#they're just my silly little old married couple

[golden28s]

something about this feels like a married couple that has been together for 20 years and adore and love each other to death but one of them is always complaining about something and the other listens and nods

[alice-after-dark]

Thinking About RadioStatic and the OG Alastor Squad...

(for ref, that's Vox, Rosie, Husk, Niffty, and Mimzy) and this silly thought came to my mind.

So you've heard of "Vox thinks him and Alastor are dating, but they're not."

Well, I raise you "everyone thinks Alastor and Vox are dating EXCEPT Alastor and Vox."

Alastor is a fairly distant type of friend. Shows up when he wants attention and leaves when he's satisfied. Will absolutely kill someone for you though if you make it to his inner circle. That's the type for friend Alastor is.

And then you have Vox who is practically attached to his hip.

Rosie definitely notices something is off first. She literally never runs into them separate. If one is around, it means the other isn't far. On top of that, Alastor has very few male friends (Husk. It's literally just Husk) and he definitely spends way less time with them than he does his female friends. Except Vox. Vox who has not only been to Alastor's home (she deduces this when Alastor recount a particularly funny story where Vox humiliated himself), but has been in his radio tower. She hasn't even been in his radio tower!

Next is the fact that they bicker like an old married couple, with Vox being one of the few people (the only other person being Rosie) who can tell when Alastor is being bullshit and can actually get away with calling him on it. She's even seen him apologize to the picture box! Well...apologize as much as Alastor does anyways (which means to say he doesn't actually admit to any wrongdoing, but will go out of his way to do something for you to make up for it). And they always seem to know what the other is thinking, like some silent language that only they know.

Alastor always drags him onto the floor for a dance or six. His main partner used to be Mimzy, but now more often than not Rosie and Mimzy are left to chat while Alastor leads Vox around the dancefloor to one song after another, holding the other Sinner close.

That's just one more thing. Alastor lets Vox touch him in ways Rosie has rarely seen. She's seen the TV demon full on hug the deer, completely lost in his excitement over something or another, and Alastor just...smile so fondly. No shadows hurling Vox into the nearest wall, no smacking him with his cane. Just...smiling at him like he is the most endearing thing in the world.

So one night, when they're all a little tipsy and nestled in their usual booth at the bar, Rosie leans in, chin on her palms. "So...when were you going to tell us?"

Alastor and Vox blink at her, then at each other, then back to her. Vox is the first to speak.

"Uh...tell you about what exactly?"

"Oh sweetie, don't be coy with me! Now come on! I want details!"

Alastor speaks next.

"The project perhaps? I do believe we've kept you fairly informed..."

Rosie pouts. "Oh you're both terrible! So were you just never going to tell us you're dating?"

Alastor spits out his drink. Vox glitches.

"WE'RE WHAT?!"

(Yes, they both 100% have feelings for each other. No, they were never planning to act on them. Yes, they are both absolute shit at hiding them.)

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Fu-Schnickens

Picks and Shovels is a new, standalone technothriller starring Marty Hench, my two-fisted, hard-fighting, tech-scam-busting forensic accountant. You can pre-order it on my latest Kickstarter, which features a brilliant audiobook read by Wil Wheaton.

I can't remember where I first heard dancehall reggae, but I do remember where I bought most of my dancehall cassettes: at Play De Record, a great hip hop/reggae DJ store on Yonge Street in Toronto whose bins were all killer, no filler. I'd go into the store every couple weeks and more or less pick three albums at random and love every one of 'em. I just discovered that PDR is still in business, which makes me extremely happy:

https://www.playderecord.com/

Look, I know that mostly I use this blog to talk about tech politics, monopoly, impending fascism and the climate emergency, with the odd science fiction review. But all that other stuff (modulo the sf novels) are weighing on my heavily this week, and I feel like posting something a little more lighthearted. So I consulted my editor (me), who called a special meeting of the editorial board (also me), who kicked it up to the publisher (still me), and they all agreed that I could write a post about a weird hip-hop album that's been earworming me in the best way imaginable since 1992.

I'm pretty sure I bought Fu-Schnickens' debut album "F.U. Don't Take It Personal" at Play De Record. Certainly, I have a memory of stopping on the sidewalk outside of the store to wrestle the cellophane off the cassette and pop it into my walkman. I definitely remember my first walk through the city with the music in my ears. I laughed aloud. Several times. I might have even danced a little:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2wD7FbIzGI&list=PLJw–ySHyZNwsmLcxfW3NWTyxQX7mARas

At the time, I knew nothing about Fu-Shnickens. In the years since, I have listened to F.U. Don't Take It Personal approximately one heptillion times and somehow managed not to learn anything about Fu-Schnickens. Today, I read their all-too-short Wikipedia article and learned that the group was together between 1988 and 1995, that their second album (which I remember not being as impressed with) had a top-40 novelty track with vocals by Shaquille O'Neal, who said the Schnickens were his favorite hiphop group:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fu-Schnickens

I get it, Shaq. They're great. First of all, they're incredibly silly. Long before Wu-Tang Clan, they were doing this weird kung-fu movie schtick in their songs (which, admittedly, walks an uncomfortable line between "parodies of racist depictions of Chinese people in the movies" to "racist parodies of Chinese people in the style of those movies"). Their songs are jammed with pop culture references in a way that puts, say, Paul's Boutique to shame. You can get a sense of this by looking at the lyrics transcribed over at Genius (where they are criminally under-annotated):

https://genius.com/artists/Fu-schnickens

Take "La Schmoove," a song that references "The Jeffersons," "Leave It To Beaver," "Superfly," Honey-Nut Cheerios, Popeye, Elmer's Glue, Elmer Fudd, Pippi Longstockings, "Married With Children," "Three's Company," "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang," "Do-Wah-Diddy," the board game Battleship, and Pepe Le Pew. It features rhymes like "we in there like swimwear," "Adios muchachos dorme vous unbuckle my Fu-Schnick shoe," and "Yo zilch kaput me nada none son." It's legit bonkers.

But also: they're really good. The frontman, Chip Fu (Roderick Roachford) raps really fast, has amazing flow, and periodically just starts rapping backwards, like literally saying the same syllables he just said, but backwards, with that same amazing flow. They are steeped in old dancehall, and it shines through (they more-or-less single-handedly revived Tenor Saw's now-familiar "Ring the Alarm").

Many of their songs feature a kind of hiphopified Phil Spector wall of sound, a kind of melodic drone that underlays the beats and lyrics. As soon as I hear that drone, I start smiling, because I know what's coming.

I have been earwormed by these tracks for this entire century and much of the past century. It's always really hard to explain why you like something, but I think that Fu-Schnickens' pop culture stream of consciousness and nonsense syllables are a kind of rhythmic version of my own internal monologue, which is a kind of endless babble of fragments of books, music, movies and TV; dumb jokes; words repeated until they lose all meaning and become meaningless phonemes, all kind of splinters of ideas and words floating around, bumping into each other.

There's lots of dancehall and dancehall-adjacent stuff that's arguably better than this album, like "The Good The Bad The Ugly & The Crazy," the amazing and underappreciated collaboration between Necka Demus, Junior Demus and Super Cat:

https://www.discogs.com/master/158493-Super-Cat-2-Junior-Cat-Junior-Demus-Nicodemus-The-GoodBadUgly-The-Crazy

And I could listen to Shaggy's cover of "Oh Carolina" all day:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtLqmWt2h2g

Or Apache Indian's "Boom Shack-A-Lak":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZzBd41NuZw

Or even better, "Ragamuffin Girl":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGhrpajNtKk

But none of music is on continuous shuffle-play in the back of my brain the way "F.U. Don't Take It Personal" is and has been since the Clinton administration:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2wD7FbIzGI&list=PLJw–ySHyZNwsmLcxfW3NWTyxQX7mARas

What's more, this is one of the very few (non-Talking Heads, non-David Byrne) albums that my daughter and I like listening to together in the car. It's so perfectly silly, virtuosic, funny, and danceable. Still as good as it was when I was young and had the hips I was born with. I've owned it on cassette and CD and as MP3s. I somehow own the vinyl (though I have no turntable).

I'm grateful to the management of this publication for the opportunity to share it with you.

Check out my Kickstarter to pre-order copies of my next novel, Picks and Shovels!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/01/17/holy-batfu-its-an-apple/#ba-schnicker-bah-snchnucker

[calamaroo]

PETE "THE PIRATE PARROT" RACKHAM (AS A HUMAN‼️)

+ headcanons for him (and a little Calico Jack) !!

AAAAAAAAA, I LOVE PETE SO MUCH, HE'S LITERALLY JUST A BIRD THAT WILL OCCASIONALLY SPEAK, AND I THINK ABOUT HIM ALL THE TIME

==================

Screenshots!!

( @mooshie-blue little Barnacles just for you 🫶)

==================

Headcanons!! (Warning, it's long)

Amazonian Blue-and-Yellow Macaw !!

<- Pete met Calico Jack when he shipwrecked in the Amazon, and his sqwuaking alerted Jack to a nearby anaconda (This is nowhere near canon, but idc, it's MY au)

Pete is a VERY protective parrot (the terms "macaw" and "parrot" are interchangeable for him). When meeting strangers, he is perhaps even more wary than the already cautious Jack. When someone tries to shake Jack's hand, he will rush down Jack's arm to bite them. Jack begged for him to stop doing this to the other Octoagents, but he doesn't stop. He openly loves being a menace. (Pete bit both Marsh and Natquik on their first meetings).

<- Since he is extremely wary of strangers, there are VERY few he will allow touch, pet, or hold him.

People that can :

• Jack (he could literally throw Pete, and he'd let him. Of course, he'd bite a chunk out of Jack's face afterward, but they love each other.)

• Kwazii is on nearly the same level as Jack. However, when Pete just wants to be left alone, he'll make it known to Kwazii (usually by screaming at him).

• Ranger Marsh and Prof. Natquik can pet him, and on rare occasions, hold and feed him.

• On even rarer occasions, he will let Barnacles and Peso handle him. But only if they have to.

===========

For personality, he's a lot like Jack (quiet and shy but well-meaning), both naturally and just because he has picked up on Jack's mannerisms. This bird, much like his human companion, has zero table manners.

