#theyre in the warning section
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we need to bring back authors notes. for fic but also for formal writing. im working on my applications rn and i leave an incredible amount of comments throughout for both myself and person editing. most are not even questions theyre just like annotations of my own work "this technically isnt true heres what actually happened" "*explanation of how much my undergrad research PI sucked*" etc. sure these are things i should incorporate smoothly into the actual essay but also i think i should be able to say "A/N the preps will hate me for this!!!" etc in my personal statement
#when i realized i was spending more time putting explanations in my commemts than writing the respective section#i was like hmm maybe this is kinda a way im bouncing ideas off an audience#but also i will warn people reading my writing hey i leave a lot of comments on my own work read them or not theyre kinda for me kinda for u#ultimately tho i think authors notes of most forms are things that could be smoothly incorporated into the work#like on my ghost fic i lowkey wanna compile my comments into a bonus chap of thought processes and backstory#but also as i think thru the notes i had i realized they were things i shld just write into the story itself
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also found a surprise book when i went to pick up a reservation at my library !! it was akwaeke emezi's the death of vivek oji i was so excited to see it on the shelves and brought it home w me :3
#my library has a very limited measure of books (60% of the english section is just books i ordered home feom other libraries and then they s#tayed in mine when i returned them) so like. when i browse rhe three shelves with english literature i always get so excited seeing books i#either havent read or borrowed before and ghat actually sparks my interest !!!#i LOVED LOVED LOVED akwaeke's bitter and pet. they mean EVERYTHING to me#however fair warning theyre suuuper tough. theyre pretty hard to read emotionally so u gotta heed the warnings!!#nohr.txt
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Mi vida | FC43 x Reader
pairing . . . franco colapinto x rbr!driver!reader
summary . . . What's better than one chaotic F1 driver? Two! And that's the story of how you got together with your boyfriend, Franco
request . . . no!!
word count . . . N/A
warnings . . . none! story set few days before monza! cringe-ish (??) dialogue at the end?
faceclaim . . . girls from pin!
alexavia yaps . . . woohoo!! finally wrote a smau again and its for my boy franco!!! kinda short but yeah i made franco and y/n gen z pr nightmares!! hope yall enjoy it <3
yourusername
liked by francolapinto, maxverstappen1, yourbsf and 2.3M others
yourusername look at my driver dawg he's losing this race Tagged: francolapinto
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maxverstappen1 he's in a williams
yourusername and?
maxverstappen1 him losing shouldn't be a surprise
francolapinto 😔
yourusername MAX DONT BULLY HIM
maxverstappen1 ill make sure to tell him sorry when i lap him
francolapinto what did i ever do to you max
maxverstappen1 say lewis is your idol
username1 i live for the rbr teammates and franco fighting
username2 raw. next question
username3 girl went to f1 and became a whole new person (cough franco terroriser cough)
yourusername i need to put him in his place, I AM the one with the redbull seat not him
username3 Y/NRPLIED HOLY SHIT
username4 praying for their pr managers
username5 i just know they made max's life a living hell
username6 i'm shaking for the interviews because i know y/n and franco will be menaces
username7 franco's f2 interviews and y/n's interviews now scream 'i will destroy your life'
username8 woah
username9 y/n please post more y/n
francolapinto who's that handsome man
yourusername me
francolapinto you can't be this beautiful
yourusername wow okay tell that to your next girlfriend because WERE DONE
francolapinto dont break up with me before my first f1 race ill ram you into the wall
yourusername ill crash in fp1
francolapinto noo mi vida youre so sexy pls dont die haha
yourusername forgiven 😊
username10 are we just going to ignore them breaking up in a comment section
username11 that happens like thrice every day just ignore them
username12 man i love them
username13 goats of f1 frrr
username14 theyre so iconic being the first couple in f1
username15 meow
username16 real
username17 screaming crying throwing up
username18 manifesting franco ends up in the points
username19 what about y/n??
username18 queen always ends up in the points
username19 mb mb
username20 franco calling her 'mi vida' MY HEART CANT TAKE THIS SHIT
francolapinto
liked by yourusername, alex_albon, bizarrap and 1.1M others
francolapinto life is hard (p12 in my first race) but at least mi vida got p8! and we did the track walk together 😊🫶 Tagged: yourusername
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username21 i REFUSE to believe franco typed that caption
username22 FRRR like its too innocent and peaceful
username23 their pr managers took over
username24 HOW IS HE SO PRETTYYYY
username25 my kind of love frrr
username26 no.1 couple argument closed
username27 sigh i wish i was a wag
alex_albon photo credits?
yourusername up my ass
francolapinto no mi vida only i can see up your ass
yourusername what he said
alex_albon tmi....
username28 theyre back!!!!
username29 i live for their chaos
username30 got me on my KNEES
username31 what id pay to be her
bizarrap ayyy ¿cuándo vas a hacer que nos veamos? (ayyy when are you going to make us meet?)
francolapinto pronto pronto (soon soon)
bizarrap dame una fecha exacta hermano (give me an exact date bro)
francolapinto cuando vienes al gran premio (when you come to the grand prix)
bizarrap vale vale (okay okay)
username32 I SEE THE AESTHETIC VISION FRANCO
username33 shes so pretty omgggg
username34 idk if i want to be y/n or franco
username35 holy shit hes gorgeous
username36 came here for franco stayed for y/n
yourusername woah youre so hot
francolapinto youre hotter
yourusername nahhh youre way hotter
francolapinto kiss me if im wrong but im hotter
yourusername then i wont kiss you because youre hotter
francolapinto fuck i didnt think of that
yourusername ill still kiss you just come over to my driver room
francolapinto 🏃🏃
maxverstappen1 should i be worried or....?
yourusername mind your business max
maxverstappen1 i'm the one who's going to here those disgusting noises not you
yourusername too bad
alex_albon i feel like i should be grateful its not happening in williams
francolapinto im here mi vida where are you i cant see you
yourusername im right here in the room??
maxverstappen1 WHAT IS FRANCO DOING IN MY ROOM
francolapinto shit wrong room
yourusername hurry up franco
francolapinto On my way!
maxverstappen1 let me leave the garage first
username37 man i love them
username38 HELP FRANCO GOING TO MAX'S ROOM???
username39 did max just expose them or
username40 i feel like im intruding reading the comments between them
yourusername
liked by francolapinto, maxverstappen1, bizarrap and 2.8M others
yourusername haters wish they were on our level fr Tagged: francolapinto
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username41 if being in a parasocial relationship with them was a crime id be executed
username42 THE PICS??? EXCLUSIVE SUBSCRIPTION??? EXCUSE ME???
username43 how are they both so good looking
username44 the face card is INSANE
username45 I NEED THIS SO BADLY UGHHHHHHH
username46 STOP not the matching glasses
username47 need a boyfriend who will take me on bike rides while i wear my redbull helmet and he wears his williams helmet
francolapinto i dont want to see my beautiful face i want to see YOUR beautiful face
yourusername but youre so pretty how can i not put your face more than mine
francolapinto mi vida your face isnt even on there
yourusername yes it is
francolapinto its covered by that ugly helmet
redbullracing 🤨
francolapinto this one is ugly i like her own customised helmet
yourusername aww amor 🫶 i love your helmet and i love you
francolapinto i love you more
yourusername no i love you more
francolapinto no
alex_albon if you continue with this sappy stuff ill vomit
yourusername okay 'goodmorning baby'
alex_albon SHUT UP
yourusername oi francolapinto we found his weak spot
francolapinto lets get ready to terrorise him
yourusername bet
username48 if they need a third im always available
username49 i want to see mother and father but theyre more like mommy and daddy
username50 erm
username51 if my bf aint like this ion want him
alex_albon ill admit this is actually cute
yourusername thank you!!
francolapinto we're not cute we're hot
yourusername we're both tho
francolapinto true
alex_albon why'd you have to ruin such a beautiful and innocent moment
francolapinto life
yourusername WORDS 🗣️ 💯🙏❗
username52 legit can't decide who's better looking
username53 oh how i need this more than oxygen
maxverstappen1 franco doesn't how to play padel
yourusername he beat me
maxverstappen1 anyone can beat you
francolapinto don't bully her like that
maxverstappen1 or what
francolapinto brazil 2018 pt2
maxverstappen1 DONT YOU DARE
yourusername ok max thats it go stare lovingly at charles or idk
maxverstappen1 ???
francolapinto we all know max dont worry
maxverstappen1 ??????
username54 so um whens the wedding
username55 man i need me a francoyn relationship
username56 did they just confirm lestappen?!?!??!?!
username57 im sighing dreamily at these pictures
bizarrap ah so youre the girlfriend?
yourusername yes yes i am
bizarrap y'know i cheer for you and not franco because you get higher places
yourusername im flattered 😊
francolapinto this is a betrayal you should be cheering for ME only
username58 THE PICS.
username59 giggling blushing and kicking my feet
username60 when will y/n post more y/n sigh
francolapinto how are you so gorgeous
yourusername i should be asking YOU that
francolapinto mi vida you are the prettiest girl i have ever seen in my life and you call ME gorgeous?
yourusername fuck yes
francolapinto i love you
yourusername love you more
williamsracing
liked by francolapinto, yourusername, alex_albon and 1.3M others
williamsracing can you spot the odd one out? Tagged: francolapinto, yourusername
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username61 how to kms no borax no glue
username62 people DIED (i'm people)
username63 they haven't commented yet???
username64 ikk it's so weird
username65 they usually hop on after like 6 secs
username66 its not a want its a NEED
username67 MILF = man i love franco (and y/n)
username68 i just KNOW their kids will be BEAUTIFUL
username69 face card never declined
username70 and never will
redbullracing don't go stealing around our drivers
williamsracing im just the admin 😔
redbullracing me too 😔
username71 driverS????
redbullracing that was typo
username72 IS FRANCO GOING TO REDBULL??????
username73 redbull admin x williams admin
username74 the otp fr
username75 the lack of franco and y/n is concerning
username76 WHERE ARE THEYYYYYY
francolapinto add more photos of mi vida i want to see her beautiful face
yourusername i want to see YOUR beautiful race
francolapinto running
username77 there they are
maxverstappen1 admin why now i have to hear them make out for the next 3 hours
williamsracing sorry?
username78 3 HOURS???
username79 theyre more chaotic than we thought
username80 aww y/n looks so cute
yourusername shit where's franco i want to see his face
williamsracing we want to see YOUR face
yourusername oh...😊 admin you make me blush
francolapinto admin?
williamsracing im sorry pls dont kill me
francolapinto i wont just because you take photos of me for mi vida
williamsracing i love you y/n
yourusername love you too admin
yourusername and you too franco
francolapinto love you more mi vidaaa
francolapinto
liked by yourusername, alex_albon, bizarrap and 1.1M others
francolapinto to mi vida, the love of my life, happy anniversary to us and i love you forever Tagged: yourusername
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username81 deleting all my socials after this
username82 they are SOULMATES vro
username83 this screams 'forever and always'
username84 'mi vida' OKAY BRO BYE IM LEAVING THIS EARTH
username85 legit fairytale vibes
username86 imagine being this in love
bizarrap ¡enhorabuena a los dos! ¡que sean muchos más! (congratulations to you two! here's to many more!)
francolapinto gracias hermano, lo aprecio (thanks bro, i appreciate it)
yourusername gracias!! (thank you)
username87 the caption is from a song i refuse to belive franco wrote it
username88 i am JEALOUS, ENVIOUS, GREEN.
username89 poetry fr
username90 they ARE the main characters
username91 FRR like everyone else is just a side character
username92 alex play 'that should be me' by justin bieber
alex_albon congrats to you two! least favourite couple i know!
francolapinto thank you alex!
yourusername thank you!!!
alex_albon did you just ignore my statement
yourusername yes we chose to ignore it
username93 this is the kind of love ppl write books about
username94 STOP NOT THEM CONGRATULATING EACH OTHER ON THE RADIO IN THE LAST RACE
username95 if they break up then love isnt real
maxverstappen1 you two deserve it! take care of my little sister francito
yourusername MAX STOP
francolapinto will do
yourusername i love my life
francolapinto and i love you
username96 i just know they are each other's ride or dies
username97 where to buy a franco asking for a friend
username98 if i could id just take over one of their bodies to experience this love
username99 im waiting for the fics
username100 straight out of romeo and juliet
yourusername i love you so much, and ive did since forever. you are everything to me, i could never let you go. you deserve everything, mi amor
francolapinto youre my everything too, and im keeping you forever, no takebacks. if I deserve the everything, it’s only because you’re MY everything, mi vida. every star, every light, it all reminds me of you. te amo más de lo que las palabras pueden decir (I love you more than words can say)
yourusername STOP IM GOING TO CRY 🫶🥹 I LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH
francolapinto I LOVE YOU MORE THAN EVERYTHING MI VIDA
fin.
taglist . . . @barcapix ,, @f1lover55 ,, @ilovebarcaaa ,, @httpsdana ,, @paucubarsisimp ,, @justaf1girl ,, @awritingtree ,, @freyathehuntress ,, @chilling-seavey (lmk if you want to join the taglist!)
#alexavia writes 🍒#alexavia yaps 🍒#f1#formula 1#formula one#f1 x reader#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#x reader#franco colapinto#fc43#franco colapinto fic#smau#fic#fanfic#f1 smau#franco colapinto x reader#franco colapinto smau#f1 social media#f1 fanfic#racing driver#racing#f1 racing#franco colapinto x y/n#social media#social media fic#franco colapinto x you#driver!reader#rbr#oracle red bull racing
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stick season — OB38 (smau)
pairing: ollie bearman x leclerc!singer!reader
summary: ollie slowly falls for charles' younger sister
warnings: google translated french
a/n: i need to give ollie the biggest hug and put him in my pocket
masterlist !
