#theyre under a tree i hope that comes through

[coffee-ouji]

love live OC moment, theyre having lunch

sketch version under see more

idk man, i feel like the sketch is better, there so much more fluidity(?) idk how to say it at least i learnt a new hair shading technice

[vhagarlovebot]

Hi!! I was wondering if you could write something for aegon along the lines of aemond and reader are married but bc aemond wants to give her space and “spare” her of his company and doesnt wanna scare her bc of his appearance and demeanor they dont talk at all and theyre like strangers, sort of like aemond thinks he’s doing the right thing by leaving her be but in reality she just wants to be loved by her husband and one day aegon finds her sobbing about aemond bc she just wants to be loved by him. Bc shes crying abt his “perfect” brother he feels better abt himself bc hes thinking “my brother isnt the perfect son” and so he decides to befriend her and they kind of bond over the fact that theyre both really lonely in kings landing. Ik this is probably rlly off for his character tbh so if you dont want to do it thats okay! Ik some ppl r really iffy abt writing abt aegon so if thats the case just ignore the ask im sorry to bother! But I love ur writing sm and hope u have a great day~

gwen’s note: i need to say this before writing your req because it is important to me. but i really think aegon, as well as many other characters from hotd, is very complex. however we can’t overlook the awful things he’s done, that’s why i think that the only way of writing him is by trying to understand from where it comes, why he is the way he is, etc. (but not defend him, never defend him for being a rapist) and diverge from his character. hotd writers made it really hard to sympathize with him given that the first scene they gave us of older aegon was THAT scene. and again, i would never defend aegon from what he did, that is inexcusable, it does not matter how much he suffered or how alone he feels, he should have never done that. that is why if i write aegon i would always try to get as close as possible to what i think of this complex character (just as i have been doing with aemond) and always have his feelings and experiences in mind, i will never minimize what he and everyone has been through. and bc in fanfic you can write whatever you want, i’ve been saying that since the beginning. aegon is not a good person but i believe that if they give him a chance, he would definitely try to be better. and i fully believe that aegon has a heart and deep down he cares, we see glimpses of that in the show. so after saying that, if i diverge from what the show has showed us about aegon or what YOU think about him, remember that everyone has their own opinions and if you don’t like them, be respectful and simply block me (this is not directed at you but to everyone in general). hope you enjoy! <3

crying in public was not a good idea, but being under the weirwood tree made you miss home.

“do you feel well?” a man’s voice startles you, and you are quick to wipe the tears still falling from your eyes, trying to pull yourself together before turning around.

you are surprised to see prince aegon standing a few feet away from you, genuine concern on his face.

you want very hard to say yes but you can’t say the words, so you just simply shake your head as more tears start falling from your eyes.

aegon doesn’t know what to do. he never knows what to do when someone cries in front of him, he’s not used to this kind of behavior. he can’t remember a time when someone from his family cried in front of him and he comforted them. or if they comforted him. because that never happened. so he doesn’t know if he should keep walking and leave you alone, or ask what’s happening. however, his legs are moving towards you before he can make a decision.

and you don’t know what to do. should you excuse yourself and run out of there? but your legs don’t move and your eyes can’t leave his face, lilac gaze studying your body, but not in a creepy and sexual way. it’s also the first time you and the prince are alone and you thought when that happened, you would feel uncomfortable, rumors fly fast inside and outside the red keep and prince aegon is the main protagonist in all of them. however you feel strangely calm.

“does this have to do with my brother?” aegon dares to ask. he knows your marriage is not an easy one, mostly because aemond is very cold towards you. he has seen you alone together just a couple of times and in all of them you’ve been looking sad and uncomfortable while his younger brother showed nothing with his expression.

it is sad to know prince aegon knows why you’re sad. does everyone in the red keep notice how unhappy you truly are?

aegon sits beside you, his hands on his lap as you move away making space for him on the little bench.

“i just feel so… alone.” you let your guard down, after all he is the one asking and you so desperately need someone to talk to, anyone, and if that person turns out to be the prince, then so be it.

aegon laughs bitterly, looking to his feet playing with a few leaves that had fallen from the tree. he knows that feeling too well, he has been feeling alone his whole life.

“and— and i can’t say anything to him because he doesn’t listen to me. it’s like i’m talking to a wall.” you sob, wiping your nose with the back of your hand.

prince aemond is your husband. but he’s also a total stranger too. you barely talk, he almost never looks at you and you haven’t consummate your marriage, something everyone is expecting for you to do. but how are you supposed to do it when he openly shows how much you bother him?

“i’m a burden to him!” you hide behind your palms, tears still falling from your eyes.

aegon feels a little better to know that his brother is stuck in a loveless marriage just like him. they might be very different but neither of them were able to escape from duty.

however, aegon feels something weird growing in his chest, something that doesn’t make him feel that much better. not while knowing that you’re hurting because of his brother.

aegon parts his lips, debating whether or not to say what he has not say to anyone. ever. because open up to someone is not something aegon targaryen has done before, he’s pretty good at hiding his feelings in a bottle of liquor. or a couple.

“i feel alone, too.” aegon looks for the right words but they don’t come to his mind and he feels very vulnerable. “i am a burden to everyone. my family. the servants. my own father doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

what the prince says is no surprise to you. you’ve heard the servants talking about the prince and how they wish to never be in the receiving end of one of his outbursts.

“see?” he says and you lift your gaze, turning to look at him, who is already looking with his lips curved in a small smile. “we have something in common! we’re not entirely alone.”

the kind gesture of prince aegon of trying to make you feel better is not something anyone would do, not in king’s landing at least, much less by saying something so personal. but it makes you smile through your tears.

it is strange, sitting on a bench with aegon targaryen, talking and being vulnerable. this definitely wasn’t on your list this morning when you woke up, but it is something you’re always going to remember.

“now,” aegon says, drawing out a handkerchief and holding it out to you. shyly, you accept it. “i am sure you miss home and i have nothing else to do… so why don’t you tell me everything i need to know about winterfell?”

your heart fills with pride and longing. and as you wipe your tears you start telling him about those cold and happy days of your childhood while prince aegon listens very closely.

[exocynraku]

thunder spoilers under the cut!!! read at your own risk!!! here are my opinions on the book!!! i wrote this right after reading originally on the 4th and planned 2 post it on the 7th. it's not the 7th exactly where i live but the wiki updated with spoilers since it's the 7th over there so whatever

okay, so, overall, i liked it. i didnt LOVE it, but i liked it. sunbeams chapters were all great, and with nightheart travelling with frostpaw, he finally had the chance to not be an ass, and he wasn't as bad! i actually read his chapters this time, and oh my god frostpaws chapters were INCREDIBLE!!!! i loved her interactions with whistlepaw and smoky, and wow. she did get spayed, LOL! got spoiled for that early (thanks, assholes!) i was NOT expecting to meet the new cats of the park! i totally thought we'd encounter warriorclan! i'm a little bummed about that, but the cats of the park were all super nice to read about which was super nice. especially bee! thought i'm upset she has the same name as another cat.. wails the reveal of splashtail i totally expected, but i'm a little surprised over curlfeather. i know that there's been suspect she was a villain, but damn! i wanted to hold onto hope! but hey, her being evil is super interesting. plus, wow! she's in the dark forest! i guess i shouldve expected that, but it's felt like forever since a cat got sent there. (which i dont think is rlly true? juniperclaw went i think that was tbc? whatever, still feels so long ago) also i didnt mind that it was a travelling book! i know a lot of ppl HATEEEE travelling books, but i think there was still enough substance to make it interesting! now, that ending... er, hard to explain my feelings. i like cliffhangers because they make me really excited for the next book, but man! this one hurt bad! i want frostpaw to jump out !!!! raugh!!! also, waffle and wasp are cute! i'm happy theyre coming to the clans! we NEED more genetic diversity SOBS and honestly, with frostpaws thoughts right before leaving the park, with the clans needing to become less harsh and fighty, and more open, especially to outsiders? that was incredible! genuinely, genuinely incredible! and i hope they go through with it, i really do! berryheart is also an interesting character. if i'm being honest, i hope she leaves. not becaues i dont like her (i think she's one of the most interesting characters we've had in the series for a long time, even if she sucks), but because like i said earlier we NEED more genetic diversity in the clans! more cats with long blood lines need to leave or die, and new cats w/o long blood lines, or none at all need to start existing. all of the incest is pissing me off. so i'm glad that somecat with not a particularly long bloodline, but a big one (berryheart has like 70 siblings) is leaving. plus those other cats. last misc things, finally, some tree action! it's a miracle! i also like how there were mentions of 1: thunderclan being overcrowded (please please please mass exctinction event GO) and 2: tree being mediator, but never really having the chance to shine. also, cherryfall sucks. jeez louise! i used to like her for gods sake! spotfur and her kits were adorable, i liked ivypool in this book, and oh my god, brambleclaw finally gets less of a spotlight! overall, i liked it. not the most amazing book to ever exist ever, but it definitely got my excited for the next books!!! really happy with ASC so far and i'm pumped to see what's going to happen with it in the future.

also, with the cats of the park cats being introduced, i'll have to draw them! oh boy more work for me to do

[voidwritesstuff]

Nightwatch and Nightmares

Summary: war has to take the first half of the night watch on the maker tree,and finds himself with a human companion that leaves him wondering about just how far away in nature nephilim were from humans.

Cw: nightmares, unnamed human female character. (I dont really write x reader)

A/n: this was a gift for @moodymisty, also I have to clarify that I use dashes for dialogue!(my mother tongue is spanish, we use dashes for dialogue,thats just my writing style!). Misty I hope you like it!

He knew strife was going to get him tangled up in something,its strife we're talking about.

Which is how he finds himself keeping watch over the maker tree where all the humans were. He sits the at the edge of the entrance with his sword driven into the bark of the oversized Flora, the night Sky above twinkles with stars as its clear of any clouds.

He doesnt like this- being still and having to wait.

War has done it time and time again for missions,but this? This was different. He could do it- he would do it but he hated it.

Its the middle of the night, he hopes to at least crush a demon head. Instead,what he gets makes itself know with soft steps.

Walking behind him is a human girl,young, she holds on to her clothes as the air is a little chilly. Her eyes seem lost and she seems shaken.

The human sits close to the rider,perhaps because he meant safety and she needed some of that.

War- he didnt understand humans. He understands why he protects them Yes,but the intricacies of the human condition absolutely baffle Him.

--Tis late-- he says under his breath to not startle the girl-- what are you doing awake,human?

His companion pulls her knees to her chest, resting her hands on her lap.-- nightmare.

Light from the moon filters through the massive leaves of the tree,its a mesmerizing sight to behold. Theres Beauty in this destroyed world, a glimmer of hope for the humans.

After a moment of contemplation,war asks-- perhaps you'd like a listening ear? --She shook her head and a harsh wind blows, she shivers and her body shakes-- come closer, lest you freeze to death.

Reluctantly,the girl shuffles closer,enough that his radiating body heat subsides the effects of tbe chilly air on her skin.

--Theyre very vivid-My nightmares I mean-- she murmurs-- I dont want to talk about what it was about- I just want to go back to sleep but I cant shake off that lingering fear- do you guys even get nightmares?

Usually,he'd avoid being seen as weak or vulnerable. But the human was really shaken up and he didnt know what to say-- sometimes, yes.

--I didnt know that- WOW. We're similar in more ways than I thought-- she says absentmindedly, rubbing her palm with her thumb.

Well,that takes him off guard-- similar? Nephilim and human?

The girl shrugged-- well- you can develop bonds with people, your siblings I mean and the makers, too! Thats something important for us humans--she explains-- you can feel things like a sense of duty, or Curiosity. You can create things! Ive seen strife grab pieces of the maker tree and turn them into rustic toys for the kids! We also make stuff!

--Seems you have a point, little one-- he agrees, hes never seen it from that perspective. Now its glaringly obvious to him- how didnt he see it earlier?.

--You guys have a sense of humor too! I mean strifes the best example but ive seen you and fury laugh a little. You guys have troubles and worries like we do- i mean I could Keep going

Without noticing, the human had leaned on the rider for more warmth. Not that War minded,he didnt even feel her weight.

--As interesting as your ideas are human- I rather you save your strength--he states-- perhaps soon sleep Will find you-- then he makes a pause,trying to think the best words-- youre free to stay until you feel better

Yawning,the girl nodds and rubs her eyes-- cool--she wiggles a bit to find a comfortable space to lay on and she folds her arms over her chest. Her eyes feel heavy with sleep-- awesome- yknow? You guys are really good people- I mean yeah you hide behind snarky sarcastic comments but you care about us- so thank you.

He chuckles-- theres a lot you humans dont know about us.

--Yeah but we can tell when someone is good-- she added,a few words slurred-- and you guys are really good

Before he can say anything else,the girl falls asleep quietly. Body relaxing and leaning her whole dead weight on him,he barely even noticed it. But his gauntlet does lay its hand on the human to Keep tjem warm.

--Rest human,ill Keep you safe-- he murmurs before thinking "including from nightmares"

When strife comes by to switch with his youngest brother, War carries the human to a spare bed, not sure where her room was. He makes sure the covers are well laid on her and he takes a moment to appreciate the sight before him. Humans always looked so heavenly when they rested.

He decides he could get some rest of his own,so the red rider goes to find a quiet,dark corner of the tree to sit on and rest for a few hours. In his mind linger the words of the girl,War wonders just how much humans and nephilim were similar to eachother.

Humans,they really are an interesting thing.

[brokenbeskar]

Temporary

Chapter 12 of Memories Reforged (Din Djarin x F!Reader)

Word Count: 4.7k A/N: WHEW it's been awhile again woops! Sorry this is a shorter one, I'm already writing the next part though so hopefully it shouldn't be too long before the next update. I realized recently while reading other fics that as much as i love a good long chapter, i prefer the shorter ones because theyre easier to read. ALSO this was the only good place to end this chapter (you'll see what i mean) anyway! Thank you all for your kind comments on the last chapter I appreciate you all <3 Hope you enjoy!

 “What’s going on?” You demand more than ask for an answer. The urgency in his voice causes your own panic to surge in your throat.

And then you hear a branch snap behind you. 

You whip around to look behind you, but there's nothing. 

“Coordinates! Now!” You barely hear the mandalorian shout through the sound of your own heartbeat pounding in your ears, but it’s enough to kick you into gear. 

You quickly punch your coordinates into your vambrace and send them his way, before rushing to scan your surroundings when you hear more rustling in the distance. 

“Be quick.” You warn him through the comm, with a shaky exhale “I don’t think I’m alone out here.” 

You aren’t one to lose your composure easily, but something about the panic in the mandalorian’s voice–the fear. It’s so unlike him and that alone is enough to send a sharp chill through your veins. 

“I’m not far. Stay put.” He barks through the comm, and the static stops when he signs off.

The silence is deafening. Stay put. Easier said than done. Every part of you is telling you otherwise. You glance up to the shredded bark above you. It’s not safe to stay put. You pull the kid closer to your chest and cautiously scan the dense line of trees, barely even breathing so you can hear anything before it can even think about sneaking up on you. 

Not even a minute has passed, but Maker it feels like an eternity. Fuck it, you’re going to head back towards the creek. It’s not that far from the coordinates you sent, the Mandalorian was smart enough to find you, and truth be told, you were starting to feel far too claustrophobic in these trees. 

