#i dont wanna talk abt it. shockerrrr
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i do sort of feel like i was born with an open wound instead of a heart sometimes. and i can only ever bleed or tourniquet, and neither option wins you any love
#like. you know?#been thinking about the uh... impossibility of it all. the wall i've built and can't break#you just can't talk to anyone about anything. and you can't tell people you can't do something#they'll make you do it or try to do it & you have to be grateful because they're right after all#nothing about me matters or ever has mattered i think#if i can't do something i have to do it anyway so the other person feels better. like they're doing something#i am performing my life for everyone around me#and i'll be honest guys. it is not fucking looking good π#idk. sad. sighs really heavy. well i guess i never had a choice in anything so it doesn't make sense to grieve it now#maybe i should cut my arms off so when i say i can't do something someone actually listens to me haha#vent#tbd#i dont wanna talk abt it. shockerrrr
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