#they’re both bi and in love. i have complex backstories for them even though in the game they’re just two hired adventurers

[golarion]

made two new pathfinder ocs and i think they should kiss. on the mouth. as a treat

[margarethx]

I know that this might be an unpopular opinion, but when it comes to Sambucky becoming canon I care less about queer representation and more about the fact that they are just a great couple to have on screen.

Like... don’t get me wrong. I would love to see some official confirmation that these two are actually queer (both of them being bi is probably the most common interpretation). I’m well aware how importnat that is, especially because I know I probably won’t see any good representation for myself untill 2050 or something.

But at the end of the day I just want to watch a good story. When creators put more emphasis on labels and not on the plot around them you end up with things like Gay Joe Russo. We even started to call this guy with director’s name, because no one bothered to give him any backstory or personality outside of going on a date with a man. He was just there as a lazy attempt to make the movie more progressive. No one liked that.

Sam and Bucky on the other hand? We never heard any confirmation of their identities, but let’s be real... What they have is already a love story. A pretty long and complex love story, to be honest. We laugh a lot about tfatws being full of fanfiction tropes (because it is), but these tropes just... work. It’s a found family mixed with enemies to lovers and all the additional gems, like: “only I can insult you... no one else” or “I will follow you everywhere to keep you safe”, or “I can only sleep calmly when you’re around”.

They work as a couple at every level. And putting them together in canon would immediatelly make them the best romantically involved pair of characters MCU has to offer. (The bar is low... but still.) Not becuase they’re gay, but because we saw the entire journey that led them to where they are. From the first chaotic meeting, through building some reluctant allyship and then rather antagonistic friendhip, and eventually to a strong, mutual bond that may as well be called “love”.

Again.. Just saying that they’re in some way queer would be nice (even though most people only seem to care about giving that label to Bucky...). But I would want to see them together not just because it’s a nice gesture towarst LGBTQIA+ viewers like me, but because it’s a great love story. And letting Sam and Bucky be together would be a very natural, satisfying next step in their relationship.

[iheartbookbran]

Anthony, Penelope, Marina and Colin deserved better...

Beware, rant ahead

Ok I wish I didn’t feel such strong need to continue beating this dead horse but oopsie, I will very much be beating it some more.

Like, my fave books of the Bridgerton series are Anthony’s and Colin’s books, so I’m seething about what they did with their characterizations, Anthony and Penelope in particular, because Colin’s only real sin was being boring, and if you remember how funny he’s in the books it makes me wanna fall on my knees and ask Chris Van Dusen whyyyy omg why would you do something like that to such a dynamic character. So yeah, Colin is boring af and a moron but at least he isn’t an asshole the way show Anthony and Penelope are, and I’ve seen people say that they can always be redeemed in future seasons, if we get them, but that’s exactly my problem, because they never had to be redeemed in the books, to begin with. Penelope more so than Anthony but let me begin by defending my boy.

Is he a jerk sometimes? Sure. Is he actively awful and uncaring towards those close to him, especially his family? Hell no, quite the opposite, in fact. Not to be controversial on main but in the books... he was right in not wanting Daphne to be courted by a man who he knew damn right had no intention of marrying her and as far as he was aware was only making her waste her time, and he was right in demanding Simon pay for compromising her honor. Could he have been more mindful of what Daphne had to say and listened to her wishes? Of course, but considering Simon and Daphne (both in the show and in the books) aren’t exactly masters in communication themselves, Anthony doesn’t come off as the biggest offender in that situation.

What he never did was force Daphne, or any of his sisters really, to do anything; if they didn’t like a guy then that guy was out of their lives no question asked, and he loved them enough to always have their best interests at heart, for his sisters and his brothers, to the point that even though he’s traumatized and thinks he’s gonna die young he’s still willing to get past that to do his duty and marry, because he doesn’t want to pass that burden on to his little brothers (so him deciding to leave all his responsibilities to Benedict so he can fck off with his mistress is... like, a choice lmao). In fact all the subplot with Siena felt like a choice on the writers part, like they truly liked Benedict and Sophie’s story so they just slapped it on Anthony so he could act all sad and sexy while they gave us foreshadowing with the subtlety of a warharmer that he’s ending up with Kate anyways (and that Benedict is ending with Sophie anyways too, so they would be using that storyline twice, unless they do make him bi and fall in love with a man, but maybe that’s too much of ask for this show), so what was Siena’s purpose in the story? Who tf knows not me.

Now Penelope, my god. Yes I know I joke Penny has never done anything wrong in her life, and I still love her, but she was wrong. Very much so. What she did was significantly worse than what Marina did, which I still don’t condone at all. Like yes, I still maintain that Marina tricking Colin into marriage was wrong (and I’ll go later on why that whole subplot was racist af), but what Penelope did could have not only ruined Marina and herself and her sisters reputations, but it was basically condemning an innocent unborn child to a life in the streets, that’s messed up. Even if Marina was rose-coloring her potential life with Colin and he might have grown to resent her, at least the baby would’ve been alright. And my problem with that whole subplot is that all of it was resolved so neatly, with Sir Phillip sweeping in to save the day so we don’t have to actually see what Penelope’s actions could have caused, but the implications are still very much there.

And I’m cracking my mind trying to figure out whether the showrunners just... really hate Colin’s book and Penelope as a character so they’re trying to inflict some kind of character assassination on her so they can get away with writing him off with another person without causing much outrage, or if they just thought there wasn’t enough ~drama~ or stakes on their book so they have to add them, and give him some kind of bullshit tragic romantic past to explain why he doesn’t want to marry, whereas in the books, the reason he doesn’t marry anyone is because he doesn’t feel like it, and that’s ok, there’s no need for every character to have a tragic backstory and to be riddled with angst; Colin is that character, he’s an easy going guy who’s just not interested in marriage until he falls in love with Penny AND THAT’S VALID, just because he doesn’t have the most complex motivations out there doesn’t mean he isn’t a compelling character. The stakes in his story after he discovers Penny is Whistledown are, as he points out, that she has insulted so many people there’s no way some of them wouldn’t want to retaliate if word came out, and he cares for her and doesn’t want her to get hurt (there’s also a dumb part about him being secretly jealous of her accomplishments as Whistledown, but thankfully he gets over that pretty quickly).

But while I am on that, it is true that Penelope wrote some uncharitable things about the mean people around her, but she never ever ruined someone’s reputation, let alone endanger the future of a child. Was she a bitch sometimes? Yeah, but she was also kind to a lot of people and her criticism was never unwarranted and never did more damage than maybe annoy a couple of girls like Cressida. I just hate the idea of this needing to turn into some sort of ~redemption arc~ for Penelope because, again, in the books she really didn’t have to make up for anything, definitely not to Colin, who was actually the one who had to do much of the heavy lifting in their relationship when he realized that he literally slept on her for years.

And now regarding Marina, like yes, she was wrong and I stand by that statement (but not as wrong as Penelope), but tbh I find it hard to be mad at her when they gave her such a racist storyline, as the scheming woc who gets pregnant out of wedlock and then tries to seduce the innocent white man, until the virtuous white girl needs to step up to save him. At least that’s what I thought initially as the writers intention, but honestly I’m not so sure anymore, I doubt they will continue to write her and Colin as a couple otherwise they would’ve bothered to show them interacting outside of her manipulating him and him acting like a bumbling idiot, the most sincere moment they had together was when he comforted her about the lie, but by that time this bitch (me) was empty and didn’t give a shit anymore. Literally all their other interactions where shown through Penelope’s POV to let us know she was sad, and Colin’s most significant scenes where again... with Penelope (because it isn’t as if he has a family and his own moments in the books outside of being an object for Penelope to pine after).

And as I said before, Marina had a—relatively—happy ending: married to a man she doesn’t love (just as she didn’t love Colin) but who will treat her right and care for her and her child in comfort. Is arguably a better ending than if she’d married Colin because now she doesn’t have to go through the trouble of explaining things to her new husband and run the risk of him resenting her forever. Phillip may not love her but he knows who he’s marrying and why he’s marrying her. That’s literally the same fate Marina had in the books, and it makes me wonder why, oh why would the writers do that.

Why create such a contrived plot to give a character who appears in one(1) chapter of an 8 books series then promptly dies, all at the expense of the characterization of one of the most beloved heroines of said books series? Why would you write this racist storyline for a character whose fate is dying? And now I’m horrified at the repercussions that can come with Marina committing su*cide like in canon, because the implications would be that Penelope would be responsible for it (and I hate the idea of blaming one person for the su*cide of another, fictional or otherwise, is harmful and we need to be careful with making such implications), which would make her even less redeemable or like, likable in general. Not to mention that would be like putting the final racist nail in Marina’s coffin by giving her that ending.

It makes me wonder, seriously, if Chris Van Dusen hated Romancing Mister Bridgerton that much, if he loathed the idea of writing a fat character finding love and getting sex that much. I just wanna know why lmfao.

[ripjaws]

Ben 10 Survey Results!

Huge thank you to everyone who submitted a response, it was really fun looking through them all and I was genuinely surprised by the results of some of the questions.

Hopefully this will work under a read more because it's quite long and I don't want people to have to scroll a hundred years to get past it.

If anyone has any questions or anything please feel free to ask! :)

Thanks again!

General

Q1. How would you describe your gender?

36% - Female 25.3% - Male 24% - Non-binary 8% - Prefer not to say 4% - Agender 2.7% - Genderfluid

Q2. How would you describe your sexuality?

32% - Bisexual 20% - Heterosexual 20 % - Asexual 8% - Lesbian 6.7% - Prefer not to say 5.4% - Pansexual 4% - Gay 1.3% - Demisexual 1.3% - Questioning 1.3% - Polysexual

Q3. Current age

48% - 20-24 39% - 15-19 13.3% - 25-30 1.3% - Older than 30 1.3% - Younger than 15

Q4. Age when you first became interested in Ben 10

86.7% - Younger than 15 9.3% - 15-19 2.7% - 20-24 1.3% - 25-30

Episodes and season

Q1. Which series did you watch first?

88% - Original Series 9.3% - Alien Force 1.3% - Omniverse 1.3% - Reboot

Q2. Rank the series in order of preference

[IMAGE ID: Five separate groups of five vertical bar charts. The individual columns for each group are coloured in the same order and corresponds to what ranking they recieved on that question of the survey. According to the key at the top of the image the order is; blue = 1, red = 2, orange = 3, green = 4 & purple = 5. The Y axis of the graph goes from zero to thirty in intervals of ten.

The first group is labelled ‘Original Series’ and shows that it got twenty votes in blue, seventeen votes in red, sixteen votes in orange, ten votes in green & twelve votes in purple.

The second group is labelled ‘Alien Force’ and shows that it got nine votes in blue, eighteen votes in red, twenty-one votes in orange, twenty-two votes in green & five votes in purple.

The third group is labelled ‘Ultimate Alien’ and shows that it got thirteen votes in blue, ten votes in red, fourteen votes in orange, twenty-two votes in green & sixteen votes in purple.

The fourth group is labelled ‘Omniverse’ and shows that it got eighteen votes in blue, fifteen votes in red, seventeen votes in orange, fifteen votes in green & ten votes in purple.

The fifth and final group is labelled ‘Reboot’ and shows that it got fifteen votes in blue, fifteen votes in red, seven votes in orange, six votes in green & thirty-two votes in purple. END IMAGE ID]

Q3. Favourite season (Original Series)

40% - Season 1 18.7% - Season 2 18.7% - Season 3 17.3% - Season 4 5.3% - Don’t like/Haven’t watched

Most popular episodes were Ken 10 (S4E10) & Kevin 11 (S1E7)

Q4. Favourite season (Alien Force)

52% - Season 2 28% - Season 1 16% - Season 3 4% - Don’t like/Haven’t watched

Most popular episodes were Alone Together (S2E2) & Save the Last Dance (S2E4)

Q5. Favourite Season (Ultimate Alien)

36% - Season 1 25.3% - Season 3 20% - Don’t like/Haven’t watched 18.7% - Season 2

Most popular episodes were Forge of Creation (S1E16) & Duped (S1E2)

Q6. Favourite Season (Omniverse)

18.7% - Don’t like/Haven’t watched 18.7% - Season 2 16% - Season 5 12% - Season 6 10.7% - Season 1 9.3% - Season 8 8% - Season 4 5.3% - Season 3 1.3% - Season 7

Most popular episodes were And Then There Were None (S6E1) & And Then There Was Ben (S6S2)

Q7. Favourite Season (Reboot)

60% - Don’t like/Haven’t watched 17.3% - Season 4 10.7% - Season 3 6.7% - Season 1 5.3% - Season 2

Most popular episodes were Omni-tricked (S1E37) & Innervasion (S2E36)

Q8. Which live action movie did you prefer?

40% - Alien Swarm 22.7% - Race Against time 22.7% - Didn’t like either 14.7% - Haven’t watched either

Characters and aliens

Q1. Favourite main character

45.3% - Ben Tennyson 28% - Kevin Levin 17.3% - Rook Blonko 9.3% - Gwen Tennyson

Some ‘Why’ responses:

Ben -

I know it's a really basic pick but I enjoy Ben alot as a character. Even though I feel like he took an extremely sharp turn into immaturity in the final season of Alien Force onward (from what I've heard it was due to ratings), it still fit well after a bit of time of adjustment. Him being rash and selfish at times while still having a good heart feels...very human. I'm a huge fan of flawed protagonists and Ben is a prime example of such, imo! Plus I hradcanon that he has autism and it's a big comfort for me :)

I love his potential as a character and the way he hands having such power and responsibility thrust upon him. Ben has done so much for the people in his life and the universe, and I absolutely adore him.

I think of him like a kind person who tries his best to the right thing, he's pretty chill and optimist and in my mind he's a chaotic bi and i can relate to that

Kevin -

I like that he's always been an antihero in the original series. And in the reboot I really like the direction the showrunners are taking his character. He has a different backstory, motivations and I'm really enjoying his character development. It's a fresh take on his story and they're treating it with care, which I really appreciate. His Antitrix aliens also have some really incredible designs.

Cool powers, uncommon character in children's media, especially as a primary character often cast in a good light (ex con, high school dropout, masculine, not emotionally mature). His character development is some of the best in the series.

Gods, we could be here forever... Okay, short version- 1) I can relate to him on a mental health level, especially in the OG series we seemed to have similar issues and to handle them in similar ways 2) there's a lot of depth and variance to his character, he's angry and aggressive and dangerous but also a dork, a sweetheart, and very affectionate once he lets his walls down, he loves cars and supernatural romance, violence and magical girls, he'll rescue an aggressive dog for no reason other than it needed help but also he might consider how much he could get for selling you, he's a complex character and he's allowed to be in a way the Tennysons can't because of how firmly they sit in the Hero seat 3) for all of this, we never really know all that much about him and his experiences, at least in comparison to what we know is there- we never learn about his time traveling the galaxy, we haven't heard anything about his time stuck in time, it's only in the reboot we're getting trustworthy information about his background and even then it's rare tidbits- he's ripe for exploring in fic, headcanon, and so-on 4) his powers in the OG series, his status as mutant or alien or both who knows anymore leaves a lot of doors open to play and to look at the world through different angles 5) dude has turned into six different monstrous chimera forms over the course of the franchise and honestly you have to support that sort've shit in media otherwise they might stop

Rook -

Alien catboy with a glorious voice and have you seen those arms??? And he's so polite while also being hilarious when he gets a little rude/snarky and his character development is amazing!!

