#they're all ads for shitty mobile games

[vega-and-me]

Up late receiving the most ominous fucking tumblr ad I've ever seen on the Mumbo Jumbo tag.

[chekensheppppp]

I would love to hear about any head canons you have for the two not so very great dads :3 💖

I HATE THEM!!! 😡😤 (proceeds to make art, stories, and headcanons of them as they occupy my mind space for how many months already) (slight suggestive warning for some of these HCs)

I like to think they dated way before the present time (they dated in college, this hc is long so i'm not adding it here rn). So in the present games where they meet again (USUM's RR and Masters) Ghetsis slowly starts to develop romantic feelings for Giovanni (again). This bothers him to no end, especially since he suspects that Gio knows. Mafia man does figure out and secretly uses it to his advantage in their rivalry. Overtime though, Gio starts to feel mutual (again). This leads to him subtly flirting with Lettuce causing the latter to grow even more frustrated with his romantic man crush. He shouldn't fall in love with his enemy for world domination yet he did and he suspects that the other likes him too so now he's even more infuriated.

The jist of their dynamic pre-relationship is just Ghetsis being a tsundere who is also obsessed with the don bastardo (which he tells himself is hatred) and Gio being a smug flirt that takes any chance he gets to infuriate lettuce priest more.

They're very professional, most people wouldn't even notice that there's something going on between these two since they act all curt and business like everywhere. But if one stops and observes them, they'd notice how there is a minuscule hint of fondness in the way they speak to each other and how they have their own code in saying their affections. Also, look closely and you'll realize the glances they share have a deeper meaning than just mere looks. To put it short, they have a lot of eye sex, it's subtle but once you notice it, it becomes clear as day. Their grunts feel awkward whenever they end up noticing; it feels like they're intruding on private matters though they're not sure what.

Ghetsis has mobility issues, particularly his BW2 rendition, and he can't really walk and run for long distances anymore. Good thing he has a strong, beefy stud of a boyfriend to carry him around. Whenever Gio does that, Ghet becomes extremely flustered but doesn't stop him. While he does prefer dealing with his own problems and issues himself with the stubborness and persistence of a lone wolf, he's still a sucker for being treated and pampered like royalty. (After all, he is from a royal lineage and a pompous fuck)(expect a comic based on this soon)

In most other ships that involve Gio, he tends to subtly tune down his cruel, aggressive, and domineering traits for his partner and tries to be more considerate, slow and careful (still keeps the charming mafia godfather vibe tho). In this case, he doesn't. Being that they're both old and shitty bastards, Gio doesn't feel the need to adjust himself much for Ghet since he doesn't play nice either. If anything, he can be as blunt and straightforward as he wants to be. He won't hesitate to just slam the green-haired maniac down his office desk, rip apart his robes and have his way with him until sunrise.

Ghetsis likes to ramble and rant about whatever, whenever convenient. Gio doesn't mind this and lets him go on about whatever topic his partner wants to talk about. Usually he'd also return a comment if the other inquires on what he thinks or when he so chooses but in some instances, Gio just gets lost in the sound of Ghetsis voice, how he would be so full of emotion and conviction in the way he speaks and just the sound of it all can be what he considers music to him. You can tell he's not really paying attention to what Ghetsis says and is just enjoying the sound of his voice when he looks at him utterly lovestruck (well, as lovestruck as how a hardened mafia boss can be)

There are only a handful of people Ghetsis would allow to touch his hair; his hair care routine takes a long time to do and anyone that messes with it is basically asking for death. Gio is one of those few people. This pretty much means that he trusts him enough now to let him touch his hair and boy, he made a pretty good decision. Feeling his hand comb through his locks feels soothing and well, he does like how he pulls his hair from behind whenever they fck.

