#they're both insecure babies here ok
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cookies-after-dark · 4 months ago
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ok but imagine pv smilk and reader having something going, relationship going steady, freak is onℱ, people kinda get the hint that this is a committed poly relationship
but! some poor soul makes a pass on the reader (thinking that the relationship is open and they're up for grabs)
you cannot tell me these two mfkers aren't the most possessive ass bitches (pv undercover) when it comes to each other and their partner (i'm hinting at possessive sex bro it would be so good)
pv đŸ€ smilk
"that's my boyfriend and my partner and if u look too much im gonna bite."
they live in my mind rent free i need to write an eviction notice- i am so so sorry if this is nonsensical
(additional tags: possessiveness, unhealthy dynamics, beast x ancient
ships: Pure Vanilla Cookie x gender neutral!reader x Shadow Milk Cookie)
Okay so this ask resonated within my soul. I've wanted to write about just how willing Pure Vanilla and Shadow Milk are willing to share the one that holds their affections, across many different dynamics (yandere suitors sharing vs. normal poly relationship between three mostly stable individuals, etc.)
But I really, really like the thought of the two of them just closing the relationship after they include you in it. Because I love to see Shadow Milk when he's a snarling, spitting animal and PV needs to be possessive over his belongings friends and family more because I said so and it brings me joy.
I think they both would handle it quite differently, their jealousy. Shadow Milk Cookie is all external force, his hackles raise when he sees another cookie rub their hands over your back when they hug you. Shadow Milk Cookie is insecure desperate and clingy enough to shoot first ask questions later if he feels you're drifting away from him.
You're not, you tell him that when he's curled around you like some type of hissing weasel.
He believes you, but he just wouldn't feel better if he didn't teach that other cookie a little lesson! One should know better than to enroach on his territory.
Shadow Milk Cookie feels nonthreatened only when it's Pure Vanilla Cookie (and his other Beast friends, as he has expressed to the two of you eagerly). He doesn't mind it, loves it even when he finds their scent on you as he wraps himself around you. It's quite comforting.
But a stranger's touch on you feels wrong, like a sin. Shadow Milk Cookie actually gets very antsy until he's at least sniffed out this foolish doughbrain and assure himself that this won't happen twice.
You and Pure Vanilla Cookie have helped a lot on this regard; Shadow Milk's wrath used to mean something serious. Well, relentlessly stalking a cookie and pulling meanspirited "pranks" on them still is quite serious. Baby steps, everyone!
Needless to say, but I'll say it anyway, Pure Vanilla Cookie is not nearly as unhinged and unstable as his Beast partner is. In fact, I think it would take a much bigger push to feel like Pure Vanilla had to step in. He's patient, kind, and understanding.
But Pure Vanilla also feels jealousy, like any other cookie.
Pure Vanilla Cookie doesn't puff out his chest and start strutting around like a peacock when someone flirts with you. Actually, he thinks it's quite flattering that his partner is attractive enough for such a positive response!
(But if I just left it at that and didn't find some way to make Pure Vanilla Cookie's hackles rise then we wouldn't be here right now.)
I think the thing that gets Pure Vanilla's eyes to snap open is when someone persists with you. Fair enough, anyone with a partner would feel the need to smile a bit more tightly and wander over to put a comforting hand on yltheir shoulder while making subtle eye contact with the pursuer, it's totally normal!
Just a little sign, y'know? A quick nuzzle to your cheek will do the trick.
Unbeknownst to you - there's the faintest reflection of alitted pupils in Pure Vanilla's eyes when his gaze flits towards your increasingly unwelcome guest. Shadow Milk Cookie has been a really good influence, huh?
I think PV would process this internally, more than anything else. You notice he kind of anxiously prowls around you a little bit more, but he goes back to acting like his merry self a day or two later.
Although, his insecurities ring like a bell through his souljam, which Shadow Milk Cookie can feel. They're both watching you much more often than you would think.
And isn't that so sweet? So romantic? You have not one, but two ultra powerful cookies with stable emotions watching your every move, making extra sure that you're safe and sound in their arms, and their arms only! You're in good hands, here.
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starry-stay-s · 3 days ago
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Family of 4 turns to family of 5...?
☆Sylus xnonmc! reader
☆girl dad SylusđŸ’Ș
☆fluff, suggestive moment or two
☆authors note; ok so im gonna say this here but I may add it to my about me page, but all of the pics I make will tend to have a curly haired reader as its underrepresented in many fandoms and as someone will curls, I gotta be strong and write for those looking for itđŸ’Ș; working on some other works rn so bear(?) with me pls
☆warnings; children ig?, curly haired reader and daughter
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Ever since you married Sylus, you decided it'd be best to be a housewife. Sure, you loved your job and it's made good money, but logically you had no need for it. No need for the stressful written reports coworkers who were far too stubborn(and frankly, stupid) for their own good, only causing you more stress. And let's be honest here, Sylus's bank account will run dry when pigs fly, so why not bask in relaxation at home.
Ever since making this decision, you've slowly adjusted to his sleep schedule. Becoming more and more of a night owl every day. Yes, it wad a bit hard at first but now it's almost as if this had always been your schedule. While Sylus when to meetings, deals, auctions he deemed to dangerous for you, you cleaned the base, cooked for you(and the twins if they weren't with Sylus), and then simply did nothing.
Yep, absolutely nothing but lay on the couch, bed, whatever you deemed worthy that day. Sometimes you'd watch a show you've been wanting to cus never had time for, or a new movie, or read a book from your tragically long to be read list. And sometimes, when you were in an especially good mood, you'd go to your favorite café and go on a mini shopping spree, often buying things for Sylus, the twins and Mephisto, who you've come to peaceful terms with.
It was amazing, truly, finally getting relaxation as you got to do anything and everything you pleased, having your beloved come home everyday and grettjng you with a hug and kiss. And God don't even get started on how much Sylus loved this new arrangement. Knowing his kitten was at home waiting for him to return safely everyday as she got to be greedy and do whatever she pleased, it satisfied something deep within him.
It's been a about 7 months since the wedding and everything is fine, you've both long settled into this new routine. But you can't help but start to feel a little lonely. Sure, sometimes the twins are home, but they're usually off doing their own mischief. Mephisto stayed most of the times too but he was usually far too occupied with finding new additions for his hoard. And Sylus was usually out on business, doing who knows what who knows where.
You let your thoughts wander one day as you're cooking dinner for the 4 of you, yes the twins included because they're practically your children. Children, huh? Surr you weren't anywhere near being blood related but you cared for them like a mother would, making sure Sylus wouldn't punish them too harshly for one of their regular pranks and mischief, sometimes even getting in on it yourself. Thinking about it now, you and Sylus haven't really touched on that topic yet.
Would he want children? Did you want children? Would you be able to raise them here in the N109 Zone without putting them in danger? So many thoughts and insecurities clouded your mind as you continue cooking, not hearing the door open.
As you stir the pot, a pair of warm arms embrace you from behind. You shake your head clear of your thoughts, though some linger in the back of your head. You look back over your shoulder to meet Sylus's gaze. Smiling you turn back around to ensure dinner isn't burned.
"Welcome home, baby." You say as he nuzzles hus head into the crook of your neck, inhaling your warm and familiar scent. He let's out a soft hum, akin to a low purring that you feel rumbles his chest. He places feather light kisses on your neck, not saying anything but he didn't need too. On days like this he just needed to hold you, to remember that you're home and safe, that everything he does is for you, that even the rough days are worth it when he sees you at home, making dinner or seeing the charges on his card from your usual stores.
You turn off the stove, dinner done but wanting to be held a bit more. You lean back into him, laying your hands on his and his trails soft kisses up higher and higher until he finally reached your lips. The kiss is deep, slow as if hes trying to memorize every line and curve of your lips.
He pulls away and looks into your eyes again, and you can't help but imagine having a mini Sylus running around, with his silver locks and ruby red eyes. You try to stop thinking about it, but you can't, maybe you'd been seeing too many cute baby tiktoks, but you suddenly have this urge to just have his children. He notices thoughts fogging your mind.
"Whats wrong, sweetie? You know you can tell me anything." He says softly, searching your eyes for any clue as to what you're thinking about. If only he knew you were thinking about jumping his bones until Chinas birth rates skyrocket-
"I've been... thinking about us. And how maybe instead of it being the four of us it could be... five." You say hesitantly, unsure of his reaction. You quickly look away and busy yourself with plating the food, slipping through his arms, leaving them limp at his side as he stares at you, eyes wider than usual. As you place the plates on the table and are about to call Luke and Kieran, he grabs your wrist gently.
"Are you saying... you want a child with me?" He asks softly, you turn to look at him and see the vulnerability in his eyes. The way he waits for your response, pupils blown wide and jaw slack, makes you smile.
"Yeah, I am, is that a problem?" You say with a nod, meeting his gaze. He shakes his head and just stares for a while, his expression of pure devotion like you just told him you hung up stars and moon yourself. You lead him to his chair and sit him down as he continues to star at you with the same look, calling out for the twins to come join you two. You hear a clambering wave of footsteps as they come from who knows where and stop in front of you, out of breath and mock saluting.
"Thank you, Mrs. Bossman" they say in their usual perfect harmony before settling down at their respective seats, you joining them. As you all eat, Sylus's eyes never leave you, his expression has changed to mask what he was feeling but you could still tell by that glint in his eyes. The twins talk most of the time per usual, about what the did and what they wanna do, as they stuff their faces. Sometimes it genuinely concerns you that anything you make them could become a choking hazard if it's them who's eating it. You add comments every now and then, getting up when everyone has finished and moving the dishes to thre sink. The twins thank you once more before running off, back to their usual shenanigans. Sylus moves silently beside you, helping you do the dishes.
You use a kitchen towel to dry your hands, passing it to Sylus when youre done. You stand there, leaning your hip against the counter, facing him with loosely crossed arms. He sets the towel back where it was before and watches you before gently speaking.
"So, children, huh, kitten? If that's what you wanted you could've told me sooner, you know your wish is my command." He says.
"I know, its just I didn't really think much about it until recently and... I dont know, I guess I was scared to mention it to you." You respond quietly, your eyes averting from his.
"What did you think id say, sweetie? I may be the big bad bossman of Onychinus to everyone else, but to you im just Sylus." He uses two fingers to gently grab your chin and turns you towards him, your eyes meeting again.
"I know, I know. But... would you want children with me?" You say with uncertainty.
"I thought you'd never ask, kitten. I want anything you're willing to give me, and if children is one then id gladly take all of them." He quietly affirms, his gaze intense but loving.
"All of them? It's not I'm not giving you a whole soccer team." You say, smiling with a playful tone.
"Pity, I was hoping for two so they can compete against the other." he says with his usual smirk, tone teasing as he slowly embraces you.
You giggle and lean into him, your weight. comfortable weight against him. He kisses your head and quickly picks you up, placing you over his shoulder like you weighed nothing. You gasp in shock, clinging onto whatever you could as you laughed.
"Sylus, put me down! Where are you taking me?" You ask, softly hitting his back. He continues walking through the house as he chuckles.
"To get started on making our two soccer teams." He says and you could practically hear his smug grin. You continue hitting his back and laughing. He opens the door to your shred bedroom and lays you on the bed, crawling over you and kissing your lips gently as you hear him lock the door with his evol.
"Make my time worth it and we'll see about the soccer teams." You say gently against his lips. Hi smirks and presses his weight against you, your lips slotting against each other.
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Four years later you find yourself bathing your daughter, Nora, as Sylus sets everything she needs for after in yours and Sylus's shared room. She giggles in the bath, playing with the bubbles, face covered in them as she tried getting them on you too. Soon you burst her bubble(pun intended, please laugh) and get her out of the bath, ending her fun. You wrap her in her dragon hooded towel that she says looks just like her papa. AS you carry her out, your meet with the sigh of Sylus carefully arranging her pajamas. You smile and set her down, drying her completely before having Sylus get her dressed. She giggled the whole time, enjoying his attention. You went to find her brush and handed it to Sylus, as she refused to let you do her hair after bath time.
He gently brushed through the wet curls as she babbled on about what she was playing in the tub with you. He nodded along, listening attentively as if it was the most important business deal. He gently styles her curls as she continue, talking about whatever comes to her mind. Once he's done he gently puts on her bonnet, kissing her now mostly covered forehead. She jumps up and smiles, tackling him in a hug. He dramatically falls down on the bed, her laying on top of him, letting her play around with him, a soft smile on his face, his gaze soft as he watches her.
You watch quietly as you finish getting ready for bed yourself. You sneak up on her, quickly picking her up and spinning in a circle. She squeals, her adorable laughter filling the air, her dimples on full display.
"Papa! Save meeee!" She screams, giggling as you carry her away and to her room to put her to bed.
"Im coming, princess." He says as he follows you in a light jog. You look back and immediately walk away faster, smiling.
"I dont think so, this is my pretty princess!" You say as you make it into her room, her flailing in her arms as she waits for Sylus, who walks in mere seconds later.
"Hand over my dear princess before I take drastic measures." He says, standing just beyond the rooms doorway. You pretend to think about it as your daughter looks at you, eyes just as ruby as Sylus's wide with hope.
"Mm, I dont think so, I think I'll keep her to myself."
"You've left me no choice." He says, smirking and sending a small chill down your spine. The next thing you know his evol is pulling Nora out of your arms and behind him as he tickles you. You gasp and panic, trying to escape the attack, laughter filling the air.
"DAmmit, Sylus, let go!" You say through gasps of breath, trying not to die as he continues the assault, your daughter finding your suffering enjoyable as she laughs as well. He only lets go after a few more moments, tear falling out the corners of your eyes as you gasp to catch your breath, bunched over. He grabs your daughter and hold her tightly, kissing her cheek.
"My beloved princess is saved, did I do well, your highness?" he says to her, still playing along as your daughter lets out a final giggle and nods.
"Very good papa, you defeated the monster! So you have the honor of reading my bedtime story." She says matter of factly, already willing out of his arms, past you and into her bed. She gets under the covers and lays down, waiting for Sylus to follow and read to her. He chuckles and follows, sitting in the chair beside her bed for this sole purpose. He grabs the book she always asks for, about a princess being saved by the dragon instead of the prince. He looks over at you, who's barely recovering from the brutal attack. You glare at him, though there's no real heat behind it as you walk closer and kiss your daughters head.
"Goodnight, Nora. Sweet dreams, and only one story alright?" You say softly, staring at her lovingly as you wait for her answer.
"Yes, mama! Night night!" She says with a nod, practically shooing you away so she can have time with her father. You chuckle and walk out the room, settling into yours and Sylus's bed.
Once you leave the room, Sylus begins the story hes read at least a million times. Now Nora always has two reactions to the story; once, she asks Sylus to read it over and over again, and he does because for his daughter, hes a weak man, her ultimate weapon her pout and puppy eyes. Or two, she falls asleep to the low sound of Sylus's voice, a noise so comforting for her that she can't help but become sleepy before he's even halfway through the story. When this happens, he finishes the story, though he knows shes asleep, because he know she'll wake if he doesn't(it happened one too many times and hes finally learned his lesson)
This night sits the latter, her big crimson eyes drifting closed as hes only half way done reading. He continues in a softer voice now, ending the story and kissing her forehead, his whisper a breath.
"Goodnight, my princess. I love you dearly, sweet dreams." He puts the book back quietly and fixes her blanket before staring at her. Her little pink bonnet securely covered her silver curls, the ones you so diligently taught him how to care for and style. Her eyes, now closed but a perfect copy of his, her lips full and plush just like his as well. He quietly chuckles, thinking about how your genes didn't even bother fighting. He gets up with a small smile, making his way to your bed.
There you lie half awake, wanting to wait for him but exhaustion from the day catching up far more quickly than intended. You barely notice him walking in, only noticing him when his arms wrapped around you from behind. He whispers into your ear softly.
