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notiddygothgf · 15 days ago

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20. Leaving

★ pairings: aki hayakawa x fem reader

★ ❝ I'll fucking kill you. ❞

★ c.w.: violence, drinking, aki being his canonical kick-ass self, the most satisfying ending ever.

★ a/n: HELLO HELLO MY BABIESSSS!!!!! its here omfg. the chapter i have been itching to release since this past summer! I don't wanna say too much so I'll keep it short -- strap in! It's a ride. Y'all have been waiting for this one. (COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT AWAY PLS i crave ur validation)

★ w.c: .7.2k

shameless ; chapter index

THE FIRST PERSON you saw when you arrived, again, was Himeno. She was wearing a black dress tonight – not entirely unlike your own, but certainly a hell of a lot more conservative. When she saw your head peeking out through the crowd, she grinned, waving her arms around in recognition.

Quickly, you and Aki made your way over to her. She reeled you in with a gloved hand, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

"Thank God, you're here. I was beginning to die of boredom," She chuckled. Giving Aki a pat on the back, she added, "You two look dashing tonight."

Somewhere behind you, Denji straightened up, asking, "What about me? Am I dashing?"

Himeno regarded him with a familiar laugh – truly, the only appropriate response to anything Denji said, "Yeah, little dude. You look like a mini version of Captain Hardass over here."

Denji grinned, clearly taking the comparison as a compliment. Aki shot Himeno an unimpressed look, though it quickly softened as his gaze landed on you.

"I just spotted someone I know," Aki explained, adjusting his tie. "One of my old coworkers is here, and I should go say hello."

"Go on, then," Himeno teased, waving a hand dismissively. "Don't let us hold you up. I'll keep her safe."

Aki ignored her entirely, stepping closer to you instead. His hand brushed against your arm as he leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. It wasn't long, but it carried the quiet affection he always managed to express, even in public.

"Ooooh," Himeno cooed, her grin spreading wide as she placed a hand dramatically over her chest. "Someone get the two lovebirds a room."

Aki sighed, pulling back with a hint of exasperation. "You're insufferable." He cast you a final glance, his voice softening. "Might be a while before I'm back. He can chat quite a bit."

With that, he turned and strode off into the crowd, his sharp silhouette disappearing among the throng of guests.

Himeno turned to you, a glint of mischief in her eyes. "You're good for him, you know. He's so... uptight. It's hilarious to watch him let his guard down around you."

You chuckled, shaking your head. "Maybe. Or maybe he's just tired of you calling him Captain Hardass."

"Never," Himeno replied with mock solemnity, before her grin returned. "Anyway, speaking of missing men, you'll be glad to know that your husband will not be in attendance."

You laughed. "That's a relief. I was dreading running into him."

"Understandably," Himeno said with a smirk. Then, she sighed. "These things are boring as hell without a little something to spice them up. Speaking of..." She looped her arm through yours, steering you toward the bar. "Let's liven this up."

The bar was crowded, but Himeno had no trouble making her presence known. "A round of shots!" she declared, rapping her knuckles on the bar. "Something that burns on the way down. Vodka."

"You're going to regret this tomorrow," you teased, shaking your head.

"Maybe," Himeno replied, shrugging as the bartender lined up the glasses. "But at least I'll have fun tonight. Cheers to that, huh?"

She handed you a shot, raising hers high. "To alcoholism."

You grinned. "To surviving this party."

The glasses clinked, and you both downed the shots. The fiery warmth spread through you immediately, and you couldn't help but laugh as Himeno slammed her glass on the bar with a triumphant grin.

"That's the stuff," she said, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "Now let's see what kind of trouble we can get into before Aki comes back to ruin the fun."

Her wicked grin was contagious, and you smiled back, already knowing the night was about to get a lot more interesting.

Somewhere between 20 and 30 minutes later, you and Himeno were slumped over the bar, indulging in a hushed conversation about your personal lives.

"I've been crashing with Aki for a while now," You drunkenly rambled, waving your hand in the air while the other one cradled a vodka cranberry. "Mostly just to avoid the situation. But– hic– I know... I know I have to go back for my shit eventually, you know?"

You recognized this bar – this venue. In this very same spot, what seemed like eons ago, this was where you had spoken to Aki alone for the first time.

"Is he here with you tonight?" He asked.

You felt your eyes widen. "No, he's in Kyoto..." you muttered, taking a few more much-needed chugs of the wine.

He hummed. If he thought something about that, he didn't say anything. "The wine matches your lipstick."

He hesitated for a moment before leaning in, his tongue flicking out to taste the salt on your skin. The muscle was hot and wet, drawing a line from your knuckles to your wrist. Perhaps it was the warmth of his mouth on your hand, or the way he peered up at you through his half-lidded eyes and lowered lashes so shamelessly. Perhaps it was the wine in your system doing its work already. Either way, you couldn't help the heat that spread over your neck and your face – the stir in your chest that you tried to ignore.

"Because," He said, "You were dancing with someone else."

Your face was alight, on fire – you blamed it on the booze.

"Jealous?" You asked, only partially joking.

You should have known better. You should have stopped drinking about thirty minutes ago. No, better yet; you should have walked away the moment he offered to buy you a drink. You should have done the right thing from the start – turn away from the captivating Devil Hunter and his soft lips against your hand, the desire in his eyes – but you didn't.

"Maybe I am," He replied, voice deep and velvety and – fuck .

"Stop, just–" You interrupted him. You sounded a little breathless when you said it. "Stop it. Go back inside. Go–" You swallowed, voice trembling only slightly as you finished, "Go back to Himeno."

His eyes were unwavering pools of passion – ocean waves crashing against the sandy color of his skin, luring you deeper into the abyss. He lifted a perfectly arched brow, uttering innocently, "Why? I want to be where you are."

"Wow... So... It's really over between you and Tanimoto, huh?" Himeno inquired, finger tracing the rim of her fourth beer (the one that followed 3 shots).

You sighed, laying your head down on the cold, comforting surface of the bartop. "I'm looking into divorce attorneys."

"Now you sound your age," She smiled at you, drumming her fingers on the glass.

Playfully, you shoved Himeno, though it took a great deal of effort – and laughter – for her to stay upright on her stool.

"Your husband would flip if he saw you in that dress," She continued.

"Good," You chuckled back.

The two of you sat there for what may, perhaps, have been a moment too long, melting into puddles of giggles. It was undeniably childish, sure, but you couldn't help but feel, for a moment, as if you were transported to the past once more – like the two of you were 20 instead of 25, eyes still bright, dreams still intact. Still just girls, instead of grown women with a missing eye and a missing marriage.

Furthermore, you were undeniably tipsy.

And, of course, that was the moment Aki decided to come back. You caught a whiff of his signature aroma first, that deep, masculine cologne of his, the scent of nicotine lingering faintly in the air, as if he had just stepped out for a smoke. Then, he took a seat behind you, placing a kiss on your shoulder.

"Sorry I took so long," Aki sighed, smoothing his hands over the top of his ponytail. "Are you two... drunk?"

You and Himeno looked at him, then back at each other, then broke out into another fit of laughter.

"I was gone 30 minutes," He quirked a brow. His tone was so deep, so commanding that you couldn't help the shiver that went down your spine. When the bartender came by, he added, "House beer, please."

"Finish my vodka cranberry?" You grinned, sliding the red-filled glass over to Aki.

Aki took a taste test from it. When he decided he didn't hate it, he downed the rest of it in one go.

"I missed you," You sighed, laying your head on Aki's shoulder, suddenly caring a whole lot less about who could have been watching now that you knew your husband wouldn't be showing up.

And, even though he knew you were only drunk, Aki smiled at you and replied, "Missed you too, troublemaker."

The bartender slid Aki's beer across the counter, and he caught it with practiced ease. He didn't hesitate, lifting it to his lips and chugging nearly half of it before setting the glass back down.

"You wouldn't believe the stuff she used to pull," Himeno began, pointing at you with a lazy, lopsided grin. "Like this one time—this absolute genius—decides she's gonna face a Devil solo because, and I quote, 'I'm too cool to wait for backup.'"

"Himeno," you groaned, burying your face in your hands. "I'm trying to leave that in the past."

Aki raised an eyebrow, already intrigued. "What happened?"

"What happened?" Himeno snorted. "She got yeeted into a tree like a rag doll. Spent a week limping around HQ and blaming it on bad shoes."

"It was the shoes!" you protested, though your laughter was already betraying you.

"Oh, sure, blame the footwear," Himeno teased, giving you a playful shove. "Meanwhile, I had to haul your sorry ass out of there before the Devil could finish the job."

"You could've let that out," you muttered, shooting a half-hearted glare at her.

Aki smirked over the rim of his glass. "You've always had a talent for biting off more than you can chew."

"Oh, like you've never done something reckless?" you shot back, narrowing your eyes at him.

"I think you're the most reckless thing I've ever done," Aki admitted, leaning back slightly, his tone as smooth as his cologne.

That earned a loud laugh from Himeno, who slapped the bartop in delight. "Damn straight!"

You rolled your eyes, but a smile tugged at your lips despite yourself. The three of you fell into easy conversation, the kind that came naturally when years of friendship had already worn down the edges of formality. Himeno was in her element, weaving stories that had you cringing and laughing in equal measure.

As Aki drained the last of his beer, you glanced around the bar, and a quiet realization washed over you. It was the same place where you'd first met him, back when everything felt more uncertain and yet somehow lighter. You didn't mention it, though. It wasn't the kind of thing that needed to be said.

A new song blared through the speakers, upbeat and infectious, and Himeno perked up immediately. "Alright, no more sitting around," she announced, hopping off her stool with surprising grace. "You two are dancing with me."

"What?" you blurted, but Himeno was already grabbing your hand and Aki's, tugging you both toward the tiny dance floor in the center of the room.

"Himeno, come on," Aki groaned, though he made no real effort to stop her.

"No excuses!" she declared, her voice cutting through the music. "You're both dancing, and that's final."

The three of you stumbled onto the dance floor, surrounded by a scattering of other bar-goers who were equally uncoordinated but didn't seem to care. At first, you felt ridiculous, but Himeno's infectious energy was impossible to resist. She twirled you around dramatically, nearly sending you both into a fit of giggles, while Aki stood stiffly to the side, his awkward attempts at movement making you laugh even harder.

"Come on, Aki!" Himeno called, grabbing his arm and pulling him into the fray.

He sighed but finally gave in, his usual stoicism cracking as he attempted a halfhearted spin. It was terrible, and you couldn't stop laughing.

"You're the worst dancer I've ever seen," you teased, clutching your stomach.

"Yeah, well, at least I'm trying," he shot back, the faintest hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

The three of you danced like fools, uncoordinated and carefree, the kind of reckless abandon you hadn't felt in years. You tilted your head back at one point, looking up at the ceiling with a wide, flushed smile as the lights blurred above you.

This is bliss.

"I'll be right back!" Himeno offered over the music, excusing herself with a curt little nod. Then she was off, and it was just you and Aki alone with a dizzying amount – or lack – of space between the two of you.

You turned your gaze back to him, only to find his eyes already on you. He hesitated for a moment, as if weighing something, before extending a hand. "Dance with me?"

You blinked, startled. Aki's tone was soft, quieter than usual, but there was something steady about the way he held your gaze. Your chest tightened, your pulse quickening, and before you could second-guess yourself, you slid your hand into his.

He tugged you gently closer, his other hand finding its place at the small of your back. The warmth of his touch seeped through the fabric of your dress as the two of you began to sway, the soft, lilting melody guiding your movements.

For a few precious moments, it was just you and Aki, the world outside fading into an inconsequential blur. You leaned into him, your head resting lightly against his shoulder. His cologne lingered faintly in the air between you, mixing with the subtle scent of smoke that always seemed to cling to him.

"Do you remember the night we met? We were dancing, just like this," he murmured, his lips curving into a slight smile. His voice was low, intimate, as if the words were meant only for you.

You snorted softly, your cheeks warming. "Of course I do. You complimented my lipstick like you didn't give a damn about me being married"

"I didn't" he said, his tone teasing but sincere. He glanced down at you, his dark eyes catching the dim light in a way that made your stomach flip. "As far as I'm concerned, you were mine from the moment I first saw you."

Your breath hitched, the warmth in your cheeks spreading through your chest. You tilted your head up slightly, meeting his gaze. "You're a devil."

The moment hovered on the edge of something unspoken, something neither of you seemed ready to give words to. But just as you opened your mouth, something caught your eye across the room, and the fragile stillness shattered.

Your gaze snagged on a figure near the entrance. Familiar. Too familiar.

Your stomach lurched. The room seemed to tilt, the lights and music warping into an overwhelming rush. It was him. Your husband. Tanimoto. His sharp, cutting eyes were scanning the room, and you could feel your pulse roaring in your ears.

You gasped audibly, your body going rigid in Aki's arms.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice immediately dropping into something low and protective. His hand instinctively tightened on your waist, as if to anchor you.

"It's him," you managed, the words tumbling out in a shaky whisper. "Tanimoto. He's here."

Aki followed your gaze, his brows knitting together as he caught sight of the man in question. His expression darkened, the calm detachment he usually wore giving way to something sharper, more dangerous.

