#they were so real for making a dedicated gay bar

[eurodynamic]

DICKY TWISTER — Vista Del Rey, Heywood Cyberpunk 2077 (2020) dev. CD Projekt Red

[madlori]

I'm asking this to you because you're the only person I know who's been around fandoms for so long — do you find this shipping-situation weird? I've been in many fandoms but I've never really seen this insistence on there being only one acceptable ship for a character and encouraging the idea that anything other than the norm is almost sacrilegious. Almost every big fandom over the years have had multiple conflicting pairings, take for example, Marvel. Even works of media that have a canon romantic pairing have had fans who ship others with the leads (that was what shipping was tbh) and no one has ever shown up to their doorsteps with pitchforks in hand, at least not that I'm aware of. So I guess I'd really like your opinion on why you think this is happening now? Have things always been this way, just not in plain sight? Is this just the new fandom culture that is developing now with the influx of younger people? Or is this fandom an aberration where a group of people are so used to being the majority that they simply aren't taking well to things not going their way?

I've been thinking about this today, and I'm still not sure what I think.

I've been in fandoms with a hugely dominant ship before. I've been in fandoms that had ship wars. I've been in fandoms with a lot of peacefully co-existing ships. I'm not sure this fandom is really all that different. To answer your first question, no, I don't find it all that weird. In fact I sort of expected it.

Let me tell you a story about the Brokeback Mountain fandom, which managed to have a ship war despite having really only one ship, the canon ship. So BBM fic fell into several broad categories, the biggest of which were fix-the-ending/canon divergence fics and the straight-up AU fics (I wrote one of each, lol). Post-canon fics weren't as common, because you had to deal with one half of the canon pairing being...well, dead.

There was a post-canon fic that gained a lot of fans...and when I say "fic" that's really an understatement. It was a SAGA, and I don't use that term lightly. It was a series of like...6 or 7 epic 100K+ word fics and it was over a million words total. The author would put out more than one 5K chapters per DAY. I'm still in awe of this woman's output. But it was the content that created the issue.

(Brief recap for those who have not seen BBM - two ranch hands in the 1960s, Ennis (Heath Ledger) and Jack (Jake Gyllenhaal) spend a season herding sheep together, have sex, form a bond, then separate to go about their expected hetero lives but get together for fishing trips every year or so to have sex and spend time together. Jack wants more, Ennis is terrified. Both marry and have families. Eventually Jack dies in what is implied to be a gay-bashing but who knows, and Ennis makes his peace with the love he'd felt for him)

The saga picked up a couple of years after the film's events. Ennis decides to tentatively explore what being queer means, goes to Laramie, finds a gay bar, and very cautiously enters. Through a Series of Events he gets mixed up in an assault there and befriends a local sheriff's deputy, who is also gay. They begin a relationship.

Now, this series was COMPLEX. A huge cast of characters, a long and thorough evolution of this relationship, a lot of angst over Jack's memory, and it really worked for a LOT of readers. The new love interest she created was a really great character.

For others...it did not work and they hated it.

The animosity between fans who loved this saga and those that did not grew pretty heated. This was like '05 so there was no twitter or tumblr, this was all on LJ and dedicated fandom forums (some of which banned discussion of this fic for this reason), but there was doxxing and namecalling and real vitriol.

I guess my point in all this is that when there's strong feelings, some fans will find a way to be horrible to each other.

I was in the Sherlock fandom, another fandom 98% dominated by one ship. There were other ships, but somehow they seemed to co-exist mostly peacefully barring some snide remarks and rude comments (I could be wrong about this, if you asked someone who shipped a non-Johnlock ship they might have a different answer). No, the insanity in the Sherlock fandom was not ship-war-related.

I was also in the Criminal Minds fandom, which has a whole bunch of disparate ships and no ship wars that I can recall.

Then there are other fandoms, like Avatar, with TERRIBLE ship wars that are still going on.

I don't think the situation in 9-1-1 is as unique or different from other fandom wanks as has sometimes been asserted. I think terrible fandom wars are sort of inevitable, whether they're ship related or not. But for what it's worth, here are some of my thoughts on what's going on here.

A loooooong time (5.5 seasons) with one very dominant non-canonical queer ship. No other ship really ever approached the level of saturation or devotion of Buddie.

A pervasive belief that this ship might possibly become canon. That's a feature a lot of other ships do not have.

A lack of intense devotion to any of the other love interests. BuckTaylor was never a challenger to Buddie. Neither was Eddie and Shannon, or anybody else. It's hard to fight when there's no worthy challenger.

But now? BuckTommy is not only canon, but it has a lot of fans. It's a threat. And it's not only a threat in a feelings kind of way (as in, people like a thing that is not the thing I like and it makes me upset) but there's a perception that it's an ACTUAL threat, as in if people like this ship and promote it, it could cause it to become a permanent relationship (the degree to which fan response actually affects how the show unfolds is...debatable).

I do not personally think this is the case, but some fans strongly believe that Buddie could still happen if it weren't for BuckTommy. So if you're still wanting Buddie and believe it will or could happen, the existence of an alternate love interest represents a direct obstacle to that happening. That's a heck of an incentive to hate that competing ship. I get it.

That...might be a somewhat unique situation. There's a fight now because there's a challenger who might actually stand a chance.

This goes along with what we saw in the immediate aftermath of 7x04. I read someone else say (apologies, I don't know who it was, feel free to @ me if it was you and I'll credit you) that the early post-7x04 enthusiasm and acceptance of Tommy reflected the belief that he was temporary. A lot of folks thought it was just a way for Buck to get with Eddie, like, very soon after that. But the more time went by, the clearer it became that this was not the plan or the intention. So the mood soured for those who were still pulling for Buddie.

Other fandoms I've been in with a hugely dominant ship...Sherlock and X-Files are the two that spring immediately to mind...there was never a challenger with any legs. X-Files fandom wank was between the ship and the...lack of ship, shall we say. But a concrete, tangible "opponent" makes a fight so much more visceral, doesn't it?

I do think there's been a fandom shift towards needing ships to be canon that I don't really get, but it's there. There's been a lot written about fandom culture in the last ten years, the breakdown of boundaries between fans and creators, the access to those creators, a sense of ownership/entitlement, purity culture, obsession with shipping "correctly" (which leads into wanting things to be canon for the validation)...these are all newish features. So pile that on top of 9-1-1 having a longtime single ship that's legitimately threatened for the first time in its existence by a competing canon ship and it's kind of a powderkeg.

No wonder it's caught on fire.

[sushiwriterhere]

a little bit of fun

this is my attempt at a drabble (1.8ish-k words), this is for/dedicated to/inspired by @laracrofted and @theharddeck because sometimes a threesome can be and is something so personal and healing <3 i hope you enjoy!! i have nothing else to say for myself lmao - minors DNI! warnings: threesome (mmf, and the boys do kiss hehe), dp (PiV, unprotected) + ass play (oops lol), spanking, dacryphilia a bit, pining if you squint tagging?? @sebsxphia @sometimesanalice @waklman @joaquinwhorres @gretagerwigsmuse @lewmagoo @genius2050 @seresinsweetie

You're midway through taking your first sip of the perfect ice cold beer when a deep voice behind you intones, "We saw you from across the bar, we liked your vibe."

Turning around slowly, you turn a very unimpressed gaze upon Jake and Javy, both of whom are sporting shit eating grins. They're clearly amused with themselves.

"What is this gay lovers bit you guys are doing?" You raise an eyebrow at the pair, nodding your head at where Javy has an arm draped across Jake's shoulders. "And why do you think it's going to work?"

If you're honest, the two of them are a sight to behold. They both somehow glow under the artificial lighting of the Hard Deck, and their uniforms are too form-fitting to not be tailored, despite you knowing they're not. Truly, it's unfair how attractive the both of them are.

"It's worked before, sweetheart," Jake's smile is sharklike, but there's little real bite behind it. It's Javy you've got to keep an eye on.

"Thought we might try again." Javy lets his eyes scan your body lazily, not even bothering to hide the way his gaze fixates on the way your thighs press against the barstool and the way your tits strain against the sundress you'd thrown on.

"Well, you're shit outta luck. Not looking to get disappointed one more time today." You make to turn the barstool around, but then Jake's crowding you against the bar.

He's so fucking warm and solid against you, you almost don't know what to do. But you push weakly against his chest and try to make a help expression at Javy over his shoulder. He just shakes his head.

"Disappointed? Baby, if I remember correctly you were–"

You don't let him finish because you slap a hand over his mouth and exclaim, "Okay! None of that please. I'll get Penny to ring the bell if you finish that sentence."

Behind Jake, Javy just smiles warmly at you and his expression melts into something that sends a lightning bolt of arousal through you, "Just one drink?"

"Fine. One."

-

"Thought you said, uh, you didn't want to do this again," Jake's voice is strained with the way he's holding himself back from thrusting up into you. "Fuck, you're tight."

All you can do is moan in response as you drop your forehead to rest on his shoulder. Every single one of your nerves feels like it's on fire and you think you might be running a fever. Stradling Jake's hips and sandwiched between the two men, with Jake's cock already buried inside of you and Javy steadily sliding into you, your mind is swimming with arousal.

"Nah, our girl loves a little hate fuck." Javy emphasizes his last word with a little thrust, one that jostles both you and Jake up the bed just slightly.

Despite the copious amounts of prep and what feels like a good third of the bottle of lube Jake keeps in his bedside table (which he vehemently denies he bought just for when this keeps happening), you still feel the slight stretch as Javy inches inside you alongside Jake. You're panting and whining; you can't even bring yourself to care about the fact that you're supposed to not want this. The two of them are relentless, Javy behind you, Jake under you.

"Shit, shit, fuck!" You gasp out as Javy finally bottoms out. "Both of you aren't supposed to have huge dicks," You pause to let out a whine as Jake rocks his hips up just slightly, "That's against the laws of nature or something."

"The fact that you're talking so much means we're doing something wrong," Javy laughs lightly and smacks your ass in a way that makes you jolt.

"Shit, Javy, you gotta warn me before you do that." Jake attempts levity but you can hear the way he's fighting the urge to throw caution and coordination to the wind, press his feet into the mattress, and fuck you with abandon.

Javy doesn't respond, instead he makes his point by using one of his huge hands to grab your hip and the other to grab you by the ribs and dragging you back against his hips and down onto both his and Jake's cocks. A surprised groan leaves Jake and you squeal.

You bite Jake's neck to try and muffle the moans that are bursting from your chest at the way Javy's hands feel on you, the way Jake keeps petting your sides but also pinching your nipples. He usually complains the morning after, but never in the moment.

It would surprise most people, you think, the way the two operate in bed. Javy's usually confident in that quiet way that lets you know he's competent, whereas Jake is all ego. Every time you've found yourself in this exact position though, or some form of it, it's Javy who's in charge.

You're digging your nails into Jake's shoulders and trying to breathe through the onslaught of sensations as Javy sets a brutal pace, your forehead buried in Jake's neck. He throws his head back and pushes his hips up just as Javy pulls out and the way the two slide past each other instead of with each other might haunt you for the rest of your life.