"Go to sleep, kitten, im here." He continues whispering sweet nothings until you fall asleep, which doesn't take long. Once he hears your breathing even out, he settles in more and sighs, thinking about how amazing his life turned out of be.
Not once did he think this kind of domestic life was possible, but the ring on your finger and Nora were proof that even someone like him could have a happy ending.
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louscartridge · 1 year ago
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bang chan with a reader who has daddy issues
bang chan x fem reader
cw- daddy issues and everything that comes with it (duh), mentions of sex and cockwarming, fluff, comfort.
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a/n- whenever I see things with chan and daddy issues, its never actually daddy issues, its always just a daddy kink or whatever, yk? so this ones for all my stays with daddy issues out there 😞
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❄ at first he'd think it was a bit strange, and he was a little confused. however, he wasn't surprised.
Chan had always had a good father, and he'd like to think he'd also be a good one, so he never understood how a dad could just be so rejectful towards their own child, but he knew that sadly, some of them are.
❄ you didn't even have to tell him about you daddy issues for him to eventually realize it. to be completely honest, he didn't ever know if you knew you had them.
❄ it was the way that you would grasp onto his arm, or get weirdly overly excited about small things, and some of your worries or things you would say that made him realize.
❄ but he knows that its the small things that you'd go over the moon for. he'd make sure you guys had movie nights, weather it would be with just the two of you, or the rest of his group, game nights, ect. he knows sometimes going out could be a bit overwhelming for you, so he'd try his best to cook for you. chan would also brush your hair every once and a while.... not only does he know you sometimes have trouble doing it yourself, but he also knows that it brings you some sense of comfort.
❄ one night you told him that you prefer to go to sleep when everyone was awake cause it gave you some sense of security, but you hated how alone you felt when you stayed up all by yourself. so now, he makes sure that you're asleep before he is. he'd lay there with you in his arms awake, for however long it takes for you to fall asleep before he does himself.
❄ Chan is so good at reassurance and reading you omg. he can tell when you're having your doubts.... weather you're feeling particularly insecure in the moment, or you're scared that he's gonna leave you, he can always tell. he's so good with his words, and his tone changes slightly whenever he's reassuring you in these moments. his 'i love you' somehow sounding so much softer then it usually does, along with his eyes looking much softer too.
❄ he doesn't want you to push yourself away cause you think he's gonna leave, hell always encourage you to talk to him. if you cant come out and say what you need, hell hint to the convo or start it himself.
using words face to face could be hard, he gets that. when you're too embarrassed to verbally talk to him about it, hell give you a piece of paper, and you could write what you need to on it, and give it to him whenever you're done. he'd never tell you when you needed to write on it though, that was all in your own time. even if you never gave it back to him, he just wants you to know that its always there for you to use and give to him.
❄ speaking of Chan being good at reading you, he can tell when you actually want sex or not. half the time, it's the look in your eyes. they're different, and glassy. not in a needy way or anything, but in a way where you look worried, scared, like you're about to cry.
sometimes you also use sex as a form of reassurance, but he needs you to know that you don't ever need to have sex with him just cause you think it'll make him stay. sometimes the two of you would just resort to cock warming if you really need to feel close to him, but hell try his best to turn you away.
"princess not right now." he'd say with his hands on both sides of your face, pulling you away.
"but daddy-"
"no, baby, im sorry. I'm always gonna be here tomorrow, and the next day, and every other day after, ok? I promise. I love you so much."
"always gonna be here." you'd nod to yourself with a small sniff.
❄ he understands that it might take you a bit to trust him, but he's so patient with gaining your trust. hell do everything he can to get it, and continue to do everything to keep it.
❄ Chan himself is a little possessive and get jealous easily, so he has no problem with that. what he does have a problem with, is the fact that half the time you're acting that way cause you think he's gonna leave or cheat on you. he'd never in a million years do either of those, and it breaks him whenever he thinks that you feel that. he never wants his baby to feel that way ever, but he knows there's not much he can do other then give you everything he has, and time.
you like that your boyfriend can be jealous and possessive tho. whenever he gets that way, you know for sure that he won't leave you. you are his, and he is yours. only and always.
❄ sometimes though, Chan does just need some space. there's nothing wrong with that, you know that. but you cant help but feel bad. 'was I too clingy? was I being annoying? oh god, he's gonna break up with me isn't he.' chan knows that's what you're gonna be thinking, so he always tells you a few days beforehand.
"babe, me and Felix are going somewhere on Thursday morning. I'll be back around 2:00 tho. ok?"
"why are you coming back so late?" you furrow your eyebrows.
"its a long drive is all"
he always comes back with flowers, or a stuffed animal, or something of the sort when he gets back. he'll text you and keep you updated whenever you can on days like that.
❄ since you're constantly around chan, you've gotten mad close to the guys. sometimes you find it funny, the group of you talking about how chan is always gushing about you, sometimes teasing him.
once you trust them enough, Hyunjin and Felix have field days with you telling them little things and details about your relationship.
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trevorsgodmother · 7 months ago
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𝓐 đ“»đ“žđ“Ÿđ“°đ“± đ“Œđ“œđ“Șđ“»đ“œ (C.S ☁)
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Warnings: Bit of angst, swearing, obsessive fans. Basically just fluff though Summary: Y/N and Chris have been dating for a year, and he decides to tell all his fans on a livestream. However, the response isn't what he wanted
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You and Chris met in junior year through Nick. Nick thought you two's vibes just fit so well, and so after 3 years, you finally started dating. But none of you ever told the internet, since Chris was scared of all the jealous fangirls hating on you.
Now that was all about to change. You're fiddling with your fingers while sitting just outside of the camera's view, waiting for your boyfriend to start the stream and introduce you. He turns, and flashes a calming smile, "It's ok baby, they'll like you." You give him a nervous smile and nod. Of course he thought that, he wasn't the one dating the Chris Sturniolo (that would be weird). Chris starts the stream, and waits for the viewers to increase before loudly exclaiming, "HEYYY CHATTT. WELCOME TO THE STREAMMM." You read the comments coming in, ranging from greetings to thirsting over him. Some people ask where Matt is. "Sorry guys, no Matty B today. Both my brothers left me." He pretends to wipe a fake tear while you roll your eyes. "Anyways...I have a VERY special guest here with me today, and y'all won't believe it... BUT I GET BITCHES." The chat immediately fills with 'WHATTTT' 'WHO??' 'YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS' 'CHRISTOPHER STURNIOLO GET YOUR LYING ASS OUT OF HERE' 'NO YOU'RE MINEEE.' You swallow, the words on screen not helping to settle your nerves. Chris waits for a moment, then grabs the arm of your chair, and rolls it over. "HERE SHE ISS. This is Y/N, my girlfriend of a year. Say hi!" You wave to the camera with a small smile. For a second, the chat stops. Then, messages flood through at a rapid pace, and you barely catch a glimpse of one before another's replaced it. From what you can see, people think you're pretty, they congratulate Chris, and he's sitting there with a goofy-ass smile on his face.
But then the air shifts. Jealous fans start spamming, dissing your face, your body, your hair, your smile, your makeup...everything. Insecurities you hadn't had since high school bubble up, and Chris' eyes widen. He's frozen for a second, before snapping out of his horrified daze, remembering how you got bullied in high school. "Hey...HEY. CHAT. CALM THE FUCK DOWN" But it's too late. It feels like nails are being raked across your skin, sticking in your brain and making you believe everything these people are saying. Obviously they didn't know you had issues with your looks, they were just hating on the woman who'd 'stolen' their man.
Chris is pissed, rightfully. He'd been so excited to share this part of his life with his fans, but their vibe was completely off. He mutes his mic, and takes your wrist, sitting you down on his bed. By now, tears have started gathering in your eyes. "Hey...look at me. Baby, don't listen to them, they're all just jealous someone's dating your hot boyfriend" He grins cheesily. You sniffle, and roll your eyes. "Shut up."
Meanwhile, other people have started cracking down on the haters, calling them out for being jealous and asking for you two to come back. Chris walks back over, and turns the mic on. "Alright chat, you guys get one more chance to see this thick- I mean very beautiful woman on this stream. If there's more hate i'm turning it off, capisce?" The chat spams apologies and agrees wholeheartedly. Some haters still get through, but their messages are drowned out by support. You walk over slowly, sit back down, and Chris loops an arm around your shoulders. "Ok, let's do this again. This is my amazing, hot girlfriend Y/N. Introduce yourself babe." You nod, and talk about yourself a little, still a bit camera shy. Everyone's gushing over how cute Chris is with you, and how nice you are. Questions are being asked every second, and you answer as many as you can while your man sits beside you, absolutely ecstatic. All too soon, for the viewers anyway, Chris decides to end the stream. You say goodbye, and the people watching are begging for more. "Maybe we might do a second one later guys. Ooh, we can play 20 questions or something, how does that sound babe?" Chris asks. "Hmm...that's a good idea. We can answer like, couple questions too" You agree. You guys say your goodbyes, and then turn off the stream. Chris picks you up, slinging you over his shoulder and throwing you down onto his bed as you shriek. "CHRIS!" He gives you another goofy smile, and lays down next to you. "Sorry about what they said baby" He murmurs. He felt bad, the one time you decide to come on camera with him turning out horribly. You smile and shake your head. "It's ok Chris. Not my fault they can't handle me dating my 'hot boyfriend'" You mock his words from earlier. He chuckles, and rolls his eyes. "I'm not just hot. I'm pretty smart too" "No you're not, idiot"
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A/N: OMFG FIRST FIC AHHHH. 2021 me would be proud. Honestly, I have no idea what I just wrote, but please gimme feedback, and please don't steal. 🙏😔 BYEE, LOVE YOU ALL <3 Dividers by @bernardsbendystraws <3 ☞ Masterlist
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chamomiletealeaf · 1 year ago
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okay i saw your tall thick girl post and i gotta ask now
 how do we think the 141 men would react to a girl with a tummy / hip dips ? and when she’s insecure about it.
RAHHH YES
As a girl with a tummy and hipdips so deep there are men with rounder hips than me, I love this idea
The way I wrote Johnny's has ME BLUSHING MY GOD I NEED HIM
warnings: afab! fem reader, insecurities, body worship, suggestive themes, reader has a belly piercing for Gaz's blurb, MDNI
Price can not keep his hands off you. Especially if you wear a tight fitted dress. So when he catches you pulling every tight fitted piece of clothing you own out of your closet he's confused.
"Lovie what's all this?" He asks, watching you throw your clothes out your closet.
"I'm getting rid of them." You say, face hidden from him so he can't see the tears well in your eyes.
He goes to pick up a blue baby doll slip dress you loved wearing on special occasions and holds it out to look at it.
"Even this one hun'? You love this one. It looks so cute on you." He says, genuinely confused why all of a sudden you hated the clothes you seemed to love wearing.
You turn around and snatch it from him angrily and throw it back on the floor.
"Yeah well I don't love it anymore." You say, turning back around to continue pulling your clothes off the hangers.
Price cautiously walks up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist.
"Honey. What's the matter?" He gently whispers in your ear.
You stop your movements and close your eyes, biting your lip to try and stop the tears from falling.
You hang your head and let out a quiet sob which causes him to turn you around and wrap his arms around you.
"Hey, c'mon it's ok. What's all this about sweetheart? Talk to me please." He says and lifts your chin up to look at him. "Why are you cryin' sweets?"
You sniffle and try to talk between sobs.
"I- I just wish I looked different. None of these clothes look good on me. If I was skinnier or had fuller hips, or-" You ramble while crying but Price cuts you off.
"Oh honey. Sweetheart." He says and wipes your tears then kisses your forehead. "I don't see what you see. You are the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my eyes on. What got this stupid idea that you're not pretty enough in your little head hm?" He asks, still holding you like you'd fall out of his reach.
"I just- why do you even like me? All those girls in those catalogues I have look nothing like me." You say, refusing to look him in the eye.
"What? Why would I want anyone else? Who cares about the catalogue girls they're not you?" He questions.
"My tummy, and my hip dips, and-"
"Lemme stop you right there." He says, and drops to his knees.
"Listen love. I don't know why you think you're not the most beautiful woman in the world, so let me help set it straight hm?" He says, leaning his head on your thigh.
"John." You whisper, tears still falling.
"Uh-uh, unless the next words out of your mouth are about how perfect you are I don't wanna hear them." He says while placing a kiss to your thigh.
He runs his hands up your thighs to rest on your hips under your pajama shorts you're wearing.
"You. Are perfect." He says between kisses up your legs. He leaves his hands on your hips and goes to leave a little bite on your hip bone.
"And your hips are perfect too. I don't know why you hate them so much darling. The way they dip in right here is so fucking sexy. Looks so damn good when you wear that cute little fitted skirt with it. Really shows them off. Can't help but squeeze your hips when I see them." He says, moving his kisses right where your hips dimple in on both sides.
Then he moves his hands up from your hips to your soft tummy from under your shorts, keeping his wrists pinned to you. He moves his mouth from your hips to your tummy where he leaves little bites and kisses.
"And this cute little tummy my god." He says with a squeeze making you whimper.
"John stop." You say, trying to push his head away from embarrassment.
"No." He says like you offended him. "I said I was gonna show you just how perfect you actually are so that's what I'm gonna do whether you like it or not."
He sucks a mark onto your tummy making you whine from the tickling sensation of his tongue and beard on your delicate skin.
"You know, that babydoll dress is my favorite too. Shows off your tummy so nicely. Just wanna squeeze you when you wear it. And these shorts. You know how I feel about you in low waisted pants lovie. You always look so soft." His hands are still gripping and kneading your hips from under your shorts and his mouth is kissing and sucking on every part of your skin he can reach around your hips and tummy.
"John please. Tickles." You say with a giggle this time.
"Ah there it is. That pretty smile." He says
"Why don't you let me show you what other parts of you I love as well darling, if you know what I mean." He says with a mischievous grin looking up at you from on his knees, and how could you ever say no to him?
Gaz sees you in a cropped tank top and low waisted pajama pants which shows off your belly piercing and he stares at you like a deer in headlights. You walk past him in the kitchen to make yourself some tea or something and Gaz just... Watches....
"What?" You ask, looking at him with your mug while you wait for the water to heat up.
"Nothing you just..." Gaz starts, "You just look really cute."
"I'm just wearing pajamas." You say, eyebrows furrowed, wondering what could be so cute about you right now.
Gaz takes a step closer and holds your face in his hands.
"Yeah, pajamas that look really cute on you. You always look cute." He says before kissing your lips.
His hands run down your body over your ass which he squeezes, making you yelp. Then his hand comes around to play with your belly piercing.
"You know this little piercing you got is so fucking sexy." He says with a smirk.
"Yeah? I almost didn't get it because, well, my tummy." You say embarrassed.
"What? Uh, hello, that's all more the reason to get one sweetheart. Tummies are cute. Especially yours." He says that last part into your ear while his hands travel up from your ass to grab at your hips.
You giggle, but pull away to pull down your tank top and pull your pajama pants up so they hide your tummy. Gaz catches on and grabs your wrists to stop your movements, and he puts your shirt and pants back in place.
"No. Keep 'em there. Don't get all shy now honey." He says. "Now turn around and lemme see that cute lil' ass and those sexy hips while you make your tea."
Simon noticed you had hip dips when he first saw you out of your cargos while at a formal and he could not stop staring at them. And the way you walked in that long cocktail gown that accentuated the dips in your hips made him instantly hard. He imagined how cute and delicate they would look while he pounded you from behind, making perfect handles for him, and he wondered if you had back dimples too where he could put his thumbs while his hands grabbed your hip dips. He also noticed the way the dress stretched over your tummy, showing your pudge. He could tell you were wearing a girdle or something, but he wished you would have just let your tummy out fully. He thought it was the cutest thing and made you look like Aphrodite. And he knew he had to make you his.