⋆ ˚ ｡ ⋆ ୨୧ ˚
y/nleclerc just posted !
liked by charles_leclerc, olliebearman and 1,084 others
y/nleclerc my new cover of "all my love" by noah kahan is out now !! available on youtube and spotify :)🤍
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user1 been waiting for a noah cover FOREVER 🤩
user2 she is the moment !
user3 charles being supportive in the youtube comment section i need a minute 😖
carlossainz55 ❤️❤️❤️
user4 olivia song next plz!!!
charles_leclerc beautiful as always mon ours (my bear)
y/nleclerc learned from the best 😙
user5 charles calling her his bear cause theyre her fav animal I CANT DO THIS
user6 ollie being in the likes????
user7 pls they've been best friends for like ever calm down 😭😭
y/nleclerc just posted !
liked by olliebearman, scuderiafarrari and 1,409 others
y/nleclerc me and b-man went to the paddock this weekend ‼️‼️ charles_leclerc olliebearman
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user1 oh i know this trio caused some chaos
user2 more ferrari polaroid pics when?!
scuderiaferrari loved having you back y/n ❤️
y/nleclerc loved being back :)❤️
user3 the way she calls ollie bman 😭😭
olliebearman never call me b-man again
y/nleclerc no promises 🤗
user4 the trio i never knew i needed in the paddock
user5 i already KNOW y/n has the most silly charles pics
charles_leclerc don't think i didn't see you giggling when ollie was around y/n
y/nleclerc charles not on the main.....
user6 CHARLES EXPOSING Y/N PLSSS
twitter !
imessage !
olliebearman just posted !
liked by y/nleclerc, charles_leclerc and 123,167 others
olliebearman wonderful race in my hometown 🇬🇧 stoked to see how next week will go! y/nleclerc
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user1 she went to the race with him 🤭🤭
user2 OOOH OLIVER BEARMAN!!!!!!!!!
y/nleclerc my fav brit 🫶🏻
olliebearman 🫶🏻
user3 they're so 😖😖😖😖😖
user4 podium ollie lives in my head rent free
user5 the way they looked at each other before ollie got into the car :(((
charles_leclerc you would not believe how many texts i got when you got p2
y/nleclerc CHARLES.....
olliebearman how many were there
charles_leclerc 27 😬
user6 charles exposing y/n pt 2
olliebearman just posted !
liked by y/nleclerc, charles_leclerc and 159,302 others
olliebearman had to go to miss bear's first ever concert 🤍 y/nleclerc
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user1 he went to BOTH shows 😣
user2 definition of if he wanted to he would
user3 THE CAPTION?????????
user4 MISS. BEAR.
y/nleclerc ily 🥹🥹
olliebearman anything for my bear
user5 HIS BEAR??!?!!!!!?!?!??
user6 so is no one gonna point out the last slide...
user7 possible soft launch???????
charles_leclerc i guess i can share my bear
user8 😭😭😭
y/nleclerc just posted !
liked by olliebearman, bffusername and 3,960 others
y/nleclerc ❤️🩹🐻 olliebearman
comments limited to y/nleclerc's followers
olliebearman i love being your bear
y/nleclerc i love being yours
bffusername RUE?? WHEN WAS THIS????
y/nleclerc 😅😅😅
charles_leclerc no pda in the f1 paddock please
carlossainz55 but they're adorable 😊
y/nleclerc yeah charles we're adorable 🥺
charles_leclerc just posted !
liked by olliebearman, y/nleclerc and 422,510 others
charles_leclerc mon ours a trouvé la sienne ❤️ y/nleclerc olliebearman
translation my bear found hers
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user1 OH MY GOD????????
user2 the caption :(
olliebearman y/n's been crying over this for a good 5 minutes
charles_leclerc good cry?
olliebearman she keeps switching between french and english, so yes??
carlossainz55 the cutest paddock kids
user3 charles hard launching his sisters relationship is so funny to me
user4 f1 cameraman you know what to do...
y/nleclerc 🥹🥹🥹
user5 been a y/nollie shipper since day one 🤞
#shelbi writes#keerysfreckles#ollie bearman#ollie bearman x reader#ollie bearman x you#ollie bearman x y/n#ollie bearman smau#ollie bearman x female reader#ollie bearman x fem reader#ollie bearman x fem!reader#ollie bearman x female!reader#ollie bearman x leclerc reader#ollie bearman x leclerc!reader#f2#f2 fic#f2 fanfic#f2 smau#smau#f1#f1 smau#f1 fic#ollie bearman f2#ollie bearman f1#ollie bearman prema
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AVERAGE GIRL’S FANTASY | 001
pairing: woo do hwan x reader
warnings: suggestive, (woo do hwan is my husband back off guys)
info: woo do hwan’s first hollywood movie
fc: _jannnah on ig
yeobo: honey jagi: baby
a/n WHY DOES NO ONE WRITE FOR THIS FINE ASS MAN also excuse my google translated korean
moviesneverything
liked by woodohwan, theynln and 890,275 others Woo Do Hwan and YN LN said to act in their first movie together ‘Only If You Say Yes’. This movie is YN’s first movie in her acting career as she moves further from her modelling and singing career; while this is YN’s first movie ever; this is Woo Do Hwan’s debut in Hollywood. view comments
averageynlover hey so i’m actually gonna die! moviefiend INSANEST FACE CARDS EVER user98 bruh yn and woo do hwan in one movie was not on my 2025 bingo card blakelively cant wait to see yn in this! baesuzy my baby in her first movie ever sonyejin watching this the second it comes out kimhyeja 아름다운 영화 속 아름다운 배우들 (beautiful actors in a beautiful movie) aashikareddy THATS MY BEST FRIEND parkboyoung YAY IU so excited woodohwanmyman rhis is a crazy pairing
ynln
liked by woodohwan, tyla and 381,937 others day after filming 💐 view comments
ynismother rue… when was this 😀 baesuzy cutest girl ➥ ynln we need to meet up 😣 woodohwanismine uh why is my husband in the likes ➥ ynlover ew! ➥ user76 one that isnt your husband and two theyre in a movie together?? tyla prettiest ever ➥ ynln come over 😉 laufey missing our singing days ➥ ynln i did karaoke with you like last week???? ➥ laufey hes stealing you from me. beabodobee choosing to ignore the second picture ➥ ynln bea i think you might regret this… ➥ beabodobee what ➥ ynln he said hes never gonna give you his japchae ➥ beabodobee NO ANYTHING BUT THE JAPCHAE parkboyoung come to koreaaaaa ➥ ynln booking tickets rn seoinguk this is crazy ➥ ynln i will beat you up.
seoinguk added to his private story !
woodohwan
liked by ynln, songjoongki and 294,826 others filming 🎥 view comments
woodohwanfangirl NOOOOOOOOOO user98 bruh yns stronger than me ➥ user43 no fr i do not think i could survive leesangyi second picture is wild kimsaeron bro bring her over ➥ woodohwan ok ok kimmeonseok tell unni to bring me her cookies 🙏 ➥ woodohwan no ❤️ ynfan i love how the entire comment section is about his girlfriend not him ➥ woodohwan fiancé * ➥ ynfan what 😀 ynln cuties liked by creator
onlyifyousayyesofficial
liked by ynln, woodohwan and 837,493 others first month of filming completed ✅ view comments
ynln i had so much fun filming this with do hwan ➥ woodohwan me too 🫶🏻 averageynlover wait theyre so cute together user73 theyre either in love or really good at acting ynanddohwan parents 😻 woodohwanismine bro they should’ve got another actress ynismother BRO IF THEY GET TOGETHER user83 get together !! ynsno1 “my parents” i yell as they drag me to the mental asylum
“yeobo” i hear from the other side of the apartment. walking towards the sound, i smile when i see do hwan, in the kitchen cooking; i hug him from behind, my cheek rests against the planes of his back.
“hey” i mumble my voice jumbled, “what are you making?”.
he turns around in my arms and rests his arms around my waist. picking me up effortlessly, he places me on the kitchen counter, a safe distance from the stove.
“you’re favourite; jajangmyeon” he whispers leaning closer into me.
“really?” my eyes light up, but my excitement is cut off by a gasp.
do hwan pulls me into him and my legs instinctively wrap around his waist. “but i need a kiss for it…” he starts “or maybe a few”.
i laugh as his hands run over my thighs which are barely covered by his white shirt.
“you can have as many as you want; as long as i get my jajangmyeon”
do hwan laughs and kisses me softly, my hands trail up from his chest and wrap around his neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss.
even though i was sitting on the countertop, do hwan still could easily look above me; to make it easier for him i tilt my head back and grab him closer, deepening the kiss.
ynln
liked by tyla, baesuzy and 947,381 others #neededthat #gotthat view comments
beabodobee yn this is crazy seoinguk is she aware this isn’t her private ynlover THE PR TEAM IS SCARED OF HER averageynlover pls rhis is so real of her ➥ user78 no cos if i had a man i would be posting him like this too ➥ ynismother but whos the guy? tyla this is so unhinged i love it laufey ur so dead 😆 clairo crazy yn part ? leeyoomi YOU GOT A CAT ➥ ynln he got it for our anniversary present 🤭 kimminseok i did not need to see these kimsaeron im so much better than him baesuzy leave him ❤️ ➥ ynln but he got me chul-chul jennie debrief call?? ➥ ynln yes please 🙏 lalisa does this mean we’re getting another album?? ➥ ynln even i don’t know man
onlyifyousayyesofficial
liked by ynln, woodohwan and 982,471 others catch you at the red carpet comments are limited
ynln
liked by wodohwan, onlyifyousayyesofficial and 982,374 others i had the best time filming this movie and i hope you guys enjoy it just as much as i enjoyed making this. view comments
seoinguk i guess it’s not terrible for your first movie ➥ ynln jump parkboyoung PLEASE WE HAVE TO ACT TOGETHER ➥ ynln YESS baesuzy can’t wait to see u at the carpet averageynlover her dress is so beautiful ➥ user78 it was vera wang soooo leeyoomi please you’re so beautiful ➥ ynln says you omg kimminseok ok i guess the movie wasn’t that bad ➥ ynln LMAO THX MIN SEOKIE kimsaeron carried the movie fr laufey does this mean we can hang out more now… ➥ ynln maybeeee tyla prettiest girl ever ➥ ynln ILYSM TY-TY woodohwan you’re a great actor i really hope we work in more projects in the future ➥ ynln yes! i would love to ➥ user21 his fiancé is stronger than me cos i wouldnt deal with this personally
“do hwan did you see this comment?” i point to the comments saying that do hwan’s fiancé wouldn’t be comfortable with being friends with me, laughing.
he laughs and joins in with me “at least they know i’m engaged, they still think you only have a boyfriend,”
“are you jealous, baby?” i say grinning.
“of course not jagi, they might not know it but i know that i’m the only person who you look good under.” do hwan’s voice turns somehow deeper.
i lay a soft kiss on his cheek and giggle at his pout. “yeobo, that was not a kiss,” he complains and pulls me into a deeper embrace and connects our lips.
moviesneverything
liked by baesuzy, leeyoomi and 1,749,035 others YN LN and Woo Do Hwan on the red carpet premiere of ‘Only If You Say Yes’ view comments
user76 if i was his fiancé i’d be crying ➥ ynfan no cos no one in this world compares to yn ynandwoodohwan you cannot tell me theres nothing going on between them ➥ user78 his poor wife user12 woo do hwan tho 😻 ➥ loverofyn he looks scrumptious ynlover i breathe the same air as the yn ln ➥ user65 have to remind myself every second baesuzy this movie deserves every award ever parkboyoung yn is so talented tyla i need to watch this again moviecritic01 i’ve never seen a couple with this much dynamic energy moviecritic02 yn ln is one of the most talented actors of this generation
ynln
liked by woodohwan, parkboyoung and 842,639 others saranghae wangjanim view comments
ynlover WAIT THIS IS SO CUTE parkboyoung ok this is sweet laufey bro is not consistent with her korean ➥ ynln shut yo beabodobee ok productive queen user96 WHY IS THIS FACELESS MAN SO FINE
comments are limited
“baby we’ve been soft launching for two years, dont you think we should tell the world?” i say while i was lying on top of do hwan.
“do you really want to do that, yeobo? i dont want to force you” do hwan says rubbing his hand against my back.
“i want the world to know who my fiancé is,” i say grinning.
woodohwan
liked by ynln, seoinguk and 1,583,492 others happy two years, jagiya saranghae gongjunim view comments
ynismother huh 😀 user96 haha very funny 😆 ➥ user96 where’s the camera user86 so i need a moment ynln i love you baby ➥ woodohwan i love you way more jagiya euphoriafan they really said “you thought bitch” ynismine THIS ENTIRE TIME WE WERE SAD FOR HIS FIANCÉ COS HE WAS FLIRTING WITH YN ➥ ynln im very sorry 😞 🙏 parkboyoung FINALLY tyla been waiting for this seoinguk so when’s the wedding kimsaeron YES laufey does this mean i can hang out with her more ➥ woodohwan no beabodobee if i approve can i have japchae ➥ woodohwan if you leave us alone.
my head raises from do hwan’s chest “i love you so much” i say planting a kiss on his lips.
do hwan grabs my waist and twists us so he’s on top of me, his grip on my hips tightens as my legs wrap around his torso. i moan into the kiss, my arms running down his chest.
“i love you more, im so lucky” he whispers.
“i’m the lucky one; you’re every average girl’s fantasy.”
a/n im just a girl 🎀 anyway rhis is extra long because i felt bad abt going mia for like forever and lemme know if i should stick to doing only smau or smau and writing both ILY GUYSSS
#lateatnewyork#woo do hwan#do hwan#kim gun woo#hae jo#woo dohwan#mr plankton#lee yoo mi#korean drama#tyla#imagine#kpop smau#fem reader#social media au#smau#enhypen smau#nct smau#jjk smau#pjo smau#woo do hwan smau#bloodhounds#strong woman do bong soon#when the phone rings#wi ha joon#wong ha joon#squid game#squid game smau#squid game imagine#squid game x reader
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A warning for trauma survivors looking for online support
You may have come across the acronym "RAMCOA", which stands for "ritual abuse, mind control, and organized abuse."
