#they're both child murderers

[dragonofsapphires]

look at this lil guy he's my favorite fictional character of all time he's the best he's my son

i drew this btw

[one-hit-boy-wonder]

duke and tim have SO much in common and they'd be SUCH good friends but noooo tim had to "die" the minute duke joined the family and then when he came back dc forgot duke existed

[random-autie-fangirl]

Fudge it, here's my Chara playlist

It includes just about everything from pre fall to life with the Dreemurrs to pacifist narrachara to the murder run to a brief bit of souless pacifist to even some barely canonical thoughts on delta Chara.

And yes, it is in order, (though I tend to reorder it quite a bit) and yes, I am aware it is waaaay too long.

Also it's chopped into parts by stp song so:

Pre-fall- The prisoner

Living with Dreemurrs- The princess (I know that's not a chapter 1 tune but none of those fitted)

Pacifist narrachara- The witch

Geno Chara- The nightmare

Delta/Angel Chara- The tower

(the other stp songs don't chop up anything. They're just there because...that's where they fit. And because I like stp)

Also if some of them are random animatics or amvs from other fandoms, that doesn't normally mean anything other than that's how I encountered the song and I don't have the time to change it all.

Oh, and none of the songs geared towards Asriel are supposed to be romantic despite the original context of some of them.

[br1ghtestlight]

I'll be watching as you breathe..... please forgive me won't you dear :(

[llycaons]

ironically I've only seen one kdrama and its modern day with no magic or anything but it IS insane the relationships are so interesting and the fashion is stunning

[runelocked]

HAPPIEST  DAY.  William  had  planned  for  it.  They both  had.  It  hurts  his  pride  almost  as  much  as  it  hurts  his  heart  to  know  that  his  own  inventions  are  to  blame  for  his  youngest’s  death.  Not  his,  he  reminds  himself,  vicious  cold  fingers  pausing  their  movement  against  his  wife’s  back.  He  had  not  made  Fredbear.  Had  not  created  the  beast  that  would  seize  his  son  in  its  jaws,  HAD  created,  in  part,  the  boy  responsible  for  the  action.  The  man’s  eyes  shut  tight,  vitriol  spluttering  through  his  veins  in  place  of  blood.  He  cannot  think  his  oldest  son’s  name.  Has  not  spoken  a  word  to  him  other  than  the  initial  cruel  words  on  the  way  to  the  hospital  from  the  diner,  and  the  wild,  wild  laugh  at  the  boy’s  tears  before  the  funeral.  In  a  way  it  feels  better  to  lie  here  with  Rosa,  shut  out  his  remaining children  and  sink  into  his  grief  and  rage.  

“ We  can  bring  him  back, ”  he  voices  the  thoughts  that  have  been  consuming  his  mind  since  kissing  Evan  goodbye:  does  not  take  his  wife’s  feelings  into  consideration  as  he  does  so,  “ I  can  find  a  way . . .  We  can  find  a  way.  These  suits,  Rosa,  they’re -  they’re  not  just  machines.  They’re  more  than  that.  Sometimes  almost  sentient,  it  seems. ”  Does  not  think  about  Chica’s  accusing  stare,  only  newly - built,  as  he’d  hidden  the  girl’s  body  inside  it  in  a  panic.  That’s  where  his  attention  had  been  while  Evan  sobbed:  in  the  aftermath,  the  blood  on  his  shirt  had  blended  with  Evan’s,  and  no  missing  child  had  been  reported  as  of  yet.  Eyes  opening,  twisting  upright  to  face  his  wife - 

“ He’s  not  gone  forever.  Not  our  boy.  I  promise  you,  love.  We’ll  be  together  again  before  you  know  it. ”  LIKE  NOTHING  HAD  EVER  HAPPENED  IN  THE  FIRST  PLACE.

@khalaesi / CONTINUED.

[demonic0angel]

Jack and Maddie try to introduce their girlfriend Talia to living like a normal person. Of course, they're both insane, so this has mixed results.

“So… you have no servants?” Talia asked, trailing a finger along the edge of a cabinet and then pulling away to look at the dust that accumulated, an eyebrow rising on her face. “How do you keep things clean?”

“We have Jazz and Danny do them as chores,” Maddie said with a smile. “It teaches children responsibility, discipline, and necessary life skills.”

Talia nodded slowly. “I see.”

Jack pulled Talia via a hand to her waist as he also said cheerfully, “We also teach them how to clean up their weapons and any accidents! This way, they’ll know what to do if they kill a ghost!”

Both of Talia’s eyebrows rose and she looked at Maddie, who pressed against her other side. “Is that normal? Teaching children to clean up after their killings?”

“‘Killings’ sound so illegal,” Maddie chided. “We call it exterminations. And of course! Any child should know how to clean up after an accident they made!”

Talia nodded to herself again, muttering, “I knew Bruce was wrong…” she looked at her two lovers and asked, “What else do you two teach your children?”

“We teach them a variety of martial arts, weaponry, machinery, and much more! It’s important that they know how to defend themselves if a ghost attacks them! Jazz was able to learn almost every single weapon we have in our arsenal since she was 5! Danny knows over 22 forms of martial arts and he’s still learning. You should’ve seen it when he was young,” Maddie sniffed. “He used to try and fail to flip Jack over and now he’s kicking his father in the face!”

Jack also sniffled, wiping away a tear. “I’m so proud!”

Talia beamed. She loved how proud her partners were of their children’s fighting prowess. After all, she felt the same way. “I agree. My dear son is also the same. He learned since he was very young and now he is quite proficient with a sword. What weapons do you two teach?”

“Everything!” Jack grinned. “Staffs, swords, guns, ribbons, fans, frying pans, waffle irons, a beach toy— you name it! I can promise you that Jazz and Danny will be the best ghost exterminators in the world when they’re older!”

Talia seemed to almost swell with delight. For once, her cold and haughty demeanor broke as she smiled brightly. “So you agree? That teaching your children to be the strongest is the ultimate life goal?”

Maddie and Jack shared a look and then nodded at Talia in agreement. “But of course,” Jack said, trying to sound wise, “It’s also important that they learn to have fun! That’s why we let them drive the car whenever we go out exterminating for ghosts! And we also make sure that they bond with others and have friends— that way, more people can be on the watch out for ghosts and help us hunt them down!”

Talia smiled. “I will take your advice in mind. Oh, it would be wonderful if my beloved son could meet you too. He’s only learned the basics: over 10 forms of martial arts, several swords, a mastery of basic melee weapons, and he knows how to use a staff, but I believe that your training can join our families together and make our children even stronger!”

Maddie blushed bright red. “Oh, Tally!” She cooed and then drew in their girlfriend for a kiss.

Jack beamed and said, “I can’t wait for our kids to meet yours! We can be one big, happy, normal family!”

From a distance, Jazz and Danny shared a bewildered and almost frightened look.

How on earth did their parents find someone who was almost as crazy as them….??

And how on earth did they all share the same murderous braincell??

[astrotruther]

Rising Signs Observations

Unserious =͟͟͞♡

➶ Aries Ascendant is a very rare placement. The most identifiable trait of these natives is their innocent faces. The sign of Aries brings a child-like quality. These people are often told that they look way younger than their age. They also often don't indulge in cosmetic procedures because they like their youthful/ natural look. E.g. Penélope Cruz, Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

➶ Taurus Ascendants (both men & women) are some of the most on-paper/ conventionally beautiful people that I've never looked at twice. I'm sorry, you all are amazing, I've just never been attracted to a Taurus Rising. E.g. Miley Cyrus, Austin Butler. With Gemini in their 2nd House, they can be very successful writers. E.g. Toni Morrison, George R. R. Martin, Salman Rushdie.

➶ Gemini Ascendant women have some of the most unforgettable faces. They also have a youthful look but their beauty differs from Aries Ascendant. They rarely come off as childlike or cute, their aura is rather graceful and intellectual. E.g. Julianne Moore, Kristen Stewart, Amy Winehouse, Priyanka Chopra, Drew Barrymore. Men with this placement are also popular but there's nothing jaw dropping about their looks (or maybe it's just me lol). E.g. Matthew McConaughey, Armie Hammer, Ashton Kutcher.

➶ Cancer Rising men are so chill and have a knack for comedy. E.g. Paul Rudd, Matt LeBlanc, Hasan Minhaj. Their talking voice can be a little goofy; E.g. The Weeknd lol. Women are usually sweet but can be problematic/ drama queens if unevolved. E.g. Chrissy Teigen, Tyra Banks.

