#they really liked the self-ish album

[devilish-parrot]

i was recomending will wood songs to my friend with mini descriptions of each song and for yes to err is human so dont be one, i described it as vill vood vants to suck your blood so now we cant stop saying that

vill vood, will wood’s evil russian brother

[walterdecourceys]

honestly i do quite prefer will wood's newer sound (the normal album onward). will wood and the tapeworms is still good but it's not really to my taste in the same way... i find there's too much noise sometimes (which is the point but i don't enjoy that as much). that said i do prefer everything is a lot over self-ish

[theswedishpajas]

Do you have any songs that you like and recommend? Related to Beetlejuice or not! 🪲 🧃 🎶

Ooooo!!!!!!!!!!

I’m gonna preface this by saying that I like to listen to a lot of random music with varying degrees of adult content and if you’re a minor or not comfortable with that stuff, please don’t take my recommendations at face value and keep yourself safe and happy. A lot of the music I listen to gets really vulgar and dark and often touch on very existential or crude topics as those are the things my brain latches onto due to my own mental health.

I have so much music I really enjoy but it’s so hard to pin it down cus I either love every song from one band/artist almost equally (and extremely much) or I love random specific songs but to a lesser degree…!

I’m a really big fan of Will Wood in general, prolly my alltime favorite artist!! I don’t even really know an album I would recommend tho as all of them are so very different!!!

It’s kinda on a spectrum of depression and unhinged to somewhat okay and pretty calm, with his first album being on the unhinged&depression side and then in order until his latest album they slowly become more calm and healthier but still sorta struggling? That’s how I think I’d describe his music!!

The topics in the songs are very existencial a lot and get really dark so that’s something to look out for if that’s not gonna work out for you tho!!!!!

For a beginner listener I guess I might recommend the Self-Ish album, mainly because that’s the first album by him that I listened to, but also cus it’s really energetic and fun in it’s existencialism, it’s just kinda crazy more than anything else-!

Other than that…

*flips through youtube real quick to see what I like cus my memory doesn’t work right*

OH OF COURSE

Now, my taste in music is kinda fucked up-

But I’ll give a (much smaller than expected) list of songs (ESPECIALLY WITH THE MUSIC VIDEO) that I really enjoy for that exact reason:

Bring Me All Of Your Teeth by Hot Dad

O b l i v i o n by Ctrl Ult Delete

I am realizing I don’t wanna call songs I like fucked up without them being very specific cus idk what’s normal or not and I don’t want anybody to think a song they like is weird in a bad way or anything but I feel like these two are okay to call kinda fucked up!!! (Affectionate)

UHHHHHH

Man, I really don’t have any good grasp on anything I enjoy at all unless it’s a special interest???

I’d be happy to share the playlists I listen to the most if anybody wants to listen to them cus idk what else I’d actively recommend???

[apricior]

ron, sparrow, scary!!!

ron: do you have any secret talents?

hm i'm not sure actually! does bowling count? i've never lost a game of bowling (<-has played a total of three times) and i'm also pretty good at air hockey so! those might be it sajfhlasf

sparrow: what’s your favorite animal?

deer and possums and pigeons <3333 honestly i really love birds especially tiny birds i want to kiss their heads and also i fucking love moths they're so cool. and cats. cats are just big babies

scary: what’s your favorite song?

my favorite song is (and has been since i was 11) brielle by sky sailing it just brings me so much comfort and reminds me of simpler times <3

and then i have other favorite songs but they keep changing, right now i would also say (trying not to repeat artists) blackboxwarrior - okultra by will wood, the sharpest lives by mcr and lost in the cosmos by the mechanisms!

[arundolyn]

....huh!

[rinnstars]

being yours!

let him be useful to you

itoshi rin x reader: yandere ish?, angst on rin’s part, not proofread + likes n reblogs are really appreciated!

he’s used to be being left behind - its a common occurrence for someone that’s used to being silenced to fit in, from being left out of class discussions, to being left behind by friends and eventually even his own brother that swore to be with him until the end of time. and sometimes, despite your reassurance and love that he doesn’t once doubt, he thinks you’ll be better off without him - you’re much more talkative and extroverted, youre friends with everyone else that he has probably never talked to, youre much brighter than he is. and sometimes, he thinks youre truly better off without him - you’ll get to have lunches with all your friends rather than sit around beside him in the empty classroom eating, you’ll get to go home early without waiting for his football practice to end, you’ll no longer have to deal with a bother like him that rather dulls the mood.

