#thing is too its like its not about preferences here we all have them yea and like yea theres some

[magnoliamyrrh]

god its 2023 can people please stop being fucking weird about interracial relationships. so much of it is like either fetishization of ppl in them or its like,,,, dude it sounds like good old racism just it seems ppl have found more socially acceptable and progressive ways to say it. ppl will rly see intraracial relationships which rly seem just like nice, loving, caring and respectful! and not weird and just two ppl vibing and start saying wack shit like ohh youre diluting the blood youre betraying your own kind youre this and that like......... ... i dont care to me yall sound so much like were living in the fucking 50s - 70s and youre not saying it as a joke but seriously. weve gone fucking backwards in time and should probably remember having "pure blooded" kids or being "pure blooded" isnt something to be praised and as long as its consensual and loving having mixed kids or being in whatever relationship is just fine and if anything 💀 we should probably remember that genuine love between ppl who werent "allowed" to do so has historically in many different places been a sign of ppl actually not being racist and believing in the bullshit of the times

[achernarlupin]

My Marauders Designs

First of all these are kinda just some sketches so I can get a grip on how I think they would have looked.. vaguely cannon less so with some but who gaf

Sirius

I think I struggled most with Sirius because I could never really pin down what was meant when people would call his face ‘aristocratic’ but I settled on a mix between Kate Moss and the boy I had a crush on in 4th year.. I was completely obsessed with him and would draw him in my sketchbook during class but alas he was excruciating straight and eventually got a girlfriend too. Anyway his face was always quite gaunt like he hadn’t eaten and his eyes were sunken but in this kind of elegant way.. like a wind would blow him over. He never had very long hair but he had thin black curls that were very floating which I think suits Sirius well. I think he turned out alright all things considered

James

I could always picture James quite easily in my head for some reason. A disarmingly good looking guy who you would hate on principle because of how easy he seemingly has it but as soon as you have a conversation your under his spell too tripping over your feet to get his attention. His hair would be mostly soft waves but every so often he’s get a clump that’s pin straight or curled into little ringlets.

Peter

I’m still not sure with my Peter.. I think I might have made his face a bit soft. I think he’s pretty hard to pin down as a character but to me I think he’s just a coward. Ratting your friends out isn’t some act of defiance but the road of leat resistance but idk I think I need to read up more on his character. I mainly based my Peter off tcoptp I haven’t really made up my mind on how I feel about the fic as a whole but its probably got my favourite Peter.. I think having a twin really fits him and the comparisons between the brothers really highlight Peters shortcomings for me… I am a bit delusional when it comes to Peter I’m afraid I just prefer him as a regular dude.. especially when the traitor plots seem so shoehorned in sometimes

Remus

I think it’s funny how hard people find lupin to characterise especially since he’s the marauder we spend the most time with. It definitely has something to do with how seemingly contradictory his personality and werewolfisms are.. personally I prefer is when Remus is a bit odd and awkward I’d imagine her very good at speaking to people older than him from being homeschooled most of his life but kind of inept and a bit obnoxious when it came to kids his age. He would probably be kind of ignorant of how most things work in practice ( hiding it desperately like most kids so) but have knowledge of most things muggle and magic in theory. Sorry I love ranting about Remus I’ll tell you about his actual design. I thought he’d have slightly wavy hair like an in between James and Sirius. I didn’t draw them on but I image he has had reading glasses since he was very young, probably keeping then on him at all times. I’m still not sure about the scars or how I drew them but they would probably be more discreet like something you would have to be closer to notice but not nearly as subtle as when he is a teacher. His skin has a bit more warmth than Sirius since he actually leaves his house in the summer.

I will stop ranting about Remus or I will never stop hope you like my designs :) feel free to use with credit if you want. And reblog if you have other ideas about their designs..this is like my second post on this account so I doubt it will get that far but yea :-) here is the full sketches

[kkpaaw]

Jay as a Animal Crossing character!

I'm back at it again with the bullshit. turning the ninja into random stuff and this time its Animal Crossing characters!

Here we have Jay who is a Special Villager, all the ninja will be, so he's not one you can invite to live on your island, but he does have some use that I thought waaaaaaay to long and hard about.

His species is a dog but since he's a special villager I didn't have him follow the dog villager mold. He's wearing a simplified version of the outfit I throw him in usually and the light bolt just shows his connection to his og total of ninja of lightning even if in ac he was never one.

His left eye is cloudy blue with a (X) to show his blindness!

Now let's talk about his purpose

_____

- Oh hi! Nice to meet you! My name is Jay and I couldn't help but noticed the nice furniture you have around here! It's so nice and inspiring! You know? I make furniture too! But I make it using trash!

Hey don't give me that look! Trash can be very helpful as I'm sure you have seen with the few recipies i see you have! People are so careless with their trash and don't think about the endless possibilities with it! Well not me! My ma and pa taught me that anything can be put to use.

I used to doubt that too ya know. I mean trash?! That stuff should be thrown away yea. I would know I lived in a junkyard heh. But my pa used the trash In that place to make so many cool things and proved to me that you don't need fancy new tech wear to make cool things! With only a few pieces of trash you can make nearly anything!

....

Heh sorry i got carried away.. As you can see I'm a bit of a yapper. Kai tends to say i talk too much but bah what does he know! Zane says he likes my chatter! And besides, he can be as much of a chatter box as I can especially when he talks about himself!

Anyway, back on topic, I make things using trash. So if you have any trash on you I'll buy it off you! Orrr you can commission me to make you some furniture too! For a small price of course.~"

- Jay, Animal Crossing New Horizons

_______

Jay can be found wandering around your island admiring any furniture u have placed down or architecture. If u approach him he'll start his chatter.

He'll buy any item deemed as trash in the game (old tires, boots, cans) for about 200 bells each. So u can make slightly more money selling your trash to him over nooks cranny.

OR

You can commission him to turn them into actual furniture, and send them to you via mail that you can then use!

And I'm not talking just the furniture you can already craft with trash In the game I'm talking other types of furniture outside of that! The amount of items he'll send you depends on the amount of trash u give him and he will ask you for any preferences to furniture just so u have a higher likely of getting an item you'll actually use.

He'll need 3 pieces of trash per one item and it doesn't matter which piece of trash u can mix and match em. To get the max amount of items which is 5 u need to give him 15 pieces of trash.

He will then deliver them to you once per day starting the very next day

So he's a good way to get extra items as well as a way to reuse your trash in a way that will be more beneficial to you!

----

He will show up anywhere from once a month to 4 times in a month, but never more than once a week

All the ninja in ac work as a unit and as such are associated with eachtoher and will talk about another when they visit

Jay is always the first one to show up, as he's the one to talk the others into visiting.

He will mention one or two of the other ninja randomly in his chatter, which will give u a hint as to which of them will show up next month. Each ninja will show up in a given month and which ninja is next will be randomized, but your hint will always be between which ninja is mentioned by whoever has visited you. It will never repeat until all the ninja have visited you in which case its then randomized who shows up next.

____

I put too much thought into this plz save me

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: Miraculous World: London, At the Edge of Time

(Spoilers for those that havent seen it. and yes this will be my sort of Live reaction, with my thoughts at the end)

-Okay so Nooroo be sad and trying to appeal to this person's morality.

-Okay so I was wrong about them being Adrien, but they are... Blond Lila?

