#they're so funny im dying thinking about this

[bigkickguy]

heathsang - redraw doodle of the 'and they were both bottoms' meme

[rithmeres]

yes, the plans that i could not share with you (because the haters would sabotage me) were that i was taking on LACC in my vash getup :)

i have so few pictures of myself but i got so many compliments (especially on my arm) and plenty of other people took pictures of me. and normally i don't like attention but i will be honest with u. under these circumstances i loved it. my arm held up really well through 8 hours on the convention floor and i have never been prouder of anything i've made. it's articulated incredibly well, no part of it gave out or required repair, it's never uncomfortable or a nuisance to wear, and i have enough range of motion to do relatively complex things like tying my shoes.

originally i was not planning to try to meet anyone famous because 1) it's expensive and 2) the lines are long and 3) i feel weird and annoying approaching literally anyone for any reason BUT. the spot where i met up with my sister just happened to be right next to johnny yong bosch's table. right when he started signing things. so i said LOL ok i'll do it.

it was super chill, i asked him how it felt to get the call that they wanted him to come back 20 years later for a trigun reboot and he said it almost didn't happen -- that since they recast everyone else for stampede they considered recasting vash as well (and i said WOW i'm so glad they didn't) and he said he really enjoyed getting to come back and explore a darker take (i forget if what he said was a darker take on vash's character, or just a darker trigun in general) but it was briefly surprising 2 me that he considered stampede to be a darker version but i get it, especially when u consider that there is not a lot of comedy in those 12 episodes to balance out the grief.

ANYWAY he was impressed with my arm and i asked him if he would sign my coat :) so he signed the lining but he was also like u know what, i'm gonna give you a second autograph just because. so he signed a print for me as well (free of charge!!) and the print with the blue signature matches my famous paintings that i always film in front of (that's providence baybee)

other stuff from the con under the cut

cosplay notes:

i saw 3 other vash cosplayers (a 98 vash, a stampede vash, and a purple coat vash) and no shade but i definitely had the best arm build. peace and love to all of them though

i saw 1 1/2 wolfwoods. 1 was the aforementioned mullet wolfwood from yesterday's post (ww if you’re out there ww) and the 1/2 was the 98 vash cosplayer’s gf in some kind of goth-ish dress and she was carrying a punisher

mullet wolfwood if you're out there i regret not getting a picture with you so much. i am deeply ashamed and i have no excuse because i ran into you twice and both times i was too embarrassed to ask for a picture. i just want you to know that your punisher was swag and your earrings were yolo and we would look very good together

i expected to see a lot more trigun tbh. los angeles where u at. 4 vashies at a convention of 120,000+ people is nothing. one guy even walked up to me like wow i love ur vash, i haven't seen a lot of trigun at this con and i was like I KNOW i thought i'd see a lot more

theeeee costume of all time award goes to the cad bane cosplayer i saw on the balcony. spare hand in marriage dude (gn) you looked so good

second place for costume of all time goes to the other mother cosplayer who had button eyes and these crazy finger appendages and never once broke character even while waiting in lines

i took 100 points of psychic damage from this one guy who (and im not kidding) was at least 6’4’’ and wearing platform boots and was dressed as the mfing onceler. with the stupid top hat he was fr 7+ feet tall (i saw him duck to get through a doorway).

someone was there as the brawny paper towel guy?? just walking around in a beard and flannel carrying a pack of paper towel rolls?? go off king

i saw 5 nightwing cosplayers but only 2 were biblically accurate (had ass)

the nanami sweep at this convention was so real u all SHOWED UP. and everybody ate. i saw at least 12 nanamis and not one of them was a flop.

i have never seen so many spider-mans in my life

other things:

fig. 1: this extremely hot captain america on a very large poster was about 2 make me act unwise. hi gorjus................................. nice eyebrows

fig 2: i saw this sign a couple blocks away from the con and i did a triple take. 🔥🔥🔥TRIMAX MENTIONED🔥🔥🔥

fig. 3: i saw all 4 hobbits in panel and can confirm elijah wood’s laugh is ten times more infectious in real life. before they were even done sitting down, dominic monaghan switched around all of their name cards so that none of them were seated behind the right name. as u might imagine much of the panel's content was reminiscing about LOTR, but i heard some stories that i hadn't heard before. they also talked about video games, other projects they are working/have worked on, how their kids feel about their dads' LOTR roles, how much they love ian mckellen, and how they would love to see something happen for the 20th anniversary of ROTK this year. sean astin (the legend) took shots at the stranger things writers (basically said joyce could never be happy with hopper) AND EVERYONE CLAPPED LOL. billy and dom talked about the best food in NZ, their show billy and dom eat the world, and the unfortunate events that led to the friendship onion's hiatus. it was a ton of fun to just watch them be themselves with each other, you can tell that these guys are all so fond of each other and love each other so much.

and finally, fig. 4: i bought these beautiful prints from @/batinyourbelfry and the skeletal washi tape from @/skeletalacademia (both on IG)

[fizzyghosts]

Hywel is inspired by a mix of my issues with stories with nonhuman protagonist/about nonhumans becoming human AND vet posts ive seen warning people about the dangers of anthropomorphisizing animals. Its fine to joke about your pets doing things out of spite or other human emotions, it does put you at risk of not being able to read their body language correctly. Cats dont cry out of sadness, a cat crying, with actual tears streaming down its face, is a sign of a medical issue. A dog smiling isn't doing it bc its happy, it means its nervous. Not being able to spot these is bad, and sometimes even dangerous, for you and the animal.

If you never get past Hywel's human appearance and treat him like one its like getting a reactive dog, doing zero research or training, and then taking it to a dog park. If Hywel mauls someone in town then its on you.

[the-raindeer-king]

You're well aware that your status as the only woman amongst the 141 gets you lots of stares. Plenty of people jeering with jealousy over one thing or another. You've learned to live with it. You've got bigger things to worry about.

But this was definitely a first.

You had been working on some documents, putting together some last minute intel, when your concentration was broken by giggling. Two of the recruits, whose names currently evade your mind, approach where you're sitting, giggling amongst themselves.

“Sargent, we were wondering if you could help us,” one of them, blonde, pipes up.

The other, brunette, giggles again, her cheeks flushed pink. “It's just a quick question, ma'am.”

