#theyre thinkin small im thinking big

[bitchyblkqueer]

first of all responding literally seconds after i post is unhinged 2 i know i posted a public review but i really wasnt looking for a discussion.... especially one that tells me im wrong.....

also i dont follow book sales because im not an exec but the idea that the flash of all characters couldnt sell an anthology cannot be true. and novel idea they could hire more writers

[silentgravesdontexist]

HI ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm i was thinkin of a really cute ace x fem reader (or gn.. but pls f! reader) thingy if u do requests :3

so like the reader is part of the whitebeard pirates anddd her and ace have become probably the bestest "friends" (everyone KNOWS they want more than that). they often have banter but like the chemistry and tension is THEREEE :3

one night, in the crow's nest, ace and the reader would be next to each other, ace making her laugh her ass off as always and ace is so like SO in love wit her like as she laughs and holds onto her sides he just stares at her with that stupid grin

as the convo would begin to slow and the EYE CONTACT RAHHHH and basicuhly shes just staring at her lap but then her eyes drift to aces and js decide to point out his hands like "your hands are so big" and ace is a lil caught off guard but atp used to her random findings and hes like "nah yours are just small" and he holds them up for her to see, and she presses her WAYYY smaller hands against his and the size difference is stark but it feels so.. perfect! and they tease each other about it but in reality they like how it feels.. like ace's rough yet warm hands and the readers soft yet cold hands (cuz im iron deficient)

AND THEN SLOWLY THEY INTERTWINE FINGERS AND YK MAYBE THEY WERE THINKIN IT WOULDNT FIT BUT IT DID. their fingers lock perfectly! ace is liek "..pretty nice fit, huh?" and the readers like "yeah.." and for a moment they just stare at their hands, and the reader can feel the warmth from aces hands seeping into her cold ones.. and then their eyes meet.

AND THNE BLA BLA BLA THEY REALIZE THEYRE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER AND THEY HAVE THEIR FIRST KISS SORRY IF THIS WAS CRINGE OR IF IM BAD AT EXPLAINING I JS .. THINK THIS IS REALLY CUTE !! TY IF U WRITE THIS IN ADVANCE!

Mnhhh...would it be alright if I change a few things? The concept will stay the same though. Just a few details since I think its cute as it is. I'll tag you when I finish it. Might post it a bit...late since I'm trynna ready a few prompts for Whumptober though.

[jrueships]

The posts about jaygup and jalen are theeeee funniest shit ever 😭😭😭😭😭shit be having me dead😭😭😭

They're coming !!

[majimemegoro]

kinda tired of how yakuza characters all have like the same boring body just with slight tweaks in proportions so here are some body & eating/exercise headcanons for a few characters.

kiryu is probably the closest in my head to how he looks in canon, with the caveat that when he gets ‘out of shape’ in between games, he does actually lose some muscle tone. when hes in his most muscled form during the stressful main events of each game, he really does look LikeThatTM, but he doesn’t really do it on purpose. he just... drinks too many energy drinks and not enough water. kiryu youre dehydrated please take care of yourself kiryu please. also he eats stupid nonsense but somehow still has a hollywood-style body. his arms are SO good. has forgotten to eat vegetables for a whole month before. he has several gunshot-wound scars and also scars from the torture and the abdominal stabbings. [if anyone wants to go through the history and make a ‘map’ of the places on kiryu’s body where he would have scars, that would be amazing. i plan to do it myself but probaly wont have time for a few years.]

nishiki is a bit vain about his body. so hes the Health Conscious One [canon, y0 intro scene]. he doesnt diet exactly and hes always happy to eat a huge delicious meal while out on the town, but on his own he tries to make really balanced meals and stuff. his exercise regimen is second only to his haircare routine. he follows it strictly, but it’s nothing too intense. like kiryu, he’s pretty naturally good at being muscly and toned. hes never as bulky as kiryu though.

nishida is a small guy. stronger than he looks, but not shredded at all, hes just a normal pretty strong guy. loses weight in times of higher stress than usual (i.e. 100000 instead of 10000 stress, which is nishida’s daily level). tattoo is a Buddha and lotus flowers.

majima really freaking cares what he looks like. hes starved-shredded and hed do it on purpose if he had to, he wants to look ripped. he eats like garbage [canon, kiwami smile burger majima everywhere event] or just forgets to eat even though hes hungry. really disorganized and a mess but he looks good??? I guess????? hes passed out before possibly from eating only staminams for two weeks straight malnutrition, but it’s hard to say for sure what the cause was because he also... doesnt.. sleep. his joints are in surprisingly good shape, but his knees always crack when he stands up from his lil crouches. long legs. most impressive body part is probably his thighs and shredded abs. his butt is “the great plains”

its been said before but akiyama has. dad bod.

saejima eats a lot [canon, y5 gourmet substory with the girl] and exercises a lot, and gains weight really easily, muscle and fat. so hes super super bulky and well muscled, but not that shredded. like he often has visible abs but theyre meaty abs, not shrink-wrapped abs. he doesnt care what he looks like, but he wants to be  s t r o n g e. he doesn’t really like western food, and he refuses to even try smile burger. will pretty much eat anything else. despite his iconic eyebrow scar he doesnt really scar easily, most of his wounds heal without leaving too much of a mark. his boobies are one of the seven wonders of the world. also one of the few characters with a bodacious butt.

okudera is quite small, especially compared to the giant-size protagonists. maybe like 5′6″? he’s also one of those people who naturally doesnt get that hungry, and combined with his experience of starvation while dealing with trauma & guilt, the guy never eats enough. still in good shape from trekking all over the mountain day & night, skinny but really compact and sinewy. hes also mega scarred up [canon for his face]. not tattooed. his joints are in phenomenal shape for someone of his age and disregard for his personal wellbeing. gets sick pretty easily though.

kashiwagi. hes muscular but never shrink-wrapped like kiryu sometimes gets, but he has broad shoulders and a naturally snatched waist. his torso still looks like that no matter how many cold noodles he stress-eats. doesnt care at all what he looks like but people find it hard to believe because if they see him shirtless they think he has to be a narcissist (bc theyre jealous). has a really big tattoo (im thinkin full sleeves, etc) but idk what its of. actually only has a few scars aside from the facial scar.

please add your own, on new characters or where your headcanon on these characters differs from mine! i’d love to hear !!

[birthclod]

001 Ludsley 👀

YESS thank u for giving me this opportunity to go bonkers over this ship

when i started shipping it: when searching my blog the first time i proposed the idea was march 8 but the first content i made was march 10..... so five months ago 😎

my thoughts: ludsley lives in my brain rent free constantly and i love them so much for it... im always really happy abt my own rarepairs but like this one especially i think it’s great and i love making content for them and seeing ppl like it!! this whole thing just makes me really happy fdsjfdkjds

what makes me happy about them: umm everything fff... if you dont mind me Indulging(tm) i like thinking about how their similarities and differences line up and i like that it’s honestly a different but somewhat refreshing experience (peasley being loved for who he is and not his title vs. lud’s unfamiliarity of affection and being around someone who cares abt him that Isn’t his family), i think it’s just a nice connection, that they can be truly themselves around each other without much stress

what makes me sad about them: saying “the lack of content” is the easy man’s answer lmao so i won’t leave it at that

they’re so far away from each other..... also it’s something they kind of kept secret bc they had No idea how their respective families would react. by families i mean parents because their siblings are... Nosy so they found out on their own. but when they Did tell their respective parents they were surprised but still chill abt it, so it’s all good

things done in fanfic that annoys me: LMAO DOES THE FACT THAT THERE’S NO FICS COUNT

things i look for in fanfic: again no fics rip... id make some if i could focus enough to write a fic for them 😔

who id be comfortable them ending up w/ if not each other: well for peasley itd be luigi ofc, but i honestly don’t. really know for ludwig? if i thought abt it enough id make an oc but i don’t feel like it dfsjhkfd

my happily ever after for them: YKNO i can never see them like. living in the Same Place Together cuz peasley eventually becomes the king of beanbean and luddy takes kamek’s place as royal adviser so they’re still always gonna be really far apart but they’re fine with that... but the happily ever after part is them getting married (which is also treated as a union between beanbean and bowser’s army) and raising little elise together :) tho she mainly stays with ludwig haha

big spoon/little spoon: because koopas have removable shells, it alternates! i think ludwig should sometimes be the little spoon he deserves it

favorite non-sexual activity: sports/games/competitions etc. are good!! tennis games esp. because if theyre on doubles they Will be almost unstoppable. also most things involving the arts, dancing’s a small one i like thinkin abt cuz it’s one of the few things ludwig’s not big on doing in front of an Audience but he’s fine with it if it’s just the two of them and no one else because they can just. dance, together