While I would normally say Ben himself, Rook is his only friend that hasn't tried to kill him. Additionally, he provides Ben with guidance as well as support the Gwen and Kevin are fickle about.

Having an actual alien joining the cast and serving at Ben's foil worked well to me.

Gwen -

Smart, talented, funny, snarky, confident, and super cute. Jock-prep-nerd energy all in one. Deserves the world. Criminally ignored by the majority of the fandom. Knows karate and judo?? College at 16?? Icon.

Angel, can do no wrong, was capable of so much more than the show let her do, potential to be the most powerful member of the team if they'd just let her go a lil feral sometimes :/

She was a good voice of reason most of the time. Her powers were really interesting and overall I think she had a lot of wasted potential having to be sidelined since the series was about Ben ultimately

Q2. Favourite minor characters

40 votes - Paradox

22 votes - Max Tennyson

18 votes - Tetrax

17 votes - Argit

16 votes - Julie Yamamoto

15 votes - Azmuth

12 votes - Ester

10 votes - Looma Red Wind

9 votes - Glitch

9 votes - Kai Green

7 votes - Alan Albright

6 votes - Jimmy Jones

4 votes - Cooper Daniels

3 votes - Eunice

3 votes - Helen Wheels

2 votes - Elena Validus

2 votes - Manny Armstrong

1 vote - Cash Murray

1 vote - Driba

Other votes went to Penny Bennyson, Kenny Tennyson/Spanner, Lucy Mann, Rook Shar, Eddie Grandsmith, Myaxx and Pakmar.

Q3. Ship or Zed

64% - Ship 36% - Zed

Q4. Favourite main antagonist 

20% - Albedo 13.3% - Kevin 11 12% - Vilgax 10.7% - Charmcaster 10.7% - Zs’Skayr 9.3% - Malware 5.3% - Forever Knights 5.3% - Eon 4% - Highbreed & DNAliens 4% - Aggregor 1.3% - Servantis & Rooters 1.3% - Khyber 1.3% - Dagon & the Esoterica

Some ‘Why’ responses for top 3:

Albedo -

When I first saw him during the airing of Good Copy, Bad Copy, I was scared that Albedo might be a one-and-done evil clone that doesn't get much development. These fears went away, and I was pleased to find out about his backstory and motives, just a sour soul in an unpleasant situation. Even in Ultimate Alien with his reappearance episode, he tries to work on his own to cope in a horrid human world. He isn't necessarily malicious until Ben gets in his way, he just wants to return to his own body and leave, even stating that he wasn't going to fight Ben anymore while he had temporarily returned to his Galvan form. I know DJW stated in some interview that Albedo could never be redeemed, but I believe there's some hope if he gets help. And I'm a sucker for those redemption arcs :)

Tragic frog man that could have been helped but nobody helped him and he doubled down on his hatred which led to him getting stuck in a cycle of revenge and punishment and it's the tragedy of how much better things could have been for him if someone just helped him that I love so much!!

Kevin 11 -

He’s very dangerous and has a terrifying power to absorb electricity and living DNA to have the same powers of who he absorbed it from and even turn himself into a mutant with all those powers combined leading to destructive power 

Kevin was a good antagonist and a good protagonist, although i feel the transition was rushed. Anti-hero kevin in the reboot is great!

Vilgax -

He was always the endgame villian for Ben, despite how many battles they've had, despite countless losses, he always tried to stay one step ahead, and plan everything.

"Speak with care, Psyphon. Your counsel is valuable...not irreplaceable."

Q5. Favourite minor villains 

38 votes - Animo 20 votes - Hex 18 votes - Michael Morningstar/Darkstar 14 votes - SixSix 13 votes - Zombozo 9 votes - Vreedle family 9 votes - Vulkanus 8 votes - Rojo 5 votes - Inspector 13 5 votes - Billy Billions 5 votes - Will Harangue 4 votes - Fistrick 4 votes - Nyancy Chan 3 votes - Lord Decibel 3 votes - Simian 3 votes - Subdora 3 votes - Viktor 2 votes - Addwaitya 2 votes - Fistina 2 votes - Kraab 2 votes - Psyphon 2 votes - Steam Smythe 2 votes - Sunder 1 vote - Liam 1 vote - Ssserpent

Other votes went to Maurice & Sydney, Bugg Brothers, Alternate evil Bens, and the Mummy.

Q6. Favourite canon relationship

66.7% - Gwen & Kevin 13.3% - Max Tennyson & Verdona 5.3% - Ben & Kai 4% - Rook & Rayona 1.3% - Julie & Herve 1.3% - Max & Xylene

Q7. Favourite non-canon ship

36% - I don’t have one 30.7% - Ben & Rook 6.7% - Ben & Kevin 4% - Ben & Julie

Other responses included Ben & Rex, Kai & Julie, Looma & Attea, Alan & Cooper, Ben & Looma, Kevin & Manny, Gwen & Cooper, Ben & Ester, Max & Phil, Azmuth & Paradox, Cooper & Elena, Kai & Ester, Ben & Zak Saturday, Ben & Eddie, Ben & Albedo, Ben & Kevin & Gwen, Kenny & Devlin, OC & canon, and Ben & a therapist. 

Q8. Favourite alien introduced in the Original Series

18.7% - XLR8 17.3% - Upgrade 13.3% - Ghostfreak 10.7% - Diamondhead 9.3% - Heatblast 8% - Wildmutt 6.7% - Ditto 2.7% - Blitzwolfer 2.7% - Snare-oh 2.7% - Grey Matter 1.3% - Cannonbolt 1.3% - Four Arms

Q9. Least favourite alien introduced in the Original Series

22.7% - Eye Guy 18.7% - Spitter 8% - Articguana 8% - Frankenstrike 6.7% - Upchuck 6.7% - Stinkfly 5.3% - Buzzshock 5.3% - Snare-oh 4% - Four Arms 2.7% - Blitzwolfer 2.7% - Ditto 2.7% - Wildmutt 2.7% - Grey Matter 1.3% - Cannonbolt 1.3% - Diamondhead 1.3% - Ghostfreak

Q10. Favourite alien introduced in Alien Force

46.7% - Big Chill 17.3% - Rath 8% - Goop 6.7% - Lodestar 5.3% - Swampfire 4% - Chromastone 4% - Spidermonkey 2.7% - Alien X 2.7% - Echo Echo 1.3% - Humungousaur 1.3% - Jetray

Q11. Least favourite alien introduced in Alien Force

18.7% - Lodestar 17.3% - Brainstorm 13.3% - Alien X 10.7% - Humungousaur 10.7% - Spidermonkey 8% - Jetray 8% - Chromastone 5.3% - Goop 5.3% - Echo Echo 2.7% - Rath

Q12. Favourite alien introduced in Ultimate Alien

18.7% - Juryrigg 16% - AmpFibian 14.7% - Clockwork 12% - NRG 8% - Armodrillo 8% - Shocksquatch 8% - Terraspin 8% - Water Hazard 2.7% - Chamalien 2.7% - Fasttrack 1.3% - Eatle

Q13. Least favourite alien introduced in Ultimate Alien

30.7% - Fasttrack 18.7% - Eatle 13.3% - Juryrigg 9.3% - Chamalien 8% - Shocksquatch 6.7% - Terraspin 5.3% - Water Hazard 4% - Clockwork 1.3% - AmpFibian 1.3% - Armodrillo 1.3% - NRG

Q14. Favourite Ultimate Form

38.7% - Echo Echo 24% - Big Chill 10.7% - Swampfire 9.3% - Way Big 8% - Wildmutt 6.7% - Spidermonkey 1.3% - Cannonbolt 1.3% - Humungousaur

Q15. Favourite alien introduced in Omniverse

29.3% - Feedback 13.3% - Pesky Dust 12% - Gravattack 9.3% - Ball Weevil 8% - Bullfrag 6.7% - Whampire 5.3% - Bloxx 4% - Atomix 4% - Walkatrout 2.7% - Gutrot 1.3% - Crashhopper 1.3% - Kickin Hawk 1.3% - Toepick 1.3% - The Worst

Q16. Least favourite alien introduced in Omniverse

24% - The Worst 14.7% - Bloxx 12% - Mole-Stache 8% - Bullfrag 6.7% - Astrodactyl 6.7% - Kickin Hawk 5.3% - Atomix 5.3% - Gutrot 4% - Crashhopper 4% - Walkatrout 2.7% - Toepick 1.3% - Ball Weevil

Q17. Favourite alternate Ben timeline

29.3% - No watch Ben 24% - Gwen 10 17.3% - Ben 10,000 8% - Mad Ben 6.7% - Dimension 23 6.7% - Eon 4% - Nega Ben 2.7% - Benzarro 1.3% - Bad Ben

Misc.

Q1. Favourite watch design

37.3% - Original Series 29.3% - Omniverse 17.3% - Alien Force 9.3% - Ultimatrix 6.7% - Reboot

Q2. Favourite alternate watch design

29.3% - Biomnitrix 20% - Gwen 10 18.7% - Negatrix 17.3% - Antitrix 8% - Power Watch 6.7% - Hero Watch

Q3. Favourite planet visited

32% - Anur Transyl 20% - Revonnah 13.3% - Mykdl’dy 10.7% - Galvan Prime 9.3% - Vilgaxia 6.7% - Piscciss 5.3% - Petropia 2.7% - Khoros

Q4. Favourite locations

34 votes - Undertown 23 votes - Ledgerdomain 23 votes - Null Void 22 votes - Bellwood 19 votes - Friedkin University 18 votes - Mr. Smoothy 16 votes - Forge of Creation 15 votes - Los Soledad 7 votes - Burger Shack 7 votes - Plumber Headquarters 4 votes - Incarcecon 2 votes - Mt. Rushmore Plumber base 2 votes - The Perplexahedron 1 vote - Plumber Academy

Q5. Favourite Vehicle

33.3% - Kevin’s car (Original) 25.3% - Rustbucket 18.7% - Proto-TRUK 13.3% - DX Mark 10 5.3% - Kevin’s car (Omniverse) 4% - Glitch

Q6. Favourite Kevin mutation

40% - Original series 20% - Ken 10 future 12% - Ultimate Alien 8% - Omniverse 8% - Alien Force 6.7% - Omniverse flashback 5.3% - Reboot

Q7. Favourite Omniverse redesign

66.7% - Ben 26.6% - Kevin 6.7% - Gwen

Q8. Least favourite Omniverse redesign

76% - Gwen 18.7% - Kevin 5.3% - Ben

Thoughts

(Putting every single response here would make this insanely long so I’ve just put the most detailed/most echoed responses & include all sides of opinions when possible.)

Q1. Thoughts on the Osmosians retcon?

Okay, first up, do you know how much work I had already put into building shit surrounding those fuckers by the time of the retcons? I had been working on this crap since AF season 2! But no, they gotta go ruin that in one fell swoop, thank you, much appreciated. Second up, I wibble on it? Like, working with mutants is fun and interesting and I've done plenty of shit with them as well, but in the end I'm always going to be a pro-Ossys person. Mostly the retcons left more questions than they gave answers (how, if Osmosians never existed, did everybody and their mother know Kevin was an Osmosian? why, if Osmosians never existed, did none of the people not-involved in this whole disaster with Servantis's mindfuckery look at Aggregor being reported as an Osmosian and go 'wtf that's not a thing'? do they really mean to tell me that not only did Kevin never bother to look into his heritage, but neither did research-happy Gwen? or am I expected to believe the Rooters made enough fake information and put it out publicly that they fooled literally everyone? and if they did then why? when it would've done the same thing with less effort if they'd just, let Kevin be a mutant with a Plumber father who died) and I feel like they didn't really give enough to justify them. One of those cases of 'making your work less interesting to make it more 'accurate''. Personally, I forever keep working on Osmosians (where's the line where it just starts becoming your shit, I think I may be heading there) and I love on mutants and I flip between or combine the two as needed for whatever story I want to tell.

While the fake memories plot isn't great I think it's for the best because the original series meant for Kevin to be a mutant while UAF changed it to alien. I like him better as a mutant human. Too much alien connections in UAF.

I could scream for hours. Easily one of the worst decisions they ever made. Omniverse picks and chooses what canon to follow from AFUA + the original run and throws it in without care or concern to what it means for the timeline. Retconning something and keeping the effect it had is just bad writing. Kevin coming to terms with not being human and that’s okay was important to me when I was a kid. Knowing that he’s just been on an unending series of brainwashed nonsense all his life deprives him of his agency. I hate this decision more than several dozen essays could ever convey.

I wasn't mad about it. Mainly because I liked the idea of Kevin being a mutant than an alien. Alien Force really was pushing that aspect even with Gwen. To the point where she called her powers 'not spells' because of her heritage. Stupid that the rooters and fake memories were a thing, but necessary.

I was never a big fan of the Rooters Arc, but this doesn't bother me too much. It makes UA a little weird with Aggragor, but again, it doesn't really bother me, as most of Omniverse didn't explore Kevin (While UA Did), and was mostly about Ben.

Osmosians were such a cool idea, and it would've allowed for more exploration into what Mike Morningstar was as well, but just writing them off as mutates is so boring. As well as it makes Aggregors whole part not really make sense, like who is he then.

While well executed, it was unnecessary. You could have had the same story line where Kevin was used to mutate other kids and still had him an Alien. You could have had it where it was another alien species that used Osmosians to morph other species to theirs; a call back to the DNAliens if you want.

Q2. Thoughts on how the Ultimate Kevin situation was dealt with in UA?

Terrible. They wanted to go far. They wanted to go dark. But they didn't think their viewership could handle it so they dialed it back. I will always be curious to know what they would have written if they didn't have those constraints. Because the final product was a mess of contrasting tone and unsure footing about how far to go with questioning our hero's moral compass. They wanted to push Ben to see what he would do and apparently, we got that he would kill Kevin and maybe Gwen if she got in the way of saving the universe.... but not really because he didn't. And then the gang is happy all back together like none of it ever happened. They wanted to explore dark themes but have it leave no consequences on the characters. Also... it was so ableist and awful and Kevin deserved better than how Ben and Max (and the writers) treated him.

If they did everything the same but the argument was 'we need to capture him and lock him away' instead of 'we need to kill him'? I would be fine. It's the fact that they slipped so quickly into murder, into murder by his 16-yo bestfriend, that gets me. Like, there's apparently no space between 'recklessly risk our safety trying to talk him down' and 'Ol' Yeller his ass' and that just does not sit right with me.

Ben should have looked for alternate solutions before jumping on the "Let's kill Kevin" train. I understand why he did (this took place immediately post-Aggregor so Ben was still traumatized about having lost so many people and because he failed and "let" Kevin get turned into Ultimate Kevin, he felt as though every person Kevin hurt would be on him) but I wish he hadn't.

Pretty good actually. I like Gwen's emotions becoming a hindrance to the job, I like Ben putting on his big boy pants and I like Kevin going up to Aggregor and saying "y'know, I was a big boy villain once and I'm tried of just getting kicked around" (obviously paraphrasing)

Other than the scenario being overplayed, I think Ben was right. Kevin was eventually going to end up killing Gwen and he'd already put others in the hospital. He needed to be stopped.

