#they're kind of the same thing sort of
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Causes of regeneration
Cause of death for each incarnation of the Doctor:
1: Worn out
2: Forced
3: Radiation
4: Fall (impact trauma)
5: Spectrox Toxaemia (poisoning)
6: Radiation
7: Medical Malpractice
8: Crash (impact trauma)
War: Worn out
9: Time Vortex (radiation)
10: Laser (Dalek)
10.2: Radiation
11: Age (worn out)
12: Laser (Cyberman)
13: Laser
14: Laser
Laser: 4
Radiation: 4
Worn out: 3
Impact trauma: 2
Other: 3
Currently lasers and radiation are tied. Boy needs to avoid high energy sources, damn.
#doctor who#regeneration#doctor who misc#Taking the Sixth Doctor regeneration details from the Big Finish Audio rather than the novel#laser vs radiation#they're kind of the same thing sort of
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Building up on both of does anon posts, Machete and Vasco being historical figures that make waves every so often on tumblr feels very canon and not too far from actual tumblr's favourite historical figures.
And also, I feel that Machete shouldn't go that unnoticed by scholars. Being this powerful member of the clergy that escaped many assassination attempts before being killed and had a personal relationship with the pope. Like this man was a deathly and important part of the inquisition, but also left behind rumours of a same-sex relationship with a married politician.
I can definitely see him becoming a point of interest for some historians, especially does who studied the inquisition or the clergy. That's probably how Vasco's paintings of him got discovered and documented and how their relationship stopping being considered a rumour started by his now-death enemies, but an actual theory with some weight behind it.
Idk why but I'm becoming very invested in the ways history would treat and remember them, way too many scandals and drama for them to be forgotten in time.
You do make a very convincing point.
People are getting so invested in their hypothetical in-universe reputation and are clearly putting some serious thought into it and it's getting me hyped up as well ;_;
#answered#anonymous#Vaschete scenarios#the fact that the modern au takes place on the same timeline and works as sort of a reincarnation situation kind of complicates things#I'd either have to figure out how to keep the present day iterations from ever learning too much about their 'previous selves'#which can be a little tricky since history is something they're interested in#or tone down the resemblance and similarities enough that they could pass as a weird but plausible coincidence#I'm probably thinking about this too hard it doesn't matter that much
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Jackie died. Jackie died and I'm devastated. I will never be the same person again
#I had to pause the game to bawl my eyes out#I WAS SO INVESTED IN HIM ARE YOU KIDDING ME#I think I get what you're trying to say to me game. is it worth it to put yourself in danger#and destroy yourself for a chance at a fame that you probably won't even get to enjoy#because you won't be there to see it?#is it worth it to break the hearts of the people you love in this pursuit? the people who'll grieve you?#I mean it's part of the first question that dex asks you when this whole thing starts and the last thing he says to you is also about that#about whether you wanna live a peaceful life or. go out like this#I get that. if that's what it's going for I get that. it gets the point across I'm not angry. but also#THAT WAS MY FRIEND#JACKIE MY FRIEND JACKIE 😭#WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DIED OF BLOOD LOSS THIS IS BULLSHIT#I'm never getting over this#sleep.txt#cp2077#jackie welles#OK OK HOLD ON I have more to say. I wanna expand on that jdjfkdkf bc I have Thoughts. especially playing corpo v like#I think the whole thing hit me even harder as corpo bc you get to see a sort of parallel situation with your v#where you had all this renown and respect but it came at a great cost. so great it nearly killed you#and then you go through that again and now you're dying and your friend is dead#and it's all in the pursuit of fame and money#that scene in the car when they're heading for the hotel reminded me so much of that initial scene with v#when you get in your fancy car and sip your fancy champagne#and like 10 minutes later nearly get killed by people from arasaka#I think there might be a point to be made there. about jackie heading towards the same kind of life just with a different coat of paint#being seduced by the same things we were seduced by while accepting the cost without fully understanding it#and then when you're faced with it it's. well it's heartbreaking and life ending#self destruction in the pursuit of something that makes you wonder if it was even all that worth it to begin with#viktor vektor is probably the happiest person I've met so far and that's saying something#anyway rant over. ty for your time I'm gonna go cry over jackie in the corner excuse me
