#they still hurt btw and ive since stopped playing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

faunastanza · 3 months ago

Text

Part 2: Floraverse starts getting weird and confusing

Try Try Again

God this arc. When people talk about where the comic lost them or where it stopped making sense, it's usually at this arc and for good reason.

Part 1 - Beleth (crossed out) Jupet

A burning Jupet lets go of the string that connected them to Beleth before the flowers reach them and falls into a pit in the angel world, wondering why they did that. They recall it was because there was nothing for them there, but when they hit the bottom of the pit, they also say there's nothing for them here either, and it won't be sad because it won't be anything. They then get angry and throw a tantrum about how stupid it was and a waste it was to let go, since they "weren't done" and now will never finish.

i don't know why the others put up with jupet honestly

A door nearby asks if Jupet's done with their tantrum and Jupet's like idk and the doors like okay we'll wait for you and that they all care about Jupet even though Jupet's being a big baby. The door say they're ready when Jupet is but Jupet doesn't want to go out looking like this (scribbly with a weird box x o head). The door says it's better if Jupet leaves it off but Jupet insists on putting it on, saying no one will recognize them otherwise. Jupet then turns into Beleth with a bag over their head and a bunch of broken strings coming off.

One thing that might help more of this make sense is that Beleth is actually a separate part of Jupet's soul put into a doll's body, which is why Beleth is such an autonomous and lifelike puppet, since no other puppets have soul bits like that. So Beleth is a separate piece of Jupet, which is why imagery between them keeps blurring. This doesn't get explained until way later but it makes more sense to just say it now.

The door says that Jupet won't be able to feel anything in her Bagbeleth... appearance? and Jupet freaks out about it lying to them and goes up in flames for a second. It then cuts to.... sigh...

Prologue IV, performed by The Theater Troupe

BagJupet sits down in front of a stage to watch a show and proclaims loudly to no one that they don't care about this and don't want to be here or anywhere. The strings off the bag head have got thorns on them now. We then get a title card for...

sigh...

Act I Part ?

with white Beleth. A white Beleth appears on stage and acts out some scene from BagJupet's past where they got hired to go to Trebol to work for Andre, saying they're excited they'll be able to use their dolls. BagJupet continues to be furious and shouts that they should have quit.

Act I Part II

The Beleth on stage and an Andre reenact a bit from Itchy Itchy where Andre caught Beleth reading comics on duty. BagJupet keeps screaming about how they don't want to see this and gets increasingly distorted into a jaggy black form.

Act I Part IV

Stage Beleth reenacts a bit from Itchy Itchy where the angel got hold of them and made them get lost in despair. Stage Beleth has the same hand-with-waveform angel coming out of their head. BagJupet shrieks about not wanting to think about this and demands they stop. Stage Beleth calls back disjointed dialogue from Itchy Itchy that kind of sounds like they're saying no to BagJupet now, which would be kind of a cool time loop if that was set up in advance. BagJupet is all spindly jaggies and screams that it hurts.

Act I Part V Prologue II

for christ's sake. what is this homestuck bs. SIGH. More Itchy Itchy reenactments, this time with Andre assuring Beleth that the angel is gone, although the angel is still dangling from their head. BagJupet screams at them to stop lying to them.

Act I Part ?'s title card is the pointy thing that played music in Before You Know It, the thing Amdusias's doppleganger was hanging out with.

Another Itchy Itchy reenactment, this time with Pride finding Beleth in the angel world. This is all taking place in the angel world still btw. Pride says its time to get out of this dump, while BagJupet screams that "we" can't, then berates themselves for being stupid enough to think they could.

Act II Part III

Reenactments from Broken Toy now, specifically the bit in Beleth's dream where they shout about what happened to their daughter while Jupet tells them they're sentenced to be forgotten. They do the "we must cast away the remnants of our selves and go through the doorway" bit, and BagJupet screams to stop.

Act II Part VI

Reenactment of the end of Broken Toy where Andre assures Beleth it won't hurt. BagJupet is so mad that they rip their own arm off screaming at them to stop or they'll make them stop. BagJupet destroys the stage and sets it on fire. Unperturbed, Stage Beleth keeps acting out their death, while BagJupet insists this has nothing to do with them. They whine again about how it wasn't done and they weren't finished, and an off-screen voice repeats them and asks if they're sure, and that they always regret it.

Act ? Part ?

how many versions of the same character can you have in one scene

God, okay. Stage Beleth is now on stage with a stage Jupet while BagJupet watches. Someone calls stage Jupet for dinner while stage Beleth screams about not wanting to see this and that it has nothing to do with them. Stage Beleth grabs stage Jupet and says that this is all their fault and that they made them forget. Stage Jupet says they're sorry but Stage Beleth doesn't believe them in a "I'm sorry" "not yet you're not" exchange that'll get called back later. Stage Jupet keeps saying they're sorry while Stage Beleth keeps telling them to stop or they'll make them stop.

do it!

BagBeleth has the three lines on their face now like the thing in the Seeds Prologue and tells them to stop. Stage Beleth and Stage Jupet are puzzled, asking BagJupet that didn't they want to redo things? BagJupet says not this time. BagJupet says that it was their fault and they didn't try hard enough. They were having so much fun, they thought it'd be better to forget. AGAIN they complain about not being done and not finishing, and they say that if Stage Beleth and Stage Jupet do "that", then they never will.

stop whining

BagJupet says they're sorry again and that they ruined the play, but the actors say they like the changes that they made. BagJupet says they also like them, and Stage Jupet asks if they want to be shown the way out, to which BagJupet agrees. BagJupet says they're sorry they forget them, but Stage Jupet says its okay and "we" love them anyway. BagJupet asks why, and Stage Jupet just says that they'll always love them. BagJupet says they just hurt them, and Stage Jupet says that's never been true. BagJupet then says they don't deserve this or any of them, which Stage Jupet also says is not true.

They come to a door, and BagJupet says they're scared they'll mess up again and that they'll forget again. Stage Jupet says it'll all work out as long as they change back, since no one will recognize them as they are. BagJupet changes back to a normal Jupet with a jacked up black eye. They give Stage Jupet a hug and say they'll miss them all, and then go through the door and say they'll see them later.

Try Try Again Part 2: Lily and Jupet Take a break

you've got something in your, uh

This is back in color in the real world and I have no idea when this is taking place. Lily and Jupet both have entirely new outfits, and Jupet has plants coming out of the eye that was jacked up in the dream and some plants coming out of their mane too. They're on a boat heading somewhere. Lily mentions that most of TAL is inactive at the moment, and that she was lucky to get Jupet and most of what they have as far as she did.

Jupet whines about how they hate it in Owel and that they want to go back home, but Lily says this IS their new home. Jupet keeps whining and asks Lily what she does in Althar with TAL. Lily says that TAL is mostly involved with "reconstruction" and changed a subway station into a house, and now she mostly reads to get info for her. Lily is Jupet's mom btw.

shut uuuuppppp

Jupet acts like a baby a bit more, and Lily says that TAL's been expecting them, particularly since Jupet "left". Jupet keeps acting like a baby and eventually says they're sorry that they couldn't help Lily and TAL more. Lily assures Jupet that nothing was their fault and that it all worked out okay so it's fine.

Lily says that TAL can make Jupet a new eyeball, although Jupet is dubious since they thought they needed the weird plants coming out of their eye. Lily doesn't actually know one way or another, just that TAL took care of Jupet when they got back. Jupet asks how long it'll take, and Lily says it only take a few months for her legs, but eyeballs are more complicated so it might take longer.

what ARE these

Jupet and Lily wait at the dock for TAL to come find them. TAL apparently went to the wrong dock so has to check the others one by one. Jupet is concerned about how TAL is only "one" right now, and Lily says that most of TAL is inactive. Jupet asks if it's because TAL left Teslic Yard, to which Lily says kinda, and that the reason they had to leave was the same reason they had to deactivate everything. Jupet asks if that's why no one knew they were awake and Lily says yes and that she thought Jupet was a burglar at first, saying that a few archaelogist-like people break into wherever they were like it's a forgotten tomb.

Jupet asks why they had to leave, and Lily says that TAL said "it" was getting worse. So Lily went to try and find a priest since she and TAL didn't know anything about "that stuff". She had to find a priest who knew about that stuff, could do housecalls, and could be sworn to secrecy, but by the time she did and returned, apparently the "things" spread and got so destructive that TAL took Jupet and left for their safety. Then about a month later TAL had to deactive everything except a few "puppets" that got sent "up here". Apparently whatever the "things" were they messed with TAL's machinery.

TAL, all knowing God machine, spindly piece of chewing gum

Jupet asks how close Lily and TAL are to getting them back home, but she doesn't know. Lily then says that Jupet was dead for several years, although to Jupet it only felt like a few seconds. Jupet apologizes for leaving and says that they were trying to help but just made things worse for Lily and TAL. Lily says its alright and that she wasn't sad until several months had passed and Jupet wasn't awake, since it took "him" only a month. A jackal type dude shows up and asks for Jupet, and it turns out the jackal is TAL in a disguise. TAL offers to make Jupet a new eyeball.

Try Try Again Part 3: Jupet gets an idea

Jupet's doing some kind of hypnosis thing with someone and says they're in their room.

Act ? Part III

Jupet says they're working with one of TAL's "finger puppets", a cat doll that looks like a fluffier Beleth that has machinery instead. Jupet trims down its fur and paints it white Beleth colors to make it "look cooler" and also less like something TAL would use. The hypnotist asks why Jupet is taking one of TAL's finger puppets to use for themselves, and Jupet says they're tired of playing with their action figures (all toy versions of Beleth, Cat n Fox, Doctor Nurse, etc) because they break, and TAL's don't break.

TAL puppets are very customizable and can do pretty much anything, and Jupet doesn't think that TAL will care if they borrow one. The hypnotist asks what happens if one of TAL's puppets breaks. Jupet insists that it can't break, while it cuts to white Beleth with the flowers in her eye, and then a burnt, shadowy puppet with no hair or features with a burnt out eye socket.

the lone shadowy burnt cat puppet thing

The burnt-out shadowy one says they're rebooting, and is in a greyscale kind of place unlike one seen before that sort of looks like its on fire. Its text is glitchy and broken and it says its link with TAL has been broken. Meanwhile Jupet says that if the puppet breaks, they won't be able to get a new one and that it can only be this one, because this is the one they chose. The shadowy one asks for Jupet and sees a pit. The hypnotists asks what Jupet wanted to do with the puppet, and Jupet says they wanted to help, but they can't remember who gave them the idea to do that.

Try Try Again: Part 3 Encore I (sigh): Jupet sees a witch

Still doing the hypnosis thing. Jupet says they're in an underground bazaar they go to with with Lily often to go see a witch.

Act ? Part I

got something on your face

The witch is Orobas with long hair and the freckles on her cheeks briefly turn into that same three line thing from the Seeds Prologue. Lily leaves Jupet alone with Orobas, which Jupet says Lily does often, but it's fine because no one ever bothers them. Orobas says she can see the future and offers to tell Jupet their fortune, but they refuse, saying they're not supposed to take anything from strangers when Lily isn't around. Orobas really wants to tell them anyway, although Jupet says their name is Azlyn, not Orobas. The art gets really weird and Jupet has the three line face now.

Take V

some of the weird forms they take are pretty hilarious if you ask me

Jupet and Orobas are in the greyscale world again, where TAL is in the back coming out of some kind of machine with a bunch of shadow people around her. Jupet and Orobas's forms keep changing and at one point Orobas kind of looks like a beholding siren, which isn't important now but keep it in mind for later. The gimmick with this is that all the text is crossed out, then the scene repeats with a few less words crossed out, until finally it reveals all the text. It counts down from Take V to Take I and it takes forever.

In Take III you can see TAL attached to an unconscious Jupet. In Take II you see TAL over all the Jupets from Beleth's dream. In Take I, it's Beleth's dream with all the Jupets again but you can't see TAL. Orobas is aghast at all the dream Jupets murdering each other while the actual Jupet is pretty flippant and unconcerned. Orobas is upset that she can't solve the problem, and Jupet says it's not her problem to solve.

The hypnotist asks Jupet what the fortune was. Jupet said it was that "strangers don't exist", which Jupet doesn't think is a fortune but Orobas disagrees. Lily comes back and they leave.

Try Try Again Part 3 Encore II: Jupet gets a ticket

Still doing the hypnosis thing. Jupet says that Lily dropped them off at their favorite comic book store and they got a comic they like (Suit Yourself, the same one Beleth was reading in Broken Toy) but it doesn't look right.

Act ? Part II

Jupet goes to see a storytelling show run by someone named Flagg. Flagg has a suggested donation thing of one dollar which confuses Jupet. They ask what happens if no one donates, and Flagg says that they'll run out of money and it'll be a lot harder to put on shows.

subscribe to my patreon

Jupet gives Flagg a dollar and they give them a ticket, which they say is theirs now and that they should hold onto it. Jupet protests that that's not what the ticket says, and Flagg says that even if Jupet's name isn't on it, if someone else picks it up, they'll know who it belongs to and will return it. Jupet continues to insist that's not what the ticket says, and Flagg just tells them to hang on to it.

Flagg starts the show with Jupet as the only audience, which is very reminiscent of the first part of this whole story. Since Jupet is the only one at the show, Flagg says they can pick the story, and offers what they say are the best ones. The three options are The Lonely Door, Island Elsewhere, and Monsters in the Dark.

Jupet asks if any are scary, and Flagg says that they aren't, traditionally, depending on what you think is scary. Jupet picks Monsters in the Dark.

Try Try Again Part 3 Encore III: Jupet sees a play

The hypnotist asks if Jupet's there and gets no response. They appear in the greyscale world where a mole with a long line running down asks for their ticket. The hypnotist doesn't have one, which makes the long mole upset. When the hypnotist asks who the mole is, it gets even MORE upset. The hypnotist asks about how to get a ticket, but the show's already started. There's a glimpse of one of the troupe members behind it, maybe Chisel, but who cares. They hypnotist asks if they can see the show anyway, and the long mole says okay but they'll owe it and that there's no going back. When the hypnotist asks what they'll owe, the mole just asks them if they're ready or not.

THE DIRECTOR PRESENTS: Act ? Part IV Prologue IV as performed by Encore (for christ's sake)

a real whiz-banger of an idea

Opens with a shot of Jupet in their outfit from the second part with the plants out the eye. Both this Jupet and the hypnotist are sitting in front of the stage. Jupet says this is where they got the idea, after the play. On stage, a Jupet actor and a Flagg actor exchange tickets. Jupet says they forgot their comic book and had to go back and get it, and Flagg reminds them not to forget their ticket. Lily and Jupet go home where Jupet reads their comic book and says they got another idea that goes with the first one. The first one was to help, and the second one was how.

gimme gimme gimme

Jupet says they have to go "nowhere" and runs towards the stage, where giant paws are stringing up the white Beleth puppet that stage Jupet is holding. The hands take hold of the Beleth doll which wakes up while the stage Jupet passes out. The stage Beleth, now alive, readies themselves to jump into a portal, while planteye Jupet says "I am going nowhere". Beleth jumps into the flower lined portal which closes behind them.

The hypnotist asks what's through the portal. "Nothing". What happened to the finger puppet? Nothing happened to it. Where is it then? It isn't. The hypnotist asks Jupet if they can take them to the finger puppet. Jupet starts getting the pen scribbles of the angel world and tells them to hurry.

I'M COMING FOR YOU

The shadowy burnt cat thing from before charges at Jupet, shouting their name, while Jupet tells the fire to hurry. The hypnotist yells at Jupet to wake up and they snap back to the real world. Jupet asks if it worked and if the hypnotist got anything, but they're too freaked out to say anything. A scribe nearby wrote down a lot of it though. Jupet asks where Lily is, and the scribe says she went to get TAL.

The hypnotist says to look at "the talisman" which looks like a ticket. It now has some of the longmole's ranting and a note to "bring your friends".

Here goes nothing

spooky

This one runs along concurrently with the next two.

Shadowy burny cat thing that has an X over the bad eye wanders around the grey scale world which is very pointy. It comes across a pit that has a lot of footsteps leading towards it. Cat thing jumps down the pit and ends up at the bottom which looks like the bottom of the pit from the other times Beleth/Jupet fell down here, but it's a lot more detailed in the greyscale world.

They go through a door into a backstage looking kind of area with movie posters with Beleth and Jupet's silhouettes crossed out. They make it to the stage where BagJupet was watching the show, and pass by a curtained door that has IV on it and a bunch of footprints in and out. On the back of the stage are five Troupe symbols, with the one for Andre broken with a hole in it. They go inside and there's a lot of weird imagery and Andre talks about how much he loves doing art. The pressure of everyone watching him gets to him though and he starts to doubt himself. Gradually he gets lost in despair and wonders if he ruined things by even trying in the first place. He can't find inspiration "here" and laments that he's letting everyone else down. There's some parallel imagery here of bagJupet which is odd.

Andre continues sliding down and says he doesn't want to paint and hates it. Shadowy catthing travels through some more weird Beleth-esque imagery to find a weird thing knocking on a floating door. The background gets colorful as Andre comes out of it.

Try Try Again Part 4 : Work in Progress

There's a bunch of weird shots of Beleth and Jupet with angel stuff on them or missing eyes and such on the walls. Andre's trying to do a painting of Beleth and all their dolls together but gets mad and smashes it.

