#they would've had a field day watching the game together

[starkholme]

Cowboys lesbian x Seahawks bisexual

[mydearzero]

Prey | Professor!Spencer Reid x Reader

MASTERLIST

PART 2

18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Summary: You were determined to stay collected and have your professor make the first move. To make him believe he's the one desperate for you. He's onto you though. He knows what you want, what you need. And he's going to give it to you.

Warnings: Professor!Spencer, fem!Reader, Teacher/student relationship, age gap, smut, unprotected sex, penetrative sex (p in v), NO Y/N, fingering, praise kink, degradation, dacryphilia, humiliation, semi-public sex, rough sex, creampie, choking, aftercare. If I missed any warnings please tell me!

3.9K words

Criminology wasn't the first class you'd voluntarily take. It was interesting enough, really. But not at all necessary for your degree. 

You loved true crime as much as the next college-aged girl. That's what your excuse would be, at least, when people would inevitably ask why the hell you signed up for the class. But the real reason? 

You'd seen him on campus a couple times, only a semester ago. His jagged yet put-together exterior intrigued you. His eyes met yours, if only for a split second. He was perceptive. Very perceptive.

The third time you saw him meeting with the dean, you knew you were hooked. You felt yourself mouth the syllables of his name. Heard the sound falling off your lips in a whispered tone as you overheard him introduce himself to the Criminal Law professor. 

Doctor Spencer Reid. 

You'd done your research, as any self-respecting student would. He was an FBI agent working for the Behavioral Analysis Unit. He was a proper genius with several degrees under his belt, even when he was your age. 

He wasn't anymore, your age.

A notice got posted on the college's website a few days after your last sighting. Doctor Spencer Reid of the FBI would teach several seminars this semester, with voluntary attendance and limited availability. 

You signed up in a heartbeat. You told yourself it was because he was an enigma, a puzzle for you to solve. His posture, eyes and even how he spoke screamed 'Solve me!' You, someone notorious for your ability to read people, couldn't figure him out. It frustrated you. Everything about him invited you to try and peel back the layers to let you see inside. 

Were you maybe a tad too obsessed with the man without ever having spoken to him? Obviously, but you couldn't help yourself. You loved a good mystery. And this was one gorgeous mystery. 

You tried to be deliberate about everything when you entered the first seminar. Don't spare the professor a second glance, but be genuinely interested. Don't hang off every word falling from his lips but raise your hand often enough to appear engaged. You wanted him to be the one to notice you first, even if it was anything but the truth. 

But Professor Reid was a professor in his field for a good reason. He caught your calculated gaze a few times. Watched as you schooled your expression to perfection. Spencer had to admit, you were good. But he was better. He noticed how your stare dropped to his hands as he moved them while speaking. Noticed how the pattern of your breathing was unnatural. If his hearing was superhuman, he would've heard your heart beat irregularly. 

You could seek control of the situation as much as you wanted, but your body would betray you time and time again. Spencer thrived in this little cat-and-mouse game you'd tried to set him up for. He knew you'd convinced yourself you were the cat, calculated, ready to pounce. He smiled to himself at the comparison. If only you knew you were the mouse in this situation, insignificant and small under his watchful eye. Something for him to feast on.

He'd seen you that day; the first time he was on campus. Captured your observant eye with amusement simmering in his mind. He knew who you were, and why you were here, the second you walked into the classroom. You'd tried to appear confident, sure of yourself, by walking to a spot near the front without sparing anybody around you a second glance. But Spencer saw it for what it was. A nervous but powerful stride of a girl begging for a grain of validation. 

It had been brought to his attention that several girls in the class were only auditing, but not you. You were here for the real deal. You were committed to figuring him out. He could see it in the way your eyes raked over his body, reading his body language with every syllable spoken. You were genuinely interested in the subject matter, even if it was only to listen to him explain it.

He was flattered, really. Although your interest in the professor might've started as superficial as the other girls', he could see himself in the way you lost yourself in the infatuation. It wasn't just his looks that pulled you into his orbit. You were intrinsically aware of the grief, trauma and heartache he'd built up over the years. You were dying to be a part of the gravity that shaped him. 

He could see how you had the power to mould people when you had your claws in them. Though, he wasn't sure it was a conscious ability you possessed. Maybe it was just who you were. You had a need for control in every sense of the word. And God, did he want to take it away from you. 

If he didn't know any better, he'd be afraid you'd commit a string of murders if only it meant he would have to read into it. Consider every detail of the crime scene so he'd have to figure you out. It was admirable; your passion for complete dominance. But you couldn't fool Spencer. 

He saw the way you crossed your arms, bit the skin on your lips until they bled, and picked at the skin around your nails, not quite bringing them up to your mouth to bite them, knowing it would convey insecurity. You were an insecure little girl, convincing yourself of the opposite. 

Your need to understand him and domineer every situation was likely a defence mechanism, but he couldn't judge. Not when your little game got him right where you wanted him. Spencer had to applaud your dedication. The anticipation kept him on his toes every time he set foot on campus. He knew you wanted him to break, to make the first move, and he just might have to if he wanted to rid himself of the everlasting tension that seemed to have taken over his body. 

Fine. Spencer would play your little game if that's what you wanted. 

He saw you getting more confident, convinced he was falling into your trap the second he gave in. How the corners of your lips curled up ever so slightly when his gaze lingered on them. You were so caught up in your success that you failed to notice every action was premeditated on his part. It was only inevitable your eyes would light up with glee and triumph when he requested you to meet him in his office after class. 

You knocked on his door tentatively, trying to slow your racing heart. 

"Come in." Spencer's voice carried through the door. You turned the handle and stepped inside the dimly lit office. 

"You wanted to see me, Professor Reid?" You spoke as your hand lingered on the door, a calculated move to come across as unsure. It was a complete 180 of your usual behaviour in class, but it was a surefire way to let him let you in. You were no threat. 

If only you knew how true that was. 

"Yes, close the door and have a seat, please." Spencer motioned to the chair across from him. You nodded and closed the door quietly before pulling the chair out and sitting down. 

"I would like to discuss your paper with you if you don't mind." Spencer held up the printed copy he insisted everybody hand in. You scoffed when you read the specifications of the assignment. Figures he'd be old school. 

"That's fine. Is there something wrong, Professor?" You batted your eyelashes the way you knew no man could resist. The act of the meek, helpless deer. 

"There's nothing wrong with it, necessarily. I would simply like to discuss the subject matter with you. You sure picked an interesting topic." Spencer leaned against the back of his chair and interlocked his fingers as he saw you smile. 

"What can I say? Your job intrigued me. Though, as I'm sure you could tell from my essay, I can't say I completely agree with the logic behind it." You gave him a small smile to let him know you weren't antagonising but stood behind your choices. 

"Some critiques definitely can be taken into account. But it's been proven time and time again, with every case we solve through behavioural analysis, that the science and logic behind it work. Sure, we can be wrong, even way off. But it's a rare occasion." His eyebrows raised in challenge as he spoke. A small smile threatened to appear on his face as he awaited your answer.

You squinted at his apparent amusement. He wasn't taking you seriously. He knew he'd cracked you when your facade dropped. You looked genuinely offended at his lack of interest in your opinion. He almost wanted to laugh at how easy it turned out to be, to get you to drop the act. 

"Don't look so smug, Professor. It's not a good look on you." You jabbed. You cursed at yourself. That wasn't an argument. You crossed your arms as you leaned back in the chair, never breaking eye contact. 

"I must say, I'm kind of disappointed in you. You seemed to have a great grasp on the subject matter while in class, yet you failed one of the biggest requirements of the assignment." 

You frowned at his words, genuinely confused. You egged him to continue talking. 

"You see, the main requirement was to stay objective. This essay was anything but. I guess I misjudged you. I assumed you were above letting your personal opinions and vendettas get in the way of your academics. Apparently not." Spencer tsked. He was taunting you. 

"How was my essay subjective?" You asked. The more you thought back to it, the more you realized how tainted the words on the pages in his hands were by your disdain for your attraction to him. 

You hated him for making you feel the way you did, and you hadn't even realized it until now. 

"I expected factual work. The only fact I can get from this essay is that you're driving yourself crazy with how much you want me to fuck you." 

You gaped at his vulgar words. 

Hook.

"Don't look so scandalized. You knew what you were getting into when you signed up for my class. You made your bed. Now lie in it." Spencer leaned forward and placed his elbows on his desk, crossing his fingers once again. 

"I think you're full of shit, Spencer Reid." You sneered. 

Line.

"I'm sure you do, sweetheart. And it's Doctor or Professor. I'm not picky." He had the gall to laugh. 

"Profile me then, professor. If you're so damn sure of yourself." You rolled your eyes but looked at him expectantly. 

Sinker. 

"Stand up, lock the door." He instructed. You did as he asked with no rebuttal. He raised from his chair and walked around the desk. You followed him closely with your eyes, unable to predict his next steps. 

He placed a singular finger under your chin and lifted it to make you look up at him. "Good girl." He whispered with intent. You tried to give no outward reaction to the words, but as Spencer had come to predict, your body betrayed you. Goosebumps raced down your crossed arms, and your breathing hitched, even if only slightly. 

You didn't break eye contact, to Spencer's amusement. You really should've known better. 

"You want me to profile you? Sure. In your essay, you kept mentioning speculation. But, you see, it's not speculation. It's deduction. You would've known and been able to differentiate the two if you weren't so busy rubbing your thighs and biting your lips in my class." His words were accompanied by his thumb coming up to your mouth, running it over the chewed-up skin of your bottom lip. 

"You want to know what else I deduced just now?" He didn't wait for your reply as he brought his face closer to yours, leaning in to whisper in your ear. 

"I think you like being called a good girl. But not because of the validation... No... It's the implication that turns you on." His breath scalded the delicate skin of your neck as he spoke. 

You urged him to continue with your silence, breath stuck in your throat. 

"You see, most girls like you like being called a good girl because they lack external male validation. They're desperate to hear those words from anyone. Not you, though... No..." Spencer laughed before continuing. 

"You like it because it implies a level of authority. You love hearing it, especially from me, because it implies that I have the authority to decide for you what you are. And you wanna know what I think?" He leaned back a little to be able to look you in your wide eyes. He traced his finger over your jaw. 

"I think you're a little whore. You don't want someone to validate you. You need someone to completely dominate you." He grabbed your chin forcefully. A soft whimper left your lips before you could stop it. 

"Your pupils are dilated, your skin is flushed, and you're barely breathing. That's how I know I'm right. And I'm not speculating, darling." The alarmed look you gave him did nothing to deter him. 

"Get on your knees." He demanded as he let go of your chin. You did so without question. You looked up at him expectantly, heart beating in your throat. 

"Looks like I finally found a way to shut you up. Though, I can think of other ways. You're going to address me as 'Sir' from now on. You won't speak unless spoken to. Am I clear?" 

You nodded quickly, spreading your legs to alleviate the pressure quickly building. Spencer raised an eyebrow before putting his shoe between your thighs, putting even more pressure than before. 

"I asked. Am. I. Clear?" 

"Yes!" You yelped. A smile that could only be described as devilish made itself apparent on your professor's face. 

"Yes, what?" He asked as he pushed the point of his shoe further between your thighs. 

"Yes, Sir." You all but moaned as you tried to hold yourself up, keeping your back as straight as it would allow you. 

"Good girl." He said the riveting words. 

You expected him to pull his pants down and force your mouth on him, but he did no such thing. 

"You're gonna make yourself cum on my shoe. You better not make any noise." He instructed. 

"Yes, Sir." You mumbled as you slowly started grinding against him. You felt your cheeks get redder and redder in embarrassment. You were mortified at the realization that the humiliated feeling only added to the ease of your grinding, getting wetter and wetter. Your underwear was no longer doing much to keep his shoe clean. 

You looked up at Spencer, who looked unaffected. He put his hands in his pockets and sighed as if the current situation was nothing but an inconvenience to him. You slowly put your arms around his leg as you moved closer to him. 

Soft whines left your mouth as you felt yourself getting closer. You'd never felt as conflicted before. So incredibly turned on, yet so embarrassed to be basically humping his leg. 

Suddenly, Spencer ripped his leg away. You lost your support and fell flat on the floor in front of his feet. "That's enough." 

"I thought you said I had to make myself cum, Sir?" You could hear you sounded as desperate as you probably looked. 

"And I decided I'm not going to let you. Now, who said you could speak?" You quickly closed your mouth. "That's what I thought." 

He gripped your upper arm harshly and hoisted you off the floor. You dared to peek at the shoe that had just now been your seat and were embarrassed to find it reflecting the light, unlike its matte counterpart. 

Your legs wobbled as Spencer guided you to his desk. It was only now you realized the shutters weren't completely shut, light from the hallway shining down on your face as he pushed it down against the mahogany when he bent you over at the waist. Spencer followed your gaze. 

"I guess you'll really have to be quiet, baby. My office hours start in less than an hour." You met his eyes with your own panicked ones. Anybody who did as much as try and look inside past the shutters would see you bent over his desk. He brushed your hair out of your face before flipping your skirt up and examining the sight before him. 

"You soaked right through those panties of yours. Better take 'em off." He said as he hooked his fingers under them and pulled them down. You stepped out of them to the best of your ability.

Spencer picked them up, and gave them a short whiff, before walking around his desk. You didn't dare move but followed him with your eyes, confused. He looked at you as he unlocked a drawer, put them inside, and locked it again. You weren't getting those back. 

He walked back around and admired the sight for a little before he unexpectantly gave your ass a harsh smack. You closed your eyes tightly as you felt yourself get wetter at the stinging sensation it left behind. 

You jumped as he pushed two fingers inside without preparation. He placed his other hand on your back to push you back down against the desk. His eyes were warning you to stay still as he moved his finger expertly inside you. He brought his thumb to your clit, and you had to bite your lip to stop yourself from making any noise. The circumstances from before had ensured you were nearing the edge concerningly fast. 

When Spencer sped up, you brought a hand to your mouth to muffle any noise. You felt your eyes tear up at the intensity of the sensation, so you squeezed them closed. Just as you were about to fall over the edge, Spencer stepped away. His weight against you was what was keeping you up. You felt your knees buckle as a desperate cry left your lips. 

"Please, Spencer. Please." 

He looked furious as he grabbed your shoulders, turning you around and pushing you back on the desk. Your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist. He pushed your shirt up, exposing more skin to him. He tugged your bra down, not bothering to unclasp it. He tugged roughly at your nipples, making you keen, and the tears finally spill from your eyes. 

"Not so tough now, huh?" He mumbled as he undid his belt with one hand. The other was still pawing at your crudely exposed breasts. He didn't bother properly pulling his pants down, only taking his cock out of its confines. You imagined you looked downright filthy compared to how composed the man in front of you still managed to appear. There was a stain on his pants from where your crotch had met his, but other than that, he was pristine. 

He gave his cock a few tugs before lining himself up, grabbing your thighs and pushing inside. You couldn't contain the guttural groan that escaped you as the strength of his thrust forced your head off the desk, hanging over the edge. He didn't care as he started pounding away, using his grip on your thighs as leverage. 

You could barely breathe, the angle of your neck not allowing much air to flow. Your ears started to ring as blood pooled in your head, making you dizzy as Spencer kept his brutal pace. You tried gripping his arms to pull yourself back up before you passed out, but hardly to any avail. Spencer noticed your struggle and pulled your head back on the desk. The blood rushing back down, along with a particularly harsh thrust, had you moaning his name. 

You heard his haggard breath as he continued filling you again and again. The sensation of him inside you drove you crazy, the tears from earlier still fresh on your cheeks. Low groans fell from Spencer's lips when one of his hands moved to your clit, rubbing rough circles. 

