#they went out for birthday drinking and ‘drove’ home

[unrequited-rivalry]

Always have a designated driver for the ice-sled.

[moonsgemini]

cherry wine - firefighter!rafe pt. 2

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summary: Rafe’s job gets in the way of your first date, but you’re not mad about it.

warnings: teacher!reader x firefighter!rafe, fluff, mutual pining, flirting, sexy rafe, SMUT, fingering, fem rec oral, fem!reader, inaccurate descriptions of firefighter duties, alcohol, cursing

an: I have no idea how a fire fighters schedule works so I made it up bc it’s fiction. oh & do we like the long fics?? oh & it’s my birthday yay to 24

part one

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The night at the bar Rafe made sure you were sober to drive. He had you drink lots of water and even ordered you a plate of fries. His mind wandering off when you would lick the salt off your fingers. He was gone for you from the start and he didn’t mind one bit.

After walking you to your car he asked for your number and promised to see you the next day. Leaving you with a kiss on the cheek and permanent butterflies. The whole drive home you belted out the lyrics to your favorite pop music, feeling like a high school girl with a crush.

Rafe drove him in silence with a grin on his face. When he got home and texted you that he had a great time and couldn’t wait to see you again that grin never vanished. It only widened when you replied reciprocating the same feelings.

The next day came and a couple hours before picking you up Rafe got called into the station. Instead of texting he called you wanting to make sure you knew he wasn’t flaking. You believed him of course. Yet you couldn’t help the natural feeling of disappointment that flowed through your bones.

That feeling was soothed when he texted you late that night that he had finally gotten back to the station. Along with that he sent a picture of the station dog Max on his lap. You couldn’t help the way your mouth watered at the sight of his veiny big hand that was resting in the golden retrievers fur. In return you sent back a picture of your steaming mug of tea and a horror movie playing on the tv in the back.

It sparked a conversation about movies which led to you and Rafe talking non stop the following week. Besides the times you were teaching and he was out training or helping people.

Rafe promised you a proper date that upcoming Friday. Making sure to let you know that he would do anything to make it work out this time. You reassured him it was okay if something came up again. That made his heart burst, it wasn’t often that someone was willing to work with his hectic schedule.

-

The outfit you had planned for the previous weekend still sat on your vanity chair waiting to be worn. And hopefully waiting to be taken off. You had finished your hair and makeup all done to perfection. As it neared closer to the time he was picking you up your anxiety spiked. He hadn’t called to reschedule so it was really happening.

Rafe had gotten worked up all week with the pictures you’d occasionally send of what you were doing. The one that really got him was when you had gotten out of the shower and sent him a picture of you in a fuzzy robe with wet hair and your skin glistening. Most likely due to a skincare routine you had mentioned to him.

Rafe thought you looked like a goddess, he wished he could have gotten down on his knees and untied that robe with his teeth before worshiping you. His kind had been in the gutter all week.

He was making sure this date was going to go perfect. He bought a bouquet of flowers from a street vendor and worn his best date outfit. As he rang the doorbell to your small cottage he started to get a bit nervous. He hadn’t put this much effort into a date since high school. Even then how much effort could a teenage boy put in. He didn’t actually remember the last time he went on a date.

Rafe’s runaway thoughts were interrupted as you opened the door. Standing in front of him in a short black skirt and black top. A jacket hanging over your arm and your glossy lips turning up into a smile. The boots you were accentuated your legs making them look even longer. Rafe wanted to lick every inch of you. Especially after the smell of your perfume hit him, he wanted to kiss your neck.

“Hi,” You said with a teasing tone.

He didn’t realize he hadn’t said anything, “You look beautiful.” He made it a point to look her up and down.

She laughed as heat creeped up her neck, “Thank you Rafe.”

He loved how you said his name, “These are for you.” He handed you the flowers.

“Come in while I put them in water,” You nodded towards the inside of the house, “They’re beautiful Rafe. You really do know how to treat me good.”

He closed the door behind him as you began filling a vase with water, “Oh this is nothing.”

“If there’s more than this I might start to like you a little too much,” You joked hoping the weight of those words don’t send him running. You didn’t mean to say something so forward so soon. Literally on the first date, but you decided to stick by your words. You didn’t want to hide that you liked him.

“Perfect, because I already like you a little too much.”

You froze with the kitchen towel in your hands as you dries them. As you looked at him his smile was sincere, no hint of teasing or lying. You finished drying your hands as you laughed softly. The crush you had on Rafe was growing by the minute.

“Ready?” You asked.

He nodded opening the front door for you. He even opened the passenger door of his truck for you. Of course you knew these were bare minimum things but you couldn’t help how giddy it made you feel. Especially when it was him doing it for you.

-

Everything couldn’t have been going more perfect. Rafe was almost grateful he had to postpone the date because in the week the two of you talked he learned a lot. With the knowledge of you he had he planned the perfect date.

He took you to a record shop that you hadn’t been to before. You had told him about your extensive collection you had started building in high school. He even remembered a few of the bands you liked when he came across them. Of course he insisted on buying you a couple which you repeatedly told him not to. Obviously he didn’t listen and bought you them.

Next door was the Italian restaurant Rafe had been raving about all week. Promising you it’d be the best pasta of your life.

But as you looked over the menu, a ghost of a grin hasn’t left your mouth all evening, his phone started ringing. Rafe took his phone out of his pocket beginning to apologize for not silencing it. He was going to ignore the call but the name across the screen had his brows furrowing in worry.

“Everything okay?”

He looked up briefly, “Uh yeah it’s my captain. I’m so sorry I need to answer this.” You nodded understanding as he gave you a regretful smile as he slid out the booth to take the call. You continued to look over the cocktail menu.

Rafe sighed as he sat down across from you again, “Everything okay?” You asked

He shook his head, “I hate to do this but I got called in. I wasn’t supposed to work today but there’s a hug pile up downtown where there’s a big concert and they need all the help they can get.”

You tried not to show the disappointment you felt because it was his job after all. Rafe could still see how your eyes lost a bit of their shine and your smile wasn’t as bright anymore. He really hated this. In his career so far he had never been called in so much. But now when he meets the hottest woman he’s ever seen work is taking over his life. He was not about to have you slip through his fingers.

“Oh yeah I understand. You can just drop m-“ You began saying before he interrupted.

“Come with me.”

“Huh?”

He shook his head with a laugh, “Not to the wreck to the station. Wait for me there.”

He didn’t even wait for you to reply because for one he needed to leave now or Captain Matthews would chew his head off. And two if you decided you didn’t want to and wanted nothing to do with him anymore he’s take you home, but the sound of your laugh as he pulled you through the restaurant was enough of an answer. Your hands stayed locked together until you got back into his truck.

The station wasn’t too far from where you already were so the drive was short. Rafe rushed out to open your door and grab your hand once again. As you trailed behind him you saw a few of the guys from career day and some new faces as they all stood by an engine in the garage. A couple were checking equipment and a few others were already getting on the truck.

“Sorry to interrupt your date but we need your help here Cameron,” An older guy said as the two of you approached. You assumed this was his captain.

You smiled, “Duty calls right?”

He laughed, “It sure does.”

“I’ll be right out,” Rafe said leading you into the station. He walked you into a room that was like a big living room with couches and a tv. Max was laying on the couch and when he saw Rafe he immediately got up and walked over to the pair.

“This is Max. Say hi Maxie bug,” He pet the dogs head who then sniffed your leg. You bent down petting his fluffy head.

“Hi Maxie.”

“Make yourself at home and feel free to anything in the kitchen. I’ll be back hopefully in a couple hours. If you get bored and uber home I won’t be offended I promise,” Rafe said placing a hand on your shoulder.

You nodded, “Got it. Be safe and good luck.”

He leaned in with a grin and kissed your cheek gingerly. Even that small touch had your head spinning. You and Max watched as he jogged back outside and only a couple minutes later you heard the truck leave.

-

It had been almost two hours now and Rafe was still out. You had watched a fe episodes of your favorite sitcom and played with Max a bit. You even explored the station finding the kitchen and a few of the rooms used for sleeping where you stole a blanket from to lay over yourself on the couch. The only issue you were having was that you were starving.

Since you two had to leave dinner you hadn’t eaten since lunch and that meesley turkey sandwich was not cutting it.

That’s when you wandered into the kitchen and that habit of wanting to take care of people kicked in. You looked through to see what the guys had almost expecting to find the bare minimum. You were so wrong. The fridge and pantry were filled with groceries. You thought these guys must really eat a lot.

You started brain storming and decided on making lasagna and garlic bread. You figured they’d all be hungry when they got back and you were also starving. As the garlic bread finished in the oven and the lasagna cooled down you heard the rumbling of the fire truck. Perfect timing. You hoped you didn’t overstep but he did say make yourself at home. You even baked some chocolate chip cookie dough they had in the fridge. Even also tossing a salad to have on the side.

As Rafe opened the door that led to the station the smell of garlic bread and fresh baked cookies hit him. He thought he must be hallucinating until he walked into the kitchen and saw you getting plates out from the cupboard. A few of the guys walked in behind Rafe.

“Hey we’re back,” Rafe said stepping towards you, “Did you make dinner?”

You nodded a bit of embarrassment creeping up your spine, “Yeah hope you guys don’t mind. I was hungry and I figured you were too so I made food for you all.”

Josh stepped forward looking at the pan of lasagna, “Rafe keep her please, this looks amazing.”

“Seriously thank you this looks so good,” Captiain Matthews said as he stepped in.

“No problem please help yourselves,” You motioned towards the counter of food.

Rafe couldn’t look away from you. The way you stood so comfortably in the station kitchen talking to his coworkers. He walked closer towards you as the guys served themselves.

“You are just too sweet huh?” He teased.

“Well we missed our italian dinner so I made it myself,” You shrugged with a grin.

“That just means next time I’m cooking for you,” He said. The thought of there being a next time brough butterflies to your stomach.

“I’ll hold you to it,” You nodded.

Rafe grabbed a plate and began to serve you food. Handing over the plate before serving himself. All the guys thanked you as Rafe led you to the living room area. He also grabbed a bottle from one of the tall cabinets along with two glasses.

“Now I know this isn’t what I promised you but next time will be better,” He promised as he opened the bottle of wine.

“There’s no complaints from me about this date,” You shrugged, “Since when are you allowed to have alcohol in here?”

He smirked, “Well miss I’m technically off the clock again and this is from the christmas party we had a few months ago. Cherry wine?”

Your eyes lit up, “It’s like you know me already, I love cherry wine.”

-

After your stomachs were full of good food and a bit of wine that made your head feel a bit floaty you both settled on the couch. This was the best date you’d ever been on. Rafe was sweet and flirty never hiding his desire for you. Not even in a sexual way but in a way where he constantly asked questions about everything wanting to know more about you. He talked about his life as well which only made you like him more. Hearing about his troubled privileged childhood that led him to where he is now. It was admirable to hear him talk about it with no shame since it made him who he is.

As it got later Rafe drove you home. You were disappointed the night was ending but it was nearing one in the morning and you still had lesson plans to create.

He walked you up to your door with an arm wrapped around your shoulders.

“I had a really great time with you tonight. I’m sorry again for the interruption.”

You shook your head, “Don’t worry about it Rafe. I still had a great time.”

“The guys are going to want you around all the time now,” He laughed.

“Oops,” You shrugged with a smirk.

He stepped closer, “Be careful now I might get jealous.”

“Maybe I’ll keep going then,” You tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, “I know it’s late but uh do you want to come in?”

Rafe didn’t hesitate, “Yeah sure.”

You unlocked your door leading him in, “I can make you a cup of tea if you’d like or something else.” You asked as you set your things down on the entryway table.

“hmmm something else?” He asks as he steps closer to you.

You look through your cupboards, “I have tea, coffee, some random-“ your words caught in your throat as you turned around to look at him only to find Rafe behind you.

“That all sounds good but I think I want something sweet,” He said as he inched closer. Your hands rested behind you against the counter. Eyes wide with anticipation and curiosity as to what his next move would be.

“Like sweat tea?” You asked knowing exactly what he means but not wanting to jump to conclusions.

His smirk turned into a lopsided grin. He rubbed his hand over his mustache and shook his head stepping closer, “No that cherry wine was pretty sweet right?”

You nodded in agreement not taking your eyes off him.

“I think I want a bit more of that,” He was now practically caging you in against the counter. You felt like you were suffocating in him in the best way possible.

“Oh I don-“ He interrupted you by leaning forward and brushing his nose against yours. It shut you up immediately and then he broke the rest of the distance and pressed his lips to yours. You reciprocated moved your hands from the counter to pull at the blonde hair at the back of his head. His hands went to your hips pulling you closer to him then sliding up to your waist.

His thumbs going under your shirt the skin on skin contact made you shiver in the best way. Your mouths moved in sync as the kiss deepened.

Rafe could taste the sweetness but he wasn’t sure if it was the cherry wine or just you. He knew he was addicted to you now. He loved the way your hands felt in his hair and on his biceps and shoulders. He slotted his leg in between yours making you feel even closer to him. The small noises you were making made him sigh into the kiss.

He pulled away before kissing you a few more times and murmuring, “So sweet.”

You whined and tugged at his shirt to pull him back in. He smirked and gave you what you wanted. He’d give you anything you wanted.

This time you pulled away feeling a bit bold and the feeling of his thigh pressing against the place where you needed him the most helped you say, “You wanna see my room?”

He laughed softly kissing your nose, “You inviting me to your room?”

You scoffed a laugh, “Nooo I’m asking if you want to see my room. There’s a difference.”

“I’d love to see your room.” He said with a smirk.

You rolled your eyes playfully and shoved him. Grabbing his hand and leading him down the hallway to your room. You turned on the lamp on your nightstand which illuminated the room with a soft glow. Rafe had decidedly that he loved seeing you in that light. You looked like a real like angel.

“So this is it,” You said motioning to your surroundings.

He threw his head back with a hearty laugh, “Oh I really like you sweetheart. Come here,” He motioned with his fingers for you to come closer. A motion that had your mind in the gutter.

“Why do you say that?” You question as you walk forward to where he stood at the end of your bed.

“Because you’re all cute and sweet like you didn’t almost make me come just by making out.”

“Rafe!” You said with a surprised laugh.

He shrugged, “What? It’s the truth.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck still feeling bold. There was something about how unabashedly he admitted his feelings towards you that had you feeling confident. It felt good to be wanted. It felt good to be wanted by Rafe.

“You’re ridiculous,” You said as he wrapped his arms around your waist. His eyes moving down to your still swollen lips.

“Mhmm,” He hummed and nodded. He leaned in just like he did earlier in the kitchen. Kissing the air out of your lungs. His hands moved all over you gripping and holding anything he could.

His hand slipped down your back and over your butt, giving a squeeze as he past it, down to the end of your skirt, His fingers trailed up the back of your thigh and up your skirt. Hands gripping your ass under your skirt. You couldn’t help the moan that escaped your lips which allowed him more access into your mouth.

There was a small part of your brain that hadn’t quite turned off yet. Rafe’s lips began to trail down to your neck leaving open mouthed kisses that had you arching into him. The feeling of his mustache against your smooth skin had you shivering.That’s when that part of your brain decided to speak up.

“Oh Rafe,” You said breathily eyes fluttering shut, “are you sure, it’s late and don’t you have work?” Rafe groaned as he kissed the spot behind your ear. He couldn’t help but get more turned on at the sound of her caring about him, but work and sleep were far from his mind. Right now he just wanted to bury his head between your thighs and have you moaning and withering underneath him.

“Baby I could care less about that right now,” He walked you back until you were sat on the bed. The bed wasn’t very tall so when he stood in between your legs you had to look up at him. The way he towered over you had your flimsy underwear feeling soaked. You had never been so turned on by a man.

Rafe reached forward to cup your jaw. Thumb stroking your cheek gently. Now that part of your brain was completely silent. All you could think about was him.

“You’re so beautiful,” He mumbled almost to himself.

A soft smile appeared on your face and he practically groaned again. Your doe eyes looking up at him with an innocent smile had his cock hardening even more if that’s possible. He bit his lip and watched as your eyes moved to his mouth. He knew you wanted him as bad as he wanted you and that made this all the more exciting.

He slowly trailed his thumb to his mouth, pulling at her bottom lip teasingly. Almost like a habit your mouth opened slightly. He took this as a sign to gently push it into your mouth. You wrapped your lips around it sucking and licking.

“Fuck,” He muttered as he felt your warm tongue. Where had you been all his life. He was never going to let you go. He pulled it out and leaned down kissing you again.

“You’re so hot,” He mumbled as he got on his knees in front of you. He removed your boots that you were still wearing and kissed up both legs. The intimacy of it all had your chest rising rapidly. The anticipation of just how good you know this man is going to treat you was enough to make your toes curl.

“I’ve been thinking about these thighs since I first picked you up,” He said as he kissed your inner thighs. He had placed your legs over his shoulders, hands gripping the outside of them. You sighed as your body ignited in pleasure.

You let out a small yelp as he pulled your center closer to his face causing you to fall back, “And fuuuck I’ve been thinking about pushing this little skirt up all night.” He hummed in appreciation as he pushed the black material up. Your feet now resting on the end of the bed. Your barely clothed pussy on display. Leaning back on your elbows you watched with hazy eyes as Rafe admired you.

He looked up at you through hooded eyes and a smirk, “Can I please taste you?” He knew you wouldn’t say no but he wanted to be a gentleman anyways.

“Please,” You whispered slightly bucking your hips up.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lace covered clit. The black lacy panties you had on barely doing anything to cover your slick cunt. He took a mental picture for the next time he was in the shower.

You moaned softly as he continued to kiss over panties, eventually pulling them to the side. He murmured curse words as he lifted his thumb to run through your folds. Gently slipping the tip of it inside you to gather your wetness. He trailed it up to your clot beginning to rub soft circles. The motion had your head falling back with a sigh.

Rafe turned his head and peppered kisses on your inner thigh. He pressed down a little harder as he watched you get wetter. After a few strokes he tentatively dipped his head down and licked your clit.

That was enough for him to know this is what he wanted to taste forever. He roughly pulled off the lacey matterial throwing it somewhere in the room.

He groaned as he fully dived in. Licking, sucking, and kissing just where you needed him to. He listened to your moans and soft whines to see what you liked the most. He was so painfully hard but he didn’t even care. Rafe just wanted you to come.

“Oh god Rafe,” You moaned as his tongue dipped into you. Your hands gripped his hair tugging when something felt extra good.

He moaned and the sound sent even more pleasure through you, “You taste so fucking good.”

“Rafe I’m close,” You panted, “you’re so good don’t stop please.”

He shook his head with his mouth still on you, “Never baby, you’re gonna have to pry me away from this pussy.”

The dirty words sending you even closer to the edge. You had never been talked to like this and you loved it. You liked how he ravaged you and actually paid attention to what you liked.

You felt his finger nudge your entrance before he slipped it in. Your walls tightening around his thick finger. You arched you back as he reached one hand up to press flat against your stomach to lay you down more. Then he added a second finger and you couldn’t help the cry that escaped your lips. It felt so good the way he moved them in and out. Fingers curled up hitting that spot you so desperately needed.

The lewd sounds of his fingers fucking you and his mouth on your clit filled the room. Along with your loud moans and his occasional groans. The roughness of his mustache felt so good on the sensitive bud.

“Rafey I’m-I’m gonna,”

“Mhmmm let go for me pretty girl,” He encouraged as his fingers moved faster and mouthed hungrily at your clit.

You became a shaking moaning mess as he continues his ministrations. Your orgasm taking over your body. His hand gripped your thigh roughly as he kept going until your high was over. Once your back was flar on the mattress he slowly pulled out and pressed one last kiss on your puffy clit.

He made his way up your body kissing your stomach over your shirt and then you exposed cleavage. He kissed you fully and you could feel his mustache damp with your arousal. You could also taste yourself on his tongue which had you moaning again. Rafe lifted you to be farther up the bed so he can comfortably lay on top.

“You taste so fucking good I already wanna do it again,” He said smirking as he pulled away.

You smiled in a daze, “You’re gonna be the death of me.” As you reached your hand down to the front of his pants. Your hand cupped him through the material and he groaned, eyes rolling back in pleasure.

“Fuck I really really want to do more but I actually do have work in a couple hours,” He groaned. He wishes he could just call off and spend the whole night rolling around in bed with you.

You looked at him with slight disappointment but understanding, “You sure?”

He leaned down and bit your neck playfully, “Don’t look at me like that. I’ll be easily convinced.”

You giggled, “I understand Rafe.”

“I’m seeing you again though. I never lied about that. Especially after you let me have a taste of you,” He groaned dramatically, “So fucking delicious I’m addicted.”

[thevelvetvampyre]

Late Night Ride - Neil Lewis x Reader / Brothers Best Friend

Pairing: Neil Lewis x Reader / Brothers Best Friend

Summary: after a long day at the beach, you sit on Neil’s lap in the car ride home and takes advantage of your position

Warnings: Loss of virginity, age gap (unspecified), slightly noncon, pervert Neil (yummy), smut with little plot, cockwarming, public sex, unprotected

—————————————

“So who’s coming today?” You asked your brother in the front seat as the pair of you drove to the beach. The clock read 2pm and the sun was blazing down though the window screens onto your skin, already causing you to build up a sweat.

“You know. The guys from work” Your brother said not giving you any notice, barely even huffing out his response.

“Yeah- really helpful Jon” You said glaring into him.

Before huffing another sigh he responded “Lucien, Neil”. His eyes stayed focus on the road as you remained unsatisfied with his answer, slightly turning up the radio.

“Just those two? I thought more people were coming” You were slightly disappointed, but excited nonetheless because you could spend more personalised time with Neil.

Ever since you turned 18 his eyes were progressively undressing you as time went on. Of course, you had a little crush on him ever since he first came round when he was in high school to watch some obscure French flick with your brother but you were so young, barely even a teenager. He was always kinder to you than he was with most people, not that he was a mean person but he’d always seem so arrogant. You were the only one he treated as if he didn’t have a stick up his ass, treated you as his own sister. But now, starting specifically on your 18th birthday party once you had too much to drink and spoke your mouth off to him, he couldn’t help but feel some kind of sexual pull towards you. You purposely started to wear shorter skirts and lower shirts when he came around, pleased at his reaction as he stared at your skin and gulped his Adam apple down before turning red and shifting uncomfortably in his seat. It was exciting, he wasn’t too much older but he was your brothers best friend and you knew both of you would be found dead if your brother found out how you felt towards him. More importantly, how he felt towards you. It didn’t help that he started watching “best friend’s sister” and “girl next door” porn. God, he felt filthy in his skin after shooting white ropes into tissues wishing it was the inside of your pussy. He had known you since before you even knew was sex was, so seeing you grow up and find your body was exhilarating for him. He knew you were a virgin as well, knowing you had only kissed a couple of guys at parties after a few drinks. He knew how innocent and inexperienced you were. Unfortunately, this only happened to turn him on more to a point where it was torturous, filling his mind with fantasies of ruining your innocence as he fisted his cock for the second time that evening imagining your pretty mouth around it.

“Yeah well, I’m thinking Neil might invite a couple girls once we get there” your chest dropped at your brothers comment.

“Oh…” your eyes trailed out the window.

“Don’t worry though, I’m sure they’ll be nice” Your brother shot you a sincere smile and leant over to rub your thigh.

The rest of the drive was filled with silence as your mind raced with thoughts over who Neil would invite, if he would invite any girls and if so what did they mean to him. As your stomach filled with anxiety, the roads seemed to elongate and each meter had turned into miles, making the rest of the drive a painful one.

——————

“There they are!” Neil screamed across the parking lot as you and your brother exited the car. Instantly, your face heated up as you looked down and couldn’t help the smile that grew on your face. Lucien and Neil stood alone with Neil already shirtless, much to your liking, and Lucien carrying the big beach bag. Neil hadn’t looked at you yet, high-fiving your brother and greeting him in their usual loser bro fashion. Lucien looked at you and smiled as he nodded his head as you squeaked a “hi” and left it at that. Your eyes looked over at Neil expecting him to greet you but all you saw was a cocked eyebrow as his eyes scanned your half naked body. Cursing yourself for showing up in just a bikini and see through skirt cover up, you wanted to curl into the ground, anything, just to stop his laser beam gaze over your skin. Finally, his eyes met yours and he huffed a big inhale, only slightly turning his lips into a smile before turning around and walking away.

“Jesus, it’s hot today” Your brother claimed, following just behind Neil with Lucien to his left as you trailed behind.

“I know… I can’t wait to get into the ocean” Lucien said, turning around to look at you. “Come on!” He started waving his hands for you to walk next to him.

Finally, Neil had chosen the spot on the beach with a simple “here” and Lucien dropped the bag and got the towels out. Feeling the tingle of sun over your skin, you unwrapped your skirt and bent over to tuck it into the bag and grabbing some sun lotion. Standing back up you turned around to see Neil already standing behind you, eyes glued to your ass as he stared wide and mouth open a jar. His eyebrow still managed to be cocked as he cleared his throat before his eyes flickered to your face and briefly past the rest of your body. He stood frozen glaring over you, as if it was physically impossible to remove his gaze from your body, constantly having to clear his throat in an attempt to break the obviousness to the tent growing in his trunks.

“You alright there Neil?” Lucien asked as his coughing had become apparent.

“I-uhm- yeah, just something stuck in my throat… sand maybe” he said as he rubbed his chest and gave a half assed smile.

Giving yourself a small smirk before opening the bottle of cream, you turned back around and started squirting the tube over your chest and shoulders, using your hands to rub the cream into your skin and up your neck. Neil had moved significantly closer to you now, close enough that you could hear his slight grunt as he watched you rub the white substance over your exposed areas. After covering what you could by yourself, you innocently looked around to see where your brother was to help you with your back. Much to your dismay, him and Lucien had began running down the beach to the ocean.

“See you losers!” He said as the pair laughed and made their way closer to the water. You awkwardly looked up and saw Neil standing close to you with one hand itching the back of his head, a look of discomfort on his face knowing what you were about to ask.

“Can you help me with my back please?” You said, reaching your arm out to pass him the tube.

“Uh, yeah-yeah of course. Cool” He took the cream as you turned around and moved your hair out of his way. You heard the bottle squirt and a few moments later felt his warm, large hand start at your neck, massaging slowly into your mid back. After only rubbing briefly for a few seconds, he removed his hand and you heard the bottle squirt again. Only this time, the tube had been thrown onto the floor next to your feet as he rubbed his hands together. He placed a strong grip on either sides of your neck and circled small circles at the perfect pressure, following the shape of your body as his hands fell to your shoulders, mid back, waist and lower back. It felt good, and your eyes were slowly shutting. His touch was skilled, much to your surprise, and deliberate on your flesh. His hands squeezed your waist and he stepped closer, you could feel the heat of his skin radiating onto your behind. A small groan fell from his lips as his hands then fell to the lowest of your back he could go, filling the dips above your ass with his thumbs as he rubbed harder, pulling you back slightly onto his crotch. After rubbing your lower back for a couple of seconds with a few groans leaving his lips at whisper level, his thumbs ran up your spine again to the top of your neck.

“There you go” he barely whispered into your ear. A chill ran up your spine as you slowly turned around to create space between you.

“Uhm-thanks” you watched his face as it fell into a slight smirk and he chuckled and walked away, making his way to the ocean to meet your brother and Lucien.

————————

The day had gone on, the boys played a few games on the beach and shared a couple of beers. Neil had reacted insulted when your brother suggested to invite girls, extremely opposed to the idea to bring other people into the hangout. This of course, was amazing news for you. At some point throughout the day, closer to evening time, a group of 2 guys and a girl who you learned to be dating one of the men came over and joined the group. Neil had recognised them as customers that came only the day before and rented out one of his favourite films, exciting asking them how they found the tape. The conversation lasted about an hour and the sun began to fall into the sea as the moon took its place. Disappointingly, the most conversation you had with Neil was when he put sunscreen on you, only giving you prolonged glances throughout the day as he and your brother made friends with the strangers from the day before. Finally, it was time to go home and the sun had completely worn you out, leaving you with a pink tint on your high points and the smell of the sea in your hair. Your brother had invited the pair of guys and the girl to your house for dinner and the afters, promising them there would be enough comfortable space in the car to fit all of you. This of course was not true.

“How will we all fit?” You asked, a couple of the others nodding in agreement.

“I can sit on my boyfriends lap” The girl said kindly.

