#they've given me bad vibes for a long while but

[mcmuppet]

this may be a hot take but i'm sorry the pit stop boys piss me off

how are you, with a popular f1 podcast, gonna go on screaming meals and say, and i quote: "we're not massive diehard f1 fans"

bffr

[simplydnp]

hey there!

I kind of consider you the resident dnp expert (at least in dnp culture) so I wanted your opinion on a question that's been building for a while now.

What are the boundaries for dnp now?

There are so many things that I feel have changed even in the last four years: writing smutty rpf was Gross and Weird, along with art along that line, speculating about their relationship was ABSOLUTELY a no-go, all things that I see happening on Tumblr now. And I'm not saying that's a bad thing!! I'm just acknowledging things have changed over time. They're different people now and so are we, and the "we know you know" era is lots of fun.

I was browsing reddit today (bad idea, do not recommend) and came across a post from a new Phannie asking if DnP were in a relationship. And while I agree that we cannot say for absolute certain that they are, the responses had a VERY different vibe than on here, emphasizing how bad the speculation was (true) and essentially saying "don't even think about that, just enjoy their content." (or something to that extent.)

Which... is very different from this here website in which we joke about them being horney for each other constantly lmao.

Being a very rules-driven person, I like expectations to be made abundantly clear for pretty much everything. So that's why I want to ask: Is there a line here? Are we crossing that line? How defined is that line? (All of this, of course, I recognize is your opinion and yours alone, and if this is posted I encourage anyone else to share their two-cents in a respectful way.)

Obviously, trying to find out where they live/things like that is very clearly crossing a boundary. But is there some sort of limit or boundary I (and tbh the rest of the phandom), in your opinion, should be keeping in mind?

thanks xx

hi!

'resident expert' is a hefty title, i'm just here trying my best!

'what are the boundaries for dnp now?' is really a great question. cause the thing is, we used to know. there used to be a fairly well-defined and mostly agreed upon line, and ever since the dapg revival in particular, the line keeps moving.

i'll be honest, i never really saw phanfic as rpf, even though it is. my stance on phanfic is the same as dnps: it's a beautiful expression of art and creativity and is so, so important. they've always been pro-fic (even though we subjected them to some absolutely horrific crack fics), so i don't think 'smutty' fic has ever been gross or too far. they've given their blessing, and, as the conversation has been in fandom communities the last few years, rpf isn't 'for' the people in them, it's for the fans. so i digress.

art is much the same way. they love art! they even included art of them kissing in a tumblr tag video back in the day, so to say that's not allowed especially after they're out is kind of crazy to me.

i think the line with stuff like that was showing it directly to dnp--tagging them in explicit stuff, that kind of thing. but creating it? go for it! it's always been a green light. (i think fans have previously overpoliced this and we lost a lot of great fic, art, and community members over it)

browsing reddit is always a Choice. i've never participated on dnp reddit before but i am aware that it is an entirely different space than here. something that's important, i think (and i think you think this too as you're asking about them), is to respect the fandom rules of the place you partcipate in. tumblr is generally one of the most phan-positive places on the internet, especially publicly facing. we make a lot of relationship jokes, particularly because we run on the assumption it's already true, based on what they've both said publicly (mostly dan).

i won't comment on reddit specifically just because i'm not a part of the community there, but the speculation about dnp online was a Lot for a long time. but the worst part of it was the stalking, the digging into personal lives, the contacting family members--that is what was bad. dnp have always had a connection--and, honestly, they kind of love flexing it and kind of always have. they absolutely play into things now, but they certainly did even way before coming out too. i think a certain level of speculation was to be expected, especially in that era of online fandom. but it wasn't just the 'teenage girls' who cared, the media did too, and so did many others.

i think one of the biggest differences now is 1 the awareness of 'our' past and trying to make up for it, and 2 the broader societal conversations about parasocial relationships.

you see this reflected on the snippets ive seen from dnp reddit and dnp twitter. they tend to be Very 'cautious' about the words they say, often undercutting perfectly reasonable statements with 'but whatever their relationship is'. on one hand, they don't want to cross a line, and i can respect that. on the other hand... it's 2024 babes. they just put out merch of them holding hands. dan's directly, intentionally, and explicitly called phil a bottom on dapg. they reacted to all of the pinofs, made jokes about 'theyre touching', and even joked about the tackle being 'wrestling 👀'. dan posted half-naked catboy pics and showed us phil was taking them. the 'watch your step babygirl' tweet & their reactions to it. phil is credited in WAD. they're making threesome jokes about themselves as a unit. i could go on and on.

to me, there's a few things that have 'moved the line' for us, so to speak.

1 - DAPG returning. for the last few years they specifically were not a duo (for projects) anymore. (and no, not because they hated each other). they just weren't. they wanted to focus on their goals and projects. they didn't have to resurrect dapg, but they chose to. marketing and money aside, they knew that if this went over well, it would well and truly revive the 'dan and phil' brand again. it would be specifically returning to being a duo in the public eye. (however they've also fully embraced this in all aspects, including merch, videos, and general attitude)

2 - pinof reacts. even though they'd been out since 2019, we hadn't had regular joint content from them since before that, therefore, while they had become more comfortable with themselves and their 'outness', we hadn't (in terms of them making explicit gay jokes together). so i really think dnp had to de-fang a lot of the 'theyre touching' of it all, because we didn't really know where we stood on it anymore. i think they succeeded, too. we couldn't be here, with the content of the last 3 months, without them tackling it head on (well, as head on as they're want to do).

3 - dapc. genuinely another big shift. they did this for the real fans. purely a passion project, and a specific choice in doing the handhold. they know what we're like. and this wasn't a brief, unplanned, unscripted moment. it's a specifically blocked out scene. they know it's opening a door, and they chose to. this is doubled by the fucking iconic merch selling, and furthered by phil's twitter likes of arguably romantic phanart, and then dan's full straddle like.

even throughout the current 6 months of revival, the line has moved. i don't know where it will settle. dnp keep moving it, in my opinion, and, genuinely, i don't think it's going to leave much to the imagination. as you say, obviously not the stalking or the contacting, but beyond that? especially here on tumblr? i wouldn't get too worried. obviously people will have their opinions, but as long as you're generally respectful and recognize that humans will see your posts and humans interact with them, i think you're good.

my rule of thumb is anything they intentionally put on the table, we can joke about or at the same level. but in terms of art/fic? go off, live your dreams. dan and phil would want you to.

[warmblanketwhump]

hello hello! after an accidental hiatus, I'm back with an entry into the surrender an ask game that @save-the-villainous-cat and @epiclamer put together where we all swapped asks. thanks so much for doing this!!!

here's my ask: Hi! I’ve become obsessed with your Hero Gets Yanked By An Upstanding Citizen Into Their Window And Into Their Heart post and I was wondering if you could- maybe- on the off chance- if you have time- come back to it for another scene? I just love the duo’s dynamic so much, the lovable hero who is trying a little too hard at any given chance, and the citizen who is wholly unafraid to manhandle a superhero into their home and into their life. That’s the vibes I was getting from their short interaction anyway- I love them so much aaagugfyduhijigififiguftgb your writing makes me go insane” Submitted by @yourheartonfire

The hero checks once, twice behind their shoulders, then collapses on to the rickety fire escape. It's off the beaten path, away from anyone. Sure, there's a little prickle of guilt that it's a Saturday night, and there are probably dozens of crimes afoot that need their attention.

But the past few weeks have run them absolutely ragged. If they didn't know better, they'd think that someone was scheming against them deliberately. call after call, summons after summons, each one more dire than the last.

People count on them—people need them, and they like the feeling of being needed. But they're exhausting, aching, injured, absolutely spent. Their leg throbs with a recent injury that they haven't had time to treat, and they can't remember the last time they slept more than three hours at a time.

They lean their head back against the scarred brick of the apartment building, letting their eyes slip closed....

.....and when a wailing siren sounds in the distance, the hero tries not to whimper.

Get up. It's time to go.

And they do get up. Too quickly.

Their toe catches on the edge of the rickety fire escape, and before the hero can react, they're falling, tumbling, twisting, too exhausted and spent to do anything to stop the inevitable pull of gravity on their body.

The last thing they see is the extended metal overhanging of the fire escape before pain shot through their body, and darkness overtook them.

_________________

The hero hoped that when they awoke, they'd somehow find themselves in their own spase, yet comfortable bed, that the last two months had been just a nightmare.

Instead, they hear frustrated, disembodied grunts and feel someone pulling at them, tugging them over something hard and metal and painful for their aching body.

"Get...in...here..."

The hero wants to swat the hands away, but their limbs are dead weight at their sides, and their voice gets stuck in their throat when they try to cry out. So darkness falls again.

_________________

When the hero wakes a second time, they're aware of a throbbing in their bad leg and a pounding in their head, and an ache that's more painful than anything they've ever felt. They're in a dark room, save for a softly glowing salt lamp in the far corner, and they're aware of being tucked under a thick, soft blanket on some sort of couch or daybed.

It's comfortable, safe, warm—and wrong. They have no idea where they are or who they're with, nor how long they've been there, nor how many lives have been lost while they've been knocked unconscious.

They try to call out, but the "hey" comes out as more of a raspy whisper, and the blanket is far too heavy for them to toss from their broken body. In their efforts to move, something gets knocked over with a crash.

"Hey, hey, hey now, don't move. Shhhh." A figure darts into the room and the hero feels two hands against their shoulders, pressing them back into the bed.

"W--where..."

"You're....here. At my apartment. Figured I didn't want to leave you out on my fire escape all night." The shadowed figure flicks on another lamp and the hero winces, hand flying to touch their face—

Their bare face.

A strangled cry flees their throat. Not only have they failed their city, but someone's seen their face, seen how utterly, desperately ordinary they are beneath it all. This someone knows who they are and could ruin it all. Their eyes flicker up to see the stranger standing at the foot of their bed, holding their disguise tenderly in their hands.

"I'm so sorry....I didn't want to take it off, but you were bleeding from a pretty nasty forehead cut, and I didn't want to leave it too long." The stranger's hand lightly ghosts over their hairline, and the hero realizes there's some sort of thick bandage over where the throbbing is radiating from. "I won't tell a soul. Promise. If you have some sort of mind control....thing, you can even erase my memories, if you want, but you need like....a ton of medical attention first. I've done first aid and an outdoor wilderness survival class a couple times, but you probably need some kind of doctor, but I get if you don't want to do that with your identity and all that...."

"Won't....won't bother you" the hero slurs, trying to sit up again, before collapsing back down. Try as they might, they couldn't leave this cursed couch.

"Oh no, no, you're not bothering me at all. You just sorta...freaked me out, is all. And there was a TON of blood, and I couldn't just leave you there, so I just kinda—" the stranger motions with their hands "yanked you right in here, did some first aid, and here we are." The stranger adjust the blankets, tucking the hero in tighter. "You looked pretty banged up."

I supposed I did, the hero muses to themselves. "It's....been a rough few weeks. But I'm okay."

"You sure?" The stranger's brows furrow, and their hand gestures to their leg. "I'm no doctor, but that gash on your leg looks...pretty bad. Shouldn't someone be looking after that?"

Hero hears the subtext of the question. Shouldn't someone be looking after YOU?

The hero isn't quite sure what to say to that. How long has it been since someone tended their wounds, tucked them in, brought them in from the elements, and asked how they were?

"I'm....I'm alright." Hero's mortified to hear the smallest wobble in their voice.

"Hero, that's not what I asked." The stranger's voice is firm, yet gentle, their hand resting on their uninjured knee.

"Right." The hero sniffles, suddenly unable to speak.

The stranger seems to understand the thousand thoughts of the hero's mind that flood the silence, then gently pats their other uninjured leg. "Well, in that case, it's time we get started now that you're awake. I'll get the bandages, and we'll really get you cleaned up and take stock of how much healing you've got ahead of you. No promises, though—I told you, it's only a couple first-aid classes, so don't you judge my wound dressings."

Hero's suprised to hear their own thin, crackly laugh. "Wouldn't dare."