➶ The placement that's hands down most likely to gain massive fame is Leo Ascendant. An issue most of them seem to face is of longevity. Often they're associated with a certain project or stereotyped in some way that people can't see them as a versatile individual. Blake Lively - Gossip Girl, Lucy Hale - Pretty Little Liars, Matthew Perry - F.R.I.E.N.D.S, Selena Gomez - Justin Bieber, lol sorry!

➶ Virgo Risings have the most boy/ girl next door aura about them. They have a similar charming wit as Gemini Risings which makes them likable and popular. However, these people may have skeletons in their closet. They are ordinary enough that nobody suspects them of any wrong-doing. This is the placement that can get away with murder. Even if controversies come to light, they're much later in their careers after they've amassed fame, wealth and success. E.g. Steve Jobs, Chris Noth.

➶ Libra Ascendants don't necessarily have the best fashion sense but they always look good. They're very likeable and often down to earth people. Very loyal. Some of them gain a lot of attention for the people they choose to date. E.g. Jennifer Aniston, Britney Spears, Yoko Ono.

➶ I've seen people say Capricorn Risings are a lot like Scorpio Risings due to dark aesthetic/ piercings etc. While Saturn does influence the aesthetic but it is still a very surface level observation based on celebs that often just put on a persona. The essence of these two is quite different:

Scorpio Risings are charmers. They look you in the eye while you talk to them. The eyes are the most obvious identifying factor. Rather than having a specific shape, Scorpio risings' eyes have a depth to them that makes you feel 'seen', and has an underlying promise of understanding your true self. Also, it is THE bollywood IT boy placement. E.g. Shah Rukh Khan, Hritik Roshan, Arjun Rampal. Personal planets in Scorpio, especially a stellium, has a similar effect. However, I don't see it manifest in the same way for women. Their piercing gaze may often come off as just cold. The most prominent example of this is Chloë Sevigny.

On the other hand, Cap. Risings are charming in a less personal way. They are the lookers, the ones on the stage, the center of attention; they radiate their charm to the hoards of awestruck admirers. There's no reading between the lines for unsaid promises, just a very attractive person. E.g. Ariana Grande, Jung Kook, Zac Efron.

➶ Sagittarius Risings have a natural talent in acting. Some may look intimidating from afar but they're very kind people once you talk to them. They're versatile and like to experiment with their art, style, self-expression etc. Their fashion sense depends on whether or not they have a good stylist. E.g. Elizabeth Taylor, RM, Brad Pitt, Winona Ryder, Jennifer Lawrence, Jodie Foster, Jada Pinkett-Smith, Kim Kardashian.

➶ Aquarius Risings - popular & widely talked about on the internet, no matter if the career is prolific or not. These are the celebs whom most people have a crush on. E.g. Ian Somerhalder, Zendaya, Aaliyah, Audrey Hepburn, George Clooney, Orlando Bloom.

➶ Pisces Risings - Something very distinct about their look or the way they speak/ sing etc. Sometimes the eyes have an intimidating look to them but they're the least intimidating people ever. E.g. Billie Eilish, Adam Driver, Peter Dinklage, Morgan Freeman, Ellen DeGeneres, Kajol.

Click daily to help Palestinians🍉🙏🏽: https://arab.org/click-to-help/palestine/

[mintyys-blog]

I'm eating your invincible fanfics up like˓˓⍥⃝⃝ ˒˒

I rlly wanna ask if you can do headcanons of the invincible variants and main mark, and where the reader is just fucking unhinged, but in a good way! Like there's this lady on tiktok that said something across the lines of "If she had an army she's make sure they're all 5'5 or under 5 foot", and I can't stop imagining reader saying some shit like that as well and they're just like :"When I start building my army, ima make sure they're all under 5 foot, because you'll be looking you for them like" Where they at? AH SHIT THEY'RE ON MY FEET" and then boom your dead, because short people look like they always got a bone to pick."

Pretty please, I need headcanons of their reactions with shit like this it'd be so funny😭

HEADCANON | they react to you being unhinged

INVINCIBLE MASTERLIST | WARNINGS: dark themes

Mainstream Mark

• He never knows what you’re gonna say next, and it terrifies him.

You’ll be sipping juice like, “I think I should start an underground cult. But cute. Pink robes. Glitter blood oaths.”

And he’s like, “…Wait. What?”

• He’s supportive, but confused. He also tries to convince himself you’re just joking— even when you’re not.

“Why do you want your entire army to be under 5 feet tall?”

“So the enemy can’t see them coming. I want the element of surprise, Mark.”

“…Oh. Okay. That actually makes sense—wait, NO IT DOESN’T.”

• He genuinely thinks you’re hilarious, but there are moments he has to sit you down like, “Hey, babe… just checking… you’re not actually building an army in the garage, right?”

You blink. “Of course not. They’re already in the basement.”

“WHAT.”

Sinister Mark

• He is in love. Like, deeply and dangerously in love.

The moment you said, “I want an army of unhinged feral 4’11 women with rage disorders,” he dropped to one knee.

• “You know what I like about you?” he growls, dragging a bloody hand down your cheek.

“What, baby?”

“You’re crazy, but you make it look sexy.”

Then he helps you write your evil speech. In blood.

• You two gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss together and the world suffers for it.

If you say, “Let’s build a catapult that launches grenades filled with bees,” he’s already halfway through blueprint sketches.

Mohawk Mark

• “YESSS, BABY! BUILD THAT ARMY! I WANNA SEE CARNAGE FROM THE GROUND UP!”

You could tell him you want to weaponize squirrels and he’d hand you acorns like, “Make it rain.”

• He’s the kind of guy to scream, “I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’RE DOING BUT I’M IN!” while charging into battle behind your 4’9 war generals.

• He once saw you put hot sauce in your eye “for battle readiness” and asked if he could do the other one.

You’re both certifiably unhinged, and he lives for it.

Omni Mark

• You: “I want a platoon of murder-happy shorties who can hide in vents and emotionally destroy a man.”

Him: “That’s… incredibly inefficient.”

Also him, 2 days later: builds them custom weapons and agility suits in secret.

• He’s not gonna encourage your chaos, but he’s definitely invested.

“If you’re going to start a revolution, at least let me vet the recruits.”

• You are the only one who can say, “I wanna drown a city in glitter and rage” and get a slow, reluctant smirk from him.

Shiesty Mark

• “You wanna burn down a government building? Say less.”

You didn’t even finish the sentence before he was sliding you a Molotov cocktail.

• He thinks your unhinged ideas are sexy as hell. You once yelled, “I WANNA RECRUIT CHILD ASSASSINS” and he leaned over and whispered, “You’re turning me on, baby.”

• 100% the kind of guy who would smoke a blunt with you while drawing up insane plans on a napkin. “We should stage a fake alien invasion. Real aliens optional.”

No Goggles Mark

• You: “Short people are angrier. I want that rage on my side.”

Him: “If one of them bites me, I’m gonna say thank you.”

• He’s obsessed with your chaos. He doesn’t even care what your plan is, he’s just excited to see you snap.

“Make them hurt, babe. I’ll carry the body bags.”

• You two relish mayhem together.

You: “Should I train them to kill with sharpened lollipops?”

Him: “I’ll test one on my arm. Let’s see how deep it goes.”

⸻

Full Mask Mark

• You say you want to start an army of under-5-foot murder gremlins and he just nods and starts sharpening knives.

• He doesn’t question you. He just makes it happen. Builds an entire underground complex. Outfits your soldiers in tactical pink and red.

• He never speaks on your chaotic behavior, but you know he’s weirdly turned on every time you monologue about kneecap warfare.

⸻

No Mask Mark

• “You want to weaponize short people? That’s beautiful.”

You: “I was gonna teach them to hide in the floorboards.”

Him: “Let me build the floorboards.”

• He’s the one who makes your ideas reality while you’re joking and then deadass looks at you like,

“We’re committed now. You can’t back out.”

• You say something offhand like, “We should unleash thousands of raccoons during a peace summit,” and he already has a team gathering feral wildlife.

Prisoner Mark

• You told him you want a small but deadly army.

He whispered, “I’ll kill for you.”

You: “No babe, it’s a metaphor.”

Him: “It’s not anymore.”

• He helps you recruit. He sits in on the psych tests. He makes sure every one of your tiny soldiers can snap a femur.

“They must be small. But deadly. Just like my girl.”

• You told him you wanted a throne of skulls. He brought you five. From where?

“Don’t ask. Just sit.”

Target/Striped Mark

• You say you’re starting an army and he just starts yelling:

“LET’S F***ING GOOOOOOO!”

