#they'll probably be under the
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Expect some aromantic related posts for arospec awareness week and lots of rbs🦈🦈
#mostly abt amatonormativity and the importance of deep platonic relationships in media#also#alterous attraction#and headcanons#(that is unless i lose motivation and dont post 💀)#aromantic#they'll probably be under the#asaw 2024#tag#moth.txt
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
i see A LOT of sad chilshi posts about how ohh senshi will live so much longer than chilchuck!! it's gonna be so sad. YOU'RE WRONG. (unless the wiki is wrong hacks coughs). CHILCHUCK IS 28. GIVING HIM AROUND 20-25 MORE YEARS SENSHI IS 112. In chapter 51, it's said dwarves live 2.5x longer than tallmen, and tallmen live for ~60 years. This means dwarves live for around 150 years. AT MOST. ON AVERAGE. SENSHI WOULD LIVE FOR 13-18 YEARS WITHOUT CHILCHUCK. In my opinion at least, that really isn't all that long (at least not for senshi)
#we have no clue how long they'll actually live this is just averages#i get everyone wants a little angst BUT CMON NOW#senshi would be sad for a little while but it's not like they don't grow old together#dungeon meshi#chilshi#let my old men be happy for once#also there's a chance chil could live a lot longer than 50 (to be fair that means senshi could also probably live a lot longer)#my point is i feel like their deaths really wouldn't be that far off from each other#under certain circumstances#chil might actually live longer than senshi
159 notes
·
View notes
Text
ive been wondering forever about when exactly levi was kidnapped and taken to the heaven lab and this bit from his new unit's board here doesnt help much but i wonder if those are just the first words he remembers learning and not the first words hes learned overall.
mainly this is all just speculation based on 2 things:
1) he ofc had some sort of childhood before the heaven lab from how old he looked at the time, plus his selfie comic art looking younger than his sprite art from ch5 (look at his little horns plus his hair's grown out)
2) he does also just say straight up that he doesn't remember his life from before the lab
i wonder if that means he had to get reacquainted with the kings all over again too. like he wouldnt recognize them at all even with how it looks like they often played together. (tho i do suspect a little that some comics might have been done before there was a more coherent story put together but thats whatever)
#cliffnotes/.txt#whb#what in hell is bad#fun thought: itd be extra hurtful if the reason beel felt closest to levi was bc of them being close as young children#but levi remembers none of that + he doesnt trust anyone now anyways#i wonder if his friendship w/ them is less smthn he wanted after returning and more he Cannot get rid of them and theyre a package deal atp#extra extra thought: if the comics r still canon to the timeline then it looks like levi was always a little introverted#even liking his coffin before everything happened#and it just got worse afterwards bc then it was the only place he felt safe#wait one more#interesting how levi looks like he'd be around maybe 10-12 in the ch5 flashbacks#(tho considering the number they gave him hes probably been in there a long time)#and that age would be pretty close to the mc's age when their parents were killed by im suspecting gabriel or angels under his command#i wonder if they'll talk about that later#how the angels stole both (and more) characters' childhoods
133 notes
·
View notes
Text
Frank! fantasy flavor!
rambles:
i really wanted to blend that monk-class inspiration w/ Frank's personal vibe... i like to think that i Succeeded!
i turned his tie into a sort of brooch since, yk. bowties aren't all that Fantastical. they miss the style. also i think they'd be more comfortable with something smaller since he's very active and needs a wide range of maneuverability
i bet Eddie or someone wheedled them into adding the leather shoulder pauldrons - leather to keep it a bit more flexy, and also. it just looks Cool!
figuring out what would replace his vest was tough. i didn't want them to be entirely unprotected, but i couldn't give him straight armor. though i will admit! a sort of tight-fitting crop top was Considered! but i landed on a gambeson vest as the best fit - comfortable, flexible, a Vest, while providing some level of protection! also, gambesons are quilted, which fits Frank's diamond-checkered vest!
ive already mentioned that one of my favorite outfit things is Flowy Pants Tucked Into Boots, so... that choice wasn't very character driven. except the boots are a tall ankle wrap - for that extra stability and strength! their shoes are pretty flexible and are only a few steps away from being slippers.
and the half-skirt - open skirt? - thing (still don't know what its called) is purely some self indulgence. i think Frank looks great in skirts!! also imagining him Throwing Down w/ the added flair of the skirt... damn. it'd probably help confuse enemies too - what're they gonna do next? who knows! the skirt is in the way and adding extra Movement!
