#they're all fucking alchemists

[baekuras]

i am currently reading up on alchemy and man...a lot of fantasy systems that at least i know of are either directly using it or taking parts from it

a lot more makes sense now tho

[silverware-is-interesting]

some more ocs because i don't really have anything that i can post

i've been trying to do some animatics and i MIGHT have a kinda big commitment to an animatic so i might not post much

so, uh, if you wanna see one of those 3 animatics of my ocs i have made send an ask and i'll show one (2 of 'em are memes and one is 11 seconds of related to one of my oc's storys)

not to say i won't post but just incase i DO end up not posting, that's why

[shanastoryteller]

Happy Pride! Something FMA or Untamed?

continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

While Eden genuinely does want to catch the serial killer murdering innocent young women, her plan does have a secondary motivation.

She's getting antsy.

They don't usually linger this long in Central. Mustang is clearly punishing her for not coming to report in person the last two years by having her spend several months hanging around doing fuck-all.

Well, okay, she's actually getting a lot genuinely useful research done, and of course she's very grateful for the time spent making friends with Catherine. But she doesn't exactly love Al stomping around where anyone could figure out he's hollow, and while Mustang and his crew have so far been too stupid to figure out she's a girl, the longer they're here the more opportunities they have to catch a clue.

Not only does hunting a serial killer take her mind off things, but if she's successful in catching him, that will get everyone paying attention to her. And since Mustang's whole use for her is for her to be so distracting that no one pays attention to him, it will then become in his best interest to send her as far away from him as possible.

The phone rings and she bounces off her bed to pick up. She's never bothered to requisition a phone for her dorm before, preferring one less way for anyone at the office to get ahold of her. If they needed her that badly, they could send someone. Besides, the damn things are always tapped anyway. Catherine, however, had taken issue with this.

So far she's the only one Ed's given this number, but eventually the notice will get to Mustang's desk and then she'll never know peace.

"Hey," she says,

"You're taking me out on a date tonight," she says. "Show up at seven."

Her lips twitch up. "Alex bothering you again?" The rumors of Catherine dating the Fullmetal Alchemist are doing wonders for her social status, but apparently Armstrong keeps bursting into tears about their star crossed romance, what with Ed on a mission to restore Alphonse's body over everything else.

Fortunately, this ruse also provides Catherine with the perfect excuse to leave with Ed, rather than having to sneak around with Eden.

"I really can't be expected to deal with this," she says crossly. "Mama is being no help at all. Don't be late."

"Yes ma'am," she says, but just receives the dial tone in reply.

[cupcakesmoothie]

I did all three backstories for Touchstarved (I have 12 hours on this thing and it's only the demo)

Kuras and Vere don't seem to have red options, but Vere does have a secret ending and Kuras... I don't know, holds you for a bit longer?

For Mhin, it really is just picking The Alchemist backstory. You can call them short or whatever and you'll still get it.

For Leander, you have to take the flowers and keep touching him. It's okay if you hold back the first time even.

For Ais, you gotta tell him fuck you and pet the soulless, and after that red option pretty much all yours.

Differences I found between the three backstories:

It is pretty much like how they tell you, Oracle gets premonitions, Hound has experience with people and survival, and Alchemist has knowledge about magic and science, so there's different things you find out with each one.

The Alchemist:

I may be a little bit biased, but think The Alchemist is the most informative (It's also the first one I picked). There's the expected info of noticing that Vere's collar is enchanted, or knowing about how strong Leander really is when it comes to magic, but it's got the added bonus of MC's mentor having been in the Senobium in the past.

Compared to the others, The Alchemist is more familiar with Senobium, albeit through word of mouth. It's interesting how many times the MC says something similar to "I didn't know the Senobium did that." It calls into question whether MC's teacher was lying, or more interestingly (and what I think might be the case), the Senobium has changed a lot recently. It's talked about, even without the Alchemist backstory, that the Senobium used to be somewhere you could go to for help, but now most of the characters you meet do not like the Senobium, so what changed?

The Hound:

The Hound (the least popular option, apparently) was pretty fun. The Hound notices more about Ais, specifically that he's very suited to be a leader, and that the number of scars he has (one) seems suspicious for his temperament (or "how seasoned he acts", as the MC puts it).

One thing that I found very fun was doing Mhin's route as the Hound. They're somewhat able to keep up! They can (or tried to) recognize tells, and noted that Mhin was one of the few people who was able to sneak up on them. They also weren't sure how Vere managed to get their key. They were also prepared to steal to survive.

The Oracle:

While The Hound notices physical things, the Oracle notices... how do you say, otherworldly things. The Seaspring seems to be hiding a lot (of course it is), but the MC notices a heartbeat. A presence. They feel something from Ais. The name Ocudeus means something, they can feel it. They feel like they can see Ais' tattoo move.

Also, the MC feels something from Mhin and Kuras (in his clinic at least), which is interesting!

If I had to decide which love interest was better with which backstory...

Vere: The fact that the Alchemist thought that they could tell what enchantments were on his collar if only they could touch it feels promising! And both their connections (though I mean connection in the loosest term for MC here) to the Senobium makes it feel like you might very well find something.

The Hound might be one of the few who can actually survive this guy if I'm gonna be honest. (I mean you can still get killed by him but. You know.)

Ais: The Oracle's sixth sense makes going to the Seaspring a lot more interesting compared to the others, and the way they can feel something from Ais is very cool.

The Hound can tell his character better than the others, and I wonder how that will come into play later on.

Kuras: The Alchemist knows their way around spell-crafting and alchemy (When I picked this I wondered if they would be able to help Kuras around the clinic, which doesn't happen, but hey it might).

The Oracle seems to also feel something from him.

Mhin: First things first, their red option literally requires you to have the Alchemist backstory. Mhin's precision is noticed by the other MCs sure, but not to that detail.

Watching the Hound observe where they could be was so fun to watch. It feels like this MC will be able to keep up.

The Oracle feels something from Mhin, something inhuman.

Leander: The Alchemist was able to tell that the flash of magic was a barrier spell, and that most magic (or at least the ones they're familiar with) uses an incantation or spell circle. His didn't.

But either way, there will be things to find no matter the backstory you choose, and all of the character's stories are intertwined, so don't let this dissuade you from a specific backstory! There will always be things to find, you just need to look.

Extra: I found it pretty cool how each MC has a different way of knowing what a Groupmind is. Story-wise this makes sense of course, but each of their reactions to it are slightly different, from I heard this from rumours of people in cults (Hound), to I used to be told I could put people in a groupmind (Oracle), to legends suggest it was possible with a strong enough catalyst but it's never been done before (Alchemist).

