#they’d be besties tho

[blackseafoam]

✨Wrecker appreciation✨

Kind of parallel to this painting I did a lil bit ago.

[wrathofrats]

Pebble and alpha often being mean to each other and bullying and yelling at each other but also alpha is the one pebble goes to immediately when he needs support, knows he won’t question him, won’t even ask him what’s wrong until he’s ready. Simply sitting with him in silence and understanding, a caring touch he can’t get anywhere else.

Alpha would never judge him. As much as he makes fun of him, I think he sees a lot of himself in pebble, and gives him the understanding he never got when he was younger

[bbyboybucket]

I love grumpy, 100 some year old men that have metal body parts, are veterans, and are named james but go by something else

[theatre-artmuppet]

if i had a nickel for every time my favorite character from a piece of media i love was a chaotic good, kind of crazy, italian, herpetologist— i’d have two nickels which isn’t a lot but it’s weird it happened twice

[simpfornegan]

modern cegan au where they meet in a COD lobby while gaming and at first they talk the absolute most shit on their mics about each other while actively trying to kill the other. though eventually they end up forming an unlikely alliance when they’re forced to play on the same team for a few rounds and then suddenly they’re all buddy buddy— talking about how shit everyone else is together while demolishing other players in the lobby, together.

[michi-chelle-draws]

there, fixed the ending cg

[shortscircuits]

that last gifset i just reblogged reminded me of another reason cheryl and veronica get along so well: they both have categorically evil dads who they have to constantly outsmart

[apenapaperandadoofus]

Unit Victor just like me and my friends fr 😭🫣

[bluestrawberrybunny]

I absolutely love every possible dynamic between these two. You’ve got partners in crime, Jessie and James/Team Rocket, and then you have this. I love them. Puzzle3/Puzzl3 is an absolutely amazing ship and I love their possible dynamics. Both platonic and romantic.

They should so be besties tho let’s be honest.

However, we can all agree on one thing: these two should never team up in canon because if they did they’d be unstoppable.

[fryingpan1234567]

listen I knowwww Roach should be British. he was on a British task force. he’s got the flag on his uniforms. but when @fixfoxnox said southerner Roach I just couldn’t not love him okay leave me alone

anyways. southerner Roach shenanigans

(I guess you could call this a Something in the Orange fanfic since he’s besties with Jackson in this scenario as well as dating Ghost and Soap……… but it’s general enough it’s probably fine ANYWAYS)

Roach’s accent, while it normally only lightly flavors a few of his words, gets considerably thicker when he’s visiting home

I mean like he does the thing southerners do where they somehow mash entire sentences into one word and the others are just like “……….what” but Jackson is nodding like he understood

Like. They’re all at dinner together somewhere. Somebody brings up the rodeo at the state fair. The Europeans have no idea what they’re talking about. Roach just goes “y’ain’tneverheardadat??” and Soap nearly has a stroke trying to figure out what he meant but Jackson continues to eat soundly like he didn’t hear anything wrong

COWBOY👏 HAT👏 RULE👏

HELP

No no no they go to some random dive bar for one of their birthdays. It doesn’t matter whose. Jackson and Roach both have cowboy hats because OBVIOUSLY and like. They exchange this look that the others can’t figure out whenever one of their boyfriends steals their hat via flirting

(They tell them later and then can’t stop laughing while Soap and Ghost and Gaz are just sitting there like uh oh)

After that the hat stealing is very much purposeful

Square dancing to fucking Timber by Kesha and Pitbull in said dive bar because that’s just required idk what to tell you

Soap and Ghost seeing Roach ride a horse for the first time and visibly bluescreen

Roach recognizing people from high school in his hometown even tho he hasn’t seen them in like 20 years

He likes Taylor Swift but only her old country-adjacent stuff

Ghost and Soap couldn’t figure out his aversion to any kind of substitute milk until he took them home and they found out it’s because he grew up drinking milk that literally came from the cows he has in his backyard. They own two cows. And a few chickens. Very resourceful

Jackson and Roach dragging the 141 to Roach’s family’s Super Bowl party one year because in the southern states it’s a huge fucking deal

The Europeans being like “………this is quite possibly one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen in my life” but their boys are having fun so it’s okay

God help the rest of them. Jackson and Roach are rooting for opposite teams.