When Javy puts a hand on the back of your neck for leverage, you know you can't hold on to your ploy any longer. You lose yourself in the way your bodies move in tandem, the way Jake moans and pants are right by your ear. Javy spanks you again and you feel the tears on your cheeks before you register that you're crying at all.

Then Javy's lips are up against your ear, "Fuck, look at you, taking our cocks so well. You're so fucking perfect, made for this, made to be stretched out and fucked."

Jake groans when Javy's lips brush his over your shoulder and then he's babbling too, "Shit, Javy, I can feel her squeezing us. Baby, I can't believe you pretend you don't love this."

You think you might be trying to defend yourself, might be trying to tell them that it makes it fun when everyone involved knows that this is how you'll end up anyway, but you can't form words. All your attention is on the way the curls at the base of Jake's cock are rubbing on your clit, the way one of Javy's hands has sneaked around to the nipple he's learned is more sensitive than the other. You think you might be drooling as you moan mindlessly.

Then, the moment of light tenderness is over when Javy leans back slightly and chuckles darkly before saying, "Jake, watch this."

His free hand grabs your ass and spreads you open. Then he spits. You moan at the sensation of the coolness against you, til he gently prods at you with his thumb and you choke off the sound. You jerk away from the sensation involuntarily, a little too fucked out to control your body, a little too turned on to do anything but gasp out a desperate please.

"Fuck, Javy, do it again, she loves it." Jake lifts your face away from his neck so he can look into your eyes, so he can see the way they flutter at the sensation of being so goddamn full.

You can only imagine what you look like���sweat plastering your hair to your forehead and neck, eyes slightly red from crying, lips bitten to hell. He keeps eye contact as Javy repeats his actions and your eyes roll back. Your eyes are closed when his hand slides from your face to your neck and just holds you there.

The moan you let out when Javy moves his hand from the back of your neck to trail feather-light down your back is animalistic, it tears itself out of your chest as you feel yourself cry again. Jake tries to keep an even pace with the rhythm of Javy's hips, but you can feel the way they're starting to lose pace, clearly both close.

Then Javy starts talking. It's always the same when you're all so fucked out, the barriers come down.

"Such a good fucking girl, you should see the way you're stretched around us, good god, never going to let you go. Should keep you here so we can do this every day, fuck you full of us, sweet, sweet girl." His voice has lost its hard edge, but he keeps the tip of his finger in your ass, his other hand on your lower back.

"Fuck, you're so good to us. You look so good like this, bent over for me, I bet Jake loves the way your tits feel. You're so fucking incredible."

Jake somehow finds it in himself to speak up too, "Come for us, c'mon baby, let go, wanna feel you come around us so fucking bad. Let go, come for us."

They've never failed to talk you through it. It makes your heart clench in your chest in a way that it shouldn't when you're split open on their cocks, when your eyes are too glazed over to really see the expression on Jake's face where he's now holding your face firmly in one of his hands.

They hold you when you finally fall apart, barely faltering. Jake keeps chanting something about your tight fucking cunt and Javy pets your back and calls you our best girl.

Jake finishes next with a grunt that breaks off into a moan as he shoves his hips up hard into you, and you shudder from oversensitivity. When Javy comes it's sloppy, like it always is, his cum adding to the warmth of Jake already inside you. Everyone's oversensitive but Javy keeps the three of you rocking together til you come to and whine and smack Jake in the chest, til you brace yourself on him so you can reach back and try to hit Javy too.

"There you are..." He murmurs as he pulls out and you almost collapse from the way you know his eyes are hyper focused on the mixture of his and Jake's cum leaking out of you.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer," You grind out as you roll off Jake and throw an arm over your eyes, remembering that you're supposed to hate them, but also bone tired.

Jake's arms are still around you and your legs are draped on Javy's thighs, his hands now petting your calves and thighs. It's strangely domestic and soothing despite the way you ache and you know you'll need them to hold you for the next hour. They always do it more than enthusiastically, working as well together to take care of you afterwards as they do a team in the air.

In that moment though, Javy's smile is devilish when you peek at him and you know Jake is wearing a matching expression, "Why? You offering?"

"Oh, fuck you."

"Already did, baby, already did."

read the companion fic - “it’s not rotten work (not if it’s you)”

[wen-kexing-apologist]

I am being so so sincere when I say that Episode 10 of The Miracle of Teddy Bear has just secured a spot as one of my favorite BL episodes of all time.

What a fucking compelling, complex, brilliant, and contained piece of work. I am really really loving the dimensionality they bring to Nut and the way that he engages in his relationship with Tofu and his mother in this show as a whole and in this episode especially. Seeing Mathana so calmly, sweetly, and sincerely inquiring about Tofu and Nut’s feeling towards one another, in a way that felt completely absent of judgment only to immediately be met by Nut’s anger was fucking phenominal! The Miracle of Teddy Bear has been handling trauma, and trauma response so brilliantly across the entire show, but Episode 10 was a stand out example of how the writing for this show and Job’s performance as Nut really add so much nuance and flavor to this story and this character. 

I feel like so many BLs are hesitant to let their romantic leads harbor a lot of anger, but not The Miracle of Teddy Bear, Nut’s anger is explosive and it is fast. Nut can go from zero to one hundred in a blink of an eye, in a step, in a breath and that all stems from Nut’s history as a survivor of abuse. His father was extremely abusive, and incredibly homophobic, and his mother was a victim of that abuse as well and as a result was unable to protect Nut from all the shit his father put him through. And she was raised in a generation that was told there were rules and was never allowed to question them. She learned pink is for girls and blue is for boys and does not have any answer to a question of “but why?” nor does she have the space in the household with Sib to ask that question herself and realize there is no legitimate answer.

I believe that Nut is fundamentally a good person, but I absolutely adored how much of this episode really navigated us through Nut being an absolute piece of shit to his mother, his friends and their family, and his partner as a result of his history as a survivor of abuse while also showing us this timid, terrified, simp of a high school boy having his first romance. Especially because for me it really highlights how much of this anger that Nut has stems directly from whatever events ended his relationship with Tarn. At no point in the flashback to a very short, and incredibly sweet BL within a BL have we seen Nut angry, he is only capable of fear that his family will find out that he is gay. It runs so counter to the hair trigger rage Nut carries with him in adulthood. When I saw the way Nut behaved at Gen’s house, I legitimately had a moment where I was just so incredibly thankful that Gen’s parents are as kind as they are and seem to constantly provide love and support to Nut even when he is being a terrible guest and misbehaving at the table because his anger runs so deep he does not have a handle on it. 

From a writing and messaging perspective (I feel the need to clarify lest you think I support this kind of behavior in real live) I love, love, loved that Nut was using Tofu without Tofu’s permission and in many cases to the detriment of Tofu’s own comfort to the point where Tofu actually breaks in his own dedication to Nut and has to drag him outside to talk to him about generational trauma and the ways in which he is perpetuating cycles of abuse in his own household. Because that is a fundamental message of this show. Mathana and Saen are manipulated out of their relationship by Jan, Mathana feels pressure to get married because of her mother’s perceptions of the role of women in society, and as a result marries Sib who she doesn’t love, which contributes, I think, in part to Sib’s future abuse of his family because he knows his wife is in love with his brother and not him, with a major contributor to the Sib’s violence in the household being the perceptions of masculinity. 

Side note: One of my absolute favorite recurring motifs in this episode was the use of bars to make everyone feel trapped in the flashbacks of abuse.

This episode shows us the ways in which Nut has internalized some of the beliefs of his father, when he tells Tofu essentially that his mother failed to steer him away from being gay, when that is obviously an impossible task, and so expertly lets the anger of this episode be fueled by those beliefs, the resentment and frustration that stems from Nut having to serve some level of caregiver role to his mother because of her mental health, and Nut’s current inability to see the bigger picture and understand that his mother was also a victim of domestic violence in that household who did not have the ability to stand up for herself and her child all at the same time. And it is also so easy to understand why Nut is not able to see his mother as a victim in every absolutely heartbreaking flashback we get to little baby Nut looking up at his mother while he is being abused just absolutely hoping that she will do something more than stand there and watch it happen.

Nut is trying so desperately to get a reaction out of his mother, to prove that this anger that he has, that this pain that he carries from this piece of history we don’t even have the full story for yet is real, is justified, and that change and healing cannot happen. But it can. We haven’t even seen the events that lead to Nut’s break-up with Tarn yet and we’re already getting so much information about it from the way that Nut enters that coming out scene already fighting, already assuming his mother will have a problem, screaming at her and not giving her any opportunity to speak. And then getting mad at her when she doesn’t say anything about him being physically intimate with Tofu in front of her. Which I’ve already said was incredibly well written because Nut is so focused on his own anger it takes time for him to understand what he is doing to Tofu. 

And even when he leaves, when he goes to Gen, when he hears the reason and the sense, and admits to the fact that he was in the wrong, that unjustified justified anger doesn’t go away magically, his behavior isn’t automatically fixed. He knows that he put Tofu in an uncomfortable position, and then continues to do it anyway because there is no one that can drive you to anger faster than a parent. And I for one am so grateful this show is letting Nut leave shrapnel in his wake. 

I am truly so impressed with this episode and with the entire show so far. If you did not jump on the Miracle of Teddy Bear train when @lurkingshan and @twig-tea were watching it a few weeks ago, please take this as a sign you should attempt it. I know it’s long, but GODDAMN IT IS SO FUCKING GOOD.

[not-goldy]

At this point. There will be requirements to even speak to me about your ship moving forward and unless they fullfil these requirements, then don't speak.

Has your ship given confirmed Hickeys they claimed on the other?

Does you ship Spend couple holidays days together CONFIRMED?

Did your ship Enlist together as companions?

Does your ship make life changing decisions together?

Does your ship drop all honorifics consistently?

Does your ship send gay bday thirst traps?

Has your ship used a queer love song on their couple travel vlog?

Has your ship written a gay love letter confession song?

Did your ship take several alone trips, spending their last days together before enlisting?

Have members ever asked your ship if they were dating, a couple, together multiple times?

Has your ship dedicated a 2 hour live to each other, watching all their content publicly while blushing & kicking their feet?

Listen. Jikook has set the bar so fucking high. I don't care about your ship or their friend group outings. I don't care about your ship spending time together. I don't care if your ship talks about each other in interviews. Or sings songs to each other (cause all members have done this). I don't care if your ship teases each other and jokes around. These things aren't enough to debate your ship is real to me, Vmin, Taekook, Yoonmin, none of them, when this is normal friend behavior and shit they do with Wooga and 97 line and or other members or Jimin does with his friends. Unless your ship is making plans together or moving like a real actual couple, with parent's stamp of approval support (Greeting with I love you, instead of Hi. Making traditional seawood soup for your 'sons friend's' bday in their household, showing public support for the two of them at their businesses) don't speak. And especially don't talk to me when one half of your ship will go down as the idol who savagely shot down his own shippers twice and confirming PUBLICLY his girlfriend of 2 years & confirming with confirming the rumors, by taking a IDGAF hand holding stroll with her in the city of love. Even Taennie supporters got more proof, real proof, then you ever will. They can SPEAK, but you can't, esp if Tae is part of your ship, cause that is just laughable, after Paris and all those leaks. So again, don't speak to me about your ship, until your ship starts to act like a for real couple and not just friends. This whole private, but not secret shit don't fly. That's just a way of trying to stay delusional and keep your ship afloat, esp when your ship is doing public couple things with other people. Sorry not sorry.

