#they're good bros we love them

[silverstarfics]

Today’s @thunder-pride prompt is ‘can we talk?’ and I’ve had this partly written for a while but didn’t get around to finishing it until this morning, so hopefully it reads okay and doesn’t feel weirdly disjointed in the middle! 

AO3 link

It was approaching eleven-thirty. The pale light of dusk had long since been replaced by the depths of night, yet John had made no move to switch on a lamp. He was still sat at the same tiny table in an equally small kitchen in his apartment and had not moved since his hasty retreat from a restaurant downtown.

His skin was still crawling with discomfort. He couldn’t shake the sight of disappointment in his date’s eyes. If he had to make a list of the top five worst feelings in the world, disappointing people would be in third place. And it hadn’t even been his fault. He hadn’t intentionally led her on. He hadn’t realised that it was a date in the first place, notably because there was supposed to have been four of them, only Kenny had got sick at the last minute and Scott had conveniently had ‘something come up’.

Yeah, right. The flat Earth theory was more believable, not to mention the fact that his brother had then texted him good luck. Also, this was the third night out on which Scott had abandoned him with some random stranger in an excruciatingly romantic setting. Restaurants with friends were fine, but not when it was just you and a person who you only knew vaguely but whom Scott had seemingly befriended despite only having been on campus to visit John for an extended weekend.

The spare key scratched in the lock, then the door squeaked open. Scott fumbled for the light switch and promptly let out an undignified yelp.

“Jeezus, Johnny.” He kicked the door shut and dumped his jacket on the kitchen counter. “What the hell, man? Why are you sitting in the dark?” He winced. “I take it the date didn’t go so well?”

“You set me up.”

John had been aiming for a neutral accusation, but his voice sounded a little more betrayed and upset than he cared to let on. He settled for scowling at Scott, but quickly grew tired of this. Frankly, he was just exhausted full stop. He was half-tempted to forget the whole experience and go to bed early. But he’d learnt that problems didn’t miraculously vanish if you ignored them, which was a shame given that was his preferred strategy. So, if he didn’t discuss this with Scott then it would be a recurring issue and he was so done with unwanted, spontaneous blind dates.

So.

Scott pried open the fridge on the hunt for the beers he’d stashed there earlier. “You make it sound like I framed you for murder.”

Logically, John knew Scott meant well. But his teasing tone was just irritating. He was unintentionally making light of a subject that was actually pretty serious and John sort of wanted to strangle him.

“It’s not funny.”

“It’s a little funny.” Scott cracked open the bottle with his key. “Was it that bad? She seemed like a nice girl. You said Adam wasn’t your type, so I figured… Anyway. It’s chill. We’ll find you someone eventually. And hey, I’m here for a few more days. I’m an excellent wingman. Ha, literally.”

“Scott, this isn’t-” John cut himself off and took a deep breath to calm down. He tried again once he was certain that his voice was steadier. “Can we talk?”

“Oh, boy,” Scott joked, slightly muffled as he bent down to unlace his shoes. “Sounds serious.” He glanced up when there was no reply and caught John’s unimpressed stare. “Oh, shit. Okay. Sorry. Give me a minute.”

He kicked his sneakers onto the mat and sank into a chair opposite, cradling his drink between his hands. There was a glint of humour in his eyes, presumably aided by whatever he’d drunk at the bar he’d vanished to for the evening, but to give him credit he did seem to be earnest about listening.

John dropped his gaze to the whorls in the table. There was a faint blue stain from spilled ink when he’d been working formulae out on paper earlier in the semester and he focussed on that to keep himself from overthinking and letting the matter drop again.

“You’ve got to stop trying to set me up with people.”

He was speaking too fast so that the words seemed to blur together, unable to shake the nerves that came with explaining this aspect of his self to people because more often than not they didn’t understand and told him that he just hadn’t found the right person. It was bad enough hearing that from anyone but not from family. He wasn’t sure what to say if Scott didn’t get it.

He continued in a rush before Scott could get a word in edgeways, “I know you mean well, but it makes me really uncomfortable. I don’t want to date anyone. Adam wasn’t my type, but Becca isn’t either, because I don’t have a type. I’m not interested in people like that. I have friends and family and that’s all I want. So, please stop tricking me into dates because it will never lead anywhere.”

