#they still do even four years later
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do you think jenna marbles knows how appreciated and irreplaceable her presence on youtube was? does she know that she mastered the craft of making a video feel like hanging out with a treasured friend? do you think she knows that she was one of the last youtubers to feel genuine in her craft, making videos for the fun of it rather than making everything polished, elaborate, and distanced? does she know that even four years later we still miss her? does she know that an era of the internet ended when she left? i hope she knows we saw her. i hope she's having a great time.
#i have yet to find someone who can make me feel how her videos made me feel#its not even anything particularly intense#its just a feeling of comfort#her videos felt like company#they still do even four years later#and this isnt me saying i dont get why she left or that i want her to come back#(in a very self serving way i do miss her)#(but for the most part i just hope she's having fun)#everything else feels so....capitalist in a way thats hard to pinpoint#and its not like i have no youtubers i like i have many many many#but none of them really fill the spot that she left#its all a little too clean#a little tooooo professional#that one day film/edit/upload just had such a vibe#her videos feel like old home tapes#sigh i miss her#jenna marbles#oh shush#youtube#youtubers
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Lrb dear god, this reminded me of that time when Alfred-chan got sooooo mad at my post explaining why fans should respect bisexual headcanons for Maria and Malenia instead of pretending like they're canonically lesbians and that they get oppressed and erased by mxf ships with them. They kept vagueing that post for like a MONTH in their blog including in tags under reblogs of Maria fanart, passively-aggressively changed their url to character+sexuality to "spite" me and then even made a sockpuppet account to start shit with me in the comments.
They deactivated when me and Val completely obliterated their "you cultivate lesbiphobic following by telling people why they should respect all sexuality headcanons instead of acting cultish or assuming their experiences and stereotypes equal canon confirmation" garbage with actual facts and logic tho but I screenshotted everything fjthfgfj (I learned to document everything the hard way after they've changed the she/they pronouns to they/they pronouns ONLY to accuse me of misgendering, so thank you for making me wiser I guess đ). Even more vile, as they, a white person, larped as an Arab in that sockpuppet to hold even MORE "privilege" against me in discussion gjtjfh Because for them race, gender or sexuality are just badges of honor and dishonor, they don't see these as traits of actual human beings. And Dr Eugene X, who worked with them and weaponized her race to accuse everyone who disagreed with her of racism, didn't bat an eye at such a terrible act too?? As usual, rules are not for their friends, lol
It is not even the worst thing Alfred did, and yet all of this just, just, JUST because I wrote a point on why bisexual headcanon people did nothing wrong and there is no ground to claim something is canon when it isn't. đ¤Śââď¸ Like, they were soooo convinced that I hated lesbian headcanons and that I'd feel angry if they called Lady Maria a lesbian, when what I was angry at is this exact toxic behavior in the fandom. No matter how much you like a headcanon, don't be a bitch about it. Maria doesn't """belong""" to any gender or sexuality, she belongs to anyone who likes her and is invested in her complexity as a character!!!
Yet, apparently, common Malenia simps / Finlay shippers are no better than common Maria simps / Mariadeline shippers. Just, wild how after shit like this, many people have the guts to claim that it is "sexist redditbros" who are the biggest problem of creators in the fandom. đ¤Śââď¸ They'd actually blush if they encountered what such self-proclaimed "feminists" do to their own (!!!) over headcanons. đ¤Śââď¸đ¤Śââď¸đ¤Śââď¸
#also fuck anna for thinking shit like this and way worse things alfred did is not as evil and toxic as#as me snapping at her for DEFENDING alfred#wiki: I can excuse stalking harassment cultish shunning bullying fantomette lying slander weaponizing identity but-#-I draw the line at katy getting too emotional when I admit as much uwu#granted she did admit that the reason for this is because alfred didnt concern her personally#she is probably the person I'll forgive last in this situation if ever#as much as I hate alfred they clearly have no empathy and compassion and lie for medical reasons#it isn't my assumptions they often reblogged this shit#I know mental illness is not an excuse for so much harassment for variety of reasons but-#-why would someone want to change if they medically can't feel guilt for their actions?#I feel bad for them and they hopefully will get help#as for Eugene idk... they seem to be a typical brainwashed youth#such people either change with age or get strongly bitten in the ass and get reality check#granted people who still follow her did admit she goes head hunting and then plays victim#as well as they only keep in touch because they worry they'll be dragged down if they are not at her good side#rather than because they like her posts (which are so untrue to BB that she can just make OCs anyways)#choir boy is literally just mindless sheep that didnt even have dignity to make it personal#hence is the name#I am sure he is lovely in his own circle it just doesn't concern me or my friend#but anna?#she knew what she was doing and has no excuse#fandomry rambles#it is also funny how they are four cringe failures and us are four based people#best AND worst groups come in four lol#also I know you all are dying to know how I can still hold grudges year later right?#it is hard to explain#I live normally and recover and not think of it but then scar starts to hurt#like you know how physical scars can react to weather or shit? mental can too
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genuinely why is there so much misinformation about the guardians of childhood book series?
#Lemme be a toxic fan for a moment bc im so tired and stressed and i need to yell my silly fandom frustrations out to the void#The people saying Jack is fourteen in them. No.#He can manipulate his age from 11 to 18 and is dating a 25 yr old#people still insist that the books are connected to the movie despite there being no possibility for that since 2018#And like they totally guess what happens in the books#I saw someone try to say that dreamworks were being 'weird' and aged Jack up to ship him with tooth but in the books he was a child#three things: He's not fourteen (see above for age. He's essentially an adult and is treated as such) and is dating an adult#And he didn't make an official appearance in the books until 2018. Six years AFTER the movies release#and thirdly dreamworks aged him DOWN????#Joyce's og idea was an adult with a wife + kids ???#Like what are you talking about#never mind the people insisting that JACK IS 12???? NO??? Where did you get ur information bc wtf???#the movie started production (in 2008) before any of the books even existed (first book was published in 2011)#We have no idea how much of the books they had! The most they had were Joyce's ideas that were subject to change (and boy did they change)#the walking eggs in the movie didn't come from the book (even tho they're in there) they came from Joyce's doodling on notes!#The third book published alongside the movie tie-in books and then days later the finished film premiered at the Mill Valley Film Festival#by the time the second book rolled around (2012) the movie was probably finished and was just getting distributed by paramount and#was possibly even finished in 2011! Four years of production of the movie and then the first book got released#I cannot express enough how much the books are not the source material for the movie. If anything is it's the 2005 short film Joyce made#God it's so infuriating to see people discussing the books like they're the Bible without having read it. I get so irrationally upset#And why are we talking about the books like they have any relevance to the movie after 2018? that book completely severed all ties#Like I get it if people want to connect them but you'd have to ignore the entire last book to do that (which yeah most do)#but there's so many assumptions about the books and it makes it clear who got their into from fan rumors and who actually read them#if you are basing ur understanding of a book you've never read based on fanfic maybe you just shouldnât say anything about the book#rotg#rise of the guardians#guardians of childhood#goc
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Watch out I'm getting emotional about the steven universe fandom mutuals again
#ax speaks#uyesueueruggrghu#even if we've never really talked they all mean so much to me#i felt so welcome in that community despite being so small#and even now#four years later#i cry every time#i love all of you#i really do#you're the family i needed then and still care about so much now
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yknow it is crazy to think about how much i have been able to improve my quality of life by selling art as a supplementary form of income. like obviously it's a second job and it's taxing but it's also so rewarding to know how much people enjoy my work and how much good it is doing me to like, feel like i can buy snacks at the store. to be able to get takeout every once in a while. like obviously those are extremely minor changes or things most people take for granted but to me it's huge. having berries in the house when they're out of season and more expensive. buying things for CONVENIENCE??! it feels so crazy to me to have such a sense of luxury which i know says more about the bleak feeling of poverty that's followed me around my entire adult life than anything else but i feel so much gratitude that i am afforded these small luxuries at least in part because of people that like my art. not to mention how nice is is to make things consistently again when, prior to 2020, i hadn't made art regularly in almost a decade. anyway. it's cool!
#of course there are extenuating circumstances! i finished my student loans in 2020 with help from family#i moved to a cheaper place in 2020. i get paid more now than i did then; even though i'm only working four days a week#obviously i am not RICH; i cannot afford to live by myself. housing here is crazy. but i can buy MEAT at the STORE#not only do i have SNACKS in the house i also have MULTIPLE KINDS! do you know how crazy that is.#and now of course a lot of it is combatting my wicked sense of guilt for buying anything i dont 'need'. like snacks.#but obviously i still buy them i just make myself feel bad about it for a while first. lmao#i mean i haven't done my taxes for 2023 yet who knows maybe i'll be hit with some big fees and i'll take this all back#but idk you gotta be grateful. anyway i think i'm gonna order pizza later#chatpost#i used patreon money to buy a new desk chair a couple years ago. a NEW one!! not one from the street!
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so. uhh. any rgg meetups at animenext this weekend or đĽ´
#snap chats#GOOD MORNING IM CRYING#years ago i got tickets for animenext but due to covid the event was cancelled and i couldnt go#WELL I JUST. I JUST GOT LET KNOWN I HAVE TICKETS? FOR THREE DAYS AND ITS LEGIT?#LIKE I CHECKED EVERY WAY POSSIBLE AND YEAH NO. THESE ARE VALID TICKETS. WHATLKVJLEKJ#go to an event four damn years later OK..... idk if ill stay all three days since i dont have a hotel obvi but i could sleep in my car ig#i done did it before its fine đĽ´#anyway idk who to cosplay or if i even will cosplay#on the one hand i could do y2 daigo again like i did for animenyc#doing masato however would mean i wouldnt have to do as much makeup...... he also does not have any cheekbones like me đ#unlike daigo's gorjus face#my mine cosplay aint supposed to be ready til july so.... thats out of the window LMAO#eh. prob would be best to just do daigo actually now that im thinkin of it esp when no one even remembers masato â ď¸#idk thats something for me to figure out im still just laughing at this whole thing like jvlkvlkj
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ok actually yeah. i really need to do dishes and go to bed and not stay up late mentalillnessposting a little too viscerally on tumblr the night before i facilitate a workshop in front of the literal president of the university and the vp of my division (LOL about that btw. actively shitting my pants.) but oh my GOD. so saying goodbye to lia was actually fine in the moment. neither of us cried and we talked about all the ways weâll still be in each others lives and reasons weâll have to interact in the near future. and she gave me an extremely heartfelt thoughtful gift and we left on a very hopeful note and i felt better and content bc thereâs still the rest-of-life and weâll see each other there. but like an hour before that as i mentioned i was HYSTERICALLY sobbing. in full view of people i know AND people i donât. and i just sat there and sobbed while everything carried on around me. everything carried on around me!!! and i feel like im about to sob again thinking about it.