Gio most definitely had a long list of past lovers and even now that he's seeing someone, he still has many others clamoring to be with him. Ghetsis does not like this one bit. Whenever he's with Gio and someone tries to get too close to Gio, he just shoots them a scowl that can make milk sour up immediately and sticks closer to Gio. Gio does tell him to calm down about it and that he's a grown ass man who can make his own decisions but he does find it endearing seeing how much Ghetsis is in love with him.... even if it is going full possesive, but he can deal with that. (expect a comic on this too)

Curse that one deactivated blog for giving Gio a thing for Ghet's legs because now, I actually like the idea of it. Gio simply loves his tall, GNC, gossip girl, murderous megalomaniac boyfriend and his long ass legs.

There's something so funny about them getting married and Gio going like "Now that we're married, it's only fair that I give you something that you've always wanted." And straight up presents Ghet with a gun and says, "Let's shoot up a police station as part of our honeymoon, amore mio Harmonia." And Ghet is all sparkly eyed and delighted and goes "You know me so well, Sakaki dear." And their children are just screaming in horror in the background, "DON'T MAKE HIM MORE OF A THREAT THAN HE ALREADY IS!!!!"

and yeah that's it for now, this is getting too long lol

[swarnpert]

i can't believe after all these years evony is still a thing and still doing the same misleading ads they've always done. the originators of "we are fucking under attack" hot woman in knight armor and now they're a shitty mobile pull the pin game which is probably not actually in the game

[onewordshy]

I've been playing the Power Rangers phone game so I've been seeing a LOT of ads for other mobile games (sidebar: hate that there's now a genre of game where watching ads is a mechanic!) and all of them skeeve me out! The little king in Royal Match is a sleep paralysis demon! Slot machines make me sad! I don't know how to play solitaire but I'm pretty sure it won't make me money!

Genuinely do not consider these things video games. They are technically games in the literal sense that you can interact with them but there is no spirit or soul behind them. They are programs that exist to take your time and money.

Which like, hey, most video games are created for profit! I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with that! But this is to a whole new level. When I think about League of Legends, even though it's designed to make you addicted and take your money, at least it has style and panache. At least when I look at the pointless cosmetics that game hawks, I can appreciate the design and storytelling and understand that somewhere along the line, it was some artist's dream and there is a level of creative expression happening.

I look at these shitty match three mobile games and I can't imagine that it was anyone's dream to make them. I can't imagine any thought went into them beyond "how can I make money?"

And it's so apparent in the advertising too. The ads they show me range from deceptive (fake in-game footage) to exploitative (soulless celebrity ad reads) to just bizarre (weird low-budget sketches). It's lowest common denominator stuff and it feels like they can't even muster up the energy to pretend like it's anything good and they're just hoping to wear people down via constant exposure.

[enchantedlantern]

The Minecraft movie looks so ass. I've only seen the screenshots here but it looks like a mobile game ad. It looks like shit an AI would cobble together. It looks like the misshaped clone of those garbage cartoon character gets sent to the real world in disgusting CGI movies from the early 2000s.

Of course the plot is people from real world get sent to new world because that's ALWAYS what these things fucking do. They either think people won't be able to suspend their disbelief long enough to just take place in the setting as is or they're too lazy to think of how to do exposition good so the easiest thing to do is to send in a real world person and explain things to them. It doesn't really matter which it is because it's going to boil down to the same thing, it's the easiest, lowest effort first idea and they think the viewer is dumb.

The only thing missing from the bog standard shitty adaptation formula is either having the plot focus more on some random dude going through divorce or some shit rather than the actual stuff related to the source material or the military shows up and bores the audience to death.

You've already seen this movie before. We've all seen this movie before. It's always the same movie.

[fleshwerks]

Thoughts on new Dragon Age "teaser"? You have the best takes.

I'll be deadly honest, I didn't even realise it was out, that's how checked out I am, but I will always fall hook line and sinker for a delicious bait made of things I can chew on, so let's seeeeeee. I'll do first impressions for now. I'll warn you, I haven't done 'takes' in ages, I've seriously lost my edge and resemble someone yelling at a cloud more than someone with intelligent or at least entertaining takes. Proceed on your own volition. Note, I have not been keeping up with DA4 updates. At all. I am literally grasping at straws and screaming out of my arse.