🥂🌈🌠

[quodekash]

guys jokezo just made out and now they have to share a bed together. just chew on that for a bit.

NO, DON'T GIVE ME THEM SITTING ON A BUS

GIVE ME WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THEY HAD TO SLEEP IN THE SAME FREAKING BED IMMEDIATELY AFTER THEY MADE OUT

👀

(they made out last night btw)

(just in case anyone forgot)

(and then they had to share a bed)

ass x7

also zo is fully just not doing anything lmao

everyone's pushing with all their might and zo is just 🧍‍♂️

FUIWEBSDGIOUVEWJBOGD

oh the desperate thigh grab

yeah, im with him on this, they need to talk about it. especially about how they had to slEEP IN THE SAME FREAKING BED AFTER THAT

welp. I guess joke's day was just ruined in a slap to the face disguised as a few words

AND THE WAY HE TAKES HIS HAND OFF ZO'S THIGH AFTER THAT????? OUCHHHH

I must say tho, this is really giving episode-6-of-bad-buddy

its very patpran-post-rooftop-kiss-core

the vibes be gay and yearning and very very sad

OKAY, THE MOTHER, FINALLY

a few things to say about her

1. she's gorgeous

2. DAMN she is SHORT

3. I was rewatching the first four episodes yesterday and today because I could, and I noticed in the first episode, zo asked his friends to not tag him in photos they took at the bar, because "I don't want my mum to see"

but my question is... why? he's just out drinking with friends, he's an adult, he's not being irresponsible or anything, so why doesn't he want her to see the photos?

is it something to do with what his mum thinks of him? is she overbearing? does she have high expectations of him? does she kinda suck?

she's probably lovely though, and ill end up adding her to my list-of-fictional-parents-to-get-adopted-by (it's a very long list)

I guess we shall find out today as the episode progresses

oh, honey, you're so queer

the amount of times ive done exactly this

she's so short its hilarious omg

also: ive decided I love his mum

she's so sweet

and neither of them know how to use a stove and I think that's so hilarious and endearing

HSDHSHFSHDHHS

(also: this scene is making me think of akkayan at aye's house having a meal with his mum and rhbgdhjgb)

he's putting two and two together

the few braincells he has that aren't dedicated to debating are whirring in his mind

I can practically hear his thoughts

"he kissed me back... he wants to talk about the kiss... we went on two dates together at his suggestion... he showed up at my house and charmed my mother... he says I have secret admirers..." cmon sweetie youre so close

"WAIT, DOES HE LIKE ME?" omg honeybun you did it!

or maybe he didn't do it

maybe he was still shuffling the pieces in his brain but hadn't put them together and then his mum said something and distracted him

either way: that was hilarious and I want to high five dunk for his acting there

HIGH EXPECTATIONS, I KNEW IT

still love her tho

high expectations suck but she seems wonderful so far (obviously my opinion will change if the circumstances do (like if it turns out she completely sucks) but for now she's made it to the adoption list)

brb, gonna go cry real quick

well now their thumbs are making out

you see, I understand the things he's saying. and I honestly agree with him. if I were ever somehow put in his position, id probably say the same things.

HOWEVER, I just want my bl boys to kiss again and be happy and together and I appreciate the realism over the usual fantasy kinda situation we go for in bls, but I just want them to kissssss

this is very good advice

I hope that jokezo kiss again this episode

also AAAGBRDHFKBG JENGPOK CRUMBS

YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHO'S LOSING THEIR MIND OVER JENGPOK AGAIN

BERIUFDJKGBEORPVFD

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

SHUT UP

SHUT UP SHUT UP

IM NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING

FHEWSDGFVESDV

THIS IS TOO FUNNY

im gonna start crying soon

its so funny

help me

girl is worried

I know this is what jeng told you to do but is during debate club really the right moment

im so certain that she ships it

awwhhhhh

HE SAID IT

HE SAID THE THING

AAAAAAAAA

hell yeah

GOUERJLHDGOBIERVLDNF

AAAAAAAAAAA

IM SCREAMING

THATS IT??

THAT'S THE END OF THE EPISODE??

THEY DIDNT EVEN KISS

OR ADDRESS THE FACT THAT - and I can't stress this enough - THEY SLEPT IN THE SAME FREAKING BED AFTER FULL-ASS MAKING OUT

omg next episode is gonna be amazing

I can't wait

gekjrdsbfd I love them so much

im like 70% certain they're gonna kiss next episode so fingers crossed

ALSO NITA DEFINITELY SHIPS IT

anyway. that was good. I should go to sleep now

[rahleeyah]

the latest svu episode had some weirdly overt religious-undertones (i know thats an oxymoron lol) but ngl as a person who isn't religious and was raised in a religion-less household it always makes me uncomfy. but it felt extra weird here.

I was hoping the man that javier saw was a drag queen from the gay bar, which i thought would have been a really nice touch, but no they went possible hallucination/angel/jesus?? idk it upsets me to see olivia being more religious bc i feel like it makes very little sense for her character

Yeah I high key hate the mealy-mouthed, noncommittal approach they've taken to Liv's change of perspective on religion. Yes, it is entirely possible for a person's opinions to change over time and it's not uncommon for people whose livelihoods involve handling trauma - healthcare workers, EMS, firemen, police - to have stories of angels that appear in life altering moments but this one just. Fell so flat. They named the episode after the third man phenomenon but it wasn't about that; an argument could be made maybe that the witness is the real third man but I do not think they were thinking about it like that. They didn't spend the episode chasing the third man down or grappling with the concept; they just awkwardly shoe-horned it in there. Which is what they have done with the concept of Liv and religion each time. Liv getting Noah dedicated in a church wasn't too egregious imo; it's not uncommon for people to pivot to church when they have babies, in search of community and a framework to raise them in, but we didn't really see the reasons for Liv's decision and we didn't see any follow thru. She said she wanted him to have something to ground him, but we don't know why she chose that, and we don't see her do that again for years until she's randomly walking out of a church in the worst Christmas episode ever. They have given her a veneer of belief but we don't know what, exactly, she believes in, or how those beliefs guide her, or what changed her tune. It just feels weird, and goes together with a lot of work that has been done over the last decade plus to declaw Olivia. It's like someone decided she has to be soft and sweet and believe in angels, and that doesn't track with her established character, and it makes her less interesting to watch sometimes imo.

[punhetamaistriste]

I've been working all day

I was looking for a job, and then I found a job. Morrissey was real for that. I'm working for a little less than a month now, and it's not on my field (I'm an environmental science virtuoso) but I manage to make it work. I'm a dedicated, sympathetic proletariat. Working on the office I still don't find the show to be very entertaining, but they're coming from a place of office knowledge. I am the only bisexual man I know on the job, and I'm pretty much straight-passing when I'm out of the college campus. So, for the first time on my life, I'm being treated like a straight cis man. And it's terrible.

I like football. I like metal music and fantasy novels. I'm a skinhead. This on college is just traits to contribute to my reputation as a raging bisexual, but on workplace those are common ground among me and my straight coworkers. Since straight people rarely think about queers unless they're morbid homophobes, they assume I'm straight as well, no questions asked. It is hard to witness as these straight, cis, young to middle-aged men try and befriend me. I don't want to be alone, obviously, and the girls don't like me that much. They're usually friends with my gay coworkers, since they're married, or are dating, and do not want to interact with a man who likes women. I'm having a scoop on the straight world, and it's scarier than I thought. I'm friends with many bi people on college that I never thought of seducing. I have better things to do. Also, it's nice to just talk. Those men I'm befriending, they just talk to other men. The workplace is heavily divided by gender. One of them saw my football pin and asked me about my life as a migrant. My newest nickname is Carioca. As if punhetatriste wasn't enough. We talked about football, about Rio de Janeiro, about the best bars around the office building (but thanks I don't drink), and when the topic was women I got genuinely terrified. So this is how they think about women. This is how they talk about it when they're alone. I saw myself engaging in the conversation, talking shit about women and referring to them as whores, so this is how we talked about women.

When I was young I had a misogyny problem. I hated my mother, I was about 13 and I didn't actively hated women, but I saw them as… dumb. And I was smart. As a kid. I was deeply troubled because of my dad's recent death, and I felt so alone all the time. Didn't have many friends. Had a few crushes entering high school, but they didn't care about me (fair enough, I was ugly and terrible). I created my twitter account and my mutuals became my friends. They hated teens, blue haired queers, and women. I was respected for being an openly bisexual male, so I could hate on women. I read The Second Sex when it became clear to me that I was being misogynistic, but readind the book made me even worse. I got into feminist discussions with radfems to prove I knew more about being a woman than they did. Outside the internet I was becoming a punk, mohawk and anarchy included, and eventually I just grew tired of being an idiot. I got more and more engaged with the capitalist issues, started working on some anarchist programs (like occupying buildings or breaking shit up on protest with black blocs), then working with women was inevitable. Then, most my contacts were queer women or close. Bi women, trans women, lesbians, afab non binary people. In high school I finally made some friends, a couple of girls and I got myself inside a male friend group from my class. They adopted me, and I finally had people to talk to in class, late on my sophomore year. Then I entered college, where I only talk to queer people. I've been out of the loop on the straights for a couple of years now; despite knowing some straight people. The ones I know are communist or anarchist, they're very progressive and most have a college degree. They are (and I mean this in the most classist way possible) not like other straight people. Even they, they are not as close to me as the queer people I know. We have a shared experience being queer, young, usually POC and educated. This brings people closer. Now I work in a place where a major isn't required, so I'm dealing with non-college people for the first time in a while as well. I know this is something really shitty to admit, but I can't talk to people who aren't in college. I spent my whole day on campus for 3 years now, I live in a major city that has the best university on my country, I get invited to places only grad students go, and sometimes it even feels like I'm stuck in university. Now this scene is changing. Me being a proletariat is changing that. Also, you can be a grad student and misogynistic. There are many. What I'm saying is: I can't talk like a normal person anymore. I use complicated words. I assume everyone knows at least Calculus I. I talk about underground artists as if they're mainstream. I live in a bubble where feminism is still necessary but the misogynistic boogeyman doesn't exist anymore. Working bursted that bubble.

