#they were gonna make us over 50% of our profit...

[moralchampion]

Well thanks ktm for ruining not only jobs in Austria but also the company I work for. Let's see if I still have a job by next year...

[elliespillowprincess]

SHES MY DRUG

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pt 1

pt 2

pt 3

a/n: this is my first ever (kinda) fic so it kinda sucks and is all over the place.. rockstar/band ellie has been on my mind too much lately so yk i had to.

c/w: modern au, reader is in college (premed), biker ellie!!! smut next part!! mentions of smoking, drinking and drugs (reader and ellie), fem reader, plus size reader, insecure reader, fluff, abby is readers mean ex (abby lovers im sorry, i still love her) angst, body dysmorphia, fatphobia, race of reader not specified, TERRIBLY WRITTEN, not proofread

WHY YOU SHOULD NOT SUPPORT NEIL DRUCKMANN

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“hey did you hear about the music festival in town this weekend?” your friend, liliana, asks, making you wake up from the trance your computer put you in. you and liliana had been friends prior to college, meeting in your honors anatomy class in high school. with a similar career goal in mind, you two decided to go to the same college and become roomates. you two had been in your towns coffee shop for hours, trying to finish an assignment your biology professor gave you two.

“there’s a festival here? nobody ever comes out here.” you reply. nobody has ever done any concerts, festivals, or performances in your town. it was so small, they wouldn’t make enough profit so it just didn’t seem worth the trip. the only performances you ever saw were done by drunken men in your college bar.

“yeah! i don’t really know anyone that’s going though. it’d be nice to check out!”. she scrolls to find a post advertising the festival, with a list of who’s going. to nobody’s surprise, the list is small; 3 performers. “the tickets are only $50, we should go!!” she says whilst you’re reading the informative post. “i don’t know, lili, i mean who even are these people? is it even worth our money?” the idea of wasting your weekend at a festival, where you don’t know anyone playing, when you could be studying for finals makes you nervous.

“come onnn y/n, we can’t waste our uni years studying all the time! when we graduate, we’re gonna be swamped with med school work, might as well make the most out of the time we have!” liliana says cheerfully. sure, you could spare the hours, but you had so much on your plate. finals, work, and not even mentioning the fact you just broke up with your girlfriend of 4 years. you look at her face, she’s using puppy-dog eyes to hopefully persuade you into going. “i’ll think about it.”

you’re laying in your dorm room, back hunched over your laptop, with your hands in your hair. liliana was staying at her boyfriends house for the night, leaving you all alone. the amount of studying you’ve done in the past hours giving you a throbbing headache and double vision. you harshly close your laptop, saying “i’ll do it later.” in your head, lazily getting up to grab some advil from your medicine cabinet. you open the familiar bottle and pop a few pills into your mouth. walking to your bed, you plop down, and begin scrolling mindlessly on instagram.

then you remember what your friend was telling you about earlier, and you decide to look at your towns instagram. a new post making you curious as nothing had been posted since the fourth of july fireworks at the towns lake. you click on it, a flashy banner lighting up your screen.

GOLDWHIT GROVES FIRST EVER MUSIC FESTIVAL; FEATURING:

BEHIND THE ANGER

ELLIE WILLIAMS

DRAW MY BLOOD

THIS SATURDAY ONLY

you chuckle, finding the names of the bands amusing. one of them, however, drew your attention. the only one who was seemingly a solo performer, ellie williams. you decide to close your towns page and type the name into your search bar. your eyebrows raise at the amount of fan accounts this “ellie” has. you click on the only account with the blue verification symbol on it, her page filling your screen.

holy shit.

she was hot. like, really hot.

you click on her most recent post and it’s a video of her at one of her concerts. she’s playing an electric guitar furiously with gritted teeth. you hear girls screaming and see their hands reaching out trying to feel her. clearly, she craves all the attention so she pulls off her white wife beater, throwing it into the crowd. the screaming only intensifies as she has a douchey smile on her face. the video cuts of and you scroll through the different videos the post has, all of the same nature. you read the caption, “see you next time, dallas.” with no tags.

you open your messages app and begin typing to liliana.

you: ok maybe we should go to that festival i just stalked one of the performers and FUCKKK she’s hot

the bands have goofy names tho

“behind the anger” boy shaddup

you wait until you see the bubble appear, indicating she’s responding.

lili😦: TOLD U WE SHOULD GO! venmo me the money im buying tickets rn.

you laugh softly at her excitement to go, and open venmo, sending her $50. another message pops up.

lili😦: *photo attachment*

who were you looking at btw?

you open the message seeing the qr code for your ticket.

you: that ellie williams chick she looks like an asshole but a HOT asshole yk

i want her to play me like that guitar

gonna become a groupie😋

your tiredness takes over after texting lili for the past few hours, telling her goodnight and closing your phone.

the brightness of the morning sun wakes you up. it’s saturday, and thank GOD you had no classes today. you stay in your bed, opening tiktok. it kinda creeps you out that the first video is an edit of the girl you were gawking over last night. as the edit plays, you become even more excited for the festival later in the day. you look to the top of your screen for the time, 12:37. you partially curse yourself for letting yourself sleep in that late, getting up to brush your teeth.

lili😦: ARE U EXCITED FOR TN??

andrew is asking if he can come

smh he’s so clingy

kinda cute tho

the pinging of your phone causes you to finish brushing your teeth, spitting out the foam in your mouth and wiping your face.

you: i don’t mind

yall better not be like those concert couples

sitting on his shoulders n shit i’ll knock you off

you didn’t really mind as you’ve known andrew as long as you’ve know liliana. they’ve been together for the past six years, and you guys used to go on double dates with your ex all the time, it was like a little group.

lili😦: LMFAOOO we won’t

can we get ready tg 🥺

you have all the cute body glitter

you: sure come home whenever

you turn on the shower, grabbing a towel from the cabinet before hopping in. while washing your body, you begin thinking about what you’re gonna wear. you start to think about what ellie williams would notice you in, before laughing at yourself for being so delusional. she doesn’t know you, or care about you.

you’re just another girl.

hours had gone by, liliana and her boyfriend were hanging out at your shared apartment, pregaming and getting ready. the festival started at 4, and ended at 10. “hey y/n? where’s the-“ you walk in, and liliana is making a gawking face. “you look SO hot hello?” beaming at you. partially, you feel a little silly. you’re wearing the outfit she picked for you: a lacy cami, short black skirt, and a leather jacket. you have dark smudgey eye makeup, dark red lipstick, and star clips in your hair.

“i feel dumb.” you say, looking down and laughing at yourself. you never wore revealing clothes, being wayyyy too insecure to show yourself off this this. i mean, your boobs were spilling out of your shirt, your ass visible under your skirt, and your stomach uncovered. “shut the fuck up, you look good. we gotta leave soon- shit wait do you have pasties?”

as andrew drives the three of you to the concert, liliana in the front and you in the back, you become nervous. what if someone’s mean? what if something bad happens? what if it gets too cold? what if you start your period?

“y/n?” the calling of your name makes your head perk up. “we’re putting on that ellie chick, gotta know some of the music if you’re gonna SMASH her tonight!!” she says with a giggle. you roll your eyes as lili goes to her music app and selects her top song.

she’s my drug

the title pops up along with a photo of ellie lighting what looks like a joint. the song starts and it eases your nerves, her raspy voice over the melodic electric guitar makes a perfect combination. the excitement for the festival grows once again as the three of you near the festival.

you were kinda surprised at the amount of people that came. it looked like the entire town was there. there were a lot of unfamiliar faces wearing the bands merch. you saw a lot of girls wearing shirts with ellie williams’ tour dates on the back. “i hope the bands aren’t shit.” andrew says, laughing and getting out of the car. “at least we know one of the performers isn’t.” the three of you, out of the car, walk to the entrance. there were old-looking metal detectors that look like they were borrowed from the local police department. you all go through and have your bags checked and tickets scanned, walking towards the one and only stage.

the first band, behind the anger, got on stage. not many people were going crazy, but there were a few drunken men screaming their songs. liliana and andrew were enjoying them, but you were dying for something to drink, craving a shitty festival cocktail and a cigarette. tapping liliana on the shoulder, “hey, guys? i’ll be right back, i’m gonna grab something to drink.” you shout over the music. “alright, don’t take too long! your girlfriend should be out soon!” you roll your eyes laughing and shuffle your way out of the crowd.

walking up to the one and only vendor, you gaze on the menu. different beers, seltzers, cocktails, and liquors. “can i just cut infront of you? i gotta get up there soon.” you hear a voice behind you say. you turn around, partially offended and, holy shit.

it felt like a movie, a book, a fanfiction. what are the chances that she’s infront of you right now? you blink your eyes, not really believing what you’re seeing. nobody’s around you two besides the vendor, shocking as you’d expect girls flocking around her. it’s her. it’s ellie williams.

“excuse me?” you blurt out, not realizing how rude you sounded. i mean, you were just standing there, the only one in line, not moving. was it rude for her to ask. she kind of laughs at you, kissing her teeth. you got a good chance to look at her. she’s wearing cargo pants with a black wifebeater shirt that lifted slightly, allowing you to see what looks like abs, her tattoo covering her forearm, and her hair tied messily in a half-bun.

“i said,” she says, taking a half step towards you, “can i just cut infront of you?” you look around, dumbfounded. “no, you can’t. i’m ordering right now.” you say, matter-of-factly. you spin on your heels and order whatever shitty cocktail your eyes first land on and she chuckles at your behavior. the vendor types it into his tablet. “that’ll be $9.24. cash or card?” you open your purse, looking for the $10 bill you stuck in your purse for this exact reason. of course, like a fucking movie, it’s gone. “sorry just give me one sec.” you say, furiously looking through your purse, embarrassed.

“i got it, put it with mine. lemme get a rum coke.” the girl says flatly, slightly pushing you aside. you roll your eyes at the push and step aside, very embarrassed at the entire interaction. you grab a cigarette from your purse and attempt to light it, but the fluid is all out.

of course. how much more cliché could this get? ellie puts her card away in her wallet and shoves it into her front pocket as the vendor goes to make the two drinks. “need help?” she says, reaching her hand into her pocket and getting out a lighter, it was black and very scratched up. “these are bad for you, y’know?” she says in a cocky tone before grabbing her own and lighting it. the two of you were so far away from the rest of the crowd it that it was almost quiet.

“i’m studying to be a doctor, i know.” you say, the cigarette hanging limply between your lips still attempting to light it. “what’s a smart girl like you doing smoking and drinking then huh? you’re the one who’s supposed to tell people not to.” she says, bringing the lighter to the stick in your mouth and lighting it for you, the closeness of your face to her hands making you nervous. “pineapple cocktail and a rum coke?” you hear the vendor shout; the moment breaks and ellie pushes the lighter into her pocket before grabbing the two drinks, handing you yours before turning around and waving slightly, with the cigarette in her mouth.

“see you up there, doll.”

“bitch you will not believe what just happened” you say, finally making it back to where andrew and liliana were after having to shove through the crowd, almost spilling your drink all over yourself. “i just spoke t-“ the sound of screams interrupts your sentence and people push you and your friends forward, trying to get closer to the stage. you look up to see what is making people so eager, and see her. and holy shit, does she look good on stage. “how are we doing tonight, goldwhit grove?” she says into the mic, making the squeals of the girls around you erupt even louder, some drunkenly trying to take their shirts off before their more sober friends stop them.

after speaking into the mic for a bit about god knows what, you could barely hear her, she strums her guitar making people scream even louder. “what should we start out with?” she slurs into the mic. she looks like she’s on something, but what musician isn’t. you hear people screaming different names you haven’t heard of, before she says “she’s my drug? that’s all yall wanna hear.” she laughs before starting the song. it is her top song for a reason, it sounds phenomenal. you’re trying to enjoy your time, but the amount of people pushing you and stepping on your feet is annoying you.

after a few songs you hear her voice echo, “guys, let’s back it up a bit, you’re crushing people.” part of you wants to think she said that because she was looking at you, but you reality check yourself quickly. nobody listened, and you feel someone step on your heel for the hundredth time, finally deciding to say something.

“did you not hear her? i can barely breathe dude chill out.” you say to the drunken girl behind you. she looks angry, angry that you had the balls to speak up. she shoves you aggressively, making you bump into the person in front of you. now they’re mad at you too, for bumping into them so harshly. you try defending yourself when you feel a cold drink splashed on your chest. your final straw.

you shove your way out of the crowd, leaving behind your friends and deciding you’ll wait until ellie’s performance is over to join them again. once youre out, you make eye contact with the girl on stage. she has her head low and it almost looked like she was looking at you. you get lost on her, she’s playing so aggressively but strategically. before your imagination goes too far, you see her look around to the rest of the crowd, girls screaming when they look her direction.

you walk away, deciding to take a seat on the grass and light a cigarette while you wait. there were a lot of other people sitting around you, assuming they left for the same reason. you’re scrolling mindlessly on your phone until you hear a familiar voice.

“y/n?”

you look up, and it’s her. why the fuck did she have to be here? you were actually enjoying yourself, besides the few rude people, and she had to show up and ruin it all.

“what the fuck are you doing here abby?” you spit out. you’re furious. you haven’t spoken to her in a few weeks, and there were actually days you didn’t think about her at all. “hey, i was just trying to be nice. what are you all butt hurt about?” she says, towering over you sitting on the grass. she always made you feel small, not just physically, but mentally too. you sigh, not wanting to let her control your emotions any longer. the partially-distant sound of ellie’s guitar stopped, making it seem so much more quiet.

“you here with ava?” you spit out at her. she looks like she took that offensively, even though she was the one who cheated on you. “what’s that supposed to mean?” she says back, her tone becoming more aggressive. you push your cigarette into the grass, putting it out and standing up. “what are you wearing?” now that you’re closer, you notice her cheeks are red, and so are her eyes. she’s crossed. you know how she acts when she’s drunk, so you simply gather your things, trying to ignore the entire situation and join your friends. the people who were previously around you had gotten up to go back to the stage as ellie had gotten off.

“where are you going?” it sounds like she expects you to stay. to come running back. to cling to her. “to my friends.” you flatly state while walking away. you feel a hand grab your wrist. “i’m talking to you, y/n. it’s rude to walk away from people when they’re talking to you, y’know?” her tone is that of mockery. like you’re a child and she’s trying to teach you a lesson. “did the breakup make you gain that much weight? god i really ruined you huh?” you try to yank your hand away, “let go of me abby, seriously it’s not funny.” her grip doesn’t subside and only grows stronger, making you wince.

“she said no dude, can you not take a hint?”

you turn around and see ellie walking towards the conflict. this is so cliche. “are you a groupie now?” abby laughs at you, and as soon as she says that ellie shoves her off. as attractive as ellie was, abby was stronger. she was built, and she could take down almost anyone. “stop, this is dumb.” you say as they get close to each other. “yeah, yeah it is. don’t know why i’m getting all mad over a groupie slut. you can have her.” she says, walking out of the venue. you see a ditsy blonde girl following after her asking if she’s okay as she furiously walks, not responding to her. you try not to cry at her words, why does she still have such an effect on you?

“you okay?” you hear ellie asking you, almost forgetting she was there. “yeah- yeah. sorry about that. and thank you.” you say, extremely embarrassed while wiping your tears. she’s just looking at you. not saying anything. she didn’t know what to say.

“wanna go get a drink to cheer you up?”

that’s how you ended up in a random bar, with ellie fucking williams. after she asked you to drinks, she took you to the back stage, careful not to be spotted by any fans, where she grabbed her bags and headed for the exit. she was able to sober up before the ride home. while walking out, girls spotted her, running up and asking for her auto graph. she obliged for a few until one asked to sign her boobs, “i gotta go, girls.” her bodyguards following behind the two of you making them back off. you were expecting a van or a car, but no.

she rides a motorcycle.

she just got hotter.

lifting the seat, she tosses her bag into the large compartment, replacing the extra helmet which she handed to you. your heart was racing, you’ve never ridden on a motorcycle before. you nervously put the helmet on your head. “here, lemme help.” she says, pulling the band tightening the helmet ensuring it’s on tight, before tapping it lightly and swinging a leg over her motorcycle. she reached her bent elbow out, waiting for you to use her to help you get on. you grab onto her arm and swing your leg over, getting more comfortable.

“hold on.”

“so where’d you hear my music?” she says, babysitting another rum and coke looking at you intently. she was careful not to drink too much knowing she had to drive home. the two of you had been at the bar for two hours, just talking. a few people coming up every so often to get her autograph. “i actually just only heard about it the other day, through the festival.” you say shyly, hoping she won’t take offense. she laughs softly looking down. “i guess it’s a good thing for me huh? got another monthly listener and a pretty girl talking to me.” everything she says is so blunt, so easy.

you start to wonder how many other girls she’s charmed with the same line.

“wanna head out?” she says. “you can come back to mine- fuck, i can take you to yours. sorry, that sounded desperate.” she laughs, picking up the two helmets and your purse, handing it to you. with the bill paid, the two of you walked to her bike. she opens the door and waits for you to walk through.

“why don’t we go back to yours?” you say boldly. she looks surprised, and sets her helmet on her bike, placing yours gently on your head. she puts hers on, hops on the bike, and helps you get on.

“alrighty.”

you didn’t know how much you’d actually like being on a motorcycle. there’s so much adrenaline, she’s speeding through cars and air is whipping around the helmet. your chest is pushed tightly to her back, your hands wrapped around her waist. luckily, her wearing her helmet made it impossible for people to spot her, making it an easy ride back to her hotel, the only hotel in town. parking her bike in a designated spot, she holds her arm out allowing you to slide off easily, her following behind you. she opens up the bikes seat, grabbing her backpack, and locks it.

“we should hurry before someone spots you!” you giggle. the alcohol making you feel so light and ditsy, following her to her room like a lost puppy. she pulls the key out and unlocks it, holding the door for you and locking it after you. she tosses her things on the hotels desk as you lay down on her bed. smiling to yourself.

“what’cha smiling about pretty girl?”

you giggle, tapping the bed indicating her to lay next to you. “this doesn’t feel real” you laugh out as she crawls on the bed, “i mean, im living every gay girls dream right now, hello? i’m in a hotel with ellie *hic* williams!!” she laughs at your drunken state, reaching to the bedside mini fridge to grab a seltzer. “you’re cute, y/n”. your ears kinda perk up, not remembering when you told her your name.

“how do you know my name?” you say, squinting your eyes at her. she cracks open the can. “calm down, princess, i heard it when that dick was talking to you earlier.” you notice she becomes a little annoyed. “i’m glad i took money out of her pocket but fuck, i got douches at my show.” she takes a long drink from her can. your rose-colored glasses didn’t even care about abby right now, or how much ellie hated her from their first interaction, you just wanted more of her.

you snuggle closer to her, wanting to breathe her in. you’re on the left side of her, laying on your side as she’s on her back. the level of intimacy between the two of you makes your head spin. you guys just met. part of you feels bad that she, a fucking rockstar, probably wants more than a simple conversation and cuddling. you sit up slightly, trying to remove your shirt, “hey, what are you doing?” she says, looking confused. you’re struggling to take your shirt off, it being tight and you being drunk. “feel bad. you probably get girls eeeeveryday doin this.. know why you’s wanted m’here so- so i’ll do it.” your works are slurring and hardly making sense and you’re starting to get frustrated. partially from not being able to take off the uncomfortable shirt, and part from not wanted anything sexual now, not in this state and not when you hardly know her.

she grabs your hands and stops you, making you look at her. “hey, i don’t wanna do anything, ‘kay? we can watch a movie after i get you some clothes to change into.” you put your arms down watching her get up and get an oversized band tee. “don’know if it’ll fit, els.” you say, sadly. she turns around, waiting for you to try it on. “just try it, princess.” you try taking the shirt off again, but just can’t. you get so frustrated you start tearing up, making her turn around and help you. “m’gonna take it off okay?” you nod, lifting your arms as she helps you take your shirt off. “don’t look!!” you say, laughing and pushing her away. she turns around, laughing, “okay, okay” allowing you to put the shirt on and take your bra off from under the shirt. finally, you slip your skirt off.

“done!” you say, smiling watching her turn around as she makes eye contact with you, her face turning pink. she walks towards you, smiling down at you on the bed. “wanna watch a movie?” she asks, picking up a remote and a bag of what looks like joints, pulling one out along with the lighter in her pocket. you nod, asking “can i have one?” she closes the bag, replying “you’re way too drunk, sweetheart.” she flicks on the tv, putting on whatever shitty movie was playing on the hotel tv at the time. you both crawl under the bed, cuddling up into her. you hear a familiar click of the lighter, and the sound of the paper and weed burning. she plays with your hair, making you more and more sleepy, drifting off into a deep sleep state.

the next morning, you wake up unsure of where you are. you look around the room, its messy and there’s clothes, food, and drinks everywhere. you lift your head and look to the right and see none other, than ellie williams.

what the fuck happened last night?