so he’ll make up for his subpar personality he feels, make up for the way he self-destructs and leaves you on read on hard days, make up for the way he can’t be the picture-perfect boyfriend that he knows you adore from your collection of love mangas in your room or from korean and chinese dramas you talk to him about. he’ll settle for being useful to you, after all people wont throw away things that are useful to them right? he knows you wont - you keep our digicam despite its battery issues simply because its still usable to take photos of you and him, you keep your old and flat heat pads because you can still use them when your stomach hurts a little too much, you keep your old water bottle despite the few times it leaks. and sometimes he wonders if you keep him around because you like the sentimentality of your relationship, after all you’ve been with him since you two were kids the same way you keep your old photo albums and toys and textbooks because you can’t bear to throw away because of the memories. he hopes you keep him around because he’s useful - he’ll carry your heavy bag to and from school, even in between classes, he’ll help you queue up for lunch letting you rest about and talk to your friends in the meantime, he’ll pick off the ingredients you don’t like off your food with his hands carefully without any flaws. he hopes he’ll be useful to you - he’ll be the tissue to wipe away your tears either with his lips or with his hands, he’ll be the heat warmer that recently stopped working whenever your hand or legs grow cold by embracing you with his warm self, he’ll be the sweet treat for you, transferring candies hidden in his mouth in yours as he merges yours and his lips into one. he wants all of him to be useful to you - his hands will carry and hold any burden that’s too much for you, whether emotional or physical, he wants his legs to carry you without a single stumble to not make you doubt yourself as he carries you as though youre a royalty in a horse carriage to wherever you want to, he wants his eyes to help you find items you keep dropping and missing whether that be pieces of papers, hair ties, or even house keys.

and he’ll work hard to be your pride and joy - be the best striker in the world, be better than anyone else, be the best infatuation you’ve ever had. he wants your attention on him no matter what - please don’t look away from him, not even for a second. he thinks you just might be the sun to his chloroplast-like body, his sole reason that he’s still breathing if only for you. and maybe its stupid, its childish to want you to look at him, even if its simply because he’s helping you out - he craves it. so use him, milk him for all he’s worth and keep your eyes on him - he wont ask for anything more. because that means even if you fall out of love one day, even if the look in your eyes is becoming less and less infatuated, even if you no longer feel this same burning fire that will consume him, you’ll stay with him - the same way you still keep pens that no longer have inks, notebooks that have run out of empty pages, earphones that no longer connect properly to your phone for the memories.

but for now, when that school bell rings, he’ll without fail walk up to your desk, pack your things with you and carry your bag for you just to see you beam at him like an angel with that look full of love he knows he’s already addicted to.

[psilliguykai]

Consistent art style who?? [/silly]

Anyways uhh yeah it’s done!! Woo! Thank you so much @bluestarlett for the art request this was such an honor aaahdhfrjkrsndnn !!! Saturn is so cool wuagh ….

Yapping + flat colors version under the cut :]

I had so so much fun to work on this - any excuse to incorporate music, especially will wood and especially the Self-iSH aesthetic is a good one heheheee :D

The patterns on the border are edited but ripped straight from the Self-iSH album cover so credit to Will Wood for that ! Song featured in the background is The Song With Five Names by Will Wood and The Tapeworms. Thought this section would fit well since Sushine and all that jazz :3

Sorry I had to stray from the original design a bit - admittedly I know Saturn’s arms aren’t symmetrical but I couldn’t really make it work with the tools/skills I had on hand :( [also I’m soso sorry for forgetting their lapel pin- I don’t have a good reason I just forgot about it I’m so sorry 😭]

This was great rendering practice for me since I like. Never render lol- it definitely could be better but I’m fairly happy with how it turned out :D

Un-rendered version, mostly to show off the colors n patterns on the arms [inspired by the Self-iSH album cover]:

[directdogman]

do you listen to Will Wood?

>If yes, what is your favorite song/album?

>If no, this is a sign

oh yeah, big time.

for will wood, there's a lot of his songs i like. Skeleton Appreciation Day, Willard and Self + Ish are favourites.