Just as you'd recovered from your little upside-down stint, Spencer brought the hand still resting on your thigh up to your throat, reclaiming your ability to breathe freely. He squeezed in the exact right spot. Your hands moved to his wrist, not to get him to stop, but as leverage. 

"You look so good like this, like a slut for your Professor. Crying on my cock while I decide if you get to breathe." You moaned as your nails dug harshly into his wrist. You were slowly getting lightheaded again. 

"You're gonna cum on my cock when I tell you to." He spoke through the sound of skin hitting skin. His voice was strained, low moans reaching your ears.

"Yes, Sir." You struggled to get the words out. 

"Good girl," Spencer said once more, giving a few more intentional thrusts deep inside you. A noise that could only be classified as a scream bubbles straight out of your chest when he hit the right spot over and over and over again. He finally released the hold on your neck. 

"Cum." The demand had barely reached your ears as your vision went white. You felt his hips stutter against your own, shooting his load in tandem with your own orgasm. 

He slowly pulled out and admired the sight of you still trying to recover, legs wide open, dripping with his cum on his desk. 

You were on the edge of hyperventilating, all the sensations overwhelming you. Spencer slowly helped you sit up, careful to not let your privates touch the harsh wood of the desk. You let yourself fall against his chest as he held you up.

"Hey, hey. You're okay. Come on, look at me." He spoke softly, in complete contrast to just mere minutes ago. You met his eyes, which had softened tremendously. 

"I'm sorry if I was too harsh on you." He quietly apologized, wiping the stray tears from your cheeks. 

You shook your head. "No, no... You were right. That was exactly what I needed, I suppose. Good profiler." You chuckled emptily. 

Spencer stifled a laugh as he wrapped his arms around you. "Next time, you can just ask for what you want, okay? No more of this little game." 

"It was fun, though. Guess I underestimated you, Sir." 

Spencer groaned at the title. 

"Too soon, baby girl. Maybe clean yourself up before going there again." 

You winced as you felt a trickle of his cum down your leg. 

"Yeah, maybe." You grimaced. You were going to be sore for the next week.

He lifted your face to his, the action feeling a lot less domineering. His eyes were gentle as he slowly leaned in, placing a delicate kiss on your lips. 

"You'll still need to rewrite that essay." He muttered as he pulled away. 

You rolled your eyes and scoffed, hitting his shoulder lightly before giving him a peck. "Sure thing, Professor." 

PART 2

[somewhere-at-the-burrow]

𝒯𝐻𝐸 𝐿𝐸𝒜𝒢𝒰𝐸 𝒞𝒰𝒫

⤹ 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐲𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐬 // 𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐊𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐬 !

(( I finally made it to a professional quidditch game! ever since I got into shifting, I have been waiting for this moment and this post is inspired by what it was like and how absolutely immersive this experience was. I only stayed for one day, so this was the main event of my shift last night! I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS FINALLY HAPPENED CAN YOU TELL IM EXCITED !! holding myself together all day until the moment i'm writing this has been unbearable and all I want to do is tell someone about this so let's begin!!))

★ it is pretty common for most professional League games to be held at a large pitch in Dartmoor. it is a permanent structure that can be visited by portkey / floo network (similar to the World Cup). for the final game in the League, many many people came to watch and the area was full of people camping out overnight to spend time at the fairgrounds !

★ I honestly did not expect the event to encompass that much space, but when we got there rows of tents and vendors lined the grassy fields and I was so grateful that my friends and I decided to come a couple hours earlier

★ in the fairgrounds, there were so many quidditch centered vendors selling a range of things from broom kits to the latest gloves to luxury brooms

★ the luxury brooms were absolutely breathtaking to look at! i am such a quidditch geek in this reality, so Cedric had to physically drag me away from this one display of a foreign racing broom that was so stunning and sleek IF I GET RICH IM COMING BACK FOR IT

★ the whole environment was more magical than I could've even imagined. the whole time we walked to the pitch, music and the sound of little trick charms surrounded us. there were tiny fireworks and whistles and bagpipes, too. it was overstimulating but in an enthralling way... I never wanted to leave, truly.

★ another thing that was completely fascinating to me was the giant pictures of the team players moving around and waving and doing all sorts of portrait shenanigans. these were on the side of the pitch!

★ ONE OF THE KESTRELS CHASERS OH MY LORD. his name was Conor Quinn and the whole time Ginny and I kept looking at each other every time we saw his poster because that man is so attractive. it came with scrutiny from the boys, but no regrets!!!

★ when the game was about to start, it was so exhilarating because it was a crowd effort. the crowd was involved in so many chants and hearing the rush of people screaming for their favorite players was so so cool (i was unashamedly chanting as well. looking back, I was kind of obnoxious but oh well! that is the experience!)

★ a chant I remember so vividly was a series of claps while people synchronized "HOLYHEAD .... HAR-PIES!". I swear the entire Harpies fanbase was there we CARRIED the chants

★ when I tell you this quidditch game was in my top five moments of life... I cried when the ball was released & I have no shame!!

★ the Harpies were behind by quite a bit in the first half of the game, and we genuinely thought they were going to lose. in this reality, the snitch is worth a different amount of points, so if Grace Belling (the Harpies seeker) would've caught it, they still would have lost

★ sometime around this point, one of the older beaters (Finn O'Cleary) got knocked off of his broom and when I say he was older I THOUGHT HE DIED. that poor guy just layed in the pitch for so long until the substitute came in and it was such a dramatic turn of events we didn't even know what to do in the stands

★ nonetheless, the Harpies caught up again and everything was so expertly planned it was AMAZING

★ the nose dives?? the sharp turns around the stands?? IT WAS SO EXPERTLY EXECUTED and Iris and I were on the edge of our seats trying to memorize the moves to use next year in quidditch

★ it's no surprise but the Harpies caught the snitch and they won!! they waited until their points were exactly 10 over before they went for the snitch, which was so risky last minute but it made for such a thrilling game!!

★ the crowd was absolutely WILD. especially since it was the seeker's first year on the professional team and she already won the League Cup. the players were flying over the chanting crowds and everything was ballistic

★ Ginny and I were throwing our hands up and I hit Harry really hard accidentally and I felt so bad and he just brushed it off saying I was having a good time. it ended up bonding us more though and we shopped around together in the final shop before we left!

★ I got the COOLEST poster for my room. i've made it a goal in each of my DRs to collect as many knickknacks as possible for my room, so this moving poster of the updated team was perfect :)

★ anyway, the party was very much still going at the fairgrounds when we left around dusk... my god the irish really did "have their pride on!!"

note: i realized i wrote so so much (and i could still write more!) but here is what it was like for me! truly one of the best nights of my life.

we ended up going home and having dinner in the garden, which i might write about as well bc that is kind of a family tradition on big days!

much love if you've read this far!!

daphne (your local harpies fanatic)

[yazis]

I'M NOT INTERESTED!!

八 - take a shot

wc: ~1.1k

note: not proofread!!

once the bell rang dismissing everyone and signalling the end of the day, you sprinted out of your 2-B classroom and down the corridor to find yoichi and meguru.

the two of them were luckily in the same class. as you approached the classroom doors of 2-C you saw them both already making their way out.

“hey (y/n)!” meguru called, giving you a wave once he caught sight of you.

"meguru! yoichi! who's ready to play some football?" you said enthusiastically.

"i thought you were joking..." yoichi replied looking somewhat concerned as you waved him off.

"of course not, itoshi sae is waiting..!" you said clasping your hands together to which yoichi rolled his eyes, the three of you making your way to where the first year classrooms were.

"you do realise there isn't a single girl that attends football club, right?" yoichi mentioned, meguru had found his way next to your right and looped an arm around your own.

"well, yoichi. there's a first for everything." you argued nudging his side with your free arm, the three of you coming to a stop in front of the 1-A classroom.

"plus, it's just football. a little kick here and a little kick there, how hard can it be?" you smiled confidently.

"very for someone like you, you're the most unathletic person i know." rin piped up coming out of his classroom and walking ahead of you guys. you were not appreciating his unwanted opinion.

"oh yeah? well you're the bitchiest person i know." you shot back catching up to him as all four of you walked off to the changing rooms.

----

you came out your changing room later than the other three. a lot more people turned up to football club than you had anticipated. the stands on the side of the school field were filled with all sorts of people watching.

the field itself didn't have many people and you were able to recognise a few other second years there. specifically nagi and reo from your class. the sight of the latter making you gag slightly.

your eyes also fell upon meguru, yoichi and rin, all supposedly warming up together, behind them you also caught a glimpse of some reddish brown hair making you feel giddy. you were about to make your way on the field as well until one of the coaches came up to you.

"sorry, no fans allowed on the field during practice." he said blowing your path, you looked up at him unimpressed.

"uh, hello? i'm no fan, i came here to play." you said putting your arms on your hips.

the coach blinked, looking down at you as if you were some joke before speaking up again, "even still, club today is an internal practice match between players who are on the team."

you glared at him, grumbling something underneath your breath before turning around and heading to the crowded stands to watch from the sidelines.

——————————

you slumped in your chair sat down on the side, watching as the head coach split them into two teams to play a match. you had really wanted to play, not only to show itoshi sae you're skills but also because playing football with your friends would've been fun.

a pout formed on your lips and your chin rested in the palm of your hands, the whistle commencing the start of the game. even with your lack of football knowledge, observing the match itself proved to be quite exciting, even if it was just a practice.

meguru was quite skilled with the ball, weaving through multiple players without losing any speed. rin, despite being the only first year on the pitch, was better than most of the people there as much as you hated to admit it. isagi also managed to score a goal at one point

however the one who stood out to you the most was itoshi sae. since the start of the game he had managed to score three goals and done so effortlessly, he had still yet to break a sweat.

your eyes were glued to him for the majority of the game, unable to look anywhere else. absorbed in his movements as if the game revolved around him, he made it all look so easy.

once the match was over and the head coach had finished giving them a final word, you rushed out of the stands and towards the fields to meet your three friends.

"guys! you were all so good!" you said excitedly as you sat down next to the them on the grass a few meters away from the penalty box.

the three of them were all sweating, panting slightly and drinking from their water bottles.

your eyes wandered to itoshi sae, stretching and warming down at the corner, the right side of the goal.

even when he's doing the bare minimum he still looks so...

you gulped nervously at the way his muscles flexed before drifting your eyes elsewhere to a ball not too far away.

yoichi must've noticed your gaze on the ball as he proceeded to ask, "are you thinking of trying to shoot?"

"yeah! take a shot (y/n)!" meguru cheered.

"I'll give it a try." you smiled walking over to the ball at the edge of the box.

i hope itoshi sae is watching.

you set the ball down at the top of the box in front of you on the penalty spot, stepping back before kicking with your left foot and missing the ball itself completely.

never mind, i hope he did not see that

you glanced at said boy occupying your mind who seemed fully focused on his stretches with his back turned to you. you let out a brief sigh before slowly turning round to meet your friends' expressions.

meguru and isagi immediately burst out laughing at your failed shot as rin simply sat staring at you judgementally which seemed to speak louder than the other two's reactions.

"shut up! i'm trying to copy what you guys were doing." you said ignoring meguru's giggles as you backed up from the ball ready to take another shot.

you took a little jog up to the ball, planting your left foot down and bringing your right foot to come straight forward and, this time, in contact with the ball.

you weren't too sure what you did, but the ball zoomed forward flying at an angle just like you had seen the others do earlier. your face lit up in delight, that was until you noticed that your shot was completely off target.

the delighted expression once upon your face fell, and the feeling of your heart sinking in your chest began to grow watching the ball aim far towards the right...

"hey- look out!"

...striking none other than itoshi sae in the back of the head.

prev | masterlist | next

SUMMARY: in which 2nd-year y/n l/n one day turns up at their high school and falls heads over heels with a certain 3rd-year, one who has a strict ‘no-dating’ policy.

taglist: @bluerskiees @ilovechuuyaa @bloombb @silly-ez @urdesaintess @saeswifeeee @kiopanxp @azharyy @winterpein @sarah-saystuff @krnsluvvie @biaonww @morgyyyyyyy @simpingmyassoff @sereniteav @gigiiiiislife @localgirlywithnolife

[chirpingfromthebox]

I forgot to post about this back when it came out. But this was an interview with two prominent figures from the management side of the PWHL from a few days back. I was expecting it to be a bit dry, but they actually address quite a few prominent questions.

I was originally going to skip doing this one as it's somewhat long, but I've been seeing a number of things they talked about coming up in discussions here, so I thought y'all might be interested to hear what they have to say.

I'll transcribe what I personally found to be the most interesting elements that came up, but know I'll be cutting down some of the remarks and only doing some of the questions, so definitely watch the video for the full story.

Since this is already going to be a massive post I'll spare you my musings on the answers.

Transcriptions of some of the questions under the break.

At the table are Senior Vice President of Hockey Operations Jayna Hefford & Advisory Board Member Stan Kasten.

And I believe this was after Game 2 of the finals and before the start of Game 3.

For context on who these two are in a bigger picture, what little I know is:

Jayna Hefford is a HIGHLY successful and influential former Canadian hockey player who's been working in the field of women's hockey ever since she retired from playing. If I tried to sum up her career we'd be here all day, so let's just say she's in the Hockey Hall of Fame for a reason.

Stan Kasten comes from a background of running/managing large sports teams, though mostly baseball. He is even the current president of the Los Angeles Dodgers and also one of the co-owners. He seems to have had a brief foray into hockey as the president of the NHL's Atlanta Thrashers for a few years. The Thrashers no longer exist and I think they moved and became what are now the Jets? (I dunno, I shouldn't be your source for NHL history, that's for sure.)

--------------- INTRODUCTIONS ---------------

STAN KASTEN: I can’t describe the pleasure this is for me to be here [at the Xcel Energy Center in Minnesota]. The last time I was here I told you that I thought that day, the 13,000*, really convinced us that we were going to make this work.

[* the first home game for Minnesota had an attendance of 13,316.]

But even then I couldn’t have imagined how the year would play out. How we would set attendance records, sponsorship records, and viewing records. So our media strategy was a success. But of course the thing that made it work, really, was what I said opening day: we got the hockey right.

And that’s because of Jayna [Hefford] and her staff. You know, we didn’t know our playoffs ‘til after the last game on the last day. Who could have imagined that we’d put together a system that would've worked out that perfectly. You see how close and competitive the playoffs have been. And as exciting as this is for all of us, we can’t wait to get started on year 2, because we know with all Summer to prepare, it’s gonna be even better.

JAYNA HEFFORD: When we kicked off this league we had a few goals and—at least on the hockey side—one of them was to create parity across the league. And through the draft and the player dispersal, the player signings that we put in place, we were able to do that.

And to Stan’s point, I don’t think we could have wrote the script any better the way it played out and came down to the last game of the regular season to decide who was in the playoffs. We certainly achieved that.

Secondly, innovation and creativity was a priority for us. We wanted to find ways to improve the game. To make it more engaging for fans, to make it fun. We didn’t want to change hockey in the traditionalism of hockey, but we wanted to do things a little bit differently.

So implementing the Jailbreak rule, implementing the pick your own opponent, the Gold Plan*. All of those things are new. But I think right now, and of course we’re going to debrief post-season, but right now the response from all of those things has been overwhelmingly positive. So we will continue to try to be creative and think outside the box and present the game in new ways to people.

[* It didn’t come into play this season, so in case anyone isn’t familiar: The Gold Plan is the system by which after a team is out of contention for the playoffs during the regular season, any wins they get would be factored into where they’d be placed in the draft order for next season. It was designed to be an incentive for teams out of the running to still play their hardest and strive for wins.]

...

So excited to be here now for the next two or three games. And really it’s been a remarkable, amazing journey this last number of years, but really this last 8 or 9 months. And as Stan said, I don’t think I could have envisioned this playing out the way it did. The excitement around this, and the response from our fans, and response from media. So we’re just thrilled with where it’s at and I know this is gonna wrap up in a really great way in the next number of days.

