#theyr girl yaoi i think maybe

[gemwolfz]

two of my best friends teehee

[todayisafridaynight]

ok chat explain to me why ive seen an uptick in mine cope in the past like two months. what happened.

[pwnyta]

MORE TWISTED WONDERLAND TWINK JUDGMENT.

That hair is DIABOLICAL. Especially in blond... i know the Huntsman has that hair but it wasnt that bad in black. Hes still my favorite of the three Snow White crew TBH. The Huntsman?

More like CUNTSMAN AMIRITE?!

Best/worst outfit- This shitty fake Aussie outfit.. IDKY but I can only imagine him with an Australian accent now. Its terrible. I do take back the Cuntsman title why are all his outfit kinda lame? Theyre really doing Snow Whites baddies dirty.

Overall- 5.5/10...

...Not Hades... Why he look like an edgy version of Yaoi Jesus!? Not like this Hades... Not like this. I hate it here.

Best outfit- The Knight outfit. Its pretty sick...

Overall- 3/10 looks pretty cool but the fact hes so miserable even tho Hades is iconic... smdh

...Not Robot Shota Hades.... Do they know theres Medusa, Centaur, Hydra, Pain and Panic... WHY TWO HADES AND THEYRE BOTH THE WORST!?

Best outfit- This butterfly drip is actually pretty sick. I still hate it.

Overall- 4/10 for the Butterfly outfit he gets an extra point over Idia...

...Maleficent.... Alright big dog. You better not fuck this up. They fucked up Hades and The Evil Queen... you gotta really pop off bud. So far so fine.

Best outfit- Alright Mal... you saved yourself. I also like the Long outfit. WELL DONE BUD.

Overall- 7.5/10!

...WHO? Silver... is he... the fuckin sewing wheel? ???

Best outfit- I get to reward the Long outfit! Well done. But since its a shared outfit... not as good.

Overall- 5/10?? I guess.

...Maybe the green fire? I guess theres slimpicking as far as baddies in Sleeping Beauty... but why just add so many and then like NONE of the baddies in Hercules accent Hades? I dont get it Fifi... But this guy is pretty good. Rare not-twink? Real?

Best outfit- He looks nice in this half cape. I think he should have a proper belt but w/e.

Overall- 6.5/10

WHO!?!?!? I dont like this guy at all.... but also it makes me laugh at the person complaining about people sexualizing characters when theres so much shotabait LMAO.... Girl.

Best outfit- Full armor baby. Thats the way to go.

Overall- 2.5/10

Crowley... lookin sharp. Cool mask. Cool wing cape...

Best outfit- His standard. He doesnt have much to work with unfortunately.

Overall- 8/10

LIPSMACK OF DISAPPOINTMENT. You can do better than that for Cruella... Come on now.

Best outfit- His standard I guess cuz his other one sucks worse.

Overall- 4/10

Not Cinderellas step mom being better designed than Cruella... Also he reminds me of that comic with the old man with the fat ugly cat. So...

Best outfit- He doesnt get any more but its still good.

Overall- 7/10. Simple but I dig it.

...Tibbies.

Best outfit- I mean... its simple but a little cunty. HES GOT ANTLERS ON ALL OF HIS ...outfits.

Overall- 7/10

NOT TWINK FACILIER!!! WITH THE KILLMONGER CUT! LMFAO.

Best outfit- GIVE HIM MORE CLOTHES. WHY IS HE FACULTY!? WHY ISNT HE A STUDENT!? That a hamsa in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Overall- 10/10 I cant rate my mans Facilier any lower Im sorry. LMAO Hes very cute.

NOT CUNTY TWINK FROLLO!!! NOOOOO

Best outfit- His only outfit

Overall- ....8/10 Hes dripped out what can I say?

HONEST JOHN!? LMAO... Yo whyd they drop the ball so hard on Sleeping Beauty and then just started pulling out these NPC baddies...

Best outfit- Only outfit. Hes serving thoooo

Overall- 9/10

...How you gonna make the Cheshire Cat boring? I like his mome rath pants tho... I love Mome Raths...

Best Outfit- n/a

Overall- 2/10 THATS THE CHESHIRE CAT GUY!? ... boring as fuck...

What a weak ending... after all that goodness.

[weaselthing]

HI. BIG OVERVIEW OC POST THING. IT'S RAINFOREST FLOODS.

have you ever thought to yourself "hey wouldnt it be cool if there was an oc story made by two guys and it was about a haunted waterpark slash arcade in a fake town in a real state". you probably haven't. but if you have youre in luck! more under the cut ok.

rainforest floods is a terrible no good ocverse made by me and my good friend crawford @dykeseesgod. everyone in it sucks and is horrible except maybe one or two side characters. it's set in the podunk middle of nowhere town of timberline, new mexico, and more specifically a waterpark/arcade called rainforest floods (title drop).

also the waterpark SUUUCKS like its budget is nothing they are in debt. the managers havent paid taxes in 15 years. anyway these are the employees. theyre bad

and these are the co-managers. theyre even worse (and also toxic old man yaoi. these refs were drawn by the aforementioned crawford)

anyway yeah. they get up to wacky hijinks in what will ideally be a tv show coming out in one million years. they're also horrible and tragic. most of it is bruce's fault. some of its not though!

ok also here's some other side characters.

^ running gag that nobody knows her name except kelsey who has a huge crush on her.

^ unnamed girl's younger brother who is constantly faced with horrors and torment at the hands of the rainforest floods employees. dont get me wrong hes annoying as fuck but he didnt deserve to run on that hamster wheel. (ref also drawn by ford)

^ jeff's girlfriend. also the coolest person in timberline new mexico. worlds most unimportant minor character but she is wonderful and loved by the producers (me and cosmo)

FUNNY OUT OF CONTEXT THINGS THAT SHOULD MAKE YOU MORE INVESTED IN THIS OCVERSE

rainforest floods stupidity logic is a thing me and robbie came up with to explain why all the characters are idiots who dont find things out that are important to the plot too soon.

there's a chain gimmick restaurant that andy's whole family runs except him. its like italian food but its like also magicians. their tagline is "so good its practically magic". andy hates it.

kyle has a curse on him so that nobody remembers or recognizes him outside of like. his family. so the rff employees arent even targeting him for their shenanigans on purpose theyre all just weird freaks.

kelsey gives unnamed girl the company landline as her phone number because shes stupid and a ghost and doesnt have a phone.

the employees all get together on wednesdays in the breakroom and compare evidence on whether or not andy and bruce are together romantically. its the one thing that truly bonds them all together.