Usually mild mannered like Jack, although a bit more mischievous --- however, he can be VERY grumpy when upset. And he's not afraid to bite Jack to get what he wants. They can argue like an old married couple for hours, and anyone around just has to deal with it. (Several of Kwazii's visits to their ship have consisted of him watching the two have a screaming match before laughing it off)

He has his very own personal pile of pillows in Jack's bed, which he defends ferociously, but more often than not, they just end up cuddling.

Emotional support bird TM. He has heard everything there is to hear about Jack, some things Jack wouldn't even dare to tell another human being. He's like a little therapist, listening to every vent Jack has ever let slip and acting accordingly. [[HE IS AN EERILY SMART BIRD, AND JACK HAS NEVER BEEN CERTAIN IF HE IS A SHIFTER OR NOT]]

<- extremely cuddly to Jack, and uses this as a way to cheer him up because it always works. He knows what to say and what not to say, and Jack always finds comfort in his bird. ♡♡♡♡

==================

I love these silly little pirates more than anything - they're so stupid <3

[mariclerc]

Predestined (pt.2) | cl16

Summary: Where you have had mixed feelings for years with your brother's best friend... And finally those feelings see the light.

Warning: some swearing, aggressive mother, mentions of physical assault towards y/n (not Charles), fluff as usual and Charles being a sweetheart like always.

a/n: here we have part 2!! Let me know if you like it and if you want another part of this!!

Part 1

ynusername

liked by lilymhe, yourbff, landonorris and others.

ynusername pookie and i against the world 4eva and eva!!🧸🎀✨ and yupp, i like to put cute pink bows on his clothes it makes him look so adorable 🥺🎀

tagged charles_leclerc

see 53.765 comments

user1 hm... THE SECOND PIC 👀🫣 girl can you explain??!?

georgerussell63 I never thought I would see Charles' pen*s with a pink bow on Instagram, but here we are

ynusername In fact 😀☝🏻 It's not his pen*s, it's his pants with a cute pink bow 😋 I think carmenmmundt should try that on you tbh, just saying 👀👀

carmenmmundt omw 🫡

yourbff a cat mug i see there

ynusername i love cats and i'm now a cat mama, you know the drill

yourbff I'm sorry... A cat mom you said!?!?!?!? 👀

ynusername surprise‼️‼️✨✨✨

lucayln stop being so horny with my best friend, thank you

ynusername nope 😋 we're here to stay horny 24/7 sir

charles_leclerc only if we could stay horny 24/7 hours a day 😩 that would be a blast

user2 CHARLES????? 🫣👀👀👀

user3 Charles has bde?

ynusername maybe 😋🥰

charles_leclerc i love you pookie 🥰💗 that pink bow looked good the whole day in my pants 🎀

ynusername i love you too much much kisses for my boy😘 💋💋 you looked so coquette and cute babyyy 🥺🎀💗

ynusername I TOLD YOU‼️‼️ georgerussell63

charles_leclerc

liked by lorenzotl, olliebearman, alex_albon and others.

charles_leclerc my little girl always wants hugs on my lap 'cause she says it feels warm there🤍 by the way, let's welcome minnie leclerc to the family 🐈🫶🏻

tagged ynusername

see 864.243 comments

landonorris congrats bro 🫂

charles_leclerc thanks bro 🤝🏻 I appreciate it

user4 omg they're so cute and adorable 🥺🥺

user5 they scream old money/cuteness couple and I'm here for it🥺😭

lucayln excuse me? That second pic it's not appropriate‼️‼️

ynusername it's just my back dumbass 🙄😒 how annoying you are

charles_leclerc why not? She so looks cute reading 🥰🥰

lucayln and why "minnie leclerc", you guys are not married.

ynusername shh 🤫😉

user1 he's so lovey dovey with yn 🥺🥺 we love to see a happy Charles 🫶🏻

user6 oh good minnie leclerc 🥺��� that's so sweet and adorable

arthur_leclerc I thought you were more of a dog person... 🤔

charles_leclerc yeah... people change bro

ynusername i'm the changee 😋😋😋

maxverstappen1 so Jimmy and Sassy now have a little playmate

ynusername yup sir

ynusername so... you say i'm your little girl? 🥺🥺🎀

charles_leclerc yes baby, you are my little girl... such a princess, so pretty 🥹🥹 it's the two of us against everyone, kay? 💗💗

“A cat? Did you seriously adopted a cat?” Your mother asked when she saw you with little minnie in your arms.

You nodded and smiled. “Yep! Well, Charles and I thought about moving together to his place and taking care of...” You didn't even finish talking because your mother slammed the table, making you flinch.

“It's incredible that you are so childish... Moving in together? Please, you are just studying in uni and he is traveling around the world, that shit only happens in fairy tales and movies y/n.” your mother said in a sarcastic voice.

Things with Charles are going very well, quite well, you have been together for almost four months and everything has been wonderful, the distance has not been an impediment for you... Although your mother, who at first were very happy for the two of you, lately she don't agree with the idea of you moving in with Charles, the trust between the two of you is already there for years and it's silly that she don't like their relationship now just because he constantly travels to the races.

“But mom... I love him very much and he loves me! I don't understand what the problem is with us moving in together.” You whispered while petting minnie and that apparently made her even angrier.

“You are very innocent and stupid! Do you really think he's not going to get someone better than you? Please, if you don't even have experience in couples or dating stuff.” she said and you felt your heart break little by little. “You're not even pretty enough to be with someone like him, please, there are more prettier girls out there than you.”

Your mother has always had a facade in front of everyone, that facade of "I have the perfect family", but not everything is like that. Luca is applauded and glorified for having decided to be a driver, while she humiliate you because you didn't want to study economics, that never really caught your attention, so you decided to study literature and appreciate life from a more poetic point of view if you could say that. For your mother you were always the black sheep of the family, the disappointment and the dreamy girl, always imagining impossible things.

“I'm not... I'm not stupid.” you whispered timidly. “I... I don't understand... I just...” You whispered again, feeling like you were losing your voice in the process.

“And there you are again, babbling, like a baby” She said approaching you as if you were a prey. “And what will you do? Call your prince charming to save you? You know that's a bullshit.”

And sooner than expected, a punch hit your face, and then another and another, minnie began to meow and climb your leg while you did your best to stay upright. You had never seen your mother be so aggressive with you, never, she only hit you a few times but when you were younger and you didn't want to do chores, but this? It was already another level, it was like she was letting out all the frustration she feels with you. And the worst thing about it? It's just that not even your father or Luca were at home to defend you from her.

You tried to talk while you whimper. “Please... stop hurting me.” you begged, but she didn't stop, so with the little strength and endurance you had left you let go. “Stop fucking hurting me, I'm not your damned personal punch bag!” You screamed at her with the guts you never thought you had inside of you and then you ran with minnie in your arms to your bedroom and locked the door.

That was the straw that broke the camel's back, with blurred vision you collected some essential things in a bag, the decision was made, you were going to move in with Charles whether she likes it or not. With trembling hands you took your cell phone and you dialed Charles's number.

“Babe? Is everything okay?” he spoke on the other line and a sob left your lips. “Honey, why are you crying?”

“Bubba, could you... Could you... Could you look for me and minnie at home, please? I do not want to be here.” you said in a small whisper.

“It's okay honey, did something happen with your mom?” he said in a calm voice. “I'll put you on speakerphone, I'm with Luca, okay?”

You sigh. “Mom... she almost... hit.” you said with a broken voice and that was enough for them to understand.

“Don't worry bubbles, we're on our way. I'll deal with her.” You heard Luca say as he took Charles' cell phone.

You hung up and sighed, you didn't want to look in the mirror, you probably had something broken in your face, or a broken bone in your nose, a bleeding nose or something like that. You also collected minnie's things and some of your plushies, you were still a young woman with a little girl's soul.

***

The ride to Charles's —now your, apartment was a bit difficult, after the encounter between your mother and Luca, he yelled at her while she pretended to be innocent, she had never been like that to you. While Luca confronted your mother, Charles helped you collect more of your things and put them in suitcases, there were also some things left but they were not so necessary.

When you went up the elevator to the apartment you felt a sensation of perhaps peace and calm... You don't know how to decipher it exactly, but it's like a kind of release and maybe a new beginning.

“Welcome home princess.” Charles said with his soft voice opening the door to the apartment, it was a fairly spacious and minimalist place, you didn't remember it like that since a year ago you and Luca spent a lot of time here in the afternoons doing anything silly the three of you, like the old times.

It had windows that illuminated the space, a lot of F1 memorabilia, trophies and family photos and of the three of you as children. It felt cozy, maybe it was the sunlight coming through the window, the presence of minnie nestled in your arms, or the presence of Charles himself, but it felt like a cozy and comfy space where you will not be judged. You left Minnie on the floor and she began to walk around the place with big eyes.

“Charles... I do not know how...” you said between babbling and he just smiled softly.

“You don't have to thank me or anything chérie. It is the least I can do for you.” he kissed the tip of your nose softly. “What do you think we go to heal that ugly bump, you can change into comfy clothes and then we take care of unpacking, okay?” He asked and you nodded, he guided you through the apartment until you both reached the room, which will be your room.

He started looking for some things to heal the wounds left by your mother's punches, you sat on the bed and he began to heal your wounds with some alcohol and ointments, he healed your wounds with such care and delicacy.

“Ouch... By chance do I have a broken nose or something like that?” you asked.

He denied several times. “Nope darling, just a couple of hits that now turn a little bit purple... But it will heal soon love, don't worry.” He whispered and looked for a band-aid to put on the bumps. “For now we will put this nice and cute pink band-aid on and that is enough!” He whispered again and gave you a kiss on the nose.

“Thank you Charlie” you whispered shyly and he smiled softly.

“It's nothing honey, now why don't you get comfortable and take a shower?” He said softly as he gave you a hug and caressed your back.

“Okay babe.” you say softly and separate yourself from his embrace to go to the bathroom and take a shower... which is necessary after all that emotional and physical exhaustion on the part of your mother.

When you entered the bathroom you let everything flow; the emotions, the frustration and also the peace that not being there again gives you... Now being with Charles in his apartment was a change that was going to happen sooner or later for whatever reasons, what happened with your mother today was the time bomb that was needed to explode to finally make that decision.

***

“Hey, there you are, sweet candy!” Charles said with a soft voice and a smile on his face when he saw you enter the living room in sweatpants and one of his big t-shirts, apparently he had already arranged Minnie's things in the living room... To be honest it looked like a small playground with all the cat toys and cat trees scattered around, but you didn't care at all, it gave the place some personality. “I made you some tea! Maybe it will help you calm down, It's a red fruit tea, it's delicious!” He said and you couldn't help but let out a shy giggle as you blushed a little, he had these little gestures towards you that made your heart bigger little by little.