...

--------------- LOOKING AHEAD, WHAT ARE THE CHANGES/CHALLENGES FOR NEXT YEAR? ---------------

STAN: We didn’t have our business staff in place until about 60 days before the season started. So we have a lot we can still do.

The most obvious one was merchandise. Having, you know, the amount of inventory that we needed was a challenge for us. Getting an online business started, in two countries, that was a challenge. So all these two country problems are different than other leagues.

By the end of the season we did really well on merchandise. But we have more coming and more designs and greater inventory. The one good thing is that we sold everything that we could make. I mean, it was just flying off the shelves when we could get it to arenas. And the online business has been strong also. Those things are challenging when they’re start-ups, and as I said, they’re start-ups in two countries, so we know how to do it now. It’s gonna get a lot better going forward.

JAYNA: And I think what everybody is waiting for is names and logos. So that’s one big thing that’s coming. So I think that’ll be really exciting to be able to build those brands and make those brands significant in the markets and communities we’re in.

STAN: It’s interesting how the name thing played out. We did not start out to do that, but because the lead time required in these things, we just thought it was better to just skip that for now and just go with: PWHL and the location.

And that has had an amazing unintended consequence of anytime anyone has talked about any of our teams all year, you had to say “PWHL.” So our league has gotten more exposure in the first year of its existence than any league in history ‘cause they kept repeating our name.

Again, we didn’t plan it that way; it just worked out that way. And it was about mid-season that I started hearing from fans and players, “You know, we kinda like the name the way it is.”

We’re gonna have team names. And I invite people to adopt those names too. But you can feel free to continue to call it what you’ve always called it. And we will be selling merchandise with both of those names. So these names aren’t going away because they have become popular. But for those of you who like team names, we’ll be addressing that as well.

...

JAYNA: ...Of course we feel like we have incredible talent on the ice every night now, but putting the best on the ice is about putting the best on the ice. And we know there’s a number of incoming players. So it will get more challenging. Good players will have a hard time making this league. But when you think about the product we’re gonna put on the ice? It’s gonna continue to get significantly better every single year as we welcome in newer and younger players. Then at some point we’ll look to add teams, when that depth of talent is at the right place in our minds. But right now it’s just exciting to look at all the new and fresh talent that’s going to step in.

--------------- WHAT CAN YOU DO TO IMPROVE DIVERSITY AND ATTRACT MORE BLACK FANS TO THE GAMES? ---------------

JAYNA: I think the first thing is representation. And we have some incredible athletes in our league that continue to be great role models, be active in their communities. And when you think of Sophie Jaques and Sarah Nurse and players that continue to give back and become something that young girls can look up to? I think all of our players do that for a lot of different communities of people.

And I think the one thing that’s really special about our league is- I feel it every game I’m at, it doesn’t matter what market we’re in, is that there’s a sense of inclusivity in our buildings. People are here and they’re excited and they’re happy and they feel welcome, regardless of who they are. And they feel free to be themselves. I’ve talked to many, many people that have never felt this way in a hockey rink. So we’ll continue to do that on the culture side.

I think what we want to do is continue to grow the game for young girls and I don’t think there’s any limits on who those young girls are. We want people to fall in love with the game. And I think we approach our business side and staffing side the same way. We want to bring people in who love the game and we want to bring people in that represent different communities.

--------------- WHAT ARE THE PLANS FOR NEW YORK TO POSSIBLY PLAY IN ONE VENUE INSTEAD OF THE THREE OR FOUR THEY USED THIS SEASON? ---------------

STAN: When the season is over we’re gonna review everything. Every city, every venue that we’re in, and we’re going to try to improve. We’re aware of the New York situation. It wasn’t ideal this year. But we’ll see what ways we can improve the situation. We’re not ready to say here today which way we’re going to go or what we’re going to do. But I can tell you that certainly one of the things we’re going to spend a lot of time looking at.

REPORTER: What do you guys think is the ideal venue situation?

STAN: The ideal venue situation is to play in the biggest NHL venue in every city. And merit playing there. We’re not always there yet in every market. But in big markets, as you might know, the big venues are there because there are a lot of events and a lot of teams in those cities. That gets into availabilities. We don’t want to be in a big venue, but have to play on a Tuesday morning, right? We wanna play on weekend nights or nights in general.

So it’s a complicated matrix of considerations that goes into where we choose to play, when we choose to play, what’s good for the team, what’s good for the visiting team, how we travel. It’s complicated.

It’s complicated with 6, it’ll be more complicated the bigger we grow and the more games we have. Those will be good problems, but we don’t ignore it. We’re thinking about all of it. And you saw in this year when we found an opportunity that we thought would work for our fans in cities where we could go to big venues, we did it. I would call them experiments and in general I’d say those experiments were all wildly successful.

--------------- WHEN CAN WE EXPECT NAMES AND LOGOS? ---------------

STAN: Sometime this Summer. I don’t have an exact time, but you should be counting the days.

--------------- HOW DID THE GATE RECEIPT REVENUE COMPARE TO WHAT YOU EXPECTED? ---------------

STAN: I will tell you that, yes, it exceeded what we thought we were going to- it exceeded our early projections. But that’s partially because we made the strategy decision to also greatly exceed our expected expenses.

Let me give you an example. You know how women’s hockey games have been broadcast in the past, right? Single camera from upstairs. It isn’t what we chose to do. We made the conscious choice to spend a lot of money to make it a major league professional broadcast. And I think all of you who watched our games would agree. That’s what we delivered. It was expensive. But we think it’s gonna pay off for us in the long run.

Additionally we didn’t hire three people and slowly build each franchise. We went right to 120 people by opening day and now we’re over 200 people. So that was a lot of expense that we didn’t expect right away, but we said, “you know what? We’re all in. So let’s do year 4 expenses in year 1.”

So yeah, and that resulted in a lot more revenue. And that’s why we think our decision to invest in the league, which is what I call expenses, was the right one. We’re on the right track. The investments we made are paying off.

--------------- WHAT CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT NEXT SEASON’S SCHEDULE, NUMBER OF GAMES, AND POSSIBLE NEUTRAL-SITE GAMES? ---------------

JAYNA: Well, in terms of number of games the league will go up to 30. And that’s in our CBA that 24 regular games in the inaugural season will move to a minimum of 30 next year. In terms of neutral site games, we do expect that there will be more of those next season. I don’t have a timeline for our schedule to be done yet, but we do expect more games, more neutral-site games next season.

--------------- WHAT WAS THE CONSENSUS ON THE OFFICIATING THIS SEASON IN THE LEAGUE? ---------------

JAYNA: I don’t know if you’ll ever get a collection of people that all agree on officiating in any sport, in any league. So we’re actually really happy with where we’re at.

We set out initially to find the best officials we could find. We worked closely with the NHL, the AHL, Hockey Canada, USA Hockey, to select the top officials. We obviously also adjusted the standard of play to this league. It’s not full body checking, but there is an increased level of physicality in the game. So I think we spent the early months of the season really trying to figure out where that line is and get people comfortable with it.

Now where we’re at I think players have figured it out to some extent. Of course not everyone’s going to agree on that. But the way I see the players playing the game now, and their awareness of positions they’re in, and to be ready for that physicality has changed. So, are we right there? We’re probably not right there yet. But we’re really happy with where we’re at, we think the officials have done an incredible job in the league this season.

--------------- ARE THERE PLANS FOR DRAFTED PLAYERS WHO MIGHT NOT MAKE THE PWHL ROSTERS? ---------------

JAYNA: I think trying to figure out what the right solution for that is in the short term is at the top of our list of things to do. You know, building one league in 9 months, but to build a whole ecosystem for hockey? It’s just not something that we can do right now. But we are thinking creatively around places that players could play if they don’t end up on our 23 or 26 player rosters next season. So it’s a bit of a work in progress. But in speaking to number of stakeholders there’s many many people that want to figure out a solution to this so that we can keep more women in playing the game at the highest level.

--------------- DO YOU LOOK AT THE LEAGUE AS A “WOMEN’S SPORTS” SUCCESS STORY OR HAS IT MOVED BEYOND THAT? ---------------

JAYNA: I think that we are very different from most men’s leagues. I think we’re very different than many women’s leagues. I’d like to see us stand on our own as a sports league. But in saying that I also believe that this time for women’s sports and the success of one feels like it’s a success for all. We’re all big fans and collaborate with folks in the WNBA and the NWSL, and it feels like we’re all working together to raise women’s sports. So I don’t know if that’s an appropriate answer, but I feel it’s a little of both.

--------------- HOW DO THE INVESTORS FEEL ABOUT THIS FIRST SEASON? ---------------

STAN: I have one investor, he is ecstatic.

...

--------------- WHAT IS THE POTENTIAL FOR DOING A BEST OF 7 GAMES SERIES IN THE FUTURE? ---------------

JAYNA: This is a little bit like getting asked about expansion 3 months in. Great question. Would I love to see a best of 7 series? We’re sitting here 1-1, you know of course I would. But I think we’re really excited about the format we have now. This is new for women’s hockey. Even the best players in the world who’ve won multiple Olympic gold medals have not played in a best of 5 series. I think we’re seeing that it’s challenging. There’s a lot of travel, there’s fatigue, the volume that they’re experiencing is huge

So I think we’re really good where we’re at right now. Somewhere along the line I could see us maybe expanding, but again, year 1? The two best of 5 series have been a really great format for us.

STAN: And that comes from someone who’s won 4 Olympic gold medals.

JAYNA: [laughing] I’ve never played in a best of 5 series either.

STAN: Exactly.

--------------- end of interview ---------------

[atlasdoe]

THE HOGWARTS CLASS OF 1978 - pt 15

MARLENE MCKINNON

Name - Marlene McKinnon

Blood status - Pureblood

Date of birth - 14th September 1959

House - Ravenclaw

Academic achievements - Beater for the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team, Quidditch captain

She had to watch her five younger siblings be killed by her childhood best friend before he killed her as well

Cannon

Was part of the first Order of the Pheonix

Voldemort whipped out her entire family

Peter Pettigrew was visibly down about her families death

Lily Evans "cried all evening" when she heard about her families deaths

Headcanon

Lesbian

Irish

Her patronus was a cat (her cat Monty to be accurate)

Her boggart was being unable to protect her siblings

Older sister to Georgia, Olivia, Elizabeth “Lizzie” and Thomas “Tommy” McKinnon

Grew up in a wizard town in Ireland (the same one as the Bones family)

Marlene was very ambitious and determined as a child. She quickly fell in love with Quidditch and decided then and there that it was what she wanted to do for the rest of her life

Growing up she had the idea that as the eldest she had to be the protector and carer to her younger siblings drilled into her brain by her father, Michael McKinnon. She didn't know it at the time but her father was sick and knew that when he died her mother would not be in the right state to take care of Marlene and her siblings, so while he was alive he tried his hardest to not only make what little time they had special but to prepare them all for when he leaves

On Marlene’s first day of Hogwarts her family also gifted her a grey cat called Monty who soon became the form her patronus took

Michael died when Marlene was 7 years old. He was killed in action during what was supposed to be his last mission as an Auror

With his death still being so unexpected Marlenes mother shut down

Because of all of this Marlene was very protective of not only her younger siblings but also her friends and mother

Major Older Sister Trauma. Like Marlene would relate to Surface Pressure SO MUCH. She is Fiona Gallagah, she is Nine Riva. FREE MARLENE FROM THE YOUNGEST SIBLING ALLEGATIONS

While growing up she was good friends with Edgar and Amelia Bones, who lived in the same neighbourhood as her family. She enjoyed spending time with both of them but her favourite was Edgar who would play Quidditch with her all day in a field near both of their houses. Amelia would occasionally play but wasn't too interested in the game to want to play a thousand games back to back

Edgar and Malene also taught all of Marlene’s younger siblings and Edgars nieces how to play Quidditch

Growing up Marlene was musically trained and sometimes she, Georgia and Edgar would put on concerts for their families

Edgar and Amelia would call Marlene “Macca” after Paul McCartney. They tried to get Marlene into the Beatles but she wasn't a big fan

Four times a year (once for each season) Peter Pettigrew would visit some of his extended family who lived in the same town as Marlene.

Because they were both the same age Marlene and Peter were encouraged to be friends and Marlene was told to look after Peter and make sure he didn't get lost

Peter was shy and didn't talk much during their first few meeting and although Marlene found it awkward and would've much preferred for him to talk she didn't push and decided to do most of the talking for him but still asked him questions to try to make him more comfortable around her (think Carl and Ellie’s first meeting from Up. That’s young Peter and Marlene)

By the time they were 11 and on their way to Hogwarts Peter was much more out of his shell and although he did stick like glue to Marlene for the first few weeks he eventually branched out and made his own friends

Despite being sorted into different houses and having different groups of friends Peter and Marlene still remind close friends and would often study together in the library. Marlene would help Peter with Care for Magical Creatures and Transfiguration while Peter would help Marlene with Defence Against the Dark Arts and Potions

On the first night Marlene and her other Ravenclaws, Emmeline Vance, Hestia Jones, Sybill Trelawney, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Gilderoy Lockheart and Alexander Steddings, all sat together on the floor by the fire and played 21 questions as some of the older students occasionally came over to introduce themselves

It was while playing 21 questions that Marlene realised that she loved Emmeline, she liked Kingsley, she was fascinated by Sybill, she was indifferent about Alexander, she couldn’t understand Gilderoy and she hated Hestia

The relationship between the Ravenclaws of the class of 1978 was always a tricky one. They all acted like cousins who couldn’t stand each other during Easter but loved each other during Christmas. They got into arguments frequently and Flickwick would often have to gather them all in his office to talk things out

One time in their second year, during a potions lesson things got so heated between the 7 of them that spells started shooting and as punishment Flitwick made them all do team building exercises for an entire Saturday afternoon

Despite her love hate relationship with the majority of them Marlene always had and always will adore Emmeline

Emmeline was Marlene’s person, her platonic soulmate, her ride or die, her sister, her everything

Marlene and Emmeline were rarely seen apart and always had each other's back no matter what. If Emmeline got into an argument with someone then Marlene was backing her no matter what, even if she was obviously wrong

Some other notable friends that Marlene had were Lily Evans, Mary MacDonald, Sirius Black and Frank Longbottom

Marlene met Lily during her first lessons with the Gryfifndors. Marlene knew that although she wanted to have a career in Quidditch she couldn't let her grades in other classes slip, for this reason the lessons she had with the Gryffindors were her least favourite. The Marauders were constantly begging to be the centre of attention and although Marlene adored Peter she really wanted to hit him whenever he was with those other boys

It was after Marlene witnessed Lily Evans calling James Potter a “toe rag who needed to be told no every once and a while” that she decided that they needed to become best friends immediately

Marlene met Mary MacDonald during their second year at Hogwarts. Lily introduced them because Mary wanted to learn about Quidditch

Marlene lit up when Mary mentioned that she wanted to be taught how to play because she always loved talking about the sport and sharing her passion with others so she and Edgar decided to book the pitch out and teach Mary and anyone else who wanted to know how to play

Their lessons became a tradition and every year on the second Sunday of September they would be held

After Mary was attacked in 1975 Marlene threw a fit trying to get into the Gryffindor common room to see her and kept having nightmares about her being attacked again every night. In the end, Marlene convinced Lily to give her the password to enter the common room and at night would sneak into Mary’s dormroom to sleep with her and make sure she’s safe

Marlene realised that she was a lesbian the moment she learnt what the word meant

She went on a few dates with a Muggle girl called Brittany during the summer of her fourth year but it was only a fling

