Tumgik
#they were doomed from the start and will be in every universe....
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player!killer and anomaly!dust
since these ideas have been invading my brain lately, i feel like i need to ramble about the toxic (doomed) kist potential they have.
imagine the game world of dusttale trying to correct itself ever since the anomaly/virus that is killer entered it. so things in the world start to glitch and don't make sense. a character repeats their lines over and over without stopping. shortcuts stop working properly. character stats inexplicably get messed up. goners start appearing to warn dust and killer about the end of the world. it's nearing its doomed timeline trajectory, and yet dust will not give up trying to salvage his universe. in his mind, there's one surefire way to get everything back to normal: exterminate the virus that is killer.
dust and killer (and the goners and the almagamates) are not affected by the glitches because they are anomalies, glitches detached from the world already. to killer, this means enlightenment and freedom. he doesn't understand dust's attachment to the underground, his dogmatic beliefs about justice and the greater good for the monsters. doesn't dust want to ascend to be something "real", rather than the npcs that the rest of the monsters are? doesn't he want to escape from the control of the player? why would he want to obey to the whims of a dying, boring, constricting world anyway? if dust can't see it, then killer will make him see.
the thing is, dust is a difficult monster to persuade. sure, killer can kill him again and again (chances are 50/50 on who will win anyway). but dust always bounces back, more vindicated in his retaliation and belief that killer needs to be gone. the thing is, when you want to break someone down, you need to be the thing they fear the most. killer is already that, isn't he? he's a future of a sans, of dust's own past. this is what dust could have become. killer is what dust has become - a sans doing the work of the no-mercy player.
"aren't you bored of doing the same thing over and over again? aren't you crazy from repeating all these useless cycles only to reach the same conclusion again and again?... oh wait, you already are!"
and dust - what can he say to all that? is it true? is it not? who cares - the only satisfaction he can have is wiping that smirk off that face. killer knows intimately beings like dust - not only because they were the same person at some point, but also because dust is a control freak with a savior complex as well as survivor's guilt. deep down inside, dust cannot fathom losing. he has poured too much, sacrificed too much, to get this far. and he won't stop - not until he reaches his happy ending, which will never come. so he'll forever be stuck down here, repeating his worst nightmares again and again in a hell of his own making.
the only variable in dust's life is killer. gradually, dust treats killing other monsters as a job - an important yet thankless job that someone has to do. the only kill in which he feels something is of his brother... and killer. with killer, dust is filled with something - maybe it's joy, maybe it's hate, it's hard to tell when apathy is his usual state.
and the thing is, the opposite of love isn't hate. it's the lack of love - it's apathy. he feels something for killer - an attachment, an obsession, a possessiveness. "only i get to kill him", "he's my kill", that's what dust thinks. he rationalizes that thinking of course - killer reminds of him too much of himself, the person he hates the most. but there's that fear every time he kills killer - fear that killer will never come back, leaving dust with his empty broken world and voices in his head. and he fears killer will know it, somehow.
for killer, it's always a game to see who's the winner and who's the loser. it's a struggle for control, with the controller and the controlled. and with the player gone, dust should belong to him now. an eternal playmate, after everyone else has disappeared from his life. and like, it's totally therapeutic to beat up and mess with the guy who reminds you of yourself, right? totally not a self-esteem issue waiting to be explored or anything at all. it's funny how much they match. "look, we both wear red!" exclaims killer as he points to his own red soul and dust's red iris. determination pulls them together, and determination will break one of them in the end, and it's not going to be him. he'll persevere once this world rots away, while dust will be trapped by his own volition.
maybe, just maybe, he'll whisk dust away once the end comes. and they'll find another playground to re-enact their play again. killer will take and take and take, until all they are is dust.
Oh, I will ruin you It's a habit - I can't help it
I will only break your pretty things I will only wring you dry of everything And if you're fine with that If you're fine with that
22 notes · View notes
janeya · 19 days
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everytime i think about them i cry
156 notes · View notes
watanabes-cum-dump · 8 months
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Haurchefant: Maybe in another lifetime, my love.
WOL: That's not fair. I want you in this one.
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saintobio · 1 month
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LUCIFER.
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his fall was not from grace, yet in his descent, he found freedom—a kingdom of his own making, where he rules not with light, but with the shadows it casts. and you, unfortunate soul, are the sin that fuels his eternal reign.
♱ genre. gothic, dark romance, smut, angels/demons au, 18+
♱ pairings. sylus, fem!reader
♱ tags. 5.2k wc. this fic will contain dark and twisted themes. please heed the warnings and proceed with proper discretion. demon!sylus, sylus is ooc, not set in lads universe, profanity, heavy sacrilege/blasphemy, catcalling, sadistic undertones, noncon/dubcon, toxic relationships, corruption, sex in church, dacryphilia, mentions of obsession, allusions to stockholm syndrome, yandere, fingering, unprotected sex, explicit smut.
♱ notes. this is an old rewritten/reimagined fic of mine bcos i saw a theory abt sylus being a demon. and coincidentally, rewatching a season of lucifer only made my brain rot tenfold D; so if you've seen me post this fic before with another character, pretend you didn't >:D
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Thunder grumbled as a flash of lighting struck through the dark blanket of twilight skies. The rumbling sound angrily resonated through the stretch of clouds as if the heavens were to wash away human sins that have long been plaguing this era of the 21st century. A shower of rain soon followed that started in huge droplets and later cascaded from the slate gray clouds like waterfall. 
Checking your old leather watch, it was only 6PM. It had been two hours since the power outage doomed the whole neighborhood because the utility poles were severely damaged after the hurricane ravaged the city yesterday. 
The thick soles of your boots landed heavily on the tessellated sidewalk with every step, holding your umbrella closer to seal you from the heavy rainfall. Your eyes followed the beads of rain that bounced off the cold cement as your mind wandered further than where your body could take you to. 
You had left Sylus sleeping in bed back in your shared apartment so you could walk around the city and drop by the church. It wasn’t like you sneaked out, but was only reluctant to let him know of your whereabouts because you didn’t want him to follow you around, especially to such a scared place like church. Before you left, however, you did ensure that his silver cross was still enclosed around his collar just for your sanity. 
It had been a while since you last visited the church. With the power out and nothing else to do, you decided it was the perfect time to visit the cathedral where you always made your most solemn prayers.
The streets were still in shambles, though. Road signages were sprawled on the sidewalk, branches were barely hanging off the trees—the city had vestiges of wreckage from the hurricane that emptied a usually busy metropolitan area today. Most people were still at the leisure of their homes as work and classes have been suspended until further notice, for everyone’s safety and to allow the government to clean the roads. 
You could already imagine Sylus shaking his head at your resistance to just stay indoors and simply be with him. The only reason you were confident to leave his side today was because it had been awhile since the last incident. You could live with the thought of coming back home to Sylus and his usual self. Sylus, who was always thoughtful and tenderhearted albeit his dominant exterior. Never did you think that you could land a man of such warmth—a year in two days—but how you met was a story made for another day. 
Amidst the already dismal atmosphere outside, stepping by the narthex inside the baroque church greeted you with an even more caliginous surrounding. Darkness enshrouded the interiors of your chosen place of worship with only as much as three paschal torches by the apse to light up the altar. Still, with God’s presence, your feet carried you in slow footsteps along the velvet red aisle as you made your way towards the nave. 
You were alone in the eerie cathedral, but fear did not consume as you were in attendance to the crucifix above the high altar. This was your favorite cathedral among all the others in the city simply because of its gothic Victorian architecture.
Fixed with the cathedral’s grandeur and bedight with ornate decorations, you became more comfortable at situating yourself by the pew—genuflecting on the elevated wood behind the stretch of oak benches as soon as you found your usual spot. 
“In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,” you whispered in sotto voce, performing a sign of the cross with your eyes glued to the crucifix that represented Jesus Christ. You had your elbows propped atop the bench as you silently prayed. 
Loving and gracious God, with all love and mercy, we thank you for blessing us with another day and protecting us in times of natural disaster. 
You wanted to ignore the unusual cold air that slithered on your skin in horripilation. Your prayer resumed despite the Stygian gloom that darkened the cathedral’s interior or the sound of the harsh wind slamming through the towering doors by the vestibule. The storm is coming again, you mentally noted. 
With your grace and kindness, Lord, I pray that you will continue to guide us—
The manly fleer echoing through the vacantness of the church made you halt from your recital. “I knew my cute church girl would be here.” 
You knew that devilish voice all too well that it had you shutting your eyes, petrified. No wonder the air felt sinister. But if your gut-feeling about him was right, then there was no need to be frightened. “Sylus, I’m in the middle of a prayer,” you hushed, although before you could turn around to face his silhouette, he had already transported to your side with a wicked smile plastered on his pallid face. 
“I’m not him,” he spoke in an orotund voice, stepping closer and closer. His ash blond hair did not hide his incarnadine eyes. “Stop looking for that runt when you’re with me.” 
You stepped out of the pew with a rapid heartbeat, standing by the aisle as the tall man towered over you. “S-Sylus, where’s your—” you searched for his silver cross and found it still hanging around his neck, “did you break it?” 
He glowered at your accusation. “You know I would if I could, sweetie.” 
You exhaled a deep sigh. This was not Sylus, this was the malevolent demon inside of him. You ought to be cautious of yourself. “Okay, well... Leave me alone. I’m praying.”
“Ordering me around?” Each step that he took reverberated across the cathedral. He stretched his head from side-to-side in a manner that showed his ennui. “Don’t you miss me, kitten?” 
There was no stopping to the loud thumping of your heart as you stood along the aisle with Sylus backing you off further to the center. “Sylus, I said not now,” you begged, but he refused to listen and only wiped his lower lip with his thumb. 
“I hate it when you make me wait,” he muttered, stepping forward until your lower back hit the credence table at the altar. You found yourself trapped in a decreasing distance between yourself and the sadistic devil in front of you. “Don’t look so scared. We do this every time.” 
“I’m not scared, but...” Your voice was getting softer, yet filled with fret. You pressed a hand on his chest as he locked your body with both arms around the table. “Please, not here.”
You had to be firm, you just had to be but you couldn’t muster the courage to fight back in Sylus’s presence. He was the embodiment of power and you were the representation of weakness. 
He was a demon that thrived on sin, and he drew strength from indulging in the seven deadly sins. Vainglory, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, sloth—all of those fueled his existence. Today, however, it was the third sin that consumed him, the one that ignited his darkest sexual desires. 
“I’ll be quick,” he bargained, undoing the upper buttons of your dress despite your failed attempts at pushing him away. Doing it at such a place! You sent him a glare but he only returned a sly smile. “How about we show your God what you’re really like underneath that maidenly exterior, hm? Show him how dirty you really are?”
God, help me. You desperately shook your head, now overthinking if someone could see what he was about to do to you in this holy sanctuary. Long before you could cover your chest, he already pinned your wrist on the side as he lowered the fabric to show your collar. “Sylus—!”
“Don’t be shy, kitten,” the whisper he sent through the shell of your ear caused shivers to your spine. With his heightened senses, he placed his mouth on your ear, “No one’s here to watch us except for your God. Be a good girl now.”
You tried to push him once more to no avail as he sucked on the flesh above your shoulder. There was no warning to prepare you from the sudden harsh suction. “I-It hurts!” 
Your nails dug into your palms to leave crescent marks on your flesh while you were squirming out of his strict hold. 
“It hurts? Good.” He continued to leave marks all over your flesh as he caged your waist around his arm. The feeling of his teeth pricking your skin had you whimpering in pain, and his eyes had grown rutilant when he momentarily pulled away to look at you. “You’ll hurt even more,” and then he erupted into a deep chuckle as if you were a meal that he was seasoning with a sprinkle of fear, “I should really just keep you for myself.” 
Your desire to breathe grew exponentially. “I’m not yours.” 
A low sneer and a dissatisfied ego had you pressed against the oak table in surprise. “Yes, you are,” he reiterated as though he was enforcing the idea in your head. “Your soul, your heart, your body—you are mine.” 
“I’m not! I wasn’t born in this world to be your property,” you protested, pulling away from his grip only to be slammed harsher on the table. You knew you should never anger a demon but his possessive nature irked you. Aside from your already shameful situation, you wanted nothing but to get away from him. “You’re evil.” 
“What makes you so brave? Your beliefs?” he gritted, reaching for an object near your head that turned out to be the Bible. “This?” he quickly opened the sacred handbook and ripped the pages in front of your very eyes with a distasteful smile. How easily he ripped it, how easily he also tossed it. “Whatever, then. There’s no God. You humans are complete idiots for worshiping a nonexistent being. Weren’t you the ones saying that I’d burn as soon as I stepped into a church?” 
“He is your father!” You sat back up, revolted by his blasphemy. He had no right to mock God like this. “Don’t taint my beliefs with yours. My faith in Him is stronger than you think.” 
“You should know what it’s like to be in hell before you say that shit,” he retorted, placing his lips back on your ear, “I’ll take you there with me.” 
This is not the time and place! What a shameful situation he was putting you through, so unbelievably shameful and obscene that you couldn’t look at him in the eyes. “Sylus, I swear. I’m going home if you’re gonna keep on—”
He huffed, showing boredom by dismissing you with a wave of his hand. “Ah, fine. You’re boring. Continue the prayer, then.”
For one of two things; first, Sylus would never let you off easily. Every act of defiance would garner you a punishment. Second, he was a time bomb. You never knew when his most cruel intentions would come to show. He was a malefic being that wouldn’t give two shits about where he was as long as he was having fun at torturing your soul. 
You should have known that when you chose to finish your prayer back at the pew. Sylus would simply not last long enough to just sit by your side in his apathy. 
“Holy Father, please forgive us for our sins—”
He snorted in ill-humor. “Pitiful.” 
And while you sat there looking up at the crucifix, Sylus’s hand was already sneaking its way under your skirt. His icy fingers traced your inner thighs until he reached your center, and that was when you finally grabbed his wrist to stop him with wide, scandalized eyes. Was anyone on the qui vive to see you right now? 
“Sylus, for heaven’s sake,” you hissed, pulling his wrist away but his slender fingers were already coordinating motions against your clothed core. You had to look around in panic lest there be any unknown audience peeking from the shadows. Despite your refusal to submit, the contact was eliciting suppressed moans out of your parted lips. “Y-You’re insane. This isn’t the place.” 
His smile was full of triumph and excitement, his right eye glowing ominously he spoke. “What makes it different?” he asked, raising your skirt and inserting his fingers inside your underwear. You had to press your lips together as soon as he started rubbing his fingers on your clit. “See, you enjoy the fuck out of it. I can see through your deepest desires, kitten. It’s telling me… ‘don’t stop’.” 
Your palm was pressed on his chest while his other hand tried to spread your legs open. The very position you were in—leaned on the wooden bench, legs spread apart, and being fingered in the presence of God—you were certainly going to hell. This was going against your belief, having your chastity corrupted in arrant disgrace by a man who was the devil himself. 
How exactly did you find yourself in this predicament? You came here to offer a quick prayer, not to be pressed on the bench by a man who was now unbuckling his belt in haste. You could only think of how Sylus, who was an angel beyond his demons, was perhaps trying to come out of being trapped in the dungeon where Satan had him caged.
“This is so wrong,” your lips quivered as you spoke, both of the curling of your toes and of the shameless sacrilegious act. You knew you couldn’t stop this no matter how hard you tried because Sylus would remain tenacious until he got what he wanted. 
With that, you fully submitted yourself to him and let the back of your head rest on the wooden surface while you stared at the stained glass that roofed the cathedral in different hues. 
Sylus was fast to display a smirk while positioning his hardened length on your entrance. The bands of your underwear were now resting mid-thigh as he pressed himself down on you with one knee supporting the angle of his hips. He was running his throbbing tip between your plump folds to lubricate himself with your slick. No screams could be released because you restrained your own whimpers, but your tears brimmed on the corner of your eyes from the initial penetration. 
“Ngh!” Your nails dug deep on his forearms. “S-Sylus!” 
“Are you crying?” His carmine eyes glinted of sadistic humor, running his gelid thumb across your lower lip only to sink it deep inside your mouth. “How does it feel knowing that the God you worship can’t save you?” 
A tear slid down from your eyes to your temple as Sylus started moving his hips in an achingly slow rhythm, each thrust going deeper than the last. You almost bit his thumb before he released your mouth by gripping your wrist. “Sylus—someone could see—!”
To your irony, the crucifix stared down at you and enkindled your conscience from this sinful act. Father, forgive me. You could only whisper those words in your head because your mouth was too occupied in crying out Sylus’s name.
“So warm.” It was hard not to think of how attracted he looked when he raked his fingers through his hair, later meeting your eyes with overpowering lust. He didn’t hold back at burying his cock into your cavern, allowing your walls to fit his girth like tight gloves—the feeling garnering his raspy grunt. “You’re mine, sweetie. All mine.” 
Sylus. You blinked your tears away as you closed your eyes. Sylus’s lips were now on your neck as he increased the pace of his member sliding in and out of your cunt with squelching noises that shamelessly echoed across the cathedral. “Sylus,” your lips were on his ear, “we’re in—aah—church.”
Unlike you, he was nonchalant about the sacredness of the house of God. He was mocking the supreme being that you held faith to as an act of engraving his existence into your mortal soul. While you restrained your moans as he slammed his pelvis against your hole, there was fulfillment rattling in his bones when he pressed your face to the side before diving in to suck on your sweet flesh.
“Cry more. Did you know your walls get warmer when you’re aroused?”
It was hard to describe the feeling. The median between pain and pleasure was the closest example you could liken it to. The grazing of his fangs added to the burning sensation that you had all over your body as if fire was ignited to light up all your nerves. 
Your hand latched onto his shirt before his body collapsed on top of you. With your legs spread wide, his head hung low on your neck—still and unmoving, strangely like he had fallen asleep. 
“Sylus.” You tapped his arm through the heavy rise and fall of your chest.
And before you could move away, he shot straight up and looked at you with those foxy incarnadine eyes that were now in the shade of deep crimson. Eyes that were wide and full of horror as he looked around the cathedral before he slowly realized what he had just done. 
“Y/N,” he said your name regretfully, pulling your dress down to cover your exposed parts, “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, I did this—? I don’t—” 
Long dried were the tears on your cheek. As you two scrambled to fix your clothes, you pulled him into a hug while he murmured endless sorry’s to your ear. At least, for now he was back. That was the most important thing with all the sanity you had left. 
“Just get me out of here, Sy,” you said, back into the arms of your human lover. 
~~
You’ve always wondered why Sylus often slept during the day. Or why his normal heartbeat was at the pace of someone who was having a heart attack. Or why he could get serious wounds but managed to heal himself fast. Sometimes he would disappear from your sight and transport himself into another. Sometimes he would see and hear things a thousand times clearer than any other person could. 
For almost a year of dating, these questions only came up to you without much of an answer. You thought that you were simply theorizing over things that you shouldn’t. Why does Sylus always wear that cross around his neck? At the back of your head, you were always intrigued. 
You didn’t find out about the real reason until two months ago when you finally met ‘Lucifer’ out of nowhere. If Sylus was Jekyll, Lucifer was his Hyde. It was his way to allow you to form a dissociation between the two beings in one body. 
You never believed in devils until Sylus showed his demonic face to you one night while you were supposedly peacefully sleeping. You recalled the screams that you released when you found out that Sylus was the fallen angel all along. That the rosary around his neck was meant to seal his dark side, the side that you still didn’t know much of. Up until this day, he didn’t provide a concrete answer as to why he needed to seal himself. He was taciturn about the topic of his other self despite you bringing it up every now and then. 
But because you loved him, trusted him, and believed him when he said that he didn’t plan to hurt you—you stayed. You knew his human side better than the monster within him, so you told yourself that you could stay for him. You just needed to learn more about him. 
There were still moments where you felt cautious around him, but when you looked to see his softened expression, you were comfortable at seeing the Sylus that you knew. 
“Y/N,” he broke the silence that lingered between you two as you walked around the city, “I’m sorry.” 
You tugged at his hand in reassurance. “It’s okay, I just...” As flashbacks of the earlier events returned to your head, you felt ashamed at having done such dirty deeds at a holy place. “He always gets what he wants.” 
Because you let him. 
“I can’t do anything when I’m trapped,” Sylus mumbled, keeping up with your footsteps as you strode along the street. 
Your curiosity bubbled from his statement. “What happens when he’s taking over?” 
This time, Sylus didn’t shy away from giving an answer while he interlaced his hand with yours. “I can hear everything, but I can’t feel or see. It’s all black, like I’m in a dark void.” 
“Like comatose?” 
“You could say that.”
How could a rosary seal his other self? How come he had two versions of him? 
“He’s obsessed with you,” he admitted, frowning at the thought as you passed rows and rows of boutiques and restaurants. “Your soul, your scent, your body. That’s probably why he always has the urge to come out.” 
The thought of it permeated heat on your cheeks even when it shouldn’t. Sylus had always been sweet and loving with his intimacy with you, but his other side was rough and sadistic. He liked tormenting your innocence with his immorality. 
“You said the rosary was meant to seal him, but how come he keeps on—”
“It doesn’t work these days. Only my father can help, but I don’t wanna go that far just to tell him about this.” 
Father. It was the first time he had ever spoken about his father in your twelve months together. Or did he mean father as in God? “Where’s your father, Sylus? Or the rest of your family? Are the other archangels roaming on Earth, too?” 
You could see it in his saintly face that he was about to give an answer and you anticipated it, not until the nearby catcalling distracted you two. 
“Nice legs, gorgeous,” whistled the man who was leaning by the street railings with a cigarette in his hand. The man was probably in his mid-40’s with disheveled hair and unshaved face. You sent him a glare but a crude wink was returned. 
“It’s a bit rude to ogle at my woman in front of me, don’t you think?” was Sylus’s warning, the tendrils of his black-red mist extending to surround the man.
You could hear the man hooting again, unaware of what would become of him. “Ha ha! You punk. I’d spread those legs in a heartbeat.” 
While Sylus’s eyes were deepening into a darker hue, you knew you couldn’t risk seeing him release his demonic side again. It was a dangerous gamble. And the city could become a bloodbath. So, in your insistence, you told your lover to just leave it be.
“Sylus, let it go,” you gently asked, tugging at his arm softly. You wanted to avoid confrontation and just continue walking with you until you could reach your destination. “It’s okay.”
~~
“Happy anniversary to my favorite couple!” 
The clinking of glasses was followed by cheers on the booth where your boyfriend and your friends sat together. It was Avery’s idea to celebrate the special day two days prior as an excuse to hang out and drink. Luke and Kieran, being Sylus’s minions, were very much willing to join. 