#purrs#delete later#idk. i typed a bunch here and then deleted it and now idk what to say. i just feel so lonely. i have had fucked up relationships with every#single older adult in my life and never had someone who could a) stay in my life b) be consistently present in my life c) meet my emotional#needs d) actually See me and accept me for who i am. Like not one person who can be all four of those things. and i have to be all four of t#those things for myself now because im 24 and i missed my chance. but how fucking shitty and painful is that? especially after a year like t#this. the way itâs literally ending the SAME way last year did. huge scary promotion (which i havenât even talked about on here or to anyone#but lia today actually. but it might be huger and scarier than i thought. which is good but also HUGE -âd scary. and not a bad thing of bc o#course but itâs so fucking⌠perilous? like it makes me feel profoundly imperiled because i have extremely good reason to feel that way. and#i have to endure the mortifying ordeal of applying for my own job AGAIN after the first time was so horrible. lol) and also losing a beloved#mentor figure who understood me in a way no one else did which mattered immensely even if they couldnât do the whole presence thing or#whatever. and now i only have one older adult in my life left (aside from my therapist who doesnât really count bc i only see her once a#week and we barely know each other still) who is like. here and helping me and i KNOW i am so sick in the head i KNOW and i should not be#writing it but every single day i am fucking terrified that i am being or will be separated from him emotionally or physically jsut like all#the others so. LOL!!!!! i am normal and well adjusted. but itâs like so fucking painful because im grasping at straws but again the reality#is im 24 and the only people on this earth who it is fair for me to expect all 4 from and who shouldâve provided it to me are my parents.#and i missed my chance with them forever and now i have to do it myself. and thatâs ok sometimes and i can handle it⌠except in the moments#where im sobbing hysterically and everything carries on. when i am in my darkest moments i want to run to an older adult and have them#comfort me but i truly cannot do that with any of the ones i still have left / regularly interact with for so many reasons. and itâs so#painful it makes me sick sometimes. and now i have to be the romy and the lia i wish to see in this world. but how can i do that when i#havenât finished grieving over them leaving which feels like leaving ME â NOW â in this moment when i have never needed more support of that#kind more. how can isummon it within myself. im not ready yet. i need a long hug and a hand to hold that wonât (have to) let go. when im#crying i need someone to take me somewhere and comfort me and calm me down. and im 24 so i canât ask for it. but oh my god i need it. and i#missed my chance. and lia left today and she only ever did that for me metaphorically but⌠tonight i feel more alone than ever.#and itâs like i donât even have the emotional intelligence or whatever to ASK for that. bc im playing by ear and i donât know how to read#the music of it. im self taught. that fucking sucks. that SUCKSSS. also thatâs too strong a way to put it liek obviously my friends who are#closer to my age are INTEGRAL to me being able to function and i learn from them and cherish their support. but just like i canât be a mom#to me my friends canât either. so itâs like what the fuck do i do. get steamrolled by relentless grief and rage every day i guess.#also side note. everything carried on when i was in brighton too. i came home early ofc but itâs like nothing changed in my absence. and#that has fucked me up SUPREMELY. i think that might be a root of it. like hm⌠it seems my presence doesnât have impacts. but idk
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My life will never be the same again hbu
#madre solo hay dos#ana servĂn#mariana herrera#shitty screencap posts (TM)#WHAT IN THE EARTH WIND AND FIRE is going on on this show??????#hand to my heart I NEVER in a million years would have imagined that 1) these two would end up getting to know each other in a biblical way#but also more importantly 2) that it would happen where there are still six episodes left???? truly a game-changer lmao#I don't even know what to do with this like I wanted this for so long and the show just like... gave it to me???#I'm about to die aren't I that's the only plausible explanation#real talk though I'm kinda relieved that it happened when they were both utterly hammered from that santa perpetua tequila (hee)#because during my week of speculation of what 'an intimate encounter' could mean#I kept going back to the fact that per the teasers and trailer we know mariana eventually moves in with ferrĂĄn#so I was kinda worried that ana would get attached and get her heart broken while mariana goes to live her best life with her boyfriend#but this way it's clear they're BOTH gonna explain it away as like 'we were super drunk it didn't really mean anything right?'#and no one's really gonna get hurt (from THIS particular turn of events I mean idk about later when mariana gets with ferrĂĄn)#so once again the show manages to do things in the LEAST annoyingly painful way possible four for you show you go show#lastly from the moment paulina's song was attached to the show I kinda hoped it would be used in a meaningful ana/mariana moment#perhaps the moment they got together for real (if that's where the show wants to take things)#but then in the past week I thought that maybe it would play over whatever the 'intimate encounter' in this episode ended up being#AND I WAS RIGHT love that for me#I also loved that from the moment we knew they went to shoot something outside of mexico city with just ana and mariana#I kinda hoped it would lead to a romantic development between them of some kind and man did I ever get more than I bargained for#started from the bottom and now we're here!!!!!!
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Well.
Of course I'm missing her today
#the void screams#FUCK#i just had spotify playing a random radio and a song came on that i listened to with her#it was only like. twice. in the car. but we did listen to it together.#i didn't even recognize the song at first#and then the fucking thing not only reminded me of her but of course the song that does so is 'miss me more'#because yeah i do still miss me. i still miss the me i was before her and the one before her and the one before her.#i miss the me i never really got to know and i still don't know who i am or if i'll be able to find her again.#i miss the me that was unapologetically happy.#and now i'm crying alone in my room because i was reminded of her again and it hurts and why does it STILL HURT#is it dumb that i still have to avoid her music? i don't--i don't even know what i#i hate that she's still hurting me four years later. i hate that i don't know if she even knew she was doing it#i hate that i'm not mad at her. i hate that i want to be mad. what the fuck is wrong with me.
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you know Iâm going to be honest, I donât think thereâs any trick that bumps up your chances of getting a job. I don't think tweaking your resume, dumping buzzwords into a cover letter, applying on the company website vs recruiter sites, or emailing after applying makes literally any difference. After a couple years and literally hundreds of job applications I've sent in, I'm pretty sure they were all essentially lottery tickets I threw in a hat, and the only people that have a better chance than that are getting hired by friends/family that are already in a company. I honestly don't think applicants could be doing any more than we are. We're just being failed constantly.
#It's not even interviews that are my problem bc I only got 3 of those.#four counting the one i have later this week. which as i previously mentioned was set up by an AI bot. so i wasn't 'picked' exactly#the only explanation I can think of other than 'there's like 200x as many ppl applying for jobs than actual jobs' is that i'm getting#automatically filtered out bc I don't have a driver's license. but I specifically avoid applying to stuff that requires that. idk#im coming up w a fuckin conspiracy theory that my name is on some '(r word) 28 year old that doesnt have a license' registry#bc like. literally why else. im qualified for at least 95% of the shit I apply to. im in a college town which makes me doubt that other ppl#here have more experience than me (despite the fact I've only been employed for a cumulative like. 3 years. still more than most 20yo's)#and like this is a 1. white 2.citizen 3.with a diploma 4.without criminal record and 5. able bodied enough to do physical work#im ranting
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talking about impenetrable accents/dialect just reminded me. when I was in Milan a couple of years back I was staying in this little rathole hotel and I had the biggest fucking migraine, so I was like non c'è problema I'll just go buy painkillers. of course every pharmacy on the map in a three block radius was closed, so my stupid ass just starts wandering around trying to figure out on the fly if you can get OTC from supermarkets in italy.
I walk into this little everything store (to my foreign eyes the kind of place that back home could sell you a bunch of carrots, a 6-pack of beer, pantyhose, bleach and a screwdriver set) and I see some household basics in the back but not what I need. with the confidence of a person who is only in the city for 3 days because he got bored and packed a bag and booked the cheapest flight available the week before (<= MENTAL ILLNESS), I was like no worries I know some italian, I can just ask.
I grab a bottle of water, walk up to the counter, and I'm like Ciao, hai il paracetamolo? And the guy is like che, and I'm like paracetamolo. Per la mia testa. And he's like che?
This is where I would have said 'aspirina' except I can't take aspirin for medical reasons, or 'antidolorifico' except I don't know that word and I've got no phone data for google translate and also I'm stupid. So in my fucked up leith-glasgow-italian accent I'm like paaa-ra-cetta-mollll-ooo. He's like ohhh bene, bene, and he calls another guy out of the back and asks him to go get something. Other guy then walks out of the store into the street, and before I can be like hey, che la fuck, he comes back and hands me a huge bundle of herbs.
At this point I'm like okay this entire interaction has been a bust, but these guys have been very nice and patient and they're both smiling happily at me because they've been of service, so I'm like ahh perfetto, grazie, pay them a couple of euros and leave.
EVENTUALLY I find a pharmacy that's open, and my head is fucking killing me, and my phone still isn't connecting, and now I have this small shrubbery poking out of my coat pocket, so I don't even bother looking around the shelves. I just walk straight to the counter and I'm like uhh ciao, scusi. And hearing my nightmare of an accent the guy answers in english and I'm like thank christ, do you please have paracetamol. Not aspirin, I can't take aspirin. And he's like yeah yeah hold on, goes into the back, comes out with what I need.
Only when he comes out he gives me this look, and then he starts laughing. And then he pretends he's not laughing and rings me up and I pay, and as I'm leaving I can see him losing it. But I don't care, my head is going to explode, I'm going back to the rathole to close the blinds and fall comatose for four hours.
When I get back to my hotel room I take off my coat and remember the huge bouquet of herbs in my pocket. They smell amazing, and I'm like I'm pretty sure this is parsley in which case I can just get some tomatoes and mozzarella later and make it work. but since I have no idea what that interaction was, I want to make sure. I bring out my phone to get a visual reference of what parsley leaves look like, and because I was using it for google translate earlier I put 'parsley' in the wrong box like a dope and translate it to italian.
prezzemolo
I wish I could have been the pharmacist in the moment he looked at my tired pissed off anglophone ass, heard me say 'paracetamol' in my fucked up accent, and turned around saw what was in my pocket. I'd have lost my shit too.
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#âlemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of themâ .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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The Way You Kiss Me - G.S.
Synopsis. The four times Satoru tries really hard not to kiss you - his best friendâs pretty younger sister. And the one time he doesnât.
Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! Suguruâs sister! reader, childhood enemies to lovers, PINING Satoru, like really really disgustingly down bad, creampĂe, oral (fem receiving), pĂşssytalking, needy JEALOUS! Satoru, running away from it, spĂtting, punching is Suguruâs love language, mentions of aIcohol, pet names, swearing.
Word count. 7.4k (Thatâs wild)
A/N. BOO! Surprise upload. This was so fun to write omg.
âYou sure this is how the grown-ups get married?â
âDuh, I know everything.â
âNuh uh, Toru.â
âYuh uh!â
The first time Gojo Satoru kissed you was underneath that dingy playground slide that the two of you always raced to after elementary school.Â
Usually, your older brother, Suguru, would walk home alongside you two - but this time, heâd just so happened to have been held back for throwing paper planes at the teacher that day.
A sign from the universe, Satoru internally celebrated, something heâd learned from those sappy romance novels his mother left lying around the house. No matter that he was the one that made those planes.
You were six back then, standing in front of a determined Satoru - reaching up on his tip-toes, face pink, smelling of those cheap strawberry lollipops heâd sneak into class and taunt you with. At the much older and wiser age of seven, heâd insisted on being the first one to lean in.
Just barely even grazing your dramatically puckered lips before-
Satoru learned two things that fateful afternoon:
Even as a seven-year-old, Suguruâs punches really hurt.Â
Never mess with you. Anyone but you.Â
Life only seemed to go downhill from there - because that last lesson was proving to be hard along the years. Really. Fucking. Hard.
Little did Satoru know that this would be the start of some strange, unpredictable little dance of push and pull. No, you definitely werenât his wife. Nor were you exactly best friends - not really, that spot was reserved for your brother. But you didnât think you could ever be just that either.
And the punch thatâd knocked his wobbly tooth out onto the playground floor that day was a painful reminder that whatever that was - whatever weird thoughts he had later in middle school about how youâd tasted like candy - didnât matter. No matter how part some tucked-away little part of him wanted it to.