"What are you doin' lovie." He asks, seeing you standing in your full body mirror in your shared bedroom in some new underwear you bought. "Oh. Are those new?" He asks with a smirk, noticing you're just in your new panties you're modeling for yourself and a t shirt.
"I like those. The color is sexy on you." He says, coming up behind you grabbing your ass while resting his head on your shoulder.
"Hm. I don't know. I don't have the body to pull this type of cut off." You say ashamedly.
"What? What do you mean? They look fuckin' amazing on you." He says as he turns you around so you're facing him.
"I don't know, it's not very flattering on me. It's low waisted so it shows my tummy and the band shows off my hip dips." You say, looking down and tugging at the underwear.
"Sweetheart. You just described the best parts about these panties." He says with a smirk as he goes to hold your face with his hand, running a thumb over your lips.
"You can be honest Simon. You don't have to lie. I already know it looks bad." You say, and Simon gets visibly upset.
He steps back a few steps to sit down on the bed and he reaches his hands out to grab you by the hips so you come with him. He tugs so you're standing in between his legs looking down at him.
"Turn around." He says sternly, and you do what he says, turning back around to face the mirror again.
Simon peeks his head out around you and presses his face into your side while his hands grab your thighs.
"Look at yourself bunny. You see this perfect fuckin' woman in the mirror? That's you. And this perfect, gorgeous body is yours too." He says, then he plants a kiss on your hip.
"Go on sweetheart. Say it. Say you're perfect." Simon demands, kneading your thighs and hips while leaving kisses all over your thick waist.
"I'm perfect." You mumble, embarrassed at the words.
"Louder." He says, before he goes to bite at the band of the pretty new panties you bought, pulling it back with his teeth and letting it go, snapping it back in place against your skin, making you jump.
"I- I'm perfect." You say louder, and Simon smiles.
"Good. Now get up here on the bed. Gonna fuck you through these cheeky little panties to show you just how perfect I think you are now."
Johnny actually has no shame. You and him are put together for a mission and the safe house you had was actually super nice. Some air bnb in the woods with a hot tub, so you brought a little bikini just incase you had any time to actually stay at the house. And besides, it was just Johnny there, so who cares?
Johnny did. Johnny cared very much.
You got one full night in the house since you and Johnny finished the mission earlier than expected. Yeah, you guys were just good like that, so you decided to celebrate with drinks and the hot tub you've both been dying to get in.
Johnny is already out there with a beer and you approach him wrapped in a towel with your drink in hand.
"Mind if I join you Sergeant?" You ask playfully.
"Not at all lass. Water's fine." He smiles.
You were trying to figure out how to get into the tub without taking the towel off long enough where Johnny could see your body, but there was really no way to do that. You were self conscious, and what if he didn't like what he saw? But you knew the only way to get in without wetting the towel, was to just take the towel off before stepping in. So that's what you did.
You placed your drink down on the little table by the tub and quickly took the towel off, crossing your arms over your body to hide as much as you could. Johnny noticed and felt bad you felt uncomfortable. After all, he did love what he saw. But Johnny was Johnny, and he stared anyway.
You unwrapped your arms from over your body to step into the tub and you stood on the ledge in it, water coming up right above your knees giving Johnny a full view of your whole body.
He rakes his eyes up and down your body and notices the softness of your body, especially the curvature of your hips and how they dipped in at one point.
cute he thought as he went to take a swig of his beer, eyes never leaving your body.
He also took note of the cute roll of your tummy when you bent down to sit and it made him grin around the beer bottle opening. You were adorable.
"Well fuck me lass. didn't know you had all that under that tac gear." He said with a smirk, and his eyes had a mischievous glint to them.
Johnny always flirted like this, so this was nothing new.
"Oh shut up Johnny." You said with an embarrassed laugh and turned around to reach for your drink. You couldn't reach it, so you had to climb out the hot tub a little bit more, notching your hips on the edge of the tub as you bent over to reach for your drink, giving Johnny the perfect view of your ass, the dips of your hips, and the mound of your covered pussy, which made Johnny's cock twitch in his swim shorts.
You and Johnny always had this unspoken thing, so it wasn't abnormal for this tension to be here. It was just heavier than normal tonight.
You grabbed your drink and sat back into the tub, moving a little closer to Johnny.
"You can come closer bonnie, I don't bite." He says moving up right next to you to lean into your ear to say:
"Unless you want me to." He whispers, making you shiver.
That night ended with Johnny fucking you over the edge of the hot tub, his face buried between your thighs from the same position, and multiple missed phone calls from Price.
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infinizero · 1 year ago
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Ok so
There is this trope about ghosts not reaching maturity until they've been ghosts for several centuries
There is ALSO the trope that ghosts fight as a sort of way to communicate
With the power of these two tropes combined-- I give you this strange headcanon:
Ghosts become mature adult ghosts after 500 years.
Danny and his usual troublemakers are all in the same "daycare".
He's just the youngest + most unique ghost so they like playing around with him the most. In other words, it's the ghost version of older siblings ordering their younger siblings around
As far as ghosts go,
There are blobs, ghost animals, shades (those are ghosts as we know it) and ghosts (aka Infinite Realms Beings) etc etc
The blobs and etc are, well, blobs and etc
But ghosts need a while to fully grow up and be considered adult
And so, if these ghosts are children, they need guardians or caretakers at the daycare right?
Correct
Baby ghosts are under the care of the nearest authority (Ancient or Leader or etc etc)
Except baby ghosts usually stay near where they were born and Danny and Co just so happen to be near Pariah Dark
Pariah Dark is asleep
But Fright Knight is there!
Except Fright Knight is also sealed
And it's one thing to wake up the ultra powerful megalomaniac tyrant kinda parent figure but not really you're supposed to have and another to drag your oldest adult sibling out of their room to touch grass
In other words, the surrounding authorities just went eh the babies can contact fright Knight if anything happens
But then Danny defeats Pariah and inherits his authority
So he technically becomes the caretaker of baby ghosts in the area while being the youngest baby ghost himself
Hence the other ancients visiting and *playing* with him to see if it's ok to leave the babies with this other baby
And since they're ghosts who don't have human guidelines or morals, decide that since he's that strong it should be fine to leave it alone
Besides he has Fright Knight! Good 'ol Frighty will definitely help out this new baby kid ghost with doing everything!
Meanwhile, Fright Knight waiting for Danny to come claim the crown and ring: ...
Cue Danny's rogues coming up to him to show him shit they accomplished
Youngblood : Phantom look at this cool baking soda volcano that spews out real lava!!
Danny: It does WHAT
Youngblood: Look!
Danny: NO
Ember: Hey Babybop wanna listen to the new song I wrote? It compels humans to start cults based on my name!
Danny: Ember, no
Ember: I think you mean Ember YES
Skulker: Ghost boy I have skinned an alien and brought you a pelt turned into a coat
Danny: ...you did WHAt
Skulker: It is nearing winter time and one must always be ready for winter time
Danny, having an existential meltdown after seeing his parents and Vlad get it on together: Desiree what the actual fuck??? Did you do????
Desiree: I merely fulfilled a wish
Johnny: Hey Phantom look we got matching tattoos to celebrate our anniversary!
Kitty: Wait what did you just say?
Johnny: uh, we got tattoos for our anniversary?
Kitty: ...our anniversary is in TWO MONTHS. THAT was for my DEATHDAY.
Johnny: ...oh shit
Danny, about to soup them both: Man, get good
Lunch Lady: Phantom have you eaten your proteins today?!
Danny: uh... Yeah?
Lunch Lady, already throwing meat at him: EAT MORE
Danny:
Box ghost: WITNESS! THE GREAT BOX MECHA!
Danny: oh come on seriously
And on the other hand,
Walker, dumping ten piles of paper in Danny's room: Phantom, here are the latest forms that need revisions
Spectra: What do you MEAN you're not allowing me to open a beauty salon in order to dig into other girls' insecurities and maintain my own beauty?! That's why it's called a beauty salon!!
Cujo and Wulf who are both the best boys and favorites, with smug faces:
Fright Knight still waiting for Danny to accept the ring and crown:
Plasmius: What the heck is this weird feeling my ghost side keeps making me feel??
Plasmius: is it... Is there perhaps a ghostly way I can adopt the little badger??
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neptunes-sol-angel · 2 years ago
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Well let's fuck around and find out đŸ€­đŸ˜‰
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Pile One
This could be someone who's a friend that you need to cut off or someone who you've already cut off. I would say that this is a parent, but this is looking like someone who has this false sense of authority over people and in general isn't a good person to be around. I'm getting this image of someone hiding in the shadows who comes out at just the right time at the right place to make a move on you. The parental energy that I'm picking up on could relate to one of their negative traits, which is analyzing voids that you could have internally. It could seem like they're fulfilling you emotionally, but really this is deception that they use against you later. Affection, validation, or someone who listens is what could they hold above your head to convince you that you need them or that they hold the answers to how you should live your life. This person fucked around trying to gain control over you and now they're finding out that you're no one's puppet and that you're strong enough to both walk away and wake up from the trance that you don't have any glamour. Or this could be someone who was very delusional thinking that walking away from you would make your life halt, but there's light being shed on just how powerful your magnetism actually is. They walked away just to come back to watch how you're flourishing and still gaining attention from unapologetically being you, they see you birthing abundance in your life, they realize how your originality is undeniable, if your presence on social media is public, they could be lurking and taking notes on the shine that you vibrate effortlessly. Pile One you're the blueprint, baby!
Pile Two
This is an opportunist who is a friend to no one but themselves. Their concept of loyalty is that they're ok with you giving it unconditionally to them, but theirs has terms and conditions, and they're strongly offended when you reflect their way of thinking by withdrawing your loyalty. This is someone who is constantly in some drama, never has their priorities together, and if you dare suggest what they could do to help themselves, they'll give an excuse for why they don't want to do the things that will bring stability to them or at least reduce the trouble that they get into. An overall immature person. This could also be someone you work with or had a partnership with, there's envy and jealousy that they have over you and instead of working on their feelings, they'd rather do something slick behind your back to to to make sense of the animosity they have for you. This is someone who doesn't play fair and see things as deep enough for them to sabotage you. They fucked around and found out about how karma and your guides don't play about you. They overestimated their reign of how much they could overstep and they're in a position now to where they can't weasel their way out of the consequences. The theme here is a loss of security. Their self-grandeur is withering away to a lack of confidence, they could have lost their job or are severely losing momentum in getting ahead in their life. It's like their tricks are no longer working and how they tried to stagnate others has now blocked their own blessings because they're incapable of moving forward. This person has to get out of having this main character syndrome, their inability to be a team-player by supporting others or clapping for others has left them in a pit of the same cycles that they thought they could take shortcuts out of whether it be understanding how immoral it is to use others or learning that trying to knock someone down doesn't truly elevate them from their insecurities.
Pile Three
This person could have you on their mind a lot or you show up in their dreams frequently. This could be a love interest from the past or someone who you've used to talk to on an almost daily basis. You could have helped them in some way or there was something in this connection that they may have tried to downplay or had trouble understanding. I'm getting that they fucked around and found out about your effect on them which is someone who they'll never forget lol. I'm also getting that this could be someone who you're currently talking to who underestimated the feelings that they get when they're around you, or how much you positivity you bring in their life. However, this really does give a chaser and runner type dynamic, where you were eventually the chaser and now they're the runner. If this is a past person, this is someone who misses you dearly, and may have fumbled in the beginning of you two parting ways with each other, by pretending and overcomenpensating the facade of someone who has "moved on". For some people, this could be ex-friends or family members who are deeply feeling the downsides of your absence but are too prideful to apologize to you or tell you that they miss you and would like you back in their lives.
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year2000electronics · 7 months ago
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about yer mario hottakes im rollin in with thoughts on the mario-luigi dynamic.
i've heard so many people go back and forth between them having this 100% perfect brotherly love VS. mario is evil and hates poor baby luigi but i think that maybe it's just they're both complex characters and mario deeply insecure
like that tennis scene where he grinds luigi's foot after luigi wins instead of him. when your whole livelihood revolves around being the kingdom's favorite boy it makes sense you might lash out at being upstaged even if that's fucked up as hell to do to anybody. and while luigi's allowed and expected to outwardly express his fears (at least from diary entries i've seen in the paper mario series and luigi's general "coward" persona), who the hell is listening to mario? he's probably seen how shit people treat luigi for being vulnerable anyway (we play as mario usually witnessing all this and like. bros are real yikes to luigi), so i'd imagine the bottled up bitterness at the world is hard to contain. resentment towards luigi for being emotionally open, resentment towards the denizens of the kingdom for treating his brother like crap when mario probably wouldn't be too different if it wasn't his job to be
i'd imagine the moments he cant contain his cool like that are deep regrets. sure, luigi would forgive him, but can he forgive himself? can mario contain himself long enough to not wig out, especially with everyone watching him 24/7?
idk if this is super off base, i don't go to this school. but imo put mario in therapy, you can't be strong for everyone all the time. you're just some guy
YEAHYEAH i think even if the middle section is YMMV i do agree with the general idea that "the bros' relationship is more complex than 'they love each other' or 'they hate each other'" . like ok. being the most BANAL of canon-compliant here to reel back my own insanity for a second. it is canon that mario gets a bit competitive with luigi/his friends! we see multiple art pieces/cutscenes depicting this
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because they are siblings. and im gonna be so real here i latch onto any sort of flaw mario is ALLOWED to have due to his status as Mascot so you can pry "mario gets a bit too competitive" from my cold dead hands
he's also shown to be a bit impatient if he percieves something is taking too much time
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(from super mario sunshine)
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(from bowser's fury)
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(from luigi's mansion 1)
so i definitely see his stubbornness and impulsivity clashing with luigi's careful methodical approach.
ALL THAT TO SAY. i think even if you're just playing by the rules, i think you don't have to JUST go for one extreme or the other. i agree. the rest is purely speculative fanon applying some depth to a character who functionally does not necessarily "need" it.
(but my personal playground space interp of mario and luigi absolutely has this sort of clashing dualism where both bros are really stressed out with the hand that life has given them and they're always thinking "my brother doesn't know how good he has it" but they love each other despite that, and that love makes them not want to talk about how they really feel, and that makes it WORSE, etc etc etc)
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loud-kid2 · 9 months ago
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@peaches2217 KB headcanon time since it's all I've been able to do today (I have no clue what's going on, I just feel like crap for no reason)
So I HC that there are three King Boos, nobody knew that for a while since they collectively decided to fuck with everyone by pretending to be the same person. They're also triplets (based on my HC about how Boos are born, I'll share that at some point). They also have a mild Irish accent that they got from the Boo that raised them, they also all have a unique power that only they have. They have different names but share the same title, their names are Alexander, Henry and King.
This is Alex, the eldest of the three
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He's the smallest and nobody knows why exactly, he's just kinda like that. His unique ability is the manipulation of sound and sonic screams, he's ok at controlling his powers but because of his extremely condensed power it's not easy to do so, when he's extremely upset or frustrated there is a very high chance his powers will act up. His job is external affairs, things like trade, alliances, and publicity stunts (kart races and sporting events mostly). Alexander is the most energetic of his brothers by far, he often needs to be reigned in either by Boo-Hoo (the guy who raised them and their advisor) or his wife Rosemarie.