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Some fantasy traveler inventory details (like what they would carry in their bags), based on two of the recent costumes I did.. love finding random little scraps and items and putting them together lol
#it's obvious who's is who's since they match their outfits HOWEVER.. consider if they were switched lol#evil villain looking man carrying around pressed flowers in a cutesy lacy pouch#fantasy costume#what's in my bag#actualyl that would have been funny to make a video. I should make a video#I'm sure someone else has already done this#but like.. lifestyle vlogger type content however I'm dressed in fully costume as some weird elf or something#pulling things out of my bag and showing them to the camera and talking about how they're useful for whatever#but it's all fantasy scenarios and talking like it's very common#'and of course. i know it's a bit cliche#EVERY traveler has one of these. but you know. theyre just useful! thats why everyone has one!' *pulls out a completely unrecognizable item#thats like some weird fantasy world prop and doesn't even explain it because In-world it's normal and wouldnt need to be talked about*#'room tour' video and it's just like 'yeah I sleep on this mat under a bunch of trees uh.. over here by these rocks. at least right now. I#kind of wander around a bit. so'#Like a clothing haul but it's a potions shop haul or something and they ramble about some obscure drama in the potions community and how the#y hard to barter and steal and entire flock of sheep or something just to get one of them. etc. etc.#I could do ones for different characters too like. multiple people from different walks of life showing what they carry around with them.#just like this but more interview sort of vlog format instead of photos#This is where not having much money and not having my own house with land becomes an issue though#I think it would take you out of the illusion if the background was always the same. I can make small sets because there's one blank wall in#a room that it's easy to move all the stuff away from in front of and clear a spot and like hang up fabrics or whatever but still.. hmms#So one of those 'fun idea but dubious about handling the execution' things. also One Of Those Things where without looking it up you're 100%#sure it's already been done and you don't want to look weird since it's vaguely niche. Like if 100 people have done something it's fine but#if only like 3 other people have then you look weird maybe ghhjbj.. or only one other person gods forbid. looks even weirder potentially#Or do people not care about ''copying'' anymore?? idk. I'm not updated with the internet's changing culture. I just have a fear of accidenta#lly doing something like that and then people getting mad even though it's really just that I competely had no idea it had been done because#again.. I live under a rock and am unaware of everything lol. ANYWAY. also would require my face being on video which I don't like. Though I#would be in costume so that helps. I think to be fully comfortable I'd need light modifications to make my face look different. which isn't#hard but is more effort when it has to be translatable in multiple angles. ANYWAY. ghjbhj... Now I think it would be funny actually. maybe#one day. I haven't made any videos (aside from on the gameplay/sims channel) in a long long time actually. hmm'st
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😭
#Is there any agony worse than having brought up your original character too many times to the same person and realizing that in#consideration you'd better not mention said character again -#but you love this character with all your heart and since they're in your head you can't go exploring art or analyses or any of those good#things - you've just got to quietly love them and the scenes you've imagined for them and be polite and not bring them up again#because you already mentioned them too many times!#*crumples onto a fainting couch and gropes vaguely for smelling salts.* Agony...#neverending storytellers#EDIT: For those kind kind souls who want to comfort me - I am not actually in agony. I am just pressing my hand to my forehead#and spinning round with love for my character and despair that while my skill with social cues has some gaps I sadly have enough of#such social skills that I sort of know when I'd better stop. Maybe.#It's the cheerfullest kind of agony.