I'll say this. I believe Mark Darrah who had retired from BioWare was brought back on to save this tattered ship that had failed to launch how many times now? If you were with DAI and Anthem especially, you know that when a vet of that calibre is being brought on board towards the end of production, you're fucked. The sheer scope of the regions visited in the trailer... I wouldn't blink an eye if it was a turn-based strategy game, but it is not.

I'm surprised how shit the game visually looks, but it's been my criticism with the thus far released art, and now, environment assets. And again, I'm coming off of Anthem, and Anthem was truly, truly gorgeous. Now someone might argue that every DA has had its distinctive visual style. Well I thought DA2, for what it was, sure did look inspired. I didn't enjoy the game or the characters, but I enjoyed looking at it. Dragon Age Inquisition kind of lost me aesthetically, but I see what they did there. It was more generic, certainly not attempting to be photorealistic, but I saw the idea and accepted it.

Now this though? What is this? The panning over what I presume is Treviso literally looks like a mobile game ad.

Ok, fine, I'll not go in on the visuals, I'm too fresh out of art college and I'm so anal-retentive that my o-ring's more pinched than a pinprick about this stuff. Moving on.

I believe the new PC is an Antivan Crow? Since when are they fighting for all of Antiva? Everyone??? Since when?! Zevran's canonically not returning, and even he was compassionately practical on his best days. The Crows are not good people. They buy kids to train for miserable jobs meeting miserable ends. Oh, so we had a whole character who gave the Crows a finger for being the shitshow they were, but now they're this resistance task force? What, why, because the 'Islamic Borg' invaded?

Then. I feel like I'm missing a fuckton of contest because I haven't read the preceding comics and stories, I have one comic book from the DAI-DA4 interim and it ended so disappointingly, I never bothered after that.

We're really retconning all the complex and complicated factions into freedom fighters, aren't we. I guess such is the state of our real world. Always a plucky band of people belonging to formerly shitty fucking organisations suddenly saving the day like heroes, possibly somewhere along the way ruminating for 2 seconds on whether they deserve to pat themselves on the back, landing on 'but we will change how we operate, and we will save the world, always!'

I'm into the Rivaini squid though. I've never been fond of Rivain, not just because parts of the fandom like to present this place that has barely been talked about in canon like some haven for... idk. I just didn't expect squids. And you people know I love marine invertebrates. You know what, fuck it, here's my 'best take': have squid, will travel!

But that port city ravaged recently by the dragons in ruins looks like it's been in ruins for the past 2000 years, only recently excavated. It's so clean. And here I go again with the aesthetics.

Anyway, Falon'din and/or dirthamen is fuckin' around in Rivain, aren't they. Because I believe that head shape, multi-hands etc were presented in many of the statues we saw in DAII, and given that Falon'din's proverbial crows, envy and nightmare were so prominently featured, and sexyman Solas' outright resentment for former master Dirthamen and the vain Falon'din, welll... risen gods. Dirthamen at the very least was associated with watery depths, but they're twins (or are they? Perhaps the facets of one person altogether)... Anyway, I'm more interested in what the fuck is happening in Weisshaupt. That part genuinely interests me. Circling back to Dirthamen, Razikale is the dragon of Mystery. Associated with Dirthamen, at least according to my theory, while Urthemiel was the Dragon of Beauty, and we keep getting indications that Falon'din was pretty, aggressive, and exceedingly vain. So Big Dirty's up next. Falon'din had the crows, right? Both defeated in DAI. He's out, more or less. And again, Solas most likely was Dirthamen's student before he decided that he himself didn't want to be but totally wanted to be revered. So my take is that Razikale, who got mentions in DAI is waking up as well.

The villain gods of this mess, the classic Dragon Age false gods we fight in every single game as end bosses, will be connected to Dirt. Eh. Same eagle, different liver.

Anyway I have a doubt that this kind of scope will end anywhere nice. The production's been fraught as fuck to the point where the panic button has been pressed many times. The art looks like a significant downgrade, the production has been filled with veterans just clocking the fuck out.