You smiled a little. “Have you already tried it charlie bear?” you asked while giggling.

“Well... Yes, I made some for myself too! It's very good, and I don't know, it reminded me of you.” he giggled. “Remember that time we went to the cat cafe and you found out they had tea?”

You nodded with a smile. “Yeah... That's where we tried this tea and we discovered that we wanted a cat.” You took a small sip trying not to burn yourself and you felt the heat of the liquid expand inside your body. “The difference is that the one in that cafe was not that hot.” you said looking at him with a serious face and he muttered a "sorry ma chérie" while smiling (my darling). “And the other thing is that... That tea might have had a little cat hair, but we'll ignore that.” You said and he laughed, you also laughed along with him as Minnie approached you to climb onto your lap.

Both of you continued sipping your teas while talking about anything, with Charles you could talk about any topic at all and you were never going to get bored, there was always something interesting to talk about. Suddenly he cleared his throat, assuming that here comes the important question of the day.

“Honey bear... What happened with your mother today?” he asked in a sweet voice.

You sighed heavily. “Well... She just asked me if we had actually adopted Minnie and then I told her that we wanted to move in together and well... She exploded, I guess, maybe she had a lot of anger built up towards me and well, it was her time to explode.” you said ironically. “But hey, I guess that's life after all, right?” You whispered and shrugged.

He remained silent listening to you until he then spoke. “Oh honey... She shouldn't have reacted that way and, if you look at it, it was a harmless thing, you were just making a comment.” He whispered as he brushed a strand of hair out of your face and brought you closer to his body.

“I know but... She just got angry and well, she had never hit me before.” You whispered against his chest. “And she also said things about... About us.”

He frowned worriedly. “What kind of things did she say amore?” he asked.

“Well, she said... She said I'm not pretty enough to be with you.” You paused briefly. “And that you wouldn't hesitate to get someone else and... She made me feel really bad about myself, you know?” you whispered and he held you even closer.

He snapped his tongue. “You do know she's wrong, right?” He asked and you nodded. “Perfect then... Because I want you to know that you are the most beautiful girl, okay? It doesn't matter if I repeat it to you every day or how many times, I just want you to know it.” He said and gave you a kiss on the cheek, then one on the tip of your nose, then another on your jaw and so on.

You gave a small giggle. “Charlie stop” you giggled again. “your stubble gives me tickles!” You say, breathless from laughing so much. “Okay no problem. I don't mind you telling me I'm pretty all the time, I actually appreciate it.”

He smiled when he heard your words and gave you several kisses on your lips, you felt your heart flutter at his sweet and cute action towards you, you let out a few giggles. You two smiled in the middle of the kiss, it was something so genuine and precious that it was practically impossible to describe. Minnie meowed into your lap and you moved a little away from Charles with a smile on your face.

“Apparently someone wants some attention.” you said smiling and he giggled. “I think we should share our love, don't you think?” you said giggling and he nodded.

“But of course, the little one in the house requires a lot of attention.” He said teasing you a little bit.

You acted offended. “I thought I was the little one in the house!” You put a hand on your chest. “I'm just kidding love, obviously Minnie is the little one here.”

He nodded as he stroked Minnie's fur. “You both are, you are my princesses.” He said and placed a kiss on your cheek, making you blush.

Maybe not everything is perfect or rosy all the time, maybe the problems with your mother will not be solved overnight, but with him and minnie, in some way, it's enough for you and it's going to be okay in the long run.

ynusername posted a story

caption 1: I think they found the perfect place to lay their head 🤷🏻‍♀️

caption 2: my safe and comfy place is with them around ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

tagged charles_leclerc

lucayln I finally have signs of life from you!!

ynusername Dumbass, I wrote you a message yesterday and you left me on read‼️‼️

lucayln i'm just joking bubbles! I'm glad you're okay and safe

yourbff When can I meet my niece? 🥺

ynusername come whenever you want to visit us <3 our apartment is always open 🫶🏻🫶🏻

yourbff wdym "our"⁉️⁉️⁉️

ynusername hehe 😋😋☝🏻

charles_leclerc i love you babes, you make me so so happy and fluffy inside 🥺🥺💗

ynusername oh my babyyyyyy 🥺🥺🥺, you make me happy too, thank you so much for giving me your unconditionally love 💗💗 and minnie says she loves you too (she said "meow" but you get it)

charles_leclerc i get it baby, don't worry 😋 you're the cutest girl ever 💗💗🥺

[hazbinhappy]

Hi! First of all, happy spring break! I hope you enjoy your time off! ♡

I love Husk so much, he needs love to heal his dead heart 💔 so maybe femreader who's at the hotel with everyone and he finds himself catching feelings. And it terrifies the hell outta him. He hasn't felt anything like it in so so long, maybe nothing ever this strong. He has no idea what to do about it but the longer he's around her, it becomes more and more difficult to keep his feelings to himself. (If you like angst, maybe he pushes her away at first and she's hurt by it and it leads to a blow up which ends in his confession.)

Aaaand an idea for Overlord!Husk. We still don't know much about that part of his story, but let's say one of the souls he owns is readers. How he got her soul can be up to you. He starts to develop real feelings for her but she doesn't think they're genuine since she thinks she's just his "pet"

A/N: I am enjoying my spring break! Just lounging around, playing video games, and drawing! And of course writing and doing matchups! I hope I do these two well! I separated them with separate gifs! I changed up the first one a bit! god i just love overlord husk my man my man my man i went so hard on this for husk actually not being my top favorite (he is a top 3 three) I decided to mix the singer one with this overlord husk due to catching feels and being sweet <3

I feel like he is someone who clocks his feelings quickly or ignores the fuck outta them until he can’t anymore

I think in his past life he may have been married, but divorced because of his alcoholism and gambling addiction

So when he meets you he’s fine in the beginning. You’re just a soul who is trying out this redemption thing. So what?

But then you start to come to the bar more and more often. You don’t even get alcoholic drinks. Just Shirley Temple’s or non-alcoholic versions of drinks.

It confuses him because why come to the bar, silently have a drink, and then leave?

Eventually you start to talk with him, but you’re sober. You’re not drunkenly confessing anything, you’re just making light conversation, maybe a thing or two about your past or current life.

Soon, maybe a couple months, he starts opening up too and enjoys having conversations with you and in fact looks forward to when your freetime matches up so you can talk or even play cards (“What’s on the table?” “It’s just a friendly game of poker, Husk. Nothing more, nothing less.”)

Angel teases him one day about how he’s smiling more and seems to perk up whenever he hears your voice or even the mention of your name

That’s when it really sets into his mind and he starts to think about it.

Unfortunately that soon leads to him becoming avoidant and shut off from conversations leading to the same on your end as well before evolving into you guys simply not talking anymore

This actually upsets Angel and Charlie (moreso Charlie, but Angel decides to take care of it because we all know how Charlie can get a bit too involved in things)

Angel and you have a little heart to heart and Angel just…. He just laughs because it’s funny to him! You two are old souls who used to be married (and divorced) and y’all don’t know how to handle love anymore!

Angel comes up with this big grandiose plan on to confess but you settle on just a simple “smoke break” confession/trapping him on a break

Husk is standing on the balcony for a breather as you slip in behind him. He goes to leave but you purposefully block the door.

It’s a back and forth mini-argument. You planned on confessing first, but then he just blurts it out like a middle schooler admitting his first crush.

It’s a bit silly. This old man just blurts out his feelings as you’re standing there silent.

It’s a sweet moment to though because you give him a hug and cheek kiss (sorry I am a sucker for those I find them adorable) before confessing as well

Thankfully the hotel can run as normal without all the tension

Poor Alastor though he was loving all the misery and sadness coming from you two, mainly from Husk; he provided no real good advice

Did you know that most casinos don’t have clocks or windows so you don’t know how long you’ve been there and keep staying :D

So the only person with a watch is Husk and that is like a hidden pocket watch that he only checks when he gets a drink

I think that reader may have been one of the first souls he got! Or maybe the first he got specifically for the casino. He wanted some entertainment for the place to also keep people coming or staying so that’s what he uses your soul for!

He probably just smooth talked you into it or you made a silly bet and lost so you now have to work for him. So your relationship doesn’t necessarily start bad because you don’t hate him depending on if you choose the losing bet option, but if you choose the tricked option then it doesn’t start off well

Eventually it does get better over the years!

He starts to pay you a bit more and finally allow people to tip you; he doesn’t mind if you gamble because I like to believe that he houses people in an area above the casino so he has another layer of control as well

He tells his workers whether or not it’s daytime if they ask in private; when people know what time it is for your show they’ll be an announcement of like “Show in thirty minutes” so patrons are still in the dark about the actual time

He now doesn’t visit your shows with the idea “Yeah I own them”, but instead “Aren’t they gorgeous and saying a good job, say they’re doing a good job or I’ll fucking cut you-”

 At this particular show you sing “Once Upon a Dream” (a song from your favorite movie as a child Sleeping Beauty came out in 1959) just to change it up from all of the loud game noises and yells in the casino

When you look over at Husk with that sweet smile and look as you walk around, even running your fingers across the back of his chair before doing so to some other people

It makes him feel giddy for some reason even though he wasn’t the only person who you gently touched… but he was the only person who you gave that look to

After your shift ends and you’re in the dressing room grabbing your things, he was leaning on the doorway smoking a cigar

“So, doll, do you look at everyone that way when you sing or just me?”

“Jesus, Husk! Warn a person before you sneak up on them.”

 “Apologies, so?”

“...Well…um…the song-”

“No is a sufficient answer.”

“No… I don’t look at everyone that way when I sing.”

“Mmm, nice to know. Have a good night.”

It’s not necessarily an odd conversation, but it’s not solidified in what you guys feel about each other

It is very flirty between y’all though and it’s known that you are off-limits and your are his

You question it a lot (and so do other people) considering he owns your soul and he specifically made you an entertainment piece at his casino, but he definitely takes you out and lets you have more freedom than the other souls, so your worries aren’t completely squashed, but you feel better

[ink-and-dagger]

Hiii! I want to start by saying that I love your writing and I have re-read Drink With Me roughly 3 times now and it never gets old. However, with me rereading I can’t help but wonder about some silly hypotheticals regarding the story. So…if you don’t mind me asking, could you enlighten me😩🙏🏾😩🙏🏾😩:

1.) How would Silco and Reader (Astrid’s) mother interact? Do you think she would be scared of him? Or would she have him by the hypothetical balls?