-Okay, so She was actually BOTH akumatized Villains. Not gonna lie, That is so expected I assumed one of them would be adrien. Damn

-Intro be dope though

-So they are playing some weird variant of chess.

-If I was kid Alix, Id be salty, I would never. win since the other versions of me KNOW all my moves.

-OH DAMN GRANNY BUNNYX! 70, damn she looks good for 70

-Oh they be fading, and they arent even phased. Because they know what will happen. Wow... kind of takes the drama out of this

-Oh cool, recap

-They dont even bother saying he was originally called monarch.

-Alix is so valid for that comment about them kissing

-"Gabriel makes his wish, history is still on course." Yep they are playing the Miguel O' Hara is right canon event bit unironically.

-Portals start vanishing. But the drama is gone because YOU KNOW Alix will fix it

-Oh there is a depressed Bugnoire. Confirmed that merge miraculous can still use powerups.

-She goes to London. Damn this is depressing, and sterile

-Bugnoire casual destroys the cell to free Kagami made me chuckle

-Marinette reflecting on what happened. talking with Gabriel

-"Adrien cannot find out."

TO THE SURPISE OF F***ING NOBODY!

-Kagami calling her out but then saying she will oblige her

-Oh they actually talking about Tomoe.

-Kagami wants to try and talk to her mom, which Marinette honors because... at least she isnt being a hypocrite here.

-Okay I know I am a bit nasty, but I do appreciate the time the scene is taking. its really building up the tension to this.

-Gorilla out of nowhere just like "Let me unlock it first." that made me chuckle

-I feel VERY CONFLICTED. Because on one hand, LOVE THE ANGST. Absolutely just perfection. Really milk that drama. But f*** do I HATE how this came about.

-Oh the Lie is actually pretty convincing. Oh look at how absolutely distraught Adrien is. Boy is f***ing wrecked.

-OH DAMN ADRIEN OUTBURST

-That Adrigami comforting.

-I want to love this absolutely heartshattering scene. Its beautiful, its angsty.

-Okay, you know what. I will hold my reservations until I actually finish.

-You can just see the absolute distraught face of Marinette. SHE HATES THIS. SHE ABSOLUTELY HATES WHAT SHE IS DOING. OH THAT IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL ANGSTY THING. Its slowly warming me up a bit, the finale was missing this.

-Oh damn, Nathalie knows Marinette is Ladybug. WELP, just another person that knows thats not Adrien.

-Oh damn, Ladybug monologue, while she destroys everything related to Hawkmoth, monarch, and his scheme. In a way, becoming his greatest accomplice.

-The press conference is full of a lies. Wow its starting to feel just like real life.

-Nathalie comforting Adrien, such a soft scene. Meanwhile Tomoe and Kagami are cold to eachother

-Marinette is at the train station

-That adrinette hug.... yea, thats the good stuff

-Im happy the kwami are safe.

-There is a lot of not talking in these moments. letting the music set the tone.

-And day becomes night, Marinette sleeps with Plagg and tikki by her side. Now she asks if what she did was right

-Is there a kwami of truth? Because if there is, I wonder what animal it is

-WAIT, She lied to Alya too? THAT I didnt see coming.

-And right there, we see when the special ACTUALLY Starts

-Okay the vest is funny

-The burrow has a slowed down time aspect, makes sense because of the whole time travel thing.

-So they have to take Marinette's Miraculous from when she renounced it. For a split second, I thought she was talking about the Kwami choice, but it was actually Origins. Which makes more sense

-So thats why Tikki becomes so sure of Marinette.

-She changed colors? Why thoough?! Granted I do prefer it to the original costume, but not as much as the lucky charm form.

-"There is no such thing as ghost." GHOST FORCE WOULD LIKE A WORD MARINETTe

-Basically she can phase through things like Kitty pride. And be invisible. So like a Ghost.

-Ladybug verses the Ghost akuma

-She cant touch them

-Calender. it means you have to go to a different time

-This special really likes hammering in that Ladybug's lie is wrong, yet at the same time NO ONE is offering her an alternative. So it feels like the special isnt really committing to the "Marinette is right" or "Marinette is wrong."

-"Sorry, you cant take the butterfly miraculous cause Canon Event." Yea this is getting repetitive

-So Time Stalker was there. Saw Ladybug was Marinette

-Yea, not gonna lie. All the clips showing the finale only remind me how much I HATE it.

-Gabriel f***s off to leave his son an orphan but gets to be with his wife. Thus getitng his wish forever and now Ladybug has to basically let it happen because F*** her in particular

-NATHALIE WITH A CROSSBOW!

-Nathalie telling the small crying teen who was willing to sacrifice HERSELF, that she didnt have to go that far. People often forget Marinette is a TEENAGER going through s***. Nathalie should have stopped Gabriel earlier

-That aside, all this special reinforced is that Gabriel is an idiot. He really could have won so much easier

-And thats how Time stalker found out

-Marinette figured out they were the same person, clever writing

-Super ghost and Super Spy dumb names

-I love Barkk. She is like "Dont be so sure"

-Man this special really retreads a lot of old ground a lot

-Miraculous Bug Noire

-So Bugnoire saying until they get the butterfly miraculous back. She cant tell him the truth.... Yea no. Thats dumb. I still find this very dumb.

-But the whole mini portal thing was funny to me. Why not just make a portal under them to pull them in.

-There we go.

-SHE HAS MORE OF THEM? Okay thats pretty clever

-"He or She?" if it wasnt present bunnyx Id assume she knew.

-The explanation on why Nathalie cant tell Adrien is also bulls**t.

-A wiseman once said, the "Truth hurts but once, but a Lie will ache forever" Marinette is basically setting up for worse

-I will say, the Choreography in these encounters is pretty cool.

-Okay the plan was clever

-Ladybug is apparently REALLY good at forging signatures. Are we sure Marinette isnt a future villainess?

-The Ladybug monologue with that funky beat was fun

-HEHEHE Lila Temper tantrum

-Poor Nooroo

-Well the plan worked.

-Bunnyx not being sad about having to stay as Bunnyx.

-Wait, so how come they can go ride dinosaurs if they cant mess with time?

-So bunnyx says "Hey its cool to lie as long as you own up to it eventually." Thats a fucking terrible lesson for kids to learn. I hope everyone reading this knows that

-Wait... is Chronobug dead?

-Nope, she is still alive

-Plagg is confused. But Tikki knows. Okay thats cute

-Marinette fixing the miraculous and upgrading them. Thats neat

-Marinette's logic for spreading it out makes sense at least. And the new hawkmoth doesnt know the heroes identities. Tomoe might though

-Okay, Plagg is cute.

-Ah yes, the Ladynoir

-There is that Hug. Thats that good stuff

-Chat noir's guilt and Ladybug's Guilt

-And then Lila's monologue at the end

___________________________________________________________

Now... How do I feel about this special?

I am torn.

On one hand, it did show that Marinette is feeling the effects of the secrets she is keeping. She is clearly feeling guilty about it. And the special does a LOT to justify what she is doing and never outright gives her a pass for it. I also LOVED that sweet succulent ANGST. Good stuff.

on the Other hand, some of the explanations are not good (like Adrien not finding out until after the butterfly is found? It makes no sense), and it hand waves a LOT of things. Not to mention, it does basically have Marinette, Kagami and Nathalie in this secret Cabal of secrets. Tomoe is basically not held accountable. And the whole Canon event thing and time travel basically means there is never any real danger. So it really takes the wind out of this.