“It’s not until Wednesday,” Sylus corrected with a smile, sipping on his pint before putting an arm around you. He gestured towards Avery and Luke with a knowing look. “Now you two should date each other.” 
You giggled at the thought. “Yeah, I totally support that.” 
Instead, the two of them reacted heavily against it—faking a gag, making a face, name it all. They were adamant on showing how disgusted they were at the thought of dating each other and it was quite a hilarious sight to watch. 
“Boss, come on,” Luke replied in outward distaste. 
Avery, on one hand, was rolling her eyes. “You wish I was interested. I’d rather do Kieran than you.” 
Kieran was Luke’s twin, the less obnoxious and more empathic one. But when those two were combined, their level of mischief wasn’t really any different from each other. 
“Picking Kieran is the most insulting thing you can say to me,” huffed Luke, earning yours and Avery’s chuckle. 
After an exchange of playful banter and teasing remarks, the conversation was redirected back to you and Sylus as Avery curiously brought up how you first met your boyfriend. It was only a year ago and the memory was still vivid in your head. 
“Oh my God. I remember how Y/N first saw you at this auction,” she gushed towards your boyfriend while you blushed, gripping his arm closer, “and she’s acting like she just saw her soulmate.” 
Kieran decided to chime in, “Boss was looking at her too, though. He may look tough, but he’s a hopeless romantic deep down—”
“Enough,” Sylus warned before sipping on his glass. 
You rested your head on his shoulder and relaxed against him. “Next thing you guys know, we’re living together.” 
Frankly, everything was normal until Sylus showed up. 
“What do you like most about her, Sylus?” Avery egged on with a grin spreading on her face. 
Your boyfriend didn’t even take a second to answer, “She’s cute like a cat,” he said, caressing your hand with his thumb from under the table, “and smart, and caring. Can get spicy, too. It won’t end.” 
Sylus was the same, if not better. You didn’t have much experience when it came to dating, but you were surely on top of the luck department for being blessed with a man like him. He was the most protective person you knew, the most affectionate, the most thoughtful. Sylus was the moon that illuminated your dark nights. You could even remember how he would wait outside of your workplace to pick you up in his motorcycle—those were the little things that lasted for a lifetime in someone’s memory. 
“She’s also a nun.” 
The sudden panic in your eyes came simultaneous to the fast beating of your heart. You swiftly whipped your head to look at Sylus who was now displaying a deriding smirk across his pale face. Oh, were you doomed. The ruby eyes and the stony face was clear confirmation that the demon had taken over him. Twice in the same day. 
Even Avery was surprised by his word of choice, but nonetheless found it amusing as it was rare for them to see Sylus acting bold. You were grateful for her obliviousness because you didn’t know how else you could explain the situation at hand.
“She’s a what, boss-man?” Luke jeered, chugging on his pint and looking at his boss in his newfound entertainment. He was among the very few people that knew Sylus’s true nature. Because the twins were demons like him.
“A nun,” Sylus answered, sending a look of mischief your way. You were deeply panicking that you had to squeeze his hand in hopes of stopping him from showing his true colors. “What? Don’t be shy, kitten. Didn’t we have fun in that church?”
You quickly shook your head and denied it in front of your friends. “We didn’t. Don’t believe him.”
Avery was unbelievably taken aback. “Wow,” she held back a chuckle, “I didn’t know Sylus has a vulgar mouth.” 
~~
The night carried on while the downpour engulfed the streets heavily. Your desperation to leave the dinner earlier than intended was solely because you weren’t comfortable at having Sylus around other people. The man was clearly enjoying the embarrassment that he was putting you through. And you, you were only being cautious. Who knew what things he could do to Avery while in his other form? 
You didn’t want things to end up where Sylus would be ostracized by the people who knew him just because they couldn’t understand that he was completely harmless in his benevolent self. 
It took a lot of effort to finally make an excuse of getting home early while the skies have temporarily calmed down. However, as you two strolled across the street, Sylus wouldn’t stop blabbering on and on about how you should have stayed more to talk about how prudish you were. 
“I’m not in the mood right now,” you spoke in a detached voice, moving away from him as you walked together. Because you ruined it, you wanted to add. The cold breeze kissed your face through the dark. 
Sylus only moved closer to you. “You shouldn’t be so uptight,” he countered, “Is that how kittens should act? Or do I punish you back at home?”
Punishments. You didn’t wish to go through another round of his ‘punishments’ because you weren’t certain at how creative he could be at delivering them. There was no doubt that a man who traversed the ages would have seen enough torture devices used during the earlier times. Perhaps he could get inspiration from those. 
“I just wanna go home,” you muttered, almost inaudibly had his heightened hearing senses not worked. 
“Good, then I can have fun with y—” Sylus halted from his words as his face froze at the sight in front of him. His body had completely gone stiff and his jaws were clenched. You would have thought that he was angry until that evil upturn of his lips came to show. 
“Sylus...”
Following his sight, he was all eyes on a man from a distance before he dashed towards the stranger, leaving you utterly stupefied from where you stood. What’s he on about? You rushed as your heels landed in lightweight steps across the sidewalk while you watched in terror how Sylus mercilessly throttled the man by the neck and dragged him into a dark alleyway. 
“Sylus, stop!” 
As you reached him with a panting breath, you realized that the man he was holding high up against the wall was the same person that catcalled you earlier. The man was wriggling away from Sylus’s tight grip, only to be asphyxiated harsher than before. 
“Wh-What’s your problem?” The man struggled to breathe due to the strangulation and you were pulling Sylus’s other arm to stop him. 
At the sight of Sylus’s crimson eyes and vicious stance, you knew there was nothing much you could do to prevent harm. He was determined to do what he wanted without paying attention to his surroundings. 
“You’re fantasizing her, huh?” Sylus taunted with a sinister undertone in his words. “You wanna spread ‘em open?” 
Recalling the very words he spoke, the man saw you with frantic eyes as his face was reddening from the lack of oxygen. With a rushed shake of the head and a face that was begging for sympathy, he tried to break free. “N-No, no. She’s—haaa! She’s all yours.” 
“Sylus, stop it.” You grabbed his arms and attempted your best to pull him away despite the trepidation that caused you goosebumps. “Please stop, you’re gonna kill him.” 
Every time you saw this demonic creature, you were learning new things about him and most of those things were of the worst kind. Not only was he possessive—he was diabolical, potentially obsessive, and a cutthroat sadist who wouldn’t even blink before ending someone’s life. This was the true nature of a demon, not some silly fantasy that today’s pop-culture portrayed them to be. 
He was a body without a soul.
Unfortunately, you should have thought twice before choosing to get involved with him. 
“That’s my plan, sweetie.” 
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beguilingcorpse · 3 months
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weaponry in the locked tomb is so interesting because when you break it down it's like:
guns exist in-universe but are used by the freedom fighter terrorist organization almost exclusively
swords are (were?) commonplace enough that gideon was able to find and train with a decently well-balanced two-hander on the ninth, despite the fact that the ninth has no military force or even interplanetary traffic. gideon's sword is at least 20 years old, probably older
swords are definitely still in use within the empire, at least by cavaliers, but likely within the cohort as a whole. to my memory there are no mentions of cohort members carrying military-issue guns
even though they're trained in a variety of weapons and techniques, cavaliers (are supposed to) carry exclusively rapiers. gideon prefers her two-hander and cam carries twin shortswords, but these seem to be rare and shocking exceptions to the standard.
rapiers are used by cavaliers explicitly for the purpose of lyctorhood. they're light enough that a scrawny necromancer without swordfighting experience can pick it up and rely on their cav's training without needing to build the muscle to wield the sword effectively
because of the secretive nature of the megatheorem, and lyctorhood as a whole, most people just follow the rapier rule because it's tradition. it is what is done. harrow makes this pretty clear at the beginning of gtn
cavaliers can carry a variety of offhand weapons. it seems like the full spectrum of middle age weaponry is possible - but still, no guns. not even secretly, as with cam's dual blades. some cavs choose to carry material for their necromancers as their offhand - ortus carries a bowl of bones for harrow, and i can only assume "the powder" mentioned as harrow's choice for gideon's offhand towards the beginning of gtn is some kind of bone dust
from a doylist perspective, all of this creates a aesthetic that starts very analog and gothic and gradually grows into a more standard sci-fi space opera through the series. by ntn, we've hit most of the established genre weaponry tropes that we've come to expect from older futuristic space media like star wars and alien. blasters and guns are standard fare, and it makes sense to hold off on introducing them until the scope of the story gets broader and more interplanetary
from a watsonian perspective, it's a little more difficult to draw concrete conclusions without the context that atn will inevitably provide. but if i had to hedge a guess, i'd say that, as with most things, It's All John Gaius's Fault. when he resurrected the galaxy i'd assume that he wanted to keep the aesthetics of medieval imperialism, and given his 21st century liberalism probably didn't want guns to be part of the equation. but they were anyways - we know this because wake carries a big one - and instead of standardizing firearms within his military and for his lyctors, he clings to the aesthetics of swordplay. please correct me if i'm remembering it wrong, but to my knowledge every gun shown in the series is either directly linked to boe or implied to be sourced from them. jod dooms his own lyctors and military by refusing to update their weaponry.
all of this poses a lot of questions about atn: who will carry a gun, and why? where did the gun come from? why DON'T the lyctors just use firearms? and most importantly: will they be fighting zombies with swords???
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lqveharrington · 8 months
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Fake-Love | C.S.
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summary: a boy was bothering you, so you and Coriolanus take it into your own hands.
pairing: university!coriolanus snow x fem!reader
includes: a very unstable, toxic relationship between the two, (arranged marriage), making out, comments toward the reader’s body, implied sex (it isn’t written), mentions of murder
a/n: soooo, as i write for the Silver Roses & Fallen Snow series, i decided to write a billion one-shot for our favorite blond to keep the era for him alive so i can finish my series 🫡. also, the uniforms are based of the gilmore girls’ one, since they are in university now and not academy.
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The arranged marriage between the Snows and the Edevanes were always doomed to happen. You were born the same year as Coriolanus, and your families were already close with each other.
It was just, you and Coriolanus despised one another.
The feeling was 100% mutual. The reasoning for such a feud was due to the never ending fight for the brightest student in the Capitol. During your years in Academy, it was a tie in every class. Of course, your hatred for one another was more tame.
It only really changed when Coriolanus came back from serving the Districts as a peacekeeper. There was something about his demeanor that was much different, plus the way he was built could have made you weak in the knees.
He joined University a little after it had started for your class, but that didn’t stop him from becoming the best. You were currently the top of your class in University, but that changed when he joined under Dr. Gaul. His jabs to your reputation were much stronger than in Academy. He would make comments about you when walking down the hall behind you, making sure you understood that he would do whatever it took to be back on top.
So, when your parents dropped the bomb on you that you were to be engaged to Coriolanus as soon as possible, your blood boiled at the male. You could not believe he stooped that low to get back at you.
And about a few weeks after the initial announcement, you and Coriolanus officially got engaged, becoming the sudden talk of the Capitol.
“How did you keep your dating life such a huge secret?” A reporter stuck their microphone up to your face as you and Coriolanus exited a car together.
“Well, we were just so love struck with one another that we didn’t want others to know.” Coriolanus smiled, answering the question for you.
His arm was looped around yours as you were guided into the University, answering all the questions being asked of you both. The moment you stepped inside the school grounds you let go of the male, dusting off your uniform’s plaid skirt.
“What time do your classes end?” He muttered toward you, adjusting his own uniform.
“I have study hall all day, I’ll be done whenever you are.” You state as you head for the library, ignoring the icy stare your fiancé was giving you.
Since Coriolanus studied under Dr. Gaul, you knew you would have to stay a lot longer in the University’s library than usual, but you did not necessarily care. You had textbook assignments due, and it was an opportunity to get everything done.
That was the goal until a first year at the University started bothering you.
“I told you, I’m busy.” You stand from your seat, furrowing your brows at the young male. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to go find a book for my psychology lessons.”
“Aw, don’t be lame.” He inched toward you, grabbing your wrist. “Why don’t we have our own fun instead? I’m sure you’re just as beautiful underneath your skirt.”
Your eyes harden at his words and mess with your engagement ring, “You‘ll have to excuse me, I have to be somewhere.”
Swiftly, you weave through the different shelves full of books. You swore under your breath when you hear the footsteps of the male behind you, sharply turning into a more secluded space. To your surprise, you found Coriolanus pulling books from the Hunger Games previous years.
“What are you doing in here?” You question, quickly moving around to his left. “I thought Dr. Gaul needed you today?”
“She wanted me to understand the history of the previous games to help with the programming and DNA of new animals.” He mumbled, looking through a thick book from the first Hunger Games. “What are you doing?”
“This guy was hitting on me.” You shrug, meeting Coriolanus’ darkened eyes. “What?”
“What guy?” He placed the books down on a cart, grabbing your chin.
You bite the inside of your cheek, “I don’t know his name, but he’s a first year here. Why do you care so much?”
“Because, gorgeous, you’re my fiancée. Any guy who even looks your way that isn’t me is dead.” He backed you into the shelf, hand still tight on your chin. “Did he saying anything or touch you?”
“Yes.” You whisper, gaze dropping to his lips before back up to his darkened blue eyes. “He grabbed my wrist and said that ‘I’m probably just as beautiful underneath my skirt’.”
Coriolanus took his other hand and firmly placed it on your hip, eyes wandering your face. “I’ll kill him.”
You turn your head to the side as you heard footsteps nearing before Coriolanus slammed his lips onto yours, pulling your body close to his. You wrap your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss without a care in the world.
“Mm, Coryo—“ You part, feeling your skirt hike up. “Are you insane?”
“Maybe.” He chuckles, shutting you up with a harder kiss, slipping his tongue through your parted mouth.
Coriolanus changes his hold on you, both hands now on your waist. You shift your hips, earning a quiet groan from the male. He retaliates by tracing a hand up to your throat, slightly squeezing it which earned a moan coming from you.
“Oh, so you’re just a whore.” The male scoffed from the front of the aisle, looking at the couple.
“Kill him?” You ask between kisses, tugging at his tie. Truly, you didn’t know he would take that request to heart as the male soon was deemed missing a day later. But for now, you were caught up in the heat.
Coriolanus grins, leaving one last kiss to your swollen lips. “He talks to my soon to be wife like that, it’ll be worse than a quick kill.”
read more about coriolanus snow here !!
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©lqveharrington - all rights reserved. do not copy, translate or share my work on other media platforms
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mirtifero · 2 years
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“What the hell is going on in Brazil?” Hell.
#like there’s the ‘what the fuck’ funny and the ‘what the fuck’ horrible nightmares which one would you like for me to start?#anyways! I think my family is doomed and that my parents are probably going to end up jobless in the next 4 years because of the whole#university funds thing so yeah I guess I’ll cry#because SP is probably not going to be able to elect Haddad and Tarcísio is a son of a bitch and we all know what happened to my family’s#retirement last elections so like… yeah I think they are going to take more and more away from us every year ksjaksjk#my friends are getting kicked out of university for the lack of funds :)#so I just have to wait until this happens to the municipal and estadual institutions too#it’s a nightmare and I think everyone that isn’t a fucking oligarch is going to go full on poverty#‘the left is evil’ YOU ARE THE ONES STARVING US#call me a pessimist but I’m trying to do everything I can with school and love my house and enjoy every second of the taste of meat because#I think it will be all gone in the next years if these things keep happening#they took retirement away from most of my family’s elders so I guess it only gets worse from here#if you are sick of me saying how people ARE directly affected by the elections and want to hear the haha funny ones#Bolsonaro got in ‘cannibalism’ ‘satanism’ and ‘pro-choice’ scandals with his own fans BWUAHUAHAH#long story tbh I’m trying to summarize the thing here#if you are wondering why is ‘pro-choice’ also a scandal: he is openly ‘pro-life’ and so are all bolsominions#so like yeah his fans are getting upset and I never wished people were something like ‘pro-life’ so badly in my entire life like… PLEASE#when the situation is so bad you want the conservative bitches to be angry about a nazi possibly being secretly pro-choice
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angelshadowsinger · 7 months
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Scarlet-Tipped Secrets; Peonies, for You
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𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Azriel x f!reader
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3.5k
𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐨𝐫𝐲: angst
𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬 (𝐓𝐖):
hanahaki!au, TW gore/vomiting (mildly descriptive— it’s bloody petals), unrequited love, themes of depression and lack of self worth, pining (so much pining), & dramaaaaa
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 
When you develop feelings for your best friend, you delude yourself into believing you can ignore them for the rest of your life, if it means you can stay by his side. But once he starts seeing someone else, you discover that if you continue keeping your secret… your time on earth may be cut short. You find yourself with an impossible choice— remove all attachments to the shadowsinger and live, or hold out hope and suffer the consequences. 
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: 
This one goes out to all my angst girlies. My ladies who like the feeling of tears crawling onto your pillow, of hurt balling up in your stomach as you wander through a fic. I see you and I feel you, and I cooked this one up special just for you. 
𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞:
Mates do not exist in the universe that this fic is set in, meaning Elain is not “off limits” to Az, and Cass is single. Additionally, since mates aren’t a thing, marriage/weddings are! 
・ ゜゜・.。 ・ ゜゜・.。・゚゚・.。 ・ ゜゜・.。・゚゚・
ɴᴏᴛɪᴄᴇ: ʙʏ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴘᴀꜱᴛ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴘᴏɪɴᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴇʀᴛɪꜰʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴏᴠᴇʀ 18 ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ᴍɪɴᴏʀ. ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴀʏ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴ ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴛʜᴇᴍᴇꜱ. ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴅɪꜱᴄʀᴇᴛɪᴏɴ.
・ ゜゜・.。 ・ ゜゜・.。・゚゚・.。 ・ ゜゜・.。・゚゚・
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The first time it had happened, you had been more confused than anything. 
Azriel had just given Elain a gift for Starfall; a pair of earrings that would glow a warm pink when kissed by the sun’s rays. Her cheeks turned the same color as she admired them, as did the tips of the shadowsinger’s ears. 
Just one smooth petal rested in your palm as you brought your hand back from covering a cough, pink and delicate and beautiful. You thought that maybe it had landed in your palm before you coughed— even if there were no peonies in the vicinity and you hadn’t even seen one in months. Because there was no way that it had come… out of you. 
The second time it happened, confusion became fear and it swiftly took root deep in your stomach. This time, it was a couple of petals, dewey in your hand as you turned away from your friends, shock running through you. 
Azriel and Elain were sitting shoulder to shoulder on the love seat in the living room of the House of Wind, spirits being passed around by everyone and laughter filling the air. They had just shared a look you could infer was meant to be a secret between only them, but you had unfortunately witnessed the action. You could hardly breathe as you quickly hid the evidence of your newfound predicament, dumping the petals into a potted plant beside the mantle. You hoped that you were slick; taking a slow sip from your glass in an attempt to rid your throat of that tight, scratchy feeling even though your body was screaming for you to gulp it down. 
In that moment, you realized that something was wrong with you. It would only take a few more petal-filled fits and two trips to the grand library of Velaris to discover that you were— to put it simply— completely, wholly, and undeniably doomed. It was there, during the early hours of morn and the empty, candle-lit corridors that you learned three things;
You were in love with your best friend, Azriel. 
He was in love with someone else.
And you were going to die. 
— 
Things between you and the shadowsinger hadn’t always been so difficult. 
Your relationship was, for many years, easy and left you feeling light; every conversation and interaction cherished. Initially, the pair of you had become fast friends; the other members of the Inner Circle even remarking on how he was usually a little slower to build relations. Perhaps something of your sense of self, intelligence, and silver-thorned wit had something to do with his initial intrigue. That was the guess Feyre ventured, anyway. 
Once your friendship with the elusive male had blossomed, it was easy to maintain. Though you didn’t see him every day, when he did pay you a visit, the two of you made the most of it. The Inner Circle liked to poke at the pair of you, even going so far as to joke about your relationship that was not a relationship. And you and Azriel took it like champs; never wavering, always keeping it light in good fun. 
But at night when you would crawl into your sheets and close your eyes, sometimes thoughts of him would find you. It was wrong to be thinking of your best friend like this when he so obviously would never feel that way for you, and yet… you pondered how his fingers would feel tracing across your naked back. You wondered what it would be like to melt into his arms at the end of the day, how his heartbeat would sound if it was just inches away from your ear, if you could lay your head on his chest. 
You tried, you really did try to stop the thoughts from coming. But they quickly became more vivid, and more frequent than before. You couldn’t rid him from your mind— couldn’t focus when he came near, couldn’t hold up your end of the witty volley you usually shared because you’d get flustered if you stared at him for too long. Slowly, you had come to realize that the jokes your friends loved to make weren’t just conjecture— they knew all along that something was there. 
It made you wonder if Azriel knew, too. 
He was undeniably one of the smartest males you had come to know— your appraisal of him was sparkling, stellar. But when it came to things regarding emotion— specifically, his own emotions… he tended not to be quite as adept. So you had now landed in this confusion-fogged purgatory. Either your best friend knew you harbored feelings for him and he did not return them whatsoever— acting ignorant of your emotions. Or he didn’t know you were in love with him, didn’t even see a romantic relationship with you as a possibility, and maybe… if he were enlightened, he would realize that he… loved you too. 
It was that very hope that had you holding out for so long. You so desperately wanted to believe that he just wasn’t aware of your feelings— of his— that you smushed your dignity down and continued to uphold your friendship, never revealing that you felt romantically attracted to him. 
But the waiting game, of course, came back to bite you in the ass. Because the moment you realized he had started to see someone else… you knew that you had deluded yourself for months. All those nights that you laid awake, fantasizing about him and how he would proclaim his love to you… they were just fantasies. Nothing of the sort would ever happen. 
Because now, he had Elain. 
Her— the Archeron sister known for her gentle spirit and her striking face. She was quiet, and sweet, and goddamn breathtaking. Of course it had to be her; it couldn’t have been some bitch that would actually be deserving of your hatred. Because he was perfect, why would his choice of life partner be anything but? You couldn’t think of a bad word to say about the woman. 
Elain had always treated you with polite kindness, a sense of regality emanating from her and her ethereal beauty. Though she wasn’t by any means your favorite female, there was nothing she had ever done to justify even a grain of dislike. You couldn’t say your few conversations had been riveting, nor her presence been warm and inviting… but they hadn’t been the opposite either. Your opinion on her was removed, but pleasant. Hell, if you could stand a blow to the ego, you might even admit you were jealous of the looks almost every male gave her when she entered the room. 
The jealousy certainly ramped up once you realized that your beloved shadowsinger was one of those males… and actually, he was the only one she seemed to return interest toward, which of course… was salt in the wound. 