I feel sorry to admit I don't pretend to change the minds of these men. It would require time and real effort, also I'd have to do it very smoothly or I'd be alone in the workplace. For the first time in my life I'm being treated as a regular man, no expectations and mission, and the office is a place where I can relax and unwind from the college life. It is easier, the people are less competitive than in STEM, and they're trying their best to become friends. I'm very sorry to admit I'm going to roll with it and change nothing. Growing up as a deeply lonely child, I just want to be invited to the cookout. You'd say "it's easier for men to ignore misogyny!", or "You're enjoying practicing misogyny now that you're finally seen as a straight man, you are enjoying your newfound place of privilege" and you know what? Maybe. I'm trying to ignore it; it is hard to swallow, and those interactions will probably make me become more paranoid and obssessed with feminist literature, but I won't preach to my coworkers. I'm a fucking coward and I won't pretend this isn't true. It's almost like having a double life, working and studying. And other guys on STEM usually don't get that. They're misogynistic by themselves. How lonely.

[tangent101]

Now this is an interesting post. It went down paths I was not expecting. So... let's take a moment to examine. =^.^=

First? I totally agree with you about the Warren ship. Warren is a "nice guy" who Max tries to fend off at the start. The only reason that it became a "big thing" is because in the "What If" beta, fans fell in love with Warren while Max answered with four different levels of "no."

And this is a shame! Because Warren deserved better than to become the Nice Guy Trope. He could have been painted out to be the faithful male friend who is not romantically interested in Max. Heck, part of things could be trying to convince Brooke or Alyssa (two of the other girls Warren is chasing after) that she is not interested in Warren that way. We need more male/female non-romantic friendships out there.

Instead, Warren was turned into a... cautionary story for those who decided to look more than skin deep. We have the doctored photograph of Max and Warren that he keeps in the men's locker room (where guys can see it but Max never would) and his pushing himself on Max and trying to manipulate Max into dating him and also at the same time being involved with Brooke and possibly Alyssa at the same time. Given how popular Warren is among some folk, the cautionary aspects were outright ignored so... why not just have him be a friend? Heck, if you need a trope, have him be the gay friend. ^^

Okay. Enough about Warren, I need a shower after talking about him. Now we're going to look at Rachel. And I'm going to delve over twenty years into my past when I ran into a girl at a bar and we kind of really hit it off. And we walked alongside the river boardwalk and decided to become a couple and it was... heady and fun and intense. And it burned itself out after one month, but we remained good friends after all of that for a number of years. (Last I knew she's married and I've no idea how to get in touch with her anymore, but that happens with friends.) That is the type of vibe I get with Rachel Amber and Chloe Price.

Rachel... is that intense flame that burns hot and bright and then fades far too quickly. No doubt Rachel and Chloe ended up in bed several times. Rachel was Chloe's lesbian awakening, for all that Rachel herself was very bi. So the quickness of their relationship is not a problem with me. If anything, it's that we don't get more of it is one of my problems. The second half of the third chapter is essentially a Rachel-free fetch quest. It could have been handled differently. Better. (There is also Chloe's complete lack of autonomy in the story, but I've gone on about that multiple times.)

I've gone on at length about my issues with BtS in other posts. The issue with Rachel is... we don't really get to see what it is about Rachel that got Chloe to be that dedicated to her. If we'd had more moments with her, perhaps allowing Rachel to help Chloe more with various things so that her being willing to toss her future away for this girl makes sense... but yeah. Rachel works best as the ghost, as the girl Chloe pines for. Having her come to life just... tarnished the illusion and killed any real interest I had with Amberprice.

Pricefield on the other hand... I think people enter into Pricefield from a certain direction. If you're not walking part of that path, then you end up not quite clicking with it. With me... it's that connection with Chloe. I'm the one who would accept her friends back without hesitation no matter how long it took for them to return. And there is also that tremendous loyalty toward your friends that lets you be willing to sacrifice everything else for them.

That said... I'm not sure Chloe puts that much pressure on Max, because the thing is? She bounces back from rejection fairly quickly. (The difference between BtS and LiS is that Chloe lacks autonomy in BtS while Max fully has autonomy in LiS.) So you can take Kate's call, you can refuse to take the obviously shady Handicapped Fund (because making a handicapped ramp for a building that requires several sets of stairs to access makes so much sense), you can just not kiss Chloe... and Chloe remains loyal to Max and the two remain together after the Storm.

As for Chloe's "questionable behavior..." let's move beyond the underlying factors (being dosed with a date-rape drug and not knowing what happened just three days before, among other things) and look at Chloe's behavior. Chloe is impulsive. But she is quickly talked down as well. All Max has to do is ignore her request and Chloe moves on. Chloe doesn't hold it over Max for not kissing her, she barely grouses about the gun or not having the "Handicapped" fund, she offers her life at the end no matter what and tells Max "whatever you choose, I'll support that choice" and does so. The only difference is if you get a goodbye hug or goodbye kiss... and it's MAX who initiates either.

One last thing to consider is where you are in life when you play the games. Because in one or two years? You may very well find that Amberprice is far more understandable, or that you just connect with Max and Chloe on a far deeper level. It's one reason why I recommend people play these games more than once. (Though admittedly, I'll never play BtS again. I just got so angry with that game that... well, I almost never rage-quit a game just inches from the end, but BtS is the exception.)

Thank you for your comments. :)

Unpopular opinion but I don't enjoy any of the ships from „life is strange” games.

Max does not seem in any way interested in Warren making their relationship obviously one sided. Even through Warren is theoretically one of romantic options it seems to me that his relationship with Max is pushed solely and exclusively by the player.

As for pricfield, they’re all right ,but that’s it. Chloe puts a lot of pressure on Max and even though you can clearly see that she cares a lot about Max ,some of her behavior is questionable. On the positive side, however, I think their relationship is the most emotional out of all the games and their moments are the most memorable but I don't particularly care for them.

As for the Amberprcie, like it more in theory than in reality. When I heard of their relationship in the first game ,I was thrilled and convinced that they would be my favorite ship out of all. I was wrong. My main issue is that their relationship develops wayy too fast. Bts lasts about 3 days, after not even a whole day of knowing Rachel, Chloe tells her she feels there’s something more than friendship between them. After a few days, Chloe is ready to throw herself out of school for Rachel , despite knowing how important that was for Joyce. At the same time I am able to understand her a little,ever since her father died and Max moved out ,she closed herself off and haven’t got any (close)friends. Rachel was the first person to take an interest in her in a long time, making it easy for her to quickly become attached. Similarly with Rachel ,she didn't have many close friends either. I think their relationship is quite cute, but as I mentioned earlier ,I like them more on paper than in action.

Also I don't see any point in mentioning the other ships, the only ones left are rarepairs, and they generally appeal to me mostly aesthetically so there's no need to dwell on them.

[sukirichi]

TOKREV BOYS AS MY HIGH SCHOOL CRUSHES.

☁︎ inui, draken, chifuyu, baji, hanma, sanzu, ran, izana, mitsuya

☁︎ unedited. suggestive in sanzu’s part. overall chaotic. i had so much crushes. if some parts sound too specific, that’s because these are real life events and they’re based on real life people i crushed on, sigh. warnings of drama and questionable behaviors. 

☁︎ not the bonten husband content everybody wants but i’m going thru a mild burnout so a lil comedy is all i can make ;)

♡ — INUI !

first crush vibes

he was in your dance class, two years older, and you looked forward to attending dance class every weekend just to see him

usually, other students would be happy to relax or go out on a Friday, but nope, you had dance classes and a certain someone to impress

he never noticed you though

he always had lots of girls flocking him and you hated how they were so comfortable around him and pushing him around, joking around that he was the best dancer in the class so why bother learning when you’ll never get on his level

inui doesn’t comment about it

he’s pretty quiet but he’s confident of himself

HE HAS THE PRETTIEST, SMOOTHEST SKIN

literally prettier than everybody else

is more feminine than you and he’s so graceful that you want to die in shame each time he shows off his moves

the dance coach doesn’t even know why he’s there when inui is probably more advanced than he is

you confessed to him by giving him a homemade meal until kokonoi shows up, and that’s when you learn that inui was actually gay

he’s pretty sweet though

he compliments your dance skills and thanks you for the food before kokonoi winks at you – koko knows he bagged a good one

honestly, you’re not even mad or heartbroken. you’re extremely happy for them

♡ — DRAKEN !

EVERYBODY KNOWS DRAKEN

yes the kid who is taller and bigger and more mature than everyone else

people don’t believe he’s in high school... he often gets mistaken for being a uni student but nope, he’s still in high school and he’s the same age as you are

he’s not the smartest in academics but he makes up for it with hard work and dedication

not the brightest either when it comes to book context... he’ll probably struggle in language class but the best thing about him is that he can admit when he needs help and he’s not shy to ask you to teach him when there’s something he doesn’t understand

draken gets confessed to by people from other years and classes on the often

he always turns them down. he’s not really interested tho he’s super nice about it

he isn’t aware how attractive or charming he is

everyone feels safe around him !! the class big brother and the dependable one everyone trusts

extremely good at comforting

he sees your school skirt stained with period blood and the other guys are staring in horror? he doesn’t blink at it. he’ll politely tell you about the situation and even get you pads or tampons from the school nurse himself + painkillers and a bar of chocolate you didn’t ask him to get

injured from gym class? no worries, he’ll carry you bridal style to the infirmary himself and won’t leave your side until you feel better

will carry your bag and wrap an arm around your shoulder to guide you while asking again and again if you’re okay

HE’S SO NICE YOUR HEART IS IN A MESS BECAUSE IS HE NICE BY DEFAULT OR IS HE NICER BECAUSE HE LIKES YOU

so of course you confess to him. and it’s one of those rushed, impulsive confessions where Draken is on his way home and you run after him, tugging at his uniform just to tell him you’ve always found him handsome and interesting and you want to get to know him better

he immediately knows what you mean

he’ll apologize he doesn’t feel the same way but that he’d like to be friends and hopes it won’t be awkward between the two of you

but of course it’s too awkward and even though you know he won’t be bothered by you texting, you never text him just because you don’t want to be just friends

turns out... he’s not interested in anyone because he’s always had a crush on someone else

he remains a great memory though <33 he most definitely wishes you well and congratulates you during graduation

you’re extremely proud of this boy for his kind heart

♡ — CHIFUYU !

chifuyu has been your best friend since middle school and your best friend crushed on him during that time

you shipped them until... you begin to realize... chifuyu’s pretty cute and funny and nice to be with?

still, it feels wrong so you don’t do anything about it. that’s when your friend tells you she and chifuyu don’t talk anymore and that she never wants to talk about him again (they were never close friends to begin with)

chifuyu knows your most embarrassing moments and vice versa

you used to date his best friend, baji, back in middle school and it was the most awkward thing ever but who cares, right? they were fun, innocent days but the more you grow up, chifuyu is the only one who stayed being friends with you because baji is now dating your other best friend

you and chifuyu are always the third wheel in dates. you accompany your couple friends while the both of you just join around in the background because your couple friends aren’t allowed to go out just the two of them alone

chifuyu is the sweetest. boy. ever.

he’s too precious to exist in this world

even when you jokingly placed gum in his seat and he stood up with neon blue gum stuck on his black jeans and everyone was turning red from trying not to laugh, he was never mad at you

he just laughed at himself

he retaliates with pranks that are harmless

the teachers hate it when you two sit next together because you’re both either always chatting or gossiping or close from ripping each other’s throat because chifuyu is stealing your snacks or you’re doodling on his hand

chifuyu is a really smart guy

you take advantage of the fact he can’t resist you so sometimes he does your homework just because it’s easier than teaching you over and over again

he never makes fun of you for not being good in math

you excel in everything but math... math is a no man’s land

but then chifuyu starts getting into sports and then he becomes more popular, more kids start befriending him and eventually he’s dating this super cute girl almost everyone is in love with

it pains you to not spend enough time with him anymore because he feels far away sometimes, but he lives his own life so you never stopped him

and it’s not like chifuyu spends less time with you on purpose

he just has a lot of friends and there’s nothing wrong with that !! you just miss him

eventually, chifuyu gets accepted into a school for the brightest kids so you’ve stopped talking to him because you’ve both gotten busy

but the good news is that even after all this time, chifuyu is still close friends with you

you never got to tell him how you feel and you’re glad you didn’t

he’s happy with his girlfriend now

he’s more like a brother to you at his point

you love him with all your heart and he feels the same way !! an iconic duo sharing the same braincell and you’re always there for each other no matter what

ON A SIDE NOTE

chifuyu has always been cute but he wasn’t always the most charismatic. he used to be awkward and shy around people until he had his glow up moment

it’s like crushing on him twice LMAO

♡ — BAJI !

