#they’re the ones who don’t know how to act like christians

[the-magic-school-bus]

i hate it, i hate it, i hate it, i hate hearing that it’s still happening. that another family is a victim of these hypocritical churches that call their members “brothers and sisters”, only to abandon them when they need help the most. church’s that abandoned their members the second their life gets just a little messy, just a little uncomfortable, not absolutely perfect.

they’ll push us out, hide us away, because churches are supposed to perfect. not filled with broken imperfect people, who are there because they know they are broken and they know they need God.

i’m so sorry that you have to go through this horrible cycle with the hypocritical christian’s, i wish i could throw bibles at those hypocrites heads make them read it for once, make them understand how they are supposed actually be acting.

this is the reason i want to start a “not necessarily Christian organization” that helps the messy people, the ones in situations that make the church squirm in their seats, we might as well help each other, because God knows the “christians” are not going to

By the way, when I say that the American church has FAILED, this is what I'm talking about:

The email I sent to Focus on the Family a couple weeks ago, identifying information redacted:

Hello,

My name is [redacted] and I followed a link to one of your website's articles - about Biblical discipline - and saw the massive donation solicitation banner at the top of the website, saying any donations would go to families in need.

My mother is very much in need.

She is 61 and severely disabled, mentally and physically. In 2016 she had a stroke, which type has a 70% death rate and of the remaining 30%, the vast majority never recover any cognitive or physical function. She is a medical outlier in that she recovered both - through odds so astronomical it is a blatant miracle she survived at all - to some degree. But now her cognitive abilities are declining, as well as her mobility and eyesight: she is effectively 100% disabled.

She is also currently undergoing an eviction since she can no longer pay rent. She had planned to move into her car, but earlier this week it had an oil/engine failure that will require about $7,000 of work to repair. Her insurance would pay for it, save that she has a $1,000 deductible she cannot afford.

She gets $914 a month in disability.

I am a single mother of three boys five and under; my husband has walked out on us and does not pay child support and I cannot get any legal division to enforce it. I make $1,000 a month, and also do not own a car or have any sort of transportation. I order her groceries online and try to get small expenses for her when I can, and that is the most aid I am currently able to offer.

Right now she just needs her car repaired. But we do not have $1,000 for that deductible.

We have spent weeks calling every phone number and resource in the area and even the state. The churches send us to the government, the government sends us to the NGOs, the NGOs send us to the churches. No one helps.

Your website claims you help families. I looked under the "get help" tab and found nothing of any use, hence this email.

Will you help my family?

Sincerely,

~~~~

I got this in return:

Dear [Redacted],

Thank you for writing to Focus on the Family. Your willingness to share your concerns means a lot to us, and we want you to know we care about you, your dear mother, and your children. 

Our hearts are heavy after reading about the serious financial problems your disabled mother is facing right now. We’re especially concerned to hear that her car has broken down and she has no place to call home. Though we realize you’ve already asked for assistance from churches and a number of organizations, we recommend you contact the Salvation Army. You can visit their website at: Salvation Army: Housing and Homeless Services. We’d also like to mention three more online sources of information: National Coalition for the Homeless,  2-1-1 Get Help,  Catholic Charities USA. We can’t guarantee that they will be able to provide the help you need, nor can we say with certainty that they consistently uphold Christian values and ethics. Nevertheless, we think it would be worthwhile to find out what services are available. Please note that our mentioning these organizations should not be taken as an endorsement by our ministry.

Be assured we’re praying for the Lord to comfort your mother, provide for her many needs, and lead her to a safe place to live. We’re also asking God to surround you and your three young sons with caring people who will offer their support and help you in practical ways. 

Along with praying for you, we invite you to call the Christian counselors on our staff if you think it might be helpful to discuss your concerns with caring professionals. They might be able to offer additional suggestions and useful referral information. To reach them, please call 1-855-771-HELP (4357) any weekday between 6:00 A.M. and 8:00 P.M. (MT). Someone on our staff will ask for your name and phone number in order to arrange for a counselor to return your call as soon as they’re able. This service is available at no cost to you.

[Redacted], we understand you contacted our ministry because you saw a banner on our website indicating that all donations to our ministry are used to help families in need.  In order to provide clarification, we need to explain that the purpose of our ministry is to respond to the spiritual, emotional, and psychological needs of individuals and families. We do this by praying, providing books and other resources, airing broadcasts that address the serious issues many people face, and offering one free consultation with a professional Christian counselor on our staff. The financial contributions we receive are used to accomplish these objectives.

While it’s true that our ministry has been privileged on occasion to provide financial assistance to those experiencing hardships, our capacity to do this is limited as we are primarily a media ministry. Unfortunately, as much as we would like to, we’re not always able to offer monetary aid to the many individuals and families whose needs are brought to our attention. We’re so sorry to disappoint you.

Thanks again for writing to us, [Redacted]. God bless you and your loved ones, and may He always be the strength of your heart and your refuge.

[Redacted]

Focus on the Family

~~~~

I'll hand it to the Catholics. They do try. But their assistance is focused primarily on Catholics - quite understandable - and within their own parishes - equally understandable.

You might as well ask a brick wall for help as any Protestant church. Actually the brick wall probably at least won't - more or less literally - slam a door in your face.

I know good and well that my mother, my family, is not the only one in such dire straits. There is nowhere to turn - least of all our 'brothers' and 'sisters'.

One of these days the leaders of all these churches - these vastly wealthy mega churches and the haughty local churches and all of them - are going to have to answer to Christ about all the blood on their hands of their own people they left to starve and freeze and die in the streets.

(I'd bet good money - if I had any - that they'll have the money to put on a Christmas pageant this year.)

[honoviadakai]

Badly summarizing Hazbin Hotel songs: season 1

Happy Day In Hell:

Local nepo baby is very optimistic for someone who was born and raised in hell but damn it if you don’t find it a little endearing.

Hell Is Forever:

Your gut feeling about the pastor’s son was correct and he is indeed an annoying prick who likes to act God’s always got his back.

Stayed Gone:

Demon Jeff Bezos finds out his Ex is in town, isn’t happy about it and tries to slander the man only for his ex to immediately clap back and serve everyone some piping hot tea.

It Starts With Sorry:

Some of ya’ll are way too forgiving and it really shows…you’re lucky you dorks are adorable.

Respectless:

A 4’11 Millennial bitch serves absolute ✨CUNT✨ at a meeting she didn’t want to attend, local MILF is not amused.

Whatever It Takes:

A MILF and a lesbian sing about how they’d willingly die for the ones they love. It’s sweet but deeply concerning.

Poison:

Local twink took “conceal, don’t feel” way too seriously and now you’ll never be ok again. Have fun in therapy.

Loser Baby:

A DILF and a twink sing about how they’re the biggest losers in hell and it’s the sweetest fucking thing you’ll ever see in your god damn life.

Hell’s Greatest Dad:

2 grown ass men fight for custody over a grown ass woman.

More Than Anything:

The literal king of hell loves his child more than your father will ever love you and you just gotta live with that.

Welcome To Heaven:

The polite Christians are trying to convert you, but they’re really good at show tunes so I ain’t even mad.

You Didn’t Know:

Vindication for everyone who’s the black sheep of their family and now have religious trauma.

Out For Love:

Local MILF hypes up her newly adopted lesbian daughter by telling her love is the ultimate murder weapon.

Ready For This:

Local nepo baby discovers that the fastest way to get cannibals to fight for you is through show tunes and the promise of flesh.

More Than Anything (Reprise):

No, the two leading females are not “just really close friends.” You were told well before this moment.

Finale:

While the main cast is having a Bob the builder moment, 3 local bastards are promising to fuck shit up next season and the person you least expected is having a mental breakdown in the break room.

[kimulus0check]

can I ask for specific hcs? (ex trans characters or sth like that)

I want to make this to what I personally see while also keeping it to character I can. Like for example I don’t think mean little teenage boys from the 90s to early 2000s know what demiromantic means nor are going to know that theres more than two genders. Much less grown ass men who canonically have Facebook. Just a pet peeve

Hyperspecific or weird headcanons

Bill Dickey

•He is a dictionary definition of a sociopath or has antisocial personality disorder; but has never been to the doctors to be diagnosed. He wouldn’t even think there’s anything wrong with him either nor would think he would have any symptoms, even when they heavily show up a lot.

•symptoms of antisocial personality disorder are characterized by: those with antisocial personality disorder tend to lie, break laws, act impulsively, and lack regard for their own safety or the safety of others. Which we see him do by lighting himself on fire to intentionally burn down the comic shop and everyone in it.

•His overall lack for empathy for others is very prominent from the beginning to the end of the comic series.

•He is not gay, but he isn’t straight either. His hatred and Blanton misogyny towards women compared to his almost religous idolization fictional men is something that speaks for itself.

•Deep down he is aromantic. Though I doubt he would find out about this for himself until he’s seventy-five years old or dead in the grave. He dreams and yearns for sexual intimacy but doesn’t want to actually achieve it with a person in real life. He sees sex more as a social status to achieve than something you do with your partner in a romantic relationship.

•my most extreme head canon I mentioned in my general head canon post was that his parents are divorced and his mother has full custody of him and his sister.

•His father used to be very abusive to him and his sister but neither of them really registered that ‘violence and beating each other is bad’ and that’s why they are so violent towards each other and just physically aggressive in general. Also gives a reason why we never see his father.

Jerome Stokes

•is neurodivergent, more specifically having verbal stimming and stutters when trying to say the letter B. Jerry is more high-functioning on the ASD spectrum.

•Hates having his clothes wet, some clothing material like polyesters or cotton and can’t stand certain smells and lights because of sensory issues. But with his friends or if had partner was around him when he was having sensory problems he would mask and try to thug it out even though he is having a mental breakdown internally.

•It would take a lot for him to even open up about his feelings because he emotionally shuts himself off when his with the club members to get less hurt when they shit on his interest in fantasy or get into fights verbal and literal fights.

•Lives with his mother and father but they’re very religious and conservative so they don’t support his fantasy hobbies at all but let him indulge thinking “it’s just a phase”. They don’t really know how to live with the fact he is neurodivergent, specifically his mother. His father works a job with long hours so he is rarely home, if he is home he’s not awake half of the time. So his mother helicopters him and coddles him when he doesn’t need to be.

•The most open minded person of the group, but will follow in the clubs behaviors because he doesn’t want to be excluded or not have friends despite the ones he has right now are god awful.

•Has definitely was sent to Christian camp over the summer in middle school. His mom has found some of his fantasy porn stash in his closet and thought he was going astray from god.

Josh Levy

•Josh is a collective turned organized hoarder and over consumer. He canonically stated in the comics how he lost the passion in his hobbies and now just grasps at any collectibles he can find just to have them.

•sort of a sudo-masochist. Like he would never enjoy pain for his own pleasure but he’d know when he’s miserable and is aware what he does isn’t healthy, but continues to do it because he’s already in the deep shit of it.

•speaking of shit, the fact he only eats certain food products because they have collectibles even though he hates the food and has horrendous bowel movements on the regular makes him so much more sadder because he is willing to borderline torture himself just to collect.

•He comes from a Jewish family and a very religious family at that.

•he has naturally curly hair but he doesn’t shower almost at all so his curls turn into a greasy oily slick mop of a ponytail.

•moles and birthmarks all over his body.

•secretly closeted gay, and has probably online dated with men but will die in his grave than come out to his friends or loved ones.

Pete Dinunzio

•Pete is seen to have some anger issues in the pilot and in the comics like bill, but his anger derives from a sense of justice and fairness (though only when it benefits him).

•lives with a very strict and intense father and a couple older brothers, along with his more lenient mother.

•closeted gay but is homophobic to out gay people because he can’t process his own turmoil and eternalized homophobia. (his family is catholic Italian New Yorkers they probably don’t fuck with gay people.)

•Pete is impulsive and vain. Not thinking about the consequences of his choices like the other boys but his hobbies do take a toll on him more differently than the other three. when he gets older he thrives in an environment where they enable his worst habits and addiction to the point where he is a assistant producer in snuff films, horror porn, etc.

•you could hold the argument where Josh has a similar path in his career as swell, but Josh is only and editor while Pete is a co-producer. Having a higher job title and embedding the fact that this is no longer a new he hobby but apart of who he is in the worst way possible to where he is taking sexual advantage of the women who work for him.