But BUT, This special does at least imply that this secret will be the cause of tension, now the question is IF the show will actually deliver on this angst.

I dont hate this special as it does illuminate a LOT of what was missing from the Season 5 finale... that being said, I still hate the season 5 finale.

so its 6/10.

[pumpkinsy0]

Need pony doing really bad at something and his perfectionist ass getting really upset

EXTRA POINTS!! if a few tears are shed RIGHT AFTER in front if the people who r judging him at whatever he did bad at

Cause I just did HORRENDOUS at a callback for a show I really really wanna play an ACTUAL character in because everyone else who was called back got assigned the material last night and IIIII just learned it in 45 minutes! 😝😝😝😝😝 couldn't remember timing, what even is a note??? I apperently do not know???

as im writing this im watching the most embarrassing speedrun in halo history and remembering all the embarrassing moments ive had im rlly getting into character here

i dont think we talk enough about the things that happened like right after in school when pony was done w that essay so lets surround this post around that

•now i will tell everyone rn, the version pony showed the teacher vs the version written in the book r twi very different things, this context is important!!!

•pony thought his essay was good, but as good as his lit teacher was saying??? gooodddd no, when his teacher pulled him aside to talk about it he was very happy but panicking cause he rlly just wanted to write this and not think about it for a while, that whole thing took a week to finish. his teacher was giving him praise and pony wanted to rio his hair out

•look believe it or not pony was already having issues w his essay. yes in a way its his way of honoring johnny but he feels like it wasnt perfect and that eats up at him. the essay wasnt written in a way pony usually writes his essays, he was writing and writing without double checking like he usually would, personally he thinks he was a too messy and real but thats the only way he could get it out and he hates that, its embarrassing putting himself out there

•annyyways, the teacher liked it so much, he told pony he was gonna show it to this publisher he was good buddies!! buttt he wants pony to read it to em cause hes he only one who could perfect captualize the emotion behing all of it”. pony felt like he was gonna throw up out of excitement and nervousness. HIS essay??? to a reallll publisher??? u gotta b kidding

•pony told darry and soda the knew and they were so happy for him, obviously🙄🙄they told two and steve, eventually that led to the shepars finding out, then ponys school friends, then OTHER PPL he didnt know, that made the stress worse. pony feels like hes gotta represent greasers and his own family well, he has to make sure he properly tells johnnys story, keep the respect dally had when he died, hes gotta do a lot rn😭

•ponys practicing reading it, could probably even repeat a chunk of it without looking at the paper, he even ignored eating for this😒😒😒so pony thought he had this down. day of meeting the publisher starts and pony was fine, he rlly wasnt stressing about it bad till it got closer and closer💔💔he had to meet em in the middle of the day and pony comforted himself saying after this he can just pretend like it didnt happen for some ounce of normalcy

•when pony started reading, u could tell he was a bit disheveled and shakey, but it was fine, just looked like normal teen nerves its cool, its just as he went on into more of his personal lifes issues where pony started tearing up cause my goddd is this fucking embarrassing😭like i said, the way he wrote this essay throws him off and its in front of ppl who he doesnt know will get his struggles or make fun of him for it. his face is red and YEA he’s damn near tearing up a bit (he can hide this part tho thank god, if a tear fell onto his paper its so up)

•soon as he realized how he mustve looked, he got more red, PLUS it was quiet, he could hear everytime he strugglef getting through a sentence and every shuffle he did w his body, he was so sick to his stomach. finished reading, looked up, and they looked like they felt bad for pony, pony hates pity so honestly wouldve preferred them just staring at each other basically asking “did that rlly just happen” but nooo

•he basically ran out that place into the bathroom to throw cold water on his face and he totally ditched the rest of the day to avoid speaking to anyone about how it went, even locked himself in his old room to avoid speaking to anyone who did come home, its like hiding in plain sight, nobody rlly expects him to b in there

[rn-pmount]

welcome to my blog :]

hiii im teddy, im 22 and im a nonbinary lesbian. he/it/she (if ur cool)

this blog is 18+. i do not really post ns/fw stuff but i would prefer adult only interaction, as i do rb some non sexual nudity and suggestive art.

i post *a lot*, i have a full queue that posts all day and i reblog with reckless abandon. i do not tag when i rb, tags are added later or while in queue for my own sorting reasons. i would tag things if anyone *needs* me to but i mostly quick rb so as of right now, nothing is tagged.

i run a really neat blog @teddys-digi-closet where i archive clothes i find online. i do rb everything posted there here (through queue mostly) so no pressure to follow both (or me at all lol) but im really proud of it so it would be cool if people checked it out :]

thats the general stuff, more cool deets about me + my current interests which will be half my reblogs will be under the keep reading.

divider made by me!!

i have headmates and they (mostly) all post here too. teddy is mostly our collective name so we are all good with being called it, teddy isnt really one person. those who mostly post here are winnifred, anna, theo and k 👍🏻

winnie, anna, and another headmate who doesnt post here also have blogs if anyone wants to hang out with just them more ^-^ but we are all pretty active on just this account. as i said above i dont post ns/fw here much but 2 of those blogs are for that so yea. if you want that stuff those are the blogs for you, hmu for the @!

i use to run my not so popular main: nurse-patsymount and the semi popular sideblog teddybearmombf before they were deleted, and even though its been about half a year, im still looking for a bunch of mutuals!! so if you remember me hiii

I'd love to make more friends, especially in person ones! not gonna doxx myself or anything but ive said on here before im from ontario, canada and i will always try my best to answer any dms! i kinda suck at talking to people online but im trying my best ^^"

right now (day this was posted) i am really into: fashion, history, fashion history, textile crafts (rn latch hook rugs and hand sewing), late victorian and early edwardian fashions and living, finding underground music, the 60s (mostly the fashion, architecture and decor), charli xcx, m.i.a., girls generation, fem&m, femtynal, 100 gecs, american dad, call the midwife, sending/receiving mail (moots wanna swap postcards? hmu!!)

okay uhmmm i think thats it! i also have a ko-fi if you would like to support me for funs or for my clothing blog ^-^ I also plan on selling prints of my art on there (or on a different site, i dunno yet!!)

