#they’re soulmates in every universe it just that in some of those universes they’re far too fruity to be partying without pants

[coven-of-chaos-magic]

Every time I talk about winterwidow I have to make it very clear that I’m not referring to the MCU

Because while they >>>

are soulmates

They >>>

are homosexuals

And while I love them all equally my MCU ships are not the same as my marvel comics ships

[mulloey]

ill-fated • yunho

in some kind of cruel trick, the universe has fated you to the person who hates you most.

an ateez werewolf au.

word count: 8.7k

tags: werewolf!au, soulmate!au, alpha!yunho, omega!reader, inaccurate depiction of omegaverse as i’m not familiar with the genre. warnings under the cut

warnings: dom!yunho, sub!reader, mentions of coercion, grooming and segregation, discrimination (none of those by yunho), unequal power dynamics, mentioned punishment. MASSIVE dick!yunho, slight corruption, BITING, pet names, titles (alpha/omega. sorry). rude yunho at first. not proof read

—————

You are fucking irritating.

Yunho doesn’t know much. As an alpha since birth he was raised separately from the omegas — fragile little bunnies who could so easily have been ripped apart if he’d been having a bad day — and given very limited access to the outside world. “The people out there,” his father had told him, “could do as much damage to you as you could to them.” As such, he’d been entirely sheltered and shielded, separate from everything he could threaten or be threatened by. So no, Yunho doesn’t know much. Not about omegas, anyway. But what he does know is that you are fucking irritating.

He’s never even met you, never been given the chance, yet he knows this. He sees you from across the grounds, through the fence neither of you have ever crossed; sees your annoying face, scrunched up in a pout or a huff whenever something doesn’t go your way. He hears your whines and pleads and that irritating giggle when a weaker wolf than he gives into your antics and gives you what you want. Even from across the grounds he hears it all and he wants nothing more than to shut you up. He stays up at night picturing it — finally putting you in your place, showing you how a stupid little omega is supposed to behave. Showing you that despite the alphas you’ve encountered who bend and cater to your every whim just because you’re cute, there are some out there with a stronger will than that. There are some who’d be all too happy to set you straight, to keep you in line and teach you to behave the way your teachers clearly failed to. God, he wants to be the one to do it.

He watches you today with a scowl. You’re giggling and jeering with your friends, skipping happily around the garden with some kind of kite. How juvenile, he thinks. His lip curls at the sight. You’re only a few years younger than him; you must be in your early twenties by now — you have no reason to be so childish, so immature and… cute. He hates that word. Hates using it on you. Fuck, he could just—

“Christ, Yunho.”

He looks up, thoughts interrupted by his best friend, sitting next to him with a half-amused, half-concerned expression. “What, Mingi?” He huffs.

“Are you still watching that little omega?”

He shrugs, muttering to himself and Mingi laughs. “You are. Jesus, dude, it’s been years. Why are you so obsessed with her?”

“I’m not obsessed,” Yunho snaps far too quickly. Mingi raises an eyebrow. “I’m not obsessed,” he repeats, more slowly. “She’s just annoying. She needs to grow up. She’s so childish.”

“They’re all childish, Yunho, they’re omegas. That’s what they’re like. And yet she bothers out of all of them. That seems like obsession to me.”

“Well it’s not,” Yunho says, irritated. His gaze still follows you, now sat with your friends in a circle and listening to one of the others tell some kind of story. You watch her intently, eyebrows scrunched in concentration. You look interested, thoughtful. He scoffs, shaking his head. He hates how every single emotion shows on your face, hates how he knows exactly what’s going on in your stupid little head just by watching the way your nose scrunches and your lips twitch. He hates it. At least you’re listening well, he thinks.

“You’re kidding,” Mingi says. “You’re literally watching her right now. Fuck man, you’re practically studying her and you’re not obsessed?”

“Who’s obsessed?”

They both turn to see their friend and the heir to the pack, Hongjoong, approaching with drinks in his hands. He sits down next to Mingi, handing each of them a drink which they accept. He stares at Yunho for a second, noticing the irritated expression on his face, and locks eyes with Mingi, looking confused.

“Yunho,” Mingi explains, “is staring at that little omega again. He fucking hates her, man. It’s not healthy”

Hongjoong snorts. “It’s not hate.”

The other two whip their heads to face him, Mingi looking confused and Yunho irate. “What?” They both ask.

Hongjoong chuckles, taking a sip before he speaks. “It’s not hate,” he repeats. “It’s been what, years, right?”

“His whole life more like,” Mingi mutters. Yunho elbows him and he yelps. Hongjoong shakes his head.

“Yeah, years he’s been obsessing over how much he hates her. Do you even know her name?”

Yunho shrugs, irritated and Hongjoong laughs. “Yeah. You will one day, though. Because you don’t hate her.”

“Of course I hate her, Hongjoong!” Yunho protests, trying to keep it down so the nearby alphas don’t intercept the conversation. “She’s fucking annoying, dude. Look at her. Can you really say you don’t hate her?”

Hongjoong shares a look, knowing and exasperated, with Mingi and places a hand on Yunho’s shoulder, squeezing it gently before walking off. Yunho turns back to Mingi, confused expression on his face and Mingi sighs before speaking.

“We can’t even see her from this far, Yunho.”

—————

You’ve been noticing it for a while. Your friend was the first one to point it out; a kind, temperate beta named Alexa. “Over there,” she’d said. “By the fence. There’s an alpha that’s been staring at you for a while.”

You’d followed her gaze to see two figures on the other side of the fence, one of them staring intently over at you. The other man, almost as tall as him, seemed to be attempting some kind of conversation, but to no avail; his friend’s entire attention was set on you, on staring you down with a scowl. He looked displeased, irritated as he glared at you and it was intimidating. You felt yourself shrink slightly under his gaze, feeling small and vulnerable and almost scolded.

Put out, you’d turned back to Alexa worriedly. “Why is he doing that?”

“I don’t know,” she’d sighed. “But don’t worry. Just stay away from the fence, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you breathed. “As always.”

So you did. You stayed away from the fence — though it wasn’t a big ask as that was what the rules bid you do anyway — and pretended not to see his eyes on you, to hear the whispers from the other omegas about that alpha that keeps staring at the girl over there. It wasn’t unusual to have an alpha stare over, of course; after all, the people on each side of the fence would of course one day be matched with each other. But it was weird for an alpha to be so fixated and so… angry at one omega in particular, especially one they haven’t made a single move to approach. And it worried you. You wondered if you were doing something wrong, if there was something wrong with you that made you so unappealing to this alpha and, God forbid, may turn the other alphas off you too, when it came to the day when you’d be matched with one. And you didn’t even know what it was!

But there was nothing you could do, of course, without actually approaching the fence which would risk your life, so you ignored it, trying to enjoy your days the way you normally did. But it lingered in the back of your mind, always hovering there, bothering and worrying you. Why did he hate you so much? And why you?

You find out a few weeks later. It’s the day of the mating ceremony — to the town, the most important day of the year, and to you the most important day of your life. Because this year, among the hundreds of alphas and omegas due to be matched is you.

The procedure is simple, and you’ve rehearsed it enough at school to know it like the back of your hand; in your nicest, whitest dress, you’ll walk gracefully down to the stage, a low wooden platform surrounded by towering rows of seats. The head of the pack, some man you’ve never met and yet have spent your entire life swearing loyalty to, will select for you a mate — one of the many alphas vying for an omega, under whose control you’ll spend the rest of your life. It’s a crucial, irreversible moment; the chief’s decision is final, because he has the experience and the instincts to know who ought to be paired with who, which pairings will further the pack’s prosperity. It’s an ancient, foolproof system, so you tell yourself. No matter how many times you say it it doesn’t quite resonate.

The walk to the town hall is nerve wracking; you cling to the hand of the omega beside you, an equally nervous boy named Zhou. Knowing you’re being watched on your journey by the hundreds, even thousands of people who line the streets each year to witness it, you keep your eyes fixed on the ground, trying to focus on each slow step, each tap of your white ballet shoes against the cobbled streets. It’s eerily silent; a funeral more than a celebration.

When the town hall comes into view you feel yourself shudder; like everything on this side of the fence, it’s large and imposing and much grander than you’re used to. You shrink into yourself slightly but don’t allow yourself to stop; you have to make a good impression.

You’re guided to your seat, just above the stage and sink into it with a sigh of relief. You’re in the clear until your name is called — and that could take hours. You close your eyes for a moment, breathing in the fresh air wafting through the open window near to your block of seats. It’s rich and earthy and strangely… homely. You’ve never smelled something quite like this before.

On the other side of the stage, Yunho and his friends sit slouched in the alphas section of the seats. They’re a little bored, to no one’s surprise — like many alphas they’ve been to several of these ceremonies; it’s common for an alpha to take several years to finally be matched, there’s no shame in it. Often it’s simply a matter of waiting for the right omega to come of age. And it’s not up to them, anyway — the chief is the one who knows who belongs with who.

He cranes his neck, turning to look over at Hongjoong, who stares straight ahead with a severe expression. No wonder he looks so serious, Yunho thinks; one day this ancient ceremony, and the sacred matching of everyone in this town, will be down to him. It must weigh on him. He wonders if those instincts — instincts that will make or break the future of the pack — have begun to show yet. He shrugs, slouching back. Not his problem. Craning his neck to try to get a glimpse of the blurry selection of omegas this year, he figures he has his own things to worry about.

The ceremony starts slowly and typically; an endless, droning speech by the pack leader, before the first, tense matches get underway. They seem decent this year, he has to admit; a few of the alphas he knows decently well are matched, each with their own beautiful, well-trained omega, who greets their new master with practised grace. He feels a twinge of jealousy. He’s by no means too old to be matched, and certainly isn’t the oldest alpha in the section, but he’s just a man. Just an alpha. He may not need, but he wants an omega of his own, a pretty, obedient little thing to spoil and care for and mould into the perfect life partner for him. He wants… well, he’s not sure what exactly. He can’t see past the annoying, ever-present image of you in his mind. Sneering at him, tormenting him.

When they read your name, he knows it’s you. It’s a name he’s never heard and yet when the syllables leave the announcer’s mouth, he knows who’s about to stand up before you do. He perks up, surprised to see you making your way down the stairs; he hadn’t known you were being matched this year. He should have, he supposes; from your looks and the people you hang around with he figured you’d be about 21 by now, but to actually see you, knowing you’re about to be given away, is an odd, conflicting feeling.

He watches as you bid your friends goodbye before walking slowly towards the centre of the hall. You take a brief look around at the audience, at the hundreds, even thousands of pairs of eyes on you, before your gaze reverts to the ground. You’re shy and more demure than he’s ever seen you. If only you were like this all the time, he thinks, he’d feel a little less sorry for the poor alpha who you’re about to be given to. He looks around at the other alphas, wondering who you’ll get. They all watch you intently, apparently quite enamoured by you and he scoffs. They have no idea what you’re like. They don’t know what it would take to tame you; he doubts any of them, even Hongjoong, would be up to the task. He wonders who is. He slumps back in his seat, waiting to find out.

“Omega,” the announcer says. “You are already soul-tied to an alpha in this pack.”

He sits up, more interested now, as do the rest of the audience. A soul-bond is quite rare, and he’s never seen one in person; far beyond even the pack leader’s control, it’s an ancient, mythical bonding ritual that until now, he wasn’t even entirely convinced was real. The others are surprised too; he hears whispers of who it will be, who it is that’s been destined for you from the beginning, and listens eagerly as the announcer opens a sheet of paper, bringing the microphone to her lips and reading out two short words.

“Jeong Yunho.”

He baulks. His jaw drops and he stands up indignantly, swearing he’d heard it wrong. Jeong Yunho. That’s his name. Theres no fucking way. He turns outraged to the men beside him who look entirely unsurprised. He growls, remembering what they’d told him weeks ago. Curse them. Curse them for being right.

The announcer repeats his name, waiting for him to go down to greet you and Mingi nudges him forward. “Well, Yunho,” he grins. “Looks like you’ll get to put her in her place after all.”

————

After the ceremony you’re led to another room, with a small table and couch. In it is a beta you faintly recognise, a kind and unassuming looking woman but for the fact that she’s holding a pair of handcuffs.

“Will you come willingly, omega?” She asks.

“Yes,” you say, “I will.”

Not that you have a choice — you know what happens to omegas who resist their matches; and though you knew straight away this Yunho was the man who’s been glaring at and bothering you so much, having seen him a little closer now, you figure you’re lucky to have at least gotten an attractive alpha. And you couldn’t stand the humiliation of being dragged across the grounds in handcuffs anyway.

“Good,” the woman smiles. She pockets the handcuffs, in case you change your mind, you assume, and takes your hand. “I’ll take you to your alpha, then.”

The walk to your alpha’s house is short; he lives right next to the town hall. He must be important, you think, and the size of his house certainly suggests that. You swallow thickly as you stare up at it and the woman squeezes your hand. “Nothing to worry about, omega,” she smiles. “Yunho’s a lovely young man. Just be good and obey him and you’ll have a wonderful life with him, okay?”

You nod shyly and she pinches your cheek. The skirt of the dress you’d been given for the ceremony catches on your shoes as you make your way up the stairs of his house and she reaches down to untangle it, keeping you steady and graceful as you wait by the door.

A few seconds after the doorbell rings, the large oak door creaks open, revealing the stern-looking man from earlier. As close as you’ve ever been, you grasp for the first time how tall and how handsome he really is. You blush, looking down. He bids the women goodbye, as do you, before beckoning you inside. The door slams shut behind you, making you jump a little. He studies your reaction, watching your carefully before he comes to stand in front of you.

“Omega.”

You shuffle in place, gazing intently at the ground — anywhere but at him. He shakes his head. “Look at me and greet me properly, omega,” he says, a little more sternly.

Shyly you lift your head, staring up at him with hooded eyes. They’re almost… doe-ish, he thinks. More like prey than another wolf. “Alpha,” you whisper.

He nods. “Introduce yourself.”

Shyly you start to whisper your name, but he stops you. “The surname is wrong,” he says. “It’ll be Jeong now. Omegas take the alpha’s name.”

You sigh nervously, nodding. You feel stupid to have forgotten that and he clearly already thinks that you are stupid; you want to kick yourself for proving him right so quickly. “Yes, alpha,” you whisper.

“Introduce yourself,” he repeats. “And this time get it right.”

You try it again, using his surname this name and he nods, satisfied but unsmiling. “Good,” he says. “Now, omega. I doubt you were expecting to be given in a soul-tie like that, and neither was I. But the fact remains that you are my omega now, and you will act like it. That means following the rules and standards I give. Got it?”

Unsure but hoping to please him, you agree. He stares at you as though he’s scrutinising you — which he probably is. “I understand, alpha.”

“I don’t expect you to meet my standards right away,” he continues. He speaks coolly, casually but you can tell this is serious. “You’re just an omega, after all. And I’ve been watching you for a while and I can see that even for an omega, you’re quite a brat.”

You don’t know if you’re supposed to reply — to protest or dispute him or agree with his insults, so you just stare at him, letting him continue. That seems to please him at least.

“I know you have the betas under your thumb,” he says with almost a sneer. “Even some of the alphas, too. But you won’t have me. I’ve been waiting a long time to put you in your place and by some miracle the Gods have dropped you right into my lap to do so.”

You gulp. You wonder what he’s going to do to you — you know as his God-given omega he has the right to do anything he likes, so long as you aren’t killed or ‘severely and permanently injured’. In this pack, at least, there are slightly higher standards for the conduct of alphas towards their omegas, but they’re still low. And now that you’ve been given to him, he has the right to control, care for and discipline you however he chooses.

“What are you going to do?” You whisper.

“Well, I assume you’re aware of what I can do,” he says. You nod. “But unlike some of the alphas here, I have a personal policy that I intend to stick to.”

“What’s that?”

“Other than your brand—” you gulp at the mention of the large, obvious mating mark he’s probably going to be giving you shortly “—I will never permanently mark you in any way. Not from sex, not from punishment, nothing. Understand?”

You nod, feeling relieved. You know the law and you know that, if he wanted to, he’d be perfectly entitled to cover your entire body in deep, lasting marks — so long as they don’t cause actual damage. But he doesn’t want to do that, for some reason. Maybe he’s not scary after all; although the mention of punishment, though expected, sends a small shiver down your spine.

“Thank you,” you whisper.

He hums. “As for your question…”

You tilt your head, looking confused. “About what?”

He lifts an eyebrow — surprised, apparently. “About what I’m going to do to you.”

“Oh.” You forgot you’d asked that. Stupid omega, you can almost hear him thinking.

“Yes, about that. The simple answer is, I’m going to treat you like an omega should be treated.”

“Meaning what?”

“Meaning I’ll take care of you,” he says. “In all ways. By looking after you, guiding you, comforting you, and of course, disciplining you when I see fit.”

His words dizzy you slightly, affecting you in more ways than one. You find yourself picturing all the ways he’ll fulfil that promise; everything he might do to you. Everything he could do. You swallow, voice thick. “Discipline me how?”

He cocks an eyebrow, unimpressed but amused. “It shouldn’t be a mystery,” he says. “There aren’t as many ways to get through to omega like you as there are of getting through to, say, a beta. You’re wired to require a more…” He tuts, shaking his head, “…hands on approach.”

Oh. Visions of him towering over you, wielding a stick or a whip or any one of the multitudes of weapons you’ve heard are frequently used on omegas, fill your head. Your heart races again, fearful and you instinctively back off a bit. He seems to know exactly what you’re thinking because he sighs, shaking his head. “I’m not going to beat you, omega,” he says.

You blink, surprised and not quite believing. “You’re not?”

“No,” he says. “Why did you think I was? Is that the only way to get through to you?”

“No,” you whisper. “I just heard…”

“Well you heard wrong,” he says, tone final. You nod demurely, no more will to argue. “I’m not some feral wolf chasing lost omegas through the forest. I have more control than that.”

“I’m sorry,” you say. He nods, jaw tense.

“Listen to me,” he continues, voice firm. “I’m never going to beat you with a stick, or whip you, or any of that.” Your eyes widen slightly; that’s exactly what you were thinking. Can he actually read your mind? You stay silent, letting him continue. “I’ll never strike you in anger, either. Now that you’re mine, you are — whether I like it or not — precious to me. I intend to take good care to keep you safe and unsullied.”

“But you will… strike me,” you say softly. You can’t say you’re surprised — or even disappointed. You ignore the way your heart speeds up slightly at the thought of him hitting you — his wide palm clapping against your skin again and again.

“If I have to,” he says. “But we’ll talk about that later.” For the first time he offers what you could almost fool yourself into thinking is a reassuring smile. “For now we have the most important part.”

Your heart starts to race at his words. You know exactly what he’s referring to — you’ve been told of this moment since childhood, both through textbooks at school and scary stories told around the campfire just on the edge of the woods that is completely off limits for omegas. The mating, they call it, is the most important moment of an omega’s life; however long you’ve been with an alpha, you’re not truly their omega until they’ve left that deep, permanent mark on you — the branding. And as scared as you still are of Yunho you know there are far worse alphas to be paired with, so as terrifying at the words mating and branding sound to you, you’re eager to get it over with — to be bonded to Yunho for life, officially claimed. You can deal with Yunho, you think, not least because he’s apparently been literally created by the Gods to be yours. You do not want to deal with the other alphas you see prowling about. This will protect you from that if nothing else.

“Okay,” you say. “I’m ready.”

He looks almost surprised at your obedience and smiles, a little wider this time. “Good,” he says. “I’m glad. I’ll take good care of you.”

You look up, still surprised that a man who’d for so long looked at you with such…vitriol, who’d looked so horrified at being matched with you, would have a single ounce of desire to be nice to you. Certainly not during the first time he takes you. “Really?” You ask.

“Yes,” he says. “A soul bond is rare and if something happens to you, I won’t get another. Plus—” he pauses, sighing like he can’t believe what he’s about to say “—if the Gods put you with me themselves, they must have seen your potential to be the kind of omega I like. So deep down, there probably is some part of you that wants to obey me. I just have to drag it out of you, I think.”

You bite your lip, shivering slightly. For some reason you kind of like that idea; the image of being forced to obey. Physically compelled to listen and revere him. “Yes, alpha.”

“Well,” he says. For once he looks a little unsure. “I guess there’s no point delaying it any further, is there?”

You swallow, understanding immediately what it is. “No, alpha.”

He nods almost grimly, tapping his foot against the wooden floor. “Alright then. We’re going to go to my bedroom now.”

You blink. “We don’t share one?”

His eyes narrow slightly, lips pursing and you instinctively bow your head. “No,” he says. “Not yet. You’ll have your own room until you earn the privilege to sleep with me.”

You nod — you’d heard that before. It’s a common practice for new mates, particularly… unwilling ones, which you suppose he is at least, as admittedly crushing as that is to think.

It’s a crucial rule, your teacher had told you; an easy and blatant mark of who is above and who is beneath. Doesn’t make it very nice to hear though.

“Follow me,” he says.

He starts to walk and, lost in your thoughts, it takes you a second to realise. By the time you scurry after him he’s already noticed and regards you with a stern, but slightly amused expression. “You’re in a daze, omega,” he says. “Try to get out of your head now. Focus on my commands. Let’s go.”

He starts to walk again and this time there’s no delay in your obedience; you start to walk beside him, matching his pace until he stops you, looking irritated. You wonder what you’ve done wrong now — or if you could ever do anything right.

“Did no one teach you about walking with your alpha?” He asks, frowning.

You shrug, shaking your head. “I don’t think so, alpha.”

He sighs. “I will, then,” he says. “When I walk you are to walk half a step behind me. Even if we’re holding hands I will not be seen to allow an omega — my omega, at that — to walk in front of me. Got that?”