“Good idea…uhm” Your brother looked around. “Considering I’m the only one who knows how to drive, I need you to sit on someone’s lap” He said looking at you.

“Me?” Your heart thumped a little harder. “Who’s?”

Your brother looked around the group and pointed at Neil, who was equally as surprised as you were. “Considering you’re practically her brother and I can’t trust any of you other pervs, you’ll have to make do with her on your lap for the ride”

Neil took a gulp and slowly looked at you for your reaction. There wasn’t really another choice in this scenario, so you bit the bullet and reluctantly agreed to sit on Neils lap for the car ride home.

——————

“Right, are we all comfortable?” Your brother grinned as he turned around and looked at everyone in the car. You were sat on Neils lap on the left, Lucien in the middle and the guy with his girlfriend on the right, their friend in the front seat and of course your brother driving.

“What do you think?” Neil said, shifting uncomfortably in the seat. “Can we just drive please” he commanded.

“Sure thing” Your brother turned back around and switched the radio on to a deafening volume, everyone having to scream over each other in order to be heard. Which they all did, the car was so loud you couldn’t even hear yourself think. The car started and pulled out the driveway, immediately being hit with bumpy roads and uneven driving ground.

You felt Neil shift again, your head shooting back in an attempt to see what all the discomfort was about. You looked at him as his face was slightly red, faced out the window with almost a pained look on his face. His eyes shifted without moving his head and looked at you, he tutted and grabbed your head and turned it around to face the front. You couldn’t understand why he was acting like this. Were you just too heavy? A wave of insecurity passed through you as you suddenly got extremely conscious over the weight you were putting on him. Wiggling on his lap trying to find a new balance, you felt his fingers instantly dig into your sides as you heard him take a sharp inhale of breath. You snapped your head back again to see him looking at your ass, where you connected to his crotch. His hips twitched up and it caused you to sit further back on him, finally feeling the answer to your question. Neil was incredibly hard. You could feel his cock poking just under your swimsuit and practically a thin layer of material away from touching you. His hands moved to your hips as he pressed you down further, eyes still glued onto your ass and eyebrows furrowed. His chest moved up and down at an aggressive pace as his eyes blinked rapidly. You were in shock, he surprisingly felt big for the size of him. Big and warm, whether it was the sun, the beer or the closeness of you two he was so warm. You pressed your legs together in an attempt to control the pulsing you were feeling yourself in your thong bottoms but this only seemed to pleasure him more as he slowly dropped his head back onto the seat’s headrest. After a couple of moments, he brought his head up and you turned to face the front in almost embarrassment to looking at him get a hard-on just from you sitting on his lap. You felt him come up to your ear and push your hips down simultaneously, even circling you a bit to give him a little bit more friction.

“I need you- need you to be so,so still for me” He whispered into your ear, his lips pressed on your neck as shivers went up your spine. All you could muster was slightly looking at him, a look of confusion on your face. His cock was throbbing by this point, his breathing was so heavy and you’d for sure have marks on your sides the next morning. Luckily the music was as loud as it was and it was dark as it was nighttime, making what he was doing not obvious to the people around you. He lent back onto the back of the seat and pressed himself harder into your mound.

“Sorry guys, the road looks a little bumpy coming up” your brother screamed over the radio.

Just as soon as he said that, you were bouncing incredibly aggressively onto Neil’s lap, feeling yourself grinding unintentionally onto his erection and feeling your walls pulsate around nothing at the rough contact you were receiving. The action of this caused Neil to whimper at a much louder volume, coughing over the sound he made to not bring attention to his pleasure.

“Jesus Neil… you’ve had an awful cough all day, are you alright?” Lucien asked to your right. He tightened his grip on your hips and pushed his hips up in frustration.

“I-Uh-yeah… like I said- the sand” He said breathlessly as he looked out the window.

The roads continued to bounce you forcibly onto his clothed boner as his hands massaged your hips, his head twitching in pleasure. After a couple of minutes he was in agony, you could feel his cock pulsate underneath you at the slightest touch and his groans becoming more and more obvious. He brought his chest to your back and placed his lips against your ear before slowly sucking at your lobe and using his tongue down your neck. You moaned slightly under your breath at the sensation which only encouraged him to go further. With his lips still against your ear, you heard him gulp before he opened his mouth to speak.

“I’m sorry, I-I have to do this” He whined. “I need you so bad” His voice practically cried and purred into your ear.

In shock you turned around as his fingers slipped under your skirt cover up, shifting your thong to the side as you felt your bare pussy pound against his clothed erection. You were soaking and he could feel it through his swimsuit, twitching his hips up in desperation to feel more of you. In one swift movement, his cock was freed from the restraint of his swimsuit and laying on his stomach, your lips bouncing on the underside of his shaft. He used one hand to harshly grab your hips, harder than before to raise you to a higher level, trying his damndest to be as discrete as possible. Lucien was too busy lent over the middle of the car talking to your brother and the guy in the front seat, perfectly covering what Neil was doing with his body to the couple on the right. Not that it would make much difference considering they were too busy twirling tongues with each other. Just as his tip had breached your entrance, your brother warned of a speed bump upcoming which he so clearly didn’t bother to slow down for.

“Speed bump guys!” Your brother said, continuing to speed over the road, causing you to aggressively land your pussy onto Neils cock. The stretch of him was blinding, his tip pounding straight into the back of your cervix with no warning and the stretch of him painful. Though he found little restraint due to how wet you had become, you were still a virgin and his entrance was greeted by the tightest walls he’d ever entered. Your back fell onto his chest as you covered your mouth with your hand in an attempt to cover up the scream your stomach had built up, Neil not doing the same as a loud whimper had left his mouth as his back arched. You felt his chest breath heavily against your back as his whimpers and groans turned into calm cries as the road still bumped and vibrated you around his shaft. Laying on him, he grabbed the side of your face and placed his lips against your ear.

“Oh fuck- fuck- you’re so tight-mmm” He had completely lost composure, losing his dignity to your walls that clenched around his throbbing cock. “I need you to st-stay- fuck oh my god- still” he was choking embarrassingly on his words and you felt your walls clench around him in response to his patheticness. You did as you were told, scared to move as the size of him was still foreign inside you, even slightly moving your hips for comfort caused him to groan and harshly grab you further down onto him.

“Mmm- so-so warm around me. Your pussy’s taking me so well” His hand had left your waist and grabbed the side of the door in an attempt to use it as an outlet for his already growing orgasm.

“You guys alright back there?” You’re brother screamed over the radio which caused you to snap up and quickly move forward, causing an intense heat to shoot up your insides and making Neil whimper again.

“Ye-yeah” You said much too quietly for anyone hear.

The road had seemingly become more bumpy, being able to feel every crack, risen rock and dip on the highway. Neil was practically shaking underneath you, the lack of movement causing his back to arch and brows to furrow as he tried his best to move his hips the most he could. Your back had found it’s way back onto Neils chest again, his hand sneaking underneath your swim suit in a risky attempt to grab your boob. You grabbed his hand and shook your head no in fear you’d get caught, which in turn only made him grab you more aggressively as he flexed his jaw. In retaliation, you tightened your walls around him and clenched him in a rhythmic pattern in desperation to have any slight form of movement or friction. Your ass was wet, not from sweat or sea water but your own arousal. You were piping hot, leaking around his cock and drenching his whole crotch area. Feeling you tighten around him he began to breath heavily again, twitching his hips up to push his already attached tip to your cervix even deeper. The mixture of his slight twitching and the vibration of the car moving was hypnotic, bringing him close to an orgasm.

“I-I’m gonna cum” he whispered in defeat, almost sounding embarrassed. You shot him a look as your eyes widened and your head shook in panic. All he did was chuckle and close his eyes and place his forehead on the side of yours.

“M’gonna cum so deep inside you. Ha-have you leak-“ is all he could say before you felt his cock twitch violently inside you, feeling your walls sprayed in his cum as the already hot area seemed to get boiling. A deep groan had interrupted his sentence as his eyes screwed shut and he grabbed onto you aggressively, hearing his desperate whimpers and groans right next to your ear. You began to clench around him again, although worried and shocked that he had cum inside of you, turned on by how much he seemed to get off by fucking you without moving. His pathetic whimpers were fast paced and he slurred out a mixture of swear words into your face, holding you as close as possible as you continued to feel his seed coat your insides. Hearing his heavy breath slow down and his grip loosen around your waist, you heard him gulp again and sigh out in relief as his eyes stayed shut.

“Fuck” is all he could say. Your breathing too was out of sync and although you felt slightly used, you were still incredibly turned on and disappointed you didn’t get to finish. With his softening cock still inside you he now delicately rubbed your sides, placing small wet kisses on your neck.

“Just wait till we get back” is all he whispered in your ear. “I’ll give you what you deserve”

[obae-me]

Happy Birthday to my favorite boy who I love with my whole soul!

He's ostentatious, yes. It's hard to think otherwise with his title of Pride, his extravagant clothes, his dramatic entrances, and his peacock-like aura; always strutting about with his head held high and his metaphorical and oftentimes literal wings held out fluttering behind him.

So, it's easy to forget how much he loves simplicity. How he craves normalcy.

You'll fully admit you had misjudged him when his first birthday with you rolled around. Rumors forced visions of Diavolo putting a screeching halt over the whole kingdom, making everyone come out of their homes and business in droves just to celebrate. He'd have a limo or flying carriage take him to an exclusive five-star restaurant, drinking millennia old Demonus so expensive, one drop could have Mammon rolling in money for months. All the while decked up to the nines- the tens, even.

But, you quickly learned that those symbols of opulence were not what he wanted.

However, this year, you still found doubt clawing at your insides. Was this enough? His brothers assured you that what you all had planned was more than adequate, but it was still difficult to think so. You wanted to give him the world... Now you knew Diavolo's struggles firsthand when it came to the fallen angel.

After he had fallen asleep, you'd rolled over and disabled the timer on his phone. Mammon had already somehow snuck in and stolen Lucifer's alarm clock, eliminating his backup (which might already be sold at this point). He could sleep in now. Diavolo had already given Lucifer the day off, but old habits died hard, and everyone assumed he'd be up before he needed to.

The plan was set. He'd wake up to already-made coffee he could sip in bed before lumbering down to breakfast in his pajamas. There would be no arguing, the house would be clean, and everyone was ready to participate in a historical museum tour that was showcasing demon adaptations of human technologies. One of which was the first magical rendition of an assembly line.

Then you'd head out to have tea and snacks in the Royal Gardens. It would be just you, him, and Diavolo (with Barbatos serving of course) while the others set up a party at the House. The only ones attending would be family and close friends. It would be then that he opened presents, ate his favorite homemade dinner, and drank a little in the company of others while playing different games. Then while the night was fairly young, you'd offer to take him away.

As you rolled over in bed, listening to his light breathing as he slept soundly, you couldn't help but feel both nervous and excited for what you had planned for him. For months, you had tried scouting for the perfect gift. Was this...enough? It deviated from what you would normally plan to get him. It wasn't a cursed record or a set of cufflinks or a tie or anything like that. This year, you'd managed to find a music box. It played a lovely little tune that had the sort of melody that forced you to go quiet, chills running down your spine. But this wasn't just any music box. No. Under certain conditions, it would show the listener the memory that would make them the happiest in that moment. And the conditions were easy, one only needed to turn the winding key exactly six times.

Thinking about presenting it to him made you all giddy inside, knowing that he could use it whenever he felt particularly stressed...but also more anxiety allowed itself to flood your nerves. What if it had somehow broken in the spot you'd hidden the gift in?! Did you check it twice last night? Yes. But stranger things had happened in this house, broken things were actually quite common. So, you'd check on it again...just to be sure.

You eyed Lucifer as you slipped out of bed, keeping the mattress from bobbing too much as you tip-toed your way out of his room. Straight to the planetarium you went, assured by the youngest sibling that he'd keep it safe by shooing Lucifer out of the area if he got too close, which was so common already the eldest shouldn't get suspicious. Slipping your way into the room, you rushed over to the specific chair you had hid it behind. The ground was cold as you sat down on it, your legs crossed over each other as you sighed in relief as the intact music box was pulled into your lap.

"Might as well give it a test run," you muttered to no one but yourself as the key clicked six times. Music poured out into the room as you opened the lid. Mist seemed to shimmer a little in the air, a scene projected into the magic. Faint voices played into your mind, syllables almost twinkling in time with the notes.

"You worry too much." A familiar voice had you smile a bit sheepishly, an old memory of Lucifer shaking his head at you being the music box's memory of choice. "I've told you time and time again that you don't need to fret over impressing me, or whatever that silly word you said was." Ah, yes...you remembered this now...it was some time ago, worrying over some kind of RAD gala. Even now you weren't exactly sure what the specific thing you had panicked so grievously over was, but you had been so anxious over letting everyone down, especially the one who you held so close to your heart. In the image, Lucifer grabbed your face, looking so deeply into your eyes, it was as if he were reaching through the haze to assure you all over again. "And if I must, I will continue to tell you time and time and time again, even if my jaw must break from the strain. So take a breath, relax your shoulders, and remember that--"

"I love you," something echoed. You jumped, your arms pulling the music box close to your body instead of launching it in the air. You shut the lid as you glanced over your shoulder.

"L-Luci..."

The demon chuckled a bit as he tucked the fabric of his robe tighter against his body as he came up behind you, getting on his knees and resting his chin sleepily on your shoulder. "Should I be offended or pleased that you're sneaking off in the middle of the night to meet up with another me?"

You audibly sighed. So he saw... "Shouldn't you be asleep?"

"Answering a question with a question are we?" As he mused he wrapped his arms around your torso.

"Answering my question to your question with another question?" you quipped right back.

Even without fully seeing him you could feel his eyes roll. He gave you a squeeze and pressed his cheek right next to yours. "Am I to assume...perhaps rather selfishly...if all the secrecy is to imply that this interesting little thing is mine?"

A long pause settled between you. Was this...a bit of disappointment bubbling inside you? "It was supposed to be a surprise..."

If anyone knew the tragedy of derailed plans, it would be him. He hummed in apologetic understanding. "I can pretend like I didn't see it."

That actually had you chuckle a bit, shaking your head. You scooted on the floor to turn around to face him. Grabbing one of his hands, you placed the gift inside his palm. "Happy birthday, Lucifer. May this uplift you in those darker moments when I can't be there. May your birthday this year add to the pool of happy memories to choose from. May I be by your side for another birthday, and the birthday after that, and so many more to come." You leaned forward and kissed his cheek, chuckling at his slightly wild bed-hair that you were just now getting a good look at.

He went a bit silent, and you could've sworn as his eyes shut for a moment, a little bit of color came to his cheeks. He set your gift off to the side of himself as his arms wrapped around you once more, pulling you into a tight embrace. "And may I get to tell you time and time and time and time again...how much I love you."

[tasteracha]

brother’s best friend

word count: 2.4k

warnings: possessive behavior, reader is called sweet girl, afab!reader

synopsis: you told your brother chan that his 25th birthday would be eventful, a true milestone, but even you couldn’t have prepared him for the mess that unraveled. or alternatively, minho, your brother's best friend, is your friends-with-benefits-but-with-feelings.

you and chan have always been more of best friends than siblings. having such a small age gap meant you always had the same teachers, the same hobbies, the same circles of friends - of which included lee minho. 

lee fucking minho. 

the man has been in your lives for longer than you can remember, since you used to ride around your neighborhood on your pink tricycle and him and chan would chase behind you like the young boys they were. the older you got the less annoying he seemed to you - you found yourself seeking out his company instead of shying away from it. it was different than the rest of chan’s boys. hyunjin and felix were your comfort, the ones you went to when you needed a shoulder to cry on or a hug to make all your problems disappear if only for a moment. changbin and jisung were chan’s right and left hands, or wings as they liked to call it. you couldn’t find your brother without those two anymore, it’s a good thing you like them so much otherwise you would go insane with their constant presence. jeongin and seungmin were the two youngest, snarky and pouty and your favorite thing to do was to smother them with cuddles and kisses just to hear their complaints. there isn’t anything you wouldn’t do for them.

minho somehow managed to encompass all of that. his comfort, his constant presence, his aversion to touch from anyone that isn’t you. it’s no wonder you ended up making out over the console of his car when he drove you home from a party last year. 

and again in a dingy club bathroom, away from prying eyes and secret-spilling lips.

and again under the tree that you used to climb together when you were younger.

and again. and again. and again.

the amount of times you’ve hooked up are more than you can count on both of your hands, now. you both know you’re exclusive even though neither of you have talked about it. there are too many feelings, too much history for it to be anything other than love, even if you’re unwilling to admit it yet. 

which leads you to now - sipping a fruity cocktail that’s probably more liquor than juice even though you can’t taste it. you’ve been nursing it for so long that the ice has melted and the condensation is dripping off your fingers, but it serves as a nice distraction from the guy that’s been trying to chat you up for the past hour or so. 

trying is the key word. he’s incredibly dull, and for every thirty words he’s spoken you’ve barely gotten in one. he’s been telling you about some business his friend is starting with him, and he reaches out to touch your shoulder when you finally catch sight of minho across the room. he turns towards you as if he feels your gaze on him, and his eyes harden when he sees the guy’s hand on you. 

if eyes could kill, the guy would have two burning holes smoking on the back of his head right now. you gently shrug the guys hand off of you, taking a sip of your drink as minho stalks across the room and slides up behind you, snaking an arm around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder. his fingers are digging into your skin and you can feel the tense set of his jaw, and you waste no time twirling out of his hold.

“min,” you hiss. your grip on his arm like a vice as you drag him to the kitchen, flirty boy left behind with his hand still outstretched. if minho wasn’t wearing a jacket you’re sure your nails would be digging into his flesh right now. “what are you doing.”

“i’m just showing everyone here who you belong to, or have you forgotten?” he purrs out, not caring for a second how irritated you are at him. did you say you were in love with him? you take it back. not an ounce of love is present right now.

“you know we can’t,” you frown, knowing that his actions are because of his emotions, not because he wants to mess with you or chan. “not here.”

his eyes narrow and he lets out a breath, crossing his arms like a child. 

“if one more of those brats looks at you wrong, i won’t be able to stop myself.”

you didn’t know if it was a threat or a warning. maybe it was a promise. 

the night goes on. you try and stay glued to chan’s side the entire night, knowing that minho wouldn’t try anything with his best friend standing right there. it also helps that chan is always surrounded by his friends and not random guys that showed up because they heard about the event, so there was no opportunity for Jealous Minho to show his face. 

shit goes a little sideways when your bladder catches up with you and you have to use the bathroom, alone in your trek up the stairs where you know the cleanest one was. 

the flirty guy whose name you don’t remember is waiting at the foot of the stairs when you return, his insanely white smile glinting from the fairy lights you helped hang up earlier. 

“i thought i lost you,” he said, blocking your escape from the hallway. “i wanted to get your number? if that’s okay.”

before you could come up with some way to politely decline, minho reappears as if summoned by someone other than him giving you attention. he moves his body physically between you and the guy, baring his teeth like a cat. 

“she’s not available,” he almost growls, standing at his full height. it’s somehow intimidating even though the guy has a couple of inches on him. 

“whoa, okay,” the guy says, holding his hands up in surrender as he backs a foot away. “i didn’t know. no harm right?”

“there was definitely harm-“

“all good,” you interrupt minho, poking your head out from behind his shoulder. “nice meeting you, but you should probably go.”

he walks away and you expect minho to deflate, but he still stands with his hackles raised like a predator. 

“i was going to handle that,” you pout when he doesn’t say anything, honestly a little turned on by his caveman-like behavior even though you would never tell him that. he knows you can fight your own battles, even though he decided to step in. it’s a matter of him showing the guy who has a bigger dick, rather than him being narrow minded. 

“i’ll show you what you can handle,” he grumbles, gesturing at you to follow him as he stalks away. 

you follow him like a helpless moth to a flame as he leads you into the guest bedroom on the main floor. you let him, the fight inside of you having not left but waiting for the right moment. not in front of everyone, your brain supplies helpfully. 

“what, you didn’t want to use chan’s bedroom?” you ask as he closes the door behind you. “really seal in the deal, since there’s no way he doesn’t know about us now-“

he cuts you off with a searing kiss, his hands ember-warm on either side of your face as he holds you close to him. 

“do not talk about your brother when i’m about to fuck you,” he murmurs against your lips. 

oh. 

“who says i want you to?” you back away, false bravado coating your words. of course you want him to. you never stop wanting him. 

“you’re telling me you’re not wet right now?” he arches a brow at you. “i saw how you were looking at me. you forget how well i can read you.”

the unspoken sentiment of you can say no, it’s your choice is hidden in his words. you know him just as well as he knows you, well enough to be able to read between the lines that he’s laid out for you. 

but he’s right - you are wet. the feeling gets more intense as he steps back into your space and you let him, meeting his lips with a sigh. 

he kneels to the floor when you part, unbuttoning your jeans and sliding them down with your panties inch by inch. he presses fluttering kisses to each bit of skin that’s revealed until your legs feel weak and shaky. he tosses the clothes to the side once they’re off, not showing them a fraction of the reverence that he shows you as he stands and helps you to lay onto the bed, cushioning your head onto the pillows. 

he drapes his body over yours after dealing with his own pants and boxers, leaning his head down to kiss and bite at your neck as he slowly grinds against you. 

“mine,” he mumbles into your skin, making your skin flush and your entire body sing. 

“yes,” you breath out, tilting your head back for him. he jerks at your verbal confirmation, growling into your neck before leaning up on his forearm to look at you. 

“come on, my sweet girl,” he says, letting the head of his cock slide through your folds in an infuriatingly teasing way. it catches in your clit with each swipe and you have to bite your tongue to hold back the noises that threaten to spill from your mouth. the sounds coming from your bodies are already obscene enough. “show me who you belong to.”

“fuck, i’m your-“ your sentence can’t even make it out before he sinks into you in one full strike, his hips connecting with yours. a gasp leaves your throat and he smirks, a satisfied glint swimming in his eyes like there always is when he pulls out a reaction from you. 

“let me hear you,” he says, rocking into you slowly, letting you feel every inch of him dragging in and out of you. you slide your hands into the back of his shirt and dig your nails into his muscle, letting out a moan when he pushes his hips even deeper. 

“yes, yes,” your voice is strangled, your breath is punched out with every push of his cock. you’re so full of him, he’s covering every inch of you and yet it’s not enough. “please, more?”

his eyes go soft when he looks at you, and he presses a kiss to your cheek, then the tip of your nose, and finally your lips. 

“how can i say no when you ask so nicely?” he says, voice soft and just bordering on condescending. he picks up his pace, the headboard rocking back and forth with your bodies as he rolls his hips in a steady rhythm. 

you’re letting out little staccato bursts of breath in tune with his movements that morph into thready moans when he switches his angle just so. he’s hitting that spot inside of you just right, making your entire body feel like it’s on fire and doused in ice water all at once. you feel the pressure building in your lower belly, too soon even though it feels like he’s been fucking you for hours. 

“come for me,” he pants out, the exertion catching up to him even though he doesn’t pause even for a moment. “please, baby, i need to see you fall apart for me.”

so you do. your legs shake as your orgasm takes over, clenching around him over and over and you can’t even keep track of the noises spilling out of your mouth because it feels so good. 

he keeps going, even as you begin to twitch in the pleasure-pain of oversensitivity until he’s pulling out and spilling onto your thighs. he collapses next to you, pulling you close so he can bury his face into your hair as you both come down from your highs. 

“i love you, you know that right?” it’s the first time you’ve said it to him. the timing is wrong, the location is wrong, but you couldn’t let yourself leave this room without telling him that. he jerks away and blinks as you, once, twice, three times before kissing you until you’re breathless again, not giving you any time to regret your words. 

“i love you too,” he says when he pulls back, his lips red and shiny where they’re pulled into a helpless smile. his hair is a mess and his eyes are watery and tinged a little pink but he looks beautiful. 

“well, lover,” you grin, pressing one last peck to his lips. “clean yourself off of me, please.”

his smile drops into a scowl but his eyes stay soft as he rolls off the bed to find a towel. he cleans you up gently and helps you back into your clothes, contrasted by the way he swats your butt once you’re both dressed. 

“my shirt is wrinkled,” you whine, looking down at the mussed up fabric hanging from your frame. 

“it’s a party, everyone’s shirt is wrinkled,” he says, smoothing his hands down your sides. “no one will notice.”

but when you return to the living room it’s not your shirt that you have to worry about. most of the party had left, leaving only seven of your closest friends. 

seven of your closest friends that are now staring at the two of you, all conversations paused when they notice you there.  

“really? minho?” chan says, arching an eyebrow. he looks stern, but you know him; it’s a show. he’s not really mad. a breath of relief rushes out of your lungs. “of all of them, minho? you couldn’t have chosen seungmin?”

“hey,” seungmin pouts from across the room, looking offended. you can’t help the laugh that bursts out of your lungs at the put-out expression on his face, and it’s like the tension in the room deflates. everyone relaxes, even minho, who sags against you a little bit.

“trust me minnie,” you start, shrugging. “if it was a choice i could make, i would have chosen you in a heartbeat.”

seungmin’s blinding smile is overshadowed by minho’s affronted shout, followed by a chorus of laughter from all the people you love. 

[andvys]

I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 26

Warnings: 18+, angst, alcohol consumption, weed, mentions of vomiting, mentions of sex, mentions of cunnilingus, clueless reader, jealousy

Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!reader | Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Summary: During a spontaneous birthday 'party', you find some things out, things that maybe should've been left unsaid.

Word count: 6k+

A/N: So, this chapter took a whole turn while I was writing it. It was supposed to head into a whole different direction but my angsty heart, had to say no to the fluffy route. @hellfire--cult thank you for helping me, you're amazingggg

series masterlist

-

Steve lied. 

He lied again. 

It’s something he hasn’t done in a while. 

He promised himself to never do it again, knowing how much damage it had caused in the past, in both relationships that he had. 

This lie is harmless, though. At least, he thinks that it is. 

He spent the day with Robin and Dustin, they had surprised him with a homemade birthday cake that Robin had made with Chrissy’s help, it would’ve been a cute one, had Dustin not ruined it with his Star Wars decorations. Lucas and Max showed up as well, ‘surprising’ him by throwing a bunch of balloons and confetti at him. 

They made him blow out the candles, before forcing him to open all the presents. Dustin’s present was not surprising, at all. A Star Wars movie collection. Lucas had given him a keychain, with a little basketball pendant. Max acted all careless as always, shrugging it off when he gave her a kind smile and a ‘thank you’, yet, she gave him one of the best presents, a collection of polaroids of him with the teens, with Robin and even you, along with new records, claiming that he needs to expand his music taste. He has yet to unwrap Robin’s presents. 

They ate cake, went to the movies and the diner. And afterwards, Steve drove everyone home. Robin didn’t believe him when he said that he made plans with his parents for the evening, that they’d come home to spend his birthday with him. She was suspicious, not buying the lies he was feeding her with, Steve could tell but she had no choice but to say goodbye when he dropped her off at home, he really didn’t want her to stay longer than she had to, he wanted to be alone, by himself. So, when she begrudgingly got out of the car and gave him a sad smile, he gave her a cheerful one back, pretending to be happy when he was feeling anything but it. 

He didn’t go home. He knew that his parents wouldn’t come and he couldn’t stand the thought of staying in that big house, all by himself, tonight. He drove past your street, as well, fighting the urge to go and see you. 

There is only one place he knew he would find peace at. The Hideout. 

Now, he is sitting here, in the corner of the bar, with a drink that he had bought with his fake ID, soon he won’t have to use it anymore. With his head hung low, he lets his mind go to places that he had avoided all day. Dark thoughts that hold nothing but heartbreak and loneliness. He doesn’t feel miserable, just really fucking sad. He has people who care about him, friends who love him, people he now considers family. And yet, he still feels lonelier than ever. 

He looks around the bar, it’s not very crowded, it never is. Maybe on weekends, but never during the week. Rock music plays in the back, he hears the chatter of a group of young men by the bar, they’re laughing, throwing back drinks – they are clearly having a great time. For a while, Steve watches them. How they laugh with each other, how they all look so carefree and happy. He doesn’t even know what it feels like to feel that way anymore, to have fun and be happy without ruining everything with his actions in the matter of just a few minutes. 

He sighs, leaning back in the chair, he looks down at his drink, that lately he started to find more and more comfort in. 