Just as you go to take a step in the direction of the creek however, you hear more rustling from behind you, but this time when you turn you see something dash just past your vision. You don’t hesitate a second to pull out your blaster, pointing towards where you saw the shadow and–

And then it’s gone. 

Like it was nothing more than your mind playing tricks on you. Only you can still hear whatever it is somewhere in the dense treeline. You take a couple steps back slowly, quickly shifting the aim of your blaster to either side of you. Darting from one spot to the next, trying desperately to make out where this damn thing is hiding. The nature of the forest makes it sound like it's coming from everywhere all at once. 

Cautiously you just focus on one step back at a time. You didn’t have a choice now, you needed to get into some kind of clearing for visibility’s sake. You need a clear shot at whatever it is that's out here with you. One more slow step–

SNAP

Your heart jumps to your throat with the sound echoing through the trees like a damn gunshot, you don’t even have time to register if it came from you, or someone else before you see a shape dart past the trees again. Much closer this time. 

You shoot blindly in the direction you think it went, but nothing but bark splitters from your shot. You don’t waste a second before turning around and sprinting as quick as you can towards the creek, the child pressed tight against you. 

And then you find yourself hoping the Mandalorian reaches you quicker than you originally were hoping when you hear whatever it is following close behind you, snapping through the branches and tearing through the bark behind you. You don’t even turn to look, you just need to get out of there, and fast. 

You dip frantically between trees, under branches, and over roots. You’re not even sure you’re heading in the right direction. Your vision tunnels to any clear space between two trees and can dive through. The child in your arms lets out small sounds of distress and you can only keep your clutch on him as you keep running, the creature only a few paces behind you. 

You think you can see a clearing ahead of you, just a few feet away where the light coming through the line of trees seems brighter than anywhere else in the forest. You quickly pick up the pace, careful to avoid colliding directly with any foliage. You hear him before you see him, the Mandalorian is catching up, you can hear his rising phoenix somewhere above the treeline, and he’s close. Thank the Maker. He shouts to you when he catches sight of you and dives down into the treeline to grab you. 

You hear whatever it is behind you let out a horrible screeching sound, and it sends a chill through your bones. You hear it crashing through the trees behind, the horrible rip and tear through the bark and the snapping beneath its weight just as the Mandalorian reaches to grab you. You turn your head for just a moment, you want to know how close it is, want to know what it is that's following you. 

What a mistake that was. 

You instantly trip just before the Mandalorian can grab you, and by instinct you reach out and grab at him, snatch a handful of the cape bunched up by his neck in an attempt to catch yourself. Instead you throw him off balance and next thing you know, you’re both tumbling through the forest floor, in the chaos hes not able to disable his boosters, so the both of you end up slamming tree, against tree, before quickly being redirected in a different direction, like Mandalorian pinball.

 You’re spinning and tumbling so fast you can’t even see where you are or what's going on, the only thing you can hear above the roar of his rising phoenix is the pained grunts from him and yourself and a shriek from the child. It’s a blur of brown and green and grey, and you think you're going to be sick until suddenly there’s a long flash of blue–and you realize you're free falling. What you know must be seconds feels like eternity as the three of you burst through the treeline, and directly off a cliff. The air stops short in your lungs, stolen away in the sudden loss of gravity.

With the three of you still spinning, your free fall is short lived, his boosters end up accelerating you in the wrong direction, and you go slamming painfully right into the rocky cliff side. You aren’t really sure what happens next. You get a couple flashes of brown, dirt filling into your helmet, pain, and the repeated reminder to protect the kid at all costs. 

-----------------------------------------------------

You startle awake on the dirt ground, your heart kickstarts back to what it was during the chase, and you scramble to try to get to your feet in a panic. 

“Relax. You’re safe.” A familiar modulated voice tells you, and you shoot your gaze over to see the Mandalorian sitting on the other side of the fire. 

Fire? You realize you can’t see shit. Your visor is caked in so much dirt from the fall it's making the picture all blown out and fuzzy. You quickly run your gloved hand over the front and wipe away what you can for the moment. 

You take a quick look around and realize not only is it dark out now, but you’ve been out long enough for the Mandalorian to clear out a small camp and assemble a fire. He’s got his pack open, his medkit out and rummaged through, you see why when you notice the kid with a couple bandages sitting happily next to him kicking his feet while he pokes at the fire with a long stick. 

You slowly relax and settle down to sit on the dirt, sticking one leg out in front of you when you realize how much pain you're in.

“How long was I out for?” You ask, absentmindedly running a hand over your right arm to make sure you’re still intact. 

“Few hours.” He replies plainly, watching the kid intently probably to make sure he doesn’t burn himself. 

You groan and lay back down onto your back. Maker, everything hurts. You feel like that's becoming more common these days, more often than not you and the Mandalorian are getting into some kind of trouble that results in either you, him, or the both of you seriously beat up. You’re exhausted. 

“Get some rest.” He finally looks up at you, “It’s best we stay here until morning.” 

You loll your helmet in his direction, feeling the dirt grind against the back of it, “you seemed like you were in a rush to get out of here earlier, now you want to stay until morning?” 

He tilts his helmet to motion to where his rising phoenix sits propped up next to him.

“Rising Phoenix got damaged in the crash.” He looks in the direction you assume the three of you fell from, “It’s going to take us a couple days to get out of here.”

You sigh and look up towards the stars twinkling in the distance. 

“So much for an easy job” You scoff to yourself, and the Mandalorian hums in agreement. 

You listen to the crackle of the flames from the fire, as you continue to stare out to the stars. You shift your eyes, without moving your helmet to watch the Mandalorian and the child out of the corner of your visor undetected. You can’t help but be intrigued by him, he sits intently watching the fire appearing as calm as ever. You can see his chestplate move slightly with each breath he takes, the reflection of the flame shifting slightly as he breathes. 

It amazes you, how calm and collected he can be after everything that just happened, how he manages to stay so put together despite everything going to shit. Then you remember how he sounded earlier, how his voice sounded earlier today–panicked and urgent. You find it weird he hasn’t mentioned anything about it yet.

“What happened out there?” You finally decide to ask, “When you were out there alone, why did you comm me?” 

He doesn’t look up from the fire, continues peering into the flames.

“I saw something.” He tells you, “I’m not so sure it’s as relevant as I first thought though.”

You wait for him to elaborate, but he doesn’t and the two of you sit in silence longer than you’d like. 

“Well…what was it?” You finally ask, turning your head to look at him fully.

He looks up from the flames for a moment to regard you, as if debating whether or not to tell you, and you find yourself growing impatient. You feel the two of you have been through enough that he can trust you. Not to mention whatever it was seemed pretty serious, you feel like you have a right to know.

“I saw an imperial shuttle in the forest.” He finally relents. 

“Imperial?” You immediately sit up to face him fully. You find yourself even more confused now, a million questions burning on the back of your tongue, “The empire is long gone, it was probably abandoned.” You try to reason.

“No. The empire is very much alive.” He’s quick to assure you, “The ship was operational, just idle. I saw heat signatures from where I was hiding out. I couldn’t get close, I didn't want to risk it.” You sit there perplexed for a moment. You find yourself with more and more questions with each passing moment. You had heard of some remaining imperials scattered throughout the galaxy, but nothing to be worried about as far as you knew. And what would they be doing here? More importantly, why would this shake him up to that degree? 

It’s only at this moment you realize just how much you still don’t know about him.

“Do you…have trouble with the empire?” You ask with a slight tilt of your helmet. You were desperate for information, but you didn’t want to press any further than necessary, worried he might shut down completely if you try your luck. 

“They’re after the kid.” He nods in the direction of the child, “An imperial warlord by the name of Moff Gideon has been after us since I took the child in my care.” He turns back to face you fully. 

“When I saw it and realized it was operational, I got worried this job was a setup to get the kid.” He explains.

Suddenly everything makes a little more sense now. His sense of urgency, his worry about the child…But to think this whole time you’ve been traveling with him he never once brought it up.

“What do they want with him?” You watch as the child in question tilts his head at you with an inquisitive stare. 

“Not sure,” The Mandalorian admits, “But I assume it has something to do with his powers.” 

“Powers?” You nearly shout in shock, “What do you mean ‘powers’?!” 

“It’s why I’m looking for a jedi to take him on.” 

You sit there absolutely dumbfounded. You’ve been traveling with the two of them for months now and somehow this is the first time you’re hearing about any of this. 

“Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?” 

“It didn’t come up.” 

“I feel like that is important information for me to know.” 

He stays silent for a long while, and you think that might be the end of the conversation until he speaks up. 

“I’m sorry.” He starts, looking back to the fire, "You’re right, that is important information for you to know if you're going to be traveling with us.” He pauses and looks back to you, “I didn’t think about it especially with everything else going on, so I’m sorry.”

You stare back at him in disbelief. It felt sort of out of character for him, or at least…felt out of character for how you imagine him. Ultimately, it didn’t change anything. The reality is you’ve been unknowingly putting yourself at risk by traveling with him, making yourself a target to the empire just by working with him. You don’t really care though. You appreciate his apology more than you thought you would. You feel like if a similar conversation would have happened earlier in your time traveling together, he would have doubled down and not admitted fault or acknowledged your feelings. More than that, you're surprised how readily you're willing to fully accept his apology. 

It’s interesting just how quickly things between you evolved, you wonder how much of it is him and how much of it is just you. A part of you knows you are particularly critical of him, resistant to see the best in him. You can’t help it. You find it so difficult these days to fully trust anyone, especially him, and you’re realizing how much the two are still truly getting to know each other. So much of him is still shrouded in mystery for you, like some kind of armored enigma that simply exists next to you. 

It doesn’t help that some part of your brain still hasn’t fully registered the reality of him–he doesn’t feel real. You don’t fully comprehend that he’s a person under all that armor, that he too has thoughts, feelings, and memories as complex as your own, that his heart probably pounds as much as yours does in times of stress. 

You’re realizing this whole time you’ve been almost defiantly resistant to seeing him as a person, you see him more like a passing shadow, a ghost, noise in the background of things you have to do. He’s just kind of…there. Like one day you’ll wake up alone in your old ship again, like him and the kid never truly existed in your life. It all feels so…temporary, you realize. Him, the kid, you, the job–like nothing has any real consequence, like you’re just going through the motions now…

“It’s okay.” You finally tell him with a nod, “We’ve been busy.” Your gaze settles into the flames in front of you. You watch as the flames dance and shake, the wood pops and small embers quickly dissipate as they hit the cold air. He doesn’t say anything back, and the two of you sit in silence for a long while. 

“Did you see what it was?” You finally ask, bringing yourself back to the present, and feeling the need to fill the silence.

He doesn’t reply, just looks back up at you, as if wordlessly asking for you to elaborate. 

“The creature that was after us. Did you see what it was?” 

“Didn’t get a good look at it.” He admits, “What information did you get when you first heard about it?” 

You shake your head, “The manager at the coffee shop just said it was a customer rumor. I never had a description other than what the mayor gave us.” 

He makes a noise in acknowledgement, returning his gaze to the flame. 

“Why did you go to a coffee shop if you hate caf?” He suddenly asks you out of nowhere, and you’re blindsided.

You freeze. How do you even begin to explain it to him? There's no way he would understand. You aren’t even necessarily sure you know yourself. It feels so ridiculous if you were being honest with yourself. You weren’t really thinking about the job at all, just reminiscing about when life was more simple, when life was easy. When it felt like you had no worries other than being bored. 

You stare into the orange flame of the fire between you. 

Your earlier reflection weighs heavy on your mind.

Temporary.

The word echoes in your mind and you let out a deep breath. 

“Felt like home.” You finally admit. You reduce all your complex thoughts and feelings of longing and nostalgia into those three words. You still aren’t sure he’ll understand, but you figure it’s better than leaving him waiting. 

You sit for a second in the silence, you think back to your time on Naboo, the time you feel like the trust between the two of you peaked, when you were at your most vulnerable and he met you halfway. When you spilled your tears on his shoulder, and he only pulled you in closer. When you half-dazed and nearly drunk, sobbed your feelings into his arms and he readily held them for you while he walked you back to the ship, comforting you with understanding and words that you still repeat to yourself on occasion. 

Temporary…

You think again, but you realize it only feels that way because you make it that way. You put up walls and avoid the truth. You haven’t bothered to see him as a person because you were avoiding him . You didn’t want to see him or the kid as anything other than temporary. 

But you made a choice. You made the choice to continue to travel with them, you made the choice to stay . 

You take a deep breath in.  

“My um… my parents were mechanics. I hated the work, so I used to run a little caf take-out window out the side of my parents' hangar.” You force yourself to open up. Decide at that moment to make a conscious effort. 

He tilts his head at that. You worry for a second he can hear your thoughts, that he knows the internal struggle you just went through, and is caught off guard by the fact you’re deciding to open up.

“Why, if you don’t like caf?” He asks.

You find yourself chuckling both in relief that he can’t hear your thoughts, and the simplicity of the question.

“I used to love it,” You explain, looking down at your dirty, gloved hands, “Used to love the taste, the smell, making it–I loved everything about it. I was always trying to come up with new things to try, find new ways to brew it, and find what tasted best. I took a lot of pride in my work.” 

He watches you closely while you speak, but doesn’t say anything. He just…let’s you talk. He waits for you to elaborate, to tell more about whatever information you’re willing to offer. If you didn’t know any better, you would think it’s because he likes hearing you talk, that he also wants to get to know you better and open up. 

“And I loved my customers.” You continue unprompted, “ I was in a commuter town, and because of my parents’ hangar, a lot of the customers who stopped by were only there while they waited for repairs or fuel. At the time I had never been off-world, so I would always pester them to hear their stories about the rest of the galaxy.” You can’t help the smile that forms on your face as your reminisce. 

“What changed?” He asks. 

You find yourself caught off guard, your smile quickly fading. You feel all your walls suddenly come back up at once. It’s not his fault, and you know that, but it was too much for you to unpack yourself, let alone to him. You clasp your hands together and squeeze, your gloves straining at the force. The sour feeling in your stomach returning all at once.

“Too much.” Is all you offer him, looking down at the ground besides you, avoiding his gaze.

he doesn't pry. Part of you hopes that since Naboo, the two of you have gotten better at figuring out each other's boundaries–when it's okay to ask questions, and when it's best to let the silence settle. You hope he doesn’t take it personally. That he understands that you each had your own struggles and traumas to work through, and that you respected one another to give the space to do that. 

"we should get some rest." he reminds you, more gentle this time. 

You give him a silent nod of your helmet and settle back into the dirt. you watch out of the corner of your eye as the Mandalorian does the same, laying on his back into the dirt but shoving his pack underneath his helmet for a makeshift pillow. The kid is quick to follow, nestling in the crook of his arm. which the Mandalorian is quick to pull him into his side. you watch as the kid lets out a little yawn before his eyes quickly begin to fall shut. 