[theamityelf]

In your Kamakura Wrangler Au could you rank who would be the most likely to hurt/endanger Makoto to the least likely to hurt/protective of him out of the students please?

That is a great question.

Honestly, I think his greatest protector (in terms of effectiveness) would actually be Hiro. While he's not actively protecting him or staying with him most of the time, he often does little things to set the right future in motion to protect him. In general, Hiro happens to lack the kind of hollow boredom that most Kamukuras feel; like I mentioned, his vibe toward everything is just that he is watching reruns of real life. Makoto is a recurring character he likes well enough on a show he's seen plenty of times. (The only show. The only channel. But it's not a bad one. It might even be really good, if this were his first time watching.)

Plus, Makoto's luck can occasionally surprise him. One time, Makoto trips and spills food on himself, and Hiro surprises everyone by actually laughing, because wow! A new scene for once!

Second most protective, of course, is Taka. He is vigilant about making sure none of the other Kamukuras kill this innocent and normal person. I think Kyoko and Byakuya would come around to protecting Makoto, too, but initially their vibe might be more, "You won't survive here for very long, so tell me this, before you die..." Taka is protective right away.

The only catch there is, Taka values Makoto's humanity so much that there is a non-zero chance that, if he thinks the scientists will change Makoto into one of them, he might mercy-kill him. It wouldn't be his default response. He's significantly more likely to attack the scientists or whoever else is posing a danger to Makoto than Makoto himself. But if he's identified it as impossible to protect Makoto from being Kamukurified, he would view death as the kinder, more ethical alternative. It would be very quick and painless, and he would cry for the first time, after. Makoto's ability to sway Taka's view on the humanity of the Kamukuras is so, so important to how well everything goes. Though the increasing investment of Byakuya and Kyoko would be helpful.

And Chihiro would also be a big help. They're usually hiding (and as a Kamukura, they're really good at it), so Makoto's conversations with Chihiro read like conversations with a ghost, but the arc there is that gradually Chihiro starts to become a physical presence. Eventually leading to Chihiro protecting him if and when it becomes necessary. Maybe someone thinks they've gotten Makoto alone, his allies are elsewhere, and they can attack him, but lo and behold Chihiro appears and saves him.

Mukuro initially protects Makoto only from being taken away by the scientists. Her strong sense of personal loyalty from before is now expressed as a rigid bond with the new collective, meaning she is very strict about the treatment of the Kamukuras. They have been given this resource, they have negotiated his use, so the scientists are not allowed to take him. Makoto always has Taka on one side of him, but when the scientists enter the room, Mukuro immediately stands at his other side. I think the two of them don't talk all that much, but she still grows fond of him from what few conversations they do have and how positive a force he's been for the other Kamukuras.

On the other side, of course Junko might harm or kill him just on an impulse. More likely harm than kill; despair is one thing, but she does actually need the enrichment. The thing is, the more he interacts with her, and especially the more he reminds her of the past and maybe helps some of her memories return, she might start to actively enjoy despair again, instead of just feeling the impulse toward it. And this time, she's got all the talents of a Kamukura. She would be extremely thankful to him, and killing him might be an expression of that thanks. Or she might keep him on hand as she develops into her new self, with the understanding that she'll kill him when it will hurt her most. If she actually starts to care about what's happening, she can manipulate her friends' eccentricities to get Makoto to herself. (Give or take a wild Chihiro.)

Sayaka would actually be something of a problem, not because she actively bears him ill will, but because she can't handle his attempts to be present as a friend and support for her. Her way of making sense of the trauma she underwent in the Kamukura Project, and even more so the very particular brand of demeaning that is being one of many Kamukuras, is to perceive herself as the one person who doesn't need any help, support, enrichment, or anything. She's supposed to be the one who can help everyone, and then Makoto shows up and talks to her in ways no one ever has, tells her about a past self she's not supposed to yearn for, etc. If she wants or needs it, then suddenly what she went through was just a pointless thing that harmed her and not the thing that made her what the world needs. She feels she needs to take him down several pegs. But I believe she can overcome it.

Hina is a danger, but she doesn't particularly mean to be; she's just very curious and she assigns no positive or negative moral value to any means of exploring that curiosity that pops into her mind. She'll mitigate her own more destructive thoughts because the group will have made agreements as to how to engage with Makoto, but for anything they haven't made explicit agreements about, there is no guarantee she won't hurt him. Even once she considers him a friend, it would be a separate thing for her to fully understand why suffering is a thing that people actively avoid, because she just doesn't factor suffering into her own thought process at all. (She understands suffering, functionally, and she has a full grasp on the ways in which it motivates and influences people's actions, but her own relationship with suffering colors her understanding of what it means that most people avoid it. Not to mention she's an analyst who spends a lot of time around Junko; her data is skewed.)

Celeste will become a danger if it will help her escape, but in most circumstances it won't.

Mondo will become a danger out of agitation over changes in the status quo, since they cause him to feel a lack of control. Like Sayaka and Hina, I believe he can overcome that.

Hifumi and Leon will be more into watching from the sidelines than anything. When Makoto befriends them, they still won't be too active. Sakura I think would be pretty neutral to him. And I'm going to say Toko likes him but does nothing for him.

[leonawriter]

I'm sure I've said this before some time in the past, but- there's certain ships that since they have no foundation in canon and one or more of the two are already canonically attracted in a monogamous way to someone else... I tend not to feel any sense of attachment to the fandom portrayal of them, because usually (not always! just often enough that it sticks in my head) the impression I get is that fanon erases the pre-existing attraction one or either of them has, in order to make things more... simple. Or something. So I see that, and I lose interest.

But the thing is, if the fanworks I see accept and address the fact that one or more of the people in the ship used to be attracted to/in love with someone else? I'd be WAY more likely to get on board the ship!

It does several things for me.

One: It doesn't disregard canon in a way that makes me feel like certain things are being retconned purely for the fan-preferred/author's ship. Often I'm a fan of how things actually go in the canon, or I just use it as a base point of reference, so if something's been thrown out and it feels arbitrary... that's off-putting.

Two: it keeps their core personality traits intact. This might sound weird, but it's a fact that who we are changes depending on who we're most interested in at any given time. If a character has been seen crushing on someone so badly that they base parts of their own personality on matching someone else, that's not something you can or should easily ignore, given how big of an effect that is. And when it comes to relationships, you'll notice that the vibes they give off shift how the characters act and are written/portrayed. Some pairings with one character have them be soft, while others have them sharper.

Three: I enjoy seeing characters go "I used to like [x], those feelings were real, but [I moved on]/[they don't like me back, so I had to move on] and now I've started to like someone else." I like to see that sense of progression. Especially if the canon has them all as teens, it's more realistic to have not all of them create their livelong commitments in the course of one year when they're 16! Some, sure, it's fun - but not all. Let them make mistakes, break up, move on, find someone else.

Four: It... honestly adds nuance and depth to the characters - both in a pairing - if they're shown moving on, and/or attracted to someone who either still has feelings for another person, or who's moved on. Give them a bit of time. A bit more maturity. As said above, not everyone finds true love at 16 or so. Having that happen is simple, it's cute, and it's kind of like a fairy tale - but there are other ways to have it work out without making it love at first sight.

But really. How do they feel about this? How does the first person feel about how long they've had someone feel that way about them? Is there a dance of "the last time we knew each other you were still tagging after [other person], are you available now?" or is it more "I want to attempt asking them out, but I'm too nervous in case it's not wanted" when at this point, it'd be welcomed?

Have Character A be there for Character B when they've realised they'll never be with C!

Maybe they even just see each other as "just friends" for the longest time, until someone goes "doesn't your idea of a perfect partner sound like [A]?" and it's the first time they've thought of that.

And in the case of both of them having previously been attracted to the same person (no matter how much or how little), there's the evergreen "oh fun, we can roast [C] together now!"

So like... so many of those ships aren't even bad. I just wish I could see them having gone through a progression from "where they're at in canon" to "where they're at crushing on someone other than their canonical crush/love interest" more, y'know? Even if it's just handwaved as having happened in the past!

[semper-legens]

29. Hidden, by PC and Kristin Cast

Owned: No, library Page count: 302 My summary: The truth is out. The world know how terrible Neferet is - or, at least, they should. But while she's been shunned from the House of Night, Neferet is working her evil magic on the humans surrounding it. She's conned herself into the mayor's office, into a penthouse suite, and into a dangerous position for Zoey and her friends. The Darkness still needs sacrifices. And what better victim than Grandma Redbird? My rating: 1/5 My commentary:

Speedrun, speedrun, only got three more of these let's go! What else is there to say about the House of Night at this point? Not a lot. It's still bad, it's still offensive and bigoted, it's still a giant piece of shit. And I'm still getting a perverse kind of joy from seeing just how bad it is. Seriously, though I'm going to be glad to see the back of this series, I don't actually regret having read it. If nothing else, it's a great what-not-to-do when it comes to crafting a story. Just do the absolute opposite of House of Night, and you've made a reasonably solid story! Yay! Anyway, let's get into it.

So, picking up from the pointlessness last time, we kick off here with Lenobia and a fire in the stables. And we learn one more thing about Lenobia! Is it about her as a character, or about her relationship to sex and romance? Surprise! The latter. Yeah, turns out Lenobia's pointless sexy cowboy is actually the reincarnation of her lost love from when she first came to America in the 1700s. After he died (because she failed to save him, natch) she swore she'd never love another person. Travis is that guy's soul come back to her after so long, and it's a stupid plot point for two reasons. Reason one - the dead lover was a black man from New Orleans, while Travis is explicitly white. Which…is not a good look. Black lover is fridged, white lover is endgame. Given that the only other men of colour are Kalona and Rephaim (maybe? I don't remember if Rephaim is actually described as looking Cherokee) this is not a particularly good look. Reason two - we're just doing soulmates, I guess. Lenobia has exactly one person she's allowed to be in a relationship ever. Zoey's thing with Heath (more on that later) is a very similar vibe, they're just ~cosmically connected~ and so they've gotta be endgame. People aren't allowed to develop attractions to each other! Don't be silly! You've got to get with the one person you're cosmically destined to be with! Bleh.

Most of the ongoing plot of this one concerns Neferet's rise in human society, a plot point that…does not really go anywhere. It's not even that Neferet needs to struggle to get to the top in human society, she literally just goes up to the mayor like 'you support me unconditionally now' and he's like 'duh you're hot okay sure'. It's bizarre how mundane the conflict between Neferet and Team Zoey is here. Team Zoey are trying to make her seem like a disgruntled ex-employee, and both sides are using the news media to influence people to their way of thinking. Which, given that Neferet's 'exposing' Stark as a murderer, feels…disproportionate? The worldbuilding, or lack thereof, is being thrown into focus here. Surely the police would have something to say about Stark being a murderer? Like, it's established that the vamps are allowed by the police to take care of their own security and policing and such, which is fine, but a) this has not come up so often and b) the amount of vamps there are in the world makes this suspect? At various points, the worldwide vamp population has been implied to both be substantial and not so much. Almost every celebrity has been said to be a vamp in this world, and yet vamp numbers are actually small enough that the world governments apparently just let them take care of themselves with no other oversight. Vampires are supposed to be both incredibly powerful and influential and also a minority, both at the same time? It's vague to the point where you're obviously not meant to think about it, but incidents like this just bring into light the fact that it hasn't been well thought through. Hey, Casts? If you're not gonna worldbuild this stuff, don't bring it up.

More Aurox…ugh. Once again, we're circling the 'badboy redeemed' trope. Honestly, it wouldn't even bug me that much if it wasn't exactly the damn same every time it showed up. The Boy has done some shitty things, but feels bad about them and wants to change. Some people won't give him the time of day, but at least one other person, usually his love interest, is ride or die for him and totally believes he has changed. Over time, the change is proved to be correct, usually with one big heroic action. Stark, Rephaim, and Kalona have all had this arc. Can we have a different arc please. It's getting boring.