If you search the Internet for RAMCOA, you might come across a result like this:
If you click the link, you'll be taken to a site that briefly describes what RAMCOA supposedly is, with content like:
MC - Mind Control. A shortened form of TBMC, standing for Torture Based Mind Control. MC is also known as programming, where victims are repeatedly tortured starting at a very young age to intentionally cause a system of dissociated parts that function perfectly to suit the abusers' needs.
alpha : a base program, one of the very first implemented. it trains the victim's mind to accept every order given by handlers willingly. parts with alpha programming will often have no will of their own, and very little personality outside of following orders.
aiw : alice in wonderland. typically split into 3 different sections : black alice, white alice, and crazy alice. ideally, a system scripted with aiw would have all three. white alice makes sure the system forgets the trauma, black alice makes the system feel like theyll be a danger to others if they remember the trauma, and crazy alice makes the system think theyre making it up or going insane if they ever remember it.
Literally all of this comes from a conspiracy theory - specifically, the Project Monarch alter programming conspiracy. It was developed and pushed by far right conspiracy theorists. Most of what people run into specifically traces back to Fritz Springmeier, a man who claimed in the 90's that the fight for gay rights was part of a plot to enthrone the antichrist in the year 2000. The Project Monarch conspiracy theory was always adjacent to the Satanic Panic, if not a somewhat niche part of it. If you start checking citations, you will find many of these people citing Svali, a conspiracy theorist who gets a lot of her material from Springmeier. (Example 1, example 2.)
This is no accident. The term RAMCOA was created by the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation (ISSTD), which was created by and for psychologists who believed in the myths promoted during the Satanic Panic.
The RA part comes from "satanic ritual abuse," which was coined by Dr. Lawrence Pazder of Michelle Remembers (cw for descriptions of horrible abuses) fame. Lawrence Pazder is the man who effectively started the Satanic Panic. It cannot be overstated that Pazder, now a known malpractitioner, was considered the expert on ritual abuse during this time.
The MC part comes from "trauma-based mind control," which was coined to refer to the alleged abuses inflicted in Project Monarch. Parts of this conspiracy theory that can't be traced back to Fritz Springmeier can usually be traced back to Cathy O'Brien and Mark Phillips, two other (really racist) conspiracy theorists.
Ultimately, the entire conspiracy theory is constructed from tropes that go back to The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion (a known antisemitic hoax), blood libel, and early modern witch panic.
Searching the Internet for RAMCOA resources, ritual abuse, or trauma-based mind control will always bring you to conspiracy theorists.
(Also, the term OEA, which stands for "organized extreme abuse," will lead you to conspiracy theorists as well.)
So yeah, if you're looking for support, be very wary of this stuff. It will absolutely not help you heal; just the opposite.
#trauma recovery#abuse recovery#ramcoa#isstd#oea#tbmc#trauma based mind control#alter programming#project monarch#conspiracy theory#conspiracy theories#conspiracism#conspiracy theorists#conspiracy theorist#satanic ritual abuse#ritual abuse#cult survivor
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List of Canonically Trans/gnc Characters
My own list in this post is anime, manga, games mostly but in the spreadsheet you can add anything.
Following my tierlist of them, I realized I should make a public list so theyre not just kept in my head, since I spent quite a while finding these characters. If you want to watch/play anything with trans or gnc characters, you can use this list.
They range from good rep to bad, characters viewed as "traps" or not taken seriously to ones that the whole fandom understands is trans. I've added trigger warnings to the characters and fandoms I know can be triggering. I've also put certain names in bold to show that they're a main character, but i've only watched a few on this list so some are missing.
I would add trigger warnings for "bury your gays" and similar tropes, but I want to avoid spoilers. Maybe you can look it up first if you're worried. I've tried to exclude characters that are referred to as hermaphrodites.
The "crossdressers" section obviously includes some spoilers.
Enjoy :D
Transfem
Alice Arisuin from Chivalry of a Failed Knight (Prefers feminine name and terms but doesn't care too much).
Arachne from Angel Sanctuary
Arashi Narukami from Ensemble Stars
Astolfo from the Fate/Grand series
Leonardo Da Vinci from the Fate/Grand series (unsure)
Cassandra Igarashi from The Wicked + The Divine
Dahlia Carpenter from Carole & Tuesday
Victoria October from Batman
Elendira the Crimsonnail from Trigun Stampede
Giselle Gewelle from Bleach (The fandom is very transphobic)
Grell from Black Butler (Unnecessarily debated)
Hana from Tokyo Godfathers
Okasan from Tokyo Godfathers (Could be a drag queen)
Hibari Oozora from Stop!! Hibari-kun!
Isabella Yamamoto from Paradise Kiss
Kanamori from Heaven's Design Team
Kano Ienaga from Golden Kamuy
Kaoru Anesagi from IDOLiSH7
Kaoru Hanase from Tamako Market (Speculated to be a trans woman)
Kenji Hikiishi from My Hero Academia
Kikinojo from One Piece
Mariandale/Marian from Ixion Saga DT
Mizuki Akiyama from Project Sekai (Heavily implied)
Momoko from Shangri-La
Kikyou Motoki from Itazura Na Kiss
Nao from Skip and Loafer
Nathan Seymour from Tiger & Bunny
Perfuma from She-Ra and the Princesses of power
Petrichor from Saga
Ruka Urushibara from Steins;Gate (Transphobic fandom)
Saber from the Fate/Grand series
Stephanie from Majutsushi Orphen
Ushiyama from All Worlds Alliance
Hiroyuki Yoshida from Wandering Son
Shuuichi Nitori from Wandering Son
Yuujirou Shiratori from The Highschool Life of a Fudanshi
Transmasc
Hachiro from Gintama
Kite from Japan Sinks: 2020
Kusuo Saiki from The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. (Turned himself into a boy when he was in the womb, otherwise never mentioned)
Ryo Watari from Boys Run the Riot
Shou Fujita from Stars Align (Very minor character)
Tooru Mutsuki from Tokyo Ghoul:re
Yamato from One Piece
Yawara Chatora from My Hero Academia
Yoshino Takatsuki from Wandering Son
Nonbinary
Anne Faulkner from Paradox Live
Asra from The Arcana
Alucard from Hellsing Ultimate (genderfluid)
Chaos from Hades
Berg Katze from Gatchaman Crowds (androgynous)
O. D. from Gatchaman Crowds
Daishikyou from Gintama
Chevalier D'Eon from Fate/Grand series
Enkidu/Lancer from Fate/Grand series (Inherently no gender/sex)
Double Trouble from She-Ra and the Princesses of power
Envy from Fullmetal Alchemist (can transform into any gender)
Francois from Dr. Stone
Halara Nightmare from Master Detective Archives: Rain Code
Hange from Attack on titan (Fandom mostly refers to them as female)
Ivankov Emporio from One Piece (i'm not sure what they identify as)
Juniper from Xenoblade Chronicles
Kaoruko Someya from Okane ga Nai (Okama)
Kimera from Kimera (nb or transfem)
Kyuubei Yagyuu (Born female, raised male so has an unconventional relationship with gender)
Vanitas of the Blue Moon from The Case Study of Vanitas
Milo Belladonna from Monster Prom
Mogumo from Love Me For Who I Am
Najimi Osana from Komi can't communicate (Unknown gender)
Nakuru Akizuki from Cardcaptor Sakura (Sexless, identifies as female)
Nico from Tokyo Ghoul (Okama)
Opera from Marimashita! Iruma-kun
Orochimaru from Naruto
Ryuuji Ayukawa from Blue Period (Unsure, can be gnc/transfem/nonbinary)
Satan from Devilman
Shion Zaiden from RWBY
Someone (yes thats their name) from Shimanami Tasogare
Xanthe Zhou from Prime Earth
Yuuta Asuka from Stars Align
Intersex
Asuka Ran from Devilman Lady
Luca Esposito from Asra Lost in Space (identifies as male)
Desmond from Carole & Tuesday (Became intersex due to universe stuff but is at peace with this)
Megumi Yoshikawa from Princess Princess (Raised male before she found out she was genetically female, decides to live as a girl)
Richard III from Requiem of the Rose King (Struggles with his intersexuality, feels his body and him are unloveable)
Yoite from Nabari no Ou (Lives as male but they're unsure of their gender)
Crossdressers
Aki from Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi
Azumi Agonoske from Gintama
Buzam A. Calessa from Vandread
Ferris from Re:Zero (I've heard that the novel version is transfem)
Haruhi Fujioka from Ouran high school host club (Nonbinary coded)
Ranka/Ryouji Fujioka from Ouran high school host club (Drag queen)
Hatsuka Suzushiro from Call of the Night
Hazumu Osaragi from Kashimashi: Girl Meets Girl
Kurako from Kuragehime
Naoto Shirogane from Persona 4 (The reveal can be triggering)
Chihiro Fujisaki from Danganronpa (The reveal can be very triggering - I recommend looking it up first if you're worried.)
Nuriko from Fushigi Yuugi (Unsure)
Rui Ninomiya from Gatchaman (May be transfem)
Cis characters that are gnc
Haruka Tenou from Sailor Moon
Kaoru Orihara from Oniisama e... (not sure what gender)
Kashima Yuu from Monthly Girl's Nozaki-kun
Complicated
Angela from Black Butler (Changes form)
Berg Katse from Gatchaman (Changes form)
Fushi from To Your Eternity (Can change into female but presents masc)
Ginshu from Amatsuki (Raised male, turned genderless, dressed feminine. Idk their gender identity)
Inazuma from One Piece (Can present as both male and female, okama)
Izana Shinatose from Knights of Sidonia (Genderless to female due to universe rules)
Kou Seiya from Sailor Moon: Sailor Stars (Has a male and female form, I think)
Mahiro Oyama from Onimai: I'm Now Your Sister! (Was turned into a girl against his will)
Mermaid Sisters from Carole & Tuesday (I don't know, man...)
Natsuru Senou from K��mpfer (Transformed into a woman)
Shi Qingxuan from Heaven Officials Blessing (Can transform)
Ranma Saotome from Ranma (Changes between them)
Hinata Tachibana from Life with an Ordinary Guy who Reincarnated into a Total Fantasy Knockout (Gets transformed into a girl, goes on a quest to get their original body back)
--------
If you see anyone missing, feel free to let me know if I should add them. Input on who is a main character, triggering themes and offensive characters can be commented or sent to me.
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more userboxes.. now theyre for mouthwashing !!! no credit required in any way, just appreciated :3c
edit : sorry for the fucked up format that happened for a sec ?? tumblr is a bitch on mobile :(
feel free to ask for edits/adjustments!! things like the font used, left box icon, background, the words used, etc..
names in order of appearance : jimmy , swansea , daisuke , curly , anya .
image ids under the read more! warning : i didnt describe everyones appearance, i only stated their names.
image id: the left section of the userbox has a screenshot of jimmy from the game mouthwashing. the right, larger section of the userbox has the words "this user is jimmy" in a bubbly font. the background image is of a yellow and pale brown field of grass with a walking trail through it. there are small, light blue flowers close to the camera. end id.
image id: the format of this userbox is the same as the others. there is a picture of swansea to the left and the words "this user is swansea" to the right. the background image is a cluster of primarily yellow roses with the outermost petals of the flowers tinted red. end id.
image id: the format of this userbox is the same as the others. there is a picture of daisuke to the left and the words "this user is daisuke" to the right. the background image is a photograph of pale pink roses, with dull brown stems holding them. end id.
image id: the format of this userbox is the same as the others. there is a picture of curly to the left and the words "this user is curly" to the right. the background image is a bright blue marble texture, with glittery gold highlights separating the different sections of blue. end id.
image id: the format of this userbox is the same as the others. there is a picture of anya to the left and the words "this user is anya" to the right. the background image is an overhead view of an ocean's jetty. the pale blue water takes up most of the image, though there are some brown rocks that make up the jetty across the right side. end id.
#fictive#fictionkin#fictionfolk#mouthwashing kin#mouthwashing fictive#i am NOT putting this in the fandom tags ...#spyte posts#artsy n crafts#userboxes
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-> CHAPTER ONE | CHAPTER TWO
•| was it truly worth taking his word for it? how does one even enter hell, or was this all some strange cosplayer’s roleplay you happened to get roped in?
•| taglist :: @z4rph1m ,, @theultimatewaffle
"fine!" as crazy as the whole situation was, you accepted his invitation. how else do you tell the supposed king of wrath no? not to mention the guys name is satan. honestly, if youre lucky these guys might be cosplayers. but the whole situation seemed surreal, the angel seemed too real.
"follow me," he smiled and grabbed your hand before leading you away. "where are we going?" you questioned. he led you off the mainroad and into a forest, soon getting lost and turned around with the repeated trees. going into a forest you dont know or aren't acquainted with feels like youre in there for eternity. "the first gate of hell is where we're going." he stated.
gate? what did he by the first gate? how many are there? "what do you mean?" you asked him, not caring that he still gripped your hand in his. his red eyes looked back at you before looking ahead of him again. "hell is gated off into different sections. there are nine gates in total; three of stone, three of brass, then three of iron." he explained.
"it's to ensure utmost secrecy and security between the worlds. heaven has nine gates as well. though if you were to gaze upon them there would be nothing. its impossible for a human to see the gates unless theyre an angel. its what makes heaven quite hard to find."
the deeper in he led you, the darker and colder the forest became. your hands went to your forearms and rubbed against them, your body hunching over to try and maintain as much body heat as you could. it almost felt like it was winter despite it being spring.
ahead a dark cavern appeared into the side of a mountainside. you didnt even know there were mountains in the area. "who's that?" you pointed to a figure waiting around the cavern.
"chaos. they usually guard outside of the gates. its to ensure any soul taken to hell doesn't attempt to escape." satan explained, saying a brief hello to chaos before entering the cave. "it does get dark and wet fast, so watch out where you step. ill lead the way though so stay close behind me."
you nodded and glanced at chaos. they were a creature of unknown nature, they werent humanoid in any way yet didnt look like an animal. it was as though they were a clumb of skin, a few eyes sticking out and having a singular hand at the top. bones and blood stuck out from it. its hard to describe a being that made you feel like puking your insides out upon first glance. you turned your head away from chaos quite fast. you didnt want to look at them if you didnt have to.
