#they're clinging bc It's What They Deserve
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ireneaesthetic · 3 days ago
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Pointing out little moments and details of the last yr scene.
wilmon endgame • episode 6
the camera work is so on point - it follows wille around moving frenetically, as to emphasize the hurry and the tension.
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simon gets in panic mode for a sec. he was never over wilhelm but definitely thought their relationship was.
at first he looks ... scared - not of wille but of what he feels for him at this point. he's still in love but they got to the finish line, they broke up with no idea of when or if they will talk to each other again, there's no reason for wille to chase after him if not to change something.
it makes his thoughts spiral, but somewhere in his little heart he has a lot of hope too and that's why he steps out of the car to hear what he has to say.
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these words really mean everything and i'm glad they're told directly to simon. it's such a sigh of relief for wilhelm to get this off his chest and mean it for real: he's doing something for his own sake finally - to be free, to be happy, to be in control of his own life for once.
he never got to choose anything - somebody else has always done it for him - but he no longer has to be afraid anymore.
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simon is just as relieved and the proudest: he proved over and over again to care so deeply. to see wilhelm constantly hurting inevitably hurt him too.
he knew wille was brave - he actually told him once - and he was so right. it takes a lot of courage to do what wille just did.
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shut up he's adorable :') playing with his fingers and trying not to break into a smile. he wants to look calm and collected but his heart is jumping out of happiness.
this comes after the are you sure you're over me? - breaking up was all it took for wille to think that simon must not love him anymore: to earn love and for everything to be perfect in order to deserve love is what his family and royal life always taught him - but simon's what the hell do you think? proves him so wrong.
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the tears in his eyes i cannot - this is the face of a man who's bursting out of love, he adores simon this much.
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they crush into the hug like they've been dying to do it. what a moment it must be for them to close the distance.
in this hug they find what they both were needing the most.
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they hold on to each other. emotions are so overwhelming and it's written all over their faces - it feels too good to be real.
it's almost scary to let go now and i love how they tighten the hug at the same time, clinging to make it last longer.
and they're at the same height so simon has to be on his tippy toes ahsjkh.
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oh the beauty in simon feeling every emotion to the fullest and letting them all out. he doesn't hold himself back and it is truly heartwarming to watch.
this hug is healing - he's giving joy to be back in wille's arms, proud of wille for putting himself first, relief because the fear of losing him was too much to handle.
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the single tear drop and the pure disbelief in his expression. he caresses wille's cheek and keeps looking at him like he's the most precious thing.
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doing the triangle method - again. old habits never die huh.
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wille letting simon choose to whether kiss him or not.
it's our simon we're talking about, the one that risked it all and initiated their very first kiss bc he liked wille that much already, so could he possibly not do that now? he obviously does and can't help but smile into it.
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they can't get enough of kissing and wandering hands. it's like their only way to make this become more and more real.
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fair to say they're kinda obsessed with each other's hair!
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love love looove the transition from them kissing in secret in the dark of the night to them kissing freely out in the open in the daylight - the most beautiful metaphor.
completely different plot points but the feelings involved are so familiar - reunion kisses are very much their brand: there's longing, passion, need to savor the moment to make it last.
and this time it can really last forever.
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something super special about simon not replying with i love you too but sticking to i love you - it is not just reciprocal.
this shot haunts me. it's from the documentary and idk why it wasn't used in the final cut, i'll make space for it here anyway!
wille can't stop smiling and simon never takes his eyes off of him - he's emotionally overwhelmed by the way he bites his lip and his chin trembles. my heart.
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no ray of sunshine between them could ever distract me from wilhelm diving into this kiss with his eyes open.
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simon is definitely being pulled closer by the waist here and i take it very personally.
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i was already full on sobbing when this part of the scene came up - sara and felice calling them out bc they are too caught up in their own bubble.
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they still take one more moment to just look at each other so fondly tho and try to get a grip on what has just happened.
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i get you wille! simon is the loml too.
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this shot is sooo!!! hillerska in the rear view mirror as they drive away - time for the last bittersweet goodbye.
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all of them are wearing white, they're driving off in a white car, most carefree than ever - sounds a lot like freedom and fresh start.
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some things never change - they're the most comfortable and happy when they can be just them, just like this.
god knows where they're headed but it doesn't really matter as long as they're together.
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wilmon endgame babyyyy.
they've been through so much but come so far eventually. it's the end of young royals but the beginning of a new chapter in wilmon story - the best one - and it's only theirs to write from now on.
it's still going to be tough, storms are still about to come their way and ruin plans, life is a mess but at least they have each other. they're holding hands in a we are in this together kind of promise and it's so reassuring to know.
it was a hell of a ride but love and hope wins - and there's truly no one who deserves it more than them.
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time to appreciate the comparison between wille the perfect crown prince and messy hair with undone shirt wille!
he looks at the audience for the very last time with the most content smile and we can tell he really is - ready. to leave us behind, to face the future, to experience life in the way we've seen him fight for before.
wilmon breaking the fourth wall together at the end would've been insane, but it feels so right to focus on wille actually: it's always been just him, it all started with our eyes on him and his journey, the choice to abdicate is for his own sake and not for simon - he said it himself - so for him to be alone in the closing shot makes the most sense to me.
wilhelm finally getting his own little family of people who loves and values him, simon sharing life with the person who's made him feel seen and cared for - this is honestly the best finale we could’ve ever asked for.
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softichill · 2 years ago
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Trigun.
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snekdood · 1 year ago
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like i really dont think ya understand the severity of the abuse- even aside from the sexual abuse-
i have bpd and come from a home where im not validated very well (obviously, bc thats what makes ppl bpd in the first place). i meet this person who validates me in every way i could possibly imagine or want (love bombing). they pretend to like me so much that they start to become like me and pick up traits of mine they like the most. they know they have a hold over me and power over me bc i didnt know how to validate myself and they were the only source of validation i had. so then they go ahead and start invalidating me and acting like im less of me and theyre somehow more of me. i knew who i was deep down but suddenly i felt unseen again and silenced and pushed into a corner. and then they act like im a horrible person (discarding phase) and serve me an entirely different version of me thats not who i am, but bc i didnt know how to validate myself and was reliant on them (something thats particularly important for this type of abuse to work), it made me question myself and who i was and what i was like and what my intentions were and what my actions were and if i could even trust my own reality all over again when i really didn’t fucking need to since i knew who i was deep down, but they somehow convinced me they knew me better. because i was reliant on them. i dont think you understand how much that fucks with you.