So the big climax to this one comes when Neferet kidnaps Grandma Redbird to use her as a sacrifice to the Darkness, which means it's time to talk about Grandma a bit more. Grandma is Zoey's Cherokee grandmother. That is also the extent of her characterisation. She is loving, forgiving, spiritual, and always knows the right thing to say. Everyone loves her. She has no flaws. She is perfect. She knows everything. And she's boring as hell. She's not a character, she's a plot device! Grandma Redbird exists either to be a perfect moral guide or to give exposition about Cherokee culture and spiritual practice (which, as we've talked about previously, isn't by necessity actual Cherokee culture). Oh, and to be in danger. This is, what, the third time her life's been endangered? There's no tension in it anymore, because there's no way that the Casts will actually have anything bad happen to her. Zoey's mother can die, because she was a bitch, but Grandma? Nah, she's too good to die. I never got the feeling here that anything bad was actually gonna happen to her, because she's bounced back from being the damsel in distress so many times.

And finally…good Lord, I cannot believe that it has taken me this long to realise exactly what's wrong with Nyx as a plot element. To be fair, I haven't given much thought to Nyx as a character to this point; she literally just shows up to be a perfect mother goddess and be right about everything and then disappear. But the climax of this book comes about when Zoey and co are scared and unsure of what to do about Neferet kidnapping Grandma Redbird. Zoey prays to Nyx, and essentially gets the answer that she needs to stop cowering in the darkness and actually do something. All very fine and well, and even a half-decent plot beat. The thing is that how the plot actually resolves is that Kramisha gives Zoey one of her prophetic poems, and it tells Zoey exactly what to do to save the day. And since Nyx gives Kramisha her visions, this is essentially just Nyx ssaving the day with Zoey as a conduit. And the problem with all of this is that it's the worst of the conservative Christian idea of God and humankind's relationship to God. God is infallible and doing what He wants will always solve your problem. Nyx is always right, and finding what Nyx wants you to do, even if it's hard, is always the right path. Zoey has free will, but pretty much any path other than specifically what Nyx wants her to do is usually wrong. I don't know much about what the Casts believe theologically, but I really wouldn't be surprised if it was a 'raised Christian, switched to 70s Neo-Paganism' kind of thing, because Nyx here just reads as if the Casts switched Christian God for a mother goddess without really changing anything about how they percieve this deity and their relationship to said deity. I've been getting the vibe as we go through the series that Nyx does some shitty things, but I'm not sure I was meant to? Her forgiveness of people like Kalona and Rephraim seems overly punitive at times, but at this late stage in the series there's no room for that to be an arc or anything, I think we're supposed to take as read that Nyx is perfect. And that just skeeves me out in general.

Next, I told you it was a speedrun! The penultimate installment of the House of Night series!

[gunsatthaphan]

Heyyy! I have been following your account for a while and I LOVE to hear your analysis, they have such a nice balance of objectivity and going gaga xD.

So, whenever you have time and if you want; to can you share your thoughts on the current gmmtv pillar couples, like their offscreen and on-screen presence/chemistry. Since, most of them are new except EM, I am trying to understand/predict how this will pan out how successful these ships will be going forward.

A few examples

FK : Onscreen: They are just so comfortable with each other, every scene, from being not liking each other but simping to what they were in OS. Offscreen: They have such soulmate/best friend vibes which feels so sincere, and despite lack of physical touches/skinship like OG, JD, or even First with other people like Tay, they have better chemistry than most ships I have seen(maybe the constant staring at each other while talking things, most interviews feel like they are talking to each other). Khaotung needs to stop looking at First not just when first is talking but also when he is talking xD

FB: Onscreen : I just don't get it, I dropped a boss and a babe so many times, because I just could not! I see no chemistry/ not even I care for you chemistry. But I feel that was maybe direction, because the 10 seconds of OF between them had so much more chemistry than the whole ABAB. Offscreen: I love their banter and they are pretty fun to watch, but again it is a lot of brotherly vibe, maybe because they loook sooo similar. I think this ship will dissolve soon, idk

EM: They seem to have similar chemistry/ characters both oncsreen and offscreen, given earth is more relaxed since he is not a troubled man like his characters . I have not seen cupid's last wish, but in both MLC and ATOTS, and real life, mix is always the sulking young guy and earth, the more mature elder guy. They are already succesful as a ship so yeah

Wow, this ended up being long xD

hi there anon!

thank you for appreciating my opinions. after having some people in my inbox who don't, this is nice to hear 😌

I already shared my take on the current gmm couples a few weeks ago here but to comment on your thoughts:

FK: couldn't agree more. everyone who follows me knows they're my favorites and that won't change anytime soon lol. I like that they don't do fanservice or skinship stuff bc their energy around each other is more than enough to make me lose my mind lol.

FB: I like their dynamic off-screen, they're likable people, but ABAAB is so bad that I'm having a hard time separating their on- and off-screen presence lol. I hope they redeem themselves with only friends bc right now they're a lost cause for me.

EM: love them!!! I said this in my previous post but they're giving comfort couple energy lol. their characters are a bit similar sometimes but that might be due to the fact that they're a very distinct pairing. they're 2 very different types compared to the other couples so their characters often go into a similar direction which I don't mind though and would not file as typecasting. I always felt like they matched their characters very well. they've been around for a while so I don't know what their future looks like but for now they're one of my favorites for sure ✌🏻

xxx

[kitkatt0430]

goldenvibe, frostwave,  supercorp, coldflash, harrisco, hartmon and flashwave for ship opinion bingo

So, going ahead to say that since there are a bunch of ships here and I did just get another ask from an anon who also asked for Hartmon, I'm gonna skip that ship here and then answer it as part of the anon ask. 'Cause even with skipping Hartmon, this is gonna get long.

I just ramble so much. ^_^

Goldenvibe:

So I am very intrigued by their dynamic, but since I heavily headcanon Lisa as being aro (or arospec bi) I don't really read romance in their ship. I see them as having a QPR - with or without sex thrown in - and it being very sweet between them which probably scares Lisa a bit about Cisco at first.

On the one hand, Lisa doesn't get nice things so where's that shoe that's gonna drop? When will Cisco prove too good to be true after all? Or will it be that Lisa wrecks things herself and hurts Cisco?

But on the other hand, Lisa deserves nice things and nice people and given enough time she can settle in with Cisco and be happy.

I feel like their dynamic works best as two points in a polycule though, so I'm more likely to go for Hartley/Cisco/Lisa or Kamilla/Cisco/Lisa or so on.

FrostWave:

So if I'm remembering correctly, FrostWave is really Caitlin/Mick and not Killer Frost/Mick, but I'm gonna talk about both.

For Caitlin and Mick, I like the dynamic where she brings out a softer side in him and he brings out more assertive side to her. Caitlin had really retreated into her shell at the start of Season 1 and Mick definitely would act as impetus for her to step out of her comfort zone and really grow beyond the rigid box she'd placed herself in. In turn, Caitlin shows Mick that he doesn't have to put up this front all the time either. He doesn't always have to be the tough guy.

I mean, they do have to get over that whole 'tied Caitlin to a bomb' thing, but I'm sure they can do it.

With Frost and Mick, they've both done things they're not necessarily proud of and they're trying to figure out who they are when they're not being the bad guy. And finding themselves together is kinda poignant. But also they've got the fire and ice thematics with his gun and her powers.

SuperCorp:

Such an OTP for me. The fact that this wasn't made canon is so disappointing. On a show that already had one of the characters have a lesbian coming out story and the show runners ignored the incredible chemistry between Lena and Kara. I don't usually care whether a ship is canon or not, but this is one where I really think they wasted an amazing story opportunity by keeping the characters relationship platonic.

With the enmity between Lex and Clark, there's a bit of a Romeo and Juliet vibe in that Lena and Kara come from two houses at war with each other and find love anyway. Lena needs to be loved for herself so badly - to prove that she's more than just her family. And Kara wants to create a name for herself too, something that stands free of Superman's shadow.

They have this instant connection that only grows stronger over time. And while Kara's fears and secrecy damage things for a while, they come out the other side much more sure of how important they are to each other.

Honestly, by the end of the show they're basically already married. I'll never make it all the way through their ship tag but every so often I make a decent effort at trying. There's just so much and continues to be more every day, even with the show over they're still such an active and beloved ship.

ColdFlash:

If Legends hadn't wasted a perfectly good character by killing Len off, then on the Flash Iris would have been basically sharing Barry with Len. There's just so much chemistry between Barry and Leonard, it's so fascinating.

They were enemies in the original timeline too and Len showing up to monopolize Barry's time made Eobard soooo jealous. They're both such dorks and it's amazing how they can be both dorks in love and enemies to lovers all at the same time. They work together like they were meant to. They both love the thrill of the chase between them and will protect each other even when it's not in their best interests.

These two are just sooo goooooood. And I love to make them just be so silly about each other.

Harrisco:

Took me a while to really get into this ship and now I can't unsee it. I adore them so much.

They start off with having every reason to mistrust each other and become best friends anyway. And then fall in love over time. Like... seeing the way Harry gravitates towards Cisco when they're in the same room, the way Cisco gets so excited to work on things with Harry, the sniping and teasing and easy, happy smiles...

They're married. In season 4 they're just so married.

Harry always making sure that Cisco doesn't make light of his contributions, always so proud of how brilliant Cisco is... and Cisco just wants so badly for Harry to learn to like himself, to see himself as wonderful the way Cisco sees him... They both value each other so much and it's so lovely.

FlashWave:

I really see Len as being what brings Barry and Mick together, whether he's actually there or not. But I feel like the more they spend time together the more Barry would really see Mick, not the front he puts up but the intelligent man behind the dumb muscle facade. And Mick would see that Barry was kinda messed up too in a way that does kinda compliment Mick's issues.

They're both very devoted characters in their own way and what could easily start as trying to find in each other something of what they lost when Len died would become finding something new in each other.

Barry's own affinity for fire, via lightning, would fascinate Mick and Mick's buried romantic side - see all those romance novels Mick wrote - would appeal to Barry's own romantic nature. I kind of feel like they'd be able to explore sides of themselves with each other that they might not feel comfortable doing with others.

[soundofseclusion]

Sound's Games of the Year for 2023

I know we're almost into the third month of 2024, but please bear with me for a bit as I talk about my favorite games I played in 2023. I always mean to do one of these posts but never end up doing one because I take too long. Well, I may have taken too long this time, but I'm doing it anyway. This post will explain my top five 2023 games which released in 2023 and WHICH I PLAYED. Ok here we go.

Top Games of 2023

#5. Super Mario Bros. Wonder SMBW is a phenomenal game. It pushes 2D Mario beyond the staleness of the NSMB games (all of which were really good, just kind of uninteresting): something the series has been sorely needing. I believe that Mario as a franchise really needs weirdness to thrive, and for a while, they've been playing it pretty safe (with 2D Mario at least). Wonder allows for the developers to do weird and wacky stuff, all without compromising the immaculate level design the series is known for.

#4. Jusant When I was a kid, my dad used to take me mountain climbing a lot. I always really liked it, but it was pretty scary. Jusant fundamentally understands that what is engaging about climbing is that each movement feels like a small puzzle. It also understands that climbing is a connection between the self and the environment. It also understands a lot of other things in the realm of beauty, connection, design, etcetera. It also allows for all these things without the anxiety that comes with climbing, which is both a good and bad thing. Ultimately, they knew what they were going for, which was a vibes-based puzzle-exploration game, not a high-stakes action climbing game. I'd say it's better for that.

#3. Small Saga Okay so technically I beat Small Saga in 2024, but I'm still putting it on the list because it was one of the best games of 2023. It's a fantastic approach to an RPG where the battles are well-balanced without requiring any grinding (grinding isn't even possible, it's designed that way). The story is awesome and engaging and the world is fully realized and compelling. Combat is fun and the side content is fun and the writing is fun and. The game is very very fucking good.

#2. Pikmin 4 Despite never including Pikmin 4 in my 2023 media thread, I did technically beat it. I just know it features an extensive post-game which I intended to full clear, so I never posted about it and decided to wait until that eventual full clear (a line of thinking that has changed for media threads going forward). Of course, life got in the way, and distractions happened, and I put my return to the game on hiatus, but that won't stop me from saying Pikmin 4 is the second best game of 2023. I don't think I could really add much to the existing discussion about why this game is great, but I'll attempt to do so whenever I do fully complete it.