vincent: is a watchmojo fan, had his first kiss as beethoven in his 12th grade production of dog sees god confessions of a teenage blockhead (2004), gets really christian in some episode subplot, is not a swiftie but he is a gaylor, wishes he was jonathan sims sooooo bad, types like a toddler who was just given a keyboard.

vincent also ruined rainforest floods' lobby playlist

also there's a brand account that we run and post on whenever we feel like it. its more of a sounding board for ideas we may explore more in the future. its fun but it may be a bit difficult to get the full idea with the execution so :-( sorry you wont fully understand our wonderful and hilarious visions

annnd i think that's it. yay worlds silliest yet most tragic oc story. ok bye ^_^

[cyberdragoninfinity]

🔥I would love to hear your thoughts on the girls in Yugioh

I like em a lot but I wish they got to actually Do Things (especially in Zexal, they had so many cool girls and they hardly got to do anything)

I LOVE YOU YUGIOH GIRLSSSS

🔥 kind of insane that "the yugioh girls are good characters and deserve just as much respect as the male characters do" is a bit of an unpopular take but some anime fans are stuck in 2005 livejournal mindsets and do still act like girls in yugioh existing are the most heinous crime against yaoi possible. COULDNT BE ME!!! yugioh girls get behind me i love you I WILL PROTECT YOU!!!

theyre such a weird case a lot of the time too, though, because with the way yugioh works we equate "doing big, heroic moments" with dueling, because...well. This is the Card Game Dueling Monsters show. and the girls really indeed Do Not Get to Duel A Lot (let alone Win a lot) so in that department especially YEAH THEY REALLY DONT GET TO DO MUCH. And you get instances like poor fucking Rio Kastle, who's fridged for half of Zexal in the hospital, and Akiza JUST NOT GETTING TO TURBO DUEL EXCEPT LIKE TWO TIMES, MAYBE. GOD. But something I've noticed alongside that is because dueling = The benchmark for doing big plot actions, when the girls Do get to do some pretty cool stuff that isnt a duel, it doesn't really get dwelled on or talked about too much in fan spaces, and it's a shame!

I will never stop proclaiming that the DM anime was so real and right for making Serenity Wheeler the one to dive into the ocean to save her brother after the pier duel, it's one of my favorite scenes in all of Duel Monsters. SO much bravery and determination in that action. HER EYES WERE STILL HEALING AND SHE DID ALL THAT STILL!!! WAHHH. and god Tori, Tori Kotori Zexal my daughter MY BABY, everyone wants to be like "ohh she doesnt do anything shes annoying" MISS ME WITH THAT!! It sucks that she doesnt duel, yeah, but she does SO FUCKING MUCH over the course of Zexal. She piloted a spaceship out of a black hole. She followed Shark and Kite to go save Hart and Yuma and she was BEATING THOSE LITTER BOTS TO DEATH to save her friends!! She's by Yuma's side for all the incredible bullshit he has to deal with and without her I think he would have just completely fallen apart. She's so tenacious and loyal and fearless when it counts the most and it's such a bummer there's, like, no Tori meta.

I guess that all isnt too much of a hot unpopular take is it??! hrm. I guess it boils down to "some people have equated "not dueling" with "annoying and bad character" re: the girls of yugioh, which imo is a kneejerk borderline-to-genuinelly-misogynist reaction manifesting over what's really a bad writing choice completely out of the characters' hands" and you should really give yourself a chance to take a look at Everything the girls actually did get to contribute to the plot, because you can really find some great character insight and actually pretty important to the plot gestures in there. tl;dr 🔥 if you think ygo girls are annoying im turning you into a golf ball and putting you into a sand pit.

[confessions-official]

god i fucking hate one of my "friends". Honestly we're not friends at all, we never have been. shes honestly one of the most insufferable bitches ive ever had the displeasure of speaking. we've "known" each other since middle school (known is a stretch-- we did not fucking speak) and have since gone on to different high schools. We are both currently seniors and are both in a discord server with a few other middle school friends.

this girl (i guess i'll call her A for the purposes of this post) is honestly unhealthily attached to her old middle school connections. She's not exactly the most socially adept person (read: no goddamn friends except maybe two people she knew in middle school who have since moved the fuck on and tolerate her out of pity). As I'm still in contact with a couple of the people in the server as we've gone to the same school (and I actually enjoy their company) i'd prefer not to leave or kick up more shit than necessary.

As a result of having no fucking friends A is constantly trying to insert herself into conversations I have with others in the server. (mostly by dropping a "hi" and nothing else in the middle of an active conversation. or saying "what" in response to something literally any functioning human knows, and then bitching in #vent (god only knows why we have that worthless channel) because nobody wants to talk to her)

Normally this wouldn't be that bad, but she

a: is completely clueless about literally anything you might expect someone who is two months away from being a legal adult to know (barely knows what a political party is, completely naive in terms of sexuality, has every dumbass political opinion you would expect a severely sheltered upper-middle-class white kid to have (side note: i'm a brown woman. she has argued extensively with me about how "ACAB is literally the same as calling all trans women predators1!11!1" yes that is a real topic of discussion she tried to have with me. No i'm never having a political discussion with her moronic ass again)

and b: expects everyone around her to derail the conversation and explain everything theyre talking about to her so she doesn't feel eXcLuDeD and then throws a fit when she learns that the topics being discussed are *gasp* adult!!!!!!! no!!!!!!!! someone think of the kids!!!!!!!

literally every time A does this the conversation is ruined unless we ignore her, in which case she whines and threatens sh in #vent (sometimes with confessions bot, but her spelling is comically bad and its incredibly obvious who's writing all those whiny fits). it feels like trying to joke and have fun with your friends except your 8-year-old cousin keeps butting in and asking you what yaoi is (yet another real example).

Honestly at this point I would make a new server behind her back with the handful of active members I actually like, except my closest friend still keeps in contact with her out of pity (they wouldn't admit it, but its incredibly obvious if you're anyone but A) and frankly I'm too swamped with college apps to deal with any of her potential blowups again. I hope she manages to find some friends in college, cause if this keeps up she's gonna turn into a completely antisocial shut in, and god knows the few people who still listen out of pity will be long gone. At the very least a real life friend would get her off discord all damn day.

 

[starry-sky-orchestra]

Let's make smiles bloom, anytime, everywhere! (WONDERHOY~!★)

welcome to my blog! (or welcome back if you knew me before i went by this user)

name: christy or papu either is fine

pronouns: she/her

sexuality: pansexual omniromantic

i am certified the prettiest princess in the entire world. bow down to me or else you get the guillotine grrr

-pls use tone tags when ur talking to me it makes a big big difference!!!!!

-possibly neurodivergent

-uh i apologize a lot and im really sensitive so. uh. jus like reassure me a lot ig

-if you call me a dry texter i will literally block you. /j but srsly not every1 is the best at talking..