Also, it's interesting to know what they each think of surroundings (specifically the Amaryllis district). They all have different opinions from I used to be told bizarre things about this place and now I kinda get it (Alchemist), to it's not that different from the place I grew up in (Hound), to it's VERY different from where I grew up in (Oracle).

And if I'm not mistaken, the reason Vere gives for your desperation is different for all of them!

You can find gameplay from me on my Youtube channel, or watch me getting all the red options and secret ending here:

I didn't read it out loud cause my mic sorta sucks and sometimes it peaks and gets a bit shrill. Also you see how my mouse moves sometimes? It means I'm screaming. I don't think I'd have been able to keep calm enough for this. Also my reading kinda sucks anyway hope you like it lol

[stackslip]

the aftermath of scar's first attack on the elrics has a markedly different tone in 03 and mangahood and ive seen some mangahood fans says it's an example of why they dislike 03 over manga/brotherhood—in 03, the brothers are very clearly closed off from the rest of the mustang gang and reaffirm their own strong bond to each other above all, not trusting the adult military members; whereas in mangahood there IS a moment of complicity and relaxation with the mustang gang for coming to rescue them, and a lot of people cite it as part of their endearment for mangahood—the elrics aren't alone, and they learn to trust and love other people, including the military adults who have their best interests in mind.

difference in taste asides, i think that this is forgetting a crucial element of the previous eps and why exactly 03 ed and al react the way they do. unlike mangahood, where scar just appears as a demonic and horrific threat without much context except that he's from ishbal, in 03 the elrics learn about ishbal and the military's atrocities there right before confronting scar. they're told firsthand that it wasnt the heroic military action they'd been told, but a savage genocide that their friends in the military actively partook in! ed and al have a whole conversation about whether scar is justified before ever confronting him, they learn of his losses, and al.... actively believes that scar IS justified, and that were al in scar's shoes he too might snap this way. scar's actions are immediately recontextualized to the viewer before we see him attack our protagonists, a great amount of sympathy is given to him by the narrative and by alphonse. and not only do the brothers have to suddenly contend with how their plucky military colleagues have aided in genocide, and that they have been actively lied to by the military, but then ed gets the bomb dropped on him that mustang killed winry's parents. his superior officer and the guy leading the plucky military crew is directly responsible for the suffering of their close friend!

so like, between this, scar almost killing ed but showing al certain empathy and promising edward he won't harm his brother, having to swallow that not only is the military is far worse an institution than either the brothers suspected but that the people cheerfully teasing them and showing concern for their safety have been active participants in unbelievable levels of suffering (including the suffering of an amestrian girl they DO know)..... yeah, of course al and ed end up being far more closed off to the mustang gang after scar's attack! ed didnt just almost die and lose his arm, he has to suddenly contend with very ugly truths and how much mustang might have been hiding from him til now. no wonder they reaffirm their bond to each other—how do you trust these people when they're still in the military after being ordered to murder innocent people and the help lie that it was a simple and necessary military operation? ed at this point is still somewhat stuck in his "well Equivalent Exchange means the world is fair and also i got some deep racist issues embedded in me, so surely the military didnt commit genocide for no good reason right?" but like.... he's still swallowing the pill that he was lied to, that mustang murdered winry's parents on direct orders from the military, that his becoming a state alchemist really was selling his soul to the devil. and al is coping with his own mortality and body, and with how what he would have done had he been scar, how fucked the entire situation is.

honestly it's a much better take on scar imo but it's also yet another example of how 03 is bitingly critical of not only the amestrian military as an institution, but of the people who willingly participate in it. there's no neat separation of the good military heroes and the evil military dogs—once you join the amestrian military you ARE their dog. you've signed away your soul. you're an active participant in their crimes, unless you leave and actively begin opposing them. scar pointed out himself he would have let ed live had ed quit the military earlier! he's only interested in going after the people who have been actively participating in amestris's military atrocities. and yeah it does mean that the mustang crew in 03 is not the lovable goof squad or Found Family people care about in mangahood, but tbh 03 is just fundamentally uninterested in these kinds of dynamics at all.

i think it's ok to have different taste and say, well, i need/want a crew of lovable goofs and found family to enjoy fma as a whole! but i think it's completely unfair to criticise 03 for saying that your favourite war criminals are.... war criminals, and that the teenage protagonists' realisation of the extent of their crimes should not at all affect their dynamic with the crew.

[kedsandtubesocks]

this high of you & me

Lucien Flores x F!Reader

summary: Lucien Flores is your weed dealer and you think that’s about it

warnings/tags: 18+ MDNI. dealer!Lucien AU, drug use and discussion, shotgunning, sweet giggly moments, mentions of unspecified age gap (reader’s age is not mentioned but Lucien is older) reader and Lucien under the influence but he’s still a consent king, one use of ‘good girl,’ light making out

word count: 1.4k

a/n: I wrote this in a possessed fever after that clip & I know this might not reflect his personality once the movie comes out but I just had to I’m sorry, thank you to @lowlights & @tightjeansjavi for letting me scream about this and if you decide to read this - know I’m thanking you a million times

His house is an eclectic mess.

There’s a framed photo of Gustav Klmit’s ‘The Kiss’ beside a black light poster of a tiger. His awful leather black couch screams of a bachelor refusing to grow up.

“All I have to drink is bad tap water, ginger ale, or a mini grey goose sample.” Lucien yells from his kitchen.

“Uh, the ginger ale is fine.” You answer back.

This is the first time you’ve ever been alone with him.

Normally you’ve only experienced him with your best friend and his boyfriend. They’re the ones, through a friend of a friend, who introduced you to Lucien.

That’s how he became your dealer.

Now as you try to seem busy, you scan the book shelves in his living room.

There are many things that catch your eye -

The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo, a very abstract but suggestively sexual mini sculpture of two beings entangled in a type of wave like motion, a clear quartz crystal and a cute elephant figurine.

The man known as Lucien Flores is no short close to a chaotic puff of smoke you think you’re never meant to catch.

Behind you, you hear him rearranging things on his coffee table.

“You gonna joint me, or not?”

His pun makes you snort.

On the glass coffee table sits your drink among a cluttered collection of things.

“You asked for the usual right?” He mutters preparing everything like someone out a check out counter.