#1. Chants of Sennaar Sometimes a game comes along that manages to accomplish something so beautiful in a way I would have never considered. This is one of those games. With a wholly unique gameplay concept that it fully fucking nails, Chants of Sennaar deserves to be played and completed. It's one of those games I wish I could experience for the first time again.

Bonus! These are the best games I played to completion for the first time in 2023 from a different release year.

#5. Trek to Yomi (2022) A very cinematic game with satisfying combat, a really cool setting/story, and a good flow overall. I felt very engrossed during my time with the game, and constantly found myself impressed by the visual spectacle and atmosphere. I feel like maybe it doesn't quite live up to its potential, but it was still one of my favorite games I played in 2023.

#4. Co-Open (2021) A delightful and short experience where you are given the option to interact with as much or as little of the world as you like. The game can be beaten in like 5 minutes, but my playtime was about 2 hours. Whether or not you'll enjoy this game depends on whether you can allow yourself to view the mundane as exciting through the lens of a young person. Personally, I quite enjoyed doing that.

#3. Eastward (2021) As time has passed, I've grown more and more fond of Eastward. Its world and story are so compelling, and it's a game that you can obviously see an immense amount of compassion was put into. When I completed it, I stated that it was marred by a lot of minor issues that made the final experience less than satisfactory. And at this point, I don't think I care about the gripes so much, because I can only think of this game's world with total adoration.

#2. Red Dead Redemption (2010) I wrote a pretty lengthy thing about Red Dead last year, but the gist of it is that this game does a lot of things very right.

#1 MetaWare High School (Demo) (2020) One of the most interesting games I've ever played and which I refuse to speak on further.

[eliasbookshelf]

Elias' Bookshelf Thoughts No. 12: Tricks for a Heart

So I managed to finish a book before the year ends, and it's a good one.

I'm no stranger o queer romance; I've read enough to know what to expect. But this one, from an internet friend of mine, Izzat Zainal, takes that usual queer romance love story we see a lot in YA and put it in general fiction, or adult fiction, or just non-YA fiction. I'm not really sure how to put it.

Anyway.

MC is one Adam Iman, a plus-sized queer guy living in my/our conservative country. After a school reunion, a fellow high school friend (the jock we know as Luqman a.k.a. Minho) starts to flirt with him in a non-straight way. He finds this weird, since they've known each other in high school, and he gives off no gay vibes. Hence Adam felt this must be a prank of some sorts. Well, think again, my good man. Think again.

**SPOILERS**

I want to use the word 'fresh', but it does feel like a typical queer romance story. Boy likes boy, one boy wasn't sure but goes with it anyway, they fall in love but won't say it, then something bad happens, they break up and separate for a while, and eventually end up together in one big dramatic and romantic end sequence. What's not typical is the characters, the setting, and the vulnerability presented by the characters.

Adam is plus-sized, and think he's underserving of proper romantic love, especially after what his ex did to him. Personally, this is extremely relatable (for I am plus-size myself and feels unloved or unable to be romantically loved. the only difference is that I feel Adam would have put himself out there, whereas I didn't. anyway). This is something I don't see in the usual queer romance books set in the western world, especially when it falls under young adult. it's never about the plus size kid, its always about the charming ones, the slim fit ones, the ones who is cute but he doesn't know it. Adam is, indeed, a character I've been longing to read about, one who I can actually say "yes I am he" and I'm so happy to be able to have that, as well for others who feel the way I do.

As for Luqman, well, he's hot. He has hair, body, face, abs. The jock we all know, love, idolise, and ride all night long (with consent) given the chance. He's secretly gay, but you won't know it cos he appears super straight. sigh i know a Luqman once.

Anyway.

So when Luq starts to slowly get into Adam's life after a high school reunion, Adam is thinking, okay, this must be a prank or a trick (i personally don't really hear locals use the word 'trick' a lot, so the overuse of that word feels like a turnoff for me). Phone calls, a meetup, and a dinner later, we get a steamy, sexy scene in chapter 11 (got me hard hm; they get hot and steamy in another two later chapters as well. i enjoyed all three scenes).

Slowly but surely, they found themselves in a situationship they're both super comfortable in, but Adam's insecurities ruined his own happy moments (something Luq pointed out to him later. also, i am he). He also kinda obviously is in deep romance with Luq but I think his past scarred him and built up walls too high for him to say 'love'. Yet clearly, he's in love, and Luqman is too.

Some parts were predictable, like how Luq eventually found out about the video (if only Adam know of Saiful's jealousy earlier on, I bet he wouldn't have said anything. Then again, sometimes it's better to keep some things private). So as soon as he found out, the storm is back between them, and it took more than a year for them to reconcile.

There's also so many moments which pointed out how sincere Luq was when it comes to his romance with Adam, but I guess that insecurity just blinded Adam so badly, I felt sorry for Luq to be putting al, that effort but to get nothing back. At some point, Adam was the problem in his own fairy tale, and I don't know if he understood that by the end of the book.

Oh, the big proposal, the big finish. It's clever, and twisty!!! I didn't expect that to happen the way it did (I saw it coming because it's like the last 50 pages or so, and something HAS to happen because WE WANT IT TO HAPPEN). Eventually, I ended in a pool of emotions when the story ended with a kiss.

The setting is another important reason why I like this. In our country, at least for me who's not exactly out yet, it's difficult to have a proper relationship with the same gender. You can't do many things, you can't be holding hands in public, and so many more. So to have a queer love story set in a country where love stories like these are on the down low, it's nice. It's very nice. In terms of vulnerability of the characters, they feel human. Even the jock can get scared and isn't afraid to be, at least, in private. He definitely wears his heart on is sleeve, and honestly, that's is the sexiest thing a man can do.

I'd have to say this is a vast improvement from Inside Out, which I have read as well. While that one felt Twilight-inspired, this one felt like it was Heartstopper-inspired, if you read between the lines.

Stars: 4.5 Recommended: Yes

p/s if you're on twitter, follow him @ijjaaat

[branches-in-a-flood]

Shatters, this has altered my brain. I cheated a little by skipping repeat artists (because Spotify's shuffle is absolutely useless and out of 1700 songs, decided to play me 3 each from AFI and Silent Planet in this small sample.)

Post is gonna be a little long, so under the cut.

AFI covers Silent Planet's Offworlder

Honestly I would enjoy hearing this. Their sounds are nothing alike, and AFI hasn't played heavy in years, but I'd be down for it. Davey was my intro to screaming and harsh vocals, and I would love to see what BSitS-StS era Dave would have done with this vocally.

Silent Planet covers Atreyu's So Wrong

I wouldn't say no. Atreyu tends to be pretty straightforward, so it'd be interesting to see if the Silent Planet lads would put any twists in. So Wrong isn't really one of my favorite Atreyu songs though, so I'm not especially hype.

Atreyu covers Tiger Army's Moonlite Dreams

Uh. Not. Not too sure here. Lyrically I think the vibes would fit, but the entire style and structure of the song is. Not what I would expect Atreyu to work with; though I have not listened to anything they've put out since Congregation of the Damned in 2009. Maybe they've done some more exploring. I would give it a listen, but I don't think I would expect it to be good lol.

Tiger Army covers Joe Pug's I Do My Father's Drugs

Yes. Absolutely yes. The original is a folk rock song, and I think the lyrics would translate super well to the psychobilly sound Tiger Army does. I can hear Nick 13 singing it in my head. Would absolutely listen to, and be obnoxious about it.

Joe Pug covers Tejon Street Corner Thieves' Whiskey

I'm gonna be honest and tell you that I've only ever heard one song from Joe Pug. But given that one song, I think he would do a respectable job of Whiskey. The vibes and sound feel close enough together that it would work well.

Tejon Street Corner Thieves cover Ashnikko's Drunk with My Friends

This one made me laugh out loud when the song came on. I do not think this would happen, lmao. While I would love to hear

Pussy-pussy my religion

Legs getting tired, can we switch positions?

Now we three-way kissin'

I wanna make a couple bad decisions

made into a thrashgrass song, I have exactly zero hope it would ever happen.

Ashnikko covers Måneskin's Timezone

Yea, I think this would work. I think the topic of distance and travel and the end of a relationship fits very well with what she's put out in the past, and I like getting to hear her be a little more vulnerable in songs (I also adore her party songs!)

Måneskin covers Sleep Token's The Night Does Not Belong to God

I'd give it a shot. Damiano has a nice voice. I have a surprisingly small amount to say about this one, because any thoughts I had about TNDNBTG prior to Red Rocks have been annihilated by that experience, so this is... Listen it's like someone doing their version of a hymn or something. Keep it close to the original, do your best, don't try anything crazy.

Sleep Token covers Bad Omens' Running in Circles

Of course I would listen to it, and it would be great. I think I would prefer a different song, if I could pick, but this would undoubtedly be a good piece of music. Again, it's not my favorite option from the band being covered. I don't know how much there is for Vessel to play with in this song.

Bad Omens covers Trampled by Turtles' Codeine

One that I personally would like to hear, but couldn't see happening. The song is, unsurprisingly, about drug abuse and personal demons, and we know how I feel about the intersection of bluegrass/folk and metal, so yea I would love to experience Noah's take on it. Maybe he'd do a casual acoustic version like when he played around with Levitate? I feel like I should make a playlist of metalcore and bluegrass/alt country and make myself sad that those two worlds don't interact much.

Gonna tag @lauratheghost @minervavasa and @excelsior9173 with no pressure and the understanding that I have no idea if anyone's been tagged

Thank you @elkkiel 💖

Ghost is covering: Palaye Royale’s Showbiz

Fuck yeah I think it would be awesome

The Plot In You is covering: Exploring Birdsong’s Turntail

You know. I think it would work in a weird way. Like. Her voice is so smooth but they’re both so emotive. I would love to hear it.

Chelsea Wolfe is covering: Blame Candy’s Pathetic

I mean. Anything she does… 😘💖🥰 (of what I’ve heard anyway)

Why Don’t We is covering: Palaye Royale’s Stay

To be honest I have only heard one song from them. I have no fucking clue. Probably??

Make The Suffer is covering: Rina Sawayama’s Frankenstein

Have I really listened to them? Not so much. But based on the one song (The Attendant) I think it would go well ✨

Miley Cyrus is covering: Janelle Monae’s Screwed

Fuck yeah!

I literally don’t know the next two well enough to even give a quippy no clue joke.

Madelline is covering: Brye’s Diet Culture

Hell yeah

Scary Kids Scaring Kids ft Noah Sebastian is covering: Sleep Token’s The Apparition

Idk but I am SO CURIOUS

Lizzo is covering: Chunt Chunes’ cover of Sleep Token’s Granite

I can’t picture it very well but I’m very curious. This is a version of the song that I shook it too hard to so I imagine she’d be shaking it too.

Unprocessed is covering: Banx and Ranx ft Rêve’s Headphones

You know THIS WOULD SLAP SO HARD

Polyphia is covering: Nickelback’s She Keeps Me Up

I’m curious is it would just be a guitar for vocals but I’d be so down

Halestorm is covering: The Faim’s My Heart Needs To Breathe

THIS WOULD (possibly) FIX ME. it would be Iconic.

I admit my biggest playlist currently isn’t that large. And I use it strangely. But I think I got a fair variety of some slightly older and newer stuff. But alas. Maybe I’ll expand on a few soonish?

Tagging if you want: @branches-in-a-flood @ghoulangerlee @ongreenergrasses @bubacorn @eepymonstrr @xticklemeemox @huntingteeth

[vaguely-concerned]

I binged through all of Dragon Age: Absolution today and honestly I really really liked it! I was allowing myself only some very cautious optimism after watching the twitch premiere of the first episode, but freed from the need for infodumps and setting up the characters the rest of the show actually rapidly gets better from there (some pacing issues here and there excepted but hey they were given 6 episodes, I think they did pretty well considering those constraints)! If like me you HUNGER for, you YEARN for, you CRAVE more Dragon Age right the fuck now, this is not at all a bad thing to help keep some of that hunger down while we wait for the next game, and has a few loveable new characters to get into and some great action animation to boot.