UGHHH BAJI what do i even start with this

baji is... one rowdy boy

he’s always loud. he takes more frequent trips to the disciplinary office and principal’s office more times than he visits the bathroom

he acts like he’s a flirt but flirt back with him and he’ll be speechless for a whole minute then accidentally say “you’re not that cute ewww”

he’s fucking annoying. he’s handsome and he’s a great basketball player – a MENACE on the court – but he’s so annoying

baji is not smart... or so you think. he’s actually just lazy that’s why he’s always flunking his exams until you joke that he can’t answer a math equation and he uncaps the pen with his teeth, starts scribbling on the library tables and proudly presents the answer to you while leaning back on his seat

“how bout now, miss smarty?”

he got the answer right so now you’re forced to buy him snacks every after class

everyone knows baji has a crush on your best friend from the other class and you almost ship them until baji starts acting weird around you

when you invite him to go swimming with you and your other friends on a weekend, he almost chokes on his drink because of course his first thought is swimsuits

“ARE YOU SERIOUS? but it can’t just be the two of us, my mom is going to assume i’m dating somebody and she’ll whoop my ass”

“i invited the whole friend group, baji.”

“OHHHHH...”

baji isn’t the smoothest in his flirting game but he makes up for it with confidence and dedication. i’m talking about being cheesy by picking flowers on his way to school, flipping his hair back and winking at you as he hands you the flower

he’ll run in the hallways just to walk with you in class

he’ll playfully carry your bag for you because he doesn’t want ‘a pretty girl to carry such a heavy bag – are you carrying rocks in your bag? why is this so heavy?’

you sit next to baji and during exams, the teacher bonks the both of you because you’re not answering it at all

you’re just staring at each other with stupid smiles on your faces

“mr baji! ms y/n! what’re you staring at!!”

the whole class erupts into hoots and cheers until you’re turning away from each other because it’s embarrassing. fun fact: the teachers also find you both cute

baji kisses his fist and pumps it into the air when he wins a basketball game before pointing at you, banging his chest and shouting, DID YOU SEE THAT??

yes he was so adorable.... and he got jealous quick

you had a lot of guy friends and most of the guys in the class has a crush on you... so he’s really possessive and jealous

he’ll growl at anyone approaching you but then smile prettily at you when you cock a brow at him

he’s extremely immature

the type to moan in the middle of the class and make perverted jokes. he also laughs while slapping chifuyu’s thigh when the biology teacher mentions sexual organs

anyways, remember that best friend of yours he crushed on first? she ended up liking him too and the stupid you thought “best friends share” so you didn’t mind even though the whole school knew you and baji were a thing

until baji stopped talking to you...

the two of them started going out and you’re third wheeling along with a cringing chifuyu

you supported your best friend though (rip you)

but then they broke up and suddenly baji and your friend confesses that they never really liked each other that way and realized that she liked him out of curiosity and he liked her platonically... turns out the whole time he never got over you

so he proposed with a hair tie and tied it around your wrist

you guys have matching hair ties and it was your way of telling everyone ‘yes we’re together’

baji loves calling you late at night when everyone else is asleep because he wants your voice to be the last thing he hears before falling asleep

he proposed to you again a year later with duct tape that’s for your wrist again

he likes to insert himself in conversations about girl talk or horror stories even though he’s not invited just because he wants to be near you. he doesn’t understand what’s going on the whole time but he’ll nod enthusiastically

baji loves your hair. he learns how to style and tie it up for you but respects that you don’t like your hair being touched too much

baji has once tried to kiss you in a horror house after kabedoning you

the kiss never happened though... because you just ate cheese nachos and he had hotdogs.... it was pretty awkward but he came out the horror house pretty proud of himself

UNFORTUNATELY

you and baji are no longer in contact, but you sure do miss that sweet boy. it’s sad because you used to be best friends but you haven’t talked to him in years. last you heard from him was that he’s towering over everyone now and you found it pretty cute because you used to be taller than him in middle school

baji is now a physics genius

♡ — HANMA !

NO QUESTIONS ASKED, HANMA IS THE BOY YOU NEVER WANT YOUR PARENTS TO MEET

hanma is a walking red flag but he was also one of the sexiest and hottest people you’ve ever met

the best definition of a bad boy, good man. that’s corny as hell but it was true

hanma never shows up in class. when he does, the day is almost ending and the only thing he has in his bag is a water bottle and an umbrella

he never listens in class. he’s just sleeping all the time but somehow he’s awake each time his friends come in before he’s disappearing again

he isn’t really a playboy but he basks in the fact almost everyone drools for him

not the type to get drunk, although his friends are pretty notorious for smoking, getting drunk a lot, and clubbing

he doesn’t go clubbing, neither does he drink, tried smoking once but he’s actually pretty conscious of his health since he has a hidden condition he’s only ever opened up to you. yes you did cry when you heard about how he isn’t doing well and that sometimes he doesn’t go to school because he’s in the hospital

another basketball player

flirts with everybody. even teachers, but they’re more in a joking, “ma’am you’re very pretty” type of way

he almost cried once when a scary professor put him in the spot and he doesn’t know the right answer

the ONE time he paid attention in class was when your seatmate never sat next to you out of thinking you’re intimidating so hanma invites himself to be your new seatmate. voila, he has a pen and notebook now and he’s even participating in class!

meanwhile, you can’t understand a single thing because he’s too handsome and you’re so shy around him

hanma knows you like him

but for some reason, he never flirted with you. he opens doors for you, gets mad at the other boys who are disrespectful and will constantly ask you how you’re doing

he seems to be nice only to you

tells your friends he crushes on you but makes your friends promise they won’t ever tell you because his ex-girlfriend is hung up on him and the little miss thing will hate you if she finds out

hanma always smells nice

he only has two moods: replying in the speed of light or making you wait two business days before he replies with “sorry i fell asleep”

hanma is always LOUD. he’s the class clown and very charismatic, everyone wants to be his friend, though he is oddly quiet and blushes around you

when kisaki asks him if he’s shy because you’re there he’ll heftily defend himself

then mutter under his breath that you’re too pretty and he can’t look you in the eye because he’s scared

hanma gives the best, warmest hugs

hanma likes to flex his jewellery and shouted I LOVE YOU at the top of his lungs when you got him a Rolex watch as a gift

he’s introduced you to his mom as his “intelligent and kind classmate.” mama hanma thinks you’re pretty and he winked at you after that

hanma knows your favourite cake is no longer being served in your favourite cake shop for years now so he promised to learn to bake so he can recreate it for you someday

he’s also a great singer and a talented dancer !!

everyone called you the good girl bad boy trope and ofc your friends warned you about him that he was a walking red flag so they don’t want you with him

hanma is always secretly looking out for you

his friends think you’re cute together, but apparently you’re too “innocent” to be a good pair for him, and honestly he has shitty friends !! you trust him but never his friends so you don’t hang out with him a lot. in fact, you don’t hang out with him at all

hanma catches you looking at him during class because he’s also looking at you

hanma knows how to calm you down from panic attacks

he turns from rude to sweet in a split second every time you’re around

he’s the best listener, and you would’ve been great friends if you gave it a chance. sadly, because you don’t trust the people around him, you let him approach you first and he tells you all his secrets while you keep yours to himself

hanma is in a much better place now. he’s realized his friends are toxic and he’s on his way to become a great professor

have i mentioned hanma is extremely patient? because he is

a good soul through and through

♡ — SANZU !

sanzu is the most toxic boy in your life

he’s pretty and he knows it.

extremely popular in school because he came from a good family, he’s smart, he’s multilingual and had lots of talents up his sleeves

he was pretty humble about it too

sanzu likes surprising people with his skills and he’s good friends with everyone. the only problem about it is he already has everything in life so he’s not as ambitious as the rest and doesn’t work that hard

a gym rat

an athlete and martial artist

he’s the one who taught you to smoke but you didn’t like it so you stopped it after one huff. a bad influence in your life because he believed enjoying your youth meant doing stupid shit that is harmful

he has days where he’s sweet though... you can’t deny he cares about you and doesn’t want you getting too tired

he fell in love with you at a time you weren’t so happy with yourself because being a teenager was a difficult age, so you were in disbelief he found you so amazing when he could literally have anyone else (IT WAS A VERY TOUGH AGE)

sanzu is pretty quiet at first, but when you get to know him, he’s so fun and open minded

once, he snuck you out of school to take you out on a theatre date and he was feeding you his popcorn before you shyly asked to hold hands with him. he also tried on women’s clothing because he knows he looks good in it

he had the most gorgeous abs

your family is friends with his, so you both hung out a lot and your families didn’t question your friendship to be close to being romantic so you got away with anything

he has an extremely grandiose rooftop garden... you remember staying there with him while it was raining and you guys cuddled for warmth

once, you told him you were at a restaurant near his place and he nearly ran out just to hang out with you when you told him you were with his family and he immediately went back home

bought a car just because he wants to experience making out in a nice vehicle with chase atlantic and the 1975 playing in the background

your relationship with sanzu is complicated

you’re best friends and then you’re lovers and then you’re strangers and then best friends again

you have complimentary kinks

he has a strength difference kink and you have a size difference kink. he’s more than happy to indulge all your fantasies without judging you about it

sanzu also always smells good

you like cuddling in his jacket because he’s just so comfortable to be with

sanzu is never ashamed in telling the world how much he likes you. one time, you walked past him with a new skirt and he snorted milk out his nose. he even fake cried just because he was so overwhelmed

“you’ve always been beautiful but wtf, you’re a walking goddess can i kiss you”

to which you always respond with, “you can kiss me when we’re dating.”