i like to think that his knife is either in a sheath attached to the back of the belt, or they have it on their thigh (under the skirt) like Wally's bag. he probably never uses it... punching is the way to go for Frank methinks. it's probably reserved for cutting ropes and fruit
speaking of punching.... wrist wraps! inspired by boxing gauze! pads his knuckles, keeps his wrist compressed, its the best choice for physical combat. though the wrapped knuckles probably always have blood showing through anyway... or no yeah it's mostly other people's blood...
as for scars - Frank probably has quite the collection! i imagine that they've been picking fights since a young age, and in such a dangerous world he probably got hit a Lot until they learned how to hit back. and hit back Well. still, i wanted to give him a cool face scar with a very lame backstory - a book with a crisp, sharp spine corner fell off a high shelf and bonked them in the face at juuuust the right angle <3 he probably stays very fucking quiet about it which makes everyone think there's some intense traumatic backstory behind it. there isn't. Frank's just embarrassed.
closing note: i imagine that Frank has zero magic. literally none. cannot wield it for shit cannot utilize it. he's just like Howdy fr
#im Very happy with this outfit ngl#they probably know a bunch of different fighting styles...#and then stitches them all together into a Frankenstyle#get it? frankenstein's monster + frank + style - yeah yeah i know im hilarious#he probably stresses everyone tf out with how gung-ho they are in a fight Without Much Protection#like yeah gambesons can cushion blows and depending on the quality can lessen or even stop arrows / stabs#but frank's is a Vest. yeah it covers his vital organ area but like. their face? arms? legs? its free target practice#everytime eddie sees frank throw himself at an enemy w/ magic or Much Bigger Than Frank#he has about 100 heart attacks#catch him sprinting to cover's franks ass. they need it#frank Will look at someone way above his pay grade and go 'yeah i can take em'#(and that's why they consistently end up under poppy's healing wing)#julie unfortunately is on the same bullshit as frank#so if frank takes on someone he cant handle - so will she. without blinking!#though when she (or anyone else) tries it that's when frank goes 'are you crazy?! dont fight them they'll kill you'#frank has common sense when it comes to other people <3 not themself <3#scribble salad#wh fantasy au#ah yes and the tiny knife... the glorified cheese knife...#even sally has a nice dagger and she's got some Powerful magic on her side#meanwhile frank is bringing fists to a gunfight smh#tryin ta think of a backstory for him for this au...#im thinking... he was either an orphan or his parents straight up Ditched him as a kid...#and he was taken in by a... fuck im missing the word. monastery? or something?#whatever it was it was run by somewhat spiritual people that raised & trained highly skilled/disciplined fighters#with the intent of 'you will fight for good blah blah blah'#maybe frank would sneak out and thats how he met julie? and he taught her some combat skills maybe...#& then he wound up running away w/ her or somethn#or he completed his training and went out to be a Soldier For Good but wound up following his own path & moral compass... idk
360 notes
·
View notes
Note
Do you have any nokken art stashed away? I know the barghest is your favorite but I'm wondering how you think of the nokken :3
Actually, I love all of my little monstrous children equally :-)
I am aware that barghests feature prominently on this blog... but the fact of the matter is that they're a lot more popular/well-known than the other creatures, so there's just a ton more art of them out there! I'm always on the lookout for sylvan/basilisk/nokken-like pieces, though, so please feel free to send me a link to anything you think I might like or that might fit the VE vibes.
Nokken are near and dear to my heart... I think there's something tragic about them. They have that 'I can't let anyone close because my touch will hurt them' kind of vibe in my mind, maybe more so than the others imo (though all of them are their own delicious blend of dangerous, of course).
These iconic art pieces are by theodor kittelsen and they were a big inspiration to me. :-)
#when reblogging I do try to stay clear of people's specific characters which is probably why it's harder to find nokken-like art#than for the more monstrous entities#also most of them are the mermaid kind which they aren't. so. *shrugs*#I *have* reblogged nokken art in the past but they'll all be under the general 'art' tag#maybe I'll try to find a few & reblog them#asks
59 notes
·
View notes
Text
hopefully i'm not jinxing it, but at some point in this story/gp thing i'm going to need three members of a queer punk band for a brief apperance and maybe some mutuals would be open to making them? 👀
#the story already has so many characters and the plot is convoluted so unfortunately they'll probably only show up for two scenes#but i feel really bad about that so i'll try and figure out a way to include them more. try being the big word here#i made the bassist but i could use a singer guitarist and drummer#feel weird tagging people in this#anyway the thes have to be ya queer and fully or mostly maxis match#i'll get to that part of the story in maybe a little under a month so u have time#but pls dm me or comment if you want to make one to call dibs now#ok i'm done talking but excited yay!!!#*mina.txt
15 notes
·
View notes
Note
You have any OCs ?