[thekinkyleopard]

A Rough Night

A Sven & Elex Snz Drabble

⚠️Content Warning⚠️

Allergens, Snz, Violence, Cursing

Description: The boys try to escape the stress by heading out to the bar. Yet, it doesn’t go well when a nearby patron triggers the badger’s sensitive allergies!

Author’s Notes: Oh….Hey guys 😅 I’ve had this one sitting for about a month and haven’t had the will to write because well….my life has been insane while going through this divorce, moving, meeting someone new and trying to figure my shit out. 😭 Found myself with the slight will to live tonight, so I finished this idea up! Theres no smut, I KNOW IM SORRY….but I had a lot of fun writing this out. Hope you all enjoy and I’m sorry I’m constantly coming and going. Been a rough year. I love yall who still interact and wait patiently for my next release. You real ones 🥺💚 @aller-geez Owns Sven and did the cover art!

Elex and Sven pushed open the heavy wooden doors, the sounds of raucous laughter and clinking glasses assaulted their ears. The dimly lit bar was filled with a thick haze of smoke, making it difficult to see through the throngs of people milling about. Elex, with his dull green hair, felt like an alien in this dingy establishment. He wrinkled his nose at the overwhelming stench of stale beer and sweat that hung heavily in the air. "Ugh, this place fuckin’ stinks," he grumbled, his mismatched eyes scanning the crowd, disgusted at the faces that lingered upon them. His annoyance at having to be there was palpable while they stood just inside the entrance.

“Don’t be such a sour puss, Els, I need this night out, and I need a couple drinks to unwind, we’ve been cooped up in the house for WEEKS,” the Cheshire pouted, sticking his tongue out playfully at his somewhat grumpy boyfriend. In response, Elex rolled his eyes in a mixture of annoyance and resignation.

“We’re here aren’t we? Stop your bitchin’ lets go get drunk,” reaching out to grip his boyfriend by the wrist, knowing the hand would be too intimate in such a public setting. Sven was used to this behavior by now and didn’t care, so long as he got to do what they came there to do. Get ripped, yap, maybe snack on some peanuts, and go back home. An adult version of touching some grass. They each walked up to the bar and slid into the empty barstools provided, next to an older gentleman on one side, and a younger on the other. Elex scowled unpleasantly from a side view glance as he slipped into his seat. “Whiskey on the rocks,” the badger ordered off his drink of choice for the night. “Same thing,” Sven chirped with a quick raise of his index before swinging his body slightly over to face more in the other’s direction. “So, tomorrow, I’m thinking about upgrading our internet services, shit is too fuckin’ slow to achieve the game play and stream from what we have currently…it’s fuckin’ up my views,” he pushed back a few strands of stray teal hair that dangled just above his orange gaze. As the bartender slid them their drinks, Elex nodded toward the man before returning his attention to 7. “Yeah okay, well how much extra is that gonna run us do you know? We have some wiggle room but not if the bill goes from $50 to $200….I don’t know….” feeling rather skeptical of all the ways Sven’s streaming has sort of cost them between his personal build, games, internet, and other equipment. He was glad his boyfriend had something he enjoyed doing, and was even able to make a good profit off it, but it felt like everyday he was buying some high tech keyboard, or upping their bills which made it feel like they weren’t really progressing financially. It was starting to stress the badger out, he hadn’t been getting any marks lately since the police were on high alert. Some seasons were just better than others so he had been relying on selling copper, but he was running low on spots to harvest from. It was a miracle they were even making ends meet.

Sven lifted the glass to his lips, taking a slow, deliberate sip of his alcoholic beverage. His body language exuded nonchalance, as if their conversation was about something insignificant and unimportant, he shrugged. Elex could see the indifference in Sven's eyes and it only fueled his own anger. He could feel the heat rising in his chest as he tried to keep his emotions in check. The clinking of ice cubes echoed in the background, a stark contrast to the tension between the two men. “Just a shrug? Seriously? Sven you know we’ve been relying on MY shit to keep us afloat, your fuckin’ video games aren’t paying bills,” his voice cut through like a sharp knife through the chest. “They’re not? Then how did we get $200 worth of groceries yesterday?” With an intense narrowing of his vibrant orange eyes, he directed a heated glare towards his boyfriend. The thoughtless disregard for his feelings left him stunned and incredulous. He internally scoffed, his ‘fucking video games’….as if streaming wasn’t a real line of work. “You’re about to really piss me off….Yes that is useful but our MORTGAGE, and the PG&E, and you know, CAR payments….shit is adding up and every fuckin’ week there’s something new added to the list of your god damn bullshit…I support you wanting to chase a passion but not when it’s effecting the life we have worked so hard to build,” Elex quickly downed the remainder of his drink, wishing for a slight buzz to ease the hopelessness he felt in this conversation.

“Look, I get it, but it fuckin’ takes money to make it so, MAYBE, get off my ass a little bit…can we talk about this later? When we ARENT trying to just enjoy the evening?” With an exasperated shake of his head and a dismissive roll of his eyes, Sven reached out for his glass, the ice cubes clinking against the sides as he lifted it to his lips. Letting out a frustrated sigh, Els knocked on the wooden bar with his knuckles, signaling to the busy bartender for another drink. The sound of glasses clinking and people talking filled the air of the crowded bar, but Elex was lost in his own thoughts as he waited for his order to be fulfilled. Finally, the bartender caught his signal and obliged, sliding a fresh glass towards him with practiced ease.

“Fine but you’re not go-…n..H’…Hih…” he struggled suddenly, noticeably, his mouth started to jar open and it hit him unexpectedly. The older man next to him, had taken off his jacket, wafting a gust of fragrant air directly within Elex’s personal space. “Son of a -…H’UhtTSCHhiew! h’Ushh’iew! etUSCHOOOO!” a sudden series of sneezes escaped his body, his eyes watering, nose and throat suddenly itchier than they’d been in a long time. Was that Gain? Tide pods? He didn’t know, all he knew was the asshole beside him was sending him into a full tizzy. He sniffled gently trying to hide the fact he was slowly turning into a leaking mess, grabbing a bar napkin to wipe his nose carefully. “Shit, you good Els?” Sven reached out to comfort his boyfriend, a flattened palm against his back. The heated urgency of their conversation suddenly melting away when he realized the storm had hit his lover. “Y-Yeah I’m F-…hh’IEXsHHH! H’UMFShhhhiew! h’USSHH!!” it came out full force, he did what he could to capture them within the confines of the napkin he clutched within his palm. Just great, just what he needed on a night out to relax, typical. “Bless you, El…” Sven getting slightly worried they may actually have to just head back home, maybe pick up some drinks from the gas station instead, despite how badly Sven needed a change of pace. “We can head home if you wa-….” “No, we’re nod leabing….SndFff,” he snuffled loudly, trying to snort up any of the excessive leakage that threatened to pour down his face. This was the absolute worst. Curse him and his rat ass allergies. He hucked and hacked, his mouth jarring open and closed as he fought against the allergens making a nest within his sinuses. The bartender slid them their second drinks, taking longer as the bar filled up with more and more patrons. A few people turning to glance with an aura of judgement, but the badger glared daggers and they quickly turned away. “Nosey fuckin-….Hh’uhSSCCHHHHwww! ehh’TSHIEW! hh’IEXSH!!” this time the green haired man blew within the crook of his arm, wetting the spot of skin there with a plume of saliva. “Gross….” he groaned weakly, irritated he didn’t have a whole lot of room to release. “Babe seriously we can just….” suddenly cut off by a lifted brown speckled palm. “Stop, jusd dring your fuggin shid, SNDfF,” He let out a loud, wet snort and reached for the small package of tissues inside the pocket of his jeans. His nose was red and moist from the constant blows as he battled with the scent that still lingered around him. He took a deep breath and tried to clear his congested sinuses but only felt the sharp sting of pain in his nostrils.

“Hey, guy, can you fuckin’ not? You’re grossing us all out,” A random person from across the way chimed in with a snarky remark. The badger slowly turned his head, almost like something out of a horror movie, and locked eyes with the person before responding without hesitation.

“Cope, fugg fade,” retorting so quickly it took the man almost by surprise, blinking a few times to make sure he had heard the badger correctly. “What was that, bro?” he challenged, finishing his beer and slamming the empty glass bottle down on the wooden bar. Elex scoffed, sniffling a bit to try and prepare himself for another response. “Cope. Fugg. Fade.” he said it slowly, emphasizing each word though sounding less intimidating with a stuffed up nose. It didn’t stop him as he stared the patron down with watery daggers. The whites of his eyes had already started to redden.

The tension in the bar thickened as the confrontation escalated. Elex could feel a wave of exhaustion wash over him, fatigue setting into his bones from both the argument with Sven and the relentless assault on his senses brought on by his sudden allergies. He longed for nothing more than to escape this suffocating atmosphere, to retreat to the familiarity of his own space where he could gather his thoughts in peace.

Sven, sensing the volatile energy crackling around them, placed a steadying hand on Elex's shoulder. Despite their disagreement, he knew that Elex needed support now more than ever. “Let’s get out of here,” Sven spoke softly, his voice cutting through the ambient noise of the bar.

With a swift motion, the badger slid his shoulder out from under the cat’s palm, Sven’s arm falling back down to his side. ‘Shit…’ The Cheshire cursed from within. The bomb had been set off and it was only a matter of time before his boyfriend started swinging.

“Oh, so we’re going to have a problem then?” the man stood up straighter, walking over and standing within a few inches of the green haired ticking time bomb. Elex snickered with a cocky resolve, standing up himself and meeting the other man eye to eye.

“Loogs, do me, you’re the only one with the problem here, fugg nugged,” his lips pulled up to reveal a strikingly white pair of sharpened teeth that complemented the long fangs that always stuck out past his lips. “Wanna dance?” it actually felt relieving to take a stand at this point, giving him a bit of, slightly fresher air to escape the scent of the old man’s detergent that lingered on his clothing.

In that charged moment, the bar seemed to hold its breath, everyone's attention drawn to the brewing confrontation between Elex and the stranger. The man's eyes flashed with anger as he clenched his fists, ready to take things to the next level. However, just before anyone could throw a hit, the badger’s sinuses betrayed him into another set of expressive blows. “Ehh’tshhhhiew!!" h’USHh’iEW!” without time to cover himself, the badger openly, and almost proudly, sneezed a cloud of spittle and spray across the other man’s face.

“What the FUCK!?” the guy exclaimed with rage, getting ready to charge up his fist and bring it across the space to Elex’s jaw, but missed as the badger took a quick side step to avoid him. All the while blotting, and dabbing at his insanely runny nose that threatened to drip down his lips and chin. Elex chuckled, wiping his face clean with the last tissue in his package.

“Oh goody, my turn,” he smirked as he tossed the crumpled tissue aside and lunged forward with surprising agility, socking the man square in the nose a loud crack echoing the space between them all. The bar erupted into chaos as the two men grappled, fists flying and bodies colliding in a whirlwind of aggression. Sven watched in shock, torn between wanting to intervene and knowing that Elex needed to work through his frustrations on his own terms.

Amidst the chaos, a burly bouncer seemed to materialize, his massive form cutting through the crowd like a battleship in a stormy sea. With a swift motion, he hoisted both Elex and the stranger apart, their struggles becoming feeble against the bouncer's iron grip.

"Alright, that's enough out of both of you!" the bouncer boomed, his voice commanding attention from every corner of the bar. Elex panted, his chest heaving as he shot a defiant glare at the man who had provoked him.

Sven rushed forward, placing himself between Elex and the stranger. "Sven...get the fuck out of the way," the man growled, his voice thick with anger as he tried to maneuver around Sven to get to the bleeding patron. But the bouncer held him back with a firm grip, his massive arms like steel beams that refused to budge.

"Elex, enough!" Sven's voice was urgent, pleading as he turned to the badger. "Let's go. Now." having to be the only voice of reason to which the heated badger would obey. Sliding two twenties onto the bar before working to rush his heated lover out of the bar.

Elex stood there, breathing heavily as he eyed the stranger who was still struggling against the bouncer's hold. For a moment, it seemed like he was going to make another move, but then he relented with a frustrated huff.

"Fine," Elex finally replied, brushing past Sven and making his way towards the exit of the bar. Sven followed closely behind, shooting a quick apologetic glance at the stranger before hurrying after his boyfriend.

As they stepped out into the cool night air, Elex took a deep breath and leaned against the brick wall of the establishment, the icy night air hitting his weakened lungs he started to realize just how bad of shape he was in from the allergy attack, now that the adrenaline was wavering. He gasped as he worked to regulate himself.

Sven stood beside him, his gaze filled with concern as he watched Elex's labored breathing. Without a word, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small inhaler, offering it to the badger.

"Here, use this," Sven spoke softly, his voice laced with worry. Elex hesitated for a moment before taking the inhaler and pressing it to his lips, inhaling deeply as the soothing medication traveled through his lungs. The tightness in his chest began to ease, and he felt a wave of relief wash over him.

"Thanks," Elex murmured, handing the inhaler back to Sven. The cat nodded, tucking it back into his pocket before turning his attention back to the badger.

"Are you okay?" Sven asked, his eyes searching Elex's for any sign of distress. The green haired man gave him a small nod, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Yeah, I'm okay…feel actually a whole lot better now that I’m not suffocating under the scent of that guy’s clothes…snDfff…” he sniffled roughly, trying to break through the stuffed bridge of his nose. Despite the scuffle, the badger barely walked out with a scratch, but the same couldn’t be said for the other man.

“What am I going to do with you? Seriously, you’re lucky if he doesn’t charge you with assault! Dumbass!” scolding his boyfriend for the way he had unleashed his pent up rage upon the stranger.

“Hey, he swung first,” shrugging his shoulders before pulling a pack of cigarettes out from his pocket. Sven sighed in exasperation, watching as Elex flicked a cigarette out of the pack and lit it up with a practiced hand. He knew it was pointless to argue with the stubborn badger when he was in this mood, so he simply stood there in silence, the cool night air weaving around them like a comforting blanket.

As Elex took a drag from his cigarette, he exhaled a cloud of smoke that mingled with the night, disappearing into the darkness above. The tension that had gripped him earlier seemed to dissipate with each puff, the adrenaline from the fight slowly ebbing away.

After a moment of quiet contemplation, Sven finally spoke. "We should probably get out of here before the bouncer comes out and starts asking for names," he suggested, his voice calm but firm. Elex glanced over at him, taking in the concern etched on his features.

"Yeah, you're right," Elex replied, crushing the stub of his cigarette under his boot. With a final release of smoke from between his lips he lazily slung an arm around the cat’s waist. Unusual for the badger to display such affections, the cat narrowed his eyebrows and looked his lover up and down.

“You good?” The Cheshire asked cautiously, but leaning into the intimacy.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Elex responded with a soft smile, his usual tough exterior cracking to reveal a vulnerable side that only Sven seemed to elicit. The cat returned the smile, his worries easing as he felt the warmth of Elex’s touch against his side.

Together, they walked into the night, the street lamps casting a soft glow over their figures as they navigated the emptying streets. The events of the evening lingered in the air between them, but there was also an unspoken understanding that they would face whatever came their way together. Even if it meant being broke for a while to make sure Sven could set up his dream. Suddenly, those problems seemed less worrying after Elex was able to let off some steam.

As they turned a corner and disappeared into the shadows of the night, a sense of calm settled over them. In that moment, all that mattered was each other, their bond unbreakable in the face of any asshole that tried to ruin their good night. There was still time to turn things around.

And so, with the badger’s arm secured around his taller counterpart, Elex and Sven ventured into the unknown night, ready to face the rest of their evening in the comfort of their own home, albeit, with a quick stop at the liquor store for snacks and whiskey.

The End

Author’s Notes: I know I know, it’s short and sexless, but wasn’t that fun? 😍 I love angry Elex, being mean and beating people up while suffering from allergies. 🤧 I enjoyed it, I hope you did too!

[xcrownn]

I just feel like Trump is best suited to Donald exactly what he is doing now which is educate and help common Americans understand what is going on without being such an opinionated president... knowing what exactly the strategic objectives in the situation does not mean automatically that his way of dealing with the issue would automatically be the smartest or healthiest decision for the American people like he still is focused on sending our army out left and right like their lives are checkers. So I'd suspect we would be probably exploded after that covid international affair driving pandemic bubble burst near the end of the election.

I do feel democratic Americans were shocked by the immediate cessation of covid programs out of the blue unannounced on the entirety of America essentially and forced an end to the safety measures in place in order to pursue money only crippled the economy overnight as people decided to change their prices dramatically (as if supply hadn't increased, stock accumulated in many areas due to lowered activities while manufacturing of tech increased as well as intracontinental trade with our local services like Amazon taking off helping almost all industries at once meanwhile we had to be stocking up on oil and gasoline type resources due to the tremendous daily savings as Americans stayed inside right? We should have exited covid properly and experienced an even stronger dollar but now all the prices are exaggerated beyond explanation and I believe anger and confusion is what drove that.

The result was a parallel to what our military pull out looked like and resulted in, locally in terms of economic organization, overnight adjustments is a theme of this current incompetent cabinet...

Especially when you then add that slap in the face of all voters (betrayal that the supportive democrat themselves would perform such a nasty and forced overnight cold turkey push of Americans back into covid, removing funds the republicans themselves agreed necessary to an extent), and then raise minimum wage to 15$ overnight before the country even got a feel for working again... bam instant confusion, we have excess supply in many fields, life didn't change on the farm as if covid were some crop killer so no reason to suspect agriculture was struggling, etc....yet suddenly people started deciding they want a hefty return if money is funny, then everyone began copying to the point where prices don't make sense anymore, they were strict and tightly related to the recourse used to make them...now everyone is pursuing designer profit margins yet not even selling what they have

.. why because no one knew what to do with prices and decided to just keep copying everyone else's trend but the government itself should have regulated tightly this inflation situation and should have had the calculations on maximums and minimums ready to be rolled out to prevent chaos the same night it rolled out 15$ minimum wage to support the race to return to work in poisonous air...

Nevertheless I feel like Trump was born more for media in general than full blown politician like I really feel he would have been best suited as like a Joe Rogan popular opinion voice so that more Americans are aware of the strategies at play in the world (Trump with his business background is able to spot)... I feel like even if he did this people are still gonna come after him (like the democratic parties would still target and harass him if he hosted a million listener radio show daily) but serious he is best suited as a voice involved with news and showbiz rather than representing the attitude and temperment of our nation... as he is far more inclined to fight than like 95% of the soft Americans who actually live here and like safe lives... it's only like 5% of Americans who really truly want to go to war over any international fight whatsoever... and in my opinion that's not a good attitude for a president to have, you'll need 50% on that same energy unfortunately times are good and lives are not barbaric strategic battles anymore... like 95% of us perfectly fine focused only on internal affairs and improving lives here not sending off our advanced society members to possibly get blasted in the face by some 3rd world equibalent savage in the bushes...

Anyways I think we need a new president that's repblican but not farrrrr republican next to fix the country...by hopefully focusing on sorting out this internal inflation related chaos as goal #1... and letting more nations know that they just gonna have to handle things theirselves, rather than trying to force us to suddenly move crazy whenever another country decides they want to move crazy. We can't have Russia types pushing us around into such madness like right now we are giving out all kinds of money's to a place 99% of us have not stepped foot to literally burn the money, despite the situation here... so they really just took the money that they withheld from us and forced us to go generate in the face of covid, and burned it in Ukraine ugh at this point stop this madness pleases...just send us a level headed mild tempered business oriented GROWER whom is looking inside for answers rather than outside. I feel like we should be growing right now into a more advanced society than China and Singapore type cities that triple in development of infrastructure and technology overnight... that's what we should be focused on, continue to be a leading place to live and a showcase of advanced civilization... we're falling behind these Asian countries and starting to look outdated.

Other countries laughing at our country as far as how we have fallen behind them as places to live, like South Korea people are raising their noses at American cities offerings, countries that literally just recently stopped being 3rd world countries have developed superior cities and infrastructure than we have in only 30 years of legitimate establishment. We don't have no new large advancements here, not even a signle bullet train let alone any innovations... everyone stole our Intel and built superior places to live, and Americans are envious and jealous of literally every other first world countries living conditions theses days... everyone wants to leave.