"It's okay," he said firmly, his voice like a steady current pulling you back from the brink of panic. "Just stay with me. He can't do anything."

"No." The word came out too fast, too forceful. You pulled away from Aki, your movements jerky and uncoordinated. "I... I can't. I need to go. I need—"

Before he could stop you, you reached into his jacket pocket and yanked out the carton of cigarettes and lighter you knew he always carried. Your hands were trembling, but your grip on them was firm.

"Hey," he said, his tone sharpening with concern. "What are you doing?"

"I need a smoke," you muttered, already turning toward the door. Your heart was racing, your chest tight as the need to escape consumed you. "Just... leave me alone, Aki."

"Wait—" he started, but you were already moving, weaving through the crowd with single-minded determination.

The cool night air hit you like a slap as you pushed through the heavy door. You stumbled a few steps forward, your breath hitching as you fumbled with the carton in your hands. It took a few tries to get the lighter to work, the trembling in your fingers making it harder than it should've been.

Finally, the cigarette caught, and you took a shaky drag, the acrid taste burning your throat. You exhaled slowly, the smoke curling upward and disappearing into the dark sky.

The world outside was quieter, the distant hum of the city a stark contrast to the pounding chaos inside the bar—and inside you. You leaned back against the cold brick wall, the rough surface biting into your bare shoulders as you stared at the cigarette between your fingers.

Your chest still felt tight, your thoughts spiraling as you tried to push away the image of Tanimoto's face, of the way his eyes had cut through the crowd. You closed your eyes, pressing a hand to your temple.

He's not supposed to be here.

He wasn't supposed to come.

What the fuck.

The cold air brushed against your skin as you leaned against the brick wall, the faint hum of the city around you. Your hands trembled slightly as you took another drag from the cigarette, the acrid taste burning your throat. You exhaled slowly, watching the smoke curl up into the dark sky, disappearing into the night. It was oddly calming, the rhythmic motion of pulling in and releasing air grounding you, even if it did little to quiet the chaotic storm swirling in your mind.

He's not supposed to be here.

The thought repeated itself in your head, a mantra that was both defiant and helpless. He wasn't supposed to show up. You were supposed to be free of him—of that life. Tonight wasn't about him.

You'd come here with Himeno, to have a little fun, to laugh, to forget. You weren't supposed to be thinking about him. You weren't supposed to be thinking about the years of your marriage—the hollow, suffocating years that had stretched on long after the love had faded.

You felt the weight of that thought settle in your chest. What had you been thinking, all this time? That he would just let go? That the pieces of your life could be so easily swept away like dust?

The cigarette burned your fingers as you took another drag, the heat in your hand reminding you of something else—the way your skin had burned under his touch, how easy it had been to fall for the lies, the promises.

Had he ever really seen you? Or were you just another thing to control?

You shuddered slightly, the cold air biting at the back of your neck. You couldn't bring yourself to think about it too long. What had been done was done. And yet, it felt like there was still so much left unsaid, so much unfinished.

You tried to push the thoughts away, to focus on the now, on the present. On Aki.

Your eyes closed for a moment, and you could almost feel the warmth of him beside you, the way he made everything else fade into the background. He makes me feel alive, you thought, the words coming almost involuntarily. Aki had always been the one who could make you forget about everything else—the past, the pain, the weight of your choices.

But then, that voice.

The familiar sound of his voice was a sharp intrusion on your thoughts, cutting through the fog of alcohol and the haze of cigarettes.

"I thought you quit?"

Your heart dropped into your stomach like a stone. The sudden jolt of recognition was enough to make you stiffen, the cigarette almost falling from your fingers. The sound of his voice—so steady, so familiar—was the last thing you'd expected to hear at that moment.

You didn't even need to look. You could already feel his presence, heavy and oppressive, before you even turned your head. And when you did, there he was.

Tanimoto.

The man who had once been your whole world. The man you had promised forever to. The man who, somehow, had never stopped haunting you.

His eyes were sharp, scanning you with a cold intensity that made your stomach twist. His gaze dropped to the cigarette between your fingers, the slight furrow of his brow telling you everything you needed to know.

You had to fight to keep your voice steady. "I thought you weren't coming tonight?" You asked the question before you even realized it. The anger came faster than the fear, but it wasn't real anger—not yet. Just the rush of adrenaline from being caught, from seeing him when you hadn't expected to.

Tanimoto didn't answer right away, but you could feel the weight of his gaze on you, as if he was trying to figure you out, like you were still the same person he'd left behind. But you weren't.

Not anymore.

"I wasn't supposed to, but, I..." He paused, swallowing, and the tension between the two of you was so thick that you could have cut it with a knife. "Honestly, I just wanted to see you. You haven't been answering any of my calls, and I– I don't know..."

"It's for a good reason," You retorted, still not quite meeting his gaze even though you could feel him staring at you. Slowly, you pulled a long, deep drag from the burning stick between your fingertips.

He sighed. Then, stepping closer to you, on the same sidewalk where you had told Aki to go back to Himeno, that you were married so many nights ago, he added, "I think we should talk about this."

You visibly bristled at the words, his effect on you undeniable, but chose not to show your fear. "What's there to talk about?"

"The divorce?" He answered, like it should have been obvious (It was).

Your heart dropped. Clearing your throat, you ducked away from his request. "Again... what more is there to say?"

He was closer, now. Close enough that you could hear the calculated breath he took, smell the beer on his breath. Though you hadn't seen him at the bar, you couldn't help but wonder if he had gotten drunk before coming tonight. Hell, knowing him, it was probably his drunkenness that led him to show up in the first place.

"I think you should reconsider. We had a great life together. I mean, we fought, but..." He trailed off, "Everyone fights. That's not... you can't just... leave because of that."

He was drunk. Still, you winced at the words. He really doesn't know why I'm leaving him.

Instead of honoring him with a reply, you continued to smoke in silence, taking another hit of your cigarette and then holding it this time – really feeling the ache of it, the burn of its tendrils wrapping around your windpipe. Then, like nothing had happened, you breathed out.

"I love you, you know," He slurred on, "More than anything."

Apparently feeling a burst of bravery, he reached for your spare hand. "Come home."

Come home.

Come home?

You withdrew your hand from his reach just as quickly. "I'm not– I'm not coming home, Tanimoto."

Hold your ground.

He can't control you.

Not anymore.

He stumbled backward, grumbling, "It's because of that fff-fuckin' captain, isn't it? What's his name again? Haya... zawa?"

"It's Hayakawa," You replied easily – and it was funny, really, how quickly the mere mention of his name breathed life back into your lungs, made you feel just a little bit stronger.

My love.

"Look," Tanimoto sighed. It was cold outside again, cold enough that his breath materialized in front of him. It was just the two of you outside – no one else. "I don't... I don't even care if you have an affair, just–" He hiccuped, "Come home. I'll take care of you. Promise."

He had never taken care of you before. It took you cheating on him for him to figure out how to do it? Or was it all a lie?

Just like everything else...?

"No, you won't," You replied, a half-smile crawling its way onto your face at the mere thought of Aki. "Not like he has."

He rolled his eyes. Leaning forward, then back – swaying a little in the wind – he groaned, "You don't know what you're talkin' about. That's not love, it's an... an infatuation."

That's not love.

What the hell would he know? You thought. For years, you had begged him for the bare minimum, begged him to take care of you, begged him to see you as a person, and he wanted to lecture you about what love was? You could have laughed right in his face.

Instead, you snapped, "Don't tell me what love is. You had years to figure that shit out, and all you ever managed to do was hurt me. That's not love."

Tanimoto froze, his eyes wide, as if he hadn't expected the venom in your words. For a moment, he was silent, blinking as if processing what you'd said. But the moment passed quickly, and he leaned in again, a flash of frustration crossing his face.

You didn't back down. Instead, you went on, the alcohol giving you a strange kind of courage, making your words tumble out before you could stop them. "He's tender with me. He listens, he cares, he sees me. He picked up the pieces you left behind. I have nothing more to say... We're in love."

Tanimoto's expression darkened, a flash of something between anger and disbelief crossing his features. He shook his head, disbelief etched across his face. "He can't give you what I can."

You scoffed, a bitter laugh escaping your lips. You shook your head, your smile more mocking than anything else. "Please," you chuckled, the alcohol making everything feel like a game. "You're about an eighth of the man he is. He's patient and loving, and– and he never makes me feel like shit, and the sex is fantastic. You could never please me the way he could."

The words were out before you could stop them, and you didn't even feel guilty. You just wanted him to know.

The silence that followed was thick, suffocating. For a split second, you thought you might've won this round. But Tanimoto's face twisted into a mask of rage, his hand snapping out to grab your wrist, his fingers digging into your skin with a force that made you wince.

"Say that shit again," he growled through gritted teeth.

A surge of adrenaline shot through your veins as you struggled to pull away from his grip. "I said–" you hissed, the words barely audible over the pounding in your ears. "I said you could never... please me the way he could."

And just as you thought you couldn't take any more of his hold, a voice rang out behind you, calm but commanding – a call of your name.

The moment you heard it, your pulse skipped a beat. You didn't have to look. You knew exactly who it was.

Aki stepped forward, his presence immediately shifting the air around you, the tension palpable as he squared off with Tanimoto. His eyes locked on the other man with a coldness that made everything else fall away.

"Let her go," Aki's voice was low but unmistakably firm, every word carrying weight.

Tanimoto didn't immediately release his grip, his eyes flicking to Aki, sizing him up. The tension between the two men crackled in the air, an unspoken understanding that neither of them were backing down. But the thing was, Aki wasn't giving in either. He stood his ground, the power in his stillness enough to make Tanimoto pause.

It was like a silent challenge between them.

"You're done here," Aki continued, his voice steady. "Let her go."

"So this is the dick you've been suckin' off while I've been gone," Tanimoto slurred, jabbing an accusatory finger in Aki's direction. "You happy knowin' you– hic– you broke up a home?"

Aki didn't flinch, didn't even blink. His stare was cold, like a stone, his gaze never leaving Tanimoto. He was so still it was as if time had slowed, and the world around him disappeared. The only thing that mattered now was you and the man who dared to lay his hands on you.

"I won't ask you again," Aki's voice was low, like a growl, but it was clear he wasn't backing down. "Let her go."

Tanimoto, with all the confidence of a man who had long forgotten how to lose, slapped you. The sting was immediate, hot, and sharp, burning against your skin. You barely had time to process it before his face was inches from yours, his breath foul and laced with whiskey. "You're mine, bitch," he hissed, his words thick with spite. "You always will be."

You recoiled, your skin crawling with the venom in his voice. But Aki's reaction was instantaneous.

In one smooth motion, Aki stepped forward, his hands gripping Tanimoto with the precision of a man who had already calculated his every move. He wrenched Tanimoto away from you, pulling him back like a ragdoll. The scream you let out was involuntary as you watched Tanimoto's body snap against the force of Aki's grip.

Everything seemed to freeze for a moment, and then Aki's fist connected with Tanimoto's face in a brutal, merciless punch. The sound of bone meeting bone was sickening, a sharp crack that reverberated through the night air. Tanimoto staggered back, his eyes wide with shock, blood already trickling from the corner of his mouth. He collapsed, unable to regain his balance, and hit the ground with a heavy thud.

Aki wasn't done.

Without even pausing to let Tanimoto recover, Aki grabbed him by the collar, lifting him effortlessly from the ground. The sheer strength in Aki's arms was enough to make Tanimoto's body hang limp in his grasp. Aki didn't hesitate—he drove his knee into Tanimoto's stomach with force, the sickening sound of impact echoing around the empty street. Tanimoto gasped for air, clutching at his midsection as he crumpled again, unable to stand.

"You're a pathetic excuse for a man," Aki's voice was ice-cold, dripping with disgust. His eyes burned with an anger that was unfamiliar to you—this wasn't the man you had come to know, calm and composed in all situations. This was someone else, someone who was willing to tear Tanimoto apart to protect you. Aki's foot came down with brutal precision, landing a punishing kick to Tanimoto's groin. "This is the least you deserve," he spat.

Tanimoto let out a choked gasp, crumpling further to the ground. His body was twitching in pain, but there was nothing he could do. He was too weak to retaliate, too humiliated to stand.

Aki took a step back, his chest heaving with heavy breaths, his fists still clenched in anger. He looked down at Tanimoto like a predator about to finish the job, his eyes filled with contempt. "Putting your hands on a woman," Aki said, his voice low but intense, his words cutting through the air. "I should kill you right here."

Tanimoto tried to rise again, his hands shaking as he pushed himself to his knees. His face was a wreck—bruised, bloodied, and his pride shattered. But even as he struggled, there was still rage in his eyes. With one final, defiant growl, he lunged at Aki, desperate to get one last punch in.

But Aki was faster.

Without hesitation, he stepped to the side, grabbing Tanimoto by the arm and twisting it behind his back with ease. Tanimoto let out a strangled yell, his face contorting in pain as he fell to the ground again, this time unable to rise.

Aki stood over him, his breathing still heavy but under control now. He was still seething, but he wasn't finished yet.

At this point, the rest of the crowd from inside the bar began to filter outside, drawn by the noise. Some looked on in surprise, others in confusion, but none of them dared to intervene. A few people approached you, checking on you, but your focus was on Aki—the man who had just shattered the last remnants of your past.

