#theyre doing in life bc i really want them to grow and be successful but i honest to god am not sure esp in kais case bc he feels so

[desertfragments]

weird to realize that kai is an alcoholic (he takes after his mom like that)

[valdrift]

as the end of 2024 has been getting closer ive been both dreading and anticipating the new year and its a feeling tht i really dislike lol (more under cut bc my rambling got way longer than i thought 😦)

like i moved out 2022 and its been amazing for both my mental health and growth as a person since being away from my family gave me the space to figure out what i want to do and how to. idk. live ? got medicated, developed better coping mechanisms, made great friends, etc. i mean im living with my friends rn and theyre like family and i just got licensed to be an lvt and its all great ! but the thing is that my bio family need me and thts probably the root of the issue

cus my family is dirt poor, like living on gov aid, and none of them can work so growing up i was always told how i needed to be successful to take care of them even though i had plenty of rich relatives and i always wondered why none of them bothered to help and decided to put all that responsibility on a kid ?? and i was pretty much raised into being my family's eventual caretaker. from 13-17 i used to be so angry/depressed/resentful about it and hated my family bc it felt like they robbed me of my agency but now, i cant blame them. im not saying they should have done tht to a kid but i understand why. theres a bunch of complicated legal things and other stuff i dont want to get into and my family are either old, disabled, or both and god knows my relatives arent going to help so its up to me yknow ? its why im moving back in with them by 2025 to take care of them. and i love my family, i really do even if i dont tell them bc we dont talk like that and we all know it anyways. my mom is such a strong person despite how everyone looks down on her and i want her to have nice things, i want my family to live in a house that is clean and not falling apart, i want my mom to not have to ever worry about working and to have time for herself bc shes been stuck caring for kids for half her life. i love my family, i want to take care of them, and im angry i never got a choice. family is complicated and i wish it was as easy as just going "i dont want this responsibility" but i know its not

i keep telling myself that this is just how things are supposed to be and im going to spend the rest of my life taking care of them and i thought i accepted it but theres still some small part of me thats reluctant. i know im never going to have a partner or romance bc my family is and always will be my first priority and ig thats sad but i really dont mind. and im not just saying that, like genuinely im fine being single, i dont need companionship and have never felt that loneliness. im just fine with my friends and i dont need anything more, it just kinda sucks i dont get that choice. the whole thing is kinda sad and ive been told as much but these are the cards life dealt me and better me than someone else i guess

truth is im kind of scared, it feels like my life has already peaked and being away from my family has been so freeing but its selfish and damn if i dont want to be selfish for just a little longer. but its hard when i can see my mom getting older and the house getting worse and im angry that this isnt as easy as it should be. this country is awful and the systems in place are cruel and makes life as difficult as possible for people of color, the poor, and disabled. i know i'll get over it and i'll be moving back in and helping them like i promised but i'm only 22. my relatives are acting like i'm wasting my life every second im not helping my family or working towards making 6 figures or whatever and i won't lie it's put doubts in my mind. but im only 22!!!! i dont know. maybe im being dramatic because honestly it could be worse and we're even lucky to have a roof over our heads and to even have a steady source of income no matter how little it is. ive never told anyone the last bit abt being scared and all that, i think its easier to type it than say it, and it also helps i dont have a face to yall and i dont have to look you in the eye. i dont know if ive ever shared this much or anything like this on here either lol. i dont know

tldr; do it scared i guess

[thesweetestdevotion]

CELEB READING: Hi! Could you do a reading on Jackson Wang’s future spouse? Since he had always express how he wants to settle down!

Hiya!! okay here we go!:

Jackson Wang Future Spouse Reading:

Disclaimer: tarot readings are for entertainment purposed only.

Dice: Sun, Virgo, 4th House

Tarot:

Personality: The World, Six of Swords Reversed, Page of Wands

this person seems like theyve reached some sort of success. They feel like whatever cycle they are in they have reached the end and are ready to begin a new adventure! I also feel a want to settle down, specifically settling down in a specific place/city/country. Maybe they have travelled often for work or other reasons, and they now feel like they want to stay somewhere long term! Overall they seem very settled and grounded, I also feel like they are a creative as well, though im not getting any specific messages about what that creative pursuit is. They have a youthful fiery energy! but they also seem like an analytical person that is able to make wise decisions about their path in life. I just keep seeing someone moving very fast. They could also be very skilled, and have more than one skill that they find pride in and like to show off.

Career: Strength, The Hermit Reversed, Nine of Wands

SO! i think they might work behind the scenes! could be that they are in the entertainment industry but they work cameras, makeup, management, etc... like theyre there but hidden from view. I think their career is very stressful and busy. they are always on the go go go! and i see they have the physical and mental fortitude to take on all those challenges! however they may be prone to overworking and to stress. I suddenly felt tired and tense in my throat chakra, so maybe they feel they cant fully express themselves at their work and it weighs on them heavily. I did say that they felt very skilled, but i also get the sense they may have been an apprentice of some sort? i think they work with their hands and do various tasks under guidance. but i feel they may be ending this apprenticeship and moving into a more stable position now!

Their Relationship: Ten of Cups, Page of Coins, Seven of Coins

Okay so.. literally what you said in your ask! theyre family oriented and willing to work to maintain that beautiful family life they have! With page of coins i see that maybe they will be learning a lot on how to build a family and this wisdom they gain together will only serve to strenghthen the relationship. Its basically what they both dreamed of, but it will take a lot of work to maintain it and nurture it! thankfully they both seem like the types to be able to handle it hehe

How They'd Meet: Judgement Reversed, Nine of Cups Reversed, Queen of Wands Reversed

So this might come after a heartbreak for either of them. either they lose someone or they start to lose hope that they will ever find the one. They will need to put aside the initial judgement between them though! im seeing that during their first meeting they might not be too open to each other in a romantic way, it could be they meet in a situation where theyre not able to connect in deeper manner. It could be at a gathering, bc the nine of cups also reminds me of a host and it being reversed gives me drunk vibes hehe so maybe its a party or a gathering, could be a club? I think this will introduce them to each others circles, and this is where theyll end up crossing paths again and again. Though i do sense they are very wary of each other at the beginning of their connection. This would obviously develop and grow over time and eventually become romantic. I think they are very similar and i really love this connection!

let me know your thoughts! i loved this reading! im not that familiar with jackson wang at all as ive only heard one or two of of his songs from when he was in got7, so i hope i hit the mark here hehe.

[acuar-io]

haii interview incoming about your ocs

If they were an animal what animals would they be?

Do they have any siblings? hows their relationship with family?

Where are they fromm? do they speak another language?

What's their biggest (stupidest) fear?

Favorite music genre/artist?

and last because im yapping away...are there any fun facts or deets about them youd like to share?

YAY OC ASK TIME!! I actually answered this on the app and tumblr poofed it. So im going to reanswer the questions again lol. Its going to be a long one so BUCKLE UP CUS HERE WE GO!

If they were an animal what animals would they be?

Sephtis would be a black cat 🐈‍⬛, Izara a bunny 🐇, Benny an otter 🦦 and I have really introduced him to the blog yet and gotten into his character, but Dante would be a dog 🐶 specifically a Jack Russell

2. Do they have any siblings? hows their relationship with family?

I love this question and I will get more into detail with all of my ocs in another post or in their character page (when i create one :3)

Sephtis has an older sister (three years older). They both have a good relationship with their mother, but a terrible one with their father. Their dad actually cut ties with them because they are both (according to him) "a disgrace to the company and family name" he ended up giving the company to their cousin because neither of them wanted to inherit their fathers company, nor cared about his business lol. Their father was never really there for them, their mother practically had a facade the entire marriage & fought so much for Seph and his sister to live "normal lives" as nepo babies (lol) they were pretty popular in school because of their bg which they hated. Their parents divorced Sephs senior year of hs and at that time is when his dad cut ties w him as well.

Izara is an only child. She has a good relationship with her parents. They're more on the traditional side & older people, so sometimes they dont see eye to eye, especially when she was in Junior High & High school. Izara's interests concerned them (literally just regular interests teenagers have that freak out ethnic parents bc they need theyre becoming demons or some shit lol) also didnt like that she loved art and wanted to be an artists/art curator. Eventually though, they understood that they cant control what their daughter does with her future and that is all up to her ( I think they left her alone more so because they realized she is successful in her art and modeling career).

Benny is the youngest of 4. He has 3 sisters. His relationship with his parents was really shitty growing up, sadly. He is gay & hes known that for his whole life. Having 3 sisters and being the only boy, he loved to play with dolls. His parents being very religious, seeing him play with dolls, was not something they liked. Even if he was just playing with his sisters. In school, he was bullied. There was name calling and rumors that spread around about him. His parents hated the rumors and name calling not because it hurt Benny, but because it makes them look like bad Catholics. Benny truly only had his sisters and other female friends by his side throughout school. It wasnt until high school where things seemed to change for the better. This especially were better because he had Sephtis. His parents have come around, but they def took their time to finally accept their son.

3.Where are they from? do they speak another language?

Sephtis is from Osaka, Japan (Mt. Komorebi) then moved to Los Angeles at age 4 (Del Sol Valley). He speaks English and Japanese!

Izara is from New York (San Myshuno), shes Ethiopian-American. She speaks English and Amharic.

Benny is from Quebec (have no idea what sim world would be considered Canada lol) He speaks French & English

What's their biggest (stupidest) fear?

Okay so Sephtis & Izara are afraid of movie characters LMAO Sephtis will forever be afraid of Kayako (The Grudge) movie he watched as a kid with his sister that scarred him as a child ksfkksfks. Izara specifically does not like the older Godzilla (model?? costume??) she thinks its ugly and creepy as fuck like literally nightmare looking ass creature. IS THIS NOT JUST CREEEPY TO U???

Ok I wouldnt say Benny's is stupid....hes afraid of bugs specifically roaches. I mean logically, hes bigger than them so he can step on them and kill them, but he just finds them super fucking gross that he cant bring himself to do that lol.

Favorite music genre/artist?

Sephtis' fave band is BUCK-TICK, Fave genre is Rock (I'll keep it broad because he loves a toe=ne of sub rock genres).

Izara's fave artist is PinkPantheress! For groups, she likes New Jeans, Aespa & Perfume (yes she listens to kpop/jpop). Fave genre is pop for sure!!

Benny's fave band are the cranberries!! fave genre is also rock, but he prefers alternative rock!!

and last because im yapping away...are there any fun facts or deets about them youd like to share?

Okay well, I want to share a little about Seph and Benny's relationship rq!! So they went to the same high school. Sephtis is a year older than Benny. Their paths didnt officially cross until Sephtis' senior year and Benny's junior year of high school. They met one day after school when it was raining, Benny didnt have an umbrella but sephtis did :) thats all ill say for now :3

[joelletwo]

(sets a timer) the exorcist postcanon lore i can remember off the top of my head

well the precanon is they were teenmarried in an impulsive haha jk unless 'lets run away from our restrictive homes' moment they immediately chickened out of post-signing the license. and then immediately the various inciting incident cracks in their teenage tenuously extended-grace-bc-theyre-lonely-w/o-peers ability to cooperate that happen as they become adults (seiji dad death-now new heir of the clan-eye attack, and whatever shuuichi's doing to get away that makes him go insane and become a celebrity in three years) makes them more or less lose contact and ignore the elephant in the room until canon. though seiji (and nanase) do poke fun about it sometimes and any time natoris like fucking hell i cannot let the paparazzi find out im legally married itll be a whole Thing can you please sign the divorce papers hes like hahaha what a funny joke shuuichi-san /_^ [mails them back folded into origami]

[various natsume-fueled char development we've disturbingly stayed kind of sort of on track for in recent arcs] -> matoba reconsiders his whole life and the fact that as an adult hes in total control of it and he kind of completely hates it. he wants a less black and white relationship w youkai he's forlornly looking thru the window at natsume and all his sick ass youkai friends. he gives up his eye to eye-eater to settle the matoba debt and (at least temporarily) quits his job and leaves the community and lives a life as just some weird-ass guy whos suddenly free to have hobbies (just picking up and trying whatever) and go to therapy and physically recover.