•He wants to be covered in tattoos when he’s older with full sleeves and everything, but in his later years has a couple of five to eight tattoos scattered over his body.

•this is very much a stretch but I think he warms up to people like rigby from regular show. (stay with me-please) He is very distant and mean at first but if he warms up to you he will grow to be very loyal towards you.

[what-even-is-thiss]

If you’re trying to get yourself out of the purity culture mindset of even touching or thinking about “bad” things corrupts people and you’re still Christian or at least still believe in God in some capacity my advice to you is to remind yourself that

A) God is not your judgemental aunt. They see everything and therefore probably have a pretty good understanding of things like harm reduction and how the human brain works considering They invented it. Yours and other people’s involuntary thoughts and coping mechanisms aren’t the enemy winning they’re part of being human and if anything knowing the thoughts you have shouldn’t be acted on is a good sign about your personal character.

B) Certain things you’ve been taught are harmful either aren’t harmful or aren’t as harmful if precautions are taken. Premarital sex is the classic example. Traditionally abstinence was the only reliable way to prevent STIs and unwanted pregnancies but we’ve got the technology now to reduce the chance of that stuff significantly. Besides, if you like it and are being careful and respecting your partners it’s very likely no harm at all will come of it. If you cause no harm on purpose, that’s not a sin. That’s just using what He gave you to have a good time. And even if it was a sin His whole deal is forgiveness. This doesn’t just apply to sex either. Watching media that depicts “immoral” acts, doing drugs, and many other things can be done safely or at least have their impact minimized. Follow your best judgement on these things and when appropriate try to guide people around you to reduce harm in their own lives as well, but don’t try to dictate for them what right and wrong is in their own lives.

C) God basically is the entire universe. They can’t be harmed or destroyed by human action. The universe isn’t a tug of war between God and evil. God made the rope. You or anyone else making mistakes, having a difficult time forgiving someone, sinning, having weird or nasty thoughts from time to time, or doing or making something that blurs the lines between morality or immorality can’t hurt God or the universe. She’s too big for that. And forgiveness and mercy are kind of Her whole thing. One mistake or even many isn’t an earth shattering event. You’ll be okay.

Basically what you need to remember when trying to train yourself out of this mindset of purity culture and never doing anything bad ever is that you need to work to make your default assumption that you’re trying your best, so is everyone else, and judging whether or not something is actually harmful isn’t always a clear cut and easy thing. God understands nuance. They gave us humor as a gift to cope with the struggles of the world. Learning a bit of flexibility with yourself and others isn’t always easy, but you can do it. Rethink your knee jerk reactions. Pray about it if that helps you, and most importantly be kind with yourself and others who are on this same journey. It takes time to unlearn some harmful attitudes you may have been taught. And that’s okay. You’re doing fine.

[graceshouldwrite]

How to Write Devastating Betrayals (Pt. 1)

Here are some elements + tips on satisfying betrayals that will destroy both your characters AND your readers!

1. Relationship Between Trust and Betrayal 

The #1 Betrayal Rule:

MORE TRUST = WORSE BETRAYAL

This is because TRUST implies 2 main things:

The traitor has probably PROVEN their trustworthiness, and now has a shared history + bond with the character they’re betraying 

The traitor probably has access to a LOT OF INFORMATION about the character, whether it’s career-wise or personal. Probably at least some information the character considers STRICTLY confidential 

An act of betrayal undermines Point 1 by manipulating Point 2 to their advantage.

So, if you want your betrayal to DESTROY, have the traitor be CLOSE with the character they’re about to betray. Lets compare examples: 

you are a gang boss. You hire a new recruit who doesn’t really know anything except one insignificant operation, like “today we buy groceries at 2PM”

your recruit tells the rival gang about the grocery trip   

→ betrayal doesn’t really matter that much

you probably didn’t place much trust in a new recruit 

the implications of information leak are insignificant 

→ not much plot weight 

On the other hand:

you find out that the entire time, your RIGHT HAND MAN (also your childhood friend!) has been feeding information to the rival gang and sabotaging your operations 

→ HURTS a lot more emotionally

might ruin everything you’ve built, career-wise, for good 

→ LOTS of plot weight

From a completely SECULAR PLOT STANDPOINT (please don’t come for me, theologians), Judas’ betrayal of Jesus is a good example because:

Judas was one of Jesus’ disciples, a.k.a. the people considered closest to him, and who followed Jesus throughout all of his preaching years

Judas’ information about Jesus’ identity and whereabouts led to Jesus’ crucifixion → LOTS of plot weight (the entire Bible from a Christian standpoint foreshadows this moment, and every point after is spreading word of this moment. Talk about plot implications!)  

ONCE AGAIN, I know all the “Jesus knew and allowed it to happen” “it was the will of God” stuff but this is purely used as a good plot example!!!!

2. Reason for Betrayal

“’Cause it’s super edgy/evil/cool” is DEFINITELY not a valid option. 

All the plot points in a book build towards achieving a goal, and all the characters do things they think will get them closer to what they want. Likewise, the traitor must want a specific thing that ONLY betrayal can get them, or that betrayal can get them more efficiently. 

People generally portray typical traitors as: 

completely selfish with no personality trait aside from infinite ambition and ruthless pragmatism

a hero whose had enough

someone who sees the person they betrayed as a “worthless disposable” or something 

Traitors don’t have to be morally bankrupt, even though betrayal is typically seen as something inherently bad, or just a bad means to a good end at best. 

They can be conflicted about the betrayal (like Macbeth delaying his murder of King Duncan), remorseful about it (like Discord from MLP feeling super guilty after he hands the main protagonists over to the villain), or even do it for the “greater good.”

e.g. Brutus thought Caesar was becoming too power hungry, and would destroy the republic by becoming a dictator, so Brutus betrayed him to preserve the republic 

→ example of a betrayal that was NOT self-serving

However, building on the MLP Discord example, a traitor can also have been manipulated into it themselves. 

(For context, the villain basically promised Discord lots of power if he handed over the protagonists, but then the villain also sucked away Discord’s powers afterwards—won’t bother explaining MLP magic mechanics LOL) 

3. Foreshadow It 

A satisfying betrayal is usually a subtle, looming shadow that creeps over your plot before it makes its grand entrance during the scene when the character realizes the traitor sold them out. 

A good example is in Shakespeare’s dramatization of Brutus’ betrayal: 

Brutus’ loyalty to the REPUBLIC is made super clear throughout. When Caesar starts deviating, seeming more dictatorial, Brutus remains firm.

Their values are CLEARLY conflicting, so SOMETHING has to be done. Either:

they reconcile by both agreeing on either dictatorship or democracy

they turn on each other...and that’s what happens

Basically, planting the possibility in your reader’s mind is a great way to foreshadow a betrayal. 

Other ideas could be: 

traitor begins suddenly acting a lot warmer to the unsuspecting character, or even colder right BEFORE the betrayal

traitor is always TOO obedient and/or sycophantic 

traitor acts suspicious, e.g. caught in lies, using inconsistent body language (ex. pretending to cry when talking about something really bad), caught talking to people they shouldn’t be talking to (e.g. rival gang)

∘₊✧────── ☾☼☽ ──────✧₊∘

instagram: @ grace_should_write

stay tuned for part 2!

Hope this was helpful, and let me know if you have any questions by commenting, re-blogging, or DMing me on IG. Any and all engagement is appreciated <3333

Happy writing, and have a great day!

- grace <3

[cellarspider]

30/30 One last thing.

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We have come to the end of Prometheus. But depending on how you’re feeling about death of the author right now, it’s not. Not quite yet.

Because Ridley Scott had some things to say after Prometheus came out.

Two months after the movie's release, Ridley Scott gave an interview. Its original home has succumbed to link rot, but it’s still available in a couple places, in the Internet Archive and within the corporate acquisition mass that is Fandango, featuring a weird note of brand revisionism in the relabeling of the interviewer’s affiliation.

Now. Let’s begin by saying this: A movie is a movie. The things around a movie are not the movie. This seems obvious, but it’s to say that a single creative work can be viewed entirely free of outside context, and in most cases it’s best to assume that it will. If a director comes out later and tells people what their intent was, then that’s not part of the movie.

…But it can still sit in your brain for years, leaping out to ambush unsuspecting passers-by.

So! This interview. Ohhh, this interview. I’d forgotten most of it, because the final lines of it just knocked the top of my head clean off, so we’ll be discovering bits of this together.

We start from the end of the movie, with the interviewer asking about the openness of the ending to a sequel. Scott, among other things, said:

“I’d love to explore where the hell [Dr. Shaw] goes next and what does she do when she gets there, because if it is paradise, paradise can not be what you think it is. Paradise has a connotation of being extremely sinister and ominous.”

This came across well in the movie, though it was festooned with the random bit of organic bigotry from Shaw toward David. A short answer won’t capture everything, so I still have no idea if Scott intended for that to be so brayingly insensitive, this is the guy who was fine with Joel Edgerton as Ramses II. In any case, Paradise might be ominous, but Shaw’s not bringing along ideas that will improve it by any means.

This isn’t really the film we eventually got from Alien: Covenant. Is that bad? Honestly, I don’t know that either. Shaw as a character did not have a lot of depth in this movie. Noomi Rapace ended up playing her hurt very well by the end of it, but if that’s your standard of quality in horror acting, then Josh Stewart’s leading role in the grungy Saw-adjacent movie The Collector (2009) will serve you well.

I think they could have built something out of her character, but they didn’t. David is definitely the stand-out character from Prometheus, and they do at least focus on him quite a lot. But I’ve yet to watch Covenant, partly because the structure of it does not interest me. Also, because I’ve heard about what David does when he shows up on the new planet, and bad things happening to crowds are one thing that can make my brain wig out something awful.

Speaking of the Engineers, Scott speaks about their character:

“they’re such aggressive f**kers … and who wouldn’t describe them that way, considering their brilliance in making dreadful devices and weapons that would make our chemical warfare look ridiculous? So I always had it in there that the God-like creature that you will see actually is not so nice, and is certainly not God.” 

Again, we find ourselves at the casual gnosticism of the movie, in which the Engineers are kind of the demiurge in this context. Some christian-influenced people assume that if there is a true god, it must be omnibenevolent, and find the violent and threatening behavior depicted in the Old Testament to be at odds with their understanding of divinity. A lack of benevolence is seen as a sign that the figure depicted must be something else, something that may think that it is a god, but it is not truly, regardless of its role as a creator. Hence, the gnostic idea of the demiurge.

But Scott also seems to confirm my suspicion that he’s not aware he’s recreating gnostic cosmogony through Prometheus, because he doesn’t reach for any of the older sources or the language around him. He instead invokes a rather surface reading of Paradise Lost:

“ In a funny kind of way, if you look at the Engineers, they’re tall and elegant … they are dark angels. If you look at [John Milton’s] Paradise Lost, the guys who have the best time in the story are the dark angels, not God. He goes to all the best nightclubs, he’s better looking, and he gets all of the birds. [Laughs]”

Setting aside the fact that Paradise Lost ends with all the fallen angels having a bad time because God’s turned them into snakes, I will give Scott the tiniest bit of credit, there’s a bit of my brain that saw this in the first scene and thought “that is a strong start”:

Scott eventually continues on the Engineers, and the sacrifice scene at the start:

“That could be anywhere. That could be a planet anywhere. All he’s doing is acting as a gardener in space. And the plant life, in fact, is the disintegration of himself.  If you parallel that idea with other sacrificial elements in history – which are clearly illustrated with the Mayans and the Incas – he would live for one year as a prince, and at the end of that year, he would be taken and donated to the gods in hopes of improving what might happen next year, be it with crops or weather, etcetera.”

Scott is misremembering some things here, which is understandable given the off-the-cuff nature of the remark, but it’s still worth correcting. This is a misattribution of Aztec rituals that would involve the sacrifice of a “teixiptla” representative of a god (such as Xipe Totec, Tezcatlipoca, etc). The Inca didn’t carry out this ritual–they did engage in a human sacrifice ritual called qhapaq hucha, but its form and function was not the same. The Classical Maya also engaged in different human sacrifice rituals, but there was also an emphasis on non-fatal self-administered bloodletting–Maya nobility in particular were often depicted shedding their own blood for this purpose, because noble blood had divine qualities.