Tanimoto groaned, struggling to sit up, but his pride wasn't enough to hold him together anymore. He wiped blood from his mouth and staggered backward, his body shaking from both pain and the humiliation of being brought so low.

Aki's body was a wall between you and him, like a shield that wouldn't let Tanimoto come any closer. As Tanimoto finally stumbled to his feet, his eyes locked on you with pure malice. "Get away from my bitch," he hissed, the words thick with contempt.

Your heart slammed in your chest, a fire igniting inside of you as the word hit you like a slap. But before you could respond, Aki's voice cut through the night. "I'll break your fucking nose if you call her that again," he growled, stepping forward, his body a perfect wall of muscle and fury.

But this time, you weren't going to let him have the last word. The anger that had been simmering in your chest finally broke free, your voice loud and clear as you snapped, "Don't call me that. I'm not your bitch."

Tanimoto sneered, his lips curling into a venomous grin. "Like hell you aren't," he spat, his voice filled with a twisted sense of ownership.

Aki's presence next to you was solid, unshakable, but for the first time, you felt the power in your own words too. Tanimoto, though broken and beaten, didn't want to let go of the last bit of control he thought he had. But you were done with him—done with the lies, done with the manipulation, done with the abuse.

"Are you drunk?" Aki's voice was low, a quiet growl that barely masked the anger bubbling underneath. His words were clipped, measured, as though he were trying to keep himself from exploding. "Go home. You're embarrassing yourself."

Tanimoto's laugh was harsh and jagged, a hollow sound that made your skin crawl. "It's not fucking over until I say it is," he spat, swaying on his feet, his face flushed with the effort of staying upright. "Baby, come home. Please. This isn't over. You remember what we had, right? I love you. We built a life together."

You could feel the bile rising in your throat, his words a twisted version of everything you had once believed. "What life?" The words escaped before you could stop them, thick with bitterness. "What fucking life?" Your voice shook, but the defiance in it was sharp. "There's nothing left here, Tanimoto. Nothing."

For a moment, he just stared at you, disbelief spreading across his face like oil on water. The anger that had flared in his eyes faltered, replaced by something more dangerous—something darker. It was like he couldn't comprehend what you were saying, like he hadn't even realized how far gone things had truly been.

But then his expression twisted into something cruel, his grip on your arm tightening until you thought your skin might tear. "You don't mean that. We had something real, Baby."

The words burned your insides, but you stood tall, shaking your head. "Bullshit! That's not love, Tanimoto. Not even close."

A voice cut through the rising tension, startling you. "You lost, man. Get a grip." Denji's voice was casual, but there was a new edge to it, a calm confidence that sent a ripple through the crowd.

You hadn't noticed him until now, his presence suddenly as solid as Aki's, his eyes hard and unblinking as he faced down Tanimoto. You had no idea how long he'd been there, but now, as he stood beside you, it felt like you weren't so alone.

Tanimoto swayed in Denji's direction, his lips curling into a sneer. "Stay out of this, kid," he slurred, his voice thick with contempt. But Denji didn't flinch. Didn't even blink. He just stood there, unmoving, like a wall Tanimoto couldn't break down.

You turned your head slowly, your eyes scanning the crowd that had gathered—Himeno, Makima, so many familiar faces, all of them watching. You felt like you were in a fishbowl, the eyes of the world suddenly too close, too suffocating. Aki wasn't paying attention to any of them. His eyes were locked on Tanimoto, burning with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat.

"Is she okay?" Aki's voice dropped, barely audible, but you could hear the undercurrent of rage there. "Did he hurt her?" The question was simple, but the way he said it—the way his jaw tightened as he took a step toward you—made you feel like the ground under your feet was shaking. Like everything that had been calm about Aki was unraveling before your eyes.

Denji spoke before you could answer. "She has a cut on her cheek. Looks like it's from his ring," he muttered, disgust clear in his tone as his gaze flicked to Tanimoto. "What a fucking joke."

The shift in Aki was so sudden, so terrifying, that for a moment, you couldn't breathe. His body tensed, every muscle pulling tight like a coiled spring. His face—his eyes—were nothing like the Aki you knew. This wasn't the quiet man you'd always relied on.

This was someone else entirely.

He stepped forward, his voice low, rough with barely contained anger. "I'll fucking kill you."

Tanimoto's face went pale, the bravado slipping from his eyes as his drunken haze flickered in and out. He opened his mouth to respond, but Aki didn't give him the chance. Before anyone could move, Aki's fist was flying through the air, landing with a sickening crack against Tanimoto's face. The sound of the punch echoed through the night, a brutal, unmistakable noise that left Tanimoto gasping for air, stumbling back.

"I'll put you down like the mutt you are–" Aki's words hit the air with a finality that sent a tremor through the crowd, his anger so palpable it was almost a living thing. Without hesitation, he was on Tanimoto, a force of nature in human form. His hand gripped Tanimoto's collar with the kind of cold precision that made the other man flinch before he was slammed hard against the brick wall. The sound was deafening—a crack that seemed to echo across the empty street.

Tanimoto's breath was knocked out of him, his wide eyes darting from Aki's face to the unforgiving wall behind him. Shock twisted his expression, his drunken stupor no match for the raw fury that burned in Aki's gaze. But Aki wasn't done. No, this wasn't some fleeting burst of anger; this was controlled, purposeful rage.

With a brutal shove, Aki sent Tanimoto stumbling forward, and in the same fluid motion, his knee drove into Tanimoto's stomach, the sickening sound of bone against bone making you flinch. Tanimoto let out a ragged gasp, the air torn from his lungs as he doubled over, crumpling like a ragdoll. But Aki wasn't done yet. No mercy. He wasn't going to stop until the man learned the gravity of his actions.

Tanimoto tried to push himself up, the effort weak and desperate, but Aki's boot came down on his ribs with the force of a freight train. The crack of bone was loud, sickening, and Tanimoto crashed to the ground with a pathetic groan, the fight drained out of him.

The crowd had gone silent. No one moved, no one breathed. The only sound was Tanimoto's labored breathing, his body a crumpled heap on the concrete. You stood frozen, your heart pounding in your chest, every beat a reminder of how quickly everything had spiraled out of control.

Tanimoto groaned again, weakly trying to crawl away, but Aki's glare pinned him in place. His face was a mess, bruised and swollen, his lip split and blood trickling down his chin. He gasped for breath, struggling to stay conscious, the remnants of his bravado crumbling beneath Aki's wrath.

Just as Aki stepped forward again, his eyes burning with more violence, a voice cut through the tension.

"Aki," Himeno's voice was firm but not without concern. "Enough. You're making a scene." She stepped in between them, hands outstretched, but her words barely seemed to register in Aki's furious mind.

He wrenched his arm from her grasp, chest heaving as he caught his breath. In the heat of his fury, he didn't care about the eyes of the crowd, the murmurs, the stares. He only cared about one thing: making sure Tanimoto understood just how badly he had fucked up. His fist clenched, and with a final, disgusted snarl, he leaned forward, spitting on Tanimoto's prone form. The insult landed with as much weight as his earlier blows, his contempt for the man evident in the cruel gesture.

And then, finally, Aki turned to you. His hand reached out, steady and gentle, and though his body was still tight with anger, his touch was a grounding force. He didn't say anything at first—he didn't need to. His gaze was enough, a silent promise – Stay by my side. I'll protect you.

"Let's go," Aki's voice was lower now, still heavy with the remnants of his fury, but softer. "I'm taking you home."

You looked up at him, your heart still racing, the ache of the last few hours threatening to break through the dam you had built around it. You shook your head, the words spilling out before you could stop them. You whispered, a soft whimper in your voice, "No, don't... don't take me back there, he's—"

"My home," Aki interrupted, his voice firm, unyielding, a wall of strength you could feel in your bones. "If I stay here another minute, I'm going to jail."

His words settled over you like a shield. They weren't an offer. They weren't a plea. They were a statement. And there was no room for argument, not now. His grip on your arm tightened, not painful, but firm—reminding you, making sure you knew, that he wasn't letting go. Not of you. Not of this.

"Come on," Aki said, his voice taking on that quiet authority that always seemed to make the world around you fade just a little. "We're leaving."

You nodded, your breath catching in your throat. You couldn't even look back at the wreckage of your past, the life you had left behind. The crowd of familiar faces, the horror in their eyes, all of it seemed miles away now. All that mattered was Aki and the safe, unwavering calm he provided amidst the chaos.

With one last glance at the man who had once been your husband—crumpled on the pavement, humiliated and broken—you walked away. Away from everything you had tried to escape. Away from the life that had suffocated you for too long.

And for the first time in ages, you allowed yourself to revel in the feeling.

a/n: IT HAPPENEDDDDDD!!! FINALLYYYYYY!!!! OH MY GOD I was so fucking happy, i had to get that out. the moment we have all been waiting for. talk to me yall... what did we think. did i please u my bbs.... lmk..... ANYWAY!!!! this semester im bringing a new me, im so excited, and im also SO SAD BECAUSE shameless will be coming to an end in a few chapters!!! OMG!!! im so devastated.... but dw im sure i'll have another fanfic up to take its place (You know i love me some aki). Stay tuned! Comment! I love u all bunches x

credits: UNKOWN ATM. I found the cover pic on pinterest unfortch. If you know the artist, please let me know, so I can credit them properly for their work!!! This is NOT MY BEAUTIFUL DRAWINGGG. I obviously do not own csm or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

also: come find me on my wattpad if u wanna interact more!

taglist: @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505 , @acethebrave , @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505

wanna join the taglist? | shameless ; chapter index

#notiddygxthgf ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚#shameless!#aki x reader #aki hayakawa x reader #hayakawa aki x reader #csm x reader #chainsaw man x reader #aki fluff #aki smut #denji #aki hayakawa

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kuni-is-daddy · 2 years ago

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Thinking about Scara making us rub his cock with our pussy until we both cum

DOM! BOSS SCARAMOUCHE X FEMALE BODYGUARD READER.

100 followers special AHH OMFG TY.

PURE FILTH.

Juicy stuff: Grinding,Recording, at a desk :<, Yandere themes

Featuring: CHILDE, he's your bestie in the start :) had so much fun writing Childe in this KKLMK I LOVE HIM❤️❤️😩

1.2K WORDS.

amazing art credits! Scara masterlist Part 1 of Boss scara.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

Stillness, Silence. The complete opposite of thunder. And that was his mother, The raiden shogun. God of thunder. Rumors spread around the elaborate 'Gakaden' company that once again her excellency has cancelled another meeting with her son. Its been 200 years since he's last seen her, heard her voice. Scaramouche was only able to rejoice in the sweet sent she left from each letter that was sent in her fluid handwriting.

"Y/n Y/n!" Childe said while tapping your shoulder. "Ah! Childe!! you scared me. Dont sneak up on me like that!" you nudged his shoulder in return. "Hah hah. sorry comrade~ anyway. Did you hear about scara?" you closed the book, bookmarking where you left off. "Yeah our Excellency is quite the busy woman. At least now i can catch up on my book" you smiled. "Why'd you ask? Is everything okay?" You gave a concerned look and the ginger then laughed at you. "Well the thing is.....IM GOING BACK HOME!!!" he took out a picture of teucer and the rest of his siblings. They we're wearing christmas sweaters while holding a 'welcome home' sign. "oh shit really!? your going back to snezhnaya? Thats great childe! how long are you going to be gone?" "hmm probably a month or two. Scara said we needed a break." Childe said "We? what do you mean by we?" You looked at him suprised. "Soo...You dont know gurly?" You gave a straight face. "No- I dont know GUrLy" "Scara is giving us a month off from work. He said something about wanting time to himself and-- I dont know the rest. To be honest, all i know is that we come back next month on the 30th." You scanned the room to see your fellow co-workers organizing their desks and holding boxes in their hands. "Seriously!? Thats great! That means i can go back home and-" Suddenly. The intercom rang with a short beep.

"If Y/N L/N Is still present in the building, Please report to Lord Scaramouche's Office Immediately!"

You tilted your head at the request. "Oooo did you get in trouble y/n??" "No? Or at least.. I hope not." You got up and placed your book back on your desk. Sighing at the sudden realization you we're gonna be by yourself without your 'best friend' for another month. "hey hey.. Cheer up okay? Its only a month and besides. WE CAN ALWAYS TEXT!!" childe waved his phone in your face, your sad expression then turning into a happy one. "HEY THERE GURLY-" "YOU LOOK WELL" "CARE TO EXCHANGE.." "NOTES?" The both of you giggled and then hugged eachother one final time. "Im gonna miss you so much ajax~" "of course, The one time you say my name its when im leaving-."

The intercom rang again. "Y/N... L/N.... REPORT TO LORD SCARAMOUCHE'S OFFICE IMMEDIATELY." now with a more nervous tone then ever. "God. Wonder whats going on over there they need me so bad." "Well..Ill be seeing you Comrade. Take care for me okay?" He gave you a kiss on the forehead, ending it off with you two doing your signature handshake as he walked out of the company.

