#they wrote this for me specifically I think

[plaidos]

i hadn’t looked too hard into the michfest thing, but i’m just now doing my research and reflecting on alison bechdel’s relation w trans people and she honestly strikes me as a massive coward 😭. wrote a comic critizing michfest for its transphobic policies, continued to go. said some vaguely trans positive things in interviews and some comics, does some base level trans activism these days, but doesn’t seem to have done any deep dive on her own transmisogyny. i guess, and i’m asking this genuinely, is terf an accurate word for her if she’s just a fucking coward? is terf a good word for someone who reposted something supporting trans youth just a couple months ago? like (today) she’s more supportive of trans people than the average person but the bar is fucking on the floor. trying to figure out this things for myself cause idk if there’s an easy answer. but yeah michfest was fucking awful i can’t believe i didn’t know more about it sooner. thanks for having generally good opinions and sorry people are harassing you

people have let the idea of the word terf simmer down into like, Only Completely Rabid Crazy Bigots Who Are Totally Blatant About It, like JK Rowling etc.

the truth is, the word terf was literally coined to describe the people who attended Michfest specifically. that is literally what it was meant to describe, always. i don't think it's cowardice for Bechdel to play nice with a bunch of transmisogynists and terfs, not at all -- what is she afraid of? the consensus is totally behind her and her ilk. she doesn't challenge it because even though she thinks that trans people deserve to be treated politely/kindly, she does not value trans women's perspectives as women and sees us to be male socialised. you can support trans youth, read trans books, promote trans artists all you want, if you believe terf rhetoric you are a terf.

[the-library-alcove]

That's a fascinating conclusion! Pray tell, where did I mention Zionism? Because specific examples I was thinking of when I wrote that involved such things as having a Christian dictate to me what is and isn't considered to be Christian antisemitism, to having a left-winger declare that he was the arbiter on what constituted antisemitism, to people trying to define Jews out of our own history ("ghetto", for example, was literally coined to describe the areas that Jews were confined to in Europe), to people who declare that "since Jews are White, the Holocaust was White On White Violence" and that "Jews have always been considered to be White People in the US", along with other historically revisionist bullshit.

Or are you saying that you're just as ignorant and proving my point by saying that you only care about Jews and learning anything about us when it's politically convenient?

when will we talk about the willful helplessness epidemic on here. So many people on this god forsaken website demand to have any and all things that exist outside their personal experiences directly, personally pre-chewed and spoonfed to them. And when you do, they'll then ask for you to swallow for them, too, because, you see, in THEIR experience..,

[youssefguedira]

I wish you would write a fic about irreconcilable artistic differences on a movie set between Joe and Nicky.

not really irreconciliable as in not solvable at all but you know i had fun with this

Joe squeezes his eyes shut, covering his face with both hands, and leans forward. His shoulders tremble uncontrollably. He takes a short, sharp breath, and another, and another, but he can’t quite seem to get enough into his lungs. There’s a lump in his throat and a weight in his stomach. He leans forward with a low, wounded sound and–

“Cut,” Nicky says softly. Then, because it takes Joe a second to hear him: “Joe, stop.”

Slowly, Joe raises his head. Wipes at his eyes and takes a few deep breaths to steady himself. Nicky’s already up, frowning ever so slightly as he looks at the camera. 

“What is it this time?” Joe manages. His voice is hoarse; he has to clear his throat once or twice. Nicky doesn’t look up. The clock on the nightstand reads 01.34, but Nicky’s changed it a few times over the course of the shoot. He has no clue what time it really is, only that it’s dark outside.

It’s just the two of them in the room. Nicky had wanted to keep this one small, just him and Joe and the camera. The apartment they’re in is nice, if a little empty, though Joe supposes that’s the point. They’re in the bedroom, Joe sitting cross-legged on the bed, shirtless, sheets bunched up over his lap, a phone lying on the nightstand behind him. One entire wall of the room is taken up by a floor-to-ceiling window which lets the moonlight in, though there’s a few low lights set up behind Nicky to send bars of silver light across the bed, because the natural light hadn’t quite been strong enough for the effect Nicky wanted. It’s otherworldly; it’s beautiful. 

Nicky still isn’t looking at him, so Joe says again, “What?” It comes out a little harsher than he means it to, but it gets Nicky’s attention.

Nicky runs one hand through his hair. Joe can’t see him well, not with the light behind him and the shadows in the room. “I don’t know,” Nicky says. “It’s missing something.”

Joe has worked with Nicky enough times before. It’s not that he doesn’t like working with him - they’re friends - but he can’t fucking read him, and so after the sixth take of the same scene he can’t help but take it a little personally. 

Joe reaches for the bottle of water hidden just under the bed and takes a long drink, mostly to keep himself from snapping. What time is it? “I can try again, but I can’t do this indefinitely, Nicky.”

“I know, I know,” Nicky says, fidgeting again with the camera, “it’s not you, it’s just–” 

“What else could it be?” Joe interrupts. He’s not stupid. This scene doesn’t work if he can’t get it right, which means the entire film doesn’t work if he can’t get it right. More than anything else, this one depends on him. No music, no camera movement, no dialogue, nothing but him and the camera. And he wants to do it right, he loves this project almost as much as Nicky does, but there’s a hollow feeling in his chest and he’s spent the last however-many-hours having a near-complete breakdown over and over again and it’s still not right. And Joe doesn’t know what it is he’s doing wrong.

“I don’t know,” Nicky says quietly. Now he is looking at Joe, and Joe can’t tell if he’s disappointed, or angry, or – or what. He’s perfectly expressionless, as always. 

Joe loves this job. And he wants to get this right. But it doesn’t mean it’s not one of the hardest things he’s ever had to do, and he’s tired.

“I don’t have much more left in me, Nicky,” he says, and this time he does snap. He wipes at his eyes again, can’t look at Nicky. He’s supposed to be making himself vulnerable, above all in this scene, but suddenly he can’t stand the way Nicky’s looking at him. “Pass me my hoodie.”

“Joe–”

“I can’t. I can’t keep doing this.” He kicks the sheets off and gets tangled trying to do it, grabs his hoodie when Nicky offers it, pulls it over his head in one fluid motion and gets out of there as soon as he can. Thankfully, there’s only Andy and Nile in the other room, Andy lying back on the couch with her feet up and Nile perched on the arm of it. They both look up at Joe as he enters, both look like they’re about to ask, and Joe can’t stand it, can’t be in here a second longer, can’t–

“We are done for the day, I think,” Nicky says behind him, startling Joe. He hadn’t realised Nicky was there.

Andy raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t argue. It’s already the second day of trying to shoot this scene: they’re running the risk of falling behind schedule. 

“We’ll find something else to do tomorrow,” Nicky says. “I’ll look over everything tonight. We will try this again on Monday.”

Andy and Nile look at each other. Nile shrugs. 

“Get some rest, Joe,” Nicky says. 

Joe shoves his hands in his pockets and doesn’t say a word.

–--------------------------------

He doesn’t get called in the next day at all, and he doesn’t interrogate it too closely. Takes the day off, pretty much, because they’ve only really got one scene left to film, and there’s not much more he can do for that. Nicky had wanted to leave it to the last, and Joe had agreed, at the time.

At about nine pm, someone knocks on his hotel room door, which is unusual on a day where they don’t have a night shoot to do. When he opens it, Nicky is on the other side. Joe lets him in without a word. 

“I wanted to apologise,” Nicky says, standing in the middle of the room and looking as uncomfortable as Joe’s ever seen him. “For last night. I was pushing you too hard, and I should not have done.”

Joe closes the door behind him. Nicky fidgets with the sleeve of his hoodie. 

“Sit down,” Joe says. 

Nicky does, settling himself on the edge of Joe’s bed, not quite looking him in the eye. Joe joins him, after a moment. 

“At the risk of sounding cliche,” Nicky says, “it’s not you, it’s me.”

Joe laughs, mostly because the phrase sounds so strange coming from Nicky and also because out of everything he’d thought Nicky might say, he hadn’t expected that. 

Nicky smiles slightly, too. Then he gets up and heads for the minibar. “Mind if I have a drink?”

Joe shakes his head. Nicky gets out a little bottle of wine, glances at the label, and takes a swig straight from the bottle without bothering to get a glass. 

“I can’t seem to get it right,” Nicky says. “You know I wrote almost fifteen different versions of that scene?”

The scene in the script itself is barely a page long. “No,” Joe says. 

Nicky nods. Rubs a hand over his face. “I wanted it to feel real. I thought if I could get it right, it would… help, somehow. I don’t know.”

It’s the exact same reason Joe said yes before he even read the script, when the whole thing was just an idea in Nicky’s head, when they were talking about it over drinks at Andy’s and Joe was in love with the idea almost immediately. He knew exactly why Nicky was writing it; he knows, now, exactly why it needs to be right. But at the same time – “I don’t know if that’s possible, Nicky.”

Nicky sighs. “I know.” He crosses back over to sit beside Joe again, takes another drink from the bottle. “But there is something missing, and I cannot seem to find it. And so it does not feel real. And I know this is not easy for you.”

“It’s not,” Joe says plainly. 

“But you know,” Nicky continues, “I could not have trusted anyone with this but you. If you had not said yes, I would not have done this.”

That, Joe didn’t know: he knows he’d been Nicky’s first choice, but he’d assumed that’s because they know each other well enough already. But it makes sense: the reason Nicky wrote the script is the same thing they’d bonded over. 

Even still, it’s a lot. “I don’t know if I can do it the way you want,” Joe says. 

Nicky looks up at him from where he’s been running his fingers over the label on the bottle absentmindedly. “If you want to stop, I can–”

“No,” Joe says quickly. “But I don’t think it’s ever going to be exactly the way you felt.”

Nicky looks away. “It is a lot to ask,” he says. “I know this.”

Joe doesn’t think; just reaches over and takes Nicky’s hand. “I know,” he says. “Trust me.”

Nicky takes a deep breath. Then he nods. "Okay."

[deckedcards]

. . . I THINK I’M LIKING HIM MORE, HE DOES THE THINGS I NEVER ASK FOR

⌗ PAIRING: shuntarō chishiya x male! reader

⌗ SUMMARY: chishiya, the cold-hearted and reckless troublemaker of the school has seemingly had his eyes stuck on a certain nerdy boy that always carelessly walks around his area of the place.