-i have an agere blog which is basically my alt so follow that one if u want too. or not.

DNI: proshippers, anti antis(?? idk what this means but i see this in a lot of profiles), freakstarries, whatever weird pjsk fans call themselves, basic dni criteria ykyk, if u think age regression is a kink. it isn't. go fuck yoursel- if you support Sara_mjrb/lord_sara_gaming or mizumi-kagaho

social time whoohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

discord: ask in dms

youtube: pan_pan_papu

tumblr: ur here already.

wattpad: coming soon?? maybe????????

fandoms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

project sekai

danganronpa (well. barely.)

anime in general but most of the subreddits on reddit fucking suck. theyre all either weirdos or homophobic (as in, i like yuri but yaoi is EWWWWW guys cant like guys!! i wld fuck alstolfo tho)

bubble guppies

rugrats

mewkledreamy

sanrio in general

im joining a lot of fandoms every day. too many to remember

parappa the rapper

cardcaptor sakura

mario

nintendo

animal crossing

shima shima tora no shimajiro

ojamajo doremi

little witch academia

idolmaster

ummmm im hypersexual so like im more. weirder. than other people

fanfic writer. kind of. i have 200 million fankids and i will write about them ALL

i am probably the only shima shima tora no shimajiro fan ever. like im being serious its not that well known out of japan

i like karaoke!!!!!! kind of! its fun <3

also. i am being serious about potty training being my special intrest. pls dont think im weird.

if u ever wonder why all my fankids are so young/why i usually draw pjsk characters younger than they acc are then. ur reason is here.

-my art is fucking ass. like seriously its so terrible its the worst thing you have ever see

-i love emukasa (pjsk ship) like so much. LIKE SO MUCH. THEY ARE THE BEST M/F PJSK SHIP RIGHT NEXT TO RUINENE AND TOUKOHA

-speaking of, if u dont like wxs m/f or vbs m/f dni. like imagine being pressed over two teenagers kissing. that is so silly. anyways most of my ships are m/f i dont know why i have a lot of m/m and f/f ships tho. there is no way you can convince me haruka kiritani is straight she is a girl kisser. same w airi.

-mahou shoujo has my heart and soul <33

-i love ken shiraishi. whoever made an's dad design i love you so much he is such a dilf bro

-professional shitposter

-this is rlly cringe to admit. but. im one of those fictional other people ig? my f/o is arisa mochida from the hit game idolmaster cinderella girls starlight stage

anyways my tags are

fanfics - fanfics. obvi.

ok thats it idk what else to write

oh damn i made this too long. anyways. heres my carrd. it looks better on phone.

ok goodbye

[daenystheedreamer]

10, 11, 13, 21 for the hate game?

worst part of fanon

more a general fandom thing but when characters are boiled down to a trope. happens a lot in m/m fanfic because its all like romcoms essentially and since theyre gay they cant just have a gay best friend character they need a girl best friend. often the girl best friend is the canonical girlfriend of one of the guys in the pairing cos the author feels bad about ignoring her. and she is either super nice and cute or she is the sassy bitch. (example for the les mis freaks: cosette is the former, eponine is the latter. IYKYK) HATE this shit soooo much. sansa arya margaery ygritte The Jeynes all fall victim to this. they'll be there to quip and say '🙄 you boys are so stupid im #smartgirl you guys are obviously in love' basically becoming an author surrogate. cringe and evil and sexist despite being a transparent attempt at staying feminist cos you feel bad about ignoring women in favour of yaoi.

number of fandom-related words you've filtered

specifically asoiaf:

i just find them particularly annoying. looking through i realised i dont have much asoiaf stuff blacklisted... i think its because i like looking at things that make me mad. i like the adrenaline 😈 remind me to spend an hour blocking all the x reader tags im sick of seeing them and they never just tag it x reader. eugh.

worst blorboficiation

look. as a maegor the rapist and joffrey the psychopath blorbofier i really cant judge. i mean THEON is problematique and also a rapist. but its honestly aegon ii.... i dont get it!!! the eldest son thing + I GUESS jilted by his father is the only parts i get. he's just boring and lame and sucks idk 😭!!! he's just a incel to me im sowwy.... maybe if i actually watched hotd id like him Who knows. god and he doesnt even fuck a milf... the actor is cute though i like his british face.

for the main series. im sorry its roose!!! i follow and am followed by wonderful roosegirls but ill never understand it. girl WHY. roosefuckers i understand but roose as ur meow meow? ur poor meow meow?? genuinely please explain to me i am so curious...

part of canon you think is overhyped

idk if im answering this right but azor ahai/prince that was promised. i cant get into it. there are prophecies i love like the valonqar or the quaithe stuff but AA/PTWP are kinda mid... i think its because people too often use it as a way to go like MY guy is the most important no its MY guy. and its like guys thats so fckn lame!!! you cannot convince me that aa/ptwp are the Main point of the story

[nicegaai]

Thoughts on the theory that Hi//ma//ruya is a woman? I'm a truther myself but I never see anyone even entertain the possibility.

ooo ummm i see where they're coming from. i see it.

he draws very straight woman yaoi, no hint of a bara artstyle, and thats kinda sus. maybe if A Real Man was drawing hetarlia there'd be more emphasis on military stuff, war tactics ... the kind of thing men into history focus on. even the claims of jp nationalism boil down to "this is what is taught in 90%+ of the media available to me," no wild claims surrounding mr japan hes just a sweet old man uwu. if there were hints of actual extremism, mishima style, it would make me go yeah thats a dude, but nah. hes just, normal (abnormal for a man). all that + 15 years no face reveal...

but idk its been so long that its ingrained into my psyche that himapapa is a man. thats my dad. hes effeminate yes but thats because hes gay. he just really wanted to bang his (notably male) roommates while he was studying abroad and it changed him forever. hetlya wasnt very shoujo oriented in the first place, it got softer and cuter as time went on and it was clear that women were the fans. even now theyre insisting its a shonen.

i think if hima were a girl and the editors looked at the fanbase and saw all girls, theyd be like yeahhhh this is a girls show. but it feels like because hima is a guy they keep giving him the benefit of the Gender Neutral Manga doubt. maybe thats my american bias speaking tho.

tldr, if we got a Hima Is A Woman reveal i wouldnt be SHOCKED but at this time i dont really believe it either. id want stronger proof. anon, if you have receipts id love to explore the kitayume deeplore o_o !