At the moment only these two little guys I made for hosting a DTIYS on IG a few months ago :)
#I'll probably create more at some point but I still very much have homestuck brainrot rn haha#if I do though they'll be under the tag ->#original character#ask#my art
55 notes
·
View notes
Text
...because any moment may be our last. everything is more beautiful because we're doomed.
#looking through my drafts and seeing this post unfinished and knowing in my core I'll probably never actually finish it .#but strangley enough i don't hate the way it looks with only those 2 panels ? beauty in simplicity or something idk#woe unfinished post be upon ye#honestly probably wouldnt even bother posting it were it not for the fact i was hit by a sudden wave of sadness#by being reminded out of the blue that alex really does just . lose nigel that night#enough deep level analysis my brain is all out i think . but just the simple fact that nigel dies that night#and alex has to go on for the rest of his life post-ending carrying that grief and loss with him#i know we talk about how nigel isn't truly 'gone' in the sense that they're one now and jack is supposed to be an amalgamation of the two#a product of their union and 'consummation' that night at the yard#but he's still gone . no matter how much alex might try and follow in nigel's footsteps#no matter how hard alex tries to tread that same path nigel did to feel close to him#he's gone . they will never have that moment beneath the house ever again . and alex has to go on living with that#anyway . normal again . imagine dropping a song rec like i used to. aha . go listen to sick like me by in this moment.#like minds#murderous intent#nigel colbie#alex forbes#nigel colbie x alex forbes#edit : THEY'LL NEVER HAVE THE MOMENT UNDER THE HOUSE AGAIN !!!!!#thinking about the moment where nigel sits across from alex after he shoots john#and the contrast to the scene in the crawlspace . nigel is trying to connect he is trying to get alex to see to understand#but now alex is closed off. something may be irreparable broken between them#do you think it was the moment where nigel starts to despair . to plead . realise that he needs to find a way to make alex truly see#i need to get some sleep
28 notes
·
View notes
Note
After your reduction are you gonna change how you draw self portraits? Idk if you’re gonna get phantom boob syndrome but it’ll be funny if your hand defaults to big booba during drawing.
I was just thinking abt this!! I think by force of habit I'll prob default to drawing my Old Boobs lmao. chances are I'll have to intentionally, manually, change the way I see myself in my head and the way I draw myself
#I figure I'll probably knock out some self portraits when the deed is done and I'm healed?#and obviously I'll be taking photos for documenting's sake so I'll have those to refer back to#to remind myself what i look like.#sergle answers#it's going to be super weird probably#I have a mole on my abdomen under my tit and I wonder if it'll still be covered by my boombs#or if it's going to suddenly be visible bc they'll be Lesser and also probably a little more Up?#much to think about. real important stuff over here
110 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh no somebody I do not want to know about my online presence might have found this account luckily I didn't find anything suspicious in my follower list but oh my god
#nana talks#its literally my dad too I'm not gonna get into the whole lore of why I genuinely don't like him but he's an awful person#I hope nobody has to deal with somebody like that ever not even my worst enemy I'm not kidding#so like I'm hoping he's not stalking this blog#like literally what can he do not like its gonna drive me off of the platform I literally don't care about his opinion of me#but its still unsettling if he is trying to keep track of his adult daughter like this#anyways I don't know if I should reach out to tumblr support because like they probably can't do anything#literally up until I was like 15 he had stuff installed that would let him see everything I do online#eventually that app or something of his shut down and I was free hehe#like this man did and said the most horrendous things under the sun and he's like omg why does nana not want to spend time with him#I don't even care if he's reading this he knows that I don't like him#best thing you can do if you have someone like this in your life is just do whatever you want don't let them bother you that much#eventually they'll realise they can't bother you anymore#like literally for the longest while I thought he would never shut up with the insults directed towards me#but like a couple of months of not caring about it and not talking to him later and he left me alone#so like if anyone reading this can relate I am proof that it does get better my dad is the most stubborn and mean case too#so I promise you it will be okay
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
not super into the bloodline story machinations rn but i do like that roman Does Not want jey back in the fold. the one that made it out
#jrestling#roman used every trick in the book to make jey think he needed him. and he still left#he and sami are the real reminders of roman's weaknesses. title or no title if he's a man that can't even keep his family under him#then he might as well not be a man at all#oh roman im so curious about what they'll do with your toxic toic masculinity. probably nothing
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking about dr. hanna becoming a devil by proxy right now. (mostly because his title isn't doing it for me... i still feel like inexorable mutilator is such a mouthful...)