This also, to my memory, conflates stories of european human sacrifice rituals, where crop failures are sometimes linked to the sacrifice of kings, such as Dómaldr in the Ynglinga saga, and noted in the placement and treatment of certain bog bodies. The Aztecs did sacrifice to the god Tláloc for crop for good harvests, but the rituals involved were quite different.

It should be noted, of course, that Tláloc was later syncretized with the Christian god during the Spanish conquest, likely as a result of conceptually linking Tláloc’s sacrifices to the demand that Abraham sacrifice Isaac. And, y’know, that conquest was concurrent with the Spanish Inquisition, and the wider religious belief that a heretical witch army was being organized by Satan to stand against God to forestall the Second Coming of Christ, with crop failures being the most feared result of their rituals.

I’ve added all these details not because I want to say Scott is bad for misattributing this stuff, people make mistakes. I have several hours’ access to the internet, Scott did not. However, it is worth noting: How we frame an idea can say a lot about how we conceive of it. Variations on these behaviors are found throughout history, and across cultures. Sacrifices and martyrs are powerful symbols still invoked in western culture today. There’s a potential wandering back and forth between appreciation and exoticization that Scott’s engaging in.

Then Scott says something that made me get up from my chair to find a book to shake at my computer.

“I always think about how often we attribute what has happened to either our invention or memory. A lot of ideas evolve from past histories, but when you look so far back, you wonder, Really? Is there really a connection there?”

Yes.

Yes there is. Ancient peoples weren’t stupid. Ancient peoples didn’t even necessarily have less information to work with than any one modern human, they just had different information that kept them alive and finding solutions to their problems, be it “I need to find food” or “how do I meaningfully participate in my culture’s artistic and governmental traditions, and should they even be followed at all?”

If you want a great and thorough examination of that, check out the book I gesticulated with.

Highly recommended. Graeber was an anthropologist and Wengrow is an archaeologist, and the two of them together are a force to be reckoned with. There are definitely subjects covered in this book that I’ve seen from different angles before, and I feel like their interpretation pulls in more context than I’d gotten previously. Especially pertinent to this, the first part of The Dawn of Everything is spent examining the origins of modern western thought on “primitive” cultures and their character and capacity, and then digging into what evidence we actually have on the subject.

But the movie does not, fundamentally, engage with cultures outside of westernized, christian thinking. Not to any serious extent, anyway. It has a certain worldview, and that’s fine. That can be explored intelligently, although we’ve seen that I think it squanders that chance. It’s fundamentally a christian-centric movie.

And despite Scott’s protestations in the interview that they toned it down, quite a few readers have already guessed how far Scott originally intended to go on that.

“But if you look at it as an “our children are misbehaving down there” scenario, there are moments where it looks like we’ve gone out of control, running around with armor and skirts, which of course would be the Roman Empire. And they were given a long run. A thousand years before their disintegration actually started to happen. And you can say, “Lets’ send down one more of our emissaries to see if he can stop it.” Guess what? They crucified him.”

Yes. Jesus of Nazareth was actually Jesus of Space.

This is why the movie says the Engineer corpse died about 2000 years ago. This is why they decided to destroy humanity. 

Presumably the original quote on the cross was “Father, forgive them, for they know not that we’ve got deadly black goo.” Engineer 23:34, I guess.

Now that the screams in the audience have hopefully settled down, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH.

Alright. So, this is bad. Let’s break down why, beyond the obvious questions about “why does nobody ever draw Jesus as bald, huge, and ripped.” Fans have already tackled that–there’s a fake script circulating that has a decent interpretation of this. In their version, a human kid got zwooped up to be taught the ways of the Engineers, and sent back as an emissary. Why? Dunno. Also apparently the gospels that mention Mary and Joseph fleeing to Egypt with the baby Jesus were off the mark by a few lightyears.

No matter the details, this whole premise is laughable to christians, because “what if Jesus was an alien” is the sort of thing that twelve year olds come up with. It’s offensive if it’s taken seriously, because it says their literal god was actually a mortal critter from outer space. Ha! Your god is not all-powerful, or all-good. He’s not even All-Might.

But you know what’s almost worse? It implies that, sure, Christianity isn’t the inspired word of a deity. It also implies some level of exclusive factual accuracy to Jesus’ teachings, not shared with other religions. Jesus was a celestial emissary, endowed with the teachings that could save humanity, and his death doomed the Earth to the Last Judgment.

The Torah is insufficient, and all Rabbinic literature was produced following the rejection of the true way to salvation. The enlightenment of the Buddha counted for nothing, the Dao is not the way, Vishnu cannot defend or restore dharma, the Prophet Muhammad is only so valid as his acknowledgment of the Prophet Īsā ibn Maryam. 

All other faiths are superfluous under this premise. If people had just listened to Jesus and accepted him as their savior, everything would’ve been fine!

This is the one point of alien contact with western canon in the entire setting, after the deep prehistory of Skye. Every other literate culture that was contacted got the Engineers’ message wrong. Or they didn’t listen. Only christians got it right.

That’s incalculably bad. That’s not even counting the fact that the wall o’ artifacts that Shaw and Holloway presented included a notable oversight: the only two artifacts further from Europe than the Middle East are chronologically impossible, based on the movie’s own timeline. It implies the rest of the world was thrown in as an afterthought.

This whole Jesus thing is a piece, a big, jagged piece of why this movie drives me so far up the wall that I’m now residing on the ceiling. It’s not, as far as I can tell, actively malicious. It’s just dumb. It wasn’t thought through the way it should’ve been. If they wanted to do a movie like this, they should’ve gone all-in. Really dig into the implications of what they’ve done. 

And the movie seems wholly ignorant of it. There are basic questions presented to the audience, but there’s no deeper consideration that could make this respectful to anybody.

So, what are we left with?

A mess. A beautiful, stunted, confused mess that was poorly served by its script and lack of conviction.

The movie turned away from asking big questions, and focused instead on traditional horror. A genre that works best with good characterization to drive audience investment, but then it cut out most of the characterization, and what it left was scattershot. It gave us a flashback of Shaw’s childhood before we’d even really met her to understand why it was meaningful for her. The movie then failed to add any emotional weight to her.

The movie failed to give us characters with emotional weight or intelligence. It gave us a single, compelling character in David, driven largely by Michael Fassbender’s delivery and physical performance. It gave us a tactile, carefully constructed setting that was beautiful and often an accomplishment in filmmaking craft, but these spaces remained emotionally empty without a story that gave them meaning. It gave us the potential of something new, and then retreated to imitate the old.

I went into the theater in 2012 looking forward to a good film. I suppose this one has stuck with me more than a good film would have, but its primary value is as a flawed thing to critique, to learn from, and to put tooth marks on when the frustration gets to be too much.

Prometheus got one sort-of sequel in Alien: Covenant (2017), and it seems to have been abandoned. The first trailer for Alien: Romulus just came out the day I’m writing this, and it looks like it’s going to be just a monster movie.

If you want a good, modern Alien, play or watch Alien: Isolation (2014). Apparently its content was recut into a web series in 2019, though I can’t speak to the quality of that. For now, I’m done with the series. I’m not going to be rushing out to see anything new, because I don’t think it’s doing anything new. Prometheus could’ve been a chance to do that, but it failed.

Still. Writing this was fun, I will admit. My weird little obsession with this movie turned into a month and a half of writing and prepping this thing, totaling–Jesus E. Christ, over 82,000 words. I wish it could’ve been about something that hid more intellectual heft or careful thought than Prometheus did, but hey! There’s always next time.

And there will in all likelihood be a next time, as I’ve already started on another document. It won’t be for quite a while, though. This was a lot of fun, but a lot of work as well. I’ll be taking a break, and only releasing more stuff once I have it fully written ahead of time, as opposed to how I handled this one.

Thank you, brave readers, for making it this far. 

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Citations for alt-text rambles:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2023%E2%80%932024_Sundhn%C3%BAkur_eruptions#Eruptions

https://tubitv.com/movies/314320/the-collector 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dettifoss 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codex_Magliabechiano 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tollund_Man 

https://youtu.be/nT2ueyFrVgk 

https://www.deviantart.com/pretty--kittie/art/Prometheus-Engineer-407316113 

https://nebula.tv/videos/hellofutureme-is-netflixs-avatar-any-good 

Overflow Ramble 1

Hey, does anyone else remember Stephen Speilberg’s War of the Worlds (2005)? I saw that in the theater, and I cannot watch that thing again. Yes, I was younger, but the overall content of that movie absolutely shredded my nerves to pieces. Even though I’d grown up knowing the full H G Wells story and reading things like The Tripods book series as a kid, Spielberg managed to make a movie that felt so viscerally unpleasant to me that it gave me nightmares for years.

My main theory is this: You know in movies that the protagonist is almost certainly going to survive what happens, doubly so in War of the Worlds because it was goddamn Tom Cruise. But my brain did not treat Tom Cruise as my viewpoint character. Something in me says “well, I’m not Tom Cruise, I’m one of those other people around him, and they’re all gonna die horribly.” 

This tends to happen with me in disaster films and similar stuff like that. I have to be real certain I want to be there if I watch a kaiju movie, for example. I can do Godzilla (2014), but I’m not so sure about Godzilla Minus One (2023). Shin Godzilla (2016) is off the table.

Horror movies have to hit a balance of giving people a rickety feeling of potential safety they want to preserve, rather than letting them feel too safe or too screwed. Too far either way and you lose people, either to apathy or just pure bad vibes. The paradox of enjoyable horror is that it can’t scare you too much.

Overflow Ramble 2

I personally don’t think the tone of Fede Álvarez’s horror fits with what I’m looking for in an Alien movie. The xenomorph life cycle worked best and most subversively when it was deliberately targeted, to take the sexual/reproductive menace usually placed on female characters in horror and forced it onto a male character instead. Álvarez has historically played that trope straight instead. From a horror perspective, that’s boring to me. The xenomorphs also appear to be aggressive monsters here rather than animals, more like Aliens than Alien. Not my favorite interpretation.

And to be honest, when I saw the trailer, my first thought was “Oh, it’s Sevastopol Station.” The setting looks exactly like Alien: Isolation, and there’s not a chance the movie’s going to outshine Isolation. That game’s only narrative sin was a bit of slow pacing toward the ending. Romulus’ trailer makes me think it’s going to go too far in the other direction.

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[lestappenforever]

Hellooooo it’s your social psychological anon back because I just caught up w the gossip from this week about Ferrari contracts and what not and have some thoughts on this.

We know F1 is -as many TPs out it- super cutthroat and have insane politics going on behind the scenes especially with drivers and contracts. I think Ferrari themselves leaking that they are trying to get Charles to sign was a very bad move especially because the public isn’t reacting how they expected, instead of pressuring Charles to sign which is what they most likely expected to happen, they’re mostly telling him to make a move or laughing at Ferrari who think they can keep Charles with their performance. But more importantly I think that the move was also a breach of Charles’ confidence that has already been shattered after Ferrari gave him a car with an engine that almost exploded (the timing of contract negotiation rumours is even worse now) because instead of Ferrari recognising they screwed up and giving Charles time, now they pulled a dirty move to not only pressure him from within but also try to summon the masses to pressure him from outside (which isn’t working).

We all made a huge deal about Charles liking the “Charles x Verstappen laps” (as we should) but it’s so incredibly sus that to this day that is the only thing he has liked post-Brazil. I really don’t know if it is a calculated PR move, foreshadowing a move to red bull, intended to put pressure on Ferrari in return or he just thought it was cool and “hey look it is me and Max and we are so cool”. I don’t think it matters because it is still indicative of his lack of engagement with Ferrari and- in my opinion- an increasing disillusionment with the team.

I generally have an issue with most, if not all, Charles-rbr interactions being framed as Charles putting pressure on Ferrari. Because it makes it extremely difficult to understand the general change in Charles-rbr dynamics because not once has it been Charles initiating contact with the red bull members (not drivers)- it has so far been them congratulating him, giving him soft pats and handshakes, the continuous “Charles” on the radio even from GP (who actually sounded so sad for Charles and also saying “Charles stopped” instead of “charles (Leclerc) crashed/is in the wall” is also v specific because at that point for them it must have looked like charles lost control and it had nothing to do with engine or hydraulics but I digress it’s just an interesting thing to consider) which leads to the logical conclusion that Christian has summoned the rbr team to try to convince Charles by acting super friendly, or the team knows of ongoing negotiations and are de facto bringing charles into the team by acting as if he is an honorary member because as we have said previously this isn’t standard behaviour other teams don’t just congratulate drivers from another team and this has never happened before even with charles and red bull so something obviously changed and it’s coming from the rbr side of the garage.