As the weeks dragged on, their supposedly-secret affair began picking up speed. The sight of Azriel’s warm hazel gaze pinned to her made your stomach churn with unease, the petals itching up your throat more and more often. It became easier to just avoid the both of them in general, and with the absence of their presences, it was easier for you to pretend that everything was fine, and that you could handle your worsening condition on your own. 
But of course, that was not the case. 
Because after a few months, the Inner Circle gathered in private quarters above the Night Court Annual Starfall Ball. Thousands celebrated and swirled below you in the ballroom and yet you could only focus on one. It was then that the man who haunted your thoughts stood before the rest of you, pretty Elain tucked under his arm all giddy and shy, and announced they were engaged to be wed.
Warm liquid trickled out from the corner of your mouth, your ears ringing as your vision blurred in two, wide waves cleaving and then melting together again. 
The crisp air felt welcome on your flushed cheeks, cool on your inflamed, ragged lungs. Stars danced above you as they pelted across the sky, and in your haggard state, they seemed to smear into a disorienting and beautiful masterpiece. 
Someone was kneeling in front of you, large wings casting shadows around broad shoulders as they yelled something you couldn’t quite understand. The warm smell of them was comforting and you relaxed slightly, recognizing it was Cassian and slumping as his calloused hands came to hold your biceps.  
The spliced image of him made it too hard to read the words on his lips. You tried to sit up but your body was drained, making it impossible to move. The Illyrian gathered your limp form into his arms and your head lolled to face the ground, finally piecing together what had happened. 
A pile of pink, lush petals glistened up at you against the dark stone of the balcony floor, the light from the full moon sparkling off droplets of deep scarlet. It had happened again… and this time, it was even worse than before. You had had another episode— the evidence of it glaring even in your semi-conscious state. 
“You’re in love with him…,” Cassian said slowly, barely even audible. 
But you heard it— your body trembling with some sick concoction of shame and relief. For so long you had not uttered a whisper of your feelings, never daring to take ownership of them, let alone share them. There were no words that you could muster, nothing sharp or bright for you to make a response. You were just tired. Indescribably tired. Gods, you were so tired, your limbs felt as if they had turned to stone, and you could slumber for a thousand years. 
“This doesn’t make any sense,” the male growled, squeezing your limp form closer to his firm chest. “I swear, he… Gods, this is fucked.” 
You closed your eyes and allowed his body heat to seep into you, finding a small bit of comfort there. Cassian didn’t choose to say anything else as the waves of sickness gradually dissipated, leaving you weak and numb.
“Cass,” you rasped, barely able to get enough air to speak. “I’m scared.” Your head felt as if it was filled with a thick smog— struggling to get enough oxygen as you slowly recovered. 
The General’s brow furrowed in pain at your pitiful confession, gathering you closer to his chest and tucking your head in tight beneath his chin. “I know, sweetheart. But you’re not alone. You don’t have to do this by yourself, not anymore. I’m here.” Cassian held you so delicately you wanted to cry, guilt pulsing through you as you realized he must have been terrified to have found you in such a sorry state. “I’ve got you,” he murmured, his voice low and full of promise, “I’m not going anywhere.” 
“I’m sorry,” you sobbed, woe taking root deep in your chest. Now that you had seen Azriel with her— like that, so clearly in love with her, parading their affections out in the open, for anyone and everyone to see as he twirled her around the ballroom earlier… It was too much. Every part of you throbbed in agony, and you were consumed in fresh throes of self-pity. It was completely humiliating to be this debilitated. All because you were in love with your best friend, and he was in love with someone else. 
Cassian scrunched his brow, the planes of his chiseled face settling into solid lines as you regained your bearings. “There’s no need to apologize, Y/n. You didn’t ask for this— how you feel is not your fault. Your body is already punishing you for simply having feelings— don’t let your mind join in on the beating too.”
You nodded, tucking your hands into your chest as he sighed and stood, taking you with him. He lifted you into his embrace with the utmost ease, as though you weighed nothing more than a sheet of paper. Your evening dress fluttered with the movement. If anyone caught sight of you two from far away, perhaps it could be construed as romantic, the way he now held you in his strong arms, strolling away from the party.
“You don’t seem as… freaked out as I thought you would,” you whispered as he walked with lethal quiet. Shadows stood tall above you as you approached the hedged boundary of the estate gardens, cutting into the overwhelming display the falling stars continued to put on. 
Cassian was quiet. 
You took a minute to study his somber expression, trying to read what he was feeling in this moment of recollection. Clearly, he had some experience with this disease before. Otherwise, he would’ve ran you right inside the ball, or to the nearest healer. But he didn’t— instead, he’d wandered into the dark hedges of the grounds, concealing you from prying eyes and ears. As if he understood what you would want most in this moment of shattering vulnerability. 
“I’m not sure why you expect so little of me, little one,” he eventually replied, coming to the center of the area. He perched you beside him on a wrought-iron bench, facing a small fountain whose gentle gurgle drowned out the last hints of the celebration you’d left behind. 
You frowned. Your lungs felt looser— distracted by whatever it was that provided Cassian with experience regarding your dreadful illness. It was nearly enough to forget the bomb that had been dropped on you upstairs just twenty minutes ago. “It’s not that, it’s just—“ you began. Cass shot you a playful look and you sighed, a smile daring at your lips as you rolled your eyes. “Okay I just meant that before this, I’d never heard of this kind of thing…” Your voice trailed off, hand reaching to rest on his before you murmured, “I’m sorry you have.” 
The Illyrian raised a brow and let out a short, hollow laugh. “Oh no— It wasn’t me, I don’t… Well, never that bad anyway. I’ve just seen… how bad it can get. An old friend of mine once had the unfortunate experience of falling ill to this plague centuries ago.”
You nodded and put your hands in your lap, digging a thumb into your palm. “What… happened to them?” 
Cassian closed his lips and sighed, hands bracing his knees. Silence drew out for a long beat before he finally spoke. “He told the one he loved about his ailment. And they told him..,” he trailed off, gaze darting sideways to land on you. You gestured for him to continue, and he did so after a brief pause. “They told him they would never have romantic feelings for him. They asked him to have the procedure. They wanted him to live, and if they couldn’t love him… then that was the only way.”
You shuddered. The very notion of the procedure made your bones ache and your shoulders sag.
“So he did,” Cassian went on, undeterred. “And he survived.” 
Quiet invaded the still air, otherwise only interrupted by the low chirps of crickets in the grass and the muffled party. Cassian decided not to speak any further on the subject, instead content to let a calm silence settle between the pair of you. But somehow, you found yourself talking— despite never having voiced aloud any of these feelings, any of these thoughts. 
“Cass, do you think… I should have the procedure, too?” 
It was a question that was fully weighted— heavy, you already knew, but by the way the Illyrian’s shoulders sagged, the gravity of it all seemed more drastic than before. 
Cassian took his time to form a reply, but when he finally did, it was in a soft and hushed voice. “I am not the one that should be making such calls, Y/n. But I will tell you that my friend… he was never quite the same.” 
You shared a look of understanding with him— he was your friend, and the male you were in love with was his brother. Freshly engaged brother, at that. The consequences of the procedure would certainly crack a deep fracture in the dynamic of your group. If anything, you would probably fade away from everyone, seeing as every one of your memories that the Shadowsinger dwelled in would be tainted— his absence removed entirely. He would not exist to you anymore, and even if that wouldn’t necessarily affect you, oblivious to his existence, everyone around you would not share that same luxury. 
And Azriel would be there, too. He would have to see you and know that you had loved him so intensely, that those feelings were so wholly one-sided, that you had to physically remove him from your mind. All so that your heart could forget him and start anew. Would that bother him? Knowing that you had suffered because you had fallen in love with him, while he would never possibly feel that way for you? Surely that would make him uncomfortable, to be in your presence after that. So ultimately, it would be best to just move away, and start somewhere else— clean slate. Would he even miss you? 
“Sometimes I think about it— the procedure. This disease, it’s a wretched way to live, Cass. It hurts,” you said, voice cracking as emotion welled up in your eyes and throat. “It hurts so fucking bad, I can’t even be around him anymore. Especially not now. Now that he’s…” You trained off, unable to say the words. 
Cassian slid to your side, tucking you underneath a strong arm. The shadow of his wing furled around you from behind, encasing you in a warm, safe space. Tears began to race down your cheeks, gathering at your chin and splattering onto the silken fabric on your lap. You couldn’t stop them— still too drained from the fit from before. All you could do was cry as your friend gathered you closer to him, patting the top of your head with careful strokes, trying his best to comfort you. 
Only once your crying seemed to subside did Cassian offer another solution. “Maybe… you could talk to him.” 
You laughed— a hollow, broken sound. Cassian lips curved up at the sound nonetheless. “I’m simply nowhere near as brave as you, Cass.”  Shaking your head, your gaze focused on the bubbling fountain before you. “Even if I could manage to face him, and confess to him… If he rejected me… I think I’d die on the spot.” 
“Don’t say that,” he said, voice low. 
You bit your lip. “And why not, Cass? There’s a good chance that I could drop dead any time I have one of these fits. That’s just reality.”
“Well fuck that reality,” Cassian spat, wings ruffling.  “I don’t want to live in a world without you, and I sure as hell know Azriel wouldn’t either.”
“Well maybe I don’t wanna live without him!” you yelled. After holding back your emotions for so long, they just kept flooding out after the hole Cassian had punched into the dam that had kept them at bay. “Maybe I’d rather die than lose even one memory with him, maybe I’ll just hold out for as long as I can because I’m too fucking scared to lose him!”
Cassian’s face twisted into agony. “And what of those who love you?” he challenged, voice shaking slightly with emotion. “What about us, what happens when you die, and when the last memories we will have of you were you withering away before our very eyes?! You love him? Do you know what world of pain he will be in when he finds out what happened to you? And then to discover your absolute complacency in the matter?”
A sob escaped you as you felt every word of truth pierce the feeble veil you had called a shield in your attempt at denial. Your friend was right— you couldn’t allow this disease to win, not if that meant hurting everyone you loved in the process. And now that you thought about it— even if you chose to remember him, and let the sickness take its course… what good would those memories do you, when you’d be dead? 
Cassian seemed to realize you had accepted defeat, because he tightened his hold on you and stroked your hair as you cried into his chest. The sadness you felt unfortunately was not alleviated by your tears, but at least… you had come to see that there was only one option forward. 
You had to go through with the procedure.
You had to forget Azriel.
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𝘩𝘪 𝘨𝘶𝘺𝘴!! 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 <3 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘧𝘪𝘤, 𝘚𝘛𝘚𝘗𝘍𝘠~ 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵𝘺 𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘦! 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘻𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦'𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯~
𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘮𝘬 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 2 & 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯!!
⤷ masterlist
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wileys-russo · 5 months
Note
hi! laura freigang, 'can i use a picture of you as my phone's background?', locker room please?
lockscreen II l.freigang
you woke up to a flash in your face, ducking your head beneath the covers with a groan. "go away lau!" you moaned kicking out at your best friend who only grinned, tugging the covers away from you.
"it was for the collection!" laura explained as if that was completely normal as you tiredly glared up at her. "get out of my room, its not even eight yet!" you realised with a groan, shoving her a little harder than intended as she went rolling backwards off the bed.
you sat up with a start, covering your grin with your hand as the blonde moaned clutching her head which had collided with the carpet.
"sorry?" you tried with an innocent smile as she sat up and fixed you with a venomous glare. "idiot!" she huffed unappreciative of your efforts. "in my defense i have warned you before about not waking me before nine unless its an emergency." you reminded with a shrug.
"i was waking you because i made breakfast but now i think i will go give it to that cranky lady next door, she would be more appreciative!" the blonde grumbled standing to her feet with a shake of her head, stretching out her back.
"no no, no need! thank you." you shot up from bed, kissing her cheek in thanks before racing off toward the kitchen too fast to see the way the girls face burned beetroot red at the tiny gesture of affection.
laura had been pining over you for months now, and it was painful that it was obvious to absolutely everyone but you, even her teammates teasings only causing you to roll your eyes and dismiss them with a wave when they joked you were secretly dating.
laura could only wish to be so lucky, and only wish you'd finally see that all the little things she did for you was because she was crushing on you hard.
ever since you'd moved to the club the girl felt her knees wobble a little when you were introduced to the team, the first to put her hand up to show you around and within a couple of weeks the two of you were thick as thieves and laura had offered you her spare room while you hunted for a place of your own.
it was an offer which beat the pull out sofa you were currently sleeping on in an old school friends one bedroom loft who'd moved to germany for university and just never come back.
you'd be lying if you said without laura you'd have lost your mind and probably quit to move back home. she helped you set up everything, get better at the language, offered friendship and a comfortable bed beneath your back, cooked everyday for you and showed you around new places each weekend between matches.
you hadn't realized it just yet but you were also crushing hard on the blonde, only you'd grown up with four older brothers and attributed nearly every strong feeling you had toward a woman as just a longing for friendship.
it was idiotic how blind you were really.
"so." you looked up from your spot at your cubby, training finished for the day as you were icing your ankle you'd rolled, most of the team having already left for the day laura was kindly waiting around until the physio came back to check you over, currently in a meeting.
"as you know i've been making my phone look nicer." laura started as you chuckled, amused by her sudden interest in aesthetics which was spurred on by a late night tiktok doom scroll as you lay together 'hanging out' in complete silence in her room the other night.
"i found a lockscreen-" she turned to show you a photo she'd taken at the markets on one of her film cameras, smiling at the familiar setting. "-but, can i use a photo of you as my phone background?" she asked hopefully as you groaned.
"what!" she huffed, a little offended by your reaction. "not if its one of those awful pictures you always take of me sleeping, or eating, or at that gross zoomed out angle but super close and-" you started to protest making her frown switch to a grin.
"no schatz, not a bad photo." she patted your knee reassuringly, sliding closer to you as your head fell to her shoulder, missing the way she tensed up a little, clearing her throat.
"i have nice ones. i will even let you choose!" laura promised as you hummed and she clicked into her camera roll, selecting an album with a little sun emoji.
"see? look these are all candid ones of you. at the farmers market, out at dinner, cooking at home, when we went to ikea, when we went to the night festival, getting coffee-" as she scrolled slowly through, something suddenly clicked in your mind.
in nearly all of these you and laura had been hanging out, but always just the two of you. you took turns paying for things, you were always laughing, she was always surprising you with little adventures or taking you to new places and forcing you out of your comfort zone.
but it was always just with laura, and then it clicked for you, it was laura, you loved laura.
the girl was too busy recounting the story behind one of the hundreds of photos in the album with a soft smile on her face to notice you pull your head away to look at her, finally seeing the slight blush on her cheeks and not missing the twinkle in her eye.
so maybe, just maybe, laura loved you too.
"lau." you interrupted, cutting her off mid sentence as she looked up and caught your eye, blush intensifying as she did. "was i rambling? oh god i was rambling wasn't i? i told you when that happens to snap me out of it or tell me to shut up or-" she started again making you smile.
"lau?" "yeah?" "shut up." you grinned as she did too, tips of her ears flushed pink which you found quite cute, suddenly now noticing a lot of little features you'd taken for granted.
"do you trust me?" you asked softly and the blonde nodded without a moments hesitation, but in her most wild of dreams she'd never expected what came next as your hand moved to settle on the back of her neck and you leaned in until you were barely a hairsbreadth away.
"is this okay?" you whispered, checking one last time as all the german could do was nod, dumbfounded and unsure if this was actually happening until you leaned in just that tiny bit further and pressed your lips to hers.
this was really happening, and as laura dropped her phone into her lap, tugging you even closer and kissing you back like you were her last breath of air, you realised that yeah, your laura did love you back, and this was the start of a brand new adventure together.
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tourturestarradio · 1 month
Note
Helloooo!! I hope you’re doing alright :3
‼️‼️‼️SPOILER FOR DEADPOOL 3‼️‼️‼️
Can I request a crack fic? With either male or gender neutral reader, with Logan and Wade, in that car fight scene?
Like, the three of them are in that Honda Odyssey, and when Logan and Wade start fighting, reader just gets so fed up, they’re like: “oh my god can y’all just kiss already? This is painful to watch.” Bc that was me the entire time I was watching that movie😭🙏🏻 You can add anything else you want in there but I would love to see that! I absolutely love how you write so I don’t doubt you could make this just as well as your others!! ☺️💙
𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔
"𝐖𝐞'𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫.𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐫."
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☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆
Prompt: You're sick of Wade's and Logan's BS and for the first time you lose your temper on them.
Pairing: Deadpool/Wade Willson x G/n reader x Wolverine/Logan Howlet
Warnings: Cursing, Spoilers for Deadpool 3
☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮
You ducked and dodged under both of the mens attacks they had been fighting each other for the past 30 minutes with no breaks. All because Logan couldn't keep the mouth shut. So now you sat bruises, bullet wounds, and cuts covering your body.
"Guys! G..Guys can we please stop fighting...please?" but they both ignored you again, usually you were the calm one to defuse their arguments and they'd relax, before they were back at it again.
You looked between the two your irritation growing stronger by the second.
"Uh...Wade?" he was stabbing into Logan "one moment cupcake." you dodged a stray knife headed your way "Logan?..." he broke Wades arm "not now."
You were willing to just let them fight it out that was the plan until Wade had redirected Logans blades into your leg.
That was your final straw, "Will you two just fuck already?!" you shouted looking at the two "what the fuck are you-" "Logan shut the hell up!" he closed his mouth Wade laughing at him "ha you're in trouble now-" "Wade so help me God I will shove that stupid kitana so far up your ass you're be tasting metal for a god damned month!"
They both hushed surprised by your outburst, your were usually so calm all the time.
"Every time you both are around each other it's like a enemies to lovers trope just waiting to happen! the sexual tension is palpable between you two!" You pulled Wolverines blades out of your leg "you two just can't go five fucking minutes without wanting to rip each other apart, for fucks sake!" you rolled your eyes "by some grace of God I've made it this far with you two assholes without having a brain aneurysm!"
You pulled a baby knife out of your torso pointing to Wade "I mean I get it you both have your differences, you're doing this because you got a girlfriend that barely loves you. Little to no friends who enjoy being around but you care about them and that's what's important right? Right.so you want to do everything in your will power to make sure those people don't die because without them you have nothing to distract from the impending doom you feel in your gut that you're not good enough. But god forbid you ever feel safe or scared so you cover up all your problems by making half funny jokes and witty comebacks. How's that am I in the right ball park?" You faced Logan as Wade pondered on your words.
He opened his mouth to speak but you hushed him quickly "And you, you try to be all big bad and tough but you're not you're a sad lonely man with no family or friends because in your universe they're dead and there's nothing you can do about it. But because you were left alive you carry the guilt of losing the people you cared for the most everyday wishing you could go back and fix things and make them right, but you can't they're gone for good but instead of making something out of your life and trying to start new you decided to go on a murderous rampage. So now you carry that guilt on top of everything else so you drown yourself in those chemicals in a bottle to forget or ignore your problems instead of growing a pair owning up to your mistakes!"
You got out of the car "so in conclusion you both have your reasons for being here, you want to get back the things you love most, but you two fuck faces are too idiotic to realize how much you have in common so you ignore the good character writing and argue and fight every other scene! I mean come on how much more gay could you two get!" You huffed finally letting that off your chest and turning to walk away "now i'm going to leave for an hour to blow off some steam and you both have two ultimatums you either A : take those sweaty suits off and have the best hate sex of your lives or B: shut the fuck up! Grow some balls! and get it the fuck together!" you stormed away both Logan and Wade too stunned to say anything.
.
.
.
"That was pretty hot, i've never seen them so angry."
Safe to say they made up for now and continued on with the rest of the movie.
☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮
A/n: sorry this was so short!!!!! hope you enjoyed!
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svnoohe4rts · 2 years
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MY DEAR ANNOYING SEATMATE ― lee heeseung
↳ PAIRING: lee heeseung x fembodied!reader
↳ SYNOPSIS: there was only a few things you hated in life, but your dear seatmate lee heeseung was most definitely one of the few things you absolutely despised. with the two of you being paired up for an upcoming project, it seemed like life possibly couldn’t get any worse; so why did he suddenly almost look cute?
↳ GENRE: enemies to lovers (kind of but not really, reader hates heeseung for no valid reason while heeseung is just clueless)
↳ WORD COUNT: 17.1k
↳ WARNINGS: slight angst, SMUT ! MDNI . | oral (m recieving), cum eating, heeseung is extremely inexperienced while reader is experienced (let me know if there’s anything i should add !)
↳ A/N: i got too carried away writing this, making this my longest fic ever ... i blame it on nerd!hee :’) proof read but there’s probably a few mistakes i’ve missed, don’t be afraid to point them out !!! all feedback is appreciated ! <3 
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YOU HATED LEE HEESEUNG.
The boy assigned to the seat next to you had never necessarily done anything for you to hate him. Thinking about it, there was nothing he possibly could’ve done, considering that he usually kept to himself most of the time and had probably only uttered about two or three words to you during your time as seatmates.
But one thing was for sure, you absolutely despised him.
You hated the way he’d slide his hideous glasses up the bridge of his nose, you hated the way he’d repeatedly tap the end of his pencil against his desk, especially during math, when he’d concentrate a little too hard, but most of all, you hated how he’d interrupt the teacher whenever he felt the need to add something to whatever the teacher was talking about; usually something completely irrelevant.
If there was one thing you wished for, it was for Lee Heeseung to keep to himself during class the same way he kept to himself outside of class.
But your wishes were never fulfilled, and they most likely would never be; Heeseung being the prime example of why the fairy godmother from Cinderella didn’t actually exist like you thought when you were younger, otherwise Heeseung probably would’ve lost his ability to speak by now. What Heeseung also failed to comprehend was that whenever he embarrassed himself by raising in hand in the middle of class just to boast about his knowledge, he also embarrassed you.
When all eyes landed on him, they also landed on you. So whenever the entire class would roll their eyes at Heeseung when he once again went completely going off topic, they were technically rolling their eyes at you, too. 
Like a pending doom, you wanted to sink through the ground every time he opened his mouth. You knew the second he cleared his throat and his hand went up in the air that it was your cue to press your forehead against the wooden desk, a desperate attempt to avoid the stares and sigh’s coming from your fellow classmates as Heeseung’s aggravating voice echoed through your ears.
For that very reason, you grew to hate Lee Heeseung more and more with each day that passed.
Over time, the annoyance of him always having something to say grew into you finding everything he did annoying. What started off as you two being innocently placed as seatmates, developed into you dreading going to class because of him.
Today, however, you swore you hated Heeseung more than ever.
