#things are. awful. i hate being in my early 20s actually. i feel like an animated corpse being haunted by memories

[phantomluck]

having to tell your partner that you can't move in together because actually you feel trapped and it might ruin the entire relationship is a total vibe killer tbh

[hereforhalstead]

home.

Spencer Reid x reader fluff!

thank you SO much for the love on my first post, I’m so glad you liked it! Ill be honest, I started this with a completely different plot in mind but, here we are! Enjoy!

*****

5 days. That’s all it had been, but to him it felt like a lifetime. 

The more he thought about it, he realised, it was the longest you’d ever been apart.

You’d been asked to stay for a week in London with Garcia and Morgan to assist on a case that Emily so lovingly emailed over late last week. 

One minute it simply words on a screen in your inbox, the next you knew you were on a plane over the Atlantic.

Every night you and Spencer had spent as much time as possible on the phone, some evenings only getting 5 minutes but others being hours. But it still wasn’t enough.

You missed him. More than ever.

The case was tough and starting to take its toll on you, it felt never ending and you started to wonder when you’d actually be able to return to the place you called home.

The truth is, London was your actual home. Being born and raised there until your early 20s when you transferred over to the BAU unit and the rest was history.

Yes, it was nice to be back in familiar territories. Moaning about tourists blocking the pavements, stopping every 2 minutes to take photos of a bird sitting on a fence..

 The god awful weather still going strong as you were now on your 5th day of rain, wondering if you would actually see a glimpse of sun before you left.

But home wasn’t London anymore, it was wherever Spencer was. 

And he wasn’t here. 

****

You’d taken the papers back to your hotel room, the sheets all spread across the floor in a disorganised manner yet you still knew where everything was and that worked for you.

You were still in the same clothes that you had put on about 26 hours ago, cold coffee in hand, staring at the black text on the papers as if the answer would just jump out at you if you continued to do so.

Your phone ringing is what brought you out of your trance, letting out a loud yawn before answering it.

“How’s my favourite girl?”

Was all he said and it had you melting, bringing your knees to your chest as you leant back onto the bed.

“Hey Spence” you mumbled back, you could practically hear his smile on the other end of the line forming, just at the sound of your voice. 

“What time is it there?” You added 

“about 2 ish” 

Shit. That meant it was 6am for you, and you didn’t even realise. 

High praise for the blackout curtains in the room I suppose.

“And you’re still awake?” Your voice was sturn

“So are you?” He hit back. Fair play.

“I could’ve just woken up, you don’t know”

But he did. He knew you, sometimes better than you knew yourself.

“This is me you’re talking to baby, do you want me to hang up and ring back so you can see my name on the screen again?” 

Again, you could practically see how he would be sitting. Arm folded across his chest, either book still open in one hand or a hot cup of tea hooked onto his thumb. Smile as big as could be.

“Point taken” you mumbled 

“Tell me about your day” he was quick to respond, you hated yourself for how there was a quick second of the feeling that you couldn’t be bothered. 

You were exhausted and missing him.

You didn’t want to be talking to him over the phone about the same thing you’d been discussing with endless people all day. 

You wanted to be back at home, enveloped in his arms as he pulls you back into him as you try to leave the bed.

Or running your fingers absentmindedly through his hair as he tells you yet another fact about how despite its significance, London was actually the smallest city in the UK.

You missed the little things, you missed him.

“Y/N?” His voice broke the silence as you sighed, words leaving your lips before you had a chance to even process them 

“I miss you, Spencer” 

There was yet another pause, almost a huff coming from his end of the line as he replied

“I miss you too, sweetheart” 

“Spence, honestly I’m drained” you began to ramble 

“I’ve been staring at these same pieces of paper for days, I’m starting to think I’m just wasting their time being here”

He could hear you throw some of the documents onto the floor, bringing your hand to your forehead to relieve some of the tension.

“He’s killed 5 women since I’ve been here Spencer, 5. How useless am I that these women are literally depending on me and here i am, failing them” 

He was hurting, he was hurting because you were hurting. 

“Baby, don’t talk about yourself like that” he assured, you could feel tour bottom lip quiver as the tears formed in your eyes 

“You know they asked you to be over there for a reason, you’re good at your job. You deserve to be there with the best of them and don’t forget that” 

“But I do-“ you tried to cut him off but he was quick to interject “uh uh”

“I will stay on this phone with you until you can tell me you’re good at your job, I don’t care how long it takes, Y/N. I want to hear you say it”

“What about if I don’t say if, just to get you to stay on the phone with me?” You lightly chuckled, heart fluttering as you hear his huff of laughter you so dearly missed.

“I mean, I have to be on the jet in 6 hours so if you’re happy for the whole team to hear our conversation then that works for me”

“Spence, I just feel as though I’m losing my mind. Tell me what I’m missing” you almost pleaded, knowing that if he was here he probably would have this case solved by now and back on the plane home. 

“You know the most important thing? Honestly, it’s what I do all the time and it truly does work”

You sat up in hope, waiting to hear his groundbreaking methods of solution.

“Sleep, Y/N”

You huffed, returning to your hunched back, cross legged position of defeat.

“That’s not fair” you scorned, his light laugh flooding through your ears “I thought you were actually about to help” 

“I mean it sweetheart, you can’t give your best to something on no sleep. I’m worried about you and if I can’t be there to look after you, I need to know that you’re looking after you” 

His words hurt, you knew he was worried but never thought he would just come right out and tell you.

“Fine” you huffed, crooking your neck to keep the phone in place at your ear as you start to get undressed.

“I’ll have a quick shower and then I’ll get into  bed” you assured “then I’ll text you in the morning with how many hours sleep I had”

You waited to hear his laugh but there was nothing.

“Can I ju-“ his tone was filled with doubt, like he was second guessing what he was about to say 

You let the line go quiet, waiting for him to finish his thoughts 

“Can I just stay on the phone with you?” 

You felt as though your legs could give way at the pain in his voice, the desperation to just have more time with you had you filling with guilt.

“Of course, Spence”

There was a hum of happiness and content, practically seeing how he slumped back into the headboard of the bed in the comfort of your words

“Why don’t you tell me about your day?” You questioned, giving up on the idea of the shower as you climbed into bed

“Oh! Funny story actually. Hotch had….”

There it was, the voice of such piece and familiarity that you so badly missed. 

He was your home.

[wh0relibrarian]

pretty thing

full fic based on this

just a few headcanons while I start working on a longer piece (I’m back home for the holidays and the idea of Sukuna being from the deep south has me frothing at the mouth)

content ahead: southern sukuna au, black coded!reader, just slight innuendos, reader is in her early 20s and sukuna is in his 30s, not reallyyy canon at all!! so don’t expect accurate information on his past, also, not his true form. don’t hate me!

word count: 913

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Southern!Sukuna who was born and raised in the deep south by a loving, yet distant mother. His father was never in the picture, but it’s okay, because Sukuna quickly learned that it would be his job to take care of his mother and little brother. This was no problem for him.

Southern!Sukuna who has always been a hard worker. Eventually, he’d come to run his own construction company. He’d been working his way up the ladder since he was eighteen. Now in his thirties he believes he should start doing something other than work. Maybe linger around a bar or two, see what “Tinder” is all about.