because like. not necessarily spoilers because i don't know if i'll upload the fic but hanna loses his grand hotel to a staff riot uprising thing and has to flee to hell. and obviously he would be hounded for his soul because. well. devils. BUT because his soul doesn't really fit into their defined categories and due to his psychopathy and general heartlessness they basically see his soul as something incredibly rare and valuable. to some it's like a faberge egg where they just want it for the sake of having something so unique and uncommon. but in any case he uses this to his advantage and ends up rising extremely quickly in the ranks of hell (and generally the soulless too)... insane comeback but the fics are ending up so sitcom-y so i'm having fun
#they'll probably end up in here sooner or later#this begs the question will “the devil by proxy” end up as a new tag?#or should i keep it all under “the inexorable mutilator”?#things to ponder while i write...#the inexorable mutilator#tposts#oc thoughts
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
Since the Neighborhood are adventurers, I'd like to imagine they travel by sea a fair amount of times too! A nice boat trip while occasionally breaking out into a sea shanty, eh? (And for gits and shiggles, to keep up with the whole.. Eddie in water joke, I imagine the poor guy is clumsy enough to go overboard. He may not be unconscious during it, but it wouldn't make it any less funny with the group desperately trying to pull him back aboard-)
OH OH OH allow to ramble at length about this!!! what an idea!!! i fucking love boats & the ocean & being on the water so this ask is checking all my boxes rn
first i imagine that the length of their trips varies wildly, along with the quality due to the glorious variation in weather & bodies of water. and i'm choosing to believe this universe uses tall ships instead of like... fantasy steam ships. because i fucking love tall ships. the sails, the rigging, the elegance... an absolute bitch to maintain and maneuver <3
i imagine that depending on the ship, captain, and size of the crew, the Neighborhood may be required to help out to earn their keep. especially since they're a crew of nine eight, and some ships are woefully understaffed!
I'd imagine that Poppy sometimes takes the cook's job if the crew is currently lacking one (or if the cook wants a fucking break, jeebus it's a demanding job. there's a reason ship cooks in moves/tv are always stern & serious). Barnaby can probably charm his way into doing nothing but provide music/entertainment (much to Sally's aggravation). everyone else are plain deckhands
of course i imagine that that doesn't always happen! plenty of ships are probably content to just take their coin and tranport them. some of them (Eddie, Poppy) may still wheedle their way into helping out though. they strike me as characters that can't Not help
who i imagine loves their little water journeys: Barnaby, Wally, Sally, Wormie
neutral: Frank, Julie
hates it: Poppy, Howdy, Eddie
allow me to provide reasoning!!
Barnaby's impeccable balance probably means that he's stable as a rock even in choppy waters, and i'm reasoning that he doesn't get seasick either. his vestibular system is as solid as his sea legs! he probably finds the whole experience relaxing as anything. He gets to just recline on the bowsprit's base or wherever he isn't in the way & smoke/play his accordion/nap.
Wally just has such a love of life and new things, so why wouldn't he love being on the water? it's different! it's new every time! there are ample things to learn about and do! Home probably keeps his systems stable so that he doesn't have to deal with seasickness. though it probably takes him a little bit to find his sea legs... catch him stumbling around like a lil newborn lamb. sometimes he is facedown on the deck <3 i imagine he'd enjoy going aloft!
Sally would probably love the inherent romanticism and adventure of it all. Who knows what dangers and glory they may face! I bet she writes up a storm during this time - plenty of story material! food for the imagination! what does Anne say... Scope for the imagination, i believe! i bet she also loves having a captive audience. Literally. they're stuck on this ship with her <3
so many lines for Wormie to climb... so many little places to crawl into... new people to trick into giving her treats... down time where the Neighborhood is relaxing in one place. abundant time for affection!
Frank probably doesn't have strong feelings about it. It's a boring ship with no bugs or things to do. Except when he manages to rope crew members into having a lil impromptu fight club. Or when the Neighborhood is put to work - i wonder if he'd find the maintenance soothing or pleasant... or if he'd relish in the hard work of pulling lines
Julie is likely in a similar boat (ha) as Frank. once the initial "wow! whoah!" wears off, it can get boring! and games are limited - there's only so much you can do on a ship (depending on the size of the ship of course), and there might be strict rules to keep passengers out of the crew's way and to lower risk. She probably entertains herself by "bothering" her friends and the crew & cloudgazing.
