nuest-fanfiction - Tumblr blog

nuest-fanfiction · 10 years ago

Text

Taboo Feelings

Title: Taboo Feelings Characters: Ren + the rest of the members Pairings: Ren/? Rating: PG Genre: Romance, Yaoi, comedy, mystery (kind of) Length: 800 words Summary: Ren has these taboo feelings for someone... feelings he’s not supposed to have.

Ren let out a deep sigh and collapsed onto the sofa, rubbing his forehead in frustration.

He hated the way he was feeling right now. Life had been dragging by recently because of something, rather because of someone that he didn’t even want to think about at the moment.

Just thinking about this person makes him tense, makes his insides rage and instills within him this urge to just throw himself out of the window.

He hated being so susceptible to this person. He hated that he had to see this person regularly, that he had to face this person, that he had to hide the way he really felt otherwise… well… let’s just say bad things will happen to him.

“Ren?” Minhyun said, noticing that Ren was thinking about something that was making him jittery.

“Is our Rennie sad?” Baekho said, also noticing that Ren was not his usual self.

“What? Minki is sad! We have to fix it!” Aron said, dashing towards Ren.

“Are you okay, Ren?” JR asked, adding to the ever-growing concerned crowd forming around him.

Ren buried his face in his hands. The last thing he wanted was to come clean to them about his feelings.

He couldn’t tell them. They wouldn’t approve. It was taboo and wrong to feel this way about this guy. It was just wrong. But he couldn’t help it. He just couldn’t.

“What’s wrong with you Ren?” Minhyun asked, crossing his arms and glaring at Ren with a motherly frown on his face.

“Nothing,” Ren lied, avoiding Minhyun’s eyes.

“Nothing my ass,” Baekho said, throwing himself right beside Ren and snuggling against his side, “I know a sad maknae when I see one!” Ren stiffened when Baekho touched him and pushed him away.

“Ren, please tell us what’s wrong with you,” JR asked kindly with a concerned look on his face, the face Ren couldn’t help but find so incredibly handsome…

“Nothing is wrong with me,” Ren lied to them all again, “just leave me alone,” he told them, wanting them to just go away so he can think away his feelings for that one particular person.

“Liar,” Aron said in English, “you’re such a little liar,” he continued in the foreign tongue. Ren always found it incredibly sexy with Aron spoke English. He shook away the thought as soon as it came. Now wasn’t the time to swoon over Aron’s sexy English.

“Ren, stop lying to us and tell us the truth. We’re your friends, we can help you,” Minhyun said.

Why is this idiot so nice, Ren thought, still avoiding Minhyun piercing eyes.

“Look guys, the truth is I’m struggling with something right now that I absolutely don’t want to tell you about. Especially one of you…”

The four members exchanged curious glances.

“Now I want to know more than before,” Aron said.

“Just give us a hint!” Baekho suggested.

“No,” Ren said, wanting to get away from them before they try to push it out of him.

“Please,” JR pled earnestly with a pout, making Ren waver. He really couldn’t resist JR’s puppy-dog face.

“It’s just that I have these really intense… feelings towards someone. Feelings I’m not supposed to have and I can’t help it and it’s driving me insane!” Ren blurted. He realized he probably should have been less expressive.

The four members fell quiet. Some of their jaws hung open. They all looked startled by the revelation. Ren raised his eyebrows. He didn’t expect them to look this surprised.

“What’s wrong?” Ren asked them, “why are you guys so surprised?”

“Wh… who is it Ren?” JR asked, gulping nervously.

Oh, Ren thought in amusement when he realized what the members were thinking.

“Fine,” Ren told them with a sigh, “I’ll tell you.”

The members looked intently at Ren, waiting for the answer.

“I’ve fallen in love with Baekho,” Ren said.

They all froze.

At this point, Ren couldn’t hold it in any longer. He burst into a fit of laughter, indicating to the members that he wasn’t really in love with Baekho.

“That’s not funny, Ren!” Minhyun scolded with a frown.

“You should have seen the look on your faces!” Ren spat through his laughter.

“So you’re not in love with me?” Baekho asked.

“No,” Ren answered, “it’s funny how you guys automatically assumed I’m in love with one of you guys. What are we, in a fanfic?”