I answered this recently enough in another ask, so I'll add a bit so it's not just the same: Willard in particular is interesting bc it reminds me a LOT of the character of God in DT, including stuff the audience doesn't necessarily know yet. Like, almost every line works. When I heard the song and had the thought, I was kinda floored and had to send my notes to a collaborator. It genuinely felt tailor made to the character when I first heard it, though the similarities are obviously just a coincidence.

Esp all the Socrates mentions. God is directly mentioned in-game to have once been Diogenes of Sinope, the Greek philosopher, who REALLY looked up to Socrates and followed his teachings. Also fits really well with Plato's Cave, which was written as a Socratic dialogue and roughly sums up God's specific and eldritch kind of loneliness.

"You might seem behind bars, but friend, this cage is inside out"

Is pretty much also what enc0unter says, with God being one of the few NPCS who's definitely aware of it.

Yeah. I can't go too in depth without spoiling character deets, but man. It fits really well.

[snrland]

Tell me the story tell me the story tell me the story tell me the story tell me the story tell me the story tell me the story tell me the story tell me the story tell me the story tell me the story tell me the story tell me the story tell me the story tell me the story tell me the story tell me the story tell me the story tell me the story tell me the story tell me the story tell me the story tell me the story tell me the story tell me the story t

I’m putting together a playlist of albums that get my brain thinking about my characters and creating new scenes and subplots using the lyrics (i’m not internally creative so i have to outsource that shit)

so far I have:

Hometown Odyssey - Livingston (this is my #1 favorite album to listen to when i’m feeling storybrained)

Wild World - Bastille

Wars In A Wonderland - Neoni

Badlands - Halsey

Waking Up - OneRepublic

I thought about adding Lungs - FATM and Atlas: Space - SAL, but I’m bad at understanding metaphors so they just weren’t working for me

I’m taking suggestions for more albums to add to this playlist

[evilyodastwistedworldofevilness]

Ermm...What the flip is a "Will Wood?"

Awhile ago I made a Will Wood LEGO set in the program Studio 2.0 based off his album "In Case I make it," and just never posted it anywhere. Contains a bunch of references to his songs, his albums, those tapeworms that he has, stuff he has worked on with other people, etc. Some of the character's are based off preexisting stuff while others is more original I guess. Still not the best with captions cuz I got nothing else lmao

More photos below!!!

Some dark lighting here. This is how it's supposed to look but when I showed this to my friend they said the images were too dark and like fair it is pretty dark so I made a bunch of more renders but with brighter lighting so you can see better

Ahh! so bright!! so so bright!!!

I'd probably make some changes to this like changing the designs of some of the figures and maybe add other designs but I don't got it in me to rerender everything so oh well it is what it is lol

Can you guess the references? First person to name all of them wins a photo of a scary monster!!!! ahhhh!!!! so scary!!!!!!!!!

Okay here's the answers lol

I feel like i complained a lot in the caption of this post but I actually do love how this came out and I really enjoyed doing all the fancy posing for all the figures and I really want to do more stuff like that

(and I already did get ready I got more of this stuff lmao)

For a lot of the character's I had trouble finding good parts that actually matched with the design so some of them are just real wonky looking. Part of me sorta wishes I made an original design for SELF-ISH but at the same time I think just having the actual art from the cover being placed on top of a LEGO dude is really funny.

like look at this shit lmao

I'm probably going to make a followup to this post showing off like the 800 wip renders I did of this anyways follow for 800 reblogs of random ass shit and NOTHING ELSE

[v0idhaert]

scott smajor with number 7 for your spotify asks?

omg anon sorry it took me so long to get to this, but here: Scott smajor with number 7, Ghost of You by My Chemical Romance!