[kattimariias]

some ideas for updated sonic rereleases, in a similar vein to p4g/p5r ;o;

(this is part 1 bc i kinda lost ideas for now orz)

sonic adventure relics

i dont know much abt the original sonic adventure so im going off of memory

obviously there’d be a big graphical overhaul, but nothing like sa1dx. since all of these will be on modern consoles theyre on that level. but hey least this means the cutscene animation would look better!!!

new playable character. her name is oridal and she has something to do with chaos, and that’s all ive got for now. idk about her species or gameplay style yet

new stages added which are related to oridal’s storyline

online multiplayer where u get to fuck around in twinkle park

dlc content included

sonic adventure 2 (idk about the subtitle for this one?)

neutral story which features three new playable characters, which i dont have any ideas for yet (yall can help with this in general)

free dlc side stories for amy, chaos, and tikal. all three are generally more involved with the main plot but these give more of their perspective (i think amy’s is more about her wanting respect from the others, chaos redeems himself, and tikal becomes in touch with modern reality)

a bunch of new stages obviously

an explanation as to how the fuck gerald managed to record that journal, why theres a pyramid outside of san francisco zone (spoiler: its bc its sonic the fucking hedgehog nothing makes geographical sense here), and a tie into shadow the hedgehog with mentions of the black arms

i dont know what the issues with the mech and treasure hunting stages are at this point so i guess those are fixed

more multiplayer characters + online multiplayer option

intelligence and luck bars added onto chao garden, alongside a new garden, more character chao, and online features

two player green hill zone

all of the cut dialogue + fixed sound and better animation

shadow, knuckles, and rouge get their melanin back

comic sans nerfed

this

sonic heroes: reunion

team hooligans + team retrux added

fang is speed and he rides his motorcycle, bean is flight and uses his small feathers to fly, and bark is muscular enough to crush watermelons

mighty and ray are speed and flight obviously, and play similarly to how they are in mania plus. power is a new character that i again have barely anything on

all characters have different stages so you dont have to go through them over and over again

they also have unique abilities that allow access to hidden areas

less slippery controls

the overall artstyle looks like an updated version of the cgi cutscenes

story isnt drastically different outside of the new teams, and people are shocked to see shadow being alive

shadow the hedgehog: bloodstained (bc of course this needed an edgy subtitle)

this is the least likely out of all these but i’m doing it anyway

rated T like it initially was, and does include some gore and onscreen death

rouge and omega are playable. rouge’s gameplay is like mgs while omega is more akin to shadow’s

also rouge now has a gun

and of course theres another new character who is probably in cahoots with the black arms, or maybe even a metaphor for the player themselves?

the story gets pretty fucking meta with the more routes there are, and the characters become aware of things repeating itself. which eventually leads to them discovering they are being controlled

gun upgrade system

you can now target enemies

shadow occasionally has flashbacks that reveal some parts of his backstory, from early days to spending time with maria. these are saved as tapes ingame, which you can access via the menu

sonic the hedgehog: rebirth (aka sonic 06 2.0)

ohherewego.png

the story’s reworked to have sonic be more involved in it and well...more understandable i guess?

silver and blaze meet later in the game, silver’s alone at the start (and blaze is still from another dimension, she’s called upon to help sonic)

all amigo characters get dlc stories

metal sonic, marine, and cream are also in

elise gets kidnapped less often and learns how to defend herself. shes got like sun powers which she uses to her advantage

new playable hedgehog character that changes things up in someway (leaving it vague for yall to help out)

day/night cycle

rainbow gem

chao garden as an optional chill out place

obviously the glitches are fixed

artstyle is more semi realistic

sonic unleashed: roar within

an idea ive had for the werehog for awhile is changing his gameplay to be more hack n slash. so i guess that for this?

new character is also a werehog who got turned into one for reasons you’ll find out

chip follows you around during gameplay, and helps you out via like...combinations of attacks n shit? idk i suddenly thought of this and it sounds cool/cute to me

night gaia sometimes turns into a chiplike form and attempts to fucking murder the guy. yknow like in mario sunshine when shadow mario takes away fludd?

shadow and knuckles are relevant to the plot bc yknow. chaos emeralds.

rouge, omega, tikal, and chaos too. also some of the newer characters bc continuity

not ALL of them would be super important to the plot but yknow

new locations added. im thinkin like...a mexico inspired one?

no more sun/moon medals

new shorts

night of the werehog 2

[solidburnreturned]

by popular demand, here is my oc chatter regarding stuff like relationships n random character traits. its rly long oops but i divided it by character at least lmao,, these are all things that i think id also wanna use if i ever use these characters as humans (which i def will at some point honestly)

- i thinkkkk i want toad and pike to date. toad would come across pike in their lagoon one day while hes wandering around on another wonked exploration and pike is like hey lol :B with their pointy teeth and long ass hair and toad is like :0 he just sits and talks with pike for hours and comes by a few times a week to hang out with them. they fall in LOVE

- fred and lani are def gonna date too. two butches who use he/him pronouns fuck yeah? they have a powerful relationship. mega BDE. power couple. not a lot of pda but alone together theyre both very loving and tender, its a vulnerability thing for both of them. like lani is very cool and can be either stoic or borderline obnoxious while fred is punkish. fred is very head over heels for lani tho 

- mardi n berg.....complicated....i gotta figure out how they actually end up together. berg is a jogger and mardi is a piercer/tattoo artist so that doesnt....make them line up very much in that department. ill think about it more and figure something out. itll probably have something to do with berg’s nose stripes and eye rings

- also side note on mardi......i want his backstory to include a grey period set off by his brother being eaten when they were both young at the troll tree. like he becomes angry and depressed, sorta like branch, his tattoos that he gives himself the only color on his body, until he learns to let go and his colors come back (high key this was inspired by 21 savage, mardi’s voice claim, and the line in his new song A Lot “my brother lost his life and it turned me to a beast”). ill develop this idea further but i just wanted to get it written down

- bismuth.......unsure. they had a crush on pepper and kept trying to ask her out until she came out to them as a lesbian, then they were like :’) but theyre ride or die theyre not gonna be an ass to her because they cant date her. they just care a lot about her. its like icarly

- gazpacho and jupiter CUTE two small trans trolls in That Love. i need to develop them more but. theyre just cute 

- talia is still a little too new for me to develop her......but im thinkin about it...

