#they're often smart enough to know that *other* people believe in right and wrong

[not-poignant]

Would you be willing to talk about the idea of 'psychopaths in real life'? I know you've written them but because there's so much messy pop culture around the idea of a psychopath I've never been sure of what about the idea of them is real. Are some people simply born wanting to hurt people? Or is it the result of early major trauma, or innate? I've met a lot of very cruel people but I think I'd say they probably weren't like that with select groups of people (their friends or family) rather than people they viewed as targets/unimportant/sinners/etc... Probably? I suppose I think of them more as emotionally sadistic than as fundamentally incapable of empathy. But maybe I just haven't met the right people, or known them well enough. Just an invitation to share your thoughts on the subject, if you're willing.

Are some people simply born wanting to hurt people? Or is it the result of early major trauma, or innate?

If you had an answer to this, anon, you'd have an answer to one of the greatest mysteries of psychology and sociology. The truth is, we just don't know for sure. There's a lot of good evidence on both sides, depending on who you're studying, which strongly suggests that sometimes it might be the first, sometimes it might be the second, and sometimes it's both.

But the reality is we don't know.

Scientists really, really want to find ways of detecting folks like this before some of them turn to extremely violent or cruel crimes, so obviously finding out the causative genetic and/or social factors is extremely important to them. It would save a lot of money re: governments for a start, so this is an area that's had bursts of funding over the years. But the reality is we're not really a great deal closer to figuring it out.

We do know that some folks genuinely seem to have had no social causative factors, and others folks genuinely seem to have been shaped by their upbringing. If you want to go into this there are hundreds of books and articles on the subject, and you'll very quickly see that no one is in agreement and we still have no solid early detection systems.

I've met a lot of very cruel people but I think I'd say they probably weren't like that with select groups of people (their friends or family) rather than people they viewed as targets/unimportant/sinners/etc… Probably?

The fact is, unless you were with them 24/7 you don't know how they were behaving with friends and family. In fact, this is how certain priests and cops get away with so much of what they do. There are priests who have been kind and compassionate to entire congregations and then gone on to rape 30/40 children in cruel ways that have led to many suicides, who feel zero shame or remorse and who very obviously just wanted access to children in a job that would give them community trust without having to earn it. That kindness and compassion is a performance to secure what you want.

Secondly, perhaps they were good with friends and family, so was Gacy. Many folks like this understand that they need to strategically set up networks of people who believe you to be kind etc. Being a psychopath doesn't mean you're stupid (although some are, varying intelligence levels exist), often these folks understand that to get away with doing what they truly want to do, there needs to be a cloak of 'I'm fine and normal and nice' around them. The ones who don't understand this tend to go to jail very quickly (or die very quickly due to the circumstances around their behaviours - being a psychopath is not a safe thing to be if you can't pair it with an ability to be selective).

But maybe I just haven't met the right people, or known them well enough.

I'm not going to talk about specific details of my past but I will say it's likely that you just haven't met someone on this level and/or have but are just not in their target zone because they might just be in the periphery of your experience.

Folks like Crielle exist in the world, for example, and sadly it's often more people than you'd expect. But some of those people are also incredibly intelligent and manipulative. They often operate on a level different to most of us.

[loadednachosao3]

i really want to start writing fanfic but im not good with words, do you mayhaps have some advice? please lacho lord pretty please😭

answering this while I'm a little zonked outta my gourd since it's thunderstorming and that's setting off my chronic illness, but never fear LN is here

if you worry you're not good with words, my biggest tips would be...

the age-old "show, don't tell!" now, sometimes telling is just fine, if it makes the writing read smoother. there's nothing wrong with occasional cliches or saying "he's really fucking sad" when the moment calls for it. but, say you wanna really make sure we know he's sad. you can write, "his lower lip trembled, and he bit it to make it stop. as tears stung at his eyes, he looked up at his lifelong friend and felt a heaviness on his heart that he feared would never lighten." or something!

this does NOT extend to using epithets (epithets being things like "the blonde," "the veteran," "the blue-eyed woman," etc.). please try to use those as sparingly as possible. I know sometimes it seems like you NEED to because pronouns get confusing, but I PROMISE you, if you write a certain way, your readers will be smart enough to figure out who you mean -- even in a same-sex scene! take for example: "Nacho looked at Lalo, and he seemed sad. Why, he wondered? Because he'd turned him down?" on its own, you may be like, "which he turned him down? who's wondering?" but if you've already written Nacho turning Lalo down in a previous scene, and used the tips above to convey sadness from Lalo in the previous paragraph, and have been writing this whole time from third-person limited POV, obviously you don't need to go, "Why, Nacho wondered? Because Nacho had turned the chipper don down?" clunky!!!

speaking of "third-person limited!" learn about what perspectives are used in writing. pick one. stick to it for the duration of your story. so, if you're doing third-person limited, you can write, "Nacho wondered why Lalo was acting so strange. He didn't understand what was going through the guy's head." but third-person limited is LIMITED to what Nacho knows, more or less, so you could not then say in the next (or worse, same) paragraph: "Lalo was sulking because he couldn't believe Nacho had the audacity to treat him like that. He loved him, couldn't he tell? Lalo was so upset he could cry." if you want to explore what's in both of their heads, use third-person omniscient instead (which I personally have a lot of trouble getting right, because it can be hard to keep a consistent narrative going if you can bounce between multiple people's heads -- try alternating third-person limited POVs between chapters as a good in-between! so one chapter from Nacho's, the next from Lalo's, the next from Nacho's, etc.). first-person (I did this, I did that) is often not well-received in fandom, but can work. second-person (you did this, you did that) works best for quirkier things (see: Homestuck, my first lacho game) or x reader stories.

try to avoid too much word repetition unless it's intentional/thematic. see the difference between these passages: "He wanted to make Lalo want him, but he didn't want him to hate him. As he stared out the window at the rain pattering on the window's surface, he wondered if he'd drown in the rain if he couldn't make up his mind soon." OR "He wanted Lalo to want him. But, as he stared longingly out the window at the rain, he couldn't help but wonder if his plan would make Lalo's warm feelings turn to hatred instead. Water dripped down the glass, and he knew he needed to make up his mind." there, we take away the repetition of the words want, rain, and window, in some cases replacing them with synonyms (water, glass). we also use "wanted Lalo to want him" as a minor bit of thematic/stylistic repetition. now, there is NOTHING wrong with using similar words adjacent to each other, particularly if they're very common! and you don't need to bust out the thesaurus to tell us Nacho desires Lalo as he observes the H2O running down the aperture or some overly-complex shit like that. but when you repeat the same words too much too close together, it becomes very noticeable, and will take your reader out of the story.

these are the biggest things I see people doing poorly that will make me less likely to read a fic. but honestly, I (and many other people) will put up with a lot of fumbles for a good story! so don't be too hard on yourself. I'm sure you've got some great ideas to put into the world!

remember: at the end of the day, we're all nerds doing this for FUN and for FREE as a HOBBY. don't judge yourself by professional writing standards! everyone here just wants to have fun! and if someone is mean to you about your fic, that says more about their sad little life than your work.

have fun writing!

[loveyourlovelysoul]

The impostor syndrome. Everyone of us, or almost, has been there.

We feel undeserving; inferior to others; not smart enough; we minimize our speech, knowledge and abilities; we feel uncomfortable when we get compliments; we set unattainable self-imposed standards of achievement and try to be perfect. All this can be also caused by having had overprotective caregivers, being/feeling different (racial identity or even just clothes/style), anxiety, depression, emotionally unstable household in our upbringing (having us develop low self esteem, prefectionism, self monitoring).

All in all, we feel guilty cause we had (or not) the chance to get an higher education, we are having it better than our friends (or anyone really), we're not meeting/living up to our family expectations (they may refer to us with names as the smart one, the talented one, the responsible one... making us feel pressured). It all often only takes us to having anxiety and feeling frustrated for not seeing results. But it's our guilt blocking us and sabotaging us, making us feel like we're a fraud.

Even if we succeeded, we may feel it has been out of luck (no matter if we stayed up for nights and worked ourselves off): in our mind others (would) have done a better job cause our was actually terrible (we don't trust others' judgment on us/our work: lacking our internal self confidence and validation, we don't believe others' words, we think they're just being nice with us, which is not really the case). This way, our anxiety, insecurities, fear of failing and being judged/left out, and feelings of being discovered as a fraud keep coming in.

This is actually not true: we're just not being objective about all we are, all we do and know, all that we can still learn to do, all of our efforts and past successes. It ofc can be, as said, because of the way we were raised (not feeling worthy, always feeling like we were doing the wrong thing, needing to constantly prove your self worth to get praised, being surrounded by liars, unsafe and/or overprotective household...). But we need to try and see things from another perspective too: which is we are worthy and we deserve to at least try to get what we want. It seems that working on the impostor syndrome with other people, can be of help: we are all in the same situation, and being open about our fears and feelings can be kinda healing to all the ones involved. What is useful is also learning the habit to remove self doubt before any important event or before trying anything we want to: think about what can go right instead of wrong.