“Yeah, but I can go after you give me the- ”

“No, no it’s all good.” He reassures quickly, cutting you off. “I got nothing planned and company is always nice.”

He packages up the weed in the typical baggies he uses. This time they're holographic blue, almost matching his charming but strange vibes in a strange way.

“What happened to the dragon ball z themed bags you had?” You ask jokingly.

“Ran out.” He pouts and you grin.

After separating and packing up everything, he moves to start grinding the weed. Then with a click on his remote his stereo flows to life.

Frank Ocean’s ‘Pink + White’ begins playing and illuminates the room.

Small talk comes. Lucien asks about how work is going, any new shows you’ve gotten into.

He’s charming, like a bizzare off highway tourist attraction you can’t seem to leave.

“No need to sit on the floor. Come on. Spots open right here.” Lucien grins patting the couch beside him.

“Your couch is a pain, hate how it sticks to me.” You reply with a scrunch up face.

“Maybe I want you to keep sticking to it?” He offers light and you roll your eyes.

Being a notorious flirt, you try not to fall under his sweet words spell.

You’re about to make a quip back until you see him yank out a fuzzy blanket and spread it across the couch.

“What a gentleman.” You dryly smirk and Lucien shrugs.

But you rise up to sit besides him, close but not comfortably so.

“How much extra is this gonna cost me hm?” You muse watching him pack the bowl.

“Don’t you know the old saying, pretty babes don’t pay?” Lucien remarks so effortlessly.

Your throat gets a bit dry and you’re thankful for the ginger ale wetting your lips.

The lovely glass pipe, swirled with so many unique colors like the silk button up shirts Lucien wears, is handed to you.

“You first.” Lucien grins.

He even lights it for you, a modern day chivalrous knight in his own fucked up unique way.

The first inhale is always a favorite of yours. The smoke fills you, tickles your senses. But you can’t help but cough a bit.

“That’s the good stuff, huh baby?”

The phrasing and how smug his voice purrs out is dangerous.

“It’s one of the new strands I’ve been wanting to try. S’called ‘girl scout cookie.’ Pretty sweet name huh? But kinda makes me wish I could eat some right about now, ya know.” Lucien rambles as you hand the pipe back to him.

You at least appreciate how talkative and alluring he is. Between passing the pipe back and forth to him, you’re pulled into discussions about aliens, music and then, YouTube videos.

“No,” you giggle. “You gotta see this one.”

“If it’s another sad cat video I’m gonna cry and kick you out.” He pouts and you’re overcome with the urge to lean forward and kiss the furrow in between his brows.

You can’t deny how handsome he is. Like, ridiculously so. You know he’s older but there’s a youthfulness to him that’s reassuring. Like his spirit will always stay free. But you know that also seems dangerous after hearing about the list of exes he had from your best friend’s friend.

So very cautiously you tread into this new territory, whatever it is.

You lean closer, hold your phone up and show him your favorite go to funny video.

You can’t even stop the giggles. You wanna blame the weed, but it’s so hard not to laugh even without it. You’re overcome with glee and lean against Lucien’s shoulder. His shoulders shake and you hear the most adorable twinkling giggle.

He’s laughing.

“See!” You urge. “Told you it’s funny!”

“It’s not that! It’s you! You’re making me laugh.” He wheezes out and your heart flutters.

“Then I’ll stop laughing so you can stop laughing and watch!” You reply back determined.

So pressing your lips together, you rewind the video. You and him stay silent. Or you try to. Your lips twitch so terrible wanting to break.

Then Lucien’s shoulders shake again. In seconds you’re both busting out laughing. Your poor phone is forgotten.

This time he howls with an infectious joy and you feel it in your gut, in your bones.

“You weren’t supposed to laugh!” You chide him through the giggles.

“You weren’t either!” He cackles.

You realize you’re practically draped against him, and Lucien even fully leans back into you.

The smoke, the drug, coats everything in a smokey soft haze and with the high creeping its way into your mind, a molteness seeps into you

Lucien smells so good too, clean, cozy, but also like a cologne you wish you could pinpoint.

“Thanks, it’s dolce and gabbana.” Lucien replies.

Your face ignites in flames realizing you must have spoken your thoughts out loud.

You’re about to scramble out from this mess when you peer up and find Lucien staring. His earth soil eyes, softly dusted with a rosy color, hazily watch you.

“Y’smell good too.” He mumbles back.

“Thanks, it’s my fabric softener.” You tell him.

Lucien busts out laughing, a bright firework of a thing and you once again get caught up in how wildly warm he is.

Shaking his head he shifts to grab the pipe.

But his hand slides to rest against your thigh, like it’s a small way of saying don’t move, don’t leave.

And you don’t.

“You wanna try something fun?” He offers.

“Sure.” You don’t know what you might have just agreed too.

Lucien maneuvers, slides his large warm hand to your face and your heart stops. He tilts your head towards him and his thumb softly rubs against you.

“You trust me?”

The soft lull of Frank Ocean continues playing in the background softening this world around you.

You don’t even know if this man has a middle name or not, but you know him enough, or mainly, find yourself wanting to melt more into him.

So you nod quietly.

“Good girl, just keep your mouth open.”

That line takes your breath away.

You have an idea of what’s coming, but even with that, you crumble.

Lucien inhales from the pipe, filling his mouth with smoke. In a blur he moves. It’s like you blink and he’s all around you.

His hand on your face, his body pressed up flush against you and then, his face slowly moving towards you.

With his lips open, he breathes the smoke into your waiting mouth and your eyes shut in bliss. His lips graze against yours, a tease.

You inhale on instinct. Yet your hands move on their own, possessed, to run against his warm broad chest.

Once the smoke is in your mouth and you hold it in, allowing this mixture of the smoke and him to consume you. You also don’t miss the way Lucien himself breathes out.

Then before you can close your mouth, he lets his tongue gently swipe at your top lip, a kitten-like lick.

But it’s divine.

When a soft whine escapes you, Lucien effortlessly dives in to kiss you, cradling your face and steals your breath away again.

Making out with your dealer could probably be one of the dumbest decisions ever. But he’s a unique high of his own, one making you so dizzy, but you think you don't want it to end just yet.

So you melt into this smoke and into him.

And it’s otherworldly bliss.