Southern!Sukuna who goes away on a business trip, never being the one to fly, but it was necessary for an upcoming project he had up north. One thing about Sukuna, he’ll always rep his home state. He’ll always have a shirt with the (insert a southern state) flag on it, if not a matching hat, it’ll be one from Bass Pro Shops. His entire body is tattooed from neck to ankle. He’s been getting them for years and they make his complexion look like silk. He takes incredibly good care of his skin, he has to in his line of work.

Southern!Sukuna who sees you eyeing him from his peripheral vision. You tried to be subtle, looking away as soon as his eyes would meet yours, but he caught you each time. You just couldn’t help yourself, the man was beautiful. You couldn’t help think what on earth a fucking cowboy was doing on this side of the country. Sure, you were going back to your hometown for the winter but there’s no way his reasoning was the same. He was visibly older, and no man with family up north looks that redneck. You had to know more about him, but oh god, you’d never actually approach him. 

Southern!Sukuna who walks up behind you while you wait for your bag to drop from baggage claim, as was he. It startled you, mainly because you swore he was just waving at someone waiting for him outside, you thought he was gone already; so when you feel a light tap on your shoulder, you expect it to be your mother who was supposed to be waiting for you in the parking lot. When you turn around and see a 5 '8 man (short king, but taller than me) looking down at you with wide eyes you can’t help but jump back. He didn’t mean to startle you, he just wanted to know what a pretty thing like you was doing in his neck of the woods. 

“I ain’t mean to scare you, sweetheart,” he reaches out his right hand from his pocket to give you a handshake, you reciprocate of course, still in awe that he’s speaking to you. “Was just wonderin’ what a pretty thing like you was doin’ in my neck of the woods.” His southern drawl was thick, and smooth. The way his words reverberated off his tongue sent heat waves straight to your cunt. 

Southern!Sukuna asks for your number, just so he can check on his favorite city girl throughout the holiday. After a short conversation, he learned that you were really only here for family. No relationship, no notable friendships, simply spending the next four weeks in what seemed like an all expense paid nature getaway. He didn’t want you to be lonely, claiming that he’d check on you every now and then to see how you were doing, maybe take you out at some point if you were up to it. You still couldn’t believe the exchange, he invaded your personal space with the most intoxicating scent— some type of deep musk he clearly used to cover the underlying smell of cigarettes. 

Southern!Sukuna who thought about you for days. You were unlike anything he’d laid eyes on. The first thing that stuck out was your hair. Thick and curly, not falling below your ears, but in the most gorgeous afro he’d ever seen. The ends were pink and he couldn’t help but think you both were meant to be, since his entire head was a light pink shade. Your skin looked so smooth, you smelled like clean laundry and strawberries. Maybe some type of sugary substance too. He pondered on all of these things for days, just aching for you to text him how bored you were, how you wanted to spend some time with him.

Southern!Sukuna who damn near fell out when he got a notification on his phone.

(111) 222-3333

Hey :) it’s the girl you met at the airport. I just realized I never got your name? I never told you mine either, lol, I’m ____.

You anticipated his response, thinking for a second that maybe you said too much. Surely an older guy like him doesn’t want to text like this. But then—

(444) 555-6666

Hey, sweetheart. Such a pretty name. Sorry for not properly introducing myself before, I’m Sukuna.

[sun-lit-roses]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tags @curator-on-ao3 and @emonydeborah! I apologize for how long it's taken me to respond 💛

I'm so late to this, I have no idea who's already done it. If you haven't yet, please, please consider yourself tagged - and tag me in your response so that I can read your answers! (Actually if you have done it already, also link me so I can read your answers. These are fun questions with bonus fic recs so I'd like to see them all!)

Anyway, I got a little rambly, so I'll put in a cut to not murder anyone's dash 😁

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 82.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 397,560.

3. What fandoms do you write for? I've been primarily writing Star Trek (Strange New Worlds and Voyager) lately, with a dash of The Librarians and Leverage.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Fringe Benefits (SNW) - My beloved monument to ridiculousness where I approach the totally canon subject of Chris Pike's horse skills via Number One's hair.

October 2373 (Voyager)- My magnum opus! The one time I've managed to achieve completion of an October prompt list - five of them. In one coherent (ish) fic. Granted, it did take me until December... but the point is that I finished it! It follows a very eventful and occasionally random month aboard the Starship Voyager, where they have to deal with imprisonment, alien attacks, diplomatic meetings, and Kathryn's inability to talk about her feelings.

For the Captain Who Has Everything: A Prixin Story (Voyager) - Look. You can't just give me three delightful misfits for ONLY ONE EPISODE and not expect me to adopt them as my own. SO this is what happened next for the little Good Shepherd flock, where 'what happened next' is shenanigans to set up their Captain with her First Officer as a gesture of gratitude.

Growing Pains (SNW) - Aw, one of my early Chris and Una fics! This is one of the set I wrote while the first season was just airing weekly - hard to believe that was almost two years ago 😲 This one was the aftermath of Una 'I'm just fine-ing' her way into emergency surgery and Chris letting her know that there were things up with which he would not put - top of the list being losing his Number One.

Command Advice (SNW) - Another of the early SNW set! This was my 'spicier' take on the resulting conversation between Chris and Una after she learns about her Where Fun Goes to Die nickname. In one version, they have a very serious conversation about Starfleet principles. In *this* version, they're less serious. Also naked.

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes! Or at least I try. I love and cherish every comment, but I tend to run (very) behind on responding and have to play the game of 'is it weird to reply to a comment this late?'

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? My very first fic ever! Actually I think it might be my only fic with an angsty ending. I guess I got it all out of my system early. That one is Wednesday, a Sanctuary fic where Helen has a very sad day.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Literally everything else. I can't even pick out of my collection of sappiness.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not really.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes, there's very little I would not be willing to at least try writing! Up to now I think I've written at least mildly smutty M/F, F/F, and F/M/M sexcapades and/or BDSM. I'm working my way around to some F/F/M for SNW if I could get the three of them to cooperate.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I think I've only written one crossover and it was for SNW/The Librarians, bringing about a meeting between Eve Baird and Una Chin-Riley, which we would have in a fair and just universe.

Wait, I take that back! I also had a little snippet on Tumblr where Hawkeye, BJ, Jonathan, and Ardeth meet up, because The Mummy/MASH is... certainly a combo. Actually, I think I also had a snippet of Gomez Addams meeting Hawkeye and BJ? What is it about MASH?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Also not that I know of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Kind of? The Discord crowdsourced the plot to a ridiculously hilarious fic and I wrote a bit of it for fun, but I'm not sure if that counts? Co-writing does sound like a good time, though!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Voyager! The happiest little ship in the Delta Quadrant 🚀

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have a lot of bits and pieces on my hard drive that will never be finished and released into the Ao3 wilds - the plot didn't work out/was barely a plot, I've moved on from the fandom, I was trapped in a fever dream of my nieces playing Frozen on repeat, blacked out, and woke up to 3 chapters dealing with the socio-political ramifications of Elsa decamping and Anna appointing the prince of another land in charge rather than Arendelle's Privy Council. Anyway.

The WIPs I have posted, though, I fully intend to finish at some point! It may take a while and it might not be my original planned ending, but they haunt me. So one day I will have to put them to rest. Possibly with a 2x4, tarp, and shovel.