[grimescum]

AH AND B4 I FORGET under the cut are some stupid ugly yandere simulator ocs i made when i was a baby. includes the original profiles for them with only minor edits made for saving space

yes u are free to laugh and make fun of them. i 100% agree i think theyre funny as hell

aiya cho old amino profile

Theme..?: "Stressed out", by TOP ( twenty one piolets )

Nationality: French

· First name: Aiya

· Last name: Cho

· Initials: AC

Name meaning: Aiya: beautiful silk

Cho: butterfly; born at dawn

Gender: Female

Sexuality: straight

Age: 16

Personality: Social butterfly

Club: Art

Crush: The art club leader

Additional info: [ None at this moment ]

Pronouns: her/they/she/it

Traits

· A slight Perv

If brave enough, she will try to spy on boys while they're changing.

· Homophobe

She will shiver when Yuri or yaoi is spoken of, but Will try her best to not offend anyone.

· Energetic

She used to always bounce around her house , and still does.

· Kind

She will respect anyone's opinions, and hope they will accept hers. She will gives things to people she doesn't know, and not give a single shit if they don't bring it back

Allies / Freinds

Allies: Saki and Musume.

Friends: Pinku, Sora , Juku ren and Mei.

Enemies: her own father, Budo Masuta, Pippi , Info-chan

Nicknames: Purple girl, A.A, grape , Purple swan , blurry-face.

Additional stuff

Favourite teacher: Mida Rana

Favorite site: DeviantART

Favorite YouTuber: Solar sands, Birdie

Favorite game: Earthbound, portal 2

Least favorite teacher: none

Least favorite site: none/scam sites

Least favorite YouTuber: None

Least favorite game: FnaF

back story:

Ayia grew up in France, it is unknown where her exact location was. Ayia moved a whole bunch due to issues , one of those issues was the fact that her father was a big pervert, and had multiple disgusting fetishes. Aiya hated her father, yet, Aiya's father loved her more than his own wife. Ayia's father compliments her everyday like it's apart of his schedule. Aiya's mother was completely different, however. Ayia thought her mom was perfect, Aiya thought everything she did was perfect. This caused Ayia's father to go into a rage. He had grabbed his gun and shot Ayia's mother in the arm. Ayia quickly grabbed her mother and rushed out. They then moved to Japan, fearing that Ayia's father would track them down. Ayia's mother found a school called "Akedemi high", and instantly asked if her daughter could be accepted, and much to their surprise, she was more than welcomed to attend.

Family Tree

Mother: "Perfect", in other cases, Mary Sue

Father: Perverted

Grandmother: Creep/pedophile

Grandfather: Kuudere

Dislikes: Her father, yaoi or Yuri, oranges, school, spiders,brats, tornadoes, natural disasters, dieing , starvation , raisins, and bugs.

Likes: Boys, cats, dogs, popular boys.

Interactions:

Killing someone in front of her: " Help! Someone! There's a murderer!" (she'll run home and call the police )

Seeing a puddle of blood: "Did someone get hurt..?"

Seeing you covered in blood: " did you get hurt? Are you okay?"

Task:

- if asked, your task Will be to retrieve her Barrett ( Idk if that's how you spell it ;-; )

" uhm, hello! I was wonf-won-wondering if you could ge-..find my barret?"

If declined: " oh..oy-okay then.."

If accepted: " w-really? Thank you! "

Location: Behind the shower rooms.

phobias

- Arachnapobia

- Agraphobia

- Ankylophobia

- Bacteriophobia

Hair: Long, purple hair that gradually starts to get green as it goes along. And two locks of hair resting on her shoulders.

Skin: Preset skin tone / slightly pale

Accessories: A barret and a bow.

Eyes: Light green.

Quotes:

" you have to fear more than just fear itself.. "

" wo-why are you so brave? Be scared! "

" maybe "

" hi-hello. "

hori burageto old amino profile

"I'll inform Kaga of your Incompetence and absolutely disgusting attitude."

Name~ Horī burūagēto

Name Meaning~ Translates to "Holly Blue Agate".

Age~ 18

Crush~???

Club~ Science

Additional information~ This student has been devoting half his life to another student that goes by the name "Kaga Kusha", although it isn't completely neassasary

Hair style~ Messy, Hair horns, with a Cowlick on top of his head.

Hair color~ light purple/violet

Eye color~ Dark purple

Accessories~ Science club accessory thingy-ma-Bobber

Horī burūagēto, nicknamed "Horn" by some, is the child of two Gem-lovers who met online because of their similarities. Then they had "Horī" after they had gotten married. Even as a kid, Horī adored science and everything involved with it.

biteki gomibako old amino profile

·–First name–·

×Biteki

translates to "aesthetic"

·—Last name—·

×Gomibako

Translates to “Trash”

·—Preferred nicknames—·

×Gomi

·—Age—·

×18

·—Persona—·

×Shy

Biteki Gomibako, also known as 'Gomi', is your average student attending Akedemi highschool.

Before, Gomi was picked on for being ‘Girly’ and ‘Weak’ just because he decided he liked things that girls would like. [E.G, dolls, doing other's hair, etc] sooner than he expected, he switched schools because his parents feared that he might get low grades (and self-esteem) because of the bullying.

Gomi will come into school with a small plush of a sheep in his arms. He loves it dearly although people think hes odd.

Throughout his routine, Gomi will stop several times to check his phone, in places mostly near the Art club. He'll be seen putting his plush on the ground against the wall and checking his phone. (For 1 minute atleast.) If Ayano is nearby, she could snatch the doll or leave it be. Leaving the plush alone will cause a task for yandere-chan to do, as Gomi is very forgetful and left it on accident. However, if you choose to steal it, Gomi will start hanging up “Have You Seen Them?” Posters, on them it shows a picture of his doll, and at the very bottom, “DOLL BELONGS TO SISTER” in bright red pen. Which is a obvious lie, since one, he doesn't have a sister, and two, if he DID have a sister, the doll would most likely be at his house instead of school.

sumāto on'nanoko old amino profile

Likes: Cake , flowers ,good students.

Dislikes: Trolls , spiders, movies

Teaches: Class 2-1

Nationality: German

Crushes / possible crushes : Hitachi Ai (crush)

Samuto, also known as Sam or Sammy, is a teacher at Akedemi high. She is a very absent-minded teacher that wouldn't notice notes being passed , or on rare occasions, cheating.

Samuto is a very passionate teacher that would never yell, no matter what.

problems / fears : Diabetes, arachnapobia (is that how you spell it?)

Samuto sneaks candy filled with sugar to school, and eats some when she's feeling nauseous.

A couple of ways you can eliminate her , is by taking her candy out of her purse.

There is then a 34 out of 100 chance that she will die by the end of the day from lack of sugar.

