#they’re my happiness and my deepest pain tbh

[dreamwritesimagines]

‘His one and only love’ i’m going to go cry in a corner now thanks. their love story is so beautiful yet so tragic and it’s breaking my heaaaaaart. or could it be bc it ended in tragedy which is why we can appreciate the beauty of it more?? idk i’m babbling but i just, Cassie & Percy’s relationship has been looming over us since chapter 1 and it’s like, the more we know about it the more beautiful they seemed to be together and how in love they truly were before tragedy struck and it’s just, so heartbreaking bc they’re ending is so so definite bc Cassie is no longer in the picture anymore and just. ugh…..Pain™️

‘Probably Lavinia.’yeah bc your daughter who has never met your sister or interacted with her until this wedding……sure, she definitely got her restlessness from her aunt sksksks. i feel like Percy was restless when he was younger, but just…had to “grow up” bc of his shitty parents or was “disciplined” to behave and “act like a future duke” so he thinks Cherie got it from someone else bc he doesn’t remember being that restless bc it’s like, he was forcing himself not to be or had to be “corrected” (i hate that word so much but it happens a lot with kids) when he would fidget or bounce around. so when he grew up, he lost that energetic side. could be selective memory bc of trauma or strict parents? i mean i’m not an expert so who knows. i mean it works with Cassie too but at least she was energetic to people she cared about. Percy seems so closed off and calm towards everyone even his children, and i feel like his upbringing has something to do with that. especially in a society where men being vulnerable is so looked down upon. what more to a future duke?

okay, i just––PERCY REMINISCING ABOUT BABY ELIAS AND HOW CHERIE IS THE SAME ABOUT SEEKING APPROVAL FROM THEIR PARENTS WHEN THEY’VE DONE SOMETHING GOOD AND JUST WANT THAT STICKER OR THE GOLD STAR. stop that was so…it just solidified how both of them are their parents’ children in anyway shape or form. but it hurts knowing how Percy never got to see baby Cherie do that or Cassie see baby Elias do that WHOEVER STARTED THAT RUMOR NEEDS TO GET TOSSED IN THE THAMES AND GET EATEN BY THE FISH THERE. anyways i’m just so sad that we never got to see them be a happy and complete family and it so painful to think that we neverwill bc everything is already too late and i’m just……Pain 2.0™️

hmm, i wonder what prompted Cherie not to tell the duke about Anthony’s proposal. could it be she senses how much he dislikes him and just doesn’t want to cause trouble? or she doesn’t want him to know howit happened a.k.a. in The Maze™️ Under The Rain™️ At Night™️ Unchaperoned™️ a.k.a. the perfect recipe to warrant a duel for both Percy AND Elias?? but she can leave the detail out tho. soooooo could it be a sense of trying to protect Anthony in a way bc she’s seeing how he’s changing for the better?? or it can be an unconscious thing that she doesn’t want Percy to think awful of him bc she cares about Anthony and she loves him?? all these questions i swear sksksks

“I mean I still know her better,” i still don’t quite agree with this tbh bc hmm, my point the other time still stands but another argument is that, you know how we act different towards our parents compared to our friends and how different we too act with our partners and vice versa to all? i mean it’s different for everyone of course and it depends how close you are with your parents but i feel like that’s a factor here. in Cassie’s case, she would act different to her lover/husband compared to how she would to her daughter in a way. with Percy, she can be more open, share her deepest and darkest thoughts/moments and how she perceives the world without filter or whatnot, problems, grievances, childhood trauma, etc. whereas with Cherie, she would hold back on those things to protect her in a way bc her daughter doesn’t need to know about those things. especially when she wanted Cherie to live a happy blissful life and make that possible as much as she could, and well, Cherie being so in love with love proves that. so Cassie wouldn’t complain to Cherie about things or dump her problems/trauma on her compared to with Percy. and i feel like you can truly know a person with how they deal with those things or what they’re thoughts are with deeper or darker conversations. like i said before, they both knew Cassie in different moments in time, not to mention, different version too, but that doesn’t mean one knows her better than the other.

my man has been hurting for 20+ years and he will continue to for the rest of his days. i feel like if he gets close to Cherie it will compensate some of that pain but still, it’s never quite the same. bc he might have gotten back his daughter again, but he still lost the love of his life……ugh Pain 3.0™️ 

“I was not wrong in telling you not to make my decisions for me, and I’m still behind it,” this i wholeheartedly agree with. she should be the one making decision for herself all throughout. bc it is her life and she should live it how she should.

omg…..the simple fact that neither him nor Cassie ever apologised whenever an argument would arise and they just move on without talking it out??? yeah….it was was bound to blow up at some point. they probably thought if they just…..forgot about it, it would just disappear. but the thing with that is, it never does. it just sits in the back of their heads and when another argument will arise, it will resurface thus building up that anger so with every argument it would just become bigger bc it just keeps piling and piling and sigh. i feel like when that rumor mill hit, the jar was close to full already and for something that big to happen, it’s not surprising for that jar to actually break. like it didn’t spill over, it genuinely exploded. i guess that’s another difference between Cassie & Percy and Anthony & Cherie and why the latter is turning out better bc, well, at least the younger couple are open to apologizing and being better and righting wrongs. they still need to work on the Communication Department™️ but they’re getting there.

hi yes hello, idk if i’m just extra emotional today but that scene of them under thee stars…my heart is ACHING™️ BREAKING ™️ HURTING™️ i just……and she was pregnant with baby Elias as well :((((( “And about the argument earlier—” // “Let’s not.” I JUST NOOOO. TALK. COMMUNICATION™️ !!! sigh. they’re being so cute and sweet tho and i can’t deal with this bc it’s in Italics™️ which solidifies that it’s the past and cannot happen again in the futureeeee AH PAIN 4.0™️ !!!!!

“They will be themselves without anyone sabotaging it, without anyone forcing them to grow an armor just to keep their hearts safe. They will be just…free.”and this is why Elias and Cherie share similarities with their parents, but never quite the same. just like how Anthony pointed out last chapter and how Percy is realising this now. but pls, them slightly joking around now makes my heart melt. i feel like they would get along so so so well and would have the sweetest bond and ugh. slow and steady. HELP PERCY FORGETTING HIS SISTER IS COMING TO LONDON WITH THEM SKSKSKSK it’s like he’s actively trying to ignore his big sister bc he knows she will just intentionally (affectionately) annoy him. he’s such a little brother omg.

“No,” she said. “No one at all.” she said, you know, like liar sksksks. “Especially not Lord Bridgerton.” …….Sure, Jan 2.0™️ let’s see how that goes now that we’re going back to London. but omg, i feel like the first day back in London will be absolute chaos as Percy so begrudgingly pointed out. i am hoping Anthony has learned his lesson of Self Control™️ quite well now and can like….be calm (i doubt it) and chill (i highly doubt it) when he’s around Cherie. bc i’m honestly so worried bc Cece won’t be there for a week to supervised sksksksk (tbh i was hoping for their honeymoon to be longer bc it’s what Celias deserves after dealing with this Shit Show™️ for five weeks and they need that break to rejuvenate and recharge before going back to deal with the Shit Show™️ again sksksks) but lord, idk if this Obsessed Harlot™️ can control himself for that long especially with all the suitors oh my goooooood the Jealousy, Jealousy™️ aaaah STAY STRONG ANTHONY FT. LAST REMAINING BRAINCELL FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY. KEEP THAT KNEE TIGHT AND DON’T BEND IT YET PUHLEASE

oh god this turned out longer than i expected. this was such a lovely yet heartbreaking extra scene but i loved it omg. i reallly enjoyed getting to see Percival’s perspective on things. he’s so complex and it just makes me more curios as to what happened between him and Cassie aah can’t wait for more!! amazing as always and i hope you’re having a lovely day!!

– TM Anon™️

Omg darliiiing hi! ❤❤

Yessss exactly! ❤ Their love story ended in tragedy and I think they burned very bright when they were together, they had so much passion and that was kind of their downfall💔

I think up until her death, Percy still thought someday somehow they would be together 💔

Oooh that’s a wonderful idea! 😱 Percy’s father was terrible, so he would probably not let him fidget or run around 💔

i mean it works with Cassie too but at least she was energetic to people she cared about. Percy seems so closed off and calm towards everyone even his children, and i feel like his upbringing has something to do with that. Absolutely! ❤ Both Cassie and Percy had different upbringings but their parents were horrible, and Percy was probably forced to always hide his feelings around people ❤

Elias and Cherie are so similar on some things, and seeking approval is one of them! ❤ I think Cassie saw it up to a point with Elias but Percy didn’t see it with Cherie up until now 💔

Anthony’s business proposal 😂          

could it be a sense of trying to protect Anthony in a way bc she’s seeing how he’s changing for the better?? or it can be an unconscious thing that she doesn’t want Percy to think awful of him bc she cares about Anthony and she loves him??

I think it’s both! ❤ She doesn’t do it intentionally, but she still wants Percy to like Anthony or at least approve of him, and she can see how Anthony is changing for the better, and she is still very much in love with him❤

with Percy, she can be more open, share her deepest and darkest thoughts/moments and how she perceives the world without filter or whatnot, problems, grievances, childhood trauma, etc. whereas with Cherie, she would hold back on those things to protect her in a way bc her daughter doesn’t need to know about those things. especially when she wanted Cherie to live a happy blissful life and make that possible as much as she could, and well, Cherie being so in love with love proves that. DEFINITELY! 😱😍

Cassie made sure Cherie would never feel like her opinions didn’t matter, she made sure she never knew pain back in Paris❤ Cherie doesn’t know about Cassie’s time in London while Percy has no idea about Cassie’s time in Paris 💔

I don’t think Percy can ever be completely happy without Cassie to be honest 💔

i guess that’s another difference between Cassie & Percy and Anthony & Cherie and why the latter is turning out better bc, well, at least the younger couple are open to apologizing and being better and righting wrongs. they still need to work on the Communication Department™ but they’re getting there.

THIS! THIS!

I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS ABOUT THIS YES! 😱😍❤

So Cassie&Percy and Anthony&Cherie have a lot of parallels but just like you said, the latter is turning out better because of this! ❤  Both Cassie and Percy refused to apologize or talk about what was wrong, or what hurt them, because they were both raised to hide their hurt but Anthony and Cherie? Cherie is always very, very verbal about what hurts her, she actually says that to Anthony, and she never tried to hide what she felt, good or bad ❤ And Anthony is apologizing, he is trying to talk about what’s wrong, and from the beginning he was giving her explanations for what happened back at the opera, he is trying to build the bridges instead of acting like everything is alright ❤ Especially now, he’s following her lead while making sure things between them are getting better, that they can have an open communication for when she’s ready to talk about what happened with the proposal and everything else ❤

Percy and Cassie had terrible communication skills for sure 💔 That was one of the biggest problems they had 💔

this is why Elias and Cherie share similarities with their parents, but never quite the same. just like how Anthony pointed out last chapter and how Percy is realising this now.