It wasn't exactly ideal, sleeping in the dirt like this, but the warmth of the fire is a luxury you will never take for granted. you rest your hands over your stomach as you peer back out into the starry night sky. It's funny, knowing that one of those stars is your old home. it still feels unreal to you still. that somewhere, on one of those tiny specs of light, your hometown rests without you. 

you can feel the dirt caked under your clothes, an uncomfortable grit under your gloves between your fingers, at the edges of your boots, scratching at your neck between the fabric of your under clothes. you take a deep breath, trying to close your eyes to sleep, but instead finding them open again, full of starlight. 

involuntarily your mind wanders to home, to your little caf window. You wonder if it's still there, if your parents kept it or just started using it for storage. you wonder how your favorite regulars are doing–if they're still alive, if anyone in your hometown thinks about you at all, or miss the taste of your caf, or if they simply found somewhere else to get it. 

Your thoughts float to your favorite regular. The one who you would wait weeks–sometimes months in anticipation for them to show up again, the one you would go out of your way to make their drink extra special when they stopped by, get caught up talking to for hours, and rarely ever charge, despite them trying to pay you anyway…

***

"Is it too late for me to buy a cup of caf from you?" a voice rings out from the customer window.

you reply with your back turned as you finish dumping the cleaner from one of your brewers, "I'm so sorry but unfortunately I am closed for the night–" you turn to address them fully, but freeze in your tracks when you see a familiar armored figure leaning against the window frame, holding your curtain open just enough for him.

"Hey..." he says quietly, almost shy when you turn to face him, trying to play it cool.

"Ko'van?" you gasp excitedly, dropping everything to rush over to the window, leaning enthusiastically over the counter, "What are you doing here?"

He chuckles lightly, "Well, funny thing…you see, I was working a job in the outer rim and my ship just so happened to get caught up in an asteroid field. Sooo I figured since I needed some repairs anyway, I uh…" his tone lowers to something much softer, much more genuine, "I figured I would stop by to pay you a visit." he leans forward a bit closer to you over the counter. 

your heartbeat quickly picks up at the change in his tone and the sudden proximity. You find yourself completely in awe whenever you see him again, like you're seeing him for the first time, like you forget what it's like to be in his presence, drawn to him like a magnet, the haunting void of his visor, the intimidating nature of the armor.

But then a playful smile fills your features. you see right through him.

"There's nothing wrong with your ship is there?" You squint at him, leaning in a little further, accusatory. 

He looks taken aback for a second, caught off guard by your accusation, and he fumbles, "w-what? of course there's something wrong with my ship, I told you, I got caught up in an asteroid field–" 

"You also told me you're an exceptionally skilled pilot…" You stand straighter, crossing your arms in front of you, reminding him of his attempts to brag the last time he visited, "so either you aren't as skilled as you say you are…"

He goes to defend himself, but you cut him off before he can, "Or," you uncross your arms, leaning across the counter again with a soft smile, "You just needed an excuse to come see me again." 

His shoulders instantly relax, letting out a breath as shakes his head with a quiet chuckle. 

"So, can I still get some caf?" he tilts his helmet playfully, effectively admitting defeat by changing the subject. 

"You hate caf." you laugh.

"I like it when you make it." his voice drops to a more flirtatious tone, and he leans in, an arm propped up on the frame of your window.

"I'm closed." you pretend to be annoyed, turning around to wipe down a counter.

"What time are you off then?" 

you pause wiping the counter, smiling wide to yourself. It was impossible to resist him. With a deep breath in, you throw your rag over your shoulder, turning back around to face him fully. 

"I can try to wrap everything up ten, is that okay?" 

"I'd wait years if you asked me to." 

"Would you shut up?" you laugh balling up your rag and chucking it at him playfully.

 he catches it with a laugh, and carefully sets it back down on your counter. 

"I'll see you in a bit." he tells you enthusiastically. he lingers just a moment longer, hesitating, just watching you, like he can’t bear to be away from you, before he finally lets the curtain to your window close, and waits for you to finish closing.

***

SNAP 

You shoot awake at the sound, not realizing you had dozed off. The Mandalorian is already on high alert, blaster drawn and the child pulled tight in his arm. 

“What was that?” You try to ask, still trying to regain your bearings as you hear more rustling through the treeline. 

The Mandalorian doesn’t look at you, he keeps his visor trained on the treeline, focusing. The rustling continues, circling the treeline around the clearing of your camp. It sounded big and just as you put the pieces together, the Mandalorian’s voice drops down to a dangerous level as if reading your mind…

"it's back." 

*** Prev - MASTER - Next (coming soon!) Taglist: @mysun-n-stars , @tanzthompson , @janebby , @um-well

[felixxthefrog]

sometimes, im not sure if healing is the right word.

when im talking to my friends or myself, i refer to what im doing as "healing from my religious trauma". i sometimes like to think of it as tending to my wounds, wounds inflicted upon me by my church, by myself, by my family. washing them, patting them dry, applying a salve to them every day. slow and painful, but eventually they'll close and fade to a scar. and maybe one day, those scars will fade to nothingness.

as i go on, however, i find myself doubting that imagery. i am starting to feel that that in itself is rooted in my upbringing under christianity. the idea that eventually you will be healed, better, pure, saved, by god, by father, by creator, by the ultimate love and power. is it that simple? that clean? that kind?

am i healing? i dont feel like im healing. i dont feel like i'll ever heal. i feel like im tearing barbed arrows from my skin. when i find another, i poke around, see if there's any other way i can do this. i search, desperate, hoping it wont be painful this time. but it always is. it always has to be, doesnt it? that's the point of religion. to make sure that leaving it is more painful than staying in it.

when i come to terms with the fact that i will have to pull the arrows out, i cant help but maybe mourn a little bit. sometimes i think my skin is a tree, because i look at the arrow that's been there a decade or more, and my skin has stared to grow around it. the arrow looks half engulfed, not just embedded, but it seems to be becoming a part of my body.

i cant help but fear pulling it out. searing pain, tearing skin, muscles ripped, tendons snapping, fiery poison pulsing through veins. i'll grind my teeth to dust and twist my face in a knot and hold my breath to stop from screaming. through it all, i still must stop myself from begging for attention. ripping it out sounds appealing, but i know i cant. i shouldnt.

i must be gentle - in the past, i have gone to pull an arrow from my skin and i have broken the shaft. the wood splintered in my hands and i threw it to the ground, trying to move on to another arrow because i cant be bothered with nonsense like this, splintered arrows and flint heads still stuck under my skin.

later when i went back to the arrow with the shattered shaft, i saw that it had dug in deeper. around the wound were two dozen splinters and matching open wounds, red and inflamed, tender and painful, infected, growing. worsening. the original arrowhead had been engulfed by my skin and now i must cut my skin open and peel it back, poking and prodding with forceps to try and free it from its new home within my body. as i gaze at my skin, i am reminded of my anatomy class. the rat i pinned to the mat and flayed, inspecting every part of it to learn how it functioned. at least i am experienced.

the wound is still infected. i have removed the arrow head, but those splinters, theyre slippery. i look around and see half a dozen more broken, splintered arrows; a dozen more arrows untouched; a hundred tiny splinters scattered around my body, embedded in my skin. they are numerous and countless and neverending.

i am out of the warzone now, i am no longer getting bombarded with arrows, i am no longer actively dying, i am no longer beaten and bruised and damn-near lifeless on the battlefield in the hold righteous name of the almighty, i am no longer a sacrifice, but i AM sacrificed. i was. i always was. i was a lamb raised to be blemishless, taking pride in the neatness in my coat, ignoring the blood that had stained it from birth and that would stain my own hands at death.

i was never blameless. i was never blemishless. i was raised for a merciful slaughter and instead became a soldier, unwilling, unknowing, thinking this was what sheep were made for. his staff around my neck did not keep me back from the cliff, it bruised and strangled me so i could not jump over the fence. it seemed so peaceful there. the war was not raging on the other side.

but the war followed me. the wounds never left. it's not healing, is it? not really. even if my wounds heal, i will forver be deformed and broken, debilitated, unworthy. what is worthy? was i worthy of war? am i worthy of peace? healing? how will i ever get these arrows out? the splinters? will the scars ever fade?

[rogdona]

Look man- just wanna say your art is literally gorgeous bro- It's very catchy and cool- but uh- that aside- I hope ya don't mind the question- but would ya mind giving some few tips on how to draw anatomy and how you color? because your art is so pleasing to look at- like bruh it's so pretty-

first of all THANK UUUUU!!!! im sososos happy u like my art!!!!!!!!!💕🌺🌷💕🌺🌷💕🌺🌷❤️♥️💕🌺🌷💕♥️❤️🌹🌹❤️♥️🌺💕!!!!!

i dont mind the question at all!! ill give u some tips on how i draw!!

BTW! these are just some tips ab what i do to draw the way i do, this is not an universal rule let alone mandatory!!

NOW ONTO THE STUFF U CAME FOR! under a read more so i dont clog ur dash bc i got kinda tecnical w some of it..! IT GOT WAY TOO LONG IM SORRY!!!

lets start with color then!! 🎨

i always see ppl saying that color theory is rlly hard and they never understand it, and tbh u dont need to learn it in depth at all!!

to make colors look good you need to think them as a group instead of choosing them individually...

though what i do is different, theres a post going around that says tinting all the colors w one brings the drawing together, and it does!! its a p good tip if u dont want to eyeball it like i do!!

but heres my process; lets say u have a sketch and an idea of what colors you want; your character is in a forest walking through the trees! what i do is choose background color and start from there

if you chose a cool color, when you start painting the rest of the picture drag the hue a little closer to blue or purple! if you chose a warm one, closer to yellow or red! if you want your drawing to have a greenish tint drag it closer to green or yellow! you get the gist of it, bring the colors closer! if theyre on opposite sides of the wheel it might be difficult, but usually bringing them closer to gray does a good job!!

also unless youre trying to get contrast on purpose, choosing colors w similar saturation(intensity!) helps unify the drawing!

say you want a drawing that is mostly grayish tones, make sure all your colors are desaturated (less intense, pigmented)

-

now say you have an existing character w a set color palette (we'll take my character elias as an example) and want to draw him in green and yellow or bright magenta and blue

i saw this explanation on a tiktok long ago but i literally cannot word it better and found it real useful

to translate the colors properly u need to think them on a scale, which ones are the darkest, lightest, and where does the rest sit?? Once you have that you can make ur own scale w the colors you want to use, and as long as the difference between the colors stay mostly the same u will be able to translate them p much to whatever!!

my drawing was done quickly so its not the best example but u get me

i think thats it for color now, but if i think of something else ill add it and tell u!!

now onto anatomy 🧍🧍‍♀️🧍‍♂️

and ill be honest w u here, i have no clue how i learned anatomy, let alone how to teach u but ill try my best here!!

and tbh, learning every bone, muscle, etc is smth rlly tedious to me so i cannot assist u there bc i dont know

ALSOO references are ur best buddy, use them!! even if its not the exact pose or angle ur wanting to draw it can help u visualize what u want and tell u what goes where!!

even if its not for the pose or angle, a skeleton can help u see how the body part works!! i look at animal skeleton legs all the time to help me draw my ocs!!!

but yeah!! i think anatomy is smth that u shouldnt take very seriously bc most of what gives personality to characters is exageration!! or made up parts!!

but like, if u want to know my way of drawing smth specific u can tell me!! i have no problem showing u how i do things!!

but since i wasnt very helpful when it comes to anatomy, im taking the liberty of adding an extra bullet point to the post

composition!! 🌇🌃🌆🏙️

composition is the way you show the image, how you place things in your drawing!!

in school they make us take audio-visual production classes, which truly isnt as interesting as it sounds but they taught us some p cool photography tips that also apply to drawings!!

one of them is the rule of thirds! basically, you divide the canvas in 9 equal parts, and the places where the lines join are the places where the eyes are most drawn to!! heres an example i found on the internet

so if you place something on those spots it will get the attention, bc the brain is used to the focus being on the center so taking it out of there makes u want to look why (or at least thats the explanation they gave me!)

also, to draw even more attention to those spots u can make a visual path that leads there!! here some crude examples by yours truly

the first one traces a path up to his head, the second one all start from there outwards

they also gave us tips for cropping images though these dont rlly matter that much, but like for example it looks better if u dont crop it at the joints, and if a character is looking somewhere you should leave some space in the direction they are looking to! heres some doodles to show u what i mean

i used to have a document full of things like that for photography but i cant find it rn, if i do ill tell u!!

moving onto the final thing, this is not quite a composition thing but rather something to give characters more personality: make them interact w their enviroment!

rather than standing looking at the camera make them use, touch, see whats around them, even if u draw them in a blank space the way they take it up shows u a lot ab them

for ex, if theres a wall they can lean on it, if theres a window they can be looking through it(maybe u can see them from the outside! framing inside framing was also smth that they taught us in that class!) if theyre standing they can be fixing their sleeves, holding their hands behind their back, tucking a strand of hair behind their ear, scratching their neck, etc!

AND YEAH!! thats what i keep in thought when i draw!! i hope u find it at least a little useful or interesting ahdhjska ill admit i got a little carried away but i love drawing and these are topics that interest me

ty for the ask!!! 💕 👋

[trickstarbrave]

after playing morrowind (im not finished i am just too exhausted to play rn) i am just overwhelmed with the desire to take a hammer to skyrim, rip it up, and build smth new

i dont hate the setting of skyrim. i dont hate the main ideas behind it. i just think it was done dirty by oversimplification of the plot progression. the way it is structured and written feels like it presumed the player is a lazy moron incapable of thinking things through or making choices. there is rarely ever 2 ways to solve a problem. not to mention it is mostly annoying dungeon crawling with little justification. just go to this nordic tomb and get this thing. only exceptions are thieves guild and dark brotherhood missions only because it would make less than 0 sense. but the mages college? main story? BARDS COLLEGE? dungeon crawling baby hope you arent fucking sick of draugar by now bc you’ll be seeing a bunch of them. most of the time in morrowind i wasn’t in random dungeons or caves. people sent me to track down other people, solve problems for them. you can wipe out a mine or you can extort money from the owner. you can talk your way out of problems. in some sections you can kill ppl annoying you who wont name you horator.

some suggestions i have to make skyrim feel more alive and complex (under the cut bc i wrote too much) based on now other elder scrolls games so i know these things arent impossible or never occurred to anyone at bethesda:

>reputation and disposition should come back. why are these random ppl answering all my questions? if im a nobody except named dragonborn by some monks in a monastery no one really does to, why does anyone give a shit i say stop the civil war?

>much like the nerevarine, people don’t believe you are dragonborn right off the bat. hell, even if they DO, that doesn’t make you THE dragonborn. many dragonborns have exists. you claiming to be one more so makes you a potential problem for politics--the empire could be weary of you trying to drum up support to overthrow the empire, something they DONT NEED. the monks meanwhile ask you to do a VARIETY of spiritual tasks before they will begin training you. gather artifacts not just in tombs. go to various locations around the world. after every shout they teach you they don’t just give you a tutorial but then set you on a clear task to use it. maybe i need to go find a fox that is an avatar of lorkhan, or travel to that tree to speak to kyne. and even after they name you dragonborn, see above, not everyone is going to agree with their judgement or necessarily care. but also if you DO prove yourself, you could gain a lot of respect and reputation around various factions. this would also incentivize exploring instead of just fast traveling to your next dungeon.