[per my fics] nanase uses this to get her favorite matoba child back into the picture and help them reconcile as seiji passes the clan back to [matoba sister. i have not reconsidered with shinobu i cant handle it kjsf] and they uncover some of the misunderstandings that drove them apart as kids

[also per my fics. NOW DEBUNKED I GUESS] when natori hears that matoba quit his job he seethes in anger bc FUCK he was gonna do that!!!!! now he cant!!!! but its an opening for them to reconnect and similarly patch up some misunderstandings or figure out where, now changed by time, they fit together differently and less conflictingly than before. natori has also been gently prodded by natsume into therapy and lots of outdoor hobbies where he can Find Inner Peace

i really still adore the idea of. matoba gets settled in his lonesome. um he adopts a youkai-seeing kid thats varyingly important i love her to pieces i cant get into that. read my fics look at our art. but matoba's got his own thing going on hes broadening his horizons in his new life. natori's happy to dip in and out but hes got ten million lives hes busy hes all over the place. they get back together but like. only strictly Share A Life in the typical sense like. in passing. irregularly. always keep in contact but theyre not like. moving in together. for a long time at least.

natori does lose his leg in a freak accident at random one day and he DOES keep the lizard afterwards. really important to me. he grows to love this guy. disabi/_^y 4 disabi🦎y

broad strokes. funny specifics:

matoba gets into doll restoration and has lots of pickling jars w body parts all over his place. natori spends lots of time in the woods lookin' at bugs as he gets fond of the gecko and learns more about geckos and then learns more about little guys in general. hes perfectly positioned to like. anthropology out the symbiotic relationships he discovers between insects and youkai. he writes an pseudonymous guidebook about this thats nichely successful and taken as whimsical fantasy

meanwhile sasada has never given up the goat on trying to prove youkai exist even tho her whole friend group wont admit it. i forget the details but she gets into the book and gets really into bugs to see if she can reverse-engineer the youkai side of the relationship without being able to see it. at some point meets natori thru natsume in just-some-guy capacity and finds out they both like bugs and they bond over that without her knowing hes the author. comedy of errors time ^_^

[xx-psych0-rabbit-xx]

i need your know your thoughts on fecto elfilis in general bc i lovelovelove your interpretation from what ive seen and i wanna see More So So Bad

AKSYSKJSKS YOU!!! YOURE GONNA MAKE ME BLUSHHH ok ok elfilis thoughts lets seeee

-ive already said this before but i very much go w the interpretation their mind worked like the fermi paradox dark forest theory:theyre extremely paranoid of any other life forms and they see them as nothing but threats to their survival, so they exterminate whole planets therefore conquering them, the good in them was essentially overshadowed by their severe self preservation urges, their failed attack on the forgotten planet and resulting consequences also served as cementing their paranoia that other species are inherently dangerous

-their origins are completely unclear to them and theyve never met another of their own species, they simply came to be one day, tbh growing up as a planet warping alien without anyone to give you an idea of what a moral compass is and whos dangerous and whos not is probably the root cause of them growing terrified of everything and seeing everyone as threats and deciding that means everyone has to die before they can even think of hurting them

-elfilis personality is weird in my view? theyre on a weird line between conscious and having no self awareness, specially when attacking, if actually given a standard healthy environment to fully form it in theyd probably be a bit similar to a (tad mean) child mindset for a while, that did however not happen so their mind ended up splitting in two because it couldnt handle it together anymore after the lab experiments (ayy i found a way to work more plural metaphors into the split), ig in a way you could see forgo and elfilin as the two ways elfilis could have resulted, one grew up in the lab surrounded by people who saw them as a test subject and entertainment source w elfilis memories and the other actually got to bond with others and be treated well

-they did however when lucid (for lack of a better term) (i mean i already headcanon forgo as psychotic so lizzie probably was too) have a bit of an ego issue with being overly confident in how many successful invasions they had done, those were very much power and safety fantasies to them at times

-they can communicate normally w full sentences! thats a forgo exclusive issue having to do w its brain mal forming from the eternity capsule screwing with its reformation and growth from the elfilis goop

-their "species" (its just them theyre the species) are immortal and fully asexual and aromantic, i think their thoughts on gender and pronouns would range from the "we use he/him for him but he doesnt really care" meme to "stop perceiving me i am going to kill you."

-the accident with them was kinda like if you put a hamster in the microwave but instead of exploding it melts into goo.and the result was also their whole ass identity split into two new ones.

-this isnt rly a lis headcanon but i just wanted to bring it up to explain the previous point:the way i see the entire "oops we split in half" accident is their body melted and split, elfilin spent most of that time after escaping as unconscious goop that very slowly throughout the years after the planets population ascended into the stars formed into the the child version of elfilis again, forgo is a deformed overgrown fetus because they tried rushing their body stability with the tube fluids, which instead trapped them as immediately conscious in stasis while their body was stuck expanding the fetus form and not becoming solid at all (i actually see that the reason its right ear is losing shape is because theyve begun straight up deteriorating from being in the tube fluids for over a century by that point)

-a consequence of going w the interpretation forgo and elfilis are separate is theres not much to say abt them bc theyre essentially a character exclusive to the games backstory since their identity died after splitting into two.i miss them </3

[james-fun-in-the-sunderland]

all main 4:

16, 35, 39, 44, 54, 62, 64, 69

for party q’s, u can either do just main 4 to answer or like full rebellion or like . main 4 pcs and npcs.. up 2 u!

omg hi zee 👋 obligatory link back to tha ask game post

16. What keeps them going?

Swords: not to be corny but hope and love :) she has hope that everything will work out in the end and is also very driven by the people around her!! helping them out, giving them hope in hopes that theyll give her the hope she needs in return almost... w2 moments

Wiz: WHAT DOES KEEP THIS GUY GOING????? LACK OF DEATH MAINLY I GUESS. and moreso honestly... its because of his inability to really genuinely step away from any self imposed duty that he has. if he has obligation, even if he REALLY doesnt want to do it, he will do his best to see it through to the end. sometimes these obligations are self made tho and thats where some issues crop up bc people are like u dont have to . and hes like I HAVE TO. but i will complain the entire time bc god i wanna just chill instead.

Daggers: the belief that one day she will figure everything out, things will make sense to her, she will get the love that she deserves, and she will be happy... even if she does get this though theres not much holding her back from not believing it and keeping going... shes a bit selfish but thats ok thats fun hehe. I think one day she will get it and be satisfied and then what will keep her going is ... keeping that up. u kno? gotta hold up appearances

Hook: justice. genuinely and truely, they want justice for the world and for themselves and for their brother. previously before the pcs got their brother back to them it would have been u kno, getting their brother back but now theyre like ok revenge time. i want everyone who made me suffer to suffer now thanks . they will not rest until the rebellion is successful and them and their brother can get nice little cottages out in the mountains and live happily :) no fear of anything ...

aaaand im putting the rest under the cut bc otherwise this post WILL be a million miles long

35. Do they consider themselves childish/mature for their age?

Swords: mature! she thinks shes more mature than most people she meets, the only exception would be any mentor figures in her life, like you know, henrietta, her grandmother, etc. but generally if she meets someone shes like i know more and am more mature than u. this especially applies to those in the rebellion

Wiz: he likes to think mature, or even just like on equal footing w people around his age, but he knows hes childish for his age :( really the only person he really genuinely thinks hes more mature than is his brother and even with him hes like 'ok but thats mainly bc i literally am older than him'. wiz has issues ✌

Daggers: mature, she puts on a front that seems more childish and naive but inside shes like all you bitches are so childish i care about REAL iissues. like . how i am soso mentally ill and have issues. and the govt and the world. sooooo im more mature.

Hook: TBH, hook doesnt rly think theyre childish OR mature for their age, they find themself on pretty equal footing no matter who theyre talking to bc theyre like pretty casual and prefer to like have equality between ppl theyre talking to and like dont care at all about filling in roles, like being more of a mentor figure OR being someone who is menteed you know? but theyre mature for their age, especially when they were a child, growing up on the streets with no parents and a little brother will do that to you ✌

39. What does your character believe their party lacks?

Swords: For the rebellion well . its a little obvious, theres no real direction to it still!! most of the other things the rebellion lacks though has recently been fulfilled since the pcs came back and picked out a lil hq location :) theres also a part of her that thinks the rebellion without henrietta will always be lacking something and all of that but shes !! working on it !!

Wiz: also thinks the rebellion lacks a clear direction, and that it lacks people who genuinely care about the cause and arent just doing this to puppet the old rebellions corpse to get it to success. hes WORKING on the direction part. being the leader and all . but its still hard since there is no real unified vision of the rebellion anymore, just anecdotes of the old one. Wiz would rather the rebellion either not exist at all or that people forgot about the old one. too bad its almost a requirement that the old rebellion be brought up and people from it to join for the success of this one <3

Daggers: being that she hasnt ever had experience being in a group like this before, idk if she has much of a thought on what it lacks! maybe people that focus more on details instead of the big picture, which is how it feels rn, everthings kind of vague and depersonalized, which worked back when it was small but now its getting bigger and people might get lost in all of this bustle... u kno?

Hook: basically a conglomerate opinion of all the previous ones. Hook honestly doesnt care too too much about the rebellion as a whole, and mainly just hopes that it never lacks the ability for the to have some independence, that they can do what they need to do and nobody will hold them back.

44. How do they hold onto people?

this is such an interesting q... many ways to interpret this...

Swords: GUILT!!!! swords is pretty openly a manipulator honestly when it comes down to this. its not even conscious honestly. she doesnt want people to ever leave her bc it makes her feel a bit worthless and stuff so she just tries her best to make sure people stick around :) in whatever ways she possibly can ! this all only really happens if she can tell people are like distancing themselves from her tho btw.. otherwise its business as usual!

Wiz: honestly. by being dependable. wiz only really knows how to exist when its deferential to another person. its partially why him being the leader has sucked but this also means that should he be shoved, he will get stuff done. and he knows that people need people who can get stuff done, thus making him kinda indispensable. kinda manipulative but ummmm u guyys dont even know he . is . a little bit lmao . (btw this is also why he was a terrible brother <3) (also regardless of whether wiz likes someone or not, he tends to try and hold onto them... kinda cringe)

Daggers: by trying her best to be loveable. trying to mold herself into someone desireable that people will see as attractive and worthy of their time and attention. this model is mostly based on her sister who managed to hold the entirety of her family but its . not successful at all <3 but that doesnt mean she wont stop trying to be her inauthentic self until her identity is purely based on what she thinks others enjoy. though, if she doesnt like someone, she wont try too hard to hold onto them

Hook: by taking care of them, chilling with them... being a good friend :) you can usually tell if they like you because theyll chill around u like a cat... and also like bring u thngs... again like a cat... theyre not too dissimilar from how wiz does but in a less like... deferential way and more of a parental way almost? it can ofc become deferential tho, and in most times if hook wants someone to like them, they will become very sort of... not subserviant but like... very obviously only doing things that will make them liked by that person and not caring much about themself? more selfless than selfish ! much like daggers, but going even farther, if hook knows someone doesnt like.. want to be held onto then they will let them go...