[waitineedaname]

thinking about ed leading a relatively mundane life post-canon while still having all the connections he made during his time as a state alchemist is very funny to me, especially when thinking about his kids' perspectives. several high ranking military officials send them birthday gifts every year. they know four different guys who can turn into animals and this is mostly just a party trick for them. the emperor of xing is a family friend. they go to school and learn about the state alchemists and hear about the youngest state alchemist ever edward elric and they're like "you mean our fucking dad? our loser dad who can't do alchemy and consistently hits his thumb when using a hammer and has a rivalry with our pet chicken? you mean that edward elric?"

[fenrislorsrai]

Fandom Trumps Hate- Good Omens Offerings

this is a non-exhaustive list because there are so many Good Omens offerings. These are just Discord pals that were go "aaaaaaaaaaa what if nobody bids on me!?!?!?!"

well, then what if I give you the opposite problem and EVERYONE bids on you. AHAHAHAHAHA. Chaos for a good cause! my favorite!

Read the full offering for details. I've just given a super quick summary and additional fandoms they do if you're going "I hunger for CROSSOVER" plus said nice things about them. HAHAHAHA. YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT MY COMPLIMENTS NOW!

Get art or words as a gift for your favorite fandom for a charity donation! Fandom Trumps FAQ on how it all works. @fandomtrumpshate

Dorli-+ Legend of Zelda, Avatar The Last Airbender- illustration, banner, or book cover -- up to M rating - does trans/nb characters, f/f ships - absolutely the softest, squishiest looking character work. get the most huggable version of characters. (or squishy AND hot. ohohohoho)

SassishMoon- illustration up to E rating- does trans/nb characters, f/f ships -special note, I got art for Moon last year and it was fabulous. also have a collab coming out in a zine and it is HOT HOT HOT.

WarGoddess- + FullMetal Alchemist- Illustration up to E rating- interested in angst, unhappy endings, genderbending- lovely textures. beautiful skins tones and absolutely fabulous wings.

Sightkeeper- illustration up to E rating- option for comic page if bid goes high enough!- interested in trans & nonbinary characters- Delicious line work and delightful facial expressions. also: monsters

TheRavenMuse - 5-10K fic up to E rating- make it dark, make it weird! and by weird, has done Bentley/Bookshop smut. TIME FOR CRACK.

contritecactite- + Final Fantasy: VII, XII, XV, Ace Attorney 5-10K fic up to E OR 5K podfic of your work up to M rating- interested in trans & nonbinary character, F/F, polyships, and canon compliant/fill in the gap in canon type fics- go get you some RADIO omens. and Book Omens. writes very caring stuff... and sometimes caring is a good healing fuck.

accidentaldemon- under 5k up to E rating- interested in polyships, trans & nonbinary characters, and humans AUs- do you need some Crowley & Young Shadwell fic? AccidentalDemon has you covered.

TawnyOwl- 5-10K up to E rating- loves AUs where they meet and find they're perfect for each other in a new and special way.

SeedsofWinter +Our Flag Means Death + Venture Brothers- Fan Labor for up to E rating. (length depends on final bid value) Deep content editor. Goes way beyond the basic spelling and grammar check. This is a draft editor to help fill in missing scenes and fix pacing. Has run several zines as the editor! Interested in trans /nb characters, polyships, f/f, reader insert, unhappy endings, and RARE PAIRS.

Ngk_is_cool - under 5K up to T- TV or Book Omens! time for all those secondary character to shine! anything but a/c. especially interested in ace and queerplatonic relationships. do you want a fic with some footnotes like the book?

Shaninal- under 5K up to M rating- A/C in some canon complaint fluff and humor. OR beta read for 5-10K up to E rating for Good Omens, Percy Jackson, or Miraculous Lady Bug

EdosianOrchids- 3 options! 2 soft & fluffy up to 5K and one 5-10K hurt/comfort. TV or Book Omens. especially known for chronic pain, disability, and PTSD focused fics. Come and get some HEALING and comfort for the chronic issues. also does aspc fics.

HKBlack- 10-20K up to E rating. Interested in trans/nb characters. Love AUs with a happy ending. THERE WILL BE PUNS. SO MANY PUNS

This is only a partial sampling go see the whole Good Omens tag

and if you are have a gomens offering not listed here, feel free to add in reblogs! Let's give some charities some money!

[anonymous-dentist]

Part Three of the Catboy in the Village AU

Part One | Part Two

-

Cellbit has been in and out of several prisons in his life. He's no stranger to captivity, he knows how it works. He knows how the system works, and he's not expecting the queen to be any better than any of his previous wardens.

...Still. It's kind of nice to be given a cell with an actual bed in it. With bedsheets- silk, probably, they're soft. And a rug on the marble floor to keep the chill away. And bookshelves. With books in them. Interesting-looking books, too: mysteries, judging by the titles, and ones he didn't have access to back home due to Gato Kingdom customs laws.

But, like. Fuck the queen. She kidnapped him and his husband, she's currently working on kidnapping their children, and she doesn't seem keen to give Cellbit and Roier any chance to escape.

The cell- a bedroom, Roier had called it, but, really, it's a cell- doesn't have any windows. The door is unlocked, but there are two guards outside who are apparently supposed to follow Cellbit and-slash-or Roier wherever they go.

There are clothes in the wardrobe that are clearly recycled from some other member of Gato royalty. They're all finer than anything Cellbit has ever known, and he thinks he'd rather die than wear them.

Roier, though? He's not happy about being kidnapped, and he's even less happy about not having anything to protect himself and Cellbit with, but he seems happy enough about the 'lost prince' treatment that Cellbit's getting.

"When we escape, we're bringing the clothes with us," Roier decides on night two of their forced stay in the castle.

They're in bed, Roier wrapped protectively around Cellbit's back and holding him so tightly that Cellbit's ribs hurt. It's close to midnight, but neither of them can sleep, because how can they sleep when their kids are an entire kingdom away?

Cellbit quietly laughs. "Yeah? How?"

"You'll carry them."

"Oh, will I?"

"Yes, obviously. I have to have my arms free for fighting."

Roier's breath ghosts over the back of Cellbit's neck. It's warm, and Roier is warm, and the blankets are warm, and it all feels so cozy and yet so wrong. The bed is too nice. The bed is too big. The room is too big. Roier's clothes are too soft. It's too quiet, where is all the noise?

The entire time that Cellbit has been in the castle, these past two days, he has seen a handful of people: a few guards, a total of two servants, and, of course, the queen. But she's been too busy trying to rebuild her kingdom to bother with the men she's had kidnapped, and Cellbit hasn't seen much of her outside of the meals he and Roier are dragged to twice a day.