You nod, flushing — you’ve never heard that rule, though it’s not entirely foreign to you. Maybe you’d been zoned out when your teacher had gone over it. It wouldn’t be surprising; but in any case you’ve been taught it now so you may as well obey it — and if it makes Yunho like you a little bit more, that’s a bonus. You shuffle behind him, careful never to quite catch up with him and he keeps a close eye on your efforts. You see him nod in satisfaction and allow yourself a small smile. You can do this — you’ve been trained for this. You’re a born and bred omega, and a well-trained one at that. You can obey your alpha with your eyes closed.

Arriving outside the tall oak door, he pauses, turning to you. He lifts a strong, large hand to cup your cheek and you feel a slight jolt when he makes contact. Based on the look on his face, you know he felt it too. He stares at you, eyes narrowed before he exhales. “Soul-tied indeed,” he mutters. “There’s no escape now, then. For either of us.”

“I’ll be good,” you say; the words leave your mouth of their own accord, almost automatically. Yunho is silent for a moment, lips parted in surprise before he chuckles slightly.

“Perhaps training you up won’t be as monumental a task as I’d thought,” he says. “You just need a firm hand, I think.”

You say nothing, unsure how to reply and by now incredibly on-edge.

“Come in.”

He opens the door to reveal his room and you bite back a noise of surprise. You figured his room would be specious, well decorated; this is another level. The only way you could describe it is lavish. Thick, embroidered drapes hang from windows that reach from floor-to-ceiling; meeting the thick, warm carpets that cover the floors. A crackling fire burns on one side of the room, next to an open door leading to a bathroom; on the other side, a king-size bed, richly decorated and surrounded by four intricately carved posters holding up a canopy. After he enters you take a step inside, slightly dazed. Having spent the past few years of your life in the omega dormitories, you’ve never seen anything like this; you’re not sure if this is just the way alphas live or if Yunho is particularly important — either way, this is overwhelming. He watches your reaction with a slight smirk. “What do you think?” He asks.

You nod, swallowing thickly. “I— it’s wonderful, alpha. I’ve never seen something like this.”

“Ah yes,” he says, nodding like he’s just realised. “You’ll have been in the omega dormitories, won’t you? This must be quite the shock.”

“Yeah,” you breathe, still staring open-mouthed around the room.

He chuckles, taking your hand again. “You have plenty of time to admire it later. For now…” He looks you up and down again — he keeps doing that, you think. It’s a little unnerving.

You nod demurely, knowing and accepting the fate on the tip of his tongue. “I’m ready.”

The low sounds of the fire is all that’s audible for a few moments before Yunho nods; as he does, shoulders tensing and untensing slightly, a foreign look crosses his eyes — a darkness; a glint. You gulp, understanding it; not necessarily recognising it consciously, but feeling it in your bones, your veins, the deepest parts of your DNA — the parts that make you an omega. His omega.

“Take off your clothes,” he says, voice dropping. “Let me see you.”

You hurry to obey, pulling off your thin shawl and shimmying out of the sleeves of your dress. At the bodice you falter; hindered slightly by the tight and complex fastenings of your corset. You huff a little, slightly vindicated; you’d told your matron this was too difficult, warmed her it may prove a problem for the alpha you were matched with but she’d slapped you, as hard as someone is legally allowed to slap an omega that’s not theirs, before fastening it tighter as some kind of petty revenge. Trying to get it undone, you look up at Yunho with pleading eyes.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, confused.

“My corset, alpha,” you whisper.

He sighs, biting back a chuckle before rounding you to inspect the fastenings running down your back. “Oh dear,” he says. “They really packed you in there, didn’t they? I feel quite useless at this.”

“You just need to untie it,” you whisper.

He clears his throat, resting two large hands on your delicate hips — you’ve never felt as small as you do now. Even in that massive auditorium. “I can try,” he says quietly.

He sets to work and, to both of your surprise, seems to get the hang of it quickly; skilled fingers undo each fastening with careful efficiency and soon the dress falls off of you entirely, pooling at your feet and leaving you in your underwear. You feel his eyes on you, practically staring a hole through you with the intensity of his gaze. You flush, turning to face him. “Alpha…” you whisper, eyes cast downwards.

You hear him exhale — deep and relieved as if he’d been holding his breath. When you look up you see his eyes are wide, pupils dilated. “You look… exquisite, omega.”

In the dim light of his room, illuminated by the crackling fire, you see him in a way you haven’t before. He almost looks… golden. Your reservations about Yunho aside, you see now why your match with him was created by the Gods — it’s clear that when it comes to this man, everything was. There’s nothing secular about him; not a single hair or pore untouched by divinity. You gulp, stepping forward, heart pounding. “Will you kiss me, alpha?” You ask.

He doesn’t waste a second; he pounces on you quickly and without restraint, attacking your mouth with his, emanating sounds you can only describe as feral. He nips and bites at your lips, running his hands across your partially nude body with growing hunger. You moan into his mouth, breathing in and gasping slightly when his hand closes around your neck, stilling you. He backs up a bit, staring you down with eyes that are now entirely dark.

“Listen to me,” he growls. “You’re my omega and I’m going to make you a good one. You’re going to do everything I say, when I say it. Do you understand?”

You nod, dazed. “Yes, alpha.”

He releases you, sending you staggering backwards and he watches you with an amused smile. You stand still for a second, waiting for his command and he tilts his head. You try not to let your reaction show, but you know what he’s doing. He’s playing with his food.

“Come here.”

You take another hesitant step towards him. He stares deeply into your eyes for a second before a strong hand on your shoulder forces you to your knees. Your head bows instinctively and you rest your hands in your lap like you’ve been taught. From lowered eyes you look up and see him nod in satisfaction. “Very good, omega,” he smiles. “I’m pleased to see you’ve already mastered this position. It will be a familiar one for you.”

You nod, trying to sit a little more straight; with such a… distraction in front of you, staring you down, it could be easy to lose focus, so you make a conscious effort to keep the position — back straightened, head bowed and legs together. He walks a slow circle around you, inspecting your efforts. From his slight nod you guess he’s pleased with them. “Spread your legs a little,” he says softly.

“Yes, alpha.” You shift your knees ever so slightly, creating a slight gap between your legs. He watches you closely as he rounds back to face your front. Taking a step towards you he places his foot between your parted thighs — not kicking or shoving them apart any further, just sitting there, noting the gap between them.

“Good,” he says. “This is the position I want you to remember. The same one you’ve been taught but with your legs spread just enough for me to do this. Do you understand?”

You nod, swallowing thickly. He shakes his head. “Tell me you understand.”

“I understand,” you whisper. At his arched brow you add a hurried “alpha” and he smiles.

“When I tell you to get in position, I want you to do this,” he says. “When I come home from work each day, I want you waiting by the door like this. Alright?”

“Alright,” you whisper.

He stares at you for a moment, face blank but eyes focused, fixed. You’re not sure what he’s doing — examining you? Appreciating you? Planning, maybe? You shift a little, feeling awkward. “Be still,” he says. You whisper an apology and he smiles, holding out his hand.

You take it nervously, allowing him to pull you to your feet with ease. You seem to weigh nothing to him, you think. He leads you carefully to the bed, his grip strong on your hand, and pats the thick blanket folded neatly into each corner. “Come,” he commands softly.

Moving to obey, you find the bed is a little too high — makes sense, you suppose, considering it was built for an alpha. He chuckles, recognising your predicament and grabs you gently, lifting you up and carefully placing you atop the blankets. You blush. “Sorry,” you mutter.

He laughs, shaking his head. “No need to be sorry, sweetheart,” he smiles. He clicks his tongue, thoughtful. “Besides… it’s a pleasant surprise just how light you are.”

“Light?” You repeat.

He hums. “Delicate.”

You bite your lip — a little too hard, apparently, because you soon taste blood. His eyes widen slightly at the sight, flooded with hunger but you know he can control himself — you thank the Gods you’re wolves and not vampires. He clears his throat, looking a little dazed and you smile to yourself. You’re doing that.

“Lie back on the pillow,” he says. “It’s time, omega.”

Ignoring the speeding of your heart, you shuffle back, situating yourself in front of the pillow and slowly lying down. You feel yourself become a little lightheaded as you do; excited and terrified all at once. This is the moment you’ve waited for all your life. To be marked, to be claimed, to be mated. Bound forever. Closing your eyes, you try to steady your breathing — in, out, in, out, you chant to yourself over and over. As you do you feel a large, warm hand place itself gently on your shoulder. You don’t need to open his eyes to see, feel his presence inches from your face. “Keep breathing, omega,” he mutters. His voice is low, deep, alpha.

You lift a shaking hand to place it atop of his — even with your eyes closed you can tell he’s impossibly bigger than you. You nod. “I’m ready.”

It’s silent for a moment before a low, soft growl starts to fill the room. It’s barely audible — you wonder if anyone else would even hear it, or if it’s part of your connection with Yunho you’re just beginning to discover. You open your eyes, adjusting to the sight of him hovering above you. He looks unsure but focused, brimming with strength and desire he’s waiting to unleash. Waiting for what?

You reach a hand out, touching his face; it’s impossibly warm and drenched with sweat. Your voice almost gets caught in your throat but you push it out. “Take me,” you whisper. “Take me, alpha.”

It’s immediately clear that was all he needed; the moment you utter those last two fated syllables, a permission, command and plea at the same time, he pounces, diving into you to take you for his own. Your bra comes off easily, ripped off with his teeth. As they move towards your panties they graze against your skin, leaving a thin trail of blood and you can tell these are not his human teeth. No, Yunho isn’t human right now, but nor is he a wolf — he’s right in the sweet spot where he’s as dominant, controlled and calculated as he is when human, but at the same time sharp, sadistic and utterly feral. The perfect mix; the perfect place. You arch your body up off the bed, offering yourself to him, pulling yourself closer. He digs his teeth into the thin band of your panties, ripping them off and discarding them without a word before his hands grab your hips, shoving them back into the mattress. “Down,” he growls, and his voice is unlike you’ve ever heard it.

Wet, desperate kisses attack every inch of your now entirely bare skin, peppering the light, superficial bites he leaves; enough to hurt and enough to bleed but not enough to count. Not enough to brand you. No, that bite is special, anticipated, sacred — he can’t do it yet. You both know it and he holds himself back with the knowledge.

“Spread your legs,” he orders. “Nice and wide for me.”

Your breath hitches, catching in your throat. Slowly you start to part your legs, dragging them apart nervously. You’re nervous, hesitant; he still hasn’t seen your pussy yet, your most intimate and sacred area that he’s shortly going to claim in its entirety.

You’re terrified; terrified he won’t like it, he’ll think it’s ugly, he’ll think it’s not as good as the omegas he’s fucked before. You know that’s not true, realistically; mated by the gods, he’s wired to want you, need you in every way, every part of you. But no one’s ever seen you like that before — seen you there.

Yunho snarls, not fooled by your efforts to delay it. “Too slow,” he says. He grabs your legs, yanking them apart painfully and you yelp, slipping backwards again.

“Yunho…” you start — then stop. When you look up, Yunho is staring directly at your heat, eyes wide and ablaze, practically salivating. A low growl emanates from his throat, making your hairs stand on end. You shiver.

“Baby,” he says. “You’re perfect. I’m gonna fuck you so hard.”

A whine slips from your mouth, nervous and aroused and he shushes you. “You’ll be fine,” he whispers.

He sits back up, eyes growing dark by the minute as he hurriedly stands, allowing him to remove his pants and underwear. When he gets to the thin white dress shirt, fastened with what, in this daze of need, seems to be hundreds of buttons, he seems to grow impatient — with a low growl he easily rips it open, buttons flying everywhere. He hurriedly discards it, leaving him nude and allowing you to see him fully for the first time. You bite back a moan — he’s beautiful. Every inch of his torso is toned and perfected, skin glistening with sweat; strong, muscular thighs support his weight and as he walks back towards the bed, you see the thick muscles tensing and untensing in his arms. But that’s not where your eyes are drawn; it’s a beautiful sight, but you’re still an omega — a hungry, desperate omega at that, so your gaze is fixed a little lower. His dick is long and impossibly thick, pulsating with desire and already leaking slightly from the angry red tip. It looks painful. Delicious. You inhale sharply, willing it towards you. “Yunho…”

“I’m here,” he mutters, he clambers back onto the bed, hovering on top of you and this time wastes little time. Holding his shaft in his hand, he pumps it once, twice, getting it ready. His eyes are fixed on your entrance, entirely black and you know if this wasn’t your alpha, the one bound to protect and care for you, you’d be utterly terrified. He’s massive and powerful and dwarfs you in every way. He could rip you apart.

“I’m scared,” you whisper. It slips out without your permission but he doesn’t mind. He squeezes your thigh, comforting and possessive.

“I know.” He lines his dick up to your entrance, teasing it with the tip and you jump. You’ve never been touched there before. Not even by yourself. He chuckles, reaching to stroke your hair. “Keep breathing,” he says. “Focus on my voice.”

When he finally pushes in, you feel the true scale of his size for the first time. It forces and stretches you open and you feel like you’re going to burst, come undone at the seams or collapse into yourself entirely. But the same stretch, the same burning feeling is insanely, viscerally pleasurable. It’s unlike anything you’ve felt before, anything you’ve dreamed of — or feared. It’s new and divine and just feels… right. He really was made for you.

He’s taking it slow, you can tell; you feel the way he’s holding himself back, forcing himself to be gentle, and you know that’s probably as painful for him as for you. You see the way his limbs shake as he pushes in, struggling to hold themselves back from pinning you down and splitting you open me you bite your lip. “You can move now,” you say softly, invitingly.

He looks at you quizzically for a moment, brows furrowed, before his lips bloom into an amused, knowing smile. “Omega,” he chuckles. “I’m only halfway in.”

You can’t help it; your jaw drops, falling open in shock. That can’t be right. He can’t be— oh. You look down, seeing the truth of his words. He’s halfway inside and you already feel like this. What the fuck will it feel like when he’s actually, properly in?

You soft whine sounds from the bottom of your throat, a million emotions behind it; fear, desperation, a visceral arousal. “Keep going,” you urge, though half of your brain is screaming at you not to.

Something flashes across his eyes and he shakes his head, squeezing your thigh again a little more harshly. “I’ll decide, omega,” he says. You nod, muttering an apology and he groans. “Fuck, omega. I swear I’m gonna teach you some fuckin’ manners.”

“Alpha—”

“No, not now,” he chuckles, knowing what you were going to ask. “I have a long, long time to do that. But stop trying to tell me what to do. I can control myself but not if you provoke me.”

You gulp, nodding dizzily and lying back. You don’t want to provoke him — not now, anyway. There are other, less dangerous times to piss Yunho off than when he’s about to brand you. He chuckles, pressing a kiss to your lower stomach; it tickles, and you can’t help the giggle that slips out. “Cute,” he says. “I’m gonna get this all the way in now, baby. Hold my hand.”

You hear your heart pounding as he grabs your hand, lacing his fingers through yours. He gives it a comforting, immobilising squeeze before he finally pushes himself in fully. Having already been halfway in, you’d gotten used to the pain, but you can’t help the scream that comes out. Yunho is unreal. Without even moving he’s pressed up hard against your cervix, pushing the limits of what you can take, how far your walls can stretch before breaking. You know it’s close; a wrong or sloppy movement on either of your parts could seriously cut or damage you, and the adrenaline is dizzying. And yet like this — in Yunho’s hold, holding his hand, under his care — you’ve never felt so safe. So secure. So destined.

You’ve known you were an omega since you knew what an omega was — you’d presented as a baby, and spent every moment since then being told and reminded of what you are, what you were bound to be. But you admit there’s been times, moments where you’ve wondered; wondered if this is all you were meant for, wondered if you really had a mate out there — if you even wanted one.

Now though, as Yunho slowly starts to move, stretching and pushing you to the limit yet at the same time producing feelings and sensations you didn’t know were possible; as he moves in and out of you perfectly at ease, as if you were made and moulded for him, the doubt is gone. It’s real. It’s true. You’re the perfect omega, his omega, and you were made for Yunho as much as he was made for you.

Tears prickle at the corners of your eyes, pained by the stretch as much as pleasured. Yunho, now speeding up to almost a rut, coos at you, kissing your tears as they slide down your cheeks. “Good girl,” he breathes. “Fuck, you’re taking me so well. No one’s ever taken me like this.”

You groan, mouth wide open and he roughly presses his lips to yours, effectively silencing you; now each sound you make goes directly into him, each scream released against his lips, into his mouth. You can’t think of any way you could possibly be closer to him. Except…

“It’s almost time,” he grunts. By now his thrusts are hard and relentless, lifting your body from the bed and slamming it back down with ruthless proficiency. You’re on a high; impossibly stretched and unbelievably pleasured, and so is he. He lifts himself up, detaching his mouth from yours and you watch his eyes fix on your bare shoulder. Fear trickles into you, diluted by the mountain of emotions and sensations surrounding it. He’s going to do it now. He’s going to mark you and you’re going to be his. Forever.

“Tell me I can brand you, omega,” he says. “Tell me I can or I won’t be able to do it.”

“You can brand me,” you gasp. “Please, alpha. Make me yours. Mark me.”

He opens his mouth and you see his sharp canines more prominent than ever. He moves to take each of your hands in his, holding you down before he dives in, sinking his teeth into your supple, delicate flesh.

The pain is… unexpected. It hurts, undeniably so, but not in the way you’d expected. It doesn’t feel like you’re being bitten, not exactly; it’s a dull yet piercing pain that perforates and warms you at the same time. It’s not pleasurable or pleasant in any way; it’s just natural. Safe. It almost feels like home.

You close your eyes, riding it out; Yunho keeps fucking you through it, which certainly makes it easier, even as his grip on your delicate wrist turns almost bruising. You’re not sure how long he’s biting you for, how long you stay like this; seconds or minutes baby, but you know better than to interrupt him. This is a delicate, ancient process that he knows more about than you do. You just have to take it.

He comes up eventually, eyes wild with desire and blood coating his lips — your blood. You know he’s close to wolf now; he’s only refraining from transforming because he’s still inside you, still fucking you and mating you for the first time. He keeps going, strangled, feral sounds accompanying every rough movement until he comes with a yell, unloading in you, but you’re so dizzy from the bite, from the feeling of blood trickling down your shoulder, that you barely notice until he pulls out, gathering you into his arms. He runs a finger across the mark in your shoulder, inspecting the wound. It’s already healing slightly. The scar will be beautiful.

“My baby,” he mutters. “My mate. Thank you.”

“Yunho,” you whisper. Your voice is hoarse, throat scratchy and painful from the screams and cries you’d let out as he fuck you and he notices, shushing you softly.

“Don’t try to talk yet,” he says, chuckling slightly. “I have a loud one, don’t I?”

You flush, bowing your head. “Sorry.”

“Baby, no,” he laughs. “It’s a good thing. The best, actually. Makes me feel good.”

It’s silent for a moment; a warm and comfortable silence, before you speak. “I didn’t think we’d be bonded,” you admit. “I thought you hated me.”

He hums, thinking for a moment. His hand runs up and down your back in soothing motions as he holds you. “I thought so too,” he says. “But I can see now that I… could never have hated you. Soul ties are just misunderstood. They’re so rare that not much is known about them and they’re not taught, so I… I felt that powerful feeling for you and mistook it for hate.”

“So it wasn’t hate,” you say.

“Of course it wasn’t,” he chuckles. “You’re my omega. Not just because the pack leader said so or anything, but because the Gods said so. That’s everything. And as much as I might want to set you straight a bit—” he pauses, tapping a finger against your cheek lightly, “—and believe me, I will set you straight. The feeling I felt wasn’t love. It was need.”

You nod, humming in content. Your eyes close for a second, heavy with exhaustion from your exertions before they open again. “Shouldn’t I go back to my room now?”

He hesitates, thinking. He’d been the one to insist on that rule earlier, but now… “According to the rules you should,” he says. He pauses, pondering for a moment and sighs, shaking his head like he can’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. “But I want you to stay. Will you stay?”

You smile, nuzzling into his chest happily. He runs a hand through your hair, damp with sweat. You hear the steady beat of his heart and feel the rise and fall of his chest, lifting you up and setting you down with each breath.

“Yes, Yunho,” you whisper. “I’ll stay.”