The door opens but he doesn’t bother to look up, not caring about whoever it is that walked through the door. He is so focused on the miserable feeling inside his chest, the tearing, the longing, the yearning, the hurt. 

Before his mind can react, his heart is already fluttering when he hears your voice. He raises his head, eyes finding you immediately. You’re here. You’re here with Eddie. And you look more beautiful than ever. You’re wearing a black dress and the dark denim jacket that he was cursing at, last year when he had yet to find out who it belonged to. Your hair is falling softly in waves, your lips are glowing a soft pink beneath the dim light, you’re giggling, slapping Eddie’s arm playfully when he whispers something in your ear.

His eyes soften, despite you being here with him, giggling at him, he can’t help but smile when he finally sees you again. It’s only been a few weeks since he had properly seen you, yet, it seems like forever.

When your eyes find him and your giggles die down, your smile falls and your eyes widen. He freezes. Not knowing how to react or what to do. Not only have you caught him staring, you have also caught him lying. Again. You were the first person he lied to about his birthday plans. He looks away with a blush on his cheeks, his hand grip the glass tighter, he inwardly curses himself out for coming here, tonight. 

“It’s his birthday, right?” Eddie mumbles behind you. 

“Yeah,” you whisper in confusion. “He told me that he would spend his birthday with his parents..” 

Eddie looks away from you and back at Steve. He sits there, looking crestfallen. His shoulders are slumped, his face etched with sadness, he can see it, even from a distance. The sight of him sitting there so lonely and sad is pitiful. Eddie knows what he feels like, at this moment. His dad never cared about him, not even on his birthdays, he never even bothered to give him a call from wherever he was currently living or staying at. 

But, Eddie has Wayne, he always had Wayne. Steve doesn’t. He doesn’t have anyone who looks after him. He is all by himself. 

“I guess they didn’t come,” you mumble with sadness and a hint of disappointment in your voice. “They never do.”

“Robin told me that he was acting weird when he dropped her off earlier.” 

Despite his dislike for him, he can’t help but feel bad for Steve. The people he wants the most, aren’t in his life. 

His parents are gone. 

You are gone. 

Steve had changed. As much as he doesn’t want to admit it, Eddie can see that he has changed for the better. That he isn’t the guy who hurt you, who left you standing on your birthday, who broke your heart and left you for someone else. He isn’t that guy anymore. Had he still been that guy, Eddie wouldn’t even bother to look at him twice and feel any ounce of pity for him but now, things are different. He is different. In a way, it scares Eddie, because he knows that he now has a chance for a second try, with you. 

“Do you think he’s here by himself?”

You shrug, looking away from Steve, you turn towards Eddie, “yeah.” 

You feel the little item in your pocket, the one that suddenly feels too heavy, the one you itch to reach for and give it to the one you got it for.

Eddie looks down at you, at the sadness in your eyes. For once, it doesn’t make him feel frustrated or annoyed to see you be so sad for someone who hurt you. 

“No one should be alone on their birthday,” Eddie mumbles.  

“Yeah,” you sigh, looking down at your hands. “But, I-I guess it’s what he wanted, he could’ve spent time with Robin.”

“He was with her before, wasn’t he?” 

“Yeah.”

Eddie sighs. There is hesitation in your voice and in your eyes.

“Do you want to spend time with him?” He asks, already feeling the dread tugging in his chest, knowing that the night won’t go the way he wanted it to.

For a moment, you stare into Eddie’s brown eyes, there’s a kindness in them, kindness for him. That is something so rare. 

“Uh, I’m sure he wants to be alone.”

Eddie knows you. Eddie knows what you want, right now. But, you are hesitating out of fear of upsetting him. 

“Sweetheart,” he whispers, placing his finger under your chin, tilting your head up. “I won’t get angry. If you want to spend time with him tonight, we can cancel our plans and you can go be with him.” He nudges his chin into Steve’s directions. “I don’t like him but, shit, even I can’t stand the fucking kicked puppy look that he’s sporting, right now.” 

You eye his face. Even through the sadness for Steve, the smile for you, you can see the slight fear in his eyes. The fear that any moment with you, will be his last one before you find your way back to Steve, before you say goodbye to a friendship that might’ve saved your life. But even through the fear, he still wants the best for you, he still wants what you want. 

“I think he wants to be alone,” you repeat.

Eddie looks over your shoulder to see him staring at you. 

“Nah, I don’t think so.”

You sigh, shaking your head. 

“What if we all hang out together?” 

“Sweetheart, I don’t think that Steve would be happy to spend time with me–”

“Please, Eddie,” you whisper, mustering up the best puppy eyes and a pout that he can never say no to. “We can just have fun together, you’ve never met drunk Steve before, he can be funny – unless he decides to break your heart but, that won’t happen to you, don’t worry,” you giggle. 

He raises his brows at you, surprised that you are making a joke about that. 

“You go buy us drinks and I’ll go convince him to spend time with us. We can just all get drunk together, maybe you’ll finally get along,” you shrug, giving him a sheepish smile, you place your hands on his chest, pushing him towards the bar, not taking no for an answer. 

“I don’t think it’ll take much convincing,” he snorts. As though you would ever have to convince Steve to spend time with you. Eddie is certain that all it takes is a glance from you and that man is already by your side, you got Steve wrapped around your finger, just like him, and you don’t even know it. 

You turn on your heel, not waiting for a response from Eddie. You make your way over to Steve, whose head is still hung low. Your heart thumps a little faster in your chest when you inch closer and closer to him. You push your hand into your pocket, reaching for the tiny bag that you had taken with you earlier when you considered dropping by his house. 

You stop in front of him, taking a shaky breath as you place the small bag on the table, sliding it towards him. 

“Happy birthday, Steve,” you whisper.

His wide eyes stare at the bag, the tiny jewelry pouch that clearly holds a present inside for him. His eyes soften, staring at your ringed fingers that linger next to his hand for a moment. 

He looks up, slowly. Hazel eyes flashing with softness when they meet yours. You stare at him with a shy smile, sadness lingering in your pretty eyes. His heart flutters so strongly, he longs to touch you. 

“Thank you,” he whispers, giving you a smile. “W-What’s that?” He asks, pointing to his present without tearing his eyes from you. 

“I got you a little present. I-It’s nothing special just, I just wanted to get you something. You don’t have to open it now, just uh–”

“Y/n,” he smiles, interrupting your rambling, “you didn’t even have to get me anything but I appreciate it, I will love it.” 

“You don’t even know what it is.”

“Yeah but it’s from you, so, I will love it, dolly.” 

A smile appears on your face, you nod slowly, whispering a small ‘okay’. You know that Steve always loved to keep certain presents for last, so you’re not surprised to see him tucking it into the pocket of his jeans. 

“Your parents didn’t come?” 

He looks down, holding the glass tighter, he shakes his head, unable to bear the pitiful look on your face. 

“Oh.”

“It’s okay,” he whispers before you can say ‘I'm sorry, steve.’ He doesn’t want you to pity him. 

“No, it’s not. You shouldn’t be alone.” 

“I-I wasn’t alone, I was with Robin all day and the kids–”

“But, now you are.”

He raises his head to look at you. And, before he can even say anything, his words get caught in his throat when he looks at you. Your eyes are glistening, not with tears and sadness, but with something else, something he cannot read. You look at him differently than you did weeks ago, not in a way that scares him or breaks him but, in a way, that only leaves him with one too many questions. He struggles to read you, to understand you. It’s like he can no longer see through you the way he could before. Nonetheless, he feels so calm and safe in your presence and he wants this moment to last forever. 

“Right now, I’m not, though. You’re here.”

You smile at his words. 

“Yeah, I’m here.” 

When Eddie appears by your side, Steve tries not to let his smile fall. 

Right. He is here too. 

“Happy Birthday, man.”

To Steve’s surprise, he sees Eddie not with two but three shots in his hands, he places them all on the table. Grinning at him in a way he can’t tell whether it’s a kind one or a sarcastic one. 

“Thanks,” Steve nods at him. 

Eddie pulls the chair back for you, you smile at him, taking the seat across from Steve. Eddie sits down beside you, leaving Steve with a questioning look on his face as he looks between the two of you. 

“W-What?”

“You think we’re gonna let you spend the night alone, Harrington?” 

Steve looks at Eddie in confusion, hearing these words not from yours but from his mouth leaves him more puzzled than ever. Eddie spending time with him willingly? He purses his lips, squinting his eyes as he turns to look at you. You smile at him, shrugging. You slide one of the shots towards him. 

“I mean, I thought that we could spend this night together,” you say, smiling with hope in your eyes. “Or we can leave if that’s what you–”

“No, I-I want to.”

He looks between you two, giving Eddie an awkward smile. 

“Cool! Let’s drink, then.” 

“Yeah, let’s drink,” he chuckles as he ditches his glass of whiskey for the shot of whatever Eddie had ordered. 

“When’s the last time you got drunk?” You ask them both. 

“Oh man,” Eddie mumbles, leaning back in his seat, he puts his arm on the back of your chair. “I don’t even remember, it’s been a while. What about you, sweetheart?” 

“Uh, well, I had a cocktail night with the girls, a few weeks ago,” you say, giggling. “Oh, also at a party.”

You and Eddie look at each other, he instantly knows what party you are talking about when he sees the amused look on your face. He chuckles, though he instantly gets taken back that night. When you showed up with that stolen bat plushie, when you told him how much you missed him, when you told him that you wished you met him first. 

Steve looks between you two, a sinking feeling in his stomach takes place. There are things you share with Eddie, things that he will never know about because he isn’t in his place anymore. 

“I knew it! I knew you were lying to me, Dingus!” 

Startled by the voice, all three of you snap your heads towards the angry girl walking towards the three of you with a frown on her face, pointing her finger at Steve. 

Steve’s eyes widen, “I can explain.” 

Something about the anger on Robin’s face and the panic in Steve’s features makes you giggle.

Robin slaps the back of his head, lightly. 

“Ouch! Robin!”

“You are such a–”

“Dingus, yeah yeah, I know.” 

Eddie laughs at that, smirking at Steve who throws him a glare.

“You think that’s funny, Munson?” 

Eddie leans back with a satisfied grin, “actually yeah.”

Robin plops down in the seat next to Steve, still staring at him with a frown on her face. 

“Why did you lie to me? Why are you here?” 

Steve sighs, scratching the back of his neck as he gives her a sheepish smile. 

“And what are you two doing here?” She asks, turning to look at you and Eddie. 

“Came here for a couple of drinks and then we found this sad puppy,” Eddie mumbles, pointing at Steve. 

Steve rolls his eyes, mumbling a few incoherent words under his breath. 

“We just asked him to spend the night with us.” 

Robin gives you a surprised look before her eyes move back to Eddie, who, doesn’t look as enthusiastic about this whole thing as you do. 

“How did you even know I was here?” 

Robin leans her elbow on the table, tilting her head at Steve, “well, I was craving some burgers and my favorite driver was apparently at a birthday dinner so I couldn’t ask him to drive me, so I walked, imagine my surprise when I saw a certain BMW standing in front of The Hideout.”

“Robin–”

“No! Don’t Robin me! Why’d you lie?” 

Steve didn’t want her to feel like it’something she had to do, hang out with him, spend his birthday with him because there’s no one else for him other than her. He doesn’t want her to do anything out of pity for him. 

He doesn’t feel comfortable to talk about it in front of Eddie or even you, knowing that you pity him the most. You always did and he hated it. A part of him always thought that that’s why you were with him, because you pitied him, the sad boy who was always abandoned by his own parents, because you knew he had no one else that cared about him, that loved him. So you stayed, you stayed even when you shouldn’t have.

Even now, you look at him with those big sad eyes with that look of pity in them. 

“Robin,” you warn when you notice how uncomfortable he looks, how he clenches his jaw and bites his lip.

Eddie senses the tension, the looks you are giving Robin, the way she is ignoring you because she desperately wants an explanation from Steve. 

“Lay off, Robin. Maybe he just wanted to get a few drinks and not deal with your annoying ass,” he says to her with a grin. 

She flips him off, rolling her eyes at him. 

“Just relax, here, take my shot and drink it, you need it, Robin,” you say, sliding the shot glass towards her. 

She turns towards the two of you, shaking her head with squinted eyes, “you’re both pretty rude.” 

“So are you, Robby.”

“Ew,” she scrunches her face up at Eddie, “don’t fucking call me Robby.”

“I’m gonna keep calling you that, if you don’t stop being so rude to sad birthday boy over there.” 

Steve sighs, running his hand down his face. 

“Can you just call me Steve, dude?” 

You giggle at the annoyed look on his face. 

Eddie grins, “okay, Steve.” 

“Not like that.” 

“Like what?” 

“Like you’re mocking me!” Steve exclaims. 

“How am I mocking you, Steve?” 

Steve scoffs, shaking his head, “see, you’re doing it again!”

“Oh my god, shut the hell up!” Robin slams her hands against the table, truly, shutting them both up. “Eddie, get me a drink.” 

Both Steve and Eddie look at her as though she had grown two heads, while you giggle at her little outburst. 

“That was an order.” 

“Damn girl,” Eddie whistles, getting up from his chair, “you need more than one drink,” he mumbles as he walks off. 

“You are both two immature idiots,” she groans, burying her hands in her hair. 

“You are so mean to me,” Steve mumbles, looking at her in disbelief, “and that on my birthday!” 

A smile tugs at your lips, you look between them, chuckling at the way she rolls her eyes at him. 

“You know what, I really need a few drinks.” 

“Wait, are we actually doing this?” Steve asks, gesturing to the shots on the table. 

“What, getting drunk?” 

He nods at you. 

“Yeah. Just like old times, right?” You smile at him in a way you always used to. 

“Just like old times.” 

His eyes suddenly flash with amusement, he snorts, “do you remember my fifteenth birthday?” 

Your eyes widen as a giggle falls from your lips. 

“Of course I remember!”

Robin’s eyes flash with curiosity. There’s things she doesn’t know about yours and his friendship, things neither you or Steve had talked about yet. 

“Wait, what happened on your fifteenth birthday?” 

Your eyes light up with excitement, you lean closer to the table, looking at Steve, waiting for him to tell the story. 

He chuckles at the look on your face before he turns his body towards Robin. 

“We stole my dad’s super expensive wine, he was supposed to take it to some event – I got in so much trouble for that, by the way,” he says to you. 

“I know, I know. Keep going, Steve.”

“Alright, so, we stole that wine bottle. We played a drinking game, kept passing that bottle back and forth until we were fucking hammered,” he says, chuckling as he thinks back to that day in his backyard. The way you giggled at anything he said, the way you danced and ran around barefoot on the grass, the way you jumped in his pool, fully clothed, the way he hugged you when you were both in the water.

“This crazy girl over there started to cannon ball into my pool–” 

You giggle at the memory. 

“She did it over and over again and it looked so fun so I joined her. Honestly, it was pretty fun but I had half a bottle of wine and ate a whole pizza before that.” 

“Oh,” Robin scrunches her face up, already seeing where this is going. 

Steve can’t even fight the smile off his lips, his eyes crinkle, his cheeks flush and he giggles, “we’re in the pool, having the best time of our lives, right? And, fifteen year old me apparently thought that it was a good idea to kiss my best friend, but I totally missed her lips and kissed her nose and she fucking laughed at me, but I wanted to try again. I lean in when I suddenly feel the urge to throw up.” 

“Oh, ew! Stop!” 

“He threw up in the pool, Robin!”

“That’s so disgusting!” She whines, trying to get the image of Steve puking into the pool out of her head, “you don’t have any better stories to tell?” 

You and Steve can’t help but laugh harder at her reaction. 

“I mean the kiss on the nose is fucking embarrassing, Steve. But throwing up in front of her afterwards?” 

“I thought it was funny,” you giggle. 

“What is funny?” Eddie asks when he comes back with two drinks for Robin, placing them on the table and sliding them towards her before he sits down beside you again. 

“Trust me, you don’t wanna know,” Robin says with a look of disgust on her face. 

“I don’t?” He asks, glancing at you and how amused you look. 

“No, you really don’t.”

“Okay,” he snorts. 

He glances at Steve, grinning at him, “hey dude, I got a birthday present for you.” 

All three of you turn to look at Eddie in surprise, watching him in curiosity when he raises his hand, reaching for something in the pocket of his dark flannel. He picks out a joint, tossing it at Steve who catches it with one hand. 

He laughs at that, raising one brow, giving Eddie a smile, “I do appreciate this, it’s kind of expensive nowadays.” 

“Is it expensive?” You ask, turning to Eddie, “you always give me some for free.” 

Eddie’s lips curl into a smile, he lifts his hand towards your face, tapping your nose with his finger, “well, you’re my best friend.” 

Steve keeps his eyes down, not wanting to look between you and Eddie. 

You smile at the way Eddie looks at you, the way his eyes glisten, the way his cheeks are always a little red, the way–

“Do you guys wanna smoke this?” Steve asks, cutting the voice in your head. 

“Here?” 

He chuckles at Robin, “of course not. We could go back to my place, my parents aren’t home, anyways.”

To Eddie’s surprise, he not only directs these words at you and Robin, he also directs them at him. 

“Uh, I’d love to!” Robin grins. 

Steve gives you a hopeful smile, one that makes it impossible to say no to him. 

“Me too.” 

At that, his eyes light up and his smile grows bigger. 

“Sure, let’s do it.”

“We’ll have to walk though,” Robin gestures to the drink Steve already had, “cause you can’t drive and I don’t have a license.”

He shrugs, “we can take Eddie’s van and I’ll get my car tomorrow morning.” 

“Uh, no,” Eddie mumbles, scratching the back of his neck, “my uncle took my van cause his car is at the shop, we walked here.” 

Steve sighs, “shit.” 

“But you could let me drive, I didn’t have anything yet,” Eddie smirks, pointing to the untouched shots. 

Steve snorts at him with a deep glare, “uh, yeah, keep dreaming, Munson,” he mumbles as he leans back, reaching for the keys in his pockets, you all watch him curiously. “The only one who’s allowed to drive my car is dolly.” 

Robin raises her brows in surprise when Steve chucks his keys at you that you quickly catch, looking down at them with a dumbfounded expression before your eyes light up and you look up, beaming at Steve. 

“Okay, let’s go,” you smile, excitedly as you play with the car keys. You scoot back, getting up from the chair. Robin knocks back one shot before she gets up as well. Steve and Eddie glance at the four untouched shots on the table and then, their eyes meet, they both shrug at each other and reach for two shots, each. 

Robin pats Steve’s shoulder, chuckling when he knocks one back and then the other, grimacing at the strong taste. 

You giggle at Eddie, who looks unfazed by the bitter taste. 

“Let’s go, ladies and.. Steve,” he grins. 

“Dude.”

“Don’t start this again,” Robin warns, pointing at them both before she rushes over to you, wrapping her arm around your shoulder, she grins, “us ladies, ride in the front, and you two can cuddle in the back,” she winks at them, pulling you away with a giggle. 

-

After an eventful ride to Steve’s house and a few shots of tequila, you all settled in his backyard, each of you occupying one of the many loungers around the pool. Passing around the joint that Eddie had given Steve as a ‘birthday gift’. You are sipping on a drink that Steve has made for you, coke mixed with his dad’s expensive whiskey. You are pretty sure that you will regret the amount of alcohol and weed you are having tonight, when you wake up tomorrow morning. But the floaty and giddy feeling you are experiencing right now, will have to make up for it. 

Steve is sitting on the lounger beside you, a can of beer in his hand, his lips wrapped around the joint that is already stained with your lipstick. A spitcurl is hanging in front of his eyes, he doesn’t bother to push it away. He shakes his head at something Robin had said to him, something you didn’t even hear because you were too busy letting your eyes skip back and forth between him and the curly haired metalhead who now left his lounger to be closer to you. 

Eddie wraps his hands around your calves, stroking your skin softly with his ringed fingers as he places your feet on his lap. He does it all without breaking his conversation with Robin. Though he feels the goosebumps on your skin, he hears the breath that hitched in your throat when he touched you. He hides his smirk behind his drink as he takes a sip of the cold beer.

Steve clenches his jaw as he looks between you and Eddie. The way he continues to stroke your calf, the way he smirks at your reaction, the way you are blushing, biting your lip as you look down at the hand touching your skin. 

He forces himself to look away, turning back to Robin, he offers her the joint. 

“Thanks,” she mumbles, giggling when she almost doubles over as she reaches for the joint. 

“Already hammered and we haven’t even played a drinking game yet, tsk,” Eddie shakes his head, giving her a playful grin. 

With an eye roll, she gets up, placing the joint between her lips as she sits down next to Steve. 

“A drinking game, huh? What kind? ‘Never have I ever’? Okay,” She grins at him without giving him a chance to reply. “Never have I ever had a girlfriend,” she smirks, teasing him. 

Steve licks his lips, chuckling at Eddie, who nods at her with an annoyed look on his face. 

You raise your eyebrows, “why are you teasing him, I never had a girlfriend, either,” you shrug. 

“Yeah but you had a boyfriend,” she mumbles, nudging Steve’s shoulder. 

Eddie tilts his head at you, looking you up and down with a smirk, “do you want one?” 

“A girlfriend?” You ask as you raise the glass to your lips, shrugging, “I don’t know, I never thought about it but kissing girls is fun, so.. I suppose doing anything else with a girl is fun too.” 

Eddie’s lips part, his brown eyes widen, darkening as they do so. He swallows as he continues to stare at you. Millions of questions run through his mind. There are things he doesn’t know about you, yet? 

Robin and Steve look at you in surprise. 

“Wait, w-what?” He mumbles, laughing nervously. 

Robin’s lips curl into a smirk, “you kissed a girl before? Who?” 

“Yeah, sweetheart, do tell us your dirty little secrets.” 

“Hmm, no,” you smirk, batting your eyelashes at him. 

“Was that before or after me?” Steve asks, cheeks flushed red as he tries to fight the images out of his mind. 

“Before you,” you giggle. 

“Shit, I wanna know who it was.”

“Me too, Eddie,” Robin says. “I know that it wasn’t Chrissy, she’d tell me.” 

“Huh, was it another girl from the cheer squad?” 

You shake your head at Eddie, biting your lip to keep yourself from laughing. 

“Were you close?” 

You shrug, nodding your head.

Steve squints his eyes, tilting his head at you. 

Robin’s jaw drops a little when she figures it out. There is only one girl that you’re close with that wasn’t in the cheer squad – well, besides her. 

“Holy shit,” she mouths at you, grinning.

Steve and Eddie glance at each other in confusion. 

It’s amusing how obvious the answer is, yet, neither of them are close to figuring it out. 

“If you think kissing a girl is fun, you should try eating one out,” Robin mumbles before she takes a drag from the joint, “it’s the best thing ever.” She blows out the smoke, not noticing the confused frown on your face. 

“For once, I have to agree with you, Robin,” Eddie chuckles. 

Steve freezes, closing his eyes as he looks down. 

“Huh?” 

Noticing the look on your face, Robin suddenly regrets opening her mouth about that. Your lips are parted, your eyes filled with confusion and curiosity, your brows are pinched together as you stare at her with a questioning look on your face. She straightens her back, muttering a quiet ‘fuck’ under her breath when she looks at Steve’s embarrassed face. 

“What’s that?” 

Eddie freezes. The smirk falls from his face, he glances at you, at the clueless, lost look on your face. Oh. Steve had never – fuck. How? If you were his, he’d spend day and night on his knees, worshiping you. 

“Huh?” This time, it’s him, whose confused. 

You look at him with big and curious eyes. 

“What is that, I don’t watch porn.” 

“Damn, I guess it’s time to,” Robin mutters through gritted teeth. 

“Licking someone’s pussy, sweetheart. And well, fucking one with your tongue.” 

Your jaw drops, your cheeks heat up and you stare at him in shock. You look cute like this and he could stare at you forever but, in his state of shock, he slowly turns his head towards Steve, eyes filled with concern, confusion and disbelief, “dude, what is wrong with you?” 

Steve, whose face is beet red, glares at him. 

“I’m very self conscious of not doing a good job, so–”

“You learn!” Eddie throws his hands up. 

“What, Munson, are you the pussy expert or something?” He scoffs, rolling his eyes at him. 

You look back and forth between them. Taking in the sight of Eddie’s slightly angered face and Steve’s embarrassed one. 

“I have eaten my share of pussy, thank you very much.”

The scoff falls from your lips before you can even stop it. Neither of them acknowledge you though, until you open your mouth. “What, like three?” You scoff, again. “You only fucked three girls, that’s what you told me, unless you lied about that.” 

Eddie swallows, glancing at you, he fails to notice just how intense the look in your eyes is. 

“There’s a difference between sex and foreplay, sweetheart.” 

You bite the insides of your cheeks, swallowing the bitterness on your tongue as you look into his eyes. Not once, had you spent a single second wondering if Eddie was seeing someone, if he was fooling around with girls when he wasn’t with you. But now that you think about it, now that you imagine him with other girls, you suddenly feel the bile rising in your throat. The sickening feeling makes you want to drop to your knees and puke out the waffles you had eaten this morning.

“So, when was the last time you did that then, Eddie?” Robin asks, both curious to know and to see your reaction. 

He shrugs, “I don’t know, Buckley. I don’t keep count of how many days–”

“Yes, you do! Men always do!” 

He doesn’t feel comfortable sharing that in front of you, but he knows that Robin won’t drop it until she gets an answer she’s satisfied with. Besides, you probably won’t even care. Despite Dmitri’s encouraging words, he still refuses to believe that there are any feelings other than the platonic ones that you feel for him. This won’t hurt you, right? 

“Fine! Two or three months ago, happy? Now, Harrington, I think I should teach you some basics.” 

You feel as though a cold bucket of water has been dropped on you. Your heart leaps to your throat as your stomach drops. Another wave of sickness floods through you. You stare at him, not noticing Steve’s or Robin’s eyes on you. 

When was that? Was it the weekend you couldn’t spend time with him? The night you couldn’t come to his gig? Was it before or after he had gotten angry at you for kissing Steve? 

It shouldn’t affect you as much as it does, it shouldn’t make you feel this sick, this jealous. You barely figured out your feelings for him. But the longer you stare at him, listen to his words, you can’t help but feel anger rather than jealousy. 

You didn’t have feelings for him back then, or at least, you weren’t aware of them. He’s single and free to do whatever he wants but so are you – so were you when you kissed Steve and yet, he was so angry at you when he found out about it. He treated you so coldly, all because he hated the thought of you kissing Steve. Yet, he was out there fooling around with other girls.

“You have never actually eaten pussy before, dude?” Robin mumbles.

Steve rubs the back of his neck, nervously, “I mean, yeah. Just not–” he pauses with a look of shame in his eyes as he briefly glances at you. 

You roll your eyes. 

You’re not surprised to hear that, you’re not even hurt. After everything that happened between you and him, his sex life with Nancy is the last thing you had ever worried about. You always knew that he treated her better than he ever treated you. 

And, that he tried new things with her isn’t anything shocking to you, anyways. 

You open your mouth but before you can say something that might ruin the night, you press your lips together again. Sighing, you look down at your drink. You take a deep breath before you raise the glass to your lips, gulping down the rest of it.

You plaster a smile on your face. Ignoring the concerned looks that Robin is giving you. She thankfully changes the topic. Eddie and Steve, surprisingly fall into yet another conversation. 

Their distraction allows you to slip away for a moment, you pass by Robin without meeting her eyes and make a quick escape to the bathroom. Locking yourself into the small room for a moment to collect yourself. 

Despite the anger you are feeling, you don’t want to ruin the night for Steve. 

You splash some cold water and run your fingers through your hair. 

With tears in your eyes, you stare at yourself in the mirror. 

Whether it’s tears of anger or tears of sadness. You are sick of it. You are sick of yourself. You are sick of crying. You are sick of the pining, of the jealousy, of the sadness.

Steve had given Nancy everything. He tried new things with her while you were grieving your relationship, crying yourself to sleep and thinking about him like a goddamn fool while he was having the time of his life with a different girl. 

And Eddie, you try not to think about it, you try not to let the jealousy in. But you can’t push out the anger that you are feeling for him, right now. 

Or the anger that you are feeling for yourself.

How you take everything to heart. How you let everything and everyone hurt you. 

You are done. 

You are so fucking done. 

