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kuni-is-daddy · 2 years ago

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Thinking about Scara making us rub his cock with our pussy until we both cum

DOM! BOSS SCARAMOUCHE X FEMALE BODYGUARD READER.

100 followers special AHH OMFG TY.

PURE FILTH.

Juicy stuff: Grinding,Recording, at a desk :<, Yandere themes

Featuring: CHILDE, he's your bestie in the start :) had so much fun writing Childe in this KKLMK I LOVE HIM❤️❤️😩

1.2K WORDS.

amazing art credits! Scara masterlist Part 1 of Boss scara.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

Stillness, Silence. The complete opposite of thunder. And that was his mother, The raiden shogun. God of thunder. Rumors spread around the elaborate 'Gakaden' company that once again her excellency has cancelled another meeting with her son. Its been 200 years since he's last seen her, heard her voice. Scaramouche was only able to rejoice in the sweet sent she left from each letter that was sent in her fluid handwriting.

"Y/n Y/n!" Childe said while tapping your shoulder. "Ah! Childe!! you scared me. Dont sneak up on me like that!" you nudged his shoulder in return. "Hah hah. sorry comrade~ anyway. Did you hear about scara?" you closed the book, bookmarking where you left off. "Yeah our Excellency is quite the busy woman. At least now i can catch up on my book" you smiled. "Why'd you ask? Is everything okay?" You gave a concerned look and the ginger then laughed at you. "Well the thing is.....IM GOING BACK HOME!!!" he took out a picture of teucer and the rest of his siblings. They we're wearing christmas sweaters while holding a 'welcome home' sign. "oh shit really!? your going back to snezhnaya? Thats great childe! how long are you going to be gone?" "hmm probably a month or two. Scara said we needed a break." Childe said "We? what do you mean by we?" You looked at him suprised. "Soo...You dont know gurly?" You gave a straight face. "No- I dont know GUrLy" "Scara is giving us a month off from work. He said something about wanting time to himself and-- I dont know the rest. To be honest, all i know is that we come back next month on the 30th." You scanned the room to see your fellow co-workers organizing their desks and holding boxes in their hands. "Seriously!? Thats great! That means i can go back home and-" Suddenly. The intercom rang with a short beep.

"If Y/N L/N Is still present in the building, Please report to Lord Scaramouche's Office Immediately!"

You tilted your head at the request. "Oooo did you get in trouble y/n??" "No? Or at least.. I hope not." You got up and placed your book back on your desk. Sighing at the sudden realization you we're gonna be by yourself without your 'best friend' for another month. "hey hey.. Cheer up okay? Its only a month and besides. WE CAN ALWAYS TEXT!!" childe waved his phone in your face, your sad expression then turning into a happy one. "HEY THERE GURLY-" "YOU LOOK WELL" "CARE TO EXCHANGE.." "NOTES?" The both of you giggled and then hugged eachother one final time. "Im gonna miss you so much ajax~" "of course, The one time you say my name its when im leaving-."

The intercom rang again. "Y/N... L/N.... REPORT TO LORD SCARAMOUCHE'S OFFICE IMMEDIATELY." now with a more nervous tone then ever. "God. Wonder whats going on over there they need me so bad." "Well..Ill be seeing you Comrade. Take care for me okay?" He gave you a kiss on the forehead, ending it off with you two doing your signature handshake as he walked out of the company.

While climbing the many floors you eventually made it to the 13th floor. Your master's office. You slowed down your stroll in the long cold dark hallway at the sound of pleads and yells. "P-PLEASE LORD SCARAMOUCHE.. I DONT KNOW WHERE SHE IS. I ASKED THROUGH THE WHOLE BUILDING TWICE, HAVE MERCY-" It sounded like the woman on the intercom. "Twice? I said bring her to my fucking office. Not call her, Not ASK around for her. Bring her. But you cant even do your goddam job." you put your hand against the doorknob, conflicting weather you should intervene or not. "Your nothing. Do you know that? Nobody special. I dont care about your family, Your kids, Or your life. Under me, Your just someone i hired for my mothers sake. Just a worker. Replaceable like the rest of the humans in here." You turned the doorknob, hoping to intervene in what sounded like the potential murder of your co-worker. She was being held by her throat, hovering over the balcony while scara held his signature katana in his other hand. "KUNI- STOP!" he turned his head immediately at the use of that name. The woman fell, gasping for air while recklessly running for her life out of the building.

"Hm. So you are here, Close the door." he dropped his blade in its stand and walked towards you. You closed the door, making sure it was locked and immediately turned your head. "Kuni? What the hell was that? Why did you try to KILL that woman??" He rubbed his hand along your shoulder. "Does it realllyyy matter baby? I can just hire a new one you know." he scoffed. "Kuni. Humans arent replaceable. You cant just KILL someone like that." "Mhm..Your right. Cant replace you and that sexy body of yours~" He grew closer to you, Placing your hand against his tie. "W-well..You wont have to worry about me. Or Ajax leaving..Anyway..Why did you call me in here- Master." He pulled away at your change in tone. If theirs one thing that drove kuni crazy about you, is how persistent you we're with work. Still managing to stay perfessional. He sat back behind his desk, Clicking his pen with a laid back expression. "Not in a good mood today pet, Was hoping you could change that f' me~" The balcony door was still open a bit behind him, the warm summer air breezed through the room. Making you tug at your own suit with how hot it started to feel, How intimidating he looked from across the room as you stood at the door. "O-okay..Where do you want me to go master? Do you want to go out to eat? I just have to get my case and-" he sighed and began unzipping his pants.

"Come here and ill show you~" You we're nervous at how intimate he sounded but reluctantly walked towards him. He looked you up and down, noticing how similar your outfit was to his. How your hips curved around the belt. "Want you to sit..Right here..." He rubbed his hands against his thighs, Motioning for you to sit. "B-but we shouldnt do it here- theirs people still working kuni-" He sucked his teeth at your remark. "You think i fucking care Pet? dont want to make master more mad do you?" "N..no..I dont." You closed the blinds to the balcony, remembering how you almost witnessed another womans murder infront of your eyes.. over you. You faced scara and blushed. Turning your head away while stripping each piece of clothing off of you until you wore nothing but lacey black lingerie. "God..You look so hot in those.." he groaned as you hovered over his cock. positioning your pussy right against it, "Grind on daddys cock. Fuck yes~" He threw his head back as your hands held onto the chair for stability.

"A-am i doing good for you master...?" he pressed his hands against your ass, slapping them as they made contact "AH~" "Hell yeah.. Your doing so good' want you wet for me." He shifted his hands towards your underwear, slowly making them shift down so he could see your clit. "K-kuni! what are you doing.." "Ugh~ turn your head back up- Wanna feel your clit rubbing against me" He pulled your underwear down, Repositioning you so your clit rubbed against his big length, Teasing you as your hole ached for him to be inside of you. "Master~ Your so big..hah..." "Yeah you like that pet? Like how good it feels against you?" Wet stains started to emerge on his pants as you grinded faster against him, Chasing the burning feeling he gave you. "K-kuni~ Feels so' good~ Please..fuck me.." you shifted your grip away from the chair, now tightly holding onto him instead. "Mmm dont think thats good enough love, Beg for it." Begging. Kuni always made you beg and scream for him, He loved hearing how desperate you we're for him to fill you up. To claim you as his. Watching as you cried in frustration when he'd pull out just when your about to cum. "K-KUNI~ PLEASE M' SO CLOSE" "Shit~ keep moaning like that, cum for daddy, cum for me. and ill fuck you. Fuck~ hah...bounce those tits for me. You look so fucking good~" he slowly pulled his phone out, Recording how your tongue stuck out for him and your tits bounced. How you looked like a dog in heat. "Fuck..Thats it y/n Dont stop, dont fucking stop." "AH~ K-KUNI M' GONNA CUM~ KUNI!!!!!!!!"

Your juices squirted all over kuni's pants as he came at the same time as you. You looked up to notice him recording you and covered your face in embarassment. "Mmm... is my little slut embarassed? god look at the fucking mess you made." He let his phone fall down on the floor. Roughly grabbing you and placing you against the desk. "K-Kuni! Dont be so- MMM~" he tied his tie around your mouth. Throwing his clothes onto the floor and picking up his phone once again. "Shit...Cant get enough of you y/n~ love how this pussy is all mine~ are you mine pet?" you nodded your head with no hesitation.

"Fuck yes. Im gonna break you."

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tankgotstuckinthecircusgate · 2 months ago

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^ this one is actually for a completely different plot moment (takes place in 1932) but.............................🤨🤨🤨

i swear im workin but quick note before i forget it: thought this morning that carlo could consider killing himself after killing xaviero and no not bc he felt himself guilty not at all, he was just afraid that moretti would get rid of him as well literally inspired by: ""the brother of one of the coachmen killed for robbing Florio's villa was forced to commit suicide because he was suspected of collaborating with the authorities. One of Sangiorgi's informants <…> who was the main informant <…> about the corpses at the well had to leave the country." <- he was given safe passage, provided with a passport, but a hired assassin caught up with him in New Orleans and poisoned him" but it's not bout authorities, after finding out bout xaviero moretti thought that carlo simply broke omerta and carlo had all the reasons to think that moretti could kill him as well even though he obeyed to kill his brother

and then moretti makes carlo his capo and carlo is 1) relieved 2) thinks god fucking loves him & goes to church to say mega epic pray (he's a hypocrite & turns to god only in some exact moments)

#maybe i should change it & take it for that moment instead...........#carlo gives up and shoots in the photo of xaviero instead bc he fucking hates the guy at least in this moment #sorry ❤️ brainrot❤️#it was actually bout carlo slowly goin insane bc he wants take moretti's place so bad but he needs to wait and wait and wait #& moretti stopped trusting him again bc its basically a war time & he doesnt fkin know how to gain moretti's trust again #<- he finds a way later & rocco is a big part of this now ❤️#like both vinci n moretti r afraid of their ppl turning their backs on them & working for the other side (which is completely fair)#omfg i rumble so much today. i think work just stimulates my brain more than usual and my work is mostly boring af atm #upd. i think maybe eddie & his uncle (2nd mostly) vouched for carlo bc moretti could actually kill him #if u died nothing in my life would change🥰 the fact that hes presented as “led in old traditional ways built on loyalty trust etc”#doesnt make him a kind & forgiving person. family's safety stands above everything else its simply logical. so its quite the opposite #eddies uncle (or ok if i change my opinion then just his underboss) assured moretti that guy prove his loyalty already by killing his only #relative living in usa (and well. not just relative but a brother). maybe also vouched for him becoming a capo + but theres def was some #some kind of discussion between all high ranks of the family bc its important stuff to them. im so smart

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ilikekidsshows · 1 month ago

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With Adrien now having lost both his parents (and couldn't even bury them), lost his uncle (yes, that counts), and having gone through Emilie's, Gabriel's, and Nathalie's health going south in front of his eyes, I just... I lost a couple of family members in the last 2 years (two very recently) and our home situation was always very... complicated to say the least on top of our family having quite alot of health issues.