The second one is Henry
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The friendliest of the three, his unique ability is the manipulation of disease, he uses it on people who don't respect the dead and/or dying. Henry's got a severe fear of the dark and being confined because of a very traumatic experience where some amateur ghost hunters captured him and kept him someplace dark, Henry also hated it when his younger brother got himslef captured because he'd become extremely paranoid for a while after, he's never told anyone about what caused his fear of the dark and fear of confinement mostly because he's not ready to confront that trauma quite yet. His job is mostly internal affairs but he does have one external affairs job and that's going to political parties, mostly because he's the friendliest but also because Alex can't be trusted with alcohol, he also sometimes helps new ghosts adjust to being undead. A little fun fact about Henry is that if he is confined in a dark place for too long he will physically regress to look how he did when his trauma happened (due to a shape-shifting ability all three of them have)
The youngest is King
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His unique power is contol over illusions. He's the most temperamental of his brothers, often snapping at people when he's upset, frustrated or things aren't going his way. His job is literally just managing their alliance with Bowser, other than that he spends most of his time listening to opera music (all three are fans but King's the most obsessed), restoring paintings or turning people into paintings. Before he got that gem in his crown he was actually the weakest of his brothers, any and all abilities he had weren't what they should have been, the gem put him on par with Henry, he's always been insecure about being "the weak link" of his brothers so after he got his power boost he's been over compensating by being way to overconfident and extremely aggressive.
All three of them are classically trained in a different instrument, Alexander is a violinist, Henry's a flautist and King plays a pipe organ.
The triplets are also extremely close, despite not spending much time together anymore they do keep in regular contact. When they were young they were practically inseparable, and when they were babies they'd cry when one of them had to be taken out of the other two's line of sight. They were also commonly found sleeping in a little cuddle puddle (Henry and King often found unintentionally crushing poor little Alex) as both kids and babies, despite having their own rooms as kids
@silly-inky I'm tagging you here too because of new info I haven't shared with you yet
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t3kandson · 10 months ago
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Player in Danger
Word count; 11,663
Fandom; The Boyz, Straykids and a little Itzy.
Pairing; Reader X Bang Christopher, Reader X Seo Changbin, Seo Changbin X Bang Christopher & Reader X Lee Juyeon.
Characters; Bang Christopher, Seo Changbin, Lee Juyeon, Sohn Eric, Kim Sunwoo, Ji Changmin, Kim Younghoon, Choi Chanhee, Hur Hyunjun, Lee Hyunjae, Lee Minho & Shin Ryujin. Mentions of Lee Sangyeon, Moon Kevin, Ju Haknyeon, Han Jisung, Kim Seungmin & Yang Jeongin.
Warnings, Angst, Jealousy, Bitterness, Deceiving, Trapping, insecurity, Denial, Betrayal, Miscarriage talk, Cheating, Wanking, Pegging, Sub Christopher, Dom Reader.
Taglist; @nyu-topia
Notes; part 6/7 of Player.
Previous parts found here.
Including the previous part Player in Denial.
Juyeon’s POV
"You ok Juyeon?" Lulu’s voice came to your attention. "Let's sit down," she said as she tried to place her hand warmly on your shoulder. Gently persuading you to move towards the side room. But you stopped briefly a few steps later. "Who's the baby's dad?" You questioned praying for another reason for the swelling in her stomach. "Who do you think?" She snorts almost amused as your eyes widen.
"It's Changmin," she said confidently as you feel like everything is lifted from you. "Wait you thought," she started giggling excited. "Wait if I knew that's where your mind went I would have played along," she smirked walking in front of you as your feet moved to follow her. "And your sure, your sure it's Changmin’s," you asked remembering you had lost Jubin from a misunderstanding. "They are Changmin’s," she said stroking her bump excitedly as she walked to the relative room with you. "They're?" You questioned as she chuckled once more. "I'm having twins that's why I'm so huge for a five-month pregnant woman," she chuckles as her hands massaged her belly. "It's ok were both saved, you're not the father if that's what your asking," she said as she sits. "You happy?" You ask as she nods almost looking besotted. "Can't believe Changmin didn't tell me, the dark horse," you said as she smiled his way. "He wanted to, he wanted to show them off. But I stopped him," she said as you tilted your head confused. "Why?" You asked as she smiled softly. "Because it's weird you know letting your partner tell your ex that he's right," she paused as you pointed at yourself further puzzled. "You told me I would find a better life and I did. But their was a part of me that was hoping you was miserable and missed me," she said honestly as she clenched her hands on her knees. "Especially when I heard you was being the most doting uncle to the child that's biologically yours with her," she said looking pained. You knew she would have found out about Jubin as you knew Elle would have rushed to tell her. But you didn't think for a second the pain that she must have suffered. Though she had been the person you had cheated on Y/N with. You knew she was madly in love with you and had paid the price already. "It's ok I got over it the second these little bundles came," she said brushing her hand around her bump once more. "I don't need to be jealous of her anymore because I have my own happy story," she said pushing her loose hair behind her ear. "I'm really happy for you," you said holding your hand out to her. "I really hope that their healthy and you finally get your happy ever after," you said standing up.
"You off already?" She said looking a little disappointed not to talk more with you. "Eric just informed me Sunwoo told Jubin I'm her father, so I have my own happy ever after to catch," you said as she looked saddened for you. "I hope you can catch it and be a father to your little girl. Sangyeon says your so good with her that he's seeing you grow into a good man," she said standing up. "Wow a compliment from Sangyeon," you said almost dazed from that confession. "I know but he seems to have eased up on both of us since my baby news and you stepping up for your daughter. I think he finally forgives us or more importantly me," she says looking at peace with that. "Hard not to when he's the one married and with kids too," you chuckled as she deadpanned your way. "Think you two should put this all behind you now and stop living in the past. If he's willing to do that you should too," she said starting to walk out the room. Suddenly she moaned out her lips pursing as your heart started to panic again. "Lulu what's up? Are the babies ok?” you asked panicky as your hands went to her shoulders. "It's ok just one of the little mischief makers has just woken up and yeah I'm starting to feel the kicks," she chuckled blowing her hair strand out her eyesight. "Their kicking already?" You asked in awe as she smiled even more at you. "Yes, feel," she said pressing your hand to her stomach. Small little bumps into your palm even over her clothing was felt. It felt so emotional and your heart was blossoming as the thought of her own happiness their growing in her. Though you were sad you never experienced this with Jubin their was a part of you that wanted this so badly with Y/N. The desire to have her in your arms and make her the mother of a sibling for your daughter. You wanting to enjoy all these moments with her. "Don't you go getting attached Lee Juyeon," she smirks. "I'm not I promise, I just hope one day I get this experience myself," you said still enjoying the feeling of the babies beneath your palm. "With Y/N?” she asks into the silence. "It's ok I know you want it and you can be honest and say it," she says looking at you without any pain. "Is it bad that I want to say yes, I want to snatch her and our daughter and run away from the life she has," you admitted feeling all kinds of guilt hit. "Even if it means taking them away from Changbin and Christopher," she asks as you nod closing your eyes with the bad thoughts. "Sometimes dreams come from breaking someone else's, it's sad, it's bad. But if she's meant to be with them she won't leave them. If she does then she never wanted them," she said smiling. "Just don't force it taking them by force. A booby prize isn't worth the fake relationship you get," she said looking in a little in pain. "Sorry," you said letting your hands fall from her. "It's ok like I said without that I wouldn't have had these. You were the brambles I had to trench through to find Nevada," she chuckled as you mirrored shaking your head at her. "Go fight for your baby mama babe," she said pressing a kiss to your cheek before walking towards Elle’s Labour room. She turns to you once more to find you stood there. "Go, shoo, go find your happy ever after," she said looking complete. Your heart feels at peace knowing that everything between you has settled. It isn't just you that's grown and changed but her too, but maybe it's what parenthood does to you.
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Ringing Y/N hadn't been fruitful. Her phone was turned off as it had been for a while. It either was off or your calls avoided all together these days. You knew Changbin wouldn't be answering but you felt frustrated with Christopher. He had supported you since saving Jubin. You couldn't help but fear that the truth being revealed would push you away from your daughter. You had regular nightmares of finding them moved away. It took two weeks for Christopher to respond finally. He had told you Y/N wasn't feeling very well and that he would take over arrangements with Jubin and would bring her to you. His usual happy self was faded when his eyes took yours. "Samchon Juju," Jubin cried as she ran to you excited. You could have heard your heart collapse hearing her remain at calling you uncle. You don't know what you expected, but it felt like the relations with them three had been thrown to dust. Added with the extra pain that your own daughter had still decided to call you uncle instead of daddy. If it wasn't for the fact you knew Y/N confirmed her paternity you would have expected them to be angry with you for your friend revealing the truth.
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"I don't know why your complaining, you get alone time with out them now," Minho said as you watched from the garden as Ryujin and Jubin was baking. "I know that that's great progress. But it's not fair on our daughter this icy atmosphere. We all need to talk it through as it's not solving anything right now," you complain drinking the lime water Jubin made you minutes before her cooking class with Minho’s wife. "Have you asked Christopher this?" He asks relaxing on the garden chairs. "Yes I'm always texting all three of them. It's like I'm being punished," you said whining. "Maybe by heavily acknowledging your Jubin's father they want to keep a good distance between you and her. Maybe this is a sign to move on," he said lifting his sunglasses so that his eyes could stay in contact with yours. "What I'm over here, not their pining over her," you said hands in the air as he deadpanned you. "Coming from the bloke who can't cope now he can't see her," he scoffs as you felt exposed. "Well yes ok I miss her, as a friend," you said as he shook his head. "Fine I will speak to them for you, but this is the one and only time I will interfere. You got it," he growls your way. "Your do it," you asked with excitement as he rolled his eyes. "Thanks hopefully we can go back to being all civil, friendly and happy," you said relaxing as Jubin appeared with a cake bowl and a spoon in hand licking it as the mixture falls upon her messy face. "Had fun princess?" You ask as you sit her on your lap and snuggle into her. Holding your bundle brings you so much joy even if it's bitter sweet on all the years missed. "Yes i did, can we come here and make cakes with Auntie Ryujin again daddy," she said as you almost choked on your own spit. Eyes blinking as you could see your heart pumping through them. Your daughter called you daddy for the first time. It was so surreal to hear her call you that that you forgot to even breathe let alone reply. "Your always welcome here sweetie," Ryujin said saving you from your moment of not even being able to function. "Really that would be so good, Mummy doesn't know how to cook that well," she said as you couldn't help but chuckle. "She called me daddy," you mouthed to Minho as he nodded happy for you. "Hey princess, we should start organising that horse riding i promised you. What do you think of that?" You asked as your hands played with her hair. She turned to you in pure excitement. "Really, Oh Daddy I so can't wait," she said throwing her arms around you. Holding her tight to you you felt the most contented you had ever felt. Jubin was your life and you weren't ever letting go of this feeling of pure contentment of family life with your little girl.
Minho had offered to drive Jubin home so he could speak with them both. But he had come back saying it wasn't successful, Changbin had refused to even discuss Jubin with him telling him politely to mind his business.
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However, the following day you were summoned by Changbin himself, so maybe their was a change at heart. Going to the cafe to meet them had you feeling content that you were finally able to get your life back. Instead of all three of them, you found Changbin's arms folded and looking annoyed. Reminding you when he first realised who you were at Minho's wedding. Feeling self conscious all of a sudden you sat down. "Just you?" You asked as he chuckled with annoyance. "Why expecting Y/N?" He scoffs as your brows furrowed. "No was expecting you and Christopher," you half lied. "Well Y/N is taking it easy she's hopefully pregnant with our baby," he said defining the word Our. "Y/N's pregnant?" You scoff having his words hit you like a truck. "I thought you two was close, didn't she tell you," he said almost smirking. "Maybe we wasn't as close as you feared Changbin," you said with slight avoidance of a connection with Y/N. "We've been trying for a child for a while, be nice to give Jubin another sibling," he said sitting up straight as your head tilts at his words. "Another why you hiding a kid I didn't already know?" You said intrigued. "No that's you," he said accusingly. "Huh?" You said almost dumbfounded. "I'm sure unless theirs other children I didn't know about, which ok I will admit a chance of that, that their is just Jubin," you said almost bewildered with where this conversation was going. "And this is why Y/N doesn't want to see you, because you haven't changed. You're still lying even about your own child yet you want us all to sit around the table and discuss Jubin," he said picking up his cup of coffee to take a sip of it. "Wait I'm totally confused what you are accusing me of doing?" You said getting slightly annoyed. "That was all I needed to hear to prove your still the game player Y/N feared you was. In future if you want to play Daddy At least talk to us first before making her call you that," he said standing up. Now anger was rising through you, who did he think he was trying to take the one joy you had as a father away from you. "Excuse me, I know you like playing at being a daddy to my daughter but you don't get to tell My daughter what she chooses to call me. For the record she was the one who called me Daddy off her own back," you growled wanting to punch his smirking grin off his face. "Well if your friend didn't spill that on her she wouldn't feel forced to call a man she barely knows Dad," Changbin said scrunching his nose in bitterness.
"Barely knows I've almost known her for half a year, for the record if your girlfriend didn't want our daughter to know me as her daddy. Then why did she confirm what my stupid friend said. I heard she didn't put up that much of a fight. Ask yourself why that is Seo Changbin," you spat at him watching his smirk fade slightly. "Just admit your scared, your terrified that Y/N still has feelings. Ask yourself this why was she making sure to come on trips with me and Jubin. I didn't need her there, she went because she wanted to," you said into his face before he grabbed you by your collar. "Go on punch me you know you want to, because you know I'm right. All this this is because your scared now Jubin knows the truth that I'm going to take her away from you," you hit out as his face went red. "Please can you take this outside," the owner of the cafe said approaching as Changbin released his grip on you. "It's ok I'm taking my leave anyway, tell my daughter I love her and will see her for our weekend Friday," you said smirking at him as you went to walk off. "Why don't you focus on your kid with Lulu and leave Jubin to us?" He said in a almost pleaded demand as you spun on your heel towards him. Everything suddenly made sense, had they seen Lulu at the hospital looking pregnant and presumed the same then him. "Changbin you need to get some facts straight. Lulu is pregnant, but not with my kid, it's Changmin. Ask Sangyeon to confirm it as you guys are all up his ass these days," you said watching his face relax slightly. "But nice to know you played on Y/N’s emotions with her to get her away from me because of your pointless fear," you said walking towards him. "If you're interfering still continues to affect my relationship with my daughter I will come take Y/N from you that's a promise," you threatened watching anger fill through him again. With that you walked out the cafe annoyed and irritated. Had he seen Lulu and convinced Y/N that you were hiding a child. No wonder she was ignoring you. Though you took joy from making Changbin jealous his previous words stung. She was pregnant with their baby. Did this mean it was all over, their was no chance of winning her back? No way of having her in any way in your life. Their was no way he would let his pregnant partner near an ex. You were caught between anger but also regret, she should be carrying your child, you should be married and excited for the birth of your second child with her. Though you wanted to blame everyone that had made this path uneven you couldn't help but know deep down that this was on you.