Ben jumping straight to murder, yikes. Kevin dismissing Gwen to hang out with Ben almost as soon as he turned back to normal, yikes. Otherwise, it was an interesting plotline.

Really bad. Really shows how awful max and the plumbers really are. I mean , the guy saved the universe and now he clearly needs help but all they wanted to do was kill him.

it really felt like Ben just wanted to murder Kevin because he saved the universe that one time and Ben couldn't stand someone else being the hero for once

The worst, Max straight away wanting to put him down makes u wonder how long he's been waiting for that kind of opportunity.

I'm fine with it, maybe they could have spent some time dealing with the consequences of Kevin's actions, possibly even the ramifications it had on Ben and Kevin's friendship, but overall I'm ok with it.

Q3. Thoughts on the Plumbers

Plumbers ain't shit. Individuals can be acceptable or not but the organization as a whole has too much power, not enough oversight, utilizes child labor, uses a deathtrap of a hellscape dimension as a penal colony, has been shown onscreen sentencing people to imprisonment in said dimension without a trial, and I'm sorry the fact that a Plumber official could walk into a base with his team, assault several members of staff, attempt to kidnap a boy, admit to having and planning to continue to run illegal experiments on him and others, admit to having altered the memories of other Plumber officials, all in front of the entire base, and nothing was done until he tried to kill the golden child Ben 10 and failed, got his ass kicked by one of his victims, and in a place where presumably there were security cameras? And that the response was, again, to sentence him and his team without trial, take all the evidence, and peace out without so much as looking at nonetheless apologizing to his victims? Yeah, that don't fly. Doesn't sound like an organization that has it's shit together. Either the Plumbers don't have their shit together or the higher ups were in on it until it became something that could actually damage their reputation, and either way I Do Not Approve.

They're pretty cool. I know everyone's talking about how Plumbers are space cops and therefore absolutely corrupt and bad but this is a fictional universe in which corruption in organized forces isn't a necessity. Plumbers don't function the same way real cops do, they don't follow they same chain of command, they don't have the same motivations and they definitely don't have the same biases. Plumbers perform an essential function in the Ben 10 universe, which is to capture and contain aliens who aim to hurt anyone (or those who Ben defeats).

My knowledge of the Plumbers' unfortunately doesn't go beyond UA. They're not my favorite thing ever. Some of my least favorite episodes were the ones where the Plumbers or Plumbers' kids are involved, except for the episode "Everybody Talks About the Weather". The way Alan is introduced is really cool and very X Files-esque, and it ties into the DNAlien plot very well. But throughout the series I stopped caring about the Plumbers in general and I think that concept was given too much attention.

They don't do what they're meant to. They act like heros yet I don't think I've ever seen them do anything heroic. The DNAliens situation, the aggregor situation, dagon etc etc. Where were they??? Why did they leave the fate of the universe in the hands of a 16 year-old boy? Ben has the omnitrix sure , but he's still just one guy, how much can he fight? They showed up every once in a while but that's it. They were useless.

Of course the Plumbers have their problems, but looking at most characters we've met that were plumbers seem to be pretty good people. Max, Patelliday and Rook (and even Kevin, technically) are great examples of Plumbers, Servantis being a bad example of one.

Honestly liked it when it was disbanded. It’s cool they introduced Rook but like there’s so much wrong with how they run most things. My favorite version of the plumbers was tbh the first live action movie. Where it was just a bunch of old people watching out for Ben cause they actually cared about the people they protected (in this case Ben).

Q4. Thoughts on Grandpa Max

(The responses to this one were way more divided than I thought they would be omg)

He said Kevin was a mad dog that needed to put down. He's terrible. Military. Secretive. Kept his kids out of the loop and probably told the grandkids not to tell them about a huge and extremely dangerous part of their lives. Thus creating a gap between them and their parents that didn't need to be there. Child endangerment. Other than that....? He's important to Ben and Gwen so I tolerate him and he had some good life lessons to share. Also legendary adult figure in a kids cartoon who had relationships with multiple aliens.

He’s incredible, he worked in the Air Force, was going to be one of the first people on the moon (But he refused because he joined the Plumbers) had children with an Energy Being, he has a few grandchildren, and not to mention knows how to still kick butt despite him being in his 60s and was there to help Ben grow

He’s a complicated old man. Love him to bits in the original run and I love him in AF! He’s a utilitarian doing what needs to be done and suffering the consequences when need be. He does what he thinks is going to lead to the best possible outcome for the most people in any situation.

Needs to get knocked off his pedestal more often, both in and out of canon. He's got good traits, they're very nice, but there's other shit that gets glossed over, ignored, brushed aside, too easily forgiven, and just. They really needed a character who served double duty being a counterforce to him. Somebody to go 'wtf is wrong with you?' or 'yeah, no'. Ideally this would've been Patilidae, but no. We couldn't be so lucky.

Conflicted. Was he grooming Ben for plumber work, or just trying to support him in a situation he knew would be dangerous? It’s not made very clear...

I think he's got some sort of narcissistic personality disorder. I just can't forgive him for making Ben carry the burden of the Omnitrix at the age of 10 without ever explaining anything, and for not letting Ben and Gwen know he was alive after the Null Void grenade incident in AF. He clearly could have, if Helen could reach Gwen so easily. I think he views Ben more as an asset than a grandson at this point and that's really sad.

I love him! The progression from family hero to questionable old man felt kinda natural, like learning about a family member as you grow older and realizing they aren't perfect

He's awesome. He was a good role model for Ben and he was very supportive to both his grandkids. I hate that they made him mute in Omniverse and changed his design so drastically. I loved Max in every season from the original till Ultimate Alien. After that, he was pretty much just a prop.

Q5. And finally, give me your most controversial Ben 10 opinion!

It seems to be the worst thing to say that Ben isn't perfect and that Kai isn't demonic. And it's pretty standard for the women of color characters in every fandom to get the most hate so to me all the hate towards Kai when her personality is so close to Ben's AND she's also more hated than the ex-villain and the actual villains that tried to kill Ben multiple times just seems- hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. But really, and really I've needed to say this for a long time but I'm afraid of being strangled. Some fans will denounce incest/pedo shippers and people that interact with them and then reblog from a proud Bwen shipper with no self-awareness. Please I have the tags blacklisted are you safe to interact with and you just don't know? Or you're just saying you hate Bwen shippers to give yourself an out for reblogging their content????? Or are you all closeted incest shippers trying to maintain a public image???? I'm at my limit.

I do not think the reboot should have existed tbh :,D I know that it has a ton of fans and all due respect to them, but from what I've seen of it I don't think it was worth tossing away four interconnected series' worth of development and starting from scratch to end up with what we have now. I would be fine with it existing if we got an Omniverse continuation alongside it, but CN screwed OV over by the decisions they made near the end of it's run. So it's probably impossible it would return, even moreso because of the reboot already airing, and it would probably confuse younger audiences that don't know about Omniverse if two Ben 10's were running separately. I just really miss Omniverse, it had more potential and the reboot placed the final nail in for it to ever return.

The Ben 10 reboot is fun and meant more for kids rather than the ones watching for nostalgia. I didn’t like how Gwevin were sidelined and downplayed to make Ben look better. Sometimes it felt like Gwen was a bit naggy towards the two of them. I didn’t like how the fact that she was the only female lead how she had sometimes act like a parent or that they put Gwen and Kevin together just because. Their relationship felt forced and awkward a lot of the time. Omniverse’s designs while controversial were fun and unique but I didn’t like what they did with Gwevin, especially Gwen.

Kevin is totally smart enough to figure out an Omnitrix with the blueprints in front of him, we see him do amazing shit with technology- including the Omnitrix- in the OG series, people just don't notice he's as brilliant as Gwen because the show never made it as big a point that he and Ben were so very smart like it did with her before the reboot, so now they're being forced to acknowledge that Kevin might have two braincells to rub together and they're pushing against the supposed 'change'.

idk if it's controversial but there should've been way more episodes of just gwen & kevin & rook without ben or ben having a very minor role in the episode. just more time for those three to shine and show off how capable they are without ben always having to come in to save the day at the end

Gwen and Kevin aren't good friends to Ben. I mean they were initially, but once he got famous and they didn't, they stopped putting more than a half-assed effort to help him. They also don't really consider his feelings nor really care about the toll heroing takes on him.

The Reboot has the best jokes in the entire franchise and I don't why people give it so much crap.

Kai Green is an abuser and I refuse to find anything redeemable about her character. "Worthy to wield Excalibur," my entire ass. And Ben and Julie's breakup was good for them both, as people, and just as much her fault as it was his.

Ben 10 is an incredibly flawed show and people need to stop getting butt hurt when the blatant misogyny, and copoganda in the show get pointed out or when any even minority critiques Ben's character.

Ben is the worst character in Ben 10 and the whole franchise would be better off without him.

Azmuth is fine for the most part and malware was not exactly the most understanding person

I think Ben should've stayed single. Every episode where romance (or the girl Ben was dating) was the focus of the episode was pretty boring to me, personally.

Ben's parents were right to try to stop him from being a hero, so were Gwen's.

Ultimate alien force season 2 and 3 were amazing.( not comparing the OS since obviously that's the best, or omniverse since I haven't watched all the episodes of that)

Pierce deserved to die for being a boring character. I just wish his death had actual consequences.

The reboot is a genuine improvement over the original continuity in MANY ways!

Oh geez, um, Kai was a good character, just her and ben were obviously toxic. Not everyone needs to like Ben and she isn't an abuser, they just don't get along and that's fine but by God, why did the writers have to force them in a relationship? That's all I could really think of on the spot. Oh! And that the first two season of AF were a watered down version of Ben and the plot focused more on Gwen and Kevin than it did Ben. He felt like a side character and I'm not mad about that, but I don't understand why people praise that characterization of ben when I remember more about gwen and Kevin then Ben. Dude, I've been watching the show for the past week and I can name more about kevin and gwen because they're memorable.

Azmuth's hot af, but y'all aren't ready for that conversation...

----

If you’ve made it this far then thank you!

Again huge thank you to everyone who submitted a response and if you have any questions/comments please feel free to leave them in the replies/send me an ask/dm/whatever ^^

[mercydreaming]

after all the shit that was going on with spn this past week, I found myself thinking about the series and characters more than I have in a while. Usually I like posts about them every once in a while on Tumblr and read some Destiel or Dean and Sam childhood backstory fics, and am satisfied. Sure I’ll miss them, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop missing them, but I’ve got other fandoms and characters that are at the forefront of my mind these days. They’re more a nostalgia based memory. So I haven’t actually thought about them in depth in a hot minute. Until now...

First off:

I just wanna say Happy Pride y'all! it’s fucking great to feel comfortable with your identity and its own fluidity. I hope everyone can one day feel safe and secure and happy when they identify as their true selves.

being that it’s pride month and last I really thought about it, I identified as biromantic ace, I thought I’d just get this off my chest once and for all. I felt comfortable identifying as Bi and ace partly because of Destiel. Hold up, it makes sense (kinda) I swear.

 Okay so, one of my first ships was SPN’s Destiel. As I assume plenty of other people relate to. It wasn’t my first ship ever (a girl was trying to get people to be in love since she was watching kids next door) but it was one of the first “real” ones that I actively read and wrote fan fiction for. It was safe and comforting, if that makes any sense? and it still is nice to think about and go “yeah they're still in love” regardless of how badly the show fucked up their character developments.

But the reason destiel made me feel so secure in my own identify was because they were the first characters I identified as Bi and Ace.

Dean Winchester is Bi, like he just is. and since he was my favorite comfort character, it made me feel better when I identified as Bi. It was like this sense of being similar, and like somebody strong and good, that made me in turn feel “normal.” like dean has much more on his plate than whether or not he thought the dude and chick sitting next to him at the bar were cute. (though dean has some panic about his sexuality, lets be real) and my life may not be that fucked up, but I too had better things to worry about than if it was normal to think A and B were cute in bio. If it took Dean a hot second to come to terms with his sexuality, then I too could take my time figuring it out. What was important was the connection, the love, not the gender.

And then for Cas, I read some really good Asexual!Castiel fics that really just made me feel so loved. I’d been unsure of my sexuality for so long that it was like this thing sitting on my chest and slowly choking the life out of me. I wasn’t straight, but I wasn’t gay, and liking both was acceptable, but what about if I liked both in different ways and I didn’t want to do anything sexual with them. was that even normal? should I find help or was I really just a late bloomer and I was just trying to make myself seem “different” on purpose? luckily, I found good resources (some in part online, some on youtube, some even on Tumblr back in 2014) and was able to find an identify that fit me and released the weight from my chest, but the real kicker was then being confident in saying you’re ace but not having anything positive to look at. Who was I like in media?but then there was Cas and I could look at him and love him and love myself at the same time. 

And yeah I realize that these were head cannons and that for all the fics I read and Au’s that I wrote, these things were unlikely to ever be true in the show; but they were there to make me feel like being who I was, was okay, at a time when I needed someone to tell me that.

And sure I’ve found better representation over the years, and I’ve been able to move forward with my life knowing that I am allowed to be whoever I want to be, but a part of me will always attribute a piece of my development to this fucked up show, and these really complex dumbass characters.

so happy pride to that ship that I really cant forget about.