"can you tell me more about hell?" you asked and followed after satan, noting how dark it got. your hands stuck out in front of you, catious with your steps in case you run into a wall.
"what do you want to know?" he asked, walking swiftly down the tunnel.
"like, about the inside. where in hell are you taking me? is there cities? or is it like how biblical books say it is, a rampant city filled with torture and death?" you asked, curious as to what you would see. its not every day you take a trip to hell after all.
"well, we're going to gehenna. thats where i rule in hell. there are seven different nations, and to get to them you have to go through the gates. gehenna is protected by the first stone gate." he said before stopping in his tracks. "the further down you go, the colder it becomes. the more of a wasteland hell is until you reach abbadon at the bottom. abbadon is hotter than anywhere in hell, its the core of it. under abbadon? im not sure what lies there." he said.
"now, we wont be able to continue walking through. you'll have to crawl. its wet though, so be careful." he warned before taking off his jacket and holding it out to you. you raised an eyebrow at him before taking it and putting it on. "is there water?" you asked. he simply nodded before dropping to his knees and hands, crawling into a small hole. it was hard to see anything but the area itself closed off abruptly into a small crawl space.
who knew hell would be tricky to get to? you soon got on your knees and hands, the stone beneath you slick and cold. maybe you shouldve asked if he had gloves. feeling around for the hole, you had a small idea of how big it was, which wasnt that big at all. you had to keep your head down so you wouldnt hit it on the top of the crawl space.
crawling through felt weird, at random points it felt warm, then cold again. it was a repeated process, and sometimes it felt like something was touching you at certain parts. hopefully it was just the rock and nothing else.
"be careful up here, it gets smaller. you'll have to crawl on your stomach here." satan warned from ahead of you. it was like how people described entering hell to be. being forced to crawl on their stomachs, wriggling like serpents to trespass into hell.
it was hard to move through. your breathing quickening as you wriggled around in the tunnel. just how long was this going to take? how far down is hell? were you even going down, or was it straight? how was minhyeok? it had to of been morning by now, and he would be worried. maybe you shouldn't have came along, maybe you shouldve gone back to minhyeok?
it was too late to turn around now, incapable of moving backwards without knowing where you were going exactly. there had been a few turns through the tunnel. and you couldnt turn your body around, it was too cramped to do so.
"stop...." what was that? you couldnt see where the voice came from, but it sounded right on top of you. "hello?" you called out.
"stop....moving." it almost sounded as though it was struggling to talk, like their words were forced between harsh breaths. you squinted your eyes and looked around as best as you could, desperate to find where it came from.
"ignore it." satan called from ahead of you. why? what was it? some sort of mythical creature meant to drag you to temptation? you didnt want to find out, truthfully.
the tunnel beneath you got slimier, sticking to your hand the further you crawled in. it felt like the stone turned to mush, almost equivalent to fat in a way. you heard a pained groan that didnt come from you or satan. your head tried to look around you, but the tunnel was too narrow. why did the ground beneath you feel oddly like skin?
_______________________________
birds chirped and flew across the sky, city almost a direct copy to any on earth. tall buildings and shops spread around, citizens walking about with their days. the only difference is that they were devils, horns big and visible as satan's. though some had little horns, so little you'd have to squint your eyes to see.
"welcome to gehenna." satan smiled at your expression of awe and wonder. "and welcome to hell." he grabbed your hand again and took you through the streets. it was almost like walking on the red carpet with a celebrity; citizens immediately noticed their king and you beside him. their faces held curiosity yet no ill intent.
he led you towards the largest building in the center of the city. it looked almost similar to a cathedral; stained glass windows covered the outside. it was larger than any you'd seen too. "my nobels and i live here." he explained as though he could read your mind.
"what are they like?" you asked, a little nervous. you were still wary of the whole 'devil' thing, especially seeing as this seemed as legitimate as it could get. what weirdo shows up randomly to just lead you through a gross and disgusting tunnel into another city? how could a random crackhead explain what chaos was, or the things you saw? not to mention all the devils around you, eyes piercing into the back of your skull. was this just a surreal lucid dream? you didnt even know you could lucid dream.
_______________________________
loud yells came from inside the room, the sound of complaints and cursing clear as day. satan grinned, waiting a moment before leaning his head against the door. "it seems theyre in an argument," his eyes widened and lit up. he waited another moment before busting the door open, any and all conversation taking place before was stopped.
"your majesty satan!" a blue haired devil announced. he had one horn on the side of his head and eyes similar to satan's, yet his were pink with blue saint peter's crosses. these devils sure like that cross, despite it not being demonic in any way.
there were six devils in the room altogether, not including satan. one red one, small and squishy with small horns and wings. they had a dopey look on their face. another stood next to the blue haired one, long bangs covered their eyes. their horns were smaller than the others, yet a small red creature sat upon them.
then a tanned devil with white horns curled over their head, with long white hair and blue eyes. two devils stood the farthest away; one with short hair and a long singular horn. next to him was a devil with three horns, all different colors, long, blonde hair and decked out with the color pink.
all the devils in the room stood up from their chairs and kneeled before their king. "sitri," satan said to the blue haired devil. he looked up at him, eyes only focused on him. none of the devils bothered to look at you, eyes closed and heads pointed towards to floor.
"ive found solomon's descendant."
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Hey I just found you recently and I fell in love with way you write!! I wanted ask for something with Sebastian. Him asking the reader to the Yule ball, then going to the Yule ball together, maybe theyre friends with some secret pining in the picture too. Idk know, maybe him confessing. I just want romantic idiots in love kind of stuff. Thank you!!
The Northcott System
{Sebastian Sallow x GN!Reader}
Introduction: Garreth Weasley has asked the infamous Eric Northcott for dating advice. In order to seem more desirable to you, he needs to play mind games. So instead of asking you to the ball, he asks Nellie Oggspire. This is where he pulls in Sebastian Sallow for help with his plan. Garreth knows he doesn’t have feelings for you, so it would be harmless for him to take you to the ball, right? Unfortunately, shoving you and Sebastian together in this way backfires. And Sebastian becomes just as head over heels for you as Garreth is.
Word Count: ~ 5,700 words
Warnings: Kissing, Some Underage Drinking
Author’s Note: Man... I am ALL FOR YULE BALL ONESHOTS! Lol ramielll, I can’t thank you enough for the request.❤ Romantic high school idiots in love kind of stuff is my shit! I think it's so much fun to write. It’s so awkward and lovey dovey, I adore it. I feel so bad making Garreth the sucker in these Sebastian stories but he fits too well 😭 I need to make more Garreth stories to make up for it, he doesn’t deserve this. Fun fact, Eric Northcott’s advice in this came from my father-in-law. My husband is very lucky he didn’t pull that shit or I would have been long gone lmfaooo (The title is in reference to Sunny in Philadelphia’s D.E.N.N.I.S. System, you’re a real one if you caught it 😉.)
Songs (if interested):
Evergreen - Richy Mitch & The Coal Miners
drift/(:( - Alek Olsen
Butterflies (feat. AURORA) - Tom Odell
The Kiss - Trevor Jones
The Reason - Hoobastank
“Eric Northcott says the best way to get someone obsessed with you is to treat them like royalty, then ignore them for a few weeks.” Garreth Weasley told his group of friends in the hall.
“You took dating advice from Eric Northcott?” Ominis asked in disbelief.
“Of course I did.” Garreth responded proudly, as if he were the smartest person in the world to have done so.
“Why on earth would you do that?”
“Don’t even pretend you haven’t heard about all the dates he’s pulled, Ominis.”
“Oh I’ve heard. Doesn’t sound like he’s been able to keep any of them though.”
“He’s a free man, Ominis. He just doesn’t want to be held down.”
Sebastian was half paying attention to the conversation around him. He knew it was related to the upcoming ball, but that’s all. He was looking over his notes on the recent restricted section find of his. It was too big and bulky of a book to carry around everywhere he went, so he had jotted down all he could to read over throughout the day.
“But this is why I need you, Sebastian.”
“Hmm?” Sebastian glanced up at Garreth.
“I know you haven’t spoken much, maybe not even at all for all I know. But I need you to take the new fifth year to the ball.”
Sebastian raised a questioning brow at him. “Why?”
It took way too much effort for Sebastian to try and follow Garreth’s plan. Garreth was going to take Nellie Oggspire to the ball, so he wanted Sebastian to take you to ensure no one with ulterior motives did. According to dating expert, Eric Northcott, you would be riddled with jealousy seeing Garreth with someone else. Then the day after the ball, he’d go up to you and confess his feelings. After seeing how he had other options, he’d be all the more desirable and you’d be over the moon to be chosen by him.
Sebastian felt like the plan was missing a few steps, or maybe had too many wrong ones to begin with. “Wouldn’t it make more sense to - oh, I don’t know - just go with the person you like to begin with?” He tried not to sound smart, but of course he sounded smart.
“It’s genius, Sebastian. You just don’t get it.”
“Evidently not.” He exhaled, looking back to his notes. But, now that he thought about it, he did need a date. He’d had tunnel vision on research for Anne’s curse, the ball had snuck up on him. There wasn’t anyone else who had popped up in his head to ask either. He had been a bit too preoccupied for anyone to catch his eye in that way.
He thought back to every interaction he’d had with you, which wasn’t many. You had held your own against him well enough while dueling in Defense Against the Dark Arts class, but he couldn’t know for sure how good you were. He had held back greatly considering you had just learned levioso and you were using a second hand wand. The only other time he could remember was when you two were partnered in potions class. There wasn’t a whole lot of getting to know each other then either. Still being so new to the magic world, you asked him endless questions about that day’s brew. He thought it a fine quality for someone to have, eager to learn rather than quick to dismiss what you didn’t understand. You were pretty easy on the eyes too.
Sebastian rubbed at his brows with his thumb and forefinger. “Alright, Weasley. I don’t get this plan but I’ll do it. Now if you’ll excuse me,” Sebastian closed up his notes. “I’m off to get a date to the ball apparently.”
-
How could I be so stupid to think Garreth liked me in that way? You inwardly chided yourself. The sting of finding out he had asked Nellie Oggspire to the ball still hadn’t dissipated. The way he had treated you so kindly lately had you certain he was going to ask you to the ball. But not only did he ask someone else, he had noticeably distanced himself from you out of nowhere. You weren’t sure what you did that seemed to upset him, but you didn’t have the time to chase after him and find out. You were already behind enough as it was, maybe the space between you two would help you catch up and get focused.
You hummed a song as you tended to the carnivorous plants in the greenhouse. You usually would have the energy to at least lightly sing some of the words for them, knowing they enjoyed music. But today, you didn’t have the gusto.
The greenhouse door opening and shutting pulled your attention and your humming ceased. You peeked over your shoulder. “Hello, Sebastian. How are you?”
“I’m well, thank you.” He answered as he made his way over, becoming suddenly nervous. He realized he didn’t have a plan on what to say as soon as he was alone with you.
Just as you were about to bring your focus back to the plants, you remembered you had wanted to speak with him. “Oh! I’m glad you’re here, I've been thinking about you recently.”
He stopped in his tracks and a blush crept up his neck. You’ve been thinking of me? “Oh?” Was all he could get himself to say.
“Yes.” You nodded enthusiastically, setting down your gardening tools and walking up to him. You brought yourself close and it put him on edge a bit. Keeping your voice low, you asked, “Do you think you could help me get into the uh -” You glanced at the door making sure it was closed all the way, “restricted section sometime soon?”
“Huh.” He didn’t know what he expected you to say to him, but it certainly wasn’t that. He was taken aback by your request, but, even more so, he was intrigued. A smirk tugged at his lips. “Seems I’ve got a reputation if even you’ve heard about my excursions. Whatever for, may I ask?”
“A book on ancient magic, that’s all I know unfortunately. Have you come across any such thing? Do you know where it would be down there?”
Now you had really piqued his interest. He had been trying to look into ancient magic himself lately for Anne. “Hmm. I’ve come across some passages here and there. But I don’t recall seeing any books solely on ancient magic.”
“Ah.” You said, disappointed.
“But another trip to look wouldn’t hurt.” He said quickly. “No matter how much Madam Scribner disagrees. I can get you down there this weekend.”
Your eyes lit up. “Will you? Oh thank you, Sebastian. You have no idea how much you’d be helping me out, you’d be my hero for this.”
He rubbed at the back of his neck, getting a little bashful at the thought of being ‘your hero’, even just a small one that helped you find a book. “Don’t mention it.”
“No seriously, thank you. I’m sorry I have to drag you into helping me at all.” You exhaled, frustrated. “I mean what even is the point of a restricted section? You’d think a proper magical education would include all magic, none of this some are fine, some are off limits nonsense.”
His eyes widened a bit, words seeming to evade him. Seems a kindred spirit may have been closer than he realized.
“Look at me rambling on, now I’m just venting.” You shook your head. “I distracted you from what you needed to do in here, I apologize. I’ll let you get to it.” You went to return to the plants but Sebastian grabbed at your wrist to stop you.
“I came here to find you actually.” You faced him again and he cleared his throat, releasing you. “Garreth told me you’d be in here.”
You tried not to look bitter at the mention of Garreth. “What can I do for you?”
How does one go about asking another to a ball? Especially when it wasn’t his idea. He at least knew it wouldn't be very endearing to mention that part. Maybe he didn’t need to overcomplicate it. Just get the basic idea out, then embellish if asked anything further. “The upcoming ball. Would you like to go with me?”
The surprise was clear as day on your face, but it was a pleasant surprise, Sebastian was relieved to note. Was he holding his breath?
Sebastian Sallow was asking you to the ball? You weren’t against the idea, not at all. Sebastian Sallow of all people, who would have thought? The two of you had never really spoken, to be honest you didn’t think he knew your name.
“Y - Yes, I would actually.” You smiled at him, looking genuinely glad he asked you.