16. What are your writing strengths? I like to think I'm pretty good at getting into the character's voice. I hope so, at least; I spend a lot of time on it! Also, humor, although that one is objective, of course.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Commas. Clearly.

Structurally, it varies per fic, but I have a habit of running thin on plot. I start strong at A, want to get to B, but the middle gets kind of wander-y. This also leads to me sometimes stalling mid-project if I get distracted or pulled away - hence my current three WIPs. Though it doesn't help that the past six months have sucked on letting me have much free time.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? If it was short, easy dialogue in Spanish or French I might be able to swing it. Otherwise, I would need to phone a friend.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Sanctuary!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? This is a hard one. I love them all for different reasons, some of which have more to do with the time I was writing them than with the actual contents. Reluctance was my first multi-chapter fic ever back in the FFN days, so that seems like a pretty good candidate. I learned so much while writing that fic!

[krirebr]

♠️ Aspec stuff - I hope this is not disrespectful but I'm wondering how you found out? I'm bi and I remember the moment I found out clearly. Everything suddenly made sense and clicked into place. Did you have a moment like that?

Not disrespectful at all!! And my answer is, yes? Sort of? It was a very long journey that ended decisively.

It can be really hard, I think, to define the absence of something, rather than a presence. I only ever had my own experiences, so I spent my teenage years assuming what I was feeling was the same as everyone else. Also, it was the late 90s, early aughts, and we just really didn't talk about queer stuff nearly as much, especially not identities outside of being gay.

Around the time I turned 20, I finally started realizing that my experience probably wasn't what my straight friends felt. I also was fairly certain I wasn't gay. In 2005/6, the only other orientation that was really out there was bi, so I figured that's what I had to be. I mean, it made a bit of sense. My attraction to both men and women was basically the same. I just didn't have the vocabulary then to understand that that level of attraction was 0. But I also always knew that the bi label didn't really fit. But I had to be something!

So I really fumbled all the way through my twenties. I was much happier when I wasn't trying to hook up or date, but that couldn't be ok, right? Everything and everyone was telling me that I'd be happier if I was in a relationship and if I wasn't a virgin anymore. So, every few years, I would force myself to get on the apps, or let my friends set me up with someone and it was always awful. It always made me miserable.

And I was getting really frustrated with this part of my identity still being such a question mark. It was really starting to weigh on me.

So, a few months before I turned 30, I got on Tinder. And it was the worst one yet. I hated matching with people, I hated talking to people, I hated going on dates. Like once, I went out with a guy and on the date he told me he was married and I was so fucking relieved. It meant I never had to go out with him again and I wouldn't have to feel bad about it. 😂

After another bad round of dating, I was talking to my sister about how frustrated I was, and she said, "I just listened to a podcast about this thing called 'asexuality' and it actually made me think about you. I hope that's ok." And that night, I listened to the podcast episode. And it wasn't great - it was two straight, cis, white guys talking about something they didn't really understand, but it pointed me towards asexuality.org and their FAQ and that was my lightning strike moment. It defined not just asexuality, but also aromanticism and I was like "Oh! This is me!" And yeah, that's when everything snapped into place, and everything I'd done that I'd never quite been able to make sense snapped into focus.

It was still a bit of a journey after that to fully define these words for myself. But yeah, that was my moment. And things got a lot better, and easier, and happier for me after that.

Thank you for asking Jaqui and letting me share!! 💜💜

Kris's 700 Celebration

[salted-caramel-tea]

What are your thoughts about?

I was gonna try and collect my thoughts coherently before I started talking bu ti cant be bothered doing that so like. about the dream and that one circle of mcyt that just fucking hate them .

actually this is about how I have felt observing the dream space recently.

im uncomfortable?? not with the dream team, I still really love them and I enjoy their content and I do still watch sap naps streams if im awake for them but honestly taking time just to spend time on my f1 blog has been like a weight lifted from my shoulders.

just talking about dtblr, ive seen people trying to make the best of the situation by live-blogging sapnaps streams making jokes spreading positivity for all 3 of them but it doesn't really of much to take away from the pressure of the situation. Every day it seems like some cc somewhere has something to say about dream or George or sapnap and every day we rush over here to discuss it. it almost feels like theres this pressure to perform and to respond to what is being said, we need to discuss everything as a controversy no matter how stupid or insignificant the situation is and we contribute to the snowballing of tiny things that honestly dont need the attention the theyre getting and its tiring to watch. like im at the point where im scrolling past 'did you see what x said' because honestly I dont give a shit I dont give a shit about a cc who spoke to the dteam on discord maybe twice talking about their 'truth' I really dont care .

im genuinely just fed up with the way the creator space and fan spaces behave. Dream posts 'pls talk to me' and creators say 'but that won't get me clout' back to him.

who gives a shit if dreams stole punz girlfriend. who cares if dream sent a dm that might have been considered rude to Sara Simons a fully grown ducking middle aged woman with better things to do than start twitter drama. who gives a shit about sniff having one insignificant negative interaction with dream over a year. none f this is your fucking turret its just airing out high school level petty drama that could easily be fixed with a fucking dm . its pathetic. the way so many creators are going 'I too am a victim' and its 'he sent me a private message I didnt like' who fucking cares. and all of this 'ill stream explaining my story' what story. that he made a joke in bad taste. its performative. they want views they want twitters support they want to seem like theyre on the RIGHT side so theyre just pulling any old story out of their ass to add to the mentality of the mob and make it seem like yes I too hate dream because he is so awful when in reality he was probably just a bit of a twat like a lot of guys in their early 20s are . the only way hes gonna know that he did something that made u annoyed or upset or even mildly fucking miffed in the case of Sara fucking Simons is if you tell him. and we saw that bc 5 mins later shes saying oh its all fine he messaged me . see how fucking easy it is to actually fix these tiny ass issues if you actually have a conversation before launching a hate campaign on twitter dot com . and people going off to run with it and add it to the pile of 'poof' they have. hell ive seen someone saying they appreciate dream saying they want to talk about situations and saying they want to chat with him about an experience they had with one of his friends like what does that have to do with dream actually why not just take the initiative and talk to the actual person involved instead of making dream do it for u. its all just drama mongering

on a more serious note I really dont know how to feel with the whole situation with caiti. George didi fuck up and im not moving from that stance- whatever happened he made her feel uncomfortable and went on the defence instead of prioritising apologising to her for the way she felt about the situation.

what I cat fucking stand is how weirdly this situation has evolved. the initial statement was that he had touched her waist and tickled her and cat didnt like that. THAT CONTACT the touching of her waist was spread across twitter as a sexual assault. which its fucking not and it pisses me off as a victim to see how loosely terms of sex crime are being thrown around bc no matter how uncomfy you are touching your waist is not a sex crime. there was no mention of inappropriate touching actually, just that he had crossed a physical boundary with her and ive already talked about why I can empathise with that delayed reaction in feeling deeply uncomfortable with the situation . so it confused me as to why people on tiktok were spreading misinformation that his hands were down her pants and cat coming out of left field with he was grabbing my tits. because none of that was ever discussed in any of her prior statement and that seems like pertinent information when were discussing sexual assault. and from what ive seen her friends timeline of events dont match up with hers. her timeline of events onset even match up that well with her other comments on the situation and all of it just feels so fucking odd. why do the details change depending on who you ask and when you ask them

but I wasn't there. I dont know what actually happened. having experienced it you automatically hold that understanding towards her despite all the backlash because people blamed me too, they didnt believe me either and you never want to completely dismiss it no matter how weird the story seems because what if. keeping myself in the situation is stretching myself in two different directions where one is dismissing the claims of assault because nothing adds up and the other is she might be like me .

the reaction to caitis initial statement has snowballed extremely out of proportion if u ask me. nobody needs to know everyones personal grievances with dream or George or sapnap and to say that youre sharing these to support victims is a straight lie bc it has nothing to do with victims they receive nothing from your story that he made a bad joke 3 years ago or whatever and everything to do with the fact that you are utilising an opportunity to gain relevancy again and I dont want to partake in their relevancy.