[verifiedaccount]

As I was getting wheeled in to be put under for a GI procedure today, overheard the docs and technicians talking about the election. The GI doc was a "I'm not saying I love Trump, I just think he's a good man that does good things, and his only mistake is having twitter. If he did something wrong, the impeachments would've been successful or the federal courts would've convicted him." The mixed-race group of anesthesiologists and techs seemed open to this, and to the GI doc's contention that Biden, who initially seemed reasonable, had let the far left take him over, was going further than Obama, and, "now I don't know enough about this to say anything one way or the other for sure, but I've seen people say that Obama is pulling the strings." He mentioned that he gets his news from sites that have it "unfiltered."

This in itself wasn't shocking, really. Having grown up with doctor parents, spent time around them and their colleagues, and worked in a hospital for a few years making in the supply department making rounds and catching convos, I don't have a great estimation of the intelligence or reasoning of doctors on any subjects non-medical. Not that a medical education is easy, but it's also not as much based around great reasoning skills or critical thinking. The tough parts have more to do with memorization and grueling hours; they learn to read and interpret symptoms and signs to narrow things down the right diagnosis, often by process of elimination (as this GI procedure was for, primarily ruling stuff out), and then they consult texts or specialists for the set of steps to take based on the diagnosis. A surgeon has to be able to remember exactly what to do, have the hand-eye coordination and nerves to do it properly, and the ability to think quickly the times when something unexpected happens, which again, is a specific skill not necessarily correlated to general learning. It is a trade more similar to being a mechanic or tech support person than not, just with higher stakes and a more complicated and variable system to work to interpret, all of which take a kind of focus and intelligence that doesn't necessarily translate to other subjects. Combine that with long hours that don't leave a lot of time, energy, or motivation to keep up with non-work related stuff, and you have what can be a pretty ill-informed group of people who nevertheless believe they're really smart, in part because other people tend to assume they're smart.

The part that threw me off is I thought that even Trump supporters, outside of the hardcore cultists who see him as a literal savior, weren't under the illusion that he was a good guy, they just believed he'd be effective at accomplishing what they wanted. He'd get things done, however he got them done (no need to look closely or ask questions as long as things are taken care of), and they'd get a piece of the action. I mean, he's a guy that has bragged repeatedly, on the record, about doing crimes and having mafia connections, he's openly and proudly crooked, he's personally unpleasant and bad at pretending to give a shit about anyone that can't do something for him right this second. And, christ, a guy in his 50s with that kind of straightforward faith in the court system and judges. It's funny, though, I was arguing with my dad that Biden's overtures to Republicans were a stupid wasted because he's against a party with a sizeable number of people who think he and his party literally sacrifice children for their glands, and the ones that don't actually believe it are willing to indulge the ones that do, so he should have ignored them and just focused on things people like, because his opponents would never concede anything to him, they're even accusing him of not being in the tank enough for Israel, for chrissakes. So it was validating in a sense to hear that someone considering themself a Trump-curious moderate considers Biden irredeemably corrupted by the loony left, although based on the fact that he goes places for "unfiltered" news that paints a positive portrait of Trump as an honorable, sensible, moderate Republican and Biden as an extreme leftist, I doubt the GI doc is as moderate as he presents himself. Or he thinks the Epoch Times is non-partisan.

I was reminded of working in a hospital in 2016, after the "pussy tape" came out, and overhearing one of the docs in the ICU, a blonde woman in her 30s, fully buying into and defending the "locker room talk" excuse to the puzzled male docs, who'd figured this would be the end of her support for him. That was jarring, but did fit more with the "he's no choirboy, but I think he'll get things done" mindset that I assumed to be the default position of people who vote/voted for Trump without fully buying into the Trump loyalist ethos.

Well, at least my GI issues are on the way to getting treated.

[heliads]

I was just thinking of sort of a father-child dynamic? Like, he finds the gender-neutral Reader because they're a suspect in one of his murder cases (not the Thrombey case from the movie), and realizes that they're super smart and would make an amazing detective, but he finds out they don't have a home and decides to make them his ward-slash-apprentice? I dunno if you'd actually want to write that, but it's an idea I've had for a while and God knows your writing is ten times better than mine. 😅

i have an obsession with knives out

masterlist / part two

Benoit Blanc does not know how this is going to go down. He has his inklings, of course, a few thoughts and ideas scattered here and there like forgotten Easter Eggs the day after a hunt, but nothing certain yet. His brightly colored plastic pieces of leads have yet to guide him to anything truly worthwhile. 

That’s his favorite part of the entire process, if Benoit were feeling glib enough to put a name to it. Usually, he at least pretends to be somewhat unbiased. Too many investigators these days are in it for the money or fame. Not him, he claims. Of course, it’s not entirely certain that anyone will believe him, but the fact remains. 

No, if Benoit were in this line of work for anything, he’d have to say that it would be for the story. You can’t make this sort of stuff up anywhere, not in the most fantastic thrillers. No trade paperback could even dare to dream up the stories Benoit has seen. You could shell out a million bucks on dime a dozen fictions and still not even scratch the surface of all that Benoit has discovered by way of odd jobs and borrowed reports. 

That isn’t to say that Benoit is against the novel, of course. They certainly have their role in his life, sure as any other person or thing that happens to stumble into his path. Sometimes he thinks that he might have a little fun writing up a book or two based on his own experiences. Most of it would be classified, of course, but certainly he could ad lib enough to hook in a reader or two. 

This isn’t the point, of course. Perhaps that’s as good a sign as any that Benoit’s attempts at literary handicrafts would end in less than mediocre sales. His habits of running headlong from one tangent to the next, often barely connected in topic at all, could scare away even the most fervent readers. He’s had deputies tell him that much more than a few times, and even those less comfortable with chastising their coworkers settle for some raised eyebrows when the moment suits them best. 

Ah, so well then. No novels for him. Not even a particularly lengthy memo if he’s in the mood for sparing the nearest police department from his musings. In the end, though, Benoit doesn’t necessarily need an audience, although he can’t deny that a good reception certainly lends itself to a good time whenever he can get a hold of one. 

For example, right now he’s got a case that’s shaping up nicely in terms of a final deliverance of a verdict. Benoit isn’t judge, jury, and executioner, of course, no matter what dots he connects the end decision will be made by someone other than him, but that doesn’t seem to stop everyone tied to a given case from flocking around him like his word is gold. 

One of these multitudes in particular has been catching his eye for a while. Among the usual number of jilted in-laws and disgruntled passersby who’ve all been corralled into the scene of his latest crime, Benoit cannot help but notice someone who’s been standing on the outskirts of it all. This case is as far from insipid as any other, people cannot help but get themselves involved. Still, one witness seems immune to the waves of melodrama and perilous lies that seem to catch at the sleeves of everyone else here.

He has a problem with being interested in the wrong details. Technically, Benoit should be more invested in the fact that he is here to investigate the death of a wealthy family matriarch, not some kid on the fringe of the whole ordeal, yet the roles are flipped regardless in his head. 

Besides, it’s not like anyone truly needs to worry. Benoit is already twenty percent sure that the killer was the gardener, there were muddy footprints out in the mansion gazebo that look eerily similar to work boots. The mother of a prestigious family had ended up dead one night, drowned in an over chlorinated pool that removed all traces of DNA for the police to investigate. Although the gardener claimed to have been off work that day and thus unable to commit the crime, the prints exist nonetheless. 

Also, it makes no sense for the newly hired gardener to be so committed to his craft that they would be given the keys to the house within a day of submitting an application, yet have not a single callus on their hands. Benoit suspects the gardener to be a plant, likely at the wishes of a disgruntled uncle. Motives are still unclear as of yet, but he has a feeling that explanations will come up if he just pulls at the right string.

In the meantime, as Benoit waits for the house of cards that’s been so precariously built to come tumbling down at last, he peruses the finer details in the whole fiasco. There’s a kid mixed up in all of this, a neighbor down the block who refuses to supply the police with an address or phone number to call. They’re caught up in all of this because they spent time with the murdered matriarch almost on a daily basis. Reports have come in from multiple members of the family of always seeing the kid there whenever they went to visit the mansion.

It’s got Benoit confused, to say the least. He’s seen nurses frequenting the houses of lonely millionaires before, or greedy grandchildren hoping to score a few extra points by hanging around their soon-to-die relatives, but this is something different. There’s no blood connection between this kid and the victim, and so far as he can tell, they weren’t getting any money, either. No job, no expectations, just a home lent out like a library book, free of charge.

It makes no sense. All actions must have an explanation, yet he’s still waiting on this one. The kid is frustratingly hard to track down as well, and Benoit is forced to go about his days simply hoping that they’ll show up and he’ll have enough time to question them before his attention is pulled in another direction.

He gets his chance soon enough. The kid drops by in the morning out of necessity, and although they don’t seem like they’re going to be staying too long, Benoit still manages to snag them before they slip away.

“I’m going to take a lap around the grounds of the house,” he says as casually as he can, “I hear you’re here frequently, I wouldn’t mind a guide. If you’re willing, of course. I would hate to intrude on your personal time.”

The kid– Y/N L/N, he remembers reading in a brief police report that didn’t have much other information– stares at him for a moment, then nods at last. “Sure. I don’t have much else to do anyway.”

Sensing an opening, or perhaps an intentional lack thereof, Benoit presses on as they turn towards the gardens. “What do you mean? I would have thought that somebody your age would be in school. I know you’re required to be here for the proceedings of the investigation, but surely you would have to get to class at some point.”

