#thing is too its like its not about preferences here we all have them yea and like yea theres some

[magnoliamyrrh]

god its 2023 can people please stop being fucking weird about interracial relationships. so much of it is like either fetishization of ppl in them or its like,,,, dude it sounds like good old racism just it seems ppl have found more socially acceptable and progressive ways to say it. ppl will rly see intraracial relationships which rly seem just like nice, loving, caring and respectful! and not weird and just two ppl vibing and start saying wack shit like ohh youre diluting the blood youre betraying your own kind youre this and that like......... ... i dont care to me yall sound so much like were living in the fucking 50s - 70s and youre not saying it as a joke but seriously. weve gone fucking backwards in time and should probably remember having "pure blooded" kids or being "pure blooded" isnt something to be praised and as long as its consensual and loving having mixed kids or being in whatever relationship is just fine and if anything 💀 we should probably remember that genuine love between ppl who werent "allowed" to do so has historically in many different places been a sign of ppl actually not being racist and believing in the bullshit of the times

[kkpaaw]

Jay as a Animal Crossing character!

I'm back at it again with the bullshit. turning the ninja into random stuff and this time its Animal Crossing characters!

Here we have Jay who is a Special Villager, all the ninja will be, so he's not one you can invite to live on your island, but he does have some use that I thought waaaaaaay to long and hard about.

His species is a dog but since he's a special villager I didn't have him follow the dog villager mold. He's wearing a simplified version of the outfit I throw him in usually and the light bolt just shows his connection to his og total of ninja of lightning even if in ac he was never one.

His left eye is cloudy blue with a (X) to show his blindness!

Now let's talk about his purpose

_____

- Oh hi! Nice to meet you! My name is Jay and I couldn't help but noticed the nice furniture you have around here! It's so nice and inspiring! You know? I make furniture too! But I make it using trash!

Hey don't give me that look! Trash can be very helpful as I'm sure you have seen with the few recipies i see you have! People are so careless with their trash and don't think about the endless possibilities with it! Well not me! My ma and pa taught me that anything can be put to use.

I used to doubt that too ya know. I mean trash?! That stuff should be thrown away yea. I would know I lived in a junkyard heh. But my pa used the trash In that place to make so many cool things and proved to me that you don't need fancy new tech wear to make cool things! With only a few pieces of trash you can make nearly anything!

....

Heh sorry i got carried away.. As you can see I'm a bit of a yapper. Kai tends to say i talk too much but bah what does he know! Zane says he likes my chatter! And besides, he can be as much of a chatter box as I can especially when he talks about himself!

Anyway, back on topic, I make things using trash. So if you have any trash on you I'll buy it off you! Orrr you can commission me to make you some furniture too! For a small price of course.~"

- Jay, Animal Crossing New Horizons

_______

Jay can be found wandering around your island admiring any furniture u have placed down or architecture. If u approach him he'll start his chatter.

He'll buy any item deemed as trash in the game (old tires, boots, cans) for about 200 bells each. So u can make slightly more money selling your trash to him over nooks cranny.

OR

You can commission him to turn them into actual furniture, and send them to you via mail that you can then use!

And I'm not talking just the furniture you can already craft with trash In the game I'm talking other types of furniture outside of that! The amount of items he'll send you depends on the amount of trash u give him and he will ask you for any preferences to furniture just so u have a higher likely of getting an item you'll actually use.

He'll need 3 pieces of trash per one item and it doesn't matter which piece of trash u can mix and match em. To get the max amount of items which is 5 u need to give him 15 pieces of trash.

He will then deliver them to you once per day starting the very next day

So he's a good way to get extra items as well as a way to reuse your trash in a way that will be more beneficial to you!

----

He will show up anywhere from once a month to 4 times in a month, but never more than once a week

All the ninja in ac work as a unit and as such are associated with eachtoher and will talk about another when they visit

Jay is always the first one to show up, as he's the one to talk the others into visiting.

He will mention one or two of the other ninja randomly in his chatter, which will give u a hint as to which of them will show up next month. Each ninja will show up in a given month and which ninja is next will be randomized, but your hint will always be between which ninja is mentioned by whoever has visited you. It will never repeat until all the ninja have visited you in which case its then randomized who shows up next.

____

I put too much thought into this plz save me

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: Miraculous World: London, At the Edge of Time

(Spoilers for those that havent seen it. and yes this will be my sort of Live reaction, with my thoughts at the end)

-Okay so Nooroo be sad and trying to appeal to this person's morality.

-Okay so I was wrong about them being Adrien, but they are... Blond Lila?

-Okay, so She was actually BOTH akumatized Villains. Not gonna lie, That is so expected I assumed one of them would be adrien. Damn

-Intro be dope though

-So they are playing some weird variant of chess.

-If I was kid Alix, Id be salty, I would never. win since the other versions of me KNOW all my moves.

-OH DAMN GRANNY BUNNYX! 70, damn she looks good for 70

-Oh they be fading, and they arent even phased. Because they know what will happen. Wow... kind of takes the drama out of this

-Oh cool, recap

-They dont even bother saying he was originally called monarch.

-Alix is so valid for that comment about them kissing

-"Gabriel makes his wish, history is still on course." Yep they are playing the Miguel O' Hara is right canon event bit unironically.

-Portals start vanishing. But the drama is gone because YOU KNOW Alix will fix it

-Oh there is a depressed Bugnoire. Confirmed that merge miraculous can still use powerups.

-She goes to London. Damn this is depressing, and sterile

-Bugnoire casual destroys the cell to free Kagami made me chuckle

-Marinette reflecting on what happened. talking with Gabriel

-"Adrien cannot find out."

TO THE SURPISE OF F***ING NOBODY!

-Kagami calling her out but then saying she will oblige her

-Oh they actually talking about Tomoe.

-Kagami wants to try and talk to her mom, which Marinette honors because... at least she isnt being a hypocrite here.

-Okay I know I am a bit nasty, but I do appreciate the time the scene is taking. its really building up the tension to this.

-Gorilla out of nowhere just like "Let me unlock it first." that made me chuckle

-I feel VERY CONFLICTED. Because on one hand, LOVE THE ANGST. Absolutely just perfection. Really milk that drama. But f*** do I HATE how this came about.

-Oh the Lie is actually pretty convincing. Oh look at how absolutely distraught Adrien is. Boy is f***ing wrecked.

-OH DAMN ADRIEN OUTBURST

-That Adrigami comforting.

-I want to love this absolutely heartshattering scene. Its beautiful, its angsty.

-Okay, you know what. I will hold my reservations until I actually finish.

-You can just see the absolute distraught face of Marinette. SHE HATES THIS. SHE ABSOLUTELY HATES WHAT SHE IS DOING. OH THAT IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL ANGSTY THING. Its slowly warming me up a bit, the finale was missing this.

-Oh damn, Nathalie knows Marinette is Ladybug. WELP, just another person that knows thats not Adrien.

-Oh damn, Ladybug monologue, while she destroys everything related to Hawkmoth, monarch, and his scheme. In a way, becoming his greatest accomplice.

-The press conference is full of a lies. Wow its starting to feel just like real life.

-Nathalie comforting Adrien, such a soft scene. Meanwhile Tomoe and Kagami are cold to eachother

-Marinette is at the train station

-That adrinette hug.... yea, thats the good stuff

-Im happy the kwami are safe.

-There is a lot of not talking in these moments. letting the music set the tone.

-And day becomes night, Marinette sleeps with Plagg and tikki by her side. Now she asks if what she did was right

-Is there a kwami of truth? Because if there is, I wonder what animal it is

-WAIT, She lied to Alya too? THAT I didnt see coming.

-And right there, we see when the special ACTUALLY Starts

-Okay the vest is funny

-The burrow has a slowed down time aspect, makes sense because of the whole time travel thing.

-So they have to take Marinette's Miraculous from when she renounced it. For a split second, I thought she was talking about the Kwami choice, but it was actually Origins. Which makes more sense

-So thats why Tikki becomes so sure of Marinette.

-She changed colors? Why thoough?! Granted I do prefer it to the original costume, but not as much as the lucky charm form.