—————

thank you for reading! again, this isn’t proof read so please forgive errors. i’ve also never written werewolf/omegaverse fics so forgive me if there’s inaccuracies. please reblog and comment if you enjoyed. requests are OPEN. love🖤🖤🖤

[musicalmoritz]

hi hi mutual :D

I’m not a huge aoinene shopper (although I do ship it) but! I wanted to ask for your Aoinene hc’s since I have labeled you as the Aoinene expert in my head and I saw you reblog that post we reblogged about the ship hc’s and such!!

convince me into the aoinene lore…. /hj -Bunny

Hiiiiiii mutual!! First of all I’ve said this before but I love being known as the Aoinene Expert™️, so happy that’s my reputation lol

Headcanons are my specialty so I’m glad you asked this!! I will gladly convince you into the Aoinene lore/hj. They’ve been rotting away my brain all day so I’m gonna take this opportunity to ramble abt them and explain how I see the ship

• So as far as canon goes I wouldn’t change either of the canon pairings for them, shipping for me sort of exists in a multiversal vacuum where I can imagine alternatives for who the characters end up with and how they end up with those ppl via fan content

• I do, however, love the idea of them having mutual crushes on each other in canon. I think Nene plays hers off as just admiring Aoi but deep down she feels the same way abt her that she does Teru and Fuji (or maybe a little bit more serious since they’re best friends). And while I think Akane is Aoi’s ultimate soulmate in canon I can see her having feelings for Nene as well, though I think they’d start to fade once Nene began to pull away from her

• As for fanon tho…

• In my head there’s an alternate universe where these two end up together after everything. This usually involves lesbian Aoi bcuz I do adore that headcanon in anything that’s not the actual manga. I like to think they both developed mutual crushes on each other in middle school and Aoi was very internally angsty and aware of her’s whereas Nene was very repressed abt her feelings for girls in general

• They totally have sleepovers every week, on Fridays specifically. They do typical things like watching movies and painting each other’s nails but they’re teenage girls so they’d also probably try to summon demons. And since this is tbhk they’d probably succeed a few times (now I need an au where Nene summons Bloody Mary instead of Hanako)

• Since it’s Aoinene ofc there’s gotta be a moment when Aoi finally opens up to Nene about everything, but I don’t think that would come without difficulty. Lots of avoiding each other and being super distant bcuz neither of them want to be the first to bring it up, then maybe a dramatic fight or two before they come back together on calmer terms and have a long conversation at one of their sleepovers about everything. Whether platonic or romantic that's usually how I envision their resolution

• I think it would also have to come after Aoi's taken some time to work through her mental health problems, she's made progress but she still has a long way to go and that stuff isn't easy to talk about, especially when she knows Nene's view of her will change

• I don't think Nene ever intends to hurt Aoi though, she's more-so negligent and a bit self-centered. And she seems to know something is off with Aoi never talking abt herself but she can't take that further step into understanding WHY she acts the way that she does

• To be honest I see Nene as stressing a lot when she realizes something's going on because she doesn't want to lose their friendship, and I do think she would embrace the real Aoi with open arms if she ever were to meet her

• Then I think they'd have some struggles of adjusting to their new dynamic and figuring out how they work with Aoi being herself + Aoi would instinctively try to pull away a bit, but I think they'd find a way to make it work

• They would constantly be going on dates, wanting to try new places together. They've probably tried every cafe in their town, I could also see them being the type of couple to have each other's orders memorized

• A lot of fics tend to pull them away from their canon love interests in one way or another but not me, Hanako and Akane automatically become wingmen. Those girls are a mess and they need all the advice they can get, even if their makeshift relationship counsellors are far from qualified

• They match their outfits whenever they go out, and they're also 100% the type to do matching Halloween costumes

• Nene has a houseplant in her room that's a gift from Aoi

• Nene calls Aoi every time she has to run errands but doesn't want to do it alone. They end up at the pet store a lot

• Their moms are both convinced they're secretly dating and place bets on when they'll announce it

• They both get easily flustered around each other when they first start dating but in different ways; Nene is a very loud and dramatic type of flustered, very shoujo protagonist core. And Aoi is more the quiet, tsundere genre of flustered

• In the future I picture Nene as a successful writer and Aoi as a flower shop owner and they have a house by the beach. And a hamster, of course

• I also choose to believe they were girlfriends in the Ghost Hotel au before Aoi passed, then they got reunited when Nene arrived at the hotel

• Nene cries very easily and Aoi is a good fake-crier

• Aoi is a little spoon, pass it on

That's all I can think of rn, tysm for your ask! I am going to continue brainrotting over Aoinene for the foreseeable future lmao

[themculibrary]

Fics With Titles That Start With Z Masterlist

Zap! (ao3) - orphan_account steve/tony, pepper/tony E, 13k

Summary: All you had to do was touch your other half and zap! Literally, you got an electric shock and some lovely blue patterns wherever you happened to touch. Tony never thought he would get a soulmate until he did, and as luck would have it, it would be the good old Captain America! How could two people be so different and yet so perfect for each other?

Zap (ao3) - LegendsofSnark bucky/clint E, 1k

Summary: Tony creates a set of Avengers toys, Clint tests one out

Zelenyy (ao3) - hitlikehammers steve/bucky, clint/phil T, 3k

Summary: zelenyy, зеленый (adj): green; verdant.

If anyone thinks the whole Right on, fuck yeah, let’s join up with the goddamn Avengers! choice was an easy one, well: they’re wrong.

Screwing with Tony Stark, however, is a really good barometer of how far Bucky’s come in the process of living out said choice.

Zen and the Art of Steve Rogers (ao3) - Gfawkes steve/bucky E, 45k

Summary: "Damn. This fucker is stripped."

And so he was.

Bucky had stripped off his t-shirt. A beautiful thunderbird tattoo flexing its spread wings across his shoulder blades.

Desire flared inside Steve, like the flaming bird burned into Bucky's skin. Half of him suddenly regretted every decision he'd ever made. The other half thanked the gods he was standing where he was.

zen & the art of superhero maintenance (ao3) - curiouslyfic clint/steve T, 7k

Summary: In the aftermath of the Battle of Bed-Stuy, Clint gets a new tenant.

He doesn't move in alone.

Zenith (ao3) - Cyan_Rain wanda/vision T, 61k

Summary: Billy and Tommy wake up miles from Westview, in a world that's nothing like the idyllic life their mother made for them, a world still reeling from a bizarre mass disappearance and reappearance people are starting to call "The Blip."

Six years later, there has been no sign of Wanda for so long she's presumed dead. Her children decide it's time to find answers.

Billy, Tommy, Vision, Doctor Strange, America Chavez, and Reed Richards follow a series of clues to another universe, to a variant Earth so different from their own it might as well be an alien planet, where they will face unknown dangers, strange mysteries, and possibly the Scarlet Witch.

Zephyr in the Sky (ao3) - Ladyladylady bucky/clint E, 32k

Summary: Bucky Barnes did not expect Clint Barton to walk into his bar, but he wasn't surprised when he went home with him. No, it was more the three kids and ex-wife that caught him off-guard the next morning.

Join Bucky as he navigates a relationship with a (sexy) older man who's awfully good at keeping secrets while balancing his school, work, and borderline co-dependent friendships with the Maximoff twins.

A love story told through tarot cards and dim-lit bars.

Zeppelin Bend (ao3) - msraven clint/phil M, 8k

Summary: The idea of intimacy of any kind is laughable and my paranoia is increasing to the point where I rarely get more than a few hours of sleep at night. I’m tired and I’m lonely. So if you can help me with all or any of those, I say show me where to sign.

Or the fic where Phil is a very high-priced prostitute.

zero missed calls (ao3) - zippe mj/peter G, 6k

Summary: SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME SPOILERS

Multi-universal communication through phone calls isn’t the easiest way to reach someone. Peter doesn’t care, because his phone is ringing when it never does.

Zing! Went the Strings of My Heart (ao3) - ereshai clint/phil G, 3k

Summary: Phil likes Clint more than he should, so he's just going to distance himself until he gets things under control. Too bad Clint isn't cooperating.

Zombie Hunters, Assemble (ao3) - ereshai clint/phil T, 1k

Summary: Clint has been traveling through the zombie-infested Midwest, alone except for his dog, Lucky.

Zombies (ao3) - EaSnowPw tony/stephen G, 4k

Summary: OR

The zombie survivors welcome a new member in their midst.

Zoo (ao3) - Crockzilla peter/wade, bucky/peggy/steve, pepper/tony, rhodey/sam T, 4k

Summary: Sam takes all five Littles to the zoo. At the same time. Rhodey helps.

Zoodipity (ao3) - Captain_Panda steve/tony T, 14k

Summary: Fury's finally had enough and has kicked the Avengers out of his house headquarters.

With the Grand Zoo Opening just around the corner, Tony's ability to wave a magic wand gets them a chance of a lifetime--or maybe the chance to get a lifetime ban from a Zoo that hasn't even opened yet.

On the bright side, at least they'll have lots of good stories to not tell!

Z to A (ao3) - memoriaeterna wanda/vision, pepper/tony T, 88k

Summary: The moment of disorientation was nothing compared to the next thing he saw. He was standing in the midst of an airport, looking directly at a girl with the familiar red leather coat. The mutual recognition was instant. Leipzig. Or, Peter and Wanda sent back in time to stop the inevitable. Good news: they are not alone. Bad news: who and from when.

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

If you already got this from someone and you just haven't answered yet pls ignore, but if no one else asked i want to add klinger+charles for the relationship bingo ask meme

ok I’m getting to this late as FUCK but PLEASE nobody ever hesitate to send me something for an ask game if I get one ask on a topic I will go YIPPEE and if I get 20 asks on the same topic I will go YIIIIIPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Anyhow you're indeed the only one around here who shows outside interest in our rarepair insanity, a boon I will remember as long as I live btw. Mx. Smoking Marlene Dietrich I owe you the WORLD

TRIPLE BINGO because they are EVERYTHING. to me.

It’s funny. This is the one duo where I almost do just want to post the bingo and leave it at that. Part of me wants to tell people about this ship SO bad, to give novel-length explanations and justifications and theses. But the other part of me is like you know what. You either Get It or you don’t.

Anyways there are 10000 things to say about Them but one is: I specifically did not fill in “gay af to have a sworn rival” even though it cost me another bingo because one of the most fascinating things about the interactions between these two is that they actually do not have a mutually adversarial relationship--even though that’s what writers usually do with two characters on diametrically opposite ends of the socioeconomic spectrum. 

I’ve been thinking about this a bit because I’ve seen people say things like, “It’s great what a funny duo they turned into when they started out hating each other, haha.” And I get why one would think like this but IMO it’s actually not the case! Charles acts more familiar with Max over time because he does that with everyone--

(Though he’s racist towards Max throughout, of course. Because Charles’ racism never goes away. You know that right. MASH fandom I am putting my hands on your shoulders and asking: You know that, right? I keep seeing people talk about Charles having a character arc and a redemption arc so I’m just. I’m just making sure.)

--but Max has actually been pretty nice to him right from the start, back when Charles’ relationship with basically every character was antagonistic. As soon as s6e13 he tells Charles how similar they are, how they should work together to try and get away from the war, how they’re “soulmates”. Even after Charles insults him, he straight up says, “I’m on your side, Major”, which I’m pretty sure remains one of the nicest things someone canonically says to Charles, ever. Just one scene, but emblematic of a greater whole, of quite a few future scenes where Max gamely engages with Charles even when it puts him in unpleasant situations.

And of course, the motivation the show usually gives, on those occasions when it thinks about Maxwell’s motivations at all, is a simple throwaway “Well Charles is paying him / giving him some other material benefit, so obviously Klinger will be his kicked dog! You all know how Middle Eastern people are! We are a groundbreakingly progressive show btw.”

But man. Fuck that shit. This is far afield of my original point but the thing is, Max’s interactions with Charles are often the most egregious exempla of every way the later seasons fucked over my girl here. It almost seems useless to try to analyze any of Max’s actions after a certain point from a Watsonian perspective, when the Doylist reading of the show being too racist and stupid to do anything coherent with him is the ultimate explanation, and sometimes the only explanation you can even come up with, because shit just makes NO fucking sense in-universe. 

But unfortunately I’m a stupid cringe ass fanfic writer/reader, and I love this character, and Max already gets so little screentime compared to the main protagonists, and I don’t want to just ignore him because of the decisions of writers who didn’t care about him.

(That’s the entire reason I started shipping this stupid thing in the first place, btw. I just wanted to read some fanfic where Max is the main character and idk if you’ve noticed but if it weren’t for AO3 user stateofintegrity and their ~problematic cringe ship~, the pickings would be pretty fucking slim.)

So I like to pretend there’s a better reason for Maxwell going from “Major Burns I hate you so fucking much I am going to kill us both with this fucking grenade” to the equivalent of a tumblr blog responding to pathetic anon hate with “are we about to have sex”. After all, if you’re going to write Maxwell yourself, get inside his head and all, then you also have to account for why he tolerates all the OTHER characters’ racism towards him in later seasons, too. 

And the messy problematic reasoning I come up with is that Max is at heart the kindest and also most emotionally intelligent character on the show, and even the liberalized version of the 1950s our story is set in is a systemically bigoted universe that is all he’s ever known and experienced, and he’s certain these are good people, really, when it matters. And being emotionally intelligent, and generally intelligent too for that fucking matter, and observant and insightful, he can tell there’s a big difference between Frank and Charles, and perhaps less of a difference, even, between Charles and Hawkeye. Maybe when you watch things from Hawkeye’s POV, the ideological and moral differences between him and Charles are huge, but maybe if you were in Max’s POV instead there wouldn’t be quite as much of a distinction between them. I don’t know! I don’t know. Just some ideas, I don’t know. 

Of course getting into fucking. internalized racism and such is pretty uncomfy and exhausting shit. And that’s not even touching all the gender stuff my girl has going on. You start to see why nobody wants to get into this character’s head much. But I do :3 And I do honestly think sometimes the most effective way to do that is to look at the Messiest Ship In All Of MASH (TM). As I’ve talked about before from the Charles angle, I love this ship precisely because of its Problems, because they’re problems that exist anyways for both characters, and having the two of them interact makes the problems impossible to ignore, so they maybe finally get to be dealt with. I mean, I just don’t think the optimal resolution to Charles and Max’s racism-laden interactions is that Charles goes back home to a big opulent house and Max struggles to save up to buy a used car in After M*A*S*H. That is not super satisfying. to me. 

This post got derailed to hell but I think what I was trying to say is that Max treats Charles SO much better than that bastard man deserves and I would at least like to see something come of it, for the love of--

[littleoldpessimistme]

20230525

One of the hardest things for me that I have struggled my whole life with and probably will for a long time is loneliness and I’m fine with that fact most of the time, but lately it’s been on my mind a lot.

This sounds really lame and pitiful but the thing is: I’m not alone. I have friends, wonderful ones, and I’m also pretty close with my family (at least my dad’s side, haven’t really talked to my mother in the last 6 years) so I do have people in my corner.

But sometimes I just get this overwhelming feeling of sadness and anxiety that this isn’t gonna last forever and I already sometimes feel like they don’t care as much about me as I care about them.

Basically I have this feeling that all my friends are eventually gonna find partners, settle down with them and start their own life and I’m not gonna be important to them anymore.

I have a wonderful friend. We’ve known each other since we were 10, we were classmates all through high school as well and also best friends. We had a short period when we didn’t talk as much because we used to have the same group of friends but it was kind of toxic (as groups of high school girls sometimes unfortunately are) so I started hanging out with other friends but this girl stayed in that group (we’ve had multiple conversations about this since then and they were actively ruining her life as well lol) so we just kind of stopped talking for a hot second. In the last year of high school we slowly started to talk to each other again and it turned out that she wanted to go to the same university as me and we decided to be roommates.

Two years have passed since then and I feel like we managed to form such a beautiful bond and although neither one of us is really one for displays of affection (we even joke about this sometimes, that we’ve known each other for more than half our lifetime and we’ve only ever hugged each other like a couple times) I really cherish her presence in my life. We just click so well, I don’t think we’ve ever had an argument since we moved in (and I feel like that’s a telling thing, because living together with someone comes with a lot of compromises and is a big milestone in any relationship it’s normal to have some bumps in the road). I sometimes think that I could live my whole life like this just existing in a shared little two bedroom apartment, watching movies on her bed, having deep converastions at midnight when we have to wake up early the next morning, going grocery shopping together, sitting in our tiny kitchen having dinner and laughing until we can’t breathe just like we always do.

I always hated those questions when they ask you to describe how you imagine yourself in five years because I genuinely don’t know what to say. I never had any sense of what I want from the limited time I get to experience on this earth. The only way I could ever imagine being content is to spend my whole life in my childhood bedroom surrounded by my books and blankets and just being left alone, because I’m so incredibly terrified of the responsibilites of adulthood and life and human interactions. But I feel like living with her the way we’re living right now would make me happy. I would go as far as to call her a platonic soulmate.

I know that sounds incredibly cheesy and domestic and honestly kinda like I’m in love with her, but I have no romantic feeling for her at all, it’s just that my platonic feelings are so deep, that they scare even me sometimes. Especially when they come with feelings of jealousy. She has a fiancé, they’re gonna get married next year if everything goes well and I’m truly happy for them. He’s a great guy, we used to be classmates as well, they’ve been dating since the start of high school and they are just so meant to be.

And I feel like such a terrible person for being jealous of him. He’s studying in a different city but every once in a while he visits us, and I see how they are with each other and it always leaves me with such a bitter feeling because I can clearly see that he is to her what she is to me. They are each other’s soulmates, and it’s so stupid but that hurts me so much, the fact that I’ll never be as much of a central person in her life as she is in mine. That I’m not her soulmate.

And I know that I’m being extremely childish and it’s not like people can’t have multiple people they care deeply about but I just feel like people favour romantic relationships way more than friendships and I don’t know if I’ll ever have a romantic partner because that’s just not really someting that I find all that appealing (I may or may not be on the aroace spectrum). I don’t want kisses and dates and lovey-dovey words and sex, I just want someone to be there for me all the time, like a super best friend, someone who also thinks about me as their soulmate, and not just the other way around.

And I know that my friends love me I just can’t help but feel overwhelmingly hopeless sometimes.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Ambiguous/Open Ending (2) Masterlist

part one

Brave (ao3) - TortiTabby

Summary: A vacation on the Isle ends up being the worst and best place to be at the start of the end of the world.

Darling, Will We Talk In The Morning? (ao3) - AnotherPhanficWriter

Summary: Fic where Dan's grindr dates never work out.

Until it accidentally did?

drown my demons (ao3) - schnaf

Summary: Whenever Phil feels all alone, he knows he can rely on Dan. But maybe he shouldn't. And apparently, demons know how to swim.

empty nights, synchronised (ao3) - karcathy

Summary: It's not Phil's first winter in Antarctica, so he's pretty used to how things go around here. A new face catches his eye, but before he has a chance to get to know him, things around the station start to go wrong. The long dark winter becomes a lot more exciting when your survival is at stake.

Flesh of the Church (ao3) - boffinhatwithapipeYuekagami

Summary: There is a war brewing. In the depths of a universe where every now and then, a war is rising up, young people with no military experiences shall be drafted and paint the earth's ground in red. History books list the painters. What about the people of the shadows, their eyes trained into the darkness, their dinner tables devoid of entities who once become a part of their world? What about those people who had to bear the pain of waiting, of praying and hoping? History books list the painters. But no one ever lists the writers.

Give Me My Sin Again (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: It's the era when love is a sin,

but Dan and Phil fall in love despite the rules.

good night bear (ao3) - masonlovesdanandphil

Summary: dan howell loves phil lester.

phil lester loves dan howell.

you know the story two soulmates who met on the internet. just something is different.

dan can’t sleep without watching phil’s videos. oh and phil stopped filming videos

I'm gonna keep falling for you now (even if I keep falling down) (ao3) - t_hens

Summary: 'The first night that we met

We climbed up on your roof

You saw the sky light up the way I did right next to you

"We'll take it slow", you said

As we kissed inside your room

You saw the morning light the way I did right next to you'

i’m not home (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: phil’s last night alone takes a turn for the worst

It's Time to Begin (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan and Phil went through hell and back when they were teenagers to fight against the evil clown. However, when they get called back to Derry, they know that the fight is just beginning again with whatever it is. But old feelings begin to get rehashed and they decide to confess something to the other before they head towards the fight for their lives.

lead me into the light (ao3) - itsmyusualphannie (itsmyusualweeb)

Summary: Dan and Phil are part of a crew of space explorers currently embarking on a dangerous mission to check out a supposedly lifeless planet far away from home.

lost souls (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: People are born with souls, destined to find their soulmates by the colour and shape of the unique, connected birthmark on the small of their back.

If a child is not born with a birthmark like this, which is an extremely rare occurrence, they’re regarded as a lost soul; one without a soul at all. One who’ll only be able to find true love if they try really hard, but usually not at all.

Dan’s in love with his best friend of six years, Phil, and he’s certain there’s some romantic tingles in the air. The only problem? Dan’s a lost soul, and Phil’s not.

Not So Far Away (ao3) - enthuzimuzzy

Summary: Phil decides to go on a walk.

of damsels, knights, and fairytale endings (ao3) - artbabe

Summary: Phil is a shy baker's apprentice in a little village that is quartering knights on their way to a great battle. He catches the eye of Sir Howell, a handsome knight whom he may never see again.

pandemonium (ao3) - schnaf

Summary: The world collapses. And Phil is gone.

remember me, love? (ao3) - CapriciousCrab

Summary: The club was a bit crowded tonight for his taste; the sound of beating hearts and gallons of blood rushing through veins an annoying distraction from his hunt for something to sate his hunger.

seasalt (ao3) - angelmichelangelo

Summary: dan and phil have lived a good life together

Staring at the Sea (ao3) - Allthephils

Summary: Dan wears a braided chain made of finest silver from the north of Spain, a locket that bears the name of the man that he loves.

the genesis of rhythm (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: It isn't the paintings he is here for. It isn't the stall with mismatched shelves and the rows of books in a language he can't understand. It is the man with the brush.

the heart on your keys (it's mine) (ao3) - strawberry_saturn

Summary: Dan marks Phil's keys with a heart, but forgets to take it off before he gives them back.

when you are young, they assume you know nothing (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: After a misunderstanding at prom, Dan finds himself in a dilemma; should he fall into a summer affair with Phil, or should he make up with his boyfriend of 3 years, Blake?

Based on Taylor Swift's Folklore.

[tetsoorou]

fancy business shoes

♡ pairings: timeskip!kuroo tetsurou x gn!reader

♡ warnings: sfw, fluff ?, tiny bit of hurt/relationship trauma/very bleak opinion of love mentioned, kind of implied that reader used to be going through it w an unspecified mental illness

♡ wc: 860

♡ synopsis: you used to think love was stupid, but then you met kuroo. just a short lil drabble that kind of describes how you used to think, how you met him, and how he changed your mind.