More idle thoughts/reactions under the cut!

first and foremost I love Roland and Lacklon so much haha, a surprisingly well paced romance considering it mainly happens in quick background-ish moments! I'm especially interested in Roland's backstory, since he's very chill and openminded for what seems to be a decently well-trained/educated Orlesian? Lacklon being like 'I want to hold his hand and suck his dick 😔 fml' every time Roland did something cool in battle was just *chef's kiss* too, it was kind of smart to have their fight scenes double as foreplay as well on a writing level since they're arguably the least plot-important characters overall (though they and Qwydion are definitely the heart of the story as far as I'm concerned)

I understand why Miriam clung to Hira so much since she just lost literally everything in her life, good or bad, moments before and that relationship was the only time she had tasted anything like real love since her brother died, but girl... girl when people show you who they are, believe them. marry Qwydion instead you deserve so much better (Hira gave me the Bad Vibes right away from how she didn't respect anything Miriam said or expressed and kept pushing in ways that made me really uncomfortable, so I won't say I was shocked or anything lol.) There is the (??deliberate??) mirror of Hira hugging Miriam from behind in the blood magic dream and Qwydion coming up behind her in very much the same way to rest her hand on her shoulder in the real world afterwards, so I have hope maybe?

can you imagine Dorian watching shitshows like this go down every other week all around Tevinter and tearing at his perfectly sculpted hair because Andraste's tits if you motherfuckers would stop acting stereotypically for FIVE MINUTES! could any of you go take a PISS without resorting to blood magic! Dorian's job is a shit job and he's probably been doing it for a while by the time of Dreadwolf so y'know. get my son a drink

speaking of Qwydion, I am so glad for further support for my theory that vashoth born away from the Qun are actually some of the most well-adjusted people in all of Thedas. they've dodged the Qun from birth by definition, they don't seem terribly interested in the Chantry or grand politics of any kind, they don't have a caste system hanging over them, they can step on anyone who tries to mess with them even if they don't have magic... truly the only sane people running around out here

so you're telling me the Inquisition screws Fairbanks over no matter what you do, b/c either he dies or he's forced into Orlesian politics. Oh buddy I'm sorry we should've just let you frolic around in the Emerald Graves on your own you didn't deserve this

Poor Tessa. she is probably better off without him in the long run but that's a rough week

I was so excited to see Kirkwall again, I saw the horrific chain statues and went 'OH HELLHOLE MORE LIKE HELLHOME'. it's so grim and awful I miss it so much lol

meredith, huh. so uh. hawke really has failed at everything, pretty much, then. even the few people they did manage to kill to protect everyone didn't stay dead. I'm just waiting for the dragon they killed in the Bone Pit to come back and ravage the city as well now, just to top it off. celestial punching bag of thedas hawke. babyyyyyyyyy if it helps I still love you the most and so does your collection of bi weirdos found family

rezaren wasn't even that good a mage, as far as we can tell, so you have to wonder what the FUCK dorian's ancestor was pulling to have created this thing that he could barely control with half a dragon's worth of blood (and what someone like Dorian, who helped crack time like an egg in his student days sort of just to see if he could, it seems, could do with it if they didn't have like scruples or other pesky things like that. everything we see about tevinter magisters makes me more impressed with how comparatively not fundamentally shitty Dorian has managed to turn out (no wonder Bull is kind of impressed with him for having actual integrity, if this is the competition he's up against). can you tell I miss him lol)

I found it genuniely interesting how much rezaren and hira are thematic mirrors to each other and mutually cannot see it, right down to treating miriam ultimately as an object. same self-centered idiot, different hairstyles. what a scathing indictment of Tevinter high society that even Hira, who's family was notoriously progressive and trying to enact change, still treats people exactly the same way as the other magisters when push comes to shove.

thank u to Lacklon for pessimistic cynical bastard representation, he is right that that dragon is going to ravage the countryside and someone on the crew has to keep clear eyes for that sort of thing even when it's a downer

[dailyadventureprompts]

My youngest sibling has a couple overlapping friend groups who have tried to play a few D&D games over Discord, but they've all given up as in-character arguments became out-of-character, or elements of a character backstory or adventure have triggered negative responses from one or more players, and it eventually broke up each game. I love D&D and have wanted to play with my youngest sibling for a while, and have offered several times to DM a few sessions for them and their friends, but they're hesitant as their experiences have been colored by these incidents. So I wanna ask: what advice do you have for keeping tempers cool, keeping IC interactions from harming OOC interactions, and preventing story or character decisions from becoming uncomfortable, offensive, or triggering?

DM Tip: Can't we All just Get Along?

I think there's two elements at play here, the first is whether these people should even be playing as a group to begin with, and the second is a matter of table moderation.

First let's address the former: It's the sad truth of our hobby that not everyone can play together, personalities clash, expectations differ, and sometimes the vibe just isn't there. There's no shame in that, and part of coming into your own as both a player and a DM is realizing what sort of group you'd like to have and taking steps to find one. This is one of the many reasons I don't play in store games, because for me the true magic of the game is only possible when I have the right alchemical balance of players around my table. For me, No D&D is better than bad D&D, so I am exceptionally choosy with what games I do end up playing in and will drop a game the second I determine it isn't for me. I encourage you all to have this exact same mentality, as it will lead to a higher degree of enjoyment to be had by all.

Second, lets talk about fights at the table: It has been a long, long time since I've had anything resembling open player conflict while I was running a game, and I credit that to a decision I made well over a decade ago that I wasn't going to be the sort of DM you heard d&d horror stories about. Instead, I dedicated myself to ensuring that the people around my table were going to have the best time possible, which is the only real metric of success a DM can really have.

To do this, you need to be utterly open and utterly heartless when you sense conflict arising at your table. Someone doing something that makes another player uncomfortable? Quash it, right then and there, and tell everyone why you did it. Person getting overly heated or demanding and bringing everyone down? Call a time out, get some snacks, and talk it through. Player have their feelings hurt? Pause, check in with them emotionally, assure them that it's alright to step away, then continue on.

Like any relationship, a d&d group only works when the participants are invested in eachother's wellbeing, and take that into consideration when determining their own actions. People who don't care about how they affect others are problem players, and problem players need to either be corrected or ejected for the health of the group.

Here's some things you can do at your table to avoid conflict:

Use Safety tools: A lot of people have said it a lot more eloquently than me, but there are lots of resources available to help you and your group manage the stresses that might come up during play.

Writer's room it: when describing what d&d is, I literally always start with "It's a collaborative storytelling game", despite the fact that most people forget about the collaborative part. The campaign isn't just the DM's story to tell, and the players should be given a chance to stretch their authorial power when it comes to deciding what happens. This goes double for moments of conflict, when one of the players feels the actions of another might ruin the story for them. When these sorts of things happen, zoom out, talk to your players about what's going on and what their take on current events is. This change in perspective will often let a player go from feeling that they were personally wronged, to seeing this setback as something they can use to further the story. Do not hesitate to use bribery saying: " if you're ok with your character taking a loss here, something good will happen to you later on." This advice obviously doesn't apply to anything that might violate a player's personal boundaries, which you should simply not let happen.

Say No: D&D, when done right can be one of the most intimate and cathartic experiences imaginable, to the point where it's recognized as a therapeutic tool. On a more casual level, people are there to enjoy themselves and in both instances Players shouldn't have to contend with assholes who get a kick out of ruining their fun. You as the DM are invested with the authority to let things happen/not happen, from whether or not you actually play to whether an action your players decide to take is canonical to how the story proceeds. Don't indulge the asshole, if someone does something that makes people uncomfortable, don't narrate them doing it up until one of the players gets triggered.

Encourage them to be open: everyone at the table needs to be fully up front with how they're feeling, and if one person's not enjoying themselves, you should stop. Players likewise need to be open about their own feelings so as to not get them confused with how the characters might be feeling. It's fine if your characters argue, but only if the players signal that they're cool for that level of antagonism happening in game.

Art

[transmasc-rose]

Episode 10:

Asylum episode. Bode badly (mental health portrayal) and well (they've gotta fuck up the boys in this).

Caution biohazard huh?

Ah. Well. Better the cop than the kids.

Possession? 🥺

Oh good Dean did tell Sam he called their dad.

Dean is actually more of a wide-eyed idealist in some ways than Sam. I love that.

Nyx "What's with Sam's puppydog wiggle and sigh"

Fake fight! Fake fight!

"Shoved me pretty hard in there buddy-boy!" they're so silly.

"I just have strange vibes sometimes."

"Who do you think is a hotter psychic? [name], [name], or you?" you're so.

There could be ways. To make Sam listen.

SENDING HIM TO A PSYCHIATRIST.

Sam was not prepared for this.

He is so so not prepared for this. Lmao.

Making him talk about his brother.

"This brother of yours--how do you feel about him?"

Nyx "Does this count towards the incest thing again?"

It does now!

Count: 3

Nyx "I was going to complain about teens going to a creepy asylum, but if I had access to one when I was a teen... I'd probably go in it."

Oh my god shooting the ghosts is consistent.

Friendly ghosts. That's better than expected at least.

"And Dean? He's your boss?" "...no?"

Sam and Dean bounce well off of each other. Very balanced in terms of how they bounce off of each other, the world around them, what things they are/aren't selfish about, etc.

Possess Sam please? 🥺

FUCKING UP THE DOG (a/n: the dog is Sam)

Nyx "I want to see more Sam being in pain :( That was fun."

POSSESSED SAM

SHOOT DEAN

Its been six months. Making this note for myself. Check if this lines up with the release schedule because that would make my life easier.

Giving Sammy a gun....

Conflicted, but he still pulled the trigger.

Nyx is still into Dean burning bodies.

Dean throws off the emotional conversation again.

Nyx "He keeps dodging emotions! Show your emotions boy!"

Sam earlier, while not-possessed, called Dean the perfect little soldier. That was sort of meant as an insult but like. You get that's a problem right? For him? (You do and you don't. You don't want to believe he had it as bad as you.)

Papa Winchester phoned!

7/10, not enough Sam getting electrocuted.

Sam and Dean had a fight, Dean refuses to talk about it, and next episode has them splitting up. This will go well! Still, given the episode summaries, if the next episode doesn't bring them back together I assume "Dean nearly getting electrocuted to death" will!

Nyx "I can't wait to get to [s1e14] Nightmare..." Nyx wants Dean in a priest outfit So Bad. It saw the episode thumbnail.

This was the actual last episode of the night, but more to come probably tomorrow. This is approximately the halfway points of s1. The plot is going slow but. I mean. That's what I expect out of a 22 episode long season, and especially the first season of a show. Also I wasn't expecting stellar plot.

...not exactly sure what I was expecting actually, I barely even knew this was a monster of the week show lmao. Which makes it fun!

Edited to add:

Curtis, about the counter, "YOU'RE IN SEASON ONE. Three is a really high number. Normally the number is Zero."

Next set of supernatural episodes time 👍

[chuuyrr]

venom

tokyo revengers x reader

masterlist of the series

chapter nine. spider & snake

warning(s): possible anime/manga spoilers for tokyo revengers, strong language, mentions of blood and violence, fluff at the end because ily all

im so sorry for the long wait, i really intended to have this chapter finished earlier but because of the 2nd dose of the vaccine, i immediately didn't feel well but no worries, by the time you're seeing this i am feeling much much better now! thank you all so much for being patient and thank you for all the kind words you left me :)

anyways, i really wanted to go all out for this chapter! hopefully i wrote the scenes well since i dont really proofread :")

i also highly recommend that you read this one while listening to bad girls, industry baby, boss bitch, venom or money. in short, listen to playlist of this series (see masterlist) because you—our beloved and badass reader—will be girlbossing and kicking some asses today, happy reading and likes + reblogs are highly appreciated <3

takemichi was one of the first few toman members that arrived early at koto-ku port, a container terminal minutes away from shibuya. it didn't take long for the area to get filled by possibly hundreds of people with tokyo manji gang included.

as stated in the letter addressed to you, they will be officiating the fight but what he didn't expect that they weren't the only ones who will be watching. he stayed close to chifuyu and baji, blue eyes looming at unfamiliar men that either stood on the sides or sat on top of containers and trucks for a higher ground, a sea of motorcyles and women dressed in open, white gang uniforms. each had a different vibe coming from them, one that reeked of atrocity and danger. looking at them just made takemichi tremble.