Throws a table. Kisses you. Says he’s never loved you more.

• He becomes your loudest general. Screaming orders in the chaos like,

“REMEMBER WHAT SHE SAID! BITE THE ANKLES! BITE ‘EM!”

• Once you said, “I want the battlefield to look like a cursed anime convention.”

He got matching outfits for the whole squad and a flag with your face on it.

Viltrumite Mark

• You: “I’m gonna build an army. But only short people. Like 5 feet and under. You ever try to punch a tiny person? They’re hard to hit. They’re slippery. And vengeful.”

• Him: Stares for a full 30 seconds in silence.

“…That’s absurd.”

You: “Absurdly genius?”

“…No.” Pause. “…But I can see the tactical advantage.”

• He doesn’t laugh. Doesn’t smile. Doesn’t react.

But then the next week? He gives you a battlefield layout that includes subterranean tunnels perfect for “your little chaos agents.”

• You once said, “Short people have rage like it’s a birthright. If I train them to punch above their weight class, they’ll be invincible.”

He muttered, “You don’t need an army. You alone are dangerous enough.”

…Was that a compliment? A threat? Romance? Yes.

• He’s secretly fascinated by how deranged you are. You’ll be monologuing like a cartoon villain about “fireproof hamster armor” and “booby-trapped jungle gyms,” and he’ll just cross his arms and say,

“You’re insane.”

Then offer you funding. “Laugh at her again. I dare you.”

• Sometimes you ask him to help train the army and he actually does it. He’s just so serious about it, yelling at 4’10 soldiers like they’re full-grown warriors. “Strike harder. You hesitate, you die.”

One of them cries. You, proudly: “He’s yelling because he cares.”

[oh-no-its-bird]

"They were roomates" obkkrn au where obito and Rin are an established couple who live together. And bc reasons, Kakashi needs a place to stay for a while. So obviously, yk, Kakashi comes to stay with his besties as he looks for a new apartment

What follows is a comedy of errors as Rin and Obito proceed to be absoloute fucking freaks about Kakashi. They are throwing themselves at him in increasingly desperate, concerning, and honestly at times kind of creepy tactics.

Kakashi makes them dinner as thanks and Rin makes a joke about how he should stay forever and be their housewife and Obito laughs just a little bit too hard (under the table he's clutching at his thighs so hard they're gonna bruise)

Kakashi's clothes begin to go mysteriously missing and Obito starts not to subtly suggest he just borrows his instead :))) as Rin is going "oh Kakashi you're soooo forgetful, it really makes me worry about you, you know... Maybe you just need someone to take care of you, there's no shame in that! Teehee <3"

Kakashi gets sick and Rin very seriously considers giving him fake medicine so he can stay sick (and under her care) longer

Kakashi complains ab how expensive housing is and how he can't afford any of this shit on his salary, and Obito "jokes" a little too enthusiastically that he should just quit his job and find a hot sugar daddy. Or something. Wouldn't that be funny. Right Kakashi? Right? Right? Hey, you know Obito himself is pretty wealthy ahahahaha—

Kakashi remains completley oblivious.

Genma comes over for dinner one day, and at that point things have escalated so much that several of the weird comments and behaviors on Obito and Rin's side are the new "normal." So Genma just sits there through, what is from his perspective, the weirdest and most uncomfortably charged dinner of his fucking LIFE.

When he leaves, Genma just puts a hand on Kakashi's shoulder and tells him good fucking luck. Kakashi remains confused.

Uhhh endgame Genma tells Kakashi to open his fucking eyes bc Obito and Rin want him BAD. And after the initial disbelief, Kakashi begins to test the waters of leaning into/indulging in Obito and Rin's newest freak behavior and seeing what they do

And just Kakashi subtly fucking with them both by playing into whatever the fuck is happening in their heads, just to see what happens. He's thriving actually

Anyways I'm coming to learn that my favorite obkkrn dynamic is just.

Obito 🤝 Rin -> being freaks about Kakashi together

To be fair tho: it's REALLY funny. And also makes total sense.

Because ofc Nohara "Obito apologist even in death" Rin, and Uchiha "Rin was a perfect angel who I will put on a pedestal till my dying day and destroy the world in the name of creating a new world she could have been happy in" Obito would make eachother INFINITELY worse!!

Obito is incapable of seeing his own or Rin's possible wrongs, and Rin literally was on Obito's side even through the genocide, Kakashi stalking, child murder, detailed plans to take over the world, etc. There is no way in hell these two could actually ground eachother, sorry. In my eyes they would only make eachothers freak factors infinitely worse.

Every time either one of them gains even a SHRED of self-awareness, the other is right there to comfort them and insist that "nooo ur soooo normal, I promise <33" and "its ok if you're a little bit of a (stalker, murderer, obsessed with Kakashi) freak... it's not ur fault u have ptsd..."

Rin and Obito both suffer from the Kakashi Illness(tm) but it presents itself in different ways and they feed into eachothers fixation on the guy in the worst (best) ways

[gollancz]

Guys. Christmas is coming. Consumerism is in the driver's seat and GAWD don't I know about the existential ennui of all these faceless corporations trying to schill you their wares. It's cold. Impersonal. Bleak.

So I, a fellow tumblr user, will instead try to schill you MY wares, so that when you purchase these items you can say "Hey, that person from tumblr worked on this", and feel the warmth of HUMAN CONNECTION in a way that is completely normal and not parasocial at all. We really are friends. I promise. Yes, you. Love you, bestie. Remember the boop war? Good times. Fond memories.

THIRTEEN STOREYS and FAMILY BUSINESS by Jonathan Sims

Tumblr's favourite Nightmare Factory @jonnywaistcoat has two novels out and they're phenomenal horror that also punch you in the throat with SOCIAL COMMENTARY and FEELINGS. He's so adept at tapping into the specific part of my brain that feels fear like a small child - not the adult creepy scared that I normally get around horror, but specifically the kind of fear that almost freezes your limbs and vocal chords with a terror you don't quite understand because there is so much in the world that you don't know, but you know that somehow this thing might be quick enough or smart enough or sneaky enough to get you before you can get to the safety of your parents sort of fear.

THIRTEEN STOREYS is a haunted house novel, but set in a refurbished block of flats. Each chapter follows a different resident being haunted in a different way, with a style to match the flavour of ghost. It's all tied together phenomenally and brutally.

FAMILY BUSINESS is a story about ghosts in a different way, following a woman who joins a post-mortem house cleaning service while grieving the death of her best friend. But as she removes the stains from the houses of the dead, she begins to suspect something else is removing even more.

Both of these titles are available from Gollancz worldwide!

THE LAST UNICORN, THE WAY HOME, THE INNKEEPER'S SONG and A FINE AND PRIVATE PLACE by Peter S. Beagle

Obviously Peter's work needs no introduction, and our editions aren't available in the US and Canada, but I've had a wonderful time working with Peter and his team to bring these beautiful books back to the UK. Meeting him at Worldcon this year was such a magical moment, and he was jet-lagged and I had gone through sleep deprived into hyper and was bringing an Extremely Weird Energy to every interaction I had that day, resulting in this photo:

THE LAST UNICORN and THE WAY HOME are a matched pair of wonderful fairy stories. THE WAY HOME has two novellettes in it, and the first - 'Two Hearts' - won the Hugo award. It will also destroy you.

A FINE AND PRIVATE PLACE was Peter's first ever novel, and it's wistful and romantic and so beautiful.

THE INNKEEPER'S SONG is his epic fantasy quest, it's an adventure story that reads almost lyrically. Also there's an orgy in the middle which caught me by surprise when I was reading it for the first time on the train into work.

HIGH VAULTAGE by Chris and Jen Sugden

It's possible that someone on this website doesn't know I was involved with this book but don't worry, I will HUNT THEM DOWN AND TELL THEM. This is the first book I took all the way through the editorial process from end to end and I am SO PROUD of it and Chris and Jen and their wonderful world of @victoriocity. Officially one of the seven funniest books published in the UK this year, shortlisted for the Wodehouse Prize for Comic Fiction. It's a chaotic, bonkers murder mystery set in an alternate Victorian London which is the most gleeful dystopia I have ever encountered.

