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wildrangers · 2 years ago

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The Moon & Her Sun // Josh Kiszka

Chapter One // The Fool

Josh Kiszka x fem! musician reader

Word Count: 3.5K

keep reading here :)

Hi y'all! This will be a multi-part, slow burn story so buckle up. Also, the titles will be very tarot-based but I am by no means an expert.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of anxiety, drinking (plz let me know if I missed any)

*18+ only, smut will happen later in the series*

“Please tell me you’re fucking with us” Sam said, eyes wide as all the boys leaned towards the phone he had on speaker.

“Sorry guys, I wish I was. Apparently, they’re having some real issues and are on the verge of breaking up. They’ve cancelled all their gigs for this summer, including opening for you” their manager replied, not exactly pleased himself at this change of plans.

“But we leave for tour in three weeks” Danny replied. “What are we going to do? We need an opener.”

“We’re working on it now, in the mean-time, you could always take in some shows around Nashville while you’re there to see if anyone sticks out to you. I swear, we will have this figured out by next week the latest.”

The boys mumbled their agreements and goodbyes before Sam disconnected the call. All they could do was stare at each other in shock. They hadn’t been able to tour in years because of COVID and they’d worked so hard to put together a good show, which of course started with the opening band.

“Fuck!” Jake yelled, running his hand through his hair just as Jita walked in.

“What’s going on? Why does everyone look like someone died? Please tell me no one died” Jita rambled as she looped her arm through Jake’s. They quickly filled her in and she chewed on her lip thoughtfully for a moment. “I mean, I obviously don’t know what they’re schedule is like for the summer but that band I’m really into, Rising Sirens, is playing tonight. I was dragging Jake along with me but it’s all general admission, I’m sure we could get three more tickets.”

They mulled it over, Josh turning to Jake, “Have you listened to them? What do you think?”

“I have, they definitely seem musically similar to our opener we just lost. It would really depend on their stage presence which we could all see tonight. It can’t hurt, right?” Jake argued, shrugging his shoulders. They all quickly agreed, Jita ordering the additional tickets before they went out for dinner.

Several hours later, Josh found himself waiting in line with his brothers and Jita, stomach queasy with anxiety. This tour meant a lot to him, to all of them, and he was hoping to the Universe this band fit the bill. With tour starting so soon, it would be hard to find anyone who wasn’t already booked up. Josh was pleased to see the crowd around him was buzzing with excitement, anxiously peeking their heads towards the doors every few moments. This was a popular venue but it seemed that most of the crowd was here for Rising Sirens, not just a night out.

As the doors finally opened, a few excited shouts sounded from the crowd and they were all quickly jostled inside. “Jesus, I haven’t actually been part of a crowd like this in ages” Jake mused beside him. As Josh turned to respond, he caught Jita excitedly jumping up and down as they took in the stage.

“Okay, the best spot is still open follow me” she commanded, dragging Jake by his hand, the rest of them following. They walked up a small set of stairs, settling in at a high-top bar table with a great view of the stage. Jake and Jita went to get drinks for everyone as the opening band began warming up.

“I have a good feeling about them with Jita being this stoked about being here” Danny said, taking in the crowd around them. Sam nodded, “Plus, this place is buzzing right now.”

The next hour or so was spent listening to Rising Siren’s opening act and having a few rounds of drinks. “I mean, if we get SUPER desperate, we could always steal their opener” Sam joked causing Jake to snort beside him.

“Stop it guys, they weren’t that bad” Danny defended, sending a glare towards the two boys. Just as Sam was about to retort, the lights dimmed and the room erupted. Josh liked to think he was on top of up-and-coming bands but judging by the volume and intensity of the crowd, he had clearly missed out on them.

The drums sounded first and the dark-skinned drummer’s form was illuminated from a light below, highlighting their buzzcut. More cheers erupted at the sight of them, only intensifying as a tan girl with multi-colored hair bounded onstage with her bass, adding to the drummer’s beat. The last instrumentalist to emerge was a tall, bronzed man who looked similar to the bassist, albeit without the dyed hair. A particularly loud squeal sounded from the crowd, making Josh chuckle quietly; he guessed this guy was the heartthrob of the group based on the wide-eyed audience members nearby.

As the music swelled, the microphone was lit by a spotlight but no one was there yet. The crowd roared seemingly desperate for the singer to arrive so the show could truly begin. The music suddenly cut, allowing a brief pause of total silence before a woman’s voice rang from offstage. Josh felt goosebumps pepper his skin as the woman wailed in the most beautiful, bluesy voice he had ever heard, the music quickly joining her again.

The crowd was absolutely feral, singing along with the woman who finally entered the spotlight, her long hair illuminated in the bright light. She donned a flowing lacy black dress, sparkly purple Doc Marten’s on her feet. Her neck, wrists, and fingers were covered in silver jewelry and her eyes seemed to glow as she took in the eager crowd before her.

“Holy shit” Josh mumbled without fully realizing he was speaking. He saw the others nod in agreement, unable to take their eyes off the stage. The next hour and a half passed in a blur, Josh’s eyes rarely straying from the lead singer’s form. She flew around the stage, dress billowing behind her, never once losing the melody or missing a note. Her voice was beautiful and she had great stage presence but more than that, he felt drawn to her like a magnet.

All of the band members were playful with each other onstage and it was clear to Josh that they’d known each other a long time based on their ease with one another. Their songs were a blend of classic and punk rock, the singer’s bluesy tone adding a richness to the melodies she sang. As they said their goodbye’s, before what Josh assumed would be a brief encore, he felt a hand on his forearm. Turning, he saw Jake who was beaming.

“I think it’s safe to say were sold on Rising Sirens?” he questioned his twin, hand clamped on his shoulder. Josh felt himself nodding, for once at a loss for words. Jake posed the same question to Danny and Sam who quickly agreed. “I know the venue’s manager so I’m going to head backstage and see if they can introduce us. I’ll call you once I talk to her.”

Josh nodded, his eyes quickly turning back to the stage when he heard the crowd begin cheering. There was no way he was going miss seeing that singer perform one last time tonight.

***

You collapsed on the couch backstage following the encore, greedily chugging down one of the water bottles left out in the dressing room.

“The crowd was on fucking fire tonight!” Carolina shouted in delight, placing her beloved bass beside her brother Caleb’s guitar. “Can you believe that shit?”

“It’s the hometown crowd, essentially, I would have been disappointed if they weren’t” Kimmy pointed out, drumming their sticks on the arm of the couch.

“Where the fuck is Caleb? He came back here for a second and then disappeared” Caroline moped, always eager to get her twin’s feedback on her performance. The two were polar opposites but thick as thieves. Carolina’s bright hair matched her loud, effervescent personality; she had yet to meet a person she hasn’t made her friend. Caleb, on the other hand, was serious and studious, insistent upon managing the band even though it doubled his workload.

“Maybe the venue management needed him? If they’re smart, they’ll book us again soon. We have those few festival dates but otherwise we’re open this summer while we work on the new album” Kimmy pointed out, dragging Carolina beside them and forcing a water bottle into her hands. Carolina pecked them on the cheek and began chugging the bottle’s contents.

You smiled at your friends but kept quiet, reflecting on the show. Your flamboyant stage presence was always a contrast to your real-life personality; you had long preferred to quietly observe, taking in what was going on around you. You were similar to Caleb in that way but hoped you weren’t quite as intense as him.

The door opened and Caleb entered, quickly closing it behind him despite the commotion outside. “What was that about?” you asked, curious. You were normally good at reading his moods but this one was particularly tricky.

“So, a band came to scope us out tonight to see if we would be willing to open for their summer tour” Caleb explained, leaning back on the door.

“What band?” Carolina asked, excitement gleaming in her eyes as she sat up.

“Before I share that detail, we need to decide if committing to three months of touring will be good for our writing process. I’m sure the record label won’t mind the additional exposure even if it pushes back the planned release date a little but it would still be a tight squeeze” he explained, ever the pragmatist.

“Really, that’s between you and Y/N. You two write the lyrics and flush out the basics and we go from there. We can do that part anywhere, right Carolina?” Kimmy asked and Carolina nodded her agreement.

You sat silently thinking over this mysterious proposal. Judging by Caleb’s reluctance to name the band, they must be significant enough that he didn’t want their name to sway our decision either way. Normally, you hunkered down with Caleb, spending weeks almost exclusively with each other while mapping out the framework of the album. But you’d be lying if you weren’t intrigued by the idea of writing while touring, allowing the energy and inspiration from each night’s show to propel the album’s writing process.

“I think we should do it with two exceptions. One, obviously, if any of us totally hate the band it’s a no. Two, we only agree if there are enough off days where we could hunker down either in a hotel or bus.”

Caleb nodded at your answer, taking it in alongside whatever was flying through his own mind. A moment later he whispered, “It’s Greta Van Fleet.”

“No fucking way! I swear to God, if you’re playing some kind of sick prank on us, I will end you” Carolina shrieked, eyes wide. You turned towards her, only to see Kimmy’s excitement mirroring her own.

“I’m sorry, who?” you questioned.

“Greta Van Fleet, they’re the band Carolina and Kimmy are obsessed with. If you heard them, you’d recognize them” Caleb explained and you nodded.

“Oh my god guys, please, let’s make this work somehow. They’re incredible” Kimmy exclaimed, looking between the two of you.

“Tell them you’ll meet with their management, we have to make sure we have time to write or this just won’t work” you argued, Carolina and Kimmy groaning but reluctantly agreeing. As Caleb snuck back outside, you briefly met a curly-haired boy’s golden eyes. You fought back laughter as Kimmy and Carolina collectively lost their shit about this new development. Awhile later, Caleb returned, leaving the door open behind him revealing a now empty hallway.

“Well?!” Carolina exclaimed. “They understood our requirements and I have a call scheduled with their manager tomorrow morning. No matter what though, they’re going to send over four tickets for us to see them tomorrow” Caleb replied, bracing himself as his twin and Kimmy began screaming and jumping up and down.

“Okay, new rule you two: absolutely NO dating any of them if we end up touring, alright? Keep the fangirling to a minimum or they’ll change their mind” you teased. Carolina stuck her tongue out as Kimmy flipped you off, everyone laughing as you continued to unwind from the show.

***

The following day, Caleb reported the meeting went well and could expect the contract tomorrow morning. As you got ready for the show, Carolina blasted their music from her phone and it was, in fact, familiar. You were intrigued if the singer could actually hit some of those notes live. You felt your mind wandering as you added some glitter onto your lids atop the dark, smudged eyeliner.

You took a step back to look at your entire outfit, taking in the dark hues and flowing silhouette. Carolina, on the other hand, was wearing neon and pastels. You smiled at your best friend’s bright appearance and obvious eagerness to get going. People always marveled at you both, seeing as you tended towards darkness while Carolina radiated light. Some were confused by the contrast but it had always worked for the two of you.

“Kimmy just pick a pair of Vans already! We got to get going” Carolina sighed in exasperation, causing Kimmy to roll their eyes towards you as they grabbed the nearest pair that matched their bright jeans and leather jacket. Caleb was surely waiting downstairs already, dressed in his usual basics: dark bomber jacket, tight jeans. The group’s contrasting styles were always a topic of conversation at any photoshoot, the stylist faced with the impossible task of pleasing everyone.

Carolina quickly forced everyone down the stairs and out, Caleb already complaining we had all taken too long and would be late, which was unprofessional. You rolled your eyes as you buckled your seat belt, tuning out the twins’ bickering as Kimmy showed you a funny video on their phone.

Once you arrived at the venue, you were surprised when security immediately escorted your group to a reserved section, just to the side of the stage. The area was clearly used for friends and family but only one woman was there, smile bright on her face.

“Hi! I’m Jita, Jake’s girlfriend. I just wanted to say I’m absolutely obsessed with your music, I’m so glad it seems like this tour will work out.”

“Oh my God, stop, you’re so sweet!” Carolina beamed, folding her into a tight embrace. The rest of you quickly introduced yourselves and hugged her, excluding Caleb who gave her a simple nod.

"Ignore him, he’s grumpy” you heard Carolina tease as you made your way to sit beside him.

“You know, I could argue being rude to Jita is wildly unprofessional, maybe even more so than being late which we weren’t anyway” you teased, smirking. He rolled his eyes before responding, “I wasn’t rude, I just don’t feel the need to grab people like the rest of you do.”

“If you say so” you joked, drawing out the o at the end. “But seriously, are you okay with all of this? I know it’s a departure from our normal process.”

He shrugged, thinking it over before responding, “As an artist, I’m concerned but as the manager, I’m excited. I mean this is huge exposure for us, we just can’t pass it up. The label was over the moon when I told them how this opportunity fell into our laps.”

Before you could respond, the lights dimmed and the crowd cheered. You assumed they had no opener and knew the crowd would go wild when they realized they were jumping right into Greta Van Fleet’s performance. You clapped Caleb on the back before joining the others by the railing, wanting to take in the show as much as you possibly could.

As everyone made their way onto the stage, your eyes were instantly drawn to the curly-haired man you’d accidentally made eye contact with the night before. Despite his smaller stature, his voice was absolutely operatic, booming forth with precision and passion all while he ran about the stage, almost seeming to bother his bandmates while they played their various solos. You loved his jumpsuit and how he strutted around; it brought to mind other rock stars like Freddie Mercury or Mick Jagger.

Their set passed quickly and by its conclusion you were thrilled you’d somehow lucked out into opening for them. Carolina’s and Kimmy’s voices were hoarse from their screaming as they happily discussed their favorite parts of the show. As your group finally followed Jita backstage, you felt your stomach erupt with butterflies. Not only were you now a fan of their music but you worried you wouldn’t live up to their expectations. People almost always commented on how different you were offstage versus on and you were dreading that conversation, which always made you feel vulnerable and awkward.

Luckily, the guys were still buzzing with excitement from the show and introductions happened quickly and easily. They ordered a bunch of drinks for everyone and you found yourself sitting beside Danny, which you quickly became grateful for. Unlike the others, he seemed quieter and less intense which put you more at ease.

“No way! You guys are twins too?!” Josh laughed pointing between a very unamused looking Caleb and a giddy Carolina.

“Yes way! Isn’t that funny? Two sets of twins on tour” she laughed.

“Oh my god, we totally need to rename the tour that now” Jake joked, making everyone laugh.

“Is he always so serious?” Danny asked beside you and you chuckled before turning to face him.

“What do you mean? He’s barely containing himself right now” you grinned and Danny threw his head back in laughter. “But yeah, he’s been this way since we were kids if you can believe it. Carolina and I have been friends since kindergarten and I seriously thought he hated me until we were like 12.”

“That’s understandable if his face always looks so angry” Sam joined in from the other side of Danny and you giggled, nodding. You always felt more comfortable in pairs or small groups, rather than a large party or everyone talking at once. As the evening progressed, everyone began talking over one another, so you quietly excused yourself to head out to the bar for one last drink.

***

Josh felt frustrated as he watched you sneak out of the room. He had watched you chatting with Sammy and Daniel, but whenever he tried pulling you into the larger conversation, you’d shut down. He felt someone nudge him and he turned to see a smirking Jake. “What do you want?” Josh frowned, always a little worried when Jake seemed amused with himself.

“If you want to talk to Y/N, just go do it.”

“I don’t know what you mean” Josh lied and Jake gave him a pointed look.

“You have literally been staring at her all night and you deflate like a balloon every time she doesn’t laugh at your jokes. It’s pathetic, man” Jake goaded him. Josh not-so-playfully nudged his twin as he downed his drink, making his way out to where he thought the bar was. He was surprised to see you had settled on a bar stool by yourself rather than returning to the dressing room.

“Mind if I join you?” he asked and felt his heart flutter as your bright eyes met his.

“Of course not, I just needed a break from the huge crowd” you admitted as Josh sat beside you.

Josh ordered another cocktail and grinned at you, “I’m surprised you’re not a social butterfly. I was kind of expecting you to be after the show you put on last night.”

He quickly wanted to kick himself as he saw you fail to hide your cringe. “Yeah, that’s the general feedback if people meet me after seeing me perform—always a bit of letdown.”

The bartender set down his drink but Josh ignored it, instead replying, “Who said it was a letdown? I was just jealous Daniel and Sammy got to hang out with you all night.”

He watched as you continued avoiding his eyes, “Well, here I am!” you joked lightly.

“Well first of all, obviously, how did you learn to sing like that?” he complimented, taking a sip of his drink. At this comment, your whole face lit up as you delved into all of your vocal training before talking about your songwriting process. Josh added comments here and there but you were so clearly passionate about your work that he didn’t want to interrupt.

“I’m sorry, I’m just rambling now” you laughed, your eyes finally steadily meeting his own.

“I could listen to you talk all night if I’m being honest” he said, pleased with himself when you nervously cut your gaze away at his flirtation. Before he could think of something to add, music blasted from down the hallway causing you to giggle. “Why are you laughing at them playing ‘You’re Still the One’? That song is a classic.” Josh asked.

“I’m laughing because whenever they want me back in the dressing room or studio after I’ve wondered off, they take turns playing my favorite songs to speed up my return” you explained and he laughed.

“Well, at least you have good taste. Should we go back then?” he asked and you quickly shook your head.

“They’ll cut the song if I go right now, I want to listen” you admitted, smiling up at him.

“I’ve always wanted to cover this song” Josh mused to himself and you quickly agreed. As the final verse began, Josh found himself saying, “Well, maybe we should sing it together on tour then.”

keep reading here!

A/N: This is my first GVF fic so I hope y'all enjoy this, I'm always open to hearing feedback :) If you liked it, please reblog, it really helps! Also, let me know if you want me to write for more of the boys.

#greta van fleet #gvf #josh gvf #jake gvf #sam gvf #danny gvf #jake kiszka #sam kiszka #danny wagner #josh kiszka #josh kiszka imagine #josh kiszka fic #josh kiszka blurb #greta van fleet imagine #greta van fleet x reader #josh kiszka x reader #moon and her sun series

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lunarfolds · 2 years ago

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dossier / connections / pinterest / threads

i wish i could relay just how excited i am for this group OERIEOE i’m an avid player of stardew valley and i always really loved how different each character in the game is and how they all cohabitate with one another, it’s EXCELLENT and i think it makes for such a nice rp environment ^.^ anyway, spiel over, i am goofy (i watched a goofy movie before i sent my reserve pls forgive me) and i bring to you my gentle ball of chaos, park minsi! i’m sorry if this feels disjointed or rushed at all, as i made a ton of last minute changes 💀 anyway, she’s a chef at her family’s bed & breakfast and an avid surfer, which can be an issue since something she finds so fun and distracting is so close to where she works~ i also have a few pages for her linked above, and if you’re interested in plotting or chatting, just like this post and i’ll come and say hello! also, don’t be scared to ask for my discord if you prefer ^.^

APPLICATION

❃ ↷ ˊ- pelican town is all abuzz about PARK MINSI, our resident 23-year old CHEF AT EUNHASU BED & BREAKFAST. you know, the one who looks like SON CHAEYOUNG? i don’t see it, but maybe that’s just because they remind me of THE CRUNCH OF LOCALLY SOURCED VEGETABLES AS THEY’RE BEING SLICED BY A STEADY HAND, T-SHIRTS THAT SMELL MORE LIKE SURBOARD WAX THAN PERSON and WILDFLOWERS TUCKED BEHIND A HEAVILY PIERCED EAR every time i see them at THE BEACH. word around town is that they’re increasingly SOFT-SPOKEN and GREGARIOUS, but can get rather UNPREDICTABLE. hope to see them around the valley soon!