We have all the best people but we don't have anything nice or thoughtful besides our libraries/schools, FDA, basic parks, roads and highways... thats essentially the extent of our infrastructure, then combine that with cops & robbers being played 24/7 in the background and we really have nothing here to be proud of as far as modern luxuries. Even the cost of living is nothing to be proud of.

Bottom line is we aren't getting back enough from our own selves... the only international drama I'd think we should pursue is our copyrights and patents, not being paid royalties on anything.. yupp I'd be like Taiwan yall could not be more on yall own because they're a perfect example of stealing from us and using all our techniques and inventions to prosper themselves without paying us for the foundations they build their cities on... yeah I'd say we pretty much own the ground they build on because of how much pilfering from America goes on so others can sit back and snivel at our society... meanwhile they chase American power levels locally having fully developed everything just like we do, yet may do so wreckelessly and overnight and cause drama with other nations in their pursuit to be economic powers... sooo... why should we EVER align with them? Again referring tonm my belief that we should never be EXPECTED to move irrationally any time another nation triggers something.

Nations can litterally type in cheat codes to control America, and animate us like a puppet...that's just how idiocric and slow our country is beginning to look. *"Hey wanna make America throw away money and blow their post covid lead, sure how much of their supplies should we convince them to send us, all free just make them think they'll be considered gulli..err... heros"*

There are wayyyy too many quickly rising, high population countries around the world... advancing rapidly off our blueprints... if we fall behind in infrastructure, and those nations are able to mass produce much faster with faster transportation systems and what not, well suddenly small islands once again are super threats. People forget America is not the most populous country in the world , so yes countries like Japan with almost our size but complete unison and can quickly perform as if unlimited conveyor belts just with one block of citizens making ammo... man that's a major threat to America whom would have a tough task finding just 10 people in a whole county who are ready to link together and make supplies for our army or anything for freee.. so I'm saying they can assemble much faster so we need better tech and infrastructure because we are too small and still have a ton of American territory to grow, people should be desiring most to be moving into not out American cities.

If people keep moving here, well there is no problem... an attack on us is an attack on people from many countries, so that's just suicidal in terms of world affairs so we naturally have additional protections, but we don't need to be involved in fueling any other nation for free EXCEPT our nation... and we should be collecting debts and using it to truly invest in our infrastructure and funding the American laborers whom will perform the tasks quickly and move on to te next project.

[ohtobeleah]

I’d love to see if you could do something angsty with Bucky and a stark!reader?

When Sam got the location of some Stark tech that had been distributed via Pepper Pots and Happy Hogan, he was sure that during transit some of it had landed in the wrong hands. Chatter had been getting louder about this particular auto-shop that had some fancy new tech. Customers raved, the star ratings on the net were astronomical. Sam called bullshit on a coverup. Something didn’t seem right. Not to him at least. Bucky thought otherwise—trying his best to get Sam to drop it. But when Sam got the call late one night about how someone had broken into the raft and managed to escape into the night seemingly undetected with one of the worlds most dangerous men—Zemo, Sam couldn’t help himself from paying a visit to the local chop shop. Needing to make sure for himself the two didn’t coincide. 

“Who the fuck are you super to be?” You asked Sam as he stood strong and broad. The new Captain America—you never did buy into the Stars and Stripes bullshit. You knew who he was, you also knew the bionic staring machine who stood watch near the door. Arms crossed as he watched you intensely. In all honesty you just wanted to him to say it.

“I’m Sam, that’s Bucky over there, my question to you is why is a seemingly average mechanic and her bustling business using Stark tech to fix and flip busted cars for profit?” You snickered in response.

“What? Would you rather me be a terrorist?” Your cut through glass look shook Sam a little—it wasn’t the answer he was looking for. The tech you’d been using had been making some noise, noise Sam thought was worth while checking out. Bucky not so much. “Hey cyborg! You gonna say hello or are you gonna try kill me again?” You yelled, hands coming down to slam on your desk. “Fucking avengers.” You hissed as you sat, running your hands through your hair. Pouring yourself a drink. The engraving on the cup catching Sams eye. *Stark* 

Sam looked back towards Bucky, he’d tried to warm him prior—but Sam didn’t listen. He also never did said why he wanted him to drop it.

“You look hella confused—“ you snarked are Sam.

“I am—“

You looked over at Bucky, remembering what is was like to run for your life and not exactly know why. To feel your entire life ripped from you in one split second.

“Please—you begged, a hand around your throat as glass shards littered your body without any real pathway. “I don’t know what you want from me!!” You cried. The man with the metal arm just threw you to the ground, landing with a thud you gasped for air. “Please don’t kill me—I’ve barely li-lived.” He just stared at you—screaming on the inside because he couldn’t control his actions, his own hands. Picking you up just to punch you square in the jaw. Watching as you chocked on your own blood.

“Send Tony Stark our regards—“ his mumbled in your ear, words that you played in your mind. Confined to a hospital bed for months—the mystery man who’d paid all your medical experiences finally working up the guts to visit you, speak to you. Explain why.

“I didn’t even know you existed until someone from Columbia contacted me wondering why one of his patients shared my DNA.”

“Tony Stark, before his good old Iron-man escapades, had a daughter he didn’t know about—could’ve stayed that way too if it wasn’t for the Winter Soldier and his damn Hydra henchmen looking for anything, everything or anyone to get under the hero’s skin.” You held your glass up to Bucky as he walked over “kinda wish you’d finished your mission champ.” You hissed, downing the rest of the bourbon.

“That doesn’t explain the tech—“ Sam questioned.

“When Tony found out, when I found out who I was—god I cried for days, could you imagine being the daughter Tony Stark never wanted. But when Tony found out—he changed his will, then he changed it again when Morgan came along, 50/50 I guess—now I get all these cool toys to help me along I guess. Even if he never did anything else, no calls or let’s actually connect.”

“I told you, it’s a waste of time Sam.” Bucky placed his arm on Sams shoulder “Just a drunk who doesn’t know how lucky she’s got it.” You stood, anger filled every inch of you as you stalked forward.

“What did you just fucking say to me?” You hissed in front of Bucky. He was trying to get a rise out of you. He felt bad for what he did to you—he lived with it every damn day. But you also hadn’t put the work in, Bucky knew that. You were surrounded in pain and agony and you did nothing to climb your way out.

“You heard me, like father like daughter am I right? Took Stark years to finally get his shit together—how longs it gonna take you? How long are you gonna sit and grovel over the things you can’t change before you get off your ass and live your damn life.” You went to throw a punch—Bucky stopped you, with your other hand you grabbed a spammer from your desk, he managed to dodge that blow too—pinning you back against the wall.

“Bucky—“ Sam called.

“May as well, go on Buck—finish the job? Add me to the list of Starks you’ve murdered.”

“I don’t do that anymore, I’m not a killer—“ Bucky’s voice was a low grumble. Dark and deep.

“Really? Because the look in your eye right now says otherwise.” You croaked.

“Do you know how many interested parties I’ve kept off your back all these years? How many times I’ve tried to make amends for ever causing you pain?” Bucky let you go as you lunged at him. Bringing you into a chokehold as Sam watched on. “Lydia Van-Jensen or would you prefer Stark?”

“Get off of me!” You hissed. Bucky let you go with a huff. You rubbed your neck as you looked at Sam. “You ever step foot on my property again I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you both and that’s a promise.” You spat with hatred.

“Trust me, we won’t.” Bucky hissed, shaking his head at Sam. Hating the fact he’d dragged him along. Storming out as he stared at Sam. Still shocked as he caught up to Bucky.

“What the hell was that all about—“

“I told you it wasn’t worth the worry Sam, you didn’t listen, now I’ve gotta deal with that on my Conscience.” Bucky hissed, spitting venom Sams way as he stormed down the pavement.

“Tony had a daughter before Morgan and never thought to tell a single soul!?”

“I knew—he knew I knew, he knew I knew because I told him I knew, I almost killed her—I left her for dead in the street Sam, that’s something I live with every damn day and she’s the way she is today because I introduced her to a world that didn’t want her.” Sam just listened as Bucky spoke. His words harsh. “She’s a non-threat, so just let her have her toys and run her business.”

You didn’t make a move until you knew Sam and Bucky were gone, caught off guard by there uninvited visit. You hadn’t even done as much a lifted a finger to catch their attention. Either way, the show much go on. Your eyes glowed an amber red as you opened the door to the basement. You could hear the muffled screams as you walked closer. Chuckling to yourself when you saw the man who once stood tall with nothing but the world at his mercy. Beaten and bloodied. Gaged and tied.

Picking up a hammer you asked politely as you removed the gag. Smiling as your fingernail traced his blooded and dirt covered cheekbone.

“Now tell me, Zemo—“ Your eyes turned a new shade of red Zemo had never seen. So maleficent. “I know you know exactly how to reactive the Winter Soldier, so tell me, before I decide you aren’t worth my fucking time.”

[choicesenthusiast]

Representation at Pixelberry: The Follow-Up

One year ago, on June 15, 2020, Pixelberry released a statement regarding representation at the company. Here is the LINK to the original blog post, and here was MY RESPONSE. Oh, how naïve and optimistic I was. It contained a list of goals and promises they hoped to accomplish within a year. Well, a year has passed, and here is my attempt to hold PB accountable. I'll be going over the five main points of their representation plan and if they achieved what they promised. All criticisms are about content released after June 15th. Long post beware, but I'm not putting it under a read more because I feel like it's important for all to see.

1. Commitment to diversity of Love Interests - FAIL

We’ve already been moving towards having Love Interests have customizable skin tones. We will continue to do this with some stories, while also having some characters with clear ethnic identities. At the same time when we have multiple love interests of different ethnicities, we are aiming for those Love Interests to have equal game time.

"LIs with customizable skin tones" mean they come in three flavours: white, black, and ambiguously Asian/Latinx interchangeably. So far I have rarely seen an LI as connected to their culture/ethnicity as Rafael Aveiro, and he just talked about his Vovo's food if he ever were on screen. They had many chances with the other OH LIs as well. Even Ayna Seth and Tatum Mendoza were confirmed to be Indian and Filipino, respectively, though FA gets a little leeway, as it was set in a fictional west-European continent.

As for equal game time? I'm sure the biggest example we can all think of was the mess that was Open Heart 3, which was written during the hiatus (which only existed because they were going to straight up kill Rafael in Book 2). Game time was not equal among LIs, and the white male LI was heavily favoured. PB also continues to pay female LIs dirt by giving them no screen time. In addition to that, LGBT+ players, who are consistently underrepresented, receive one (1) unprepared pride month survey, prpbably only because someone asked them about it on Twitter.

This is the meat and potatoes of everything because it's what they're outputting to their audience. It's what the people see. Given that things haven't been going so well lately in this department, consider this promise a big fat fail.

2. More authentic and diverse hairstyles for people of color - QUESTIONABLE

Our team will focus on providing more authentic and representative hairstyles. We are prioritizing these hairstyles outside of our normal book processes and will introduce them in new books as they are ready.

While, yes, they have added two new hairstyles in WEH, they also just took Jade Bonet's hair and recycled it for LoA F!MC. PB recycles all their hair more often than not.

3. More diverse book covers - QUESTIONABLE

This is an initiative we started in January of this year. As a result the number of Black, Latinx, Asian, Native American, Pacific Islander, mixed, and other characters on new book covers increased from 35% of characters in 2019 to 60% characters in the first half of 2020. However, the number of black characters is still not high enough this year. More are already scheduled for books later this year. We will make sure that Black characters are well represented on our covers in the future.

"Diverse" does not just mean by race, but also gender, sexual orientation, etc. FA has the only recent MLM cover. And don't tell me that the FA and LoA covers are any different from each other. The only black characters on covers are Zoey Wade (QB), and Black!Gabe Ricci (LoA) and Bastien (WB), which aren't even their canon races unless you choose them to be. This is the case for many single-LI books, such as Cassian Keane (W:ABR, which technically premiered on Mar. 16, but the sentiment is the same), Sam Dalton (TNA), and Dakota Winchester (WEH). Not to mention the customizable/multi LI books like DS, RT, BaBu2, MTFL, etc. Majority of these covers are just cishet couples delicately cradling each other's bodies or whatever. And we're not even gonna get into how PB literally put the Open Heart LIs in order of their favouritism on Book 3's cover.

4. Writers/Staff - QUESTIONABLE

We will be engaging in professional training on historical and current racism for our writers to ensure more of them have a better understanding and more context for views of diverse characters in Choices. We will also create a program that gives more authority to people of color in the studio to advise writers and artists on more authentic portrayals in both writing and art of black, brown, and minority characters.

A story with a Black-led cast is something I have asked for in the past, but failed to follow-up on. We will very likely start this with a Black-led cast story led by Chelsa, one of Pixelberry's Black writers.

We will increase the number of diverse writers we source for new stories, starting with hiring more Black and Latinx writers to lead the charge.

For all teams at Pixelberry we will actively work to bring in more Black and Latinx candidates with the goal to increase the number of Black and Latinx employees at Pixelberry. Although Pixelberry is over 50% female, on teams where females are not at 50% we will actively work to source more female candidates.

This promise seemed like a copout from the start because we have no way of knowing who works on what at PB unless we very meticulously stalk their LinkedIn or Twitter or whatever. We have no solid statistics except for what they feed us. I do know, however, that they recently let the Ms. Match writers go and were hiring for external writers, but there really is no way of knowing what's going on behind-the-scenes with their 112+ employees, and of course there would be NDAs involved. We are yet to see a book with an all-Black cast, and receive rare development updates with new books. Actually, I think a really good way to promote diversity is to do staff showcases on their social media. Just a way to show the public who's responsible for what. Writers, game devs, the art team, etc. Don't think it'll happen, but it's always a good idea.

5. Donations - QUESTIONABLE

Pixelberry will also be making $100,000 in donations to Black Girls Code, the Black Writers Collective, and the Latinx Writers Collective at Techqueria. Rather than as a lump sum, we will be making these donations over the course of a year to remind us that we are not making short term changes, but are committed to long term sustainable actions. We’ll also be donating up to an additional $100k from profits for this week, 6/15-6/21.