⌗ THIS WORK INCLUDES . . . lowercase intended, third person pov, no borderlands au, high school au, fluff, tiny bit of angst, short fic, delinquent! chishiya, nerd! reader, reader kinda has a nonchalant personality, secret relationship, mentions of bullying, fighting, mentions of harassment, chishiya being protective over reader, unintentional slight yandere! chishiya, kinda obsessed chishiya, stalking, reader is the same height as chishiya, hopelessly in love chishiya, reader likes what he’s doing, i wrote chishiya to have the same appearance as nijirô’s character in tokyo revengers “kazutora hanemiya,” includes some inaccurate stuff about japanese schools, a little inspired by yandere simulator, possible grammar and wording mistakes ❨ not proof read ❩

⌗ EXTRA NOTES: this came to me when i saw an edit of nijirô in the tokyo revengers movie soo shoutout to the person who made that i guess😀😀

⸺ A CALMING SCHOOL BELL echoed loudly around the building, multiple students taking the things from their desks and rushing out of the doors desperate to go home. chishiya stood flat against one of the walls, ignoring the people taking cautious steps near him. the feared delinquent of the school is the reputation he’s made for himself here.

starting fights with random students that would ever accidentally brush against him in the hallways resulting in said students having their faces be beaten and disfigured to the point of no return. forcing people against their will to participate in fight clubs and make bets on their failures, making some of his friends do his dirty work whenever he wasn’t in the mood to handle something, never batting an eye whenever girls got harassed by his friends. the man showed no remorse for his actions, his face always set into a poker expression as a tiny kitten smile grazed his lips. he only hung around a few people, the rest of his “gang” and a girl named hikari kuina, one of the gyarus at this school.

chishiya kept his head low as his bangs covered the top of his eyes, searching for a specific pair of shoes that would walk past him. his eyes shined as he found them, straightening his posture as he trailed behind the person he was waiting for, (name). this man was special to him, he felt a sense of priority in protecting him. (name) was a nerd, always getting good grades and getting scored at the top of his classes, he was the perfect punching bag for someone like chishiya. but thats not what he wanted from him, no. (name) was the only person that didn’t fear him at every waking moment, he didn’t care if chishiya or his friends were some big bad entity, he treated them like they were just regular students at this school because… they were!

and thats what chishiya favored about him. the boy served zero interest in getting involved with him, he didn’t care if he walked through the hallways of his unassigned part of the school, the part where all the delinquents would hangout. the part which was also coincidentally where a shortcut was made to cut through the rest of the school and get to classes faster.

chishiya sat with his legs crossed ontop of a heater box, he picked at his nails as his ears gathered up the sounds of two boys getting beaten by some of the people in his group. pleads were heard as he raised his hand to scratch at his scalp, dark hair getting twisted up as he thread his hands through it. the lunch bell rang, he saw students from across getting out of their classes and walking towards the cafeteria, all of them avoiding his hallway. him seeing some people hurriedly grab their friends as they made sudden mistakes of taking a few steps at the end of it.

this was a regular occurrence, him observing people as they sent him fearful stares and instinctively quivering in their shoes this worsening especially when he planted himself in different areas of the school. developing fears of any of the places that he’d be able to hide in. corners, closets, corridors, classrooms, the garden or swimming pool that were placed behind the school, anything. sudden gasps and whispers of different students filled his eardrums as he turned his neck to glance at what was happening, a figure was coming his way.

a boy with glasses and a resting bitch face trudged through like a model, his unbothered body language shined through him like a flashlight. chishiya examined him throughly, he was about the same height as him, white shirt unbuttoned slightly and exposing the tank top underneath it, his uniform blazer was held in his arms like a coat hanger as he adjusted the bag with multiple keychains on his shoulder. a lavender aroma hit his nostrils like a grenade, the scent calming down any type of tension that was set in his body.

chishiya watched as he stepped over the bodies of the boys on the floor, them and their bullies stared at him in confusion as he continued to walk away, not sparing any glances at anyone that hung around the rest of the corridor. chishiya quirked his eyebrow as one of his friends looked at him, looking for any signals in his face to go after the guy. he shook his head as he got down from where he was sitting sticking his hands in the pockets of his pants as his eyes glued onto figure before glancing away as he rounded a corner, leaving his imprint on everyone’s gaze.

ever since that encounter chishiya became more excited on the inside as he waited for the man’s presence to pass by him in the halls. he found out his name was (name) when he “decided” to attend one of the schools assemblies. of course, like always, (name) was there too as he walked up to the stage with someone that was apart of the staff announcing an award for him. chishiya observed him throughout everything, walking into school, going to class, eating lunch, passing through the building, looking at him through the windows of his classroom while he was sat near the wall and squatting down whenever (name) felt his cat-like eyes on him, even following him home to ensure his safety and just his safety (definitely not because he wants to know where the person he loves lives and watch over him incase something happened to him.)

“how long are you gonna keep following me for?”

chishiya stepped out of his dazed mind, blinking slowly as he saw (name) with his body turnt towards him hands on his bag and glasses rested ontop of his head, “follow?” chishiya repeated, pushing his lips out as he thought of a lie to say, “i’m just trying to go home like everyone else,” (name) raised one of his brows, did he think he was that stupid? acting like he didn’t know about the shadow that chishiya always left on the places he visited. the figure he always noticed standing outside of his window at night that had the same similarities of his silhouette. the way chishiya prevented his friends from causing harm to him, threatening them if they ever had thoughts of trying to do what they regularly did to other nerds in the school.

all the jealous stares that chishiya sent his way whenever (name) held the quivering hands of his friends as he guided them through the passageway, wishing that was him in their place and not them. he didn’t wanna admit it but chishiya’s actions made his heart flutter a bit, (name) wasn’t liked throughout the school, especially with how “perfect” his image was. people attempting to use his intelligence in ways to benefit themselves, sending scowls his direction and spouting insults at him accusing him of sleeping with his homeroom teachers and the principal to get where he was now.

his careless attitude kept all of this from straining his heart, continuing to do what he did best and enjoying all the praise adults sent his way. (name)’s always been advised in avoiding the delinquents or anyone that could tarnish his reputation and strain him from his academics, but how could he do that when chishiya was just so cute?

him and his sharp cat features, the dyed black and dirty white hair that suited his skin tone so well, his dark tattoo that covered the side of his neck and the tough exterior that prevented him from showing others what he was really feeling at times. (name) knew there was more to chishiya then how he made himself to be, a kinder and sweeter boy that cared more about the lives of others and his own ideals.

(name) hummed as he kicked a fake rock away from his shoes, “that’s what you said yesterday,” he said stepping closer to chishiya as he spoke, “and the day before that and then the day before that one and the week before that,” (name) brought his hands up to hold the sides of chishiya’s face as he saw his lip corners curving upwards, “how long are we gonna have to keep this up for?”

the air shifted as the two sought comfort in each other’s eyes, chishiya leaning one of the sides of his face into (name)’s gentle warm palm, “until we get out of here,” he sorely replied watching as (name) exhaled through his nose and shifted his gaze to the floor beneath them, “it’s our last year here, only a few more months and we’re gone,” chishiya said bringing up his hand to cup one of (name)’s as he nodded.

(name) leaned forward to press a small kiss onto the man’s pink lips, redirecting his right hand to play with the dangly earring on chishiya’s earlobe as his saddened expression made itself more visible the moment he spoke up, “just, don’t keep me locked in your heart until then…” he mumbled tearing away from his lover trying to ignore the way chishiya frowned as his body spun away from him, only leaving chishiya to stand in the darkened light of the place as his face tried desperately to cling onto the feeling of where (name) had left his touch.

[sakuraryomen01]

Valentino /Sukuna Ryomen x Fem! Reader/ .12 [Tense, be warned]

warnings: asshole sukuna, college prep. school (aka bitch u at an expensive ass school), former friends to lovers, slow burned love, yuji is sukuna's little brother, OOC Sukuna, a tense morning/ fight with sukuna (there r a lot of swapping povs in the first half i'm so sorry if it's confusing), y/n going on a date-ish with Nickolas, seeing yuji again, make-up attempt by sukuna, falling asleep together on the couch

reader: female reader; 23 years of age, college prep.

plot: It's been years since you've moved from country life, since you've forgotten about all the things you used to love about your hometown and where you grew up from... you didn't think it'd chase you to college in the city after almost a decade..

words: 8.222k

fanfic masterlist: .o1 .o2 .o3 .o4 .o5 .o6 .o7 .o8 .o9 .10 .11 .12 .13 .14 .15 .16 .17 .18 .19 .20

a/n: Hey guys, it's been a while huh? Sorry for the long ass break (literally been a year since I last wrote, I think) but I hope I can make it up to you! I'm currently working on some things in my personal life that I hope will go smoothly, but since it's been so long, I decided to come back!! I hope to finish my Valentino fanfiction sometime soon along with Tiger Twins and Sex Exercise! Thanks for waiting on me, I've just been so busy... @@;

. . .

Thank you for reading this! Enjoy!

↞↞↞ ♡ ↠↠↠

Sukuna couldn’t remember much from the night before. Just some late night drinking, a few annoyed shouts in his dorm. And then blank. But, that didn’t explain what he was doing on someone else’s couch right now.

Your couch, specifically.

Not on it either, on the floor next to it. 

A cooking pot for curry or big stews rested next to his head. Smelling of vomit and the alcohol he had consumed prior to even making his way over to your place. His brow was covered in a cold sweat as he tried to move a few of his fingers, all of them asleep either under his warm cheek or on the carpet next to him.

What the fuck happened?

“Morning.”

Sukuna’s body ached at the meer tone of your voice, struggling just to roll over and see you standing over him. Hands on your hips, pj’s wrinkled and messy, hair done up in the messiest bun he’s ever seen before.

Competing even with a side hoe’s messy handlebar…

“You gonna eat breakfast or what?” You say, voice stern and annoyed. “I’m not going to wait for you all day, y’know? Got classes.”

“....what..?”

“Haa.. Say what again and you’ll end up outside.”

Now, while you seemed royally pissed off, Sukuna was surprised that you hadn’t kicked him out the moment he had… touched you. It was hard to really compute the situation from his spot on the floor, seeing as seeing the melons on your chest filled your top pretty good. Wonderful sight actually, he should probably stay on the floor.

“Up in five minutes.” With a stomp, you and your melons walked back into the kitchen. The smell of sizzling bacon, eggs and toast wafted throughout the dorm room. The warm aroma of waffles cooking in a fryer made Sukuna’s stomach churn.

From hunger or the hangover, he chose not to dwell on which.

Taking a good few minutes to actually sit up, clutching his veiny hand onto the couch’s seat for dear life, the fluffy haired punk took a good deep breath. His lungs filled with the sweet smell of a home cooked meal and instantly he began to drool. Salivating at what your cooking could possibly taste like. 

Probably bad, Sukuna thought to himself, eyes barely able to open.

“The omelet and waffles are ready!” The sounds of clinking silverware and plates followed made Sukuna’s stomach growl even louder. Pain developed from the intensity of the churning in his gut, forcing him to stand to his feet and trudge ever so slowly to the kitchen. 

The shuffling sound of his socks alerting you rather quickly to the ever nearing male that has entered into your dorm. His tall frame nearly towered over you, thankfully it wasn’t like Gojo. Spatula scraping against the skillet as you put four strips of thick bacon on the plates between the eggs, waffles and slabs of sausage patties. Both plates next to two large cups of OJ. Grease and grizzle dribbling down the sides of the meat and mixing with the oil from the skillet and egg.

“Grab one and sit,” You usher Sukuna over to the small coffee table, putting away the cooking supplies and grabbing your own plate. “I’m gonna put on some news.”

“Don’t put that on,” Sukuna retorts, following after you and resting himself on the couch with you. Muttering to himself as you flipped between channels, justifying that you only needed to see the weather for the next few days.

While it wasn’t what it used to be, the meal reminded Sukuna of back home. Days when you, him and Yuji would be waking up the morning after a sleepover at your house. The glaring but gentle glow of the sunlight pouring between the blankets of a poorly built fort by you with the help of your father.

Sukuna remembered the soft feeling of plush animals on his cheeks, the warmth of the rays beating down through the blanket that hung overhead. He remembered the feelings he had when he was young– how his head never felt like it sat right on his shoulders when he sat up, the way his chest ached when he looked down at your sleeping form. Always with your hair a mess and your face littered with wrinkle marks. 

That irritating throb he’d feel just by seeing you so calm and relaxed..

You were always the second one up, no matter which brother woke up first, you were always there to bug the other into an early wake. While your habits were always strange, Sukuna found them endearing. Following in your steps silently as you wandered about the large home you used to roam with your small hands clasped around a stuffed animal. The sight of small, yawning, eye rubbing you was too cute. Making Sukuna laugh to himself at how you contrasted during the day when you were full of energy; always wanting to talk to him about different flowers and the garden while he liked to annoy you with beetles he found.

I tell her to let go of the past and here I am reminiscing on it.

“Sukuna? Are you even listening to me?” You shout with your lips in a tight pout. Hair slowly falling from your frazzled bun, gracing across your shoulders and back. Sukuna’s maroon orbs trailed over your figure as his brows began to furrow. Strange, you did change a lot since your previous encounter.

Did you get a haircut recently? Maybe a new body wash.

“Sorry,” Sukuna replied with a flat tone, rubbing morning crust from his eyes and turning his attention to the television. Once displayed news was now playing some random sitcom, something you often watched back home with your folks. “I was thinking of something– it’s not important though.”