I dont want to partake in any of this fucking drama actually. it's non stop. it's constant. its all over my dash all day every day but maybe its just the ppl im following idc. but I dont want to come back into a community where im going to find myself fighting to justify why I still enjoy the content of some creators while there are other creators receiving less vitriol for breaking the literal fucking law . its exhausting . its been years of it for me .

im not mentally well. I have a lot going on in my family life and I didnt realise how bad things were until I told my work friend I hadn't seen in a while my 'family drama' and she and the assistant manager pulled me aside and said 'im so sorry youre going through that right now are you dealing with everything alright?'. I have my final exams within the next month. I need to pass these to graduate. I have so much that is already causing me stress in my life and so much of the misinformation around the situation is so triggering and untagged and I dont want to log on and see another bout of 'x responds to x' 'x talks about dream' 'x shares thoughts on George situation' . I cant fucking do that right now.

people have called it the cowards way out, bailing at the burden of controversy but im not switching sides. im not deactivating. im not becoming a dranti. I still talk about the dteam i still like the dteam but I cannot force myself to endure other peoples stresses at the time being . thats all ive been thinking about rlly .

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia,

Behind-the-scenes-fic-ask, number 21 and falling falling stars please ❤️

21. What is something you didn't expect people to notice or gravitate towards in this fic?

Ooooo, okay, actually quite a few things!

So the biggest one is that I just never expected to have Dr Gary be anything more than an extremely minor character that Efnisien mostly reflected on. I never planned to write whole sessions, and the first one was only a section of a chapter rather than a whole chapter, because I thought readers would hate it.

I actually really hate reading a lot of fictional therapy sessions, especially when that's not the focus of the fic. Most fictional therapy sessions read like 'therapist is narrating pop psychology and telling this character everything they want to hear and they're subbing in for a kind parental figure' at best.

There are exceptions to that, but for the most part, I find that boring - it feels like a kind of writing that is not quite lazy, but a bit 'there are other more interesting ways to share this.' Therapists don't feel like real people in those circumstances, with their own motives, thoughts, intentions and drives. They feel like an extended part of the character's brain, or they feel like an empty function.

But Dr Gary was like, was a hit. I was getting a lot of asks about him, a lot of interest about him in the comments, and in the first few chapters, me and my beta actually kind of shipped him and Efnisien together before he met Arden (that's how we ended up with Underline the Black lol).

So yeah, that's the biggest one!!! And that one is a pretty big one. :D

Otherwise, I was also surprised by (but maybe shouldn't have been) how many Kadek/Efnisien shippers there are and Kadek/Efnisien/Arden shippers. I was like...hmm...how can I put this - Kadek has darker brown skin, and in those cases some readers don't really go for that chemistry. He's also 20~ years older than Efnisien, though he doesn't act like it, lol. Like, I personally shipped them even though I wasn't going to write them into the main story, but I was very reserved/aware that people might not want that. Especially with how confrontational and sometimes even mean Kadek can be.

Honestly that was like, probably the nicest surprise. It wasn't that I expected people to be awful, often I try and go in with fairly open expectations, it was more like I was prepared for people to not feel/see what I was feeling/seeing about a character. And I was okay with that, because he's a side character. But we got way, way more scenes with Kadek because of how people responded to him.

This story really couldn't have been what it became without the readers! The best part about not planning a story is I can follow the kind of momentum of readers. I don't believe in caving to fanservicey stuff, but I do believe in 'oh you're open to this? I can give you more of this!' or 'oh you like him!!! Yay!! I do too! Let's experiment with a whole therapy session chapter and see how y'all feel about it.'

:D That's my favourite part of writing, honestly. I actually kind of feel bad for the people who don't read fics as they go like this, and just read it all when it's completed at the end. Because they miss this kind of alive creation of this ongoing story, and they miss being a part of it. And obviously they also miss the agony of waiting for chapters, but as someone who reads WIPs myself, idk there's something very cool about seeing something come to life - especially like, if say early on you are like 'I love this character so much' and then a bunch of other people say it, and then the author is like 'well this character can make the story stronger so good news everyone, I'm putting him in more because you all love him so much.'

That's... like... *chef's kiss*

~

From this meme!

[lexi-the-demon-69]

I saw your CR hot take post and I have something to tell you

1st of all, Licorice literally witnessed Dark Choco getting hurt, and tried to calm the fight down when DC and Pomegranate were fighting, and she literally told Licorice to be silenced. 2nd, there’s literally tons of evidence in game and Pomegranate and Licorice hate each other and Licorice literally has lines in game boasting about how much he wants to become more stronger then Pomegranate. Third of all, Pomegranate has shown interest in Dark Enchantress cookie, who’s an older woman. Meaning Pomegranate could be in her thirties, plus to add onto that, Licorice could be in his early 20s cause of how he’s a possible highschool dropout and how he has a kpop costume and a school uniform costume. With Pomegranate being a manager and a teacher. Plus teachers can get pressed of charges for dating students, and a manager dating a young kpop star can also be illegal to.

Also, next time before you ship a toxic ship, why don’t you actually pay attention to what’s toxic in canon instead of shipping toxic ships right away, cause you alongside every other lic0//p0m3 shipper in the cookie run fandom has the IQ of a grape and wishes to ignore the fact that lic0//p0m3 is toxic. Cause you just wanna be stubborn

Thanks for bringing this to my attention. Before I even begin to talk more about my reasoning, all I want to say is this:

I do not appreciate being called names over a damn ship. Saying that I have an IQ of a grape all because I ship two piece of shit characters together is not cool. In my personal opinion, I don't see this ship as toxic. Licorice and Pomegranate are both awful people and both use others to get what they want. They are both part of a cult that wants to destroy the world.

Here's my reasoning

1.) Just because Licorice tried to calm down the situation, doesn't mean he likes Dark Choco, nor is he a good person. It simply means that the guy has standards and doesn't agree with how far Pomegranate went.

2.) I don't really see it as "oh they hate each other", but more as they see each other as rivals for Dark Enchantress Cookie's attention. Everyone can interpret things in a different way. You may see them hating each other, while I mostly see it as a dumb rivalry. There's just something about these two arguing and then angrily kissing each other is just too fucking funny. I don't really take the ship as seriously as say Dark Choco x Parfait, but I still like it.