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mr spices and mr wines. also mr candles and mr veils.
have you ever seen that one tumblr post that's like. "i don't ship these characters i just think they belong in couples therapy together". yeah. that's pretty much my stance on most spacebat ships
#the hearts on the veils/candles bingo are broken bc. well. yknow#ask#i do have slightly different outlooks on both of them#spwines is basically just canon to me in a divorced way. like. i dont think they're romantic. but i Do think they're infinitely divorced#the spwines divorce is extremely real#soulmates that will find each other in every universe type shit. except the soulmates is being Exes™ in every universe#their constant bickering is amusing and im delighted everytime they show up together bc without fail they argue. and it's enrichment for me#i just know the scoundrel is involving herself in the spwines divorce war on the side of mr wines#(she really needs better things to do with her time)#fallen london#veils/candles on the other hand i dont really actively ship? i think it's an intriguing prospect#i like seeing interpretations of their dynamic#but i dont think they necessarily ever had a relationship like that. and if they ever did. well. it's a bit fucked up now isnt it#the tragedy of candles is definitely a lot more tragic if you interpret him and veils as being Close. but i think of it as extra spice#on top of an already delicious dish#yknow?#that being said. they're kind of on the same Extreme Divorced wavelength as spwines. albeit obviously in a VERY different way#i think the most karmically fitting fate for veils is being tormented by its sins (particularly towards candles) for all eternity#and like. that's a ship. in a way. of a sort.#veils alone with the corpse it lovingly handcrafted and left to rot at the bottom of a well#it's the classic disney villain ending where the antagonist gets literally dragged away and punished by their victims#which is all to say#that one bag a legend text where veils is speaking to someone you cant see and it's Afraid. that's delicious#i love it being tormented like that and we all should hold candles over its head forever and ever
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I mean this in the ace-est possible way but Dimple-in-Reigen's-body is really hot. sorry.
#'but scribe you don't experience attraction what does this even--'#I Do Not Know.#it's just. it's just the Vibes.#other things with similar Vibes include:#really good topstitching#when art is a specific kind of Very Shaped#extremely sharp knives#(ONLY craft knives tho cooking knives and weapons don't count)#olivier armstrong fullmetalalchemist#um. the concept of herb spirals in permaculture#enjambment#a lot of literary devices actually#anaphora is very sexy#sestinas if they're good#ANYWAY the point is that i went from the sort of ace person who would never in a million years use words like 'hot' or 'sexy'#to the sort of ace person who uses them and the things they describe are sure a Category#but not a category that maps in any way at all onto the commonly accepted actual definitions of the words#and then very occasionally a character will enter The Category#and i'll be like what the fuck i don't feel like that about *people*!?#and then i have to remind myself that it's the same feeling as looking at topstitching#okay that's one point#the other point is still that possessed Reigen is hot#ace stuff#mp100
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The concept of queerbaiting annoys me. I was told that it refers to a work of fiction pretending to cater to a queer audience but then pulling back from it to avoid alienating homophobes, which is an incredibly specific thing. But a lot of people seem to think that it instead means "any time there's any gay subtex, metaphor, or ambiguity" or "whenever something from 1995-2012 was being a normal amount of homophobic for the era."