There has been no proof, no receipts, no evidence from PB that they have donated anything to anyone, and as far as we're concerned, their word doesn't mean anything. No news or updates news about it. I would love to believe that they did something, but as you can see, I've become quite the pessimist. BWC still uses PB's old logo (like, pre-Choices) on their sponsors page, and the last interaction they've had with BGC was in 2013. They don't even follow each other on Instagram. In fact, BGC received a huge donation from MacKenzie Scott, formerly Bezos last July. Yes, that billionaire Bezos, and that got coverage from them. Obviously donations don't need to be for publicity, but in this case I think it's important there should be proof. Again, it's really hard to tell with these behind-the-scenes things, but given how PB loves to gloat and hates to keep promises, we can assume that none of this happened.

~~~

So, what's the takeaway? That PB's fallen down the drainhole of shitty content and empty promises and has no intention of climbing out as long as they still make that bank? Seems counterproductive, because good representation gets good feedback and income. They pump out bad books with barebones "representation" if you can call it that, then drop their precious merch and pretend all is fine and dandy. But just as I suspected one year ago, none of this matters, because people forget things, and people move on, and shit gets swept under rugs. Yet, here I am, yelling at a company in a post I for sure doubt they'll see. Because if not me, then who?

@playchoices Your move. It's been your move for a year now. When will you actually make it?

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Pairings: None

Word Count: 1,958 Words

Summary: Midoriya’s store run, Todoroki kills everyone with laughter, and girl day has been moved to Bakugou’s room, and Shigaraki and Dabi have a talk.

Warnings: Food Mention, Death Mention, Caps, Child Abuse Mention, Cursing, Period Mention, Menstruation Mention, Murder Mention, Grooming Mention, Burn Mention, let me know if I should tag anything else.

Notes: Shigaraki's alias in the group chat is Ren, Dabi's alias is Haruhi, and Hime is Toga's alias.

Usernames: Area 51   Aoyama: bonjour je suis Dora, Ashido: aggressive chicken dance, Asui: wut, Iida: Human Porche, Uraraka: Fuck Gravity, Ojiro: ceouolo, Kaminari: pikachoo, Kirishima: ordained, Koda: the muffin man?, Sato: dammit kevin, Shoji: pIaNoMaN, Jirou: neko neko kneecaps, Sero: wine and cheerios, Tokoyami: brb drowning, Todoroki: daddy issues, Hagakure: oreosandpussy, Bakugo: mother i crave violence, Midoriya: mistakes were made Mineta: Mineta, Shinsou: its a mental breakdown, Yaoyorozu: single braincell

Usernames: Emo Sanctuary  Jirou: tell tale heart, Tokoyami: eldritch peep, Todoroki: i love you 3000, Bakugou: knife tag, Midoriya: bitchasaurus, Shinsou: unhappy meal, Kuroiro: meth and deadamine, Shigaraki: depresso extra shot, Dabi: *sad kazoo*

Into The Group Chat We Go: Chapter 2

10:00 AM

Area 51

Midoriya: I'm heading to the store and then to my apartment for the weekend, so if anyone needs anything while I'm out, tell me now.

mother i crave violence: Pickled daikon, seaweed chips, pea sprouts, spinach, enoki, and sausages.

Midoriya: Ew.

Midoriya: Fine.

mother i crave violence: Breathe one word of what you know and you're dead meat, Deku.

Midoriya: Not very nice to say to someone buying you food, now, is it?

mother i crave violence: Sorry, Deku.

Midoriya: Now send me the whole list. I know you don't buy six things and call it a day.

mother i crave violence: Also chapaghetti, eggs, and probably tofu.

mother i crave violence: And coffee pudding.

Midoriya: And?

mother i crave violence: Aloe yoghurt and ham.

Midoriya: Got it.

mother i crave violence: I hate you.

Midoriya: Yeah, yeah. I'll say hi to Hotaru and Hikaru for you on my way home.

Hagakure: Who's that?

Midoriya: NOTHING.

Midoriya has deleted one message

Midoriya: See? nothing.

Hagakure: Suspicious.

mother i crave violence: I'm not even going to deal with this. I'm too busy crying.

Midoriya: Overdramatic much?

mother i crave violence: I'm not, I'm dying. I deserve to cry if I'm dying.

Midoriya: Drama queen.

mother i crave violence: Stop arguing, I'm hungry.

Midoriya: Fine, fine.

Iida: What are you two on about now?

Midoriya: Kacchan needs some groceries that I offered to grab for him on my way out.

Todoroki: I'll go with you. I have to grab a few things for my dinner. I'll bring everything back to the dorms so you can head straight home.

Midoriya: Cool. @its a mental breakdown, do you need anything? I know you said something about needing to grab groceries to other day. I won't have you surviving off rice.

its a mental breakdown: My guy, it's 10:10 in the morning. Why are you waking me up so early on the weekend?

Midoriya: Groceries. Fork over the list, my guy.

its a mental breakdown: grocery.link

Midoriya: Looks good. Anyone else need food?

aggressive chicken dance: I forgot to pick up rice yesterday. I can't make my green curry without rice.

its a mental breakdown: I have a big container of rice you can steal from, Mina. Remember, the rice container that's as tall as a toddler?

aggressive chicken dance: Hells yeah. I'll hit you up at like 6pm. Raincheck on the rice, Midoriya.

Midoriya: 👍

Hagakure: Why do you have so much rice, Shinsou?

its a mental breakdown: it used to be the only thing I was allowed to eat at the orphanage because they could get a 4 pound bag and feed me for two weeks. I got used to eating rice a lot and I usually will just add things to rice.

Hagakure: Shinsou, that's like half a cup of rice a day.

its a mental breakdown: I never said they fed me correctly. thus why I had a job to make money for extra food. the nuns hated that, though, so I had to hide it or make it at a friend's house. thanks for those days, Bakugo.

mother i crave violence: No problem, Toshi.

10:25 PM

Area 51

Uraraka: We're missing shit.

Uraraka has changed their name to Fuck Gravity

Fuck Gravity has changed Asui to wut

Fuck Gravity has changed Iida to Human Porche

Fuck Gravity has changed Midoriya to mistakes were made

Fuck Gravity has changed Todoroki to daddy issues

Fuck Gravity has changed Aoyama to bonjour je suis Dora

Fuck Gravity: Much better.

Tokoyami: DADDY ISSUES OH MY GOD

daddy issues: I wasn't aware we were having a therapy session. I can talk about my daddy issues if you want.

Tokoyami: No, Shoto.

daddy issues: I mean, it's not a secret that I have daddy issues. Just look at him. Of course I have issues, he made me.

Hagakure: Hold on, I'm wheezing.

daddy issues: Like I do when I look at his face knowing there's a possibility of me growing into its image.

daddy issues: No wonder Touya was constantly depressed to look so similar to him. I'd be depressed too.

Ojiro: Send help, I can't breathe.

daddy issues: It's no wonder Natsuo is so proud to look like our mother but as a guy. And Fuyumi is basically mom's twin but with a different quirk and some red in her hair.

daddy issues: Lucky motherfuckers.

bonjour je suis Dora: Mon dieu, Shoto, stop, everyone's dying.

daddy issues: ...

Fuck Gravity: Don't!

daddy issues: Like I wish my father would.

daddy issues has set "that's a lot of damage" audio to play

Fuck Gravity: Shoto, please, we're suffering.

daddy issues: Okay, okay. I'll stop tormenting you all like I wish I could my father.

aggressive chicken dance: Savage.

11:00 AM

Area 51

daddy issues: I'm coming home with the groceries. I put our stuff in separate bags. Shinsou, you'll have to come to 1-A dorms because I don't know where your room is.

mother i crave violence: just give mine to Toshi for now. I can't move yet.

Hagakure: Alright, I've been wondering why it is you said you were crying for like an hour now. Why are you crying, Bakugou?

mother i crave violence: I'm having my period. It's bad, I can't move.

Hagakure: I have midol!

aggressive chicken dance: time to spoil Baku.

wut: I'll bring heating pads.

Fuck Gravity: I'll grab his food. Do you want any of it made before I go up?

mother i crave violence: I was just gonna destroy the chips, coffee pudding, and yoghurt.

Fuck Gravity: I'm making you eat. It'll be good for you.

daddy issues: I bought a bunch of extra ready made bentos because they were on sale for you girls' Girl Day. Take him two or three up and make sure he eats.

Yaoyorozu: We're moving Girl Day to Bakugou's room, if that's alright with everyone.

mother i crave violence: Why do I feel appreciated? Make it stop.

Yaoyorozu: Because we appreciate you, Bakugou.

mother i crave violence: I don't like this.

Yaoyorozu: So you don't want us in your room?

mother i crave violence: I guess it's fine.

Hagakure: Alright, Girl Day in Bakugou's room!

neko neko kneecaps: Alright, Todoroki, bring the stuff up to Baku's room.

daddy issues: I know, I'm on the way. I was waiting for Hitoshi.

its a mental breakdown: thank you, Sho.

daddy issues: You'll have to show me to your dorm one of these days.

its a mental breakdown: oh. it's floor five room four on the boys side in the 1-C dorms.

daddy issues: You say this like I won't now make a bridge to walk from my room to yours.

its a mental breakdown: I know this and I love you.

daddy issues: Good, someone has to.

its a mental breakdown: No airing therapy sessions in the group chat, Sho.

daddy issues: Damn.

daddy issues: Anyway. I'm thinking of playing musical rooms with Aizawa and freezing the empty girls rooms on floor two. Any oppositions?

Tokoyami: My only opposition is not today. I'm working on a time sensitive commission and I don't want to see a month of work go down the drain if the ice creeps over.

daddy issues: Tokoyami, the real MVP, running his business as a profit hobby so UA can't stop him.

Fuck Gravity: What a king.

Tokoyami: Thank you both.

Tokoyami: I'm going back to Hime's fourth dress.

Tokoyami is now offline

Hagakure: Alright.

Hagakure has changed their name to oreosandpussy

oreosandpussy has changed Ojiro's name to ceouolo

oreosandpussy has changed Koda's name to the muffin man?

oreosandpussy has changed Shoji's name to pIaNoMaN

oreosandpussy has changed Tokoyami's name to brb drowning

oreosandpussy has changed Yaoyorozu's name to single braincell

ceouolo: I'm not shocked, just disappointed.

oreosandpussy: That's normal, Mashi.

1:45 PM

Emos Sanctuary

depresso extra shot: Has anyone heard from Haruhi? I haven't been able to find him for like a solid five days and he last messaged someone in here from what I can tell.

*sad kazoo* is now online

*sad kazoo*: Sorry, man, I've been doing some shit for a few days so I can find a way to adopt Toshi.

depresso extra shot: Nobody's heard from you for days!

*sad kazoo*: Well, yeah, I mean, I bought a house, I'm working, I got stuff to do.

depresso extra shot: How the fuck?

*sad kazoo*: I had Hime help me.

1:50 PM

private chat with depresso extra shot and *sad kazoo*

depresso extra shot: How the fuck did Himiko help you?

*sad kazoo*: Himiko hooked me up with one of her friends who can change appearances. The girl made me look how I would if the accident never happened.

depresso extra shot: So you're never coming back to the League.

*sad kazoo*: No. I'm not, I can't. I have a son, man. I need to be there for him.

depresso extra shot: I'll still be your friend, right?

*sad kazoo*: Of course. And you can always have Himi's friend make you look different too. You can get away from this life too, Tomura.

depresso extra shot: I can't just disappear, Dabi.

*sad kazoo*: Why not? I've already found a way to disappear without questions. I could take you into it.

depresso extra shot: Tell me why I should? I have All For One's legacy to uphold!

*sad kazoo*: Who are you even carrying his legacy anyway? Because he saved you? You don't have to risk your life for his legacy because he saved you once. Following his legacy will kill you. I should know, I was held to a legacy too and look where it got me. I'm a murderer, a wanted criminal. This path isn't one you'll survive. He groomed a child and forced his own destiny onto you.

depresso extra shot: I'll think about it.

*sad kazoo*: You could really be Izuku's brother then.

depresso extra shot: You say that like I don't have a quirk that would kill this family like I did my last one. How am I supposed to explain to Izuku that I killed our father? My mother and sister?

*sad kazoo*: Himiko knows someone who can change your quirk. I was going to see him right before I stage my disappearing act. He was going to make my fire red again and give me some ice control so I won't turn into a burnt chicken nugget again.

depresso extra shot: So he could make my quirk something else?

*sad kazoo*: He can make your quirk into whatever you want.

depresso extra shot: I've always wanted to have a healing quirk like my sister did.

*sad kazoo*: And he can do that.

depresso extra shot: I think I'd like that.

*sad kazoo*: So you wanna make the League a family instead? We can all move into my house. We can be normal. We can have lives.

depresso extra shot: I could probably talk everyone into it.

*sad kazoo* So it's a plan then.

depresso extra shot: We'd have to tell the others.

*sad kazoo*: Himi's already onboard. So are Magne and Twice. I haven't raised the question to Compress or Spinner yet.

depresso extra shot: So we just need to talk to Atsuhiro and Iguchi.

*sad kazoo*: Yeah.

depresso extra shot: Iguchi is a lost cause. He's a devout Stain follower. He won't ever agree to it. Compress we might be able to convince. He's said how his great-grandfather is a famous criminal. He might have it though his thick skull that he needs to bring honor to his family name by reforming the hero society.

*sad kazoo*: So we've decided to kill off the League.

depresso extra shot: For our second chance at life.

Taglist: @lgbtforeverything @rin-tanaka @everythingisstardust @paint-in-flames @hakodas-tits

[manggaetteokkie]

Why 2HA adaptation might not be as bad as we think...

Okay so BL novel “The Husky and His White Cat Shizun” (chinese title: “二哈和他的白猫师尊”) aka 2HA is getting a live adaption which will be called “Immortality” (“皓衣行”). I know that usually, fans of original works are less than excited about this kinds of news and with good reasons. The issue is that those who buy the IP rights to a novel simply see its popularity and think that they can profit off of it without actually trying to understand the reason behind its popularity. Too often, BL fans see themselves forced to endure any of the following: 1) sex change of one of the male leads, 2) creation of a random female love interest, 3) turning a happy end into a bad end, 4) adding a bunch of scenes unrelated to our main pair that ends up dragging the series, 5) turning romance into brotherly affection... the list goes on and on. Sometimes, companies think that as long as they film any two guys together and sell a bit of physical touching here and there, fans will jump on it like rabid dogs which... is kinda stupid because, y’know, we have eyes (and standards) too.

So obviously, with the unprecedented popularity that came with the release of The Untamed, even more producers are starting to see the potential of danmei (BL) novels and with it came an onslaught of IP rights being bought and adapted. The list is pretty extensive, with some big names that I’m sure anyone who’s even slightly in the Chinese BL novel community has heard of before. Of course, included in that list, with the casting for the leads done and filming underway, is 2HA.

Quick overview of the story for those of you that don’t know: the story is set in the POV of the “gong” (top), a character named Mo Ran (also known as Mo Weiyu) who is the disciple of Chu Wanning, the “shou” (bottom) of our story. In his original life, Mo Ran had become the Emperor of the cultivation world through slaughter and tyranny, with the only one ever coming close to stopping him being his shizun, Chu Wanning, who eventually lost his life trying to stop him. After achieving the top by committing pretty much all crimes and sins known to men, weary and tired, Mo Ran decides to take his own life and ends it all. Unexpectedly, instead of dying and going to Hell, he transmigrated to the first year he became a disciple. As a thirty-something man in the body of a teen, he decides to do things right this time around and save the one he couldn’t save the first time around. As he goes through life a second time, truth after truths reveal themselves, with the biggest surprise being that the Shizun he hated so much in his previous life, and who Mo Ran thought hated/scorned him, actually turned out to be protecting him the entire time. 

Mo Ran, in his past life, was powerful, cruel, merciless and arrogant. There was nothing he could not obtain and he knew it. He was cynical, had a very jaded view of the world and was kind of unstable (lots of mood swings and temper tantrums). After his rebirth, he still maintained some of the arrogance and cynicism, but is more mischievous, confident and cheeky. He is very much like a husky, looks kind of scary and big, but can be extremely loyal to the ones he recognizes and can be a bit dumb sometimes. Chu Wanning on the other hand, is an unflappable person with a frost-like exterior, but a heart of gold. Basically, he cares a lot but it’s easier for him to look like he doesn’t than to voice his feelings. He gets embarrassed easily and covers his embarrassment using anger. He is extremely strong, likes peace and quiet, and always abides by the rules. 

Their relationship is kind of complicated. Initially, Mo Ran was in love with a fellow disciple called Shi Mei (despite the word meaning junior female disciple in Chinese, it’s actually the name of a male character). In the original timeline, Shi Mei died and that was the start of Mo Ran’s decline. After his rebirth, Mo Ran decides that he will do everything in his power to prevent Shi Mei from dying again. Don’t be mistaken though, Shi Mei is NOT the male lead. You’ll see as you read more that despite being in love with Shi Mei, Mo Ran is pretty obsessed with Chu Wanning because their relationship was kind of... complicated in the original timeline.

This is pretty much the premise for the story, but do be warned that it goes much deeper and darker than what you might expect (it’s rated R-18 for a reason). So why exactly am I writing all of this? To put it simply, I just kind of want to hype up the series and its adaptation a little, or at least, pique enough interest to give the live action adaptation a chance. Not gonna lie, when I heard 2HA was getting adapted, I was pretty skeptical because how. Mo Ran and Chu Wanning had a pretty physical relationship in the pre-rebirth timeline and that’s partially where the obsession that Mo Ran feels towards Chu Wanning stems from. There’s just basically a lot of unresolved sexual tension between them throughout the novel that I simply couldn’t see getting adapted. However, after thinking about it and reevaluating things from a low-expectations-standpoint, I think it might actually be possible to film something close enough to the original work. Here are some of the factors that influenced my opinion:

First, the series is set to air for 50 episodes (just like The Untamed). Why is the number of episodes important? Because it will determine how closely the adaptation will follow the original story and how much random stuff they can fit into it. Let’s take a step back and evaluate: 2HA’s novel has 311 chapters + extras while MDZS has 113 + extras. Obviously, people might have an issue with the number of episodes (”How are you going to air the same amount of episodes for a series that’s thrice as long??”) but I think it’s a good amount. Why? Because it pretty much guarantees a solid pacing that’ll keep the story moving forward without stagnating. I don’t think there is too much to worry in terms of too much source material being cut because quite a few chapters are R-18/romantic lining scenes that would not have gotten adapted anyways. Once those get deleted, I think 50 episodes is an acceptable amount.

Second, the entire production seems to be solid. The rights were actually bought by Tencent who, if you forgot, was also responsible for The Untamed. With prior success, I believe that they now have a pretty solid idea of how things should be run. Also, the CGI and world-design team is the same one as for Ashes of Love, which has me pretty stoked because while CG in chinese dramas has always been a hit or miss, Ashes of Love is definitely amongst some of the best I’ve seen (see below for examples). (P.S. there are also rumours that Lin Hai, the one responsible for The Untamed’s OST, might be working on 2HA but this is mere speculation at this point.) Overall, 2HA is looking to be like the most high-profile and expensive BL adaption yet.

Third and finally, the casting.

Holy.

Okay.

This is what has me the most hyped. 

Let’s start with Shi Mei, who will be portrayed by actress Chen Yao (or Sebrina Chen).

I know I’ve said that despite the name, Shi Mei is a male. As it turns out, likely for censorship reasons, “Immortality” could not escape from the clutches of the dreaded sex change so they went ahead and turned him into a girl. While not ideal, in my opinion, it actually works out pretty nicely here. In this case, it means that Mo Ran is in love with a female character which would further draw censorship’s attention away from the fact that Mo Ran really has a thing for his beautiful shizun. While it would have been perfect if everything could go according to source material, the fact that it’s Shi Mei that went through a sex change actually works pretty favourably in the grand scheme of things. Not to mention the actress set to play Shi Mei has some good experience acting similar roles so overall, I say that I trust her.

Next, we have Chu Wanning who will be played by Luo Yunxi (or Leo Luo).

For this character, I have no worries whatsoever. If you’re unfamiliar with this actor, I highly recommend you give Ashes of Love a try. He played the 2nd lead and ugh. He’s so good at playing beautiful and elegant characters that are forced to undergo a ton of suffering and pain. Luo Yunxi used to be a professional ballet dancer so he moves with grace and his fight scenes are amazing to watch. Also, he has great control over his facial expressions. He’s able to act out characters that suffer a lot without making them seem weak or powerless. Even the way he cries can be considered both beautiful and heartbreaking.

Finally, we have Mo Ran who will be portrayed by Chen Feiyu (or Arthur Chen).

Mo Ran is an extremely complex character. From pre-rebirth’s insanity and arrogance, to post-rebirth’s hope and reservation, to post-revelation’s love and devotion, the actor’s going to have a lot on his plate. Originally, when I first googled him, I thought that while he’d manage to pull off post-rebirth teen!Mo Ran fairly well given how clean and refreshing his face looks, he’d have a harder time pulling off pre-rebirth’s arrogance, craziness and general “hardness”. However, after seeing some costume designs and makeup edits, I think that the boy might just pull it off. Also, while the actor is nowhere near as solid as Luo Yunxi is, it seems that he’s willing to put in extra time and effort (as seen by his Weibo post about how he’d been studying the source material) to make up for it. I think that with enough dedication, he might just be able to pull it off.

(Psssst! By the way, keeping this strictly between you and me, another reason why I’m such a fan of this pair is because of the height difference. I mean just look at this?? Their height difference is pretty much bang on with the novel height difference after Mo Ran grew past Chu Wanning’s height. Not to mention, don’t tell me you see this and don’t automatically picture a the big dorky puppy following his reserved and cool master around?)

So yeah, all of this just to say that it might be okay to kind of have some expectations for 2HA. I really want to keep my own expectations down as low as possible given the amount of times we’ve been burned but I want to remain hopeful that, with the success of The Untamed, it can pave the way for better and more faithful danmei adaptations, with 2HA being one of them.

[fablesrose]

Tell Me a Story 3

Summary: It’s go time

Word count: 2,188

Pairing: cop?!Dean x mafia!reader

Square filled: Crack

Warnings: shooting

Masterlist ~ Bingo Masterlist

A/n: For @girl-next-door-writes​ make me feel bingo. This only has a little bit of crack, but it was sure fun to write! One more part after this!

“Hey Angel.”

“Hey Hot Shot,” I smiled as I held my phone to my ear, the nicknames had settled in for us over the past couple of weeks, and I couldn’t deny that I liked using them. “The next monthly meeting is tonight, you ready to put on a show?”

He laughed, “Like it’s ever an act with you sweetheart.”

I snorted, “Yeah, sure.” I sighed, “Alright, for real though, be a loving boyfriend, but don’t be stupid.”

“Roger roger.”

“I guess I’ll meet you there.”

“Yup.” He hung up the phone promptly, leaving me in silence.

I rubbed my hands all over my face, “He’s a professional who’s only acting this way to make it natural and so he can get some sort of promotion. Don’t look too far into it. You’re probably going to go to prison anyway once this is all over with.” Despite telling myself this over and over, it really didn’t make a difference. I groaned and tried to force my face to relax from the smile I was wearing.