Y/N shrugs their shoulders. “I mean, yeah, but school doesn’t start for another hour or so. Beside, I figure a murder mystery is somewhat more interesting than high school, yeah?”

Benoit chuckles. “I can’t say I disagree. That being said, you could be involved in more such mysteries if you finished your education. You have to give yourself all the tools possible if you wish to use them, you know? No good comes in building a house if you’ve only got a hammer and nails. It takes much more than that to make something worthwhile.”

Y/N gives him a sideways look. “Is this your way of saying that I’ve got a screw loose for thinking about skipping world history?”

Benoit snorts. “That would be something. Ha! Not intentional, I guarantee you. I have long since learned that it is best to avoid alienating potential suspects.”

Y/N folds their arms across their chest. “You think I did it, then? Am I a primary suspect?”

“Not in the slightest,” he chuckles, “If you did, you’d be a little more alarmed about me singling you out rather than just being afraid that I’d catch you for not having anywhere else to go after this.”

When Y/N’s steps freeze, Benoit knows his shot in the dark has landed, bulls eye and all.

He continues, sensing an advantage. “That is correct, is it not? The deceased gave you a key to her house because it was the best place for you to be when you weren’t at school. She never knew the full depth of it, of course, but she didn’t ask questions. That’s why you stayed.”

“That, and the conversation,” Y/N says through a forced grin. They sigh and give in at last. “Yes, it’s true. Mrs. Gillespie was kind to me. Kinder than I deserved. She didn’t know everything but she knew enough. Once she made it clear that I wasn’t intruding on her hospitality by coming over all the time, it became a habit.”

“And what are you going to do now that staying at the Gillespie residence is no longer an option?” Benoit asks carefully.

When Y/N is silent, he gets the feeling that he knows the answer. Through some situation or another, there is no secondary location lined up. That’s why Y/N has been coming to the crime scene alongside the other members of the family even though it’s clear that they’re not a real suspect. They simply have no other place to go.

It’s clear that the kid is uncomfortable, so Benoit switches the topic towards a discussion of the grounds. Evidently glad for safer subjects, Y/N loses a bit of their guarded edge, and soon enough begins to rattle off details of the mansion and its surrounding land that Benoit didn’t even know after in depth Googling. It is obvious that they have spent a good bit of time wandering the area, especially in the company of the late matriarch.

It is useful information, but Benoit can’t help turning his focus back to what had been said in the very beginning. Even after the case turns its last pages and settles into the storage of his memory, Benoit doesn’t think that he’ll be able to let this one go so easily. Once the handcuffs are snapped onto the wrists of the murderer, there’s still one soul mixed up in this that won’t have such a happy ending. Sometimes justice isn’t just catching killers, it’s making sure that those who are hurt by a crime receive what they deserve. That includes Y/N.

He isn’t sure how they’ll take it when he makes his offer. Benoit pulls Y/N aside on the final day of the investigation. Everyone is just there on protocol to wrap things up, but he needs to talk to them more than anyone else.

“Listen,” he says in the shadow of a quiet room, “I was thinking about what you said earlier. Our conversation on the grounds, that is.”

Judging by the shift in Y/N’s expression, they know exactly what he’s talking about. “What do you mean?”

“I’d like to extend a similar invitation as Mrs. Gillespie,” Benoit explains, “A ward of sorts, I think it could be best summed up.”

Y/N shakes their head quickly. “I don’t want your pity.”

“This isn’t pity,” Benoit promises, “I’ve been watching you just as closely as our red herrings and killers, you know. I’m fairly sure that you figured out this whole case even before I did. Instincts like yours don’t come around all that often. Maybe you won’t be interested in my sort of murder mysteries in five years, or even two, but I’d like your insights while you’re still invested.”

Y/N stays silent for a moment, and just when he’s starting to think that the whole thing will be for naught, they dare to speak again. “You’re sure?”

“Positive,” Benoit declares, and at last a slow smile breaks across Y/N’s face.

“Alright, then,” they say, “I think I’d like that a lot. You know, I never thought much about actually becoming a detective. Usually my investigative exploits were limited to books, you know? Encyclopedia Brown and all that.”

“Let’s make it real, then,” Benoit offers, “I happen to know a few cases in need of solving over the next few months.”

He solemnly extends a hand, and after a second, Y/N shakes it, their face just as serene. They break eventually, twin smiles crashing through even the most severe of expressions. Just like that, Benoit has a feeling that his investigations are going to be all the better. Sometimes all it takes is a fresh pair of eyes on a case that’s haunted you for a while. The problems to come his way, the challenges to be set before him, they will still be just as difficult as before, if not more so. It’s a good thing, though, that he’s got an apprentice by his side to help him sort things out.

Yes, he has a feeling that they’re going to do just fine.

requested by @starlit-epiphany, i hope you enjoy!

knives out tag list: empty for now!

[griefabyss69]

directors commentary on acceptance and negation pls!

this dynamic is super hard to find in fics and you did it sooo well while keeping them in character!

Thank you so much!! Making the characters believable is like my #1 goal most of the time and this one was very heavy on situations that we definitely don't see in canon LMAO

Okay first of all - same! The "lost bet / rivals / begrudgingly super into this" dynamic is one of my favorite things to read and I also find it hard to find written properly. There's a needle to thread there for sure, and people often go too far one way or another (for MY tastes, this isn't a moral judgement).

Rivals to lovers is like catnip to me when done well - two people who are at odds with each other but obsessed enough to not just ignore each other, instead they perhaps concoct a little bet that ends with one of them cumming in their jeans, or something :' )

I think Steve and Eddie have a GREAT canon set up for this dynamic, and I know I've read it before and found it satisfying, though that dynamic resolved before they got to the sex. Even if you do a post-S4 Eddie lives, there's still plenty of rival potential!

So in this fic in particular, I had the theme (forniphilia) and a little tiny summary of an idea (I have them for my whole philia series, which is NOT how I usually write), and so I didn't just open a blank document and then get possessed for 7 hours and have this out of nowhere.

Usually I get a vibe/sliver of an idea/a sentence or a theme, and then I start writing and usually it flows in a satisfying enough way that I don't mind when it doesn't go how I initially thought it would, that's typical for me and how I do anything really. But I had to keep this on the rails!

Luckily those rails were for a train that's been living in me for longer than I've been writing for ST. When I started the paraphilia series the fics were all supposed to be short - it was mostly for a writing exercise type of thing, warm ups, etc. Buuuuut this one was written in two sessions, edited in another two, and turned out to be like 18K.

I don't use a word program that has a word counter, because that's distracting to me (my editing is done in one though, it lags too much for my typing speed anyway, I have an old laptop, but this set up works well enough for now), so sometimes I'll check on the wordcount. I remember checking this one at around 3K like 'alright! Better wrap it up!'.

Yeah.

I had a lot of fucking fun with this one, walking the tight rope of "okay they're horny as hell and this is getting unrealistic, but I'll keep the emotional/social thread of it properly done". And I imagine between two kinky ass people this kind of situation IS realistic, even when they're rivals!

This was honestly a really fun character exploration of a different kind of Steve than I usually write - a lot of my writing is an Eddie POV to begin with, but then either it's Steve being series or Steve being horny, not this. I think it's more well rounded, and usually I don't have him pushing his limits like this - in my head that's more of an Eddie thing to do, he's a bit of a thrill seeker - but in a situation where he has something bigger than just following what he wants to do, that's a good moment to discover some new shit about himself. Growth happens in a lot of ways, sometimes it's when you have to get on your hands and knees to your rival can use you as a footstool, you know how it is!

Steve's experience was a fun balance, including his struggle to keep from just giving into the easier feeling of believing Eddie's being kind when he has no real evidence of that - he's being smart tbh, whether he's right or wrong. Not letting himself fully sink into the experience even though it was so tempting, like a warm bath after a cold day. Getting a little sucked into the fuzzy space anyway, enjoying it despite everything. Lots for him to think about!!!

Another thing to balance was Eddie, how mean he was going to be, any potential consent issues - it's one thing to order a person around, another thing to bring sex into it - usually with this kind of limit pushing there's trust involved, talking beforehand, etc. But this wasn't like that, there had to be a progression that was really based on like, a few failsafes and trusting each other to not go too far. Then Eddie taking care of him while still ordering him around - that was obvious on purpose, both to the reader and to Steve - because otherwise Steve would've just left and while Eddie loves that he got to torment him and edge him and then watched him ruin his own orgasm by accident, that level of intensity can't just stop without a soft place to land.

I gotta say. The reception to this one definitely surprised me, I don't think I've had people asking for a sequel more than with this one - I gotta stick to my rule with it though, this was a one shot. I simply have one hundred million WIPs (around 50 now that I WANT to finish, and like 100 more ideas I hope to write… as unrealistic as that is). People have been SO nice and supportive in the comments on this one, both on the fic and then either in my inbox or DMs on here!

That doesn't mean I'm not exploring Steve and forniphilia in other fics though, I have a WIP that doesn't have the rival to lovers dynamic, it focuses more on the kink itself. Before writing Acceptance and Negation I knew I was kind of interested in exploring it, but knowing I have an interest and getting around to it are two different things, but writing this really helped me start with that!