♡ a/n: ok so i was coming up empty on where to go with another wip, decided to start on a different one, intentions of writing a spicy lil fic w my boy kuroo here, and then 30 min later this happened ??? no idea what this !!

life with kuroo is easy.

it’s easy and fun and full of life and love and jokes so bad, they’re good. full of laughing until you’re crying at three in the morning on the kitchen floor, and watching the sun rise in his eyes between hushed whispers of “you’re such a dork” (“i love you”) on a weekday because you got so lost in the way he talks about the things he loves, that one hour turned into four which quickly turned into eight.

loving him comes so naturally, you swear the only reason you were put on this earth was to love him for the rest of your lives and then some.

before kuroo, you thought the idea of soulmates – of love – was stupid; something made up to give lonely people enough hope to grab onto to make it through the night. just a notion to make the unbearable weight of life feel light enough to will yourself out of bed in the morning.

you thought by not believing in love you were better than those “poor fools” who had been cruelly tricked into believing its existence. at least you weren’t deluded by some false pretense that there was someone out there made just for you, and you them, right? how arrogant must they be to believe such a thing?

it’s not that you hadn’t experienced love before – oh, no, you certainly had. but it was nothing like what all the movies and books and disgustingly-in-love old married couples told you.

it was hard. it was full of pain and sorrow and hate – what you once thought was the opposite of love quickly became synonymous with it. all those stupid tales about how love is so beautiful and all-encompassing made you produce a sound that sounded exactly like a laugh, but was far too hollow and devoid of joy to call it such.

that was what you truly believed until one particular rainy day in university – the very first day in the last year of what was supposed to be the “best four years of your life” – though, “best four years of your life” is far from what you’d use to describe it.

it had been raining nonstop that day – something you normally wouldn’t mind – save for the fact that the buses weren’t running because you unfortunately secured the worst lab section you’d ever had the displeasure of taking. not only was it three hours long and started so late that the buses were already shut down, but it was also on the opposite side of campus, and you had ten minutes between classes to make the twenty-minute walk to get there.

so by the time you showed up – late of course – you were drenched, shivering, and grumbling about the grim state of life under your breath between little gasps for air. and as if life heard your grumbling and was hell-bent on getting the last laugh; the door was locked.

before you could shout expletives into the empty corridor, a tall, gangly man with incredibly messy hair – somehow, even though it was soaking wet, it still stuck out in every direction – came noisily burling around the corner, mere centimeters away from knocking you over. his jacket was falling off his shoulder and his chest was rising and falling rapidly from sprinting up the stairs, pathetically limp notebook in one hand - probably from trying to use it to shield his head from the rain, albeit unsuccessfully.

he looked like he was having just as terrible a day as you.

“locked, huh?” he had said, and when you nodded in confirmation he actually laughed. to this day, you have no idea why or what he was laughing at. perhaps it was just one of those times where the only thing you could do was laugh; the best alternative to crying.

but nonetheless, his laugh boomed and echoed through the silent, empty hallway of the building (and also your heart) - a little loud and a tad obnoxious, but also contagious. and for the first time in a long time, you laughed too. a real laugh.

that’s when you knew, and as they say, “the rest is history.”

you’re still not sure if you believe in soulmates – the concept seems silly, though kuroo would argue and insist you’re just being pessimistic, gesturing between the two of you as if to say “of course they do. we’re proof, duh.” – but you do believe in love.

love in the form of keen eyes that always seem to be glimmering with a touch of mischief and disheveled black hair that has never learned to lie flat. love in the form of a smirk that never quite seems to completely fade and a laugh so boisterous it could stir the stillest of hearts.

love in the form of fancy business shoes, little gifts that just “reminded him of you,” and an old, but in pristine condition, number one jersey pushed to the back of your shared closet – a testament to the careful way he loves and the kindness he extends to everyone he meets.

love in the form of a man named kuroo tetsurou.

[thefanbasewhore]

Can you do a soulmate Stucky x reader? I feel like you would write that so well, especially how you portrayed bucky in "are you mad at me" was so soft. The soulmate version would be so cute

Summary || Bucky and Steve meet their soulmate, which they had no idea existed.

Warning/content || fluff, a small explicit scene, fighting. Soulmate AU.

Paring || Bucky Barnes x reader x Steve rogers

I got a little carried away, but enjoy ❤️ not edited or beta read but I'm sleepy 😴

Bucky and Steve have had each other from the moment they have met. Imaging their surprise, being two little boys from Brooklyn seeing colors, something the two agreed to hide, pending the time period.

It was different now, a different time. They were accepted and while both of them loved each other, so very much, especially through the mind control, fighting each other, then for each other. They always knew something was missing.

A color, maybe even two, three. A part of them missing but they both collectively came to the conclusion that it was just that. Some missing colors, it happens sometimes.

It happens when they least expect it.

After Thanos, after Tony finally deciding to leave that kind of life behind, buying a small two bedroom house on the outskirts of the city. A home to grow old in, be together for the first time since before the war started but only one thing prevented that.

The house was a disaster, gutted to the foundations, no running water, green moss outside covered the whole house, the lawn completely out of control. For Bucky it was a hard no, it was a dump but the moment Steve fluttered those ridiculously long lashes, how could he say no?

So here they are, sweating on this 90 degree day, putting up new dry wall with no air-conditioning.

"What color should it be?" Steve asks, glancing to his dark haired lover, taking notice of his now shirtless appearance. Bucky let out a sigh, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

"Maybe we should get all of the walls up first."

Steve clicks his tongue, "I like the color green, like a nice pastel mint green."

"Whatever you want, honey." Bucky wasn't too picky, besides whatever made Steve happy, made him happy.

"Hello?" A sweet, feminine voice came from the kitchen. The doors left open because of the heat, there was nothing much in here anyways.

Steve pulls away from his task, pulling his shirt over his head to wipe his forehead with it. "Come in, we are in the kitchen."

Bucky wasn't too alarmed, Steve had told him previously that he hired a someone to make up the yard, nothing too fancy but the both of them were completely clueless when it came to plants, or gardens period.

"Quite a project you have going on here, Mr. Rogers." No doubt taking in the half gutted house along the way. While they have never met, they spoke on the phone briefly about his wants.

"You have no idea, Hun."

The woman looks around the kitchen first, noticing the freshly painted cabinet, the smell a dead giveaway, half eaten burgers thrown to the side on a small, make shift table with barely enough room to fit.

At first glance towards the man she notices the sharp jawline, defined but soft feature of the blonde as she greets him with a smile which soon drops in confusion as small dots of color appear. Stormy blue eyes with a full beard, Steve's mouth dropping agape as he notices the splirts of color - the missing colors for 106 years finally appear.

Bucky notices the tension in the room, shifting his attention from the wall to Steve, noticing how intensely he's staring, Bucky follows the line of vision and meets sweet eyes.

She's hit with another line of color, different from Steve's but now there's no more gray hue, bright yellows and blues. The outside is suddenly so bright and Bucky mouth drops.

This cannot be happening.

They sit there and stare for what seems like hours.

"I - ugh.." she starts, "What is happening?"

***

Sometimes life just throws curve balls, like finding out that your soulmate or in this cause soulmates are two, one hundred year old super soldiers who have already been in love with each other for over a decade.

The pull is already strong, nature intended for these souls to be together until death due part and honestly Bucky could feel it. With Steve he was used to the urge of wanting to have him close, kiss him every free minute he has but with the woman in front of him, it's new.

He doesn't even know her name, watches the way she nervously flickers from Steve's gaze to his own. She's beautiful.

Strong but delicate features, the curve of her nose is cute, cupid lips are so full... kissable. He can't stop staring, even with Steve and her in the mist of conversation. The make shift table cleared of all prior mess, Buck and Steve have to share a chair, which is quite comical, seeing two giant supersoldier try to share a small, old, dinning room seat.

Bucky's metal fingers twitch, metal plate click and whirl to life as he tights to urge to map her face out with his fingers. His heart is beating so fast, filled with so much... Love? Joy?

No matter how much Steve and Bucky try to hide it.. deep down they always knew, something was missing and in this case, someone.

"You're beautiful." The words catch both her and Steve off guard, Bucky blushes red something terrible but the sweet smile defuses the fire.

Well until she says something back, "You are too."

His whole face is hot and Steve reaches over to affectionately rub the back of his shoulder. Of course Steve was calm, he always is.

He handles things with lots of thought and understanding, while Buck is more hot headed, acts on the moment.

***

"It doesn't feel right." Bucky comments, watching from the window to insure she safely gets into the car. Steve sighs, by the time they're done talking darkness has filled the house. Steve affectionately squeezes the brunette's bicep, pressing a kiss to his hair.

"I know Bucky. This is a lot for her, for us. She needs to take time and reflect on this. She'll come to us when she's ready."

Bucky knows nothing then her name, and love for plants but chews at his bottom lip nervously. She's too far, the bond pulls at his heart strings. Now bonded forever. "What if she never comes back?"

"She will."

***

A few days pass, the kitchen is finally done, new appliances, new china and kitchen fully stocked. Steve is making something for Dinner - it smells amazing while Bucky starts painting the walls of the lifeless living room.

It's bare, not even something to sit on but no doubt with the stamina of two super soldiers it will be done by next week.

The knock on the front door is unexpected, but Bucky replies quickly. "I got it, Stevie!"

He expects some older, much wrinkly neighbor to be complaining about the noise of the nail gone or something this late at night. His mouth drops, a little shocked at the sight of her.

A very formal sitting dress, long and black, dips into a sweetheart neckline, the valley of her breasts easily visible. Hair is thrown into a neat updo, sexy and sleek.

Bucky clears his throat. "Hi." He squeaks out, feeling like a total idiot as he watches her nervously shift her weight from one heel to the other.

"Hi, I was in the area. A wedding for one my clients, thought I'd come say hello." Bucky wants to shake his head in disbelief that something so beautiful, just like Steve is made for him.

The universe sculpted and made two beautiful, breath taking human beings to be his and it's overwhelming. She's so pretty it's alarming.

It was a good excuse, the truth but not the real reason she stopped by. How could she tell them that they have been on her mind none stop? It physically hurts to be away for so long.

"Who is it, Buck?" Steve mumbles, interrupting the thick tension between the two.

"Come in, doll." Bucky's helps her with the jacket that lays over his shoulders, mentioning his head towards the direction of the kitchen, where his other lover is.

Steve is stunned none the less, he at least expected a few more days. Also, feeling much like Bucky, amazed by the radiating beauty.

He decides to play it cool, dimples forming with a breath taking smile. "Do you like spaghetti?"

Hours pass, time moves so fast with conversation, and adding wine to the mix surely didn't help.

The trio once again in the kitchen, but this time each have a chair, a new, more comfortable dinning set.

"You got this done fast. It's beautiful." She comments, "Colors are beautiful, I guess I have you two to thank for that."

Bucky shifts in his seat, the glass of wine is useless but still finds himself sipping from it. Her eyes are red, watery with a slight buzz.

"Do you feel it?" The question has both Bucky and Steve look at each other, watching her teary eyes as she presses a hand to sooth the ache in her chest. "It hurts, it hurts to be away. All week."

"It's normal." Steve answers just above a whisper, his next words make Bucky's bottom lip quiver. "I felt it every day for the last 5 years, Bucky was gone."

Bucky had never thought about it - there hasn't been enough time to. It's only been a month later since the return and it never occurred to him what Steve has gone through.

"Steve.." He starts, tears kiss his waterline as his fingers run through the blonde's hair. "I'm sorry sweetheart, I didn't know, I -."

"Couldn't prevent it Buck. It happened but you're here now and.." Steve turns his attention towards the girl, tears slip past her eyelids. It's for Steve, for Bucky.. all the pain and suffering they've been through. "Hey, don't cry, it's alright beautiful."

It's feels right, despite barely knowing the man, nothing feel more right then being pulled into his chest as a large metal hand comforts her in a different way, rubbing the loose strands of hair as he murmurs. "We've got you now, you're our other half."

***

Months have past from that day. The house is finally done, everything they could have imagined with the additional of an extra tooth brush in the cup that sits on the bathroom sink, a pile of fuzzy blankets at the bottom of the bed and a five year old chocolate lab. Steve didn't mind much, he's always loved dogs, Bucky on the other hand...

"Alright, alright, Maverick." Bucky huffs, grocery bags in hand as the dog excitedly nuzzles his legs, following him throughout the house like it wasn't only an hour ago he's seen him. Once putting the bags down, hears the whine, big brown eyes staring up at him. Bucky sighs, dropping to a knee before petting the pup's head. "Alright you mutt, don't tell anyone about this."

"Too late, pal." Bucky jumps, hearing the amusement in Steve's voice, followed by the giggle of the woman that peers out from behind him. Wrapping her arms around Steve before testing her head against his shoulder.

"Caught you red handed, you love Mav." Bucky grumbles at her words, feeling two smaller hands wrap around his waist as a head falls into his chest. He presses a soft kiss into her hair before taking in the blonde that barely fits through the doorway he leans against.

Bucky's free hand reaches out, mentioning him closer but as she's soon finds herself in the middle of a super soldier sandwich. "Hi, baby." Bucky presses a kiss to the blonde's lips.

"Hi, pal."

***

"It's only one mission. That's it, we will be in and out." Steve promises, not liking the way his girls face twist into a worried expression.

Heavy eyes, lower lip sticking out to pout. "What if something happens? If you get hurt? Or if they find you, Bucky?"

"I told you, Hydra is gone, honey." Bucky's large hands sooth over her tight shoulders, pressing soft kisses to the back of her upper traps.

"No. You still have nightmares at least three times a week. This can't be good for you. And you." She turns her attention back towards Steve, "Barely sleep four hours a night. You carry the fault on your shoulders, you don't need anymore. I don't want you two to go."

"We don't have a choice. They were my family once, I owe this to them." Steve didn't miss the way her lips moves to form a snarl, not sparing another glance as she makes a b-line for the stairs.

Bucky sighs, leaning against the wall. "She's going to be mad at us." Rubbing his chest with hopes to ease the burn.

The bond pulls at their hearts, a slow, painful punishment for their actions.

They return two weeks later, tired, just wanting to see their girl. The moment they walk into the house they look at each other with will wild eyes, heart pumping as they fear the worse. The dog, the annoying wiggling tail that would bark is one where to be found, something is wrong.

It's alarming. "Where is that freaking mutt?"

Steve calls her name, but there is no answer. Bucky and him are searching the house, ascending the stairs, opening the bedroom door with a deep sigh of relief.

The stupid dog takes up half of the bed, but is cuddled into his owner. Arm draped around the ball of fur, amount as long as her.

The dog lifts his head, a little tail waggle as Steve stretches his ears, lowering to his knees and laying his top half over the bed to press loud, audible kisses to his ears. "Good boy, protecting our girl while we are gone."

When morning comes she notices the dog is still pressed against her, licking small stripes against her cheeks. "Have to go out, buddy?"

She barely makes it five steps before tripping over two rather large bodies, sleeping on a makeshift bed on the floor. Bucky groans and Steve's eyes flicker open.

"Why are you on the floor?"

"Wanted you to sleep pretty girl. Mav was taking up all the room and you looked like an angel." Bucky hums in agreement despite his eyes being closed.

"Mmm, well it's all free now." It's short, simple but the sarcastic tone has Bucky's eyes flickering to meet his boyfriend's. They both sigh, staring up at the ceiling, knowing it's going to be a long day.

And it is. She's does whatever she can to get away from them, only answers with short replies to the point Bucky can't take it anymore.

"Sweetheart," Bucky tries again but she doesn't acknowledge him, eyes stayed glued to the book. He gets fed up, metal plates click as artificial appendages run over the binding and pull it from her grasp.

"Give it back, James."

He cringes at the name, a displeased frown wears his face. "No, you have to talk to us."

"No."

"You're bring a brat." Bucky starts, watching her expression change from annoyed to anger, wrinkles of frustration pinch between her eyebrows.

"Buck - don't say that to her." Steve comments, it's his fault, he's the one who said yes without confiding in her first.

"She is, it's over with now. She has no right to be this mad."

"No right?" Her chest fills with emotion as a humourless chuckle causes both men to stiffen. "No right? Huh Buck? I sat here for two full weeks, no communication, nothing while the two of you are out there fighting God knows what after you swore, promised you would always be with me. Don't promise me forever if you're just going to throw yourself in danger! You're going to die and leave me, or worse! Both of you will."

No one says a word, only watch as her chest rises and falls with deep, heavy pants despite the tears that rolls past her eyes lashes.

"Honey, I'm sorry -."

"I don't want to hear it James, and you." She turns towards Steve, fire in her soul. "I thought you would understand, more then him, considering it has happened to you."

She leaves the room without another word, Buck turns towards Steve, watching the way he fights the tears that gather. The pain of loosing Bucky is still so fresh, "She's right Buck, we fucked up."

"I know, I know." He mumbles into Steve's shoulder, pulling him close.

***

"You're so good to me, sweet girl." Bucky moans as she shifts her hips against him, the blunt end of his cock hitting the spot inside her that makes her squeal for more.

Large hands squeeze her hips as Steve leans over to find his boyfriend's lips, kissing him through the gasps and whines of their girl's name as she circles her hips around Bucky.

Steve's hands pull at his hair, lips trailing from his lips, down his cheeks before nipping at his jaw.

"How does he feel honey?"

"So good, Stevie." For a second he's in a trance, watching the way her face contours with pleasure and the pain of her third orgasm well on its way.

Steve lays next to Buck, hand wrapping around his own heaviness between his legs as he stokes it, switching between her face of pleasure to Bucky's, who bites his lip to suppress a moan.

It's short lived as hips stutter against her own, coating her walls with his warm cum.

Steve barely gives her time to recover, positioning her on his hands and knees before hovering over her ear and nibbling on it. "My turn, honey."

***

Her hands nervously shake, the kitchen table is all set up, dinner is ready but at the moment she doesn't have an appetite.

Between this morning sickness, the overall change her body is under going, food makes her sick. The opening of the front door makes her sit up straight, sucking in a deep breath.

Two voices conversationing in the hall, "I thought I said for you to lock the door when we leave." Buck is clearly annoyed, it's been a long day but Steve rubs his shoulders, mumbling something incoherent.

Upon entering the kitchen, they both grow worried. Face drained of color, red blotchy eyes with shaky hands.

"Hey, hey." Steve drops to his knees in front of her seat in an instant, hands curling around her wrist as worried steel blue eyes follow his stance, reaching over to stroke her cheek. "What is it? What happened?"

"I'm pregnant." She pauses, "I'm scared, I'm scared. What if someone comes for you? How are we supposed to raise a baby? What if it has the serum, will it ever be safe?"

The questions fill Bucky with dread, how much though put into every sentence, every word is like a new hit of pain to his body but he stays strong. For his girl, he leans forward, wiping the tears away from discolored cheeks. "Everything is going to be fine babydoll, you're going to be fine, our baby is going to be fine."

[slasherhaven]

Bo Sinclair X Reader

Part 1 HERE

People wanted a part 2, so here you go!

Soulmate AU: shared pain and shared scars part 2:

What had started with you and some friends trying to get a fan belt for their car and maybe some mild flirting with the man who owned the garage, had all ended in hell breaking loose. Bo had been charming and helpful, you had felt an instant connection to him, the type of connection that soulmates so often talked about.

At first you had been disappointed that he didn't seem to recognise your scars, proving he wasn't your soulmate, but now you were thankful for it. At least you weren't cosmically tied to the man who had just turned and attacked your friends.

He had shot Wade and Carly had disappeared. You had been dragged to a basement beneath the garage and left there, him promising to deal with the rest of the group you came with before returning.

Out of the people you came on the road trip, you only really knew Carly. She was the only one you would truly have to mourn but seeing Wade shot like that and knowing the others were next was undeniably traumatic.

Left alone in the basement, you tried to find a way out but there was only a heavy locked door between you and your freedom. When trying to open it failed, you settled for banging on it and shouting for help. You hoped that some other of Carly's friends would come looking for the three of you when you were gone for so long, maybe they would hear you and you could get out of here.

It was impossible to tell how much time passed, hands becoming bloodied from repeatedly hitting the door, throat becoming sore from shouting. But you were finally interrupted by the sound of a car approaching. You stopped and stepped away from the door, looking up at the ceiling as the car came to a stop.

God, you hoped it was somebody from the camp...

You began to panic as you heard feet descending the stairs outside of the locked door, moving yourself further away from it. You heard the lock clicking before the door was pushed open, Bo stepping into the dimly lit basement.

"Stop banging on the fucking door" Bo snapped, clearly frustrated despite likely not having heard it if he was out in his truck...

You didn't respond but he moved closer and you noticed that he had left the door open. At this point, you had run out of options and had to take every opportunity that presented itself.

You suddenly darted towards the door, trying to pass him, but it was fruitless. Bo quickly caught you, grabbing you by the arms and standing in front of you to further block your path. You thrashed and fought against him but it was no use.

"The others?..." you asked, dread clear in your voice.

"My brother is dealing with them" Bo informed you, like it was nothing.

"...are you going to hurt me?" you were already sure of the answer, you just didn't know what he wanted from you. Why had he left you in the basement rather than just disposing of you like he had done the others.

"No. That would be, quite literally, self destructive" he chuckled darkly. He was too calm, you just knew what he had done to your friends...he had done before.

"What?" you didn't understand his comment.

Bo grabbed your wrist, his bloody hand wrapped completely around the scarring on your wrist, almost like it was instinctual. As he released your other arm, you tried to pull your hand away but his grip was too tight. With his free hand, he pulled up the sleeve his coveralls, revealing scarring that was identical to yours.

You stared at the twisted skin, processing what this meant. You had been right from the beginning when you first saw him, this was your soulmate.

"No...no" you shook your head, trying harder to pull your wrist out of his grasp. You just kept repeated the word 'no' as tears streamed from your eyes. How could you soulmate be somebody who did such awful things.

"Shhh, it's alright" Bo cooed, almost ironically. He continued to shush you as he pulled you against his chest, wrapping his arms around you.

Your brain told you that you should be a far away from him as possible, to kick and scream, but his embrace was strange comforting. Of course it was, you were fated to find comfort in his arms. Destined to meet him and love him. The universe wanted you both together, it was meant to be.

Maybe that was why your body began to relax as you cried into his chest, clutching at his coveralls. You hated him, you wanted to hate him, you needed to hate him. Yet, you were destined not too.

Bo kept you held against his chest and you couldn't even find it within yourself to pull away, finding comfort in the source of your pain.

Slowly, the sinking realisation settled. If you were Bo's soulmate, there was no way he was letting you leave. He had already made sure that there was nobody left to tell anyone where you were. If anyone eventually worried about your group going missing, they would assume you all ran off somewhere or eventually decide that you were the next mysterious case of missing people. It was unlikely anyone would track you down to a random, deserted, little town.

"You're home now" Bo whispered into your hair.