Also brief mention of Daniel and Charles leaving the same restaurant? Because if anyone can convince Charles that rbr is the place to be not from a data and championship winning capacity (that is self-evident especially with rbr looking like they will dominate till 2026 and also nail the 2026 qualifications unlike Ferrari) but from a team pov it will absolutely be him. He is the one who left rbr and was miserable before rbr took him back and he felt as if he was coming home. If it was actually a case of rbr sending him or if they just had dinner the topic defo came up and but the timing seems to me to be more of a strategic choice than a coincidental meeting.

Going back to online behaviour- thus far no comment or like or repost of the Ferrari livery or Las Vegas special suit announcements (unlike Carlos), just no mention of Ferrari since Brazil except the one post. At the same time someone pointed out that charles stopped doing race highlights after Suzuka on IG and because all Ferrari and other drivers do these I think that it might be a clause in the contract related to PR duties and their online presence. The fact that charles hasn’t done them even when he has had a good race is even more suspicious considering everything with rbr started- or became more intense- after Japan.

Anyway, lots to unpack here defo lots of moving parts and it seems like Charles and Ferrari relationship looks like it will be getting bitter and I am willing to bet that the DTS episode where Christian is dissing Ferrari for potentially endangering their drivers is already in the making- it would be a huge PR move to criticise this publicly at the next press con but this may come across to Charles as also putting pressure on him and I think it’s obvious that rbr is taking a coaxing approach where they know it is only a matter of time before Ferrari will shove Charles into their arms, all they have to do is show him that they are welcoming.

Anyway, can’t wait to see all the drama that will defo go down next week but for now thank god we don’t have a race weekend because it would probably be a bit too much for us. So happy non- race weekend 🫶✨

Oh, social-psychological anon, how I have missed you. Welcome back! ❤️

Once again, you’re bringing such an interesting and wonderful take on the current situation with Charles/Ferrari/Red Bull. And I must say I agree with everything you’re mentioning, but one thing I feel like I want to add a bit more to is the mention of the perspective that the increased amount of Charles/RBR interaction is nothing but a ploy for Charles to secure himself a more lucrative deal with Ferrari.

You and I are in the same boat here, and my personal opinion on why Charles using his interactions with Red Bull to secure a better deal for himself doesn’t make sense is because:

1. His actions don’t align with the narrative (the lack of posting/interacting with Ferrari content recently, the entire vibe of Charles' relationship with his beloved team just seeming off).

2. I don’t think he needs to. Scuderia Ferrari is a historic team, and it’s not exactly a secret that appearances mean everything. So if Charles truly just wanted a better deal, better terms, more money, all he would have to do is go to his team and say: "These are my demands. If you don’t meet them, I will leave." That contract would have been drawn up in a matter of hours.

3. Red Bull Racing is a huge institution that would never play along with something like that. If there was any belief whatsoever internally at Red Bull that Charles was using them to try and secure a better deal for himself at Ferrari, they would shut that shit down immediately. But they haven’t. They are, as you said, treating Charles as if he is an honorary member of the team, and there is no way in hell they would do that if it wasn’t for their own gain. Now, whether that gain is getting Charles to come to Red Bull, or if it’s because they know what an excellent marketing strategy it is, I have no idea. Only time will tell.

Charles is incredibly smart, and so fucking well trained in terms of PR and how to present himself to the world at large. He's calculated, and the way I see it, his recent change in behavior, on the grid, off the grid and on social media, seems more of a sign that he is reaching (or has reached) his limit with Ferrari, and even though it probably breaks his fucking heart to face it, Ferrari isn’t the team who can give him a World Championship. And no amount of deep-rooted love and loyalty is going to change that, no matter how badly he might want it too.

At the end of the day, all we can do is speculate (and anon, I fucking love speculating and your amazing insights), but you are absolutely right. Something has shifted in Charles, in his relationship with Ferrari, and in his relationship with Red Bull, and I cannot wait to see where that leads.

Social-psychological anon, I love you so much. Please stay with me forever. ❤️

[ynbabe]

TASM!Peter x Male reader- incorrect quotes

Cause that boy was fruity as FUCK and we were ROBBED! ROBBED I SAY-

Y/n: We’ll get back into there or die trying. Peter, trying to Spidey: No one’s dying. Y/n, a civilian, just trying to help: Not with that attitude.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Peter: Y/n likes to win. When he were 8, a little Club Scout friend of his bragged they could sell the most cookies. Peter: Damned if Y/n didn't walk the neighborhood till he got blisters on his feet, and won by 10 boxes. Y/n: Best part is, I wasn't even a Club Scout.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Harry, after someone insulted Peter: Murder literally doesn’t hurt anyone! Peter: What are you talking about? Of course— Y/n, holding out a hand to shut Peter up: No, no, he has a point—

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Gwen: But what about Y/n? Harry: Don't worry about him. Harry: I once watched him fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating his hotdog like nothing happened. Peter: Well, you were the one who pushed him.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Harry, professional instigator: Hi could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire? Y/n, professional fool: Microwave for 40 minutes. Gwen, professional ‘my boys are stupid’ boys haver: WHY WERE YOU MICROWAVING A LEMON?! Y/n: I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells and I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges, but I didn’t own any pots… Peter, currently microwaving a grape: Did you burn an orange too? HOW?! Y/n: Microwave for 40 minutes.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Peter: Small creatures are much more vicious because they have a smaller body to bottle up all their emotions. Harry: Ridiculous. Give me some examples. Gwen: Wasps? Y/n: Terriers? Peter: Y/n.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Gwen, watching Peter and Harry fight: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they get hurt? Y/n, not bothered by the chaos: It’s fine. They’re too evenly matched to hurt each other. Gwen: Then... who’s the strongest out of you three? Peter, with superhuman powers but a Y/n lover: Y/n. Harry,  doesn’t want Peter to kill him: Y/n. Y/n, delusional and gay: Me.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Harry: Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, and wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Peter: That's deep. Y/n: That means that ketchup is a smoothie. Peter: That's deeper. Gwen: ...You guys are idiots

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━.

Peter: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute. Gwen: No, that's not how you make cookies. Harry: FLOOR IT!! Peter: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!? Gwen: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN- Peter: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES! Y/n: DO IT! Gwen: NO-

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Gwen: Blue M&Ms are the best. Y/n: whAT IS THIS SLANDER? Gwen: What about it? They are. Y/n: I WILL NOT ALLOW SUCH LIES ON MY CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER! Y/n: THE RED ONES ARE THE BEST! Gwen: YEAH? WELL YOUR MOM'S A HO! Peter, trying to stop them: They're all chocolate inside, the colors don't mean anything. Harry, to stop peter from stopping them: I like the yellow ones. Gwen and Y/n: SHUT THE FUCK YOUR MOUTH!

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Peter: Why do you act like we’re three year olds? Gwen, exasperated: WHY?!? Gwen points at Y/n: YOU HIJACKED A COP CAR! Gwen points at Harry: YOU NEARLY TRIED TO KILL PETER! Gwen points at Peter: AND YOU THREW YOURSELF INTO A STORM MADE OF LIVING ELECTRICITY! Gwen: AND YOU ASK ME WHY????

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Gwen, in a room with Peter, Harry, and Y/n: It’s calm in here. Gwen: It scares me…

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Harry: *is hugging Peter* Y/n: Hey! It's my turn to hug Peter! Y/n: *grabs Peter* Harry: *pulling Y/n off Peter* What do you mean, "yOuR tUrN"? We agreed now is my time slot! Y/n: No, It's my turn! Peter: *suffocating* Guys, I love you, but just because you guys tried to kill me doesn't mean you can be hugging me to apologise constantly! Y/n: But we need the moral support! Harry: And you're small! Which is cute! Y/n: If we don't hug you right now I think our guilt will kick in and our bodies will stop functioning. Peter: *close to tears* Well- I, I guess.

[oletus-writer]

Andrew NSFW Alphabet

Warnings: nsfw

(Some parts are from this post)

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

His first instinct is to hide himself, to not face how embarrassing the situation is, regardless of whether or not he wants to be there and pamper you. Andrew doesn’t have experience at all, and doesn’t know that you’d need to stay behind and make sure the partner is alright.

B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

He doesn’t have a favourite part of his body, but if ask him his least favourite part, the list never ends. Maybe his hands aren’t that bad - sure, they’re scarred, but the warmth he feels when your hands intertwine is the sweetest honey. Of course, he loves every part of you; you’re the saint that his pilgrim hands can’t touch. He’s especially fond of your face, as it is seared into his memory, lest he forget it when you inevitably die. He definitely would have a locket with your face in it, if you permit it.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

While he’s a virgin, he also doesn’t cum immediately. His skin is rough from the years of work, and while he is somewhat sensitive, the knowledge that it is you, the person he loves, he’s having sex with is the thing that tips him over the edge. His cum is light and stringy, and a moderate amount comes out.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

While semi-public sex isn’t his thing, there are some times where he finds himself rather distracted in matches, regardless of what you’re wearing. He also wouldn’t mind sex in The Red Church, if it’s only the two of you, pressing you against the altar and worshiping you like you were the only god present.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

He has no idea what the fuck he’s doing.

F = Favourite position (this goes without saying)

Andrew enjoys vanilla, missionary sex, although it’s slightly off putting that you can see his face throughout the whole ordeal. No doubt he looks hideous while he’s cumming. Doggystyle fixes that problem, although that would mean he cant see your face, either.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’s a stammering, shaking mess, and therefore won’t have enough energy to think of jokes. Perhaps tell a few to soothe his nerves, although he might misinterpret it and think you don’t want to have sex with him. He would appreciate it more if you sat him down and told him stories of your embarrassments in sex, and encouraged him to do his best.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes?)

There wasn’t anyone who told him he had to be neatly groomed, and if you are, he’d suddenly feel very self-conscious. He doesn’t mind if you are; he doesn’t see much of a point in shaving.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? are they romantic?)

Sex, to him is an intimate thing, saved for his lover alone. While he might not prepare candles (might set the manor on fire) and wine and dine you (can’t cook a good steak) beforehand, the act is intimate in his heart. He thinks it’s one of the things that ties the souls together.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcannon)

He was raised as a Christian, so he was taught not to touch himself, as it was a sin. However, he began masturbating after he met you, when he couldn’t keep his lust under prayer and reflection.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He’s pretty vanilla - degrade him, and you’ll hurt him, let him tie you up and he feels uncomfortable, etc. While he’s willing to try things to an extent, you’ll have to be patient when introducing him to your kinks.

L = Location (favourite places to have sex)

There’s always the lingering paranoia that someone would stumble upon the two of you in his room, even if he’s locked the door. The beds in White Sand Street Asylum are a bit of a safer bet, but it’s dirty, and who knows if that map would suddenly be in commission. Besides, an abandoned building isn’t the most romantic place to have sex in… For now, he sticks to the bedroom.

M = Motivation (what turns them on?)

He’ll be turned on even if you’re wearing the most prude clothing. The way the fabric falls from your figure, how you move, etc. His mind would overthink everything, and a kiss on the cheek where your hand lingers makes him realise how busy he was with matches, and how he should make up for it.

N = No (what turns them off?)

He doesn’t like degrading, as it makes his insecurities worse, and he’s less likely to try to have sex with you soon after. He also doesn’t like degrading you either, as he doesn’t want to put you down for whatever reason.

O = Oral (do they prefer giving or receiving? how skilled are they?)

Both giving and receiving oral gives him anxiety - he’s worried he’d mess up, and he doesn’t like how the attention given to him makes him feel self-conscious about his reactions. With that being said, he prefers to give oral, as worshiping you feels natural.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?)

He prefers a slower pace, whether he’s giving or receiving, although he can’t deny being at the receiving end of a rough pace doesn’t feel good.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies)

Andrew doesn’t understand the notion behind quickies, give him head before a match as a ‘good luck’, and he might just change his mind.