-"There is no such thing as ghost." GHOST FORCE WOULD LIKE A WORD MARINETTe

-Basically she can phase through things like Kitty pride. And be invisible. So like a Ghost.

-Ladybug verses the Ghost akuma

-She cant touch them

-Calender. it means you have to go to a different time

-This special really likes hammering in that Ladybug's lie is wrong, yet at the same time NO ONE is offering her an alternative. So it feels like the special isnt really committing to the "Marinette is right" or "Marinette is wrong."

-"Sorry, you cant take the butterfly miraculous cause Canon Event." Yea this is getting repetitive

-So Time Stalker was there. Saw Ladybug was Marinette

-Yea, not gonna lie. All the clips showing the finale only remind me how much I HATE it.

-Gabriel f***s off to leave his son an orphan but gets to be with his wife. Thus getitng his wish forever and now Ladybug has to basically let it happen because F*** her in particular

-NATHALIE WITH A CROSSBOW!

-Nathalie telling the small crying teen who was willing to sacrifice HERSELF, that she didnt have to go that far. People often forget Marinette is a TEENAGER going through s***. Nathalie should have stopped Gabriel earlier

-That aside, all this special reinforced is that Gabriel is an idiot. He really could have won so much easier

-And thats how Time stalker found out

-Marinette figured out they were the same person, clever writing

-Super ghost and Super Spy dumb names

-I love Barkk. She is like "Dont be so sure"

-Man this special really retreads a lot of old ground a lot

-Miraculous Bug Noire

-So Bugnoire saying until they get the butterfly miraculous back. She cant tell him the truth.... Yea no. Thats dumb. I still find this very dumb.

-But the whole mini portal thing was funny to me. Why not just make a portal under them to pull them in.

-There we go.

-SHE HAS MORE OF THEM? Okay thats pretty clever

-"He or She?" if it wasnt present bunnyx Id assume she knew.

-The explanation on why Nathalie cant tell Adrien is also bulls**t.

-A wiseman once said, the "Truth hurts but once, but a Lie will ache forever" Marinette is basically setting up for worse

-I will say, the Choreography in these encounters is pretty cool.

-Okay the plan was clever

-Ladybug is apparently REALLY good at forging signatures. Are we sure Marinette isnt a future villainess?

-The Ladybug monologue with that funky beat was fun

-HEHEHE Lila Temper tantrum

-Poor Nooroo

-Well the plan worked.

-Bunnyx not being sad about having to stay as Bunnyx.

-Wait, so how come they can go ride dinosaurs if they cant mess with time?

-So bunnyx says "Hey its cool to lie as long as you own up to it eventually." Thats a fucking terrible lesson for kids to learn. I hope everyone reading this knows that

-Wait... is Chronobug dead?

-Nope, she is still alive

-Plagg is confused. But Tikki knows. Okay thats cute

-Marinette fixing the miraculous and upgrading them. Thats neat

-Marinette's logic for spreading it out makes sense at least. And the new hawkmoth doesnt know the heroes identities. Tomoe might though

-Okay, Plagg is cute.

-Ah yes, the Ladynoir

-There is that Hug. Thats that good stuff

-Chat noir's guilt and Ladybug's Guilt

-And then Lila's monologue at the end

___________________________________________________________

Now... How do I feel about this special?

I am torn.

On one hand, it did show that Marinette is feeling the effects of the secrets she is keeping. She is clearly feeling guilty about it. And the special does a LOT to justify what she is doing and never outright gives her a pass for it. I also LOVED that sweet succulent ANGST. Good stuff.

on the Other hand, some of the explanations are not good (like Adrien not finding out until after the butterfly is found? It makes no sense), and it hand waves a LOT of things. Not to mention, it does basically have Marinette, Kagami and Nathalie in this secret Cabal of secrets. Tomoe is basically not held accountable. And the whole Canon event thing and time travel basically means there is never any real danger. So it really takes the wind out of this.

But BUT, This special does at least imply that this secret will be the cause of tension, now the question is IF the show will actually deliver on this angst.

I dont hate this special as it does illuminate a LOT of what was missing from the Season 5 finale... that being said, I still hate the season 5 finale.

so its 6/10.

[annimator]

I need to be sedated

(I JUST WATCHED TOMJAKE EP 4 AND I HAVE THINGS TO SAY, ITS ALL UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE SPOILERS)

• Lucia’s rewatching All Stars lmao. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE QUEEN YOU LIKE REALITY TV AND CARE ALOT FOR TOM AS A FRIEND

• Tom’s quitting the police force, good for him. I’m saying this as a chaotic neutral-ish person

• YEA SHE ADMITTED IT, SHE CARES :D

• Intro time- OH OK NOW YOU SWITCH BACK TO THE ORIGINAL VERSION OF THE INTRO THAT WAS POSTED BY ITSELF, ALRIGHTY THEN

• Aw they’re setting up for Miriam’s party :D

• I almost thought Jake and Ellie were gonna get into another argument lmao. It’s nice to see them on good terms

• GABBY LOOKS SO HAPPY WITH THE PIÑATA I LOVE HER

• yoooo Ashley cameo :D

• OMG AIDEN’S HERE I LOVE HIM SMMMM

• “Aw, no James?” “He’s busy being a famous actor.” My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined-

• oh cool Lake’s here too. Congrats on getting a gf queen

• ngl I prefer Tom with a hoodie on. Anyways YEA MORE TOM & GABBY SCENES

• I still cannot get over the fact that Shawn and Alec have the same va lol

• I understand where Jake’s coming from tbh. I’d be pissed off if I had a sibling that wasn’t there when I needed him even though I’m an only child

• Aw Tom and Gabby are singing piggyback together in the car :D

• HELL YEA TOM’S GOING TO THERAPY

• “Yay! And you always have us to help you heal!” Gabby ily

• “Can you believe some people walk on the sidewalk? The audacity!” Lmao

• Jake and Shawn’s convo was rlly sweet :D I’m not gonna copy paste the whole thing cuz am lazy, but Shawn saying that their Grandma would be proud is making me sad :’)

• Event planning being Jake’s career is somewhat surprising to me. Wonder how twt’s thinking about it…

• AW TOM WENT BACK TO TIPISKAW TO GET THE HEART HE CARVED INTO THE CABINS THAT ADORABLE

• Gabby is truly the ideal homie

• “Between us, you’re my favourite Disventure Camp contestant!” Real take about Aiden right here /j

• NAH DID MIRIAM HAVE TO FAKE HAVING A HEART ATTACK AGAIN.

• “I couldn’t imagine a better man to be my brother’s other half!” I love Shawn being so acceptive of Tom :D

• Why did Tom have to get so defensive over Jake lmao. Did u rlly have to say that to his brother lol

• Annnnnd Gabbs broke the carved heart lol

• “It’s not the gift, it’s the gesture.” REAL

• YEAH ANOTHER KISS LETS GOOOO

• Oh damn, they’re… doing stuff (yeah I can’t get over that line from All Stars Ep19 lol)

• I’m getting too lazy to type stuff but that ending montage was rlly wholesome.

• AWWW TOM BROUGHT JAKE TO THE PLACED THEY HAD THEIR FIRST KISS THATS FUCKING WHOLESOME BRO

• I love seeing Gabby as Tom’s wingwoman. Queen shit right there

• JAKE GLUED THE CARVED HEART BACK TOGETHER THAT ADORABLEEEEE

• “Despite everything, we weathered the storm.” “And scars, inside and out. Makes it more beautiful.” I want to cry, but I’m in a public place rn

• “Anything big coming up?” “Well, I was thinking maybe… the next wedding I planned… was ours.” NO WAY. NO FUCKING WAY DID JAKE BASICALLY JUST PROPOSE TO TOM OMG I FUCKING WINNNN

• IT ENDS ON A SHOT OF THE CARVED HEART OH MY FUCKING GODAPXJDNIWIQQ

• OK OVERALL, GREAT EPISODE, 10/10, IM STILL KINDA SAD THAT JAMES DIDNT MAKE AN APPEARANCE BUT THAT PROPOSAL MADE UP FOR IT

• Bro im so hyped for Carnival of Chaos coming out by the end of this month. ALSO I WANT A SEASON TWO, PLEASE JARED I WANT TO SEE A DOUBLE DATE BETWEEN TOMJAKE AND JAIDEN-

[moenxs]

I hope you feel better! What sort of things do you feel are rampant in the rpc? Do you think they are things that are easy to improve?

oooh boy now THIS is definitely going under a read more because the yapping i'm about to do....