As stated before Marlene was Quidditch obsessed and had every intention of joining the Ravenclaw team when she joined Hogwarts. Her first year had her pulling her hair out because the captain Apollo Mongegue was terrible and setting his team up to fail

After taking Emmeline’s advice, after the winter break Marlene went to tell Apollo everything that he was doing wrong, to which he mocked her and told her to mind her own business

Marlene tried out for the team the next year but didn't make the cut. When she confronted Apollo about it he made a sexist comment and blamed the female players of the previous team for them losing so bad the year before. Apollo had cut all of the girls out of the team and only took in male players

Ravenclaw lost again that year and the next year Marlene was finally let onto the team as one of their beaters

By the time Marlene had reached her fifth year she had proved herself enough to be Captain and won the Quidditch Cup for the first time that year

In her sixth year she was Captain again and wanted the Cup again more than she wanted it the first time. Even before the try outs she sent a gift basket to the other three Captains (Edgar, James Potter and Dorcas Meadows) just to sike them out

When tryouts came she made history and captained Hogwarts first ever all female Quidditch team

During this year she also had a rivals to lovers arc with Dorcas Meadows

Dorcas had apparently been wishing for Marlene’s downfall since the sorting ceremony meanwhile Marlene had been crushing on Dorcas from afar since the sorting ceremony

However, as we’ve said, Marlene is stubborn as fuck so when Dorcas declared in front of the entire school during the Halloween party in the Hufflepuff common room that they were rivals and Slytherin would crush Ravenclaw that year, Marlene happily took the challenge (even if she was a little turned on)

Marlene finally admitted her feelings for Dorcas in Mid May of 1977 during the Quidditch “circle” (idk what to call them but basically everyone involved in Quidditch and whoever they invite) secret outing to a muggle club. Dorcas admitted her feelings back and they started dating

By the end of the Quidditch season that year Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were tied for points so Hooch said that they can have one final game to determined a winner

During that game Marlene was hit with a blundger and fell off her broom, suffering career ending injuries

While she was in the Hospital wing her siblings refused to leave her side and had to be escorted out by their Head of Houses

Also while there she was in the bed next to

During the summer before her seventh year she and Emmeline went on a roadtrip across Britain and visited all of their friends as they stopped by their town. The road trip ended in Birmingham (where Emmeline lived) where they had a joint birthday party (17 for Emmeline and 18 for Marlene)

At the beginning of her seventh year Marlene was at her worst. She could no longer become a professional Quidditch player like she hoped so what was the point in even trying to anything else since she can’t do what she loves? She and Sirius (who was in a similar situation since the Universities he wanted to attend kept rejecting him because of his family) were often found skipping classes and never paying any attention in the classes that they did attend

Flitwick had to call Marlene into his office to figure out what the problem was, and when she told him he explained to her all of the hardships he had been through in life and suggested that she might look into finding another way to be close to Quidditch without actually playing it. In the end, Marlene decided that she wanted to be a Sports Journalist

Marlene loved to write but was very protective over her writing. The only people to hear anything that she had written were her siblings and Dorcas as she would read her stories to her siblings when they were younger if they couldn't sleep and for their anniversary would write Dorcas poems

During their seventh year Marlene and Emmeline decided to play matchmakers and tried to get Tommy and Jude (Emmeline’s younger brother) together. (and it worked, though Tommy and Jude would always deny that their sisters had anything to do with it)

Marlene once convinced Emmeline to read Little Women but Emmeline never finished it. When Beth died Emmeline threw the book across the room and vowed never to read a book again

Emmeline once tried to teach Marlene how to play football and it did not go well

Marlene joined the Order after graduating, opting out to getting a job until the war was won

After finding out that Mary opted out it made Marlene rethink if she really wanted to be a part of the Order or not. Marlene was a lot of things, but a fighter she was not. If Marlene was seeking justice she was making signs, having important conversations, and preaching rights. She wasn’t duelling strangers and she definitely wasn’t putting everything she held dear on the line

On New Years day 1979 Marlene received a letter from Mary telling her that she has took her family and decided to leave the Wizarding World for good

Marlene misread the letter and interpreted it as Mary saying that she would come back once the war was over (even though Mary was never planning on coming back) So Marlene decided that the sooner the war was over the sooner Mary could come back

Marlene pledged her allegiance to the Order of The Phoenix on the 2nd January 1978

Even at school Marlene had never been the best at spells. She would easily get into her own head and stress too much to be able to perform spells properly. However, Marlene's lack was not common knowledge as she was good at hiding it with her confidence and knowledge of the spells

She had a spell for everything and knew exactly what to do to cast it but in high pressure situations just couldn’t follow through. Instead she often decided to just throw hands or find a way to manipulate Death Eaters into walking into someone else's spells

One time Fabian Prewett was badly injured and would’ve died if it wasn't for Marlene knowing the exact spell that he needed to stop bleeding out. Even though it wasn’t Marlene who casted the spell, Fabian would’ve died if it hadn't been for her, for example

In 1979 Lily told Marlene that she was pregnant

When Lily told her she was pregnant she was disappointed in her, they were fighting in a war and Lily (who was already on the chopping block by being a muggle born) had put a target on her family's back by not having safe enough sex

While everyone was congratulating both James and Lily, Marlene was panicking. Even after Lily reassuring her a thousand times that they have everything worked out and that nothing bad will happen to him, Marlene couldn't help but worry like she was doing with everything else.

In the end Marlene came to the conclusion that she had to put herself first before she spiralled and told Lily that she refuses to meet Harry until the end of the war.

Nobody agreed with Marlene's decision apart from Sirius who, even though he was doing the exact opposite, understood where she was coming from. Multiple times was Marlene asked to hang out and Harry would be there unexpectedly and she would do everything possible to avoid him

Marlene didn't like having to avoid him so much, she wanted to meet him and hold him and swear to protect him like everyone else had done, but she knew herself and she knew that she was already past her limit.

Marlene never did get to meet Harry in person

Marlene was killed on the 14th of July 1981

Peter kills her with the killing curse and leaves her and her siblings bodies as they are

Edgar was the one to find them the next morning

[mxhirus]

Valentine's Day Headcanons

In honor of Valentine's Day, here are some headcanons! Of course, the setting is modern AU, ft. ships my friends like (i might do a second edition if you guys send asks for some pairings hehehe >w<)

MikaYuu

Mika ended up asking Yuu out to a fancy dinner, which he thought was just a friend thing because who wouldn't think it's a friend thing? (LITERALLY NOBODY YUU)

Yuu really sucks at social cues which is evident, and Mika sucks at expressing feelings

Mika has to straight up tell Yuu that he was asking him out, not like a friend.

Once Yuu realizes that it is a date, he gets all giddy and excited, kind of how Mahiru would if she were in his place with Guren. (He was raised by GureMahi with honorary uncle Shinya.)

The bill was expensive as hell but Mika's privileged rich self was able to pay because of his Krul budget

Yuu was planning on giving Mika tomochoco (lit. friend chocolate), and got embarrassed that he hadn't planned anything else

Didn't matter anyways because Mika wanted Yuu and nothing more, though he did enjoy the chocolates

Yuu dragged Mika along to many different stalls in the heart of the town they live in to try different foods, Yuu quite likes eating

Spent the rest of the day at an arcade, playing video games (Yuu likes Street Fighter, Mika likes Tekken)

GureMahi

Now that they're adults, they're able to do whatever they want. They've been married for a few years. Guren is quite shy, and simply wakes Mahiru up with a nice breakfast which he heavily struggled to cook. Mahiru enjoyed it, she likes anything Guren gives her

Guren spent the entirety of the night before planning their day together, Mahiru had obviously planned something extravagant to spoil Guren with, aware of how embarrassed he gets over being spoiled

They went out to the mall, Guren was equipped with his credit card, ready to enter debt (Mahiru has quite the fancy taste)

They bought matching sweaters because they're cheesy and corny like that

Then they go and have lunch at a local shop, and they share a bowl of curry because they are, yet again, extremely corny. Plus, it's cold.

Mahiru, noticing Guren's particular favor towards the curry, buys the whole menu, wanting to see Guren's reaction wholely

He got quite flustered

After their day has nearly ended, Mahiru blindfolds Guren and takes him on a long drive, entertaining him with some background music and conversation. She drives him to the place where they first met, and Guren, being Guren, rolls his eyes to the sky but ends up blushing like he would've when he was younger. Guren is quite overwhelmed with the amount of nostalgia, and peppers Mahiru's face in kisses, which are happily returned. They spend their day sitting in the field they played together in.

GureShin

This time, Shinya would do the planning. He's a pretty simple guy, a small act of kindness could impress and make him quite happy. Guren is a light sleeper, he has to sneak around him to get stuff done. Guren is awoken with Guren Squad outside as a mariachi, playing romance songs very terribly. Despite this, Guren appreciates the effort

Within the time Guren is distracted by the mariachi (Guren has a short attention span, and can be easily distracted depending on the topic), Shinya prepares a bouquet of Forget-Me-Nots.

Guren really likes the color, it reminds him of Shinya's eyes.

Once Guren is given the bouquet, he grows to be quite flustered and rolls his eyes and says he doesn't want them. When Shinya moves to take them back, in order to challenge Guren, he quickly takes them and puts them in a vase.

"I thought you didn't want them?" "They're mine."

Shinya had initially planned to spend the day at home, watching movies.

As aforementioned, he is quite the simple man. However, in turn, Guren tells him that he has ordered cake for them to share, so they must go to the bakery.

They pick up the cake, and Shinya, being the nosy mf he is opens the box. The cake inside says "Happy Valentine's Day, Shinya." and in smaller text under, "I love you" is written. This instantly has Shinya smitten, as he squeals extremely loudly to piss off Guren he likes teasing him.

"AWW YOU SHOULDN'T HAAAAVEEE. GUREEENNN!!! Someone catch me, I'm going to D-I-E!" "Oh my fucking God."

They ate the cake together and watched their favorite movies, cuddled on the couch and fell asleep.

ShinMahi

Valentine's Day is the competition of who can be more extra than the other, for Shinya & Mahiru. In this point in time, they would've been married for many years because of the arrangement. Mahiru wakes up first luckily, meaning she had more time to get everything done. However, Shinya wouldn't lose so easily.

Mahiru quite literally dragged a massive teddy bear into the living room and plopped it down onto Shinya's favorite spot on the couch, littering the couch with cards and flowers.

Shinya, on the other hand, anticipated Mahiru's awakening and very very quietly prepared baking supplies, as Mahiru thoroughly enjoyed baking with him. He also just so happened to have bought her yet ANOTHER car (Hiiragi flex).

Mahiru bought Shinya a shiny silver watch, because it compliments the color of his hair nicely, and she likes seeing her very handsome husband.

Shinya ends up walking into the living room, to see what Mahiru was up to. He sees the massive teddy bear. He is a simple man. Looks soft, hug. So, he dragged Mahiru to the teddy bear and hugged her, along with the teddy bear.

Mahiru grew quite flustered, but is responsive to his attention. She likes it a lot.

After a good cuddle session, Shinya drags Mahiru to the kitchen. She sees the supplies and gets excited. they quickly get to work on baking a batch of red velvet brownies. Mahiru and Shinya had both initially bonded over their particular favor towards sweets.

They end up very good, and they forget about their competition altogether because they made out and did some interesting stuff for the rest of the day. (That is up to your interpretation heheh)

[dantakeyoman]

𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐅𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 | 𝐝. 𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐨

♡ 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐥 𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐨 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦! 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

♡ * "𝒂𝒄𝒄𝒆𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒘𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒄𝒄𝒆𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇, 𝒅𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒚. 𝒊 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒊'𝒎 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒚 𝒅𝒐." *

♡ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐤𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞, 𝐢𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐫𝐲, 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬, 𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐬, 𝐞𝐭𝐜.

♡ * 𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒚 - 𝒑𝒐𝒗: 𝒌𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒌𝒊𝒅 *

𝐓𝐖𝐎

"If I ever see Johnny again, I'll knock his teeth in," you grumbled, taking a swig of your water bottle.

"If he ever sees Daniel again, he'll knock his teeth in. The guy is a complete psycho," Casey scoffed from her spot on the grass, tying her hair up.

"I don't get what his damage is. He knows what he did and you guys have been over for forever, anyways," Molly added, glaring at him from across the field.

It was the first day of school, and you shared your gym period with Johnny, Molly, and Casey.

The girls were currently on break from their soccer game, and you three decided to sit down and have a chat about last night.

"It's cause of the stupid country club. He acts all sweet around my parents and they love him. They won't listen to me no matter what I say," you sulked.

"Talk about obsessed," Casey added, joining in on the community glare at Johnny.

"Speaking of obsessed...(y/n/n), don't look now but your boy toy's right there~" Mo smirked.

If you turned any faster, you would've gotten whiplash.

Casey burst into laughter, and Mo pinched the bridge of her nose, grumbling something under her breath.

"I'll be right back," you smiled, picking up a soccer ball and heading over.

"She's hopeless," Casey sighed, laying down to soak up the sun.

"Hey, think fast!" you laughed, tossing Daniel the ball.

He caught it, turning to look at you with surprise, "Hi."

"Hi," you smiled back, looking up at him.

Now closer, you were able to get a good look at his eye, which was all sorts of purple and nearly swollen shut.

"God, your eye," you winced, your eyebrows furrowed with concern.

"Oh, don't worry. It looks worse than it feels. Believe me," he assured, fooling around with the ball in his hands.

"I hope so. You got a nice face so I wouldn't want anything to damage the merchandise," you joked, giving him a nudge.

He laughed, a small hint of blush gracing his cheeks

"But seriously, I never got a chance to thank you," you started, tucking your hands in your pockets.

"That was nothin'. I'm just sorry 'bout your radio," he juggled the ball.

"Yeah, I'm more sorry about your eye. I guess you shoulda just given it to him," you sighed.

"Well, why? It wasn't his, right?" He smiled, cocking a brow.

It was infectious.

You smiled as well, "Yeah, it wasn't his."

"See? We think alike already."

"Wanna know what else we do alike?" You smirked, grabbing the ball.

You bounced it off your knees juggling it about four times before he had to catch it.

"Hey, you've been practicing!" He grinned

"Girls soccer back on! All ladies back on the field!" Coach called.

"Dang. I gotta go. But I'll see you later, all right," you sighed, turning around and walking back over to the girls game.

"Yeah, I'll see you later," he smiled, watching you walk off.

"Definitely."

Needless to say, you were cheesing from ear to ear when you got back to Molly and Casey.

"That was adorable," Molly smirked, throwing an arm around your shoulder.

"You two look cute together. It looks like you make each other happy," Casey agreed, getting your other side.

Just as you were about to respond, shouts started coming from the boys side.

The three of you turned around, only to see Daniel get tripped by Bobby, Danny getting back up and socking him in the face, the coach throwing him out of gym.

"This school sucks, man! It sucks!" He spat, turning around and storming off.

Molly winced, the three of you watching him angrily walk away.

"Not cute."

𝒍 𝒂 𝒓 𝒖 𝒔 𝒔 𝒐

Now the next day, you and your friends were in the lunch line, waiting to get your food, until you spotted Daniel from across the way.

You turned to them mid-conversation and gave them the look, the two of them rolling their eyes.

"I don't know why you keep asking permission," Casey shrugged, grabbing an apple.

"We know you wanna. Just go," Molly assured.

You nodded and quickly turned around, speed-walking over and sliding your tray in the empty spot next to him.

"Hey, Danny," you smiled.

"Hey, (y/n/n), how ya doin'?" He smiled back.

"Not too hungry today?"

"Nah, not really,"

"Here, have some pie. I made it myself," he grinned, taking a piece of pie off the buffet table and placing it on your plate.

"Why, thank you," you nodded in a fancy voice.

"So how you likin' the valley so far?"

"Eh, it hasn't been dull," he shrugged.

"Was Newark dull?" You asked, looking down at your tray and placing an orange.

