#they'll never be now I guess :(
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Becoming deeply radicalized against the idea of crewed Mars missions, y'know how the Rovers keep sending back better and better data what if instead of that we made an even bigger one and devoted nearly 90% of its capacity to holding a guy in a bubble on top of it instead of sending back useful data, but wait! They'll eliminate like a half hour of latency and also almost certainly contaminate the landing site and possibly the entire planet, so it's not all downside.
#At least in the near term it's fucking pointless and the downsides are very large and very big#Quite frankly it is extraordinarily likely that the first people to arrive at mars will do so dead#Because they will have been sent by fucking idiots willing to take too large risks#But the good news is that the wreck will spread across and contaminate huge amounts of the martian biosphere#To the point that we will quite possibly never be able to discern the history of life on mars#But if they live at least they'll get to slightly reduce the latency on our telerobotic fleet!#And travel home with the samples I guess#Good thing Percy's tagging and bagging rocks that we just canceled the return trips for#At least once we fuck up the rest of the planet those will be sterile#Kinda still excited about Aritimis but also kinda becoming anti-human spaceflight in general#We should consider not doing that for a while and at most focus specifically on living on the moon in a controlled and limited fashion#Ground the whole fucking commercial fleet who gives a shit those capsules are both gonna get someone killed sooner rather than later#And it's not like we're learning a whole lot by having people on hand up there#They spend most of their time trying to keep the machines from falling apart#Which is the main thing people would be doing for three continuous years on the shortest possible mars mission#Like you could send a dozen rovers for the price of one crewed mission both mass and money-wise#And that's probably a lowball estimate even assuming more and more advances in rover technology#Which are happening a lot faster than the advances in life support technology#Right now we do not even have enough functioning space capsules at our low earth orbit space station#Starship HLS is a fucking joke#The whole thing reeks let's just stop sending people into space for a while what were we really getting out of it
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#gogoat#i like this Less than skiddo. which is unfortunately why i rarely ever end up using skiddo in my teams#that's the main thing stopping me from using a lot of pokémon in my teams. i like their prevos but the final evolutions just don't do it#for me for one reason or another and since that's the only reason to use a pokémon on your team aside from the early game i just#never end up using that pokémon. because they'll just fall so drastically behind so quickly that i never use them#so pokémon like skiddo‚ fennekin‚ vulpix‚ ponyta#etc etc i never end up using just because i only like their weak baby forms. and like i guess it's a me issue bc i could just give them an#eviolite and say it's a strat but i always feel like i'm missing out on a lot by not letting them evolve. some pokémon get such a huge stat#boost that i feel like keeping them a baby is just holding my whole team back#so i never use skiddo despite loving it to death. justice for skiddo. y'know what#i'm gonna go change my discord icon to a skiddo RIGHT now#get skiddo'd
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@requiodile YAKUMO EATS BUGS AND I LOVE THAT FO RHRI OM
#you know that whole YOU SHOULD NOT EAT THE SLUGS. YOU MAY GET PARALYSIS AND DIE#nah. little snaby eats eberuy bug and the magic of yokai guts will acidify it all#HE'S JUST FEELIN A LITTLE PECKISH AND THERE ARE SO MANY SNACKS *RIGHT THERE*#it's like when you go to harvest berries in the field#everyone got their lil baskets and fillin it up withe the frutas while occasionally slorpin an overripe one#and yakumo's just going thru the rows sampling invertebrates#if shrimps is bugs. and bugs is bugs. protein is protein#lil noodle can't quite eat rodents yet#so. bugs it is#everyone who has ever complained about a toddler putting things in their mouth#well. guess what a snake yokai toddler is about to do. the stress and anxiety will never leave your body#because your snild is CONSTANTLY eating what the earth provides#i am now imagining garu and yaku (baby age) side by side with . forbidden snacks in their mouth#the humans tell them to DROP IT!! dRoP. IT!!!!!!!!#and yakugaru are sitting their with confused expressions while the lizard/rat/bird tail is just hanging out of their mouth#they'll be fine. stomachs like vultures these two#the tags tho