54. What is something they currently look forward to? What is something they dread?

Swords: shes looking forward to having the PCs back around and also getting this rebellion together!! shes excite to see where everything gets taken and their future victories, of course that also comes with the absolute dread of failure, of death and destruction happening to those she loves... so :)

Wiz: YOU GUYS ALREADY KNOW WHAT HES DREADING!! but for people who arent in this dnd game, wiz is soooososoo anxious abt his recent sudden multiclass into cleric bc he hates divinity and gods and everything and is like if i got possessed by a god its all over . and right when i was actually trying to be a good leader too 😭 I will say tho.. he is looking forward to the rebellion... maybe working out and having more people around... new people to meet and chat with... the pcs to be around and be silly... also he missed daggers <3

Daggers: She is looking forward to having more people around that she is much more familiar with, being able to chill after a long hard two missions in a row, and to be able to like... process everything in a more healthy way and like... u kno, having a support system instead of people she barely knows and who she knows dont like her very much... i think she is dreading a little bit like... actually moving past this all though? like who is she going to be when she actually moves past her grief and her fear of death and feeling like genuinely yes she is not a bad person for having accidentally killed someone... who will she be... shes a bit unsure and a bit nervous of that...

Hook: hook WAS looking forward to seeing their brother finally for the first time in like 10 years but then it happened and it was great!!! so now theyre looking forward to the past... looking forward to the rebellion being put together like it was before and being able to help people, fix things, be useful and not only to their siblings or to their friends! theres more people around, more things to do, more stuff to just get into... its gonna be fun ^-^ but i do think they dread losing people, probably are going to be very on people about like .. fortifying the hq so theres no chance they could lose their brother or anyone they care about ever again !!

62. Who does your character think is the most put together in the party?

Swords: in the rebellion? herself. She thinks shes mature, prepared, experienced, etc etc... the only thing is that if shes ever like... prodded on this or have to actually SHOW that shes most put together she will crumple <3 in the PCs party..... rushi probably! reminds her of her grandmother who was a big mentor figure in her life and so shes like :) she has it all under control :)

Wiz: in the rebellion........ probably nobody. in the pcs party ALSO NOBODY 🥳 he 1- has trust issues and 2- is very cynical and pessmistic, so not only is he like nah i dont think anyone really has it together, but he doesnt TRUST that anyone does. If you stretch . maybe at most he thinks jacques and talfryn both have something, but even then wiz is like theyre YOUNG theyll make dumb mistakes that show they have NOTHING together... but yea

Daggers: in the rebellion, wiz! shes very much like... hes the leader... ofc he has everything toegther... plus u know, hes a paternal figure to her and that makes her VERY biased in who she thinks to go to for anything or even just like... thinking about whos got it together. in the PCs party, probably talfryn. he reminds her of her older brother whos probably one of the most successful people in her family, plus hes got some like very good self assurance that really show her that hes got things under control.

Hook: in the rebellion....... themselves. and in the PCs party, nobody probably? I think that much like wiz, hook is a bit cynical, plus although they dont really show it, they are a bit self assured, they know what they can deal with, what they can do, and dont really trust that other people know that of themselves and that theyll easily overextend themselves u kno?

64. What is one thing they want each party member to know?

Swords: in the rebellion.... 🤔 probably she desperately wants daggers to know that she doesnt hate her, that she doesnt have any ill will towards her and in fact, would like her and hang out w her if she wasnt soooo touchy about things. in the PCs.... probably wants all them to really know that she wants to b closer to them and like appreciates them... i think swords really doesnt think people GET how much she apprecates them... or like enjoys their presence...

Wiz: in the rebellion..... you know what, i think both in the rebellion and in the PCs he wants people to know that he . is so sorry for being a lil shit <3 he doesnt really like ... talk in an earnest way so really any earnest feelings he has he would like people to know about and i think right now hes just like man. this could have been happening way earlier if i just had chilled out. like he doesnt recognize his mistakes in the moment and will often defend them but god forbid he actually apologize after the fact, he wishes he could just BEAM the knowledge of these apologies and everything into peoples minds.

Daggers: I think for both the pcs and the rebellion she probably would want them to know about her... to understand her in some kind of way so theres no real confusion when talking to them, and so maybe theyll be able to fully point her in the right direction when it comes to advice and stuff, bc she feels like ppl dont really truely KNOW her... or know HER u kno?

Hook: honestly . hook wishes that people would just . know how to communicate with them. im sure its probably really frustrating dealing with the PCs bc they have to do a less direct way of talking to them (through typing on their phone) bc like while theyre fast at typing they find it easier to just SIGN. and as far as the rebellion, they want wiz and probably swords too to know that theyre not like . going anywhere... even tho they have their brother back, theyre still there for wiz and swords... still able to be friends with them u kno?

69. Journey or Destination?

Swords: Journey! a very big believer in the whole dont cry because its over smile because it happened person, this isnt to say that she DOESNT cry because its over of course, she gets sad about the idea of the rebellion ending but is excited about it being successful! but ... of course she still does enjoy the thrills of victories and having people to support her through losses... etc... so she likes the journey more ^-^

Wiz: Journey, wiz dreads the destination always. the journey is more fun and everything is somewhat more stable somehow, but the destination is when everything ends, everyone goes home and the show is over.

Daggers: Destination, she values results more than what gets those results. plus most of the time she just finds journeys to be tedious and wants for any suffering to be over with immediately!! shes sick of it!! but also shes addicted to it so <3 even tho she desires the destination she may never get it bc she will always look for the destination u kno?

Hook: Destination, they just want to chill . please . plus journeys are dangerous and people do bad things and they do bad things and its just BAD. can we get to the part where we're all drinking margaritas with little umbrellas on the beach now? pls?

[trolagygirl2022]

i think people are so quick to disagree with a song when it changes too much from the groups usual sound. theres still songs or groups i dont dislike but i dont love ie: gidle wife wasnt to my liking and i have some icks about some of their lyrics or the overall songs itself. however that shouldnt be a reason to trash the shit out of these groups online. why cant people just say they dislike something and move on with their life?

social media is ruining kpop and fan bases imparticular are so toxic nowadays that i just have to admire the groups from afar cause i dont want to be shitted on for having differing opinions or views about things i like or dont like. i also think online people have become so used to overreacting for no real reason esp when its something they do not like nor agree with. ur telling me that idols who do so much personal content for their fans arent going to at least hate it if they get cancelled for uttering something the fans didnt like or agree with?

i often wonder if these groups would have had success if they didnt have to use social media cause i think that hinders so much of the members feelings towards certain aspects of their lives. like the fan calls which can both be good and bad depending on the circumstances. either way im indifferent if kpop is trying different sounds then good for it, its not going to be everyones taste imho. but abain the internet seems to go into a meltdown at about just anything relating to kpop or general celebs.

i also feel that kpop is less about having varied age ranges thus the ypunger the groups the younger the audiences are going to be and therefore the audiences arent really going to be genuinely mature, when young audiences see their faves doing s disservice theyll cancel tnem one day then worship them the next so its like idols cant win. i think its okay to critique comebacks too but from a musical aspect not a ahhh theyre using someone elses culture aspect cause thats shit for the groups who work hard for their success and culture is to be shared and that includes music. its like would they gatekeep kpop bc its too foreign sounding? no theyd overreact.

i also think it has a lot to do with double standards in kpop as a whole, girl groups get shitted on, boy groups get worshipped on for doing next to nothing different than what they usually do. but jeez kpops has got worse due to its ever growing fan bases and the overall high expectations fans place on these groups and idols. every comeback isnt going to wow everyone and thats okay to admit.

i wanted to add as well that people seem to look for anything online to do with kpop and make a scene about it all for no good reason. but idols to encourage unhinged or even delusional behaviour (ahem bangchan) out of their fans soooo its both parties doing really as neither are better than the other side.

sorry for my essay but yeah so many things just been so annoying to witness.

very very VERY true!

[rickriordanfandam]

opinions on riordanverse ; my edition

a lot of people have been doing this so i decided why not right. probably gna lose some followers or smth but anyways. pls respect my opinions! if u disagree, thats fine, but please be polite. unless any of my opinions strikes u as morally wrong then pls point it out to me respectfully. thanks!

- i actually liked drew. im so sorry to everyone who hates her but full offence, why. think about it this way ok, first of all drew became hc because silena died. silena was the traitor, the one who betrayed chb, yet after she died campers celebrated her as a hero? and then drew suddenly has to replace her and live up to idk that legacy she left behind,, when all of a sudden this girl named piper swoops in and takes her place. idk abt u but i wld be salty abt that too. not only that, but as an asian, the chances of drew having faced racism/bullying as a child is pretty high (she studies at brooklyn academy). which means that when she finds out shes a demigod, and arrives at chb where most of the campers are white (this is an assumption btw), she’d obviously be scared of being bullied for her skin color right?? so the first thing she wld do before the campers get to bully her is to bully them before they can do so. (sentence structure here is wack i apologize) ofc this might not even have happened, drew could have had a perfect childhood && was a b1tch for no reason, BUT EVEN THEN HER ROLE AS A BULLY WAS PRETTY VITAL BECAUSE THAT FURTHER SHOWED THE CONTRAST BETWEEN HER AND PIPER,, HIGHLIGHTING PIPER AS A HERO//GOOD CHARACTER,, AND THEREFORE MAKING READERS LIKE PIPER MORE. anyway stop hating on drew please. ALSO WHY IS THIS SO LONGA SDFJHG

- jason isnt bland, the fandom just kinda erased his backstory (thanks to @pjohoo-memes for the phrasing lol)

- reynabeth wouldnt have lasted/would have broken up several times. idk i just see them as two extremely powerful characters who have firm opinions and will definitely clash at some point. in a platonic relationship,, i can see them as really good friends but as lovers? idk i just think theyll break up

- PIPABETH

- i dont really like jercy,, i see them as better friends than lovers. also idt jason and percy were that close..?

- the dam and not my type jokes are srsly cringey and were never funny. ik that seems hypocritical since my username literally makes use of the dam joke but honestly i dont actually like the joke. its not funny to me and has never been funny

- the seven were not best friends. they definitely argued,, and honestly probably werent as close as the fandom makes them seem. like ure dumped with 6 other people, out of which u only know a few. my introverted ass would have jumped off the argo 2 quicker than leo valdez could bomb camp jupiter up. also leo was a dick to frank. so what if frank is bigger sized?? thats not a valid reason to tease him

- the fandom needs to stop hating on octavian while worshipping luke. if u hate luke and u say u hate octavian too, then okay. but if u tell me ure a luke stan but u despise octavian?? imma disagree w u. luke was worse than octavian im sorry. first of all, octavian being a dick was kinda justified. hes been after the praetor position for so long, and everyone keeps saying to “wait for jason” when suddenly this dude, whos a son of NEPTUNE (neptune wasnt liked much by romans), and the camp decides to make him praetor?? dude i would be pissed off big time. and then afterwards, he finds out that greek demigods are real and the dude they made praetor is greek. AND THEN GREEK DEMIGODS COME TO CJ AND ONE OF THEM BOMB IT UP?? octavian has been told all his life that greeks are scum and this dude called leo valdez attacks cj. sure it was an accident, but did octavian know that? no. so it was honestly justified that he was such a salty prick im just saying. also some of yall be hating on octavian for cutting a teddy bear open and thats the funniest shit ive ever heard i swear 

- luke didnt go to elysium

- travis and connor stoll r way too underrated. the two have been head counselors of the hermes cabin since luke was revealed as a traitor, can u imagine the stress? luke, the person they probably looked up to as a brother, betrayed them. and they didnt even have time to process this when they were  thrown the roles of being hcs. that would have been so stressful and i would probably have broken down if i were them. the stoll brothers taking turns to wake up at ungodly hours because a new camper is crying and homesick and terrified, the stoll brothers having to comfort and take care of new campers, having to deal with the amount of people in that cramped space because not enough campers are being claimed fast enough. having to resolve issues between campers in the hermes cabin all the time. the stolls arent just comedic relief, and we need to stop treating them as such

- tratie shldve been canon idc idc

- demigods of the demeter cabin arent talked about enough and i love the fact that meg was demeters kid. like she isnt the child of one of the big three yet shes so powerful.