I banged my head once against a nearby wall, “Okay, time to get ready to get this over with.”

Before I knew it I was watching Dean pull up and park near my apartment as I walked to the meeting building.

“Have I ever told you how much I love your car?”

“Only every time you see her,” Dean fell into stride beside me.

“I thought we were gonna meet there.”

Dean grabbed my hand, “And how would that look, the boyfriend not escorting his very important girlfriend into an extremely dangerous crowd?”

“Fair point,” I squeezed his hand, smiling softly to myself.

The door squeaked as we opened it, giggling at nothing.

“Glad you love birds could join us.” Chuck sat at the front of the room, looking rather impatient.

I took my place, Dean beside me, and nodded soberly.

“Let’s begin.”

Naomi stepped forward, “Of course, sir. I have some things that need to be looked-”

“I don’t care about that,” Chuck waved his hand as he cut her off.

It took everything in me not to laugh.

“Some of my… sources, have told me that Doctor Hess wants to make a deal with me.”

There was a couple beats of silence before Meg got brave, “Uh, and who is that?”

“The leader of the Lettermen, obviously.”

The room erupted in laughter.

“Letterboys? Really?”

“Yes,” Chuck snapped at us, trying to shut us up, “and Y/n is going to set it all up.”

That sobered me up quickly, “Pardon?”

“You are going to set up the deal. You’re gonna be our middle man.”

I felt my insides shrivel. What he means is that I’ll be the scapegoat.

“Sir, I’d like to accompany her on this assignment if you don’t mind,” Dean said as he took a half step forward.

“I do mind. Starling will be working this alone, directly with me.”

“But sir-”

I placed a hand on his arm, “Dean.” I shook my head, telling him it wasn’t worth it.

He set his jaw and didn’t press any further.

“So, It’s settled then,” Chuck clapped his hands together once, “that’ll be all, you’re dismissed.”

I glanced at Naomi who looked annoyed at not getting her business done, but she wasn’t brave enough to get snapped at again.

It wasn’t much time later when me and Dean were walking back, alone again.

“Why did you do that?”

“Dean-”

“Why did you stop me from pairing up with you?”

“Because, you were doing a great job at being a loving boyfriend, but I also told you not to be stupid. What you were about to do was incredibly stupid.”

“So you’re gonna do it alone?!” Dean sounded angry, I wasn’t exactly sure why.

I turned to face him, “Yeah, I am! I’ve done stuff like this before, and I’ll have to do it again! But do you understand what this means for us??”

“No, I don’t.”

I grabbed him by the shoulders, “We can do something with this… Maybe I can…”

“We can do some sort of sting operation,” Dean quieted down like he was understanding.

“Exactly! I’ll set something up, I’ll feed you all the information...” I nodded my head, “we can do this.”

“Fine,” he turned and started walking again, “you’re still going to be doing most of this alone though.”

“Don’t worry Dean, I won’t mess it up.”

I thought I heard Dean mumble something, but I didn’t ask what it was. The rest of the walk was quiet until we reached where his car was parked.

I ran my hand along her, looking for scratches that didn’t exist.

“Stay safe, alright? I can’t be losing you now, Angel.”

“I will, don’t you worry Hot Shot.” I smiled at waved as he started her up and drove away.

Let’s cut to me probably doing something stupid, but it is the fastest way to get stuff done in these situations.

“I think you’re on the wrong side of town, ma’am.” A group of boys approached me as I walked a quiet street, deep in Lettermen territory.

I sighed, “You’re probably right, but I also heard through the grapevine that a Doctor Hess wants to make a deal. That ring any bells?”

They all glanced at each other before one addressed me, “Stay here.”

I leaned against a nearby building, choosing not to answer him vocally.

After a while, a man closer to my own age approached me.

“Doctor Hess?”

He laughed, “No, my name is Mick Davies. I’m more of a spokesperson. And I’m assuming you’re not Chuck.”

I smiled back at him, both of us keeping our distance, “Yeah, you wish. It’s Y/n.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

His smile dropped into a more serious expression, “You are correct when you mentioned a deal. Details are still in need of some finalizing, of course, but the basics are, if you share with us some of your… resources that we hear you have, helping us get on our feet, we’ll give you a part of the profits and keep our boys on our side of the line.”

“Intriguing...” This could be big. If I played my cards right, I could maybe bring down the mobs on both sides of the city. Now to play some cards… “If we come to an agreement of terms, Chuck wants a face to face settlement to seal the deal.”

“I don’t think that will be a problem.” He pulled out a card from his pocket, “My contact information, so we can work out the details before the deal.”

I stepped forward and took it, “Well, it’s been a pleasure, hope I see the least amount possible.”

“Likewise.”

And like that we both turned and went out opposite directions.

That wasn’t as bad as I thought it was. Maybe this will be easy.

But now to convince Chuck.

“They want the sealing of the deal face to face or it won’t happen.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

That wasn’t as bad as I thought it was. Maybe this will be easy.

Now to tell Dean the good news!

“Dean, call me back.”

“Dean, I’ve got something to tell you.”

“Hot Shot, if you don’t answer this damn phone I swear I’m not going put this meeting up.”

Why was this not easy.

The meeting was set. It was to happen in an isolated location just outside of town, two weeks away. Chuck was going to bring the goods, loads of weapons and drugs. I had to be there to back Chuck up, as I’m sure Mick would be there to do the same for this Doctor Hess.

“Dean, I sent the information to your phone, please be there with as many men as possible. From your old job, just to be safe.”

I wanted to actually talk to him. I shouldn’t want that. I’ve gotten too close. It doesn’t matter anymore though. He’s stopped talking to me mid job. The worst case scenario is that I somehow get found out and killed. The absolute best case scenario is that everyone goes to jail except me. The one I was fearing most though was the one where I never see Dean again. Unfortunately there were a bunch of options where that happens.

I kept telling myself that it was just a job to him. That this would benefit him. That he would never want to associate with someone from the mafia in normal circumstances.

Maybe going to jail would be good for me.

My phone rang with an unknown number popping up on the screen.

“Hello?”

“Hey Angel, sorry, I broke my phone.”

“God dammit!” All that worrying for nothing. All the stress that he was somehow dead or leaving me to deal with Chuck by myself. Wasted.

“What?”

“I have been trying to reach you all day. I got the meeting set up, its in two weeks. I’ll send you the place. Both Chuck and Doctor Hess are going to be there with a metric ton of damning evidence in the form of illegal weapons and drugs.”

“That… is awesome!”

“I know right?? I’m gonna need you to bring in all your people.” I soaked it in for a couple of breathes, “I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he’s arrested.”

“You’re not going to be there.” His voice was firm, it was commanding like there was no room for argument.

“Dean...” I spoke regretfully, oh how I wish I could listen to him, “if I’m not there, this all falls apart. This isn’t a personal choice, I have to be there.”

“You could get hurt.”

“Same with every day of my life.”

He sighed, “Fine, but you’re gonna wear a wire so we can communicate.”

“Dean, Chuck may be stupid enough to let you in as a cop, and he may be stupid enough to do this meeting face to face, but he’s not stupid enough-” I paused, “I take that back, he may be that stupid.”

“So it’s settled, you’re going to wear a wire, and I’m gonna bring in all the law enforcement fire power you could ever dream of.”

I laughed, “Deal.”

The meeting came all too quickly. I was wearing a wire, like Dean asked me, but I did not enjoy it, it seemed to be all that was on my mind. Everyone arrived separately. It was decided that I would arrive first and scout out the area, kicking out any lurkers. Then Mick was to show, then the bosses.

Dean was talking in my ear, telling me that they were ready, that anytime now Chuck and Doctor Hess was going to be arrested.

“The profits of the supplies will be split 70/30 right?” Chuck was chatting with Doctor Hess, me and Mick farther out.

Hess huffed, “That’s hardly enough to cover our other expenses, 50/50 split.”

“Come on Doc, there has to be something in it for me, 60/40.”

Her stare was withering, but Chuck was always an idiot, “Fine.”

They shook on it and Chuck directed her to the product a little ways away.

“Chopper is coming in to get eyes, then we’ll fall in,” Dean said.

I hummed discretely to tell him I heard and started to glance around the dark sky, supposedly looking for stars.

Eventually the helicopter flew in with a spotlight shining down on us.

“Finally,” I spoke out loud, glad this was going to be over.

But I might have spoken a bit too loudly since Chuck pulled out a gun, “You bitch!”

I faced him, my arms crossed against my chest, “Been called a lot worse you motherfucker.”

“FBI! Drop the weapon!” Dean was at the front of the group in an FBI vest, aiming his gun at Chuck. The rest of the agents surrounded the area and quickly started arresting Hess and Mick.

Chuck hesitated, but in the end he shot at me. I tried to move quickly but he still grazed my shoulder. Chuck looked like he wanted to shoot me again, but Dean took two shots before he could, one to the hand holding the gun and another to his leg, effectively making him drop the gun and fall to the ground. Dean directed a couple of agents to Chuck while he ran over to me.

“Man, you really are a hot shot Hot Shot.” I laughed as I pressed a hand against my shoulder.

“I can’t believe you just stood there as Chuck aimed a gun at you. That is so dangerous,” he made sure I was comfortable before he called for a medic.

“Chuck isn’t that great with precision weapons, look, he just grazed me!” I laid my clean hand on his arm, “Thank you. This means so much to me, I don’t know how I could ever repay you.”

The medics came and started to push Dean back so she could get to me.

“You helped get Sam out, how ‘bout we stay in touch and we’ll call it even?”

I nodded, “You got it Hot Shot.”

“They’ll take good care of you, Angel.”

Best Buds: @kitkatd7​ @snarky--starky​ @confetti-its-an-imagine-blog ​ @kaogasm​

Dean: @akshi8278​ @msmarvelouswinchester

TMAS: @flamencodiva

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

September 3, 2021

Heather Cox Richardson

The new anti-abortion law in Texas is not just about abortion; it is about undermining civil rights decisions made by the Supreme Court during the 1950s, 1960s, and 1970s. The Supreme Court declined to stop a state law that violates a constitutional right.

Since World War II, the Supreme Court has defended civil rights from state laws that threaten them. During the Great Depression, Democrats under President Franklin Delano Roosevelt began to use the government to regulate business, provide a basic social safety net—this is when we got Social Security—and promote infrastructure. But racist Democrats from the South balked at racial equality under this new government.

After World War II, under Chief Justice Earl Warren, a Republican appointed by President Dwight Eisenhower, and Chief Justice Warren Burger, a Republican appointed by Richard Nixon, the Supreme Court set out to make all Americans equal before the law. They tried to end segregation through the 1954 Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka, Kansas, decision prohibiting racial segregation in public schools. They protected the right of married couples to use contraception in 1965. They legalized interracial marriage in 1967. In 1973, with the Roe v. Wade decision, they tried to give women control over their own reproduction by legalizing abortion.

They based their decisions on the due process and the equal protection clauses of the Fourteenth Amendment, passed by Congress in 1866 and ratified in 1868 in the wake of the Civil War. Congress developed this amendment after legislatures in former Confederate states passed “Black Codes” that severely limited the rights and protections for formerly enslaved people. Congress intended for the powers in the Fourteenth to enable the federal government to guarantee that African Americans had the same rights as white Americans, even in states whose legislatures intended to keep them in a form of quasi-slavery.

Justices in the Warren and Burger courts argued that the Fourteenth Amendment required that the Bill of Rights apply to state governments as well as to the federal government. This is known as the “incorporation doctrine,” but the name matters less than the concept: states cannot abridge an individual’s rights, any more than the federal government can. This doctrine dramatically expanded civil rights.

From the beginning, there was a backlash against the New Deal government by businessmen who objected to the idea of federal regulation and the bureaucracy it would require. As early as 1937, they were demanding an end to the active government and a return to the world of the 1920s, where businessmen could do as they wished, families and churches managed social welfare, and private interests profited from infrastructure projects. They gained little traction. The vast majority of Americans liked the new system.

But the expansion of civil rights under the Warren Court was a whole new kettle of fish. Opponents of the new decisions insisted that the court was engaging in “judicial activism,” taking away from voters the right to make their own decisions about how society should work. That said that justices were “legislating from the bench.” They insisted that the Constitution is limited by the views of its framers and that the government can do nothing that is not explicitly written in that 1787 document.

This is the foundation for today’s “originalists” on the court. They are trying to erase the era of legislation and legal decisions that constructed our modern nation. If the government is as limited as they say, it cannot regulate business. It cannot provide a social safety net or promote infrastructure, both things that cost tax dollars and, in the case of infrastructure, take lucrative opportunities from private businesses.

It cannot protect the rights of minorities or women.

Their doctrine would send authority for civil rights back to the states to wither or thrive as different legislatures see fit. But it has, in the past, run into the problem that Supreme Court precedent has led the court to overturn unconstitutional state laws that deprive people of their rights (although the recent conservative courts have chipped away at those precedents).

The new Texas law gets around this problem with a trick. It does not put state officers in charge of enforcing it. Instead, it turns enforcement over to individual citizens. So, when opponents sued to stop the measure from going into effect, state officials argued that they could not be stopped from enforcing the law because they don’t enforce it in the first place. With this workaround, Texas lawmakers have, as Justice Stephen Breyer noted in his dissent, “delegate[d] to private individuals the power to prevent a woman from…[exercising]...a federal constitutional right.”

Justice Sonia Sotomayor was more forceful, calling the measure “a flagrantly unconstitutional law engineered to prohibit women from exercising their constitutional rights and evade judicial scrutiny.” And yet, the Supreme Court permitted that state law to stand simply by refusing to do anything to stop it. As Sotomayor wrote in her dissent: “Last night, the Court silently acquiesced in a State’s enactment of a law that flouts nearly 50 years of federal precedents.”

A state has undermined the power of the federal government to protect civil rights. It has given individuals who disagree with one particular right the power to take it away from their neighbors. But make no mistake: there is no reason that this mechanism couldn’t be used to undermine much of the civil rights legislation of the post–World War II years.

On September 4, 1957, three years after the Brown v. Board of Education decision, a crowd of angry white people barred nine Black students from entering Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas. The white protesters chanted: “Two, four, six, eight, we ain’t gonna integrate.”

In 1957, Republican President Dwight Eisenhower used the federal government to protect the constitutional rights of the Little Rock Nine from the white vigilantes who wanted to keep them second-class citizens. In 2021, the Supreme Court has handed power back to the vigilantes.

—-

Notes:

​���https://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/20pdf/21a24_8759.pdf

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[earthlyemily]

I’m struggling so much financially and honestly just wanted to vent somewhere. I’ve always lived in poverty and I think in my whole life I’ve had maybe 2 years where I didn’t have to stress about money and not be able to buy groceries or pay rent or be put into collections for not being able to make payments etc and that was when I was in college. For at least the past 5 years I’ve been struggling but I never talk about it. I don’t even know where to start haha I don’t even know what it’s like to not stress financially and be in debt. I’ll just start with the first things that come to mind with what I’m owing maybe. So it’s Dec. 23 and rent was due yesterday because we moved into this small suite attached to someone’s house on Nov. 22. It’s $1200 which is so expensive, but also the average price for BC if not even cheaper for a one-bedroom with a yard, utilities included. and no first and last, no pet deposits, etc because this is just short them for 4 months until the end of March because i reached out and asked and they said yes.

After 1 month I already remember why we went into the trailer almost 2 years ago and it’s literally because we can’t afford any other lifestyle. I think that’s the difference between us and some people that live in trailers, vans, etc. like we lived in a mouse & mouse shit infested trailer for 6 months breathing in their feces and urine and having it all over all our belongings. i literally had to take my whole life to the dump and we officially have no food storage because they ruined it all. there were at least 50-60 mice because a few birth cycles happened in the ceiling. I could write a whole post about my experience of living with field mice, but now isn’t the time so for rent, i only had $600 yesterday so that’s what I gave them. thank goodness they were okay with me asking for a few more days to make the other half. but I don’t even know when that’s going to be :(

my etsy shop veganveins has been doing so bad lately for more than one reason, most of my orders are just postcards and stickers, and while I’m grateful for them, that $1-3 profit isn’t going to keep my business going. and it’s so hard for me to work lately. the wifi doesn’t work sometimes for hours and I always get distracted by shawn and the dogs working from home in a small space. I need to get better at my time management. I got up at 8:30 today which is actually early for me so I’m proud of myself. I’m chronically ill and I really need to go get a blood test and see what’s happening because I haven’t gotten one since being diagnosed with graves disease again 1.5 years ago. anyways. i switched to a print on demand method this year for veganveins for some shirts and sweaters because i couldn’t afford to keep ordering shirts in bulk, and it’s honestly been so, so expensive and i barely make any profit. I’m currently owing my t-shirt printer $999 on one invoice (it was originally $2196 so I’ve at least paid half of it) but that was 2 weeks ago and I still need to pay it. Mario, my t-shirt printer has been with me since I started veganveins and I’m so grateful he gives me extensions on paying the invoices. every other t-shirt printer I’ve ever asked has said no. in addition to the $999 there’s going to be another $2200 invoice I’ll be receiving this week for my last order. I think because of the holidays he’s going to give me some time to pay off that too, but the problem is when I have outstanding invoices he doesn’t print new orders for me. He’s closed now until Jan. 4 so I just need to somehow make that much before then.

btw I don’t have a credit card ($8500 all used on veganveins and it got put into collections last march) and I had a fully used $5000 line of credit but I got a debt consolidation loan for $16,000 1 month ago and my payment for that is $167 a month. it fully paid off and closed my credit card and line of credit + $3000 overdraft which is nice. but now I don’t have any extra money except for what comes in. my credit is only 640 which is really bad in canada so I won’t get approved for a new credit card or loan until I build that up, which is going to be a few months of regular payments. so for regular payments, the $167 for the loan is due on Dec. 27. Yesterday the trailer loan which is literally unliveable from what the mice did until we renovate it came out for $260, that’s how much I pay once a month for it on the 22nd. I didn’t have $260 in my account so it got rejected and I got charged a $48 NSF fee. omg if anyone is reading this long i’m shook. i’m genuinely just writing this for myself to process my feelings and in case anyone was curious about my financial situation here you go haha. maybe some of you can relate, maybe some can’t. anyways. so now I somehow have to get $260 in my account for that for when they try to take it out again in the next few days.

another payment that was supposed to come out yesterday but hasn’t, but I’m sure will come out today is our truck loan. they deferred it for 8 months because of covid which was so nice, but we started paying it again 2 months ago. for both those months I called and made my payment a later date and that helped, but there’s barely any service here so when I called 4 times yesterday to try and change the date the payment comes out, I was on hold for 20-30 mins then my phone would disconnect and hang up. so that’s $586 and it will come out today, I have $0.46 in my account right now so it will get rejected and I’ll get charged another $48 NSF fee. this is why being poor always costs more and the banks are always harsher on those who don’t have money. today I’ll try calling again to see if I can ask for it to come out on a different day like january 10 instead, so I can first have time to pay rent and the trailer and also our $190 truck insurance which got rejected from my account 3 days ago, which was another $48 NSF fee. oh and something else i’m so stressed about is CIBC is going to put me into collections on December 28 if I don’t pay $1000, $700 of which is purely their fees. I have a $300 overdraft which they said i have to cover by then and the $700 is literally their $48 fees added up over the past 3 months. I got a text from them today saying my account is over and it’s because an amnesty international $11 monthly donation came out and obvi there’s no money in there, so that’s another $48 they charged. they’ve already given me a month to pay it and don’t want to wait any longer :(

I owe everyone in my family money, my sister $1650, my mom $700 and my brother also lent me $700. none of my siblings have money either and my mom definitely doesn’t so I hate that i had to borrow that much, and it’s literally been months. thankfully they’re so patient but i can’t wait to not owe them that

omg and i can’t even think about the amount of money shawn’s grandma has lent us. she’s genuinely the only reason we haven’t been completely homeless. but it’s a lot. like i don’t even want to say the number on here. she let us use it from her line of credit over the years and we’ve been slowly paying her back, but she lets us go months at a time without making a payment which i honestly hate doing, but have no choice. i’ve felt a lot of shame and guilt about this, but I also know that she genuinely would rather help us than see us suffer.