[b--tchcraft]

「   ʰᵃᵛᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ˢᵉᵉⁿ 𝓶𝓪𝔂𝓪 𝓶𝓪𝓽𝓵𝓲𝓷 ʸᵉᵗ ᵗʰⁱˢ ˢᶜʰᵒᵒˡ ʸᵉᵃʳ ?? ᵐᵃʸᵇᵉ ⁱⁿ 𝓸𝓻𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓪, 𝓬𝓱𝓸𝓲𝓻, ᵒʳ 𝓭𝓻𝓪𝓶𝓪 𝓬𝓵𝓾𝓫 ?? ⁱ ʰᵉᵃʳᵈ ˢᵒᵐᵉ ʷⁱˡᵈ ʳᵘᵐᵒʳˢ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵗʰᵉ 𝓼𝓲𝔁𝓽𝓮𝓮𝓷 ʸᵉᵃʳ ᵒˡᵈ ˡᵃˢᵗ ˢᵉᵐᵉˢᵗᵉʳ, ᵇᵘᵗ ⁿᵒʷ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵉʸ’ʳᵉ ᵃ 𝓳𝓾𝓷𝓲𝓸𝓻 ⁱᵗ ᵐⁱᵍʰᵗ ᵇᵉ ᵃ ᵈⁱᶠᶠᵉʳᵉⁿᵗ ˢᵗᵒʳʸ. ᵃᶜᶜᵒʳᵈⁱⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵉⁱʳ ᶠʳⁱᵉⁿᵈˢ ᵗʰᵉʸ’ʳᵉ ᵖʳᵉᵗᵗʸ 𝓭𝓻𝓲𝓿𝓮𝓷, ᵇᵘᵗ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗⁱᵐᵉˢ 𝓼𝓱𝓮 ᶜᵃⁿ ᵇᵉ 𝓶𝓮𝓭𝓭𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰. ʷʰᵒ ᵏⁿᵒʷˢ, ᵗʰⁱˢ ᵐⁱᵍʰᵗ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵇᵉ 𝓱𝓮𝓻 ʸᵉᵃʳ !   」

LIGHTNING ROUND

full name: maya ruby matlin

date of birth: may 9, 2004 @ 11:50 AM (16y/o)

star signs: taurus sun, leo rising, capricorn moon

birth order: youngest

gender: cis female (she/her)

sexuality: bisexual

romanticism: biromantic

personality: ambivert, idealist, infp-t

moral alignment: neutral good

temperament: melancholy-choleric

hogwarts house: slytherin

spirituality: undecided, only vaguely spiritual

positive traits: tender, prodigious, visionary

negative traits: naive, intrusive, self-involved

faceclaim: kiernan shipka

AN OVERVIEW

tw: illness (multiple sclerosis), hospitals, overdose, addiction, eating disorder, mental illness, anxiety, depression

this interpretation of maya matlin is a little bit all over the place since i wanted to have her come in on a mostly fresh note (especially since so much is au around here so obviously a lot of her more formative plotlines didn't happen) but i wanted to keep what i consider to be some of her key character traits. so some liberties have been taken not that anyone ever cares xx

maya was interested in music from a very young age while simultaneously always having trouble with making friends. when she was in second grade and her parents noticed that she’d been invited to way less playdates and birthday parties than her older sister, katie matlin, did by her age, they figured getting her music lessons would be a good way to both enrich and socialize her. 

the cello was love at first sight for maya. her parents tried to talk her down to a violin since she was comically small compared to the larger instrument, but she couldn't be swayed. she was also a natural when she got her first lesson as a sort of trial run, and so maya x cello began.

growing up hearing things like gifted and talented, even child prodigy did make her ego grow with her, but it wasn’t without reason—even she could see how much she excelled in orchestra compared to her classmates, to the point where she took up other instruments along the way just to keep feeling challenged. but other than that, she didn’t have much going for her; her overall grades were pretty good, and she was generally nice to the other people at school (even the ones she had no problem telling her family she didn’t like) but no friendships ever stuck. music really was like her one thing. 

so, her parents did what they could to nourish it—including enrolling her in a middle school for the performing arts, which she loved. but in a few years when katie started high school at degrassi and was more well-rounded than ever—having friends, clubs, soccer, taekwondo, etc.—it really did highlight how little maya did outside of her little musical world. mr. & mrs. matlin started to worry that, in allowing and encouraging this, they were only enabling maya to alienate herself from other people and opportunities in the world. so, much to her dismay, the next year she, too, was enrolled at degrassi. 

with lots of cliques and friend groups carrying over from previous schools, maya felt like a new kid in the worst way. luckily for her, one kendra mason noticed how much she looked like a lost puppy and took her under her wing, already knowing her way around despite being in the same grade since she had an older brother in katie’s grade and already knew most of their peers. to say that maya latched onto bonding with kendra would be a massive understatement, and the two have been best friends ever since.

although maya’s made no secret of her disdain for how undemanding degrassi’s music curriculum is, with kendra’s friendship (and the way she has no problem telling maya when she’s being a little brat) she finally started branching out more, joining a few clubs, making some more friends, getting crushes (lots of crushes) and just enjoying being a teenager for the first time, like, ever. so, imagine her heartbreak when she found out kendra was gonna be going away to boarding school the following year. 

despite how much more involved she was now, maya started sophomore year feeling lost all over again. however, she at least knew that kendra’s ex, toby isaacs, would be missing kendra just as much as she did, especially since it wasn’t like they had broken up on bad terms. so the two gravitated towards each other—well, no, it was more like: maya gravitated towards him, which got them to hang out more and actually become closer friends, and that was nice for both of them...but maya also totally developed a big crush on toby in the process that was not only unrequited but unspoken about so that no one would ever know (except maybe katie, who could always read maya like a book). it really wasn’t even that she had any intention of dating him, he had just kind of become her closest friend at degrassi without kendra there and they both bonded over missing her and it was nice, and i mean, it’s toby, he’s nice, and funny, and adorable, and oh my god did maya not want to be feeling any kind of way about her best friend’s ex and had a whole lot of feelings about the whole thing and wrote a whole lot of songs about it that she never wants to see the light of day. but she never did get rid of the journal she wrote them in.

eventually she got over it, at first because the weirdness of it all turned her off from the whole idea of liking him, but then especially when she found out kendra was coming back. whether that had more to do with guilt about ever having crushed on toby in the first place or just the sheer excitement of getting her bestie again remains unclear. she just tries not to think about it too much. 

A RUNDOWN

maya’s trademark savior complex is still very present, having started with her mom; with her dad usually working and katie always busy, maya grew up spending a lot of time alone with her mother, who suffers from multiple sclerosis. while, fortunately, margaret matlin maintained a lot of her independence, some days were worse than others as with any chronic illness, and maya was always checking in on her and seeing if there was anything she could do to help. her compulsion to “save” her loved ones later grew when katie wound up hospitalized from an overdose, and maya learned (from general talk among the parents and medical staff) that not only did her sister have a pill addiction but had struggled with disordered eating as well. 

although none of it had anything to do with her, maya couldn’t help but feel like things might not have gotten so bad had she monitored katie more closely like she did their mother, but she didn’t want to make it about herself, so she just kept quiet about these thought patterns, only internalizing it more. at the fault of no one in particular, this developed into a sort of anxiety, which makes her worry a little too much about her friends and family—often to the point of nosiness or straight-up invasion of privacy in the pursuit of a maya matlin wellness check.  the fact that she goes to degrassi, of course, doesn’t make this any better, by the way, with all of the shit that goes down there all the time.

this habit of catastrophizing has also led to a currently undiagnosed mild depression, which often even seems totally latent in her behavior but does circle back to worsening her anxiety. she tends to fixate on stressors (usually personal, but sometimes as big as world events) and will have racing/spiraling thoughts. her lower points tend to be worsened based on circumstance, so she’s more likely to “look” or “seem” depressed in times of higher personal distress, contrasting the heightened nerves and paranoia that will often come beforehand (and serves as a good warning sign). basically, the girl needs therapy, we’ll get there eventually.

ANYTHING ELSE?

i definitely played up the amount she was affected by her mom and katie (even tho i will argue that those were starting points in her mental health journey) but since we’re in a super au and i was trying to serve fresh maya realness alongside later!maya personality/mentality traits, i kinda had to chopshop her backstory a little. that’s also why this turned out so long, i knew i had some differences that needed some explaining.

(also pls note if we do get a katie who doesn’t want to keep the aforementioned plots OR wants to change it up some, i’m obviously open to that!)

i also figure that maya’s relationship with katie would be figured out more when/if we get a katie, but by default, i like to imagine they’re very close with a pretty clear “wiser big sister looking out for her baby sister who thinks she knows everything” dynamic, like best friends but katie puts on the big sister hat when she needs to.

i’m also trying to be very mindful of her mental health because i don’t want her to be quite the extent she ever reaches in next class, but i did also appreciate and apparently relate to a lot of the nuances in how her mental illness really surfaced and inevitably spiraled. so she’s going to be a little mix of happy lil early day maya and the nervous wreck she became later one, with just a splash of next class’s touches like “disaster porn” and having days where stays home from school because she just feels too down. basically, it fluctuates.

maya kind of always knew that she was bi, but like, quietly, since it’s never really been a big deal to her but she also didn’t want to seem like she was looking for attention (not for that, anyway). she definitely acts more outwardly boy-crazy though.

she is also a serial crusher and goes through them faster than even she can keep up with. other than toby, some highlights of the crushes she’s had include: adam torres, alena montanez, alex nunez, amy peters-hoffman, ashley kerwin (like, right when she started her cool goth look), danny van zandt, dave turner, imogen moreno, reggie dever, sean cameron, spinner mason, yael baron, and obviously zig novak. she’s totally got a thing for cam saunders at the moment, and she thinks that craig is, like, the coolest, but not even in a dating kinda way just in a wow-you’re-so-cool-and-talented-i-wanna-open-up-for-you-on-tour-one-day-pls-notice-me-senpai kinda way. and she’s almost definitely felt some type of way about kendra that’s more than friends, more than once, at some point, but even she hasn’t realized that.

despite the fact that she’s got a song written for almost half the school, maya has never dated anyone or even had her first kiss! obviously nothing wrong with that, but a fun trivia bit.

the basement of the matlin house is practically dedicated to being maya’s studio. it’s like half practice room, half hangout, filled with just about every instrument maya took an interest in over the years (mostly string instruments, some miscellaneous, she’s currently trying to build up a drumset that she’s convinced she’s gonna teach herself, and her next fantasy/goal is to get a theremin) as well as an iMac with a composition and production softwares, a sound system, and then just like a couch and a tv and stuff. it’s a pretty impressive amount of musical equipment that looks like a lot (and it is) but again, it’s really like her one thing and her parents want her to be happy. most of it comes from various holidays and occasions since she only ever really asks for additions to her collection as gifts, so between that and random bits and pieces she saved up to buy herself (and a few her parents just felt like treating her to) it’s built up over the years. 

yeah i literally always play maya with this basement, it’s basically become a staple of my maya matlins, i’ve designed it a couple of times but i’ll probably redo it once more for this verse because it’s her favorite place to hang out.

aaand i’m gonna make myself end there because i’ll just keep going and this is already far too long but yeah welcome to the world my latest edition in maya matlins~ 

[hurlumerlu]

You already know who ;) Cad, Molly and Nott ?

Get ready for a novel !

Caduceus :D

Sexuality Headcanon : That man is G.A.Y. I’m hesitant to put him somewhere on the ace spectrum because I’m not ace myself and I feel like headcanoning sheltered, soft, slightly “weird” characters as ace comes with a lot of bagages (and there’s also fandom’s history of treating gay sex as icky/weird/not pure enough) but I’m drawn to that headcanon nonetheless. Gender Headcanon : He’s not super aware of his own gender, but if you actually ask him he would identify as a man. After a very longue pause. And he would probably thinks it’s kinda rude of you to ask. A ship I have with said character : I low-key ship everyone (but Beau) with him. He just has this very easygoing chemistry with pretty much everyone ? Except with Nott but I can see the two of them in a trouple with Yeza (they’re not sure how they got there ? but it works ?). But like who am I kidding, we all know I’m super into Fjord/Caduceus. The care ! The respect ! The awkwardness ! This is going to devolve into a Fjord/Caduceus manifesto so I’ll stop there. BROTP I have with said character : God squad ! The dynamic between Caduceus, Jester and Yasha is amazing, very tender  and supportive but also extremely fertile ground for wacky shenanigans, they straight up don’t speak the same language, I love them. I’m also very curious to see more interraction between him and Beau, partly because I love the way Taliesin and Marisha play off each other, but also partly because Cad’s very supportive of Beau and she seems a bit... distant ? with him ? idk I may be imagining things. A NOTP I have with said character : not really ? I mean Beau’s a lesbian so that would be a big no, but I’ve never seen people shipping them so it’s very theoretical. A random headcanon : He was the kind of kid who raises all sort of “gross” pets growing up. Spiders, snails, cockroaches... he loved them all, but he only kept his beetles. General Opinion over said character : I loved him from his very first sentence and that love have only grown so far ? I’m always a bit wary around very religious characters but with Cad it’s an interesting kind of nervousness rather than a dealbreaker or even a real downside of him. I like that we have completely different viewpoints ! I love how genuinely nice and supportive he is, I love when he does cryptid-level shit, I love his incredible ability to just go with the flow, I love when he gets snide (”sleep well with your bad decisions”) and I just love how well he fits within the Nein (poor dude had a rough start, they really didn’t appreciate him enough at first). I hope he’s going in a direction where he’ll feel more comfortable being cared for (rather than always being the one taking care of), but if he’s not I won’t be disapointed. I hope we also get more angry Caduceus, because that was sexy badass.

Molly :D

Sexuality Headcanon : Bi ! Gender Headcanon : Well he’s canonically nonbinary but I feel like he’s specifically interested in gender as something to subvert. A ship I have with said character : I was slowly getting into Molly/Fjord (I’m not sure they would have managed to encourage the best in each other but they would have been a very fun and hot couple). But, well, RIP. A BROTP I have with said character : Molly and Yashaaaaaaaa T-T. Also Beau and Molly’s relationship was fucking amazing, I still miss it. A NOTP I have with said character : Not really ? Though again, Beau/Molly would piss me off but I haven’t seen that pairing either. A random headcanon : He hasn’t actually had that much sex or many different partners, people just kinda assumed and since most of them seemed to disaprove, he leaned into it. General Opinion over said character : I love how messy and complex he was ! He could have been your usual cliche of a person who perform for a living (vain ! good liars ! egotistic !) but instead was very close in personnality to a lot of performers I actually met (pretending to be vain for fun and because everyone assumes already, lying=/=acting, very community minded because everyone has to pull their weight if you actually want to succeed). His weird relationship with his body/past was also both relatable and strange enough to be extremely engaging and his flaws made him very entertaining, also I think of the scene after the fight with the Manticore where he chats amiably with a bartender and only after that has a quiet mental breakdown over his drink at least once a week. I want to know more about his backstory soooooooo badly.

Nott :D

Sexuality Headcanon : As much as riot’s Beau/Nott headcanon does things for me, I must face the truth : in canon, Nott is incurably straight. Gender Headcanon : Clearly her womanhood is very important to her, but I don’t think she has the healthiest view of what being a woman entail. I just want her to be happy and not constantly doubting her worth T-T A ship I have with said character : Nott/Caleb, Nott/Yeza, Caleb/Nott/Yeza, Nott/Beau and my little crackship Nott/Yeza/Caduceus (and also Nott/Yasha is good, actually ?) A BROTP I have with said character : Caleb was the founder of the Nott stanning club, which demonstrates his good taste and perceptiveness. I also think the various revelations that came along the story made their relationship much less unbalanced and codependant, and thus stronger. But I’m also very partial to Jester and Nott’s friendship. They’re hilarious and sweet, and putting Laura and Sam next to each other was a stroke of genius. A NOTP I have with said character : uH... Nott/Yeza if it means Nott stops adventuring, I’m just not(t) ready for that. But other than that, I don’t have one A random headcanon : I’ve already written this one but like... if something she’s reading makes her feel too much feels she just. straight up it eat. She’s been like that since childhood. General Opinion over said character : ugh... she’s so good... she’s just a walking whirpool of contradictions, if walking whirlpools of contradictions were extremely smart and scientifically minded and fiercely protective of a chosen few people. I was ambivalent on the whole polymorph thing because i really, really love goblins (and have mixed feelings about my love for goblins, but let’s no go there tonight) but I love that she’s still her weird, abbrasive self. Also her design is fucking great. I really want to see her conflict between her desire to keep adventuring and her belief that she should just want to go back to her old life being explored even more than it already has, but if she does stop adventuring I will be heartbroken, I love her so much. EDIT because I was tired but I can’t believe I didn’t mention her voice, it’s so good ! Probably the first thing I loved about her.

thanks <3 <3 <3

[thealexchen]

[PART 3] Life is Strange 2 is so anti-toxic masculinity and I’m loving it (spoilers for episode 3):

My other “anti-toxic masculinity” posts (will be updated as episodes release): [Episode 1] [Episode 2] [Episode 4] [Episode 5]

And I’m back! This post took so long to write because at first glance, a lot of episode 3 does seem guilty of toxic masculinity. However, the way this episode’s relationships unfolded was complex, and most importantly, not reliant on gender roles or stereotypes.

Let’s start with Daniel:

- All of Daniel’s behavior: his disobedience, confrontations with Sean, abusing his powers, and aggression-- is presented as the conflict. 