If the universe had been on your side, Heeseung never would’ve ended up in the seat next to you for an entire year. You wouldn’t have to listen to his pencil hitting the table over and over again every single day, you wouldn’t have to listen to his annoying voice, no, this wasn’t the life you were supposed to live. You weren’t supposed to be seated next to the most annoying human being the world had ever seen, life had so much to offer you, you had so many things left to do before your life came to an end; yet the universe seemed to want you dead sooner than you had expected by making Lee Heeseung your assigned seatmate.
Your cause of death wouldn’t be of old age like you had hoped, nor would some cold-hearted illness take your life away, no, Lee Heeseung would be your cause of death; you were sure of it.
And just when you thought the universe might’ve toyed enough with you, the words trailing off your teacher's lips proved you wrong. ‘’Y/N, I think you and Heeseung would make a great pair for this project,’’
You had stopped listening to what the older woman was telling you the second your name accompanied by your dear seatmates name trailed off her lips. Almost like your whole world came crumbling down around you, you shut your eyes; nibbling on your bottom lip as you looked back on your entire life - trying to figure out what you possibly had done to deserve this type of punishment. 
Maybe this was the universe’s way of getting back at you for forgetting to hand in that one group project on time, causing the whole group to get in trouble; or maybe it was the universe getting back at you for not helping that one crying kid that one time while running to the bus after school, but what were you supposed to do? Stay with the clearly upset kid and miss your only bus? 
No, you obviously did what anyone else would’ve done in that situation and got on the bus.
Well, maybe it wasn’t the only bus and you probably would’ve made it on that bus even if you checked on the crying kid; but was this type of punishment really necessary? Wasn’t placing Lee Heeseung in the seat next to you enough? You already suffered thanks to the boy seated next to you every day, you had already begged the universe for forgiveness for that one time - so why were you being paired up with Heeseung for one of the most important projects of the year?
‘’Heeseung clearly shows great knowledge surrounding this subject, and your essay about it last year was astonishing Y/N,’’ The older woman's voice brought you out of your daze, hoping that the universe would’ve heard the prayers that ran through your mind by the time you opened your eyes; but with Heeseung still sitting across from you, his big eyes piercing into your soul, you realized that the universe wasn’t going to forgive you anytime soon.
You should’ve known what was about to come when your teacher told both you and Heeseung to stay behind after class, asking both of you to sit down in front of her desk. At first, you thought she was going to scold you for sending death glares Heeseung’s way every time he opened his mouth, or even better - maybe she was going to scold Heeseung, you never would’ve sent him death glares if he never opened his mouth in the first place after all.
You were mentally preparing yourself to blame everything on Heeseung the second your teacher sat down in her chair, your fingers nervously playing with the strap of your bag as your teacher cleared her throat. I’m sorry for my behavior, teacher, but he’s making it hard for me to focus when he’s constantly talking and I’m sure everyone else feels the same way hence why I feel like it’s my responsibility as his seatmate to make sure he’s not disturbing any-
‘’I’m sure you’re both aware of the upcoming project.’’
Oh. 
She wasn’t going to scold you, no, this was about something completely different. Something so much more terrifying.
With your teacher still explaining to you why you and Heeseung would make such an incredible pair for this particular project, you inhaled through your nose before clearing your throat, your gaze shifting over to the older woman sitting in front of you; flashing her a forced smile. 
‘’I’m sorry, miss, but is working in pairs really necessary? I mean, just like you said, Heeseung clearly shows great knowledge about this particular subject,’’ You began speaking, almost gagging as you unwillingly complimented Heeseung. ‘’And I don’t mean to flatter myself, but I have some decent knowledge about it as well, so I don’t really see why it would be necessary for us to work together.’’
You stared at your teacher in anticipation as you finished speaking, holding your breath as you waited for her to speak. 
It was true, you truly didn’t understand why you would have to work with him. You knew you’d be able to do this project on your own and you knew Heeseung was perfectly capable of doing it on his own as well, so you two working together just didn’t make any sense to you.
‘’I understand where you’re coming from and I’m not doubting your knowledge, Y/N,’’ Your teacher let out, offering you a small smile in return. ‘’But I truly believe both of you could benefit from working together.’’
It felt like someone had punched you in the stomach as soon as the words left her lips. You, benifiting from working with Heeseung? No, there was no such thing. Your forced smile slowly faded away, leaning back in your chair as a frown replaced the smile that had previously sat on your lips.
‘’It sounds like a great idea to me.’’ 
Heeseung's irksome voice caused you to look over at him once again, having to hold back a curse from leaving your throat in annoyance as your eyes landed on the lanky boy. With his eyes glued to the teacher sitting next to him, a big smile formed on his lips; like he found the situation delightful - when in reality, there was nothing delightful about the situation, not even a little bit. 
Your teacher offered Heeseung a warm smile, nodding her head. ‘’Then it’s decided, you’ll do it together.’’
You just hoped that the unpleasant expression plastered on your face didn’t go unnoticed by Heeseung.
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”I’ll do the whole project.”
You had followed Heeseung out of the classroom after saying bye to your teacher, the smile you had worn in an attempt to conceal how unsatisfied you were with her decision fading away as soon as you turned around to walk after the lanky boy; a sigh of annoyance leaving your lips as you sped up to catch up with your seatmate.
Your words clearly took Heeseung by surprise, his eyes wide and his eyebrows slightly furrowed together as he turned around to look at you. You just stared at him, leaning your upper body against the lockers beside you; the shocked expression on his face remaining.
“What?” His words came out shaky, not expecting you to follow him and he did most definitely not expect you to place your body against his locker, preventing him from accessing his own locker. You sighed, “Are you deaf? I said I’ll do the project, don’t worry, I’ll hand it in on time.”
Heeseung just continued to stare at you, his lips now slightly parted. “On your own? No, absolutely not! Did you not listen to a single word that the teacher told us? It’s a group project,” He let out, shaking his head as he spoke. Yet another sigh left your lips, this one much more dramatic, followed by you rolling your eyes.
Not even two minutes into your first ever official conversation with the boy and he was already annoying you.
“I’m not stupid, okay? I can handle it, just leave it to me.” You defended yourself, emphasizing the ‘stupid’. 
“I never said you were,” He looked down at the books you were holding in your hands, “But judging by the way you brought your biology book to history class, I think you might need some he-“ 
Heeseung stopped himself from speaking as his eyes landed on your stern, clearly unamused face. 
Maybe he said a little too much.
You just stared at him as he pressed his lips into a thin line, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck as his eyes darted away from your figure in an attempt to ease the sudden tense atmosphere. “If you’re done being an asshole, I need to go get started on this project since I’m so stupid.”  You had already turned around, already a few feet away from the boy when you heard him sigh from behind you.
“No, Y/N, wait!” Your eyes went wide for a second when you felt his cold hand come into contact with your wrist, your steps coming to a halt as his firm grip prevented you from taking another step. You quickly turned around, coming face to face with Heeseung, who was still holding onto your wrist, once again. 
If looks could kill, Heeseung was sure he’d be dead by now. 
With your eyes narrowed as you stared at him, a sigh left his lips as he ran his hand through his hair; the grip he had on your wrist slowly loosening before ultimately letting your wrist go completely - your arm falling down your side.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, it’s just, it’s a group project,” He let out, his hand resting at the nape of his neck. You just stared at him for a moment, not believing the audacity of the boy standing before you. 
”Well, I don’t think we can work together. Go ask the teacher to assign you a new partner or something.” You let out after a moment of silence, a moment of Heeseung staring at you in anticipation; nervously waiting for you to respond. You were about to turn around once more, feeling done with the conversation; hoping that he’d actually listen to you and talk to the teacher about switching partners when a groan suddenly emerged from the taller boy's throat.
”No,” He shook his head, “I want to work with you Y/N.”
A dry chuckle trailed off your lips as you shook your head in response. “It didn’t sound like it a minute ago when you called me stupid.”
Another groan left Heeseung’s throat, the sarcastic tone lingering behind your words almost causing him to roll his eyes. Judging by the way you were already clearly annoyed with him, he decided it would be for the best if he didn’t; if he wanted to live another day, that being said.
“I said I’m sorry!” He exclaimed in defense, throwing his hands up in the air. You almost scrunched your nose in disgust at the scene in front of you, only finding him more and more annoying the more he spoke. “Whatever, are we done here or is there another insult you’ve been wanting to tell me?” You muttered, your eyes still narrowed as you stared at the dark-haired boy.
Heeseung just stared back at you for a moment. He wondered if you had just woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning or if his words actually pissed you off that much, fighting the urge to ask you which of the two options had you in such a foul mood.
‘’Look Y/N,’’ He began speaking, pushing his glasses further up his nose using his pointer finger, “I insist. I’m sorry we got off to a bad start, but I can’t let you do this whole project on your own.”
Got off to a bad start? You almost let out a chuckle as the words left his lips, was he really that oblivious? ‘’Plus, think about it, I think we both could benefit from working together, no?’’
You pressed your lips into a thin line, your gaze darting over to look at something other than him while thinking about what he had just said. 
There was absolutely nothing in it for you, besides possibly growing to hate Lee Heeseung even more than you already did. There was nothing Heeseung could possibly help you with, you knew you would be able to do the project, if not even better, on your own; history was one of the few subjects you were really good in, after all.
‘’How?’’ You asked after a while, your eyes darting back to the boy standing in front of you once again. He raised one of his eyebrows, tilting his head as he gave you a questioning look. ‘’How what, exactly?’’ He questioned, repeating your words. You let out a sigh, inhaling air through your nose in an attempt to stay calm. ‘’Yeah, like how would we possibly benefit anything from working together?’’
His lips formed into an ‘o’ shape as he realized what you meant, causing you to frown as you watched his facial expression go from a puzzled to an understanding one. 
He might’ve looked smart and his grades definitely proved that he was, but when it came to interacting with another human being; God, was he awful. 
A hum left Heeseungs lips as he thought about your question - now that he understood what you meant by your simple ‘how’. 
‘’It’s the most important project of the year, almost our whole grade literally depends on this project,’’ He began speaking, almost like he was educating you; earning yet another stare from you, patiently waiting for him to continue his sentence.
Heeseung just stared back at you for a moment, wondering if you understood the importance of this project. Your blank stare made it hard for him to tell if you understood or not, but considering how your teacher had brought up the importance of this project multiple times during the year he just assumed you knew; clearing his throat before you could accuse him of calling you stupid, again. 
‘’So I just think that if we put both our knowledge together, we’d do a better job compared to how we’d do if we did it separately,’’ He continued, ‘’She wouldn’t put us in the same group if she didn’t think it was for the best, right?’’
You kept your eyes on him as the last words trailed off his lips, a low chuckle escaping your lips as you scanned his facial expression; his bottom lip placed in between his teeth by the time he finished speaking.
Still believing this was the universe’s way of punishing you for all your sins, you refused to believe that your teacher paired you and Heeseung up for the sake of your grade. If anything, your seatmate was going to be the downfall of your grades; considering how you wouldn’t last a minute working with him. ‘’If you needed my help that bad you should’ve just said so.’’
Your words almost caused Heeseung’s jaw to hit the floor, his eyes widening in disbelief. Did you just disrespect his knowledge, the knowledge he so proudly bragged about every time he received yet another perfect grade? 
‘’What? I don’t need your help!’’ He let out, stumbling over his own words as he tried to defend himself and most importantly - his pride.
A small smile formed on your lips as you watched the flustered boy in front of you. Of course Heeseung, the top student, didn’t need your help to get this project done; you knew that. But you couldn’t help but let the words leave your lips as you watched how nervously he chewed on his bottom lip, looking like he was getting ready to start begging you to work with him.
You also eventually figured out the reason behind his stubbornness. He didn’t necessarily want to work with you, but he wanted the grade that would come with him working with you. He knew that by working with you and doing the project together, you’d put the things he already knew into a new perspective and it would definitely get him a higher grade; especially since your teacher was the one who wanted you two to work together in the first place.
‘’I could totally do this whole project on my own! But it’s a group project and it’s not fair if only one of us does the whole project, not that I wouldn’t be able to do it on my own, but I just t-’’
‘’What’s in it for me?’’ His lips remained parted for a second, not a single word leaving his lips as you abruptly interrupted his rambling. He then pressed his lips back into a thin line, confusion once again taking over the flustered expression he had just worn on his face. You just stared at him, shaking your head as he remained quiet. ‘’You clearly want me to work with you so you can get a better grade,’’ You continued.
Heeseung’s lip once again parted, bringing both his hands up in the air; about to defend himself - about to deny the obvious. He, however, never got the chance to utter as much as a single noise as your voice once again filled his ears. ‘’But what’s in it for me?’’
He just started at you, making you wonder if that’s what he always did whenever he spoke to someone considering he had only taken his eyes off you for a split second during your conversation; his doe eyes staring right at you starting to make you feel slightly uncomfortable. ‘’Well,’’ He hummed, realizing there was no point in denying the truth, ‘’A better grade, I suppose?’’
You clicked your tongue against the roof of your mouth, shaking your head. ‘’That won’t do.’’ You replied, causing Heeseung to frown. ‘’What do you mean?’’ He asked, his head now slightly tilted. ‘’I know that I could achieve the very same grade, if not better, by working on my own. So working with you is technically only a hassle for me,’’ Your words caused Heeseung to mutter out a low ‘ouch’ under his breath as you continued speaking.
‘’So, what’s in it for me if we do work together?’’ The frown remained plastered on Heeseung’s face as you finished speaking, now slightly tilting your head as you waited for him to speak.
Heeseung, however, remained silent. He kept his eyes on you as he tried to think of something, anything, that you could get out of working with him; besides a better grade, that being said. With his bottom lip once again placed in between his teeth, a low groan escaped his throat as he realized there was absolutely nothing in it for you besides a better grade. Tearing his eyes off of you, a sigh escaped his lips as he shut his eyes.
He couldn’t believe he had to bargain with you in order for you to do the project with him.
‘’I’ll do anything you want.’’ Your lips parted in surprise, your eyes slightly widening as the sudden words left his mouth. 
Any normal person would just simply ask their teacher to switch partners if the other person showed clear dissatisfaction with the thought of being paired up together. Heeseung, however? No, not when his whole grade was on the line.
You knew Heeseung would do anything for a good grade, even though he didn’t even have to try most of the time. But considering the fact that this project was important and as he had previously told you, your whole grade depended on this project; you knew the opportunity of you two working together was his best bet on getting the highest grade possible. Even though you were aware of how important he found his grades, you couldn’t help but wonder - was he really that desperate?
‘’Anything?’’
‘’Absolutely anything.’’
Heeseung regretted his decision the second the words left his lips and his eyes fluttered open, once again landing on your face. The smug grin you wore on your lips made him want to sink through the ground; realizing what he had just agreed to. ‘’Like, absolutely anything?’’ You repeated, your smile only growing bigger as you realized you could practically make the poor boy do anything judging by how desperate he looked with his big doe eyes staring into your own.
‘’Yes! Like, absolutely anything!’’ He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose as he placed the other hand on his hip; something that almost made you cringe, and it probably would’ve - if you weren’t too caught up in the fact that your annoying seatmate, Lee Heeseung, just told you he’d do anything in order for you to work on the group project with him.
‘’Deal.’’ You let out, extending your right hand for him to shake. Heeseung just stared at your hand for a moment, the hand that had been pinching the bridge of his nose falling down his side as his gaze met yours once again. ‘’What? You haven’t even told me what I’m supposed to do yet, how can we make a deal if I don’t even k-’’
Heeseung fell silent the second he felt you grab his hand, rolling your eyes as you shook his hand; his lips parting in utter surprise at your unexpected action, the feeling of your smaller hand wrapping around his own causing his heart to skip a beat - from the shock of you so carelessly grabbing his hand, of course, nothing else. 
‘’Let’s get this over with as soon as possible, yeah? Let’s meet up tomorrow and figure out what we should write about,’’ You spoke, interrupting the now clearly appalled boy standing in front of you as you continued shaking his hand. ‘’But,’’ Heeseung managed to stutter out, eyes wide as he watched you shake his hand. ‘’Great! I’ll meet you in the library tomorrow after class,’’ 
By the time Heeseung had managed to tear his gaze off your hands, you had already let his hand go and were now making your way down the hallway with your back turned towards him. Heeseung, however, kept his hand extended as his lips parted; watching you make your way down the hallway, feeling dumbfounded by what had just happened. 
What did he just agree to?
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The clock that decorated Heeseungs wrist hit 2:30 PM, and you were still nowhere to be seen.
Your class ended at 2 PM sharp the following day, and by 2:03 PM Heeseung found himself sitting in the library; his eyes scanning the room from the table he was sitting at as he waited for you to arrive.
Heeseung was an understanding man. He considered himself to be a very compassionate and generous person, which is why he understood why you weren’t in the library by the time he arrived. He had seen you talking to your friends right before class ended after all, or maybe the hallways were packed and stopped you from getting to the library as soon as possible, or maybe the teacher wanted to share a word with you. Whatever it was that was making you late, Heeseung understood and it wasn’t like he actually expected you to be there the second you got out of class; unlike himself.
Well, maybe a part of him did expect you to be there when he walked in. Another thing you had yet to find out about Heeseung was that while he was definitely an understanding person, he was also a time pessimist. 
And with you now being almost thirty minutes late to your scheduled meeting, the meeting that you had scheduled, Heeseung began to grow anxious as his eyes landed on the watch he wore around his wrist for the nth time that day. Heeseung valued his time, especially his study time, and you being this late caused the boy to almost grow aggravated as his foot repeatedly tapped against the floor; his eyes now glued to the clock as he counted each second that passed.
Heeseung tried being an understanding person, and he was willing to wait until the clock hit the thirty-minute mark for you to show up. But with the clock now being exactly 5 seconds away from hitting 2:31 PM, he could no longer force himself to be the bigger person; a low sigh escaping his lips as he watched the clock tick. You had wasted his precious time, and he was not willing to waste any more of it by waiting for you to show up.
‘’Why did you have to pick this table? I had to walk around the entire library looking for you,’’
Your sudden voice followed by your bag landing on top of the table in front of him almost caused Heeseung to jump out of his seat, missing as his watch hit 2:31 PM when his eyes landed on you instead. Heeseung kept his eyes glued on you, his lips parting in surprise as a sigh left your lips, watching you sit down in the chair in front of him.
The boy, however, never replied to your question. Raising one of your brows, your gaze landed on the lanky boy; immediately spotting the sour look on his face. You didn’t know whether or not to laugh at the displeased look plastered on his face, his lips pressed into a thin line as stared right back at you; or if you should be concerned, considering that you had never seen him look so disappointed before.
‘’What’s with the long face? Have you suddenly gone mute or why aren’t you saying anything?’’
Maybe your wishes of Heeseung losing his ability to speak somehow finally got fulfilled.
‘’You’re late.’’
Or maybe not. A groan left your lips before you ran your hand through your hair, rolling your eyes at the boy sitting with his arms crossed in front of you before leaning back in your chair; mimicking his actions by crossing your own arms over your chest.
‘’By like, 30 minutes,’’
‘’Exactly! 30 whole minutes, that’s a lot of time! I could’ve finished my biology homework by now if you showed up on time!’’ With his arms now waving in the air as he tried explaining to you why thirty minutes was a lot of time, you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the boy once again. ‘’I just had to stop by the cafeteria to buy myself something to drink, I’m sorry! It’s not my fault that the line was so long!’’
Now it was Heeseungs turn to roll his eyes, ‘’Why didn’t you just skip getting a drink when seeing that the line would take a while? You knew you’d be late!’’
His argument earned him yet another eye roll from you, ‘’Would you rather me be 30 minutes late to our study date or die of dehydration?’’
‘’You wouldn’t even die of dehydration, unless you haven’t had a drink in about a week which I strongly doubt you haven’t because if you hadn’t you wouldn’t even be functioning right n-’’
A loud groan coming from you interrupted Heeseung’s lecture, his lips still parted with his hands still in the air as he stared at you. ‘’God, Heeseung! You’re so annoying, you know that, right?’’ You spat at him, shaking your head as you spoke. Heeseung just stared at you, letting out a huff before leaning back in his chair; crossing his arms over his chest once again before looking over at the bookshelf placed behind you. ‘’Says the girl who wasted 30 minutes of my precious time.’’
You stared at the boy seated in front of you in disbelief. Just when you didn’t think your dear seatmate could get any more annoying, he proved you wrong by showing you the most disturbing sulking face you had ever seen, his stern face accompanied by a small pout on his plump lips almost making you shudder in repulsion; like your whole body was rejecting just the sight of Lee Heeseung sulking.
‘’You’re only wasting more of your so-called precious time by sulking.’’ You muttered after taking in the sight in front of you, the shock of seeing Heeseung sulking leaving you dumbfounded for a moment; tearing your eyes off the boy in front of you to open up your backpack to retrieve your laptop.
Heeseung’s gaze landed on you, watching as you opened up your laptop; not a single word leaving his lips, a frown taking over his face as he realized he had actually been sulking. Oh god, he had actually sulked in front of you.
The two of you remained quiet after Heeseung cleared his throat in an attempt to somewhat ease the atmosphere, his cheeks heating up in embarrassment, hiding his face by fiddling with the backpack he had placed next to his chair; praying that his hair actually covered the crimson color that had begun to spread across his cheeks.
‘’So,’’ You were the first one to speak, tearing your eyes away from your laptop; your eyes landing on the boy in front of you once more. As your eyes met his, Heeseung just hoped that his flushed cheeks had gone back to normal, not wanting to embarrass himself even further by letting you see him flustered. ‘’Any ideas of what we could write about?’’
Heeseung parted his lips, a feeling of relief washing over him as you just stared at him; not saying anything about his flushed cheeks. Maybe it wasn’t as noticeable as he thought. ‘’Oh,’’ He let out after a few seconds of just blankly staring at you, only speaking when you raised one of your eyebrows as you waited for him to respond. ‘’I was thinking we could write about the economic impact of the Titanic sinking?’’
Oh my god.
Was he actually serious right now?
You just stared at him, scanning his face as you tried to figure out if he was actually serious or not. But by the way his big, deer-like eyes were only staring innocently right back at you, you realized he was in fact serious. Oh god, he was actually serious. ‘’Don’t tell me you’re being serious?’’
Heeseung raised both his eyebrows at your question, his big eyes glistering under the extremely bad lighting of the library. ‘’What? Why wouldn’t I be? It’s a very interesting topic! You know, it impacted the economy pretty badly,’’ He began explaining, your eyes fluttering shut as soon as the words left his mouth; pressing your lips into a thin line before taking a deep breath through your nose. If you didn’t stop him right there and then, he would probably go on an hour-long rant about why and how the Titanic sinking impacted the economy.