#I've secondhand seen the way Sherlock...was.#And yeah that's very pointedly cruel to the audience.#But not everything is that aware of its following to point by point mock them for half an hour.#And I think people forget that for a period there was a unique combination of awareness of gay people and homophobia bad#and a severe need to avoid being perceived as gay (and sometimes homophobic) at the same time#while it was ALSO very acceptable to treat the existence of gay people and homophobia or discomfort with both as a joke#so that whole wink wink nudge nudge dance was a huge thing in some of the 90s and earlier 2000s#and sometimes by doing that people accidentally made it seem even more fucking gay.#Or on purpose. People also forget that yeah gay people could exist as a joke but they couldn't be casual protags or w/e.#It wasn't really done like that.#I think what it's really proof of is that the 90s/early 2000s is long enough ago that people have become illiterate to the cultural cues.#When comedians complain 'you cant make jokes anymore' sometimes this is the exact thing they're referring to.#Gay people being on TV or in books isn't some funny joke you make anymore. Just being gay or seen as gay isn't the punchline it used to be.#People are shitty about it still but it's in a different way now. Being gay isn't as much the big embarrassment it used to be.#Gay tv shows and books are a whole market now. And stuff like Sherlock or supernatural were made right in the middle of that shift.#It's the only way you could position a strategy like this. I don't know if that cultural moment really exists anymore.#Audience backlash is also more massive and in real time.#Now instead of mockery at the idea of idk Dr house md being gay conservatives would see it as a 'culture war' thing.#And non conservatives are more vocal and more liable to criticize. TV shows are seen as keepers of culture in ways they weren't before.#I don't know how to describe it exactly. I'm not an expert and I know I'm missing some pieces or things I wanted to point out.#But yeah I just think people kind of. Forgot how people treated gayness as some kind of cootie disease you had to say#You didn't have really hard all the time. People are still sort of like that but idk the language changed.#A lot of talk about homophobia and queerness is very pseudo-academic now. The distancing happens with different signifiers.#But. Yeah.#☠️#I also think queerbaiting requires a specific kind of intent as a marketing strategy.#Instead of the more likely 'well we have an unintended gay following now so I guess we can throw in some fanservice#the network would literally never allow us to do anything with it even if we wanted to though.'
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the thing that peeves me about the sperm donor plot is that 'donor not dad' so Buck isn't closely involved in the kid's life is fine, reasonable even, but Connor and Kameron approach Buck like he's being asked because he's their friend despite the fact Connor and Buck haven't kept up a friendship in years, they lean on him emotionally and practically throughout the process, then dissappear from his life again (to the extent we don't even get a throwaway mention of them) as soon as soon as they've got what they wanted
#If they'd treated it like a stranger donation fine#If they were actually his friends fine#But instead it's so one sided and using him#And Buck accepts it and nobody else challenges it either#Even when they're doing wildly inappropriate shit like turning up at his place of work to ask why he isn't meeting their time requirements#Weirdly I think the thing I'd like to see to wrap this#Is Connor and Cameron decide their baby should have a sibling and it would be best to use the same donor#And Buck has to decide if he wants to do all of that again#And faces up to the fact he wanted to help them and maybe he still does want to help them#But that the onesided friendship dynamic was not OK#my stuff#evan buckley#connor 911#Kameron 911#(and yes i know it's the kind of show where we get these sorts of throwaway characters who don't get a mention once their storyline is done#and we shouldn't read into that#but given that 'used for parts' and 'struggles with healthy interpersonal relationships'#are recurring themes for Buck#i don't want to ignore when the show accidentally stumbles into that theme again)
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feeling a lot like ichika in that one 4koma rn
#all my friends are good at something and im. not#c is good at talking to people and m is an amazing artist and s is also good at art AND incredibly funny and creative#and k and l are both really good at being encouraging and kind and c is really smart and t always knows what to sag#*say#and w is really wise and good at giving advice and m always gives her best no matter the circumstances#and z is funny and good at staying positive#and h is good at analyzing things and m is so passionate about what he likes and a is so supportive and sweet#and m is such an amazing person to be around and l is silly but smart at the same time#and k y and t are all completely fluent in two separate languages AND they're all such amazing and creative people#and meanwhile im just sort of. here. not particularly good at anything.#not particularly talented nor do i have any specific good trait that sticks out about me#idk i don't feel like i deserve to be friends with them