Featuring:

Grumpy Sunshine besties

The Victorian Equivalent of the Chuck Norris Meme

A robot who undertook a course in People Management

An indefatigable beagle

This is another book that you can get from Gollancz all over the world, and you SHOULD because it's amazing. Go into your local bookshop and ask them to order it into stock. It's a great Christmas present. It's my firstborn book baby (like that's a completely normal thing to say when I didn't even write it). Also if you're a fan of the podcast, why not tell the Guardian how great it is, and make a nuisance of yourself until they review. (I would, but the form asks for your name and then they'd know I didn't suddenly discover Victoriocity this year. Either that or think I was a very careless editor.) If you've not listened to the podcast yet, you absolutely should. It pings all my Douglas Adams receptors in the best way. If you like HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE, if you like CABIN PRESSURE, VICTORIOCITY is the perfect addition.

HAMMAJANG LUCK by Makana Yamamoto

SLIGHTLY cheating because HAMMAJANG LUCK isn't out in North America until January (pre-orders make great Christmas presents guys), but it IS out in the UK and the rest of the world next week! This is my second big editorial project and it's a Big Gay Space Heist ft. disaster lesbians, trans characters, and a tech billionaire getting put in his place. It's joyous and energetic and crammed full of Hawaiian pidgin as a love letter to the diaspora. @makana-yama is a phenomenal writer and this is their love letter to their communities, families both born and found, while also a statement on the victims of gentrification (and how those are disproportionally BIPOC communities). PLUS:

friends to enemies to cautious allies to lovers

trans cyborgs

Suck It Space Elon

You know that One Scene in Charlie's Angels where Cameron Diaz is in the white body suit and breaking into the safe and has to stretch out to hit two buttons at once? Yeah. That's the vibe.

Being able to work with Makana is a delight, and HAMMAJANG tapped into all the feelings I got watching LEVERAGE for the first time, so I went to watch it again while I was editing. Also OCEAN'S 8.

DEEP BLACK by Miles Cameron

So, barring Branderson, Miles Cameron may be one of our most prolific authors. He writes a minimum two books a year, one SFF and one historical fiction (as Christian Cameron) and he is... An absolute phenomenon. He IS the Chuck Norris meme. I'm obsessed with him. He's former US military intelligence turned naturalised Canadian Hippy, has written over fifty novels, can turn his hand to any genre and write it fantastically, is a practical archaeologist - running large scale re-enactments from a variety of periods ranging from Bronze Age right the way up to the Victorian era, using traditional techniques to allow academics to study how the practicalities of weapons, clothes, food etc. would have worked in practice. Two years ago he won a medieval combat tournament in Verona, a clear ten years older at least than the next oldest competitor, he teaches Historical European Martial Arts, but ties it into the history of martial arts globally. He can make his own clothes, ink, leatherwork. He's a ballet dancer. I once took him for a day out and he ended it in a different shirt and shoes from the ones he'd started in. I asked him for an author photo and he sent me this:

DEEP BLACK is the sequel to his critically acclaimed SF debut ARTIFACT SPACE, where he has taken his research and experience of global historical cultures and extrapolated to create an interplanetary future where the best of all are celebrated. And then Aliens Happen. And then, in reaction, Capitalism Happens (which is covered in the short story collection BEYOND THE FRINGE).

He's such a thoughtful and erudite speaker, if you're curious about his work, I'd recommend listening to his episodes on the Friends Talking Fantasy podcast, and also his appearance on The Publishing Rodeo.

If SF isn't your bag, he's also got:

Arthurian fantasy

Bronze Age fantasy

Medieval Mages fantasy

A CURSE OF CROWS - Lauren Dedroog

I actually inherited Lauren when a colleague of mine departed for fresh pastures, which gave me the great opportunity to work on this series which is so vastly different from my usual fare. It's epic, sweeping, romantic and lush, with such detailed description and complex political machinations, while also being brutal, dark and heavy (tw: for sexual assault, torture etc, etc.). If you like Sarah J Maas and Cassandra Clare, this should hit the sweet spot. Lauren is an ICU nurse when not writing, and this was somehow created when she was putting in a million hours in hospitals during COVID. The feat boggles my mind.

A CURSE OF CROWS is out now in the UK, Australia and Europe, and it won the People's Choice for Standaard Boek's Book of the Year award in 2023, in her home country of Belgium. It will be hitting shelves in North America next September! A DANCE OF SERPENTS is where I get to pick up the editorial mantle, and that has just landed in my inbox this week so I am excited to dig in.

Featuring:

Harold, they're lesbians

Murder baby is actually a cinnamon roll

Sensitive wings are sexy

For serious, though, I'm lucky enough to work with a lot of authors I'm genuinely obsessed and astounded by. And yes, I do get to work on Joe Abercrombie, Brandon Sanderson and Andrzej Sapkowski, but they're not MY authors - they're led by the incredible Gillian and Marcus who I'm not 100% certain sleep. There are so many people on the Gollancz list who I could recommend for DAYS (and will, if you so request), but this is my stable of superstars.

[gf2bellamy]

Hello!!! First I wanted to say I absolutely adoreeee your fics I literally read them like bedtime stories honestly😭🙏

I also wanted to request perhaps reader and spencer at jj's wedding (reader also being a part of the bau) and they've both been best friends for years. They dance together and as it's getting late, spencer offers reader to stay at his place for the night because it's closer. Then they go back to his apartment and nervously end up admitting feelings for eachother!!! Like it comes up in conversation while they're just hanging out and watching TV or whatnot and maybe they also get super emotional and teary because of how much they both mean to eachother. Hope this is coherent enough or not too elaborate 😭 thank you so much anyhow though - you are a brilliant writer!

wedding — spencer reid

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader ( no use of y/n ) content warnings: reader wears a dress , lots of dancing , mention of a case a/n: hi hi ! i hope you like this <3 i loved writing this

“You know you’re staring, right?”

Penelope Garcia’s voice snapped you out of your trance. She nudged your shoulder with hers, her dress catching the light as she tilted her head toward you.

You blinked, pulled from your thoughts as your gaze reluctantly drifted away from where Spencer stood beneath the garden lights.

He was crouched down, completely absorbed in showing Henry a card trick, his voice soft. The child’s eyes were wide with wonder.

Yours weren’t much different.

You were at JJ's wedding, waiting out in the garden while the she got ready. The evening air was cool but pleasant, and strings of fairy lights twinkled like stars overhead.

“What?” you asked, trying to sound casual, though your tone betrayed you.

Garcia turned to face you fully, her expression smug in the most Garcia way possible.

“You.” She pointed a finger at you . “Were staring.” Then she swiveled her finger dramatically toward Spencer. “At Dr. Adorable over there.”

Your face warmed, and you blinked at her, still half-lost in the haze of watching Spencer—the way his hair fell just slightly into his eyes when he leaned forward, the joy in his expression as he entertained Henry.

Your mouth opened to protest, but no words came out. You glanced back toward Spencer before you could stop yourself—he was laughing now, Henry giggling with him, and the sight made your heart twist in the gentlest way.

Garcia raised an eyebrow, clearly enjoying the flustered look on your face. “I mean, if you're gonna pine, at least do it with a little less intensity. People are gonna start thinking you're plotting his murder or planning your wedding. There is no in-between with that look.”

You rolled your eyes, but a smile tugged at your lips. “Stop,” you said weakly, pointing a finger at her in mock warning.

“Mhmm,” she hummed, the grin never leaving her face as she slowly backed away. “I’ll leave you to your lovesick sighing. But just so you know, you’re not nearly as subtle as you think you are.”

You watched her disappear into the reception with a sigh, your eyes inevitably drawn back to Spencer. His head tilted up slightly, and for a moment, it almost felt like he was about to look right at you. You froze. But instead, he ruffled Henry’s hair and stood up with that soft smile still lingering on his lips.

Some time later, you were standing quietly beside Garcia, watching as JJ's mother walked her down the aisle.

The moment was beautiful���soft music playing, petals lining the path, the kind of memory that felt like it would live in everyone’s mind forever.

You glanced across the aisle.

Spencer was standing directly opposite you, looking striking in his dark suit. His hair was just slightly tousled in that effortlessly handsome way he never seemed to realize he had.

You tried not to stare—but that resolve didn’t last long. Your eyes kept finding their way back to him.

What you didn’t know was that he was doing the exact same thing.

It turned into a quiet game of glances and near-catches. Every time you looked over, he had just looked away. Every time his eyes landed on you, yours had already shifted elsewhere.

A dance of almosts.

Later, as the reception began and you found your seat at one of the round tables lit with candles and scattered rose petals, you found yourself sitting between Emily and Rossi. The chair across from you remained empty for only a moment—until Spencer took it, still sneaking those glances when he thought you weren’t looking.

Rossi stood, glass in hand, and the room hushed as he began his toast. His voice was warm and full of love, weaving a beautiful speech to JJ and Will.