While climbing the many floors you eventually made it to the 13th floor. Your master's office. You slowed down your stroll in the long cold dark hallway at the sound of pleads and yells. "P-PLEASE LORD SCARAMOUCHE.. I DONT KNOW WHERE SHE IS. I ASKED THROUGH THE WHOLE BUILDING TWICE, HAVE MERCY-" It sounded like the woman on the intercom. "Twice? I said bring her to my fucking office. Not call her, Not ASK around for her. Bring her. But you cant even do your goddam job." you put your hand against the doorknob, conflicting weather you should intervene or not. "Your nothing. Do you know that? Nobody special. I dont care about your family, Your kids, Or your life. Under me, Your just someone i hired for my mothers sake. Just a worker. Replaceable like the rest of the humans in here." You turned the doorknob, hoping to intervene in what sounded like the potential murder of your co-worker. She was being held by her throat, hovering over the balcony while scara held his signature katana in his other hand. "KUNI- STOP!" he turned his head immediately at the use of that name. The woman fell, gasping for air while recklessly running for her life out of the building.

"Hm. So you are here, Close the door." he dropped his blade in its stand and walked towards you. You closed the door, making sure it was locked and immediately turned your head. "Kuni? What the hell was that? Why did you try to KILL that woman??" He rubbed his hand along your shoulder. "Does it realllyyy matter baby? I can just hire a new one you know." he scoffed. "Kuni. Humans arent replaceable. You cant just KILL someone like that." "Mhm..Your right. Cant replace you and that sexy body of yours~" He grew closer to you, Placing your hand against his tie. "W-well..You wont have to worry about me. Or Ajax leaving..Anyway..Why did you call me in here- Master." He pulled away at your change in tone. If theirs one thing that drove kuni crazy about you, is how persistent you we're with work. Still managing to stay perfessional. He sat back behind his desk, Clicking his pen with a laid back expression. "Not in a good mood today pet, Was hoping you could change that f' me~" The balcony door was still open a bit behind him, the warm summer air breezed through the room. Making you tug at your own suit with how hot it started to feel, How intimidating he looked from across the room as you stood at the door. "O-okay..Where do you want me to go master? Do you want to go out to eat? I just have to get my case and-" he sighed and began unzipping his pants.

"Come here and ill show you~" You we're nervous at how intimate he sounded but reluctantly walked towards him. He looked you up and down, noticing how similar your outfit was to his. How your hips curved around the belt. "Want you to sit..Right here..." He rubbed his hands against his thighs, Motioning for you to sit. "B-but we shouldnt do it here- theirs people still working kuni-" He sucked his teeth at your remark. "You think i fucking care Pet? dont want to make master more mad do you?" "N..no..I dont." You closed the blinds to the balcony, remembering how you almost witnessed another womans murder infront of your eyes.. over you. You faced scara and blushed. Turning your head away while stripping each piece of clothing off of you until you wore nothing but lacey black lingerie. "God..You look so hot in those.." he groaned as you hovered over his cock. positioning your pussy right against it, "Grind on daddys cock. Fuck yes~" He threw his head back as your hands held onto the chair for stability.

"A-am i doing good for you master...?" he pressed his hands against your ass, slapping them as they made contact "AH~" "Hell yeah.. Your doing so good' want you wet for me." He shifted his hands towards your underwear, slowly making them shift down so he could see your clit. "K-kuni! what are you doing.." "Ugh~ turn your head back up- Wanna feel your clit rubbing against me" He pulled your underwear down, Repositioning you so your clit rubbed against his big length, Teasing you as your hole ached for him to be inside of you. "Master~ Your so big..hah..." "Yeah you like that pet? Like how good it feels against you?" Wet stains started to emerge on his pants as you grinded faster against him, Chasing the burning feeling he gave you. "K-kuni~ Feels so' good~ Please..fuck me.." you shifted your grip away from the chair, now tightly holding onto him instead. "Mmm dont think thats good enough love, Beg for it." Begging. Kuni always made you beg and scream for him, He loved hearing how desperate you we're for him to fill you up. To claim you as his. Watching as you cried in frustration when he'd pull out just when your about to cum. "K-KUNI~ PLEASE M' SO CLOSE" "Shit~ keep moaning like that, cum for daddy, cum for me. and ill fuck you. Fuck~ hah...bounce those tits for me. You look so fucking good~" he slowly pulled his phone out, Recording how your tongue stuck out for him and your tits bounced. How you looked like a dog in heat. "Fuck..Thats it y/n Dont stop, dont fucking stop." "AH~ K-KUNI M' GONNA CUM~ KUNI!!!!!!!!"

Your juices squirted all over kuni's pants as he came at the same time as you. You looked up to notice him recording you and covered your face in embarassment. "Mmm... is my little slut embarassed? god look at the fucking mess you made." He let his phone fall down on the floor. Roughly grabbing you and placing you against the desk. "K-Kuni! Dont be so- MMM~" he tied his tie around your mouth. Throwing his clothes onto the floor and picking up his phone once again. "Shit...Cant get enough of you y/n~ love how this pussy is all mine~ are you mine pet?" you nodded your head with no hesitation.

"Fuck yes. Im gonna break you."

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tankgotstuckinthecircusgate · 3 months ago

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^ this one is actually for a completely different plot moment (takes place in 1932) but.............................🤨🤨🤨

i swear im workin but quick note before i forget it: thought this morning that carlo could consider killing himself after killing xaviero and no not bc he felt himself guilty not at all, he was just afraid that moretti would get rid of him as well literally inspired by: ""the brother of one of the coachmen killed for robbing Florio's villa was forced to commit suicide because he was suspected of collaborating with the authorities. One of Sangiorgi's informants <…> who was the main informant <…> about the corpses at the well had to leave the country." <- he was given safe passage, provided with a passport, but a hired assassin caught up with him in New Orleans and poisoned him" but it's not bout authorities, after finding out bout xaviero moretti thought that carlo simply broke omerta and carlo had all the reasons to think that moretti could kill him as well even though he obeyed to kill his brother

and then moretti makes carlo his capo and carlo is 1) relieved 2) thinks god fucking loves him & goes to church to say mega epic pray (he's a hypocrite & turns to god only in some exact moments)

#maybe i should change it & take it for that moment instead...........#carlo gives up and shoots in the photo of xaviero instead bc he fucking hates the guy at least in this moment #sorry ❤️ brainrot❤️#it was actually bout carlo slowly goin insane bc he wants take moretti's place so bad but he needs to wait and wait and wait #& moretti stopped trusting him again bc its basically a war time & he doesnt fkin know how to gain moretti's trust again #<- he finds a way later & rocco is a big part of this now ❤️#like both vinci n moretti r afraid of their ppl turning their backs on them & working for the other side (which is completely fair)#omfg i rumble so much today. i think work just stimulates my brain more than usual and my work is mostly boring af atm #upd. i think maybe eddie & his uncle (2nd mostly) vouched for carlo bc moretti could actually kill him #if u died nothing in my life would change🥰 the fact that hes presented as “led in old traditional ways built on loyalty trust etc”#doesnt make him a kind & forgiving person. family's safety stands above everything else its simply logical. so its quite the opposite #eddies uncle (or ok if i change my opinion then just his underboss) assured moretti that guy prove his loyalty already by killing his only #relative living in usa (and well. not just relative but a brother). maybe also vouched for him becoming a capo + but theres def was some #some kind of discussion between all high ranks of the family bc its important stuff to them. im so smart

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ilikekidsshows · 3 months ago

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With Adrien now having lost both his parents (and couldn't even bury them), lost his uncle (yes, that counts), and having gone through Emilie's, Gabriel's, and Nathalie's health going south in front of his eyes, I just... I lost a couple of family members in the last 2 years (two very recently) and our home situation was always very... complicated to say the least on top of our family having quite alot of health issues.

I don't know how sympathetic I can stay with Miraculous and Marinette when they will now clearly make light of being an abused and guilt ridden orphan because Marinette is gonna continue crying whenever she feels the slightest discomfort about everything that isn't about her.

If the show has Marinette now complain about her parents bc of some set up drama to Adrien and he'll be given shit for being "unsupportive" because he tells her that her parents aren't the worst and instead she should talk to them (which was her (awful) advice to him in Risk but it's correct here). I just don't know how I can watch that without going off. No way is Marinette gonna be respectful about Adrien being an orphan the second her parents aren't perfect. She probably won't even remember or simply be dismissive the way she always is when something opposes her opinion.

Marinette is never written to be truly respectful to any kind abuse in the show besides her own and bully victims. She's even written to be a solid bit ableist because once it's not Marinette's problem it ain't real and people "need to be put in place". Marinette not being a raging dick doesn't mean she's respectful. I noticed that her dialogue very rarely actually empathizes with the victims. She just tells them they can try again and change their feelings and situations to what she decided is the correct way to be and think. Marinette doesn't truly help people, she tells them how to best suit herself so they can then help her after they corrected their existence to her liking. That's literally all Marinette did to Shadybug omfg. I hate it here.

If Lila causes trouble in Marinette's family, no way will Marinette be tolerant of Adrien's situation. And I don't know if I can watch that.

And I don't think this is me being too sensitive at all. Just like there are abused children who are constantly getting shit on by Marinette's story, orphans very obviously exist. But Marinette isn't an orphan so now there is a new group of children who need to "learn their lesson" that their problems aren't real because Marinette is upsette.

Sorry for being pessimistic, but it makes me so unbelievably angry that Miraculous has turned into nothing but a kids show that's just for the pretty and privilege Girls who were bullied (or maybe not even that) and now want a power fantasy that validates all their worst emotional cravings of revenge on literally everyone else's expense because SOMETHING didn't went their way and now that's the worst thing ever.

I hate that Miraculous became a show that I don't want children to watch because of how awful the Marinette centric morality is. Every bad message possible is send to children as long as it validates Marinette and her kinnies and it's a prime example of the type of privileged western feminism that gives feminism such a bad name. So forgive me for not believing that Marinette will suddenly be written differently the moment Lila has her parents disagree with her about something (like wanting her to take over the bakery) and Marinette will inevitably be written to stomp her foot, scream, cry, and throw up about how abused, oppressed, and unprivileged she is until she entirely gets her way.

No I don't think Marinette will be understanding of Adrien in that case. She will start crying and pouting about not being validated and Adrien taking her parents side, and say that Adrien's experiences don't count and he just "doesn't get it" until he agrees that his way worse experience isn't worth anything (the way she always makes him as Cat Noir believe taht his feelings, perspective and experiences aren't real. He just "doesn't get" how correct and benevolent she is, until he gives in and accepts that he's irrelevant and worthy of abuse the way she likes it apparently. Or the class not being allowed to have their own opinions on Chloe because Marinette thinks their experiences of being bullied by Chloe aren't "valid" enough to make a judgement call whenever it doesn't validate her, only SHE can have the right opinion)

When has Marinette ever been written to actually respect other victims? The most she does is stop being a dick about it and instead "kindly" wait for the victims to understand taht they are wrong and she's right. They don't have real problems, only HER, so its HER who needs all the effort and support. The others just need to stop and get over it.

I've yet to see anything in Miraculous that gives me a real reason to believe Marinette is not gonna be a shit girlfriend now the moment she isn't getting whatever she wants and Adrien isn't 24/7 validating her. Marinette has become such a privileged character who walks over all kinds of victims but would never take accountability for it because "it's not her fault" and "her feelings are valid, everyone is just so awful and mean to her!"

I pitty every child growing up with Miraculous who doesn't have the privilege of being a Marinette. And now they are gonna drag orphans into that too...

---

They don’t even need to give Marinette family problems to make her be insensitive to Adrien, in my opinion. Her most minor grievances are the most important problem for her, no matter what anyone else has going on. Adrien could be going to his father's funeral and Marinette would stalk him there unless he invites her along like it’s a date and she would treat the situation like she was the one facing the hardship of Adrien not inviting her everywhere he goes.

Marinette has been treating Adrien’s worries as unimportant since day one. Adrien being locked up was only bad because he couldn’t come to the trick dates Marinette tried to set up. Adrien has a “perfect life” because he’s rich and famous, because nothing else about his life has worked out for him in any way. But Marinette will only acknowledge something is wrong when he’s being forced to hang out with girls who aren’t Marinette herself, meaning it’s once again about her and how her dream boy/boyfriend is being pushed off on other girls when he should be with her.

So, yeah, I totally don't see the writers allowing Adrien to grieve his parents for more than a second. I can just see it, Adrien with a photo of the family he no longer has, and we instantly cut to Marinette whining about how Adrien has been so distant with her and the fandom instantly cries: "How dare Adrien grieve his supervillain dad (that he doesn't know was a supervillain)! He should be with Marinette because she's upsette!"

#ml salt #ml fandom salt #dats chats

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sk1fanfiction · 22 days ago

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okay hi, i've finally caught up and have now read the last chapter so here we go !!

(ch. 22/108 rev) — that was intense omfg, cass !! i'm so so glad no one died (i was a little worried for sirius and tee im ngl, i was surprisingly very very sure that nothing happens to harry despite the whole "he's dead" theatrics). from the beginning when they're getting to malfoy manor you can just feel like it's a whole operation, immaculate from the start. i love it when we get tom's pov bc there's just something so raw with his character, like every time he thinks about dumbledore or voldemort (or his actual father) it's just so interesting.