-

next chapter

-

tagging friends & mutuals

@taintedcigs @mysticmunson @littledemondani @wroteclassicaly @corrodedseraphine @corrodedcorpses @succubusmunson @trashmouth-richie @xxhellfirebunnyxx @take-everything-you-can @sherrylyn628 @chrissymjstan @somethingvicked @nemesis729

[reiderwriter]

♦️There Are No Words Left to Speak ♦️

Chapter 5 of That's What You Get

Prev Chap || Next Chap

Pairing: Spencer Reid X Fem Reader

Summary: In a panic, you spill your guts to Penelope and receive some much needed advice before your "date" with Reid.

Warnings: None!!

A/N: This one is 4k words long because I absolutely could not help myself 😭 I've has a lot of messages and asks about this series lately, and it's been really encouraging to see! If you like this chapter, please comment or reblog and let me know or come chat with me in my inbox! Happy Reading!!

You can find my masterlist here and the series masterlist here.

"Penelope, I fucked up and I need your advice," you screamed into the room as soon as the door slammed open, startling the other woman as she threw her phone up in surprise. 

"Jesus, Y/N, you're lucky I didn't reach for the all too full can of pepper spray I store in here, oh my god."

"I'm sorry, Pen, I'm just, I'm kinda freaking out, and I need your help."

"Are we going to need wine, or are we going to need ice cream and a chick flick? What kind of problem are we talking here?" she asked from her place at the desk. 

"I married Spencer in Vegas." You said and then clamped your hand over your mouth as you finally let the pressure of the weekends mess seep out of you now that you'd shared your secret. 

"Oh my god, both, we'll do both. We need both, let's go, let's go now."

–X– 

Penelope drove the two of you home, immediately moving into a mothering role as soon as the words left your mouth, and she could see your impending implosion. You were grateful that she didn’t ask you any further questions as you made your way back to her apartment, just turning on the radio to a channel playing 90s pop hits and simply letting you calm down through the fun music. 

When you finally got through her door, she let you get comfortable and then immediately came back with all the things she promised. 

“Okay, I know you’re more a rose girl, but all I have is this really nice white that Derek got me for my last birthday and half a bottle of tequila, and I think it’s better for the both of us if we don’t open the tequila. Also, I have chocolate, cookie dough ice cream, and tissues, and When Harry Met Sally on DVD, I'm ready to be plugged in and played as soon as you say the word.” 

“Penelope, we do not tell you how brilliant you are as often as we should.” 

“While that is true, I’m trying my best not to immediately cave and ask you to spill, so can we please sing my praises after you explain what you mean by saying you married Spencer.” 

“God, Penelope, I don’t know what happened,” you let your head hang in your hands and she immediately moved to sit closer to you, rubbing a hand over your back and getting the tissues ready. 

“We went out drinking, and my mom got in my head earlier in that call I took, and I don’t remember anything and then I woke up and we were in bed together and-” you rambled out, lifting your head up as you tried to explain, but she cut you off quickly there.

“You were in bed together? Did you… you know, bump uglies with Spencer? Do the old in n’ out? Sorry, I’m making this worse, I’ll shut up now,” she said, but you laughed at her enthusiasm, and you felt more of the weekend’s tension leave your body. You knew that you had made the right decision coming to Penelope with this. She always knew how to make you feel better. 

“I don’t know, but it looks like it. TMI but-”

“Hold on, I don’t think I want to know what the Good Doctor is like in bed.” She visibly shuddered, and you let out another shaky laugh. 

“Well considering I remember none of it, you’d be hard pressed to get those details from me. I did wake up handcuffed to the bed, though.” 

“Shut the front door, no you did not!” Penelope’s jaw dropped. “Oh god, I’m almost morbidly curious, but I don’t want to open that can of worms. Sorry, please continue.” 

You took a swig of the wine she poured you and relaxed a bit further into her couch, pulling your legs up under you to find a more comfortable position as you told the rest of your story to Penelope, gaining more confidence with each of her reactions to what you told her. 

“So, now we just need to track down our two witnesses and get the marriage quietly annulled, and we can forget it ever happened.” You could hear the frown in your voice before you realised you were making that kind of expression, and from Penelope’s reaction, you could see that she’d noticed too. 

“Oh.. oh, I know that look. You don’t want the annulment, do you?” 

“Yes! I mean, no! Look, I really don’t know how to answer that right now, it’s just…” you trailed off, and Penelope silently filled your wine glass again, not saying anything and letting you come around at your own pace. 

“Earlier today, after we told Rossi, and before I came running to you, he… he kissed my forehead, and he called me Mrs. Reid, and I really liked it. And I didn’t think about it before, but Reid is nice, and he is good, and he is obviously really smart, and, god  he’d be a great dad, and he took care of me yesterday and today… Penelope, I think I have a crush on my husband.” You gasped out, feeling the weight of your revelation as it hit you straight in the gut. 

“But we talked about it and we’re getting an annulment and now it’s like I fucked up before I really got the chance to let it go anywhere, and what if it’s a mistake? What if I made the world’s greatest fuck up and married a great man in Vegas and then threw it all away a week later?” you raked your hand through your hair quickly, trying to ignore the tears forming quickly in your eyes. 

“Oh my god, sweetie, it’s going to be okay… You’re going to have to trust me when I tell you that it’s going to be okay…” she patted you on the back and you let the tears fall down a bit, quickly dabbing them away with the now balled up tissue in your hand. 

“I don’t know if I can, Pen…” you tried to smile up at her, but you could feel your lips wobbling and you let your head hang again before you could let out a choked sob. 

“No, nonononoonono, listen to me… Okay, promise you won’t hate me after I say this?” She said, squishing your cheeks between her hands as she made you look up into her eyes. 

“I pwomise,” you sniffed out, voice muffled by her strong grip. She let you go then, content that she had your attention. 

“I know for a fact that the boy is as infatuated with you as you are with him because… because I saw you two.” She stopped there to watch your reaction, but you froze, so she continued.

“You… you called me from wherever you guys were out in Vegas, mumbled some words over the phone and then sent me a picture of a brochure with an address on it, and then when I turned up it was a wedding chapel and you were getting married.” She winced out those last words, and you gasped at the confession. 

“You were one of the witnesses! Penelope!” You pointed an accusatory finger at her, but it was half-hearted. You knew that you were stubborn enough while sober. You certainly wouldn’t have been persuaded out of something you obviously wanted while blackout drunk. 

“I know, I know, I’m sorry, but you guys were just too cute! He was giving you all these small kisses on your forehead and on your cheeks, and you looked like innocent kids giddy and high on love, and I didn’t want to bring you back down to earth. You looked so happy, and I do not make it a habit to get in the way of my friends’ happiness.” 

“Penelope, why didn’t you say anything?” You groan out, sounding a bit like a petulant teenager who has just discovered her mom threw out a shirt she hadn’t worn in years. 

“I wanted to, but I was told not to…” she winced away. “And before you ask, I won’t tell you who else was there! Just know it was someone else who also loves both of you and would’ve pulled you two out of there. No questions asked if they thought you were making a stupid decision!” 

You let the revelations sink in, one by one. Penelope was there. Reid couldn’t keep his lips off of you. The other witness thought you two were good together. It almost didn’t surprise you when you started giggling, finding humour in the situation at least. 

“Oh my god, Penelope, I got married in Vegas to my coworker. And I think I’m in love with him now.” You were in a fit of giggles now, and Penelope hesitantly joined in at first. 

“Yeah, I suppose it is funny when you put it that way.” 

“God, what am I going to do? How am I going to face him from now on?” You pulled yourself together again and faced Penelope again, hoping that she would have actual answers for your very rhetorical question. 

“Well, at least we have a couple of days off now. You don’t have to see him again until we go to work.” 

“No, we have a date tomorrow,” you said matter-of-factly. “Appointment, really, he’s reading some books on alcohol induced memory loss tonight, and then I’m going over to his place to see if any of it can help us fill in the blanks.” 

“Oh god, you’re going to talk books with Reid. That’s practically as romantic as it gets for him. No wonder he wifed you up.” You playfully kicked her leg, and she laughed again. “Okay, so no avoidance, okay. Maybe you could put the moves on him? Try to recreate that scene with the handcuffs. Who knows what might happen.” She wiggled her eyebrows at you then, and you did your best not to once again be overcome by a fit of giggles.

“Okay, enough of my romantic problems. I was promised When Harry Met Sally and that ice cream has probably melted, so let’s get to it.” 

–X–

You braced yourself at the apartment door as you psyched yourself up to knock. As promised, you’d been greeted in the morning by a text from Spencer with his address and a proposed time to meet. He’d suggested 5pm, and you’d agreed, but here you were 20 minutes early, probably looking overdressed and over eager to spend time with your coworker/ husband/ soon to be former husband, maybe. 

You’d left Penelope’s apartment that morning, having had an impromptu sleepover, happy that you’d at least confirmed your own feelings. You’d taken a taxi to collect your car, then spent the rest of your time at home overthinking and overpreparing. 

You’d put on a dress and some make-up, and you were almost regretting the decision now you were on his doorstep, wondering what he’d think. You worked one of the toughest jobs in the world together, and you knew that he’d seen you completely black and blue after going blow for blow with unsubs in the past. Would he think this sudden effort was weird? You tried not to pace, knowing that your footsteps in the hall would alert him to your presence, but you couldn’t bring yourself to knock just yet. 

You checked your phone again. 4:45. You couldn’t spend another fifteen minutes out here overthinking, so you finally just pushed ahead and knocked. Almost as if he had been waiting on the other side of the door this entire time, Reid answered immediately, not even letting you get a third rap in before he was there standing in front of you. 

“Hi,” you said, standing there awkwardly with your hand still up, ready to knock again. 

“Hey,” he replied, smiling at you. 

You felt his eyes trail down your body, taking in your appearance. The dress you’d chosen wasn’t particularly special, just a mid-length tiered dress with bow straps. The weather was getting chillier so you’d layered it over a plain turtleneck, enjoying the added bonus of not having to conceal down your neck to mask the love bites he’d lavished upon you only a few nights prior. 

You looked at him as well, and you were pleasantly surprised by his casual wear. He was more dressed down than he was in the office, but not by much. He was still wearing slacks, and a button down shirt as well, but he’d thrown a beaten up CalTech sweater over the top of them, and he looked so cosy you wanted to bury your head in his chest. He was wearing his glasses, and you were so thankful for that, as you forgot how well they suited him, fitting him perfectly. 

“You’re early.” He said, finally breaking the silence between the two of you, drawing you out of the trance he’d kept you in while you took in the sight of him. 

“Yeah, I guess I just overestimated how long it was going to take to get here. Is that okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah, it’s great, totally fine. Come in.” He moved his body to the side slightly so you could enter the door, but kept his outer arm pressed against the door so you had to duck under it, brushing past him as you went. The small contact made your entire body buzz, your heartrate picking up as you willed yourself to act natural. 

“The food should be here any minute.” He smiled as he followed you back into his apartment. “I wanted it to arrive before you got here so I could surprise you.” You turned around to face him, and you could hear the bashfulness in his voice as he made the admission. 

“Sorry for ruining the surprise,” you smiled up at him. “What did you order?” 

“I remembered you mentioned that Korean streetfood place a while back that does those spicy rice cakes and kimbap rolls, so I got us some of that. Is that okay?” 

“Sounds perfect.” You were touched that he even remembered the conversation when you yourself couldn’t even think of when it might have happened. He turned and walked further into the apartment, and you followed him this time, finally looking around and taking it all in. 

The walls were obviously lined with bookshelves, and there were books laying around in piles everywhere. The walls were painted a dark colour, which made the space feel calming, almost more intimate, and sunlight was streaming in from the open window on the back wall. 

“Sorry, it’s not much. Take a seat wherever, and I’ll grab those books I was talking about.” 

You took a seat on the couch and watched him trail around the room, picking up books from several shelves and stacks. 

“Okay, this is all of them. So the main takeaway is that it usually takes two weeks to fully recover memories from alcohol induced blackouts.” He explained, bringing you a stack at least eight books high. 

“Spencer, did you read all of these last night?” You asked. 

“Yeah, I said I would, I thought it would help.” 

“Spencer,” you took his hand into yours as he set the books on the floor and flopped down to the couch beside you. “I really appreciate you putting in all this effort to help us, but you could’ve just come home and relaxed, you know. Our case was long and tough, and now all of this, you deserve a break.” You stroked your thumb over the back of his hand, trying to make the gesture calm and reassuring. 

“I know, I wanted to do this. I want to remember what happened between us,” he whispered the words softly, not needing to fill the space with much sound as you’d crept closer and closer together since he’d returned. 

“So, uh, two weeks then, is that it, we just have to wait for the memories to return?” you asked quietly, letting go of the small moment you’d shared to get back to the task at hand. 

“It seemed so, but there are some other more general tips we could implement that could help us piece together what happened. We might at least be able to figure out who our witnesses were.” 

You felt almost guilty then, but you kept your mouth shut. You’d decided the night before that you wouldn’t tell Reid about Penelope. At least not yet. You wanted the time first to see if he could possibly feel the same way about you before you worked up the courage to let him in on what you had learnt. 

“Yeah, I’m open to try anything. Within reason, that is.” 

“Great! I was thinking at first that maybe we could do a cognitive interview, but as we only have each other to work with, I thought that might make some of our answers more biased and not garner effective results. But we could still try to jog our memories by working out some of the same emotions, doing some things we could have done that night, and seeing if any of it rings a bell?” 

“Some of the things we did that night?” 

“Yeah,” he repled. 

“Like… like make out or get handcuffed to a bed?” You enjoyed watching the flush creep up his neck, and his eyes go wide as he struggled to backtrack on that one. 

“No, no! I mean, unless you want to, or you think it would help?” It was your turn to be left speechless, your mouth suddenly not complying with your brain as you begged yourself to respond somehow. All you could muster was a glance down at his lips that lingered a bit too long, your body slowly creeping forward. 

He noticed and moved closer towards you as well, letting his hand grasp your waist as you got caught in his atmosphere. 

“It’s worth a try, right? To regain our memories.” He supplied you with the words, letting you stay silent as your lips grew closer and closer together, seconds away from taking your breath away forever. 

A loud rap at the door and a shout of “delivery” had the two of you suddenly bouncing away from each other, Reid scrambling to the door to collect the food, while you stood up awkwardly and tried to pretend there was something really interesting on his bookshelf that had caught your attention all of a sudden. 

For the Nth time in so many days, you found yourself trying to convince your heart to beat a little quieter, and you managed to get yourself under control as he returned with the food.

“I’m sorry, I lost track of time…” he trailed off as you nodded, joining him back at the couch as he began unpacking the food. 

“It’s totally fine, we should eat anyways, trust me when I say this stuff doesn’t taste even half as good cold.” You smiled at him, but it didn’t go quite to your eyes. You really wanted to kiss him, and you were really doing your best to control your disappointment, not wanting to show off how desperate for him you were. 

“Well, you’re in luck, because you now get to witness one of my only flaws,” he said, fishing out two sets of chopsticks from the delivery bag. “I am absolutely terrible with chopsticks.” 

You giggled at him and grabbed the pair he offered you, letting out a dramatic fake gasp. “And you only tell me after we get married? That’s it, I want a divorce,” you laugh, and the two of you settle down into a comfortable silence as you begin your meal. 

–X– 

Two hours later, and you’re still no closer to locking lips with the man than you were earlier. You’d had a nice time talking with him over the food, both of you sitting like kids on the floor as you ate over his coffee table. He’d told you about a Korean film festival he’d attended a few years back, one of many international film festivals he’d been to, and you sat and listened, in awe of the way his eyes lit up when he talked about something that excited him. You hoped that one day, he’d talk about you in that same way. 

You helped him clean up and settled back onto the couch, where he’d mentioned having a copy of one of the films that had since been subtitled, and you ended up in another movie marathon.

The movie was good, but his presence next to you was even better. He’d stretched out his arms on the couch behind you, letting you snuggle up into his side as you pulled your legs up and under you, screwing yourself up in a comfortable little ball, burrowing into him for warmth. He was a fire beside you, and you wished you were bold enough to push further into him, to drag your hands across his skin and feel even more of him, continuing the exploration from earlier. But you weren’t, and, honestly, you were tired, so you let yourself sit peacefully beside him, touching but not much, as you were lulled to sleep by the sounds of the TV. 

It was pitch black outside when you finally cracked your eyes open again, but he was still there next to you on the couch. The movie had been turned off, and so had the TV, and there was a blanket now wrapped around your legs, so he had obviously moved, but he had also come back to you. You shifted your head up to look at him and smiled. He’d picked up another book from who knows what shelf and was reading slowly so as not to wake you with the movements of his hand as he traced down the page. Your head had moved from his chest to his lap, and he held the book off to the side in one hand, his other resting protectively over your waist. He was so engrossed by his book that he hadn’t even realised you’d moved and that you were awake until you spoke to him. 

“Spencer? What time is it?” you asked, your voice thick with sleep. 

“It’s 11:30. You fell asleep during the movie and you looked like you could use the sleep.” 

“Wow, what a way to tell a girl she doesn’t look so good,” you laughed at him as he pouted down at you. 

“I didn’t mean that. Y/N, you look beautiful today. You look beautiful everyday.” 

You lifted yourself up from his lap, one hand braced on either side of his legs on the couch as you bought yourself eye-to-eye with him, your chests close enough to touch if you took a big breath in. Instead, yours were shallow as you looked up at him through heavy eyes. 

“Thank you, Spencer.” You whispered, silently begging him to close the space between the two of you. But he didn’t, instead, clearing his throat and putting his book down, breaking your eye contact. 

“I should be getting home now. It’s pretty late.” You said, standing up from the couch. He followed you up and around as you started collecting your things and organising the space you’d occupied. 

“Y/N it’s late, and you’re tired. I can’t let you drive home like that. An estimated 30% of road accidents occur due to sleep deficiency, you know.” 

“It’s fine, I don’t want to get a taxi and just leave my car here and then have to come back in the morning. I’ll be fine driving,” you said, but he softly took the keys out of your hands as you grabbed them from your bag. 

“Stay here tonight.” He said, less of a suggestion than an already established fact. You looked up at him and knew there was no changing his mind, but he continued anyway. 

“I have a spare toothbrush and some old clothes you can probably use as pajamas, and it’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before. Maybe…maybe waking up next to each other again will help jog our memories, too. We only have until the end of the week, right?” 

He looked at you expectantly, and you let out a little sigh and nodded your head, letting him guide you away to the bedroom and back into sleeping in his arms. 

--×--

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[gardenschedule]

Quotes about John Lennon’s sexuality

This is just a reference post for convenience, not an analysis (but I’ve added some comments here and there). This is extremely long with a lot of quotes! And where there's smoke there's fire, imo.

John's (internalized) homophobia: Starting with this topic to provide context & contrast to the rest of this post

At the party the boys’ old friend Bob Wooler, the Cavern emcee, made a crack to John about his holiday. John, who’d had plenty to drink, exploded. He leapt on Bob, and by the time he was dragged off Bob had a black eye and badly bruised ribs. I took John home as fast as I could, and Brian drove Bob to the hospital.

I was appalled that John had lashed out again. I’d thought those days were over. But John was still livid, muttering that Bob had called him a queer.

Cynthia Lennon, John

[Bob Wooler had] insinuated that me and Brian had had an affair in Spain. I was out of me mind with drink. You know, when you get down to the point where you want to drink out of all the empty glasses, that drunk. And he was saying, ‘Come on, John, tell me’ – something like that – ‘Tell me about you and Brian, we all know.’ And obviously I must have been frightened of the fag in me to get so angry. You know, when you’re twenty-one, you want to be a man, and all that. If somebody said it now, I wouldn’t give a shit.

John Lennon, John Lennon: For The Record, Peter McCabe and Robert D Schonfeld

“The Beatles’ first national coverage was me beating up Bob Wooler at Paul’s 21st party because he intimated I was homosexual. I must have had a fear that maybe I was homosexual to attack him like that and it’s very complicated reasoning. But I was very drunk and I hit him and I could have really killed somebody then. And that scared me… That was in the Daily Mirror, it was the back page…”

John Lennon, talking about a (one sided) fight he had with Cavern DJ Bob Wooler at Paul’s 21st birthday party in 1963.

Everyone in Liverpool knew that Epstein was gay, and some kid in the audience screamed, ‘John Lennon’s a fucking queer!’ And John – who never wore his glasses on stage – put his guitar down and went into the crowd, shouting, ‘Who said that?’ So this kid says, ‘I fucking did.’ John went after him and BAM, gave him the Liverpool kiss, sticking the nut on him – twice! And the kid went down in a mass of blood, snot and teeth. Then John got back on the stage. ‘Anybody else?’ he asked. Silence. ‘All right then. “Some Other Guy”.’”

Lemmy Kilmister, White Line Fever: The Biography. (2004)

“Victim in 1961 was one of the first British films to deal properly and thoughtfully with the subject. Dirk Bogarde welcomed the opportunity to play the homosexual barrister, and there were some very tense scenes between him and his wife, Sylvia Syms. In one scene, Dirk Bogarde lifts his garage door at the back of the mews to discover that someone has painted graffiti about him on the wall. The Beatles were sitting together at a Cavern lunchtime session and John Lennon, who was talking to Paul and George, was making biting remarks about Victim, which was on at the Odeon. I knew by then that Brian was what he was, and I thought, ‘Well, I am surprised at John, who is 21 and a young man of the world.’ He was making such nasty, puritanical observations, but I never said anything as they didn’t know that I was listening.”

Bob Wooler, c/o Spencer Leigh, The Best of Fellas: The Story of Bob Wooler. (2002)

If somebody is going to manage me, I want to know them inside out. He told me he was a fag.

 I like “Honky Tonk Woman” but I think Mick’s a joke, with all that fag dancing, I always did

I think its concept is revolutionary, and I hope it’s for workers and not for tarts and fags.

I don’t know about the “history”; the people who are in control and in power, and the class system and the whole bullshit bourgeoisie is exactly the same, except there is a lot of fag middle class kids with long, long hair walking around London in trendy clothes

I don’t dig that junkie fag scene he lives in; I don’t know whether he lives like that or what.

Casual homophobia in Lennon Remembers (Notable for the increase in homophobic language post-primary scream therapy, here is some interesting speculation about how these two things are related)

The violence that had been building inside John Lennon all night came bursting out the moment he left the studio. It struck so fast and unexpectedly that it stunned May Pang. She recalled that John was walking unsteadily toward the parking lot when suddenly he cast a drunken look over his shoulder at Jesse Ed Davis. Running over to him, Lennon gave Jesse Ed a passionate kiss on the mouth. Not to be outdone, Jesse Ed grabbed John and kissed him back. Lennon screamed, “F****t!” — and knocked Jesse flat on his ass.

The Lives of John Lennon by Albert Goldman (May Pang, describing an incident during the recording of Rock 'n' Roll in 1973: p.564)

It turned into a full-on fight. John was incredibly strong! He got me in some kind of a hold behind my back that I could not get out of, like a full nelson. And he started to kiss me on the mouth! He was laughin’ and kissin’ me on the mouth. I was strugglin’ to git away and I couldn’t git away. Then he stuck his tongue in my mouth. God! So I bit him. Bit him on the tongue. That pissed him off. So he grabbed the marble ashtray that we couldn’t break and banged me on the head. Knocked me cold.

The Lives of John Lennon by Albert Goldman (a direct quote from Jesse Ed Davis about a different night: p. 576-577)

Alternatively, he could be openly supportive:

Why make it sad to be gay? Doing your thing is O.K. Our bodies our own So leave us alone Go play with yourself – today.

A poem submitted for Len Richmond and Gary Noguera's Gay Liberation Handbook, on 30 May 1972

John spreading rumours: John (and Yoko) had a propensity for intentionally spreading rumours about his sexuality, with many people claiming that he found it funny. Multiple people refused to believe his own words about his experiences or willingness with men.

John told me he had had a one-night stand with Brian, on a holiday with him in Spain, when Brian had invited him out, a few days after the birth of Julian in 1963, leaving Cyn alone. I mentioned this brief holiday in the book, but not what John had alleged had taken place. Partly, I didn't really believe it, though John was daft enough to try almost anything once. John was certainly not homosexual, and this boast, or lie, would have given the wrong impression. It was also not fair on Cynthia, his then wife.

Hunter Davies, The Beatles: The Authorised Biography (updated edition, 2010)

John himself said he finally allowed Brian to make love to him “to get it out of the way.” Those who knew John well, who had known him for years, don’t believe it for a moment. John was aggressively heterosexual and had never given a hint that he was anything but.

Tony Bramwell, Magical Mystery Tours: My Life With The Beatles, 2014

John roared with laughter at the rumours that began afterwards. Typically, he encouraged the stories that he and Brian were gay lovers because he thought it was funny and John was one of the world’s great wind-up merchants. He told me afterwards in one of our frankest heart-to-hearts that Brian never seriously did proposition him. He had teased Brian about the young men he kept gazing at and the odd ones who had found their way to his room. Brian had joked to John about the women who hurled themselves at him. ‘If he’d asked me, I probably would have done anything he wanted. I was so much in awe of Brian then I’d have tried a night of vice-versa. But he never wanted me like that. Sure, I took the mickey a bit and pretended to lead him on. But we both knew we were joking.

Alistair Taylor, With The Beatles, 2003

Years later, John finally came clean about what had happened: not to anyone who’d been around at the time, but to the unshockable woman with whom he shared the last decade of his life. He said that one night during the trip, Brian had cast aside shyness and scruples and finally come on to him, but that he’d replied, “If you feel like that, go out and find a hustler.” Afterward, he had deliberately fed Pete Shotton the myth of his brief surrender, so that everyone would believe his power over Brian to be absolute.

Philip Norman, John Lennon: The Life, 2008

The next night Elliot [Mintz] took us out with a friend of his, Sal Mineo, and we all went to a gay cabaret/discotheque. John was oblivious to the gay ambience. He was curious about everyone’s sexuality and liked to gossip about who was sleeping with whom, whether they were gay or straight. John made no judgements about homosexuality but was really curious about who was and who wasn’t gay.

He knew that his appearance at a gay club might start rumors about his own sexuality, and it made him laugh. He told me that there had been rumors about him and his first manager, Brian Epstein, and that he usually didn’t deny them. He liked the fact that people could be titillated by having suspicions about his masculinity. Then I was the one who was laughing. “How could anyone believe a man who likes women as much as you do is gay?” I told him.

May Pang’s Loving John (1983).

Q. Have you ever fucked a guy?

A. Not yet, I thought I’d save it til I was 40, life begins at 40 you know, tho I never noticed it.

Q. It is trendy to be bisexual and you’re usually ‘keeping up with the Jones’, haven’t you ever… there was talk about you and PAUL…

A. Oh, I thought it was about me and Brian Epstein… anyway, I’m saving all the juice for my own version of THE REAL FAB FOUR BEATLES STORY etc.. etc..

John Lennon self interview for Andy Warhol’s Interview Magazine (November 1974).

John: Yes, all your best friends let you know what's going on. I was trying to put it 'round that I was gay, you know-- I thought that would throw them off... dancing at all the gay clubs in Los Angeles, flirting with the boys... but it never got off the ground.

Q: I think I've only heard that lately about Paul.

John: Oh, I've had him, he's no good. [Laughter]

John Lennon, interviewed by Lisa Robinson for Hit Parader: A conversation with John Lennon (December 1975).

“It’s great,” Ono laughs. “I mean, both John and I thought it was good that people think we were bisexual, or homosexual.” She laughs again.

“Uh, well, the story I was told was a very explicit story, and from that I think they didn’t have it [sex],” Ono tells me. “But they went to Spain, and when they came back, tons of reporters were asking, ‘Did you do it, did you do it?’ So he said, ‘I did it.’ Isn’t that amazing? But of course he would say that. I’m sure Brian Epstein made a move, yeah.”

And Lennon said no to Epstein?

“He just didn’t want to do it, I think.”

Yoko Ono: I Still Fear John’s Killer by Tim Teeman for the Daily Beast (13 October 2015).

Over dinner the Wenners learned the secrets of the Beatles kingdom from Ono, who would often suggest to Wenner that John Lennon was gay. “She’s always hinted that there was some gay component to John,” said Wenner, “but in a vague or generalized way, like, ‘Isn’t everybody gay?’ Or, ‘I always told John he was gay.’ ” (She also told McCartney this theory after Lennon died, which he didn’t believe.)”