>a dragon cult that isn’t undead as an overworld faction. im sick and tired of all dragons being mindless killing machines with few exceptions. im sick of all the dragon cultists being basically zombies and liches. if theyre a real threat, they should have a bigger presence. dragons taking over towns and small settlements where there are acting priests or priests in training. cultists taking people captive. draugar waking from their tombs and wandering into town to kill people. make them a third player in the ‘civil war’. maybe some dragons ruling these towns dont even kill you on sight--to them you are a weak little baby dragon who poses no threat. the soul of a human in a weak, fragile body who does not understand what true power you could attain, a pitiful creature who doesn’t even know flight or the full extent of their knowledge. they are sentient beings with their own culture and ideas after all. and the cultists could have a very real motivations for joining like being fed up with both the empire AND stormcloaks, or not wanting to be the next helgen.

>i actually liked morrowind’s dialogue system ngl. i understand the limitations of a fully verse voice cast, but they already reuse voices and dialogue. i wish we could just ask more conversation topics and get more varied answers. weird responses from npcs made interacting with characters more memorable and enjoyable than a basic stupid fetch quest. caius being like “uhhh you’re starting to scare me” when i questioned him about my weird dreams made it feel like we were actually having a conversation and i was asking questions not just “this is scripted dialogue and i am basically a story prop with no thoughts or feelings” like i often get in skyrim (with a few exceptions)

>more weird shit. frankly we just need more weird shit in skyrim. i wanna see funny in jokes or weird things that add depth. there is no scamp serving drinks or a sheogorath cultist that only meows. no woman on the side of the road who fell in love with the rogue that robbed her and begs me to reunite them. i want more intentionally weird things. no necrophiliac saying “im not a necrophiliac BUT what is the punishment if you were one lol”. no town based off of lovecraft’s work in the middle of nowhere. the elder scrolls series used to have SO MANY weird things in it and frankly those were the best parts.

>the blades should be introduced later. I think, as annoying as it might be, you should only be contacted by Delphine when you have enough reputation in the world. she’s supposed to be a cautious woman. why leave a note like that in a random tomb and then have you do a test AFTER revealing she’s a blade basically. she holds the key to moving forward, only after you do various tasks for her that you then realize only after the fact was gathering up various blades members who are in hiding. i know the network is being hunted down, but i think there should be more than like. 2. give us some people pretending to be crazy skooma junkies, or people who have integrated themselves into various jarls’ courts. she seems like a random innkeeper with a penchant for archaeology and might have secrets of the dragons you’re looking for, asking you to deliver mail in exchange for some information, but in reality you’re contacting her allies she hasn’t been able to speak with out of fear because by this point she thinks you won’t be killed by the thalmor very easily or are a plant for them.

>breaking into the thalmor embassy should just be redone or have multiple ways of going about it tbh. i can also be the most stealthy person alive literally invisible yet the thalmor just fucking know i am a spy and they have captured my accomplice so it doesnt matter if i hack and slash my way out of there or not. so it just feels like a lazy way of trying to be interesting while giving you basically nothing they couldnt have done another way. all you learn is esbern is alive and the thalmor have manipulated ulfric against his will for their own agenda and dont know shit about dragons. why would they EVEN KNOW ABOUT THE DRAGONS I DONT GET IT. it doesnt make the thamlor seem more intimidating, doesn’t teach us anything about their goals, nothing.

>furthermore the blades’ motivations and history should be told more clearly. after the septims they basically refused to directly serve the emperor apparently. but their spy network was still there for 170 years???? they still served in the army???? why do the thalmor wanna hunt them down if they don’t seem to like the current empire either. i know its to fuck over the empire and tie them in like previous games but the blades were already a cool intelligence gathering faction living covertly among the people to monitor various powers for the benefit of the empire and emperor. if they are a threat to the thalmor still, why have them have a fall from grace prior to this? why are they even still working for the empire? if anything they should have been using this dynasty’s imperial family as puppet rulers after the whole oblivion gates thing. see above: even if the thalmor have been hunting them i find it hard to believe there are only fucking 2 left. the blades were pervasive in the empire. most having been wiped out doesnt leave only 2 left. there should be more. enough to give them weight.

>redo the mages guild entirely. and most faction guild questlines but ESPECIALLY mages guild. bring back needing a staff. rising in ranks bc you had to do things for the guild and work at it and level up your skills. how am i archmage when i know like 5 spells? what??? i also think there should be more outposts for the college across skyrim. “but the nords hate magic” well having more mages around would certainly show that more wouldn’t it???? have there be tension still. random mages hating being assigned outside the college bc nords are assholes. preferring places close to the border or solitude where they are less in the heartland of nord pride. there being shut down mages guild buildings in some areas left abandoned.

>bigger guilds. bigger towns. i dont need daggerfall sized cities but at least oblivion or morrowind sizes. yknow. just bigger. i feel like we were allowed stuff like guild outposts bc of the town sizes. whiterun does not feel like a hub of trade. its rarely even mentioned despite it being a key point of the civil war both sides want for that reason.

>more settlements and places. vvardenfell is smaller than skyrim. why is there more shit to do. more places to be with more variety and interest. fix that too

>civil war needs to be redone in the fact there is frankly nothing to do. use the camps and outposts. have us clear out bandits to make a new base. negotiate trade. escort caravans that carry supply. take out smuggling operations. spy on the other side using their armor. we have bits of this with taking out agents and stealing papers but i want More. also ideally have different play-styles incorporated into it like you can be an archer, or steal and gather intelligence, or even just different ways to solve the same problems. maybe you threaten someone selling supplies to the other side, or kill them, or destroy their business, or convince them not to. you burn enemy fields so their troops have less food in a really fucked up battle system, or you can refuse those orders if you find them morally repugnant and either get punished for it or have to find a work around through another commanding officer who gives you an alternative. consciously make the choice to just follow orders or think through your actions and refuse. war is ugly and some sides will do anything to win. wouldnt it be interesting to fight dirty one playthrough and the next choose to try and only fight fair and just?

>i know some characters must die because the plot has demanded it. but frankly i feel it is overused sometimes. mages guild, companions, etc. you are promoted bc everyone else died or whatever. can i save them even if i like them as characters? no. nothing i can do can change that for them, even if them being alive could very well be possible and interesting. exception to this is the woman abt to be murdered in markarth when you walk in. why CANT i save skjor if i am fast enough. why cant my choices effect if the arch mage dies or not. it doesnt matter what i do or how fast i do it, they die, so whats the point of trying to do it different ways or try harder. see above for how you always get caught along with your accomplice when breaking into the embassy. it just robs the player of agency. their choices, performance, play style, and skills don’t matter. they will always be arbitrarily rewarded or punished in the linear narrative the devs have decided to make things as simple as possible bc every day people cant make choices and think things through or accept consequences of their actions they might have to live with. they cant want to craft their own narrative, it needs to be as simple as possible, people only like simple things.

if i think of more i can add more but most of these things have core issues behind them that i think if addressed could fix large swaths of issues.

[cheap-spirits]

“The high priestess walked onto the stone platform and raised her hands above her head. The folds of her midnight blue gossamer robe fell around her, and her white hair was long and unbound. An eight pointed star was tattooed on her brow in a shade of blue that matched her gown. Its sharp lines extending to her hairline.

“Welcome all and may the blessings of the goddess and all her gods be upon you”

- chapter 38 of Throne of Glass

(if anyone has the page number be a legend and lmk im listening to the audiobook for this) ((yes i paused after every sentence to get this right if its not the exact quote please dont yell at me im trying my best here)

BIG ASS SLEEPY RAMBLE UNDER THE CUT WITH SPOILERS FOR ALL SJM BOOKS

Uhhhhh 8 pointed star, blue priestess robes AND a goddess figure that has been described earlier as coming to this world through the wyrd to shape it. (Also possibly had been referred to as the mother but again sleepy and audiobook)

So this is the yulemas ceremony in the first tog book, iconic scene, buuut ive never seen anyone bring up this exact description before. Now i know its easy to just make connections out of nothing and who knows sjm might just really like 8 pointed stars and the colour blue but i kinda really hope that now tog and cc are confirmed to be connected (the og shifter world AND lidias heritage) that there will be more development.

Caaaaauuuuuuuse i want to know if the valg were asteri or if they were like diet asteri, i want to know how the mother connects these three worlds cause it absolutely is the mother that is mentioned as the goddess cause who the fuck else is it??? Most of the other gods and goddesses are mentioned by name and are actually from a different world (i also want to know more about that, what world did they come from are THEY the asteri????) i want to know more about the 8 pointed stars and how it fits into the tog world, we know the sisters both made the stars in cc and acotar worlds respectively but HOW DID IT GET TO THE TOG WORLD??? I want to know more about world walking, it was mentioned in lidias exposition dump about her lineage so that makes me think that aelin mastered it somehow and taught her descendants and lidia is a descendant but that also raises questions cause if i remember correctly (and im tired so im probably not please feel free to correct me) aelin closed all the connections to other worlds but then bryce was able to open a portal to prythian. BUT theres also the thought that lidia is from a different branch of aelins family tree that split off at an earlier point in time, but they also wouldve had to master world walking for it to be passed down in knowledge to lidia. (I personally think lidia is aelins descendant cause she gave the ring to the twins that is the ring aelin picked out i think….lot of potential misremembering here but i think the ring aelin picked was an emerald and i think thats the ring she gave the twins) I also want more information about the barrowhite becoming the underking, like how the fuck did they end up in CC and how the fuck did they end up in such a power position and just what??? ALSO the witches??? How are they so different in TOG and CC??? Unless theyre from different worlds but like where did the cc witches come from? Did they come from the ACOTAR world?? But still the description of the witches in acotar is so different to the cc witches and i just need more information. SJM please help i need more information i am begging im going insane i need MORE LORE!!!!

idk its all very confusing i really need to start taking notes when i read these books cause either im a dumbass and can’t remember or understand what happened or sjm has rewrote history and logic and honestly both could be true simultaneously. There’s probably more but like i said i sleepy and i have so much uni work to do and im on the first book, thank you for reading this if you got to the end, think i might crack out the conspiracy board over summer as a way to cope with finishing uni forever and becoming a real adult. ALSO if you read this please gimme your thoughts and questions to add to the conspiracy board that i absolutely will make but may just end up being in a sketchbook cause i have hundreds of them and boards are expensive

Oh also i think the single goddess figure with other gods below her is only mentioned in this book, i could be wrong (again i can only apologise i am ✨tired✨) but it had also been mentioned a few times in the og tog book

[riverstardis]

what lurks in the heart:

poor dylan :(

aw his flip phone sjdkfkgk

aww ethan and alicia waking up together

alicia shoving ethan under the bed when robyn knocks on her door asking to borrow some moisturiser sjdkfkfkfk

“i haven’t been shoved that hard since i stole cal’s nerf gun” the mention of cal makes it awkward😬

aw max dragging jez out to check on dylan

dylan hasn’t arranged representation. they never do do they.

“alicia, cal likes you, i know he does, but he’s like some kite on the wind. i’m tired of always holding on to his strings in case he gets tangled in a tree.” “am i the tree in this?” “no you’re the reason i feel like i can let go” “what let go of cal?” “yeah. obviously i hope we can come back from this. i want us to be together—“ and then duffy comes into the cubicle SJDKFKGK

“ethan look, i can’t be the person to come between you and cal” “yeah. silly really to think that you’d consider us being together like that” “no but i am considering it ethan i just wish that—“ and they get interrupted AGAIN

lmaoo charlie says he’s consulting ethan and cal for help with wedding planning and duffy’s like “cal?! i’m gonna find myself twerking to beyoncé” 😭😭

alicia’s worried that if it didn’t work out with her and ethan that he and cal would be broken for nothing. pretty valid concern tbh even though ethan says he’s willing to take that risk. duffy’s definitely clocked them lmaoooo

yup alicia’s talking to duffy and she says she’s got a friend who’s in a bit of a mess and duffy just goes “you’ve got a friend who fancies her boyfriend’s brother. is that what you’re gonna tell me?” and then from looking at alicia’s face “slept with her boyfriends brother?” SHSJFKGKK

“well that would make her sound like a terrible person wouldn’t it? maybe she is…” “or maybe she’s just confused” “i’ve messed up big time” “no, hang on, do you like ethan?” “yes, yes i do! help me, what do i do?” “think very hard about your next move. who do you want to be with? because you’ve got to be sure if you’re going to cause a rift between those boys.”

oh and here’s cal🙄 lily asks how his interview for the research placement was and he says it was fine but he thinks he’s in a little bit of trouble about it. you THINK?????

mr grayling was basically just using lily. surprise surprise.

lmaoo duffy going “it’s hard when you really fall for someone isn’t it? always a risk that you can get hurt” to the patient but looking at alicia

ollie! he’s staying with david because rosa had to rush to spain. noel goes “you’re gonna get on like a—“ and david goes “DONT say like a house on fire”😭😭😭😭

aww this patient storyline

seb admits to making a malicious allegation

cal tells ethan he’s sorry about the proposal he just had to show alicia he wasn’t bothered… bro what kind of shitty apology is that??????? he can definitely tell something’s off with ethan because he isn’t acting angry with him the way he would normally he’s just trying to avoid him and isn’t engaging with him at all

alicia looks so good

aww this patient storyline’s cute as well. so cute it’s restored alicia’s faith in love and she’s decided to take the risk to be with ethan

AHHHH THEYRE SO CUTEE🥰🥰🥰🥰

dylan’s looking especially autistic today. it’s probably the whole ordeal with seb

oh no cal asks alicia if ethan mentioned anything about the whole stealing his proposal thing “because i thought he’d be properly mad but he just seemed weird like sort of shut off. i can’t put my finger on it but i don’t know, this time he’s different.” alicia points out how they’re always falling out and maybe a clean break wouldn’t hurt and cal says how he knows he always jokes about ethan but without him he doesn’t know what he’d do😥 and you can see the doubt returning in alicia’s face😭

“before you came back to holby, some stuff happened between us. pretty bad stuff. and i thought it would finish us off.” “but you two got through it?” “yeah well, blood’s thicker right?” alicia’s now even more conflicted😭

aw cal properly apologises and says to make it up to him they can go for a weekend away doing all the museumy stuff ethan likes meanwhile ethan’s trying to tell him about alicia because they’d agreed to tell him so they could be together but alicia turns up having changed her mind because she doesn’t want to destroy their family and interrupts ethan to lie to cal that ethan had said the same as he had to her about wondering if they could come back from this but not knowing what he’d do without him😭😭

OH THEY HUGGG i forgot about that🥺🥺🥺🥺 it’s kinda one sided from cal though because ethan is hugging back but he's not really into it he’s looking hurt :(

i totally understand alicia choosing not to get between them and i do think it was probably the right decision but it does annoy me that she doesn’t even break up with cal?? i mean obviously she wasn’t going to do it there and then but she claims to want to be with ethan which can’t happen because it would destroy his and cal’s relationship but she could at least break up with cal herself?? like obviously ethan’s going to think she decided she didn’t actually want to be with him over cal! i know why she doesn’t and it’s because she’s not as confident as she makes out to be and she doesn’t want to hurt cal. doesn’t stop it being annoying though. especially as it makes it seem like she’s just kinda going along with whatever.

actually that reminds how ik some people thought that alicia’s personality changed between her first and second stint because she really wasn’t very confident in her first stint and she seemed to have become super confident by her second stint but she didn’t! she does gain a bit of confidence and resilience because of what happened with lily and because she went travelling but that’s kind of on the surface, and after what happens with her parents she’s faking it to stop herself getting hurt like her mum did. it’s basically just on the surface and it’s pretty clear that she’s the same person she was in her first stint underneath that. and i think that’s where this entire love triangle situation comes from: the confident “party girl” personality that she presents fits best with cal but her actual personality fits best with ethan, which is why cal’s her easy safe option even though she actually wants to be with ethan.

uh oh connie has discovered it was elle who treated grace. now she’s questioning why she didn’t intubate and threatening to report her to the trust😬 connie’s vengeful eras are her worst.

iain deffo fancies lily

ooh dylan saying “i found it very helpful to put some distance between myself and the belittling. i’m talking about my father, he was an expert.” :(((

aw dylan recommending seb for a placement at st james’ and helping him stand up to his dad🥺

oop cal’s trying to “have an early night” with alicia but she excuses herself and she’s trying not to cry😢😢😢

dylan and max’s friendship🥺

uh oh cal finds the cuff link DUN DUN DUNNNNN

[vaguely-yandere]

bully darling,,,, <3

a bully darling with any type of subby yandere but i think the most interesting one would be the "secretly mean" yandere! mean yandere tries to, well, be mean and darling returns it ten fold, making the yan a giant blushing mess and it has them stuttering through their next sentence.

i think sensitive yandere would be the most satisfying tho... or a new subtype: discord mod yandere (but in a greasy lil gamer way, not a sexist asshole way) <3

eeee discord mod yandere (which i think is the most chronically online thing ive ever typed oml, i need to go out more) who shows up to things in 'cringe' clothes. cat ears, a tail, gaming tshirt, looking adorable while doing it and spending their time stalking bully darling in a very traditional "hiding behind the tree and hoping for the best" way yet it works somehow despite how much attention they draw towards themselves without meaning to. and, well, bully darling does eventually notice them and its pure hell/heaven for the yandere afterwards.

however, as cute discord mod (and riddler like) yandere is, i dont think theyd be the masochist bully darling needs.