but you never dated during those times because you were extremely busy with school and he was too busy rejecting everyone who crushed on him + he didn’t want to be tied down to anyone

sanzu knows you like the back of his hand

he’s saved you from creeps a hundred of times before. one time, when a creep in your class asked you to help him with his homework and you were obviously uncomfortable, sanzu swept in and helped the creep by himself so you wouldn’t have to be in that situation

sanzu is your go to red flag detector. he’s a red flag himself so he can smell a boy’s bullshit from a mile away and warn you beforehand if your new crush is a good person or not

although he doesn’t stop you from flirting or dating them

he kind of just gives you a heads up

when you come crying to him that they’d been shit, he doesn’t judge you for it. he understands your emotions and lets you cry as much as you want

his mom loves you

sanzu never asked you for anything in return

he hates it when you pay for your meals or anything. you tried paying for it once and he let you, but turns out he slipped in his own money inside your purse afterwards

sanzu is great with kids LMAO he’ll actually be a great dad

but for now, he is extremely toxic. he’ll never get over his first love and will still choose her no matter what. sometimes, when he’s so mad, he’ll end up calling his loved ones with hurtful insults and he makes promises he doesn’t keep

he has a toxic alpha male nature

one of his toxic traits is that he’ll judge someone when they dress up too provocatively or if he thinks a girl is dressing up for attention. you tell him multiple times people dress up for themselves but he won’t sway in his opinions

he’s both a good memory and a bad one

it’s like the more he ages, the more immature he becomes

deep down, sanzu is a lonely man craving for emotional intimacy. he pushes everyone away because he think nobody is good enough for him, then he suffers from loneliness

♡ — RAN !

it’s hard to date ran because he’ll love himself more than he loves you. and i don’t mean that in a self-respect way, i mean he’s so absorbed in himself that he has unrealistic standards and believe he’s above everyone

like yeah we get it he’s extremely hot and he’s a model but it won’t hurt him to be a little more humble

ran is filthy rich. he isn’t shy in flexing his family’s wealth and he comes to school with designer clothes, designer bags, expensive shoes, and limited edition wrist watches

he smells like Ferrari perfume

ran doesn’t care about personality. as long as you’re pretty and show a little bit of interest in him, that’s all he’ll go for

HE KNOWS HE’S HANDSOME

he actually sucks at sports but he’ll join games anyway just because the girls in the bleachers will scream for him

man can’t play to save his life although yea... it’s nice to have an eye candy on the court

you know he likes you when he asks you to be the one photographed instead of him

once, when the event you attended got too crowded and someone accidentally pushed him, he nearly fell on top of you. thankfully, you were in a corner and he had his arms around you to steady himself

one of the most embarrassing moments in your life because you’re sure he could hear your heartbeat

you’re one of the few girls who managed to make him shy for the first time in life

his fangirls are insane. you were eating out with your friends on a normal school day when his younger fangirls came and told you, “ran is never going to like you because he only notices girls who are pretty enough for him.”

you’re tired of their bullshit so you say with a straight face, “no wonder he never looked your way.”

high school is full of drama and petty people, so they ran up to him telling him you’d been mean so you cut off ties with him after that – not that you’d ever been friends

the only moments you had with him was when he’d randomly serenade you in public

or he’ll pester your friends asking you for social media but you don’t have any since you don’t trust people enough to have access to you. if they’re really desperate to be in contact, you’d give them your email, but he never got that

he thinks you’re a prude

he’s an ass, tbh

not a week later of giving you heart eyes and telling everyone how pretty you are, he starts dating someone else and he pretended like you didn’t exist

sanzu warned you about ran. he said ran isn’t really serious, he doesn’t even want to date because he likes his girlfriends, he just wants to brag that he’s in a relationship with a pretty girl

ran has nothing else going for him besides his pretty face and money

you regret not spilling water on him when you had a chance. it would’ve been nice to ruin his ‘designer sweater’

♡ — IZANA !

Izana is that mixed transferee student with a stick up his ass

he has a superiority complex because of his family background, which in this case let’s just say he’s his famous daddy’s son

he’s a genius

Izana is so academically smart it’s scary. you wonder how you’re in the same class as him when you don’t have the same capabilities because he can answer things that are way up for university level

he’s arrogant about it too

he mocks people for not knowing ‘basic, common knowledge’

Izana has heard about you liking him and he was so shocked about it he said, “ew.” then he threw away the keychain you got him as a gift from one of your vacations

he didn’t do it in front of you but he accepted it, said thank you, then when he thought you weren’t looking, he dumped it in the trash heartlessly

Izana broke your heart just by existing

you’ve never met someone so cold and cruel

he was also misogynistic. he believed women should stay at home and be obedient little housewives, claiming he was smart enough to make all the money

much to your displeasure, he looks really handsome when he’s focused on answering something

until he opens his mouth and you want to punch him

you never got to punch him but your best friend, takemitchy, managed to slap him once before running away squealing in fear

izana is now in a prestigious school somewhere

sometimes you think it must be tiring to be him because he has no time for himself. he’s hopping from school and cram schools every day, he always comes to school extremely pale and sleep deprived, but Izana will always say success is only earned through hard work

you want him to apologize to you for a whole year of him calling you ugly and dumb

♡ — MITSUYA !

MITSUYA IS THE MOST PRECIOUS PERSON TO EVER EXIST

you met mitsuya when talking to your friend in the hallway one morning when he goes out of his room, talking to his friend and looking effortlessly cute

in that moment, you were sure you fell in love

you made efforts to be friends with him. you built a study group and made your friend add him in the group where you all studied and shared the same interests

mitsuya was an artist and he’s the one who inspired you to learn how to draw

he’s also a huge fan of anime and manga

he has younger sisters who are just the cutest !! he was a walking malewife and he always spoke so softly, so sweet and overall being perfect

mitsuya had no flaw tbh. he had it all

he was smart, he was caring, he was respectful, he was hardworking, and he was cute

he was also easy to fluster because you were very straightforward in flirting with him, though he’s oblivious to that and thought you were just romantically friendly with everyone since you were also sweet to your other friends

mitsuya never thought that you dropping by to give him his favourite snacks every week meant that you liked him

he’s smart but DENSE

even when you constantly asked him to teach you how to draw and shared earphones with him, listening to songs he liked even when you weren’t a fan of it, he always believed your gestures to him were platonic

one of the reasons being he didn’t think there’d be any way you’d like him since he’s one of the quiet, geeky guys who girls didn’t talk to

and the other reason being that he had a crush on your closest friend sobs

you didn’t know he crushed on your friend by the time you confessed to him, which was through a group chat when you blurted out, “i like you, mitsuya. i have a crush on you and i admire you.” the whole chat burst into chaos and he was so nervous to approach you after that

three days later, he approached you asking if it was a joke or not

you told him it wasn’t a joke. he was surprised but then said thank you for even noticing me

YOU JUST WANT NOTHING MORE BUT TO HUG HIM

IF YOU COULD, IF HE LET YOU, YOU’D GIVE MITSUYA THE WORLD

but mitsuya confessed to your best friend, and she turned him down because she’s not interested in anyone who wasn’t jack frost

you cried for two hours straight after that

mitsuya remains a good friend until now <33

[tonguetiedraven]

Hi, I was just wondering if you have any headcanons for Blue Exorcist?

I'm not sure why, but my mind went entirely blank when I saw this ask xD I've managed to mostly rally my brain cells back together and come up with a few for the exwires and a few general ones :) Rin

ADHD and Dyslexia. (Are those really still head canons or are they considered canon at this point?)

Really sensitive to textures and gets easily distracted and upset if he’s wearing scratchy things.

Loves cuddling. Platonic or romantic is fine. He just likes cuddling.

He has one of Shirou’s rosaries and keeps it with him at all times.

Always chewing on things. Pencils, pens, food, gum, fingernails, sticks, sleeves, anything he can get hold of.

Run’s warmer than most people but is always cold.

Bi. Boy is very bi and still realizing it about himself.

Never really gets sick, even before the demon thing. When he does he’s very quiet about it and tries to hide it until he can’t.

Likes shopping, and doesn’t really care what he’s shopping for. Anything is fun.

Loves kids and is really good with them. Wants some whenever he gets older.

Yukio

Always cold (it’s the depression.)

Loves sweets and never allows himself them.

Thinks slapstick is one of the greatest forms of comedy.

Adores puns and is quick to think of them.

Addicted to caffeine.

Knows Latin

Chose to get the Doctor Meister because Rin’s optimistic belief in him made him want to be a doctor.

Demisexual.

Shadow demons terrified him as a child, and it still makes him afraid of the dark even though he’ll never admit it.

Anal about having his books/manga in a certain order and gets really annoyed if they’re moved.

Ryuuji

Needs glasses and hates them so he bought himself contacts the minute he could.

He gets the migraine from his mother and they’re always aggravated by skipping meals. He carries protein bars around to help avoid missing meals.

Likes to draw/paint to relieve stress and keep himself loose for drawing magical circles. He likes to sketch his classmates and would be mortified if they ever saw his stuff.

Enjoys Japanese operas and has a few entirely memorized.

Gay and very private about it.

I think I have curry as his favorite food in every fic I write, lol. He strikes me as the type to feel guilty about loving something so unhealthy, and rarely allows himself the treat.

Doesn’t care for coffee at all but is addicted to green tea.

Crabby as hell if he has to stay up past his bedtime.

His prayer beads were gifted to him by his father when he was a child and just learning how to chant.

Has a hard time falling asleep without listening to chants.

Introvert and protective of his alone time. If he chooses to give it up for you, you’re important.

Konekomaru

The official bug removed. He has no fear of creepy-crawlies and has been tasked with getting rid of them since he was a kid because Renzou gets loud when there are bugs around.

Prefers reading nonfiction to anything else.

Hates getting up early but makes himself do it anyway.

Has gotten in trouble on numerous occasions for feeding stray cats around the temple.

Renzou

Thank to Rynoa’s fantastic work, I now headcanon him as disliking especially sweet things. He only eats sweets because he thinks girls likes them.

He’s extremely good at figuring out escape routes and always locates the obvious and not obvious exits whenever he goes someplace. Never know when you’re gonna need to escape.

Was scared of Yamantaka when he was little and still doesn’t fully know what to make of him.

He’s seen demons all his life and has always considered Bon and Konekomaru naive to dedicate their lives to fighting them without any real idea what they’re like.

Smart and tries very hard to hide it.

Shiemi

Extrovert but shy.

I also think she’s a demisexual.

She’s seen demons all her life, but they never scared her. She’s always assumed they were friendly unless proven otherwise.

She will prune any plant she’s near. It’s just a habit at this point.

She’ll poke around house plants and check their leaves and soil to make sure they’re happy.

Izumo

Ride or die friend. She will tease/mock you relentlessly and tear anyone apart who dares to do the same.

She knows how to knit and likes to make little dolls. She’s extremely bashful about gifting them.

She adores colorful gel pens and glitter pens.

Vegetarian

General head canons

Mephisto has the sky at True Cross rigged so the stars are visible.

Lewin is connected to Section 13, but not a full clone. I think he was a test subject as a child.

Kuro chases mice away from the dorms when he’s not hanging with Rin.