Let me start off by saying a lot of things "wrong" with the rpc are easy to improve as a whole but much harder to improve individually since really a lot of this comes down to individuals and a "vocal minority" in a sense.

I think there's a lot of underlying elitism as a whole in the rpc whether its purposeful or just a byproduct of existing on this site. And a lot of this also results in a very "cliquey" vibe that stretches across every fandom. Now I'm not saying that having a friend group that you tend to prioritize a bit is bad, we all do that, i mean going out of your way to exclude people that try to extend a conversation of interacting, especially if you happen to be mutuals with them.

And I get that OOC interactions can be a little rough especially when social interactions can be hard for people, but if that's the case, then why be mutuals with someone if you're either not going to reach out first, OR interact with them at all if THEY reach out first? Idk that whole thing is just frustrating to me and I think that it's something that definitely needs to be improved on as a whole.

This next thing is just a little more personal and to some people i might sound like I'm whining but it's genuinely an issue with roleplay as a whole and not really just on tumblr.

The topic of a strange aversion to female characters, and OCs. And particularly female OCs. I talked about this with a mutual briefly earlier and they helped me feel a little better about speaking up on this. To be blunt, it still sucks to be an OC writer on tumblr, especially if it happens to be a female OC (don't even get me started on female CANONS though lmao that's a whole other convo-) and especially if you're not really "popular" within the rpc already.

I quite literally have one of my blogs on a momentary hiatus because he was getting a little too much attention. Meanwhile it was nearly crickets here at one point, and I won't lie it does hurt quite a bit. But I'm not going to blame everyone entirely, people have their preferences and that's understandable.

As someone who is a cis woman, i started out on tumblr writing female OCs, and slowly when i found myself getting more comfortable writing male OCs I also found myself getting more consistent interactions. It felt like people were actually getting excited to write with me. And younger me was loving it! I didn't even realize anything was weird as I eventually transitioned over to just writing male OCs entirely for a time. Female OCs still existed on my blog but they were collecting dust.

It wasn't until recently (post 2020 ish) that i really dived back into my female characters and it was around that that I had started to notice the trend as well. I dedicated myself to female OCs in particular and I noticed a pretty steep decline in interactions as a whole. Yea, maybe you can say it was a coincidence until I started writing a male OC again and things steadily increased once again.

Also, I dearly love interacting with other people's OCs, wholeheartedly so. But who wouldn't want to interact with a canon character as well? Other OC writers are extremely welcoming, I've rarely found someone that actively writes OCs more often than not that's not sweet as can be (there are exceptions but i won't get into that).

I've noticed though that (not all obviously but it's definitely a chunk) a decent bit of the elitism that I mentioned before comes from these canon writers. The ones that are "popular" and are actually well known in the space, while most can be just as nice, there's that "vocal minority" that can easily leave quite a bad taste in your mouth.

Like i said, it's a pretty vocal minority. Most if not all of my mutuals that write canons are absolutely not in this category. But still there are some that-

this is going to sound so bad but i promise it's not it's just that i cannot find a better way to word this-

Make me as an OC writer, idk, feel lesser? Like if i'm not one of their close friends that also happens to write an OC it feels more like it's simply an obligation to try and write with me than it is a mutual "excitement" i guess.

I don't know, it's just that even with some mutuals, there's a lack of mutuality and sometimes it makes me wonder why we're even mutuals. Maybe that's just a bit of insecurity talking but honestly at this point it's just incredibly frustrating than it is disheartening anymore.

Like, I do not care how slow you are as a writer, I would just be happy with some sort of reciprocation OOC???? I don't know if that sounds entitled, I know people have busy lives but to see people boasting about ships or plots that theyve been talking about with other people when I've been trying actively to plot with them or even just converse with them is also now more frustrating than disheartening these days lol.

ANYWAYS HAHA

yea that sure was a yap session and a half, I don't know how many of you will make it to this point but if you did thank you so much for hearing me out and hopefully I didn't really offend anyone that badly at any point LMAO

[brightlotusmoon]

Hey there, big fan of you and your fanfiction and I just need to get this out and “vent” about this to someone, and I feel like you may be the only one to understand and validate this opinion lol.

In the tmnt 2003 series it just ANNOYS ME so much on an unreal level how Mikey gets treated by the show writers. One that really annoys me is just SAINW and the good genes arc. Good genes for obvious reasons, we were robbed basically of that whole thing by them changing Donnie to be mutated instead of Mikey, but I never saw anyone mention SAINW’s potential before.

I CONSTANTLY see the statement “Mikey adds nothing to the team” and its just because THEY NEVER SHOW IT!! THATS WHY!! His role is supposed to be the heart and the glue that keeps the team together. The one that brings light in their dark ass lives. They had the perfect opportunity to do this in either good genes or SAINW and they blew it. Everyone knows Donnie has a role to play, so why not let Mikey be teleported to that future instead and have him be the one out of time. It just makes so much more sense to have that, to actually SHOW people the role he plays in the team and family. He could still even be a badass in that episode if they wanted, but just let him and his audience have that moment of realization in his importance. It could have worked for Good Genes too!! I just dont get why they barely let Mikey do shit or have any angst moments when others get plenty of it. And yea I know Laird was in control of the whole thing and Don was his favorite so that obviously means angst nepotism but still. Its just frustrating to see how people wont look at the bigger picture to see how important he really is. Its just UGRHHHH!!! Its even worse that 2003 is most peoples goto for the franchise whenever 2003 themselves rarely did Mikey any justice!! Its like I have to resort to fanfiction instead of canon because they actually just GET IT more than the writers do. Like I feel like Im going insane on this topic to the point Im ranting to my therapist about it because of my ocd compulsions and reassurance seeking includes this shit.

Im really hoping mutant mayhem will be different since Seth Rogen’s favorite is Mikey, so hopefully he will actually do him justice; with his works being Invincible and The Boys, im having high hopes for the writing capabilities of him. Here is to hoping if that it is the case then MM becomes the status quo.

Sorry for the rant, this has been on my mind for fucking ages and I feel you might be the only other one that I can say this to lol.

Awww, you remind me a little of me back in 2016 when I started this Tumblr as a literal storage place for ideas on exploring Mikey's psychology.

We DO have to resort to fanfiction! It's actually been that way since the late 90s. Uh. I helped start it. Got diagnosed with ADHD, looked at 2003 Mikey, went "guys hear me out" later got diagnosed autistic with the help of the people who coined neurodivergence, looked at 2003 Mikey and his brothers again, went "Sure, it's all of them!" and sat on it for years before writing it here.

In that time, there cropped up some writers who just really preferred to play with his silly side more than the rest of him, especially after 2012. I think we're going to cycle around to more 03 fanfiction pointing out Mikey's unspoken skills beyond mouthy, crafty, irritating, or weird.

That reminds me, I have a chapter to write from Leo's viewpoint on that.

[back-alley-bardblog]

“Yo!! DUDE STOP RIGHT THERE i gotta talk at you ok i gotta put you onto some shit.” The very loud imp produces a crumpled scrap of paper from his pocket before checking it over, he then pulls out a chewed up pencil from another pocket and crosses it off

“Hook them in… check! Man I’m already nailing this Claire's gonna be so damn proud. ANYWAY hi. Hello. My name’s Tobias but please call me Tobi WITH AN I i know its weird but it makes me happy uh- uhm.”

Tobi checks another, different scrap of paper

“Oh yea… If you’re seeing this post then HOPEFULLY you’re the kind of person that likes it when dudes are silly on the internet. This blog is kind of that? I’m part of this band and we’re trying to get noticed by people n stuff so we were told to maybe make some kind of account somewhere and I suggested this!”