“You always think of something else when I’m talking to you!”

When you didn’t get a reply, you let out a strained sigh and continued scarfing down the remnants of your breakfast. Piling waffle, sausage and egg into a small sandwich-like bite, covered in syrup and butter. Like a starved animal you devoured every morsel that remained on your plate. Only stopping to take a sip from your cup of OJ every few minutes or so; it was a miracle that you hadn’t begun choking yet.

Surprisingly, Sukuna was taking his time to eat. Maybe he was too tired to be how he normally is around food: ravenous. 

After you had finished gorging on your meal, you stole a glance at your watch and stood abruptly face, startling the man on your couch. “What are you doing now?”

“I am gonna be late for my meet-up with Nick,” You start, hurrying to wash off the plate and fork in the kitchen, quickly drying your hands off on a rag. “We have to go over our project ideas again before finalizing one.”

Sukuna’s brow twitches up slightly, his gaze watching you as you rush around the apartment gathering your things. That Nickolas guy, right? Yeah.

Did you have to bring that guy up now?

“I’m busy eating, y’know?” He utters under his breath, currently chewing the length of a sausage link. Pressing his dark brows together in a mixture of a pout and glare. “Don’t try to ruin my appetite. Your food tastes good, for once.”

You let out a strained sigh as you make your way to the bedroom, grabbing your bag and shifting through your previous notes into a binder. Making sure to pack some additional pens, pencils and erasers coupled with some notepads. While normally you always rushed out to study, you were in a rather big hurry today.

To try and escape a talk about the previous night..

Last night flashed through your mind over and over. From the hot and steamy breaths to the harsh, yet gentle caresses across your body. It was hard to pretend, to ignore the events. Acting as if nothing happened between you both. Did he even remember what he did? With how wasted he was, you guessed not. How irritating.

“I don’t get him,” You mutter to yourself, pausing your movements. A million and one thoughts continued to flash through your mind. All that time, all his annoyance with you. Just to turn around and pull a crazy stunt like that. And for what? To lure you back in?

To make you think of only him? What kind of an idiot does he take you for?

After a few moments of pondering, you brushed it aside. No matter what you did now, Sukuna either didn’t want to talk to you, or pushed you away. What point was there in trying to rekindle something that he didn’t want in return? The thing you should’ve come to terms with long ago.

You finished packing your things before slinging your bag over your shoulder, heading into the living room to see Sukuna huddled over the sink. Washing the dirty dishes, scrubbing mindlessly at the sticky syrup on the plates and juice in the cups. It was an odd sight, and somehow sweet.

“Leaving?” He muttered, lifting a plate up to look over it. Voice low and unusually quiet compared to normal, it sent a shiver down your spine.

“Yes.”

The air became tense at the sound of plates clinking together in the dish holder. Running water turned from a constant stream to a pitter patter of droplets as Sukuna turned the sink’s knob, wiping his hands off on a small hand rag next to it.

“..Don't you,” Slipping a hand into his pocket, Sukuna let out a sharp grunt. His free hand coming up to scratch at his nape, disheveling already messy hair. “Don't you want to talk about.. it?”

“Not particularly.”

Shit, this is harder than he thought.

“I figured you'd wanted to, since you're always going on about wanting to talk to me. Not in the mood? Or is this new guy important now?”

The question was returned with a confused brow lift. “More important?” 

Sukuna never felt so frustrated and annoyed, even after such a good meal right in the morning as a hangover cure. He could tell something was just off. You were avoiding him, barely taking glances at him. Just focusing your eyes forward.

He didn’t understand what happened last night to get you to act like this with him, but frankly it’s irritating. Especially with how big this aching throb going on in his chest was. It was an odd feeling he hasn’t had for a while, and he couldn’t tell if it was just his regular annoyance with you or.. Something else.

“He’s not ‘more important’,” You say, shaking your head, squeezing the strap of your bag before turning to the door. “My education is and I’m trying my best.”

“Stop looking away from me!”

Before Sukuna could blink, his hand was wrapped around your wrist. Squeezing just enough for a numb throb to course through your hand. It was like a blur, one moment he was next to the kitchen counter and the next he was near toe to toe with your smaller frame. Eyes wide and brows furrowed, a small vein pumping across his jugular. Your expression only mirrored his, but with a mix of fear and befuddlement.

Don’t make that face with him.. He hates it.

“What’s gotten into you?” A mumble escaped your lips, your pretty little lips. The cute, plump flesh he’s imagined often recently. Along with your eyes, making him dizzy at how they’d roll like your hips; having him start to wonder what your dazed and blissed out look must’ve been–

 “Sukuna!”

Barely a flinch, just a quick blink of the eyes as his face relaxed, mirroring yours near perfectly. Taking in the moment, Sukuna looked down at his hand. The large, calloused palm and fingers grasped onto a smaller and delicate wrist. His own massive compared to yours, decorated with the black bands of his tattoo. So, so different you’ve become.

Without a word, Sukuna stepped closer. Refusing to release your wrist but instead letting his hand glide down to meet with yours. What was he doing? He doesn’t know. He thought he didn’t need you. He doesn’t. 

“Kid–”

“Don’t start with me!”

His marooned orbs lift from your connected hands, his fingers barely gripping onto yours. Why does he do this? It’s frustrating. Feeling his warm hands, how gentle they contrasted to the night before. How he’s behaving now to when you first reunited. The questions wouldn’t come out, the intensity only building brick by painful brick in your mind.

You can’t take this type of torture, this pain.

“I’ve had to deal with you since I first tried talking to you,” You start, feeling a burning sensation in your eyes, a sharp throb in your chest. Face downcast, your reddening eyes barely able to focus on the small connection between the both of you.

His hand reached for yours, holding your fingers like they were delicate porcelain unlike before. When he didn’t so much as let you care for him when he was sick. Reminding you constantly that every little kiss, gentle caress, it was an accident. That nothing he showed was true, pure.

The mere fact he came wobbling to your door the night before black-out drunk was proof enough that this was the same event all over again.

“You’re telling me not to get attached then turn around and kiss me! Tell me that it means nothing but you hold me close as if I’m going to run away from you! I can’t stand it, I can’t stand you.”

You could feel it, your heart tearing in two. The connection you craved was never there. It fizzled away like bubbles in a tub, gone after enjoyment for a little while. Too different to try, too different to change. If only you realized this sooner. It was only until you lifted your gaze to look up at him that you felt your tears dripping. You probably looked like some child having a fit, but it didn’t matter.

You were tired of it.

“All you’ve done is make me feel confused and upset,” It felt like venom saying these things. Poison. A poison meant to destroy your heart. So tense, it felt like it wasn’t beating at all despite its thunderous beat pumping in your ears. “I’m sick of feeling this. Before I knew you were here, it was easier. I was focused on more than my heart and how it felt all the time.”

“Brat.”

“I was able to pay attention in class, it didn’t feel draining being around people–!!”

“Y/n!”

In an attempt to pull you into his embrace, Sukuna grabbed your hand and brought you to his chest. Hooking his large arm around your nape to press your weeping face into his chest, to try and silence your cries. But you fought back, slipping your hand from his, breaking what little hope Sukuna desired to have between you. To think before he didn’t give even an ounce of a fuck when he first arrived.

That there was no care in the world before, but seeing you now. Seeing this hurt he’s caused, the shameful tears. It was enough to make him want to snap– to scream, to punch a hole through the wall –but he instead opted to bring you into his space. You coddle your head into his chest, trying to rub gentle and therapeutic circles with his thumb into your neck even at the awkward angle.

What does he do? What can he do?

He’s never felt so impulsed before, so inclined. It wasn’t in his nature to feel this petrified, this conflicted.

“Y/n, stop sobbing,” Sukuna muttered into your ear, trying to hold you in place as you continued to fight and squirm against his hold. “You don’t look as pretty when you cry like this.”

“I don’t care how I look to you!” You shot back, managing to push him away from your trembling form. Your hair became a mess before him. Looking more and more deranged by the second as you tried to calm yourself, failing all the while. “It’s not your place to look at me.”

A mix of surprise and shame fell across Sukuna’s brow, a clash against his annoyed gaze. You could tell he was unsure of what to do. He never was sure how to comfort someone, even you when you were a kid. His hands clenching and unclenching into fists be his sides, arms tensing with each flex of his muscles. His mind raced a thousand miles an hour at thoughts of what to say before they were fogged up by your hand on his jaw.

Yanking his face being pulled down to become eye level with you, your fingers digging into the meat of his cheek and forcing his lips to pout. Exposing a few of his teeth along with a sweat droplet on the side of his temple. He looked like a lost cub desperate for his momma to come save him.

Pathetic looking.

“I’m tired,” You repeated, your cheeks beginning to dry as the tears stopped. “I’m tired of the back and forth. Of embarrassing myself for you.”

Sukuna could see your mind begin to ease, to feel reassured with itself. The calm eyes despite the redness. It worried him. He had the right to worry, you wanted to let him go.

You released your grasp on his chin, his hand coming to rub at the pinkish imprints on his cheek, his gaze never leaving yours. Stuck in a stiff silence until you began to reorganize yourself, fixing your hair and wiping your eyes, your sniffles the only sound Sukuna could hear. “You don’t have to leave if you’re still feeling sick, but make sure to keep to yourself.”

Not another word was spared as you turned to the door, no glance back to see his expression as you opened the door like you’ve done before. Just a quiet exit of your home, leaving Sukuna and his muffled thoughts behind. While the ache in your chest was still present, there was no longer a weight on your shoulders. Letting you leave freely, to attempt to go back to your day to day.

Traversing down the hallway, looking for your phone in your pocket to call your classmate for a meet-up. To try and at least calm yourself before having to return to a, hopefully, empty dorm.

Sukuna was speechless, still, quiet.

Staring blankly at the door that blocked his sight from you, to chase after you. It was like an alarm in his head going off, feeling regret. Like the sting of bitter before the sweet, Sukuna wanted to run after you. Yet he stood in his spot, like a lost puppy waiting for his owner. Except it felt like it would be longer than a day, it’d be another 12 years before he could see you.

To see how you’d changed, to talk to you, to hold you in his arms.

Why didn’t he do that at first? Why was he so bitter before again?

“Brat..” He muttered to himself as if you’d hear it and come running back to him. How could he expect you to do that when he’s done nothing but blow you off that whole time. “Y/n.”

All those letters he sent, all of them with no responses. It seems so petty. He held onto that fact for so long, as if it was your fault. For trying to make a life for yourself, he held it on you. And now that he’s seen the extent of what he’s done, he’s left quiet in your home.

The muffle of the TV blasting some random show in the background to mix with the throbbing in his ears.

“..Don't.. leave again.”

↞↞↞ ♡ ↠↠↠

The soft hustle and bustle of the library was mind numbing.

It felt as if you were listening to music that wasn’t really playing, it was a hallucination of a melody. A sweet melody, one that you used to listen to but you didn’t know the name. Or if it was a meal you hadn’t eaten but you desired so bad, had no money to even afford to pay for it at a store you loved. Hard to pinpoint what feelings were swirling in your head, but they weren’t any good.

That’s why, when you heard the soft tap of your partner’s shoes and a small “hey” from behind you, your shoulders relaxed instantly.

“Whoa, are you okay?” Nickolas asked, his head tilted just enough to let a few strands of hair fall gracefully from his shoulder. His slight accent is like a sweet, honey contrast to Sukuna’s from that morning. “If you missed me so much you could’ve called.”

“Nick,” You mumble weakly, trying to hide the fact you had indeed missed him even though you met not so long ago. “It’d be rude of me to, especially when you’re busy.”

In the little time you had shared together you learned quite a lot about your new friend.

He was a part-time employee at his grandfather’s mechanic’s shop, though he did most of the work just to help as his real passion was cooking. Nickolas enjoyed making carne asada fries with sour cream and extra jalapeno on his lunch breaks at work whenever he had the chance. Not only did he love the good smells and the tasteful bites that came with cooking, he loved the math behind it, the science. Always thinking that his next meal could be a perfect equation each time, 

Pastries were a little harder for him, but Nick always loved a good challenge.