[annimator]

I need to be sedated

(I JUST WATCHED TOMJAKE EP 4 AND I HAVE THINGS TO SAY, ITS ALL UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE SPOILERS)

• Lucia’s rewatching All Stars lmao. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE QUEEN YOU LIKE REALITY TV AND CARE ALOT FOR TOM AS A FRIEND

• Tom’s quitting the police force, good for him. I’m saying this as a chaotic neutral-ish person

• YEA SHE ADMITTED IT, SHE CARES :D

• Intro time- OH OK NOW YOU SWITCH BACK TO THE ORIGINAL VERSION OF THE INTRO THAT WAS POSTED BY ITSELF, ALRIGHTY THEN

• Aw they’re setting up for Miriam’s party :D

• I almost thought Jake and Ellie were gonna get into another argument lmao. It’s nice to see them on good terms

• GABBY LOOKS SO HAPPY WITH THE PIÑATA I LOVE HER

• yoooo Ashley cameo :D

• OMG AIDEN’S HERE I LOVE HIM SMMMM

• “Aw, no James?” “He’s busy being a famous actor.” My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined-

• oh cool Lake’s here too. Congrats on getting a gf queen

• ngl I prefer Tom with a hoodie on. Anyways YEA MORE TOM & GABBY SCENES

• I still cannot get over the fact that Shawn and Alec have the same va lol

• I understand where Jake’s coming from tbh. I’d be pissed off if I had a sibling that wasn’t there when I needed him even though I’m an only child

• Aw Tom and Gabby are singing piggyback together in the car :D

• HELL YEA TOM’S GOING TO THERAPY

• “Yay! And you always have us to help you heal!” Gabby ily

• “Can you believe some people walk on the sidewalk? The audacity!” Lmao

• Jake and Shawn’s convo was rlly sweet :D I’m not gonna copy paste the whole thing cuz am lazy, but Shawn saying that their Grandma would be proud is making me sad :’)

• Event planning being Jake’s career is somewhat surprising to me. Wonder how twt’s thinking about it…

• AW TOM WENT BACK TO TIPISKAW TO GET THE HEART HE CARVED INTO THE CABINS THAT ADORABLE

• Gabby is truly the ideal homie

• “Between us, you’re my favourite Disventure Camp contestant!” Real take about Aiden right here /j

• NAH DID MIRIAM HAVE TO FAKE HAVING A HEART ATTACK AGAIN.

• “I couldn’t imagine a better man to be my brother’s other half!” I love Shawn being so acceptive of Tom :D

• Why did Tom have to get so defensive over Jake lmao. Did u rlly have to say that to his brother lol

• Annnnnd Gabbs broke the carved heart lol

• “It’s not the gift, it’s the gesture.” REAL

• YEAH ANOTHER KISS LETS GOOOO

• Oh damn, they’re… doing stuff (yeah I can’t get over that line from All Stars Ep19 lol)

• I’m getting too lazy to type stuff but that ending montage was rlly wholesome.

• AWWW TOM BROUGHT JAKE TO THE PLACED THEY HAD THEIR FIRST KISS THATS FUCKING WHOLESOME BRO

• I love seeing Gabby as Tom’s wingwoman. Queen shit right there

• JAKE GLUED THE CARVED HEART BACK TOGETHER THAT ADORABLEEEEE

• “Despite everything, we weathered the storm.” “And scars, inside and out. Makes it more beautiful.” I want to cry, but I’m in a public place rn

• “Anything big coming up?” “Well, I was thinking maybe… the next wedding I planned… was ours.” NO WAY. NO FUCKING WAY DID JAKE BASICALLY JUST PROPOSE TO TOM OMG I FUCKING WINNNN

• IT ENDS ON A SHOT OF THE CARVED HEART OH MY FUCKING GODAPXJDNIWIQQ

• OK OVERALL, GREAT EPISODE, 10/10, IM STILL KINDA SAD THAT JAMES DIDNT MAKE AN APPEARANCE BUT THAT PROPOSAL MADE UP FOR IT

• Bro im so hyped for Carnival of Chaos coming out by the end of this month. ALSO I WANT A SEASON TWO, PLEASE JARED I WANT TO SEE A DOUBLE DATE BETWEEN TOMJAKE AND JAIDEN-

[moenxs]

I hope you feel better! What sort of things do you feel are rampant in the rpc? Do you think they are things that are easy to improve?

oooh boy now THIS is definitely going under a read more because the yapping i'm about to do....

Let me start off by saying a lot of things "wrong" with the rpc are easy to improve as a whole but much harder to improve individually since really a lot of this comes down to individuals and a "vocal minority" in a sense.

I think there's a lot of underlying elitism as a whole in the rpc whether its purposeful or just a byproduct of existing on this site. And a lot of this also results in a very "cliquey" vibe that stretches across every fandom. Now I'm not saying that having a friend group that you tend to prioritize a bit is bad, we all do that, i mean going out of your way to exclude people that try to extend a conversation of interacting, especially if you happen to be mutuals with them.

And I get that OOC interactions can be a little rough especially when social interactions can be hard for people, but if that's the case, then why be mutuals with someone if you're either not going to reach out first, OR interact with them at all if THEY reach out first? Idk that whole thing is just frustrating to me and I think that it's something that definitely needs to be improved on as a whole.

This next thing is just a little more personal and to some people i might sound like I'm whining but it's genuinely an issue with roleplay as a whole and not really just on tumblr.

The topic of a strange aversion to female characters, and OCs. And particularly female OCs. I talked about this with a mutual briefly earlier and they helped me feel a little better about speaking up on this. To be blunt, it still sucks to be an OC writer on tumblr, especially if it happens to be a female OC (don't even get me started on female CANONS though lmao that's a whole other convo-) and especially if you're not really "popular" within the rpc already.

I quite literally have one of my blogs on a momentary hiatus because he was getting a little too much attention. Meanwhile it was nearly crickets here at one point, and I won't lie it does hurt quite a bit. But I'm not going to blame everyone entirely, people have their preferences and that's understandable.

As someone who is a cis woman, i started out on tumblr writing female OCs, and slowly when i found myself getting more comfortable writing male OCs I also found myself getting more consistent interactions. It felt like people were actually getting excited to write with me. And younger me was loving it! I didn't even realize anything was weird as I eventually transitioned over to just writing male OCs entirely for a time. Female OCs still existed on my blog but they were collecting dust.

It wasn't until recently (post 2020 ish) that i really dived back into my female characters and it was around that that I had started to notice the trend as well. I dedicated myself to female OCs in particular and I noticed a pretty steep decline in interactions as a whole. Yea, maybe you can say it was a coincidence until I started writing a male OC again and things steadily increased once again.

Also, I dearly love interacting with other people's OCs, wholeheartedly so. But who wouldn't want to interact with a canon character as well? Other OC writers are extremely welcoming, I've rarely found someone that actively writes OCs more often than not that's not sweet as can be (there are exceptions but i won't get into that).

I've noticed though that (not all obviously but it's definitely a chunk) a decent bit of the elitism that I mentioned before comes from these canon writers. The ones that are "popular" and are actually well known in the space, while most can be just as nice, there's that "vocal minority" that can easily leave quite a bad taste in your mouth.

Like i said, it's a pretty vocal minority. Most if not all of my mutuals that write canons are absolutely not in this category. But still there are some that-

this is going to sound so bad but i promise it's not it's just that i cannot find a better way to word this-

Make me as an OC writer, idk, feel lesser? Like if i'm not one of their close friends that also happens to write an OC it feels more like it's simply an obligation to try and write with me than it is a mutual "excitement" i guess.

I don't know, it's just that even with some mutuals, there's a lack of mutuality and sometimes it makes me wonder why we're even mutuals. Maybe that's just a bit of insecurity talking but honestly at this point it's just incredibly frustrating than it is disheartening anymore.

Like, I do not care how slow you are as a writer, I would just be happy with some sort of reciprocation OOC???? I don't know if that sounds entitled, I know people have busy lives but to see people boasting about ships or plots that theyve been talking about with other people when I've been trying actively to plot with them or even just converse with them is also now more frustrating than disheartening these days lol.