Poppy... do i need to explain? wooden ship on the ocean, which i understand can be terrifying. who knows what lurks below the waters? if the weather will change on a dime? if one of the flammable things on board catches fire? if the ship hits something? etc. I imagine it's impossible to get her to go above decks. They have to literally push her statue-frozen body onto the ship when they first board
Howdy! honestly i just think it'd be really fucking funny if he gets Violently seasick! like, curled into a ball in his bunk & involuntarily making agonized noises. he sounds like a ghost w/ all the pained moaning. his sea legs suck unless he stances all four at the right distance to anchor himself in place. he's a weak, sickly, fragile little thing, take mercy on him... he doesn't even have the strength left to swindle or sell...
Eddie. now we get to the point of anon's ask - his sea legs would be nonexistent. he's staggering and stumbling all over the place. the ship just barely tilts and he's smacking into a mast or careening across the deck. and of course, hitting the guardrails at precisely the right speed/angle to allow him to tumble overboard. i bet this happens enough that every time the Neighborhood is so much as on a dock, there is at least one person either holding his arm or acting as a barrier between him and the water. as soon as they get on any ship, he's immediately sent below decks. any attempt he makes to come up is instantly blocked.
there's a lot of both comedic and angst potential there. small ship, calm waters? comedic. some neighbors are playing cards, there's on off-screen splash & Frank immediately sighs and gets up all "god damn it, Eddie-". lmao im imagining him floating there and rapid-fire blabbering in fear 'cause there's a shark (it's not a shark. it's a dolphin. everyone on board is so unimpressed.) he's sobbing in fear as they pull him in <3
but angst? imagine there's a storm. imagine it's an all-hands-on-deck situation, every available hand is needed, and Eddie is strong as fuck - he'd be a monster at pulling lines. probably wouldn't even need to sweat them. but a violently rocking ship, slick decks, maybe even waves splashing over the deck... oof i can so easily imagine Eddie slipping & sliding right over the side. maybe while the others watch. maybe they try to grab him, but they're too late. and in such a horrible storm, there's not much they can do - it's dark, the water is incredibly turbulent, the ship can't turn around easily, there's torrential rain. a high stress situation! i'm imagining Frank grabbing a lifebuoy, firmly fastening it to a pin, and then throwing himself overboard after Eddie. something to think about! (i'm imagining that after the storm clears up enough, everyone rushes to the side to check. Eddie & Frank are trailing after the boat, lashed to the buoy and exhausted. maybe a little banged up, but overall fine!)
and then yeah.... oh the shanties Barnaby could lead... the whole ship sings! and then them all in their bunks (or in their hammocks!) in the [insert term for living quarters here, it can vary] when its sleepytime. y'all would not believe the shenanigans that can occur in the fo'c'sle (or the main hold, basically wherever the ship's sleeping quarters are), especially before actual sleep occurs. peak silly time.
there's a lot of potential here, thank you anon!
like now i'm thinking - what about sea monsters? or jobs that Require them to go on the water, as in the job takes place on a ship? ocean battles! ocean searches!
#since eddie is pretty much banished to the holds no matter what#i imagine he & poppy are the main neighbors looking after howdy in his frail sickly state#im imagining eddie sitting on the bunk with howdy in his lap#howdy feels someone petting his hair and blearily cracks his eyes open to be all '...barn...?'#barnaby: *is actually eddie*#howdy: *groans & squeezes his eyes shut* oh god not You...#eddie: *mildly offended* hey now...#im also having a lot of fun imagining frank & eddie after they get reeled in after the storm debacle#they'd just flop onto the deck. exhausted. waterlogged. still holding hands though#they'd probably end up with colds... snifflin and sippin tea while cuddled up in a bunk under the same blanket...#everyone hovering nervously because for quite a while there they actually thought they Lost them both for good....#SO MUCH POTENTIAL#i imagine that howdy actively avoids jobs where he knows they'll have to take a boat#oh his dismay and horror on the times he comes along and they have to unexpectedly go on the water....#even if its just a short trip across a river you know howdy is bent over the stern & feeding the fishes#LMAO WAIT#im imagining wally going over too but in a really funny way. he's standing normally but when the ship tilts too hard#he just slides across the deck and right off the ship. not even blinking or moving. he just goes 'oh! im sliding now'#and everyone turns just in time to watch him vanish over the side w/ perfectly posture#i think this is a situation where barnaby would toss his hat to the side and jump right in after him lmao#but in a funny way! the waters are Calm! the ship is Slow! he climbs right back on with wally (perfectly fine) slung over his shoulder#home lectures wally the best they can w/ the language barrier <3 and barn resolves to teach wally how to swim#because apparently that's not in his skillset! he just falls in the water and Sinks! well. he floats for a minute until he inevitably sinks#& he does not react to it at all. he's exact opposite of eddie on the 'how they handle being in water' scale#eddie: lowkey panics. swims for safety#wally: lets it happen <3
59 notes
·
View notes
Text
i don't care whether or not timmy can pull off bob dylan. i care about who's playing the members of the band.