“I’m not so busy nowadays,” He said, interrupting your train of thought momentarily as he sat next to you. “Abuelo isn’t at the shop most of the time and I’m not allowed to run the place without him. He got sick.”

“Ah, sorry,” You reply, sitting up in your spot and bringing out your notes. “Is he gonna be okay?”

“Yeah, he’ll be fine. He just pushed himself a little too much one day and needs rest.”

You continued to catch up for a few minutes before Nickolas brought up the night before, leaving a bitter taste in your mouth at the mention of it, but you obliged. Telling him that Sukuna was still resting at your place with a hangover and to not worry too much, it was a common occurrence.

“I hope so,” Nickolas flipped a few pages in his notebook as his laptop sat, booting up for the next hour-long discussion about your shared upcoming project. “When I saw him, he looked pretty out of shape.”

“He’s always out of shape.”

Nickolas was surprised by the retort, quickly turning to scan your face. Instantly noting the frustrated look and red eyes once more. “Something happened, didn’t it.. Was it me?”

The quiet shake of your head worried him, but it’s not like he could pry all that much. He turned his attention from you to the books that were sprawled out in a manner of minutes for the project. All the notes, all the studying. It must’ve been draining for you. So, without a second thought, Nickolas lifted his books and began snapping them closed, much to your surprise.

“What are you doing?”

“We are going out, I’m not in the mood to study right now.”

He left you jaw dropped and mind fumbling for words: What?

Nickolas stood from his seat at the table and began doing the same to your notepads and pulling pencils away from your grasp. Placing your things in your bag and gently resting a soft hand on your shoulder to shake you, to bring you back from whatever land you were visiting and back to Earth.

“Let’s go out today,” He said, a smirk playing on his pierced lips. “I’m really hungry. Missed lunch because of my professor.”

“Uhm,” What were you going to say? No? It’s food. “Sure, let’s.. Let’s get something to eat.”

Nickolas finished packing your things rather quickly, leaving you stunned as you followed behind him out of the library. Walking past a few small groups of friends and lone students studying for classes, leaving the calm atmosphere into the bustling noise of the main entrance area. Brushing aside your confusion, you were actually glad deep down. A break from school, a break from Sukuna, a break in general.

It was a desire you never really got to enjoy since you were so busy trying to make the most of your parent’s sacrifices to even get you into the school.

“I will warn you, my tastes are on the extreme end,” Nickolas blurted, letting his bag hang from his shoulder and he lifted his hair. Tying it up into a tight bun while some loose strands rested behind his ears and some draped across his forehead. “Hope it’s not that big of a problem.”

“Not at all.”

The both of you continued to talk about food as you made your way to the parking lot, chattering like birds on a line about different kinds of BBQ shops that were nearby, along with a large buffet that you visited frequently. Right as you reach the lot, you see a familiar figure walking down the sidewalk with a bike at his side. 

Fluffy pink hair, a jersey hanging over his shoulder and noticeable scars under his bright honey eyes. It was Yuji.

Quickly he spotted you, a smile lifting the corners of his lips as he picked up his pace. Letting his hand temporarily leave its spot on one of the handles to wave at you. “Y/n! It’s been so long since I saw you!”

You could tell that he’s been working out recently, his arms and chest looked more toned than before. It made you giggle at the contrast of the brothers. One was a baby-faced sweetheart and the other was a really dickhead. Somehow, they continued to have similar builds and features (no matter how many tattoos Sukuna got).

In moments you were in his arms, his little teases and giggles echoing in your head as you caught up. Leaving Nickolas to get his motorcycle ready to ride, climbing onto the seat and starting up the engine. The roar of it alone sends vibrations into the concrete ground underneath the powerful machine. Its cold, black paint job was decorated with a silver ghost flame design and the rims shining bright to match. 

Yuji took no time to waste as he introduced himself to the rider, giving his same boyishly adorable smile as always. “I’m Itadori Yuji! Are you guys about to go somewhere?”

“Yeah,” Nickolas hummed, leaning forwards on the steering and letting his weight move the heavy machine beneath him slightly. “I’m about to get some BBQ and maybe.. Some boba.”

Yuji smiled even brighter (somehow even beating the sun) before turning his attention back to you. His face turned from real cheerful to a concerned look in seconds, reaching a hand up to trace the line of your jaw. “What’s wrong with your eyes? Tired?”

“Oh, I’m fine,” You mumble, brushing Yuji’s arm away, trying to force a soft smile that’d deter him from prying. But by the look on his face, Yuji wasn’t about to give up.

“I was going to come visit Sukuna for a bit to tell him about my classes, but clearly I need to talk to him about something else.”

“Yuji, really, it’s not that big of a deal.”

Clearly it wasn’t going to work talking Yuji down from a discussion with Sukuna, you eventually gave up. There was no fighting him, not like you really had planned to. You were done with fighting for now, it was draining.

“Other than that,” Yuji said, giving your hair a tussle before giving you a side hug. “I gotta go anyways, I’ll call you tonight once I’m home. They’re letting everyone out on holiday early since our semester tests were so high.”

“That’s good.”

You returned the hug with as much strength as you could muster, earning a back rub and a quick peck on the head. Yuji was gone just as soon as he had arrived, admitting that he was in fact about to run late for another class at the moment anyways and wishing he could join the both of you, before rushing off into the campus. Off to find his misbehaving brother– as he put it– and leaving you alone once again with your Economics partner.

“He’s a go-lucky kinda guy,” Nick’s voice rang from behind you, a smirk on his lips. “I’m assuming that’s your boyfriend or something?”

You pout, folding your arms over your coat. “I couldn’t imagine dating Yuji. He’s much too sweet.”

“I see.”

His hand lifted in offering, nodding to the small seat behind him. “Hop on, it’s gonna get dark before you know it.”

You take a second to glance back at the area Yuji disappeared to, not seeing him anywhere. He must’ve been in quite an actual hurry to disappear so fast. Looking away, you took Nick’s hand. His fingers holding onto yours in a warm squeeze, smooth and strong compared to Sukuna’s thick and rough ones. It was a change that you didn’t think you’d need.

Nick guided you behind him onto the bike, handing you his (much too big) helmet and pushing it down over your hair. He gave it a few pats and lifted the visor. “Make sure that’s on tight, okay? Don’t want a pretty thing like you falling off.”

Your cheeks deepened in color, thankfully it was covered by the helmet’s rim. After checking on your posture and a few things on his bike, Nickolas guided the wheels backwards. Turning ever so slightly to face the exit of the parking area, looking over his shoulder back at you with a smile.

“Might want to hold on, Y/n. Motor’s aren’t exactly a four wheeled tin can.”

There was some hesitation as your arms guided their way around his waist. Your cheeks continued to burn underneath the safety of the helmet, guarding your flustered expression from all eyes. There was a quick tap as Nick closed the visor for you and revved up the engine. Kicking off the bike and turning out to the street, leaving you to your own devices in the passenger seat.

Clinging onto his robust waist in a desperate attempt to keep yourself steady on the moving monster.

The sounds of traffic and the radio started to clash as he drove farther and farther away from campus. The lights dimming in the background as street lights and nearby signs started to fill your sight. In your chest you started to feel lighter, even if you were clinging onto Nickolas to calm yourself and stay steady, the feeling of relief started to wash over you.

You slowly started to lift your head as cars started to pass by you, taking a deep breath and resting your cheek on the driver’s shoulder. The smell of the city made you miss the scent of the Sticks, of your old home and the Willow Tree. Even the old barn that the elders of the village warned not to visit in fear of ‘evil spirits.’

The flashing lights contrasted the millions of stars that would shine so bright in the middle of night. Stars alone in the Sticks felt like a magic show to young you. Your mother had always teased and said that a bunch of fireflies flew too close to try and reach the moon and got stuck in the sky, leaving their lights to help guide others to it in their stead.

“Moths have gotten lost up there too,” She would say, laying next to you in your old backyard. Pointing to different formations that the lights made, giving you tickles and kisses all the while. “They think the moon is like a giant light, they want to be with it so bad they’re willing to fly up towards it no matter the cost.”

Your mind continued to wander, remembering random things you got to do while you were living in that small village. Trees that grew alongside the streets of the road could never quite grow as big as the Willow Tree either.

“There’s magic that keeps it so tall and proud,” Your father’s cool tone always hummed, letting you rest in his lap as he read you another book. “It doesn’t like wilting, even in winter.”

You always loved their stories and tales, and had fun making them with them. 

All the while Sukuna was there too, it was like bliss.

Although he was mostly brooding at his young age, he liked to play pranks on you and Yuji. Always chasing you around and messing with the family cat. Bringing presents for your parents and sitting to listen to the stories in the books they lent to you. 

He was so cute back then..

Compared to now, You thought to yourself, feeling the breeze begin to still as Nick made a turn. Pulling into a somewhat busy parking lot of a buffet restaurant. He’s a different kind.

“Alright, Y/n,” He said, parking in between a truck and some SUV a family must’ve owned before turning back to you. “We’re here.”

↞↞↞ ♡ ↠↠↠

Enchiladas, red beans, rice, and peppers sat on your plate. Warm, covered in cheese and sauce covering the food while Nickolas’s was different. It was carne asada fries, extra peppers and sour cream on the side. Obviously.

“Dig in, my stomach’s growling!” He chuckles, not wasting any time helping himself. Letting you giggle and mess with him about the way he eats, but only returning the jokes as you begin to eat.

It made you forget about the day, about the project, about everything. Letting your head relax and your brain go blank, it’s been so long since you’ve been able to. Getting to know each other more, talking about your favorite topics. You could’ve sworn that that morning was just a bad dream, a small dent in your day. And it was all thanks to Nickolas for trying to cheer you up. You were gonna have to repay him somehow over this, letting him see you in such a state was hard to recover, but it’ll work itself out.

“The food here is better than I thought,” You muffled through a mouthful, chewing quickly as if you were both in the middle of an eating competition. “I’ll have to ask Yuji if he’d like coming here.”

“Mgh, he looks like the type to eat anything as long as it’s good,” Nickolas responded, gulping down some water to combat the spice of the cheese, eating a morsel of bread before continuing his food shoveling.

“You’d be surprised, he’s really picky.”

You and Nickolas continued to talk and eat, standing to grab more food, talking the day away in that little buffet. Splurging and going to get dessert a few times until your stomachs were practically bloating with too much to carry. It was fun, exciting. It felt almost like how home felt.

Comforting.

“Are you sure we can get boba? I think I’ll vomit!”

“I want strawberry milk tea, Nick. Besides, you offered. It’d be really rude of me to pass up on free boba!”

“Who said it’d be free!?” Nick questioned, holding you by the hip and guiding you towards the restrooms. Offering his arm again as you stumbled all full of food and treats on the way so that you wouldn’t fall and make a fool of yourself. “I’m already paying for the buffet.”

“I’m just kidding, Nickolas! And I would rather split.”

Nickolas managed to get you to the women's restroom, holding you against the wall and waving a hand at you. Dismissing your attempts to pay with mock offence. “My abuelo taught me to pay and treat a woman right, I’d be going against everything I believe in!”

Despite how you wished to stay and continue arguing, Nick guided you into the bathroom and left. Promising to wait nearby for you so that you wouldn’t feel alone, but you saw through a crack in the door that he had pulled out his wallet and begun lifting some money from his pocket. You shook your head and waddled into the nearest open stall, locking the door to use the facilities.

Once you had finished, you heard your notification sound from your purse as you were washing your hands. It was from Yuji, and as promised, he had had a talk with his brother.

The reminder gave you a bit of a clenching in the jaw, but you were fine. You felt better, you were better. Maybe you’d approach the situation with fresh eyes.