- kinda same with ernie and olive. they kinda mostly just exist as cute babby characters right now? if anything olive is a trouble maker and ernie is a chatterbox

- clem and thursday also fuckin cute as hell......clem was a nervous wreck asking thursday out but theyve been together like ever since, which is more than a few years. they have a rly cute gentle lovey dovey relationship. thursday is usually hanging around up on her gf’s shoulder giving her kisses on the cheek

- bea and crystal.......adorabl relationship......crystal is another character thats kinda nervous but bea is so chill n confident is helps calm her down. theyre both trans and love the hell out of each other. rly slow n steady relationship, bea is very patient

- pj and marcus!!!! dumb mlm rep relationship. pj is so so gay for marcus he can barely comprehend it. its a dumb ego boost for marcus but hes also very in love with pj, he just expresses it in a weird cocky way idk marcus is a nerd. i need to make more content for them i think about these two way more than it seems

- dwight!! he has a boat. he lives on the boat.....ive thought about maybe pairing him with toad and pike. deciding on his voice claim has been the most difficult thing ever

- kass and current HELL yeah buff gf and tol gf......they spar with swords and wrestle for fun and hang out at the beach a lot. kass fuckin loves the gem on current’s back. i gotta make more content for them 

- celia......i wanna do more with celia. friends with berg probs theyre both sporty. shes just a sweet giant troll who loves mushrooms. i gotta pair her with someone whose palette goes nicely with her pastels 

- carrot and harriet are literally cricket and tilly from big city greens just older. yeehaw siblings. havent thought about relationship stuff with harriet yet.....i think she also needs ANOTHER redesign her colors are just too heavy still. maybe if i can make her colors compliment celia’s that could work as a pairing? hm hm.....carrot tho is dating ford’s oc rye theyre gentle country gays

- rainer. hm. i dont think theyre rly the dating type......theyre just chill with being them. they just wanna swim and be funny

- hammond and andromeda are probs two of my least developed characters.....hammond still needs a redesign. he might be cute to pair with walter, theyre around the same age. andromeda tho i have no idea. she might be a nice pairing with eve? if i ever feel like pairing her with someone...who knows. eve is very carefree and might find andromeda’s energy too intense

- radish i wanna make more content for!! i rly like her a lot....i think shes another troll who isnt interested in dating. shes very focused on being a chef instead. loves her friends a lot!

- mack and pepper 2gether 4ever obvs......they have a relationship that gets richer with age for sure

- im just gonna ramble about mack. i thinkkkkkkk i wanna make her half latina? columbian specifically. she doesnt quite read as white and i didnt make her with the intention of making her white. anyway i love mack a whole lot and should really develop her backstory more. its not rly as like...””tragic”” or whatever as pepper’s i know that but she def has layers. i wanna give her whole family more depth. she has a very complicated relationship with her own feelings and motivations that i need to think about more fully. my powerful femme tho i lov her

- mack’s parents, robin and champagne, i need to like....think about them more. they have kinda a comedic relationship thats sorta inspired by roger rabbit and jessica rabbit. robin is a very caring, gentle troll who’s very smart and cares a lot about his nursing responsibilities in the village. champagne is very relaxed and the “voice of reason” character of the family. she loves a good party and has her party planning down to a science. both are very successful power parents. kickass family

- i already talked about topaz and marney in a separate post but i still love them both so much. big wesbiabs

- pepper....pebber. im gonna talk about her the most obviously gfhjdkrs i wanna talk about her mental health i feel like i think about it a lot but i never write about it explicitly? this is gonna be long oops hgjfksd she has depression and ptsd stemming from the trauma of her crash...im thinking she also has adhd and thats just something shes always had. her depression rly got heavy during her recovery and right after like...she hated being bed/housebound and felt rly powerless to her situation and just let it eat at her until her personality had actually changed considerably. like extroverted wild child rebel to introverted, soft-spoken sulker. this got better with time but she still is pretty introverted, just turned her moodiness into chill energy. 

- she has bad depression habits like letting dishes, old food, laundry, or just stuff pile up in her room until it gets overwhelming and she spends like two days just manically cleaning; or staying in bed for way longer than she should and messing with her hygiene; or eating way more or way less than she should eat in a day. just stuff thats hard to completely break out of when youre recovering. her color is pretty consistently the dark red but if shes having a particularly rough day she might look a little paler, or like a muddy brick color at her worst. thats kinda rare tho

- her ptsd is the thing she hates the most. for a while it made her feel very weak and she’d beat herself up over being traumatized by the crash which was obviously not helpful to her mental state but she was really all over the place during her bodily recovery. its part of the reason why she started working out, she wanted to reclaim some sort of feeling of strength and power that she felt she’d lost completely. she still gets really frustrated with this feeling of loss but she gets a lot of support from loved ones which has helped her not self-blame so much. her ptsd manifests mostly as nightmares/insomnia, chronic headaches/stomachaches, intrusive thoughts and sometimes flashbacks. the nightmares are what rly get to her, she really doesnt get a lot of good sleep and it can get to the point where she just doesnt want to sleep sometimes and she’ll stay awake until she crashes hard

- her scars used to be a big trigger for her ptsd, which is why she has her bangs covering the one on her face and wears long pants (her knee braces are too bulky for pants and would force her to wear shorts which would force her to expose her scars). she just. really really hates them. this is something she struggles with for a majority of her life

- once she and mack start going steady with their dating and start consistently sleeping in the same bed, pepper starts to sleep better. she still has nightmares that wake her up at least weekly, but having mack there to comfort her (whether she wakes mack up accidentally or if mack is already awake) helps a TON with getting her back to sleep soundly. it also just helps her sleep in general to have that comforting, loving presence in her bed snuggled up to her ;w; mack is a big help in general with pepper’s mental health, pushing pepper to make better, healthier choices and get out in the village more and have fun. mack for sure does not “”cure”” pepper of anything but shes a very positive light in pepper’s life that helps her pull thru tough times!

- i love all my goofy trolls so much. its so fun to just chill and blab about them to relax between working on big projects ;o; ty if u cared enough to read this whole thing ur so rad

[ofjeremy-blog]

╰☆╮ FRANCISCO LACHOWSKI ─ JEREMY CHAVEZ identifies as CIS MALE and uses HE/HIM pronouns. they’re a MODEL/ACTOR, and they’re only TWENTY FOUR ! they’re said to be +CHARMING, but also -REMORSELESS. i guess that’s why they’re known as THE PARADOX in the tabloids.

i’d like to start off by saying thank u for opening this shit post! my name is ellie and it’s too cheesy to say you’re watching disney channel so! can’t say that! anyways i’ve been dying to use chico for 10 years and just never did and saw this rp in the tags and was like? o? and now im here! ive been dying to use chico for 10 years but do i know how im playing him or wtvr? nope! but i’m still here please still tolerate me thank u xx 

background info

born n raised in manhattan! 

comes from old portuguese money. his family has always been rich and i’ve just now decided that it’s because they migrated from brazil and started some company like? or maybe they were investors who invested in hella shit and that’s how they kept their money. the chavez family are old money investors and i’m adding in socialite to that. the mom could have a skincare business that’s successful too we’ll go w that. 

doesnt know what it’s like to struggle he was given everything he ever wanted and kinda knew what humble meant but it was only because of kendrick lamar telling him to be sit down n be humble 

he grew up going to some rich elite private school and were his grades ugly? i mean lowkey but did he give a shit? no bc again he doesnt know the meaning of struggling and he knew his parents could just pay off whatever the fuck he did so i mean? to him? school was a time for socialization and he wasnt really into studying he kinda just went bc all his friends did u feel 

he didnt try much in school but he was also a good guy during this point. he was friendly n didnt know the meaning of being humble  and also used his money to his advantage  but he was still a good guy at this point u kno like. think of joey from friends i have that inspo for him u know? like goofy, into flirting w the ladies, etc. kinda ditzy but he’s hot and 6′3″so i mean? 

anyways he fucked around in high school but then junior year maybe he got a steady girlfriend that actually lasted after the short lived relationships he had to lasted at most 2 weeks. he fell in LOVE love w this girl and they were together n couldve been that cute couple u kno

jere was WHIPPED whipped, but then something happened and they broke up n that shit hurted

like most boys who get their heart shattered, jere never learned how to recover and instead started playing w girls n shit. he decided to bleed onto others instead of patching up his own wound and now hes a hurt dumbass who hurts others thinkin it’ll help him (it doesnt! surprise! wish men knew that!) and like. literally trembles when commitment is mentioned or even asked of him like? 

commitment? ded dont kno them 

anyways since he wasnt booksmart and didnt give a shit about high school, he didnt go to college (his dad hated that shit and the mom didnt really give a shit. she was a socialite n cared for appearances and he was an investor who wanted a smart son but jere said fuck his dad wanting brains 4 him n listened to his mom when she said appearance is key

he started modeling and is now slowly getting into acting. he hasnt done  much big acting roles but im gonna say hes been guest starring on hella shit n getting recurring/minor roles for now

thats it for background info! 

personality info

so! like in the background when i mentioned his heart hurted after being dumped end of senior year he started playing woman and was no longer the whipped sappy hopeless romantic that he used to be! 