HISTORY

minsi originally hails from busan; the daughter of a traveling musician father and a hotel manager mother.

she has both an older sister and a younger brother, so she was always surrounded by lots of love on all sides growing up.

with two fairly successful parents, the children were extremely well taken care of. there was really no dysfunction to be had among them. minsi’s mother and father were deeply in love and treated their children with a lot of encouragement, support and affection. minsi got along really well with her siblings and, while there was of course the occasional disagreement, theirs was a peaceful home for the most part.

one of minsi’s favorite things to do was help out in the kitchen whenever someone was cooking food. she’d shadow them, getting out ingredients for them and watching with great interest as they prepared each thing individually, before bringing it all together for a complete meal. cooking was a fast fascination for her.

living so close to the water, the doe eyed girl also loved going to the beach whenever she could annoy her mother into taking her.

she’d build sandcastles and watch the waves roll in a few feet away, feeling utterly at peace with the world. lobbed up with sunscreen, she’d bounce around in her water wings, trying to get into further depths before her mother would tug her back closer to shore. she would cry when they all had to leave, making her mother give her a good ten minutes to say goodbye to her favorite seashells before they left.

there was a beginner’s surfing class being taught one summer at her favorite beach, and after begging her mother for a good week to let her take it, the woman finally agreed. she loved coasting over the small waves, even if it was a struggle to balance. each time she’d successfully stay up, she’d feel this pleasant feeling in her stomach that made it feel like she was floating; like she could have tasted the sunshine.

the only real thing that always bothered minsi was when her father had to go back on the road to play music. she loved to see him play, but because she and her siblings had school, she was unable to ever really tag along with him. there would be months-long absences between getting to see him, and it took its toll in its own way.

her requests to go to the beach would become less and less frequent, and she would completely lose interest in helping anyone cook, even when prompted.

thankfully, when minsi was twelve years old, her father reached something of an impasse. he knew that if he continued to work and travel as a musician, he would miss out on a lot more moments with his family; especially seeing his children grow up. he was ready to make a choice.

minsi’s parents had always had a lifelong dream to open up a bed & breakfast by the sea, and they were beginning to think it may have been time to invest in the idea. busan was full of similar business ideas, so they wanted to open up shop somewhere there’d be a gap in the market.

after doing some research, the two settled on the beach in stardew valley as the site of their business. a gorgeous structure was erected a few yards back from the shoreline, with distinctive blue paneling that made it look like a natural part of the scenery.

while minsi’s parents went to work setting up for the opening of their bed & breakfast, the children settled in at school in the idyllic town, finding comfort among the quaint surroundings and the more consistent presence of their father.

as minsi grew into her teen years, she did have a tiny rebellious streak. she didn’t become super bratty or anything, but she did obtain a couple of tattoos with a fake signature from her parents when she was 16.

her parents were half furious and half confused. none of their children had ever really stepped out of line in this way, so they didn’t know what to do in the situation. they grounded her, but they also discussed the decision with her. she said that she felt like it was her choice to make, and if it was something she wanted on her body, it wasn’t really anyone else’s business. they kind of found that logic hard to argue with.

while they weren’t crazy about it, they started giving her genuine permission to get inked, mostly because they knew she would just do it anyway.

she was able to cook more than ever, too, becoming the unofficial chef’s assistant in the b&b’s kitchen on the weekends when she didn’t have school to attend. it was just the taste of the culinary profession she needed to push her into obtaining the official training.

when she graduated from high school, minsi decided to attend a two-year culinary academy so that she could receive her official certification. it was difficult being away from the place that had come to feel the most like home to her, not to mention her family and friends, but all the homesickness was forgotten when she finally came back to town.

she’s become the official chef of eunhasu, and was able to set up her own menu using produce from local farms and fresh seafood from the nearby ocean. said menu is her absolute pride & joy!

she’s still obsessed with surfing too, and it’s not uncommon to find her riding one out while still on the clock. ( hey, breaks are a thing and the ocean is literally right there :c ) but considering that food can be ordered any time of the day at the bed & breakfast, she has a device that buzzes her when she needs to get back on the double~

PERSONALITY

minsi is a really sweet, caring and well-rounded person in all honesty. she doesn’t like to raise her voice or argue, and she will basically withdraw inside herself like a turtle if you try that with her. but at the same time, she kinda does what she wants ? like if she knows she wants something and that it’s important to her, she’s gonna roll with it. she doesn’t like confrontation though, so she’ll likely just sidestep it to do The Thing sneakily.

in friendship, minsi is supportive, loyal and affectionate. if you’re there for her, she will always be there for you in return. she loves to make sure everyone is fed and might even pop in unexpectedly with a picnic basket of goodies ! she’d be the type to invite friends to stay at her apartment with her every night like a little mini party with drinks and movies and snacks, too !

in love, minsi is reeeeeeally shy. she has a hard time being direct about her feelings, even though deep down she’s a true romantic. she’d likely do a lot of small gestures in secret so that you feel appreciated, even if you don’t know she’s responsible for it. she has multiple love languages, but acts of service is where she really shines !

all in all, she’s a sporty, yet soft capricorn who’s willing to both ride and die

#stardewtm:intro #haha i'm so bad at these even in the best of circumstances but eyyyy #let's plot!

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crimsonophelia · 3 years ago

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Can I request for a fluffy friends to lovers fic with Venti and a human gn reader? They’re good friends (but the reader doesn’t know his real identity) and when reader brings up their desire to see a wind wisp in real life Venti decides to surprise them by transforming into his true form and paying them a visit. The reader finds this mysterious little wind wisp at their doorstep and gets excited, takes care of it, and while feeding it apple slices starts talking about how their good friend Venti would love to see them - but oh, he’s less of a friend and more of a crush who I’ve loved for a long time… wait, where did the wisp go? Wait, Venti?! When did you get here?!

featuring: venti x gn!reader

warnings: none

published: june 30, 2021

form: imagine

a/n: thank you for sending this in—i need more venti requests, he’s my baby <3

you could tell that the drink was beginning to hit you hard when you felt your muscles go slack. it was your fourth pint of the night, and although you thought that you could hold your drink fairly well, you could never hold a candle to your bard friend’s seemingly bottomless appetite for wine. venti was on his seventh--or was it eighth?--mug of cider for the night, and was still fairly unfazed, if you consider his usual bumbling amiability to be his default. after a long day of working and whatever it was that venti did in the daytime, you two had decided to meet up at the angel’s share that evening for a drinking night between friends, and to catch up on life and whatever else goes on in the city of mondstadt.

the night had begun with a mug per person, as you and venti caught up with each other. due to your duties at home, and his rather inconstant job as a traveling musician, it was oftentimes difficult for you and the bard to stay in touch--responsibilities always seemed to get in the way. so, naturally, you took advantage of every opportunity you could get to see venti, one-on-one, and simply talk. after knowing him for quite a while, he really was a delight to talk to, always full of witty riddles and forever knowing the right thing to say at the right time. venti really was quite remarkable.

he also had the unique talent of contagious alcoholism; after having spent an hour or so drinking and chatting with him, you unwittingly started drinking more than your usual limit, absolutely carried away with whatever small conversation venti had you engaged with at the moment. the conversation had somehow strayed into the topic of myths and legends of mondstadt. venti was speaking of some strange conspiracies surrounding the origin of the anemo hypostasis up in the mountains, and as the alcohol began to break down your proper judgement, you began to go on and on about how you, as a child, dreamed of seeing an elusive wind wisp.

you had heard stories about the boy revolutionary, armed with his bow and his words, accompanied by a little white wind wisp, leading mondstadt’s journey to freedom. the story had enchanted you when you were young, and clearly you still had not given up hope of meeting a similar wind wisp. perhaps it would bring you the same joy and power to change your life for the better, just like it did for the hero of old mondstadt.

venti listened to your reminiscing closely, looking at you with a quizzical look of interest. your intoxicated state made it so that you didn’t notice the look on his face as if he was plotting something, but, to be fair, venti’s poker face was notable for its impregnability. the night ended with him having to walk you home, propping your arm over his shoulders so that you wouldn’t trip and fall on the cobblestone streets. the last thing you remembered was him tucking you into bed, and singing you one of his funny little songs.

the next morning, you woke with a pounding headache and the bright noon sun peeking through your shutters. archons, was it so late already? you pulled yourself out of bed, trying not to stumble, distracted by the pounding in your head. you had a long list of things to do today that you had to complete, and you severely regretted drinking so much and so late with that damned bard last night (though you could never really hate him--he was too adorable).

slipping on whatever clothing closest to your bed and sluggishly following through with your daily morning routine, you got ready to head out the door to water the carrots and potatoes in your backyard. as you pulled open the door, prepared to step out and face the piercing daylight, you caught yourself as you almost stepped on the little figure at your doorstep. lying there on its side, was a wind wisp. yes, just like the ones you had read about all your childhood and you had mused about endlessly last night. it had its little eyes shut, sleeping probably, its delicate little form curled up on the step.

you were bewildered, partially at the coincidence of it all, but mostly by the rarity of what had occurred before your eyes. a wind wisp, something most people never even saw once in their lifetimes, suddenly showing up right at your doorstep after you had talked about your desire to meet one just the night before. crouching down, you scooped up its little body in your hands. the little thing began to wake, hands rubbing its eyes sleepily, as it made a chirping noise. it was ridiculously adorable.

“hey there, little guy”, you cooed. “what are you doing here?”

as it began to regain consciousness, the wisp floated up off your hands, small gusts of air emitting from its form, and it flew up to nuzzle against your face. it felt like a warm breeze brushing against your cheek, and you heard it chirping in your ear.

you giggled. “well aren’t you the cutest little thing!” you raised your hand to pet it, and it made a little gurgling noise, leaning into your touch. something about its mannerisms felt so familiar, almost like something you had known in a past life perhaps, but you couldn’t put a finger on it. its presence was just endlessly comforting, even though you had only known it for a few minutes.

reaching into your pantry, you pulled out some apples you had picked the day before, and cut it into small slices. the wisp watched you eagerly as you went about your business, like it could understand everything you did. holding up a thin slice to the wisp, a little hole in its void of a face opened up and enveloped the slice whole. a little shocked but certainly entertained, you gave it an approving head pat.

as the day went on, the little wisp continued to follow you throughout mondstadt as you ran your errands. you went outside, behind your house, to take care of the crops you were growing. as you watered your plants, the little wisp helped you disperse the water more efficiently, blowing a gentle wind from your watering can so that you didn’t have to walk as far to water the faraway plants. you go to pick some apples and sunsettias nearby, and the little fellow would fly up to the hard-to-reach fruits and throw himself against them to knock them loose from the branches, right where you could catch them. you worried a little bit whether he was hurting himself by doing so, but he appeared to be pleased just to assist you, and he certainly was not ashamed to take a few bites from the fruits of your shared labor at the end of the day.

considering how efficiently your errands were completed today, of course all thanks to the helper you acquired that morning, you thought it would be nice to use the time you had in the late afternoon to take the wisp out for a picnic dinner at windrise to show your appreciation. gathering some of the fruit the both of you had collected, and some sandwiches you made, you placed it all in a little wicker basket and set off for the great tree with your companion upon your shoulder.

upon arriving, you laid down a gingham blanket in the shade of the great tree of windrise, just a moments away from the ancient statue of barbatos. you felt like a child again, remembering the summers of carefree exploration, tunneling through the thickets in the forest, or catching frogs by the creek, or tumbling down the hills by the sea. and now, a wisp joined you, taking you back to the memories of those years, when life was much simpler.

you couldn’t help but to think of venti, the bard, the friend, who had brought you such comfort through difficult times, whose music, like the warm touch of the wisp, reminded you of home and the beauty that life could bring. your companion was now feasting comedically fast on the food you had brought along, swallowing up fruits whole, and chewing for several moments before helping itself to another. you chuckled and gave it a pat. “greedy little fellow, aren’t you?” you couldnt help but to think venti would have loved to meet the wind wisp, considering his love for nature and all sorts of fauna, and considering the small resemblance between himself and the creature.

“stick around for a bit and i might introduce you to my friend, the bard”, you told it, not really caring that it probably couldn’t understand you. “im actually not sure that we are friends, to be honest. these days we rarely see each other but...” you trailed off, distracted by the sound of the breeze through the branches. the wisp stopped eating and watched you intently. “well”, you began. “i sometimes find myself wishing him and i were more than friends. maybe not lovers, not right away but... i just know that dearly. i cannot be sure that he feels the same, but that is of no matter.” you pat the wisp’s little head again. “if i can make him happy, even just as friends, that is enough for me.”

out of nowhere, a strong wind blew past you, knocking over your wicker basket and sending it flying several feet away. agitated, you scrambled up to chase after it, finally grasping it before it could fly too far. you were perplexed—where in the world could such a strong wind have come from? the sky was clear, and there were no clouds obstructing the setting sun. how odd, you thought to yourself.

you turned around to bring the basket back to your sitting spot, but to your surprise, the wisp was gone. no, in its place was now your bard friend, venti, sitting there on the blanket like he had been there all along. how in the world did he get here without you noticing, and where in the world did the wisp go off to? you hurried over to venti, questioning, “since when did you get here?”

the bard smirked, and fiddled with his lyre that you just noticed he had brought along with him. he had that look on his face again, the one he wore whenever he had some sort of plot in mind. “whatever do you mean, [y/n]?”, he replied amusedly. “i’ve been here all along.”

#genshin impact #genshin headcanons #genshin impact x reader #genshin imagines #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin x reader #venti #venti x reader #venti headcanons #venti imagines #venti fanfic #venti x y/n #venti x you #fluff #venti fluff

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d-criss-news · 3 years ago

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Nine Songs: Darren Criss

When Disney, Phantom Planet and Mr Hudson collide: Glee star, Emmy and Golden Globe winner and musician Darren Criss talks Andrew Wright through the pivotal songs in his life and the unexpected ways they found him.

“When we are younger, our gateway drugs to a lot of popular things don’t come from the sexiest of places. It’s up to you how proactive you want to be with your curiosity from there, and how far down the rabbit hole you want to go, if you go down at all.”

Choosing the songs that define you is a tricky business to say the least, especially when the power of song has provided an ongoing soundtrack to your life. “When you’re as avid a music consumer as musical artists are, trying to pin down Nine Songs is difficult,” Darren Criss laughs. So much so, his final choices only really crystallise as our conversation draws to its close. “It’s hard for me not to see the value and joy in literally everything,” he explains. “The curse of the creative person is that your ideas and your interests always move way faster than your body can execute.”

Criss is a creative par excellence. As well as his Emmy and Golden Globe winning performance in The Assassination of Gianni Versace, where he played serial killer Andrew Cunanan, to his upcoming role in Muppets Haunted Mansion Halloween special as The Caretaker, he’s also a prolific musician. Criss enjoyed a decadent musical consumption since childhood, so “this was a bit of an archaeological dig,” he admits. As such, everything from jazz standards, to 808s, punk rock, ‘90s teen pop, and musical numbers are excavated in the course of our extemporaneous journey through the music he loves.

Equally on his mind is how to go about approaching the task of creating his Nine Songs, full stop. “The interesting social experiment is: Are my answers going to be songs that actually shaped my life and were formative to me as an artist? Are they songs that were formative to me as a human being? Or am I picking songs that I think represent who I am to people that do not know me? All three of those things aren’t necessarily the same thing.”

He reaches a conclusion of sorts. “For the purposes of making some kind of decision, I’m gonna lean less into trying to look cool to your very cool readership, and more into the literal, ‘What made me think about music in a different way? And hit me in a very emotional way?’ I think that’s probably the healthiest route.”

Embracing the accessibility that characterises Criss’ picks - or at times the initial touchpoints that led him to them - are something he vacillates over during our chat. “I’ve seen a lot of other people’s Nine Songs and they’re super cool. It’s like Leonard Cohen B-sides and old opera records and stuff. I’m gonna be pretty honest with the pop culture zeitgeist of how I grew up but explain why there is so much value in those moments.” His contemplation continues into the next day, Criss’s publicist passes on his regrets at being tentative to admit how he encountered one of his song choices via the Shrek soundtrack.

A yearning to reinterpret accessibility and the value attached to it drives Criss, however. He tells me that a festival performance that applied the anarchic verve of punk rock to a more refined Great American Songbook number remoulded his perception of music entirely. His love of the fusion of these two genres in particular symbolises the salient musical backdrops of his childhood - the guitar bands he played in with friends, and his musical theatre endeavours that led him to Broadway and multiple Ryan Murphy juggernauts, including his breakthrough playing Blaine Anderson in Glee.

Criss employs these contrasting musical lexicons, and other areas in between, on Masquerade, his new EP. Comprising five stand-alone “character-driven” singles, it sees Criss donning different musical personas. “I’m leaning into people that might know me as an actor,” he explains. “Because if actors can do Shakespeare, romantic comedy, and then do a horror movie and wear a prosthetic nose and a wig, I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just do that with music.” The song “walk of shame” draws on jazz-standard chords interlaced with hip-hop production, “i can’t dance” looks to new-wave, and “for a night like this” is the product of Criss’ goal to create the ultimate end-of-the-night crowd-pleaser for a new-year bash, wedding or bar mitzvah. “This is all of the parts of me as a lifelong fan of these genres, trying my hand at servicing the pieces of them that I love.”

“I really love all styles of music and understanding what makes them unique and special and what makes them really pop. There are so many things that really make things sing - for lack of a better verb - and I like acknowledging those things and celebrating those things.”

“So, let’s begin. I have runners up and shit, and I have artists, I don’t just have the songs, so we might have to pick them as we go.”

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“Part of Your World” by Jodi Benson

“When people read this, they’ll go ‘That’s cute, he likes Disney songs’, but it’s more profound than that. Some of the most formative pieces of music to hit me at a very early age would have been any of the songs that were coming from ‘The Disney renaissance.’ The early-mid ‘90s explosion of The Little Mermaid, Aladdin and Beauty and The Beast.