As he throws his hands into the air, Tobi flings the paper scraps as if they were confetti, seemingly without noticing

“Basically uh we’re just gonna hang out here and you, people of the internet, can actually get to know us n stuff.. Just me for now though, the rest of the guys aren’t really into this kind of thing. I’m sure I can sneak you all some peeks of them though! wink”

That wink was spoken. It's not clear if he actually did wink considering his choice of hairstyle

“BUT I’m sure that’s not too much of a tragedy. I’m pretty endearing when I need to be.”

…

“Ok that's all I got ta say, hope to talk more soon, bye!!!”

(vv psst, under here! vv)

Heyyyy it's me, the actual owner of this blog and creator of back alley bard (you can call me box :3 I use he/they pronouns with a HUGE preference for the he as opposed to the they) here to drop some INFORMATION and GROUND RULES for this blog. 

I'm gonna start with some boundaries/rules first though. Just to get them out the way.

Any attempts to start NSFW rp will be ignored, this blog’s lore is that it's a band’s social media so none of the lads will be having e sex on main.. Or at all, really. Also it's just a boundary thing. Flirting is fine though by all means type the foulest thing you can in the inbox if it's for funny reasons, this blog is rated a solid 16+. Speaking of that

IF YOU ARE ANY YOUNGER THAN 16 PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS BLOG. The story this blog is based off is very mature in its content so it's more of a means to deter the hypothetical fanbase from being overrun with young kids than a “I FUCKING HATE LITTLE KIDS” thing. Nothing against you guys, I just don’t really wanna write something with sexuality as a relevant recurring thing with the knowledge it's mainly 13 year olds that’re gonna engage with it. Personal comfort, if anything.

Please don’t send asks that are fourth wall breaks. This is stuff like telling Tobi he isn’t real or trying to tell them that I exist and control what he says on here. I’ll just delete your ask and block you if you try sending anymore like that

Generally just don’t be a weirdo. No Zoos, Pedos, Proshippers or Hate Speech is allowed on this blog. Zero tolerance policy I will block you on SIGHT.

Don’t be rude if it takes a while to get a response, I have a life outside of this and am currently a student and will continue to be one for the next 4 years or so. Basically don’t RUSH ME

If you have any meta questions like “oh how long have you had the boys” or “can i have a reference for tobi” please redirect them to either my art blog @unboxt (where i’m more likely to see it) or my main dump blog @basement-hobo 

DO NOT ADDRESS ME IN THE ASKS. I AM FUNCTIONALLY NOT HERE. I DO NOT EXIST ITS JUST TOBI

Ok that's all my boundaries/rules, onto the fun bit! Actual info on what this blog actually is and how it works.

As summarised by the bio back alley bard is a fictional (somewhat punk) indie rock band I created and are my ocs. They are not a real band and I have no plans to make them the next Gorillaz or Yaelokre - I do still plan to publish something big about them though!

This blog is an experimental side project to me for now so all asks are limited to just Tobi (he/they) BUT if I like doing this you guys unlock full band perms. Should mention though, this doesn’t mean I won’t show them or have tobi give any information about the band. Do with this what you will.

My main goal with this is to get people familiar with Back Alley Bard so that when I get around to really working on my goals for it I’ll have a substantial amount of people to back me up for it. Also because its a fun way to put a bit more meat on the bones of the lads (and practice drawing them)

That's basically it. Happy asking, folks!

[kannra21]

Gege is so good when it comes to introducing female characters imo. Yuki, maki, nobara, mai, mei mei, utahime. and ofc, shoko! all baddies who are simply 10s. I love jjk women sm 💗The only problem is that he gives them a moment and then sidelines them without giving us much depth into their character.. shoko and utahime especially have huge potential and I really hope he gives us more insight before he decides to end the manga.

The sexualization too is not so bad (even though it exists). it is WAY better than these other mangakas who treat their female characters like doormats and objects to ogle at and something the fanboys can be creepy about. another plus point is how they are actual GROWN women and not these lolis/shotas or whatever pedophilic stuff mangakas draw for their hyper horny misogynistic incel audience.

Yes, Japan is indeed very creepy when it comes to these things (i have been there and trust me it is the worst). Those men need to be put behind bars and they're extremely weird in areas where women's rights are concerned. i understand why Japanese women dont wanna procreate with them anymore and the declining birth rates. i support it tbh. most of them have 0 respect towards us and only see us as baby making machines. if they want to get women, maybe they should start getting their shit together.

Yes it's probably Gege's marketing strategy to make his work more woman-friendly, something other mangaka failed to achieve (which explains why their works are not as successful bc women will refuse to read smtng they're not comfortable with).

Most women read shojo, bc woman leads are respected and loved. So Gege took this into account + he introduced handsome men who are also strong (Gojo prime example). When you combine all these ideas into one, add meaningful plot composition, deep lessons on life, tragedy, comedy, a lil bit or romance, you get what we call "woman's heaven" lol. As a woman, I prefer shōnen over shojo bc shōnen is not solely based on romance. Instead, you have world building with lil bit of romance here and there to make it sweet. And mby bc shojo men seem feminine to me while shōnen seem more masculine that's also why lol. But yea, I think Gege did a pretty good job. Jjk has a lot to offer to its diverse audience (even to LGBT community with Hakari and Kirara).

We need to understand that shōnen is created with men on mind, it's aimed at male audience. So logically speaking, women won't play a super large role. Despite that, Maki had a lot of shiny moments for a shōnen girl, which made me happy. I also hope that Utahime and Shoko will play some important role as well, especially towards the end bc the end of the manga is nearing.

And yes I hate lolis as well haha. Grown women for the win.

[inke-ri]

Okay I lied here are some more thoughts on the mlb movie including some actual criticism.

I was just listening to the soundtrack a little and I feel like? A lot of ~character~ is injected into the songs. I mean, it's a musical, it's how they work, characters burst into song when they cant hold back how they're feeling / what they're thinking anymore. But I feel like people who are calling the movie soulless must have just tuned the songs out when they came up, because without them yea, it kinda feels like its just going through the motions. But... It's a movie, so they cant have five million scenes of Mari being awkward, especially since they need her to outgrow it bc ~character development~ so these bits go into her intro song + her first outing as Ladybug. It's obviously stated in Chat's number that he was high off the freedom of being Chat Noir, which explains his cockier attitude towards Ladybug (which is? Not too unlike their dynamic in Origins pt 1 tbh, anyway).

(A detail I love is how in "You Are Ladybug", Marinette's whole point is that when things get rough she "makes excuses", which is a level of self awareness that I don't recall her having to that degree in the early show. At least in season 1, she'd always ALMOST do the things she wanted to, only to stop and second guess herself. I love the interpretation that it isnt just shyness or being frazzled and nervous in front of her crush, like the fandom interpreted, it's her ACTIVELY being aware that she's self sabotaging bc she's afraid of taking chances. It's such a fun little spin on her actions in the show. )

Like. It's all there??? It's in the movie???

Anyway.

Wanna see an ACTUAL criticism? What some songs imply just isn't represented as well visually, which makes the movie more confusing. Most notably Marinette's Sad Song after Adrien turns her down. If you actually listen to what she's saying, it feels like they skipped a few scenes, lol.

Like, listen to it, it's like she's saying she - as Marinette - isn't enough, just being the silly shy girl that she is. This is right after Chat confesses to be falling for Ladybug, but Adrien turns Marinette down. The song is implying that Mari went from not thinking she could be Ladybug to gaining confidence in herself (she's kicking butt as Ladybug, she's overcoming her shyness/awkwardness and making friends, she even managed to ask Adrien out, so its not like the old fic trope in which Mari always had a low self esteem and always considered LB to be perfect, she's getting better as a whole), to only now second guessing it all. Is only Ladybug, her more heroic, responsible side, the one people (boys, "both" of them) like? Is being "just" her softer, klutzier, dreamer self not enough?

It ofc leads into the final fight against Hawkmoth, and how Marinette is so down about it that she now thinks she NEEDS Ladybug to win. She still tries to save Adrien on her own with a last nudge from Tikki, and tho it isn't enough to keep Hawkmoth from getting to him, it's enough for herself. Like, she very clearly Has An Arc in the movie.