Joe Hagan, Sticky Fingers: The Life and Times of Jann Wenner & Rolling Stone Magazine. (2017)

On the other hand, he supposedly hated the rumours:

Claims have been made since that Brian and John had a gay relationship. Nothing could be further from the truth. John was a hundred per cent heterosexual and, like most lads at that time, horrified by the idea of homosexuality.

It was a holiday John came to regret because it sparked off a string of rumours about his relationship with Brian. He had to put up with sly digs, winks and innuendo that he was secretly gay. It infuriated him: all he'd wanted was a break with a friend, but it was turned into so much more.

Cynthia Lennon, John, 2005

And I just went on holiday. I watched Brian picking up the boys. I like playing a bit faggy, all that. It was enjoyable, but there were big rumours in Liverpool, it was terrible. Very embarrassing. Rumors about you and Brian? Oh, fuck knows—yes, yes. I was pretty close to Brian because if somebody's going to manage me, I want to know them inside out.

John Lennon, Jann S. Wenner, Lennon Remembers, 1970

Unfortunately, certain Liverpool acquaintances (who had no way of knowing that there was a kernel of truth to their allegations) wouldn't let John hear the end of it. All in good fun, no doubt, but John was still too enamored of his macho self-image to take lightly any inference that he was anything less than 100 percent heterosexual.

The Beatles, Lennon, and me - Pete Shotton

John's comments about his sexuality:

It’s just handy to fuck your best friend. That’s what it is. And once I resolved the fact that it was a woman as well, it’s all right. We go through the trauma of life and death every day so it’s not so much of a worry about what sex we are anymore.

John Lennon, interview w/ Jonathan Cott for Rolling Stone: Yoko Ono and her sixteen-track voice. (March 18th, 1971)

I just realized that [Yoko] knew everything I knew, and more, probably, and it was coming out of a woman’s head. It just sort of bowled me over, you know? And it was like finding gold or something. To find somebody that you can go and get pissed with, and have exactly the same relationship as any mate in Liverpool you’d ever had, but also you could go to bed with him, and it could stroke your head when you felt tired, or sick, or depressed. It could also be Mother. And obviously, that’s what the male-female – you know, you could take those roles with each other.

John Lennon, interview w/ Peter McCabe and Robert D. Schonfeld c/o Peter McCabe and Robert D. Schonfeld, John Lennon: For The Record. (September 5th, 1971)

It’s a plus, it’s not a minus. The plus is that your best friend, also, can hold you without… I mean, I’m not a homosexual, or we could have had a homosexual relationship and maybe that would have satisfied it, with working with other male artists. [faltering] An artist – it’s more – it’s much better to be working with another artist of the same energy, and that’s why there’s always been Beatles or Marx Brothers or men, together. Because it’s alright for them to work together or whatever it is. It’s the same except that we sleep together, you know? I mean, not counting love and all the things on the side, just as a working relationship with her, it has all the benefits of working with another male artist and all the joint inspiration, and then we can hold hands too, right?

John Lennon, interview w/ Sandra Shevey. (Mid-June?, 1972)

I was on holiday with Brian Epstein in Spain, where the rumours went around that he and I were having a love affair. Well, it was almost a love affair, but not quite. It was never consummated. But it was a pretty intense relationship. It was my first experience with a homosexual that I was conscious was homosexual. He had admitted it to me. We had this holiday together because Cyn was pregnant, and I went to Spain and there were lots of funny stories. We used to sit in a cafe in Torremolinos looking at all the boys and I’d say, ‘Do you like that one, do you like this one?’ I was rather enjoying the experience, thinking like a writer all the time: I am experiencing this, you know.

John Lennon, Rolling Stone, 1980

I was thinking, if only I could get out of Liverpool, be famous and rich, that would be great. I’ve always wanted to be a famous artist, you know? Possibly I’d have to marry a very rich old lady… or man, you know… to… to look after me while I did my art. But then Rock & Roll came and I thought ‘Ah, this is the one’, so I didn’t have to marry anybody or live with them, you know?

John Lennon interview

There was even some discussion, albeit not very serious, of whether he should stick to his own gender. “John said ‘It would hurt you like crazy if I made it with a girl. With a guy, maybe you wouldn’t be hurt, because that’s not competition. But I can’t make it with a guy because I love women too much, and I’d have to fall in love with the guy and I don’t think I can.’”

John Lennon: The Life

I look at early pictures of meself, and I was torn between being Marlon Brando and being the sensitive poet – the Oscar Wilde part of me with the velvet, feminine side. I was always torn between the two, mainly opting for the macho side, because if you showed the other side, you were dead.

John Lennon, December 5th, 1980

“John believed in my work as an artist wasn’t accepted in part because I am a woman. He got angry when people said about me, “She’s not a woman, she’s a female impersonator.” John said to me, “If I had been gay and gotten together with a guy who was talented like you, after ten years that guy would have become famous as an artist in his own right. Maybe we should come out and say, ‘Actually, Yoko is a guy.’ Maybe that will do it!”

Yoko Ono, interview w/ Jon Wiener, c/o Jon Wiener, Come Together: John Lennon In His Time. (1984)

In this intense, intimate and revealing original cassette recording of a private conversation in 1969 between John Lennon and Yoko Ono, the couple speaks primarily about Yoko’s past relationships, her music and art, and their random views on sex, love, promiscuity, and homosexuality. […] [Lennon] adds that he had never met an attractive woman that had sexually aroused him to any great degree.

Description of the 45-minute audiotape auctioned in 2009 by Alexander Autographs.

Yoko's comments about his sexuality:

“Well, that’s another thing. John and I had a big talk about it, saying, basically, all of us must be bisexual. And we were sort of in a situation of thinking that we’re not [bisexual] because of society. So we are hiding the other side of ourselves, which is less acceptable. But I don’t have a strong sexual desire towards another woman.”

Did Lennon have sex with other men?

“I think he had a desire to, but I think he was too inhibited,” says Ono.

“No, not inhibited. He said, ‘I don’t mind if there’s an incredibly attractive guy.’ It’s very difficult: They would have to be not just physically attractive, but mentally very advanced too. And you can’t find people like that.”

So did Lennon ever have sex with men?

“No, I don’t think so,” says Ono. “The beginning of the year he was killed, he said to me, ‘I could have done it, but I can’t because I just never found somebody that was that attractive.’ Both John and I were into attractiveness—you know—beauty.”

Yoko Ono: I Still Fear John’s Killer by Tim Teeman for the Daily Beast (13 October 2015).

"As mild and oblique as the comment was [Paul's "You took your lucky break and broke it in two" line from "Too Many People"], it seemed to cut John to the heart. On top of the questionnaire inside theMcCartney album and the lawsuit, it was like the tipping point between a divorcing couple that turns love into savage, no-holds-barred hostility. Indeed, John's wounded anger was more that of an ex-spouse than ex-colleague, reinforcing a suspicion already in Yoko's mind that his feelings for Paul had been far more intense than the world at large ever guessed. From chance remarks he had made, she gathered there had even been a moment where - on the principle that bohemians should try everything - he had contemplated an affair with Paul, but had been deterred by Paul's immovable heterosexuality. Nor, apparently, was Yoko the only one to have picked up on this. Around Apple, in her hearing, Paul would sometimes be called John's princess. She had also once heard a rehearsal tape with John's voice calling out "Paul ... Paul ... " in a strangely subservient, pleading way. "I knew there was something going on there," she remembers. "From his point of view, not from Paul's. And he was so angry at Paul, I couldn't help wondering what it was really about.""

Philip Norman, John Lennon: The Life, 2008

I’m sure that if he had been a woman or something, he would have been a great threat, because there’s something definitely very strong with me, John, and Paul.

Yoko Ono, Revolution Tape, June 4th 1968

Friends & acquaintances comments on his sexuality:

I realised I was probably bisexual; there was nothing to be ashamed of in this – John Lennon had reputedly spoken to mutual friends of his own experiments.

Who I Am: A Memoir, Pete Townshend 2012

PAUL: There were lots of people asking cheeky questions, and they were always saying, “Well, why–have you ever tried homosexuality, John?” You know, they always used to ask all that kind of stuff. I remember John saying to them, “No, I’ve never met a fella I fancy enough.” And that was his kind of opinion. You know, “I may go–I may be gay one day, if some fella really turns me on.” He was–he was that open about it. But as far as I was concerned, I slept in a million hotel rooms–as we all did–slept in a million places with John, and there was never any hint of it.

December 24th, 1983: interview with DJ Roger Scott

“And you, Icke?” asked Paul. “Who’s your favourite author?” “Henry Miller. I think he’s very good,” I said. In that moment John suddenly looked over at me. Until then he had been watching Bettina, the bar lady, rinsing glasses and tidying up the bar, with his typical somewhat blasé expression. Our discussion hadn’t seemed to interest him much. Now he was looking directly into my eyes. Quietly and without taking his eyes off me, he walked around the whole counter over to me, planted a kiss on my mouth and went back to his spot. At first, I was quite surprised and didn’t know what to do about it, then I found it rather funny and thought little of it. A few days later, it happened again. I happened upon* him in the hallway behind the stage and again he took my hand and kissed me. At some point the thought occurred to me, “man, he thinks I’m gay, but I can’t help him with that.” What was really going on, I don’t know. Maybe he meant the kisses as overtures; he was even treated as a closet case by homosexuals.

Hans-Walther (Icke) Braun (a friend of the Beatles in Hamburg)

"What happened," John explained, "is that Eppy just kept on and on at me. Until one night I finally just pulled me trousers down and said to him: 'Oh, for Christ's sake, Brian, just stick it up me fucking arse then.' "And he said to me, 'Actually, John, I don't do that kind of thing. That's not what I like to do.' "'Well,' I said, 'what is it you want to do, then?' "And he said, 'I'd really just like to touch you, John.' "And so I let him toss me off." And that was that. End of story. "That's all, John?" I said. "Well, so what? What's the big fucking deal, then?" "Yeah, so fucking what! The poor bastard. He's having a fucking hard enough time anyway." This was in reference to the "butch" dockers who, on several recent occasions, had rewarded Brian's advances by beating him to a bloody pulp. "So what harm did it do, then, Pete, for fuck's sake?" John asked rhetorically. "No harm at all. The poor fucking bastard, he can't help the way he is." "No need to get so worked up," I said. "You know I don't give a shit. What's a fucking wank between friends anyway?"

Pete Shotton, Nicholas Schaffner, John Lennon: In My Life, 1983

I think he was trying to find himself a… what he’d call a soulmate. Someone who had as mad ideas as he had. I think he felt that she had the talent… but that’s debatable. But he needed that— he didn’t need a ‘mumsie’ partner at that point. He needed a mate. And I think he actually said, at some stage, in an interview that, you know— She’s the nearest thing to a man — a mate; man — that he’s ever had in a woman.

Cynthia Lennon, interviewed by Alex Belfield for BBC Radio (2006).

Paul wrote to me from the Star Club in Hamburg once, a great letter, it even had doodles on the front of it, but it was stolen. He said that in one of the clubs one night John Lennon ended up with a stunning, exotic-looking woman—only to discover on closer inspection that she was a he, which all the other Beatles found hilarious.

Sue Johnston (actress), The Mirror. (August 23rd, 2011)

Though raised amid the same homophobia as his companions, John seemed totally unshocked by St Pauli’s abundant drag scene; indeed, he often seemed actively to seek it out. ‘There was one particular club he used to like,’ Tony Sheridan remembers, ‘full of these big guys with hairy hands, deep voices—and breasts. But they used to make an effort to talk English. There was something about the place that seemed to make John feel at home.’

In John Lennon: The Life by Philip Norman (2008).

“We’d read all these things about leather and we didn’t have any leather but I had my oilskins and we had some polythene bags from somewhere. We all dressed up in them and wore them in bed. John stayed the night with us in the same bed. I don’t think anything very exciting happened and we all wondered what the fun was in being ‘kinky’. It was probably more my idea than John’s.”

Royston Ellis

In the same book Pauline speculates, sensationally, that John and her brother had a homosexual relationship. ‘I have known in my heart for many years that Stuart and John had a sexual relationship,’ she writes, though she fails to provide any firm evidence. Pauline wonders whether this ‘relationship’ was the real cause of the antagonism between Paul and Stu.

Fab, An Intimate Life of Paul McCartney

Journalist & author comments on his sexuality:

“No, he wasn’t sexually attracted to Paul. Paul was very very pretty, but he actually wasn’t someone who made gay men fancy him. John was much more likely to make a gay man like Brian Epstein because John seemed so straight, there was nothing sort of girly about John at all. But John wanted to be, in his mind, a real artist, that is someone who painted and did sculpture. And he thought that a real artist or he called it a bohemian, should be open to all experiences. He should perhaps have a homosexual experience. Who was around? Paul was around. They used to share beds you know, in these cheap hotels when they would go around with the Beatles. There was never any question of Paul ever reciprocating such a thing, it was merely a thought that according to Yoko had flitted across John’s mind. Now John could use sexuality, I mean he did somewhat play on the fact that Brian Epstein, the Beatles manager, was in love with him you know, but it was just a game really with John.”

Philip Norman interview

"Yet even [John's resentment over Paul announcing the breakup first] does not explain his later remark to Yoko that no one had ever hurt him the way Paul hurt him. It almost suggests that, deep beneath the schoolboy friendship and the complementary musical brilliance, lay some streak of homosexual adoration that John himself never realised. He might have longed to get away from Paul, but he could never quite get over him."

Philip Norman, Shout!, 1981

And any mention of Paul brought a wintry bleakness to her face. 'John always used to say,' [Yoko] told me at one point, 'that no one ever hurt him the way Paul hurt him.' The words suggested a far deeper emotional attachment between the two than the world had ever suspected---they were like those of a spurned lover---and I naturally included them in my account of my visit for the Sunday Times. After it appeared, I returned to my London flat one evening to be told by my then girlfriend, ‘Paul, phoned you.’ She said he wanted to know what Yoko had meant and that he’d seemed upset rather than angry.

Paul McCartney: The Life - Philip Norman.

“If you had a choice, Eppy,” John said, “if you could press a button and be hetero, would you do it?” Brian thought for a moment. “Strangely, no,” he said. A little later a peculiar game developed. John would point out some passing man to Brian, and Brian would explain to him what it was about the fellow that he found attractive or unattractive. “I was rather enjoying the experience,” John said, “thinking like a writer all the time: I am experiencing this.” And still later, back in their hotel suite, drunk and sleepy from the sweet Spanish wine, Brian and John undressed in silence. “It’s okay, Eppy,” John said, and lay down on his bed. Brian would have liked to have hugged him, but he was afraid. Instead, John lay there, tentative and still, and Brian fulfilled the fantasies he was so sure would bring him contentment, only to awake the next morning as hollow as before.

Peter Brown, The Love You Make, 1983

“[John and Janov] talked…about Brian Epstein…‘He knew Brian had adored him, and there was a lot of guilt there about the way he'd depended on Brian yet mistreated him,’ Janov recalls. They talked about John's notorious Spanish holiday with Brian in 1963 and the (to John) insignificant physical encounter that had resulted. The more Janov heard about Brian, the more he longed to have had him as a patient. ‘God, that was a tragic story. There was someone who needed therapy even more than John did.’”

Phillip Normans book, John Lennon: The Life.

Whilst the Beatles had always been marketed as a heterosexual group - in contrast with the Stones, whose image was androgynous - they were sympathetic to the homosexual population. Lennon himself was alleged to have had affairs with both men and women, and although he never openly admitted it to me, his condemnation of Britain as a land which feeds on a homosexual subsculture persuades me at this late stage that he was speaking from experience. I am sure that the break-up of the Beatles, or, more specifically, of John and Paul, must have been more traumatic than any of us suspect.

Sandra Shevey, The Other Side of Lennon

‘OK: John Reid said that when we were in Boston with Elton and John in 1974, he couldn’t resist asking John whether the rumours about him and Epstein were true. This was in response to John having said to John Reid, “You’re the most intimidating man I’ve met since Brian Epstein.” And so John Reid, never knowingly one to miss an opportunity, said, “Did you ever have sex with Brian?” And John said, “Twice. Once to see what it was like, and once to make sure I didn’t like it.” ‘All these years, by the way, I have not wanted to be the guy who declared, “John Lennon and Brian Epstein had sex.” You can appreciate how I feel about this. Do we want the historical record to be accurate, or does John have a right to privacy? And would it upset Cynthia [by now deceased], or Julian? I don’t mind about Yoko, she’d probably think it was a great idea. Bisexuality, wooh.’ ‘Simon Napier-Bell said that both Epstein and John told him they did it in Spain,’ I said. ‘Ah, I’m not the only one. Good,’ replied Paul.

...

But then there were John’s liaisons with David Bowie, which David himself told me about. According to him, it happened on several occasions. He didn’t go into detail, nor did I press him, but he was perfectly open about it. About Mick Jagger, too, I told Paul. ‘Huh. I feel sort of left out,’ said Paul.

Paul Gambaccini, Lesley-Ann Jones - The Search for John Lennon

"That Bowie worshipped Lennon was no secret…They'd met in Los Angeles, [Bowie] told me, during John's Lost Weekend…The crazy pair went out to play, according to David, when John was on yet another break from May [Pang] and far away from Yoko. They gender bendered about, John indulging again that 'inner fag' of his… They later 'hooked up': 'There was a whore in the middle, and it wasn't either of us,' David smirked. 'At some point in the proceedings, she left. I think it was a she. Not that we minded.' By the time they made it back to New York, the ambisextrous pair were 'lifelong friends!"

Lesley-Ann Jones - The Search for John Lennon

Marriage, Divorce & replacing Paul with Yoko:

"I used my resentment and withdrawing from Paul and the Beatles and the relationship with Paul to write 'How Do You Sleep?'

John (Source: Bill Harry, The John Lennon Encyclopedia, 2001)

JOHN: In a marriage, or a love affair – when the seven-year-itch or the twelve-year (note: there is no such thing as the twelve year itch but guess how long J&P were together) or whatever these things that you have to go through – there comes a point where the marriage collapses because they can’t face that reality, and they go seeking what they thought they should be having, still, somewhere else. I get a new girl, it’ll all be like that again; I get a new boy… But for all marriages, all couples, it’ll all be the same again. But what you lose is what you put into that… relationship.

September, 1980

There seem to be certain cycles that relationships go through. And the critical points are at different parts of the different cycles, different points on the – if there’s a straight line, there are different points, you know? And the bit, the new way of talking is like, “Well, why have a relationship? We can just stop and get another one.” But the karmic joke about that is, that any new relationship, presuming you’re lucky enough to find a new relationship anywhere near the relationship that you’re giving up – or exchanging, or walking away from, or have destroyed by inattention or inadvertent or selfishness or whatever it is – that you have to go through the same thing again anyway. You reach the same point.

John Lennon, interview w/ David Sheff for Playboy. (September, 1980)

"I'd like to thank Elton and the boys for having me on tonight. We tried to think of a number to finish off with so I can get out of here and be sick, and we thought we'd do a number of an old estranged fiancé of mine called Paul."

John, introducing "I Saw Her Standing There" at the Thanksgiving show at Madison Square Garden in 1974

You know, John loved Paul. No doubt about it. I remember once he said to me, “I’m the only person who’s allowed to say things like that about Paul. I don’t like it when other people do.” He didn’t like if other people said nasty things about Paul. And he always referred to Paul as his estranged fiancé and things like that, like he did on that [live] record ‘I Saw Her Standing There’ with Elton in Madison Square Garden.

1990: Former Beatles publicist Tony King

TRYNKA: When The Beatles split, did you feel relief? YOKO: No. I always thought, “John won’t be doing this thing with The Beatles and eventually I can do my work too.” That was my plan. But suddenly he’s saying, “I burned my bridge with them, so now it’s you, okay?” I thought, “My God, he was getting the thrill of working with three very strong individuals, and now I have to take all that brunt.” He did put it that way; he was “riding on the boat called Paul, and now I’m going to ride on a boat called Yoko.”

Yoko Ono, interview w/ Paul Trynka for MOJO. (May, 2003)

“. . . I mean, I think really what it was, really all that happened was that John fell in love. With Yoko. And so, with such a powerful alliance like that, it was difficult for him to still be seeing me. It was as if I was another girlfriend, almost. Our relationship was a strong relationship. And if he was to start a new relationship, he had to put this other one away. And I understood that. I mean, I couldn’t stand in the way of someone who’d fallen in love. You can’t say, “Who’s this?” You can’t really do that. If I was a girl, maybe I could go out and… But you know I mean in this case I just sort of said, right – I mean, I didn’t say anything, but I could see that was the way it was going to go, and that Yoko would be very sort of powerful for him. So um, we all had to get out the way.”

Paul McCartney, interview with German tv program Exclusiv, April 1985.

BARROW: She was a very strong influence on John, and may well have been telling him that he could do best on his own, but I still think that on the back of John’s mind would be this sort of fascination with wanting to get back with the first girlfriend, if you’d like [laughs], and it was to get back with Paul that he had so much history with.

Tony Barrow, The Beatles’ press officer

"[Paul] said it was written about Julian. He knew I was splitting with Cyn and leaving Julian then. He was driving to see Julian to say hello. He had been like an uncle. And he came up with 'Hey Jude.' But I always heard it as a song to me. Now I'm sounding like one of those fans reading things into it...Think about it: Yoko had just come into the picture. He is saying 'Hey, Jude' - 'Hey, John.' Subconsciously, he was saying, 'Go ahead, leave me.' On a conscious level, he didn't want me to go ahead. The angel in him was saying 'Bless you.' The Devil in him didn't like it at all, because he didn't want to lose his partner."

John (Source: Playboy, 1980)

SALEWICZ: Well, I always found it interesting the fact that he got – I mean, it seemed too much like coincidence to me, the fact that he got married a week or month after you. You know what I mean? PAUL: Yeah. I think we spurred each other into marriage. I mean, you know. They were very strong together, which left me out of the picture. So I got together with Linda and then we got strong with our own kind of thing. And I used to listen to a lot of what they said. I remember him saying to me, “You’ve got to work at marriage,” which is something I still remember as a bit of advice. I still remember that. Um… And then yeah, I think they were a little bit peeved that we got married first. Probably. In a little way, you know, just minor jealousies. And so they got married. I don’t know if that’s – I mean, who knows… [inaudible] making it up, anyway.

September, 1986 (MPL Communications, London): journalist Chris Salewicz

“If you look at interviews and stuff with John, from around about that time he was in Imagine [documentary] he kind of admits that he’s having problems with himself. So, well, the first thing you do when you’re having problems with yourself is you bitch about someone else. And the closest person was me…He had a real go at me. I personally think it was ‘cause he was trying to clear the decks for Yoko. He’s got a new love, he’s trying to say to her, “Look, baby, I love you. I hate those guys.”

Paul McCartney

"The line [the walrus was Paul] was put in partly because I was feeling guilty because I was with Yoko and I was leaving Paul. It's a very perverse way of saying to Paul: 'here, have this crumb, this illusion, this stroke - because I'm leaving.'" -John

Playboy, 1980

JOHN: And throwing in the line “the Walrus was Paul” just to confuse everybody a bit more. And because I felt slightly guilty because I’d got Yoko, and he’d got nothing, and I was gonna quit. [laughs; bleak] And so I thought ‘Walrus’ has now become [in] meaning, “I am the one.” It didn’t mean that in the song, originally. It just meant I’m the – it could have been I’m the – “I’m The Fox Terrier,” you know. I mean, it’s just a bit of poetry.

August, 1980: John talks to Playboy writer David Sheff about ‘Glass Onion’.

"I started thinking, 'Well, if that's the case [not getting back together], I had better get myself together. I just can't let John control the situation and dump us as if we're the jilted girlfriends.'"

The Beatles, Anthology, 1995

“After we’d done the One To One concert film,” recalled Steve Gebhardt, “I remember John saying to me that the days of everything being Johnandyoko – one word – were over. I was shocked.” Ono completed her record, Approximately Infinite Universe, which was greeted more positively than her previous releases. Lennon did his best to publicise it, writing a personal note to the Capitol Records boss asking him to throw the company’s weight behind it. But in mid-January 1973 Lennon and Ono quarrelled publicly at another party. “I wish I was back with Paul,” Lennon reportedly said.

Peter Doggett, You Never Give Me Your Money: The Battle for the Soul of The Beatles. (2009)

YOKO: I think that it’s like [John] was married to Paul, and now he was married to me… So it was a situation that he didn’t feel like he wanted to go back, really. John had a lot of respect for Paul, and of course, love. But I would think that if the truth may be told, the love was lost on both ways. There were times that Paul did say a lot of strange things about John, so that I know that it wasn’t like Paul loved John but John didn’t love Paul, or John actually loved Paul but Paul didn’t. I mean, it was like a very healthy situation where they outgrew each other’s company. And only until John became what he is now – which is after John’s death that people started to revere John – it became an issue for Paul. Because you have to understand that table was turned many times. One, when John made the Jesus Christ remark, and Paul became virtually a leader. And John turned the table on Paul by becoming a partner with me, probably. But then the thing is, the table was turned again by Paul becoming extremely successful with Wings. So he was doing alright, while John did Some Time in New York City with me, and then followed that with Mind Games or something, you know. 1990: Yoko

“They loved each other more than most couples do, and when they split it was more wrenching than most divorces”

Beatles publicist Tony Barrow on Lennon and McCartney

““I’m sure that in the case of Paul there’s that feeling that I’m the woman who took away his partner – it’s like a divorce.””

Yoko Ono (You Never Give Me Your Money, Peter Doggett)

“On March 12, Paul married Linda Eastman at Marylebone Register Office in London, amid scenes of hysterical grief from his female fans. None of the other Beatles was present. The news reached John as he and Yoko were driving down to visit Aunt Mimi in Poole. Yoko’s divorce decree had become final a few weeks earlier, and, in a resurgence of Beatle copycat, John told her they, too, must get married as soon as possible”

Philip Norman, John Lennon: The life

“Then also we were like married, so you got the bitterness. It’s not a woman scorned this time, it’s two men scorned — probably even worse. And I had to make way for Yoko. My relationship with John could not have remained as it was and Yoko feel secure.”

Paul McCartney, Interview by Duncan Fallowell in the Chicago Tribune, October 14th, 1984

Knowing John so well, I believe that the only reason he picked Yoko was [he wanted] a negative reaction. I mean, it was purely a negative reaction because he couldn’t take any more girls in the world, actually. I mean, he knew that he could have any girl. And the girls, that were nice-looking—he couldn’t stand them. I mean, from morning to night, there were girls not boys—actually, running after them. We used to go to his house and think that we are in peace. Suddenly a girl with a broken leg is jumping over John’s fence to, to get an autograph. It was a pain in the neck. John wanted to be with a woman. But he needed as well very, very much a friend. He needed a male friend. And my opinion is that Yoko, he managed somehow to combine both. He had a fear for pretty women running after him. Yoko was not very pretty, uh, at all, and he replaced a male in his life plus a female.

Magic Alex, All You Need Is Love – Peter Brown & Steven Gaines

Jealousy regarding Paul Mccartney: I wouldn't consider any of this especially convincing on it's own, however John's consistent dislike for and rudeness towards Paul's partners is notable

I was a very possessive and jealous guy, and the lyrics explain that pretty clearly. Not just jealous towards Yoko, but towards everything, male and female – incredibly possessive.

1970 (audio snippet approx 2:06)

In an entry noting McCartney’s marriage to Linda Eastman, Lennon crossed out “wedding” and wrote “funeral”, the Observer said.

Associated Press: Lennon’s resentment of McCartney reflected in book notes. (July 20th, 1986)

Q: I saw that thing in The Observer the other week, about the manuscript of the Apple Beatles biography and the vitriolic comments John made in the margins. I think that shows the sort of pain he was going through. Look, he was a great guy, great sense of humour and I’d do it all again. I’d go through it all again, and have him slagging me off again just because he was so great; those are all the down moments, there was much more pleasure than has really come out. I had a wonderful time, with one of the world’s most talented people. We had all that craziness, but if someone took one of your wedding photos and put ‘funeral’ on it, as he did on that manuscript, you’d tend to feel a bit sorry for the guy. I’ll tell you what, if I’d ever done that to him, he would’ve just hit the roof. But I just sat through it all like mild-mannered Clark Kent Q: When did you actually get a perspective on it? I still haven’t. It’s still inside me. John was lucky. He got all his hurt out. I’m a different sort of a personality. There’s still a lot inside me that’s trying to work it out. And that’s why it’s good to see that wedding-funeral bit, because I started to think, ‘Wait a minute, this is someone who’s going over the top. This is paranoia manifesting itself.’ And so my feeling is just like it was at the time, which is like, He’s my buddy, I don’t really want to do anything to hurt him, or his memory, or anything. I don’t want to hurt Yoko. But, at the same time, it doesn’t mean that I understand what went down.