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i hate being slow as hell. what is wrong with me bro WE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THIS STUPID
#doesnt matter what i do someones always gonna point it out at some point or another#theres always gonna be someone to make me feel stupid#for all intents and purposes i might as well be missing half my brain . at least then id have a good reason for being this way. smfh#nah . i am forever going to be fucking pissed off at how every adult in my life failed me. maybe i would be okay if someone just fucking#helped me. if someone just fucking noticed my existence and saw something was wrong. but no one did. and now im like this.#now im like this and nobody is going to help me. and they'll think im fucking braindead. or fucking treat me like a child. BECAUSE THEY DO#BECAUSE I KEEP FUCKING SEEING IT. THEY DONT EVEN KNOW AND YET THEY DO IT. I GUESS THEY SMELL IT OR SOMETHING#its not even like theyre wrong in treating me like that either . i dont think i can do fucking anything without being guided and coaxed.#its just another reminder ill never be normal. and i hate that#i hate being disabled. i hate being disabled. i hate being disabled.#toxi.txt
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ngl i didn't mean for the jason cass twin au to be a pair but I've been sending so much jaycass dead dove shit that i can't complain. never even considered it, thanks op!
WELL happy accidents then khjggjhkjl. i love JayCass so dearly so i'm happy you liked the thought anyway. i think ti's also a really cool platonic concept as well! Jason and Cass as siblings is just something i'm always thinking about. i love them and i love the potential sm. i just think they should interact more DC let them be messy.
#necrotic answerings#jaycass#pft when I was answering I was like “is this shippy or not?”#and I shrugged and just guessed#it works both ways tho#platonically I love them as siblings sm#like children of shiva who ended up separated and have No Idea#there's such a tragedy to them not finding out until their lives have taken them in such different directions#and now they have irreconcilable differences#like how do they cope with it yk? how do they handle being strangers and siblings at the same time?#knowing they'll never agree?#it's good fucking shit to me#but them as twins is even more big brained.
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Imagine your young queer characters older selves. Imagine them with greying hair and crow's feet and laugh or frown lines and soft middles and wrinkles and a touch of stiffness in cold weather. Do it. It's free and it works
#there's a reason this is going on this blog and i bet you can guess what it is lol#I think about older Hallowrove so constantly#surprise!! Guy who subconsciously thinks they'll surely die before 40 gets to live long enough to see themself age#imagines a Hallowrove with salt and pepper hair and a bad knee and a fair share of both smile and frown lines#a monster hunter who gets to live long enough to have trouble with the need to slow down#one who has to now deal with the consequences of pushing her body so hard but also gets to live the life those fights won#makes me emotional#it is good to imagine your queer characters getting to get old. :')#person who never thought they'd find a place in the world makes one and lives on
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hmmm... If Klarion and Teekl had their backstory retconned into the "limbotown" stuff, the Sins of The Youth still happen? Tim doesn't remember either of them in Robin 157, and Sins of The Youth doesn't work without Klarion...
Robin 158 gave us this teensy Teekl tho!
#if sins of the youth didn't happen then Lil'Lobo wouldn't happen so Slobo wouldn't happen so-#(JK. I'm aware how retcons work. But I'm sad he doesn't remember :(#I'm also kind of sad that Klarion's reasoning for the Teekl panic was more “Oh no! if he has Teekl the world'll end!”#cause before like- he didn't NEED Teekl for his magic. he just didn't want to live without her.#but I guess he IS more mature n stuff now. but this is like- a fully different guy. and that's kinda sad. He lost his silly. his sparkle.#bonemeal says silly stuff#dc#panels#<- kinda? just one singular teekl and lots of talking#oh yeah but the thing I was talking about whoops I got distracted#It very well could be that Sins of the youth still happened with just like a different guy. or it just didn't happen. but#they'll never talk about that ever so who knows. or cares. (it's me. I care.)#I DID love these issues. I wanna clear that up. I thought they were fun. It was just a jarring retcon for me.