He turned to you, "How'd you know I was from Newark?"

"I asked," you tried to muffle your smile.

"Oh, yeah? You askin' about me now?" He smirked.

"Maybe," you teased. "I wanted to get to know you."

"Then how 'bout you get to know me..." he leaned in, making you flush.

"All right then, you sitting with anybody?" You smiled.

"With you, if that's okay," he smirked again.

"Sounds great to me," you picked up your tray, him doing the same as you two walked to checkout.

"Hey, I'm sorry about the soccer game."

"Eh, thems the breaks," he shrugged.

"Well, yeah, you remember the ass from the beach? The one that broke my radio," you started.

"Oh, yeah, King Karate," he scoffed.

"Yup. He's my ex-boyfriend," you sighed.

"Oh, that's good to know."

All of a sudden, Daniel began to talk to himself.

"What're you doin'?" You asked.

"Oh, nah, it's the little voice in my head. Tellin' me I gotta be some kinda nuts to be talkin' to you," he joked, paying for your lunch as the two of you got to the front of the line.

"Well, it doesn't matter anyway," you shrugged, walking ahead.

"Huh, why?" He asked, stuffing his change in his pocket before picking up his tray to catch up.

"Because it's over."

"How long is over?"

"Weeks."

He paused for a moment.

"Weeks? What's weeks? Two weeks? Three weeks? One week? How many is weeks?"

𝒍 𝒂 𝒓 𝒖 𝒔 𝒔 𝒐

"It's been like this for a month already. Why don't you ask him on a date?" Casey groaned, raking a hand through her hair as you two walked through the hallway together.

"Oh, I could never do that," you scoffed, turning the corner.

"Why not? You've asked out a bunch of other guys before," she cocked a brow.

"Yeah, well, Danny's different. I think I really like him," you smiled.

"Barf."

"What's this likin' stuff we're talkin' about?" Daniel asked, popping up in between you two.

"Yo-." "Nothing! Girl stuff, y'know," you shrugged, shooting Casey a glare as you cut her off.

"This is Casey."

"Hello," he smiled.

"Charmed," she sighed, pulling down her sunglasses.

Turning to Danny, your eyes narrowed at the sight of a new injury on above his eyebrow.

"What happened?" You asked, concerned

"Oh, it's terrible. I got this gigantic runaway zit," he joked, making you chuckle.

"Gross," Casey stuck out her tongue.

"But, really, I got into a lil' bike accident. No big deal," he clarified.

"What kinda bike you got, Daniel? Honda? Suzuki?" Casey teased, giving him a nudge.

"Actually it's a Miyagi-Turbo," he smirked.

"We're goin' to the arcade later. Wanna come?" You asked.

"Sounds good to me," he smiled.

"There this new game I wanna show you that has-." He suddenly stopped in his tracks as you three reached the outside of the school, Johnny and his gang waiting on their bikes right there.

"Hey, I just remembered...I forgot somethin'. I'll catch up with you guys in a minute," he quickly puttered, turning around and walking away.

'He's scared.'

"Danny, you don't have to run away-." "I'm not runnin' away from anything," he answered snappily.

"We've gotta deal with this-." "You deal with it your way, I'll deal with it mine, okay? I'll see ya, I gotta go," he waved you off, walking back the way he came.

"Daniel-." "Get off my case!"

You sighed, turning to Casey with a tired look.

"Real charmer you got there," she said, lowering her glasses.

"You just gotta get to know him," you assured, turning to face Johnny's crew again, who were all laughs and smiles at the sight of Danny running away.

"But I'm getting sick and tired of this."

You stormed over to them, Casey following close behind.

"(y/n/n), I-." "The hell is your damage, Johnny?" You spat, glaring at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he scoffed.

"Why can't you just leave Daniel alone? Why do you guys have to beat on him all the time?" You clarified, still very angry.

"'Cause he's touching what's mine!"

"I stopped being yours when you started locking lips with Rachel! Own up to your own damn mistakes and tell your gang of dipsticks to leave Daniel the hell alone, or it's me you're gonna be fighting next!"

The entire hallway let out ooos and ahhhs at the scene, but you didn't care.

You were gonna make Johnny stop if it was the last thing you'd do.

𝒍 𝒂 𝒓 𝒖 𝒔 𝒔 𝒐

[kaneaken]

iii. time to get serious with you

previous × masterlist × next

you know very few things about shikanoin heizou. however, what you did know was that he is extremely perceptive. he must have picked up on your 'character study' by now because you're no ninja.

so, if he was like any sane person you knew, he would not like the idea of being stalked and would've brought up his discomfort.

he would've kept his distance from you or maybe even reported you.

so, why? why is he being so friendly?

the past week or so, it's been:

' y/n, allow me to escort you to class! ' (despite his class being in the complete other direction)

or

' y/n, i heard you have rehearsals today, so here's your favorite drink to keep you hydrated! ' (how does he know that?)

or even

' y/n, let's eat lunch together! ' (his friends are literally side eyeing him as he walks over to you from his place at their table)

it confused you thoroughly. you fidget with your script as you try to rationalize heizou's actions.

maybe you should just give in and admit he maybe, just maybe, like you. you groan as you shake your head.

yeah, right, what did you do to get heizou to like you? itto might've said you were a 'catch,' but he was just being friendly.

" maybe you should just ask him "

you turn your head slightly to see nilou smiling at you. you jump slightly before calming yourself.

" geez, nilou, warn me next time you wanna intrude in on my thoughts "

" you look like you were in an internal battle with your feelings, n/n. i heard about what's been going on with heizou and this whole stalking thing "

" it's a character study, " you mumble

" alright, character study, but n/n, it's just better if you confront the problem "

" your solution is? "

" actually talk to him instead of just mumbling whenever he talks to you. you expect to finish your character study like this? c'mon time to finish it! "

you pause. she's right. you know she is, but talking to heizou seems like a challenge. you know next to nothing about him, so your conversation wouldn't last. also, you get nervous at the idea of being alone with him.

" hey, if you're nervous about talking to him alone, we could go to his next game and find him after? i'll be there, so you can just give me a signal if you wanna escape! "

" but- "

" no more buts, n/n. you've gotta settle this or else it'll weigh on your mind forever. if he's not the kinda guy you wanna be with, then just reject him and move on. if he is, then give him a chance "

and that's how you ended up here at heizou's soccer match on a nice saturday.

nilou sits next to you, watching the game and cheering along with the crowd whenever the team scored.

the match eventually came to a close and the spectators filed out of the bleachers.

" c'mon, n/n, let's go find heizou, so you guys can talk, " nilou says, pulling you along as she heads over to the field

" are we even allowed over here? " you ask nervously.

you've heard that one of the hall monitors is part of the soccer team. if he found out you were out here breaking rules, he could report you!

" don't worry about it! a lotta kids come over to congratulate their friends "

nilou beelines over to heizou as you think about what you should say. after congratulating him, what should you say?

you don't have much time to think it over as you are face to face with heizou in less than a second.

" hi, y/n, didn't expect to see you here! it's a nice surprise though "

" yeah, we had a day off from rehearsals, so we decided to come watch, " you tell him, " you guys were really good out there "

you give him a small smile. you notice his eyes slightly widen and his cheeks warm.

" hehe, thanks. me and the team appreciate all the compliments "

nilou nudges you once a silence falls over you two. you slightly turn to her and she whispers into your ear:

" now ask him if he's free next saturday "

" huh, why? "

" our show's opening is then remember? you saw him at his best. he should too "

you hesitate for a second before nilou whispers again,

" you're the main lead in this one and i know you've been working really hard in this role. worst that can happen is you mess up a line and have to improv. or maybe he just doesn't show up "

you turn completely back to heizou

" uh, you wouldn't happen to be busy next saturday, would you? "

" huh, me? no, nope, i've got an open weekend! "

" well, if you don't mind, not that you have to, but do you want to come to our upcoming show? "

" huh? " you see heizou slightly deflate before he smiles

" i'll be there for sure! i'll bring the boys too "

" we'll see you guys there then "

you bid each other goodbye and nilou pats you on the back once you reach her car

" proud of you, n/n! now we just have to give our all at our show! "

" you really thought they was asking you out on a date? " sacaramouche laughs, holding his stomach

" y/n's invitation is at least a step forward, yes? " kazuha says, patting heizou on the back

" at least one of you knows how to support me, " heizou mumbles

" i didn't even say anything? " xiao says, putting heizou's bag in the car

" so, are you buying y/n flowers for after the show? " kazuha asks, " if so, i believe the flowers you bought last time will work well "

" i'll buy 'em for you the day of them. my neighbor needs some more seeds for her garden, so i'm passing by the shop anyways, " scaramouche says, taking his seat in the car

" i knew you cared about me, scara! "

" uh-huh. "

taglist... @duckyyyx

[garykingz]

The smoke from the soccer boy.

You hated lectures, and you knew all too well that you could get that studying done better alone. So, whilst hiding under the university's bleachers, you try to do so. That studying becomes null when you notice the loud, cocky goalkeeper on the field across from you... and you were smitten.

Fluffy shit.

(AN: This is movie!Warren. Not the real life guy.)

—

Welp. Here you were again. You watched between the chairs of the bleachers as the Kentucky university students played their usual soccer – they were sure as shit serious every time you sat here and watched. You never watched in a creepy way; you were merely just bored each time you came here to skip a certain lesson. Or more, skip a seminar that lasted like two hours.

But since the boys gave you some little entertainment as you skipped, you supposed it wasn't so bad. Sometimes you'd bring a book. Or text your friends on your flip phone with a cute heart charm that hung from the bottom.

It'd been a few weeks since you started doing this and you wanted to feel guilty. You did a little. But you would've rather read or studied in peace under the bleachers in that time rather than listen to a lecture.

As you pulled your phone from your pocket to check the time, you smiled. Two hours was good. Placing your phone on the seat in front of you and pulling out a book you'd been reading the last couple of days, you leaned against a pole that kept up the seats. You hummed softly as you flicked the pages with grace; your eyes dancing across the words. This was better. Much–

"Fuck you, Warren!"

"You wish you could, Jake!"

Well, fuck. There went your damn peace. You let out a soft sigh before going back to your book. You were sure they would pack up soon. They had to. Right? They usually did already but you assumed this was taking longer for some reason.

"Lipka, aggressive touch!"

You could only make out chuckling after hearing what you assumed was the couch yell out. God, just leave.

"And that's a win for me~"

"Why you cryin' for, huh?!"

  "Ooooh! Look at that, gorgeous catch. By me."

Whoever that was talking the most was the one who kept pulling you away from your book. You finally had enough and closed the book with an annoyed expression pressured into your face. As you stepped a little closer to the bleachers to see, you glanced up and down the field until–

"Warren, good catch!"

Him? Oh. Oh, he was pretty. He was taller than the rest of the boys but that wasn't the only thing that made him stand out. He had his brown curls pulled back into a small ponytail at the nape of his neck while wearing the most arrogant smirk across his face. It should've looked that way at least. But it didn't. He looked… like he was the main character to your favourite romance YA novels.

Your hands reached out a little as your fingertips pressed against the inside of the bleacher seats as you peered through them. This Warren was playing goalkeeper. Before you knew it, you kept your eyes on him the majority of their play. You watched as every now and then he would pull his white gloves tighter onto his hands and then wipe dirt from his face with them. You watched in awe as his shirt would lift just that little every time he jumped and stopped the ball. And he was good at that too. Really good.

You didn't know that you ever cared for sports this much. But with your eyes dancing over Warren's every move – you sure as hell liked whatever this sport was. …If you even remembered half the time what you were watching.

When you heard a bell ring and the boys finally stopped playing, your eyes widened. Oh, shit. Had you actually wasted your whole time watching this damn game for a cute boy? That wasn't unlike you to get smitten but the whole damn lesson? Reality check – you were supposed to be studying.

As you pulled your flip phone from the seat and placed your book into your bag, you turned to walk away when you noticed Warren with two other boys, talking and laughing together. His smile was… really beautiful. You were surprised you hadn't seen him on campus before. Well, you were glad to know your hiding spot was going to shed a little entertainment now at least.

And it did. A whole two weeks passed and you kept up your streak. The Tuesday and the Thursday, you skipped that damn same lecture. You did get some studying in – you weren't going to slack off completely… but you sure did abandon your book more than a few times to watch Warren between the bleacher seats again. Damn it. You hated how charming you thought this guy was. Sure, you hadn't breathed one word to the man but… you were just as sure you were going to at some point. …Right?

When you heard the bell ring for next classes; you picked up your book that had only been flipped a few pages since sitting down. Oops. You made sure you were going to read more next time. When you placed them into your bag, your eyes looked between the bleacher seats once more. And when you did…

"Warren, come on, man!"

You felt your heart race in your chest as you had your back against one of the beams that held up the seats. You held your bag to your chest as you clutched it tightly. He was looking over to you. No – he was looking at you.

Those seats weren't making you completely invisible and you knew that. But you knew they wouldn't notice you while playing their games. …That wasn't until that bell rang and your eyes met with his. "Oh, God," you whispered under your breath. You couldn't move now. You couldn't leave when they were now leaving so quickly.

The way he pushed his brown curls back out of his face with his gloves fingers; his smirk on his face for that small moment before he turned to you. He looked so serious when you met eyes with him. He didn't see you… He couldn't have. It was Warren; he would've smirked or given you a wave at least. It was Warren Lipka, afterall.

Ten minutes must've passed as you stayed there. You had to make sure they finally left. Sure, you were going to be late for your next class but you had to know they– he was gone.

Now; when that Thursday came around, you questioned whether or not to go back to your usual hiding spot while you ditched. You knew you were bunking off under there way before you even noticed Warren so, it shouldn't have stopped you. But somehow, you were hesitant. You were hesitant to be caught. …And then… as you drew closer to the bleachers and the soccer field was empty of players, you held your bag under both your arms in front of you.

"Look at you, that's some moves you got there."

His voice rang in your head and, annoyingly enough, it caused you to bring a small flustered smile to your face. God, were you smitten.

Fine.

You said to yourself before walking over to those same seats. Your shoes grazed against the grass and you made your way over. As you finally walked under as you have done many times before, you pulled your bag from your shoulder and dug around inside for your book. When you took it out and placed the bag on the floor, you were surely enough ready to actually get some studying in.

So, you thought.

When you looked up from taking your book out, you noticed a boy on the other side of the seats. He stood facing the field, back to you as he held one hand in his pocket and his other to his face. Your eyes danced up his body, from his jeans, to his red plaid jacket that hung over his shoulders to his– …His dark brown curls that blew in the wind every now and then.

Warren?

As the wind blew his hair, you noticed there was smoke spurring out into the breeze from his face. That smell… Was that weed? You almost doubted it was Warren for a moment before you heard him sigh.

"Enough of this, hm."

That voice. That deep, husky sounding voice. It was Warren Lipka, alright. What the hell was he doing? Wasn't there practise today?

You couldn't help but look through the bleachers at him, your fingertips pressed against the back of one of the seat rows. He was quiet. It was unlike him – from what you'd seen he was so enthusiastic on the playing field. But right there, it seemed as though, for what you could tell, was a sense of sadness looming over him. Sadness? Lost in thought? Something.

Watching him take a puff from his joint and pull it away between his index finger and thumb, your eyes seemed fixated on him. That man you'd been admiring from afar on the soccer field seemed very different from the man you were longing at right now. Like, somehow, you noticed a puzzle piece was missing from his usual charismatic front you'd been so fond of.

When you leaned in a little closer, Warren blew the smoke from between his lips.

Cough. Cough, cough.

Oh, no.

You quickly covered your mouth and took a step back, your eyes narrowing now as you tried to keep as quiet as possible.

"Oh, and here I thought you were gonna stay quiet."