The thing is, it can get a little fuzzy because we don't really see this contrast between Ladybug's self assuredness and the parts of herself that Marinette prefers to identify with as a civilian, not if you haven't watched the show. The montage just skips throughout their "pound it!"s without lingering on her resourcefulness, her confidence, and how different Ladybug feels from Marinette. Like, it's there, but only superficially, and its hard to notice it unless you have the backstory from the show to back you up.

It's the same issue with Adrien's feelings towards Marinette, we know from the montage that Mari is special to him, we only ever see him open himself up about Emilie to her (when Nino is Right There and actively letting him know he can talk to him if Adrien wants to), and the end credits song (that seems to match the reveal in both melody and lyrics) basically states what we do know - that Mari is aware that Adrien is Chat Noir and was waiting for the right moment to tell him - and what we DON'T, which is that Adrien always felt a degree of familiarity and a special bond with Mari, possibly bc subconsciously he always knew (which actually calls back surprisingly well to the cut Wall Between Us number and how that poor catboy was SO confused). So he was and wasn't surprised at the same time bc OF COURSE it was her, of course the girls who held his heart on both sides of the mask were one and the same. Ergo the smiling through the tears.

But we don't SEE that, unless you take what the music numbers are saying AND you have watched the first season of the show (I am once again reminding folks that the movie was conceptualized during the season 1 hiatus). You don't SEE Adrien go from a slightly weirded out stranger to someone fondly amused at Mari's antics to blushing and shuffling awkwardly when their fingers touch when playing videogames. You don't see how LB takes control and appears to be a natural leader, heck, the movie does a better job with Ladynoir but it STILL doesn't match how it feels to watch it knowing things like Chat straight up being willing to die for Ladybug in Timebreaker or knowing they kiss once in Dark Cupid or how Chat keeps himself from peeking at who LB is in Lady Wifi. You don't have the Adrienette side of the square to explain some of those lyrics away and the Ladynoir Song(tm) or even the sparring scene, with all the implicit trust they gives us, don't hit as hard as they do with the proper context.

Some of it (Ladynoir) can be excused by it being a movie and having a much more limited runtime to tell a story, but others (Adrienette) just NEEDED a little bit more. Even if it was just one more scene showing how their civilian relationship has ALSO evolved.

That said, it makes me wonder, it's been ages but I loosely remember being told that the movie was supposed to show the origins of Ladybug and Chat Noir back in the day. I wonder if the things we see changed between series and movie (the power ups for instance, details like Nino always having a crush on Alya) weren't originally, and the movie was originally going to be released as both the beginning and the end of season 1, showing how LB and Chat met, revealing Gabriel as Hawkmoth, and concluding the love square shenanigans and giving us a reveal before setting up a season 2 in that post The End scene.

Mostly bc I've been watching season 1 again and if you take Origins out and ignore the smaller incongruencies as just edits reworked into the base story later in order separate the movieverse from the showverse as a way for Zag and Astruc to find a compromise... I'm using an old friend's personalized episode timeline instead of just the release/production order and you can SEE the development there. It's subtle but it exists, and it works surprisingly well.

If you look at it this way, the movie wouldn't need to show things like Adrien's modeling career and Gabriel's micromanaging (which in season 1 STILL works with movie Gabriel, especially knowing he gets obsessed to the point of neglecting his personal hygiene. He's distant and cold but not aggressive), so the show could explore that. The show could set up Adrienette and Ladynoir (and the other subtler sides of the square)'s base dynamics so the movie could do its thing by flipping the love square (had it had more time to properly show the Adrienette side. as I said above, its an actual issue with the movie) and resolving the tension. Even the earphones symbolism would hit harder knowing Adrien went through a whole season without them, only to falter and fall back into using them after LB rejects him.

Idk, I'm too fond of Origins to ever delete it from my heart, but I think its a fascinating concept to think about.

[candiedapplez]

I ask you all of the questions from that one reblog. Good luck/nf/j

Omg ok this will be a while then tehehehehehehhe im not complaining though!!!! Heres the questions so u can look at the questions and the answers!

1.this one is OBVIOUS!!! A-90 and Opheebop!!! DUUUUUUUH!

2.lighter. Ive never used a match before

3.ew no!!! I don't want buggies crawling in my room while im sleeping!!!! However i have before!

4. Aaaaaa ive never really gotten into that stuff so i cant really give an answer-

5. A really dark brown!!

6. Oops i did that again???

7. Well idk ive used both and they are both work really well! however i do think scrunchies are safer for your hair, i use normal hair ties more often because scrunchies are more bulky and yeah i dont prefer that, but both are great!

8. Six. I have six.

9.NONE! COFFE IS GROSS BLEEEEEEGH!!

10. Ofc!!

11. Does drawing count?

12. Good day!!!!! I havent cried yet so-

13. Not too long ago, like an hour ago actually. I had pizza! (Incase u were wondering)

14. HELL YEAH!!!

15. Nope and i never want to be 😗

16. NoooooOoOoO-

17. Nope i have perfect vision muah

18. I DONT WANNA SAY TEHE! (Sry)

19. Yea ofc!!! But they probably wont turn out good…

20. Soda…. Ive never seen or heard anyone say pop before….

21. Plushies!!!! I have a unicorn plush my old friend (we dont talk anymore since she moved) gave me for my 7th bday!!!! Yes i remember when, yes i still have it! And its in perferct condition!!! Also there was this one kid who ig had a crush on my and he gave me a basket full of stuff for valentines day and i still have said basket-

22. I have no clue what this means? I guess sensitive?

23. Love it!!!!!

24. Eating :] (and joking abt pushing each other off probably/JOKE/JOKE/JOKE/JOKE)

25. Aaaa i use all of them but i use lotion most so ig lotion?

26. Idk what to say for this one aaaaaagh

27. Like 5 i think? Ive been getting better with my sleep time!!!!

28. Not anymore, our school last year said we could take them off, however i was SO insecure about my face (still am, but not as much as before) so i would wear it every single day. If i showed up to school without one people got surprised. I stopped wearing them this year, however.

29. Hot????

30. THE FUCKING WATER BOTTLES!!!!

31. Theres a lot, i dont wanna get into it 😵‍💫

32…… is that a thing? People have favorite towels??

33. Hm my school took us on a field trip to a high school so we can see animals if that counts… (i have pictures btw if u wanna see them! We saw pigs, sheep, cows and bunny! I didnt take pic of bunny tho 😢)

34. LITERALLY EVERY SIX THE MUSICAL SONG HOLY SHIT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS (the only ones i might mess up on are aywd and idnyl bc aywd is long and i dont listen to idnyl often)

35. Pst!!

36. Only once! My username used to have a 0 between the words (Candied0applez) but i changed it bc it made it sound like i candied no apples… but i was originally going to be called caramelapplez but i thought candied sounded better heheh)

37. The friend i mentioned earlier i met first day of kindergarden, her name is Alana, and this other girl Maya i met before kinder! We met eachother at a park and when we walked home we found out we were neighbors so we instantly became besties! (We still are to this day but she lives 30 mins away so i dont see her often-(

38. All…?

39. Sometimes!

40. Ice cream!!!

41. Empty. Coffee is gross

42. Hahahah yt, roblox and occasionally twitter!

43. HAND IT OVER BITCH!

44. Myself/j fucking donald trump 🤮👈🖕

45. NO ☺️

46. Oh god i dont watch any 🫢

47. | v

this actually was to the other girl i mentioned earlier! Maya! I found baby pictures of us when we were in 2nd-3rd grade and i showed her today!!!

48. Never and i dont plan on ever!

49. Never tried

50. GO AHEAD I GET SO EXCITED WHEN IM TAGGED IN SOMETHING AAAAA!

omg that took forever!!! Gosh i dont mind though!!! These were fun questions! Aaaaaaaa i enjoyed that tyty!

[mr-knife-guy]

Hey you can call me Knife, this is my ii sideblog and also osc fictionkin sideblog. Might be awkward im bad at peopleing.