Yesssss! Second generation has a lot of parallels to the first generation but they’re also learning how to fix their mistakes ❤

i am hoping Anthony has learned his lesson of Self Control™ quite well now and can like....be calm (i doubt it) and chill (i highly doubt it) when he's around Cherie This is hilarious omg 😂

Obsessed Harlot™ I AM SCREAMING-

Darling, I can’t thank you enough for this, you’re absolutely amazing! ❤❤ You’ve made my day, ILYSM! ❤❤❤

[fanmoose12]

So... Was it eruri or levihan in the end??? I'm hella confused tbh

What.... Happened? We get 126, 132 them switch on eruri on 136/7 then.... What in the dingly dang was 139?

Most of all I'm frustrated bc of what the fuck yams did to Hange, they were a genuinely incredibly interesting character with fuckton of potential and character development and he threw it out of the window for what... Sometimes, I believe yams doesn't realise what a great character Hange was despite being the one that created them. And literally no point in them dying when Falco could fly. Me thinks lowkey bc of the implications that if they lived it would mean them and levi got an ending together and it would piss people off.

But here's the thing, Levi shouldn't have to live the rest of his life alone. No one in their right mind can deny the relationship he had with Erwin (though I do doubt it was reciprocated in the same way from Erwin's end), but it doesn't have to be the only relationship in his life? The fact that he fullfilled that promise and remembers him fondly still is touching and it's important that he got closure after all this time.

But taking away the last person in his life who was the closest with now leaves him with no new purpose? He killed Zeke and saved the world, now what?

This is why imo, Hange should have lived. They would have given him a new purpose: live happy and in peace. It could be that together they heal, travel the world and relax for once. Have new, mundane dreams such as get a house and just domestic bliss which would be a whole new thing for them, to once live in normalcy.

And they both NEEDED that. Levi no matter how stoic he seemed we know he's been broken on the inside his whole life. Consistently getting beat up by life and having everyone he cared about dying on him. Especially after Erwin's death, he needed desperately a break and time to pick up the pieces. And who better to do that with than Hange who's stood by him since ever and is the only one who can understand his pain. They had one of the deepest bonds in the series and it was a shame yams didn't put more focus on it towards the end where it was needed the most.

They should have found solace in one another and why is that such a bad thing? Best friends falling in love and together work towards healing? Moving on doesn't mean forgetting the past or diminishing relationships and past love.

And both of them needed that move on. It was like their lives and dreams were on hold all this time. Fighting titans, fighting Marley, being commander, being the strongest soldier, the rumbling, always on the run, always fighting.

But after it was all done why would it be bad if a new chapter opened up? Where they discover their true dreams and desires. Where they selfishly strive towards their own happiness for once with no other obligations attached.

I know yams doesn't write a happy story and wants to be all darl and edgy, but their endings were almost insulting and forced.

I'm terribly sorry for the long post.... We fans got to stay together though right? Otherwise we'll lose it

anon, you said all of it so well.......

like it's my personal opinion that hange was killed off simply because isayama didn't want for levi to stay with someone and offend other shippers since levi is so popular.....

i can't honestly think of another reason for hange to die and in a such stupid and easily avoidable way. i was sorta comforted after 138? you know, i thought that "hey..... hange died but it was a heroic end....." but then everyone returned to their human forms without any consequences whatsoever and i was so upset. hange is the only member of alliance that died and, idk, it makes me kinda bitter lol. they struggled for so long and they really deserved that happy ending. another thing that bogged me is hange calling armin their successor? it wasn't brought up even once after that, what was the purpose of it? just a nice gesture?

and another thing that bothers me considering the ending is that i don't quite understand the message isayama wanted to give us? the ending is kinda hopeful but then it really isn't? they're still at war, and now, without their only advantage in a form of titans, paradise can easily lose, and the fight for the characters isn't obviously over. also everyone thanking eren but no one mentioning hange bothers me too.....

levihan truly is one of the best written relationship in the series and it's a damn shame it was destroyed because yams didn't care for hange or whatever the reason for their death was

[melohax]

Ok so I just realized that I can send long ask so I will just copy paste my last meta here, it will kinda be a mumble jumbo wall of text so I hope you don’t mind

I have never personally perceived what shadow Basil said about us as he was deeming is as cruel or evil toward them tbh. Shadow Basil seems to be there to ground Sunny back to reality more by recalling him of the past and calling out his escapism to me more. Him saying “but after everything, you left me” is less him calling out on Sunny being evil toward him but more on him calling out how Sunny just mentally completely shut off from reality, him dropped out of school irl and become shut in paralleling to him building an entire imaginary world on “black space” and suppressing the black space as the light bulb locking other half of Basil who knows away, leaving Basil both irl and in dream to be left alone dealing with his own guilt.

You talking about Basil irl and black space Basil occasionally has the same overlapping dialogues of “will you forgive me?”/“do you hate me?” also raised up possibility of Basil irl has also said these to Sunny in the past thus his manifestation saying the same thing to him. Basil in dream world acting completely carefree and sweet is more of him just want to live in his idealistic, good old day of the past tbh (evidence in how 4 years have passed yet the citizen in the dream world never age, dream HERO still 15 years old haha why are you so small) and Omori acting “cold” or “strange” isn’t entirely exclusive to Basil either since we saw the same instance with Mari who was trying to guide Sunny to the truth at the beginning of Last Resort arc, as he is the manifestation guardian who “guards” Sunny’s psych so to speak and the irl instance where Sunny hurt Basil is when them both are in panic and fist fight each other to dead so I think it’s an understandable reaction tbh SFGHVJBK.

There is a lot more but the biggest reason why a large part of me feeling like Sunny doesn’t exactly “hate” or blame Basil for anything he did is also because the way the narration portray him coping with thing, he completely and utterly rejects it, denies it from being real, being “I do not see it” (the closet door lead to the toy book with his broken violin completely disappeared irl in his pov despite other character still comment about it, when Basil was tying the noose to uh do the thing Sunny chose to pretend that he did not see what was happening, when he witnesses Basil’s death in one of the bad end if you try to interact with the door lead to Basil’s room again it will completely disappear with Sunny notes that “there is nothing there”) than blaming it on someone or something else and when he finally forced to face the truth he just blames himself the most, how he just took away everyone happiness irrc

ALSO SORRY AGAIN FOR A LONG WALL OF TEXT AFHJGJJ

Yeah, I’ve already talked in my other posts about Sunny’s coping through extreme avoidance and how it intertwines with him burying the truth in his subconscious and so forth. It doesn’t cancel out how his subconscious does see the truth to the point that Blackspace keeps leaking into Dream world.

Daddy Longlegs mentions this, how Sunny and Omori do all they can to pretend they don’t see the truth, repressing as much as possible BUT Blackspace still ends up leaking into the Dream world regardless.

As much as Sunny’s mind keeps working to get rid of all that hurts him, blackspace keeps seeping into his dreams and yet he still seeks Dream Basil out when he disappears from his mind. This is counterproductive in that it interferes with his own coping mechanisms of “I do not see it” and Omori’s attempts at defending his mind. It tells us that Sunny’s thoughts and feelings are conflicted, he both wants to suppress the truth while his mind simultaneously has him trying to save the person that represents said truth to him.

Sunny and Omori want to keep the good parts of Basil in his dream, the parts that remind him of the good ol days of innocent childhood. Meanwhile, he tries locking away the parts of Basil’s existence that hurt him (Basil giving him the Mari idea, Basil hanging Mari, the monsters Basil sees etc etc) but he always fails.

Daddy Longlegs, the Blackspace void people and the tree in the deepest well tells us Sunny’s mind has never been able to separate his ideal Basil from the parts of Basil that force him to acknowledge what happened.

I kinda also disagree with your other arguments too tbh.

Like I said before, monsters with Basil’s dialogue keep calling Sunny a liar (like the one on the train) and Sunny’s subconscious he tries to represskeeps focusing on how he hurts Dream Basil: Basil telling him he doesn’t feel safe, the invisible shadows in the main room of Blackspace calling Omori and Sunny evil, commenting on Sunny’s mistreatment of Basil and their fears that he’ll do something to real world Basil if he’s not “uncorrupted”.

Sunny’s mind specifically clings to Basil’s “do you hate me?” + his apologies for a reason. Real Basil very likely said these things to Sunny this mind keeps going back to it for a reason. Mari commenting on Omori being cold isn’t the same at all cus Basil commented on it in a context where he was about to be killed and his next words are about how he doesn’t feel safe with Sunny.

When I talk of dream Basil’s almost angelic persona, I don’t mean just him being the way he was in the “good old childhood days” all carefree and sweet. I’m talking about things like how even when he’s being killed, Sunny portrays Basil in his mind as still trying to be kind, understanding and passive even to the things actively hurting him (like how Dream Basil keeps trying to be nice to the spiders even while they’re eating him alive).

Real life Basil isn’t only made of infinite beatific patience like Dream Basil is. He cries, gets angry and really upset at times, tells Sunny it’s not fair that Sunny left him behind. Basil calls Sunny out on lying about promising to always be there for each other and begs in desperation for Sunny not to leave him, once again coming back to him asking “Do you hate me?”.

Dream Basil is also shown as very helpless and someone who would never resort to violence. This is shown not to be true in the real world.

Basil will resort to violence if he feels it’s absolutely necessary to protect the person he loves, like how he physically attacks Sunny at the end, possibly gouging Sunny’s eye out in the process. Basil does this believing he’s genuinely going to save Sunny from the “Something” behind him so it shows he’s not just this eternally passive, soft, helpless being Sunny’s mind portrays him as.

Real Basil is willing to do anything it takes (including resorting to physical violence) if its for the sake of the person he loves most. It’s a contrast to how Sunny in his dreams goes as far as putting his ideal of Basil on this pedestal of “purity” at times. This goes back to how one the invisible strangers walking in Blackspace void tells Omori it hopes real Basil is uncorrupted or else it fears what Sunny will do to him.

Then there’s shadow Basil. He doesn’t just “ground” Sunny, he also reminds Sunny of the consequences his actions have on others. This shows that Sunny’s subconscious (Blackspace) acknowledges the truth even though real Sunny keeps trying to pretend it’s not there and Omori keeps trying to bury it.

These are all parts of Basil that Sunny doesn’t want to see and that he keeps trying to lock away deep in Blackspace so that only his perfect version of Basil remains in his mind. All of the trouble Sunny goes through to shut his eyes and yet when Omori finds Basil in the alternate rooms in Blackspace, it’s as if Sunny’s mind keeps trying to guilt trip itself over how he’s been treating Basil by showing Basil constantly suffering and dying in horrible ways.

So imo the points you made are easily attributed not only to extreme avoidance but also to entangled feelings of hatred, love, fear and pain. Sunny isn’t a completely innocent character when it comes to his mind and certain actions (being able to stab real world Aubrey and stuff) but that’s ok. It doesn’t mean he’s simply a villain, it just means he’s complex and with complicated emotions the same as most human beings.

Of course at the end Sunny blames himself the most, I talked about this in my first post too. It’s by then that he’s accepted his main role in the tragedy with Mari (the fact it was an accident, Basils good intentions, why he isolated himself, etc) and he’s moving towards facing the most painful parts of it. That’s part of the whole point.

None of this means Sunny generally just cruel or callous, of course. Again, I’ve already said before that this doesn’t make Sunny objectively “evil” or anything of the sort. His own mind is the one calling him evil due to all his guilt and so on.

Also P.S. Please be mindful and don’t spam my inbox with so many messages tho 😣 I got this entire message sent thrice in my inbox and then you also sent it as a submission and then you also sent a few other asks as well all in the span of one day. They were all kinda the same subject over and over too.