Try Try Again Part 5a: The Writer

guess what i do

A new character named Paige shows up that looks like she has a fountain pen for a head. She narrates what they're all doing (because she's the writer see, get it) and say that Andre's calls for help summoned her over. Andre says he's suffering from artist's block and can't find any inspiration, so that's why they called Paige. Paige says that it isn't a lack of inspiration that's holding him back but the fear of what'll happen if he fails OR succeeds. There's a knock on the door and it freaks Andre out although Paige is unconcerned and says there are many doors here, and she knows where the sound's coming from. Andre grabs a painting and tells the person behind the door that the painting isn't finished yet and that they're not allowed in here, in "my creation", and that they shouldn't be anywhere. He's about to ask how the person behind the door got there, but Paige narrates that Andre already knows how and why they got there, and that both things are his fault.

note that andre's mask is cracked in half now

Paige narrates that Andre looks around the room at all his paintings, and that he painted "so many worlds" but none of them were good enough and were all failures. He was angry each time he failed, and each attempt retained a bit of that anger. Each of those bits glommed together and became "something else entirely". Paige says he should have burned the paintings, to which Andre says that they're all important and that burning them would be a crime. Each failure is a step on the stairway to perfection!

The doorknob starts to open and Andre paints over the door and it disappears. The door reappears anyway, but it has a silhouette of white Beleth on it. He's about to burn it but stops and waits for it to fully reappear. It does and the silhouette disappears and the knocking starts up again and Andre's like FINE i'll be right out >:|

don't get ink on me

Andre complains to Paige that he shouldn't have asked for her help because it never ends well for him (or anyone). Paige knows he doesn't mean it though since they're members of the, sigh, Troupe, and sometimes emotions get the better of them, and they hug in their little squiggly forms which I'll get into later. Andre apologizes and they hug again and he tells Paige to close the door behind him. He reaches for the door and it opens.

Try Try Again Part 5b: Mr. 5: Epilogue IV (SIGH)

mr 5 sucks

The thing knocking on the door is Mr. 5, he looks a bit like the angel that messed with Cress back a million years ago. Mr. 5 is surprised Andre came, and Andre says that this is his world and his creation. Mr. 5 says it's just a painting, and Andre says that it's HIS painting and he didn't put Mr. 5 here so get out. Mr. 5 says Andre drew a door and doors are for knocking on and going through and taking you different places, and Andre says not MY door get out. There's a lot of Beleth/Jupet imagery in the background during this.

Andre says the door is closed for repairs, and Mr. 5 says it isn't since it's already finished, and Andre says it ISN'T finished and that's why he had to call Paige to help him. Mr. 5 insists that Andre finished the painting and didn't have any trouble of it all, and shows a shot of a normal white Beleth and goes see look, it's right here.

Andre is a bit taken aback by this and asks if he really made it. Mr. 5 says that Andre felt so guilty about having to burn Beleth and not being able to do more, to which Andre protests and says that doesn't sound like him at all. Mr. 5 backtracks and says that's not what happened and they must have forgot. Mr. 5 says that "[Beleth wasn't] remembered" and Andre didn't paint them and Andre's like yeah I was there when I wasn't doing it it was awesome lol.

andre's the best character when glip isn't projecting all over him

Mr. 5 clarifies that Andre didn't need to paint Beleth since they died and ushered in a wave of disease and destruction, thus Andre had no time to paint, and then after everyone died he had no reason to paint. Mr. 5 asks why Andre didn't want to paint anymore and Andre says that art does not exist without an audience and it cuts to a shot of the shadowy cat thing watching them GET IT.

Mr. 5 says he remembers now and that when the world was dead, Andre tried to leave it by painting a door and going through it and now he's here. Andre says that "here" isn't anywhere, they're nowhere currently. He says that Mr. 5's memory is terrible but that his is perfect, and he asks Mr. 5 if he knows who Andre is.

Mr. 5 says that Andre is no one, that they were lost in a fire that burned down the same stage the cat thing passed by earlier. Nobody cried about Andre dying because no one knew who Andre was. Andre says nope, I'm Andrealphus the painter, I escaped the fire with plenty of time to spare. He says he remembers the smell of the smoke and the heat very clearly. He says he painted a picture of the fire that looks very realistic, and repeats several times that he is Andrealphus the painter, and he's a painter, and that's who he is (which is how to protect yourself from an angel, which was mentioned way back when).

sigh. double is making an andre copy on the left while paige writes the frame of the painting (?), chisel is opening a door, and andre is riding the music one in the real painting (?) towards the door

Mr. 5 says that he remembers now and that Andre is a painting, and when the world moved on it didn't take him with it and forgot him. Andre says nope, he moved on with the world and he's here in it and everything's fine. Mr. 5 gets angry and insists that Andre isn't real and is an illusion. He pulls a tooth out to use like a knife to which Andre's like :/ how ugly lol. Mr. 5 tries to stab Andre while saying that he was forgotten and died a long time ago and shouldn't be here, to which Andre is like WOW, coming from YOU?

This last bit is a bit hard to follow. Mr. 5 again says there was a fire, and Andre says he escaped. Mr. 5 asks him where he escaped to, and Andre says here, to which Mr. 5 says this is nowhere. After some back and forth Andre starts freaking out, and Mr. 5 says that Andre isn't here and isn't anywhere and goes to uncover something on the stage. Andre really freaks out about how he's not here and Mr. 5 is like exactly, you're nowhere, and reveals a big painting of Andre. From what I understand, I think this is a real-life painting of Andre on the walls of the house where Glip lived? You can't tell that from the art itself in the video though, I had to read that somewhere else, soooo... this reveal doesn't really work. But I'm pretty sure that's what's going on. The video ends in static and then it goes back to normal comic pages for a while.

i seriously can't tell

Mr. 5 says that he found him, and Andre in the big wall painting is like well damn, how'd you do that. Mr. 5 says they remembered the story Andre told before about escaping the fire, and says that Andre sacrificed "a sibling" to escape to safety. This sibling is either Double or Extra and I can't tell the difference because they're basically the same and WHY DO THEY EVEN EXIST UGH.

Anyway. The Andre by the door who is greyscale is revealed to be Double/Extra god, I hate these two, and talks in rhyme a bit about bluffing and trickery. They say they're both "something and nothing", to which Mr. 5 says that they escaped the fire last, bringing "nothing" with them. "Nothing" could erase the Itchy Itchy disease, so that's what they used, but it went too far. So to erase "nothing", they needed "something" - an act, a story, a place, a song, a picture - and it has shots of various little bits of Try Try Again so far so they could commemorate and remember it.

At this point, the longmole shows up to the shadowy cat thing and is like HEY you're not supposed to be in here, or anywhere. Mr. 5 continues haranguing Andre about how he couldn't accept his "vision" and that it was almost too much to bear, but it didn't matter. Longmole agrees and says that no matter how many times they try, it won't work, and they wish that they'd see that. Nothing matters since the door was still open (what door?).

Longmole says it's almost time for the last door to open. Mr. 5 says that each new ending paved the way to greater tragedy, with a shot of Median dead as the victim of a new pandemic. Longmole asks how many times its been and that they weren't done. Mr. 5 goes on about how everyone's hearts fell to despair and they couldn't remember who it was they were trying to commemorate, which tore them apart with shame.

Mr. 5, I think, at this point says how rage consumed them about there being nothing and passion got extinguished. And... I think this is Mr. 5, these pages start getting very abstract, talks about forgetting things and trying to earn their hatred, but not being able to, and how they want to rewrite his story and they shouldn't. There's a sort of vague shot of Cress reaching for her flower while Mr. 5 says he'd stolen from "you" and asks whether he should exist, then to just forget it. He says he wished there was an end and that he wanted the secret to die with him.

cress?

It then cuts to the longmole saying they have no regrets, even though it'd be easier to stop and take peace in nothingness, with the same phrasing as that dream Beleth had a long while back. Longmole says existing is hard and difficult and isn't sure why anyone bothers, but here everyone is and here shadowy cat thing is regardless.

Longmole says they wanted to give up on this world but when they look at shadowy cat thing, they remember. They remember the passion for the journey (shot of Beleth and their puppet strings), all the people they met (pictures of Amdusias and Biff and such), being honored to take part in imagination (shot of Paige), discovering their purpose (shot of Doctor Nurse finding Median unconscious), being instilled with hope for the future with (shot of Andre reaching out to the big paw from Broken Toy).

i'm sorry but this shot of jupet is hilarious

So, it turns out that Longmole is Jupet in YET ANOTHER FORM who is also Glip, who is also Beleth, and basically this whole page is a big metaphor for self-insertion and the creative process. Jupet has the three lines on their face like the Seeds Prologue again. Anyway, GodJupet apologizes for ruining their stories and worlds, and says that they get so lonely in their own world that they thought faking a ticket (REMEMBER FLAGG AND THE PLAY???) to theirs would be fun, with a shot of Beleth. Even when everyone found out they didn't belong, they still let GodJupet/Beleth/Glip pretend they did.

I've mentioned squiggly/alt forms. Troupe members have very simplified little abstract forms that appear in certain contexts, where they look like little birds or lizards, and more detailed and lifelike forms in other contexts, like Andre's normal appearance in the comic. It signifies different levels of reality, I think? All the abstract forms look similar though which is very annoying because they're already hard to tell apart.

Anyway, BelethGlipJupet cries about how it made them so happy that everyone accepted them as part of their world even though they were an outsider, and asks if it'd be okay to try again with all of them. They still don't think they deserve a second chance, but they get one anyway, and they say they're glad that they're at the end with all of them together, and they all go through a door that has rainbow colors inside. Also the shadowy cat thing is just a normal looking cat thing now. THE END!!???

Cast Roll

A cast page for Try Try Again which is goddamn incomprehensible much like everything to do with the Troupe, the most irritating group of pretentious fourth wall breakers you can imagine. Anyway. They're just embodiments of various creative processes.

Longmole is actually called Doublemole, or the Director. Person who puts everything all together in the right place. Glip.

Encore. Want to see the same scene over again but slightly different? I guess that's what Encore does. Who cares.

Masked Sun, with the subtitle of Eternal Optimist. Masked Sun is one of Glip's personas in the comic so... I wonder if anyone's made a bingo game with how many characters in Floraverse are Glip self-inserts.

Speckle, the abstract creator. This is the mole with the buckets who threw paint everywhere in that dream of Beleth's. They're coloring I guess. Andre's a painter and the artist, obviously.

Sample and DJ Birdie, the two things for music. Sample's the pointy thing that showed up in Amdusias's thing in Before You Know It.

Marble is "a hands on learner" and I don't actually know what they do. Chisel is " the sculptor" and makes stuff I guess, like objects and props. Chisel looks kind of like a spider.

Double and Extra, the role-player and the improv artist respectively. I hate them. They double people for the sheer purpose of being as confusing as possible. Someone acting weird? Someone die? Something off? Haha maybe it's Double/Extra! Maybe it isn't! They look exactly like the original character so you can't tell them apart! Maybe that twist doesn't even matter because Double/Extra did it actually!! God I hate them. For the record Double looks like a big lizard spraying ink everywhere and Extra is a worm with x eyes. They played the roles of the stage Beleth and Jupet in the show that they put on for bagJupet in the first part.

Paige is the "alternate" author and the writing process, obviously. There's another one called Nemo who's "the dreamer" and I don't know what they do, beta-read or something I guess.

don't let me (the author) forget the troupe (aspects of the author), reborn husk of TAL god computer that was the vessel for beleth (the author) and now is a another vessel of the author that supervises the others (aspects of the author)? Jupet and the normal cat thing are on the last page holding hands, with Jupet saying "Don't let me forget!" to cat thing and it saying "I won't!" in return. Their captions are "Inadvertant Avatar, Jupet" and "Ghost in the Machine, The Assembly Line" (get it, T A L, GET IT). The last shot is of Mr. 5, known as the Perpetual Paramnesiac, who says "you didn't wait for me".

And that's it. That's the end of Try Try Again. Did any of that make sense? No? Get used to it. It's just going to get worse.

#floraverse

1 note · View note

emeraldbabygirl · 2 years ago

Text

Just watched the behind filming for My Treasure. My heart 🥺 those boys worked so hard to film that I’m in awe tbh. Not only was the weather hot, Erwin said it was hotter than when they filmed for Lolay (plus they were near and around water for that plus a storm happened), but Nice hurt his ankle :( AND HE INSISTED THAT HE COULD STILL DANCE LIKE THREE MORE TIMES AND THE STAFF WERE LITERALLY SO KIND AND CARING IVE NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE. Kitty said that he shouldn’t dance anymore cause his ankle was hurt but he wasn’t centered like he wanted to be and the staff were like “are you sure?” And they were asking if he was okay and they were like “what percent?” And Nice was like “100” and then he fell :( but the members came to him and helped him up and he looked so sad. He worked his ass of for that move that was insane. Cause he wanted to land and keep dancing and he aced it but then the second time when they filmed at night that’s when he hurt himself but lord how caring the staff were I’m impressed and touched.

Kitty herself is an amazing choreographer and she had so many good words to say about how the boys improved and everything it was so cute and wholesome. And the director was kind with them too and it was funny when interviewing the stylist he said while looking for cowboy type clothing that they could wear in the heat, he wanted leather and suede, and his inspo pics he had two pics of Johnny dressed as a cowboy I was surprised when I saw it I couldn’t stop laughing. The actress is actually an upcoming artist under xoxo entertainment tho and she was so sweet and encouraging towards them and they were kind and promoted her and just really sweet Muon is a catch constantly asking if she’s alright while she’s on the horse, what a gentleman. Every interaction the members have with the lead female role in their mvs are so cute and wholesome and respectful. It’s so refreshing to see.

As far as the styling POOM REALLY SAID IT WAS LIKE A MORE UP TO DATE AND BETTER WESTERN STYLE LIKE POOM THEM COWBOYS BACK IN THE DAY WORE ASSLESS CHAPS WHERE WERE YOURS? Lmao. He came out with leather shorts and cowboy boots. The styling I love, Tad and Erwin and Nice had such pretty bolo ties, Tad’s lace white shirt and long leather jacket looked amazing on him. I love Nice and his cute shirt with the Thunderbird on it and the lil tassels. His cute hair and his lil braids on the end of his mullet and when they joked about him being the lead female. I loved the part where Junior and Nice are filming with the horses, Fah Mai and Wanda <3 Nice was so nervous with Wanda but he was so cute with her and Fah Mai kept eating his jacket and his braids it was so cute they did so well tho I loved watching it all come together, especially it literally being Nice’s idea for the jump and then getting right back into dancing and he nailed it that was so satisfying to see.

A cute moment that I really liked, and I’d heard it before and it was great to hear the story again was Nice’s story about the scientist and the frog. I was actually surprised when he brought it up cause I hadn’t heard it since like middle school or something and it was nice (lol) to hear it again. (Tbh I didn’t think anyone else knew about it) And I saw Tad tummy! It was so cute. But it was so hot out, they were given fans and water and all that stuff, the staff really takes care of them plus they know how to make the editing funny I appreciate them. The editing staff btw reminds me of kithewhale :( anyway thank the staff and director and choreographer esp for just being great people I hope that continues and I hope nothing sus is going on behind the scenes cause they all seem so sweet and caring and I just would love that for them and would hate to find out if they were being abuse like kpop companies :(

OH! And in the very beginning Jet was like “it’s too early to film” and Erwin comes in carrying a Husky puppy and Jet just melts it’s so cute they were so precious playing with the puppy assaying things like “are huskies’ eyes normally blue?” “Are you wearing contacts?” “He looks like you” (referring to Erwin) it was cute. I recommend watching it. I also recommend Atlas in general their shows, Atlas but not Least and Atlas at Play are so funny and entertaining and they get to go to different festivals and interact with other Thai artists and their songs, (I’ve only heard their title tracks tho Idk what their other songs are if any) but they’re so good.

0 notes

justcallmenikki7 · 4 years ago

Text

BTS Reaction To: Feeling Unworthy To Being His S/O

Hyung!Line & Mafia!Au summary: a rookie makes a comment about you being his wife, and it is not a positive one warnings: mafia!au, mentions of killing and drugs, insecure reader and hoseok in his part, crying from reader and yoongi, soft!yoongi, mentions of depression and depressed reader in namjoons part, soft!bts, fluffff, mentions of abusive family (reader being abused in the mentions mentally), scared hoseok, bts being soft for you and only you, rude rookies/newbie, comments about hating self and body. Mainly anything that has to deal with anxiety, depression, and self hate. This is a different type of mafia reaction I feel like w.c.: 2.3k notes: namjoons part was pretty personal to me and so it may hit home to some. Btw, I know it has taken me a while to post, but ive been trying to find my touch still, but please be patient with me!! School is starting up again next week, so I will be busy with it and with work too. Good news is that I finally found my writing self again!

Kim Seokjin

Am I being dramatic?

That was the first question that popped through your head when the newbie made the comment about your ability to have authority over him and group of others. Saying how you have no skill to be in your position, which is standing right next to your husband, Kim Seokjin, the deadliest mafia boss in the world.

From the beginning of your relationship with Seokjin, you have always felt inferior and unsure of yourself, especially lately when you guys got married. You took the position of being the ‘second in command’ even though his right-hand man, Kim Namjoon, is his go to. If anything, ever happened to Seokjin, he made sure you were the one to take over his business with the help of Namjoon. Before the marriage, Seokjin obviously asked you to which you agreed immediately – thinking that everyone in Seokjin’s gang was going to want this since they knew that you were his fiancée (at the time) and understand why you were getting the position. When Namjoon was told this, you began to apologize because you believe that he deserves the title because of how long Namjoon has been by your husband’s side. But those worries shut away when Namjoon smiled at you as he pulled you into a hug, congratulating you. In the back of your mind, you still believe that Namjoon deserves your position, but the constant reassurance from both Namjoon and Seokjin’s five other close friends, you felt confident. You knew a lot of the ins and outs of the job, thanks to being with Seokjin for almost seven years now, but sometimes you felt as if you did not deserve the position.