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Y/N’s POV
You had been woken up by a bouncing Jubin on your bed. Having been asleep when she got back from Juyeon's the previous night. And all she wanted to talk about was her time with her daddy. It had taken a while for you guys to suddenly figure her talking about Juyeon. Changbin's hurt in his eyes at hearing her address Juyeon as her Dad. You wanted to console him but knew no words could, you had made this mess. Hopefully you would be pregnant soon enough and be able to truly show them how sorry you were. "Are you ok?" You said hands brushing up his muscular arms that would normally turn you into a mushy mess. "I'm fine," he said opening his arms for you to sink into. Something else being new as he had suddenly started being more needy. "I know your upset with the whole Jubin calling Juyeon Daddy. I'm sorry I had hoped this would all go away," you said as he leaned his head onto your shoulder. "I'm sure once his baby’s born he will soon forget her and move on," you tried to paint. Deep down you knew Juyeon would never run from Jubin. He hadn't yet, even knowing he was having a child with Lulu. But their was a part of you that knew that him abandoning Jubin would solve all this mess. "You don't mean that Y/N that's not fair on Jubin," Christopher said coming from behind you. "It's a bit selfish on our behalf to wish that. At the end of the day that man is her father," he said hands held high as you rolled your eyes in defeat. He was right, he was always was, in your jealousy you were wishing something that would hurt your daughter. Guilt hit through your body as such bad thoughts. "How come Minho brought her home yesterday anyway," he asked as your head zapped to Changbin, not even aware. "Nothing much, just thought it would be easier for us if he brought her. Think he just wanted to chat about random stuff, you know man time," he said tensing slightly. "That was good of him," Christopher said as he made his way to the garden when Jubin came through the back door. "Daddy Chris,” She said making you blink as she rarely called him that. He was Daddy and Changbin was Daddy Binnie. "When can I see Daddy next?" She asked as you felt the air be sucked from Changbin. "I'm sure at the weekend you can see Daddy Juju," Changbin said with a little dominance in his tone. It was clear he was attempting to bring some form of lack of importance to Juyeon. "Why can't he come for tea, I like it when your all here," she said looking hopeful as Christopher picked her into his arms. "We're really busy at the moment Princess, it's hard when all of us Daddy's are working hard for lots of things to pay for your treats," he said as Changbin picked his phone up in pure anger and annoyance and started typing. "Binnie," you said with a confused glance his way but his phone was tilted out of your view. "You mean like my horse riding lessons, Daddy said he would take me this weekend," she said as Christopher looked to you both. Changbin had his back to you all, both you and Christopher knew that he wasn't in a pleasing mood. "Baby," you whispered as your hand fell to his shoulder before he turned to look your way like nothing had happened. "I'm ok I promise," he said as if he has snapped himself out his moment of inside rage. "How about we fix these dance lessons we promised you, come show me what lessons you would like," he said walking to Christopher to take her from his arms. As he walked to the table to the laptop resting their you walked towards Christopher. "What are we going to do," you said almost hopeful he had a plan to fix this. "We can't do much, we can only try to navigate through this. But Y/N it's going to be hard. We need to keep a strong stable civil stance for Jubin's sake," he whispered before leaving you standing their watching Changbin with Jubin all excited at the prospect of her lessons.
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"You not eating," Christopher said as Changbin walked passed the dinner table towards the door. "I got some errands to do," he growled without giving you a glance. "Where are you going?” you said rushing to join him before he could leave. "I just said some errands," he said a lot more softer with a smile. "I will be back soon I promise, got to pick up a few bits that's all. That and get some fresh air. Today’s been hard, so going to pop into Jisungs. He said holding your hand as you pecked him on the cheek. He had been through the mill recently due to your actions the least he could do was have some him time with his friend.
When he returned drunk he crawled into the bed that you were snuggling up tight to Christopher in. His arms reaching around you cramming you between himself and Christopher. Lips falling along your neck as you smell his night on him, abrupting you from your sleep. Eyes too tired and slammed shut refusing to open he pouted against your skin. "Please don't leave us for him," he pleaded pulling his arms around your stomach. "Your really break my heart if you leave," he chokes almost tearful. "I've never wanted anything so much as I've wanted Chris, you, Jubin and our baby. Please don't let him take you from us," he whimpers that you feel splashes of what your sure are his tears against your skin. "Baby I'm not leaving," you whisper barely audible.
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Several weeks had past and you continued to avoid Juyeon. Everything was almost perfect at home even though Changbin was clingy. Especially after dropping Jubin to Minho, who was taking charge of the drop off. Changbin would often afterwards go out drinking with Jisung, Seongmin and Jeongin often coming home a whimpering mess.
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"I'm really worried about Binnie," you said plopping on to Christopher’s lap while he was having his time playing the computer. Something he had started doing when Jubin was with Juyeon. "He's ok," he said almost distracted. "He's not and you know it please don't lie to try and reassure me," you said turning to sit facing him. "Look he will be ok, let him adjust to this new pattern of events," he said trying to look around you. "Well he better sort his shit out we can't continue like this when the baby arrives," you said as he chuckled as his hands clicked around on the controls. "Especially as I'm seven days late," you whispered as he blinked froze to the spot, before turning to look at you like he had seen a ghost. "What?" He choked, "your pregnant?" He whispered as you chuckled his way. "I think so," you said as he picked you up in his arms squeezing you hard to his chest. "Oh my god we need to ring him, this will get his ass home, this is what he needs, we need this. Wow, I'm going to be a dad again," he said throwing you into the air in pure excitement. "I’m not confirmed so don't get too excited," you said as he deadpanned your way. "Don't burst this, don't take this from me Y/N let me have my moment before I have to be sensible," he pleads as you chuckle. "Ok Daddy I will behave," you smirk as he looks at you with a wicked expression. "I need to fuck you, we need to celebrate this," he said horny and gone in the news. "You find out you're going to be a dad and you got turned on," you said hitting his chest lightly. "You pregnant is such a turn on, when you were carrying Jubin, well the things it did to me," he said biting his bottom lip. "Well actually I got you a gift I was going to use it next time we had a big special night," you said blushing slightly. "What's that?" He said looking intrigued. "Come with me," you said making him let you drop to your feet, walking to the room him dragging behind connected by your hand.
Reaching your destination you reached under your personal bed. His hands falling to the cheeks of your ass pressed in the air. "Oie cheeky," you said coming back to stand by him, box in hand. "Our bed," you said winking as he put his hand directing you to the door. Pulling him once more you took him to your joint bedroom before placing the box in his hand. Leaning towards the cupboard you smirked at him as he eagly opened his gift. His eyes lighting up in shock your way. "Y/N why have you got this?” he asked still in disbelief. "Well I thought I should attend to your needs, especially now your cum isn't needed to be deposited in me," you smirk completely enthralled with his reaction. "You going to fuck me," he said with his eyes full of sudden desire in them. "Yes, I’ll have you beg for my cock," you said as deep as your voice could go without sounding stupid.
"You always find a way to shock me," he said pulling you into him. His tongue makes it’s way into your mouth. Deep passionate kisses befall as your body's clashes against each other. Hands falling up his hair finding some to grasp in your hands, you pull throwing his head back. Lips fall upon his neck as he hums totally weak within your grasps. You had seen Changbin being very dominating with him so you knew it was what made him weak. But the thought your own actions was doing it also was making your blood pump in a feverish excitement. Pulling on his T-shirt you pulled it off him. Hands softly stroking his chest they found his nipple as they skirted around. Deep hums fill the air before your lips suckle along his flesh, making them vibrate longer. "Fuck Y/N," he cries as your teeth slightly dig into his skin around his sensitive buds. Hands colliding with his slacks that fall deep within to his harden member. Pumping him has him close his eyes to full blown whimpers. "Look at you a whimpering mess at my hands. You wait till I'm fucking this plump ass," you whisper as your other hand falls to his cheeks as you grope him. "Please," he begs lost already in his needy state. "Look at you, you’re a mess and I’ve hardly touched you," you gloat enjoying the power and understanding how Changbin enjoys it. "I need your cock fucking me," he begs as you speed your pace on his member. "Please Y/N," he cries out as your own nub Throbs. "Ok baby on all fours, ass in the air," you demand as he lets his sweats fall to the floor obeying. Finding the lube in Changbin's draw you lube your finger before bringing it to his rim. Pressing it in he hisses as you let it slowly bring a rhythm. "You're being so good baby," you praise before a second finger joins. You let the tip of your digits explore the unfelt before feeling. The sounds Christopher makes has your own slick drip down your thighs. "I think your ready baby, wouldn't you say?” you ask him more for confirmation as he nods. "Words baby I need words," you demand. "Y/N please I'm ready," he confirms as you grin feeling a little sadden that Changbin is not their to witness you fucking both your lover.
Stepping into the strap on you check the fastening before lubing your plastic cock up. Pressing kisses to Christopher’s lower back you place the makeshift cock to his entrance. "You sure you want my cock in you," you say as he growls in impatience. "Y/N I need you to fuck me, stop stalling," he growls as you feel elated at how needy he is. Pressing in you hear him hiss as you slowly rock the tip in. Fucking him inch by inch you bottom out before you press kisses on his back as you still. Hands find the bottom of his spine for leverage as you start your pace. At first it's exciting new and different and the sound of his whimpering needy mess has your body on fire. But it soon lights something in you too, your own needs. Nub throbbing as the friction of the material drives you crazy. You soon realise that if you slam with a harsh thrust the plastic attached to the pants hits your own core. It spurs you into your own desperate need as your pace becomes fast hard and desperate. Noises from your own mouth mix with his and you feel the vibration from him shaking as he closes in on his orgasm. Your hand falls to his cock to help pump him as you fuck into him. "Shit Y/N," he cries as you feel wetness hit your fingers. Your pace still unmerciful on his ass as you chase your own. The feeling hitting right where you need it against your throbbing nub. "Let go," he whimpers underneath you with encouragement. His words spurring you over the edge as you cum into the underwear holding the cock still embedded in his ass. Collapsing over him he stifled his laughter as your cheek rests against his muscular shoulder. "You planning on staying embedded in me?” he says playfully as he twists so you fall to the bed beside him. "You look such a sexy hot wet mess their baby," he says with a orgasm overglow. "My sexy baby mama," he says pressing his lips to yours.
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Sitting on the kitchen counter as Christopher cooks the Doenjang Jjigae he smiles when he hears Changbin and Jubin come in. "Hi baby," you smirk excitedly as he looks between you and Christopher wary. "What are you two up to?” he asks as he rests his keys on the side. "Princess why don't you go and wash up for dinner," Christopher said as she quietly nodded before leaving to go to her room. "What?” Changbin says filled with anxiety. "Ok don't get too excited but we think Y/N may be pregnant," Christopher said as Changbin froze to the spot. "What your," he gasped looking at your belly. "Well I'm a week late, and I'm feeling rather nauseas," you said stroking your stomach. "Well why haven't you tested yet?" He said shakey as he tried to hold on to his excitement. "We were waiting for you so we could do it together," you said stepping from the counter to make your way to him. "So let's eat, put Jubin to bed and let's test," he said pressing his lips roughly to yours in an impatient need to hold you. "One problem, we haven’t got a test," Christopher said breaking your moment. "Then let's eat and while you settle our oldest daughter I will get a test for our baby," Changbin said applying the same affection to his Lover. "I love you both so much," he said as he laced his hands with you both. "Our family will be so complete," he added with an extra squeeze of your hands. "This time no burger dates," Christopher said pointing at you both. "We're not feeding her healthy poison all the time," Changbin said pouting as your sure your own mirrored. "I expect to be included too," he said smirking as you leaned onto his shoulders. "Our date night," you said feeling secure, happy and hopeful the test would confirm your complete family. "You have to be less rough with her," Christopher said pointing at his younger as he shrugged his shoulder. "We all know Jubin arrived because you broke the walls holding her in," he added as you cringed slightly at Christopher’s comment. "I promise to be switch with her till she's due. I’ll use you as my dick puncher instead," Changbin winked as you held your arms tight around Christopher in pure contentment.
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Walking around the baby clothes section looking for a cute baby grow had made you so very broody. Changbin had returned home the night before, depressed that he couldn't find a pregnancy test. You spent the evening consoling him and trying hard but failing to contain your new excitement. He had messaged earlier in the day with excited emoji saying the test was brought. You felt passing a cute baby grow would make it all feel real once it was confirmed. The fact you had been sick this morning practically confirming to you that you had successfully conceived their child. Though Juyeon was fleetingly in your thoughts. Their was a part of you trying to throw down the pain that you had experienced carrying Jubin. Instead you was imagining him doing all that with Lulu. The happiness of his face bringing another child into the world but this time he hadn't been cut out. Jealousy was raging through at the thought, that you swore you was imagining Lulu herself. It took seconds for you to realise Lulu was indeed standing not far from you, Elle in her company as she pushed the pram of her infant. It took seconds for Lulu's eyes to find yours. In the sudden desperate need to get away you started dashing from the door.
"Y/N please don't go," you heard her call from behind you. "Please don't make me chase you not in my condition," she added as you stood frozen to her words. You were scared to turn to look at her seeing her showing her beautiful condition carrying his child. "Y/N, are you really pregnant?" She asked softly as you turned to face her. Instead of the cockiness you were use to seeing, she was softer and more looked like she wanted to be in your company. The silence from you reached her as she smiled warmly. All while Elle’s reaction was her usual frustration. “Look I just wanted to say I think as now we're all having children of our own, I should start the process of us leaving the past behind us," she said looking hopeful. "Because we share Jubin now?" You said looking at her realising the daunting realisation that she was your daughters step mum. "No that's not it, Y/N this bitterness, this jealousy isn't healthy for any of us. Not for you with your baby coming, or mine," she said stroking her stomach with proudness. "We were kids when we acted shamelessly and hurt your feelings," Lulu said hopeful for some sort of response. "Are you asking for forgiveness for yourself or me?" You asked still struggling to hold a little venom in your tone. "Lulu leave it babe, she's not interested. Like Juyeon said she closed herself off and only see’s them," Elle snorts rolling her eyes. "Them?" You said abruptly annoyed with her words. "She didn't mean it like that, we shouldn't be getting involved in Juyeon's war with you," she said shooting daggers at Elle. "Look I don't think we're be friends, Elle clearly agrees with me the past can't be changed. I wish you and Juyeon all the best with the baby, but minus Jubin we don't have anything left to discuss. To be fair you might be my daughter's step mum but me and Juyeon are still her parents," you said with a harsh tone before spinning around to walk off. "What are you on about, theirs no me and Juyeon," she said with confusion in her tone. "Wait you think Juyeon's my babies dad?" She questioned as you turned to her with slight hope for her next words. "I think we should have a nice coffee, cake and a real chat, sounds like theirs a few things that you've become confused about," she said as Elle clicked the roof of her mouth with annoyance. "So Juyeon isn't with you, he isn't the baby's father?" You asked with desperate need for a response. "No Y/N, Changmin is my fiancĂ©e he's the father of my babies," she said softly then you had ever noticed. "Juyeon is madly in love with you, you're the only person in his heart, his life, you have always been his true love. Just he made a mistake, a really big one but that don't stop him loving you," she said stepping closer to you as the words fell around you. Heart beating fast at your confusion. Juyeon wasn't all the things you feared this time, he wasn't being dishonouring. "Let's go for that coffee ok?" She said as you nodded silently chewing over the words. All while trying to understand why you was so happy to hear that news.
Having chatted for almost an hour, you had warmed against Lulu. Even Elle had softened and you had a cuddle with her and Eric's daughter Lily. She was such a tiny little bundle. All Eric's features yet Elle’s pale complexion, she really was the sweetest pure and innocent as her little fingers gripped yours. It wasn't long before Changmin and Eric appeared. "She’s the most beautiful thing ever right?" Eric said with proudness. "She really is, congratulations again," you said as you passed the bundle to her father. Changmin sneaked to the seat next to Lulu as he wrapped his arm around her all doted and in love. You watched feeling content as Eric swaddled his daughter and held her like she was the most precious thing in the world. "You could get love sick from this all, right," a voice said taking you by surprise, it was Lee Juyeon
Jolting in your seat you took Juyeon in, his face looking pleased to see you. Your heart racing like it was deliberately setting your emotions up to fail.
"I think it's cute if I'm honest," said smiling his way which made him even more content. "We need to go, I'm sure Juyeon will keep you company," Lulu said standing up. "Wait you rang him didn't you?" You said noticing their desperate need to dash. "You both need to talk, especially now you know that me and him aren't having babies," Elle teased as Juyeon looked between you both confused. "She thought," , "I know what she thought but I thought Changbin had put this misunderstanding to bed," Juyeon said sounding annoyed. "Changbin? Misunderstanding?" You spluttered tilting your head to his words. "He knew, I told him already that Changmin was Elle's baby daddy," Juyeon said bitterly. "When, When did you tell him?" You questioned desperate to know. "A month ago maybe even five weeks now," Juyeon said crossing his arm as everyone departed. "Wait so your telling me Changbin knew you wasn't Elles babies dad?" You questioned as you felt like the world was spinning. "Yes, we even met up for a coffee while he was butt hurt that Jubin had started calling me Daddy," he said sitting down in Elle’s seat. "No that's not right he would have told me," you said in denial as he rolled his eyes. "Y/N he did, from the sound of it he was only their to basically tell me to back off. He even told me about the baby. Which by the way you're looking so good, bet you can't wait to be showing soon," he added looking up and down your body.