It doesn't sound interesting. I'm tired of saving the world as an Eastern European in late 2023. This kind of story does not speak to me at all anymore. Not after 2019, not after 2021. It looks dated and mediocre, the story is so old that if it goes where I think it will, it has no relevance or message for anybody but perhaps some American audiences (some). I'm just... I'm not.

The rah-rah I got from that clip leaves me ice cold. There is no rah-rah in such widespread misery. There are only curse words and the sound of grinding teeth, and everybody's a dick, and everybody's dick past is dredged up hard. No retcons.

I don't want it. It better receive insanely high marks for me to play it. And I loved this franchise, two of the PCs have gone on to be archetypal in my private works now.

The mystery is gone. The power creep... I don't want to hang out with gods. They should have never been brought into the story as characters you can extensively hang out with. Edit: basically the entire thing sounds about as exciting as a somewhat well-produced mobile game. Which is fun to fuck with while taking the metro, but...

[impishthing]

Has anyone else been getting those ads for some mobile game called hero wars: alliance or whatever that are all really blatant like. Giantess vore snuff fetish bait?? Like they're all just shitty animations of a giant sexy woman vomiting acid on dudes and crushing them and eating them and it's really bizarre and obviously the actual game isn't like that so why are they doing this. I haven't seen ANYONE talk about them and it makes me feel insane. Why are they marketing to such a niche fetish demographic where are they coming from why do I keep seeing them.

[piosplayhouse]

i'm strongly considering downloading revenge of the queen. how bad is it about in-game currency/microtransactions?

Surprisingly it's not too bad! I was going to comment on this but there's a remarkable lack of typical clickbait mobile games ad pushing-- I don't think they host any off-site ads actually, I haven't seen any.

There are options to buy in-game currency but honestly it's not super useful since a lot of in game functions have limits on how much you can use them every day regardless of currency, and nothing in game is that hard to get at all (actually there's even a passive income system where you get currency, exp, and items from being offline).

The only hard deal breaker I can think of right now are there are some cosmetic items (clothes, frames for in game chat, chatbox skins, etc) that are paywalled, but there's a shit ton of cosmetic options that you can just get via quests and normal gameplay so you're not missing anything imo.

Of course tho I'm a seasoned shitty mobile games player so my eyes sort of just glaze over when I see a dollar sign in a game popup, so I might be going a little too kind on it. There are occasionally some popups/quest notifs for bundles that you can spend money on, but they're not very persistent and pretty easy to avoid imo. Certainly better than other games of its genre, I can say that much!

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: The Boss Baby

(I could not for the life of me find actual promo art for this stupid fucking movie anyway). Boss Baby is bad. Wow, Jen, what a shocking revelation! Who could have guessed? Yeah, I could have. Cause this movie sucks. Let's get into all the many, many reasons why.

Seven year old Tim lives a perfect life with his loving parents, until the arrival of the Boss Baby, who acts like a normal baby around adults, but in reality, he's actually a corperate suit who works for Baby Corp, which is where all babies come from. A rivalry ensues between Tim and the baby, until they're forced to work together to foil a plot to stop puppies from overtaking parents' love for babies. Or something like that, idk this movie's plot is fucking weird.

So yeah, weird ass story that just... has really fucky pacing? Like this movie drags on man, it drags on SO long to the point that I felt like it was never going to end. We get to the climax and there's still like 20 minutes left in the movie??? Bro, stop padding this damn thing out. Nobody wants to sit through this fuckass movie for that long???

Our characters are all pretty lame. Tim is a typical annoying kid with an overactive imagination, there really isn't a lot to him. Boss Baby is as about as annoying as you'd expect a baby playing off white collar worker stereotypes to be. The parents are barely characters, same for Boss Baby's little crew. The villain is also the same old upstaged petty jealous bitch who wants their glory days back. Dreamworks, you just fucking did this trope. In fact their past three movies have had this trope (Dave, Kai, and Chef).