R = Risk (are they experimental? do they take risks?)

As I’ve said before, getting him to try out new things would require a lot of coaxing and patience, and there’s a limit to what he’s willing to try. Anything between daddy links and roleplay, he’s willing to try, but anything kinkier than that he’d pass.

Andrew doesn’t like taking risks, especially those that may impact your health. Being a gravedigger, he knows how many diseases the body can carry, and won’t stand for unprotected sex.

S = Stamina (how long do they last?)

Andrew, while a virgin, does have good stamina from his exercising, and if he’s not emotionally drained after one round, he can go for another.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them?)

He doesn’t know of many sex toys, and usually won’t use them. Of course, if you ask, he’s willing to put a vibrator in your hole while you suck his dick, but he’s somewhat hesitant to get the same treatment. Although, he might be willing to try some on himself, in private.

U = Unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

He doesn’t like teasing - he’s far too willing to give you whatever you want. There are also times where he thinks he’s being too harsh denying the things you’re begging for.

V = Volume (how loud are they?)

He tries to suppress his voice, at first, but when he’s more comfortable, he’s moaning and grunting. You won’t hear much dirty talk from him, as he’s much too shy to say such a thing. He’s also rather hesitant to communicate during sex, as he doesn’t want to disappoint you, so you’ll have to prompt him by asking if it feels good, etc. Sit him down beforehand and have a conversation about good communication during sex, and be stern about it, and then maybe he’ll tell you how he’s feeling.

W = Wild card (a random headcannon for the character)

If he’s in a polyamorous relationship (think VALE), he’s more than happy to stay on the sidelines and watch. However, if you’re in a monogamous relationship, he’s adverse to the idea of sharing.

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

As he is an albino, his dick is as pale as the rest of him, flushing red at the tip when erect. It’s about 5.6 inches (14.2 cm), and a bit thicker than average.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is a bit lower than average, as his heightened anxiety makes it hard for him to think about sex; the drive mainly comes from wet dreams and roaming thoughts.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He’s got a weak body, so regardless of the role he took in sex, and regardless of the intensity, he’ll be a tired mess. Perhaps you could convince him to drag himself out of bed for the day, but it’s unlikely he would be able to function as a normal person. It’s either sleep or a poorly programmed auto-pilot.

[darling-i-read-it]

The Pairing

Pelle x fem!reader

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: not edited because who can be bothered, midsommar type things (cult, murder, people mysteriously going missing, a weird pairing ritual that includes murder, mentions of dani's trauma, mention of incest), I tweaked the plot a bit to fit the request

Author’s Note: Helly dear I hope you enjoy this! I left it open ended because I figured it was safe to leave the reader up to what they would do. Personallllyyyy I think after trauma bonding I could be swayed into a weird marriage lol. Enjoy(?)

Requested: by anon, Hi! Since you still write for Midsommar (which makes me very happy 🥳) and I saw your requests are open... I got one. The reader is friends with the group, she's Dani's best friend, and of course Pelle has a thing for her, he always tries to make any sort of excuses to touch her. She's invited to Sweden along the rest, and she's tricked into a sort of ritual where it's "decided" that Pelle and her are to be married. When she finds out she's mad and she wants to leave. Then you decide how to end it. Like she stays? She escapes? Is she kidnapped? You choose.❤️❤️❤️ I basically just found your blog, and I read almost all your work, and I love it! You're a great writer 👏

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

“Do you remember Pelle?” Dani asked. You looked up from your phone. She was sitting on her bed, against the wall, arms wrapped around herself as she thought. Her phone had been recently discarded on the bed. You were sitting at her desk chair. You thought about Pelle, the gentle guy with the gentle smile. 

“Yeah sure. He’s nice. Why?” You meant he was nice in that he was nicer than the rest of Christian’s friends. They were okay but they were guys and tended to act that way no matter who was around. 

“He’s invited me to Sweden with him and the others.” You raised an eyebrow. 

“They’re going to Sweden?” 

“Pelle lives there,” she explained. “He’s going home and everyone else is going to visit where he lives. It’s supposed to be some kind of commune or something.” You sat up, putting your phone down. 

“Are you going?” She shrugged. 

“I don’t know if he wants me there. Christian, I mean. I don’t know if he just invited me to be polite.” 

“You said Pelle invited you.” 

“Well he seemed happy I was going but I don't really know him. I mean, he talks to you more than he talks to me.” You shrugged. You and Pelle had been friendly through the semester, simply because you go whenever Dani wants you to and Christian drags his friends around like dead weights. You narrowed your eyes at her, unsure what she was getting at. 

“Do you want to go?” 

“Yeah, I think so. I mean, I should get out of the house right?” You nodded. 

“I think it’s a good opportunity. I mean, Sweden! That’s so cool.” 

“Pelle extended the invitation to you as well,” Dani explained. You raised an eyebrow. You didn’t know the others that well and you knew Christian about as well as anyone knows their best friend's boyfriend. “You don’t have to come but I think I would be more comfortable if you were there too. I’m not sure how I’m going to react and I don’t know Christian’s friends that well and I don’t know the place and-”

“Relax Dani. When is it? I’ll check my schedule.” She grabbed her phone and started to scroll through, looking through the dates. 

“We’d get there on my birthday.” You smiled a bit. 

“That’s perfect. I didn’t think you should spend your birthday here anyway.” You shrugged. “I’ll go. I mean, I should probably look at how much it’ll cost and stuff but it could be fun. Right?” You didn’t deny how nice it would be to spend more time with Pelle, this time on his home turf. 

“Really?” You nodded, shrugging. She smiled easily, shoulders dropping the tenseness. 

“Yeah Dani. It’s for your birthday, how about that?” 

-

Pelle grabbed your hiking backpack as you approached the car. The drive was supposed to be over four hours and you were all stuck in the same van, along with all your luggage. You weren’t exactly excited for the overwhelming boy aura that would come along with it. 

“Thank you,” you said, gently. He nodded once, a kind smile on his face. 

“Of course. I’m so glad you could come,” he expressed. 

“Me too! It’s so exciting to see your home.” He shut the back of the car. Everyone else had gotten into their spots in the car. You called shotgun the second you got off the plane and you were grateful for it. Dani was squished in the back beside Christian, her window already down for some air. The sticky hot air was indicative of a nice morning turning into a nice day. You hoped this car had air conditioning. “Is there anything I should know? I’m sorry I don’t know a lot of Swedish, other than what you taught me.” 

Pelle had been giving you words here and there, trying to get you to pronounce things correctly. It was kind of a lost cause but it was fun regardless. 

“It’s probably going to be foreign at first. There are some things Americans aren’t exactly used to.”

“Like what?” “It’s easier for you to just see. But I assure you, you’re always safe.” He walked to the front of the car. You stood there a moment longer, unsure why you would need to worry about your safety. You pushed it out of your head, walking to the passenger seat. “Everyone buckled in?” Pelle asked, turning the car on. 

There was a chorus of yeah’s, followed by a couple seat belts buckling in. You adjusted to be comfortable in your seat and prepared for the drive. 

“Keep your hands, arms and feet inside at all times,” you joked. “The show is about to begin.” 

-

The hike to Pelle’s home was nice, if not a bit hot. Eventually you found yourself settled into beds, backpacks finally down, feet resting. You were itching for a shower but didn’t want to ask about it. You had been showered with kindness, large slightly unnerving smiles and flower crowns. Pelle sat beside you in the grass as everyone started to explore. They found themselves in their own bubbles, the dancers and the educators. Even Dani was able to find some sort of place alongside those who were making dinner. You kept a keen eye on her, just in case. 

The sun not going down tripped up your inner clock. It had to be closer to midnight than it was to midday. 

“This place is beautiful,” you admitted and you meant it. The sense of disconnect from the rest of the world was somewhat jarring. You could tell how someone could enjoy a life out here. “I can’t imagine why you’d ever leave.” Pelle smiled gently. He was leaning back on the palms of his hands. You picked at the overgrown grass under your fingertips. 

“It’s slightly limited,” he assured you. “I wanted to see what the rest of the world had to offer.” You shrugged. 

“Then decided to come back?”

“This is my home,” he said wistfully. 

“Home is where the heart is.” He nodded once. You looked back towards him, squinting in the sun. He seemed used to it, like it had no effect on him. “That was cheesy.”

“But true!” he promised. “Things are cheesy for a reason.” You laughed a bit. 

“I think that's a classic,” you argued. He shook his head. “When does the sun set?” 

“I thought I told you earlier that it doesn’t.” He leaned forward and gestured to the blue sky. “The midnight sun can go for days. Sometimes just a day, depending on the time of year.” You nodded, opening your mouth to ask another question when Ingemar approached the two of you. 

“Good evening,” he said happily. 

“It’s evening?” you scoffed. “See, this whole thing is messing with my inner clock. You got a wristwatch?” Both men shook their heads. You weren’t sure why you even asked. They probably still used the stick in ground timing method out here. Or maybe they didn’t even care and simply went about their days as thought time didn’t matter at all. You weren’t sure you could ever adjust to that.

“May I sit?” You and Pelle nodded. He sat down beside Pelle, getting comfortable on the hillside. “Are you both ready for the pairing tomorrow?” Pelle gave Ingemar a look. 

“What pairing?”

“It’s silly, really. It’s part of the festival.”

“You haven’t told her?” Ingemar questioned. He laughed, making you feel left out. You weren’t sure why Pelle wanted all of this to be some sort of mystery to you. You wondered if it would lose its charm if you knew what was going to happen. But the pairing sounded somewhat sexual and you wanted to know if you were entering a sex cult or something. 

“After the Attestupa tomorrow the elders make five pairings of people. It’s like…superstition. Whichever pairing seems to be best put together by the end of the festival gets to be married.” You scoffed. 

“Married? Like a legit wedding?”

“As legit as we get around here. There is no paperwork or church to defy,” Ingemar explained. 

“What’s the Attestupa?” you asked. You didn’t want to be insensitive to everything going on but you poked around for the sake of your sanity. 

“Another thing easier seen than said,” Pelle explained. 

“You are being awfully mysterious Pelle. Should I be worried?” He shook his head. 

“No, not at all.”

 -

After the Attestupa you were about to leave. Dani’s panic attack, which was justified after the events you had all witnessed, caused you to jump into protective mode. It was too early in her grieving process to be seeing death at all, let alone death right in front of her. It didn’t matter what kind of processes the people here went through, she needed to leave. 

It was Pelle who convinced you both to stay. He apologized, assuring you both that nothing like that would happen again soon. It was part of the world he grew up in and didn’t think he needed to protect you from something he saw as normal. 

You waited for Dani’s go ahead. When she said she would stay, so did you. 

Then came the pairing. 

The elders gathered everyone around the table again. They had a scroll out in front of them and you stood next to Dani, teetering back and forth on the balls of your feet. Pelle assured you there would be no deaths here. This was about the rebirth of those who had just died, the children that would be had from the couples paired together. You looked around, wondering which people had been waiting for this their entire lives. 

Then your name was called. 

Pelle and you. 

Ingemar and Connie. 

Then other names you didn’t know, people that had lived here their whole lives. Your eyes were still bursting out of your head from the time they brought you and Pelle up, gave you intertwining floral headgear and showed you to one of the private cabins. 

Simon was still yelling from outside about Connie, wanting to drag her away, unsure of the reason she had been chosen. Dani watched you go but couldn’t grab you. She wanted to give you a thumbs up but didn’t have the heart to, unsure if you were going to die the second you were away from her eyeline. 

When you were inside the cabin you took off the flower crown. You placed it on the bed halphazerdly., turning to Pelle. 

“Okay, what the fuck is this?” you questioned. “Ingemar has a crush on Connie and now they’re paired together? What is this Pelle? Please.” He approached you and you didn’t back away. You still felt safe with him, even after all the things that had happened. You truly believed he wouldn’t hurt you. 

“It’s not like that, I promise.” He put his hands on your arms, trying to center you. “They pair up some of the visitors every Midsommar,” he assured you. “I had no idea it would be you and I or Connie and Ingemar. They have to pair up some outsiders to avoid any incentuous children, they aren’t doing it from any kind of ill mind.” 

It felt weird. In this room, alone, when you had just been in a group housing situation. You already wanted to see Dani. 