#vent#this is why i kind of find it hard not to cling to the term 'narcissistic abuse' since this is verbatim what happens in that type of abuse.#based on everything ive read.#again. i dont personally think it necessarily has anything to do w ppl with npd. narcissism as a term existed before the diagnosis.#it means someone whos selfish and only looks out for themselves and will do anything for themselves even at the expense of others.#and literally EVERYTHING ELSE people online have said about this type of abuse happened.#the smear campaign. the sending people after me to stalk me and get info out of me. the apparently never leaving me alone as evidenced#by that anon recently.#oh and- cant forget accusing me of everything they did but 10x worse somehow.#if a certain type of abuse can be predicted so well and so many people have had the same experience or similar enough experiences#i dont see why it doesnt deserve its own term. we just have to divorce it from the idea of npd. maybe give it a different name.#because its really not *just* emotional abuse. sorry.#its so much more than that and so much more strategic.#and this is why even though i didnt think of them as being exactly like zero before i still thought of them as being vampiric.#bc they tried to drain me of my energy and who i was.#but nowadays i can really see the similarities. if only they were rich and had institutional power and paid politicans to oppress#minorities. then theyd be the same person. but im not gonna sit here and pretend thats the case. they're similar to him in so many ways but#theyre not the same person. im obviously able to fucking recognize that.#in spite of them pretending like i cant.#now if that ends up secretly being the case... well....#might be harder for me to divorce them from being similar lmao.#but so far i dont have enough evidence to confidently say that.
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melodic-haze · 6 months ago
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Personally how touched starved do you think Arlecchino and Furina are? Like one has been alone for 500 years and the other killed her best friend and probably doesn’t think she deserves love.
☆ — DEMO TRACK: Arlecchino x Reader, Furina x Reader
☆ — TYPE: SFW
☆ — CONTENT WARNINGS: N/A
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Oh I think they'd be VERY fucking touch starved, except the two are like. On two different sides of the scale
On one end, you've got Furina. On the other end, you've got Arlecchino. What they're on a scale of? How "vocal" they would be in terms of it
Furina would be on the VERY vocal side, and by that I mean she WILL monologue to you about how she needs your touch or else she will PERISH from a lack of you-contact
Furina puts the back of her hand on her forehead, "My beloved wants to leave me be! Oh, you torture me..."
"Babe, I'm literally only going to get a glass of water."
"You forget my domain over the element!" She moves to throw herself onto you, wrapping her arms around your neck and causing you to laugh as you caught her, "I can satisfy your needs easily!"
"At that rate I'll be better off taking a shower!"
"It gets the job done!"
But she's not vocal for no reason :((( 500 years spent in self-isolation in order to save her people takes a HUGE toll on you so the moment Furina had realised that she doesn't have to do the whole song and dance all over again, she just can't help the want—the need—to basically be attached to you
It's not just because she wants to make up for lost time after FINALLY being able to do so, but also because she's scared that one day it'll all just go poof and disappear in a distant dream. She doesn't speak of her troubles until either she decides it herself that she should or one of the members of her Salon Solitaire (Crabaletta lol) decides to conk her for it
Sometimes she'll ask if she's being a pain in the ass bc she IS aware that she's constantly wanting for you to at LEAST be near her which. If you say she is then I need to sit you down personally and slap you in NOT a fun way
Meanwhile, Arlecchino on the other hand, is VERY quiet about it. She won't say anything, nevermind doing anything. She'd restrict herself from clinging onto you as much as she'd like to
You were a vision to her, a lovely sight to see and a lovely voice to hear as you recounted your day's events. Even when you did something so mundane, something that isn't necessarily something special, Arlecchino still looked at you with such adoration.
She almost didn't notice her hand inching closer towards yours from her warm daze.
Almost.
Before she could draw it back unnoticed, however, you turned your head at just the right (or wrong) time.
"Arlecchino? Is there.. something wrong?"
..She shakes her head instead of admitting her desires, "No, my apologies, darling. I was rather captivated by your tale. Do tell me more about your friend's predicament."
And so you do, but you couldn't help but notice the longing look in her eyes.
It takes a while before she starts warming up to the idea of letting herself actually do SOMETHING. And that'll take a lot of time, patience and encouragement from her❗️❗️❗️ But trust when I say it's worth it bc she practically treats you with so much more affection and devotion than the literal archon she serves HAHA
She doesn't thinks she deserves to show physical affection, to touch you, to truly worship you and your body in every way she can—not when she has the power to hurt you, not when she's killed off the person she had cherished the most all those years ago :(
You gotta reassure her that everything's okay and that you won't disappear bc once you've done that? She's SO TOUCHY she will NOT go through the day without havign some form of contact with you
She won't do it as much in work though she has a reputation she wants to keep lmao
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cabinetduo · 9 months ago
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sunnys admin deserves an award or something bcs their understanding of their character is completely unmatched. that thing sunnys doing where bcs tubbo died she was talking to her rabbit, who was moon, and got upset at him for 'saying mean things about tubbo' is. first of all it's all set up so well but the emotional conflict is literally set up from the day we meet sunny.
She's violently hypersensitive but most importantly she has abandonment issues like no other. Every other second she's on screen from the moment we meet her she's begging her father not to leave her in any capacity clinging to him like a lifeline nonstop. When he leaves for purgatory 2 it devastates her to the point where when theyre saying theyre goodbyes as she heads to bed she can't even acknowledge him leaving as like a viable thing that's happening. tubbo apologizes that hes being dragged away and she goes "it's okay bcs your not leaving me pa"
When tubbo comes back and it's clear he values his own life less and less everyday sunny makes sure that after every morbid comment he assures them that he's not gonna die. he's not going to leave her anytime soon bcs she needs him. she says it so so many times. she needs him. Even outside of tubbo sunny clings onto what she loves hard with her "MY pas" and her "MY panadas" and her "MY mustache boy" I've said this before but she's so 'everything I let go of has claw marks on it' coded
So. When tubbo like, fully dies, ofc she barely processes it. she makes a cake at home all by herself and travels all the way to his corpse to share it with him bcs he's a mermaid like her Ma now. Except they know he's dead and all the empty promises of him promising no matter what he would never leave her fester in her so she handles it the way she handles most of her negative emotions. she separates them from her bcs theyre too big to handle and lets moon do it. She scolds him for saying mean things abt her pa who she loves more than anything but that doesn't stop her from feeling like he failed her, he abandoned her, he broke his promises. They're just a little baby :((
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the-kr8tor · 8 months ago
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hiii katyy. how are youuu?
i've just started my first Real job and i hate it with my whole heart. fuck gastro.
could i please request gn!r coming home after work tired af and hobie just comforting and reassuring them?
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Thank you both for requesting! I combined your requests bc they're pretty similar. Hope that's okay! Ly ly 😘❤️❤️❤️
Pairing: Hobie Brown x gn! Reader/ Spider-Punk x gn! Reader
Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, Fluff.
ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ
You're so tired that you can barely keep your eyes open. The bag slung over your shoulder seems to weigh a ton, shoes feeling like cinder blocks beneath your fleet. And muscles being pulled apart with every step you take on the steep staircase.