Paul McCartney: An Innocent Man? (October, 1986)

Q: "But for a while you didn't get along with Linda." JOHN: "We all got along well with Linda." Q: "When did you first meet her?" JOHN: "The first time was after that Apple press conference in America. We were going back to the airport and she was in the car with us. I didn't think she was particularly attractive. A bit too tweedy, you know. But she sat in the car and took photographs and that was it. And the next minute she's married him."

John Lennon Interview: St. Regis Hotel, New York City 9/5/1971

One night John came in and some chick was in bed with Paul and he cut all her clothes up with a pair of scissors, and was stabbing the wardrobe. Everybody was lying in bed thinking, ‘Oh fuck, I hope he doesn’t kill me.’ [He was] a frothing mad person—he knew how to have ‘fun.’

George Harrison, c/o Derek Taylor, Fifty Years Adrift. (1984)

"One time Paul had a chick in bed and John came in and got a pair of scissors and cut all her clothes into pieces and then wrecked the wardrobe. He got like that occasionally, it was because of the pills and being up too long."

George Harrison (Source: The Beatles, Anthology, 1995)

"I remember I had a girlfriend called Celia. I must have been 16 or 17, about the same age as her...we went out one evening and for some reason John tagged along, I can't remember why it was. I think he'd thought I was going to see him, I thought I'd cancelled it and he showed up at my house. But he was a mate, and he came on a date with this Celia girl, and at the end of the date she said, 'Why did you bring that dreadful guy?' And of course I said, 'Well, he's all right really.' And I think, in many ways, I always found myself doing that. It was always, 'Well, I know he was rude; it was funny, though, wasn't it?'"

Paul, Barry Miles, Many Years From Now, 1997

I came for dinner, and I was the only girl there. John definitely didn't like that. He didn't like me being there at ALL. He was mean and sarcastic. As far as he was concerned, I had no business being invited to dinner with the four of them. For him this was an exclusive boys' club. He was purposely making me feel uneasy. At one point, the boys were handing around a scrapbook -- looking at pictures of that first tour. John made some snide comment like, "What is SHE doing here?" I got the idea that he thought Paul was an idiot to take a girl so seriously he'd actually invite her to dinner, when all he really needed to do was fuck her AFTER dinner.

Peggy Lipton, Breathing Out, 2005

Whether it was her cool confidence or her posh accent, something about Jane goaded John to direct his caustic eyes in her direction. “Well. Let’s all play a question-and-answer-game!” He announced a bit too cheerily. Then he turned to Jane. “So tell us, luv, how do girls play with themselves?” Silence. Jane’s eyes widened. Paul, sitting close to her on the floor, put his hand in the air, as if he could wave John’s words back into his mouth. “John! John!” he yelped. “Stop it. You can’t do that.” John just smiled, peering intently through his glasses. “No, you can tell us. Come on. We all want to know, come on.” Paul, looking aghast, shook his head vehemently. “John. For christsakes, John.”

Peter Ames Carlin, Paul McCartney: A Life

JOHN: So it was always the family thing, you see. If Jane [Asher] was to have a career, then that’s not going to be a cozy family, is it? All the other girls were just groupies mainly. And with Linda not only did he have a ready-made family, but she knows what he wants, obviously, and has given it to him. The complete family life. He’s in Scotland. He told me he doesn’t like English cities anymore. So that’s how it is. MCCABE: So you think with Linda he’s found what he wanted? JOHN: I guess so. I guess so. I just don’t understand… I never knew what he wanted in a woman because I never knew what I wanted. I knew I wanted something intelligent or something arty, whatever it was. But you don’t really know what you want until you find it. So anyway, I was very surprised with Linda. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d married Jane Asher, because it had been going on for a long time and they went through a whole ordinary love scene. But with Linda it was just like, boom! She was in and that was the end of it.

John Lennon, interview w/ Peter McCabe and Robert Schonfeld. (September, 1971)

Random cute things: flirting etc

I remember we were going down to the studio [...] and there was a great crowd pressing against the car. John was sitting in the back and he said, “Push Paul out first. He’s the prettiest.”

Victor Spinetti, in the documentary You Can’t Do That! The Making of ‘A Hard Day’s Night’ (1995).

We were away. The boys had relaxed. As we walked off to do the next scene, I heard them joshing each other, like schoolboys on the way to class. 'Are those jeans tight, Paul?' That was John. 'What do you mean tight?' 'I can see your suspender belt through 'em and your stockings. You've got ladders in them.'

Up Front: His Strictly Confidential Autobiography by Victor Spinetti

“I could even hear what they were saying off-mike; ‘Oh Paul, you’re so cute tonight.’ was met with the reply ‘Sod off, Lennon.’”

Joan Baez on accompanying the Beatles to their concert in Red Rocks Amphitheatre, Denver. 26 August 1964

To Lennon, [Paul] was "cute, and didn’t he know it," a born performer who was also a "thruster" and an "operator" behind the scenes.

Christopher Sandford, Paul McCartney, 2005

In a late wee-hour-of-the-morning talk, he once told me, ‘I’m just like everybody else Harry, I fell for Paul’s looks.”

Harry Nilsson speaking about John Lennon

HARRY: Someone told me a few minutes ago they saw John walking on the street [once] wearing a sign saying – a button, rather, saying ‘I Love Paul’. And this girl who told me that said she asked him, “Why are you wearing the button that says ‘I Love Paul’?” He said, “Because I love Paul.” [laughs]

February 17th, 1984: Harry Nilsson

PAUL: It’s like, uh, “We have to get back.” “We’re on our way home.” JOHN: Yeah. PAUL: There’s a story. There’s another one – ‘Don’t Let Me Down’. “Oh darling, I’ll never let you down.” Like we’re doing— JOHN: Yeah. It’s like you and me are lovers. PAUL: [reserved] Yeah. [pause] JOHN: We’ll just have to camp it up for those two. PAUL: Yeah. Well, I’ll be wearing my skirt for the show, anyway.

Get Back sessions

PAUL: Okay, “two of us riding nowhere” that’s as if…we’re like…two, but then “we’re on our way home”  JOHN: It’s like we’re like a couple of queens. PAUL: Yeah. Well, you know. Well, I mean, that’s…  JOHN: We’re a couple of queens… PAUL: That’s just too bad. Unless you want to get Paul and Paula in. Poetic license, John. JOHN: You’re telling me, Paul.

Get Back sessions

[ashwhowrites]

Yay! Your requests are open again!

Eddie + Reader are divorced, but parted on good terms. One day they are at a b-day of one of their mutual friends and get a little tipsy. They start talking and eventually hook up that night.

Reader finds out she is pregnant and decides to keep the baby with Eddie's full support. Throughout the pregnancy, they fall back in love.

<3 Thank you.

This is so cute. A happy ending!!

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting <3

Oh, Baby

Falling in love young is always an unexpected journey. Y/N and Eddie felt unstoppable as they fell in love. Young teens that dove into something bigger than they thought they could handle. Fire and full of passion, speeding through too fast for either of them to see when it started to fall apart. They got married right after high school, hitched off to Vegas and she took his last name. Everyone thought they were crazy and dumb. But isn't the saying only fools go rushing in?

The start of their marriage was a fairytale. It was everything they dreamed of and knew they would prove everyone wrong. Because they knew they were meant to be and there was no one else they would ever be with. They fit perfectly together.

As hard as it was, they discovered people change as they grow up. And sometimes can't change together. Eddie and her wanted too many different things, which led them to realize they were meant to be together young, and not to grow old with.

They ended on good terms, both wishing the best for each other. They didn't keep much in contact, knowing it was easier to move on if they went their separate ways. They didn't have anything tying them together so they let go.

~~~

Steve decided to throw himself a huge birthday party for turning thirty. And since he was a friend of Eddie's and Y/N's they both knew there was a chance they'd run into each other.

Y/N may have gotten a new dress and tried extra hard with her makeup. She may have sprayed on Eddie's favorite perfume she used to wear during their marriage. She might have been eyeing the door, dying to see him again.

Eddie may have rolled up his sleeves in the way Y/N always liked. He may have dosed his neck in the cologne that made her legs weak. He might have tied up his hair in a lower bun, knowing his loose curls drove her insane. He might have smoked a cigarette on the way as he calmed his nerves.

Once he walked in, the magnetic connection between them yanked them together instantly. His eyes latched on her as she walked over to him. His nose inhaled her sweet perfume as she wrapped her arms around him. He bit his lip when he pulled away, no shame in checking her out.

She could smell the cologne on his skin, craving to taste him again. She blushed under his stare, the dress doing what she wanted. She couldn't help but check him out as well. She bit her lip as she noticed his thick arms underneath his tight button-up, his sleeves rolled so his tattoos showed. The fancy watch on his wrist and rings on his fingers. Yet, the only finger that remained empty was his ring finger.

"You look incredible." He complimented, his voice deep and raspy. It reminded her of his morning voice, how he'd roll over and whisper right against her ear.

"Thanks, Eds. You do too." Eddie felt like he got lost in her smile all over again.

"Eddie! You made it!" Steve cheered, dragging Eddie out of the room. His brown eyes looked back at her until she was out of his sight.

~~~

The last few people were starting to head out. Y/N had her feet in the pool as she sipped her drink. Steve was picking things up in the backyard, keeping a close eye on her.

"Sure you don't want me to bring you home?" He asked, but she shook off his offer.

"No, I think I'm good to drive." Steve accepted her answer and walked inside. He gave a small smile to Eddie as he passed him. Eddie had his hands in his pockets as he walked up to her. She smiled as he sat next to her, his back to the pool as he stretched out his legs. His shoulder rested against hers as he looked at her.

Neither knew how long they were out there, talking for hours. But they got the cue to leave once Steve was ready for bed.

Just like old times, she held his hand as they walked to his car. His hand was on her thigh as she hummed to the radio. Her stomach was filled with butterflies, but the smile on her face never left. The same feelings she felt on their first date were happening again.

"You still haven't fixed that front step!" Eddie laughed, following behind Y/N as she unlocked the front door. The same house they lived in together before Eddie moved out. Eddie remembered breaking that step when they moved in, carrying way too many boxes.

"It's our first memory in this house, I never want to fix it." She shrugged, taking off her shoes as he walked in behind her. He looked around, not much had changed. The pictures of them were taken off the walls, and replaced with their friends. All the things he took with him kept the place empty, he realized she never replaced his things with anything new.

"I kinda figured you'd make this place into your own," Eddie admitted, walking further into the small house. He didn't hear her behind him, and she didn't say a word.

She walked into the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of wine, and poured two glasses. She let Eddie look around the house as she grabbed the glasses and headed to the couch.

After a second, Eddie joined her. Both filled up the silence with random conversations as they sipped glass after glass.