1.5) Also branching off of the previous question: what would be the Readers, mother’s reaction to them getting back together?

2.) Could you see Silco and Reader (Astrid) getting married?

3.) Has Reader (Astrid) moved in with Silco by this point or does she just stay with him off and on?

4.) Since the Marcus fiasco, what would the interactions between Silco, Marcus, and Reader (Astrid) be like? Would there be tension or would Silco and Astrid rub it in his face? Perhaps some threats from Silco?🤔🤔🤔

5.) What would Reader (Astrid) and Silco’s relationship look like to an outsider? This question, I’m asking because two of my favorite chapters post Drink with Me are VIP Booth and Shag Rug. And both are instances where there are other people around or nearby when Astrid is dragged off by Silco😅😂. So I just wonder what the average bystanders would think, considering their relationship is private.

I hope this wasn’t too much. I just finally noticed that the link on AO3 was to your tumblr and I wanted to show some love.

P.S. if this is too much, feel free to disregard!

Thank you so much sweet anon! I'm so glad you enjoyed it enough to reread 3 times sob sob <3 <3 <3 Apologies for taking a hot minute, but here are some answers for you...

1.) How would Silco and Astrid’s mother interact? And what would be her mother’s reaction to them getting back together?

This is probably the number 1 top question/request I always get in my askbox lmfao. Silco has little to no interest in ever meeting Astrid's mother, and Astrid is cool with that too. However, if they ever did meet, mother dearest would certainly not have Silco by the balls. Her initial reaction to meeting him would be fear. After that, it would go either one of 2 ways depending on what mood Silco was in that day. He'd either stoke that fear. Or he'd charm her, and have her referring to him as the son she never had within roughly 10 minutes. I'd say the former is most likely, the latter would only be in order to lure her into a false sense of security before petrifying her with a benignly worded threat at a later date.

As to how she'd react to them getting back together post DWM - she'd disapprove (naturally), and would give Astrid a lovely long lecture about how stupid she is to make the same mistake twice and how Astrid's selfish decision is going to impact her [mother's] life.

2.) Could you see Silco and Astrid getting married?

Yes and no.

My headcanon is that marriage isn't hugely common in Zaunite culture because there's no pressure to prove the legitimacy of relationships (familial, romantic or otherwise). In Piltover, families are tied through blood and matrimony. In the Undercity, they're forged in fire. Genetics are inconsequential in Zaun - if you're kin, you're kin, regardless of the blood in your veins, and that's something that Topsiders by nature will never be able to comprehend. In Piltover, a couple who have been together for 2 years and married for 1 would be taken far more seriously and given more rights than a couple who have been living together for 10 years but aren't married. It's all about societal appearances and expectations up there. But in Zaun, none of that matters. Siblings born in hardship are no less than siblings born in blood. Love and loyalty down in the depths isn't defined by anything so tangible.

I'm not saying that people don't get married in Zaun - I'm certain they do - I'm just saying that it isn't such a thing as it is in Piltover or other similarly built societies. There's no expectation for a couple to get married after being together for a certain amount of time, and there's no judgement if they don't.

The reason Astrid's mother is so caught up with the idea is hard for me to put into a few words. She's resentful of her lot in life; a part of her feels she deserves to be wallowing in the Undercity, and another part of her is envious of those who aren't. She places Piltover on this weird pedestal of admiration. She's the type of working class woman who moans about how shitty her life is at the same time as having a framed picture of the monarch on her living room wall.

3.) Has Astrid moved in with Silco by this point?

Soz babe, I'm sitting on this answer a while longer :)

4.) Since the Marcus fiasco, what would the interactions between Silco, Marcus, and Astrid be like?

Tense.

Pretty much immediately after the epilogue in DWM, Astrid and Silco would have spent the morning in bed talking a lot of things out. Including Marcus. Silco no longer holds the past against Astrid, and they are both committed to moving forward together. Despite this, Marcus does remain somewhat of a sore spot in their relationship. Not actively per se, but Astrid avoids mentioning him at all costs, and tends to stay well out of the way whenever the Sheriff comes for a meeting. At the start of their relationship, she also made sure to stay away the night after any meeting too, to give Silco space as his mood post-Marcus meetings tended to be a little unpredictable. But as time passed and her relationship with Silco became more solid, the intensity of this 'sore spot' became less and less. Astrid still avoids mentioning Marcus, and stays well clear of him whenever he visits, but it isn't so awkward as it was at the start of her relationship with Silco now. That being said - the three of them haven't occupied the same room since that one fateful meeting in Chapter 14...

5.) What does Astrid and Silco’s relationship look like to an outsider?

That depends. By this point pretty much the entirety of Silco's staff knows about them in an unofficial capacity. They just pretend not to know. Let's face it - Silco and Astrid aren't as subtle as they think, and their chemistry is evident to anyone with eyes and half a brain. The only people who know about them 'officially' are Jinx, Sevika, Jasper, Max, Astrid's Mum, and Ran (Ran was an unfortunate accident - they walked in whilst S&A were sharing an intimate moment. They swore to secrecy and it's never been mentioned again).

There may be a few regulars in The Last Drop that suspect something is going on between Silco and the cute bartender - but most would likely assume it's a purely physical arrangement. Those who don't frequent the Drop as often and happen to see Silco pulling Astrid off somewhere private would most likely avert their eyes and think poor girl...

[martincrushcameback]

LOOK- Varmijet, to me, would be so happy being the most boring guy you'd ever meet with the most boring hobbies that somehow Torty finds totally endearing.

To me, Varmi is the kind of guy who, once he's finally settled with Torty, settles HARD into total boring domestic life. I'm talking dad belly on his skinny body, newspaper, house robe, silly fuzzy dog slippers his wife gave him, morning coffee and toast. I'm talking following the same exact boring routine every single day for the next 50 years.

I'm talking enjoying only the quietest, most introspective, and "old person" hobbies. Bird watching and model train label accuracy levels of mundane. Stamp collecting, paper airplanes, newspaper crossword puzzles, only reading books about 15th century hats or something.

Embracing house husband life because wow he doesn't have to do much to make their lives happy for once and her job is great so he doesn't HAVE to push himself to the extreme all the time. Making his wife breakfast because she is a whirlwind and he burns the eggs every time and every time she eats it anyways and tells him she likes it because they're HIS boring burnt eggs and he will not admit it would crush him if she ever pointed out he burnt them but she knows and she's not a great cook either.

His life sucked until he met her and then they fought because OBVIOUSLY what you do when you're attracted to a person is verbally dis them and cause bodily harm right? That's what his brothers always did??? But like NO she's perfect and soft and passionate and he wants to pull all his hair out and finally she's like ok you know what you're my passion project. And suddenly it wasn't him having to try and figure out How To Flirt And Be A Human Person, now she's just decided they're a couple and they can do couple things and he is massively introverted but she's basically the sun to him an all encompassing and terrifying ball of energy he adores way too much.

And so domestic married life has fixed this pathetic little meow meow of a man. Turns out life is a whole lot simpler when he just wants to chill and pet his weird cat that will not leave him alone and it chews on his slippers and coughs up hairballs on his pillow -never her pillow, how is that fair you little demon?- And he's happy and his wife is happy.

I feel in my heart that he's SUCH A BORING GUY who needs the enrichment of a very introverted and boring life of routines and soft pillows and coffee and crosswords and scrabble. Let the man know too many intricate facts about the history of old war planes that would bore anyone to tears EXCEPT Torty.

He's the guy who only knows how to hype one person: his wife, and nobody else. He will fight you in the pit if you dare look at her the wrong way but also he calls her names and she calls him names and they're allowed to only complain at each other and people think they hate each other and they're like "what gave you that idea i would die for him/her" and like two seconds ago they were threatening to murder each other over spilled coffee and mismatched socks and now she's braiding his hair while he tells her that he thinks "gerbil" is a stupid word.

@ranfordgallus i was having varmi thoughts

Picture him sitting in old-timey pjs with a house robe on and the stupid fuzzy dog slippers and he's eating a bowl of some generic plain oat cereal and he's focusing WAY too hard on the crossword with Zakitty in his lap trying to chew on his sleeve. He calls out to his wife "Torty what's an 8 letter phrase you tell to someone you care about?"

"I LOVE YOU?" She calls back.

He half chokes on his cereal. "TORTY YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT-!"

And she comes in and looks at him confused because- "I'm your WIFE??"

This is a daily occurrence.

[ge]

Sorry my mind is filled with tang bo returns au and i need to dump it to someone who will take better care of these thoughts

Since the tangs are with us now think about how fun it would be if a reincarnated tangbo came with them and that's how they found each other

They're flirting and bantering on the side like the old married couple they are while jo gul fights tang zhan and the rest of the swords watch tangcheong in horror

That night tang zhan mentiones the 12th dagger thing to Lord Gunak along with the adopted Tang Bo's new "friend" and Tang Gunak walks into Tang Bo's room to ask about that only to find Soso and Tang Bo giggling to each other while tang bo tries on different robes and gushes about CM i am slowly going insane about them your honor ge

BWAHH I LOVE THIS IDEA SOO CUTE... i love the hc that if tangchung both reincarnated they would recognize each other almost instantly even if they looked completely different than they did before, so chung myung striding out of jo guls house to confront the tang party and pausing for a second to take in tang zhan bc of how familiar he looks, then glancing over and completely blanking out for a second seeing the REAL tang bo staring at him w his jaw on the floor is so silly.. both the tang party and jo guls dad just kind of watch them in bewilderment bc this guy just kicked the door of the hinges, fully intent on fighting, is now just staring at the equally dumbfounded tang guy in silence.. so awkward.. it almost feels like theyre interrupting something..

tangchung spending the rest of the evening hanging off each other while jo gul gets wiped is SOO FUNNY..THEY DGAF they just found their other half and couldnt care less about what was going on around them..its free husband.. i love tang bo returns especially bc of the disciples reactions to seeing chung myung act sooo out of character.. their waspish snappy dickhead is staring so lovingly and tenderly into the eyes of some rando from a rivaling sect and ISNT trying to instigate or negotiate something..? has he secretly been poisoned?? is there a needle in his brain..?!?