"that the great wizard of his personal legend would again want nothing to do with him."

stop. every time tom gets rejected by one of his counterparts i get sad like hello?? wdym your own self doesn't want you 😭😭 come here pookie, i want you

"He should not want to be coddled. That was childish and stupid. He was no longer the oldest left in Wool's Orphanage. And Voldemort was not his father."

the daddy issues goes crazy here i fear but i do feel for him, he's never really gotten a proper parental figure (at least until now with dumbledore - "he thinks you the son he never had" just hitsss)

""The little bitch bit me!" yelped another man, this one with a high, wheezing voice."

yes hermione !! people who bite in fights are genuinely my fave

"Tee was struck, as they rounded the corner which Bill had just disappeared around, how much Sirius sounded like this woman — looked like her too, he realised, as they emerged into the light."

i will always always eat up a sirius black x bellatrix black parallel. it's my fave thing !! it feels so symbolic (i also just love the house of black and their drama, they are way more complicated than people give them credit for)

"Recognition flashed in Dolohov's eyes. "You like puzzles, eh?"

oh the irony of saying that to a riddle (icb more people don't make jokes with his name... well i can bc he's a young voldemort but STILL harry go at it)

"I want to commit the murder I was sentenced to Azkaban for!"

i love sirius so bad, he's so hilarious like yes pookie, you suffered in a hell-hole, might as well kill the guy who put you there (ofc i would suggest proving his survival and then killing him but what do i know?)

the whole tee vs bella fight is so funny like girl… that's your dark lord as a jr 😭 but omg i see you've taken the take that bella doesn't know about voldemort's heritage?? (i've seen people think that she is aware and still supports him which kind of doesn't make sense unless she's a hypocrite which strikes me as very ooc for bellatrix unless but then again azkaban + dark arts + grooming + sunk-cost fallacy + fear would be a very dangerous combination for anyone and might very well cause hypocrisy 😭) also nice to know that tom is also struggling to remember his age (he's just like the rest of us)

"He'd forgotten how enjoyable this was. Pushing someone to the edge. Watching them teeter on the cliff."

your honour, he's sick and likes to drive people insane !! (it must say something about me too bc i just found that attractive yikes)

"If you will release my assistant—"

he's so casual about it everything, sigh, dumble will always be a diva referring to a horcrux of a dark lord as "assistant"

ugh harry….. MY POOKIE. i feel like it's just so sad every time he turns into an obscurial, like it hurts ME and i'm not even there so i can only imagine how ruby feels seeing her own brother, her twin she shared a womb with and the majority of her life was by his side felt (she must be feeling esp guilty for her year long camping trip and keeping things from him extra hard)

"Voldemort and Dumbledore were still fighting, oblivious to the rest of the chaos."

they're so obsessed with each other yikes can you at least mind your surroundings? there's a whole obscurial !!!

""I know." He paused. "About what?""

his first instinct to say he's right takes me out (it's also very me so)

"He was probably annoyed about not being first in line."

this is so important though, she's finally opening up !!

the feels in this chapter were so exceptional. i just felt the desperation, the hurt, the panic, the anxiety... and ik dumbledore felt hurt at what tom said ("father and son said what? "what?") when questioned by voldemort but what's curious to me is how ruby tries to act like she expects it (which she might which ig is more powerful since despite it all she was still affected) but she's also deeply hurt by it, just in denial. i do think tom is also unaware that everything he does might've started out a "repaying debts" and "choosing the better options" but definitely along the line he's developed some care for (ruby, dumbledore maybe even harry) and just can't bring himself to admit it or even recognise it. very very interesting dynamics. also, maybe this was like just for narratives sake but... does tom not know ron, hermione, and anthony's names?? 😭 (if he doesn't then that's just hilarious and definitely backs my hc that he's terrible at remembering people's name, esp their first names). also, during my re-read, i noticed that harry and ruby kind of see people they care about in riddle?? (harry sees some of hermione and ruby sees some of harry) and it freaks them out a lot and i think it's because it definitely humanises him to them, esp ruby who would do ANYTHING for her brother as established. i also was wondering about the riddle ring, nice to see ruby's still got it !! idk i just think this series is sick. i have so many thoughts that i've probably forgotten but this is long anyway so i'll end it here !

i'm so so glad no one died

I'm just saving the Major Character Death tag for Year Six (kidding? kidding! am i?)

i was a little worried for sirius and tee im ngl, i was surprisingly very very sure that nothing happens to harry despite the whole "he's dead" theatrics

As I said I don't really have the heart to kill off Sirius (so every threat is kinda empty). And Harry's plot armour is so insane that I was pretty sure I wasn't fooling anyone despite all the cloak and dagger and misdirection and deliberately hiding him from you for the better part of two chapters and waving my hands and yelling HE'S DEAD!!

there's just something so raw with his character

It's the unresolved Daddy Issues (and the fact he's not completely emotionally closed-off yet compared to Voldemort).

yes hermione !! people who bite in fights are genuinely my fave

Well she trapped Rita Skeeter in a jar and came up with the Sneak Curse, she is definitely (canonically) a biter.

I love love parallels and especially this one, too! It's a shame when they get flattened into the 'Black Madness' or other tropes. I feel like it's not really portrayed in the movies unfortunately (because they both got flanderised).

you've taken the take that bella doesn't know about voldemort's heritage??

Yes, I haven't gone through the Original Texts with a fine-tooth comb to check for Complete Canonicity, though I know a lot of people say Bellatrix probably knew because Wormtail did (but Wormtail is too much of a coward to repeat the Dark Lord's Private Business and blood purity isn't a motivating factor for him, he just wanted to be on the winning side) and Barty at least knew that Voldemort had a bad 'relationship' with his dad, not necessary that he was a Muggle (but I think Voldemort only told him that to make him more loyal), if we just take what we know about Bellatrix and Voldemort at face value, I don't think he would ever tell her that one of his parents is a Muggle no matter how close they were (re: this really short meta and this slightly longer one). Yes, he (both Diary!Tom and Voldemort) told Harry but that's just for the good old 'you're just like me' hero/villain evil speech effect. Maybe this is a heretical take though, idk...

your honour, he's sick and likes to drive people insane !!

"Lord Voldemort is my past, present, and future." (Giving Tom some psychological violence as a treat because Dumbledore said it was his favourite in HBP).

dumble will always be a diva referring to a horcrux of a dark lord as "assistant"

Phineas Nigellus Black said it best, however you feel about Dumbledore, you can't deny he's got style ;)

i feel like it's just so sad every time he turns into an obscurial, like it hurts ME and i'm not even there so i can only imagine how ruby feels seeing her own brother, her twin she shared a womb with and the majority of her life was by his side felt (she must be feeling esp guilty for her year long camping trip and keeping things from him extra hard)

He was literally at his breaking point :(((

Hence the Castor and Pollux mention (at the time I was writing it I was thinking maybe it's too on the nose but they are literally intentionally divine twins-coded so...)

his first instinct to say he's right takes me out (it's also very me so)

Ofc Tom believes he's always right (also, valid).

ik dumbledore felt hurt at what tom said

He was indeed in his feelings.

ruby tries to act like she expects it [...] but she's also deeply hurt by it, just in denial.

Exactly! She has Complex Feelings about Tee for definite (I mean she literally named him and summoned him from the purgatory realm or whatever and befriended him but he's also literally Voldemort).

i just felt the desperation, the hurt, the panic, the anxiety...

I'm so glad all of that came through (I love hurting my characters, ngl)

i do think tom is also unaware that everything he does might've started out a "repaying debts" and "choosing the better options" but definitely along the line he's developed some care for (ruby, dumbledore maybe even harry) and just can't bring himself to admit it or even recognise it.

This!!! Tom is always going to be a character with low empathy IMO but that doesn't mean that he doesn't care at all, even if that's the reality delusion he tries to create for himself.

does tom not know ron, hermione, and anthony's names??

He doesn't. He was never paying attention in the first place lol.

i noticed that harry and ruby kind of see people they care about in riddle?? (harry sees some of hermione and ruby sees some of harry) and it freaks them out a lot and i think it's because it definitely humanises him to them, esp ruby who would do ANYTHING for her brother as established.

Ruby definitely sees Harry in him (because of the canon Harry/Tom parallels 'we even look something alike' and all that) and it (amongst other things) causes major cognitive dissonance. There are definitely Tom/Hermione parallels that Harry picks up in (being Muggle-born/assumed Muggle-born, being know-it-alls) but potentially the worse source of Riddle-related anxiety for him is how Dumbledore sees him (potentially both in the same way) versus the literal existence of Lord Voldemort versus his knowledge of his own parallels.

"Am I meant to feel sorry for him?" It was a genuine question. He could only think of Riddle standing before him the night the castle was attacked. Of the strange, misplaced kinship, of rage and pity. It was like seeing himself in one of those funhouse mirrors; his reflection twisted into something grotesque and disturbing.

#asks #mimi #<3

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astropookie · 2 years ago

Text

Astro observations bc it turned into one ⭕️

I’m fucking trying to do a short post again but my overthinking powers are gaining me. I fucking hate myself, this post was supposed to be a family astro observation post and then I turned it into a moon sign post and then into an astro observation post, and you know what?! IT’S MARVELOUS OKAY

Disclaimer: we have to imagine everyone has a functional family 🤩

Taurus moon child tends to be the mommas kid. They just love the comfort in those hugs, it gives them peace or certainly a mom-son moment. They could (would) appreciate it daily. (sorry for those motherless taurus moons)

The Gemini moon kid ALWAYS have a mom that is not certain a mom, they don’t fit in the prototype of a traditional mom. The mom of these children are working, or hate doing stuff like buying school material for their children, they could not even listen to their kids when they’re talking…I don’t fucking know too specific I know I feel like the kid could have felt that the mom was in her own world, thinking and thinking, spacing out, that they couldn’t relay on them, sometimes.

Aquarius mercury 12H kid please just shut the fuck up. Well I mean, don’t but yes. First, yes because you have so many reasons to speak out. About the things that you perceive (too much bb, you’re like a sponge😭), the injustice, etc., also about the introspection you have done and the very strong emotional depth you have to deal with but you don’t want to and let almost nobody know about it blablabla … Everything is peaceful and harmonious until you decide that the best way to approach is to be taken by your impulses and the strong emotions you feel, to finally speak out. Aquarius mercuries always think they’re right, so stubborn, will think that their idea is better. It could be so hurtful to others, the words you say without thinking how it would affect them. Winning an argument is not always satisfactory. You have to know, I’m just saying 😟🤭 Please, take a deep breath and repeat with me: “I have the ability to control myself, open my mind and see that even if I’m suffering and feel TOO MUCH it hurts, it doesn’t mean I have the right to hurt others with my actions and CERTAINLY words. It’s important to prepare or think what I’m about to call out, because nobody it’s going to take me serious if I yell uncontrollably”. Poor parents (not true fuck them no lie no fuck them like yes but no), everything is injustice, the way they treat you, blablabla etc. (I’m not a fan of supporting parents) I was going to turn this into a child observation and I deviate from the topic. Kill me please. omfg I’m so dramatic.

People with Gemini rising are SO OVERTHINKERS, THEY THINK TOO MUCH. I know it’s too obvious okay? They’re so logical, they think twice, not twice, 462946 times before doing something “risky” (that’s not even risky, for me at least). If I said “Do it for the experience”, they’re not going to deny the idea at first, but they’re going to stay forever in their minds and think if it’s a good idea, the pros the cons, the people, environment, etc. everything you could imagine. They’re gonna be like “I don’t knooow”, and start making questions about the plan. They take their time. And the more they think the more pessimist they turn and finally they’re gonna decline. They are going to ghost you or take a pause or not going to confirm. But these implies only and most if you ask them out or on an event situation, something that has to do with changing environment or simply take them out of their house.

Not in the way Libras sun do, they meditate the idea to make the best decision -I’m not saying Gemini risings don’t do that-, and they could be so indecisive in routine questions, like if they ask them “what do you want? chocolate milk or normal milk?” or “Should I put these pants or these ones?” I’m the libra sun I DONT FUCKING KNOW OKAY? IM IN MY FUCKING MIND AND I HAVE TO DRESS THE WAY I FEEL AND THE OCCASION OF COURSE AND THE…😭PLEASE HELP ME

—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

•This is based on my personal experience.

•English is not my first language.

•I’m not a profesional astrologer.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

#astro observations #astrology #libra sun #12h placements #taurus moon #aquarius #aquarius mercury #gemini #gemini moon #taurus #gemini rising #pisces moon #astrologia #sag venus #pinterest #thisisnotmyfirstlanguage #fuck it #astro notes

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tonberry-yoda · 11 months ago

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Love your writings! Enemies to lovers with our favourite capo? 👀

Enemies to Lovers - Bruno Bucciarati

notes - SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG OMFG! It's literally been in my ask box for a year dude. It might not be the best and I apologize, but nonetheless, it was still fun. I hope you enjoy, even if it's silly. word count - 861

You were told to kill Bruno Bucciarati.

It was part of the job. Kill important people, make lots of money. Easy right?