As time went on, she found herself and Eddie moving closer to closer. Then she felt his lips on hers, his hands eagerly touching her. She felt like he took all her breath away, his hands touching her the same way they used to. His kiss felt the same.

~~~

It's been a week since she and Eddie had sex. She felt relieved that he was still there when she woke up. It was awkward at first, neither knowing what to say or what the next step was.

But they were divorced, and they had to remind themselves of that.

She didn't plan on seeing Eddie much after that, just a little backslide but she's back on the path of moving forward.

That was until she found out she was pregnant. She knew it was Eddie's since she hadn't been with anyone lately. She was worried Eddie might not want to be brought back together again. But the excitement that was on his face washed all her worries away. He cheered and spun her around.

He always wanted a family and he always wanted it with her.

He didn't let her do a single thing alone. He went to every appointment, holding her hand as they stared at the screen. They went to every baby store, and he insisted on buying everything she wanted. Together they worked on the nursery at her house, Eddie painted the room and cleaned up the floors. She couldn't help but feel so much love for him as he worked to put the nursery together. His touch all around the room.

Some nights he stayed on the couch, the more she grew the more nervous he got leaving her alone. If there was ever an issue, no matter the time, he'd show up at her door.

She couldn't help but wish the divorce never happened, that Eddie was still hers. But in a way, she felt like they needed the divorce to grow on their own. And be better for each other.

"I still can't believe I did that!" Eddie groaned, Y/N laughed at his embarrassment, rubbing her stomach as she retold the story of when Eddie got drunk and met her parents for the first time.

They found themselves traveling down their memories every time they hung out. Digging up old feelings and showing them on their arms.

"Why are you laughing? You met Wayne right after you sucked me off!" Eddie said, laughing as she covered her face in horror.

"We were so crazy back then." Y/N sighed after their laughter died. Her hand was on her bump as she looked at him. "We were so in love and inseparable. What happened to us?"

Eddie looked over at her, his hand reaching to rub her stomach. His eyes were soft as he looked into her eyes.

"We grew up. I was nowhere near a good husband for you. I wanted to be, but we were too young to try to save a love like that. But there was never a day I didn't think about you." He admitted, dropping to his knees as he rested his chin on her bump.

She leaned down and rubbed his cheek, melting at his brown eyes.

"I always thought about you too. I know we were young and neither of us knew how to fight for each other, just against each other. But do you ever think about us if we did make it through? If we kept trying instead of giving up?"

"Sometimes," Eddie admitted, leaning into her touch. "But look where we are now. I think we needed to grow up on our own. Without the fear of disappointing each other. It helped us truly focus on just ourselves. And now? We are having a baby. Exactly where I always wanted to be with you." He kissed her stomach softly, resting his head against her as she played with his hair.

Before she could say something, she felt something. A harsh cramp in her stomach. She gasped and gripped Eddie's shoulders. His worried eyes looked at her as he felt something in her stomach.

"Was that?"

"Did he?"

Then another cramp, Y/N smiled when she realized their baby was kicking.

"Eddie! He's kicking!" She announced, Eddie quickly placed his hands on her stomach.

"Kick for daddy." He said, a smile on his face as he felt a hit against his palm.

Y/N felt tears in her eyes as she watched Eddie excitedly talk to the baby and wait for kicks. The excitement in his bright eyes and the love.

"I love you." She whispered, sniffling.

He looked up, hand on her stomach and the other hand on her cheek. He rubbed her tears away.

"I love you too."

Tags!

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[yunholic-jongholic]

Love In a Divorce [Part 1] | C.JH x Reader

SUMMARY | In a strained 10-year marriage, you and your husband decide to get a divorce due to growing tensions. While meeting with your divorce attorney, you unexpectedly develop feelings for him. As the divorce process unfolds, you find yourself in an intimate relationship with the attorney, complicating the situation as you navigate your separation from your ex-husband.

PAIRINGS | Jongho x Fem!Reader

RATING | Mature, 18+

CONTENT WARNINGS | Smoking, Drinking, Arguing, Strained Marriage (Nothing really else...)

WORD COUNT | 2.3k

AUTHOR NOTE | This will be 2-4 parts of a story. This is the first chapter! I am not sure how far to keep this going but they are short chapters. This chapter is more introducing the plot/characters/setting/etc. There are no spicy scenes in this chapter but there are still things to be cautious of. Minors, please keep out. Also, my friends in my group chat helped me with this one so shout out to my fellow co-workers on this! - You don't really meet Jongho until the END of the chapter... but I promise next chapter there will be more Jongho moments. ,'3c

•

It was late afternoon, and as you prepared to leave work, a sense of reluctance about going home lingered. With a sigh, you stood up and gathered your belongings.

"I'm heading home—I need to cook dinner tonight since my husband and I haven't had a proper meal together in a while," you explained to your manager before stepping out of the office. You reached your car and drove home, feeling a weight settle in your chest. As you pulled into the driveway, you noticed your husband was already home. The last thing you wanted was to go inside and face him, but lingering outside or sitting in the car forever wasn’t an option.

"Hey, honey. How are you?" you asked, forcing a smile as you walked past him. He barely acknowledged you, too absorbed in the political talk show blaring from the TV.

You call out his name again, trying to get his attention. This time, he spared you a brief glance before shrugging and muttering, "Meh," before turning back to the screen. You rolled your eyes at his indifference, deciding not to push it. Instead, you headed to the kitchen and started preparing dinner, settling on a simple chicken and veggie dish. As you were cooking your husband ended up saying he was going out.

"Are you serious? I'm already cooking us dinner," you snapped, frustration lacing your voice as you shot him an angry glare. "Sorry, I promised my friends I'd be there for them tonight," he replied curtly, grabbing his coat without meeting your eyes.

You watched him walk out the front door, the sound of it closing echoing in the empty room. A heavy sigh escaped your lips as you felt your heart sink, a hollow ache settling in your chest. Deep down, you’d always known this relationship wasn’t working, and the desire to leave grew stronger with each passing day. But the harsh reality lingered—you had nowhere else to go.

You sat down to eat alone, the silence around you louder than any words could be. After cleaning up, you went straight to bed, the emptiness of the room matching the hollow ache in your chest. Lying there, staring at the ceiling, you felt the weight of heartbreak pressing down on you—not just from the relationship itself, but from how much you had let it break you.

Just as you were on the verge of sleep, your phone buzzed on the nightstand, its sudden vibration cutting through the quiet. You glanced at the screen. Who could be calling at nearly midnight? Only two people came to mind—your husband or your friend, Yeosang.

"Hey! I was calling to ask if you're still interested in going to celebrate Yunho's birthday tomorrow. I saw your name on the RSVP, but I wanted to check if you’ve got a present for him, or should I pick one up?" Yeosang’s cheerful voice filled the quiet room, a stark contrast to the heaviness in your heart.

You sighed deeply, sitting up in bed as you wiped away the tears that had welled up, a lingering reminder of the thoughts swirling in your mind about your broken relationship with your husband. The sound of Yeosang’s voice felt like a small anchor, pulling you back from the tide of your emotions, even if just for a moment.

"Yeah, I got him a present. I might go… If not, I can still drop it off and wish Yunho a happy birthday," you muttered under your breath, your voice shaky as you fought back the tears threatening to spill.

Silence settled on the line, heavy and lingering, until Yeosang finally spoke, his voice soft and careful. "Is it your husband again...?" You barely managed to whisper, "Yes," your heart tightening with the admission.

Yeosang sighed, the sound of him sinking onto his couch faintly echoing through the phone. The quiet between you wasn’t uncomfortable—it was filled with unspoken understanding, like he knew exactly how to hold space for you without needing to fill it with words.

"If you want, I know someone who might be able to help you," Yeosang said gently, the faint sound of a pen scratching against paper in the background. "His name is Choi Jongho. He’s one of my closest friends—we went to college together. He’s a divorce attorney. If you’re ever interested in… you know." His voice trailed off, ending with an awkward cough, as if unsure how to say the words without making it harder for you.

You went silent, staring at the dim glow of your phone screen, the weight of his offer sinking in. Divorce. The idea lingering in the back of your mind like an unwelcome shadow. But now, hearing it spoken out loud, having an actual option, made it feel more real—both terrifying and oddly relieving. You didn’t know how to navigate it, how to start, but maybe… maybe this was the first step.

"A divorce attorney doesn’t sound bad… Can I get his work number?" you asked quietly, the words feeling heavy yet strangely liberating as they left your lips. Yeosang didn’t hesitate. "Yeah, of course. It’s xxx-xxx-xxxxx," he said gently, his tone filled with quiet support.

You reached for a pen and a scrap of paper, scribbling down a simple note: "Yeosang’s friend xxx-xxx-xxxx." Staring at the words for a brief moment, you felt a flicker of something—hope, maybe, or the faintest sense of control.

"Thank you, Yeosang," you whispered, your voice softer now, touched with both gratitude and vulnerability. "Anytime," he replied, his voice warm, steady. "You’re not alone in this." He hangs up and you smile feeling loved by your friend's help. You put the note aside underneath your phone, going underneath the covers to fall asleep.

The next morning, you woke up beside your husband, his soft snores filling the quiet room. Letting out a sigh, you quietly got out of bed, gathered your clothes for the day, and headed to the bathroom for a shower. After rinsing off the lingering weight of your thoughts, you got dressed, mentally preparing yourself for the day ahead.

Needing space to think, you decided to stop by a coffee shop. The warm, bustling atmosphere felt like the perfect place to make a private call to Yeosang’s friend, the attorney. You grab coffee and sit down inside where there are really no people, just 1 college student doing schoolwork and the baristas making orders and cleaning the shop. You finally sit down and call the number Yeosang gave you with a right away pick up.

"Hello, this is Choi Jongho's office," a young woman’s voice greeted you through the phone. You hesitated for a moment, your heart racing, but then took a deep breath and finally spoke. "Yes, hello. I’d like to initiate a divorce," you sighed, the words feeling heavy yet strangely relieving as they left your mouth. There was a brief pause on the other end, followed by the sound of rapid typing. "Of course, I can help you schedule an appointment with Mr. Choi," she replied professionally.

She asked for your name, contact information, and a few basic details, typing quickly as you provided the answers. When she inquired about your availability, you explained the urgency of your situation, and she managed to book you for two consecutive days. After confirming the details, you hung up, staring at your phone for a moment, realizing you’d just taken the first real step toward reclaiming your life.

After leaving the coffee shop, you got into your car and dialed Yeosang’s number, your fingers trembling slightly as you pressed call. When he picked up, you wasted no time.

"I scheduled the appointment with your friend, Choi Jongho," you said, your voice a mix of nerves and quiet determination. Yeosang responded with soft words of encouragement, his voice a comforting presence on the other end. As you continued driving home, you added, "I'll still come to Yunho’s party. I’ll probably be late since I need to do some laundry when I get home, but I should be there this evening!"

Yeosang recommended that you should start seeing people again, and that he would help you out. You were just of silent thinking about it but only felt you should just have time to yourself.

Pulling into the driveway, you ended the call and took a deep breath before heading inside. The familiar scent hit you the moment you opened the door—a sharp, stale reminder that your husband had been smoking in the house again, despite the countless times you’d asked him not to. You glanced toward the living room, where he sat, eyes glued to the TV, completely indifferent to your arrival. The weight of your decision felt even more justified in that moment.

"Hey, I've told you not to smoke in the house, it is unhealthy, and it smells really bad." You sigh angrily going to the room to get the dirty laundry to wash it. You see your husband ignore you and lights another cigarette. "Hey!" You shout this time throwing a dirty sock at him. Your husband gets up and immediately yells at you.

"I don't care; I own this house. You just live under my care because you’re married to me," he barked angrily, throwing a sock back in your direction with careless disdain. You felt a surge of frustration rise in your chest, the weight of his words hitting hard—but this time, you didn’t hold back.

"Oh, so that’s all I am to you? Just married to you, with no say, no value beyond that? I don’t even have a right to this property?" you snapped back, your voice sharp with defiance. The room grew tense, the argument hanging in the air like a storm ready to break. But something inside you felt different—stronger, like you were no longer afraid of the fight because you knew it wouldn’t define you anymore. Your husband was about to blow up but that's when you decided to leave the house. You left and drove straight to Yeosang's house to help him get ready for the party, also just to get away from your husband.

"Hey! Sorry, I decided to come early," you said with a smile as Yeosang opened the door and pulled you into a warm hug. "I hope you’re okay—you look a little stressed," he sighed, concern evident in his voice. You gave a small nod, forcing a reassuring smile.

"Yeah, I am, but it’s okay. Starting tomorrow, hopefully, things will start to change," you whispered softly, a hint of hope flickering in your words. Yeosang nodded in agreement, offering you a comforting look before turning to set out the food. You help him set up the party and once people start showing up, you find yourself calming down and finally relaxing with your friends.

Finally, Yunho arrives, and you all celebrate his birthday. You end up meeting Jongho who was at the party since he is technically Yunho and Yeosang's friend.

"Hey Yunho, happy birthday." Jongho smiles and hands Yunho his gift. Yunho smiles back and hugs Jongho which he automatically gets pulled into the hug and just awkwardly stands there. "Okay that's enough affection." Jongho laughs nervously, while Yunho is laughing cheerfully. "Oh! You must meet our best lawyer friend! Jongho!" Yunho chirps at you and pushes Jongho towards you.

"Oh hello." He waves and you wave back greeting yourself. "I am Y/N. I went to college with both of these losers." You tease Yunho and Yeosang. Yunho huffs rolling his eyes. "It's my birthday, you shouldn't be talking about me like that!" He pouts and you smile laughing softly at his response.

"Nice to meet you Y/N." Jongho smiles at you. Yeosang and Yunho leave you both to talk and you basically ask Jongho a few questions being casual.

"So, what made you decide to become a lawyer?" you asked, genuinely curious. There was something about Jongho’s relaxed demeanor that caught your attention—maybe it was the casual way he dressed, which felt different from the typical, buttoned-up image you had of attorneys.

"Well," Jongho began, reaching for a glass from the table and taking a small sip before continuing, "I’ve always been good at giving relationship advice and standing up for my friends. I’ve also had a strong interest in the laws surrounding relationships—offering guidance, helping couples navigate complex issues, and representing them in court. Most of the time, I work with women, helping them get out of toxic relationships with their ex-husbands."

You smiled, genuinely admiring his words and the passion behind them. "That’s really kind of you to do," you said softly, feeling a new level of respect for him and the work he dedicated himself to. You cough out as you finally tell him what has been going on, "I know you aren't working right now and don't expect anything. But I am scheduled to have a meeting with you tomorrow morning, I am too having issues with my husband and been wanting a way out..." You mumble the ending part.

"Oh, that's okay. Well, it was nice meeting you early. I am sorry about your relationship with your husband." He sits up taking another sip of his drink. "It's nothing really." You smile and soon change the conversation asking how he met Yunho and Yeosang. As the day went on it was already nighttime. You decided to head home thanking Yeosang for inviting you over and saying your last happy birthday wishes to Yunho.

You arrive home seeing your husband's car gone again, you sigh and go inside just wanting to go to bed. You finally go to bed and just hope tomorrow will finally change for the better.

•

Sorry, there is really nothing here yet. LMAO I wanted this to be more introducing Y/N, Y/N's Husband, Yunho, Yeosang and Jongho! I promise the next chapter will have more Jongho scenes and maybe some spicy content... MAYBE...

[taylormarieee]

Drunkenly Yours Drew Starkey

Summary: You and Drew go out and you get drunk and he confesses...

Pairing: Drew Starkey x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: None, Just pure fluff, Mentions of Alcohol, Slightly Sober Drew, Drunk reader, Confessions, Kissing, Sweet ending.

A/N: This is a second fic dedicated to @ribbonprincess for her birthday! shhhh i'm a lil behind but love you beautiful<333

BIRTHDAY FIC 2/2

You and your cast members went out for drinks tonight. You are celebrating because you just finished filming season 3. You played as Rafe's love interest and supposed savior.

You got really close with Drew more than anything given the amount of scenes you guys had together. Granted you grew close with everyone on the cast, Drew was your favorite but of course you would never admit that.

You guys went to a little mini bar by your apartment complex that you all lived in, (Seperate floors and rooms of course) and you guys got all dressed up.

You were met by some paparazzi and some fans on the way out of your hotel but you guys didn't mind as you guys weren't in any rush. You all took pictures and posed and even signed things if asked.

Once that was over you all got into the car and drove away. You guys listened to music and jammed the whole way there.

Once you guys arrived at your destination, you are so excited yet nervous at the same time.

You loved going out but it was always hard especially when the love of your life was always going to be there and always suggesting to go out.

"Drew! Put me down!" you scream out while laughing as your conversation with Madelyn about something was interrupted.

"Nope, no can do peaches, gotta make sure you don't get your princess shoes dirty." Drew whispered in your ear.

You nervously giggled holding on to him tighter. He holds you in his(Big, handsome, strong and sexy) arms for a little longer while Chase confirms the reservation for tonight.

Once you guys were in, Drew finally put's you down. "M'lady." he says as he bows in front of you to let you walk first. "Hm. Thank you kind sir." You say in the best british accent you can muster up.

He chuckles and you giggle as you walk closer to Chase and put your arms around Chase.

"Hey bunny." He says to you wrapping his hands around your waist and furrowing up your hair.

"Heyyy! I told you not to call me that anymore Chase!" you say puffing your bottom lip out and stomping your foot down.

"Ok fine, then should I call you thumper? You do know how much you act like a bunny right?" He says laughing.

You punch his arm and sit down in the booth that the waitress guided you guys too.

Your in front of Chase but next to you is Drew. You look up at him and admire him as he sits down and takes his order.

The waitress is going down the line of your cast mates before she finally get's to you.

You give her your order which is the same as Madelyn's. She was your best friend, you could talk to her about anything. She was like a sister to you.

She was the only one out of the entire cast that knew you liked Drew. You didn't exactly tell her she kind of figured it out on her own.

She was a bit of an observer and she would watch how much chemistry (as she likes to call it) you and Drew had on certain scenes, or just being together in general.

You loved Drew, you could say it a million times and it would never sound like a lie.

Drew was the best person in your life right now. Yes, you had Maddy but there was something about Drew that just made everyday a better day when you were with him. Everyday was never dull when you were with Drew. It was filled with happiness and fun.

"Alright guys. I don't know about yall but i'm trying to get hella wasted." You say and everyone starts laughing and aggreeing.

"Wait but someone needs to stay sober to get us all home." Madison says.

"1 2 3! NOT IT!" Everyone except Drew says. "You guys are doing this like i'm not the one that drove you all here in the first place." He says chuckling at everyones childish behaviour.

"Drinks on me?!" You yell going up to the bar while you guys are waiting on the food.

"Bet!" Jonathan and Rudy say at the same time before bursting out laughing. You laugh and scoot out of the booth after Drew gets up.

"Hey I'll come with you, can't hold all those drinks yourself girl." Madelyn says.

You smile at her as you both walk away to the bar to get 12 shots of tequila.

'So, when are you gonna tell him?" Madelyn asks. Your head immediately spins towards her and your eyes are wide.

"Uhmm ha, real funny Mads, i'm not doing that." You say turning back to all the dancing people.

"But this could be your only chance to tell him!" Madelyn says. You look back at her.

"Oh really, and how do you suppose I actually grow the balls to do it. Plus, this is supposed to be a fun, calm night with all of us together. Celebrating season 3 of Outer Banks. I don't wanna embarrass myself on this wonderful night in front of everyone." You say to her before the waiter comes around with your drinks.

"Hey, can we also get some beers please and thank you!" Madelyn says to prolong this conversation. The waiter nods and smiles at you both.

"But, what if I made a plan? Created like a diversion maybe? Like idk invite evryone to dance but then you keep Drew waiting and then you guys talk for a bit." She suggests with a smile on her face.

"Yea that could work, but you know how much drew loves to dance." You say already taking a shot or two.

It's as if a lightbulb appeared over Maddy's head the way her face lit up. "What if, you get so wasted that you confess to him. I'll still let everyone go dance once we get enough shots in us and then you can confess to him." She says taking two shots with you as well.

You face screws up but before you can say anything Madelyn speaks, "Yea that decision is final." She says with a smile on her face before bringing the shots towards the table.

You smirk and shake your head before grabbing the beers that the waiter passed towards you.

When you make it back to the table people are already taking shots and interacting. Everyone seems a lot more loose now and more livid.

"WHO WANTS BEER!" You yell over the music so they can hear you. They cheer and so does the crowd, but there cheering for a different reason.

You pass out some beers to everyone and then chug down some shots.

Your a lot more loose now that your tipsy and you feel like doing something spontaneous.

You walk over to the bar and stand on the table with the permission of the waiter and he helps you up since your in high heel black boots.

"I have an announcement to make my fellow partyers! ALL DRINKS ARE ON MEE!!!" You yell out and everyone starts cheering and you pop open a bottle of champagne filling everyone's cups.

You ask the waiter for a couple beers and tell him that everything is gonna be on your tab. He smiles at you and nods.

You hand beers to people in the crowd and your taking more shots. Your turnt now. Dancing on the table still and then hoping down to dance in the crowd.

Your dancing when you feel a hard chest behind you and hands on your hips. You don't even look to see who it is and you start grinfing and dancing on them with a shot glass in your hand.

You dance on this perosn for about five minutes before you turn around and put your arms around there neck. You open your eyes and realize it's Drew.

Your eyes widen and you lightly push off him muterring a sorry.

"Your hype aren't you?" He asks with a smirk on his face. Your face is hot now and you can't control the smile that appears o your face.

"Even though your drunk you still look so adorable." He says putting his hands back on your hips and bringignyou closer to him.

Drew has been teasing you like this all night. You just wanted to tell him how you feel. You wanted to say it so badly that your throat was burning and not just from the alcohol.

"Hey Drew!?" You say his name so lovely that he melts. "Yes princess?" He replies.

"I'm in love with you. I've loved you for a while now and I just never had the courage to say it. I know i'm like really fucking drunk right now but I'm so in love with you it makes my heart hurt! Everytime I see you I get butterflies in my stomach. I love you Drew Starkey, I always have." You say dancing slowly with him.

He stares at you with a goofy lopsided smile on his face.

"Hey, I'm still sober but i'm a bit tipsy and I heard everything you said and my input on that is I love you too. Not platonically but romantically. I've thought about you all the time. It was like love at first sight. I fell in love with you from day 1 and I wanna be the one that is in your life forever. Will you make me the happiest man on earth and be my girlfriend?" He confesses.

You smile so much that your cheeks hurt. You feel like crying! You shake your head yes and grab his face and kiss him. You kiss him so hard he's stumbling back a bit but he catches himself.

He slips his tongue between your lips and you both kiss passionately on the dance floor.

You hear cheering behind you and you see Chase and Madelyn and the rest of the cast cheering for you and Drew.

Some others who are most likely fans are recording the moment as well.

Today was a good night. You finally got your prince and you were going to make sure you guys had your happily ever after...

Taglist: (?)

[italktoomuchxd]

You are supposed to be nothing to him….

You are supposed to be nothing to him. Nothing but a 2-dollar whore...

 

It was the end of the month when he was mostly tight with the money. He grabbed his jacket to go out to get a few drinks, nothing more.

 

Then he saw you wearing Nothing but a cheap skimpy dress and makeup, the smell of sugary smell coming from you... He looked at you, the disgusting sight of you; you were waving at the cars. He drove his motorcycle next to you and asked for your price, which was lower than average. He took you to a cheap hotel, got his job done, and left. He took your phone number just in case he needed a cheap relax again.

 

That cheap relaxation happens more and more at another cheap hotel or your home... not his home; he doesn’t let a cheap woman like you get into his home...

 

As time went by, he learned your interests, your age, your name, your eye color... your favorite food, how you like the smoke after sex, and which brand you smoke, he learned you never celebrated your birthday before... He took you out to celebrate that night.

 

Now he’s there, sitting at his office, writing his day off paper. He needs a vacation. soon…  He’s looking at honeymoon suits in hotels. Even though you two are not even dating yet... He’s buying the plane tickets... a box of Viagra... Oh, he can’t skip buying you some nicer clothes, eh? You can’t wear your clothes with him; that would be humiliating!

 

Now he’s there, sitting next to you on the plane, smiling at you because of how nervous you look...

 

He’s teaching you how to swim in the ocean...

 

He’s chuckling while tending your sunburns.

 

Oh, he fell for you. Oh no, he fell for you hard.

[getinthecar-elizabeth]

Title: Period Pain Sneak Attack

Summary: Kylian rescuing you from your surprise period.

Pairing: Kylian Mbappé x Wife!reader

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

You've always had painful periods, but you had found a way to manage them. You made sure to track your period and had a stash of painkillers with you when you knew it was coming.

But this time you didn't see it coming. Mainly because it came early. You realized that eating too much beetroot was not such a good idea. You were at your mother-in-law's house for dinner over a week ago and Fayza had made the best beetroot you'd ever tasted. When you left you asked for some and she packaged it for you in a container. You ate the beetroot day and night for an entire week and now you were suffering the consequences.

Worst of all you were not home. You were at a restaurant celebrating your husband's younger brother, Ethan's birthday.

You felt that familiar wetness between your legs and thought it was just your ovulation. But after a couple of hours, a certain discomfort in your lower abdomen sent you to the bathroom. To your surprise, you were met with blood.

You didn't want to leave early and seem rude so you didn't say anything. Luckily, you had a pad in your purse and you managed to get a painkiller from someone at the party, but unfortunately, you were too far gone.

You patiently waited for the medicine to take effect but the pain only got worse. The next time you went to the bathroom the nausea had taken over and you threw up. The pain had gotten to the point where you could feel it in your knees, making your legs weak.

Your husband noticed that you were gone for too long so he went to look for you. He found you outside the lady's bathroom. You were leaning against the wall and bent over with your hand on your stomach.

"Mon amour (my love), what's wrong?" He rushed to your side and put his hand on your back.

"Period pain," you muttered in pain.

"Oh no, you don't have your painkillers?" He asked.

You answered him by shaking your head.

"Okay, let's get you home," he helped you stand up straight.

Kylian knew it was bad. You could barely walk and you couldn't stand up straight on your own. You leaned your body against him as he helped you walk.

"Attends ici (wait here)," he left you by an empty table and hurried to get your things. He whispered something in his mother's ear who turned to look at you and nodded while giving you a sad look. She knew how much your period bothered you.

Kylian returned to your side and helped you to the car. He opened the passenger door for you and helped you settle in before clipping your seat belt in place. He got into the driver's seat and started the car (let's assume he can drive in this one). He drove you home as fast as he could without committing any traffic violations. He kept on looking over at you. The pain was written all over your face. You were breathing heavily and shaking.

When you got home, he parked the car in the garage and carried you into the house. He carried you to your bedroom and gently placed you on the bed. You lay on your side in a fetal position, your arms wrapped around your belly.

He ran downstairs to the kitchen and put the kettle on. He grabbed a bottle of water from the water cabinet and brought it to the bedroom. You were already stripping out of your dress when he got back. He got your painkillers from the side drawer and gave you two and the water to drink. He took the bottle from you when you were done and placed it on the bedside table.

He went to the closet and got you a comfy set of pyjamas to wear. He helped you put them on and tucked you in. He got your hot water bottle from the bathroom and went back to the kitchen. The kettle was done boiling when he arrived. He poured the hot water into the bottle, closed it tight and made sure it wouldn't spill. He brought the bottle back into the bedroom and covered it with a towel so it wouldn't burn you. He placed the water bottle under the covers near your stomach.

You hugged the bottle close to you and thanked him.

Kylian stripped out of his clothes and put on a pair of sweatpants. He got under the covers behind you and pulled you close to him. He rubbed your back as he listened to your moans of pain. It was all he could do at this moment.

After a while, he noticed that you had gone still and quiet. He looked over you and saw that you were asleep. The pain on your face was replaced with a calm expression and your painful moans with gentle breaths. He was glad that you were not in pain anymore.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

[choerrysjubiles]

All Superimposed

Pairing: Sungchan x fem!reader

Warning: smut! reader is ovulating, table sex, cunnilingus, fingering, backshots, protected sex, multiple orgasms, cum eating, sungchan utilizing chairs

wc: 2.3k

a/n: beginning and ending feels rushed because i do not care about plot <3 the plot is i want sungchan's dick in me <3<3

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Days off with y/n were Sungchan's favorite. They could stay in and relax together, watching shows and spend their day cuddling. They could go out on an impromptu date, visiting a museum or diner before taking a plethora of candids of each other. Meet up with friends. He couldn't spend enough time with her.

Tired muscles relaxing in the sheets of his bed, Sungchan felt his phone vibrate, a text from one of their mutual friends. It was something about planning a surprise birthday party.

Calling out to y/n, he got up to dress and make their way out.

The couple met up with their friend at a cafe. Their small group catching up on their week affairs, chatting, laughing, ordering drinks and snacks before getting to business.

This was fine and normal, Sungchan sitting, arm entwined with y/n's as they listened to some party pitch. But Sungchan slowly became distracted as he felt y/n's hands move around.

From this morning to now, the moments he's relaxed with y/n she's had some hand on him. Which is fine, his love language was physical touch. But something about the way she rubbed his forearm and twisted the joints on his hand. He felt a suspicion but couldn't pin it down.

Even when they drove, his hand often landed on her thigh as he drove but she usually left it alone. Today she was just as touchy as their morning, as right now.

As they began discussing what decor to bring and what games to play, Sungchan felt her free hands travel up to his bicep. Giving light squeezes to his muscle. He gave her a look over before forcing his attention back to his friends.

Later on Sungchan noticed she'd stare a little longer at him than normal. He could swear he saw her pupils blow out, her eyes undressing him even from her peripheral.

After everyone left, they drove around window shopping for presents. Hand in hand, they walked around stores. Looking at anything they could gift. Sungchan usually intertwined their fingers together but this time she was feeling and almost investigating his hand. Her small fingers reaching over to brush his finger pads or rubbing the joints.

Sungchan wrote it off, thinking it's just because they haven't had many days together in a while.

Arriving home, Sungchan still wondered what was up with y/n. She wasn't usually like this when they went out, maybe on a solo date but never so publicly.

She was changing into comfortable house clothes as Sungchan stood in their kitchen investigating what was up with her. Pondering when the last time she was like this until it dawned on him.

Just last month she acted similar, maybe a little less bold but horny regardless. A week before her period y/n was very touchy and all over him. Kissing him, nightly asking for him to touch her and make her cum. Even throughout the day, she'd beg for some kind of touch from Sungchan.

Hearing her walk out, Sungchan followed her. She sat at their dining table, laptop looking something up. Sungchan sat beside her, watching her actions, her movements.

Leaning his head onto her shoulder, he wrapped his arm around her waist.

"How are you feeling, mama's?"

Y/n bursted out laughing, "Mama's?"

He laughed before continuing, "I noticed you were acting a little different earlier today, are you alright?"

"I'm fine." She replied, smiling.

Sungchan hummed in response. He's not buying it but whatever. He stays sat beside her, scrolling on his phone to pass time, occasionally looking over at y/n.

Hearing a soft huff, Sungchan turns his attention to his girlfriend. Brows slightly furrowed, as she ghosts over the keys on her laptop.

"Are you alright?"

Taking a deep breath she caves, "I think I'm ovulating."

Knew it.

Sungchan felt his smirk grow more, leaning over to rub her hip and waist.

"Would you like to have sex?" He had a boyish smile splayed across his face, feeling the confidence of knowing exactly what was wrong with her. Being right felt so good.

"Can we?"

He leaves a wet kiss on her cheek.

"Of course." He said before closing her laptop and giving her a proper kiss.

Turning, y/n held onto his shoulders as he scooped her up from her rear before sitting y/n onto their table. Spreading her legs to stand flushed against her. Leaning down, he trails wet kisses down to her neck and collarbones before removing her shirt.

"Sungchan."

"I'm right here, baby."

He unclasped her bra before licking and massaging her breasts. Feeling how warm and soft they were. He wondered if they felt this soft last time they had sex or if her ovulation changed them.

Teasingly sucking and pinching her nipples, Sungchan then traveled lower across y/n's stomach and stopped at her waistband. Looking up at her, he moved his right hand to feel how hot her core was. An almost pulsing warmth coming from her pants.

Slowly he popped the button of her pants open and slowly slid the zipper down. Teasing her as much as possible. Her whines grew louder as he slid the pants down her hips and pulled then off of her legs.

He grabbed onto a chair to get a good seat for his meal.

Seeing her panties, he could see a clear wet spot from her clit to her opening. Leaning in to get a deep breath of her scent, Sungchan began licking and teasing y/n.

"Chanie." She moaned, falling back onto the table.

When he grew impatient he grabbed at the top and ripped the lacey panties in half. Y/n gasped at the sudden cool air.

Sungchan dove into her core with a flat tongue before prodding at her clit with a stiff tongue. Her moans made his go crazy, trying to push his tongue as far into her opening as it could reach before dragging it up to her clit.

He continued his actions, feeling her hands grab at his scalp. A decent grip holding onto his hair as she tried holding Sungchan deeper her pelvis. Her moans grew louder and louder until Sungchan felt a flood of sweet cum drip onto his tongue.

Cries of overstimulation didn't stop Sungchan from slurping up the slick dripping from his beloved girlfriend.

When he detached he let her get a breather, deciding to take his shirt off to wipe his mouth.

Rubbing her thigh, "How are you?" He asked, adoration and lust clouding his voice.

"Can you finger me?"

"You want more?"

"Please."

With a wide smile, Sungchan scooted closer and stretched his right hand before inserting two fingers into her core. Warm and slippery from her orgasm, Sungchan easily slides in and out of her. His left arm laying along her thigh and hip to rub light circles onto her clit.

His fingers were long and filled her up. Moans and gasps filled the air as Sungchan sped up before slowing down, teasing and feeling as much of her walls as he could.

Her hips begin thrusting upwards making Sungchan put weight onto his left arm to hold y/n still.

"Can you, mmm, more?" She begged.

Sungchan looked up at her with a sparkle in his eye.

"Of course, baby."

He added another finger, making a scissor motion to stretch her out. Y/n, moaning even louder than before. Sungchan sees one hand move down to grasp onto his forearm and he speeds up, pumping stronger into her hole as he leans in to lap at her clit. Strings of cum falling onto his chin.

Her grip tightens as she feels that coil come undone, legs folding in as Sungchan finger bangs her into her orgasm. Her breathing is ragged and throaty. Her breasts sliding lightly as her breathing slowly calms.

Y/n is flushed from her ears to her neck, hair splayed across the table, legs lazily spread as more of her cum drips out of her. And still nothing made Sungchan harder than her asking him to fuck her.

"You can take more?"

"I can take a lot more." She whines.

"Can we switch up positions?" He asked as y/n nodded.

Y/n turned to face away from Sungchan as she stretched her knees far, pussy dripping onto the table as Sungchan got a full view of her ass.

Stepping back, Sungchan began removing his pants and boxers.

"You're gonna be the death of me." He said, before walking into their shared bedroom to grab some condoms.

He grabbed a rolls of them in case she wants to go multiple rounds. Walking back, he gets a good look at how wet she is.

Unwrapping and rolling the condom on, Sungchan aligns with her core and grabs her hips to slowly rock her onto his cock. It took some time, her two orgasms and the angle making her feel incredibly tight. He continued pushing in, feeling her clench so tightly he wondered if it could fully fit inside.

Y/n let out a drawn out moan, stopping a little after he was fully inside her.

"I need you to move so badly, Sungchan."

He stayed still a little longer, he may have been ungodly horny and his dick may explode at any second but he's not gonna hurt his angel.

He gripped onto her hips a little tighter as he drew out and thrusted back in, hands pushed her into his thrusts to add power to each blow.

Y/n clenched and spasmed around him, feeling incredibly fucked out. This is exactly what she needed, Sungchan's strong hands wrapping around her, his huge dick plowing deep into her.

Steadying his rhythm and seeing y/n is pleasure, Sungchan starts picking up his pace.

"Feel good, baby?"

Opening her mouth to speak, y/n could only let out a high moan.

"S-so good."

Before long she felt her that tightness again, moaning nonsense as her hand moved from holding her up to grabbing Sungchan's hand to rub her clit.

Sungchan was barely able to contain himself, she felt so tight right now he felt himself come undone as she grabbed at his hand. Roughly thrusting in and out as he rubbed harsh circles into her clit.

Feeling her squeeze even tighter around him made him come undone, moaning so loudly. Hips thrusting even faster in and out of her even through the pain of overstimulation.