There’s screaming, there’s wrestling on the living room floor, there’s spilling food and beer everywhere. The amount of rubbing it in after a touchdown lands is fucking crazy, and they’ve shouted about stabbing each other every single time

Eventually, maybe with a bit of googling, the others get into it. Soap hasn’t stopped shoving Mrs. Roach’s buffalo chicken dip in his face since he’d discovered it when they’d arrived, and Ghost was letting the kids use his tattoo like a coloring page while he chatted with Roach’s dad and brothers. Gaz kept getting elbowed in the ribs whenever Roach and Jackson tousled on the couch, and a couple times he was asked to hold Jackson’s beer so “I can kick some sense into this dipshit,” usually followed by Roach’s maniacal cackling. Price was banging around in the kitchen with Mrs. Roach. Nobody knew how he’d gotten dragged into that, but he seemed to be enjoying himself

On the topic of bringing the boys home to the fam oh my GODS thanksgiving

Ghost is not a dessert person. He’s never been a dessert person. But he had four slices of Mr. Roach’s apple pie, so,,,,,,,,, apparently he is actually a dessert person

Obvi Roach is good with all guns, but he was hunting with his dad and brothers by the time he was like six. He knows how to work a shotgun like he breathes

(Ahem being southern is why he’s so fucking stubborn btw if anyone was wondering)

Roach and Jackson both are religious Dolly Parton listeners

“DID U GUYS KNOW SHE WROTE JOLENE AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU ON THE SAME DAY—“

Ghost and Soap wake up one night because there’s a weird noise outside. They poke Roach awake like “???? what was that??” and he was just like “oh yeah the woods make noises sometimes. don’t worry about it. if something actually wanted to kill you, you wouldn’t hear it coming” and promptly passed back out

“Yea I’ve seen a skinwalker before” “FYM YOU’VE S E E N O N E ? “ “It was in my backyard?? Relax it just wanted the coyote that always tries to kill our chickens. I didn’t really mind”

Gaz suggests investigating a weird figure he saw in the woods. Roach laughs out loud and Jackson smacks him in the back of the head like “that’s how you fucking die you idiot”

“Y’all’re lucky we’re here to stop you from doing somethin’ stupid. Fuckin’ city slickers” “What did you just call me”

The deafening sounds of crickets and locusts puts Roach to sleep almost instantly every night. Ghost barely sleeps every time they visit.

”IT IS SO FUCKING LOUD IF ONE MORE BLOODY CRICKET—“ “Simon not everyone needs literal dead silence to sleep—“

No matter how many pillows he stacks on top of his head he can’t escape it

Oh. Oh. The Europeans CANNOT do southern heat. They’re passed out on the porch while Jackson and Roach and Roach’s brothers play football in the front yard

Roach makes killer lemonade and iced tea nobody talk to me

He has a rusty blue ancient pickup that he says is his baby. One of the wheels is misshapen and the bed squeaks dangerously every time they hit a pothole, but he won’t get rid of it EVER

Roach introduces Soap and Ghost to catching fireflies in jars with his nieces and nephews. They are. So in love with the concept.

It gets turned into a competition, because of course it does, and it looked like Ghost was going to win— but then the youngest of the participating children silently held up a jar that was too bright to look at and audibly buzzing from the amount of bugs inside of it. They cut their losses and embrace the fact that they’ll never be That Good

Southern👏 sunsets👏 there ain’t nothing like it

Soap has a sketchbook dedicated entirely to doodling Roach doing farm things

Roach had a horse he took care of in high school. Her name was Peaches and he literally cried when he found pictures of her in his room

Ghost LOVES the sweet old border collie Roach’s parents have. That dog has seen many a stampede, and he’s herded just as many. What a man. Ghost does not leave him alone Ever

gods fuck me bro I could literally talk about southern Roach F O R E V E R (idk if you can tell from the long ass post Jesus Christ)

good morning/ night/ 4am lmk if you want more of this

[googleitlol]

Out of curiosity, how would Monkey King: Reborn go if Dove was there? Cause I’m loving Wukong’s character in that movie and I’m curious about how he would be to Dove!

Being 100% honest, I may have… not seen the movie yet 😅

But I have seen a few clips of Wukong in that movie! From what I’ve seen, I have a few ideas of how their relationship would be similar or different from PoM.

First off, I think MKR Wukong would be intrigued by Dove for different reasons than PoM Wukong. Mostly, he’s put off by her lack of fear of demons. She doesn’t seem to fear him at all— hell, half their talks end with her challenging him in some way. Humans don’t have the backbone for that sort of thing. It’s not like she doesn’t understand why she should fear them either, one of the things they both seem to agree on are that demons are evil beings, and that’s all they could ever be.