ANYWAYS HAHA

yea that sure was a yap session and a half, I don't know how many of you will make it to this point but if you did thank you so much for hearing me out and hopefully I didn't really offend anyone that badly at any point LMAO

[brightlotusmoon]

Hey there, big fan of you and your fanfiction and I just need to get this out and “vent” about this to someone, and I feel like you may be the only one to understand and validate this opinion lol.

In the tmnt 2003 series it just ANNOYS ME so much on an unreal level how Mikey gets treated by the show writers. One that really annoys me is just SAINW and the good genes arc. Good genes for obvious reasons, we were robbed basically of that whole thing by them changing Donnie to be mutated instead of Mikey, but I never saw anyone mention SAINW’s potential before.

I CONSTANTLY see the statement “Mikey adds nothing to the team” and its just because THEY NEVER SHOW IT!! THATS WHY!! His role is supposed to be the heart and the glue that keeps the team together. The one that brings light in their dark ass lives. They had the perfect opportunity to do this in either good genes or SAINW and they blew it. Everyone knows Donnie has a role to play, so why not let Mikey be teleported to that future instead and have him be the one out of time. It just makes so much more sense to have that, to actually SHOW people the role he plays in the team and family. He could still even be a badass in that episode if they wanted, but just let him and his audience have that moment of realization in his importance. It could have worked for Good Genes too!! I just dont get why they barely let Mikey do shit or have any angst moments when others get plenty of it. And yea I know Laird was in control of the whole thing and Don was his favorite so that obviously means angst nepotism but still. Its just frustrating to see how people wont look at the bigger picture to see how important he really is. Its just UGRHHHH!!! Its even worse that 2003 is most peoples goto for the franchise whenever 2003 themselves rarely did Mikey any justice!! Its like I have to resort to fanfiction instead of canon because they actually just GET IT more than the writers do. Like I feel like Im going insane on this topic to the point Im ranting to my therapist about it because of my ocd compulsions and reassurance seeking includes this shit.

Im really hoping mutant mayhem will be different since Seth Rogen’s favorite is Mikey, so hopefully he will actually do him justice; with his works being Invincible and The Boys, im having high hopes for the writing capabilities of him. Here is to hoping if that it is the case then MM becomes the status quo.

Sorry for the rant, this has been on my mind for fucking ages and I feel you might be the only other one that I can say this to lol.

Awww, you remind me a little of me back in 2016 when I started this Tumblr as a literal storage place for ideas on exploring Mikey's psychology.

We DO have to resort to fanfiction! It's actually been that way since the late 90s. Uh. I helped start it. Got diagnosed with ADHD, looked at 2003 Mikey, went "guys hear me out" later got diagnosed autistic with the help of the people who coined neurodivergence, looked at 2003 Mikey and his brothers again, went "Sure, it's all of them!" and sat on it for years before writing it here.

In that time, there cropped up some writers who just really preferred to play with his silly side more than the rest of him, especially after 2012. I think we're going to cycle around to more 03 fanfiction pointing out Mikey's unspoken skills beyond mouthy, crafty, irritating, or weird.

That reminds me, I have a chapter to write from Leo's viewpoint on that.

[back-alley-bardblog]

“Yo!! DUDE STOP RIGHT THERE i gotta talk at you ok i gotta put you onto some shit.” The very loud imp produces a crumpled scrap of paper from his pocket before checking it over, he then pulls out a chewed up pencil from another pocket and crosses it off

“Hook them in… check! Man I’m already nailing this Claire's gonna be so damn proud. ANYWAY hi. Hello. My name’s Tobias but please call me Tobi WITH AN I i know its weird but it makes me happy uh- uhm.”

Tobi checks another, different scrap of paper

“Oh yea… If you’re seeing this post then HOPEFULLY you’re the kind of person that likes it when dudes are silly on the internet. This blog is kind of that? I’m part of this band and we’re trying to get noticed by people n stuff so we were told to maybe make some kind of account somewhere and I suggested this!”

As he throws his hands into the air, Tobi flings the paper scraps as if they were confetti, seemingly without noticing

“Basically uh we’re just gonna hang out here and you, people of the internet, can actually get to know us n stuff.. Just me for now though, the rest of the guys aren’t really into this kind of thing. I’m sure I can sneak you all some peeks of them though! wink”

That wink was spoken. It's not clear if he actually did wink considering his choice of hairstyle

“BUT I’m sure that’s not too much of a tragedy. I’m pretty endearing when I need to be.”

…

“Ok that's all I got ta say, hope to talk more soon, bye!!!”

(vv psst, under here! vv)

Heyyyy it's me, the actual owner of this blog and creator of back alley bard (you can call me box :3 I use he/they pronouns with a HUGE preference for the he as opposed to the they) here to drop some INFORMATION and GROUND RULES for this blog. 

I'm gonna start with some boundaries/rules first though. Just to get them out the way.

Any attempts to start NSFW rp will be ignored, this blog’s lore is that it's a band’s social media so none of the lads will be having e sex on main.. Or at all, really. Also it's just a boundary thing. Flirting is fine though by all means type the foulest thing you can in the inbox if it's for funny reasons, this blog is rated a solid 16+. Speaking of that

IF YOU ARE ANY YOUNGER THAN 16 PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS BLOG. The story this blog is based off is very mature in its content so it's more of a means to deter the hypothetical fanbase from being overrun with young kids than a “I FUCKING HATE LITTLE KIDS” thing. Nothing against you guys, I just don’t really wanna write something with sexuality as a relevant recurring thing with the knowledge it's mainly 13 year olds that’re gonna engage with it. Personal comfort, if anything.

Please don’t send asks that are fourth wall breaks. This is stuff like telling Tobi he isn’t real or trying to tell them that I exist and control what he says on here. I’ll just delete your ask and block you if you try sending anymore like that

Generally just don’t be a weirdo. No Zoos, Pedos, Proshippers or Hate Speech is allowed on this blog. Zero tolerance policy I will block you on SIGHT.

Don’t be rude if it takes a while to get a response, I have a life outside of this and am currently a student and will continue to be one for the next 4 years or so. Basically don’t RUSH ME

If you have any meta questions like “oh how long have you had the boys” or “can i have a reference for tobi” please redirect them to either my art blog @unboxt (where i’m more likely to see it) or my main dump blog @basement-hobo 

DO NOT ADDRESS ME IN THE ASKS. I AM FUNCTIONALLY NOT HERE. I DO NOT EXIST ITS JUST TOBI

Ok that's all my boundaries/rules, onto the fun bit! Actual info on what this blog actually is and how it works.

As summarised by the bio back alley bard is a fictional (somewhat punk) indie rock band I created and are my ocs. They are not a real band and I have no plans to make them the next Gorillaz or Yaelokre - I do still plan to publish something big about them though!

This blog is an experimental side project to me for now so all asks are limited to just Tobi (he/they) BUT if I like doing this you guys unlock full band perms. Should mention though, this doesn’t mean I won’t show them or have tobi give any information about the band. Do with this what you will.

My main goal with this is to get people familiar with Back Alley Bard so that when I get around to really working on my goals for it I’ll have a substantial amount of people to back me up for it. Also because its a fun way to put a bit more meat on the bones of the lads (and practice drawing them)

That's basically it. Happy asking, folks!

[kannra21]

Gege is so good when it comes to introducing female characters imo. Yuki, maki, nobara, mai, mei mei, utahime. and ofc, shoko! all baddies who are simply 10s. I love jjk women sm 💗The only problem is that he gives them a moment and then sidelines them without giving us much depth into their character.. shoko and utahime especially have huge potential and I really hope he gives us more insight before he decides to end the manga.

