#all i do is go to work and dissacociate or cry because im ruining everything
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Celebrities use Tumblr as well.
Text
having to tell your partner that you can't move in together because actually you feel trapped and it might ruin the entire relationship is a total vibe killer tbh
#vent post#im losing my fucking mind i feel so much guilt#but the guilt would be worse if things go south and we sign a lease#i dont want to break up with them. to be clear. i want to not live together because its too fast and will destroy the relationship#at least im very sure it will#but i think the hurt and betrayal this is going to bring on from them is goung to make them leave#i cant even blame them.#i feel so awful.#my body thinks im disintigrating and ive stopped sleeping almost at all#all i do is go to work and dissacociate or cry because im ruining everything#i really love them. i just think theyre in love with a hologram of me in my 30s playing with our kid in the suburbs#i dont even want to live in the suburbs. ive never wanted to be a parent#having career based dreams makes me feel crazy. like im constantly killing myself to stay alive. but its who i am and its who im becoming#and i dont think they get it. i dont thjnk they ever will. and they dont have to .#but i want them for good. i just dont think theyre mine to keep#the guilt rests in my kidneys and trembles upwards towards my esophagus#im losing a battle i was never made for. im losing my love because i dont want to lose them#things are. awful. i hate being in my early 20s actually. i feel like an animated corpse being haunted by memories#of things that couldve been. that still could be.#im a shell of who i was. i just want to stop gazing in the fun house mirror looking for who i am. i thought i had me. i thiught i knew.#mace chats
0 notes