The humor in this is expectedly lame and childish. Because there's such a large focus on babies, you can expect lots of poop and vomit jokes, which I am absolutely not a fan of. When the humor isn't that its just "oh look at this cute baby saying he wants a latte and talking about stocks! Isn't that FUNNY? LAUGH, PLEASE WE"RE BEGGING YOU!" And it's trying so hard, both to be funny and to wring out genuine emotions and I think it almost manages to do the latter near the end, but even then it all comes across as nothing more than pandering and tryhard. Like I already don't like these characters, movie. What makes you think I'm compelled to feel anything about them?

The animation is... oy. A mess? The character designs are just bad, man. They look like something out of a shitty mobile game ad, with those massive uncanny valley eyes that take up half their face. The movie is agressively colorful, and while I praised something like that in Trolls, I can't say the same here. It's just too... hyperactive for me? Like there's lots of imagination sequences sprinkled throughout the film and you can tell they're trying to be stylized ala Kung Fu Panda, but there's always just too much going on on screen and it kind of hurts to look at? Like fuck, movie, calm down. You are way too overstimulating right now and my eyes are starting to goddamn ache just looking at you.

The one thing I didn't hate about this movie I suppose was the music. They could have easily littered the soundtrack with shitty pop songs, but they surprisingly held back. The score is also fairly nice to listen to, should have been in a better movie than goddamn Boss Baby, that's for sure.

There's also the fact that this movie's lore is just... a confusing mess? I get that this is for kids, but like? It takes itself seriously, so why am I still so confused about where babies come from in this universe. Are they concieved through Sex? Or are they made in a factory or something? Like what the fuck am I supposed to think, movie? Make it make fucking sense, please.

So yeah, I didn't like this one. I think Dreamworks was trying to make a kids' movie that could also appeal to adults here, but in the end, they made a movie that appeals to absolutely no one. Sure, I suppose it has its fans, who are likely just dumb kids who are too stupid to know they're being pandered to, but I am certainly not one of them. Fuckass movie, fucking hated it. Get it out of my face. Now.

Overall Rating: 2/10

Verdict: (takes out a gun and cocks it at Boss Baby) You're fired, kiddo

Previous Review (Trolls)

Next Review (Captain Underpants: The Epic First Movie)

[ficklepenguin]

using tumblr mobile has been torture recently. ads have been auto playing sound and video for days. and they're BIG ads. and they're all for fucking temu, tiktok, and shitty mobile games that definitely don't play anything like the ads. i fucking hate that this shit is legal. ads barely work these days, right? so why the fuck haven't they given up.

[transmandrake]

Concept that will never ever happen but man, 3d renders for a petsite with dress-up ala neopets or flight rising would be a great like, time-saving strategy. Like it is mindboggling the amount of effort that goes into a single item in FR... but 3d would make the possibility of fully dress-upable pet sites way more viable (i mean. Im sure theres more but I can only think of those two. And thats fair! Flight rising is petsites georg in terms of, whatd you call it, production level)

Like, instead of redrawing a hat 30 times, model it once, and then slap it on with minor adjustments for them all, and theoretically once you have a system of what fits what, adding on another beastie wont keep exponentially increasing the work of adding new clothes.

Then, render the creature and the clothes as spearate images, and have the site layer them as appropriate and compress into a final single image. That would mean no shadows and stuff, but thats already something you cant really do in 2d, but it would be a lot more noticeable.

Also wayyyy wayyy easier to do multiple poses.

That's also making me imagine the possibility of animated petsites... prerendered probably but man, imagine like, pokemon amie but on your computer or phone with your lil dressupable creatures. As much as I hold petsites dear to my heart, I do think they're on their last limb simply because most people don't go on their computer to goof around. Like technically you can play FR on your phone but its just not the same. (Side note but um. Anybody want a nature/water sprite? I feel a lil bad theyre rotting on my account considering they must be pretty rare at this point)

The idea of a petsite as an app causes me some form of revulsion, but I'm not sure why. If anything thats what I always wanted as a kid, but most games like that are... well. Shit. But I'm also not 12 anymore so maybe 'mobile games where you have some dudes to take care of' has expanded as a genre.

But in theory it would be cool. In general I think petsites came up with a lot of fun ways to interact digitally that arent anywhere else, that would make some unique videogames.