There was a brief pause. The silence was broken only by the distant wail of sirens across the city, the hum of the refrigerator and indistinct voices from the apartment across the hallway. John finally risked a glance up to glimpse Scott’s guilty expression.

“Can you say something?”

“What? Oh, yeah. Sorry. I- Shit, John. I’m sorry. I didn’t realise…” Scott sat back in his chair and laced his hands behind his head with a self-deprecating chuckle. “I’m an idiot. Sorry. Oh, God, I’m the worst. I spent this whole weekend trying to- I am so sorry, Johnny.”

“That had the potential to be a great apology, but then you had to ruin it by calling me Johnny.”

Scott stared at him for a long moment, evidently trying to repress laughter. “Are we good?”

“Yeah, we’re good.” John stole the bottle and took a cautious sip. “What the hell is this? Are you drinking battery acid? This is disgusting.” He twisted it to spy the label. “I’ve never even heard of this brand. Where did you get it?”

Scott made a vague gesture which translated to you don’t want to know. Which was correct, because John really, really didn’t want to know. He slid the bottle – which most definitely wasn’t beer – back to his brother and got up to find something to rid the taste from his mouth.

“So,” Scott called, still lounging at the table. “How long have you known?”

John shrugged, then realised he was hidden behind the fridge door. “Uh, a while. Since high school, anyway.”

It was slowly dawning on him that he hadn’t actually eaten anything except free bread in the restaurant, shortly before he’d made his excuses and fled. He shoved a box of leftover takeout into the microwave and leant back against the counter to wait.

Scott was staring down at the table where light from the street was spilling through the curtains. There was a certain tension in his shoulders which betrayed the fact he was secretly upset. He didn’t look up as he asked, quietly and uneasily, “Were you afraid to tell me? Because if so, I’m sorry. I never intended to make you feel that way.”

John hesitated, then glimpsed the flash of pure panic in Scott’s eyes.

“No,” he confessed. “I wasn’t afraid of telling you. I’m just tired, I guess. College is… I’m here to learn. A lot of people seem to be here for casual hook ups and parties. So, I’m constantly having to explain that I’m not interested in any of that and after a while it becomes tiring. It’s not a one-time experience. Every time I meet someone new and the topic turns to relationships, I have to… well, come out, I suppose. So, I’m tired of it. But that’s not your fault.”

“I just feel like I should have realised.”

“Not necessarily.”

“I bet Virgil realised.” Scott drummed a hand against the bottle with a sigh. “I thought you were just shy. But now- Yeah, it makes a lot of sense. I still feel like an idiot, though.”

“Oh, you are an idiot,” John informed him. “But not for this reason.”

“Thanks,” Scott deadpanned. He scrubbed a hand through his hair, looking a little less guilty and more genuinely curious as John carried the takeout over to the table and sat back down. “So, is there a specific label you use?”

John raised a brow. “Do I have to use a label?”

“No,” Scott replied quickly. “I was just wondering. Because if there is, then I want to be able to look it up and do some research. I mean, this is who you are, John. Of course I want to understand that better.”

Sometimes – this weekend being a prime example – Scott could be an absolute idiot. But he was an idiot with good intentions. And, right now, John was reminded that he was actually pretty fond of this idiot for a reason.

“Are you going to remember this?” he asked.

Scott flipped his phone out of his pocket and opened a new note. “Yep.”

“Look up the terms aromantic and asexual. Then come back to me if you have further questions.”

“Cool, cool, cool.”

John offered him a spare fork and slid the takeout into the centre of the table. For a few moments, they ate in silence. He was surprised by just how much lighter he felt, unaware that the issue had been worrying him.

“Hey, John?” Scott had that soft, proud smile again, the same one that he’d worn when watching one of Virgil’s concerts or Gordon’s swim races. “Thanks for telling me.”

John fought back a smile of his own. “No more dates, okay?”

Scott held up his hands. “I promise.”