I feel like their fighting would be less teasing and more blunt arguments. I just know Dove would be chewing him out for that scene with the tree in the beginning. When they get past their reasons for hating one another tho, I can see things playing out differently than they do in PoM.

MKR Wukong is still the one who catches feelings first, but he’s more in denial over it. Maybe he catches a glimpse of Dove being cute with the baby spirit from the movie (side note, Dove would LOVE that little guy, they’d be besties/mother and child), and all he does is scoff and turn away in irritation because his heart is going faster now and he doesn’t understand why. He’d also probably start doing subtle things like getting her favourite fruit from the market if it’s there, just because he thinks she’d like it. Maybe in crowded areas, he’d keep his tail around her wrist or pull her close if she goes off too far. I think he’d also secretly enjoy if Dove joined the spirit in putting all those flowers in his tail 🤭

In Monkey King Reborn, I think Wukong would be so oblivious to his feelings and all the subtle shit he’s doing to show them that Dove would actually pick up on it first and be the one to ask him about his feelings (and she’s MEGA oblivious, so you know it’s bad). Blud would deny it in the moment, because that kind of talk is crazy. Who does she think he is, Bajie?! Why would he ever like a human, much less her, in that way?

That talk doesn’t go over the best, if you can imagine. But it does make him realize that… yeah, he does like her. Shit, he really does like her.

Their next talk would be him doing his best to back peddle any of the accidentally-offensive stuff he said before. Even if she does forgive him, that whole “We’re monks we can’t like each other” melodrama would still play out. MKR Wukong would probably show more of his annoyance about the situation than PoM Wukong, he’d probably go on some, “This woman is driving me crazy” rants every now and then. But then there’d be a moment where he sees her, maybe on the battlefield, or even just watching her in conversation with the other pilgrims, and he’d be content with how their relationship is in that moment, because whether she accepts his feelings or not… she makes him feel like he’s more than just some evil demon. And he loves that she makes him feel that way.

[sixxrock666]

Lovie, that platonic Mötley Crüe was absolutely amazing, thank you for taking the time to do it. <33. I’m definitely going to have to ask for more though. I also feel like if one of them were being chased by mick, they would sacrifice reader by holding them up like the scene from the lion king, y’know? Like this. Thank you, love <33

stop you’re so sweet ;)) the lion king reference😭 literally they would sacrifice the reader to save their asses

hope you’ll like it hun tried my best<333

Part 3

• they would definitely sacrifice you when Mick would get pissed because they knew he’d go soft on you…when you all do piss him off it turns into a hell house, like just straight up screaming and throwing stuff and running around

• for your birthday they’d for sure throw a big party, and you’d get such random gifts like Tommy would get you a random pair of boxers with cats on it and Nikki a spatula or some shit (╥_╥)… i think Vince and Mick might actually put some thought into it

•…teaching the boys to make brownies at one am because Vince was craving them. Of course you all ended up making weed brownies (￣^￣)ゞ

• if you’d get caught with another man and the photos would made it to some kind of magazine i feel like the boys would juts sit you down in front of them and would be like “what’s this young lady?” Not them playing the role of good protective mothers (¬_¬)

…would probably tease you about it later tho

• they would steal your clothes let’s be real

“Vince are those my fucking leather pants”

“They make my ass look better sweets”

•nicknames for u>>

★ Tommy would be cheesy of course, calling you bestie or some long lasting friendship bullshit

★ Vince would call you sweets

★ Mick would call you a little devil or something

“speak of the devil”

especially when you’d be hanging around Tommy and Nikki…it was never a good combination the three of you since shit always went down

★Nikki would call you whatever he felt like it on a particular day, sometimes just your name or maybe rockstar, kitty? etc.