He huffed out a breathy laugh and began to feel giddy. Calm down, Sallow. It’s not like this is someone you’ve been pining for. He tried to inwardly deflate himself. This was the first real conversation he’d had with you, how could he possibly feel so elated to you saying ‘yes’ to him? Just happy to have a date to the ball, that must be it.
“That’s -” He cleared his throat, regaining his composure. “That’s all I needed, I suppose. So, I’ll be off.” He said, staying in place and shifting on his feet. He didn’t want to leave the greenhouse, he realized. “See you this weekend?”
You nodded your head, a smile still gracing your lips. “You will.”
Sebastian returned your smile, then went to leave. When he opened the door, he took one last glance at you before he stepped out. His stomach jumped seeing you still looking at him, a little thrilled you were staring after him. He wanted to say something more, but couldn’t think of anything quick enough. He gave a small bow of his head in goodbye, then left the greenhouse.
Was it supposed to be this thrilling when a boy you barely spoke to asked you to a ball?
-
Sebastian rubbed at his jaw as he made his way out of the herbology wing, his face was starting to hurt from grinning so hard. He was thinking he should write down a list of all the books he’d come across that mentioned ancient magic for you. Just in case you were interested.
He was so deep in thought he hadn’t noticed Garreth watch him leave the greenhouse and walk up behind him.
“How did it go? Is the plan on?” Garreth asked, breaking Sebastian from his thoughts.
Oh right, the plan. Sebastian thought it was more idiotic by the second, but it got him a date with someone he hadn’t realized he had some things in common with, so it couldn’t be that bad. He stopped walking and faced Garreth, glancing over the red head’s shoulder to make sure you weren’t coming out of the greenhouse. “Sure, it’s on. What now?”
“Brilliant.” Garreth was ecstatic. “Now all I have to do is keep my distance until the ball’s over.”
Sebastian seemed to like the sound of that. “Uh - right. Good thinking. Well, best be off.” Sebastian turned to make his way to his dorm, keen on getting that book list started for you.
“You’re a real one for this, Seb!” Garreth called after him.
Without looking back, Sebastian gave him a thumbs up.
-
Would he look overeager having brought the list of books and this enchanted bag? Merlin, he hoped not. He was already waiting for you outside the library, a little too late to have that regret.
He pushed up off the wall he was leaning against when he saw you approach. “You’re here.” He said, as if he were a little shocked you were actually going through with this.
“Don’t look so surprised.” You spoke in a hushed tone and smirked. “What’s that you’ve got there?” You asked, looking down at the bag and parchment in his hands.
“Oh, it’s - I was thinking - In case you wanted to take any more books that mention ancient magic while we’re down there, you could put them in here. It’s an enchanted bag that can fit just about anything.”
Your eyes widened, it was very thoughtful of him to go out of his way for you like that. “You’re joking. You didn’t have to do this.” You went up and took the items from him, looking over the list and taking a peek inside the bag.
You were right. He didn’t have to. But for whatever reason, he really wanted to. Why did I want to?
“I usually bring one anyway. It was no trouble.” The first part was a lie. “Now, do you know the disillusionment spell?”
-
It was way too late in the night when Sebastian returned to his dorm room. But he wasn’t tired, not at all, not after what you and him had just gone through to get that book.
After kicking off his shoes and shrugging off his robes, he slid into bed easily. He folded his arms behind his head and looked up at the ceiling, already nostalgic for the night he just had with you.
You were… Wow, you were something. Sneaking into the restricted section with you was already riveting. Going through all the books on that list he made and glancing over them together had stirred him. You two stood close while he pointed out the relevant passages he had found, and you listened attentively, as if it were the most fascinating thing in the world. But when you two had found that ancient magic vault, he was done for. What an adventure that was!
He had so many emotions about it all. Discovering that ancient magic still existed had him ecstatic, he knew there were untouched areas of magic to explore further for Anne. And watching you wield it as if you had done so your whole life had him overwhelmed with hope, hope he was sure his uncle was nearly successful in getting rid of. And to top it off, exploring that vault and fighting giant guardian statues alongside you was… Wow! It was the first time he’d felt so alive since Anne got cursed.
How could someone like you have been under his nose this whole time? He thought back to when you were partnered in potions class, had he really been so blind even then? He couldn’t be wasting any more time. He only had a few weeks until the ball and Garreth would be pulling all the stops to make you his.
-
Sebastian sneaked glances at you during breakfast. You seemed to be busy finishing up some last minute homework, every now and then taking a bite of your toast. Had you always made simple acts look this endearing? Even the face you made while you fixated on your homework had his insides warming like a first year with a crush.
Your gaze lifted from your writing to look around the dining hall in thought. Your eyes landed on him, and he immediately wanted to die, embarrassed he got caught staring. But then you smiled at him, and he didn’t want to die anymore. He smiled back and you went back to your homework.
Gathering your belongings, you got up from your seat and made your way over to him. He got antsy as he watched you approach, but he was able to keep an air of calm.
“Sebastian, could I steal you for a moment?” You asked in a hushed tone.
“Of course.” Stop sounding so eager, you buffoon. He got up and followed you until you were just out of hearing distance from everyone else.
“I got a lead on where the book’s missing pages are. And I um - Well, I -”
Sebastian eyed you as you started shuffling your feet. Are you nervous?
“I was wondering - you know, since we worked so well together getting the book - if you’d like to come with me to get them? No need to feel like you have to! I just thought -”
“Absolutely, I’m coming with you.” He found himself saying.
An ecstatic look formed on your features, but you tried to bite it back. “Great, I’ll meet you after dinner tonight.”
Sebastian gave you a nod, trying to hold back an enthusiasm of his own.
You held your books closer to you as you started to take your leave, but you stopped suddenly, remembering something. “Oh, Sebastian. Before I forget.” You had his full attention again as you dug around in your robes pocket. “Ah, here it is.” You held out a shrivelfig to him, giving him a look of go on, take it.
He took it gingerly from your hand and looked at you, bewildered.
“You mentioned you spent the last of your money on a shrivelfig to try out for Anne, but your uncle destroyed it.”
Sebastian lifted his brows, amazed you had remembered such a thing. “Thank you.” He said, meaning it more than you knew.
“It’s the least I can do for all your help.” You waved him off. “I’ve been growing some anyway, and I’ve got more on the way if you ever need.” You were getting jumpier by the second and knew you had to get out of there before you made an idiot of yourself. “See you tonight.”
He was about to speak but you rushed off before he could get anything out. He looked down at the shrivelfig and turned it in his hand. You’d only been speaking a few days, and he already had it bad for you.
-
All too soon, it was the night of the ball, the last night he’d have with you before Garreth’s plan came to an end and he’d try to make you his. He wanted to enjoy it. He wondered if he should confront Weasley, but what would the point be if you didn’t have feelings for him any way? You and Garreth had been close for a majority of the year, while you and Sebastian only had these last few weeks together… these wondrous, extraordinary, marvelous few weeks.
He leaned up against the wall with his hands in his pockets as he waited. Nellie Oggspire had just walked down the steps and linked arms with Garreth. The red head gave him a knowing nod of his head as he passed, and Sebastian nodded back, trying not to tip him off that anything was amiss.
He glanced back up at the stairs to see if the person who just arrived was you. He saw it wasn’t and looked back down. Wait, yes it is! He shot up off the wall and stood up straight. He hardly recognized you, you cleaned up so wonderfully. He found you plenty attractive in your day-to-day getups already, yet you still managed to bring yourself up another level? Your smile at him as you walked down the steps was a spell in its own right. That’s not fair. He wanted to whine.
He met you at the bottom of the stairs, holding out his hand for you to take as you walked down the last few steps. He kept his eyes on yours as he kissed your knuckles. The feel of his lips on your skin had you weak, thankfully he held out his arm for you to take. Hopefully he wouldn’t mind if you leaned on him a bit.
The two of you looked out to the great hall, admiring how everything had been redone for the ball. Sebastian caught sight of Garreth gawking at you like he was in pain. Pushing Garreth to the back of his mind, he glanced back at you and was relieved you didn’t seem to notice the green eyed boy.
He cleared his throat, trying to forget Weasley existed. “Would you like to dance?”
“Yes, please.” You smiled sweetly. Dancing was the best next step. Your nerves were wild within you holding onto Sebastian like this, no way you would have been able to keep still.
He guided you to the dance floor and twirled you before bringing you into the proper waltz stance, just as you hoped he would. You looked up at him, holding each other a bit closer than what was probably appropriate for a school dance, and wondered how you two could possibly be so in sync after only a few weeks of getting to know each other.
You had never thought yourself to be a great dancer. But somehow, with Sebastian in the lead, you felt as if you had suddenly become an expert. It must have been all the dueling the two of you had done together, that was practically a dance in and of itself. Being constantly aware of where the other was at all times, covering each other’s blind spots, not allowing one misstep to let the other get a scratch on them.
Neither of you had any idea how many songs you danced through. If you had the stamina, you two remained on the dance floor. Sebastian couldn’t recall ever liking dancing this much, couldn’t recall ever liking it in the slightest. But you seemed to bring it out of him, he wasn’t complaining.
It wasn’t until Sebastian started to overheat in his coat that he realized how long the two of you had been going. “I don’t want to stop but I need to take this off.” He huffed with a laugh, slowing the two of you down to a stop. He hated that he had to throw off the momentum at all.
“It’s alright.” You panted. “I need to run to the washroom anyway. Grab us some drinks for when I’m back!” You called to him as you sped off, wanting to return as soon as possible.
Garreth caught Sebastian’s dreamy stare as he watched you walk off. He excused himself from Nellie to get drinks at the same time as him.
Sebastian didn’t seem to notice Garreth approach, too caught up in getting a glass for you and him, a pleased smile on his face. Garreth cleared his throat to grab his attention and Sebastian’s gaze shot up, his smile faltering. “Evening.” Garreth said, eyeing him.
“Evening.” Sebastian replied innocently, hoping that was the end of it. With drinks in hand, he went and found the table with your names on it. Garreth, forgetting drinks for him and Nellie, followed close in pursuit. Once he set down your glasses, Sebastian shrugged off his jacket then placed it on the back of the chair. All the while, wishing Garreth would take a hint and sod off.
“Look Sallow. I’m grateful you’re helping me out, but could you tone it down a bit? You two uh… really seem to be enjoying yourselves.” He glanced at the entrance to make sure you weren’t coming back yet, then turned back to Sebastian. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to make a move.” Garreth chuckled amicably, but Sebastian could still hear the warning in it.
“Garreth, relax. It's all a part of the plan.” He’d say anything to keep Garreth away from you that night. “Don’t wuss out now and ruin all your progress. Now off you go, back to Nellie, distance makes the heart grow fonder and such.” He shooed.
Garreth gave him one last uneasy glance, then went on his way.
Sebastian sat himself down while he waited for you. Catching his breath and trying to recover so he’d be ready to dance again when you returned. He looked up towards the entrance and locked eyes with you as you made your way back. You smiled at each other, both thankful there was still plenty of the night left to go.
Ominis put his hand on Sebastian’s shoulder, giving a quick whistle to grab his attention. Sebastian glanced up then down at the flask he was expertly sneaking to him.
“Ominis, you bad bad boy.” Sebastian laughed. Looking back at you, he smoothly took it from him. He hid it in his lap as you arrived and slid into the seat next to him. He realized then, he wouldn’t have any if you didn’t.
“You better give me some of that.”
He also realized he’d gladly share. Sebastian was slightly aroused at seeing this misbehaving side of yours, how sly you were when holding your glass under the table for him to pour some of the flask in. He then swiftly poured some into his glass under the table as well, then put the cap back on to give back to Ominis.
“If anyone suspects anything, you and I had a fight and didn’t speak to each other at all tonight.” Ominis slid the flask back into his coat and left to join Isaac Cooper’s side.
“Bet I can get it down smoother than you can.” You teased, holding up your glass to cheers with his.
“Can you now?” Sebastian brought up his glass, clinking it with yours. You linked your arm with his and then brought the glass to your lips. He did the same, and you two chugged, keeping your eyes locked.
The both of you handled it about the same, faces only contorting marginally at the dreadful taste. It wasn’t much, but downing it as you both had could get you a slight buzz.
“Do this often, do you?” You and Sebastian released each other, setting down your glasses and standing.
“I had a life before Hogwarts, believe it or not.” You chuckled as he grabbed your hand and pulled you back out towards the dance floor.
The musicians shifted the tone from elegant waltzing music to exhilarant jig music, a vocalist joining in to sing some well known shanties. You and Sebastian joined in the crowd of students, singing and swaying along.
With the buzz still warm on your cheeks as you stood side by side in the crowd, he threw an arm around you. You gladly wrapped an arm around him as well, reaching your other hand up to hold onto his on your shoulder. This was one of the greatest nights of his life.
-
Both you and Sebastian were exhausted. Try as you might, you couldn’t stay any longer. You were both worn thin, your night had been incredible.
“Ow.” You whined groggily, resting a hand on the nearest wall.
“What’s wrong?” Sebastian shrugged on his coat then put a hand on your shoulder, looking you up and down in concern.
“My shoes are brand new and I didn’t break them in before tonight. My feet are killing me.” You laughed.
A smirk formed on his face as an idea popped in his head. He moved in front of you and bent his knees slightly. He gestured with his head towards his back. “Up you go.” He said.
Your eyes widened slightly as you stared at him, amused. Then, without another word, you hopped on his back, wrapping your arms and legs around him.
“Where to?” He asked as he gripped your thighs and walked on easily.
Holding on tight, you remembered you had a few magical beasts to feed and brush before bed.
-
As Sebastian carried you to the room of requirement, he was feeling bubble headed in the best way. He hitched you up higher, more out of his bustling nerves than feeling like he didn’t have a good enough hold on you. You rested your cheek against the side of his head, and he didn’t care if you could feel his cheeky grin about it or not.
The two of you arrived all too soon even though you took the long way, avoiding taking any floos. Sebastian was beyond disappointed the door didn’t show up, he was hoping this time would be different when you said it never showed up when someone else was with you. He may not have known exactly what the two of you would do in there, but you would be alone, with no chance of anyone else bothering you. A big part of it would have been validation he wasn’t just anyone you’d brought around. He wanted to be someone special, the only one the room felt worthy to let in with you.