With your crappy luck, the building’s elevator seems to not work at all. Head placed on your flat’s door, you tiredly insert your key into the lock. Sighing like the world dropped on your head, you finally make it inside. At the same time, Hobie finally unlocks the latch on your window.
You both freeze in place. Hobie's body is half climbing out of the window sill. He's still in his suit, soot and dirt clinging on the leather and spandex. His mask torn at the left side of his face, showing you tuffs of his hair and battered eye. Looks like you both had a hard day.
“Evenin’ love.” He says with a lopsided smile, “you look worse than me.”
“You should look in the mirror, Hobie.” Despite the comment, you quickly toe off your shoes to cross the small distance. Arms raised, frown deepening with every step. He catches you, half sitting on the sill, strong yet fatigued arms enveloping around you. “Oh you smell worse.” With a chuckle, you bury your face on the crook of his neck.
He hums, nosing your temple. “Fought goblin in the sewage.” Pecking the side of your head, he thinks that you would flinch away, but instead you melt further into him. “Fuckin' hell, really?” Laughing, his knuckles glide along your sore spine.
“Mm-hmm,” you know he's joking based on the lack of gross smells, so you cuddle him tighter. Sniffing dramatically, you smile against his neck. “Better than any expensive perfume out there.”
“Weirdo,” poking your side, he taps your legs, to which you understood wordlessly. Wrapping your legs around his waist, he stands up, carrying you across the flat effortlessly. “Who do I have to beat up at your job, hm? Jake stealin’ your lunch again?”
“I wanna quit.” You whine, lifting your head up, you see a grinning Hobie. “I'm joking.”
“You know what they say, Jokes are half meant, love.” Patting your bottom, he fixes his hold on you. “Shower or dinner?”
“Neither, I just wanna lie down.”
“I'll do you one better.” You crane your neck up from his skin, waiting in anticipation. “We take a shower and then we eat dinner in bed.”
Heavy head on his shoulder, you look at him with stars in your eyes. With your warm hand, you thank him with a pat and a kiss on his cheek. “What did I do to deserve you?”
“You stole my line.” Smiling, he leans his cheek closer to your lips. “I should be the one saying that.” Whispering softly, he moves his head to face your tired eyes. “You're doin' a good job, I hope you know that.” Your heart squeezes in your chest.
“And you're doing fantastic work out there.” You place the pads of your fingers to knead gently at the knot in between his eyebrows. “Better than anyone could do, better than I could do.”
“Don't compare, love. I can't do what you can.”
“And I can't do what you can.”
“Well maybe you can, I'll find you a radioactive spider and we'll see.” You laugh wholeheartedly, and he feels like he has the entire world in his arms.
“How about that shower then?” With those words, he hitches you higher in his arms, stomach laying on his shoulder, warm hands protectively holding you in place. You giggle, smacking his backside playfully.
“Thank you for reminding me!” Hobie's own laughter echoes throughout the space whilst he carries you towards the bathroom like a sack of rice. “You better ready those hands for scrubbing!”
With a screech and a loud smack on his ass from you, Hobie shuts the bathroom door closed. Fatigue melting off the both of you with every laughter.
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cringefailvox · 5 months ago
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Yooo you have an Alastor + Vaggie-centric AU 👀👀👀 what are some of the details if you don’t mind me asking jagsjajhsjsk
OKAY SO. back in april, birdsaretoddlers and i were talking about the potential hilarity of a vaggie/charlie/alastor poly dynamic and then we accidentally got way too into vaggie/alastor as a concept, which spiraled into a whole au that has unfortunately not left the discord server but MAYBE. SOMEDAY......
the barest bones of it are essentially that vaggie represents everything that alastor finds most pathetic & baffling in other people: dogged, singular loyalty to a cause & a person based on sheer loving devotion, with no ulterior motives or plans beyond protecting and supporting that person. and of course she rubs him the wrong way extremely frequently, just as much as he gets on her nerves. she's nearly codependent with charlie while alastor would rather chew off his own foot than be tethered to someone in that way. he's the type of sinner who exemplified vaggie's mission as an exorcist, the kind of demon she wouldn't have thought twice about cutting down because he clearly deserves it. he's never felt remorse in his life and vaggie has been walking on her knees for a thousand miles in the desert repenting since the day she fell. they are diametrically opposed.
AND YET. alastor recognizes a lot of his own traits in her as well! she's guarded, secretive, violent, has a lot of trust issues, and possessive of what she considers hers. alastor knows exactly what that's like. but vaggie is mystifying to him, because he cannot for the love of g-d understand what kind of sentimental nonsense could drive her to recklessly put her life on the line for charlie over and over and over again, with no regard for her own safety and NO other motivations besides?? LOVE??? sounds fake but ok.
vaggie also sees some of herself in alastor too, as much as it rankles—she's reminded viscerally of herself in the early days after losing her wings and her eye, suspicious and traumatized and deeply mistrustful of charlie's good intentions. couldn't even fathom that kindness could be genuine in hell. she looks at alastor and all of his trust issues and decides "redeeming this guy is impossible, but i really think i could at least get him to stop biting," you know, like you'd think about a reactive shelter dog who keeps growling at your handful of treats. you'll never be able to take that dog out in public without a lot of precautions and low expectations, but at least at home, it'll trust you not to hurt it if it lays its head in your lap.
for alastor's part, his whole interest in vaggie starts off as a way to cuddle up to charlie (and piss off lucifer), but he rapidly gets way too invested because there's no such thing as doing anything ironically for long, and it's kind of his Move, yk? he worms relentlessly into someone's life until he firmly has their attention, and then when he realizes he's in too deep and tries to withdraw and they cling, he's like "?? leave me alone??" (bird: "the ol vox special gets him literally nowhere") but now VAGGIE is invested too bc she's reluctantly fond of this creepy weirdo who eats deer carcasses in his room and for some reason let adam almost kill him defending the hotel, he doesn't get to just crawl away and die from his injury now that she's finally starting to like his freak ass. of course alastor is a nightmare patient and vaggie's bedside manner is atrocious so they're really bad at it. but they're trying and that's what matters!!
(also, charlie is weeping with joy in the background of all of this—her two biggest supporters, getting along!! kind of!! she's so proud of them both!!!! [alastor has completely forgotten that this venture started off as a way to manipulate charlie. get polycule'd, idiot]).
hopefully one day we'll manage to turn this into an actual fic, but for now enjoy these highlights :]
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lovemyromance · 22 days ago
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"All fated mates end up together and it's happily ever after."
Yeah that doesn't hold true if the author herself writes that Rhys & Tamlin's parents didn't have luck with their mating bond. She couldn't written them as just an unhappy marriage, arranged marriage (like LoA & Beron, Mor & Eris almost)... but she made them MATES.
Doesn't matter if they're abusive. If fate was ALL that mattered - SJM wouldn't have even included that little tidbit.