Went on tangent below lol

Also same with those dragon breeding mobile games that you really shouldnt play but are a guilty pleasure of mine... I'd love to make a whole game based around completing a compendium of dragons by collecting different ones and combining them.

As much as I hate to say it though they fundamentally revolve around waiting a lot of time between attempts, that I cant think of a way to keep the excitement of getting something different without being the shitty mobile game style ohhh you can wait 4 hours... orrr pay usss... like, just removing the paying would just make the game annoying.

they are genuinely fun if you have no money and are resistant to addiction... which is sad, I wish I could translate the gameplay loop in an equally fun but non-exploitative way.

But i guess animal crossing does real time stuff and people love it, but it also doesnt seem the sort of idea to make a good chill out game... the only way i can think of is to just make it so on average by the time you come back from playing the 'find more dargons' part of the game, that your combinings should be ready. But making that into a factory sort of advancement would be... kinda fucked up lmao.

You obviously want to make the dragons feel like pets or companions and not breeding stock. But also the angle of 'you are a dragon conservationist and you must convince as many dragons as possible to Fuck' sounds kinda funny... like how in FR obliterating dragons for money is well-rationaled as sending them off to serve their deity, but in reverse.

[nvara-of-mortains-own]

Privacy Badger is a project from the Electronic Freedom Foundation, and will 'learn' from websites visited which links are trackers or not

Facebook Container (and Container Tabs) keep facebook in its own bubble, unable to track you accross your other tabs. It also disables the tracking in the 'share to FB' links

Container Tabs are all around userfull--have 5-6 individual profiles on firefox which don't share information with each other! they're labeled work/shopping/bank/personal etc. It's private window, but useful

DuckDuckGo Privacy Essentials -- don't bother with the browser imo, but the search engine+extention are legit. if you sign in, they offer email masking; for lower effort, it's still a decent filter

and not firefox, but holyshit i love it:

Blockada--you know how one of the worst parts of doing stuff on your phone vs a desktop is how you cant add adblock extensions to an app? or how you always put your phone in airplane mode to play games, to avoid ads? This is the(a) solution, and it's so easy. it acts like a VPN or pihole, if you're familiar, and filters the internet requests based on adlists you can curate. ad- and tracker-free internet, across the board, including shitty mobile games my phone is so much faster, and it took so little effort compared to a pihole

The Chrome browser exists to show you ads and track where you go so that Google can show you more ads. Please stop using Chrome. Firefox is open source, and while Mozilla is not perfect, it isn’t actively fucking evil the way Google is. It has a bazillion plugins, including various (FREE!) ad block plugins (I recommend uBlock Origins, which will even block YouTube ads – you can watch videos without interruptions again!). It will also function very effectively with a lot more tabs open than Chrome. I’ve got around 800 tabs open right now (not loaded, of course, except for maybe 2 dozen; it’s been a heavy browsing day), and my wife has between 2k and 3k at any time.

We are in the New Browser Wars. This time there’s a helluva lot of money up for grabs, because a lot of it is about running those ads. Monopolies are bad for consumers.

Just go download Firefox.

[apriky0t]

i don't know abt anyone else but unfortunately shitty mobile game ads work on me . if they're interactive i almost always play them and get all upset when the pop up ends .

like okay FIIIIINNNNNE i'll play "cake sort 2 for elders" and "cat motel business" and "restaurant match"

life is short and as of current , i am unemployed . i will gladly let blossom sort — clearly made with grandmothers in mind — drain my life essence while i drink a giant cup of coffee

i get ??? competitive too ? you are NOT beating my weekly record this time , Cedric .

[dwarvenhobble]

Why Google ads is making me consider ad blocking now.