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#The Flash#Cisco Ramon#caitlin snow#Eobard Thawne#eowells#Barry Allen#the great(ish) gifening project#hi season2 here i go again#this was queued and then just... disappeared#queue ate it i guess. had to reupload. best case scenario - the previous version'll get posted an hour from now. or never.#for the next two days i queued *actual gifsets* - one even with text - and now i'm worried they'll get eaten too#one gif is fine. easy to reupload. the whole gifset being eaten will be more upsetting#(if the previous version *does* get posted soon - much later than it was queued for - i'll just delete it)
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Hello Zundamon.
#i built the little plafia zundamon figure kit! i was like#a little scared because ive only ever done like one gundam once years ago#BUT it went pretty smooth and it was fun#a couple tiny pieces i think ill need to glue later (the tiny necktie specifically) but most stuck together pretty solid press fit#her legs fall off all the time while posing but thats just the nature of this type of joint so im used to it#the default and scared face are pre painted but the other four have waterslide decals which was scary cause id never done those before#BUT actually it was chill and pretty easy LOL just finicky#later i guess ill use some doll sealant i have around to seal the decals in#shes so silly....maybe sometime ill get the ankomon ver too...and i think theyre planning on making a zunko#id specifically looooove an itako but i imagine if they do all they'll do kiritan next#which also isnt bad theyre all silly sisters + their weird freak pet zundamon <3#SHE didnt come with a stand i think that was exclusive for like. a limited edition from the companys store#which that will be an adventure trying to find a stand for her.....but somehow i got her to balance for this photo LOL#she canNOT stand by herself 99% of the time tho her big ass head tail thing and tiny feet forbid it#but i had fun building her and now i have a funny little thang on my desk. hello zundamon.#edit: now i will say. my aim is bad when cutting off the plastic nubs#i am going to be stepping tiny plastic bits stuck in my carpet for days <3
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technically i finished my con prep for abc and i could totally be updating the vmd blog more but like.
I bought rune factory 3 special on sale and that's apparently WAY more important rn.
#valkris says shit#i actually like rune factory 2 more than 3 but i know they'll never remaster 2 bc people who like rune factory now wouldnt like 2#they barely like 3#(i.e. rune factory fans who's first entry into the series was 4)#also i guess technically con prep isn't REALY finished#like everything is done on the concert but one of the producers wanted to redo their cover for it. so im waiting on that
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i do sort of feel like i was born with an open wound instead of a heart sometimes. and i can only ever bleed or tourniquet, and neither option wins you any love
#like. you know?#been thinking about the uh... impossibility of it all. the wall i've built and can't break#you just can't talk to anyone about anything. and you can't tell people you can't do something#they'll make you do it or try to do it & you have to be grateful because they're right after all#nothing about me matters or ever has mattered i think#if i can't do something i have to do it anyway so the other person feels better. like they're doing something#i am performing my life for everyone around me#and i'll be honest guys. it is not fucking looking good 👍#idk. sad. sighs really heavy. well i guess i never had a choice in anything so it doesn't make sense to grieve it now#maybe i should cut my arms off so when i say i can't do something someone actually listens to me haha#vent#tbd#i dont wanna talk abt it. shockerrrr
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i don't think i've had a single good day or a good night's sleep in at least two straight weeks 😁😁😁😁😁
#shut up kell#misery! unbelievable despair!#kell what's wrong oh everything. everything actually thank you so much 🫶#i don't think i've ever cried this much in this little time. it's every other day right now#cancelled all my plans. can't even go outside to see my best friend for two seconds to grab her spare key in person. just a write off here#people at work are noticing. can't tell anyone what's really going on bc they'll pity me. and it'll do no good.#didn't finish raw last night and don't even care that i'm gonna miss part of smackdown on friday. that's how fuckin bad i'm doing.#and it will not get better 😁 bc the things that are really getting o me are unfixable in this current situation.#so i just gotta fuckin. wait to get used to this i guess.#just. tired. tired tired tired tired tired tired tired.#i'll delete this later and i'll be fine but i needed to bitch about it somewhere. thanks#i cry and i cry and i cry and i never ever fucking feel any better. i miss my baby brother and i hate that i fucking hate him