he’s still a nice guy, but his intentions w girls r just for the fuck n no commitment. he’s like the three sisters in hercules. he sees string n goes snip snip 

 idk why im calling him the paradox but ! for him he like appears to be a good guy and he is to an extent (hes kinda like joey but like a more successful actor kinda with a shittier personality) but like hes the big bad wolf when hes not trying to act like an innocent grandma

he’ll b upfront w girls n tell them that hes not looking  for anything serious but then he’ll play them up and be really good to them and literally just string them along and then go in for  the kill when he knows theyre hooked n then he’ll place the blame on the girl/boy/wtvr by saying “i told u in the beginning i dont want anything more.  this is on u” like that type of bullshit u feel

basically like in the quote he acts all innocent but in reality hes a shit head who looks like a good guy but hes really not n its all bc he got hurt ONCE (literally once) and then decided he didnt need 2 b careful or consider w others hearts. 

men r disgusting sometimes 

and thats basically jere! 

his personality is heavily like joey but when it comes to girls he plays them like the quote says! he looks like a golden boy but really hes like that ugly brown after uve mixed all the colors 

and thats it! 

connection ideas

the highschool sweetheart that broke his heart. she doesnt have to be the same age as him, but would have lived in manhattan during their high school years and it wouldve happened during his junior and ended during the end or even like mid end of his senior year! 

since he’s joey it’d b cool to have a chandler! give me that shit fuckin’ love brotps bro

maybe a brother/sister like relationship? some sibling type of relationship? im gonna say he had an older sister and an older brother but hes not that close w them bc the age gap being 4+ years (not small but hes dumb) 

for him it’d b cool to have unrequited crushes! fwb! one night stands gone wrong or ended beautifully! anything like that the more the merrier for him he loves things that gives n can receive pleasure xx

brotps!!!! love brotps so much give me any brotps im literally the biggest slut for brotps always 

enemies would b legit?? maybe they just dont like him bc hes a dumb ass who doesnt kno how to be humble or bc hes just a dumb rich boy?? maybe he fucked w their significant other n cheated or something?? maybe he played w their hearts n pulled the “i told u i dont do commitment” bullshit n strung them along n now they hate him? enemies r legit we love that shit too

and thats its! 

basically any plots im down for jere is kinda just out there hes just living his life we love connections n if u dont wanna plot then! thats ok too we can just go w the flow n decide on the spot when a reply happens or something u know! if u do wanna plot tho then u can message me on the side or like this post or reply to  this post n ill come to u and u know anything ya! thank u 4 reading this shit post if u got this far u really r the real deal love u thank u

[rancid-jester]

expirimenting with the kind of relationships im portraying in this new story im working on and wanted to write it out...

there are two seperate narrators:

Helena, a nonbinary transfem (she/her),

and Jonah, who is just some guy (he/it),

these are the other characters: Stella, a cis woman, she/her... Rosa, nonbinary, they/them... Adam, a cis man, he/him... Dirk, a trans man, he/him... and Brandon, a cis man, he/him.

and like first of all I don't generally write characters who are like me very well for some reason... however Jonah is a lot like how I was in middle school. undiagnosed autistic who just fucking hates new people. Helena is less like me but she has like the vibe (actually Helena is the name i call myself when I feel more feminine, lol)

and like the relationships are already interesting cuz Jonah hated Helena because she was new to it but he's like slowly accepting her existing because she's the only one showing sympathy to him (he's a prick and its friends have just kinda given up on it, but she's like "well obviously theres a reason")

and then there's Jonah and Adam, Jonah has a big crush on Adam, who used to bully it in middle school but is now his closest friend, and Adam prefers his twin brother Dirk (who yes is a trans homestuck and named himself after Dirk Strider)

and then like I'm not sure what I'm going with Helena regarding the relationships she has with the group, but I know Stella has a crush on her, which i think will lead to a very casual relationship. but like I'm thinking she might also end up having something with Jonah because I love a casual polyam vibe in my stories. But also i love the idea of them being casually queer platonic besties like me and jaxx

I also want to expand more on the non-pov characters, especially Rosa at the moment because they don't have a romantic link to anyone. I'm thinkin that they're aroace, and so far i've been focusing too much on the romance aspect but i want each character to be well-written and interesting to read about.

Stella also doesn't have much about her yet. So far she's a stoner with pink hair, and even though she has a private scene with Helena we havent learned anything aside from her hobbies. i have to figure out what links her to the others, aside from being queer and punk and a poet.

Adam I think has plenty of info for what I want people to know so far--his attempts to be as kind as possible, his control issues, his goldenboy persona, his people pleasing, and some hints at his issues. I'm doing a lot with Adam lol.

I also want to bring Dirk in more. He's currently in a ward and all we know about him is that he has bipolar depression, he's Jonah's twin brother, and everyone likes him better than Jonah. I want to kind of show that he has some guilt for that and show how much he loves his brother and wants the best for him, while also maintaining him as a character apart from Jonah.

Also Brandon is kind of just a support character for Helena, as her older brother, but I do want him to have a plotline. He's sort of meant to represent my own older brother, which is what makes it difficult to see him as a person outside of Helena. Also, he isn't a part of the main group,and he doesn't really hang out with them much, aside from walking home with Helena and Stella.

Also important is why the group sticks together. Stella, Adam, Jonah, and Dirk have known eachother their entire lives, since they grew up in the small town together, but what made Rosa a part of their group? Why are they keeping Helena around? They're all poets, theyre all punks, and theyre all queer, and maybe that's enough of a connection but I want there to he more ties involved, especially for Rosa, as the one who was an outsider before Helena. What made the group accept them? Why do they stay with the group despite Jonah's assholery and the constant drama between Adam and the twins?

anyways i've only got two finished chapters so far and i suppose i should write character sheets now that i've articulated some of what i want to do with this!

[musubiki]

Hc about conflictedshipping visiting another region? Sinnoh maybe???? Love your work ❤️!!!

hoOOOOOOO BOI LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THEIR TRIP TO KALOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

➞

im making it MANDATORY THAT THEY TOOK A SEMESTER ABROAD IN KALOS DURING THEIR TRAINERS SCHOOL TIME

(also this is where that one line of diaglouge in xy comes from. that one chick who tells you that green was there studying and only ever said smell ya later)

i was thinkin about giving them pokemon for this trip but. i think its better if their first pokemon come from prof oak later.

(gd i wish pom and vee were here for this that wouldve been amazing)

when they first got there leaf was worried that he was irritated he had to spend the whole semester with her there. he kinda scoffed and smirked at her and said something like “Are you kidding? I’d be angrier if you DIDN’T get the scholarship.” cuz they’re rivals. and he expects no less from her. he tells her something like its bad for his image if his rival isnt as good as him. he’s actually kinda happy that she’s there with him and he’s not gonna be all alone. 

this actually makes leaf really happy and kind of. sets the mood for the whole trip there

so they end up staying with this older couple who live in the heart of lumiose city and usually house the students every year. ofc they’re thrilled tho have leaf and green there. the wife owns a bakery/cafe and the husband works at the docks down in coumarine city. as a condition of them staying there, leaf helps with the bakery and green helps at the docks

when they first go there. they find out that. the kalos school doesnt require uniforms and theyre both kind of “???? so you just wear whatever??” greens perf fine with this but leafs kind worried bc she didnt bring THAT much clothes, so the couple takes both her and green shopping for kalos-style clothes. this is where leaf gets this outfit from and she LOVES IT shes adorable i love her so much

when green first sees her in it hes a little surprised because WOW what. “shes actually. kind of ok looking.” hes blushing shut up you idiot 

so they get to their new school and everyone intrigued by them oooo new transfer students whaaaat??? green right off the bat is all confident and doing his usual thing. winks at like 3 girls and they’re all fawning over him first thing.

but the school is very welcoming to them!! they get a lot of transfer student from all over the place so they have a lot of different people from different places!!