I head canon Takara is controlled entirely by the demon and in a sort of sleep paralysis state, very occasionally waking from it before the demon sends him back to sleep.

Demons sleep with their eyes partly open (Rin included) so they can keep mildly alert even while they’re asleep.

[give-me-a-movie-camera]

Andy Griffith (1 JUN 1926 – 3 JUL 2012)

MAYBERRY WAS A fantasy land—gay, bright, and beautiful (for black and white, that is). It was the happy-est place on earth, and that’s how Andy wanted it… a means of escape from the outside world fraught with famine, war, disease, and death. Mayberry was the story of an era trapped in time… a time that moved at her own slow, meticulous pace, Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise. As the locales would say, ‘What’s your hurry?’

Sixty-one years to its debut on 3 October 1960, it still resonates with us. We gravitate towards Mayberry, as politics has no place here. Where there is politics, there is division… a game no one wins. Mayberry frees herself from that which concerns us; Mayberry is devoid of all the sadness of the ‘real’ world. With the single, modest emit of a lone whistle three beats per bar, Andy could make us forget our troubles. It is an almost self-contained world where people of all religions, races, colours, and creeds can set aside their differences and co-exist in harmony; a land which conveys an ideal image of small-town America most prevalent during a turbulent time brewing of senseless violence, political turmoil, racially charged tensions, social unrest, cultural changes, and the looming threat of anti-war protests. The fantasy stems from Deep Escapism that television audiences of the 1960s so desperately craved, as it was almost completely untouched by external conflict, caught in simpler times, a return to an age of American innocence, nostalgia, and optimism, skirting the upheavals of the Vietnam War and the Civil Rights Movement. Though the fictional world of Mayberry exists only in our minds, it is but that—the dream of one man, to be carefully planned—a neat little world in which everything is pre-conditioned and pre-arranged; in the world of Andy Griffith, a man who dared to dream dreams as big as the sky, nothing can harm us. In the land of Mayberry, Andy will watch over us like the proverbial hawk, destined to loom tall above us and nurture us the way a protective tree shelters a garden with its branches.

Andy was a man with a will of iron. Of undying loyalty to his friends he held nearest and dearest to his heart, he believed in a dream… a dream he assumed from his own dreams… to give us something to believe in when we could no longer believe. For it is not the dream of one man. It is the dream of many. For the dream Andy allowed us to share, Mayberry became more than a place. It is not so much a place as it is a state of mind.

People of all generations continue to return to Mayberry, ten years after Griffith’s passing. We need it now more than ever. Dear Mr Griffith… you were Made in Americana, a legend among the Hollywood hills, even as you walked on bare feet through the Valley of Silicon (after all, Abe Lincoln went barefoot, and our Lord died shoeless). Your name was known to many… for every fifty-two million television sets in one in ten households across the country, you were deemed by a dedicated viewership the Surrogate Father to Mother America. There was hardly a hermit out on the lone prairie in his quiet corner of the world who did not recognise the name of Sheriff Andy Taylor, so long as the hermit owned a television set on his lone prairie. Loved by all nations, you were a familiar face on our living room screens as you came to wrap us in a warm blanket of wisdom and greet us like a long-lost friend. You were more than a pretty, Lincoln-esque face before the cameras. You were the soul of an Icon. You died young but you lived to be a very old age. Mayberry surpassed your legacy, and she will continue to live long after we’ve left this earth.

So now we say, ‘In Loving Memory,’ and leave you at peace in that Great Big Mayberry in the Sky.

Thanks, Ange. We ’ppreciate it.

-GIVE ME A MOVIE CAMERA, June 2022

[watermelinoe]

Thank you for standing up for bi women. I was getting very frustrated seeing all those horrible misogynistic (and yes, biphobic!) posts and then seeing radfems who I follow and thought were normal being totally ok with it?? Like there’s one blog (theodysseyalice, cause I don’t care about naming names) who’s entire blog is pretty much dedicated to hating bi women. Laughing at the idea of bi women getting raped, calling all bi women rapists etc. It’s unhinged. And there are other “reasonable” radfems reblogging from her and making excuses for her and saying “oh well her opinions must come from trauma, some evil bi woman must have hurt her for her to act this way so I don’t mind”. Or when I ask for clarification on their stance it’s a lukewarm “I don’t approve of her language but I have sympathy for where she’s coming from” or some absolute shit. Imagine if some bi woman had an entire blog dedicated to hating on lesbians!! Oh my god!! There would be a nuclear meltdown and if you, as another bi woman, didn’t prostrate yourself before the lesbians in apology for the actions of another you would be just as bad. THEN it’s “why are bi women in general like this”.

I’ve tried to speak about my experiences dating as a bi woman before, and how I’ve been treated badly by lesbians specifically because I’m bi. I’ve had the “you’re going to cheat on me with a man or another woman because you must be a greedy whore” shit, the jealously policing my friendships with EITHER sex. I’ve had the dismissal of my sexual trauma. I’ve had past lesbian partners call me a whore and a cocksucker for dating a man AFTER she broke up with me! Like months after! SO many lesbians want to date bi women but want us to functionally be lesbians? And think they have the right to control who we date AFTER them??? I’ve had partners who would get upset when I would mention I was bi in public because they were insecure and wanted people to think we were both lesbian. And then, god forbid, if I were to go along with it I’d be a heinous bitch pretending to be a lesbian and hurting the whole lesbian community or whatever.

And some lesbians, upon hearing these experiences, will say “hur durr just date men then!” Like oh my god! I don’t WANT to date men!! Aren’t you the same people ALWAYS telling bi women they are stupid for dating men?? The whole faux innocent “oh well I’m just warning her about men and how if she decides to date one and gets assaulted it’s her fault. Cause she chose to date him”. Or “just date other bi women then!” Funny thing is, real life isn’t like swiping on a dating app where you can control for all these qualities. It’s SO hard to find women to date as a woman to begin with. I’m not gonna meet a woman in a gay bar and really mesh with her and go “wait wait. Before we go any further… are you a lesbian?? I don’t date those. I’ll only date you if you’re also into cock”. These people are honestly terminally online and probably haven’t had a relationship in real life.

And that’s from WOMEN. This is on top of the shit I get from men! But when I talk about this on radblr all I get are lesbians going “well bi women actually oppress lesbians so.” “Well you’re actually not systematically oppressed for being bi so”. Shut the fuck up basically.

Like yeah? Ok? I’m not systematically oppressed by lesbians or whatever? Like, yeah, I know? Why can’t we have a conversation where I say “there’s a common problem with how some members of this community treat members of another community” without it being dissected on some axis of oppression feminist theory shit? It’s always “well lesbians have it so much worse so you can’t complain about lesbians” despite bi women being the demographic that statistically experiences the highest level of sexual assault and intimate partner violence. SURELY we are allowed to talk about that then?? It drives me insane. Not to mention the fact that obviously we DO experience homophobia as well. I am treated no differently publicly being in a same sex relationship than my lesbian girlfriend would be. To listen to some of these people bi women are the most privileged spoiled demographic ever and society doesn’t hate us in the slightest. Biphobia doesn’t exist at all (ignore the entire Amber Heard trial where half of the lies the media made up about her were about her being some kind of sexual degenerate, about her being a madam at a lesbian sex club, about her “abusing” her ex-girlfriend despite the girlfriend coming out and saying it was a load of shit. Johnny Depp called her slurs and wouldn’t let her have female OR male friends cause he was so jealous and paranoid).

Sorry for the really long ask. I feel like nobody is addressing this stuff cause we don’t really have a sense of community on here. Most other bi women I come across on radblr do the self deprecation thing and constant apologising to lesbians and dragging other bi women down. So we know they’re the “good ones”. We don’t stand up for each other and I don’t know why.

let it out sis!!! this is a safe space for bi women who don't self-flagellate <3 i'm not interested in doing this bisexual penance shit that radblr loves and you shouldn't either. we're accountable for our own shit and only our own shit. don't kowtow for so long that you start letting anyone pile any random shit onto your back and claim that's now your problem, too.

[heymrstargazer]

im here to put in my two cents, and, frankly, im not here to be nice about it

i will be honest, ive avoided writing this for a while because im absolutely pissed about it. ive been alive plenty long enough to know people are pieces of shit sometimes, but this is too much. 

all for the game, being a mostly lgbtq+ fandom, has become beyond disappointing as of late. not because of the books themselves, or sudden realizations we’ve made regarding the series’ morals, but because of the pure amount of entitled shitty people who have come to find it. im not stupid; i know this is a book series, not real life. but, the issue is more than words on paper. 

a lot of my mutuals have said beautiful, genius things on the matter. im not as eloquent as them, or even as dedicated, but i will say it matters a whole damn lot to me. 

neil josten is demisexual. demisexual. how many of you didnt even know what that term was? how many people still have no clue was asexual is? how many people, even after hearing that neil is demisexual, were too fucking lazy to look it up? 

as an aro-ace person, i knew exactly what that was. and i was fucking ecstatic. not once before that had i ever seen any type ace representation, much less the main character of a book series i love. yes, i picked up the signs, and yes, the thought crossed my mind more than once. but to have it actually confirmed??? HOLY SHIT. do you know how exciting that is???

AND THEN i come to the fandom to see so many other people on the ace spectrum?????? it was like giving a child a lifetime supply of candy bars.

but, outside of this safe little space, you see people saying bullshit like “i think he’s better as gay. him being demi just doesnt sit right with me.” you know what doesn’t sit right with me? the fact that its those same people saying “im queer and i support others who are, too” but the second a sexuality doesnt fit into the range of an already-conceived fetish, they completely ignore and/or invalidate it. that is not supporting other queer people. that is being an absolute piece of shit person who cannot see past things they already understand. 

oh, not to fucking mention there are already two other gay men in the books. why cant you write their characters, hm? you have the time and effort to rewrite the main characters’ entire identity, feminizing him to an sickly unrecognizable point, but you cant write one chapter where andrew minyard wears a skirt? what kind of acephobic, homophobic bullshit is that???

im so done with people saying they support the others in this fandom, but then refuse to recognize the one, singular sliver of representation we have. if you cant put yourself out of an overused stereotype and actually encourage a relationship that isn’t perfectly molded to your standards, then i think you’re lying. you aren’t supporting jack shit, and you certainly aren’t supporting essential representation.

neil josten is demisexual, and that is an actual, unarguable fact. so stop making a fucking fool of yourself trying to say he isn’t. it’s pathetic. 