Pulling out, Sungchan fell back into the chair. He pulled off the condom with heavy breaths before tying it and tossing it somewhere behind him.

Y/n moving to sit upright onto the table, facing Sungchan. Her breathing was just as ragged, a pool of cum dripping from her onto the table.

"Would you like more?" Sungchan asked, a fucked out smile plastered on his face.

As he said it, y/n felt a wave of neediness overtake her. Her core continuing to throb and she adjusted on the table.

"Can I?"

Shit. He really wasn't expecting a fourth round right now.

"Even if it's just your mouth. I'm still so fucking horny." She pleaded.

Scooting closer, Sungchan grabbed onto her thighs to spread them farther. Y/n laid down as Sungchan leaned in to begin eating. There was a plethora of cum on her pussy, his fingers playing with her as he looked up to see her ragged breaths.

"Don't tease me." She whined.

Sungchan licked her up with a flat tongue to collect as much of her cum as he could.

Y/n continued moaning and grasping onto him. He moved up to lick and play with her clit before moving down to slurp at her opening, still stretched out from his dick.

With enough alternating she came again. A flood of sweet-salty cum filling Sungchan's mouth as he drew away from her core. He felt himself harden again.

"My dick is so hard right now." He said pulling y/n into his lap.

With the hottest fucked out expression Sungchan's ever seen on y/n, she replied with "I can go again."

Leaning in to kiss her, she could taste a mix of his saliva and her cum. Sungchan wrapped his arms around her to pick her up and sit back down onto the chair. Moaning, she feels for where he left the roll of condoms. Grabbing and tearing at one she opens the foil before sliding it on Sungchan's length.

Sungchan grabbed her ass to hold her up before sinking her down onto his dick. Both moaning into their kiss as Sungchan's hips unintentionally thrust into her heat.

"Yes! Yes!" She moans.

They both desperately thrust and bounce on each other, chasing their highs. Sungchan's grip keeps tightening the closer he gets to his orgasm as y/n keeps moaning and holding onto his biceps.

The feeling of Sungchan dragging along her walls becomes too much as she moans and gives a final squeeze around Sungchan. He gives a few lasts thrusts in her before he collapses into the chair beneath them.

Both feeling fully fucked out, they lay together, calming their breathing.

"I think I gotta tap out." Y/n says.

Sungchan rubs her back, his warm hands leaving goosebumps across her skin.

"We should go shower."

"Not right now, I need a breather before I try getting up again."

Sungchan nods.

"You did real good, you know." He compliments.

"I did?" Y/n laughed.

"Five rounds? Back to back? That's impressive."

Y/n laughed as they stayed there for a minute. Tucked into the side of his neck, leaving light kisses along Sungchan's skin.

Catching their breaths, Sungchan was able to lift her up and onto her lap as he disposed of the condom.

Testing her strength, y/n stood, careful to not fall over. They both walking over to their bathroom as Sungchan started a bath for the two.

He carefully laid y/n into the warm water and began washing her hair.

[htttg]

I fell for you - Alessia Russo x reader

Summary: You and Alessia Russo are both strikers on the England team, but you've never got along. The friction between you two explodes after a drunken night and leads to a whole bunch of unresolved feelings being brought up.

Angst -> Resolution

6k words (longer than I expected)

It was getting later as I pulled into the McDonald's drive thru line after having a quiet evening to myself for the first time in forever. It was weirdly busy for a late evening, and I had been waiting to order for about five minutes when I got a call from Tooney, one of my best mates.

"Tooney? What's up?"

"Are you doing anything right now?"

"No nothing really. Why?"

"Can you do me a favour?"

"Sure,"

"Can you go get Less for me?"

"You want me to... go get Russo for you?" I asked, a little baffled at the request for multiple reasons.

Firstly, I didn't know what the situation was where I'd have to go and pick up Toone's friend for her. Secondly, when Tooney wanted a favour is was normally picking up something from the shops for her. Thirdly, although Alessia Russo was a really great friend of Ella's, the football player had made it very clear in the past that she didn't want anything to do with me.

"Yes please, it's important,"

"Okay firstly why? Secondly why can't you? And third where from?"

"Oh my god, so you'll do it,"

"Yes, yes if you need me to, but answer my questions at least,"

I pulled out of the drive thru, annoyingly I was next in line, but I reluctantly drove off.

"She's in the pub we went to for Mary's birthday, and well I got a call from Leah, saying they'd gone out with a few friends and apparently she's got really drunk really quick. Leah asked if I could pick her up because they're all drunk but I'm with my family and I've been drinking as well so I can't go. You're the only person I know who's close enough,"

"Alright, yeah I'm on my way. I'll be there in 10,"

"You are genuinely fantastic, I owe you alright?"

"Yes, you really do owe me big time,"

"Text me with any updates, mkay?"

"Sure, yeah, talk to you later,"

"Bye! Thank you!"

I sighed after I hung up, and continued the drive to the pub. I parked in the car park around the back of the pub, and went in, becoming oddly conscious of my sweats and tshirt, not something I'd usually wear to a pub.

I went in, and caught Leah's eye, and she came over to me quickly.

"Tooney sent you?" she asked, just as confused as I'd been when I got the call.

"Yeah. She's drinking and I was nearby,"

She nodded, but her furrowed brow told me she still didn't really get it.

"Well you really are saving us right now. We were gonna head to a club after this, but I don't even know how she got so drunk. She's been really up and down all day though,"

"Alright, well I'll just take her home and you can get on with your night out,"

"Genuinely thank you so much," Leah said, and led me over to a booth where a couple of the girls were sat, Alessia in the middle, evidently extremely drunk, talking to Keira very loudly about something that happened in training.

She made herself laugh, and giggled obnoxiously. Keira chuckled at her antics, but looked very relieved to see me come up to the table.

"C'mon Russo, let's go," I muttered. The girl turned to look at me sharply, her smile dropping.

"What are you doing here?"

"Taking your stupid arse home because you got wasted at pre's,"

"I'm not drunk!"

"I really don't care, but I'm taking you home, alright, because Tooney asked me to,"

"I'm not going anywhere with you,"

With a lot of persuading from the girls and the promise of another night out soon, the forward finally climbed out the booth and stood up to come with me.

She wobbled on her feet and fell into me a little. I tried to help steady her, but she just pushed me away.

"Just take me home or whatever,"

"Whatever you say," I mumbled.

I said goodbye to the girls, who gave me some very thankful looks and with Russo stumbling behind me, left them to it.

I made sure to go to the bar first and buy a couple bottles of water, which because it was a pub, cost me 12 quid. A stupid price really, but at least it was quick.

I helped Russo into the passenger seat of my car, which she ended up mostly falling into, and passed her a bottle of water, telling her to drink. I grabbed a carrier bag from my boot, just in case and handed it to her as I got into the drivers seat.

"Why are here? Huh? No one told me you'd be here. You weren't invited,"

"I was, actually, but decided to have a day to myself. That's gone to shit now because you can't handle your fucking drink,"

I started the car, with Russo mumbling incoherent insults beside me.

"Right, you're gonna have to help me out a little bit here and tell me where you live,"

"No,"

"Well, it's either that or you're coming back to mine instead, which would you rather,"

"I'm not telling you where I live," she said stubbornly with a pout.

"Are you-" I started to argue but stopped myself. It wasn't the time to start this whole thing, not with her barely seeing straight, "never mind, to my house it is,"

I turned out of the car park, conscious of Alessia fiddling with my car, searching the glovebox and cupholders and every other little pockets for something.

"I don't- I don't like this car," she complained right when I'd pulled onto a busy road. She started fiddling with her seat belt.

"Russo! What are you- don't!"

She'd undone her seatbelt and I had to last minute pull aside, causing the car behind me to beep at me. I grab Alessia's arm to stop her from trying to get out the car completely.

"Get off me!"

"Alessia fucking Russo sit the fuck down. I don't care if you don't like me and I don't care if you don't like my car but you didn't leave a whole lot of options when you got super wasted at a random bar on a Saturday night, alright? You thinking I want to be spending my night driving someone who hates my guts back home? I didn't get a whole lot of options either darling so just shut up and sit down and don't you dare move,"

I surprised myself with my outburst, and evidently shocked her too as she stopped trying to get out the car and sat there, stroppy expression on her face and arms folded.

"Ok, good," I mumbled, "seatbelt back on. Russo? Alessia, seatbelt!"

She didn't move, so I grumbled and leant over her to pull her belt across her. I was expecting her to complain or shove me away, but she stayed deadly still and just let me.

I pulled back onto the road and continued the drive to my house. It was silent in the car for all of five minutes before she started complaining again.

"Why did Tooney send you? Huh? Trying to punish me for having a little drink?"

That continued until I pulled into my driveway.

"Where are we?" she asked, confused.

"My house. You wouldn't let me take you to your house remember?"

I got out and went to her side of the car, opening her door and helping her out. She was even less stable on her feet now, and she let me walk her to the front door and into the house.

I sat her down on the stairs, took off her shoes as she drank some more water, took her coat off and hung it on the bannisters and then took her upstairs. She knocked down some pictures on the wall as she went, I gritted my teeth.

"I need to piss," she mumbled.

"What do you want me to do about that?"

"I-" she sighed, "nothing,"

I took her to the bathroom, and then let her get herself on the toilet. She was unaware of her movements and ended up hitting stuff off the sink and stuff.

"Wow, such a big girl going to the toilet all by yourself," I teased, ribbing her as I watched her struggle as I left the bathroom.

As she did that, I went to my bedroom and started tidying it up and gathering some spare blankets and pillows. Downstairs, I set up a bed on the sofa and then went back upstairs when I heard retching from the bathroom.

"Oh, in my bath, great!" I mumbled but went up to her and tied her hair back. I shifted her to the toilet instead and sat with her on my bathroom floor until she stopped throwing up. She pushed herself away from the toilet, which I flushed, and she curled into a ball on the floor.

"This is so soft," she hummed, stroking my bathmat.

"You wanna know what's even softer? The bed, okay? Come here,"

I helped her stand and took her to my bedroom, sitting her down on the bed. She quickly started pulling off her clothes, which took me by surprise a bit, but I grabbed a spare t-shirt and shorts and threw them towards her.

As she struggled to pull them on, I refused to help with this part and just kept tidying my room so that if she decided to spew vomit everywhere, my stuff was safe.

"Right, I'm gonna put a bowl here, alright, now please don't throw up in my bed,"

"Your bed?" she asked a little puzzled.

"Yes,"

She was quiet as I continued to prep my room for her to sleep - closing the windows and curtains etc.

"Y'know, I don't really hate you that much,"

"Oh wow, best compliment ever!"

"Well- I mean at all,"

"If this conversation is going to happen, let's wait ‘till morning. Here drink some more water,"

I sat next to her to prompt her to drink water, which she did.

"You're being nice,"

"Funny enough I don't think now really is the right time to be pissed at you. You're drunk, almost everyone deserves a little bit of help when they can't even walk straight,"

"Why are you pissed at me?" she asked, which made me roll my eyes.

"You're joking, right? I'm clearly not your favourite person ever but you could've at least tried to be a little nice to me."

"No, I couldn't,"

"And why now, ay?"

"Just because,"

"Right. Just because, now it all makes sense,"

"Because otherwise I would like you too much,"

I froze at hearing that come out her mouth. I didn't know what she was trying to say, just it couldn't have been anything like what came out, no way.

"Sleep. We can talk in the morning. I'll look forward to your post-drunk clarity,"

I got up to leave, hearing her say one more thing as she crawled under the covers.

"You're funny,"

I left the room and did some general chores. I made sure to put her phone on charge and tidied up the house after Russo had knocked some things over.

I headed to my make-shift bed on the sofa, and crawled under the blankets and tried to sleep, but it was obvious that it wasn't going to work. That thing that Russo had said, obviously she mixed up her words - right? She was too drunk to know what she was saying - right?

-- The next morning --

I was woken up by a million texts coming through on my phones. Tooney.

"Hey Tooney,"

"Hey, did it all go alright last night?"

"Oh fuck," I mumbled, suddenly remembering the events of yesterday and that Alessia Russo was asleep in my bed.

"What?!"

"Oh, no it went fine, you just woke me up is all,"

I stood up and wandered to my kitchen and made myself a coffee.

"God, I'm never sleeping on my sofa again - that thing is uncomfortable!"

"Why are you sleeping on your sofa?"

"Because there's a hungover sleeping footballer in my bed. She refused to let me take her to her own place yesterday, so now we're here. You owe me 12 quid from water by the way,"

"12 quid?"

"Yeah, absolute rip off for water and just because it comes in a glass bottle, I guess it suddenly becomes liquid gold," I groaned with a yawn.

"So it really went okay last night?"

"I don't know, I mean I haven't checked on her at all but yeah, we're all alive,"

"Good,"

"She said something really weird to me yesterday,"

"What'd she say?"

"Hmm, to be fair she was absolutely shitheaded and obviously didn't know what she was saying, but she said something about having to hate me because otherwise she'd like me too much. Whatever that means,"

"Yeah, that's weird, but if she was that bad, I guess it can't mean too much. Look just- I have to go but thank you so much for last night, I wouldn't have known what to do without you,"

"Yeah, I would say no problem but eh, that wouldn't be so true, but yeah. You owe me, and you better make it up to me, blah blah blah, I'll talk to you later,"

"Course, yeah, bye,"

"Bye,"

I drank my coffee and had a banana for breakfast and then heard the sound of footsteps upstairs. I made some toast and got a glass of water and shortly after, Russo came downstairs, rubbing her temples and squinting in the bright light.

"You look like shit," I mumbled as she sat down on a stool.

She gave no reply, and I just nudged the food and drink towards her.

"God, I can't," she groaned.

"Suit yourself," I responded and just grabbed a drink from the fridge for myself, "you got a ride home?"

"Really?"

"What?" I asked bluntly.

She just rolled her eyes and I saw her jaw clench.

I ignored it, and went to the living room, where I tidied up the makeshift bed on the sofa and dumped the blankets and pillows in the corner of the room. I sat down and put on a film.

A couple minutes later, Russo walked in. She was actually eating the toast I'd given her and had the water in the other hand.

"Tooney's picking me up in 10,"

I gave no reply and kept my gaze fixed on the tv. I didn't know whether or not I should ask her about what she said yesterday or not. She probably doesn't even remember, but the sentence was circling my brain.

"You could at least acknowledge what I just said," she huffed as she sat down on the opposite side of the sofa.

"And you could acknowledge the fact that I gave up my evening to pick you up yesterday,"

"And to think you were actually somewhat nice to me yesterday,"

"I made you toast. Speaking of don't get crumbs on my sofa,"

"Did you sleep here yesterday?"

"Wasn't about to climb into bed next to you for a cuddle,"

"You're so-" she stopped herself from what she was about to say.

"I'm so what? Say it,"

"This film is boring,"

"So leave,"

"Tooney's on the way, what do you want me to do? Walk the two hours walk back to my house?"

"I'd prefer it, yeah,"

"You're so frustrating, my god!" She stormed back to the kitchen, but for some reason I couldn't let it go and followed her.

"I think you forget sometimes that I was actually nice to you when we met. Like I actually wanted to be friends and you just started icing me out,"

She was silent, and just took another bite of toast.

"I picked you up last night. I let you sleep in my bed. I-"

"Alright I get it. I'm too hungover for this right now,"

"Oh wow, the consequences of your own actions, surprise surprise," I calmed down a little, "look, I picked you up yesterday as a favour for Ella, so you don't wanna say a word of thanks then fine. You do owe the girls an apology though, stressing them out and shit,"

We fell into silence once again.

The doorbell went, and I went to get it, being greeted by Tooney outside. We would've talked for a bit, but I had no energy. She sensed the tense atmosphere, deciding not to make any jokes or anything.

"She's in here," I said, leading Tooney to the kitchen.

Russo was sat up on the counter, which weirdly bugged me, finishing off her toast.

"Ready to go Less?" Ella asked.

"Yeah,"

"God, you look rough," she commented, which normally would've earned a chuckle from Russo, but she just didn't react.

She finished the last bite of toast and hopped off the counter. She left the plate on the side, which I then moved next to the sink. To be honest it was a purposeful decision, just to make her see how I had been picking up her shit all night.

"Let's go then," Tooney spoke.

"Mm, please," Russo replied, making me roll my eyes.

"Keep the clothes, I don't want them back," I muttered, which went ignored by Russo.

They left, and I was finally alone. I ventured upstairs to my room, which now smelt like a mixture of perfume and vodka. I grimaced, and just changed the sheets on the bed.

I spent most of that day deep cleaning my house, which I knew wasn't necessary, but I didn't want a single reminder of any of it.

At training the next day, I showed up early to get the kit out, help set up, and get a head start on the warmup. Tooney was there too, and we talked and joked a little as we went. The girls started showing up gradually, and Russo walked onto the pitch.

Part of me had hoped she wouldn't turn up, which was stupid, I know, especially considering that playing for England was a big deal, not something you skip just because you want to. Well, here she was, right on time and walking up to me.

I had been playing two-touch with a few of the girls and stepped away when I saw Russo call me over.

I gave Tooney a bit of a look, a mix of confused and annoyed.

"Your clothes. Washes and dried," Russo said, handing me a bag.

"I said I didn't want them back,"

"I know you did, but still. Also, I think we should talk,"

"About what exactly?"

"Hating each other doesn't make us play better, okay? So either we talk or Sarina's gonna notice us avoiding each other and make us talk. I don't know about you but I'd rather do it on my own terms,"

Before I could respond, Sarina called us over and she started setting up a quick game.

She allocated teams, and I stuck on a bib. Russo was on my team, annoying but fine.

The game was standard enough, there was a lot of back and forth but both sides got a couple goals in.

About half an hour later, and the ball ended up at my feet. I reacted quickly, dribbling it over to the goal, speeding past the defenders on the other side.

I was getting closer to the goal and could see two defenders coming towards me from different sides.

"I'm here," I heard Russo call from a little distance away. She had a better position, and also didn't have two defenders and a keeper focused on her, but I kept the ball.

I got into the penalty area and kicked the ball just as I got tackled to the ground. I landed on my hip, sending pain through my body but I didn't care, and followed the ball with my eyes.

It breezed past Mary's fingertips and went right into the back of the net. I breathed a sigh of relief and bounced to my feet. I held out a hand for Greenwood, who had tackled me and helped her to her feet.

"Sorry, that was a bit heavy," she apologised, but I tapped her shoulder and shrugged, dismissing it. She ran off.

A hand landed on my shoulder, a bit roughly and it caught me off guard, so I tripped forward a little. It was Russo.

"I was right there, why didn't you pass?"

"I got the goal, no one cares," I shrugged, avoiding making any eye contact. I jogged away.

The interaction didn't go unnoticed by the rest of the team, or Sarina. A couple glances were exchanged, making me grit my teeth but the game continued.

After the game, Sarina told us to get on with some drills, and started pulling each of us aside to talk and give some feedback.

"Y/N," I heard my name eventually be called up and I jogged over to the England coach, "right, you looked good today, good job. Stamina, great. Ball control, great. Just improve that drive a little more, maybe you were a little distracted or something but keep it up. Some lovely goals,"

"Thanks coach," I replied.

"Ok, who's next," she muttered to herself, "Russo!" she called to the forward who promptly left her exercise.

I turned to leave, retreating back to my drill.

"Hold on, Y/N I didn't say go,"

I froze and turned back to Sarina, my nerves and heart rate increasing and my jaw clenching.

Russo reached us, and I sensed her glance at me.

"You know what I will say, and I don't really wish to comment, but I want it sorted by practice tomorrow,"

"Yes coach," Russo responded and Sarina turned to me for a reply

"Yeah, course,"

She dismissed me, and I went back to my drill.

After practice, I headed to the showers along with a few others. I'd normally just wait till I got home to have a shower, but I was a little more muddy than usual and my muscles ached a little, so I hopped in now.

I turned the hot water up, enjoying the heat.

I got out and went over to the big mirror, where some of the team were chatting and brushing their hair. I joined them, brushing through the tangles in my hair whilst we talked.

Eventually I packed up my stuff and headed to my car. I stopped short seeing Russo standing by my car. I wanted to go back inside and hide out until she left, but that was stupid, so I just went over.

"I think you've got the wrong car," I told her, making her look up from her phone. I didn't mean it solely as an insult, but it came out that way.

"Can we just go for a drive or something?"

"Fine,"

The first few minutes of the drive were silent, an awkward air hovering. I broke the silence with the question that had been playing in my mind for days.

"I couldn't be nice to you because otherwise I would like you too much,"

"What?" she asked, completely puzzled.

"That's what you said to me, in your hammered state you said that. I wanna know what you meant by it,"

"I- What? That- doesn't matter," she stammered.

"Except it does,"

It was quiet for a moment.

"You should’ve made that pass to me today,"

"Well, I didn't, I don't know what you want me to do about it now,"

"Can we- can we just not speak like this? It's tiring and pointless,"

I sighed, silently agreeing.

"I- I honestly don't know how to talk to you any other way," I mumbled.

"God, I wish we could just start over. I shouldn't have ever treated you the way I did, and honestly, I don't know why I still kind of do,"

"That's nice to hear," I said truthfully, "wanna go get a coffee?"

"Sure, that'd be nice,"

We drove in silence to the Starbucks drive thru.

"What d'you want?" I asked.

"Iced vanilla latte, thanks,"

I ordered her latte and got myself a caramel macchiato and we hit the road again.

"Tomorrow, at training, I'll make that pass to you. I know I should've done it today,"

"It was a nice shot though,"

"It was. I don't- it's- I'm normally better when it comes to those things. Like, leave the baggage at the door type of thing. When I play normally people just- just become shirts really, maybe that's weird. But I get asked sometimes how I feel about playing against a friend of mine, and to be honest I just don't care much. It doesn't normally change anything about the way I play,"

"I get that, it's not even that you're picking your team over your friend, it's just instinct,"

"Yeah, exactly. I guess I broke that pattern today,"

"Mhmm, wow I feel a little special now," she teased.

I gave her a sarcastic look, a smirk finding its way onto my face.

"Don't think I've ever seen you smile properly, not anywhere near me at least,"

"Been watching me Russo?" I joked, but she actually went a little quiet. I brushed it off and had a sip of coffee.

After the momentary silence lifted, we continued chatting. Surprisingly to both of us, we actually got on well. Talking was pretty easy when I pushed the past to the back of my mind. However, I couldn't shake the confusion about what she'd said still.

We were getting along, so why had she been so against this when we met?

"Russo, I know you said it doesn't matter, but I think it does. I still don't get what you meant the other day, about liking me too much, and I'm trying to forget it, but-"

"It was a drunken mumble," she quickly became defensive, "I guess I just saw you being kinda nice to me and got my words mixed up,"

"I- I don't think that was it,"

"It's getting late, I think we should just call it a day,"

"No! No let's not do that, I can forget it, it's fine,"

I knew now that if we couldn't become civil after today then it might never happen, and Sarina would be on our arses, and we'd lose some cohesion in the team. It would go downhill very fast and wouldn't be good for anyone.

I started a new conversation, leaving my nagging thoughts to eat away at me, remaining unanswered. It was best.

When we did end up saying goodbye, it was well into the evening and ended up being a nice day.

At training the next day, it was clear something had improved. Sarina nodded reassuringly, giving me some new confidence in me and Russo, despite the fact that I still had questions.

I went home that day, mind fogged. It was starting to really eat at me from the inside, but I shoved it down, way down, and tried to get on with my day.

I got a call from Leah in the evening, asking if she could come over for a little evening in and some drinks. I quickly agreed, in need of a distraction and she was over 20 minutes later.

We snacked on some popcorn as we chatted over some random film on in the background.

"You've actually been playing really well recently," Leah mumbled.

"Don't sound too surprised Hun, I can play football funny enough,"

"Well, maybe on your good days,"

I giggled a little and slapped her arm jokingly. The effect of a few beers starting to make me a little merry.

"What's going on between you and Russo lately though, it's been really weird,"

"Ugh, I don't wanna get into it," I groaned.

"Oh okay, you don't have to,"

"Actually, I do," I stated bluntly, realising now how I needed to unpack everything, "but please don't tell anyone Leah, I just need to unpack a little,"

"I wouldn't do that,"

"I know you wouldn't. Normally this is the type of thing I'd talk to Tooney about, but to be honest I'm a little nervous that it would get back to Russo, considering how close they are and how chatty Tooney can be, especially when she's tipsy or something,"

"So, what's going on?"

"You remember when Russo and I first met, I thought we were gonna be friends, but she acted like she wanted nothing to do with me?"

"Yeah, I remember,"

"Well after I picked her up the other day from the pub, she crashed at mine, and I was actually being somewhat nice to her, cause obviously she needed some help being so drunk. But she kept ribbing me in the car and what not, just sort of our standard stuff really, except worse because she was drunk,"

"Right,"

"Anyway, we've actually got a little closer from it, partly because we weren't arguing at the whole time for once, and also partly cause Sarina basically told us to get our act together,"

"I saw that conversation, didn't look fun,"

"It wasn't, but we went for a drive that day and actually got along, like it was pretty fun,"

"So what's been eating away at you then? I can tell there's something on your mind,"

"It's this one thing she said to me whilst she was drunk. She said something along the lines of 'I couldn't be nice to you otherwise I would like you too much' and I haven't been able to figure out what she actually meant. I mean that's weird, right? Whenever I push her on it she just gets defensive and it ends up worse than before,"

"Yeah, yeah that's definitely weird," Leah agreed, but it looked like she was suppressing a small smirk.

"What?" she just laughed a little, "Leah what is it? What do you know that I don't. C'mon please tell me,"

"No, no I can't. I think you need to figure this one out yourself,"

"Leah, please, it's been on my mind constantly. It's affecting the way I play, it's affecting my life, I just can't deal with it anymore,"

Leah had a look on her face now, as if she was contemplating something really hard. I guessed she was debating explaining what she knew to me.

"Look, I think you should talk to Russo, she's rational and I'm sure-"

"I can't Leah, she'll just get irritated, and then it'll make it all worse again,"

"Okay, okay fine," she said and paused a lot.

"Leah, please-"

"Yeah, yeah it's just- look, when you two met, everyone thought that Russo might, well, might- no, no I just can't. It's not my place,"

I groaned dramatically at her back and forth with herself.

"You have to tell me now, you can't just leave it at that,"

"Well, everyone thought that Russo might have, well, a little... thing for you,"

She cringed at herself, and looked over to me, studying my blank expression. My head had exploded with thoughts.

"Obviously, we didn't know if it was true, I mean sure she'd stare at you when you played, and- what am I saying, oh god. Look I shouldn't have said anything, can you just pretend you didn't hear any of that... Y/N?"

I was staring off into space, mouth hanging open a little and eyebrows furrowed.

"Oh," is all I could manage to respond with.

"You should talk to her, okay. it wasn't my place to say anything and what do I know anyway. You should talk to her, it's not fair on anyone to just keep secrets,"

"No, I- I'm glad you told me. I will talk to her, I will,"

"For now, can we just- watch the film or something,"

"Yeah,"

"Popcorn?" she offered the bowl to me.

"Umm, no, thanks,"

She had a bit of a guilty expression on her face as she turned to the tv. I couldn't focus on the screen, or on anything really, my brain flicked between buzzing with questions to completely empty.

I got to talk to Russo the next day, she picked me up from my house in her car and we drove into town.

"Russo, I-"

"I know what you're gonna say, and I don't want you to say it,"

"Russo, okay please, it's been eating away at me, and I've tried to push it down but I just can't,"

I wanted to hear it from her, so I didn't mention anything Leah had said the day before. Russo kept her focus strictly on the road, acting as if I hadn't said anything.

"Russo, you said you couldn't be nice to me otherwise you'd like me too much. I hate to push you; I really do but I just have to get something from you. I don't know what you meant by that, and it's making me questions everything. I just can't keep thinking about it, I want to know, please,"

"I didn't mean anything by it, and I don't get why you can't just drop it,"

"I've tried!"

"I don't know what you want me to say,"

"I want you to tell me what it meant,"

"It didn't mean anything! I was drunk off my head, I couldn't even see straight I don't understand why you're holding me to something I said when I didn't even know what I was saying, and I don't even remember it!"

I couldn't think of anything else to say. She absolutely refused to explain what she'd said. If anything, her defensiveness just confirmed my suspicions that it had actually meant something - something she didn't want to admit.

"Alessia-"

"No, stop, I can't have this conversation right now,"

"Alessia, you've treated my awfully since we met, and granted I did the same to you, yes, but now you're telling me that maybe those years of resentment between us could've been avoided. And they can be avoided now if you tell me what you meant,"

"I can't believe you're still going on about this,"

"Of course I'm still going on about it, you won't tell me what it means and I can't eat I can't sleep I can't focus and I-" she interrupted my rambling

"Okay fine, I had this-" she started to say, but she stopped herself. It broke me when she was so close to giving an explanation but stopped. I felt sick at this point, there were tears starting to roll down my cheeks and my heart hurt.

"Pull over,"

"What?"

"Pull over, I need to get out. Pull over right now!"

"I'm in the middle of the road, there's nowhere to pull over, I can't just-"

"Alessia Russo pull over goddammit!"

"I fucking fell for you, ok, fuck. I'd known you for two days and I fell for you and I couldn't stop thinking about you and it hurt so much. I just couldn't live my days having feelings for you and shoving them back. I was the one who couldn't eat. I was the one who couldn't sleep or focus or breath or function. It hurt to see you laughing with someone else, it hurt to feel so much for someone who would never ever feel the same way. I just-"

"Please pull over," I whispered, and finally she did, the person behind her honking.

"I- shit. I- no- I," she started to stutter as I tried to organise my thoughts. I couldn't listen to her voice anymore, I just couldn't.

I kissed her. She was finally quiet. I kissed her, she kissed back. Her lips felt perfect. Her hand resting on my cheek felt perfect. Eventually I pulled away for air.

"I-" I started but this time it was her turn to interrupt me, pulling me back to her lips.

This time the kiss was deeper, more passionate. It was everything. Our lips moved together in sync; it was desperate, hungry. Our teeth were clashing, the occasional nibble on my lips. She shuffled around to get more comfortable, settling into the kiss until she accidentally hit the horn.

I jumped in surprise and pulled back. We sat back in our seats, not saying anything, just breathing heavily.

"I- I don't know what this means," she mumbled after a while of just sitting in contemplative silence.

"It means I fell for you too,"

I'm actually pretty proud of this, so hope you enjoyed!

[lovetaroandtaemin]

Kinktober 2024

Day 7: Degradation

Song Eunseok x Reader Word Count: 1,422 THIS FIC IS NSFW, MINORS DNI!!! Warnings: Degradation, mean dom!Eunseok, unprotected sex, creampie, Eunseok gets a little rough. If you think I missed a warning, let me know! A/N: If you would like to be added to my Kinktober taglist, you can send an ask, send a dm, or comment on one of my Kinktober-related posts with the username that you'd like tagged. Happy reading!

Taglist: @unlikelysublimekryptonite

Fic is under the cut.

Eunseok was one of the nicest people that you knew. He loved to help people, and he never had an unkind word to say about anyone. He wasn’t fake nice either. He genuinely cared about the people around him and wanted to make them happy. It was one of the many things that you loved about him.

Since the start of your relationship, Eunseok had treated you like a princess in every way. He made time for you whenever he could, and he never treated you with anything but love and respect. Even when the two of you had sex, it was incredibly gentle and loving. You would be lying if you said you never considered asking him to be rougher, but you felt bad about asking him to do something that seemed to go against his very nature. So, you chose to stay quiet.

Eunseok had no idea that you wanted him to be rougher with you in bed until you came home from a friend’s house one weekend. You were at your best friend Yeri’s house to celebrate her birthday, and a game of truth or dare had started. It was your turn to play, and you had picked truth. Yeri, ever the gossip, asked you, “How are things really going with Eunseok?”

“What do you mean?” you responded.

“Your relationship just looks a little too good to be true,” Yeri’s friend Seulgi added. “I think Yeri is asking if you guys are having any problems.”

“Oh, no, we’re not,” you said, a little bit too quickly for your friends to believe you.

“Ok, what is it?” Yeri asked.

“Well, I mean, I’m not really sure if we’re compatible sexually. I love him, and he is good in bed, but sometimes I just wish he would be a little bit rougher with me, you know? Like sometimes I just wanna be degraded,” you replied.

“Then just tell him that, (Y/N). Have a conversation about what you want,” Seulgi said. You knew she was right, but it still worried you. Serious conversations in a relationship rarely led to anything good in your experience.

“Alright, I’ll talk to him tonight. Soojin, truth or dare?” you asked, desperate to get the attention off of you.

When you left Yeri’s house, you decided to call Eunseok. You let him know that you would be home soon, and you started to drive back to your shared apartment. While you drove, you thought about what you wanted to say to him. It was important to you to emphasize that you loved him, and that you enjoyed sex with him, but you generally liked it a little rougher. You would ask him if he was willing to try taking on a different role in bed, and if he wasn’t you would work something out that worked for both of you.

When you walked through the door, you were greeted by Eunseok pulling you into a hug. You relaxed into his hold, overwhelmed from the night with your friends. You loved your friends dearly, but after several hours of your friends yelling and drinking you just wanted to be home.

Eunseok smiled when you looked up at him and asked you how your night went. You said, “It went ok, I guess. I do want to talk to you about something, though. Would that be alright?”

“Yeah, of course. What’s up, sweetheart?”

“If you’re comfortable with it, I’d like to try something new in the bedroom.”

“What is it, honey?”

“Do you think that maybe you could try being a little bit meaner? Or like, rougher?” you mumbled.

To say that Eunseok was surprised would have been an understatement. Truthfully, he had never considered being mean to you in bed before. It made him feel guilty because he wanted you to feel like a princess in every part of your relationship, including in the bedroom. He would be lying if he said the idea didn’t excite him at least little bit, however. So, he said, “We can give it a shot. Did you wanna try it tonight or another time?”

“Tonight?” you said, hiding your face in his neck.

“Aww, did my baby get needy while she was gone?” When you nodded, he chuckled and kissed you. When you pulled away, he said, “I didn’t realize that you were such a whore, love. You can’t even stop thinking about me when you’re out with your friends.” It was like a switch had been flipped in his brain. Not that you were complaining, though.

You let out a small whine before you said, “I only started thinking about it because they asked me.”

“Oh, really?” he asked. When you nodded again, he added, “How about we head to the bedroom so I can take care of you, then. How does that sound?”

“Sounds good, Seokie.”

That was all Eunseok needed to hear to basically drag you to your bedroom. Once you were through the door, he pushed you onto the bed and kissed you. When you felt his lips on yours, you let out a small moan and tangled your hands in his hair. He groaned and pulled away before instructing you to strip.

You did as told and watched as he did the same. The moment your clothes were off, he grabbed your chin and said, “Are you sure that you want this, angel? If you don’t we can stop here.”

“I’m sure. Want you to fuck me.”

Before you could say another word, Eunseok pinned you to your bed. Once he found a comfortable position on top of you, he slowly moved his hips forward. He moaned when he felt your walls around him, and it took every ounce of self-control that he had to not start thrusting immediately. He still wanted to be somewhat nice to you, though. Once he gave you a moment to adjust, he started to move.

The moans that left your mouth were louder than they usually were, and Eunseok had to admit that he liked being rough with you. A small part of him still felt guilty, but that guilt went away when he saw how much you seemed to be enjoying yourself. He loved you, and it made him happy to be able to fulfill your fantasies.

“Feels so good, Seokie,” you said with a moan.

“Yeah? You like when I treat you like a slut?” he asked. When you nodded vigorously, and he smirked. “Funny, I wouldn’t have expected my girl to be so fucking pathetic.”

“’m not pathetic,” you replied, an obvious whiny tone to your voice.

“Oh really? Last time I checked, only pathetic whores like being talked to like this.” You moaned louder than you meant to at his words, and Eunseok laughed. Then he added, “See? You’re just proving my point, love.”

“Fuck you.”

“Actually, I’m the one fucking you. Watch yourself, or I’m gonna stop. Understood?”

“Understood.”

“Good.”

Eunseok continued to pound into you mercilessly, and you loved it. The noises leaving his mouth were a clear sign that he loved it too. You secretly hoped that this wasn’t a one-time occurrence, but you decided to wait to think about that until after he was done with you. You were snapped out of your thoughts anyway when he started to leave small hickeys along your collarbone.

“Fuck, such a good slut for me. I should fuck you like this more often,” Eunseok said, seemingly reading your mind. You cried out again, the pleasure almost too much to handle.

As your orgasm started to approach, you tried to warn Eunseok. Instead of a warning, however, a series of moans and curses fell from your lips as you came around his cock. Feeling your release triggered his own, and he came inside you with one more loud groan. After the two of you came down from your highs, he quickly climbed off of you and helped you to your bathroom to shower together.

Once you were both out of the shower and in fresh clothes, Eunseok got in bed with you and held you. After the high wore off, the guilt of how he spoke to you really hit him. He told you over and over again how much he loved you, and that he didn’t mean the things that he said. You quickly reassured him that it was ok, and that you had enjoyed it. He still whispered sweet nothings into your ear while you held each other and drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

Thank you for reading! If you'd like to see what else I've written so far and the rest of what's planned, you can find my Kinktober masterlist here. If you'd like to read one of my non-Kinktober works, you can find my general masterlist here. If you'd like to see what I'm going to be working on once Kinktober is over, you can find my upcoming works here. If none of that interests you, or there's something specific you'd like to see, send a request via asks or dms!

Thank you again for reading, happy spooky season!