"Wait he told you I was pregnant?” you questioned being confused with each word spilled. "Yes he told me you was pregnant and to practically stay away," he said with his eyes piercing yours. Elle’s words earlier she had known about the baby, Changbin hadn't even known for 24 hours, how did she know so fast? "Elle knew too?" You questioned as he nodded. "Yeah Changbin told Jeongin so basically everyone knew," he said looking worried as your brain unlocked these new words. "Changbin’s been telling everyone I'm pregnant what like yesterday or something?" You said as he looked puzzled your way. "He's been telling everyone for ages, why are you not pregnant?" He said almost hopeful. "I wasn't a month ago, we were only trying for a baby back then," you said as Juyeon looked hurt. "So he didn't tell you you were misunderstanding about Elle so he could get you pregnant and trap you. Classical Changbin, he fears me so much he traps you with a kid of his own," Juyeon snaps annoyed as your hand falls to your stomach.
"Please don't talk about my partner like that," you snap feeling the need to defend him in that moment. "Sorry I apologise, I'm just angry that he didn't put you clear on the situation. Our daughter has missed out because you've been avoiding me," he said taken aback at your tone. "That wasn't Changbin that was me, I regret telling our daughter the truth," you said as Juyeon looked like your words punched holes in him. "You would have lied to her?" He questions as his hand grips the table. "Yes, because this is all messy, we're messy. Changbin was right, we can't see each other. I’m carrying their child," you said standing up watching his eyes water. This couldn't end any other way now. "Y/N, Jubin is our daughter don't do this to me, don't do this to our little girl," he said holding on to you. "Juyeon, I won't take Jubin away from you I promise, but we can't see each other anymore. I’m sorry," you said as your voice cracked. "Why I don't understand?" Juyeon said standing up. "Because it's not safe, I can't be around you," you admitted as his eyes widened. "Wait your avoiding me because you don't trust yourself around me?" He asked as you went silent not sure how to answer that. "Y/N please be honest with me," he said cupping your face as your heart refused to calm. "Y/N, if you wasn't pregnant and you didn't have this Elle misunderstanding, would you have been mine by now?" He asked as you closed your eyes to his words. "I remember the way it felt when you kissed me before Elle had Lily," he said placing his fingers on your lips. "The feeling of your lips set mine almost on fire," he added stepping close to you. Closing your eyes, you felt close to passing out you had to get out there before you did something stupid. "Y/N say something," he said as his Le Labo Another 13, Intoxicated you. "Juyeon I can't do this," you said snapping your eyes open and stepping backwards. "I’m pregnant, this isn't fair," you whispered. "And I'm your eldest daughter’s father, ignoring me isn't fair to me neither," he said stepping closer to you once more. "Their my partners Juyeon, you're just the guy I fucked at College,” You said watching his body slump to your words. "The guy you fucked at college? Is that all I was to you?" He said almost tumbling backwards as he took a step back. "Yes one that i happened to get pregnant from," you added as he almost collapsed into his chair. "I’m sorry Juyeon that how it was, that's how it is. Let's leave this all here, I'm sorry," you said pressing your hand to his shoulder as words failed him. Your heart burned alongside him, hurting him was like shards of glass stabbing you. But you could never risk crossing the blurred line that was tempting you to cross. With that you stood backwards and dashed from the mall cafe leaving Juyeon broken behind.
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Juyeon's words was still ringing through your ear when Changbin and Christopher returned from work. Looking at Changbin colouring with Jubin hurt you. Had he used the misunderstanding to get you pregnant. Juyeon's words of him trapping you weighed heavy. Was he right? Had he really wanted a baby to keep you and Jubin from running to Juyeon. Or had he really wanted a family of his own, a family where it was you three and two children. "You ok?'" Christopher said as Changbin took Jubin to bed after dinner. "Yeah I'm just tired," you said as you continued to dry up the plates. "You just seem really defeated tonight," he said as he locked his arms around your waist and rested his head on your shoulder. "I think it's the hormones," you tried to excuse for your mood. "Well once we do this test you need to sleep," he said kissing your neck. Instead of melting your body tensed. Was he aware too of Changbin’s deceit? Had he kept the secret of Elle’s baby's paternity secret from you too? "What did you do today anyway?" He questioned as you turned to look at him ready to test him. "I went baby shopping, Juyeon and Elle was there," you said as his face softened. "Are you ok? They didn't say anything to upset you did they?" He said stroking your arm. "Not really," you said looking at him trying to work out if he was acting or really had no knowledge. "They were practically talking about hanging with Jeongin so much recently," you said as he looked puzzled your way. "Our Jeongin?" He asked as you nodded. "He’s been telling stuff about us to them," you threw out. "I've not even spoke to Jeongin for a while now, I've been busy working or with you and Jubin. Wait are you accusing me of something?" He said stepping back from you. "No just I don't like them knowing our business," you said as Christopher cupped your face. "Baby, I can promise you I have more important things to do in my life then send a report to your ex partner via my work colleague. But I will speak to him and find his sources so we can nip this in the bud," he said as you smiled his way almost crushing him in the hug. Of course Christopher knew nothing of this, he was the peacemaker, it wasn't his style.
"Are we ready?” Changbin said coming down the stairs waving the stick your way as you forced a slight smile his way. "Really you can put a better smile there hormonal hetty," he teased as you took the test from him. Sitting in the rest room finding the courage to start the test. Your mind was trying to claw what response you wanted. What if it was negative? Now Juyeon wasn't having a baby himself. Their would be nothing holding you back because he was the father of your child. Changbin and Christopher’s loyalty was that enough to hold you back? Walking back into the room with the stick you passed it to Changbin, you felt too sick and conflicted to look at the test. "What does it say?" Christopher said with impatience. Changbin’s silence hit the room, deep down the hope it was negative ran through you. "Binnie?" You whispered as you saw a drop fall from his eyes. It’s ok baby, we can try again," Christopher said before taking the test in his hand. Christopher closed his eyes in pain and opened to find yours, shaking his head you realised you wasn't pregnant. It was like it ignited something in you, all options were back on the table. But beneath that you saw the pain they both was going through. Resting your hand on Changbin shoulder you felt guilty. "I’m sorry I should have done the test before telling you guys I thought I was. I was just so convinced I was pregnant," you said into the silence. "Do you want me to leave you guys for a minute," you said feeling the atmosphere suffocating. "No, we're in this together," Christopher said coming round to hug you. "I’m ok he needs the comfort more," you said as he pulled you towards him. "You wanted this just as much," he said stroking your hair. How had things changed, their was a time when you fought hard to persuade Christopher to have a baby. Guilt was engulfing you having the comfort when you wasn't as heart broken as you thought you would be. "I need fresh air," you said pushing your self out of Christopher’s hold. "He's right we need to stick together as a family," Changbin said snapping his head to look your way with the pain breaking him on his face. "Binnie I'm so sorry," you said as he closed his eyes. "Don't say sorry like you did something wrong," he said in despair. "Look it's not like we lost a baby, their was just no baby their to start with, we should look at that fact," you said as Changbin scrunched his face in your direction. "It was a real baby to me, I made plans for that baby," he snapped making you step back. "Binnie," Christopher said tapping him on his shoulder. "I’m sorry Y/N, just I don't know, I'm just sorry," he said not even looking at you. "We had even told friends, and now," he said slamming his hands on the unit. "Like Jeongin," you whispered as Christopher snapped his attention towards you.
"You told him I was already pregnant didn't you?" You said feeling guilty at broading the subject so soon. "When did you see Jeongin?" Changbin said as his eyes widened your way. "She saw him earlier," Christopher lied for you as he looked almost angry his way. "You saw Jeongin today?" He said looking at you with something beneath his eyes that was more then sadness. "I already told you that but it's ok we're just have to tell him false alarm," Christopher said rubbing his hand along his collar bone. "Funny that, he's on holiday with Seongmin in Jeju island," he said looking at you. "Look does it matter who does and doesn't not know, look I got it wrong myself she didn't tell me he told her today," Christopher said panicking.
"Juyeon told me," you blurted out as his eyes widened. "You were with Juyeon?" He accused as you jumped from his tone. "Binnie calm down," Christopher said almost shaking him a little. "He was with Elle, baby clothes shopping that's all," you said as he pursed his lips. You could see his anger was conflicted. "What else are you keeping from me Y/N," he barked as Christopher slammed his own fist to the counter. "Look don't take your anger out on Y/N, their is no baby we need to come to terms with that. Y/N had to encounter her ex which was obviously going to happen we live in the same city. So I think we need to stop the wrong emotions escaping," He lectured. "It's not like we can't try again," he added more softer. "Right your right, I’ll get one of those ovulation tests, we can work it out right. Because if it's tonight we can try tonight," Changbin said with desperation. Juyeon was right he wanted to trap you to keep you. "Slow down, this is whiplash," you admitted as Changbin shook his head almost enraged with your words. "We said we wanted a baby have you changed your mind now you've seen Juyeon?" He accused as he groaned into the air. "Ask me this one question Changbin," you said feeling slightly brave to tackle him. "Go ahead," he replied almost softer. "Do you want a baby with me, or a baby to trap me because your scared of Juyeon," you asked. It wasn't the first time this questioned had been raised but never the term trapped. "Having our baby is trapping you?" He quizzed. "It is if you're doing this for the wrong reason," you added as he mockely chuckled. "One meeting with Juyeon and your throwing Christopher’s words. Funny that as your words convinced him this wasn't trapping. So why that word now? What else did he say?" Changbin accused you.
"I think we both know what he said," you admitted as Christopher’s head snapped to yours as Changbin went silent. "What did he say?" Christopher asked. "That he isn't Lulu's babies dad, Ji Changmin is, and it gets worse, he said you knew that five weeks ago. When you met him to tell him to back away from me because I was already pregnant," you accused as Changbin looked like he was silently holding his rage in.
“Binnie is she telling the truth?" "I didn't tell him she was pregnant I said she was hopefully pregnant I just never recorrected him when he misheard. But suppose the word Y/N pregnant in the same sentence would have got him all confused with feral bitterness. And for the record I never told him to stay away, again his mistruth words. But seems like he has you hanging on to his every word of his story," Changbin said with bitterness in his tone. "I didn't believe him, I actually told him to stay away from us," you said folding your arms his way. "You could have fool me," he spat out sarcastically as Christopher looked equally mad with him. "So you knew he wasn't the father yet you failed to tell us?" Christopher said arms folded his way. "What’s it to do with us?" Changbin shouted out. "He's Jubin's dad," you said in annoyance. "We're all Jubin’s dad if it's not his business about our life then his business isn't ours," he said looking angry that Christopher was attacking him. "Jubin is all of our business, you knew that news was up settling for Y/N so why didn't you put her straight," he said as Changbin laughed looking anywhere but him. "And why was she upset?" He accused looking your way. "What are you trying to say?" You said almost taking back with this direction of this conversation. "Do you think she would have agreed to having a baby with us if Juyeon hadn't got Elle pregnant," he spat out.
"So you admit it you trapped her?" Christopher accused as you almost felt ready to faint from his words. "It's only trapped if she truly didn't want us,” He stated as his eyes took yours. "This is too much for me I can't do this I'm out," you spat out not wanting to continue the inquisition Changbin was suddenly spilling. "Run off to him, tell him the good news that theirs no baby," Changbin mocked as you turned to him. "I don't want to be around any of you," you shouted out as you stormed from the house.
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Kevin's phone was turned off and Hakyeons left ringing. You really needed them right now as you couldn't go back to the house. Ringing Hyunjae he sounded drunk and wasn't making much sense. Ringing a number you hadn't in ages you rang Younghoon. He was just on his way out with Hwall and Chanhee to the club. When he offered you to join them, you jumped at that invitation. It had been years since you had been out with them. All night they had tried to quiz you but you gave them nothing but sinking shots after shots. Taking them on the dance floor and letting the night take your worries away. But when you almost fell into someone’s arms you never imagined the disgust on their face seeing you would be Sunwoo.
"Oh for fuck Sake it's you," he said rolling his eyes as Hwall threw his arms around you. "Mate eyes off she's ours," he said warning Sunwoo off. "I don't know why I'm not surprised three men after you and theirs still more," he said looking around to see Chanhee and Younghoon who had joined you. "Sunwoo, Juyeon's scummy mate who fucked me over at every opportunity. These are mine and Kevin's mates," you added knowing your words was slurring slightly. "Well Juyeon's scummy mate do one," Chanhee said with his eyes fierce at Sunwoo who almost died of laughter. "Does Changbin and Christopher know your out her plastered?" He quizzed with a raised eye. "No, and I don't care," you said falling into his hold again as he went to catch you. "Ahh you hate me but you caught me," you giggled as Sunwoo rolled his eyes as he stood you on your feet. "I don't hate you, I can't stand you," he said widening his eyes. "Your drunk you should go home or get one of these to take you," he said as Hwall came to hold you away from him. "Take her home mate," he added as Hwall laughed. "Go get fucked we're getting wasted tonight," he spat out as Sunwoo rolled his eyes. Hwall dragged you back to your table as they continued to help you get drunk and forget all your problems.
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Juyeon’s POV
You were wrapped in a blanket letting tears still fall from Y/N’s words earlier. Lulu had tried to convince you that her words was lies to stop herself doing something stupid. But the way the words felt when she stung them your way, crippled you that you feared any hope of them being wrong. Maybe she was right, even though you wanted to hurt Changbin in every way. You loved Y/N enough to let her have her dreams and right now having a baby with them was her life. Minus the father of Jubin you had no place in her life. You wondered in time would you ever be comfortable to be around each other even if it was just for your daughter's sake. You was just about to settle to sleep when the phone rang. "What's up I'm just off to bed?” you asked hearing the loud noise of music in the background. You could barely hear his words but Y/N’s name mentioned had you intrigued. "Sunwoo mate text me I can hardly hear you," you said as the phone hanged off.
Y/N's here and she's very drunk. Her mates are not discouraging her.
You sure she's pregnant?
She had told you herself she was pregnant why was she drinking herself into the oblivion. Their was no way she would risk harming her baby, something had obviously happened.
"I’m on my way ping me the club you're at," you replied.
The journey there felt like it was taking forever. What had happened for Y/N to become such a state. Had she lost her baby since you met this afternoon? You hoped your words was the reason for her pain. Maybe you should have kept that Changbin knew from her to save her anguish. Your fear was founded finding her top half sloped over the table. "Another one baby," the guy next to her said placing her another shot. Before she could take it you took it as she groaned. "Sunwoo for fuck sake do one," she groaned as Sunwoo made his way to you. "I will make sure to pass the message on to him," you said as her head shot up to look at you. "Juyeon," she whispered in pain. "The one and only," you added as Sunwoo’s hand fell to your shoulder. "Get her home mate," he said as she chuckled. "I have no home," she chuckled throwing her head to the table winching when it impacts. "Y/N for fuck sake come on come back to mine," you said trying to lift her head back up. "Mate leave her alone we know who you are," her friend spat out as you rolled your eyes. "Yeah sure you do, but I couldn't care less. She's pregnant and drunk and you're enabling her," you spat out. "Wait she's what," the other one choked out. "Y/N what the fuck, what are you doing?" They spat out with equal concern. "It's ok their is no baby now," she said before looking up to you as your heart hurt. "Aren't you happy now?" She slurred broken as you looked at Sunwoo before her again. "Baby I'm not happy when your hurting," you said throwing the loose hairs behind her ears. "Let's get you somewhere safer then here, this isn't where you should be," you said as the taller of the three stood by your side. "It's ok we're take her back home," he said as you almost passed out on his volume of alcohol off his breath. "Mate you can't even walk let alone drive her," you said before going on your knee to Y/N’s level. "Do you want me to ring Changbin and Christopher. Im sure they will want to be with you to support you right now," you said brushing your hands through her hair as she closed her eyes. "You were right Juyeon," she said barely audible. Just that one sentence made you aware she wasn't here because she lost her child, she was here because she had lost herself too. "Come on come home to mine, I promise you I won't do anything but make sure you sleep," you said as she nodded on the table. "I will look after her I promise," you said to her friends as they nodded silently as you dragged her out. Her body so fragile under your hold.