textless and bgless under cut, as well as really long ramble caption vvvvvvv

I hope this is alright! If nothing else, I’m so so proud of drawing hair braiding, that took. So. Long. lol, anyway yeah I also really like how Scott’s hair came out, and I’ve never made a third life Jimmy design before so I came up with this on the fly and I really like how it looks. But yeah, I saw which song it was and thought of them immediately, Scott was so distraught at Jimmy’s death in third life, (prepare for ramble that is mildly unintelligible if you are not really geeky about MCR lore lol. The main stuff you need to understand is that mcr has four albums, I Brought You My Bullets You Brought Me Your Love, Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge, The Black Parade, and Danger Days: The True Lives of The Fabulous Killjoys, and all of them have a lot of lore) like they are so demolition lovers coded, especially because of the whole back from the dead thing where Jimmy is alive and well in later seasons but Scott is still grieving him and the memory thing with winners remembering which means Scott remembers third life and Jimmy doesn’t, reminds me of like (from my understanding of the story, which is different from other peoples because MCR lore is very vague) the inner turmoil of the lover from the three cheers lore who went to hell, and his lover is in heaven and on one hand he wants to reunite but on the other he knows his lover doesn’t even know he’s alive (-ish. Not sure how much his situation qualifies as “living”) and feels guilty, thinking that she probably won’t even want to see him again, because he’s killed so many people and he doesn’t want to ruin her paradise (I mean she misses him too and wants to see him again but he doesn’t know that, and also he rightly recognizes that he is an actual sociopath. I’m not saying c!Scott is crazy (well, as not-crazy as you can be in life series death games. Everyone is at least a little bit off their rocker. Woah, parentheses within parentheses, what is this!?), but I am saying the guy demolition lover absolutely is. I am also saying that c!Scott has self worth issues. At least in my headcannons. I also have a similar headcannon for Joel. Maybe that’s why they hate each other, their mad that they can’t sacrifice themselves for each other and then decided a murderous rivalry was the only option/j ) but yeah so the torturing themselves over a lover who is both dead for them and also at the same time alive and well but unreachable and in a better place than them and wanting to be with them but holding back for fear of hurting them which ends up hurting them anyway (which is also a theme in the black parade, so ig you could also kinda compare Scott to The Patient, but patient always felt more Joel or Pearl coded to me. Also yes I know I already made a post about smalletho demo lovers au, but idk I can have both smalletho and flower husbands demo lovers I just like projecting my interests onto,,,,also my interests ig lol) is something Scott and the sinner demolition lover have in common. Also this song makes me cry. So much. Could barely even draw this through the tears lol/silly, and I’m exaggerating but less than you’d think. Unfortunately I am a crier. I also cry at Summertime from danger days, pretty much all of three cheers but especially I never told you what I do for a living, demolition lovers from bullets (btw for non MCR fans these are album and song names. Also the demo lover’s story starts in bullets with the song titled for them, and then is continued in three cheers for sweet revenge) as well as I don’t love you, wttbp, the end, mama, and famous last words from black parade. And those are just the MCR songs, not counting all the other sad songs from other bands. I am a CRIER lol. But yeah, thank you sm for the ask anon I really enjoyed drawing this!

[alxor-of-hellsite]

maybe i just like really need a hug. like a really good & long hug. that could help my sorrows. HAHA NOPE BLASTING WILL WOOD SELF-ISH ALBUM!!

[iri-desky]

Hey so I HAVE THOUGHTS on the new All In Till Cover art. Kinda DUMB thoughts maybe... but I wanna get them out there.

In most Album Cover Till art so far, Till's symbol color is deeper teal it's closer to green than blue, but definitely still teal.

However, in the All-In Cover, Till is fully green.

Inconsistencies like this aren't really coincidental in a show like Alien Stage.

Anyway, in the cover art, Till also is wearing a tanktop and has red tape over his name branding on his neck, obviously in rebellion to the aliens. He still looks older. In a way, it almost looks like an evolved version of his current self that we last saw in Round 6.

All-In was sung by Hyuna, a member of the rebellion for humans, with the song itself being about taking your life for yours. It's basically a song about taking control of your life, pretty appropriate for Hyuna and the rebellion as a whole, and obviously, Till too (hence why a lot of people have been anticipating this utterly fire cover). The difference between him and her is that Hyuna is actually in the rebellion. Till isn't.

Or is he?

Back to the colors thing. Till used to be a blue-ish teal, but here is green. What colors do you have to mix to get green? Blue and yellow.

You know who's yellow?

Luka.

We're getting ready to see Till go against Luka in the next round.

So, here's the point; Luka will change Till fundamentally in some way that will lead to his eventual rebellion arc and him getting back his spark somehow, joining the rebellion. This song will finally completely fit Till once he gets through Luka and similarly his own reservations. Till needs to escape the past and push forward, and Luka's manipulation might be the final straw for him to snap, like Mizi.