[spiderwarden]

*draws gun on the dash* and for the love of God, don't ever softblock me. I loathe that. I have structured my blog to people I like, if you want to unfollow me just unfollow. we don't have to be mutuals for me to enjoy your content.

[dazais-guardian-angel]

BIG BSD WINS TODAY: the daughters x2 finally returned, Kenji and Tecchou friendship is real and true, ATSUSHI AND FYODOR FINALLY MET AFTER 118 FUCKING CHAPTERS, and most importantly of all, WE ARE INCEST FREE BABEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[silusvesuius]

i legit love when a character's gender is so integral to their personality (and perception obviously.) like so concrete that if genderbent their whole shtick would just be absolute dookie. anyways i'm just writing this text so i can talk in the tags (My beautiful safe haven)

this 14 minute song is soooooooooooo FYRE

[whysamwhy123]

Any unpopular opinions?

(Sleepover Sunday, I guess, because I'm only getting to this now, whoops!) ALL I HAVE ARE UNPOPULAR OPINIONS, LOL. Seriously, I'm lucky I only have, like, seven followers because otherwise I'd be chased off this website with torches and pitchforks. I'll try to give a mildly spicy one and not to be too much of a bitch...we'll see...

Toni Storm's current character/gimmick is A THOUSAND times more creative and original than anything any man on that roster has done in YEARS. And the fact that she's not on this PPV card is a fucking travesty. But I'm not surprised because TK hates women, and wrestling fans simply do not show up for women's wrestling the same way they do for boring white guys doing the most generic, tired, old Heel 101 bullshit 🙂🙂🙂

Ah, fuck it, one more because I bitch about this every week anyways - that Nigel wanker on Collision is one of the worst commentators I've ever heard. He's so annoying! He spends more time putting himself over than the talent in the ring (literally the opposite of a commentator's job) and he clearly has no respect for the women because as soon as a women's match starts, he immediately starts talking about unrelated male wrestlers. Or just himself! And that's when he's not making pervy comments about them - dude makes JR sound like a feminist icon by comparison. I am uncooly judging everyone on here who thirsts over him. Come on, people, standards! Y'all gonna start thirsting over the Qanon moron next?

[theater-of-dimensions]

I just found the cutest worm in my apple 🥺 it was a very nice orangey salmon pink and like 3 mm long

[caninecowboy]

crying screaming throwing up etc etc etc

[chronologicalimplosion]

[[Screenshot ID: A twitter thread by sjklapecwriting that says:

The fact that "AI = what makes NPCs in video games do things" and "AI = complex scientific models that have been in use for years" and "AI = non-generative tools that automate tedious processes" and "AI = generative tools" are all called AI feels like deliberate obfuscation.

I want good AI in video games but I also don't want AI in video games at all and I think AI is useful in the sciences but don't trust AI at all to be used in science or medicine or law and AI to colour-correct a video or remove greenscreen is cool but AI generating movies sucks.

We talk about things that threaten art and creativity and steal vast quantities of work from artists and burn the amazon and drain the seas to do it all with the same language as something that can track a part of a video so special effects are easier to make and that sucks.

And this obfuscation feels so deliberate to me, because now people freak out if someone talks about wanting to use "AI that learns from the player" or "an AI solution to help me edit video" or "an AI that can be used to generate theoretical materials to test" and they look silly.

Because now "AI" is so firmly wrapped up with the concept of "generative models" that people are, rightfully, on guard against any mention of AI whatsoever to the point where entirely distinct technologies get uselessly criticized under the same umbrella.

Like imagine if we had no other language but "tank" to describe motor vehicles, so if I said we needed "public transit vehicles" everyone thought I wanted M1A1 Abrams for civilian transit. That's what it's like talking about AI.

End ID]]

[mrfoox]

Having troublesome relationships with an parent and being very aware of that and the navigating other relationships is fucking insanely hard.

Oh they share a trait? Does that mean they're similar in the shitty ways too? This response reminded me of my parent. I need to run. But they didn't do anything? But what if they're like them? Run away

[night-dragon937]

i hate my emotions can i exchange them for ones that make sense please

[sunderwight]

Headcanon that Shen Yuan was hotter than Shen Qingqiu, actually.