so i’m gonna talk about a big reason I’m broke this month especially - saving a pig named buster. his rescue cost me $1850 out of pocket that I didn’t have. but otherwise he was going to be killed in 2 days, he was my baby and I loved him so I had to do it. I somehow made $1350 that went towards it but I’m still owing $500, which I just asked for an extension for today until the new year. i’m not really supposed to talk about it but everything I’ve ever posted here has stayed here, so that cost was literally just from me buying the pig off the farmer. myself along with everyone else ive talked to is disgusted that he charged that much, but he wasnt budging and if that’s what it was going to take, of course I’m going to do it. I wouldn’t think twice about doing it for my dogs and Buster was smarter and more affectionate than them. i love him and I’m so happy he was saved. a non-profit organization transported him to a sanctuary and it was my biggest wish come true and the happiest moment I’ve had all year. my eyes are literally tearing up haha i love him so much. i could write a whole post about his neglect but basically he hasn’t had fresh water in weeks, he was only being fed handfuls of mixed nuts, he was constantly dirty in a muddy enclosure with an electric fence that he was always getting shocked on. he never got true love or affection except for when I gave him it. i posted an instagram story about him and asked people to message me and that i needed help, 2 people donated $111 and $120 each, and 2 other people donated $15 and $12. Someone also e-transferred me $20. These 4 donations equaled almost $300 ($277) and I was so grateful for those people wanting to help me help buster. if anyone else wants to help me with the cost of his rescue i still do need help and would appreciate it so much. this feels really weird and vulnerable for me to do and i’m sorry if anyone is annoyed by this post, I just genuinely am struggling and figured if someone does have extra and wants to help, there isn’t harm in that. but i do feel guilty for asking because i know there are so many other people struggling out there that need even more help than i do :(

i haven’t talked about it publically but i guess I will now, this farmer that I bought buster off of is the owner of the organic vegetable farm i was living and working at this past spring and summer. we worked really hard all summer to be able to stay there and park for free in the winter, but this past fall he told us no one was allowed to stay at the farm anymore, including us, so we had to find a new place to bring our 14ft trailer in to live. so that was an unexpected bummer and if we had known we wouldn’t be allowed staying there anymore (despite doing the labour of $1200 a month for free harvesting organic kale, for an off-grid spot he told us was worth $350 a month to park) we wouldn’t have driven 8 hours with the trailer and we would have stayed in the snow in northern BC and sucked it up and lived on the land we got the opportunity to rent this fall. Donna, the woman who is renting the land to us has been the biggest blessing in my life this year. I love her so much. Basically, she’s letting us live on 170 acres for $600 a month. letting us do whatever we want on the land (building a cabin, setting up rainwater catchment systems, having a solar passive greenhouse and a huge garden) LIKE WHAT. we could even open a farm sanctuary if we had money, i wanted to so bad but obviously that dream didn’t even come close to being reality. opportunities like this literally don’t exist in canada, especially not in BC. i cant even process my gratitude, i cry everytime i think about it. when we go back in the spring it’s going to be the beginning of the rest of our life :) i want to rescue so many senior dogs. everything we’ve always wanted to do we’ll be able to do, assuming we have money haha. but i want to have an organic farm and grow veggies to donate to families in need, especially since we live on stolen indiginious land and I see how the goverment actively restricts their access to fresh healthy produce. but anyways by then it was too dangerous to drive 8 hours back hauling a trailer in the snow and it was just easier to stay in the okanagan until the spring. i know the farmer probably doesn’t realize this and he’s also probably struggling financially but not being able to stay at the farm for the winter months we worked for, and buying buster for that price is a big reason I’m in the financial stress I am now so I figured i’d talk about it.

anyways. i think this is long enough and i think anyone reading this gets the point, i’m drowning in debt, my small business is almost costing me more to run and i’m not making nearly enough profit to live, the past few months ive been living off grid (not by choice) and just focused literally on surviving and not freezing and getting water etc and not having service or internet has affected me negatively. there’s internet now in the suite I’m in, it works really good in the morning and not as well at night, like for example tumblr doesn’t work past 5 pm for me to post photos. but ive been in a bad sleep schedule since i got here that i need to change. im sick and i need to heal myself. tomorrow i’ll set my alarm for 7:30. hopefully i make some money today. i got a social media managing job and it will end up being $1000 a month once i do the 3+ hours a day of work which im already feeling like i barely have time for my own basic life tasks. but i can do this.

if anyone reading this wants to help me out a bit, my paypal email is emilymiddin@hotmail.com or http://www.paypal.com/paypalme/veganveins

and my e-transfer email is emilymiddin@icloud.com i have auto deposit so you won’t have to ask a question :)

this is my first time in 7 years i’ve made a post like this or asked for help. i won’t do it again but figured i have nothing to lose. if you read up to here i love you a lot and thank you so much for being here <3

[the-fairy-thief]

Lee Jeno

The City of Darkness | pt. 1

TW: mentions of death, prostitution, rape, very sensitive story just warning y’all

(A/n) This is based off of any cliche zombie movie ever made

This is the City of Darkness, once downtown Seoul. The bustling city where Korean dreams came true.

It’s now named City of Darkness for its lack of light and infestation of human beings who enjoy eating others, the infected. Zombies.

Flashback

“Eomma!” I screamed for the woman who raised me as she cradled my father. My screaming, shifting father.

His eyes were glassy, filled with haze. His blue veins stood out against his sun tanned skin from the years of working outside. He was gone. Even I knew it.

She sobbed, she just wouldn’t let him go. “Eomma! He’s gone! We need to leave, EOMMA! EOMMA NO!”

Flashback over

“Soyeonie. Come to oppa.” I swallowed the glob of spit in the back of my throat as the dirty man held his hands out to me. I was disgusted with myself, this is my life. Number 20.

Jeno POV

“Now when this thing started, we were all there. Don’t forget that, those people are our people down there.” The sergeant preached.

I was getting ready to be sent back to South Korea for recovery of survivors and to check out the area, the damage, the zombies.

I was 16 when it started, I still remember Sung-ho’s body being turned to the tv as it told us a mysterious case of the flu was discovered in downtown Seoul.

He was so scared he cried, his eyes were swollen for hours. He’s always had some anxiety.

...

“Jeno, you know you don’t have to go. You don’t have to be this soldier.”

“But eomma, you know what happens if I don’t do this, this could pay for us to finally be comfortable. You realize that? I’ll be fine.” I hugged her, my brilliant mother.

She was a nurse when this whole thing happened, she saw the first case with her own eyes. She didn’t believe it either. Nobody did.

...

“Lee Jeno!” “Here, sir”

“This is exciting huh?” the guy next to me smiled. War junkies rose from this predicament. Trigger happy guys.

“Yeah. It sure is.” I leaned back trying to soothe my anxiety.

Flashback

“I love you, Jeno.” she whispered as we laid in her bed. Tame Impala played over her speaker as we just held one another.

“My dad is suspected to have it.” Miyah whispered.

“Hey, don’t think like that, he could be completely fine, just a seasonal thing.”

Little did I know, her dad worked at the plant where it started.

Flashback over.

The boat rocked on the waters on our way to South Korea. When all of this went down my mom secured us a spot in Hong Kong, one for me, one for her, and one for Sung-Ho.

I pulled the picture out of my pocket of my family, and stroked my dear mother’s face.

“Ok boys! We’re coming up on the shore. Remember the mission, scope the areas and return in 2 days. That’s the only hard part, you got this jackasses!”

God I hope so.

Soyeon POV

“That was great wasn’t it hun.” He stroked my arm with his calloused hands. “Yeah.”

This was the agreement with Infantry 102. I get protection in exchange for ownership. Free food, clothes, everything I need.

The giant 20 on my shoulder was a reminder of my deal with the devils themselves.

“Soyeon, what’d you get? 50?” I stayed with Jisung as an agreement that if I share profits, he’ll keep me safe.

“40. That’s 90 today.” Better than most days. Most days I’m lucky to finish with 50.

“Goddamnit, I thought the idiot would’ve handed over everything he got. These men are desperate.” Jisung sighed.

“I need to lie down, long day.” I went to the cot on the floor of our one room flat. The one room we pay 80 a month for.

...

“Soyeon, wake up! Did you hear that?” It was maybe 2 am and I was in no position to hear anything.

“Fucking no, what is it?”

“They’re coming.”

“Who?”

“The military. I overheard one of the guys on the last working radio. They intercepted a signal of some guys from Hong Kong. This is our chance.” He was so excited, I forget Jisung is 17 sometimes. He was a year younger than me but looked 25 at least.

“Shut up, they’re not going to get us. You know what the infantry will do to them. They don’t take help kindly.”

“Yeah and? This is our chance.” He was right, but it was a tiny chance.

Jeno POV

“I FOUND A CAR OVER HERE.” a guy yelled.

“Yo, shut the fuck up we’re gonna get caught.” We snuck to the SUV and hopped in looking to patrol.

“You got this.” I whispered.

“Fuck yeah you do, we aren’t letting you be a pussy.” One of the guys overheard my inner monologue.

Flashback

“Jeno stoppp!” she giggled as I had her pinned down. My hands were relentlessly poking at her sides, making her squirm.

“Make me.”

“Okay,” she kissed me, one of our very many shared moments. “Love you, Jeno.”

“I love you too, Miyah.”

Flashback over.

“YO WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT.” I was shaken from my daydream to see hands all over the windows.

“Fucking zombies, step on the gas and run them down!” I yelled. “For fucks sake.”

I swear to god if I go out to these cannibals, I’m gladly going to hell.

Jihoon did what he was told and stepped on the gas, tossing me to the side making me hit my head off of the side of the shitty SUV.

“KEEP GOING.” “OH MY GOD.” Screams filled the car.

“SHIT THE CAR IS OUT OF GAS” as we were surrounded by zombies, great timing.

“Bust out the windows and start shooting boys.” That plan went well until someone decided to get their gun taken by the zombie. Good thing I’m surrounded by fucking idiots.

“We need to get out, get a better angle for shooting.” I opened the sun roof and hopped through the top, shooting at every direction until they were no longer surrounding us.

“Shit man, that was close.”

“You all are fucking stupid assholes.”

“Look we need to stay a team if we want to survive.”

“Well we should get out of here,” I remarked.

We got out and started walking.

“Yo man, is that a compound?” I glanced up from the ground. A fence surrounded a group of buildings. Survivors.

“We should be careful, we don’t want them to think we’re a threat.” I warned.

“Yeah, man.”

Soyeon POV

I heard laughing from outside of my window, they probably found them. A group of scavengers.

When the infantry finds scavs they have a tendency of making them feel less than welcome.

“HELP, LOOK WE’RE HERE TO HELP YOU GUYS.”

“Could it be, the military? Who Jisung was talking about.” I thought out loud.

Jeno POV

We said we came in peace but this is what we got, stripped naked with numbers burned onto our backs. I’m 97.

“Jeno, I don’t wanna die.” It was Jihoon.

“We don’t know what they’re doing but we probably aren’t being killed.”

“It’s your boys’ lucky day. Commander wants to meet with you personally before the fun begins.

...

“Boys, welcome to Infantry 102. We hope we’ve made our good impressions. We got ladies, guns, and a black market in case you were wondering. We got it all, and you can stay for a price. How’s that sound.”

“Just let us leave! We won’t bother you anymore we promise.” Jihoon begged.

“HAha, no. You see, how do we know you won’t deliver our location to your bosses and they won’t send in people to exterminate us. You’re staying here, or at least your corpse is.”

I sighed. This is going to be a long night.

[A/N: this is my first ever piece of writing pls go easy on her.]

[rapperkookz]

charity date auction | f2l!jk | fluff, smut if you SQUINT

A/N day ___ of quarantine and i’m going insane

genre: fluff, crack, slight smut if you SQUINT

summary: Beta Tau Sigma was hosting their annual charity date auction for their philanthropy. In previous years, you just attended for fun and to see how many university girls were actually willing to spend their money just to go out on one date with one of the fraternity members. This year’s something different, especially when Jungkook’s on the lineup to get auctioned off.

word count: 4.3k ______________________________________________________________

Your POV

Ah the spring semester. The time when most events and end-of-the-year festivities happen. It was your favorite time. And this was no exception.

“Hey y/n, don’t just stand there laughing, this is a serious meeting we’re having right now.” Hoseok complained pointing his finger at you accusingly as you tried to hide your chuckles in. You leaned against Jungkook’s side, crossing your arms as you responded, “First of all, oppa, I’m sitting. And I’m sorry! This is my favorite event of yours, watching the girls - and guys! - fight over you idiots and actually pay money just to spend time with you all! It’s a great time, ah if only my Sisters and I could do something as dumb as this.”

“Call us dumb all you want kiddo, it gets us over $2000 in philanthropy,” Namjoon shrugged giving you a lighthearted mocking face. You shut your mouth, a little pout remaining on your lips as you turned your attention back to the show that you and Jungkook were watching. He grinned and poked your head with one hand, his opposite arm easily going around and framing your shoulders. “what?”

“Nothing, you’re just funny. Hopefully you won’t make fun of me when I’m getting auctioned.”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m part of the lineup this year,” He said simply, scanning your face for a reaction. “That’s...okay right?”

You tried to hide your shock with a little smile, “N-no yeah that’s fine, I mean we’re not dating, Kook. You can do whatever you want,” Even as the words left your mouth, you felt your chest tightening in discomfort, finding it harder to smile genuinely at him. Jungkook mumbled a quiet ‘yeah’ and watched the show again, but the air surrounding you both suddenly turned awkward.

“Hey, with Kookie in the lineup this year, we might double profits!” Jimin said excitedly from the table where he sat with the rest of the boys. Taehyung nodded in agreement, “Even with Yoongi hyung out, Jungkook will probably get us at least $700,”

“You’re not doing the auction, Yoongi oppa?” You asked the older boy timidly. He looked at you with a soft smile, eyes reading your expression as if you were an open book. He shook his head, “No need to out of respect for my guy. We don’t do the auction if we’re in relationships.”

You nodded in acknowledgement, that made sense. Yoongi just started dating this guy a couple months ago and you’ve never see him happier ever since. You lingered on the last part of his comment, so...if you and Jungkook were dating, he wouldn’t be in the auction?

Ah but that was the thing though, you and him weren’t dating. It’s...complicated. You like Jungkook and he likes you back. That you both have established, hence the ease and touchiness that you and him already share. But after a drunk hookup with him and both of you struggling with the actual concept of settling down and commitment - even though that is basically what you both were doing already as of recent - it was just a friendship with a mutual romantic attraction that has no defined labels. Yet, neither of you seek anyone else and you both spend every waking day together when not in class or preoccupied with other activities.

“I uh, I need to go back to the house. I’ll see you guys tomorrow at the auction.” You said standing up rather abruptly, “I’m gonna get my bag from your room, Kook.” 

He nodded and stood up soon after, heading towards the table where the rest of his brothers sat. Seokjin patted his back,  “When are you and y/n going to make it official, huh?”

“It literally kills me watching you both,” Yoongi deadpanned in agreement. Jungkook sighed, running his hands through his hair as he leaned against the kitchen island. “I want to be with y/n, believe me. We’ve both talked about it too, I don’t know...just, commitment? We both got out of messy breakups and I don’t know if we’re ready for it yet.”

“Not ready? You two literally act like you’ve been dating for the past two months.” Jimin scoffed. Namjoon nodded, “Besides, she looked upset about the auction thing. You weren’t too keen on doing it either when we brought the event up at chapter.”

“I know,” Jungkook muttered, “give me a sec, hyungs. I’m gonna go talk to her before she leaves.” 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

You pursed your lips as you packed up your books from Jungkook’s room. Why was this bothering you so much? Dumb question, you knew why this was bugging you, someone else is literally going to go on a date with your boyfriend - not...boyfriend. Fuck!

“Ugh!”

“y/n?” Jungkook said softly, knocking on the door as he opened it. You whipped around surprised, hitting your backpack which fell off his bed. “h-hey, Kook.”

He grinned at your clumsiness, his eyes turning into crescent moons as he closed the door behind him. “You alright?”

“I’m fine, I just have to, you know, go back to the house and do some stuff.” You said, your voice getting quieter as you went on. Picking up your bag, you put your laptop inside and zipped it up before sitting down at the side of the bed. Jungkook sat next to you as if on instinct. “y/n, I don’t have to do the auction, you know? Not if you’re uncomfortable with it.”

“Kook, who am I to stop you from that, though? And I mean, it’ll give your fraternity some good money too, I don’t have any right to keep you from participating.” You said, focus completely on your hands which were placed tightly in your lap. He sighed and grabbed one of your hands, lightly playing with your fingers which were hiding in the sleeve of his sweater. “You have every right, you’re...y/n.” 

“I am y/n,” You said with a small smile, but you knew what he meant. “Go through with it, Kook. I’m not that selfish especially when you know...we’re not even together.”

“Yeah,” He said interlocking your fingers, “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

You nodded, rubbing the back of his hand with your thumb. He smiled and pressed a kiss to your cheek, that’s how you always said goodbye. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“-sold! To that lovely lady for $500!” Yoongi said excitedly, watching Namjoon walk to the girl who won him with a rose in his hand, giving it to the girl who was fully charmed by him already. You stood with Taehyung and his date, who - conveniently - was one of your sisters that has had a crush on him for what seemed like ages.

“Look at Namjoon hyung’s smile,” Taehyung snickered hitting you on the arm in amusement. You turned around to face him and your sister, covering your mouth with one hand, afraid your laugh was going to be heard by the rest of the people in the venue, “You guys are such dorks, stop making me laugh!” 

Your sister placed her hands on your shoulders and spun you around, “it’s Jungkook’s turn.” All of a sudden, your insides ran cold and you couldn’t find it in you to breathe, whether it be because you’re dreading this or because of how amazing Jungkook looked, you didn’t know. He was wearing his usual monochromatic look, a large white tee tucked into black jeans which emphasized his thighs and made you salivate and his hair was its usual fluffy brown mess parted down the middle. 

“Next up we have Jungkook! He’s a comp-sci major with a photography minor. This year, he’s our fraternity’s social media chair and vice president of records. Probably our most talented brother, he can do literally anything, and he can serenade you to sleep.” Yoongi said with a wink at the end, “Do we have $20?”

A swarm of hands shot up from the crowd making Yoongi chuckle, “Ah I crack myself up, $30...$50-”

“I bid $100.” 

Your eyes shot to the girl who just stood up, and to your horror it was none other than Lee Yuna. She was in another sorority on campus, and she was annoyingly pretty. You and her were good friends, you know, until she homewrecked your last relationship.

“Isn’t that-”

“$150.”

The words left your mouth before you could process anything, the attention of the room now on you as you let the price slip. You heard Taehyung try to hide his laughter from behind you, as Yoongi started ushering you up to the stage.

“$150 going once, going twice-”

“$300,” Yuna said her eyes narrowing at your form. You bit your lip in annoyance, walking up the stairs. You huffed out a breath, taking a glance at Yoongi as you answered, “$400.”

“$600.”

“$750.” You said with finality. There was no way that she would say anything higher than that. I mean, you guys are college students, this auction could easily apply to your student loans. “$800.”

“That’s Lee Yuna with $800, you gonna raise it y/n?” You crossed your arms, having an inner battle between yourself as you rested your weight on your leg, “$1000.”

“$1000!” Yoongi shouted, “Going once, going twice.”

“Fuck whatever, my parents will never give me $1000 without an explanation.” Yuna said leaving the stage agitated.

“And that’s $1000 sold to l/n y/n!” Yoongi said excitedly as the venue started clapping. You let out a sound of embarrassment, messing with your braids, as you started descending the stairs. You refused to look anyone in the eye, especially not the boys, and God forbid, Jungkook.

“Ah!” You shrieked in surprise as you felt arms circle around your waist, pulling you along to the side of the room. Thankfully the attention of the crowd was back to the front as Seokjin took the stage for his turn in the bidding. “Kook, don’t say it.”

“Hey, c’mon. Look at me y/n.” Jungkook said chuckling. He lifted the rose and put it at your eye level, which was trained to the floor. You couldn’t help the smile that graced your face as you took the rose in your hand, lifting your head up a little to get a better look at it, but still refusing to meet his eye. Jungkook mumbled something under his breath that you couldn’t quite catch besides ‘so stubborn’ before cupping your cheeks in between his hands and forcing you to look at him.

Damn his sparkling brown eyes. God his eyes that literally look like they hold the entire solar system in them. You felt your resolve melting, your cheeks tinging pink at how adoringly he looked at you. “What Kook?” 

“Nothing,” he smiled. His focus moved from your eyes down to your lips, darting back up as if to ask for your permission. You grinned and puckered your lips in the slightest, your eyes fluttering closed as he finally closed the distance and kissed you.

It was short, but it still conveyed a mirage of emotions that somehow managed to overwhelm you. Neither of you were huge on public displays of affection, especially when your relationship had no defined labels. You pulled away first after the brief intimate moment, offering him a smile as you grabbed his hand and began leading him towards the back where you previously stood with Taehyung and your sister.

You could literally see the cockiness radiating from Taehyung as he held out his hand for Jungkook to complete their brother shake. The older boy nudged your side, “Didn’t know you were ballin with money, y/n. You should participate in the bidding more often.” Rolling your eyes, you were about to roast the living life out of Taehyung before Jungkook squeezed your hand.

“Cut it out, hyung.” The boy said lightheartedly, a small chuckled radiating from his chest. You and Jungkook met eyes once more, his expression softening even more - if that was possible - as he framed his arms around your body. You snuggled your back against his warmth upon instinct, feeling content in his embrace as the group of you watched the rest of the auction.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

You said goodbye to your sister as the boys were cleaning up the venue. It was a bit of a given that you were going back to the fraternity house, especially in these circumstances. You were cleaning up the tables with Hoseok as you watched Taehyung and your sister say their goodbyes. She looked as giddy as you’ve ever seen her, and from the way Taehyung was shyly rubbing the back of his neck, there was a potential new romance brewing in the air.

“We’re gonna move the platform back to Student Activities, we’ll see you guys at the house?” Jungkook asked standing with Jimin and Seokjin, his eyes, though, were trained on you at his question. You nodded in response, the other boys mumbling on in agreement as they hurried their cleaning tasks.

The remaining five of you leisurely hung around the common area of the fraternity house after changing into something more comfortable, waiting for the three to come back. You were minding your own business in the kitchen, drinking some juice as you scrolled through your tiktok feed on your phone.

“So,” Yoongi said hopping on the counter, “$1000 for Kook, huh?”