If it’s tumblr being fucky and sending that many messages repeatedly, I understand and it’s ok but then I’d rather you come off anon instead cus boy it spams.

[seoafin]

tbh,, i havent read the raws of the interview yet, only the translated ver from fan-translator and b4 i start, i think that this will be just me talking in circle and in no particular order AND a real mess (my brain does weird things after exams) but uhh here we go

gojou collects talented people, and by doing so he finds the people he can most probably relate to, except that he can't, not really, because something in the universe shifted when he was born. and it makes me think of how he's always known it, that he is special, and he's proven it, time and time again— he wants to take in talented ppl and he does, but there rly isn't much he can do for them. for they are talented, more talented than the world can understand,,

but they aren't gojou satoru

gojou took in megumi, bc he knew megumi was strong, and would grow up to be someone even stronger, but gojou can't facilitate or encourage his growth, bc for all they're similar, they are so fundamentally different. ALSO,, while geto was in his life, gojou rly judged everything according to his understanding of geto’s moral compass. gojou wears a human suit and geto is how he learnt to wear it well 🏃

the dragonfly analogy regarding to geto’s response to gojo, who was shown wearing a dragonfly patterned yukata in HI arc,, i’m trying to not think abt the fact that dragonfly symbolized victory in jpn....pain. i quoted from a web here for more explanation : In Japan the dragonfly is known as the "victory insect", or kachimushi, because of its hunting prowess and also because it is known to never retreat. Dragonflies are agile and fast fliers and can even hover, but never fly backwards

and bringing this up again, matricide and patricide are 2 of the 5 worst act to commit in buddhism, and it was said that if u commit one of those act u’re going to spend a real long time in the deepest pit of hell before continuing the samsaric cycle (higher chances to be born as an animal after that probs)— this might be geto’s divine retribution. held no power over his own body and could be considered that he’s the same as those “monkeys” 💀

ALSO the fact that sukuna's interest is "eating" rly drives home his hedonistic philosophy of seeking pleasure for himself. and he’s a cannibal...makes me think if he’ll just chomp on ppl with the mouth on his stomach

randomly, to date i think he hasn't really called himself a human, shaman, or a curse, and has held himself apart from all 3, and we've also the intro of the cursed wombs so i wonder if he’s trying to become, or is, a different entity altogether

so onmyoji got mentioned in the interview and what they practice is called onmyodo and abe no seimei and kano no yasunori were the notable practitioners,, and the kamo in jjk is the same as irl who served the imperial court back then

maybe i was right when i said that the relation between the govt. and jujutsu elders are similar to how the shogunate and imperial court work (ie, the former holds the actual power) but... lets see later,,

and i cant believe that i actually nailed it on the analogy of jujutsu practices by religion,,, so mahayana buddhism, shintoism, and taoism is present in jjk along with their respective jujutsu practices...but between the 3, it shld (?) be taoism > shintoism > mahayana buddhism (which could took a path to pure land buddhism)

it’s weird that the number of curses are supposedly higher in jpn comparable to other countries when taoism was brought from china....tengen sus

so the zenin family tree is sth like :

brothers: [toji's dad] ; naobito ; ougi

so toji, naoya, and maki & mai are cousins of the same generation

[toji's dad] → jinichi (probs) ; toji → megumi

naobito → other brothers, naoya

ougi → maki, mai

but yea i’d call anyone who’s within/close or below my age range as cousins and others above 30 as uncles/ aunts LMFAO,, i dont rly memorize my own family tree 😭😭 especially since most call the other by honorifics instead of names : aunt, uncles etc or attaching said honorifics at the end of a name for an older sibling figure/ older cousins [but like ppl in my country also call the other who are older with sibling honorific even if we’re strangers,,, rly similar to korea’s hyung/oppa—eonnie(unnie)/noona but some uses more genderless honorific] (1)

tw // topic of incest, mentions of abuse

if anyone got the wrong idea when reading this : i am not glorifying/ romanticising incest(uous themes),, i’m looking at this with absolutely no lenses of bias even tho im rly against it

初恋 = literally : first love, or puppy love

恋 = romantic love/ deep longing

i literally don't know how else to put this...🧍and with language barrier...using a western interpretation of the eng word "love" to explain a jpnese term is not quite that simple, unfortunately

that thread omg,, i rly do understand how exactly someone could associated kindness with love bc of my upbringing, it was when i was slightly older that i was just...oh so its not like that orz,,, so the most plausible explanation would be that

but the problem is that,, akutami never specify when exactly she had a crush on them,, and when megumi answered todo’s question she had a “♡” reaction 😶,, uhmmm there’s rly no way to look past this if its this way or be in denial

i’ve seen some of "why wouldn't mai react that way after hearing megumi say he'd like someone who's compassionate when she's surrounded by men like naoya",, well I MEAN,,, that, but also mai probs admires that megumi grew up so well out of the clan, regardless of the fact that he had the foundation (10 shadows) to do so. imo she seems happy for him the way she can't be for maki, bc maki ultimately had to leave her behind

hate to say it but yea,, the 3 clans most likely still practice inbreeding in order to preserve their power and presumably their wealth too 😀

i had an idle thought abt it at first but i filed it deep in the back of my mind asap,, bc i ont wanna jump to conclusion abt this out of all things too early. it’s probably not even in jjk, but all those elite clans in other ani/mangas that produce powerful heirs and whatnot also do the same,,, but this way of (my personal) thinking was influenced when i first got into tsukihime (type-moon),,, i read abt the nanaya family background and found out that they practice that in order to keep their bloodline “pure” (to keep it short : they have an optical power),, and i had this kind of assumption ever since so there’s that

i’m,, convinced the zenins' inbreeding made it more difficult for them to get powerful shamans bc they got 2 jujutsu technique-less children with heavenly restrictions in the same generation: toji & maki

even more convinced that maki might be a bit stronger than toji bc toji could see curses without aid while maki can't so the pay-off must be higher,,, SJJASN IDK ,,, plus naoya sort of implies his older brothers are nothing compared to him, and idk if we should take that as his arrogance or that his older brothers rly are weak/powerless. it would make sense as to why naobito had a lot of sons, ig, as head of clan

i feel so bad that if one of the factors that can caused heavenly restriction is inbreeding,, toji and maki and mai had no say in how they wanted to be born but are scorned for it,, typical asian families projecting their traumas and ideals onto their kids but get mad when they realize that those ideals are ugly...😁😁😁

since the zenin are conservative,, i wonder if they still hold onto old jpnese dining traditions. where in ancient jpn, hierarchical relationships were made readily apparent even within families. a dining table where everybody sat down and ate as equals would be unheard of. rather, each individual is given their own table that indicates their status,,, someone who is not considered “strong” according to the zenin’s views most likely have no place at the table, and probs eat when those who are “strong” finished/ serve them when they are eating

if toji was tossed into a swarm of curses,, i dont think abuse during said time is below them,,,

the zenin clan was already great, but they further amassed power and strength by, what i assume to be, marrying and adopting powerful individuals into the clan 🤔 ,,, i imagine they're like the hiiragi but without doing what they did to shinya (ons reference)

BUT after all that, i like to think that since akutami’s a big horror fan, jjk might be an outlet to explore said topics or even darker ones, so i wouldnt be that surpised abt it. given that there’s more than enough “red flags” before this was dropped : a reference to “tale of hikaru genji” when a grown woman asked for gojou’s number in HI arc (out of all things); granny who transformed into the man’s daughter, sat on his lap and man just touched her waist; mei mei and ui ui ; and...this (incestous theme is in the novel btw)

lets not start with whatever the fuck in kubo’s head in the interview otherwise i’m writing paragraphs with every curse words possible,, those big 3 mangakas are so— UGH,, a planet w out (cis) men like him sounds real good rn 😌 if one of yall out there decide to do it,, pls hmu rly cant do this shit anymore

akutami said i like my men pretty and i like women who will step on my neck and spit in my face (I REMEMBERED TATSUKI FUJIMOTO’S INTERVIEW WHEN HE WAS ASKED ABT MAKIMA AND IT WAS SO 😭😭😭😭) but ykw,, love that for both of them <3

when i said 3 : one piece, bleach, naruto. aside from the blatant depiction/ characterize of women in those 3,, idk if some ppl arent aware yet but oda is friends with two (2) convicted pedos,, man...the major disappointment and disgust when i first find out abt it

anyways this is just my 2 cents (which i think rightfully belong to the trash can) so pls just take this w a lil to no grain of salt - 🐱

YEAH THE ♡ LMFAO I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A “good answer ♡“ heart BUT NOW IM RE-EXAMINING?????

honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if the three clans practiced inbreeding. but ik people are going to be  😡😡😡😡😡 about it when the queen of fucking england is literally married to her (something) cousin. i’m not justifying it but like....love the double standards, just as always with the west 😍

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT FUCKING PED* LIST THEY SHOULD ALL BE IN JAIL. JAILLLLL. it’s all so gross. that’s why i fucking hate when people look towards manga for positive representation because the chances of that are super slim to zero, especially since the industry is saturated with misogyny and ped******* and a lot of other gross stuff.

i think ppl forget jjk is a horror manga LOL so obviously it’s going to confront darker themes. the question is whether it’s going to be done tastefully or not......

[silver-wield]

Hello Silver! First off, i would like to thank you for the deepest analysis on Cloti things, all yer texts are just so in depth and they touch on so many subjects, TBH im so so so much delighted I found your little spot, you have my gratitude <3. My question would be bout' the scene when Cloud hangs and holds Tifa, and they talk a bit, which was translated one way in the OG, and the translation is boosting the LTD spark.

But i stumbled upon the translation where C is saying about seeing the other side of mountain - which in my mind is a reference to him and T never making to the other side of MT. Nibel (when they were kids) and it's sort of a invitation/comfort that C is actually able to bring up. (because he was messed up before, now he isn't) Or is he asking her if she wants to see her mother? Ima bit confused here, Hopefully you know which translation im about. I would like to know your approach on this one<3

Ending of OG mistranslation explained

The guy who translated OG had two weeks to get it done, so unlike the Remake bastards who deliberately fucked with the script and changed/inserted lines that didn't exist, we gotta give this one a bit of leeway in all the mistakes he made.

Cloud and Tifa think they're about to die during this scene. The lifestream is about to burst out and engulf them and since they've both taken a swim in it already, they know how deadly it can be. Also, the force of it would injure them, not to mention they're going to get swept up, flung at force, and hit the ground. They'll die. They know they will. So, because they're about to die, Cloud is trying to comfort Tifa by saying they'll reunite with all their loved ones. Their parents, friends and everyone they've lost. They've lost a lot of people. The whole of Nibelheim. It's a village. They'd have known everyone by name. Imagine going from everyone knowing you from birth to a total absence of anyone to remembering you? And then to top it off you're about to die too. How hopeless. And Cloud promised they'd be okay. He's doing all he can to comfort Tifa in this hopeless situation so she's not scared. That's why she smiles and agrees with him. She knows how he thinks and understands what he's doing. It's one final romantic gesture.