↞↞↞ ♡ ↠↠↠

Yuji– 10:59am, Saturday: I got him to talk a lil, so be wary. He’s quiet too, what did u say to him?

You– 1:13pm, Saturday: I said some pretty rude things, I’ll apologize to him later.

Yuji– 1:20pm, Saturday: Don’t tell me the both of you have been fighting!! 😡

You– 1:23pm, Saturday: It was just the one fight, I promise. I’ll make it up with him when I’m home.

↞↞↞ ♡ ↠↠↠

You and Nickolas left the buffet, arms linked as you climbed back onto the motorcycle and made your way to a drive-by boba store. The day felt like a big blur from all the excitement. In between boba and the food you visited little gacha shops and comic stores, geeking out about idols and enjoying some other assorted snacks with each other. A drive that cleared your head and made you forget all about the worry and stress of the last few months.

Feeling more like it was a quick stop rather than a day on the town as you both continued down to this small park. It was clearly a park for small children and their parents, but in the evening, it was free range for anyone. 

The swings creaked from the slightest movement, putting you and Nickolas into a fit of giggles. 

“You got cream on your nose,” He says, reaching over and cleaning the messy cream off your face. Bringing his thumb to his lip and licking it clean, leaning back and washing it down with another sip of his drink. Looking up at the sky and gazing at the little stars that were visible, the rest hidden in the glow of the street lamps. “It’s pretty at night, isn’t it?”

“Mm,” You nod, resting your head against the metal chain and turning your gaze up to the sparkling dots in the sky. The memory of your mother flashed through your mind again, making you smile.

“My mom says that stars are fireflies that got stuck trying to reach the moon, or something like that.”

“Oh? My momma said they’re our family watching over us.”

The both of you hum at the sentimental meanings of the stars, reflecting and enjoying the growing cool of the evening breeze. It gave your arms goosebumps across your skin, making you rub them out of instinct. Your movements of course weren’t avoided from Nick’s eager eye. He placed his cup onto the ground and took off his jacket, wrapping it around your shoulders, patting your back absentmindedly.

“You should’ve told me you were cold,” he muttered, returning to his previous seat on the swing. Letting his heels push him back and forth in the rocky spot. “A small hoodie like yours isn’t gonna keep you warm and toasty, Y/n.”

“Haa, I was fine, Dad.”

“Your papa would say the same thing, no fighting about it.”

You let out a sigh, pulling the jacket over your shoulders and covering your body. The jacket was warm and it smelled nice, like an old cologne some rich business man would wear. Chanel? No, it can’t be that, he doesn’t look the type to use it.

As you pondered the scent, sniffing and nuzzling into its confines, Nickolas redid his bun. Tying up tighter than before so as to not let it blow loosely in the wind and blind you on the way home. His golden gaze moving from the stars to you. Watching you closely as you leaned against the swing’s tether, the jacket draping over you perfectly. It brought a smile to his face seeing you so content, so relaxed in his company.

Down right cute.

“We should head home, yeah?” He said after a while of admiring the area and chatting for another hour or so. Just as the sun went down and the moon was beginning to shine in the sky, you were guided yet again to the bike at the curb after you tossed the empty boba away. Helped up onto the back seat and joined seconds later by your partner.

You reach up, patting a gentle hand on his shoulder and resting your head on it. “Thanks for taking me out, Nickolas. It really helped me.”

There was a silence as the engine came to life once more, probably the last time of the night, before Nick turned to look back at you. His near glowing golden eyes shining with glee, “Not a problem, I’m happy to help any time.”

One final push away from the park and you were back off to campus for the night, and strangely you weren’t all that nervous to see Sukuna again. He had probably left the dormitory already, leaving things clean as they were before and back in his own. Trying to catch up and maybe take space he wanted after the fiery morning the both of you shared.

If he was there, by some wild chance, you’d try and talk to him. For Yuji, of course.

After a twenty or so minute drive, Nickolas parked his bike in the same place it was before. Hoping off the bike and turning to help you off. Letting his teases get the best of him and poking fun at your messy helmet hair, patting it down and rubbing his fingers gently through the strands before linking arms with you again.

Walking the sidewalk to the girl’s dorms, Nick had to hold you up as you had begun feeling tired. That, and you just weren’t used to the amount of attention he was giving you. Making your brain go into a foggy overload and wanting a good night’s rest to process it all.

Nick was forced to take you inside, getting odd whispers from your neighbors as he sheepishly tried to explain the situation only to be teased about it. The scene looked embarrassing enough, but you were indeed just sleepy, and Nickolas was going to go home right after.

“Alright, Y/n,” He says, taking his coat from around your shoulders. “I gotta go now, so go ahead and get some sleep. Try and relax your stomach tomorrow too, it’s stuffed from all the food we had.”

“It’s only ‘cuz you’re a glutton,” You teased, standing up on your own (with the help of the wall) and fitting your key in the slot of the door lock. Looking back at him, you flashed Nickolas a toothy grin. “We should do stuff like that more often, I think you’ve made me a glutton too!”

Nickolas chuckled at this, a pink tint on his cheek as he scratched at his nape. “Oh no, I guess I have to take responsibility for you now? What a shame.”

You both parted ways, giving good nights and best wishes as you entered your dorm and he turned to the hallway. Getting teased by your nosy neighbors along the way as he got to the exit, leaving you alone in your dorm with…

Sukuna?

You had turned once inside to see a big lump of blankets and pillows, that had belonged in your room originally, on the couch. Covering a snoring, messy pink haired mass, a stuffed animal barely poking out from under a large, banded tricep. The cute bunny face and ears distorted into a strange shape under the weight of Sukuna’s arm.

“You’re still here?” You asked his sleeping form, stepping over to the couch and taking a seat next to his stomach. Gazing down at him, reaching to brush your fingers across his scalp, tickling near his nape so much that he stirred in his sleep. “I thought you’d be gone by now.”

“..I only leave when I feel like it.”

You flinch, seeing Sukuna’s dark eyes begin to open. Peering up at you from underneath his arm, tired and cold. “You were out for a long time.”

“I was with Nickolas,” You start, returning the calm stare, furrowing your brows together before looking around the living area. Taking in the mass amount of things he has strewn about: more plushies that you kept near your bed, some little doodles on paper you saved for later projects, and some blankets mixed with pillows. “I thought I said to keep my place clean.”

“It’s clean, you’re imagining shit.”

The fight from that morning returned to your mind at the snippy comment, making you clench your jaw and rub the bridge of your nose, exhaling to let out the bite back. “Still, what are you doing here? Don’t you feel better?”

“...No.”

Well that was odd.

“Do you need ibuprofen? I have some Advil, I think.”

Sukuna’s head shook, messing his hair up even more. He was looking like a giant cat that just got denied good food or a cuddle with its owner. It was kind of a sweet sight to be witnessing. You let out a strained sigh and lean back against his stomach, hearing his grunt in compliance from underneath your weight.

“Was Yuji tough on you?”

“That lil’ shit should be lucky I even gave him an ear to listen to his moaning.”

“I take it you weren’t too happy then.”

A small silence followed as you both rested on the couch. Somehow, this moment reminded you of when he needed help home. How he was dazed, barely noticing what you were doing for him until he needed a shower. The way he lifted you into his bed for the night after the both of you bickered over where you’d be staying for the night. (While you would never admit it, you did like that night’s rest.)

Sukuna noticed your smile, the way it was so perfectly crooked.

“Why did you steal all my stuffed animals?” You asked, returning your gaze down to his level.

His eyes narrowed momentarily as he decided how to answer the question. Eventually he lifted his arm and pulled the stuffed bunny from his grasp, holding it out and staring at it. Sukuna didn’t utter a word as he messed with the plush stomach of the toy, letting out a soft murmur.

“I missed.. Your smell.”

You were caught off guard, brows rising at his response. Since when did he say things like that?

As you were left to ponder on what to do with the mess, Sukuna dropped the bunny and sat up, lifting the blankets that covered him and pulling you once again into his hold. You let out a small yelp and tried to fight back, but were too tired to really push him off or yell. So, as you were wrapped up in Sukuna’s leg, arm and the comforter, you took a deep breath.

Under the weight of Sukuna’s hold, your body started to register that sleep was imminent and slowly forced you into a dazed state.

“Y/n,” Sukuna muttered as you turned into him, pressing your face into his chest, letting your hands fall between your thighs to keep warmth. You murmured out a grunt while you got comfortable. 

While your eyes had closed, your snores starting to grow, Sukuna was left awake by himself. His arms coming to wrap around you as he had the doll, nuzzling his nose into the scalp of your hair and taking a deep breath, inhaling your scent, the scent he wanted close the whole day that he thought he could sub with a plush toy.

Shameful, needy– these are things he didn’t want to be.

He breath came out in a huff, brushing against the shell of your ear. “I want to work on my math tomorrow.”

“Sure.. jus’ wake up at a decent time.”

As sleep overtook you, you could barely register what was said. The warm embrace of the man you had hated from that morning being the one thing that made you feel most at ease in your sleep. It was strong, firm; made you feel as if you were on cloud nine. 

In mere moments you were asleep, cuddling into the same arms you wanted to be away from that morning. Deep down, you were still irritated with Sukuna. You didn’t want to hear out whatever excuse he wanted to spill, if one at all. But right now, you just wanted rest.

That day was probably the most calming day leading up to the Willow Tree trip.

↞↞↞ ♡ ↠↠↠

a/n: holy shit was this a lonnnnggg time waiting and a longggg time writing!! i'm glad i'm finally getting back into the swing of things with my writing, I really hope you enjoyed reading all 8k of this chapter (longest chapter i've ever written to date!!) Seeing as it's been a while, I think my style has changed a lil so sorry it's a lil odd. anyways, thank you for the long asf wait but i hope you really liked this one! pls feel free to put suggestions in the comments and submissions! i also updated the taglist as best i could!

Chapter Song Theme: – Figure You Out -- VOILA (Lyric Video)

taglist: @mageyboo , @mzladyd , @mysticwonderlands , @sukunastoy , @sukunaspersonalfleshlight , @kawaiipenguin20 , @k-indie , @okkotsufav , @cafeinthemoon93 , @pulchritxde-blog , @bontensbunny , @deepinballs , @kleeboomed , @fiierytearzx , @wo-ming-bai , @instantgalaxysheep , @watyousayin , @z3r0art , @sukunaobsessed , @lik0 , @domainofmarie , @the-moongoddess , @dark-n-dirty-duchess , @agentdedf1sh , @sukunastoy , @lyn-soso , @bao-yu-sarah-morningstar-wang-9 , @heyitstacy , @lost-in-tokyo , @marksassybanana , @bozos-r-us , @p-3-4-ch , @misslauravillanueva , @chaoticqueen33 , @dxxny -loves-u , @l0tus-in-l0ve , @jiordeci , @opossum0-0 , @gumisgirl , @mommasbigd , @fallenlostarchives , @infinitivesearch, @t4ters, @n4muqr, @huuuhwhaat, @jiordeci, @chaeryred, @purplebee21, @hisheadismountfuji, @voyager1fan, @ichibaba, @brandydel, @berrylovesstuff, @whispersofbeskar, @dontcare1331

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[taffywabbit]

I've been thinking about this song a lot again since yesterday, and if you'll indulge me in being overly wordy and a bit sentimental, I kinda wanna share some of my thoughts here:

so I alluded to this a bit while rambling on bluesky earlier, but early in the process of composing this song I REALLY wanted it to have lyrics. I tried writing some, and having looked at them again this morning, frankly they're kinda garbage and I stand by my decision to scrap them and let the music just speak for itself. but I only really wanted to write lyrics in the first place because I got ONE specific line (and subsequently a chorus, or at least one version of it) stuck in my head and wanted the rest of the song to kinda revolve around it.