CEO yandere however... rich, pretentious, arrogant, prideful... a perfect target for bully darling. or girly yandere (who fills the bff who is secretly in love with you role so so perfectly!!!)

just image bully yandere trying to bully CEO yandere before they even realize theyre talking to the CEO, calling them a perv when they go red in the face, making fun of their clothes, their hair, their shoes, maybe insulting their work and when someone walks up and called the yan by their proper title... bully darling thinks its the end of the world. they scurry away, waiting for their "FIRED" letter, already packing up their stuff when the yan's secretary comes up to them and tells them they're getting moved to the top floor by special request of the CEO

'im fucked. im doomed. this is my last moment on earth. my hubris has finally caught up with me.'

but darling does as theyre told and moves (luckily they were already packing their stuff up!) and instead of getting the scolding of their life when the CEO summons them to their office, they get a teary eyed puppy who, through sniffles, asks if darling actually thinks of them like that

what. the fuck!

and darling, very unwillingly, admits that no, their hair and clothes and shoes aren't stupid and they are actually very attractive and the way they do their work is fine, they were just having a hard day and wanted to take it out on someone else.

when they finally admit to that, the yandere takes a complete 180. "what happened?? is everything okay?? is there anything i can do? is someone bothering you? do you need a spa day or a day off? i can get you lunch if youre hungry! from anywhere you want! shipped from anywhere you want! you want clothes? new shoes? ill get them for you!"

just. bully yandere awkwardly accepting this ray of sunshine into their lives (and absolutely getting turned on when they see their yanderes angry side but only when its directed towards other people. the only time the yandere snapped at them without noticing, they spent a week being a kicked puppy about it)

and i KNOW CEO yan loves getting a bit of physical pain from their darling. a slap, maybe stepping on them with some nice shoes, making them kneel for hours under their desk, maybe a spanking or two but whats important about ceo yan is that they need kindness and praise to balance it out or else they get dominant. the bully provides the perfect balance by being a classic tsundere, giving them a few embarrassed compliments in private but plenty of punishment as well. calling them a fucking idiot one minute and then praising them for being such a perfect boss the second, their darling just drives them insane and bully darling just adores humiliating them which is absolutely a giant kink of the yandere. kneeling and getting their 1,000$ pants dirty just to shine darlings shoes (that dont even need shining. CEO darling would never allow their darling to have scuffed shoes) or maybe darling undermines them all the time (in a very consensual way) and humiliating them in front of clients, subordinates, service industry workers, random strangers, doesnt matter! everyone feels bad for the yandere at first until they see their flushed way, loving look and the way they hand on every single word the bully says. its not a healthy relationship by any means but god, is it p hot

[omiscurls]

hi! (this request is heavily inspired by a kdrama i just watched called sweet home lmao) could i request a childe x gn reader fic where childe and the reader r both severely injured and the reader had to kill someone for self defense and as theyre running away the reader feeling super guilty is like “i’m so terrible i killed someone” and childe is trying to comfort them and they find a place to rest while being both on the verge of death and the reader is like “i killed someone, i’m so scared that it’ll be my last memory”and the childe is like “try to forget abt it it’s ok” and the reader is like “u don’t think abt either too” (yk implying like oh don’t think abt the ppl you’ve killed before childe, bc im assuming he’s killed a lot of ppl) and he’s like ok with a sad smile and they die together in each other’s arms holding hands?)/?:))2 help this is wayyy to detailed i’m sry but if u want the reference scene it’s from this video , they show the specific scene in time stamps 0:57-2:56 again i’m so sorry if this is too detailed or if u don’t wanna write it!!! tysm <3

memory

a/n oh my god that is just my kind of angst, thanks for the request and i hope you'll enjoy!!

prompt: honestly? dying with tartaglia (that sounds like a creepy tv show's title and i'm proud of it)

contains: tartaglia

warnings: angst, death, blood, major character death, self-blame, murder, more blood, really a lot of dying and bleeding, please do not proceed if you're not comfortable with the topics

adrenaline was probably the last string that had your body moving and functioning in any way. the blood in your veins made you deaf, only capable of noticing the sounds of it pumping behind your ears, head pulsing like a bomb about to explode.

your whole body shook, and you felt a metallic taste on your tongue, covering your mouth with your hand to prevent throwing up, which you predicted would happen in a matter of seconds.

"hey!" you finally heard childe yell, sounding distant even still, when you lifted your gaze away from the body before you and noticed he was standing fairly close. "come on, move, or his buddies" he said pointing to the lifeless man beneath you "might just come to get revenge"

with that he took your arm by the waist and pulled you along with him.

you stumbled over your own feet, and almost fell down every couple of minutes. your lungs started to burn after mere seconds, and you couldn't even find breath to tell him to slow down. you also knew he couldn't, having better self-preservation instincts than you, he understood the situation you two were in better.

fuck.

you looked behind you, to the spot where blood painted the grass red under a pile of dead bodies, some of your allies, some of your foes, but from this kind of distance, you couldn't even make out which one was which. your gaze fell down to your hands, covered in sticky redness as well.

you just killed somebody.

it wasn't even the consequences that frightened you, it was the sheer act of life leaving his eyes before he fell down, of his pupils staring at you in one last beg for mercy before freezing like that for the eternity ahead, for how his body seemed to have gained weight in a matter of seconds, almost pulling you down with him. the ringing in your head got more intense as you choked on a strained sob.

"they're dead" you breathed out, making your partner laugh sarcastically.

"good guess" he answered, his grip on your arm loosening as the both of you climbed up a hill.

"no, you don't understand, they're- dead dead! i- i didn't think i-" you stumbled over your words, panic settling in your eyes as you tried to comprehend the situation.

"what, you didn't think that if you pierce a person through with a blade they're gonna die?" he asked rhetorically, back almost slamming against a tree, sliding down to the ground with a breath of relief. "fuck, looks like i got pierced, too" he noticed, looking down onto his side, the grey material of his uniform getting dark and sticky. he hissed, trying to lift it up, and gave up on his attempts, instead opting to look at you.

you didn't sit down, but kept staring forward with the most frightened expression he had ever seen you wear. eyes wide open as you searched for answers in thin air, hands shaking, moving up to cover your mouth.

“hey” he whispered way gentler than before, urging you to sit down in front of him “it’s okay, it was only self-defense. you did kill them, but you didn’t murder them or anything, it was kill or be killed”

his words held so much confidence in what he was saying, you almost felt comforted. he really did master the art of bending the truth to his liking, didn’t he?

“i did it, what if he was someone’s father, or brother, or whoever else, what if i just destroyed someone’s world? he was a human being just as much as i am, i had no right-“ you started relapsing into panic, hands gripping on your hair, head moving down to hide between your legs.

only then did tartaglia notice the huge wound right across the back of your thigh, and several others. fuck, he instantly thought, whoever did it knew what he was doing, cut you in a very specific place, with intent to kill.

he couldn’t even fight back the wave of anger coming crushing at him, but bit his lip instead of saying anything. there was no way the both of you could get to a safe place in time.

he used to be so passionate about continuing to live, normally he would’ve just throw you over his shoulder and run, until his legs gave out, but now, he didn’t even have the energy to stand up. he barely could move his hand, and the more he tried to fight it, the more tired he became.

the feeling of helplessness was eating him alive, both from not having any way of providing you safety, and for not protecting you earlier, not to mention how he couldn’t find the right words to say to you now.

“listen” he started carefully, waiting for you to stop sobbing. “it’s painful, killing someone. it leaves a hole inside you that you don’t know how to cover. it makes your thoughts twist and fight back against you, it makes you want to leave your own head for how bad you feel. it sucks, believe me, i know. you didn’t deserve to have to feel this shitty. i’m- i’m sorry. for not shielding you well enough.” he said bluntly, not a hint of comfort or the usual beating around the bush that he used every time he intended to coax you. just pure, brutal truth. for once.

“it’s okay” you mumbled quietly. your head felt heavy on your shoulders, and you felt how it started to fall off its support. the numbness in your legs, this sort of stressful feeling of being constantly out of air- “i don’t want to die, though”

the sentence felt like a whimper, a cry of help, but tartaglia knew there was exactly nothing he could do.

“am i gonna die?” your voice felt a little stronger, laced with fear, and you lifted your eyes back onto him, in search of a “no” that you knew you wouldn’t find. “i’m gonna leave this world with killing a man as my last memory” you laughed bitterly, before laugh became a cry, and tears mixed with sweat on the surface of your cheeks. “that’s the worst fucking death i could ever imagine”

“baby, look at me” he asked calmly “come here”

when you moved to sit on his side, his hand, sticky from blood, intertwined its fingers with yours, and squeezed tightly.

“look. we’re sitting on a hill, under a tree, the sun is high up in the sky, a meadow below us, it’s a perfect date!” he laughed so authentically, you almost believed it was true. “we’re on a dream date, isn’t that amazing? and look.”

with that, he tilted your head towards his, and kissed you softly and shortly.

“i love you.” he said in the calmest manner he could force out “is that a better memory?”

you placed your head on his side, attempting to hug him even a little bit, tears staining his uniform even more.

“i don’t want to leave you.”

“i’ll be right behind you. guarding your back, like i always do. after all, i promised to always protect you, right? death won’t change my plans.”

[violetarks]

kissing him under the mistletoe

anime: my hero academia

characters: bakugou katsuki, kaminari denki, shinso hitoshi

summary: you and your boyfriend share a kiss under the mistletoe

warnings: g/n! reader, second person pov

↣ bakugou katsuki:

Most likely, mina was the one who hung it up above the dorm entrance

Everyone was doing their own thing and helping decorate the common room, some cooking foods and desserts and others hanging ornaments on the tree

Kirishima would spot mina and kaminari hanging it and say

"yknow bakugou and l/n are coming back from training, right??"

Mina would look at him

"yes. We know."

"... So theyre gonna enter at the exact same—"

"yes. We know."

Lo and behold, you and bakugou walk through the door together, both of you arguing about training

You'd say that he shouldnt have won

He says you shouldnt have gotten your hopes up

Nobody really minds since bakugou starts shit with everyone, so its no surprise when you two go at it again after training

But everyone knows that he lets you train with him bc youre amazing and you might challenge him (plus he thinks youre pretty cool)

But he'd never tell you that

So the two of you are taking off your shoes, just sitting next to each other and talking, when mina and kaminari jump down from the ladder with wide smirks

"oooh?? Whats this??" mina giggles, walking towards them

"oh, hey mina, kaminari" you say, brushing her arm as you take off your jacket, "do you guys need any help?"

They completely ignore your question

Kaminari then laughs, "is that a mistletoe above you two, my dear friends? Huh i wonder how that got there!"

Bakugou looked up before clicking his tongue and glaring at the both of them

"you fucking idiots, i should knock the hell outta you both—"

But he doesnt get to go on as you grip the front of his tank top and tug him towards you

His eyes widen as your lips land on his and you close your own eyes, only softly kissing him now

He's scrunched his hand before feeling you just lay your palm on his shoulder gently

He has no idea what to do

Youre?? Just?? Kissing?? Him??

Just because of some freaking plant??

No doubt he wants to kiss you back but like... Youre reason behind it is bc kaminari and mina hung some random object around??

He doesnt know how to kiss lmao

So he just sets himself on letting him hold your cheek and trying to kiss back

TRYING

You taste like that energy drink he gave you when you said you forgot your own

His flavour was orange and yours was blueberry, so it was a mixture of both

It was a weird but attractive taste, making him pull away a little for a breath of air before pushing back in, squeezing his eyes shut again

He wanted this to last

When you pull away with a small smile, you just mumble out,,

"huh, at least you can kiss kinda well"

And then he flicks your forehead and stands up, shoving his bag over his shoulder and walking off

He scowls back, "tch, you wont ever know again, dumbass"

He stalks off and you stand up and just roll your eyes, as if he wasnt just kissing back and holding your cheek

Mina and kaminari stop their cheering to offering you some chocolates jirou and kaminari were making before

You go to grab some snacks as mina and hagakure ask about your kiss with bakugou, to which you brush off with an away gaze

You were also going crazy from the kiss

But bakugou was around the corner, hand against his chest as he tried to steady his breathing

He can hear you dismissing the questions and teasing from his spot, as well as yaoyorozu preparing tea and the kettle boiling

He hears you laugh and his heartbeat goes faster than before, making him a little bit more worried

He leaned the back of his head against the wall and moved his other hand over his lips, glaring at the ceiling with red cheeks

Holy crap, he just kissed you

"... Shit"

↣ kaminari denki:

He most definitely set it up way before you knew it

He was planning to take care of it himself bc he wanted to admit his feelings during the christmas cheer bc it seemed all romantic

Mina and sero tried giving him pointers about it since they gave him some good ideas

It was sero's idea to bring in a mistletoe

"wait dude youre a genius"

"thanks dude its a natural talent"

So he meets you at the front gate, pretending to just catch up with you and not waiting to see you walk through the entrance, looking up from your phone just as he fixes his blazer

"so? Up for a little race, y/n?"

"hm? Uhh, i guess?? But why—"

He bolts into the building

"FIRST ONE TO HOMEROOM WINS!!"

oh shit you are not about to lose this early in the morning

So you chase him down and dodge all the students, until you see kaminari bump into a teacher

"wah!! Im so sorry!!"