- we need to hype clarisse up more her character arc was phucking amazing 

- rachel is overhated. sis found out greek gods exist and regularly come down to earth to fuck around and went “ok cool”. queen shit behavior methinks

- the floor 19 crew of mcga is srsly underrated. like do u even remember halfborn gunderson, mallory keen, tj, etc??? bc i feel like we only remember samirah, magnus, alex, and sometimes blitz and hearthstone

- sadie (tkc) was kinda annoying at first. i like her more now tho but i rmb not liking her for a phat while

- tkc and mcga need more love

- carter kane and jason grace arent boring. theyre just really sweet boys who are too good for this world and yes yes yes 

- hazel and frank (especially frank) need to be hyped up more. i hardly ever see anything about them. also yall seem to forget that frank was literally made praetor and that even hecate admired hazel and was willing to fight beside her because of how powerful she was

- frazels age gap is kinda sketch but i still think theyre really cute

- nico definitely had trauma from going to tartarus on his own

- GROVER IS PERCYS BEST FRIEND

- annabeth isnt smarter than leo but neither is leo smarter than annabeth. ive seen a lot of discussions about who is smarter and heres my hot take on it: neither. theyre equally smart, just in different ways. leos a genius mathematically speaking. he has no issues solving math problems meant for people much, much older than him. annabeth on the otherhand, is great at strategies etc. she can make an army of 1000 more powerful than the enemy, even if theyre outnumbered. so in my opinion, both are equally as smart//u cant compare their intelligence, because their talents lie in two different areas.

- while i do agree rick riordan isnt a god and that hes bound to make mistakes,, AND that hes given us a lot of representation,, if the representation offends the people its sposed to represent, then theres a problem. im talking about piper as a poc and wearing feathers in her hair. im not a poc, so i cant speak for them on whether or not its wrong, because i dont know either. HOWEVER, i have seen multiple posts BY pocs talking about how they didnt really like rick’s representation of piper, and thats an issue. pocs have been and are still oppressed and discriminated against by many. as a white cis man, we cant really blame him for not knowing (tho he could have done a research,, asked some pocs,, idk), but by representing pocs in that manner, hes influencing impressionable kids/teens into thinking “oh pocs wear feathers in their hair all the time” etc, which isnt true. the pjo/hoo series is extremely successful, and kids who read the books will probably start forming inaccurate opinions on pocs. the amount of fan art that depicts piper with feathers in her hair dont help either. “but rick said so in the books, so its canon” yeah well rick isnt a god and he can get some things wrong at times. im not saying we should cancel him, im saying we should start educating ourselves and not spread false info like pocs wearing feathers in their hair all the time. also that snake song shit where she sang Summertime was just- yeah. bc heres the thing you can be racist, and still include minorities, but portray them in a racist way. And even then, ignorance isn't a thing to admire. Getting those facts wrong still has a major impact. It continues to perpetuate racist stereotypes.

“ With the feather thing, I looked it up myself; it takes less than five minutes to figure out that Cherokees don't braid feathers into their hair. I didn't grow up in the country where my parents are from. I have many other first/second generation American friends who have also been through that, with a bit of a disconnect from their culture. But something that most of us have in common is that when we didn't know something, and when our parents weren't that big of a help, we looked it up. We sought out resources online and through other people from our culture to be able to connect more with where we came from. Some of that took a Google search. So I find it hard to believe that Piper, a girl who Rick's trying to portray as someone who is attempting to connect with her culture and is totally against racist stereotypes, wouldn't know that eagle feathers aren't supposed to be braided into your hair casually. She may be disconnected from her culture, but she's also shown to want to connect back to it. Piper wouldn't be casually braiding feathers into her hair while also telling off people for being racist. It makes no sense.” - reddit thread (down below) 

for those of yall who wanna know more please please read this, it has a lot of things i wanna add in here : https://www.reddit.com/r/camphalfblood/comments/gy3gl2/piper_mcleans_portrayal_is_innacurate/ 

as well as https://finding-my-culture.tumblr.com/post/189422373260/maxie-ratties-and-cattie-finding-my-culture 

i will be posting screenshots of these in future posts so if ure viewing this on ig and u dont have tumblr,, dont worry 

- the fact that most of the strong female characters in the series refuse to be “girly”, and ngl i dont really like that. just because ure girly doesnt mean u cant be strong. 

- piper would have been a great way for him to start making the strong characters act girlier, but instead he went with the “I’m not like other girls” trope which is quite obnoxious to hear constantly, and I don’t think it’s necessarily great for younger girls to read that idea growing up.  the closest we've ever had to a strong female character who was also into "girly" things was Silena. when I was younger I admired Piper's "I'm not like other girls" thing, but then I got older and realized that the whole mentality of "not like other girls" is super obnoxious, and a little bit toxic

i have a heck load more that i cant rmb rn but yeah feel free to add more 

[normal-thoughts-official]

magnus is this notorious pirate famous in the caribbean with everyone talking about him because of how successful he is. his quartermaster is definitely raphael (his care for his clan and how he cares for others solidifies this thought process) and their ship has some corny name that raphael pretends to hate but definitely loves. europe thinks that magnus and his crew are demons(racists fucks) meanwhile theyre out here being nerds who enjoys navigating the seas and ruining racists job prospects+

+cat and ragnor live on nassau with magnus bringing back supplies they sell(we love the blackmarket here). the lightwoods are brought into this world bc their parents send them off to nassau to try and expand the family's business and gain profit off of this lawless place which refuses to be governed by anyone. malec meets at like the local inn where maia works at also where izzy meets her and by association The Polycule)and is just attracted to each other right then and there with bad flirting. once they become settled in, alec and izzy becomes like disillusioned with following what their parents expect of them and start to actually do what they wish. because he's dramatic, alec probably asks ragnor who settled down from pirating for more lessons in sword fighting (hes not unexperienced but theres a difference from fighting on land and on water)

eventually magnus hears about this cue them dramatically learning how to fight on like this cliff top with their swords connecting (we love euphemisms for sex) and them bonding over magnus' book collection he has and them no longer doing what their parents expect of them (im imagining asmodeus as this well traveled trader or something who only cares about money rather than having humanity) and even though magnus is this pirate which is a profession that the "civilized world" looks down on, he's like the epitome of actually having morals and caring about people (pirates were known to drastically impact the slave trade as they often freed slaves and let them join their crew or they worked directly with maroons and indigenous people). 

i imagine their first kiss to be when theyre training and someone has a sword pressed against the others neck because theyre horny bastards and they accept only the dramatics. their proposal/matelot is potc levels of dramatic with them fighting an enemy crew alongside The Polycule(the most badass and queer crew out there) and like halfway through alec is just like marry me and then next thing they know it raphael is officiating their marriage around dead people before they go on to have a better and more planned out wedding on shore (had to get some of this out now before i went too deep, The Poycule is definitely something i paid attention to most considering how big and complex the group is)

ugh not to add to an already huge post but

you are totally right about raphael being his quartermaster! raphael is a great leader and he cares so much for his people and he is one of the few people magnus obviously trusts, even as they have their differences. only other person i could imagine as magnus' quartermaster would be cat but like! raphael is perfect for the job! also i love the idea that he pretends to hate the corny name, he has to pretend to hate magnus' puns and jokes on principle but really he loves it

also "meanwhile they are all nerds" accurate, the whole ship is just a whole mess of people having fun and being family we love that for them

and ok not to slut for the polycule but i'm slutting for the polycule i just. aaa want to know so much more about them. i know you said they were already with maia but idk i can see many of them being part of magnus' crew? especially meliorn and tbh clary lmao she seems the type who would love adventure like that (i'm going with fanon clary here mostly) and i can see simon in both but i can also definitely see simon being in the inn with maia (god i have a half baked au that includes that) because being in the sea all day? no thank you. and they are just this nice local couple that helps all the pirates because fuck the racist law

also it's hilarious because they are so warm and welcoming and the lightwoods get there and simon is like "oh-oh. incoming" and maia is all like "what the fUCK do you want"

which lowkey backfires because izzy is just like "oh she's so fierce, i love her" and is already like, halfway in love doing the head tilt and huge grin thing (she's not creepy about it, just like, she likes it, you know? especially because in this AU izzy was raised as a Rich Girl so she's expected to be all that fragile useless white woman ideal and yada yada and she's not here for that so she's attracted to the idea of women like clary and maia)

and just like ghhgggghhh not to slut but i love the idea that they are in the inn and meliorn raphael and possibly clary are always in the sea so like! sweet reunions! not that they are usually going super far lmao mostly just stopping the slave trade and protecting the caribbean and shit, but that's a few months in between visits and i picture that at some point when they are getting to nassau raphael is just like, vibrating (you know, as much as he allows himself to) and magnus just smiles knowingly, happy that his boy has found people he's so happy with

and raphael getting into the inn and being like "simon! maia!" and simon and maia being like "raphael! meliorn!" and just crashing into this big group hug and it's all laughs and meliorn twirls maia and she giggles and simon kisses raphael's cheek and is all worried about them both (plus clary) because god what the fuck kind of shit did they get into this time, are they hurt? if he's broken another leg he's gonna- and raphael laughs and says "no, cariño, i promise all i have with me are gifts" because he's not gonna travel the caribbean and not bring stuff for his partners. so it's him and meliorn showering maia and simon in gifts and pretty and maybe stolen things (maia in particular takes such great joy in learning that her pretty new bracelet belonged to some racist bitch) like spoils you know? lmao, and looking at them it's like they haven't seen each other in years or something but no it's been like a month and it's always like that

and alec and izzy are just watching that, mouths slack, shocked, but highkey yearning for something as free as that, that loving family and that open love and meliorn's genderfuckery and just everything about them! and alec "conceal don't feel" lightwood is kind of frowning and goes "are they always like that?" to which magnus, behind him, answers "yes" and then he turns around and they stare at each other and magnus quickly goes from "happy for my boys" to "hello tall person" in a matter of seconds and is suddenly all seductive and flirty and alec is having the time of his life? especially since here away from the lightwoods he can allow himself just a little bit, and letting a guy flirt with him can't hurt, right? he knows izzy won't tell their parents. so he engages

cue terribly bad flirting, izzy smiling widely as she watches the polycule dynamics, highkey wanting something like that for herself, especially seeing the way that clary talks to maia all like "look at this SWORD" and all the adventures. and maia still doesn't trust her but apparently magnus has already hit it off with her brother so what the hell, they might as well stay

and just!! yes getting to know each other shenanigans. i picture that like the army gets there and tries to get magnus and his crew and alec and izzy are like running to them to warn them (alec not knowing quite why, he shouldn't be taking that big of a risk, he shouldn't be getting attached to a pirate - of whom he's only heard terrible things so far, thinks they are Evil basically - just because something about him is alluring and represents the freedom he doesn't allow himself to want, but... he is getting attached) and the whole gang is all like *very calmly heading to the secret hideout in their room* oh don't worry about that lmao they do this every week

and idk i just want a moment where they are almost found and alec and izzy lowkey save their ass (i mean they would have managed but they make it easier, maybe use the Privilege Card lmao). maybe the guards were closer than they thought so alec ends up just shoving magnus into the hideout and when the guards come in he's all like "WHO is interrupting our sleep" and acts like an entitled brat and they don't even search the room lmao and then alec runs to the hideout all "sorry that i pushed you, are you okay?" and magnus is all like "i'm fine" but a little touched about the care. just to establish that trust, you know? both between them and between izzy and the rest of the polycule