‘’Heeseung.’’ 
‘’Almost all of the survivors and the families of the people who lost their lives sued the company, I can’t remember the exact number but we’re talking about millions and millions of dollars,’’
‘’Heeseung,’’
‘’I should know the exact amount of money though, what was it? Wait, let me look it up,’’
‘’Heeseung, I swear to God, if you say as much as another word about the Titanic I will personally sue you for emotional damage.’’ Heeseung had already begun typing on the keyboard of his laptop as the words left your mouth, his fingers stopped typing as he looked away from the screen of his laptop and up at you; his eyes widening.
This was the second time Heeseung felt like if looks could kill, he’d be buried 6 feet under the ground right now. It had only been approximately 24 hours since the two of you shared your first proper conversation despite being seatmates for months, yet he felt like you had wanted to kill him twice during those 24 hours. 
Heeseung just gulped in response, his eyes darting back to the screen of his computer; anything to avoid the death glare you were sending him, moving the cursor to close the google tab he had opened up. He’d have to google that when he got home.
‘’How about something simple instead? Like the great depression or something?’’
‘’Isn’t that too easy?’’
You just stared at the boy in front of you, causing him to throw both hands up into the air. ‘’Alright, the great depression it is!’’ He let out, keeping his hands in the air; scared that if he complained one more time you’d actually kill him. ‘’Thank you for finally cooperating, I almost thought you weren't capable of cooperating for a while.’’ You muttered, your eyes landing on the screen of your laptop once more as your fingers ghosted over the keyboard, creating a new document for you and your annoying seatmate.
Heeseung was about to say something in protest, something about how you were the one who had arrived late and picking the most basic topics, when he realized it was probably for the best for him to keep quiet; unless he wanted you to lash out on him again.
What had he possibly done for you to be so annoyed with him?
‘’Great, now we have a topic,’’ You mumbled under your breath, Heeseung watching as your brows slightly furrowed together as you focused on something on your laptop. ‘’And for time and place?’’ Your eyes met his once again, his head slightly tilted to the side; something you had noticed he did quite a lot whenever he got confused.
He remained silent, causing you to hold back a sigh. ‘’So we can work on the project, what time and what days should we meet up?’’ You clarified, not that your original question needed clarifying; but considering how the boy seated in front of you had no idea how to have a basic conversation, you realized you would have to clarify a lot of things the next couple of weeks. 
‘’Right,’’ Heeseung let out as he realized what you meant, ‘’I’m free after school on Mondays and Thursdays, if that works for you?’’
Free from doing what exactly? Researching the economic impact the Titanic had from sinking?
‘’That works for me,’’ You nodded, ‘’Let’s meet by your locker, and then head to the library to study, yeah? That way you don’t have to look like an idiot while waiting for me if I end up running late again.’’
Heeseung almost let out a whine at the mention of you running late again. He had hoped that you had learned your lesson by making him sulk in front of you, but your words proved him wrong; the thought of you making him waste another thirty minutes of his life waiting for you almost caused a groan to leave his throat in frustration. But he didn’t, only muttering out a low ‘right’, not wanting to annoy you even further.
You nodded your head, before shutting your computer; the sound of your laptop shutting close causing Heeseungs gaze to land on you again, confusion washing over him as he watched you out your laptop back into your backpack. ‘’Wait,’’ He let out, ‘’What are you doing? Aren’t we going to study?’’
You let out a chuckle as you closed your backpack, swinging it over your shoulder before standing up. ‘’It’s almost 3 o’clock, I have to get home,’’ You responded, putting the chair you had just been sitting in closer to the table. Heeseung watched your every movement, his lips parted as he watched you get ready to leave. ‘’But we haven’t even gotten anything done!’’
You just shrugged, ‘’I’m sorry, but I only had an hour to spare.’’
Heeseung just stared at you in disbelief. ‘’But you’ve only been here for, what, fifteen minutes?’’ He stuttered, the chuckle emerging from your throat taking him by surprise. ‘’Sorry, the amount of time it took for me to get a drink is also calculated into that time,’’
Frowning, Heeseung wanted to press his forehead against the table in front of him. It wasn’t his fault that you ended up being late, so why were you punishing him for it by not even studying like you had originally planned to do? The least you could do was at least stay for a while longer, just to make sure you got at least something done, not just deciding the topic. But it seemed like you weren’t going to do that, leaving Heeseung in despair.
‘’But I promise I’ll be on time next time! I’ll see you Thursday!’’
And just like that, you left Heeseung sitting in the same chair he had been sitting in for almost an hour now; waving as you walked further away. Heeseung just stared at you, watching as you spun around; a frown still plastered on his face. His forehead hit the table the second you walked out of the library, his eyes tightly shut as he let out a low groan, hoping that the rest of the people in the library didn’t hear him groaning in annoyance. 
Not only had you wasted his valued time, but he also never got the chance to ask you about what you wanted him to do for you to work with him.
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To Heeseung’s surprise, you actually kept your promise.
When Thursday rolled around and your last class of the day was coming to its end, Heeseung was fully prepared for you to just leave him hanging again. This time, however, he had promised himself that he’d only wait for you for a maximum of fifteen minutes, no more; especially not thirty minutes like last time. He wasn’t going to let you waste his time like that again, not when he had more important things to do rather than standing around, waiting for his seatmate.
So when you actually showed up at his locker only two minutes after he got there, he was taken aback. He had prepared himself for you being late, he even come up with the bright idea of cleaning his locker while waiting for you, which was much needed considering the amount of paper taking up all the space in his already small locker; making it hard for him to fit his books in there the more papers he gathered, only to dump them in his locker.
But it seemed like cleaning his locker would have to wait as you actually showed up on time, holding your laptop in one of your hands and a history book in the other; ready to start working.
Not only had you surprised Heeseung, but Heeseung had surprised you as well. You had mentally prepared yourself for an hour consisting of listening to Heeseung ramble about things that were completely irrelevant, things that would make you want to rip your hair out in annoyance; things that would make it incredibly hard for you to get anything done.
But you didn’t even have to set any rules, you didn’t tell him to be quiet and only talk to you if he had something to ask or say about the project, that him talking would only prevent you from getting any work done which you knew would annoy him as well; because twenty minutes into your study session, he had yet to utter a single word.
No, he kept his eyes glued to the screen the second he opened his laptop; his brows slightly furrowed together as the screen of his laptop reflected in his glasses. Like the computer had sucked him into a completely different world, his lips remained sealed as you discreetly watched him read something in the reflection of his glasses. Not that he would have noticed that you were staring at him, whatever he was reading had clearly captivated him.
No rambling, no unnecessary remarks, no nothing; he was just simply quiet. Almost too quiet.
And you started to believe that maybe, just maybe, the universe had finally heard your prayers and decided to forgive you for your sins; showing you its gratitude by letting you have one day where you wouldn’t have to lose your mind over Lee Heeseung talking.
He wasn’t so bad when he kept his mouth shut.
You would think that the quietness would make it easier for you to focus on the project, but twenty minutes in and the document still remained blank; besides a few names and random dates that Heeseung had written down at the bottom of the page for him to remember for later, watching as he switched in between tabs, the sound of him typing on his keyboard filling the room before he went back to reading once again.
There was something else clouding your mind, making it hard for you to focus on the project as the only thing you could seem to think about was what you were supposed to tell Heeseung to do for you working with him.
You found yourself lost in your own thoughts as you thought about it. You had been delighted when Heeseung first proposed the idea of him doing anything you want in order for you to work with him, ideas running through your mind; maybe this was your chance to get him to stop both embarrassing you and getting on your nerves during class. Maybe this was your chance of turning Lee Heeseung into an actual endurable seatmate.
You could forbid him from talking in class ever again, you thought, or maybe you could force him to do something so bizarre the teacher would have to change the seats around. Or maybe he didn’t have to do anything bizarre, maybe he could just ask the teacher to change the seats around; but what would be the fun in that, especially after the hell he’s unknowingly put you through day in and day out?
But the more you thought about it, the more idiotic did your options seem. You knew you couldn’t forbid him from talking in class, you knew he had to speak in class; you might be praying for Lee Heeseungs downfall, but you knew better than to play with his grades like that. The teacher had also made it very clear that she wouldn’t be changing the seats anytime soon and that we would just have to live with it after multiple groans and complaints had left the student's lips after her decision was announced.
So with your options being ripped apart one by one, you were left with nothing. Which meant you had no idea what to tell Heeseung.
You weren’t sure for how long you had been in your thoughts, but the sound of Heeseung suddenly humming snapped you out of your daze; blinking as you realized you had been zoning out for a little too long.
At first, you thought he was humming to get your attention; maybe he noticed that you still hadn’t written anything as the page was still blank and was going to ask you about it, or possibly make some smart remark about how he already knew everything the page he was on was telling him - something typical coming from Heeseung. 
But he wasn’t trying to get your attention, no, he was humming a song.
You slightly furrowed your brows as you realized he was in fact humming the tune of a song, your eyes now fully fixed on him. His eyes remained glued to the screen of his laptop, the reflection in his glasses letting you know that he was still reading. You parted your lips like you were getting ready to say something, but remained silent as you continued to listen to him quietly humming.
‘’What song are you humming?’’ You spoke, the first time you spoke since you first sat down; the first time any of you spoke, as a matter of fact. Heeseung quickly looked up at you, his eyes big as his lips parted; his humming coming to an abrupt end. ‘’What?’’ He let out, causing a small chuckle to trail off your lips. ‘’The song you were humming just now, what song was it?’’
Heeseung just stared at you, his lips still parted. ‘’Oh,’’ He mumbled, a small smile spreading across his lips and you think it’s the first time you’ve ever actually seen him smile. You couldn’t help but let your eyes dart down to his pink lips, his teeth slightly showing as the corner of his lips curled into a small smile; one of his hands awkwardly rubbing the nape of his neck.
His smile almost caused you to frown, because why was his smile so pretty? 
You never thought that Lee Heeseung would have a pretty smile, but with his pearly white teeth showing you couldn’t help but think just that - that Lee Heeseung did in fact have a pretty smile. ‘’I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry if I disturbed you,’’ He stuttered, looking down at his lap in another attempt to hide the crimson color spreading across his cheeks. This time, however, you noticed his flushed cheeks. 
‘’No,’’ You let out, almost too quickly, ‘’You didn’t. It sounded like a good song, I mean, you sounded good.’’
Oh, God. 
There was no way you actually just complimented him.
Your sudden compliment caused Heeseung to look back up at you, the shy smile he had flashed you slowly fading away and you suddenly felt like hiding your face in the palms of your hands. You weren’t sure if you somehow offended him, judging by the way his smile had now faded away completely; not that a compliment like that usually offended anyone, but you had established the fact that Heeseung didn’t work like other people a long time ago.
‘’Thank you,’’ He managed to get out after a moment of suspenseful silence, his cheeks now feeling hotter than ever as he tried biting back another smile from spreading across his lips. ‘’I can show you the song later, if you want me to of course!’’ He stammered.
You nodded in response, flashing him a small smile before returning your gaze to the screen of your computer in an attempt to ease the now stiff atmosphere; feeling awkward from the situation that had just played out. No, awkward wasn’t even the right word to describe how you felt, you felt like you wanted to sink through the ground.
Why would you ever compliment him like that?
Heeseung, however, kept his eyes on you; biting down on his bottom lip as he watched you uncomfortably shifting around in your seat while clearing your throat. Had he made you feel awkward? Was he not supposed to tell you the song? Should he just go back to reading the article he was reading? Questions flooded his mind as he desperately tried figuring out a way to ease the awkwardness that had suddenly arisen, almost slightly panicking as the thought of him making you uncomfortable crossed his mind.
‘’Oh, wait,’’ 
Against your own will, your eyes darted back to the boy sitting in front of you, raising one of your eyebrows as you watched him bend over; the sound of him unzipping his bag causing you to feel slightly puzzled. ‘’I forgot,’’ He mumbled as he sat back upright, your eyes darting down to his hands; watching as he placed a drink on top of the table. ‘’I brought this for you this morning, so you wouldn’t have to die out of dehydration this time.’’
Your gaze softened as he mumbled out his words, almost making it impossible for you to hear what he was saying; but you did, and a part of you wished you hadn’t - because now it was your cheeks burning. 
You kept your eyes on the drink placed in front of the boy, his hand still loosely wrapped around the can; his eyes now focused on you, his bottom lip placed in between his teeth once more as he waited for you to respond. But your response never came, and Heeseung couldn’t tell if you were staring at the drink because you didn’t like it or because you found his gesture weird. 
‘’I’m sorry if you don’t like it, I wasn’t sure which one to get,’’ He stuttered, letting go of the drink as he spoke, ‘’I-if you don’t want it that’s completely fine, I can just drink, I’m sorry if it was weird of me t-’’
‘’Thank you, Heeseung.’’
Your soft words caused Heeseungs body to freeze in place. He was expecting you to snap at him, or groan, or maybe even roll your eyes, his already big eyes slightly widening in shock as your eyes met his. He stared into your eyes for a moment, searching for any type of sarcasm or maybe even annoyance; but he couldn’t find any, no, the soft look in your eyes telling him that you were actually being genuine. ‘’I really like that drink.’’
Heeseung felt his cheeks heat up once again, a small smile forming on his plump lips as his fingers wrapped around the drink again; sliding the drink over the wooden table. ‘’Good.’’ He managed to get out, speaking so quietly that he was sure you hadn’t even heard him. He watched as you wrapped your own fingers around the drink, a small smile forming on your own lips.
He had made you smile.
He was quick to return his gaze to the screen of his computer, his heart feeling like it was about to burst out of his chest if he looked at you for as much as another second.
With your fingers ghosting over the keyboard of your laptop, you realized that you most definitely weren’t going to get anything done today; not while Heeseung was sitting across the table.
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Heeseung made sure to buy one can of that drink every time the two of you were supposed to meet up by his locker after that. 
The first couple of times he had pulled the canned drink out of his bag, you had insisted that he shouldn’t, that he didn’t have to buy you a can every Monday and Thursday, and that you could just buy one yourself; but Heeseung refused.
He wanted to, because then he got to see your smile.
You had also became less hostile towards him. You hadn’t calling him annoying or rolled your eyes at him for almost two weeks now, a new record according to Heeseung, considering how often you did those two things the first couple of times you met with him. He had also made you laugh at one point, and Heeseung swore he had never blushed so hard in his entire life.
So he was going to keep on buying you that one canned drink, because you were friends now, and that’s what friends do for each other; right?
A sigh escaped your lips as you leaned against the lockers next to you, letting your upper body rest against the hard metal as you mindlessly scrolled through your phone. Heeseung had never in his entire life been late for anything, not even once; especially not your study sessions. He was always the first one to be there, you would always spot his tall, lanky figure standing by his locker whenever you turned the corner to go met him. 
This time, however, Heeseung hadn’t been standing there as you turned the corner.
You just assumed he was using the restrooms when you first arrived, knowing that he would never be late; looking back to the first time you went to meet him in the library, remembering his sulking face after he told you you had wasted his precious time - a chuckle threatening to leave your lips at the memory. You were running a few minutes late to your now weekly meet-up anyways, so you just figured that he went to do something else while he waited for you, like using the restroom for example.
But when you had been standing there for ten minutes and Heeseung was still nowhere to be seen, you realized that wasn’t the case.
You had looked around, wondering if maybe he was just lurking somewhere nearby. You checked the end of the hallway, the empty classrooms thinking maybe he got held up after class, peaking into the boy's restroom - only to find it empty. With Heeseung still nowhere to be seen, you returned to his locker with a frown plastered on your face; deciding that you’d just stay by the lockers to see if he showed up.
Now, thirty minutes later, Heeseung was still nowhere to be seen. You had already scrolled through your entire Instagram feed, checked all your friend's stories and Heeseung still hadn’t shown up. A part of you began to grow worried, because since when was Heeseung ever late? He was never late, and the thought of something happening to him caused a weird feeling to spread across your chest.
The weird feeling caused you to stop scrolling on your phone, your thumb now lingering above the screen of your phone as you frowned. 
You couldn’t exactly pinpoint the exact moment you began tolerating, not to mention caring about the boy you swore you hated so much. Maybe it was that one day in the library when you had heard him humming, his warm voice almost causing goosebumps to form on the skin of your arms - or maybe it was when he had bought you a drink, you weren’t sure.
But you did know for a fact that you weren’t particularly fond of the sudden, new feelings you felt towards the boy. 
It confused you, how fast everything had changed. Just four weeks ago, you had felt like your whole world came crashing down around you when your teacher had asked you to work with Heeseung. Now, four weeks later, you found yourself laughing at something he said; something you four weeks ago could never see yourself doing. But most importantly, you found yourself enjoying his company.
Something that you thought wasn’t humanly possible.
‘’I am so, so sorry,’’
Heeseungs now familiar voice brought you out of your thoughts, the feeling that had spread across your chest slowly fading away as his voice echoed behind you; feeling like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. A small sigh of relief left your lips as you heard him walking towards you, your eyes still fixated on the screen of your phone as you turned around. 
‘’Is this your payback for that one time I made you wait for me?’’ You chuckled, feeling both relieved and slightly annoyed at him for making you wait for so long without giving you a heads up; you had given him your phone number after all so he could text you if anything came up, to avoid the library incident happening again. Your eyes left the screen of your phone, darting towards the figure walking towards you in the corner of your eye.
Nothing, however, could’ve prepared you for the sight you were about to see.
The smile that had formed on your lips when you first heard his voice slowly turned into your lips slightly parting, the grip you were holding on your phone tightening in an attempt for you not to drop it onto the floor; scared that you’d potentially crack the screen. If it wasn’t because you were leaning against the locker, you probably would’ve lost your balance.
With his dark hair dripping wet from just showering, covering his forehead and half of his eyes; he placed his hands on top of his thighs as soon as he reached you, desperately panting as he tried to catch his breath. ‘’I’m sorry,’’ He panted once again, his eyes meeting the floor. ‘’My gym teacher wanted to talk to me about my grades so I had to stay behind,’’
You, however, couldn’t make out a single word that was leaving his lips. With your lips still parted your now wide eyes scanned the boy standing in front of you, still trying his best to catch his breath; your eyes landing on his very, very veiny hands - a result of him sprinting through the school just to get to you.
With your heart now racing, your eyes landed on his face again.
What the fuck?
Without his glasses, he looked like a completely different person. The person standing in front of you didn’t resemble the annoying boy you had been sitting next to every day for months now one bit, no, he didn’t look like him at all. The boy standing in front of you now looked completely different, with the glasses you had once called hideous nowhere to be seen and his biceps exposed thanks to the t-shirt he was wearing, he looked so fucking attractive.
Heeseung must’ve noticed the way you stayed silent, looking up at you through his eyelashes; his eyebrows slightly furrowing together as he noticed the pale look on your face. ‘’Are you okay?’’ He asked, concern lingering in his voice.
No, fuck, you were the furthest thing away from being okay right now.
Standing up straight, he tilted his head, slightly narrowing his eyes so he could see you better. He wasn’t wearing his glasses after all. ‘’Are you upset with me? I’m sorry I’m so late, I promise I didn’t mean to keep you waiting for so long, do you still have time to study? It’s completely okay if you don’t, we can just reschedule it or just meet up on Monday instead,’’
He was rambling, and you couldn’t bring yourself to listen to him. Not right now, not when he was looking like this. ‘’No!’’ You managed to get out, almost stuttering as you spoke. Heeseung looked at you, his eyes slightly widening at your sudden exclaim; now scared that he had really upset you. You tore your eyes off of him, sucking air through your teeth, trying to calm your racing heart down.
Why were you suddenly feeling like this? Why was your heart racing?
‘’I can’t study today, at all,’’ You stuttered, your eyes still not meeting his as you cringed at yourself for sounding so pathetic by stumbling over your own words. ‘’I just came here to tell you that, I’m busy today, so I won’t be able to make it today,’’
Heeseung remained quiet, his eyes darting down to your now clenched fists, nervousness and confusion washing over him. You had lashed out at him before, sure, but never like this; making the boy feel slightly anxious. The last thing he wanted was to upset you. 
He bit down on his lower lip as you continued to avoid his gaze by staring at the lockers on the other side of the hallway, Heeseung fighting the urge to take your hands in his to check if maybe you had hurt yourself and that’s why you were clenching your fists so hard. ‘’But, you could’ve just texted me, you didn’t have to wait for me, wasn’t standing here waiting for me only taking up more of your time?’’ He let out, confusion and slight hurt lingering behind hs words.
You had always hated how smart Heeseung was, but right now, you swore you hated it more than you had ever done before.
‘’It slipped my mind,’’ You mumbled, still refusing to look back at him; scared that your heart would burst if you looked at him one more time. Heeseung just nodded in response, his eyes darting around the empty hallway as he thought of what to say. ‘’Well, are you going anywhere? Let me give you a ride, it’s the least I can do since I kept you waiting for so lo-’’
‘’It’s fine, Heeseung, I’ll take the bus, I’ll see you on Monday, okay?’’
Before Heeseung could even reply, you had already stormed past him without even looking at him. Turning around, his lips parted as he thought of calling out to you; hesitating to do so as he watched you walk further down the hallway. His lips closed once again as he watched you turn the corner, disappearing out of his sight. 
With a heavy feeling in his chest and droplets of water dropping onto his shirt from not drying his hair properly, he wondered if he had hurt you by being late.
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Mondays had always been your favorite day, at least since Heeseung became your seatmate; purely because the two of you didn’t share any of the same classes on that particular day. It was no different today, you were beyond happy that you wouldn’t have to face Heeseung during any of your classes - but not for the reason you usually had.
No, this time it wasn’t because you wouldn’t have to listen to his pen hitting his desk over and over again, nor was it because you wouldn’t have to endure him embarrassing you by talking over the teacher like he always did.
You were scared, and you were scared shitless to face him.
You had rushed home after you had lashed out at him in the hallway, your heart still pounding when you laid down in the comfort of your own bed. You had refused to go to school the following day, making up some lie about not feeling too well - which in reality, wasn’t a lie. You didn’t feel too well, you didn’t feel well at all, truth to be told.
The thought of you and Heeseung actually getting along had already scared you, and the fact that your heart skipped a beat when you saw him only made things worse. You had never even considered Lee Heeseung remotely attractive before, you had always hated the way he styled his hair, the way it’d neatly cover his forehead; and most of all, you had always hated the horrid, round glasses he wore every day.
But seeing him like that, with his hair messily covering his forehead and without his glasses, and not to mention his smile, oh God, his smile; you realized that he was in fact attractive. No, he was more than just that - he was breathtaking.