Like yeah SQQ being a cultivator gave him a boost to enough attributes + being in a stallion novel where everyone is either unrealistic hot or dog's butt ugly got the Shen Qingqiu body extra points, and he wasn't bad looking to begin with. Plus not being ill is vastly more important to the new Shen Qingqiu than those extra hotness points (Without a Cure notwithstanding). But part of the reason why he's kind of like, meh, at least I'm not hideous or anything, is because Shen Yuan's original body was a knock out.

I also like him as chronically ill, and, as many people know, beauty standards and sustained suffering are not as incompatible as they should be. Shen Yuan was conventionally attractive in part because conventional beauty standards seem to want everyone slowly dying all the time. But even setting that aside, the man had flawless bone structure, an appealing figure, captivating eyes, and the kind of voice that stopped people in their tracks.

All of which was a contributing factor to his antisocial lifestyle, actually. Despite the fact that Shen Yuan does enjoy company and requires a certain baseline of social enrichment for his enclosure, his internalized homophobia and closeting did not play well with overtures from interested parties (regardless of gender). The only way to minimize the odds of him being asked out on dates was to essentially become a shut-in, especially since even Shen Yuan can only make so many excuses before he himself starts to notice that he's going to a lot of effort to avoid specifically that avenue of socialization. Far better to just remove himself from any risk of it, and then vocally lament that oh no he's just too much of a nerd to get anywhere with women!

Anyway this largely doesn't matter much outside of sheer comedy potential for any situation where SY gets his old body/life back. Like imagine a reveal scenario where the System is going to transport them back to their old lives.

Shang Qinghua: well bro I guess this is gonna be the ultimate test of love, right?

Shen Yuan: what do you mean?

Shang Qinghua: our husbands are gonna see what we looked like back before we were glorious cultivators! they're going to have to track us down in our mundane, kinda shitty pre-transmigration lives! it's gonna be at least a little embarrassing, right?

Shen Yuan: *gets his old body back*

Shang Qinghua, normal human with average looks: ...

Shen Yuan, exemplary 11/10: ?

Shang Qinghua: what. the fuck?? bro what the fuck why are you hot???

Shen Yuan: don't make it weird

Shang Qinghua: make it weird??? why were you sitting at home reading my shitty novel when you could have been out there building your own harem???

Shen Yuan: stop exaggerating

Shang Qinghua: oh my god you've always been like this. this is it, isn't it? it wasn't even brain damage from the transmigration or something--

Shen Yuan: hey

Shang Qinghua: --you've just always been completely unaware, haven't you? every time I wrote a beautiful woman who didn't know her own appeal you'd be jumping down my throat--

Shen Yuan: because that's a stupid trope--!

Shang Qinghua: --JUMPING DOWN MY THROAT EXACTLY LIKE THAT but this whole time THIS WHOLE TIME it wasn't even a glow-up issue, you've just been that, personified, yourself--

Shen Yuan: look I know I'm not ugly but I'm not I'm hardly that good-looking

Shang Qinghua: YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO CRITICIZE THAT TROPE AGAIN! oh my god. how many broken hearts did you leave behind when you died?!

Shen Yuan: none, I wasn't even seeing anyone--

Shang Qinghua: yeah full offense but I am nottt taking your word for that. I bet you had a harem you didn't know about in this lifetime too. I bet you had a fan club, like an anime prince

Shen Yuan: *mumbling*

Shang Qinghua: what was that?

Shen Yuan: I said... only in high school...

Shang Qinghua: oh my god

Shen Yuan: it wasn't a big deal!

Shang Qinghua: *frantically trying to see if he can find any trace of it on the internet now*

[luwha]

LMAO so, recently someone tried to SCAM me, so i'll show you what happened and the telltales of it being a scam.

This one is quite obvious but i know people who are just starting their artist careers and might not have experiece.

Follow the thread:

🚩#1: They pick your most famous/Popular art as reference. They don't know what you actually sell.