The one thing that fueled that thought was the newbie’s comment.

“No offense, noona, but you don’t necessarily have the skill for this job. It is more of, you know, a man’s job.”

In a way, you believed that he was right. You believed that you did not have any power in this position, having no say, thinking that all of the members will believe you are just joking by ordering them around. This comment took a mental toll on you, causing you to lock yourself in your shared bedroom with your husband, hiding underneath the comfort of your blanks, staring blankly at the wall. This is where your husband found you, a concerned look on his face as he sped walked to your side.

“Sweetheart, what is wrong?” He asked in a calm, comforting voice, an action that had you crying.

The first that went through Seokjin’s head was to comfort you but the second one was to find the bastard or bitch that hurt you and to kill them.

“I don’t deserve the position in your gang, Jin. I’m not fit for it, or even to be your wife. Namjoon deserved the title of your secondhand man. The newbie is right, this is a man’s job—” you were cut off by your husbands hand covering your mouth.

“Who told you this.”

“The newbie, Soojin.” You said, not realizing that you were signing the document of his termination. It only clicked when Seokjin stood up, a dark look on his face as he made his way to your guys closet, grabbing his favorite gun.

Knowing that there was no way of stopping your husband from killing the newbie as he gave you a kiss on your lips, rubbing his nose against yours in sentimental way that always brings a smile to your face. “I’ll be back later, sweetheart.”

Min Yoongi:

Yoongi could see the stressed out look on your face as you made your way into his office. He wanted to comment on it, wanting to know what is wrong with his usual ball of sunshine girlfriend, but he did not. Allowing you to push his chair back so you can climb into his lap, seeking the comfort of his presence and the touch of his skin, he did not mention the tears welling up in your eyes or the wobble of your lip, a tale tell sign of you about to cry. Holding you closely as you silently cried, he massaged your scalp, a comforting form of affection that you love, he wanted to ask you what is wrong, but he only kissed the crown of your head, silently telling you that it is okay to cry.

“Am I worthy to be your girlfriend?” you asked silently, voiced kind of muffled by his undershirt. Fidgeting with his flannel, you braced yourself for the about to come anger from your boyfriend.

“What kind of stupid question is that?” Yoongi gritted out, holding you closer, if possible, to help calm down his anger.

“A question that someone made me think…” not wanting to say names because you did not want to be the reason for someone’s possible death. You knew in the back of your mind that Yoongi will make you say the name of the person who has been causing you distress for the past four days, but you did not want to seem weak and allow them to win in this mental game.

“What made you think this?”

Not being able to lie and play around, you began to ramble. “I don’t know their name since they started a few days ago, but they pointed out that I am just in your way. I am not worthy to be your girlfriend because I am weak, which I am. I am not made to be your girlfriend—”

“Now that is a load of bullshit, Jagi. You are my girlfriend, the love of my life. I love you because you make me feel human and feel so fucking loved. You made me see that there is good in this life – happiness even. You are my home. I do not care that you are not, in your words, ‘weak’ because you choose, along with my authority, to not get in the middle of this gang life. I do whatever I can to protect, and if that means hiding you from danger, then I will. But you are worthy, so worthy. I still question how I am even worthy to be your boyfriend and have the ability to love you and you love me.”

At the end of his speech, both you and Yoongi are in tears. The one thing that both you and Yoongi share is the insecurity of not being loved. But what the most beautiful thing that came out of this relationship is the ability to love yourselves and love each other. So, this topic is what makes you guys emotional – scared even. Scared that you both will lose each other and scared that you guys are not enough. It had been rocky in the beginning but seeing how far you both have came and grew is what made it worth it.

The anger and the want to kill whoever made you think this is what fueled the deadly thoughts in Yoongi’s head. You knew this because you can read Yoongi like a book. Looking down at you, silently asking you if he can feed his hunger, you nodded your head. Yoongi knows that you hate violence, but looking from his perspective, you would do the same thing.

Jung Hoseok

Jung Hoseok is a very observant person, has been since the day he was born. This is what makes him a dangerous person, especially in the mafia world because of how he can easily tell when someone is becoming a traitor or is lying to him.

That is why it is hard to lie to him because of how easily he can pick up your lies. You rarely lied to him, but when you did, he knows that something is wrong. So, for the past few weeks, he can tell that you have became more distant from him, mainly more unsure of yourself. He does not like pestering you about things, opting for you to come to him when you are comfortable enough. Being a person who hates conflict – mainly confrontation – he understands how hard it is for you due to your anxiety.

But he could not take it anymore. Hoseok misses you so much. How can you miss someone when they are right there in front of you?

That is why you are now cornered in his office, both hands beside your head, body pressed against the wall. You could see the conflict in your boyfriend’s eyes, a look that is rarely there because he is always sure of himself. Sure about the situation. But right now, the mafia boss is anything but sure.

“What did I do to make you not love me anymore?”

Looking at him confusedly, “what?”

“You’re distant. You don’t kiss me good morning anymore or even let me hold you at night. What did I do, Jagi?”

“Hope, I’m so sorry. I did not mean for this, for you to feel like this. I’ve been distancing myself because of how I realized that maybe I’m not exactly the type of girlfriend you need, especially in this lifestyle. I’m not strong, or athletic, or just what you need. I realized this when one of your dealers pointed it out when—”

“Why are you listening to what other’s say, Jagi? You do not need their approval for your choices on who you are with. If we are happy, then we are happy. We, you, do not need to make others happy. Making yourself happy is what is important. You are allowing someone who does not even know you decide on your happiness, especially someone who does not even know how to spell.”

“Wait, Jungsoo does not know how to spell?” You asked, going off topic, something that you do not realize a lot, a trait of yours that Hoseok loves about you. He knows that when you do this during serious conversations is when you grasp the situation and what he said.

Chuckling, “yeah, he is a lost cause. Fortunately, Yoongi will be able to test the new drugs he made on him.” Slapping his chest at that, you knew that he was going to get rid of him. “But Jagi, I am serious. I know you have a hard time with listening to people’s opinions, especially when it involves you. But what I have been saying from the moment I realized that I loved you, I do not care whether you are what this peasant considers to be ‘fit’ for my position in the mafia world. I love you for you.”

Grabbing him by his collar, you pull him down to you, smiling like a little schoolgirl, you kissed him.

Kim Namjoon

Namjoon wanted to kill the rookie right then and there. But he could not because of how they are at an important meeting with two other gangs. When the rookie made the underlying comment towards you about your appearance, Namjoon could see the light in your eyes diminish slowly. Shoulders slacking and your body caving in on itself, the sight of seeing your happiness disappear in an instant by an opinion (which is completely false and impossible to be found in any way true), is what made Namjoon feel as if he had not accomplished anything.

You struggle greatly with loving yourself and being happy with yourself. You know that you need to, but from the very first day you were born, your parents made you believe that you are unwanted and not even close to being beautiful. Having an older sister that you were compared to with everything and anything, you were always the one losing while she was winning. Nothing that you did was ever good enough. This had turned you into believing that you were not even good enough. You depend on people’s approval for everything – even if you do not even know them because of the abuse and lies (that you feel as if they are true), you believe that what people think of you is what makes you worthy.

But when you met Namjoon, things started to change. He began to show you how beautiful you are, how worthy and loved you are. It has been a very painful process, but you have gotten better. Yes, you get into a depression and deep rut that takes you forever to get out of. But, with the help from your boyfriend, you get out of it. Even if it means him having to literally drag you out of bed and into the bathroom to brush your teeth and help brush your hair, it helps.

It is just that you never know what a trigger to you will be. As of right now, with the rookies comment repeating in your head.

Realizing the train of thought you began to get, Namjoon pulled out his pistol and shot the rookie right in the head. Grabbing your hand, he excused the both of you and took you into the bathroom.

“Breath, baby, breath.” He cooed, hugging you close to him, kissing the top of your head. “You are so strong, baby. So strong, so beautiful, so perfect.” He whispered in your ear, rubbing circles on your lower back. “It’s okay, you’re okay.”

“But I allowed—”

“No, no. Let’s not go there, okay? It’s okay to fall sometimes, but remember that we always have to pick ourselves up from where we left off. We can do this, you can do this. You are so strong, my queen. So strong and so beautiful. I love you so much.”

“I love you so much,” you promised back, sniffling. “Please don’t give up on me. I’m trying my hardest.” You begged, grasping his suit jacket tightly in your hands, scared that he will leave you.

“Never.”

778 notes · View notes

starglow-xx · 4 years ago

Text

comfort hugs

nakajima atsushi x reader

fandom: bungou stray dogs

content: fluff, comfort

type of work: head canons

synopsis: it's hard when you're not feeling your best, but luckily, your boyfriend always has his arms open for you

author’s note: ive been feeling kinda demotivated and like sad/stressed abt everything lately so i just wanted to write some self-indulgent stuf

i hope you enjoy this!

and btw this is gender neutral :D

you told him once that his hugs make you feel better when you’re sad or stressed and since then he has not once failed to engulf you into his arms whenever you needed it

he loves you sm

it hurts him when he knows you're feeling stressed out or sad

hurts him more when you wont tell him bc you don't want to worry him and when he has to go to work when he knows you want some company

when he can, he'll take the day off and just stay with you

you want him to stay with you in bed under the sheets until noon? no problem, he's all yours

you wanna sit in his lap with his arms around your waist as you try to finish your work bc you have like a million deadlines to meet? he’ll have his face buried in your neck occasionally kissing it and whispering soft nothings

you want to lay on top of him on couch? sure, he'll make sure a movie is playing in the background

you wanna just lay in his lap and procrastinate on the 1389024+ things you have to do bc you need a break? he’ll comb his fingers through your hair and if it’s long enough, he’ll braid it, if not, he’ll put cute hair clips

you just want to stay in his arms all day on the couch or bed and do absolutely nothing? again, no problem, it's his favorite thing

it makes him feel like he can protect you and keep you safe

now by any chance he can’t take the day off bc oh no kunikida might actually kill him, he’ll wake up early to just to make sure he can pull you even closer to him in the morning

on those days, he’ll even try to come home early but tbh no promises bc dazai-san

yeah that’s the reason

bc dazai-san

i recommend finding an atsushi bc please he’s adorable there are so many ways he can have you in between his arms and the two of you love it

sometimes you’ll sit in his lap with your legs wrapped around his waist and cling onto him like a koala

or there’s also when you’re lying on top of him listening to his heartbeat as he kisses your forehead

^^ one of your favorite “hugging positions” bc it soothes you knowing that your boyfriend is still here with you bc you know his work can be dangerous

there’s also the times where right after he comes home from work, you’re standing by the door and he’ll drop everything and the two of you just stand there holding each other for the next 20 minutes before just heading to the bedroom or couch and cuddling there for the next couple something hours

^^ one of his favorite “hugging positions” bc not only do you get to relax and feel better, he also gets to relax and feel better bc work at the ada is emotionally and physically straining

and besides

pass up a chance to have you close to him? yeah no way fat chance of that happening

naps also often happen when it’s cuddle time <33

but eventually, the two of you get hungry so whoever is cooking, the other just comes up and hugs them from behind

adjkalsdh i feel so touch starved writing this

ANYWAYS

all of this is in the privacy of your shared apartment

if the two of you are in public or if you’re visiting at the ada and it’s really obvious to your boyfriend you’re in need of a hug at that moment, he’ll stop whatever he’s doing whether it be talking or doing dazai’s paperwork to wrap his arms around you for a quick, soothing, warm hug and kiss your forehead

it’s the same thing the other way around too

if you notice that atsushi is looking back on some painful memories or just not having the best day, you don’t hesitate to hug him bc you’re boyfriend needs comfort too and you’re 100000% willing to give it

if it was a flashback to the orphanage or him just feeling insecure or worthless, his grip around you is always tighter than usual

the two of you can be shy when it comes asking or giving what the two of you had deemed “comfort hugs” in public, but the both of you will always overcome the beginning embarrassment and shyness to put each other’s needs first

a/n: these are shorter than what i usually write but then again, the idea to write this was spontaneous

also

it’s like 2 in the morning

anywho as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

189 notes · View notes

lunartearrose · 3 years ago

Text

So ive got an idea for a self-made bonus chapter! It involves rider, the s4 and some lore i have for him and his relations to them

Gonna put a cut since it miiight get lengthy, but this is the idea for it!

Btw, theres a certain headcannon of mine that goes with this, and its used in a fic i made! I'll link it down in the replies. It's not necessary, but you can read it to get a better idea of the tension that goes on in this idea!

So its post octo expansion arc, pre ranked arc. Army isn't bee hurt yet and Rider has just come back to the turf scene with yg team. When the s4 show up at the square individually with their teams, they notice a lot of whispers about Rider going around. Nothing that tells directly what's going on, but he will be having a team fight against some newbies later, so the s4 decide they'd sit in to see what's going on with him. The most they bet is that he's got a new trick up his sleeve!

Cut to a turf battle between team hachi and yg team, and the s4 are all shocked to see that rider has a pretty gnarly injury, the sanitizer scar. At the stage they see him, it's barely healed and he's playing more backline than up front, and his aim is most certainly not at it's usual sharpness (tho this aim is only noticable to their trained eyes, most would barely pick this up.) He might even be blind on that side now, but none of them can tell for sure.

Army, aloha, and mask, having previous history with rider, go and try to confront rider about his injuries on their own terms, which he, still rightfully mad about what they did to him, refuses to elaborate on. They pester until the three end up pestering together, then subsequently get yelled at by rider, and told along the lines of "why the hell should any of you care anyways?! Be glad one of your rivals got a handicap!" And tries to leave after that.

But of course the three still follow, having not been told and still concerned for him, especially since the tips of his tentacles are starting to turn the color of his wound. They end up trailing him to a stage not in rotation (maybe even a fest stage) and that's when Rider’s upset enough for something strange to happen - the wound glows and a special immediately ignites from the stress he feels.

"You want to know what happened to me so bad? Fine!"

And this is when the three suddenly find themselves engaging in an inner agent 3 esque battle, Rider’s limit with specials still not fixed. The three just barely dodge his splashdown, and his flings with a hero roller are faster than even mask can swing a carbon roller, not to mention if anybody tries to hit him he's rolling out of the way with a speed hard for even aloha to match.

What's clear to them now is that rider has very much never gotten over the hurtful things they said when their relationship as a team had been ended, and whatever is happening with him now is not helping those feelings! They try to stop him, and survive an inkjet phase, but army is taken out by bomb rush, mask is taken out by bubbles, and Aloha, who coincidentally was the closest to rider (and worst to rider at the time, who's words cut him the deepest), is left desparately dodging the consecutive splashdowns.

The other two had tried to apologize, and that was when they got got, and as aloha dodges he can no longer hold up a cool boy facade and is forced to confess that he had always regretted what he said back then; that he hated how he ended up hurting him and always wished things could go back to how they were, just healthier this time.

Aloha then survives a dead hit splashdown by using his baller, and grabs onto rider in an attempt to make him stop. He does stall for this moment, seeming to listen to aloha for a moment.

After that, a sniper shot hits rider in the face and it's enough to put a stop to the rampage. Skull's here, and he comments that it looked like they needed help - he was here the whole time, he just needed a good opportunity to get a direct hit and didn't want to get involved in being chased with specials.

Despite this, as army and mask get up from being knocked out and aloha carries rider, Skull explains he asked hachi about rider on a hunch and learned what happened in the deep sea, and that the wound is fresh and bothers him still. Oh, and he put salt water in that snipe shot because he remembers that was an old remedy avi's mom used to use for washing dirt out of scrapes, and figured it might do something to help.

The three thank skull for the save and get rider to his house, making sure he gets some proper rest while skull continues to use that remedy to attempt to fix Rider’s wound (and it does a good deal of help, actually! The sanitizer retreats more towards his eye.)

And of course, when rider wakes he and his old teammates have a proper discussion relating to what happened, and somewhat mend things back on good terms whilst aloha does some minor fixing of his gal, because that also barely survived the fight. He gets sad over his busted keychain that suffered that last splashdown, and rider offers to fix it (meaning he had glue) but that's how aloha convinces him to do the wahoo world thing. So yeah! Thats how you get costume arc.

Of course, they all are a bit different from their old selves, bur things are looking up and everyone's happier with being on better terms than before.

Hope you enjoyed this rant!

#coroika #splatoon #rider kun #s4 #s4 army #s4 aloha #s4 mask #s4 skull #writing #idea

21 notes · View notes

oppatxtme · 4 years ago

Text

Christian Yu: The Eve

x Christian Yu x

Note: Read at Your Own Risk ~~ (ง⌐□ل͜□)ง Type: One Shot [ masterlist ]

A/N: This is a request from an Annon. I know it took a while but hope y’all like it. BTW. Happy New Year friends! ♥

-----

'Is she not coming to work?'

"Hey, Scott!" Christian called his friend when he saw him walked past his door from the hall.

Scott walked and stop to peek at Christian's studio.

"What's up?" he asked while still looking at his phone.

"How's the photoshoot yesterday?" Christian asked about the shoot scheduled for Live and you are one of the editors.