You stare blankly at them. Don't they have better shit to do than bother you? You let out a loud sigh, annoyed. You certainly have better shit to do than entertain them. But you offer them a tight lipped smile anyway, and reply, “Sure, ask away.”

“How do you get any work done with Sargent MacTavish and Lieutenant Riley around?”

Another blank stare. How do you get work done around Ghost and Soap? You raise an eyebrow, waiting for them to elaborate.

“I mean, MacTavish is so charming -”

“And funny!”

“- and he's so handsome. And the Lieutenant is so mysterious under that mask. And his voice is so…” she trails off, her cheeks darker than before.

All you can think of is this morning, at breakfast, when Ghost forgot to take his mask off and tried to drink his tea, nearly waterboarding himself. And how, in response, Johnny laughed so hard he shot milk from his nose. So, at the moment, charming and mysterious are not words you would use to describe them.

Charming is a word strictly used to describe another member of your team. One with pretty brown eyes that shine like amber in the sunlight. One with a honeyed voice that makes you a little weak in the knees. One that these Privates are not asking about.

You blink, breaking yourself out of your thoughts. There must be a look on your face, because the rookies giggle like they've caught you red handed.

“You'll learn that all men are dogs,” you reply sternly. “No amount of pretty words is worth dying for.”

Hypocrite, you think. You'd throw yourself in the line of fire, if it meant hearing Gaz laugh. You'd dragged yourself out of the pits of hell, just for a chance to see him smile once more. Just to hear him call your name, always so fond when he does.

“Oh my god!” One of the girls squeals. “You've got a crush!”

“Is it MacTavish? Because he's so dreamy!” The other giggles.

Just your luck. These recruits think you've got a crush on the wrong guy, and knowing rookies, the rumor will be halfway through the base before dinner.

“Don't you ladies have better shit to do than bother my Sargent?” Ghost's voice cuts through their incessant questions.

Both girls squeak out a “Yes, Lieutenant,” before they're scrambling away. But you know the damage is done. Everyone's going to think you have a crush on Soap, of all people.

You glance up at Ghost, who's still watching the recruits run off. “So… how much of that did you hear?”

He snorts, something like amusement in his voice as he replies. “Enough, but I know you don't like Johnny. Have'ta be stupid not to see the way you look at Gaz.”

You feel your face immediately heat up. “Hey! It's not that obvious!” You argue, playfully punching Ghost's shoulder.

His eyes crinkle at the sides, your sign that he's smiling under the mask. His shoulders shake with silent laughter. “S’ that what you tell yourself? We've all seen the way you soften up around ‘im.”

You let out a sigh of defeat, knowing damn well there's no point arguing with him. But it's the next thing Ghost says, that makes your eyes widen and your jaw drop.

“He just needs to man up and ask you out. Tired o’ watching you two pine like school kids.”

[reddesires]

Imagine our boys when their S/O sneezes but not that quiet sneeze, its like the dad sneeze like my soul leaves my body, i think im dying kind of dad sneeze 😭 and then their S/O just looks at them being confused of their weird stares 💀

A/N: I love them. They're goofy in their own individualistic ways. Honestly, I feel they have such vast differences in their personalities that it's really funny to me when you think about their reactions in different kind of situations. This was definitely a favorite of mine.

Caesar:

Mf gives you the side eye. Nothing is said as you look at him with a straight face while he still stares at you from the corner of his eye. Why tf is he even looking at you like that?

"Don't even look at me, you know for damn sure that your folks sneezed too." he slowly looks at you head on. "You sneeze too alike to them. " Your jaw drops at the implication. Be so forreal right now! Is he suggesting that you sneeze like a grown man?!

The horror and offense clear on your face as Caesar goes back to his task, yeah no there's no way you're allowing that kind of disrespect as you jump him from behind. "Take that back fucker!"

Noa:

Noa tries his hardest to hold back the holler of laughter trying to escape him, snot shooting out his nostrils from the effort. You scream in shock and disgust.

"Noa! Ew!" You yell scurrying from beside him, hooting laughter racking through his body "you sneeze like the Elders" You gasp in embarrassed  offense, that was an insult to another plain, between you and the trio, being compared to the Elders there was nothing worse.

You jump up to storm off in the opposite direction of him, determined to get away from him, but he's already chasing after you "No Echo! Don't go!" He's struggling from the amused huffs plaguing him and trying to catch his breath as he throws himself onto your back, your body crumbling from his weight. "Get off, you stinky monkey!"

Blue Eyes:

Poor baby jumps in shock at the booming noise that escaped you, his head slowly turning in your direction as you innocently look at him, your wide doe looking eyes gazing back him. Nothing is said as you two stare back at each other. He bewilderedly looks around before signing at you.

"Was.. that you?" You scrunch your eyebrows in feign confusion at his question."What was me?" He frowns his chin jutting into his neck, the furrow in his brow showing his clear perplexity, you stifle a laugh as you watch him question himself.

Koba:

As soon as the sneeze is out of you, Koba smacks the shit out of you, your head ducking at the force of his palm, you immediately hold the back of your head.

"What the fuck was that for Koba?!" You yell, rubbing the spot his hard ass hand landed upon. "Shut up" he says nonchalantly a shit eating smirk sitting on his face, bruh as if you could control a natural bodily function.

What did you do to deserve this disrespect? You grumble as you massage your sore spot, the glare he directs your way, only making you throw the middle finger at him. "Mean ass fucker."

[tennessoui]

Vos being Obi-Wan's emergency contact....Vos going to find him and knowing something is wrong with Obi-Wan because the halls of healing contacted him because he's Obi-Wan's emergency contact so it must be SERIOUS. Vos finding Obi-Wan at a bar getting drunk (?) so it must be SERIOUS SERIOUS....Vos still taking the time to roast him about falling in love with Anakin <3

i think they're being top tier best friends in this scene. vos teasing the shit out of obi-wan, obi-wan stoically taking it with little protest, vos really digging himself a hole that obi-wan watches him dig for a hot minute before correcting him that actually obi-wan and anakin AREN'T together and obi-wan is in love with anakin and it's LITERALLY killing him. how does that feel now vos. not so funny anymore huh. im literally dying. cough cough. bitch.