“What are these intense feelings you were talking about then?” JR asked curiously.

He considered telling them, but then held back. They wouldn’t approve, especially the goody-two-shoes Minhyun that always respects his elders.

He couldn’t tell them that he absolutely hated the CEO of Pledis.

A/N: Hi guys. I’m alive! I wrote this fanfic in like ten minutes because I had inspiration all of the sudden, but idk if it makes sense or if you guys understood the twist lol. Anyways, I’ve been really busy with life lately, which is why I haven’t been writing like I used to, but I promise I haven’t abandoned this blog. I hope you enjoyed this stupid little fanfic though lol

#nu'est #aren #baekren #minren #jren

41 notes · View notes

nuest-fanfiction · 10 years ago

Text

How to Break His Heart

Title: How to Break His Heart Characters: JR, Ren, Baekho Pairings: JRen, BaekRen, minor JRon. Rating: PG-13 Genre: Friendship, Romance, Yaoi, hurt/comfort Length: 4000 words Summary: Baekho wants to break up with Ren and asks JR to do it for him.

“Jonghyun, I need to talk to you alone,” Baekho said to JR in a manner that was so uncharacteristic of him, it scared the leader.

Baekho doesn’t just call him ‘Jonghyun’ instead of ‘JR.’

Baekho doesn’t just want to talk to someone ‘alone.’

Baekho doesn’t just say things without a smile on his face…

Whatever Baekho needed to talk to JR about, JR just knew that it wasn’t going to be good. JR held his breath and tried to stop the wild guessing game in his head as he and Baekho made their way to an area away from the ears of the rest of the members.

“What is it?” JR said, trying to hide the anxiety in his voice as to not seem like he was pushing Baekho.

Baekho took a deep breath. The pause was driving JR crazy. That Kang Dongho, the most resilient person JR had ever known, needed to hold his breath to say what he was going to say was a good indication of something very unfavorable.

“I want to break up with Ren,” Baekho finally said.

Indeed, it was very unfavorable.

“Wh…what?” JR needed to make sure he was hearing right.

“I just can’t do it anymore, JR. I can’t lie to him anymore. I can’t pretend I love him when I don’t. I know he loves me very much, but I don’t. Does that make me a terrible person?” Baekho asked, genuinely concerned.

JR took a moment to process the information that Baekho had just revealed. Baekho and Ren had been dating for about a year now, and Ren had been so extremely happy about it. It was Ren that had confessed to Baekho, and Baekho agreed to date him because he saw it as an adventure. Eventually, Baekho admitted to loving Ren as more than a friend and their relationship had flourished for a while.

JR had noticed that there was something different between them recently, and that the fire between them had died down; he never thought too much into it though…

It now made sense to him that Baekho was only pretending for Ren. Baekho was everything to Ren after all; Ren admired him and looked up to him and told him he loved him more than someone with Ren’s pride would allow. And now Baekho wants to do something that would break the maknae’s heart…

“How should I do it?” Baekho asked JR.

JR shrugged. How was he to know how Baekho was going to break it to Ren that he didn’t love him, that he wanted to end something that had made Ren so extremely happy?

“Should I even do it?” Baekho asked sadly. “Should I just keep pretending?”

JR sighed. He could see that Baekho was suffering with this, and that Baekho had been depending on the leader for help. JR felt pressured all of the sudden as Baekho looked at him expectantly, as if JR held the answer to this complicated situation.

“No, you shouldn’t keep pretending,” JR said, “but don’t tell him just yet, okay? Until I think of something.”

Baekho nodded sadly.

“Thank you,” Baekho said to the leader, “and I’m sorry I brought this on you.”

JR smiled just to acknowledge Baekho’s gratitude, though he was hiding the raging anxiety inside of him. He needed to think of something, of a way to minimize the damage to Ren’s heart.

JR thought about it all through the night. He thought about whether Baekho should be the one to tell Ren, or whether he, as the leader, should break it to the maknae. He thought about how they should tell him, about how Ren would react, about how long it would take to recover … whether he would cry.

The thought of Ren shedding tears shriveled JR’s heart. He hated seeing his members cry, but especially Ren. No matter the tough façade Ren tries to put on, Ren was sensitive and easily broken.