3.) The School of Darkness is an alternate universe. It's not canon as far as I'm aware or concerned. And I don't appreciate you using that as a way to say that the ship is pedophilic in nature. I don't ship them in that universe. In the canon kingdom universe, I do. The same thing goes for the K-pop thing. I don't see the stupid BTS update to be canon but more as a fun little thing for the fans to enjoy. (However, that is debatable) Trying to imply that this ship is illegal over some stupid alternate universe thing or the K-pop shit is disgusting and you should feel ashamed for what you said.

Am I going to stop shipping this? No. Am I going to tolerate you trying to label me as something I'm not? No. If you do not like the fact that I like a ship YOU think is toxic then you can ignore me or block me!

By the way, why'd you ask anonymously? I honestly want to see who you really are or are you just a coward who likes to call people stupid and imply that they're a proshipper over a ship you don't like?

Sit the fuck down and do not send another forsaken ask in my inbox again because I will not respond.

Thank you. UwU

[oudkee]

inazuma eleven ask game

but im not gonna make you send me asks i am just answering all the questions out of boredom. original by @marmolao , post here

1-Favorite season/game/manga.

aliea season (2) my beloved. super nostalgic and definitely the arc i've rewatched the most

2-Favorite og character(s).

kidou yuuto my son. also desarm he's a funky alien. uhhh rococo and kazemaru too

3-Favorite go character(s).

TENMA, shindou used to be my fave but on my rewatch i was like ok he's kind of a dick in galaxy like he really leaned into it. kinako my beloved and most of all ray rukh. robot son. I FORGOT BITWAY okay no bitway is my favourite go character and prolly my fave inazumer of all time. sexy older alien man and probably the precursor of my love for the equally evil alien miss founder from deep space nine.

question 3 was actually missing from the copypasta and so was question 4. i took a wild guess what 3 was but no clue for 4...

5-Favorite areori character(s).

shimerigawa kageru. i have his license in my wallet and ive mistakenly grabbed it instead of my id at bars lmao. heres my ugly anime boy card.

6-Least favorite og character(s).

no one really occurs to me immediately. i used to be really hateful as a teenager i had like a whole list LMAO uhhhhhh i guess the evil mastermind from ffi season. garfield

7-Least favorite go character(s).

the bear

8-Least favorite areori character(s).

kind of like. everyone lmao. no one appealed to me and areori just feels like a soulless cash grab so absolutely none of the characters were even interesting beyond having some like surface level thing that got resolved immediately every time

9-Favorite coach(es).

kageyama. what a fucked up old man

10-Favorite scout character(s).

i never used them in the games lol but i like the designs of like. the machinery/mechanical themed ones

11-Favorite og team(s).

mikage sennou and all five aliea teams but especially epsilon

12-Favorite go team(s).

perfect cascade and ixal fleet........

13-Favorite areori team(s).

none oops sorry

14-Favorite hissatsu technique(s).

stargazer... shoot pocket uhh. god there were actually so many but i just don't remember any of them. i think perfect cascade had like the command ones that were cool but i dont remember im geriatric

15-Favorite hissatsu tactic(s).

REALLY dont remember any of these

16-Favorite keshin(s).

plasma shadow.........

17-Favorite keshin armour(s).

every single one of them slapped. they all looked so good. tenma's and ray rukh's were the best tho

18-Favorite miximax(s).

i dont like them.

19-Favorite soul(s).

bitway's fucked up tentacle monster

20-Favorite character design(s).

WAY too many. with a series with hundreds of characters im bound to be obsessed with a lot of the designs. so i really like all the ixalens from a design standpoint because they're almost... insect like but then they have that vorta paleness that's like okay you definitely came from a planet with a dense atmosphere that doesn't have a lot of natural light. the bird people had really good designs. tenma has that awful early 2010s shonen protag look about him but he's just so cute it works i love the cinnamon roll hair. chrono stone had a lot of random background characters that really slapped like engir and rudzhik it's baffling to me that this was the same season that had those awful mixi max designs. speaking of chrono stone i ALSO like the creepy factor of all the robot boys looking like. essentially the exact same like same height same body same skintone but with different eyes and hair it's so icky creepy i LOVE IT. i wish they were explored deeper because i love mechanical horror and the relationship between artificial beings and the organic life that surrounds them. not only that but their maker has like gendo ikari vibes. if u havent noticed i have a lot 2 say.

21-Favorite opening(s)/ending(s).

maji de kansha literally actually changed my life. i got through a lot of really low points because of maji de kansha this isn't even a joke. it's been a decade now and the song still hits just as hard. as for endings uhhhhhhhhhh katte ni cinderella was the best but i don't like the full version only the short anime version

22-Favorite character song(s).

ice road, starline, and yasashii mirai. OH and don't stop that's such a fucking banger from ibuki munemasa himself. he did that for us

23-Favorite friendship(s)/character dynamic(s).

i like the dynamic everyone has with endou like he actually becomes friends with like. everyone even the weird italian kid that thought it was okay kageyama tried to murder him. well he didn't think it was okay he just didn't even really care which is almost weirder

24-Favorite ship(s).

im almost 27 i dont really find fulfillment in shipping teenagers together

25-Favorite protagonist(s).

tenma and kidou my boyz

26-Favorite villain(s).

BITWAY OZROCK!!!!!!! and kageyama

27-Favorite character’s backstory.

i have this really messed up and long origin story for all the aliea season kids that i wrote years ago lmao... as for canon i just don't care i guess. it's not so much the backstory as how the character handles it in the end like the backstory can be Aww Sad all it wants but if the character acts like a dick or just unintersting in the plot bc of it then why should i really care. fudou akio im calling u out

28-Favorite sidecharacter(s)/NPC(s).

the clown

29-Headcanon(s) worth of sharing here.

i remember i had this whole kageyama family/shindou family/tachimukai family tree headcanon that was like basically shindou was kageyama's illegitimate son. kageyama's brother married tachimukai's older sister or cousin or whatever and they had hikaru. and way long down the line hikaru was related to sakamaki who created perfect cascade. much to think about

30-Free ask!

i need everyone to know that inazuma eleven is intrinsically linked with star trek: deep space nine by way of deep space nine's japanese dub. the lady who dubbed ezri dax was the lady who voiced toramaru. that is all

[therealwondermundo]

my origin story back to art

My childhood was ROUGH and my 20s were a wild ride, but I’m ok now. I have had a successful career, own a home, and have an amazing 9 year old. I do okay for myself. ✨

I thought I had achieved my “dream,” but I still hated myself. I still suffered from what I thought was just high functioning depression and anxiety. I felt awful for feeling awful and constantly had/have to fight off thoughts that tell me I am a loser, lazy, and should just die.

In 2021, I started seeing a trauma informed therapist in early March and learned about structural disassociation. Dissociation is a spectrum that can go all the way from daydreaming to dissociative identity disorder.

I fall somewhere in between there, but I honestly didn’t believe I could have some form of structural dissociation.

I doubted the severity of what happened to me and saw myself as resilient for not letting it get me down.

But the reality is that if I actually remembered the traumatic nature of those memories fully, I wouldn’t be able to function.

The way I survived was by my brain taking those things and finding a way to tell itself that it was no big deal, because the alternative would have left me paralyzed and at risk of being hurt worse.