the scrapped verses were sorta loosely about how, when you're younger, you tend to have a very straightforward and simple sense of optimism and justice - kids generally believe that things WILL just work out somehow, and often have surprisingly obvious and on-point responses when they learn about societal issues, but adults will often talk down to them and tell them they just don't understand how the real world works yet. and as you get older, that optimism gets conflated heavily with childlike naivety and kinda gets metaphorically beaten out of a lot of people over time, until they're just kinda consigned to the status quo and thinking of societal problems being too large/permanent for them to fix or influence.

this song was meant to embody a sense of rebellious optimism - a stubborn belief that we have a say in the kind of world we live in, and furthermore that our inner child would never forgive us for shrugging and giving up now that we're finally Adults and Adults are supposed to be the ones with the power to actually Fix Things. it was meant to evoke some nostalgia too, sure - thus the title "Grass Stains", which came from the scrapped first verse about childhood, and also just the general musical style being reminiscent of pop punk music I really liked as a kid and still tend to associate with summertime and old video games from that era. but more than that, I wanted to convey the idea that, sooner or later, we have to stop waiting for the Adults to decide how to fix things and get a hand on the ball ourselves; the idea that growing up should empower us, not make us cynical and detached and too tired to care anymore.

anyways, I will spare you most of the unfinished lyrics because I really do promise they're not interesting or good at all, but here's the chorus part and the specific last line that I was really fixated on back then and (for reasons that are probably not hard to imagine) thinking a lot about again now:

you keep pacing

so sullenly facing

away from the task left to you

why can't you see it?

if you want hope, then be it

those gears aren't just going to move

you gotta change the world, before it changes you

so yeah. shit's rough out there right now. shit's been rough for a while and it's gonna continue being rough for the foreseeable future. like I mentioned in the original caption, i wrote this song when I was feeling pretty awful (both mentally and physically, actually - I'm pretty sure I had covid for the second time when I made this lol) and needed something to perk up my mood, and it... kinda worked honestly? and now when I listen to it again I still kinda get a boost from it, especially if I let myself think back to the original message I was trying to imbue it with. it's hard for me to feel totally hopeless or unmotivated while I'm listening to it, and I hope that energy sorta comes through for other people too (though I would obviously be just as happy that people like the music I made anyways, without deeper context or ideas attached to it).

I guess i just wanna say this: remember that the world's gonna change one way or another, but your contributions to it are never meaningless, and their absence would be felt. and you also have the power to embolden and support those around you to become a stronger force for good together. the only real way to fail in all of this is to give up and lay down and let whatever happens wash over you, to believe them when they treat you like you're too small to be a threat or a challenge. and even if you don't believe your efforts matter to anyone else, let them matter to you. if you want hope, then be it. strive to be a force for good in spite of all opposition, and that goodness will in turn continue to propel you forwards.

ok I think that's about as sappy I can stand to be, I'm going to bed lol

hey i finished a new song!! check it out!!

my prompt for starting this was essentially "i'm in a bad mood and i want to make music that'll fix that". apparently what that translated to was whatever genre "music that would make 9-year-old me think they could do a backflip off the swings at the park" is, but like... it DID cheer me up? so, mission accomplished? i hope you enjoy it too!

♫ made with OpenMPT! ✎ cover art by me!

[velvetvexations]

Please correct me If I'm wrong, but didn't Playdough's whole beef with Bechdel trying to reframe her as a TERF start originally because escentially she wanted to prove that HOMESTUCK is somehow more deep and influencial and important queer media than DTWOF?? It was a poll thing and people where getting mad that homestuck was beating dtwof (this is the homestuck website like cmon) so Playdough started there the discourse of Bechdel being a terf to discredit her work

I have no idea if homestuck is actually that queer in it's content, but this incident made me realize something very common about pretentious cult-like groups like TRF and Tankies.

They want to find the way to parrot that their interests are somehow morally superior and more correct than other's; forcemem can not be just a kink it's actually a culturally significant political practice and forcemasc is just a transmisogynist bastard copy, transfem headcanons can not be just normal fandom shit for enjoyment they are the more correct and intelectual reading an analysis of any character that doesn't adhere to strict tradicional cis gender roles and transmascs headcanons are anti intelectual media illiterate misogyny, homestuck can't be just a popular old webcomic you still like despite It's flaws (like srly It has a shit ton of racism and ableism, it was created on the era of the internet 4chan was more culturally relevant than ever in memes mostly so of course) no It's not a pillar of queerness in fiction and media and the comics created by a literal feminists trans ally buch need to somehow be morally inferior because they're both compiting in a Tumblr poll

AHAHAHAHAHAHA SHE'S STILL DOING IT TOO

I'm sorry, but imagine having this much of a grudge over your fave losing a poll lmao lmao lmao lmao this is so funny oh my God.

But it's especially hilarious because all of what she wrote about June is complete nonsense that was never part of the text. Now let's look at what she had to say about transmasc headcanons:

Welcome to projection playground, ma'am! She's literally using the idea of "legitimate analysis" just to prop up her own headcanon. This is so gutbustingly hilarious. Does she even think it's possible transmascs could have headcanons based in 'legitimate analysis'? Considering the fact that she seems to vehemently insist literally every transmasc headcanon ever is actually transfem, probably not, right? Because she doesn't understand masculinity is revolutionary and transgressive for people who weren't assigned it? Because she's a self-centered moron?

But wait, there's more!

She's so consumer-brained and she doesn't even know it.

I love that her whole personality is structured around being the world's most obnoxious Homestuck fan who uses academic language to build a comfort blanket to soothe her insecurities and lash out at others because it's gender validating if she gets to lash out at trans men the way cis women are allowed to with cis men. Except I've never seen a cis woman do it this ineptly, or so blatantly the product of issues they desperately need to work out.

Anyway, back to Bechdel...

I know I've been ranting about this subject in a general, undirected way all morning, but I'm going to tell you that this is a problem with Plaidos, specifically, which she passes on to her audience:

They don't know what TERFs are.

A TERF has defined political views. There is a lot going on with them. You cannot take one belief or action in particular, such as Bechdel softly supporting some sex-segregated spaces, and call her a TERF when she's praxis in much bigger, material ways. It's not just about Homestuck with Plaidos, or TERFs in general. It's also about the fact that Bechdel ever did anything that had anything to do with the idea that some people are more wymynly than them, which they take personal offense to that overshadows, oh, I don't know, loud and consistent advocacy for children having access to HRT? Any real transfeminist would recognize that matters infinitely more. But with these people, that's not the issue. They don't care about anything but how badly it hurt them to hypothetically not be welcome to a shitty music festival, and Bechdel having went - even if she criticized it's policies - is basically the same as having flaunted her gender assignment to intentionally make them dysphoric.

But Bechdel supports minors getting HRT. She supports them being in women's bathrooms. A lot of TERFs have identical conversations about her.

So what makes her a TERF? Because she went to a party you weren't invited to?

Do you understand how pathetic this makes you look?

It's gross and TERF-y to say trans women as a category are jealous of people AFAB on some level but when you prioritize like this where being let into the club is the one big all-consuming deal over things like Bechdel repeatedly going to bat for minors having HRT, and they obsessively treat trans men the way they do...

Like, listen. TRFs. My friends. You're women. I promise you you're Trve Wymyn. Please get over not having been AFAB. Come to peace with it and accept that people who got what you want are on your side and are happy to support you in being recognized as a woman in spite of what was on your birth certificate. Get over it.

Just get over it.

And also get over your transfem headcanons not being any more textually supported than transmasc headcanons, losers. You're so obviously the ones addicted to seeing yourself reflected in every piece of media you consume if you have to write essays about how it's bad literary analysis to not believe in your strings-on-a-thumbtack-board shit and run down anyone else having headcanons related to their identity. You're not doing literary analysis, you're playing pretend with cartoons for children and getting upset when you see other people having their own fun without you.

One last thing:

EXTREMELY holy shit racist. Do you see what I mean? How TRFs care so much about slights to their Trve Wymynhood over all else that they say shit like this? Like yeah Michfest was basically the KKK, you're right, unimaginably stupid White woman. Remember when Lisa Vogel hung all those trans women to warn us not to vote?

[sillygoofyqueer]

According to The thought experiment: What would happen if humans grew wings? from BBC Science Focus Magazine, humans would have very large chests if they had wings since wings are dependant on the pectoral muscles and our chests as they are simply wouldn't be enough to support them, the images showed humans with wings for arms rather than wings on their backs like we usually think of for Crowyuan but I'm assuming it would have the same effect. Assuming Crowyuan looks like a feathery human like the fanart you've received of him, do you think he would have this? Or would PIDW logic tone it down to just having a large chest in a Mobei-Jun way? Do you think that crow demons would simply be far better equipped to handle wings despite looking mostly human because Airplane Wrote It? Or would the system put more of our world's logic into place to fill in plot holes? I'd be surprised if Bingge didn't have a crow demon wife mixed somewhere in the harem, what if Airplane read that wings are dependant on pectoral muscles and ran with it to give her massive boobs?

Firstly, I showed this to my non-danmei reading friend and two quotes I'd like to share from her are "why are your followers doing scientific research into this?" (Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy?) and pronouncing 'Bingge' as 'binge' which just made me cackle for at least a minute after I realised who she was talking about.

Anyway, onto actually answering this bad boy!!!

Okay so, first, there is a (possible) variation of Crowyuan that would have wings for arms which is Harpy-Crowyuan, but just in general I really really love the idea of Crowyuan having quite a large chest in order to accommodate his wings, and I like to think that it stems from an angry rant Shen Yuan had in Airplane's comments after a chapter introducing the crow demons. Airplane actually responded being like ".....soooo.... they've all got huge boobs?" (<- freak for that shit <3) - this led to another angry rampage, but Airplane was already gone with the wind.

Unlike Mobei Jun's chest, which I do believe have a bit of give considering that Airplane thinks about *clears throat* burying his face into them and *clears throat louder* squish them, Crowyuan's chest would be ALL muscle. There's not a single bit of squish to those fuckers, they are (for lack of better phrasing) rock hard. He wears baggier robes (not too baggy, he's still a scholar 😌) not to hide them but to accommodate for them as well as his wings (he just has two huge slits in the back of all of his robes which I think is so silly).

Crowyuan is well aware of why his chest is big but he also specifically remembers Airplane's comment when he talked about it furiously in one of his comments and is often muttering to himself like "I cannot believe this is what he did with scientific information" when trying to dress himself with clothes that have not been tailored for his HUGE TI- pecs. His. Pecs.

[cwritesfiction]

Writeblr Engagement Posts!

For the past year or so, I posted weekly "share an excerpt" prompts that encouraged people to share writing (ex: "Share an excerpt where a character makes a bad decision!") I stopped when my queue ran out because my life went off the rails, but engagement had dipped anyway.

I'd like to start something again because this type of thing is fun (and it's also my not-so-secret way of creating a weekly list of writing to read.) I wrote some options below - let me know which you think you'd enjoy!

If you're not sure what the "share an excerpt" prompts looked like, you can find the tag here: Share an Excerpt Tag. (Also, these posts weren't time-specific! You're always welcome to reblog them!)

(If it's not clear, option 1 would be going back to the posts the way they were before.)

[ann-atar]

Hi @serailovesbagelsetc no, I wasn't replying to something you specifically said. I addressed the other two people who posted directly with my reply.

When I looked at the original post and the replies I skimmed yours and noticed that you apologized several times and said something about frustration coming out as verbal vomit, so I didn't read what you wrote.

Sometimes our posts can come out as "verbal vomit," and there are definitely pros and cons to that approach to engaging with people online. I find sometimes it's best to get all of that out -- vent your feelings like you did above -- and then take a beat, reread what was written, and then edit for length, edit out some of the frustration, break up points or ideas into paragraphs, do some checks for grammar and so things make sense, and then post or reply. I think doing those things helps us feel better about what we've written, and it makes our posts easier for others to engage with.

I hope that helps/makes sense, and I don't want to co-op this post any more (thanks op for your patience) so feel free to send me an ask or post and reply to me directly.