The sexualization too is not so bad (even though it exists). it is WAY better than these other mangakas who treat their female characters like doormats and objects to ogle at and something the fanboys can be creepy about. another plus point is how they are actual GROWN women and not these lolis/shotas or whatever pedophilic stuff mangakas draw for their hyper horny misogynistic incel audience.

Yes, Japan is indeed very creepy when it comes to these things (i have been there and trust me it is the worst). Those men need to be put behind bars and they're extremely weird in areas where women's rights are concerned. i understand why Japanese women dont wanna procreate with them anymore and the declining birth rates. i support it tbh. most of them have 0 respect towards us and only see us as baby making machines. if they want to get women, maybe they should start getting their shit together.

Yes it's probably Gege's marketing strategy to make his work more woman-friendly, something other mangaka failed to achieve (which explains why their works are not as successful bc women will refuse to read smtng they're not comfortable with).

Most women read shojo, bc woman leads are respected and loved. So Gege took this into account + he introduced handsome men who are also strong (Gojo prime example). When you combine all these ideas into one, add meaningful plot composition, deep lessons on life, tragedy, comedy, a lil bit or romance, you get what we call "woman's heaven" lol. As a woman, I prefer shōnen over shojo bc shōnen is not solely based on romance. Instead, you have world building with lil bit of romance here and there to make it sweet. And mby bc shojo men seem feminine to me while shōnen seem more masculine that's also why lol. But yea, I think Gege did a pretty good job. Jjk has a lot to offer to its diverse audience (even to LGBT community with Hakari and Kirara).

We need to understand that shōnen is created with men on mind, it's aimed at male audience. So logically speaking, women won't play a super large role. Despite that, Maki had a lot of shiny moments for a shōnen girl, which made me happy. I also hope that Utahime and Shoko will play some important role as well, especially towards the end bc the end of the manga is nearing.

And yes I hate lolis as well haha. Grown women for the win.

[inke-ri]

Okay I lied here are some more thoughts on the mlb movie including some actual criticism.

I was just listening to the soundtrack a little and I feel like? A lot of ~character~ is injected into the songs. I mean, it's a musical, it's how they work, characters burst into song when they cant hold back how they're feeling / what they're thinking anymore. But I feel like people who are calling the movie soulless must have just tuned the songs out when they came up, because without them yea, it kinda feels like its just going through the motions. But... It's a movie, so they cant have five million scenes of Mari being awkward, especially since they need her to outgrow it bc ~character development~ so these bits go into her intro song + her first outing as Ladybug. It's obviously stated in Chat's number that he was high off the freedom of being Chat Noir, which explains his cockier attitude towards Ladybug (which is? Not too unlike their dynamic in Origins pt 1 tbh, anyway).

(A detail I love is how in "You Are Ladybug", Marinette's whole point is that when things get rough she "makes excuses", which is a level of self awareness that I don't recall her having to that degree in the early show. At least in season 1, she'd always ALMOST do the things she wanted to, only to stop and second guess herself. I love the interpretation that it isnt just shyness or being frazzled and nervous in front of her crush, like the fandom interpreted, it's her ACTIVELY being aware that she's self sabotaging bc she's afraid of taking chances. It's such a fun little spin on her actions in the show. )

Like. It's all there??? It's in the movie???

Anyway.

Wanna see an ACTUAL criticism? What some songs imply just isn't represented as well visually, which makes the movie more confusing. Most notably Marinette's Sad Song after Adrien turns her down. If you actually listen to what she's saying, it feels like they skipped a few scenes, lol.

Like, listen to it, it's like she's saying she - as Marinette - isn't enough, just being the silly shy girl that she is. This is right after Chat confesses to be falling for Ladybug, but Adrien turns Marinette down. The song is implying that Mari went from not thinking she could be Ladybug to gaining confidence in herself (she's kicking butt as Ladybug, she's overcoming her shyness/awkwardness and making friends, she even managed to ask Adrien out, so its not like the old fic trope in which Mari always had a low self esteem and always considered LB to be perfect, she's getting better as a whole), to only now second guessing it all. Is only Ladybug, her more heroic, responsible side, the one people (boys, "both" of them) like? Is being "just" her softer, klutzier, dreamer self not enough?

It ofc leads into the final fight against Hawkmoth, and how Marinette is so down about it that she now thinks she NEEDS Ladybug to win. She still tries to save Adrien on her own with a last nudge from Tikki, and tho it isn't enough to keep Hawkmoth from getting to him, it's enough for herself. Like, she very clearly Has An Arc in the movie.

The thing is, it can get a little fuzzy because we don't really see this contrast between Ladybug's self assuredness and the parts of herself that Marinette prefers to identify with as a civilian, not if you haven't watched the show. The montage just skips throughout their "pound it!"s without lingering on her resourcefulness, her confidence, and how different Ladybug feels from Marinette. Like, it's there, but only superficially, and its hard to notice it unless you have the backstory from the show to back you up.

It's the same issue with Adrien's feelings towards Marinette, we know from the montage that Mari is special to him, we only ever see him open himself up about Emilie to her (when Nino is Right There and actively letting him know he can talk to him if Adrien wants to), and the end credits song (that seems to match the reveal in both melody and lyrics) basically states what we do know - that Mari is aware that Adrien is Chat Noir and was waiting for the right moment to tell him - and what we DON'T, which is that Adrien always felt a degree of familiarity and a special bond with Mari, possibly bc subconsciously he always knew (which actually calls back surprisingly well to the cut Wall Between Us number and how that poor catboy was SO confused). So he was and wasn't surprised at the same time bc OF COURSE it was her, of course the girls who held his heart on both sides of the mask were one and the same. Ergo the smiling through the tears.

But we don't SEE that, unless you take what the music numbers are saying AND you have watched the first season of the show (I am once again reminding folks that the movie was conceptualized during the season 1 hiatus). You don't SEE Adrien go from a slightly weirded out stranger to someone fondly amused at Mari's antics to blushing and shuffling awkwardly when their fingers touch when playing videogames. You don't see how LB takes control and appears to be a natural leader, heck, the movie does a better job with Ladynoir but it STILL doesn't match how it feels to watch it knowing things like Chat straight up being willing to die for Ladybug in Timebreaker or knowing they kiss once in Dark Cupid or how Chat keeps himself from peeking at who LB is in Lady Wifi. You don't have the Adrienette side of the square to explain some of those lyrics away and the Ladynoir Song(tm) or even the sparring scene, with all the implicit trust they gives us, don't hit as hard as they do with the proper context.

Some of it (Ladynoir) can be excused by it being a movie and having a much more limited runtime to tell a story, but others (Adrienette) just NEEDED a little bit more. Even if it was just one more scene showing how their civilian relationship has ALSO evolved.

That said, it makes me wonder, it's been ages but I loosely remember being told that the movie was supposed to show the origins of Ladybug and Chat Noir back in the day. I wonder if the things we see changed between series and movie (the power ups for instance, details like Nino always having a crush on Alya) weren't originally, and the movie was originally going to be released as both the beginning and the end of season 1, showing how LB and Chat met, revealing Gabriel as Hawkmoth, and concluding the love square shenanigans and giving us a reveal before setting up a season 2 in that post The End scene.