The queen is... interesting. She's a total piece of shit and Cellbit kind of hates her more than he can describe, but she refuses to be addressed by any of the usual titles; she keeps correcting her knights when they call her anything but 'Bagi', and she looks two seconds away from murder every time Cellbit calls her 'your highness'. She seems to actually care about her kingdom, which is a marked difference from her parents, and she spends all day locked in her study in the tallest of the castle's towers working on... queen stuff. Whatever it is she does, Cellbit doesn't know. He isn't royalty, he's an alchemist. This is all foreign to him.

"Who says we need to fight?" Cellbit asks. "Maybe they'll just... let us go when they figure out they've got the wrong Cellbit."

"Mm, maybe. Or, hear me out, I knock out a guard, steal their sword, and then I carry you out of here. Easy."

Cellbit imagines it. He smiles as his imaginary Roier spontaneously becomes shirtless mid-escape.

He snuggles back into his real shirtless husband's chest with a happy little trill. His trill becomes a proper purr as one of Roier's hands trails up and into Cellbit's hair, landing at the base of his ears and scratching lightly. His eyes slip shut, and his back arches, and he loves his husband so much! He's so sweet even when he's the victim of a kidnapping, he's literally the perfect man.

"Aww, gatinho," Roier coos. "You are the prince... of my heart."

Gods, that's cheesy.

Cellbit loves him.

"That... doesn't even make... sense..." Cellbit murmurs, voice obscured by his purring.

Roier sighs dramatically: "Fine, you're the king of my heart. Better?"

"Mmmmmmmm."

Roier chuckles fondly. "Mhmm, I see, yes, yes."

Cellbit bats a hand in the vague direction of Roier's face. He doesn't make contact, but that's fine. He'd rather die than hurt Roier, even playfully.

A kiss plants itself between Cellbit's ears. He melts, all thoughts evaporating outside of warm and Roier. Warmoier...

(The room doesn't have a window, so neither of them see the faint green light surrounding the castle.)

He's jerked back into his body as the entire castle shakes and rattles to the point of books falling off of their shelves. He's nearly tossed out of bed, only staying in bed thanks to Roier.

Cellbit immediately tries sitting up, but Roier pulls him back down with a hissed, "Be careful!"

"We'll be safer on the floor," Cellbit huffs. "Come on."

He drags Roier off of the bed and, together, they huddle beneath it clinging to each other.

"This sucks," Roier complains. He grips Cellbit's arm tightly, definitely not worried about the literal earthquake they're stuck in the middle of. "We just got comfortable!"

"We can get comfortable again," Cellbit assures him.

He feels it before he hears it. His entire body recoils upon instinct, his ears pressing down against his head just as an otherworldly wail echoes up from somewhere and burrows into his very bones.

"Are you sure?" Roier asks, wide-eyed. "What the fuck? Is this place haunted?"

The wailing continues. Roier has to let go of Cellbit so he can clap his hands over his ears. Cellbit covers his own ears, but it doesn't stop the chill in his bones, and it doesn't make the sick feeling growing in his stomach go away.

"I hope it is!" Cellbit replies, his voice near a shout from how loud the wailing is. "At least it would be interesting!"

Roier rolls his eyes. "Oh, at least!"

And then, just like that, the shaking stops. The wail cuts itself off with a sob, and then it's gone.

Cellbit looks at Roier. Roier looks at Cellbit.

Slowly, Cellbit lowers his hands from his ears, though his ears don't perk back up.

"You know," he says, "I don't think the queen told us everything when she kidnapped us."

"No shit," Roier grumbles. He moves his hands from his ears to Cellbit's hands, linking their fingers together; their hands are shaking from the adrenaline, but they seem to stabilize as soon as they're holding each other.

"I bet she doesn't even think I'm the prince," Cellbit continues. He looks down at his and Roier's joined hands. "I bet we're some kind of sacrifice to whatever spirit is haunting this castle."

"That's ridiculous," Roier scoffs. "I wouldn't be a sacrifice. You, yes, but me?"

He laughs as Cellbit untangles his fingers from Roier's and crawls out from under the bed. As he does so, Roier calls out to him and grabs his ankle and tries pulling him back under. Cellbit kicks at him, and Roier bites Cellbit's ankle, and Cellbit uses his leg to pull Roier out from under the bed, and they end up pressed against each other on the rug surrounded by fallen books laughing.

Roier, on top for the moment, leans down to kiss Cellbit.

That, of course, is when their cell's door slams open and the guards stationed outside come running in with alarmed expressions on their faces.

Cellbit groans and shoots the guards a dirty look.

"Do you mind?" he snaps.

At least the guards have the decency to look ashamed as they take in Cellbit and Roier's... position.

Roier huffs out a sigh and collapses onto Cellbit's chest, laying his head on its side on Cellbit's chest so he can glare at the guards properly.

"Can we help you?" Roier asks.

"Um," says one guard, clearly blushing and absolutely mortified. "Sorry. The prince has been requested in the queen's study. Uh. Sorry. We'll just..."

She and her fellow guard awkwardly bow, and then they start slowly backing out of the cell.

They aren't alarmed by the scattered books, Cellbit notices. No mention of the earthquake or the wailing, either. This is normal, then.

Hm.

Cellbit feigns a yawn. "Well, tell her majesty that both me and my husband would like to sleep after whatever the hell that was that woke us up. Whatever it is, it can wait until the morning."

The guards freeze. They go pale, look at each other, look back to Cellbit.

Roier lifts a hand and waves it dismissively towards them. "You heard the prince, go away."

Cellbit waits until the guards are gone before pushing Roier off of him and shooting him a halfhearted glare.

"'You heard the prince'?" he asks. "Really?"

Roier shrugs innocently. "It got them to leave. Now, get back here."

He growls playfully before pouncing back onto Cellbit. He frames Cellbit's face with his hands, and then he kisses him roughly. And then he kisses him softer after Cellbit mumbles something against his lips about being tired and wanting to get back into bed.

"You're so weak," Roier teases, lips moving against Cellbit's as he speaks.

"I'm weak... for you."

Cellbit laughs as Roier groans and tears himself away to go mope his way back into the bed. He's soon to follow, and he's immediately snatched back into Roier's arms and held captive once again.

This castle may be a very nice prison, but there's no better one than Roier's arms. It is simply the best, and Cellbit should know; it's the only prison he's never tried to escape from.

______________

To be continued...