“This is weird Pelle.” 

“I understand it isn’t normal. But they aren’t forcing anything on us, on you. We’ll sleep here but it would be normal, as though we were sleeping a couple feet away in the group house.” 

“So we don’t have to do anything right?”

“There will be a few pair games but those are normal. Like…compatibility games. They aren’t dangerous, I assure you. Do you trust me?” You swallowed hard, meeting his eyes. You nodded slowly. 

“I think so. Yes,” you promised. He nodded. 

“You’re allowed to leave and see Dani and our friends. Don’t worry.”

“What about Simon and Connie?”

“I’m sure Connie and Simon will see each other again soon. There’s no need to worry about them.” You nodded. 

“At least they paired me with you. They could’ve paired me with Christian and I could've drowned him in the toilet or something.” Pelle gave you a small laugh. He put his hand on your arm, softly. 

“Let’s have dinner alright?” You nodded, following him out of your cabin.

-

“So it’s like a game?” Dani questioned. “Why couldn’t they put Christian and I together. Maybe then he’d finally think about marriage.”

“You don’t wanna marry that guy,” you said, shaking your head. You were sitting by the gardens together. Pelle was harvesting some food and you watched, for moral support. “Pelle says it’s like a game. Whoever is most compatible at the end gets married.” 

“Legally?”

“As legal as this all is,” you said. 

“Did you see that Simon left this morning? Without Connie. Hitched a ride,” Dani explained. You shook your head. 

“Really?”

“Yeah. Someone took him in the car into town.” You didn't know the guy well but were surprised. They seemed really close. Engaged, if you remembered. 

“Pelle?!” you called. He turned around, putting the shovel into the dirt. 

“Yes?” 

“Did you hear Simon left?” He shook his head and walked over. He was sweating from the sun. His white baggy shirt clung to his chest. You were grateful again that you were paired with him out of anyone, the slight crush growing with the coincidence. 

“I didn’t. Who told you this?”

“Ingemar,” Dani explained. “When Connie went looking. Do you think Christian would do something like that?” You wanted to scoff and answer honestly. Instead you met Pelle’s gaze and shook your head, lying. 

“I’m sure he wouldn’t.” Pelle extended a hand. 

“Would you like to help me?” 

“Looks like hard labor.” 

“I promise I’ll make it easier. Come.” You reached out and let him help you stand. You glanced back at Dani, who smiled, squinting under the sun.

“You guys are cute. Sure to win best pair.” You rolled your eyes. 

“You get to be the maid of honor.”

“The may queen traditionally get’s that spot,” Pelle explained. You raised your eyebrows to her. 

“Better get your dancing feet ready.”

-

“Have you seen Josh?” Dani questioned. She stood in front of your cabin door, concern lacing her voice. You rubbed your eyes. Pelle had let you sleep in a bit, allowing you to skip breakfast and bringing some back. You shook your head. 

“No. Not since yesterday. Why?” Her jaw set. 

“I can’t find him.” 

“Isn’t the May Queen thing today? I doubt he’d miss that,” you offered. “Plus, I have a compatibility thing today too.” Dani nodded tightly. You were right. Josh would show up eventually. 

“Can you ask Pelle if he’s seen him?”

“Yeah of course. You okay?” She nodded but she had that melancholy look on her face that was hard to read. You weren’t sure if she was just putting up a front or if she was at all settled. You wanted to ask her more questions but she turned slowly and walked towards the main part of the commune. You squinted in the sun. Pelle passed her while he was walking back from wherever he had gone. 

“Are you ready?” he questioned. You nodded a bit. 

“Thanks for letting me sleep in.” 

“Of course. I want you rested.”

“So what do we have to do? Is it like a sack race or something? Who knows each other better? Quick, what’s your favorite color?” He chuckled. He looked down, intertwining your fingers. You let him, though you were suspicious. 

“A tad more serious than that.”

“Pelle…”

“You’ll be fine. I promise.” He was determined to win this one. He had never been chosen for a pairing before but he had seen it happen. The pairs were sent out on the cliff and had to be the last two standing after a scuffle of pushing and shoving. 

Ingemar and Connie were removed, after Connie mysteriously disappeared after causing too much commotion. There were only two more couples. 

Neither were as strong or connected as you and Pelle. 

He just wondered how he would get you up the mountain. Once you were there he had no doubt he could convince you to push for your own self preservation, along with his. 

As Dani took a drink of the special tea before the May Queen dance, you drank some offered by Pelle as you started up the mountain.

[nerdygaymormon]

The LDS Church & homosexuality

Some church goers are uncomfortable that I identify as gay. They think how my Creator made me is somehow against God, but I’m allowed to stay in my church because I’m single and celibate which means I am following my church’s teachings on sexuality, which also matches historical Christian teachings on sexuality.

You know who isn’t following those historical teachings? Straight couples who use birth control. Also breaking the historical rules are straight couples where one or both of them divorced a former spouse.

By historical, I mean the majority Christian understanding of the past 2000+ years. But we don’t even have to go back that far. I’m a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (which I’ll refer to as “the church” or “LDS Church”), let’s look at some of it’s more recent teachings & practices: 

In the 1960′s, at General Conference it was taught that using contraception was a gross wickedness. 

In the 1980′s, the LDS Church told bishops not to issue temple recommends to married couples who engage in oral sex.

Even up to 2020, the Handbook said church members had to consult with their bishop before getting a vasectomy or tubal ligation because this was seen as a moral issue since it would prevent them from having more children. 

This is not ancient history! 

Over the past 50 years, the church has liberalized sex for straight married couples. Current LDS policies are that birth control is considered a private matter for the married couple to decide and bishops are instructed not to ask married couples about their sexual behaviors. Oral and anal sex, or any other sexual act that may not result in pregnancy, are no longer considered moral dangers which the church needs to stop straight married couples from exploring. As one friend of mine described it, once you’re married, anything goes as long as there’s consent from both partners.

————————————————————

For gay couples, there’s been a little bit of movement by my church, but nothing like what has happened for straight couples. 

Gay individuals are now allowed to call themselves “gay” without getting in trouble, they’re allowed to date and hold hands and kiss without having to confess or have their church membership put in jeopardy (unless you attend the church’s schools where you may get punished for those behaviors). However, for gay couples, marriage or sex will both bring discipline and possible expulsion from the church.

————————————————————

The Biblical viewpoints on sexuality come from a time and culture that valued women for their ability to produce children. Infant mortality rates were high and overall population growth was slow. Any kind of sex that couldn’t result in a pregnancy was forbidden (even if not the intent of the original text, that’s the interpretation made by Christians and taught for centuries)

Today, infant mortality rates are low, life expectancy is high, and the world’s population is at a whopping 8 billion (it first reached 1 billion in 1804, 2 billion in 1927, and has continued to expand at a quickening pace). The reality of our lives has changed.

Biblical understandings of orientations were very different from today’s. Even modern understanding has evolved as prior to the 19th century, the concept of a sexual orientation was absent from Western culture. 

————————————————————

Let’s take a look at the evolution of the LDS Church’s positions on homosexuality.

Labels

In the 1960′s church leaders took a hard stance against even identifying as gay. Calling yourself gay or a homosexual could result in excommunication. 

In the 1980′s, the church separated having gay feelings from behaviors. Feelings and attractions were no longer a sin, just the behaviors. However, what labels queer members should use was still a hot topic. Same-sex attraction was the preferred label.

I remember being told in the 1990′s that the terms gay, lesbian, or bi should only be used as adjectives to describe behaviors or feelings, not people. People were encouraged to say they experience same-sex attraction (SSA) and not call themselves gay. 

While calling yourself lesbian, bi or gay is still not encouraged, in 2016 the church finally said it’s okay to do so.

—————————

What causes someone to be gay

The church taught people developed homosexual feelings due to a variety of reasons. These reasons changed over the decades, but here are some of the things the church taught as causing homosexuality: masturbation, sexual abuse, wearing gender non-conforming clothing, or even just talking about homosexuality. In other words, having gay attractions was a mental disorder for which someone needed help. 

Gay people have been disagreeing for decades, explaining we didn’t choose to be gay and it isn’t the result of abuse or other such causes, it’s just how we are.

Since 1990, there’s been a steady accumulation of research to show that a person’s sexuality is determined before birth. Yet the church resisted change. Recognizing that it’s previous statements on the causes of homosexuality conflict with the research, in 2006 the church stated that it has no opinion on what causes someone to have homosexual attractions. 

In 2010, Boyd K. Packer taught in General Conference that since God’s Plan is for men & women to have sex with each other in a marriage, God wouldn’t give people same-sex attractions without a way to change them while also prohibiting them from being able to act on these attractions. "Why would our Heavenly Father do that to anyone?" That is a damn fine question to which the church has yet come up with a good answer. It leaves the church in a quandary that it acknowledges people are gay, they don’t choose to be gay, and they can’t choose to not be gay, and yet they're still prohibited from having sex or getting married

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Reparative/Conversion Therapy

Given the way the church thought about what causes someone to be gay, it’s little wonder it also taught someone could be ‘cured.’ The 1960′s saw a big increase of statements from top leadership in the church teaching this.

In Sept 1969, the BYU Psychology Department begins electroshock aversion therapy research against ‘sexual deviancy.’ 

In 1978, gay students who attend BYU are still required to do conversion therapy, but no longer will aversion therapy be used.

In 1992, the church discouraged leaders of local congregations from encouraging members to change their sexual orientation from homosexual to heterosexual as that generally leads to frustration and discouragement.

In 2016, the church created the Mormon and Gay website which declared conversion therapy or sexual orientation change efforts are unethical. It seems that it’s around this time that BYU ceased conversion therapy 

It took until 2019 for LDS Family Services (the church’s therapy arm) to say it no longer tries to change a person’s sexual orientation, in other words, no more reparative therapy.  

—————————

Mixed-orientation marriages

In the 1970′s and 1980′s, gay men were actively encouraged to marry a woman with the promise this would "cure" their homosexuality (the church is focused on gay men while barely showing any concern for lesbians). I suppose this could be seen as another attempt at reparative therapy.

In the April 1987 General Conference, Gordon B. Hinckley said marriage shouldn’t be used as a way to cure homosexuality. But for men who were able to have some attraction to a woman, or who had a great desire to be married with a family in spite of who they are attracted to, mixed-orientation marriages were still encouraged.

In 2006, it was stated mixed-orientation marriages are no longer encouraged as therapy or a solution to deal with homosexual feelings. It’s a little more expansive from the 1987 statement which was only about using marriage to cure homosexual feelings. While this is the official policy, many leaders still encourage gay people to enter mixed-orientation marriages, and not just at the local level. David Archuleta shared in 2022 that an apostle had encouraged him to marry “a good girl.”

Mixed-orientation marriages don’t have a good track record, even for LDS couples, about 70% of them end in divorce. This is why I think the church stopped encouraging them.

—————————

The fight against gay marriage

In the 1990′s and 2000′s, the LDS Church’s fight against gay marriage invoked the fear that if gay marriage was legalized, within one generation the world’s population of humans would be wiped out. 

Somehow they thought homosexuality was so alluring that everyone would choose it and no more children would be born. Makes me wonder how many repressed gay men were in the ranks of the church leaders. 

Once gay marriage was legalized, the church moved to explain why it still wouldn’t allow gay marriages among its members. Here’s some of the attempts:

The church has continued to teach that God only approves of a man & a woman who are married and sealed together. They will sometimes refer to scriptures as if that settles the matter, but even a casual reading of those verses will leave a person wondering what they have to do with a gay couple, or why a verse about polygamy is used to support 1 man + 1 woman. 

With the growing acceptance of gay people and calls for change, in 2019 Elder Oaks introduced the idea that the 2 great commandments are in conflict and we need to not accept our gay neighbor too much because it would conflict with obeying the 1st command to love God. Later in a 2023 YSA fireside, Elder Oaks  backed off of the idea that there's tension between the 2 great commandments.

In 2021, Elder Oaks introduces the idea that the church is only about helping people aim for the highest degree of the Celestial Kingdom, and that requires a straight couple being sealed. Queer people can’t fit that, so they will go to a lower kingdom, and those are really good, so they’ll be fine. (it feels like an attempt to placate those who want more, like how the idea of civil unions was meant to satisfy gay couples and keep them from wanting to get married)

In 2023, Elder Oaks added the idea that everyone who “keeps their covenants” are assured of having a sealed relationship. I think this is his way of saying gay marriage isn’t needed because that won’t last and eventually after you’re dead you will get to be in a straight marriage so just be patient.