"It went according to our theme. But it lasted longer than expected because it suddenly snowed a little during the shoot." Scott explained. "Why?" he managed to look away from his phone screen and look at Christian.

"Oh, so, what time did you guys finish?" Christian asked not answering Scott's question.

"Maybe around 3 am," Scott answered. He decided to sit on the sofa inside Christian's studio - thinking that this might take a while. He knew Christian and asking questions without answering his - only means that somethings going on.

"I see. So I guess most of the crew will not be coming today since you guys finished late." Christian said while taking a spin at his chair.

"Not really. I think they'll be here doing the edit and all." Scott said still looking at Christian.

Christian tried to avoid Scott's gaze.

"Really? So maybe I can take a look at the scene later with Y/N." Christian said and turn his back from Scott to face his monitor.

'Smooth.' Scott thought and can't help but smirked at his friend's childish game. He's avoiding directly asking about Y/N because of the drunk accident happening before.

*** 3 weeks ago, the crew decided to go out for a dinner then drink after to celebrate Christian's debut. But just as everyone getting ready to go home. You're so wasted that you confessed to Christian without minding the few people remaining outside the pub.

All were shocked because they didn't expect you to confess at all. All of them have an idea that you have feelings for Christian for years - but Christian's so dense and treat you as a little sister at that time. He did not expect it and he was so dumbfounded that he laughed it out and saying that he only sees you as his lil'sister.

"Thank you, Y/N - but you're my little sister that I never had. I'm sorry." Christian said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Yes, you were drunk at that time. And you wished you forgot everything that had happened to that point. But it was impossible. Now you know that it was all a lie when people said they forget everything that happened to them when they're wasted. LIES!

But even if you remembered everything - you acted that you forgot about it. It was not like you, but being rejected face to face - it fvcking hurts!

You can't afford to lose your dream job just because of your drunken mistake.

You acted that everything is good between you and Christian - but it is noticeable that you're putting a distance between the two of you.

****

"I think you can check the raw ones with her assistant later." Scott get up from the sofa and was about to leave.

"Huh? Why her assistant? Where's Y/N?"

"She's taking a rest for the day. I think she catches a cold during the shoot. I'm planning to check on her later. We know how she can be when it snows. You're welcome to join me if you want." Scott dropped a teasing tone towards Christian.

"Ah. Okay. Just call me when you're going." Christian said not noticing Scott's teasing.

----

Christian can't focus on his work. He keeps ending up thinking about you.

He looked at his phone - checking if Scott text him about going to your place but he sighed when he sees nothing.

He can already admit that this is not like him at all. He told you that he only sees you as a friend - he even regards you as his little sister. But something inside him disagree.

'Do I like-love her?' Christian questioned himself. But it was cut-off when his phone rang.

It was from Scott.

"Hey. Wait a sec - I'll just save my files." Christian said right after answering.

"About that, I can't go to Y/N right now. Mr. Ahn called and requesting a meeting with Dabin." Scott said.

"Did you call Y/N?" Christian asked.

"Not yet. I tried calling to see if she's alright but she's not answering. Maybe she's just sleeping. We can visit her later - after work."

"No. I can check her now since I already shut down my PC." Christian said as he walked out from his studio.

Scott smirked because he knew well that Christian never shutdown his PC at his studio.

"Okay. Call me when you get there." Scott ended the call.

---

You were dreaming about someone was knocking at your door and keep pressing the doorbell. The doorbell gets louder every time that it woke you up.

Then you realized that it was not a dream but someone really is knocking at your door.

'Maybe it's Scott. He did mention that he will drop by'. You thought as you tried your best to get up.

You opened the door.

"Are you planning on breaking my door Sco-C-Christian! How..?" you can feel your face burning up.

"I came instead of Scott," he said avoiding your eyes.

"I see," you said. Both of you just standing there between the door. 'Okay, this is awkward'.

"Are you okay...?" Christian asked and managed to meet your eyes.

It's hard for you to stop the cough because your throat is just itching.

"I'm okay now, so you don't have to..." you looked down. Not really wanting for Christian to see you at this state. But suddenly your vision got dizzy and that made you lean forward.

Christian caught you.

"You're not okay at all." He said.

You can't tell if he's mad or worried. He guided you to your bed. And you keep coughing all the time. You want to stop so he can't see but it's really not that easy.

'I'm here now, but I don't know what to do for her. I can feel that Y/N doesn't like me here, I'm sure this situation is stressful for her'. Christian thought. 'I guess I need to try and help her feel better...'

"Did you already eat something?" Christian asked you while you're fixing the pillow at your back to sit properly.

"No," you said.

"Good thing I brought rice porridge. Eat this, then take the medicine." He said while taking out the porridge from the paper bag he had.

"I'm fine." you insisted. You just want him to leave and you can sleep. But for some god's play - your tummy decided to protest.

"Just eat." Christian tried his best to not laugh. He handed you the container for the porridge.

"Okay..." you said helplessly.

---

"Thank you for the porridge..." you said as Christian took the container from your hand.

"Now take the medicine, and go to the hospital tomorrow for an IV drip." He said as he hands you a glass of water.

"A-*cough* cold like this will be over once I slept on it. I don't have to go." you took meds and the glass of water.

"You're not going to go? When you're this sick?" Now he really sounded worried.

"I'm really all right, Christian... You can go now..." you insist as you tried to put the glass on your side table but he stops you and leans forward to get the glass from your hand. And put his hand at your forehead. You automatically closed your eyes when you felt the warmth from his hand.

"No way. At your condition right now..." Christian said. "You're burning up..." he was shocked because he was not expecting you to be this sick.

"I'm fine..." you opened your eyes. Then there you realize how you and Christian's face is so close. You can't help but blush.

Christian realizes the situation and immediately put away his hand from your forehead. "J-just go to the hospital. Darn it!"

You can't help but smile a little. You find him cute.

Christian stands up. "Try to lie back down. I'll go get a wet towel for you."

"Okay..." you said. You guess that it's no use arguing with him. As you lie down. You can't help close your eyes as you tremble. "Ugh... it's cold..."

"You're cold?" Christian saw you.

You opened your eyes and he was standing at the end of your bed. You got up.

"Just a little... I just need to put more clothes on." You said as you tried to get off the bed and walk to your closet.

"No." Christian stopped you from getting up. "You have to bring your fever down. All you need is to change into a T-shirt and shorts instead. Wait. I'll get that for you."

"Huh? W-what?"

Christian walked towards your closet and as if he owns it, he easily finds your clothes and throws it at you.

"I'm turning the light out." and he did turn off the lights.

You have no choice but change. You felt that your clothes already wet from your sweat. When you finished changing, Christian sit beside your bed and gently put the wet towel on your forehead.

"Ian, you should really go now..." you said in between your coughs.

'How can I go when you're like this?' Christian thought as he looked at you.

You felt him get up. You closed your eyes. 'Finally, he's leaving.' you thought.

Christian sighed.

"Move over a bit." you heard him.

You opened your eyes not really understood what he said. But the next thing you know that Christian slip his body beside you - in the bed. Your body automatically moved from the side to give him space.

Now Christian is hugging you from the back. If the two of you are dating - then this might be normal - cuddling you as you're feeling cold. But the two of you are way far from dating!

'Shit! What is he doing! What is he thinking?! I don't know if this will help me or it will make it worse.' You can't help but worry. You need to calm down because you're not sure if Christian can feel how your heartbeat is running wild.

"You'll be less cold like this," Christian said. Every word he said, you can feel the warmth of his breath from the side of your ear.

"C-Chris-tian... you don't really have to-"

"Just stay still. I'll leave once you fall asleep." Christian said firmly. "You'll be asleep soon since you took the medicine."

'How in God's way can I be still in this situation?! God-someone please save me!'

"Y/N. Close your eyes and go to sleep," Christian said.

You closed your eyes. But really not know how you can fall asleep with the fact that you can feel his body heat.

You don't know if it's the fever or because of him, but you feel dizzy and your mind is a mess.

But one thing is clear.

Your heart is beating so fast and the warmth from Christian's arms that you don't feel cold anymore.

You tried to close off your heart - as best as you could. But Christian's warmth is slowly melting down the walls you barely created.

"Christian Yu... why are you doing all this for me? It's like... as if you love me... How can I push you away if you're going to be like this?" you froze when you realized that you voice out your thoughts.

Christian's arms around your waist tighten.

"You're right," Christian said as he leans closer that you can feel his breath from your right ear. "I do love you and I was a fool when I denied that fact - something that obvious. I know for a long time that I treated you differently from anyone else. I'm sorry if I pretend and fight what I was feeling just because I don't want to admit that what I said before was wrong."

You tried to move to face him but Christian stopped you and buried his head between your neck. He also holds your hand and tightens his embrace.

"Please. Let me hold you like this as you fall asleep. I promise I will leave as soon as your temperature goes down."

You said nothing and just pulled him closer to you.

'I think this is a good reason to love the snow season.' You slept smiling while at Christian's embrace.

---

[ masterlist ]

168 notes · View notes

lunarmessenger · 4 years ago

Note

before anything else let me just say that i love all your content and im so glad that i found your blog!! okay now that ive already made myself sound like a fool would it be possible to get the rfa with an MC who confesses that she was sexually abused as a kid? (i totally get it if youre not comfortable with it btw)

Hi honey! Thank you so much for enjoying my content ^^ (also, u do not sound like a fool hush IT) that’s totally fine, I don’t mind your request :) - luna xx

DISCLAIMER: This is going to be heavy. If you are not prepared for that or in the right mindset for this particular request, I suggest preparing yourself, or just not reading it all together. I will be hiding the entire post underneath a cut in case somebody doesn’t bother to read my warnings. I, thankfully, have never been sexually abused as a child, but I know too many people who have been. I am so sorry to those who have had to go through this, and remember, you are never alone. I love you. - luna xx

Warnings: mentions of child sexual abuse, sexual situations, and trauma

MC Was Sexually Abused as a Child - RFA

Zen:

• You didn’t want him to find out because you were scared he’d think you were dirty or disgusting

• And the way he found out too; it was just so out of the ordinary

• You were backstage at one of his shows and after his performance he’d grabbed you and hurriedly shoved you into one of the storage closets

• He wasn’t trying to be sexual he just wanted a few minutes alone with you to celebrate in private since he knew you’d both be swamped by fans; the poor man was thinking really, wasn’t paying attention

• So when he finally realizes how you’re shaking, knees threatening to buckle as you held your hands over your chest while looking down

• “MC? Princess what’s the matter; is something wrong? Talk to me.”

• You were all too familiar with dimly lit storage closets; your abuser had taken you there for years when you had your music lessons

• When you finally explain to him what was wrong through your tears, he is so...angry

• Words cannot express how he wants to go back in time and strangle the person who did that to you

• He at first through you were hesitant to be intimate because you didn’t have much experience

• While that was part of it, it was so much deeper than that, much more sinister; that he just wasn’t expecting it

• “They just...it was every single lesson Zen. And I wondered; had I done something wrong? Something to make me stand out to them? I just don’t understand...” You were still shaking, voice quivering

• He stood there, fists clenched as he tried to take deep breaths to calm himself down; enough so that he could prioritize what really mattered. You.

•“It was not your fault MC. Remember that. That person was a sick fuck for doing that to you, and I am so sorry that you didn’t get the proper support you needed. It’s okay; we can get through this together.”

Yoosung

• The two of you were cooking together, the front of you facing the oven as you stirred the vegetables in the frying pan

• Then he suddenly came up behind you, hands stopping at your waist as he whispered in your ear

• “My precious MC, I love you so much.”

• You were no longer in the kitchen with Yoosung; you were in your living room, your parents outside with your aunts and uncles as your cousin played with you; alone

• “Here MC, just turn and bend over; we’re going to play house. Yeah, that’s it...”

• “Please don’t...” You whimpered, your voice barely above a whisper as you struggled to pull yourself out of the traumatic memory

• “MC? Oh no, MC! Are you okay? Honey look at me...”

• He had turned off the stove and carried you to the bedroom, placing you on the bed while he knelt down on the floor

When you’d calmed yourself down you told him what had happened between you and your cousin; and why you no longer speak to that side of your family.

• He was absolutely disgusted; how could someone do that to their own family?

• The thought of even trying to do that to Rika; it made him want to gag

• “I wish I was...I wish I could have...oh, God. I’m sorry MC, I’m sorry...”

Jaehee

• You were at a bar, enjoying a few drinks together after a long day of work

• “I have to use the restroom; I’ll be back, Jae.”

• She nodded as you went, and you were fine as you found a stall and calmly shut the door behind you

• But before you had the chance to lock it Jaehee was in the restroom and in your stall, cheeks flushed from the alcohol as she bit her lip

• “Jaehee...?”

• “I want you MC...right now.”

• “W-wait,” You stuttered, her fingers fumbling near your zipper on your jeans as she shoved you against the stall wall

• The action sent you back to high school, a student you barely knew dragging you into the stall and shoving you up against it

• She wasn’t nice; she was really rough. She told you to shut up and take it

• “If you tell anyone, I will be sure that you never see the light of day again.”

• “Get off, please get off!”

• You shoved Jaehee, HARD, the poor woman sobering up quickly as she slammed into the opposite wall

• “Huh? Wait...oh no, MC? MC wait!”

• You ran, straight out of the bathroom and out of the bar even, ending up at teh park nearby

• The chilly air felt good against your hot cheeks, your breathing shallow as you tried to calm yourself down

• “MC! Please I, I’m so sorry. I was just trying to be spontaneous.”

• “No, Jaehee it wasn’t you, I just...”

• You told her everything. You sobbed. She held you

• She even had a few tears slip as she held you close, rubbing your back as you gripped her coat tight

• “I promise you MC. Nobody will ever hurt you that way again.”

Jumin

• You were visiting him in his office since he’d promised to have lunch with you

He asked you to close the door behind him and you obliged, setting your bag down in the empty chair beside you

• “I’ve missed you, darling.”

• “I’ve missed you Jumin.”

• He’d finished signing the last document on his desk and then he stood, walking over towards you

• You followed suit, standing while giving him a smile

• Just as you went to grab your bag he had grabbed you first, easily picking you up and placing you on his desk

• “May your darling boyfriend receive a kiss?”

• His request went ignored as you froze on the desk, your mind flashing back t o your teacher in high school

• “I know how badly you need to pass, MC. I teach you how to do math; what’s so different about teaching this? Now come on...down on your knees...”

• Jumin’s hands drifted down to your thighs and before you knew it your reflexes kicked in and you slapped him

• An angry red handprint formed on his cheek, his eyes wide with shock as he slowly turned his head back towards you

• “I...I...”

• You couldn’t think of any words to say, so you did what you had done back then; you ran

• “MC! Hold on, MC!”

• Of course you didn’t listen, keeping your head down while Jumin hurriedly ran after you

• He caught you in the elevator, pressing the emergency stop button before turning to you

• Your eyes were cloudy with tears as you shook your head

• “Jumin I’m so sorry I just—”

• “Just talk to me MC. What’s going on?”

• You caved and told him everything; from reporting your teacher to the court cases that went on for almost three years

• “MC Oh God if I had known...I’m sorry. I promise I’ll be more careful; and we’ll get you some help, okay?”

707

• Surprisingly, he hadn’t triggered you when he found out

• He just noticed that at times you were a little, evasive when it came to intimacy with him

• While he really wanted o build this relationship out of trust, he just couldn’t get an answer out of you no matter how hard he tried

• So...he looked into your records. And what he found made him so angry that he’d thrown one of his many laptops against the wall

• “Saeyoung! Saeyoung what was that? Are you okay?”

• You walked in to see him squatting on the ground, head in his hands before he turned to you

• Tears were running down his cheeks as he hurriedly stood up and was in front of you, crushing you in a hug as you squeaked in surprised

• “Saeyoung...?”

• “I am so sorry that your father did that to you.”

• You were silent, a bit confused until reality sank in

• “So...you did some digging, huh? I’m sorry, I meant to tell you...”

• He nodded, and you couldn’t control it; you just burst into tears as he held you even tighter

• “I’m sorry Saeyoung, I just didn’t know how to tell you and it was so long ago but the thought of sex just...I just...”

• “Shh, MC. You don’t have to explain it to me. At least, not until you’r ready. Just know that I love you, and I will do absolutely do anything to help you get through this.”

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger headcanons #zen #hyun ryu #yoosung kim #jaehee kang #jumin han #707 #luciel #luciel choi #saeyoung #saeyoung choi #mysme headcanons #mysme #headcanons #mc #lunarmessenger #my writing

87 notes · View notes

wychive · 4 years ago

Text

𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨

summary // you found your pile of ‘letters’ to hyunjin that contain thoughts that have never been said and decided to write to him one last time.

pairing(s) // hyunjin x gn!reader, hyunjin x oc, slight minho x reader

genre(s) // angst, letter fic

warning(s) // mentions of food, themes of being forgotten, vulgar wording, humiliation, overthinking

word count // 2.0k

author's note // happy birthday @noya-sannnn !! im sorry this was so late hhh you know how i am irl,, but i hope you enjoy this! i love you so much, jane <3 i apologize for the many grammar mistakes gn. i recommend listening to iu’s ending scene while reading this! btw y/n/n means your nickname.