TANG BO AND TANG SOSO BESTIES...? UR GENIUS IS UNRIVALED R U KIDDING MEEEE would be interesting if tang bo reincarnated into a first cousin, related to the main line but not as important as the direct descendants, but managed to befriend soso and her brothers and just kind of managed to wiggle his way into tang gunak and the elders focus, giving him a little status boost and influence but not much to do anything directly aside from standing beside and slightly behind the main family.. tang bo loves them all dearly though bc theyre his family.. his grand nieces and nephews.. if he cant act paternally towards them then he'll just be the best goddamn cousin in the world, and that includes gushing about his crush to his elated niece turned cousin

[prettypei]

hii i enjoy your writing! may i request fluff drabbles for gojo, choso, yuta, noritoshi (kamo from the kyoto school) and hajime (aka kashimo the turquoise haired pikachu) please? like he's in an established relationship with reader and they're out on a cute date, being domestic and behaving like an old married couple. some ideas: ikea, grocery shopping, aquarium, art gallery, science museum/observatory etc

bonus if there are sweet romantic moments~ i'm fine with either fem or gender neutral reader, thank you i hope you'll consider my request! i just need something comforting to read bc shibuya arc has started in the anime while the manga is kinda at a tensed climax rn and i feel stressed lmao

plot: cute dates/domestic couple thingys with them!; fluff

reader: gn! Reader

characters: gojo, yuuta, choso, kashimo, kamo

warnings: yuutas kinda mean in this (but in a yuuta way)

(a/n): first req!!!!!! Hi hello anon I hope u like it 💪💪💪 gojo’s bento is very stereotypical Japanese LOL…KAMO IS SRSLY UNDERRATED!!!! Erm I also have like zero knowledge of flowers so sorry if it’s inaccurate, KAMOS IS SUPER CHEESY ENDING GBHBHJHHJHJH

✰CHOSO

Choso loves art. But he doesn’t only love art, he also loves you. So when you suggested to take him to the art museum for a date, he was overjoyed by the thought. But… he was embarrassed that you would see his drawings of you, so he hid it discreetly in his bag when you went to the museum. Yes, he paints you. Sketches you, even. But he’s way too shy to admit it, because god, he could never capture the way your eyes glinted or the way your smile stood out or the expression of pure bliss when he kissed you… he tries to avoid drawing you, but he can’t. You’re in every thought of his. And now, he’s trying to hide his notebook from you. He’s hugging it close to his chest, hiding it under his book bag as he mimicked the painting in front of him. It was a simple one, really…but it looked like it was missing something. He thought for a minute and his brain clicked. It was missing you. You would fit perfectly into it, since your eye color would stand out splendidly. He just finished drawing your face before… “whatcha doing?” He stumbles and knocks over his collection of colored pencils over the bench he was sitting on. “Nothing.” “Are you drawing something? Can I see it?” You ask excitedly. And honestly, could he ever say no to you? He mumbled a bit as he gave the book to you and started picking up the colored pencils, and you were surprised to see your own face staring back at you. “Is-is this me?” You smile. You flip through the book, and you noticed how your face was on almost every page. Choso looks up with a flustered face. “I-well-kinda? Yeah?” You drop down to the floor and hug him. “You’re so cute.” You mumble with a grin on your face. If he had known this would’ve made you like this he would’ve shown you this ages ago.

✰YUUTA

You and yuuta were at the grocery store, the second time this week, because food was running out again, since yuuta always insists on "buying just enough for both of us so we don't waste any food". If you didn't lie, you thought he quite enjoyed your silly little trips to the groceries. Even though the walk was short, you and yuuta often point out interesting things that cross your path. Last week you saw a dog wearing a fur coat, and just yesterday yuuta heard a construction worker whistle out the tune to "From the start" by Laufey. It's those simple things that quickly become inside jokes for the both of you. Upon arriving at the store, you usually follow yuuta as he shops for suitable groceries for today's lunch and dinner. But...after going shopping with him 3 times when you were dating, you noticed yuuta had a habit of looking at food labels. For a really long time. As yuuta examines the ingredients for the canned pineapples (why would you even need to do that? It's literally just pineapples!) you whine about how he's taking so long that you've started getting wrinkles. He then proceeds to give you a chuckle and a "wait a minute, love." and continue to read the can's contents. "(name)." He calls out your name in the most serious tone you've ever heard him in. "what?" He reaches into the cart and takes out a can of "grilled takoyaki balls: freshly made" and gives you a disgusted look. You shrug sheepishly.

✰GOJO

"(NAME)!!! (NAMEEEE)!!!" A tic almost forms at your forehead when you hear that sound, and, lo and behold, it is your husband once again embarrassing you in front of your co-workers. You walk over to him while crossing your arms. "What are you doing?" You hiss as the women (and men) all around you give you jealous looks. "Can't I surprise my darlin' at work once in a while?" He grins while holding up a bento box. Your eyes soften as you look at the homemade bento. Yeah, it probably tastes like shit cuz Gojo really can't cook, but...it's nice to see him put in an effort once in a while. "I wanna see your reaction when you eat it." He says stubbornly as he pulls your hand into the office building. "Oh boy." You think when Gojo shrugs off the security guard and waves to everyone as he waltzes into the lunch break room like he owns the place. He pulls a chair down for you and sits down in another one. "Open it, open it!" He smiles. You roll your eyes with a chuckle, and you're expecting to see some unidentified gunk, but to your surprise, it's a cute bento with sausages shaped like squid, egg rolls tucked in nicely next to the fried rice, and meat balls on a stick. “I made it four times, did you like it? And, well, I may or may have not made our kitchen a mess but it’s worth-“ You shut him up with a kiss.

✰KAMO

“Kamo, love?” “Yes, dear?” “Look at how gorgeous these Daffodils are!” You pick up a potted plant of them as Kamo miles at you. Going on dates to flower shops had become a routine for you and Kamo, since you both would do it weekly. “Yes, darling, they are beautiful. Not as beautiful as you though.” “Shut up.” You scoff as you roll your eyes and shove him playfully. Kamo has a wide knowledge about flowers, knowing what each of them symbolize and what they represent. Before dating Kamo, you would’ve never known that red, white and pink carnations had different meanings, or that white Hyacinths stood for loveliness. Most of the time on these dates you would stroll through each aisles, pointing out flowers or plants that you thought were cute. Kamo would then proceed to tell you the meaning. On the surface, it may seem like a repetitive action, but with Kamo, everything feels new and interesting. He may tell you a story about what this plant reminds him of, or about how this flower wilts to your beauty. At the end of every date (usually the shopkeeper has to kick you both out) Kamo buys you a bouquet of flowers, each symbolizing something about your relationship with one another. Even though sometimes the flowers wilt and you have to throw them away, he knows that his love for you never will.

✰KASHIMO

"Kashi! You look just like it!" Kashimo hums as he opens one eye to see you holding up a cat. You both are at a cat cafe, since you really do love cats and, well, Kashimo doesn't mind cats, really. But when he met you (a certified-cat-lover) his love for them had grown. Now, whenever he sees a stray cat on the street, he takes a picture and shows it to you. "Do I? Its hair's not green." He points out. "Well, it doesn't have to be! You and him both give off the same vibes! I just saw him standing on top of the bookshelf, thought it looked lonely." "You think I'm lonely?" He teases, getting down from his seat to sit on the floor with you. “Nah. You’re never lonely with me.” You grin. “Say hi to it!” “Hello.” He says with a deadpan face. “You have to be friendly with it!” “Hello.” He smiles an obviously forced grin. “😐” “I love you.” “Okay.” “C’mon, baby don’t be like that.” He smirks as he scoots in closer with you. You roll your eyes as you start playing with the cat. Kashimo’s eyes narrow as he snatch’s the cat away from your arms. “Hey!” “If you keep on playing with it more than me, I’m gonna think you were wishing you were dating it.” He ruffles its hair as he lets it go. “You’re so mean. It’s cute! Unlike you.” “Who exactly is the mean one?” You giggle and poke his cheek. “I’m joking, joking. I love you.” There’s a moment of silence as he takes in the words. “Well, I love you more. If this is a competition, I’m definitely gonna win.”

[the-froschamethyst4]

The baby brains

𖤐Pairing: husband! König x Wife! Reader

𖤐Pronouns: She/Her

𖤐Warnings: heartaching toothrotting fluff, wholesome, a child genius, typical elementary school bully, fighting, married couple, kissing, badly translated German, language,

𖤐Summary: König’s and Y/n’s 6-year-old daughter Heidi is known as what the teachers call her ‘a child genius’ she is very smart and gets the best grades in her class, but due to her being smart, that also leads her to get bullied by the other kids

———————

———————

Heidi was sitting in her class doing some extra work after getting done with one of her assignments. She was almost done with this assignment next.

She went to her teacher's desk and placed the extra work on her desk, and she was given a sticker for her good work, every student gets a sticker once they're done with their work. Heidi just gets a few extra stickers.

Heidi went back to her desk and grabbed a book from her desk cubby and opened it, she read hard chapter books that were in 9th grade reading level.

Heidi placed her extra sticker on her bookmark that was covered in other stickers. Heidi used her bookmark to move down a sentence so she wouldn't get confused and reread the same line again.

"Why do you keep getting extra stickers?" Romy, a girl in Heidi's class said as she walked up to her and pointed to her bookmark with the stickers.

"I don't know? Because I do my work?" Heidi said, showing her bookmark.

"I do extra work and I never get an extra sticker," Romy said with her hands on her hips.

"Then go ask Mrs.Ludwig to for an extra sticker if you do extra work," Heidi said.

Romy took Heidi's bookmark and ripped it in front of her. Heidi stood up and grabbed the torn bookmark and she grabbed Romy's shirt collar.

"Why would you do that!?" Heidi said, Mrs.Ludwig looked up from her doing paperwork and saw Heidi grabbing Romy's shirt.

"Girls, girls, what are you two doing?" She asked, grabbing Heidi's hands to let go of Romy's shirt.

"She ripped my bookmark."

"She keeps getting extra stickers and it makes me mad, I do extra work and I never get extra stickers."

"Romy...you don't do extra work, that's why you don't get extra stickers, and Heidi you can't put your hands on Romy like that okay?"

"Yes ma'am," the girls both said at the same time.

"Good, I will be calling both of your parents for this," the girls just nodded, and Romy went back to her desk and Heidi sat back down in her seat.