I don't know how sympathetic I can stay with Miraculous and Marinette when they will now clearly make light of being an abused and guilt ridden orphan because Marinette is gonna continue crying whenever she feels the slightest discomfort about everything that isn't about her.

If the show has Marinette now complain about her parents bc of some set up drama to Adrien and he'll be given shit for being "unsupportive" because he tells her that her parents aren't the worst and instead she should talk to them (which was her (awful) advice to him in Risk but it's correct here). I just don't know how I can watch that without going off. No way is Marinette gonna be respectful about Adrien being an orphan the second her parents aren't perfect. She probably won't even remember or simply be dismissive the way she always is when something opposes her opinion.

Marinette is never written to be truly respectful to any kind abuse in the show besides her own and bully victims. She's even written to be a solid bit ableist because once it's not Marinette's problem it ain't real and people "need to be put in place". Marinette not being a raging dick doesn't mean she's respectful. I noticed that her dialogue very rarely actually empathizes with the victims. She just tells them they can try again and change their feelings and situations to what she decided is the correct way to be and think. Marinette doesn't truly help people, she tells them how to best suit herself so they can then help her after they corrected their existence to her liking. That's literally all Marinette did to Shadybug omfg. I hate it here.

If Lila causes trouble in Marinette's family, no way will Marinette be tolerant of Adrien's situation. And I don't know if I can watch that.

And I don't think this is me being too sensitive at all. Just like there are abused children who are constantly getting shit on by Marinette's story, orphans very obviously exist. But Marinette isn't an orphan so now there is a new group of children who need to "learn their lesson" that their problems aren't real because Marinette is upsette.

Sorry for being pessimistic, but it makes me so unbelievably angry that Miraculous has turned into nothing but a kids show that's just for the pretty and privilege Girls who were bullied (or maybe not even that) and now want a power fantasy that validates all their worst emotional cravings of revenge on literally everyone else's expense because SOMETHING didn't went their way and now that's the worst thing ever.

I hate that Miraculous became a show that I don't want children to watch because of how awful the Marinette centric morality is. Every bad message possible is send to children as long as it validates Marinette and her kinnies and it's a prime example of the type of privileged western feminism that gives feminism such a bad name. So forgive me for not believing that Marinette will suddenly be written differently the moment Lila has her parents disagree with her about something (like wanting her to take over the bakery) and Marinette will inevitably be written to stomp her foot, scream, cry, and throw up about how abused, oppressed, and unprivileged she is until she entirely gets her way.

No I don't think Marinette will be understanding of Adrien in that case. She will start crying and pouting about not being validated and Adrien taking her parents side, and say that Adrien's experiences don't count and he just "doesn't get it" until he agrees that his way worse experience isn't worth anything (the way she always makes him as Cat Noir believe taht his feelings, perspective and experiences aren't real. He just "doesn't get" how correct and benevolent she is, until he gives in and accepts that he's irrelevant and worthy of abuse the way she likes it apparently. Or the class not being allowed to have their own opinions on Chloe because Marinette thinks their experiences of being bullied by Chloe aren't "valid" enough to make a judgement call whenever it doesn't validate her, only SHE can have the right opinion)

When has Marinette ever been written to actually respect other victims? The most she does is stop being a dick about it and instead "kindly" wait for the victims to understand taht they are wrong and she's right. They don't have real problems, only HER, so its HER who needs all the effort and support. The others just need to stop and get over it.

I've yet to see anything in Miraculous that gives me a real reason to believe Marinette is not gonna be a shit girlfriend now the moment she isn't getting whatever she wants and Adrien isn't 24/7 validating her. Marinette has become such a privileged character who walks over all kinds of victims but would never take accountability for it because "it's not her fault" and "her feelings are valid, everyone is just so awful and mean to her!"

I pitty every child growing up with Miraculous who doesn't have the privilege of being a Marinette. And now they are gonna drag orphans into that too...

---

They don’t even need to give Marinette family problems to make her be insensitive to Adrien, in my opinion. Her most minor grievances are the most important problem for her, no matter what anyone else has going on. Adrien could be going to his father's funeral and Marinette would stalk him there unless he invites her along like it’s a date and she would treat the situation like she was the one facing the hardship of Adrien not inviting her everywhere he goes.

Marinette has been treating Adrien’s worries as unimportant since day one. Adrien being locked up was only bad because he couldn’t come to the trick dates Marinette tried to set up. Adrien has a “perfect life” because he’s rich and famous, because nothing else about his life has worked out for him in any way. But Marinette will only acknowledge something is wrong when he’s being forced to hang out with girls who aren’t Marinette herself, meaning it’s once again about her and how her dream boy/boyfriend is being pushed off on other girls when he should be with her.

So, yeah, I totally don't see the writers allowing Adrien to grieve his parents for more than a second. I can just see it, Adrien with a photo of the family he no longer has, and we instantly cut to Marinette whining about how Adrien has been so distant with her and the fandom instantly cries: "How dare Adrien grieve his supervillain dad (that he doesn't know was a supervillain)! He should be with Marinette because she's upsette!"

#ml salt #ml fandom salt #dats chats

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astropookie · 2 years ago

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Astro observations bc it turned into one ⭕️

I’m fucking trying to do a short post again but my overthinking powers are gaining me. I fucking hate myself, this post was supposed to be a family astro observation post and then I turned it into a moon sign post and then into an astro observation post, and you know what?! IT’S MARVELOUS OKAY

Disclaimer: we have to imagine everyone has a functional family 🤩

Taurus moon child tends to be the mommas kid. They just love the comfort in those hugs, it gives them peace or certainly a mom-son moment. They could (would) appreciate it daily. (sorry for those motherless taurus moons)

The Gemini moon kid ALWAYS have a mom that is not certain a mom, they don’t fit in the prototype of a traditional mom. The mom of these children are working, or hate doing stuff like buying school material for their children, they could not even listen to their kids when they’re talking…I don’t fucking know too specific I know I feel like the kid could have felt that the mom was in her own world, thinking and thinking, spacing out, that they couldn’t relay on them, sometimes.

Aquarius mercury 12H kid please just shut the fuck up. Well I mean, don’t but yes. First, yes because you have so many reasons to speak out. About the things that you perceive (too much bb, you’re like a sponge😭), the injustice, etc., also about the introspection you have done and the very strong emotional depth you have to deal with but you don’t want to and let almost nobody know about it blablabla … Everything is peaceful and harmonious until you decide that the best way to approach is to be taken by your impulses and the strong emotions you feel, to finally speak out. Aquarius mercuries always think they’re right, so stubborn, will think that their idea is better. It could be so hurtful to others, the words you say without thinking how it would affect them. Winning an argument is not always satisfactory. You have to know, I’m just saying 😟🤭 Please, take a deep breath and repeat with me: “I have the ability to control myself, open my mind and see that even if I’m suffering and feel TOO MUCH it hurts, it doesn’t mean I have the right to hurt others with my actions and CERTAINLY words. It’s important to prepare or think what I’m about to call out, because nobody it’s going to take me serious if I yell uncontrollably”. Poor parents (not true fuck them no lie no fuck them like yes but no), everything is injustice, the way they treat you, blablabla etc. (I’m not a fan of supporting parents) I was going to turn this into a child observation and I deviate from the topic. Kill me please. omfg I’m so dramatic.

People with Gemini rising are SO OVERTHINKERS, THEY THINK TOO MUCH. I know it’s too obvious okay? They’re so logical, they think twice, not twice, 462946 times before doing something “risky” (that’s not even risky, for me at least). If I said “Do it for the experience”, they’re not going to deny the idea at first, but they’re going to stay forever in their minds and think if it’s a good idea, the pros the cons, the people, environment, etc. everything you could imagine. They’re gonna be like “I don’t knooow”, and start making questions about the plan. They take their time. And the more they think the more pessimist they turn and finally they’re gonna decline. They are going to ghost you or take a pause or not going to confirm. But these implies only and most if you ask them out or on an event situation, something that has to do with changing environment or simply take them out of their house.

Not in the way Libras sun do, they meditate the idea to make the best decision -I’m not saying Gemini risings don’t do that-, and they could be so indecisive in routine questions, like if they ask them “what do you want? chocolate milk or normal milk?” or “Should I put these pants or these ones?” I’m the libra sun I DONT FUCKING KNOW OKAY? IM IN MY FUCKING MIND AND I HAVE TO DRESS THE WAY I FEEL AND THE OCCASION OF COURSE AND THE…😭PLEASE HELP ME

—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

•This is based on my personal experience.

•English is not my first language.

•I’m not a profesional astrologer.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

#astro observations #astrology #libra sun #12h placements #taurus moon #aquarius #aquarius mercury #gemini #gemini moon #taurus #gemini rising #pisces moon #astrologia #sag venus #pinterest #thisisnotmyfirstlanguage #fuck it #astro notes

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tonberry-yoda · 10 months ago

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Love your writings! Enemies to lovers with our favourite capo? 👀

Enemies to Lovers - Bruno Bucciarati

notes - SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG OMFG! It's literally been in my ask box for a year dude. It might not be the best and I apologize, but nonetheless, it was still fun. I hope you enjoy, even if it's silly. word count - 861

You were told to kill Bruno Bucciarati.

It was part of the job. Kill important people, make lots of money. Easy right?

You looked at yourself in the mirror as you tied up your hair and hid a knife in a garter around your leg. You felt… pretty. You smiled at yourself and turned to look at your outfit.

A ball with mafia members wasn’t rare, and it wasn’t rare that you went to them. You had actually met Bruno on several occasions.

It was such a shame you had to kill the poor man.

He was kind. Kinder than a lot of people you had met on the job. Kind, but he hated you. You knew he did. The way he would look at you over his glass of champagne from across the room, you just knew he wanted to kill you.

Frankly, you didn’t like him much either. You weren’t supposed to be kind in the mafia. If he was supposed to be any sort of boss, he should act like one. You were busting your ass just to hope that you would get promoted while he was building his way up dressed like a model.

You felt really good about the night to come. Never had you been so… nervous about a job.

You walked to the car that was waiting for you just outside of your house and you crawled in, thanking the driver.

It wasn’t a long drive, just a stressful one. You could feel your hands shaking. You had done this a thousand times before, so why was it so hard all of the sudden? You took a deep breath as the car stopped in front of a large mansion. You thanked the driver again and stepped out. The knife you hid was still securely against your thigh, so you walked to the entrance without a second thought.