Hell, eleven years later and Satoru still canât walk around that familiar block without feeling slightly queasy. Which is why, after that failed first kiss, he knew there wouldnât be a second.Â
Instead, he settles back to teasing your pouty self, pushing all your buttons, tugging on those cute dresses you wore. Face burning so strangely with- humiliation? when you bickered right back, calling his haircut a âtragic attempt at modern art.â
âSo youâre saying I look like art?â A gangly, now-seventeen Satoru blocks the bustling high school hallway, ignoring the bell. Grin only growing at your frustrated huff, he half-jokes, âAww, if youâre that soft on me, sweetheart, maybe we should go to prom tog-â
You slam your locker, effectively shutting both it and Satoru at the same time. âIâd rather go with Yaga.â
â...you would not.â
âWould to.â
âWould not.â
âWould to.â
âWould- Suguâ!â
And all Suguru can do is wrap two hands around his neck, mock-choking himself, wondering if it was really too late to embrace a quiet life as a monk. âYouâll both be MLA cited in my farewell note.â
He was used to it, though, forced to watch all this chaos since quickly mending his friendship with Satoru over ice cream the day after the punch. Convinced that this was some punishment for a past lifeâs misdeed.
With a squawk of protest, Satoruâs turning back to you, eyes crinkling with a hint of mischief you knew too well, âWould not.â
Your face burns, âWould to, Toru.â
You didnât go with Yaga. but Satoru didnât exactly count that as a win in his books, either, because you did show up that night hanging off the arm of some jerk from the football team.Â
And there you were, all dolled up - which he very objectively noted - way too prettily for some bastard like him. Stars in your eyes, and everything he couldnât have in that smile.Â
Everything.Â
Way too gorgeous, even when he finds you sitting outside the gymnasium later on in the night. Too busy bawling your mascara off to even throw out your usual greeting insult his way. Murmuring out wetly about âthat assholeâ and how he humiliated you by stranding you in the middle of the dance floor for someone else.Â
âWell, he was a jerk anyway. Even Yaga wouldâve been better, hell, I-â Satoru stops short to his horror at the way you only cry harder.
Way too irresistible, especially as his body moves before his mind - holding out an open hand before he knows it. âIâm a much better dancer than him and you.â And oh Satoru will forever remember the way his heart lurches as you blink your teary eyes up in confusion, âWell, arenât ya gonna take up the challenge?â
Weirdly, it wasnât weird at all.Â
If anything, you had to hold back your laughter the entire time at the way the great âcampus sweetheartâ Gojo Satoru was so on edge.
Just a friend comforting a friend, right?
So why was he avoiding your gaze with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, summer blue eyes pointedly trained right over your head. That pretty pink blush dusting his cheeks reflecting the hands hovering in midair over your waist. So close - and yet, fear in each and every turn and swirl.
Yours were searing into his broad shoulders as you tried to guide him to the muffled music from inside. And shit.
That night ended with a second kiss.Â
You donât know who leaned in first, just that Satoruâs soft lips were just fleeting on your glossy ones - barely even a touch. And that shit shit shit- this was Satoru. This was you.Â
Everything.Â
But it seems that every time Satoru was about to kiss you dangerously close to the way some tiny, forbidden part of his heart wanted to - the universe throws an obstacle at him. An obstacle that was six feet and named âSuguruâ, currently running at break-neck speed out of the gym.
âMOVE YOUR ASSES!â he cackles, âTHE FOOTBALL TEAM ISNâT TOO HAPPY ABOUT ME BREAKING THEIR STAR PLAYERâS NOSE.â
And not a word is uttered about the kiss as the three of you speed out of the school parking lot in Suguruâs busted-up black hellcat, the wind mussing up the hairstyle that took Satoru over two hours to perfect. Sneaking in glances at the sight of you singing along at the top of your lungs to some overplayed pop song on the radio.Â
He learns another two things that night:
Apparently, Suguruâs right hook still really fucking hurt. And thank god for tonightâs casualties of noses, because it was a wonder that he didnât look too hard at how close Satoru was with you.Â
He didnâtâŚdislike the feeling of your lips on his. And judging by the way you meet his eyes in the rearview mirror - you didnât either.
Itâs mainly that last one that makes him gulp.
Neither of you remember the third kiss - though, Satoruâs sure that at least 80% of Shokoâs instagram followers did.
According to a very hungover Shoko, and the many, many forms of documentation, it had happened on the New Yearâs eve during your third year in university. In which you were much more used to the raging parties that would be hosted at Suguruâs apartment, and only slightly less intimidated by them.
âAnd youâre a lightweight too, dumbass. You were gone.â Shoko sighs from across the cafĂŠ table, eye bags deeper than the last time heâd seen her. âLike gone gone.â
God, what a way to start the year.
Satoru bites back a remark about how âgoneâ Shoko herself had been. Sitting up straight in his seat, regret immediately hitting his senses faster than the guilty throbbing at his temples. He winces, managing out a semi-disbelieving groan of, âGone gone?â
And sheâs only nodding wearily, subconsciously tapping out the rest of her cigarette ashes onto his untouched plate of sweet pastries.Â
âIâm talking dancing on expensive coffee tables and fighting to stop you from giving everyone there a strip show.â She cracks a smirk through a waft of smoke, âThough, she wouldâve loved that Iâm sure.â
âHar har har, youâd make even Nanami laugh with that one.â
âEugh, gross.â Shoko taps through her phone briefly, swirling it around to show Satoru a few pictures that definitely gave him a mini-heart attack at 8:57 in the morning. âYou look like youâre about to pen really bad poetry.â
And perhaps this was Shokoâs plan all along - to shock Satoru to the core hard enough that she can note it down as one of her sketchy psychological experiments.Â
But he knew. Could feel it in the hazy fragments of memories - or, at the very least, in that entire highlight that Nanamin had oh-so-conveniently put up on Instagram titled, âBlackmail.â
You knew.Â
Youâd kissed him back.Â
âI donât have a-.â you slur, stumbling ever-so-slightly as you try to meet Satoruâs glassy eyes. Because shit the years have had him shooting up faster than you could look up. â-a New Yearâs kiss, yâknow.â
You were older - more gorgeous, if that was even possible now. That tight dress hugging your body so unfairly in a way that had him forgetting you were his best friendâs sister.Â
The one person in this whole world that he couldnât have.
But Satoru leans in closer, more because he wants to than anything - he could pick out your voice anywhere let alone over the thumping music currently filling his crowded living room. Lips loose as he tries to play up the cool-guy facade heâs been dubbed with since freshman year, âHah, loser. Because I do.â
âWhere?â
At this, Satoru is stumped - damn, you were good.Â
âNot- uh here?â If he was in any clearer state of mind, heâd have been embarrassed at the way his voice cracks so traitorously as your unsteady hands pull him in closer by his overpriced button-up.Â
Your body was flush against his now, so addictive. Gaze half-lidded and flickering between the sliver of milky skin exposed on his chest - from that impromptu striptease heâd almost started earlier - and the blue eyes that were currently locked you. You whisper a strained, âLiar.â
Close - too close. So dangerously close.
He breathes out against your lips, the smell of booze and you so heady in his mind. And the heavy words falling from his lips sound like lies, even to him. âNot.â
âToru?â you hum, a sound that has him gasping. âShut up.â
âYes, maâam.â
And there went your New Yearâs kisses. At exactly 11:37PM, if the photos were anything to go by.Â
And holy shit were there many. All of which showed your arms looped around Satoruâs neck, crashing his lips to yours. His own, resting against your waist, a scandalously red blush - whether from the alcohol or you - adorning his cheeks. Looking more blissed out than he ever remembers feeling.Â
âIâm a dead man, Shoko.âÂ
Thereâs a lengthy silence, leaving Satoru stewing in thoughts of how Suguru would react once he finds out. And whether or not heâd be able to rise from the dead just to see how pretty youâd look at his funeral.
Morbid thoughts broken only by Shokoâs cough, âHey, can I keep your eyes for experimentation if he actually catches you?â
Subtly, he sends himself those photos from last night. Â
Luckily for Satoruâs eyes, they never ended up being donated towards Shokoâs questionable contributions to the world of medicine.Â
And by some grace of the gods above, Suguru never mentioned a word about the kiss that wouldâve inevitably made its way to him. Or maybe it was because Satoru stole his phone until he managed to pester Nanami just enough to take down that highlight. But, semantics.Â
His heart, however, might as well have been part of some experiment.
Because itâs been working overdrive since that night - mind reliving that moment over and over and over and- shit, heâs fucked. So, so fucked.Â
Fucked enough that it took Satoru months just to muster up to even look in your pretty eyes once more, unless he wanted to get lost in them forever. Fucked enough that he dared to wonder again and again when there might be a fourth kiss - if there would be a fourth kiss.Â
He just never thought it would happen the way it did - with you, standing outside his front door.Â
âIâm sorry, Toru.â you mumble, âItâs just- I think we both need to grow up.â
Youâve freshly graduated now, looking more and more irresistible each time he sees you - even when youâre looking at him like that.Â
Rolling his eyes, âHa, is this another way of saying you want my secret to getting taller? Because the first thing is to-â
âIâm serious, Satoru.â
And oh how he wished youâd say something - anything - else right now. Call him anything but that. Maybe even throw an insult his way, tell him those new sunglasses look ugly, or about how you got that internship he wouldâve died for.Â
Satoru manages to choke out a heavy, âI donât understand.â But that uncomfortable coil of something curling at the pit of his stomach said otherwise. And it causes him to finally breathe out a hesitant, âMaybe youâre right.â
As if that was all the answer you needed, youâre stepping out of the front door. Slow, and deliberate like you were giving him another chance - a thousand more. Sighing out a defeated, âItâs been years.â It has. âAnd weâre just running in circles.â You have. âIâm starting to think this is just some game to you.â It wasnât.
âWait!â he grasps your hand - soft. The look in your eyes even softer as you turn around to face his desperate face. âPlease, sweetheart.â
Satoru doesnât even know what words he wants to say - let alone whether theyâd come out of his heavy mouth.Â
So, instead, heâs crashing them into yours.Â
Brief. Fleeting. Like each one before this. Too addictive, too short, that he thinks heâs almost imagining it as you pull away gently, until he sees that look in your eyes.Â
âToru, I have a date.â
The fourth kiss.
Satoruâs letting go of you like it burned - and, truly, it felt like some deep, dark part of him was burning down right now. âGreat.â That should be hm that should be him that should be- âIâmâŚhappy for you.â
And the last.
He fucked up.
He really, really fucked up.
That first date turned into a second. The second into a third. And unfortunately for Gojo, eventually, you were nearing your one-year anniversary with that asshat youâd met during the early days of your internship.Â
Heâd seen the man himself once, briefly at another one of Suguruâs famous parties. Ducking out of sight before he could be introduced, yet long enough to know that he wasnât as tall, or as handsome, or as absolutely fucking hilarious.Â
What did he have that Satoru didnât?Â
The answer to that, Satoruâs reminded of every time heâs causing ruckus over at Suguruâs apartment, and sees you walking out of your room, tittering on the phone to none other than your boyfriend. So gorgeous. So not his.Â
You, that loser had you.
âIf you sigh again I swear Iâm shoving this popcorn up your a-â
âItâs a sad movie, Suguru!â he defends, draped across your couch at another one of those movie nights you loved to organize. As usual, there was the popcorn, the god-awful movie (if Satoru picks it), and the arguments. The only thing missing, however, was you. Ugh, something about an âanniversaryâ and a âseafood dateâ. Seriously, itâs not like you even enjoyed that new seafood restaurant in town, and heâs sure that bastard didnât know-
âSatoru.â his best friendâs deadpan voice cuts through his little reverie. âWeâre watching Mean Girls.â
And heâs barely even opening his mouth to snark back before-
SLAM!