“Having structural dissociation means we are split into different parts, each with a different personality, feelings, and behavior. As a result, we feel completely different from moment to moment. One moment we feel strong and happy, the next moment we feel empty and numb, then we feel rage. It might all happen suddenly without an apparent trigger.”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-emotional-intensity/201907/do-you-have-normal-part-and-traumatized-part

My stubborn self still couldn’t/wouldn’t believe it. I was convinced my new therapist was wrong, I wasn’t traumatized, I just had depression, and was lazy.

What happened next?

I told myself that if I really did have other parts to prove it, show itself. I told it to do something only I/we would know. None of this “move my left arm” stuff. I felt like I needed proof.

A few days later, I was coloring with my son and I turned the page over when I finished the sheet. I just started drawing lines.

Drawing lines quickly turned into me drawing a face, which suddenly led to me quickly remembering how I used to draw this face ALL THE TIME when I was a teenager.

I sat there in awe, trying to keep my composure as I was filled with tears of joy and sadness. I told it I missed it, but that wasn’t all I remembered.

It’s a weird feeling to miss yourself and to receive a flood of memories, years memories and insights.

Yes, I had turned my passion into a career, but I lost my passion somewhere in there and forgot why I created in the first place.

1️⃣ I remembered how I used to make a ton of cool analog collages.

2️⃣ I started drawing and getting better at it, quickly.

3️⃣I realized how I had grown my design skills since I first started teaching myself html and graphic design in the late ’90s. But I never applied my skills to personal work since they’d grown.

4️⃣ I decided to apply what I learned + my ❤️ of collages and digital art into making again, starting with digital collages.

5️⃣ A few people saw my art and said I should make NFTs if I wasn’t already. I asked an NFT was and found an amazing community.

6️⃣ I began to learn more about digital art outside of work through the community and got an iPad and Apple Pencil. That completely changed the way I create art and helped me get outside of Adobe, which I associated with my career.

There is still a long ways to go with my journey and not sure it will ever end, but I know that the only way through it is with mindfulness and art.

[mekatrio]

complaining abt how the women were written in aa3

my aa3 verdict is that it was Weird About Women actually.. like very weird and a weaker game for it. i already went over this in my godot post but seriously, it was so weird how this game was more about what godot thought of mia, than it was about mia herself.. like i find it extremely weird that a conversation between mia and godot didnt happen at any point like what was with that, godot kept talking abt mia mia mia and its like... why didnt mia get to say anything to him?? like... shes not dead dead, we get to chitchat with her every other case. why was mia reduced to an abstraction whenever godot was around like what... and like yeah that moment where phoenix and mia's spirit pointed fingers at godot was pretty cool but it was also like.. mia was just here with us?? a little while ago...??? speaking abt "her spirit lives on through you" like no she lives on thru maya and pearl actually. i get to chat with her every other month. why... why doesnt she get to speak for herself at any point??

and i cant believe maya our good friend maya didnt have more focus like Whattt. why is everything abt maya so so subtle.. why is her grief abt mia and her mother and her aunt and having to be the Master not more upfront? same with pearl, shes just learned that she had older sisters this whole time, why doesnt her feelings on tht get explored... vice versa with iris' feelings on pearl! and brah iris.. like i dont mind ambiguity in writing and i dont need every little thing to be explored, but seeing as the final trial went on and on abt "Putting An End to Things" aka putting an end to everyone's (mia's godot's and phoenix's) troubles with dahlia.. it was weird that iris' own troubles with dahlia werent explored more? like what role did iris actually play in the faked kidnapping plot all those years ago? or how did iris actually feel abt dahlia?? how did she feel abt the fact that her sister was executed, and how was it like for her to see her again at the sacred cavern?? when it comes to dahlia, iris should be a pretty important character, and yet she almost felt more like a footnote?? it almost felt like it was more important tht iris was phoenix's love interest than she was dahlia's twin??

speaking of dahlia, it was really weird that she was lauded as this terrible demon for planning tht fake kidnapping all those years ago, but its weird how neither valerie or iris received as much flack for the role they played in it. and while yes it is terrible that dahlia then killed valerie, its VERY WEIRD that terry fawles wasnt properly admonished at any point?? he was 20 years old dating dahlia who was 14 like.... yeah theres nothing to say, thats just very fucking weird. ace attorney can be very awful sometimes. and for everyone ingame to hate dahlia for causing his death like... bro, if u look at this another way, this is a women freeing herself from her abuser. im just very weirded out by how dahlia was framed as this terribly perfect villain, despite having been implied to have been abused by her parents and then terry. obvs that doesnt excuse the things she did but its like, iykyk; im not a fan of how a woman who tried to escape the fey's legacy was effectively demonized and not afforded more nuance, even when we as the players are very intimately aware of how fucked up this family is. pearl and iris, the other children of morgan, are afforded nuance, godot is afforded nuance despite also being a killer, so its like... hm!

and this game being weird w women of course extends beyond the final case... that moment with maya and the waitress uniform was really fucking weird! and the fact that mia is just ok with phoenix doing that really shows that this game was written by a man -_- also i made jokes early in my playthru abt godot giving off gay vibes, and my basis for that was bc it kinda seemed like he was flirting with Every male witness, but looking back at it whats crazy is that well... excluding dahlia, there were no female witness in the entire game until 3-5?? which is so weird... yes theres at least some women involved in each case, we had desiree and violetta and the computer lady, but when looking at the past 2 games, its just kinda weird that women played such minor roles in this game's cases? like in the past two games we had so many female defendants, female witnesses, female accomplices, female comedic relief... but in this game, nearly every female character was tied up in a way to a man, either as a love interest or a man's point of honor. dahlia / iris were phoenix's love interest, desiree delite was ron's wife, violetta was tigre's kinda girlfriend, maggey was gumshoe's love interest, like.. compared to the first game which barely had any female love interests (angel starr and april may are arguably the only love interests), and the second game where the only "love interest" was really regina (which is still gross but not the point), its kinda a crazy comparison.. like there was such a wide variety of female characters with various motives in the past 2 games, while in this one most of them act as a love interest to a man. even our good friend mia became a love interest to a man in this game!

but yeah um... this game was weird with the way it handled its women. female characters became a point of pride for characters like phoenix and godot, it was a matter of their pride whether they could protect them or not. rather than looking at iris' relation with dahlia, the game concluded with iris actually being phoenix's lover all along. maya's and mia's and pearl's grief became a sort of footnote, misty was dispensable for the sake of godot's pride, various female characters were love interests and lacked the more compelling motives that we saw in the past 2 games... yeah..... not great :[

[lonelyghosts-stuff]

I need motivation and tips for continuing art. I used it do it so much as a kid but stopped doing it as much for a stupid reason. Someone who I became friends with was a better artist. I was never popular but I had used to kind of be a smidge known in my classes for decent art until she came along and everyone admired her more. Now obvs that wasn't her fault and we actually became friends for a while (until she changed and pushed me away down the line in middle school and high school, but that's neither here nor there). Either way, I didn't do it as much and only did it here and there.

I never really had my own consistent style either. It was all just kind doodles and some full sized drawings. I never did well with humans but did decently with like animals and objects. This was all in a traditional sketchbook too. I eventually started some digital art too as my friend did and she had a natural affinity for it. Once again, seeing myself get outdone. I have a bad habit of feeling like a failure when I am not immediately good at something I try, especially when it is something I really really want to do. Over the years I would have random surges of doing art again but would often get distracted by other things and feel too overwhelmed to pursue the hobbies I like, especially in high school and me now at 21 in college.