The ballroom was crowded. Full of thousands of members of the mafia trying to make deals and kill each other. The energy was ecstatic. You loved it.

You scanned the room trying to get something. Anything. Any sign that Bruno was there. He had to be there. You saw dozens of familiar faces, so where was he?

“Hello, y/n.”

You nearly jumped out of your skin hearing Bruno behind you. You turned around and smiled wryly at him.

“Bucciarati.” You nodded.

“How lovely to see you.” He smiled.

“You as well.”

“Champagne?” He held out a glass to you with golden, bubbly liquid.

You took it with a smile. “How considerate.” You took a long sip, not once taking your eyes off of Bruno. The knife on your leg was getting antsy.

“Would you care to dance?” Bruno asked.

He was making this easy for you… too easy. You gave him a side eye, but took his hand anyway, setting your drink down on the table, knowing that you would probably never see it again.

Bruno swept you onto the dance floor, perfectly wrapping his arm around your waste. Dare you think that he was trying to make you fall in love.

“So, what are you doing here?” he asked quietly.

“What everyone else is doing here.” you answered vaguely.

“Always so clever.” he chuckled, shaking his head.

You two danced for a while. It felt like your heart was going to burst out of your chest and give you away if you didn't do anything soon.

“Everything all right?” Bruno asked.

You smiled. “Mhm. Just fine.”

“It’s getting crowded in here,” he whispered in your ear. “Let’s take this to the garden.”

Now you knew that he had figured out something. You were screwed if you followed him, but you were even more screwed if you didn’t. You let him lead you to the garden and tried to keep some sanity. It was a simple job. It was the least you could do.

It was cold out. But the kind of cold that you enjoy after time in the beating sun. A chill ran down your spine, but you didn't mind it.

Bruno sat on a bench next to some daisies and patted the open spot next to him. You sat next to him and looked up at the stars and moon. Now or never.

“Who’s paying you to kill me?” Bruno asked.

You weren’t shocked.

“Can't tell you.” you said.

He hummed in response. “I see. Well, are you going to do it?”

You looked over at him and chuckled. “No, I don’t think so.”

“No? Don't tell me you’re going soft.”

You slowly took the knife out and twirled it in your hand. “Not soft. I just think I brought the wrong weapon.”

Bruno laughed and leaned back on the bench. “Some other time then?”

You looked at the knife. “Yeah. Some other time.”

You turned to pull the knife out on him, to actually get the job done, but Bruno planted a quick kiss on your cheek and disappeared.

That knife wouldn’t have been of much help anyway.

Strangely, you longed for the next meeting with Bruno. To perhaps actually get the job done with a better weapon and a long dance.

~~~~~

jjba masterlist (2) (3) (4) | pinned post | ko-fi

2024 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated <3

~~~~~

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laurrelise · 3 months ago

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saw your tua post about five i dont go here but i need to know did they pull an incest again. is that why everyones mad or did the ship just suck

ok so i’m assuming you’re talking about season 4!! i’ll leave this part very vague and spoiler free and if you don’t mind more specific spoilers (only about the ship, not about the actual end of the season) than check under the cut! :)

ok so not incest this time. the ship just reeeeeally sucks because it’s not only out of character but it ruined multiple arcs and relationships.

unhinged angry explanation of my least favorite part about season 4 below the cut!! (beware: yapping)

ok hi again! so five and lila get together. they fall for each other after they get stuck between timelines in this alternate dimension subway station thing, and they spend 7 years trying to find their way back home.

it turns out that lila was only doing it to survive because she needed something to hold onto while five, having been through this once before, had fallen head over heels for her.

he withholds information that can take them home for 6 months and lila is pissed and tells him it wasn’t real because she wants to get home to diego and her children, and five tells her that she knows she’s happier between timelines with him, blah blah blah it’s a whole thing.

five reluctantly goes back with lila and it’s really awkward and he’s pissed at diego (even though it was LITERALLY NEVER HIS FAULT) because lila is clearly still in love with him. they argue a little, lila gets between them, diego suspects something’s going on and asks, and then the truth unfolds and he’s (REASONABLY) heartbroken. it’s really sad to watch tbh

anyways then the end of the world starts to happen once again and i won’t go into specific spoilers for that because it would take WAY too long but basically five and diego are beating the shit out of each other and five literally outright says “i wanna fucking kill him” and lila tells him that it’s over between them and he goes and sulks because he was truly in love blah blah blah blah blah. anyways

it ends with five and diego hating each other. and it’s really fucking frustrating. and i really don’t mind what people ship for the most part, but this specific ship pissed me the fuck off because it should NOT have been canon. in my mind it still isn’t canon because this whole season sucked ass and i refuse to accept it as real.

you’re telling me five hargreeves, the man who survived for 45+ years with the single goal to save his family gave up on them after 7 years with the only other person around because he fell for her? why the hell was this necessary? why did the writers do this bro 😭 that is not the five i spent 3 seasons absolutely cherishing. i refuse to accept it

but also you’re telling me that the entire show ends with five hating diego and diego hating him?????? this entire season was SO out of character for the both of them but i STILL can’t get over (and will absolutely NEVER get over) that the writers really thought they could get away with the hargreeves despising each other like this. so pissed about this season omfg

so not only was the ship problematic for age differences on BOTH ends (fives body was 19 but lila’s was 36ish, probably older, while fives mind was 64 while she was AGAIN 36ish???? like how did they manage to make it pedophilic on both ends bro lmfao) (and do not even get me STARTED on the age differences of the actors and the fact that this has clearly been planned since aidan was a very young minor and the writers were waiting around for him to become 18 so it would be legal like fucking creeps) but it also involved cheating / homewrecking (with family no less) as well as multiple relationships ruined. i LOVED five and diego as a duo before. why the FUCK was this necessary *i scream from the rooftops*

anyways sorry for my chronic yapping, that is all.

i hate five x lila, have a good day.

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chokchokk · 2 years ago

Text

𝐧𝐨 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐞 [𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐬] | choi san x fem!reader

PART ONE of : have your way with words, be my people pleaser

“San, what else do I have to do? Draw it out? Do I have to beg?”

𝚜𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜 : You’ve always been able to read him like a book, but for some reason you still fold for San.

"You've never begged."

𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎 : fluff, smut

𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 : 6.9k

𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 : teasing, painful attempts at flirting and joking, vaginal fingering, no usage of y/n (forgive me), vaginal sex, pet-names

𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚜 : considered for revision

𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎 : this was like the first choi san smut i've ever written and i was trying to find my tone and omg i actually don't want to re-read it it's probably SO CRINGY omfg. i'm sorry for any icky moments i did not know any better 2 months ago LMAO this is also the only part that's pure "fluff" just fyi because i hadn’t planned this to be a series yet !!!!

He’s biting his lip, rolling his head to the back, trying his very best to stay focused on the paper he’s working on, all while you look at him in awe from the other side of the table. His glasses have slid dangerously close to his nose tip and the hair clip you’ve put into his hair to hold it together has lost all of its strength already — you really have to pull yourself together to not carefully slide one of the locks away from his eyes.

Yes, San is a complete mess, and undoubtedly failing at hiding it. He probably doesn’t want to ruin the late library ambience, being the thoughtful Sannie he is, or at least not destroy the study sessions by not focusing on work, but the infuriated tapping with his pen against the wooden table isn’t covering any of his angry grunts.

But even if you’ve noticed his desperation an eternity ago and have been deeply distracted by it ever since, you can’t bare to tell him that you’ve already given up. You guys have promised each other at least one is going to get this session done, so San be it, you tell yourself. If you have counted correctly, there are just ten minutes left on the clock, he should be able to do that, no matter how stressed he is.

And usually, you’re optimistic he’s able to do it, but you’ve never seen San’s eyes darken like this before. On normal days, he’s all smiley and giggly, squeaking words of helplessness at tasks that overwhelm him, covering up his frustration very well. Of course you can still look through his façade and say things like “San, let’s take a break” or similar things, but that’s only when he’s smiling still.

Maybe it’s because you’re both studying for finals that there’s a lot of competitiveness or ego involved. Anyhow, you don’t want to get yourself involved in that, no, don’t want to resolve it at all, actually.

Let’s say it like this; San is scaring you, yes, but he is also being incredibly hot and turning you on so much without knowing it. You can’t help but watch his dissatisfaction being gulped down his freckled, thick neck, and observe his Adam’s apple moving up and down. You draw a trail along his jawline and the loose black T-shirt he’s wearing with your eyes, following his neckline until the rhythm of his heavy breathing is revealed by his moving breast.

San knows a lot, yes, but what he doesn’t is that he’s a walking sex symbol with his broad shoulders, narrow waist and intimidatingly friendly face. He’s biting his lips with just no idea what his looks are doing to your privates this exact moment and his soft voice is not helping.

He’s at his last task now and you catch yourself be a bit disappointed, when he takes his hand to balance his head and covers his face with it. You could feel guilty now for not interrupting or lending him a helping hand, but being attracted to your designated study buddy for the longest time with a painful amount of allusions to it is way more straining you on an emotional level than the stalker-behaviour you’re showing. How San hasn’t caught up is baffling to you, and the amount of times you’ve tried to make a move only for him to be oblivious is painful. (Let it be known you were never forced to answer Seonghwa’s question of “would you fuck San?” with the honesty that you did, but his little sheepish smile after your nod is enough to confirm that he should know, but just doesn’t. Sure, it’s unclear until this day if he even understood the question or the answer correctly, but it just feels like you have done most of your part.)

��I’m almost done,” San murmurs— breaking the silence between you two in the library— his voice comparing to nothing more but a sigh. He’s tensed up, eyebrows furrowed, and he’s scrunching his nose a little bit to sniff his agitation away.

“Take your time,” you try to say as nicely as possible, attempting to calm him down. It does help, it seems, because San is straightening his back to take a deep breather, his eyes finally wavering away from the paper. You smile at him and get a head nod in return.

Sharing this short moment of just acknowledging each other’s presence, you confirm that San, regardless of how socially (sexually?) stupid he can be, is an intelligent guy after all, not to be shaken up by this little bit of studying. Straight A’s, perfect GPA, teacher’s favourite — you’re lucky professor Kang has put you in so many group assignments together, or else you would have never been able to meet with San like this on a Friday evening, studying for your finals.

“I feel like I ran run five miles or have to commit arson,” San jokes half-heartedly in a breath and you giggle, looking around to not disturb the other students with your laughter. “What’s stopping you?”, you ask playfully, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t know,” San answers and touches the backside of his head with both of his hands. “What’s stopping you, hm?”

You frown, the once raised eyebrow coming right back down, your amusement wearing down.

“What’s supposed to be stopping me?”