🚩#2: They will pick a random popular character. They're not roleplayers or anything. They're not here for the art in any level

You ask me, what are the odds they really like Goku? Oh, well, you'll see. At this point i check their profile for anythign that might indicate it, but as you'll see you won't have to.

🚩#3: They say they saw my ToS. On it i state i only work with paypal and google forms.

🚩#4: Random issue with payment method. They might have a real problem with it, but see; they'll never ever accept any other payment method, such as Zelle, CashApp, Payoneer, Ko-fi, etc.

I already knew this drill so, let's continue.

🚩#5: I love playing dumb lmao. Anyway, this scam revolves on them either sending you "too much money" and asking it back or something like it. I won't be following through because i know it'll be annoying.

BE ADAMANT WITH YOUR METHODS. Do NOT EVER bend them for randos.

🚩#6: They're so ready with the info on how the payment works it's fucking funny.

The reason I PERSONALLY use PayPal INVOICES (no any other payment within paypal) is that they're safe for both me and my client. My rules are stated clearly.

MAKE A ToS I BEG YOU YOUNG ARTIST

🚩#7: They're not even a good scammer lmao they REFUSE to go on my PROFILE to get a link or read anything.

I use Forms because it collects the client requests and it's easier for me to read it all in one place. It ALSO makes scammers bored.

🚩#8: They're so disinterested on the art they don't care for posing, vibes, colors, nothing. Again, they're NOT here for art. That's hilarious.

🚩#8: Same as above. They don't care for posing or anything.

On my art they link me, i have a vampire almost staking himself in a state of euphoria.

IMAGINE VAMPIRE GOKU STAKING HIMSELF THAT'S SO FUCKIGN FUNNY MY BRO, THINK YOUR SCAM THROUGH MAYBE

🚩#9: They will price your own work for you. And they'll overshot what we, smaller artists, charge for it.

They'll overshot by a lot.

They want you to be impressed and showing "generosity" usually gets people who need monay into risky situations. That's just plain cruel.

🚩#9: Same as above. Over generosity and eagerness to pay.

They're not even with the sketch, this haven't been an hour, they don't have any work form me but OH GOD they're SO READY to pay you NEED TO KNOW they WANTS TO PAY YOU SO BAD

Lmao yeah it's working out ❤️

THIS ONE IS JUST HILARIOUS BRO I CAN'T EVEN.

ANYWAY let's continue

🚩#10: They don't know me. They don't follow me. They broke every rule on my ToS. They're making me go through a payment method i am unfamiliar and don't use.

They don't care for my process. They're not interested on my sketch.

BE. ADAMANT. ABOUT. YOUR. RULES. AND. PROCESS.

Now, for the beautiful closure of this:

Have a ToS. Don't bend the rules for randos.

Use Invoices. Be sure you're safe.

Use forms if you'd like. Requests through DM and Discord ARE COMMON FOR OTHER ARTISTS. I personally don't like it, i have ADHD.

Being an artist on an online space is dangerous. If you need help, poke an artist you know, see how they operate and if it fits you. Most of them would help you.

🚩#11: goku isn't even on their icon 😭

This is the account that tried to scam me.

#art is life ❤️

[alisharoyal]

Last one

Please rb for sample size :) and if you want share your reasoning in the tags

[cutieln4]

Kiss and Makeup | LN4 smau

lando norris x reader

summary: you are lando norris's makeup artist

fc: isabela merced

yourusername added to their story

caption: my face after waking up at 4 am to do ppl’s makeup

yourusername

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yourusername my life recently

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yourbsf you’re GLOWING babe

mclaren check DMs!

mclaren added to their story

caption: New stuff coming soon🤭

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user1 oh wow he's so handsome

user2 OMG IM SO HAPPY

user3 YAY NEW LANDO CONTENT

mclaren

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mclaren Some new bags have been released with our partnership with Tumi, check them out below!