so after that it all kind of flows smoothly because they know they can genuinely trust the lightwoods and so it grows into something more. magnus and alec can bond over having Terrible Parents With Terrible Morals and they open up about their respective traumas with abuse, and alec confesses to magnus for the first time ever that he doesn't want to be like his parents, that he thought if maybe he earned their respect, he could change things from the inside. and magnus looks at him all soft and touched and is like "there's no changing things from the inside" and alec is like "i'm starting to realize that" you know

and yeah alec gets to see how much that crew cares for each other, way more than his "traditional family" ever could (except for him and izzy who are just as devoted to each other as the crew is, but like, it's honestly less the "blood relations" and more how they've always been there for each other as they handled their parents' shittiness) and again he's just yearning because he always believed he wouldn't get something like that. and magnus in particular is just so caring and just wants to make the world a better place, you know? and he admires that and they bond over that, too

and just jdhdaodshad god i love this. and meanwhile izzy is flirting with maia clary and meliorn like crazy and soon they are like this huge messy group with all those dynamics... and i just aaa and alec and izzy end up joining the crew and daiodsaiodjsaio RAPHAEL OFFICIATING THEIR WEDDING i'm genuinely all for that fucking shit, magnus wants his boy to do it for them and aaaaa! also i DEMAND raphael&meliorn fighting sequences because i bet they would make a bomb ass duo fighting back to back and shit, you know? bonus points if they are defending simon and maia who are behind them and just making sure no one touches them?? i live for this shit 

in short i love this and you said “get some out of your chest" so if there's more, then fuck, i can't wait to see it dahsdaijas i'm sorry for talking so much i get too excited

[macklives]

hey so this is gonna be a long-ish one. ive decided its been far too long since i did a session, and we did so many i can often forget what happened. i started in july and im pretty sure its been more than half a year now since this whole blog happened. and in that time, we’ve gone through 88 sessions and i want to know if i remember the relevant plot points and what we got up to in the last few sessions. a refresh/reminder if you would.

so i hereby commence my own little recap of act 5 because yeah no, its too much to do a recap of everything and i have andrew for that after every few acts. but i wanna refresh my mind on act 5 for now. so here we go.

1. alternia.. fucked up place. but its a place the trolls live on so what are we gonna do about it? overthrow the government? seems about right, lets do that with the next troll that gets introduced and if its not kanaya idk what andrew is doing by not having introduced the best troll yet. why the long wait? it was the second introduced? i honestly expected it to go in order when i first read act 5, because first we had karkat talk to jade which was the first new piece dialogue in the comic besides the main kids, but then we had kanaya with rose, which was followed by tavros, then terezi (iirc). so id assume we were following that order but nope karkat got fully introduced, then this random fucking juggalo called gamzee made its way into the comic. imagine my surprise.

2. theres been terminology throughout act 5, that i do not fucking know and will not remember and probably never will. like tf is a perigee again? i made a doc somewhere ill probably find it.

3. karkat’s introduction... short but very sweet. and by sweet i mean we got to know the depths of the angry edge lord. and by depths i mean karkat got angry at gamzee for typing in a way that he didnt like so he yapped like a chihuahua. nah, but seriously, i do like karkat tho, hes growing on me but only bc hes a bitch baby and his whole personality makes me want to mock him so thats the reason im not that annoyed and think hes funny, and the most harmless troll. even more so than tavros. and thats saying something. 7.5/10 bc im generous.

4. then gamzee... the high juggalo troll who has the worst typing quirk imo, i cannot for the life of me read it. but hes chill, i actually really like gamzee. hes funny and the least problematic as of right now. 8.5/10.

5. terezi’s introduction next i think. she likes playing as a lawyer with her stuffed dragons, ie by roleplay, shes blind, can see through licking, and she likes eating chalk, maybe its even nutritious. shes good. 9/10. 

6. uhh in the process of these intros, there are teams being made? karkat joins gamzee and terezi in, i THINK, the red team?? bc terezi likes red?? could be wrong, i dont remember the teams except that its red/blue to represent sollux’s duality in those colors. terezi then tries recruiting AC but AC is like lol sorry i have to ask this friend of mine who has authority over me for some goddamn reason and terezi goes yuck tf i hate that guy................... yeah thats all we have on the teams. pretty sure sollux had smth to do with karkat about the making of the leaders, and they did the “i hate me” and the “no i hate me more than u hate u” or whatever the fuck that was. they got embarrassed afterwards and deleted their messages. im pretty sure they have no messages because everything ends up being mutually deleted so their logs are actually empty. ngl, kinda enjoyed their convos, made me appreciate their characters. i hope we get more because its good content. i also dont know what order this whole thing is in, who contacted who first? couldnt tell you. ill remember later on. and since im basing this off from memory alone, gotta deal with what i remember. uhhhh so yeah. we havent met all characters yet so the teams have not been officially decided but we got the bases, which is that.

7. god i found it, and the only thing im looking at right now is the terminology list i made and what the fuck?? what the fuck?? you miss a few weeks and suddenly the word nubslurping comes up and you forget what the fuck youre reading.

8. im PRETTY SURE aradia is seen after that whole team fiasco?? or its sollux... maybe. wait. its sollux, right. i just knew someone gets introduced mid way through is all. actually, someone gets introduced after every 20 pages. i have no idea. but ik aradia and sollux go hand in hand.

9. oh shit. OH SHIT! RIGHT! I REMEMBER! so this occurs in the latest session i did, and not the beginning of act 5, but AG and aradia team up, right?? and sollux fucking gets manipulated by them and ??? idk??? they make him find the game, reprogram it and then make him believe its going to end the world (which in hindsight is true, but anyways) so he refuses to play it which was AG’s plan all along so she steps up and becomes leader in his place. but aradia says sollux will still play the game no matter what, but she never went through with the plan for AG but it was apart of a prophecy? that sollux wouldnt be the leader at all? that he’d still play? but it had to go according to plan so it could succeed??? we just dont know why yet. anyways, point being, she still cares for sollux since she did it for him rather than for AG. and thats what i recall. god tf i forgot about that whole drama until writing down “sollux and aradia go hand in hand” which gave me violent flashbacks to the memory.

10. oh and id give aradia 9/10 and sollux 7/10. i do like sollux but if i put him higher than karkat, id get crucified. so im keeping them around the same.

11. man i really like sollux and aradia tho, i may have put him at 7, but i really like their dynamic and i really hope they make up and aradia explains herself about AG. because from one side it looks shitty. and while sollux is rude and never makes up his mind, he apologized to aradia after going off, and that was the only time ive seen him be sincere, so im pretty sure he cares for her to some extent. and i think its somewhat mutual? considering the whole “did it for him” thing. man, i see potential because i actually like both their characters. theyre well written. may not have the best personalities, but i appreciate well written characters and homestuck has the best ones ive seen in a while.

12. oh shit, hell yeah, the more i write, the more im connecting the dots and remembering. however, the more i write, the more i want to just make an analogy post but thats not for now. jesus christ its not all about analogies, mack, this is a recap. but.. how does andrew do it? to not go off track??? hard. telling ya.

13. anyways, didnt we break the fourth wall at some point and have the demon gods or whatever the fuck speak to us in third person for the first time in the comic, after having only gone into second person narrative, right after we were introduced to sollux and his “virus”? the uh, the phrase “the demon was already here” was said, or something along those lines. first line in homestuck to give me the creeps ngl and i appreciate it bc it gives me motivation to know what the fuck its about. its cool bc you have no idea where its going and it sure doesnt have anything to do with the current plot, since the trolls’ session/game doesnt have fucking demons so im curious as to what the fuck that was about. and if i really have to make a theory, i feel it has something to do with aradia’s voices in her head which also connect to the gods rose heard when she started disregarding rules and told dave to look at derse without listening to music bc it was as if he was purposely blocking away their calls. like holy shit, that gave me the shivers. while i do want to know more about wtf happens after act 4, trolls are taking priority right now. just like we did with the intermission. no discussing the kids unless necessary. treat this as its own separate comic. and THEN we can connect.

14. ANYWAYS, tavros’ intro???? that comes afterwards?? with the fiduspawn that made me gag a little on the inside? yep. remember that. fuck that lol. -1/10 but tavros himself is MAYBE a 6/10? i wish we explored his character more in his intro bc right now he just looks like a character made only to be a victim rather than have any depth and i feel thats robbing someone of their full potential. give me more personality andrew, rather than a quivering boy who falls prey to bitches. im expecting more throughout the comic honestly and i hope he gets growth so hes not looked as a “victim” but rather his own character. he is still sweet, and i like him because i want to protect him, but id rather have more info, you know what i mean?

15. oh hell. kanaya had a chainsaw at some point. that made me happy. and didnt she cut off tavros’ legs?? and he got robot ones? and some creepy dude was looking and we called him saggy tits bc hes sagittarius? right? neat. that did happen. pretty sure saggy tits is ACs friend that tells her what to do. the more u know. OH and they all have colored blood similar to their text colors lol. that i remember... so tavros has brown, terezi has blueish green, um. karkat has grey the loser. and apparently it forms a rainbow which is nice. rainbow is good.

16. i dont remember anything else actually

17. wait no i do. AG appeared. shes a petty bully. idk what to say about her. we didnt get that much, except that she hates tavros but is okay with aradia. she also looks like a bottle opener. actually, i think she teamed with aradia to gain leadership rather than to “be friends”. and while that is similar to how karkat did it, meaning the gain, the motivation and how they earned it is entirely different. kinda seeing a trend tho. the leaders of the red/blue teams are both characters who wanted the role, but never had it to begin with. only to win their way into the position. but rather than ask non-stop like karkat did, AG manipulated others so she could be successful. not too sure if she also used aradia for that, or is actually motivated to become friends since they were “past enemies” and she needed a rebound. pretty sure its somewhat both. while AG did mostly use aradia to speak with sollux, what she doesnt know is that aradia is a bad bitch who never even thought about AG and only followed through with the plan bc she had a plan of her own. i guess we’ll look into that later. i lowkey want to know their history.

18. OH AC!!! she appeared for a second as well. love her. shes amazing. 9.5/10. and you may ask yourself, why am i saying “i love this character” but none of them are 10/10?? weellllll its because, and i cant stress this enough, 10/10 belongs to kanaya, i dont make the rules. im waiting for her introduction, shes my favorite and its obvious. sorry.

19. oh huh seems i forgot about the term “lusus”. which.. is.. their parents but not really, its these fucking weird ass creatures that the trolls fought in a cave or something as a child. i dont fucking know. terezi hatched hers and it died? gamzee’s also died but his goat sea dad was never really there to begin with so while it is sad, its more sad that gamzee never saw him? um.. karkat killed his own by exploding his computer bc sollux said dont run the virus and karkat said u cant tell me what to do and did it anyways. so thats on him. but apparently theyre supposed to die, to become prototyped during the game, right? yeah. i remember now.

20. thats.. about it? idk anything else, nothing is coming back to me apart from the shit above. huh.... im surprised how quickly things do come back to you the moment you rant about the plot tho.... handy trick.

cool. neat. fun. this took me too long. but im glad i remember a little bit.

[yournewfavoritethings]

Y’all we gotta do something about the education system

I’m not just talking about the American school system, I’m talking about every one. I saw this post and it just tRigGEreD me to the core:

YALL WE GOTTA STEP IT THE F*** UP. CLAP YOUR HANDS IF YOU LIKE SCHOOL. HEAR THAT? NO YA DONT. literally everyone hates school and why?