Why create a universe where all mates get together and then show us not one but two instances of mates being together and being miserable?
If fate is right every time - then there would be ZERO instances of a mating bond gone wrong. Abusive people wouldn't deserve partners - point blank.
Like you're telling me mates are so rare and a perfect pairing of souls - but fate decided to deal such a gift out to a BAD PERSON? What's more - Fate decided to PUNISH a good person by pairing them up with an abuser?
That's what you're oh so great romantic standard of fated mates love implies??? That's fucked. I'm sorry - I'm not afraid to say that's a CRAZY message to send.
What's more / SJM wrote that not all mates pairings work out in the same conversation about Feyre questioning Elain & Lucien's mating bond.
Regardless of what you want to believe about Elucien - that is a damning factor.
Their entire idea of Elucien depends on the fact that they are mates. If they weren't revealed to be mates already - nobody would have read their already limited interactions and come to the conclusion that "yeah ... these guys are giving 'mates'".
Don't tell me I'm wrong. We have been given nothing about their relationship or compatibility during interactions to show us this couple has chemistry and would fit well together.
You can sit here and pull out a screenshot from 2015, you can sit here and fantasize about Lucien clicking with the kind of social butterfly Elain was at age 13 (bc yeah people never change from their preeeten selves) ....
But nothing on the page - not even a wayward thought about the couple from her sisters or friends and family - has done anything to suggest this couple is compatible. In fact, MULTIPLE characters have done the opposite. They have questioned their bond and pointed out how uncomfortable Elain & Lucien are around each other.
Just because Lucien allegedly "fucks like fire" whateva that means and SJM said once they'd like nature together (btw she also said Tamlin was her favorite just the year before) ... doesn't mean even SJM is planning for them to be together.
Not when everything she has done SINCE they've been declared mates has been against Elucien. The only saving grace of the Elucien ship has always been "but they're mates!"
And even that shit went up in flames the moment SJM said sometimes mates don't work out.
If that wasn't enough - SJM continued to write this couple to have the most uncomfortable stiff interactions for the next 3 books.
She continued to have OTHER characters even witness their reluctance to be near each other.
She continued to go on talk shows, give her stamp of approval interviews that all talked about when fate pairs you with the wrong person, about wanting to explore a rejected mating bond.
There has been so much evidence against Elucien that I'm convinced even the people that cling to the "but they're mates " excuse know they're on a sinking lifeboat.
Literally WHO ELSE could the rejected mates theory be about if not the ONLY unacceptable mating bond we have in the series??
Why would it NOT be about Elain & Lucien is the real question.
"Because Lucien isn't abusive"
Ok... and yall the same people who think the rejected mating bond is about helion & LoA... don't tell me you think that Helion is abusive now...
Face the facts! It's not too late to take the clown makeup off folks
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itneverendshere · 23 days ago
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what do you think all of your rafes will be doing in their birthdays ? lol
this is sooo cute to think about 🥹 ok let me seeee...
1️⃣ bartender!pogue x rafe: he’d be all soft and chill, probably doing a cozy lunch cute with bartender!reader and their baby autumn 🍼 maybe a little family day at the beach, or a cozy home cooked meal at their spot. bartender!reader would surprise him tho, let a bunch of their closest friends/relatives join in for cake 🩵
2️⃣ bitchy!pogue x rafe: lmao he'd be so fucking dramatic, probs trying hard to win her over on his bday—texting her all "it’s my birthday, can you make an exception?" 🙄 but he’s gotta know she's got him wrapped around her finger now 😌
3️⃣ pogue!rafe x sweetheart!kook!reader (invisible string): ugh they'd spend the WHOLE day together if they could :( maybe sneak away somewhere they used to go when they were seventeen (but like in a different city for obvious reasons, but something that reminded them of home). he’d be going wowowoow all day bc he got his girl back🥲
4️⃣ maybank!reader x rafe (osop): something spontaneous tbh!! feel like maybank!reader would pull him into some wild adventure for his bday, probably sky-diving or snorkeling cause they're adrenaline junkies, they'd end up sweaty and sandy but HAPPY 🫶
5️⃣ played me like a clarinet!rafe: he’d be SO sappy because he knows he almost messed it up 🥹 wouldn't let reader plan a THING!!! he's gotta prove himself to her, probs pull out all the stops, planning the best day ever (acting like it's reader's birthday and not his lmao) bc he’s still scared of losing her.
6️⃣ school spirit and all!rafe: golden retriever energy 1000% 💘 he’d probably be clinging to reader alllllll day, wouldn't let reader get out of bed for a SECOND, even when she tells him she made him breakfast to eat in bed. he'd be like....i know something i can eat.... he’d be all in bc she makes him mushy like that.
7️⃣ lyayw ex!boyfriend rafe: let's hope he's miserable as fuck on his birthday idcccc. i’m talking full-on emo mode, like sitting in his room thinking about reader alllll day 💅 topper would probably throw him a get together and he'd be moping the entire time bc what the fuck, how did get here. he's used to spent every birthday since he was sixteen with reader so it's a lot to take in [DESERVED]. wouldn't want to be around anyone else [hint], would probably drink or smoke himself to sleep if im being honest.
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hezekiahwakely · 2 months ago
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I would actually kill to hear your post 200 jmart messy divorce thoughts you alluded to in those tags
Woof OK let's get into it then
My foundational piece of thought for this comes from the fic it will be this, always by bluejayblueskies on ao3. That fic is basically the closest I consider canon to the 'jon and martin managed to survive somewhere else, with consequences' ending (if you're an 'optimist' like me and you choose to believe in that option :P) Their relationship in that fic has similar tones to the show-- the writing captures the feeling of TMA well--and the fic in general is very bleak and cathartic, clinging to the edge of a damaged relationship that's about to fall apart. So, I enjoyed this fic A Normal Amount and it's stuck with me ever since.
Now I don't actually have the brain cells or the energy levels to write the fics that're floating around in my head atm, but here are my scattered thoughts on the subject of jmart post-mag 200:
Basically, they can never truly come to terms over the final decision
(Jons desire to end the world's suffering, vs Martin's POV, the betrayal of their relationship and Jon's self hating suicidality)
At least, definitely not in the first few months when they're forced to live together bc they're stranded in this brave new world and have no one else.
Both fall back on negative habits. Jon starts smoking, withdrawing, becoming paranoid; obsessively searching for signs of the fears.
Not one person in the world understands what he's been through. What kind of sacrifice he made. And they don't know how much he failed them all.
And his body hurts. All of his wounds hurt. His head struggles to clear and the empty space in it seems so silent. He sometimes gets mentally lost without the eye to guide him.
He almost wishes they had died. He wishes he hadn't cut the tether. But hes so happy Martin is alive---even if he seems to hate him right now. That's ok, hes alive. Even if he can't smile at him anymore.