[ldss-interactive]

At Alter’s End: A CYOA Novel

Overview:

Trentworth, Maine. A town of ten thousand southeast of Ellsworth and North of Bayside. Its only bragging point since its conception in 1867 was being a shoreline city and cheaper than any of the other big tourist towns. Nothing ever happened here, besides the occasional drowning or fishing trip accident, until the killings started. They lasted five years in total and 48 people were lost to the killer’s sick desires. Robert Hall terrorized this small town, slipping under the radar by focusing on those considered “undesirable”; sex workers, orphans, drug addicts, and the like. Now ten years later, ten years after the killer has been put behind bars, murders have begun again. A copycat killer has come to Trentworth. And they seem to be targeting the ones left behind, still trying to pick up the shattered pieces of their lives…

You take the role of a highschool senior; your parents having died in a home fire shortly before the killer was put behind bars and now under the care of your workaholic aunt. Make allies of your classmates or attempt to go it alone, clear your parents’ name from their believed involvement with the killer or fight to put the past behind you, deal with the skeletons in your closet and mind or bury them deeper... Oh, and make sure your history project is turned in on time. With two young siblings depending on you and a whole host of problems a highschool student should never have to deal with, can you survive this nightmare made real?

Trigger Warnings: This game will go into very heavy topics including the following; murder, death, various mental health issues (such as PTSD, depression, and anxiety), abandonment, gambling, various types of drug addiction, self harm mentions (not happening to the MC or shown in graphic detail), suicide, sex work, child abuse (mental, emotional, and physical), and dangerous situations. This is a murder mystery/thriller, it is NOT intended for audiences below 18.

Hello! Thank you for showing interest in At Alter’s End. This is a Choose Your Own Adventure style novel in the Thriller and Murder Mystery genres. It would also fit nicely in the Drama genre as well, but Drama is not the focus. This will be a rather lengthy project, with fifteen chapters plus a prologue and epilogue planned.

You take on the role of a senior at Trentworth High. Join an after-school activity, take care of your younger siblings, prepare for finals, get a part time job, find a date to homecoming, and survive your worst nightmare come to life. The copycat killer is targeting the students of your school and no one is safe. With the police dragging their feet, no help coming any time soon from any higher up law enforcement, and the locals refusing to acknowledge the possibility of a copycat killer, it’s up to you and your classmates to find the person responsible...before it’s too late.

- You can play as female, male, nonbinary, or trans!

- You can be straight, gay, or bisexual!

- A highly customizable MC including hair color, eye color, skin color, hair length, height, and personality and interests!

- The ability to choose which mental illness the MC suffers from due to the trauma of their past from the following:

Anxiety, Depression, or PTSD.

- The MC is deaf in their right ear ear due to the way in which their parents died; this is not something that can be changed.

- Choose from 7 different official after-school activities! Trentworth Volunteers, Up and Coming Artists, National Debate Society, National Honors Society, Co-Ed Varsity Basketball, Creative Writing, and Trentworth Gardeners!

- Bond with your classmates, explore your town, and help raise your younger siblings!

- Rescue your parents’ bakery from corporate clutches or let it go!

- Find the killer, stop the murders, and put a stop to the rumors that have plagued your every step for 10 years!

Vanya: Oldest adoptive twin sibling to MC’s adoptive siblings, 6 years younger than MC. Strong-headed, intelligent, and always getting into trouble. She looks after her brother and MC in the ways she can.

Ajay: Youngest adoptive twin sibling to MC’s adoptive sibling, 6 years younger than MC. Nearly completely blind since birth, he enjoys painting and other artistic endeavors. Obedient yet opinionated.

Aunt Emma: The workaholic aunt that takes custody of MC and their younger siblings after the death of their parents. Well meaning but absent most of the time on business trips or at the office.

Kwan Hall: An adoptive relative to Robert Hall; aloof, intelligent, and completely ostracized by Trentworth as a whole. When the killings start again the town’s attention is immediately turned on Kwan. He’s the first to begin investigating the killings when the police prove their incompetence. He is of Korean descent, standing at 5’6” with dark hair and dark eyes. His most notable feature is the long scar that stretches from his forehead’s hairline, down his left temple, and ends just below his jawline and the constant disinterest on his face. He is asexual in that he doesn’t experience sexual attraction at all. He is also bisexual.

Alessia D’Agostina: Trentworth High’s school president. She’s clawed her way tooth and nail up to earn the respect of both the school faculty and her fellow classmates; she’s strong-willed, dependable, and always looks at things through a logical lens. When she sees her classmates dying, she takes it upon herself to try and stop this once and for all. With dark skin, deep brown eyes, long braided hair, and standing at 5’8” her confidence and sense of self always make sure she stands out from the crowd. Alessia is bisexual.

Georgiy Kuzmin: Twin brother to Anastasiya Kuzmin; he is, in the kindest way possible, not the brightest bulb in the box. Yet he always means well and is more than willing to offer a helping hand. As the co-captain of the basketball team, captain of the baseball team, and the star of the swim team, Georgiy is one of the most popular and well beloved students at Trentworth High. When he realizes his friends are in danger, he willingly throws himself into the investigation to do all he can to help. With fair skin, dirty blond hair, bubbly green eyes, and standing at 6’1” he cuts an approachable figure to anyone who knows him. Georgiy is gay.

Anastasiya Kuzmin: Twin sister to Georgiy Kuzmin: she and her brother are alike in so many ways apart from just appearance. Anastasiya, who goes by Ana more often than not, is head of the Co-Ed Varsity Basketball team, the Girls’ softball team, and the Tennis team. Just as popular and loved as her brother, Ana may not be the smartest but she makes up for it with passion and dedication. Like her brother, she has fairer skin, dirty blond hair, and bright green eyes. Also like her brother, she felt she couldn’t just sit around while her friends were put in danger and agreed to join the investigation. Ana is gay and demiromantic, meaning she only gains feelings for someone after having a strong relationship with them.

Lillian Triano: A quiet, withdrawn girl who mainly keeps to herself. Due to the fact that Trentworth High demands for every senior to be apart of an elective, she is mainly seen in afterschool reading club run by Ms. Habeeb. She’s MC’s closest friend, having been one of the only people who didn’t believe the rumors that MC’s parents were assisting Robert Hall in his murders. She has an olive complexion, brown eyes, a heavy dose of freckles, and stands at 5’1”. Lillian is gay.

Jasmine Abernathy: Jasmine is Trentworth High’s self proclaimed “Best news source!” After the school newspaper was disbanded, Jasmine took it upon herself to keep freedom of the press alive. She’s fierce in her pursuit of the truth and never one to back down from a fight, though her rash attitude can get her into some sticky situations on occasion. With vibrant red hair, dark brown eyes, and standing at 5’3” she puts the term “fire” in Fire Signs. (She’s an Aries in astrology!) When the copycat killings began, it was no surprise when she took the case head on. Jasmine is bisexual.

Asa San Nicholas: Asa is the oldest of a set of triplets; they’re the type to march to the beat of their own drum, often not listening to what anyone has to say about themselves or their interests. Asa is a firm believer in the paranormal and it isn’t uncommon to find them indulging in their interest in various ways. “The spirits are distrubed. These deaths aren’t meant to happen.” Asa’s reason for getting involved seems to tie directly back to their “connection” with the spirits of the town. Asa has black hair, most often tied in a ponytail, hazel eyes, and an olive skin tone. At 6’4” they tower over most everyone...something they seem to enjoy a great deal. Asa doesn’t see gender and is interested in people regardless of how they present.

Leo San Nicholas: The middle of the triplets. They are genderfluid, okay with any pronouns. Leo is, for lack of a better word, eccentric. A bit of an adrenaline junkie, you can often find them cliff diving or giving their siblings heart attacks by playing russian roulette with a chocolate gun. To them, it isn’t fun if there isn’t a little danger involved; naturally, an investigation into a serial killer scratches that itch quite nicely. Their black hair is clipped short, multiple piercings visible on each ear, and their heterochromatic hazel and green eyes are often stated to stare through a person. Although Leo is genderfluid, they are only interested in people who present as female.

The demo is upcoming! When it is available I will make a post announcing it! I will also update this post with the link! This game is written in choicescript; the demo will be published on Dashingdon and the final game will be published for free on itch.io. I am open for questions regarding this game/novel and once the demo is published I will also be publishing a link to my Ko-fi! Until then, please don’t hesitate to ask if you have any questions!

[frogsmulder]

My July Reads

The Girl in the Red Coat by Roma Ligocka (translated by Margot Bettauer Dembo from German)

Started May 2018 finished August 2022 (mostly read in July 2022)

Dark, reflective, nonfiction, historical

Ligocka was inspired to write this autobiography when she saw the premier of Schindler's List: she recognised the girl in the redcoat as herself. She spent her childhood in the Krakow ghetto but managed to escape with her mother in 1945, constantly moving around to avoid death. It is heartbreaking in its retelling, honouring the bewilderment of children forced to face this reality, but also the trauma they are left with as they become adults in a new world. It brings to light how important communication is with loved ones and is another major influence for the penning of this book, with its dedication "For my son, Jakob" after such a complicated relationship with Ligocka's own mother.

I genuinely cried whilst reading it, the loneliness and isolation of Ligocka throughout her life, her frustration with her own identity, politics, and social conventions, and her dealings with mental health all make for a hard but worth while read. I often hard to put it down because of its intensity and cause for reflection.

The most memorable parts for me were the secret garden her mother created for her whilst they were in hiding, her close and then distant relationship with her mother, not being able to understand that the war was over/not understanding what freedom was, and (skip the rest of this paragraph if you don't want to read about bodily autonomy violation) forced abortion.

The Binding by Bridget Collins

Started February 2022 finished July 2022

Parallel world, victorian industrial, dark acadamia, mlm gay, amnesia, enemies to lovers, fantasy

You can forget things you don't want to remember by visiting a binder and putting your memories in a book. Emmett Farmer is a binder who suffers with binderbound fever. By accident he discovered his book and his lost memories. He remembers his first love, Lucian Darnay, but Lucian cannot remember him.

This is my favourite book of the year so far, maybe ever. Its also the first lgbtq book I've read and I completely understand it now, I cried when Emmett's parents found out about his gay relationship. It was heartbreaking but thankfully ends on a hopeful note. It took me a while to get into it but once there, the characters are loveable and I couldn't put it down.

My favourite moments are literally all of part 2 and the ending. Which are basically the romantic parts.

The Mad Women's Ball by Victoria Mas (translated by Frank Wynne from French)

Started and finished July 2022

Spiritualism, feminism, anti ableism, novella, industrial France

The daughter of a lawyer and well-to-do family, Eugénie, has no intentions of getting married and regularly sneaks off to bars and coffee houses. When she attends a debate with the aid of her brother about the spiritual world, she learns that she is not alone in the gift she has as a medium. She knows if she tells anyone, however she will end up in the Salêtrière.

The daughter of a country doctor, Geneviève, traumatised by the death of her sister becomes a nurse to help others to atone for not being able to help her sister. She believes only is science and fact: this is her religion.

The Mad Women's Ball was a real historical event where once a year, the Parisian elite could interact with the inmates of the Salêtrière, like viewing animals in a zoo.

I appreciated this book more after reading the author's note at the end and her intended comment on the voyeuristic habits of society and drawing comparisons to modern reality TV. The characters are all engaging but the feminist message I feel was a little heavy at times and distracted from the story. I do wish we got to know more about all of the characters and their stories but I enjoyed the read nontheless. I also wish Geneviéve and Eugénie's relationship could have been more developed. The Epilogue of the book really hit though, especially for Geneviève's character development.