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user1 he's so—HJQHSJCHJW

user2 wow😋

user3 i want to bite him

user4 I NEED HIM SO BAD

user5 anything you say sweetheart😍

user6 #needthat

user7 i'll cook and clean the dishes just one chance plsss

yourusername

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yourusername it was nice doing something else! thanks for having me! @/mclaren

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yourbsf remember me when you're famous😔

user1 IM SO JEALOUS

mclaren thanks for joining us!

user2 how does one get this job

landonorris thanks for letting me look at all ur powders!

yourusername haha ofc, anytime!

user3 OMG LANDO COMMENTED

user4 lando commented what does this meannnnnnn

landonorris

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landonorris gearing up for the next race

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user1 P1 i see the vision

user2 i love that helmet

magui_corceiro good luck!

user3 letsssgoo

yourusername good luck!

landonorris thank you! ;)

user4 🤨

user5 ?????

yourusername

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yourusername anyway i also have a life

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yourbsf body is tea tho

yourbsf GORGEOUS

user1 face card never declines

user2 i fear you are serving

landonorris pretty

yourusername thank you😊

user3 OHHHHH

user4 RIZZ?????

user5 oh to have lando norris call me pretty

user6 guys is this the start of something new?

user7 alright chill out zac efron

GQ

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GQ Racing, gaming, and padel, hear all about Lando Norris in his interview here

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user1 WOWZA

user2 another photoshoot? please tell me y/n was his makeup artist

user3 ZOO WEE MAMA🥵

user4 lando has been feeding us lately

user5 i can't handle this anymore

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caption: bros messing up the makeup😐

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user1 IM SO JEALOUS

user2 soooo are yall dating or what?

landonorris oops?

landonorris

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landonorris that's more like it

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user1 LANDO NORRIS 2X GRAND PRIX WINNER

user2 absolute domination today

user3 congrats!!

yourusername invite me next time?

landonorris yes ma'am🫡

user4 WHAT DOES THIS MEANNNNN

user5 im sick of them

maxfewtrell put a shirt on mate

user6 no we don't mind😊

yourusername

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yourusername who is this diva????

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user1 HELP I LOVE HER

user2 my b pose is naaastyyy

user3 he's so handsome

landonorris it's not too late to delete

yourusername but what fun is that???

user4 🚢🚢🚢

user5 so so jealous

user6 is she just like his permanent makeup artist now lol?

yourusername yeah he kidnapped me

landonorris for legal reasons this is a joke😑

user7 OMG

tumitravel

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tumitravel Lando Norris for TUMI

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user1 ok i'll buy the bag

user2 does lando come with the bag???

user3 yn is one lucky girl

user4 love how y'all just assume their dating

user3 well yes

user5 HOLY MOLY

yourusername wow whoever did his makeup must be really good

landonorris meh shes okay

user6 stop i love them

lando.jpg

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user1 HELP WHOS CAT IS THAT

user2 who u making heart pizza with??🤨

user3 if i say what i wanna say they'll silence me

user3 they're so dating

user4 🤫

yourusername aw cute cat

landonorris thx :)

user5 let me just sit back and observe

user6 yesss lando.jpg revival finally

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user1 where ya going?🙂

yourbsf gonna miss u when ur in singapore :(

user2 y'all so cute idec if you're dating or not

landonorris

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landonorris sing a pore

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user1 bruh

user2 hard launch on live tv goes crazy

user3 bro's just gonna ignore that EVERYONE saw that kiss

yourusername you can't keep a secret to save your life

landonorris oops🤭

yourusername you're lucky ur cute

user4 CONFIRMATION YES

user5 WAR IS OVER

user6 I WAS HERE

user7 okay but that was so fricking cute

yourusername

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yourusername muppet🙄

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user1 HELP

landonorris i said i was sorry pls

landonorris sorry again😁😁😁

landonorris where did you get these photos

user2 nahh that's crazy

user3 okay now i'm definitely jealous

user4 this is literally a wattpad story like wdym she's his makeup artist and now they're dating???