Jon craves any sort of comfort. But the only man who had ever wanted to give him that is now enormously angry with him and maybe rightly so. And besides, of course, he's so unworthy of comfort that it's shameful to even desire it. He deeply wishes he could stop wanting it, to stop feeling so disgusted with himself.
He feels disgusted with himself regardless. Helpless and hopeless and confused in this floundering relationship and so very guilty of the things hes done.
He's sinking deeply, deeply into self hatred and despair.
But he still lashes out at Martin occasionally bc he's a bastard
(And bc he deserves to a little bit, y'know? He's angry about a lot of things right now and he has a right to be! And some of those things might be bc Martin uhhhhhhhh. Did not always treat him with the most compassion, understanding, or patience during the apocalypse.)
NO I don't think their relationship in show is toxic or abusive. I think it's realistic that two people who love each other very much in terrible circumstances are going to fuck up. and them hurting each other makes for good drama. anyways
Martin also withdraws, becomes cold and passive aggressive. Assumes the caretaking role for Jon (again) and walls off his feelings
He just can't forgive Jon for leaving him like that. For betraying his trust. For abandoning him. For hurting him immeasurably deeply by forcing him to kill him
And he can't understand his reasoning for doing so, when he thought that there was a chance for them to get out and be ok, and it could have all been so easy, but Jon didn't seem willing to take it. He chose to die instead because of his guilt, and martin is so, so angry at him for that.
And now he's stuck. Again. Forced into caring for someone who has treated him badly, AGAIN.
And he has no one to talk to. No one outside of Jon to go to for comfort, and being around Jon hurts. He is increasingly alone. Again.
Martin's fine. Everything is fine. He doesn't want to talk about it. Would you like some tea? I.e., it's time to shut the fuck up, Jon.
His anger and resentment sometimes turn his tongue as sharp and cold as an icicle. In those moments of icy rage, Martin thinks his voice sounds like his mother's.
Except when he finally can't hold it in and he explodes at jon like a sadness volcano, because Jon can't even look him in the face anymore. And then he leaves to go cry alone in their bedroom
Eventually communication breaks down. Then I have a few fun ideas for what might happen
Jon has a full-on mental break. Becomes catatonic. He's paralyzed by the need to stay here for Martin... but he's also held in place by the webs he sees now tying around his whole timeline. He was never going to be able to stop what they had planned for him. None of his choices ultimately matter --so he stops doing or wanting anything. It will all be taken away from him eventually. Whatever's going to happen will happen regardless of what he does
At the same time, he is experiencing so much pain and so much guilt and self hatred and lack of love in their relationship that he's desperate to escape it. When he finds no relief from any quarter, he becomes extremely suicidal. The only two things holding him to life are 1. not leaving Martin alone, and 2. his hopeless resignation to the web.
Starts having severe panic attacks.
Has that PTSD 'avalanche' where, now that he's finally somewhere he can be relatively safe, everything that happened to him is hitting him all at once.
He's scared of everything. He's scared of what might happen to Martin. He's scared of himself. He's scared of Martin.
Then there's the vomiting, anorexia, agoraphobia, bodily neglect, other passive self harms, the whole nine yards. He's physically falling apart.
Jon has a very bad time.
And he's moved almost entirely beyond Martin's reach
Martin is suddenly forced to come to terms with the fact that Jon needs immediate, intensive medical help if he's going to survive
Fate turns slightly in their favor, and they find a good physical rehab doctor, a good psychiatrist, and a good therapist for both of them. Perhaps at this point they're separated, maybe just bc of a hospitalization, but they're attending counseling together.
In my happiest ending, Jon responds well to the meds and is able to start talking to someone about his overwhelming feelings. Martin is actually able to find therapeutic help for his trauma, finds other people to help him and Jon so it's not all on him anymore, and he starts getting more of the love and support he deserves from his boyfriend
they recommit themselves to the relationship and to making it work. slowly, they start healing.
While also beginning to rediscover all the reasons they loved each other in the first place :)
In a sadder ending, one of them dies ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯
Eventually both, if we're being honest. One would not last long without the other. Not with that kind of connection
Or perhaps they do separate. Maybe they keep in close touch, in which case I think it would lean more towards a happy ending. Orrrrrr they make a hard break of it. Maybe it's sudden, urgent, painful and messy. Maybe they dont see each other again for years.
Regardless of what they do, I don't think they could truly be apart forever. They would visit. Even if it hurt every time. They would want to see each other again.
Because they care about each other.
But maybe, in one timeline, they need some space to heal and rebuild their lives and themselves. Maybe when theyre ready, they'll try again.
I may continue this later with my other branching ideas possibly but I wanted to get this bit out while it was fresh and I was thinking about it. This line of thought continually haunts the back of my subconscious so I'm always happy to share it
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venomous-ragno · 2 years ago
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PLEASE write dominant könig x sweet (but not soft bc they’ve been through shit) reader who takes care of him to the max whenever they can and maybe make it nsfw bc i keep imagining that but if you dont wanna then sfw is fine too i just can’t stop thinking about it 😭😭 THANK YOU AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A LOVELY DAY
Tags: König x gn!reader, fluff, smut
Warnings: Make up sex, Königs cums in you, slight mentions of oral
Masterlist
"I can bite you from here too."
It's not weakness, but trust, when König turns his back to you. Arms rested on his thighs as he leant forward, let his head lull and eyes close, nearly drifting off at the silence and your gentle touches. Desinfectant seeped into his wound but there was no reaction; too stubborn to groan or flinch at the sting, too used to it to even bother. König knew that heat in his neck whenever he was due for a scolding of yours. No matter how far away you were, that gaze pierced him like no other, made him shift ever so uncomfortably - and he knew he deserved it, listened but not quite as he repeated the same patterns, returned with the same mud and blood clinging to him.
He's become spoiled. Your care, your love, has made him so. König whined when hands reach out to pull you into his lap, but you huffed and shook your head. He'll heal much faster with you close to him, he claimed. You didn't buy it. You never did. He keept on pouting, calling for you in a tone so sweet, so desperate to have you close that it tested your resolve. He knew. His arms rested on your hip, cheek softly pressed to your abdomen as he 'mhm's at your barrage of words. Frustration, worry, love, it all spilled from your lips; Did he not realise how your heart dropped every time he returned even more broken and battered than before? How your heart froze whenever news of his injuried reached you?
"Don't be mad, my love." He purred to your abdomen, tilting his head to meet your gaze. The mischievous gleam in his eyes didn't go past you. "I'll make it up to you, that you missed me."
~~~~~
Teeth sink into your neck right as he thrusts into you. Wet squelches and slapping skin fills the tiny room, a stagnant smell of sweat and sex filling the air. You whine as König sucks on your skin. Decorated in reds and blues, his mouth never rests, licking, biting, sucking every inch of you he can get to.