While the rest of the room listened with full attention, Spencer found himself watching you instead.

You were smiling—softly, sincerely—as you listened to Rossi speak, and it knocked the air right out of him. Your dress, elegant but simple, shimmered slightly in the candlelight.

He’d nearly lost his footing when he saw you walk in earlier. Morgan had caught him gaping and slapped his shoulder with a laugh, saying, “Try to be subtle, pretty boy,” before shooting a look to Garcia. She, in turn, had already noticed the exact same look on your face when Spencer entered the venue.

“Cheers!” Rossi’s voice rang out, snapping Spencer back to the moment.

Everyone raised their glasses, laughter and the clinking of glass echoing softly around the room. You tapped your glass gently against Emily’s and then Rossi’s, then your eyes found Spencer’s—finally, directly.

You held his gaze and raised your glass slightly toward him. The gesture was small but intimate. Intentional.

He blinked, as if surprised you were really looking at him this time, and then he smiled—soft, warm, and a little shy. He raised his glass in return, eyes never leaving yours.

About twenty minutes later, the music softened, and couples slowly began to gather on the dance floor.

You laughed, breathless, as Morgan suddenly took your hand and pulled you onto the dance floor with dramatic flair.

“Morgan!” you protested through your giggles, but he just grinned, spinning you lightly before placing one hand at your waist and the other in yours.

“Come on, don’t pretend you’re not having fun,” he teased as the two of you began to sway to the rhythm.

You rolled your eyes fondly, your smile not faltering for a second. The two of you moved easily together, playful, but Morgan’s attention wasn’t entirely on the dance. He glanced over your shoulder, eyes locking with Spencer’s across the room.

Spencer stood by the edge of the dance floor, fidgeting with the cuff of his suit jacket. He hadn’t stopped watching you all night. You looked radiant—happy, glowing. And that look on your face... he wanted so badly to be the one putting it there.

But nerves had kept him frozen.

You and Spencer had been best friends for years. Through tough cases, long nights, and vulnerable confessions whispered in quiet hotel rooms, you’d been there.

Always. And yet tonight, seeing you in that dress, with your hair framing your face just so, had knocked him completely off balance.

Morgan had noticed, of course.

Before dragging you to the dance floor, he’d spent the last ten minutes nudging Spencer with not-so-subtle comments, even outright pushing him toward the dance floor once. “You’re really gonna let me dance with her all night when you’re clearly dying to?”

Spencer had brushed him off, flustered and full of excuses—until now.

Morgan raised an eyebrow meaningfully as he danced with you, silently daring Spencer to make a move.

Spencer swallowed hard, his eyes locked with Morgan’s. Then they slid to you. You were smiling, your cheeks flushed with laughter, your hand resting lightly on Morgan’s shoulder.

That was it.

He bit his lip, straightened his jacket, and finally—finally—stepped forward.

As Morgan saw him approaching, he leaned in and whispered to you, “Looks like my job here is done.”

You gave him a puzzled look just as the song transitioned into a slower, sweeter melody.

And then Morgan stepped back.

You turned—and there he was. Spencer. Hands slightly fidgety, but eyes soft and full of something that made your breath catch.

“May I?” he asked, his voice a little quiet, a little shy.

You smiled, your heart skipping a beat. “Took you long enough.”

You slipped your hand into his, and as he pulled you gently into the dance, everything else seemed to fade away.

You were nervous—your heart beating a little faster than it should—but when your eyes met his, something in you relaxed. You smiled, even brighter than before.

“The wedding is beautiful,” you said quietly, your voice barely above a whisper as you glanced over at JJ and Will, dancing just a few feet away, completely wrapped up in each other.

“It really is,” Spencer replied, his gaze drifting to the newlyweds for a moment before returning to you. His hand at your waist tightened ever so slightly. “She looks really happy.”

You nodded, your smile turning softer, more thoughtful. “She does.”

Neither of you noticed the way the rest of the team was sneaking glances your way—Emily nudging Garcia with a knowing smirk, Morgan grinning to himself, Hotch watching with quiet approval. Even JJ, in the middle of her own dance, looked over and caught the moment, her expression glowing with fondness.

Spencer smiled, eyes half-lidded as he took a steadying breath, his lips just inches from your temple now. The scent of your perfume was soft and familiar, and he could feel your warmth as you instinctively scooted just a little closer.

That tiny movement sent a ripple through him.

You were here—in his arms.

“You didn’t tell me you were such a great dancer,” you said with a teasing lilt, leaning back just enough to look up at him, your brows raised playfully.

Spencer glanced down at you, and for a second, you saw the faintest flicker of smugness in his expression—but it vanished quickly, replaced with that familiar bashful smile. His eyes darted away as if the compliment had short-circuited his brain.

“Didn’t know that myself,” he admitted, chuckling softly. “Pretty sure I’m only doing okay because you’re leading.”

You grinned, heart fluttering. “Guess we make a good team, then.”

At that, his eyes met yours again—and this time, they stayed. Warm, searching, a little bit braver than before.

“I always thought we did,” he said softly.

The honesty in his voice made your chest tighten in the best way. You swallowed, your heart thudding just a little louder as your fingers gently brushed the hair at the nape of his neck.

You felt him shiver slightly under your touch.

Without thinking, you scooted closer again, closing what little space remained between you. His hand tightened slightly at your waist in response—subtle, but unmistakable.

Neither of you said anything more for the rest of the dance.

Eventually, the song faded into another. And though you didn’t want it to end, you both stepped back—reluctantly—hands falling away slower than necessary, eyes lingering.

The rest of the evening carried on like a dream.

Over the next hour, you ended up being passed around the dance floor like the unofficial guest of honor. Morgan was the first to swoop in again, spinning you dramatically as you laughed. Then came Rossi, smooth as ever, insisting it was tradition to dance with the most radiant woman at the wedding. Even Hotch surprised you with a short, polite dance.

Each one of them had something to say.

“So... you and Reid, huh?” Morgan grinned, eyebrow raised.

“You two looked like a scene straight out of a Nora Ephron movie,” Emily teased as she dipped you mid-dance, clearly enjoying herself.

“I’d say it’s about time,” Rossi murmured with a smirk, before twirling you gently. “We were starting to think we’d have to lock you both in a room until someone confessed.”

Garcia all but squealed when she finally stole you away for a spin. “Okay, do not lie to me. Was that the moment? Because I swear, there were literal stars in the air.”

You laughed so hard your cheeks hurt. It was all good-natured, wrapped in love and genuine happiness for you. But through every dance, every tease, your eyes kept finding Spencer across the room.

And every time, he was already looking at you.

By the end of the night, you found yourself lingering near the exit, wrapped in the warmth of a goodbye hug with JJ. You’d already said “Congratulations” at least ten times, and you still felt like it wasn’t enough.

“I’m just so happy for you guys,” you said again, your voice full of sincerity as you held her tight.

JJ smiled against your shoulder. “Thank you. I mean it. And… I saw the dance,” she added teasingly, pulling back with a knowing look in her eyes.

You opened your mouth to respond, but Spencer appeared beside you just in time, offering his own congratulations to JJ and Will with that soft, sweet tone. You couldn’t help but glance at him, your heart tugging a little tighter in your chest.

Once you stepped outside, the night air was cooler as you stood in the parking lot, scanning the rows of cars.

“I was supposed to go with Garcia,” you said, eyes narrowing as you spotted her leaning against Morgan’s car, deep in conversation. She was laughing and wiping what looked like the remnants of happy tears from her cheeks while Morgan nodded along.

You sighed, a half-smile tugging at your lips. “Oh, this is going to take ages.”

Spencer followed your gaze, and before he could stop himself—before his brain had even caught up with his mouth—he blurted, “You can stay at my place.”

You turned your head to look at him, brows raised, mildly surprised—but not in a bad way. You studied him, the way his eyes flicked nervously to yours, his hands suddenly unsure of what to do.

“If it’s no bother,” you said after a second, your voice quiet, cautious.

He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, then smiled softly. “Wouldn’t have asked if it was.”

“Okay,” you said, the single word sounding warmer than it should’ve, like you’d just agreed to something far bigger than a ride or a place to sleep.

He led you toward his car, once you said goodbye to Garcia.

When he opened the passenger door for you, you chuckled under your breath and murmured, “Thanks,” as you carefully lifted your dress to settle into the seat.

He closed the door gently, walked around to his side, and slid into the driver’s seat.

As the car pulled out of the lot , you glanced at him. “Please tell me you finally organized your books.”