[thelakesuite]

The Rusty Lake Story in Bitchass Baby Terms

this is ALL off the top of my head (and i haven't experienced like 10% of it maybe?) so i might be wrong but i don't care right now

the lake itself isn't, like, that well established 'cause it's a mystery game or something so we don't need full exposition. it's some deity-like thing as old as the mammoths (not canon) that eats time. or rather memories that are stored in lil cubes. and it gives its zookeepers immortality so they can keep feeding it. they call themselves the Rulers of the Lake but we all know the truth. 'immortality', or rather enlightenment, is represented by you becoming your fursona and living maybe an extra century. mr. owl's looking for a new heir pretty quick in the process but we'll get to that.

corrupted souls are kinda a byproduct of all this. truly the lake's farts. when a person dies horribly, when their memories get extracted wrong, or when the plot demands it, they become corrupted. corrupted souls still talk, and some of them are even sensible (like your mom oooooh), but generally they're jumpscare beasts or wet little puppies. sometimes both. yes you can get corrupted when you're enlightened, and right now it's the more likely outcome actually. there's a whole 'elixir of immortality' that gets harped on, where one drinker gets corrupted and the other gets enlightened, but that is literally only a thing for roots and a little bit of cave so don't worry about it too much. unless you're making dramatic fanart in which case leverage that shit.

cubes come up a lot in cube escape, believe it or not! black ones are bad memories, white ones are good memories, blue ones are connected to the past in a way that's somehow not a memory, gold ones are connected to the future, red ones only exist in my fangame that ellesian recently unearthed, and green ones are jello yum. also suck it anyone who told me pre-tpw the gold cube thing was unestablished. anyway. it was a big thing mr.'s owl and crow were working on, creating a golden cube (presumably to extend their own lives) as seen in cave, but then one just kinda appears in the past within when albert does electric jujitsu. jury is still out on that.

onto the actual narrative i think.

in paradise, you're mr. owl pre-owling (1790-something). the lake's current suckass servants are your family who tried to sacrifice you to it way back, but your mom took your place for mom reasons. now mom's corrupted and guiding you to... well, to get sacrificed for real this time. but with your powers combined (yes mr. owl was two people, no it is never addressed) you get enlightened and tell your family to fuck off 'cause you're building a hotel on that island now. you also get a tease in the secret ending that dale and laura will do a similar fusion dance to be the lake's next suckass. we've been waiting 6 years for that to happen.

in roots, two alchemist brothers get that elixir shit going (1860-1935). one of them becomes mr. crow, while the other becomes a playable character for a game. and corrupted. you rope your whole bloodline into this, harvesting their body parts (usually after they die from other means, but you totally caused most of their deaths) for a reincarnation ritual involving a magic seed (that also only exists for this game). this is where the best characters come from because rusty lake actually wanted to tell a story with this game. you reincarnate into a woman! don't think about the implications.

in samsara room, the inside scoop of reincarnation is fuckin' weird, dude (1935). the original was made before rusty lake began, so it's not truly part of the narrative, but it got folded in for the fifth anniversary.

in hotel, you do not get the backstory of the third bird man (1890ish). instead, you get to kill mr. owl's family again, but one-on-one as animal people. how did they become animal people? fuck you that's how! mr. owl probably did it on purpose to spite them with shit sandwiches and bullets to the brain. oh, also, there might be an evil twin of mr. rabbit that shows up later.

in arles, you're vincent van gogh. that's it. he's not relevant. but it is funny seing the death date of paul gauguin in the timeline docs.

we're talking about the past within later but the 'past' segment takes place around here. 1926 iirc?

in birthday, your parents get shot (1939). you're going to be an important detective, dale, but like right now you're getting traumatized. or rather you're experiencing that memory, then doing blue cube magic to fix it and have your grandpa shoot evil mr. rabbit instead. is your grandpa actually mr. crow? no. shut up about it now.

in underground blossom, your mom gets abducted (1935-1972 maybe). okay, well, not you. this is the laura backstory metaphor game but you're actually playing as the third bird man who is both her stepdad and her pet. and her grandpa albert takes her mom rose for his own nefarious reincarnation schemes maybe probably. rose is surprisingly okay with it but characters rarely put up a fight with the plot anyway. laura's a lonely kid, starts dating robert, picks up art to soothe her nightmares, gets murked, then reaches some kind of epiphany that we just train ride away from before finding out what actually happens. she's your daughter, damnit, you should support her transcendence. not enlightenment importantly. also, no, laura's life didn't literally happen at train stops, it's just a vehicle. not even a pun don't fucking laugh i see you snickering.

in seasons, you set up a really interesting plotline that gets utterly countered by everything that came after (1960's-80's). it's just laura time in there, and she uncorrupts herself, thank you very much. the series has been struggling with how laura gets her corrupted self to 1980-whatever, and so far only one other game's even taken place after 1972. and that game's the past within which also counters every other plotline. sigh. maybe we're not smart enough for these puzzle games. at least harvey's cute and bird-shaped. key point that's impossible to fuck up is that laura dies in 1972, and it's unclear whether it was a murder or suicide. that's why we get a detective.

in harvey's box and the lake, uh i don't know really (1969). these are early games that are basically spinoffs of seasons. they help with the overarching stuff but aren't much for the narrative at this point. also they suck

in case 23, dale starts investigating laura's death and gets wrapped up in the lake stuff (1972). it was supposed to be just another murder case, but he got too into it and it got too into him, so he gets teleported to the lake chapel and ferried off to. somewhere idk. he goes into an elevator that takes him down memory lane to the lake floor.

in the mill, mr. crow is really trying to clean house before dale gets here (1972). this is where laura gets her ass corrupted by mr. crow, and we find out how the lake eats memories or whatever. it's supposed to overlap with case 23 and it almost succeeds. whatever skrunk is still there is forgiveable, this was the flash era after all.

in theatre, dale learns about ripoff hinduism, goads a man into suicide, and abandons his darling toilet fetus son (1971). it's like birthday again, where this is a memory we're seeing, but that is a light distinction. robert kills himself at the bar, and we take his memories for legal reasons. there's some sixfold wheel we learn about that doesn't matter much.

in the cave, mr. crow still cleans house before dale gets to the Magic Memory Machine (1972). mr. owl's kinda sorta dying, and dale's been elected his son or something. gotta get his mindmeats. you read a textbook about cubes, pilot a submarine to the lakefloor, put dale and laura in a surrogate fusion dance machine, then give dale the golden cube it makes before sending him up the elevator again. hotel did imply something serious was gonna happen when he gets to the top, but that was eight years ago. the devs probably forgot and fell too in love with albert vanderboom in the meantime.