You can also eliminate her by killing with the traditional knife.

appearance: A teacher with the casual teacher outfit, she has a long , vibrant pink ponytail with a mint colored flower. She has a choker similar to Kizana's. Sumato doesn't have the perfect, hour glass body shape either, due to only watching memes after work.

hobbies: sewing, playing ROBLOX or undertale, polishing figures

Samuto can be a overly confident person at Times, and loves to wear a torn red scarf she found on the streets after work. She washed It when she got home, and now wears it on special occasions.

In her free time, she would usually slip on a mint green sweater and watch memes all day ._.'

Quotes:

- huh?

- what do you need?[ Was brauchst du?]

She Won't speak in German most of the time so the students won't get confused. She really can't pronounce English words without help from students or other teachers, because of this , the students might think she's talking about something else during a lesson.

small facts~:

- samuto loves toast

- Samuto is a gamer

- Samuto loves anything that's bread. Her favorite is most likely garlic bread.

Theme: bentrücknug , by Toby Fox

jitsuko hanami old amino profile

What I Like: Chocolate , being lazy , pastels , making people laugh!

Dislikes : Neko's, rude people, edgy stuff

Crush: N/A

Personality: Outgoing, awkward sometimes

Jitsuko hanami is a spoiled "brat", some people may say. This is mostly because she is the only child, or because she is a 'Himidere'.

Besides being a Brat, she's highly sensitive, and will possibly cry when too much hate goes toward her. She doesn't seem to understand what "Karma" is.

When she's not trying to make lame jokes, she's usually either playing her favorite games, drawing, or having massive headaches.

But, Jitsuko is a pretty nice person over all.

Full name• Jitsuko Hanami

Nicknames• Pastel-chan

Age• 18

Personalty• Himidere

Crush• N/A

Additional information•

Jitsuko, best described as "A bat", due to her lack of sleep, is a ordanary student at Akedemi high. She is quite bratty, though she can be nice when she wants to.

Likes•

-Anything Asthetic

-Solar Sands

-Bijuu Mike

-Steven Universe

-Getting What She Wants

Dislikes•

-Nekos

-Any Fast-Food Place

-Horrible Wi-Fi

-TV

yada haruko (now yuki hara) old amino profile

Likes: Cats, games , cats , cats , cats

Dislikes: Pencils , grass , grapes

Theme: SAVE the world , By Toby Fox

First name: yada

Last name: haruko

Initials: YH

Age: 16

Personality: bubbly ( social butterfly )

Crush: Rei izumi (I had to)

Additional info: those cat ears her wears all the time are fake, and only takes them off when he feels uncomfortable In them

Mental illnesses: N/A

Status: alive and healthy

Club: gardening club

Yada is the most social of everyone, though he isn't very popular, he manages to stay with his bubbly attitude. He is bullied sometimes because of his fake cat ears. He doesn't care.

Stalkers: none

Stalking: no one

Weaknesses:

-killing a cat in front of him

He Will kneel down beside the cat and mourn over it's death, then you can strike him

-stealthy killz

Killing him by using your skillz

Nicknames: Cinnamon, grape , cat

[nutzworth]

i talked with my friends so were doing more yaoi ratings of some peak yaoi i forgot about

shinji x kaworu from evangelion is the 4th 10/10. jesus. oh my god. look at them. i know theyre literally kids but like oh my god. i cant just DOCK POINTS from them for that look at how YAOI they are? so anime. so yaoi. just trsut me. levi x erwin attack on titan i think this also has to be another 10/10. sorry. im tossing 10/10s out like cheap cigarettes. its just the fanart is so 2000s. size difference/tsundere/workplace yaoi. catboy. i cant give it less than 10. kurapika x leorio hunter x hunter is probably an 8/10? theyre pretty damn yaoi i just. well. something about it. maybe its cus kurapikas DRESSED LIKE A GIRL IN SO MANY OF THE FANART!!!!!!!!! whats the deal witht hat anyway. i dont know hxh so i cant say anything on it. but from my research hes not a BEAUTIFUL WOMAN or anything. IS HE? i dont know. 8/10 thanks bye

[pansy-picnics]

Not to derail the convo too much but i want to add my own input onto this….it sucks bc there are multiple VERY clear reasons why yong and nuru are both pushed aside, but i feel like everyone is afraid to say the quiet part out loud.

- Nuru is a black girl

- Yong is an asian kid

- nuru and yong werent really pitched as main characters to begin with. Maybe they wouldve been, had the pitch been fully realized, but we can only really make educated guesses based on the little information we have. The entire story was really built around varian and hugo, fundamentally- and yeah, obviously we only have the brief outline, but said outline doesn’t really mention nuru and yong like, at all. Doesnt mention any character arcs for them, any prominent relationships, any development theyd have over the series- not even their reactions to hugos betrayal or their involvement in the final fight. its all just about varian and hugo. We can only ever assume, at any given moment, that theyre just….There. And so thats how everyone writes them- as background characters to varigo.

i dont think its wrong to build a story around one character, i mean kay and anna really just did it for fun and i dont see any problem with that- but when people try to make it into a fully realized story, it doesnt really work because there are basically only two main characters and two guys who are just There. so instead of the VAT7K Fandom we just end up getting The Varigo Fandom. i honestly do think its why so many people come and get hyperfixated on it for a few months and then leave. There just isnt really any content to work with, because there are only 4 characters and people are only fully utilizing two of them.

-Did i mention theyre a black girl and an asian kid next to a yaoi couple featuring White Boy #3567488 and Kind-Of-Racially-Ambiguous-Probably-White Onceler Jr because the implications there are Not Great.

I joke, i love them all, i promise, but it is really something that bothers me a lot, especially since ive been here for so long and i dont really consider myself “in” the fandom enough to like, get super obsessed with any of the characters and make 1000 fics and drawings of them. If anything vat7k is kind of like the tts dlc to me. Im mentally ill about varigo and i love nuru and yong to bits and have SO MANY thoughts about them but they just usually stay in my head because i dont have the energy to expel them in any efficient way LOLOLOL. At the end of the day i consider myself more of a tts fan than anything else.

bc nuru and yong never really had any substance to begin with, people cant usually get super attached to them past a surface level, and it gets REALLY frustrating.