Suguru pauses the movie almost immediately, turning to the direction of the front door. âUh oh.âÂ
And lo and behold - there was you in all your pissed off, beautiful glory. Throwing your keys on the table, your fiery glare passes over the two men as you stomp to your bedroom.Â
âSeafood wasnât that good, sweetheart?â Satoru calls out behind you, eyes sweeping down your figure. Heart stuttering in his chest when you turn around with your fists clenched, lower lip wobbling in a way that Satoru would both kill whoever made you feel this way and die to be on the other side of those daggers in your eye.Â
Sniffing out an icy, âFuck off, loser and loserette.â
Then in a whirlwind of rage, youâre gone - your bedroom door slamming only slightly more gently than youâd done with the front door. Leaving a deafening silence, and Satoru whining, âWhy am I the loserette?â
âDeserved.â Suguru shrugs. Warily eyeing your door, as if it was about to pounce at any given second, âLet her cool down before you give her an aneurysm at least.â Unpausing the television, propping his feet back up, âSâenough having to deal with you on top of a boyfriend like that.â
And that has Satoru perking up in interest - both figuratively, and literally as he snatches the remote and pauses the movie. âWait wait wait what-â Holding it way out of Suguruâs reach, âWhat do you mean a âboyfriend like thatâ?â
Scoffing, âFunny. Now give me back the remote.â
A beat of silence passes. One. Two.
Only then does it dawn on Suguru that this might just not be some strange prank to stroke Satoruâs ego, and he was actually  more serious than heâd ever seen him. Damn.Â
âBro, have you really never met the guy or something? Heâs a complete tool. I donât know what happened, but this breakup was a long time coming.â
Satoru blinks, feeling a red hot surge of anger. âWhat? Seriously? Why didnât you do anything about it?â
âYou think I didnât try?â he sighs, running a hand through his hair at the otherâs uncharacteristic silence. âHah, and just imagine, the man was talking about marriage, too. As if.â
And suddenly, Satoruâs hit with an image of you walking down the aisle. Not something he was a stranger to, but it still takes him aback. The sway of the fabric beneath his fingers, your lips against his. Hell, in that split-second he even dreams up how Nanamin would be crying very reluctant tears of joy.Â
Everything. Everything that wasnât his.
His fist tightens around the remote, until he could hear the cracking of plastic. Mind whirling with the thought of you and him and you. How he wished it was him and you. âI wouldâve been better.â
Oh.Â
Shit.Â
âI- fuck this. Suguru, since elementary school IâŚâ
And, well, Satoruâs so busy putting that extra physics seminar he took in university to work - trying to calculate the odds of surviving a jump out of this seven-storey window - that he almost misses Suguruâs low hum, a distant, almost barely-audible little interruption, âWell duh.â
âHold on.â heâs snatching away the remote that had somehow slithered its way into the otherâs hands once again. Ignoring his best friendâs croak of protests to pause in the middle of Regina George being hit by the bus - which, he felt was strangely enviable right now. âThat was- what? YOU KNOW?â
âHuh? Even my parents know, the only one that doesnât is her.â
â...â
Satoru didnât know how Suguru seemed so calm, but he felt like he was about to spontaneously combust. Heart stuttering in his chest as he sideglances at your firmly shut door - like he was just waiting for you to jump out and tell him this was some elaborate prank.Â
Begging for you to come - it wouldâve hurt less.
But you donât.
Fuck.Â
And the only response he gets is a low whistle, before a phone is being shoved in his face - flashlight illuminating that crimson blush. âDamn, the great Gojo Satoru speechless? The groupchat is gonna love this, might even send it to my sister, yâknow.âÂ
He didnât care - didnât give a shit if this video made rounds to Gakuganji himself. Only one thought racing through his mind right now.Â
âBut why arenât you punching me like in elementary school?âÂ
And Satoru knows heâs smart - intelligent even. Hell, he was the valedictorian, the youngest employee to claw their way up to being on the board of directors. But heâs never felt more stupid when Suguru breathes out a bewildered, âDude. That was for blaming me for the paper planes.âÂ
âOh.â
Then the movie is unpaused.Â
---
The last time you kissed Gojo Satoru was at the doorstep to that overpriced penthouse of his, exactly a year ago today.Â
The last time you saw Gojo Satoru was just a few hours ago, lounging around your living room like he owned it. Honestly, he might as well have been part of the furniture at this point - like some expensive, fluffy couch. One that prattled on about your âdumbass boyfriendâ and god-knows-what else to rile you up just for the fun of it.
Which is why it was odd to step out of your bedroom - eyes just a bit puffy, throat still tight - to a suspiciously quiet hallway.Â
The lights were turned off, nothing but the pouring rain sounding from outside, television paused on some rerun of The Princess Diaries. Damn, you told those idiots not to start that one without you.
âSugu?â you call, finding his bedroom empty. âThought tonight was movie night?â Padding across the empty apartment, contemplating whether or not to get your phone and call him when-
Ding!
Ah, there.Â
You roll your eyes as you head towards the front door, ready to give Suguru a piece of his mind for going out at this ungodly hour and forgetting his key. Seriously, what if you opened the door and he was hurt, or worse, orâŚ
Satoru.Â
Speaking a mile a minute.
Satoru.
â-florist was closed and the store clerk looked at me like I was crazy but I got this for-â he pauses abruptly, as if realizing something with a jolt. â-you.â
âYou- what-â you donât know where to look - at the drenched, disheveled Satoru filling your doorframe - rain in his hair, curtaining his frantic eyes, drenching his snug t-shirt. Or at the obscenely large bouquet of cheap strawberry lollipops being placed gently into your arms.Â
What follows was an electric silence - and you have half the mind to tease Satoru for finally shutting the fuck up for once in his life.Â
But, no. Instead, you eye the way he stands stubbornly at the doorway, fists clenched, blue eyes locked so intensely on yours that it was like they burned.Â
Face flushed a familiar pretty pink that makes you realize that shit, he might be taller, voice deeper, broad shoulders tight against his t-shirt - but this was still the same boy that cried when you stole his favorite Digimon card in middle school. The same one that kissed you underneath a dingy slide, smelling of strawberry lollipops.
Itâs the steady tap! tap! tap! of the water droplets from his hair that have you tearing your traitorous eyes from his see-through white t-shirt.
Guess youâve both done some growing up since then.
âYou loser.â
âYes, sweetheart?â
The pink wrapping of the bouquet rustles as your grip tightens. âHe proposed to me today, yâknow.â and yet, your quiet, even voice was the only thing ringing in Satoruâs ears. He jolts, as if some visceral, primal part of himself had been poked awake. Breathing heavy, fists clenching until he could feel the neat indents of his fingernails on his palm. Of course. Heâs late. Heâs late heâs late heâs late-
That is, until youâre plowing on, âI said no.â
âHuh?â
You think back to the stuffy restaurant, the man sitting from across from you - how wrong it felt. And all it took were those four words for you to realize that. âI said no.âÂ
Satoru snaps his head up, stepping close - so close. Voice strained like he wasnât asking - begging. Praying, âWhy?â
âWeâŚâ you raise a brow at the way Satoru flinches as you trail off. So desperate. A smirk makes its way onto your face, â...we havenât divorced yet, right?â
And then youâre kissing him - or maybe heâs kissing you.Â
Fuck, you donât know - nor do you really care right now. Not when Satoruâs got his lips crashing against yours for the fifth time in your life, kissing you like it would be the last. Big arms dipping down to your waist, pulling you so tight against his muscled frame that he had half the mind to wonder whether it hurt.Â
âLove this. Love the way you kiss me- fuck-â heâs spitting against your lips, kicking the door shut behind him. âOh- would ya get mad if I-â he tries to get out through kisses. Only to suck on your pretty lips with a pained grunt. âIf I-â Again and again, like it killed him to part. â-hah- celebrated right now?â
âYes.â Youâre letting the bouquet fall to the foor, white-knuckling that useless, drenched excuse of a shirt. âNow kiss me properly, Toru.â
âYes, maâam.â
Such a sloppy mix of teeth and hands and him. Shoving a knee between your legs, making up for years and years of late nights with nothing but his fist and the pretty thought of you.Â
âYeah, thatâs it, sweetheart.â Satoru breathes out, as your urgent fingers that dispose of his shirt, feeling the gorgeous dips and curves of years of hard work to impress you. âSuck on mâtongue pretty- fuck-â His own fisting your shirt, pulling. Ripping.
âToru!â
âI want you.â Heâs letting the poor, tattered pieces drop in a pile on the floor, trailing a hand between your damp thighs before he can stop himself. âOh how Iâve wanted you. And I donât care if I have to buy fifty new outfits to make up for it.â
And itâs the feeling of his long index stroking up your sopping slit through your shorts that has you pulling away with a gasp. Delicate little strings of saliva snapping from Satoruâs kiss-bitten lips. âIf we continue like thisâŚâ your voice wavers as he presses hot kisses along your collarbone. â-my brotherâs gonna walk in.â
â...wouldnât wanna relive that playground kiss, huh?â
Itâs all he says before picking you up so easily, hands resting on your ass. Giving a playful spank ass you wrap your legs around his toned waist.Â
And itâs sloppy.
Both his lips still hotly on yours and the way heâs stumbling urgently to your room through pure muscle memory. Pulling away only when youâre all splayed out so prettily for him on your mattress.
âBlue?â he breathes, pulling your shorts off. And it comes out strained - like the very sight of your panties - all soaked and flimsy with your slick - has whateverâs remaining of Satoruâs sanity flying out the window. âBlue? Oh, youâve gotta have planned this, you little minx.â his hot breath hits your cunt as he shifts down the bed, tongue drawing languid, wet little circles on your inner thigh. âBecause donât tell me this was all for him?â
It was coincidence - or maybe fate - but that doesnât stop you from giving Satoru a slow, teasing nod. Muttering out, âSo what if it was?â
The only answer you get is thumb hooked around your shorts, pulling it just enough so that your brotherâs best friend can spy your pretty pussy.
âWell then.â he chuckles at the way you jump when his fingertip just barely grazes your clit. âGuess I jusâ hafta prove mâbetter.â
A low groan is falling from his lips as soon as they meet your puffy ones, giving your pretty clit a chaste peck. Lingering long enough that heâs sure your sweet sweet juices cover his mouth.
And oh Satoruâs sure heâll never forget the way your jaw falls slack, glassy eyes following his every move as he runs his tongue along his glossy lips. Savoring your candied taste, âNever kissed you like this before, huh?âÂ
Fuck, youâre sweeter than heâs imagined.
You whine desperately, something that has him smirking smugly, âHah, what? Cat got your tongue?â
âYouâre better when you shut up.â Itâs all you can do to buck your hips into Satoruâs pretty face - not that you had to, because one taste of your dripping cunt and he was addicted. Surging forwards until he was nose-deep, locking your ankles around his head with a firm yank.
And you canât lie - maybe youâve imagined this exact scene a few times before on those lonely nights. But you just never expected Satoru to be so depraved. Desperate.