With your hands over your mouth, you felt your heart race in your chest as you took a step back away from the seats. Away from Warren.

As you keep stepping back, the heel of your foot catches your bag and you fall back, landing on the grass. "Ah! S– Shit…"

As you wince a little and collect yourself again, your eyes notice sneakers now facing you on the opposite side of the bleachers. When your eyes drifted up, one seat, two seats, three seats…

Warren was looking down at you, pulling the joint away from his lips again let out a small chuckle. "You're good but no ninja."

You're silent – like everything you might've ever planned out to say to him had been thrown into the trash. Into the landfill. You had your chance and now it was ruined. You felt your eyes water a little as you pulled yourself up, bringing your bag with you now.

"I… wasn't hiding," you finally replied.

"Hm?" the man hummed, raising an eyebrow. "Really? 'Cause it sure as shit looked like you were."

You felt your chest tighten and your eyes flicker away from the man you'd been admiring over the weeks. When you gulp, you grip the strap of your bag over your shoulder now and turn around to walk away. You'd never felt so embarrassed.

"What's your name?"

You suddenly stopped when Warren's deep voice perked your ears.

"Don't tell me you're gonna walk away and not give me a name."

With your brows furrowing more and more in a pondering state, you part your lips. Maybe it was stupid to just answer on the spot. Or maybe it wasn't. But he finally acknowledged you. After all this time, he…

"Y/N… My name is Y/N," you finally spoke; your back still turned to Warren.

"You like hiding under here, Y/N?"

You turn around a little when you hear his feet shuffle on the ground; walking around the bleachers now to stand a small distance away from you to your left. "There's better places to ditch on campus, y'know."

"It was quiet here usually," you replied softly. With your hand still around the strap of your bag, you bring yourself to turn to him fully now. "Not until recently."

"Soccer fields are pretty loud spaces. Not great for reading n' shit," Warren explained, his voice calm and collected; but that almost made you more nervous.

"Not usually. Only when… certain players are there." Your eyes finally meet his and he offers you another smirk.

"You didn't enjoy my play?" he asked with a teasing tone.

You were quiet for a moment before speaking up again, "You're… e– entertaining, for sure."

"Oh, I'm real entertaining," Warren replied, his brows lifting a little as he kept his gaze on you. It was intense enough to make you turn away, afraid he might notice the flushed expression on your face.

"So, what class?" he asked, taking another puff from his joint.

"What…?" you asked, your eyes flickering to him for a moment.

"What class have you been ditchin'?"

You swallow before taking in a small, sharp exhale through your nose. "Art 1800s history. It's nothing I can't learn on my own time. It's just a lecture class."

"...Art, huh?"

You noticed the shift of tone in his voice when you finally turned back to him; your hand not leaving the strap of your messenger bag. "Yeah," you confirmed.

"Well, how about we hang out not under the bleachers on Saturday," he said; more being a statement than a question.

"Are you… asking me out?" you asked, almost as if you were making sure of what he was saying.

A small chuckle leaves his lips which causes your eyes to widen. Oh, no. He wasn't. He wasn't at all. You're so–

"Yeah, Y/N. Art student to soccer student. Sound good?"

When your eyes search his face; your attention falls to his lips when he smirks again, pulling the joint to them once more before flicking it to the ground.

"You don't–"

"Y– Yes. Sure… I'd like that," you replied, almost too quickly as your words kept going.

Warren's cocky smirk turned into a playful smile as his hands made their way into the pockets of his worn jeans. "'Aight, then."

"Wait," you muttered softly. "Why'd… you ask? I mean…"

"These seats aren't an invisible cloak, sweetheart. It was nice to have a cute audience every time I played," he explained. As his brown curls blew with the slight breeze, you felt your brows raise a little. Gosh, he really was… beautiful.

"I see," you replied, your voice seemingly more soft than before.

"Art. So, you know Spencer, right?" Warren asked, his voice perking up a little.

"Spencer… Reinhard?" you pondered, wondering why he's asking about that boy so randomly.

"Mhm. Get him to give my number to you. I'll text you later."

When he gave you one last smile, he turned around and began to walk away. As your eyes were about to turn away from him, you heard his footsteps stop.

"I hope I'll see you Tuesday still, though, yeah?" he perked up, turning his head back to you.

You let out a small breathy laugh and nodded with a smile, "Of course."

[princessamericachavez]

911 6b 6x18 Spec

Idek what this is but I woke up thinking about it.

Based on a lot of BTS info regarding the season's finale, so possible spoilers ahead in between the speculation...

It’s been a terrible day. Eddie’s entire body hurts like hell and even after a long hot shower, he’s pretty sure there’s dust still clinging to his body. When he came back from his last tour, it took weeks to stop feeling covered in sand. He hopes this feeling will wash away sooner than that.

The shower’s stream stops somewhere in the house. Buck must be done.

He’d insisted Eddie go first, this being his house and all, and neither of them had had much energy left to argue. If he'd had the energy, he would've reminded Buck that he's been staying here for weeks now, ever since his loft flooded and his landlord turned out to have been skipping on a lot of safety inspections (Bobby nearly went nuts about it). He would've told Buck that he's never been a guest in this house. He would've told him to suck it up and just take the shower first and let Eddie do something nice for him after the awful day they had.

But he’d suspected Buck still needed a moment to process the whole bridge collapse incident. It had scared them all to death, but the look in Buck’s eyes as the 133’s ambulances took Bobby and Chim away was haunting. Like the sand, Eddie still hasn’t shaken off that feeling from Buck’s last brush with death. Now they got to add another trauma to the pile of worry over their loved ones.

“Is Chris in bed already?” Buck asks, stepping out of the bathroom, and running a towel over his wet curls. Half of his face is still scratched from the incident. Eddie pulls out a first aid kit from the kitchen cabinet and two beers.

“Out like a light. Didn’t even argue for more time for video games.”

Buck chuckles, and even that sounds exhausted. He’d been all energy back in the field, taking charge, jumping into action, pulling him, Hen, and Ravi together when they could’ve dissolved into the chaos of needing to do something. He'd been impressive out there. Now, he looks drained. For all the time Buck spends trying to fix things for others, Eddie worries sometimes that there’s no one there to mend the cracks for him when the day is done.

“Here,” he hands him over a cold beer. “Sit on the couch, we gotta clean those scratches.”

“I literally just got out of the shower.”

“Yeah but we were covered in dust and concrete, Buck. You don’t want any of those to get infected. Sit.”

With a dramatic sigh, Buck lowers himself onto the couch. He doesn’t flop on it like he usually would. Eddie wonders if there are any other wounds he’s not seeing. Not that Buck will openly admit it. He’s bad at asking for help, they have that in common. For now, Eddie will have to focus on the wounds he can see. He sits next to him on the couch and starts pulling out the supplies.

“Close your eyes,” he orders, not wanting to get any alcohol in them.

Buck does as he’s told, though there’s a little crease between his eyebrows when he does. The first touch of rubbing alcohol makes him wince. Eddie apologizes quietly. Buck says nothing but continues to hiss every time he touches his skin.

It occurs to Eddie halfway through the process that Buck is perfectly capable of doing this himself. He really doesn't need Eddie doting on him like a worried abuela, sitting so close their knees brush, gently holding his face to press the cotton against his open cuts. But Eddie isn't an abuela, he's a medic, and Buck is his best friend, and perhaps he hasn't quite washed off the anxiety of watching him rush into danger today. So what if he's being a little protective?

“Okay, done," he announces. "You’ve been literally struck by lightning and crushed by a truck and I don’t think I’ve ever heard you complain this much."

Buck opens his eyes and they crease when he laughs at the chirp.

"It's different. This stings."

"Uh-huh," Eddie teases, as he grabs his beer from the coffee table and leans back against the couch.

A little voice in the back of his head tells him he could move away now, that there's no need for his leg to be pressed against Buck's. The couch is big, big enough to fit them both and Christopher any Friday night. He could move. He doesn't. Neither does Buck, who stays with an arm against the couch's back and his body turned towards Eddie.

"What a fucking day," Buck sighs, deflating, as he takes a sip of his beer. He looks a little more at peace now than when they walked through the door.

"Well, we're all alive so I count it as a good one," Eddie points out.

"That's a very low bar."

"And yet you struggle with it most days."

"Ow, too soon!" Buck laughs, poking him in the ribs.

"Sorry, still not letting you live that one down," because I'm still not sure I've recovered from the scare. "Anyway, gallows humor aside, I'm glad everyone is alright. Good thing the 133 showed up when they did."

"Yeah, I don't think we could've gotten Bobby out on our own," Buck says, his voice dark again for a moment. Eddie is about to ask something, make sure he's alright, but he can see the exact moment his friend pushes the thoughts aside and fishes for a lighter tone. "So... heard you asked Bosko out on a date."

To say Eddie nearly chokes on his beer would be an understatement.

"What- No! That's not-!"

"C'mon, Eddie," Buck laughs. "I heard you asking her out for a beer when we were leaving. And you've been going on all those dates lately, and you always complain that you have so little in common with them, it was a matter of time until you ended up hitting on a firefighter."

"That's not what this is, seriously," he laughs.

"Then what is it, Ed's?"

"It's- Look... Lena met me at a very shitty time in my life, okay? Sharon'd just died, Chris was having nightmares every night, you weren't talking to me-"

"Wait, wait, wait. Is she the one who introduced you to street fighting?"

Eddie catches the accusation in Buck's tone immediately.

"It was meant to be a healthy outlet, a once-in-a-while thing. I'm the one who took it too far," he rushes to assure. "Anyway, Lena was a good friend, and I was an awful one. She called me out on it years ago, last time we talked. I just- I figured it'd be nice to catch up with her, try to be a better friend this time. That's all."

"Sure, that's all," Buck drawls, squinting at him with that same suspicious look he'd given him after the panic attacks when he'd thought he was dying and it turned out he was just dating the wrong person for the wrong reasons.

"Anyway," Eddie counters, "you're one to talk. Heard Lucy asked you out for drinks. And didn't I see you talking to Taylor before we left the scene?"

Buck's face twists with annoyance and Eddie is perhaps a little too delighted to see that particular reaction.

"That's not- Look, the thing with Taylor is over... it's been over for a long time now."

"Since she took your couch."

"Her couch, it was never mine," Buck points out emphatically. "Anyway, she's dating someone else now, some lawyer or something. And even if she wasn't, I don't think we'd ever consider giving it another try."

Good, Eddie thinks and doesn't even feel bad about it.

"And Lucy?" he probs. "Didn't you two kiss?"

"Once, when I was drunk off my ass. And... No. Look, Lucy is great. She's... whatever. But we're too alike. We- When we were together in the 118, it wasn't like it is with you. Lucy and I, we'd race each other into danger, we dared the other to go further, to do more, to be bolder. It was fun, but... it felt like a competition, not like she had my back."

Eddie hums, nodding. He remembers watching those calls from the dispatch. At the time, he hadn't considered that Buck was being particularly reckless —not more than usual, at least— but he remembers the anxiety that coursed through his limbs at the thought of not being there, of not being able to help if something went wrong, to catch him if he fell, to steady him if he tripped.

"I just think that we bring out the worst of each other, you know? That's not what I want in a partner."

Buck sounds steady when he says that last bit, sure of himself, of what he wants. It makes something inside Eddie's chest ping like a guitar cord being struck. He's been going on all these dates, talking to strangers, trying to figure out what he wants. He's never felt more lost. And here's Buck, suddenly sure.

"So what are you looking for... in a partner?"

"Someone who makes me happy," Buck says, meeting his eyes. "Someone who likes me for me, for who I am, flaws and all, who makes me laugh, who really knows me. Someone who makes me better, and who lets me be there for them to make each other better. Someone who really wants to share their life with me, because I'm tired of chasing after people begging them to stay just cause I'm terrified of them leaving. I want someone who wants to be here, with me, side to side."

Eddie tries to speak, but his chest is tight with a sense of recognition. Every word Buck is saying rings true inside him and it's suddenly overwhelmingly clear. Before he can find words, Buck goes on.

"I guess I just want someone that I love and that loves me, too. Someone to face the good and the bad together, to try again and again even when things seem too hard."

Eddie is not in the business of lying to himself... but maybe if he was he'd let himself believe there's a glint of recognition in Buck's eyes as well. He looks like he's figuring something out as he goes like he's finding the truth as he puts it out loud. He starts speaking faster, emboldened, but there's a crack in his voice too like emotion will shatter him.

"Just someone I can feel safe with, Eds. Someone who I know I can count on, no matter what, and that never makes me doubt my worth. Someone who is family, who is more than that, who makes me feel seen like nobody's seen me before. Someone who is my best-"

There are no words. And because there are no words, Eddie does the only other thing he can think of: he kisses Buck. It's quick, and short, with a hand up against the nape of his neck and his heart hammering loudly in his ears. A moment. It's done. It's been a long time coming, now that he admits it to himself, and now it's finally happened. Whatever comes next, there's no taking it back.

Eddie pulls back, breathing heavily. Buck's eyes are closed again, like he's waiting for the sting of rubbing alcohol, and his lips are still parted mid-word. In the seconds of silence that follow, panic rushes through Eddie like thunder (too soon, too soon). Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Buck opens his eyes and slowly lets out a breath. His eyebrows are raised high with surprise, with something like wonder. Blue irises scan Eddie's face, searching for something.

"Buck-"

There's a beat, when surprise turns into determination in Buck's face and he looks like he's about to do something very Buck of him like jump off a building or run through fire. Eddie catches barely a glimpse of it before he feels warm lips against his, a hand cradling his face, the weight of the other man pressed against his chest, slowly pushing him back against the couch's soft cushions.

It's been a terrible day, but it looks like this might be the best night of his life, after all.

[mememanufactorum]

Armored Core 6 sentence starters

* FEEL FREE TO SHARE AS YOU PLEASE, NO CREDIT NEEDED. CHANGE PRONOUNS OR ANYTHING ELSE AS DESIRED. Some spoilers may be included.

"Forged in ash, we stand as one!"

"It's just a job. All of it."

"Damn it! I can't die like this!"

"I... I just... I just wanted a callsign of my own..."

"Remember who you're messing with."

"You? You're just going to be tagging along on ass-wiping duty."

"Who gives a shit. We'll handle this mission ourselves."

"Why don't you start a sewing club together... and stitch that damn mouth of yours shut?!"

"Can't say I considered you a pro either."

"Tch... Does this guy ever shut up?"

"No luck with the sewing club, I see."

"You got lucky, merc. You were the only warm body they could find."

"Have fun watching from the sidelines."

"Know your place, you meager dog sitter."

"I think I'll enjoy doing business with you."

"Do try not to die like a dog out there."

"You're fast—guess you're sharper than they say. I'll have to step up my own game."

"The higher-ups are going to remember you now, that's for sure. As will I."

"Believe you me, I'm gonna put you to work!"

"Pitiful dog. I feel sorry for you, I really do. You may have survived a little longer, if only you had a different master."

"I hear you make fine hounds with the right training. Shame you'll have to die here."

"I'm fairly adept at analyzing systems— and manipulating them too."

"Can't get good help these days, can you? Would've been cheaper to just hire you instead!"

"It's been miserable knowing you, but... I guess playing nice is the smart choice here."

"They might be a pack of dumb animals, but at least they know quality workmanship."

"Anyway, you know the score. You made this mess, now you get to clean it up. Well, technically, I'm asking you to make a whole new mess... Ah, whatever. You know what to do."

"Guess I was right to pick you for the job."

"Well, I guess a dog can't choose it's master... But, still... Tough luck. I feel sorry for you, I really do."

"Looks like you ruffled some feathers."

"If you ask me, they're counting their eggs before they're hatched."

"I want you to be a walking advertisement for opportunities in destruction."

"You're not their mascot. Just focus on getting the job done."