There was no way around it. There was no easy way to do it. JR just had to tell him.

He didn’t want Baekho to do it. JR knew that Baekho would find the task dauntingly difficult, and that Baekho, with the immense kindness in his soul, would probably not be able to carry through with breaking Minki’s heart.

“I’ll tell him,” JR told Baekho the following morning, “I’ll tell him right now.”

It looked as if Baekho had started to tremble, but he nodded, “I’m sorry for putting you through this.”

JR took a deep breath and went into Ren’s room. Ren was in the room he shared with Baekho, putting on various skincare ointments. JR entered and closed the door behind him.

“Hi Ren,” JR said, trying to act normal.

“Leader walks in, closes the door behind him and awkwardly greets me,” Ren said, confidently turning to face JR, “I have a feeling I’m in for a serious talk.”

“You are,” JR said, “and it’s hard for me to say it…”

“Out with it,” Ren responded, as he finished rubbing his arms with the liquid.

JR took a deep breath and then reached out for Ren’s hands, “Baekho cares about you so much, you know that right?”

Ren narrowed his eyes, “of course he does, why would you even…”

“He’s trembling right now. He’s so afraid of how you’ll take it. He just didn’t want to live a lie with you anymore.”

“What are you saying?” Ren urged his voice cracking. JR could see the tears forming in the maknae’s eyes.

“He wants to break up with you…”

Ren froze.

“I’m so sorry, Rennie.”

After a few seconds, a tear strolled down Ren’s cheek, and Ren fell back, stumbling to sit on the edge of his bed.

JR took a seat beside him, rubbing Ren’s arm comfortingly.

“He told you this?” Ren asked after a silence.

“Yes, and he really hates himself for it.”

Ren nodded and quickly wiped away another falling tear, “thank you for telling me. You can leave now.”

“I can stay if you want.”

Ren shook his head and wiped more tears, “you said Baekho is worried, right? Tell him I’m okay.”

“Are you?” JR asked, concerned.

Ren nodded, but his trembling bottom lip told JR otherwise.

“Don’t tell him I’m crying okay?” Ren implored as he wiped the tears away, “I don’t want him to worry.”

JR looked sympathetically onto Ren. The maknae had just found out that Baekho didn’t love him the same way and all that Ren could do was concern himself over Baekho worrying. Ren obviously loved Baekho, and JR could see this even more now than before. Knowing this, JR could not imagine how Ren felt right now…

He put a supportive hand on Ren’s shoulders, and Ren suddenly couldn’t take it anymore. He buried his face in JR’s chest and cried. JR rubbed Ren’s moving shoulders, massaging his back and silently rocking him until he calmed down a bit. When he did, he pulled away and wiped his eyes again.

“Baekho will be worried if you take too long in here. Please go tell him that I’m okay,” Ren pled through his sniffles, “please. And don’t let him come in.”

JR didn’t want to leave him, but he didn’t want to refuse Ren’s sincere request either. He nodded towards Ren and made his way out of the room, careful not to open the door too wide.

Baekho immediately walked over to JR, “so?”

“He’s okay,” JR said, “he took it better than I thought he would,” JR lied.

Baekho seemed slightly relieved at that, but then his eyes fixated on JR’s shirt, wet with Ren’s tears. “He’s crying, isn’t he?” Baekho asked uneasily, “those are his tears on your shirt right?”

“He’s okay,” JR insisted, “you don’t have to worry about it Baekho.”

“Can I go see him??

“He wouldn’t want that,” JR said, “give him a moment.”

Baekho nodded. JR noticed how Baekho’s eyes had lost their luster; he looked so incredibly unhappy, so guilty for what he had done to Ren. It sucked how this situation put both of his friends in such a state.

“Am I shitty for not breaking up with him in person?” Baekho asked JR.

“I think he would not have preferred that,” JR responded, patting Baekho’s back comfortingly.

“JR, can I ask you one more favor?”

“Of course.”

“Can you stay with him? Just see that he’s okay, make sure he doesn’t hurt himself and you know... I would do it if I weren’t the one responsible for the pain he’s feeling right now,” Baekho said in desolation.