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I see it now! I was literally reading and listening about their relationship in your podcast! i really thought that Statice and Nick DESPISE eachother. This AU is interesting, I love it vry vry much. Im not fond of it at first because I can't really Imagine Basil. Basil doing all of that stuff. because he's my favorite character(and I can't really see him being like that). But I eventually learnt to separate them and sees Nick as his own character. Like an actual oc(Still sees him a little bit as Basil if you understand what I mean)( can't wait when Sunny's other friend gets revealed or maybe the parents. *Maybe* they're not that important to the story but the CURIOSITY IS TOO STRONG AND SORRY FOR YAPPING HSJSKAK IT MUST BE TIRING TO ANSWER ANY OF MY QUESTIONS I WON'T DO THAT AGAIN)(Also excuse my grammar also, english is not my first language 😣)
-Anon from the previous previous post.
(the aura I felt after asking that is unimaginable. I used to be so shy to ask anything on people's blog so Im a *bit* proud of my confidence!)
Oh I see !!
Yeah Nick is... more or less an OC, he's got very little to do with Basil now. I refuse to cut of all ties to OMORI/Basil because it's very important to his origins and taking that from him would be taking out a lot of how I personally see him, but, well... He wasn't exactly based off of normal in-game Basil, either, so it makes sense that he's very different. He looks different, acts different, has a different family, age, personality, story, nationality even, different interests... He's like, 70% OC and 30% OMORI AU. Basil is also my favorite character, and that's not how I see him at all either.
I understand why you thought Statice and Nick hated each other — to be fair, there aren't a lot of people who don't hate Nick, lol. Being around him and knowing why he is the way he is makes it easier to love him, though.
#also no parents are important to the story — in nick and statice's case their abscence is what counts even#so i dont think they'll ever even get introduced#i'll do something about the third friend eventually when i'm motivated enough but tbh--#--that plotline is one of the earliest things i worked out about the AU back when it was really just an outlet for venting#so it's not very detailed. i have a very good idea of the events but. yeah since it was for vent purposes and im better now--#--i guess i dont. really want to think about it anymore. lots of things have changed in my brain since november...#i like playing with arsenic and sunny like dolls. it's less about having a concrete storyline and more about playing around with dynamics.#i've always been a slice-of-life person and this is no exception... i'd rather just take snippets of their lives to think about#i like the more mundane aspects. i like putting them in different circumstances and seeing how they'd act#but i'm not super interested in making this a very structured thing with a beginning then story then ending#this au is very personal to me so i guess i like thinking about it and explaining things about it more than i like. making Content for it#there's a difference between Content im giving people and what i do with that AU. so it doesnt end up looking very logical or structured#and it's hard to understand some things if you're from the outside looking in (like statice and nick's relationship for instance)#most of the characterization and info is hidden away in discord chats. sorry everyone#btw ! PLEASE dont be afraid to send more asks i LOVE getting asks like you wouldnt believe#you're not annoying for asking about things i promise !!!!#i love talking about them ! so much !!!#if someone gives me an occasion to talk about them i will NEVER SHUT UP (as im sure you've come to realize by now)#i love asks !!!!!#arsenic#rant#ask#anon
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hello all, happy wednesday ! 😌✨️
the writing has been good during the break, and i am knee deep in plenty of things right now that i plan to return with !! knee deep enough that i'm willing to share a bit more about them. i originally wasn't going to mention them until i fully returned, but i like where i am with many of them !! and therefore — almost want a bit of guidance on what to wrap up first !!