• Nikki would ask you to do his makeup

• if you’d get nervous before the concert they would try to take your mind off by cracking jokes…they were never funny but that was the charming part honestly

• you and Mick would usually stay a little longer in the studio making up some guitar riffs, laughing all the time and sharing a joint

• you’d buy them deodorant for Christmas at some point…

• when Nikki would feel like he could trust you enough he’d share about his childhood, not intentionally only if you’d ask, and you’d rub his back through it

• Mick would definitely confide in you about his back pain sometimes :( you’d then baby him and take care of him…he wasn’t the biggest fan of it but he let you…he knew you cared about him and only wanted what’s best for him

• regular trips to the record store with the boys, just listening to music and picking out records to add to your collection

☆彡𐬿𐮚✧★𐬺

[nereidprinc3ss]

BESTIE. I was just casually thinking about your whole dybmn series and now I’m wondering, as both reader and Spencer become more confident with their spicy dynamics, what kind of lover would Spencer become with her? New k!nks, maybe?, I JUST genuinely think that Spencer is so whipped for her that he would definitely use toys and anything else, not only to experiment but to get to know and find out about all of her secret facets.

I believe she would be his “creation” like he would be so proud to see her development in her confidence in spicy times like smirking all over as she does anything to please him and he’d be like “yeah, I created that” because I’M BITING MY PILLOW RIGHT NOW and gonna dig up a hole after this to hide myself because my thoughts are so hideous. Girlie, what did you do to me? I wasn’t like this. 😩

oh let’s discuss

18+ long ass rambling and things i think about A Lot ……..

in my opinion (which is not the end all be all everyone can perceive them however they’d like) reader and spencer definitely bring out more sexually adventurous sides of each other like they just have a shit ton of chemistry and for a while ithink spencer would just be easing reader into sexuality so nothing that crazy would happen aside from the power dynamics we see pretty much from the start. i think those would definitely get stronger and occasionally more variable. im not usually into sub!spence but i think there would be times he would definitely allow reader to have more control (i don’t ever think he’d be like calling them mommy lmfao) but aside from that i could also see him veering VERY rarely in a slightly harder!dom direction. like he’ll never hurt or seriously degrade you but in p3 reader says something about liking it when he acts like they belong to him and he was really into that. as the relationship progresses i think he would almost start taking more ownership of r’s body in a way, like obviously nothing is ever nonconsensual but he just knows you so well that it’s like… well he knows you better than you know yourself sooo you let him call the shots, but at his core i think spencer is forever oriented to please. he just wants to make you feel good, that’s always gonna be his goal, so he’s always going to listen and even if the power dynamic is weighed in his favor you are actually always the one in control bc he’d do anything for u lol

in terms of kinks…. idk, i never really see spencer as a super kinky guy? like he just knows too much about paraphilia and obviously sexual violence ties into a lot of his job so i sincerely doubt he’d find giving or receiving pain arousing beyond like slapping your ass or you scratching his back or whatever. love is always at the heart of sex for him and that’s going to be the most important part, he’ll never be able to see you just as a body. he’ll always see you as the person he’s in love with and there are things he’s simply not willing to do to the person he loves.

because of his trauma he’s super duper hesitant about bondage BUT i think he wouldn’t be completely opposed to very light restraints on you or him, he’d just have to be in a specific mood. i also never see him as being someone who’s super into toys because he’s such a luddite, he can barely stand having an email i doubt he’s going to have an extensive collection of sex toys. but he would so use your vibrator on you or make you use it on yourself in front of him again if he’s in a very specific mood

oh but YES he DELIGHTS in having defiled and corrupted you. idc idc im not accepting criticism on this. like he spoils you so much that you’re used to getting him whenever you want and so you’re not very subtle about it. if you get all needy in public and start draping yourself all over him and giving him looks and pulling on his sleeve because you want to go home he’ll fuck you in rossi’s bathroom because he wants to encourage your lewd behavior.

obviously he has boundaries tho and he has respect for you and the people around him like he won’t do anything that draws attention and he’ll only ever do things he knows he can get away with without anyone else noticing

later seasons spence also LOVES when you leave marks on him he thinks it’s cute how you mark your territory and he’s not at all embarrassed if there is a hickey above his collar at work. in his mind it’s like. why would he care about other peoples opinions on his sex life when they have nothing to do with it god i think about this all the time

anyway im sorry if this was disappointing😭 idkidk, thank you for asking about my thoughts tho bc i am always down for headcanons

[7ndipity]

Hey, bestie :3

How was your day?:3

Can I request à headcanon for the seven of them with a girlfriend with an explosive temper? I'm really patient whatever I do (I'm actually studying law and it's really hard) but sometimes, I just run out of patience and boum! I explode like a volcano🤣 Saying a lot of bad words (not to people but to my belongings like my notebooks. Poor them.) while I'm usually really polite (people say that I speak like a book, some friends call me "Walking Encyclopaedia" so they are kinda surprise when I say some profanities). Sometimes, I just cry out of frustration. But many times, I just blame myself for being stupid.