But, then they live and immediately afterwards when the HW lands and they're standing around watching the lifestream sink back into the planet, Cloud smiles, promises to live and that he understands their relationship has moved onto a new stage that's different from before. And we head straight into otwtas, which shows us Cloud was very happy for those two years before he got sick and ran away to spare Tifa pain. Then, on the evening of the final battle in AC after Cloud's returned to life at the church, he and Tifa head back home together with the kids to celebrate another new beginning as shown in the kids are alright.

Cloud is the biggest dork of a romantic hero to Tifa. Everything he does is for her ❤️

[hermionegranger56]

a v late recap of evermore

so i think Taylor Swift sensed that i was Going Through It and was like here you sad bitch, here’s another surprise album to help fix all that. cause good lord evermore is just what i (and i think we all) needed. i truly TRULY can’t believe we’re lucky enough to get a sister album to folklore, i love it so much. the first day it was out i drove myself 2 hours to the very end of the Cape and sat on an empty beach and cried to it and honestly??? magical. here are my thoughts on it that no one asked for:

first, as an overall here, this album complements folklore so well. it’s the spring to folklore’s autumn, it’s self-assured and warm and beautiful. each album shows off her lyrical genius so well and she only grows stronger here. when folklore came out, i was floored because the music was so different for her and so up my alley. each song’s production sucked me in and it was like she was confidently telling us “here is another genre i can work with” (masterfully at that). evermore feels different. it feels like Taylor is so comfortable in this creative space, she isn’t trying to fit into any new molds or expectations, she is just HERE, now, saying “this is who i am and this is my craft”. it’s really been a privilege to watch her grow as an artist. ok. here we go

willow:

god the video was so beautiful, a really good continuation of cardigan. the chorus is so so delicate and prettyyy, thats MY MAN ughhh its so good. it reminds me a lot of invisible string tbh, or if betty from cardigan grew up and found love. this is really one of my favorites, she starts so strong

fave lines: “the more that you say, the less i know/ wherever you stray I follow/ i’m begging for you to take my hand/ wreck my plans, that’s my man”; “life was a willow and it bent right to your wind”

champagne problems:

oh dear god, it’s if all too well and new years day had a baby and it is a MASTERPIECE. i can picture it all, college sweethearts, broken hearts, i feel like its new england at christmas, ivy league old money…its cinematic. and it gets at the feeling like you’ll never be good enough so you leave before that happens (basically before you get to the tolerate it stage??) and OOF. AND GODDAMN THE RANTING BRIDGE (illicit affairs came close on folklore but i think THIS might be the best bridge since All Too Well). I’ve screamed it a lot tbh

fave lines: BRIDGE BABYYYYYY EVERY SINGLE PERFECT WORD. WHAT A SHAME SHES FUCKED IN THE HEADDDD

gold rush:

this one is bright and lovely and catchy!! it reminds me a lot of mirrorball tbh, all like swirly and magical. i can’t even put it into words but i can see this one so clearly. its all rosy and golden

fave lines: “eyes like sinking ships on waters/ so inviting, i almost jump in”; “what must it be like to grow up that beautiful?/with your hair falling into place like dominoes/ I see me padding across your wooden floors/ with my Eagles t-shirt hanging from your door”; “the coastal town we wandered round/ had never seen a love as pure as it”; “my mind turns your life into folklore”

’tis the damn season:

UGH I FUCKING LOVE THIS ONE EVEN THOUGH IT MAKES ME WANNA TEXT MY EX. the melody is SOOOO satisfying, the progression to “write this down”, i’m obsessed. the idea of being home for the holidays and feeling a little lost and tired and nostalgic for what could have been is something superrrr relatable. this song reminds me of snowy drives around my hometown in the best/worst possible way hahah. one of my top 5 for sure.

fave lines: “we could call it even/ you could call me babe for the weekend/ tis the damn season, write this down/i’m staying at my parents house/ and the road not taken looks real good now”; “and wonder about the only soul/ who can tell which smiles i’m faking”

tolerate it:

oh honeyyyyy this track 5 packs a punch, i mean the lyrics are absolutely BRUTAL in the best way. it’s just so sad, and encompasses a lot of my own insecurity about always feeling like you’re more invested in a relationship and watching someone fall out of love or just stop caring. i LOVE the “my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it”, like bitch YES your love should be celebrated. also taylor sounds angelic on the “I” at the start of the chorus

fave lines: “i know my love should be celebrated/ but you tolerate it”; “i made you my temple, my mural, my sky/ now i’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life”; “what would you do if I/break free and leave us in ruins/ took this dagger in me and removed it”

.

no body, no crime:

YESSSSSSSSS I LOVE THE SUBGENRE OF COUNTRY ABOUT WOMEN KILLING SHITTY HUSBANDS AND THIS SONG IS SO FUCKING GOOD AHHHHH!! I LOVE the beat, i love country taylor, i love the addition of HAIM. UGH ITS SO CATCHYYYY, like i’m obsessed with the slide from “i think he did it but i just. can’t. prove itttttt NOOO no body no crime” UGHHH this is without a doubt in my top five

fave lines: “she thinks i did it but she just can’t prove it”

happiness:

I heard this one described as an emotional marathon and holy shit it is, each line is a sucker punch. i really like how it feels like a conversation and looks at the acceptance and pain that mingle together when a relationship just…ends. her lyrics are unmatched on this album but this is a particularly strong track

fave lines: “i haven’t met the new me yet”; “when did all our lessons start to look like weapons/ pointed at my deepest hurt”; “there is a glorious sunrise/ dappled with the flickers of light/ from the dress i wore at midnight”

dorothea:

this one feels like Betty 2.0 and its so sweet and bright and also kinda sad. it’s wistful!! that’s the word i want, wistful! the vibe is gives off reminds me of Red, like musically. it’s home-y. idk if that makes sense but i like it a lot

fave lines: and if you’re ever tired of being known for who you know/ you know, you’ll always know me”

coney island:

ugh this one is magical, i honestly really love the instrumental to this one, it’s so soothing. the lyrics to me feel like you’re in some dream state, going through every heartbreak you’ve ever been through. I love the addition of The National, the vocals fit together so well (and I like it better than both Bon Iver features i think??)

fave lines: do you miss the rogue/ who coaxed you into paradise and left you there/ will you forgive my soul/ who you’re too wise to trust me and too old to care?”

ivy:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (that’s how i feel about this absolute masterpiece oh my GOD) it makes me so incandescently happy, the folk feel, the lyrics that are so cinematic and poetic and paint such a clear picture (to me) of two Victorian lovers who are in unhappy marriages but don’t let that stop their love. the chorus just like….fills my whole chest, the OH GODDAMN hits so different. and i want “my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand” tattooed on me, that is one of her BEST lines and i will die on that hill. its all so pretty, i can’t deal. the vibe also strongly reminds me of a) invisible string and b) Little Women (2019). i think taylor should do folk and uhhhh only folk please

fave lines: EVERY WORD BUT ESPECIALLY: “i’d meet you where the spirit meets the bone/ in a faith forgotten land”; “oh goddamn/ my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand/ taking mine, but its been promised to another/ oh, i can’t/ stop you putting roots in my dreamland/ my house of stone, your ivy grows/ and now I’m covered in you”; “he wants what’s only yours”; “clover blooms in the field/ springs breaks loose, time is near“; ”so yeah, it’s a fire/ its a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it”

cowboy like me:

ALL RIGHT everyone sleeps on this song but oh my GOD its so good!! it’s smooth and dreamy and gives me that old fashioned, bonnie and clyde type love story and some of the lyrics are so poetic. I really love the addition of the Tim McGraw chords too???? BUT DEAR GOD COULD WE HAVE GIVEN MARCUS MUMFORD MORE OF A ROLE HERE??!! HE SOUNDS WONDERFUL, GIVE HIM A FEATURE, GIVE HIM A WHOLE VERSE. THIS IS A FOLK ALBUM TAYLOR, USE FUCKING MUMFORD AHHHH (i fucking love him omg)

fave lines: “dancin’ is a dangerous game”; “you’re a bandit like me/ eyes full of stars”; “now you hang from my lips/ like the Gardens of Babylon/ with your boots beneath my bed/ forever is the sweetest con”

long story short:

A BOP!! GIVE ME SOME HAPPINESS TAYLOR WOO! I really love how catchy this one is. it feels like her introducing the craziness of her life to joe and being like look all of that was tough but here i am now and I couldn’t be happier. It’s refreshing, self-deprecating and endearing. I couldn’t love it more and it is ALWAYS stuck in my head!

fave lines: “and he’s passing by/ rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky”; “long story short I survived”

marjorie:

ha hahah hah ha this one ENDS me, like dear LORD i need to call my grandma immediately. it is so so GOOD and SAD, like the you don’t know how good something or someone is until they’re gone, but even then, they’re still there with you. I love the grandma wisdom of “never be so clever you forget to be kind” etc. and holy SHIT the addition of Taylor’s grandmother’s opera singing as background vocals is GENIUS AND DEVASTATING, god the part where she goes “i’d think you were singing with me now” and then Marjorie comes in is honestly one of the most beautiful musical moments i’ve heard in a hot minute and it breaks me every time. wow.

fave lines: “never be so polite/ you forget your power/ never wield such power/ you forget to be polite”; “the autumn chill that wakes me up/ you loved the amber sky so much”; “and if i didn’t know better/ i’d think you were singing to me now”

closure:

ok i’m sorry, this is my only skip here. I really do love the lyrics and the idea of, yeah no you don’t deserve closure from me. i just can’t get past the pots and pans beginning, its too chaotic. but i’m sure it’ll grow on me! it does feel like finally moving on and i do love that about it

fave lines: “don’t treat me like/ some situation that needs to be handled”; “i know i’m just a/ wrinkle in your new life/ staying friends would/ iron it out so nice”

evermore:

god her voice is SO soothing in this one, it’s literally hypnotic. the song itself feels wandering and dark at first, like you’re stuck in this depression, and then bon iver comes in and it picks up and it feels like coming out of the trees, into the sunlight and finding your way again. finding that the pain WOULDNT be for evermore like she says. it feels like an ending and a beginning. beautiful

fave lines: “writing letters/ addressed to the fire”; “and when i was shipwrecked/ i thought of you/ in the cracks of light/ i dreamed of you”; “and i was catching my breath/ floors of the cabin creaking under my step/ and i couldn’t be sure/ i had a feeling so peculiar/ this pain wouldn’t be for evermore”

[fmdkiana]

【✧】━━━━━ 🌿 k i a n a     i n t r o     p l a y l i s t 🌿 ━━━━━【✧】

these are nineteen songs that i’ve been listening to while making kiana’s blog [x] some i came across, some randomly thought of, and some suggested by lovely muns i’ve been chatting about kiana to. since she’s a character that i’ve adapted for the purpose of famed, these songs have helped ground me in the person she is. i hope the songs and descriptions below will help you learn kiana a little better too

1. to be torn by kyla la grange

this first song was a suggestion from someone, and i think set the tune for the rest of my choices. apparently it’s from beauty and the beast? lol anyway it describes this desire to be torn, a carnal need to be used. the heavy sound of it is kind of haunting, a bit sad, but also strong. the emotion can be felt even without the lyrics. kiana has this part of her that deeply craves being important, whether it comes at her own expense -her own tearing- or not. also forewarning that a lot of these overlap on the same concepts. shrug emoji