âNgh- fuck, Toru-â you reach a hand down to thread your fingers through his hair, tugging his face up. But Satoru doesnât stop - not even for a second. Tongue still dipping to spread your swollen folds with his tongue, looking you right in the eyes as he murmurs a strangled, âMhm?âÂ
âThought you were gonna prove youâre better, hm?â
So goading. So like you.Â
At this, Satoru pulls back ever-so-slightly to laugh - laugh. His plump, glistening lips curling into a humorless little grin, âOh I will.â Thumb circling your throbbing clit. Just dragging your twitching body across the silky sheets close to his, one hand pinning your hips down. Hard. âI will.â
Loving his new favorite place between your legs one hand toys with your clit, quick, messy little patterns. Tongue even more so.Â
âNot just better.â he grunts, âGonna make you cum so much harder, too.â Having your thighs shake with each word hissed out into your cunt, each turn of his deft fingers. âTill Iâm the only thing on your mind. Me.â
And itâs all you can do to let out choked up groans of his name, back arching off the plush mattress to let him make out with your cunt deeper. Sloppier. So, so starved with the way heâs speeding up, tongue dragging across your walls. In and out in and out in and-
âFuck! Hngh-â you angle his head - and he lets you. âThere- Toru-â
Honestly, you didnât even have to tell Satoru - he could feel it. Could feel it in the way your plushy walls are squeezing his hot tongue so harsh, until it was almost difficult to fuck your pussy so sloppily. In the way youâre letting out such delicious whines each time he grazes against those sweet spots.Â
âThere? Hah- I know.â he pulls away to muse, and your cute, disappointed whine goes straight to his already rock-hard cock. âDid he?â
He didnât. And youâre shaking your head so pathetically - in a way youâd be embarrassed about usually.Â
But thatâs the last thing youâre thinking bout because you feel it - the cold, sinful feeling of Satoru spitting on your filthy cunt. Once. Twice. Blue eyes widening in delight at the way the mess of spit and slick drip down your slit.Â
âCute.â his tongue smoothes over the slutty pool, and the only thing your delirious brain can make out now is a low moan of, âSo? Whoâs better?â
Itâs all you can do to choke out a broken little, âT-T-â Face burning at the way he was so clearly enjoying your struggle. And, well, no matter painfully hard it made his dick - he had to go just a bit easy on his girl, right?
âShhhh, sâalright.â you flinch as he shoves two absolutely drenched fingers into your mouth, making so much more of a mess of it than necessary. Drinking in your cute gags, âI was asking her.â Heâs making your head spin with the way heâs speeding up. âNâ sheâs hah- very talkative.â Words muffled, and slurring together - like he was drunk off of you and your cunt. âLetâs hear what she has to ngh- say, huh?â
And with that, heâs alternating between lapping at your clit and squeezing into your sloppy entrance - like he couldnât - didnât - want to make up his mind. Oh, with your teary mewls strangled, the sound of Satoru making out with cunt is so loud. The squelches so obscene.Â
âFuuuuck.â he drawls. âLouder than I thought. I think she says Iâm better, donât you think?âÂ
You angle your head just right to catch the way his jaw grinds deeper into you, eating you out like his last meal. Your slick drooling down his chin so sinfully.Â
âNgh- fuck fuck fuck- ngh-â your yelps are dreamy, feeling like you were losing your mind with the way he was stretching you out.Â
Like you were about to snap. Any second now.Â
But Satoruâs only increasing his movements, drawing out your little moans. âAnd I think sheâs sayingâŚâ Getting sloppier. More erratic - and it didnât matter if his fingers were cramping up now, cock aching with the need to be inside you. â-that sheâs about to cum.â
You do - so hard and loud - both you and your cunt.Â
Youâre shaking, all but gushing all over Satoruâs mouth, tight pussy squeezing his tongue so hard. Barely even realizing the searing grip youâve got on his hair as you drag your sloppy pussy all over his mouth.
But Satoru doesnât mind - he gladly welcomes it, in fact. Tonguefucking your snug cunt senselessly, letting you chase your high as roughly as you wanted. Over and over.
Even when youâre vision isnât as spotty as before, even when nothingâs coming out of your mouth but little whimpers. Your breathing dying down until all that rings in your barely-lucid mind were those obscene noises of Satoruâs lips all on yours.Â
âT-Toru-â you whine, big fat tears pricking at your hazy eyes. âMâso sensitive.â
And of course this is Satoru, the same boy whoâs been pushing your buttons for years just to giggle at your adorable reactions. Which is why he grins against your twitching cunt, âSo?â
It takes everything in you to raise your head off the pillow that just seemed to be swallowing you whole, and even more to shoot Satoru a half-hearted glare. âSo mâgonna ngh- assume youâre jusâ a pussy with a s-smaller dick than-â
You donât get to finish your sentence - he doesnât let you. Because Satoruâs fumbling with his belt, peeling off those still-drenched pants just enough for you to admire his clothed erection.Â
And, shit, admittedly you expected him to have a big dick - having been subjected to way too much locker room talk with your brother - but this was ridiculous.Â
âWhat? Too big?â He flashes you that infuriating grin. Palming his rock-hard cock through his boxers at the way your beautiful eyes trace the outline of his cock, all swollen and big. So intimidatingly big. âDamn, sweetheart, if I knew that this was how Iâd get that feisty lilâ mouth of yours to shut up then Iâd have done it a lot sooner.âÂ
And you donât even know if youâre breathing, the pads of your fingers dancing along his bulge. Tracing those prominent veins. Thumbing that little damp spot at his fat head. âYou wouldnât have.âÂ
He hisses as your soft hands dip into the hem of his underwear. Voice cracking slightly, âI wouldnât.â
Then youâre gasping - in sync with Satoruâs low moan - as you finally let him spring free. Thick cock hitting his sculpted abs, red tip smearing precum in a lewd little pool. Weeping and so so angry at the sight of you.
At the heavenly feeling of your thumb teasing under his sensitive slit, âOh, shit.âÂ
Heâs throwing his head back when you give an experimental pump, all the way from his pretty tip to the tufts fo white at his hilt. Fist gliding all over the thumping veins. Bucking his hips up like such a slut into your touch.Â
âO-oh fuck.â he cracks an eye open at the way your hand looked so small compared to his dick, how well you were taking care of him. âBeen ngh- dreaming of this since I learned what handjobs were, yâknow? Hah- shit- ya gotta stop before I fuckinâ pass out.â
And Satoru thinks he could cum right then and there at the way youâre bringing your soaked index up to your mouth. Batting your lashes as you suck on them with a lewd pop! âFrom jusâ that?â
âYou have no idea.â
Thatâs all it takes for Satoru to throw your still-quivering thighs over his shoulders, effectively shutting up whatever tease is on the tip of your sharp tongue by kissing your swollen folds with his fat head. Giving it one, long drag.Â
Your mouth is sagging open at the slow, torturous teasing. The sheer anticipation that had your mouth running, âS-so much for ah- jusâ being âfriendsâ, huh?â
âOh, sweetheart.â And youâre flinching from Satoruâs deep, dark tone. The way heâs bracing his fingers so bruisingly on your hips, reeling all the way back till his tip was just kissing your hole. âWe stopped being friends the day you married me on that playground.âÂ
And then heâs slamming in - pushing past that first, feeble ring of resistance, gummy walls stretching out so perfectly for him. As if he fit right in - and he tells you that. Pants it into your open mouth a little over fifteen times, in fact.Â
âShiiiit, look at you.â he canât tear his eyes away from the side of your lips stretching so wide to try and milk him. Sloppy entrance stretching out like magic. âSâlike youâre made for me, huh? This pussy is made fâme?â
âNgh- fuck, Toru! Sâtoo big-â you keen, feet flattening on the mattress. As if to escape. To maybe fucking breathe. Â
Not even half-way in yet, but aleady torn between pushing away and sinking yourself down on his swollen cock for more more more-
âDonât you dare run away.â he warns, looking up at you through his long lashes. âIâve waited too long for this. Nâ youâre not taking this pretty pussy away any time soon.â Inch by fucking inch. Grinding in short, sharps jabs - no rhythm of rhyme, like they were genuinely out of control. âWay too f-fuckinâ-â All the way until your puffy folds was meeting his hilt. Finally. All the way in. â-long.â
And once Satoru had you split apart on his dick - had those tears rolling down your cheeks, cunt swallowing him so sluttily - itâs like something snaps.Â
Because he doesnât waste a second - heâs already wasted almost two decades, anyway - filling you up with his mean hips. Not fucking easing you into it because you always did bring out that part of him, the part that him looping two strong arms around your waist. Pulling.Â
âOh- f-fuck câmere.â Satoru gasps, pressing your body so crushingly against his. Kissing your shaky shoulers, your sweaty forehead, the gentleness so contrasting to his hips.âGod Iâve missed out- fuck fuck fuck-âÂ
Youâve never seen the great Gojo Satoru - campus sex symbol - so uncomposed. Eyes half-lidded, just boring into yours, mouth slack in a soft oh! as he drags his cock all over inside your gummy walls. And the sight is so heavenly that you make the mistake the mistake of cracking a minute smile.
Just barely curling your lips before - âDonât smile at me like that.â Heâs dipping down a hand to roll your ravaged clit between two bullying fingers. âFuck, sheâs gonna be the death of me. Right?â
You keen at the- stimulation? The strech? The sheer embarrassment as you realize that Satouâs still talking to your sloppy pussy? Nodding so mockingly up at you as he plows on, âMhm, she says you needa be ngh- knocked down a god, youâre tight- peg or two. So- get- ready-âÂ
Heâs using this as an excuse to sit up on his knees, dragging you onto his lap so easily like some ragdoll.Â
âThatâs more like it.â
Youâre sliding deeper down his painfully hard cock - all the way till his heavy balls rest beneath your ass, clit rubbing against his pelvis every time he bounces you like some slut. Â
Deep. Ruthless.
âKeep your eyes open, sweetheart.â He chuckles, and youâre screwing open your eyes that you donât even remember shutting. Trying so hard to stop crying out at the feeling of the curve of his dick massaging your walls. âYa gotta hngh- see the o-only one whoâd fuckinâ you properly, right?â
You squeal when heâs taking your clit captive once more. Finger quick, deft. âY-yes.â
But that wasnât enough for Satoru - it might as well never be. Because heâs only ramming his hips up further. Like heâs pushing into your stomach, your lungs, all the way into your cockdrunk brain. Fat head alternating between kissing your poor, abused cervix and all those sweet spots heâd mapped out with his tongue.
âSounded unsure to me.â heâs pouty against your hardened nipples bouncing enticingly in his face. Fingers quirking faster on your clit, âMaybe I should ngh- stop then?â
âNo!â Your hips stutter against Satoruâs. Nails clawing down the sculpted panes of his shoulders, leaving red angry marks for him to take as a sign tomorrow morning that no, it wasnât just one of his dreams this time. âNo no no- mâsure. Youâre the only one makinâ me feel this way.â
You can feel the way heâs twitching wildly at your words, dick thumping harder inside your sensitive cunt.Â
He punctures each word with a heavy, calculated thrust. Hand stretching and squeezing open your cunt from behind to let him slide impossibly deeper. âHmmm, Iâm not convinced.âÂ
Your stupid mouth is only capable of letting out broken, choked-up little moans of his name, ankles locking around those dimples at the end of his spine. âSâyou��â
âStill not convinced.â
But heâs still speeding up his movements, just dragging you up and down his cock. âWho else made you hah- feel this good?â Sure to claim you from the inside out - to leave marks everywhere. Heavy balls on your ass, weeping tip on your cervix, lips bruised as you whimper at his murmured, âThat ex of yours?â Biting down your neck, âThat barista that always flirts with you?â Pulling away only to breathe into your lips, âWho?â
â I- fuck itâs only you, Toru.â
âSound convincing to you?â Satoru hums down at your cunt, biting his lower lip at the way you were milking him so good. Your slick soaking him all the way down to his balls - so needy in a way he never thought heâd see. âYeah-â be breathes, nosing at your neck. âShe agrees- fuck does this tight lilâ pussy of yours agree.â A few tears, a few gorgeous marks down his back, and he was finally convinced. âYouâre mine.â
You donât even realize it when youâre cumming, and Satoru doesnât either.
Both of you too caught up in each other to recognize that familiar, white-hot pleasure running down your spine - all the way down to where he was so mercilessly buried in your cunt. Â
And youâre well into the blood roaring deafeningly in your ears, the sight of Satoru - all wrecked - blurring as he fucks his hips up. Harsh. Eyes rolling to the back of his head as he paints your quivering walls white.Â
Cumming and cumming so hard that you can feel his seed dribbling down your thighs, making such a mess all over Satoruâs lap. Your poor, overfilled cunt soon bloated and unable to keep up with it.