How would they react?

Thank you and remember: YOU ARE THE BEST!

Their S/o Has an Explosive Temper

Ot7 x Reader

Warnings: none

A/N: Thanks for this request! Honestly, I think they’d all have fairly similar reactions, but I tried to make these all a lil different.

Masterlist

Requests are open

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Jin: He kinda does this too sometimes, so he gets it, but he really doesn’t like seeing you upset, so he tends to go into ‘Y/n Defense Mode’, wanting to know who/what irritated you and how he can fix it as soon as possible. “Yah, what’d they do? Give me names!”

Yoongi: Ngl, he’s gonna find it a lil hot sometimes jdgfjskfhdiu. But seriously, he gets that sometimes shit just gets to you and you gotta vent a little. If you start to get really worked up, he’ll try to calm you down, but otherwise he lets you work it out at your own pace

Hobi: He gets soo startled the first few times it happens, like ‘wtf happened to my sweet baby?! Since when do you use those words?!’ He might try to diffuse at least some of your anger if you’re really mad, but I think he mostly just tries to stay out of your way when you’re like this.

Namjoon: Tbh, he’s got a lil bit of a temper too, so he’s not that shocked, moreso just surprised to hear that kind of language from you. He mostly lets you be, trusting you to let him know if something’s really bothering you, and offering to talk if you need to.

Jimin: I think he’d be so genuinely startled at first, he thought he was the one with the temper in your relationship! He’s more concerned about why you're upset than anything else tho, wanting to try and find a solution or way to help out you if he can.

Taehyung: Similar to Jimin, I think he’d more worried than anything, wanting to know why you’re upset and if there’s any way he can help. He really hates seeing you upset, so he’d try to find a way to make you smile, whether that’s a simple kiss or surprising you with your fave food.

Jungkook: The first time he hears you get mad and curse, he’s like 👀, it’s just so different from your normal personality, he doesn’t quite know what to think. For the sake of your books and things, he might ask if you wanna try some boxing or smth with him to vent your frustrations.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

[miloformula123fan]

Could you do fic for James Vowles with wife reader? Tom Brady was at the Williams garage during the FP1. James wondered what took his wife's attention from him. There, Tom Brady and her chatting up and he feels jealous because she was not spending time with him. Maybe he did something to gain her attention. Just something fluff and PDA. Thanks!!! :))

i'm going to be honest, I finished this a while ago and then just never published it, partially because then James started doing questionable things - like Logan! wtf man! and I feel bad for Franco cause he's doing amazing, outqualifying his teammate and he doesn't have a seat for next year! and zak's run out of funding for f2, like bestie, you have a wholeass f1 team backing you? basically Williams is fucked, and maybe I'm going to become a full time ferrari fan

i suppose they both made q3 tho so??? i won't jinx them for tonight

Please keep requesting - y'all have awesome ideas we agree on a lot of stuff :) - my guidelines are here, and if you want some prompts, they are here.

also feel free to come in and start chatting to me in my asks, would love to get to know y'all better

and if you want to be added to my taglist lmk :)

james vowles x wife!reader

---

James cracked his neck as he stretched taking the headphones off. It hadn’t been the worst FP1 from the entire season and it being Logan’s home race it was important for them to try and get some points on the board for the team.

But for now he was not thinking about that. He was just planning on finding his wife, and maybe curling up on a beanbag with her. He just needed to find her first.

He started asking around the garage, asking if anyone had seen her. Not many had, but a few PR people mentioned that they’d seen her heading towards hospitality.

So James headed towards hospitality. He remembered the PR people mentioning some celebrities coming to the grand prix. But he didn’t really care about any of the so-called ‘celebrities’ that came to Miami and considering he always had the excuse of work to have to do, he barely had to tolerate them.

But all those thoughts exited his head as he entered hospitality and saw Tom Brady sitting at a table, eating lunch. He was attempting not to fanboy at the sight of one of his favourite football players. And it was very easy to stop fanboying when he saw who Tom was eating lunch with.

Y/N was sitting on the table opposite Tom, looking heavily interested in whatever he was saying and nodding along as she ate her lunch. Some of the shy smiles she was showing, James rarely saw, solely because he was unable to surprise his wife a lot. She was unsurprised now when he kissed her or told her how beautiful she was. She appreciated it, of course, but he hadn’t seen this smile since he surprised her with a birthday party.