Update: this is mostly just an ii blog now HELP

DO NOT INTERACT: Knife doubles (love you guys but doubles of me make me uncomfortable), Proshippers, NSFW, Basic DNI (pedos n junk), anti-fictionkin, otherkin, etc

YES INTERACT: Mediamates / canonmates and stuff u guys are AWESOME. Idc who you are btw im cool with everybody,, taco kins, trophy kins, etc dont feel bad interacting love u guys /p /silly

If you follow me I probably won't follow back cause this isnt my main blog but we can be mutuals in my heart ok. If i do follow back itll be like semi-obvious its me tho i ThHINK?? /j

info about kins and stuff under cut

LIST OF OSC KINS :

⭐️ KNIFE [inanimate insanity]

RAZOR [objectified]

DYNAMITE [objectified]

AIRY [hfjONE]

NINE [xfohv / bfb]

BOOK [bfb]

note: list is in order from most to least connected- knife basically overthrown all of them though I'm most connected to him. doubles are welcome for the other ones (except razor) it's just preferred you don't talk about it a bunch

specific kin info :

Knife things :

I'm pretty sure I ended up real close to Microphone and we were good friends (maybe even qpps but IM NOT SURE MAN!!?????????), nothing romantic there at all though im p sure? I like the ship tho

Knifecase is real

Was also good friends with pickle,, maybe also dating but idk. I like knickle tho (: I'm a huge multishipper

Other than that canon-compliant I'm pretty sure.

I miss mediamates lots so if you kin any of them I'd love to be invisible mutuals because I CANT FOLLOW BACK ON TH-

My highest kin here- usually in a shift.

Airy things :

Uhhh I get memories sometimes and I miss the cabin,, I do feel bad for everything too.

I'm pretty sure I died and then managed to make my way back to my world and me and Liam were frrriiiiennddss? I don't know how he saw it but we ended up bonding a bit and stuff.

canon-compliant aside from that- I tend to use lowercase and stuff when I'm in shifts of him. i also tend to miss liam a lot but I totally understand you liams who aren't comfortable or have very negative views of me and that's ok <3 im sorry for what happened

Razor & Dynamite are canon compliant! Nothing aside from that really

Others :

Not much else I don't get memories or feels like this for the others !

that's all I think yea thanks for reading

dividers from here and here

[celestialprayer]

SHIPPING INFO. answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

what’s your OTP for your muse(s)?

bit of a loaded question for a character canon used as sparingly as it did. the closest I can say is Annelie, since she's one of the only non-main cast members (who all have their own Situations going on) Zena has any noteworthy interactions with - and I mean that in a "they shared two Dragalia Life (the gag series) comics together and Annelie was Generally Supportive and Nice in her direction" sort of way.

ofc its a bit irrelevant to the conversation since we're way past the point where dragalia character rpers are freely stumbled on, but! yea

what are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

A lot of things! I like to have fun and variety, though I'll admit I'm a bit more of a basic bitch than a lot of RPers - I prefer my ships healthy, or at least to get there with time, thanks! Also no NSFW, very ace writer here, though I can skirt the line with fades, if it fits the mood

how large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

A bit dependent on context, imo. Generally 10 years feels like a Lot to think about in a vaccuum, but there've been Individual Instances with more of a gap than that that I can vibe with. That said, Zena's rather a rather young adult physically, and I'd be reluctant to go too much older with her, so there probably won't be too much messing with that on my end.

are you selective when shipping?

not very? obviously I like chemistry and a meaningful bond to be at least implied before I go all in on it, but I'm pretty loose when it comes to what that really entails. I just like having my characters form close and loving bonds of all kinds, and have their base want for closeness met.

how far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

If there's even a sniff of possibility for the bedroom getting involved, fades/cuts will happen at most once the bed's reached, if I even wrote something that goes that far.

does one have to ask to ship with you?

it'd be nice! i don't mind playing around with little crushes and whatnot without express permission, but if my muse and yours are going to really get meaningfully involved I'd like to make sure we're on the same page

how often do you like to ship?

when it works! i'm a SAP for shipping, I really value the comfort and closeness it can bring to my muses. the ideal is at least one for my muses, but I don't mind messing around

are you multiship?

yeee!! every character and dynamic to explore is different, and I like to explore them all when they're applicable. single-ship is just so restrictive-sounding to me - I might have a preferred ship to fall back on for sake of a blog's central canonicity, but nothing that locks out other options. and i also do poly but i've yet to be that lucky

are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

used to be i'd say ship-obsessed, but these days i'm somewhere in the middle. i've realized that how far i went for ships was rather specifically because that's where closeness and tender emotions were most easily written, but I understand nowadays that's hardly the End of it, and that comfort can certainly come with the right kind of friends, too. I won't turn a good ship away, but I'm not in dire need of them like I used to be.

what is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

See Question 1. like i've never seen ship content of any kind with zena out in the wild, that's how dire it is

finally, how does one ship with you?

just bring the possibility up? if it seems like there's potential in a ship with my muse and yours, just lmk and i'd be happy to volley around the concept and see if I can vibe with it. Worst case we just wind up with good friends instead!

Tagged by: actually i stole it from @gamenu and for the things that woman's done to me i will not apologize /j Tagging: take it if you want it!

[pizzahutchan124]

I gotta work on finding my voice

All too often I fear posting anything original on here out of fear of being mediocre. But being mediocre is the only way to learn how to be extraordinary. Its a catch 22. You fling shit at a wall until one of it sticks. Really, the worst thing to happen on this site is that its out in the happy little gapping hell of an abyss that is tumblr, with little to no traction made in terms of engagement.

Is engagement on here truly the worse thing possible? Maybe. It probably depends on what circle you're in or what sort of brand you want to show to the world. I remember the last time I got into a discourse with a user on here. We fought over how valid Jaspers character (from Steven Universe) was and then he blocked me after spouting ad hominems. YEA, that lil exchange was over 7/8 years ago, yet I faintly remember the bitter bile I felt afterward. It could've been worse. Im not sure how, nor do I really feel like extrapolating those possible scenarios. There are also blogs who blow up over night, then deactivate due to being overwhelmed with the nature of being popular. The only proof that they exist remains in the posts that circulate around this site.

I don't go looking for fights whenever I log on here. My time here is meant to explore spaces and interests that I otherwise wouldn't have the means or resources to. And its interesting see the different takes people have on here. But I need to be aware of not crossing certain territories online. As nice as it can be broadening your horizons, the online world will always emulate the real world, and the real world often harbors terrifying, odious entities who thinks very little of the humanity inside you. Some are passive, others are upfront in their rancidity. Most of all of them are selfish to their core.

With that being said, I want to leave the world better then it was when I came in. Preferably that would be through transformative works or creating some sort of content, but that requires actual forethought and planning. Its hard to mesh creative pursuits with the all too real necessities of eating and paying bills, but its one that I'm trying to navigate. So far I think I'm doing a better job then most. My support system is still strong and I'm lucky enough to be in a position where I can be anything that I choose. Freelancing's been tough, but the work I've been getting has been top notch. The world is a scary place right now, but I'm confident that I'm smart enough to rise up to the challenge and blaze through it with flying colors.

Whenever I want to make a post here, I want it to be an original take and not something I parroted from another user, while keeping a tone that says "I'm in control and I'm knowledgeable about this thing right here." Yet, I end up sitting on my laurels only for the moment to pass. I don't sit with myself like I use to. I mean, I do, but not like before. Its different. Its for me, instead of the world. I don't event know what I want to show to the world in terms of Original Content. If I wanted to reflect back to the world what it truly was, I'd be a terrifying, wonderful creature with many beautiful eyes and gnarled teeth. Sadly I am only human. I'm going to have to make do with petting my Blorbos and my precious furbaby until my next paycheck comes in.

[obabayangu]

When You KNOW You Lyin'

August 8th, 2023

Y'ALL! Tell me why I'm STILL single? 😒Smh. I aint too mad about it tho...not anymore. After having fifty 'leven coming to Jesus meetings with my father, I have understanding now. Wanna hear what I came up with? Wanna hear my conclusion?

Lemme clear my throat *AHEM*

"God is hiding my man from all of the hoes out here and for that, I am grateful. He is not withholding my man from me to torture me and see me suffer. God knows my desire to meet my mate. So he's hiding him for a good reason and I trust him. My man is NOT delayed and is on the way!"

Sounds good right?