We aren’t passionate abt what we’re learning

Information is forced upon us in an unhealthy process

The work is unreasonable and most likely things we won’t ever use again

Lastly, it teaches us to fit into little cut out spaces and fill roles that society expects from us.

Let’s dive deeper, shall we

Passion:

We’ve all heard this before, and yet none of us have taken a stand in any way that makes a difference. Listen, I know we all need basic math skills, and probably should read that Shakespeare book, and I agree. However, it doesn’t make sense that every year it’s MATH, HISTORY, SCIENCE, ENGLISH, and a sport or something. Like, how much do you think I’m gonna remember guys?

And none of us are into it. Personally, I love English. I could read and write and depict novels all day. On the other hand, I hate science with a passion. It does not make sense. Many students are like this, better at other subjects and maybe not as good at something else. Why is that so bad? I find myself dozing off in class bc it’s so boring. The way we’re learning isn’t learning at all. It’s being damn good at memorizing and cramming things last minute. THAT ISNT LEARNING which leads me into my next point

How we learn

First off, I’ve had 5 good teachers in my life. 5. I’m a sophomore in high school. The only reason I know weird things about how geometry works is bc of my 6th grade math teacher. The only reason I get human geography is bc of my AP human teacher. You wonder why I don’t understand biology? WE TAKE NOTES FROM OUR TEACHERS PAGES AND LISTEN TO HER READ OFF THE SCREEN. You wonder why my homework is excellent and my tests are failures? BECAUSE THEY ARENT TEACHING AT ALL, THEYRE EXPECTING US TO KNOW BC WE STUDY, AND THEREFORE ARENT DOING THEIR JOBS.

Secondly, students don’t learn the same. There’s this art piece of a monkey, a fish, and an insect or something and they’re all asked to climb a tree. This is the education system. Sometimes, people can learn easily bc they get it. For others, it’s impossible bc it’s not who they are.

And it’s unhealthy

get up at 6. Get off at 4. Have 3 hours of homework. Go to sleep at 9. Repeat. Do you know how unhealthy that is for teenagers? I play a sport and I have to go to practice at least two school nights a week. And on the weekend, teachers pile on everythingggggg. You wonder why we procrastinate? Cause we are unmotivated, tired, and physically unable. I take all AP classes bc it’s fun to learn, if you think about it. I’d love to know about the ecosystem and the planets. I think science is fun! I soak up facts about our ancestors and how our world came to be. I think history is fun! But the busy work, the stress, the never ending due-dates, finals, and homework make it unbareable.

Y’all have heard this before: we won’t use the work in the future.

No we won’t. The only thing I’d need it for is helping my kids with their homework, because the education system doesn’t change despite how awful it is. Honestly, it just keeps getting worse. Ted talks and posts about this are endless, so I won’t go into detail, you get the just.

Societal Roles

School is meant to enhance our creativity and our uniqueness, but it does the exact opposite. It discourages our individuality by making us take tests and work for meaningless grades. Think of the billionaires who didn’t go to college. Think of the successful people who are mathematicians or scientists. Everyone that comes to mind when I think of someone successful, probably didn’t use any of their prior high school knowledge to achieve their dreams. I’m tired of being anxious all the time. Even as the school year nears I feel myself becoming depressed, scared, and stressed already. What a shame.

Solution:

My first solution is that we have Fridays as half days, and start school at at least 9, but 10 would be better. The school day should still end at 4.

Why?

This will decrease stress dramatically and allow students proper time to rest. Having that delay will allow students to have healthier sleeping schedules and more time to do homework. While this does decrease time for actual learning, I believe schools can make it work. Having A/B schedules where students have half their classes on A day and the other half on B day should suffice nicely. As for Friday’s, the school should get out at 12 and be kept open until 3 for students to come in for tutoring. Teachers will then have to work until 4 bc we need our grades in and this allows them up to 4 hours to sort everything out.

Next solution, from Kinder through 8th grade, the four main subjects should be enforced as they are just basic means of education (but kept the same as they already are). High school should allow students to have 3 years of each, so that they can pick which classes they want to take that year.

This allows more room for endorsements and sports throughout your high school years. Personally, high school is already a drag for me and if they’re gonna continue the work load, then they’ve gotta cut the time we have to endure it. Everyone I know is so anxious all the time, they’ve turned to drugs and alcohol and juuls. Honestly, I think it’s bc it gives them an escape, but I wouldn’t know. On top of that, everyone’s depressed. I can blame about 70% of this on education alone. Imagine having the freedom to grow into a person you want to be. With this schedule, I really think we can. We have more time to figure out who we are and what our passion is through picking classes that suit us instead of the main 4. Plus, teachers will benefit as well. They get to teach those who want to learn their subject and will strive for it.

Last solution, work load needs to be fixed.

I’m not just talking homework, I’m talking busy work, projects, and tests. I’d rather learn than do that crap, bc, what a shocker! It doesn’t help. Tests should be once every two months, with quizzes enforced every two weeks. Quizzes should be no longer than 20 questions, and tests no longer than 40. Half the amount of homework we already receive should become optional, and a study resource more than a grade. I get about 5 pages a week in math alone, not to mention the amount I get from other classes. Let’s cut that to about 15 questions and have 3 pages of optional study work that help you understand the subject.

And for busy work, let’s make that a thing once every week, and for a short amount of time. The rest should be practicing with the teacher or optional station work.

Projects, on the other hand, should be given once every month. They shouldn’t be huge projects, but just simple ones to cover the unit. Nor should they be useless. I’m not gonna go design a topographic map at home and waste my money on poster paper or connect a baseball game to a mathematical equation. Give me a few key materials to research and a few options on how I want to complete it such as, google site, video, presentation, or creative side like drawing. Whatever benefits the student.

See how I’ve included every students needs and ways of processing the material, along with setting realistic expectations to uphold them to? Not that hard.

Please feel free to add more! I’d love to hear y’alls opinion on school and what you think of my solution! I’ll probably make a legit paper on this bc I kinda just threw this post together lol

[bluebeetle]

Tell me about your dnd ocs

oroooook super late on this sorry, as i said, computer troubles have been plaguing me and continue to do so

oook so the last image i posted that prompted this was mostly of a friends character but mine from the same game was in the corner, who is also the guy in my header:

(Art by @herobrushreplica !!)

anyways his name is Nico (short for Nicolas) and he’s a dhampir since we use a lot of homebrew, and also a ranger. so yeah he uses dueling and has some healing spells bc we are dumb and didnt plan ahead and had like no healers..... and also can turn into a bat

also hes the poor neutral good in a sea of chaotics (and one lawful good) 

He was kind of pre-existing prior to this but i expanded a bit more. anyways im lazy so ill copy-paste what i had written up already:

backstory:

A half-vampire born to a vampire hunter who's love was turned into a creature of the night as an act of revenge from a powerful vampire lord. The couple did not part nor kill each other like expected, however, and Nicolas (Nico for short) was born from this union. Raised in the art of fighting monsters and other creatures of the night, Nico learned how to use both ranged and melee weapons. He was brought up learning how all monsters--including more humanoid creatures such as Orcs, Vampire and Tieflings--were evil and it was the duty of his family to protect those in need from them.

 However, he grew up battling with his vampiric side. His father telling Nico that he was to never reveal it to anyone unless necessary, while his mother assured him he was an amazing creature, and one of good rather than evil. His relationship with his father was rocky, made worse whenever any of Nico's traits showed. He grew up unsure of his destiny, instead focusing solely on the wishes of his parents, and keeping himself distant from other people. 

 However, this was not to last forever, as while Nico aged normally until he reached 25, it seem became clear that like his mother, he was ageless. After the death of his father, Nico's mother left to sleep away her grief, leaving him alone. Nico left to travel the land, hoping to help those in trouble--occasionally for a cost--and find his way. He has a hard time opening up and trusting people, but is quick to become attached and affectionate regardless. He is plagued by feelings of doubt and uncertainty over his heritage and morality, wondering if what his father has taught him about different races is true or not. He worries about his vampire side coming out and harming people--even if he can survive on normal food and animal blood. His heritage is not something he reveals easily--as he has experienced plenty of blacklash for being a dhampir in the past.

 When it comes to taking action, he either impulsively acts, emotion taking over (often his temper) or overthinks, leaving him hesitant and confused. He's easily flustered and confused, wanting to help people and be in their company while also pushing them away in fear of them hating him for being what he is. He is bad at confrontation with authority figures, often instead going behind their backs. His main goal is to find his place in life, to chase away his feelings of loneliness and abandonment and feel assured in his morality and existence, in his choices. Or, at the very least, better understand himself.

He can survive on normal foods and animal blood, but would die if unable to eat any meat. Human blood is still tempting to him. He works best with melee weapons but has skills with the bow and whip. proficiency: arcana,athletics, perception, investigation,  survival

Personality Traits

*I judge people by their actions, not their words.

* If someone is in trouble, I’m always ready to lend help. I don’t talk about the thing that torments me.

* I’d rather not burden others with my curse. I expect danger around every corner.

* I refuse to become a victim, and I will not allow others to be victimized. I put no trust in divine beings.

* I live for the thrill of the hunt.

 Ideals:

*I try to help those in need, no matter what the personal cost. (Good) 

*I kill monsters to make the world a safer place, and to exorcise my own demons. (Good) 

 Bonds:

*I protect those who cannot protect themselves. 

*A terrible guilt consumes me. I hope that I can find redemption through my actions. 

*There’s evil in me, I can feel it. It must never be set free. 

 Flaws

*The people who knew me when I was young know my shameful secret, so I can never go home again.

* have trouble trusting in my allies. 

*I feel no compassion for the dead. They’re the lucky ones.

so yeah edgy vampire oc... but i love him. most of it ends up with everyone being well chaotic and him trying to keep some semblance of order so they can actually reach their goal but usually its. a mess. but its fun. 

my other one ive used once so i dont have anything for her but shes an aarakocra  monk named Zeera! and is Chaotic good and basically just a vehicle for me to be like “ahah what bird behaviour would be funny in this situation”. also her look is based on ornate hawk-eagles bc theyre pretty

Backstory:

Once part of the guardsmen for her tribe, Zeera has since decided she wants to see more of the world. She used to be a soldier, and has medical knowledge. She left the guardsmen, though, tired of horrible commanders. Just one problem: growing up so isolated from other races combined with general bird behaviour, means she tends to stick out as a ditsy trouble maker. 

She takes anything shiny and doesn’t really understand many social concepts such as ownership. But she does understand fighting, oh boy does she. Somewhat childish in personality, acts very birdlike. Aggressive.

Personality Traits

*I enjoy being strong and like breaking things. I face problems head-on. 

*A simple, direct solution is the best path to success.

Ideals

*Independence. When people follow orders blindly, they embrace a kind of tyranny. (Chaotic) 

*Greater Good. Our lot is to lay down our lives in defense of others. (Good)

Bonds

*Those who fight beside me are those worth dying for.

Flaws

*I have little respect for anyone who is not a proven warrior.

*I’d rather eat my armor than admit when I’m wrong.

[greymuse]

Witchy QnA

1. Are you solitary or in a coven?

Solitary!

2. Do you consider yourself Wiccan, Pagan, witch, or other?

Witch, or Enchantress if I wanna sound fancy

3. What is your zodiac sign?

Leo sun, Aquarius moon, Leo rising

4. Do you have a Patron God/dess?

Nope

5. Do you work with a Pantheon?

Nope

6. Do you use tarot, palmistry, or any other kind of divination?

Tarot sometimes

7. What are some of your favorite herbs to use in your practice? (if any)

Im just starting to get into more physical items. I was raised to do most things mentally.

8. How would you define your craft?

Im not sure? Green but a lil eclectic

9. Do you curse? If not, do you accept others who do?

I dont think of it as cursing. More so protection from certain people.