And then there was Tom Brady, a famous football player, seemingly flirting with his wife.

James was not someone who was very into public displays of affection, or PDA, but he genuinely saw no other option as he watched Y/N laugh again as Tom Brady said something. 

He walked over to the table, throwing his arm behind Y/N’s chair as he leaned in and placed a kiss on her cheek.

“Hello Darling. Did you see the end of FP1?”

“Oh, hello James. Yeah we did, we watched the final few minutes here. Sorry I didn’t wait, but I wanted to beat the mechanic rush and I was a little bit hungry. Oh and by the way, this is Tom Brady, y’know, he won the superbowl a few times.”

He laughed and James had to clench his teeth to not spit at him “Only a few times, closer to 7. Sorry, I’m Tom, and you are?”

“James. I’m the team principal for Williams.”

“Oh, well lovely to meet you. Would you like to join us? I’m sure we could pull up another seat, and you could join us?”

“Yes, well I would love to join my wife for lunch, however I have a meeting. If you don’t mind darling, can I join you for afternoon tea?”

“Oh, of course.”

Y/N sat down in the booth waiting for her husband to slide in opposite her. She was not expecting her husband to lay another kiss on her cheek before sliding into the chair opposite, handing over the food.

“Are you okay James?”

“You mean other than whatever is going on with my team, yeah I am, why do you ask?”

“You seem a little tense.”

“I’m not tense darling.”

“Yes you are, now tell me why.”

“I’m not tense.”

“James, I married you 5 years ago. I know when you are tense.”

“Okay. Fine. I was jealous.”

“Jealous? When would you… oh. James,” she took his hands, leaning to try and look at him “James. Were you jealous of Tom Brady?”

“...no.”

“James, it’s okay if you are. But you have to know that I much prefer the sexy, nerdy British team principals than the hot American football players.”

“You… do.”

“Of course. That’s why I married one. I know I’m attractive James. And I know I could marry whoever I want. And I want to marry my sexy, nerdy British husband.”

“I love you too Darling.”

---

taglist: @leosxrealm, @tallrock35, @wolf-knights, @janeholt3, @pear-1206

[callmeoncette]

Do u take requests?

if u do can you make hobie brown x black reader where she beats the fuck out of this girl for flirting with her man. Like he clearly not interested, but she keeps insisting and then talks shit abt reader and reader goes ballistic on her ass.

thanks boo😘

Invited To The Cookout

Hobie x fem!black!reader

I remember someone mentioned they’d like to see him in a black southern cookout setting so I just mashed the two together if that’s okay with you!

Warnings: fighting, use of the n word, and a bit of suggestiveness at the end and I think that bout it

Hobie plucked away on his guitar, occasionally dodging a shirt or skirt, as he waited for you to get ready to go to one of your family’s many cookouts during the summer. He dressed casually. Black chucks, ripped up jeans with a few chains dangling, and a breezy band shirt because he learned very quickly that the southern heat in your dimension was nothing to mess with.

He smiled softly as he listened to you talk on FaceTime with your favorite cousin, who he mainly knew went by the nickname Bookie, trying to catch up on drama and coordinate your outfits. Your accent sounding thicker than normal as you two conversed.

“No cuz why my brother lie to that girl and tell her he was watching my baby? That negro ain’ watch shit but the back of his muthafuckin’ eyelids!” Your cousin said through the phone doing her hair

“He so weird for that like if you ain’ wanna go wit’ the girl just tell her…” you then smirked a bit and got closer to the camera, “I used to do that shit too tho’ I ain’t gonna’ lie.” You cackled like you’d list your mind. You then held up a large shirt and a pair of custom air force’s, “you think I should jus’ do these wit’ summ biker shorts? They go wit’ the colors Bee got on…” Bookie perked up, “oh my friend comin’?! HEY HOBIE!!” She yelled excited into the phone. He walked over to where you were and waved, the both of you laughing at her antics. She dropped her phone and the screen was black for a bit before she lifted it again to show her face along with a sweet baby girl’s, “Lala look! Its Hobie!” The baby babbling excitedly. You ‘awed’ softly at the sight before it was interrupted by your cousin pulling a confused face as she mumbled along reading something. Her face then fell as she groaned. Hobie quirked a brow while you asked her what was wrong, “Maggie bringin’ Tisha. You gon’ see yo bestie girl!” She laughed. Your face fell, “Stop playin’ wit’ me Bookie. You know I don’t like that girl.”