"I'm sure our paymasters planned for that too. They got their 'walking advertisement' alright."

"I knew you could do it, buddy. I've got my eye on you."

"S-Stop that! How dare you attack me with my back turned?!"

"I don't know who put you up to this, but clearly you need to be disciplined!"

"I asked you a question! Don't you have any manners?!"

"You need discipline!"

"You've got skills... Shame you don't put them to good use."

"What?! Wh-Who are you?! Stop right there! How dare you pretend to be one of my own...!"

"Let me go, and you'll still come out on top... Understand?"

"You're quick on the uptake, aren't you? Splendid."

"You're not like those savages. Keep up the good work."

"Death and dishonor... Such is the oathbreaker's due."

"Heed me, oathbreaker... Treachery benefits none."

"That was certainly an adventure."

"Stubborn to the last... You don't know what's good for you."

"I have a question. The way you dealt with him— did [name] teach you that?"

"Some of us were worried that the enemy might have won you over. But it seems we can trust you after all. Glad to be on the same side."

"Must you always put your life on the line?"

"That's one way to light a fire under your ass— keep it alive for the next field trip."

"I'd say this calls for fireworks— and I've got something that'll blow them away."

"The anticipation's half the fun. We want our guests to enjoy this."

"...Looks like I was a little off. Well, close enough is good enough for me."

"You again? I'm a busy man. Far too busy for the likes of you."

"You're going to need more pawns on the board."

"...Of course. You're here to hawk your services again."

"You're a survivor, no doubt."

"You will be under my direct authority. Consider it a rare privilege."

"Looks like you're doing just fine, buddy."

"It's time to pay the piper."

"I've got your back, buddy. Hope you've got mine."

"Nice work, buddy. Glad you're on my side."

"It's a delight to enjoy the company of a visitor from so far away."

"Here's to new beginnings...! By all means, be my guest."

"A new friend from afar, just for me... What joy! Be still, my beating heart!"

"I'm waiting for you, friend... Fidgeting anxiously before the big dance. I do hope I'll keep up... But the anticipation is part of the fun."

"I've done my best to welcome you. I do hope you'll enjoy your stay, friend..."

"Don't forget, the guy's a rat. This won't be smooth sailing."

"Please! I wanted to surprise you, friend!"

"You've introduced me to such wonderful people! Wonderful things..."

"Let's trip the light fantastic, friend!"

"I'm starting to feel confused... It'd help if you could shut him up."

"Why, friend... This is a gift... Thank you..."

"Looks like he's dead. Good."

"Let's see how far they can fly... On borrowed wings."

"We will see if you can do it justice."

"Either way, you'll never spread your wings... At least not yet."

"A Raven is a symbol of resolve. The will to choose what one fights for."

"All right, we'll watch this one. See where they go on a Raven's wings."

"You're a famous mercenary now. Time to act like one."

"Tell you what, I'll watch and let you know how badly that goes for us."

"You can leave that to me. I know a thing or two about sharpshooting."

"A ragtag crew like this needs leadership."

"I know just the volunteer to go poke that beast with a stick."

"It's not every day you see competing forces working together like this."

"Act like a professional outfit and you might live."

"Who does that creep think he is? I ain't here because I want to be."

"Enjoy the show— and don't forget to smile."

"You don't gotta tell me. I ain't going down with you fools."

"I won't miss."

"That freak actually did it..."

"Did what, the bare minimum? This is just the first hurdle."

"Finally, someone with their head screwed on straight. Ever thought about switching sides?"

"You beg for your mother, we'll give you another!"

"It'll all be over once your sorry ass is dead!"

"I know you're laughing at me! What makes YOU so special?!"

"As if you hardly need help from me. When'd you get so good at exploring?"

"You can go home now— or follow me if you've got a death wish!"

"Go multiply your rifle training and see if you can learn to do something useful."

"Are we doomed to spark conflict wherever we go?"

"Figures. Seems both of us are too dangerous to keep around. And the higher-ups wouldn't miss an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone."

"So, buddy. Who needs you?"

"I don't want to dance to their tune, but this time, I don't have any other choice."

"You never change. You're not afraid to die... Or to kill."

"This has been a real eye-opener. You're strong—a threat...!"

"You're sharp... But that's not the only thing that makes you dangerous."

"I've fought alongside you several times but I never could figure you out."

"Tell me, buddy. What drives you?"

"Never failed to impress... But this isn't over yet."

"There's no graver threat than power without purpose!"

"Once something's alive, it doesn't die easy."

"I'll be well-rewarded when I bring them your head on a silver platter."

"I'll see that the unruly dog is punished and brought to heel. Oh, and of course, let's not forget the hound's master, either."

"This isn't an order—it's a legacy. My fallen friends entrusted this duty to me... And now it's my turn to hand it on."

"Feed the fire. Let the last cinders burn."

"I have one last job for you: Find your freedom."

"Been a while, tourist. Good to see you're still kicking."

"He asked me to look after you. Don't mind if I do."

"I don't just design weapons, you know. You'll see what I mean."

"Looks like they're falling over each other to get your autograph."

"You've been working like a dog... Must be [name]'s influence. Guy's a real slave driver."

"Where do they even find all these people?!"

"Seems they weren't so trivial after all."

"Let's get this trash out of the way first."

"You seem like you've lost someone too. Hope I'm just imagining things."

"Time to do or die. Let's get our laughs while we can."

"Hope you don't mind a little friendly competition."

"Yikes, tourist. Looks like they want you dead first. Tough break. It's not easy being popular."

"Looks like all your fans are dying to see you."

"Oh, we're serious. Right, tourist? Thing is, the serious ones die first— so we should at least pretend to be having fun."

"Someone has to put an end to this injustice!"

"Where did this... Resolve come from? You must have chosen something... Sacrificed something... You found your purpose... Didn't you, buddy?!"

"Always were at your best under pressure, buddy. But this ends here and now!"

"Must be heavy... This purpose you found. You've finally shown me who you are... It's too late now— but it didn't have to be this way!"

"Do him a favor, tourist. Remember him."

"You know... For a tourist, you've got a sense of humor."

"I saw the potential for our future within you. You and I... Could have walked together."

"You are strong. Dangerous. I... Will hold nothing back."

"I realize what you are... The spark of war..."

"I won't let you... Your fire must die!"

"You chose to carry our burden and right the wrongs of our past. I'm sorry... And I'm grateful."

"There's nothing left to bind you. Whatever choices you make now... I just hope you find your true potential."

"I'm not taking any more of your shit!"

"So you got a nice punch in, meh. Go buy a lottery ticket."

"They've called in backup. Shall we step outside and say hello?"

"And here I thought I'd just make some extra scratch. Guess I can settle the score at the same time."

"It'll be peace and quiet when you're gone!"

"Damn it... I would've had you! Don't you dare think you've won!"

"You fight like a bird in flight. You may yet fly higher."

"The others are so used to fighting and shouting slogans that they've given up thinking."

"I don't know who you are but you're dead!"

"We need to stand on our own two feet. That's how we'll win."

"We're war buddies now. Maybe I'll find a comrade in you yet."

"I thought you'd run away with your tail between your legs... Back for more, are you?"

"You fools don't know your place. You don't know when you're beaten. You don't even know what's good for you!"

"How dare you bare your filthy fangs against me?!"

"Howl into the abyss, dog!"

"Will nothing stop you, pest?!"

"Let me tell you my motto, tourist: Get your laughs while you can."

"I don't know what you're up to, but you better make it worth it."

"Looks like you made a friend of your own. But it's good to make a choice. Sit on the fence and you make no enemies... Or friends."

"Hope you've got room for more... I've brought a full course meal."

"Never thought the plan would go so wrong... But it's good teaming up with you again. Couldn't have hoped for a better silver lining."

"You're out of luck. There's only one person who can keep up with me."

"You're not the mutt I thought you were. You're below that—you are vermin!"

"You took on my hopes... My selfish dream. Now, I want to see the future that you choose. Whatever waits ahead... I'll support you."

"Whatever works to get your name out there. That's the benefit of being independent."

"Whatever happens, handle it. Just like you always do."

"As much as I'd love to stop and chat... I'm afraid we're rather pressed for time."

"I'm okay... Still alive, at least. A little rest... And I'll pay 'em back."

"You're daring, I'll give you that. But I've fried bigger fish than you."

"Humanity assumed its current form to fight itself. To choose from infinite selections. That is the essence of the human race... And the key to biological evolution."

"Tired as I am... I'm not ready to die yet."

"Shovel down your bland rations. Slurp your coffee-flavored sludge. Sure, it sucks—but that's being human."

"Don't tell me you like it here."

"He may seem like a pessimist, but he lives for the way things are. A life that can't coexist with what we want."

"Maybe now... I'll get some sleep..."

"Something's... Changed since last time. But you still haven't found a purpose."

"A chain made of human links is easily broken."

"You always did work hard for me... Handled all my requests... And, yet."

"Now that the choice is made, we have to carry on. No matter what obstacles confront us."

"Sorry, but I'm not laughing this time."

"I don't care about the big plan. I just want that damn freelancer DEAD!"

"We will bring order to chaos."

"You want some of this. I'll give it to you..."

"I know how this goes. This is where that grit of yours kicks in.

"It was always so easy for you... What makes YOU special?"

"I always... Envied you. The freelancer... Who had it all..."

"Let's meet this new age... Together."

[gruesomejack]

In Nobody's Eyes But Mine

The air was warm today. On top of the smell of damp grass and dirt, it was a perfect sort of day. Rabbit leaned against the fence surrounding the field and watched some of his classmates and upperclassmen practice for the game on Friday. There were other people around him-- He wouldn't be there if they weren't. There was no way on earth he'd get caught doing this by himself; he already had his locked tagged enough this year already. Queer, faggot, fairy-- The poor janitor was starting to get really tired of having to scrub it all off. The thing was, none of it was wrong. Wrong to say? Sure. But factually? It lined up. Rabbit spent his time reading books, sitting outside, and daydreaming of a kiss from Andy Campbell.

Fingers clinging to the chain link, he watched Andy take his spot at the pitcher's mound. He was well built, and his freckled cheeks were burned pink from the sun. Rabbit could see his blonde hair peeking out from underneath his cap, and it made his heart flutter.

"Andy!" The name was followed by a whistle, and suddenly Rabbit remembered he wasn't the only admirer here. The girls next to him bounced on their toes and waved, calling out again until the boy turned to look.

Green eyes peeked from under the brim of his hat, and a small smile pulled on his face. Andy waved at the girls until his attention his gaze slipped. Eyes on Rabbit, his cheeks pulled further into a grin, his wave a little more purposeful before he finally turned back to practice. Rabbit could've died right there and had no complaints at all. Pressing his lips together, he smiled to himself. Andy sure was something.

"Des!" The girls were jumping again, only this time calling out for his brother at bat. Fuck. Time to go. Rabbit grabbed his bag from the ground and started towards the exit. Andy glanced back one more time and frowned.

At home, Rabbit had a book in his lap and a coke in his hand. He was sitting on the couch, ignoring the way Bobby and his mother were arguing in the kitchen. They were always arguing. Taking a sip from the bottle, he turned the page and winced at the sharp sound of skin against skin; someone had gotten hit. A beat later, the baby was crying, and Bobby was storming from the kitchen and out the front door. Rabbit didn't see it well, but he would've sworn there was a red mark on his cheek.

"Mom!" The door opened again and in walked his least favorite person. Rabbit stiffened and avoided eye contact, staring at his book. "Mom! Where the hell is Bobby going?" Desmond didn't spare him a glance as he stomped through the front room and to the kitchen. Very nearly letting out a breath, he blinked as another body slipped inside behind him. Andy Campbell.

Blue eyes met green, and Rabbit's face immediately warmed. Andy smiled. He was still in his baseball uniform, which hugged his body in all the right places. Rabbit's gaze walked over him before he could stop himself, but the other boy either didn't care or didn't notice. Moving to plop himself next to him on the couch, Andy propped his arm on the back and snatched the soda from Rabbit's hand. He downed what was left until the very last drop, his pink lips caressing the mouth of the bottle in a way that made Rabbit want to lock himself in his room for a half hour. But he didn't; he sat and watched until Andy finished and used the empty bottle to give him a gentle tap on the head.

"Thanks, Jonny." He said with a grin before burping a little from the carbonation. "Whatcha reading today? Lord of the Rings again?" Andy leaned over to peek, his eyes squinting at the page. He smelled like sweat, and it shouldn't have been attractive, but Rabbit was shifting in his seat. Andy's skin was shiny from it, and a little oily-- It made him want to lean over and nose at his neck. Kiss it until it was purple, and the taste of salt was burned into his tongue.

"Jon?"

Oh shit. "U-Uh! It's a foraging guide!" He babbled and offered the book to him, which Andy took. "Oh, cool!" The other boy looked genuinely interested, flipping through a few pages and eyeing over the different plants. "So if I took you out camping, you'd know how to get us food and stuff?" He asked, his eyes soft and shiny. "I heard you're pretty good at fishing, too."

Rabbit lit up, an excited grin pulling across his cheeks. "Yeah! Yeah, I chose one that's centered around our area and focuses on all the local plants! I've been sort of experimenting already on my walk back home from school? I made a soda with pine needles and then I collected puffball mushrooms and-" As he kept going, Andy nodded along with a grin of his own, his eyes moving back and forth between those strange mismatched eyes and the soft pink lips on his face. Jon Stone was going to be his. He was going to taste those lips touched with coca-cola and pine, and he was going to watch him blush and listen to him laugh and-

"Hey! Quasimodo!" Desmond was back in the room, stealing the book from Andy's hand and using it to give his brother a good thwack. Laughing as Rabbit winced and cursed, he gave the novel a once over before tossing it in his lap. "I'd tell you to go call your own friend to talk to, but you don't have any." He said, "Least you're not reading any faggy shit this time." Looking at Andy, he pat him on the shoulder and nodded him along. "C'mon. Alan's dad is paying for pizza."

Andy watched him grab his jacket and hop back out the front door before looking back at Rabbit. Pulling his bottom lip between his teeth, he thought quietly. Would there be any harm in kissing him goodbye? So much. Especially if Desmond happened to peek back in. He watched the frustrated, sad look move through Rabbit's face and frowned. "I'll talk to you later, Jonny." He said before flashing a small smile, "Keep your chin up, eh? See you at school." Pushing himself up, he reached out to ruffle through the boy's hair before following his friend out the door.

Rabbit lingered on the couch. His eyes fell to the book, and his frown deepened. Fuck Des.

[stellarred]

STP S3 Fic: "Revelations" Pt 1

"Can I get you anything else, sir?"

Picard looked up from the Starfleet report he'd been analyzing to see Harvey standing there with a large teapot.

He smiled. "No thank you, Harvey. I'm fine for now."

"Very good, sir."

Picard watched as Harvey left the room. He leaned back in his large chair taking in the silence of the popping, warm fire behind him. Turning his head, he could see the autumn leaves on the tree branches outside his window fluttering in a cold, brisk wind.

He closed his eyes and took a slow breath. It was late November, and the creeping signs of colder weather and shorter days reflected the persistent melancholy in his heart.

Picard appreciated the stark beauty of winter, but in his heart he craved warmth and light.

The Sun...

Picard had been feeling depressed for the past few months. Although he'd sincerely made an attempt to nurture his relationship with Laris, it was as if something inside him kept saying, "Give it up. This is not for you."

He then thought of the afternoon when they had broken up. It was a sad day. It had rained profusely that late morning, and Picard could still see her leaving the chateau in a long, black cape for the transport pod to take her to the city.

Picard got up out of his chair and went to the window. He pressed the palm of his hand against the cold glass. The cold window was just as cold as it was that evening after Laris had left, as he stood staring out at the grey mist lifting off the fields in the distance. Slowly, the clouds in the night sky wafted away leaving bright stars smiling down at him. Comforting him.