[10/01/14, 3:55am]

dear jinnie,

hi there! it's y/n <3 i hope you're doing okay - i mean of course you are pfft anyways, just writing this short letter (more like paragraph) sort of as a venting mechanism? for things i cant tell you about lol im not so sure how you would call it, since you're so much better at words than i am. basically were like:

hyunjin: ow a brain freeze!

me: haha brain go brrrr

anyways haha yea <3 it's 4am so like,, ill see you at school!

signed,

your loser,

y/n/n

[15/02/14, 12:34am]

yo heartthrob!

im back with this kinda stuff haha it's been a whole? week? since ive written one of these so like yes..hi! i just wanted to say thanks, for today. you really know how to cheer me up huh? you really outdid yourself by setting up that little picnic for us. congrats on making the strawberry cake so perfectly <3 this day will always stay as a core memory in the back of my brain. you're too caring sometimes,,, istg you'll pay for this [maybe hugs?] >:)

signed,

your partner in crime,

y/n/n

[30/02/15, 01:29am]

jinnie-senpai~~

LMAO you hate me calling you that, doesn't change a thing though. hehe,, nways i hope you enjoyed your birthday present :) i got you that really cool skateboard that you wanted. i worked my ass off for that in my mother's garden so like,, you gotta thank me for that a thousand times :D nah jk, its a sincere gift, from me to you. i rarely do this for ANYONE so consider yourself lucky to have a best friend like me -3- also, seungmin is like….kinda the cutest person ever. introduce me to him pls, thank!

signed,

<your bestest friend3,

y/n

(p.s. you're kinda cute too,,,, ig,,, still stinkee tho)

[13/04/15, 9:04pm]

hey 'baby' (HAHAHA ihy for this)

i hope your day was okay! i didn't see much of you today (which was sort of a bummer but wtv) so like…. uh yea. you told me you were doing okay over text, which kinda surprised me because like?? we always video call lol this is kinda the first time,, but its okay, i trust you! (i really hope youre doing alright tho, i'll beat anyone up if they make you sad >:( ) you also called me 'sweetheart' today which was like…. omg wtf haha????????? that was so weird to me for some reason… a good kind of weird :D we haven't done those kinds of nicknames in a while so…. happy to know that they're back in session <3 i talked to the new girl today, she's really cool! like she knows the bean song on tiktok so like its a total win heh, ill introduce you to her tomorrow! you'll love her a lot

signed,

your 'lover',

y/n/n

[08/06/16, 10:23pm]

hey howl (hehe go back to that movie night we had)

this spring break sucks so much,, esp because youre not here (you still couldve brought me along :'[ ) but wtv i hope youre enjoying yourself. ive been hanging out with yeonnie lately and i found out she likes conan grey too like pls i love her sm. can we adopt her?? please???? she told me you guys have been video calling too and that makes me so happy!! you two are getting along so well aaa my precious babies </3

what if you developed a crush on her? haha…..jk unless?? (no jk dont shes all mine, stay away >:) ) anyways, i hope the three of us hang out soon. maybe go to that ice cream parlour where they serve the best cookies and cream?

signed,

your daisy,

y/n/n

[19/07/15, 01:23am]

peepee poopoo hello

heyheyhey!! (heh, haikyuu thingz) i hope youre doing okay! i mean sure you are, with everything going so well. also i feel like you're not telling me something. maybe it's just me? is it? i hope it is because you tell me everything,, we've been talking less these days but its okay! i know how busy you are, especially with your dad always bugging you,,

also, i think yeonbin likes you :0,, she keeps talking about you whenever we hang out. don't get me wrong, its not bad that she likes you but...something doesn't feel right. i feel like i'm being the third wheeler here and like ugh idk. haha laughs yea i think its just me.. im sorry, i didnt mean to do you like this,, anyways, ill see you soon + her too ofc- yall are inseparable lmao

signed,

your moonlight,

y/n/n

[23/07/15, 01:56am]

greetings, kind sir

lol more like mean sir but like aight KSKSK,, anyways,, how have you been? we haven't really talked in a while,, our convos are always so short with it being one-sided :/ i wish you were online more. yeonnie is ignoring me,, do you know why? i think you do,,, but when i asked you just said you didnt know. did i do something wrong? pls tell me..

she blocked my contact the other day and she won't even smile at me when i pass her in the hallways. its,, sad and stressful especially because she was the only one that would genuinely talk to me. i hate to say this,, but i miss you. us, hanging out like the best trio we are, yknow? but i dont think you miss me the same way. sorry, im getting out of hand. i know im just overreacting. im just gonna sleep ig,, good night! sweet dreams,,

signed,

your pink lemonade,

y/n/n

[25/07/15, 03:25am]

hi there

i heard you and her got together?? congrats, jinnie! im so proud of you,, especially because you never had even considered getting a girlfriend a few months earlier lmaO you really woo the ladies huh? anyways,, i hope you've been well since we last talked,, how many days has it been?? i would say nearly a week or so but honestly it feels like a hundred years,, considering you and i used to talk every day. but you have her now to keep you company.

keep this a secret but can you possibly tell me why it hurts when i see her? or when i mention her or even think of her?? is it because she's connected to you? but.. you're my best friend, so why? is it because i miss you? is it because im alone now? is it because you left me with a simple 'i have to go now,, bye y/n/n.'? im not sure either. im being silly, i apologize. ill figure it out sooner or later. sweet dreams, jinnie

signed,

your asswipe,

y/n

[25/07/15, 04:30am]

jinnie

it's because i love you.

signed,

your butterfly,

y/n

[??/08/??, 05:??am]

you

i miss your lame jokes. i miss your smile. i miss your laughs. i miss your funny faces. i miss the way your eyes twinkle. i miss th way you would make me happy just by doing the bare minimum. i miss the disaster you made when cooking breakfast. i miss the night when you snuck me out just to go to that pretty lantern event. i miss when you would call out my name everytime we met. i miss when we would share earbuds in train rides. dont you get it, hyunjin? i miss you.

[??/??/15, ??:??am]

asshole.

please tell me that isn't true, please. you're too kind to do these kinds of things, right? + i was your best friend,, then, why, why did you hurt me like this. i didnt do anything wrong.. you couldve just told me you didnt like me,,, why did she have to tell me? out of all people.

youre so pathetic for this,, i thought you were brave, bold - but youre just a fucking coward. i loved you, i really did. and i realised too late… im sorry. she,, i shouldn't have talked to her in the first place, right? i bet you knew she humiliated me, in front of everyone. of course you did, you were the only one that knew. you told her. fuck, i hate you so much (yet why do i long for you on a night like this?). you know how much that'll affect me and yet, there you are, laughing about it with her.

signed,

fuck off,

you know who i am.

[31/08/15, 03:41am]

ah, jinnie

please tell me this is just a nightmare. please, please. stop just reading my texts, please answer them. jinnie. i miss you so much. i dont care bout her, please just let me be in your arms. i dont care if you love me back, please just talk to me at least. tell me what i did wrong,, jinnie,, please,,, clear these tear stains on my cheek with kisses.

signed,

your fuck-up,

y/n

[15/09/15, 04:59am]

jinnie

why do i keep crying because of you? its been a few weeks since everything has happened. please, nothing has changed. i still love you the same even with all the hatred i have pent up in this stupid brain of mine. i wish i could just walk back in time, to where it all began.

when i first met you in third grade and you pushed me while playing soccer or maybe when we took those ridiculous prom pictures, remember those? i hope you still have them,, because i do too. i hope the pictures of us on your wall still hang there,, it'll remind you of the happy times. hm,, maybe you don't need them.

you already have millions of pictures with you and her,, i bet you printed some and replaced those with ours right? sly dog.

signed,

friend,

y/n/n

[04/02/16, 12:57am]

hey

i went to the park today and saw both of you being happy. it's nice to see your smile again. im sorry i didnt go up to you,, i just thought it would be awkward. when i heard that adorable laugh of yours, it made me realise that i lost something special. but it's okay isnt it? as your happiness matters more than mine.

signed,

y/n

[06/01/20, 08:00pm]

dear hyunjin,

im doing fine here. how about you? gosh,, how long has it been? years? since we last talked to each other. i havent heard from you since. i would just like to say i still think of you sometimes, when watering the plants or dancing while making pancakes. sometimes i think you're here with me too, just being the pals we were.

sometimes i'd see you out, just reading a book in the park or buying pasta sauce at the grocery store. it's nice to see you having a stable life. im not sure if you're still with her or not, but its good to know that you still have that large friend group. also! you're never gonna guess who im dating--

it's minho! do you remember him? the one that i used to hate,, uh yeah. he asked me out the other day- you may wonder how tf,,, i too do not know how tf but he gives the best hugs ever. he gave me the love i wanted from you. he stitched my heart back together after it broke,, i love him so much, jinnie..

it's snowing,, do you remember when we would skate on the frozen lake in front of your house? are your parents well? i wonder if your mother still has those earrings i bought for her birthday. i never told you this but your laugh and hers sound so similar.

i would just like to say thank you, for everything. you were a big part of my life, up until now. when we see each other after this, we would just be strangers. maybe flash a little smile or give a little wave whenever we greet each other but nothing more. some memories of us would flow in every now and then but it'll just be a short teaser. well, i'll be going now. smile for me, okay?

signed,

the one that loved you the most,

y/n.

taglist // @/noya-sannnn, @crvgio , @neo-shitty

reply to be in my gen taglist!

124 notes · View notes

anakinthetrashking · 4 years ago

Note

yo! you just read the queen's thief series? :0 i am a long-time fan and would LOVE to hear any of your feelings about it (also, have you seen the discord server bc its pretty active and fans always love more fans if discord servers are your thing :)

So, you'll have to forgive how LATE this reply is, it's been a mixture of busy-school-semester-quarantine-social-burnout and tumblr deleting my replies when I tried to save them to continue writing later!! But it's now 3am and my brain won't stop thinking about Queen's Thief, so it's the best time to reply, really! (But I really do appreciate you sending in this ask to let me rant about TQT!!!!! AHFKSISJ replying is just hard sometimes lol)

So because I'm terribly long winded and because spoilers!!! For a few people who follow me who haven't read it/or haven't finished reading it, the rest is under the readmore!

Where to begin. So my blog says I just read it but I realized that's a little bit of a lie now? I read the first five books for the first time at the end of Dec 2019, and the beginning of January 2020! I had seen the name of the series around before, around Tumblr bc of a few people I'm following, in regards to a Batfam fic by lurkinglurkerwholurks, ( this one: Breathing )who is ALSO a longtime TQT fan! I reread her Batfam fic after reading the Queen's Thief series and it hit SOOOOOOOOO much harder. Really brilliant. But that last straw was getting an email saying that one of my other all time fav fic writers was writing a fic for TQT. I saw that email and basically immediately downloaded The Thief on my library app 😂 (i needed to be able to read the fic!!! And I'm soooooo glad I: a) read the series before reading the fic, therefore not spoiling anything and b) was able to read the fic because holy cow does it live rent free in my brain. It's Ere by audreycritter btw)

Anyhow, I absolutely DEVOURED the books. I read one after another and then ended up rereading the first three again more slowly over the course of that spring semester. I started drawing again, listened to a good amount the Attolian Archives podcast, reblogged and MADE!! ART!! and m e m es, died when MWT REBLOGGED ONE OF MY MEMES AND SAID IT MADE HER LAUGH, recommended the series to a bunch of people and got several to at least *start* reading the series! I haven't gotten seratonin from books like this since early high school ten years ago! 🤣

Plus the fandom is SO SWEET!!!! And MWT is so engaging!!!! I love that she lets us play in her sandbox! It's like she made a fully furnished dollhouse complete with dolls but she lets us continue to decorate it and build on it and move the dolls around, and then she comes up and gives us compliments on the little things we've done!!! 🥺😭💞

Oh but the books themselves!!! They dig their spots in my heart deeper everytime I read them!!! I don't think Ive ever read a series that I enjoy more every time I reread it. I'm looking forward to rereading this last book, bc I know that the only one that I was obsessed with the first read through was QoA. All the others I liked the first time I read it, but I wasn't in LOVE with them, you know? But when I went back to read them a second time I LOVED THEM. Its like a riptide that you kick around in the shallows the first time around, and then the next time suddenly you're sucked out to sea???

It feels like the pages hold secrets that need to be teased out. The dialogue is SO FUN. It has suspense but not so much that you're stressed. It's so balanced. It has lines that make you put the book down and have to just, do a lap.around the block because they really said that. THEY REALLY SAID THAT. "Diplomacy, in my own name." SHE REALLY SAID THAT. The symbolism, the foreshadowing, I'm OBSESSED! THE CHARACTERS!!!! THE LOYALTY!!!!! What i wouldn't do to have that sort of loyalty written into some of the other fandoms that I'm in. And the TEnderNESS. The way Gen interacts with others??? The way he loves so.wholly? With his entire self??? The way that it's sorta slowburn found family before tumbling into found family all at once in a way that isn't slowburn at all?? I'm pulled in by Gens tricks every time. The storytwists surprised me but made sense. The writing was enjoyable to get lost in. I think of the way that Gen sits at Irene's feet and looks up at her with eyes full of love, how he sits like a printers apprentice in a chair but sits like a king while sick/hurt in his bed, I think about the way he pushed Relius's hair back and kissed him on the forehead, how Relius said he would still crawl back to his Queen and Gen said me too, the difference between my Queen and my King and your Majesty 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 the way Helen says that Sophos basically has Gens heart in his hands, the way that all four of them are entwined together. I think about these books and I'm filled with YEARNING

Uh, No thoughts, head empty except for squeeing about TQT. This isn't even like,,,,,, idk a quarter of it??? There's so much more but it's all so hard to put into words, a lot of it is just me yelling incoherently because I'm overwhelmed! And when I string words together it's, well. All over the place! 😂

As for the discord thing, I've seen the link around! I'm uh, Not Great(tm) at being social, and so the discord is a leeeeetle daunting, haha. But I have considered it, especially because I have an... Interesting fic idea that I wanted to drop into the pool of other TQT fans to see their reactions. It's... a little bit evil...

Thanks again for the ask!

#tqt #the queen's thief #queen's thief #i would hand him my heart on a toothpick if he asked 🥺#an appropriate tag for this!#ive been feeling unnecessarily guilty about this unanswered ask for months RIP #ive WANTED to answer it!!! but my brain kept latching onto other things bc ADHD and also anxiety keeps me from doing most things lol #excuses excuses #i did enjoy writing this all out tho!#ive been waiting on like 4 different friends to get further in the books (aka past a CERTAIN POINT) so i could scream about stuff with them #so i totally am for wanting to hear the thoughts of someone new to it and if i think of more later ill add more #uh does that make any sense..? it was trying to be thank you for letting me rant about my new obsession and i get where youre coming from in #wanting to hear someone new rant about your old obsession???#ok maybe i need to sleep now #im so 🥺😭💞🥺😭💞🥺😭💞🥺 about TQT tho #mwt #megan whalen turner

9 notes · View notes

yandere-daydreams · 5 years ago

Note

Since requests are open, could we get a Deku with a chronically ill darling? To where maybe he started off as your caregiver (no quirk AU) and slowly finds himself in love?? Hits close to home. I love your work, btw!!!

Alright, I kinda translated heroes or doctors/caretakers, so… roll with it, everyone. I make the rules here.

TW: Emotional Manipulation, Non-Consensual Drugs, Implied Rape

In the morning, Izuku woke you up with a kiss.

It was a subtle, soft gesture, more often on the forehead than the lips and rarely anywhere lower. He’d always be smiling, grinning, just so happy to have you close enough to touch, close enough to care for properly. You never argued against it. Sometimes you didn’t want a kiss, some sometimes you didn’t want to wake up while the air was still chilled and before the sun had a chance to rise, but you’d never tell Izuku that.

He was your doctor. Doctors cared for their patients. If he did something, it was obviously for your benefit.

After that, he’d give you a small, orange pill, and you would wonder what it was supposed to help. You had medication, medication that worked, but Izuku insisted that it was necessary, going on about how your condition was getting worse, or the symptoms your showing, or how he thought you’d been a little stressed, lately. At first, you refused to take it. But, when it became apparent he’d just crush whatever you were supposed to take up and mix it into your drink, you figured it would be better to see what you were swallowing, at least.

The rest of the morning would be filled with domestic, trivial tasks, none of which were particularly important. He’d carry you into a shower, washing your hair and lathering you in affectionate touches, saying that this was normal for couples, normal for caregivers. You’d sit at the table as he made breakfast, chatting idly about which wing he was working that day, how that sweet nurse who’s always snuck you an extra dessert was doing, whatever came to mind. Letting him feed you by hand was never something you remembered agreeing to, but Izuku didn’t have to ask, for these things. He knew you got sore when you moved too much, this was just his way of making sure you weren’t in pain.

It’s why you weren’t allowed to walk, either. Because your legs might give out, you’d fall and hit your head, or they’d… apostrophy? Amputee?

Atrophy. You were never great with the terminology.

You’d be tired again, at that point, and Izuku would take you back to bed, laying you down and laughing as you clung to his arm and attempted to drag him down with you. He told you he’d be home soon, but you would still whine as he got dressed, only giving-in to your own exhaustion when he kissed you good-bye. He’d leave two white pills out on the bedtable, to take if you woke up while he was gone. You never remembered taking them, but they were always gone at the end of the day.

You weren’t sure how long his shifts lasted, sometimes eight hours, sometimes sixteen, with the occasional twenty-four hour emergency. Part of you knew it wasn’t healthy to sleep that much, but you never felt like you had. There were still bags under your eyes, your body constantly heavy and on the verge of collapsing, even if Izuku promised you were ‘flourishing’ under his care. You certainly weren’t healthy when you’d come to him, but you were never this… tired, either. And yet, anytime you found yourself staring at the mirror a little too hard for a little too long, you just reminded yourself Izuku was taking care of you.