But I do really hope to figure out this dynamic in another situation, maybe another paraphilia fic because rivals and kinky shit goes REALLY well together in terms of kicking up the tension. (In fact, Waves - the saliromania / spit fic - was going to be rivals, but I actually had that one started as it's own thing before I realized I liked it much better than the little summary I had for that kink. No regrets there, but there's plenty of room in my ideas for more rivalry!!!)

Okay this is long as HELL so I'm going to end it here before I start writing another thousand words!! Thank you again anon <3

[foxtricksterwriting]

My Yandere MCs and OCs; Dakota

Part 1(Dakota) |

Author's Note: I'll add parts for anyone interested in my other ocs and mcs as I do them. Also, I'm using picrew cause I can't draw to save my life

If you are not +18, DO NOT INTERACT!!

This is my OC made specifically for Krow(@thekrows-nest) imsorryinadvancelol

FullLegal Name; ???? Evans(Surname's a WIP)

Nickname; Dakota ("Any other name is a dead name :)")

Gender(Pronouns); Nonbinary(They/them)

Age; 27 ("Ahah, you thought I was a lot younger? I get that a lot.")

Height; 6'5

Occupation; Bar owner, bartender ("Oh, the name of my bar? Delilah's. Why? My grandfather opened it after my grandmother passed away and named it after her. So, family business and all that.")

More About Them; A thembo to the truest extent. Don't get me wrong, they can be smart when it relates to their interests. If it's not related? They don't care enough to try to learn it. Dakota's the first person to offer their help in any situation, and tends not to question the weird things that happen around them. They also tend to give people... too many chances to right their wrongs. Dakota believes that everybody deserves a chance to prove themselves, and tries to stick up for who they perceive as the underdog. Many of their friends have described them as 'the epitome of a golden retriever' and that's really not far off.

Dakota falls in love easily, and hard. They're extremely lucky to have not ended up in a bad relationship. They tend to take the advice and opinions of their friends very seriously, even if it's not good or healthy... They have a surprisingly small inner circle; made up of four people. Dakota has set their opinions on a very, very high pedestal; high enough to surpass some laws. Luckily for Dakota, these four people are decent people and try to steer them away from others looking to take advantage of Dakota's trusting nature.

Dakota has a abundance of confidence and is very blunt. They always speak their mind, even if it means they'd get hurt because of it. If they like you, you'll know. If they dislike you, you'll know that too.

And finally, Dakota has surprisingly good business and bartending skills. This is due to their family's bar being left to them. They've owned said bar, Delilah's, since they were 21. They took to the business like a fish to water. They're proud enough of their bar to brag about it at least once when they meet someone new. Their insistent endorsements of the bar has become a joke in their friend group.

Fun Facts;

Will happily sit and listen to someone ramble for hours and hours at a time. They ask leading questions, too, to get them to talk more. If they're talking to someone important/someone they care about, they'll write everything down so they'll actually remember it.

Knows how to pick most locks. Don't ask how, they won't tell you.

Green is not their favorite color, surprisingly. Their favorite color is black.

Has said "Think twice? Bestie, I don't even think once, lol" before. That's also a running joke in their friend group.

Is a human garbage disposal. They have pica, which means they often try to eat non-food items. Usually, it won't cause them any issues. They've eaten corks from wine bottles and a couple of beer bottle tops before and ended up just fine. They've also eaten marbles before. If they can't keep something down, then no living creature should eat whatever they tried to eat.

Doesn't remember anything from before their 9th birthday. They don't seemed worried about it, either....

gets cold very easily, and their hands and feet tend to stay cold. Warm gloves and socks don't help, that just makes them sweaty :/

HATES socks. The only time they willing wear socks is when they plan on wearing their boots for a long while (ie +5 hours)

Has no shame AND has a hard time reading a room. Can and will ask their friends and loved ones embarrassing things, incredibly seriously, at terrible times. The same applies to intimacy and sex, too.

Is a lightweight and a very emotional drunk. It's pretty easy for them to get black-out drunk and it's for that exact reason they don't drink.

Before meeting Krow, Dakota had never felt any kind of sexual attraction or even arousal. Now that they have, they are completely insatiable.

On that note, one of their kinks is marathon sex~

"Oh, hey!! You're here!! Oh, this is great! You wanna go get something to eat??? ....Okay, let's go shopping instead! Time spent with you is time spent well, bestie!"

[husbandomail-archive]

Hi there, Jojo! I'm the previous anon's friend who asked about the matchups and I would like to humbly ask you for a matchup please? Thank you!

Gender: Female (afab), she/her/hers

Series: Bakugan, Jojo (any parts , just no villains please EXCEPT FOR La Squadra) and Digimon!

Match-Up Preferrence: I'm actualily biromantic asexual and I like both but I usually lean more on towards guys!

Personality:

Oh boy,,,, I don't honestly know how to start this one but my personality depends on the people I'm usually around with but so far my sister has described my personality can be 'extreme, that has no in between' like I can be extremely nice but also can be extremely mean but I have more to me than meets the eye actually! Here are some of my traits listed down (I would describe this the way most people would describe it like the ones we see on character profiles but anyways)

For the positive ones I have:

-smart

-introspective

-looks out for others

-kind

-creative

-funny

-ambitious

-determined

-charming

-brings positive energy to conversations

-seems to speak with gentle words

-willing to change

-sticks to personal opinions but is happy to learn from a mistake (if spoken to nicely and not yelled at)

-empathetic

-loyal

-will do anything for their loved ones

-humble

-stands up for what's right and will fight someone for you (not in a literal way but it still counts) and will not hesitate to defend them or call the person out on their bs

-curious

-is the designated 'chaotic wine aunt/gremlin/ mom friend'

-brave

-understanding and very wise

Negative ones:

-spends a lot of time in my head than being down to earth

-gives out advices to other people but never follows them

-always has to prove people wrong

-sarcastic at times

-cynical

-procrastinates

-has to rely on other people's opinions to see who I really am because I dont know who I am at certain days

-sharp-tongued

-tends to forget about other people and or forgets to do certain things but always says 'I'll do it later' (its bc of my adhd)

-people always assume that I have low EQ

-often, if not, commonly perceived as grumpy and always angry

-stubborn but not reckless

-is either cautious or too trusting of people at times to the point it just becomes a mess

-introverted

-sometimes would prefer the easy way out than the hard road taken

-seen as scatter-brained

-pretends everything is okay when clearly, it's not

-doesnt want to be seen or perceived as weak

-too independent and believes that I can do everything by myself when in reality I just don't like asking people for help because I think I'm a bother to them

-has the mindset that no one will love me for me

-likes love but is afraid to be with someone to avoid getting hurt or hurting someone

Passions, Hobbies and Goals:

-Well as of now, my main goal is to finish up college and become successful and be rich eventually but also I'd also love to like, if ever I got to like have enough money, be able to donate it to organisations that need it and whatnot and I'm a huge supporter and advocate for animal welfare, rights for minorities, women's rights and everything in between as long as they're honest and provide receipts.

Though I dont exactly like do work like they do, for example, field work, I just want to help out in any way I can and the best thing I could do is to spread awareness and talk about these kinds of issues whenever I can (and once I have like sufficient knowledge about the topic itself)

As for my hobbies, I got lots of them to the point my grandma says I'm the jack of all trades but the master of none. Most of them are artistic exploitations such as drawing, listening to music (or playing music since I have like instruments of my own), writing, crafting, cooking and reading, I also like learning about the occult and I usually dabble with divination and astrology and I collect stuff like funko pops and books but I'm usually seen on my phone and being on social media where I shitpost memes to my friends and talking to them or I'm playing games like Stardew Valley!

I think that's about it! Thank you, Jojo! Hope you have a great day/night/afternoon! 💕💕💕😘😘😘🌸🌸🌸✨✨✨

I apologize for taking so long, please thank your friend for her patience with me!

I’d pair you with Gus Grav!

I’ll admit, getting to know each other would be rough at first— it’s very difficult to get past his emotional walls, and the way you’re always running at full throttle in any direction might be a bit much for him until you both know each other better. That being said, he manages to work alongside someone like Shadow Prove, so you’ve got a good shot at working your way into his life.

Once the two of you properly get to know each other, Gus quietly admits to himself that he prefers your company over some of his coworkers; even some of the traits you call negative appeal to him. You’re both introverted, meaning you know when he needs to be left alone; you might think being sharp-tongued is a negative, but he thinks it’s amusing when you whittle Lync’s ego down to size. He also appreciates your general introspective nature— he’s spent far too long with a group of impulsive idiots, so it’s refreshing to have someone who can sit back and strategize together.

We know Gus is interested in humanity, so he’d find your hobbies really interesting no matter what; yeah sure, the vestals have music and art, but there’s just something different when you’re the one doing it. He’d love to watch you sketch and paint, or sit quietly and listen to you practicing instruments whether you’re good or bad with them. He’ll also listen intently whenever you discuss astrology— he might not believe in it himself, but Earth has constellations far different from the ones he’d grown up with, and he’s curious about what you believe in them.

Gus really is willing to work around a lot of things for the people he loves. Once you’re in his life, he’s much more patient than he would’ve been otherwise; he’s observant enough to notice when you’re quietly slipping back into yourself and away from the world around you. Gus is also introspective and keeps to himself, so he’s willing to make a deal on that front— he’ll be open about everything with you, but only if you do the same in turn. It’s difficult to be vulnerable, especially when you’re so used to being isolated and alone, but the two of you can grow past that together.