âToruââ you whine, like a prayer. Milking the fucking soul out of him while he gently paws at your messy hair.
âShhh, I know I know, sweetheart.â Such a stark contrast to the way he was filling you up like his favorite sex toy. Not even bothering to move anymore, one hand on your hip, moving your limp body up and down his sensitive cock to fuck it deeper. The other still playing with your clit, âSâalright, my girlâ
Satoruâs hands never leave you, and he prays that now that he got a taste - well, you better be alright with them not leaving you for as long as he lives.
âAs long as you live, huh?â you chuckle groggily, a noise so dreamy that Satoru canât even be mad that he said it out loud. âAnd all that riling me up these years. Do you have a degradation kink or something?â
âWell, only one way to find out~â
âOh shut up you-â
SLAM!
âYooo, I bought dinner from that- WHAT THE FUCK?â
There were only two more lessons to be learned:
Always lock the door. Always. And in case you donât, a bouquet of lollipops will do the trick to a Suguru reeling from the newest addition to the family.Â
Cheap takeout tastes better with an apologetic Suguru, and an ice pack to his cheek - and you to kiss it better.
A/N. Can you tell I kept listening to that one Artemas song while writing this?
Plagiarism not authorized.
#gojo x reader#gojo smut#gojo x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk#jjk fic#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#tonywrites
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Yeah sure weâve all binged a long fic, but have you ever read a WIP and followed someoneâs life?
Tidbits of information - (âI graduated today!â) - and small joys (âItâs my birthday!â) and you get to be there to say âThis chapter made me cry, happy birthday, thank you for gifting us thisâ.
I remember reading this fic of someone at the end of high school, older than me then. They seemed infinitely wise, spoke of their future career and getting into the college they wanted. I remember them posting on days they felt like nothing could bring them down - and on days the whole world did and itâs the aftermath of a hospital visit. Cancer, I think it was, their father. I got to the end of the story, I know their father was fine, but also they got to finish their WIP. I graduated three years later than them, still dutifully wrote thank you notes in every comment. I wonder if they remember me, or just the collective of people reading the story as it updates.
Four years ago I was into my first year of university, my first year of figuring out being out in public spaces. I made excuses as to why my name didnât match my paperwork and read a fic on the train, the same five chapters over and over again for the next years as I thought the story abandoned. It updated this week after such a long hiatus, I left another thank you comment.
Thereâs an author I love, they update their stories like a clockwork. When they donât, I check their blog, just to see if their doing alright, not because I feel like they owe me, just to ensure whether I better get out my laptop to write that really detailed university level essay chapter analysis to get them smiling when their day sucked.
And then, once, when I was 17, I read a fic that hadnât updated in over a decade. I wasnât even in primary school when it started posting. On the last chapter, I left a comment that, in retrospect, was horribly rambly and most likely full of grammar mistakes. The author replied and though I couldnât see their face, I thought of them crying. They were married now, had children, and hadnât thought about this fic in years. They went through their files again, found another half written chapter and an outline. I got two new chapters to read that year.
And then, recently, someone told me they got back into writing original fiction because of my comments. I get to read nearly weekly chapters.
I love binge reading a finished fic, but nothing is ever going to top the feeling of anticipation of waiting for a chapter, the pure joy when someone tells you I was done with this, but you made me think of it again, so this is for you.
Anyway, I think we should romanticize reading WIPs more, growing up alongside the authors writing the stories we love.
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blood moon â t.n. & m.r. part 1
pairing: dark!theodore nott x fem!reader x dark!mattheo riddle. (mattheo makes his appearance in pt2)
warnings: smut 18+, dubcon, breaking and entering, violence, blood, knives (cutting into skin), rough oral sex (m. receiving), mask kink, mentions of murder, swearing
word count: 4k
summary: purge nightâ a night youâve feared all year despite coming from a rich and powerful family. but when six masked men show up at your door, are you really as safe as you thought?
the purge au⌠moodboard. nav. more.
âThis is not a test, this is your Emergency Broadcast System. Announcing the commencement of the annual purge sanctioned by the Government. Weapons of class four and lower have been authorised for use during the purge; all other weapons are restricted. Commencing at the siren, any and all crime (including murder) will be legal for 12 continuous hours. Police, fire, and Emergency Medical services will be unavailable until tomorrow morning at 7:00 a.m, when the purge concludes. Blessed be our new founding fathersââ
âBlah, blah, blah⌠we get it. Same shit every year.â Pansy sighed dramatically through the phone, her tone dripping with annoyance. You could tell she was rolling her eyes, and you didnât need to see her to know she was slouched lazily somewhere.Â
Not much later, the ominous, bone-chilling sirens blared violently through the entire city, blasting through the walls and echoing in the still-empty streets. The all so familiar sound never failed to give you goosebumps all over your stiffened body, instantly raising your heartbeat. You briefly closed your eyes, trying to steady your racing heart as you struggled to control your shaky breathing.Â
âHellooo? Are you still there or have you been murdered already?â Pansy joked with a taunting laugh. Your eyes snapped open, her static-filled voice dragging you back to reality, and her humorous tone nearly making you forget the reality of this cruel night.Â
Because it wasnât just any regular nightâ it was Purge Night. The one night youâd been dreading all year, every year, in which all crime becomes legal for twelve long hours. Logically, you were well aware that you had nothing to fear. Your parents were successful entrepreneurs with plenty of money to afford the most advanced security equipment, keeping you safe from any outside danger.
Yes, to protect you, and only you. Not themâ they were out at a purge party, the details of which you didnât even want to know, shamelessly networking with other high-profile elites while the poor were brutally murdered in the streets surrounding them. Everything about this night gave you a sickening feeling in your stomach. But of course, you knew it would be fine. All you had to do was surviveâ survive in your mansion, surrounded by unbreachable security. Nothing was going to happen.Â
âYeah, yeah, very funny.â you responded, your voice tinged with irritation as you hurried from your bedroom down the wooden stairs to the security room, figuring that if you could check the cameras around the house, it might calm you down a bit. You couldnât shake the feeling of needing to tiptoe carefully down each step, as though someone might hear youâ which was ridiculous, considering how large and heavily secured the house was.Â
The eerily quiet house was broken by the first distant, chilling screams of pure terror from outside, making you grimace as you opened the creaky door to the small room, your eyes instantly squinting at the many bright screens that made your eyes burn.Â
âItâs just⌠I hope this night will be over soon, thatâs all.â you continued, one hand holding the phone close to your ear while your eyes fleetingly scanned over the security cameras, which were strategically placed to cover every corner outside the house.Â
âOh please, donât be such a scaredy-cat! Every year it goes just fine, so this year will be no different. When has anythingâŚâ Pansy chattered in her usual attempt to comfort you, completely unaware that her words were only doing the opposite, when her voice slowly faded away into the background and your eyes narrowed at one of the top-right screens, which was focused on your front door. What the fuck?
With your heart nearly pounding out of your chest and your hand shakily gripping the phone, you inched closer to the screen, moving as slowly as possible, almost as if the slowness would somehow alter the nightmare playing out before you. A sudden coldness washed over you, your eyes rapidly blinking. No, no, no⌠this canât be happening.Â
On the pixelated, dark screen, you saw six masked men standing in front of your door, their heads tilted as they stared right at the cameras. You felt lightheaded, your left hand reaching up to lightly clasp your throat, the panic threatening to overwhelm you once you noticed the various weapons they were holdingâ baseball bats, knives, axes, and god knows what else.
âPâpansy⌠I, uh⌠there are people standing in front of my doorâŚâ you stammered shakily, still staring at the screen, your body frozen in place with your hand gripping the phone so tightly that your knuckles turned white and your breathing became ragged and uneven.Â
âOh, theyâre probably just trying to scare you, babe. I mean, come on, they canât even come in for fuckâs sake!â she let out a mocking laugh as the chaotic thoughts in your head raced a hundred miles an hour, leaving you paralysed with uncertainty.Â
âPansy, what the fuâ you know what? Forget it.â you snapped, your trembling fingers tapping frantically at the screen before finally ending the call, frustrated at not being taken seriously by your best friendâ though, to be fair, when had she ever?Â
You hastily slipped your phone into your back pocket, already dreading the snarky text she was sure to send you for ending the call, before shifting your attention back to the screen. One of the men removed his mask, prompting you to move even closer with narrowed eyes, your forehead nearly touching the cold glass.Â
âGood evening.â he called out in a stoic, chilling voice, his shiny black hair neatly styled, and his stance tall, commanding and unmistakably intimidating.Â
âSorry to bother you at this ungodly hour, but let me kindly introduce myself. My name is Tom, and these guysâ they are my friends.â The scene you were intently staring at filled you with pure terrorâ this unknown man named Tom, surrounded by men in masks, each carrying weapons that could easily kill you, weapons that were already completely soaked in blood, the dark droplets dripping ominously onto your front porch.Â
âThis can go one of two ways; you simply let us in, and we will stealâ sorry, I mean take whatever we desire, and then, we leave! OrâŚÂ we can do this the hard way. But I can assure you, you will not survive the latter.â His tone was almost amused as he finished speaking, and through the grainy pixels, you could see a controlled, sinister smile spreading across his pale face.Â
âDo not think you are invincible. We can enter any home we want. And we will want, as wanting is our will on this fine purge night. Do not force us to hurt you.â
His menacing words sent tingles across your skin, all the muscles in your body tightening. And for a good ten minutes, they did nothing but stand there, staring straight into the camera, waitingâexpectingâfor you to open the door for them.Â
It was a chilling sight. Almost as if you were staring at a photograph, the men stood completely still, their blood-covered hands tightly gripping their equally blood-soaked weapons, knowing your blood would be next to splatter across them, mixing with that of other poor, helpless victims.Â
When they realised you werenât going to open the door, Tom gave his men a quick signal, waving his finger in the air, which caused you to cock your head in both curiosity and unease.
âAlright then.â He said, the sinister smile on his face growing wider. But it was fine. You knew they couldnât come inside anyway. Your house was so securely protected, there was no way they could come in andâ Is that a fucking blowtorch?Â
âYes, we are prepared. And youâ oh, you chose the wrong option.â Tom coldly stated as if he could read your mind, dragging the words in a chilling tone. Two of his men quickly got to work, the blowtorch slowly cutting through the thick metal doors, meanwhile, Tom continued to stare directly at the camera, his evil, dark smile never faltering, his soulless eyes not blinking once.
âOh, fuck, fuck, fuck.â This was when real panic set in, your eyes flickering with pure terror as you slowly backed away from the screens, gripping whatever furniture was nearby to steady yourself. You hurried out of the room, realising this was the time to hide.
Quickly but silently running up the stairs again, you heard the agonising sound of the blowtorch cutting through the metal, sending shivers all over your body and urging you to move faster.Â
You burst into your room, breathless, slamming the door behind you and you panickedly scanned the small space, frantically searching for the best hiding spot. There werenât many options, but the closet seemed like your only chance, so without hesitation, you flung the door open, stepped inside, and crouched down, wrapping your trembling arms tightly around your knees.Â
âItâll be fine, itâll be fine, itâll be fine.â You kept repeating to yourself in a quiet, trembling voice, desperately trying to gaslight yourself into believing it. But who the fuck are you kidding? They were inevitably coming in, and then⌠well, you didnât even want to think about it.