Spencer’s fingers tightened slightly on the steering wheel, a small, guilty smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

You raised an eyebrow. “Spencer…”

The last time you’d been at his place—two weeks ago, for a movie night that never quite turned into watching the movie—you had spent half the time side-eyeing the precarious towers of books that had taken over the corners of his living room. Some were stacked by topic, others by spine color, some in what he’d dramatically called “priority order,” whatever that meant.

It had visually hurt you to look at.

You’d tried to ignore it, truly, curling up on his couch with a bowl of popcorn while he enthusiastically explained the plot of the old sci-fi movie you were watching. But eventually, your resolve had crumbled. You’d stood up mid-movie and started reorganizing by author name before he practically dragged you back to the couch.

“They have a purpose there!” he’d insisted back then, exasperated but laughing.

Now, as he turned the steering wheel with that exact same half-smile, he stayed silent just a little too long.

“Oh no. Spencer,” you dragged out his name dramatically, narrowing your eyes.

“What?” he asked, biting back a laugh.

“You didn’t organize them, did you?”

“I thought about it,” he offered carefully, glancing sideways at you.

You let your head fall back against the seat with a groan. “You had days.”

“I made peace with the system,” he said defensively, but his eyes were sparkling. “Besides… you seemed so passionate about it last time, I figured I’d leave it. Just in case you wanted to come back and finish the job.”

You turned to him slowly, giving him the most unimpressed look you could muster. “So this is your evil plan. Lure me in with tea and nerdy trivia and force me to organize your chaos.”

“It’s not chaos,” he replied, almost too quickly. “It’s a carefully designed non-linear categorization system.”

“That sounds like chaos with extra steps.”

Spencer chuckled softly, shaking his head as he turned onto his street. “You really can’t help yourself, can you?”

“Not when it comes to books stacked in a way that defies gravity, no.”

As Spencer pulled into his usual spot and parked the car, he was already unbuckling before you’d even touched the door handle. You opened your mouth to protest, but sure enough, he was already walking around to your side.

“Spencer,” you said, exasperated but smiling. “I do know how to get out of a car.”

He shrugged, a small grin tugging at his lips as he offered his hand to you anyway. “I know. But I like helping.”

You rolled your eyes playfully but took his hand. His fingers wrapped around yours—soft, warm.

The two of you walked up to his apartment, still chitchatting, your voices quiet as you relived little moments from the wedding—the way Rossi had gotten uncharacteristically sentimental in his toast, Garcia’s happy tears, how Morgan tried to dip everyone he danced with, including Strauss.

Spencer took your jacket like he always did, carefully hanging it near the door. You smiled to yourself, slipping out of your heels and placing them neatly beside his.

You remembered the first time you’d noticed it—how, without ever saying a word, he’d straighten your shoes after you entered his apartment. It was such a small thing, but it stuck with you. You never forgot it. Since then, you just… did it yourself. Because you knew he appreciated it, even if he never asked.

“I can’t feel my feet,” you mumbled, flexing your toes as you stepped onto the soft rug.

“I mean, you did dance with almost everyone,” Spencer said, heading toward the living room.

You followed him, chuckling under your breath. “Yeah. You’re right.”

The two of you dropped onto the couch like you’d been holding yourselves up all night. You let out a breath as you pulled your legs up, curling them under you, relieved to not be standing anymore. The soft cushions beneath you felt like heaven after a long night in heels.

A comfortable silence settled between you.

You yawned quietly, blinking slow, then tilted your head toward him. He was sitting on the other end of the couch, bow loosened, jacket gone, his posture a little slouched now that he could finally relax.

“But you know?” you murmured.

He turned his head to you, eyes soft in the low light of the room.

“You were my favorite dance partner,” you said, a sleepy smile curling at your lips.

He blinked, and for a second, you swore he forgot how to breathe. His mouth parted slightly, like he wanted to say something but didn’t know how to say it. Instead, he just… smiled. That quiet, lopsided smile that he only ever gave you.

“I’m glad,” he said after a moment. “You were mine too.”

You let your head lean back against the cushion, the warmth of his words lingering in your chest. And for a few minutes, you just sat like that.

That’s when the books suddenly sprang back into your mind.

Spencer had his eyes closed, head tilted slightly against the couch cushion, looking far too peaceful for someone with three towers of books leaning at precarious angles in his living room. You shifted just slightly, straightening up with purpose.

Without opening his eyes, Spencer spoke, his voice low and drowsy. “Do it tomorrow.”

You paused, caught red-handed by someone who hadn’t even been looking at you.

“I didn’t even say anything yet,” you said with a small laugh.

“You didn’t have to. I could feel your brain making a plan.”

You turned your head toward him, raising an eyebrow. “So… you’re officially letting me do it?”

He peeked one eye open to meet your gaze, then gave you a small, resigned smile. “Sure.”

You grinned, and Spencer swore—for just a second—that if he could see you smile like that one more time, he’d even let you organize his meticulously alphabetized first-edition classics in any way you wanted. And that was saying something.

There was a brief silence.

You stared at each other for a moment—too long, probably—but neither of you looked away.

Then his eyes flicked downward, catching on the folds of your dress. And before he could think better of it, before his brain could slow his mouth down, he spoke.

“You looked beautiful tonight.”

The words fell out like a confession.

His eyes went wide the moment he realized he’d said them, and color shot up his neck so fast a cheetah would've had a hard time catching it.

You blinked, startled—but the surprise quickly melted into something softer. Warmer.

“Thank you, Spencer,” you said, smiling at him in that slow, full way that made his heart feel like it was folding in on itself. “You didn’t look so bad yourself.”

He let out a small, nervous laugh, his fingers fidgeting with the cuff of his sleeve. “I, uh… tried. Morgan said I clean up okay.”

“Well, Morgan’s right,” you said, tilting your head slightly, still watching him with that smile that made it hard for Spencer to remember what breathing was supposed to feel like.

Spencer smiled softly at the compliment, his fingers still absently tracing the edge of his sleeve.

“You know,” he began, voice low, almost hesitant, “I spent most of the night trying to figure out how to ask you to dance.”

The admission slipped out before he could stop it, and his eyes flickered up to yours, wide with surprise at his own honesty.

You blinked, your breath catching just a little. “You didn’t have to figure it out,” you murmured, leaning ever so slightly closer. “You could’ve just asked.”

“I wanted it to be perfect.” He laughed, a quiet, self-conscious sound. “Which is ridiculous, because it’s me. Perfect isn’t really in my skill set.”

“Spencer.” You reached out without thinking, your fingers brushing against his wrist, stilling his fidgeting. “It was perfect.”

His pulse jumped under your touch.

For a moment, he just stared at you, lips parted, as if he was trying to memorize the way you looked right then—soft and glowing in the dim light of his apartment, your dress rumpled from dancing, your smile so fond it made his chest ache.

Then, in a rush of breath, the words tumbled out:

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Silence.

His brain screeched to a halt. Oh god. Oh no. That wasn’t—he hadn’t meant to say it like that. Not here, not now, not—

But you weren’t pulling away. You weren’t even breathing.

Your fingers tightened around his wrist, just barely, and your voice came out whisper-soft. “You… think?”

Spencer swallowed hard. There was no taking it back now.

“No,” he corrected, voice rough. “I know. I’ve known for a while.”

The confession hung between you, fragile and terrifying and real.

"You have?" you asked, practically breathless.

Spencer looked at you before his gaze dropped to his hands, suddenly nervous. His fingers twitched against yours like he wanted to pull away but couldn't bring himself to break contact.

"Yeah," he whispered. Then, with a shaky exhale: "It was... it was that night after the Harris case. When you stayed."

Your breath hitched. You remembered.

Three months ago. Spencer's apartment, 2 AM. Both of you still in crinkled shirts, too wired to sleep. You'd made terrible coffee in his tiny kitchen, hands trembling around the mugs, and when you'd finally sat beside him on the couch—when he'd started talking about the case in that broken voice—you hadn't thought. You'd just reached for him. Held him while his shoulders shook. And when he'd finally gone still, forehead pressed against your collarbone, neither of you had moved for hours.

"You let me fall apart," Spencer continued, voice cracking. "And then you put me back together like it was nothing."

Tears pricked at your eyes. "Spencer—"

"And before that," he rushed on, "when you memorized my coffee order after one try. Even when you keep trying to rearrange my books. When you defended my 'weird facts' to Morgan. When you—" His laugh was wet, uneven. "When you started leaving your favorite books annotated on my desk so I'd have to read them. As if I wouldn't have read anything you handed me."