I am pursing a degree in animation but haven't even started the actual animation class itself, mostly just the general education requirements and then some other art classes. I finished 2D design, 3D design, drawing, and life art. I feel like my art has gotten decent for objects and animals still, but I struggle with humans. And unfortunately my life art class was pretty awful with the teacher mostly focusing on a few things regarding the body (which don't get me wrong, was helpful at first) and just assigned busy work like 20 skeleton sketches or 10 skulls and 5 full skeletons or whatever and every single class was gesture drawing of the nude models we had and progressing to shading. Again, don't get me wrong, those are definitely important and helped me with improving my skills, but what bugged me was not only how repetitive it was (it felt like my progress plateaued very early into the class as it just became the same thing every time with the teacher not being super engaging), but the fact we never got into the main thing I struggled with when drawing people; the human face.

I am trying to reteach myself how to draw now, having done that life art class like 2 years ago now. I am watching tutorials which have helped a bit, but I think my main issue is not practicing as consistently. A huge factor being motivation. I often get busy so when I have down time, I'd rather do something mindless instead of intentional work like practicing art that I am not gonna like. And when I do draw, even the things I used to think I was decent at like animals and objects and sceneries, I hate them. They look so flat and lifeless and they look super inconsistent style wise when you compare the different aspects of the drawing. It makes me feel unmotivated and scared about my future.

How can I be an animator when I can't even be happy with a still drawing I have made? I adore 2D animation. I adore art. I have so many ideas I can fully visualize in my brain but as soon as pencil touches paper or stylus to tablet, it's like I am a toddler learning how to write. Especially on digital art because I always feel like I am doing something wrong or in the most inefficient way possible. Don't even get me started on the fill bucket tool on drawing programs never actually filling in the full space I want them too and lines never being fully solid and having weird fuzzy edges that make coloring in weird. Even when I try to look up fixes for this it never seems to work (I swap back and forth between drawing in the free program Krita and Adobe Photoshop I have temporarily while in college).

There is the part of me that wants to give up, but then the strong part of me that refuses to because I know this isn't just some random ADHD hyper-fixation I have gotten. It has been a consistent interest of mine since I was in elementary school, fluctuating based on motivation and other external factors, but never something I stopped being interested in. I dunno. I guess I just needed to rant. I need to keep practicing, I know, but I wish I had someone directly next to me at all times giving me the perfect advice and helping me immediately see where I am messing something up or whatever so my improvement can be faster lol. Idk who will even read this. But oh well.

[omegapheromone]

Imagining the dynamics of my family members based on my irl family (with a side of childhood trauma)

Note: I'm only mentioning blood-related family members who are old enough to "have presented" in an omegaverse setting. No step-parents etc mentioned. (Context: parents are divorced)

Mother: Alpha female. Birthgiver. Who we lived with for the most part. Her entire side of family is literally like the trope of a snobby alpha family who are super picky about spouses.

Father: Either a "recessive" omega (trope I've seen in some webtoons) or a Zeta (between beta and omega). Just to clarify, he did not give birth to us despite the dynamic. Mother's family hated him.

Brother (in his early 20s): Alpha, clear as day. Literal opposite of me in every way, a gym rat, career in security, plays sports on a national level.

Maternal grandparents: alpha/omega couple. One worked for law enforcement and one was a secretary.

Maternal aunts & uncles: two alphas

Paternal grandparents: beta/omega couple. One was a school principal/history teacher and one was an accountant I believe.

Paternal aunts & uncles: two betas

Random little facts bc I feel like sharing just a little. I'm the black sheep of the family unsurprisingly, being an omega firstborn.

My brother and mother used to clash so much all the time and I 100% attribute it to them both being alphas. I take credit for raising my brother at least in terms of emotional intelligence even though we used to fight when we were kids, because I'm the only family member he ever opens up to about his troubles or things that are on his mind. Also I'm the only reason he didn't become a completely misogynistic dbag gymbro.

Father is the most pathetic man I know. Like not in the little meow meow sense I mean in the sense that he's like. Genuinely an awful father and barely took any part in our lives, also his relationship w my mother was stupidly toxic and I'm glad they're divorced and never talk to each other at all.

My maternal family is the epitome of a snobby alpha family and I'm sure they wish my mother would've had kids with an alpha man rather than our father. I dislike them all intensely.

My little brother used to be annoying but nowadays we get along. He actually drove me around to a few stores today despite not getting anything himself because he had nothing else planned, I don't have a driving licence, and my foot is still a bit sore from having sprained an ankle a while ago. Had a moment of "wow, he's grown into a decent alpha, I hope his girlfriends thank me later for the emotional maturity lol"

[lovelylovelyartist]

This will come out a little rambly, so I'm sorry ahead of time, but I had some thoughts and I just want to get it out.

I was 13 when I first started adhd drugs. At that time I was a depressed kid, who didn't know where she belonged or why she was so awkward and weird. She didn't know about bisexuality, and it'd be almost 10 years until she met other people that didn't feel like a guy or a girl, and that she was they, not she. She also didn't know that OTHER people had trouble keeping schedules, doing their homework, staying still in classes, doing chores at home, breaking focus when something really had her attention. She'd been told by teachers and parents most of her life that it was a moral failing, that "I forgot isn't an excuse, because if you really cared about it you'd remember." (if you ever want to see an adult Max cry, here's how).

That depressed kid tried Riddalin.

And Hated it. With every fiber of their being.

It made me feel slowed down. It made me feel like a muted version of myself. It made me feel like I could be shuffled to the back of the classroom, and I'd be a good little kid that can put up and shut up now. It made me feel less in general. I was lucky enough to have a mom that let me drop it, despite her saying in retrospect that I was doing well in school and at home.

Fast forward about 10 years. I'm in my early twenties. I've realized a lot of things about myself, and have a better picture of who i want to be. I've started seeing a psychologist, who pegs me for ADHD the second I've walked in (20 minutes late, crying because I'm so ashamed, fidgeting up a storm). Over the next couple months we go through rigmarole getting a proper diagnosis, preparing a case file, etc, so that I might try medication again. I'm leery, because of last time, but I do.

And pretty much the first time I take it, it feels like putting on clean glasses after having blurry vision for my whole life.

It's the same medication, more or less. It's on a person 10 years older, who now actually WANTS to exist (Most of the time), and whose symptoms and presentation has changed so they WANT the chatter and unending racing thoughts to calm the hell down, and whose gone through hormonal and mental changes that 13 year old Max hadn't yet. But this time, something feels different.

There's more to this story, about how fucking awful I felt and how I had the question of "How the hell did I LIVE like this before?!" when I could no longer get medication due to supply order issues, but this feels too long as it is. Long story short, doc changed medications around so we have a temporary solution while the supply chain evens out, and now that I have medication again, it's the same goddamn feeling. I feel like I'm driving in the drivers seat, not trying to drive from the back seat. I can do stuff I want to do again. I don't feel like I'm going to crash my car.