they actually have a pretty good time. a lot of the kids from school drop by the bakery just to. see leaf. same with the girls for green and business is good. amen. the couple is actually shook because they have so many profits

on weekends they get to go see kalos!!! its pretty.,. nice actually like esp traveling to like cyllage and laverre and anistar(leaf loves anistar city) 

and green is actually really enjoying theyre time there. it kind of feels like.,. dates.,. kind of.,. and he never voices it and STILL ACTS LIKE A JERK BUt.,. spending time with her here in kalos is actually kinda cool,,. we should do this more often, he thinks

they go to all the little cafes and explore that big mansion with the gardens, they actually get to go rollar skating around a couple times and ride gogoats like they live kalos life to the fullest

sometimes when they study at night he goes to her room and just chills with her on her bed (she has a huge bed and it’s really comfortable compared to his). they take turns reading the material out loud and leaf. really likes it when he reads she just lays there and stares at him and he. has a great voice shes dying a little here guys //

leaf always felt a little bit homesick. once when they were chilling in her bed she asked green if he missed home. he kinda sat there for a bit before answering with a “no, not really. it’s actually kind of nice to get away from everyone. there no real pressure to be anyone or do anything.” 

she wasnt exaclty sure what he meant but lowkey. he was actually talking. about her and him. because in kanto they’ve been rivals for so long it’d be weird to hang out with her and go see places like they do there. but no one in kalos really know them so hes just.,. ehuhhhhhh i dont wanna go home

okay ANOTHER THING THAT HAPPENED IN KALOS WAS THIS: at some point, one of the students at their school fell desperately in love with leaf and she. didn’t even like him at all. like he was just some persistent rich creep so yes. im doing this. no one can stop me. to get him to give up she asked green to pretend to be her boyfriend for like. a day or two just so he’d leave her alone. 

OFC GREENS LIKE SMIRKING THE WHOLE TIME SHES ASKING HIM THIS AND SHES BLUSHING AND EMBARRASSED BUT SHES TRIED EVERYTHING ELSE. 

greens actually a little irritated by this and is kinda ehh at first because. he doesnt wanna fool around and then actually catch feelings by accident (he doesn’t want to temp god like this hes already enjoying their time together) 

but shes. desperate and so after a few more pleads he.,. agrees and she kind of feels bad. so she apologizes for dragging him into this and then. she asks him “Can…can you handle it?” she didn’t mean it as an insult or anything she MEANT ARE YOU COMFORTABLE ENOUGH TO DO IT

but what HE HEARD was a CHALLENGE so he just. stops. and turns to her. and he grabs her by her waist and pulls her REAL close to him and leans in and just “Can you?” with the widest smirk and like. the sexiest voice. and she just becomes this blushing terrible mess and shes stammering over all her words and he just fokijnff laughs because god. this is gonna be fun. 

fhjkf this is horrible okay so. the next day at school ofc hes true to his word so here we go. they pretend like theyre going out. and its the biggest scoop of the whole place. girls are crying, teachers are shocked. in the distance, sirens.

green is a pro at this bc he teases her enough as is, now he just needs to take it a little further and he’s actually enjoying the reactions he’s getting from her. like he can fuckin gently grab her hand and she turns into a mess like why did i ask him to do this i am an idiot

when they get home that night green is just laughing his ass off because she., is terrible at this and he cant believe it. she makes up some excuse and after some banter and making fun of her, green tells her that if she really wants this to look convincing, she gotta get better control over it. hes smirking the whole time. so she gets even more flustered and asks if he has any great ideas, to which he replies yes.

lets practice, he says. and she if confused and honestly a little scared. she asks how and he actually. sighs and sits down in front of her and for once, is actually smiling instead of smirking. so he adds a “Don’t freak out.” before,. gently taking her hands in his. 

shes trembling and takes a deep breath before lacing her fingers with his and this. actually turns into a nice kind of moment. the whole time hes watching her eyes. and he can see shes still nervous so he tells her. “How about we pretend like… we’re actually together for a while.” 

and shes blushing like hell because oh my god shes liked him for so long and this is so nice with him but it actually hurts a little that its not real

so he,. slips his hands around her waist and pulls close and presses her against him and slowly nuzzles his nose in her hair 

and hes. actually kind of enjoying this. 

and this feeling boils in the pit of his stomach as his lungs fill with the scent of her hair and it sends shivers over his skin and he feels his hands tracing over the small of her back and the warmth of her body on his and through the foggy blurry haziness in his head the only thought that comes out is ‘Oh no.’

and then BAM one of their caretakers slams the door open with a “Hey kids, dinner is ready!” and green IMMEDATLY grabs her arms and pushes her away and his face his red. She responds with a shocked quiet “Oh, I hope I wasn’t inturrupting-” 

and they BOTH CUT HER OFF STAMMERING AND STUTTERING WITH “No it wasn’t what it looks like-!” “We were just- uh- practicing-!” “FOR THE SCHOOL DRAMA COMING UP-” “YEAH-” and shes just. giggling and a little surprised with an “Oh! Could’ve fooled me!” before she leaves. 

and green and leaf are just standing there in awkward silence and leaf is rubbing her arm while green is rubbing the back of his neck and she leaves with a brisk “I-I think we should go get dinner-” before they both go downstairs

the next day it turns out that rich creep was too heartbroken from seeing her with green the day before that he transfered schools entirely, so oh, I guess we don’t need to keep up the act anymore, and green answers with a yeah, cool, and ignores the small feelings of disapointment and covers it up by going back to his usual snarky self 

he forces himself not to think about this for a long time because he doesnt wanna get caught up in the feels. Leaf, however, thinks about it all the time because it was really nice, but green doesnt bring it up and they were just pretending anyway hes just used to being a flirt it wasnt a big deal for him

(it was)

that was the first time theyd ever been that close and also. the last time until saffron

they have a lot of adventures here that i cant. fit it all here but they had a really good time

[ssorethroat]

bnha, 001 for the ask thing ??? yre one of my fave mutuals even though we've never talked but yre so cool and yr art is amazing and ; A ;

 i OMG FIRST OF ALL I GASPED???? YOURE SO SWEET ; M ; i cant believe this .. im so sorry weve never talked before but i would love to start!!! you seem super cool and really kind and i looked for your art but i couldnt find any but u should link some …. ITD BE REALLY NICE TO SEE!!! TT v TT I HOPE I CAN GET TO KNOW YOU MORE THIS IS SO EXCITING IM SO HONORED.. ; M ; omg im making the text super small and putting it under a readmore bc this is SO LONGGNGJDFKNGKJFD

Favorite character: /shoves my entire deku shrine into closet while mumbling Uhhghudfgd oof i dunno .. IM JK ill be proud about it. the light of my life the joy of my heart is deku he tries so hard … it inspires me to try hard too … HAHAGDFJNGJKFD but i really do have a mini deku shrine in my dorm room i force my friends to say hello to my son before they enter. THATS WEIRD .. but im such a big sucker for the underdog story and i love the very .. long term take on the self sacrificing hero narrative where he literally just busts his bones out!!!! i like how he has to adapt his approach by dealing with realtime consequences for it!! i think it makes him a really interesting protagonist and i often dont find myself caring too much for the main protagonists like i do for him .. i love him :[

Least Favorite character: I MEANNNNN OK MINETA ASIDE BC I FEEL LIKE THATS A GIVEN… i dont really like monoma though i think its interesting what horikoshi did w him!! as in i just think hes annoying CRIES .. i dont think that means hes not a good character though ogdfnj WE’LL SEE!!

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): AHAGDKJNGJFKD ok .. i love todobakudeku n im just gonna say that or else the pairings inside that will take up 4 slots..  ooof i love erasermight … i love MOMOJIROUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU SO MUCH .. i also love iiocha … and miritama.. ; - ;

Character I find most attractive: OHHHHH OK …… OK ………. GENUINELY? i cant draw these ppl but i wish i could… Buckle yourself in but shouji mezo.. is like objectively so attractive like hes got the shark grin under the mask? the emo hair? hes after my heart … and? i love his personality its so strong and stoic .. shifty eyes .. ughhhggjnjn also .. blood king is SO hot. so is the dragon lady WHEWWW… ectoplasm is also like so hot i could die you know what if guillermo del toro could make his fish man have a butt that wont quit i can be in love with ectoplasm i want him to serenade me with all 36 of his clones

Character I would marry: OMG NOW THEYRE HITTING ME W THIS CHARA I WOULD MARRY QUESTION AFTER I JUST ADMITTED MY TASTE IS ALL OVER THE PLACE hmm i guess personality wise id want to marry momo actually shes so sweet and kind and CUTE she tries her best ; m ; ..