in the white door, robert unkills himself and gets wrong psychiatry (1972). as it turns out, mr. owl has a front business running a for-profit psych ward to extract totally good and healthy memories from people. this one is an actual factual spinoff but is kinda relevant for the greater rusty lake metropolitan area.

in paradox, fuuuuuuuck who knows maaaan, isn't it all just a metaphor? (1972). there's a consensus that none of the stuff that happens in paradox actually happens, and that it's all in dale's head while he's in the Magic Memory Machine from cave. even though there's five different endings, he kinda walks away at the end, which might be the worst ending of the lot. the information's solid though; mr. owl spells out the whole heir thing, there's bits of backstory for dale and laura everywhere. also the movie's sick.

in the past within, albert becomes a mechanical engineer for the sole purpose of making plot armor (1926/1984). yeah, remember that guy from roots? the voodoo murderer who got third-hand alchemy information to make up for his lack of pussy? yeah, he invented a time machine decades ago. and he enlisted his daughter to talk to her past/future self to grow him back to life in 1984. with a gold cube that he somehow got. and somehow his scar is genetically coded in him. and we don't see his wiggly lineart dick. what does he do in 1984? trap his daughter in a time loop then who the fuck knows. he's stuck in his jumpscare beast ways from being corrupted for so long. how did he get corrupted when he was literally buried in the ground and salvaged bones from? next game!

there's an ARG that i never saw a thing of because i hated it, best kept memory. from what i gathered, it was another front scheme for memory harvesting, except in the 2000's. does that mean it's enlightened dale/laura doing this one, since mr. owl presumably passed on the title then turned into a fish? i'd like to know too!

also, a chapter of underground blossom i haven't completed, and a paper-based game coming out within the next two years or whatever. i don't know how much they'll clear up.

toodles!

[batshieroglyphics]

Surprise self-rec time! Pick 3 of your favorite things you’ve written and share them here, then put this in the inbox (anonymously or not) of your fellow writers to spread the positivity and help celebrate already written fics 💞

I feel like this is a trick question, mostly because I am multi-fandom, and I tend towards favs per fandom, as opposed to favs of all time, lol So, uhhh, how about a fic from 3 diff fandoms that...I don't know I'd call them my 'fav', but they're the ones I'm most inclined/tempted to reread in that fandom on a whim.

For Fullmetal Alchemist, I'm going to say Colours in Your Eyes. It was a Big Bang piece, and I really, really loved how it turned out. Playing with soulmates is always interesting, but I loved the chance to fuck around with this one. I had a lot of fun playing with the ideas of cultural differences and how when you discovered your soulmate could change things. And I was just so, so happy with the ending. I think the last ending I adored as much as I did this one, was Reclaim. It just....hit that sweet spot.

Picking one for Final Fantasy VIII, lol, okay, that's...rough. I going to go with Noblesse Oblige, I think. I did so much work on developing the world in this fic, and building out original characters that were able to join as part of the main cast. It's also my only fic that really looks at how the events of canon might have unfolded in the following months. It was very much a labour of love, and I remain very proud of it.

I'm going to cheat, for Star Wars, actually, and pick a series: JasBen Save a Galaxy Far, Far Away. Because it has the healing and the happy ending that Obi-Wan—Ben— deserves. It's also got Jaster being an awesome and supported Mand'alor, and Tor not going batshit, and Xanatos getting the healing he deserves, and little baby!Obi-Wan being the cutest fucking thing. And it manages to be both pro-Jedi and pro-True Mandos, without shitting on either one, or shitting on the New Mandos (although it's pretty clear they're less than respected, oops), which is...such an achievement in this fandom, I am so proud of myself for it. I am sad that the clones aren't in it, but the series feels to me like healing and acceptance, and that's almost always going to be my go-to when I'm trolling my fic, looking for something to read.

[alexanderwales]

Pitchposting: Turn-Based Lovers

Time to set another idea free.

The title is taken from an article I read somewhere, and it fired up something in me, namely that I don't think I've ever seen "turn-based" be used in a piece of fiction, aside from maybe Erfworld.

The specific scene I had in my head is that there are two people waiting in line at the market to buy apples, standing on adjoining tiles, and due to some of the metaphysics of the world, this particular turn is taking a very long time. They get to talking, because there's fuck all to do — they've used their movement for the turn and anyway are waiting for the merchant to come back — and maybe they irritate each other a little, with some prickliness of the sort that's common in romances. He mistakes her for a washerwoman because she's not in her scholar's robes, she makes some remark about the brutish military not realizing that he's a naval officer.

After the long pause while something complicated was happening somewhere else in the world, they go their separate ways, but perhaps the sourness of their initial meeting feels like a loose thread that needs to be resolved. They had exchanged names and professions, enough to track each other down with a letter, if maybe not in person.

One apologetic letter that's maybe a bit too long gets a response that's also a bit too long, and perhaps personally revealing in a way that it wasn't meant to be.

They get to talking. Most of the book is done through letters, which is another way in which they're "turn-based". He's at sea, and there's a loneliness that comes with that. Eventually it's revealed that she's not the first he exchanged letters with, and that the other woman had fallen in love with someone else while he was away, the letters not enough for her.

Maybe I just want to write an epistolary novel and the turn-based thing does not figure into it at all, which would make this a Bad pitchpost.

Right now I'm thinking that the grand finale would be a big declaration of love where one of the two holds up the turn order of the entire world in order to profess all the ways they are meant for each other, which ties into their initial meeting at a marketplace. I don't know for certain that this is worth all the setup though.

(There are tons of interesting things that you can do in a work of prose fiction where everything is turn-based though. Imagine a battle sequence where your best friend has been mortally wounded and you're helpless to do anything about it because your healing magic takes three turns, so you're just watching him die? Or imagine a horror scene where you have done all the math and understand that it's helpless for four full turns before the monster kills you? Maybe we can have our scientist/alchemist running tons of experiments that take a great many turns to complete, which maps to waiting for the soldier/sailor's ship to return or whatever.)

[shanastoryteller]

happy valentines, can I request more of colonel ed? or anything else fullmetal alchemist

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

"I suppose we should have expected this," Breda says thoughtfully. "He is blonde."

Havoc scoffs and nearly swallows his cigarette. "So? I'm blonde. Hawkeye's blonde! The colonel's whole damn office is blonde!"

"Sciezka," Falman reminds them.

Havoc waves a dismissive hand, cigarette now safely held between his fingers. "Are the explosions not enough? The fires? The screaming? Now we're forced to endure this too!"