It’s fascinating that TROP has shown Galadriel's instincts and intuition to consistently be sound and accurate. Time and time again, her insights bear out in reality.

She knew Sauron was alive

She knew his mark had greater significance

She knew where his shadow was rising

She sensed that Halbrand was not who he said he was (from the very beginning in fact)

She knew Elrond had gone to Cirdan

She knew the Three Rings would save the elves

She knew that Sauron wanted Adar to attack Eregion.

So why would that intuition fail her when it comes to Sauron? Not just that she knows his mind, his schemes and his malice but also when he was earnest, when he was broken and when they felt “it” fighting side by side. Something within him rang true and clear to Galadriel. Something she couldn’t deny. As this post by @cloudinthesky444 describes, their connection, as effortless and spontaneous as it was, possessed a rightness to it. She felt its authenticity. At one point, she trusted him, respected him and may have even loved him. I don't think that was a blind spot. I don't think she could have even allowed herself to feel love for him if that rightness had not been there. That sense of completion and of being seen and understood. It enticed not just her vanity and her pride, but her fea. His music and hers, not in cacophony but in harmony. Remember, she held the palantir. It showed her visions of Numenor's end. But it never revealed or hinted at the potential dark Maia that was standing right there as her ally. I think it was because Halbrand's regression to Sauron was not yet fated to happen. That path was still undefined. Even though Halbrand was a disguise, it was not an illusion. There was such a small window but I believe that Gal's intuition was always on point. Halbrand was devoted to her. Sauron believed in her as she did him. Galadriel once had aspirations of reclaiming Middle Earth from the darkness with Halbrand at her side. She wasn't foolish to believe so. If her instincts had allowed her to aspire to such dreams, then I think there was a real possibility of that future, however fleeting. Now that door is shut, but there were seeds of a hopeful future and they were planted with love and in good faith. I believe that as the story moves forward, their bond will bear fruit. Something beautiful and good will be borne of it, specifically from that small moment of time -- when Galadriel loved him and aspired to redeem them both. I think Galadriel's instincts and good faith will be repaid and she will be vindicated again.

[zsakuva]

Hi Saku!

Do you have the names for the other gods of the Ten as well as their "thing" (like Uteus' Day of Wisdom, Eva's Day of Love etc.)?

Also, do you think you'll incorporate some sort of lantern festival for one of the holidays? Similar to the movie Tangled, kind of? Where the lighting of lanterns symbolises something for a specific holiday. Like on Uteus' Day you write on ribbons and burn it when you carry out the thing you wrote on it, but on a different holiday you light lanterns maybe.

Last one. Do you have any ideas for specific traditions/activities to do on any of the other holidays, like the ribbon thing?

Yes I do (I have a mini-thought about this below).

I'm not sure.

Nope. For once, I'm worldbuilding as needed instead of going off the rails with it like I tend to for my own world. I need limitations haha.

This question does make me wonder how much lore the community would like access to regarding a specific audio world or character. It's impossible for you to know everything, and you only see the tip of the iceberg.

Much more is written beneath this as a foundation to support whatever lore I make, and it's likely that you won't know it all unless it's stated in an audio or by me.

That's the main reason why I added subtitles to the latest TNT episode: as I've fleshed out much more of the land, there will be names and locations you wouldn't know, and I think the subtitles make it easier to follow along.

But I keep a lot of lore to myself with ongoing stories because I don't know if I'll use it in future episodes. I love seeing you all piece together the puzzle, but in many circumstances, you'll never have the full picture.

Let me know your own thoughts!

[plaidos]

so I will say, I started being in the Homestuck fandom around, like, 2010? 2011? and to be honest, after they started getting popular, I was really unimpressed with the transfem Roxy headcanons at the time, mostly because it was all young teens, and most of them were TMEs, and this all led to this nonsense fuckin thing where theyfabs with yaoi addictions would scream about "omgggg she programs!111! and shes a catgirl!!!111 just like TRANS GIRLS xDDD smol cinnamon roll too pure for this world" bullshit, and it really soured me on the whole deal. she got hit with some really disgusting sexualization at the time that was directly the product of TMEs screeching about what a perfect representation of trans women she was, like they could not just be fucking normal about any of it, and I grew to associate transfem Roxy headcanons with the kind of people who'd screech and cry about me getting bottom surgery and not being their perfect programmer dickgirl anymore. that said, I also didn't like the transmasc Roxy confirmation in the Epilogues because, like you said, it felt super transmisogynistic and reactionary toward that (although I didn't know it was actually confirmed a transmisogynist wrote it on purpose to aggress transfem fans, that's nuts??? This fucking comic I swear.) anyway the whole thing kinda makes me wish they just left her as-is and focused the trans lens in tighter on June and Vriska, because like. come on. their stories are way better anyway, having been planned from the beginning.

nah here’s where i’ve gotta disagree with you slightly anon — my (obvious) problems with transmasc Roxy aside, i stand by the fact that the transmasc stpry we got about Roxy in the Epilogues was legitimately compelling, and after the bitterness of a favorite reading of mine being destroyed had passed I really enjoyed the split canon reflection on Roxy’s identity & i think it has some legitimately really interesting things to say; it’s particularly a good usage of classpect in the Epilogues, and i think the stuff they do with Dirk being transphobic is genuinely worth it.

almost every single major character from Homestuck proper who returns significantly in THE/HSBC needed to have their character “wrecked” in comparison to the original; it is fundamentally what the story is about. i think the majority of fans of specific characters were disappointed with where those characters’ stories were taken specifically because they had incredibly fannish understandings of what that might look like in an epilogue, and The Homestuck Epilogues/Beyond Canon are intentionally subverting the dichotomy between the sugary-sweet fannish “candy” interpretations & the gross-n-gritty “meat” interpretations, like that’s The Whole Point.

also, correcting you: all i heard is that somebody who historically had problems with transfem headcanons spearheaded the transmasc Roxy changes. i think it’s a bit of a stretch to say that that person legitimately did that to intentionally hurt transfems, even if we can agree that it was transmisogynistically loaded & eyerolly regardless

[what-even-is-thiss]

I have a writing ask for you: I find myself feeling very stubborn about conveying certain details sometimes even if they might not be very important and cannot be pointed out smoothly. Not all, but some.

How does one learn or come to accept letting go of these? Is there even such a thing? How do I not care when I do, really, no matter how petty or small? How can I communicate my vision the clearest as naturally and to as many people as possible?

Perhaps this is really specific from detail to detail, but I have too many examples in mind to pick together a coherent banquet. This ask is already getting rambly as is.

My current tactic really is to spread the mention of specific details to make it feel more natural like putting medecine in an animal’s food, but this doesn’t feel like a sufficient enough way to deal with it. What if my story is not long enough for it?

I can deal with people being wrong about something I didn’t write, because at the end of the day I do not 100% know every single intention, but the idea of a significant percentage of people being wrong about something *I* wrote personally, bothers me alot more. Even though this distant personally uninvolved audiance of a high caliber is not really a reality for me currently.

I mean hell, the length of this ask probably already tells you that I am struggling to convey a rather simple problem, and this is a trimmed down version. I feel as if I can never guess properly enough how most people will interpreet my words to a satisfactory degree so I need to clarify which gets lengthy.

The first thing you need to accept as a writer is that you have absolutely no control over how people interpret your work and even if you think you’ve made your meaning as clear as possible it still won’t 100% mean the same thing to your readers as it does to you.

The next thing is that you can turn basically anything into a quirk of your writing style.

Maybe you’re just the sort of writer that goes off on paragraphs long tangents about a bird off in the corner before returning to the plot. Or maybe you just need to write what you’re gonna write and cut out the bits you don’t need later.

I have the opposite problem where I often don’t write enough and end up having to add more back in later. We’ve all got our processes. And to a certain extent finding what your process is requires some trial and error. But if you obsess over how people are going to interpret you then you’ll never allow yourself the freedom you need to figure out your style.

[ryuichirou]

I know you don’t write anything with Yuu/OCs, they’re included but not as the main. Sorta a warning.

how do you think the boys would react to a partner (Yuu/oc/other canon character) who DOESN’T masturbate or watch porn? Given that it’s slightly agreed upon that boys in an all boys school is absolutely getting off, what’s the reaction to the like one guy who isn’t?

I’ll also add another note, the partner isn’t ace or lacking sexual attraction, they just choose to not do that.

Guess what, a hc post today!

This ask is insanely old, one of the oldest ones that are currently in our askbox, and I really wonder if the person who asked it is still here, but if they are: thank you for being patient, for asking and for enjoying our stuff. I am sorry it took this long, and sorry to everyone else who’s been waiting for months…

But enough of me apologising, let’s talk about this ask! As you already mentioned, we don’t really do Yuu/OC stuff, so I wrote in a way that was easier for me: by mentioning our specific ships. I hope that’s okay with you.

And just like you stated, the person in question isn’t ace, so I am not touching this particular aspect at all in this post.

Anyways, let’s roll…

Riddle – obviously, he isn’t surprised, in fact ,he is almost offended that it’s presented like it’s a big and shocking thing. This is just the right thing to do to him – why would anyone want to masturbate or watch porn anyway? Why would anyone desire physical intimacy until marriage? Sounds highly inappropriate to him! I feel like Riddle would probably get shocked if he heard that his potential partner does masturbate or watch porn… especially if it’s someone he has some respect for, like Trey, for example.

Ace – “Yeah, right! … Wait, for real?” type of reaction lol I feel like he is someone who would instantly start asking a lot of questions, trying to figure out why wouldn’t someone who doesn’t lack sexual attraction watch porn or jerk off. He would instantly start teasing, egging his partner on; if he is feeling especially douchey, he might even tell everyone about it. Is it because he himself watches so much porn that this is the only way he can process not wanting to watch it? Maybe. Anyway, he broke Deuce’s “no watching porn and no jerking off” streak once like this. If it’s serious though, he might accept it after a certain point. Not with Deuce though, he can’t let Deuce feel like he’s better than him…

Deuce – surprised, but also a little embarrassed about himself. He would feel like this is very inspiring, but also very humbling – he could never manage to not masturbate for longer than a couple of days… He is a mix of insecurity and supportiveness. If someone like Jack states that he doesn’t do such things, Deuce would feel such a strong urge to also stop doing that, even if he isn’t asked to, just because it feels weird to do it when his partner doesn’t. It’s like it’s cheating somehow if only one of them does it. He is a bit of a mess… very conflicted young man that overthinks it a lot.

Trey – if it’s someone like Riddle, he’s not surprised at all. A tiiiiny little bit concerned, but not surprised: he is actually smart enough to know that it’s not absolutely mandatory to masturbate or watch porn to even be healthy, but for some reason he also frames it as “well those people are special/their own kind, I’m just a normal guy” in his head.

Cater – his reaction would be similar to Ace’s, but he wouldn’t be as much of a douche about it. When Ace starts asking questions, it’s obvious that even though he is shocked, he is kind of mocking or at least teasing, but Cater has more curiosity…or is it nosiness?? Anyway, he could get somewhat obnoxious about it, but he isn’t super close with anyone to the point of having an actual opinion. To each their own?? I guess.

Leona – he couldn’t care less; as someone who is too lazy to jerk off a lot of times, he isn’t completely shocked that there are people who aren’t into it. He would get sooomewhat surprised if it’s someone from his own dorm though, like Jack or Ruggie; he might tease the latter a little bit for that. What, are you storing sperm now? Are you planning on donating it later? But nothing more than that.

Ruggie – he does think that every single guy in NRC jerks off every now and then, so he would be mildly surprised to hear that someone doesn’t, and probably won’t believe them anyway lol But it’s not like he would care much. Even if it’s his partner, it’s none of his business, but if it’s Leona we’re talking about, Ruggie would think that he is just trying to stay pent up until they have sex… or that he is that lazy that even jerking his wiener is too much work for him at this point.