You sighed and put your phone down, sipping on your glass as you faced the older boy. Yoongi was like an older brother to you, more than the other guys. He gave you all your talks about Jungkook and this was no different. “I know what you’re going to say, oppa.”

“No, I’m not helping you pay for the money you promised our chapter.” He rolled his eyes. You laughed and threw your scrunchie at him, “No! You’re so annoying. You were gonna talk to me about Jungkook.”

“My question never changes, kiddo.” He said simply, giving you your hair tie back. “Why aren’t you official?”

“Yeah, why aren’t you official?” Hoseok said curious from the other room. You and Yoongi turned your heads to see the others listening intently in your conversation. Yoongi hopped off the counter and patted your shoulder, leading the both of you into the common area. You sat down on the arm of the single seat, facing the boys as you rested your elbows on your lap, your face being propped up by your hands. “I don’t know guys, I wanna be with Jungkook more than anything, I don’t know if he’s ready yet though or if I’m ready-”

“My God, all I know is that I’m ready to smack both of you upside your heads,” Namjoon shook his head. “y/n, it literally pains me and all of us watching you both pine for each other.”

“We-we don’t pine for each other...” You mumbled your voice trailing off as you tried to deny his statement.

Hoseok laughed, “Oh please, it’s all in the eyes y/n.”

“Besides, you’re literally wearing his shirt. He doesn’t even let us borrow his clothes,” Taehyung added making you curl your body in closer to itself.

Your lips formed a pout, trying to come up with a smart reply to the boys, but to no surprise you couldn’t figure one out. “I’ll...I don’t know, I’ll talk to Kook. We’re gonna have to I mean, I literally paid $1000 for a date with him.”

The others burst out laughing as if they forgot the highlight of the night. Your cheeks warmed up in embarrassment as Yoongi started hitting your leg, fully amused. 

“Where are you even gonna get $1000?” Taehyung laughed, “I’ve seen your bank account y/n,”

“Stop! Oppa, I have a...savings...account somewhere.” You whined crossing your arms. The guys lived to tease you, they say it’s all love, but personally you think it’s because you’re an easy target. Either way, you let it slide, their jokes were pretty funny anyway. 

Namjoon cleared his throat after the room calmed down from their outburst. “You know, y/n, you must have been aware of this, but you could have just gotten Jungkook for free.”

“Matter of fact, you already have his heart for free,” Yoongi agreed, his sharp hearing picking up the click of the knob as the front door opened. In an instant, the remaining three boys walked inside the fraternity house, looking relieved to finally be back in their home. Chatter started to spark up once more as the boys were now complete. Your attention was focused on Jungkook as he lagged into the common room from the kitchen, drinking from a bottle of water that he retrieved from the fridge. He gravitated to your side while listening to the conversation of his brothers, his hand easily taking its place on your waist. 

He squeezed your skin as if saying hello, making you wiggle against his body as you let out a laugh. Jungkook looked at you fondly, noticing that you were wearing one of his shirts and wow did you manage to pull it off, even if you were only wearing his white tee and a pair of your athletic shorts. After a couple minutes, the group of you dispersed into doing your own separate things, you and Jungkook already making yourselves comfortable in his room.

He grabbed a towel and informed you that he was going to take a quick shower. You nodded and leaned against his headboard, passing the time efficiently by scrolling through tiktoks. Soon enough, Jungkook was strolling back inside his room, rubbing his hair dry as he hummed a little song. You narrowed your eyes at him as he innocently looked at you with a smile, “What?”

“You’re trying to seduce me, aren’t you?” You said shamelessly checking out his half-naked form. He only wore his grey sweatpants with you when he wanted something. He smirked mischievously, “It’s working, isn’t it?”

“Shut up,” You said throwing one of his pillows at him. He laughed, swiftly dodging your attack as he focused on drying his hair. You put your phone down on his bedside table, trying to figure out the right moment to start speaking. “You know, Kook-”

“Wait, I just wanna say first that I’m not gonna make you pay $1000 or force you to go out on a date with me. I can help you pay the money if my hyungs are really pressing for it because it does go towards our chapter.” He said sitting on the side of his bed adjacent to you. “What did you wanna say?”

You suddenly started to feel shy, your thoughts all clumping together as you fumbled with what to say first. “Uh...about tonight,” God your palms were sweaty. You and Jungkook have had this talk numerous times, yet it still made you nervous every time it was brought up. It was probably your fear of rejection, even though all signs pointed to the complete opposite of that. “I, um, I know that even yesterday, I was laughing about this auction and about the girls and guys bidding and honestly you probably think I’m stupid by what happened tonight-”

“Not at all,” Jungkook said putting his hand on your thigh for comfort. Your body temperature started to rise upon the contact of his warm hand on your bare thigh. You know he meant nothing sexual by it, but the way he looked delicious in his sweats betrayed you and the fact that you haven’t been laid in a month wasn’t helping either. Shaking your head to remove the dirty thoughts, you sighed and bit your lip, “I really wasn’t gonna bid tonight, like I was going to let them fight over you because I know where our feelings stand, but when I saw Yuna stand up I just...God I don’t know.”

The corners of his lips started to curl up in a little smirk, scooching on closer to you as he put his arm around your figure, his other hand still on your thigh. “You felt a little jealous?” 

You could hear the smugness in his tone, but you couldn’t even deny it at this point. “I wanted to push her off the fucking platform.”

“I’m not gonna lie,” he said ghosting his lips against your neck. You shivered, the warm feeling of his breath making your body react almost immediately. Craning your neck so that he could get better access, you bit back a moan as he kissed at your sensitive spot, “you looked pretty sexy when you were fighting her.”

You scoffed, but let out a gasp as he pulled your hair to the side, biting your neck to make sure to leave a mark. “Jungkook, wait.”

In an instant, all his administrations stopped, respecting your words. You turned around in his hold, moving your legs to either side of his thighs, straddling the boy’s lap. His hands instantly found your waist, moving underneath his shirt to find access to your skin. You met his eyes, which held curiosity and concern. You gave a soft smile, moving one of your hands to play with his lightly damp hair. “Jungkook, I don’t want to be confused about our relationship anymore.” 

“Me neither.”

“I don’t want to feel jealous over girls that throw themselves at you. I don’t want to have to think twice about hugging you in public or holding your hand or kissing you. Kook, I want to be yours and have everyone else know it too. I wanna be able to call you my boyfriend.” You said letting it all go. “I know we both got out of traumatic breakups and like honestly thinking about being in a relationship and the possibility of getting broken like that again is scaring me even right now, like I don’t know what I’m saying I might talk myself out of this, fuck I don’t know-”

Jungkook leaned in and pressed your lips together, shutting you up effectively. You relaxed in the kiss, all feelings of anxiety that you brought up disappearing in an instant. Wrapping your arms around his neck, he made a sound of approval and pulled you flush against his chest. You whimpered at the feeling of his hardening bulge against your ass, moving your bottom back and forth to feel some friction. He groaned into your mouth and ground his hips up into yours, his bulge making contact with your core making you whine in pleasure.

Unwillingly, Jungkook pulled away before you both were too far gone, the grip he had on your waist tightening in sexual frustration. “Sorry, you were just really cute rambling, I couldn’t help myself.”

You were already breathing hard from the kiss, your hormones were starting to go haywire at all these interruptions, “Kook, I know we’re both hesitant about starting a new relationship, but I know that if it’s with you, I know that I wanna try.”

“Me too,” he agreed his expression switching from lustful to soft. His duality amazed you. “Can I finally call you my girlfriend now, y/n?”

You giggled and kissed his nose, the smile radiant on your face, “yes please.”

He laughed and flipped you both over so that he was topping you. He tickled your sides affectionately, his laughs raising in pitch as you squealed at his attack. “Now, my dick is hard and you’ve been turning me on since the auction, can I please fuck you? it’s been so long.”

You could already feel his hands grope the side of your breast. Instead of responding with words, you snuck your hand between the two of you and squeezed at his bulge, the man above you groaning in pleasure. Bless his grey sweatpants. It always had to do with his grey sweats.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The next morning, Jungkook never seemed to leave your side. Even as you were making coffee for the whole house, you found it rather endearing than clingy. You don’t know if the boys caught on yet, they probably should have by now.

“God you two are insatiable rabbits,” Yoongi groaned seeing you and Jungkook in the kitchen. He shot a pointed look at your boyfriend, “What the fuck did you take for you to go at it all night? Viagra? Ecstasy? Poppers?”

“Shut up hyung,” Jungkook said trying to hide the blush from his face by burying it in your neck. You patted his arm, “it’s okay, Kook.”

“Babe, he’s being mean to me.”

“Hold on. Babe?” Yoongi asked before slowly clapping his hands. “Thank fucking God finally!”

“Are they finally together?” Jimin yawned from the common area, the boys starting to fill the space in. You and Jungkook shared a look before he spoke to all his brothers.

“Not that we were really obligated to tell you guys, but yeah y/n and I are dating now.” Jungkook grinned hugging you tightly from behind. 

“Damn, it really took $1000 for you both to define the relationship,” Seokjin cackled as you glared at him. “It wasn’t just because of that, oppa please!”

“Well, guess that explains why they were fucking all night.” Namjoon said as Taehyung and Hoseok nodded in agreement.

“You still have to pay, y/n sorry.” Hoseok shrugged making you whine.

“I can’t believe you paid $1000 to go on a date with your boyfriend,” Taehyung snorted, the rest of the boys bursting out in laughter at the seemingly stupid fact, even your dumbass boyfriend was laughing too. You elbowed Jungkook’s stomach, groaning at the sad reality your wallet was about to face.

“I can’t believe I have to pay to go out with you,” You rolled your eyes. Jungkook smiled cheekily and wrapped his arms around you in a tight hug. He kissed your lips briefly, as if that would fix everything. Jungkook met your eyes with a flirty wink, “I’ll make sure it’s the best fucking date ever, babe. Don’t worry.” ______________________________________________________________

A/N Wow I finally finished this. Fun fact, I was inspired by an episode of Full House for this, but wow I’ve been craving on posting something for literally the longest time. I also have an exam in 5 hours and it’s 4:30 am right now ah ha ha but ~quAranTiNe VibEZ~ I hope you’re all staying safe and healthy everyone <3

[writeradamanteve]

So in case you were still interested in My Former Boss The Art Thief stories...

He told me one day that he’d sold a painting to a gentleman who was able to pay him in cash for part of the value, the rest of which was paid in boxes and boxes of color fans. Yes, like over two thousand of those. He asked me to find someone who would buy that shit in bulk so he could recoup the value of this so-called painting.

My face, you can imagine, was like

I guess at this point, I know that the painting story was bullshit in that he sold someone else’s painting, took what money he could get, and that he probably got this load from some other shady jackass, but at the time, all I was thinking was he had to have been stupid to accept this payment in kind.

So I go online, look for possible buyers, and in the end, the only thing I could find was the fact that people bought this shit individually, but enthusiastically. So I tell him I can put this up for sale on craigslist or something and market it online. We ship them out one at a time and he can make a boatload of profit. These things sold for over $150 a piece, and we can sell them at $50 and people would go crazy over them.

He looked at me like I was crazy and tells me, “Forget that! I’m not selling this piece by piece. Let me ask around.” So I shrug and let him.

Weeks, and then a couple of months go by and nothing. And I’m thinking he’s just a lazy asshole who isn’t going to do anything. At this point, he’s already stiffed me my salary twice, so I go to him and telll him I’ll buy a box from him and I’ll sell it individually. I asked him how much for a box and he told me $70 for the box. So I take it, sell it for $30 each and I make a PROFIT. I told him about this and he laughs and says to me, “Do you want to buy more boxes?”

I realize that this was his way of offloading this shit in bulk, but I’m not afraid of hard work, so I agree. I take more boxes. Keep in mind that I take the train to and from Queens and these boxes are at least 20 lbs each. I can only take two at a time, but I do that shit until he stiffs me one last time with my salary and I finally, absolutely quit.

Months pass and I remember him fondly. I call him and ask him how he’s doing and he invites me and my spouse for lunch—he said he’ll cook goat curry for us. I am a sucker for food, so since it was Christmas, we got him a shirt and cologne, wrap it, and go to his place. Don’t even ask me why I’m nice to this dude who wouldn’t pay me my wages. He was a nice guy and I thought he’s got a shittier life than I do. So we go and have lunch with him, talk about the paintings and sculptures. I realized he has moved into his gallery’s second floor. He is now living here.

After lunch and on our way out of the building, I see the boxes of color fans again and he hasn’t done a thing about it, so I ask him if I could buy some more of them—I can only grab about four, since that was as much cash as we had on us then.

He goes, “Get them all.”

And I go, “Brian, I don’t even have that money to spare.”

He said, “Don’t pay me. Take ‘em all for free. It’s junk.”

And I couldn’t believe it. I told him we can only fit so much in the trunk of our car so we’d have to come back for the rest and he tells us to come back in two weeks and we’d have lunch again.

You better believe the spouse and I hauled that shit. We went back for it two more times. We piled it high in our closet and it took up so much space that it was a fire hazard of sorts, but we were gonna sell that shit.

Friends, my spouse and I amassed $40,000 from selling that individually. It took us 5 years to sell all of it off, but it was easiest money we ever made. We actually still have a box of returns, but I think we decided not to resell those for sentimental reasons.

The last time we went to see Brian was in 2009, and that’s when he gave me the bronze eagle.

The next time I checked up on him, he was in jail.

[blackjack-15]

(Pachin)Koping Mechanisms, KuroSAWa, and Putting The Ring On It — Thoughts on: Shadow at the Water’s Edge (SAW)

Previous Metas: SCK/SCK2, STFD, MHM, TRT, FIN, SSH, DOG, CAR, DDI, SHA, CUR, CLK, TRN, DAN, CRE, ICE, CRY, VEN, HAU, RAN, WAC, TOT

Hello and welcome to a Nancy Drew meta series! 30 metas, 30 Nancy Drew Games that I’m comfortable with doing meta about. Hot takes, cold takes, and just Takes will abound, but one thing’s for sure: they’ll all be longer than I mean them to be.

Each meta will have different distinct sections: an Introduction, an exploration of the Title, an explanation of the Mystery, a run-through of the Suspects. Then, I’ll tackle some of my favorite and least favorite things about the game, and finish it off with ideas on how to improve it. For this meta and the next (CAP), I’ll have a section entitled “The Faerietale” where I break down the issue of genre within the game and how it adds to the experience.

If any game requires an extra section or two, they’ll be listed in the paragraph above, along with links to previous metas.

These metas are not spoiler free, though I’ll list any games/media that they might spoil here: SHA, SAW, MAJOR SPOILERS FOR SPY, GTH, Rashomon.

The Intro:

Full Disclosure: draft titles of this meta include “Yurei-sing the Tension” and “Using Your Girlfriend’s Mom’s Horrific Death For Fun and Profit”. They ultimately don’t fit the tone of the game (or the meta), but I thought they were fun…so you’re being subjected to them anyway.

Freshly out of the games of growing pains, Shadow at the Water’s Edge is the first of our two Faerietale Games, where we delve fully into Theme and Allegory and other such literary devices — which happen to support some pretty fine mysteries as well. As such, in case you didn’t see it above, both SAW and CAP will have a section diving into the Faerietale-ness of it all (partially because it’s That Interesting and partially to keep the intro section from being like 2k on its own).

SAW is interesting for a number of reasons (which I’ll go into throughout the meta) but one of the things that stuck out to me on a replay was how much it leans on Rashomon for its story about the past. For those unfamiliar, Rashomon is a Japanese film by Kurosawa Akira from the 50s that deals with the rape of a woman and the killing of her husband, a samurai, as told through four different points of view.

Nowadays called “a Rashomon episode” or “false flashback”, the idea of different, opposite points of view being shot and filmed to present to the audience is almost a cliché, but Kurosawa was the first to really bring it to film and to popular consciousness internationally.

Like in Rashomon, we’re presented with different views of the situation at the ryokan (including but not limited to Kasumi’s death) from our characters’ perspectives — and, like in Rashomon, no point of view nor opinion on what happened is ever confirmed to be the Honest Truth.

Was Kasumi’s death accidental, and on whose part was it accidental? Does the world stay the same inside the ryokan, or is it just as prone to change as the rest of the world? Is the ryokan a resort or a prison? Should you respect what your loved one wants for themselves, or is it your job to want something better for them? Takae, Rentaro, Miwako, Yumi, and even Kasumi all have different opinions on these questions, and we’re never told who’s correct, nor to what extent.

Finally, like Rashomon, the game is content with leaving a few answers undiscovered. While shooting the movie, Kurosawa was approached many times by the actors, who wanted to know what “really” happened in the movie — and each time he refused to say, wanting the story to be truly Alive in a way that it wouldn’t be if he answered their questions.

Nancy’s job is to expose the malevolent force in the game for what it is, not to heal the family, nor to make decisions for them.

And speaking of their decisions, let’s talk about what motivates our characters in this game. I know, this intro is already kind of long, and I normally keep this kind of talk for the Characters section, but given how much they intersect in this game, we’re gonna go into it here. All of our suspects here in the game are driven and informed by one thing: their coping mechanisms.

C’mon, no surprise here. It’s in the title of the meta for more than just the pun.

Because our suspects are living in the “Once Upon a Time” section of the faerietale — aka the past — it’s their coping mechanisms that drive them. Takae is driven by guilt over her daughter’s death and fear of a changing world; Miwako is driven by anger towards her family and personally-assumed responsibility over Everything That Happens; Rentaro is driven by selfish pride and concern over his loved one; Yumi is driven by avoidance and individualistic willpower.

These are all common when dealing with loss, and each of these tell us exactly how our characters are going to act throughout the tale. In a very real way, SAW is a game about how we, as humans, deal with the stories that we tell ourselves (another thing that it has in common with CAP), and how that changes the way that we perceive the world.

It’s the breakdown of Rentaro’s coping mechanism — his pride in always being correct — that causes him to Do Evil while claiming that it’s The Right Thing. Everyone else’s mechanisms are what allows for him to be as influential as he is; Kasumi is already haunting Takae, and Miwako is already feeling the world crash down around her. Even though the yurei is just wires and metal and Upsettingly Damp-Looking Hair, its presence in the ryokan isn’t physical – it’s psychological.

Remember, “a ghost doesn’t need to be real to haunt you”.

The Title:

Let’s be real here, we’re getting into the segment of Nancy Drew games where the (most of) titles just kick butt and aren’t afraid to do so. Like, Shadow at the Water’s Edge? Gives you creepy vibes right off the bat even without the yurei on the front giving you The Ring flashbacks. Properly atmospheric without being too specific, and “shadow” gives us the idea that we’re dealing with a monster that’s more ghostly, rather than flesh and blood.

I don’t even have anything negative to say about this title, that’s how good it is — plus, I mean, the acronym is literally “saw”. Awesome.

Let’s move on then to the faerietale behind the title.

The Faerietale

SAW and CAP both function, genre-wise, as a faerietale — a story with few characters, big pasts, legends and magic, and a moral at the end to tie things off. In both cases, interestingly enough, it’s our villain who gives us our “moral” — the Truth that ties the plot, history, and characters together, able to be said in a single sentence. In SAW, it’s this (rather chilling) statement from Rentaro that does it:

“A ghost doesn’t need to be real to haunt you.”

But let’s start at the beginning.

Like in a lot of faerietales, we have two sisters who are as different as can be, an inheritance (a ryokan rather than a crown or a prince), absent/dead parental figures, a wizened mentor related to our main characters (Takae), and a Monstrous Force opposing them and their ‘kingdom’. In this story, Nancy is the Dashing Outsider (not unlike the Prince from The Twelve Dancing Princesses) who vows to learn the secrets, defeat the monster, and save the kingdom, restoring balance to the ‘royal’ family and allowing them to prosper.

(And no, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that in this game Nancy’s the Knight in Shining Armor when CAP and Renate’s talk about them is right around the corner, but we’ll save that for next time.)

Having established that the game is a faerietale, let’s talk about why that actually matters (beyond the fact that it’s kinda cool in itself) when we’re looking at the game.

It basically matters for a handful of reasons: it allows us to figure out the suspect Fairly easily, it allows the writers to Allude to subject matters that are a little Dark for the E/E10 rating that Nancy Drew games normally get, and provides a bridge between the (overall) concrete games of the past and the more thematic, character-development-focused games that we’re coming up on. So let’s break that down.

Assigning our characters faerietale roles lets us see immediately that Rentaro is Missing an easy assignation. He doesn’t fit the prince, doesn’t fit a sibling — he doesn’t fit anywhere, in short, which is our first clue that he’s the villain.

Even ignoring the fact that the yurei is obviously mechanical, that Rentaro has free access to the entire ryokan in a way that no other character does, and that he’s responsible for upkeeping the ryokan (which is why it’s suspicious that he’s not the one Dedicated to figuring out the mystery) — which are all excellent things that point towards Rentaro, his absence in the faerietale points to a hidden role.

Since the only role worth hiding is either an 11th hour ally or a villain, and Rentaro is present from the beginning of the game, it’s pretty clear which one he is.

Situating the game as a faerietale also lets HER play with a few more themes than they normally can, given their target audience. Starting with a rather blatant implication of suicide, the game spins on to abusive relationships, overpowering guilt, and Nancy being, well, downright mean with her questions about a family member’s death.

While Nancy’s always been a bit insensitive, the mystery surrounding Kasumi’s death sends her into the realm of bullheadedly rude (to the point where you can get a game over for it). We see why this writing choice was made in SPY (which we’ll cover in that meta), but it’s one of my favorite things about this game; it takes a slight character trait of Nancy’s and gives it a character-driven purpose.