You sobbed at the realisation, and yet you clung tighter to him. He just held you tighter.

Bo smirked to himself as he ran a hand over your hair, only to have you shift closer to him. He knew that you hated him but he was confident that would change over time. Just from the way you were acting now, he knew he could win you over, and he knew you wouldn't be leaving him.

"C'mon, let's get you cleaned up" you didn't respond as he pulled away, grasping your arm before guiding you out of the basement.

He kept hold of your arm as he walked you through Ambrose, towards the house he had taken you too earlier that day. As you were walking along the road, a familiar truck pulled up beside you both, bringing you to a halt.

Lester, the man who had brought you into Ambrose in the first place, hopped out of the truck.

"Everything's cleaned up" he informed Bo before looking at you and grinning. "they're your soulmate?" Bo just nodded, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you into his side. "It must be your lucky day" Lester teased his brother, who only rolled his eyes. You frowned a little. Meeting your soulmate was meant to be a good, a lucky, day...unfortunately this had also been one of the worst days of your life.

"Go see how Vincent is doing, alright?" Bo asked, sending his younger brother away.

Lester just rolled his eyes before climbing back into his truck. He had wanted to stick around and get to know his brother's soulmate a bit more, but he understood that you were probably shaken.

Finally, you and Bo returned to his house and he led you into the kitchen, where he sat you down in a chair. You stayed silent, processing, as he washed his hands in the sink, washing the blood away.

Once his hands were clean, he wet a cloth and returned to you, pulling a chair out opposite you before sitting down.

He grasped your hands and you allowed him too, letting him pull them into his lap as he began to wipe away the blood.

"You're in shock and you're angry but you'll come around" Bo sounded sure about that but you supposed he had every right to be, you were his soulmate after all. You had to come around. "You know I can't hurt you, or let anyone else hurt you, right?" he asked and you just nodded. Of course he can't hurt you, it would only be hurting himself. Literally. At least you had that peace of mind.

You watched as he cleaned your hands, it was almost tender. A complete contrast to the cruelty he had treated the rest of your group with.

"Why did you do all this?" you asked quietly when it fell silent.

"I'll explain everything later" Bo promised, knowing he had a lot to explain and that he had to tell you everything. You would find out one way or another.

You just nodded, hanging your head. "Hey, c'mon now, the worst is over" he reassured you, lifting a hand to wipe a tear from under your eye with his thumb. "I know this probably ain't how you expected to meet your soulmate but you're gonna be just fine, darlin'" he did sound genuinely sympathetic, at least to some extent.

Removing his hand from your face, Bo stood from his chair, going to drop the now bloodied rag into the sink.

You weren't sure what came over you but you quickly grabbed his hand, stilling him. You just felt safer, the closer he was. A instinctual part of you wanted him to remain close, as if it didn't understand the nuance of the situation. He seemed a little surprised but turned to you expectantly.

"How did you get those scars?" you asked. Something you had wondered all your life.

"You still feel bad for me?" Bo asked, almost sarcastically, like he couldn't imagine you having any sympathy for him anymore.

"You were a child...I would never blame you for that" you shook your head.

"...I'll tell you later, okay? When you actually want to talk to me" Bo promised. You opened your mouth but quickly shut it again, knowing he was right. How could you talk to him about something like that after what he just did? You shouldn't have even asked.

You reluctantly released his hand, letting him dispose of the cloth.

You didn't want to admit it but you knew that eventually you would want to talk to him, that your fated connection would become much stronger than your determination to hate him for the horrible things he has done. There would come a day when you simply...didn't care anymore, and you would want him by your side despite it all.

[vukovich]

peculiar prompt: soulmate au where your dick is the same exact length as your soulmate’s (i guess everyone has a dick in this universe idk 😂) anyways drarry discovering they are soulmates in whatever convoluted way you would like!

Nine and Three Quarters

Summer weddings were an unlikely tradition for a family that ran high to freckles and sunburns, but Harry didn't mind. Usually.

This wedding, though, he'd have just as soon not attended. It wasn't that he harbored any romantic intentions toward Charlie, but seeing him so bloody happy made Harry keenly aware of his own solitude.

Charlie and Constantin fed each other forkfuls of cake and grinned. They were perfectly-matched. Identical white short sleeve dress shirts and gold waistcoats, sparkling blue eyes and mirrored grins as they threatened each other with blobs of icing, much to Molly's horror.

Their matching gold rings felt like an extension of the tattoos on the underside of their left forearms. Charlie's was a dragon, of course. Constantin's was a crouched hippogriff. They were exactly the same size, but different designs and colors.

Forearm tattoos abounded among gay wizards, but it had taken seeing Charlie and Constantin together for him to notice the pattern. A plate of cake floated to his table and set itself down in front of him. He picked it apart with his fork, separating the layers of frosting out from the the cake, then mashed the fluffy cake down into a pellet.

A breathless Charlie flopped into an empty chair next to him and surveyed the wreckage on his plate.

"Got a grudge against that cake?"

"Huh? Oh. No. Sorry."

Charlie slid Harry's cake away, probably for its own good. Constantin and Fleur fox-trotted past, and one of them reached out to ruffle Charlie's hair.

"No date?"

"Nah." Harry licked his fork clean, rolled the bits of cake around in his mouth, and wished he'd have eaten the slice.

"Still doing the playboy thing, eh?"

Harry shrugged. "I guess."

Charlie huffed a laugh. "You guess? What else would you be doing at clubs?"

Harry shrugged again.

"Well, if you get tired of it and want the name of a really good soulmate tattoo artist, let me know." Charlie wiped up a dab of frosting off Harry's plate and popped his finger in his mouth. "Until then, enjoy hunting in the dark."

Charlie rose to leave, but Harry reached out and grabbed him by the buckle on the back of his waistcoat.

"Soulmate tattoos?"

--

--

"But I thought the tattoo went on my arm."

Harry kept his hands in his jeans pockets, just in case the man decided to help him disrobe.

"It does..."

Bushy grey eyebrows rose in speculation, and the man's brown eyes squinted at Harry, unsure of whether Harry was playing a prank, playing dumb, or playing at nothing.

"So why would I take my trousers off?"

"Riiiggght," he said slowly, gently spinning back and forth on his stool. "Why don't you tell me what you do know about soulmate tattoos."

Harry hooked his thumbs in his pockets and looked around the tattoo parlour for clues, but there was nothing but drawings on the walls. Pictures of forearms, too, all with differing sizes of beasts and creatures on them.

"Uhm," Harry started, "they go on forearms." The man nodded and motioned for him to continue. "And... they're... magic?"

The man shook his head and sighed. "The death of gay wizard culture, I swear. I blame that app."

"Wait, there's an app for-"

"Soulmate tattoos are the size of the wearer's dick."

Every tattoo Harry had ever seen ran through his head at once, and he stood slack-jawed for what felt like hours.

The man continued. "And so part of getting one is getting your dick measured. Professionally."

"I... Uh..."

"Men lie on the app. That's why all these boys are running around thinking they don't have soulmates, but older men know better. Back in the day, we'd just walk up to a bloke, line our arms up, and pair off."

Harry looked at the ceiling and tried to imagine a scenario in which that didn't sound both terrifying and oddly comforting.

"Why would you line them up?"

The man stared at him for a long. fucking. time.

"Soulmate dicks match, kid." He grumbled something about the Internet. "Now do you want the tattoo or not?"

"I... Uhm... Maybe later?"

"Suit yourself."

--

There had to be a better way to do this.

Harry balanced on tip-toe, focused on his dick with one eye, and dipped his quill. His tongue peeked out a corner of his lips as he concentrated on tracing around his shaft.

Was the quill angled accurately? Was the nib too far from his skin to be accurate? Was width even relevant?

He let out a held breath and dropped down to his heels. The paper on his desk was an embarrassment.

"Looks like a fucking caterpillar," he grumbled to himself.

Maybe they made enchanted quills for this.

--

The nook of art supplies at Flourish and Blotts was overwhelming, but it smelled good. Needle-sharp enchanted nibs sounded like a terrible idea. Image-grabbing paper sounded equally dangerous. What if he got his dick stabbed or absorbed into a piece of paper?

Someone cleared their throat behind him.

"Can I help you?"

Draco Malfoy met his eyes with a hesitant smile. He looked strangely at home surrounded by paper and ink. He wore a rumpled black t-shirt that advertised in bold white letters "Truth Quills: The Reign of Error Ends Here".

"Uhm... maybe?"

"What kind of project are you working on?"

"I'm... just... tracing something?"

Draco nodded and reached up to grab a pack of nibs just above Harry's head. The Dark Mark on his forearm caught Harry's eye. It wasn't a Dark Mark anymore. The skull wore a crown of red roses, and the snake had been filled in with vibrant yellow and blue markings. Harry decided it looked a bit like a Grateful Dead album cover. But prettier.

"These are good for most projects if you're just starting out."

Draco handed him a plastic box with more thingamajigs than he had any idea what to do with.

"Uhm, okay. Thanks."

"No problem." Draco's eyes wandered down to Harry's forearm and his smile faltered. "Anything else?"

"No, I think I'm good."

--

He wasn't good. He was nowhere near good, and he had black ink all over his dick. Also on his hands, and the table, and the floor, but those were less important.

"Looks like a goddamn Holstein dong."

--

"Alright," Draco said, and his smile was bordering on a smirk. "But what's the reference? What are you trying to trace?"

A dozen dick-shaped things came to mind, and Harry blurted, "A banana."

Draco did not laugh. Not with his mouth. Just with his eyes. His t-shirt today said "Blink Ink: Drier than your ex" in jagged black script.

"Mm hm," Draco squeaked through his nose. "Is accuracy important?"

Harry let out a relieved sigh. "Yes."

Draco cleared his throat and schooled his face. "Here."

He handed Harry a Truth Quill. "That ought to give you an accurate outline of your... banana."

--

"Hot damn!"

Harry held the outline of his cock up to the light. Damned if it wasn't perfect. He laid it face-down on his forearm and frowned. How was he supposed to get it onto his skin?

--

Draco faked a cough and covered his mouth and nose with his hand. "Pardon?"

"I need to transfer it."

"But a backlight won't work because..."

"Uhm... it can't... light can't go through the... other... thing."

Draco's t-shirt today had a frilly, looping font that said, "Nearotica: Almost There."

"Dare I ask what material you're transferring this banana onto?"

Harry focused on Draco's forearm, and the curve of the roses, and the sinewy body of the snake.

"Uhm... leather?"

Draco shot him a challenging look Harry didn't understand. "I suppose you'd want a cautery tool for that."

"Uhm... okay."

--

He wasn't okay. He had two burned dots on his forearm, and a hole in his paper at the base and tip of the outline.

Over a hundred galleons spent, and all he had to show for it were what looked like two mosquito bites that were exactly one penis-length apart.

The hell with all of it.

--

Harry dropped bags of barely-used art supplies on the store counter, and Draco's chin snapped up. He cocked his head and looked at the bags while Harry read his t-shirt: "Thrill Your Darlings: Tropes and Nopes."

"Didn't work out?" Draco asked.

Harry bent down, rested his elbows on the counter, and shook his head. "Can I return it?"

Draco shrugged. "Store credit, since it's all been opened."

Harry buried his face in his hands. "I'll take it in coloring books."

"I'll throw in some markers."

Draco shot him a pitying smile and stood to collect the bags. His eyes caught on the two burn marks on Harry's forearm. He set his elbow next to Harry's and pressed their wrists together.

"Huh," Draco exhaled. He rolled his tattoo against Harry's forearm. The peak of the rose crown touched the mark nearest Harry's wrist, and the snake's tail met the other.

Harry stared at their arms, wide-eyed and panicked in the best way.

"Is it-" Harry started. "Do they, uhm..."

"I... do believe so. If your banana outline was accurate."

Harry gulped. "It was."

"Huh," Draco repeated. "Well, in that case, there's a giant mandala coloring poster I've had my eye on, but it's a bit much for one person."

Harry let a grin spread across his face. "Consider it sold."

[savoryscribbles]

Love Is Not Mortal Bound

A/n: hehehehe more Genshin.

Background Knowledge: This idea is… difficult to explain… so I have no idea where I got the idea, but for some reason I thought that Rex Lapis(Zhongli) has given Cloud Retainer her knowledge to make contraptions and Mountain Shaper his umm Amber flowers? I looked back at the dialogue again, and no surprise, I was wrong. But following this idea, I had come up with this fic idea, so I’m just gonna like, shift the universe a lil bit. So like, you’ll see later, but Xiao too gets his own thanks from Rex, he just doesn’t know it.

Words: I have no clue, I’m sorry. It’s lots tho

Warnings: just a lil lot bit o’ angst, ends happily though!

Pairing: Xiao x half-adeptus!gn!reader, platonic!friends!Zhongli x reader

Tags: Sort of soulmate AU?, angst at the beginning(reader gets rejected), reincarnation(really only mentions of it but still), long convos with Zhongli lmao, he’s also kinda ooc(out of character) cause I just met him in game today, swearing, lots of interruptions cause they’re my fav dialogue to right tbh.

You and Xiao sat atop the balcony at the Wangshu Inn, as usual, but one thing made this day different. You no longer wanted to hide your feelings for the adepti, so this was the day you’d tell him. And that part went smoothly, you hardly stumbled over your words, sure you were shaking a little bit, but who wouldn’t be nervous confessing their love to a 2000+ year old adapti? What you weren’t prepared for, was his response.

“Hmm? Love? You almost make chuckle. You don’t love me, no mortal loves me.” He dryly chuckled, not even cracking a slight smile.

“Half mortal.” You mutter under your breath. You were embarrassed, forgetting how much rejection hurts.

“But do you-“

“I would only hurt you in the long run, and you would only hurt me. I don’t know if you realize this, but I’m still going to live a lot longer than you, no matter what part adepti you are. And no I do not love you” Xiao crudely cut you off.

At this point your eyes had begun to swell with tears. Maybe it was cliche, but you couldn’t think of anything else besides running, to somewhere you didn’t have to hear the harsh words of the adeptus.

Xiao’s POV:

It hurt like hell.

Worse than any sort of karmic debt he had to pay, if he could choose, he’d rather pay his dues a thousand times over.

The worst part was he knew he’d hurt you, purposefully. Which he long ago sworn himself from doing. And no matter how much he tried to justify it, the pain would not leave.

Xiao also didn’t know why exactly he felt this pain. He has gotten far to close to many people before, and every time they’d confess, he’d reject them the same way, you were no different.

Except you were, in every way possible. Of all the people he’d met in his thousands of years he’d never been more intrigued by someone. He’d never met nor heard of a ‘half-adeptus.’ Xiao also never really felt drawn to such a bubbly person, preferring the company of those who could handle the harsh angles of his personality.

Did he regret hurting you? Yes, but that pain would be temporary, saving both him and you the potentially thousands your relationship would cause.

Reader’s POV:

By sunset you were in Liyue, your tears had run dry hours ago, you didn’t feel anything short of numb, barely uttering an apology to the person you’d ran into.

“Oh! Hello y/n, how did things go with Xiao?” Zhongli asked, nearly sending you into another onslaught of tears. You had asked for his opinion on your idea earlier that day, which he almost instantly supported. You’d found it odd, seeing as he usual talked it out with you, but all he’d done is provide the best support a unnerving geo archon could.

“Not good.” You whispered, trying to push past him, which proved to be fruitless as he put his hand atop your shoulders.

“Come with me, we shall talk over tea.” You slightly nodded. You felt like shit, but you supposed talking wouldn’t make you feel worse.

As Zhongli made the tea, which you could tell was one of your favorite blends, your thoughts drifted back to earlier.

‘You don’t love me, no mortal loves me.’

You looked up, bring yourself back to the room before you, finding Zhongli already staring at you. He offered a tiny smile as you met his eyes.

“So, what happened? I can assume from your body language that things didn’t exactly go well.” He pondered, not really expecting an answer.

“Well… um. He. We, we were sitting. on the balcony like we usually did… I, waited for the conversation to lull. Then I kinda just brought it up.” You shrugged, looking anywhere but Zhongli’s eyes. You saw him nod out of the corner of your eye, so you continued.

“And then it really went down hill,” you lightly chuckled “he was really, mean about it. Sure he’s rude, he’s blunt, and he’s a huge grump, but,,, I don’t know how I thought he’d act, I don’t know why I even did it, what was I supposed to expect out of this?” You exclaimed actually laughing now, causing Zhongli to put a hand on yours.

“He’s softer when he’s with you. You simply thought he’d be nice about it, most are, depending on their maturity.” You nodded, he somehow put your feelings into a comprehensible sentence.

“At, at first I, I held on a ounce of hope, because he, he didn’t say he didn’t love me.” You offered, shrugging.

“He doesn’t though.” You muttered, looking at your half empty cup.

“Oh? What makes you say that?” He asked, which made you scoff.

“He literally said he didn’t! He didn’t even sugar coat it, in fact he probably mistook the salt for sugar.” You responded. ‘There’s no way in hell he loves me.’

“Hmm, still, Xiao is a complicated adepti, he is the most loyal, yet most hesitant. It took almost a millennia to gain his trust fully. I bet if you called for him he would come-.”

“I’m not testing that theory.” You interrupted.

“I wasn’t asking you to. Just stating a mere fact.” He responded with a slight smirk.

“It doesn’t matter anyways, if I wanted him to even consider reciprocating my feelings, it would take who knows how long. And Xiao was right, I am only half adepti, which doesn’t happen often, there’s no reliable information on how long we live.”

“So that’s what he’s worried about? Time?” Zhongli sighed, pinching his nose. “He’ll find that hardly matters” he whispered quietly, so you wouldn’t hear.

“I���m going to pay him a visit.” Zhongli decided, standing up from the table.

“What! Right now? Why?” You responded, confused. ‘I hope he’s not doing anything rash’

“Yes right now, and it’s because I have some things to tell him.” He blankly responded as he made his way to the door.

“Isn’t it a little to late though? He’s probably tired, and you could get hurt. You know the hilichurls strike at night.” You quickly suggest, jumping in front of him, trying to stop him from leaving.

“You forget adepti, especially Yaksha such as Xiao. And no need to fret, I can handle a couple(hundred) hilichurls, I’ll be fine.” He responded before lightly pushing you out of the way.

“Can you at least wait until morning so I can accompany you?” You begged, you really didn’t want the Geo Archon interfering with your love life, something told you it was one of the few skills he lacked.

“I apologize, the matter I wish to discuss is not something you should exactly know of just yet. In addiction, do you really want to see the man who tore your heart apart mere hours ago?” Zhongli cocked an eyebrow.

“You’re right, but if seeing him means stopping you from making things worse, then I really have no choice.” You replied.

“You think I’m going to make the situation worse? How so?” He questioned, a light smile adorning his face.

“Well, no offense, you just don’t seem the type to be some sort of, love guru.” You slowly answered, trying not to offend him in the process.

Zhongli genuinely laughed, “I have no intention of convince or force him to love you, I might be a god, but I’m not ruthless, especially to someone whose done so much for me.”

You sighed, there was just no way to stop him. “Fine, I’m going to make myself home here though. And if you’re gone longer than a day I’m going to go looking for you.” Zhongli nodded at your statement before rushing out the door, disappearing into thin air.

You sighed before closing the door, hoping he wouldn’t fuck up any chances you might still have with Xiao.

Xiao’s POV:

Xiao felt a presence behind him, he knew it wasn’t you, but his heart still hoped. He was surprised however to see the Geo Archon standing before him.

He fell to one knee and bowed, it was difficult to break a 2000+ old habit.

“No need to bow, I’m not much of a god as I used to be” Zhongli joked, no shocked when Xiao didn’t laugh and merely stood up.

“Is there a reason for your visit Master Zhongli?” Xiao asked, sure the archon was free to come and go, but never really showed up without a reason.

“Yes actually.” He replied, walking to the edge of the balcony. “Would you like to know a fun fact, one most don’t know?” The adepti simply nodded.

“All Seven(7) Archons have soulmates.” Zhongli bluntly stated, turning to see Xiao’s reaction. Lips turning to a smile as the Yaksha’s face twisted into surprise.

“Really? How does that work? Aren’t the Seven(7) the most powerful beings in the world?” Xiao skeptically asked.

“You’re wrong, Celestia is, it handpicks each of our soulmates, the one true person that will always get you, always be there even through the toughest of times.” Zhongli trailed off, reminiscing about his own soulmate.

“The… place, picks your soulmate? That makes no sense.” Xiao responded, still hesitant to believe him.

“Yes, it is the purest form of nature, you really think it doesn’t have a mind of its own?”(Zhongli)

“I suppose it does make sense, I’m guessing Guizhong is your soulmate?”(Xiao)

“Was. Just like gods, their soulmates too get reincarnated, but as you know Guizhong has not been in the world for thousands of years. I think it’s safe to say she’s never coming back.” Zhongli sighed softly.

“Okay that makes-“

“But I’m not here for a pity party-“

“Go ahead.” They said in unison.

“Go ahead and speak Master.Zhongli.” Xiao insisted.

“As I was saying, I didn’t come here for a pity party. Moving on, you know Cloud Retainer, and Mountain Shaper? Well, long ago, I repaid them for their help. Mountain Shaper with his Amber coated flowers, and Cloud Retainer with unlimited knowledge and space for contraptions.” Zhongli explained.

“Yes, I’m aware, what does this have to do with your visit exactly?” Xiao asked, crossing his arms.

“Well you too did not go unpaid. You were the most loyal, so I decided to give you something a little more special.” The Archon said, a smile dancing on his lips.

“I wouldn’t say I’m the most-“

“Nonsense, you are the only one of the main adepti still following the orders I gave many millennium ago.” Zhongli interrupted.

“…Okay, and this ‘gift’ of sorts, what is it?”(Xiao)

“A soulmate.” Zhongli replied instantaneously.

“What?”(Xiao)

“I gave you a soulmate.” Zhongli repeated.