“I suppose this is where I leave you.” He began sheepishly, letting you down gently from his back. You looked delightedly at one another and he ran an anxious hand through his hair. “I had a really great time tonight.”
Your insides went into a tizzy. “Me too.” You beamed at him. You didn’t want to end this night or part ways with him. “So I uh - I know it’s late, are you sure you still want to help me tomorrow morning? I understand if you’d rather sleep in.” You didn’t doubt he would come with you the next day, you just wanted to hear him tell you he wouldn’t miss it.
“Of course I’m sure. I’ll be there.” He unknowingly took a step towards you, the two of you drifting closer without thinking.
You bit your lip to stop yourself from smiling like a dope. “Good. I’m glad to hear it.”
You two stood in coy silence for a moment, wanting the other to say something, anything to keep your night going a bit longer. “Well, I should get going so the room can appear for you, shouldn’t I?” He chuckled awkwardly, still not making any sort of move to take his leave.
“Ah, right.” You nodded your head, glancing briefly at the wall then looking back at him. You went in to hug him goodbye and he didn’t hesitate to hug you back. You held each other firmly in each other’s arms for a few seconds, then let go, smiles still painfully plastered on your faces. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” You told him.
“Bright and early.” He assured.
“Bright and early.” You repeated, no longer caring if you looked like a flushing mess. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
The two of you looked at each other for another moment, staying in place and becoming jumpy. You both went in for another hug, holding each other closer and longer this time, letting each other’s warmth envelope you. He took in your scent as you nuzzled your face against his neck.
“Goodnight.” He said again in a whisper.
You released each other, your faces temptingly close for a brief moment until you stepped back. He remained facing you as he started taking small, reluctant steps backwards to leave.
He watched as the smile faded from your face and you eyed him as if you were dispirited he was leaving. He stopped in his tracks, and a starved look took over your features. He was sure his face was doing the exact same thing.
You launched at one another, fusing your lips together. It was such a dizzying collision, the two of you weren’t really aware of where your hands were. The only thing that was clear was that they were on each other, holding the other close while roaming all over. Somehow, Sebastian had gotten you pressed up against the wall. He needed help keeping upright while his mouth moved in earnest, gasping and sighing along with yours.
Sebastian Sallow’s weight against you was something you never knew you needed. You bit at his bottom lip and sucked, hoping that would keep him anchored to you. A deep, muffled “mmh” noise escaped him and it was the most intoxicating sound.
He pulled back slightly to look at you then, eyes going over your features as he caught his breath. He couldn’t help but drag his fingers lightly down your cheek as you looked back at him, just as breathless.
He returned his lips to yours, taking it sweet and slow then. This time, he didn’t want to be dizzy, he wanted to be sturdy and in his right mind tasting you. Your hands felt so soft as they cupped his neck. A tingling sensation went down his spine when they slowly slid up to the back of his head, fingers running through his hair.
You were so lost in one another, that if anyone were to walk by you’d have no idea, no sense to pull away anyway.
-
Sebastian walked down to the Slytherin common room in a whimsical haze, humming each one of the songs he danced with you to that night. His lips felt swollen from all your kisses, it was wonderful.
His dreamy state came to an abrupt end when he found Garreth pacing frantically in front of the Slytherin Common room. The red head looked up at his arrival and his eyes went wide.
“There you are!” Garreth strode up to him and Sebastian got in a readied stance with his feet. “Where were you?! I saw you two leave and the way you were looking at each other all night and - Oh please tell me you didn’t do anything.”
Sebastian avoided his gaze. He didn’t feel for a second that Garreth should be with you instead, but damn him if he didn’t feel a little sorry for the poor fool.
“Sallow?” Garreth felt like he was going to be sick, but he held out the tiniest bit of hope. If Sebastian said nothing happened between you two, he’d run with it and never look back.
Man up and tell it to him straight. Sebastian took a deep breath and lifted his chin, physically and mentally preparing to get punched, he’d let Weasley have that much. “We kissed. We’re going to start seeing each other.”
Garreth’s eyes went wild, and he let out an incredulous guffaw. “Are you now? Well that’s just brilliant, isn’t it?!” It wasn’t really directed at him, Sebastian noticed. Garreth began pacing back and forth, looking as if he was going mad. “Why in Merlin’s name did I listen to that knobhead?! Hey Northcott, did you know spending time with someone and treating them right works? Who would have guessed?!” He looked back at Sebastian then, he clenched his hand into a fist like he was going to deck him. “I ought to bash your face in, Sallow. But right now, I’m more itching to have a word with Northcott. Best watch your back, I’m not done with you.”
Sebastian released the breath he was holding as Garreth stormed off. He could take him in a duel no problem, but he’d better keep a close eye on his food and drinks for a while.
#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x reader#sebastian sallow fanfiction#sebastian sallow x you#sebastian sallow x gn reader#sebastian sallow imagine#sebastian sallow x mc
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i believe survivors of RAMCOA when they talk about the abuse they suffered, but the one thing i cannot wrap my head around is how abusers purposefully program alters? and this makes the moral ocd worms in my brain go NUTS.
i think i dont understand bc not every child who goes through severe torture/abuse will develop DID/OSDD and it feels way more probable that abusers arent attempting to make alters so much as theyre conditioning certain responses (and if a childs brain happens to split these experiences into alters then thats a byproduct that benefits the abuser).
all of this makes me feel like a bad ally to RAMCOA survivors, and while its not your job to educate me would you mind explaining how the programming alters aspect works?
[Trigger warning: talking about how programming works and why not all children who experience RAMCOA develop DID or may not end up becoming fully programmed. Brief mentions of child death. Mentions of child torture. Nothing in detail, obviously. Also talking a lot about how the deprogramming process works. If you are a programmed system yourself and you worry this could be triggering, have grounding items nearby just in case.]
Note: when I say “successfully” or “properly” programmed system, I’m talking about in the eyes of the abusers. Also, this is talking about TBMC (torture based mind control) programmers. I have to put that disclaimer because you wouldn’t believe how many confused computer programmers I’ve gotten in comment sections on other socials.
So, the reason not every child who goes through RAMCOA develops DID is because developing DID requires some pre-requisites. Things like genetic predisposition to dissociate actually do make a big difference. Also, how early the abuse started. If someone goes through RAMCOA trauma, but not until they’re older and their personality has already begun integrating (which can happen younger in some children, even as young as around age 5-7, though some researchers have said personality integration can happen as late as the teen years) it will be significantly harder to develop DID and therefore properly program the child. In addition, how much access programmers have to the child, how long they had access to the child, and how much support the child has outside of the abuse are also contributing factors.
If programmers see this kid one week out of the month, the parents don’t know about it and therefore the kid has a relatively okay home life with love and support, and they only have access to the kid for a couple years, that’s not going to be good grounds for programmers being able to properly do what they want to do. Some may still try if they don’t have access to anyone else, but this rarely creates a “successful” programmed system. Conversely, if they see the kid every day or multiple days a week, a parent is in on it/they have a bad home life where abuse (of possibly a lesser magnitude but not always) occurs, the parents are neglectful or very busy and likely to not notice things, and they have access to this kid for several years, that makes for a better chance that this kid will be properly programmed.
Because of all of these factors, programmers will often pick children who they know have parents with PTSD or CPTSD (or a dissociative disorder, if the parent has disclosed that to them), who they can access early in their life or have prior history of abuse (so are more likely to already have begun developing a dissociative disorder), and whom they have access to frequently. Sometimes, the child’s parent will be programmed by the group themselves and be born quite literally just to be programmed by the group. Some groups take great care in keeping family groups within the group because that creates stronger loyalty bonds and gives them easy access to children to program. It’s not uncommon for a group goal to be for their grown programmed systems to have kids to eventually give to the group, which is why apprehending a programmed system and having them work on deprogramming before this can happen is essential.
A lot of kids that programmers desire to program actually end up “failing out” because they aren’t able to take to the programming. Depending on the group, this could mean they will end the kid’s life or they will just stop the programming-related abuse altogether. And contrary to what most people know, even successfully programmed children have loads of failed programs, or parts that didn’t take well to programming. Most of the time these parts who have failed programming will be put in “discard areas” in the system’s inner world, and they will be either forced into dormancy or they will be stuck there until amnesia barriers eventually break down as the grown person starts to work on deprogramming (if they ever do.) A successfully programmed system’s most active parts are parts who did not fail their programming, and these are often the most well-rounded parts retrofitted with a personality that would have likely been created by the abusers.
To add: there is often layers upon layers of amnesia even in these single well-rounded parts (that often end up having an alters-in-alters subsystem, and said part might not even be aware they have one) and the “top part” or most front-facing part of that subsystem may not even be aware they are programmed. At least, until a cue happens and their program starts running and they start doing things they wouldn’t normally be doing. A lot of programmed parts don’t even know their own cues or even what traumas they have that would have created their programming. They might know they have trauma, but the memories of the programming might be missing, or the context surrounding the programming traumas might be missing. Usually these cues and context behind the traumas are hidden in EPs or fragments that are buried pretty deep within their subsystems. Accessing these EPs in therapy is integral to the deprogramming process, as learning what manipulations were done to make a programmed part believe what they do is essential in undoing it. All deprogramming really is, is showing programmed parts that what their abusers made them believe was true is a lie and that they are not at risk to be harmed anymore if they no longer have contact with the group. (Cutting off a system’s communication with the group is first and foremost what they should do when deprogramming)
As for your assumption, that abusers are trying to condition children and these experiences happen to split an alter to hold the conditioned response, you are partially right. In some cases, especially in cases where it’s a single parent or a family unit doing this to their own kids, it’s often more likely that the parent is not fully aware that they are creating a DID system. This is where the difference between programming and conditioning is important to note. We made a video about this here: link to TikTok video.
However, in larger groups, programmers do know they are creating a system. DID is not some unknown secret to much of the world, and research about it is easy to find. Even inexperienced groups can find research on DID and how alters form very easily and use that to try and create a system in a child. Whether or not they will be successful with that info alone is hard to say. I was abused by two different groups, one of them inexperienced and one of them very experienced. The initial attempts at programming were often unsuccessful, and we assume they got in contact with the experienced group to learn more and they essentially showed our main handler/programmer how it was done. (We have memories of him being taught and observing/taking part as necessary to the teachings, so this is not speculation, we know this was the case.) Once we were in the hands of the experienced group, we became very well programmed and our system’s organization changed massively. On top of that, the inexperienced group was now experienced, so we actually have alters who are programmed by two separate groups, each loyal to their own group. Some of our parts were loyal to both because they were programmed by both. (“Were” loyal because we’ve deprogrammed significantly and they no longer feel loyal to the groups anymore.)
Like I said in my initial post, programming alters is actually not that complicated on the surface, though in practice it is difficult, and to create a well programmed system takes a lot of skill and intelligence. Skilled programmers are unfortunately often incredibly smart individuals. Anyone who’s been willing to speak with me about their programmers often cite them as being people with high level college degrees. Doctors, engineers, mathematicians, scientists, psychologists. If not a college degree, they often work in areas like police work, political work, religious ministry, or other city/county/state positions. If none of these, they (horrifyingly) tend to work in areas where children are often present. Pediatric doctors/nurses, summer camp counselors, Sunday school teachers, daycare attendants, nannying jobs, teaching, etc. While not all programmers will fit this bill, a lot of them do. In the world outside of their programming job, they are often well-liked by their community. This is not to say everyone in these positions is a programmer, also. Want to make that REALLY clear. Not every person with this job has a secret side job of torturing kids, these just happen to be common areas they tend to gravitate toward. They are often thrill-seeking sadists and egocentric. Having a position in their community in which they are consistently recognized for their accomplishments or adored is often important to them. Sometimes, programmers are also programmed themselves, especially in large groups with generational aspects involved.
Now that that’s out of the way, I’m not going to explain in explicit detail how programming works because that doesn’t make me comfortable to share, but a very dumbed down version of it is pretty simple:
1) torture child to create alter splits
2) get one of these splits to front via triggers related to the torture that caused them to split
3) indoctrinate them with a behavior or action that, if they do not do that action, means they will be punished further. While they are doing said action/being indoctrinated with certain beliefs, have a specific trigger or cue present so that when they see that trigger/cue in the future, they will immediately do the action/enforce the beliefs they have been taught.
4) repeat steps 1-3, basically.
This is why I explained that programming is kind of like conditioning on steroids. Except the child is severely manipulated, tortured, and has extreme threats of harm to self or others to reinforce it, and this is done repeatedly, to the point where it causes the alter extreme duress if they do not do their assigned task because if they didn’t do their task in the past (in childhood) they would be tortured or would have to witness other children be tortured. They will fully believe if they do not do the thing, they or others WILL be hurt, and they believe the programmers WILL know if they don’t, so they often just do it automatically in efforts to avoid the punishment they believe is coming. It is extremely hard for them to override the emotional flashbacks, somatic flashbacks, etc, if they try to resist doing the task. Adding onto that, programmers will often create alters who will punish parts in the inner world the same way the abusers would if they do not do their task, so that is another layer of fear on top of that. These programmed parts often cannot distinguish the difference between outer world torture and inner world torture, as they rarely get contact with the outside world except to do their tasks. So if they don’t do their task, they will be punished by alters in the inner world space and they may fully believe they are being punished in real life. Creating safe spaces for alters to go in the inner world if they don’t do their assigned task is an important part of deprogramming. Because once an alter realizes they will not be punished both externally and internally by not doing a certain action, they will be much less inclined to do said action.
If all of that sounds extremely messed up and fucks with your moral OCD, you’re right to feel that way. It is messed up. These people are vile, fucked up, and cruel. They often do not see the children as human beings and care not of how much this damages the child physically, psychologically, and emotionally. These children are dehumanized beyond belief. Many programmed parts of a system do not see themselves as human unless they were specifically meant to be human. Commonly created alters are things with no free will or no ability to think for themselves, such as angels, robots, and inanimate objects. If a child truly believes they cannot think for themselves, it will be harder to deprogram them. Which is why deprogramming often involves teaching the grown system that they are allowed to make choices outside of their group’s desires and control. It is not easy.