“Baekho please stop saying that. This isn’t your fault. It just wasn’t meant to be,” JR said, “and of course I’ll stay with him.”

JR had been planning to go back inside and see to it that Ren doesn’t beat himself up over the break-up too much, to make sure he ate and stayed hydrated, and to keep his mind off of it somehow. He didn’t really know how he was going to distract Ren from the hurt, but he knew he had to try.

He brought Ren a glass of water and helped him drink it. Ren was still crying, sitting in his bed, with his hands on his lap, tears strolling down his cheeks. JR wrapped his arms around him, “I’m so sorry Ren,” he said.

Ren didn’t pull away from JR’s embrace. He rather liked it, as it seemed, as he put his hand over JR’s shoulder.

“Thank you for being here,” Ren said softly.

JR didn’t respond, he just pulled his arms around the maknae tighter. Ren was in a vulnerable state, a state that he didn’t show very often, and in that state, JR knew that Ren would prefer to have someone around. It was usually Baekho, but this time, it just happened to be him.

When Ren pulled away after a few minutes, he grabbed a tissue and blew his running nose. It hurt JR to see Ren’s crying face. It hurt so much, that JR felt like he needed to do something to distract Ren… anything.

“Let’s play a game,” JR said quickly.

“What do you want to play?” Ren played along with his faltering voice followed by a bunch of sniffles.

“Uno?”

“I hate that game.”

“Monopoly?”

“I always lose.”

“All the more reason to play it,” JR joked, and to his surprise Ren smiled through his sniffles.

“What about we just talk?” Ren asked after that, laying down on his bed and getting under the blanket.

“Okay,” JR said, turning to face Ren, “what do you want to talk about?”

Ren shrugged.

“I’ll tell you a secret,” JR said. He did have a secret that he still hadn’t told Ren, something JR was extremely embarrassed about and hadn’t told anyone because he knew three of the members would tease him about it until he died. He hadn’t planned on telling Ren, but it was something that would make him laugh, and so it was worth revealing.

“What is it?” Ren asked, intrigued.

“Promise you won’t tell anyone?”

“Promise,” Ren responded.

“You know that rumor going around that my first kiss was with Aron? That rumor isn’t completely untrue…”

“What?”

“It wasn’t my first kiss, but my sixth one. Oh and yeah, I count my kisses.”

Ren continued laughing, and that’s when JR knew he made the right decision telling him. “How in the world did you guys end up kissing?”

“You were all asleep and I was watching an anime episode, when Aron came in, drunk as hell. He sat beside me and then he just kissed me passionately for like 5 seconds. When he pulled away, he just went to bed, and then he woke up the next day not remembering anything…”

“Hold up. Five seconds? So you didn’t stop him within those seconds at all?” Ren asked raising an eyebrow.

“I was too shocked to stop him,” JR claimed, “I didn’t enjoy it if that’s what you’re thinking!”

“Sure you didn’t,” Ren laughed.

JR didn’t say anything after that. If believing that JR enjoyed kissing Aron was what it took to make Ren smile, then so be it.

“My turn to tell you a secret,” Ren said after he finished laughing.

“You don’t have to…”

“Nah, I want to.”

“Okay then, I’m listening.”

“Before I started liking Baekho, I had the biggest possible crush on you,” Ren said, and JR’s eyes widened.

“Me?” JR asked, pointing at himself.

Ren nodded, “but I knew you were dead straight since the beginning and so I never pursued you. But then Baekho came along and…” Ren started tearing up at the thought of Baekho and JR quickly tried to change the subject.

“How could you like someone like me?” JR quickly asked.

Ren shrugged, “I don’t know, I just did.”

“Well, I’m flattered,” JR said.

“You’re not uncomfortable?”

JR shook his head, “of course not. Why would I be uncomfortable that someone I love very much used to have a crush on me?”

Ren smiled.

“Okay, it’s my turn to tell a secret,” JR said, “I sometimes watch hentai.”

“Literally everyone knew that,” Ren responded, “that does not count.”

“You know?” JR asked genuinely surprised.

“Next time you watch hentai, lower the volume of your headphones. We don’t need to hear all the wet sounds and moans.”

JR rubbed the back of his neck embarrassed.