Beckoning to him...

"What am I doing?" Picard whispered. He gazed up at today's sky, the rays of a golden sun burgeoning through thick clouds.

"Something is missing," he thought.

He turned as he heard Harvey return.

"Sir, you have a visitor," he said.

"A visitor? Who is it?"

Harvey shifted slightly.

"She requested that I not say, sir."

Picard's eyes widened. "She?"

"Uh yes, sir. She said that it was to be a surprise. "

Picard smiled and walked over to him. "Well, show her in."

Harvey turned and left the room. Picard was glad for the company. It had been a couple of weeks since he'd had any visitors or guests, except for a few simulcrae transmissions of Will and Geordi.

Picard turned as Harvey entered the room followed by a woman with shoulder-length brunette hair and wearing a shapely blue dress. He caught his breath when she smiled.

" Jean-Luc."

"Vash. It's you!" Picard smiled broadly as she quickly embraced him.

"It's been a long time," she said.

Picard leaned his face against her head; he could smell the familiar scent of her perfume, and he remembered the softness of her hair.

"What brings you to Earth? The last time I saw you was--," his voice trailed off.

Vash smiled. " Well, I've been on Earth for the past year conducting research with Dr. Raschmeier at the Daystrom Institute. "

"Volker Raschmeier? He's the foremost authority on the pre-dynastic temples of Atara IV."

"We're collaborating on a study. It's really fascinating."

"I never thought I'd see you again, Vash," Picard said breaking their embrace to sit on the sofa.

"Yes, our last time together was...interesting to say the least," she replied tossing her graying hair over her shoulder.

"Interesting is one way to describe it. I'm sorry for the way things transpired between us. The fact that...Q put us through that ridiculous Robin Hood ordeal didn't help either. I'm just glad you and my crewmembers weren't hurt in Q's game."

"It was a tense time. But, Q did prove that you love me, though," Vash said, her eyes twinkling.

Picard shook his head. "No, that was completely unnecessary and intrusive of Q. Again, I would've done the same for anyone," Picard replied.

He paused. "But, I think...he had another reason for why he did it."

Vash leaned in. "What reason?"

"Nothing, Vash. It was nothing. I just thought he, well...wanted you to leave with him because he didn't want you and I to..."

"To what?"

Picard shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He sighed and studied Vash's face, still beautiful with a few faint lines and greying hairs framing her features.

"Why did you leave with him?" he asked clasping his hands together.

Vash shrugged. "He told me that he could sense that I wanted adventure, that we had a lot in common, and that he could show me exciting things in the galaxy. It was fun, sort of. For a while, at least. " Vash's voice trailed off.

"May I ask what happened? Was Q a poor traveling companion?"

Vash rolled her eyes. "Well, I don't know, Jean-Luc. He was glad to have someone to be with. He seemed very lonely and faraway at times."

"Oh?"

Vash stared into space reflecting on her travels with Q.

"He and I got along for the most part. But, there were times when he seemed as if he wanted to be somewhere else. I just couldn't take it after awhile. He could be so arrogant. I had to beg him to take me to the places that I wanted to go. But he kept showing me things that he said--" She stopped and looked at Picard.

A moment of silence passed.

" He kept taking me to places that he said you would enjoy."

"I would enjoy?"

Vash sighed. " Jean-Luc, I swear he talked about you a lot. I mean, a LOT!"

Picard shrugged, and he felt his cheeks turn red. "Oh, hell. I'm blushing," he thought. Merde.

" I admit that I am too much in love with finding artifacts and how they can benefit me. That mentality doesn't exactly leave much room for understanding the fine nuances of interpersonal relationships. But, I could tell that you meant something to Q."

Picard held his breath. "I agree. He's always had a...respect for me. From an adversarial perspective. " He coughed slightly.

Vash raised her eyebrows.

"Are you kidding me? He has far more than respect for you. Like I said, he often went on and on about you. Jean-Luc this, and Jean-Luc that. Every time I even mentioned coming back to see you, or even sending you a transmission to share news with you, he brushed it off. Then, he would either ignore me for the rest of the day, or all of a sudden he wanted to cram as many excursions as he could into our plans."

"Well, Q has always been a mercurial sort. I'm just glad he's gone," Picard said. He then stood up and crossed over to the window to look out again.

"Really, Jean-Luc? Why do I get the feeling you're not?"

Picard turned, his hazel eyes flickering with irritation. He wasn't being honest, and he knew that Vash could tell.

"I...saw Q recently. He-" Picard stopped and resumed looking out the window.

"He died." A wave of sadness washed though his heart.

Vash looked down.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Why? It's over. He's gone, and he's not coming back. I think."

"He was special to you, wasn't he? Admit it, Jean-Luc. " Vash stood up.

"No."

"Well, you were definitely special to him. If I may be so bold to say, he had feelings for you."

Picard quickly drew an intake of breath.

"Vash, I--" he said, his heart pounding in his chest.

"I don't know. I personally don't miss him. But, looking back I don't think he was fully happy. I think his heart belonged somewhere else."

Picard leaned his forehead against the cold window glass. He closed his eyes.

"Just as...your heart belongs somewhere else, too," Vash quietly added.

Picard opened his eyes and turned towards her. He sighed.

"Do you want to stay the night? There are several guest rooms."

Vash shook her head. "No thanks, Jean-Luc. I'm staying in the city tonight. I'm leaving for the Daystrom Institute in the morning."

Picard smiled. "I'm glad you came by."

"It was my pleasure."

"I'll have someone show you out."

"No thanks. I know my way out. Take care of yourself, Jean-Luc. May I ask you a question before I go?" Vash asked.

Picard smiled. "Of course. Anything."

" Why haven't you found someone to share your life with?"

Picard looked down at the floor.

"Vash, it's..." he stopped. Not again, dammit.

"I don't mean to pry. Sorry. I can just tell that you lost something or someone."

"It's alright. It was complicated."

"Wherever they are, I'm sure they're thinking of you, too."

"I'm sure."

"Just never give up looking for what you really want. True happiness doesn't always arrive in the form that we dreamed of. Often what we have always desired and loved, what is good for us...has been in front of us from the very beginning. We've just been lying to ourselves. "

Picard stood silently as Vash turned and left the room.

The room was silent except for the soothing tick of the tall clock in the corner.

Picard once again went to the window and looked out. He felt a deep sadness throughout his body, a longing.

His hazel eyes looked upward into the sky, which was now a bright, clear blue with a few white clouds passing overhead.

The Sun was now shining.

Picard swallowed hard; he felt a lump in his throat. He closed his eyes.

No, he must quell this thought. How can this be? Has it been so bloody obvious all along? Is he this afraid? Is he so willing to torture himself like this?

Picard's voice trembled as he whispered,

"Q, I miss you."

[secretsthatwekeep]

So having a student teacher means I actually have time to write! Wow! Amazing! She is supposed to completely take over this week and next, soooooo here I am! I help here and there especially with our really low students and our students with special needs. 

I'm going through my pictures from the past four years and would like to share some memories and experiences that I didn't get to share with you. 

One of the bigger ones is my puppy dog. Bella girl is a sweet baby dog!! We love her so much. Rory loves throwing the ball for her and she brings it right back to him. She does a good job of going to him when I tell her to. She is very snuggly. So scared of the storms like dogs be. She is a stinky dog, but that be the dog life. 

2020 I started the school year out virtually. That was really weird. We were virtual until March. That group was a hot mess. I think they would've been anyways, but it was much worse because of covid. 

For my 26th birthday, Jessica threw me a surprise party. I was supposed to go out to lunch with Sara that day, but then she "canceled" plans with me and when we turned around and came home, John and Jessica had worked together to have all of my sisters there with a cake that was misspelled. haha Jessica wrote on the cake "Happy Birtday." She didn't realize it until I took a picture with the cake. Good laughs.

Oh my goodness, Faith's wedding!!! When Faith got married, we had a bachelorette party the night before and the sisters and my Mom all stayed the night together!! It was hilariously awkward. We played silly games and I won a card in a card game that was "Most likely to be the Mom of the friend group" and then we had a nice little conversation as a group where the sisters acknowledged in front of my Mom that I was more of a mother to them than she was. That was really really really fun. :l Faith was such a beautiful bride. It makes me sad now to reflect on this day. You never know what you're really walking into when you get married. What could happen? How will this person change? It's like you're marrying that person at that moment, but you're actually marrying 20 versions of that person over time. How will time and experiences change your person and test your relationship? If she had known, she wouldn't have married him. She's already shared that with me and that is a lot. That's a big thought and feeling to have, and what do you do with that? 

I was closest to Faith growing up because we were closest in age and shared all of the experiences at home together. She followed in my footsteps in soooooo many ways- band, track and field, love of reading and writing, etc. It was so weird to watch her change and become her own person when I left that house. She became super reclusive when she went to Bourbon County. She had no friends she hung out with because a lot of her friends growing up were my friends. She became super absorbed into internet culture and she found a friend in England to be her confidante. She did follow me to college and her path was this weird rickety one where she was like split into this person of being mothered by me and trying to make her own person. She really struggled with identity and with some mental illness during this time. It was hard to know how to help her in a friend/sister way during that journey and not in a motherly way. My relationship with Faith is so weird because I've always felt it was more sisterly and friendly than with Jess and Tabby because we are closer in age. Maybe that's something to think about. Once she moved to Louisville, the relationship felt severed. I would visit her in Louisville and every single time I visited she would make snide comments about how she didn't understand why I wouldn't also move to Louisville. Even as recently as this year she has made these comments and I know part of that is due to loneliness. She latches to a person and makes all of her friends through that person. She reallllly did that with Colson and once people started not spending time with him because of all of his creepy stuff, she felt so lonely and it's really hard to watch from afar. I worry about her a lot.

Have I shared my Hawaii experience with you? I think I did, but can't remember?

Once Rory was born, I didn't leave my house for like three-four months? I just stayed home. Then when I did start going out because I had to go back to work, the first few outings were really hard with a baby. Lots of crying. Turns out Rory was really hungry!! I wasn't producing enough so we started supplementing at four months. Made me feel bad because I didn't know!! There are so many things!! Rory was soooo tiny in comparison to Jonah. Big ol head though. Looking through all of these pictures makes me miss my tiny boy!!! We had so many cute themed outfits for hims!! His little smile!! The way he would suck his thumb sometimes. Jonah didn't do that! So cute. AHHH His first Christmas!!! I wish I could just sit and share all these pictures with you and talk about all of the things. 

Stopping my memory sharing here.

I am currently getting back into the struggle of work, clean, bathe, sleep- repeat, repeat, repeat. Having a student teacher is amazzzziiinnnnnngggg. I will never go back!!! I get to put in grades on time!!! I get to work with kids individually and in groups while she is teaching something else. I get to catch up on emails and creating assignments!! It's the best! I would really be struggling without her. Our new reading program this year is a lot and it's nice to learn it together and point out the things she needs to know and just have a partner through it. There are pros and cons to our program. Some pros-it provides a workbook to each kid and the texts are super rigorous. Some cons- it's TOO rigorous, some of the texts are super boring, and it is tough to learn a new program with absolutely no training on the program. We are getting through though!

I'm thinking about fall plans. My Mom is coming up on the 7th of October to "help." I think I am going to take a day off work that week to do some fall things with her and the kids. Maybe go to an orchard or find some changing leaves or something. The wedding day on Saturday is gonna be sooooo stressfulllll!!! Not prepared for Jessica's emotions. The west sixth farm is open that evening to the public if you wanna go get some cider and watch from afar. haha Jonah's birthday is the day after the wedding. We are having a spooky halloween theme and I'm excited for it! Makes me sad that time be a beech again, but oh well, I cannot stop her. 

Your deep and thoughtful posts are so full of emotions and deepness!!! I'm over here like I like this song cause it sounds cool and you're like I like this song because it speaks to my SOUL. Like alright girl!! Feel those feelings!!! I'm really glad that you did get out of that relationship and I'm sorry that it got to a really horrible and abusive place. The anger I feel stems from many places. The biggest being that she was an adult and a teacher in a position of power that took advantage of a child. Obviously I don't teach high school age children so maybe I don't understand the lure?? (That sentence makes me gag, sorry) But also that is just so not okay!!! I'm sorry if talking about the Faith stuff stirs that up and bothers you more than other topics. I feel angry because I also didn't and haven't... like...reported her. The last time we had talked about it and you shared that she was working somewhere else with more kids or in another position of power and just being made this "great example" just really makes me wanna fight someone!!! Like!!! You are a bad person, ma'am!!! Then there's the anger that is at myself in my guilt that I shared with you. All of the what ifs just haunt me every single day. I know you were on your own journey (as was I), but there's still this spot of blame that I put on myself that I could've prevented all of that. But what ifs just make us sick and don't fix anything from the past! Please feel free to NOT protect me from anything ever!!! I am a big girl haha I've been through hell and back times three over and I promise I can handle it. Will it be upsetting? Yes! Will it make me feel feelings? Yes! But you're the one who had to live through it and I think even if not with me...that it needs to get out! I hope you've been able to talk about it with someone somewhere. I'm happy you share with me anything that you share. (Even if I am a forgetful fool who has early onset alzheimers)  Even when what you share is hard to read. Because it's a part of you and your life and I want to know it all if you want to share it. There are some things I think I'll keep locked in a box forever because I don't want to share those things and that's okay! We just have to share what we are comfortable with the other knowing and at a time that is best for our journey!!! 

I really hope your music sharing turns into something with Andy. It sounds like that is part of your dream. Maybe? Making it big? That would be really, really cool!!! A Fighting Futures tour!! Quitting your two jobs to do the dang thing!! Even just getting to record a song with Andy would be pretty neat. I hope that it works out and that he enjoys your music. Sometimes your songs get stuck in my head and I gotta listen to them. Then I'm like curse you zoe for your beautiful angel voice being in my brain!!! hahahaha

[2oolander]

mini-essay because i just watched moneyball and the mighty rio grande is like blasting in my headphones rn. please keep in mind i am sobbing my fucking eyes out and this gonna be extremely incoherent and disconnected when i reread it in the morning.

it's hard not to be romantic about baseball. it's a metaphor, of , but it's one that makes sense. baseball is a labor of love. your pour your heart into this group of people you don't know, and you ride the ups and downs together. this is true of any sport, of course, but i think the reason that you see so much love and passion go into baseball is because it's really something special.

in the context of moneyball (a movie that i wasn't expecting would rip my heart out and tear it into a million tiny pieces), every little thing is important. all of these guys, none of whom were loved by major league baseball, hung onto it for dear life because that;s what it meant to them. billy would've left the mlb altogether if he didn't love it as much as he did. all of the players on the 2002 oakland a's loved the game of baseball so much that they had something keeping them in it. they're not getting anything out of it except the validation that they are worth it. peter mentions this towards the end of the movie when talking about the potential contract billy has with the red sox. he says that the money means what it means to any big league player- that they're worth it. at the end of the day, all of these people just want their love to be worth something. don't we all.

there's another thing that i think ties into this, and it's the song that billy's daughter records for him. like, specifically the version that's at the end of the movie. she's telling him, just enjoy the show. enjoy what is happening in front of you right now, without worrying about what it's going to mean for you later. love the game. live in the moment.

and of course, that's true for a lot of things, but in the realm of baseball, just love it now. don't think of what could happen while you don't have to. the chicago white sox are perhaps the shittiest team in baseball right now, but if there are fireworks at comiskey the fans are happy. the colorado rockies suck, but if kris bryant ever makes it off the injured list the fans will have a fucking field day. the cubs might not see another world series for another 108 years, but what matters is that they're pretty damn good right now. and i think that's pretty beautiful.