The last function of SAW (and CAP) as a faerietale is to provide a bridge between the older and the newer games. The older games tended to be self-involved entities: they began with Nancy’s room and ended with the letter to Carson/Hannah/Ned. As the game technology improved and the player base got older, however, that started to not be good enough; Nancy and her mysteries needed to become A World rather than simply a string of cases held together with a handful of familiar names and archetypes.

The first step towards this was the inclusion of the Hardy Boys back in our Expanded games, but it’s really SAW and CAP that show an Active Transition. Faerietales are often thought of, literarily speaking, as the bridge between children’s fiction and adult fiction; they involve simplistic plots and archetypes that children can easily grasp, but teach hard lessons about the world that adults will understand and resonate with.

The earlier Nancy Drew games, on the whole (there are of course a few exceptions), are largely concrete, like the children’s fiction they’re based on. The good and bad guys are simply and easily divided,  Nancy and co. are always the heroes and always do right, and the bad guys always go to jail.

The past few games leading up to SAW start to shift slightly; while generally our heroes and villains are still sharply divided, nothing is quite as simple as it seems (look at TOT, where at least a few bad guys get away and actually profit from their bad actions).

It’s here in SAW, however, where we see that take a sharp shift. Those who should be good guys (Rentaro is a Love Interest, he enjoys puzzles, he’s a ‘fixer’ by trade) aren’t good at all; those who should be the bad guys (Takae and Miwako behave a lot like early Nancy Drew villains with their cageyness, dislike of Nancy, and ability to get Nancy to Second Chance) really aren’t.

In case this point is a bit obtuse, Logan is the perfect example of what I mean.

In SHA, Charleena Purcell has a receptionist (well-voiced by JVS) that at first prevents you from talking to her, but isn’t much of an obstacle. It’s a cut and dried ‘solve this one puzzle’ and then Nancy can talk to the author as much as she chooses — it’s barely an impediment, honestly.

In SAW, we’re dealing with another famous author, who also has a receptionist — Logan Mitchell. Unlike the receptionist in SHA, who’s just Doing His Job and exists long enough for a puzzle, Logan is a rather spiteful character who enjoys hanging up on people, and does it to Nancy with Great Joy.

As a character, Logan matters; he has his own viewpoints, loyalties (that are explored in SPY as well), and his own idiosyncrasies that make dealing with him — repeatedly — a bit like dealing with people in real life. The receptionist in SHA isn’t a character, no matter how much I personally like JVS’ voice work with him. Logan is. And that’s a huge difference in the approach of the games and the shift from the concrete, insert-puzzle-and-go nature of the older games and the more abstract, thematic nature of the newer games.

Whether or not that’s a good thing is up to you, the player, and your personal preferences. But it can’t be denied that there is a shift, and it’s the genius of SAW (and CAP)’s genre-shift to a faerietale that does it.

The Mystery:

Our mystery picks up where TOT left off, with Krolmeister sending Nancy to one of his favorite ryokans in Japan as a thank you for her help in the previous case.

This is how we find out that Krolmeister is apparently Spooky AF, as the ryokan is haunted.

Nancy decides to pick up a job while she’s there (the ‘how’ of her obtaining employment and an E-2 visa so promptly is ignored) as an English teacher to some of the cutest (and one of the most disturbing) children in Japan, which is how she spends her days — and how the game gets away with it taking place Solely at night.

The more time Nancy spends at the ryokan, however — and the more people connected to it that she meets — the more that she suspects that the ryokan might actually be harboring a malevolent entity bent on wreaking havoc and shutting down the place once and for all…

As a mystery, the game is solid; you spent most of your time “on-site” at the ryokan, soaking in the very well-done atmosphere, with only a few moments in-game spent at other locations (such as the pachinko parlor, Yumi’s apartment, etc.), and the amount of work that went into every detail of the ryokan is staggering (especially the garden).

Normally, I wouldn’t hang so much on the atmosphere when talking about the plot, but it’s actually relevant here, since the atmosphere is part of the plot — i.e., is it the ‘atmosphere’ of the ryokan that makes the hauntings happen, and did the ryokan kill Kasumi.

Speaking of Kasumi, she’s one of the biggest open-ended mysteries in this game. Did Shimizu Kasumi kill herself, or was her death an accident, or was it caused by a Paranormal Entity, leading to her becoming a ghost herself?

The game tells us how Kasumi died — cleaning a bath that she had never cleaned before, leading to her drowning — but the circumstances outside of her death like her will and her premonitions about her death speak less to an accident alone and more towards Something causing her death.

In my own point of view, Kasumi — remember, this is the Nancy Drew Universe, where ghosts are actually real — had a bit of Prescient Awareness to her, and knew that her death was coming, though not by what. While there’s evidence towards her knowing about her death that could, if looked at in that light, lead one to suspect Kasumi of suicide, it’s unexpectedly hard to kill yourself via drowning in a shallow body of water. Add to that her future plans, and I think it’s pretty safe to assume that Kasumi knew she would die, but she didn’t plan and execute a suicide.

Of course, there’s good arguments to be made on the other side. Whichever way you look at it, I’m just happy with the presence of loose ends, as that’s not the mystery that Nancy’s there to solve — and, indeed, without the presence of an actual suicide note from that period, is a mystery that simply cannot be solved.

The Suspects:

We’ll start with (and yes, the names will all be in Japanese rather than Western order) Shimizu Miwako, the Younger Daughter in our faerietale and the current force behind the ryokan.

As the one (via a faerietale’s rules) destined to succeed, Miwako sure does get the short end of the stick when it comes to her relationships. Her causing/contributing/worsening the rift between herself and Yumi aside, her boyfriend is actively sabotaging her and her grandmother doesn’t think she should be the one running the ryokan, no matter how good a job she does.

As a culprit, however, Miwako would have been a bit confused, given how much she likes the ryokan and the good job she does with it. For a Miwako ending to make sense, she would have had to been influenced by an actual ghost, sabotaging the ryokan without wanting to and having your usual blackouts that come with Psychic Interference. It would have been interesting, but out of the faerietale genre (and out of the Nancy Drew game genre as a whole) and thus not a very good story.

Next up is the Elder Daughter, Shimizu Yumi, who left the ryokan as soon as she could and instead sells bento boxes in Kyoto. Framed as a sort of free spirit, Yumi doesn’t see any need for her to run the ryokan and instead does something that she likes and is obviously very successful at.

As a culprit, Yumi would have, to be frank, been a major disappointment. Already taking fire from her little sister and her grandmother for the Abject Sin of not taking on the family business, Yumi would have been way to easy, both character-wise and tonally for the game as a whole. The Elder Daughter in a faerietale is usually the one who fails (the Youngest Daughter almost always succeeds), and so it’s refreshing to have everyone but herself consider Yumi a failure.

Their grandmother and quasi-mentor, Nagai Takae, is the other person who helps run the ryokan — much to her displeasure, as tradition dictates that Yumi, not Miwako, help run the family business.

Because someone who resents being there will definitely be a much better worker in the hospitality market than someone who loves the ryokan.

Takae has absolutely no head for anything but her own ideas and clings onto tradition not for its sake, but because change is scary, hard, and (in the case of her daughter’s death) heartbreaking.

As a culprit, Takae would have been interesting, but absolutely impossible — unless she was working with someone else. And as interesting as a Takae/Rentaro team-up would have been, Takae simply has no motive for scaring everyone else out. She needs the ryokan to survive, to do well, if she’s going to be able to cling on to the things that she wants.

Rounding out our main faerietale cast is our Malevolent Force, Aihara Rentaro, the ryokan’s handyman and tech expert, who secretly builds robots resembling his girlfriend’s dead mother and uses them to scare people out of the ryokan.

He’s a peach.

Not only is Rentaro our only option for a faerietale ending, but he’s also just the best option for the culprit in general. Handy enough to build a “ghost”, expected in any place in the ryokan without suspicion, and with a strong (if dickish) motive). Like all Evil Wizards/Malevolent Forces in faerietales, he wants to ruin the kingdom and steal away the Daughter — though, unlike a lot of faerietales, he’s convinced himself it’s For Her Own Good.

Which yeah is super gross, but hey, he’s our Villain. Villains should be a bit gross.

Lastly, we’re going to look at two characters who are inseparable from one another for the purposes of discussion: Savannah Woodham and her assistant Logan Mitchell.

Savannah (as we meet her in SAW) is a former ghost hunter who now writes about technology (hence her presence in Kyoto) who mentioned the ryokan in a book about the paranormal. Not being fond of interruptions, she pays Logan to be her assistant so that he can deal with the calls that she gets.

She also brings in a nice little easter egg talking about CAP, where Castle Finster is implied to be the castle she mentions in SAW.

As a character in the Nancy Drew world (as it becomes a world), Savannah is an odd presence, in that she’s a sage without being an academic. Most of the ‘authorities’ that Nancy calls for information are professors, researchers, etc., but Savannah doesn’t quite fall into that designation.

Sure, she’s written a book, but ghost hunting isn’t exactly a…respected profession or topic — and yet, Savannah is clearly the smartest person in the game (and one of the smartest people that Nancy encounters as phone friends). This is great — Nancy herself is no academic, and I do get tired of the prioritizing of Academia over actual knowledge.

Savannah also gets the best lines, and her VA absolutely smashes it out of the park. I’ll talk more about her as the Nancy Games (beginning in ASH), as a lot of her dialogue is foreshadowing for our next games, but suffice it to say that, other than the Hardy Boys and the Drews, Savannah probably fights only Alexei for the most significant NPC in the ND universe.

Her assistant is no slouch in the Significance department, though.

MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR SPY AHEAD, IF YOU DON’T WANT THEM SKIP UNTIL THE NEXT ALL-CAPS PARAGRAPH.

Logan (according to him) started working for Savannah to make some money during spring break and found the job too weird to quit once break was done (according to him). He loves hanging up on people, resulting in Savannah referring to him as her “lil’ Georgia bulldog”, and would like to go out on a date with Bess (according to him).

Yeah, pretty much everything about Logan should be taken with a grain of salt, as he’s the one who tells it to us, and…well, Logan is a spy. A spy who’s assigned to Nancy at least as far back as SAW, who gets close to her friend(s) and reports back to Cathedral that Nancy’s obsessed with her mother’s death and thus will probably be used by those who want to know Kate Drew’s secrets.

He ‘fires’ Savannah from being his boss prior to GTH because his work is done; he’s completed the mission he’s been assigned and is now working on other things. Logan isn’t a ghost hunter, nor a receptionist, nor a guy who wants to take Bess out on a date — until he needs to be. Like any good spy, Logan is all things to all people, and it’s his tiny bit of backstory in SPY (easily missed if you’re not paying attention — remember, in Nik games especially there’s no such thing as “optional reading” — that makes him so significant in SAW.

SPOILERS END HERE, YOU’RE ALL GOOD TO CONTINUE.

The Favorite:

There’s a lot to love about SAW, so let’s dive right in.

The first thing I’ll mention, because I just mentioned it, is Logan, who is one of my favorite parts of the Nancy Drew universe, let alone this specific game. His VA is great, his dialogue is great, his character is great — he ticks all the boxes, and I love it.

Savannah is, of course, also a favorite; any game with Savannah in it automatically moves it up a few clicks in my estimation. Savannah (and sage-type characters like her) is where Nik’s writing really shines, and her dialogue is always a joy to read and hear.

My favorite moment is actually a tiny moment, despite it being the titular incident: the shadow at the water’s edge. It’s easy to miss, but when Nancy looks in the bath and sees Kasumi’s shadow for that split second…it’s the haunting that games like HAU and CUR really wanted to have — subtle, upsetting, and fully within the bounds of the Laws of Haunting that the ND universe has set up.

My favorite puzzle is hands-down the bento boxes. Longtime readers of this meta series (which will be two years old this summer!) will know that there’s nothing that I like better than a good logic puzzle, and the bento boxes are a great logic puzzle. It’s fun, cute, and I love that you can do it as much as you want.

I do love, lastly, that this game is a faerietale. Having read and analyzed faerietales for a good portion of my life, it’s nice to see that niche interest represented within another niche interest.

The Un-Favorite:

There are a few things in SAW that I really don’t like, as much as I think this game is great.

The most important is my least favorite puzzle: the frame puzzle. This puzzle is one of the few puzzles that actually make me white-out in Rage and refuse to play further, which is a problem given that SAW is actually a great game and I enjoy playing it. It honestly stops me from replaying the game as often as I really should, given its significance to the ND universe, and for how just good it is. I usually make my sister or my best friend play it for me, but I do actually have to leave the room while they do it because it infuriates me that much.

My least favorite moment in the game is a little different, given how good the game actually is; it’s the very end where, depending on the choice that Nancy makes, Rentaro’s apology is accepted by Miwako. Sure, Nancy says it’s unlikely that they’ll date again, but this is a case where the choice to tell on him or have him tell himself should result in the same result: him having to leave. Handymen aren’t thin on the ground, and the ryokan needs help, rather than the same toxic influence that helped bring it down in the first place.

While I appreciate the choice for Nancy impacting the end — I really do — it should say more about Nancy as a character than it should about Miwako and Rentaro. That it doesn’t is a failure in storytelling at the 11th hour, which is a shame in a game this good.

The Fix:

So how would I fix Shadow at the Water’s Edge?

First things first, I would obviously change the frame puzzle a bit. I don’t think it needs removed per se, but I would definitely shift it. Give an option to skip it, perhaps, or make it easier the more time you spend on that screen, or make it easier if you go in and out of it a few times. Heck, even having it reset when you back out (or having a reset button) would be better, since getting stuck in the puzzle results in Hours of Frustration.

Other than that, I would only change the ending choice. Like I said above, the choice is great, but it should be changed to show us exactly who Nancy is (not unlike the choice in GTH). Is Nancy the kind of person who would not trust Rentaro to tell himself and thus does it, or is Nancy the kind to give him just enough rope to hang himself?

Either way, we’re given a view of Nancy that we’ll see more and more — that she is not always kind, nor infallible, nor impartial. She lets her feelings interfere with her cases, and while sometimes that’s good (again, GTH is a prime example), sometimes the only impact her choices need to have on her is to show us her character.

All in all, Shadow at the Water’s Edge is a good, mature look at the Nancy Drew universe, and continues the thread of connecting case-to-case. While it’s ultimately imperfect, I believe it’s not only one of the most fun games to play through, but also to consider in the larger realm of Nancy Drew games and in adaptation of genre altogether.

[dorevenge]

where ignorance is bliss - chapter 9: although you know

SUMMARY: Anton shows his true colors when the arc reactor development isn't going as smoothly as planned. [AO3 LINK]

CHAPTERS: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 [9] 10 11 12 13 14 15 ☆

June 14, 1967 – Los Angeles, California, Stark Industries Headquarters

“I’ve told you already, Anton, we don’t need Roxxon’s help!”

“It’s been four years; the Unity Project isn’t going anywhere!” Anton fires back at Howard. They’ve been fighting the same fight over and over, and everyone else in the lab is used to tuning it out by now. They haven’t agreed on anything all summer, like a couple of rams constantly butting heads.

“Rome wasn’t built in a day, Red, and it sure wasn’t built in four years. Hell, only five years ago Kennedy said we were gonna get man on the moon, and it’s gonna happen, it’s just gonna take time.”

“We choose to go to the moon, but you haven’t yet!” Anton replies sarcastically. I slink back further in my chair, watching the two of them go at it again in the laboratory. Howard and I were going to go out to lunch together before the two of them picked up the same argument again. “The Lunik 9 did it last year, but we Russians also know when to give up. We proved it’s possible. You can’t prove the arc reactor is possible. Americans don’t know how to stop fighting.”

Howard shakes his head, laughing, but not out of humor. “I’ve been at this for over two decades, and inventing since I was 6. I know when something’s not gonna work, and when it’s gonna work and just needs some time. You think the Stark Industries empire happened on accident? No! It took time. If I gave up on it like you did, no one in this room would be here.”

“It’s taking time we don’t have. There’s so many other things we can be focusing on, more pressing issues, more profitable projects.”

“We? Get that word out of your mouth, Anton. You haven’t been a team player. Since day one, you were only looking out for yourself, even when we fought tooth and nail for you, defending your name that you weren’t a Commie, protecting you from the Feds, and for what?” Howard stops to catch his breath; he is about to turn 50 in a couple months, and the years have crept up on him. “For you to give up because it’s hard? Life’s hard, buttercup, so put on your big boy pants and strap in.”

Anton sets his work down forcefully. “That’s it, Stark. I’ve had enough.” He grabs his briefcase and packs it hastily, snapping it shut with a tone of finality. “Consider this my two weeks’ notice, and I’ll be taking two weeks of vacation starting tomorrow.” Anton makes for the door with a hurry.

“Like hell you are. Open your briefcase, Anton,” Howard stalks towards him. Obadiah runs to catch up to Howard.

“Act rationally, Howard,” Obadiah warns.

“In the years you’ve known me, have I ever acted rationally once, Obadiah? Anton, your briefcase.” Howard sticks his hand out, like a petulant child expecting a treat. With his other hand, he motions to the security guards, who place themselves between Anton and the door silently.

Anton stands indignantly, insulted. “I will not be treated like a criminal. I gave up everything to move to the United States, to work with the Scientific Strategic Reserve, to work with S.H.I.E.LD., and this is what I get? Back home, I was a genius, and I was treated like one. The disrespect in this facility is preposterous.”

“What are you hiding, Anton?” Obadiah steps forward, in front of Howard. “Show us your briefcase. If you have nothing to hide, you’d show us, and we’ll let you leave. No hard feelings.”

“I will show you nothing.” Anton is tense, every muscle in his body engaged, ready to decide in a split second whether to fight or flee. I can almost see his pulse rising, his nostrils flare and eyebrows settle deeper into his face. Before Howard can move closer, Anton turns and sprints, right into the arms of the two guards. His speed connects with their strength and knocks Anton flat on his back, his briefcase crashing from his grip and falling open on the floor. Papers fly out across the lab, some landing at my feet. Anton tries to get to his feet and is kept down by the guards. The first paper I pick up has a familiar name.

“Why are you sending telegrams to Giulietta Nefaria?” I ask. “Are you working with Roxxon?”

“I worked there for a short while before working with you,” Anton stammers.

I look down at the telegram.

RECEIVED

June 12, 1967

To: Vanko, A.

A., Thank you for the updated plans. Our recreations are coming along well, but we’ll need your help in the lab soon. Are you free next week?

NEFARIA, G.

“I don’t believe that for a second. Look at the date.” I hand Howard the telegram, then go to his desk to phone the S.H.I.E.L.D. office. I quickly relay the situation to the agent on the other end while keeping an eye on the situation.

Howard reads the telegram, then looks up, heartbroken. I watch the realization hit him, the tiniest movements of his muscles showing how devastated he is. “Updated plans? June twelfth? Roxxon was the one who hit our house that Christmas, weren’t they? Anton, you were working with them while you’re working with us.” Kneeling, Howard sifts through the rest of the papers on the floor, Obadiah helping him, and they find copies of blueprints and sketches of models, with detailed notes, all of their research of the arc reactor and the Unity Project ready to be handed off to the enemy.

“You son of a bitch,” Obadiah says under his breath, taking in the evidence.

The S.H.I.E.L.D. agents arrive at the Stark Industries office a few moments later, Colonel Chester Phillips leading the charge. Being a founder of the organization helps with speed and urgency, making Howard a high priority. Phillips takes our stories as Anton is further restrained, ready to be taken in for questioning. Agents collect the papers and briefcase, as well as anything else on Anton’s desk.

“Anton… What have you done?” I ask softly.

“How much?” Howard asks Anton, still laying on the ground, seething. “How much did you sell us out for? How could you do this?”

“I did what any man would do in my position. Don’t act so shocked, Howard. You should know better than anyone. It’s all about money.” Anton struggles against the arms of the guards. He has a bruise just starting to form under his right eye, and his lip is split and bleeding. “It’s always about money.”

“We’re rounding up Vanko’s family in town now,” says Phillips. “Don’t worry, Howard. We’ll take care of things from here.”

“What are you going to do with him?” I ask Phillips.

“Most likely send him back to Russia. Depending on what he’s done with these blueprints, he could be tried for treason, espionage, aiding and abetting. At the very minimum, he’s looking at a handful of charges and a lifetime of misery,” Phillips says, finishing his report. “He got his shot at the American dream and blew it to hell.”

Anton is escorted out of the building, spitting curses in Russian all the way out, and Howard dismisses the other inventors in the office, calling it a day. His shoulders slump with defeat, staring out the window, and Obadiah tries his best to turn the situation around.

“I know that must’ve been tough, Howard,” Obadiah says genuinely. “But that guy was a crook. What choice did you have? You took that commie under your wing, you let him into your home.”

“Obadiah…” I say quietly, I’m not sure he hears me. The lesson has been learned, and enough is enough.

“I know this cuts closer to the bone because of your belief in the arc reactor and your plans for the expo. I’m just saying, maybe you should take this incident as some sort of sign. Maybe we’re too far ahead of our time, and everyone else needs to catch up to us.” He places a hand on Howard’s shoulder. “I’m here for you. Just like I’ve always been. But let’s just get back to doing what we do best, huh? Let’s change the world, Howard.”

The next week, Stark Industries holds a press conference, led by Obadiah, announcing they are doubling down on the fight against Communism, promising their aid will turn the tide for the Vietnam War and the Cold War, and that their weapons division will more than triple their production output as a testament to their patriotism. Howard’s words from three years ago ring in my head, “Think about the children we’ll have someday, the legacies we’ll leave them with, the world they’ll be born into – that’s our priority,” and I feel sick to my stomach, unable to picture what that world will look like.