Character I would be best friends with: OMG I REALLY DONT KNOW im thinkin hard trying to compare my own best friends … on one hand? tokoyami and his mad banquet of darkness .. other hand? i feel like my friends are all as supportive and sweet as kirishima ..

a random thought: i really love TWICE as a character.. i think his backstory was the most interesting of the villains (that have been shown).

An unpopular opinion: AHHHHHH I HAVE A LOT!! BUT ILL SAY THIS (though idk if its unpopular) … i dont think the female characters are given good treatment NOT just costume wise. i think the only female character we’ve really gotten a fair amount of development (even approaching the level that male characters have gotten) of is uraraka and even then im kinda like  ehhhhhhhh this isnt enough … horikoshi does a good job showing female characters in strong positions doing strong things BUT i dont think thats the same as treating them with the amt of depth they need, giving them complex story arcs, etc. i also dont care for them being used simply as devices for the character development of male characters if they arent given stories beyond that. i hope we get to see eri some more and maybe her recovery bc i think horikoshi portrays abuse well and the healing process for todoroki was realistic. the dialogue for chisakis emotional abuse was really realistic to the point of me freaking out a lil bit LMFAO… another unpopular opinion is that i kind of dont care about endeavor’s potential redemption arc too much either way, i just hope whatever happens is handled with nuance…

My Canon OTP: deku capturing the hearts of the nation

My Non-canon OTP: bakugou x cognitive behavioral therapyMost Badass Character: UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGNJFDGNJDF GANG ORCA. I ALSO CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT HIM I CHANGE EVERYTHING ABT MY ATTRACTIVE+MARRIED ANSWERS FIRST OF ALL, I WANNA GET PLOWED BY GANG ORCA, SECOND OF ALL, I WANNA MARRY HIM    I would give my whole life to gang orca. My canon otp is me x gang orca

Most Epic Villain: AHAHAHAGHDFNGJKAGHAGAFJGNKJD I HATE TO BE LIKE THIS BUT mr compress? truly? iconique…. i also love rappa he just wants to fight and honestly? relatable…

Pairing I am not a fan of: hmmm … i dont really dedicate a lot of time to disliking pairings but i dont really ship non platonic kacchako i just dont really like it bc it reminds me of some tropes ive disliked in the past!! i also am not really a fan of stabi :/

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): (snarls) SHINSOU WAS ROBBED secondly more attention needs to be given to hatsume mei. she is literally a genius prodigy mastermind and yet shes given like 3 pages after her ICONIQUE SHOW STOPPING performance at the sports festival .. give us more … 

Favourite Friendship: I LOOOOOOOOOVE THE MIDORIYA/URARAKA/IIDA TRIO!!!!!! I SAW SOMEONE I FOLLOW TAG THEM AS THE POWERPUFFS AND I LOVE THATTTTGNJDFKNGJKD I ALSO LOVE KIRIDEKUS FRIENDSHIP .. ; M ; and you know what? I think bakudeku is getting there .. i hope we can see them be good friends comfortable w each other !! AND IN LOVE!!  

Character I most identify with: WELL actually believe it or not its todoroki LMFAOOGNJKGFD not bc im as sweet or nice or cute or amazing as him but just bc i Hashtag Relate to his emotional journey following parental abuse.. i guess if you dont factor that in i also am equally terrible with kids when i had a brief stint as a volunteer teacher they were always dragging me i guess not for the five pee pee thing so i guess it could be worse but. You know 

Character I wish I could be: i wish i could be have my life together as much as aizawa does .. he always got his sleeping bag w him? he living in 3000017…

[whorangecassidy]

been thinkin bout joeys vignette a lot in terms of- well- everything, but like. kinda in the context of my fic as well? lord knows im a big daydreamer so of course my mind went to fic shfkkgjf

many soft self insert thots under the cut

i did make it reader insert but wbk its supposed to be about my persona dartanyan, so i started thinking about how she'd react to the video; him saying his best years are behind him and thinking of her own career. albeit their careers are not the same virtually at all, but just talk of it made her think.

shes still young, around jack and markos age. shes not been wrestling very long. she does do matches here and there, and theres a reason shes in aew- shes good. but shes not in the title picture, shes mostly on dark and being used in filler matches on dynamite, not a jobber per say, but shes starting to feel like one. and shes scared that shes gonna spend the best years of her career as a valet. as a distraction that people look at as eye candy and not for her talent.

so she finds herself on the roof of the parking garage after the show, trying to escape from everyone for a while. sitting on the hood of joeys car because she thought he left with someone to get drinks. and shes just staring out at the city with this sad, blank look in her eyes as she thinks about where she is in her career. the staircase door opens and shuts, she hears the click of a lighter and footsteps, but the footsteps stop briefly in surprise as their owner sees dart sitting on the hood of his car. her back is towards him and shes too lost in her own mind to acknowledge that joey's behind her. he walks toward the car, realizing its her and coming to sit next to her on the hood. she doesnt even turn her head to confirm to herself whos sitting next to her, because she knows its him. of course she knows its him, how can she not? she knows his footsteps, the smell of his cigarettes.

they sit for a moment in silence before joey speaks up. "so, what's a vamp like you doing up here on a night like this?" he glances toward her and takes a drag of his cigarette. she doesnt look at him and shes fidgeting with her hands while she thinks of how to respond, how to explain whats going on in her head.

"i was thinking about your vignette." he only nods slightly in response, knowing her well enough to know shes got a lot to say but is still trying to find the words. hed normally try to be all witty and try to make her laugh a bit, but with the way she didnt even turn to look at him he knew something was up.

she looks to her feet and takes a deep breath after another moment of silence before speaking up again. "i became a wrestler to prove something. i wanted to prove to myself that i could do it, that if i work hard enough i can be this big star that ive always wanted to be." she pauses briefly, looking back out towards the city "i wanted to prove that people like me- that women like me- can make it in this business based on skill and not looks. that we can work our way to the top without having to have our tits out, without being this thing people only watch because they think its hot. i worked my ass off to get here. but now that im here im just.... im just being used as a valet. as a distraction." joey's brow creases in concern as he sees dart tearing up, shifting in his spot a bit but not touching her. "i just... dont wanna spend the rest of my career as a joke, yknow..?" the last bit is almost choked out as a whisper.

its quiet for a moment as joey thinks about how to respond. he doesnt say anything as he pulls her in, one arm around her as she rests her head on his shoulder. shes not exactly crying in the traditional sense, but shes not stopping the tears as they fall. joey rubs her arm and speaks up, trying not to tear up too. "youre not a joke, dart. screw anyone who thinks you are. if they cant see how fuckin talented you are then they dont know what the hell theyre talking about" he pauses, squeezing her shoulder lightly while looking for his next words. he knows he cant pretend to know what shes going through, and he knows she cant pretend to know what hes going though. but the two of them know theyre both feeling forgotten, insignificant. "whatever happens.. no matter what, im here. because i know youd do the same for me. hell, you have done the same for me. and god fuckin damn me if im not gonna do everything i can to help you."

they sit together for a while, dart just letting the tears fall while joey holds her. theres a point where she rests her hand on his knee, so he reaches over with his free hand to take hers, nuzzling his cheek to her head at the same time. he lets his eyes shut, just feeling the contact of her being close to him. after a long while she softly peeps up, tears finally stopping. "jojo?" he half-opens his eyes and looks over to her with a small "mm?" in response. she finally looks over to him. her eyes are still somewhat sad, but the feeling of love and gratitude is overwhelming the sadness. "thank you. for everything." she squeezes his hand with the words and he gives her that sleepy lopsided grin. "anything for my favourite girl." he says, squeezing her hand right back.