[kosmical]

alr i'll bite what's isat

Omg thanks for opening pandoras box! You will regret this

In stars and time is the recent food source of my brain eating amoeba and it Will Not Leave. before i get into why im rabid about it though ill give a brief synopsis . putting a read more here because i suspect this post will get LONG.

its a game about a classic rpg party on the last two days of their quest to save the country from The King who is freezing everything, including people, in time. the main character, Siffrin, is the party's rogue who, upon going into the House of Change (the game's dungeon so to speak) and promptly dying, finds out that they're trapped in a time loop. they're the only one who remembers repeating the last two days- aside from a star named loop who helps him try and figure out whats going on, why, and how to break out.

Now personally ive never been invested in a time loop story?? Im not sure if thats because i havent consumed much media thats implemented it before as its main premise or if i just havent been interested but i think in stars and time meshes the two different genres a time loop story can fall into really well (the mystery and the emotional conflict).

The mystery is what drives you through the game (and there are other questions unrelated to the timeloop about siffrin's origin and the world itself that i think handle a variety of themes like loss of culture and personal transformation really well but thats a different tangent) but the emotional parts are what really got me. You have to watch almost in the backseat as Siffrin is like. Slowly depersonalized from the people they care about. All while refusing to tell them anything about their misery because they don't want to burden them or drag them into his suffering. Even happy moments that Siffrin doesnt mind repeating become tainted because it becomes a matter of acting so that the "scene" doesnt stray from its path and his party doesnt become suspicious.

and yet they still DO, both in regards to Siffrin's World Alteringly Terrible Case of the Mondays and the actual time loop. they notice how tired and fake he seems. one of my absolute favorite scenes is one where you interact with a closet and it provokes a conversation about where Siffrin got their cloak from and how long they've had it, because its really one of a kind. it has temperature regulatory magic imbued in the stitches and is made to grow with him. And siffrin just cant fucking remember. not only because hes been looping so long that its created a haze over his mind but because he has no true "identity." and as he's scrambling to fill in an answer for this hole in his head, a gust of wind hits his face because one of their friends, isabeau, flapped his cloak while inspecting it to ground him. and he disguises it by commenting on the thickness of the cloak.

Getting this scene by accident on my playthrough made me feel so many feelings dude like . Siffrin isn't the only one trying to hide things. Their friends care about him so much and they try to disguise how concerned thwy are and its just. Im . Im Normal.

its not just about that though . Like if you start finding shit a little too fast they'll start catching on to whats happening. a little sound effect will play whenever you know something you shouldn't know and the others notice and whenever it happened i was like. Twisting in my seat waiting for them to call me out.

it all builds up into this really fucking painful emotional climax that i will not talk about because i don't want to spoil more than i already have but omg. I was writhing. It was. Hhhggnngh.hfg. Glass shards in ym mouth yummy

On the topic of shit i cant talk about: My favorite character is this fucking thing

I have held off from talking about loop's role in the story because i cant describe to you why they make me so ill. Not because i dont know Why but because it is something you should experience yourself. They're really charming and funny and their dialogue is fantastic. Of course that's part of the reason i lauve them but theres also the underlying secondary mystery of why they're here/who and or what they are/etc. And when u know. Its. I Cant Tell You. BUT ITS REALLY GOOD. ITS REALLY REALLY GOOD. Just know that if you get to the end and are still confused about them. That theres more than the main ending . AND IT IS PROBABLY WHY I AM SO INSANE ABOUT THIS GAME HONESTLY. I LOVE YOU FOREVER LOOP . im ok

In short: In stars and time is a game that is good and you should play it :) Im pretty sure its on sale right now on steam so yeah go get that.

if you made it through this fucking dissertation length post on isat CONGRATULATIONS ! heres some miscellaneous doodles ive done of it in the past month since ive played it love love

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Hey do you think ya can explain Barnaby and his illusion smoke a bit? It seems really cool and I don't remember if ya talked about it in depth before

sure! this got a bit longer than i expected!

so i was thinking that Barnaby seems like more of a hands-off kinda guy when it comes to altercations. would rather sit back and make funny commentary! so if he Had to get involved, i imagine it would be from a distance and still in an Entertaining Way!

thus - illusion magic! for this au i've been picturing that he got his paws on some illusionary herb in his early teens. for making people laugh, you know! and help out with the farm - illusions could distract animals, convince them to move on to different pastures, calm the chickens for egg-collecting, etc!

Ms. Beagle didn't really approve, since smoking is harmful, but lucky for the both of them this particular plant doesn't deal as much damage when smoked as normal smoking materials would - like tobacco! something to do with the magic properties! so Barnaby mostly used it for chores (when his mama wasn't paying attention, ofc - it's still a bad habit in her eyes) and entertainment purposes.

how it works: on its own, it doesn't do much when burned. it's not like illusions will waft out of the pipe's bowl, or that sniffing it will give someone hallucinations. in order for it to work properly, the user has to inhale properly, form the Intent of what the illusion should be / look like / behave, then purposefully blow the smoke out with that thought firmly in mind. the reach of the smoke depends on the force of Intent, and the intensity depends on the amount inhaled. those that breathe it in / are surrounded by it will see hallucinations of whatever Barnaby - or whoever the user is - wants them to! it can be literally anything! whether or not the target is fooled depends entirely on the individual, but the herb is potent enough that most are convinced that what they "see" is real (auditory hallucinations only occur if the target breathes in the smoke)

upsides: this form of magic is great for distractions, cover, deescalation, and that kind of thing. if needed, Barnaby could stop a fight with one exhale! it's a pretty powerful trick! it also means that Barnaby has built up a tolerance to illusion magic over the years, so where most of the party would be tricked, Barnaby would be unfazed. the only one with total immunity to the form of magic is Wally!

downsides: if Barnaby uses too much in too short of a time, it will get to him. and since he breathes in the largest amount - undiluted at that - it can fuck him up! using it sparingly / using repeated small amounts doesn't do anything. the most it will do is make him feel slightly untethered, but he has an easy time ignoring it / shaking it off.

in mild cases of the magic getting to him, it's like a bad trip. his proprioception is messed with (basically he gets uncharacteristically clumsy & off-balance), he feels like he's falling, anxiety spikes, and his vision is just... off! there are blind spots (im talking actual blind spots, not spots of black), things are moving in ways that they shouldn't, he has mild auditory hallucinations. the others can help ground him by talking to him, touching him, and confirming what's real and what isn't.