Driving her and Sunwoo back to yours to help her get up the stairs you both placed her into your bed. You stood there silently watching her sleep. "So she lost the baby then?" Sunwoo asked as you nodded. "Yeah it seems so, but I think something else happened," you said as she fidgeted. "Like what?" He asked as you went over the words from earlier. "I think she found out Changbin had played her as a surrogate," you said feeling the pain she must feel now she knew he had trapped her. "What does this mean for you?" Sunwoo asked as you smiled her way. "It would be good to think maybe I could get a step closer to the family I lost. But I don't want them at this cost, not at the cost of her child," you said feeling sadness on her behalf. "So when she's sobered up I will take her to theirs and try fix this up," you said as Sunwoo placed his hand on your shoulder. "Stop holding on to the fear that you be accused of being a player. You don't have to be so serious now you just need a healthy balance," Sunwoo said as you chuckled. "Using a miscarriage to snare my ex girlfriend isn't the answer Sunwoo," you said as he rolled his eyes. "Not now later on, Because it looks like the beginning of her downfall with them," Sunwoo said turning his back to Y/N to face you. "How long will she crash and burns from that relationship till you admit your worthy of her," he said before walking out the room to go home.
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You barely slept on the sofa worrying about her and how to support her with her loss. Noticing it was 8am you made your way to make her a coffee and some egg rolls. Walking into the room you placed it next to her. Like the smell woke her eyes strained as it took you in. "Why am I here?" She said sitting up looking confused. "We didn't?" She asked as you laughed her way. "Having sex with women who’s too drunk to consent isn't my thing," you said sitting on the bed. "You were drunk Sunwoo found you called me. You refused to go home so I brought you here," you said passing her some paracetamol. "I'm sorry about the baby," you added as she threw her head back to swallow her medicine. "I wasn't even pregnant," she admitted as you tilted your head baffled with her words.
"We were trying, i mistakingly thought I was, turns out I wasn't," she admitted as your heart lifted slightly from the prospect of the pain she didn't have had to endure. "I'm still sorry it didn't work out this time," you said passing her the coffee. "Their won't be another time," she admitted before taking a sip and tsssking from the temperture. "Because he admitted he wanted you pregnant to trap you?" You asked. "That's what you said last night," you added before she could try and deny as she breathed in deeply showing the pain. "I shouldn't have said that it's unfair of him," she said passing you the coffee back clearly too hot for her. "But you did so you can't take it back," you said as you passed her the egg roll. "If I go home he will expect us to try again," she admitted as your heart felt a little hopeful. "You don't want that?" You asked as she shook her head. "Can I ask why? You clearly wanted to try in the first place," you asked as she closed her eyes contemplating whenever to continue. "Let's say things have slightly changed," she winced as you felt a little brave to keep pushing. "Because then your ex boyfriend was having a baby with his mistress, and now you know their not," you said watching her face get torn with how to respond. "I don't know?" She replied like she didn't want to say those words. "Y/N if their was no Changbin and Christopher would you want me?" You asked as her eyes closed. "But they do exist," she groaned passing her plate to you with the food untouched. "Humour me Y/N," you pleaded wanting to know how she truly felt.
"Yes, but they do exist so nothing changes. I have to go back to them," she added as you inwardly felt like shaking her. It was clear she was with them due to loyalty because they had been their for Jubin. Though you was happy she had their support. It was only needed because she feared you wouldn't want this life with her. "Your going to go back to people your not in love with," you quieted as she looked slightly annoyed. "I do love them though," she proclaimed as you deadpanned her. "I know you know the different with love and in love. Y/N I know your in love with me," you said hopeful. "Juyeon, we can't ever be together, it's not fair on them," she said as her hands reached to yours. "What's not fair to them is lying to them making them believe your crazy about them when you're not," you said as she chewed on her bottom lip. "Me and you both know deep down it's Jubin they want not you. Do you think I would be cruel to take Jubin away from them. What if their was a way they could have her too and allow you to catch your dreams," you said lacing your fingers with hers. "And you're my dream are you?" She said cockily. "I know I am, I know you dream of the family life we can have together," you said with confidence brimming through you. You knew you should feel guilt towards the guys who had been your daughter saviour. But Changbin’s actions and Sunwoo’s words was heavily on your mind. "Our daughter wants everyone to be happy and right now two people aren't and two people are living a lie," you said cupping her face. "I don't know if I can destroy the family for it to be fixed," she whispers almost conflicted. You feel the electricity between you turn up a notch. She's not convincing herself, she's trying to convince she can be loyal. "Sometimes we have to do scary things, but we both know it will be worth it when things are how it should be," you said brushing your thumb along her bottom lip. "I know your scared of the past, but surely I've shown you that things are different now. We're not kids no more," you added as you felt herself digest your words. "I've only ever loved you, since you fell into my arms. The world was black when you ran away," you whispered as she looked lost in your eyes.
You knew you shouldn't but taking sunwoo's words you pressed your lips to hers. You had expected her to stop or freeze against you. But instead she welcomed you as her mouth didn't waste a second working alongside your own. Tongues sliding against each other, you felt her desperation when her hands fell to the hem of your vest. Things was moving very fast, your dreams of reunited with her was at the clasp. You moved carefully scared to slip up this special moment. Not wanting her to realise her relationship with them was in danger of falling apart.
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jasper-unofficial · 2 years ago
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What are your thoughts about the fandom believing that Ray doesn’t “deserve” Sand and that Ray thinks of Sand as someone he can purchase and then own. I don’t quite agree with that interpretation of things and would love to hear your thoughts.
listen, i could sit here all day talking about how most of sandray problems occured due to communication issues on both sides and the unique insecurities both sand and ray have all day. i could also talk about how sand is not the saint uwu baby that some people seem to think he is and - as someone whose favourite ofts character is sand - his woobification is truly the bane of my existence. however, i will not be talking about any of that in detail, because it kind of doesn't make sense to mention while answering your particular ask, considering the fact that i simply fundamentally do not believe that love is something you deserve.
there is no special formula that makes someone deserving of being loved by another person, nor is there any comparison list on just how many times each person can fuck up before one of them stops deserving the love of the other. that's just bullshit. two things are true: 1) sand loves ray and 2) that love is in no way intrinsically damaging or bad for sand (yes, there have been times when he was hurt, but that was, for example, due to lack of communication in episode 5 or ray jumping to conclusions in episode 10, which he apologised for - esentially, none of it is an inherent feature of their relationship).
see, i don't know whether it's people projecting their personal issues on the characters or - much worse - thinking ray being "difficult" (read: in most cases, just mentally ill and an addict) makes him fully unlovable or undeserving of love, but that's not the case not just in general, but specifically with sand. the simple truth of the matter is: sand does NOT find loving ray or being with ray or the person ray is difficult.
from the very beginning, even before sand falls in love, he is annoyed by ray but he also takes care of him - not just because sand is a helpful person and that's what he's used to doing but also because he does not find it burdensome. like, if someone would find it difficult to be in a relationship with a suicidal alcoholic - alright, they're not alone, they can go hang out with mew and chueam, who are in the exact same boat. and if someone would find it hard to be in a relationship with someone who is extremely emotional and "blows up" a lot - ok, then don't be friends with or date people like that. but sand just does not find it hard.
and that's kind of the whole point. there are always people in the world who will love someone with ALL their issues and flaws and idiosyncrasies and complexities. there are genuinely people who are going to be in a fight with someone who is deeply emotional and also deeply intoxicated and not internalise what they are saying. not because they don't care about themselves and are with someone undeserving of them or whatever, but because they understand that the person doesn't mean what they are saying in that moment and they can deal with it. if every time i was rude to someone because i was overstimulated (due to being autistic) that someone dropped me and called me undeserving of their love, i'd have no fucking friends, which is thankfully not the case.
when mew told ray "no one can put up with everything you do" he was wrong. plain and simple. just wrong. sand can. in fact, it's not even that he can "put up" with it - it's more like he can live with it just fine. let sand love the man he loves, seeing as he is very much not struggling with any part of their relationship or his partner's personality, especially after they resolved the issues they had (which is fine, by the way? just because someone is having issues in a relationship doesn't mean they gotta jump ship - if they want to and can deal with them, that's a good thing, actually).
as for the purchase part of your ask, i do always find it quite peculiar how simple people can make things. "rich + poor = automatic objectification" wow thanks for the analysis, boss! profound! like, i truly wish i knew where this could be coming from. i am also a dangerous romance watcher and if someone asked me about this in regards to kang and sailom, i would dive head-first and deep into those waters, because that's actually something that's relevant there. but with sand and ray... truly, i'm baffled by the suggestion.
the whole point of it to ray is that the relationship is genuine. that's deeply important to him, in fact - that is why he reacted the way he did about his father giving sand money. how in the world do you combine "(angrily and in disbelief) so this was all about money to you?" and "i literally bought you, i hope you remember that"?
idk, is this about ray buying sand gifts? 'cause gift giving is just an expression of love and ray just happens to be loaded so yeah, it's guitars and coachella trips or whatever - the guy lives in a mansion, i think it'd be weirder if he went "well, just to be sure i am not buying you, here is a pebble i found on the street for your birthday". is it about him being jealous or perhaps even possessive in the penultimate episode and likely the finale? 'cause that's just an emotion lots of people feel and while you could argue about 'ownership' in terms of the wider optics of how lots of monogamous relationships work, regardless of the financial situation of the partners, this is definitely just a fairly standard situation where two people are in an 'exclusive' relationship and suddenly a clear third party steps in.
ray has never expressed any disdain or even weirdness towards his poor friends in terms of their socioeconomic status, he has only brought up the wine selling issue when he fully blew up because he clearly understood that it was a source of income for sand, his initial suggestion to pay sand to hang out was in response to sand working at that time and literally needing the money he was meant to be earning that day to survive. like, where are we? how did we get here?
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valentineveils · 9 months ago
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oct 13th - introduce your hawke
lets pretend ive done all the other 12 days okay ? ok ^_^
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nikolas "nikky" hawke is my main worldstate hawke . he is a warrior , specifically reaver , and he's a majority diplomatic personality , but was known to be more angry during act 3 . he's trans masc , and he romances fenris . he's 6'6 ft tall , and has a very nice and kind smile . he tries to choose kindness , but it becomes hard for him .
he's forever the eldest daughter archetype ; he helped raise his siblings , taking care of them and helping leandra especially after malcolms death . he struggles a lot with insecurities of never being or feeling good enough , of feeling like he's failed , of feeling like what he does is never Enough for anyone . he deals with rsd and is very stressed most of the time .
hes friend with most of the companions ; his closest two friends , aside from fenris , are merrill and isabela . he and aveline are not friends , nikky very much dislikes her , and his disdain towards her increases after leandra's death , which he places some of the blame onto her . they never see eye to eye , and a lot of the time their conversations are short lived and short fused . his relationship with anders is strained after the chantry explosion , they both struggle to keep in contact with one another . he and sebastian cut contact , as nikky wouldn't kill anders despite his actions and sebastian's pleading . if they met each other again , a fight would definitely occur . fenris and him are romantically entangled . nikolas adores fenris , he loves his personality and his dead pan jokes . he loves him in general . they're a battle couple , one covering the other's back . nikolas has trouble leaving fenris's side , he likes being on his arm . they three years between the act 2 and 3 romance was a bit awkward and strained , both still dancing around their feelings [nikky has an increasingly bad habit of shoving down his feelings] . truthfully i just think their relationship is mostly the exact same as it is in game , its hard for me to accurately describe . fenris did have quite a few things to say when they reunite after here lies in the abyss , while nikky is just shocked that fenris now has an undercut . which nikky quite likes .
the relationship between him and leandra is strained , pulling at the chords of friendly and twisting it into something less . he still loves his mother , but she's put a lot on his shoulders even if she didnt mean to . he mourns her death ; he still feels , years later , that he could have done something to prevent it . he misses carver . he wishes he could have their bickering back even if his memory of carver is slowly fading , and becoming more of wishing instead of memory . bethany and him are still close , even if he accidentally sent her to the circle by not bringing her with him to the deep roads . its not a connection that it once was , theres some grudges still being held , maybe from both of them . he keeps in contact with her frequently , meeting up in person after here lies the abyss . he forever loves his baby sister , she's the only family he has left .
he's more jaded during inquisition and after ; he's not ready to let new people in , he's tired of being titled "champion of kirkwall" , in general , he's just tired . he doesn't get left behind in the fade [alistair does] , and it leaves him reeling . he built himself up to be left behind , due to him feeling like he's damned the world as he released corypheus ; now , afterwards , he doesnt know what to do with himself . he mostly travels with bethany , fenris , and his and fenris's adopted child , sylvan . he's back into being a protector role , especially to the mages [sylvan doesn't have good control over their magic , and it makes nikky worried that he'll lose his child like he lost bethany to the circle once before]
the champion of kirkwall carries many scars , most notable one being a scar through his stomach that the arishok had gifted him during their duel . it still pains him to this day . other notable ones being two holes in his ear , one where a toddler bethany had yanked out his piercing , the other from him being hit by a templar's arrow . the scars across his nose are from a wolf , the one from his jaw from a bar fight with a glass bottle , and he has quite a few more littered all across his body .
he is my little [big] meow meow and i love him so dearly .
31 days of dragon age prompts nikky's tag
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arsenalgbt · 10 months ago
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pls share ur jealous!kai hc. is he ok with sharing dec? does he get possessive and what does that look like?
yoooooooo I did get a similar question a couple of months back, here's the link:
think I have a fresher perspective now??? but because I don't understand the psyche of 'being possessive in a relationship'---because imo jealousy stems from lack of confidence AND neither is an insecure person, have a fic plot instead LMAO
in an established relationship scenario, they're super chill actually. not joined to the hip ya feel me; if you can be my +1, ok perfect, but if you've already engaged someplace else, that's also fine
in my HC, both are pretty level-headed. they like what they have been building for the last 7 months or so (still new!)
the funny thing is, whenever they're on a date night/drinking on Thursdays, Declan always gets hit on by every pretty lil thing (women of all age + twinks) and kai just doesn't get it?
like he's right over there. it's a table for two. they sit/stand close by the bar. Declan is constantly leaning into him to laugh or just to put a hand on his lower back. HIS LOWER BACK, people.
the problem is, kai is not big on PDA lol
Declan NEVER indulges btw. say, a lady blatantly stumbles so she can fall into his arms; he would help her, ask if she's alright? are you sure? and when the lady drops the line, he would decline politely, ah, I'm here with my boyfriend. and if the lady is very progressive, she'd proposition them both because hey, kai is tall and hot, too.
they'd laugh about it. maybe kai starts to keep a tally in his notes app. with lil details like: 'pixie cut, goth, method of flirting' or 'artsy twink, smells good, method of flirting' LMAO
he tells his best friends about it ofc. Martin says, "you guys have massive just bro energy" - Leo chimes in, "dec wasn't always like this, remember? I think he's been toning down his hearteyes for you ever since you asked Martin 'how could you live with how Rambo is looking at you? he looks like you hung the moon'. when we went to a foals concert." and Martin laughs and kai wants to cry lol
so it's his fault
so after the revelation, kai gets super clingy in public lmaooooooo. he kisses the corner of Declan's lips when he arrives to the pub/bar/restaurant. he lets Declan crowd him against the wall/the bar, one arm caging his waist, eyes heavy and always zeroing in on his wet mouth. he lets Declan put his warm hand HIGH on his thigh. if they're taking the tube he wraps his arms around Declan and leans into him (yes, Declan gets flirted with even in the tube!!!)