"well, would you look that? even the roponggi brothers are here. ikebukuro criminal black and leanman's gang too." baji scoffed audibly for chifuyu and takemichi to hear, glancing at the familiar faces from a distance. mikey mentioned nothing about them officiating the fight which could only mean that they came here to watch of their accord.

"are [name]-san and medusa that much of a big deal?" takemichi nervously gulped, "there are so many people here."

"apparently, there's four hundred of them. medusa is associated with numerous crimes too and just as [name]-san had told us, they've changed. they used to be a gang whose aim is to protect the safety of girls, but now they hardly do that anymore." chifuyu explained to takemichi and baji. "medusa is also comprised of three generations, majority being both from siren and widow, this current one, however, has men. thus, no longer making them an all-girl gang."

takemichi's mouth fell, "there's four hundred of them?! can [name]-san even take down four hundred on her own? that's unfair.."

"none of this is unfair to begin with. we weren't even given a choice to reject the terms that medusa set up." baji shook his head, arms now folded across his chest. "they threatened [name] with the lives of her former comrades. it's either this or we lose everything in a snap without a fight."

"where's [name]-san now?" takemichi quipped.

chifuyu placed a hand on takemichi's shoulder, "mikey's driving her. i heard she needed to visit a place before going here. they should be here any minute now. we can only watch and hope that she does win this one."

"she will." baji exclaims, his dark eyes hardening with determination. "if she can take down gangs in the past like moebius, then she can put an end to medusa too."

speak of the devil, a roar of an engine broke through the atmosphere and silenced the resounding voices. everyone in the terminal turned their heads to see a CB250T motorcycle speeding through before stopping. on it was tokyo manji gang's president and you, the former president of the widows, dressed in medusa's old colors; the sight of your black oversized jacket embroidered with belladonnas, a spider insignia of red and violet, and with the kanji words of widows resounded utters of "big sister" from the crowd, mostly from the first and second generations of sirens and widows while the others held a scornful look, evidently infuriated at your presence instead.

but quickly, their attention was drawn towards mikey. the sight of you two being together caused another set of whisperings.

"that's toman's leader!"

"nee-san and mikey are really together now."

"so, the rumors are really true! we were abandoned because of that boy."

you paid no mind to it, having grown used to it at this point. after mikey locked his motorcycle, he offered his hand to help you down which you accepted.

"thanks for the ride, mikey." you squeezed his hand, managing a smile as you faced him.

mikey squeezed your hand back, smiling for a split second, curtly glancing at you. "don't worry about it."

pulling your hand away from mikey, you straightened your posture and firmly held misaki's bokken in your dominant hand. mikey left your side afterwards, a bit reluctantly, as he really didn't want to leave you alone. in fact, he wanted to fight along side you, just like how he did when you two faced moebius.

everyone settled down before your presence and it didn't take long for you to get approached by the new president, the one who changed everything. a woman about misaki's age walked towards you with a metal baton in her hand, and behind her were a few men and women who you quickly assumed were the new captains of the gang.

"is that her? the belladonna?"

you were approached by one of the captains. the man held a mocking smile. "no wonder the windows were so weak. i expected their old leader to be more taller and olde—before he could even finish his sentence, you lunged towards him, kicking him straight in between the legs before sending a harsh blow to his face which sent him down quick that he didn't even had time to hurl in pain.

huffing a loose strand of hair in front off your face, you aligned your bokken across your body with a widened stance. you flicked your eyes towards the rest of medusa that got alarmed by your reflex and speed, watching them inch towards you.

"you could have at least my captain finish talking, but oh well. you're quite impatient." medusa's president shrugged her shoulders, seemingly unbothered that one of her comrades had fallen already. a smile bore her lips as she faced you with a friendly facade afterwards. "the name's mitsuki, by the way, in case if you've forgotten."

you bit back, eyes glaring and cold as ice. "don't get friendly with me, i've already lost my patience the moment you filthied the widows and reformed it into this."

"ever so spineless and soft hearted! i expected more from the widow's deadly belladonna. i'm only doing what you failed to do." she retorted, agitation rising from her throat. "what you and misaki failed to achieve."

"if anything, i'm simply taking what was supposed to be mine in the first place." the dark haired woman raised her metal baton and directed it towards you, teeth now seething in anger. "but don't worry love, you'll see misaki again and i'll make sure to send your pathetic girls after you."

"i'd like to see you try, bitch."

at instant, the dispute between the spider and snakes had began before toman could officially announce the start. all of the members of medusa came running towards you with their fists and blunts, and started to swing and hit you in an attempt to wear you down as their president stayed from afar. the shibuya gang officiating the fight acted quick for crowd control as you fought.

you brandished your wooden sword, sending four women down with harsh, consecutive strokes. fortunately, misaki's bokken wasn't made for slicing—meaning, it wasn't as sharp as a metal sword, but it was comparable to a metal baton. you skillfully slid left and right, occasionally flipping yourself to keep up with the retaliation of your perpetrators. just as you mentioned before, they were trained. it wasn't easy to take them down.

you used their bodies as spring boards, and hooking your legs around their torso and necks to throw them, simultaneously brandishing your wooden sword. the tokyo manji gang and other important people officiating the fight watched breathlessly. all of you might be women, but you were forces to be reckoned with. there wasn't a single one who wasn't seasoned in fighting. but the real star of tonight's show wasn't the reformed widows, it was you, their former president, who had the grace and lethality of a black widow spider.

"[name]-san is using martial arts and swordsmanship at the same time! that's insane!" chifuyu's eyes widened, gasping at the sight of you 'dancing' with the rest of the medusas just going after you, groups after groups as they went down.

mikey, who's now standing on top of an empty container along side draken, held a look of surprise. the fight he had with you to get you to join toman was nothing compared to this one. your hits and footwork were much sharper in precision, more hard-hitting and faster to the point that they barely have the time to repel it. what's even more impressive, you barely broke a sweat. if you were this serious during that time, mikey knows you would really have stood a chance against him.

you effortlessly ran on the side on one of the containers, brandishing your bokken to knock a couple of women out before utilizing krav maga; pushing away their fists and blunts while simultaneously attacking back with your free hand and bokken. ten minutes in, you had already taken down half of medusa, you noticed how some of them were now refusing to fight you and this angered mitsuki.

"what are you whores doing?!" at this point, medusa's president had lost her cool. "useless! all of you are useless!"

"i refuse to fight nee-san!" one of the women boldly made her stand, simultaneously getting rid the medusa jacket off her to throw it away along with the cricket bat she held in hand.

"we refuse to fight our president." another pressed, and soon enough majority had started stripping their medusa jackets and imitated the two women.

"i am your boss, your president. have you forgotten that? shall i pave that all in your heads myself?"

in a split second, mitsuki bashed her metal baton to the closest woman who refused to fight you but you intervened right on cue, quickly leaving your previous spot to block it with your bokken.

"that's the difference between you and me, mitsuki." you continued to press the wooden sword harder in retaliation to her unyielding strength with both of your hands, giving the woman behind you enough time to scram along with the others from mitsuki. "i'm not the boss, i'm their big sister even if i'm their youngest. these girls are my family, not my subordinates or pawns."

"i don't remember asking you to speak."

your eyes widened. bloodlust, you felt a strange kind of bloodlust from mitsuki at that instant. the kind that strangles you by the neck like a snake. momentarily caught off guard from surprise, mitsuki brought her baton downwards and with loud crack, your bokken was cut in half. before you could react quick enough, her baton made harsh direct contact to the back of your knee, earning a shrill of pain from you as you buckled to the floor.

the rest of toman was on the edge of their seats, the sound of your pained cry was beckoning them to rush in and aid you. especially mikey, his closed fists were now trembling.

"you're not misaki, you're nothing like her! you have no right to dictate me." with that, a harsh blow was sent to you before you could even block it. there was a change in her precision and agility that made her attacks unavoidable. "i don't get what misaki sees in you! it's always [name] this, [name] that. not only did you steal her from me, you took everything from me!"

mitsuki's eyes burned with malice as they glared down at you. from the corner of your eye you saw medusa's remaining captains approaching you.

"i'll kill you, [name] and i'll kill your girls."

all of the gangs spectating you literally thought you had lost it at the last minute. your shoulders shook up and down, laughter erupted from your throat as you brought a hand to your chest. everyone in the container terminal glanced at each other, then towards you, wondering what was so funny all of a sudden? were you laughing at the threat?

the dark haired woman halted her swings, the atrocity in her eyes subsiding into confusion as you continued to laugh. "what the hell are you laughing about?"

you shook your head, wiping a fake a tear spilling from the corner of your eye before your lips graced a smile. "you're not the first one to threaten me and i think you forgot about one thing."

a baseball bat came swinging your way from your side, you raised a hand and effortlessly caught it without even batting an eye towards the captain that initiated it.

"snakes aren't the only ones that have venom."

in a blink of an eye, you were no longer on your knees and you had already thrashed down the captain that dared swing his baseball bat by swiftly getting beneath his leg and usings both of yours to kick him downwards. before he could get up, you already sent a harsh blow to his face with your open palm and knocked him out cold all in a few minutes. the two captains closest to him were also taken down with concussions and quick hits.

the president and her remaining captains looked at you as if you had just been raised from the dead. you were still standing on your feet even with the casualty behind your knees and arms. it should have been painful enough for you to stay put. you simply cracked your joints and knuckles before readying into a stance. you weren't compared to the invincible mikey for nothing nor dubbed as the queen of st. ishiyama and lone female delinquent of tokyo on the rise.

beads of sweat were now dotting mitsuki's forehead. you still being able to stand wasn't part of the plan. without any choice and at her command, they charged all at once. fists and blunts rained upon you but with your nimble and quick-witted steps none of them landed a hit unlike the last night. you played defense and offense at the same time with a faster and keener precision.

"just like during the moebius scuffle huh." draken commented, staring intently at your movements.

mikey quipped, still tensed from the sight of you fighting with a casualty like nothing. "what do you mean?"

"notice how [name]'s attacks never falter even when she got hit on the back of her knee. it's almost just like how she got hit by a bat to the head and is still able to fight. and even when her yukata is wet and heavy from the rain, she finishes what she started." draken concludes, the ends of his lips curving into a smirk when your open palm knocks another captain out while your free hand pushes the other away.

with half of medusa refusing to fight, it was only the president left at this point as you took out her remaining captain with a couple bash in the heads and knees to the side. just like at the campus, even the men that mitsuki integrated in the gang became afraid to fight you.

the dark haired woman tightly grasped her metal baton before brandishing it towards you. the fight between you two was almost a blur from how fast your reflexes and precision were. you easily maneuvered through her swings and caught the metal baton right on time. it was only a matter of time until everyone saw the outcome of this dispute. you twisted the weapon along with her hand and flipped yourself upside down, hooking your legs around her neck and threw her across the floor, cutting off the air in her lungs.