“That doesn’t count as a secret, I want another one,” Ren demanded jokingly. It was nice to see that Ren was distracted for now. JR searched his head for a secret and couldn’t think of one on the spot.

“I don’t think I have anymore secrets.”

“Well that’s a bummer because I have like a bajillion more I’m prepared to tell you…”

“What about you dare me to do something instead?”

Ren grinned. JR had trouble deciding if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

“I dare you…” Ren sat upright and turned so that he was facing JR directly, “to kiss Aron again!” Ren said with a smile.

“Nope,”” JR shook his head immediately.

“Come on! Please! For me?” Ren said, pulling out his pouty face, “it’ll be so funny.”

“He’ll punch me!”

“Like I said, it’ll be so funny,” the maknae replied.

“Ren, please, anything but that,” JR responded, afraid that the maknae will coerce him into doing it somehow.

“Fine then, I’ll just drown in my sorrows again then,” Ren said, putting on a sad face. JR sighed. Yup, Ren was coercing him.

“You’re an evil maknae,” JR said, jokingly glaring at Ren, “using my protective instincts against me?”

Ren smirked again, “so you’ll do it?”

“If it’ll make you that happy…”

“It will!”

“Fine,” JR grunted, feeling obliged to do it when Ren was in such a state.

Ren smirked. JR frowned, through he was happy to see that Ren’s mind was more or less off of Baekho.

“Do you want me to go do it now?”

“No, wait until my red puffy face is back to normal so I can go and witness it without everyone interrogating me about why I was crying.”

“So you can’t cry anymore or else it’ll take longer for your face to go back to normal,” JR warned.

“I won’t,” Ren said with small smile, “thanks to you.”

“Well I’m glad my misfortune is bringing you so much joy,” JR said rolling his eyes.

They decided to pass the time until Ren’s face recovers watching a movie. That way, when Minhyun knocked the door asking what was wrong, they could just use the fact they were watching a movie as an excuse to not eat lunch.

After the movie was done, Ren’s face had more or less recovered. There were still bags under his eyes, but it was nothing some make-up couldn’t cover.

“Do I look like I’ve been crying?” Ren asked JR, turning to face him after applying some makeup.

“Nope, you look great,” JR told Ren, “beautiful as always.”

Ren blushed, but hid it quickly by saying, “let’s go see you kiss Aron.”

JR pouted remembering it, but he took a deep breath and walked out of the bedroom with Ren trailing behind.

Baekho, Minhyun and Aron had been sitting in the living room on their phones when JR and Ren made their way out. JR took a seat next to Aron with a deep breath, preparing himself for the embarrassing situation he was willing to put himself in for Ren.

Ren also took a deep breath, looking at the floor as he took a seat beside the ex-lover that he still loved. Baekho stared at him apologetically. When Ren finally lifted his eyes to make eye contact with Baekho, Baekho mouthed an ‘I’m sorry.’ Ren forced a smile and mouthed an ‘it’s okay.’

Baekho smiled and took Ren’s hand, squeezing it.

JR could see that Ren was about to burst into tears, and so he quickly turned towards Aron, mentally preparing himself for the kiss.

“Why do you have full face of make-up on?” Aron asked Ren before JR could get any closer.

Thankfully, that distracted Ren from his urge to cry and he quickly answered, “I just felt like wearing makeup,” Ren said quickly.

“Were you crying?” Minhyun asked with concern. Minhyun always had an eye for these things.

“The movie we were watching was kind of sad,” JR answered quickly for Ren, and Ren nodded.

Baekho looked downcast all of the sudden. He knew what was up, and JR could see that the guilt was eating him up.

JR couldn’t stand seeing his friends like this. He needed to lighten the mood a bit, and what better way to do it then by doing the dare.

“Aron-hyung,” JR called out, moving close to Aron so that he was right beside him.

“Yeah,” Aron turned his head to JR.

Now was his chance. All he had to do was move his face close to Aron’s and they’d be kissing. He gulped, but then froze.