This was probably just part of the recovery process. He warned you this might happen, when he offered to switch you into a more personal program, so he must know what he’s going.

When you woke up (for the second time, you think), the sun would be setting, Izuku at your side and unconscious, more often than not. You would curl into him, simply playing with his hair until he woke up, when he grudgingly took another shower and discarded the less than sanitary scrubs he’d come home in. It’d take some effort for him to move on with his day, getting him out of bed something more easily said than done with a man who lugged you around like a toddler carrying his favorite stuffed animal. It’d take coaxing, promises of an entire night of holding each other, but eventually, you get him out of bed. It might just be the monotony, but… god, you’re not sure how anyone can like sleeping, anymore.

Sometimes he helped you change, sometimes he didn’t. You used to do it yourself, relishing in the simple joy of dividing your day into two different outfits, but after Izuku pointed out how strenuous it must be to do something like that all on your own, you stopped. It wasn’t worth the fight, and… your arms kinda hurt, anyway.

Dinner was already prepped and cooked within the next half an hour. It was the one time you were allowed a few minutes in the kitchen, if only to see the locked cabinets and all the cutlery you weren’t allowed to use, Izuku having deemed them ‘too dangerous’ for unsteady hands. This time was also when he let himself talk about you, about how much he loved you, about how well you were doing with him, about how beautiful you whenever he got to see you. It always almost always a tangent, a sleepy ramble that didn’t require a response. You wouldn’t provide one, either way. You’d just sit and listen, trying to ignore all the times he mentioned adding something to your IV, or when he’d laugh about weak you'd be, without him.

You never really liked dinner.

Izuku would spend an hour or two doing chores (you’d offer to help, but any tasks he gave you were more out of pity than a genuine desire for you to help), and if he was feeling lazy and affection, there’d be more cuddling. You were allowed to read or watch something or play on one of his old hand-helds, the kind you didn’t know they even made anymore. Izuku was content to rest his chin in the crook of your neck, kissing and nipping at your skin, occasionally commenting on whatever you were doing. Whenever it looked like things were going to escalate, Izuku feeling a little more playful and energetic and loving that day, he’d give you a big, round, squishy pill. That one was always your favorite, out of everything he’d give you.

Izuku was happier than usual, when you woke up the next morning.

And you were happy for him.

But, normally, he’d carry you to bed, kissing your nose or rubbing your cheeks together or doing something sickeningly sweet before laying down at your side. When he first switched to home-care, there’d been physical therapy, Izuku helping you to stretch and maintain some of the mobility you used to have. There wasn’t, now, Izuku just saying you didn’t have to move, not if he was there to take care of you. You were just left to lie awake until the sun rose and Izuku, once again, woke you up with a kiss.

You used to think about how your life had been, how doctors didn’t kiss their patients, or keep a four-digit code on their medicine-cabinets, or cry when their clients mentioned wanting a second opinion. When your mind was clear and you didn’t think Izuku was attempting to read your thoughts, you would start to wonder if you’d ever told your family where you were, or how long it’d been since you’d talked to someone besides the physician who probably wasn’t supposed to get so excited when you came down with something incapacitating. You’d mull over everything he said, everything he did, every lingering touch and needy kiss, and in the end…

You’d tell yourself not to think about it.

Izuku was a doctor, and you were his patient. He was trying to help you, he had to be trying to help you.

Even if you only seemed to be getting so, so much more helpless.

406 notes · View notes

humanemotionssuck · 4 years ago

Text

Hello 2021

January 2, 2021

I should’ve put these thoughts into words on the first day of the year but then again, I felt so lazy given this bed weather we are currently having. By far, I think I experienced the coldest temperature here in my hometown (21 degrees baby) and I’m sure not liking it as I prefer warm days.

I actually do not know how to start. I feel it’s necessary to check on how I am doing lately. Write the things I experienced last year and reflect on the lessons it taught me.

I could probably kick things off by remembering how 2020 started for me. I have a bad memory but I’ll try my best to recall them.

January

Broke up with J (yes this is probably one of the major and heartbreaking events happened to me). To sum it up, I realized that the relationship does not have growth anymore, and I am slowly drifting to follow my own path, which is to focus on the plans I want. I haven’t thought deeply the lessons I learned in my past relationship yet but one thing is for sure, I changed and I want to explore more of what I can do or what I’m missing out in life. Which brings me to attend seminars on how to work/study abroad. I attended a couple (e.g Fortrust Makati) and I also realized how costly it will be and I’m probably not yet ready esp. on the financial aspect.

February – March

Highlight on these months was I got back to dating apps again. I know it was a complete dick move. I haven’t moved on yet and here I am in the pool again. I met 2 guys from this app, Coffee Meets Bagel (which btw I uninstalled few months after). The first guy was the introvert but funny type and also VERY sexual. I got along with it, tried to do the deed but failed cause the guy hasn’t moved on from the ex yet. (Sucks right). And so I met this second guy and he is decent but we really had completely different personality. I believe this guy is also rich (he came from a Chinese family and I went to his house and saw the maid and his stuff). Can you also believe he already introduced me to his mom (no dad cause broken family), uncle and grandma. Pressured si ate gurl syempre cause it was really too early to do that step since we’re just dating but March was the most difficult month because…

START OF LOCKDOWN. PH was in state of panic after the government announced a nationwide lockdown due to increased COVID-19 transmission. I immediately went on a bus to the province fearing to get stuck in Manila.

April

Nah this was just a typical month. Summer vibes all over but since we cannot go to the beach we just setup an inflatable pool in the house to get soaked. I finally posted a pic wearing a swimsuit again. My stagnant IG feed came to life lmao

May

Oh boy. This month sucks so much. I got typhoid fever. Which I thought was COVID already cause my fever just won’t stop. My mom didn’t want me to get admitted in the hospital in the fear of being infected so I was hooked in the IV here in the house. I felt I was dying. I was in huge pain both physically and mentally. Which forced me to end any communication means with the second guy. He was not there when I was sick. I didn’t feel his concern even if we’re miles apart and I felt I was begging for his attention. It just won’t work. He blocked me in his socials (which is a first for me, usually I am the one who blocks lol) but given the current state I have now, I learned to accept it and chose to move forward.

June

Explored options on work/study program abroad. We got a new car (Xpander) which my father was able to purchase after borrowing money from us. That money could’ve been used for my Japan trip on December (plot twist it was cancelled due to fucking corona) but it’s okay I guess I’ll save another again.

I also got my student permit (yes I learned how to drive months after hehe)

July

THIS WAS MY BIGGEST DOWNFALL FOR THIS YEAR. There were some modifications in the quarantine and so my employer required and FORCED us to report on site in Makati despite of high number of positive cases. All I can say is SCREW THEM and I hope karma will do its thing on their business. The management.. the bosses.. they are all inconsiderate fucks for not allowing me to work at home instead. The situation forced me to resign but they chose to terminate me instead. The unemployment took its toll on my mental health, it caused me great depression and anxiety which forced me to look for distractions.. anything that will ease my mind.

Oh and btw, I bought my first laptop from hard earned money. Oh boy, it was satisfying to give myself the things my parents couldn’t afford that time I was still in school. It’s a gaming laptop and the one I’m using to type now. I absolutely love it and I used it to find online jobs later on..

I read Looking for Alaska by John Green again after watching the TV series on Hulu. Geez, this has to be my favorite book so far. The seeking of great perhaps.. which was very timely on my mood while having nothing else to do.

Lastly, TAYLOR SWIFT RELEASED A NEW ALBUM CALLED FOLKLORE. In the middle pandemic? Awesome right and this album kept me sane during this crazy and miserable month. Oh and on December, she released folklore’s sister album.. Evermore. Miss Swift saved me again with her music. This will definitely be one of the albums I will play when I’m old and gray knitting sweaters and wearing cardigan.

August

I started and finished my driving lesson in manual. JFC, I realized driving gives me a huge anxiety. One thing is for sure, I will prefer to drive automatic. Not driving that shit again.

I was still hooked with Looking for Alaska. Also purchased Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck on the time I bought LFA.

On the other hand, I was also actively looking for new jobs this time.

September

ON SEPT. 30 I GOT HIRED! I was super happy to start on a new job. It gave me hope once again to continue on this journey called life. After almost 3 months, we are def back to business!

I also got the chance to get this Thyroid issue checked. Unfortunately, there was no major stuff going on with my thyroid. Basically, I’m perfectly healthy. What sucks is that the doctor invalidated my previous condition and said I only have ~anxiety which is the cause of my symptoms (excessive sweating and palpitations). I will seek professional help on this anxiety stuff anytime in the future.

Lastly, I played Grand Chase again and met someone in the game. Well technically we haven’t met yet but since then, I got used to talking with this guy and he is part of my daily routine now. I won’t spoil much details but as soon as this is all over, I can’t wait to meet this person :)

*cue Grand Chase soundtrack*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoK0bAjsHoo

October

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEE! It was a typical birthday. I don’t have much realizations. If I had one, I need to think thoroughly again lol.

Busy with training on the new job and this has been the most challenging training I ever had since I started working.

NOVEMBER

WORK WORK WORK. Super stressed and my anxiety was on the roof. I thought of giving up already but then again it was too early to quit. I haven’t seen my full potential on this job yet and so I chose to keep on fighting.

I also finally got braces. Let’s get these smiles fixed.

December

WORK WORK WORK AGAIN. My work caused me a huge anxiety cause I was given high priority cases -.-But overall, I can say the holidays went great. I finally got to spend time with the family outside. Don’t worry cause we still practiced precautions and I guess it wouldn’t hurt to go out once in a while to have some fresh air. We went to the beach and pretty much that’s the highlight of this month.

Things are getting serious with this guy I’m talking about.. Seriously, he makes me happy every single day.

I also won in Christmas raffle. Oppo phone. (I have the odds in my favor when it comes to raffles lol)

Feels weird to celebrate this holiday too thinking a lot of hardships were experienced in the last few months of quarantine. I was thinking about all the lives lost by covid and hoping they are in the peaceful place now..

JANUARY (NOW)

After everything that happened, oddly the start of the year gives me a sense of hope. Sure I am still carrying the trauma 2020 gave me but I am slowly leaving all of them behind. I want a fresh start and I want to let go of the things that gave me pain. I don’t have solid resolutions just like in my teenage years. Guess I’m too old for that. Not saying it’s okay to not have plans for the future and just go with the flow but I promise to not be too hard on myself and to not pressure myself on the goals I haven’t achieved yet. It’s really a struggle to plan things ahead given the situation but as always, I will do my best. I will stop comparing my progress to somebody else’s cause everyone has their own timeline.

I will listen to my heart and my mind to determine the things I really want. I promise to reevaluate the decisions I am making each day. I will not be afraid of making mistakes because that’s how I learn.

I am embracing my anxiety of uncertainty. It’s okay to feel afraid because I am always trying on how to overcome my fear. I strive each day because I am more than just a ball of anxiety. The palpitations.. the sweating.. they don’t define me. I have the power to control them and they won’t stop me from being the better version of myself.

#quaranthings #just quarantine thoughts #2020 #bye2020 #new year

5 notes · View notes

asteraegis · 5 years ago

Text

i dont know what to say for myself honestly.

for the love of god take heed of the tags before beginning. i really fucked edward up and ive written a smut specifically about choking him out.

its from edward’s POV btw

Tags: Deimos! Alexios/ANGST/mild to moderate violence/assault TW/choking/slapping/M|M/blowjob/cream pie/rimjob/spanking/biting/breathplay/aggressive dom/masochism/sadism/forced submission/rawing/knifeplay/top dom! Alexios/bottom sub! Edward

6122 words.

I felt his stare burning into my skin. Why was he so interested in me?

I had just introduced myself to him as one should to new recruits, that’s all. He had nodded in response, looking down on me with those dark eyes I’ve learned to fear. If I had known Alexios’ past beforehand, well, perhaps I wouldn’t have been so casual when greeting him. This man, he was a murderer of hundreds of people, if not thousands. I mean, I know I’m not one to judge seeing as I was a pirate, but the people I killed then were mainly by canons on a ship, not with my hands. And now I’ve had this brooding shadow looming over me every day since I met him, his glare following me everywhere I go. I’m usually one to confront this sort of behavior, but with the rumors of his temper…

Needless to say, this Alexios fellow would not let me out of his sight. Even in my own room at night with the door locked and curtains drawn I felt his intensity. Had I done something to anger him? Why can’t I shake this brute from me?

However, this night was something different. It had been lashing down rain all day and with dusk approaching the weather still wasn’t letting up. I had been stuck at one of my usual haunts since the afternoon, stopping in originally for a couple quick drinks afore heading home. But being holed up in a pub for so long causes barflies to swarm around you. A couple rough looking gents with scars to suggest they’re naturals at picking fights had been looking me up and down for the past hour and it was beginning to get on my nerves. Figures, I can’t go anywhere without some kind of nasty look tossed my way. I turned my head to look out the tavern’s window at the rain. It had lightened up slightly but that wasn’t saying much. But seeing as I left my phone back at my apartment there really was no reason for me to pissed about being soaked during the walk home. I sighed and handed the bartender a tip.

“Don’t seem like it’s letting up any time soon, mate, I’ll just suffer through it,” I muttered, finishing my third drink of the evening.

“Aye, just don’t drown, Kenway,” he nodded and with that I left the bar.

I had only gone about a block before I heard gruff voices call out and heavyset footsteps approaching with haste. Blast it, those codgers are lookin’ for a brawl, I thought as I looked over my shoulder to confirm my suspicions. Sure enough, the two men from the pub that were glaring at me were chasing after me. I began to run, not in the mood to fight them in a storm and hoping me speeding my pace would cause them to give up. Unfortunately, they didn’t give up and began cackling behind me.

“Where you goin’ blondie?” I heard one of them holler. “We just want to chat!”

I stepped wrong while running and it sent a surge of pain up my left leg, making me stumble a little. I hadn’t fallen, but the mistake did hurt quite a bit. I tried to bare the feeling long enough to turn the next block’s corner into a secluded road only about a block from my apartment. Once I reached the dirt path, I hurried behind a dumpster and massaged my knee. It must have popped from a bad foot placement. A slick sidewalk is never good running conditions, and it doesn’t help that I was wearing sandals. I slowed my breathing, expecting that the men would’ve just ran past this road. That is until one of the blokes took a fistful of my hair and dragged me from behind the dumpster in front of their partner. With his boot pushing me into the sludge I just wanted to slap myself for thinking they wouldn’t see the muddy foot prints I had left behind while I ran for cover.

The one that had caught me kneeled down over my back, lifting my head up to look at the other while restraining my arms. “Well, what d'ya think, man?”

His friend grinned, unbuckling his belt. “Yeah, this punk’ll do just fine.”

Ah. So, it wasn’t a fight they wanted. I writhed under the man and managed to buck him off, only for his accomplice to quickly grab me by the throat and pin me against the wall. He had a sick grin on his face and the sinister aura of it was only heightened by his grey eyes and the rain dripping down his cheeks. The other one punched me in the jaw while grey eyes held me still. I grunted, the hand on my throat flexing.

“Thought you could just run off again, sweetheart?” grey eyes sneered, leaning into my face in a way I’m assuming was meant to intimidate me. “Why don’t you just play along and we’ll let you go when we’re done, eh?”

Now, spitting in those pretty eyes of his probably wasn’t the smartest thing I could have done, but shit, it’s what I did. He grimaced and I managed to knee him in the crotch. He let go of my neck and I began to run off again but his pal tackled me to the ground. He held my face in the mud to stifle my yelp while grey eyes stomped on my ribcage.

“You ugly son of a whore!” he snapped. “We tried to play nice but now I’m gonna kill you and set your body ablaze in that dumpster once we’re finished!”

My head was lifted from the ground so I could look at him. I spat mud out of my mouth and smirked, knowing it’d only piss grey eyes off more. “Like you and your buddy have the stones for that.”

I wonder if he felt strong when he kicked my cheek. It’ll leave a bruise yes but I think me biting his cock off when he tries to force it down my throat will hurt him worse. I regrettably never got to enact my revenge on him though.

“Get off him,” a rough voice demanded through the rain.

I don’t remember much of what happened next. Grey eyes ordered his friend to knock me out so I wouldn’t run off while they dealt with the man. Shame. I would’ve loved to watch the fight.

When I opened my eyes next, I was at my apartment in my bath tub. The curtain was open and a man was standing in jeans and a white tank top. Red splotches dotted and splattered his clothes. He was rinsing his hands in my sink, blood washing off them, his knuckles raw. My eyes explored up his scarred arms to his face and that’s when my heart dropped. Alexios was in my bathroom. Why was he here? Why was I naked? Why was he covered in blood? How had he got in here? I must’ve made some sort of noise trying to figure out what to do about this situation because he looked at me in the mirror. I sunk down in the water, afraid of his plans with me.

“Hmph. You’re awake,” he huffed.

I recognized the voice. He was the man in the alley that intervened. That only brought up more questions in my head. “Why–”

“I hope you don’t mind me letting myself in while you were out–”

“Why am I naked?” I blurted out.

He looked confused about me interrupting him at first, but a snide smile spread on his face. “You were covered in mud, Edward.”

“How’d we get in here?”

“You’ve got keys, don’t you?”