"this is for hurting my girls and turning the widows into filth." you spatted out.

the dark haired woman gasped for air, her hands loosening its grip onto the metal baton. she thrashed from your hold until she felt it; an ominous aura that outmatched her bloodlust. with eyes dilated, mitsuki quivered under your watchful gaze. she felt herself stuck in a spider's web—just a few moments away from the predator—that's how she exactly felt.

freeing herself from your vicegrip, you two were back on your feet once again. you kicked the metal baton away from her before lunging yourself towards her. both of exchanged fists and kicks, but her attacks became sloppier. her legs were trembling and her eyes were fearfully looking at you. perhaps mitsuki had underestimated who you really are. is this what misaki saw in you? how can you fight with a straight face yet instill fear at your opponent? your charisma and aura was frightening.

without another word, you kicked your leg in the air and hit her square on the face with a high roundhouse kick which everyone found staring in awe at. you were probably going to get bombarded by mikey who will never shut up about you using his move constantly now. huffing, you watched mitsuki collide against the floor—out cold. it was over. you defeated medusa's president.

the tokyo manji gang's applause and announcement of the outcome reverberated and overcame the sound of ocean waves washing against the edge of the port. you were welcomed by groans of pain from the members you had beaten up and the cries of the girls who kneeled down before you. your now barely conscious body was now tipping side to side as you stood up, softly gasping for air. the adrenaline rushing throughout your veins had ran out and exhaustion kicked in instead. you winced, now feeling the pain at the back of your knees.

now that the fight was officially over, mikey and draken jumped down from the containers they were standing on and approach you. takemichi and the five captains followed suit. baji and chifuyu supported you by the arms and back, making it easier for you to stand now. you leaned your head against baji, grasping his and chifuyu's shoulders.

"thanks for having my back." you muttered in thanks, still breathing in and out of your nose.

"don't mention it, princess. you were badass." baji commented with a grin which chifuyu nodded in agreement at.

"i agree, no one fights as cool as you do [name]-san." chifuyu beams with a smile.

mikey gently pulled you from the first division captain and vice captain, encasing you in an embrace. a tight one might i add. you shook your head, feeling a chuckle erupt from your throat as you placed a hand on his back, remembering the conversation you had with him while the two of you visited misaki's grave.

"so this is.. misaki's grave."

you and mikey stood in front of a gravestone, heads down and hands clasped together. before you two headed to koto-ku, you requested to visit your mentor's grave.

"her name wasn't misaki? it's kisaki, miya?" mikey lifted his head, turning to face you.

"she hated being called as miya. she insisted we call her misaki instead." you explained briefly with a solemn smile. "it's her death anniversary today, that's why i wanted to see her before heading to koto-ku port."

"[name]-chan?" you felt a tug on your sleeve. you turned your head towards mikey who was gazing at the yours and his feet.

"yeah?" you asked, quietly.

"promise me you won't join misaki-san any time sooner. promise me you'll win the fight and come back to me—come back to toman alive." you could see a faint blush across his cheekbones despite his head hanging low.

you reached for the hand on his side and subconsciously interwined your hand in his.

"i promise, mikey." you smiled, "you really care that much about me, huh?"

mikey squeezed your hand—now fully-facing you with a determined look in his eyes. "of course, i do! how can i not care about my girlfriend?!"

"sheesh, you could have taken me out first." you shrugged your shoulders, playfully rolling your eyes with a grin. "and when toman finds out you haven't asked me out yet.. they just might."

"then i'll take you out, after the fight. after this whole mess—even if i already know your answer!"

"you don't know that! also, i'm joking! i don't want a date manjiro!"

"well i'm not joking, we're going on a date!"

your embrace with mikey was cut off short by a familiar shouting of a girl.

"[name]-nee!"

you turned your head to see who that was and tears came rolling down your face.

you immediately pulled yourself away from mikey, much to his protests, and limped your way towards a violet haired girl covered in wounds and bruises. meeting her in the middle, you encased her in a tight hug and buried your face onto her shoulder.

"sumire!" you sniffled, looking up to see your captains running up the two of you, joining your embrace. "everyone!"

"nee-san we missed you!" tsumiki, one of your captains, sobbed.

"forgive us, nee-san. we failed to keep the widows as it was. mitsuki was too strong for us to handle." sakaki, your serious captain, hung her head in shame.

you shook your head, pressing your forehead against hers. "all of you did what you could."

"you have to come back to us, [name]-nee." the violet haired girl, your former right hand, pleaded, clutching onto your jacket. "we need someone like misaki-san—someone like you to lead us again. i am not fit to lead as their leader, not after i failed to protect them."

"you defeated mitsuki! it's only natural for you to preceed as the fourth generation leader and come back to us." yoru, another one of your captains, claimed.

taking in a deep breath, you pulled away from their embrace and looked at each of their eyes before closing yours. "i cannot lead the widows the same way as i did before. even until now, i'm still carrying the grief of misaki's death and now that this gang has been filthied. there's only one right thing i can do for it and i'm sure misaki-san think it's for the best as well."

"and what's that, [name]-nee?" sumire looked at you, her face contorting into confusion.

you opened your eyes, "starting today, medusa is disbanded! that is my first and final order as the new president."

after the spider and snake dispute at koto-ku port and the disbandment of medusa, you were taken to the hospital along with your former right hand and captains. much to mikey and the rest of the captains' relief, the back of your knee wasn't dislocated or fractured. however upon removing your jacket, your arms were covered in bruises and your knuckles were bleeding—which made them all tensed again. on the bright side, you didn't pass out unlike the last gang fight you took on.

"how did it go for your friends?" mikey asked as he handed you a dorayaki which you accepted and took a bite of. "the disbandment?"

you were now at your apartment after you got patched up at the hospital and the toman captains insisted that they stay over at your place. it was cramped, considering you live in a studio apartment, but at least the place was lively.

"it went well after some explaining. sumire and the rest of the girls went home to their families after being held hostages for days." you sighed with a smile, your eyes falling to the blanket sprawled on your lap. "and then we promised to keep in touch, just like old times."

"so, it's really over?" takemichi quipped, which you nodded your head at.

"i'm just glad you're okay, you had us fucking worried you know!" baji pointed his index finger at you with a light scowl.

"we would have pummeled that 'mitsuki-girl' for you and the girls she beat up and put on the line." pah scoffed, "she deserved her loss."

"enough of that 'mitsuki-girl'." mikey rolled his eyes at his friends. he turned to face you and flicked your forehead. "get better already, i'm still taking you out."

"take [name] out? wait, have you two even dated?!" baji screamed, his booming voice reverberated across your apartment.

"no?" both you and mikey muttered in unison which earned gasps and screams from everyone else in the room.

"what the hell, mikey?!" baji ended up grabbing the blonde boy by the collar as he violently shook him.

"in my defense, i thought this boyfriend-girlfriend thing was just pretend but damn." you commented, raising both of your hands in the air defensively.

"i feel bad for you, [name]-san." smiley, the fourth division captain commented.

"does this mean i can take you out on a date then?" angry smoothly interjected, which earned a furious gasp from mikey.

"oi, oi! i'm taking her out." mikey scowled.

"well you better do, because apparently angry likes [name]." baji tapped mikey's forehead repeatedly with his index and middle finger. "and maybe chifuyu."

chifuyu's face burned bright red at that instant, "what are you talking about baji-san?! i'm not in love with [name]-san! i just think she's badass."

"you guys should really stop addressing me like i'm old. i'm literally fifteen!" you threw your hands in the air, along with the doriyaki you've been eating. "stop pulling a rie on me or else i'm roundhouse kicking each and every single one of you in this room."

"i would actually like that." mikey smirked, which earned him a smack on the back of his head by draken. "ouch!"

"you guys are giving me a fucking headache." you laid on your back on your bed, rubbing your face in annoyance.

"we can leave if you want?" mucho, the fifth division captain you don't interact with that much offered, raising a hand to gesture his vice captain.

"what? no! you and haru can stay." you immediately waved your hands in the air. you watched as the long haired boy with a facemask seemingly blush at your nickname.

"i sense favoritism." mikey's eyes hardened into a glare as he looked at you.

"you shouldn't be stressing [name] out, she needs rest." mitsuya exclaimed, placing a hand on your shoulder as you appreciated him not calling you with '-san' anymore.

"i agree with mitsuya." draken said in agreement.

chifuyu's eyes lit up with interest, forgetting about baji's statement earlier. "okay, then. can we talk about how [name]-san used a wooden sword with martial arts?!"

"and how she learned mikey's kick!?" takemichi added, which made you sigh.

you spent the next few hours with the rest of toman captains, president and vice president, and takemichi included—just talking about whatever and it ended up being more chaotic than you thought. although their questions and comments got on your nerves at times, you enjoyed their company and this is was one of the few times you got to relax and be your genuine self. and now that your girls were free and medusa gone, a weight had been lifted off from your shoulders.

your time with them went on until you had fallen asleep from exhaustion with mikey by your side, holding your hand—exactly just like how he did when you first passed out from your fight with moebius.

you slept peacefully, which was a rare occurrence since you barely slept well at night. the last time you had gotten a good night's sleep was when misaki was still alive. it was just relieving to have company you were comfortable with and to be free from the burdens of your past.

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[ponyregrets]

i wish you would write a fic where... bellamy is a serious dater and clarke is only into random hookups when they meet, like he's a romantic and she's basically a stereotypical frat boy

AO3!

"You know what the problem is with casual sex?" Clarke asks, flopping down on the couch next to Bellamy with a sigh.

"Having to google people from the bathroom at the bar before you take them home to make sure they won't murder you?" he offers without hesitation. "Hell, having to find people at bars to hook up with?"

"You pick up people at bars too," she points out. When they first started living together, Clarke had thought their wildly divergent takes on relationships might be a source of friction. She doesn't care what other people do in their personal lives, but people who are really into dating and monogamy can get pretty judgey about people who favor casual sex, and Bellamy gave off pretty generally judgmental vibes.

Luckily, it turned out he didn't have anything against sleeping around, he'd just gotten it out of his system in college, when Clarke was convinced she was going to marry first Finn and then Lexa. Once both those relationships blew up in her face, she figured she might as well take a step back from trying to find a long-term relationship and just have fun.

Five years later, she's still having fun. At least, most of the time.

"Yeah, but not as often, if I'm lucky. Besides," he adds, with a teasing grin, "I figured if I said lack of emotional connection and empty orgasms, you'd get mad at me."

"No, that's closer," she admits, ignoring his teasing for the moment. "Not the emptiness, but the orgasms. Or lack thereof."

He snorts. "I told you that guy looked like a douchebag."

"I wish everyone who looked like a douchebag was bad in bed, but you really can't tell. Sometimes they're smug because they're really, really good. Like you, I hope."

"Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt."

"Any time you want to prove it, feel free."

He shakes his head, still smiling. She can never tell if he thinks she's joking or not, but all he ever has to do is ask. Bellamy's hot, and she would absolutely fuck him in about half a second, if he wanted to. "I don't want to ruin you for other men. That would really reduce your dating pool."

"Very considerate of you."

"You could try fucking someone other more than once, then you could have good sex regularly."

"I still get plenty of good sex regularly. And a relationship isn't a guarantee of good sex."

"No, but at least you can have a conversation about it. Or you should be able to. I know the last time you dated someone long-term was college, but when you're an adult, you can just tell your partners that they're bad at oral."

"Really?" she asks, unable to keep a dubious note out of her voice. "How's that gone for you?"

"Okay, you don't say exactly that. But I've dated some people who don't give head how I like, and they've taken feedback. And then they get better. With just one night, you don't see a lot of improvement, even if you bring it up."

"I don't know if anyone takes you've never given a girl an orgasm well, as feedback."

"Yeah, I've never tried that one."

"Weird."

"Sorry the douche didn't get you off. And sorry I'm better at judging whether or not guys are good at sex on sight than you are."

She snorts. "I don't think we can say that."

He shrugs. "I'm just saying, I took one look at that guy and knew he was going to suck in bed."

"Yeah, brag about it." She lets out a long sigh. "You sure you don't want to fuck me?"

"Not tonight, sorry."

"Then I'm going to go fuck myself and go to bed."

It's the kind of thing that should be weird, but Bellamy just gestures over his shoulder, half wave and half salute. "Enjoy."

If she's thinking about him and not any of the attractive strangers she's fucked lately when she gets herself off, that's her business. No one else has to know.

*

"I wouldn't fuck that guy," Bellamy says, three weeks later, while the guy Clarke has been flirting with is in the bathroom.

"I don't think he'd fuck you either, he seems straight."

He ignores her. "I bet you five bucks he doesn't make you come if you go home with him."

"Huh." She thinks it over. "I don't know if I'm going home with him yet. And that's a shitty deal for me."

"How so?"

"Not only do I not get off, but I lose five bucks?"

He snorts. "Sorry, did you want to put your money on your date being bad in bed? I figured you were betting on them by default."