2. intertwined by dodie

intertwined is a song that immediately came to mind for kiana after to be torn. when this song came out, many people saw it as a cute love story, wanting to be intertwined with a lover, and have them be the safe space when you have a troubled head. however, dodie made a video debunking this, against her natural inclination, because the song describes something severely unhealthy. the following music video also helped many people to see the gore that’s strung throughout the lyrics. it Actually describes a relationship where the participants have put all of their source of happiness in one another, and it’s left them codependent, but ever seeking more. kiana has this perpetual trouble in relationships, especially romantic ones

3. bite by troye sivan

i can be the subjective of your dreams, your sickening desire is a pretty good sum up of where the inspo comes from. it’s difficult, when talking about the negative parts of kiana, to not talk about her ex-boyfriend. i have lots planned to talk on so i won’t go on forever here, but it reminds me of how all it took was the tiniest invitation for kiana to “become his.” that’s how she works. come here puppy, don’t bite, and she’ll heel at your side forever. at least, back then. she’s someone who seems difficult, because she’s very asocial, but with the right formula, it could be so easy to slip her into your arms

4. hell in heaven by twice wish

this song is a bit similar to intertwined, i would say? someone who feels stuck, drowning in a “hell” that is only saved by a piece of “heaven/paradise.” yet they’re in between the place of hell and heaven, constantly confused of where they land, because they’ve placed their hope for salvation in this one, singular place/person. they want to be freer than they are, yet their salvation keeps them locked away. open the door to heaven, let me walk on the cloud. the day i’m trapped in you, save me, hold me tight

5. dinner & diatribes by hozier

a few different levels come from this song. while it was created with the idea of how tedious social gatherings are, the story that comes from it makes another world. kiana is asocial, and struggles with fear over social situations, which make something like dinner parties quite stressful for her. she’s also someone who isn’t fond of small talk, and more likely that type to say ‘talk to me about your deepest fears,’ but... she actually means it and isn’t saying it to be pretentious. she would much rather see the sickest, nastiest parts of someone, soak all of that up, than talk about whether the food was good. the music video describes this in part, but also gives a hades/persephone but worse type of story that is also quite kiana aligned. that’s the kind of love i’ve been dreaming of

6. creep by radiohead

i want you to notice when i’m not around. so fuckin special, i wish i was special, but i’m a creep. not to ‘have you ever seen me without this hat’ on you, but lissen! kiana is forever convinced she’s an outsider. the things she likes are more Cool these days than they were when she was a kid, but the feeling of being ostracized for liking them back then will always live with her. she’s an insecure overthinking fuck at times too. and also desperately wants to be someone special, and unique, as if having that would make her pain of feeling different worth it

7. seigfried by frank ocean

the meaning of this song is pretty different from how i view it in relation to kiana. for her, the focus is on the idea of ‘settling down’ being... acceptance of normality? her whole life, she’s been searching for someone and/or something that makes her feel special. she became an idol for this exact reason, dated her ex for that reason, seeks the relationships she does, thinks she could still have superpowers for this reason. but the truth is that she’s pretty normal. her hobbies are very normal people type things. her talents aren’t anything that would have her being called top of the line. her thoughts are all things other people have thought of. her booksmart intelligence isn’t any stronger than the average. she is very normal, and the tiny part of her that acknowledges that usually shoves it away. but on occasion, she wonders if she should accept it, and settle

8. gimme love by joji

gimme gimme love is all you really need to know lol kiana doesn’t stick around easily when she’s not being given the same kind of world-ending affection from those she’s chosen to share that with that she gives out. she gives at Least 110% of her love, affection, and loyalty into anyone that she has chosen to keep closest to her heart, and if she isn’t getting that back, she can feel dejected, unloved, and unimportant. she may give people like this a few chances to change, but her expectations, or “standards,” won’t change

9. pain by king princess

cos i can’t help turning my love into pain is the strongest lyric that ties back to kiana. the overall message isn’t as strong because king princess has a different view on a relationship as described than kiana. for her, it’s yet another kiana will put herself in the face of terrible parts of relationships. the trouble is that she enjoys it, and seeks it, thinking it’s the ultimate show of love. not to pain one another, but to be pained without them. also realizing after all these i should be saying this applies to her inner circle friendships as well, but the standards are just a little less heavy

10. any song by zico sun

not one for big gatherings, kiana likes to have her social interaction either through the wire, or in small groups (duos are best to her tbh) the song has an upbeat tune that contrasts against the lyrical meaning of something more about... any song will do, something to drag away the sadness that’s living inside. kiana functions a bit like that, always seeking her uniqueness to bust out and save her from her own mind thinking she’s not good enough

11. why won’t they talk to me? by tame impala

she is asocial, but that doesn’t mean being a hermit,, an otaku,, whatever you want to call her, is a life full of happiness. she functions very well on her own, but when she has that for too long, it can be damaging to her head as well, especially when she has inner circle friends or a romantic relationship. when not speaking to these people, the need for human connection seems unbearable to deal with, and anxiety runs rampant

12. alien by lee suhyun

her mama told her she’s alien, but actually it was herself telling herself she’s alien mixed with influence from pop culture making her want to be a superhero and kids who told her she was a freak, all coming together in the desire for weirdness to be a Cool thing. kiana will wish til the day she croaks that she will have a realization that she has a special power

13. stressed out by twenty one pilots

ki doesn’t care about the core message of this song. many people relate to oh no bills~ adult stress~ but kiana doesn’t. even if she wasn’t born into a family that could live comfortably, and didn’t become an idol making phat stacks, she would feel the same. to her, it’s an inevitability. HOWEVA the beginning lines are 1:1 for how she wishes to be something extraordinary, and is supa insecure that she isn’t. i wish found some better sounds that no one’s ever heard. i wish i had a better voice that sang some better words ... i was told when i get older all my fears would shrink but now i’m insecure and i care what people think

14. true crime by epik high ft. miso

not exactly 1:1 word by word, since there’s several perspectives coming in one song, however, the overall message i think can be summed in it’s a true crime to be without you. other lines like i’d open up my chest for your entertainment, that was the line that drew me to originally put this in the playlist. i’m not sure on a story behind the song, but it strikes me as something bonnie & clyde-esque? there’s themes of being on the run, lying on the pavement dying, stuff like that. that kind of relationship is strongly the ideals kiana holds for her romantic and close platonic relationships

15. shine by pentagon (shouldve been knight but bad bois image PLAYIN)

i cannot explain to u the random joy this dumb song gave me when it came out. it’s similar to power up like i just?? get so happy lol anyway the whole premise is like nerdy person has a crush n theyre like oh my god~ why would u like me~ i cant say i like u~ it’s super fucking cute. i’m a loser who loves you. yes, i’m a misery. to you, i’m a nuisance, i’m an outsider, but in this world, i only need you. that’s where the kiana part comes in strongest, or explains it in one sentence. she worries she isn’t enough for others but her affections are always incredibly strong. also she’s cute

16. tail by sunmi dimensions soloist 2

when i first heard this song, i needed to play it again to pay attention to the lyrics because i had the feeling it was kiana-esque. i was right, but i would say that it’s where kiana could go at her worst. has she been there? i’m not so sure. perhaps teetering on the edge of having her claws out, but really, for now, it’s just that the potential is there

17. she’s my religion by pale waves

so as to not repeat myself too much and because this is so much fookin writing already, this is another song that talks about how deeply and dangerously kiana falls into others. she’s no angel, but she’s my religion, always finding ways to numb the pain ... made me feel like i was finally enough ... she needs this love just as much as me

18. space cadet by beabadoobee

this song has similar themes to alien, but rather than about being special, it’s about being in a shitty place and letting your mind wander to create a better reality. ki has her interests, her extreme love of her fandoms, because it’s an escape for her. that’s not something i personally approve of, however, it’s a common reality for many people. living in these online spaces and thinking of these fictional worlds gives her a place to go to when the irl world is too difficult for her to handle

19. me! me! me! by teddyloid

you might think this is a meme addition and sure! to a degree it is! but i’m also going to talk about it as an actual piece of music and visuals. first we’ll talk about the music video. kiana feels complicated about the type of anime fans that oversexualize everything, so in general, she likes a message that’s against those types. the message of addiction tearing real life relationships apart also is something kiana sorta needs to hear. the lyrics of the song itself talk about an all consuming type of relationship, and dissects it to explain how it wasn’t love, but worship, which was dangerous to them both. it’s a song that kiana perhaps would need to take to heart, but i, as her mun, am unsure if she ever will. that depends on the connections she forms, and what types of people are goading her on, or trying to get her to stop

[utopiastrology]

How to spot a Capricorn Sun

-I think one my favorite things about Cap is its association with the Devil tarot card: as the last and most “complete” earth bound sign, they embody the height of success and self-mastery, as well as all the self generated obstacles to even get there in the first place 

-entirely personal opinion (I mean, aren’t all of these posts?), but it’s a pretty sexy placement tbh

-So. Here the ego lies within the realm of reputation, effort, merit, public success, the height of tangible, earthly human achievements before the Zodiac wheel gets decidedly ethereal and spiritual with the last 2 signs. 

-for this reason they’re the most attached to values & qualities that have been upheld as true marks of an accomplished & respectable human being for ages - things that make you the MVP in the public sphere, the work place, in society / and the ride or die in the private sphere, in relationships : keeping your word, cultivating wisdom, respecting the ones who paved the way for you, a good work ethic, loyalty

-Henceforth, being on the receiving end of their affection or effort and attention is invaluable. If they’ve decided someone or something is worth investing in, they will give to it/them with a kind of steadiness that not a lot of people have the resources to sustain. 

-They love you? they’ll put the work in. They protect people, they watch out for the weaker ones. They get serious about love, and friendships, which is awesome. 

-In the age of flippancy, meaningless trends and constant chase for comfort and ease, they were born to move mountains, to actually choose the hard way of abiding to a code of ethics and standards of conduct, to not cheat themselves out of the feeling of real success and achievement, to put in the actual work to create long-lasting value

-Although Saturn represents rules, Capricorns are not sticklers for “fitting in” at all costs; even for the most troubled of them there is a sense of solidity in who they are and what they want, which makes for great individuality and personal agency. Since they put their success in the world above most things, they are very likely to march to the beat of their own drums and realize their vision not matter what.

>the issue being... that they might kid themselves on precisely who they are and what they want based on traditions and cultural norms that have been passed on to them very early on. These elements condition their concept of an ideal, successful self that they’ll work towards embodying and perfecting. 

If those ideals and norms were positive and appropriate, then their character is beyond reproach, and their emotional lives bloom healthily. However if these norms were stifling, repressive, intolerant, then Caps have a long term issue on their hands (and so do the people around them).

 More so than other people, they internalize these types of notions and rigidly identify with them even when it’s not exactly in their best interest as they fail to adapt this persona to evolving circumstances in their life. This can create unnecessary internal strife, the feeling of playing tug-of-war with themselves to keep themselves “in check”.