[2-lines-and-a-circle]

I loved my last matchup idk if i can send in another request after i participated in your other event but feel free to ignore this request if i can't. Can i get a platonic Warning letter?

I'm Female, she/her pronouns. Don't worry about accidentally spoiling me. My favourite team is mint but I'm team coffee

Personality:

Istp 5w4 548. I'm ambivert, I'm very laid back and prefer to go with the flow of life but sometimes come off as ego-centric and domineering. I have to admit I’m a lazy person who prefers having a leisure more than anything else. I mostly spends my time as a stoic and a calm person and i might even come off as apathetic towards the world around me [even tho I’m not]. I’m usually perceived as being insensitive because i generally prefer to deal with emotions in my own head rather than openly [and somehow I'm still well liked?!] tbh I often think I’m above others, yet I am always willing to acknowledge that I’m a total piece of shit [very rarely tho] Sometimes i have fantasies and ideals that I want to start creating or becoming but i give myself a reality check and let the dream fade away. I’m very innovative but still choose the practical route a lot. It’s easy for me to create goals and envision the end results but it’s ridiculously hard for me to remain committed to the process. I have a very big ego but one word alone is enough to destroy it. i Will never admit my wrong, unless internally. I'm playful around people i like [friends, family, classmates] and if I believe I'm right I'll passive agressivly fight you to prove my point [even if I'm wrong]. Like i said i have hard time committing to something i loose interest, motivation and get bored rather easily. If I'm stressed about something i bottle everything up and worry about it alone. Not because I don't want to burden other or anything simply because my pride and ego is getting in my way. I'm not really a jealous person and even if i get jealous i keep it to myself and try my best to hide it. I care about what others think of me [more like what others think of my parents] so towards strangers and people that know my parents I'm very polite.

What i look for in a friend:

I don't really mind if they're stupid or smart introverted or extroverted but I want them to be entertaining they could have chaotic personality, good sense of humour or be extremely sarcastic/sassy and etc.

Favourite character:

Fish mafia + vil

Favourite otome game character:

From obey me: asmodeus & satan

I like asmodeus because He loves himself and he is not sorry about it. That’s probably what I am in awe of the most; being able to really love yourself without being apologetic about it. I also like some details of his personality; the way he seems to be competitive, how he teases and insults his brothers, the way he cares for them in his own way. i also love the fact that he's confident in his masculinity.

I like satan because he is like a cat, and I love cats. He's got a personality that is not too outgoing but not a total shut in. He's not suffering from self confidence issues, but he's not narssasiscitc either. He loves to read, which I can relate to and it's nice to have bookworm representation. He knows what he wants, he does what it takes to achieve it but he is always honest. i love his sarcasms. Plus He loves cats.

From mystic messenger: zen

1. I like his character design.

2. Just like asmodeus i don't mind that he's narcissist. I love when characters love themselves but aren't apologetic about it. And despite him bragging about his looks. he’s more so focused on his career, his relationships with his friends. plus despite what rote you pick he stays same.

From Ikemen vampire: Arthur Conan Doyle

I don't really remember his personality since i played it really long time ago but he's kinda like a jade leech and Floyd mixed together.

From Dangerous fellows: Eugene

I love his sarcasms and sassy personality. Even though he was mean at the start of the game he began to warm up to the mc soon.

From fictif_ last legacies: rime [even though he isn't a love interest]

Even though he tried to kill mc multiple times and he's always mean to us for no reason i still love him.

Who would i hang out with:

My first choice would be fish mafia.

are you more of a villain or princess at heart :

villainous Princess

I'm not a bad guy but I'm not kind pure soul either 🤷

Despite my laid back and lazy personality i somehow managed to get sorted into pomefiore. When vil kept talking about how laziness wouldn't be tolerated i felt personally attacked 💀

I'm so sorry it took so long

here is the link : 2 Lines & A Circle : Letter Matchup! Flavor of love event (tumblr.com)

[luveline]

Hiiii could you do a hurt/comfort with Sirius where reader feels like she's a horrible person and always thinks the worst of herself?

thank you so much for your request! Hope this is okay <3

Sirius' car begins to slow. You take it as an opportunity to cool down, escape the rising sheet of cigarette smoke dancing from between his fingers. You cross your arms across the open window of the car door and let the wind caress your face.

You can't help wondering why you're here with him. Sirius can have any girl he likes. Any friend, and company. 

"What're you thinking of?" he asks, voice rough on the exhale. 

You watch him over your shoulder. His arms move deftly, hand working double time to pull the wheel and reverse into a parking space while the other holds his cigarette aloft. 

"You want me to hold it?" you ask, gesturing. 

His eyes flit to you quickly and then away. "You're alright," he says

He puts the cig between his lips and uses his newly freed hand to pull the handbrake up. It glows as he inhales twice, fast, blowing smoke from the corner of his lips in a feat that impresses you. He kills the engine.

"You're quiet tonight," he comments, leaning back in the driver's seat, eyes scrunched together in question. 

You look back out the window over the dark landscape of your small town, a valley peppered in lights like crushed pearls. "I'm tired."  

It's believable. The radio reads 1:07AM. 

"You? My night owl?" he asks teasingly.

You can hear as he puts the cigarette out, stuffing it into a crushed butt in the ashtray. 

"Tell me what's actually wrong?" he asks. 

His voice doesn't sound anymore or less caring than it usually does, and maybe that's why you tell him. He feels impartial. 

"I think maybe I'm a bad person." 

He hums like this is something people say to him often. 

"Did something happen?"

You shift in your seat and let your arm hang low over the door, eyes closed. The metal is cool against your knuckles. 

"No." 

"You wanna know something?" he asks. 

You make a small sound at the back of your throat. 

He pinches the silver of naked waist peeking out of your shirt. You turn around, accepting of whatever it is he's going to say, sitting back peaceably and out of reach of his long fingers. 

"Bad people don't care about being bad. You think dickheads take the time?" he chuckles to himself. "They're too busy being dickheads." 

You lean your face against your shoulder and look at him from under your eyelashes. He softens, just a bit. 

"You're not a bad person." 

"I think maybe I am. I am, and I've tricked you into thinking I'm good." 

"Easily disproved; I'm too smart to be tricked," he says, first deadpan and then swathed in good humour, lips quirking up in a teasing, self-satisfied grin. 

You don't respond and he falters for the second time. His bravado ebbs. 

"Why do you think that?" 

You drop your shoulder. "I don't know." 

"Did someone make you believe that? No-" He stops you as you open your mouth, frowning slightly. "Really think about it. Is that your voice or someone else's?" 

His tone is firm enough to stop you in your tracks but you really aren't sure what the right answer is. 

"It sounds like me," you mumble. 

He looks thoughtful, his eyes dark where his thick eyebrows pinch down, face pressed against the car seat. He bridges the gap between you and straightens out your rolled up shirt sleeve. When that's done he works out the wrinkles with his fingertips. 

He stops, rests his hand on your arm, flexes his ring-heavy fingers. 

"What about me?" 

"What?" you ask, startled. 

"Does it sound like me?" 

"Never," you admit. 

His hand trails up your arm. He squeezes your wrist, your fingers, and works his thumb into your closed fist. 

"I don't lie. There's no point in it. So if you ever wanna ask me about it, if you're a bad person, you know I'll tell you the truth." 

You turn your hand and thread your fingers between his, relieved when he lets you. 

"Thanks, Sirius." 

"Yeah, you got it, angel." 

[leviathans-watching]

Hi! Can I request the obey me brothers comforting MC after someone insulted something that they're really passionate about? I wanna study psychology but my parents said I should go into a "real medical field" :')

the brothers comforting you after your dreams were insulted

includes: the brothers x/& gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)

wc: .7k | rated t | m.list

warnings: implied crying on your part, cursing, threats, mentions of violence/revenge plots, first-person shooter being played

a/n: hello! i am so sorry that happened to you! i hope you don't take their words to heart, as psychology is totally a real medical field and a completely valid career path. thanks for requesting! my inbox is open to chat, leave feedback, or request, so stop by!!

please reblog mwah

➳ lucifer pats your back soothingly, letting you get all of your frustrations out. “i know it may not seem that way, but what they said was wrong,” he says gently, but in his mind he’s already planning a murder. “some people just are too closed-minded and may not understand your aspirations, but know that no matter what anyone says, you’re valid and your dreams are valid.” you’re upset, obviously, and lucifer understands that completely, having been in your position. “it shouldn’t even matter what anyone else thinks.” he knows that while true, those words aren’t the most comforting, so he adds a ‘and i’ll be in your corner all of the way’ too.

➳ mammon throws his hands up, pacing. “i can’t believe someone said that to ya! i’ll kill them! how dare they!” he knows you’re the one whose supposed to be upset but he can’t help but feel mad on your behalf. “people like that just piss me off. they know they’re not good enough or smart enough to accomplish their dreams so they try to make others feel that way!” you’re watching him stalk back and forth, honestly less upset than you should be. mammon’s rage and concern for you is touching.