in bad cases, it's like that but 10 times worse. on top of all of the previous symptoms being worsened, he gets extremely vivid hallucinations, and they're very often not fun! it's a simultaneous feeling of dying, going insane, and not knowing what the fuck is going on. Barnaby loses sense of where he is, who's where, what's happening. he can get lost in the hallucinations - he has no way to know that they aren't real. in these terrible trips, no one can really help him. they can't get through the hallucinations, and if they do, the magic morphs Barnaby's perception of them and they end up adding to the effects. honestly the best thing for him is to let him rest somewhere with as little sensory input as possible & leave him be until he starts to come down. physical contact does help, since Barnaby understands on an instinctive level that illusions can't touch him, but it doesn't help half as much as it does w/ the mild trips. and again, the presence of someone can make the hallucinations worse.

so! suffice to say! he doesn't like using the herb all that often, and it's why he Stays Out Of It unless absolutely needed. he has two pouches of the herb - one with the strong stuff, reserved for emergencies / one with just a tiny bit of it mixed in with Barnaby's own personal blend for recreational/everyday use. (he also has an emergency tobacco stash in his pack, but that's only for when he's completely out of his usual blend <3)

extra lil scribble that didn't make it into the lil doodle post... i broke his wrist...

[corporatefrog]

꒦‧₊ ꒷ team stan with a secretly ripped reader [headcannons]✧.*

✧.* tags: fem!reader, college au ✧.* Characters: kenny mccormick, kyle broflovski, stan marsh, butters stotch a/n: i think kenny's section is so funny please think it's funny too. actually i think they're all funny idk what im saying im hilarious

masterlist

Kenny

You probably reveal your strength one time when saving him from dying

After that’s he’s obsessed

Dude he definitely loves muscle mommys 

Buff women??? Sign him UP 

throw him across the room DO IT

Asks for uppies 

“Can you carry me to my next class?”

“I take off my sweatshirt one time and suddenly your legs are broken?”

“Yeah my legs just turn to jello whenever im around you” 

You make him walk. 

Butters

He is so in awe of you

But also terrified of you

“Oh merciful goddess, please spare our stupid male lives! We know not of your true divinity!”

“Butters get off the ground wtf.”

You need ANYTHING he is on it.

Now whenever he tells you about Eric being a dick to him, Eric is TERRIFIED because he can hear you from a mile away

Butters defender #1 right here

Stan

Bro is ENVIOUS

He tried to have a gym rat era but got annoyed with having to fit things in his schedule after a few days

He had to miss BOARD GAME CLUB for a gym session and that was unacceptable 

So you’re basically everything he wants to be

Probably asks what your workout routine is

Tries to copy it and gets a leg cramp halfway through the first bulgarian squat

Spends the rest of the day laying in bed thinking about how strong you are

Kyle

He is so confused

It doesn’t add up that you’ve been this ripped the whole time and not ONCE used it to your advantage

Him and stan tried to get buff at the same time

Kyle had more dedication than stan though

And now you’ve got a gym buddy 

He’s definitely not good at building muscle mass

But it’s a good place to relieve stress

Just thinks about how much he hates cartman the whole time and it powers him for at least an hour and a half of GAINS

[zabala0z]

S3 is once again killing me again with all the lore and I love it. School started up so I might be slower with my thoughts but I got episodes 92, 93, 94 and 95 to talk about!!!

MAG 92: Nothing Beside Remains

Elias makes me want to eat my phone, similar to that one guy from MAG 65 :) I was like screaming the whole time. Of course he can see everything, he literally called the police before Daisy came. I took that as "oh he has spies" but no he can see everything, I hate that. Is Jon eventually gonna get that ability or does The Eye give different gifts. Elias hasn't shown any "compellling" sort of power so I assume the latter. ALSO MORDECAI LUKAS?? I need to see a statement from a Lukas member cause what is up with that family, I'm dying.

Guess Basira is now working there. Hope Elias is paying her. the fact he won't tell Jon shit is so funny to me. So The Stranger is now, basically, the confirmed main villain. BBEG yknow? Mildly terrified, I hate circuses and mannequins so this season is gonna like body me

Not much to say on MAG 93 but whatever entity has the whole "gross shit" as its deal, I'm guessing this falls under it. Purple fungus, the obsessive cleaning, etc. Also yaaay Breekon and Hopes!! Again!11!! get out! Poor Georgie. Love her for being like "Do you even have qualifications??". Jons explanation helped me a lot because during Elias's explanations, I'm mostly just muttering curses to myself because I HATE Him. Avatars. Baller. So Jude Perry was the avatar of The Desolation (destruction, fire, etc) Michael Crew was the avatar of The Vast (sky??, emptiness, general loneliness) and then like Jon is an avatar and I'm guessing so is Elias. I think you can have more then one avatar but anyways.

MAG 94: Dead Woman Walking

Jon refereed to the entity as "The End" which, using my notes, was mentioned in Mary keys statement when gertrude asked where the book came from and Mary said "The End" and said she could never serve it, not finding death interesting. Wild that she can't feel fear anymore??? Like damn. This kinda read as someone in a depressive state in some form. Or like a nihilistic person. Cause like "everything ends, time, it has already ended". Wild.

Not much to say on MAG 95 but I did understand the context vaguely which is more then what I can say for the other war statements. Also Martin and Basira friendship??? Love it. She gets really engrossed in books. I dunno if she was like lying or this is something supernatural related but I love Basira

MAG 96: Return to Sender

Literally screeching oh my god. The fact these things just hijacked this mans business is almost funny. They also talked with a circus ringmaster. Nikola Orsinov? gregor Orsinov? A different one. the statement was given 1996 and Gregor was the leader around the 40's but Nikola, by her description I think, sounded young. So. Who was this ringmaster? Maybe Im getting the timeframe wrong. or they're like eternal. Maybe they like just shed skin and steal a new body, just going by the same last name- okay I don't know.

Also, SARAH BALDWIN???? Welcome back girl. The fact the gorilla skin was stolen by gertrude means she was trying to stop The Unknowing, and likely that's why its been this long for it to happen, because they need that skin. Ew. The Stranger loves skin a little too much. Also Sarah being filled with sawdust and cloves. Great. If Not Sasha was shot, would we have seen that? Or is it different with every one of those, NotThem.?