-In early life it’s better that they be socialized in more open minded, bendable environnements, as they already have a natural tendency to create prisons for themselves. As long as they remember to willfully build up their sense of tolerance, THEN they’ll enjoy the best of both being a proverbial type A person AND being someone who’s fun, emotionally intelligent, who people love and enjoy being around. Emotional intelligence and acceptance are their main homework in life

-Because of their heightened sense of responsibility (and the responsibilities people like to put ON them) they can have a tendency to deny themselves the journey of “finding themselves” that everybody else embraces with a flourish in our day and age. They might feel unconsciously that it is too self-indulgent of a pursuit. Therefore they seem to prematurely act as though they have all their ducks in a row, which can give other the impression that they are unimaginative or lack spontaneity  

-this is not the case though, as they have a great intellectual capacity, curiosity and agility, paired with the actual stamina to study things deeply and seriously

-Hidden depths of sincere, life-long passion for the arts, their art

-I don’t think I even need to say this but material success, making the moneys$$, security, achievements you can count and measure: these are important to their happiness and ego. They don’t take success for granted and always live to be appreciated and recognized for all that they do 

-little patience for bluff or promises: it’s fine if you want something from them, but you better show them the money upfront, get those receipts ready regarding how and why you deserve their valuable attention. They pay attention to your track record 

-they have a sense of decency and modesty when it comes to their private life, their love life. It’s not that they keep secrets for secrecy’s sake *cough*Scorpios*cough*, they just have restraint when it comes to sharing their deepest feelings and most tender or painful emotions; and that is a mark of how much they value that part of their life  

-Remember their sister/shadow sign is Cancer: the home base and families in general are their secret treasure and drive, just like security and achievement is Cancer’s dream at the back of their mind. 

-So even though they might be outwardly motivated by other things, it is highly beneficial for them to enjoy a stable home environnement and conventional, reliable relationships with a longstanding family-like unit, be it born or chosen. The idea of having a legacy in appealing to them.

-they do enjoy being the boss. It’s not so much about being the leader, or ordering other people, but they love being the one to say ‘well, someone had to do it’!

They like being the one who steps up to the plate, the one who did everything right even when everybody was slacking - if you ask them at any given moment, people who aren’t them are usually slacking 

-see the career potential in people around them; talking about each other’s career and giving each other honest advice and useful tips is a way to show care and friendship

-do not mind blurring the line between their private life and their career; business associates can be friends, friends can be business associates; a family business can be an attractive concept

[stvrbvrn]

ａｎ　ａｎｄｒｏｍｅｄａ　ｉｎｔｒｏ－ｐｏｓｔ

* ╰   zoey deutch  ;  17 ;  she/her  —— wow, andromeda black sure has changed. i guess she is feeling isolated from the other slytherin members. guess you can’t really blame them. i still remember them being so  independent  &  steely  now they just seem  secretive  & cynical.  guess being a pureblood  isn’t helping matters much either.  i’m hopeful though. they’ll be just fine.  

you can contact me on here in those dms, or my discord is @ alex //#7484

character inspiration: sansa stark (got), astrid leong-teo (crazy rich asians), aphrodite (greek myth)

pinterest

whelve: (v) to bury something deep, to hide

she’s a warm laugh on a cold morning ; the flick of a wrist ;  the gentle clink of pearls ; lipstick smudged on the lip of a glass ; an empty, echoing hall in a museum ; fresh mists of expensive perfume ; delicate fingers brushing aside wisps of hair ; pointed heels abandoned at the bottom of a staircase ;  half filled decanters ; a thorn pricking an unsuspecting fingertip ; the slow build of a concerto ; the slam of a heavy door

so this is my girl, my lovely queennnnn

living the high life and hating every moment of it

she can’t find it in her to burn as fiery as bella’s strength or run as cold as cissa’s icy resilience. she is a shadow, a hazy mirror of each sister. similar and yet pale in comparison. 

she has always been lukewarm, tepid, medium, her life a long and distressing line of just fine. thank u very much. even as her deepest secrets, dreams, and thoughts boil and bubble beneath the surface of a superficially perfect life.

if anyone were to care enough to ask, she is grateful for her lot in life. a smile always quick to slide into place, polished and content for the pre-destined plan. with her current family a shambles, she is afraid to even think of putting together a new family, the arranged marriage in her future is as terrifying as it is inevitable. she feels as though she will lose everything, her family name, the constant presence of her sisters, and her childhood.  her hesitation and dread surely caused by a demotion in title and status after all the notoriety that comes with being a  black.  surely nothing else more sinister and horribly selfish.

she can’t imagine she shall ever be happy. why should she be?  indoctrinated as she is, she has eyes.  everything she has witnessed could never be called ideal, as much as it was framed that way. warmth never lived in her mother or father’s heart for her. she sees and knows it, even as she struggled for some glimpse of approval that never came. what is it that they see that she didn’t want them to, something weak and dissatisfied and miserable. but then maybe she simply wasn’t looking hard enough. maybe the next time she blinks she will see something new in their gaze that will assuage the building gap.

the finer things enamor her, and not just the beauty of a delicate fabrics and rich color of wine but also art, history, music. each note and brush stroke a promise that there is something out there. something even better than what she silently resents. if only she were brave enough to seek it

an escapist in all facets, andromeda consumes and absorbs the things around her like a sponge, in search of something. anything to fill a space inside her chest that only widens and yawns at her efforts. she lacks for nothing and often balks at her own greed and dissatisfaction. but  “a golden cage is still a cage”  each small glimmer of happiness fading the moment it comes

andromeda is an observer. her eyes opened and lips tightly sealed. she sees and dangerously pieces together her own understanding rather than swallow the bitter pill handed to her. she sees and in some cases, judges.

her friends call her dro, or they would if she had any. jkjk she has friends at varying levels of trust. she could never quite commit to complete isolation, her observations fascinating enough to draw her into the fray. her small collection of those she enjoys betraying a weakness in her incredulity. (also bring on any other nicknames that that monstrosity of a name brings to mind. she’ll most likely pretend to hate all of them)

beneath her doubt, her fear of the unknown. she is a hopeless romantic gone to rot. she is distant, as untouchable as a masterpiece in the museum that is her picture perfect life. a thing more suitable for admiration than intimacy.

there is a feeling that no matter your connection to andromeda, that no matter your efforts, there is always something hidden within that she is keeping to herself. and it’s true. there is nothing andromeda would willingly show that she didn’t want people to see.

difficult to reach, to understand. she prefers it this way. guilt and shame shoving down the better parts of her self beneath the mask she is meant to be. the her that her parents beat her into, beat into all three of them with varying success. 

while it’s true she is haughty.  impatient. a temperamental  black.  a life of pampering and promises forever ingrained in her world view. while good for her self-worth, it is probably off putting to some. there are at times promises of goodness, she can be thoughtful. intelligent. even driven to empathy when faced with tears, pain calling out to something inside her. 

but if there’s anything her family’s mutilated tree has taught her, to bloom is to die. she pictures his escape  and subsequent increase in happiness to be the height of abandonment, of betrayal. how dare he leave (without her). how dare he leave her wanting and missing and heartbroken. she truly misses sirius and her head spins, chest aching and eyes burning at the thought of him. yet as always, she goes to great lengths to never reveal her secrets, instead giving her true feelings no form. buried while she looks on in envy and deeply buried hope. the boy thoughtlessly laying a path towards something selfish but impossibly enticing.

while hope is not her strong suit, andromeda is (to her great chagrin and misery) capable of extreme and consuming love. love of beauty and things. love for her sisters. but also her cousin. but mostly,  herself.  loyalties warring in her heart and tearing at a shaky resolve. at this rate, were someone else to steal one of the splintered, scattering pieces in her chest, it would be the end. the final straw for her unhappiness to be complete.

connections:

girl gang – give her all the best friends. the nicole to her paris. soul sisters. ovaries before brovaries. hymen heroines. those hoes she lives and breathes for. i think typically this would be fellow slytherins or ppl that she met through pureblood high society connections. OPEN  

ex-boyfriend/girlfriend – ew this makes me sad and emotions are hard to deAL. basically this will be all angst city. most likely andromeda would be the one to break things off since she wasnt always as skeptical of that familial pressure. depending on how their relationship was, she could regret it or be cold about it.  OPEN

rival/frenemies – these two are just too similar to get along. toxic pureblood society has pitted them against each other and no one is winning. okay but if they went from enemies, to reluctant respect, to almost friends?? MAYBE EVEN FRIENDS EVENTUALLY?? i would be here for it asdlk  OPEN

confidante – andromeda isn’t honest with anyone, not even herself. but this could be someone that she’s probably known for a long time who she possibly could’ve opened up to in a weak moment and now they’re bonded forever. she would feel indebted to this person for keeping her secrets and would do her best to protect them any way that she could. extra feelings if this person feels the same way and they can be sad, but also cLOSE, together. OPEN

secret school friend – maybe they were forced partners as prefects or a fateful potions class but andromeda found herself making a surprising friend in an unexpected place. she can’t help admiring their beautiful inner persistence/strength despite her reluctance and occasional snobbery. but now they’re older and she really should cut things off. for whatever reason, she just can’t let go. OPEN

banter partner – alright so this would be someone from the other side of the war that andromeda runs into all the time and they always seem to get into arguments! she’s not quite sure why they get under her skin but andromeda finds it difficult to step away from their confrontations. OPEN

muse – listennnn. this person would be someone that andromeda would just be enamored with, she would regard them very highly and make efforts to speak with them and be around them. if this person were on the other side of the war she would probably resent them a little but be unable to resist.  i’ll probably just spring this on somebody tbh?? since the relationship would be based on her own tastes. but this would be someone that andromeda would admire for their appearance– sure, but also for the aura that they project.

but yes!! msg me if you’d like to plot and i’m honestly open to any connections!! her past is pretty open ended and she hasn’t quite left her family just yet so she could have loyalties all over the place

[softfairies]

25, 26, and 27 please 🌻

thank you!!!so much!!!for the ask!!! ♥♥♥

25. Do you imagine their older age? How?: Yes. After she graduates from Hogwarts she is going to be a couple of months processing exactly what happened to her and how she can confront the world after all the crap. Badeea will be there for Ana, she will accompany her and help her with everything. Months will pass and Ana will continue her dream, still severaly affected but with a light of hope in front of her. She will start her career as a magizoologist and will be extremely good at it. She knows how to handle animals and creatures and they respect her and feel safe around her so that makes everything so much easier. She will fight against the Ministry when this decides to walk through the worst path and she will be a pain in the ass for them however no one will be able to fight against her cause she has her tricks. Before that, she will marry Badeea at the age of 21 since she will now believe that life is too short and there will be less time each day, so for that she will never think twice before doing something. She will fight in the battle of Hogwarts and will survive along with her wife. When everything ends, she will teach Jacob everything she can, like talk and walk, with the help of Badeea and her friends. At the age of 30, she and Badeea will adopt a little baby and will name her Laura Raquel, her middle name to honor Ana’s mother. Years afterwards, a little baby appears in their front door so they take it and name her Samira. However not even one year later, a little boy by the name of Leo escapes from an orphanage and the marriage takes him into their family. Ana will live for many years and very happily, surrounded by her friends and her own family.