Something you never thought you’d admit, nor was it something you ever wanted to admit. But whether you liked it or not, it was something you could no longer deny, even though you had spent the entire weekend trying to prove yourself wrong, to no avail: Lee Heeseung had made your heart skip a beat.
With your last class of the day coming to an end, you found yourself anxiously tapping your pencil against the wooden desk in front of you, a habit you swore you hated and most definitely picked up from Heeseung. The only difference was that Heeseung had told you that he always tapped to the beat of whatever song was stuck in his head when you had asked him about his annoying habit, while you very much just repeatedly tapped it against the table with no beat whatsoever.
You had considered texting him, letting him know that you wouldn’t be able to make it to today's study session either. But with the deadline coming up, you knew you couldn’t be that selfish; you had to get the project done sooner or later. And the faster the better, you thought, so you could go back to hating Lee Heeseung and never think about what the confusing feelings you currently felt towards the boy meant ever again.
Even though you had accepted your faith by the time your last class came to an end, it didn’t make it any easier for you to make your way down the hallway leading to Heeseungs locker. The anxiety you had felt the entire weekend only doubled when you were about to turn the corner, knowing that the second you turned that very corner, you’d be able to see the lanky boy standing further down the hallway.
You weren’t sure what to expect. You prayed that he was back to wearing his hair neatly and that he was wearing his glasses this time, that he’d look like he normally did; so you could be reminded of why you hated Lee Heeseung in the first place. Maybe you just needed a reminder for your confusing feelings to go away, maybe you were just confused because he had looked so different; you didn’t actually find him that attractive, right?
Wrong.
You were wrong.
With one step, you turned the corner you were so afraid of turning, and you swore your heart stopped beating the second your eyes landed on the spot where he usually stood when he waited for you.
His hair was indeed back to being neatly styled and his round glasses were perfectly placed on the bridge of his nose again just like you had hoped, so why the fuck did he still look so breathtaking?
This was the moment you were supposed to feel the heavy weight you had felt the entire weekend being lifted off your shoulders as you realized that you didn’t actually find Heeseung as attractive as you thought you did, you were supposed to feel all the anxiety slip away; so why did it feel like someone only added more weight onto your shoulders the second your eyes landed on him? 
Maybe you just needed to take a closer look.
Yeah, you definitely just needed to take a closer look.
‘’Hi,’’
Your voice definitely took Heeseung by surprise, his whole body slightly flinching as your voice came from beside him. Turning his whole body around, he looked at you; his eyes wide. ‘’Y/N? I didn’t think you’d show up today,’’ He managed to get out, his eyes still glued to you. You awkwardly smiled, shaking your head as you looked down at your shoes in an attempt to hide your now flushed face.
No, you definitely found him just as attractive, if not even more, up close.
‘’Yeah, me neither,’’ You chuckled, hoping that Heeseung would chuckle too. Only he didn’t. Instead, he remained quiet; only staring at you, not knowing what to say. 
Heeseung had spent the entire weekend thinking, just like you had done. He had left school shortly after you stormed off, his mind clouded as he drove home; wondering why you were so upset when you left. He couldn’t help but curse himself out, telling himself that if he only had texted you that he’d be late you wouldn’t have been so upset with him; or if he just would’ve told his teacher that he simply didn’t have the time to discuss his grade because he had other plans - he did find meeting you more important, after all.
There were many ways Heeseung could’ve avoided you being upset with him, and he hated himself for not thinking about all those things before actually upsetting you. But Heeseung knew there was no way he’d be able to change what had already happened, so he spent the weekend trying to figure out how to apologize to you instead of sulking about you potentially being disappointed in him.
But now that you were actually standing in front of him, it seemed like all of the ways he had thought of how to apologize suddenly never existed in the first place; his mind going completely blank.
‘’Do you still want to study today?’’ Your voice snapped Heeseung out of his thoughts, blinking as he realized he had been staring at you. Clearing his throat, he tore his eyes off of you; rubbing the nape of his neck as he tried his best not to become flustered by your eyes being on him. ‘’Y-yeah, but,’’ He stammered out, something he hadn’t done in a long time; he almost never stuttered around you anymore, he had become so comfortable around you to the point where he felt comfortable talking to you without having to think about what he said - something he never felt with anyone else.
‘’I was thinking, maybe we could go to my house instead of the library?’’
Heeseung regretted saying it the second the words trailed off his lips and his eyes landed on your face, the shocked expression on your face making him regret every life choice that led him to this very moment. ‘’To your house?’’
‘’Yeah, I just, have this thing coming up later tonight a-and it’d be a lot easier for me if I was already at my house when we’re done studying,’’ He let out, the unsure look on your face making him want to sink through the ground.
He was supposed to apologize to you for letting you down before inviting you to his house, not the opposite - his plan already failing miserably.
You just stared at him for a minute, causing Heeseung to grow even more anxious. He had gotten used to the look on your face whenever you were annoyed with him, but this one didn’t look anything like that look; no, it looked like something completely different and Heeseung couldn’t tell what you were feeling, making him even more nervous.
He was just about to tell you to just forget about it and that he could probably find a way to work around it, that you could just work on your project in the library like you always did; when your voice interrupted him.
‘’Sure,’’ You softly let out, so softly that Heeseung almost didn’t catch it. ‘’Sure?’’ He repeated, making sure that he heard you correctly. You nodded in response, a small smile spreading on your lips. ‘’We can do that.’’
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The car ride to his house was quiet, too quiet for your liking. But with Heeseung being focused on the road and with you staring at the window, you just couldn’t force yourself to say anything.
And neither could Heeseung. He thought that maybe this was his chance to apologize to you, maybe he wouldn’t get another opportunity today; considering how he knew you liked for him to be quiet whenever you were working. But with his fingers tapping against the steering wheel, the atmosphere felt far too awkward for him to utter a ‘sorry’. 
So he just decided he’d do it as soon as you reached his house, before the two of you started working on the project; letting you continue to observe the nature outside through the window, looking at you through the corner of his eye every now and then - a small smile forming on his lips each time.
Well, you had also planned on apologizing to him for storming off like that the previous week when you reached his house. But the atmosphere was just as tense when you placed yourself on top of his bed, your eyes scanning his room; taking in the space your dear seatmate lived in.
Just like you had expected, his room was neat. A little too neat. But then again, it looked just like you had pictured it; neat, just like Heeseung himself.
‘’I hope you’re okay with working on my bed, I don't have another chair,’’ He mumbled as he used his thumb to point to the desk placed in the corner of the room, your eyes landing on the one chair before nodding. ‘’Are you not working on the bed?’’ You asked, your eyes landing on the tall boy standing a few feet away. 
Heeseung looked over at you, gulping before opening his mouth to speak, ‘’I was planning on sitting by the desk, if that’s okay with you?’’ He asked, his eyes still glued to you. You bit down on your lower lip before nodding once more, your fingers nervously playing with the hem of your shirt. ‘’I mean, yeah, I just thought it'd be easier if we sat next to each other, if I need to get your opinion on something or anything,’’ You mumbled in response.
That was a lie. You could easily just send him whatever you needed to get his opinion on, but how were you supposed to comfortably apologize if he was sitting from across the room?
Luckily for you, Heeseung seemed to agree with your idea. ‘’No, yeah, you’re right, I’ll just sit on the bed with you.’’ He mumbled back, his eyes darting away from you as he used one of his hands to rub the back of his neck.
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So he did, placed with his back resting against the headboard of his bed and with his laptop placed on top of his thighs, he began working on the project; just like the two of you had planned.
You, on the other hand, just couldn’t focus; just like all the other times you had worked with Heeseung.
You had been too preoccupied stealing glances at him from above the screen of your laptop from the second he sat down in front of you to even open the shared document, the sight of him being too intriguing to even consider looking away.
While not so discreetly staring at the boy sitting in front of you, you realized two things. 
The first one being that you had no idea how to even bring up the subject, not knowing how to just suddenly apologize for something you didn’t even know if he cared about. 
The second thing being that you accepted the fact that you indeed found Lee Heeseung attractive. Too attractive for your own good - especially when he focused on something.
With his lip nudged in between his teeth and his brows furrowed together as he focused on whatever stood written on the screen of his laptop, you couldn’t help but scan his features. You wondered for a split second how you had never noticed how sharp his jawline was before, maybe because you never really looked his way as the mere sight of him used to be more than enough to make your blood boil; you weren’t sure. 
You also wondered why you had never paid more attention to his big, doe eyes before. His eyes were more than enough to make your heart skip a beat, not to mention whenever his pink lips would curl into a smile and the laugh you had learned to love would emerge from his throat.
No, you couldn’t do this anymore.
‘’Heeseung?’’
His name trailing fo your lips caused him to look up from his laptop, surprised to see your eyes already staring at him. He hummed in response, slightly tilting his head. You had to bite down on your bottom lip in order to control your breathing as his eyes met yours, inhaling through your nose before speaking, ‘’Can you take a look at this for me?’’
Heeseung offered you a soft smile, nodding his head as he sat up straight; getting ready for you to pass him your laptop so he could look at whatever you were referring to. But you had other plans it seemed, Heeseungs body freezing as he watched you crawl towards him - just to place your body in the tight space between his body and the wall.
His eyes widened as he felt your body press up against the side of his own, his breath hitching in his throat as he suddenly became aware of just how close you were to him. You had never been this close before, the closest you had ever been to him was the one time his hand accidentally brushed against yours while handing you a drink; that alone was enough to turn him into a stuttering mess.
But this? This was enough for him to lose his ability to speak for all eternity.
You, however, seemed completely unphased to Heeseung by the sudden closeness as you placed your laptop in your lap. Heeseung had to clear his throat as his eyes darted toward the screen of your computer, deciding not to say anything about how close you were to him. It made more sense for you to show him yourself, he thought, you probably didn’t mean anything by getting this close to him, right?
He watched as you moved the cursor across the screen, clicking on one of the tabs; an article now taking up the whole screen. Heeseung glanced over at you, sucking air through his teeth as he realized he would have to lean over you in order to actually make out what the text said. So he did, slowly leaning closer to the screen as he held his breath, wanting to get it over with as quickly as possible; before you had the chance to hear how his heart was racing.
‘’Oh, and Heeseung?’’ You let out after a moment, Heeseung only humming in response as he tried his best to focus on the text that stood written on the screen of your laptop, his eyes skimming through the text he couldn’t seem to make any sense of - maybe because he wasn’t actually concentrating. ‘’You remember how you told me you’d do anything for me to work with you on this project?’’
Heeseung gulped as he felt your breath fan across his neck as you spoke, ‘’Yeah?’’ 
‘’I want you to kiss me.’’
Almost choking on his own saliva, your words causing him to freeze; his eyes no longer skimming through the text.
He stayed still, feeling your eyes burning into his side profile as he remained in the same position, trying his best to comprehend the words that had just left your lips. You wanted him to kiss you?
Your warm hand coming into contact with the skin covering his cheek almost caused him to flinch, your hand gently cupping his cheek as you forced him to look at you. You swore that your heart almost stopped beating as soon as his big eyes met your own, his eyes wide and staring at you in pure shock. 
Your eyes darted between his eyes and his lips, your own bottom lip placed in between your teeth as your eyes landed on his plump, pink lips. The lips you had caught yourself staring at one too many times during these past few weeks.
Heeseung didn’t even get to fully comprehend the position he currently found himself in before he suddenly felt your soft lips press against his own.
The kiss was soft, Heeseung staring at you with wide eyes as he watched your eyes fluttering shut, your hand still placed on the side of his cheek as you gently pulled yourself towards him. Heeseung wanted to close his eyes, he wanted to kiss you back; but he just couldn’t. Instead, the shock of feeling your lips press against his own took over all his senses as he felt your thumb gently stroke his cheek, your lips still pressed against his own.
You quickly sensed that Heeseung wasn’t kissing you back, causing you to pull away; guilt overtaking you, had he not wanted you to kiss him?
Heeseung, however, almost let out a whine at the loss of contact. So he did what he deemed appropriate, bringing his own shaky hand towards your face; cupping your cheek before pulling you in for another kiss.
This time, his eyes fluttered shut as soon as he felt your lips press against his own again. He could tell that you wanted to kiss him just as bad by the way your other hand suddenly found its way to his other cheek, pulling him even closer to you; letting your lips mesh together.
Heeseung had never kissed anyone in his entire life. He had no idea how to kiss, he had no idea what to do with his hands nor did he know what to do with his mouth. So he let you press yourself against him, almost letting out a whine when your front teeth collided with your own, feeling embarrassed. The embarrassment, however, left the second he heard a giggle trail fo your lips before once again placing your lips on top of his.
He wanted to touch you, he wanted to bring you even closer to him, he wanted to feel more of you; his hand gripping onto the hair behind your ear as he forced you closer to him, your lips still leaving small pecks on top of his own. The whimper that left your lips when his fingers brushed through your hair, however, wasn’t something he had anticipated - causing the hair on his arms to stand upright.
Not once had he thought a whimper would make his heart melt, yet it did.
It also seemed like his fingers brushing through your hair caused you to want more as he suddenly felt you swiping your tongue across the bottom of his lip. Uncertain of what to do and slightly panicking, he pulled away; staring at you with wide eyes. You seemed to pick up on his uncertainty almost immediately, brushing your own fingers through his hair in an attempt to ease his nerves before pulling him back into a kiss.
Your attempt at easing his nerves definitely worked as he let your tongue enter his mouth, your wet muscle coming into contact with his own. Heeseung swore he could’ve let out a whine at the feeling of your tongue nudging his own while your lips moving in sync, gripping onto your hair even harder in an attempt to somewhat ground himself.
Him gripping onto your hair only seemed to fuel you on even further as he suddenly felt you move the laptop that he had placed in his lap before quickly moving his own as well, placing it in front of him before climbing onto his lap. You kept your lips attached to his own, both your hands now finding their way to his hair as you further deepened the kiss.
Heeseung still had no idea what to do, especially now that you were sitting on top of him, his heart only beating faster as he felt your hands leave his hair - only to grab onto his own. ‘’It’s okay, you can touch me,’’ You mumbled, guiding his hands towards your waist before placing them there, causing Heeseung to gulp as he grabbed onto the fabric of your shirt covering your waist.
You pressed your forehead against his own, his lips more plump than usual and his breathing heavier than usual from your shared kiss, his eyes meeting yours. ‘’Do you want me to take off my glasses?’’ He stuttered, scared that they were in the way of you kissing him.
You quickly shook your head as your hands found their way up the sides of his neck, cupping both his cheeks again. ‘’No, I want you to keep them on.’’
Heeseung was about to protest, but had no time to do so as you stole his next breath away by pressing your lips against his own once more. Not that he complained, the only thing he wanted right now was to kiss you, with glasses on or not - it didn’t matter to him as long as he got to feel your lips.
The kiss was quick to turn rough, Heeseung trying his best to copy what you were doing, moving his lips the same way you were moving yours. Heeseung couldn’t help but feel blood rush to the apples of his cheeks as he felt your breasts press against his chest, scrunching up even more fabric in his fists as he pulled you even closer.
It almost felt euphoric to him, having your tongue slip into his mouth and your lips meshing together. It felt unreal, almost like he was dreaming; until you grinding yourself against his crotch brought him back to reality.
Almost like a thunderbolt hit him, his whole body tensed up as his fingers let go if the fabric of your shirt - quickly placing his hands on top of your thighs. His hand landing on your thighs caused your slow movements to come to an abrupt end, pulling away from the kiss to look at him. 
With his big, doe eyes staring right back at you, the fingertips of his hands pressing into your clothed thighs, he shook his head.
Not because he didn’t want to feel your clothed core grinding on his own clothed crotch, God, no, there was nothing he’d rather feel right now. But he also knew that his euphoria would be short-lived if he let this go on any further, knowing that he most definitely wouldn’t be able to please you if it did end up going that far.
‘’I’m so sorry, I got carried away,’’ You mumbled, your hands slowly slipping away from his face and slightly using your knees to hover just above his crotch; Heeseungs eyes widening as the words left your lips. Why were you apologizing?
‘’No,’’ He let out as he grabbed onto your wrist before they left his face completely, ‘’I want to, Y/N,’’ His breathing was still uneven and he almost stumbled over his own words as he spoke, his eyes still staring into yours to show you that he was being genuine, wanting you to know that you hadn’t done anything wrong. Guiding your hands back onto his cheeks, he frowned.
You just stared at him, puzzled. ‘’So why are you saying no?’’ You whimpered, pressing your forehead against his. With a frown still plastered on his face, he felt his cheeks heat up once more as he realized how stupid he was about to sound.
‘’Because, I haven’t done this before, and I just, I want to be able to please you? I’m not saying that we’ll have sex, oh god, I mean, unless you want us to? I just want you to feel good too a-and I don’t think I’d be able to do th-’’
Heeseung didn’t even get the chance to continue his rambling before a small whine emerged from the back of his throat, suddenly feeling you press your lips right below his ear. 
The feeling of your wet lips pressing a soft kiss against his sensitive skin caused his eyes to flutter shut, the new sensation taking over his body.
‘’You’re thinking too much, Heeseung,’’ You whispered against this skin, leaving yet another wet kiss right below his jawline, ‘’Just let me make you feel good, okay?’’
Thinking was what Heeseung did best, especially in moments where he felt stressed out - like right now, for example. But with your lips pressing soft, wet kisses against his neck he suddenly felt like he couldn’t think straight for the first time in his entire life; especially when he felt you press your lower body against his own once more.
Through gritted teeth, a small hiss left Heeseung’s lips, his hands now placed on top your thighs again; his eyes fluttered shut as he let you slowly grind yourself against him, only nodding in encouragement when Heeseung slightly tilted his head to the side - making it hard for the boy not to dig his nails into your clothed thighs in an attempt to tell you he was enjoying it.
Was it too early for him to get hard?
He couldn’t help but gulp as he felt his cock beginning to grow in his pants, how could it not, when he had you grinding yourself against him so carelessly? Scared that you’d feel the tent beginning to form in the crotch of his pants, he uncomfortably shifted around; which caused you to shake your head. ‘’It’s okay Heeseung.’’ Your soft voice echoed right beside his ear, his heart beginning to race as he felt you push yourself down even more, and if you hadn’t felt his now semi hard cock before - you most definitely did now.
Your hands trailed down his stomach, Heeseung’s breath hitching in his throat as he felt your hands playing with the waistband of his pants; your lips still pressing innocent kisses against his throat by the time your fingers began playing with the zipper of his jeans. His eyes fluttered open, he wanted to see what you were doing, he wanted to see what you were doing to him; see what you were doing that could possibly have this effect on him.
Maybe he should’ve kept his eyes shut, because the sight in front of him was definitely too much to take in all at once. With your head still dipped in between the crook of his neck and one of your hands resting on his chest as the other one continued playing with the zipper of his jeans, he couldn’t help but let the whimper that had been threatening to leave his throat escape.
His whimper, however, was quickly replaced by a low groan as he felt your palm press against his now almost fully hard cock. A small hum of satisfaction left your lips, the vibrations of you humming against his skin sending shivers through his body. With you now slowly palming him on top of his pants, he couldn’t help the whimpers now continuously trailing off his lips, slightly buckling his hips so he could feel more of you.
He had been too lost in the bliss of your hand slowly stroking his clothed hard-on to notice the way you had separated your lips from the skin of his neck. It wasn’t until he felt your hand leave his crotch that he realized you had stopped kissing his neck and were now looking right at him, his eyes meeting yours.
You had to hold back a whine yourself as your eye met his, his big doe eyes bigger than usual as he questionably looked at you, almost like he was begging for you to continue. ‘’Do you trust me?’’ Heeseung nodded a little too eagerly to your question, causing you to press a soft kiss against his lips. ‘’Then let me make you feel good.’’
Heeseung swore that his whole body went into shock when you separated his thighs, placing yourself in between them before moving further down the bed; his eyes widening as you looked up at him through your eyelashes, your face now on the same level as his crotch.
This was a sight Heeseung never thought he’d see in his entire life, not with anyone and especially not with you.
‘’Is this okay?’’ Your voice brought him out of his daze, his lips still parted as he realized he had only been staring at you. Gulping, he slowly nodded.
Heeseung had already felt his cheeks heat up the second you got in between his thighs, but now that you were unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants before sliding them down his legs; he had never felt more embarrassed and vulnerable in his entire life.
And the fact that you were now staring right at the outline of his hard-on, his underwear being the only thing separating you from actually seeing his cock, made him feel even more embarrassed. He placed his hands over his face as he felt his face heat up even more. Maybe this was a bad idea, a terrible idea even, forcing his eyes shut; not wanting to see the disappointment lingering in your gaze.
You, however, were anything but disappointed. You couldn’t help your jaw going slack the second your eyes landed on his very prominent outline, a small gasp almost leaving your lips as your fingertips slowly grabbed onto his still clothed cock; giving it a gentle squeeze, earning a low groan from Heeseung. 
You must’ve noticed the way he was still hiding behind his hands, causing you to lightly tap his now exposed thighs. He slowly opened his eyes, separating his fingers so he could look at you, his eyes immediately meeting yours. ‘’Is it okay if I take them off?’’ Not finding the strength to speak, he only nodded in response. He took a deep breath as he felt you hook your fingers under the waistband of his boxers, slowly pulling them down his legs.
As he felt his hard cock spring up, hitting his lower stomach; another hiss of both embarrassment and desperation trailed off his lips, followed by him covering his eyes using his hands once again. He simply just could not look at you, scared that he’d faint from the amount of awkwardness he felt by you staring at his now fully exposed cock.
‘’Heeseung, baby,’’ The nickname leaving your lips accompanied by a chuckle caused the now red boy to look at you from behind his hands once more, ‘’Don’t hide, there’s nothing to feel embarrassed about, okay?’’
Another groan emerged from the back of his throat as he slowly let his hand slip away from his face, hesitant to look at you; scared that you’d laugh at him or make fun of him for blushing so hard. But you never did, no, instead he suddenly felt you grab onto his girth, causing his eyes to immediately land on you.
Using one of your hands to experimentally stroke his cock, your lips parted in awe. You never would’ve thought that Lee Heeseung, the boy you once swore you hated, would have such a nice cock; his tip red for the lack of attention and throbbing in your hand. You leaned forwards, looking back up at him through your lashes before pressing a soft kiss against the tip.
The new feeling was almost enough for Heeseung to cum right there and then. His lips parted as he tried holding back a groan, failing miserably to do so as he watched you kiss yet another kiss to the tip of his cock; a small smile forming on your lips as you watch the boy laying in front of you melt into your touch.