- Daniel is not the antagonist here, but instead the powers that make him overconfident and disregard others, and by extension, the societal forces pressuring him to act the way he does. As he says, “I know I’m not always nice with you, but things aren’t nice anymore,” and he believes he has to be powerful (violent and scary) to be “grown-up” in response to the harsh, violent setting he now lives in.

- Through Daniel, Dontnod portrays traits related to toxic masculinity as bad: they’re detrimental to his character, an obstacle in the middle of his and Sean’s character arcs, and those around him.

As for Sean:

- Sean is given more focus in this episode as he is revealed to be bi, but the best part is that his personality does not drastically change. That sends the message that Sean’s sensitivity, kindness, and emotional responses are independent of his sexuality. He’s not emotional and sensitive (usually interpreted as “non-masculine”) because he’s not straight, that’s just the way he’s always been.

- Now that romance is in the mix, it’s nice to see Sean being respectful of boundaries and that there were no lustful or invasive moments played off for laughs or “boys will be boys.�� 

- For all of Daniel’s brattiness and defiance, Sean remains level-headed. Like episode 2, he never raises his voice at Daniel or is rough with him, in stark contrast to the flashback at the beginning of the episode. Most importantly, the brother’s bonding moment in the tent has Daniel apologizing and opening up about his problems and Sean telling Daniel a bedtime story about them always being together.

Also, AGAIN WITH TEARS. Both brothers can cry twice each in this episode:

- 1st time: Sean has tears on his face while talking about his worst memory. If Sean’s too wasted, Daniel will cry while admitting that he feels like he’s letting everyone down. In both cases, the brothers aren’t afraid to be emotional, vulnerable, and honest around their teenage and adult friends, even though they’ve only known them for about a month. He can also admit to the others that Daniel’s powers scare him, another act of vulnerability.

- 2nd time: Daniel has angry tears when he turns back to glare at Sean while lifting the tree trunk at the lake. Under all the anger, Daniel is just a lonely, sad, and hurt kid who wants his old life back.

- 3rd/4th time: Sean starts crying out of stress during the heist when Merrill catches him. No doubt affected by the trauma of his dad’s death, you can clearly hear how torn up he is while telling Daniel to obey. If Finn dies, both brothers will cry again. Otherwise, Daniel will have tears of pain on his face after he is shot.

Now, the two major relationships:

- Episode 3 demonstrates anti-toxic masculinity the most through how neither Finn/Sean or Cassidy/Sean fall into any gender stereotypes or roles:

- Sean, Finn, and Cassidy don’t act in any overtly feminine or masculine way when interacting with each other, romantic or not. None of them feel pressured to act a certain way. They just exist as they are.

- Cassidy isn’t submissive around Sean: she tells him he doesn’t need to be her white knight, and while she’s angry about Sean’s rejection (which I hated), she doesn’t pressure him into having sex because of his gender or any other assumptions.

Bonus: Penny is a superb addition to the LiS cast. An out black gay man (!!!), his sexuality is treated as normally as everyone else’s, and his backstory introduces homophobia without it being played up for drama or shock value.

Episode 3 presents a diverse cast of new characters and fleshes out Sean’s character as not only a bisexual man of color but a teen struggling to make sense of the world around him and raise his younger brother. I love how Life is Strange 2 encourages communication, kindness, and morality through its male protagonist, and crafts complex characters alongside a very human story.

[starfast]

Happy Storyteller Saturday! How has your work/process changed since you started writing?

Oh boy, that’s a big question. The way I work hasn’t really changed much other than outlining more than I did when I first started (as opposed to just winging it). And tbh, I think I’m still trying to figure out different things that work for me.

As for the stories themselves, a lot of them have changed in really big ways. 

Cross the Kingdom

Originally, rather than each character having a unique ability they all had the same kind of magic (kinda similar to what you would see in Harry Potter). 

Took place in a medieval Europe setting; Caleb and Eva lived on a farm rather than in the city. 

In a really early version Matthew was actually one of the main antagonists. 

Speaking of Matthew, I was going to kill him off at the end of book 2 but then I unlocked his backstory and idk it felt like a waste to kill him after I figured out his character more. 

Crispin and Eva were going to end up together. I’ve kind of changed my mind about how I feel about them as a couple, and I feel like Crispin especially really just needs to work on himself a bit before putting him in a relationship.

Gerard originally had the ability to manipulate other people’s emotions (which I’m not even sure how that would work since he can barely control his own). He’s aerokinetic now. 

Magic Keepers

Honestly, I first came up with this story when I was like 12 and it has changed a lot since then. But some of the bigger changes include: 

The setting was originally medieval Europe inspired for this one as well. Currently, each of  the Five Nations are based on a different part of Europe or Asia (although Faralia was always a desert nation).

There were actually six nations originally. I changed it to five because the sixth one was really underdeveloped compared to the other ones (and I also found out that there’s actually a First Nations reserve called the Six Nations and being not Native I felt weird about using the name “Six Nations for my fantasy world knowing that.)

Everyone had a love interest. Literally everyone. 

Dreamers were people who had the ability to dream the future. It ended up creating a bunch of plot holes though, so I changed their ability. 

There weren’t any gods in the original. Magic Keepers just kinda randomly got their abilities and it was just supposed to be one of those things that you don’t really question because it’s a fantasy (12 year old Starfast didn’t know how to worldbuild). 

Most of the characters were Mary Sues and were the best at things that they had literally no formal training in (one of my characters was a 15 year old peasant going up against trained soldiers and actually winning... wtf?)

Most of the characters have changed in some way, but Milo is probably the one who has changed the most. Originally everyone liked him even when it would make more sense for them to not like him. He was kind of like a typical lawful good, knight in shining armour character. Now he’s a lot more morally grey. 

The original was all over the place, and such a hot mess honestly. I’m really glad I decided to revisit it, because it’s really cool to see how complex this world has become and how much its changed since I first came up with it. 

Immortal Minds

This one is still kind of under construction tbh, but anyways:

Andor and Ara were both straight in the original (now they’re bi and aro-ace respectively). 

Ara’s hometown has changed a couple times. Currently he’s from Montreal, but before that he was from Calgary and I think at one point before that he was from the Vancouver Islands (Nanaimo, iirc). 

Andor’s younger brother was a super important character at one point and now he’s like... very irrelevant. Actually this one has had a ton of scrapped characters tbh. 

Dallas was originally really into music. Like, his only goal in life was just to be a rock star (which was why I chose the name Dallas for him. I thought it was a good rock star name). 

The original version of Ara was a lot more laid back and kind of more of like a mysterious badass character. He and Andor actually used to get along pretty well, and Ara actually used to drive a motorcycle. He’s kind of turned into a judgy control freak who probably wouldn’t go within a 12ft radius of a motorcycle. 

There’s probably a ton more, but it’s kind of hard to talk about changes to the story when there’s so much up in the air at the moment. 

[flying-elliska]

What are the important bisexual characters that you said helped you? I am having a hard time finding good bi representation in which they aren’t considered promiscuous or unstable

Hiya anon ! What a quality question, thank you ! Here’s another mini essay about bi rep lmao.  If there are some that I forgot please tell me ! And to everyone, tell me about the bi characters who made an impact on your life, I’d love to know !!!!

Okay so.

-  When I answered the anon and talked about the characters that helped me come to terms with my sexuality, I talked about two in particular. Jack Harkness from Torchwood is depicted as very promiscuous, and somewhat instable. He still meant a lot to me because a) him sleeping around was never that much of a problem, it was because he was from the future, where things were different, which I thought was refreshing and b) his instability was because of the weight of being an immortal hero. Also fanon!Dean Winchester from SPN, as an older, more macho, emotionally witholding, badass dude written as bi meant a lot to me, but he doesn’t really avoid that stereotype either. But at least they were heroes.  However, I can understand wanting bi characters that actually don’t fit that stereotype, because bi people irl aren’t all like that, even if there is nothing wrong per se about sleeping with a lot of different people, or having mental issues to struggle with. And that was a while ago and now we have more and more cool characters ! Such as :

- Rosa Diaz from Brooklyn Nine-Nine. One of the best portrayals of bisexuality on TV imho. She didn’t start out as bi, she was this tough, cool, scary but with a heart of gold cop who had a lot of other plotlines before. But then, since they saw that a lot of wlw got this vibe from her, were really into her, and the actress came out as bi herself, they decided to use this. So it was super organic, and the way they introduced the subject was true to Rosa herself ; she’s a super private person, she doesn’t like anybody knowing about her life (it’s actually a running joke and Rosa Diaz has been implied to not even be her real name). But then she is dating a woman, and struggles with her parents not understanding and her coworkers find out, help her and support her. Her gay captain is there for her in his typical stoic but hilarious way. They organize game night with her when her parents won’t anymore. We see her crushing on women and dating, but it is treated exactly as the other character’s love life, they never make a big deal out of it. She isn’t the token queer character. She says outright she is bisexual and there is a specific point about her mom not understanding it’s not a phase and thinking she’ll end up with a man anyway, which #relatable. The focus is on the team as found family. Also right now she’s dating a butch woman, which is awesome since they are so underrepresented on TV and I hope we see more of her. That show really is my comfort show, it’s still bloodly hilarious and it really transcends the format to say some really deep woke stuff too, but never in a way that feels on the nose. Everyone should watch it tbh. 

- Korrasami ! Oh my god, I was so blown away when they got together. They’re two characters from the animated series Legend of Korra, they start out as rivals in love who have feelings for the same guy, but as they have to fight baddies together, they become bestest of friends, and both fall out of love with the guy. Then in season 3 and 4, their relationship becomes central to the show, as Asami stands by Korra through some really tough shit. Also, they’re both ultra badass and fight really well together. A lot of fans started reading their chemistry as romantic, but we’d never thought they’d actually go there. But the show ends with them walking into the ‘sunset’ (well, the spirit lands) together, holding hands. Now, it was never completely explicit on the show BUT they were dealing with a lot of censure from the networks and you have to be willingly obtuse not to read it as romantic. And after that the creators drew them on dates, and there is a comic series in which they are shown kissing, talking about their feelings, introducing each other to their families, etc. It made me feel so validated when it happened, and I just adore the whole ‘love triangle ditches the middle one and fall in gay love with each other’ trope. (is it a trope yet ? it should be.) It’s still a kids show at its core, but it has amazing depth and deals with some very deep shit. Korra starts off as a bit annoying but she has a really cool development, she’s a girl character we need more of - brave, dynamic but also brash and reckless and action driven in ways that are almost always exclusively shown for boys. And Asami is a more typical girly girl but she’s also a brilliant engineer and has a spine of steel and she’s also very slyly funny. They’re amazing. And the comics are super cute. 

- Now there are a lot of characters who are bi/pan that I love, and are good characters in themselves, but their arcs do intersect in some ways with promiscuity and mental instability. I’m thinking about Even from Skam and all his remake variants, Magnus Bane from Shadowhunters, several characters from Black Sails, Sarah Lance and Constantine from Legends of Tomorrow, Eleanor Shellstrop from the Good Place, Bo from Lost Girl, Ilana from Broad City, Joe McMillan from Halt and Catch Fire, God/Chuck from Supernatural (lmaooooo), several characters on Penny Dreadful, or in a totally different category, Vilanelle from Killing Eve or Hannibal from the series (who are hella bad guys but it’s never linked to their sexuality, and are also incredibly compelling to watch.)

 And even though these characters taken individually, I would argue, are good rep because they’re complex and layered and interesting and never one-dimensional (and watching them feels incredibly empowering at times)....it’s still a trend. I feel like when writing a character that is attracted to multiple genders, there is always this sort of...tangle of tropes that writers default to, unconsciously. Some negative and some positive. It used to be this trope of bis being villainous, instable, jealous, flaky, immature, perverted, manipulative, cheaters, amoral, greey, etc...and then it evolved into something of a reclaiming and subverting this trope. So now you feel like the Bi Character kind of has to be badass, glamorous, seductive, often superpowered or extraordinary in other ways.. And they also for multiple reasons (they’re immortal, they’re sensitive artist souls, they’re from the future, they’re psycho, they’re exccentric comic relief, they’re daring adventurers and pioneers) don’t care about social norms which allows them to sleep and fall in love with whomever. And so they tend to have those super busy romantic/sexual histories and very troubled backstories. In the past it was a bad thing, now it’s often presented as this positive, enlightened or at least fun and badass thing. They’re heroic, with big hearts, a tremendous lust for life and a cool rebellious attitude. They’re complex, dramatic, tortured. Which can be super cool, too. 

But it would be nice to have more ‘normal’ bi characters. I mean, boring bisexuals need to see themselves represented too ! Our sexualities don’t give us super powers. At the same time, it is true that bisexual ppl have higher rates of mental illness, which deserves to be explored, but it would be nice if it was actually articulated and not just part of this trope.  But still. We need rep, I think, that is more grounded and varied. So I think that’s also why I read a lot of fanfic. (I was really into the idea of bi Steve Rogers for a long time, partly also because he’s both very mentally resilient, kinda boring in a good way, and very unexperienced in terms of sex/romance, which is pretty much the opposite of the trope)

- I think books, and YA in general, are a good place to find these ‘normal bis’ characters. I’m thinking in particular of Leah from Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli (from the same book series that gave us the ‘Love, Simon’ movie) which is a super sweet coming of age/romance story about a super normal teenager who just happens to be also into girls (esp her best friend) and is loud and funny and very lovable and has zero doubts about being bi. You also have Adam Parrish from the Raven Cycle, another one of my forever faves ; he has an abusive family so PTSD from that but it never feels tropey, and it’s completely detached from his sexuality. He has magic powers, too. But his character feels completely opposite to the trope. He’s hardworking, somewhat withholding, prickly (and sometimes awkward), ambitious, determined, down to earth, and has a beautiful love story with another boy. And also Jane, from Jane Unlimited by Kristin Cashore, also really cool ; she’s a nerdy, smart girl who is actually inspired by Jane Eyre who has cool adventures in a weird house where we can follow her on different paths depending on the choices she makes, several of which are love stories. And finally the main character from The Seven Husbands from Evelyn Hugo, kinda fits the trope yeahhh since she’s a super glam actress who well, has seven husbands but it’s a pretty clever deconstruction since it turns out (slight spoilers) that Evelyn is actually through most of her life faithful in heart to the same person and the rest is mostly out of necessity, and her story feels very real and raw and down to earth. 

- I don’t go there yet but I really want to check out Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Schitt’s Creek which I have read have very good bi rep. And I want to catch up on Orphan Black (Cosima and Delphine both don’t have exact labels but they’re multi-gender attracted and they’re this cool couple of scientists in a relationship that gets a happy ending). I will never forgive what they did to Lexa so I stopped watching but I do think that Clarke Griffin from The 100 is very good bi rep. Alexia from Skam France, meanwhile, is a bit of a boundary case for me because, even though she’s presented as the ‘weird one’ from the group, very colorful and liberated and exccentric, she’s still a very normal teen who’s happy and comfortable in her own skin, which is awesome. 

- Disclaimer, I included characters in here that are also pan/omnisexual or don’t have a label but are attracted to several genders, for the purpose of this discussion i don’t think the difference is all that relevant at least to me (i mostly identify as bi for the sake of simplicity but tbh i could also fit under pan so i feel represented by all those characters). But I understand the importance of characters that state their identities more clearly and with pride. 