[gayspock]

dont rb dont reply

slike what can you do i can fucking Run from it even more i can pretend like its Not A Thing but the reality of the fucking situation is a big old: Welp. like there’s really nothing i can fucking do and nowhere i can fucking go and who Cares i should just die but i never fucking do fucking. dumbass fucking Idiot dumbass me and i dont know man i dotn fucking kno m just. a joke i know im just a fucking joke and slike. who doesnt fucking th ink that???

man i dont know m fucking just sobbing and i keep fucking writing bi g fucking. rants stupid fucking rants like its gonna change anything like its going to Fucking Matter and i know it wont i know it wont but Bursting and i jssut. i odnt know what im just 

like m just Mad and upset and yknow when you just. Wish you werent a fucking joke. wish you were like... i dont even know if it ufkcing  makes sense. yknow when u just wish u were Equal to everyone else- you werent so fucking det ached, and you weren’t so. Inferior. slike man m jsut. sic k and fuck ing tired of eveyrone fuck ing rub bing in my face how fucking wor thless i am and slike. half the time they dont even fucking realise theyre doing it??? and i cant SSay anything because i know it doesnt matter i know ym fucking word is Zero i know it and i hear it in their fucking voice that they think everything that comes out my mouth is stupid fucking hors eshit. i hate it whne the people that “”Care”” think  im nothing but a delusional fucking wreck and dont even lis t en to a god damn fucking Thing tha t i ahev to say, because all my thoughts Ever fucking are to them  - everything that i am  - is complete and utt er fucking garbage nonsense because im stupid, and they know be tter and what does anyhting i fucking say even Mean because im so worthless. and i know im fuckin worthless because God Knows they aint fucking. treat me like i fucking am and im not saying i dont deserve it?? because i probably do. like if everyone acts like that then it isnt them thats he problem. im comfortable with the fact its me and my fault and i dont know but maybe im not because im so fuck ing upset all the fucking tiem about it and i cant just take it i have to be a brat and i have to fucking cry constantly about not being Enough about being so fuck ing small and pathetic and i dont know man ifucking

i wish i’d just kill myself i wish i Did all the fucking time or i wish i’d ran away before properly not just come crawling back when i was scared im a fucking idiot for thinkin there was anything back here and i know theres nothing anywhere but i dont fucking know i dont fucking know i’d love a fucking bullet in my skull right about know and slike man man man i jsut fucking so sick of jsut existng m so sick of jsut . being Here and tangible and having too Breathe and exist and on top of that m so sick of my self i just fucking want to strangle my self iGOD i jsut wanna hit myself so so fucking bad i feel fucking sick i wanna Vomit and yknow when ur just. gettng stressy and upset at your own fucking body just fucking feeling the MADDENING impulse to fucking rip it and chip away Bit by fuckig Bit because its horrible its ha Horrible thing to exist im fucking stupid im so so fucking . im so mad at everything that i am like yknow when youre just like- why cant you be something worthwhile for once why did you HAVE to be so fucking incomepetent so ntohing so fucking worthless, why is it that no mtter howw hward you try you fucking get nowhere and get nothing and no one fucking gives a shit REALLY not really youre an idiot and everyone can taste it and thats aaaalll you are [wwooooowowoowowoowowowoow] DARN my fuckign. like i fucking know i know i know mmjsut.    sssssssss

[frop]

do all of them you mother fucker

not Once but Twice u have done this to m 

Star Platinum – Your thoughts on the stars? i always did like then when i was younger but now they just make me think of jojo so now i especially like them 

Magician’s Red – Do you know any magic tricks? no but im gonna say what u said and i can bend my fingers waay way farther than most people

Hermit Purple – Show a photo of yourself! I HAVENT taken a selfie in forever i’ll do one later 

Silver Chariot (Requiem) – How much sleep do you need on average? i would love a good 10+ but i only get that much on saturday now boo but on average its like 6-7 

The Fool – Tell us a joke! Is your refrigerator running? Because i’m gonna suck your dick

The World -  A place you want to visit? canada like you would not believe 

Crazy Diamond – What do you treasure the most? hmmmmmmm my friendships with my friends 

The Hand – Do you like your hands? nnnot particularly bc i spent a good portion of my life and still do sometimes where i bit my nails til they bleed so they dont look as nice as i’d like them to be when they grow out 

Echoes – Your favourite sound? The world’s time stop sound, but not jotaro’s version, dio’s specifically

Heaven’s Door – Share a secret! my parents’ divorce has made me scared for the future of my own relationships to the point where i can see myself not ever wanting to be in a relationship ever again bc it would be easier than my partner getting tired of me or hating me. on top of the fact that i’m almost exactly like my father and my mom’s ex fiance in every single emotional department which is what caused their divorce/breakup respectively in the first place and that leads me to believe that in the long run i am Romantically  Unlovable 

Killer Queen – How would you like to die? preferably quick and painless 

Bad Company – What kind of character trades do you dislike? any character that is like ‘waahh wah no one understands me bc i enjoy [’highly advanced’ niche series/book/etc] and they all read [popular series/book/etc] like whatever the fuck his name was in aku no hana, it got so obnoxious i had to drop it lmao 

Red Hot Chili Pepper – Can you handle spicy food? cat’s out of the bag guys im actually a Fake Mexican bc i only like mild stuff and hot chips 

The Lock – Anything you feel guilty about right now? ya but thats for another day 

Love Deluxe – Are you secretly in love with someone right now? its absolutely no secret that i am in love with jonathan joestar 

Pearl Jam – Your signature dish? i can make some mean ass rice apparently 

Achtung Baby – Do you want kids? nnnope no thanks never ever i have my cat and thats enough for me 

Harvest – Do you pick up coins in from the street? no bc u dont know where thats been and money is super dirty already 

Cinderella – Which part of your body do you like the most? dang, i guess my thighs? but lately i’ve been a lot easier on myself abt my stomach and how soft it is 

Atom Heart Father – How is your relationship with your father? pretty good bc we’re really alike in temperament too but sometimes it gets pretty awkward bc he can never see me as anything but his little baby daughter who Never Grows Up

Enigma – What is puzzling you currently? when is davidpro gonna drop the part 5 teaser 

Earth Wind and Fire – What’s the best classical element? i personally have always liked fire 

Stray Cat – Cats or dogs? i love both but man im more suited for cats 

Gold Experience – A precious experience you have not shared with your followers? oh man over this summer my dad his gf and me and my sis when on a trip to her dad’s place in this really small town that was like 3 hours away from our city and it was so nice and quiet and peaceful and i felt so clean and happy there, we were only there for a couple days but ever since i’ve really been wanting to go back

Sticky Fingers – Zippers or buttons? zippers are so much faster but they get caught sometimes so Really, pros and cons of each 

Moody Blues – A song that makes you sad? OOO man i was gonna say epitaph bc Of Course but as i was writing this down melancholy man by moody blues came up on this playlist and now im thinkin abt abba and crying 

Sex Pistols – Have you ever shot a gun or riffle? no im tiny and a weenie and i would probably die from the recoil

Aerosmith – Are you afraid of flights? ive never been on one but i am scared of heights so i cant imagine thats any better 

Purple Haze – What makes you really angry? it used to be not being listened to but now i just let it happen bc Why bother but now its more whenever my mom makes a big deal out of simple mistakes of waiters/waitresses or when shes being obviously racist 

Spice Girl – Your favourite spice? idk what its called but theres this one i like to put on fruit before i eat it to make it Spicy 

King Crimson – Is it possible to predict the future? man idk my mom says yea but who knows 

Black Sabbath – How easily do you trust people? like stupidly easy 

Man in the Mirror – Do you like looking into the mirror? nope lol im ugl. ALSO bc i have a bigger than average fear of reflective stuff in general bc what if i see somethign behind me u kno,,,, 

Beach Boy – Have you ever been fishing? nope! the one time my dad went that i knew abt i was in mexico 

The Grateful Dead – What do you want to be remembered for? honestly, anything else that being the ‘way too nice one’ or the doormat 

White Album – Your favourite CD? aaaaa i dont have one i dont really listen to albums 

Talking Head – Are you a good liar? i guess ? i can keep a pretty straight face but its harder to lie to someone i actually know really well bc they can probably tell what my tics are 