Anyways, I think that's everything. Every statement, I'm kinda thinking, "which entity does this fall under" now that I know the surrounding universe. Tough since I only know 6 by name and I think there's more. 6 too many entities for this world though

[soapyghost]

EMBERS

Firefighter John Price x Fem! Reader

I constantly have Price brain rot so like have my horny thoughts. Hear me out- firefighter price. EH? EHHHH?? Ok fuck you im doing it :) Anyways- this is dedicated to my local fire department cuz they are FINE AF (i see yall at the grocery store how u doin)

So I’m planning on making this a series. A lil slow burn. Idk how many parts. Enjoy the ride. Lmk if you want to be put on the tag list.

Warnings: eventual smut!!! Fluff, fire, mentions of injuries, angst kinda? Use of Y/N. Let me know if I missed anything.

Tag list- @southernbluebellereader (thank you so much for letting me vent about this work ily)

Funny how the worst night of your life would lead you to the best night of your life. Waking up the the blaring sounds of an alarm, you roll over and blindly grab your phone. It couldn't be 7am already can it? You tap on the screen to reveal it's only 2:47am and that sound was not your alarm. It takes you a moment to realize the ear shattering sound is coming from the fire alarm in your kitchen.

Without thinking you fling yourself out of the embrace of the covers only to be met with thick, choking, black smoke. Sputtering you being to cough and eyes filling with tears as you drop to the ground. Crawling to the door on all fours you slowly make your way across the hard vinyl flooring. Again, you mindlessly grab the door handle only to immediately fall backwards onto your back at the searing pain now flowing through your hand. A scream escapes your mouth as you look down, and even in the dark of the room you can see the charred flesh of your hand.

This is it, you think, swallowing hard. This is how you go. Scared and alone in your shitty one bedroom apartment in the same shitty town you were born. They're going to find your body on the morning news, charred and nearly unrecognizable, wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt and panties. You let out a sob as the tears begin to fall from your eyes, mixing with the soot in the air. The burning only adds to your hysteria. Curling up into the fetal position and rocking back and forth you wait for your end.

Suddenly the door to your bedroom is smashed open, wood chips flying everywhere. You scream again and fling your eyes open. Before you stands a giant, a monster. You let out another scream and begin shuffling backwards to the corner of the room. The large creature begins moving towards you and scoops you up like you were nothing. You'd come to terms with dying and becoming a crisp but not dying to a shadow. Squirming you try to get out of the iron clad grasp holding you bridal style. "I got one, she's alive" a voice comes from the monster. Its not until you're out in the hallway that you finally notice, its not a creature, not a monster, but a man.

Piercing blue eyes look down at you from the inside of a yellow hood, crinkling into a small smile. "It's going to be ok, shhh" the thick British voice says, muffled by the gas mask protecting his face. Gulping and holding back tears, you simply nod before putting your face into his chest.

Cold air hits your thighs as you breach the exit of the apartment complex. A gasp escapes your throat and goosebumps immediately cover your body. A small chuckle escapes the figure holding you. He sets you down on the grass, far out of the reach of the fire engulfing your home. You open your eyes to look upon your savior as he kneels down to remove his mask. When he does, the world seems to move in slow motion like one of those stupid commercials.

He's simply breathtaking, from his perfect blue eyes to the well groomed beard that graces his face. "You alrigh' luv?" he asks, reaching out a gloved hand to your shoulder. His voice shakes you out of your daze, back to the harsh reality that you are half naked on the grass outside the crumbling building you used to live in.

It's such a simple question, but after everything you've just been through, it hits like a ton of bricks and tears begin to well up in your eyes again. "Thank you" you hiccup out between sobs, holding tightly onto the hand on your shoulder. He grabs you and brings you into a tight embrace. The world stops, there's no more yelling, no more burning buildings, no more sirens. Its just you and him.

"Cap? You good?" a voice breaks through your fantasy, and you whip your head around to see yet another beautiful man. This one sporting a mohawk and beautiful hazel eyes. "All good here Soap, go." your savior commands. "Soap?" you croak, a huff of a laugh escaping you. Looking back to the man holding you together, a soft smile crawls upon your lips. "Ha, yeah. Long story. You never answered me luv, you alright?" he asks, pulling away slightly to look you over, suddenly realizing just how exposed you were.

Immediately he takes off his jacket and lays it on you, offering you some small form of coverage. "'M alrigh" you respond, breathless. Truth be told, you were far from alright, but that was all you could muster. The man smiles at you and begins to get up, but before you can think you reach out and pull him back, "please... please don't leave" you whisper. His eyes widen ever so slightly, before he holds you back. "Alrigh' luv I won't leave you, cmon'" he smiles, scooping you back up and taking you to the back of the ambulance.

Setting you down in the back, he readjusts the jacket to cover your lower half before looking back up into your eyes, "Names John" he says. You look up into the eyes of the man who just saved your life, "John" you say, testing out the feeling of his name on your tongue. "That's it luv, don't wear it out now ya 'ear?" he murmurs into your ear before finally untangling himself from you. A small whine escapes your throat at the loss of contact, and a blush rises up your face as you realize that he definitely heard it. He chuckles, "alrigh' love, I need to go back to my team, will you let the paramedics check you out?" he asks, looking deep in your eyes. You swallow thickly and nod, "will you come back?" you whisper, your face growing redder by the second. "Of course, luv" he says before cupping your cheek and smiling. He drops his hand, offering you one last smile before saying, “take good care of her eh Gaz?”. He turns his back and jogs back to the firetruck.

The paramedic begins to check you out, tending to your hand. He’s also good looking; tall, muscular and sporting a baseball cap. You notice he also has a slight accent. As he grabs the gauze to wrap your hand he says, “so you didn’t pay attention in school huh?” The remark catches you off guard and you simply blink in confusion at the man, did he really just ask you that? “You shouldn’t grab metal in a fire” he chuckles, finishing your hand and giving you a pat on the shoulder.

“Guess not huh” you respond sheepishly. Not only were you almost burnt to a crisp but now you’re getting chastised for not remembering elementary school training. “Ah, we all forget things in the moment. You’ll be ight” he smiles, placing his med kit back in the ambulance. You look down at the jacket covering your bare legs, it reads in all caps “PRICE”. John Price.

Johns smiling face rounds the corner just as Gaz finishes cleaning up, “how she lookin’ kid?” he asks, looking at you. “Ah she’ll be ight cap” Gaz responds, taking the unspoken hint to slip away and leave you two alone. You absentmindedly flex your hand, the feeling of the gauze on your hand unfamiliar and coarse.