----------

Y/n was at work doing some paperwork till her phone was rung. She looked down seeing the school calling her, she rubbed her eyes getting prepared for the phone call.

Y/n answered the phone and in her nicest voice she answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Mrs.King?"

"Yes?"

"Hi, I'm Mrs.Ludwig, Heidi's teacher, I'm just letting you know that Heidi has almost got into a fight with one of the other girls Romy Weber. Over Romy ripping Heidi's bookmark because Heidi gets extra stickers for doing her work..."

"Over...a bookmark?" Y/n rubbed her eyes.

"Yes...it's a little silly, but I am supposed to report to parents about every little thing that happens in the classroom even over something about a bookmark ripping and almost causing a fight," Mrs.Ludwig said, and she gave an awkward laugh.

"I understand, I'll have a talk with her once she gets home, thank you for telling me."

"Of course, have a good day, Mrs.King," Mrs.Ludwig hung up the phone.

Y/n went to text and was going to text her husband König, he was back on the field for a while, he comes home around midnight and gets 4 hours of sleep and has to leave around 5 in the morning and repeats.

Liebe: *König, your daughter almost got into a fight at school*

King: *Sie wird unser Tod sein (she's gonna be the death of us)*

Liebe: *And it was over one of the girls ripping a bookmark*

King: *zur Hölle (The fuck) that's so fucking stupid. If my daughter put her hands on you, it was probably over something else, then a ripped bookmark, ridiculous* *And this is the third time they've called about this girl causing problems with Heidi....I'll go back down there and put my two cents in*

Y/n could tell König was pissed and a pissed König was the hottest thing ever.

Liebe: I mean, I'm not opposed to it*

King: *Nah, I'll do it when something actually bad happens*

Y/n just giggled at her husband.

---------

3:30PM

Y/n waited at the bus stop for her daughter. Heidi soon got off the bus and walked with her head down knowing she's probably in trouble. She looked up at her mom and gave a lazy smile.

"Heidi, you're not in trouble, come on," Y/n said as they headed inside their home.

"But mama, she ripped my bookmark because I get extra work..."

"I know, baby, but you can't just put your hands on someone, do you understand?" Heidi just nodded her head. "Your father will have a talk with you later, okay?"

"Okay," Heidi said.

Heidi put her bag in her bedroom and walked back downstairs and grabbed an apple as a snack. She sat on the couch to watch her afternoon cartoons but that was soon stopped by Y/n.

"Nah, nah, since you almost got into a fight, you will have to play outside with the neighborhood kids," Y/n said with her hands on her hips and Heidi groaned.

"But mama-"

"Don't 'but mama' me, go get your bike and go play outside with them, okay?" Heidi hated playing with the neighborhood kids, mainly because she thinks that since she's smart, she shouldn't play with children but kids who are around her sort of intelligence.

She grabbed her bike and sat on the seat in the driveway looking for the neighborhood kids, she saw them in the court going around in circles and playing tag with each other.

She rolled her eyes and went to the court and 'played' with the kids.

---------

Y/n could see Heidi play from the kitchen window. As Y/n was washing the dishes she got yet another phone call from the school.

"Hello?"

"Hi, I'm Mrs.Meyer the principal from the high school, we have seen your child's Heidi King's test scores, and we would like to have her in the high school next year."

Y/n was stunned that her 1st grade child may go into high school with teenagers and young adults.

"I ummm~ I...that's insane..." Y/n stuttered.

"Yes, it is, and she will be the first child prodigy to come into high school, she will be a freshman when she comes into the high school."

Y/n could hear the smile on Mrs.Meyer's face.

"I would have to talk to my husband about it and call back on a decision."

"Yes, of course, our office hours are 7:00am to 4:00pm, just to let you know whenever you want to call."

"Of course, thank you."

They both hung up and Y/n rubbed her temple, that's crazy that the high school wants her to come and be part of the high school.

---------

Midnight

König came back in the house, taking his boots off at the door and removed his mask, he took a deep breath and removed all his gear at the door as well, leaving him in his black camo pants and black tight shirt, that hugged his muscles perfectly.

König opened the fridge and grabbed some leftovers from the night before, he was about to heat up the microwave and could see a plate sitting inside the microwave.

"We saved you some," Y/n's voice sounded horsed and tired. She rubbed her tired eyes and König turned to look at her and she was wearing one of his shirts that stopped at her mid-thigh and one side of the shirt just exposing her black panties.

He smirked at her and pulled her close to his chest and he kissed her forehead.

"Thank you, honig (honey)."

"Sure," she walked to the other side of the counter and sat on the stool and looked at him move the plate in front of her.

"Why are you up?" He asked.

"Heard you come home...the high school called me."

König looked confused. "Why?"

"They saw her test scores and they want her to come into the high school next year and be a freshman. I told them I'd talk to you about it before I call them back with an answer."

"I think that's amazing...but I'm worried she may get picked on there then in high school."

"No, people will respect her in some sort of way. She's the smartest kid, we know, and the high school want her," Y/n said as König smiled and ate his food.

Y/n and König headed upstairs to their bedroom; Y/n fell on her side going back to sleep as König was getting some comfy clothes on. He walked out his bedroom a little bit and headed down the hall to his daughter's bedroom.

She was still up; she had a flashlight on one of her chapter books, she immediately hid the book and turned off the flashlight, but she knows she can't act dumb, her daddy knows better.

"Kleines Mädchen (baby girl) come now, you have to go to bed, Es ist Mitternacht (it's midnight)."

"Ich bin nicht müde, Papa (I'm not tired, daddy)."

"I don't care if you are or not, Du brauchst deinen Schlaf (you need your sleep)."

"Fein (fine)," Heidi groans. She put her flashlight and book away in her nightstand drawer. König sat on the edge of her bed and kissed her forehead.

"Gute Nacht, Baby (good night, baby)." He said as he walked out of her bedroom and headed back to his bedroom.

--------

König had gotten up ready for work. Y/n walked into the bathroom with König. He smirked seeing her, his hands went to her waist pulling her into a good morning kiss.

"Guten Morgen mein Liebling (good morning, my love)," he said with a smirk on his face.

"Morning, König," she said.

"Oh, you were asleep, but I went into Heidi's room, and she was still awake."

"Oh, that girl, she better get up and ready for school soon. I'll also call the high school to let them know that we've made up our mind and will let Heidi go to high school, but we need to let Heidi know."

"Oh yeah, I know," he kissed her lips again. "I'll have to get going soon," he said.

"Okay, have fun."

"You know I won't," he said, smacking her butt before leaving the bedroom.

"Give your kisses to Heidi," Y/n said.

"I know, I will."

Heidi was already up and getting ready for school. König opened her door slowly and saw her up and putting her work folder back in her backpack.

"Heidi."

"Good morning, papa," she said. König picked his daughter up and kissed her temple.

"I have to go to work, I'll be home later," he told her and placed her back on the ground.

"We also have something to tell you, Heidi," Y/n said, stepping into her daughter's bedroom and trapped König inside with her, so he couldn't just dart off just yet.

"Oh yeah," he said, turning to his daughter.

"What?" She asked.

"Next year for school...the high school called me yesterday and would like you to go and be a freshman..." Y/n said.

Heidi's eyes lit up with excitement that she could be in high school, she's excited that she gets to leave the elementary school behind and start high school.

"YES REALLY!!?"

"Yes, baby," Y/n said, kissing her daughter's cheek.

𖤐AN: Hi, I may do a part two with this fic to show what Heidi may through when she starts High school and is in a new environment and how things may go with her and the new faces in the school

[critter-genfic-events]

Funny Gen Recs

This week, we have fourteen funny fics for folks! Pranks, fake marriages, and lots of unlikely pairings under the cut - and as always, don't forget to kudos or comment if you like them!

Working Late by percahlia (585,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Cassandra de Rolo & Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III

A sibling moment after an explosion in Percy's workshop.

Reccer says: Percy does his best 'cat who didn't quite make the jump but totally meant to do that' impression

What Goes Up by krakens (2311,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Grog Strongjaw & Pike Trickfoot

Pike suggests playing a prank on Vax. Grog suggests putting a cow in his room.

Reccer says: It's a silly little slice of life that reminds me of all of the silly little moments that happened amidst all of the drama of Campaign 1.

GOBSMACKED (Five Times Nott Gave the Shovel Talk) by Mikkeneko (4381,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Nott & Caleb Widogast

She had to be on the lookout for heart-thieves who would toy with her boy's affections and then break his heart and make him cry afterwards. Caleb wouldn't be looking out for himself because he was so very smart about so many things and so very dumb about feelings.

Reccer says: Amazing, pitch-perfect early Nott voice. I could imagine Sam doing this bit.

Wizard Immortality Clause by jakia (808,Teen) Warnings: Pairings: Caleb Widogast/Essek Thelyss

Caleb decides he's going to live just as long as Essek will. The Raven Queen objects, and sends Vax down to try and handle it

Reccer says: Caleb and Vax's interactions are pure gold

Slip Knot by AgentMint (4287,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Beauregard Lionett & Caleb Widogast

5 times Beau and Caleb pretended to be married and 1 time they absolutely didn’t (thank the gods)

Reccer says: Amazing sibling energy from the two of them

trust their steps to a dance that is lighter than air by grayintogreen (1085,General) Warnings: N/A Pairings: N/A

Ghostslayers have an ability called Aether Walk. Purple tieflings like to abuse it.

Reccer says: Short, cute, and exactly how each of the tieflings would abuse their power.

Dwendalian Book Club by SkipDelicious (1182,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings:

As is customary, Jester bequeaths the newest member of the Mighty Nein with her copy of Tusk Love

Reccer says: Amazing banter

the coyotes know her name by grayintogreen (2561,Teen) Warnings: N/A Pairings: N/A

Jester’s divine intervention attempt at the Vergessen Sanatorium works. Artagan comes up with something helpful.

Reccer says: A funny what-if that’s fun and in character.

ghost is a verb by mousecookie (3664,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Jourrael | The Inevitable End & The Crown Keepers, Jourrael | The Inevitable End & Opal (Critical Role)

In which the EXU crew are themselves, and Lolth's chosen assassin takes her first deeply reluctant steps towards becoming The Inevitable Friend

Reccer says: This is one of my comfort reads - one of my favorite things is the use of the pink font for Opal's messages

Rock and Roll Kitchen by Beauteousmajesty (892,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings:

Milo is summoned from their work for a meal prepared by Ashton and Fresh Cut Grass. Regretfully, Milo is fairly certain that neither of them can cook. It's free food though, so they're willing to try.