➳ levi scrunches up his nose, listening to you rant. “you’re so right. that was a shitty thing to do,” he agrees, supporting you all of the way. “some people are just jerks.” thinking back to all of the internet trolls that have tried to get under his skin, levi frowns. “when stuff like this happens to me i like to play one of my first person shooters,” he admits, offering for you to have a go. a few minutes later, he’s in awe as he watches you absolutely decimate the other players. maybe he should get you playing when you’re mad more often.

➳ satan wants to go to the person who insulted you and absolutely rip their heads off, but he has more pressing matters, like comforting you. “i’m sorry that happened,” he says sincerely, squeezing your hand. “they’re lying, though. they just like to piss on everyone else’s parades and tear them down in an effort to put themselves up. it sucks, but in the long run, it’ll suck more for them.” you chuckle a little, and he feels victorious. “anyway, it’s not like their opinion actually matters. you’ve got way cooler and smarter people on you’re side who are always right. like me.” that gets an actual smile, and satan can’t help but mirror it, the wrath in his gut lessening somewhat.

➳ asmo taps his chin, thinking aloud. “no, killing them would be too kind. i want them to suffer a little but every day for the rest of their lives.” it’s true that he’s not usually known as the one that comes up with crazy revenge plans, but look, that’s because he keeps them inside. “maybe i should just get belphie to give them horrible nightmares every night. or would that be too kind?” you’re starign at him, a little stunned, but hey, you’[re not crying any more, and he counts it as a win.

➳ beel frowns, sitting beside you on the bed. “they really said that? that’s so mean. why would they say something like that to someone else?” sighing heavily, he wraps an arm around you, letting your head fall onto his shoulder. “you want me to go talk to them or something?” he doesn’t know if he could actually do that without losing his cool, so he’s minutely relieved when you shake your head. “that’s totally fine. know that i’m here for you, okay? if you ever are having a problem with someone, don’t hesitate to ask for my help.”

➳ belphie wordlessly pulls back the covers, letting you slip under them. “shhh,” he comforts, letting you bury your head in his chest. “just feel what you’ve gotta feel.” wrapping his arms around you, belphie draws you in close. “i’m sorry they said that. it’s totally not true and they know it. they’re just being a dick.” pressing a kiss to the top of your head, belphie watches you just cling to him, emotionally wrung out from the criticisms. he’s more than willing to stay with you for as long as you need, though he is entertaining the thoughts of giving them a little visit.

leviathans-watching’s work - please do not repost, copy, or claim as your own

[olderthannetfic]

Hi! I know you're one of the older fans on Tumblr & I wanted to ask you about the anti movement. I'm 19 & when I see people talking about the ages of anti fans, they're often within the 14-25 age range & I have no idea why. I also feel it's a little unfair to say that younger fans tend to be antis, though it is understandable since I've also made mistakes when I didn't know things. Why do you think most antis are younger fans? What should younger fans who aren't antis do to be more involved?

Hee! I’m 40, which, tbh, actually isn’t that old for Tumblr (though it’s certainly old compared to the common perception of tumblr), so sure, I can probably answer this. I guess there are two questions here: 1. Is it true and 2. why, if so?

1. Experience suggests that antis do tend to be young... but it does not follow that young people tend to be antis. (You’d have to know the proportion of antis relative to the overall population of fandom, which we don’t. I think the majority of people of any age tend to want to read fic in peace and not be roped into endless wank.) I definitely see some ringleaders who are older and good at manipulating fandom trends for their own ends too.

2. Why would this be the case?

When I was in college, we used to joke about all the freshman year Marxists. It’s an eternal phenomenon: people who don’t have much experience learn a new thing and are on fire to change the world using the one tool in their toolbox. (To a man with a hammer, yadda yadda.) There’s no passion like the passion of the newly converted, and young people tend to have a lot more energy and often a lot more free time to yell on social media. Antis may be one expression of this among people currently in that age bracket. It’s not like people my age didn’t do other annoying-ass things when we were that age. You just don’t see it because it was 20 years ago, a lot of it was never online, and all the websites/platforms from then have been systematically destroyed. (Often by yahoo. Fuck yahoo.)

The other half of the reason, in my opinion, is that there have been concerted efforts to sway lefty/socially liberal people in specific--often TERFy--ways. It’s somewhat reminiscent of the right wing radicalization of gamer guys.

People are susceptible to it because their lives suck and because they don’t know enough history or have enough confidence to form their own opinions and stand up for them. Sure, some people are going to go hardcore for anti views no matter how much they know, but a lot of people are just being swept along with the tide because something sounds superficially pro-gay or pro-protecting kids or whatever.

I cannot emphasize enough that the things that make someone ripe for the alt right are the same things that make them ripe for cults and for various kinds of toxic fandom shit: it’s usually the smart, sensitive overthinkers who don’t have enough close actual friends and who aren’t in a good place in their lives.

---

So what can you do?

You can try to make fewer more significant friendships and make sure your support system isn’t people you only know because you currently share a fandom. Most of my offline friends are people I found through fandom meetups, don’t get me wrong. I’m all for making fandom your life and only hanging out with fandom people, but we’re just regular friends who have dinner parties and shit (well, when it’s not the plaguetimes). Most of the time, we don’t share specific ships or fandoms. It’s vitally important to have a real support network that can’t be ripped away by social media wank.

The next thing we can all do is publicly stand up for what we believe in and not cave to pressure just because someone yelled “think of the children”. It’s important to be clear about the real history and logic behind these things, whether it’s the history of censorship that inspires people to support AO3′s extremely permissive policies or the fact that ‘queer’ was a fully reclaimed umbrella term in the 90s.

It’s okay if we don’t all agree. What’s not okay is appeals to emotion and ignoring science. A lot of anti bullshit is like “Rape fantasies are an abnormal red flag”, and this goes against every damn thing we know about human sexuality.

Part of this is examining our own stances for illogic and hypocrisy. If thought crimes aren’t real, then all of them aren’t real. I see way too many “Okay, but that one gross kink though!” comments from people who claim to be on my side, and this is very silly.

Possibly the biggest thing, though, is that we as a planet need to start being savvier about shitty social media and how it’s destroying our mental health. I don’t have a good overall solution, and obviously, I’m still on tumblr, but we all really need to cut down the amount of time we’re on sites like Facebook and Twitter and probably tumblr too. The more it has an algorithm and the less it has moderation, the more it’s a problem. Individual discords and spaces that can have moderation are better. It’s fine if some of them are 100% antis. The point is to have multiple spaces with rules that suit different groups.

A thing you can do is make your own spaces: be the owner of a discord for your ship, not just a passive participant at the mercy of shitty mods in an existing one. Run a fic exchange with rules you think are sensible and be firm when people try to scream about problematique things you don’t agree are a problem. One of the most pernicious anti problems is mods breaking the rules of their own spaces (usually a “no kinkshaming” one) to cave to social pressure from the loudest, most assholish set of people in the server. They don’t know how many people quietly disapprove and quietly leave their fandoms because they only fear the loud harassers, not the silent toll of caving to them.

Honestly, the climate of fear is the big issue more than a bit of yelling: I routinely meet 20-somethings who live in fear of being canceled and shunned. You can help this by... not being like that with your friends. If they’re friends with a canceled person, don’t ask them to drop the canceled person or face the same fate. If you disagree about some fandom hot take, talk about it calmly and don’t act like the friendship will be over in 5 seconds and you’ll use all your knowledge of them against them in a public callout because they didn’t instantly agree.

Basically, have some self confidence and don’t be fucking terrified all the time... which can be a tall order and probably explains the age thing also.

[izusun]

*hands you an AU dump to hoard like a little goblin handing a small coin to a dragon*

OKAY so basically: after the doctor's visit where Izuku learns he's quirkless (I hc that they went when he was about five n' a half), Inko does a little bit of research on quirks and more specifically on her son's notebooks, learns that he's even more brilliant at quirk analysis than she originally suspected, and (after looking at some not great quirkless statistics) she instead informs Izuku that no, he's had a quirk all along! It's an analysis quirk!

So she updates the quirk registry, and Izuku goes through his life believing he has an analysis quirk, albeit teased for being a late bloomer, but he still can't shake the insecurity being quirkless for that one and a half year gave him.

He does research on all sorts of things, hacking, knife throwing, first aid, and building his own support gear and takes to all of it like a duck to water. He also does research on UA's policy for support gear in the entrance exam (cause surely they've gotta have a policy for non-offensive quirks like Koda and Hagakure) and finds that he can take one with him if he builds it himself. He goes fuckin bonkers.

Anyways: he trains with Katsuki, cause they're relationship is pretty good since Izuku has a 'quirk.' They both demolish the entrance exam. (Also Izuku kinda swears a lot because Katsuki rubs off on him)

Aizawa doesn't notice a goddamn thing is amiss until the battle trials on the second day (he decides to shadow All Might that day), where when he was using his quirk to silence his students while Izuku was rambling, he just didn't stop, as if he didn't notice anything was wrong. It happens again during the USJ.

So at some point during the sports festival, Nedzu (who is now intrigued because of Aizawa's complaining) invites Izuku into his office during a free period and lets him go ham on analysis, all while Aizawa is secretly there erasing Izuku's 'quirk.' Nedzu invites Izuku to be his personal student (making Aizawa go grey), he says yes, and then Nedzu drops the absolute BOMBSHELL that Izuku is actually quirkless. Cue an existential crisis.