"'M sorry", he mumbles. Hands hold your hips flush against his, sure to leave fingerprints for days after. "Wollte nicht..."
His breath ran hot against your collarbone. Apologies spilled from his lips like prayers, broken and repeated until they're naught but breathless groans. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, chest heaving and back arching at his unforgiving rythm, tearing into your core like a man starved; he shivered when your nails dragged along his back, over muscles and scars and marks you'd left on him. He rasped your name. Begged for you to take mercy on him for he's powerless when you looked at him so, unaware of what you did to him, how his restraint burst at the seams with every thrust. You pulled him down for a kiss. König moaned into your mouth and you bit his lip as a thumb circled your most sensitive spot; he licked his bloody lip and his hips stuttered.
He'd always been weak to you marking him.
"Please", eyes locked on yours, you knew that desperation in his voice. His rythm grew sloppier with each thrust bringing him close to coming undone. "Bitte... Ich kann nicht mehr... Please, my love-"
The rush of power ran through you like shivers; KorTac's star soldier begged you with teary eyes, clenched sheets until his knuckles coloured white just to not give in before you told him he could. You would've loved to let him squirm a bit more, but as he bottomed out with a shaky breath you knew you couldn't last any longer.
"You still mad at me?"
König nuzzled into your nape, feathering soft kisses along your freshly bruised skin. Truthfully, you weren't - but he'd still left you worried and confused.
"Just because it was good doesn't mean I forgive you."
The bed shifted as he slowly rose. For a second you thought you'd gone overboard on the teasing, but as his stubble tickled across your skin, ever lower, you realised it may be him teasing you instead.
"Oh, don't worry. I can be quite convincing."
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sga-owns-my-soul · 5 months ago
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🔦favourite sga moment involving mcshep or weir x sheppard
okay well. if there's one thing anyone knows about me it's that i'll ship anything and i'm also mcshep trash so 😅 it's going to be too hard to narrow this down to one moment so you're getting my favourite moments
for shepweir, my absolute favourite moment in the show is in the storm/the eye when kolya says elizabeth is dead and john immediately goes from soldier mindset to genocidal rage and literally does not stop moving and killing until he's told elizabeth is still alive 🥰🥰 we love to see it, i WISH a man loved me enough to commit genocide for me omg actual goals 😍 (although the moment in the tower is also really cute at the end when elizabeth's like they didn't offer you king? and johns like i turned that down too and the little SMIRK SHE GIVES HIM OH MY GOD THEYRE ADORABLE FUCK also in epiphany when she's like ooh i like the beard and he's like it's the first to go when i get home ahhhh it's just. idk it's so domestic and so adorable ugh they're too cute)
also for mcshep, every mcshep moment is a good mcshep moment (and i can make pretty much anything mcshep if i try hard enough) but my favourites come down to:
at the end of hide and seek, when rodney is laying on the floor of the gate room and john rushes down and is the first one at his side but his hands are just fluttering around because he doesn't think he's allowed to touch (or maybe he's too scared to, scared of what he'll show if he gets to touch rodney) it's just sooooooooooo and then john saying he passed out bc he's SO PROUD OF RODNEY FOR BEING SO BRAVE FUCK
also in the defiant one, where rodney is clearly shitting a brick, having seen one of his scientist's dead and one dying, and wanting to go join the fight because he's so scared of john being out there alone and something happening to him. rodney is SO brave and it makes me want to scream and cry and chew on the wall when i think about how many huge changes rodney makes simply just because someone gave him a chance and cared about him
also the whole of millers crossing obviously, the fact that john went back to earth with him and being as worried about jeannie, to john talking a man into killing himself, i mean even rodney asking john for permission (even tho he ends up trying to do it anyways, because that's what john would do- sacrifice himself anyways, and rodney's learned from john) just. the entire episode makes me feral
and last but certainly not least, the shrine. my absolute favourite episode of anything ever, what is, in my opinion, the best piece of media ever created in all of human history. the way rodney loses everything but clings to john so desperately, the way john is the one jeannie turns to for comfort, the way john is breaking in every fucking scene, BEER ON THE PIER, god just literally everything about that episode is so insane to me (and david hewlett went so fucking hard that man deserves every damn award omfg) also kind of unrelated but it's my personal headcanon that rodney was saying i love you to john and not jennifer in that video, rodney was just aware enough to know he couldn't say johns name, but that message was for him 100%
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snekdood · 2 years ago
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the problem with conservatives is they think you challenging their beliefs is somehow oppressing them
#this is why i dont think punishing them physically necessarily works. while its a short term solution in the long run- if they have a#victim complex- which most conservatives who aren't just purely evil politicians kinda have been conditioned to have- they're just gonna#dig their heels in and count that as part of their supposed 'oppression'#they think you challengeing their precious binary. etc. is somehow oppressing them bc you challenge everything they've known and#have now since kinda grown attached to and the only lense they've seen the world through since forever#basically rocking their foundation of how they see reality- and since conservatives are afraid of change (kinda in the name) rocking#what they know makes them think you're oppressing them by making them actually think and be critical baout what they know#its like they take it as a judgement also. idk. as if their way of life is bad (which it for the most part kinda is) and that we're somehow#punishing them for believing in that life. it really does boil down to fear of the unknown and a desire to cling on to whats familiar.#'how dare you question my status quo lifestyle! everythings fine!! i swear!! im totally not in denial about how shit things've become!!!'#'everythins worked for me so far!!' aka they havent died yet. and are ignoring that other people are. and think their depressing life#somehow has something to do with other average people who are what. wearing make up and feather boa's. gods greatest sin of course dfhbhg#rather than the ruling class reinforcing a system that oppresses them and sucks them dry of their labour.......#but its fine!! guys!! remember?? its familiar. and we havent died yet. so its fine. man my back hurts and i wish i could take a 3 day break#i think we gotta also acknowledge that they're probably victims of abuse (since most conservatives are abusive too and probably inhereted#that trait from their even more conservative parents) and as victims of abuse... they probably do the same thing plenty of us have done#before too- where we didn't think anything better was possible/we could escape/we deserved better so we stayed in shitty situations for#longer than we deserved. and had to just think of it all as. fine. we havent died yet. whoevers abusing us has spared us from death.#so its fine. better than death. i guess.#how bleak of a worldview.
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merrysithmas · 15 hours ago
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warning: The Hobbit review where I am a hater lmao
I know I'm like a decade late to watching these but:
• Mourning bc we could have gotten Guillermo's version of King Thanduil who wouldve been the ancient and frightful Becoming-the-Forest shadowy, eldritch, eerily mad power-clinging creature we deserved but instead we got Makeup Vlogger Thanduil (which is still so funny to me I'm almost not mad) & jock spray-tanned Legolas. THEY KILLED LEGOLAS AND THEN LET A MEAN JOCK WALK AROUND IN HIS SKIN FOR 3 HOURS.