Chile, if only you knew how long it took ME to convince ME of what I wrote above. But, we gone get into allat. First, lemme update y’all and then bring it on back:

Yea my last post? Don't mind that. I thought about deleting it but, I'm supposed to be "transparent" so y'all about to get ALL this ghettoness! Just trust the process sis and watch the testimony unload. But, y'all know I'm not shady. I'll address the last post, and all the other posts relating to the man I dated recently. My last post was just apart of the breakup. To keep it a buck, I thought that I was writing about my husband 🤷🏾‍♀️ and WONT! 🤣 You know when you're at that point in the breakup and you start desiring dumb stuff, even if it doesn't make sense? So you express dumb things like "I want this no good man even tho---lemme stop. He was NOT not no good. He just was not what God, shoot, even what I wanted for me. And I knew that chile, smh. From the giddy up. But you know how you get real desperate and feel like all the real mens of GAWDT evaporated? Yup. So I settled, BIG TIME. Like I said, he was a real good man. But just not God's best for ME and my preferences. So now I've got 2-3 cringy posts--don't worry, its apart of the testimony--but, they're up here and they profess LIES that I KNEW were LIES when I wrote them. Like Girl, how do you compromise on your DEALBREAKERS? 🙄 And then romanticize it up smh. Just tried to write them out hoping to make it make sense and make him fit into the man that I truly desired. Yup. Definitely "my bad". But, he did us both a favor and did what I could NOT do and chose NOT to do, and cut it off to put us both out of our misery. Chile, when I tell you that relationship won't IT. Sis, smh. The connection alone that I desired NEVER arose. And I felt that the WHOLE time, and STILL stayed? Just settling in the UPmost ways possible smh. So all the posts below this, romanticized LIES girl. And I knew while writing them that that man wasn’t who I wanted—WHILE WRITING “This man is exactly who I want” 😒 But again, it's alright. Just apart of the testimony. Now what was I saying? Oh yea, this ghetto'd down singleness

Sike--lemme stop playing and stop speaking like that over my singleness. Has it had it's ghetto'd days? YES INDEED!!!! And a LOT of them recently. Sis, I have been struggling HARDT in my singleness lately, harder than I have EVER struggled in my adult life. I'm talking about me tryna mind mine and Satan whispers "You single." Like will you SHUT-UP!

But, like I said, after a DEEP coming to Jesus meeting, I had to sit down and evaluate what was going on with me.

What’s Really Good?

I discovered 3 things:

I idolized wanting to be in a relationship

I was being tricked by Satan's lies

I was faking rather than owning my funk.

Idolization- Not cute. It’s an easy place to fall into and when I noticed the overconsumption of thoughts revolved around my singleness, I let God have it.

The DECEIT- Y’all. The enemy lies SO MUCH, it’s “ludacris”. LUDA 🗣️ I had began to believe big fat lies about my singleness to the point where sometimes I’d leave church, crying, because not one man of God, in the Lord’s own house, even looked at me let alone approached me. After leaving certain environments alone, instead of walking away unbothered, I’d walk away believing that because my husband wasn’t at that venue either, that it’s gonna take an even longer time than anticipated, to meet him. I’d believed that God was withholding my man from me on purpose to do a prolonged test on me, while seeing me in pain, and I believed that I need to prove to God that I was unbothered in order to receive him already. All LIES sis! I debunked almost allat with 2 simple verses:

Habakkuk 2:3 “—If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.”

‭ Psalms 84:11 “—The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.”

And these 2 verses alone held so much power and called out the enemies LIES! Sometimes, you gotta talk back to your situation with the TRUTH. Make sure that what you’re saying about your situation lines up with what God says about your situation. So after recognizing that Satan was lying to me and trying to discourage me, I had to deal with the back end of it.

Sis. I am SO happy for all the happy, occupied, unbothered, single women who are “focusing on them”, “waiting patiently”, and “not looking” for their husbands”. Cause guess what sis? THAT AINT ME! Yet, I thought that I had to abide by this recipe to somehow “trick God” into blessing me with my husband if I just did and “acted” like how all of the mature Christian women did. I thought for sure then he’d just show up “right when I least expected it”. Cause this is what they preach, right? This is the posture single women should sit in to receive their amazing men of God. Y’all. I’m done faking THAT funk. Somewhere in the middle of my meeting with Jesus, I had a revelation that I’d been trying SO hard to “act” like my singleness doesn’t bother me and “act” like it’s okay but that’s simply not my story. Singleness is HARDT y’all. I am EAGER to meet my husband and can’t wait to involve him in my non busy life! But I am conquering through this thang, with God’s help. So this is me, sharing MY story of singleness, and maybe yours too. I may not be sitting pretty & patient like all of the other good Christian church girls keep telling me to do, but instead, I’m gonna walk through the TRUE challenges of my testimony—while waiting on my husband lol. So sit back, relax, grab your popcorn

and your edges

cause chile, this ride is about to be CRAZY! But worth the wait!

‭

[isaacapatow]

* * #SUPERMARKET & #WALKIE-TALKIES CONVO WITH @ginnypark

Ginny Park Here. I've got a reward for your honesty and eggplant expertise. [tosses him Ermano's walkie-talkie] Ermano left this behind earlier. Maybe you can leverage its return against him or something.

ike -catches the walkie, then waggles it at her- You're a shit-stirrer. You can't fool me.

Ginny Park Whaaat? Shit-starter how? I have no idea what you're talking about. How else is he gonna get his walkie back? [grins] Maybe you'll be his heeeero.

ike -snorts at her speculation- I have met some hard-asses in my time but never anybody who even APPROACHED the levels of stoneface that guy has. I could come back to town with a sitrep that meets military standards and he'd still side-eye me like I was wearing a fuckin' clown nose to deliver it.

Ginny Park Maybe he’s just not one for stats. Could be a softie for a walkie-talkie. You never know. The clown nose might be a good idea! You’re, uh, Izzy. And Ermano’s… [she pauses thoughtfully then smiles again] Chuckles. Or… Smiley. Bozo. He’d really like that one. Hey, wait, gimme that, I wanna poll people on which names they prefer — [she grabs for the walkie talkie again]

ike -harrumphing- I don't think he's a softie for any… -trails off, blinking once she says 'Izzy'. eyes narrowing slightly, jaw tight, keeping the walkie out of her reach- Who told you to say that? Izzy. Why'd you choose that fucking name out of everything.

Ginny Park Whoa. [takes a step back, turning her head to look at him sidelong] What do you mean, who told me? It’s a pretty simple nickname. Your name’s Isaac, right? It’s like: Virginia is Ginny. Isaac is… that.

… Why would someone have told me to say that, Ike? Who called you that?

ike -still staring at her warily, like he might bolt if things go a direction he doesn't like- Izzy … Izzy was Ember's mom. That was her name, Isabella. I'm the only one she let call her that, though. She's -- she's fucking dead now, Ember said. -a little more viciously- Ike. Ike is what's the nickname for Isaac. You're just being a bitch.

Ginny Park Hey. Let’s back the hell off with the ‘bitch’ stuff, got it? I didn’t know. How could I have known? I brought Ember some food. I didn’t get her whole life story. [more gently, after a beat] I didn’t know. I’m sorry. Ike, then. Ike the clown. Doesn’t have as good of a ring to it, but that’s alright. We can still market it.

[a contemplative pause] Kat. That’s what I called my wife. She hated it at first. [in a mock-up of her wife’s accent] Ekaterina, she said, is a good name. But I told her five syllables was too much to expect from me, given how tongue-tied she made me. So it was Kat.

ike -keeps on watching her narrow-eyed, without responding to her trying to soften the mood, until she mentions her wife- She was, what … is that Russian? Sounds like a ballerina name. -grunts a little, a de-escalating sound- It's hard to think of you doe-eyed over somebody like that. You seem like you'd. I dunno. Think you were above that sort of soppy shit. Not for Kat, though, huh.

Ginny Park Yeah, Russian. Press correspondent. That’s how we met. [laughs, albeit tight, a tendon ticking in her throat] I thought that, too. That I was kind of an exception. But you should’ve seen her. You’d get it, if you had. I cried so hard when I tried to propose that she told me to ‘please get up, you know I’m going to say yes.’