I bit my lip and glared at him. Sass, huh? I studied his shirt again and noticed dirt down his right shoulder. He must have carried me here after giving those blighters what for. Still, I wasn’t sure how I felt about him stripping me while I was out cold. He lifted off his tank top and tossed it in my hamper, using one of my towels to wipe the smudges off his arm. It was my first time seeing him without something over his torso and all I could think was that he was chiseled like a damn statue. He put that rag in the hamper, too, then turned his attention to me.

“You could at least thank me for saving your skin and washing you, boy,” he said, a blank expression I couldn’t decipher on his face.

My ears got hot. He washed me? Just thinking of his hands rubbing down my body… Jaysus… “Uh, right. Thanks.”

He nodded and moved over to stand over me. “You’ve been soaking long enough; I think it’s time we got you out and dried you off.”

Alexios reached down to lift me out of the tub but I squirmed out of the way. “I-I can stand myself, mate. Just… can you fetch me some trousers?”

He huffed, almost seeming disappointed in my competence. After he left the room I stood and dried myself off with a towel. I wrapped it around my waist, bending over to drain the tub. I flinched when I heard the floorboards creak outside the bathroom door. I knew he was standing there but he wasn’t saying anything, just watching me with those shadowy eyes. When I turned around, he handed me some bottoms—a pair of white swim trunks that wouldn’t even reach mid-thigh. I sighed but took them from him regardless.

I went to slide the shorts on but his stare not breaking from me caused my hands to hesitate. “Do you mind, mate?”

“No,” he said, still not breaking eye contact with my skin.

I blushed and positioned myself away from him, but even with my face away from his I could still feel his gaze. I attempted to wriggle into the trunks while I had the towel around my waist but right before I could pull them all the way up it fell to the floor. I hastily tugged the shorts on, now more than ever unable to look Alex in the eye, though based off the low snicker behind me he enjoyed my mishap. Figures. I shifted to have my face toward him but still wouldn’t look at his face. He seemed able to detect that I was unsure of him. From the mirror I was able to spy his grin as his own gaze met mine in the reflection. Against my own wishes my eyes instinctively darted away to the floor and he laughed louder.

“Tell me, blondie,” his voice sounded like a wolf’s growl as he approached me slowly. “do you fear me?”

I didn’t answer him. Both because I couldn’t find the courage to say no and even if I said so I’m sure he could detect I was lying. Now standing inches from me I could hear my heart beating in my ears. I’ve never felt so terrified and I’ve had swords to my throat, been beaten half to death, and survived multiple shipwrecks. I’m not sure what I was expecting him to do to me, but grab my pony tail and wrench my hair down so my neck was straining to look at him wasn’t it. He looked livid with me. I pushed away from him but he shoved me against the wall, the back of my head slamming up against the tiles. I yelped but Alexios slapped me across the face with the back of his hand and grabbed my jaw to keep my eyes focused on him, his fingers digging into my skin.

“When I ask you a question, answer me,” he snarled. “Got that?”

I tried to speak when he asked; I really did. But my body was trembling and it didn’t help when he shook me. I could feel that there was water in my eyes but I couldn’t tell if I actually had started crying when he shook me the second time, I just started shouting out an answer. My voice felt like a foreign object in my mouth, I couldn’t control anything I said to him. “Yes! All right? I am afraid of you mate! And why shouldn’t I be? I’ve heard plenty of stories on how ruthless you are and now I’m pinned to my own wall half naked being shouted at by you, you fucking knave! Now either kill me too or let go of me!”

Alexios stood like a brick wall when I attempted yet again to push him off me. There was nothing in his expression. He was just, watching. His grip on my face didn’t change for what felt like hours so I stared back at him, wondering if he could crush my jaw in his hand. From this close to him, mere breaths away, I studied him as he always did me. Alexios’ eyes were intense, but I could feel there was something behind them, something that almost felt like innocence broken by misplaced trust. He had a scar on his left cheek that cut through the top of his eyebrow. There was sleeplessness under his eyes creating dark circles. With all this mutual observing I wondered if he felt anything looking at me. After an eternity he at last blinked a few times and his hands dropped to my shoulders. His visage softened and I realized I still had my hands pushing against him. When I began to take them away, he suddenly wrapped his arms around me in a hard embrace. My face was pressed into his neck while he held me, his head against mine. I could feel his heart beating against my chest as he made an effort to pull me as close to him as possible. I was baffled. This man just slapped and shouted at me, I just admitted I feared him, I can still feel his fingers and palm’s sting on my face, and now he’s hugging me?

“I… I am sorry, Edward,” he mumbled into my hair. His voice seemed to crack for a moment and I heard him sniffle. Was he crying? “I didn’t mean to harm you, I just… I—I can’t control myself.”

If I was puzzled before I was utterly lost now. “Alex—”

“I needed to know how I made you feel, whether or not you trust me, if you feared my presence. And here I stand, with you shuddering in my grasps. I never wanted you to feel this way, Edward. I—I never wanted you to—I never—”

He was crying, choking on his words like I had before. Was this a confession? I blinked off any tears my fear might have brought in and pushed back from him to look him in the eye. He held his head down but I could still see a tear stream down over his scar. He spoke of me quaking in his arms but nothing compares to the quiver when I took his head in my hands to make him look at me. He appeared so distraught by his own actions. When I moved my hands to his broad shoulders, he slumped against me, something I’ll admit I wasn’t quite ready for. He wasn’t that much larger than me, I’ll admit, but I wasn’t prepared to support his weight and we fell to the floor, half in the hallway and half in the loo. He laid on top of me and I wormed around but it seems his revelation exhausted the man. Sighing, I settled into the floor, pondering how long I’d be stuck there under Alexios. His cheeks had dried from his fit of emotion and his breathing had slowed to a normal pace. I endeavored to run my fingers through his hair, but his dreads were too thick to comfort this brooding baby in that way. I stared at the ceiling with my arms stretched out over my head, questioning why I was even still laying here, I’ve moved men heavier than him off me before. Was I just afraid to wake him? I looked at him sleeping on me. For once I didn’t feel fear from his presence, in fact I pitied him. He clearly needed something like this, though if all he wanted from me was to relax on my body, I felt bad for avoiding him for so long.

I think I may have drifted off a little while we laid on the floor. When I woke up it was significantly darker in the apartment, the only light being the bathroom’s. I must have made some sort of noise or shifted slightly because Alexios suddenly groaned and lifted his chest off me. He had his hands planted on either side of my shoulders and my arms were still reaching above my head on the wood. While we slept our legs had also joined in on this compromising position, my thighs resting over his with his groin against me. We blushed when our eyes met and Alex sat back on his heels to let me sit up as well.

“Sorry about that, Edward,” he said, rubbing the back of his head.

“No worries mate, I didn’t mind it at all!” I laughed, trying to break the tension between us.

Alexios raised an eyebrow at me and cocked his head. “At all?”

“Not in the slightest!” I need to stop talking without thinking.

“Is that so?”

“Yep!” Oh my god.

He seemed to have this queer plan forming in his head. I wanted to bite my tongue off. Considering how he reacted when I was naked earlier, I’m sure me saying I was completely comfortable having him pressing on top of me was only adding insult to injury. He looked me up and down with an inquisitive nature, almost debating his next move. I gulped when I noticed his lips form a smirk. I stayed on the floor while he got to his feet, my body stuck in this pose looking up at him like I was a submitting dog. That snide mien returned to him when he stood over me. I tried to smile at him in the friendliest manner I could, though I think he misunderstood what kind of friend I was trying to come off as.

“Well, in that case, blondie,” he lifted me into his arms in a fisherman’s carry and marched me into my room after turning off the bathroom light. I was dropped on my back in my sheets and watched Alexios hold his belt buckle. “You wouldn’t mind getting to know each other better, now would you?”

I think I put the most thought into this answer of any I said all day. I felt my stare glued to his hands on that buckle and my tongue pushed itself against the roof of my mouth. For the first time since the day I met him I gave him a genuine smile. “No, I certainly wouldn’t.”

He returned me with a satisfied leer, quickly getting to unbuckling his pants, whipping his belt off so swiftly it made a whooping noise. Alexios grabbed me by my ankles and pulled me to the foot of the bed, putting the belt on around my neck like a collar and leash. He didn’t secure the buckle so it felt more like a noose, but regardless I felt ready to melt into anything he put me in, be it this leather strap or a rope. He tugged on the belt and it tightened around my throat, causing me to groan. He sat on the bed next to me and patted his lap for me to rest my head over. I was on my stomach and he placed a hand over my ass whilst his other took his cock out in front of me. He began stroking it to get it fully erect with me watching through a hungry gaze, biting my lip as his fist rubbed down the veiny shaft, his knuckles still raw from his brawl. Once hard, Alexios took the belt to yank me towards his dick and I immediately got to work, my lips kissing his tip before licking it in a circular motion. My tongue traced down his skin then back up to the head and I heard him sigh as I moved my mouth down around his cock. I went slow at first, going straight to the base and from his light muttered swear I could tell he wasn’t expecting I could deepthroat him. I got cocky and began sucking him with more force, moving my head back and forth down him. My showing off seemed to be working for Alex as his hand became snugger on my ass. I moved my left hand down to go to town on my own member, but he noticed me rubbing myself and spanked my ass with the same force he slapped me with earlier. I whimpered and instinctively withdrew my hand, him amused by my retreat.

“Good boy, you’ve been trained well,” he whispered to me.

He’s right, I’ve learned to be wont to being used like this. He spanked me again, and he appeared to enjoy my muffled yelps as he did it again, and again, and again. My skin felt numb and my cock was begging me to stroke it. I decided that if he was just going to continuing slapping me like this I might as well try to rub myself once more, just to see if he was willing to let me. I quickly learned he wasn’t, as when I started moving my hand down once more, he grabbed the back of my head and choked me with his cock, my lips pressed to the base of his groin. I attempted to push my head back so I could breathe but his hold was far stronger than my neck. I began gagging, wondering if he was going to let me breathe any time soon. Perhaps he liked how it felt to have his cock in my throat while I choked. He switched up his hands so he no longer was holding my ass but unfortunately for me he grabbed the belt with his other. Alex pulled it skintight, compressing my throat and I felt tears forming in my eyes. I moved my hands to hold his thigh, digging my nails into him as if to ask him if he was trying to kill me already. There was a low chuckle when I struggled to pull away from him, like he was enjoying my scriking. I was becoming more desperate to move off of him, but it was too difficult with him being so much stronger than me.

“Scared, are we?” He leaned in over me, yanking my head back so I could look into his glare. “Next time don’t touch yourself without my permission, understand?”

I moaned in response to him, hoping he’d finally let me catch my breath. He patted my head and finally released me, my body moving on its own to get away from him, gasping for air while I backed up against the wall on the other end of the bed. Alexios had a wicked grin on his face, grabbing the belt to pull me back to him.

“Aw, I really did frighten you. You’ve got your mascara running down your cheeks like a scared little whore,” he said while wiping my face with his thumb.

I was still winded and with my panic subsiding I began to see red. “You… what the fuck were you trying to do? Suffocate me?”

He frowned, clearly able to detect my irritation with him. “Sorry, I had gotten ahead of myself.”

Alexios was looking down at the floor like a guilty dog and I rolled my eyes, kicking him in the side. “Well shit mate, don’t stop, just give me a damn warning next time.”

I saw his entire body perk up and he shifted around, taking the ‘leash’ in his hand and tugging me closer to him. He noticed me wince from how taut the belt was around my neck and loosened it slightly for me which made me groan again. Honestly, either be rough with me or play nice, don’t keep switching up. I lurched forward and shoved him down on the sheets, kissing him and smiling against his lips at the startled noise he made. I grinded my pelvis over his cock, his hands slapping down on my ass to jerk me into him. I felt his fingers caressing the seam on my trunks but I shrugged it off, not realizing he was looking for the best place to grab a hold of so he could rip open my shorts. It was one quick tear and it’s fair to say I wasn’t ready for it. Alexios grabbed my flesh, toying with it in his palms while I rocked back and forth on him. He kissed me back as he rolled over on top of me, but only for a short time as he soon moved his mouth down to kiss my jaw, my neck, and then my shoulder. At my shoulder, he bit me and I yelped, my hands and legs wrapping around him while he tore my skin. He lapped at the blood from my fresh wound like he was a wolf.

Alexios’ eyes shot me a harsh glance, though before I could think about what that look meant he answered my question with his cock up my ass. I cried out, wishing he gave me more of a warning than just a simple stare before going in raw, but I guess he wasn’t used to being accommodating. He continued this trend of being unaccommodating while he fucked me, his strokes inside me being ruthless and deep. I couldn’t control my voice; I was just a whining mess at his mercy. Alex shook my arms off his back and pinned my arms down next to my head, his weight being pressed into my wrists. My legs tightened around his waist in response to the way he was dominating me, still aching to touch myself but knowing there was no way he’d let that happen. He seemed to love my wailing; his grunts tainted by low laughs. I see his life as Deimos has made him have a fetish for causing pain in others. Hmph, schadenfreude.

I continued trying to free myself, but damn was this guy strong. I couldn’t even manage to lift my pinned wrists, and that’s with the added adrenaline of my ass feeling like it was being torn to shreds by his lack of empathy. Alexios didn’t once seem to want to slow down with me. He just wanted things done his way and couldn’t careless about how much pain I was in. Perhaps I gave him the impression I could take a beating and that’s why he’s been eyeing me the way he has. I could hear his grunts deepening; he must have really been feeling this semi-torture session. His love of completely dominating me made me wonder if he just viewed me as prey, a toy for him to use and then he’d throw me away. The idea of that must’ve turned me on quite a bit as I felt precum from my cock drip onto my pelvis. I’m not surprised I was into being used; I just wish I had standards for how I was treated in bed. Honestly, I wish I wasn’t wincing through this dealing so I could keep my eyes open long enough to properly see the expression on Alexios’ face. What I’d give to be able to watch this beast fuck me before my eyes…

Alex’s speed somehow went faster and his grip on my wrists turned into an almost crushing feeling “Oh god Edward…” I heard him moan.

I swear I was about to bite a hole in my lip. I had bit myself to stifle an actual scream from the pain, but luckily for me after Alexios came I only had to suffer through a few more rough pumps. After those he slowed to a halt, both of us catching our breaths for the moment. I finally got a good look at him, sweat soaking his brow and his cheeks red. He pulled out of me and I felt his cum dripping out of me as he did. He finally moved off from holding my wrists and sat back, looking at the clear hard on in my shorts and the mess he made of my rear. I tried to give him a little simper so he’d know I enjoyed it, but he just kept staring at my bottom with the same gaze I was giving his cock earlier. I gulped, knowing he still wasn’t finished with me.

“Roll over,” he demanded and I obliged with haste.

I had originally been on my hands and knees but Alexios knocked me down to my elbows afore grabbing my thighs. He bit my inner thigh before licking up my leg to my ass where he bit me again. I winced, this guy really liked using teeth, huh? I felt him lick the bite, stinging my flesh before his tongue traced to the rim of my ass. Is… is he going to eat me out?

Well, it wasn’t a question for long. Sure enough, Alexios started lapping away despite having just came inside me. My stomach fluttered, he just kept surprising me. My cock was twitching uncontrollably, I was moments away from climaxing myself. And then he stopped, grabbing my hair by the pony tail, wrenching my body backwards. The back of my head laid on his lap, his gaze meeting min. Alexios wiped his mouth and shot me a jeering leer, sending a shiver down my spine. My heart was beating quickly as his stare moved down my body.

“Look at you, dripping like a girl would,” he taunted, flicking my cock’s head. I yelped which he seemed to like. “Let me guess, you want to cum, don’t you?”

I nodded. I’d want nothing more than to finally finish. He’s been toying with me for so long I felt numb. Usually I’d feel happier about lasting longer than my partner but this was just too much, I was losing my mind.

Alexios took my wrists in his fingers, those rough hands pinning my arms against the sheets. “Beg for it, blondie.”

I didn’t even try to fight him. I just bit my tongue and swallowed any remaining pride I had. “Please, Alex,” my voice was quivering as I spoke but who could blame me, I was desperate. “I want to cum, I need to, please let me, mate, it’s driving me mad. I need it, Alex, I feel numb. Please, please, please, let me—”

Alexios had grinned right before he slapped me across the face. Judging by the laughter, I must’ve done something right. Even so, my skin was left with yet another one of his handprints on it and I only wished he’d stop playing these games and just cut me the least bit of slack so I could just—

A knife pressed up against my throat. Alexios had pulled a switchblade from his pocket while I was recovering from his palm’s burn. My breathing changed to become shorter and more rapid. I could feel the edge grazing my skin. One slip of his fingers and my throat would be cut, be it on accident or purpose, I wouldn’t be able to tell with him. All I had to go on was that same old snide smile. His other hand stoked my hair, twirling strands around. He used the blade to tilt my chin back so I had to look down my nose at him. His thumb graced my cheek in a soothing way, almost making me forget all about the weapon in his other hand.

“You may touch yourself now, sweetheart, but keep those blue eyes of yours shut,” he whispered to me.

My heart rate was still speeding but, somehow, I managed to calm myself enough to shut my eyes and move my hands down to my groin without moving my neck, a feat harder than someone who’s never had a blade against their throat might think. My cock was peeking out the waistband of my trunks so I just finished pulling down the shorts so I could rub myself. The feeling of my fingers finally touching me was pure ecstasy. I bit my lip while I finished myself off, Alex still petting the side of my head. While I couldn’t see his face right now, I knew he was grinning from watching my spray myself with my own semen. As soon as the blade moved from my neck, I began panting like a thirsty dog to catch my breath. He swiped the blade over my abdomen carefully so he wouldn’t slice me while I breathed, though at this point I don’t think I’d have cared if he did.