You looked at yourself in the mirror as you tied up your hair and hid a knife in a garter around your leg. You felt… pretty. You smiled at yourself and turned to look at your outfit.

A ball with mafia members wasn’t rare, and it wasn’t rare that you went to them. You had actually met Bruno on several occasions.

It was such a shame you had to kill the poor man.

He was kind. Kinder than a lot of people you had met on the job. Kind, but he hated you. You knew he did. The way he would look at you over his glass of champagne from across the room, you just knew he wanted to kill you.

Frankly, you didn’t like him much either. You weren’t supposed to be kind in the mafia. If he was supposed to be any sort of boss, he should act like one. You were busting your ass just to hope that you would get promoted while he was building his way up dressed like a model.

You felt really good about the night to come. Never had you been so… nervous about a job.

You walked to the car that was waiting for you just outside of your house and you crawled in, thanking the driver.

It wasn’t a long drive, just a stressful one. You could feel your hands shaking. You had done this a thousand times before, so why was it so hard all of the sudden? You took a deep breath as the car stopped in front of a large mansion. You thanked the driver again and stepped out. The knife you hid was still securely against your thigh, so you walked to the entrance without a second thought.

The ballroom was crowded. Full of thousands of members of the mafia trying to make deals and kill each other. The energy was ecstatic. You loved it.

You scanned the room trying to get something. Anything. Any sign that Bruno was there. He had to be there. You saw dozens of familiar faces, so where was he?

“Hello, y/n.”

You nearly jumped out of your skin hearing Bruno behind you. You turned around and smiled wryly at him.

“Bucciarati.” You nodded.

“How lovely to see you.” He smiled.

“You as well.”

“Champagne?” He held out a glass to you with golden, bubbly liquid.

You took it with a smile. “How considerate.” You took a long sip, not once taking your eyes off of Bruno. The knife on your leg was getting antsy.

“Would you care to dance?” Bruno asked.

He was making this easy for you… too easy. You gave him a side eye, but took his hand anyway, setting your drink down on the table, knowing that you would probably never see it again.

Bruno swept you onto the dance floor, perfectly wrapping his arm around your waste. Dare you think that he was trying to make you fall in love.

“So, what are you doing here?” he asked quietly.

“What everyone else is doing here.” you answered vaguely.

“Always so clever.” he chuckled, shaking his head.

You two danced for a while. It felt like your heart was going to burst out of your chest and give you away if you didn't do anything soon.

“Everything all right?” Bruno asked.

You smiled. “Mhm. Just fine.”

“It’s getting crowded in here,” he whispered in your ear. “Let’s take this to the garden.”

Now you knew that he had figured out something. You were screwed if you followed him, but you were even more screwed if you didn’t. You let him lead you to the garden and tried to keep some sanity. It was a simple job. It was the least you could do.

It was cold out. But the kind of cold that you enjoy after time in the beating sun. A chill ran down your spine, but you didn't mind it.

Bruno sat on a bench next to some daisies and patted the open spot next to him. You sat next to him and looked up at the stars and moon. Now or never.

“Who’s paying you to kill me?” Bruno asked.

You weren’t shocked.

“Can't tell you.” you said.

He hummed in response. “I see. Well, are you going to do it?”

You looked over at him and chuckled. “No, I don’t think so.”

“No? Don't tell me you’re going soft.”

You slowly took the knife out and twirled it in your hand. “Not soft. I just think I brought the wrong weapon.”

Bruno laughed and leaned back on the bench. “Some other time then?”

You looked at the knife. “Yeah. Some other time.”

You turned to pull the knife out on him, to actually get the job done, but Bruno planted a quick kiss on your cheek and disappeared.

That knife wouldn’t have been of much help anyway.

Strangely, you longed for the next meeting with Bruno. To perhaps actually get the job done with a better weapon and a long dance.

~~~~~

jjba masterlist (2) (3) (4) | pinned post | ko-fi

2024 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated <3

~~~~~

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laurrelise · 5 months ago

Note

saw your tua post about five i dont go here but i need to know did they pull an incest again. is that why everyones mad or did the ship just suck

ok so i’m assuming you’re talking about season 4!! i’ll leave this part very vague and spoiler free and if you don’t mind more specific spoilers (only about the ship, not about the actual end of the season) than check under the cut! :)

ok so not incest this time. the ship just reeeeeally sucks because it’s not only out of character but it ruined multiple arcs and relationships.

unhinged angry explanation of my least favorite part about season 4 below the cut!! (beware: yapping)

ok hi again! so five and lila get together. they fall for each other after they get stuck between timelines in this alternate dimension subway station thing, and they spend 7 years trying to find their way back home.

it turns out that lila was only doing it to survive because she needed something to hold onto while five, having been through this once before, had fallen head over heels for her.

he withholds information that can take them home for 6 months and lila is pissed and tells him it wasn’t real because she wants to get home to diego and her children, and five tells her that she knows she’s happier between timelines with him, blah blah blah it’s a whole thing.

five reluctantly goes back with lila and it’s really awkward and he’s pissed at diego (even though it was LITERALLY NEVER HIS FAULT) because lila is clearly still in love with him. they argue a little, lila gets between them, diego suspects something’s going on and asks, and then the truth unfolds and he’s (REASONABLY) heartbroken. it’s really sad to watch tbh

anyways then the end of the world starts to happen once again and i won’t go into specific spoilers for that because it would take WAY too long but basically five and diego are beating the shit out of each other and five literally outright says “i wanna fucking kill him” and lila tells him that it’s over between them and he goes and sulks because he was truly in love blah blah blah blah blah. anyways

it ends with five and diego hating each other. and it’s really fucking frustrating. and i really don’t mind what people ship for the most part, but this specific ship pissed me the fuck off because it should NOT have been canon. in my mind it still isn’t canon because this whole season sucked ass and i refuse to accept it as real.

you’re telling me five hargreeves, the man who survived for 45+ years with the single goal to save his family gave up on them after 7 years with the only other person around because he fell for her? why the hell was this necessary? why did the writers do this bro 😭 that is not the five i spent 3 seasons absolutely cherishing. i refuse to accept it

but also you’re telling me that the entire show ends with five hating diego and diego hating him?????? this entire season was SO out of character for the both of them but i STILL can’t get over (and will absolutely NEVER get over) that the writers really thought they could get away with the hargreeves despising each other like this. so pissed about this season omfg

so not only was the ship problematic for age differences on BOTH ends (fives body was 19 but lila’s was 36ish, probably older, while fives mind was 64 while she was AGAIN 36ish???? like how did they manage to make it pedophilic on both ends bro lmfao) (and do not even get me STARTED on the age differences of the actors and the fact that this has clearly been planned since aidan was a very young minor and the writers were waiting around for him to become 18 so it would be legal like fucking creeps) but it also involved cheating / homewrecking (with family no less) as well as multiple relationships ruined. i LOVED five and diego as a duo before. why the FUCK was this necessary *i scream from the rooftops*

anyways sorry for my chronic yapping, that is all.

i hate five x lila, have a good day.

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chokchokk · 2 years ago

Text

𝐧𝐨 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐞 [𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐬] | choi san x fem!reader

PART ONE of : have your way with words, be my people pleaser

“San, what else do I have to do? Draw it out? Do I have to beg?”

𝚜𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜 : You’ve always been able to read him like a book, but for some reason you still fold for San.

"You've never begged."

𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎 : fluff, smut

𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 : 6.9k

𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 : teasing, painful attempts at flirting and joking, vaginal fingering, no usage of y/n (forgive me), vaginal sex, pet-names

𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚜 : considered for revision

𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎 : this was like the first choi san smut i've ever written and i was trying to find my tone and omg i actually don't want to re-read it it's probably SO CRINGY omfg. i'm sorry for any icky moments i did not know any better 2 months ago LMAO this is also the only part that's pure "fluff" just fyi because i hadn’t planned this to be a series yet !!!!

He’s biting his lip, rolling his head to the back, trying his very best to stay focused on the paper he’s working on, all while you look at him in awe from the other side of the table. His glasses have slid dangerously close to his nose tip and the hair clip you’ve put into his hair to hold it together has lost all of its strength already — you really have to pull yourself together to not carefully slide one of the locks away from his eyes.

Yes, San is a complete mess, and undoubtedly failing at hiding it. He probably doesn’t want to ruin the late library ambience, being the thoughtful Sannie he is, or at least not destroy the study sessions by not focusing on work, but the infuriated tapping with his pen against the wooden table isn’t covering any of his angry grunts.

But even if you’ve noticed his desperation an eternity ago and have been deeply distracted by it ever since, you can’t bare to tell him that you’ve already given up. You guys have promised each other at least one is going to get this session done, so San be it, you tell yourself. If you have counted correctly, there are just ten minutes left on the clock, he should be able to do that, no matter how stressed he is.

And usually, you’re optimistic he’s able to do it, but you’ve never seen San’s eyes darken like this before. On normal days, he’s all smiley and giggly, squeaking words of helplessness at tasks that overwhelm him, covering up his frustration very well. Of course you can still look through his façade and say things like “San, let’s take a break” or similar things, but that’s only when he’s smiling still.

Maybe it’s because you’re both studying for finals that there’s a lot of competitiveness or ego involved. Anyhow, you don’t want to get yourself involved in that, no, don’t want to resolve it at all, actually.

Let’s say it like this; San is scaring you, yes, but he is also being incredibly hot and turning you on so much without knowing it. You can’t help but watch his dissatisfaction being gulped down his freckled, thick neck, and observe his Adam’s apple moving up and down. You draw a trail along his jawline and the loose black T-shirt he’s wearing with your eyes, following his neckline until the rhythm of his heavy breathing is revealed by his moving breast.

San knows a lot, yes, but what he doesn’t is that he’s a walking sex symbol with his broad shoulders, narrow waist and intimidatingly friendly face. He’s biting his lips with just no idea what his looks are doing to your privates this exact moment and his soft voice is not helping.

He’s at his last task now and you catch yourself be a bit disappointed, when he takes his hand to balance his head and covers his face with it. You could feel guilty now for not interrupting or lending him a helping hand, but being attracted to your designated study buddy for the longest time with a painful amount of allusions to it is way more straining you on an emotional level than the stalker-behaviour you’re showing. How San hasn’t caught up is baffling to you, and the amount of times you’ve tried to make a move only for him to be oblivious is painful. (Let it be known you were never forced to answer Seonghwa’s question of “would you fuck San?” with the honesty that you did, but his little sheepish smile after your nod is enough to confirm that he should know, but just doesn’t. Sure, it’s unclear until this day if he even understood the question or the answer correctly, but it just feels like you have done most of your part.)

“I’m almost done,” San murmurs— breaking the silence between you two in the library— his voice comparing to nothing more but a sigh. He’s tensed up, eyebrows furrowed, and he’s scrunching his nose a little bit to sniff his agitation away.

“Take your time,” you try to say as nicely as possible, attempting to calm him down. It does help, it seems, because San is straightening his back to take a deep breather, his eyes finally wavering away from the paper. You smile at him and get a head nod in return.

Sharing this short moment of just acknowledging each other’s presence, you confirm that San, regardless of how socially (sexually?) stupid he can be, is an intelligent guy after all, not to be shaken up by this little bit of studying. Straight A’s, perfect GPA, teacher’s favourite — you’re lucky professor Kang has put you in so many group assignments together, or else you would have never been able to meet with San like this on a Friday evening, studying for your finals.

“I feel like I ran run five miles or have to commit arson,” San jokes half-heartedly in a breath and you giggle, looking around to not disturb the other students with your laughter. “What’s stopping you?”, you ask playfully, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t know,” San answers and touches the backside of his head with both of his hands. “What’s stopping you, hm?”

You frown, the once raised eyebrow coming right back down, your amusement wearing down.

“What’s supposed to be stopping me?”

San pouts innocently and fetches the clip from his hair, black bangs falling to his face, but he doesn’t set his glasses, making him look at you with squinted eyes. They look even heavier now, eyelids covering most of his irises when he leans forwards to you: “You haven’t touched a single task since an hour now, why didn’t you tell me you were done?”

You don’t know why you pant in panic— it’s an understandable question, San probably noticed you stared at the man during the whole time he was the only one committed to the studying— and you’re afraid there’s this tension again, but not driven to the paper, but you.

“You, lemme think, looked too..”

You know your sentence can’t be finished in any way that would be positive. You would’ve liked to end it with “concentrated” or “in the zone” to give him credibility for his hard work, but San has been way too obvious struggling to hold on, and you’re not a good liar.

“… Handsome.”

It’s not a Freudian slip, if it’s on purpose, yes.

“You looked to good to be true, San. If you weren’t wearing the baggiest shirt from three days ago, you’d coin dark-academia realness.”

You always make jokes like these, it’s your expertise. They usually make San enormously embarrassed, which is the best part of it all: He, who was growling his frustration away, is now giggling, expression softening, as he scrunches his face together with a wide smile. The high-pitched noise awakens your motherly instincts— it’s these moments you could just melt away in adoration.

“You’re lucky you’re not a professor, because that look you gave that paper right there isn’t going to help anybody concentrate on their studies. People-pleaser? Teacher's pet? I wish."