- So in conclusion : there is nothing wrong with having a sexually active life or struggling mentally (even tho that one is not fun). And I do love all my badass casanova time travelling super powered bis. 

But we need more bi characters that don’t fit that trope. We need bi characters in children’s shows, or that don’t have more than one relationship, or that don’t have a relationship at all, to break the tendency to always show bisexual ppl as overly sexual. We need bi characters in committed relationships to break this idea that bi characters are bound to cheat or can’t be satisified with only one person. We need bi characters that are mentally stable and successful and happy, to show that it’s possible. We need bi characters that are boring, bookish, nerdy, ordinary, clumsy, not particularly seductive, socially awkward, rule-sticklers, etc...to show that bi people are not all party animals, or doing it for attention, or to be wild, rebellious and socially progressive. It’s just a sexuality, it doesn’t say anything about your personality. Even though there are some correlations with MI or being bi might bring you in contact with more progressive ideas and to see life a bit differently, there is nothing automatic about it. 

- In conclusion, reading testimonies from real people also helped me a lot. It’s a very dated but I got the book “ Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out “ when I was struggling with my own sexuality and it helped a lot, to read that even back then (1991) you had all sorts of regular ppl claiming to be bi and that it was not a phase or a fad or whatever. 

[fandomoverflow]

My Thoughts On Dark Age (SPOILERS)

My pre-ordered copy of Dark Age arrived in the mail on Friday afternoon, four days before the official release day. The only thing stopping me from reading it right then and there was the fact that I was about to leave for a four-hour shift bagging groceries. But as soon as I got home I got pumped up on sugar, took a shower, got in my pajamas, and sat down to read. One all-nighter, a two-hour power nap, another shift at work, and then finally a good night sleep later, I am empty inside from all the screaming and crying I did over the course of this monstrosity of a book.

Pierce Brown has done it. He actually did it. We were all expecting that the ending of Dark Age would put the heart-rending ending of Golden Son to shame. And not only did he manage to top that level of shock, betrayal, and beloved character death, he did it all before the book was even half-way over. Pierce said that Dark Age is the most complex, violent, and intimate book he’s ever written, and all I have to say to that is “understatement of the bloodydamn century.”

There are so many things to talk about but for the sake of avoiding spoilers for people who don’t have early pre-ordered copies, I’ll put my spoiler thoughts under the cut. The one non-spoiler thing I’ll say is this: After Iron Gold was only divided into three sections, Dark Age takes us back to the saga standard four.

Part I was pretty much one long battle, and I have to say that this is one of the most visceral, in the trenches action sequence in the entire saga to date. Part I was told exclusively from the POVs of Darrow and Lysander as they prepare for war. And the chaos and reality of war is a very big shock to Lysander’s system. For everyone hoping he’d his ass handed to him, it is immensely cathartic to have Lysander’s battle group get demolished by Darrow’s Howlers like they’re an afterthought. And to add insult to injury, Lysander ends up pinned under a discarded starShell while a second one lands with its burning thrusters right next to his face.

The battle aside, the tension between the Core and the Rim Golds when Lysander arrived was a delight. And the contrast between Atalantia and Ajax’s initial reactions to learning that Lysander is alive and how they behave later really adds both a lot of dimension to the politics of Gold as well as to Lysander’s own backstory, while at the same time fleshing out the new characters and really selling the history they have with Lysander.

The moment that impacted me the most was the realization that a prediction I’d made after the excerpt had come true. In the prologue, Darrow told his team that if they couldn’t rescue Orion their orders were to kill her instead to protect the Republic. In the chapter after that, he mentions that he suspected that Colloawy helped Orion cheat her psych evaluation. And while she and Darrow had similarly low opinions of the bureaucracy of the senate, Orion was noticeably more cynical. And when Darrow started preparing the Storm Gods (the weather machines used to terraform Mercury for those who are reading this not caring about spoilers) he asked Rhonna about his insurance policy.

So, even before Orion went beyond Darrow’s orders and took the Storm Gods to full strength, I knew that Darrow was going to have to order the death of someone close to him in order to protect others. It just never occurred to me that it would still be Orion. I really wish we had gotten to hear more about her backstory or get a mention of her love life in Iron Gold, because I remember Pierce saying somewhere that Orion would be married in the sequel trilogy. Her interactions with Darrow in the beginning of Dark Age were really sweet, but knowing in hindsight that her days were numbered, I wish we’d gotten more time with her in the past.

Mustang’s prologue is not only the second time since Red Rising that we’ve had an intro that immediately jumps back in time to show us how we got to that point, but it also is the first time where Pierce has written the prologue in such a way that it omits the details that the audience will be aware of when we get to this scene again. (And the two months detail is an intentional lie because adding up the time and Virginia’s comments puts this at just over a week past Darrow’s section of the prologue). The first time around, this scene looks like the middle of a catastrophe, that Darrow and his armies have been pinned down and Mustang is desperately sending whatever aid she can to help. But after reading through the heart pounding action of the Ash Rain in Part I, we realize that this speech is declaring victory.

Mustang’s POV is a godsend not only for how beautifully Pierce writes her, but also that we get to see how she interacts with all of the other characters when Darrow’s not there. She and Daxo are adorable in the way they joke and tease each other like siblings. (And I had to laugh at the running joke about the design his office being a metaphor for his virility) Her political maneuvering against Dancer were full of cathartic backhanded burns. Seeing her pull a Katniss to sway the Silver senators was glorious, and the way she knows Sevro’s in the room before he even announces his presence and immediately tells him to stop wanking in the shadows and come talk to her.

It was a delight to watch her be ten steps ahead of everyone else – how she allowed Victra and Sefi’s scheming to happen because their objectives were pieces of her own master plan to unite the Republic and get everyone back on track towards defeating Atalantia. Seeing her turn the tables and play mind games with the Duke of Hands was a sight to behold.

But one of my favorite parts of her early chapters was where Dancer finally took his head out of his ass, came down off his high horse, and stopped treating her and Darrow like shit. In the process, we learned a great deal about Dancer’s backstory and how he joined the Sons of Ares that just adds so many layers to his character.

I did think it was a bit tragic that we only learned that Dancer was Gay and Daxo was Bi right before they got killed off, but that doesn’t take away from the joy of knowing that two characters I’ve loved throughout the series are canonically queer. I’m glad that if Dancer had to die, he at got to redeem himself in the eyes of the fans before he bit the dust.

And to the aforementioned killing off, we get to Golden Son levels of shock, betrayal, and heartbreak less than halfway through the book. Mustang was always ten steps ahead of everyone else and just when it finally seemed like she would get everything she wanted, when she and Dancer and Sevro put their heads together and figured out that Senator Publius cu Caraval was the Syndicate’s spy, it all fell apart. Publis poisoned Dancer and pointed the already riled up Vox Populi mobs at Mustang accusing her of murdering the voice of the Vox, and the coup began. Daxo was killed when the Syndicate Queen showed up personally to lead the mob. And when we finally see her, she’s wearing fleshmasks and contacts to look like a Red, but Mustang immediately recognizes the face of the long-thought-dead Lilath au Faran.

But while Lilath may have been working with Atalantia, she isn’t the top of the Syndicate food chain. Mustang is smarter than just about every character in the Red Rising setting, but from what we’ve seen Atalantia isn’t that smart. There is only one person smart enough to so thoroughly derail Mustang’s plans. One person smart enough to know how she thinks and what she’s doing. And that is the only person in the setting who can rival her intelligence: her brother.

There were multiple moments in the first half of Dark Age that hit me in the stomach and left my reeling emotionally. But a ten-year-old clone of the Jackal walking into the Vox Populi’s show trial for Mustang alongside Lilath and the surviving Boneriders was the first moment in Dark Age that made me put the book down and start loudly screaming curses at the air.

Though his introduction was chilling, his scenes afterwards actually had me much more contemplative. When Mustang is forced to have dinner with the Boneriders, Adrius II starts making puzzles like Adrius I used to do with Mustang when they were kids, and he gives them to Lilath to solve. Lilath can’t solve them but of course Mustang can, and without Nero’s constant presence in their lives it actually felt like both Mustang and Adrius were having actual, genuine fun during this exchange.

And Mustang following this up by revealing that she still has all the old ones that original Adrius made as kids was both really sweet and also the first crack between the Jackal and his boneriders. Because Lilath and the Boneriders put the Jackal on such a pedestal that they only ever told Adrius II about the parts of his original self they admired and ignored little details they didn’t consider important, Adrius II is going through some Clone Angst. He feels secure in who he is, but he doesn’t know if he wants to be what the original Adrius was. And Mustang reveals that she kept all the puzzles demonstrated that Lilath and the Boneriders would never love any version of Adrius the way he wanted to be loved.

I trust that Pierce didn’t introduce Adrius II just for the sake of having The Jackal back. It would be too cliché, and extremely predictable to go that route. What would make a compelling story, and one that fits in with Pierce’s worldview and the themes of the Red Rising series, is if Adrius II spends the next book wrestling with whether he wants to follow in the footsteps of the original in a classic nature vs. nurture conflict would be so fascinating and I really can’t wait to see how that gets pulled off (it helps me cope with the fact that Brainwashed Evil Sevro is something that the Boneriders have threatened).

But I really love how Mustang could clearly see that potential in Adrius II, and the only reason she didn’t talk it out more and help him through that internal conflict is because it would take more time than she had, and she had bigger fish to fry. I really hope her means of escape didn’t sour Adrius II towards the path of redemption. And I really hope that Adrius doesn’t get the chance to follow through on his threat to wipe Sevro’s mind.  

As far as the other characters go, Ephriam had some of the best character development in the entirety of Dark Age. Watching him gradually become invested in the future of Sefi’s AllTribe was very beautiful and heartwarming. He’d spent all of the last decade stuck in the anger stage of grief over Trigg’s death but over the course of Dark Age and helping Sefi it really felt like he was starting to reach the acceptance stage and get closure. His interactions with Ozgard even felt a little shippy, even if I knew he wasn’t ready for another relationship. But watching Ephriam find a new purpose in life and a place in the post-Rising world was a sight to behold. And then the machination of Atlas au Raa had to bring it all crashing down.

The Ascomani King showing up and claiming to be Ragnar’s father was a cruel twist of Society planning – they know the Obsidians worship Ragnar, and they know that Sefi has the power to unite all the tribes. So, they let her create her AllTribe and then had her replaced as leader with their own puppet.

It was a cruel twist that out of all the POV characters, Ephriam would be the one to die. If he had gone with backup he would have been able to stop the coup, but I understand why he went alone. Going alone meant that he didn’t drag Volga into the mess he was trying to protect her from, and he didn’t want to force her into the role of Queen. It was really sweet when she called him her father, and I really like how she chose to go with the Obsidians at the end not out of duty, but to finish what her father helped start. I look forward to seeing how she deals with infiltrating the Obsidians and taking her rightful place on Aunt Sefi’s throne.

Okay, I pretty much think at this point it’s a given that by the time this series is over Lyria and her nephew and Volga will have been adopted into the August/Reaper-Telemanus-Barca clan. I mean, Volga is Ragnar’s daughter why wouldn’t they make her part of the family. But honestly, following Victra and Lyria and Volga as they fight to survive in the Martian wilderness with the Pandora destroyed and the Red Hand on their heels was one of my favorite parts of the book. Their bickering was funny, but things quickly took a turn for the heartwarming when Victra ended up going into labor and Lyria was the one who helped her through it.

The conversation between Victra and Lyria while Victra is giving birth about their different experiences and their different perspectives was one of the most emotional conversations in the book, and it really warmed my heart when a few chapters later Lyria referred to Victra and Volga as her friends.

But then the Red Hand just had to attack. If you are triggered or easily upset by scenes where harm is done to an infant, or where you see the aftermath of harm done to an infant, you are going to be upset for almost all of Lyria’s chapters for the remainder of Dark Age following the birth. The crimes of Harmony and her Red Hand goons are numerous. They have killed and mutilated countless Reds for the sole crime of being Gamma. But somehow it took the sight of the newborn Barca baby nailed to a tree for me to viscerally demand their demise. I was screaming and raw when I read that scene, desperately praying that it was a different baby and that little Ulysses was okay. But no. She may not have done the deed, but she condoned and encouraged that kind of thing by her men, and we can now add infanticide to the list of Harmony’s crimes.

Which is why I am so, so glad that not only did Lyria manage to single-handedly orchestrate the final destruction of the Red Hand, but that she and Victra were the ones who did Harmony in. Harmony being thrown into a nest of adult Pitvipers was one of the most cathartic moments in the series since the fight against Aja in Morning Star, and I could not be happier that she’s finally gone.

I haven’t really talked about Darrow and Lysander since the beginning because while their story is important to what’s happening overall everything is happening in such a condensed time frame, and with Darrow and Lsyander’s chapters being focused on Atalantia’s siege of Mercury, we only really drop in for the important parts:

It was frustrating to see Lysander’s commitment to the hierarchy hardened by his experiences on Mercury, and it was heartbreaking to see Lysander lead the charge that overwhelmed Darrow’s defenses and allowed Atalantia’s armies into the Free Legions’ last stronghold. Watching the lowColors of Mercury reject the Republic was devastating both to me and Darrow, and it was heartdreaking to watch what was left of the Republic forces slowly dwindling as Lysander’s offensive went on.

But it was all the more cathartic when Casssius showed up to evacuate the survivors before they could be completely wiped out. I knew that Cassius’ death was faked, but there are still a few questions about how he got away from the Rim. That being said, I’m thrilled that after a decade in exile, Cassius has officially joined the Republic to help his friends.

Dark Age is truly the darkest hour for our heroes in a way that tops even Golden Son. Mercury has been retaken by Atalantia. Earth has fallen to the Rim-Core alliance. Luna has gone the way of the Death Eater-run Ministry of Magic in Harrpy Potter – with the Jackal Clone and his Bone Riders pulling the strings of a Vox Populi puppet government. Only Mars remains free. Despite causing chaos on Venus off-page Apollonius has seemingly joined forces with Lysander against Darrow. Sefi is dead and her dream of a united Obsidian nation has been coopted by a Society puppet masquerading as her and Ragnar’s father. Sevro is still in the clutches of Adrius II, who has threatened to use the same technology that Octavia used to modify Lysander’s memories to completely erase Sevro’s mind.

I trust Pierce Brown to pull of a finale that resolves all of this and gives us a satisfying ending. There are still unknown variables that we can’t predict. We don’t see the Rim at all during the events of the novel and the negotiations between them and the Core happen off page. We only see Apollonius in two short scenes. And to top it off we know that Pierce Brown has a history of writing unreliable narrators who hide their plans from the audience. While we’ve seen it with Darrow and Mustang, he hasn’t done it with Lyria or Ephriam, and we haven’t seen any such deceptive narration from Lysander yet.

So, time will tell not only how Pierce resolves all of this. But in the meantime, #PrayForSevro. It’s going to be a long two years while we wait for the final book.

[lira-starlights]

Top LGBTQ+ Books You Must Read

It’s been a while since Pride Month, but it shouldn't stop you from reading a great book! Ordering them from 1-7 was one of the hardest thing I've done, but below are my personal favorite books/graphic novels that feature an LGBTQ+ character.