“You- you didn’t give up Guizhong just to give me a soulmate did you?!” Xiao asked aggressively, there was no way in hell he was letting Zhongli get away with that, geo Archon or no.

“Goodness no. It was her last request. She did not want to live in a endless cycle of love and sadness, she felt as though a one time move was more pure. She asked me to give a soulmate to the one who deserves it the most.” Zhongli explained, with a sad smile.

“And, you think that’s me?”(Xiao)

“Most certainly.”(Zhongli)

“But, why?”(Xiao)

“Because, as someone who has experienced the utter love and peacefulness that comes with your soulmate, there is no one else who deserves that peace at mind other than you. You sacrifice your physical pain to keep this city safe, the lifestyle of a Yaksha is not a happy one. But you know that, you have excepted that, and refused to let anyone get caught up into your ‘mess’ of a lifestyle. But you, Xiao, one of the most loyal, and honestly, most kind and considerate adepti I’ve met, you deserve a happy and peaceful life.” Zhongli ranted, it was clear he had this speech prepared before hand.

“That is just not possible, it won’t matter how peaceful I feel, it will be temporary, it will disperse the next time I fight. You know this.” Xiao didn’t like this idea, the idea of someone being entangled in his mess for eternity was not an idea he was to keen about.

“I’m sure they won’t mind. I believe they find peace knowing you are okay.” Zhongli said with a knowing smile.

Xiao squinted his eyes, “The way you talk, it makes me think you already know who my soulmate is.”

“Hmm maybe, maybe not. I’m not the one who can confirm that.” Zhongli said, turning to leave, before stopping.

“How, how do I figure out who my soulmate is then?” Xiao asked frantically.

“It will hurt like hell to hurt them, even accidentally. The pain is hard to miss.” Zhongli finished his sentence, causing Xiao’s eyes to shoot open, before fading into the night sky.

‘Now, to find something to kill time.’ Zhongli thought to himself.

Readers POV:

You awoke in a bed unfamiliar to you, before registering the fact that you were still at Zhongli’s house.

‘Fuck, is he back yet?’

You quickly got up from the bed, and scanned the whole house, with zero(0) signs of Zhongli. You sighed dreadfully, knowing this would be inevitable.

‘Can’t I just, go back to sleep?’

You got dressed quickly, the possibility that Zhongli had been attacked quickened your pace.

As you ran though the city, you didn’t bother with niceties, barely stopping for most, muttering a ‘sorry super busy right now.’

Finally, at mid-day, you made it to the dreaded inn, you had stopped multiple times at hilichurl camps, checking for any remains of your friend.

You looked up at the Wangshu Inn.

‘This is gonna hurt’

Xiao’s POV:

He felt your presence near him, like a breath of fresh air. Only it was short lasted as he saw your distraught face, remembering he was the reason for your sadness.

Zhongli was right, it hurts, bad. Even at the smallest of things.

Xiao reckoned it wasn’t the best idea to greet you immediately, and waited for you on the highest balcony, where you would likely go first. He shocked himself at his own giddiness.

Both??? Like you can ‘see’ both their thoughts POV:

You walked as slowly as possible, at this point your friends safety could not overpower the insatiable sadness you felt. Climbing these stairs just made all the memories from the day prior more vivid, and it got worse as you ascended higher.

Finally, you’d made it to the last step, not wanting to look up. You weren’t sure if Xiao was there or not, but you asked your question anyways.

“Um Zhongli told me he needed to talk to you yesterday, and I told him if he wasn’t back by the time I woke up, I’d come here myself to get him, so did he make it here last night? That’s all I really need to know then I’ll get out of your hair.” You slightly laughed at the end.

‘Even after I broke their heart into pieces they still worry about being an inconvenience? Hm’ Xiao thought to himself.

“Yes he made it here perfectly safe, I even watched him leave, though I have no clue where he wondered off too.” Xiao answered in the softest tones he could muster.

“Oh okay-“

“I hope you know you’d never be an inconvenience to me.” The adepti added, not worried about cutting you off.

Only his statement made your blood boil. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Cause it sure seemed like I was one yesterday.”

“I- I wasn’t in my right mind, I didn’t know information that I do now.” Xiao flusteredly respond. Not many(aka no one ever) get to see the stone cold adepti with such emotion clearly written on his face, but that was something you paid no mind to.

“Oh yeah like what? What could possibly change your mind over fucking night?” You were borderline furious right now, hot tears rolling freely down your face. You assumed his softness was some sort of game he’s playing. One you wanted no part of.

“Quite a lot actually.” He muttered under his breath, trying not to provoke you further.

“Like what?” You sobbed, all anger dissipating from your voice, leaving behind the sadness and helplessness.

“It’s difficult to explain, and a long story. If you’re willing to listen I’ll-“

“Please do, and this better not be some joke either.” You said apprehensively.

“No. No. I wouldn’t do that to you, ever.” He responded confidently.

“Okay, so get to explaining?” You asked impatiently, jokingly tapping your foot against the wooden boards of the balcony.

“Can I do one thing first?” Xiao asked with an eyebrow raise.

“I guess, but it better be-“

Xiao’s lips fell softly against yours, something you’d been wanting for awhile, however nothing you’d imagine could outshine the real thing. His lips moved against yours hesitantly. Sure he was a 2000+ year old adepti, but he’d also never kissed anyone before. He has observed them before however, the balcony he calls home is quite a romantic hot spot.

He pulls away far to fast, not just his lips, his whole body, your own missing his warmth, it was tempting to pull him back in.

“I’m definitely more convinced this isn’t a trick now.” You said slowly, still catching your breath, Xiao was too taking low breaths.

“So if I do it again you’ll believe me when I say I’d never trick you like that?” He said with a slight eyebrow raise. Pulling your body flush with his.

“Perhaps.” You responded playfully. “But don’t forget, you still have lots of explaining to do!”

“I know, let’s just be like this for a while longer okay?”

[chemicalpink]

☾✧゜BTS Tarot Reading: a peek into their S/O energy ☾✧゜

Pairing: none, this is a tarot/oracle reading.

A/N: I used the divine feminine deck for this reading. Please do remember that every tarot reader’s relationship with their decks are unique thus it may vary the interpretation of the cards. This reading is for entertainment purposes only; the energy channeled may refer to a present or future partner. Whatever outcomes of the reading doesn’t mean ultimate truth and we should really respect the member’s dating life as fans. 

Kim Seokjin ☾✧゜

Mai Bhago: resources; warrior.

So i feel like this is someone that might have to fight for him

Someone that will stop at nothing to get him to open up.

Cause I mean sure, either way, Jin is so far up in the ‘people that will never be your boyfriend’ list with the way that BTS has grown but I feel like this is so much more than that.

I feel like 

It’s not hard to get close to him, but it is hard to get him to open up to the idea of someone loving him for him and not for what he’s accomplished.

idk if that makes sense (?

Lakshmi: abundance

As soon as I laid eyes on this card I got the idea of someone with all that bread.

Not sure if it is inherited wealth/ wealthy family or self made

But definitely someone that has the necessary resources to live comfortably

And also this adds up to them being able to make Jin open up 

Cause they are definitely not using him for money.

Which is a big relief for him.

Rita of Cascia: impossible causes.

Definitely someone that doesn’t run on the same circles as him.

I thought: hmmm maybe a fan (?

Or possibly someone that doesn’t necessarily has the time to date

But most definitely has the intention to love Seokjin with all their strength.

Min Yoongi ☾✧゜

Rita of Cascia: impossible causes

Hello we meet again.

But with a diferent connotation.

This is someone whos strong will puts us all to shame

Like really

Someone that gets their mind on something and will most definitely get it.

Very in tune with Yoongi’s energy.

Lalla: spoken words

I feel like this is someone that has gone through their life trying to heal

And succeeding

“I am the writer of my own story”

Some one that doesn’t fit into the ‘traditional’ way that they are supposed to live.

VERY straightforward.

I also thought of someone spiritual, a manifester of sorts.

Kali: mother of the universe.

LISTEN I’ve said how this one is someone non traditional

Now hear me out

I saw this card and thought well we are looking at someone not gender conforming.

I can even go as far as say that is is someone part of the LGBTQ+ community.

“It’s time to be the truth of who I am”

If you put 2 and 2 together, I can say that this is a healing presence for Yoongi, someone that will make him tune in into what he really likes, who he is.

Jung Hoseok ☾✧゜

Lalita: happiness

This made me so soft

Sunshine got his own sunshine

“Laughter leads me back to the light”

Very positive vibes for this one

One of those people that is impossible not to like

Just like him

Sarada Devi

“The presence of love is the absence of judgement”

This is definitely someone open-minded

In many ways

Someone that has no trouble with Hobi’s way of life

As in

He had to cancel last minute because there’s this thing at the studio? Sure no problem.

They don’t doubt one bit his love and devotion

And understands that they are not walking the same path

But rather walking each of their paths together.

Vajrayogini: liberation

A carefree soul

I feel like this someone is helping Hoseok feel free again

As in

Don’t get him wrong he loves doing what he does but sometimes your career ties you down

But all of those are gone with them.

A fourth card popped up: Mary Magdalene

Along with all those things, this someone is someone very down to Earth

They know where they stand

None of that getting their head get full of it for dating Hoseok

They are themselves and will stay themselves no matter what.

Kim Namjoon ☾✧゜

Marguerite Porete: mystic

Right off the bat, a soulmate connection

I’ll have to say soul family at least

A very divine love

Not like codependent but very very into each other

Shekinah

I feel like most probably this is a female, or someone that identifies as such

Also

Namjoon president? very much so

This is someone important

I see power

In like- a position wise type of way

I’ll go as far as to say a diplomat cause it’s what comes to mind

Or a business executive

Someone well respected within their own little world

Definitely someone Joon looks up to

Rita of Cascia: impossibles

What’s with these boys and this card

So again, I’m sensing fan or just someone that is not a celebrity

Public figure? sure

But like I said, they run just within their own circle

It also came to mind: foreigner

So yeah, i endorse my thought of a diplomat.

Park Jimin ☾✧゜

The Cosmic Egg

Listen I’m not surprised to get such a card from this man

This is indeed a soulmate connection

Also, filled with lots of love

But mostly like- demonstrations of love

I don’t wanna say they’re that couple full of PDA

but it’s what comes to mind

Teresa of Avila

DO NOT QUOTE ME ON THIS OKAY

But I feel like this is an already existing relationship

they keep to themselves

a very NON PUBLIC relationship

I feel like they don’t feel the need to announce it to make it more real

They vibin’

a very soft and chill connection tbh

Machig Labdron

So I feel like these two have known each other for long

This is someone that Jimin has helped through hard times

Chimchim is a healer within so I sense that he has helped them 

“I see light in my own darkness”

Also I feel like they’ve had a troubled past that has turned into love

Jimin was the light that helped them see their true lovable self.

Kim Taehyung ☾✧゜

Mira Bai: true freedom

Okay so this is someone VERY independent

Although they love Tae to death, they know to love themselves first

I can see Tae being a bit intimidated by this way of thinking at first

But learn later that this is his type of person

Yeshe Tsogyal

It came to mind an academic

Whether it is a teacher or an investigator

That academia vibe

A true intellectual

Very curious about life and averything that surrounds them

Just like Tae

Tae most likely learns A LOT from this relationship

And is very fascinated by their brain

Kali

“I release all that doesn’t serve me”

This someone knows what they want

And there is just no way around it

Like the first card said, they love Tae but life plans are life plans

Someone that loves to walk their own path

A very grown-up vibe to them

And listen I don’t wanna fall into daddy/mommy issues

really

But I’m gonna go ahead and say this is some type of inner child healing for Tae

Two very similar POVs but with SO DIFFERENT perspectives

Both curious, but Tae’s comes from a child-like place whereas his s/o views it as something greater, the purpose of the universe type of way.

Jeon Jungkook ☾✧゜

Sehknet

This card was very straightforward with the message

Someone that has been through shit

Jungkook is their well-deserved break at all the trials that the universe has put them through.

“I am pure strength”

I also feel like this is someone that tends to be an avid activist

VERY VERY passionate

and definitely tired of everyone’s bullshit

an old soul, VERY VERY OLD

“I honor my anger by giving voice to it”

Pope Joan

WHEN I TELL U

this is someone spiritual to the BONE

“Soul is limitless”

I got the ‘I will turn the world upside down to find you’ vibe too

Like

They know Jungkook is their person

And honestly? They are thriving to just watch how the universe is trying to apologize to them by putting Jungkook on their path

Someone very wise, more so in the sense of life than academic type

Parvati

THIS IS A PAST LIFE CONNECTION

like- really really had it coming for both of them

“I am a love that doesn’t leave”

They are also very very committed to this connection

They put their 110% spiritual self on this

I sensed the ‘healer meets healer’ type of connection once they meet

Also

Since this is a very old soul I feel like their soul journey is almost over and Jungkook is kind of a legacy for their learnings.

As always I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to request any other general tarot reading! Have a great day! I promise I’m working on all my other requests, this reading just suddenly came to me and i just had to do it.

[memryse]

So I've just read your Grian and Martyn as narrative foils essay (and it was amazing), and I was wondering if you have any other pairs you find really interesting, based on how their characters complement/contrast with/otherwise parallel each other in some way?

For example I personally find there to be a lot to say about Martyn and Scott, and how they seem similar on the surface and are in some ways, but the way they respond to 'destiny' and the demands of the world are completely opposite to one another (especially in LL), and how that explores willpower – Martyn always following it because he doesn't see defying that as an option (apart from one brief attempt after the fall of the Southlands when he questions the voice, but that never amounts to anything, and he's almost immediately manipulated back under its control), even if it hurts him and even if it causes him to betray others (the Southlands, despite how much he cared for them, and the "after every winter there comes a spring" betrayal plot in Third Life that never took root only because he died beforehand... I'm not sure how far we can consider that, as we only know about it from cc!Martyn, but the seeds of it in Third Life were planted nonetheless) versus Scott being the only one able to defy it because of his conviction in himself and loyalty to his allies in Pearl and Cleo.

Even in Third Life, where those parallels were much less explicit, you still had the contrast between Martyn engaging in the violence the world wanted through following Ren, and Scott standing in opposition to that and just wanting to live a peaceful life with Jimmy, which defies the world's rules in its own way, especially with Jimmy being Red – though the Martyn part is a bit of a stretch I'll admit.

And then in Double Life you have things shaping up in a different way, with Scott and Martyn BOTH not pairing with their soulmates – though with Scott it's by choice and with Martyn it's more circumstance, again left to follow the whims of something other than himself. Also, Scott keeps the bond he forced with Cleo after their meeting, whereas Martyn leaves Pearl.

...anyway, that turned into a sort of analysis on my part, sorry! But yeah, I was curious about whether you had any other pairs of players you viewed as foils, or something else similar.

Thank you! And once again, great meta.

oh this is a very interesting question to entertain me on the train :D and yes i totally agree about scott and martyn, they’re a really interesting pair in terms of willpower. scott is a very active player - not in the sense of going out and getting kills, but in doing what he wants, regardless of the universe’s plans for him. whereas in martyn’s case it’s like that’s what he wants, but he’s always getting caught in someone else’s machinations, or whatever tragedy fate has planned for him next.

as for other pairs… well, not really a pair, but i’d say i’m very interested in the ren-bigb-martyn trio, as i’ve been hinting with my ren bigb posting yesterday 😭 they really do complement each other really well, as well as always seeming to end up involved with one another in some capacity. they’re all wrapped in tragedy and loyalty, or the lack thereof in A Certain Case, BigB. they’re the red army. they’re the shadow alliance: lizzie’s most devoted knight, cleo’s best friend turned betrayer, and the one who betrayed the southlands for them. and now they are two soulbounds and the root cause of the messy scott-pearl-cleo-martyn split. i for one can’t wait to see how they end up killing cleo this time!

also. ok not to martynpost AGAIN (i don’t even post about him that much regularly but by god does he make for interesting framing when writing about traffic stuff so i have many many thoughts) but martyn and impulse!!!! make me froth at the mouth!!!!!!!!!! ok so in 3rd life. as i have already said many times. martyn is The loyal guy. that’s his thing. and impulse is… not. he’s the secret girlfriend who nobody knows who he’s actually allied with. trusted by no one. and ultimately, he’s stabbed in the back himself for a clock. last life, they’re allies, and when you measure all of that up against everything grian does in that series, it’s… yeah. martyn is hurt and betrayed by grian killing jimmy and mumbo. he very much was also betraying the southlands himself, yes, but their ghosts haunt his conscience anyway. and ultimately, he wanted nothing more than for them to be together in the afterlife. his entire character motivation is the southlands, be it betraying them or his underlying deep loyalty to them. but impulse? he’s more loyal than any of them at first! he’s helpful, he truly cares about all of them. he shares martyn’s concern about grian having the wither, though, and ends up lying to grian about one of the skulls. but… in the end, he chooses to stay by grian’s side until the end, siding with him despite everything he did to the southlands. i think impulse in LL just wanted to be loved, to be useful, more than anything, regardless of the cost to his morals or the overall state of his alliances. as long as he had someone.

Ok this would have been longer but uh i spent my entire half an hour train ride answering this and now i have to Do Things (go to pride) lollll

[starlightstevie]

fic recs / may 2021

Happy summer! I know I missed last month’s fic recs so hopefully I’ll make up for it with these brilliant fics. Hope you guys enjoy!

warm water by @xbuchananbarnes​ Thor x reader: Thor comes home to find his love.

*passionate & burning by @peachyteabuck Thor x reader: You’re busy with working from home, but Thor has other plans for the day.

but i just wanna hear your voice by @blackberrybucky Thor x reader: Thor comes back after they defeat Thanos and tries to make things right with you.

*all there’s left to do is run by spacelabrathor Dothraki!Thor x reader: Horse warlord Thor finds you a captive in a raid of a desert village and gives you a choice. Freedom by a quick death or taking his hand and going with him, to be his. You choose life, and with it, a husband who is wild and fierce and more than you could have ever imagined.

*summoned by @darklydeliciousdesires​ Old God!Thor x villager!reader: The buffet of offerings, all of which shall placate, appease and satiate every whim and desire of the gods is laid out and ready, you amongst them.

ships in the night by @sugardaddytonystark Pirate King!Thor x Dora Milaje mermaid!reader: When Thor, the infamous Pirate King, lays down anchor in Wakanda, the last thing you expect is for him to ask for aid from your own king. You volunteer your assistance, leaving the home you’ve always known to set sail with King Odinson and his crew.

*cut offs by @milaonthemoon Frank x reader: You get kidnapped and Frank has to get you out.

tired by @castawaybarnes​ Frank x reader: Keeping yourself awake waiting for Frank was getting easier once you got used to the bitterness of black coffee.

*ash painted lips by @sebbytrash Frank x reader: Frank is your lifeline, protecting you like only he can do but you harbour not-so-secret feelings for him that threaten to shake the foundation of this steady, necessary partnership.

scales of justice weigh the consequence by @inspiresimagine​ Frank x reader: the world is black and white until you find your soulmate. you’re a single mom in NYC accustomed to life as-is, but apparently, the universe has other plans. namely? frank castle.

*generosity by @pumpkin-stars Frank x reader: AKA: The five (or more) things Frank usually does when he fucks you, and the one time he does something different.

poltergeists for sidekicks by @bubble-tea-bunny​ Frank x reader: Frank’s lost count of the days he’s come home to you already fast asleep.

*frank + overstimulation by @honeychicana

*frank + rough sex by @sweeterthanthis​

*frank + breath play by sweeterthanthis

*frank + doggy style by @honeydulcewrites​

*frank + gun play by honeydulcewrites

*frank + gun play (2) by honeydulcewrites

*frank + gun play (3) by honeydulcewrites

*frank + overstimulation by honeydulcewrites

*frank coming home to you by honeydulcewrites

*untitled frank smut by @luciilferss​

*playing with frank’s hair by inspiresimagine

frank + praise by inspiresimagine

*frank putting you in a headlock while fucking you by @punani​

*nobody else but me by @allaboardthereadingrailroad​ Shane Walsh x reader: Shane knows exactly what you need.

the comet by @mcubabydotcom​ Steve x reader: You and Steve witness a once-in-a-lifetime celestial event.

*the punishment by ozarkthedog Nomad!Steve x reader: You disobeyed Steve and now you must make it up to him.

*headinthequinjet by xbuchananbarnes Steve x reader: Steve’s having a hard time breathing.

*shotgunning with chris by ozarkthedog

*cockwarming with chris by @buckyssimp​

*a teal crushed velvet ride by @ozarkthedog​ Chris x reader: You love Chris’s Teal Velvet Pants. He notices and decides to indulge you.

*don’t look away by ozarkthedog Chris x reader: Chris fucks you against a mirror.

*keep the heat by ozarkthedog Andy Barber x reader: Andy fucks you in the coat.

*i don’t work jobs (i am a job) by @peachyteabuck Andy x reader: Andy needs to teach you that “staying at home” doesn’t preclude a little thing called “work.”

*worst behaviour by buckyssimp Professor!Bucky x reader: Bucky notices you staring at him during class. 

*lipstick stain by @xbuchananbarnes​ Bucky x reader: Bucky could recognize that laugh anywhere.

bucky takes care of you by @buckyblues

*you better act like this dick belongs to you by buckyblues

*lazy day with bucky by buckyblues

*pegging bucky by buckyblues

*bucky tit fucking you by buckyblues

something new by @mxsamwilson​ Sam Wilson x Bucky Barnes: Fellas is it gay to receive an intimate haircut from your boy? (ft Bucky being hopelessly in love with Sam but too much of an idiot to tell him).

*the magic word by @whateveriwant Bucky x reader: Bucky agrees to try something you’ve always wanted to do with him, but only under the condition that a certain word be employed if need be.

warm by @revengingbarnes​ Bucky x reader: “The fire alarm in our building went off and you rushed out without a coat. Wanna share my blanket?”

patterns by @xbuchananbarnes Bucky x reader: Bucky plays with your hair.

pretending to not feel alone by blackberrybucky Bucky x reader: Bucky, hopeless romantic, meets you, committed cynic. What could go wrong?