"One of the through lines between the three of those musicals was Howard Ashman, who is one of my all-time heroes. Dramaturg, songwriter - he really was the voice behind what made those songs great. I have always loved Howard’s lyrical sensibility and also Alan Menken, his partner who wrote these songs with him. There was a musical structure to a lot of the songs which I would unconsciously pick up in my own songwriting, not just musically, but the idea that not only did somebody make these songs, but they wrote them for a story.

“There’s a clip of Howard Ashman vocal directing Jodi Benson, who was the original voice of Ariel. It’s a wonderful example of his genius, where not only was he songwriting but he was storytelling in the way he would tell her how to perform it, and you can really see the song coming to life in that clip. That’s when you cross the street from ‘It’s a song’ to ‘This is an experience.’

"There are certain ingredients that are required to elevate music that goes beyond just a nice melody, a beautiful orchestration and a good voice. There are things that are required to really give a performance a characterisation, context and a vulnerability, that he architects in real-time with Jodi Benson. You see that what he’s doing is what makes the record so special, and that’s something that’s always been inspiring to me.”

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“MMMBop” by Hanson

“I think my love of Hanson was because some people didn’t like it, so I was like ‘Fuck you, I like this, how do you feel about it?’ But this is difficult for me, because you know, I’m speaking to The Line of Best Fit and we’re trying to be cool! Although, do you know what’s cool? Being accessible! Writing a pop hit when you are 10 years old. Being in a band with your brothers and you’re all below the age of 15, you have a record contract where you are writing, producing and performing songs that are doing well.

“I was 10 years old when their first album Middle of Nowhere came out, and I remember reading somewhere that there were these kids that had a record. At the time, I was playing guitar and I was writing songs, but in my mind I was a kid, and that was it. I couldn’t be on the radio; you had to be a grown up to do this.

"This was the first time where I realised ‘Holy shit, kids can do stuff!’ It’s the value of seeing yourself in the media - that’s a whole other conversation to talk about - but there’s an immense value in feeling like there’s a piece of you out in the zeitgeist and doing well because it’s encouraging. You go, ‘Holy shit, maybe I can do this as well.'

“When you see children doing things, you’re ‘Wow, this is so cute and fabulous’, but then when you actually look at it you go, ‘This is miles above what most people in this age group are capable of,’ and that’s all I saw, because I was in the same age group and I was so inspired by that. This whole album was really a turning point for me, where I was like, ‘I can do this, I can do music too, because these guys can.'

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“Ooh La La” by Faces

“This song really blew my mind. It became my own theme. It’s that ‘Make your heart sing’, nostalgic moment when you’re a teenager, driving in the car listening to it, playing guitar with your friends and you’re singing “I wish that I knew what I know now / When I was younger.” You’re like, ‘because I’m an adult now, I’m 15-years-old. If I only knew what I know now.’

“I was doing theatre from a young age and I was part of a young conservatory called A.C.T. in San Francisco. By way of somebody who knew somebody, I had an audition for a movie. As a kid not being near New York or Los Angeles it was really exciting, and this audition was for a film called ‘Max Fischer’, which would become the movie Rushmore, which would become one of my favourite movies of all time by the now very distinguished Wes Anderson.

“Separate from my own objective love of Wes Anderson, when this movie came out I was just around the age of getting into my own sort of identity with music, but also movies - indie movies - and trying to assert who I was. So, I see this movie Rushmore and I love it. I love the soundtrack, I love it so much, it’s one of my favourite albums ever. This song is the end sequence, and the way it made me feel - the vocals on it, I could play it on guitar and it was part of a cool movie - it really represented a lot in my life.

“And because of the acting thing, and Rushmore being great - it’s about this kid in high-school who's misunderstood but has his own agenda - everything about it was just so fucking cool to me. To this day, I cite that song as one of my favourite records of all time.”

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“Recently Distressed” by Phantom Planet

“A guy that really formed the way I would sing and write songs is Alex Greenwald, the frontman of Phantom Planet. I went to see Phantom Planet because I loved Rushmore and I found out that Jason Schwartzman [who had been cast as Max Fischer] was also the drummer for a band called Phantom Planet.

"So, when I saw their name on the bill I went, but I didn't know their music. I was barely 14, but their set blew my mind. It was Rock and Roll, but I loved Alex Greenwald’s voice. I loved everything, and I would follow their career from there. I always tell people that my voice is a combination of me trying to be Alex Greenwald, Paul McCartney and Rufus Wainwright, but failing. Alex was incredibly formative for me.

“One of their biggest records was a little while after I first saw them, which was the song for The O.C., "California." That was more of an Elvis Costello thing, and they employed a lot of stuff that sounded to me like The Beatles and a lot of ‘60s mod/pop-rock. But later they would employ things from Fugazi, Radiohead and harder shit, and that eclecticism, again, only accelerated my love for Phantom Planet.

“Recently Distressed” is from their 1998 album Phantom Planet Is Missing. This was a cool rock song that employed these George [Harrison] and Paul [McCartney] background vocals and included all of the things that I loved. It was harder but melodic and employed minor 4th chords and more complicated chords than I was used to. I had grown up with power chords - which are very Gregorian - on a lot of alt. punk rock, like Green Day or Nirvana, and if Kurt Cobain was using power chords then that’s how I was playing guitar. Hearing this music was like ‘Oh, I’m using full chords, not sevenths, minor 4th chords, diminished chords’, shit that I would learn to use more and more.

“When you haven’t experienced much, anything that gives a hint towards possibility, even though it’s probably always been there, you’re like, ‘I like this, I’ve always kind of liked this, but it’s very encouraging to hear somebody else do it and it’s gonna make me reconsider my possibilities.’ That was literally the moment that my power chords turned into full barre chords.”

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“Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk” by Rufus Wainwright

“I forgot the other day how I got into Rufus Wainwright, because all of this stuff I was getting into quite young. It’s like when I talk to 11-13 year olds, it’s funny to think that this was when I was really starting to build my musical identity. But then I remembered, and I didn’t want to say because I didn’t want to sound uncool, because he is such a revered artist who exists in a much cooler place than what I’m about to say.

“I loved soundtracks and I would always buy soundtracks for movies that had cool playlists. I had the Shrek soundtrack, and there’s a cover of Leonard Cohen’s seminal “Hallelujah” that Rufus does and he smashes it, and I’m like, ‘Who the fuck is Rufus Wainwright? What a beautiful voice.’ Then I saw that he was going to be at the Virgin Megastore in San Francisco one week, so I go and he’s there promoting his new album Poses. I remember I didn’t have enough money to buy the album that day, so I had him sign my sneaker and I saved that shoe.

“The first song on Poses was “Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk”, which is a very dark and reflective song about his own battles with addiction, but he’s singing it over this really beautiful, whimsical song that has a lot of really great wordplay. I always love when artists, especially lyricists, can encapsulate an idea with not exactly what they’re talking about. The song’s called “Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk”, it’s not called “Addiction”. Its talking about things that he craved and how that’s representative of other things that he’s gone through. There was a sophistication and elegance to that that I really gravitated towards, that I didn’t possess but wanted to shoot for. So when I saw him, that was a big one for me and he would also continue to influence me later in my life.

“I’ve become friends with Rufus since. I’ve performed with him and we’ve made records together, which is crazy. His songwriting was very complex and punk-rock, but he had this classic cabaret voice, the kind of voice that I don’t have. I was fascinated that there was somebody that could write this really dark material but have such elegance on top of it. He was virtuosic on the piano, which I thought was very cool because musicianship is always the thing that gets me going the most about artists.

“You know what? People say, ‘Don’t meet your heroes.' I completely disagree. Chase the living fuck out of your heroes. I’ve spent a lifetime doing so, it’s made me a better artist, and I’ve sometimes got to meet them and work with them. I’ve worked on music with Alex Greenwald of Phantom Planet. I’ve performed with Hanson. I’ve performed those Disney songs with Alan Menken at The Hollywood Bowl.

"This is all because there are people that I love who I have put on my vision board, and the things that they have done are the things that are bringing me to them. So it is nuts, but at the same time you’re like, ‘Well, what else did you think would happen?’ They did stuff that some part of me connected with, so obviously there’s a magnetic pull towards that person.

“Rufus Wainwright is one of my absolute favourite artists of all time and like I said, me trying to sing like him and failing is a big part of my own journey as an artist.”

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“3x5” by John Mayer

“John Mayer’s another guy that came around when I was 15. I heard a song of his on a middle-of-the-night, singer/songwriter college radio show. This is where I used to get music. You would listen to these carefully curated playlists that you wouldn’t be able to hear anywhere else, and the host played “No Such Thing”, a new song by this young kid who had just dropped out of Berklee College of Music - John Mayer.

“I’m listening to this song and I’m like, ‘Not only is this guitar playing really interesting, but the lyrical value and everything that is going on here ticks all the boxes.' It was jazz, but it was pop. And he did something that all these other guys and girls I’ve mentioned did. They made something very unique and very accessible.

“I immediately went out to buy this album, Room For Squares, and I listened to it over and over again. It was an album that was really formative for me. "3x5” is a really beautiful song that employs a lot of chord structures and melodies that blew my fucking mind at the time, and it made me wish that I could write songs like that.

“That album was a huge turning point in the way I played the guitar, because it was the first time in my life where I would look up tabs. Up until this point in my life, if I heard a song I could play it instantly. It was like a party trick, I would get how it worked if I heard it, because most of the songs I would hear on the radio - especially those that involved a guitar - were [centred around] power chords. And now I’m hearing all of these ninth chords and thirteenths, and I’m like, ‘What the fuck is this?’ So I’d have to look up tabs.

“I think any young artist can attest to this - when you try and learn other people’s shit, it’s the best tool for educating yourself. Playing other people’s music really helps you lock in what your own style is. Trying to learn these songs - and sometimes pulling it off and sometimes not - really changed the way that my hands moved around the guitar and considered chords and voicings that I’d never really thought of.

“There’s another tie to musical theatre here, where I remember seeing Audra McDonald, who is a very venerated theatre actor, and she did a cabaret. If you’re familiar with cabaret culture, it’s more about performing the story of the songs – ‘Life is a cabaret’. She did a John Mayer song because she thought it was from a musical theatre show, and I was so tickled by this, because I was like ‘Yeah, if you really think about it, I don’t think he knows this and I don’t think his fan base even thinks about this, but there’s a number of his songs that feel very theatrical in the way that the lyrics play with each other and the way the chords move��.

"When I saw this I thought, ‘That is why I like John Mayer’, because yes, he’s an amazing guitar player, but he’s also a really strong songwriter.”

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“Cabaret” by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes

“Also, around this time growing up in San Francisco, as a guitar player playing music with your buddies, the number one thing that you play is punk rock. There are different parts of the spectrum of punk rock, there's the NOFX, Swingin’ Utters, like real punk, punk. And then there’s the pop-punk thing that was happening at the same time, which was also equally influential - blink-182 and Green Day.

“Fat Mike was the frontman of NOFX. I loved NOFX, and Me First and the Gimme Gimmes were a supergroup of different members from different punk bands, of which Fat Mike was one of the main architects. They would cover songs and turn them into punk rock songs. They have an album of hits from the ‘60s, and they also have an album called Me First and the Gimme Gimmes: Are a Drag, and that record is just a tonne of musical theatre covers that are done through punk rock.

“That was completely in line with everything I loved at this time of my life but didn’t really know how to articulate. I loved punk rock but I also really loved musical theatre. Not only the performative element of it, but there was a real musicality to musical theatre that wasn’t as present in some of the other shit that was popular at the time, just harmonically, or where chords would go. There was a sophistication I loved that seemed to not exist in punk rock.

“Then hearing Fat Mike at The Warped Tour going ‘Alright, which one of you Motherfuckers loves Julie Andrews?’ and hearing a mixed bag of reactions, because people were ‘What? I was not expecting that from you, sir?’ And then they start playing “My Favourite Things”, a classic Rodgers and Hammerstein song which is very accessible, but sophisticated nonetheless. And I am just living. I’m like, ‘This has got the attitude and simplicity of punk rock, but the sophistication of a beautiful song.’

“That was the first time in my life where I went, ‘It’s just all music. All these categories and boxes are completely arbitrary.’ So I thought, ‘I can do that.' I was playing power chords in punk bands but I realised that you can take chords and make them into other rhythms and voicings and have the same song. I could take a punk song and make it jazz. I could take a jazz song and make it country. So, quite providentially, I would end up on Glee, where they took popular songs and would sometimes do their own versions.

“By that point, I had been doing this my whole life. The first time this ever became a possibility for me was seeing Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, and that way of thinking about music and genre. I’ve put that into Masquerade, and it’s all born from that moment of ‘Oh my God, nothing has to be one thing. It’s just about how you look at it.'

“Cabaret” is from a pretty famous musical that I would’ve probably heard about later in life, but I first heard that song as a punk song and then I went back and heard the original. It doesn’t matter how these things happen, the inspiration happens and then you can go from there. But Me First and The Gimme Gimmes were a huge gateway drug and I play “Cabaret” now every year at my festival. That’s why the festival is called Elsie Fest, because it covers the song.”

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“Modern Nature” by Sondre Lerche

“One of the great joys of being a younger brother is that you get to inherit the music of your elders. My brother and I were both really proactive consumers of music, so we would share stuff with each other all the time. But then he would come home from college, which is like coming home from a music festival essentially, right? He was in a new time zone with new people, so he’d bring home these mix CDs that he’d made from people that he’d heard about, and he brings home this guy named Sondre Lerche.

“Hearing this guy blew my mind, because he also was using jazz chords and drawing on musical theatre. Musical theatre’s a massive category, so I can’t just say that musical theatre sounds like one thing, but when I say this, I’m referring to The American Songbook, the jazz standard songbook. “Modern Nature” was a duet that I would go on to play many times with one of my oldest musical collaborators, Charlene Kaye. When we got to college and we both found out that we loved this guy.

“There was a much more whimsical way to how he wrote these songs. And what’s crazy is that loving this guy meant that we also loved Rufus Wainwright, that we also loved these other artists. But Sondre was the first time I considered that I loved that type of music, but I didn’t know that you could be a singer/songwriter and put out music that sounded like it.

“I don’t know if ‘twee’ is the right word to use, but with “Modern Nature” there was a playfulness about it, and again, a musicality that I really gravitated towards. There is a through line - there was a sophistication that was accessible, and me trying to learn those songs did make me rethink the way that I was writing music. The structures were weird and different and I liked that.

“To this day, I find myself writing songs that I think might be difficult for people to ingest, because they’re a little too left of centre, and I realise that I’m trying to write like Sondre Lerche, or I’m unconsciously just copying him.”

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“Everything Happens to Me” by Mr Hudson & The Library

“I was in an H&M in Stockholm when I was 21, and I heard this really cool groove and the lyric was “Why must I always play the clown?” It was sung with a really thick British accent, had an 808 feel on it, and lyrically it had an attitude. Who would say something that sounds so like you’re in a Gilbert & Sullivan musical, but it feels hard? It was cool.

“I went home and looked this up and it was off the record A Tale of Two Cities by Mr Hudson and the Library, which would really, really fuck me up. I bought the album immediately because I loved this song. I had to order it on the internet because I couldn’t find it. It was doing well in England and he was on the festival circuit in the early-mid 2000s, but the first song on the album was a musical theatre cover with 808s.

“It was a pared-down, sort of a hip-hop version of “On The Street Where You Live” from My Fair Lady, and I’m like ‘No fucking way, this guy gets where my head is.’ I’d thought about punk rock musical theatre, but I never thought about 808s and 909s scoring these beautiful songs. I go down the track list and he has “Everything Happens to Me”, which is another very famous standard, and he had this really cool, what we would now call chill-hop, ‘study beats’ version of this song. I was like, ‘This is it. This guy gets that good music is good music and you can reinterpret it to offer it as a new song.’

“I would later become great friends with Mr Hudson. I got to meet him years later when I was with Columbia Records, and they said to me ‘Who do you want to meet?’ He was at the top of my list. I went to London and we’ve been friends ever since and have created all kinds of music together.

“He told me a story where Tyler the Creator went up to him once at Coachella and said, ‘Oh man, “Everything Happens To Me”, that’s like my song.’ We both wondered if Tyler the Creator knew that it was a Chet Baker cover. And we were thinking how cool it is that you can offer these songs to a new audience through a different lens. Tyler’s a smart guy, he’s very cultured, and I’m sure he did know. But it’s more the idea that if someone experienced this song and didn’t know that it was a cover, and this is like the first time they ever get to experience it.

“Mr Hudson would go on to do his own thing with Kanye and was on 808s & Heartbreak and has had his own career. I think “Supernova” was a hit in the UK, it didn’t really cross over here to The States, but before that moment for him, that Mr Hudson and The Library album changed my life. People use that phrase willy-nilly, but this literally was a turning point in my life. It all had to do with the same thing that happened with these other songs, where I saw someone do what I always wanted to do but didn’t really know how to pull off. Where he had this fusing of old songs delivered through a contemporary lens, but also laced it with his own original material that also employed the things that made that old songwriting interesting.

“It’s like changing the font of a great essay but finding the font and figuring out that that font is its own art form. He really displayed that marvellously on this.”

The Masquerade EP is out now

#darren criss #the line of best fit #press #sept 2021

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johns-prince · 4 years ago

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Let's play the speculation game and say McLennon was real. Going with the common idea that Paul dumped John in India, wasn't the "let's all be friends, write together and go on double dates with our wives" angle Paul seemed to hope for completely delusional? Why would someone with John's issues stick around and celebrate Paul's happiness with someone else after being downgraded?

I have great respect for Paul's decision of not being John's nanny/handler for the rest of his life. But I've always been annoyed by his inability to let the man go for good. Paul, you've made your choice, my friend. Enough with the sad songs about not being called back or turning up on John's doorstep with a guitar when the he was spending time with his own family. People hate that but some things in the world really are black or white. You can't have it both ways.

Why speculate when we know it was and is real

Alright so, let me try to unpack my thoughts cohesively get ya tinfoil hats on y’all;

If we go with the theory that during 1967, when Paul and John were practically living together and conjoined at the hip, taking LSD together and sharing those intense and intimate experiences that even Pau’s girlfriend Jane had become envious of— John had come to the realization of what he wanted, finally acknowledged it and came to accept it.

So in India, John tried to confront Paul about their relationship and their “relationship,” and openly admit to Paul that he wanted more, that he was now willing to leave Cynthia and Julian for a life he truly wanted or desired, and that included Paul (but to what extent is what we debate I guess)

And now that I’m thinking about it, we also know John was sort of beginning to spiral downward in 1968. It was obvious his marriage with Cynthia was at it’s end, and he didn’t want to work on it anymore. He was surrounding himself more with druggies, an unsavory crowd that Cynthia really didn’t approve of (Yoko was part of this crowd) and he was actively pulling away.