Hobie looked at your irritated face in confusion. You’d never mentioned the girl before but there’s clearly some history between the two of you. “Well alright…I’ll see you when you get at Granny’s girl. Khalil just got home from work so imma fix him a lil summ before we go.” Bookie said as her boyfriend walked behind her placing a kiss on the top of her head. You said your goodbye and hung up, laying your phone down a bit aggressively.

He stood behind you as silence took over. A pout on your face as you started doing your hair. His fingers drummed on his pants, “right, so who’s Tisha?” His voice is normally cool with a tinge of curiosity only you could pick up. You sighed a bit while rolling your eyes at the mention of her, “this bobble head bitch I can’t stand! Me and her been beefing since middle school.” you roughly brushed out your hair before he took the tool from your hands. He nodded, “the anarchist in me is screamin’ to tell you to fuck up the slag but I know you been wantin’ me to come to your ends and meet your fam’. ‘Ow bout we just avoid her and ‘ave a good time, yeah?” A soft kissed placed on your forehead, then your cheek, then your nose. You giggled lightly and pushed his face away, “okay! Okay fine! Now lemme hurry up an’ finish cuz we gotta pick up the drinks.” You say with a small smile.

———

You guys pulled up to your family home. The house wasn’t large and grand but the energy of it and the land made up for it. The yard and backyard was full of your relatives who waved and stared as you got out with Hobie. He looked around at everyone and let out a low whistle at the sight. He felt a familiar tingle and turn to see your cousin’s boyfriend holding their one year old, “it’s a lot right? I still be stuck everytime we come to one of these.” Khalil said with baby Jayla on his hip. Hobie hummed while he dapped the man up, “my guy!” He then squinted as he looked around, “she always said ‘er fam’ was bare big. Just didn’t think it was this big.” Khalil nodded, his locs swinging, “yeah they all hella cool tho’ ‘cept for like a few. [name] prolly explain that to you tho’ so…” the man shrugged lightly making his daughter laugh.

You walked up to the boys with Bookie laughing. She quickly held Khalil’s hand and turned to you, “c’mon girl. You know we gotta speak to Granny and Gran before anybody else.” She said to which you nodded knowing that in your family you spoke to the matriarchs first. It wasn’t really a rule, more so something you just did. You two led the way to the porch of the house where your great grandmother sat in a rocking chair with a thin blanket over her lap. She slowly turned to peer at your group and you spoke up first, “hey Gran.” She squinted with a frail smile, “hey, w-who you baby?” She asked, confused. “It’s [name], [mother’s name] daughter? I’m one of your great grandkids.” A bright smile come on her face as well as a look of realization. She nodded, “yes! I remember honey. How you been?” She asked but before you could answer her attention turned to Hobie who awkwardly stood beside you, “oh. He one my grands too?” You all laughed a bit. You shook you head and gently corrected her, “no Gran. He’s my boyfriend.” She nodded “I thought so. Too tall to be one of mine.” You giggled again and hugged her, “imma go see Granny now okay? It was good talkin’ to you.” You then led Hobie into the house while your cousin had her time with the woman.

“She’s a peach. ‘Ow old she anyways?” Hobie had thrown an arm over your shoulders and leaned down closer to you. You rolled your eyes, “you not supposed to ask a lady her age.” He pulled you closer, “yeah, but I didn’t ask the lady I asked someone else. Bit of a loophole, innit?” You sucked you teeth and pushed him with a laugh. “She’s 97.” He let out a low whistle, “97 years. That’s mad long!” He said in a bit of disbelief. You held the hand of the arm thrown over your shoulders and hummed in agreement walking to the kitchen where you knew your favorite woman was.

There she stood cutting up cheese for the macaroni while she hummed along with a song by Big Jay McNeely. Seeing her made you feel like a little girl again. How you always nagged her while she cooked and she’d answer your questions without missing a beat.

“Hey Granny.”