"He just comes by and talks to Mustang," Hawkeyes says calmy, glaring at his cigarette, but they're off base and it's after hours so she doesn't literally shoot it out his hand, which he appreciates. "You're overreacting.

"Overreacting?" he sputters.

"Hey!" shouts an unfortunately familiar voice. "Your boss is fucking our boss and it's really slowing down our productivity!"

Havoc whimpers. Furey, the traitor, waves them over. He's too nice of his own good and he's going to get them all killed.

"Shut up Russel," several people chorus at once as they shove a table next to theirs and pull over enough chairs to squeeze around.

"Missing some people?" Breda asks.

"Al and Winry have date night," Sciezka says, looking about as long suffering as Hawkeye.

"Same for Ed and the general," Khayal. "Your boy is interrupting important bonding time."

"You abandon us for a date every chance you get," Fletcher says.

"Well, yeah," Khayal shrugs. "Who wouldn't?"

Havoc blames Mustang for all of this.

[fluff-a-nutter]

Can I request that Gn!reader basically being varians personal tickle monster but reader gets stuck in one of varians goo traps and can't wiggle out so varian trys to help but realizes he can tickle them back 10x worse and he finds they're giggles the cutest thing in the world so he trys to tickle them more so they get into tickle fights now instead of reader tickling variants randomly

Hi there! Omg yes! That’s such a cute idea! Hope this is what you had in mind!

⚛️🧪⚗️⚛

You wandered into Varian’s lab, having found one of his books at their house. You had been planning to return it to Varian as a good friend would do. The only problem was that the lab was pitch black.

“Ugh, Varian turn on a light! Someone could trip and you're clumsy enough already- AAH!”

Whatever you were planning on saying next was cut off as you triggered one of Varian’s goo traps, and thus pinning you against the wall.

“Haha, yes my new trap works! Thanks Ruddi- Oh my gosh, Y/N! I’m so sorry I’ll get you out! Hang on!” As the lights flickered on, you were met with Varian’s sheepish grin.

This was a fairly normal occurrence in the lab. You walking into one of Varian’s experiments and ultimately becoming an unwitting test subject. You groaned and wriggled in your sticky trap and gave the alchemist an unimpressed look.

“Seriously? You could have warned me, Varian.”

Varian smiled shyly as he approached you.

“I know, I know. My bad. Let me get you down.”

“Much appreciated- h-hehehey! Watch where you poke!” You twisted awkwardly away as Varian’s fingers prodded your side as he attempted to peel the gunk off you. He grinned at you with mischievous intent. You knew that look all too well.

“Varian, just get me down!” You demanded, full well knowing he wasn’t going to.

“Oh no, Y/N. You aren’t going anywhere. I think it’s time for a little payback for all the times you’ve tickled me lately.”

“B-but I thought you liked it when I tickle you!” Varian snickers at your futile attempts to escape.

“Perhaps, but that doesn’t mean you get away with it.”

With that, Varian jabbed his fingers into your sides, eliciting a shriek.

“Aww, you’re so cute when you’re giggling, N/N! Keep it up! You’re gonna be here awhile.”

Combined with the tickling, Varian’s teasing was driving you mad. You should have known this day would come sooner rather than later. You just hadn’t expected Varian to be such a mean ler! Especially considering how he pretty much crumbled when roles were reversed.

“N-NO- ST-STAHAHAHA-PLEAHEA!” You were laughing to hard to even form a coherent sentence and when Varian dug into your tummy you lost all form of sanity and dissolved into giggles.

“Sorry, I don’t speak ticklish, Y/N. But if I had to guess, I’d say those absolutely precious giggles mean you’re enjoying yourself. Laugh if I’m correct.”

And laugh you did. You could barely breathe at that point and Varian seemed to notice that and slowly brought his tickling to a halt.

“Fuck…. You….” You breathed out through residual giggles. Varian smirked and rolled his eyes.

“Oh please, you know you enjoyed that. Now, let me get you down for real this time.”

After Varian let you down from the goo trap, you looked at him with a smirk.

“My turn.” You said. Before Varian could process that, you had tackled him and started tickling him mercilessly.

It was going to be a long day full of back and forth tickles, but you couldn’t complain.

And based on Varian’s shrieks of laughter when you attacked his tummy with raspberries, he couldn’t either.

⚛️🧪⚗️⚛

Alright, @elliethewitch I hope you enjoyed this! I also wrote this on my phone, so sorry for any typos lol. Thanks for the request! :3

[banes-favourite]

Wondering how many times gortash has injured himself while tinkering and just generally doing artificer things. Like, it's canonical that Gond, the god of inventions and stuff, limits how many people have access to runepowder(which is basically gunpowder) because artificers and alchemists kept blowing themselves up while messing with it. And gortash is even more insane and unhinged than most people are

Just imagine him accidentally exploding something and his guards come running to make sure he's okay only to see him covered in soot and his hair all messed up.

Maybe durge has given him inspiration for various things so he's created or attempted to create terrifying contraptions that just generally don't seem safe to even be in the room with

I had no idea Gond did that!! Makes sense tho, otherwise it's basically handing out atomic bombs like candy.

But my god is Gortash playing inventor sooo underrated. I know his politician persona is popular as it's seen more, but man's probably gets carried away and spends days in his workshop, tinkering and creating and getting his hands dirty. He has burly arms purely from lifting steels like they're dumbells. His nails are black not cause he paints them, it's just oil from his machines. I genuinely see it as the only time he gets to decompress and let his mind really wander, to the point he needs to be reminded to do basic survival tasks. And yeah, his hands are super calloused and scratched from tinkering days on end, but that's what his gauntlets are for. Also the image of him all blown up like Junkrat from overwatch is so fucking funny someone draw that pls

Also, his ideas?? Yeah dude they're absolutely insane. This is the guy that thought of putting brains in giant robots and gave them giant swords. He's created bombs, contraptions, complicated traps, and the most torturous machines, inspired by Durge ofc. And yeah, most of them fail, but the ones that do succeed are absolutely vicious. He cuts people open every other day. He pulls people limb from limb just to see how much they last. I truly think he sees people as machines, and getting to watch how they work up close is genuinely fascinating to him.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

You know those books from people who almost died and they supposedly went to heaven and met god and all that shit? I bet those exist in the FMA universe, but they're all written by alchemists who survived attempting human transmutation and the books are basically just "yeah I met god and it fucking sucked"