He's yelling and all that, bowing in apologies as you just giggle and run off

Little did you know, that he meant to get stopped kn some way, granted he didnt think the teacher would have so much to say so he had to dash the rest of the way to catch up with you at the door of the classroom

You turn around to see him a few paces behind you and you just point at him and tease him

"oooh? Denki cant keep up with me?? Well that sucks, doesnt it??"

Youre laughing and all that, he cant stop himself from staring at you and just shaking his head

He leans against the doorway sill as you keep teasing him and he rolls his eyes at how cute you are

"oh, i get it, you won," he scoffs out, slinging an arm around your shouldsr and tugging you closer, "how do you feel about a reward?"

You perk up and look at him, "huh? What is it?"

He points up above the two of you, and when you notice the mistletoe and begin to widen your eyes, he laughs and leans forward

You dont have any time to register it when he lands a short kiss on your lips

He has his palm againsy the back of your head, just tilting you slightly to fit against him, and his other hand in stuffed into his pocket, squeezing into a fist as his heart pounded

Your hands were against his chest, scrunching his shirt up as you held your breath

Kaminari pulled away after a second, trying to push away the obvious blush on his face

He was supposed to act all cool and collected as he kissed you but instead, he was all a mess

He clears his throat and stands back,

"so? Did you enjoy—ack!l

He bumps into the wall, hurting the back of his head

As he groans in agony, you just giggle again and rub the back of his head as you hug him close

"thanks, denki." is all you say as he wraps his arms around your torso

He hugs you back

"no problem, y/n."

↣ shinso hitoshi:

He'd heard from one of his friends in general studies that there was a christmas-themed cafe coming up this year, which was different since this cafe was just a normal coffee shop, but ever since its new renovations, they had enough room for new ideas

So he planned to take you there

You were already pretty close and been on a few dates together, so this would be fine, right?

Shinso currently had you tugging on his jumper asking where the two of you were heading for today

"be patient, it's just around the corner"

"but we've been walking for so long!!"

"it's been six minutes"

He just rolls his eyes

At the cafe, he takes your hand to make sure you dont get lost in the crowd of people who are here to checkout the new place too

You two sat down by the corner, since shinso liked a little privacy

When it came to ordering, you got some shortcake to share with shinso as well as a classic milkshake, whilst shinso got some drink special that you didnt catch, since you were busy staring at the pretty lights around the cafe

He made conversation with you until the food came, to which he was kind of excited about

Usually, if he heard about some new trendy place, he'd throw it over as another thing to check out when not a lot of people crowded the place

But since it was a christmas-themed place, he thought it would only be up for a month

And, his friend told him about the special drink they offered

When their meals came, shinso sat up straighter as y/n gasped at how good the shortcakes looked

Shinso took off the topping of his drink — a small biscuit in the shape of a mistletoe from the themed drink he got

He usually wouldnt go for sweets, but he needed it for the plan to work

"hey," shinso would mumble out, making you pull the fork from your lips, "look here."

He holds up the mistletoe biscuit, making you stop and stare at him

It's the smile you give him that tells shinso that he can go ahead and kiss you

Also the fact that you say, "youre so cute hitoshi" before you lean over the table

He shakes his head before pressing his lips against yours, holding your chin softly as you wrap her fingers around his wrist, brushing your thumb on his skin

He first starts with a small kiss, just lightly peppering a few times because everyone else was too busy gawking over the cafe

The spot you were in had a slight wall around the side so if anybody were to see, they'd have to stand or sit behind you

So he was in the clear to kiss you for longer, enjoying the little giggles you gave him in return

You tasted like the strawberry shortcake you had ordered for the both of you, a couples one that had two strawberries and enough cake for them both

When he pulls away the same time as you, he grabs the fork you were using and takes some of the cake into his mouth

"geez, this is really good"

You hold your breath for a moment before chuckling and kissing his cheek

"youre so lucky i love you"

[shhhhyoursister]

childhood friends to lovers!au

yes i am uploading these all at the same time what about it???? yeah so this the one where david is a rich kid who is “forced” to play with matteo (who is autistic in this au) but of course they become best friends because theyre soulmates so ahh i hope you like it!!!

He knows that he shouldn’t be climbing the tree.

His mom has told him at least a hundred times that he shouldn’t. She always tells him that he’s going to fall, bump his head or break his arm, and he needs to come down right this second or he’s going to bed without any dessert which is almost always enough to convince him.

He wraps his legs tight around the branch he’s on and let’s himself fall backwards, hanging with his head poking out just enough under the lowest leaves so he can see if anyone is there. He knows that Laura is doing schoolwork and his mom had been cooking something last he saw her, and he thinks it’s still too early for his dad to be home from work. His eyes scan the huge backyard, and, seeing nobody, he grins and grabs onto the branch to swing himself back up.

He stands, looking down at the dark blue velcro sneakers that he had begged for last time his mom had taken him shoe shopping, and starts walking across the branch like a tightrope. He holds his arms out, careful not to knock into any leaves  or twigs jutting out at him. He gets to an upward curve in the branch and puts a foot on it.

It’s higher than he’s climbed before. Usually by this point someone has noticed that he’s gone, his mom or Laura bursting through the glass double doors that led to their backyard, yelling for him. Always calling out a name that makes him glare and wrinkle his nose. He almost loses his footing thinking about it and refocuses.

He knows what his goal is, and he’s only a couple feet away from reaching it. There’s a birds nest in the tree, high high up, that he’s been watching every morning with the binoculars his dad bought him. His mom would watch him pointing them out the window at the pretty blue bird, and one day got down on her knees next to him, pointed to it, and said, “There are going to be new baby birds in the nest soon, I saw two eggs. That mama bird is going to have two little baby birds, just like me.”

And he’s been trying to get a closer look ever since. He loves watching the birds, the whole reason his dad had bought him the binoculars in the first place, and he will spend hours just lying on his back in the grass, sunglasses (that his dad also bought him) snug over his eyes, watching the birds fly overhead.

With his mission reset in his mind, he looks up, seeing the nest close by, and only a little bit higher than he is. If he puts his foot right between those two forking branches, and shifts his weight just the right way and grabs onto that one branch at the right time, he’ll be able to look into the nest. He takes a deep breath and tries to focus. He plants his foot and shoots up next to the nest, grabs the branch, and shakes a leaf out of his face. When he opens his eyes he grins, and starts laughing.

He can see two little birds in the nest, and they’re ugly. Gray and fuzzy, pink bald heads, huge eyes barely open as wiggle around. He watches for a moment, wishing that he could reach out and pet one but listens to his mother’s warnings against doing such. He rebalances himself, shifting his weight onto a different foot, and almost stumbles. He gasps and catches himself quickly. He grins at how fast he was able to grab onto the branch but quickly realizes his mistake when he hears an angry squawk.

He had grabbed onto the branch with the nest, the branch strong enough not to move but his hand close enough to the nest to alert the mama bird, who had been somewhere close by the whole time. He gasps again, quickly letting go as the bird jumps closer to his hand, and starts yelling as he loses his balance enough with the surprise to start falling backwards. He hits the ground, hears a crack and the worst pain he’s ever felt shoot up his arm, and he screams until he hears his mom running out the back door.

***

He throws the biggest tantrum when the doctor, along with his parents, tell him that he isn’t allowed to play rough or run around or climb or do any of his favorite things for weeks. He doesn’t even know how long a week really is but it sounds like it might last forever, and he cries and kicks his legs the whole time they’re in the doctor’s office. It’s summer so all of his friends are going to be playing outside and riding their bikes and going swimming, and now he’s being told he can’t do any of that? It’s the most heartbreaking news a six year old could’ve gotten.

On the way home from the doctor, his parents drag him, still crying, and Laura, who’s just excited about all the fanfare, into an ice cream shop. They tell them to get whatever they want, and he orders at least four different flavors through his angry tears because he always orders for himself. He only stops crying when his dad sets down the huge paper cup of ice cream in front of him, a spoon shoved in it, and says, “Go crazy.”

After he eats until his stomach hurts his parents take him to the store, lead him to the video game section, and tell him to choose three new games. He picks fast, his Wii still so new that he only cares about getting games for that, and his eyes are completely dry by the time they get home that night.

It’s later that night that his parents tell him the news. They both come into his room to tuck him in for the night which is unusual, but he’s thrilled that he’s going to get double the attention, not even complaining like usual about Laura having a later bedtime than him. His dad sits in the big chair across from his bed, his mom settling down on the edge of his bed, both smiling at him.

“You did quite a number on yourself today, kid,” his dad starts, grinning while trying to maintain some kind of authority. His mom looks at his dad and smiles, holding back a laugh. He glares between the two, much less happy about their presence in his room if they’re just there to make fun of him.

“I just wanted to see the baby birds.” he mutters under his breath.

“Well, you have your binoculars for that,” his mom said quietly, placatingly, patting his leg, “and we have some news that might make you a bit more happy.”

He looks up at that, wondering what else his parents were going to give him. He’s no stranger to gifts and treats, but he thought that the new video games and the ice cream were going to be it. He smiles, excited for whatever else it is they have planned.

“Do you remember Mrs. Florenzi? From the restaurant?” his dad says, smiling at his mom again.

The restaurant. He frowns again, not wanting to get into the topic of his dad’s job. He doesn’t even understand what his dad does. All his other friends’ dads are lawyers, or doctors, or other big words that he doesn’t understand. His dad seems to just...own a lot of things. One of those things being his favorite restaurant, that he had purchased a few years earlier. His family went there a few times a month, and he could remember Mrs. Florenzi if he really focused. Long brown hair, kind eyes, always smiling when she sees him at a table. She’s a chef there but sometimes would sneak out of the kitchen to pinch his cheeks. He nods.

“Well, I don’t think we told you, but she has a son around your age, and she needs someone to look after him some days when she’s at work. Since I’m home, and already have two crazy kids running around,” his mom says, poking at him until he giggles, “why not take in a third?”

He tilts his head, thinking about that. He has friends, lots of them., but if he’s going to be stuck inside because of his arm, it might be fun to have a new kid around. Especially so he doesn’t have to go to Laura if he wants to play with someone else, because they fight as much as they get along. After a minute he smiles, says, “Okay!” and drops his head to his pillow as his parents laugh.

Having another boy around sounds like fun.

***

The next day, after breakfast when he’s wandering around his playroom trying to find something to do that was fun but wouldn’t cause his mom to tell him to settle down because of his arm, the doorbell rings. His head pops up, and he runs out of the room just in time to see his mom open the door.

Mrs. Florenzi is waiting on the other side, and he frowns, not seeing a kid with her. She’s smiling and greeting his mom, talking in that way that moms always do when they drop off or pick up their kids. He’s not shy, not in the slightest, but he hangs back a bit. He wants to know where this other boy is.

Mrs. Florenzi seems to notice him, and ducks down to wave, and he waves back, and then walks over and past his mom, and pushes his face out the door to look around. When the moms laugh he pulls back, kind of annoyed at that, and demands, “Where is he?”

The moms laugh again and he considers pulling the face that his mom always chides him for, pouting his lips out big and glaring so hard it makes his head hurt. He hates being laughed at by adults.

“Sorry honey, he’s a bit shy. Matteo, do you want to meet your new friend?”

That’s when he notices the small hand clutching desperately onto Mrs. Florenzi’s skirt. His mouth twists up a little; he doesn’t usually get along with shy kids. He finally sees a blond head poke out from around her, the face on it looking nervous but also a little excited. They stare at each other until Mrs. Florenzi shoves the kid in front of her.

He gets a good look. Matteo is small, scrawny even, and his shoulders are hunched in a bit, making him seem even smaller. His shoes are dirty which he hopes means that Matteo at least like playing outside, and the scratches on Matteo’s knees that match his own makes him even more hopeful. Matteo looks at him, tilting his head, not saying anything, and then he looks off to the side, his hand clenching in the hem of his shirt.

“Hi, Matteo,” his mom says, bending down so she can smile at Matteo, and then shoves him forward and introduces him.

She doesn’t do it right though. She never does. Nobody ever does. He scowls.

Mrs. Florenzi pushes Matteo forward again, into the house, and thanks his mom before leaving for the restaurant with a kiss to Matteo’s head, and something whispered in his ear. He watches the door after she leaves.

He hopes the kid doesn’t start crying.

His mom sends them off so she can do something in the kitchen, and he and Matteo look at each other. Matteo looks nervous almost, probably because of the fierce glare on his face, so he decides to clear that up before the other kid tries to say something.

“That’s not my name you know,” he says, and turns, making his way to the playroom because that’s always a good place to start with new friends, “I don’t have one.”

“You don’t have a name?” Matteo asks, his voice quiet, his face confused, “Then why did your mama call you that?”

He shrugs. Matteo looks uncomfortable with that answer.

“But- everyone has a name,” Matteo says as they reach the door of the playroom, his hand twitching at his side, looking up at the big door in front of them, “you have to. How am I gonna talk to you if you don’t have a name?”

He rolls his eyes, something his parents started scolding him for the second he learned how and when to do it,  pushing into the playroom. Nobody really gets it. He shrugs again, and says, “I don’t know but if you call me that I’ll beat you up.”

Matteo’s eyes pop open and he looks nervous. He nods, pushing his arms out at his sides, twisting them in the air and then snapping them back down at his sides.

He nods back, glad that they got that conversation out of the way. He looks around the playroom when Matteo doesn’t say anything, trying to find something to do with this quiet boy who seems like the opposite kind of kid than he usually plays with.

“You have a Wii?” Matteo asks suddenly, pointing at the white console attached to the big TV in the room, his other hand twisting at his side. He’s smiling for the first time since he had come in, bouncing on his feet.

“Yeah!” he exclaims, hoping that Matteo would want to play video games with him because that’s always easy and Laura never wants to, “I got Smash Brothers when I broke my arm, do you wanna play?”

Matteo grins and nods, rocking up onto his toes and his hands flapping at his sides as the game is set up. They both settle in front of the screen in the special chairs his dad had bought for him and Laura, his a light blue (that again, he had to beg for), Laura’s a darker purple. Matteo starts rocking in the chair when he realizes that he can get the momentum to.

“I know!” Matteo calls out a little while later, after they had played enough of the game that they were joking around and laughing with each other, Matteo losing every round but having fun regardless, “We should have nicknames! I want to be Luigi!”

He snorts and asks, “Why Luigi? He’s not as cool as Mario!”

“He’s green, though, that’s my favorite color. I don’t like red.” Matteo says, shrugging and shaking his head, focused completely on the screen in front of them. He’s tapping his fingers on the controller in his hand, pressing buttons, selecting and deselecting his character.

He nods, looking at the character selection screen, thinking that if Matteo picked a Nintendo nickname, he needs to do the same. He considers a bunch of different characters before landing on one and smiling, and he turns to Matteo, proud even though Matteo doesn’t look at him.

“I’ll be Link!” he says, and Matteo turns to him, smiling just as wide.

“I like Link, he’s green too!” Matteo says, and turns back to the screen, starting the next round.

They play for hours. They switch between playing different video games and looking at Pokemon cards and playing dress up with the chest in the back corner and bothering his mom until she feeds them, and when the doorbell rings and his mom calls them both down, he thinks fast.