10. How long have you been practicing?

I found out about what I was already doing as being Witchcraft a couple months ago. But Ive been using Tarot, using kitchen Witch spells, as “prayers” as spells since I can remember

11. Do you currently or have you ever had any familiars?

Nope. I hope to have one soon though

12. Do you believe in Karma or
Reincarnation?

Absolutely believe in karma. Reincarnation, possibly. Its definitely something I think about

13. Do you have a magical name?

Nope.

14. Are you “out of the broom closet”?

My whole moms side practices casually, so I mean I guess? But I havent referred to  myself as a Witch or something like that.

15. What was the last spell you performed?

I enchanted a ring I got. Also, a money spell that worked but uhh its definitely showing me that I need to work harder.

16. Would you consider yourself knowledgeable?

Im pretty decent. Most of what I look up is common knowledge to me

17. Do you write your own spells?

I havent yet, but I also dont do many spells verbally. I more so visually manifest

18. Do you have a book of shadows? If so, how is it written and/or set up?

I do, Its just a plain lil notebook, I have just some basic reference sheet type things in it.

19. Do you worship nature?

Absolutely

20. What is your favorite gemstone?

rose quartz. or tigers eye

21. Do you use feathers, claws, fur, pelt, skeletons/bones, or any other animal body part for magical work?

I dont particularly enjoy using animal/ human materials. I use natural things, like dirt and water.

  22. Do you have an altar?

Not so much a physical Altar, but my bed is definitely my safe space and I can clear my mind here the easiest.

23. What is your preferred element?

Water, but fire always make me wide eyed and curious. definitely curious. but its destructive potential scares me.

24. Do you consider yourself an Alchemist?

Not art all haha

25. Are you any other type of magical practitioner besides a witch?

Im not sure!

26. What got you interested in witchcraft?

realizing that I had been practicing for my whole life and I hadnt known before

27. Have you ever performed a spell or ritual with the company of anyone who was not a witch?

yeah, with my mom and her mom. I just didnt know at the time. We do protection spells often.

28. Have you ever used ouija?

yup! with my mom and her mom. Its just a family thing we do every time we all get together. I grew up thinking it was completely normal.

29. Do you consider yourself a psychic?

My mom says I used to be. I used to dream about natural disasters before they happened as a kid. I dont think im too good anymore. just empathetic.

30. Do you have a spirit guide? If so, what is it?

I dont think I do. If anything, I do feel a feminine energy? dark (like a shadow, not negative) and watery is the best way I can describe it. But its not a human  entity. Just energy.

31. What is something you wish someone had told you when you first started?

That not everyone believes what you do. And its totally okay! Just maybe dont loudly announce your Ouija board antics with your science teacher in middle school.

32. Do you celebrate the Sabbats? If so which one is your favorite?

I havent before, but im going to try to this year

33. Would you ever teach witchcraft to your children?

Absolutely. I want my son to grow up the same way I did around magick. Itll be normal for him.

34. Do you meditate?

Sometimes! its definitely something im trying to do more often.

35. What is your favorite season?

Fall and Spring! Theres so much change

36. What is your favorite type of magick to preform?

Im not sure yet! Ive only just started branching out and actually considering what ive been doing all my life as magick.

37. How do you incorporate your spirituality into your daily life?

Daily affirmations/ protection spells, I manifest me and my sons happiness and safety every day.

38. What is your favorite witchy movie?

I dont think Ive seen any haha

39. What is your favorite witchy book, both fiction and non-fiction. Why?

The Darkest Powers books by Kelly Armstrong. More supernatural (vampires, werewolves, stuff like that) but I loved it growing up.

40. What is the first spell you ever preformed? Successful or not.

Knowingly, a protection spell from someone who had hurt me

41. What’s the craziest witchcraft-related thing that’s happened to you?

Im not sure! I can see auras if i really focus and can tune into someone, so maybe when i saw a family member with a pure black aura? That was freaky

42. What is your favourite type of candle to use?

I dont use candles! Bonfires or fires in fireplaces usually, to burn a paper if needed. Again, I dont  trust myself with fire very much.

43. What is your favorite witchy tool?

My crystals and my tarot. They all have vibrations. Everything does but especially those, because im so connected to them

44. Do you or have you ever made your own witchy tools?

I want to!  Havent yet

45. Have you ever worked with any magical creatures such as the fea or spirits?

Spirits, yes. I can call on family that Ive known in person for protection. Been doing that as long as i can remember

46. Do you practice color magic?

I used to! i dont really anymore. 

47. Do you or have you ever had a witchy teacher or mentor of any kind?

My mom, aunt, and grandma! 

48. What is your preferred way of shopping for witchcraft supplies?

Dollar store, thrift store, antique stores (though im always hesitant to use something that belonged to someone else. If there isnt a close emotional attachment, there wont be any noticeable vibrations.

49. Do you believe in predestination or fate?

I think theres a general way that things can happen. More like a decide your fate book. There are multiple options, it just depends on what you choose.

50. What do you do to reconnect when you are feeling out of touch with your practice?

Meditate, or go to the lake.

51. Have you ever had any supernatural experiences?

ohhhh boy. I got stories.

52. What is your biggest witchy pet peeve?

People thinking theyre better bc they have a crap ton of materials, thinking im less than because I visualize easier than with material items.

53. Do you like incense? If so what’s your favorite scent?

I do, I just cant very often. I have a child and very smell sensitive people livingg with me

54. Do you keep a dream journal of any kind?

I rarely ever remember a dream, so no

55. What has been your biggest witchcraft disaster?

Im not sure ive had one yet

56. What has been your biggest witchcraft success?

I havent seen who i dont want to see since protecting myself

57. What in your practice do you do that you may feel silly or embarrassed about?

 Everything, haha. I think thats why I enjoy visualizing instead of rituals or verbal stuff.

58. Do you believe that you can be an atheist, Christian, Muslim or some other faith and still be a witch too?

Absolutely!

59. Do you ever feel insecure, unsure or even scared of spell work?

yes, I feel like it //can be// kinda like a genie in a bottle type thing. Itll work, but not without a price.

60. Do you ever hold yourself to a standard in your witchcraft that you feel you may never obtain?

Nope

61. What is something witch related that you want right now?

A cauldron to mix and burn things in haha

62. What is your rune of choice?

I dont know yet! Runes are something Im looking into

63. What is your tarot card of choice?

My birth card, the Tower.

64. Do you use essential oils? If so what is your favorite?

I love lemon and eucalyptus 

65. Have you ever taken any kind of witchcraft or pagan courses?

nope!

66. Do you wear pagan jewelry in public?

Nope

67. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your faith or being a witch?

No one that would feel that way knows anything about it

68. Do you read or subscribe to any pagan magazines?

nope

69. Do you think it’s important to know the history of paganism and witchcraft?

Yes. Its like knowing world history and us history, We need to learn from the past.

70. What are your favorite things about being a witch?

I feel powerful, and connected and accepted by nature.

71. What are your least favorite things about being a witch?

having to tiptoe around things around certain people

72. Do you listen to any pagan music? If so who is your favorite singer/band?

Nope! ill have to look into it

73. Do you celebrate the Esbbats? If so, how?

I havent fully figured out what i want to do for the moon cycles yet, but I definitely want to. the moon and water are so closely related

74. Do you ever work skyclad?

No, but i mean.. maybe one day?

75. Do you think witchcraft has improved your life? If so, how?

I feel like i have more control of how im able to use my emotions and feelings

76. Where do you draw inspiration from for your practice?

The energy i talked about before.. It gets more intense and stronger sometimes, and i know i need to put more time and effort into my practice

77. Do you believe in ‘fantasy’ creatures? (Unicorns, fairies, elves, gnomes, ghosts, etc)

no, but i do believe in energy. not ghosts per say but definitely energy

78. What’s your favorite sigil/symbol?

I try to make most of them myself. I have one for protection while driving that i use for me and my boyfriend a lot. And one for the safety of my son.

79. Do you use blood magick in your practice? Why or why not?

Not as of right now. I did bleed onto my tarot cards on accident though..

80. Could you ever be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t support your practice?

Theres a difference  between “doesnt understand and doesnt care to” and “fully doest support and refuses to let you practice safely”. I dont mind the first, but wouldnt stay with the second.

81. In what area or subject would you most like your craft to grow?

Reading auras, and tarot. Also just connecting with nature more

82. What’s your favorite candle scent? Do you use it in your practice?

I love fall scents! but no, i dont really use candles

83. Do you have a pre-ritual ritual? (I.e. Something you do before rituals to prepare yourself for them). If so what is it?

Meditate and protect

84. What real life witch most inspires your practice?

My mom honestly lmao. i dont think she views herself as a full witch though.And my aunt

85. What is your favorite method of communicating with deity?

I dont worship dieties. But i like to just be in natural and connect emotionally, nonverbally to this energy Im somehow connected with.

86. How do you like to organize all your witchy items and ingredients?

In this lil wooden box my mom gave me for my birthday to hold the tarot cards my grandma gave me haha.

87. Do you have any witches in your family that you know of?

my mom. aunt, and grandma. I know my grandpas grandma was a voodoo witch too.

  88. How have you created your path? What is unique about it?

I havent seen much about nonverbal, mostly mental witchcraft. So i guess  thats one unique thing.

89. Do you feel you have any natural gifts or affinities (premonitions, hearing spirits, etc.) that led you toward the craft? If so what are they?

A couple things. Feeling vibrations, the connection to nature, auras, growing up surrounded by it.

90. Do you believe you can initiate yourself or do you have to be initiated by another witch or coven?

I believe you can initiate yourself. I dont feel the need for someone elses validation is i know my connection with nature is real

91. When you first started out in your path what was the first thing or things you bought?

crystals, lmao

92. What is the most spiritual or magickal place you’ve been?

The southern oregon coast. honestly everywhere in oregon feels so alive and vibrating so heavily with energy. The water and the lush greenery is perfection.

93. What’s one piece of advice you’d give someone who is searching for their matron and patron deities?

I have no idea, I dont follow a deity

94. What techniques do you use to ‘get in the zone’ for meditation?

quiet, listen to music i like and that help calm me, slightly cool, a breeze is good. the sound of real water flowing from a lake or ocean. recordings of water dont help me. sometimes white noise if theres too much noise

95. Did visualization come easily to you or did you have to practice at it?

visualization is the easiest thing for me. ive always daydreamed so heavily that itll be like im dreaming with my eyes totally open and tracking. 

  96. Do you prefer day or night? Why?

early mornings, right as the sun is coming up.

97. What do you think is the best time and place to do spell work?

I like doing spell work before bed, when the moon is bright enough to light up what im doing

98. How did you feel when you cast your first circle? Did you stumble or did it go smoothly?

I dont know if it counts as casting a circle? but i visualize a swirling white ball of energy, starting out like a strawberry size in my hands, and every time i breath in, it gets bigger. Its a protection circle. i learned to do it at like?? 3 years old?

99. Do you believe witchcraft gets easier with time and practice?

Yup!

100. Do you believe in many gods or one God with many faces?

If i had to guess, id say multiple gods/ goddesses. one entity shouldnt have that much power imo.

101. Do you eat meat, eggs and dairy?

Ive been trying to go vegetarian, and i eat minimal eggs and dairy.

102. What is your favorite color and why?

dark, smokey colors. grey, black, dark muted purples, navy, smoky pink.

103. What is the one question you get asked most by non-practitioners or non-pagans? How do you usually respond?

I dont have many people im even slightly into that stuff, let alone a witch. So usually just “how do i cleanse my house? i think its haunted” type stuff

104. Which of your five senses would you say is your strongest?

Feel, haha, physically and emotionally.