[mildlyannoyingtheaterkid]

Self-ish, Will Wood

Jesus Christ, this album is so fucking powerful. Every song somehow intertwines with one another. One common theme is the 'Hand me my shovel, I'm going in!' chorus in the two songs leading up to it. The repetitive nature of this really built it all up, and I LOVE how the chorus of every song works with one another. They all have a common sound.

Another theme in this album is mental illness. Capgrass syndrome is a rare mental illness that leads you to think that a loved one or friend is an imposter. Cotards syndrome is another name for "walking corpse syndrome". This is yet another rare disorder in which the patient believes they are dead or not existing, and are (hence the name) a walking corpse. There is many more references in the other titles of his songs that I could get into but If you're really curious you can look them up.

Those two songs I mentioned both relate to the illness.

Mr Capgrass: "Damn, I thought you're not your imposter!" "somebody to replace yourself" etc.

At the beginning of Cotards Solution (live) on The Real Will Wood album, Will introduces the song as "This is a song written by a dead guy."

Among these, the album also delves into a lot of religion. 'Give me that old time religion' in Song with five names and part of the name of the song itself 'Checkmate Atheists!" In 2012, a variety of different religions are mentioned. "My dreams were shattered like a stained glass window, Jesus in Pieces! I believe I threw a brick right through Him" in 'Hand me my shovel' etc.

This is personally my favorite album. The songs hold so much meaning and the whole thing is so fleshed out. I could make this essay go on for 10 pages if I wanted to, but I'll save you the time. I didn't even mention Dr Sunshine is dead.

[eternal-kosmo-ghoul]

*°:⋆ₓₒ day 11. aphrodisiacs

.｡❅*⋆⍋*∞*｡ “picture perfect”

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ — ❤︎ ivy was not expecting this little christmas get together to get all.. steamy.. but now he has you all to himself

pairing: iv (ivy) x gn!reader

a/n: he’s a slut and i want him

cw: nsfw content. aphrodisiac. there are aphrodisiacs laced in the drinks. dubcon-ish. both parties are affected by the aphrodisiacs. intense foreplay.

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“fuck what are you doing to me…? get over here. now.” —❤︎

┅✦┅

the nighttime bar was bustling with life. it was filled with a variety of many different people, having a good old time and using the night to unwind and just relax, drowning themselves in the rave of chaotic excitement.

christmas was a time for joy, but of course, there were always party animals that wanted to wallow their emotions into the empty sweetness of elicit liquor and frosted sugar pastries that the fancy, rich distilleries had to offer.

that’s where ivy found himself tonight.

accompanied by his lonesome self, he idly twirled a shot glass in his hand, watching the rich drink in the cup swirl around against the glass, keeping his fingers on the rim of it. ivy wasn’t so sure why he came here in the first place, especially on christmas evening of all days, where the party was high and people were rowdy. the guitarist wasn’t much of a party person to begin with anyways. but, his band mates wanted to come here to celebrate another successful year as a musical group, and of course, he couldn’t say no.

still, he’d much rather be home at the moment.

“still by yourself, ivy?”

that familiar voice snapped him out of his trance. ivy’s gaze lingered to your form, and he just let out a heavy sigh.

“you know i prefer to be away from the crowds.” ivy sighed, sipping a little bit of alcohol from his glass. “but i can’t say no to vessel. that big oaf he is.”

you chuckled and took a seat next to ivy, keeping your hands on your lap as you spoke to your fellow member, deciding to distance yourself away from the crowds for now.

“that’s sweet of you, vy. but really, you didn’t have to come out here if you don’t like parties.”

“nah, it’s the least i can do. i love you guys too much to say no to you.”

your heart warmed at the sound of ivy’s words. he was always so intricate and precise with his wording. he meant every sentence of that.

“thanks, ivy.” you thanked with a genuine smile.

underneath his mask, he smiled back. “anytime, y/n.”

you wished that ivy would show this sensitive, soft side to himself more often. it was really a beautiful sight, really. to see someone who’s usually super stoic, be all caring and watchful for those he loves. it was quite nice.

the two of you exchanged small talk for a bit, just talking about your most recent tour and how you’re both excited to get to work on the new albums and eps that vessel had planned for the next year. it was going to be one hell of a year to remember, that’s for sure. ivy was surprisingly a very pleasant person to talk to. he always had different topics to bring into the conversation, and he was just an easy person to chat with.

though, as the two of your exchanged pleasantries, sharing a couple of laughs here and there, the bartender slipped you both two alcoholic drinks in fancy cups. both of you raised your eyebrows at this, considering you did not order another drink, aside from the casual shots.