- When it comes to nuru, im like, the whitest girl imaginable so i dont want to talk out of turn here but i do want to mention it bc nobody else seems to be willing to- the way nuru is made into either the mature “mom friend” of the group or the “sassy best friend” is something that makes my blood BOIL, because they both feel SUPER stereotypical considering that shes a 16 year old black girl!!! i’ve talked to my friend, who is black, about it a lot (Id tag him here but hes Not in the fandom so i dont want to drag him into this LMAOAOAO) but weve discussed how black girls are “adultified” by mainstream society and quite literally robbed of their childhood and innocence. they’re treated as “mature for their age” and are expected to act as such…..It makes the way people portray nuru as the “mature one” rlly gross to me 😭. and luckily i dont see that “mom friend nuru” AS often anymore, but when people dont do that, i feel like they kinda just turn her into the “sassy voice of reason” which just feels like a whole black best friend trope to me…..😭 Guh. I think just the best anyone can do is actually make her a fully realized character!!! She feels so one note so often 😭

- And yong…I feel like he so often just gets made to be the Baby of the group and the comic relief (which is DEFINITELY because hes also a fat kid but thats a Wholeee other can of worms (eye twitching)) And like that can be fun sometimes, but also i feel like the main appeal about team radical, at least to ME, is that theyre all just stupid petty teenagers who are unparented and sent on a little coming of age quest and they all probably immediately start beefing with each other like its fucking lord of the flies. Yong is Twelve Years Old guys. Have you ever met a twelve year old? Theyre at that age where theyre like weirdly edgy and think theyre the Shit and that every adult around them is a fucking idiot. Yong has the potential to be soooo fucking funny past just being the cutesy little baby of the group and i feel like people just arent really willing to explore that. And like he can still be the more emotionally open one too! I feel like he starts out a lot more silly and more of that steven universe type hes usually portrayed as, but the longer he spends with the gang he just quickly becomes equally as deranged as them LOL. Id love to see a much more mischievous yong whos sweet but also a Very insecure 12 year old and kind of a shithead. I think it’s such an untapped market.

Idk i dont think that if you just Can’t get attached to nuru or yong that you’re like…Bad or like. racist or whatever Thats not what im saying at all!!! bc i do think that kay and anna for all their amazing work on the pitch did kind of contribute to the problem bc of the way nuru and yong are shown, or, well. not shown in said pitch lol. And i also think that everyone should consider the implications these characterizations have and like…Try and challenge themselves to branch out a little more!! and i also feel like a lot of people who ARE nuru and yong fans already arent very loud in the fandom, cuz like, with how varigo centric the community is i think its just assumed by default that nobody cares….and if thats you i want to encourage you to please PLEASE speak up and make more content about them bc people DO care!!!! it is a niche that so many people are willing to invest in!!! Especially me!!! Please please please please im on my knees plea

Guys I NEED to rant about my thoughts on Nuru because i love her <3 ramblings ahead

Like I feel like in almost every fic i read, she's just like, a side character that's there to make whitty remarks to Hugo and be the levelheaded one. If she has an insecurity or problem it's usually pretty surface level and solved quickly, or only mentioned once or twice. I think there are SO many aspects of her character that are so cool.

Okay first, I think we sometimes forget that she's a nerd just like the rest of the gang. Yes, on the outside she's definetly the most 'normal' one, but I think we should concider the fact that she's the only girl in the group, and she's literal royalty. She was raised with a completely different set of standards than the other three. I don’t think I've really ever seen anyone cover that. I feel like she would get called "mature for her age" when she's only 15/16, and almost always gets critisism when she talks back with her own ideas (like her concerns about the meteor shows for example). I feel like out on her journey, she would finally get the freedom to just be herself, and be a kid and be able to rant on about her intrests with the rest of the group. It could be a struggle at first, but it would be awesome to see her getting more comfortable with the group the longer they spend together! Nerds encouraging nerdy rants lol

Since she is a kingdom figurehead, you could also argue that she always has a lot on her hands (especially since she's very proactive when it comes to science and solving problems). This could bring up a need to be productive, or always feeling like she needs to make the right decision, even for the littlest things.

I also feel like a lot of the time she's potrayed as the "right" one, who is 100% right when it comes to stuff like arguing with Hugo. Since they're opposites when it comes to class, they often are compared through that lense. I think it's cool just having Nuru tell Hugo off for judging a book by its cover, but I feel like they have a lot more in common than they realize. I think it would be interesting to see Nuru judging a book by its cover too. Maybe not to the degree that Hugo does, but I feel like calling out both their judging would not only call out character flaws, but it also enforces that even though they hate eachother and would never want to be like the other, they have a lot of the same flaws.

Also, being sheltered in a palace her whole life, I think she might think kind of black and white sometimes, and while she knows when people are just being mean as an act, she might struggle when it comes to people like reformed criminals.

Maybe she's able to be meaner to Hugo because she justifies it by telling herself he's criminal, and therefore bad, possibly glossing over the reasons he might be like that (maybe it crosses her mind, but she tells herself it's not a good enough reason, because stealing is still stealing, and he literally steals EVERYTHING. Even little trinkets and stuff he definitely doesn't need!). When they find out about Varian's criminal history, maybe she reexamines her views on morality and how she used to see people, because by her standards, Varian is a 'bad guy' who's caused harm to SO many people, but he's also the kind, caring, helpful friend that she's been traveling with who would never willingly hurt anyone.

Moving on to Amber x Nuru, I honestly never find myself liking the ship because Amber isn't developed enough which is fine. I don't think every character has to be a magnificent work of art. Side characters are side characters, but their romance is usually written like: "wow that girl is cute! I have a crush now!" Which is cool, but then that's about as far as it gets, then timeskip! Or offscreen they're a couple now. I know it's a side couple so it won't have as much devlopment as something like Varigo, but I never really see their dynamic play out in different situations. Like I don't know how to explain it, but it feels like they solely exist to be a couple? Amber sometimes just feels like an extention of Nuru, and their relationship feels surface level a lot of the time.

I feel like too often she's just watered down to the nice, smart, grounded friend, and I don't know I just think there’s so much more to explore with her. She’s not just some side character. She's literally part of the main cast! Even in fanart I feel like she doesn't really get a lot of stuff besides funny art and just like, pictures meant to look pretty. Unlike something you get a lot with characters like Varian or Hugo.

And honestly I get it. Some characters you just don't take an intrest in. I know I find Varian, Hugo, and Nuru more relatable than I find Yong, but I feel like part of that is developing their characters rather than just seeing them on a surface level. Ofc there are exceptions and there are some stories that dive deeper into Nuru's character out there! I just happen to see this A LOT.

Wow i said "surface level" a lot didn't I 😭😭

Anyway thank you for reading my rant i wanna know what you guys think!!

[royal-rainbow]

what are your thoughts on fujoshis/fudanshis?

honestly might not be my place in many ways to answer this question haha but if u want my maybe irrelevant take: tbh I think it’s bullshit? I get it that it can become a bit cringey and in - imo very rare - circumstances slightly predatory when a straight woman is obsessed w gay content, but at the end of the day these are literally derogatory terms against ppl who enjoy gay pairings in manga or whatever and words absolutely created out of homophobia and misogyny, and I don’t think it’s like good or woke to use them. I’ve had this rant a few times also but I need ppl to evaluate their priorities when they’re focusing literally any attention whatsoever on condemning “”fujoshis”” when like, 100% of straight men get away with openly fetishising lesbianism in a way that has significantly greater real world consequences.