Reccer says: It feels very much like friends who know each other very well teasing each other

Bite Me by daretodhampir (stardustedknuckles) (885,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Fearne Calloway & Ashton Greymoore

Early on, Fearne has a couple of questions on Ashton's physicality.

Reccer says: Fearne is wonderfully weird on this, in a way that's incredibly endearing

Old Friends and Familar Faces by Fishpaste (2374,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Beauregard Lionett & Percy De Rolo

It had just been supposed to be another boring meeting of making the incremental progress at putting Trent Ikithon away forever. However, there is something far too familiar about Lord Percival de Rolo and Beau is determined to figure it out.

Reccer says: It starts off somewhat serious, and then takes an amazing left turn when they recognize each other. Perfect

Polymorph for Fun and Profit by MasterQwertster (4548,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings:

Short snippet stories of Bells Hells' (mis)adventures in using/abusing the Polymorph spell.

Reccer says: It's a very quick read since many of the chapters are super short and just a lot of silly shenanigans.

Nonagon Unbridled by fruitzbat (1230,General) Warnings: Spoilery re: the LitMoR series if you care about that! Pairings: Jester Lavorre & Lucien

Jester reads a fairy tale to Lucien, who has been confined by the Nein. Fanfic of a fanfic (Molly Lives AU: Life in the Margin of Redemption series by grayintogreen).

Reccer says: Funny side story that honestly doesn't require too much familiarity with LitMoR.

This is one of our weekly communally-generated gen rec lists. Every week we announce a new theme and allow anyone to submit a fic recommendation. Please note that the summary and content notes are provided by the reccer, and may be different than what the author has provided. Please assume good intentions all around. <3

And hey, anyone includes you!

Next week's theme is hurt/comfort! It should be a popular one!

Then, it'll be Yasha, clothing, and then time skips/future fics!

Any fics coming to mind?  Well, then use this form to submit!

If you're looking for some more, check out some fics written in the critter genfic bingo tag, or the older rec lists! Or you can request your own card and join in on the fun!

[oneforthemunny]

I’d LOVE to hear your opinion on whether you think the couples who don’t have a marriage/kids storyline actually stay together (Dom!Eddie, Modern!Eddie, Bouncer!Eddie, etc…)!

Because, realistically—as much as it hurts to say—those couples seem like a “relationship you learn from, not necessarily stay together forever” if that makes sense, lol…?

Especially with Bouncer!Eddie and Bartender!Reader. If I had it my way, Modern!Eddie and his mean girl would be forever, but they’re so young, I don’t know if they would! 😭

I’ll give Dom!Eddie the most grace, and say out of the three, he’s most likely to marry Reader…or, at least stay together if marriage isn’t his thing… right… hopefully?!

i don't want to break hearts with reality so i won't lmao.

what i meant by that, is they don't seem like the type to want to get married necessarily??? if that makes sense? also to me, these are the ones that i don't really see "growing old" in a way if that makes sense. like they exist in that moment in time and i just haven't expanded it as much like other have. nothing against them, just sorta this is their moment in time and that's where they are.

like dom!eddie to me is my canon eddie (he's just horny emphasized lol) and i don't see him growing up and settling down. to me he just always exists in this timeline where him and reader are dating, and it's fun and it's silly, and it's serious but they're young and having fun type vibe. i just haven't thought past that tbh, but if i did, i like to think they'd stay together. i think they'd break up for a while, experience other people, then come back together when they realized they still wanted each other.

modern!eddie and mean girl... listen, so, to me?? to ME (vivi leave me alone), they are on again off again their whole fucking life. like if they got married, they get divorced, then remarried... then maybe divorced again and remarried idk? they're that couple (please tell me your hometown also has one). everyone's like "now why would they stay together?" and it's really a great question but they do lol. i think that's how they'd keep the 'spark' alive so to say lol.

boxer!eddie thinks marriage is stupid. he thinks it's dumb, it's a piece of paper, it's not worth it, like he's very anti-marriage. "i want to leave someone with a clean break. no strings attached and shit." "so you're gonna leave me?" i think him and reader would end up together, just not ever 'marry' because it's pointless to him. if reader really really wanted to, he'd give in and do a courthouse, but it'd have to be really far down the line. like if they had kids, he'd do it then bc he'd realize how it makes it a little easier on them.

bouncer!eddie and bartender!reader, i said they were gina and older!eddie in their younger days, and in a way they are. but if you're not vibing with that kinda fate, i'm really ok with them being just stuck in that moment forever. same as dom!eddie, just in their prime, the glory days, whatever you want to call it. forever young, forever messy and silly and in love and a little chaotic, with no real long term timeline plan, just happy and thriving in their point in time <3

[roamingtigress]

Bedside Manners

You awake one morning to find two old men have broken into your house, kicked your dog off the bed and now you can't take your eyes off the old man yaoi action happening before your eyes. Fair warning, Zuckerberg; nipples get exposed here.

Gender-neutral reader x Vandermatthews! Based on a silly dream I had :3

Bedside Manners

by Roaming Tigress

It's the early morning hours and you wake up to feel something moving at the foot of your bed. It's not your dog, your cat, your spouse.

Is it some cheeky intruder who boldly forced their way through your bedroom window?

It might as well be.

You feel your cheeks flush as you make out the vague shapes of two men sitting on the edge of the bed. At least you *think* they're sitting on the edge of the bed.

You want to get a better picture of what is happening and you take advantage of your phone's flashlight setting.

Your cheeks flush more when you see who it is: Dutch and Hosea, the two camp dads as you affectionately call them.

And they're not just sitting on the edge of your bed. Dressed adorably in matching blue mango-printed silken pyjamas, they are making out with one other on your bed, with Dutch taking the lead. He slips a hand through an opening between the buttons of Hosea's pyjama top. While you think it's a sexy gesture, Hosea lets out a yelp of surprise.

"Your hands are cold, Dutch!"

Dutch flashes a sly grin to Hosea, leaning in more as he wags an eyebrow.

"Well, that means they need to be warmed up!"

"Oh, God, you . . . " Hosea gasped as that damn cold hand roamed underneath his pyjama top, his squirming only encouraging Dutch. "You old rascal!"

Oh, but Hosea wasn't going to just let Dutch get away with such cheekiness. He got him back when he shoved his hands down the hem of his pyjama pants and grabbed his ass. Alas, from your angle you don't get to see much of his ass; you instead get a little flash of a love handle and old man paunch instead. Just as you always wanted. Predictably, Dutch yelps at the sensation of his ass being grabbed, and to your amusement, his yelp is exceptionally high-pitched. Though Hosea taught him well, Dutch is not not as tough as he tries to show.

"Oh, shut up!" Hosea growls, and after steading the back of his head, locks lips with the Plan Man. You are certain those tongues are battling for dominance and yo uknow there can only be one winner.

For as far into each other as they are, you do not go unnoticed by them.

It was Dutch that first noticed you were watching them as you sat up in bed, mesmerized. He's a little excited about having an audience; you had an inkling that you thought he'd be into that sort of thing.

"OLD PEOPLE HAVE SEX, TOO!" Dutch barked out, much to Hosea's embarrassment.

Great, now the rest of the house has been woken up.

"Shhhh!" You hiss back. "You already sent my dog off the bed, do you want to wake up everyone too?"

Right about then, you realize that you just egged Dutch on. Hosea is shaking his head, but there's a little tiny smirk on the corner of his lips though, which tells you he's more amused than he's letting on.

There's a sly grin forming across Dutch's meticulously mustached lips. And then, to your amusement, he undoes a button of his pyjama top and playfully flashes you a nipple. "What's wrong with that? You could charge admission at the door for this."

You laugh. You can't help but laugh. The whole situation is just so . . . Silly.

You've thought of these two as an old married couple, not without their tragedy. You also think of each of the men in your way; maybe you think of Hosea as the shrewd one who could sell ice cubes to the iceman. Maybe you think Dutch as the charmer with the silver tongue who would benefit from modern mental health care, a complicated character you could do multiple-paragraph analysis on. But whatever and however you think of them, here they are being . . . Silly and inhibited here. Maybe they feel so comfortable in your presence, knowing that you appreciate these characters and what they bring to the table and enjoy them as a couple, and your lack of judgement with that is icing on the cake. And maybe, just maybe, they like to have an audience.

"I think they'll want to see more than a nipple!"

Dutch decides to flash a nipple for the *third* time. Now he's showing you both of them. How "How about two nipples?"

Aren't you lucky?

"Oh, don't encourage him!" Hosea lets out a dramatic sigh. He attempts to cover Dutch up as if he thinks they are intruding upon you enough. Did you really want to see a man's nipple when you're trying to get some sleep? Dutch though, with differing opinions, squirms out of it, revealing the other nipple anda little more skin,too. He's just happy to flash you his other nipple, much to your amusement.

What a show!

"Since when are you such a prude, Old Girl?" Dutch teases; you find that nickname so charming. His eyes are sparking with mischief; you know life rarely gets dull for Hosea with Dutch in his life to keep him on his toes.

"I know that couldn't have started last Friday. I'm still recovering!"

Now you're intrigued. Just what went down last Friday?

Although truly no prude, Hosea is the more private of the two when it comes to their sex life. He won't shut down a conversation about sex and in fact enjoys discussing it -- this is a very sex positive married old couple -- but he likes to leave a little intrigue. Sex is only a part of this couple's relationship but it's the decadent dessert they await at the end of each week. Sex for them is fire rekindling, a display of affection, even after all these years. And maybe an excuse to put Dutch in his place.

"I can assure you that nothing out of the ordinary took place on Friday."

Dutch of course, won't leave that be. He's feeling very sassy and you have to admit, you played a part in that.

"Well I'm not so sure that using a riding crop and reins and bridle on me is our -- "

Time for makeout session number #2.

Hosea pins Dutch down onto the end of the bed, establishing dominance in one smooth move. Maybe even a little tongue was involved. You could almost imagine what he was like in his prime; this man is 55 years old.

And it's not even Friday.

You wake up sometime in the morning, feeling very warm and cozy;and the source source of that warmth was entirely Vandermatthews powered.