Dear hypothetical google developer or executive reading this possibly because a developer or some-one else on break found it and it went up to the chain to you, I really have tried to be good and help support creators somewhat by keeping ads on and not blocking them with ad block. I don't mind some ads if it keeps the service free and gets people paid. What I do have issue with is what finally happened today. I had the 50th advert this week for one of those crappy mobile games and it was the normal crappy mobile game style of advert (the one where the hero has to fight enemies of the right level to level up, you know the ones). Now earlier this month I started getting these and it was fine for a bit, ok not had any of these for a while so I'll endure a few. Then it was more and more apparent they were AB tested adverts. For those who don't know AB testing is when companies put out a number of different adverts with minor changes then keep iterating to get the advert that gets most engagement (E.G. does having the character in red trousers Vs blue make a person more likely to click the advert). So after a few days I started blocking the adverts using google system to tell google I didn't want to see those ads anymore. But because they're AB tested ads I blocked the A ad so then got the B ad then got the iteration of the ad so got the C and D version. So I blocked them too. Then I got the E and F versions. This carried on until today. I got another ad, pressed to block it as not being interested and Google ads options wouldn't let me block the ad. That's right I've apparently blocked so many of these shitty mobile game AB testing ads Google won't let me block anymore so I can't escape them. Google you're meant to be one of the most advanced tech companies out there, how can you still not get what ads I actually want to see with all the data you've collected? I've even literally gone through the selector system to choose ad categories I'm most interested in and you still get it wrong. Why the hell should I be good and keep ad block off when even telling you what ads I want doesn't work and when I block ads using your own system it don't just results in more of the almost exact same ad for the same product but it results in you then stopping me blocking ads because I've blocked too many according to your system or some such crap. Sort your shit out.

Maybe ask people what ads they want, hell I'd love a selection of film trailers for movies big and small coming out but no I have to get 50+ crappy mobile game ads that are literally misrepresentative of the games themselves to begin with.

Yours sincerely, A person you've literally made consider turning his ad block back on for youtube.

[0ryza13]

Hey did y'all know they're adding esports to the Olympics?

But also they're doing that thing where they do something heavily requested but they do it really badly so they can remove it and say "we tried and nobody liked it :("

It's entirely shitty mobile games and like an app that tracks how far you ride on a pelaton and digital chess, as opposed to normal biking and normal chess, which they already have.

Like, seriously??? There are already major competitive leagues for certain games. Use those. League of Legends, Minecraft, Pokemon if you really want to avoid the "sweaty gamer" part of it all. What the fuck are you doing with fucking "Tic Tac Bow" for archery??? At that point just have people bring in their Nintendo DS and play Mario And Sonic At The Olympic Games.

Can't believe they've done this.

[rosemaryandarsenic]

i’ve been having brain rot about gareth with a big tiddy goth gf, if i had a crumb of headcannons id be so grateful 🙏 however if you could elaborate i’d be dead on the floor

As a big tiddy goth gf myself, I LOVE this. NSFW blurb to follow, Minors DNI!!

HC's Authors note: I go on a rant at the end here lol, but tw: political stuff (human rights!) and talk of mosh pits, NSFW stuff, anger issues.

Personally, I think Gareth would favor more Punk/Lolita Goth types but let's be real, he wouldn't give a fuck as long as you're anti-establishment, anti-Fascist, and like metal. Frankly even the metal part is probably not required lmao.

You two would go to shows together and he'd get so nervous at first if you went into the mosh pit, until he sees you're a little battering ram and just goes absolutely feral.

He'd get you longer necklaces so they fall in between your boobs, maybe he'd let you wear his skull necklace during shows.

Will mark your boobs with hickies so anyone who sees them knows you're taken (and you wear low cut shirts to show it off haha)

Before you all start dating he'd lowkey be scared of you! Till he learns your looks are the complete opposite of your personality which is soft and sweet. He'd also learn real quick that soft girls still bark, especially if they have a temper to match his own, which you do.

Gareth would take you Halloween shopping every year, and plan couples' costumes with you. You have a ritual where instead of watching slashers or horror movies like you normally do, you watch a romcom on Halloween night and eat all your favorite candy.