We could've had scary pagan Green Man Thranduil the ancient being who refuses to give up power so much so that he's being consumed by the (ever-darkening) Forest which he once ruled with magnanimity ... and baby!Legolas struggling with the isolationalism & prejudice he learned from his father's court but we got... That instead.
LMAO proof nothing perfect can last
• also Tauriel? every scene between her and Thranduil should've been between Legolas and Thranduil to flesh out their relationship, instead of sideling him for an unnecessary OC who was put there to fulfill a weird corporate romance tick box, a repetitive and boring romance nonetheless with a subpar stock Strong Female Character.
• The only good thing about the movie was Martin's Bilbo (spot on!!) and the Gandalf/Elrond/Galadriel teamup even tho it was a little infected with the Avengers-y virus for me, they're all just such good actors I could watch them sleep and I'd be like... Oscar.
• I also hated Bard (they shouldve cut Tauriel and genderbent Bard or a couple of the dwarves if they wanted to add women) and I hated the design for Smaug & the Trolls. No creativity there at all.
• The film had zero regard for tone and went for pseudoLOTR instead. Where was the fairytale-esque children's tale of growing up and leaving one's comfort zone and discovering the big, sometimes terrible, world? Where was the almost Winnie-the-Pooh shine which covered the Through The Looking Glass maze?
• Also, I hated Thorin (why did they make him Discount Aragorn?) and none of the Dwarves had ANY development... wtf? They were Dollar Store Fellowship.
• I cannot for the LIFE OF ME understand why they put BILBO in the "Emotional Supporter" role for Thorin LMAOOOO... what??? Anyway, I support all the Bagginshield shippers because everything should be, and is, gay. No issue there.
That's my review, overall I was deeply surprised how bad it was and it makes me leery about The Hunt For Gollum, because shockingly Jackson&Co are 1 for 2 in regards to triologies right now and the odds of it being quality are split.
IMO I genuinely feel like The Hobbit should be remade by another team, that's how off it was.
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ghcstao3 · 1 year ago
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hi, hope you're well! so today I was thinking (bc ofc my brain's natural reaction is to lunge viciously for the hurt/comfort), what if the '09 game events still happened? Like, instead of AUs (where timelines branch off from a single event), it's a glitch in the timeline? So you have the '22 version of the 141 doing their thing, but they have nightmares & deja vu stemming from the '09 stuff. Cue (yes I'm shipping) SoapGhost where Ghost has all these bad feelings concerning Shepherd plus he has awful nightmares about burning & Soap's there to comfort him, but he's afraid that they're all losing it bc he keeps having similar dreams concerning how he dies--
i am well ty! hope u are as well!
anyway i tried my Best. however u may (will) have to pretend 22 141 doesnt know shepherd was part of the betrayal bc uhhh yeah👍🙂👍 also cw for kinda graphic desc of ghost’s nightmares
-
Soap couldn’t pinpoint when the dreams started, or why, for that matter—but what he does know is that it’s pure and utter torment.
It’s a unique fear that festers in their wake, in cold sweat and heart palpitations. It’s spine-chilling in a way Soap has never experienced, because while he’s confident he’s looked death in the eyes on too many occasions, never has he actually died.
But his dreams, these dreams—they tell him otherwise. And he isn’t the only one, either.
Gaz and Price have started to look just as sleepless. And Ghost—Soap has never seen him so afraid. When, for the first time in weeks, Soap sees his face, it’s harrowed. Haunted.
There’s a sense of familiarity that’s brought along with Soap’s dreams; explosions, gunfire, dilapidated buildings and someone screaming his name. His brain supplies him with the knowledge that it’s Price, but it isn’t, not really. At least, not how he knows Price. He feels old wounds tearing open and a searing pain in his side as his body is drained of far too much blood, and Price—not his Price—is shaking him. Begging.
In the end, it just makes sense to Soap. To die in the field. But the dream is too visceral to feel anything but real, and he starts to wonder just when he’d begun to deserve these sorts of taunts.
Gaz says his own nightmares are blunt, but just as violent. As fiery. Price doesn’t say anything, but there’s a new sunken quality to the bags under his eyes, and he just looks at his team so different, with a tortured gaze and a regret so profound he doesn’t seem to understand it himself.
Finally, Soap thinks, their mental states have deteriorated beyond repair. Until, in his arms, Ghost is screaming his throat raw in his sleep, a wail only ever sounded by those trekking their way through hell. Soap’s heard it before, from others, in their final moments, but never from the living.
And that’s when Soap begins to understand that these aren’t just some dreams, but some distant reality he hopes to never face.
Soap gently coaxes Ghost from his slumber, cutting through nightmare and imagination and whatever horrible thing could have Ghost in such pain. His face wets with tears as he slowly wakes, clinging to Soap like a child might to their mother’s leg in an indescribable fear. Ghost has never seemed so small.
“It’s not just you,” Soap whispers. He presses a kiss to Ghost’s temple, pulls the man closer. “Tell me what happened.”
As Ghost gradually forces out the words Soap begins to feel sick, nauseated not only by their contents but by the knowledge that Ghost had just lived through it, but he never lets go. Never asks for Ghost to stop speaking, just listens. Listens even as something gnaws away at his gut, as bile climbs his throat.
Hot, Ghost says. It was hot. A bullet had been lodged somewhere in his body but it didn’t matter—it was hot. He’d claw off his skin to get rid of the heat if it weren’t already melting flesh from muscle, from bone. Clothes and gear meld with his corpse and he feels it all, feels the bubbling, smells the burning, senses the way parts of his body slough off into ash.
He’s reaching for someone, and there’s the itch of betrayal, and a voice in his ear that he knows, instinctually, is Price, but there isn’t anything more he can do than lie there and accept his fate as his fleeting thoughts pester him about everything he’d done wrong. About everything he could’ve done—should’ve done to save… to save—
“I know his name,” Ghost murmurs, “but I also don’t. And I—“
“Don’t dwell on it, Simon,” Soap advises. “Please.”
Ghost shakes his head against Soap’s shoulder. “I can’t just—it’s not something I can forget, Johnny. Not when it keeps happening.”
“But you can,” Soap pleads. A terrible sense of dread has befallen him, growing in intensity and insistence. Something isn’t right, but he doesn’t know if he wants to find out just what. “We all can.”
Ghost is silent a moment. Shifts somehow closer to Soap. Soap can hear him thinking.
“I don’t know if we should be trusting Shepherd,” he finally says.
Soap’s face pinches in a tight frown. It seems such a random topic for this hour, after such terror. “Why?”
Ghost shrugs. “Can’t explain it. Gut feeling. Could be wrong, but—“
“When are you ever?” It’s meant to be teasing, but Soap does trust Ghost’s judgement more than anyone, perhaps even more than his own. Ghost just nods and clings ever tighter until his breathing evens out and tense muscles go lax.