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i like how barton went from being like... a hippie in terms of how he viewed sex in his early twenties, then kind of abstained from it for a few years / became sexually repressed, which... definitely isn't such a good thing. BUT then he became even more of a freak (and i do mean that in the good way this time LOL) around the time he started residency because WOW is that shit stressful. though that was also unfortunately around the time when he really started to spiral as well 😬 but we don't need to talk about that ahahhh
like the way this man learned how to express his sexuality REALLY came full circle in the end considering he was like 'yeah, back in the early days that i was in college, i was a freak. but now i'm not anymore... though do you want to see me do it again anyway?' like 💀 JSJSJ if he weren't so demented, i'd almost be inclined to say good for him, y'all LMAO feeling comfortable with your sexuality and perhaps even having a bit of fun with it (though maybe too much in barton's case, because he literally weaponizes it in order to lure in his victims. BUT once again, we don't need to talk about that right now psshhh. i actually fully intend on talking about that in the tags NGL) is more often than not a good thing after all
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#nah but although i haven't really mentioned this before... when i first developed barton he had ALWAYS been kind of sexually repressed-#because he was sort of brought up by wesley to believe that it was one of those 'taboo' topics to the point where he had to get the talk-#from winslow and i'm not gonna lie i kind of find that WILD now LMAO because i mean like i said here a big part of how barton lures-#people in to eventually become his victims is through flirting with them and going on dates with them.#so like whenever i think about it now it didn't really make sense for barton to view sex as this 'hush-hush' topic bc he quite literally-#uses his sexuality to his advantage as i said here / weaponizes it. though expressing your sexuality isn't bad in and of itself OFC#the way in which he goes about doing it personally is just. Wellll not so good for lack of better words JSJSJ because barton is-#a serial killer whom has actually been sensationalized in the news (bc y'all know how terrible the news is when it comes to this stuff)-#into being called the 'heartbreak killer' because barton manipulates people and basically says exactly what they want to hear as well-#as makes himself as physically attractive as possible to voluntarily get his victims to come with him which is. yeahhh YIKES#but i can imagine that as soon as the news found out for the first time that his victim had last been reported to be going on a date-#with someone that they latched onto that and made it into a story that lacks the seriousness that something like that should-#always be treated with TBH because although they are just characters whenever it comes to the scope of their world they aren't and-#are living people so??? it's TOTALLY wack to be exploiting people like that to get views especially in a place like gotham where-#there's already enough craziness as it is without giving a serial killer a name that basically equates the murders to 'heartbreaks'-#which are definitely not on the same level at ALL but anyhow. i'm rambling now SKSKS#this isn't to say that barton always uses his sexuality to fulfill bad objectives bc like i said it isn't bad in and of itself -#though the fact that he does says something about him as a person since it's a rather sensitive thing for a lot of people you know?#and making people feel like they're wanted? when in actuality you just?? want to kill them??? it is severely messed up so yeahhh#tw: manipulation#tw: sex mention#tw: barton just being an asshole tbh
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i have to wonder what super hardcore militant vegans think should be done about obligate carnivore animals, because in all my painfully-rapidly-approaching-30-years i've literally never actually seen anyone give a clear consistent much less halfway feasible answer on that