would you mind if i made a lil poll, with what i have ?? 🤔 and i can go in order on where everything ranks ??
still no determined date on when i will come back but !! i want to be here before summer !! 🤗🪻
#i guess !!!#i have lots of options !!#i've been enjoying a guilt-free writing spree LOL#but now i have plenty of things that i could genuinely get lost in in order to wrap them up !! and i just want to know where to begin 🤗#they'll have a teeny bit of information so we're not so lost on what is to come 🤗#hopefully this is okay !!!#not promising a return by next week or anything but — i'm feeling good about where we're headed 😌✨️#i also need to quit tacking on projects or i'll never get done LOL#✿ news
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post-hamlet thoughts
tl;dr my college did hamlet and i was in it and it was cool
first of all, in case i hadn't made this clear already, this was entirely student-produced. i mean, we got some money from the theater department, but people-wise, it was all students.
i've told the rest of the cast this time and time again, but they're so good. insanely dedicated and humbling in their talent.
our hamlet, horatio, ophelia, and laertes were all freshman, and they were all stellar. ophelia and laertes broke my heart every night in the second half with their anger and their sadness. horatio always brings top energy to scenes and had lots of funny moments (espec counting his doubling as the second gravedigger) but also made me feel things (we staged act 4 scene 6 as him alone on stage reading hamlet's letter to the audience and he killed it every time). and our hamlet was just incredible; a pleasure to act against as guildenstern and a pleasure to watch / listen to in their more emotional scenes.
and everyone else was great too! our polonius was always funny but also had genuine moments of connection with his kids; our cladius brought some great depth to the role (his take on the monologue in act 3 scene 3 was great) while still being despicable, especially in his manipulation of laertes; our gertrude brought our director's take on her to life impeccably; and, of course, i had a wonderful and hilarious partner in our rosencrantz :)
not to mention our quartet of players (who also filled out the other miscellaneous roles) who had a ton of great moments. shout-outs in particular to the guy who doubled as the first gravedigger and sang his sung lines as a sea shanty (honestly, i think he could have been a great guildenstern or rosencrantz in another universe).
the crew, of course, was also amazing. there were like 150 cues? my friend (the writer i mentioned in this post) did a fantastic job with the lights. the people behind the staging and makeup did just as well. and the costumes were so fun! everyone looked great; we had a consistent black-white-red-brown color palette that tied it all together. special shout-out to the player king wearing a white shirt with a black cape while cladius wore a zipped-up leather jacket and a white cape.
oh, and me and ros? we got fedoras :) i may share a photo later. maybe.
we did our show in the college black box theater (inside the fine arts building), which i do not currently have the brain cells to try and explain the layout of. it's a kind of weird space, but i think we made the most of it. for the majority of the show i was off stage left, meaning i was hanging out at the top of the stairs which serve as the main entrance and exit to the theater (sitting/standing where i couldn't be seen by the audience obv). you can't really see the stage at all from there but you sure can hear the actors, and by the time of the show that was (mostly) enough for me.
as far as how the actual shows went?
friday was our most engaged audience. their laughter was greatly appreciated in the early scenes ...slightly less so when everyone was dying in the final scene. i mean, i get it, people start dropping like flies and actually foaming at the mouth and spitting out (fake) blood; it's a lot. i applaud hamlet and horatio for staying in character through it. everyone did a great job that night; it was probably better than all our dress rehearsals as a whole.
saturday, at least from my pov, had kind of weird vibes at the start? i don't know how much of it was people getting to bed late the previous night, how much of it was overconfidence, and how much of it was people getting in their own heads, but it was our lowest energy show. the audience wasn't as audibly engaged either, but they did give us a big applause. i felt more good than bad about it by the end, for sure.