You gasped loudly at the sudden sound of a loud bang, followed by distant voices and approaching footsteps downstairs. Nibbling on your bottom lip and one hand clutching your throat, you struggled to calm your ragged breathing, but hoping to make out the conversation happening downstairsâ although you werenât even sure if you wanted to hear it in the first place.Â
âWe are coming, aha! And we will find you, you little fucking bitchâ an unfamiliar voice taunted from down the stairs followed by a menacing laugh, clearly relishing the undeniable fear they were instilling in you as the footsteps and faint chatter grew louder with every passing second.
âMattheo, control yourself. Search for the girl downstairs, and Theo, you check upstairs. The rest of us will take whatever is valuable and leave for the next house.â You heared Tom instruct two of his men, his voice stern and cold, before adding, âOh, and whatever you do, make it as painful as possible. I want her to suffer.âÂ
Goosebumps covered your entire body hearing the chilling words, and you could tell that these guys didnât fuck around. Everything about them was incredibly organised and prepared. This wasnât their first time purging. No, they knew exactly what they were doing.
Heavy, resolute footsteps then made their way up the stairs, each deep step resonating through the house, making the silence feel like it was closing it. Theo. There was no way out of this. The only thing you could do was pray that he wouldnât find you. But deep down, you knew he would.Â
âYou canât hide from me, piccola.â a deep, husky voice teased, his voice slightly muffled by the mask he wore. It surprised you to hear a foreign accentâ Italian, you guessed. And fuck, you could punch yourself in the face right now for finding it⌠hot.Â
The steps grew louder, tantalisingly slow, until his footsteps reached your room. Your hand flew to your mouth to keep yourself quiet, your brows furrowed as you squeezed your eyes shut, focusing on steadying your breath. Your heart beat out of your chest, and you worried it was beating loud enough for him to hear.Â
Then it was quiet. No sounds. You swallowed, your mouth feeling dry with tears brimming at your waterline, and you gasped when you suddenly heard his voice so close to you. Thank fucking god you still had your mouth covered.Â
âYouâre here, arenât you?â He said in a dark, knowing manner, and the only thing you could do at this very moment was repeat âplease donât find meâ in your head while only hoping your death would be less painful than Tom had ordered it to be. âI know you are...âÂ
The closet door then abruptly swung open, causing you to let out a loud, surprised gasp. The tears you had so desperately tried to suppress now uncontrollably streamed down your cheeks as your head shot up. Soft ânoâs slipped from your lips when he grabbed you by the arm and aggressively pulled you out of the closet, the words barely audible and you panickedly shook your head, feeling lightheaded due to pure fear.Â
âShut up, cazzo.â he muttered irritably as he threw you on your bed with exasperated aggression. And you immediately compliedâ not only because he asked you to, but because you didnât want Matthew to hear you, knowing that Theo had found you, worried of what he might do to you. Matthew⌠Was his name even Matthew?Â
He stood still before you, and for the first time, you took him in, scanning him from head to toe as his imposing, tall frame loomed over you, casting a shadow over where you sat on the bed.
A white mask fully covered his face, and in his right hand, he held a bloody, sharp knife, causing you to gulp in fear. Oh, he looked fucking terrifyingâ but there was something else, something other than fear deep inside of you. A feeling you desperately tried to suppress. A feeling you felt ashamed to feel. A feeling you could not bring yourself to admit.Â
âHuh.â he commented, his head tilting slightly to the left. âTom didnât tell me you were such a pretty little thing.â he reached his hand out, his thumb brushing over your cheek, causing you to instinctively pull away, stiffening under his touch.Â
âCosĂŹ carina.â he chuckled mockingly, and your eyes were drawn to his hand that was expertly spinning the knife. His other hand then abruptly gripped your hair, making you gasp, and he slightly tilted your head to expose your neck.Â
From your peripheral vision, you could see the bloody knife drawing closer to your neck, making you instantly shut your eyes with furrowed brows, knowing this was it.Â
âCanât wait to see these white sheets turn red.â Theo taunted, but you were shaking, crying and nervously biting down on your lip so hard that blood welled up, waiting for the moment you finally felt the sharp knife against your delicate skin.
And then you did. You felt the cold blade lightly dig into the skin of your neck, the sharp, stinging sensation causing you to tightly grip the sheets, followed by fresh, crimson droplets of blood slowly trickling down your skinâ but then he stopped.
âHm. You know what, bella?â Theo paused for a moment, crouching down to get on eye level with you. The closer he got to you, the faster your heart raced, your whole body heating up with a mix of fear and something else. The deep sense of guilt you felt for feeling⌠this way gnawed at you from the inside.Â
âI might just have other plans for you.â Your head snapped toward him, and you hissed at the fresh cut stretching open, your hand instinctively reaching to the wound, carefully dabbing your fingers on the blood still trickling out.
âYou wanna live?â He questioned, and you reluctantly nodded, still unable to shake off the feeling of unease, even as a slight sense of reliefâor maybe hopeâ began to grow inside of you.Â
âThen I advise you to get on your knees before I change my mind.â You blinked rapidly, unsure if you heard him correctly. Surely not.Â
âIâ what?â You stammered, breathing in so fast you nearly choked on air as your heart pounded out of your chest.Â
âOh, you heard me.â He rose to his feet, and your eyes intently followed his every movement. The way the moonlight seeped through the blinds illuminated him, and for the first time, you could clearly see his ocean-blue eyes gazing down at you with intense focusâ the only feature of his face that was visible through the mask.Â
He reached the knife out again, causing you to flinch, but this time he pressed it under your chin to lift your head, the pointy end digging into your soft skin.
âYou donât think I noticed?â he began, and you sat frozen, knowing that a single movement would press the knife deep into your skin.Â
âYou donât think I noticed the way you looked at me with those pretty eyes?â You raised an eyebrow in puzzlement, unsure of what he was hinting at, and you absolutely hated thisâ the vagueness of his words. You hated having to guess what he meant. It made you anxious.Â
âI have purged a lot of people, bella. And there is one thing aaall of them have in commonâ they all have this same, fearful look in their eyes.â he continued, and it made you wonder what he saw in yours.Â
âBut you⌠cazzo. With you, I see something else sparkling in those pupils.â The way the mask muffled his voice made you unconsciously lean in closer to hear him better, and he did the same, but for an entirely different reason, until you were merely inches apart. It was a strange observation to make in such a moment like this, but oddly enough, he smelt nice, very nice. A pleasant, musky cologne with the undertone of cigarettes filled your senses.Â
âWith you I see⌠lust, yearning, desperation.â he whispered into your ear, the knife digging deeper into your skin, yet still not deep enough to draw blood. Your eyes shot wide open before locking with his, and you felt caught. He hit the hammer right on the nail.Â
âGo on, tell me Iâm fuckinâ wrong.â but you couldnât. You couldnât tell him he was wrong. Because he wasnât. Your eyes darted nervously around the room, unable to meet those intense, piercing eyes as the ache between your legs only grew stronger.Â
âYeah⌠thatâs what I thought. Bet your panties are soaked already, arenât they?â you heard a muffled, condescending chuckle coming from under his mask as he slowly twisted the knife under your chin. You so desperately wanted to bite back, to defend yourself, to tell him that he was being ridiculousâ but the words were stuck in your throat.
âSo⌠back to where we were.â he growled as he unbuckled his belt and pushed his pants down, suddenly remembering Matthew wandering around downstairs and being able to walk in at any time, causing him to rush.Â
âCâmon sweetheart. I need to feel those pretty lips wrapped around me if you want to live, aâight? If Mattheo finds us, itâs over for you.â Ohhhh, Mattheo⌠right, right.
You hesitantly walked over to him before getting on your knees right in front of himâ right in front of his already hard erection trapped in his boxers, desperately wanting to escape as the tip formed a wet patch of precum on the fabric.Â
âWell⌠you know I could just kick you in the balls right now and run away?â There it finally wasâ the words that had been stuck in your throat, and the boldness inside of you that had finally come free. It was that unexpectedly tender demeanour of his emerging in brief moments, causing you to see him in a humane light, which stilled your fears.Â
He scoffed before aggressively gripping your hair and pulling your head back, causing you to hiss at the fresh wound on your neck stinging at the movement. He drew closer to you before suddenly holding the knife to your throat again, the softness youâd glimpsed earlier vanishing in an instant.
âOh yeah? You donât think Iâm gonna find you and cut you open? Go for it. Give it a try. Letâs see how that ends.â he warned in a low, menacing tone, your brows furrowing as you clenched your teeth, staring right into his narrowed eyes.Â
âActing as if you arenât practically begging to suck me off right now, tsk. Hurry the fuck up.â he ordered in a harsh tone, abruptly letting go of your hair and retracting the knife from your throat.
Realising you had no other choice but to follow his orders, you stared up at his masked face, before your gaze fell on his boxers. You could tell he was big just from the imprint through the thin fabricâ oh, there was no doubt in that. Reluctantly, you drew your head closer to his crotch, teasingly using your teeth to pull the waistband of his boxers down before slowly sliding them off.Â
âSee, I knew you were a fucking slut.â he growled, his amusement evident as his erection sprang free against his toned abs, precum glistening at the tip. Oh, well fuck. He was indeed huge, causing your eyes to widen momentarily as you swallowed hard. You glanced back up at him one more time, and he gave you a sharp nod, his hand on the back of your head pressing insistently, urging you closer.Â
Your head slowly inched closer to his intimidatingly large cock, and you started with placing soft kitten licks on the tip, tasting the salty precum, when suddenly a mischievous smile began to curve your glossed lips. In one swift, unexpected motion, you wrapped your mouth around his throbbing length, firmly pressing your teeth into the skin while at the same time your hand darted to his balls, your sharp nails digging deep into the sensitive flesh.Â
âThat fuckinâ hurts, you bitch. Cazzo!â Theo cursed, aggressively pushing you back until you hit the bed, yet the same mischievous smile on your face only widened. It confused him how the terrified, weak girl he saw earlier had transformed into⌠this.Â
âDidnât expect you to be such a fucking pussy.â you challenged him, fire burning in your eyes. Not because you wanted to die, but because deep down you knew you werenât going to. If he wanted to kill you, he wouldâve done that already. With the precum leaking from his painfully hard erection right in front of you, you knew the only thing on his mind was finding his release. He was a man after allâ simple, driven by his desires.
âYou better shut that little mouthââÂ
âOr what? You're gonna threaten me again with that stupid little knifeââ before you could even finish your sentence, he grabbed you by the hair, yanking you roughly towards him, his cock forcing its way into your mouth. The tip hit the back of your throat instantly, triggering your gag reflex as you struggled to breathe around his thick, aching erection. He quickly set a brutal rhythm, bucking his hips aggressively into your mouth, and you felt your eyes well with tears, saliva running down your chin.Â
âIf you stop, Iâll make you fucking regret it.â His hand gripped your hair in a tight ponytail, pulling you to meet his thrusts as he relentlessly fucked your mouth. Gagging sounds filled the room as he forced your head down as far as possible, groaning at the sight beneath himâ a sight that could so easily make him come already.
âYou wanted this from the start, huh? Such a patheticââ Theoâs sentence was then abruptly cut off when the door suddenly swung open and slammed against the wall, causing you both to freeze and stare, wide-eyed and horrified. A chill ran down your spine as you noticed another masked man standing in the doorway, holding a blood-soaked baseball bat while casually leaning against the doorframe. Oh no. Â
âWell, well, well⌠look what we have here. You really thought I wouldnât find out, Theodore? How cute.âÂ
Mattheo.Â
reminder: reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated and keep me motivated. ty! âĄ
a/n: thank you sm for reading ^_^!!!!!!! this was supposed to be one long fic but i decided to cut in into two (or maybe more if needed) parts! im not sure when the next part will be posted but ill try to work on it soon !!! <3
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copycat | oscar piastri social media au
pairing: oscar piastri x fem reader
they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but really it's just annoying
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
note: sorry to all of the chloes of the world, i just chose a random name!
f1tea
liked by user1, user2 and 27,305 others
tagged: yourusername, chloereed
f1tea: SHE STRIKES AGAIN! y/n y/ln, oscar piastri's girlfriend, recently changed up her style with some bangs and surprise, surprise chloe reed shared her updated look just days later. then to really pour salt in the wound, reed posted yet again in mclaren merch. will she ever give up?