Soap can’t find it in himself to fall back asleep.
Instead, he begins to wonder just how true these nightmares hold. And he begins to question how exactly Shepherd may fit into all of it.
Unfortunately, though, he supposes, there’s only one way to find out.
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mrsnancywheeler · 9 months ago
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Ok I’m back with the songs 🫡
I can’t remember if anyone else has mentioned this, but finnick/sweet girl are very much giving this is me trying by miss blondie herself
—————— 
I've been having a hard time adjusting. I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting” “And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad. I have a lot of regrets about that”
This reminded me a lot about their recent argument at the end of chapter 6, where sweet girl called him a liar and accused him of purposely playing mind games with her :(
—————— 
“And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound. It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you. You're a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town”
THIS MIGHT JUST BE FINNICKS ENTIRE INNER MONOLOGUE AFTER THEY BROKE UP #IDK !! OR !! HIS THOUGHTS DURING READER’S GAMES! How he has to keep up appearances and his playboy persona to make sure his sweet girl gets sponsors, but he’s actually feeling so much grief and stress. 
—————— 
Another song they remind me of is  Wasteland, Baby! But specifically:
“I’m in love, I'm in love with you. And I love too, that love soon might end. Be known in its aching”
Just reminded me about how they’re meant to go through tragedy :(( 
—————— 
BONUS SONGS!
we can't be friends (wait for your love) by Ariana Grande’s SCREAMS young!reader going through the breakup with Finnick :((
—————— 
“We can't be friends, but I'd like to just pretend. You cling to your papers and pens, wait until you like me again. Wait for your love”
Just her initial reaction to the breakup and how she still loves him :((
—————— 
“I don't like how you paint me, yet I'm still here hanging”
“Me and my truth, we sit in silence. Baby girl, it's just me and you. ‘Cause I don't wanna argue, but I don't wanna bite my tongue, yeah, I think I'd rather die. You got me misunderstood, but at least I look this good” This reminds me of when Finnick was saying all those things he didn’t mean about his sweet girl, and although she’s hurt by it she still loves him (and deep down she knows he doesn’t mean it!)
—————— 
And Comfort Crowd by Conan Gray is so them coded like PLEASE mainly about how reader keeps rejecting any comfort because she doesn’t feel like she deserves it + how she was afraid to voice that she wants said comfort during her hijacking
—————— 
“Wellin' up in tears as I lay upon your belly. Telling you, ‘I’m fine I don't really need nobody,’ But you say through a sigh that I said that lie already”
Need I say more. 
—————— 
“And even if I cry all over your body. You don't really mind. Say you like your shirt soggy.”
This could go for both Finnick and Reader! About how they both feel guilty for receiving comfort from the other person (Finnick bc he wants to give comfort too, and Reader bc she feels like she doesn't deserve it)
—————— 
I hope this isn’t too long hehe but these were my #thoughts. I’m a yapper at heart <3 lmk what you think!!
BUT SIDENOTE I SAW HADESTOWN FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT W JORDAN FISHER AND !! His performance was fr giving me finnick vibes bc he was really giving that obsessed yearner vibe IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT LOL but it was so good!!
-🦅
buckle up folks because I love a lot to say 🫡❤️
this is me trying is so them, like very heavily
they're both really at their core such sunshiney people who've been so broken down and used by the world that they've really been dulled. and reader is always quick to bite back, especially when she's scared or frustrated or doesn't want to reveal her emotions, she doesn't have a complete grasp on reality yet, she's scared of being left behind, scared that finnick will die, scared of being alone and frustrated that he broke his promise to her so she lashes out.
110% to both of those, like he's so broken up, aching for her, in pain, blaming himself for everything, but he has to be what's expected of him. some drinks, laughing, flirting, smiling, when all he wants to do his curl up in bed crying as he holds into some remant of hers that he held onto all this time.
in the context of the most recent chapter "I just wanted you to know that this is me trying" is so very much both of them for different reasons
finnick says the things he does and does what he does because he wants to help her get better, to be delicate with her, keep her safe, keep her protected from the dangers of the time and her mental state. he's trying his hardest even if he doesn't always handle it in ways that bode well.
reader is trying to be herself again, she just wants to be treated normally regardless of how that affects her. once she's her she'll be less paranoid, more trusting, she's trying so hard to replicate that so she can get there and feels like he's not letting her. that her attempts are being shut down.
they are the tragic lovers, so in love, so obsessed, and constantly fated for hurt after hurt. all I'm saying is to watch moulin rouge and think of them because it's so finnick and his sweet girl in another life.
LITERALLY THOUGH if she could've she would've followed him around like a lost puppy dog, it would have fed into the narrative about her, but she's so desperately in love that she would have waited so patiently. in a way she did, but if he'd told her he was breaking up with her for other girls she was so young and so already achingly in love with him that she would have kept trailing around waiting for him to come baxk
(side note, finnick is really the love sick puppy, but reader reminds me of a stray cat who picks someone to love, always waits to be fed by them. given a little bit of attention and now will be attached for the long run. I thought googles description was really funny because it's just so her "With time and patience, a stray cat may trust you and want pets consistently. If you have grown close to a stray cat, it may feel upset or distressed if you suddenly leave it." so yeah she's a stray cat who finally got some love before being suddenly stranded again)
ANYWAYS yes, the way he talks about her and paints the portrait of their relationship is so hurtful. she totally cries about it consistently because to her he's perfect, and although she largely wants to believe what he said when they broke up and trust he still loves her, a part of her can't help but feel so stupid for letting herself be lead on by someone who's been said to be a playboy anyway. it makes her so insecure, so much more guarded, but she doesn't hate him, no she could never. she's in love with him. no matter what he says or does she's long placed her roots and won't tear them up.
that's literally the most them interaction to have never ever interacted, some of her tears have welled up, she's choking on pushed down sobs, and insisting that she's okay even though Finnick can read her like a book. he's softly scolding her for lying while she continues to try and insist until she's completely broken down into sobs.
reader could have the roughest day ever and still insist that she's fine, comfort finnick, love on him, hold him, and he spends the time hating that he's enjoying the loving when she's so obviously lying, masking everything. it's such a paradox. meanwhile she feels terrible for aching comfort because of things she does, she wants to suffer, but the lure of giving into finnick's arms is too much sometimes. especially knowing that he loves her so much and so well. she just has to let herself take what she needs even if she hates herself or it later.
ofc this isn't too long pookie, I love hearing y'all's thoughts no matter how long, yap to me endlessly pookie, I'm a yapper too. ❤️
YAY EXCITING I would love to see Jordan Fisher as Orpheus, he's so talented. I'd die, and yes it's just so Finnick 😭💕
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