What Ive taken forever to actually say is not everything will work for you at every point in your life. Bodies change. Brains change. Hormones change. Sometimes what didn't work for you in the past might work for you now that youre in a different place and time and body. Sometimes, it's not a bad thing to try something again.

(Barring the stuff that yknow, actually almost killed you. don't be willing to try that again maybe)

[femmascthing]

A post dedicated to Noel and Caron as parents because I don't talk about it nearly enough (In relation to my fankid fic thing I don't have a name for it yet. It is ALSO talking abt Oscar having adopted a child and Slug and Toad also having adopted a child!) (But also discussing the dynamics of the families and general others)

How the hell were Carter and Athena born? Who the fuck knows! Anyway. Caron isn't good with children in the slightest, but also some kids will just instantly cling to him (Like Oscar's adopted daughter, Amelia, who thinks Caron is super cool). Noel is good with children, however due to being an only child she isn't sure what it's like to take care of them. Athena's appearance is based off of my interpretation of a human Caron, and Carter's is based off of Noel's. However, Athena has her mom's personality and Carter has his father's. Specifically, Athena's personality resembles her mother in the early parts of the game and Carter's resembles his father's at that same time. So they argue a lot. Like a lot. Especially since the story starts when they are 15, entering grade 10. Athena is popular, appearance focused and stubborn, and Carter is studious, also popular but not as much, and is nearly always stressed. I forgot to mention. Hunter exists here! He somehow still looks like he is in his 30s despite Noel being in around her 40s, and him being 15 years older than her. How? He's just silly like that (Its actually relevant to the story itself) He's really close with his sister, especially since he has two nieces and one nephew. When Python or Jewel aren't taking care of Giselle, he's taking her to Build-a-Bear or the aquarium. More so considering Noel has returned to work. Caron isn't very fond of Hunter, he thinks he's weird and that is only encouraged by how he either smells awfully of blood and death OR really heavy perfume. Noel doesn't mind it, she's used to both. Caron does the majority of the housework and parenting during the work day due to him not being summoned often, leaving him with so much spare time. He's secretly Giselle's favourite, simply because he lets her get away with a lot. (Evil 4-5 year old lol) Oscar works as a security guard for a popular nightclub that Noel once frequented in her 20s and early 30s, and spends all of his free time with his daughter Amelia. They're extremely close, Amelia even wanting to be just like her dad. Especially since him adopting her saved her from the awful orphanage she was in. Fugo spends time with her when Oscar's working, helping her with her homework the best he can. He lets her get away with a lot of shit, but she rarely acts out. He also takes care of Toad and Slug's kid when they're busy, named Micheal. Micheal is very shy (definitely picked it up from Slug) yet also extremely protective. He's two years younger than Amelia, who's 14, making him 12. They always ask their uncle if he has a job. He does, but he works exclusively at night. He doesn't disclose more details than that. Back to the twins, Carter and Athena are like any teenager in the way that their relationships with their parents are complicated. On one hand, Athena is a pianist who strives to be just like her mother, minus the limb and terrorism things. Carter wants to be famous for his intelligence and strengths, particularly in fashion and chemistry. On the other, Athena hates the rules she has to be under. The rules are understandable, however they're WAY more than any of her friends have. Carter feels like he'll forever be in his sister and parents' shadows. Both of them have extremely strong wills, to the point where they'll dive head first into danger if it'll benefit them. Despite their parents warning them.

[king-there0f]

🖊 🖊 🖊 for you!! free spaces for three different kiddos (or just three facts about one! up to you!) :D @kerra-and-company

Aw thank you so much!

Lets give these kiddos a chance to shine. Under the cut are some snippets about 🖊Kerxsus, 🖊Meena, and 🖊Asphreah

🖊KERXSUS

I never talk about him which is a shame because of all my salads, he might have my favorite design. He is based on three plants in particular, those being a begonia maculata, maple and japanese maple, as well as the red burning bush plant.

I just love red plants.

Kerxsus was my first monochromatic sylvari design, though yellow and green feature as well, his color palette is predominately red. He is my autumnal salad and he's been on my mind a lot lately since I live in a place where maple trees are abundant. There are so many beautiful changing colors right now and so many different shades of reds and oranges and yellows and muddy greens. Muah, chefs kiss. Best season.

Kerxsus is an odd egg. He met a Nightmare Courtier very early upon waking and was intrigued by their sympathetic nature. He does not get very caught up in right VS wrong. He thinks the courtiers have their place. He doesn't like things that are overly dogmatic though, so joining as a formal member never held much appeal to him.

He has a fascination for insects and arachnids, and keeps several as odd pets. He's a bit of a mad scientist type and is constantly experimenting and testing new poisons and antidotes and solutions and solvents and isn't always the most discerning about what or who he tests them on.

He loves shiny things and likes to adorn himself with pretty gems. Sometimes he goes to what some might call extreme measures to acquire pretty shiny things. Very nearsighted. probably a monsterfucker. He likes a specimen.

🖊MEENA

My beautiful Not-Norn baby. The youngest of all my GW2 characters (not counting sylvari since they are basically born adults) Meena is in the 17-20 ish range. I haven't worked out a ton for her yet so I haven't nailed down the specifics.

But I'd love to spend more time with her character! Her color palette is very inspired by Lady Amalthia from The Last Unicorn, which is one of my favorite movies. And I really love her design - she's fun to draw!

Meena is a human who was found abandoned as a baby in the shiverpeaks and was adopted by a loving Norn couple who desperately wanted a child and felt the spirits of the wild blessed them when they found her. They assumed that a child that could survive such extreme temperatures long enough to be found bust be a Norn, so they never questioned it. She was raised like a Norn, though she never got quite as tall as her peers. Her dad's love her very much and fret over her constantly.

I have a couple different comics drafted for their family. One being of her dad's finding her for the first time. Hopefully I'll get that actually finished someday haha ; ;

I like the idea of her general vibe feeling somewhat fairy-tale or folklore-ish. There's some mystery surrounding where exactly she came from and how she didn't die as an infant in the snow and I would love to delve more into that. I feel like there are a lot of opportunities for some fun environmental pieces and warm cozy illustrations of her and her dads.

🖊ASPHREAH

They're based on a Purple Queen plant, which my Grandmom always had in her garden!

Their name is a combination of the words Asphyxiate and Freya.

They are more attractive than you and they know it.

While not an official member of the Nightmare Court, they might do the odd job for them every now and again. More of an independent contractor kind of deal. They despise the idea of working under anyone long term. It's simply beneath them.

Asphreah appreciates fine fancy clothes and things that look fashionable and expensive and they dress themselves like they want to be noticed. They wear lavish materials that they hate to dirty or stain and will consider murder over a spilled drink.

When contracted or asked for favors they will accept payment in the form of rare out of print books of poetry and they keep an extensive library of books and manuscripts worth a frankly ungodly amount of money.

They're most definitely a wine snob. They're a snob about most things actually. They hate having things chosen for them because other people are more likely to make shit choices. Unless, of course the choice being made is in their favor.

Absolutely the kind of person who flirts and convinces you to dump your partner to date them, only to dump you not long after because they only wanted to prove they could make you fall for them.

They would rather not perform strenuous tasks, preferring to convince other people to handle things for them.

All in all, not a very nice person, but certainly one that knows their own worth.