Alexios patted the side of my head. “Open your eyes, my little puppy, and stick out your tongue. I’ve got a treat for you.”

I opened my eyes slowly, still panting but now with my tongue out I really felt like his mutt. In front of my face he held his switchblade, it glazed with my cum. He wiped the blade over my tongue.

“Good boy. Now, swallow.”

I did, even opening my mouth to show him, which he seemed to get a kick out of. He chuckled, rustling my hair. I smirked back at him; glad to see I had done a good job for him. He leaned back against my pillows and I rolled over on top of him, moving up his body so I could lay on his chest rather than his legs. He looked overjoyed, his forearm over his eyes while he shined a grand smile.

“Hey, Alex,” I said, trying to get his attention without success. I flicked his arm, though he didn’t even flinch. Pouting, I grabbed his jaw and pulled him to face me. “Oi, Alex.”

He looked a little surprised that I had suddenly grabbed him, but he was still grinning. “What, Goldilocks?”

Goldilocks, oh how many times I’ve heard that. “’Fraid I don’t fear you no more, mate.”

Alexios’ fingers brushed through my hair. “Aw, what a shame. Guess I’ll need to reinstate that later, huh?”

I knew I was dancing with a devil at this point, but still I gave him a cheeky smile. “I’d like to see you try.”

He and I shared a fit of giggling banter before falling asleep. When I woke up, the side of the bed he had slept on was empty. I frowned for a moment before hearing clanking coming from the kitchen and him groaning. I snickered, shaking my head. Can’t believe I was scared of him just hours ago. When I stood to go help him out with breakfast, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Torn shorts with cum staining the fabric, bruises dotted my skin alongside a few bitemarks. The worst of these marks were the bruises wrapping around my neck and my swollen ass. The shiner from the kick in the face I took yesterday wasn’t nothing either, but judging by the amount of blood Alex’s shirt was drenched with I couldn’t really complain. I changed my pants to some clean striped boxer briefs before heading into my kitchen where I found Alexios running his hand under water.

I grinned while watching him, walking towards him silently. Once behind him I slapped his ass, making the brute jump and swear. I laughed at his reaction, leaning my body up against his shoulder while he covered his face in embarrassment.

“Come to help me then, blondie?” he sighed.

I pressed my head against his shoulder and wrapped my arm around his waist. “Shit, if you’re really struggling that much to fry a couple eggs.”

He groaned at my snark, though I helped him anyway, not wanting him to burn himself making scrambled eggs again, even though his brief incompetence was kind of cute. The eggs weren’t that bad, just a tad burnt. We parted ways about an hour later, though the next day I saw him those dark eyes looked more afraid of my ability to bounce back from his beating than anything else. At last, it was my stare burning his skin, not his on mine. I grinned at him and his eyes darted away from me. He was scared of me.

Good.

#alexward #alexios #edward #assassins creed #i write #its 5:47am #im so sorry my dear sweet boy #if youre lucky i'll write a smut of you fucking arno instead of the one i want to write where roberts #ya know #tortures you senselessly #yall reading this like 'shit at least it isnt noncon'#acod #ac4

15 notes · View notes

thethirdwheel404 · 4 years ago

Text

Med Rewatch Series (#1)

Right, monkey brain said no sleep no rest, only suffering at the hands of med.

I am going to start with the first episode of S2: Soul Care. Reasoning? I need to check if Latham references Ava in his first interaction with Connor.

If my memory serves me right, when Connor is passed over to Latham for his fellowship, Latham says that he was not his first choice. In fact, his first choice was a brilliant surgeon from South Africa. In the first episode of S2, a season where Ava Bekker is only introduced with one line at the end of the last episode.

If I remember correctly and Latham does actually say that in the first ep of s2, it will be huge for the continuity (and my theory that I came up with today, if you’re interested in following this you should really read that really long post that came a little before this where the basis of the theory is laid out).

Also in rewatching this I see more of Sarah which, again, I have not seen in two years, and she was the reason I became invested in the show, and the reason I stopped watching after she left.

And all of this even before I start the episode.

There are so many emotions and thoughts running through my brain it literally hurts. I think i’m getting a headache. I’m already really regretting this, this cannot be healthy for me.

(btw, this will basically be a train of thought type thing, I’ll do my best to keep it coherent)

- omg its starting

- i completely forgot how s1 ended but its not importnat in anyway

- just, why are they in a helicopter

- how fast does the episode move ive forgotten and i need to know

-JESUS CHRIST SO DRAMATIC

- THE BEGINNING WITH WILL WHY

- it is at this point where I apologize to all those who made it this far bc we’re literally not even 30 seconds in yet

- i just have a lot of med thoughts

- oh god save me

- i am laughing hysterically

- JESUS CHRIST THE APRIL TB STORYLINE AND TATE WTF

- god that feels like a lifetime ago it was relevant holyshit

-remember when she was pregnant?

- literally what have I missed

- side note, i really like the cup april drinks out of.

-THERE SHE IS

-SARAH

-SHE’S HERE

-and she’s a barista

-literally wtf is this show

-and the dramatic music is still going literally chill man god

-THE WAY SARAH SMILES HOLY SHITTTT come on man there was literally no way i’d survive this but fuck not even a minute in...

- okay but i never understood charles’ family scenario but this is already too fucking long for a minute in so i hope we can just skip past that

-hahahah sharon’s fucking divorce? holy shit, this is too dramatic for the first ep literally save me (at least she acts well)

-yeah the one thing I will say about med (thats a lie ive already said a hundred but yk) is that for the crap storylines and all, the actors take what they’re given and give it their all and i appreciate it so much

-the helicopter’s number is N365UCC and just... succ

-ethans bird (!)

-also the fact that’s so big for ethan to be chief resident is so weird to me. like the last medical drama I watched was greys and they are all like grizzled veterans and have been doing that stuff for actual decades and i tend to put med and greys on like the same level bc they are the only medical dramas ive watched but.. holy crap the people on med are so young?? half their main cast is med students and residents. when nearly every main character on greys is a department head. its wild.

-proud of ethan. proud of my boy (did you know that adam jacobs who played aladdin on broadway was in a s3 episode? fun facts) (fun fact: did you know that ava is the only main character on the show who’s status is now deceased? I’ll shut up now.)

-oh my god i say roland buck III’s name and GOD noah jesus

- i find noah incredibly annoying, especially bc he tries to overshadow reese (my fav) but also just bc hes spoiled [that thing that said that one of the biggest mistakes med made was not having sarah get the emergency med residency at the end of s1 comes to mine, and the fact that noah got his residency easy peasy] - but, i will say that the moment at the end of this season where noah and reese dance together at the party is very adorable. (pre reesker brain showing lmao I really did love sarah with my whole heart) (moreover my snapchat memories were filled with just recordings of reese scenes lmaooooo)

-okay at this point I need to stop once i get to the potential ava thing bc what is happening we’re not even two minutes in why is this so long. (so many thoughts)

- i find will annoying but,,, he is kind of nice to look at. and what i mean is like facial acting (i am a lesbian). like. just. don’t speak. and when he’s being a good character he’s fine. it’s very few and very far between ig

-natalie annoys me so much and shes only had one line, and it wasn’t even a character line, it was mainly exposition.

-EW

-FUCKING EW

-ITS CONNOR HE’S HERE. god i forgot what he looked like in red scrubs and his poofy hair. child compared to s3 and s4. hopefully we see latham soon so we all don’t have to suffer through this. and he looks so angsty. he definetly glowed up in the later seasons.

- i have no clue how to spell definetly. I am guessing literally everytime.

-latham please come and end this all.

-oh haha there’s downey hes dead.

-okay so i actually watched s1 after i watched s2 which is so weird to think about. like that means that i liked s2 so much that i BOUGHT THE DVD FOR S1. yeah. I liked it that much (it really only means I was that much of a simp for sarah). but it also means that technically i watched s1 after i met ava?? like i honestly had NO CLUE what was in my future. did young me ever think she was going to stay up late at night, avoiding history hw while analyzing a defunct character from this show on a whim? a character i was super annoyed with at the beginning? who has no become a huge part of my personality? honestly? no. no she did not.

-and the story with downey was so jarring. and the story with zanetti. like i think i first started watching with the first ep of s2 (the one im talking about rn) and i was a bit lost. so going back and watch s1 to like connect the dots. but i never expected the dots to look like that. its like each season of this show is a completely different show from all the other seasons. like i’ve said before, this show is a headache. but literally latham please come and end this for now.

-GOD CONNOR LOOKS SO YOUNG WHAT THE HELL thats so weird lmaooooo

- like i had absolutely no clue who downey was going into this. and they they started talking like ‘oh yeah he killed his attending’ and i was just like ‘damn bro ill cheers to that’

- that’s literally ava’s first line actually. “i heard your girlfriend went insane and you murdered your attending.” - which was why she was hated at first. that was literally her first line to connor which is like, so hilariously rude that it was instantly iconic.

-also HAHAHAHAH CUE FUCKING ANGST ABOUT CONNOR HURTING EVERYONE AROUND HIM WTF BRO THE EFFECT YOU HAVE ON PEOPLE

- but i’m also sad now. --- “I heard your girlfriend went insane.” Oh. Oh, sweetie. Ava... No. --- but why does s2 ava (all two lines) foreshadow s4 ava in so many ways. like literally what were the writers on.

-baghdad.

-ah yes. the return of baghdad. been a long time since i heard that one, but it is easily one of my favorite running things about med. its just a little detail but the nick name is like perfect. (when i read fanfic where the chars are actually doing doctor stuff in the hospital it makes me light up) the WORLD BUILDINGGGGG. but whatever

-this is the girl who has the fake baby right? that was a really good ep (bc sarah content. can you see my favorites? for the same reason the one where the girl has split personalities easily ranks high with me.) oh wait this is the one where the dad like dies but then comes back for a split second to see his grand child. there’s not really a lot I can say about that, but the fact that i remember it vividly is... weird.

-okay but I actually love the ED in this show. I love how the show is centered around the ED and not the OR like greys. its fast paced, you see a lot about the characters really quickly (one of the reason’s connor’s intro to the hospital in the pilot is certified iconic in my mind [his interactions with will are gold]). the team works well together (usually, when things are good. - which is another reason I hated the show more as time went on. The personal lives interfered more and more and more with their work as time went on. it got so annoying). but like right here will just calls maggies name and maggie is just On It. I love it. I love the fast pace. it’s why this show got me to come back. so many things happen, it overloads my brain, like the way a video game works y occupying all of your attention.

-when is the dad gonna pass out i’m just waiting

-AHAHAHAHAHA JEFF NOOOOO. what even was the deal with jeff that storyline annoyed me so much I never got it. he was friends with nat’s husband (who died) and they were both named Jeff? and she actually ended up getting with Jeff a few times?

- the more you watch med and see how the characters get with each other, the more jaded you become

-omg they’re transferring the girl to the bed i love it when they count

-maggie was great but from what i heard/read they ruined her character too??? just not the same

-lmao only real g’s remember the chicago fire backdoor med pilot (if you want an explanation ask me lmao it was a ride)

- i was a real med simp bc I bought that episode on apple video.

-ahahaha this is so stupid. Jeff tries to do things and Will (being a fucking asshole and jealous, doesnt’ let him). he’s a med student let him fucking learn. also i remember why i hated will

-okay but if you look at greys vs. med, greys literally gives their med students no rights. scratch that. they give they’re interns little to no rights. (i only watched the last three seasons bc lesbian, but in those seasons they introduce the bottom of the totem pole, the sub I’s, who are a step ahead of med students, yet they are jokes on the show.) its just a weird juxtaposition is all.

-”lungs are wet.” dramatic music intensifies.

-OKAY BUT I LITERALLY FORGOT NATALIE SPECIALIZED IN PEDS. LIKE I COMPLETELY 100% FORGOT. HOLY SHIT THATS SO FUNNY i can’t believe in my mass hyperfixation i forgot, just more proof that she doesn’t deserve anything.

-why did will make nat do that call? also idk why but is it weird to anyone else when the characters call each other but just.. their names.

-ahahahah i laugh literally everytime i remember that will is supposed to be in charge like he is threatened by anything that MOVES. (also more juxtapositon to greys bc here the attendings are treated as a joke!)

- hly shit i just remember monday mourning and god damn the angst literally never takes a day off but whatever.

- i dont usually get like this but the dad’s acting here is actually making me sad lol. Usually i get annoyed when family members get emotional (im weird uhhhh)

-why did we have to watch the tube being put in for so long - med is so dramatic this fucking show whyyyy

- i bet u the dad is gonna pass out

-oh ig not oops

-OKAY FUCK ME THAT LITERALLY ONLY TOOK US TO THE TITLES HOW DO I HAVE THESE MANY FUCKING THOUGHTS.

-wait latham introduction we may just be able to call it here.

-haha i fucking hate him (connor). he just... comes off so fake-charming its annoying. i cant get over it lmao

-okay but literally every gives connor shit and I am here for it. Latham: “did you kill him?”

- it is literally so funny but annoy how connor throws hands with literally everyone in his path (like dude just chill come onnn)

-okay. okay. okay. finally the part i was waiting for.

- Latham: I preferred a young woman from Groote Schuur, but I was outvoted.

That’s an actual quote, from Latham. For those who are wondering, Groote Schuur is a famous hospital in, you guessed it, South Africa. This is where I’m calling the episode. This is all I needed.

I just want to restate. This is the first episode of season 2. Ava Bekker is introduced to the show in the last episode of season 2. What does this mean, my friends? It means everything.

For those of you who stuck through to the end, I am very thankful. Here we have probably the first piece of evidence to my theory, at least chronologically.

I, personally, think it’s absurd I remembered this point, but I did. That point, that line, presently, watching this episode with no idea of what the future holds, is only there to tell us that Latham and Connor are not going to agree. But this is the single greatest piece of foreshadowing med has ever done.

Med has never planned anything. I feel confident when I say that. Look at their storylines. They are literally on fire, and every decision the characters make reads like the writers going ‘we have no idea how we made it this far, we thought we would get stopped like ten steps ago.’

When has med ever planned things more than a few episodes in advanced, honestly? Almost never, and going a full season sitting on a plot point, that’s major. This was the first time med has ever planned something miles in advance.

In all honestly, yes I am probably giving the med writers a lot more credit than they deserve. It’s quite possible that as the season progressed they just decided connor needed a new love interest or at least a new dynamic, so they could have just easily looked back and thought ‘oh, hey, here’s a fun little thing we said earlier in the season, wouldn’t it be fun if it paid off?’ That could be true.

Here’s why it probably isn’t. The med writers have no respect for their own continuity. you really think that, in order to come up with a whole new character, they went back to the first episode of the season and paid off a line that is said in less than 2 seconds? no way. Bull. Shit.

honestly, it is probably equally unlikely that either of these things happened. The med writers don’t look back at their story. It’s true, but they also don’t plan things in advance either.

here’s the thing, the more i write, the more absurd it starts to sound. Yeah. Sure. the med writers sat on a character for an entire season, that’s totally a thing that happened and not sarcasm. When pigs fly. everyone knows med is impulsive and messy. But what I am saying is that they planned one thing. One thing.

Ava has an accent. That was a commitment. A pretty uncommon one too. South Africa is such an out of the box choice that god its barely on the map. It asks a lot of someone to act hard while also doing an uncommon accent. If the med writers just decided they needed to give connor a new dynamic, they could have made it a n y o n e. Yeah, sure it would have been nice to have the latham dynamic with the new character, but it would have been so much easier to just create a new character that doesn’t have such a commitment. We all know people who play opposite of Connor Rhodes do not stay around that long.

There is absolutely no reason Connor’s s3 love interest had to be the girl from South Africa. It could have literally been anyone. They could have kept Robin on. They could have made the new character not have so many specific requirements.

At this point, I’m pushing this really hard. Yeah, obviously Ava was planned from the beginning of s2. She had to be. It’s way too specific to be anything else.

What I’m pointing out here is med has never done that before. (at least to my knowledge, if i’m wrong please tell me i don’t want to be a fool) They have never had such a concrete plan for a character, so much as to tease them a full season before they were introduced.

I’m saying, that Ava was special. She was the only character who was teased ahead of her arrival. The one who they knew they wanted, other than the originals, and honestly saying the ‘knew what they wanted to do with the originals’ is being generous. But Ava was different. They had big plans for Ava.

It’s undeniable. Ava was the only character who was planned and teased ahead of her arrival. Ava has such a different style and character than anyone else on the show. She was always planned to be, even when she was just being teased, a rival to connor, meaning she could stand her own against him (or without him).

Now of course, the med writers forgot this when writing s4 and s5. But for the purposes of the important things, all that really matters are the two mentions in s2, and what happens in s3. (for the theory at least).

In conclusion: think about how odd it is that Ava was the only character that was planned over the course of the show. Like sure the characters are planned, but never this far in advance. Med writers don’t really plan anything. I would be shocked if they did anything but through a dart at a spinning wheel. But they had plans for Ava, and they had plans for s3, when she was good.

Think about how odd it is that the med writers had a character planned from the start of s2, that they sat on for a whole season. They never, ever did something so slow and deliberate. Never. It goes against their formula. Like a fucking shark, they have to be moving or they die, at least in their heads. But Ava was always a change to the formula. They had a plan for s3.

that’s it for now. we will see what happens when i watch the last episode of s2.

read the next parts:

Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra

#chicago med #med rewatch series #mine #soul care #ava bekker

1 note · View note