In 2023, a survey by PRRI shows that as of 2022 50% of active LDS members of the church in the United States approve of gay marriage. So I would say these attempts against accepting gay marriage are not yielding the hoped-for results 

—————————

Status of children of gay couples

In 2015, in response to the legalization of gay marriage across the United States, the LDS church implemented a new policy which forbids children from joining the church, or advancing in church, if one of their parents is in a gay relationship. Sadly, this mostly affected children who grew up in church as they were born to a couple in a mixed-orientation marriage which had broken up and the gay spouse found a same-sex partner. 

In 2019, as part of undoing the 2015 policy, it was shared that many exemptions to the policy had been granted since 2015, and that the policy against the children is no longer in effect.

—————————

Law of Chastity

For many decades, “acting” on same-sex attractions was considered against the law of chastity. Many took this to include not just sexual acts but also dating or even hugs and holding hands. 

In 2019, as part of undoing the 2015 policy which banned the children of gay couples from joining the LDS church, the statement was made that "immoral conduct in heterosexual or homosexual relationships will be treated in the same way." Many interpret this to mean dating, hand holding, and other activities that single heterosexual adults are allowed to engage in before marriage, these are now allowable for gay people. Not all local leaders agree with this interpretation, and in 2023 the BYU Honor Code was updated to forbid “same-sex romantic behavior.”

————————————————————

Within my lifetime, the law of chastity restrictions on straight couples have gone away as long as they’re married.

For gay people, the church now acknowledges they exist and it isn’t a choice to have these feelings. You may be allowed to date and hold hands and kiss but it is not encouraged because it can lead to a gay marriage.

Church leaders and members from a few decades ago would be shocked at the current teachings and practices of the LDS church in regards to sexuality, both for straight and gay people.

It is odd to hear church leaders claim the law of chastity isn’t subject to change, that doctrines never change, our teachings about homosexuality will never change, and yet we have a history of change. What's the point of being a church of continuing revelation if we say there will be no further revelation?

I hope for our leaders to receive "further light and knowledge.” We claim to be a church of revelation, so let’s get inspiration on how God’s queer children fit into God’s plan, on the blessings available to them, on how they bless the rest of the church, and their purposes in life. Let queer people have joy and hope in this life. 

[lakeshorez]

An Anecdote of Asexuality, Autism, and Other Oddities.

i originally posted this absolute essay of a comment underneath Carseatheadrest’s song “It’s Only Sex for, obvious reasons, however - I figured possibly it would be helpful to post it here to reach more folks who may resonate. (The song is fire btw, y’all should check CSH out!!) Apologies for any grammar mishaps - I wrote this after waking up from a five-hour long nap prior to taking my meds (whoops), and my autism can make it difficult when writing long-form pieces like this.

This is merely a slightly unhinged vent-post that seemed to get out of hand as I continued to write it; mainly focusing upon my own struggles with intimacy and how society views it as a whole - my relationship with being asexual, and how my autism leads me to perceive the act of sex in a slightly altered light compared to most.

General content warnings for: surface-level mentions of sexual content (nothing too explicit, I promise.), and brief mentions of past trauma.

That being said - I introduce you all to a glimpse inside my thoughts - and hopefully - despite having few followers, lol - some of you can relate, understand, or hell, possibly even learn something new about yourselves!

————————————

I’m 17 and although I’ve never been intimate nor do I have a partner - I’ve always felt immensely disconnected from most people’s allure towards intimacy since I find it weirdly “feral” in a way? Like, perceiving how aggressive people act within sexual scenarios with one another seems to put me off. As if they’re ’drunk off lust’ or something, being fully controlled by desire I guess? But to be fair, the only blatant exposure I’ve had to intimacy is through written text, along with hearing others’ testimonies on the manner. But, whenever I hear people going on about how they find it arousing when someone uses dirty talk I just feel weirdly— put off? I don’t know. Plus, I might be the only one who feels this way, but I absolutely despise the feeling of being in the act - more so the physical aspects of it. Sure, the closest I’ve had to actually being intimate is with by my own hand - but my point is, the sensations that are being absolutely overblown throughout the rest of your body; heavy breathing, sweating, a dazed mind, trembling limbs, etc - feel too overwhelming to me. I think I could be a result of me being autistic, and likely having heightened sensory impulses makes it feel so strange. But another thing I’ve noticed for me, is that the sensations feel eerily similar to when I’m upon the brink of a panic attack strangely enough. Not to mention how utterly tainted with filth I feel after the fact. Sure, I’ve tried to read articles upon articles on why sex and self pleasure is a natural occurrence - the health benefits and all - how it’s abnormal to feel ashamed or disconnected from the act, how I purely need to suck it up because if I dare express any destain from engaging in it, I’m considered a fault in the system. And yet, the internalized feelings of disconnect from my own body still linger, regardless how often I try to convince myself it’s normal.

It’s gotten to the point where I’ve sorta realized - perhaps it’s just not for me. Perhaps, I feel better when I’m not forcing myself to be someone I’m not? Or perhaps, what if all this time I’m merely lying to myself - what if my apathy and disgust regarding it was a result of unresolved childhood trauma? Perhaps made even more so of how I’ve never even held hands romantically with another human being. What if I’m wrong? Wrong about not understanding what all the hype is about — an unmoved fault in a sea of flirty playboy bunnies. I’m still trying to properly unpack a lot of what may have caused me to feel so strange about it, likely a large mess of factors; past trauma, growing under the watchful eye of a Christian mother, the fact I’m a pan trans guy- but I think one large part of it may be due to my autism. I’ve noticed, with a lot of basic tasks life throws at me, I always had a tendency to overanalyze and dissect a lot of things, sex included. I tend to view it in a very literal and logical light - sure, I can fully understand why people enjoy it, how they enjoy the emotional bond it creates, how they feel sparks from the bounds of pleasure that surge throughout their bodies - but other than that, I never can comprehend why people seem to place it on such a high pedestal? I could never quite comprehend why people put intimacy on the same level as eating, breathing, or even sleeping. I could never comprehend why people seemed to make such fusses over it. How my own mom couldn’t comprehend I don’t care much for the act, how people can’t physically accept the fact someone could live without it, as if the sensation itself is the elixir of life.

I feel whenever there’s conversations regarding the topic, autistic people such as myself tend to be left out of the conversations a whole lot. I suppose it’s unfortunately due to a whole slew of factors, such as infantilization; people viewing us as innocent children who’d never engage in something as adultery and taboo as sex because in their minds, we’re practically nothing more than overgrown children. However, I recall reading about how studies have shown that people assigned female at birth on average tend to have more nerve endings displayed around their reproductive organs - therefore, often feeling sexual sensations to a more heightened degree compared to our amab counterparts. However, I think it could also be linked to the discussion of being autistic and our feelings regarding intimacy. Since we tend to already have an intense heightened display of sensory inputs - primarily touch - I suppose it makes sense why I, and a lot of other afab autistic individuals feel like we’re on the brink of having a sensory overload when feeling any sexual stimulation. What would be considered as pleasurable to someone who isn’t autistic, could be interpreted as something almost painful to someone who is.

Whenever I try to learn on how to be more comfortable with the idea of intimacy, often the advice is so blatantly intended for non-autistic folk, along with taking on a very cisgendered-heteronormative view upon the matter as well. I’ve always felt extremely alienated when it came to talks about it and whatnot - mainly due to my autism, the fact I’m a trans pansexual dude, and past trauma relating to intimacy. Yet …in an odd way, whenever I browse through comment sections of videos on talks about intimacy and how to be an intimate partner, it’s like I’m seeing a glimpse in an alternate reality - a reality where everyone just seems to “get it”. A reality where not a single person ever had to cope with a horde of internalized mental struggles regarding such a topic, they openly state how much they enjoy being intimate with their partners, going into immense detail upon what makes them “tick” with tens of comments beneath them sharing that same anecdote. Cracking jokes and sharing their stories like it’s a normal Tuesday. And yet, part of me can’t help but feel like I’m an anomaly in an odd sense. Why regardless of how many sex-positive articles and videos I burn into my mind, I’ll constantly feel like I’m a flaw upon the system. How there’s always an eerily familiar contortion lodged deep within a pit in my stomach whenever the mere thought is brought up. How the nauseating pit only continues to expand itself - feeding off my utter discomfort, my inability to “get it”, like a spreading sickness that lacks no means of ending. But the pit never leaves, it just sits there within me. It only expands and contracts itself, constantly shifting its size and intensity to remind me of my abnormality. I can feel it deep within my body - I can feel its cruel weight make itself known whenever the topic of intimacy is brought up, whenever I feel that desire burn throughout my skin.

I suppose it’s why I felt like there was something wrong with me when I despised the sensations intimacy brought. Whenever I’d bring it up, I was told I was just a goddamn immature 17 year old who needed to ‘grow up’ and wait until I found a partner, then I’d finally “get it”. Then I’d finally understand what all the hype was about, then I’d finally feel whole. After all, being a virgin your whole life is something to be ashamed of, isn’t it? And yet, the closest thing I’ve had to experiencing any sexual stimulation is by my own hand - but even while I’m in the act, I can’t help but feel the overwhelming sensation of my heavy breathing, my heart throbbing at an unsteady rhythm, my limbs trembling, the almost burning sensation that only increases between my thighs until it boils over. And after? I feel disoriented. Like my mind is attempting to sew itself back together through trembling limbs and shaken breaths. And I want to cry. To sob, to clutch my shaken limbs around myself in a desperate means of granting myself comfort - I feel like I’m about to explode, with no other means to feel whole once again.

And despite it all, I often find myself wondering; “Why did nobody warn me about this?” Why didn’t they warn me of the intense barrage of sensations being thrown at my body in the most uneven hellish masses imaginable? Why didn’t they mention how my body would feel like it’s dying? After all, isn’t it guilty pleasure? A pleasure unmatched by anything granted by nature itself? A pleasure delectable as the sweetest honey, the closest thing to heaven humanity has acquired without the act of death. Shouldn’t it feel immaculate? Shouldn’t I feel satisfied? And yet, I lie between my disheveled bed sheets, clutching onto a pillow as heavy tears stain its fabric. And I can’t help but internally beat myself up over my emotions - why I feel so dejected and mentally shaken over a sensation that’s considered one of nature’s greatest gifts. How no matter how many times I mentally prepare myself to ‘fix’ my ongoing barrage of mental turmoil through watching videos of a person who clearly hasn’t felt the anguish I’m in explain in detail how to ‘enjoy’ the act. Assuming it comes naturally to anyone who watches, assuming that not a single person on the opposite side of the screen has ever felt such alienation from the rest of the human race over something that everyone just seems to magically have imbedded within their minds from birth. Assuming nobody is as utterly flawed as I am.

I suppose my detachment in regards to intimacy - even if it’s limited to merely touching myself once in a goddamn blue moon - has convinced me that I, in all my traumatized asexual autistic glory, would make one hell of a horrible partner. Who wants a partner who flinches at the slightest of touch, a partner who feels like they’re on the brink of a panic attack when the sensations get too intense for them to bear, who can’t stop hyperventilating and sobbing through thick and heavy tears as they try to soothe me like a distraught child, how dare I try and have my partner be some therapist for my issues…After all, that’s what a horrible partner does…right? A horrible partner doesn’t care for their spouse’s sexual needs - haven’t I heard of all those couples who break up because they couldn’t be satisfied in bed? How dare I try and insinuate that my future partner should settle for less, that they should live in an unfulfilling relationship unable to act upon a natural desire because I’m too utterly messed up to have it drilled into my thick skull that it’s normal. How dare I be so selfish.