Jack – his reaction would be somewhat similar to Deuce’s; he would probably be slightly surprised, but then impressed, and then somewhat embarrassed of himself. It really might urge him to stop masturbating himself; he already isn’t a huge fan of himself doing that, but his body is too demanding and causes him problems if he doesn’t jerk off every now and then… I guess that would make him want to have sex more often lol If Jack and Deuce decided to stop masturbating together, they’ll just end up hooking up endlessly.

Azul – he isn’t super into sex or masturbation, so he wouldn’t think it’s a big deal, UNLESS he really wants to use it as a leverage. For example, he might be a little bummed out that Jamil isn’t really interested in those things because now he can’t really use it against him…which is a bit messed up thing to even consider about your partner lol In general though, it’s even better for him if his partner doesn’t masturbate. He gets jealous and he is very controlling, so I can see him as the type to get kind of pissy that his partner masturbates… he is lucky that neither Jamil nor Idia really do that all that much…

Jade – it depends. In general, he really doesn’t care, so if it’s never mentioned, he won’t even think about it. But if his partner makes a point about it, then Jade is going to get interested. For example, if Idia states that he doesn’t really watch hentai for anything other than artistic value and doesn’t jerk off, that would automatically make Jade want to make him want to masturbate somehow. Maybe with cunningness, maybe with mushrooms, but he really wants to see what it takes to make that person reconsider, just because it sounds like a taunting, I mean challenge.

Floyd – same thing, but with a bit of a different flavour. Of course he’s going to want to make someone like Riddle (who is very righteous and principled about not masturbating) jerk off, of course he is going to bully him into that, of course he is going to have fun with it. It’s not like he cares all that much, but if it comes from a place of insecurity and he can sense that, he is going to take advantage of that.

Kalim – somehow… Kalim feels too wholesome to care. I think he is one of the people who would just think that it means that he and his partner would get to spend more time having fun together!! <3 Maybe it’s difficult to talk about Kalim because we only ship him with Jamil, and their situation is too unique… does he even think of Jamil as of someone who would masturbate? Does Kalim even think about those things at all?

Jamil – similarly to Kalim, he would think that no masturbation = more sex, but unlike Kalim, he would hate that lol For some reason, Jamil’s potential partners are all clingy and annoying, so he actually wouldn’t mind at all if someone like Kalim or Azul left him alone for a change and jerked off in their respective rooms. He might even encourage that, maybe even while acting all sweet and caring, secretly hoping that he would get some “me time” in return. He is such a good boyfriend, that Jamil <3

VIl – he respects personal choices like that, and he always tries to be very mature about it. He might get concerned if it’s with someone like Rook because Vil knows how he gets when he is pent up… but he would never really judge anyone for not masturbating or not watching porn. He would be very pleasantly tickled if his lover who doesn’t masturbate jerked off on his pictures though…

Rook – he wouldn’t get surprised because chances are, he is already aware lol He also doesn’t judge, and he finds abstinence to be romantic and poetic, even if it’s just a matter of “I’m not feeling it”. But he is also a strong believer of accumulating lust until the actual rendezvous. He and Vil are similar in this regard… but if it’s someone like Idia, who, once again, just doesn’t want to masturbate, I can see Rook being incredibly (sickly) sweet about it, which would still feel creepy somehow.

Epel – while hearing that from someone like Floyd and Rook would surprise him on many many many levels, even if he hears that from anyone else it would be somewhat surprising. He started jerking off even before he discovered porn… so not wanting to do that at all feels strange to him. He won’t make a big deal about it, but he might suddenly remember about it and ask questions similar to “but why?” or “not at all???” every now and then.

Idia – he believes that dating is overrated, sex is overrated, masturbation is overrated, but also Idia is still a gooner at heart, so abstinence from porn would probably prompt a discussion about how eroge and hentai are actually art and should be appreciated no matter what. Just in case. That being said, he doesn’t care about his partner not masturbating, until he remembers that the majority of his partner options are super horny guys, so them not masturbating for any reason would only mean that he is going to get more heat from them. Please feel free to jerk off more! It’s good for you! It really is!

Ortho – he also wouldn’t be surprised… but he will act surprised! He will play this “whaat, but don’t all boys masturbate???” card, even though he knows that it’s not true. He just really, really wanted to say this line, okay? Anyways, he’ll only comment on that if he feels like his partner’s vitals show that he needs to jerk off asap! But he’ll suggest his help in that case anyway~

Lilia – he should know better with how old he is and how many kinds of boys he’d seen, but he would still get surprised. The all-boys school setting is such a classic to him, and he knows that even the most pure and chaste ones still have dirty thoughts every now and then… Similarly to some other guys, he’ll play it as “aww, you can’t do it without me? It’s okay, I knew you’d get lonely <3”…

Silver – this boy doesn’t get why he should be surprised, so he probably wouldn’t be, but I have an inkling that he might say that the person should do it every now and then because otherwise you’d get sick. Where did he learn it from? Lilia, of course. But then he’d go “ah, but if we’re doing it anyway, it shouldn’t be a problem”. Where did he learn that from? Lilia again, of course.

Sebek – another one who would fully consider it a norm, but once again there is some nuance depending on who we’re talking about. If it’s Silver, then it’s “Of course you don’t, that would be disgraceful!”, while secretly seething a little bit because now he feels like Silver has the upper hand between the two of them, because Sebek himself is having a hard time holding back sometimes… And if it’s Malleus, then it’s “Of course my liege wouldn’t!! <3” but also simultaneously getting extremely embarrassed because now he can’t help but think about Malleus doing things to himself… If it’s someone like Idia though, he might actually gain some respect towards him because of that. Sebek’s mind works in interesting ways lol

Malleus – I don’t think he would care that much, frankly. It’s not like he is super into masturbating or watching porn himself, but he also is aware that this is something that is natural and expected – Lilia has taught him that. So he could be miiiildly surprised, but ultimately it just means that he and his partner would be more pent up when they’re together, right? At least in Malleus’ head, and that feels like a very good thing~ If it’s someone like Sebek though, I feel like Malleus would think that it would be beneficial for Sebek to masturbate every now and then – this boy is too pent up.

[onehundredelevven]

FINALLY REMEMBERED AN I IDEA FOR A FIC I HAD HELLOOO

okay so a fanfic inspired by the song Terrified by Childish Gambino with a gender neutral or male reader (plsplsplspls need more male reader) specifically these lyrics:

Do you misbehave?

Haunt you to your grave

I′m going to eat you alive

Please don't find me rude

But I don't eat fast food

So don′t run to me, baby

I NEED SUGURU SOOO BAD PUHLEASE or any jjk man you think would fit the fic y'know 😋 interpret the lyrics however you want !

Here u goon !! I chose Geto cuz why nottt. And idk if I actually got the interpretation of the song, I think I wrote this too vaguely(and boring)😭😭😭

☆☆☆

Misbehave.

The moon was full and heavy in the sky, casting a pale glow over the large temple grounds. The chill of the night bit at your skin as you stood just outside Suguru’s private quarters. The air felt thick, almost suffocating, as though the very walls of this place knew you didn’t belong here.

You shouldn’t have come.

But Suguru had called you—no, summoned you—with a simple message delivered through one of his devout followers: “Come to me. Tonight.” And like the fool you were, you had obeyed, unable to ignore the magnetic pull he seemed to have over you.

Now, standing before the sliding doors, you hesitated. The distant hum of insects filled the air, but the temple felt too quiet, like the calm before a storm.

Before you could knock or announce your presence, the door slid open with a soft shhk. Suguru stood on the other side, dressed in dark robes that hung loosely around his shoulders. His hair, long and dark, framed his sharp features in a way that made your breath hitch. But it wasn’t just his appearance—it was the way his gaze bore into you, heavy and knowing, as though he’d been expecting you to hesitate.

“You’re late,” he said, his tone light but tinged with amusement.

“I—” you started, but the words caught in your throat as he stepped aside, gesturing for you to enter.

Once inside, the door slid shut behind you with a finality that made your stomach twist. The room was dimly lit by a single candle on the far side.

“You’re nervous,” Suguru noted, his voice low and smooth as he approached you. “Good. You should be.”

Your pulse quickened, and you took a step back, but his hand shot out, catching your wrist. His touch was firm but not painful, just enough to stop you in your tracks.

“Do you know why I called you here?” he asked, tilting his head slightly.

You swallowed hard, shaking your head.

His lips curled into a smirk, and he leaned in closer, his breath ghosting against your ear. “Because I wanted to see if you’d come running to me like a good little pet. And here you are.”

You froze, his words sending a jolt of something—fear, excitement, maybe both—through your body. His grip on your wrist loosened, but he didn’t let go entirely. Instead, he guided your hand upward, pressing your palm against his chest.

“I’m too possessive to play nice,” he murmured, his voice dripping with something dangerous. “Too selfish to share. And too obsessed to let you go.”

You stared at him, your heart hammering in your chest as his eyes darkened, glinting with a predatory light.

“I don’t like things that come easy,” Suguru continued, his free hand trailing up your arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake. “I like a little fight. A little chase.”

Your breath hitched as his hand moved to your chin, tilting your head up so you were forced to meet his gaze. “But now that I’ve caught you, what should I do with you?"

His words hung in the air, heavy and suffocating. You tried to pull away, but his grip tightened just enough to remind you that you weren’t going anywhere unless he allowed it.

“Don’t run,” he purred, his lips brushing the corner of your mouth in a ghost of a kiss. “I don’t like fast food. I like to savor every bite.”

The candlelight flickered, and for a moment, you swore you saw something darker lurking in his eyes.

“You’re mine,” he said, his voice low and dangerous, each word sinking into your skin like a brand. “I’ll haunt you to your grave if I have to, but you’ll never be free of me. Do you understand that?”

You nodded, your voice lost to the weight of his presence.

Suguru smiled, but there was no warmth in it—only possession, only hunger.

“Good,” he said, his thumb brushing over your lower lip. “Now, be good for me and don’t misbehave. Unless…” His grin widened, a glint of wicked amusement in his eyes. “...you want to give me a reason to punish you.”

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

I read this comment on another site which listed all the different sources credited in the article and gathered all the different things they said and guessed who the source might be

For example, the one who took a swipe at Kate’s Early Years, referred to as “a source familiar with the couple” might be Omid, which makes so much sense that he would be the one to bring up Kate and that usual Sussex narrative about the Early Years. This source also defends Meghan using the titles and right to have a piece of the empire for herself

The one who said they’re “so hot for each other”, referred to as someone who worked closely with the couple” and “loves them”, might be someone like Mindy Kaling. This is also the source who said he doesn’t know Harry’s interests outside of polo, so it makes sense if this source is a celebrity acquaintance who knows them from a distance like that but also close enough that they see them in a situation where they would be looking at each other lovingly. If this article was supposed to be published close to the release of With Love, Meghan, it does make sense the writer would talk to Mindy

The royal reporter source might be Ellie Hall. This source said Harry was basically “abandoned at age 8”. It’s curious that this source said age 8 and not even 12 when Diana died, so they’re probably talking about boarding school and that kind of negative narrative about boarding school does sound like it would come from an American millennial who disdains things they think the old posh people do

We should be careful about attributing anonymous sources to specific individuals. It is fun to guess and speculate but be careful. A lot of people believe everything they read on the internet to be true and especially where the Sussexes are concerned, there's a lot of 'let's jam this square peg into a round hole' when it comes to substantiating rumors and beliefs. (Yes, I know that's rich coming from me.)

I do agree the Kate swipe source is probably Scobie because he wrote a very similar critque in February 2023. I don't think Mindy and Ellie are right for the other two quotes cited. I think Abigail Spencer is more likely for #2 as she went to a polo match with Meghan, never seems to be around Harry (while Mindy made an appearance with Harry once) and is also in the Netflix show. For #3, I don't think of Ellie Hall as a royal reporter. I'm thinking it's Bryony Gordon, who clearly has a lot of sympathy for Harry as she's actually visited him in California.