MATCHING TATTOOS AHHH

Hoping this doesn't sound performative but I'm adding it anyway bc it's important: I like to think that he'd be so supportive of however you choose to express yourself and make sure that he supports bands that are not just good but support good values. I write from my own POV which isn't all-encompassing and I think it's super important to acknowledge if it doesn't fit who you are there's still space for you <3 I'm talking about feminist Gareth, Gareth with a Muslim gf who loves how you match your hijab to his vest, Gareth who decolonizes and votes to protect women and POC, BLM protest Gareth, gay rights Gareth, Gareth who decorates his GF's mobility aid and makes pronoun pins for the band. I mention all this specifically because this "stuff" is a huge part of the goth culture (it built it really) and I think he'd be very passionate about it. I know I write smut lol, but good relationships don't require sex and I think he'd be an excellent BF who'd respect those boundaries and would care about what you believe in and his own belief system.

THE BLURB

TW: Mentions of alcohol, boob luge, and shitty yt supremacy bands (I have beef with so many thrash metal bands). As usual, all characters are above the age of 18.

It's like 12:30 in the morning, and you're at Eddie's trailer with the older gang. Robin's in the corner talking to Nancy, Jeff is playing video games with Eddie, and you're in the kitchen listening to Steve and Gareth argue about music. It's hot, and your eyeliner is running as you rummage through the fridge looking for a cold beer, or literally anything to chase the shot you'd just taken.

"I'm telling you, Steve Miller band is so much better than that slasher band-" Steve says, completely getting cut off by your boyfriend.

"Slayer, it's SLAYER. That's not even who I'm talking about!" Gareth grumbles, "they have too much Nazi shit, I'm talking about fucking bands like Quiet Riot. They're revolutionizing music, you can't discredit that."

"Discredit? Man, they're brutalizing rock -" Steve cuts off again as you slam the fridge door.

"Will you two quit it? Steve's a jock Gareth, youre not gonna convince him to listen to metal, especially thrash." You groan, leaning against the counter. "He's no fun."

"Exactly," Steve says, throwing his hands up in the air. "Also, I AM fun, I have plenty of good music to listen to already." He emphasizes the good, making Gareth groan irritatedly.

"What? You think I'm boring?" Steve yells, "Eddie would you say I'm boring?"

"YES." Robin, Nancy, and Eddie reply together without even looking over.

"Jesus," Steve mumbles, "here, let me prove it."

Steve leans in and whispers something in your ear, as Gareth watches smugly, arching an eyebrow as you grin at what Steve is asking you to do. It's a party trick, one you've seen him do in high school, and you're just tipsy enough to play along.

"That's actually kind of metal." You giggle.

"What?" Gareth asks, staring at the two of you as Steve hands you a bottle of jack off the counter. "What're you two talking about?"

"Nuh huh," Steve laughs, "Y/N here is going to be able to explain it much better than I can."

You laugh again as you motion for Gareth to come to you and pull off the sliced-up T-shirt you have over your bra. Gareth's eyes get wide, despite the fact that everyone here could give less of a shit at your indecency.

"What the fuck are you doing, Y/N?" Gareth asks, in front of you now.

"The Harrington special, babe." You answer, winking. "You've never seen it?"

Gareth shakes his head as Steve laughs, "You're about to!"

You pull your boyfriend's face in with one hand and hold the liquor bottle in the other hand.

"All you have to do is stick your face in those lovely boobs of hers and open your mouth," Steve instructs, earning a glare from Gareth at the compliment to your anatomy.

"C'mere baby," you laugh, and Gareth complies, leaning into your chest as he starts to realize what you're going to do. You carefully pour a shot onto your boobs, the alcohol pooling between your cupped breasts and trickling down into his mouth. He laps it up, giving you a dark look as his tongue runs up from below your bra to your collar bone. Fucking christ that's hot.

You'd momentarily forgotten Steve was there as he hollers, "Would a lame person be able to do that?"

You giggle, "You're not doing shit, Harrington."

"Yeah well, not this time Y/L/N, I think your boyfriend would fucking kill me." he laughs, as Gareth nods.

"Touch her tits and you're dead, Steve." He laughs, pulling back and giving you a quick peck on the cheek. "I'll give you like, one notch above lame for teaching her that." He winks at you, and they go back to debating as you pull your shirt back over your shoulders. You were definitely going to pay for that later.