“You alright sweetheart?” John kneels to be closer to your height, his eyes looking deep into yours. “Much better now. I don’t think I’ll ever forget to not touch metal” you laugh weakly. His laugh surprises you, deep and rich. The wrinkles by his eyes deepen as he laughs.

Now that the immediate threat of dying was over, you began to notice just how attractive John was. His muscles rippling underneath the tight long sleeve made your head spin. Or maybe it was the smoke inhalation. You could make out the salt and pepper greys in his beard and hair. And to top it all off, his beautiful blue eyes. You could get lost in them, you were lost in them.

A hand waves itself infront of your face and snaps you back to reality. You’d been caught and you blushed feverishly. “Luv?” John asked, “I asked ya a question.” “Oh ah uh. Sorry. Adrenaline” you answer, eyes darting to the concrete below, trying desperately to hide your face. “I asked if you got somewhere to stay?” He questions again. “Oh. Uhm. Yeah I can get a hotel.” You say, not quite sure how you’ll afford it but you really don’t have any option. “Well then, we’ll take ya” John smiles, holding out his hand.

You grab his hand and move his jacket so it’s resting on your shoulders. He leads you back to the fire truck where the rest of his crew is waiting. “Cap?” A man in a balaclava asks. “Were just taking.. hmm didn’t catch your name luv” John looks over to you. “Oh it’s Y/N” you say, blushing once again. “Beautiful. We’re dropping Y/N off a hotel” John states, recieving nods from his crew.

The ride there is quiet, John driving, the smell of smoke suffocating the cab of the truck. All the men looked exhausted, the one they called soap dozing off. But the man in the balaclava never took his eyes off you, never waivered. You found him odd, his stare unsettling you a bit.

When you finally make it to a hotel Soap wakes and opens the door for you, where John is waiting to help you down. He leads you into the lobby and before you can speak he says “one room for the lady please” to the receptionist. The woman behind the desk smiles and says, “sure thing John” before sliding him a key.

“But wait- I need to pay!” You exclaim. John simply laughs and extends his hand out again to lead you to your room. “No need to worry luv, this is on me” he smiles. You could get lost forever in that smile, would do anything to get to see it. The walk to your room seeming all too short, he drops your hand to unlock the door and holds it open for you.

“Get some rest alright?” He says, looking down at you. All the adrenaline has evaporated from your body and all you can think about is how comfortable that bed looks. You look up to him and whisper, “thank you.” He smiles again, before gesturing you inside. “Sleep well, luv’” he murmurs before closing the door and leaving you in the darkness of the hotel room.

You don’t even remember crawling into bed or even falling asleep. When you wake, you’re comfortably in bed still in John Prices jacket.

[themultifandomgal]

Shelby Sister- I Didn’t Know

Last night I started to get these funny aches and pains in my stomach. Putting it down to my monthly arriving I ignored them after getting myself a hot water bottle and went to sleep. However I woke up about 3am in the worst pain I've ever experienced. These period pains are truly something else. Groaning I get out of bed and make my way done to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea hoping to ease the pain.

7am rolls around and I'm in agony. Aunt Polly and Tommy are now up and wondering what to do. Polly has tried everything she can think of to help with the pains, but nothing is working and the pains are just getting worse

"That's it's I'm ringing a doctor. This isn't normal"

"Yeah ok" Polly breathes out giving in, also so confused to why my pains are so bad this month. Tears are falling down my face

"Aunt Poll an I dying?" I ask

"No. Tommys going to ring the best doctor he can to come over and give you a check up"

"Poll I'm scared"

"I know, but you don't need to be, everything's going to be ok"

Within 30 minutes a doctor has arrived and had been checking me over

"Ok there's one last thing I want to check" he says taking our stethoscope

"You've already listed to her heartbeat" Tommy frowns in confusion, but the doctor proceeds to place his stethoscope on my stomach

"Aunt Poll what's he.."

"Shh" the doctor says as he listens "unbelievable. This is so rare. I've never seen this happen before"

"What? Am I dying?"

"No, your in active labour"

"I'm what?"

"She's what?" Aunt Polly, Tommy and I say all at the same time

"You had no idea you were pregnant?" The doctor asked

"I.. no. I had my monthly every month on time"

"Have you wet yourself yet?"

"Pardon?"

"He's asking if your waters have broken, but you will have wet yourself since you wouldn't have had any warning of it happening"

"No"

"Well then I think we should get you up on your feet and walking about. That should help"

"Who did this?" Tommy asks

"What?"

"Who got you pregnant. I'll fucking kill em"

"No you will not. Unless that is you were forced"

"No he was sweet, promise"

"Who..."

"Tommy let's do this later yeah? Go and ring the others let them know whats going on"

After walking around the house and my waters breaking, I was checked over and now it's time to push. Polly holds my hand while the doctor is at the other end. My brothers are all at the pup trying to figure out who the father is

"Ok next wave I need you to push"

"I can't"

"Yes you can. You can do this YN"

"I'm not ready to be a mum"

"Nobody ever is, but you heard the doctor when you feel that wave of pain you push as hard as you can" the wave of pain hits me and I push like Polly said

"Ok good. I need another big one like that ok?" the doctor says earning a nod from me. This goes on for a while until Im finally holding my baby I'm my arms. A little boy

"It's Isaiah's isn't it?" Polly sighs. I nod my head. We had been secretly courting each other for the last year now

"Toms gonna kill 'im Poll" I say worriedly

"No he's not”

Everyone's going to hate me now. Im an unmarried woman with a baby. People are racist Poll they're going to hate us all"

"Who cares what people think. I'm going to find Isaiah and bring him here to meet his son and I'm going to stop your brothers from drinking themselves silly"

Isaiah came over to meet his son, while Polly does damage control with my brothers. When they come over they are a lot calmer that I expect them to be. I guess Aunt Polly can me very scary when she wants to be

"So what's little lads name?" Arthur asks through gritted teeth

"Walter Shelby Jesus" I smile looking down at the newborn

"I'll ask Esme where the kids old clothes are"

"Thanks John" I give him a little smile

"So when's the wedding?" Tommy asks

"Tommy not now" Polly scolds shaking her head "let them be for now. Right come on let's leave them alone"

"That's how they go into this mess" Arthur mumbles

"Out now. Come on" Polly usurers everyone out of the room leaving Isaiah and I to fall in love with our baby.