San pouts innocently and fetches the clip from his hair, black bangs falling to his face, but he doesn’t set his glasses, making him look at you with squinted eyes. They look even heavier now, eyelids covering most of his irises when he leans forwards to you: “You haven’t touched a single task since an hour now, why didn’t you tell me you were done?”

You don’t know why you pant in panic— it’s an understandable question, San probably noticed you stared at the man during the whole time he was the only one committed to the studying— and you’re afraid there’s this tension again, but not driven to the paper, but you.

“You, lemme think, looked too..”

You know your sentence can’t be finished in any way that would be positive. You would’ve liked to end it with “concentrated” or “in the zone” to give him credibility for his hard work, but San has been way too obvious struggling to hold on, and you’re not a good liar.

“… Handsome.”

It’s not a Freudian slip, if it’s on purpose, yes.

“You looked to good to be true, San. If you weren’t wearing the baggiest shirt from three days ago, you’d coin dark-academia realness.”

You always make jokes like these, it’s your expertise. They usually make San enormously embarrassed, which is the best part of it all: He, who was growling his frustration away, is now giggling, expression softening, as he scrunches his face together with a wide smile. The high-pitched noise awakens your motherly instincts— it’s these moments you could just melt away in adoration.

“You’re lucky you’re not a professor, because that look you gave that paper right there isn’t going to help anybody concentrate on their studies. People-pleaser? Teacher's pet? I wish."

“Ugh!”, San moans quietly, his dimples revealing that he’s deeply touched. He will never get used to your overly specific (and usually sexually connotated) compliments, but it’s better that way. San cracks his fingers to recover, but then covers his mouth to hide his blushing smile once more. Take that for two people-pleasing and validation-seeking students, one more focused on studies, one more trying to fuck than the other. He barely goes to parties, which robs you of the little chances of opportunities to make a move on him.

“Okay, I won’t lie to you, I was done long before you, but someone’s gotta be valedictorian this year.”

“Really nice of you”, San sighs— he’s gathered himself now and has put on his friendly smile again, “But I’m really done now as well.”

“How done?”

“To go home-done.”

“My home, I assume.”

“Of course.”

With his finishing sentence, you hold a staring-match again, which you lose, as San takes his pile of paper and stacks it vertically to organise his stuff.

From here, the procedure should be simple. He drives you to your place (safe), maybe he’ll eat a midnight-snack with you (very likely), and maybe watch a movie (unlikely today) to then leave, if he doesn’t fall asleep during that. You already have the night schedule written out in front of you, and all you’re left is whether you’ll convince San for another study session tomorrow.

But then, in the car, San grabs the steering wheel but doesn’t start to drive.

You think he must be too tired and decide not to ask him. Honestly, you feel quite dizzy as well, but mostly because San has opened his mouth half-way now, audibly breathing in and out — it sounds like he’s panting. His tongue has also runned along his upper lip, making it glisten reddish pink under the parking lot-lighting. It’s unbearably arousing you. “Give me just a second,” he murmurs.

“Does your head hurt? We can just walk, you know,” you suggest, but San shakes his head: “No, that’d be inefficient and really dumb.”

“You’re the one dozing off, San, not me!”, you scoff and turn yourself around to face him, elbow placed on the radio. San opens one eye — it looks like he’s winking, his tongue pressed against this upper teeth. “And you’re being quite sassy, aren’t you?”, he grins and you swear you’ve never wanted to not shut up more in your entire life.

“If being sassy is what keeps you awake, I don’t see anything wrong with it, San,” you fight back, even more playfully this time, lips pouted to emphasise your mocking tone. There is a clear, lustful intention you’re trying to project, and secretly, you hope San notices it, but there isn’t any indication he isn’t already, which you find strange.

“Oh, you think I must be real tired, huh?”

San begins to grin and all of the sudden, things are happening very fast: His hands aren’t placed on the steering wheel anymore, one of them has moved to your chin, holding (and keeping) it up, after you try to back away out of reflex, the other is placed dangerously near to your hip — he’s propping himself against the seat, you can feel him breathe against your nose tip. His whispers expand like flames on your face. What has ignited this man?

“San?”, you ask carefully, every bit of playful confidence inside you crumbling down to your guts. It’s not like you aren’t enjoying this still, in fact, you feel like you’re going to go savage and clash your face against his any second, but San’s finger is pressing so delicately, yet so firmly into your skin, it’s messing up your projected image of the cute little — unfortunately sexy — nerd in your head. You don’t want to admit you’re intimidated, but San has been extra scary since he said he wanted to light buildings on fire. At the same time, you’ve been waiting days, no, weeks for this and a tingle between your legs signals you that you’ve been prepared ever since.

“Can’t go home yet, can we?”

His eyes are still dark, when you look at them through his glasses and there’s a bit of shine left on his lips, when you glance at them longingly. San’s breath is shaky, and you’re not sure whether yours is as well. You’re too focused on imagining the next scene. San has finally reached his burning point, it appears, and you’re too stunned to react verbally to his question. Are you seriously going to do it in the car, in the library parking lot?

“Buckle up.”

It is only now that you notice you haven’t put your seat-belt on. The sound of the plug clocking in takes you out of your reverie.

“San, screw you. Oh my god, screw you so much.”

He laughs a dirty laugh, even more so devilishly, when he returns to his seat and immediately begins to drive out of the parking spot. Has he been acting? Fuck this. Hastily, you have to get into your original position and buckle yourself up as he has told you. This bitch, you think to yourself and stare holes into the car window, this motherfucking bitch.

“Just a little revenge for making me work alone because you wanted to make me valedictorian? Or what, because I’m— what was it? Too handsome?” His voice has turned softer immediately, teasing you with a sweet undertone.

“Okay, we’re even now!”, you laugh sarcastically, trying to not become sulky. You’ve subconsciously crossed your legs and arms already, and your whole body is turned away from the driver’s seat.

“Sure,” San answers and you can hear him press some buttons. “Music?”

You throw him a side-eye and take the AUX.

“I could violate your ears so good right now,” you snap and search for a fitting playlist for this frightening night.

“You could try.”

When has San become a bully? How has it come to this? San is playing with you, more obviously than ever before — toying with you in the game you started.

But let it be known you could never be offended by this man.

Because when you play the first song that came to your mind— it’s «Sexbomb» by none other than Tom Jones — it becomes clear that you are more than happy to be his gaming companion, levelling up the tension to the max, though it's not a sensual song per se.

It’s petty, but provocative at the same time. You’ve never gotten what you wanted, have never expected to get it, and the surreality of the scenery just a few seconds ago is enough to keep you stimulated for the whole drive, ignoring San’s big grin on his face, as he safely gets you home.

And of course San joins in for the midnight meal. Without having spoken a word for a quarter hour now, you open the fridge and cram out anything eatable. You should’ve went grocery shopping, there’s barely anything left.

“Not so prepared, I see?”

“San, if you say one more word, I will—“, you shut the door of the fridge, revealing a San who’s leaned against the wall, crossing his arms, head thrown to the back to squint at you.

“You’ll what?”

He’s the worst and heaven knows he should know that as well. Every attempt to overthrow him fails, because nothing seems to break this man — you can’t animate this man for you own good, even when he’s try-harding to look cool.

“You’re being a bitch today and I hate it.” Biting your lip, you rethink your sentence and shake your head, eyes not swaying away from the black-haired man. “Actually, scrap that, I hate that I like it way too much,” you hiss, ridiculing yourself and taking of your sweatshirt, leaving you in a sheer top. It’s warm, you’re hot, this situation be very easy to understand.

He doesn’t know what to do. Or maybe he does, and he’s just being a pain in the ass again: both could be absolutely true, when he moves his head and musters you from bottom to the top, a huff leaving his nose. It seems as if he’s mocking and checking you out at the same time, licking his lips and biting his tongue.

“San, what else do I have to do? Draw it out? Do I have to beg?”

You whine and you’re not one bit embarrassed about it, though San doesn’t even take it in the desperate way you clearly are.

“You’ve never begged.”

San is scratching his neck, acting like an innocent brat, much to your obvious disapproval.

“Come on, you can’t be that dumb, San, can you?”

“How would I be?”

“San, what the fuck does that mean?”

“It’s simple,” and San is pushing himself from the wall now, taking heavy steps towards you, “I can’t give you an answer to a question you’ve never asked.”

“I,” you begin to think of your next line argument, but noticing how he’s pulling his eyebrows together to throw you an almost belittling look through his lowered glasses, you give up, baffled about the reality. Replacing the next words, you pant.

“I’ll give you an answer, alright?”, San encourages you, taking one last big step. He’s standing in front of you now, in your little kitchen, next to the counter, looking down at you, free and available as he can be.

“Whatever it is; yes,” he whispers, accepting something you’ve never offered him directly.

Of course San isn’t dumb. How could he have been, when you’ve been so obvious? There’s a shameful heat driving up your stomach and you bite your lip.

“Baby, I’m all yours.”

You could have kept teasing him for the way he was obviously lowering his voice to sound more authoritative or sexy or something , but no, it’s just too much. Being cornered by San, hearing him surrender to you with his words, but still in a way that made him dominant over you — that is just way too much.

Seriously, all yours? Where did he get that one from? Wattpad?

“Fuck right off, San.”

It feels like your brain splits in half, your conscience leaving the second you throw yourself at San, hands grabbing every piece of hair you can get to pull him down to your face, whispering insults into his mouth, as your heads meet. He just grins and licks over your teeth, tongue slicking against yours.

“Happily,” he murmurs into the kiss, his hands grabbing you by your hip and waist, pulling you towards his muscular body. He must think he’s being so funny and yes you would have loved to argue with him, but you’re weak in his grip, ruffled by the pure tension that has been brewing all those days. There’s wet noises and sucking to be heard and it’s all sending urgent signals to your privates. You will, no must fuck him, and you're going to fuck him better than whatever he’s expecting from you, just to blow his mind.

You let his hair go and tug at the seam of his shirt, prompting him to raise his arms and have his clothing be slid off his body. Eagerly, you come back to his lips while throwing the shirt to the side and take steps forwards, leading San to your bedroom. Entrusting you with the guidance, he walks backwards and falls onto the bed, breaking the kiss. With a grunt, San props himself with his elbow, but before he can tower over you, you reach your arm over his shoulder, grabbing the bed frame, trying your best to keep his broad silhouette under your eyes.

Your lips already feel numb and you swear you can feel something pulsating inside your pants, when you slowly slide onto his lap and let the warm fabric touch. After a bit of movement, you and San are both shuddering and whimpering, lips meeting again in the snake-like maneuvering. He’s becoming harder with every little suck at his tongue, twitching even, and in addition, you’re becoming too impatient as well to edge yourself like this.