For those that read this and are feeling dissociated and/or anxious, remember your grounding techniques. Get some mints, cinnamon candies, or sour candies and munch. Smell a strong scented candle. Hold some ice or hand warmers in your hands. Look around the room and pick out items that you recognize to be from the present. Pet a cat/dog/[insert animal here] or hug a stuffed animal. Remember, it is currently 2024 and you are safe. Your abusers will not know you read this unless you tell them yourself. You are brave, capable, and safe. I believe in you and your healing journey.
Take care, everyone.
#tbmc tw#mind control programming tw#torture tw#death tw#child death tw#ramcoa tw#cult tw#trafficking tw#ramcoa#ramcoa survivor#tbmc survivor#dissociative identity disorder#manybutone#anon ask#answered asks
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Headcanons I've written in my discord server over the span of ~10 months
Warnings: Lust mentioned at the very end, will be under a cut, The last part of Horror's section is also under the cut for an implied ED, and emetophobia
Misc/AU instead of Sans related, multiple at once:
All actual Sanses have the same birthday, but they celebrate their creation days as one too, if they know it most Sanses talk in sans-serif type fonts Only Classic talks in Comic Sans Dream, Nightmare, and Fresh don't talk in a sans serif font at all Error's* font is also different Outertale: When you're in a quiet spot, you can actually hear the stars twinkle (hc inspired by a part of my comfort MLP fan animation Snowdrop) AUs have cultural differences, and I'm not talking about stuff that's obvious like Underfell You know how some creators speak more than just english? What if it's because their underground is located under a mountain in a different part of the world Not only do AUs have different languages sometimes but also different accents
Classic
Classic doesn't have inside or outside clothes, he sleeps with the clothes he wears outside He'd love Weird Al's music Would absolutely wear crocs Smells faintly like books and chemicals even if he hasn't been in a library or lab recently Do you think he washes that jacket if it's not stained? Absolutely not Sci: smells like plastic wrapped books that have just been opened
Killer
is really good at pretending to be sober when drunk (In the more fanon bad sanses dynamic) forces the rest of the bad sanses do take stupid BuzzFeed quizzes Smells like handwritten books Stage 1/2 has a lot of quiet moments where he just analyses listens to Set It Off
Cross
listens to Nightcore music & Set It Off
hogs blankets
Cross, I love you...you use axe body spray
Absolutely illegal that people think Cross is taller than Dream, he's shorter
Any time Cross and Epic are in a room together, they're glued to each others side even if theyre currently arguing
Nightmare
has a high alcohol tolerance, you can't tell me those apples weren't rotten enough to be alcoholic would talk in the Money Penny font
Ink
The star sanses go to cafes and judge people's outfits jokingly, as if Ink with his toeless socks can judge anyone
Their alcohol tolerance is highly dependand on what vials he drinks before
sends either an insane amount of small voice notes or one really long one, no in between
They're strong enough to pick people up but it looks so funny because they're so short
Ink, as a parent, would be the exact opposite of those 'Beige moms'
He refuses to deprive his kids of sensory input like that Would be fascinated by Killer's soul
They sneeze like a dad
Coffee has no effect on them
We all agree his vials are like mental illness medication right?
Error:
Can hear Undertale's soundtrack sometimes and it drives him wild
*His font is partially comic sans, partially other sans serif fonts
Gets headaches very easily
Smells like comic books, especially those that smell more like printer ink
We already know Error's eyesight is shit, but it's especially horrible and close to nonexistent on his smaller eye
Geno
Soul beats very unevenly
gets drunk really easily bc he's constantly bleeding, so there's less alcohol-free blood in his system for it to filter out (cough cough CPAU)
I feel like he would die from a sip of energy drink
Once he gets to the surface, he'll suffer from chronic headaches and other pains
He would would drop his backstory exactly the way dads drop Dad Lore (if you know, you know)
Geno looks like a coffee drinker but drinks tea
Smells like old books, specifically dry basement ones
Reaper
has haphephobia that stems from his death touch
At the same time, touch starved af
He drinks coffee despite having tea drinker vibes to people
Fell
Sometimes he just imagines random shit happening that would make him angry, and then gets angry over that
His summer outfit is the exact same but a sleeveless sweater under his jacket instead of a normal one
can only make 3 recipes and burns those sometimes too
giggles after getting kissed (he will deny this)
Uses Old Spice deo
Short king short king
has shoplifted before
Swap/Blue
gets hungry really fucking quickly
(I have a huge hc list specifically for him)
Dream
is a coffee drinker
He gives me the vibes of old people trying to use modern slang, but doing so incorrectly
sucks at modern technology
Once he finds out about emojis, it's over for everyone
is into astrology
the opposite of a Disney princess. Animals don't like him
Dream's insults hit harder than Nightmare's, he just knows what hurts you
High alcohol tolerance
Ccino
exhausted
has a Morning Special he makes himself before working at his cafe. It has way too much caffeine in it
One day Dream walked into his cafe, Ccino took a good look at him and gave him his Morning Special™
Only certain people can drink it though - this means both that only some tolerate it, but also that Ccino only gives it to some
Dust/Murder
Soul beats faster than others' souls
has absolutely horrible posture
jumps to conclusions easily
Dust hated Swap as soon as he first met him
I mean, Dust doesn't like himself much for he did, ESPECIALLY to his brother
So a Sans who acts kinda like a Papyrus? Nuh uh
Is this the basis of Dustberry?
Anyway
Smells like an old, slightly burnt book
Concept: Phantom Papyrus but he used to be a hallucination that turned into an actual ghost somehow -> Phantom and XChara can see each other
Horror
doesn't like horror movies much
he's seen enough shit
Likes chickens
Hc for fanon horror: cooking for the bad sanses, at first didn't trust anyone else
Canon Horror probably can't cook very well
Faint smell of damp books
TW ED, TW Lust
Horror has moments where he binge eats and then regrets it later
Lust
Is like the only Sans who enjoys warm weather
Infertile, compromises by being a cool ass babysitter
Loves flowers
A tea drinker
Transatlantic accent
Listens to Mitski
When he's looking at something he likes/loves, his eye lights turn monster soul shaped instead of heart shaped
#utmv#undertale#undertale au#my posts#my headcanons#my rambles#sans au#au sans#au sans hcs#au sans headcanons#classic sans#killer sans#cross sans#ink sans#error sans#geno sans#reaper sans#fell sans#dream sans#ccino sans#dust sans#horror sans#lust sans#swap sans
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Finding Peace 🕊️
Content warnings- angst, medical talk and hospital stay. NICU/ pre mature birth.
Summary- Mia and Noah are faced with the pre mature birth of their daughter, an emergency C-Section and a NICU stay.
Paring- Baby daddy! Noah Sebastian X OC Mia
~Chapter Seven~ Mia’s POV
~3 weeks later~
Gulping down the last of my water I set the glass in the sink as I double over and grab onto the counter. Pain shoots through my back, it’s almost like period cramping but about 10 times worse. No ones is home currently. The guys went to the studio early, Noah said they probably wouldn’t be back till late tonight. The pain has been coming and going since I woke up at 8am, it’s 5 in the evening now. It has become more frequent and more intense. As the pain subsides i walk to the table and grab my phone calling Noah.
“Hello?” He said after the third ring.
“Noah I need you to come home. I think she’s coming now.”
“What do you mean? You aren’t due for another like 7 weeks?” Panic rises in his voice and I can hear his keys jingle. “I’m on my way, I’ll be there in 20 minutes” a rush a liquid down my legs and a small puddle on the floor has me crying.
“Noah- my water broke” tears stream down my face. It’s too early, she’s not ready. Shes too early, too small, too weak.
“I’ll be there in 5, don’t move!” The engine roars to life. Noah is home in less than 5 minutes, his hair disheveled as if he’s been pulling at it.
“I’m scared” I’m shaking I can barely breathe the pain is becoming worse.
“It’s okay, why didn’t you call me earlier? I would have come home”
“I didn’t want to bother you”
“Let’s go, let’s go have a baby.” The ride to the hospital is a blur, the pain becomes almost unbearable. I’m rushed to labor and delivery and doctors and nurses are in and out of the room.
“When did you first notice the pain sweetheart?” An older lady ask me.
“When I got up this morning, around 8. I thought they were Braxton- ah” my sentence cut short as another pain arises.
“These are real sweets. Let’s call NICU make sure they’re ready for this little girl please” she calls out to one of the nurses. She nods before swiftly making her way out of the room.
“NICU?” Noah says.
“Yes sir- she’s a little early for the party. She’ll need some extra help adjusting” the woman says calmly. Noah’s eyes widened this wasn’t the plan, she was supposed to stay put. 7 weeks-she was supposed to keep getting bigger and stronger for 7 more weeks.
Roughly 2 hours had passed before doctors and nurses were running into the room. One throwing a paper gown to Noah. “Mia, her heart rate is low, we need to do something now. It could be detrimental, we need to do an emergency C-Section. Okay?” Being wheeled down the hall and to an elevator, we make our way to the OR.
“Okay Mama! we’re ready, dad should be here in just a second then we’re going to start.” The doctor says as Noah rushes through the double doors and straight to me. “Alright everyone, let’s have a baby.” The doctor starts asking for supplies, everyone is moving quickly and soon a small person is lifted above the curtain. Shes here.
“Congratulations it’s a girl!” The doctor says before handing her to the nurse, who rushes her to the warmer.
“Shes not crying! Why isn’t she crying? Hello somebody tell me why my daughter isnt crying! Noah please go- go see her. Why isn’t she crying?she’s supposed to cry!” The room is silent for a moment but it feels like an eternity before a loud scream is heard and I exhale a breath i didn’t know I was holding. Noah walks back over to me tears in his eyes as he begins brushing the hair back from my face. “Shes so beautiful, she has your nose and lips. Theyre going to take her now do you want to meet her before they go?” Nodding, he steps aside as a young nurse brings Ophelia into view. Wrapped in a white hospital blanket her cry’s have become more of a sniffle, she’s so little. How is she supposed to be able to fight when she’s this tiny.
After the doctor had closed me up and I was sent to recovery. Ophelia was taken to the NICU. Tubes and wires are covering most of her small body and face. “You can hold her if you want.” The nurse says to me. “You won’t hurt her.”
“This wasn’t supposed to happen. Shes not strong enough, we don’t have her nursery done. We were supposed to have time.” My voice wavers. Looking at my little girl, the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor she’s connected too almost like a metronome.
“Mia. She is strong, she’s a fighter. Got some damn strong lungs too.” I laugh of course she would.
“Thats all Noah. The strong lungs. He’s a vocalist”
The nurse-Rebecca, opens the glass box and gently picks Ophelia up and out. Handing her to me before stepping back.
“What’s her name? If you have one picked out.”
“Ophelia Grace Davis” Noah says coming up behind me. “The guys are finishing her room. They left soon after I did. It’s done. They’ll be here soon, they have some things for you. We forgot your bag and the doctor said we will be here at least 48 hours. Standard protocol for C-Section.” His voice is soothing but does little to heal the pain in my chest.
“Can we stay here for a few more minutes?” He nods. Rebecca walks out leaving us look at the person we created in awe.

#bad omens#noah sebastian#bad omens cult#bad omens band#nick folio#jolly karlsson#nicholas ruffilo#badomenscult#badomens#concrete jungle#noah sebastian fic#noah sebastian fanfiction#noah sebastian bad omens#noah sebastian davis
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This is a weird question, but do you have advice on starting an ask blog for a character? Like how to get noticed and how to interact with other ask blogs? Is there specific etiquette? (Besides obviously not being a jerk) Asking you because of your great Narinder ask blog.
not weird at all, don't worry! i'm always happy to help however i can
also i might not be the best person to talk about this, the narinder askblog is only my third askblog, im still fairly new on this scene
MAKING A NEW BLOG
well, starting the blog is the easiest part, right? gather a few pictures that you like and personalize the way you like it best, the way that you think that fits the character!
for the intro post (and i really reccomend you having one, because not only it helps with making your blog look better and more organized, but also gives character and sets your boundaries), theres a few things that you can keep in mind
something that settles a personality for your character right at the top (could be a phrase, something they canonically said, maybe a picture? you name it!)
an about me section (what is the purpose of this blog? is it a roleplay blog, an askblog exclusively? who is this character? who are YOU?)
if your character is surrounded by sensitive topics or if you think that your blog could be surrounded by sensitive themes (gore, sexual themes, suicide themes, any phobias, etc.) it's good to have a few warnings in mind and put those on there for people to be aware
other than this, have fun personalizing it, maybe add a few extras, maybe songs, pictures, blinkies, anything! (i'll leave some useful resources at the bottom of this post *wink*)
now, of course, the hard part
INTERACTING AND PROPER ROLEPLAYING ETIQUETTE
this is something i personally love talking about because some younger/newbie roleplayers might not know, but there is in fact a roleplaying etiquette, but we're focusing on askblogs here, let's stay in our path and we'll get there eventually
i think my most asked question when it comes to this is how to be noticed by your community and how to interact with another bloggers
of course, the main part of being noticed is interacting! you have to understand that you can't build a flock out of just one bird, i know that this can be hard but shoot the bloggers you like an ask! send them dms, reblog posts, send asks, this is tumblr! our main feature IS sending asks!! this isnt twitter guys, come on, reblogging and sending asks is what makes we different than other social medias
if you're nervous about sending people an ask right away, you can send them a dm first, asking them if they are open to asks with other roleplayers, if theyre avaliable, theres no shame in this and i pinkie promise you that no one will hate you for this, no one is going to be mad at you
just remember, keep it respectful, keep your cool and dont push any boundaries
speaking of boundaries, we have to talk about
ROLEPLAYING ETIQUETTE
above all and everything that i say here, the MOST important part of roleplaying etiquette is that you HAVE to COMMUNICATE with your roleplaying partner
talk about your boundaries, what you do not enjoy doing in roleplay, the things you are open for, and listen to what they have to say too, this is not character AI where you can do anything for your own entertainment, we're dealing with people here, which is 100x more fun but also you gotta remember to keep it respectful
some basic grounds to stand on are:
Talk about your boundaries, and listen to your rp partner too (especially before doing anything that involves sensitive topics)
Talk about the theme of your roleplay, what you wish to do and what you want to avoid
Don't control someone else's characters for the sake of your lore (again, talk about it beforehand so you can know what works for both of you)
If we're talking about roleplay blogs, don't do anything major before talking to the parties that are involved and the parts that will be affected
Respect the other party's decision, as much as you want to be respected
Overall? Communicate and don't be a jerk
i think that summs it all up pretty well, but overall, if you guys have any questions i am more than glad to help!!