How am I supposed to do this? Am I supposed to look at his lips? Ew no. But then how I am supposed to focus on where to put my lips? But if I look that’s way too romantic and wrong and nope not going to look at his lips. Am I supposed to tilt my head? But what if I miss his lips? What if he returns the kiss? How awkward would that be? What if he thinks I like him? That would be bad. If he returns it, would I have to continue it or pull away? What if I like it? Ew no. What if I freeze when my lips touch his like in those awkward kdrama kissing scenes? What if he vomits in my mouth? What if he hates me after it? What if I mess up and embarrass myself? Why am I so worked up about a kiss I don’t even want!?

JR hesitated for far too long, and Aron narrowed his eyes and waved his arms in front of JR’s eyes, “earth to JR.”

“I’m sorry,” JR said quickly, feeling embarrassed as he stood up and scurried into the bedroom. He just didn’t know how to do it. Ren hurried after him.

When Ren entered, he closed the door behind him.

“I’m sorry Ren. I just didn’t know how to do it,” JR said quickly explaining himself.

“It’s not that hard,” Ren told JR, taking a few steps closer. “Just make sure he looks at you,” Ren took JR’s hand.

JR curiously raised his head to look at Ren, “and then get close enough to kiss him,” Ren said, hesitating for a moment before swiftly bringing his lips to JR’s.

JR’s eyes widened at the contact, but let Ren have his way. When Ren moved his lips against JR’s, JR felt a fluttering in his own stomach that let him know that he enjoyed it.

When Ren pulled away, he blushed and turned away from JR, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

There was a moment of silence as JR touched his lips and reflected on the experience of Ren’s lips against his, and as Ren regretted it.

“Well,” JR said after the moment of silence, “you move fast!” JR joked.

“Sorry,” Ren apologized softly his back still to JR, “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Don’t be sorry, it was good practice,” JR said, “now I’ll have to do that with Aron.” JR paused and took a few steps closer to where Ren was, “unless of course, you don’t want me to anymore.”

“Why would…” Ren stopped mid-way through words when he felt JR’s hands around his waist and JR’s chin on his shoulder. “Are you trying to tell me something?” Ren asked with a slight stutter.

“I know you still love Baekho, and I know that kiss was just you being too caught up in the moment, but if you want me to help you move on from Baekho, I’m willing to be with you.”

“Do you like me?” Ren asked after a pause.

“Why else would I want to date you?”

“I think you just feel sorry for me.”

“I thought it was that way until you kissed me and I wanted more. I like you Ren, and I’m willing to make this work if you are.”

Ren turned and faced JR and smiled, “JR, I don’t know what I’ve ever done to deserve this.”

“Is that a yes?” JR asked.

“I don’t know how long it will take for me to forget about him, and right now it doesn’t seem like I ever will,” Ren responded honestly, “I’m afraid of letting this happen and then not ever getting over him. That would be a huge injustice to you…”

“I’m willing to take that risk,” JR responded with a small smile, happy that Ren isn’t completely rejecting the idea. He was excited at the prospect of being with Ren for some reason. This sudden surge of feelings he started having for the maknae after Ren had kissed him was not something he could ignore or hide.

“Okay,” Ren said after thinking for a moment, “let’s do this.”

JR let out a sigh of relief, before reaching out to caress Ren’s face. Ren looked slightly distressed.

“Don’t underestimate my ability to make you fall for me,” JR said as he closed the distance between them, this time unafraid of looking at the lips before taking them in his own.

There it was again: the fluttering in JR’s stomach and the adrenaline rush through his spine. When Ren returned the kiss, JR felt it more, and any doubt he had about starting this with Ren disappeared with every round.

When they pulled away, JR blushed, Ren blushed and they both ended up laughing.

“Now would it have been so hard if you did that with Aron?” Ren asked, putting his hands on his hips.

“Hell yeah. Aron’s lips aren’t nearly as kissable,” JR joked, making Ren blush.

After another awkward silence, JR asked, “do you want to tell Baekho about us? And the others?”

“Not yet, but soon,” Ren said, “when I’m over him.”

“Does that mean you will be over him soon?” JR asked, smiling at the implication of Ren’s words.

Ren didn’t answer, but JR smiled knowingly.

A/N: This is meant to be a response the JRen fic requested months ago lol. Sorry it took so long, and I hope you liked it! :)

#nu'est #jr #ren #baekho #jren #baekren #jron

34 notes · View notes