[boosaot]

Guess who finally kicked their ass into gear and it watching "Army of the Doomstar"

(vv Spoilers cuz I'm legit yapping about the whole movie vv)

LONG post warning

Dude Toki is looking ROUGH

How about we un-shift gears and mind our damn business

NAW Toki's lil sad noise after Skwis refused his hug :(

Nathan's goin thru it jeez- IN THE MEDICAL WARD CUZ OF PTSD DAMN

Intro got me groovin'

Am I crazy or did the quality of animation get a lot better?

Murderface,,, Time and Place dude,,

THEYRE LIKE CHILDREN IM HOLLERING WHY IS TOKI LICKING THE FUCKING PEW IM ACTUALLY TEARING UP HOLY SHIT

!!Get off of me don't touch Skwigsaar!!

Pickles exhausted mom core

What an entrance Nathan "Uhh-Hi. Sorry. I'm on Xanax"

SORRY WHAT- Xan, Red Wine AND COFFEE brother is OUT OF IT

"fuck off."

Charles,, brother,, this man is not hearing a WORD you just said

IM OGING TO THROW UP FROM LAUGHING TOO MUCH

Marriage wont fix your trauma bestie- NATHAN PLEASE STAND UP

TAKE A LAP AROUFN THE BLOCK THINK ABOUT IT I- EHERHAHA

Nathan is just embarrassing the both of them in front of EVERYONE

IM- "There's no way this day could get any worse" "Please Welcome Dr. Rockzo, The Rock n' Roll Clown"

Someone kill this fuck-ass clown PLEASE his ass is OUT OF TUNE

Someone grab another pair of noise canceling headphones STAT

BRO YOU ARENT EVEN USING THEM PASS 'EM OVER

This has got to be a wild sight for Nathan bro is out of it

Fire cum is a new one,,, thank you for that Murderface

that was a bit excessive,, (actually startled me ngl)

hehaahEHAHA KNUBBLER YOU FUCKING LOSER (affectionate) looks so goofy fallin down the stairs

lol Toki quickly taking his feet out at MF pissing in their water supply (either cuz MF is literally pissing in the water or he himself didn't know he was putting his feet in their water supply,, either way, cute)

"Fuckers will be dying and shit" so real babe

Their hair wavin' in the wind so pretty

Sister Sunshine Rainbow Marshmallow Toki realness

:( this just make me sad bruh poor Murderface :(

THE WAY THEY JUST LET PICKLES FALL ON THE GROUND

Knubbler's losing it,, man,, that was good food too

Awe Toki's lil cheering while Nathan's climb

OKAY Animation I see you (Drugs ftw I guess)

SHOWTIME BAEBEYY

The ANIMATION WRAAA I am eating it (it looks so good)

Well as good of a song as this is,,, I HIGHLY doubt its the right one,, judging from all the death,, and non-salvation happening

GET UR ASS UP BITCH HEY YOUY BLOND FUCK GET TF UP HEY

nah im sure hes fine but still WAKE UP BESTIE (konked tf out)

BRO- Murderface the poor dude wtf man,,

damn R.I.P Knubbler u were a real one

IS HE PLAYING THE GUITAR PASSED OUT I-

bro is looking scrumptious

wet cat skwisgaar pt.2

he looks so baby right here whatthefuck

There was no way to convey this scene through text that would do it justice so here (The lil "uh-ow what the fuck ow" HAD ME CACKLING)

*claps*

Nathan you queer (<3)

even just the intro to the song is so fucking good dude )the lil "bwow-u-woung" noise from the guitar mnyamnyamnyam saur good)

Pickles is going insane on the drums

Salacia how about you go suck a bag of dicks

I wheezed (me too buddy)

They're on some gay shit rn (good for them)

Thousand yard stare

awe Toki

SKWISGAAR YOU CUNT IM HEHEHAHEHEEHAH

AYY fat kid survived the cats good for him

Hip jut out ok sass

LETS GOOOOO

WHALE GOD MVP

fellas... (Skwisgaar so princess loser here)

Nathen realizing the fans are the Army of the Doomstar is so fuckign funny (his lil "Holy Shit"s r so funny)

awe proud dad smile

-

That was such a good movie,,, holy fuckin shit,,

"chirp"

[demonictumble]

fic rec list (1/??? )

this is a fic recommendation list for whomever wants a good read. All of these are on AO3. I have not provided links, so just search them up!

If you do end up reading any of these, or really any fic in general, remember to leave the author comments!! They deserve them, esp because they do this for free and they deserve to know how beautiful their writing is and how appreciated they are.

My PSA: COMMENT ON FICS AND DONT TAKE AUTHORS FOR GRANTED

DC..

IMPORTANT NOTE I am not a religious fan where I only like a fic when it adheres to canon characterization or texts. I can enjoy fics even when they completely throw off what's actually canon and that's okay for me, but it might not be for you. So just keep this in mind and the back button exists for a reason if you don't like something.

Buy Back the Secrets by Sundiscus (incomplete)

Tim Drake and Kon El centered!! OH MY GODS. I could rave on and on about this fic all day but I'll have to keep it brief. I've reread at LEAST 5 times. It's brilliant. The writing, the plot, the characterizations!! They are incredible. If I had to use a phrase to describe it, it would be "identity shenanigans and timkon" but that simplifies the absolute masterpiece that it is SO MUCH

Executive Assistant to the Batman by heartslogos (complete)

Tim is basically Bruce Wayne's assistant and is desperately trying to avoid letting them know that he knows. This is complete crack, but it is hilarious. The writing is so funny and It's what I need after a bad day or anything tbh. It may not be completely true to characters or whatever, but it makes up for it a thousand times over in spirit and the laughs it's produced from me.

anything (not the title because literally ANYTHING) by IzzyMRDB

I can rave about them all day because the dc/batfam fics I have seen them right are all so delicious and I devoured them far too fast and momggg its just so good. and I love their writing style <3

Reverse Robin AU by yellow_cabellero (complete)

I CANNOT DO THIS SERIES JUSTICE WITH MY WORDS. IT is a must read for me. The writer writes spectacularly and the characterization, even though its a reverse robin, feels on point, especially considering the circumstances (Im a huge believer in circumstances shape a person's personality, which is what I think occurs beautifully in all of these fics). They're just so GOOD.

Also this author has a STEPH FIC that is stunning. 10/10. Steph is a character that doesn't get the appreciation she deserves, so this fic was especially more touching for me. It was terrific seeing her girl bossing in the 90s (IT ALSO FELT SO PERIOD ACCURATE CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT). Not to mention, the author shows off character flaws in a believable manner and nobody is a Mary Sue and it's just EVERYUTHING IS JUST *chefs kiss* by them.