Still slowly stroking it using one of your hands, you continued peppering kisses all over his tip, enjoying the way he squirmed around at the sensation. You then stuck your tongue out, leaving a wet trail from the base of his cock all the way to the tip, pushing Heeseung over the edge. He was about to tell you to please make him feel good and stop teasing him, you, however; seemed to already be on it as you wrapped your lips around his cock.
A loud groan left his lips in surprise as he felt your wet mouth wrap around his tip, followed by a hiss; his hands gripping onto the sheets as he tried his best not to buckle his hips forwards, wanting to feel your mouth on his entire cock. You pulled your lips off his cock with a pop, causing Heeseung to almost whine as he grew even more desperate.
But with you being quick to take his cock into your mouth once again, this time more of his cock filling your mouth; he never got the chance to even whine, not before you started slowly bobbing your head up and down.
With your lips now fully wrapped around his cock, all the nights he had spent in the darkness of his room tugging at his own cock, whimpering out your name as his own cum coated his stomach didn’t feel as perverted anymore.
Not that your tongue swirling around the tip of his cock felt anything like his right hand tugging at his own cock, no, his right hand couldn’t even remotely compare to your mouth now that he had experienced the bliss of your plump lips almost touching the base of his cock.
Heeseung felt like he was dreaming. Even though he had thought about your lips one too many times in the darkness of his room during the past few weeks, something he felt ashamed of admitting, he never thought he would actually get to experience it. In a way, it almost felt unreal - but the moan you let out around his cock, the vibrations causing a grunt to leave his lips reminding him that it was, in fact, real.
He wasn’t sure of just how loud he was being, not being able to stop the small whimpers and groans spilling past his lips; but one of his hands had somehow shakily made its way into your hair, pulling your head down in an attempt to relieve the throbbing of his cock. Every time your tongue swirled around his tip, he tensed up, the knot forming in his stomach telling him that he wouldn’t be able to hold back much longer.
He hoped that you understood that this was his first time and that the new feeling overwhelmed him, hence why he was gripping onto your hair and slightly lifting his hips off the mattress underneath him - desperately trying to mutter something about being close.
With him stuttering something under his breath, your eyes darted up to look at him. The sight in front of you almost caused you to let out a moan, his hair sticking to his forehead as he pressed his head into the pillow placed underneath his head; giving you a clear sight of his adam’s apple moving up and down as a result of him gulping, his lips slightly parted as another whimper left his lips.
He looked even prettier like that.
‘’Y/N,’’ He managed to stutter out, gathering even more hair in his fist as you hummed against the tip of his cock, your eyes still glued to him. ‘’I think I’m going to cum,’’
He didn’t even get to finish his sentence before the knot in his stomach snapped, a loud groan leaving his lips as he thrusted his hip forwards, not being able to control his own body as his orgasm washed over him. He was too busy trying to stay conscious as his overwhelming orgasm caused his whole body to tense up to even realize that he had unknowingly pushed your head down, your throat closing around his cock as his white seed shot down your throat only heightening his high.
With small whimpers trialing of his lips and his eyes tightly shut, he felt you pull your mouth away from his now twitching cock, droplets of his own release dropping onto his abdomen as his hand slowly let go of your hair he had bunched up in his fists.
It took a while for the boy to catch his breath, seeing stars as his eyes finally fluttered open, seeing the outline of you through his blurry vision.
Wait, did he just cum in your mouth? Without your permission?
Embarrassment shot through the boy's body, his eyes widening as he blinked; his eyes meeting yours, panic now slightly starting to set in as watched you stared at him with your lips slightly parted. ‘’I-I’m so sorry,’’ He managed to stutter out, placing his hands on both sides of his body before propping himself up so he was sitting upright.
You, on the other hand, just stared at the boy - appalled.
He had indeed just spilled his own release down your throat without any warning, and maybe you should’ve been angry with him; but how could you, when you could feel your own wetness seeping out of your hole? 
‘’I couldn’t stop myself, I promise I didn’t mean to, I’m so sorry,’’ He continued rambling, the panic now being clear as day as he spoke, ‘’I’ve just never, felt so g-good before and it happened before I could sto-’’
Feeling you place yourself on top of his lap once more and smashing your lips against his own, he stopped speaking. The kiss was messy, your lips harshly moving against his own as his spit mixed with yours, combined with the taste of his own cum. The sudden kiss took him by surprise, your clothed core coming into contact with his already sensitive cock causing him to hiss against your lips. You, however, didn’t stop; a low whine leaving his throat as he felt you bite down on his lip.
‘’What are you doing?’’ He managed to whimper out as you pulled away for a second, taking in the sight in front of you. His lips were now slightly bruised, a result of your lips meshing together with his and you nibbling on his bottom lip; his doe eyes were big as he stared right back at you. Fuck, why did he have to look so pretty?
‘’You don’t think I’m done with you, do you?’’
Heeseung gulped, ‘’Y-you’re not mad at me?’’
A small chuckle left your throat, using your thumb to stroke his cheek. ‘’You’re so fucking stupid sometimes, you know that right?’’
Heeseung knew he wasn’t stupid. Heeseung was a lot of things, but stupid most certainly wasn’t one of those things; well, at least for now - knowing he’d probably be beyond dumb by the time you were done with him.
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o-sachi · 1 month
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Superimposable - Drabble for WinBre Week!
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ᯓ chemistry too hard for you? good thing you have someone to help you out... ᯓ character; hayato suo (wind breaker) ᯓ tags; college au, floof, friends to lovers (kinda), gn reader, no y/n, has chemistry jargon and concepts (basic explanations at the end if you're curious lol)
[🐟]: for day 2 - school life prompt! @windbreakerweek
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"Suo, there's no use. I'm doomed. I've accepted my fate," you say as you plant your forehead on the hardwood table.
You've been in the university library for quite some time now, yet your brain won't absorb this damn chemistry lesson. Who even cares about how molecules are structured?
As pessimistic as you are, your designated tutor was still able to keep a friendly smile on his face. Sure, you were unlucky to not be born a chemistry genius, but at least, you were lucky enough to be friends with someone who is.
Suo Hayato is a close friend of yours and the person who gets the highest marks in your chemistry class. Every. Single. Time.
"You just have to use your imagination. It's highly important since you want to figure out the configuration of the molecule."
He points to a line in the book—reading it and squeezing in a short explanation in between. Despite his many attempts... it was simply impossible.
Suo quickly notices your fleeting attention and decides to close the book. He had something better up his sleeve. "Alright, you have trouble understanding configurations, right?"
You nod slowly—clearly showing the exhaustion that has been building up all this time.
He smiles softly. "Okay then. Let's start from the beginning."
He pulls his chair a bit closer to you. If you were to move just an inch—your shoulders would rub against each other. Normally, such a trivial touch would be nothing to you... but it was Suo Hayato. People would do unimaginable things to be in your position right now.
"First, you need to be able to find the chiral center of these structures. And in order to do that—you need to know the concept of superimposability."
He takes your right hand and places it flat on the table. "Look," he says while placing his bigger hand on top of yours. "They don't line up do they? They're mirror images, but they don't line up perfectly."
"So they're not superimposable?" you ask and he nods. "But what if I turn my hand?"
Suo chuckles softly, fully expecting you to ask that. He takes your hand and flips it over so that your palm was facing upwards. And like earlier, he places his palm over yours. A little more and you could intertwine your fingers with his.
You gulp down—hard. "Don't they line up now?"
"Yes, but are they mirror images?" he poses the question and he removes his hand from yours. "Your palm is facing up while the back of my hand is. So they're not the same."
Suo speaks up again. "So if the mirror images of the molecules are not superimposable, it has a chiral center."
Scratching your head, you tried to make sense of his words. It was clear and unclear at the same time. You were close to getting to that summit of understanding this thing. But there was something missing.
"Then what are superimposable things?"
Suo looks up, as if in thought. In truth, there were so many superimposable things around you—papers, rulers, cellphones. But he thought that would be too boring to make this lesson memorable.
He turns to face you better which prompts you to do the same. You had a feeling he was about to do something. Although, nothing would ever prepare you for what he was to pull next.
"Pretend you're looking into a mirror," he says while pointing at his face. "So we have mirror images now, right?"
"Right."
"What else do we need for images to be superimposable again?"
"They have to line up?"
He hums, satisfied with your answer. But what kind of teacher would he be if he doesn't properly show you, right?
To be fair, your lips did line up perfectly. He let you feel the softness of his lips on yours for a few seconds—making sure you understood what all of this meant. It was quick, but sweet. The small peck rendered you immobile and all you could do was get lost in the pleasant surprise.
Pulling away, he flashes you that same subdued smile. "Wow, they do line up huh? So would you say lips are superimposable or not?"
When he talked like this it made you feel... things. "They're super... imposable..."
His smile widens, glad that you successfully absorbed the concept. He went on with his lecture, excited to teach you more. But it seems like his methods left you stunned and unable to go on any further.
o-sachi © 2024 pls do not translate/copy/reupload my work on other platforms.
a/n - some explanations under the cut
Let's go over the terms:
Configuration - basically how the molecule exists in a 3D space, their rotation and how its components are postioned relative from each other
Chiral Center - atoms with four different groups bonded to it and are mirror images that are non-superimposable
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Idk if y'all will understand with just this explanation but yes. (ty socratic)
Superimposability - mirror images that line up
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Like this basically (ty Chemistry Stack Exchange)
This is like the very miniscule tip of the organic chemistry iceberg. So reader and Suo have SO MUCH to go over lol. Anyway, orgchem is fun /srs. So was writing this hehe.
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ode2rin · 1 year
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your tequila lips is my idea of luxury
pairing. mikage reo x gn!reader
genre. fluff & university/college rom :D 
warnings/content. 4.1k+ wc | soccer team captain!reo (giggles) | mentions of alcohol, drinking, and drunken state | public kissing (don’t ask) | minimal proofread | me and my poor attempt of banter
in which: last night left you with three hazy memories — a dare, a kiss, and the name reo mikage
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If college has managed to drill one thing into your head, it’s the gospel of abstaining from weekday drinking. After all, who in their right mind willingly marches to class with a pounding headache? Certainly not you.
But if there’s also one thing college didn't prepare you for, that is ignoring that one advice it drilled into you, and the golden rule of never, ever going against your own wisdom. 
If it did, then maybe you wouldn’t find yourself seated at the table of your kitchen dorm, your elbows resting heavily on its surface and your hands cradling your throbbing head, with your fingers pressed against your temples in a feeble attempt to alleviate the pounding sensation that is making you feel like it’s your last day on earth.
And to add a splash of more chaos to the mix, you feel like your headache intensified by tenfold at the absurdity of what your roommate just told you.
“I did fucking what now?”
“You kissed Reo at the party last night! Reo freaking Mikage!”
Yup, it’s definitely your last day on earth.
“ —and we squealed so loud! We never thought you had it in you to pull shit like that!” 
Well, you didn’t either.
“Hold on, talk slowly! I kissed him?!” 
Furrowing your brows, you attempt to process the bombshell your roommate just dropped on you. 
“Don’t tell me you forgot what happened last night!”
To say that your roommate did a poor job of filling you in on what atrocity happened last night is an understatement. The only thing you managed to register from the weirdly sequenced story were two things: kiss and Reo. 
And from there, the memories of last night came rushing back to you. 
Fucking hell.
You are damned, no doubt. Of all people, it had to be Reo Mikage. Are you even allowed to say that name so casually, even in your mind? That name drips gold and glory in every letter. He’s probably the richest guy on campus, the most famous (for sure), and on top of that, he’s the captain of the goddamn soccer team. Talk about a boring and plain college life he’s living. 
And to kiss that said man in a party for a dare? You’re doomed. You’re done for. You did the worst thing imaginable. 
You should’ve known better that nothing good comes out of college parties and dumb drinking games.
You made a lot of questionable decisions in your life, that you admit. But this one probably takes the top spot.
And it all started innocently enough – with a dare. 
The kind of dare that only seems like a great idea after a few too many shots. You had been the reigning champion of beer pong for as long as you could remember, and your friends decided it was high time to knock you down a peg. The stakes were set: a dare for a dare, and you were handed the ultimatum. Win the game or face the consequences.
But as fate would have it, your well-practiced skills crumbled under the pressure, and you found yourself facing the ultimate punishment—eight shots of tequila, back-to-back, in quick succession. 
Under typical circumstances, you could easily handle that quantity, but regular situations don't account for having a crucial presentation the following day. Eight shots? It's a nightmare, considering you've reached your limit.
And so, you found yourself stumbling through the crowd with only one goal in mind: redemption.
Or maybe it was the tequila that whispered that goal into your ear, urging you to prove yourself. It was hard to tell. 
And in that hazy state, your eyes had locked onto a figure that seemed to glow amidst the dim lights of the party. Reo Mikage, a name that resonated through campus like a melody, stood there, his presence magnetic and his smile dangerously alluring.
Without much thought, you approached the poseur table he was located at.
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“Are you single?” you asked him the second you got close enough for him to hear. Fortunately, he wasn't surrounded by his usual crowd.
Now, what happened to ‘hello’? To ‘are you having fun?’ That question is too straightforward for a conversation starter, isn't it? 
“Yeah? Yes, I mean.” Reo replied, confusion evident in his tone.
“Okay good, listen.” Stepping closer, you caught him off guard, and he instinctively took a step back. His movement prompted a questioning look from you, tinged with a hint of concern because it was one step, yet he backed away for three. Little did you know, your proximity was affecting him more than the alcohol he'd consumed.
Undeterred and tequila-fueled, you continued. “I really don't want to drink those abominations in liquid form my friends dared me, so may you find it in your good heart to let me kiss the shit out of you so I’m saved.”
What the hell did he just hear? “Kiss the shit out of me…?”
“Yeah.” So, he heard you right. He’s not making it up. Good, he thinks.
“What do I get in return?”
“Lunch? My treat.” 
Did you just offer a multimillionaire heir a lunch and promise it's on you? At this point, you're not drunk — you're certifiably crazy.
“Hmm, sounds good. Alright, please do show me how the shit out of me can be kissed by you.”
In the face of his agreement, you rolled your eyes at his mocking tone. But there was no time for second-guessing; this was your moment.
Grasping the front of his shirt, you tugged him closer. You saw how his eyes widened at what you did before it broke out to a boyish grin. A breath passed, and then — the two of you collided.
In the electrified space between heartbeats, your lips found each other hungrily. His breath mingled with yours, a shared exchange of anticipation as your mouths moved in sync, exploring each other with an urgency that defied logic.
The taste of tequila still lingered, a faint reminder of the daring choice that had led you here. But it was the heat, the fervor, that consumed you both. Your bodies pressed together, the proximity sparking flames of need that danced through your veins.
His fingers found purchase at your waist, the touch igniting a trail of sensation that sent shivers down your spine. Your fingers were tangled in his hair, and a moan rose out of your throat as he drew your bottom lip between his teeth, a delicious tug that blurred the lines between who was kissing whom.
You pulled back from the kiss first, and a protest almost climbed Reo’s throat. But he knew better than to step in unwarranted, instead, he settled with savoring the image of your flushed state. Even in these neon blaring lights, Reo could discern your state with your heavy panting. Was it because of the alcohol? Or him? He hopes it’s the latter.
“That was… fuck. Thank your friends for the dare for me, yeah?”
And that’s how it all ended — with a kiss far from innocent.
Now here you are, nursing a splitting headache as you trudged across campus, textbooks clutched to your chest, trying to shake off the remnants of last night's debauchery. The taste of regret was heavy on your tongue—not just from the hangover, but from the events that led up to it.
In your slightly inebriated mind, the plan made sense. Kiss the hottest guy at the party, and you'd show your friends that you were up to the challenge. It was akin to hitting two birds with one stone: escaping the impending liquor onslaught and salvaging your pride. 
At the time, it sounded good – sounded like a winning strategy. But now? You want to bang your head against the wall for even thinking it made sense. And you’d do it if it weren’t for your phone buzzing in your pocket interrupting your self-loathing.
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Last night for Reo was enchanting, to say the least. 
It was like a spark in the darkness, an unexpected surge of joy that he found himself smirking at the memory, reliving the sensation of your lips in his.
Last night might have been the spark, but it wasn't where it all began for Reo. 
Before you approached him at the party, he remembered you from freshman year. It was hard not to—especially when he recalled the exact moment. He perfectly remembers how you looked him dead in the eye and quipped,“Why waste your time on that sport if your aim is as off as a blindfolded archer? The goal's over there, genius. Not me.” after his supposed goal went astray and hit you in the back.
Well, he took that personally— word for word. And within a year, he had risen to become the best player on the team.
Now add that memory to the daring kiss you shared last night? There was no way Reo would be forgetting you anytime soon. He was now on a mission to make sure that you remembered him as vividly as he remembered you.
Good thing you owe him lunch, and an even better thing that he spotted you just now on a bench near the field he was on. He chuckled to himself at the coincidence, he wasn’t expecting to see you so soon. 
Reo, with his pragmatic and business-oriented mindset, was perhaps one of the last people on earth to put faith in notions like fate. But maybe he can make an exception to that philosophy if it’s you. 
Because right now, this whole thing felt like a mischievous wink from the cosmos, giving Reo a shot at something he had only dared to imagine. Wasting no more chances, he pulled out his phone.
[Today, 8:32 AM]
Is this Y/N?  This is Reo, by the way.
From his vantage point, he saw you reach for your phone immediately after he hit send. The widening of your eyes and the hint of surprise as you read his message didn't go unnoticed.
Cute. Peering down to his phone, he snorted with laughter at your response.
y/n: No. You’ve got the wrong number. [8:33 AM] Your friend confirmed it’s yours, though :P [8:33 AM] Also, I can see you typing. [8:34 AM]
Your eyes immediately scanned the whole field in search of the possible source of your college life’s impending doom. After a few seconds of looking with furrowed brows and a crinkled nose, there – you saw him, with his head slightly cocked to the side and his arms crossed over his chest, grinning at your display of reaction to his messages.
Your searching eyes transformed into bewilderment the instant he stood up, making his way toward you. Realizing that the two of you couldn’t be seen together under any circumstances to avoid igniting unnecessary gossip, your fingers danced over the screen of your phone, rapidly firing off messages that inundated his notifications.
y/n: what do you need are you trying to approach me stop right there stop walking!!!! everyone's looking i swear to god [8:37 AM]
Your frantic typing, however, seemed to make no impact. As if on a mission, Reo continued walking closer to you with the most annoyingly confident grin on his lips. His gaze was locked onto you, unwavering and undeterred.
Even from the distance that separates you two, you could make out what he was wearing. And you were damn sure, it was the sluttiest piece of clothing a man could wear.
The divine must really have its favorites, it seems. Because while you looked like hell had taken up residence on your head from last night’s festivities, he looked too sinful for a sunny morning in his compression shirt. 
No one should look that damn good at 8 AM—it's practically criminal and a slap in the face to regular college students like you.
As Reo closed the distance between you, you could practically feel the weight of all those curious eyes fixated on the scene. Were they looking at him? You? Or both? The thought alone made you want to sink into the ground and disappear.
“Hi.” 
Hi? You’re hyperventilating from the attention the two of you are getting and he quips a hi? 
“What do you need?” you hissed, trying to keep your voice steady amid the prying gazes of onlookers.
Reo's grin remained stubbornly intact, seemingly oblivious to the audience around you. “I’m here to collect a favor you owe me!” he declared with an enthusiasm that felt almost out of place in this surreal moment.
He can’t be seriously asking you to buy him lunch, right? What does he even eat? A5 Wagyu steak? There’s no way your student budget can afford that.
“I don’t remember owing you anything.”
“Really? I’ll remind you then, you offered to buy me lunch last night before you grabbed my collar and kissed m–”
“Finish that sentence, and lunch is not the only thing you’ll get from me.”
Your threat hung heavy in the air, your words loaded with a blend of annoyance and embarrassment that had settled on your cheeks.
“Is that a threat or a promise?” and yet, ever undeterred from your hostility, Reo's voice took on a smug, teasing tone that matched the twinkle in his eye.
This guy. “You're a bit annoying, don’t you think?”
“No, I don't think I am,” he countered, “And I also don't think that's how you should speak to someone who, and I quote, found it in their good heart to kiss you and save you from eight shots of tequila, though.”
Reo was on a mission, that much was clear. And quoting your exact words from last night seemed to be one of his tactics to ensure you remembered him and that kiss you shared. 
And lucky him, it looks like it’s working like a charm in which the telltale warmth in your cheeks revealed. Unfortunately for you, your simmering frustration combined with a throbbing headache could either launch you into a one-way ticket to expulsion or earn you a potential criminal record.
May the universe and all the saints grant you patience, because the overwhelming urge to wipe that damn grin off his face is slowly overtaking your senses.
You glanced at your watch, calculating whether you had enough time to wrap up your presentation before considering lunch. “Fine. Text me the location,” you conceded, your tone reluctantly agreeable. “I have a presentation to do first. I'll meet you there before noon.”
It might turn out to be a questionable financial decision to let him choose the lunch spot, but you were sticking to your word. You still owed him, after all.
“Sure. Good luck on your presentation. I’m sure you’ll devour the shit out of it.” 
His playful tone, quoting your own words again back at you, made your eyes roll in a mix of annoyance and flustered embarrassment.
Reo, on the other hand, seems like he’s having the time of his life with your reactions.
Someone can’t wait for lunch time, it seems. And clearly, that’s not you but a certain purple-haired.
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If anyone were to observe Reo in this moment, they might easily mistake his fidgeting for the anxious prelude to a first Tinder meet up. Of course, that would be utterly absurd, considering he was simply awaiting someone's arrival, who happened to owe him a wholesome meal.
The little bell above the restaurant's entrance jingled, drawing Reo's attention like a magnet. 
His heart skipped a beat when he saw you walk in, much to his surprise. Seemingly fresh and put-together now, you appeared quite different from the disarrayed figure he had spotted on the field earlier. 
Your smile, which now adorned your face as you exchanged pleasantries with the hostess, seemed to hint that your presentation had gone well, and perhaps the remnants of last night’s headache were subsiding.
Casually dressed yet carrying an air of understated confidence, you navigated the room with ease. His eyes followed you as you moved, taking in the subtle sway of your hair, the way your lips curved into polite smiles for familiar faces. He observed this scene unfolding before him, almost as if he were watching a scene from one of those romcom movies.
When your gaze finally settled on him, Reo could feel the heat making its way to his neck that he hoped his collar was hiding well.
The moment you settled into your seat, you wasted no time in addressing the metaphorical elephant in the room. “I’m sorry I put you in that position last night,” you blurted out.