I think John was realizing that, he just wasn’t happy. That, putting everything he had into becoming one of the most successful musicians in the world, to become bigger then Elvis Presley, didn’t make him happy. It didn’t fix what needed fixing in him, what needed addressing. He was still drowning despite it all.

So you’ve got the trip to India, the boys going in hopes that perhaps the Maharishi Mahesh Yog and his spiritual teachings would somehow give a new perspective on things, produce the answer that would save the band (save John and Paul) from what appeared to be an inevitable downfall. But as we know, that isn’t what was needed.

John and Paul needed to talk. The lack of consistent communication between them for years and years, and the fact John needed a therapist, he needed rehab. So did Paul, during the White Album era.

I don’t believe Paul dumped John, but I do think John could have easily misconstrued Paul taking a step back and not willing to just go blindly, impulsively jumping off a theoretical cliff with him, as being rejected. We know Paul had to sort of take the position of ‘think before you leap’, to be more conscious of the actions and decisions he and the others decide to take, and how it would effect them as individuals, and especially them as a band (because frankly the others wouldn’t) and we know that John could be incredibly impulsive, only thought of the consequences after the fact. That, and who’s to say such a proposition and confrontation from John hadn’t scared Paul? Got him feeling those insecurities of his own crawling up.

Paul wanted a traditional family, he wanted to have a wife and children. But Paul also wanted John, he wanted and loved Lennon-McCartney, and he didn’t think (or he’d hoped) him getting married and having a family would really change anything between them (because John got married and had a kid and they were still able to do go and do whatever they wanted together, so what was the difference—) that he could still keep what he had with John, that they could still stay together after The Beatles split. Get around to writing that musical, and grow old together still writing and making music, still creating together.

How I see it, is that Paul wanted to have his cake and eat it too.

Paul, being fine with keeping the status quo between them, it was safe and enough (right?), but John vehemently wasn’t fine with it anymore, and it wasn’t enough for him. Nothing was enough for him, as we know; John was a very all-or-nothing individual, and expected complete devotion and love from someone, because receiving less felt like rejection and abandonment was only around the corner. This way of feeling and thinking for John was only exasperated by the drugs, his alcoholism, and his spiraling mental health.

Paul could have tried compromising with John, and John still could have taken that as a complete rejection of his feelings and what he wanted, and what he had hoped and thought Paul also wanted.

I believe Paul probably didn’t even know himself what he had done wrong, or that he did anything wrong. I don’t think Paul believed he was downgrading John to anything either.

If only they had talked.

Then they returned from India, and the rest as we know it...

“To me, a summary is something like: “gifted, disturbed boy with tremendous amount of drive to outrun a bad childhood discovers love for music and creative soulmate(s) and gives everything he has to become the most famous musician in the world, hoping it will make him happy. He does, but it doesn’t, and people who don’t have his best interests separate him from his friends, his creation and creative spark, and ultimately himself. He’s too screwed up by addiction, mental illness, and unaddressed traumas to change things, so he retreats further into addiction and mental illness, wishing he could somehow regain his lost spark. He makes a few halfway steps toward doing so, but they’re not enough, and ultimately he is killed in front of his apartment building where, 24 hours later, his wife installs the man she had been sleeping with behind his back.”"

— Michael Bleicher, The Artist as a Dissipated Man: Fred Seaman’s “The Last Days of John Lennon.”

Right, so both John and Paul made their choices in life. Some choices and decisions that we as fans and outside observers might never be able to understand, or agree with.

But who’s to say Paul (and John), couldn’t, didn’t, or don’t regret those choices and decisions?

I get what you’re saying, I understand. Why can’t Paul move on? He made his choices, why is it 40, 50 years later, that Paul can’t just let John go? Let sleeping dogs lie, all that.

Because Paul loved John, still loves John, to this day.

Because, clearly Paul has some regrets. He regrets how things were handled during the Divorce. He regrets not hugging John enough. He regrets not telling John, when he had the chance and time, that he loved him (and without the help of alcohol) When you love someone so deeply, and suddenly, without warning, they’re taken from you and the world, you regret a lot, and you miss what could have been, the ‘What if’s.’

Paul said that what he and John were, were soulmates. I don’t know how it feels to lose a soulmate. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to know how it feels to get the opportunity to love and be around them.

How awful do you think it is to meet your soulmate, but you cannot freely love them? Can’t just, be, with them? Not in just one way, bestmates, legendary partners, but, as everything that the word Soulmate brings along and includes with it?

That God decided to have them be of the same sex, during a time where it was illegal to love and be with someone of the same sex, and could even be a potential death sentence to be assumed or thought of as a ‘queer.’

So, you take whatever you can with them.

Then that isn’t enough. One grows restless, desperate for more. It can’t happen, not realistically, not without consequences of varying degrees.

Strain, miscommunication to none. They communicate through a musical, artistic language which just isn’t enough. Drugs, alcohol, mental illness and emotional turmoil, it’s all too much. It breaks. Soulmates are still flawed human beings.

You have people who work to purposefully pin them against each other. Parasites and piggybackers.

A nasty divorce and breakup between two lovers that never were.

And then, after ten years, it’s happening. You two are talking again, things are tense and awkward still sometimes, but something’s changed. You’ve planned on reuniting, couldn’t do it this year, because the studio you wanted was booked. So you plan for after the New Year.

Then, your soulmate is killed. Just, taken away from you, like nothing. Violently and suddenly. And all the possibilities... The time... Gone. Ripped away from both of you.

I can’t blame Paul for not letting go. I can’t say I’d ever be able to understand the sort of pain and heartbreak he experienced. He still goes through it! It’s still there. He’s just learned how to manage it a bit better.

I’d say it’s more pathetic then it is annoying— and I don’t mean it in a way to insult Paul. I really don’t. Because John was just as pathetic when it came to his obvious obsession, desire, and love for Paul, too.

Love, that kind of soul-deep love, it can make you pathetic and hopeless. And it’s not something you can just... let go for good.

Wanting, or expecting Paul to let go of John for good... Firstly would be impossible, and secondly, how do you let go of a soulmate? John is a part of Paul, whether some like it or not. Can’t really have one without the other.

Can’t have Lennon without McCartney, and vice-or-versa. Forever intertwined, are they.

#questionsquestionsquestions #mclennon #beatles discussion/discourse #I think all I did was ramble again I'm sorry #this isn't even that good

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calpalirwin · 3 years ago

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Ocean Currents

A/N: Since how SOMEONE had to go looking all cute after I already posted a fic about his dumb ass, here’s a part 2 to Ocean Currents that no one asked for. Reading Part 1 is not technically necessary, but highly encouraged.

Word Count: 1k

And away, and away we go!

30 minutes didn’t give you a lot of prep time, which meant that you didn’t have a lot of time to overthink things as your replacement came in and you quickly changed in the small bathroom inside the lifeguard tower. As you changed you were glad you opted to grab a sundress today rather than your usual shorts and tank top.

“Whoa, got a hot date?” your coworker asked as you stepped back onto the landing of the lifeguard stand.

“Something like that, yeah,” you smiled.

“Give me the details tomorrow, yeah? And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Or do!” they called out as you made a beeline for the pier.

Ashton had his back turned, arms resting against the railing of the pier as he stared out at the water. He looked a little different as he had changed into a regular pair of shorts, and thin long-sleeved white button down shirt. “Hey, you,” you said softly, walking up to him.

He turned, smiling. “Hey! You look… wow.”

“Friends ditch you?” you asked, looking around.

“They’re around somewhere I’m sure. I’ll find them later. Or I won’t. Not a big deal.”

You laughed. “I take it you guys took separate cars. Or still a little butthurt at their teasing you earlier?”

“Little bit of both maybe,” Ashton laughed a little. “Anyway… you ready?”

“Yeah of course! There’s a great little diner here at the other end.”

“Sounds great.” As you fell into step with each other, his hand bumped into yours before he interlaced your fingers, the corner of his lips going up in a sly boyish smirk. And you couldn’t help the small giggle you let out at the teenage antics of it all. “So… how long have you been a lifeguard?”

“Uh… about 10 years total. But a beach lifeguard for only the last 4 or so years.”

“Was the transition hard? From pool to beach?”

“Yes, and no. I was never a pool lifeguard. I was with our parks and rec department, so I was lifeguarding lakes. Which operate enough like pools, but you still get a strong current from time to time.”

“Very cool.”

“Yeah, it’s definitely different from your traditional job I guess. But never a dull moment. What do you do?”

“Oh, I’m a drummer.”

You faltered for a half step, not expecting that answer. “A drummer? I thought you were a swimmer.”

“I said I used to be a swimmer. When I was a kid and in high school I was. And did the typical summer jobs lifeguarding public pools. Until I became a drummer and left home, that is.”

“Oh? Where is home and how long ago did you leave?”

“Australia. And uh, we left about 9 years ago. Stayed in London for a few years. Then settled here… God, I can’t remember how long it’s been. The years kinda blur after a while.”

“That they do,” you laughed as you reached the diner at the end of the pier and he got the door for you both.

“Hi! Table for 2?” the hostess asked.

“Yes, please,” Ashton told them.

“Would you prefer to sit inside or outside?”

“Um… outside?” Ashton asked, looking at you.

“Outside,” you nodded with a smile.

“Follow me,” the hostess chirped.

After you had taken your seats and ordered drinks, you picked up where you left off in the conversation. “So, drummer? Famous?”

Ashton giggled, his smile in full effect. “Some people would say that, yeah. I mean, if you Google me, I definitely show up.”

“So I bet that you’re used to people telling you that you have a really cute smile then, huh?”

His cheeks blushed and he giggled more. “Uh, surprisingly not the compliment I usually get. But yeah, it does happen from time to time.”

“And what compliments do you usually get?”

“Ones too inappropriate to say in polite company, or related to my drumming.”

“Oh!” Your eyes went wide. “That’s, um… actually kind of terrible. Never understood the oversexualizing of celebrities. The way the general public acts like you’re meant only for our entertainment, and that you’re not real actual people yourselves.”

He shrugged and waved a hand dismissively. “You learn to tune it out, sexual and hateful comments alike.”

“That’s still a terrible thing to have to learn.”

He shrugged again. “It helps that the nice comments heavily outweigh the not so nice ones. And having supportive band members going through the same thing helps you to not feel isolated in it, too.”

“Mmm, and your friends from earlier? Friends or band members?”

“Mix of the two. The guys are my band mates. And the girls are fiancées. Although Sierra, Luke’s fiancée, the brunette, she’s also a musician.”

“And Luke was one of the blondes, yeah?” you asked, trying to remember from earlier.

“Yes. The taller blonde. The shorter blonde was Michael, and he’s engaged to Crystal, the other woman we were with. And then you more or less met Calum.”

“You guys all seem really close. Like you became each other’s family almost.”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I mean, we basically did. People used to think Luke and I were actually brothers. That was a weird year.”

“That’s actually kind of sweet.”

“Yeah. But enough about me and them. I wanna learn about you.”