Declan still gets approached, but it's becoming less and less LOL and Declan whispers I know what you're doing, baby, and kai just bats his eyelashes at him innocently
IF YOU EVER WRITE IT, gift it to me on ao3 or @ me teeheeeeeeeeee
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agentstarkid · 5 months ago
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“I miss you tan skin your sweet smile so good to me so right”
Girlie needs to sing this to Daniel eventually when they get back together. Imagine the tears they’ll both have! I want more of them together but I also want more angst. Personally, I don’t think he’s suffered enough.
Ok maybe im being mean. I just feel like him bringing up her being younger and naive would fuck with her a lot. Like it’s not gonna be easy for her to over look that when they try to get back together.
it took me a whie to get back to you, nonnie, because I've been overthinking about this a lot!! oki, nonnie, not giving too much away BUT OKAY HEAR ME OUT
SO, y'know, Girlie is going on tour, right? and it's a world tour, that means this thing is gonna be LONG, we are talking months, even years probs (the era's tour and love on tour lasted around 2 years). and you're thinking: May, why the frickity fruckity fruck are you saying this? Well, nonnie, they have to get back together at some point, right? (or maybe they don't? 😏😝 jk jk hehe) SOOOO, what if during a concert she sings that part of the song as a mash-up cover, you know like Taylor did—and how Ed Sheeran used to/does sometimes with his songs when he sings live—and Daniel is in the crowd!!
Now, the question is, what other song does she sings with it? Hmmm, maybe This Love?? "Back to This Love"?? I'M SCREAMING!!
Your kiss, my cheek I watched you leave Your smile, my ghost I fell to my knees When you're young, you just run But you come back to what you need # I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile So good to me, so right And how you held me in your arms that September night The first time you ever saw me cry Maybe this is wishful thinkin' Probably mindless dreamin' But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right. # — (Maybe here she gives/plays an intro of some kind? or she gives a little speech to hook the next verse?) This love is good This love is bad This love is alive back from the dead, oh, oh, oh These hands had to let it go free, and This love came back to me, oh, oh, oh This love left a permanent mark
what do we think??? now, would This Love be her own song and she's giving her fans like a little tease? or both are T-Swift's songs and she just covers them? (BTD is just too iconic to not be Taylor's tbh)
ps.: *`proceeds to give her whole thought process even though she said she wouldn't* lmaoo đŸ€ŠđŸœâ€â™€ïžđŸ˜†
—
Ok maybe im being mean. I just feel like him bringing up her being younger and naive would fuck with her a lot. Like it’s not gonna be easy for her to over look that when they try to get back together.
it definitely did fuck with her a lot! that was one of her biggest insecurities and he used it as a weapon (tsk tsk Danielito smh), BUT I also see it as that one being one of his biggest, too. Let's not forget that my man was also facing backlash on that front—even though men are less scrutinized and shamed about dating a younger woman, they are actually celebrated for it. But haters took that and used it as a reason to bring him lower.
When you love someone wildly, insanely, infinitely you want to be more than enough for them, you want to be the best damn thing this world has to offer, and overall, you want them to be happy. So, my sweet baby Daniel, with all the shit he was hearing already + seeing the rumours of her being with other dudes (and they're always younger AND btw he knew were all fake) ((edit: well, maybe not Paul Klein cuz I just remembered that he's actually older than Dan 😅)) he surely was subconciously thinking that he didn't deserve her and all the pent-up anger and frustration boiled over and splashed across her face because she was the one standing closer to him.
I do think he unconsciously projected his own insecurities onto her during the fight—with that I'm not excusing him from the shit he said and how he poorly handled his emotions and hers.
But neither did her.
Girlie felt under attack and her mind went into survival mode and she added more fuel to the fire. But we know she also did some maturing during their time a part. She also worked on herself and is doing better—I like the idea of "two wrongs can make a right". He fucked up way worse than her, that's true, but second chances are not given to make things right, they're given to prove that we could be better even after we fall (unless, you cheated. if that's the case it's game fucking over). Nonnie, my man is working hard on being better, so maybe đŸ‘‰đŸœđŸ‘ˆđŸœ could you give him the benefit of the doubt? đŸ‘‰đŸœđŸ‘ˆđŸœ
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happypotato48 · 1 year ago
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Wandee Goodday EP 6 Unhinged Tangent Thoughts
first thing first i would like to issue formal apology to all the Ter haters out there. i can't fix this man i think nobody can, even hephaestus himself would probably give up on this mess. i'm so sorry for in my hubris and horniness i've let Pod pretty face blinded me to the truth (not really i hate him from day one but still 100% would let this man ruin my life cause i'm trash like that baby!)
also also this week random music that popped up in my head during my watch is this.
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Something something they're already married even though they're not actually dating.
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Hehehe i did this all the time, messy bitch represent!
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one of the words here also can means "hard" wink wink.
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What are they talking about, sorry i got distracted by Yak's big Bahoogas!
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So, I already ripped my first elephant pants yesterday after only wore it two times. haha, curse me and my fatbutt. definitely going to buy more tho that thing is super comfy in thailand weather.
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"Only let good dicks in"
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I'm seeing potential here. WHAT! it's not like they're actually related irl >.>
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Damn Dee you even put on his pants.
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Why are you like this! bitch you wears his pants right now. you're down so bad you already in whatever country that is on the other side of the world from thailand.
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I thought he was going to point downward when i first watched this. hehehe.
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Fuck this dude. and yes i mean both ways. look look if i was pining for this ahole for 8 years at least i need to get 1 good fuck out of it, after that we can stop talking to each other.
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"Sure Jan"
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I love this show so much also best "product placement" ever.
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These nerds i can't even with them.
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Eyebrows nooo!
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"Prepare for trouble and make it double!"
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Dee, you're like an open book and not even a good one.
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Ok ok, so i think this take place in yaowarat which is i think where Cher is from so maybe there is more to this then just loan sharks. and the sequel/prequel book that i haven't read yet, Wansook Wittaya is a story of how Yei and Cher got together. so maybe they're pulling some stuff from that book. idk, just random thought.
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With this scene now i'm on the mind set that Cher wasn't really thinking that Yei has someone else in the other ep. he just insecure that after being together for so long their relationship is going stale. that's my read at least cause he wasn't seemed very jealous in that ep.
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Ahhhhhhhhh they're so cute. i'm so happy we finally got more cute stuff with this two in one ep.
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Meh it still a hellhole full of rich Aholes, but yeah when the moments are right that place can feels magical sometime.
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I love this corny ass man so much.
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it looks like love, Dee, it looks like love.
I'm swooned. floored and full. this ep gave me so many tender moments. and god i loved these two dumb nerds so much. even though they're definitely realized their true feelling, they're still being very loveablely dumb about it. Dee being in denied and Yak continuing to sends his signals all over the place. but finally look like that will come to an end in the next ep and i'm for one ready for it.
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madtomedgar · 5 years ago
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@venndaai asked for suxiyao for the drabbles, which are not drabbles but longer fics. this is pre relationship and an au where meng shi lives and meng yao is using his nie salary to keep her in a house in qinghe and pay for her medicine.
“Meng Gongzi,” Meng Yao startled at Lan Zongzhu’s warm and gentle voice behind him. How had he not heard someone entering the library pavillion? “I thought you said you were leaving.”
Meng Yao replaced the book he’d been scouring through as carefully and quickly as he could and turned, bowing deeply, wondering if perhaps it would be more appropriate for him to make his apology on his knees. “Please forgive this one’s error, Lan zongzhu. It was very wrong of me to trespass--”
That firm, warm grip on his forearms cut him off again as Lan zongzhu raised him out of his bow until their eyes met. Meng Yao did his best to avert his gaze, as was only appropriate, but Lan zongzhu’s kind eyes followed his until he gave up. “Meng gongzi, this one is happy to have your company for a while longer. You are most welcome to look through our texts. Was there something in particular you were hoping to find?” Words failed Meng Yao as shame and embarrassment crawled around in his throat. He knew what should happen to a servant from another sect caught snooping around the esteemed and sacred texts. He knew what his own sect leader would do. He knew he shouldn’t have risked his position like this, just for... “This is a medical text, written by my great-great grandfather,” said Lan zongzhu, who had picked up the book Meng Yao had been caught with. “Is Meng gongzi interested in studying medicine?”
Why was he dragging this out? Why couldn’t he just reprimand Meng Yao and send him packing with a letter to Nie zongzhu detailing his reprehensible conduct, so he could slink home and take his punishment? Did he find it amusing, as the Nie cultivators did, to torment him? But everything about Lan zongzhu that he’d seen so far pointed in the opposite direction. He was foolish, foolish to trust in any of it, but “Forgive this one his trespass, but he has heard much of the skill and prowess of the healers of the Lan clan of Gusu. He was hoping to find a treatment for wasting illness, and did not wish to trouble Lan zongzhu or any of his cultivators with this one’s insignificant problems.”
Lan zongzhu looked at him with what appeared to be genuine concern and reached for his wrist. “Are you ill, Meng gongzi?”
“No, no, not me,” Meng Yao stammered, pulling his hand away and clasping it in front of him. “My mother.” 
He shouldn’t have dirtied such a pristine place with even the mention of her, but before he could say anything else, Lan zongzhu stepped in again, smiling. “She is fortunate to have such a filial son. Can you tell me the nature of her illness?”
Meng Yao wanted to gape, but he was far, far better than that, and so he didn’t. “This one thanks Lan zongzhu for his attention to such insignificant matters. Her lungs have been failing her for some time. She has medicine, but it doesn’t seem to do much. I had hoped to find some... cure or treatment that the common doctors in Qinghe don’t know of.”
Lan zongzhu considered for a moment. “A wasting of the lungs... and your mother is not a cultivator?” Meng Yao nodded, bemused. Surely Lan zongzhu knew. Everyone knew. They’d gossiped about her this morning in his very presence! “Do not give credence to rumor” was one of the Lan rules, but surely nobody followed it that closely. “It would be best if someone trained in our techniques could examine her. Training you would take time, and I wouldn’t want to keep you from your duties. I’ll send one of our disciples back with you.”
Meng Yao was overcome, and bowed again, only to be caught again. He couldn’t afford to dwell on what being touched so gently like that, by the First Jade of Gusu Lan, sparked inside him. This wasn’t one of his young master’s dirty books. Those sorts of things never happened in life and, if they did, they never ended well. “This one thanks you, but could not possibly afford it.” Whatever the Lan sect charged for healing commoners, it had to be expensive. And add to that that this commoner was a prostitute and all the way in Qinghe...
There was a gentle tug at his arms, indicating that he should look at this man who insisted they were peers beyond all reason. He did. He wished he hadn’t. Lan zongzhu was smiling, radiant, like sunlight on a stream. “Meng gongzi, it would please me for you to consider this a favor from a friend. Or, at the very least, consider that Nie zongzhu is and I are old friends, and it is my pleasure to help his valued right hand as I am able.” Now, Meng Yao did gape. “Besides,” said Lan zongzhu, and Meng Yao must be hallucinating the conspiratorial air that snuck over him, “I think some time in the company of such a well spoken and poised person will do the particular disciple I’m thinking of much good.”
Well. Far be it from Meng Yao to tell Lan zongzhu how to dispose of his disciples. 
--
Su Minshan, the disciple Lan zongzhu sent to accompany Meng Yao back to Qinghe, did not inspire confidence. Of course, Meng Yao hadn’t expected the Lan sect to send their best and brightest to heal an aging prostitute in another sect’s territory, but still. This man isn’t much older than he is, and so far on their journey he’s been moody, anxious, and sullen. It is clear he thinks this errand beneath him. The fact that he’s right about that just galls Meng Yao more. 
“All that work and they still treat me like a messenger boy,” Su Minshan mutters out the window of the carriage they share. He, of course, would have preferred to go by sword, but there are goods to bring back, and Meng Yao’s skill at riding the sword is still lacking. 
This, at least, Meng Yao can understand. He’d felt similarly when Nie zongzhu had given him the task of escorting the young master to the Cloud Recesses. “When Nie zongzhu sends me on similar errands for him, I have found it is a sign not that he values me less, but that the errand in question is important to him, and that to be trusted with it is a great honor.”
Su Minshan shakes his head. He has a pleasant face, but, unfortunately, bitterness does not become it. “I’m sure that’s true for you. I’ve been trying to get Lan zongzhu to give me a chance, I’ve worked so hard, and for all that he still just sees me as a courier. Because I’m not a Lan. You really think they’d trust some farm boy with this task if it was so important?”
Meng Yao could ask him if he thinks that Nie zongzhu would trust a whore’s son with something as important as conveying his wayward brother safely and handling inter-clan relations, but that wouldn’t help, and wouldn’t be half as satisfying in actuality as it is in imagination. He is no stranger to bruised egos and to feeling like one’s hard work is taken for granted. Looking sympathetic is not difficult. “Su gongzi, it is the greatest satisfaction to have the appreciation of one’s sect leader. I am no one important, and so my appreciation won’t matter. But for what little it is worth, you have it in abundance for coming all this way to help my mother.”
This seemed to have done nothing but make Su Minshan aware that he’d been being quite rude. “It’s nothing,” he said with a shrug. “Wasting of the lungs in a commoner... a little medicine, a little playing, any junior disciple could manage it.”
“Playing? Like what Lan zongzhu did at the gift ceremony?” Meng Yao had never heard of music being used in healing. Or in cultivation really, for that matter. The concept fascinated him.
“Sort of,” said Su Minshan, brightening a little despite himself. “Except I use a guqin, not a xiao, and my spiritual tool isn’t very impressive. And I’m not as good as the Jades. Or the senior disciples.”
“I’m sure you’re better than me,” said Meng Yao. “The skill of the musicians of Gusu is renowned, even in Qinghe. Unfortunately, Nie zongzhu doesn’t appreciate music, so I have little opportunity to play myself.”
“You play qin?” asked Su Minshan.
Meng Yao nodded. “My mother taught me. She also taught me to read and write. She was one of the best players in Yunmeng, before she got sick. She doesn’t play much anymore.”
“I had to teach my mother how to read, so I could send her letters from the Cloud Recesses.”
“I’m sure she’s very proud to have such a learned son.” If she was anything like Meng Yao’s mother she was obnoxiously proud. Suffocatingly proud. Embarrassingly proud. Never stopped telling anyone who would listen about everything he did and everything he was going to do proud. Meng Yao hoped that Su Minshan’s mother was something like his own. If only because it might endear her to him, make him do a better job. Not because that would mean that this sad boy had someone in his life who saw his accomplishments and not just his failings. Meng Yao certainly didn’t care about that.
Su Minshan went back to looking out the window of the carriage, and Meng Yao went back to studying the cultivation manual he’d bought in Gusu. He was interrupted some time later by Su Minshan blurting “Maybe I can teach you the healing song. When we stop for tonight. If you want. Since you know how to play.”
Meng Yao did not gape, because he was better than that. He also didn’t sputter out any of the reasons they shouldn’t tearing through his mind. He didn’t have his instrument with him; surely it was an insult for him to handle this cultivator’s spiritual tool; surely it was a breach for Su Minshan to teach him, a guest of the Nie, a proprietary technique of the Lan sect; surely musical cultivation, like what he’d seen Lan zongzhu do at the gift ceremony, was far beyond his paltry skill and weak core. Instead, he beamed at the other man. “I would like that very much, Su Minshan.”
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