(Also Izuku gets captured at the training camp alongside Katsuki because of his "analysis quirk," wonder how well that goes for him~)

- Goblin anon (sorry this one was kinda long)

GOBLIN?? DUDE???? HOLY SHIT I KNEW YOUR AUS ARE ALWAYS PHENOMENAL BUT THIS RIGHT HERE??? D U D E

i misunderstood the prompt a bit but i genuinely don’t know how to backtrack, so here you go goblin. sorry again o(TヘTo)

ok first of, inko taking on a stronger stance to support her son? love that of her. like, she doesn’t say sorry when izuku turned to look at her and cried that he can’t be like all might. instead, she took him in her arms and assures him that he will be a great hero. at first, of course half of it is lip service because she doesn’t know how to help her quirkless boy be a hero, since, you know, heroes need quirks.. (or do they)

and then she comes across a quirkless self help group which rang many many warning bells in her head. what kind of life do quirkless people live when a google research of them resulted in subsequent pages of results like how to stay safe when quirkless, or how to find jobs when quirkless, or quirkless mortality rates?

she fears for izuku, until she notices that her son’s smart. too smart for his age, but inko thought she’s just being biased. but izuku’s wit is something many people notice, for an instance, when izuku goes to the park to play and his friends’ (the few ones who stayed) parents tell her that her son’s smart for a quirkless person, she realizes that izuku’s wit is far more vast than normal.

then a thought worms into her head but wouldn’t it be bad to lie…but also, no one would be any the wiser.

further pushed by all the statistics she keeps seeing, or the lack thereof, about quirkless people, she makes the decision and pours it to izuku.

izuku who’s far smarter than his age and understood what his mom is asking from him. izuku who already saw the disparities between quirked and quirkless people at the tender age of five. izuku who knows what it means to lie about something as personal as a quirk, but realizes that it’s necessary for him to do so if he wants to live a “normal” life.

so he agrees; he tells inko that he’ll work even harder to sharpen his mind, and to keep expanding his knowledge.

when izuku’s quirk file is officially updated, he watches how his peers and teachers revert back into treating him as izuku. he regains his old friends, but he chose to drop them because he doesn’t want to surround himself with people who thought he was less for being quirkless.

katsuki stayed, surprisingly. katsuki stayed and everyday he kept bothering izuku to “get your quirk already!” katsuki stayed because he can’t fathom that the smartest boy in their class (of course not as smart as him, psshh) is quirkless. deku couldn’t be quirkless. (but if he found out that izuku, indeed, is, i wonder what would happen…)

katsuki was one of the loudest to celebrate when izuku announced that his quirk arrived.

“finally!” he screams and bothers izuku about the semantics of his quirk. he really wasn’t surprised to find out that izuku has an analysis quirk because he thought that nothing else would better be suited for izuku.

he doesn’t know that izuku pours so much of his time into learning and studying, often bypassing basics and intros to take more of the developed courses that are usually recommended for older ages. he doesn’t know that izuku is just a naturally smart kid with the ability to fill the gaps of his young mind with knowledge upon knowledge, storing and stacking them until he feels that he’s laid a sturdy foundation for his fake quirk.

then izuku began threading into different areas. he learns how to get into cyberspaces; hacking into accounts and delving more into how to access private information. he doesn’t thread too close lest he gets caught, but he learns the logistics of maneuvering around the web and burrowing in empty spaces to branch out his own. he creates and designs web algorithms for himself, just so he doesn’t trigger anyone who is looking into the web movements. he hones this and uses it to access more information.

then when he deems it enough, he turns his attention to something more tangible and something more physical. he learns other ways to be a hero; how to fight without a physical quirk, how to win against bigger opponents, how to use analysis quirk in fights.

izuku becomes more than a fake analysis quirk user; he creates it.

mental quirks are hard to describe, more so to compress, thus he creates new definitions of an analysis quirk. what used to be a silly lie is now a tangible fact that izuku believes in. because what makes a quirk? because what makes analysis a quirk? he learns these semantics (often political) and uses it to his advantage.

then he finally threads to hero analysis. at first it were classmates he analyzed; eyes running quickly at their forms and watching with great interest before calculating everything he’s seen and transversing it with the things he learned, and bridges these two facts together to create an analysis. it was a struggle at first: he didn’t know which to put emphasis on until he realizes, he doesn’t need to. he weaves them together and lets his analysis run long and watches how his hobby comes into fruition.

following his classmates are current heroes. these were more tough and more fun, and any of the information is less shared. he doesn’t tell his classmates or teachers about his analyses, only katsuki. and katsuki’s breath hitch every damn time at izuku’s talent quirk.

it is in their second year of middle school that midoriya begins to incorporate the facts with himself to create physical performances. the issues and things he learned through observing are now practiced by himself. he calculates the best way to fight with a body as petite as his, often taking examples from pro-hero hawks and other women heroes. their agilities and physicality suit izuku’s young body; he doesn’t see the merit in punching his way through things when he physically cannot.

so he learns ways to ease his muscles. he learns ballet and gymnastics; lets his muscles contort and mend themselves anew. he finds his balance and roots himself firmly, and learns to calculate his actions so he doesn’t waste his energy. katsuki doesn’t say anything, but he sees izuku’s dance and falls in love.

then in the spring of their third year of middle school, izuku learns how to build and handle weapons.

this is the easiest. izuku learns that weapons aren’t tools, but extensions of his arms and hands. they are not to be revered and not to be depended on because they can fail. instead, he learns to wield weapons as though they are parts of his bodies. he learns how to use swords and often narrowing to wooden sticks that can be picked up anywhere; he learns how to fire guns and how to hide daggers in his uniform. he learns that his body is the best weapon to use and that tools are just arsenal to help him win.

then he learns how to build them.

by summer, izuku begins reaching into UA’s servers. they are hard codes to crack, but not impossible. it takes him five days to access old entrance exam videos. the next day, the videos are snuffed and he is left to try digging deeper into UA.

he fails.

nezu must have caught onto his codes and proceeded to build walls against it.

so he slithers out. but a five minute video of last year’s entrance exam is enough for izuku because he learns two things: one, heroes must defeat villains and two, heroes must save others.

izuku prepares for this. unknowingly, katsuki is taught these same principles. katsuki would grumble and tell him that he knows what heroes must do, but izuku continues to hammer it down to him.

by the time of the UA entrance exam, izuku falls into the ease of having a fake quirk. he passes the written exam with flying colours and although it took three teachers to approve his support gears (present mic had to pull in powerloader, midnight, and hound dog to ensure that the well designed support gears are made by the hero student examinee and not by a support student examinee. majima saw the works and begged nezu to allow izuku to be his student.), izuku still succeeds and dominates the entrance exam.

when the zero pointer was released, he had flung himself towards the girl crushed by debris and yanks her out. he doesn’t waste a modified grenade to explode the zero pointer because through his calculations, doing so would not only create more collateral damage, but would also endanger the examinee in his arms because she still would be caught in the crossfire.

nezu hums in appreciation from the screening room, after all, smart minds always do think alike.

izuku gets a whopping 92 in the physical aspects of the entrance exam.

katsuki gets 85.

aizawa gleefully takes them in.

izuku thinks that no one will ever know of his and inko’s secret, but one look at nezu’s beady eyes and he knew that the stoat knew. it became a game to them, then. a game to see who else would realize.

and while izuku is smart, he doesn’t realize that nezu has basically taken him as his personal student the moment he and izuku had created a bet.

it takes two months for aizawa to figure things out. surprisingly, he is the only one to do so and he only realizes due to the many untimely attacks of LoV.

——

how angst would it be if katsuki realizes that izuku’s always been quirkless during their captivity in the LoV’s hideout.

[cazimagines]

Hey! 🖤

If you are taking requests, what about headcanons about Laszlo dating an insecure reader that sometimes doesn't think they deserve him because they think they're not smart enough... not like I'm projecting or something 😅

Thank you for your time and I love your writing! ✨✨✨

I feel you on this 😅

- John didn't want you involved in the case of the murdered boys, because after all, he thought that something like that would be too horrific for his younger sister to see and although you did find it all terribly ghastly you wanted to help as much as you could, and rather you quite enjoyed spending company with one of John's closest friends Dr. Laszlo Kreizler.

- You were always John's youngest sister, whenever he brought his friends from Harvard around for dinner and drinks he would simply mention you in passing as you watched them come in. "Ah yes this is my younger sister y/n Moore, bare her no mind, I believe the drinks are this way" and you adored your brother even if at times he seemed embarrassed by you, so you would try and get involved in their nights together but he would hurry you away. "This is no place for a young girl like you" he would tell you, pushing you out of the door which you found dreadfully unfair as you were only a few years younger than him.

- Laszlo caught your interest pretty quickly. He was the most introverted out of all of John's friends, usually standing at the side and just observing the door. But his quiet persona caught your interest. You tried to talk to him in the times John wasn't around to push you away and he was polite to you. He wasn't like John's other friends who treated you like a child, he spoke to you as if you were an adult on the same grounds at him. The conversation could be awkward, both of you not really sure what to say, but you enjoyed seeing him scramble for words, things to say to you.