7. Simon vs the Homosapien's Agenda-Becky Albertalli

Well, this is one of the fluffiest YA romance you'll ever read. The story is narrated by Simon, a closeted high school boy with the greatest friends ever (I am not kidding: Abby and Leah are just the most supportive friends). He's found a boy too;  a boy with a nickname Blue, who goes to his school, but Simon has no idea who he is. They're great penmates, discussing the most serious topics about how being in the closet is tough. All is well. . . UNTIL another classmate, Martin finds the emails and starts blackmailing Simon. And Martin wants a girl really badly. A girl, who is Simon's best friend. And so begins a chaotic romance; as Simon begins to fall more and more for Blue, can he finish what Martin instructed him to do without breaking friendships, without him and Blue getting outed, and ultimately find who Blue is. . . and be together? This is such a great book because there is a sense of mystery to it, and you want to know so badly who Blue is. The emails between Blue and Simon were simply adorable, and no matter what stupid things Simon does, you want to support him. Finally, as mentioned before, HIS FRIENDS are the most inclusive, loving, supportive people in the world, and honestly? #Friendshipgoals. 

6. They Both Die At The End- Adam Silvera

The only word that describes this, is DEVASTATINGLY BEAUTIFUL. Based in a sci-fi-esque world where you are told when you are going to die, Mateo and Rufus, both 18 meet through an app where people can spend their last day with another person who’s going to die. And so begins a bucket list adventure with Mateo and Rufus. As they share secrets and start to become closer, time is ticking in the background. Is the death call true? Can true love stop time? And how do you live your last day to the best? 

Both characters were so vibrant and the different storylines, deep backstory, etc. were well crafted. I dare you not to cry over this masterpiece. (Plus the cover is gorgeous!)

5. What If It's Us- Adam Silvera and Becky Albertalli

This is another piece by Adam Silvera AND Becky Albertalli! Both are my favorite authors so it was such a great book. It’s a meet-cute romance where Ben and Arthur meet in the dreamy summer NY and the romance that blooms between them. But Arthur is going to go back home in a month. And Ben? Well school’s going to start soon. Is 1 month enough for a never ending romance? What if it is? But what if it’s not?  

The ending took me off guard but it was such a perfect ending for this perfect book. Though the characters could be quite ignorant sometimes, the magic of NY is going to capture you for sure. (Also, if you love musicals/Harry Potter, the references will be most enjoyable)

4. Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe-Benjamin Alire Sanez

I don’t even have to explain why I love this book. Its won 4 awards afterall.

Based in the 1990s, it’s a beautifully written book about friendship and perhaps something more.  In the summer Ari meets Dante, a 15 year old boy and they just click. With multiple adventures and a big car accident, they become closer than ever. And when Ari starts falling for Dante, what will happen between them?

What I really loved about this book is that it dealt with so many teenage problems, and instead of being all lovey-dovey, it focuses on the power of friendship which I think was beautiful. 

3. Red, White, and Royal Blue- Casey McQuinston

An escapist romance about a prince falling in love with the first son of the US! Alex is the first son of the US, and his mother is the president of the US. His nemesis is the prince of UK, Henry. And he plans to keep it that way. Until the day of the royal wedding. Alex during the wedding is  exasperated at Henry and drunk. So it is not a surprise when Alex  knocks down a $2000 wedding cake. For damage control, the UK/US handlers force Alex and Henry to be best friends. At first this is a burden, but then it turns out Henry is not that bad. And then. . .he falls for Henry. In this unforbidden romance can Henry and Alex find a way to be proudly couples while politics is in their hands?

I just loved Alex’s personality and he is one of the memorable characters I know. Also, the romance is just so fluffy and adorable. Plus, it’s political, which I always love. 

2. Carry On- Rainbow Rowell

This is a sequel-ish book to the famous “Fangirl” by Rainbow Rowell. Another “chosen one” magic story, Carry On is a magical adventure with much more romance than Harry Potter. Simon Snow is a chosen boy with strong magical powers. His roomate, Baz, is his nemesis and have a high chance of being a vampire. But when a ghost turns up to send a message to Baz to Simon, they must work together a mystery that keeps unraveling. 

Baz is such a softie at heart and it makes me swoon. I really can’t wait for the sequel, “Wayward Son”!

1. AUTOBOYOGRAPHY -Christina Lauren

Finally, the number one book (in my opinion). “Autoboyography”! First off, the cover is just gorgeous, and the title is one of the smarter ones I’ve seen. A romance between a Mormon boy and a closeted bi boy, it deals with the complexity of religion and true love. Tanner, a confident young man is one of the few non-Mormons in Provo, Utah, where most people are Mormon. When he meets Sebastian Brother for his story writing class, he falls for him. Hard. And so this insta-love story begins. Will both of them be able to love each other? Or will beliefs get in the way?

At first I wasn’t that interested in this book, because it was an insta-love story. However, the story had more complexity in the end and I felt the pain throughout the book. 

Hope you liked this list!

[lesbiangenkai]

i forgot i got tagged in this meme thing by @miss-heidi!!!

Rules: Name ten favorite characters from ten different things (books, tv, film, etc.) then tag ten people (note: i’m just gonna name anime stuff cause of the blog theme and also i can’t remember 90% of media that i watch so. also whoever sees this can do it if they want) 

yu yu hakusho: this is really hard cause it always varies between the main four but it’s a hard tie between kurama and kuwabara. they’re both just SUCH good characters and i love them so much and i feel like i always notice new things about them when i rewatch the series

hunter x hunter: killua is my son, i’ve adopted him, the end, 

sailor moon: usagi!! classic fellow cancer & gotta love her being a big hearted disaster bi 

magic knight rayearth: umi was so badass and will forever be badass 

revolutionary girl utena: anthy remains one of the most complex characters in anime she’s so goddamn good 

.hack//SIGN: tsukasa invented being a nb lesbian and thats why no other isekai protagonist can hold a candle to her 

cardcaptor sakura: i’ve loved tomoyo even despite her godawful valley girl english VA. loving fashion and being as gay as the day is long, v valid 

inuyasha: kikyo is basically the only reason i kept watching this show, she’s got the best backstory and shes hilarious and not even on purpose 

fushigi yugi: i used to be really into this anime in high school even though watase’s works always have some level of BAD in them, looking back on it, but i really liked yui. she’s just gay and trying to stop a bad ship from happening and for that i respect her 

michiko to hatchin: i can’t end this list without michiko. i goddamn. i love her. make no mistake i would take a bullet for you michiko 

[obsidianmichi]

Hello! I love how you write your Inquisitor and Evanuris and I was rereading The Lady in Blue and White and thought I would ask: how you came up with ‘Suledin’ and ‘Sulevin’ for Dirthamen and Falon’din? After Solas said “I was Solas first, Fen'Harel came later” I always headcanoned that all Evanuris had another name beside their ‘title’. What do you think? And what those names could be if you agree? Btw I would adore seeing more Eirwen/Falon’din and Solas’/Dirthamen’s thoughts about it.

Well, I came up with Dirthamen’s name because I decided that he was a desire demon and originally a corrupted spirit of Purpose. Sulevin in DA Elvish means “Purpose” and in elvish “din” is a negative, not-being, also death, hence Falon’din. So, because they’re “soul brothers” in lore, I came up with them being the fractured remnants of a single entity which made Falon’din the negative half hence Suledin. “Vin” would be life. “Din” would be death. They’re the positive and negative aspects of Purpose.

“Suledin” also means “Endure”, finding strength after suffering loss or pain. As Falon’din evolved as a character, Suledin naturally took on those aspects in his backstory. He was the part of the original Dirthamen/Falon’din that Mythal and Elgar’nan seriously damaged when they fractured him apart. He wasn’t completely purged of the being he’d been before, therefore he was both more powerful than Sulevin and also nursing a serious grudge against Elvhenan.

He’s something of a mix of Orpheus and Hades searching for a way to save his lost love through the realms of death, and, well, he’s also the Elvhenan God of War, Conqueror, Inquisitor, Enforcer of Elgar’nan’s will on top of being the Dalish God of Death. (Friend of the Dead was too good a title not to twist, then twist back because he’s not just Death, but the God of Resurrection for my Dalish. As Morrigan says, “They pray to him when going on journeys from which they expect no return.”)

His endearments for Eirwen have a serious meaning because I didn’t want to double up on “vhenan” for either him or Dirthamen. Dirthamen calls her “Renan” or “Voice” hence “my voice.” For Falon’din, “da’elgara” means litle sun or star, and “ma elgara” means sun or “my sun.”  My light, my life, my sun. (Which may be important, considering that he sees the sun as female where Elgar’nan, whom he hates, represents the sun in Dalish lore.) This probably makes Falon’din the most romantic out of the three of them, honestly.

Falon’din was my Not-Solas initially, but he never revealed his true name during “On The Wings of Ravens”. Dirthamen preferred to reveal his true name and Falon’din’s came after that, but Dirthamen still goes by Dirthamen for the most part while Falon’din prefers Suledin when among the Dalish and those who follow him.

I do think they all have names beyond their titles. I always thought of them a little like the Forsaken from The Wheel of Time. There’s the title and the person who came before. I don’t have names for them though. Suledin calls Andruil, Andruil because he uses that as a means of maintaining distance from her. Andruil calls him “Falon’din” because she probably doesn’t know his true name and because that’s who she sees him as. “Falon’din” to Andruil is her beloved older brother, the one who she’s starting to believe betrayed her because he escaped the Veil. The one she’s angry with because he never came to save her. Andruil as a character is always hungry for what she can’t have, for what she feels is out of reach. All the Evanuris are romantically entangled with each other, sometimes to an almost incestuous degree. So, yes, while Andruil is with Ghilan’an she’s also been entangled with Solas and Falon’din (but not Dirthamen. Dirthamen is very sure of that.)

You’re most likely to hear the Evanuris call each other by their true names (if they know them and the younger they are the more likely that is) when they’re digging at each other. They’re more likely to call each other by their titles (especially Solas) when they’re forcing the other’s role back onto them and reminding them of their past. (This is why they all call Solas Fen’Harel, though for varying reasons. Dirthamen calls Solas Fen’Harel because he knows he doesn’t like the name and wants to make him uncomfortable.)

“Shem’Harel” is obviously derisive, but, like all insults, it expresses what the elvhen value as a culture and describes where Solas himself comes up short. My elvhen value careful strategy, games of brinksmanship as an example of skill. They like decisive action, yes, but not hasty, impulsive, or reckless action which leads to mistakes.

Falon’din is probably a good example of what they value (and why Elgar’nan sought to preserve him), a thousand (if not tens of thousand) year long plan devoted to careful deliberate action in order to achieve a singular goal (the destruction of Elvhenan/the restoration of his lost love) which makes use of other’s complex plans and results in a Thirty Xanatos Pileup where you come out on top. (Falon’din achieving his goal, even if he didn’t really achieve his goal, where he was the Last Man Standing until Mythal came back. This bought him time to develop a means to bring back immortality and hone the cycle of reincarnation he began with Eirwen’s previous selves to slowly stitch her scattered pieces back together.)

I haven’t had enough time with the others to figure out what they’re names are though. I have a better idea about their relationships.

Andruil and Sylaise are Mythal’s true daughters. Dirthamen and Falon’din are more like adopted children. Falon’din is Elgar’nan’s favorite. Harel and Harel are the inverse of the spirit breaking process Elgar’nan and Mythal performed on Dirthamen and Falon’din. June likes to sit in his corner and make things (he might be the Sotha Sil.)  Sylaise is married to June but obsessed with Dirthamen. Andruil likes breaking everyone’s toys when they don’t want to play with her anymore. Falon’din knows who he previously was, but Dirthamen does not. Dirthamen hates Falon’din beyond reason but, regardless of what he says, will work with him because he’s pragmatic to a fault. Eirwen/Dirthamen/Falon’din isn’t really a love triangle, but Solas definitely is in a quadrangle. Dirthamen, Andruil, and Sylaise are all bi. Falon’din has a single target sexuality, so while he has other lovers he doesn’t care about them. (Hence, Andruil’s problem with him.)

I know that doesn’t really answer the question, but will hopefully give you some more insight into these characters that I really do love.

-Michi

[ruffboijuliaburnsides]

im gonna ask you a question. so, right now i identify as female (cis). and i'm not sure about it. how did you realize you were nonbinary? i tried out they/them pronouns once and i didn't like it. but like. sometimes i don't feel right with my name and my pronouns and my body. but that just might be depression or me zoning the heck out haha. i'm young, i have time. but i just want help? ? ? haha thank you and i really love your blog

Aw, no worries, nonny.  

So I’m going to preface this by saying that everyone’s experience is unique, I’m not a professional anything, take anything I say with a grain of salt and do your own research and come to your own decisions.  I will also mention that I have Borderline Personality Disorder, and one of the major symptoms of BPD is a lack of identity, sort of the… throwing yourself into things and other people and other people’s styles and making that who you are over and over and never quite feeling like you have an identity that means “you”.  I mention this because that’s one of the things that currently has the biggest impact on me of all my BPD issues, and that has colored my entire gender journey, which in turn colors my advice and thoughts about it.

So as far as me realizing I was NB, it was a looooong process.  I felt kind of dysphoric and maybe not-female for literal years, then I came out as trans because I figured “this probably means I’m a trans guy” and it felt MUCH better but still not quite right.  After a couple years I went “yeah, not quite a guy either. …I guess that means I’m neither?” and that’s pretty much how that happened.

All that said, I’ll mention the following things: 

1) the more I recognized and processed the internalized misogyny I have, the less dysphoric being read as female has become.  It’s kind of plateaued and I think I’ve mostly just hit “i’m nb but more comfortable on the feminine side of things than I used to be” but hey, who knows, right?  I mention this one first both to get it out of the way and because of stuff you mentioned in your ask.  It’s not unheard of at ALL for cis women to feel very dysphoric about their bodies and uncomfortable with their womanhood.  It’s not universal, though, it’s just a possible option.  Our society hates women and teaches women to hate themselves, but whether you’re just a woman dealing with the fallout of living in a deeply misogynistic society or a trans person is something only you can decide.

2) I have known more than one cis female lesbians who identified as nb and don’t anymore, or identified as a trans guy and now identify as nb or cis.  There is a lot of bullshit that most of us are trained into unknowingly about hating women and hating ourselves, and when we find ourselves loving women, it just compounds like… EVERYTHING.  So if you’re a lesbian or bi, this could be something to keep in mind.

3) my most dysphoric moments were also tied to what I would consider my most disassociated moments.  When i’m struggling so hard to even feel a connection to my body, things that make me actively NOT identify with my own body are like that much worse.  It could also be the other way around, but either way, they can feed into each other.  Mental illness can be a huge influence on your identity.  That doesn’t mean your identity is wrong just because you’re mentally ill - i firmly believe that part of the reason I identify with nonbinary so hard is because it’s sort of an “in-between, unspecific, not really anything” sort of identity to me, and that’s how I feel about my identity at large most of the time.  That said, identifying as NB has been a source of relief and joy, so even if it IS stemming from my BPD I don’t give a shit because it makes my life better.

4) It’s okay to change.  If you’re cis now, and you identify as NB or a trans guy later, that’s okay.  If even later, your identity shifts again, that’s ok too.  Some people find who they are young and never really stop feeling that.  Some people are really fluid and have a complex and ever-evolving relationship with their identity.  Neither one is wrong. Your labels are for YOU.  To make YOU feel like you have a handle on yourself.  As your understanding of yourself changes, your labels might change too.  That’s ok.  Anyone who tells you it’s not is not worth your time.