(psst, there's some resources under the cut! have fun!!)
How to make gradient text here
For blinkies and dividers!
More blinkies (and make your own blinkies easily)
HUGE pinterest folder full of graphic resources, dividers, icons, etc
Helpful unicode symbols for copypaste
Emojipedia, since sometimes emojis don't work well on tumblr
I'll update here once I find more, if anyone wants, I can make a full post only talking about resources for askblogs! (and you might as well want to talk to more experienced bloggers about this too! take care, have fun, bye!)
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RECAP OF CELLBIT'S STREAM, 05/05
investigating quesadilla island!! the man has gone full detective and lore mode. here's a link of my recap of his previous stream if you want to catch up. only updating on the first 5 hours of stream, since after he switches to more casual building/chatting
cellbit's plan for the day is investigating the mystery within quesadilla island. he even got a special skin for this occasion
he started a diary to keep notes of what he finds within his investigations. i compiled what he wrote so far and translated it in this file
he also finished his office/investigation room!! its under his house
he left the favela with philza and he's asking phil some questions regarding how they got to the server and how his days in the server went by so far
philza is telling him about his experience exploring the structures he found in the sky and his encounter with the binary code entity, which fit exploded with a bomb
philza gave cellbit the coordinates he got from the entity (2530, 66, 1892)
he's now asking philza about the eggs
(this section of the stream is in english, in case anyone is interested. i will get the correct timestamps once vode is out, but roughly it should be around 30 mins in until the 1 hour mark)
he's now heading to the train station where everyone arrived to investigate
after not finding anything other than the puzzles (which weirded him out due to why such a thing would need to exist and why it feels like everyone is being tested), he moved to explore the ship where the brazilians arrived
he's revisiting the puzzle found in the ship with the letters/flags. it involves the international code of signals. the letters were KXUT, meaning the following:
K - "i wish to communicate with you"
X - "stop carrying out your intentions and watch for my signals"
U - "you are running into danger"
T - "keep clear of me"
cellbit believes it was like a warning for them to not approach the island
he went to meet up with maximus and foolish. he's telling them about when he got attacked by the binary code entity
they all went to his office and are now discussing the flag puzzle/codes
they're rewatching the tapes now
cellbit, foolish and maximus are heading to the coordinates phil gave cellbit earlier
the location is close to luzu's house, and foolish explained to cellbit what has been supposedly going on with luzu and an ai called erin (i have personally not been keeping up with this part of the qsmp, so im not entirely sure)
(once again, this section is in english if you want to watch for yourself. will get exact timestamps later, but roughly between tge 2 hour and 3 hour mark)
RICHARLYSON STEPPED ON A MINE MY GOD MY HEART I WAS SO SCARED HE WAS GONNA DIE. hes fine tho!!!
they're speculating the federation got luzu and thats why he hasnt been on the server. also that the building they found (picture above) is how luzu's mind stays alive and in the server somehow, since it looks like a machine
rip tree
theyre speculating the number "8" on the building might be counting the eggs that are currently alive
cellbit's main theory right now is that they're stuck in a simulation and are being tested
cellbit also mentioned he doesnt think the eggs are real or that theyre a way to manipulate them to stay in the island and not search for a way to leave. obviously, the others dont want to believe that
(guys i think cellbit is going a bit insane)
cellbit thinks they should find a way to break out of the simulation
cellbit is now speculated that when the eggs got kidnapped the federation placed something inside the eggs, thats why theyre cracked. bbh added that maybe they took a sample out of them to do experiments
theyre discussing ways to try and break out of the simulation/leave the island
A BOOK WITH BINARY CODE SHOWED UP ON HIS INVENTORY ???? the code translates to "LEAVE"
theyre going to try and see if they can leave the island by following the train rails. the eggs will stay with poor philza minecraft
AS SOON AS THEY LEFT, PHILZA AND THE EGGS GOT ATTACKED BY THE BINARY CODE ENTITY HOLY SHIT????????? thankfully, bbh placed a teleporter thing and they all managed to go back quickly. however, once they arrived the binary code entity was already gone
after that, they gave up on exploring the rails and all went their separate ways
bobby drowned while trying to escape the binary entity.
cellbit is really scared right now that richarlyson might be attacked again, he feels guilt somehow since he believes the entity is attacking because of what he has been doing/saying
cellbit was watching the clip of philza and the eggs being attacked. he realized it was initially cucorucho who turned into the binary entity
the binary code on the entity translates to "AI" ...... possibly linking back to the luzu situation they were discussing earlier
the next session of the stream is cellbit and richarlyson expanding the basement to include more stuff. cellbit also plans to make an interrogation room for people he thinks are suspicious (quackity)
theyre now going to visit roier and bobby. richarlyson made bobby a little gift :)
cellbit told roier that he thinks the attacks are his fault. cellbit told him it was probably a warning from the entity
cellbit also told him that cucorucho became one of the binary entities
maximus is building a transmission tower to send messages in all languages to the server. cellbit is absolutely losing it at his portuguese
they went back home to keep working on the basement
cellbit is teaching richarlyson how to play chess (this is an important update). richarlyson lost, but cellbit told him to just shoot the opponent when he loses
quackity logged on and cellbit mentioned he might interrogate quackity on sunday
as cellbit was ending his stream, cucorucho showed up on his basement
now, over 5 hours into the stream, cellbit will be changing into more casual minecraft gameplay to work on his base and overall taking a break soon. i will be closing the stream and ending this post. will update later if anything more happens!! once again, feel free to dm me/send asks if you have any questions, comments or requests for clips/timestamps/translations <3
#qsmp#qsmp br#cellbit#richarlyson#richarlyson the egg#maximus#iroier#foolishgamers#badboyhalo#philza#stream recap#long post#boli recaps
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Best and Worst of Both worlds (part 8)
tw: like nasty living conditions implied
vote on da poll below ill start writing after 20 votes, next chapter will b focusing on monty
part 9
You can't do it. You can't say no to Yves without going through mental hoops. So you sigh as you let him conquer your room.
You had posters of your favorite artists, but they were all lost in the clutter long ago. It reemerged dusty and damaged, but Yves repaired it the best he could. It looks decent enough to hang.
You watched him cover his mouth in contemplation as he looked around the room, trying to figure out the best place to hang it.
Yves has done more for you than everyone else combined in your life. He cleaned, he cooked, he took care of your sickness, he cleaned you, he fed you, and now he's decorating your room to make it more habitable. All of this and you never said a word, neither protest nor request. You just let him do his thing.
From what you read in the group chat, he also replenished your section of the fridge with groceries.
Your housemate took a picture of the things he bought, all of them were labelled with your name. His handwriting is black marker ink undoubtedly beautiful.
Your housemate did warn him that you're not one for cooking, the perishables could potentially go to waste. He replied that he will be visiting over for the next few days to make your meals. One of them even broke the landlord's rules and gave him a spare key to the front door.
Eventually, Yves found the perfect places to position your posters' forever home. Who knew just the strategic placement of some piece of laminated paper would elevate a room? It looks much better and oddly bigger now... well maybe the latter due to his cleanup.
He clasped his hands and admired his work. As he should.
After that, he turned to you. Which made you jolt out of surprise.
"It's been an hour and a half. Do you still want to eat?" He asked.
You checked the time. He's right, it's now half past eleven. You're not hungry anymore, so you told him that you're full. He nodded and left your room again.
Your housemates blew up the group chat due to another wild Yves sighting around the house. Is this how it's going to be from now on?
This time, you received a picture of him portioning the leftover congee in disposable containers. He has his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, showing his lean forearms. You're surprised to see that they were riddled in old scars. It was captioned: "He's freezing the rest"
You squinted and it looks like he's weighing them on an electronic scale. There's a marker pen in this picture.
You sent a message to the group chat asking if he's using his own items.
"I think so??? Idk i have never seen these containers b4" "well theyre not stained yellow yet, he has gotta have these brand new" "yea n hes using rich people sharpies, like none of us here can afford it, all of us get offbrands"
You wonder if he managed to fit them into his handbag.
Yves came back into your room, explaining that the congee will last up to 3 months in the freezer. He also walked you through the steps on how to reheat them by yourself, using the microwave or otherwise. Yves told you not to worry if you couldn't remember what to do, he wrote it down and attached it to the containers- or you could call him instead.
You nodded and waited to see what he would do. Yves seem to be doing the same thing to you for the next few seconds. Eventually though, he deem that you didn't need anything from him at the moment.
"I have to retrieve something from my car." He informed you, walking towards his bag and fishing out his keys. He checked the contents of his thermos cup, it's empty. The metal straw clanked around the walls as he picked it up and carried it with him.
You paid no mind to your housemates' frantic messages enquiring about his departure. You're too tired to care anymore, and you're too tired to know if you actually wanted him here or gone. It's nice to have company for once, but it's from a questionable source.
So you tucked yourself under your blanket and curled up into a ball. Hiding your head under your pillow so you wouldn't need to see Yves when he comes in.
You heard footsteps. And sure enough, Yves is now breathing the same diseased air as you.
But this time, he says nothing. Yves flicked the switch to your lights off and set whatever he has down on your desk.
There was a long period of silence accompanied by the soft sounds of typing. A dim glow from his computer screen illuminated his face and reflected on his reading glasses. He's logging in all the events, the observations and other pieces of data he collected from you today.
Yet you're not awake to see any of it. Blissfully sleeping and snoring away as Yves kept you company throughout the night.
__
You woke up the next morning feeling much better. But still not as healthy as usual. You should be fit enough to go to the university today.
Yves is gone and so are his belongings. However, you found a handwritten note addressed to you on your night stand.
"Your breakfast is in the fridge. Look for a mason jar with your name. It is ready to eat. -Yves"
You stretched and yawned, crumpling the paper and shooting it into the trash can.
You peeled the blanket off yourself and set your feet down onto the floor. That was when you realized he left something on the foot of your bed.
Another note resting on top of a set of neatly folded clothes and a bottle of sunscreen.
"The weather today will be reaching 90⁰F/32.2⁰C, take care of yourself and avoid the sun. -Yves"
The clothes he picked for you were the ones you forgot you had. It was breathable and cooling, but in your daily, personal style. He must have found it yesterday when he did your laundry.
You carried it in your arms and walked to your door to see yet another note- this time it was a folded A4 sized paper, attached to your bag, which looked noticeably lighter and... newer.
"I do not recommend leaving yet. But if you do, I packed an umbrella for you. Please wash your water bottle regularly, it is growing mold. Your bag was full of unnecessary paper scraps, wrappers, food crumbs, and other garbage. I had to hand wash it as I found a dried house lizard pressed between a dictionary and a magazine. Some of the notes and textbooks you carry were not even required for this semester or the next, hence I kept it away on your shelf. Your bag had holes at the bottom and was already falling apart at the seams. I sewed the best I could, but replacing and upgrading is the better option. Be mindful of your belongings.-Yves"
Your face became bright red after reading the last line. You never asked him to do this for you! Why is he judging? He chose to stick around! You don't like being told you're pathetic, directly or indirectly!
Did he really have to underline the word "mold" more than thrice? And why did he switch to red ink for that one word?
You took a deep breath and sighed. Exiting your room to pay a visit to the bathroom.
You were taken aback by the cleanliness. It looked like how it was in the listing, shiny and grime free. The shampoo and soap bottles were arranged neatly with no trace of dark sludge coating it.
There is another note stuck to the mirror.
This time, there were crude drawings depicting penises urinating on your name, no doubt vandalized by your housemates. You went ahead to read what Yves had to say.
"To (name), I replaced your toothbrush as that too, was growing mold. Pay attention to your hygiene or else you will be prone to sickness.- Yves"
There were hearts drawn all around his name, no doubt the culprit was your housemate who took a liking to him.
After taking a shower and changing into your new set of clothes, you left the bathroom to eat breakfast in the kitchen.
You opened the now pristine fridge and sure enough, there is a mason jar with a sticker of your name on its side.
You rotated it to see that he has written something else:
"Banana chia pudding: Chia seeds, almond milk, banana slices, vanilla extract, maple syrup, granola. Gluten-free and lactose-free. Do not heat, eat as is."
You're not sure how to feel about the taste, texture and temperature. It is "sick people" food after all. Perhaps you liked it, perhaps you don't. But you are definitely grateful that you have a free meal from Yves.
One of your housemates entered the kitchen, she greeted you as she began preparing her own meal.
You asked her what time Yves left.
"Beats me. His car was already gone when I woke up at 4am to take a piss. He did leave us a note though."
You asked her what she meant by that.
She shoved her hand in her pant pocket and handed a crumpled piece of paper to you.
"I will visit at 6pm, please take care of (name) for me. -Yves"
You asked where did she find this note.
"Next to the light switch in the living room" She cracked open an egg on her skillet.
You looked at the wall clock. It says 12:03pm
You have around 6 hours left before Yves comes back. There is nothing much to do in your house because the Internet runs at a snail's pace and there is no air conditioning. So you would be boiling in your room.
You think you're well enough to move around and you definitely do not want to spend time with your housemates.
You don't have to go to the university, since your exams are over and so are your classes for the semester. But all the study spots, including the library, have air conditioning.
#yandere#yandere oc#yandere male#tw yandere#yandere oc x reader#yandere x you#yandere concept#yandere x reader#male yandere oc x reader#oc yves#oc montgomery
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