#catch me scouring the imdb pages of every actor under 30 listed in the cast#i think charlie tahan is probably robbie#and eli brown has a richard manuel-esque look to him if you squint really hard#which would make will harrison of daisy jones and the six fame rick danko.......hmm. not goofy enough.#all the members of the band have such distinctive faces i don't envy being that casting director#idk if they'll cut garth but i really hope they don't cut levon#he leaves the band because he can't stand being booed every night! that's some sweet late second act conflict right there!#the movie is going to be so bad but i will be seated for the 15 minutes of screen time the band gets#a shout into the void
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
So a few days ago instead of doing anything productive I ended up making a 6th little guy. Welcome to the world Captain CT-7104 (or Ten-Four (they/them). Yes, they are another Corrie because you can never have too many. Am I going to make their life a living hell like I do with the others? Yes.
#oc: ten-four#ocs galore#they'll be around. probably with Laughter more than anyone else. we'll see where things go#they're covered in tattoos under the blacks but i dont plan on undressing them anytime soon xD#if ever#so saves me from having to think of designs#coradoodle
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
its only been 2 weeks but i just dont feel like i can do this.
its really stressful. the workload is always high. having a break isn't really a thing. and with how bad my schedule is (that i could not do anything about) i have to wake up extremely early (5-5:30am) and i come home in the evening (also 5-5:30 but pm). and i just have to dedicate that time to homework and i know there's going to be lots of all-nighters
i have no time to eat. im tired all the time. focusing on work is difficult in general, but my lack of eating and sleep make it worse. and while i know the exercise is good for me, having to walk a mile each way to and from home and all my walking on campus makes me very tired and sore. (im so petty)
i know im being overdramatic because its only been 2 weeks. but it gets worse from here on out. im really stressed and anxious all the time. and ive already broken down a few times. i want to cry right now because im under so much stress, but people are awake so i cant.
its so petty. i want to give up now and i keep contemplating, i thought about going to the rooftop and. well. you know. i want to drop out now but that would upset my family a ton (also its only been 2 weeks!!!). but i dont really like my family's idea that if they went to college and got their degrees, so can i. they all went to college so thats what was encouraged of me to do too after i graduated high school. and this is just community college. if im barely hanging on in community college id be dead by now in a uc or cal state, either one im planning to transfer to once im done at community college...
i knew i wasnt cut out for college. i knew it since before applying. i keep telling myself this is only until december. and when i register for the spring term i can hopefully form a much better schedule so im not stressed out and loaded with work all the time and i can actually take care of myself. so im trying to keep moving forward. but its only now september. i have 13 more weeks. and if these first two weeks were enough to kick my ass then im fucked for the rest of the semester. and probably my entire time at college.
#vent#i do not like that i break under pressure so easily#guess who has zero time to go see the psychiatrist and mention my medication isn't working so it cant help regulate my anxiety rn!!!!!!!!!!#i dont want to give up so easily. i feel like it'd be petty of me to do so especially so soon. and im being teased by family for my#complaints. but i really feel like i cant do this. at all.#maybe i could go seek the mental health services on campus but i dont really want to hear the same things over and over#i have a very strong feeling i know what they'll tell me. they get stressed af students like me going to see them all the time probably#i just. want to cry. this stress is terrible.#this was my plan. besides encouragement i wanted to attend community college then go to a 4-year. i feel like I cant give up yet#because this was my idea. i am now here doing what i had planned and now i want to back out. i dont have any right to back out of this#im doing what i wanted and what family wanted. leaving isn't an option what the hell am I thinking?
6 notes
·
View notes