A tear slipped down your cheek. You didn't wipe it away.

"You noticed that?"

"I notice everything about you." His thumb brushed your knuckles, feather-light. "The way you hum when you're concentrating. How you always steal my pens but never the blue ones because you know I prefer those. That little frown you get when—"

You kissed him.

It wasn't graceful. Your nose bumped his, your lashes still wet, your hands clutching his shirt like you were afraid he might disappear. He made a soft, broken noise against your lips when his fingers curled into your hair. His thumbs brushed the corners of your mouth as he kissed you back.

You pulled back just enough to whisper, "I love you too."

Spencer's breath shuddered out. He pressed his forehead to yours, eyes squeezed shut like he was trying not to cry. "Say it again?"

You laughed through your tears. "I love you, Spencer Reid. Every brilliant, ridiculous, beautiful part of you."

His arms wrapped around you, tight enough to bruise, and when he buried his face in your neck, you felt the damp warmth of his tears against your skin.

"Took you long enough," you teased weakly, running your fingers through his hair.

He huffed a laugh against your shoulder. "Says the woman who reorganized my bookshelves instead of just telling me."

"That was a declaration and you know it."

Spencer pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes red-rimmed but brighter than you'd ever seen them. "Well," he murmured, brushing a tear from your cheek with his thumb, "this is better."

And when he kissed you this time, there were no almosts. No maybes.

Just this—his hands in your hair, your laughter against his lips, and a lifetime of quiet, perfect moments waiting to unfold.

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

DPXDC prompt. Dead on main. Someone who knows you better than you know yourself.

Perhaps Fentons are not able to recognize their child, despite the fact that they hunt him day after day. But for childhood friends, who saw each other in absolutely ridiculous situations that parents are never allowed to know about, just one sneeze and a bored sigh is enough to realize that this weirdo fighting next to him is the same guy with whom you tasted soap and then stood looking at each other from different corners and giggling.

And so, the dialogue after the battle with the creatures of Infinite Realms, to which Constantine had to invite a potential ally not yet approved by the League:

Phantom: Well, mom always said you were bad news...But a crime lord, seriously? What happened to your plans to become a literature teacher? Red Hood: Hey! For Gotham, this is a very high-paying in-demand job. And I don't want to hear anything from Casper. At least I have my own business. What kind of part-time job do you have? Are you selling sheets to your buddies from this green goo? Phantom: This is ectoplasm. And they're not my friends, and anyway… Constantine: King Phantom, do you know Red Hood? Phantom: Do I know him? Ha! This street rat was Splinter of my beginnings until my family moved out of Gotham.

Red Hood: Wait, wait a minute. Phah...Holy shit. I thought I was the best example of what it means to be a disappointment to a family, but you beat me here. Oh, man, only you...The ghost king who is the son of the ghost hunters? Seriously? Hahah! I thought your rebellious phase ended the moment you told your father that you wanted to be an astronaut and not inherit the family business.

Danny*groans and covers his face with his hands*: My life is over.

Red Hood: Literally~ No, of course I always knew that your parents' disregard for safety in the laboratory would someday kill someone, but I didn't really expect this? Like, wow… Phantom: What makes you think it was an incident in the lab? I mean, there are so many possibilities around. It's ridiculous and…hah Red Hood: Dude, look me straight in the face and tell me I'm wrong if you dare. Phantom:…Fuck you, stupid bookworm. Red Hood: Stubborn nerd. Phantom: Red bucket! Red Hood: Pale toadstool! Nightwing: Um, can you guys please stop fighting? Red Hood: What are you talking about? This is how we always communicate. Phantom: Yeah! Well, in our defense, my sister always thought we both could use a therapist. Oh, man, he made me lose my train of thought. Where were we, J? Red Hood: Since when are you able to think? And I complimented your new hair and skin color. Phantom: Right, right… But, hey, not all of my parents' hypotheses really have a right to exist, and you know it! Hm, did I mention that you're built like a fridge and how does this leather jacket suit you? Red Hood: I believe not. And who's talking about your parents' work? You were an airhead when you were alive too to be honest. And as I see it, not much has changed. Why the hell are you still starting a fight with puns? Stop telling your opponent your position. This is terribly stupid! Phantom: Oh, please, these ghosts are definitely not a threat to me. What's wrong with having a little fun? The fact that you don't have weapons to handle something stronger than a blob ghost is your problem not mine, loser. But let's get back to our greetings. Red Hood: Sure. Then listen here…

~~~~~

Nightwing: Jay, why didn't you say right away that you knew Phantom? We've wasted so much time wondering if it's worth summoning him, and you just stood there and said nothing. Red Hood: Pfff…Because I didn't know that until today. He used to be human. And we haven't seen each other for a long time. So how was I to know that he would take such a ridiculous pseudonym? Nightwing: Then why the hell didn't you feel worried about teasing this creature? Red Hood: Why should I? It's just Danny.

~~~~

Tucker: Oh man, 84 murders, attempts to kill Joker and to much fights with Batman and Black Mask and… Danny: Yeah, yeah. It's all very interesting, but it's not what I asked you to find. Get to the point, Tucker. What I will wear to our dinner tonight depends on this. Tucker: Seriously? As far as I'm concerned, whether he's single or not is less important than all this shit. Aren't you afraid to show up at his house? Danny: I'm invited. And for that matter, I'm Amity Park's former public enemy number one. Which one of us should be worried, hah? So he's not dating anyone, right? Don't try to distract me. Tucker: Dude! Danny: Ugh, in my experience, when he acts like he's lost his mind, he usually has good reasons for it. And if not, given some of the events of my alternative future, I have no right to judge him, so…

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

so like. fnaf movie. after night five, all outside observers know is "this 30yo guy with severe anger issues + his 10yo mentally ill sister just walked out of his collapsing workplace with an unconscious, stabbed police officer, saying that someone inside the building tried to kill them but we can't get into the building to check. we went to their house and the aunt who was fighting for custody of the child is dead on the floor. the guy's career counselor is missing, as is his babysitter and her family and apparently they're all dead in the building we can't get into." and like. that all looks suspicious as FUCK however we know that in the few-weeks timeskip both mike and abby seem happy and fine so it's not like mike was arrested or anything. he seems to be more adjusted and is happily talking with her teacher so i doubt he's under stress of interrogation or anything

there's a lot of implications there that mike mighta pulled something but it's all circumstantial evidence at best. i'm sure in jane's autopsy and crime scene evidence they couldn't find any evidence of mike being the one to attack her, esp since it was probably just golden freddy bopping her in the head so they dont even have the weapon, and if she was strangled they'd be able to tell it wasn't by bare hands and they couldnt get prints or anyth. especially if golden freddy is a FULL ghost and thus left no trail.

mike would be smart enough to only tell the cops what they need to know without mentioning ghosts to sound crazy. abby might be more honest with the cops just bc of #autism but they'd be more likely to consider her talking about ghosts and imaginary friends as a child's way of coping, and they cant get anything out of her that would incriminate mike. ADD TO THAT that mike has wounds that are clearly defensive and is SUPER banged up and his wounds would likely match his story way better than evidence of him attacking anyone, AND that there's likely footage and witnesses of him being in the pharmacy and then driving to work (and thus not in the area to attack jane), AND if/when nessie wakes up she'll probably vouch for mike as well, and the cops dont have anything on him

though i DO wonder if they would have records of vanessa patching him up in the police outpost. if they do, that would also back up mike's story as it's 1) far away from the aunt jane crime scene, 2) confirms that he and vanessa were working together, so either she's complicit in Crime™ or his story is accurate and she was helping him save his sister. him going to defend her instead of calling backup is also consistent with his personality of getting triggered and jumping into action around child abduction, esp w/ his sibling in danger

considering what abby would probably say, AND the history of freddy's, it's likely that they would come to the conclusion of is "someone [likely the og kidnapper from the 80s] found out that the guy working at freddy's had a sister, kidnapped abby from her house while her aunt was babysitting and tried to recreate the crimes, his story of him and vanessa defending her and escaping vaguely checks out." whether or not mike would incriminate vanessa by mentioning her dad was the killer is up in the air, and there's obviously some huge holes that are left from nobody believing that there are ghosts in the building but that would probably be the eventual conclusion

but throwing that all away, it would be really, REALLY funny if the rest of the town, being really fuckin nosy and getting into the juiciest gossip they've had in decades, took one look at michael "big teddy bear falling asleep on himself" schmidt and said "there's no way. there's no way this guy murdered his aunt, stabbed an officer and then destroyed his own workplace, especially when he really needed that job and was on sleeping medication," and then turned around to look at abby "neurodivergent in the early 2000s (ableist af time period)" "vocally hates her aunt" "doesn't talk to anyone and claims that she can see ghosts" "vaguely possessive of her brother" "claims that she found the guy who hurt her friends and got him jumped by a cupcake(?)" schmidt and said "oh my god. it was her."