*bucky’s first time in 70 years by @luciilferss

*fluorescent adolescent by @ohbuckie​ College!Bucky x reader: Bucky fucks you on his bedroom floor.

*it’s a cruel summer by blackberrybucky Bucky x reader: You and Bucky are friends with benefits, but what happens when you realize you want more?

*sex on legs by @navybrat817​ Bucky x reader: Bucky looks good in anything.

ride with me by @jurassicbarnes Detective!Bucky x Biker!reader: When his best friend forces him to third wheel on a road trip, Bucky doesn’t expect for it to become so eventful, let alone find something, or rather someone worth staying for.

*going live by @ritesofreverie​ Camboy!Bucky x reader: Your new neighbour looks familiar, where had you seen him before?

*stranded by @honeysucklesteve Dad’s best friend!Bucky x reader: When your car breaks down on the side of the road and your dad can’t come rescue you, he sends the next best thing.

if i could fly, i’d be coming right back home to you by blackberrybucky Sam x reader: Exile over, Sam comes home to you.

baby, i still see ya by blackberrybucky Sam x reader: Sam comes home, the future calling to him. He sees you again, and gets a little caught up in the past

*if you ever want to be in love by blackberrybucky Sam x reader: How your relationship with Sam falls apart and comes back together.

taller than me by @kaitsukibakugo Katsuki Bakugo x Izuku Midoriya: Katsuki has found love with someone who years ago he never would have expected. Now Deku is his husband and he’s noticed something else he never thought possible: Deku is taller than him.

*would you like to stay forever? by kaitsukibakugo Pro Hero!Kirishima Eijiro x reader: Sparring with Pro Hero Kirishima Eijiro in his private gym at his home doesn't seem like a bad idea if you don't count the fact that you really, really like him.

how your bnha fave acts when they realize they’re in love by @inthorantine

*bnha love island headcannons by @doinmybesthere​

*first time bj headcannons by @shoutogepi

*the best pussy eater of mha by @dearestdynamight​

passing the night stars by @hoe-doroki Hitoshi Shinsou x reader: The party was neon and you needed darkness.

*let’s talk about deku’s hands by @rat-suki​

*waking up deku by spacelabrathor

*deku comes home after a late shift by doinmybesthere

*slow stroke king izuku by @sems-diarie​​

*champagne problems by @some-kindofgnome​ Katsuki Bakugou x reader: You were slipping between Bakugou’s fingers faster than ever now. Instead of letting it happen he clung to you even tighter. Instead of letting you go, instead of accepting that he’d driven this relationship into the fucking ground, he’d promised himself that he could still save it.

*presented by @tteokdoroki​ Dragon King!Katsuki x reader: On the twenty-first birthday of Katsuki Bakugou, an offering is made in his honour as he becomes chief of the dragons. Clans usually offer up sacrifices of berries or nuts, salts and fresh catches. But for those of Dargon’s blood, their offering is a mate... And that mate is you.

*domina by rat-suki Katsuki x reader: He’s just so hot when you get under his skin. You can’t possibly stop now.

*baby, i’m a haunted house by @ketslketslketsl​ Yakuza!Katsuki x reader: It’s been a long six months since you last saw him.

i’m a liability, get you wild, make you leave (i’m a little much for everyone) by @willowser Katsuki x reader: There’s no reason for Katsuki to be here. It’s all he can think, bitter, as he stares at the paint peeling from the door, exposing the wood grain underneath its thin coat. Old and distant, this house; too far from the city to make the trek worth it, for your job to make sense; too ancient to be lived in by the number 12 hero in Japan. If he closes his eyes, he can hear Lake Biwa from his position on your porch and the soft sway of the water almost calms down the storm that’s been building in him since he boarded the train, since he nearly snapped his phone in half.

*we are the foxes (and we run) by @spacelabrathor shoyo hinata x reader: After everything, the end of the world and the chaos and destruction that reigned after society fell, it takes a lot to surprise you. And yet, when you come to the edge of the pit, a gasp wrenches from you like someone gripped it in their fist and yanked. Laid out on the bed of leaves at the bottom of the pit is...something. Someone. Or, Hinata falls into reader’s pit trap after the end of the world. This is the story of how she pulls him out, drags him to her bunker, and they grow together. 

*dark priest!Obiwan Kenobi by @mandosmimi​

you’re the former babysitter of zemo’s son by @helahades​

*mando doesn’t realize how big his dick is by @cptnbvcks​​

[bbhyeoliskooks]

Can I request an angst where Yeonjun breaks up with you but then wants you back a few weeks later?

«❝ 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐖𝐚𝐲 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 ❞»

Yeonjun was the one to break up with you, so why does he want you back now?

➸ check part two out here !

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Pairing: Yeonjun x Reader (female)

Genre: 5 cups of angst and maybe 2 cups of fluff ?

Warnings: harassment, alcohol consumption, cussing, yeonjun is a big jerk in this :ccc, cliffhanger ending, not edited so if i make a mistake... oopsies

Song: I’ll Never Love This Way Again

(I wasn’t sure if I could do a happy ending, but you just have to find that outtt 😌😌~~ i’m so sorry that it came so late too ! i just didn’t expect there’d be tons of assignments this week??? anyway, if you want me to make a part two, of course i can ! requests are always open 🥺💓)

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Everything was fine.

When Choi Yeonjun made the first move under your favorite spot in the whole world during the time both of you were stargazing, you felt his smile brush up against your lips as you kissed him to your heart’s content. Finally, the boy of your dreams was yours. You hadn’t thought this would be coming for a long time, but you were so happy it turned out this way instead of a permanent, platonic friendship- one that was simply excruciating whenever you saw him and his adorable, fluffy cheeks. Warm infatuation flowed through your veins making you kiss him deeper, allowing him to be in your arm’s embrace while your heart swelled in joy. This was love. 

You knew deep in your heart that everything was fine and was going to be fine, for that matter. 

Said boy gently cupped your cheek, and you melted into his touch under the glistening, white moonlight. He was so warm, you never wanted to lose that even if you gave up the entire universe to be with him. 

He was happy.

Butterflies fluttered in your stomach while you fondly gazed at his pure, bright smile, not being able to look away from his brown eyes which captivated you every single moment of the day. In a crowd of people, you were sure he’d be the one person you’d look at, and not to mention the only one. He was for you, and you were for him. He loved you, and you loved him. What difference was it going to make if you made it official? 

And so you were too. 

“I love you, Y/N,” he murmured so softly he wondered if you actually heard it.

You had. 

“I love you too, Yeonjun.”

Everything was fine. 

Up until now.

Call you cheesy or anything else, but all you wanted to do for the day was drop some food off at your boyfriend’s house before going out to a few of your classes. Your boyfriend of eight months, actually. You doubted that anybody else numbered their months as an anniversary, but who was counting? It had been a while since you seen each other due to studies and exams, so you assumed that this would be the perfect time to visit him for a couple minutes while he’s having troubles on a few assignments. Easily, a couple minutes could turn into hours and you’d find yourself missing class unintentionally.

Although at the same time, spending time with your boyfriend was the best! And he’s made you smile so much these past months that you were really starting to understand why you loved him so much. Those sparkling eyes which held all the starts from the Milky Way Galaxy in them, those sweet lips which never failed to calm you down whenever your patience wore thin, and that sweet heart that protected you from all evil in the world. Point is, he was the perfect boyfriend and there wasn’t even once a time where he would hurt you! After all, you knew that he loved you so much as well. He promised he would always be right beside you, and the Choi Yeonjun never ever goes back on his promises.

Entering the house with the spare key he gave you for emergencies, you hesitated for a few seconds when you heard his voice ripple throughout the silent kitchen. Was this right? It wasn’t an emergency, but what if Yeonjun was really hungry and needed you? You could picture his pouty lips whine whenever you asked him if he wanted something to eat, and the imaginary sight made you grin with delight. Still, you were unsure if you could just budge in without his permission. Like the loving boy he is, he assured you every time that it was okay, managing to convince you in the near future which was technically now that he adored in whenever you planned a surprise visit for him.

You shut the door softly, enough for it not to create any sounds that could signal you arrived. Knowing how much Yeonjun loved when you came over by the way he kept encouraging you to come over whenever you had free time, you made sure not to make any sound in order to be the sunshine in his day. It could too much for other people, but hey! Seeing him happy because of you made the pride in your chest grow, like you were on top of the world. Just a simple visit would do, right?

“Yeah Bin, I just think they’re really clingy, don’t you agree?”

His velvety voice caused you to stand still in your spot, paralyzed as your mind was reeling with a variety of thoughts. Your excitement instantly burned down in flames, your curiosity growing as you slowly inched around the familiar kitchen. Luckily you weren’t noticed, albeit that was good since you didn’t have the desire to be seen anyway. Who was he talking about? Could it be someone you know?

“Nowadays, I don’t see them as much, and I’m so happy I don’t. Like, who would want to come home to that thing? If we lived together, I sure as hell know that I wouldn’t be able to stand a minute with them, if not much more than a second.”

The pounding in your chest grew faster with every single second that passed, for if he caught you, you knew that he would be extremely disappointed. As a couple, it was important to trust each other, and especially when one of them needed their privacy. But the wonder of who it was was far stronger, overpowering the fear of being caught. Yeonjun would definitely hate you for this if he ever found out, but that didn’t mean he had to know. You felt like you were doing something by listening to him, an impending feeling in your gut which only signaled trouble.

“I think I’m getting tired of them. All they do is wear my clothes when they know they have their own and cry to me about their problems every single night. They’re always like this and that, making you do things that you don’t want to do. It’s really annoying, you don’t understand,” he added as he ran his fingers through his hair. 

Your heart sunk to the ground, shattering into a million yet heavy pieces once you registered who they were talking about. 

It was you.

Yeonjun chuckled at your newfound misery, not acknowledging you were there as he traced his finger over the marble counter. “And don’t you try to defend them, Soobin. I know you guys are good friends, but if you dated them then you would really know how stupid they are. To be honest, their problems turn out that way just because they’re such an idiot. Who knew I would be stuck with a dimwit like them?!” 

He burst into laughter, but you heard nothing from the other line. Internally, you thanked Soobin for not finding humor out of the situation, but there was a bitter taste in your mouth as you heard him tell more and more about what he hated about you.

Was it that easy to say?

Too tired to hear the rest, you gently shut the door, leaving as soon as he made another joke about your affection. The bag of food clanked against the porch loudly, causing the shutter of the windows to flicker inside the house but you didn’t care anymore if he came out to see you like this. He said you were pathetic, and that’s what you are. If you can’t even do one thing, then why even try due to the fact that you aren’t good enough for him? Your eyes were betraying your will now, welling up with tears of disappointment in yourself. You should’ve known, you should’ve known! Look what happens when you depend on people too much, this is all your fault!

You went home like a fool with your stunned voice not permitting you to say anything about what you heard from him. Maybe if you just endured it a bit more, he would come to realize that you were only doing what you did since you loved him with all your heart. This couldn’t be your boyfriend, perhaps he was stressed with all of the exams they’re giving. This wasn’t him, it just couldn’t! How could he say all of that? 

He was for you, and you were for him. He loved you, and you loved him. That was that. 

Certainly everything was going to be okay... right?

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Just like Yeonjun wanted, you did everything in your power to make sure that he was comfortable with his own space. You placed the stolen clothes you loved to wear whenever you missed him during the time you knew he wasn’t home because of dragged out classes. You didn’t text or call him as much, knowing that he would probably get annoyed if you bothered him too many times to count on both hands. You didn’t plan surprise visits anymore when you had the time, choosing to coop yourself in your bedroom as you waited for him to say something- to say anything. 

Maybe he would actually come talk to you, right? It’s been almost three weeks since you’ve seen each other. Maybe he would notice the missing piece in his life which was you, right? He always told you he adored whenever you called him your soulmate, as cheesy as it is. Maybe he would at least explain why he’s being like this, right? He strove to do the right things in your relationship even if it cost him his pride. It was because he loved you. 

That’s what you thought. 

He didn’t, and you were left shattered in pieces. Disappointment clouded your heart as you thought well of him, the hope in your chest gradually becoming less and less each day for the time the two of you did not speak. Instantaneously, you felt terrible about yourself, understanding why he thought of you to be so clingy that it was almost suffocating.

All the while, that ended up with the two of you getting even more further apart.

You hated it, but what hurt the most was that you weren’t sure if he cared about you anymore. 

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

“Hey babe, can we talk today? I need to tell you something, so meet me up at Moonlight.”

When Yeonjun asked you to meet up with him at your favorite spot, the one you both deemed to be your place, you were absolutely thrilled to see him. It was nearing four weeks since you haven’t seen each other which was quite surprising to you; you never knew how well you could hold up without him in the first place. Moonlight was the code name for the place you both ended up confessing to each other since it was incredibly vivid in your hazy memory. You couldn’t help but remember Yeonjun’s bright smile directed towards you when you mentioned the name. 

Jittery, you made sure to put on the perfume he gifted you on your first month anniversary, spraying it just enough so that it wouldn’t overwhelm him. It was no wonder that you wanted to look your best for him, for perhaps he would finally tell you that he loved you again! You’ve been waiting for that day since forever, patience becoming frayed from the anticipation that consumed you every single day.

Your nerves were practically a scrambling mess as you walked yourself there, hoping that everything with Yeonjun was doing well. Gosh, you missed his fluffy cheeks so much and his cuddles you swore you were going to go crazy. His scent was no longer on your pillows and you had to admit that you really missed it. But really, this was a good sign! You knew that everything was going to be fine, just fine. He was going to be right by your side, right by your side where he would stay but why was this gut feeling in your fluttering stomach trying to convince you differently? 

When you arrived there, heart thumping as you watched his head peek up instead of staring at the ground, you suddenly felt your eyes gather up with tears. It was pathetic to cry in front of him, but you missed him so much that just seeing him made your whole world feel complete. As always, he looked perfect when his eyes found yours, looking you up and down and staring to see if you’ve changed one bit.

You waved at him shyly, words becoming stuck in your throat as you took in his beauty that never failed to amaze you. A smile struck your lips, stepping towards him with bravery even if you were scared you were doing something wrong. He wasn’t smiling like usual, so maybe something happened in his personal life? You wanted to be there for him through times like these. However, all you had to do now was hope for the best once he spoke up.

“Y/N, I...”

His voice faltered when he stared at your gentle expression, unable to find the courage in what he was going to say.

How was he going to break it to you?

“Yeonjun,” you stated simply, raising an eyebrow at why he was so vulnerable all of a sudden. His breath became heavy when you mentioned his name but he remained strong, standing as tall as he could to finally say-

“Y/N, I’m breaking up with you.”

... What?

He’s breaking up with you?

You couldn’t comprehend what he was saying, all the words going through one ear and out the other.

There was no way. There was no way he was breaking up with you. You were for him and you were for him. He loved you, and you loved him. There’s no reason why he would be leaving you right now, he just couldn’t do that!

He sighed, shaking his head at your dumbfound expression. “I just... I just I don’t think we’re right for each other. We don’t have any interest talking to each other anymore, and you know how easy it is to give up, right? That’s what we should do, and I know you’ll definitely find someone else.”

You still weren’t able to say anything, shock taking over you as your eyebrows furrowed and tensed up. Since when was he like this? He said he never gives up on anything, so why is he giving up on you now?

“You’re a great person and all, but I have to break up with you, alright?” His velvet voice which you swore loved you just as much made every single hope and dream die in your soul, the words he said breaking your poor heart even further. 

You couldn’t possibly understand- you just couldn’t!

He was for you and you were for him. He loved you, and you loved him. It’d always been like that! You kept repeating over and over again in your head, trying to convince yourself that this was a bad dream that you needed to wake up from. 

He didn’t say anything else, the sudden silence deafening your ears as you did your best to conjure up something to say. 

“B-but why...?”

But why? All the sympathy from before drained from his heart once he heard those words and he couldn’t contain himself, chuckling at your misconception. Why couldn’t you get it through your thick head that he was being the right one here? It was the hard truth, you needed to realize that like he did. 

“You can’t be serious, can you? It isn’t that hard to understand, I’m just saying that we should break up once and for all,” the boy muttered under his breath.

Was it that easy to say? Was it that easy to break someone you loved? Was it that easy to hurt someone you thought the world of? 

The anger built up from weeks before rushed in you and you charged up to him, punching him in the chest with all you had to give. It was too weak to feel anything, honestly. He couldn’t help but smirk at your fragility.

“Yeonjun, how could you do this?!” You heaved, voice becoming stronger without realizing it. You threw another punch, strength failing you over and over again. “I gave everything to you!” You hit him again. “I did everything in my power just so that you’d be happy!” You hit him again. “I went against my own heart in trying not to contact you as you’d like, but it all came down to this?” He watched tears one by one trickle down your cheeks as your voice thinned with hopelessness, but he just wasn’t able to feel anything. 

“You just weren’t good enough.”

It was like that one phrase set you off, and you clung to him like a fool, taking his freezing hands into yours while the atmosphere became thick with tension. Perhaps if you could’ve done something from the past the way he liked it, he wouldn’t leave you. Perhaps if you just worked on yourself and your appearance a bit more, he would actually find something to love. Perhaps if you just tried harder, everything would be fine. But why? Why had all your efforts gone to waste just like this? 

“What can I do then? What can I do to make you love me again? Tell me, please! I want to fix everything, I have to fix what we have!” You gripped his shirt as hard as you could, your knuckles turning white from how hard you were doing so. His scent which gave you euphoria every time you sensed he was near had now turned sour, making your stomach churn with dead, exhausted butterflies you weren’t sure how to clean up. 

There was no remorse in Yeonjun’s heart as he stared down at you, combing his fingers through his hair in frustration. This was much harder than what he had assumed, but you’d eventually move on, right? He honestly couldn’t say that he cared, and it was a bit funny to see how desperate you were. 

“I don’t love you anymore, Y/N, get over it,” he said before pushing you away towards the tree you used to have dates under. 

You then stumbled on your feet, almost falling over due to dizziness which numbed your senses. The thorny-like bark of the tree slit a few cuts on your arm, making you groan with tears in your eyes. You searched frantically to where he could be, eyes easily falling upon his body, where every single second you witnessed became excruciating both physically and mentally. Your chest twisted with unbearable agony while you watched him leave, walking out of your life as if it was the easiest thing to do. The splinters dug against the flesh of your skin, but you couldn’t care less. He was leaving. He was leaving, and you were just allowing it to happen. 

“Yeonjun, please don’t do this to me!”

You hoped he would hear you.

“I know it’s all my fault, but please don’t leave me!”

You hoped he would just listen. 

“I want you to stay, Yeonjun! Please!”

You hoped he would know how much you loved him so much to the point where you would die without him.

“Yeonjun, I still love you!”

But it didn’t work. 

“Please...” You reached out to him in desperation that he would come back, but the once familiar figure slowly but surely left your life, taking your torn heart without giving you one, last glance.

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

To say you were a wreck was an understatement.

If an absolute pathetic mess who didn’t take care of their hygiene as they laid in bed all day, going through several tubs of ice cream was enough to say that you were a wreck, then that was it. But clearly, that in itself was not good enough just like what he said. You were terrible, clearly in shambles after what he had said to you. Faults upon faults kept piling upon the bitter taste of your tongue no matter how much you tried to distract yourself by doing the things you loved. In this situation, it seemed that hobbies didn’t work at all. The things you did had no purpose without him. It would only come out as second best, and you could even say this was the worst you’ve ever done them. All of it came down because of the breakup. How could you live without the boy who made you so happy every single day?!

So in turn, it had to be your fault for doing this. It had to be your fault because you tried so hard and yet it just wasn’t good enough. You caught yourself thinking that if you just changed yourself a little, maybe then everything could be different, and the two of you could be happy in love like always. That only weighed on your heart because you knew you were such a fool for him, hopelessly devoted for something that would never come. 

Plus, it was bad enough that no one cared about you so much to even look after your well-being even if you felt terrible about getting help. Showing sympathy was the worst option ever since it only reminded you of how your ex would shower you with love and affection whenever something abominable happened to your heart. Looks like that wouldn’t happen now. 

Soobin tried calling you a lot after he heard that Yeonjun broke up with you, but you didn’t give him any chance to talk to you. If he did, then you would burst into tears at his voice saying something along the lines of the words, ‘are you okay?’ Obviously, you wouldn’t be able to handle it if he saw you like this- like a sobbing mess that no one else could ever love. 

A day passed of watching shows you used to love, and that didn’t work either. No spark of light passed your eyes while you gazed upon the screen you and Yeonjun used to share, laughing about your favorite characters who you would give the world to but were honestly too stupid to realize that they caused the problem in the first place. You weren’t able to help the tears that gathered up like puddles in your eyes when you saw Yeonjun’s favorite character, the one he adored all the time whenever you two watched tv together. 

Every single place you looked at, it would only remind you of him. The couch where you two would cuddle all the time, and the one where Yeonjun slept on if you forced him out. Sometimes when you both were having a bad day, some things would lead up to another with shouting and angry eyebrows due to the cause of each other. Although that would be solved in no time and more times than necessary, you would find yourself sleeping on top of his chest so he’d wake up to you apologizing to him. With lots of soft kisses too! He said he loved you, and that was that. You loved him too.

Really, you couldn’t go a day without him so why was it so different now? What happened to the loving boyfriend Yeonjun used to be?

Just a day after he broke up with you, you found your spare key you gave to him right in front of your house, waiting expectantly for you to pick it up as if it was nothing special. Just the sight of it was enough to bring you tears and you threw it over the streets as if it was nothing. It didn’t get very much far though, but the only thing your mind screamed about was Choi Yeonjun this, Choi Yeonjun that, Choi Yeonjun every-single-where. If it was something from him, you wanted nothing to do with it! Except maybe his sweaters and pillows that still had the scent of him, yeah. 