#mostly i've just seen like “how dare you ask questions you just want an excuse to murder you're sealioning ect”#or worse some vague and wildly improbable nonsense about like. fake robot animals covered in beyond meat or something equally convoluted#which is a thing i did see someone suggest as a serious answer#i mean i already know they think i'm a genetically inferior hateful vampire that should starve to death for the greater good#because my exact combination of health conditions make meat basically the only semi-safe way i can get close to enough nutrients#i know this because they have repeatedly told me that i'm either evil or should be sacrificed or both#and yelled at me for asking questions by bringing up the whole disabled thing and then they're like#“a lot of vegans i know are advocates for disability!” as if that ever means jack shit in the society that results from anything#no matter what you do a vast majority of people in any given society will *not* be advocates for the disabled. i'm sorry they just won't.#and what do you think public perception of people who physically can't survive like that is going to skew towards#in a society founded on the belief that non-vegan diets are evil?#at absolute best we're looking at being a heavily marginalized class generally seen as something like vampires and our existences taboo.#(as if these type's own insistence that they should be allowed to harass and shame people doesn't disprove their assertion that we won't be#thinking it could possibly go any better than that is a fucking fairy tale. human nature doesn't work that way.#you simply cannot eliminate the human desire to designate and abuse a class of have-nots. the absolute best you can do is mitigate damage.#take it from someone who's been multiple kinds of disabled and chronically ill all my life. people will not “just”. ever.#i get this even from people who are otherwise very aware of and VERY GOOD at avoiding this sort of thinking#“i'm a disability advocate!” no you are not. you are a poster. my experience has taught me that what people advocate for in their free time#means precisely jack shit for how they will actually act when faced with the situations they make otherwise rational posts about#and the fact of the matter is even if you somehow really are the perfect disability advocate a majority of people WILL NOT BE YOU.#a majority of people in society will be margrat from accounting who clutches her pearls when she sees the gays and thinks autism isnt real#and who has never had a nuanced thought in her life and actively does not want to#a vast majority of people in your Vegan Utopia will not be you and your friends who march with wheelchair users and volunteer at the shelte#a vast majority of people in your Vegan Utopia will be jenny who starved 8 cats to death on broccoli because she can't be bothered#and who thinks that “carnivores” are actual nazis and don't deserve healthcare because she saw someone say that online.#ALWAYS assume your society will be made up mostly of the worst kind of person it can because it WILL ALWAYS BE TRUE and you can't change it#most people seek the low-effort option. and evil is most often banal and low-effort.#i'm just so fucking tired of every single even vaguely lefty-adjacent political movement simultaneously acting like i don't fucking exist#and at the same time that i need to be sacrificed to achieve Utopia. god. at least conservative whackjobs are upfront and honest about#how they think that i'm a burden on society that needs to be Eugenics'd . rather than trying to morally gaslight me about it.
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why is it okay for other people to point out canon things about will and how he's perceived in hawkins as well as the differences between him and the other boys on the show etc etc and everyone claps and cheers and agrees with them publicly now, but when i do it i'm told that i'm trying to turn will into a girl, that i'm rude, that i'm homophobic, get accused of killing people's grandmothers, and get vagued, etc etc. like i know why but Why . . ....
#i don't read Those old will posts of mine bc it makes me think of the anons i would get and continued to get every time i would#mention the gnc will stuff or even how mike canonically behaves and is written etc.#and it's jus like . this fandom rly does only agree with something if and only if it comes from someone they actually like LMAO#someone they perceive to be an asshole for whatever reason can say the sky is blue and ppl would come out of nowhere saying all sorts of#crazy ass shit and telling them they're seeing things jus bc they don't like them. meanwhile someone else will say the sky is blue#a little while later and those same ppl go OMGGGGGGG REAL!!!!!! WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!! bc they like those ppl.#as if they didn't jus call someone every kind of bigot ever two seconds ago for the very same thing.#it is just...... Annoying 🫶
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currently thinking about how, since bunny mask's head / sort of by extension her neck ( yeahhh, i'd say that, because she is NOT immune to decapitation ) are basically her achilles heel in the way that they heal muchhh slower than the rest of her body does + there have even been times where she didn't heal properly at all in those areas... that most of the scars bunny has are concentrated around there.