yourbsf i'd like to thank beyoncé

taglist: @evasmlp @partnerincrime0 @r0nnsblog @raizelchrysanderoctavius @daniiiboo @wisestarfishbouquet @noodleysalad @thatgirlwholikescars @jxnellat @blakebearsblog @angelluv444 @pretty-little-bunny382728 @etterdotexe @scopeiguess @noope306 @burning8wood @styl1shl1v @venusandstardust @daniellef89x @nzygftoji @laheykol06 @blodwyn4u @allthings-fandoms @woozarts @astroniii @lilorose25 @dejavuontrack @xxx-betty @wobblymug @m3ntally-unstable @armystay89 @sarakay-gvf @kar1nsworldx @velentine @rexit-mo @blodwyn4u @lammys-thinking @sam02009 @kaorisakamotofan @taylorsvogue13 @loveparkersblog @delicatetrashtree @hashmiya @noodleboyluke @crispysoup318 @kisssleeping @comicalivy @lilypat @superlegend216 @pakotrzl @heavy-vettel @ilivbullyingjeongin @theblueblub @bloodyymaryyy @stressed-cherry @da-writer @chemiru @ks001

add yourself to my taglist here!

[warthogreporter]

A second look at the human fucker community on monster tumblr

🧜‍♀️ Hermaid Follow

After a while you start to notice some trends in how people talk about fucking their hoomans

Vampires: This is Brother Reginald Regicus Regicum who I slowly corrupted and tempted with earthly desires across several long years until he became a creature of the night like myself. We're throwing his one year vampirization party in a month, here's the invite, if you don't come it's a personal insult, to me.

Orcs: This is Himby the Himbo who I snagged in some raid I did because I got bored on my way to the grocery store. It's funny when I make him wear cat ears.

🐻 Beard-Toucher Follow

Demons: These are Sir Good and Sir Goody. I make them wear matching collars because of how they were all but boyfriends before I enthralled them with my dark magic. You noticed their matching collars right?

Werewolves: You'll never believe this, but my human Stucky, who used to be called Lady Stuck Up, was actually a repressed and stuck up person before I helped her embrace her wild side TM.

🐍 Scaled-Scales-Scaling-Scales Follow

Naga: ...Anyway after spending 400,000 years praying I finally met the human who is the love of my life and we recited mantras together, after 200,000,000 years of this we began to *blushes* hold hands and then the gods...

Other kinds of dragons: This is King Dragonslayer the Unfucked. I use him as a display stand for my jewels when not fucking him.

(164,597 Notes)

🐙 WetterThanYou Follow

Showing the humans parts of their world they've never seen (the depths).

(9,846 Notes)

🐎 Seventaur-deactivated20230527 Follow

Man humans really are such pathetic creatures

🐎 Seventaur-deactivated20230527 Follow

Stop reblogging this as a human fucker post! I advocate for exterminating those pests! It's literally in my bio! Human Fuckers DNI!

👿PazuzuOfficial✅ Follow

Hey OP we need to 'talk' IRL. Don't bother turning on your location, I already know it.

(369 Notes)

🐺 HereWolf Follow

Seeing elves in human fucker communities is always such a "bro thinks he's on the team" moment. Oh yeah you're so different from humans with your pointy ears and... oh right that's literally it.

🛣️Elf-Hater Follow

Elves are like humans but lame and pretentious, even lame and pretentious humans are better. Eying a 'human' only to notice pointy ears is like biting into a blueberry muffin thinking it's a chocolate muffin, if blueberries tasted like shit.

🧝Elfeven Follow

🥺

🪓Orcasionally-Really-Cranky Follow

If it makes you feel better I fuck both humans and elves, just got back from a raid where I scored plenty of elves to make into my obedient little whores.

🧝Elfeven Follow

That doesn't make me feel better.

(685,734 Notes)

🦅Feathery Follow

Finally going to an actual human town. What do human eggs look like? Don't want to cause any problems by mistake.

🦋 Gregory-Grigori Follow

People on this webbed site will really just say anything about hoomans huh?

🐂 No-Yournotaur Follow

OP, humans don't lay eggs. It's weird that you thought they did. They're mammals.

🦅Feathery Follow

I thought they were like platypi no need to get up my ass about this

🐂 No-Yournotaur Follow

Okay you know what fair.

(5,873 Notes)

🦋 Gregory-Grigori Follow

I'd say good morning, but I didn't wake up with a beautiful human on each side of me so actually it was yet another mid morning.

(4,384 Notes)

Click here for part 1 and here for part 3

[cactusdodes]

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