“Well that might be a problem, because I wanna learn about you. And not from Google.”

~~~

Food dishes and water glasses laid scattered about the table, as you and Ashton spent the better part of 2 hours swapping stories and trading scars like you’d never not known each other, the sun sinking lower behind him, casting him in a heavenly glow of soft sunshine that held the smells of an ocean breeze.

He sighed, propping an elbow up and cupping his chin in his palm, a lazy smile on his face.

“What?” you giggled nervously, wiping at your face with a napkin.

“Nothing. I’m just… really enjoying myself. And kinda kicking myself a bit.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, one of my friends, not any of the ones I came with today unfortunately, is a photographer. And I kinda wish he was because he’s the only one I trust to capture how breathtaking you look right now.”

“Breathtaking, hmm?” you asked, leaning forward across the table.

“Absolutely stunning,” his breath fanned across your face from how close you were to him.

“You sure do know how to charm a woman, Ashton.”

“Wait until you learn how I kiss.”

Tag List

@aquarius-hood1996 @creator-appreciator @philthepegacorn @myfavfanficsever @cxddlyash @youngblood199456 @stormrider505 @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @hoodhoran @metalandboybands @maybeememez @kaitieskidmore1 @wiiildflowerrr @heartskippeddabeat

#ocean currents #ashton irwin #ashton irwin fic #ashton irwin x reader #lifeguard!reader #5sos #calpal irwin

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bard-llama · 3 years ago

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WiP Wednesday: Rorveth, Isendain, AND Thronebreaker Snippets + Some Headcanons

I couldn’t decide what to do for WiP Wednesday, so uh... have lots of stuff! We’ve got an Iorveth/Roche snippet, an Isengrim/Eldain snippet, a Throne3 (Meve/Reynard/Gascon) snippet AND a little bit about some Thronebreaker headcanons me and @moonlights-ordinance came up with today.

Iorveth/Roche:

This is the beginning of an angsty fic wherein Iorveth pines and finds out some unpleasant news. The actual plot of the fic is Iorveth trying to get rid of his feelings, but we’re not there yet.

Iorveth really should’ve known that this day was destined to be hellish the moment that he was jolted from his paperwork daze by the rambunctious shouts of his Scoia’tael outside his office. He sighed, scrubbing his hands down his face, then checking that his bandana covered his scar properly. Only after that did he open the door to see what was sowing chaos amidst his ranks.

No one… actually seemed to notice his presence, which to be frank, was not a problem Iorveth typically struggled with. He was quite good at appearing intimidating and infuriated even when he wasn’t particularly trying.

But it seemed his elves – and a few of the dwarves – were far too involved in their own gossip to notice him as he walked through the crowd.

“Have you heard–?”

“No way.”

“Guess he loved Temeria so much he married it!” someone chortled.

“Ha! From Cocksucker in Chief to Consort. He must be real good.”

A bout of cackling followed that last remark, and Iorveth had his first premonition that the day was going to suck. But he still didn’t have answers, so he walked straight forward into what would become his own personal hell.

In the center of the crowd, surrounded by countless elves and dwarves, Iorveth was not at all surprised to find his two favorite subordinates – who were rapidly losing that classification. He stepped up next to them, crossing his arms and waiting for them to notice the trouble they were in.

Really, he should have known it would be these two. Rinn, for all that she was nominally well-behaved and quiet, was extremely mischievous, especially when it had the potential to cause minor problems for Iorveth. He would not be surprised if she had planned this. Her companion, Ky, may have been more innocent in that she may not have intended to draw a crowd – but she was absolutely the one spreading the gossip far and wide.

It took a while, but slowly, the chattering grew quieter and quieter as more people took notice of his presence. Finally, Rinn caught sight of him and poked Ky, who was still loudly expounding on something about marriage.

“Something you need to tell me?” Iorveth asked, eyebrow arched high and disapproving scowl firmly in place.

Ky winced, but Rinn looked entirely unrepentant as she signed, the Temerian King made an official announcement today that I caught during my shift.

Iorveth looked at the way more than a few people were biting their lips and avoiding his eye and hummed. “And?”

“Roche is getting married!” Ky burst out as if she physically could not hold it back anymore and Iorveth felt everything freeze.

Married? Vernon Roche!? The erstwhile commander of the Blue Stripes and proud pain in Iorveth’s ass? Who the fuck would he be marrying and why would it be a royal announcement!?

Even though Iorveth himself still felt like he was encased in ice, time seemed to resume for everyone else and chattering rapidly commenced, elves whispering back and forth between themselves and each other.

What was it someone had said earlier? ‘From Cocksucker in Chief to Consort’?

Was… was Vernon marrying King Foltest!?

Rinn must have seen the question on his face, because she nodded and passed over a paper missive.

It felt like moving through molasses to extend his arm and accept the notice that would forever change his life.

The Ancient Royal Line of the Temerian Dynasty Announces the Wedding of

Foltest, King of Temeria, Prince of Sodden, Sovereign of Pontaria and Mahakam, and Senior Protectorate of Brugge and Sodden

and

Vernon Roche, Commander of the Elite Blue Stripes Special Forces Unit, Pacifier of the Mahakaman Foothills, and Right Hand to the King

to take place at the year’s end on the Winter Solstice

Iorveth stared at the announcement, static fizzing through his brain. Vernon. And Foltest. They were getting married!?

His eye shot up to meet Rinn’s almost imploringly, hoping this was all some big joke. But there was no mischief in her eyes, and her forehead creased with worry as she watched him, clearly wondering what was wrong.

She, at least, appeared to be the only one who had noticed anything amiss in his reaction. The rest of his Scoia’tael were back to loudly gossiping about their enemy’s new status in life.

“Wait, I thought human men couldn’t get pregnant. Isn’t the whole point of a royal marriage to produce an heir?”

“Nah, I’ve heard the whore has a cunt,” someone laughed. “Can you imagine only having one? Sounds lame as fuck. But yeah, supposedly our dearest Commander Roche can make royal babies for King Fuckface.”

Iorveth’s heartbeat stuttered and he inhaled sharply through his nose. He… hadn’t known that. Sure, he’d heard rumors, but the rumors about Vernon were wild and extreme and ranged from his background as a whore to his imaginary sideline in child abduction to his preference for blunt force weapons.

Was this one… true? As he looked back at Rinn for the answer – aside from being the primary spy assigned to Vernon, she also seemed to just inexplicably know things – he could hear the conversation around him moving on.

“Hey, do you think that’s why they’re getting married? Maybe the idiot king knocked up his whore and now he’s gotta marry him!”

“I dunno, did Roche look pregnant at our last fight?”

Rinn nodded the slightest bit and Iorveth brain returned to static. Vernon. Pregnant. That – he hadn’t been aware that that was something he was emotionally invested in, but the storm of feelings racing through his veins proved that he was. He wanted – he wanted to see that, wanted to cause that, wanted to discover what Vernon’s cunt would be like and feel it stretched around him and–

He’d – he’d always assumed that Vernon had a cock, even though he wasn’t quite sure what a human cock looked like. But whenever he’d picture a different future – one where he could choose his own happiness over his cause – it hadn’t mattered that he didn’t know what a human cock looked like. His imagination was more than delighted to fill in whatever he wished, and coming up with different ideas was all that got him through the night at times.

The idea of Vernon with a cunt was startling. It had never occurred to him before, and now he wondered how he could’ve possibly been so shortsighted. The things that he could do with Vernon’s cunt were limitless and Iorveth’s mind got stuck on that for probably far too long.

He was brought out of his daze by Rinn choking, wide eyes locked on his face. With sudden dread, he understood what she must have seen. What she must have realized.

Iorveth swallowed hard, jerking his head, “give me a proper report.” He turned to head back to his office without looking at her and he wasn’t sure if he was hoping she’d follow or that she wouldn’t.

(the rest under a cut to save your dash)

Isengrim/Eldain:

This is a fluffy bit from a get together fic set post-Reasons of State and we start with Isengrim mourning Dijkstra and Dijkstra’s betrayal.

There was a knock on his door and then Eldain’s voice spoke. “Isengrim? Um. I know you aren’t feeling great, but would you come with me for a bit?’

All of a sudden, then blankness fled under a wave of confusion and curiosity. “What?”

“I – um. I have something for you. But you gotta come with me for a bit. And if you don’t like it, I promise I will not get in the way of your grief, even if that means hiding out in here.”

Eldain sounded nervous, of all things. Isengrim hadn’t actually known Eldain was capable of feeling nervous.

Why was he nervous?

Isengrim frowned at the door. He wasn’t exactly going to get an answer lying here. And maybe Eldain could keep him from thinking about Sigi and all the pain associated with him for a bit.

It was worth a shot. Besides, he’d come to rather like the other ex-commander quite a bit over the course of working together. Not that they hadn’t worked together before, but there had always been a formality dividing them. Eldain looked up to him, he knew that. Not that Eldain would ever say it, but it was the way Eldain looked at him. A soft regard that one could almost mistake for love, but was truly nothing more than hero worship. He’d seen the same look on the faces of all the young Scoia’tael, but from Eldain, it felt like the thorn of a rose – he hated it, knowing that Eldain would never feel the same, that he was destined to die alone and miserable and a beautiful young musician like Eldain could never be his. But at the same time, he coveted it, coveted Eldain’s regard, because even if it wasn’t what he wanted, it was something.

He would give anything to have Eldain in his life in any form.

Swallowing hard, Isengrim rubbed his face, then opened the door.

Eldain was on the other side of the door and his shoulders were slumped in defeat that quickly turned to confusion, one shoulder cocking upwards.

“What?” Isengrim asked.

“I – no, I just. Thought you’d say no,” Eldain said awkwardly.

“Does that mean you do want me to go with you somewhere or not?”

“Yeah!” Eldain shook himself, smiling at Isengrim, and it felt as though the sun had emerged from cloud cover, because instead of the nothingness-pain from before, now he felt – too much, really. And some of it hurt, but more of it was pleased to just bask in the rays of Eldain’s smile.

He was only half aware of following Eldain through the house, still a little dazed from the blinding light. But when Eldain came to a stop in front of a closed door, the world seemed to snap back into focus, and he looked to Eldain expectantly.

Eldain fidgeted, feet shuffling. “Um. Like – like I said, if you don’t like it, I won’t force you to stay, but um–” his adam’s apple bobbed and then Eldain opened the door and motioned for Isengrim to enter.

Isengrim took two steps through the doorway and froze. All around him, the room was lit up with dozens of little lights – some up high, some down low, others around his hips. Those ones on the floor guided him towards what looked like a raggedy old blanket draped over the wooden flooring.

“It’s not exactly a starlit picnic,” Eldain shrugged, setting down a basket he hadn’t even noticed Eldain was carrying, “but since we’re laying low, I figured this was as close as we could get.”

“I–” Isengrim was breathless, uncertain of what to say. Awe spread through him as he looked over the dozens of lights, each coming from candles in small lanterns that were hanging from the ceiling all over. He couldn’t think of any words to portray what this meant to him, what it meant that Eldain would go to all this trouble for him. So he was as surprised as Eldain when his mouth said, “isn’t this a fire hazard?”

Eldain rocked back as if he’d been hit, smile abruptly falling from his face.

“No,” Isengrim tried to recover, cursing himself. “I – this is amazing. Is. What I mean. Um. Am trying to say. I – you did this for me!?” If there was disbelief coloring his tone, it was only because he could hardly comprehend the idea of anyone going to so much trouble just to cheer him up.

Eldain’s jaw was clenched, and his expression was a neutral mask that Isengrim hated having put there. Why did he always hurt the people he cared for? Was he truly so tainted that anyone he touched was at risk of infection? Was simply being around him enough to ruin what could be an incredible life for a beautiful young musician like Eldain?

“You don’t have to stay,” Eldain murmured, and Isengrim felt like crying, uncertain whether he wanted to leave and spare Eldain the risk of contamination or if he wanted to stay and bask in this incredible gift that Eldain was giving him.

––

Never before had Eldain wished that Isengrim would leave his presence immediately. But if he stayed much longer, then it was entirely too likely that he would witness Eldain falling apart.

Eldain had always known his silly little crush would never go anywhere . He was even almost fine with that. But he’d thought – he’d thought that Isengrim at least considered him a friend. And yes, this whole production was a little over the top for friendship, but hey, Eldain was an over the top kind of guy.

There was always the possibility Isengrim would hate it. And he’d worried about that and fretted over it, but he hadn’t really expected it to happen. Even if Isengrim was uncomfortable, Eldain would’ve guessed that he’d be polite enough to grin and bear it. Which was far from ideal, but right now, Eldain really wished that he’d done that, because instead it felt like he’d reached into Eldain’s chest and ripped his still-beating heart out, leaving him bleeding and doomed.

“Thank you,” Isengrim said, and Eldain startled. Of all the words he’d expected, those were not even on his radar.

“What?”

“Thank you. I – you clearly went to a lot of trouble to give me something beautiful. Thank you.” Isengrim said the words easily, and Eldain was confused. That… didn’t sound like Isengrim hated it. “So, what are we eating?”

Eldain’s smile grew slowly, but as Isengrim continued to look expectantly at him, he found that he couldn’t hold it back. He waved Isengrim towards the blanket – one probably as old as the house was, but all the good blankets were in use. “Bread and cheese. Fruit. Some veggies,” he narrated as he pulled the items out of the basket. “Wasn’t sure how much appetite you’d have, so I wanted to keep it light, but if you’re hungry, there’s still some venison in the storeroom.”

Isengrim looked at the objects laid out around them. “I – I don’t know what to say except thank you,” Isengrim said, a smile growing on his face that made Eldain’s heart beat fast. “This is very thoughtful and sweet.”

Eldain flushed, reaching into the basket to pull out the last item. “And, of course, some wine. It’s not exactly high quality, but we’re slumming it tonight anyway.”

The huff of laughter Isengrim let out made it feel like there were wings on his heart, letting it slowly rise. He’d made Isengrim happy. If that was all he ever did in life, he could be content with that.

Throne3 (Meve/Reynard/Gascon):

The porn tags for these 3 are sadly lacking, so... have some porn XD The premise here is that they’ve just escaped the Lyrian capital through the sewers and now they’re all washing off in the first river they came across.

They all knew what the venerable Count Reynard Odo was getting up to with Queen Meve upriver. But while the deserters from the Lyrian army and the Strays seemed content with gossiping about it, Gascon felt compelled to seek out more.

Sneaking past the guards ensuring their queen’s privacy with her boytoy even now was honestly pathetically easy. But then, they were probably used to looking the other way for their queen.

Gascon didn’t really know what he was planning, but he knew that he needed to see Meve in the throes of pleasure. The fierce and enchanting queen was currently being ‘serviced’ by her top aide and everybody knew it.

How could he possibly be expected to resist?

But instead of satisfying him, the view before him only made him crave more, because Meve and Reynard were standing about shin-deep in the water with him wrapped around her, hands stroking over her body as her head rested back against his shoulder.

But moreso than the picture they made, what truly drove Gascon over the edge was hearing Reynard tease his queen.

“So eager, your majesty,” Reynard murmured softly. “Could it be that the company of the ever so honorable Duke of Dogs,” his voice was heavily sarcastic, “has gotten you excited? Are you curious what that infuriatingly charming mouth would feel like against your skin?”

Meve arched as Reynard’s fingers skirted just short of touching her clit. “Reynard,” she growled.

Gascon wasn’t certain when his fingers had slipped inside his trousers, but the touch against his cock had him shuddering, already overwhelmed at the very idea that Meve could be fantasizing about him.

“Have you thought about pushing the arrogant bastard to his knees and showing him his place?” Reynard continued and Gascon bit his lip hard against a moan. “Have you pictured him, lips stretched around your widest strap, eyes tearing up from the effort of it?”

Meve whined softly, reaching up to tug Reynard into a kiss.

Gascon had never seen a filthier kiss in his life, and he stroked himself faster, picturing what he would do if he could join them. She may not have a strap handy to gag him on, but he was sure they could come to a compromise.

“Do you imagine him kneeling before you, begging for you?” Reynard rumbled and Gascon almost missed Meve’s sound over his own. Which meant that Reynard knew he was there when the Count continued, “I’ve no doubt the crass mutt is a marvel with his mouth.

Later, Gascon would claim that he spoke before he could even think about it, proclaiming, “I am.”

In reality, he spent a long moment contemplating how to respond. Getting caught spying on sex typically ended one of two ways: either you got invited to join in or you got beaten to a pulp.

He was fairly hopeful that the first option was more likely than the latter, but he wasn’t sure, and in the seconds of silence that followed his words, his heart pounded in his chest and pulse raced and he felt on the edge of either agony or elation.

“In that case,” Meve’s voice broke the quiet with all the firmness of having made a decision, “come pay homage to your queen, Gascon.”

Even though he’d hoped this was how things would go, he still felt utterly amazed that she had actually said yes.

He stepped through the buses, trying not to look like he’d been caught with his hand down his pants. “Your Majesty,” he bowed his head with a playful smirk and then sent her a wink just to top it off.

Meve looked every bit the dignified queen as she held out a hand that should have held her signet ring. They had taken that from her when she’d been captured, but Gascon found himself licking his lips, taking her hand and kissing her ring finger as if he were a knight pledging her fealty.

Her gaze was hot on him as he slowly kissed up her arm, and unlike the two of them, he still wore his armor – which meant that he could pretend no one saw the way that his cock twitched when Reynard reached out and knocked his hat off, tangling fingers in his hair and pulling his face down into Meve’s chest.

Obediently, he applied himself to worshipping Meve’s tits, taking Reynard’s lead and only giving her glancing brushes across her nipples, denying her touch.

Meve growled in frustration, grabbing his hips and pulling him into her until the bulge of his cock rubbed over her pelvis. Her cunt greeted the contact with a gush of slick, staining Gascon’s pants and making him pant with arousal.

“Fuck,” he gasped, grinding into her. She arched with a cry, fingers digging into his ass and Gascon desperately wished that there wasn’t a layer of fabric between his cock and that glorious cunt. But how could he pull away to fix that when his time could be better spent licking and sucking and biting at Meve’s glorious tits? Gods, they were beautiful, plump and sensitive, to the point that nipping at one nipple while squeezing her other tit was enough to make Meve’s body jerk, bucking into his hips as she utterly drenched his pants.

“Fuck,” he whimpered again, then dropped to his knees and buried his face in her cunt.

Thronebreaker Headcanons:

Okay, so as I’ve been getting to know Meve, Reynard, and Gascon and have started writing different plots with them, I’ve decided a few things. There’s going to be 1 universe of fics that falls under the “homophobia exists” universe that I talked about here. However, I know that’s not everyone’s boat and like, sometimes I just wanna write context-less porn, so definitely not all fics will! But I have several ideas already in that ‘verse, especially looking at the chronic pain Reynard has as a result of things.

So, specific to that ‘verse, one headcanon is that Reynard was whipped specifically for being queer and almost died from it. The wounds healed, but not... well, not the greatest. There wasn’t a lotta care taken with it. Which means that his back pains him A LOT and there’s a lotta things that he has to do different. For example, I’ve decided he sits in chairs like Riker does, keeping his back straight so that he doesn’t stretch the scar tissue. His range of motion is also limited in a lot of ways, but he’s found ways to compensate and hide it over the years. (just as an FYI, Riker sits like that, ‘cause Frakes had a back injury and doing that was less painful)

Okay, now WITHOUT the homophobia that led to chronic pain - I’ve decided that each of the Throne3 need to have a niche hobby that occupies them in their limited spare time (developed with much help from @moonlights-ordinance). Sooooo:

Meve:

Meve likes sewing. She doesn’t like people to know she likes sewing, because it’s closer to a traditionally ‘feminine’ than she usually aims for, but she actually really enjoys it.

On their journey, this comes out when Gascon’s shirt gets ripped and when he complains about it a lot, she just grabs it and mends it. This leads to her spending the evenings mending all the different clothing from the soldiers and the Strays.

I think she learned sewing from her father and he taught it to her in an attempt to get her to just sit still for five fucking minutes!!

Not directly related to sewing, but because her mother was busy being queen, she was largely raised by her father, who was an Ofieri Marquis (like, 2nd level nobility, under a duke) whose family paid a substantial sum in order to win the match. He was not popular at court and therefore found himself largely shunned by the peerage, but it left him with basically all of his time to devote to his children. (Does... does Meve have sisters?? Queen Kalis supposedly bore several girls???)

Reynard:

Reynard likes to crochet. Specifically, he likes to crochet little plushies. He’s not too picky about what he makes, and whoever is in range when he finishes it will likely end up gifted with an unexpected plushie.

At one point, he finished making a stingray, only for a passing soldier to dub it a Sting-Rey. Thus, Lieutenant Sting Rey was born. The troops listen to Lt. Sting Rey better than they listen to General Odo lmao.

He has a habit of crocheting in the evenings in the mess (maybe with Meve mending nearby) and random soldiers (and Strays) like to sit around his feet so that when he finishes a lil plush, they might get it. And when he starts a new one, he might take requests.