Hosea's face is nuzzled under the crook of your neck, curled up as to not take up too much of your space. You pull an arm around him in a gentle squeeze as he lightly snores, right in your ear. And Dutch? Sprawled out across the bed, and partially on you too, since you might as well just be another pillow on the bed, an extension of the mattress. And yet, you can't resist ruffling that hair and tickling that chin; he closes his eyes with a silly toothy grin.

And your dog? Curled up in their bed on the floor and judging their bedside manners, and hoping in their next lives, they come back as a squirrel.

[traumacatholic]

I recently got engaged to the love of my life. We are both still very young, but currently there is a possibility they may have cancer. we cannot currently make an appointment with the hospital because its the weekend, and moreover if we can get an appointment it may be months away. Im terrified beyond belief. My fiancé even more so.

I truly do not know what to do. I'm someone who has been blessed in life in that I have never lost someone close to me. My fiancé pulled me out of the worst time in my life when I met them. My connection to God has never been strong despite my family being catholic. I don't even really know how to pray. We have so many plans for the future, to be married and raise a family together. To try and put a little good back into the world. To grow old together.

I am at a loss. Any prayer you can offer would mean so much to me. I would do anything for my fiancé, and though it feels wrong to come back to my faith because something horrible is happening and not for simply wanting to I only hope God can forgive me for it and protect my Love.

Of course, I will keep you both in my prayers. Never feel like you're turning to your faith for the 'wrong' reason, because this can put you off really engaging and connecting with your faith and using it as a pillar and a support network. Please reach out to a Church, even if you aren't currently attending one. And asking for prayers and for help from the Priest. Even if you did turn to faith for the 'wrong' reason, ultimately by spending time in prayer, spending time reading Scripture, spending time going to Church - whatever things you might be doing. Should hopefully lead to you sincerely connecting with your faith in a way that perhaps feels more meaningful to you. A genuine engagement with the faith. It is better to turn to God in times of desperate situations, than to never turn to Him at all. God never tires of us turning to Him for help.

People turn to the faith in different ways, in many different situations. We should never treat the individual turning to God as 'this is the right reason', 'this is the wrong reason'. Anything that could lead to someone genuinely increasing their faith, no matter how slim that possibility may be, should be encouraged. How many cultural Catholics still turn to St Anthony for help finding a lost item? Or a Hail Mary when they're in the hospital waiting room? As the old saying goes 'there's no atheist in the trenches'. And regardless of how 'silly' or 'insincere' or whatever else term we might use that turn to faith might be, God will use it as an opportunity for you to develop or redevelop that relationship with Him. Our entire life is a conversion process. We are always, every single day, choosing to convert to God through repentance or choosing to slip away from Him. Hoping in God, hoping in His power and His mercy and His comfort isn't a bad thing.

In terms of prayers, if you are feeling up for it. There is an Akathist to the Theotokos for healing - particularly for healing from cancer. I know you don't have a confirmed diagnosis, but please don't feel like you have to wait until then to pray this. You can pray it now. This is a long prayer. It is designed to be read all the way through. Don't worry about the names of Troparion or Kontakion, that's meant for people that are chanting the Akathist. http://www.stvladimiraami.org/sheetmusic/akathistvsetsaritsa.pdf Has the beginning prayers, as well as the full akathist. Generally, the first couple of times reading through an Akathist can make it take a long time. But I found through the Akathist that I prayed daily, that eventually it takes a lot less time because you know the prayer well enough. Don't feel like you have to read this every day. Traditionally, Akathists can be said once a day for a 40 day period. You don't have to do it for that long, just as and when it feels feasible. It does also have three prayers at the bottom. If you're ever not feeling up for praying the Akathist, feel free to pray those individually.

I have attached some much shorter prayers under the read more. Feel free to mix and match between them. I would recommend having at least one prayer, that you pray morning and night. If you can, I would also recommend reading a Psalm a day.

Dear Lord, as my loved ones and I await the results of medical tests about my affliction, let us offer you our anxieties for our good and your glory. Calm us in our worries, knowing these don’t add wisdom but rather stress to this situation. Enlighten us, though the power of your Spirit, to make wise decisions as to treatment. Help us not to turn away from You in these fragile, painful moments, but rather towards you for grace and strength. Comfort us in seeking you now as we place all our concerns in your loving hands as we say “Thy Will Be Done.”

--

Mary, health of the sick, you brought forth into our world Jesus Christ, our Divine Healer. In your caring goodness, intercede for (mention name), who is truly in need of miraculous assistance.

If it be God’s will, I ask this day that the gift of healing from all forms of cancer be granted to (name).

Comfort him/her during times of anguish, pain, confusion and despair. Ask our gracious Savior to grant him/her physical health, inner peace and patience in suffering.

May God’s healing graces grant (name) a life of happiness, health and fulfillment here on earth, and one day the joy of eternal glory in His loving embrace.

Amen.

--

Let us pray to the Lord. Lord have mercy.

O Lord Almighty, the Healer of our souls and bodies, You Who put down and raise up, Who chastise and heal also; do You now, in Your great mercy, visit our brother (sister) (Name), who is sick. Stretch forth Your hand that is full of healing and health, and get him (her) up from his (her) bed, and cure him (her) of his (her) illness. Put away from him (her) the spirit of disease and of every malady, pain and fever to which he (she) is bound; and if he (she) has sins and transgressions, grant to him (her) remission and forgiveness, in that You love mankind; yea, Lord my God, pity Your creation, through the compassions of Your Only-Begotten Son, together with Your All-Holy, Good and Life-creating Spirit, with Whom You are blessed, both now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen.

Let us pray to the Lord. Lord have mercy.

O Lord our God, Who by word alone did heal all diseases, Who did cure the kinswoman of Peter, You Who chastise with pity and heal according to Your goodness; Who are able to put aside every malady and infirmity, do You Yourself, the same Lord, grant aid to this Your servant (Name) and cure him (her) of every sickness of which he (she) is grieved; lift him (her) up from his (her) bed of pain and distress, and send down upon him (her) Your great mercy, and if it be Your Will, give to him (her) health and a complete recovery; for You are the Physician of our souls and bodies, and to You do we send up Glory: to Father, and to Son, and to Holy Spirit, both now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen.

--

O God, our help in time of need, Who are just and merciful, and Who inclines to the supplications of His people.

Look down upon ____________and have mercy on them and deliver them from the trouble that now besets them.

Deal with ____________ not according to their iniquities, but according to Your manifold mercies, for we are the works of Your hands, and You know our weaknesses.

I pray to you to grant ____________ Your divine helping grace, and endow them with patience and strength to endure their hardships with complete submission to Your Will.

Only You know our misery and sufferings, and to You, our only hope and refuge, we flee for relief and comfort, trusting in Your infinite love and compassion, that in due time, when You know best, You will deliver ____________ from this trouble, and turn their distress into comfort.

We then shall rejoice in Your mercy, and exalt and praise Your Holy Name, O Father, Son and Holy Spirit, both now and forever and to the ages of ages.  Amen

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[Feel free to pray this one for yourself, and to edit it to be a prayer for your fiancé. From my understanding, when we are praying for someone else, we omit any references to them being a sinner. So you would edit it to 'Be merciful to him/her, O Master. Take from them the heavy burden of despair.']

O Greatly-merciful Master, Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me and cleanse me from every sadness and disturbance and cowardice. Drive away from me every spiritual choking and demonic sorrow, that I sense in my body and my soul. For You are our Joy, and the Hope of all the ends of the earth, and those far off at sea. Be merciful to me, O Master, upon my sins. Take from me the heavy burden of sin and despair. Drive far away from me every sadness and laziness. Confirm me in Your Love, and with unassailable hope and unshakable faith in You, through the intercessions of Your Spotless Mother, and all Your Saints. Amen.

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[I would recommend this one for yourself]

O Master, Lord my God, in Whose hands is my destiny: Help me according to Thy mercy, and leave me not to perish in my transgressions, nor allow me to follow them who place desires of the flesh over those of the spirit. I am Thy creation; disdain not the work of Thy hands. Turn not away; be compassionate and humiliate me not, neither scorn me, O Lord, as I am weak. I have fled unto Thee as my Protector and God. Heal my soul, for I have sinned against Thee. Save me for Thy mercy's sake, for I have cleaved unto Thee from my youth; let me who seeks Thee not be put to shame by being rejected by Thee for mine unclean actions, unseemly thoughts, and unprofitable remembrances. Drive away from me every filthy thing and excess of evil. For Thou alone art holy, alone mighty, and alone immortal, in all things having unexcelled might, which, through Thee, is given to all that strive against the devil and the might of his armies. For unto Thee is due all glory, honor and worship: To the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen

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[healer-pop]

STAR ANON I SEE WHAT YOU ARE!! /pos thats such a venture thing to do istg, I can't BELIEVE-

i also enjoy how we've all essentially decided they're a god damn tease and like to edge the fuck outta you <3 - feral

every day I crave writing a fluffy smut fic, where the two of you are in an long-term, established relationship, and it’s just the most endearing, loving, and goofy sex that you’ve ever read that makes you think, “these people are going to be head over heels in love until their 102. the way they act like an old married couple.” but then venture does the strap thing in overwatch and I lose my fluffy thoughts to p0rny ones. help.

i do think my favorite accepted headcanon for Venture is that no matter what, whether they’re serious or silly, they be teasing you non-stop. it’s like they have a sole mind for processing everything you do and churning out little things that make you pout so they can kiss your lips. just a wholesomeness and relaxed feeling about their relationship with you that makes you smile, you’re their best friend, they feel like they can joke around with you like that because they can never lose you, and they make it a point to bring light to your day. just inside jokes between two people who adore each other and can poke fun at each other, idk might be my ideal form of love. ❤️

and bringing that energy into the bedroom is so much fun, makes everything better. they can take it to a dommy state that just makes you completely soaked when they pair it with a “try me” kind of look, almost forcing a bratty partner to react or a subby partner to submission. they bring out the menace in all of us. best Dom EVER. and how they carry themselves?? so self-assured that they can almost feign empathy to your begging, you don’t even realize they’re edging you as they nod with their mirrored pout, “I know baby! Must be so hard, isn’t it? You want me to let you cum? Yeah? Awwww, so much… you’re taking so, so much, so much of my cock, huh? it’s probably just so big, stretching you out like that!”

on a completely unrelated note: VENTURE 100% THE TYPE THAT MAKES FUN OF YOUR TYPOS AND BRINGS THEM UP IN MIDCONVO.