Baby Face – Your thought on babies? theyre cute but i would greatly prefer to never have any 

Metallica – Do you like listening to metal? yea

Green Day – Ideal way to spend a day off? sleep, Sleep, stream with friends and lay in bed

Oasis – Best place for a holiday? hhhhh anyplace that relaxes u tbh 

Stone Free – Are you a indoor or outdoor person? i n d o o r i dont like bugs 

Kiss – Who would you like to kiss or get a kiss from? jonathan joest

Burning Down the House – Ever destroyed something and then regretted it? nah, once again im a weenie and im too worried abt consequences to ever do smth like that

Foo Fighters – Your favourite drink? god damn i fucking love raspberry iced tea 

Diverdown – Your thoughts on diving? the ocean fills me with the fear of god. no thanks 

C-Moon – What would you do for your friend’s sake? put myself in bodly harm 

MadeinHeaven – What do you believe happens after you died? nothing tbh you just end up in a grave or urn or wherever u wanted to be put 

Weather Report – Your favourite weather? man i looove love stormy weather 

Whitesnake – Your thoughts on snakes/reptiles? i love them theyre all gorgeous and beautiful

Tusk – Tea or coffee? coffee

Ball Breaker – Your favourite ball game? to play? its basket ball but to watch baseball 

Oh! Lonesome Me – Do you feel lonely right now? no not right now but im sure it’ll happen soon 

Scary Monsters – Your favourite dinosaur? i love velociraptors and also triceratops !!

Cream Starter – Do you usually wear make up? nope and if i do its only ever lipstick

Catch the Rainbow – Your favourite colour in the rainbow? blue and green!! 

Ticket to Ride – What was the last ticket you bought for? i didnt buy it but the last one i had was for the rogue one like. 2 weeks ago

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap – Do you believe in the multiverse? i dont think abt it too often but sure

In a Silent Way – Do you enjoy complete silence? yes!! besides some music, i cant concentrate otherwise 

Soft & Wet – Shower or bath? shower bc its easier but i havent taken a bath in forever 

Paisley Park – How good are you with reading maps/directions? Terrible God Awful

Nut King Call – How good are you at assembling/constructing things like Ikea furniture? hmm it depends if i have the manual for it and if i have time to really think on it and im not in a rush or anything

Paper Moon King – Can you do any origami? nope 

King Nothing – Your favourite smell? i really like the smell of cinnamon 

BornThisWay – A strange habit you have? i crack my fingers all the damn time and i like to take off the little plastic circle off of soda bottles and chew on it 

Les Feulies – Your favourite plant? oh damn hmm i like lavenders 

Fun Fun Fun – Something you really enjoy doing? man. i could watch jojo a million times over and i’d never get bored of it 

California King Bed – What size is your bed? currently i sleep in a queen size bc my mom and sis and i share a bed bc we only had one room in our old apartment but now that we moved im sure i’ll be kicked off into a twin soon enough 

JESUS christ ok its almost midnight i hope ur happy you mother fuckre 

[cojode]

1, 2, 5, 6, 7, 10, 11, 12, 20, 21, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 50 !! :)

1: What are you wearing?currently a gray t shirt, running shorts, and my glasses

2: Ever been in love?no

5: How much do you weigh?~130

6: Any tattoos you want?yes!! many. i plan to start small with little ones like my zodiac sign (pieces) and possibly one of those eyes that ward off evil. i also maybe want a smiley face for personal reasons ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ eventually i might work up to larger ones i want, which would be a rendering of a painting. i found an amazing artist on instagram that does awesome painting tattoos (@evakrbdk). dunno what painting yet tho.my only issue rn is where to put them all lol

7: Any piercings that you want?maybe a nose piercing but thats it. (or my ears cuz they arent pierced)

10: Favorite bands?the killers, the smiths, marina and the diamonds, bruce springsteen, lorde, the cure, sylvan esso

11: Something you miss?currently: a bunch of my friends :(constantly: summers where i used to spend weeks on end at the beach (now im stuck working at home)

12: Favorite song?this is like picking a favorite breed of dog (theyre all good)! currently: the louvre by lordeconstantly: read my mind by the killers

20: Where do you go when you’re sad?my bed

21: How long does it take you to shower?10 mins if i hustle, but its usually more like 15

24: Turn on?athleticism is a big one (strong legs, can kick my ass). all my fictional crushes can beat me up (korra, maximum ride, scully). also a good sense of humor. people that i can laugh with until i cry own my heart

25: Turn off?basically being a dick. anyone who doesnt respect personal space or is high maintenance (im very lowkey/introverted)

26: The reason I joined Tumblr?i think it was mostly for humor & to interact w cool artists and fandoms. at the time i was really into avatar and percy jackson

27: Fears?bugs!!! not all of them, mainly crickets and centipedes :/also being alone forever & extended social interactions lol

28: Last thing that made you cry?just had a therapy appointment so stuff during those always makes me cry haha. mostly thinkin abt college and leaving my friends and family

29: Last time you cried?therapy

50: Favorite movie?ah!! too many to choose from. i can narrow it down between sound of music and mad max: fury road

(send me tmi asks!)

[diaryofan-f-listpornstar-blog]

im pretty confident i wanna just die im torn weather this is the end or the beginning of my coming of age mid 20s movie my whole life ive had this thing about me where people just seem to be anti me. it sounds crazy but theres been like tons of situations like the time i was at a party in high school and this guy said dont tell no one i was here and smiled and said alright guy. i aint really know him. he thought inwas bein sarcastic and choked me. i hate him i still wanna fuck him up. theres this other time where we had this dumb assignment where we had to break social norms and we couldnt really think of anything ground breaking so we decided to buy some drink from starbucks using pennies. when my friend did it they compt his drink thinkin it was funny. when i did it they made me count the whole thing up. i mean i know that was probably what was gonna happen but it always bothered me. instead of getting by on charm and looks i learned i had to have some sort of function to be valuable and liked. now that im like hella an adult i hate this part of me. i feel like just so far away from people emotionally. im probably simultaneously going through some of the best and worst shit right now and im finding my depression really hard to deal with. i cant really take care of myself lately and i know thats only making me uglier and uglier. this punk house im in has low morale and no hot water and every sink is clogged. i been just too sad to like bring myself to fix anything. im going to paris in less then 2 weeks because people like my clothing. thats cool but im like just so stuck in this fog i like dont even care. on top of this i just feel like my relationship with grace is kind of phasing out. she has another partner and i cant find one because depressed and working alot to make this fashion bullshit work. i dont even know what i want out of life right now. like this is cool and i know success in it is around the corner but i feel like its just that servant part of my life highlighted? is tgat weird like im just out here makin shit that i dont even have a strong meaning for its just random shit and then i have to depend on influencers selling my shit cause they make it "cool" i serve a function to all tge people i see day to day. on top of this my brother with skitzophrenia calls me and begs me to come live with me while half crying half laughing and hea just so fucking far gone its really fucking hard to handle. i just try and be positive and tell him that people arnt out to get him but i feel like were just a few months away from some tragic episode where hell kill someone or hurt himself really bad. hes already had 3-4 different cop scenerios where they had to hold him down and tranqualize him for almost beating up his mom and brothers because he thinks theyre ruining him? on top of this man i just wish my dad was here to navigate this static but hes gone because he did too much meth. he lost his handle too. this bloodline must be cursed or somthing everyone seems crazy and fucked up. on top of this while looking for our porn online i find a shiiiit load like everywhere. and every. single. one. with a comment section is just people baffled by how ugly and hideous i am and how small my dick is. i swear my dick was average like 5.5 but now im all fucked up about that. like its more then popular opinion that im ugly and unlikeable and mow unfuckable. i mean it just kinda verifies all that other shit i was freaking out over when i started this blog. i cant shake this i hate myself mantra i dont know who can help and i just want to be choked to death. i think the only reason i keep going is because my mom invested so much into me that if i killed myself she probably would too. and i cant do that to her. i fee so fucked up and sad and i just feel like my life is a big joke but like a joke told at an empty comedy club where theres just a few drunks who go for the bar because they have the cheapest well drinks.