I could say so much more about the plushies he makes for Gascon and Meve, but I guess I’ll save that for a fic. But I gotta share these pics, ‘cause they’re so fucking cute. So: a donkey for Gascon (’cause he’s an ass) and a Lyrian eagle for Meve (’cause it’s Lyrian lol).

Gascon:

Gascon likes dancing! Specifically, he was trained in ballet from a young age (like literally a year old is when you start, apparently) and was trained as a ballerina (meaning he will be lifted/led instead of doing the lifts/leading). By the time he ended up on the streets at 12 (8 in canon, but my guy needs to at least be 20), he was pretty damn good at it - and so he ended up teaching the Strays

The Strays have a ballet troupe that puts on performances for the gang on occasion as like, a bonus to music night or something. Semi-spontaneous and very fun.

Gascon is SCARY flexible (like, to the point that Reynard is a little horrified that the human body can do that) from dance and he definitely uses that to his advantage.

He 100% gets everyone to dress up all fancy and put on makeup and do their hair and shit. After all, they steal all this fancy shit from the nobles - why SHOULDN’T they enjoy it?

And there you have it! Sorry for the super long post, but also... enjoy?

#rorveth #isendain #throne3 #iorveth x roche #isengrim x eldain #meve x reynard x gascon #thronebreaker #the witcher #wip wednesday #fic planning

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rosiesandlilies · 4 years ago

Text

𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝

Roseanne Park x Female Reader

(7.1k words)

Sypnopsis: roseanne makes the mistake of dating korean soloist; y/n lee. when she leaves her with a broken heart, roseanne can't help but still want her. lisa comes along and manages to capture roseanne's heart, but each time roseanne stares into lisa's eyes, she sees y/n. ignoring the weird looks she receives from her family and friends when they see the close resemblance to the soloist - roseanne wants to love lisa and a part of her does, but she hates y/n for not letting her move on; especially when her eyes are closed.

A/N: This is originally my work posted on wattpad hehe, but I decided to post it on here to share with you guys~ hopefully you all will enjoy it :) Italics will be memories while Bold will be the interview process.

UN Village, Hannam The Hills, Seoul 3:00AM

Rosé's POV.

roseanne knows she shouldn't be doing this. she knows she shouldn't be watching a replay of her ex's interview for her latest single, the same single that roseanne helped her write. roseanne shouldn't be doing this, especially when lisa's sleeping a floor above her.

but she can't seem to care, not when she's done this hundreds of times.

roseanne watches the screen, she's replayed the interview two times already, each time, roseanne finds herself yearning for more. her fingers ache to touch y/n's supple skin, her lips tingle as she watches her ex-lover's lips move and smile.

roseanne's heart clenches, it squeezes and then explodes.

roseanne knew it was a bad idea to date a celebrity, a famous one at that. roseanne knew it was a bad idea to kiss the celebrity when she was warned that the girl wasn't one to 'commit.' all these bad decisions on her end, led her here; sneaking away from lisa's arms just to watch the one who broke her heart months ago.

"so tell us y/n, what's the meaning of this new song of yours?"

"well..it's about two lovers dating each other despite what the world around them thinks. they're willing to take risks and despite knowing how the game love works, they're putting their hearts on the line."

"what a beautiful meaning! how long have you worked on this song for?"

"around 10 months? it was on a whim actually, drinking cheap beer on top of a rooftop and boom, the idea popped out."

roseanne remembers that night like it was yesterday, y/n had surprised her at her work and suggested they take a better look at seoul. during that time, roseanne had no idea what she was talking about, but as soon as she was met with the cold breeze of seoul at night, she knew exactly what y/n was trying to say.

roseanne loved cheap beer and that was a fact that y/n apparently never forgot.

roseanne watches y/n look at the view in front of them, she tilts her head and lets it rest on y/n's shoulder. "what are you thinking of?" roseanne was curious to see inside the head of her lover. "nothing," y/n responded, gulping down the remainder of her beer before giving roseanne that smile that made her knees buckle. "that's not nothing, what's up baby?" roseanne takes y/n's hand in hers, feeling y/n close to her made her feel safe.

"i've just been stressed but that's not out of the ordinary," roseanne traces the tattoo on y/n's elbow. to roseanne, the tattoos that y/n got were beautiful, it fit the musician well and gave her that badass look that she loves so much. "is there anything i can do to help you de-stress?" roseanne asked innocently but her intentions were far from it. somehow, y/n always made her feel needy.

"you know i'd love nothing more than to please you, but you're tired and so am i. i just want to stay like this," roseanne feels a kiss getting planted on her head and she smiles. she's content and happy. if this was what heaven felt like, roseanne was glad to die tomorrow.

"okay..we can stay like this," roseanne looks out at the city view of seoul once more, her heart beating for the girl with tattoos sitting next to her. "i want to write a song," y/n suddenly blurted out. "oh yeah? what about?"

roseanne is sure she saw an angel with the way y/n was looking at her. post recording studio haze, brown hair messy, lips shining from the beer she's been nursing, eyes holding so much admiration; oozing with what roseanne believed was love. y/n looked absolutely stunning.

"about us." two words, yet roseanne felt like she was floating.

roseanne continues to watch the interview of y/n. she's dressed in lisa's shirt, lisa's sweatpants but she wished deep down that she was smelling the scent of y/n and not lisa.

"what are some of the crucial parts that your fans should look out for?"

"i don't necessarily think that there's crucial parts, i think the whole song is crucial and that they should look out for the whole thing."

"you said that someone had helped you write this song, do you mind telling us who helped you write it? was it jennie?"

roseanne scoffs, how could she forget? three months after the break up, y/n was already moved on with another girl. runway model jennie kim.

it hurts roseanne's heart to know just how easily replaceable she was to y/n. exactly a year has passed since the break up and it took roseanne eight whole months to get over y/n and another two just to date someone else. someone that creepily resembled y/n.

"uhm..no, it's not jennie who helped me write the song. it was actually a..friend of mine who helped me. she's a good writer."

"your credits for the song include a lot of brilliant producers and composers but one name caught our attention. for the lyric credits, you're credited but also someone who goes by ROSÉ was credited. is she the friend you're talking about?"

"...yeah. rosé is the friend i'm talking about."

"you have some very talented friends y/n,"

"yeah, they're all very talented."

"is this friend of yours an upcoming composer or lyricist?"

"no, she's actually just a normal human being with a normal occupation."

"your fans around the world are quite the detectives, they noticed the shift of tone and lyrics in the second half of the song. would you mind explaining your train of thought during the switch from being in love to sudden heart break?"

roseanne catches herself holding her breath. she hasn't listened to the new song yet, she was too afraid. afraid that if she does, she'll go back crawling to y/n and begging her to take her back despite her being the one who broke roseanne's heart.

she and lisa have something great going on, there's something blossoming and she's eager to know what it is and how it'll play out. will it be the same or will it not? something inside roseanne tells her that lisa is different, but she can't shake off the feeling of wanting to be back in y/n's arms, hearing her whisper lies that roseanne wishes were real.

"as i stated earlier, this song is also about putting your heart on the line, so in the beginning it's all happiness, potential love that the couple feels but as the song progresses like how a relationship progresses, it turned bitter and empty and i wanted to portray how the relationship went from beginning to end in the song. so as the relationship bloomed in the beginning, the song starts happy but as the relationship took a turn and became cold, the other half of the song turned empty. the song progresses the way the relationship progressed."

"that's really deep. it seems like it's personal to you, did you take on this song from personal experience?"

roseanne already knows how this part goes, she's watched it two times already, but that doesn't mean each time hurt any less, in fact, it hurt more.

"no. not from personal experience. like i said, it was just on a whim."

roseanne breaks down, her body shakes as she reaches for the remote and shuts off the television like an idiot. now that roseanne knew that she was just a 'whim' to y/n, she feels incredibly stupid for yearning for her.

she curls onto the blanket she brought down with her, she snuggles into lisa's sweatshirt and despite the pain seeping into the cracks that she temporarily fixed, she wished she was smelling y/n instead.

that laundry detergent smell mixed with flowers and cologne. roseanne wants to smell it again.

"rosie? baby?" roseanne sits up, a dark figure blocking her view. roseanne is engulfed in the same scent on her clothes, "yeah lisa?"

roseanne watches the tall girl take a seat beside her. her big brown eyes shining despite the darkness in the room. "what are you doing down here baby? i woke up and you weren't by my side," lisa pouts and roseanne can't help the giggle that escapes her mouth. her eyes trained on lisa's lips and she suddenly remembers a different pair. "i'm sorry babe..i just couldn't fall back asleep and i didn't want to disturb you with my tossing and turning," roseanne lets the lies flow right out of her mouth. she didn't want to but she was used to it.

"can we go back to bed then? i promise i'll find a way to make you fall asleep," lisa tucks her head into roseanne's neck and starts kissing the soft skin. roseanne bites her lip and closes her eyes, she feels her heart speed up at the memory of y/n doing the exact same thing. "close your eyes rosie.." roseanne complies, and sucks in a breath when y/n kisses her pulse point just behind her left ear. lisa continues to suck on her pulse point, sucking then nipping before kissing it, this action continues and when roseanne opens up her eyes, y/n's gone.

"let's go back to bed?" lisa asks, her breath quiet as her lips hover over roseanne's. roseanne squeals when lisa lifts her up by her thighs and tugs off her own sweatshirt around the lilac's torso, leaving her naked from the top up.

roseanne lets herself enjoy being in lisa's arms. somewhere deep inside her, her heart beats, it's not quick, but it beats steadily and it beats for lisa,

not y/n.

roseanne regrets choosing an occupation that involved tattooing people, she should curse her love for art. why did she try so hard to become a tattoo artist in one of seoul's most exclusive parlours? one where wealthy celebrities loved visiting? why did she decide to stay at the exact place where she met y/n?

because if she just became more independent, she wouldn't have to see y/n with a certain jennie kim on her arm.

"oye! y/n! you're back, i was wondering when you'd be back!" hanbin, one of the tattooists, exclaims. y/n doesn't spare roseanne a glance, why would she? she has a new girl toy on her arm. roseanne smells the same scent, roseanne sees the same eyes she's still hopelessly in love with.

"yeah, decided to get a new ink. are there any new designs?" roseanne watches as y/n's hand tightly grasps jennie's, their bodies flush together and their smiles exclusively for each other. jisoo – roseanne's best friend and one of the few people who knew what went down between roseanne and y/n – speaks up.

"do you need me to beat her to a pulp?" jisoo asks, her hands already in fists but roseanne can't find it in her heart to see y/n hurt. "no unnie, it's okay," roseanne looks back down and restarts her sketch that got interrupted when the brunette haired girl walked in with her runway model girlfriend. "what are you drawing rosie?" roseanne looks at her drawing and sees a pair of eyes staring back at hers. "oooh, did little rosie draw lisa's eyes?" jisoo coos and roseanne wants to cry,

because it's not lisa's eyes.

"random set of eyes, i guess." roseanne shrugs and pretends to be unaffected, but she's so affected, especially when she sees y/n kissing jennie kim as they look through tattoo designs.

hanbin shoots roseanne a pitiful look, he was friends with both her and y/n. 'are you okay?' hanbin mouths to her and roseanne just gives a tight lipped smile. "i'll be in the back unnie, call me when there's another customer," jisoo nods and takes over roseanne's spot on the counter.

roseanne sits on the bean bag in the back, she puts a hand on her heart, begging it to stop beating so badly. she doesn't want to, but she can't help but reminisce. she reminisces on the time y/n held her hand like that, she reminisces on the time y/n kissed her like that, she reminisced on the time y/n brought her with her to get another tattoo, one that roseanne drew and tattooed herself on y/n's arm. the intimacy y/n showed her made roseanne believe that it was so much more. it made her believe it was real.

y/n was her lover, y/n was her liar.

"hey rosie! you have a visitor," roseanne furrows her eyebrows, it was eight in the evening, who would visit her during this time? roseanne gets up from the bean bag and doesn't think too much when she sees jisoo's smirking face.

walking up to the counter where she was moments ago, her eyes train on a tall slim figure. brown doe eyes, brown hair, lips as plump as pillows. lisa. her lisa was standing before her, holding a plastic bag in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other. "hi baby," for some odd reason, roseanne looks to where y/n was and hoped she'd see, but she doesn't or she just doesn't care to.

"hi babe," roseanne can't help but smile when lisa smiles back at her, the crinkle to her eyes, the pearly white teeth. it looked similar to another brown haired girl but roseanne shakes that thought out of her head. "what brings you here? i thought you had a business conference in Thailand?" lisa shakes her head and moves her way towards roseanne, roseanne eagerly takes lisa's hand and intertwines them. she felt rather safe in lisa's presence. "i couldn't help not seeing you so i flew back earlier. i brought your favourites," it was at that moment that roseanne could smell the flowery-cologne she grew to love. she turns away from lisa and sees y/n at the counter with jennie. roseanne turns desperately to see if jisoo was at the counter, but she curses when she sees jisoo tending to another customer and hanbin already starting on a new tattoo for a customer.

roseanne gives lisa an apologetic smile and lisa just squeezes her hand, "go ahead, i'll be right beside you," roseanne was glad that y/n was busy on her phone or else it would've been awkward for her to see her with someone else that looked eerily like her. it was either, roseanne had a type, or y/n was roseanne's only type.

roseanne clears her throat to bring y/n's attention away from her phone. y/n looks up and roseanne gets lost in the swirls of brown coffee. "hey rosie," y/n smiles and roseanne hates her for it. "hi," roseanne responds, "you know her baby?" jennie asks, her tone light and full of curiosity, "yeah, a friend," y/n responds easily, almost like she's rehearsed that line countless times. "hey chae, y/n just picked a design today, you can just charge her ₩20,000 for it," hanbin calls out to her when he sees that y/n made it to the counter.

roseanne nods and punches in a few numbers on the cashier before the money box pops open. "₩23,000 please," roseanne can't take her eyes off of y/n. the girl was wearing a black leather jacket with jeans that shaped her legs so well and black Blundstone boots. everything about y/n just screamed 'badass' and that was exactly what roseanne loved. she loved the look of danger that y/n had to her doll like face, it was like a breath of fresh air seeing how y/n was. y/n was something out of roseanne's element and during the time she had her, roseanne loved every bit of risk she took.

"cash or card?" roseanne asks, and y/n pulls out her black credit card. "card rosie," y/n sends her a smile and roseanne just wants to slap her, get mad at her and then kiss her. she hates that y/n is acting like nothing significant happened to them, she hates how y/n is smiling at her like she didn't have someone new on her arm, someone that easily replaced her. someone easily more beautiful than roseanne replaced her in y/n's life after just three months.

y/n was the epitome of a dick, a player but roseanne can't help but be desperate for more. she loved the danger she felt when she was with y/n.

after y/n paid and sent roseanne another smile that she was sure was going to kill her, she left. she didn't spare roseanne another glance, instead she kissed the model on the forehead and led her out by the waist.

"now that that's over, want to head to the back and eat?" right, lisa is here. roseanne turns to her and nods, slipping her hand into lisa's to mask the pain of seeing y/n. "thank you lisa," roseanne says because she is thankful for the taller girl, lisa smiles and kisses roseanne on the forehead, roseanne closes her eyes and suddenly it's y/n who's kissing her head.

the flowery-cologne smell that roseanne loved engulfed her nose as y/n leaned forward and kissed her tenderly on the head, "you have nothing to be afraid of rosie..i'm here, you have all of me."

"of course pretty girl, i'd do anything for you," roseanne knows that line all too well, her past partners were brilliant at saying that line but never meaning it, but something deep inside roseanne knocks and makes her believe for a split second that maybe, just maybe, lisa did mean it.

and when roseanne opens up her eyes again, y/n vanishes and it's lisa who's speaking to her, eyes filled with something y/n never had...

then something clicks in roseanne; lisa meant it.

roseanne thought it was a good idea too. lisa suggested going on a candle lit dinner at a restaurant that overlooked all of seoul, it was going well, she was laughing at lisa's attempts to come up with jokes, she was listening intently at lisa's stories and lisa was listening intently to hers.

but when lisa excused herself to go to the bathroom, it started again.

roseanne looked down and saw herself wearing the same dress she wore to the candle lit dinner y/n brought her to last year. roseanne had millions of dresses, dresses she's bought herself and dresses lisa has bought her but her hands unconsciously moved to the little black dress that she wore the night y/n brought her to a candle lit dinner.

the music was playing, a quiet jazz band that y/n had hired for them was playing a tune roseanne knew all too well. "you really made them play 'love' by nat king cole?" y/n shrugged, her off the shoulder dress riding up and down her arms. "you love that song, how can i not?" roseanne laughed, her hand covering her mouth. "stop covering your mouth," y/n pouted and roseanne scrunched her eyebrows together, "why?"

"i like seeing your whole face when you laugh, i think it's beautiful," roseanne was sure she died and then was resurrected because she felt her brain short circuit. "i didn't tell you earlier but you look stunning tonight, every day you do but something about you in this little black dress has you looking different," roseanne shifted in her seat under the gaze of y/n that made her feel like she was going to melt right then and there. "i think you look extra beautiful tonight y/n/n, you're always beautiful," y/n flips her hair and giggles, the sound making its way into roseanne's heart and staying there, rent free.

"i know rosie, i get compliments on my looks every day.." roseanne looked down in embarrassment, of course y/n would know how beautiful she was, literally everyone in the world reminded her every day. "-but it feels different coming from you."

roseanne's smile came back and y/n holds her hand on top of the table, "do you want to dance with me? i've been told that i have mad dance skills," roseanne glares at y/n and slaps her lightly, "oh yeah? and who exactly told you that?" roseanne was never jealous, she could care less if her partners had other partners before her, but y/n just ignited something in her, a fiery fire that held possessiveness.

y/n smiles her cheeky smile while pulling roseanne up to her feet despite her resisting. "says my mom," y/n winks at her and roseanne can't help but slap the girl.

"i hate you," roseanne mutters as y/n takes her in her arms and sways her softly to the beat of the music.

"no you don't,"

and y/n was right, roseanne didn't. she never could, because she loved her.

"rosie? baby?" roseanne didn't realize that lisa was in front of her before it was too late. a tear escaped her eyes then another. lisa is looking at her with so much confusion but roseanne really doesn't want to answer questions. roseanne is desperate for something to grab onto, something she can squeeze to make the tears stop from flowing. but she finds nothing, so she pushes her chair back and swats at lisa's hands.

"s-sorry.." she mutters before running out of the restaurant.

roseanne breathes in the cold air of seoul, her body was shaking, her tears were flowing freely down her cheeks, ruining her makeup she worked so hard on. she hated y/n, she hated her. she hated how she still controlled her heart, she hated how she still lived in her mind. roseanne hated how y/n still had power over her, a power that she can't seem to shake away no matter how long or how much she tries, it's not going away and roseanne hates it. she needs to move on, she needs to not care anymore, but each time her eyes close, y/n's stupidly beautiful face is staring back at her, taunting her because it knows that she'll never move on. she'll never move on from y/n. the stupid soloist who captured her heart and never bothered to give it back; roseanne is still desperately begging for each piece of her heart back.

"roseanne?! chaeyoung?!" roseanne hears footsteps approaching her, lisa's dress shoes clacking on the cement. roseanne continues to shake, breathing unsteady and hands shaking. "rosie..baby, what's going on?" roseanne hears lisa's voice and it's like the light at the end of a tunnel. she can't help but turn around and melt into the embrace that lisa allows her to take. she sinks deeper into lisa, closer, scratching to hear lisa's heart, she needs to hear something, feel something other than the beating of her own heart. a heart that beats for y/n but a piece that beats for lisa.

"tell me what's wrong rosie..please," roseanne knows it's a good idea to tell her current lover about her ex and the tragic story that took place, one that fucked up her heart and mind, but she can't find it in herself to tell lisa. maybe she just doesn't want to go back to the good days where she was sure y/n loved her or maybe she just doesn't want to tell lisa because if she does, she'll be able to move on and despite needing to, a conflicting part of roseanne wants the memories of y/n to stay.

so roseanne doesn't and lisa doesn't push her.

instead, she kisses roseanne's lips and roseanne temporarily gets lost in the thai girl who was holding her.

"don't you think lisa looks..just a little bit like y/n..?" jisoo asks slowly, careful with her words so she doesn't hurt roseanne. "what? where'd you get that from unnie?" roseanne plays coy, "you know what i'm talking about roseanne. lisa, your current lover looks like y/n lee. the looks, the personality, the fucking height, have you gone mad rosie?" caution was out the window, jisoo was tired of seeing roseanne hurt herself over and over again. they were best friends for a reason.