Mostly bc I've been watching season 1 again and if you take Origins out and ignore the smaller incongruencies as just edits reworked into the base story later in order separate the movieverse from the showverse as a way for Zag and Astruc to find a compromise... I'm using an old friend's personalized episode timeline instead of just the release/production order and you can SEE the development there. It's subtle but it exists, and it works surprisingly well.

If you look at it this way, the movie wouldn't need to show things like Adrien's modeling career and Gabriel's micromanaging (which in season 1 STILL works with movie Gabriel, especially knowing he gets obsessed to the point of neglecting his personal hygiene. He's distant and cold but not aggressive), so the show could explore that. The show could set up Adrienette and Ladynoir (and the other subtler sides of the square)'s base dynamics so the movie could do its thing by flipping the love square (had it had more time to properly show the Adrienette side. as I said above, its an actual issue with the movie) and resolving the tension. Even the earphones symbolism would hit harder knowing Adrien went through a whole season without them, only to falter and fall back into using them after LB rejects him.

Idk, I'm too fond of Origins to ever delete it from my heart, but I think its a fascinating concept to think about.

[mr-knife-guy]

Hey you can call me Knife, this is my ii sideblog and also osc fictionkin sideblog. Might be awkward im bad at peopleing.

Update: this is mostly just an ii blog now HELP

DO NOT INTERACT: Knife doubles (love you guys but doubles of me make me uncomfortable), Proshippers, NSFW, Basic DNI (pedos n junk), anti-fictionkin, otherkin, etc

YES INTERACT: Mediamates / canonmates and stuff u guys are AWESOME. Idc who you are btw im cool with everybody,, taco kins, trophy kins, etc dont feel bad interacting love u guys /p /silly

If you follow me I probably won't follow back cause this isnt my main blog but we can be mutuals in my heart ok. If i do follow back itll be like semi-obvious its me tho i ThHINK?? /j

info about kins and stuff under cut

LIST OF OSC KINS :

⭐️ KNIFE [inanimate insanity]

RAZOR [objectified]

DYNAMITE [objectified]

AIRY [hfjONE]

NINE [xfohv / bfb]

BOOK [bfb]

note: list is in order from most to least connected- knife basically overthrown all of them though I'm most connected to him. doubles are welcome for the other ones (except razor) it's just preferred you don't talk about it a bunch

specific kin info :

Knife things :

I'm pretty sure I ended up real close to Microphone and we were good friends (maybe even qpps but IM NOT SURE MAN!!?????????), nothing romantic there at all though im p sure? I like the ship tho

Knifecase is real

Was also good friends with pickle,, maybe also dating but idk. I like knickle tho (: I'm a huge multishipper

Other than that canon-compliant I'm pretty sure.

I miss mediamates lots so if you kin any of them I'd love to be invisible mutuals because I CANT FOLLOW BACK ON TH-

My highest kin here- usually in a shift.

Airy things :

Uhhh I get memories sometimes and I miss the cabin,, I do feel bad for everything too.

I'm pretty sure I died and then managed to make my way back to my world and me and Liam were frrriiiiennddss? I don't know how he saw it but we ended up bonding a bit and stuff.

canon-compliant aside from that- I tend to use lowercase and stuff when I'm in shifts of him. i also tend to miss liam a lot but I totally understand you liams who aren't comfortable or have very negative views of me and that's ok <3 im sorry for what happened

Razor & Dynamite are canon compliant! Nothing aside from that really

Others :

Not much else I don't get memories or feels like this for the others !

that's all I think yea thanks for reading

dividers from here and here

[celestialprayer]

SHIPPING INFO. answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

what’s your OTP for your muse(s)?

bit of a loaded question for a character canon used as sparingly as it did. the closest I can say is Annelie, since she's one of the only non-main cast members (who all have their own Situations going on) Zena has any noteworthy interactions with - and I mean that in a "they shared two Dragalia Life (the gag series) comics together and Annelie was Generally Supportive and Nice in her direction" sort of way.

ofc its a bit irrelevant to the conversation since we're way past the point where dragalia character rpers are freely stumbled on, but! yea

what are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

A lot of things! I like to have fun and variety, though I'll admit I'm a bit more of a basic bitch than a lot of RPers - I prefer my ships healthy, or at least to get there with time, thanks! Also no NSFW, very ace writer here, though I can skirt the line with fades, if it fits the mood

how large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

A bit dependent on context, imo. Generally 10 years feels like a Lot to think about in a vaccuum, but there've been Individual Instances with more of a gap than that that I can vibe with. That said, Zena's rather a rather young adult physically, and I'd be reluctant to go too much older with her, so there probably won't be too much messing with that on my end.

are you selective when shipping?

not very? obviously I like chemistry and a meaningful bond to be at least implied before I go all in on it, but I'm pretty loose when it comes to what that really entails. I just like having my characters form close and loving bonds of all kinds, and have their base want for closeness met.

how far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

If there's even a sniff of possibility for the bedroom getting involved, fades/cuts will happen at most once the bed's reached, if I even wrote something that goes that far.

does one have to ask to ship with you?

it'd be nice! i don't mind playing around with little crushes and whatnot without express permission, but if my muse and yours are going to really get meaningfully involved I'd like to make sure we're on the same page

how often do you like to ship?

when it works! i'm a SAP for shipping, I really value the comfort and closeness it can bring to my muses. the ideal is at least one for my muses, but I don't mind messing around

are you multiship?

yeee!! every character and dynamic to explore is different, and I like to explore them all when they're applicable. single-ship is just so restrictive-sounding to me - I might have a preferred ship to fall back on for sake of a blog's central canonicity, but nothing that locks out other options. and i also do poly but i've yet to be that lucky

are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

used to be i'd say ship-obsessed, but these days i'm somewhere in the middle. i've realized that how far i went for ships was rather specifically because that's where closeness and tender emotions were most easily written, but I understand nowadays that's hardly the End of it, and that comfort can certainly come with the right kind of friends, too. I won't turn a good ship away, but I'm not in dire need of them like I used to be.

what is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

See Question 1. like i've never seen ship content of any kind with zena out in the wild, that's how dire it is

finally, how does one ship with you?

just bring the possibility up? if it seems like there's potential in a ship with my muse and yours, just lmk and i'd be happy to volley around the concept and see if I can vibe with it. Worst case we just wind up with good friends instead!

Tagged by: actually i stole it from @gamenu and for the things that woman's done to me i will not apologize /j Tagging: take it if you want it!

[pizzahutchan124]

I gotta work on finding my voice

All too often I fear posting anything original on here out of fear of being mediocre. But being mediocre is the only way to learn how to be extraordinary. Its a catch 22. You fling shit at a wall until one of it sticks. Really, the worst thing to happen on this site is that its out in the happy little gapping hell of an abyss that is tumblr, with little to no traction made in terms of engagement.

Is engagement on here truly the worse thing possible? Maybe. It probably depends on what circle you're in or what sort of brand you want to show to the world. I remember the last time I got into a discourse with a user on here. We fought over how valid Jaspers character (from Steven Universe) was and then he blocked me after spouting ad hominems. YEA, that lil exchange was over 7/8 years ago, yet I faintly remember the bitter bile I felt afterward. It could've been worse. Im not sure how, nor do I really feel like extrapolating those possible scenarios. There are also blogs who blow up over night, then deactivate due to being overwhelmed with the nature of being popular. The only proof that they exist remains in the posts that circulate around this site.