“Ugh!”, San moans quietly, his dimples revealing that he’s deeply touched. He will never get used to your overly specific (and usually sexually connotated) compliments, but it’s better that way. San cracks his fingers to recover, but then covers his mouth to hide his blushing smile once more. Take that for two people-pleasing and validation-seeking students, one more focused on studies, one more trying to fuck than the other. He barely goes to parties, which robs you of the little chances of opportunities to make a move on him.

“Okay, I won’t lie to you, I was done long before you, but someone’s gotta be valedictorian this year.”

“Really nice of you”, San sighs— he’s gathered himself now and has put on his friendly smile again, “But I’m really done now as well.”

“How done?”

“To go home-done.”

“My home, I assume.”

“Of course.”

With his finishing sentence, you hold a staring-match again, which you lose, as San takes his pile of paper and stacks it vertically to organise his stuff.

From here, the procedure should be simple. He drives you to your place (safe), maybe he’ll eat a midnight-snack with you (very likely), and maybe watch a movie (unlikely today) to then leave, if he doesn’t fall asleep during that. You already have the night schedule written out in front of you, and all you’re left is whether you’ll convince San for another study session tomorrow.

But then, in the car, San grabs the steering wheel but doesn’t start to drive.

You think he must be too tired and decide not to ask him. Honestly, you feel quite dizzy as well, but mostly because San has opened his mouth half-way now, audibly breathing in and out — it sounds like he’s panting. His tongue has also runned along his upper lip, making it glisten reddish pink under the parking lot-lighting. It’s unbearably arousing you. “Give me just a second,” he murmurs.

“Does your head hurt? We can just walk, you know,” you suggest, but San shakes his head: “No, that’d be inefficient and really dumb.”

“You’re the one dozing off, San, not me!”, you scoff and turn yourself around to face him, elbow placed on the radio. San opens one eye — it looks like he’s winking, his tongue pressed against this upper teeth. “And you’re being quite sassy, aren’t you?”, he grins and you swear you’ve never wanted to not shut up more in your entire life.

“If being sassy is what keeps you awake, I don’t see anything wrong with it, San,” you fight back, even more playfully this time, lips pouted to emphasise your mocking tone. There is a clear, lustful intention you’re trying to project, and secretly, you hope San notices it, but there isn’t any indication he isn’t already, which you find strange.

“Oh, you think I must be real tired, huh?”

San begins to grin and all of the sudden, things are happening very fast: His hands aren’t placed on the steering wheel anymore, one of them has moved to your chin, holding (and keeping) it up, after you try to back away out of reflex, the other is placed dangerously near to your hip — he’s propping himself against the seat, you can feel him breathe against your nose tip. His whispers expand like flames on your face. What has ignited this man?

“San?”, you ask carefully, every bit of playful confidence inside you crumbling down to your guts. It’s not like you aren’t enjoying this still, in fact, you feel like you’re going to go savage and clash your face against his any second, but San’s finger is pressing so delicately, yet so firmly into your skin, it’s messing up your projected image of the cute little — unfortunately sexy — nerd in your head. You don’t want to admit you’re intimidated, but San has been extra scary since he said he wanted to light buildings on fire. At the same time, you’ve been waiting days, no, weeks for this and a tingle between your legs signals you that you’ve been prepared ever since.

“Can’t go home yet, can we?”

His eyes are still dark, when you look at them through his glasses and there’s a bit of shine left on his lips, when you glance at them longingly. San’s breath is shaky, and you’re not sure whether yours is as well. You’re too focused on imagining the next scene. San has finally reached his burning point, it appears, and you’re too stunned to react verbally to his question. Are you seriously going to do it in the car, in the library parking lot?

“Buckle up.”

It is only now that you notice you haven’t put your seat-belt on. The sound of the plug clocking in takes you out of your reverie.

“San, screw you. Oh my god, screw you so much.”

He laughs a dirty laugh, even more so devilishly, when he returns to his seat and immediately begins to drive out of the parking spot. Has he been acting? Fuck this. Hastily, you have to get into your original position and buckle yourself up as he has told you. This bitch, you think to yourself and stare holes into the car window, this motherfucking bitch.

“Just a little revenge for making me work alone because you wanted to make me valedictorian? Or what, because I’m— what was it? Too handsome?” His voice has turned softer immediately, teasing you with a sweet undertone.

“Okay, we’re even now!”, you laugh sarcastically, trying to not become sulky. You’ve subconsciously crossed your legs and arms already, and your whole body is turned away from the driver’s seat.

“Sure,” San answers and you can hear him press some buttons. “Music?”

You throw him a side-eye and take the AUX.

“I could violate your ears so good right now,” you snap and search for a fitting playlist for this frightening night.

“You could try.”

When has San become a bully? How has it come to this? San is playing with you, more obviously than ever before — toying with you in the game you started.

But let it be known you could never be offended by this man.

Because when you play the first song that came to your mind— it’s «Sexbomb» by none other than Tom Jones — it becomes clear that you are more than happy to be his gaming companion, levelling up the tension to the max, though it's not a sensual song per se.

It’s petty, but provocative at the same time. You’ve never gotten what you wanted, have never expected to get it, and the surreality of the scenery just a few seconds ago is enough to keep you stimulated for the whole drive, ignoring San’s big grin on his face, as he safely gets you home.

And of course San joins in for the midnight meal. Without having spoken a word for a quarter hour now, you open the fridge and cram out anything eatable. You should’ve went grocery shopping, there’s barely anything left.

“Not so prepared, I see?”

“San, if you say one more word, I will—“, you shut the door of the fridge, revealing a San who’s leaned against the wall, crossing his arms, head thrown to the back to squint at you.

“You’ll what?”

He’s the worst and heaven knows he should know that as well. Every attempt to overthrow him fails, because nothing seems to break this man — you can’t animate this man for you own good, even when he’s try-harding to look cool.

“You’re being a bitch today and I hate it.” Biting your lip, you rethink your sentence and shake your head, eyes not swaying away from the black-haired man. “Actually, scrap that, I hate that I like it way too much,” you hiss, ridiculing yourself and taking of your sweatshirt, leaving you in a sheer top. It’s warm, you’re hot, this situation be very easy to understand.

He doesn’t know what to do. Or maybe he does, and he’s just being a pain in the ass again: both could be absolutely true, when he moves his head and musters you from bottom to the top, a huff leaving his nose. It seems as if he’s mocking and checking you out at the same time, licking his lips and biting his tongue.

“San, what else do I have to do? Draw it out? Do I have to beg?”

You whine and you’re not one bit embarrassed about it, though San doesn’t even take it in the desperate way you clearly are.

“You’ve never begged.”

San is scratching his neck, acting like an innocent brat, much to your obvious disapproval.

“Come on, you can’t be that dumb, San, can you?”

“How would I be?”

“San, what the fuck does that mean?”

“It’s simple,” and San is pushing himself from the wall now, taking heavy steps towards you, “I can’t give you an answer to a question you’ve never asked.”

“I,” you begin to think of your next line argument, but noticing how he’s pulling his eyebrows together to throw you an almost belittling look through his lowered glasses, you give up, baffled about the reality. Replacing the next words, you pant.

“I’ll give you an answer, alright?”, San encourages you, taking one last big step. He’s standing in front of you now, in your little kitchen, next to the counter, looking down at you, free and available as he can be.

“Whatever it is; yes,” he whispers, accepting something you’ve never offered him directly.

Of course San isn’t dumb. How could he have been, when you’ve been so obvious? There’s a shameful heat driving up your stomach and you bite your lip.

“Baby, I’m all yours.”

You could have kept teasing him for the way he was obviously lowering his voice to sound more authoritative or sexy or something , but no, it’s just too much. Being cornered by San, hearing him surrender to you with his words, but still in a way that made him dominant over you — that is just way too much.

Seriously, all yours? Where did he get that one from? Wattpad?

“Fuck right off, San.”

It feels like your brain splits in half, your conscience leaving the second you throw yourself at San, hands grabbing every piece of hair you can get to pull him down to your face, whispering insults into his mouth, as your heads meet. He just grins and licks over your teeth, tongue slicking against yours.

“Happily,” he murmurs into the kiss, his hands grabbing you by your hip and waist, pulling you towards his muscular body. He must think he’s being so funny and yes you would have loved to argue with him, but you’re weak in his grip, ruffled by the pure tension that has been brewing all those days. There’s wet noises and sucking to be heard and it’s all sending urgent signals to your privates. You will, no must fuck him, and you're going to fuck him better than whatever he’s expecting from you, just to blow his mind.

You let his hair go and tug at the seam of his shirt, prompting him to raise his arms and have his clothing be slid off his body. Eagerly, you come back to his lips while throwing the shirt to the side and take steps forwards, leading San to your bedroom. Entrusting you with the guidance, he walks backwards and falls onto the bed, breaking the kiss. With a grunt, San props himself with his elbow, but before he can tower over you, you reach your arm over his shoulder, grabbing the bed frame, trying your best to keep his broad silhouette under your eyes.

Your lips already feel numb and you swear you can feel something pulsating inside your pants, when you slowly slide onto his lap and let the warm fabric touch. After a bit of movement, you and San are both shuddering and whimpering, lips meeting again in the snake-like maneuvering. He’s becoming harder with every little suck at his tongue, twitching even, and in addition, you’re becoming too impatient as well to edge yourself like this.

Your hands move to the zipper of his baggy jeans, and San is trying to take this as a sign he’s allowed to take off his pants, but you give his palm a little slap. He smirks and returns his hand to take a pillow, stuffing it behind his neck. You wanted to take control, but he’s way too comfortable with it, it’s annoying you, yet at the same time, you wouldn’t even know what to tell him at this point.

Opening the zipper and sliding a hand in, you trail the outer side of San’s shaft through his boxer-shorts with your finger to identify with what kind of girth and length you’re working with and comment “bigger than I expected”, as if you have imagined it before, which would be the truth, yes, but not smaller than the absolute unit he is possessing.

“Ah, really?”, San gutters, voice shaking with each little touch of yours, but never letting his guard down completely. You anchor his boxer-shorts and tug it down just until the point when his shaft jumps out. He gulps and opens his mouth to pant again, when you spit into your hand and palm his shaft to give it a nice stroke from the very bottom to the top, admiring the shine of it. You pump his penis, feeling the skin inside your hand slide with every movement, and make it grow to its final length that way. It’s fascinating, really, but you’re too busy to contemplate about reality. You take the initiative and get a taste of the wet mixture that is your own saliva and his pre-cum. You pump the part you can’t reach with your throat and in no time, San’s eyes are rolling to the back.

“That’s good,” he comments, going through your hair, which motivates you to go even deeper. Hitting the back of your throat, his girth makes you tear up, but you sit through it, since San is tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, caressing your head softly. You try your best to suck and slide your tongue over his tip, to which he immediately reacts. “Hmnh~”, he hums and you bathe in his pleasure-lorn breaths, until you kind of get a hunch of what he likes the best and continue to drive him this way. “That’s good… Hnnh- heek!”

Was that a weep? You thought the whines were high enough, but San is definitely hiding his high moans, trying to cough them out. You continue to bop your head and watch his aroused expressions with amusement; his eyebrows are pushed together to form a needy frown, teeth biting down on his lower lip, inflicting pain on himself. From what it looks like, he’s pretty close, his hand weakly lying on top of your head, hesitating to push you back, once you remove it.

“Don’t cum yet!”, you demand, and San sighs helplessly.

“You’re edging me?”, he manages to choke out with a smirk, and San wipes away your tears from your cheeks. “As if I couldn’t get hard immediately after from just looking at you!”

You scoff, his directness has caught you a little bit of guard. You’re still trying to return to normal breathing after quite literally having been choked by his dick, not be attacked by his sudden strike of confidence.

“Can I undress you?”, he asks and you nod, all the hair he’s put away falling back in front of your face.

Once your shirt and bra is off with quick seconds of his hands at your back, San is taking his view all in, his plump lips parted and never to be closed again. Before you can wipe the grin from his face, he storms at your dekolleté, swinging his arms around you. His sucks are tugging at your nipples, after he pushes himself forward, one arm fully around your back, the other finding his way to your other breast to massage it. Moan after moan leaves your mouth and your head becomes heavy, falling to the back: his hand effortlessly catches it, finding safety in your hair. As you scratch his neck, grabbing it to pull him closer to your upper body, you repeatedly pant his name.

“Hm? What?”, he reacts, circling your skin with his tongue.

It’s so erotic, you think you’re going to cum untouched, pants on and all. San is leaving kisses everywhere on your torso, some wetter than the others. He is leaving a trace of saliva on your neck with his tongue, gliding against your chin with it, ultimately meeting your lips once again. It’s filthy, but just so, so erotic.

He’s still holding your breast in his hand, stimulating your nipples while filling your mouth with a mixture of spit and rhetoric (and very provocative) questions.

“Feels good?”, San asks with a raspy voice, his nose scrunched amusedly, when he sees how messed up you are. Strands of hair are sticking on the wet spots of your skin, drops of sweat are dripping down to your collarbones. You’re already so disheveled. “Want me to continue?”