"they aren't alike unnie," jisoo gives roseanne the 'what the fuck' face and roseanne lowers her head, she was waiting for this day to come, ever since she told jisoo she was seeing lisa, she already knew by the look in the older girl's eyes that she saw what roseanne saw, but it just surprised her that it took her this long to bring it up.

"your own mom is scared for you rosie, lisa looks like y/n and acts like y/n, the only difference is that lisa is the owner of LM International while y/n is a singer, a popular singer at that. they're both rich too. rosie, i'm saying this because i love you, but you have to move on from y/n. it's clear that she doesn't give a fuck about you because if she did, she wouldn't have found a new girl just three months after you two broke up."

roseanne lets out an exasperated sigh, she tugs at her lilac locks and looks at jisoo with tear filled eyes. "you don't you think i've tried jisoo? i've tried for eight months jisoo! i've tried to move on for eight fucking months unnie but each time i feel like it's getting better, she slips back into my thoughts, into my memories and i hate my fucking self because some part of me wants it. i know she doesn't care, i know she never loved me but if you were in my position and spent more than a year with her, you'd understand how i feel. she treated me like she loved me, she made me feel like i was the only one for her. she made me believe what we had was so beautiful and real, and i was the stupid one who believed it all. she has a game, everyone around me warned me, but for the time we were together, she made me believe like it wasn't."

roseanne drops to her knees and buries her face into her arms because it hurts, it hurts so fucking much that roseanne doesn't know if it'll ever go away. jisoo joins her because she's hurting for roseanne. the younger girl doesn't deserve to go through this, roseanne doesn't deserve to be left like a stray dog all because she was in love, in love with a person who made her believe it was real.

"i-i love lisa..i know i do, but each time i face her, each time i look into her eyes, i see y/n."

it was dinner time when roseanne got the notification. lisa was happily talking about something that happened in work and roseanne was paying attention, that was until her phone chimed and a post notification popped up. 'ynlee' posted a photo. roseanne knows she shouldn't have her ex's post notifications on, but she can't find it in herself to remove it.

instead of a selfie, a picture of a scenery, or a goofy picture with jennie - it's a picture of jennie sitting naked on a stool. jennie has her breasts covered, her legs crossed, and a hand on her stomach.

roseanne's stomach churned, she wasn't stupid to know what the photo was about, but she didn't want to believe it. she couldn't believe it. they were together for a lesser time than she and y/n were. it can't be real.

but then roseanne sees the millions of likes piling up, the comments rapidly increasing and the caption.

the caption is where roseanne's heart shatters into a million little pieces, the caption is what makes all of roseanne's efforts fly out the window. eight months and counting wasted and down the drain all because of one caption. one photo.

'ynlee: hello world, we're pregnant.'

roseanne's phone drops to the ground and she's struggling to breathe, the room is suddenly spinning.

all roseanne can hear and make out is lisa's figure going to her in a panicked state, calling out her name in a scared voice, before everything turns black.

"rosie? rosie?" roseanne flutters her eyes open and is greeted with a concerned looking lisa and jisoo. "thank fuck roseanne, i thought you were going to die," the said woman sits up and rubs her eyes, "what happened?" lisa takes her hand into her own and strokes the soft skin, the action making roseanne smile. "you fainted when you were on your phone so i called over doctor bae and she's coming back with your test results."

roseanne sits still on the bed, her hand un-moving against lisa's. suddenly, everything came back to her like a freight truck.

her ex, the pregnancy.

oh how roseanne wished she'd just continue sleeping on forever. "how long have i been passed out for?" jisoo grabs roseanne a cup of water and places it on the bedside table. "three hours," lisa stands up and looks at her phone, "doctor joohyun is here. i'll go down to the lobby and let her up," lisa gives roseanne a sweet smile before pecking her forehead then leaning down to kiss her lips. "ew! you're going to be gone for like a minute lisa, stop trying to jump my best friend," jisoo pushes the younger girl away and makes a disgusted face when lisa pouts.

as soon as lisa's footsteps are gone, jisoo sits on the bed. "i opened your phone and it opened up to y/n's new post," roseanne avoids jisoo's eyes. she's guilty and she knows it. she shouldn't have been checking on her ex's instagram page.

"unnie-"

"no. you don't get 'unnie' me this time chaeyoung. she gives zero fucks about you, why are you still trying to get her attention," roseanne felt highly offended by what jisoo had said. she wasn't begging for y/n's attention, she just didn't know how to let it be when she still held onto the memories of the soloist. "i am not trying to get her attention," jisoo gets up roughly and takes roseanne's phone. she opens it up and shoves y/n's profile in roseanne's face. "you have her fucking post notifications on roseanne! why are you doing this to yourself? you have an amazing girl that's loving you right now, shouldn't that be enough?! why do you have to seek validation with this asshole?"

roseanne held onto the sheets beneath her. now wasn't the right time to blow up and expose herself of secrets she's kept for the past year or so.

y/n's warmth, her smile, her voice, the way she made roseanne feel. it all felt so real, so good and roseanne wasn't ready to come off that high. "she's moved on chaeyoung. i don't know how many times you have to hear this, but she's moved on. she doesn't love you, she loves jennie. she's about to start a family, it's time for you to let her go and love the girl who's doing her best to fix you and love you. lisa is right there chaeyoung, she holds you when y/n doesn't. she loved you when y/n didn't. she's there and y/n isn't. you have to realize that and remember that, because no matter how hard you try to pretend, no matter how hard you try to close your eyes and imagine y/n in front of you, you'll only be met with reality."

jisoo shoves the phone into roseanne's hand and the lilac girl stares at it, she stares at it hard and wants to cry, but she can't.

"-and that reality is...lisa isn't y/n. so you either let y/n go and let yourself move on, or let lisa go and stop wasting her time."

at that moment, lisa walked in with joohyun, "hey guys- did we interrupt something?" lisa quickly notices roseanne's eyes and how sad they look, lisa quickly realizes that jisoo isn't all smiley as she was minutes ago.

"no. i was just talking to rosie about something. i'll get going now lisa, tell me how it goes after," jisoo quickly leaves and roseanne is stuck with all the words her best friend has put into her mind.

if she were to let y/n go, how different would her relationship with lisa turn out?

love is all same, the same game, what difference would it be with lisa? roseanne doesn't know but she's sinking and she needs to find out soon.

"we ran some tests while you were sleeping rosie just in case anything has actually happened, but your results came back and you're perfectly fine. you're a little too exhausted so i suggest you rest more and also eat more, i noticed you've been getting thinner," joohyun turns to lisa and pats her on the shoulder. "make sure she eats lis," lisa smiles brightly and roseanne looks away, she can't handle that right now. not when lisa looks exactly like y/n.

it was a bright afternoon when roseanne walked into lisa's home office. the two have been exclusive for months now and lisa's home became roseanne's home. after weeks of trying to process it all, accept it all and try to move on from it all, roseanne was stuck. she couldn't. she wanted to but didn't want to. she needed to but it was heavy on her heart to hold onto the memories of y/n, it was just too good to let go.

"lisa?"

after working on countless reports and business proposals, lisa finally looked up from the computer and papers on her desk. "yes baby?" taking her glasses off, she finally sees roseanne walking towards her. "i need...i need to tell you something," lisa immediately pushes off her chair and motions for roseanne to sit on her lap.

roseanne holds herself from reminiscing on a certain memory with y/n when she sees lisa opening her arms wide for her to cuddle into.

"rosie? what are you doing here?" y/n has been working in the studio non-stop lately and roseanne was starting to feel lonely. "i..i needed to see you," y/n smiles that boyish smile that roseanne absolutely adored. "really? well why don't you come here and sit on my lap," y/n pats her jean covered thighs and takes off her earphones that have been on for hours.

roseanne doesn't protest and immediately sits on y/n's thighs, the muscular flesh flexed when roseanne's bare thighs sat on them. "i like your dress baby," y/n caresses roseanne's thigh lightly and plays with the flow of the sun dress. sun dresses always matched roseanne, it was like seeing the sun and moon together, it just fit.

"thank you y/n/n.." roseanne hid her face in y/n's neck. sighing in contentment at being in the arms of her lover once again, she plants small kisses onto the soft skin.

inhaling a breath full of roseanne's scent, y/n feels her heart beat. it beats slow, then fast until y/n doesn't know how to suppress it. "what's been on your mind beautiful?" roseanne looks up and sees y/n looking down at her with warm eyes, the same eyes that held so much dedication and love. roseanne was certain she was in love.

"i love you."

three words, eight letters. how could that weigh so much? y/n had no idea, all she knew was that her heart was threatening to leave her chest and hop into roseanne's hands.

instead of saying it back, y/n smiles, kisses roseanne's lips and whispers a tender:

"i know."

"roseanne? are you alright?" roseanne looks up at lisa and she notices that she hasn't moved from her spot at all. "oh..sorry baby," roseanne walks and lands herself on lisa's lap. the thai woman wraps her arms around the tattoo artist and perches her chin on roseanne's shoulder. "what do you want to talk about?"

"i have to tell you something," roseanne turns herself so that she's straddling lisa's lap. the younger girl takes roseanne's stray hair and tucks it behind her ear. "talk to me beautiful, tell me what's on your mind."

this is it. pour your heart out and tell the truth. you got this roseanne.

"i don't know if i fully love you.." maybe it wasn't the right thing to say first but roseanne had to be truthful and this was her being truthful. sure, the look on lisa's face hurt roseanne's heart but she needed to continue. she didn't want to keep lisa in the dark, she wasn't like that.

"...because some parts of my heart belongs to someone else." lisa doesn't stop stroking roseanne's cheek even when she was breaking her heart. something in her knew that roseanne was worth it, so she didn't mind getting hurt for the girl that was going to be worth it all in the end.

"who's that someone else rosie? let me help you forget them,"

"y/n lee."

"i was hoping it wasn't her..but i guess i was right," roseanne's eyes go wide and she looks at lisa with confusion in her features. "what?"

"i didn't want to admit it that time, but i saw the way you looked at her chae, in the tattoo shop. you looked at her with longing eyes as she walked away with the brown haired girl."

roseanne cups lisa's cheek, she brings their foreheads together and she weeps. "i'm sorry, i'm so sorry.." lisa doesn't get mad, lisa doesn't thrash around and scream at her, instead, lisa holds her tighter than ever before; kisses her forehead and says, "i'd do anything for you, pretty girl. you can break my heart, i'll embrace it."

roseanne has heard that many times before, men and women have said it to her but none ever meant it. but something inside roseanne was knocking, itching and wanting to be let in.

somehow roseanne knew that lisa meant it.

5 Years Later

"baby?!" roseanne gets up from her knees after finding the missing pair from her socks. "yes lisa?!" roseanne chuckles when she hears lisa run up the stairs, "are we good to go? do you have everything you need?" roseanne nods and walks up to lisa, she wraps her arms around the girl and plants her lips on lisa's cheek. "i do baby, everything's good. we can go."

lisa turns to her and caresses her stomach. "perfect."

the resort was filled with equally as important people like lisa but roseanne was there to enjoy her stay and make new memories. "i'll go check us in, is that alright with you baby?" roseanne nods and lets go of lisa's hand. "i'll stay here and wait for you then," lisa kisses the lilac girl on the forehead before walking off to the receptionist.

roseanne watches lisa walk away, she sighs in content at the realization that lalisa manoban is all hers.

"roseanne?" roseanne turns to that voice, that voice that used to haunt her in her sleep and torment her everyday life.

"y/n."

y/n smiles and notices that roseanne is all by herself. "i didn't think i'd see you here," roseanne shrugs and laughs when she sees the amount of Chanel bags y/n had around her. "lisa just purchased this resort so she wanted us to experience it," roseanne plays with the golden band on her finger and y/n watches her do so.

"where's jennie?" roseanne asks. if this were five years, that name would've stung her mouth greatly. "she's on a call right now," roseanne nods and watches as the girl looks down to her stomach. "how long?"

"two months," roseanne's smile grows even bigger when she remembers the human growing inside of her. pure joy and love spreads through her body. "how are your kids?"

"they're doing great, really great."

no more words are exchanged between them, only their eyes talk.

finally having enough of the silence, y/n opens her mouth to talk but gets interrupted when a small body crashes into roseanne's legs.

"mommy! you're here!" y/n looks down at the black haired boy with big eyes looking up at roseanne. "hi baby, how'd you find me?"

"jaehyun! i told you not to run off like that," lisa runs towards roseanne and jaehyun, not noticing the other figure standing with them. "sorry mama, halmeoni let me!" lisa chuckles and ruffles her son's hair only now noticing y/n standing with them.

"oh. hey y/n," y/n smiles and nods her head politely.

"i won't keep you roseanne. it was nice seeing you rosie," roseanne smiles at her ex and tightens her hold on lisa's hand. "it was nice seeing you as well y/n," y/n turns around when she gets called by jennie. the brown haired girl was finished on the phone and was waving over for her wife.

"i gotta go, jennie's calling for me. it was lovely seeing you as well lisa."

both lisa and roseanne watch y/n walk off and end up in the arms of jennie, both women watch as jennie kisses y/n's cheek and y/n kisses her on the lips.

"you good to go rosie?" lisa breaks the silence and bends down to carry jaehyun. the toddler got tired easily. roseanne takes one last stare at y/n, her heart is beating normally, she doesn't feel a longing on her heart.

she smiles contently and turns to face lisa. her lisa. the lisa who gave her kids and continues to love her through thick and thin, through her break downs and through her successes. "yeah..i'm good to go baby," lisa smiles and roseanne's heart flutters.

it flutters out of her chest and into the sky.

they walk away, hand in hand and when roseanne closes her eyes...

...all she sees is lisa.

- fin.

#blackpink imagines #blackpink #blackpink scenarios #roseanne park #chaelisa #jisoo kim #jennie kim #lisa manoban #female reader #kpop fanfic #rosé park #kpop

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rpmemesbyarat · 3 years ago

Conversation

RP meme from Werewolf: The Apocalypse "Kinfolk: Unsung Heroes" Introduction & Ch.1

"I have normal human fears and frailties, despite my faith."

"I’m terrified I won’t be there when they need me, that I won’t be able to give fully of myself to save them when the time comes. And the price of my failure, for them, would be too high."

"It was like nothing else mattered, nothing else could fill my eyes like the sight of him."

"Now, of course, I realize I was in shock at the time clammy skin, disorientation, that sort of thing."

"That night misted over my senses; even now, it seems more like a vivid dream than anything else."

"I had to watch. I couldn’t turn away."

"That night, I saw I had to protect him. He needed me, and it’s just as simple as that."

"Let’s just say what I know has come in handy."

"The best folks give the most of whatever they can."

"Think about it — would you like to go through childbirth every nine months from age 14 to 50?"

"We’re human beings, dammit!"

"I’ll always do anything I can to help, even if I’m royally pissed; I don’t expect thanks or money, either. But it would be nice to get some respect."

"I'm not alone in saying that I hate being patronized."

"Give an inch, they’ll take a mile" is what some of them think about us."

"The rhetoric a lot of them use sounds like the same crap bigots give when trying to “justify” why women and minorities shouldn’t have equal rights."

"Just once, I’d like to feel like an equal, a partner in all this."

"Ever think about how hard things would be without us?"

"I see by your scowl that doesn’t satisfy you."

"Think of it as normal family responsibilities, magnified a thousand times."

"It’s practically medieval!"

"I mean, it looks like such fun to turn into a wolf."

"There are connections like you wouldn’t believe. Completely outside the law, these people can get dirt on the opposition, perform b&e without leaving a trace and provide muscle no other boss can beat. All they ask is some capital, some boltholes and a little legal cover. Sweetest deal in the world!"

"What do I think about it? Imagine what it’d be like for someone to call you and say you’d missed out on a million dollars because you got one wrong number on the lottery ticket."

"Some are too caught up in the things of humans —chasing after money to have what advertisers insist they can’t do without, living their soap-opera lives and not seeing what the world is really all about. I pity them."

"There is sweeter revenge than death."

"I laugh with joy thinking how your heart will burst should you ever have to face him in battle."

"It’s a great honor to be who I am, who we are. But it’s scary, too."

"Families can quarrel, snarl and cut one another to the quick, but in times of trouble, they’ll stick together."

"God, Allah, Gaia, the Great Spirit or whoever gave us this job, so we have to do the best we can with it."

"Blood also fetters our lives in hatred as well as love, I’m afraid to say."

"I’m not saying this is a fact, but if she was abused, it might explain some things."

"I’m sorry, I can’t quite imagine a moment of sensual passion with someone I don’t love, much less hardly know!"

"In other words, it’s the connections that’re vital, not the money or the mileage."

"Many have wealth, but not all; lineage, not money, is most important."

"That’s a heavy price to pay in a harsh world."

"Self-sacrifice is also important."

"Sacrifice comes in terms of emotional costs, too."

"It’d be pretty stupid for me to become a gun-toting mercenary, for example."

"To put a positive spin on all this, I guess I’d say it’s nice to be needed."

"I admit I don’t really understand what it is or when it’ll be, but many’s the Irish tale where a small oversight wreaked terrible disaster."

"So I got online and made a few phone calls and tried to get the “truth” in as many forms as I could."

"The word “family” has come to mean a lot more things than the 1950s concept of mommy, daddy and two perfect children."

"Raising children is no bed of roses, either."

"Kids love to test their parents and see just how far they can push and still get away with it."

"There’s no way this could be easy."

"Some days, I have to bite my tongue, and that does get old."

"I was just too stupid and blind to see it."

"I always felt like I was split, alone, part of something I couldn’t name."

"Listen, you have no idea what it’s like to watch someone you love slowly lose her mind."

"There are some, well, bimbos."

"You know, the ones that like to control CEOs and topple careers."

"Here, try a piece of this chicken gizzard. I get ’em real cheap down at the butcher shop. No one else seems to want these extra parts. I grill ’em with a little barbecue sauce and honey mustard. Delicious! Thanksgiving’s always the best time, though. Then there’s turkey necks for the takin’!"

"Our families are pretty big, and we figure even the most distant cousin or friend of a friend’s part of the group."

"I’m sure you know, working with people all the time, how far thanks and a friendly smile go when you’re dead on your feet. It’s like the sun’s come out on a cloudy day."

"I mean, some of that stuff is long outdated!"

"It’s more a matter of belief and pureness of spirit, if you ask me."

"The Network also has a lot of splinter groups that organize among youth, educators, environmentalists and so on."

"We’re steadfast and steady, yet vibrant and alive, warriors, artists, writers, musicians beyond compare."

"I don’t know if we can save them, but we won’t give up."

"To be tested and accepted by the greatest warriors in the world — no greater honor can we ask for."

"Think of us as the tiny little parts that hold a machine together. Maybe it could function without us, but not without a lot of wear and tear on the system. You get my drift."

"If leader seems weak, I test him. He shows strength, I stop."

"They’re the ones who are causing all the problems by rebelling against the people in charge. They need to settle down and just be content with what they’ve got, if you want my opinion."

"Why should I worry? It’s a clear day. Traffic’s light, but walking’s fine. You get to see where you’re going. I’ll hit a little town ’fore dark and trade a song or story for some food and a piece of floor."

"Revolutions are intolerable and inexcusable."

"The aristocracy attained their positions for a reason, for only the most worthy were chosen to lead, after all. If the

lower classes overthrow the aristocrats, anarchy is the sure result. One need only look at history; Can the Russians truly say their lot improved after they murdered the Romanovs?"

"History has always been a beloved subject to me."

"I pity those souls, displaced by fortune, who are ignorant of their heritage. How can one know who he is without knowing where he comes from? A man — or woman — is the sum of all who came before."

"Money is not the issue; many great families lost their fortunes, yet retain their nobility."

"It’s a poor teacher who doesn’t learn from her student; in this way, the knowledge of both increases."

"Dreams, of course, are the pathways of our souls; here rest our secret desires, fears and hopes."

"You doubt me. You don’t speak against me, but I can see your heart is dubious."

"There’s no greater glory than to serve the destiny of the universe."

"The lacerations looked exactly like the work of sharp teeth, deep into his flesh."

"I won’t go s’far as to say there’s undying loyalty, but we do have a lot of respect for each other."

"Were I as capable as my ancestors, I’d kill you now and never spare a second thought."

"No atonement can replace those lost children."

"Thus far, we have been lucky, but it’s just a matter of time before someone we don’t want sneaks in. It’s not that I want to close ranks by any means; I just wish we paid a little closer attention to who came in from the cold."

"Yeah, yeah, I know you think we’re a dime a dozen. I’d like to believe we’re a little more special than most."

"We’ve built too much for a rotten apple to spoil it all."

"I don’t believe this guy; it seems almost too perfect to be true!"

#rp meme #rp memes #rp starters #roleplay meme #roleplay starters #roleplay memes #Werewolf the Apocalypse #wta #World Of Darkness #owod #kinfolk