Your hands move to the zipper of his baggy jeans, and San is trying to take this as a sign he’s allowed to take off his pants, but you give his palm a little slap. He smirks and returns his hand to take a pillow, stuffing it behind his neck. You wanted to take control, but he’s way too comfortable with it, it’s annoying you, yet at the same time, you wouldn’t even know what to tell him at this point.

Opening the zipper and sliding a hand in, you trail the outer side of San’s shaft through his boxer-shorts with your finger to identify with what kind of girth and length you’re working with and comment “bigger than I expected”, as if you have imagined it before, which would be the truth, yes, but not smaller than the absolute unit he is possessing.

“Ah, really?”, San gutters, voice shaking with each little touch of yours, but never letting his guard down completely. You anchor his boxer-shorts and tug it down just until the point when his shaft jumps out. He gulps and opens his mouth to pant again, when you spit into your hand and palm his shaft to give it a nice stroke from the very bottom to the top, admiring the shine of it. You pump his penis, feeling the skin inside your hand slide with every movement, and make it grow to its final length that way. It’s fascinating, really, but you’re too busy to contemplate about reality. You take the initiative and get a taste of the wet mixture that is your own saliva and his pre-cum. You pump the part you can’t reach with your throat and in no time, San’s eyes are rolling to the back.

“That’s good,” he comments, going through your hair, which motivates you to go even deeper. Hitting the back of your throat, his girth makes you tear up, but you sit through it, since San is tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, caressing your head softly. You try your best to suck and slide your tongue over his tip, to which he immediately reacts. “Hmnh~”, he hums and you bathe in his pleasure-lorn breaths, until you kind of get a hunch of what he likes the best and continue to drive him this way. “That’s good… Hnnh- heek!”

Was that a weep? You thought the whines were high enough, but San is definitely hiding his high moans, trying to cough them out. You continue to bop your head and watch his aroused expressions with amusement; his eyebrows are pushed together to form a needy frown, teeth biting down on his lower lip, inflicting pain on himself. From what it looks like, he’s pretty close, his hand weakly lying on top of your head, hesitating to push you back, once you remove it.

“Don’t cum yet!”, you demand, and San sighs helplessly.

“You’re edging me?”, he manages to choke out with a smirk, and San wipes away your tears from your cheeks. “As if I couldn’t get hard immediately after from just looking at you!”

You scoff, his directness has caught you a little bit of guard. You’re still trying to return to normal breathing after quite literally having been choked by his dick, not be attacked by his sudden strike of confidence.

“Can I undress you?”, he asks and you nod, all the hair he’s put away falling back in front of your face.

Once your shirt and bra is off with quick seconds of his hands at your back, San is taking his view all in, his plump lips parted and never to be closed again. Before you can wipe the grin from his face, he storms at your dekolleté, swinging his arms around you. His sucks are tugging at your nipples, after he pushes himself forward, one arm fully around your back, the other finding his way to your other breast to massage it. Moan after moan leaves your mouth and your head becomes heavy, falling to the back: his hand effortlessly catches it, finding safety in your hair. As you scratch his neck, grabbing it to pull him closer to your upper body, you repeatedly pant his name.

“Hm? What?”, he reacts, circling your skin with his tongue.

It’s so erotic, you think you’re going to cum untouched, pants on and all. San is leaving kisses everywhere on your torso, some wetter than the others. He is leaving a trace of saliva on your neck with his tongue, gliding against your chin with it, ultimately meeting your lips once again. It’s filthy, but just so, so erotic.

He’s still holding your breast in his hand, stimulating your nipples while filling your mouth with a mixture of spit and rhetoric (and very provocative) questions.

“Feels good?”, San asks with a raspy voice, his nose scrunched amusedly, when he sees how messed up you are. Strands of hair are sticking on the wet spots of your skin, drops of sweat are dripping down to your collarbones. You’re already so disheveled. “Want me to continue?”

“Yes, pl—,” You can’t find the words, as they get lost somewhere in San’s mouth, once you give him confirmation. His tongue is exploring the inner space of your mouth, and his hand has become busy with taking off your pants. You kneel, making space to let your jeans slide off your thighs and you have to raise your legs to finally get rid of it. Your panties are still on, when he lets his hand slide between your legs. His hand feels warmer than the heat that you have become, and when San finds your clitoris through the fine fabric, you spasm to the front. You bury your face into his shoulder and bite a small inch of his skin, when he begins to stroke that spot with two of his fingers and nibbles at your ear and whispers sweet nothings into it.

“So wet.”

Sharp breaths escape your breast, as he begins to play for your swollen clitoris.

“Come on, tell me what to do. There must be some things on your mind, right?”

San is luring you into a false sense of control and you’re stupid enough to obey his command. It’s just like he said; you need him, you need San, and if he doesn’t stop acting like he doesn’t know, you’re going to combust.

“Fuck, San, just make me feel—“, and though you can’t exactly hear yourself whine out from all the licking happening at your ear and his callous finger caressing your most sensitive area through the fabric, you still know you’re sighing, “so good.”

Your eyes lose focus, when you feel your panties disappear from your pussy, the cold air surprising your sensitive spot.

San sneers and finger-guns you, but before you can sneer, he sticks it into your mouth, lubing his digit up with your spit to carefully ease it to your pussy.

He groans and moves around the moisture for a short moment. San has always had quite thick fingers, but it feels even more robust now, when it slides into you. You clench around him and move your hips to the painfully slow pace of his pumps.

“Be patient. We don’t want you to hurt, do we?”

That he’s staying the nice little Sannie even in this situation makes you want to go insane, but not more than the slight scissoring to confirm your stretched innards.

“Patient enough?”, you hiss and grind against his hand again, to which San only coos, “Patient like the good girl you are.”

By then, his words and movements are almost like magic, when he angles his finger a little bit and finds your g-spot, which sends you into a short moment full of sparks and bliss, but a long, aching eternity, when it’s only repeated in the unbearably long intervals after a little bit of pulsating. You’re feeling every movement in such a detail, as if his one singular finger is becoming one with your body, one with your senses.

“Is this enough for you?”

You’re whirring and your mind is babbling nonsense from all the possibilities San is presenting you. Mushy and messed up, you move against his finger, which slips with ease through your wetness, while you try to figure out what you want more: San’s dick or San’s face.

“I’m waiting for an answer, you know,” San whispers, softly kissing your forehead, as he continues to finger you.

“Th- then eat me out,” you whine under your breath and something inside you churns, when he giggles and removes his finger. He raises you by your legs, pushing you by the hip at the same time. You’re on your back now, breathing heavily as San is aligning his face in front of your entrance.

“With pleasure,” he hums and spreads your legs with his elbows, putting you on full display. It’s much too late to feel embarrassed now. You’re not shaved, you basically haven’t done anything, but maybe the rawness of it all is what intrigues you as well.

He stretches the skin a bit with both of his hands, making it get used to the position, while he peppers soft kisses on each of your thighs, that tickle each spot of your skin. You relax into his hands and naturally, you exhale the tension out of you.

His tongue feels soft and hot compared to his finger, when he slides it from the very bottom to the top, sending a shiver to your spine. It’s sensual and slow, and it does appear to you that San is savouring the taste, pushing his whole tongue against your labia to get the full picture of it. You shudder, a mixture of your own pulsating muscle and his humming vibrating between your legs.

He sucks on your clit and you notice immediately how pleasured are, already grabbing your sheets and curling your toes, pushing your legs against his hands he’s using to keep you opened. “Fuck,” you whine and move your head to the back, yearning for more stimulation. A slight chuckle leaves San’s mouth, until he plunges his tongue into you whilst continuing to suck all the sex juice that leaks out of you. The breath leaving his nose warms your privates and you quite figuratively melt into his mouth.

This time, he doesn’t need a lot of searching for your g-spot with his fingers and you weren’t prepared to immediately be sent back to pleasure-haven. He slides through the rough walls from the inside of you and doesn’t leave any spot go untouched, while he catches anything leaving out of your pussy with his mouth, creating squelching sounds all around.

The pleasure at your clitoris and the pitter-pattering inside you is slowly tying the knot, and you shut your eyes with unavoidable whines leaving your lips. It’s all happening way too fast for you to react to each and every motion.

“Fuck, San, don’t stop, I’m— Oh, fuck—!”

The wet sounds of San’s saliva being mixed with your sex fluids, and his fingers moving in- and out of you again, they’re all adding onto the roller-coaster drop of your orgasm, but San thirstily panting “cum, cum for me!” against your vulva —while his tongue is busy pleasuring you—, his hot breath condensing against your own heat, that’s got to be one of the many significant factors that finally sends you over the top.

You moan and drive your lower body against his face, thighs closing down on him to squeeze his head.

San doesn’t even think about stopping there though and keeps you up there: He thunders his finger to push your button continuously and get every remaining squirt into his mouth, his tongue shovelling it all in.

“San, I— fuck! Please, San,” you beg, though it’s not a plead for him to stop, but rather make this moment last forever. You’re shaking, your pelvis is trembling towards his sharp nose that’s dug into your private hair, before you collapse onto your mattress and San eventually stops, grinning pridefully.

His lips are swollen pink, eyes covered with a desirous veil and San has to swipe his bangs away from his face to look at your exhausted expression that’s still recovering from that hell of a heavenly orgasm. He swallows whatever’s left inside his mouth and leans over to you in order to bathe in your bliss. Out of pure gratitude, you cup his face and kiss him.

“You look all messed up already,” he admits, and enjoyment can be heard in his voice. Returning the kiss, San prompts: “Can you handle a second round? Or want to handle a second round, that is.”

Still panting, you nod eagerly, your lips grazing against his repeatedly.

“With words, lovely.”

You whine at his mendacious, know-it-all smile and give him a slap. "Quit it with the fucking-, ugh!" With an airy voice, you groan: “Yes, San. Please. I can handle, want to handle— want you to handle me, right fucking now."

San pats your head, pressing another kiss on your forehead and crams through the night stand cabinet next to the bed, probably searching for a condom and finding an untouched package full of it.

“Freshly-bought or just unused?”, he asks jokingly, putting the hand on your cheek as if he was pitying you for your minimalistic sex life that he’s assuming. The other hand is occupied opening up the box. “When did you buy these?”, he lisps, holding the condom in his mouth to rip it open, “I hope these aren’t expired.”

“Expire my ass!”

Oh, he better know you were keeping those for a good reason every time he came over. (Though you’ll keep it a secret it took half a year to get them to use.)

“You should say how fortunate that there’s so many, San.” You sniff. “’Cause hell knows this isn’t going to be—“

San slips into the latex layer with ease and doesn’t hesitate to enter your hole with one big, smooth slide. His finger is nothing compared to the thickness you’re experiencing; you just feel full, the stretch inside you making you feel like your body is being turned inside out. Before you can finish your clap-back, a wrecked and whole-hearted moan leaves your mouth.