She looked up and broke out into a smile. She came over and hugged you tightly, “oh my sweet girl!” She pulled back and looked you up and down, “lemme get a good look atcha!” She hummed happily. Her eyes drifted to Hobie, “and who is this handsome young man?” A welcoming smile on her face. “This is Hobie Granny. My boyfriend.” He stuck out his hand, “it’s nice to meet yo-oh!” Your grandmother had yanked him into a tight hug. She pulled back up looked up at him, “oh so tall! My grandbabies pickin’ right might finally get some height in this family.” She squinted as she peered at his piercings, “all these piercings don’t that hurt sweetie?” You sigh and save Hobie pulling him back to your side, “Granny.” She waved you off, “I know. He’s still very nice on the eyes.” She smirked. She then looked back to Hobie, “now. Thought I heard an accent in there. Where you from?” “London ma’am.” He replied respectfully. She nodded, “okay, okay. Well I hope you hungry cuz I’m almost done in here.” “Smells bangin’. Can’t wait to eat it.”

Before anyone could say anything else Bookie came in, “Granny I brought your only great grand can I get the first plate?”

“Girl!”

———

Hobie sat down beside you at the picnic table eating. In front of the two of you was your cousin and her crew. As he ate he kept feeling someone’s eyes on him and every time he looked up it was the same girl. She was white from what he could tell, had black hair to her shoulders with her edges done, a septum, and over lined lips with lipliner and gloss combo you usually used. She would smirk whenever their eyes met but it never went further than that.

Once everyone finished eating you turned to him wiping the corner of his mouth, “want some dessert baby?” He smiled softly, “that’d be lovely, doll.”. Bookie stood with you also going to get some while Khalil went off to change Jayla leaving the punk alone. That is until the mystery girl sat herself beside him a little too close for comfort.

“Hey.” Her tone making him scoot over a bit.

“Uh hi.” He said before pulling out his phone hoping she wouldn’t continue talking but of course luck wasn’t on his side. “I saw you wit’ [name]…” she her name with a smidge of venom that he caught, “y’all like friends or summ?” He continued scrolling on his phone but answered her, “bit more than that, mate.” She sucked her teeth in annoyance, “what wrong wit’ you? She don’t let you have friends?”

“Not with bitches holding onto that one black grandma like their life depends on it.” Oh thank goodness for Bookie.

You stood beside her with a stank face and two bowls of banana pudding. You placed one in front of him and placed yours at your seat but chose to stand and stare at the girl.

“You know you don’t talk like that in real life Tisha.”

Oh fuck.

The girl stayed at her seat beside Hobie and rolled her eyes, “whatever girl. He ain’t yo nigga. Yours busy with that baby so worry ‘bout that!”

Everyone started taking notice of the discussion. Tisha’s friends, including a distant cousin of yours, coming over.

Bookie screwed her face up and almost lept across the table till Khalil swooped in, “mention my kid again and I promise you. He ain’t gon be able to keep me from you.” She growled.

You glared at the girl, “he ain’t hers but he mine and he clearly don’t wanna talk to you. I suggest you stop sayin’ nigga by the way before actual niggas tag yo head.”

“She’s part black…”

“Shut yo dumbass up Maggie oh my god!”

“I think he can speak for himself.” Tisha said snidely.

It happened so fast but it also felt like slow motion. Even with his spidey sense Hobie didn’t see the attack coming.

After her snide remark you promptly dragged Tisha from the table and commenced to beating dat ass! Like you really whooped that hoe! Walked that girl like a dog! Honestly you should be ashamed of yourself. Shame on you [name]. Shame! Why you do that girl like that?!

When you finally got dragged off of her by Hobie who whispered in your ear trying to calm you down she was just a mess on the ground. Her wig as gone, she was missing a sandal, she had holes all in her leggings, and as much as she tried to cover it she had a knot and black eye.

Everyone whispered around shocked before one of you uncles spoke up, “aight now. Someone get the girl up off the flo’. Get her on home.” He said as her friends came to her aid. He shook his head mumbling, “shouldn’t been talkin’ shit.”

———

You sat at the kitchen table hissing in pain, “ow! That hurts Hobes!” He sucked his teeth, “oi, pipe down Mayweather. It’s not that bad.” He said as he internally winced, putting bandaids on your fingers where your nails broke off too close. You pouted before looking at him as he carefully worked, “I’m sorry I did that.” The man snorted before actually full blown laugh. “What are you apologizin’ for? Did wha’ you had to do, yeah?” His tone is light and playful. He then smirked, “it was a bit hot too…” he kissed your hands as he placed the last bandage. You looked at him with low eyes, “oh yeah?” “Yeah…”

“Ouuuu y’all in Granny kitchen being nasty!”

“You have a whole baby??? Get out???”

“Okay but lemme get summ of that potato salad behind you before I go.”

“BOOKIE!”