especially in retrospect, because, despite us having a smaller crowd at today's matinee, everyone was back on the ball. the ending in particular i think was the best we've ever done it. it was probably my best performance as well.
to be clear, i wouldn't rate any of our three shows below an 8 out of 10, for what that's worth. everyone gave so much to their performances; the funny bits were funny even when the audience didn't seem to think so, and i was always getting caught up in my feelings in the second act. you can't ask for much more than that.
now, here's a compilation of things from the production in no real order:
i already posted about this, but having the blood stains on stage where people die from the beginning of every show? *chef's kiss*
i'll also restate the thing i mentioned in the tags of that post: characters who were murderers had symbolic blood makeup after they killed someone. cladius had a bloody ear from the start of the show, the meaning of which becomes clear once you see the player king get poison poured in his ears; hamlet got blood on their face during intermission that's meant to be polonius's blood; and, arguably most significantly, gertrude had bloody handprints around her neck when she entered at the end of act 4, which, in addition to her hair and arms being dripping wet, is meant to suggest that the story she tells about ophelia's death is, in fact, a cover for something less accidental.
as mentioned above, our director's take on gertrude in general was, from my understanding, pretty different from the standard. to quote from his character spines, "you fundamentally want to prepare your son hamlet to be king; you are playing essentially a game of chess to do so." it was really compelling to see in action. the way she performed act 4 scene 7? chilling.
speaking of those character spines, the first line of horatio's is literally just, "You are in love with Hamlet." and boy howdy did that come through
prime example of that (other than just, all of his and hamlet's interactions, which were wonderful): when horatio finished reading the letter from hamlet, he sniffed it, in a very sweet and very not-platonic way
it was an unintentional running gag throughout the whole process that other cast members would forget between ros and me which character we were playing - to the point that every performance, when hamlet first greeted us, even though i would get to them first, they addressed me first, and it's written that they say my name first, they would call me rosencrantz and our ros guildenstern. ...someone should write a play about that.
i might have posted about this already, but in ros and i's first scene with hamlet, when the two of them start talking about child actors, hamlet made us sit in the thrones, and we would make moves to leave of varying boldness that they, of course, never let us follow through on. this then got basically repeated in act 3 scene 2 except that horatio got to join in on the fun of relentlessly mocking us
(the thing where hamlet handed me their copy of william shakespeare's complete works while they dud the "what is a man" mimi monologue got dropped at some point in the dress rehearsals, unfortunately. they did flip through it with the players though)
during the play within a play, polonius would keep falling asleep and ros and i would keep waking him up
(we also got to do some fun silent banter back in act 2 scene 2 while hamlet and the players were doing their thing)
then the bit after that with the recorders, aka guildenstern's defining moment, was just so fun. hamlet and horatio basically sandwiched ros and me between the two of them, and hamlet and i played off each other very well (at least imo), and though i couldn't see what horatio and ros were doing behind me i know that it got some good laughs. and i could tell every night that the scene landed despite the shakespearean language barrier, so i can't help but be satisfied.
my other best moment was when the king told me to go get polonius's body from the stairs and i got to slump and make a "do i have to?" face before my (final) exit. i managed to actually get some chuckles from that tonight, from the crowd that, again, laughed the least in general, and i can't put into words how euphoric i was to have that be my last moment playing guildenstern.
from the rest of the second half of the show, which i am not in, i will highlight a) the gravedigger eventually realizing after shoveling for minutes on end that he's been shoveling literally nothing (love me a good little fourth wall break) and b) when hamlet and laertes come to physical blows over ophelia, horatio, on his line, steps between them, draws laertes's sword, and takes a stance pointing it at laertes to hold him off, all in basically one glorious motion.
oh, and the ending, of course.