“Isn’t going to be what?”, San asks, lowering his upper body and ultimately pulling out a little bit, sticking a thumb into your open mouth, “The last time? Is that what it is? You know you’ll want this again? Really, sweetheart?”

You don’t even want to form words anymore and just nod eagerly, sucking at his finger that tastes slightly acidic.

“It’s so dangerous to say that, you know that?”, and he’s pressing his forehead against yours, his dark, deep eyes staring into you with suffocating concentration. His hand is buried deep in your scalp. “Because you don’t know how happy that would make me”, San purrs with a raspy voice, and an airy moan leaves his mouth the second he thrusts right back into you. “So, so, unfathomably happy.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm. I’m going to make you my little happy whore.”

It has already occurred to you that San had taken it as a challenge to call you every pet name that exists, but for him to degrade you like that, after every single word of of his sweet-talk has entranced you into numbing euphoria, has now just taken you to another state of pure bliss. With every creak of your bed and tug at your hair, your vision gets more blurry. You can see San and only San, piercing through you with his genitalia and eyes.

“Did you get that?”

“Y- yes!”

"I don't think so."

Your forehead cools down, when San gets his body back up again and installs his hands at your hips to get a good grab and also drive himself even deeper into you.

This has been your wet daydream for the longest of time— and even if you apparently could have been fucking him already during all those hours, which is frustrating, yes, but so, so fucking hot— listening to San’s sounds of pleasure, seeing his vision get all hazed from it and watching his eyes moving to the back of his, makes it all worth it.

He pulls in and out again, finding a steady pace to really feel your inner space expand and close down on him again.

“Are you going to fuck me stupid?”, you lisp into his finger, your saliva sliding down your lip, cooling your fever down.

You can feel he’s sweating as well, as your fingers search through the cold wetness of his hair. "Do you want me to fuck you stupid?”

“Yes! Yes, please. Fuck me stupid, San!”

And with that appellation, San removes the thumb from your mouth and collars your throat with an almost animalistic growl and thrusts with ridiculous precision and force at the same time, a loud clap echoing through your bedroom. You’re not sure whether you’ve made a mistake, but San is absolutely blinded by pure desire now. With a slight choke, you try to moan, his shaft moving in and out of you mindlessly.

As he pounds into you, you notice once more that San’s breaths are being cut short because he’s still trying to stay as quiet as possible and you stare him down, his fingers collaring your neck.

“I, I want you to—“, you stutter, gasping for air and trying to catch up with your shaken body, “‘want to hear you moan. Moan for me, San, please!”

He laughs a little bit, panting along your plead and places his lips against your earlobe, letting you breathe freely for the short moment he's roaring things into it, his hand tangled in your hair.

“You, hah, feel just as delicious as you taste. You feel so good around my big cock. I bet you’ve never, unnh, had a big cock like mine, haven’t you? Never had someone like me, shit, fuck you out like this. How, ah, fuck, long have you been fantasizing this, huh? Days? Weeks? Months? Stupid little girl, thinks I didn't know, haha."

His breathy moans are absolute angelic, and that’s all you can comprehend, when you slowly feel your mind drift away. He’s hitting the spots just right, pressing your buttons with aligned movements. His thrusts are becoming sloppy, your moaning more strained. You don't even care that San is showing you that everything you knew was a lie, or at least an act he's kept up to mock you, because if your obliviousness has led to this moment— his cock crashing through you with a pace that makes you fear the next morning— then yes, again, it was all really worth it.

"I'm gonna—", you whine, and you're cut off by his hand again. Your eyes can barely perceive his sex-drunk expression, when you feel the knot inside you preparing itself for explosion.

"You're gonna cum?", San asks, his heavy breathing making it sound like he's gasping, "Are you going to cum for me?"

"Yes, I am!", you grunt and the male licks his whole palm to lube it up in order to rub it around your clitoris for maximum pleasure. You shiver, your legs trying to free themselves from the heavy weight that is Choi San, and screams for mercy leave your mouth, your second orgasm sending you to heaven, hell and back to earth, when he pulls out and continues to slide his hand over your clitoris until you spasm away from his touch. In the meanwhile, San has taken the collar off your neck and resumed jacking himself off, moaning your name and other pretty words to himself.

"You're so pretty like this, fuck," he cusses, the squelching sounds in his hands becoming more inaudible. "So fucked-out, because of me— shit .. I'll—"

He grabs you by your head, pulling his own face closer to yours to meet your lips for the last time, quickly removing the condom. Sharing a deep kiss, he ejaculates onto your abdomen, moaning from his own release into your opened lips. You lay there, wordlessly, your brain both foggy and clear as it has never been. You feel your warm sweat dry refreshingly on your skin and San shuffles away from the bed, walking to the bathroom with practiced steps to discard the empty condom and return with a towel to get you clean.

"And?", he asks, as you search for your pillow to clench onto it, feeling the stretched skin inside you. Sure, San has somewhat prepared you for the fucking, but no metronome could replicate the cruel rhythm he made you cum with.

"What, and?", you ask him back, your voice a bit raspy from the loud moaning.

"How was it?"

San looks completely innocent again and it baffles you that you're falling for it again, even when his hair is forming unholy strands, immoral sweat dropping from his chin as he speaks. It's a cringe-worthy question and you would have dismissed it, if it wasn't for the cuddle you got from him.

"Come on, was it up to your imagination?", San begs you to answer, burying your body between his heated-up arms.

"Yes," you answer weakly. "Sannie, you’ve.. You've done your job. That was S-Level people pleasing, really."

San grins, placing multiple kisses over your temple and forehead. "You have such a way with words," he comments, "good thing that it really brings you far in life, hm?"

Was this the right time to make dad-jokes?

No, but nobody has fucked you out like San, so you'll let it slide. Even the corny "eating you out for breakfast" quip he makes in the morning, when you both notice that the fridge is still very much empty, or the "from study- to fuck-buddies" monologue he holds on your drive back to campus, you'll all let it slide.

(And maybe you're stating the obvious here, but poor Seonghwa is never going to forgive you for San's laugh after you say something sensational with "letting it slide" used in another context, this time in the narrow space of his residency-bedroom, his roomie having listened to all the sounds coming out of your mouth behind the thin walls.)

part two: “into it, too deep”

#ateez x reader #ateez smut #choi san x reader #choi san smut #choi san scenarios #choi san x you #choi san x y/n #haveyourwaywithwordsbemypeoplepleaser #chokkiwa

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twsted-kinks · 1 year ago

Note

Ch 7 spoilers

Being tag teamed by general lilia and sebek’s grandfather, omfg they just wouldn’t stop cause why should they? You’re nothing but a weak human good for nothing but using your holes

>ageless and minors dni<

Content Warning: dubcon/noncon, oral, anal, face fucking, spitroasting, implied gangbang

Maybe you're a human soldier, a scout who went to far into fae territory, and these two find you. These two could easily kill you,,but need to let off some major steam and you have holes that are easy to access. You don't want them to fuck you? Well, you can try to fight back, but your weak human body can't do anything to stop them.

Lilia is at least seems kind enough to eat out your hole(s) and suck your clit/dick, but your taste and the sound of your moans just turns him on. Sebek's grandfather couldn't give a fuck about you and just grabs a fistful of your hair and ruts into your mouth fast and hard, his balls slapping your chin with each thrust. Lilia's skilled mouth is still on you and it doesn't take long for you too cum. You hear laughter as they both degrade you for cumming before either of them. Depending on your parts (and fantasy) Lilia will either slowly front against your cock/rut into your cunt/asshole as he coos at you about how you take their cocks so well.

It probably takes hours for them to finally be satisfied. By the time they're done with you, you're coughing up cum, your stomach, chest, and thighs are absolutely coated, your hole(s) (and cock if you got it) are dripping with cum too. I wouldn't be surprised if you passed out, but, if you're able to stay conscious, they're impressed. You're strong enough to handle their fucking. Maybe you'd be good for morale for the rest of their soldiers. And thats how you end up tied to a makeshift breeding bench with a line of fae on either side of you ready to use you.

#dubcon #twst smut #twst writings #answers #twst x reader #twst lilia smut #idk sebek's gpa's name

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calicomarie11 · 16 days ago

Text

Secret Santa Fic Part 3

Eddie felt like a secret agent as he slipped into the firehouse at 6:00am, two hours before his shift was due to begin. He scanned the engine bay and let out a sigh of relief when he didn’t spot anyone. An engine and ambulance were missing, so he assumed most of C-shift were out on a call and the man behind must be upstairs.

He scuttled over to the locker room and opened Buck’s locker to deposit the first present he and Chris had decided on. He propped the book against the back of the locker and lined up the jars in front of it. He set the card that simply read “To Buck, From your Secret Santa” on top of the jars and then carefully closed the locker door.

Christopher had wanted him to write something flirty on the card, like “You’re Bee-utiful” or “You’re the Bee’s Knees” but Eddie had argued against it. He didn’t want to come off as creepy or stalker-ish, and while secret admirers were cute in fiction, in real life it was just weird.

They had negotiated until Eddie agreed to try to flirt with Buck in person to gauge his reaction. The butterflies in his stomach at the thought of actively flirting with Buck were concerning, but Eddie was willing to do anything to get Chris home. Even indulge his delusions that Buck might be interested in him as more than a friend.

Eddie slipped out of the firehouse and went to sit in his truck. He couldn’t actually show up for at least another 30 minutes and he knew Buck wouldn’t arrive before 7:00am. He texted Chris to let him know the present had been delivered and then decided that he had enough time to drive to the 24 hour coffee shop and pick up drinks for himself and Buck.

He walked into the firehouse 45 minutes later with two to-go cups in his hands and a duffle over his shoulder and smiled when he saw that Buck was in the locker room, just setting down his bag.

He walked into the room and hip checked Buck before handing him his abomination of an iced mocha frappe with both vanilla and cinnamon added.

“Hey, thanks man,” Buck said before he took a long draw on the straw and then wrinkled up his forehead as the cold sweetness hit him. “What’s the occasion?”

Eddie shrugged. “Nothing, just woke up early enough for a coffee run.” He took a sip of his own coffee and tried not to shudder at the bitterness. One of these days he should try to figure out what kind of coffee he actually liked, instead of taking the path of least resistance and always drinking it black.

Buck looked at him with concern, his eyes scanning his face for signs of stress of tiredness. “Okay,” he drawled out, his brows furrowed, but he let it go.

Buck turned to open his locker and Eddie set down his coffee, torn between bringing his phone out so he could take a picture when Buck saw his present and trying to pretend like he wasn’t expecting anything.

He compromised by opening his locker and peering around the door as Buck dialed in the combination for his locker. As the lock clicked opened, Chim entered the room and distracted Buck with his hello and a plea for help coming up with a Christmas gift for Maddie.