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americancowgirl19 · 4 years ago

Text

Her Soldier

Summary: Sam gets drafted for the Vietnam war a couple days after he turns 18. Right before he leaves, he meets you.

Warnings: Angst, death, fluff, small age gap (like 2/3 years),

Reader: Female Reader

Pairings: Vietnam Soldier Sam Winchester x Female Reader

Word Count: 4,565

A/n: Based off the song ‘Travelin’ Soldier’ by Dixie Chicks.. I swear I almost cry every time I hear this song so hopefully I can make others cry

Masterlist

The café you worked at was dead. The only customer in the whole place is the old man at the bar sipping on his coffee rereading the newspaper for the hundredth time. You didn’t mind the old man lingering around. He’s sweet and just wants to be around people instead of his empty house. So, when he asks for a refill for the dozenth time you give it to him with a small smile and begin a short conversation with him.

When he returns to looking at his newspaper you begin wiping tables down. Nobody’s sat at them since the last time you wiped them down but it gave you something to do.

As you reached the last table, the doorbell rang signaling someone coming in. You turned around to great them but the words die in your throat. The customer that had entered is a tall broad man dressed in an army uniform. He shed his hat and sets his bag down.

His eyes scan the place before falling on you. You’re taken back by the color in his eyes. They’re captivating along with the smile that spreads across his lips.

“Can I uh... Just sit anywhere?” He asks, fiddling with his cap in his hands. His question snaps you out of your daze.

“Oh, yeah, of course,” You nod quickly, a light blush coming to your cheeks. “Wherever you like,” You tell him. He nods to you before taking his bag and choosing a booth by the window.

You take a deep breath, thankful his back is to you. You take a moment to calm yourself knowing it’s useless. The moment you regain his attention you’ll be a stuttering mess.

You work in an old rundown café, not many attractive men come in. When they do come strolling in another waitress always snatches them before you do. Although, you don’t put up a fight seeing that you’re anxiety usually keeps you from actively approaching them. However, today you’re the only waitress.

“What, uh.. What can I get you?” You ask, thankful you didn’t stutter too much. He flashes you a smile, although you notice a been of nervousness in his posture. He shifts in his seats and gives you his order.

You bring him is water and leave him be. You wait by the bar for his food to finish cooking. You try not to stare but your gaze keeps falling on him. You watch his leg bounce under the table and how he shifts every few seconds. His head turns from looking outside to down at the table.

You felt bad for him. You knew what was going on in the world and you knew that where he was going is dangerous. You older brother had been drafted to the army. Plus, at night, you heard your parents talking to each other about all the bad stuff going on over seas.

“Order up!” The cook snaps, breaking you from your thoughts. You grab the plate and carry it to the handsome man.

“Here ya go,” You say, feeling even worse when he jumps. You give him a small smile setting the plate in front of him. “Enjoy,”

“Hey,” He says, quickly when you turn to walk away. You look at him, smiling a bit when he struggles to find his words. “Do you mind sitting with me?” He asks, shyly. “I could use someone to talk to,” He tells you, pressing his lips together. Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t say no to him.

“I’m off in an hour,” You tell him. “If you have time, I know a place where we can go,”

“Perfect,” He nods, quickly.

The next hour dragged on. You refilled the old man’s coffee, you wiped the tables down, and you exchanged a couple of words with the guy in the booth. When you finally clocked out, you slipped your jacket on and walked outside with the handsome stranger.

“I’m Y/n, by the way,” You introduce yourself as you lead him down the sidewalk.

“Sam,” He introduces himself, holding his hand out. You shake it, enjoying the warmth of his skin. “So, where are you taking me?”

“The pier,” You tell him. “It’s where I like to go when I need to get my head straight or if I’m feeling a little low,” You explain.

When you get to the end of the pier, you both snag your favorite bench. He sets his bag beside him and looks out into the water.

“I turned 18 a couple days ago,” He mutters, looking down at his fidgeting fingers. “Day later and I get a draft notice,”

“My brother got drafted too,” You whisper. He glances at you, a small smile on his face.

“So, did mine,” Sam says. “He got drafted about 7 months ago... We knew I would be next but when it came it just... it felt surreal,” Sam looks back at the water. “I feel like I’m living a nightmare and I won’t ever wake up,” He whispers.

You bite your lip when you hear the shakiness in his voice. Unable to help yourself, you reach over and grab his hand. He clings to it tightly. You shuffle closer to him and lay your head on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry you have to go, Sam,” You whisper.

“Maybe I’ll see my brother,” He hopes optimistically. “We’re all each other has. My mom died when I was a baby and my dad was never around... It’s always just been me and him,”

“Well, when you come back, find me,” Sam turns his head to you. You lift your head off his shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere, I’ll still be working at that café, I’ll be real easy to find,”

“If I come back,” Sam whispers.

“When,” You correct him. “When you and your brother come back, come to the café,” You order him. “I’ll make sure you both have a free meal,” Sam smiles, relaxing on the bench.

“When I come back,” Sam whispers, releasing a slow sigh. “As soon as I got that notice... I never thought of the possibility of coming back,”

“Well, now you have to,” You tell him. “Because if you don’t, you’re gonna make me real upset,” Sam smiles, laughing a bit. “We’re friends now, Sam. You’re stuck with me and that’s just how it’s going to be,”

“Is that so?” He asks, looking at you with a half grin.

“Exactly so,” You nod. The two of you didn’t say anything for a while. Eventually, you got tired of the silence and filled it with stories about your life. You told him about the school you went too only to find out that he had gone to your rival school. You talked about your parents and how they supported everything you and your brother did even when it was something beyond stupid.

You learned that the two of you were nerds but different kinds. He loves to read and had wanted to go to college to become a lawyer while you were passionate about music and were currently in your high schools marching band. You told him how you weren’t sure if you wanted to become a professional musician or a teacher, perhaps you would try to become both.

The conversation flowed easily between the two of you. When you ran out of things to say he talked. He told you about all the trouble he and his brother, Dean, used to get into together. His stories mad you laugh and cry.

The both of you sat on the pier for what seemed like hours. You had sat down together as strangers yet at this point you couldn’t imagine not being his friend. You hated that he had to go into the army because now you couldn’t spend more time with him.

Sitting next to him, hearing him laugh and talk, you knew if he were to stick around you would fall hopelessly in love with him. He’s beyond attractive but on top of that he’s sassy and so very smart and kind. You loved listening to him and you couldn’t help but wish you could take all his pain away. You wished you could take his fear away and protect him from the world but you just couldn’t. You felt useless but at least you were able to get him to relax before the army bus comes to pick up the recruits.

As the day passed on you noticed more army men coming to the area. You both knew that it meant the bus would be arriving soon. You both knew Sam would have to leave and you didn’t want him too.

“I should go wait with the others,” Sam mutters, looking at the group of soldiers gathering together. You frown but release his hand. He stands and slings his bag over his shoulder. He bites his lip obviously wanting to say something but looks hesitant.

“What is it, Sam?” You ask. You’re barely able to finish your question before he’s spitting out whatever he wants to say.

“Look, I know you probably have a boyfriend, but I don’t care,” Sam shakes his head, turning toward you. “I’ve got no one to send letters to, would you mind if I sent some back here to you?”

“I was hoping you would,” You smile at him. You push yourself off of the bench and pull him into a tight hug. “I expect letters as often as you can,” Sam smiles, tightening his arms around you.

“I’m gonna need your address,” He mutters. You grin pulling away from him. Your eyes glance behind him and you instantly smile.

“I’ve got an idea, come on,” You grab his hand and yank him down the pier. He laughs, following you willingly.

“Really?” Sam asks, noticing where you’re pulling him.

“Oh, come on!” You beg him. “It’ll be fun,” You turn to him and wink. He rolls his eyes but nods. You pull him into the photo booth. He sits on the seat and steers you onto his lap when you go to sit down. He grins as you blush. “Smile,” You whisper, turning to the camera.

There’s a flash as the picture is taken. Only problem is that in the corner of your eye you notice Sam still looking at you. You turn your head to him, your arm wrapped around his shoulders.

“You’re supposed to look at the camera,” You whisper.

“I’d rather look at you,” He whispers back. You nibble at your lip, a blush painting your cheeks as another flash brightens the booth. “You’re beautiful,” He mutters.

“You just had to walk into my café when you’re about to leave didn’t you?” You pout. His hand comes up to caress your cheek just as the flash comes again.

“I’m sorry, I’ve never been good at timing,” Sam whispers.

“I don’t have one,” You whisper to him. He frowns his eyebrows and tilts his head. Gathering up your courage, you press your forehead against his. “I don’t have a boyfriend,” Sam smiles a bit.

“I’m gonna have to take you out when I get back,” He whispers. You smile at his word choice. You close your eyes, resting your other hand on his chest as the final flash comes.

“Come back, Sam,” You whisper, your eyes opening to look into his. Sam closes his eyes, clenching his jaw. “Please come back, Sam,” You whisper to him.

“I’ll try,” He whispers back. You want to demand that he promises to return but you don’t. Your head moves to his shoulder as you hug him tightly. When the two of you finally slide out of the booth, you pick up the photos. You reach into your pocket and pull our a pen.

“My address,” You said writing it on a couple of them. You slip the first picture into your pocket and let him keep the other three.

“I have to go,” He whispers, seeing the bus coming to pick up the soldiers. You sigh slowly and pull him into another hug. “Thank you,” He murmurs. “For staying with me,”

“It was my pleasure,” You smile up at him. The two of you pull away. You stay still, watching him walk away. He only gets about five steps away before he stop and turns back to you. You smile widely when he come strutting back. He extends his arm and cups your cheek.

“Can I...?” He whispers and you just nod. He grins, lowering his head to yours. You lean into him as your lips press against each other lightly.

“I really wish you would have found me sooner,” You whisper. He smiles hugging you tighter than before.

“I’ll come back and I’ll take you on a date and we’ll do this the proper way,” He promises, pulling from you.

“I don’t care how we do this as long as you come back to figure it out with me,” You tell him. He clicks his heels together and gives you a salute.

“Yes, ma’am,” He winks at you. You blush smiling at him. “I’ll be back before you know it,” He promises before forcing himself to go to the back to the bus. You force yourself to smile and wave as the bus drives away with him and a dozen other soldiers on it.

His first letter came about a week later. He talked about his training and the other guys he’s bunking with. He talks about what they plan to do with his group in the future. Then he asks about you and your day. Your favorite part is when he mentions about how much he wants to come back home and go back to that pier with you.

The instant your done reading the letter, you pull out paper to write one to him. You talk about mundane things. Things that will hopefully distract him from the world he was forced into, even if it’s just for the few minutes he reads the letter.

Towards the end of your letter you tell him that you miss him. You talk about the possible dates the two of you could go on. You tell him that you look forward to him coming home.

For the next few months, the letters between you two are frequent. You learn more about each other. Every day you find yourself racing for the mailbox hoping that he had sent a letter.

“Who have you been sending letters too?” Your mom asks you one afternoon. You were going to lie and say your brother but she would know it would be a lie. While you and your brother are close you don’t get as excited for his letters as you do Sam’s.

“I met someone a couple of months ago,” You tell her. She arches an eyebrow. “He came by work before getting on the army bus.. I talked to him for a while before he had to leave. He asked me if he could send letters, he doesn’t have anyone else to talk to,”

“Oh?” She says. “And how is this man?”

“His names Sam,” A wide, effortless smile comes across your lips. “He was drafted a couple days after he turned 18,”

“He’s 18?” She asks. You slowly nod. “You’re only 16,” She states.

“So?”

“So, isn’t he a little old for you?”

“It’s only two years mom,”

“Yeah and you’re barely a junior in high school and he’s going off to a very ugly war,”

“I don’t think any war is pretty,”

“Y/n,” Your mother states.

“He has no one else, mom,” You tell her. “I’m just talking to him, giving him someone to come home too -”

“Someone to come home to? Are you two dating or something?”

“No, not yet at least...” You mutter. She sighs, rubbing her face.

“You barely know him,” She tells you.

“We’re learning about each other, what’s the big deal?” You ask. “Nothing bad is going to happen,”

“He’s going to war, Y/n... He might not come back,”

“He will,” You snap. “And when he does, I’m going to be there for him.”

“You’re only 16, Y/n... You’re too young to be waiting for a soldier to come home, you’re too young to be worrying about stuff like that,” She tells you.

“It doesn’t matter if I’m too young, I’m waiting for him and I’m going to worry about him no matter what you say or what you think. Sam, needs someone and I’m gonna be that person,” You state before going up to your room.

While that’s the first argument over Sam, it’s not the last. Neither of your parents liked the fact that you were mailing and receiving letters. You were too young. You didn’t understand the world. You need to focus on your future. You heard all that and more.

Word spread and your entire family soon knew about Sam. None of them were on your side but you didn’t care. You still looked forward to hearing him from him and you didn’t let anyone stop you from replying.

The closer time got to him being shipped over seas, the darker the letters became. Sam was scared. He’s terrified and it showed in his letters. He spoke on and on about the fears of war. He talks about how he would pray to be sent back home, back to you instead.

He tells you about how he lays in bed, staring at the photos of you two, and imagine life back home with you. He imagines holding you, kissing you, and falling in love with you.

You reread the letter a hundred times, a shit eating grin on your face. He was practically confessing to you about falling in love and you couldn’t help but to reciprocate the feelings.

When you went to reply to him, you couldn’t find the right words. You wanted to give him something to look forward to. You wanted to give him a little ray of sunlight in the darkness surrounding him.

When you finally started to write, you couldn’t stop. You made sure that he would have no doubt that you felt the same way, if not more, for him. You promised him that you would be waiting for him to come home to you and that when he did, you’d be all his.

You knew your parents thought you were crazy for falling in love with someone you only met once and talked to through letters. Did you care? No. You fell for Sam, you fell hard.

You found yourself laying in your bed at night, staring at the one picture you have of him. The picture of you staring at the came, a wide smile on your face, while he’s staring at you, a gentle grin on his. You didn’t want to read too into things but you wondered if you believed in love at first sight. Every time you thought about it, you’d smile a little wider.

Eventually another letter from Sam came. It was the last letter he wrote before being shipped over seas. By the time it reaching your house, you knew he was no longer in the U.S. He told you not to worry, he told you he might not be able to write for a while. He told you he loved you and he’d do anything to come back.

You wrote back to him, begging him to be safe. You promised you’d still wait for him. You told him that you’d be here to welcome him back to America. You told him you loved him.

Even though you looked for his letters every day, they came sporadically. He stayed true to his word and wrote whenever he could, it just wasn’t often. He didn’t go into details about the war but you knew it was horrible. Even after being over there for almost a year, he was still scared and wanted to come home. You didn’t blame him, you wanted him home too.

He wrote about how his platoon came across another one. You smile as you read about the fact that he and his brother were reunited. You couldn’t help but feel relief as you read his own words of relief over the fact that his brother’s still alive.

Towards the end he talks about how when it gets rough, he thinks back to the day the two of you sat at the pier. He explains how he closes his eyes and imagines your smile. He yearns for another kiss, another hug. He wishes he could just be with you.

You reply to him and assure him that his wishes are the same as yours. You wish for him to come home safe. You promise that even though it’s been over a year since you last saw him, you still love him and that you’re still waiting for him. You promise to wait forever as long as he returns to you.

You tell him about how that day at the pier has become your favorite. You promise to recreate that day with him when he returns only you make sure he knows that you won’t let him leave next time.

After you sent the letter, you wait for his reply. A few weeks pass then a month with no word from him. You try not to worry because it’s not the longest he’s gone without sending word. You know how hard it is for him over there. Even though he hasn’t sent you a letter, you continue to send some to him. You pray every night that when you wake up there will be a letter from him.

“Hey, Y/n, are you alright?” Your best friend asks. “You seem a little distracted?”

You were. You were completely distracted. It’s Friday night, you’re in your marching band uniform at the football game. You love football games and you’re usually the most pumped in the bad. Only tonight you’re quiet. It’s been three months since you last hard from Sam.

“I’m fine,” You promise her. “I just haven’t been getting sleep lately,”

Your friend accepts your answer and doesn’t force you to explain or talk. You’re thankful. You stand with the others and slip out the picture of Sam. You keep the picture close to your chest. You completely ignore yourself and just focus on Sam. Oh, what you wouldn’t give to see that smile in real life. What you wouldn’t give to simply hold his hand, to hear his laugh and be beside him.

When it got closer to kick off, a prayer was said before the band was instructed to play the national anthem. When the last note was ended, a man came over the speakers again. Everyone in the sands practically froze.

“Folks, would you bow your heads,” The man spoke to the crowd. “For a list of local Vietnam dead,”

This isn’t the first time the schools done this. It’s their way to honor the lives lost. Every time they do it, you feel like you’re going to be sick. Your heart races in your chest. You feel like you’re going to pass out as he goes down the list.

“... Benny Lafitte... Sam Winchester... Adam Milligan...” He continues to read off the list but you don’t listen. All the sound around you just dies.

Sam Winchester

Before you know it, your pushing through the crowd and hiding under the bleachers. Nobody gives pays any attention to you. You’re ignored but you couldn’t care less.

You collapse to your knees and wrap your arms around yourself. You’re trying so hard to be quiet but a sob escapes your lips. You want to scream, you want to punch at the ground, you want to just lose yourself in your grief.

All you can think about is his dorky smile as he gives you a salute before walking on the bus. All you can think about is how you should have begged him to stay with you.

“I’ll be back before you know it,”

His words repeat in your head which only causes you to cry even harder. You rock slowly on the grass. You want to disappear, you want to home and cry yourself to sleep.

Slowly, you pull the picture that’s clutched to your chest back. You sniffle, your eyes glued on Sam. You bring the picture to your lips and kiss him softly. You leave the picture against your lips, your eyes shut tightly as tears continue to seep through them.

“Sammy...” You whimper. “Oh, my Sammy,” You cry, curling into yourself again. “I love you so much,”

Bonas

You’re working at the café. You refilling the old mans coffee and preparing to wipe down tables. You force a smile at the old man before walking away from him. The doorbell rings when you grab a rag.

“Go ahead and sit -” Your words die in your throat when you see who’s standing at the door. You’ve never met this man but you know exactly who it is.

“Uh, hi,” He says, slowly walking up to you. “I’m Dean,”

“I know,” You whisper, offering a small smile. You hated it but seeing him brought tears to your eyes. It’s been six months since Sam was read off the fallen soldiers list. You were still struggling with the fact that he’s no longer coming home.

“Sammy talked about you all the time, couldn’t get him to shut up,” Dean laughs a bit. You bite your lip knowing this was hard for him. “You meant a lot to him,”

“He meant a lot to me,” You whisper, a tear falling down your cheek.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t bring him home to you,” Dean chokes up. “God he wanted to come home to you,” Your feet move before you realize that you’re walking up to him. The two of you instantly bring the other into a tight hug. When you pull away, he reaches into his pocket and gives you a warn and torn letter. “He asked me to give this to you,” You’re breath hitches when you see red smears on the paper.

“Th-thank you,” You whimper.

“Yeah...” He mutters before backing away. His movement snaps you out of your daze.

“Hey, Dean?” He hums, wiping his eyes. “Don’t be a stranger,” You smile at him. “I know you don’t know me but you’re family... If you ever need anything, I’ll be around,” Dean smiles and slowly nods.

“I’ll see you,” He whispers before walking out of the café.

The instant he’s gone, you walk straight to the bathroom. You cry, barely holding in the sobs. A few minutes later, you pull yourself together long enough to look at the letter.

You can barely read the shaky hand writing but his words bring fresh tears to his eyes. You could tell that he had written this the day before he died. He talked about how scared he was, how he didn’t know if he’d be able to come home. He promised he would do everything in his power to be with you but in case he couldn’t he wanted you to know just how much he loved you. He promised that if tomorrow is to be his last day then his final thoughts will be of the two of you sitting at the pier.

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