It would be strange if someone found it right on the black pavement your driveway, huh? And definitely used it to unlock your house in the wee hours of the night. Wait! And not even bothering to knock on the door before coming inside with the key that they found too. That would be totally strange...

It seemed the idea got to Soobin when he showed up to your house without you knowing, being smart enough to use the key to open the door. You awoke to his gentle voice luring you out of bed at like two in the morning, apparently just checking up to see if you were okay. Once hearing that, you sobbed onto his white sweatshirt, pretty much feeling bad that you wrecked both his mood to the max and his poor sweater that was victim to both your spit and tears. 

A bleak outcome became of this even if he assured you so many times that it was okay. His shoulder and shirt in the upcoming days were your soggy tissues for the moments where you cried, but that gave you much ranting to let out anyway. Soobin couldn’t believe his very own best friend had the audacity to do this, but it wasn’t his business to do anything but help. He didn’t mention anything to Yeonjun who laughed about your ashamed expression when he listed the reasons to your shortcomings, though it wasn’t like he cared enough about him to see for the time being. He didn’t tell you either, for he didn’t know how you’d react. What he knew mostly was that you were busy cursing Yeonjun and his perfect, white smile that still very much caused flutters to your heart.

Little did you know that Soobin’s everlasting, sweet kindness would get you somewhere farther than what you could’ve ever expected; even if it meant eating tubs of ice cream just to make yourself feel better.

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Time goes too fast for your brain to comprehend. 

It’s been... almost one month since that very day.

That very day where Yeonjun broke up with you, marking it a month anniversary of where the love of your life crushed your entire being. That very day where you promised yourself you wouldn’t ever love again. That very day where you realized what the true meaning of what love really is.

So far, you haven’t heard about Yeonjun. Soobin didn’t tell you anything- which you were thankful for- otherwise you would’ve had a mental breakdown about his fluffy cheekies or the bright smile you so longed to have back. Likewise, he said he didn’t mention anything about you to Yeonjun, but you knew the boy was doing well without you. It’s been a long, rough month and you were obviously itching to move on, but that was what broke you the most. 

You did your best to avoid him. You ripped every single photo you had of him in your albums although it caused you so much pain, you burned every single sweater you still had left in your closet for safekeeping, you threw all of the anniversary gifts he gave you- even the promise ring so that you wouldn’t go insane. Even you were surprised at how much you could do by yourself in trying to move on. And little by little, you could tell it was working. Soobin was proud. 

In classes that you were with him, you made sure to sit at the end of the room so that he wouldn’t dare to notice you. Sometimes you’d find yourself staring at him whenever the teacher droned on and on, but luckily you got back into the lesson by engaging yourself by drawing in a few of your old notes to study from. The long hallways were crowded with tons of people, so there’s no way he’d see you too! You made sure of that. At lunch, you instead went to restaurants to waste some time until the next period started again. You made sure everything was perfect. You did everything in your power not to see him. 

Passing period was just for a while, and you met up with Soobin who seemed to be a mess with his black hair all over his eyes. You bit back laughter at his ignorance. 

“Thank you so much for helping me Soobin,” grinning, you passing him some bread from your lunch bag that you knew he would like. He accepted it generously, gnawing down on it as he shot you one of those eye smiles he knew you were weak for. 

"Of course! You’re my friend, why wouldn’t I help you? Also this bread is much more yummy than Yeonjun’s cook-” speaking of the devil, you caught sight of the boy with blue hair (something you admired as you stared at him) who was walking in your direction. His head was turned to the side as he laughed with his friend, but that laughter was enough to shatter your heart all over again

Grabbing Soobin, you pulled him out to the other hall where luckily Yeonjun wouldn’t be able to see you two if he didn’t go there. You hoped he wouldn’t. He would see how you weren’t over him yet! One of you, you couldn’t discriminate between them, sighed. Your heart was thumping way too loudly in your chest in which you were sure anybody could hear it and you teared up, laying a shaking hand over your chest. That was a close one. That was so close, he could’ve seen you like this- like such a mess who wasn’t good enough. 

“It’s because you saw Yeonjun, right?” Soobin’s hands gripped your arms as you suddenly felt overwhelmed with dizziness. What happened to your posture and your stature? You shook horribly, nodding your head at his words. Again, there was a bitter taste in your mouth as you avoided Soobin’s eyes. He must’ve been disappointed in you, but you just couldn’t do it. 

“Yeah. I saw him again, and he could’ve seen me,” you spoke softly only he could hear it, clear tears of agony becoming one puddle onto the hard ground. 

You weren’t sure if you could handle seeing him. You couldn’t allow yourself to after how hard you’ve been working. 

Soobin just pursed his lips, pulling you in for another embrace of his. He doesn’t mind giving them to you whenever you needed it, and seeing you like this hurt him just as much as it did when you saw Yeonjun. Nonetheless, you were surprised at his manner despite the sadness that clouded your vision. You were expecting him to reprimand you since you were doing so well and this could be the next big step, but he didn’t. You knew that was only because he was only worried for you anyway.

What you didn’t know was that when Yeonjun turned the halls to see the two of you holding each other in the dark while you did your best not to make any sounds, he glared at Soobin who found him in the corner of his eye. In response, he furrowed his eyebrows back to him, laying his chin comfortably on top of the head as if it was what he always did. They both stood there for a few moments as your chest heaved up and down with heart-wrenching sounds of hiccups that echoed through the hallway, but not one of them dared to move moved. Yeonjun then shook his head, turning away as his loud, mocking steps were practically silent to you who sobbed on the one you knew you depended too much on. Soobin noticed that his annoyed expression was brimming with green, monstrous jealousy, obviously at the sight. But he didn’t want to tell you.  

You didn’t stop yourself from crying until the soothing voice above reminded you that it was finally time for your next class. Pulling yourself together was the hardest thing to do in that moment as your stomach coiled with a churning spin. You wanted to throw up as regret bubbled in your fake smile. How would you ever move on if Soobin didn’t feel the need to help you?

Future you would’ve definitely gave her everything just to tell you that Soobin’s help failed. 

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Was it too early to say that you totally regretted coming here in the first place with Soobin?

All these people dancing upon each other and making out in whatever they could find weren’t your thing. Every place your eyes landed upon was something you definitely needed the eye bleach for, it was too disgusting for you to even glance at once in a while. It could be the drinks that are making people like this, but where was their modesty? You wanted to choke from how much they shoved it in your face that they were happy. That’s also due to the fact that they made you feel extremely single as well, but not the point! 

Instead you were standing near the “punch” table, staring down at your drink since it was so much better to look at instead of people eating their faces out. Some of the boys tried to get you notice them, but you paid no mind to them. No amount of catcalls about what you chose to wore or the seductive snickers they sent your way could pull you out from your trance of the hypnotizing cup. None of them were as cute as your standards anyway... which was still Yeonjun. 

A cup wouldn’t hurt tonight. Just one cup would be fine, wouldn’t it? You winced at the taste, nose scrunching up with disgust when you downed it again. It was hasty to put some more in the cup while you poured the most you’d ever done before, taking no time to repeat the same action. You knew that in a couple of minutes- hours or so, you’d probably end up drunk and alone on the dance floor, but who cares. No but seriously, who cares? Not even yourself, so maybe once you could actually find a distraction which, or for that matter, who makes you feel better. 

One cup.

Two cups. 

Some things led to another and what surrounded you became blurry, hazy, and too raggedy to make sense of.

You weren’t expecting to hear a familiar voice from out the corner send shivers down your back, prodding at your heart as you almost spit back your drink into the same cup. 

It was in no doubt, him.

A lump appeared in your throat, making you choke on your own spit. Soobin lied, that rat lied to you! Was it on purpose or that he really didn’t know? You sure had to give it back to him by socking him in the stomach once you made eye contact with him. Otherwise they were having a date here, but you knew Yeonjun well enough that he wouldn’t do this from your past experiences. 

However, that wasn’t the point! You got back to your surroundings, taking sneaky glances at who you’d been dreading to see this whole month. 

“Please, no! It can’t be him!” You whisper-shouted to no one, holding your breath as the same scent with the same voice inched closer to you in slow steps. It passed through your nose, making your stomach churn with anxiety as you heard his *feet draw nearer and nearer and nearer to you. You could feel the breath in your lungs depleting as your eyes widened with fear, too paralyzed in your spot to move away. Was he going to hurt you even more now? 

Move, please! Just move your legs and leave!

“Y/N, baby...? Please tell me that’s you,” Yeonjun gently called, getting closer with slow stomps and an aching heart in mind. He took in your bored facial features, the thumping in his ears getting louder and louder as seconds passed. It had been a while since he clearly took a look at you; in response, his mind clearly blowing over with a thousand questions per minute. This had to be an illusion, tricking him that it wasn’t the you he was searching for this entire time. Maybe he was drunk, but it just couldn’t be something that wasn’t there! Who else could it be other than the one person he’d been pining for, for a month?

It was you, the only person he’d ever loved. 

The word baby pricked your ear, and you turned to the side to see Yeonjun with tears in his eyes. They were sparkling from the lights all over the house where you could clearly see them, and you cringed, looking away from him. What a sight you didn’t ever want to see for the rest of your life. It only made things worse, obviously! This urge of wanting to baby him while asking him had to be suppressed or else you wouldn’t know what would happen. You were doing so well. You couldn’t give up now. 

“Y/N? Why are you here? I thought you’d be home studying like you always do,” the boy muttered, his eyes focused on your every action as if you’d disappear any second. He was right, you completely wanted to disappear from his sight. Still, you didn’t want to look back at him in fear that your streak would end in a demise. 

“Nothing, and it’s none of your business anyway. Please, leave me alone.”

He only shook his head at this- or what you assumed from the peripheral vision of your eyes- and jerked a thumb at the red solo cup you were holding. You decided to gaze at it intently like you had been doing this whole time, bringing it up to your lips when he shouted something right in your ear. It was quite different than what he was murmuring earlier, and you almost dropped the cup from your already shaking hands. 

“Y/N, stop drinking! I told you it wasn’t good for you, don’t you remember?”

Yeah, but that was back then. 

You shakily sighed, clenching your eyes shut. If you wouldn’t allow yourself to look at him, then let’s not do any of this at all. A headache would soon become of this, if his nagging voice kept annoying you any longer. 

“It’s an acquired taste, you idiot. Just leave me alo-”

"Please, listen to me,” he cut in, easily begging in favor of you. Too curious to hear what his request was, you didn’t say anything.

“I don’t know how to start this off but... I know I’ll never love this way again, just like I do to you. Y/N, can’t you see?! I’m dying without you.” He moved closer to you and you looked down at the floor, too shaken up to say anything. His breath was near enough that you could feel it right against your forehead while he looked directly at you with piercing eyes. You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything, the words of help stuck in your throat as your poor heart hammered in your poor, wrenching chest. 

He then held out his arm towards you, one so desperate you felt it through his heart that he wanted to let you hold on. You looked away from that too, not wanting the urge of finally seeing him to enrapture you like always. 

“There’s no one else who can ever replace you. It’s me for you and you for me like we’ve always said... can’t you see it too?” His words were too affectionate to get away from now. What was this warm feeling you received upon hearing that? Gulping nervously, the last part of his words resonating in your mind before he drew one, last breath. 

“I need you,” he delicately whispered.

There must’ve been glue beneath you, for you were trapped in that claustrophobic spot in the corner. Of all the words he could say, he just had to hit you right in the chest where everything ached... Suddenly, it had become so silent you could hear a pin drop. Your ears had to be tricking you. There was no way Yeonjun could ever say that to you, after all the things he did to you a month ago. He had to remember that, right?! You can’t go back to him no matter what he says! He doesn’t love you. He never did. 

“I’m leaving. Have the cup if you want it,” you shoved it into his hands and right off the bat, he dropped it like it was nothing. A deep, permeating frown was on his face and he grabbed your hands with his warm ones, holding it as if it was the only thing he ever wanted to do. His thumb stroked the top of yours, clinging on tightly in desperation as if begging you to spare one more glance at him before this love was somewhat forbidden, somewhat over.

“Y/N, I know I messed up pretty bad, but please. Please, be safe out there. I won’t hold you back anymore. Tell me to take you home, and I’ll do it. I need you, just please,” He held onto your hand, his fingers tightly wound with yours and your eyes widened. Why did he have to sound so genuine? 

“Have a good night, Yeonjun,” you glanced at him for the first and last time to see a glistening tear run down his cheek. He was the same. Yeonjun was the same. All the way to his forehead and lips, he was just Yeonjun. His messy, blue hair was still just as charming as your eyes ran through it. His lips were like you left them, and you could do anything just to show him how much you adored them again. His pure eyes were still like the last time you saw them, innocent and sweet like it held no true matter of what the world was like out there. 

It broke you just as much as the last time you saw him. He and you were finally meeting each others’ eyes, but not in a way you ever expected. You wanted to be free from him by the time you saw him again, so that he’d realize you were doing well without him even if the case was far from that.

And you wanted to say that it was what he deserved but why in the hell was your heart saying so much differently?! 

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

By the time you got out of where Yeonjun currently was, you could feel yourself losing breath even if you hadn’t walked very far. It was true that you walked as best as you could because the legs which carried you across the dance floor simply felt like dancing jelly; all the while you kept cursing yourself internally for even making a dry conversation with him. 

The air felt tense now. You felt as if you could no longer relax inside that same house for any longer. Soobin wasn’t anywhere to be found, but you didn’t truly search for him in the first place because this was one night where you wanted to enjoy yourself for a little while. 

Maybe some drinking would help it like it had done earlier. You wouldn’t have to worry anymore about Yeonjun if you just changed your mindset due to the drinks! Wobbling, you gripped onto one of the cups that distinctly wasn’t yours and took a few swigs out of it, hoping it would help ease your nerves. 

Three cups. His smiling face appeared in the cup, and you winced at the bitter taste. Why were you torturing yourself with this bitterness? 

Four cups. Well, looks like you were okay, you guessed. 

Some things led to another and here you were. At the dance floor where you were swaying to the music the dj put on whether it was romantic or made to have a blast.

Throwing your hands up to the sky like all the other people were doing, you realized you were having so much fun- for a couple of minutes or even a couple of hours, you weren’t sure- until two, sly hands gripped at your waist. You instantly cowered away with widened eyes, backing away from instinct when they forcibly pulled you back in. 

“Hey, sweet cakes,” they slurred quietly, their breath repulsed with beer mixing in with the tacky scent of cologne they chose. You immediately noted that it was a male’s voice, scrunching your nose up at the rudeness he plainly owned. The audacity he had to come up to you like this instead of introducing himself with a tender voice. And a pet name straight off too?! Give you a break. 

It made you think about how Yeonjun always treated you nicely, naturally acting like a gentleman whose kindness made your heart swell with love.

“Hey, asshole, could you leave me alone?” Despite the fear rushing through your veins, you made sure to stand firm like everything was okay. Sooner or later, he had to get the hint. And if not... you glanced at your heels, then catching a look at his crotch. But we could say that was only Plan B if nothing else worked out. 

He chuckled at what you assumed to be your insolence, a cocky grin crossing his attractive and confident face that only made you want to throw up. 

“Aw, don’t be like that! I saw you dancing right across the room and I knew I had to get a piece of that,” he muttered, getting closer to you by each step. You couldn’t help but groan at his terrible advances towards you. 

“Well, I don’t care. Leave me alone, please.”

The man sighed, rolling his eyes at your words. You hoped that with that action it meant he was finally leaving you alone, giving you the peace you so hopelessly needed after the whiplash that took place with your ex. But he only got close to you, an uneasy grimace taking place instead of the pretentious, arrogant grin from before. Your stomach bubbled with anxiety this time, not feeling much too comfortable in the moment to dance again.

“Help! Someone, please!” No matter how much you kicked at the bottom area of his body (and missing them completely since your aim terribly sucked when you became drunk), he wouldn’t budge to your surprise. You tried squirming away due to the resistance of being a damsel in distress like every saving person needed to be, but the man would clearly not move with all your efforts! 

He puckered lips swiftly while you hurriedly tried to move away with the best of your abilities. You were sure as hell you couldn’t get out of there even if you used all the strength that was left in your body. With the wall pressed up against your back and the looming arms that trapped you in, there was no way you could leave without pleasing him. He was getting way too close for comfort and you closed your eyes shut, no longer feeling the courage to shout at anyone through the blasting music. 

“Now, how about you give me a kiss from those pretty-”

“she said leave her alone, you asshole!” 

In one, sweeping moment which had you off your feet, you felt someone’s back brush against your front while you squealed with a deadening fright. At the very last bit of being harassed, you never would’ve expected to be saved by the one and only who you thought was never going to come back. Hastily you opened your eyes, only to see Yeonjun whose chest was heaving up and down from how fast he ran just to protect you.

“Leave her alone or else I’ll be forced to do something much worse- something more horrendous than you could ever imagine.”

Seeing how tall Yeonjun was in comparison to him, he muttered something under his breath before moving along to another direction. And just like that, he was gone. Gone to another place where you hoped never to see him again to bother either of you.

You internally thanked the heavens, eyes tearing up from how grateful you were to not have been physically attacked. 

Yeonjun speedily turned back to you, his face blooming into a worrisome expression. Lips forming into a pout, he cradled your cheek, checking everything from your face to your arms which were shaking terribly in order to be sure you were unscathed. 

Even if you hated him so much at the moment, even if you thought he was a dreadful person for hurting you, even if what he was doing could be because it was the right thing to do and not because he loved you, this was the Yeonjun who you fell in love with in the first place. He was right in front of you again and no matter how much you wanted to back away from him, you couldn’t deny that he was your precious knight in shining armor. 

“Yeonjun, thank you- I’m scare...” Your brain wasn’t able to form a comprehensive sentence, words jumbled together to create a nonsensical grumble you were sure he couldn’t understand. He just cooed at you softly, taking you into his warm arms which felt just as cozy as his sweet heart. Your face subconsciously buried upon his chest, nuzzling into it as he gently patted the top of your head. 

“Hey, hey, hey, I’m right here. There’s no need to worry. I’m right here, and I’ll always be right here.” His hug this time was made for you, and you happily sighed with a newfound relief. Tighter, you clung onto him, hoping he didn’t mind. A part of you knew that he didn’t care because he kept pressing those soft kisses he knew you adored onto the crown of your head. 

Your brain was yelling at you that this was wrong, he could be toying with your heart again, but everything felt so right. Your heart wasn’t corresponding to your mind, telling you something the sober you wouldn’t be able to understand. 

You were safe at last. 

The both of you stayed like that for a few minutes with you sniffling into his embrace before he lightly rubbed your shoulder. 

“Come on, baby, let’s go home to make you calm down,” he took your hand into his tenderly, treating it with the utmost respect. After all, it was what you deserved after all of that trauma. 

All the way he made sure you were alright strolling beside him, protecting you like the world depended on it. His scent was too addictive and you followed him, holding his hand tightly while a soft smile became of his face. 

Before you knew it, his steps led you to his house. 

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

“Yeonjun, stop! You know I’m-” you erupted with an intermittent series of laughter, giggling over and over again whenever his fingers accidentally traced against your stomach. He was busy carrying you to wherever he was taking you, whining about how you didn’t deserve less from sleeping on somewhere comfortable. 

“You’re not sleeping on the couch,” he giggled along with you, nuzzling his nose against yours. Anybody else who saw this could see that you both were clearly an affectionate mess, touching one another whenever they pleased. 

Sooner than later after all that messing around, he laid you down on top of the bed as gently as he could, setting you down as if you were a fragile vase. His fingers lingered at your side before he cleared his throat, instantly pulling away at how quiet the atmosphere had gotten. 

It was hard to see his face now; the dimness of the room and not to mention the side effects of being drunk disrupting your normal vision, but you could still see how intent he was on gazing at you. You grew shy at how long the duration of time he chose to stare at you with keen eyes, looking away compared to your strong, resistance persona from before. 

Yeonjun found this little bit to be endearing, sketching out your whole, entire face in his head. To your adorable, button nose, to your cheeks which he oh so wanted to pinch, and to your lips that he was too afraid to kiss without permission, everything was simply perfect- a masterpiece that cannot be described in words. If it was up to Yeonjun, he would never look away because he was afraid he’d lose you again.

But this wasn’t right.

If he was there, it would only hurt you like you said earlier. His heart was screaming at him to let you know that he loved you more than anything else he’d ever laid eyes upon, but no, that wouldn’t be right either. He wasn’t sure how you’d react once he told you that. You’d leave him and rightfully so. 

Even if he was drunk as hell, he knew you wouldn’t be too comfortable sleeping with him once you sobered up in the morning. Besides, it was his fault- he doesn’t get to treat you like the way he did before since he really has no right to. 

Sighing, he turned to go until something grabbed onto his hand. His eyebrows rose up, but he didn’t allow himself to look back or else he’d betray all his morals.

Like he expected, you were the one holding him in place, your fingers sliding against his as they squeezed tightly. 

“Yeonjun... stay? Just for tonight?”

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

A soft, genuine smile spread throughout his face as he turned over on his side, immediately expecting to touch someone that kept him company from last night. It had been a while since things were arranged like this, a month if he remembered correctly in his hazy mind. This was something he’d been desiring for such a long time already... he was going to make the most of it even if it was just a little bit.

Wait a minute... his fingers danced throughout the covers, eyebrows turning into a frustrated furrow and he finally realized what was happening. 

But- but you were there with him last night! You weren’t an illusion! Your voice resonated through his head along the lines of asking him to stay, but you just weren’t there. 

Panic swept throughout Yeonjun’s body as his eyes searched the whole entire room for any sign of her, looking at the door which was wide upon unlike last night.

“I messed up,” he groaned as he raked his fingers through his messy hair, heart dropping to his stomach as if it had weighed 1,000 pounds. His shaking, cold hand plummeted upon a pillow that was still warm and coated with her warm scent he always adored coming home to whenever he had a rough day. 

But you were no longer there. You were gone. 

“I lost her.”

---

Posted: 2/15/21- 6:30pm

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