105. What is a pagan or witchcraft rule that you preach but don’t practice?

Always properly cleanse new materials, haha

[fcnna]

❝ Even if you are a small forest surviving off of moon alone: your light is extraordinary. ❞ MILENA TSCHARNTKE? No, that’s actually FENNA VAN DEN BERG. A SIXTH YEAR student, this HUFFLEPUFF student is sided with THE NEUTRALS. SHE/THEY identifies as GENDERQUEER and is a MUGGLEBORN who is known to be FICKLE, ESCAPIST and DISTANT, but also ARTISTIC, STEADY and INDEPENDENT.

LINKS: stats, pinboard, character tag. CHARACTER PARALLELS: susanna kaysen (girl, interrupted), chidi anagonye (the good place), pam halpert (the office), riley blue (sense8) HELLO gang, so this is a rewrite/repost of my old intro. fenna is now sixteen, not twenty six, and she’s a puff rather than a beauxbatons graduate. some of this will be the same, some will not! yeet!

history

fenna is born to a dutch family in the city of utrecht as the youngest of three. her family is a rich one --- one of the richest, actually. they’re ambitious and cunning and success and reputation are words that fenna is all too familiar with growing up. there is no room for oddities or rebellion or putting a toe out of line and fenna doesn’t mind. they’re good at rules and doing what is expected and falling in line, anyways. it’s safe. it’s easy.

her father has to go abroad for work. a lot. germany, france, belgium, the uk ... he’s more away from home than he’s not. when the company he works for (or, well, partly owns, really) has a great opportunity to become even more global, he drags his family with him to england, where they settle in manchester. it’s an exciting thing, to move across europe when you’re seven, but a sad one, too. fenna says goodbye to all their friends and teachers and weeps in the car and refuses to learn english.

they do learn, eventually. fenna doesn’t have much of a choice, as they attend muggle private school. and once they know their way around the language, they do well in school. unaware of the fact that they’re a wix, there’s a lot of pressure on their shoulders and they work hard, their focus iron-like, their wish to please their parents great. but in moments of stress, their magic shows --- and fenna is scared of it. fenna does not tell their parents, out of fear of disapproval and raised eyebrows, not wanting to admit that this is something real in the first place. in stead, they get the best grades and play the piano and keep their worries locked in their heart. magic isn’t real.

and yet, the truth comes out one day. fenna is a witch, they’re all told, and it’s a shock. they are to go to a school in scotland and study magic there. it’s a shock. it’s like a bomb goes off in their home. but here’s the thing --- their parents didn’t stop loving them. and yet, something did change in the way she was loved, and fenna -- quiet and observant -- noticed it all too well.

because here’s the thing --- when you’re a witch, you can’t go to one of the top universities in the uk and become a doctor or lawyer or politician, you can’t fill the mold that comes with being a van den berg, you can’t, you can’t, you can’t. and that was what life was all about for fenna up until now, and what it is still all about for their family, and suddenly for them, that was over. so things changed. slowly but surely and eventually disastrously ( but we’re not there yet ).

so fenna was off to this boarding school, with their eyes wide open and their heart hammering. from day one, a wedge started growing between them and their family. whether it was disapproval, insecurities or the distance that forced it, no one really knows --- but it was there, from the beginning, and only grew bigger. meanwhile fenna did find themselves at hogwarts, falling in love with magic and the feeling of control they got when spells went right. the pressure was off from her family ---- what did they care if they succeeded in magic? it’d not mean anything in the muggle world. doing well at hogwarts was something fenna did for themselves and yes, that still made them stressed and anxious and the pressure was still there, but it had lessened, changed.

fenna started sending less owls to home. they and their family grew apart more and while that happened, they found something called independence and that it came quite easily to them. fenna learned what living for themselves was. they learned that, damn it, there were no dreams for great successes in law or politics living inside of them. there was a passion for art, though, for all kinds of it. painting especially, was what they fell in love with.

queerphobia tw / after her fifth year, fenna had grown into an independent, but solitary person. their art had become better, their passions grown bigger, their relationship with their parents as fragile as a bomb. fenna spent the summer at home, trying to see what was wrong, what was happening with them and their parents. in the end, they decided that something was just horribly wrong. their parents were no monsters, but they struggled with fenna’s magic, and their wishes to become an artist, with their gender and sexuality, with everything, really. there were fights. there were disagreements. fenna felt terrible, being home, and longed for the end of summer, for a return to hogwarts, for a place to feel at damn home end of tw

it was just hard, with their family. there was never any real confrontational harsh destruction, never a moment of outspoken disapproval or disappointment. everything was kept in the shadows. in their home, there was no room for honesty, and if there was, it was like a bomb exploding, with everything coming out. it was suffocating. fenna couldn’t do it any more.

i do think that this moment during summer break was significant. it was a push for fenna to grow more serious about their passions. they want to go to art school, want to do what they want to do, because they know that they will never be happy doing what their parents want from them. they’re ready for the world, to chase their dreams --- i mean, it’s utterly terrifying, but fenna is finally daring to think about a future in the arts, rather than a future with more stability, one that fit in the image they always had of their own future.

and then they return to hogwarts and the war breaks out. the war is ... well, it’s fucking terrifying, frankly. fenna is no fighter, they know that. they’re no good with dueling or offensive spells. they’re no good in any of this, frankly ---- fenna craves control in everything in their lives and they dont have that with this war, especially as it does target people like them. for now, they are neutral, cowardly hiding in the shadows. they know that there’s things to do, that there should be things she could do, that she should not hide in fear but --- how do you not do that, if that is your instinct? 

personality & ramblings

meet fenna --- your local tortured artist! sad pal, with a good heart but a lot of insecurities and doubts clouding it. i’m going to try and just summarise their general personality here!!

fenna is first and foremost independent. they don’t rely on anyone but themselves, and like it that way. they don’t feel independent, they feel absolutely bloody lost, but they are. this partly comes from the fact that they like to feel in control and at this point, they do hold a lot of the reigns when it comes to stuff in her life? they also rly like things that are logical because of this, like maths and arithmancy and potions

fenna is ... both incredibly emotional and completely rigid? in their private time, they cry and rage easily, but to the outside world they’re definitely quite composed and rigid. fenna is good at pretense and masks and not showing all that is going on.

as a friend, they’re nurturing and kind and always down for a spontaneous night of shenanigans. doesn’t like DANGER but does like shenanigans.

idk i can go on for forever theyre such a mess

nsfw / fenna’s genderqueer/femme. they use both she/her and they/them pronouns --- it depends on how they’re feeling, but also who they’re with, tbh. they’re pansexual/panromantic and very easy when it comes to sex. puts the ho in art ho! nah but for real they sleep around and they don’t think much of it at all tbh, sex is fun and it relaxes her and it’s a good time for everyone involved / end

oof such a romantic, deep down. just aesthetic wise for sure, but also ... fenna does love like, jane austen and the bronte sisters and old romance novels and shitty romcoms and ahhhh. does believe in true love but ? have they given it a shot? really? not rly. too afraid of it.

also, def has some stereotypical muggleborn stuff going on. never used quills, thinks the wizarding world is a mess always, etc. they also love muggle culture in general and is addicted to netflix tbh. VERY MAD ABOUT THE PHONE BAN! they miss pinterest and netflix big time.

depression & anxiety tw / fenna is depressed & has general anxiety disorder. both are undiagnosed at the moment, as they don’t really . understand that something might be going on, or rather are in denial about it. i mean, to a certain extent they know that something’s not right, but they don’t want to take any steps to find help, because they downplay it Big Time in their mind. the war is definitely contributing to all this. end of tw.

honestly they just want to move the fuck away from this war, either back to the netherlands. they dont! like! this! war.

i could see them joining the MA, somewhere along the line? but rn fenna just. likes sitting in their corner. escaping from this shitty reality. smoking some pot. painting some shit. ignoring the reality of the world. 

ALSO I RLY STRUGGLED W THEIR HOUSE BC LIKE FENNA WOULD DO SO WELL IN RAVENCLAW BUT! I THINK THEY WORK WELL AS A PUFF BC IF YOURE THEIR FRIEND THEY ARE SO LOYAL! AND THEY DONT MIND HARD WORK when its GOOD work and also theyre just. a nice person. 

[rosykims]

tagged by @falkreathh sorry for the late response but thank you so much for tagging me !!! tagging @drthamen @aldmerii @femmeshep @denerims @nordickzz @aloths if u feel like it <3 and anyone else who wants to do this ofc !

i. — Are you named after anyone? nah im not my parents just went eenie meenie on a bunch of cute names they liked and taylah apparently stuck lol. apparently i was gonna be called samantha but they decided against it last minute.

ii. — When was the last time you cried? like literally yesterday...............i cry so much over every single thing i might as well b cryin right now babes !!!

iii. — Do you have kids? y i k e s !! no and i dont plan on ever having kids as much as i do like them. i dont think i would make a very good parent tbh

iv. — Do you use sarcasm a lot? hmmmmm yeah i guess i do but i wouldnt say its something anybody would associate me with ? i would say im more dry/ironic than sarcastic but i guess they are v similar so???

v. — What’s the first thing you notice about people? hmmmmm ive never really thought about this but i guess i notice their speech patterns first - like tone/mannerisms/style of speaking - all the obvious physical stuff comes first of course but speech to me is usually my go to first impression for getting a sense of someones vibe

vi. — What’s your eye color? kinda like??? greyish green or olive green ! they are v pretty and my favourite physical feature lol

vii. — Scary movie or happy ending? BOTH !!! scary movies with HAPPY endings give me life. i absolutely love horror movies so much but i hate sad stuff so i want to be terrified but feel comforted at the end lmao

viii. — Any special talents? not really tbh? i WAS a pretty awesome writing when i was a kid/teenager but depression killed tf out of all of my creativity so uh/????? idk if this counts but i am pretty great at comforting ppl and giving advice - im a good listener and i feel like that means something idk

ix. — Where were you born? perth, in western australia 

x. — What are your hobbies? obviously i love playing video games primarily ! but i also love journalling, knitting, writing when i have inspiration (mostly just oc stuff really), watching horror movies, watching dumb conspiracy/ghost videos, and its less of a hobby and more of an interest but i love greek mythology and witch folklore/tarot stuff !

xi. — Do you have any pets? not anymore unfortunately :( i had two BEAUTIFUL kitties, and a lovely lil doggo, but i moved out of parents home at the start of the year so theyre less my pets now and more my parents ..... but i still think of them as mine soooooo. my boyfriend and i are going to adopt a kitten next year once we move into a pet friendly place and im SO excited

xii. — What sports do you play/have you played? i would rather die than play A Sport - EXCEPT for tennis i used to be so good at that game when i was like 9 and i never got back into it but i imagine i would defs be up to giving it another shot eventually

xiii. — How tall are you? hmmm i really have no clue !! i would say roughly 170cm but i dont know what that is in ft !!! i was a very tall kid in primary/middle school and HATED it bc i stood out so much, but i thankfully stopped growing at about 15 and now i am wonderfully average <3 

xiv. — Favorite subject in school? HISTORY <3 <3 <3 i prefer ancient history but i also really dig modern history as well, simply because i had a really fantastic highschool teacher who made it really fun. i loved english as well, and fun fact i loved writing essays so much that even when im watching movies now sometimes i will pause to think about all the themes and symbolism and how i would format and essay based on it ! l m a o 

xv. — Dream job? i really want to be a counselor ! i wanted to be a psychologist at first until i started studying and realized how elitist and clinical the industry was, so i now want to work in a more accessible role where i can actually listen and hopefully empower people ! other than that, if i could get my motivation/inspiration back i would love to be a full time successful author, but that wont happen i dont think.