Eddie grimaced and turned to his own locker, shoving his bag inside as he listened to Buck and Chim exchange ideas. They were still talking when Eddie ran out of reasons to linger in the locker room and had to leave. He snagged his coffee and headed up to the loft, disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to see Buck’s reaction to his gift.

He was pulling two hot slices of toast out of the toaster when Buck finally made his way upstairs, the book clutched in one hand and the other holding two jars filled with a golden liquid.

“Hey Eddie, look what I got from my Secret Santa,” Buck said, his face beaming.

Eddie dutifully turned and examined the copy of OMFG, BEES! that Buck was waving in front of his face.

“Its by the guy who does those hilarious bird books. I didn’t even know he had written a book about bees. This would have come in handy earlier this year,” Buck enthused.

“Oh, and two jars of local honey. This one has lavender and this one has ginger infused. Isn’t that cool!”

Eddie got out the butter and spread it on the toast as Buck started rambling about how the flowers bees gathered nectar from could change the taste of the honey and the difference between infused honey and honey from bees that feed almost exclusively on one type of flower.

Once the toast was buttered, he grabbed two fresh table knives and interrupted Buck to ask if he wanted to try his new honey on the toast.

“That’s a great idea,” he said, reaching for a knife and spreading a different honey on each slice of toast. Then Buck cut each slice into triangles and gestured to Eddie to grab one to.

They tried the slice with lavender honey first and Buck said it would go great on a scone.

“Are you still baking that much?” Eddie asked with a frown. He thought enough time had passed that Buck would be ready to move on, but if he was still hung up on Tommy he might not be open to a new relationship.

“Nah, now it’s just the usual holiday baking. Although I have enough sugar cookies in my freezer I don’t have much to do,” Buck said.

Eddie relaxed and smiled at Buck. “That’s great. I’m glad you’re moving on.”

“Yeah, I think my New Year’s Resolution should be to take a year off of dating. Maybe I just need to accept that it’s not meant to be and figure out how to be okay alone.”

And that’s…not ideal for Eddie’s purposes, but better then Buck jumping into another relationship before he has a chance to offer himself as an alternative.

They kept chatting as they finished their toast and Eddie could feel the stickiness on his skin where some of the honey had dripped off his slice. Normally he would just wash his hands, but he had promised Chris he’d try flirting, so instead he lifted his hand to his mouth and licked the honey off his finger. He watched Buck while he did it and tried to gauge his reaction.

It wasn’t until he stuck his finger in his mouth to suck off the remnants that Buck’s conversation stuttered and his eyes fixed on Eddie’s mouth. He his voice dropped off and he stared. When Eddie quirked his eyebrows at him, he seemed to come back to himself and threw himself off his stool, gathering the book and the jars of honey.

“I’m going to go show Hen my book,” Buck said quickly, a flush on his cheeks as he turned away and scurried down the stairs.

Eddie smiled to himself as he washed his hands and took care of the their plates.

Maybe Chris was on to something after all.

Part 1, Part 2,

Now on AO3

#buddie #evan buck buckely #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #secret santa #christmas fic #9 1 1

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usernamegobrrrrr · 1 month ago

Text

here ya go (it's shit)

"...Vi?" A familiar voice echoed behind the (anGry oiL sLiCk- *ahem*) red haired woman. "Vi I know you are in here," That... annoying, nagging, gorgeous, thick accented, soothing voice sounded closer now.

"Violet." The stern tone ripped Vi out of her daze. She looked behind her, at the love if her life.

"...Cait? What... what happened to you?" Vi asked, her voice trembling. Vi still sat on the edge where she had watched her sister plummet. She couldn't move. Well, not her arm at least.

"I dont think you are the person who should be asking that," Caitlyn chuckled, taking a seat next to Vi. "You look..." She paused, taking in the (I want to say butch so bad omfg) woman's appearance. "Absolutely gorgeous." She breathed, not knowing what to say.

"...didn't I say not to sugar coat it, cupcake?" Vi chuckled, then winced at her (obviously) broken arm. Caitlyn's gaze dropped to the injury.

"Vi... your arm. Let's get you to a med-" She was interrupted by Vi grabbing her wrist.

"Wait. Dont... not yet. I can't leave. Not until I'm sure..." Vi glanced down into the deep chasm where she prayed that Jinx could be... okay... "Will you just..." She began

"Sit with you?" Caitlyn finished. "Of course I can." With that, the two gently sat on the creaking ledge, in silence. Vi reached up to turn Cait's face towards hers, locking their gaze.

"I'm still worried about your eye.." She murmured, bringing her lips to the patch covering the injury. Cait drew in a quick sigh of relief, and embraced her lover. They would be okay. They had to be.

WELL THAT WAS HELLA GAY. Anyways, here ya go. Let me go look up your username. Also, sorry in advance bc im stupid and couldn't spell Caitlyn without the y...

GOT IT! @nervoustoastthing

#Caitvi #Arcane #i suck at writing #YayyyY

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a-random-weeb · 1 year ago

Note

I hear your cry for inspiration and have come to help! Here we go! Hows about Dazai wing-manning for any poor soul of your choice!

OMFG YES TYSM I NEEDED EASY REQUESTS I LOVE YOU ANON!!

૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა./づᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊° i shoot u >:(

૮꒰ ˶> ༝ <˶꒱ა./づᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊°.~♡︎ with love tho-

Kunikida was too perfect to be the poor soul

Ikik, this definitely isn't my best, for some reason when I have writers block my writing quality also just 📉📉📉😭

Warnings: Dazai in himself is a warning, this is crack

----------------------------------------------------------

Dazai shouldn't be allow in the same country as a woman, and yet here he was handing out dating advice.

"Let yourself relax! Be chill and cool about it!" Dazai beams, yanking Kunikidas notebook out of his hands and throwing it in the public garbage can of the city. Cars speed by as Dazai gives kunikida a small lesson on

"Hey!!" Kunikida hustles over to the bin, digging it out, "Don't throw my child in the trash!"

"You won't need that if you're gonna be anywhere within a 50 ft radius of a woman." Dazai continues, "You have no rizz or gyatt... What to do about that...?"

"Are you speaking another language?" Kunikida asks as a genuine question. Dazai chuckles, getting a horrible great idea

"No! Gyatt means 'lady', so if you say "you have a nice gyatt" it means "you're a nice lady"! Trust me, all the girls love to hear that." Dazai says with a mischievous smirk. Kunikida raises his eyebrow, but proceeds to take notes none the less.

"And what does 'riss' mean?"

"It's pronounced 'rizz'. Rizz means you're a nice guy! So if you say "I have so much rizz", it means I'm a nice guy and you should date me! In a less awkward way ofc!" Kunikida scribbles this down. Dazai continues to ramble and teach kunikida his "knowledge".

"I think it's about time you approach a woman! I'll take this for the time being!" Dazai once again steals kunikidas notebook, pointing to a random woman, "Go approach her!! I'll be watching!" He giggles, pushing Kunikida towards the lady who was peacefully walking before disgaurding kunikidas notebook once more in the public trashcan.

"To, hey girlie! You got a nice gyatt! I've got rizzler frfr!" Kunikida attempts. "I-I- meant have rizz and am rizzler!" He stutters. The lady cringes and awkwardly slips away, leaving kunikida confused and Dazai a mess of mischievous laughter.

"What did i do wrong?" He turns to Dazai, watching the brunette die of laughter.

"Oh, taking advantage of your ignorance is the best thing a man could ask for!" Kunikidas eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"Whatever, where's my notebook?"

"..."

Safe to say he researched every word Dazai told him of. Poor thing, his whole face would be redder than Lucy's hair. At least now he understood why she walked away so awkwardly...

✩°｡⋆⸜ ✮₊˚⊹♡✩°｡⋆⸜ ✮₊˚⊹♡✩°｡⋆⸜ ✮₊˚⊹♡✩°｡⋆⸜ ✮₊˚⊹♡

I found listening honkai star rail background music while I write makes it easier for some reason. Idk, it's some find if magic shit

It felt so weird to write something not x reader

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celestial-fucker · 8 months ago

Note

I got a silly prompt. Lucifier and Alastor are having their snarky banter that turns into a cook off

YES OMFG

That would be so silly I love it lol. I hope this suffices

Pls be aware that I don’t have a beta and I haven’t really looked over this for mistakes due to not really having the time to. Constructive criticism is appreciated!

This is part one at words. I honestly wasn’t expecting it to be this long, but hopefully part two will be shorter. (Fingers crossed, at least)

Here’s the fic:

Tw for intrusive thoughts (though that may be in part 2, I’m not sure if it’s in part 1) and swearing

It was one of the rare days in the Pride Ring where the weather had decided that snow was a thing. Obviously, due to it being Hell, it meant that the only time a demon could actually enjoy the snow was when it had mostly melted away and the weather was thirty plus degrees celsius the next day. This left only a few hours in the morning of snow before it would all be gone in the afternoon, and the residents of the Hazbin Hotel were taking full advantage of what time they had left.

It was early morning, and none of them had had breakfast yet, but they were all having fun, and that was what really mattered to Charlie, and therefore it also mattered to Lucifer.

Everyone was throwing snowballs at each other, apart from Alastor. He was just watching on the sidelines with his creepy smile, and not even joining in! What was the fun in just watching people pelt snowballs at one another? But he probably liked watching just for that reason, the sadistic fuck. He probably got off at watching people hurt each other, though this hardly counted as that. There was probably still a sadistic reason for him not joining in, though. The snow was fun! And so was playing with his daughter! The last time Lucifer had a snowball fight was when Charlie was really young and he and Lilith were still together and it was a day like this! She was so small then, he couldn’t believe how much she’d grown.

The last time he’d had a proper snowball fight like this was back in the garden of Eden, and it had been like it was now, with Lucifer panting and laughing and sneaking up behind people to then fly up and dump snow square on their heads before cackling and flying away, snowballs being thrown at him by others in retaliation. If anything, it was after the snow that sucked. Alastor was really missing out. Maybe Lucifer should make him join in on the fun.

Before he could follow through with that thought, a snowball landed square in the middle of his face. Once it had gone away, it revealed Angel Dust, one of his daughter’s friends.

He had an apologetic look on his face. “Sorry, your majesty, but the opportunity was right there.”

Lucifer smiled, and then laughed. “It’s fine! In fact…”

He then appeared directly behind and above Angel, and threw a snowball into the back of his neck.

“…I think karma was in order!” He laughed as Angel screamed, because he was also smiling, and when the spider demon jokingly glared at him, he stuck his tongue out.

“Damn, what wouldn’t I let that tongue do to me?”

Wait, what?!