as i alluded to way earlier, we had fake blood and alka-seltzer tablets that the people who died in act 5 scene 2 used to great effect (particularly the people who died via poison)
speaking of that scene, the sword fight was very neat! well-choreographed and well-enacted. real foils btw
and the way hamlet and horatio performed the ending? more than anything, the way hamlet said "give me the cup; let go!" - that shit hurt, in the best way, every night. (and though hamlet died in the king's throne (with the king's crown on), horatio held / clung to them the whole damn time)
for a lighter final note: our polonius doubled as fortinbras and came on at the ending in this huge, heavy, vampire-ass cloak, accompanied by our director as the messenger from england who announces my and ros's death :)
thankfully, we did record our last dress rehearsal, so we do have a version of it that we'll get to watch back in the future. i won't be able to share it with any of y'all (we will apparently be in BIG trouble if we post it anywhere online) but it'll be nice to have for me.
funny thing that happened while i was typing this long-ass post out: i kept using present tense and then realizing i had to change it to past tense. and by "funny" here, i mean, uh... oof.
we never got a perfect run-through where no lines were skipped over, but, i mean, it's fucking hamlet. we did this shit in like a month and a half (with a week lost to spring break); it's more than impressive that the show turned out how it did. it was a group labor of love, and one of the best things i've ever gotten to be a part of.
and i miss it already.
...at least there's movie night on tuesday :)
#hamlet#so excited to introduce these guys to rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead. they'll never see hamlet the same way again#man. i've really missed acting. or rather... being part of a production like this#shout-out to whoever was originally cast as guildenstern but dropped out because they didn't realize a shakespeare play#would be a big commitment#and thereby gave me the opportunity to be in the show despite having been too busy and insecure to audition#i might come back and add more to this tomorrow if i remember more things that i want to have a record of#i could talk more about how rehearsals went#or about the few places in which i may have perhaps done things differently than our director if it wasn't his show#but i think for now this is enough#thank you all for following along on my hamlet journey#i will say that there is a greater than 0 chance that i'll post some shitty hamlet fancomics here in the future#so. if that's something you really want. let me know. i guess.#and again i don't think any of the cast have tumblr#but if you do and you see this: pls never stop acting#i've got your back <3#yes i am posting this at 1 am when i have class tomorrow (today technically). what of it
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#last month i wrote some tags about how i needed to leave my nails alone because i was getting extensions#in the hopes that i would finally stop biting my nails after doing it almost my whole life#well it FUCKING WORKED#i got gel x tips and i loved them sooooo much#but they kept coming off because i have to do so much with my hands especially in water lol#and i have tiny fingers too so the sizes she had weren't quite right#she redid the ones that came off for free for the whole three weeks i wore them!#so i bought her some new tips in tiny person sizes as a thank you lol#for her to use on other clients tho because she recommended this gel overlay system she likes#I've been wearing it for like a week and a half and they are still FLAWLESS#so I'm never going back to anything else lol i'm going to keep getting these pretty much forevwr#but anyway the important part is. that i no longer put my fingers in my mouth to destroy my nails and cuticles#i have real grownup hands now and it's AMAZING#my nail plate is reattaching to my nail bed!!!! like the bed is getting longer#they'll eventually reach the actual tips of my fingers the way theyre supposed to 😍#and the gel keeps the nails hard and almost fucking unbreakable#i had to replace my compulsion to bite/chew with the compulsion to apply cuticle oil lol but it's SO WORTH IT#i look at pictures of how my hands used to look just two months ago and i cant fucking believe i lived that way for DECADES#and i guess this is especially significant for me because my hands have always been a source of shame#not just because my nails were fucking gross and fucked up. but because i have TINY HANDS#like really small hands. not proportionate to my body. AT ALL#especially when i put my hands near my head because i have a slightly larger than average head lmaooo#and my fingers are very thin and just. i have small hands. very weak.#i cant even snap my fingers and make a sound#(do NOT instruct me. i know how to do it. i have been trying my whole life. its not physically possible for my fingers to make that sound)#so having nice nails really fucking helps me 🥹#like i can be proud of my hands even if theyre small#and i dont feel the need to hide them anymore
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