[twirls her bracelet a few times, looking away] That’s all to say that you’re not the only one here who’s felt a loss like that. So I wouldn’t mess with you about that. Not me. … You think of Isabella often?

ike -visibly softening more- Some fairy tale. Your Kat managed to tame the fearsome beast. -exhales gustily when she draws a line between them- Look. I didn't need to jump down your throat about it, I just -- it caught me off-guard and I'm kinda rubbed fuckin' raw over all that shit right now. You got way more reason to feel a loss than I do, considering I was only with Izzy for five years. For maybe five years. And marriage was never even on the table. -shrugs a shoulder- I think of her every so often. If there was a one, she was gonna be it.

Ginny Park I don’t know that I was ever fearsome. Just stubborn. [she pokes at his arm with the eggplant, an attempt to diffuse] I get it. I can’t imagine processing what you’re processing right now. And we don’t have to compare apples and oranges here. Loss is loss. We all know it. And ‘the one’ is no small thing. [looks down at the bracelet again for another beat, clearly distracted, before looking up at Ike with new conviction] Next time you go out, I want to go with you. [the unspoken: to search for Henry] Kat would kick my ass if she knew I was just sitting around while our son was out there. And I’d deserve it.

ike -he nods, mutely; he knows all this, but it's another thing hearing it from someone else- Yeah. Shit sucks all over. -eyes her curiously at her request, then says slowly:- Ohhh-kay. I'll work up a milk run for us. Don't argue, there's an actual place I wanna check out. We don't need all our raids to be straight-up subsistence, not with Redwood on its feet. You and me can afford to do something that neither life nor death hinges on. Them's my terms.

Ginny Park I’ll take whatever terms I can get. Thanks, Ike. I should go, but… I’ll be by your place later, alright? To bring you some of this. [she waves the eggplant then turns to go]

===

Ginny Park Come in, Ike. Ginny calling Ike.

ike Ike here. What's shaking?

Ginny Park Heard word that you saw a hoard from Lookout C the other night. Is that true?

ike Affirmative. What, you got eyes on 'em? Where are you?

Ginny Park Oh, no. No, nothing like that. … … … Did you get a good look at any of them?

ike Gin. [deep sigh] Don't.

Ginny Park It was kids, though? You're sure it was all kids?

ike It was all kids. But they were in hospital gowns. Like a whole peds ward got bit in one visit to the buffet.

Ginny Park …It could've been, though. Fairmont Medical's not far from here, right? He could've gotten scared after… and… Did you, um… put any of them down?

ike Even if he got scared, would he put on a hospital gown? Assign himself one of those id bracelets?

Ginny Park Do we know when Fairmont went down? It could've still been operating… I mean, I know most of the hospitals went to shit immediately, but…

ike Ginny. You're not making sense.

Ginny Park You didn't answer my question.

ike I'm not gonna answer your question because your entire line of thinking is fuckin' batshit! Get a god damn grip on yourself!

Ginny Park Fuck you. Batshit? Look who's talking. When your kid just walked right in here? Please. My grip's just fine. Thought you might spare me the walk, but if you won't do anything, I'll go look for myself.

ike Fuck yourself. You think going out there on some wild goose chase based on something I'm TELLING you is not plausible is gonna help anyone? You or Henry or ANYONE? What the shit did you even ask me for if you're not gonna listen?

Ginny Park It's not a goose chase! It's my son! I just – [sudden disconnection as her voice breaks… a moment before she comes back on] I need to see. I'll look from the tower. That's all. I just… need to see. I need to know.

ike They've moved on, Ginny. Past my Eyries. It would take an actual trek out to catch up with them and it's not worth it.

Ginny Park … Oh. I didn't realize. … Okay. … We're still on for the, um, milk run?

ike Maybe if you didn't try to use my fucking daughter against me.

Ginny Park That's fair. I'm… sorry. That was wrong. Call me jealous.

ike What in God's name is there about me to be jealous for?

Ginny Park You've got her. Messy and scary as I'm sure it is right now, at least you've got time with her. And certainty about where she is. If nothing else.

ike I didn't want any of that. You're not jealous of me for anything that's to do with me, you're just thinking about yourself. Sack up and admit that, at least.

Ginny Park You're telling me you don't want your kid in your life?

ike Ta-daaa.

Ginny Park Jesus, Ike…

ike Come on. This isn't a shock to you.

Ginny Park It is. But maybe you're right. Maybe I'm just thinking by my standards. And clearly we've got very different ones. Tell me that you haven't told her that.

ike [low chuckling] Theeeeere we go. Back to the moral rankings that everyone's more comfortable with. And no, I haven't said that to her. It's not the kind of thing you append to a welcome-to-Redwood card.

Ginny Park Well, at least you wrote her a card.

ike Ha-haaaaa! Hey, you should take your act on the road!

Ginny Park Ba dum tss. Speaking of out on the road… I'm free, over the next few days. If you still want to go on a run. If not… let me know.

ike Yeah, we're still going. I'm going anyhow so you might as well come with. I killed three of them.

Ginny Park … Okay. Thank you. I'm going to… I've got to go check. If he's any of those three. I know that he's probably not. But… I've gotta check. If I'm late to the council meeting, that's where I'm at. Ginny out.

[tinkerotr]

‘ha ha HA who would’ve thought !’ literally every neurodiverse person ever before you trauma-wired our brains into neurotypical thought-patterns in situations where we aren’t the only affected ones.

That’s a two-in-one observation there my friends, if you will indulge: compassion & conceptualizing solutions—and let’s even add communicating them for the fun of it!— are all innate capabilities that people with neurological differences beautifully excel at in SUBJECTIVELY DIFFERENT WAYS that may or may not correlate!

the neurotypical attempt to homogenize solutions into systems that can be applied to anything wether they’re compatible with the ‘issue’ or not is damaging since it removes individual creativity from problem-solving, which honestly is life saving when all you have for tool is your big brains.

and that can easily be confirmed by the pathological conversations every neurodiverse individual has had with a medical practitioner, or any authority that needs to have an account of your needs and accommodations.

Medical attention has been denied because symptoms don’t match to precedent case studies etc etc etc. allow me to implant the reality that the case studies are largely neurotypical-cis-white-western-male based, therefore that box you’re not fitting that’s not getting you the help you need? yea it’s probably because your condition is beyond their understanding and will prefer protecting their ego rather than offer you an honest ‘i’ll need to get a second opinion’ or ‘this requires me to do more research before i can safely advise you, and if your situation is time-sensitive i can refer you to a colleague who is specialized in this more than i am’

can you see the difference in those approaches? can you see how the level of care allowed to people has failed so SO many because it is a capitalist system in itself?

It has been too easy to create structures of help that are only sources of more harm, precocity, and trauma.

Lookie here: we find ourselves in situations of loneliness and desperation BECAUSE of the lack in supportive care that’s void of exploitative intentions ( i can’t tell you the amount of times i—and many more—was told i’d need to get these meds pay for this test fill out these stacks of docs only to find out my practitioner has been out of their depths the moment i walked in but tempted their shot at my expense only to have to wave the white flag after precious financial and time ressources were already spent, and needing to be repeated once more until a milestone is reached)

so anyways maybe if you don’t know something shut the fuck up and ask or stop, for the sweet love of any goddesses that speak to you, experimenting solutions based off of what your friend in need is saying. offer them HELP to figure out or research, that’s much more effective support and trust me you will also learn much that you’ll be able to one day forward in a situation when someone else knows less and you happen to have this knowledge already saved up from a previous situation.

ITS AS IF THATS WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT, EXPERIENCING AND LEARNING AND SHARING THROUGH MORE EXPERIENCES TO LEARN THROUGH LIKE???? WHY WHY WHY IS THIS SO HARD TO ACCEPT STOP FORCING YOUR EXPERIENCE AS THE DOMINANT ONE ain’t no such thing. only disappointing reactions that create disappointing experiences but that in itself is valuable to people who have self-thought how to avoid people-pleasing and pushing down their own experience for the sake of others’.

anywho that’s all for you. haha, ‘all’ she says after composing an essay for the sake of her sanity.