5) You are valid.  I know that’s basically a meme at this point and it’s a funny one, but the thing is that you are.  You are you.  You’re allowed to be you, and feel your feelings.  The important part of any of that is how you REACT and ACT ON those things. 

6) You’re allowed to tell people no when they ask questions.  You’re allowed to say “that’s personal” or “I don’t feel comfortable answering that” or “sorry, you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock that part of my backstory” or whatever.  You do not have to feel obligated to explain yourself and your identity and how you came to that identity and how it affects your sexuality etc etc ad nauseum to everyone who asks. It’s okay not to answer questions about things that people technically have no right to.  It’s also ok to answer them if you’re down for it, but you’re not being rude by saying “no, that’s too personal, I’m not comfortable with that”.  If they push it, THEY’RE the ones being rude.

7) The last and possibly most divergent from the original topic thing I’m going to say is possibly the most controversial?  And it’s more about attraction than gender, but in my experience, dealing with one inevitibly means dealing with the other at the very least inasmuch as where they intersect, but that experience is why I’m including this. Unless nothing else has worked for you, I would stay away, at least initially, from the split attraction model.  That’s the x-sexual/x-romantic split, and identifying them separately.  I am not saying they’re bad or that they can’t be useful or helpful, but the thing is that they are mostly of use to the ace community, and only to a limited extent.  Diving into them when you don’t need to can just over-complicate things; as much as labels are for YOU, it also doesn’t help to be overly specific.  If you can be sexually attracted to both guys and girls but you’re only interested in being in relationships with girls?  Sure, you could say you’re bisexual homoromantic (as a girl that is) but unless that is something that is NECESSARY FOR YOU, you could also just say you’re bi with a preference, or say you’re a lesbian because yes i think bi women who are still attracted to guys physically but have no intention of or desire to be with men can call themselves lesbians if that’s more comfortable for them.  I say this mostly because I and more than a few people I know have done the split attraction model because it’s what is being done or w/e and it messed with them being able to actually deal with issues they were having and correctly identifying their sexualities and etc etc etc.  It’s not intrinsically bad or harmful or wrong, but it’s also not intrinsically good, and it’s not useful for anyone.  Unless you think it’s absolutely the only way to find your identity, I would largely steer clear of it for yourself.  I put this last because it’s the least related to your actual question.

…I can’t think of anything else rn.  Use the identifiers and terms that you’re comfortable with but don’t feel bad or ashamed of changing them if you realize they don’t apply anymore.  Don’t feel like you have to identify things super-specifically just because it’s common practice.  Uh…. idk, i’m a wee bit tipsy but hopefully some of this was even a little bit helpful?  GOOD LUCK MY SMOL ONE, EVEN IF I CAN’T HELP I’M HERE TO LISTEN IF YOU NEED AN EAR OR A SHOULDER!

[logh-icebergs]

Episode 10: Jessica’s Battle

Summer 796/487. Yang and Julian travel to Thernusen, where Yang has been ordered to attend a ceremony at the military academy. Upon arrival Yang is unwittingly sucked into a political battle between pro-war and anti-war factions, and we learn that politics have gotten no more civil in the next 1600 years: Yang is attacked by peace party goons; peace party goons are attacked by the PKC; and finally Yang is saved from Jessica’s rather aggressive advances when the headquarters of the peace party is bombed, killing their candidate. This strategy backfires badly, as Jessica runs in his place and receives 80% (!!) of the vote. Meanwhile, Julian is repeatedly denied the chance to have any fun.

Yang, Asexuality, and Representation

One frankly astonishing thing about Legend of Galactic Heroes is the breadth and variety of queer characters, each with their own personal relationship to issues of love and sex and romance, each with their own personal struggles against societies that want to cram everyone into neat normative boxes, each with their own methods of navigating those expectations. Hell, it’s only episode 10, and already we’ve gotten to know one gay couple well and seen another gay couple in the background; we’ve gotten glimpses of Magdalena and Hilda, whose respective ways of navigating imperial society as queer women we’ll discuss at length as we see more of them; we’ve met Dusty, who flies slightly under the radar by embracing a “confirmed bachelor” identity; and pretty soon we’ll meet a gay character who attempts to pass by loudly proclaiming his (dubious) heterosexual conquests at every opportunity. In the future we’ll get to know a handful of bi characters, some quite promiscuous, others very shy about sex and romance. We’ll see multiple different characters grapple with their parents’ reactions to their queer identities. This is not representation as in box-checking and calling it a day. This is representation as in an actual reflection of the myriad ways that real people relate to these issues individually.

And there’s Yang, who is asexual. I’ve been dancing around this for several episodes, ever since one of the first details the show chose to tell us about him in “My Conquest” was his apathy toward the piles of love letters he receives:

Hints of this have been there all along (remember his overly flustered reaction to feeling like Cazellnu was attempting to matchmake for him?), but finally in this episode, through his interactions with Jessica and backstory about his time at the academy, we get enough detail and body language to start to put the puzzle together. Alliance culture of the late 700’s being remarkably similar to much of Earth culture of the late 1900’s, Yang lacks a good framework for understanding this aspect of himself, and throughout the show we’ll see him struggle with an inability to explain the anxiety he clearly feels when confronted with romantic situations. Although he’s not aromantic, the potential sexual expectations that go along with romance lead him to shy away from it, as he did with Jessica, and is already starting to do with Frederica.

What Yang says here is "tondemonai," which I'd translate as something like "not at all!"

Wading through online lists of supposedly ace characters in media, one finds a pretty frustrating mix of characters who are either actually gay (with asexuality used as a cloak by the creators and/or audience to sweep that gayness under the rug), or rendered “asexual” through some accident or medical condition, or are some kind of biologically asexual being, with just a handful of actual examples scattered throughout. But Yang is not a robot or a legendary Pokémon, or a background character who just never gets paired off romantically. He’s a protagonist, a warm and empathetic and brilliant person with many complicated relationships in his life spanning friendship and romance. The nuance and realism with which his love life is depicted throughout the show is both impressive and Really Fucking Important.

Aww Yang.

Yang and Jessica

I love the motif of reflections in this show. This shot captures the distance between them in a way no words I could type here can.

There are so many facets to the sadness and tension that pervade every scene between Yang and Jessica: their different approaches to working to end the war; the pain of Lapp’s recent death and Yang’s guilt surrounding it; and, as we learn in this episode, lingering regret on Jessica’s part that Yang never pursued a romantic relationship with her. Because of the complexity of their dynamic and the fact that Yang himself is confused about how to act around her, untangling their interactions is a difficult task. There’s a lot that’s deliberately left ambiguous; and while I love that LoGH doesn’t feel the need to make relationships simpler than they are in real life, it doesn’t exactly make our job as viewers easy.

What was Yang about to say? An explanation of why he feels it’s best for him to play nice with his superiors even though they’re using him for propaganda? An invitation to socialize that he decides could be taken the wrong way, or would be turned down because of the political gulf between them? Just tell us dammit, to hell with realistic storytelling!

Our goal, then, like that parable about the blind men and the elephant, is to find the reality that best explains the sum total of the details that we see, even when each detail on its own may feel ambiguous. And the main thread that runs through all of Yang’s behavior, both in the flashback to his first year at the academy and in the present, is his complete lack of initiative when it comes to anything romantic.  

Case in point number one: Although we’re told twice—through Julian, importantly—that part of Yang’s agenda in going to Thernusen is to see Jessica, he never once actually makes an active effort to do so, instead filling his free time by flopping on the hotel bed griping about politics and taking Julian out to fancy restaurants.

Is Julian a reliable narrator here? Unclear—if you’ve ever had the sort of hero-worship proto-crush that Julian has at this point, you might recognize an over-eager interest in that person’s love life as one of the symptoms. Yang’s “oy mind your own business” reactions tell us that the situation is complicated, but not much more than that.

When we last saw Yang and Jessica together, they were saying an extremely awkward and fraught goodbye at the airport; in particular, Jessica seemed to be waiting for Yang to say something further, before finally giving up and walking away. At the time I suggested that Yang’s sadness in that scene could stem partly from not feeling comfortable fulfilling the role that her wistful gazes seem to ask of him, and his reluctance to reach out to her while he’s in Thernusen fits with that. Julian, being astute and keenly interested in the subject, has also picked up on vibes beyond “old college friend” between Yang and Jessica, and his natural assumption is that this ought to mean Yang will seek her out. But on the contrary, Yang’s reaction is to withdraw.

Turns out he didn’t need to seek her out: Like it or not they’re thrown together twice by the political melodrama that’s going down in this city. After the second incident, in which Yang rescues one of Jessica’s friends from PKC thugs, he finds himself walking with her past the military academy campus, and at her suggestion they sneak in.

Pictured: Yang Wenli in his natural habitat, on a romantic walk at night alone with a girl.

This incredibly closed off body language contrasts not only with how Yang acts in situations where he feels comfortable, but also notably with the body language between Reinhard and Kircheis in...well okay in every scene that includes both of them, but I’m thinking specifically of the episode 8 flashback, which also takes place in the romantic setting of sitting together on the grass at night.

Being at the academy leads to a nostalgic mood, which brings us to case in point number two of Yang’s passivity. Through an extended flashback we learn that he first saw Jessica when his friend Lapp literally dragged him away from scrolling through Instagr— I mean studying history, in order to ogle a hot girl he found through a window.

Quick aside on Lapp and how much he sucks: ...a lot. This is fucked up. If Lapp likes her, why drag Yang into it? In his mind he’s probably being generous, but it reeks of positioning Jessica as an object that must be competed for and won in order to have real value. Wtf Lapp. I talked above about the beauty of how this show captures the true panoply of human experience, but did straight white douchebag guys really need the extra representation??

Lapp procured two tickets to a party that Jessica will be at, and when he asks Yang if he wants one Yang responds with an almost offended “of course”—why wouldn’t he? At the party Lapp and Yang are both standing around being wallflowers until Lapp decides it’s time for one of them to make a move on their target, and flips a coin for the privilege. Yang wins the flip, and so finds himself asking Jessica to dance, swept along into that position entirely by Lapp’s own interest in her.

I’m emphasizing Yang’s lack of initiative here because it’s important to the overall picture; I’m not suggesting that 18-year-old Yang isn’t sincerely hoping that things go well with Jessica. My read on college!Yang is that if left to his own devices he would sit around studying history all day, but if anything he’s grateful to have a friend who’s better at this girl stuff than he is who can push him a bit.

When they start dancing, however, it’s immediately clear that Yang is way, way out of his comfort zone.

Yes, Yang “never learning to dance” can be taken as a metaphor for his asexuality. This symbolism is yet another "iceberg": the part above the surface is the actual events of the story, while the hidden depths are the metaphorical connections that we can draw from what's depicted to help us understand things the show can’t talk about more directly.

He’s failing so badly to perform the proper role of smoothly sweeping the girl off her feet that Lapp decides it’s necessary to save Yang from further embarrassment by cutting in for him; Yang seems (rightly!) a bit miffed at this, but quickly resigns himself to being a wallflower again. 

Lapp: Did I mention he sucks? This is another asshole move cloaked in ostensibly good intentions. Lapp would have ceded this “prize” to his friend if he won her fair and square, but as soon as he sees Yang deviate from the proper protocols of seduction, he decides Yang is no longer worthy and claims her for himself.

Jessica seems susceptible to Lapp’s charms, and some undetermined time later Yang spots them giggling together under a tree and realizes, a bit wistfully, that things between them seem to be clicking. 

As always there could be a lot behind this wistfulness: wondering what might have been with Jessica if he’d had more of a chance; or more general envy that Lapp knows how to do this stuff and he doesn’t.

Which brings us back to the present, and Yang again finding himself swept along into a situation out of his comfort zone, sitting under a tree with a rather emotional Jessica. When Jessica confesses that she had been hoping Yang would ask her to dance again, Yang evasively cites Lapp’s infatuation with her, an excuse she doesn’t seem to totally accept. 

What Jessica actually says here is “otoko-doushi no yuujou tte wake?” which I’d translate as “sooo it was a bro code kinda thing?” Good to know that fantastic concept survives for another 1600 years...

And when, overcome with various emotions, Jessica finally breaks through the closed-off body language and throws herself at Yang, we come to case in point number three of Yang failing to assert himself. Although he’s done all he can to passively signal that he’s uncomfortable with the hints of romance between them, he can’t seem to bring himself to actively reject her—maybe just because he hates the thought of hurting her, maybe because part of him wishes he were more interested and feels conflicted, maybe because part of him is interested but doesn’t feel comfortable pursuing it. Whatever the case, as soon as the more passive thing to do is to reciprocate her advances, he goes along with it.

Fortunately for Yang, this incipient tryst is interrupted by the PKC bombing the headquarters of Jessica’s political party, killing their candidate. Despite their last real interaction being an aborted kiss, Yang slips immediately back into passive avoidance mode, making no further attempts to follow up with her before heading back to Heinessenpolis the next day. Jessica is caught up even further in politics, as she runs in place of the murdered candidate and wins; and Yang returns to his military life, glancing at her on the television as he heads off to a meeting with Frederica and wishing her luck. Despite Jessica’s lingering feelings and Yang’s wistfulness, the gulf between them has very clearly widened.

Julian

In the background of all of the drama of this episode we find Julian, teasing Yang about Jessica, listening to Yang’s rants about feeling used by the politicians, lying through his teeth to hotel security, and just generally being a completely adorable shadow-slash-caretaker to Yang. 

Here Julian takes on the role of managing Yang’s emotional state: turning off the TV when thinking about politics is making Yang cranky, then visibly collecting his own emotions enough to smile and offer tea.

In possibly my favorite moment of the episode, Julian is one second away from getting to be the hero who saves Yang from the peace party thugs who are attacking him...only to have his thunder stolen by Jessica. Poor kid.

Yang...Yang...literally thirty seconds ago this abandoned street was full of violent PKC goons who bear a grudge against you and people you care about, and you just… Listen who the fuck put Yang in charge of another human being?

If you pay attention throughout the episode you’ll notice a dozen or so shots where Julian is perfectly mimicking Yang’s body language and expression. (I’ll restrain myself and only include four here.) 

So much is conveyed by all of these tiny moments and details, without Julian ever being the actual focus of the episode. It’s beautiful storytelling. 

Aww Julian.

Stray Tidbits

Worldbuilding alert! We get a bit more detail about how these awesome self-driving zipcars work when Yang hails one. I love how real this feels; how many years away are we from actually having these?

One thing that I find really interesting about the politics in LoGH is that we see characters disagreeing not just about the ultimate goals, but also about questions of the right methods to achieve them. Yang and Jessica both hate the war and feel an imperative to do what they can to minimize the damage done by it; the political tension between them comes from different philosophies about pursuing that end. The questions raised here are difficult and I like that the show never really tries to settle them.

Like episode 9, much of the plot of this episode is anime-only; in the novels Jessica’s victory in this election is mentioned only in passing.

Visibly Angry Yang is a rare specimen and I love him.

Clearly no one was ever supposed to have the technology to pause and move frame-by-frame through the sequence of Yang bouncing up into a sitting position on the hotel bed...this is probably the single most horrible LoGH screenshot I’ve ever taken.