Conversation starters were not your strong suit, Reo noted with an inward chuckle. Last night's shameless question was understandable, given the influence of alcohol, but in the clear light of day, your choice of conversation openers left much to be desired.
“It’s fine,” he replied with a sidelong glance, his lips curling into a faint smile of reassurance. He raised his left hand to catch the waiter's attention, subtly signaling for the menu. “Glad it was me, actually,” he mumbled more to himself than to you, his own unfiltered thought taking him by surprise.
“What?”
“What?”
Before you could even attempt to untangle the verbal knot, the waiter arrived with the menus, saving Reo from any further explanations. He observed as the waiter acknowledged you, a smile exchanged between you two. It seemed you were a regular here, and he found himself intrigued by yet another layer of your personality.
“You know him?” Reo inquired, nodding toward the departing waiter.
“Oh, I'm a regular here. It's my favorite place,” you explained with a hint of fondness.
“What are the chances? It's mine too.” 
Your eyes narrowed in playful disbelief, seemingly not buying the idea of someone like Reo enjoying a meal at a diner like this. “You?”
You admit you were surprised when he texted you of this place being his choice of dining. You were totally gearing up for him to suggest some fancy French or Italian joint where you'd need to take out a loan just to cover the bill. After all, people like him should be dining on caviar and foie gras. But then he texted you this choice, and maybe he's more down-to-earth than you thought. Or maybe he just knows where the good food is. It's hard to believe either, though.
Challenged, Reo insisted, “Yes. Me.”
“Alright, what are you having then? I’m ordering their famous pesto pasta—surely you know what that is, right?” you teased, a playful smile tugging at your lips. 
“Of course, I do.” Reo was basically lying through his teeth, at this point. But he couldn’t back down from his claim. And what? Admit that it's his first time here and the only reason he chose this was because he often sees you eating here? Not a chance.
“Why don’t you order for us then?”
With no turning back, he quipped, “Sure thing,” before signaling for a server. He sensed your amused gaze on him, and a hint of a smile tugging at your lips.
“We’ll have two orders of your pesto pasta, please.”
“Uhm sir, we don’t serve pasta here.”
You let out a laugh, and Reo swears he could almost hear the birds chirping in the background.
Maybe a bit of embarrassment was a fair trade for that sound, he mused.
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Lunch, for you, was not so bad and not quite the disaster you initially imagined.
Not until, out of nowhere, Reo brought up your embarrassing escapade from last night, “Was it because of that incident in freshman year that you approached me last night?”
“Freshman year?” you echoed, momentarily thrown off track. “Did we ever have a class together? Because I genuinely can't picture myself willingly signing up for economics or any finance-related course.”
“No, we didn't share any classes. And what's wrong with those courses? They're actually quite enjoyable.”
Yeah, if your idea of fun is spending hours deciphering graphs and balancing budgets. Enjoyable if you think that analyzing the stock market is the pinnacle of excitement.
“I don’t remember you from freshman year, though.” you admitted.
Reo's disbelief was palpable as he leaned back in his chair, a smug grin settling in. “You told me I suck at soccer a couple of years ago. Ring any bells? It was on the field.”
“I did fucking what now again?” You briefly questioned your past choices – or the lack of recollection thereof. Were you perpetually in a tipsy daze during your time at university? How could you miss every brash choice you made? Your brazen mouth could indeed get you into unforeseen trouble one day, that much is very clear.
“And here I was, thinking you kissed me on that dare as payback for me accidentally hitting you with a soccer ball.” Reo chuckled at your surprise, leaning back further.
“No,” you retorted, shaking your head slightly. “I did it because the dare was to kiss someone we found hot at the party.”
Oh. “So you think I’m hot?”
“My drunk self sure did.”
“Well, and what does your sober self think now?”
Clearly, this banter was a game both of you were more than willing to play. With a pointed gaze, you focused on Reo, a slow grin tugging at your lips. The effect on Reo was almost instantaneous—his throat cleared awkwardly, and his confident grin faltering.
“My sober self thinks my drunk self is absolutely right.” 
You infused the word ‘absolutely’ with a nonchalant drawl, noting the flush creeping up Reo’s cheeks. His composure seemed to waver, and he hastily reached for his drink, downing it within seconds. 
Satisfied that you managed to wipe his confident grin, you pressed on, “Are you blushing?”
“No,” Reo responded a bit too quickly, his voice a tad higher than usual. “It’s a bit hot in here.”
“Sure, whatever you say.” You chuckled at his flimsy excuse, your eyes catching the telltale shade of red tinting his ears and neck. Reo is easy to fluster as it is for him to do so, you noted. “Let’s get out of here, let me just pay.” 
Just as you were about to signal a waiter, Reo halted you with his words, “It’s done.”
“Done?”
“I gave them my card before you arrived.”
What the fuck. “But the favor…”
Reo's smirk reappeared, a gleam of triumph in those amethyst orbs. “Looks like you still owe me a date.”
“A lunch,” you corrected him, but Reo shrugged nonchalantly, a playful ‘same thing’ expression on his face.
“Sure, whatever you say,” he mimicked your tone, “Let me walk you to your next class.” He offered, rising from his seat as you did.
“Thank you, but absolutely no.”
“Why not?” 
Reo must be really oblivious to his fame, it seems. “Just because. Also, don’t you have practice?”
“I do, but ten more minutes with you sounds better.” 
You rolled your eyes at his attempt to charm you. “Are you slacking off, captain? Looks like my freshman self was right about your soccer skills after all.”
“I’m not slacking off, I just know my priorities.” and there it was again, that grin and that stare. Whether it was the tequila or just him, Reo really had a way of pulling you into his orbit.
Bashful, and at a loss for better retorts, you looked away. “Next time.”
“So there’s a next time, then?” he innocently asks, clearly fishing for another affirmation.
“Next time, I’m paying.” 
“Got that.” Reo mindlessly agreed. He’s just happy there’s a next time, honestly. “Let me walk you out, at least.”
Both of you left the restaurant, walking side by side in companionable silence. After a few moments, you decided to break the quietude that had settled between you.
“I guess we're parting ways here,” you remarked, your voice carrying a hint of finality.
Reo’s disappointment was evident, though he tried to mask it. “Sure. Thank you for the meal.”
A soft chuckle escaped your lips. “What are you thanking me for? You paid for it.”
“Let me rephrase it then, thank you for introducing me to this place. I’ve clearly been missing out,” he beams.
“You're welcome, Mr. Fine Dining.”
As you walked a few steps ahead of Reo, you turned your head to look back at him, seemingly remembering something to tell him. “Oh, by the way,” you start, a teasing smile making its way to your lips, “I’m glad it was you too.”
With that, you took one last glance at his starstruck expression before parting ways, leaving him with a lingering smile.
Maybe something good does come out of stupid college parties and dumb drinking games – in the form of someone with enchanting smiles and magnetic purple eyes, that is.
And now, for sure, with or without the tequila haze, there’s not a single chance you’re forgetting Reo Mikage anytime soon. 
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note. he makes me ill ( i love him very much and this is purely self-indulgent because i need him like air).
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thewertsearch · 2 months
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One can make either true statements or false statements about reality. All of the statements I make are true.
One can make true or false statements about reality, but those aren’t the only options. ‘This sentence is false’ and 'lies are not funny' are examples of statements which are neither.
You proceeded to question me believing you understood the purpose of the Scratch. You received your information about it from trolls. I assure you that in most ways, the trolls are as confused about everything as you are.
Confused she may have been, but Aradia got her Scratch lore from Sburb's own NPCs. Doc's plans run deep, but he can't have been manipulating every Consort on LOQAM.
Maybe the Sburb NPCs she was talking to are simply mistaken in their understanding of the Scratch. It might be a phenomenon which looks like a spacetime rift, but functions completely differently.
TT: What exactly does the Scratch do, then? It resets the game.
It resets the game.
...like, completely? Are we going to Groundhog Day right back to John's original entry, with all our memories intact? I have no idea what that'd mean for the trolls, interwoven as they are into the kids' session - but either way, the possibility of a full reset for John & co. is amazing news.
It would be fascinating to see the kids taking another shot at Sburb, armed with all their accumulated knowledge. They'd be starting from a much better position, and we could sidestep mistakes like Jack's ascension before they happen. We'd be seeing new prototypings, new alchemy, and potentially more God Tier ascensions. Terezi did say that Dave was only locked out of God Tier before the Scratch, and I think I'm beginning to understand what she means. A lot of possibilities we've long since given up on have just been placed back on the table.
The elephant in the room, of course, is the Alpha Timeline. Changing the past should doom us all, so what's our loophole? I guess we could just transport the Players to a freshly generated session, without any time travel - but I personally don't think that's what's happening here. The Scratch is Time-themed for a reason.
TT: We all start from the beginning again? When John entered? No.
...oh.
Welp, that's another theory that didn't survive the brooding caverns.
The release of temporal energy will be quite massive. This is a hard reset. It will reboot the conditions in your universe well before you began playing the game. You will have lived different lives after the reset. The different initial conditions will ideally lead to a more favourable scenario in the new session.
I guess Scratch has a point. The kids' prior lives were heavily influenced by events in their session. Hell, Jade killed her Grandpa with a gun that wouldn't even exist if John's Veil trip had gone differently. Even the Frog Tem-
...oh, no.
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Even Bec could be Scratched.
Now. If I'm an omniscient, malevolent First Guardian, and I'm making some edits to a universe, what's the most effective change I could make? What's the best way to ensure that it serves my purposes?
Well, it would be pretty useful if I were in the universe, shaping it as I did Alternia - but my impending death might put a damper on that plan.
Alright, then. If I can't the the one to shape this universe, the next best thing would be an entity of comparable power - one who is as loyal to my master as I am.
And I know exactly how to make that happen.
Even Bec could be Scratched.
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Literally.
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shinidamachu · 3 months
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inukag was born to be shipped by me and I was born to ship inukag as well
For ages now I've been meaning to write about the reasons why I ship Inukag as fervently as I do and @inukag-week felt like the perfect opportunity to indulge myself, so here we go.
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I want to start with how aesthetically pleasing they are. From their perfect size difference to the complimentary color scheme of their outfits plus contrasting hair and eye colors, Inuyasha and Kagome just look absolutely good together.
Their character design makes it clear from the get go that they're visually a great match. The association is so strong that the audience becomes unable to picture one without the other, as if they're two halves of the same item. Different, yet unequivocally a team, a pair.
Decades ago, they already had that classic quality to them and I bet they'd never get out of style even decades from now. And the rich lore that surrounds the pairing only adds to that aesthetic: the well, the tree, the beads, the robe, the sword, all of it enhances how iconic they are. Even something as ordinary as star gazing becomes uniquelly theirs.
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Futhermore, I just absolutely love the entire concept of it. The subvertion of the fairy tale archetype, the idea of a love that transcends time, of soulmates who actually work on building their bond. Loving each other was both inevitable and a choice they made every single day.
Inuyasha and Kagome were just two teenagers from different worlds — literally and figurativelly — discovering together what love was. This made their relationship very compelling, because the excange between them is insanely substancial.
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And their overall dynamic is so wholesome. There was a push and pull, a give and take, that made it fluid rather than static. Every single milestone felt organic and kept the audience thirsting for the next one.
Nothing felt forced or rushed. The slow burn was competently written to showcase their relationship being build on a very strong foundation, consistent in intimacy, mutual trust and acceptance — recurring themes for them and for the story — and so the stages of their bond had such a natural pace, it highlighted how genuine and healthy it was.
Consequently, there are so many aspects of their connection to explore. There's a never ending room for angst and for light hearted moments and you can adopt a more mature perspective or go for comical instead: they manage to be versatile without being generic and to embod the best clichés in fiction without becoming one themselves.
It's hard to think of a trope they couldn't pull off or an alternate universe that doesn't work for them. It gives the fandom plenty of freedom to be creative and to have the best time with it.
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Plus, their chemistry was off charts. The romantic tension bleed through every single interaction. Their passion is so strong you could feel it even in scenes that had nothing to do with romance. And they didn't even need to kiss to achieve that level of synchrony.
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They were also compatible. Inuyasha and Kagome balance each other quite nicely. Even in a relationship, they still keep their individualities and remain interesting both as characters and as a ship.
The very thing that dooms most pairings — opposite personalities — is precisely what keeps them together. Inuyasha and Kagome are completely different from each other, but they're actually extremely similar where it actually matters: their morals and goals.
And they longer they stay together, challenging one another, growing through trials and tribulations, inadvertently learning what each other's needs are and fulfilling them, easing each other's sorrows, covering each other's backs, saving each other's lives in every possible way, learning each other and learning with one another, the more their dichotomy turns into a duality, because they gain a more nuanced perspective of themselves, of each other and of the world.
It's a level of understanding, closeness and respect incredibly difficult to match. And for Inuyasha and Kagome, no one else even came close.
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Another thing is that they're not just complementary to each other, but to the story itself. Their romance enhaces the overall plot. It has a structural placement in the wider narrative, strengthening its core themes and fulfilling the characters individual arcs, ultimately resulting in a more compelling journey.
So many romances are disposable to their own story, but Inukag was detrimental to theirs. Inuyasha and Kagome's interactions served as pivotal points of their respective arcs. Taking only the narrative into consideration, their relationship holds a lot of weight and greatly influenced everyone around it and it tied everything together.
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That's why their happy ending felt so satisfying: it feels earned because everything went full cycle. All of that symbolism, all of those parallels paid off. Anything different from what we got would simply lack narrative and thematic cohesion.
And even if they didn't end up together, they could never be circumstancial. There was a real reason why they met, a reason why the fell in love and why they had ever lasting impacts on each other's lives regardless. It wasn't just love for love's sake.
This is what makes them, in my opinion, an epic ship.
BONUS: their soundtrack is lit and their quotes are simply legendary.
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ellsarchive · 2 months
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Starcrossed - Empty Shadows ★·.·`¯´·.
Series Masterlist *.•
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Words: 1990
Summary: when the universe wants to rip you apart, can you find it in yourself to pick up the pieces?
Warnings: singular use of [y/n]
Note: Note: wasn’t planning on posting this so soon because WHY IS THE EPILOGUE FLOPPING AHHHG. I’m aware it’s probably just bad luck or my lack of followers because I’m so new but damn bru 🌝. Writing part two soon, hopefully more things will actually happen next chapter !! It won’t be boring after this trust
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He’s been dreaming about you lately.
Every night, actually. You have him constantly waking up in a cold sweat, distressed and exhausted, yet you’re not even there. How do you have such an effect on him, even when you’re worlds away?
Ever since he left America, left you, life has seemed like a never ending cycle of longing. Longing for his old life, his mother, his team, and you, the presence in which he found comfort in on so many lonely nights.
It was his first day of school in the U.S.A. Little Kenji had gone through his whole morning feeling the eyes on him, hearing the whispers around him from the kids who thought he was different, strange, some may even consider him alien. As he nervously opened up his lunch box, the stares seemed to intensify tenfold. Their whispers surrounded him like a cage, trapping him and enclosing him to a doom of never ending judgement.
That was until you came along.
You popped down beside him, your pigtails swinging around as you turned your head to smile at him. You leaned into him, looking down at his lunch, and he dreaded that his first possible friend was about to be like the others.
To his surprise, all you did was look up at him, an innocent curiosity shining in your eyes.
“What’s that?” You asked, but it was different from the other kids. You had this lightness to your voice, like you weren’t disgusted by his food. By him.
Taken by surprise, Kenji stuttered out a response, “Um- it’s tofu and rice.”
Your little self had never heard of tofu, but its foreignness didn’t matter to you as much as how yummy it looked did.
“Did your mommy make it for you?”
Kenji gave you a curt nod, still unsure if you had any malice behind your words.
He could feel himself warming up to you as you continued, even starting to think that he might have a friend.
“Ooo! We should have a playdate, and maybe I can try some! My mommy only makes me sandwiches,” you smiled again, missing teeth on display, shining sunlight on Kenji in this dimly lit cafeteria. His mother always said to never look at the sun, but all he did now was ogle at the way you beamed.
He had definitely made a friend.
From the moment you sat down next to him, not-so-toothy smile and all, Kenji’s soul has become unable to rest without the feeling of you near. Nearly twenty years after that moment and he can count on his fingers how many times he’s been without you, and nearly all of them have been because of baseball.
Even as you matured, teeth growing in and the people around you changing, you and Kenji were the only constant thing in each others lives (excluding family, of course). Sitting on the sidelines and watching him play baseball, late night talks on the field, admiring each other from across the room when it seemed as if nobody else was there. Every routine the two of you had set for yourselves included each other, and now that was messed up. Being ripped away from your best friend who you’ve been glued at the hip to isn’t something easily adjusted to.
Practicing doesn’t feel the same without you there. You aren’t there to cheer, to make sarcastic remarks on the rare occasion that he misses, not there to smile at him and support him, even when he isn’t looking. You were always the reason he succeeded, even if you could be the reason he missed sometimes. It’s easy to be distracted by your face, and in his opinion, it’s almost disrespectful to not admire something so worthy of admiration.
A warm summer night on the baseball field, nobody but the two of you casting shadows under the blinding stadium lights. The moment was so simple, two teens dressed in pyjamas and filling the air with their laughs until shouts through windows and lights flickering on silenced you. You were so content, whether the night was filled with sounds of your laughter or the sound of Kenji’s bat hitting the ball. He’s good at this, really good, you think. He’s already famous for a highschool player. He’s got a real future ahead of him. You could imagine it, thousands of people chanting for him as home base calls his name. Hopefully, you’d be there too, screaming his name louder than all of the crowd combined.
“You ever play baseball, [y/n]?” Kenji asked, disrupting your daydreaming with a grin. He knew you hadn’t. He knows everything about you that there is to know. To him, playing dumb could be necessary sometimes, times like then. He found it more convenient.
You were barely shaking your head before he was jogging over to you, looking down at you with his bat in hand.
“Let me teach you.”
-
Bat in hand, you were sure Ken was laughing at the way you shrunk into yourself. You looked like you were about to collapse on the base, shielding your face with your arms and barely holding onto the bat at all, let alone correctly. Kenji, being such a fantastic friend, couldn’t just let you sit there and struggle, right? So, he helped you. That’s what friends do.
His body was warm against you as he stood behind you, positioning himself in a way that completely enveloped you with his body. He’d grown a lot recently, body becoming more firm and his once chubby cheeks now revealing the bones that lied beneath. Being a teenage girl who spent every moment with him, you didn’t fail to notice. His hands over yours, the two of you moving as one as he directed you on what do to. You swallowed harshly, trying to push down the burning hot sensation on your face and focus on what he’s trying to teach you. If only he didn’t make it so hard, his every muscle flexing against you as he moved your arms with his, speaking into your ear with a certain warmness and focus.
“Mhm, and then you wanna swing, just like that.”
When he reached down to your waist and moved it to the position he thought correct, you nearly flinched away in surprise. His fingers were hot, radiating heat through the loose T-shirt you wore and nearly leaving burn marks on your skin. It wasn’t like you’d never touched before, in fact, you’re more touchy than what’s socially accepted. Touchy enough that new dating rumours seem to resurface every week. It was just something about right now that made you want to get a lighter and burn your skin until you could replicate the way his hands felt, the artwork forever scarring you. You barely remembered where you were and what you were doing, and he noticed. Luckily, Ken continued with nothing but an odd glance.
-
Ken’s excitement when you first hit the ball is something you won’t ever forget. The happiness, pride, and admiration in his eyes as they shone brighter than the lights around you is a sight that you swear changed your brain chemistry. He seemed to drown everything out as he ran with you across the bases, the two of you laughing and celebrating something so simple. You thought of nothing but to keep moving your legs, the sound of your shoes padding against the ground the only thing anchoring you to this world. He was everything. And as he looked fondly in to your eyes and smiled, saying something stupidly on brand for Kenji with that dumb smile tugging at his lips, you realized that maybe you were his everything too.
Even as Kenji drags himself out of bed and into the kitchen, he can’t escape you. He thinks about the countless times you had dinner at his house, how his mother would laugh with you and stare at you knowingly when your attention shifted to him. The way his mother would hug you as you left, how sometimes he’d come home to you and his mother watching movies together, and the way he’d feel so WARM on the inside when he laid his eyes upon the sights. The two greatest people in his lives bonding. The two greatest people in his lives, not in his life anymore.
Shoving his face into his hands, Kenji wonders if you’ve cursed him. Sentenced him to an eternity of longing, being haunted by his memories no matter where he goes or how far he runs. Day and night, you’re there. His best friend. The girl who introduced him to the entire world he grew up in. The soul that he fell so pathetically in love with that he couldn’t even put it into words, not even as he got into the airplane that would take him away with no return, the burden of being Ultraman weighing on the intensity of the departure. Ken Sato isn’t the type to fall in love, not like this. The fact that he’s loved you from the first time he saw you, how he’s felt like you were a breath of air in the midst of smoke, the way he’s craved to give you everything he has, to give you himself, may beg to differ.
You have always been together. One. Interlinked. Now, the only way he ever sees you is in the dead of night, his mind somehow finding ways to bring you back to him. You used to be everywhere, shining your light on him so much that he couldn’t process it as it happened. Only as he lie awake in bed could he find time to think about you, to long for you, to resent you for making him feel so pathetic. You didn’t even try, and you had him wanting to knock down every single wall that he had managed to keep up with you. He always knew that if he just took you, he’d have you. He just couldn’t bring himself to. Things could change, he could get hurt. So Ken continued to relish in that life even when he craved for more, the life he thought would never change. Now, you’re 5 thousand miles away and he wishes he just told you. So many nights alone under the stars, and he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Even when you fell asleep together, holding each other like you wanted to consume the other, neither of you took your chance. It’s over now, your lives isolated and hearts lonely.
Your only way of seeing him is the rare occasion he shows up on TV, which has only been once so far. Even that one time, you didn’t fail to notice the faint tiredness on his face and the longing in his eyes when asked about his old life. You only noticed because you felt it too. Not for your old life, but for him. Your best friend. The love of your fucking life. Even if you had the guts to call him, the times in LA and Tokyo are opposite, and with Ken’s busy schedule you’d have no knowledge of when is free for him to talk. You don’t realize that he’d drop everything he was doing if your name popped up on his screen. It feels as if the world is desperate to pull him away from you, and you can’t compose yourself knowing it. You covet for the sound of his voice, holding yourself and closing your eyes, hoping that you can still draw out the lines of his face and feel fulfilled in the gaping hole he left you with as he got on that plane.
Neither of you have it in yourselves to reach out, not after the way you parted. So you live with the gaping pit in your chest, hoping that one day he’ll remember you and come home to fill it.
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