“Yes, pl—,” You can’t find the words, as they get lost somewhere in San’s mouth, once you give him confirmation. His tongue is exploring the inner space of your mouth, and his hand has become busy with taking off your pants. You kneel, making space to let your jeans slide off your thighs and you have to raise your legs to finally get rid of it. Your panties are still on, when he lets his hand slide between your legs. His hand feels warmer than the heat that you have become, and when San finds your clitoris through the fine fabric, you spasm to the front. You bury your face into his shoulder and bite a small inch of his skin, when he begins to stroke that spot with two of his fingers and nibbles at your ear and whispers sweet nothings into it.

“So wet.”

Sharp breaths escape your breast, as he begins to play for your swollen clitoris.

“Come on, tell me what to do. There must be some things on your mind, right?”

San is luring you into a false sense of control and you’re stupid enough to obey his command. It’s just like he said; you need him, you need San, and if he doesn’t stop acting like he doesn’t know, you’re going to combust.

“Fuck, San, just make me feel—“, and though you can’t exactly hear yourself whine out from all the licking happening at your ear and his callous finger caressing your most sensitive area through the fabric, you still know you’re sighing, “so good.”

Your eyes lose focus, when you feel your panties disappear from your pussy, the cold air surprising your sensitive spot.

San sneers and finger-guns you, but before you can sneer, he sticks it into your mouth, lubing his digit up with your spit to carefully ease it to your pussy.

He groans and moves around the moisture for a short moment. San has always had quite thick fingers, but it feels even more robust now, when it slides into you. You clench around him and move your hips to the painfully slow pace of his pumps.

“Be patient. We don’t want you to hurt, do we?”

That he’s staying the nice little Sannie even in this situation makes you want to go insane, but not more than the slight scissoring to confirm your stretched innards.

“Patient enough?”, you hiss and grind against his hand again, to which San only coos, “Patient like the good girl you are.”

By then, his words and movements are almost like magic, when he angles his finger a little bit and finds your g-spot, which sends you into a short moment full of sparks and bliss, but a long, aching eternity, when it’s only repeated in the unbearably long intervals after a little bit of pulsating. You’re feeling every movement in such a detail, as if his one singular finger is becoming one with your body, one with your senses.

“Is this enough for you?”

You’re whirring and your mind is babbling nonsense from all the possibilities San is presenting you. Mushy and messed up, you move against his finger, which slips with ease through your wetness, while you try to figure out what you want more: San’s dick or San’s face.

“I’m waiting for an answer, you know,” San whispers, softly kissing your forehead, as he continues to finger you.

“Th- then eat me out,” you whine under your breath and something inside you churns, when he giggles and removes his finger. He raises you by your legs, pushing you by the hip at the same time. You’re on your back now, breathing heavily as San is aligning his face in front of your entrance.

“With pleasure,” he hums and spreads your legs with his elbows, putting you on full display. It’s much too late to feel embarrassed now. You’re not shaved, you basically haven’t done anything, but maybe the rawness of it all is what intrigues you as well.

He stretches the skin a bit with both of his hands, making it get used to the position, while he peppers soft kisses on each of your thighs, that tickle each spot of your skin. You relax into his hands and naturally, you exhale the tension out of you.

His tongue feels soft and hot compared to his finger, when he slides it from the very bottom to the top, sending a shiver to your spine. It’s sensual and slow, and it does appear to you that San is savouring the taste, pushing his whole tongue against your labia to get the full picture of it. You shudder, a mixture of your own pulsating muscle and his humming vibrating between your legs.

He sucks on your clit and you notice immediately how pleasured are, already grabbing your sheets and curling your toes, pushing your legs against his hands he’s using to keep you opened. “Fuck,” you whine and move your head to the back, yearning for more stimulation. A slight chuckle leaves San’s mouth, until he plunges his tongue into you whilst continuing to suck all the sex juice that leaks out of you. The breath leaving his nose warms your privates and you quite figuratively melt into his mouth.

This time, he doesn’t need a lot of searching for your g-spot with his fingers and you weren’t prepared to immediately be sent back to pleasure-haven. He slides through the rough walls from the inside of you and doesn’t leave any spot go untouched, while he catches anything leaving out of your pussy with his mouth, creating squelching sounds all around.

The pleasure at your clitoris and the pitter-pattering inside you is slowly tying the knot, and you shut your eyes with unavoidable whines leaving your lips. It’s all happening way too fast for you to react to each and every motion.

“Fuck, San, don’t stop, I’m— Oh, fuck—!”

The wet sounds of San’s saliva being mixed with your sex fluids, and his fingers moving in- and out of you again, they’re all adding onto the roller-coaster drop of your orgasm, but San thirstily panting “cum, cum for me!” against your vulva —while his tongue is busy pleasuring you—, his hot breath condensing against your own heat, that’s got to be one of the many significant factors that finally sends you over the top.

You moan and drive your lower body against his face, thighs closing down on him to squeeze his head.

San doesn’t even think about stopping there though and keeps you up there: He thunders his finger to push your button continuously and get every remaining squirt into his mouth, his tongue shovelling it all in.

“San, I— fuck! Please, San,” you beg, though it’s not a plead for him to stop, but rather make this moment last forever. You’re shaking, your pelvis is trembling towards his sharp nose that’s dug into your private hair, before you collapse onto your mattress and San eventually stops, grinning pridefully.

His lips are swollen pink, eyes covered with a desirous veil and San has to swipe his bangs away from his face to look at your exhausted expression that’s still recovering from that hell of a heavenly orgasm. He swallows whatever’s left inside his mouth and leans over to you in order to bathe in your bliss. Out of pure gratitude, you cup his face and kiss him.

“You look all messed up already,” he admits, and enjoyment can be heard in his voice. Returning the kiss, San prompts: “Can you handle a second round? Or want to handle a second round, that is.”

Still panting, you nod eagerly, your lips grazing against his repeatedly.

“With words, lovely.”

You whine at his mendacious, know-it-all smile and give him a slap. "Quit it with the fucking-, ugh!" With an airy voice, you groan: “Yes, San. Please. I can handle, want to handle— want you to handle me, right fucking now."

San pats your head, pressing another kiss on your forehead and crams through the night stand cabinet next to the bed, probably searching for a condom and finding an untouched package full of it.

“Freshly-bought or just unused?”, he asks jokingly, putting the hand on your cheek as if he was pitying you for your minimalistic sex life that he’s assuming. The other hand is occupied opening up the box. “When did you buy these?”, he lisps, holding the condom in his mouth to rip it open, “I hope these aren’t expired.”

“Expire my ass!”

Oh, he better know you were keeping those for a good reason every time he came over. (Though you’ll keep it a secret it took half a year to get them to use.)

“You should say how fortunate that there’s so many, San.” You sniff. “’Cause hell knows this isn’t going to be—“

San slips into the latex layer with ease and doesn’t hesitate to enter your hole with one big, smooth slide. His finger is nothing compared to the thickness you’re experiencing; you just feel full, the stretch inside you making you feel like your body is being turned inside out. Before you can finish your clap-back, a wrecked and whole-hearted moan leaves your mouth.

“Isn’t going to be what?”, San asks, lowering his upper body and ultimately pulling out a little bit, sticking a thumb into your open mouth, “The last time? Is that what it is? You know you’ll want this again? Really, sweetheart?”

You don’t even want to form words anymore and just nod eagerly, sucking at his finger that tastes slightly acidic.

“It’s so dangerous to say that, you know that?”, and he’s pressing his forehead against yours, his dark, deep eyes staring into you with suffocating concentration. His hand is buried deep in your scalp. “Because you don’t know how happy that would make me”, San purrs with a raspy voice, and an airy moan leaves his mouth the second he thrusts right back into you. “So, so, unfathomably happy.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm. I’m going to make you my little happy whore.”

It has already occurred to you that San had taken it as a challenge to call you every pet name that exists, but for him to degrade you like that, after every single word of of his sweet-talk has entranced you into numbing euphoria, has now just taken you to another state of pure bliss. With every creak of your bed and tug at your hair, your vision gets more blurry. You can see San and only San, piercing through you with his genitalia and eyes.

“Did you get that?”

“Y- yes!”

"I don't think so."

Your forehead cools down, when San gets his body back up again and installs his hands at your hips to get a good grab and also drive himself even deeper into you.

This has been your wet daydream for the longest of time— and even if you apparently could have been fucking him already during all those hours, which is frustrating, yes, but so, so fucking hot— listening to San’s sounds of pleasure, seeing his vision get all hazed from it and watching his eyes moving to the back of his, makes it all worth it.

He pulls in and out again, finding a steady pace to really feel your inner space expand and close down on him again.

“Are you going to fuck me stupid?”, you lisp into his finger, your saliva sliding down your lip, cooling your fever down.

You can feel he’s sweating as well, as your fingers search through the cold wetness of his hair. "Do you want me to fuck you stupid?”

“Yes! Yes, please. Fuck me stupid, San!”

And with that appellation, San removes the thumb from your mouth and collars your throat with an almost animalistic growl and thrusts with ridiculous precision and force at the same time, a loud clap echoing through your bedroom. You’re not sure whether you’ve made a mistake, but San is absolutely blinded by pure desire now. With a slight choke, you try to moan, his shaft moving in and out of you mindlessly.

As he pounds into you, you notice once more that San’s breaths are being cut short because he’s still trying to stay as quiet as possible and you stare him down, his fingers collaring your neck.

“I, I want you to—“, you stutter, gasping for air and trying to catch up with your shaken body, “‘want to hear you moan. Moan for me, San, please!”

He laughs a little bit, panting along your plead and places his lips against your earlobe, letting you breathe freely for the short moment he's roaring things into it, his hand tangled in your hair.

“You, hah, feel just as delicious as you taste. You feel so good around my big cock. I bet you’ve never, unnh, had a big cock like mine, haven’t you? Never had someone like me, shit, fuck you out like this. How, ah, fuck, long have you been fantasizing this, huh? Days? Weeks? Months? Stupid little girl, thinks I didn't know, haha."

His breathy moans are absolute angelic, and that’s all you can comprehend, when you slowly feel your mind drift away. He’s hitting the spots just right, pressing your buttons with aligned movements. His thrusts are becoming sloppy, your moaning more strained. You don't even care that San is showing you that everything you knew was a lie, or at least an act he's kept up to mock you, because if your obliviousness has led to this moment— his cock crashing through you with a pace that makes you fear the next morning— then yes, again, it was all really worth it.

"I'm gonna—", you whine, and you're cut off by his hand again. Your eyes can barely perceive his sex-drunk expression, when you feel the knot inside you preparing itself for explosion.

"You're gonna cum?", San asks, his heavy breathing making it sound like he's gasping, "Are you going to cum for me?"

"Yes, I am!", you grunt and the male licks his whole palm to lube it up in order to rub it around your clitoris for maximum pleasure. You shiver, your legs trying to free themselves from the heavy weight that is Choi San, and screams for mercy leave your mouth, your second orgasm sending you to heaven, hell and back to earth, when he pulls out and continues to slide his hand over your clitoris until you spasm away from his touch. In the meanwhile, San has taken the collar off your neck and resumed jacking himself off, moaning your name and other pretty words to himself.

"You're so pretty like this, fuck," he cusses, the squelching sounds in his hands becoming more inaudible. "So fucked-out, because of me— shit .. I'll—"

He grabs you by your head, pulling his own face closer to yours to meet your lips for the last time, quickly removing the condom. Sharing a deep kiss, he ejaculates onto your abdomen, moaning from his own release into your opened lips. You lay there, wordlessly, your brain both foggy and clear as it has never been. You feel your warm sweat dry refreshingly on your skin and San shuffles away from the bed, walking to the bathroom with practiced steps to discard the empty condom and return with a towel to get you clean.

"And?", he asks, as you search for your pillow to clench onto it, feeling the stretched skin inside you. Sure, San has somewhat prepared you for the fucking, but no metronome could replicate the cruel rhythm he made you cum with.

"What, and?", you ask him back, your voice a bit raspy from the loud moaning.

"How was it?"

San looks completely innocent again and it baffles you that you're falling for it again, even when his hair is forming unholy strands, immoral sweat dropping from his chin as he speaks. It's a cringe-worthy question and you would have dismissed it, if it wasn't for the cuddle you got from him.

"Come on, was it up to your imagination?", San begs you to answer, burying your body between his heated-up arms.

"Yes," you answer weakly. "Sannie, you’ve.. You've done your job. That was S-Level people pleasing, really."

San grins, placing multiple kisses over your temple and forehead. "You have such a way with words," he comments, "good thing that it really brings you far in life, hm?"

Was this the right time to make dad-jokes?

No, but nobody has fucked you out like San, so you'll let it slide. Even the corny "eating you out for breakfast" quip he makes in the morning, when you both notice that the fridge is still very much empty, or the "from study- to fuck-buddies" monologue he holds on your drive back to campus, you'll all let it slide.

(And maybe you're stating the obvious here, but poor Seonghwa is never going to forgive you for San's laugh after you say something sensational with "letting it slide" used in another context, this time in the narrow space of his residency-bedroom, his roomie having listened to all the sounds coming out of your mouth behind the thin walls.)

part two: “into it, too deep”

#ateez x reader #ateez smut #choi san x reader #choi san smut #choi san scenarios #choi san x you #choi san x y/n #haveyourwaywithwordsbemypeoplepleaser #chokkiwa

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