It’s all I hear when I tell people I’m asexual, when I try and explain my autism physically does not allow me to think nor feel any different, how my entire being practically makes me feel differently around the entire discussion regarding intimacy. And yet, they express their worries and condolences. Not directed towards me, but to whatever future partner may interweave their fingers with mine someday. They mourn more intensely for that nonexistent entity over the person who’s standing in front of them in the flesh. They mourn for the fact that my future partner will have to somehow settle for less in their words, they try and convince me that merely granting my affection and love through hand-written notes and carefully crafted gifts and trinkets will never compare to the sheer raw intimacy sex can bring. How dare I insinuate that someone could be happy and fulfilled without such a need for something so natural, how dare I express one can feel fulfilled through other means that do not entail intimacy. How dare my sheer existence challenge their narrow mindset. How dare someone who chooses to become my spouse be understanding and grant me their compassionate empathy for simply being, how dare they feel fulfilled and satisfied by being granted affectionate notes and gifts over being touched by their beloved, how dare they “settle for less” and be content with simply experiencing the light of their partner through a clothed body. How dare they challenge the status quo for merely existing. It’s as if, people physically cannot fathom that someone can feel equally happy and fulfilled without the need for it. However, I suppose I don’t blame them - it’s everywhere you look. The expectancy to engage in it is practically being advertised and gossiped about in every corner of the world around them. As if feeling any distain or discomfort with the idea is an immediate challenge against something bigger. Like an act of rebellion, almost. But, am I being rebellious? How is me being some traumatized asexual autistic person on par with being some rebellious teenager? I’m not trying to challenge anything nor anyone, but it seems as if my sheer existence is already capable of doing that.

But hey, I guess you could say - it’s only sex :3 (I’m so sorry)

[soath]

Having had a day to think about it, I’m really wondering how much of this Crownkeepers-cut-to was planned. Obviously they had it in the works as an eventuality, but did they always intend to do it now, post-moon, or was this precipitated by FCG’s death? Did the rest of the cast know? Looking at how the episode was blocked out, how Matt banished everyone and then left before Aabria stepped in, it’s very possible that they weren’t on set the same day. Scheduling is hard enough as it is! Setting a separate filming time for the second act smooths the gears considerably.

If I had to guess, I’d say there have been loose discussions building a reunion with the Crownkeeper cast since episode 86 or earlier. They’ve probably been sharing their schedules and commitments, Aabria’s been brainstorming stuff, lines of lore communication have been opened. If it didn’t happen immediately post-moon (under other circumstances maybe not mid episode? though the drama was VERY good) it would have happened a little later, maybe pre-filmed, as a little break for the cast.

As for why they’d choose to do it now… though prior PC deaths gave multiple episode of downtime before people came in with their replacement character, those were also much different circumstances. Bells Hells are firing on full cylinders, they need their team locked and loaded, there’s a ninety percent chance they’re going to go to Keyleth and immediately volunteer to go to Aeor. One-two episodes gives Sam time to develop a character who can mesh with the rest of the team fast, and probably run a few playtests or minisessions since he’ll be jumping into a brand new build at level 13. It also gives them time to potentially book other guest slots, put Christian Navarro and Emily Axford on call as needed, etc. The whole party composition just changed drastically and they’re trying to juggle that amidst the schedules of some very busy performing artists!

As for how the Crownkeepers day in the limelight will end, it’s still very ambiguous. In the short term I think Aabria is angling to replace Opal with Deni$e in the lineup, relegating Opal to Zerxus level tragic champion of a Betrayer status. That’s if she doesn’t TPK the whole team of course, which there’s a small but not nonexistent chance she’ll do—Aabria pulls her punches a bit more than I would but she still hits hard. I don’t know if there’s a path for them to get to Bassuras to join Orym in a timely manner. My suspicion is that the mini game will end with them on the run from Opal, in dire straits, still in the middle of nowhere Tal’Dorei, headed vaguely to the Ashari, then Dorian getting Orym’s latest grief struck message and Robbie being put on the spot to answer in 25 words. Which seems like a very prettily vicious ending.

[brattyvice]

A lot of you girls have “demons” attached to you and that’s why you can’t smoke weed.

“Getting high opens you up and makes you”… Duh, heaux. Do you think we’re joking when we say stay protected(prayed up, cleansed, repent, etc)? Because let this be your reminder that we’re not. —————————————- Listen, some of this stuff is for fun and pure entertainment but I will never play with my spirit like that.

If you smoke weed and start seeing dark entities, if you start feeling like things are attaching themselves to you — 9/10 you know why and that’s why you’re smoking to escape in the first place, there is no judgment but babe be so fking serious and stop acting as if weed ruined your life.

It was already shit. —————————————- And when I say ‘you’ don’t be dense, we know what crowds I’m referring to. And if you don’t, it’s the generation of uppity BW Christians/religious girls. —————————————- I’m going to always remind you that this page (although not sexually explicit) is strictly for grown women and young ladies who are entering adulthood. — But, I will always slip in a good note for the youngins here and there because I love the kids. —————————————- Literally, if you’re under 21(I want to say 25 so bad but I know how that’s going to go) DONT SMOKE OR DO ANY DRUGS.

However, for us grown ups that know wtf we’re doing with this: Stop letting the algorithm psych you into thinking this is becoming some reformed gateway drug to hell, slot of these bitches are just crackheads and running away from spirits they’re too lazy to confront their shadow selves about. —————————————- That being said, here’s how the bougiie bratts maintain a healthy relationship with God’s lettuce. 💕 —————————————-

🚭 Never go more than two months consuming it daily! Listen, as a creative that’s had a head injury or two I get it. But girl, don’t become dependent on it. If there’s every a time you need to put this down for health reasons or because of a career opportunity, then you need to be disciplined enough to put it down immediately. Build a rapport with yourself and even if you have slipped into a bit of a habit, start small but not smoking during the day for a week straight. Anything to keep your relationship with it healthy and not addictive.

💨 Don’t smoke what you didn’t buy from the feds (or an extremely trusted “source”). Before you say something, at least if the GOV has something in it I have a receipt for what I invested and a source for where it came from. Too many celebrities have lost their lost from bad drugs, don’t ever think you’re exempt from being DMX’ed. Always know what you’re smoking and who you’re smoking with, that part the crazed girls said about this “opening” you up spiritually wasn’t a lie.

🚨🚫Never tell yourself it makes you better at something or that you “need” it to do anything, IDC if it’s just cleaning. Stop playing with the power of your tongue then being dumbfounded when the energies move around to make your words a reality. Enjoy the high while you do whatever you’re doing when you smoke, but I can’t stress enough how important it is to NOT treat this like a bandaid. —————————————- Weed is meant to be a fun party drug meant for the good people in life who just want peace and to protect the kids and elderly, please stop tainting the reputation of one of earths most precious gifts to us because you lack self control and have an addictive personality type.

It’s annoying.

[anamericangirl]

Sort of in response to the anon with the stranger things fandom blog:

I run a moderately big blog in a relatively small fandom, and I don't keep it a secret I'm Christian (though I keep it on the low-down that I'm conservative), and people are usually chill about it. But there was this huge controversy a couple months ago that another Christian blogger accidentally started involving pride stuff and suddenly I had loads of hysterical people in my inbox demanding I spell out every belief I had in case I was a 'bigot' because 'people are getting killed'??? I got a bunch of threats as well.

The worst part of it was the whole flood of posts mocking conservatives and Christians and their beliefs in the fandom tags, and things like "this character says these people suck!" (more rudely then that obviously). A bunch of people (several of them friends) got driven away by it all, and I was so disgusted by the actions of people I had considered friends or at least friendly associates who had suddenly turned into this huge mob of hatred. And while things have calmed down I'm still dealing with the emotions from it and people act like it was no big deal.

And yet before all of that... we all coexisted together just fine. I don't get how the pride community that claims it's 'accepting to all' can just attack people like that, who never bothered them at all. It hurts and it's so stupid.

But yeah all that to say, I get it anon. It's so hard. I hope you never have to deal with half of what I've had to put up with.

Ugh that’s terrible 😞

The pride community is absolutely vicious, especially online. If they were really loving and accepting they wouldn’t have to spend so much time telling us that’s what they are because their behavior would show it. And what they’ve shown is they are the least loving and tolerant community out there.

They’re like the only community it’s not ok to offend in any capacity and act like it’s on par with a crime and will even take people to court if they get mad enough (like the Christian baker situation) so the idea that they are oppressed or marginalized is laughable. They are completely toxic and they can’t handle seeing anything that disagrees with them or doesn’t wholeheartedly support them in all their endeavors. It’s always interesting to see who claims oppression vs who isn’t afraid to speak out and isn’t attacked for doing so and those are often the same parties.

I’m sorry you had to deal with that. They should all be able to be more mature and able to understand that on the internet they might see things they don’t like sometimes and it’s not ok to attack people.

It can be nice to know you’re not the only one out there who feels like they have to keep silent for fear of being attacked by online mobs, though. So I’m sure the other anon will appreciate this.

[ecargmura]

Ron Kamonohashi's Forbidden Deductions Episode 14 Review - House Of M's Challenge

In those days, people will seek death but will not find it. They will long to die, but death will flee away. - Revelations 9:6

Ron Kamonohashi’s Forbidden Deductions/Deranged Detective is back! This is my most anticipated show for this season, so I’m super stoked my Kamondays are back! It’s crazy how the first season aired in Fall 2023 and now it’s Fall 2024—an exact year! This episode basically starts where the finale of season 1 left off. I highly suggest you watch the first season to know what the heck is going on because there are no recaps of Season 1. It just drops you onto a new case straight away.

The new case is basically a challenge from the House of M, a notorious crime family and the ones responsible for getting Ron suspended from Blue Academy and getting his detective license. Did I also mention that they’re his distant estranged relatives? Go watch Season 1 if you want to know what the heck is going on. They’re also the ones who carved the scar on his neck. Now, they’re on the move, challenging Ron’s sleuthing skills as Winter Moriarty kills people under his and Toto’s noses.

While Ron’s quirky antics and Toto’s outbursts to them are still present, they’re not presented much as the tone of the episode is a lot more serious than before. Ron still breaks into the crime scene pretending to advertise his sweets delivery business that probably does exist. This case is a lot more serious this time around as Winter is actively killing and targeting three people involved in a cryptocurrency case. They’re the main culprit and I do wonder how Ron and Toto will corner them. By the way, Winter’s gender is ambiguous, so I’ll refer to them using NB pronouns so it’ll be easier on my part.

This is a case where we, the viewers, know who the culprit already is, but the question is how Ron and Toto are going to track them down.  I think the cases have become a lot more creative in the sense that Winter’s clues for Ron are very clever. They used a symbol that looked like a zero but it’s a bird’s eye view of the Shibuya Scramble intersection and what the neck said, another murder happened at 10:00 am. This gives Ron and Toto a sense of urgency. Another murder will happen at 11:00 am in a place where a triangle is and if they don’t hurry and find Winter, it’ll be his loss. I sort of find the time limit challenge interesting as this is the first in the story. I do wonder what will happen if Ron wins, will Winter die? What will happen if Ron loses? It’s a high stakes battle.

I feel like the animation did improve compared to the first season. While the quality still looks the same as it did in the previous season, I do feel like the movement feels more fluid. I guess it’s because this case is a lot more action-packed? 

The voice acting for all the characters is still great. However, I want to give a shout out to Yumiri Hanamori as her voice for Winter gradually improved. Back in Episode 9 when Winter first debuted, Hanamori gave Winter a rather unfitting high-pitched voice, but now, it seems that she lowered her pitch for them and they sound more gender ambiguous now. I like it!

The opening is pretty catchy and it’s a lot different than the first season’s opening. I do wonder if the studio will take time to change some details for the opening like how they did for Season 1. If they don’t, I’m alright with it. The ending is nice. The song soothes the intense feeling of the episode, so it’s totally a respite of sorts.

Oh, about the quote at the very top, Revelations 9:6 has been mentioned often in this episode. The quote is written like this in the copy of the Bible that I own. It’s interesting how Akira Amano uses a bible verse as some sort of clue. It sort of makes sense given that the Moriarity family are British and the common religions practiced there is Christianity. I can’t believe I had to open the Bible to get a quote from an anime that revolves around killing. Crazy world we live in.

I honestly can’t wait to see what Season 2 has to offer in terms of cases and how they’ll be solved. I know that Ron and Toto will win this, but how? I can’t wait to find out! If you’re going to watch this show or if you have already watched it, what are your thoughts?

Oh yeah, just because it’s the more commonly used title now, I’ll be titling this season as Ron Kamonohashi’s Forbidden Deductions starting Episode 14!