Lucifer felt himself try to process what Angel had just said to him, when Charlie raised her arms and called out for everyone to head inside. Lucifer noticed snowflakes were beginning to fall, which meant that they had only a few minutes to get inside. It didn’t usually snow twice in a row in this area of Hell, but it wasn’t impossible, just extremely rare.

And so everyone went inside, and Lucifer made the water and residue snow disappear from his body. When he looked up, he realised everyone else was still wet and staring at him as Alastor handed everyone a fluffy towel. Lucifer awkwardly chucked. “Oops,” he said, and waved his hand. Everyone was dried within an instant.

Radio static noises made Alastor’s irritance known.

“Right, then!” Lucifer awkwardly tried to reduce the tension in the room. “I’ll go and make us all some breakfast! How does pizza sound?”

He was really craving pizza, and if anyone disagreed, he would have to go to his room and cry. Yeah, it was one of those days.

“I was thinking of some jambalaya,” said Alastor.

“Jambalaya for breakfast?” Lucifer felt his face contort to display his disgust.

“Well, it’s nearing lunch time! I was thinking of it being along the lines of brunch, rather than breakfast.”

It was almost ten in the morning! But then again, once everything was cooked, it would be closer to lunch time…

“…It’s still very weird to have jambalaya for lunch.”

“I would think that it would be weirder to have pizza for breakfast!” Lucifer then purposefully failed to mention the many mornings he’d eat leftover pizza from the night before as breakfast when he replied.

“Alright- you know what? I’m going to make my pizza, and you can make your jambalaya, and then everyone’s happy!”

He didn’t realise he had risen his voice until it was too late, and he ducked his head and felt his face begin to burn.

“Well, how about a cook off?” Lucifer glanced up to see it was Angel Dust who’d spoken.

“You know what? That’s a great idea!” He heard his daughter’s voice and couldn’t help but feel his heart become full with all the love and affection he had for her. “I don’t think I’ll participate, mostly because I still need to finalise some paperwork for the hotel, but if anyone else wants to join-”

“I was thinking it could just be between them two. It’ll make things more interesting. You get me?”

“I don’t think that’s really-” Vaggie was cut off.

“I’ll do it,” Alastor said, and Lucifer glared at him.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Alastor,” Charlie sweetly said.

“No, no, it’s fine, Char-Char,” Lucifer said, “I’ll make pizza for you. Is anyone here lactose intolerant or anything?”

When no-one raised their hand, Lucifer looked at Alastor.

The motherfucker was slowly putting his hand up.

“What are you allergic to?” Lucifer asked, annoyed.

“Gluten,” said the evil version of the Cheshire cat.

“Okay! I’ll make a gluten-free one and a regular one! How does that sound?” Nobody disagreed, but nobody spoke up, either.

After a moment of the awkward silence had passed, Angel spoke up. “I’ll watch over them. Make sure they don’t get into trouble.”

“Absolutely not!” Lucifer’s eyebrows rose at Maggie’s tone. “I’m going to supervise them, and you can join me, but you better not be actively encouraging their actions.”

“You’re saying actions because you don’t want daddy Lucifer to be mad at the words you use.” Angel Dust once again made Lucifer contemplate his existence. “But I also wouldn’t actually want them to fight- I’m just craving pizza, but Alastor’s jambalaya is something to give up fucking for. Do you know how serious I am? I would give up fucking for Alastor’s jambalaya. It’s a win-win situation, sweetheart.”

Lucifer watched as Maggie’s face twisted. “Please don’t call me that.”

Angel Dust looked regretful. “Shit, sorry. I didn’t realise it made you feel so uncomfortable.”

Lucifer smiled at how Charlie was almost squealing with how happy she was that they remembered their lessons about boundaries.

Maggie was still clearly uncomfortable, but seemed less so. “It’s okay. Just don’t do it again.”

Angel Dust gave her a thumbs up with his two top hands.

“Right, then,” the radio prick intervened. Lucifer scowled. “I suppose we best get to it, your majesty! It would be terrible if we were to serve our lovely princess and the others later than what is strictly necessary!”

Anger and annoyance flooded their way through Lucifer, making his blood boil like the sulphuric lakes that he fell into when he was cast out of Heaven and the garden with his love ex-wife.

Now he was thinking about Lilith. Fucking great. Why was it that Alastor was making him think about her?

Bitch.

Lucifer gritted his teeth as Maggie agreed. He followed Alastor, Maggie and Angel as they went into the kitchen.

“So then, what will it be, your highness?” He made Lucifer want to kill himself. Or Alastor. He was honestly debating on killing them both, and he would have if it didn’t remind him of Romeo and Juliet as much as it fucking did, for some unknown reason, or make Charlie unhappy.

“I’ll get my ingredients myself, thank you,”

Alastor’s sharp grin was mocking him as he went around and gathered the ingredients.

Then he realised the flour he needed was on the top shelf.

Shit.

He looked towards Alastor, who was staring at him with a predatory grin. Lucifer glared at him and let all of his wings free, and flew up to the top shelf, smacking one of his wings into Alastor as he flew upwards. Grabbing the gluten-free flour, he grinned triumphantly, and flew back down. Alastor was out of reach, sadly.

He gathered all of the ingredients on the side counter and started working.

“Taking your time, your majesty?” Alastor’s grating voice forced Lucifer to take a quick deep breath.

He put on a fake, snarky smile as he turned to look up at the demon. “Unlike you, I like to make sure everything’s in-date and done thoroughly before putting everything together.”

“Well, I wouldn’t call that dough perfection, but if the shoe fits.” Lucifer didn’t look at the wet lump of dough as he added more flour and continued to glare at Alastor. “Oh my, you should certainly try smiling some time. That sour look on your face may affect the dough!”

Wait, fuck, was Alastor flirting with him in his own sick, twisted, cannibalistic-serial-killer way? Lucifer felt like he might puke if he was.

“I think you should try not smiling for the first time in your afterlife. I bet your face muscles must be in so much pain. Or maybe you should shut your pie hole instead. I bet everyone would be grateful.”

“But, your highness!” Alastor replied with that smug, bastard shit-eating grin never leaving his face. “Why must you be so cruel to a lowly citizen such as myself? I could be cursed, for all you know! It would be terribly uncivilised to mock someone who can’t help their certain attributes.”

Lucifer didn’t realise how hard he had been kneading the dough. He flipped it over, and continued to let out his barely-restrained anger.

“Although I do appreciate the concern, I have to say the manner that you’re going about expressing it is far from savoury!” Lucifer might punch him for all the food puns he was making.

“Will you just fucking-”

“Hey!” Maggie yelled over them both, and Lucifer looked at her like a deer in headlights. No, wait, that was Alastor. Lucifer was more like… well, he didn’t know what the snake equivalent of ‘deer in headlights’ was, actually. “Alastor, stop antagonising him.”

“Oh, don’t be such a spoil-sport,” Alastor rolled his eyes, and Lucifer frowned at the blatant disrespect to his daughter’s girlfriend. “We were just having a bit of fun, lighthearted banter!”

Scowling, Lucifer crossed his arms. He then realised what he had done, and uncrossed them before getting rid of any lingering dough and flour on his clothes. Glancing at Angel Dust, he realised the spider demon was eating popcorn, which- fair. Lucifer would have done the same.

“It doesn’t matter. Look, just stop it before I have to go and get Charlie.”

Sharp static noises were heard by Lucifer, coming from Alastor. “Fine,” the radio demon replied.

Lucifer turned away and stopped kneading the dough, lest he overdid it. He then rolled and adjusted it, before putting on the basic toppings of tomato sauce mixed with tomato paste, and then placed a decent amount of cheese on top of that.

He put it in the oven, and set the timer for fifteen minutes.

Then he got to work on the next pizza. He used regular flour, and once the first pizza was done, he brought it out and put the temperature in status so it would still be hot when served.

He felt Alastor’s eyes bore into him while he got on, but since the radio demon didn’t do much else, he couldn’t do anything about it. He couldn’t let him get on his nerves. For Charlie.

He hoped she still liked pizza. Oh god, what if she didn’t? What if she hates it and doesn’t want anything to do with him because of his terrible memory of what she liked and didn’t like?

Preparing the toppings and putting them in different plates and bowls, he didn’t notice Alastor behind him.

“Lost in thought, your majesty?” Alastor said right next to his ear. Lucifer turned around immediately, but before he could respond, Alastor had gone over to the oven and pulled out his jambalaya.

It smelled delicious.

Worry clawed its way inside of Lucifer. Alastor had apparently done two batches. He wondered what that was about.

Oh, wait, jambalaya was sometimes spicy, right? Maybe he did spicy and non-spicy versions. That would make a lot of sense.

The timer pinged just as Lucifer had finished with doing the olives.

He took out the second pizza, and placed it next to the gluten-free one. He then marked the one with gluten with a small notch on the side by using a knife.

“Are you ready, your highness?” Lucifer turned around to see Alastor holding two bowls full of jambalaya, and Nifty holding what looked like a bowl of salad.

“Yes, I am,” Lucifer replied. He picked up both of his pizzas.

The trio went to the table, which was already made, and set their respective dishes down.

Lucifer turned to get the toppings for his pizzas, only to see Angel Dust and Maggie walk through the kitchen door carrying them.

He gave them both a genuine smile. “Thank you!”

He laughed awkwardly as they smiled back.

Just as the pair set them down on the table, the rest of the residents came in and sat down.

“This looks so good!” Charlie exclaimed, and Lucifer beamed.

He only sat down once everyone else had, but then he realised that he’d forgotten to tell everyone which pizza was which.

“That one is gluten free, and that one is regular,” Lucifer said, pointing to the one without the notch and then the one with. “They should taste the same.”

“Thank you, dad! These look delicious!” Charlie exclaimed. Lucifer blushed a bit as everyone around him told both him and Alastor how delicious it all looked.

“And I should warn you all that the bowl near Charlie is not spicy, whereas the one in front of Husker is full of it!” A twinge of annoyance made Lucifer grit his teeth together slightly as the radio-fucker spoke.

Bon appetit, Lucifer thought, glaring daggers into Alastor.

He took a bite of his pizza as everyone around him dissolved into chatter. He never let his eyes linger away from the radio demon for too long. He didn’t trust him. He most likely never would.

But Charlie did. He didn’t know why, but that was all that mattered to him.

Part two isn’t out yet, but I’ll update when it is!

#Lucifer does not know that Alastor is aroace #hazbin hotel #hazbin lucifer #hazbin alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #lucifer hazbin hotel #aroace alastor #Alastor is not flirting I don’t think he even knows the meaning of the word #but I think he’d let Lucifer interpret it as that as long as it angers him lmao #food puns #if you couldn’t tell #I don’t really cook #much less pizza from scratch or jambalaya #but I have done pizza before at least once #so that’s why it’s in Lucifer’s pov #tw intrusive thoughts #I mean he has depression so #tw swearing

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