It's a valid point. "Fine, if I go home with him and he doesn't get me off, I'll give you five bucks."

He offers his hand and the two of them shake on it, and by the time the guy gets back, Bellamy's melted into the crowd. It's something he learned to do early in their friendship, and Clarke's grateful; even the densest potential hookups manage to pick up on how much more she likes her roommate than them.

She lets the guy take her home, and she gets a cab back from his place after. Bellamy's on the couch playing video games, as he always is. The first few times, he made excuses, but once they got to know each other better, he admitted it was a nervous thing. He grew up taking care of his baby sister, and he couldn't ever sleep while she was out. He has to wait until everyone is home and the door is bolted before he can go to sleep, so Clarke never stays out too late.

She hands him a five dollar bill without a word, and he puts his arm around her and gives her a squeeze. "Sorry I was right."

"If you were really sorry, you'd five me back the five bucks."

He smirks and pockets the money. "Guess I'm not really that sorry."

*

"What about him?" Clarke asks, pointing to a guy with dirty blonde hair and a nice smile. Bellamy has won three bets in a row, so she's pretty sure she has some kind of gift.

"I'm starting to think you just have really shitty taste in guys," he says, cocking his head. "That guy?"

"I'm not going to marry him."

"You're also not going to get off with him."

Raven looks between the two of them with raised eyebrows. "Did I miss something?"

"Bellamy's got an eye," says Clarke.

"I've got two eyes," he says. "I'm getting another round, you two want one?"

They both agree, and Raven fixes Clarke with a hard look once he's gone. "Are you guys getting weirder?"

"Probably."

"You should just fuck him."

"I keep trying, but he keeps saying no."

"Okay, yeah, you should tell him you want to marry him."

"If he won't fuck me, why would he marry me?"

Raven groans. "You're going to give me gray hair. What's he got an eye for?"

"Guys who can give me an orgasm."

Her head hits the booth with a light thunk. "Seriously, Clarke."

"He's good at it! I don't want to waste my time."

"You say that, but you've been in love with your roommate for like six months and haven't done anything about it."

Clarke feels her entire body stiffen, her blood running cold and then hot. "I'm not in love with him."

"No?"

"No."

Raven regards her with her too-shrewd eyes.  "I know the Finn thing did a number on you. On both of us. And the Lexa thing right after…" She sighs. "I'm not saying I don't get it. But you've got yourself convinced that because he won't sleep with you, he doesn't want you, and it's fucking stupid. How many times does he have to tell you he's done with casual sex before you figure out what you need to ask is if he wants to date you, not if he wants to sleep with you?"

Clarke opens and closes her mouth. "We live together," she finally says.

"A lot of people who are dating do, yeah."

Bellamy comes back with drinks before Clarke has to say anything to that, and after that she spots a girl with a nose ring and a pan flag pin on her bag ordering a drink at the bar, so that's her evening sorted out.

No need to think more about Bellamy at all.

*

Clarke isn't opposed to being in love, not really. She still thinks she wants to be, someday, but it's a vague, unformed someday, the same way it always has been. She's not even thirty yet, she doesn't need to settle down. Bellamy is allowed to be ready for that, but that doesn't mean he wants to do it with her. He's never given any indication he did.

But he's been single for a while now, and he's not exactly wanting for interested partners. Maybe no one's been appealing, but maybe Raven's right, and if she asked him, he'd say yes.

Just the thought of it fills her head with cotton and static, turns her stomach to butterflies and bile. 

It's too much to think about, so she doesn't.

*

Clarke's feelings on marriage aren't universal, nor does she expect them to be. But it's still a little weird that people she knows, people her age, not only want to get married but are getting married. No matter how often she asks Monty how he knew he was ready, he hasn't come up with an answer that really makes sense to her. He just fell in love and asked Bellamy's friend Miller to marry him, and Clarke is grateful for it, because Bellamy needed a roommate and that's how she met him.

Still, Monty and Miller's actual wedding is a lot to process. It's not the first wedding she's gone to of a peer, but the others have been acquaintances, not friends. This feels like the start of a new era in her life, the one with spouses and kids and mortgages, and it's no wonder that Clarke decides she needs to get very drunk. Especially since Bellamy is the best man, so not only is he looking stupidly hot in his tuxedo, but he seems to be everywhere, organizing everything, and Clarke's always been kind of into competence. Even if she misses having him to hang out with.

He finally finds her during the reception, sinking into Harper's empty seat with an audible sigh of relief. "Holy fuck, weddings are a pain."

She doesn't want to perk up when she sees him, but it's inevitable. "Hi!"

He squints at her, then he grins. "Open bar, huh?"

"You're behind," she says, sliding her drink to him. "I know you don't want to think about what this means either."

He accepts the glass and takes a long swig. "What what means, exactly?"

"Our friends are getting married."

"God forbid I think about our friends being happy, yeah."

"You want to get married," she says, trying not to make it sound like an accusation and not really succeeding.

He smiles. "In general, yeah. Is that a problem now?"

"It's just weird. It's going to happen more and more. Your sister's going to do it, and Raven, and…I need another drink."

"Wait until I finish this one," he says. "I finally get to hang out with you, don't just leave."

It's hard to argue with that. "You did a good job. Very best manly."

"Thanks, that was the goal." He's watching the dance floor. "As long as all the weddings are like this, I'll be happy."

"What do you mean?"

He takes another long drink. "The first wedding I ever went to was my mom's. When she married my sister's dad. I was five and I already knew it wasn't going to last. They didn't even like each other that much. Maybe Miller and Monty won't last forever either, but they're starting from a good place. It's nice. I'll go to as many weddings as our friends want, as long as they look at each other like that."

"You're such a romantic," she says, all fondness, and he finishes off her drink.

"That's me. Let's get another round."

It takes two more drinks before it feels like a good idea to ask him to dance, and he doesn't say anything for a long, horrible moment that feels like a thousand years. 

But then he smiles and stands. "Yeah, we can dance."

His hand is big and warm as he helps her up, and his eyes are deep and dark, impossible to look away from. It really sucks, how pretty his eyes are, because brown eyes are so common, but no one else's can compare. It used to just be that she couldn't hook up with guys with black hair, but brown eyes are out now too. Pretty soon it's just going to be all guys, period, and then probably girls with black hair and brown eyes, an endless slippery slope. It's inevitable.

They haven't even had sex, and he's still ruining other guys for him.

She slides her arms around his neck and relaxes into him, and he leans his head on her hair. It's the high-school prom kind of dancing, slowly turning in place to music, nostalgic in the best way. 

"You going to fall asleep on me?" Bellamy asks, his voice a pleasant rumble against her chest.

"Probably not. But I know you'll bring me home if I do."

A faster song comes on next, and that wakes her up. Monty and Miller come over too, then some of their other friends, Raven and her new girl, Bellamy's sister and her giant boyfriend, and it becomes a real party again, everyone laughing and jumping around and drinking even more.

The night gets hazy from there, but never so hazy that she loses track of what's happening. She knows that she keeps dancing slow dances with Bellamy, and that she's looking at his mouth a lot, and that he's stuck to her side like glue. She knows the whole night feels alive with possibility, and she knows, as she follows him into the cab home, that she's going to kiss him when they get back.

She's not drunk, she's not out of control; she knows she pulls him down and kisses him in the kitchen, and she knows he kisses back. He takes control, after a second, pushing her against the door, kissing her hot and wet, open-mouthed and greedy, and she's pulling him as close as she can, greedy for it, sliding her hands under his shirt, trying to get more and more and--

"Fuck," he says, pulling back, his breathing heavy, his hair a mess. "Yeah," she agrees, trying to pull him in again, but he steps away, taking himself out of her space.

"Clarke, we can't."

"Why not?"

"We live together. It would be awkward."

"It doesn't have to be."

He smiles with half his mouth. "It would be. Sorry, I don't fuck roommates."

"But you want to." 

She hates how needy it comes out, hates even more the way Bellamy's face twists, how his facade of good humor cracks, showing something ugly underneath. "Jesus, is that what you want to hear? That I want you? Fuck, Clarke, of course I want you. Every fucking time, I want you. I want to give you the best sex of your life and wake up with you and--" He cuts himself off, looking away. "And I'm drunk and I'm going to bed. Sorry," he finishes, a sort of general statement without a clear antecedent, and leaves before she's collected herself enough to say anything.

She's still against the door, so it's easy to let her head drop back, the pain of the impact barely even registering. "Fuck."

*

His door is closed when she gets up in the morning, and it's still closed once she's had her coffee and some cereal. She showers, and when she gets out, the door is still closed.

For all she knows, he's not even in there. He usually gets up before her, he might have gone somewhere to avoid her. Miller is headed for his honeymoon, but Octavia would let him come over and mope on her couch, if that's what he needs. 

But he never closes his door during the day. Even when he's gone, the door is open. It's impossible not to read into that. And if she doesn't talk to him soon, she's going to crawl out of her skin.

She gives him until ten-thirty, and then she pushes the door open without bothering to knock. He's on his bed in his usual sleepwear, just a pair of flannel pajama pants, and he has a book open on his face. He looks like a cartoon character, albeit a miserable one.

He has no visible reaction to her coming in, but somehow, she's sure he's awake. If she knows him, and she's pretty sure she does, he was trying to read, but he couldn't stop thinking about how he screwed up last night, and now he's obsessing over what he could have done differently, how he could have done better.

Just like that, the knot of tension in her stomach undoes itself. She climbs into bed next to him, settling with her arms around his neck, her head on his shoulder.

"You really didn't need to apologize. I should have. I'm the one who jumped you."

"You did," he agrees. "You want to apologize?"

The book is still on his face; he's her favorite person in the world. "Not for kissing you. But I was wrong."

"About what?"

She closes her eyes, breathing him in. He didn't shower last night or this morning, and he hasn't brushed his teeth yet. He smells a little stale, if she's honest, but she's not going to let that stop her. "I thought if you didn't want to have sex with me, it meant you didn't want me at all. I figured if you were interested, you'd fuck me. But it was the other way around, right?"

"I don't fuck roommates," he says, a pointed non-answer, and Clarke's whole heart bursts.

"Okay, but do you live with girlfriends?"

He finally moves the book to look at her. "Clarke."

"What?" He doesn't actually seem to have a follow up, so she props herself up on his chest. "I stopped hooking up with guys with black hair. Then brown eyes. Glasses are out too. Every time I compare someone to you, they come up short. And I thought if we had sex, maybe you'd like it and want to do it more."

He slides his hand into her hair, gentle, his smile mostly fond and only a little exasperated. "You don't date. I'm not going to be the asshole who pressures someone into a relationship they don't want."

"I get it." Her eyes flick down to his lips. "I want it," she says, and that's all he needs. The hand in her hair tugs her down, back to him, and they're kissing again, less desperate than last night, sweet and warm and slow until she ruins it laughing against his neck.

"What?" he asks, nuzzling her temple.

"You need to brush your teeth, sorry."

He laughs too. "Wow. Romantic."

"I love you," she tells him. "And I'm going to be here when you get back. But seriously, brush your teeth, Bellamy."

His grin is the brightest she's ever seen. "Well," he says, pushing her off him gently so he can get up. "If you love me."

*

"See, that's the nice thing about a relationship," Bellamy says, kissing her hair as she curls around him. As promised, he's very, very good at orgasms, and managed to live up to her expectations for not only his dick, but his hands and his mouth too. Exceeded expectations, even.

"Cuddling after?"

"That too. But you couldn't have told a random one-night stand to brush his teeth first."

She blames the endorphins for the giggles that overtake her. "I probably would have been too drunk to notice during a one-night stand."

"Is that supposed to be an argument in your favor? Because that's not wowing me."

"It's not in my favor, I'm not really on team one-night stand anymore."

"Yeah?" he asks, his voice a little too casual. "You're really good with that?"

She kisses his shoulder. "It's not like it was a religion. I had fun. I don't want to get married tomorrow or anything. But I'm pretty excited to try being in love again. It's pretty great, so far."

He tugs her closer. "Yeah. I think we're going to like it."