- After John moved out you saw less and less of him, and you hardly saw Laszlo anymore which upset you deeply. Over the years you became a lady and was soon expected to court and marry. Already you were past the time most people married and people were starting to ask questions. Your family were trying to convince you to marry, including John but how could you ever marry when your heart already belonged to the Alienist. Your life had been relatevily easy, you never went to university like your brother as that was not what women did, instead you spent your days learning hobbies, going shopping with your friends, attending social events. The norms.

- You weren't really sure how you ended up involved in the murdered boys investigation, you suppose as you found out John was involved that was your ticket to involve yourself as well no matter how much it displeased him. Really you cared for all the boys and you wanted to capture this murderer, but you knew the real reason for helping was to be able to see Laszlo again after all these years.

- But you knew you weren't any help. How could you? You were simply a higher class woman with no skills within any of these areas, simply getting involved because she could. You were convinced any day now Laszlo would ask you not to help out anymore as you had no purpose. But he didn't. He allowed you to stay around even with John's complaining. He would often ask you questions that were bugging him, wanting to hear your opinion. Soon when he found John a bore he asked you to accompany him to dinner, or to the Opera, or even to the park to think. Eyebrows might have been raised at such requests, how much time you were spending together without courting but you didn't mind for you were over the moon at being able to spend all this time with him without your brother.

- Soon it was like you were spending every moment with him, to the point where even John was noticing and making remarks which you and Laszlo brushed off. But one evening this was all confronted. It was late at the institute, you and Laszlo had chosen to stay behind to go over some of the new information while John and Sara had left. To help you and Laszlo had a drink of wine, which lead to two drinks, which then lead to three. Soon enough you two were sitting in the chairs in his office, laughing and joking around.

- You were so happy, and as you looked upon him, seeing how bright his eyes were, how his cheeks were tinged red, you knew if you didn't say something now you would come to regret it. And so there in his office, late in the night and slightly drunk, you confess the love for him that you have kept within yourself for years, the love that you have every time he is near and how much you wish you could be Mrs. Kreizler instead of Miss. Moore.

- Laszlo paled and stumbled with his words. At first, you worried it might have been a mistake and hastily you move to leave the room embarrassed and ashamed. But Laszlo was quick to stop you, pulling you back towards him. From his lips tumbles the words about how he shouldn't, how you are John's little sister, how John would kill him. But then his lips meet yours and everything felt right. Everything was how it should have been.

- John got a dreadful shock the next day seeing you and Laszlo arm in arm. He almost collapsed on the spot if Sara hadn't caught him. He had to sit down with the both of you and talk about how the hell this had happened, what this meant for the future, accepting the fact that Laszlo was now to become his brother-in-law. But eventually, he admitted he was happy for both of you.

- Everything was perfect, the case was solved, you and Laszlo were happily married, it was everything you had ever dare dream about and yet you still felt out of place. Laszlo was a brilliant mind, you were amazed day after day by all the knowledge he had, how he was able to help your patients. Usually, when people met Laszlo they assumed his significant other would have the same brains as him, yet you didn't. You were just like every other upper-class woman.

- It's not as if you didn't try. While Laszlo was out you would go into his office and pick out a book, trying to read it in the hope of improving your knowledge but it didn't work. Nothing stuck in. You felt the room feeling worse than when you entered. You would often stare into the mirror trying to figure out why Laszlo decided to marry you because it obviously wasn't for your intelligence. Was it for your looks? Perhaps he felt pity that you confessed your love that he courted you as he would have felt bad otherwise, or could the worst situation be true and that it was because you were John's sister?

- Laszlo came home early one night and found you crying because of it. You hadn't meant for him to see you but you didn't even know he was there until he came into the room. He held you in his arm for a minute, rubbing your back and letting you cry into his chest so you can let it all out. Eventually, when your tears dried up gently he moved his arm to hold your head up, making you look at him. "You don't give yourself enough credit mine Liebling, I always value your opinion and deductions and you are skilled in ways you don't even realise. Intelligence isn't dependent on academic success."

- He knew. Of course, a brilliant mind of Laszlo knew what was wrong without you even needing to say a word. "I just feel like I don't deserve you Laszlo" you whisper and his eyes soften, "I often feel the same way y/n" he murmurs, "I feel like you deserve better, a man who can hold you with both his arms, who can offer you a life where people won't look down at you for marrying a social outcast. A man who can give you so much more than I can. And every day I wake up beside you and I wonder what a truly lucky man I've become"

- Even throughout all of the doubts the both of you had, each of you knew how much you loved each other and with that, it was enough to cast aside any insecurities and doubts the two of you might have had.

TAGS: @shrekboobies @arianalilyblack @wonderwoman292 @justreadingficsdontmindme @thehuiabird @that-stupid-head-tilt-thing @zemosimp420 @kadeuuijib @lieutenantn @neoarchipelago @cable-kenobi @edencherries @faustlyaccused @julyvegan @prestigious-tea @hannahbal-the-fannibal @my-blood-is-maple-syrup @competitivepomegranate @welcometothemxdhouse @flutterskies @rumblelibrary @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sky-writes-stuff @rhinestxn-e @davianos-blog @mywinterivy @xxlumos @cathana2264 @ajokeformur-ray @nev3rfound @unbeatablecurlgirl

[mymarifae]

You ever think about the fact that maybe the reason Berdly might be bad at video games is because he has no time to play them but still loves them

hahahaaaa oh all the time bestie :) :')

you know he really doesn't talk about video games as much as like, fanon depiction would lead you to believe. he really is extremely focused on academics and his jobS. i'd have to doublecheck, but from what i remember, he doesn't bring up Hashtag Gaming in any of his light world interactions? aside from the anniversary stream of course. that really only comes out in the dark world, where schoolwork and workwork have faded to the back of his mind ('tis worth noting the interactions with him in the light world are pretty minimal BUT LIKE MY POINT-)

i'm sure he likes people to think he has his life put together enough to work two jobs, to be hometown high's top student, and to be a budding professional gamer or whatever. but. he absolutely does not. kiddo has to be exhausted :( it's amazing that he stays on top of school the way he does and doesn't just collapse onto his bed whenever he gets home, mindlessly playing video games until he eventually passes out

something that sits with me a lot is that he attributes his grades to noelle and don't get me wrong - he probably wouldn't be doing as well if she weren't there to support him. but they're both really busy. noelle's on cross country, and i wouldn't be surprised if she's involved in other extracurriculars, and she spends a lot of her free time at the hospital with rudy. i don't think these tutoring sessions happen as often as his dialogue implies 😐

in all actuality, he probably frequently struggles through homework and studying on his own. noelle is the only person he allowed himself to be honest around; he's not going to seek out help from a professional tutor or alphys or worse, another one of his classmates. he sits there and he forces himself to learn the material, maybe texting/calling noelle to ask her something, and they probably have study sessions of course...once or twice a month. i imagine the thing noelle does most often is check his work before class and they go over anything he might have done wrong

and he knows he won't have noelle's support forever - or, he thinks. once college rolls around, noelle won't have any reason to hang around him anymore - she's pretty and she's talented and she's smart as all hell, and she's sweet and generous, and she could make friends with anyone ever, and berdly seems convinced their friendship is simply one of like...hm. proximity. take this bit from night in the woods

and in some ways, that's likely an accurate assumption. let's be real. (but as bea goes on to say, the relationship born from proximity is still important, and it's still a beautiful friendship worth cherishing) but i bring this up because with this perceived soon-to-be end of their friendship hanging over berdly's head, he probably spends more time than ever studying on his own

he doesn't get free time. it's funny to joke about, but video games aren't a part of his life right now. he really just... doesn't have the time. anyway i need to adopt him instantly

[o-wyrmlight]

when did dark cacao start hallucinating? has it been like this since childhood or did these symptoms show up later in his life?

He started exhibiting signs of depressive schizoaffective disorder since he was probably about eighteen years old. He's smart enough to eventually recognize that they're hallucinations, and over the years, he's come to recognize that they're heavily biased based on his perception of events and what he knows. More than anything, they're sort of more grounded in reality and revolve around his own personal history haunting him.

Unbeknownst to him, his father has the same disorder to some degree that started around the same age after his own parents died. It's probably part of the reason he comes across as so aggressive. His is more characterized by delusions, paranoia and mania, centered largely around protecting everyone against what lays behind the Great Chocolate Wall at all costs, even himself. I'm not sure if his is moreso paranoid schizophrenia or schizoaffective, but it definitely gets worse when he puts himself in high-stress situations.

I'm not sure if Dark Choco naturally has it. Since schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder is believed to have a genetic attribute to it, I do believe that he would be prone to having it under the right circumstances. By and large, I think that component alone is probably what makes him weak to his mind-altering weapon, even if he himself doesn't have either. I'm sure the trauma of trying to destroy his kingdom and nearly killing his dad doesn't help.

I really am trying to write these disorders and mental illnesses with respect, keeping in mind that it's often used as a subject of villainization. People who do have schizoaffective disorders and schizophrenia are not necessarily bad people--in fact, they're much more likely to be hurt than hurt other people themselves.

With Dark Cacao, I'm trying to make it so that his hallucinations and how it affects his perception of reality exists, but he is aware that they are... perceptions and don't necessarily equate to how things actually are.

I'm rambling. Idk. Basically if I'm getting something wrong or being disrespectful with how I'm trying to interpret it, please call me out on it, let me know what I'm doing wrong, and maybe help me figure out how to fix it.