I don't go looking for fights whenever I log on here. My time here is meant to explore spaces and interests that I otherwise wouldn't have the means or resources to. And its interesting see the different takes people have on here. But I need to be aware of not crossing certain territories online. As nice as it can be broadening your horizons, the online world will always emulate the real world, and the real world often harbors terrifying, odious entities who thinks very little of the humanity inside you. Some are passive, others are upfront in their rancidity. Most of all of them are selfish to their core.

With that being said, I want to leave the world better then it was when I came in. Preferably that would be through transformative works or creating some sort of content, but that requires actual forethought and planning. Its hard to mesh creative pursuits with the all too real necessities of eating and paying bills, but its one that I'm trying to navigate. So far I think I'm doing a better job then most. My support system is still strong and I'm lucky enough to be in a position where I can be anything that I choose. Freelancing's been tough, but the work I've been getting has been top notch. The world is a scary place right now, but I'm confident that I'm smart enough to rise up to the challenge and blaze through it with flying colors.

Whenever I want to make a post here, I want it to be an original take and not something I parroted from another user, while keeping a tone that says "I'm in control and I'm knowledgeable about this thing right here." Yet, I end up sitting on my laurels only for the moment to pass. I don't sit with myself like I use to. I mean, I do, but not like before. Its different. Its for me, instead of the world. I don't event know what I want to show to the world in terms of Original Content. If I wanted to reflect back to the world what it truly was, I'd be a terrifying, wonderful creature with many beautiful eyes and gnarled teeth. Sadly I am only human. I'm going to have to make do with petting my Blorbos and my precious furbaby until my next paycheck comes in.

[obabayangu]

When You KNOW You Lyin'

August 8th, 2023

Y'ALL! Tell me why I'm STILL single? 😒Smh. I aint too mad about it tho...not anymore. After having fifty 'leven coming to Jesus meetings with my father, I have understanding now. Wanna hear what I came up with? Wanna hear my conclusion?

Lemme clear my throat *AHEM*

"God is hiding my man from all of the hoes out here and for that, I am grateful. He is not withholding my man from me to torture me and see me suffer. God knows my desire to meet my mate. So he's hiding him for a good reason and I trust him. My man is NOT delayed and is on the way!"

Sounds good right?

Chile, if only you knew how long it took ME to convince ME of what I wrote above. But, we gone get into allat. First, lemme update y’all and then bring it on back:

Yea my last post? Don't mind that. I thought about deleting it but, I'm supposed to be "transparent" so y'all about to get ALL this ghettoness! Just trust the process sis and watch the testimony unload. But, y'all know I'm not shady. I'll address the last post, and all the other posts relating to the man I dated recently. My last post was just apart of the breakup. To keep it a buck, I thought that I was writing about my husband 🤷🏾‍♀️ and WONT! 🤣 You know when you're at that point in the breakup and you start desiring dumb stuff, even if it doesn't make sense? So you express dumb things like "I want this no good man even tho---lemme stop. He was NOT not no good. He just was not what God, shoot, even what I wanted for me. And I knew that chile, smh. From the giddy up. But you know how you get real desperate and feel like all the real mens of GAWDT evaporated? Yup. So I settled, BIG TIME. Like I said, he was a real good man. But just not God's best for ME and my preferences. So now I've got 2-3 cringy posts--don't worry, its apart of the testimony--but, they're up here and they profess LIES that I KNEW were LIES when I wrote them. Like Girl, how do you compromise on your DEALBREAKERS? 🙄 And then romanticize it up smh. Just tried to write them out hoping to make it make sense and make him fit into the man that I truly desired. Yup. Definitely "my bad". But, he did us both a favor and did what I could NOT do and chose NOT to do, and cut it off to put us both out of our misery. Chile, when I tell you that relationship won't IT. Sis, smh. The connection alone that I desired NEVER arose. And I felt that the WHOLE time, and STILL stayed? Just settling in the UPmost ways possible smh. So all the posts below this, romanticized LIES girl. And I knew while writing them that that man wasn’t who I wanted—WHILE WRITING “This man is exactly who I want” 😒 But again, it's alright. Just apart of the testimony. Now what was I saying? Oh yea, this ghetto'd down singleness

Sike--lemme stop playing and stop speaking like that over my singleness. Has it had it's ghetto'd days? YES INDEED!!!! And a LOT of them recently. Sis, I have been struggling HARDT in my singleness lately, harder than I have EVER struggled in my adult life. I'm talking about me tryna mind mine and Satan whispers "You single." Like will you SHUT-UP!

But, like I said, after a DEEP coming to Jesus meeting, I had to sit down and evaluate what was going on with me.

What’s Really Good?

I discovered 3 things:

I idolized wanting to be in a relationship

I was being tricked by Satan's lies

I was faking rather than owning my funk.

Idolization- Not cute. It’s an easy place to fall into and when I noticed the overconsumption of thoughts revolved around my singleness, I let God have it.

The DECEIT- Y’all. The enemy lies SO MUCH, it’s “ludacris”. LUDA 🗣️ I had began to believe big fat lies about my singleness to the point where sometimes I’d leave church, crying, because not one man of God, in the Lord’s own house, even looked at me let alone approached me. After leaving certain environments alone, instead of walking away unbothered, I’d walk away believing that because my husband wasn’t at that venue either, that it’s gonna take an even longer time than anticipated, to meet him. I’d believed that God was withholding my man from me on purpose to do a prolonged test on me, while seeing me in pain, and I believed that I need to prove to God that I was unbothered in order to receive him already. All LIES sis! I debunked almost allat with 2 simple verses:

Habakkuk 2:3 “—If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.”

‭ Psalms 84:11 “—The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.”

And these 2 verses alone held so much power and called out the enemies LIES! Sometimes, you gotta talk back to your situation with the TRUTH. Make sure that what you’re saying about your situation lines up with what God says about your situation. So after recognizing that Satan was lying to me and trying to discourage me, I had to deal with the back end of it.

Sis. I am SO happy for all the happy, occupied, unbothered, single women who are “focusing on them”, “waiting patiently”, and “not looking” for their husbands”. Cause guess what sis? THAT AINT ME! Yet, I thought that I had to abide by this recipe to somehow “trick God” into blessing me with my husband if I just did and “acted” like how all of the mature Christian women did. I thought for sure then he’d just show up “right when I least expected it”. Cause this is what they preach, right? This is the posture single women should sit in to receive their amazing men of God. Y’all. I’m done faking THAT funk. Somewhere in the middle of my meeting with Jesus, I had a revelation that I’d been trying SO hard to “act” like my singleness doesn’t bother me and “act” like it’s okay but that’s simply not my story. Singleness is HARDT y’all. I am EAGER to meet my husband and can’t wait to involve him in my non busy life! But I am conquering through this thang, with God’s help. So this is me, sharing MY story of singleness, and maybe yours too. I may not be sitting pretty & patient like all of the other good Christian church girls keep telling me to do, but instead, I’m gonna walk through the TRUE challenges of my testimony—while waiting on my husband lol. So sit back, relax, grab your popcorn

and your edges

cause chile, this ride is about to be CRAZY! But worth the wait!

‭