“Come on,” he whispers to Matteo as he grabs his arm and yanks him out of the playroom, “and don’t talk about my room.”

He opens the door and shoves Matteo in first, glancing down the stairs to see his mom standing at the door, talking to Mrs. Florenzi. Neither of them seemed to notice so he follows and closes the door quietly behind him. He tries to ignore the fact that Matteo is staring around at everything.

It’s not that his room is small, or boring, or that his bed is uncomfortable or that there are monsters hiding in his closet waiting to eat him (he’s too old to be scared of monsters). It’s just ugly. The wallpaper was put up before he was even born, when his parents first found out they were having another baby, and the pink and white flowers made his head hurt. There were lots of marks on the walls from balls he had thrown and toy rocket ships he had “launched into space”. The canopy draped over his bed was cool when he closed it, pretending that he was in a tent in the middle of a jungle, but any other time he despised it.

Matteo stands in the middle of the room, his head tilted back, staring at the ceiling above them. It’s covered in those little glow-in-the-dark stars and planets, something he had begged for after seeing it on TV once. Matteo seems to get lost in his own head, still staring up but spinning in slow circles around the floor. He turns to the door when they both hear a mom voice calling them down, and Matteo’s head whips back to him and he holds a finger over his mouth.

They hide as long as they can, quietly giggling, until his mom decides to check his room even though he almost never chooses to go in there, especially not with friends. Matteo looks like he’s going to cry when he’s escorted out with Mrs. Florenzi’s hand gently pulling his, and he waves bye as the moms reassure the two that they’ll see each other the next day. His mom closes the front door and turns to him with a smile.

“So, did you two have fun?” she asks, and instead of answering he runs into her legs and hugs them.

The next morning can’t come soon enough, and when the bell rings, he jumps up from the table to answer it, ignoring his mom yelling behind him that he needs to come pick his chair back up. He unlocks the front door (he doesn’t know if his parents know he can do that) and smiles at Mrs. Florenzi, who smiles back and pinches his cheek. She greets him and he frowns at the name.

Matteo runs past her into the house, his face bright, and they run up the stairs and into the playroom before they even say hi to each other. He can hear the moms laughing fondly behind them, and he closes the door to shut them back into the little world they had created around them the day before.

“Hi Link.” Matteo giggles, a hand over his mouth like he’s sharing in a secret, and he kind of is.

“Hi Luigi,” he says back, unable to stop his own giggles from  escaping, and then points to the TV and asks, “wanna play more?”

Matteo nods enthusiastically, spinning in a circle before flopping into the same chair he had sat in the day before. He starts setting the game up like usual, but frowns when he turns the TV on and doesn’t see the usual black screen with words on it that he could read if he cared enough to.

“What’s wrong? Why isn’t it working?” Matteo asks, and he looks over, and Matteo is staring at the screen, his eyebrows drawn down. He gets up, walking closer to the screen, examining it like he could figure out how to fix it. His hands come up and start rubbing at his arms as he squints.

“My stupid sister did something and then didn’t fix it,” he muttered, and Matteo’s head whipped to him, a surprised smile on his face.

“That’s a bad word, you can’t say that!” he scolds, but he looks secretly pleased.

“I know all the bad words,” says, smirking, proud of that, “even the really bad grown-up ones.”

Matteo looks at him, awe on his face, and he starts bouncing and says, “Wow, I think you’re the coolest friend I have!”

He grins, puffs up his chest a bit. He knows he’s cool, but hasn’t ever been called the coolest before. He’s going to have to make Matteo say it again in front of Laura.

Remembering his sister, he frowns again. He thinks that Laura may have watched a DVD and then not fixed the TV after, and he doesn’t know how to make it the Wii again. He has to either go ask her to change it, or find his mom.

“I have to go get my sister,” he says to Matteo, and then points off to the cabinet containing the Pokemon cards they had looked through the day before, “you can look at those but be careful, they’re fragile.” He doesn’t really know if they are but he had heard his dad call important things that before.

Matteo nods and he walks out of the room, running down the hall to Laura’s room. He isn’t in the mood to talk to his sister when he already has a friend over, especially a friend who thinks he’s cool, but he kicks her door a couple times, bangs on it with his fist, and yells, “Laura!”

He keeps up the noise until the door is wrenched open. Laura is already glaring, her curly hair frizzed around her face making her look even angrier, and he just grins when she crosses her arms over her chest, scowling at him.

“What do you want?” She asks, sneering, and he puts a frown on his face to match hers.

“You messed up the TV, and I have my new friend over, and we can’t play video games!” he sneers, crossing his own arms over his chest, “You need to fix it!”

“Ugh, fine,” she says, and stalks out of her room, shoving past him to get to the playroom. He clenches his fists and follows after her. She closes the playroom door in his face just as he gets to it, and he smacks it with his fist before yanking it open with a growl.

He sees Matteo pressed against the wall on the other side of the room. It seems like Laura hasn’t even noticed him, as she’s focused on the TV, but Matteo’s eyes are wide. He looks towards the door and places a hand flat against the wall.

“Laura, this is my super cool new friend Matteo,” he says, pointing to the boy cowering against the wall, who only presses himself more into it, “Matteo, this is my stupid ugly sister Laura.”

He smiles when Laura shrieks and throws down the chord she was holding, and runs out of the room, yelling behind her, “I’m telling mom!”

He turns to Matteo, who’s still against the wall, but with Laura gone he looks a little less tense. He puts a finger on his lips and waves Matteo over, and once he’s close enough he grabs his hand and whispers, “Come on, we have to go hide now.”

He tugs on Matteo’s hand and quickly, quiety leads him down the stairs. He doesn’t know where his mom is but he can hear Laura stomping around upstairs so he figures they’re safe for a bit. He can see his mom washing dishes at the sink, her back to the hallway that led to the basement, and he tugs again.

They get to the door and he slowly opens it, trying to avoid the loud creak. Once he gets it open as silently as he can, he turns to Matteo and is about to tell him to follow, but as he takes a step down onto the first stair, Matteo’s hand twists out of his.

“No,” he says, stepping back, shaking his head, rubbing at his arms again, “I- I don’t like the dark. I can’t go in basements.”

He grabs for Matteo’s wrist to try and drag him down anyway, but Matteo rips his arm away and wraps it behind his back fast. He glares, and is about to complain and whine and whisper that they need to hurry up because Laura is coming down the stairs, but Matteo glares back at him. He’s wants to argue but instead he rolls his eyes and pushes Matteo back, and then walks past him to the back door.

He pulls it open and runs outside, not even waiting to see if Matteo is following, because Matteo isn’t going to get in trouble if they’re caught. He runs until he finds what he’s looking for, the large shed in their backyard that housed various tools of his father’s and larger toys and bikes and such of his and Laura’s. He puts a hand on the doorknob, and then finally turns, and sees Matteo a little ways behind him. He decides to be nice and take extra long to get the door open.

He can suddenly hear his mom calling for him. His eyes widen and he tugs Matteo inside, who doesn’t seem happy at David’s hand on him so he lets go as soon as he can close the door. He puts a finger over his lips again, and even though Matteo looks mad at him he does the same.

He leads him to the back of the shed where there’s an old playhouse that his dad had built for him and Laura. The only reason it’s in the shed is because he, not loving the colors his parents had chosen for it, decided to splash a can of old black paint he found in his basement all over the exterior walls. He had gotten in trouble for that, but a new playhouse was in it’s spot the next week, a light blue one instead of the pink and purple that the original had been. He opens the door, quickly checks around for bugs or mice, and, seeing a clean enough space, steps inside.

Matteo looks around before hesitantly walking in behind him. He isn’t used to having friends as sensitive as Matteo seems to be, and he reminds himself of the words his mom would sometimes say to him when he’s getting frustrated at someone else, when he’s being too stubborn to think about how someone else might be feeling. His own brain is still a little too interesting to himself, all the thoughts and feelings that come so quickly and leave just as fast, and he sometimes needs to be reminded that other people have their own different, interesting brains.

“We can hide here for a little bit,” he whispers, and then noticing Matteo staring down at the ground, shoulders hunched like the first time he saw him, “are you okay Luigi?”

Matteo looks up, twisting the ends of his shirtsleeves around his fingers.

*** PART TWO

David’s high school graduation present is top surgery. Nothing about it is a surprise due to all of the meetings and consultations and doctor’s visits he needs to complete before they can do the surgery, but it goes by fast enough, probably due to his father’s presence. Or more his father’s money’s presence. He knows that he’s lucky, and can barely even remember the annoying process by the time he’s out of surgery, and on his way to healing again.

They had scheduled everything so he’d be able to go back to school on time, still finishing up the last of his recovery, but healed enough to do the rest of it on his own. As someone who already had a lot of confidence, getting top surgery makes David feel like he’s on top of the world.

His parents take him on a huge shopping trip before he goes, order him everything he adds to his college wishlist on Amazon, and help him pack up his car when it’s time for him to leave. They hug him goodbye, reminding him to be safe, and smart, and to focus on his work but also to have fun, and to call them if he needs money or food or anything. He waves them on and hugs them both quick, too excited to start this next phase of his life to stay and chat long. He gets in his car, starts the engine, and laughs hysterically as he pulls out of the long driveway.

And of course, he thrives there. Being raised in the family he was, he knows how to network, how to get himself out there in the exact ways he wants. The first person he meets is his roommate Jonas, a nice guy around his height with curly brown hair. They bond quickly over the fact that they both brought tons of music posters to hang around the room, and Jonas doesn’t even blink at the trans flag he places in a cup of pens on his desk. He’s perfect.

His classes are easy for him, and more fun than he expected, even the ones not relating to his major. He speaks well, has always been a good student, and gets on all his professor’s radars within the first few weeks with how articulate and insightful he is. He jokingly thinks to himself after getting praised one class for his eloquence, thank god for private school.

He joins as many clubs as he can, too. One for photography, making a note to look for the nice camera he had gotten one Hannukah, some kind of club that he ends up dropping because all of the other guys in it are the type of film bro that David always swears to never become. He also joins LGBT clubs, one for trans people specifically and one more general, and blushes when he’s asked to join the Burlesque club, turning the invitation down with a pleased smile. He makes friends fast through all the clubs, quickly finding people in each of the little niches he was forcing himself into. He tells all of this to Amira with a proud grin that falls the second she decides to start calling him Mr. Popular.

There are other things he does well in, up at school. He’s a little put off at first, how quickly people are to come up to him with small, private smiles already on their faces, touching his shoulder and laughing even when he doesn’t say something funny. The people who would squish themselves up against him at meetings, or put a hand on his arm to ask him a question about something in class. He can’t say he minds the attention at all, feel a little bit in his own cocky way like some prince with suitors parading around his castle doors. It only goes to his head a bit.

That stops a couple months in, when he starts actually noticing the girl in one of his only non-film classes that had been making eyes at him since the first week. Their professor always has the class sit in a circle to “better facilitate discussion” or whatever, after David notices her looking at him, a small smile on her face with her eyebrows raising when she sees him noticing her,, and they spend the rest of that class, raising their eyebrows at each other and smiling, daring the other not to laugh.

David catches her on the way out of class a week later, and finds out that her name is Amelia, finds out that she has one dimple on her left cheek that gets bigger when she laughs, and finally finds out that yes, she’d love to get lunch with him. She has hair that she tells him she dyed the mixture of greens and blues one night when she was drunk off of a bottle of wine and found her roommate’s leftover dye in their bathroom. She

When David gets back after his first year is over, he feels accomplished. He had done fantastic in all his classes, had clubs and friends to return to once the next year started, and as he drives home, music blasting in his car, he realizes he’s excited to have some time off.

When he gets back both of his parents are waiting by the door to greet him, proud smiles on their faces as he tells them about finals, and how much he misses his friends and Jonas and his girlfriend, that he’s definitely going to be inviting some of them to the house over the summer, and that he needs a new pair of headphones because he lost his good ones in the chaos of moving out. He feels like he’s rambling, but he’s excited to see his parents and actually talk to them again.

They tell him that they want to take him out to dinner to celebrate him finishing his first year and doing so well, and he runs up to his room to get changed at their insistence. He would’ve been happy just staying at home, ordering something from the local Mexican place that he’s been missing, but he know if they have an idea for something more celebratory he won’t be able to stop them. That’s confirmed when his dad calls up the stairs that they have a reservation at the most expensive restaurant in his town.

He gets into the backseat of his dad’s truck, buckling himself in and quickly taking his phone out. He wants to see his friends as soon as he can, and had promised to text Amira when he got home. He opened his conversation with her and started typing.

David: Hey, sorry I didn’t text sooner, my parents wanted to take me out and they’ve barely given me time to breathe

As he waits for a response, he realizes that he should probably text his girlfriend, too. He snorts at himself for not thinking about it and opens his messages with Amelia.

David: I’m back!! You’re probably still driving so keep your eyes on the road and text me when you’re home <3

He gets a text from Amira just as it sends, and he switches back to that conversation.

Amira: Ah yes, your best friend is much less important than a fancy dinner David: 🙄

He was going to send more but before he can, his mom sighs, and he hears, “Oh look, we haven’t gone there in so long!”

He picks his head up and looks out the window in the direction she’s staring, and they’re at a red light so David has time to realize that it’s the restaurant his dad owns. He tilts his head, biting the inside of his cheek, and goes back to texting Amira, and checks to see if Amelia responded.

“Maybe we can go another night,” his dad says, turning his head just enough to catch David’s eye over the back of his seat, “we need somewhere fancier, our son just finished his first year of university with straight A’s!”

David smiles before casting one more look out at the restaurant as his dad starts driving again, and once it disappears from sight he turns back to his phone. He doesn’t like to think much about the restaurant, though he knows the reason they haven’t gone in a while. He doesn’t like to think much about that reason, either.

After Matteo was sent to live in Italy, David had a rough time dealing with it. He had lost his best friend, the one person he could talk to about all of the new and terrifying thoughts that were just beginning to drift through his head, he lost him before he even had a real name for him to know. He was angry, at the world for taking him Matteo away, and then at his parents for refusing to let him talk to Mrs. Florenzi about it.

“You don’t understand,” they said to him one night, after he had gotten so frustrated he had kicked a hole through his door and thrown everything off the desk in his room, “yes, you lost your best friend, but she doesn’t have her son with her anymore. If you ask her about him it’ll just make it worse. We know you miss him, but this is for the best.”

He didn’t talk to them for weeks. After about a week of complete silence in the house Laura stormed into his room with the intent to yell at him over something, and it all boiled over. He started crying the second her glare focused on him, and then he started talking. He told her about how Matteo was the only person who understood him, didn’t question what he did or said or called himself, just offered support and companionship no matter what. Through his tears, in a shaky voice, he explained to her that he was a boy, that it was okay if she didn’t want to talk to him anymore but he couldn’t deal with only one person knowing, especially if he didn’t have that person anymore.

She had sat on the edge of his bed and listened, nodding along until David could breathe again. She thanked him, told him that it was okay that he was angry, and asked if he had a name he wanted her to call him. He had hung his head, ashamed that his answer was no. She had nodded at that too, and said, “Well, we’ll find one then.”