[theygotlost]

FRANCIS. and donnie. and…… 🙈 ezzie… ezzie dax.

jesus christ this is long. im putting it under a readmore

franny:

Sexuality Headcanon: bisexual. I don't think he realized it until his teen/adult years and now it doesnt really affect his life much now since he married piama so young but I can also see him using the fact he likes men as a way to rebel against lois (sidnote i wouldnt really consider lois homophobic if any of her kids came out she would be like "well i believe in equality so I'm going to make all you boys' lives equally miserable regardless of your sexuality. idgaf if you're gay go clean the toilet". um anyway). i just think it would be funny if piama had a celebrity crush or something and she was like wow hes sooo hot and francis would b like yeah he is 🤨😳

Gender Headcanon: i think hes a whiny little cis boy sorry. francisgender

A ship I have with said character: i do think he and piama are cute together :) i just wish she was in the show more and had an actual personality and stuff >:(((((((

A BROTP I have with said character: I like when he's with the rest of his family and gets to hang out with his brothers :) DEWER ESPECIALLY there is something so special to me abt him taking care of dewey and being kinder to him than malcolm and reese are

A NOTP I have with said character: Any other time in the early seasons when he dated a random girl for 1 episode i was like. um ok? but i didnt really HATE any of those

A random headcanon: uhhhh i feel like i should have something prepared to say here but idk. I think he listens to. weezer. fuck this 

General Opinion over said character: FEMINIST WOMEN LOVE FRANCIS. also you already know every opinion ive ever had about francis already but hes so pathetic and stupid I need to squish him between my thumb and forefinger

don of tello lol:

Sexuality Headcanon: HES SO GAYBOY. LOOK AT HIS GAY ASS ANIME GIRL STANCE WHAT IS THISSSSSS

Gender Headcanon: i dont think he is cis or trans i think he is a turtle . i think he can swimming in the water for algaes.  hope this helps

A ship I have with said character: nobody... tbh the ninja turtles are kinda unshippable to me. theyre just Creatures they dont “date”. But im not that far into the show yet so maybe there is another character that he can have a yaoi moment with later. But im not counting on it

A BROTP I have with said character: obviously all 4 of da turtle brothers are awesome together but DONNIE AND MIKEY ARE BESTIE VIBES!! Theyre my 2 favorites and i love their dynamic esp since they get paired up kinda often. I feel like they are the closest to each other out of all of them cause they’re both kind of the “weird” ones. Theyre neurodivergent and a minor. Also i like that donnie calls mikey “michael” its funny

A NOTP I have with said character: theres not really any viable shipping options to like or dislike . other than like the really reprehensible stuff like incest which is just like Why. do you know how sad and upsetting it is that so many tmnt blogs have to stipulate “no incest” in their bio? Can we all be normal and regular please?

A random headcanon: definitely the most online guy. Its really funny to enivision him being like a discord mod and getting into fights with people on reddit. Basically this 👇

General Opinion over said character:  he’s kind so annoying but in a funny and endearing way (much like many of my favorite guys...) but he ourple so that makes up for it. My favorite tutle

ezzie:

Sexuality Headcanon: Dax and all their symbionts are like. Inherently and canonically bisexy

Gender Headcanon: everyone likes to take the “I’m having trouble with my pronouns!!” line out of context 😑 but for real she said “some mornings I don’t know if im a man or a woman until i pull back the sheet” which um... kinda transphobic... we CANCEL the ezri!!!! Jk she can be whatever you want baby. Any pronouns 

A ship I have with said character: MIRROR EZRI INTENDANT KIRA HOT SOAPY BOOBS YURI LESBIAN KISS

A BROTP I have with said character: she has no friends lol sorry. Theres not really any bestie vibes between her and sisko the way there was with jadzia

A NOTP I have with said character: ONE MILLION TIMES JEZRI. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!!!! umm also when she started making out with worf i was like fml. That episode got me feeling so worfzia warrior but only because i was thinking “damn i wish jadzia was still here and worf was making out with jadzia instead.” it just feels weird to me 

A random headcanon: idk what do you want me to say. shes so tumblrina.General Opinion over said character: i know ive tormented you enough with the senorita awesome video but that really is how i see her. Im so sorry sam please dont be mad at me but I just don’t like her that much. She’s so #QUIRKY and its really grating. And I know that she didn’t formally complete her training but she is NOT a good ship’s counselor. If i went to my therapist and told her i was depressed or whatever and she was like “yeah sometimes i wanna kill myself too 😋 the #intrusivethoughts are so AWKO TACO!!” i think i would blow my brains out. But in Field of Fire when she was trying to solve that murder case and was hunting down that vulcan guy with a cool gun that was the ONE epsiode where i liked her and thought she was cool. I would like her more if she was badass like that more of the time

[neo-discourse]

Oh boy the streamer group I love them but their fans are just awful and I never wanna be in the same room/be associated with them ever.

Bro just because someone makes dick and ball jokes doesn’t mean anything about their fuking sexuality and they’re all into women at least because how many fucking ‘big toddy goth gf’/‘big ghost girl booba’/‘hot women’ jokes have I heard/have I heard them actually thirst over??

Also the fans will just dog pile anyone that says anything negative about them which annoys me more than the og statement being made if I’m being honest.

It’s like this

Someone: ‘hahaha they’re losers they don’t get 10000000 ccv and only 12000!!! Ahaha!!’

Their fans: oh my fucking god? How could you say that? Omg? *sarcastic statement about how they’re the loser for caring about ccv or whatever*

But there’s only one hater and like ten thousand people getting on their case and idk maybe it’s just me but I find it really annoying like,,, just ignore it?

And then god forbid you criticise the talent some way and in a negative way!! Oh dear lord forgive you for saying shit about a anime boy on YouTube in a tweet!! Dear lord above in heaven don’t say that theyre bad at singing or bad at what they do!! They may be able to take criticism/hate but dear lord their fans can’t

Oh now suddenly everything makes sense if I consider most of them to be those that don’t follow a religion, what do they replace it with? Good lord in heaven above how did I just realise it. It’s in the fucking brand selling point as well ‘idols’ dear lord

God gave me all of the dumb brain cells cuz he knew I’d be op with the smart brain cells >:)

The streamers fans are also definitely apart of the rainbow alphabet mafia so that’s GREAT! The Fucking calls someone a homophobe because his brother/family visits a church (Chris Pratt) brigades here

Oh and don’t forget YOU HAVE TO SUPPORT THE LGBTQIABITCH community to also enjoy these streamers! How do you know that, you may ask? I have no clue, because Twitter freak said so! I guess because the girls Yuri bait? Sometimes? Maybe the boys yaoi bait as well? Sometimes? Vague thing that is also popular in the annoying rainbow rat communities as well as in gaming communities? Could it be narcissism that only a certain type of people can like the thing because you like it and people you don’t like can’t like the thing? No clue sorry.

