#I hc that jazz and danny both drive like maniacs but have never gotten into an accident in their lives

[demonic0angel]

Jack and Maddie try to introduce their girlfriend Talia to living like a normal person. Of course, they're both insane, so this has mixed results.

“So… you have no servants?” Talia asked, trailing a finger along the edge of a cabinet and then pulling away to look at the dust that accumulated, an eyebrow rising on her face. “How do you keep things clean?”

“We have Jazz and Danny do them as chores,” Maddie said with a smile. “It teaches children responsibility, discipline, and necessary life skills.”

Talia nodded slowly. “I see.”

Jack pulled Talia via a hand to her waist as he also said cheerfully, “We also teach them how to clean up their weapons and any accidents! This way, they’ll know what to do if they kill a ghost!”

Both of Talia’s eyebrows rose and she looked at Maddie, who pressed against her other side. “Is that normal? Teaching children to clean up after their killings?”

“‘Killings’ sound so illegal,” Maddie chided. “We call it exterminations. And of course! Any child should know how to clean up after an accident they made!”

Talia nodded to herself again, muttering, “I knew Bruce was wrong…” she looked at her two lovers and asked, “What else do you two teach your children?”

“We teach them a variety of martial arts, weaponry, machinery, and much more! It’s important that they know how to defend themselves if a ghost attacks them! Jazz was able to learn almost every single weapon we have in our arsenal since she was 5! Danny knows over 22 forms of martial arts and he’s still learning. You should’ve seen it when he was young,” Maddie sniffed. “He used to try and fail to flip Jack over and now he’s kicking his father in the face!”

Jack also sniffled, wiping away a tear. “I’m so proud!”

Talia beamed. She loved how proud her partners were of their children’s fighting prowess. After all, she felt the same way. “I agree. My dear son is also the same. He learned since he was very young and now he is quite proficient with a sword. What weapons do you two teach?”

“Everything!” Jack grinned. “Staffs, swords, guns, ribbons, fans, frying pans, waffle irons, a beach toy— you name it! I can promise you that Jazz and Danny will be the best ghost exterminators in the world when they’re older!”

Talia seemed to almost swell with delight. For once, her cold and haughty demeanor broke as she smiled brightly. “So you agree? That teaching your children to be the strongest is the ultimate life goal?”

Maddie and Jack shared a look and then nodded at Talia in agreement. “But of course,” Jack said, trying to sound wise, “It’s also important that they learn to have fun! That’s why we let them drive the car whenever we go out exterminating for ghosts! And we also make sure that they bond with others and have friends— that way, more people can be on the watch out for ghosts and help us hunt them down!”

Talia smiled. “I will take your advice in mind. Oh, it would be wonderful if my beloved son could meet you too. He’s only learned the basics: over 10 forms of martial arts, several swords, a mastery of basic melee weapons, and he knows how to use a staff, but I believe that your training can join our families together and make our children even stronger!”

Maddie blushed bright red. “Oh, Tally!” She cooed and then drew in their girlfriend for a kiss.

Jack beamed and said, “I can’t wait for our kids to meet yours! We can be one big, happy, normal family!”

From a distance, Jazz and Damian shared a bewildered and almost frightened look.

How on earth did their parents find someone who was almost as crazy as them….??

And how on earth did they all share the same murderous braincell??