David sighs at the memories that had come flooding back at the sight of the old, slightly dilapidated restaurant, and texts another friend. His dad orders a bottle of wine at dinner and pours David glass after glass, until his mom cuts him off with a tipsy laugh of her own, and he’s smiling with red cheeks when they leave later that night, stumbling to the car on steady legs as his parents laugh fondly at his state.

He collapses into bed that night with an urge he hadn’t felt in a couple of years. He takes his phone out and unlocks it after a couple of tries, ignoring the messages from Amira from earlier and opening Instagram. He gets distracted commenting on a friend’s post, but then goes to the search page and hesitates before typing in Matteo Florenzi.

He’s done it before, of course, tried to find him on every new social media site that popped up over the years, and he’s never found anything. That’s why he sits back up in his bed, his jaw dropping open as he sees an account called matteohno, and sees the profile picture, sees that he can almost recognize the face in the tiny circle, and he clicks it.

There are more pictures than he expects. He scrolls to the bottom, trying not to get ahead of himself, and clicks on the first picture he sees. It’s tagged with the name of some restaurant, as far as he can tell, and Matteo is in frame, David can tell it’s him. He has the same button nose, same floppy, dirty blond hair, same half smile on his face like he’s waiting for the right time to let a full one out. David lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

He scrolls through all of the pictures, his heart tightening each time Matteo is in them. The memories that have always been hard to think about, of a little boy, sensitive, quiet, happily following David’ lead, were especially hard to reconcile with these new pictures. Matteo looks like he’s grown into himself, more confident in himself or his abilities, David doesn’t know, but it makes him smile and send a pang of something through his chest.

There are pictures of food, and Matteo alone, and Matteo with random other people, all the captions in Italian so David can only guess what they say. He stops when he sees one, Matteo and some other young looking guy, their arms draped over each other’s shoulder as they laugh and each hold up a rainbow flag.

He locks his phone on the image, feeling something strange and nostalgic twist up in his gut, and drops his head onto his pillow. He closes his eyes, thinking back to days full of running through his backyard, hiding from angry parents and talking more deeply about life than kids should be able to.

He wakes up the next day, mid afternoon, with his head pounding and his phone buzzing with a FaceTime call from Jonas.

“Hey, man, is this your shirt?” Jonas asks, and David squints at his screen to see button down shirt he’s holding up, “I think it got lost in all my shit.”

“Uh, maybe?” David says rubbing a hand over his eyes. He blinks them open again and sees Jonas on his screen, smiling knowingly.

“Too much fun celebrating with the parents, huh?”

David flips him off.

“Okay, okay, love you too bro,” Jonas says, chuckling, and then continues, “I have to go though, I just found out that one of my old friends is coming back from Italy this week, I need to call him and yell at him for not telling me.”

David feels his face drop, but puts a smile back on and says goodbye before Jonas hangs up. 

[hamilsquadwritings]

The Flowers (Philip Hamilton Soulmate AU) ~ part 3 ~

A Soulmate AU in which flowers bloom from your left ring finger, coiling up and around your body, Identical to your soulmates. They stop growing when you meet and turn white when you get together

Soulmate AU in which flowers bloom from your left ring finger, coiling up and around your body, Identical to your soulmates. They stop growing when you meet and turn white when you get together Soulmate AU in which flowers bloom from your left ring finger, coiling up and around your body, Identical to your soulmates. They stop growing when you meet and turn white when you get together

(I decided to work on an old idea I had on my old blog @stargazelaurens and develop it properly)

Words - 2.2k

Warnings - Eacker being an asshole, a couple swears

Tag list {omg people want to be tagged?!<33}: @elizabethgrace459 @agelicl-y @popbubblegum @livylululivy @fanfic-addict-98 @xoxotashxoxo @laic2299 @multifandom-loser @loomingisabel

{{let me know if you wanna be added!!}}

Your flowers had stopped growing.

You couldn't be sure, but all of your flowers had six petals. All except the new one blooming, it wrapped its way around your pinky finger but only five petals were present. Uncertainty filled your mind. 5 petals. How long had they been there? Was it possible that it was working on a vine or a leaf, only to come back to the last petal, if there was to be a final petal.

It had been 2 days since you’d spent the night with your sister, Theodosia and Philip. Spending time with them was a solace and you were more then eager to be away from the monster that was unfortunately still your fiance. You spent a full day with them on a picnic yesterday. Sure it was a bit awkward to start with but at least you werent the only third wheel anymore, you had someone to keep you company while Theo and your sister occupied each other

---

"theyre pretty cute huh.." philip says softly. He was leaning against a tree while you sat across from him working on a drawing. He looks over across the meadow to watch your sister and Theodosia pick wild flowers to weave into each other's hair.

"they’re so perfect for eachother" you say looking up from your drawing over at them your eyes meeting his in understanding

"I wish I could meet my soulmate..." Philip sighed softly. He hadn't stayed up to date with his flowers. He'd been obsessed at one point, his eyes glued to his arm. He’d trace them with a pen, growing disappointed when a new vine or leaf would emerge from under the ink. He rarely glanced at them now to avoid the disappointment. Philip knew the chances of meeting your soulmate was slim but he couldn't help but hope, desperate as hope may have seemed. It didn’t help that he was engaged to someone who had already met her soulmate.

"me too.." you say as you take a second to glance down at your own markings. You looked to your newest flower tracing the familiar pattern with your fingertip counting the petals, sighing softly, still only five petals.

"Is everthing okay?" philip asks curiously

"uh.." you say quietly briefly looking at him and then back to your flowers "I think maybe my flowers might have stopped growing.. Im not entirely sure but I think they might have..?" You trail off meeting his eyes as you lean back.

"Do you know who it could be if they have?" Philip asks as he looks over, he catches a brief glance at your wrist, his breath catching in his throat, the flowers weaving their way around your hand looked so familiar- no no he shook his head. How could he could he even entertain the thought, there was no way...

"no..." you say with a soft sigh, even on the small chance that you had met your soul mate, the options weren't looking good. On one hand you had George; you would rather live without a soulmate than live with him. On the other hand the only other new person you had spent time with in the last few months was Philip. The universe would never be that kind to you, besides there was that teeny tiny problem. He waa engaged to your sister.

---

Philip had spoken to his mother the day after you told them what had happened with George. She, as expected, was completely horrified. She listened as Philip explained what you had told him and your sister and how it made him feel. He didn't need to embellish anything, he would never admit it but he cared about you, more than in just a sister in law way. He couldn't do anything about it of course, because you were engaged and so was he. But with your sister and Theo being confirmed soul mates he knew he would never be number one for her. Philip was honest with himself, and sadly felt a bit cheated. He'd always grown up with his parents' example, they may not have been soulmates but they did truly love each other. He thought he would have that when he grew up. Well, he had hoped anyway. But the world seemed to have a very different plan. The conversation you'd had with him the day after the picnic only made his feelings and thoughts more confusing. 

You were sitting in your room with your sister, Theodosia, Philip and Angelica when the Eackers arrived. The shouting was heard by all through three closed doors and a flight of stairs. Philip filled you and your sister in on what had happened the day before. His mother had interrupted Alexander at work to tell him he had to do something. He'd listened as his wife relayed everything Philip said to her that afternoon. Allowing her own suspicions of how their son felt about you to be heard as well. He  agreed to call off the engagement. Not only could Alexander see how much it meant to his son, but if a family was willing to pretty much give their youngest daughter away to be a prisoner locked in a room. It wasn't a family he wanted his son to marry into.

He'd met with your parents the next afternoon, they were equally horrified. Your mother was beside herself, your father however was embarrassed at hearing about it from an outsider instead of you. When he’d called you into the office to explain, your sister had spoken for you. She hadn't realised Philip would be talking to his parents so quickly. She herself had planned to bring it up that afternoon. Then the yelling had started. Your father at you. Your sister and mother at your father. 

Mrs. Hamilton had quickly intervened, telling Philip to take you, Theo, your sister and his upstairs. They would be the ones to handle things for now. Your father had sent a message for the Eackers, requesting their urgent presence. Alexander and Eliza had just taken their leave before the Eacker’s arrival.

The Eackers were in your fathers office with your parents for over an hour before you heard anything. A stark change to when the Hamilton’s were in there, it was so silent you could hear a pin drop.

"Y/N!" Your father calls. You look at your sister quickly, unsure what to expect. She stands at the top of the stairs with Angie, Theo and Philip as you make your way down. George was waiting at the bottom of the stairs with your father. His parents were already waiting outside in the carriage.

"Darling” George says with false endearment. “Your father has told us the most disturbing things. I'm not sure how you’ve become mistaken.. I am so sorry that you thought we’d ever.. well that we’d ever mistreat you in any way, I could never.." he says holding out a hand for you, taking yours when you stare into his open palm, he uses it to pull you flush against his, his other holding you close “you have to know that. I would never dream of treating my bride to be with such hate.” His voice was thick with sadness and regret. You were a bit impressed by  his acting abilities, though they were merely an extension of his twisted nature and despicable lies. You were even more repulsed that he could even put on such an act after the way he had planned to treat you. 

"Well now that all that has been sorted.. until next time Mr Eacker" your father says dismissively as he breezes past you both without a glance in your direction retreating back into his office. You looked around for your mother, she had already left to the garden, leaving you alone with George.

"Wait.. were still getting married?" You ask in confusion, your eyebrows furrowing across your forehead. You could feel your skin growing cold. The realization of your near future playing vicious images in your mind, this couldn’t be happening.

"Well of course we are sweetheart.." George saying taking your arm, squeezing just hard enough that it was uncomfortable. He watches your fathers office door shut as he leans in "listen, closely, I wont say this twice.. if you ever pull a stunt like this again.." his voice was rough and cold, dripping with the thrill of threatening you. 

You look up the stairs meeting the curious and worried eyes of your sister, best friend and the Hamiltons. George pulls you out of their view. You barely heard his harsh words, they didn't make any impact, you couldn't believe it. Not only had George managed to weasel his way around your father, but now your father was angry with you for telling the Hamiltons before you told him. According to him therewas nothing wrong and you had made a fuss only to embarrass him in front of the Hamiltons and the Eackers. That couldn't be further from the truth, although you knew he would never see it that way, if he wouldn’t listen to Mr and Mrs Hamilton what hope did you have?

You were pulled from your thoughts as George kissed your cheek, it took everything in you not to flinch "I'd spend as much time as you can with them. That room of yours is going to be terribly lonely.." he whispers lowly looking from you up to the stairs where your friends were waiting. George smiled widely and waved, leaving your wrist with a handprint, that brought a red color to your flowers, before he headed to the door to leave with his parents. As soon as they were out of view, you dashed up the stairs to join your best friend, sister, her fiancé and his sister. 

"What happened??" Theo asks asks as your sister hugs you tightly. 

"Nothing... he lied and- “ You had to pause trying to control the fear your voice was sure to give away. “were still getting married" you say quietly as you hold onto her. Theo wrapped her arms around you both, holding you close. She couldn't believe it. Much like your sister, she'd offered to go and sort George out herself when your sister filled her in on what had been happening. Theodosia was a big believer in soulmates, the day she found your sister was the happiest day of her life. She felt that everyone deserved to experience the once in a lifetime happiness. Though she understood why some people didn't marry for love, she'd always found it cold how people married their children off. Even when it worked out. It was unfathomable to her that George and his family would treat you like that, and to actively plan it before you got married was beyond horrific. 

"How- what-" Angie says looking over to Philip quickly. He stood with his hand clenched tightly around the banister watching the carriage retreat down the drive. His jaw was set and tight with tension, his eyes full of anger. He really thought this was going to work. When you'd told him and (S/N) what happened he thought your father would listen to his and sort it out. He was horrified to learn not only was George getting away with it but just as your sister had predicted, it didn't seem like your father cared. At least not enough to put a stop to it, unlike his own parents. 

When Eliza had told Alexander he'd been furious, admittedly not just at the situation but for his own reputation (which was a problem in itself but not the one Philip wanted to focus on right now). If word got out that his daughter in law was being kept prisoner in such awful conditions the fall back on him, as a politician tasked with shaping the future, would be astronomical. And make no mistake, it would get out, Philip and (S/N) would make sure of it. 

(S/N) was pissed, there was no point in talking to your parents now. As far as they were concerned everything was resolved, it was just teenage meddling, despite the fact Philip’s parents has been involved. Your parents, especially your father, wouldn't hear anything more on the subject. In fact he was likely to raise his temper if she even thought of bringing up the subject. She glanced at Philip before she and Theodosia lead you to your room. She could tell he felt bad about talking to his parents straightaway. He should've listened to her and let her approach your parents first, it was a little late for that however.. she thought settling you into your bed tucking the small blanket around you comfortingly. 

"Thats it... there's nothing to be done. I have to marry him.." you say slowly, your voice full of defeat.  Your shoulders slumped as your sad eyes look to your sister and your best friend, taking their hands in each of yours "I'm going to spend every second with you guys.” You said finding a new determination “The next time I see him will not be a second before I have to"

[romancemoon]

abatina, hollyhock, oak?

✨ @halbermenschen. meme. still accepting!

abatina :   is there anything in life your muse has changed their mind about over time   (   due to becoming more educated on the topic ,   certain experiences  ,   etc .   ) ,   or that they   would   change their mind about under certain circumstances ?  

the thought of being a parent used to make him wanna crawl outta his skin lol like he was like oh................. im not cut out for that sh*t. he saw people he graduated with having children, people he attended college with, et cetera. same for marriage. understandably someone that young would feel that way lol. esp since he was going through so much. and he couldn’t ever figure out if he had enough love in his heart to actually carry through with commitment and raising a family. there’s a quote from a book i rly like that kinda illustrates how he went from not wanting a family to wanting one

‘ . I look down and see my shaking hands, my dirty pants, the filthy bathroom floor. I am a drunk. I am a bulimic. I cannot love a child, because all I do is hurt the people I love. I cannot teach someone else how to live because I am only half alive.

[ ... ]

I am no longer a pool of tenderness. I am a tree. Everyone else can be hopeful and afraid but I am neither. I am resolute, solid, and separate. [ ... ] I can only save this baby who came and trusted me to come back to life. I cannot be distracted by anyone else’s feelings. I will be fierce and steady, like my mother. ’

so yes he wants a husband and children and yadda even tho he certainly said he would never anything like that ever in his life because he felt himself incapable of being that loving in his own personal life. he kind of had to have a long sit down with himself about it and basically drill into his own head that he’s not an awful person. and that it’s okay to want that kind of life for himself. and now he welcomes with open arms.

sometimes he finds it funny because his parents have a happy marriage even though theyre terribly flawed people ( well mostly his mom lol ) and all that. so he never got what external factor made him so fearful. most likely that split second of insecurity about his own sexuality, lack of experience, yadda.

hollyhock :   how strong is your muse’s sense of ambition ?  what’s something they strive for in life ?  

if u had to reduce virote to a single trait it would be ambition lol.... hes a steel trap shaped like a person. all the shit he’s had to overcome and he literally never quits. whether anyone likes it or not, he’s going to get what he wants. and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. he’s on a ‘ if i have to stab u in the throat to achieve a goal, i’ll do it ’ basis but hopefully he dont gotta go there because the only thing he wants to do is make the world a better place. :))))

he’s a tree... resolute... solid.... yea babey.

oak has been answered here.