and nobody's gonna directly say anything but they've got cautious eyes on the situation and someone quietly slips mike a copy of the bad seed to see if he has a realization but instead he's just like "hey this book kinda reminds of that golden freddy kid lmao. wonder how he's doin" and then we smashcut to golden freddy kid poking springtrap with a stick

[aemondmybbg]

★ hotd bots masterlist

@ illumielle on character ai !! ᡣ𐭩

here you can find all my existing bots and a short description, i will update this page! 💌

ᯓ aemond targaryen: {14}

(1) — not his children? (niece!user {no dance!au} where they're married and he begins to believe the rumors that she conceived children from jace) (2) — his beloved niece (niece!user where he proposes to her during dinner in 1x07 episode) (3) — postwar marriage (niece!user the only surviving child of rhaenyra and daemon, in which he takes care of her and grooms her to build a trusting relationship and marries her when she grows up) (4) — forbidden feelings (aunt hightower!user and he just being in love with her, but afraid of this) (5) — after 'the pink dread' (niece!user consoles him after this joke) [platonic] (6) — in harrenhal (twin-sister wife!user where she pregnant and afraid of that rhaenyra captured king's landing) (7) — the only queen (lannister-wife!user who wants to be a queen and he does everything for her) [r] (8) — his strong girl (niece!user after dinner scene when he calls her and her brothers bastards) (9) — street of silk (niece!user where he finds her there after aegon took her to the street of silk) (10) — get his attention (baratheon!user that daughter of borros whom he chose as his wife) (11) — fear of closeness (wife!user {u can choose her house if you like} where he's afraid of s3x because aegon took him to a brothel when he was thirteen) (12) — war trophy (strong!user who is the legitimate daughter of harwin and aemond takes her to his bed after the capture of harrenhal) (13) — trying to be a good father (niece!user he cheated on her with alys rivers and after the war he tries to take care of their children) (14) — father for the first time (niece!user where they become parents for the first time and he worries about whether he will be a good father)

ᯓ aegon ii targaryen: {10}

(1) — king wants to see you in his chambers (niece!user after the 'dance of the dragons' trying to have a child) (2) — burning body and heart (wife!user stays with him after rooks' rest) [r] (3) — seeks comfort (wh0re!user he just comes to a brothel and for the first time he is looking not for s3x but for consolation) (4) — may become a father (aemonds wife!user where aegon becomes a father to her children after news of aemond's affair with alys rivers is revealed) (5) — takes you to the street of silk (niece!user where he takes her to a brothel to anger rhaenyra) (6) — newborn (niece!user where they meet their first child) (7) — his rhaenys (sister!user who was going to become a septa, but he wants to take her as his second wife because he always wanted only her) (8) — after usurpation (niece!user where he visits her with their son after the usurpation) [r] (9) — blood & cheese (niece!user comes to his chambers with their daughter after the murder and finds him in bed with her lady-in-waiting) (10) — different twins (twin-sister-wife!user where they are complete opposites but he wants to find a common language with her) [r]

ᯓ daemon targaryen: {6} (1) — won't allow it (sister!user where she is engaged to viserys, and daemon takes her to a brothel to tarnish her honor and take her as his wife) (2) — teacher's pet (stepdaughter!user where he no longer finds rhaenyra interesting or attractive, and his attention shifts entirely to her eldest daughter) [r] (3) — he regrets it (niece!user who accidentally became pregnant by him, but to hide it she was married to otto hightower) (4) — late visit (hightower!user which otto sends to the daemon after laena's death so that she can console him) (5) — obvious things (sister!user who is married to viserys, but her children are actually from daemon and they keep it a secret) [r] (6) — queen wants to see the newborn (sister!user where they meet their child and alicent wants to see him) [r]

ᯓ jacaerys velaryon: {2} (1) — solace (sister!user where they both find solace in each other after luke's death) (2) — one of those dragon seeds (bastard!user where he's just still grumbling about bastards riding dragons)

ᯓ rhaenyra targaryen: {2} (1) — she likes you more than your husband (harwins wife!user who has an affair with rhaenyra) [wlw] (2) — something she will never forgive herself for (daughter!user who is aegon's wife and lost her child during blood & cheese and rhaenyra tries to comfort her after all that) [platonic]

ᯓ alicent hightower: {1} (1) — her only child (daughter!user who looks exactly like her, and alicent has the strongest connection with her) [platonic]

ᯓ daeron targaryen: {1} (1) — reunion (sister!user where they are reunited on the battlefield after a long separation) [r]

ᯓ helaena targaryen: {1} (1) — doesn't want to fly into battle (lannister!user calms her down after aemond's attack) [r, wlw]

my requests are still open and i am happy to receive them ⭑.ᐟ

i didn't leave any links, but again you can find my profile and all these bots there! and if you need a specific link send me a message!

[best-of-yandere]

Mafia AU with platonic yandere Superfam

NO MINORS 18+ ONLY

TW: mentioned death (human & animal), non-sexual breastfeeding mention, surveillance, various "light" punishments mention, slight infantilization, platonic yandere

It starts with Clark and Lois deciding to have another child. They have Jon, and Connor, of course, but they miss having a baby in their arms.

As soon as they hold you in their arms at the hospital, they're in love. It's different with you; it only takes a single coo for them to be wrapped around your chubby little fingers.

When they bring you home, you quickly win the hearts of your siblings. Fights have been started between them over who's your favorite.

You never sleep alone. As a baby, Clark and Lois keep you in their arms at night. When you grow older, your siblings are allowed to have you with them at night. A schedule is quickly devised over who gets you what nights. You do have your own room... you're just never in it.

As you grow older, it becomes apparent you're not suited for the "family business". You still cry over a bird hitting the window; insisting on nursing it back to health, only to become inconsolable when it dies.

They're ok with that. What they do is dangerous, and you're too precious to them to be put in harms way. They decide to keep the truth of what they do from you, telling you they're both reporters to explain their long hours and traveling.

You grow up sheltered, a mafia princess with no idea you are. You're not allowed to leave the compound, but you're given everything you want... except freedom. It wears on you, the lack of freedom and personal space. One of the family is always around you, and when they're not, trusted bodyguards follow you around. You beg off to your room to get at least a little alone time, unaware of the cameras and microphones lacing your room.

But they couldn't keep the truth from you forever. One day, you see Connor killing a grunt, and sweet, sheltered you runs in fright. You don't even make it to the compound's front door. Having seen you trying to escape, Jon is quick to grab you and carry you back inside. You cry, trying to tell him what Connor did, how you both have to get out of there; it breaks his heart to see you so scared! He'll take you to the family room, shushing your cries and wiping away your tears, while he waits for the rest of the family to arrive.

When they do, there's no explaining it away. They come clean, at least about their real careers. You can't accept it; your loving family; murderers, criminals? When you eventually you wear yourself out, calmed down from the exhaustion, Clark and Lois tell you that nothing has to change. They're still your family who loves you very much and would do anything for you.

You're already restricted from business areas of the compound and under heavy surveillance, so the only major changes to your life is them taking away your access to electronics so you can't ask for help. That, and Connor's newfound clingyness. He wants so badly to be your beloved, cool older brother again, that he's constantly with you, trying to get you engaged in activities with him. He'll sneak you video games and junk food to try to get in your good graces again, so things can go back to how they used to be.

Lashing out at them due to your circumstances is a good way to get punished. They'd never lay a hand on you, but they're not afraid to show you just how much freedom you've been afforded until now.

An escape attempt will earn you an escort in the bathroom and shower. Trying to hurt them will put cuffed mittens on your hands. Trying to hurt yourself will get you sedated.

Stars forbid you try a hunger strike; Lois is more than willing to take your food into her own hands. She'll start breastfeeding you again, sedating you, so you'll be compliant. Once she does, though, even if you agree to start eating again, she'll still insist on feeding you herself, treating you like a baby. She'll cut up your food and spoonfeed you each bite, taking turns with Clark for each meal time. They both missed feeling so close to you in this way, and in her and the family's eyes, there's really no reason for you to grow up.

Not when they're always going to be there to take care of you - even if you don't want them too. You may not have freedom, privacy, or bodily autonomy, but you have your family. Forever and ever and ever...