thus, if your muse is intimate with her in any way, then they'll most certainly be seeing those on her skin and i just 😭 it kind of hits me RIGHT in the feels — and i say this because there has to be a lot of trust there for bunny to feel safe enough to expose what is literally the most vulnerable spot of her body to them, you know? so yeah. that is one surefire way of knowing that bunny mask trusts your muse with her life ❤️
#SOMETHING FEELS AMISS: musings.#LET ME TEACH YOU: headcanons.#I AM HERE BECAUSE I AM BUNNY MASK: headcanons.#yeah... i know this is the first real headcanon i've posted about bunny in a while SO i wanted to make it sort of angsty as well as sweet-#because y'all deserve more of that kind of content IMO haha (': but anywhozies this just sort of came to me a little bit ago because-#i was thinking about the deeper implications behind bunny having a relationship with tyler with her having a 'weak spot' there-#and her not altogether distrusting the entirety of humanity BUT also trying not to get her hopes up all of the time that people will do-#the right thing if that makes any sense just because people can be so... full of darkness.#but i think that bunny had latched onto tyler rather quickly due to the fact that she quite literally had NO one else in her life when she-#was set free and well... she had been deprived of human interaction for literally millennia + because bunny feeds by sharing energy with-#humans through a physical connection i think her attraction to him might've been partially attributed to her needing-#to take care of herself in this way you know? but bunny also just genuinely likes tyler and he seems to genuinely like her as well-#but the problem with tyler is that he can't fully accept bunny mask as she is no matter how hard he tries unfortunately.#and thus that's why they're kind of in this odd spot of being 'on-and-off' lovers but bunny would literally KILL for the man NGL#anyhow though i'm just thinking about the possibility that these scars on her head / neck are sensitive as well because that part of her-#body sees so little 'human touch' i guess you could say due to her protecting it and bunny just. maybeee experiencing-#something that could be the equivalent to sensory overload bc of that if her partner were to touch them but not quite-#at the same time#tw: scars#tw: mentions of past injuries.
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Today's Video Haul!
1) I already own the boxset version of PMMM vol. 3, so finding these used was a God send.
2) I have been looking for a used copy of Portrait of a Lady at this store for SEVEN YEARS. Another God send!
3) Lucky Star was new, and I'm not sorry.
4) When I was really young, my best friend had a VHS copy of this specific Peter Pan musical, and we would watch it all the time, and we would try to pull off the dance that Tiger Lily and her friends do - they lean SO FAR without falling! - so finding a DVD copy still there and able to get it for free because buy 2 used get 1 free? Another God send!
ALL IN ALL, A VERY GOOD HAUL.
THANKS, GOD!
#musings#bandit#i actually started looking for portrait of a lady back when i was collecting all of nicole kidman's movies#i've since stopped doing that and actually have gotten rid of most of them#BUT NICOLE KIDMAN AND BARBARA HERSHEY#AND I KEPT LOOKING AND IT WAS FINALLY THERE#the madoka dvds were also kind of like that but like#the sort of thing you KNOW they'll never have#because those don't get sold in stores and no one's going to return them#AND THEN THEY HAD ALL THREE VOLUMES LAST WEEK#and i was like wait for the sale and if they're still there they're supposed to be mine#AND THEY WERE#although i feel bad separating these two from the third one#because someone could have gotten all three for that same sale!#but#maybe someone else only needs or wants the third one?#and i only bought the third one in the boxset when it came out because back then#they were striking down all sagitta luminis on youtube#and i literally bought it for that soundtrack#(also i hoped it would have and i'm home but it didn't)#ANYWAY#too much bandit info#but my haul!!
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i'm like if the most emotionally expressive and volatile person you've ever had the misfortune of meeting never said a single fucking word ever to the point that people thought she's normal and just "mildly offputting"
#see the hilarious thing is. i love big#i love hard. a natural byproduct of that is that i also hate fucking hard; and i get angry bad#like i have no shame whatsoever around this it's just who i am. the love and adoration and warmth#comes from the very same place that holds the hatred and the anger. this entire thing is my humanity#But most people want the love; not the hatred. I know how to love real good and it's for the exact same reasons i know how to hate.#and i dont want to be that. I hold no shame over my negative emotions but they're not comfortable states for me anywayyyy#so i prefer not to go there. But i have been needing to and avoiding that is causing me to lose touch with the love and warmth i hold too#i'm losing my kindness because i dont allow myself to come out and say ''actually; you disgust me.''#¯\_(ツ)_/¯ my bad. I miss my loving self but in order to get there the ''i need to hurt you and you need to get the fuck out of my space''#has to be sorted
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