26. MC and technology thorugh the ages – would they be involved in internet culture (they’re in their 40s in 2000s – would they be those middle-aged people on facebook later on?).Write your headcanons re:wizarding world and technology – is there internet? Which HPHM kids would use it and how?: Yes she will be. And oml yes, she will have a facebook and she will be so happy posting animal photos!! My headcanons would be that the Díaz-Ali children would grow up in a very mixed environment, that will include the traditions from the Ali family, the ones from the Díaz as well etc. So for that reason, they would love to have modern technology be included in the wizarding world. For example, Laura would have a debate with the head of Hogwarts so as to bring muggle tech into the school since it would be extremely useful. And her mothers would help her by spreading this idea through the Ministry (Rowan’s on their side and oh lord if someone can bring the Ministry to their senses is her). There will be internet once they win the debate (cause they will,,,, they have all the muggle-born community in their side,,,, actually everyone except some purebloods). And regarding the hphm kids, I believe that Rowan, Badeea, Jae, Tulip, Ben, Andre would be the ones who’d use it the most. Rowan since she would love the idea of having books and information all right in front of her. Badeea because well,,, she lives in a house that loves technology and she fell for it too. I mean, so much images!!! Sharing art!! What a paradise. In Jae’s case, asdfghjkl I think he would sell in the deepest parts of the web cause he is like that tbh. Also he would create a large community of illegal stuff you know,,, he would get so many reproaches from his friends but oh lord he wouldn’t listen. And well, Tulip would watch Youtube videos all the time with her family, Ben would do anything cause he knows how technology works and Andre??? He would shop online and critique every single outfit from all the red carpets and awards. Like I think the others would use the internet but not as intensive as these lot.

27. MC’s magic – white, black or some shades of grey? Are they mainstream or do they push the envelope with niche stuff? Are they showy or subtle, systems oriented or intuitive? What’s their strong and weak points? Can they go wandless or wordless? Do they do tarot, divination or alchemy? NECROMANCY???: Ana’s magic is white. After watching how dark magic is so harming for everyone, she literally prohibited even thinking about it to herself. Moreover when it comes to magic, she is very different from Badeea since she is so mainstream and Badeea pushes all of her limits and magical limits every time there’s a chance. Ana’s weak point is the fact that she isn’t very good at duelling! She doesn’t react quickly and even if she works great under pressure, she isn’t very agile. When it comes to wandless or wordless magic she can practice the first one but the wordless magic for her is too difficult. She needs to speak, she can’t keep silent. And finally, when it comes to other forms of magic, she only does some alchemy since she was teached some tricks by her mom.

[6ad6ro]

dark souls

an analysis of every game in the dark souls series by a big fan, but not a fan-boy. someone who isn't so clouded by toxic competitiveness and false pride that they can't see the obvious flaws. a sorta guide for the average person so they can enjoy all the great things souls has to offer, while avoiding the substantial amount of garbage that 95% of players will genuinely hate.

tl;dr - play ds3 or bb first. they’re the best and most fair. maybe watch playthroughs of others to see if you can handle the series’ flaws. a more detailed, WAY longer write-up is underneath the readmore cut! - souls games from best to worst - 1. dark souls 3 GOOD: best souls, best action, great aesthetics, best mixture of everything series did right, best starter game, most fair, least issues. BAD: broken early game co-op due to smurf invaders ruining it for everyone. still has issues that are in every souls games like no offline pausing and artificial difficulty. 2. bloodborne GOOD: fresh new take on souls, made the action better, fair difficulty, souls for people who don’t care about tolkien fantasy, another great starter souls. BAD: confusing multiplayer, shorter than most souls, aesthetic direction limited variety of everything, “chalice dungeons” suck. 3. dark souls 2 GOOD: co-op is the BEST in all of souls, fixed many difficulty and balancing issues brought in by ds1, not a miyazaki game but that can be a good thing sometimes. BAD: without co-op is probably worse than demon’s tbh, rigid laggy combat, kinda linear compared to ds1, not a miyazaki game and you can tell. 4. demon’s souls GOOD: really started it all and deserves the credit, short but sweet, weirdly happy but still evil aesthetics, feels like a fun set of obstacle courses, many ways to mitigate the difficulty. BAD: horrible co-op, confusing mechanics, comparatively too short, almost level-based which takes away from exploration, “world tendency” isn’t great, still very rough around the edges. 5. dark souls 1 GOOD: best aesthetics/music/characters/world/lore of any souls, originated souls exploration, plenty of secrets and replayability, HUGE game, the fan favorite, the deepest levels of masochists will love the abuse from this game, an exploit in all versions to “cheat” and help mitigate the bullshit. BAD: almost not worth playing due to insane cheapness and difficulty right from the start, the fanbase of ds1 is so toxic and horrible and elitist i have to include it, “ornstein and smough”, “curse”, even the world exploration is frustrating in this one, i have never labeled a game as “abusive” until now, is so broken that i have to include a cheat as a fix. 6. dark souls 2 on ps4 GOOD: a remixed version of ds2 that manages to feel very different, way better visuals and 60fps, potential for co-op paradise with ability to play through all of ds2 with 3 friends simultaneously (i wanna try thisss). BAD: worst souls, least fun single player of the whole series by far, most of the balance and fairness brought in by vanilla ds2 is gone, literally patched balanced bosses to break them and make them artificially unfair, feels like a sloppy ds2 fanmod made by a ds1 purist, combat seems even laggier than the original, as much as i hate on ds1 at least it was a fully original game, just go play the other versions unless you’re desperate.

THE READMORE

this will kinda be in order of release. one last thing to note before starting the series is that souls IS inherently cheap and unfair by design. even avoiding most of the worst parts and doing extensive research won't save you from all of it. the concept of souls is that wasting your time retrying parts isn’t enough of a punishment for errors. the creators wanna really hurt you. and they refuse to include difficulty settings! but imo some of the pain is worth it tho, because the storytelling, world exploration, and aesthetics might be better than any game in the last ten years. and highly competitive, “i wanna prove myself” types will eat this gameplay up. this is like if castlevania symphony of the night and silent hill had an incredible but problematic baby.

demon's souls: GOOD! a gorgeous, tough, medium-sized game that really started it all. rough around the edges, but so cool! don't skip this one. this is like your favorite band right before they hit it big. it's still hard, but a lot of the difficulty can be dealt with by choosing an overpowered starting class (royal), and grinding for levels and healing items. the aesthetics are through the roof. it's somehow a happier game than any other souls, which makes it stand out imo! sadly no expansions for this game. i'd have loved more!

there's some bad stuff for sure though. like having to keep track of inventory carry weight. and other things that became staples of the souls series but are really horrible design. like inability to pause even offline. plentiful cheap traps and "gotcha" guess and check mechanics everywhere. super easy to accidentally attack an npc and literally break an entire playthrough. horrible autosaving. confusing awful multiplayer. forced invasions by (usually) smurf players who aren't looking for a fair fight. i'd say "play this one offline" but sadly the servers just went down for good so you don't really have a choice anymore.

it's also comparatively short. maybe a third the size of ds1. maybe even less. and the whole "world tendency" mechanic is just... so so confusing. meaning most players will miss out on a ton of content. it was a cool idea, but it just kinda didn't work with how they did it. too much research required for too little reward. in it's defense, that made the whole game feel very mysterious? idk even with the issues it's still a fav.

dark souls 1: TERRIBLE! i have a lot to say about this one. it's a bit sad, because truth be told this has THE best style and THE best lore and THE best music THE best characters and THE best world design of any souls. aesthetically, this is the pinnacle. it's also a HUGE game with tons of replayability and hidden stuff everywhere. it even has dlc that's really really cool! as far as world exploration goes, this had my favorite part in any souls game ever ("under the tree").

BUT... you have to actually play the game to see all that, and that's the problem. it's just not fun to play unless you're an insane masochist and don't value your time. they kicked up enemy numbers like crazy, made the ai way smarter, REMOVED grinding for health items, and made grinding for levels not that effective at all. everything in this game is tedious work. escapism that's harder than real life? no thanks. there's artificial difficulty walls everywhere you turn, usually in the form of bosses.

seriously the bosses in ds1 are the worst. think of a normal tough game. take that difficult last boss fight. imagine you're now fighting three of those final bosses simultaneously (stun-lock included). now imagine that fight is at the start of the game. and that's the benchmark of ds1's bosses. they aren't ALL that impossible, but a lot of them are. there's this one particular boss fight, "ornstein and smough", that is by far the most misplaced, unfair, stupid boss fight i've ever seen in any game ever. whoever developed it is truly a moron. i almost forgot about the “curse” status effect! about half way into the game, you’ll run into this. it requires an expensive and rare consumable item to deal with it. it’s very easy to miss these until it’s too late. why am i bringing this all up? because not only does curse kill you almost instantly, you respawn with half your health missing until you heal it. imagine all your hard work leveling, all gone to waste from just a single status effect. and this is before teleporting between bonfires was just a part of souls games from the start, so even if you figure out where to go to heal it, you still need to slog through some of the worst areas with half max health to get to them. and then there’s always the risk of getting cursed again when you go back? big issue, because most likely where you’re at in the game the curse removing items aren’t unlimited. bad bad bad bad baaad design.

but, thankfully, there's a way around all these issues. kinda. CHEAT! there's an exploit that lets you consume boss souls an unlimited amount of times even on consoles. it still takes a while to do. it's not instant god mode. on the contrary, the game is still super hard even if you're over-leveled. by doing this, ds1 will feel more fair, like the other souls games. you'll have way more fun.

i NEVER cheat in games normally, but cheating in ds1 takes a bad, horribly flawed game and fixes it. you may hate cheating, but this is more like ripping off an evil casino or like the mob without taking any risk, since the game is so so so unfair to begin with. if you don't wanna cheat, i'd say play the first parts and then watch a playthrough of the rest. the deepest levels of toxic elitist souls fanboys absolutely WORSHIP this game. don't listen to them. even the creator himself has moved away from a lot of this games bullshit.

dark souls 2: GREAT! those same souls fanboys i just mentioned? hate this game. because it's noticeably easier. because it made co-op viable. because their impossible game was suddenly moderately more accessible to everyone else. it's still super tough, super cool, super beautiful. the original creator may have stepped down from this one to do bloodborne, but it's still DEFINITELY souls. and it's an overall better game than ds1 by a long shot simply because your ticket to fun doesn't come at such an unreasonable cost. oh and omg they added back grindable healing items! they also removed the STUPID tutorial area/mandatory boss fight before you can level that every other souls has. and just a lot of the other player-unfriendly changes made between demon's (des) and ds1 have been sorta reversed.

it might seem weird but, since the game is comparatively unpopular, it keeps the majority of toxic soul elitists from playing. the kind of people who get off smurf invading so they can bully others? to stomp new players so they can feel misplaced joy in their otherwise pathetic, purposeless existences? yeah not really here thank god! most invaders are regular people looking for competition, and usually even have a good sense of humor.

outside of that making online totally do-able in this one, it makes online co-op really fairly easy. in comparison to des and ds1, i mean. it's still unintuitive silly bullshit, but imo in this one it's SUPER worth it. amazingly fun! get a good friend. play through the entire game together! a++++. just make sure to keep that soul level similar to each other!!!

there are bad things tho. the single player isn't nearly as good as cooping through the whole thing. the aesthetics aren't quite as good as ds1. the exploration is kinda worse. the gameplay feels weirdly sluggish sometimes too. it's just insanely tanky. people that wanted "dark souls 2: more dark souls 1" would be a bit put off by this bc it was more like how ds1 was to demon's souls. unconnected in lore. imo i kinda liked that but... still. it's biggest flaw was it's lesser story/lore polish compared to the other games.

oh, and while the dlc zones (THREE whole big dlc this time!) are pretty cool, the bosses are just crazy tough to the point of not being fun. still worth getting the dlc for the awesome levels, but the bosses were disappointing in their frustration.

dark souls 2 ps4: THE WORST! this is a sorta weird one, but it deserves it's own little analysis. theoretically, this should've been really cool. a tougher, remixed version of ds2 with dlc included and better graphics/framerate. tbh the game IS beautiful. some if the little touches and changes, while subtle on the surface, completely change how you path through the entire game. it's what "zelda oot master quest" WISHES it could be. also, theoretically, you can play co-op with up to three other people this time (was two before)! neat!!