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user3: BRO YOU COULDN'T HAVE WAITED AT LEAST A WEEK?
user4: i think all subtlety was lost when she copied a literal TATTOO
user5: the way it's y/n's tattoo dedicated to oscar as well...
user6: at what point do we get a restraining order?
user7: the day that girl ends up in the paddock we should let y/n fight her with no consequences
user8: this has been going on for so long i feel like y/n has a lot to unleash on her
user9: at this point i think all of us y/n fans should be able to get their lick in
user10: i'm new to f1 can someone explain this lore to me? (srs)
user11: y/n and oscar have been together for nearly four years now, they got together when they were like 19. this chloe reed girl went on one date with oscar when they were 17 and now copies everything y/n does to try and get his attention? like down to haircut and tattoos ... it's kinda crazy and y/n has made some references to it but like we're nearing like the third year of this so i think she might snap soon
user12: it's even got to the point where chloe has like started talking with y/n's accent? she has a very obvious accent so like it's INSANE
user13: and to think all of this over a single date SIX YEARS AGO
user14: on a brighter note - y/n was MADE for bangs they look so fucking good
user15: obviously she should stop but if there's anyone you want to look like, it would be y/n
user16: at this point is it even over oscar anymore? or has chloe lost herself to journey to BECOME y/n
user17: the fact that she still camps out under all of oscar's posts and constantly posts in mclaren merch
user18: and don't even get me started with how she's always in the comments of oscar's sisters' comments
user19: someone needs to get nicole to put this girl on blast
user20: remember before elon took away public likes that mark went on a liking spree about chloe being a lil weirdo
yourusername
liked by danielricciardo, logansargeant and 1,209,566 others
tagged: oscarpiastri, landonorris & maxfewtrell
yourusername: summer breakin' with my boy (and his boy)
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user24: MAMA THERE'S A BITCH TRYNA BE JUST LIKE YOU đ
user25: i unfortunately think she's very aware of it
oscarpiastri: i know you love me because you didn't get annoyed about THEM gatecrashing our couples getaway
landonorris: what if we are a couple HUH???
oscarpiastri: max literally has a girlfriend?
landonorris: ur so close-minded osc
yourusername: i love you osc even with these little stray cats you've picked up
landonorris: did we or did we not organise a super romantic dinner for you?
oscarpiastri: i organised a dinner and you two are so fussy that you left to find some chicken nuggets?
landonorris: therefore giving you a romantic evening on the water?
yourusername: you fell in the water trying to get back on board from the tender and i had to jump in and save you after a fish touched your foot and you began to have a panic attack
landonorris: god you do something nice for people and all you get is SHAMED
mclarenf1: you nearly drowned ???
user26: is chloe going to attempt to drown someone so she can claim she also saved an f1 driver
user27: @georgerussell63 alert the GDPA - NO WATER !!!
georgerussell63: understood đŤĄ
user28: has it not gotten to a crazy point now that we're warning drivers that this crazy girl might DROWN them ???
user29: at what point do we put oscar and y/n is witness protection
user30: the day she manages to get in the paddock me thinks
charles_leclerc: i see our invite got lost in the mail?
yourusername: please refer to whatever the fuck was going above your comment
charles_leclerc: that you're a victim of identity theft?
yourusername: we been known, but BEFORE THAT
charles_leclerc: oh. you should've let lando drown
landonorris: ???
oscarpiastri: i think that might have gotten me fired?
yourusername: no more papaya rules?
chloereed
liked by user31, user32 and 11,045 others
chloereed: summer breakin'
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user33: oh brother this guy STINKS
user34: i am feeling sufficiently creeped out on the behalf of y/n and oscar
user35: i really don't understand her game here though? does she expect oscar to see this and actually mistake her for y/n and leave y/n for her?
user36: at this point i think she's lost in the sauce
user37: also oscar is hilariously down bad for y/n like he could probably recognise her via vibrational field he would not fall for this cheap imitation
logansargeant: this ain't it btw (it's never been it)
user38: not logan tapping in
logansargeant: who gon check me boo? i ain't got a job
chloereed: i don't know what you're trying to say, but i don't appreciate you spreading misinformation and hate
logansargeant: you have literally copied everything about my best friend down to her sentimental tattoos and you've essentially stalked my other bestfriend for nearly seven years ?
chloereed: it's not stalking if i know i'm what he really wants? she's the imitation of me
logansargeant: you like need help
user39: GO LOGAN
user40: bro has been let of the leash
user41: tbf when you think about it, logan has been friends with oscar for years and by default friends with y/n for just as long so like he's probably seen how this has effected them personally
user42: i don't really see how this is such a big deal, people try and imitate celebs all the time ?
user43: i think it's because she knows at least one of them personally and is very viciously pursuing oscar
user44: also there has to be an aspect we don't know because i don't think logan would be publicly taking her on in the comments if it weren't a lot worse
user45: also ... like it probably feels like shit as a person generally to have everything you do copied and not even get a tiny bit of credit
f1
liked by danielricciardo, patooward and 1,784,039 others
tagged: charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 & oscarpiastri
f1: we're ready for you monza
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user46: OMG IS THAT?
user47: i'm being so for real y/n needs to fight her
user48: OSCAR RUNNNNNNNNN
landonorris: do i need to inform the legal department?
yourusername: you might want to give them some sort of heads up
chloereed: why you afraid i'll steal back my man?
yourusername: no i'm afraid i'll get hit with a manslaughter charge
chloereed: that's a threat - my lawyers will be hearing
yourusername: tell them bitch, oscar would still choose conjugal visits with me over ever being with you
user49: came for the fast cars, staying for whatever this drama is omg
user50: i once went on a reddit deep dive about this drama where they compiled all the evidence and holy moly this confrontation has been a long time coming
user51: the best (or maybe worse) thing abotu all of this is that her claim of being with oscar first and dating him when they were 17 is based on one 'date' where is was just a joint ball between their schools where there was a compulsory dance in which they were partners
maxverstappen1: yo this shit is insane
user52: aren't you meant to be in the car in 20 minutes?
maxverstappen1: drama waits for no one @yourusername i got ur back
charles_leclerc: at this point i will mobilise the tifosi @yourusername
yourusername: i can handle her, i might just need some money to fix my nails
oscarpiastri: please do not fight her, she's not worth it
chloereed: she won't fight for your love but i will
oscarpiastri: can you just fuck off
user53: i fear she's pushed them over the edge now lol
user54: i'm glad they're both letting her have it in the PUBLIC INSTAGRAM COMMENTS <3
f1tea
liked by user55, user56 and 34,982 others
f1tea: she's finally done it? chloe reed was spotted in the paddock at monza. will we finally see a confrontation between the two girls?
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user55: i FUCKING hope so
user56: if i were y/n you'd have to hold me back i'm being so serious
user57: i'd be in oscar's mclaren so fast and be driving down the pit lane to look for her
user58: i'd already be in an italian prison sorry not sorry
user59: y/n needs to give me lessons on being this graceful
user60: at this point we should just have an undercard for the race that's these girls tussling it out
user61: at this point i think logan, charles and max are ready to jump in
user62: charles and max being in the comments just before FP getting the scoop is so insane i love them
user63: imagine getting these f1 drivers this pressed over an aesthetic
user64: if you think this is just about an aesthetic you're just being dumb on purpose
user65: but like y/n is just a girl with bangs and a basic look, u could say like half of the female population are copying y/n
user66: but like please look at the actual evidence, it's way deeper than bangs babe
user67: also the TATTOO WHY ARE WE NOT TALKING ABOUT THE TATTOO
user68: whatever happens y/n will always be better than me
user69: she needs to bash her publicly if she won't beat her physically lol
oscarpiastri
liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 3,984,022 others
tagged: yourusername
oscarpiastri: please leave us alone, you'll never be her and i don't want you to be
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user71: STUNT ON THEM QUEEN
user72: a man who vocally defends you >>>
yourusername: love you bby
oscarpiastri: if anyone wants to take me away from you they'll have to defeat me in combat
yourusername: not saying i want that but you would be so sexy in full armour
oscarpiastri: for you... i would wear anything :3
user73: bro said his piece and immediately went back to simping like a pro
user74: if he doesn't offer to wear a suit of armour in the bedroom is he really in love with you?
user75: i guess we're not getting any dad!oscar content any time soon
landonorris: ???
user75: it's a joke about protected sex genius
landonorris: OH
chloereed: that's not what you said then oscar
oscarpiastri: THAT WAS SIX YEARS AGO IN A CONVERSATION I WAS OBLIGATED TO HAVE GET A GRIP WOMAN
oscarpiastri: YOU WILL NEVER FEEL SATISFACTION IN YOUR LIFE IF YOU CONTINUE TO COPY EVERYTHING SHE DOES AND REFUSE TO BE YOUR OWN PERSON
oscarpiastri: so PLEASE FOR YOUR OWN SAKE GET YOUR OWN LIFE AND LEAVE US ALONE
oscarpiastri: oh. i'm blocked
oscarpiastri: slay
user76: so ... oscar... when can we get this level of reading on the radio
yourusername: don't make him do community service :(
user77: but him being sassy is a service to the community
yourusername: you make a good point
yourusername
liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 2,045,677 others
tagged: oscarpiastri
yourusername: you can be a copy cat all you like, but you'll never beat the original
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user78: i am sorry i exist at the same time as you
user79: i know this a whole love post but i have a confession, i am IN LOVE WITH YOU GET RID OF THE AUSSIE
oscarpiastri: đ¤¨
charles_leclerc: this was a whole saga, i'm happy it's all worked out for you guys but this was hella entertaining - when can we do it again?
yourusername: never again hopefully
charles_leclerc: boring!
yourusername: it literally got to the point that you offered to leave your car keys in a 'special spot'
charles_leclerc: well obviously i don't mean to THAT extent but i just want a bit of drama, let a girl live
user80: shit stirrer charles leclerc i love you
user81: we should've known he was in the trenches with this, the inchident knows no bounds
oscarpiastri: i love you and i'm sorry this happened. but you do slay so i could see why people would want to be you
yourusername: i knew me with bangs would be too powerful đ
oscarpiastri: you're the most beautiful girl in the world no matter what
yourusername: ugh you have me blushing pretty boy
landonorris: cringe
yourusername: maybe if you copied oscar's flirting techniques you'd actually be wifed
landonorris: i thought we just established that copying is bad
yourusername: trust me, you need the help
user82: i'm glad we've returned to peace with the lando slander
user83: they're power is insane
maxverstappen1: can i say helping you come up with this caption is my community service
yourusername: fuck yes
maxverstappen1: stunting on hoes is very much in the public interest
fin.
note: i'm back in a rhythm !! this is not so subtle so i'll expand here: please please please do not steal my work, idc if you change the driver, if you're blatantly stealing my ideas and concepts - to the point that people are messaging me to make me aware, please don't! or at least credit me rather than pretending this a completely original thought. mamma mia didn't bother me as much because it's obviously the musical's idea, but omg undercover verstappen? big reputation? and guilty as sin - down to the series name? i haven't made any posts about this but know it's very much bothering me and if i see anymore i may have to put it on blast. thank you all for reading, soz for the rant but this has been going on for months.
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1#f1 social media au#oscar piastri instagram au#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri social media au
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