The Fishbowl by LordLuxury (complete)

This is Dick Grayson centered. THEY HAVE MADE A MASTERPIECE. I genuinely mean it. Dick is constantly trying to pull the family together, he is trying to be the glue as everything tries to go the opposite. LET THIS MAN HAVE HIS FAMILY. This had me in shambles. Bad Dad Bruce hurt me, but it was just so realistic. That's what gets me. The whole dynamics portrayed in The Fishbowl are so goddamn realistic and it feels so real. Everyone is flawed in their own way and its just... PLEASE READ IT I BEG OF YOU.

Love and Bruises by Acin_Grayson and Hoebiwan (complete)

Despite what the title may suggest, this is actually funny! Jason thinks Batman is abusing Bruce. And I just remember dying of laughter as I read this. Terrific! Would read and Will read again

Marvel (I am a movies fan so most if not all fics I recommend from here on out will be probably based on movies!)

Tennessee Outreach for Spider-Man and Friends by ciaconna

GREAT FIC. Harley (potato gun kid in one of the iron man movies for those who don't remember) gets an internship with Tony stark for college application reasons and its to help Spiderman. Peter Parker and Harley whateverhislastname is such a funny duo and they made the fic spectacular. Terrific writing omg.

Peter and the Jailbirds by beautifullights

I THINK THIS FIC HURT ME. I don't really remember much bc its been a year and a half, but I think my emotions remember because I feel mildly sad when I think about it. Peter is on the raft and bonds with the ex-avengers also on the raft. The premise of a teenager possibly spending the rest of his life in prison is terrible, but I swear this fic has funny moments and the conversations that occur are to die for because the WRITING. WHEW.

O Brother, Where Art Thou? by theskeptileptic

Tony survives and it's set after No Way Home. Where I'm pretty sure the only people dead are May and Pepper. Morgan saves the day by remembering her big brother (Im a sucker for big brother Peter arc). Peter is kind of a mini Tony in this one I think, which is such an interesting take. And it's such a coming home story and its just so beautiful.

Cross Overs:

Even Heroes Have the Right To Dream by Bounemr (complete)

mlb/dc crossover!! where marinate and Jon are retired superhero and go to college together! Great writing and plot with a good ending. Fluffy for the most part as far I as I can remember (it's been a year since I've read it so you know it's good if I can still remember)

Hired Hands by neighborhood_yogurt (incomplete)

Percy Jackson/ DC crossover!! It's been a while since I've read this one too but It's stuck with me. It's hilarious and I need to reread it but Percy is accidentally on Penguin's payroll because he's just a dumb blonde at heart, but it's okay we all love him. And Shenanigans occur. I don't remember exactly what happens so reminder to read this again for myself as well!

(IDK if any of these authors have tumblrs, if they do, someone please tag them and I will forever be in your debt)

[novembermorgon]

pspspspsps incestuous lann siblings…elaborate further blease

is it emotional? do they constantly toe the line of will we won’t we? do things get exponentially worse once myrielle marries into the notoriously incestuous royal family? does myrielle despair over not having a daughter so often that her brother begins to offer up his service (is he just cruel or being serious?) ?

ive been dying to talk about them thank you anon . this is specifically for gerold ... i tried to combine the whole sibling triangle here but it got too complicated and fried my brain.... sorry . gerold lannister is also my favourite bus driver so im kind of giddy getting to talk about the version of him ive crafted in my brain

it's a little bit funny because he doesn't actually get very involved in her life for a long time. she's way more attached to tybolt, but he's also sort of chained to casterly rock by virtue of being heir - whereas gerold can come and go. i like to imagine he comes to court after their dad dies (in 210 ac) and sticks around specifically for her, which is in part because it's also while aerion is off in lys so she's very very lonely at court . and tired of listening to daeron talk about his weird ass dreams i guess

they're very ... weird ... myrielle obv has her stuff going on but gerold is also, to me, a bit of a strange figure .. i firmly believe the rumors that he was the one who ended up killing tybolt and cerelle and the vibes are just constantly a little off . while she loves him as her brother i think he makes her uncomfortable . almost larys alicent esque in that they would sit around and speak in riddles while staring at each other weirdly and every time she sees him in the hallway she wants to turn and walk the other way . she knows he would never hurt her but she doesn't know whether it's because he cares for her or because there's no incentive to do so

and then that line sort of gets crossed through the effects living in king's landing with a husband that wishes she was his sister would have on someone over the years . it becomes more difficult for her to blur the lines of what she feels, she begins to assign this underlying sexual intent to each of her relationships because that's what the people she's surrounded by do and it's kind of how she can give herself some self worth. i think she confides in gerold a lot and then she doesn't think she can leave it at just that. almost punishing herself in a sense. she goes into her relationship with daeron thinking she'll feel more in control of any aspect of her life and it doesn't work and then she does it again with gerold except this time she knows it won't work. i don't think it's like directly sexual though unlike with daeron . maybe once . after aerion dies or something when she's at her lowest but for the most part its probably just again that tension that she encourages and being just a little too physical in a way that becomes inappropriate. comes in and sleeps in her bed or something idk.......

her despairing over not having a daughter a little too often made me laugh a little. he's so kind <3 i don't think he would but he can sit and drool a little over the thought by his lonesome

[melthebusybee]

Pressure would give such a cool movie!!

Just imagine, a group of 5-7 prisoners are sent to the mission of getting the crystal (to clean up their names and receive the amount of cash as well). They think it will be a normal quest until all those monsters start attacking them.

The group could have some moments where they're bonding or just goofing around, so the movie can get more "funny" or "relaxed" parts to break the tension of the situation they are in.

They meet Sebastian as well and there's like a whole scene showing us Seb's backstory and how he became what he is now (i would love to see that no jokes)

And then, the group members start dying one by one because of the monsters (a group member dies so others can understand how a monster behaves — for example, someone dies looking at Eyefestation and the others know that they can't stare at her).

After that, 2 or 3 members are still alive and they can get the crystal, but of course, nothing has a happy ending so the others die as well and then there's only one left.

By the end we could see the protagonist getting paid and sent to an airport. They're traumatized by what happened but they can't talk to anyone about it because no one would belive them!!

Idk im crazy