Are the talents openly lgbt? A few of them I think? I only know one that might be, the rest is on their roommate accounts. If they are it’s well hidden (I don’t watch their streams lol)

If you don’t know who I’m talking about at this point, good job for not being super into anime people online I guess? For having a life? For touching grass?

If u do shhhh I really don’t wanna talk with others in the fandom I need to watch more of the loony bin sad girl company at least my oshi from that corpo can’t get cancelled for playing a video game.

You ever find a streamer or whatever and you’re just ‘oh this is really cool!’ Then you find out that everyone else that likes them are the shitty K-pop fans that act like you can’t be racist against white people and that saying that something from some black or Asian culture is kinda weird is a micro aggression (for some reason but against Americans and the British it’s okay?) and now you’re just trying to enjoy the streamer while ignoring the fans but the fans are so loud and obnoxious (and super fucking rich for some reason?) and you have no clue how this streamer got these fans and you just wished that he did more streams that appealed to a different audience but you can’t because you can’t control what a streamer does but you literally can’t talk with anyone about what you like about his streams cuz everyone is fucking crazy and you just wanna talk about his streams in a normal way but there’s so much real person fan fics about him and his streaming buddies that your having flashbacks to septiplier and your scared because holy shit you don’t write fanfics about real people! Especially shipping shit!

[fox-steward]

hi. i hope you don't mind me asking this but i need some advice.

i was born female, and ive always been a tomboy, sometimes in the most stereotypical way. i was also a little lesbian who didn't know it yet. but after my younger sibling came out to me as trans, i started second guessing everything about myself.

for the sake of my sibling, who im closer to than anyone in my life, i learned about what theyre going through to support them and ended up getting taken in myself. i consumed all the yaoi and gay fanfiction they did, i read up on all the identities that were within the trans umbrella and eventually i started to think i wasnt a girl at all, but my infact a feminine transboy.

i never was able to transition on account of my family but the growing inner hate i felt for myself made me want to because deep down I knew that no matterr what i said or believed, id never be the cis gay boys i, essentially, fetishised and craved to be. it made me miserable, but i wanted to be accepted so badly that i stuck with it. but then i fou d your blog and others like it, and reading through it, whole reevaluating myself made me realise how misguided my mindset was.

despite realising that me being a tomboy is perfectly fine, i cant help but cling to that idea of being a boy, even though i have no idea what it means to "be a boy" or "feel like a boy". all i know is what the media portrays boys, feminine boys and gay boys to be like, and i clung to that idea for so long that i believed it to be my identity.

i just wanted to ask, if i can, how can i get over this mindset? i feel terrible because my younger sibling still identifies as trans without a shadow of a doubt, and my questioning of myself makes me feel awful, but i also feel bad because... i dont know who i am really now. how can i just be me again?

sorry this is long. any advice would be very very much appreciated.

it sounds like you’ve been through it, anon. whew! i just wanna acknowledge what a mindfuck you’ve been through, and it’s normal to feel no so great.

i actually think you’re grieving, strange as that sounds, but hear me out. being female is not easy, being a masculine woman comes with its own set of challenges, and imagining yourself as a “gay transboy” was an escape from all that. you could imagine a future for yourself where you grew up to be a gay man, not a gay woman. it’s worth noting relationships between men are the only sexual/romantic pairing that isn’t party to misogyny within the relationship itself.

it’s intoxicating to imagine we could have that ourselves, huh? it happened to me too, and i’m not even actually attracted to males at all, i was really just seduced by the idea of a relationship of equals.

but this. is. a. fantasy. one we as female people can never achieve.

so you’re grieving the vision you had for your future. your grief doesn’t care that the thing you promised yourself is impossible.

you’re undergoing another shift in the way you see yourself, the way you imagine yourself moving through the world. that’s hard, anon. being a tomboy, while absolutely lovely and perfectly fine, can be really difficult in our misogynistic society. it’s like that dworkin quote i’m about to butcher—something something absolutely excruciating to be fully aware of the misogyny all around us. you get the gist. and she’s right, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.

so idk, i don’t have any specific advice, but i do know a lot about grief. with grief, you gotta accept you’re gonna feel shitty for a while and absolve yourself of the responsibility of ~fEeLiNg HaPpY~ for now. i’m being flippant because happiness is a mirage anyway. we get pricks of joy, moments of brightness or laughter, flow and contentment, enjoyment, pleasure, and these fill in between other moments of discomfort or monotony or tedium or malaise or or or. and if we’re lucky we are aware when the good stuff is happening, so that we can pause and say, gee this is nice. and if you get enough of then and you’re aware enough as they’re happening, perhaps you can tie it up in a bow of hindsight and call it contentment.

tangent, sorry. practically, keep yourself busy and tire yourself the fuck out, tbh. when my wife left, i started just going and doing things, anything i didn’t actively NOT want to do. dancing, concerts, art class, bike ride, walk a friends dog, cooking class, sit in a field and listen to music.

just do anything. i know it’s hard during covid, but it isn’t so much WHAT you do but THAT you do. take the field example—you have to travel there (that kills time!) and maybe you walk or bike (that is physical activity) then you do the thing you planned to do (takes more time) and you have to travel home (more time and activity) then you have completed something you set out to do (an achievement/free endorphins).

i also took up running when she left (tire myself the fuck out) and that changed so much for me. with grief, rumination and sleeplessness plagued me; running took both those out of the equation. so my sleep improved, i got stronger and my cardiovascular fitness improved, i ate better, i got to see myself improve and achieve goals, got to build an identity separate from who i was in my marriage. so i cannot recommend running enough.

and as for identity, finding out “who you are”—identity is a trap. don’t cement yourself to any one thing because everything changes. don’t define yourself by externalities, just be open and curious about your inner life, your qualities (which are also able to change btw) and start to strengthen the ones you like, like training a muscle. i practice (literally practice) kindness and discipline, which are important qualities for how i see myself. i also practice at compassion and i like how these things make me feel and how i show up in the world when i’m practicing at them. what qualities will you train in yourself?

you’re not defined in relation to your sibling, btw, and they aren’t defined in relation to you. you can question transness while still loving them.

you’re gonna be just fine, anon. you have plenty of time. grieve the future you can’t have, even though it’s truly for the best, and cultivate a person in yourself you’re excited to be. good luck.