*should have been neat. because their "remixed enemy placement" really just added way more way tougher enemies. made everything insanely harder. certain bosses that were tough but fun before now just devastate you with no explanation. imagine a shoddy fanmod made by a ds1 fanboy "to fix the casual play". that's what this feels like.

ds2 rode a fine line between cheapness and fairness before, but now all the balance is gone. frustrating annoying bullshit. if you're that kind of ds1 masochist i mentioned before, this is the ds2 for you. everyone else should stay the fuck away. just replay the ps3 version again. i suspect the reason it's like this is they balanced it around the ability to have 3 people helping you at all times? which is idiotic. bc the co-op was a way to compensate for the super hard bosses and invasions. but if you then raise the bar like that, it'd make any single player parts totally unfair. which is exactly what happened. btw i only played the dlc on ps4 and not on ps3, so maybe that's why i was wishy-washy about it?

had they included both the original enemy arrange of ds2 WITH this one, it woulda been cool. but as it stands now it's a much worse version of ds2 for more money. no thanks.

bloodborne: AMAZING! it's so odd to me. people kinda ignored des compared to ds1. they didn't like how ds2 was it's own thing compared to ds1 (see a pattern???)... but then the most drastically different souls game comes out, and almost everyone unifies and loves it. but i'm not complaining, i love it too!

suddenly super fast paced action in comparison. jrr tolkien replaced by hp lovecraft. a smaller game with more polish. it's great! some of the reactionary gameplay was traded for rewarding aggression and risk. but truth be told, that made the game easier. imo bb was the easiest souls game at that point by far. might still be?

but that's not a bad thing, because souls games are so inherently hard and cheap, that the "easiest" souls ends up being the most balanced and fun. the gameplay is just so much more responsive and better than any souls ever came close to being. as much as i missed shields, it was just better. no more slow responses. gameplay feels more like an action game "should".

tho there are a few flaws here too. there are still a few unfair bosses. not like ds1 or ds2dlc... but just the same, they kept up the annoying trend of moderately difficult and insanely interesting/fun world navigation, but with bosses as disproportionately difficult brick walls in your way of the game you really wanna play. the co-op was the most confusing souls co-op yet, to the point i've never even done it (thus could be all on me but still).

there's a whole big (technically optional) chunk of the game called "chalice dungeons", which should've been this amazing roguelike maze of seemingly endless exploration. think souls meets diablo. but it ended up more like the most boring (and often cheap) repetitive thing you've ever done in a souls game. the assets uses to make the random dungeons were too few and so every dungeon felt kinda the same. and they locked a bunch of REALLY good content behind this dungeon slog. i'd say use em for a bit of grinding and then ignore em completely.

my last little complaint, and i'm torn on this, is actually something i praised before. the aesthetics. in all other souls, even though it was "knights n dragons", there was a TON of variety. bright, beautiful locations. dark, evil places. alien landscapes. bizarre abstract things. legend of zelda. silent hill. but in bb, it's mostly just dark. everybody wears edgy black. it's all the same. the weapons and outfits are way more limited. it's more focused for sure, but there's just... less of everything. but souls is a confusing complicated nightmare of gear management, so this might be a good thing to some people.

dark souls 3: THE BEST! this is it. the best souls. they combined the greatest parts of every souls game into one. the amazing combat of bb, but with all the customization and variety of the other souls. the good kind of lore that was in ds1. it's actually the lore sequel to ds1 that everybody wanted, all while being it's own thing as well. there's even a weird aspect of navigation simplicity like des had? oh and it's possibly the easiest souls yet. they even removed soul memory to make co-op way easier! just everything is more intuitive.

a wide variety of aesthetics and locations. a "best of souls" while having it's own unique things. the "weapon abilities" feature is great. everything was polished and optimized. if this truly is the last souls game they'll make, then they went out on the highest note.

okay but now here's the flaws, lol. the removal of soul memory, while it should have made co-op simple and fixed it in comparison, it actually created a whole new HUGE issue. it made things so so easy for smurf invaders. in the earliest areas, you can't take more than a few steps in co-op before some loser with a obv troll name pops into your game and takes almost no damage whatsoever. you won't beat them. they're cheating.

smurfing via high end gear to this level is cheating. there's no other way to look at it. nobody would call an ant vs an elephant a fair fight. so to save time and resources that you need to play online (it's complicated), you have the host disconnect. and then you try again. it's tedious. i'm sure it's made countless new players just give up on co-op completely, and maybe even the whole game. souls smurfs are all so pathetic like i genuinely wish they would find a way to ban them. this is the biggest issue.

another thing is it's sorta linear. maybe even more so than ds2. it's not awful like i think there are more branches than bb but still it's definitely no ds1 in that regard. there are also a few cheap bosses. "nameless king" (optional), "sister" (end dlc thus optional), and "dlc dragon" (forgot his name but double optional). i also think "dancer" (mandatory) is a bit bullshit, but it's also really cool so...

the first dlc, while looking very cool, is kinda tiny and lackluster. it does have amazing npcs/lore... but as stated before, the final boss of it is awful. souls boss formula at it's worst. the second dlc is MUCH better, with maybe my favorite end bossfight in all of souls. it's so hard, but fair. they made the garbage secret bossfight in this dlc thankfully optional. oh and the dlc itself is beautiful and large. and very fitting in regards to lore.

it's kinda hard to not mix in good with the bad on this game. i genuinely love it. most of the typical souls bullshit is easier to avoid, but it doesn't take anything away from the good parts. if you played one souls game, play ds3.

well that's it. srry if it was too long. tried to make it as short as i could. i'm sure i forgot a few points, but i'll rant about this stuff even more extensively in my ds3 letsplay i'm sure. thanks for reading! hope it helped people interested in getting into souls!!

[syubshine]

A relationship like what you always describe is all I wanted. But I was too shy and scared and always told myself that she wasn't interested in me like that so I just kept it to myself. And let me just say that yerning for someone you know will never love you like you want them to really sucks. I never told her, we parted ways and I'll regret it for the rest of my life. Even if it hurts, thank you for helping me relive those feelings that kept me company on numerous sleepless nights. [pt. 2/2]

i saw your messages when i was on the bus and i really almost just started crying omg,, but hi my dearest one i'm really sorry about what you went through and all the confusing and conflicting feelings you felt and may still feel. i feel you, and i get you, i really do. i'm glad my writing has brought you some sort of comfort or that it makes you feel a certain way about your own experiences after reading them; i can only hope that they heal you a little bit and make you feel like you're understood, not alone in your thoughts and feelings, and that maybe- hopefully my fics feel like a warm hug that you need :((i wouldn't say i'm a firm believer but i would like to think that things happen for a reason and things turn out the way they do for a reason, even if it felt like or still feels like the end of the world now, in time you'll start to make sense of things, or they will start to make sense to you and it will still hurt, but you will be okay, i promise. you can probably tell from my writing that i pretty much just pour my entire heart and soul and all my deepest and darkest secrets and inner turmoil into them, and almost everything i write comes from personal experience (besides the relationship aspects because i've got none of that tbh, and just like you, what i describe in those is also what i've always wanted) but everything else, every thought, every feeling, every single word i write comes from my heart, and the kind of love and happiness and relationship you daydream about, i hope you will experience all of them one day. you will, i know it, because that's everything you deserve.yearning for someone in that way really is tough, and it's painful, and it's just a lot of emotions you have to sort through and deal with, and often times you just find ways to cope on your own, but i hope you can get closure in some way or form and i wish you all the best in every aspect of your life. i believe in you, and i know you'll get through this and everything else that comes your way. this reply is getting really fucking long oops but i hope you feel better and more at peace with things and with yourself every passing day. and also just thank you for reading my fics, they’re all very personal to me, so i really appreciate it that you take your time to read them and it means so much that they help you in some way. that’s more than i could ever ask for, really. take care, i love you!!

[stanmoth]

esports orgs rated aka who to stan

NRG- good org. very chad like. picked up rascal when no one else would. hook. gang. god.

Echo Fox- uhhh amazing at everything they touch??? literally represent like 68% of the top fg players. so wonderful so kind. i would take a bullet for them.

immortals- idk much about them tbh. i know noah winstons face looks very soft and that scares me. reps anti which is.... embarrassing

CLG- stuck with aphromoo when they had to chose between him and doublelift aka very smart. lcs team is very valid. merch is like a 8/10. i would not block u if u stanned once had hydration i think thats chill they do photoshoots with the players that r so valid djdhn

Cloud 9- kyky once played on this team -_-. over all fine i guess.... like if u find dudes pretending to be gay for lulz this is def the team for u. also benched jensen and sneaky. unforgivable crimes.

TSM- this org gave bjensen chronic back pain 😔✊ also not to expose myself but liek stan leffen

Team Liquid- youd catch a block quicker then the speed of sound. idc who else is part of the org, jesus christ could be on theyre cod team, Team Liquid is hboxs org which means it awakens fear in me i have not felt in thousands of years.

fnatic- looks fun. had n0tail and custa on teams which makes them good org

100 thieves- mr nadeshot............ mr nadeshot...... ur team is very good and u have very good merch. i hope ur happy. also picked up aphromoo (e.i. very smart) traded meteos (e.i stupid)

optic gaming- not my cup of tea. tho even i can tell how many chads there are. very interesting... tho hecs dropped the ball with the ow team rip

faze clan- honestly liek i think theyre dead but liek peak optic v faze so valid jdjdjsja id stan

Cyclops- represents go1 and dogura and fenritti. very good.

ninjas in pajamas- mainly csgo but that sin is forgiven by how much i like the name

evil geniuses- i am a normal human i stan arteezy arteezy is on eg fly and s4 left og for eg which stopped og from going to the super-major sorry mr teezy thats a quick block from me

which ever eu org has pashabiceps- has pashabiceps 10/10

navi- if ur that one blog who made pro dota aesthetics i would like to extend my deepest apologies for whats happened

panda global: lichrally if u wanna get into a fg and looking for a good and wholesome player panda global is your source for that they keep all the nice to players away from the monsters (esam excluded)

beastcoast: i think theyre chill once again cool name good players

c9 csgo: but lucy uve already talked about c9 lissen they're different the players probably think gay people r shoved down their throats in the media, say slurs and watch sjw pwned videos in the off time but like stewie2k if u wanna hang out im always free also this does not include skadoodle

alfeeca freecs: their little mascot IS SO CUTE

skt: honestly? they suck rn but we stan!

og gaming: LICHRALLY GOD TEIR SO VALID HDJDJSJSJSJXBXBPW YES WE STAN

uyu: really great org! fun merch cool players :D i legitimately really like this org and am excited see a org focus on tekken