“sir? we didn’t order this.” you tried to correct, but the bartender only gave a coy smile.

“don’t worry, it’s on the house.” he winked. “consider it a … special holiday drink.”

you and ivy couldn’t even get another word in, because the bartender went off to do his work, serving other clients and customers that came in. the guitarist just side-eyed the bartender for a bit, before taking the time to observe the drink he was given. it was clearly alcoholic, and the rim of the class seemed to be lined with crystallized sugar. the actual liquor itself seemed to dawn a sunset-pinkish shade, with red and purple swirled into the liquid. ivy couldn’t tell what kind of alcohol it was, but he had guessed it to be some sort of vodka, mixed with another unknown drink.

ivy eyed the glass suspiciously. the drink looked pretty… almost too pretty for it to be just some casual alcoholic drink. though, his curiosity was piqued, and his mind wondered how the taste would pop in his mouth.

“strange… that guy was kind of weird, giving us a drink like that out of nowhere.” he chided, still holding his suspicions high as he observed the glass.

“yeah… but i haven’t had a good drink in a while.” you said with a curious voice, tilting your head as you brought the rim of the glass closer to your lips.

the two of you shared a look for a moment, thinking the exact same thing.

“how about it?” you asked. ivy pondered for a moment, before nodding.

“why not?”

the two of your clanked your glasses together, before downing the drink in one go. it tasted sweet, some of the crystallized sugars finding its way into ivy’s mouth and sizzling into a sugary delicateness that bursted with flavor. it tasted sweet… very sweet. ivy actually found the taste to be warm.. but that warmth went from his throat, to his stomach. slowly, it started to simmer into an uncomfortable warmth.

that warmth flowed throughout ivy’s body, and it soon become an itching hotness that clung to his skin. the guitarist’s eyes widened from the sudden feeling, and he could immediately feel himself sweating. he started to fan himself by flapping his shirt, trying to relieve himself of the uncomfortable heat that clung to his body like a parasite.

“what the hell…?” ivy practically panted out, trying to find a way to make himself feel better. “what the hell was in that drink?”

you nodded, arms heavily pressed against the bar counter as you groaned and panted, sweat beads sticking to your forehead. you were having the same problem as ivy.

“i don’t know… but i sure as hell feel so damn uncomfortable right now.” you gasped out, running a hand through your hair as you tried to maintain your composure.

ivy was about to agree with you, turning his head to meet your gaze, but the moment he locked eyes with you, its like the fire burned within him more brightly. he suddenly felt… needy, and just looking at you was enough to send his mind into overdrive. he was practically drooling over your form, aroused by the very sight of you alone.

what?

what was ivy thinking? why was he thinking this way? and why couldn’t he stop…?

“y/n…” he practically growled out. his hands moved to grip your shoulders, and you gasped from the sudden closeness. “stop that…”

your voice was quivering, and you leaned back against the bar counter. the surrounding people didn’t even matter anymore, it’s like it was just the two of you.

“stop what?” you practically stuttered out, feeling a familiar burning hot desire brew within you as you looked at ivy.

“that.” he rasped. “looking so damn… appetizing.”

you looked at ivy with wide, yet lustrous eyes. at this point, you both came to realize what had happened. the drinks you were given were laced with aphrodisiacs, of course they were. however, ivy couldn’t stop himself from what he was doing.

“fuck what are you doing to me…? get over here. now.”

his fingers fumbled with the buttons of your shirt, and he slowly unbuttoned them while kissing your neck, not even caring about the people around you guys. besides, they were too focused on partying to see what you two were doing. you let out soft sighs of pleasure, but tried to snap back into your senses, trying to push ivy away despite your growing lust.

you gasped as you felt ivy start to bite and nibble your neck with his teeth, and his fingers trace over the exposed skin on where he unbuttoned your shirt. this was so provocative and risky, doing this out in public. you couldn’t even think straight, with how your mind was hazy with promiscuous desires, and ivy was only feeding into your fantasies.

“ivy…” you muttered our lustfully, moaning a bit loudly as he kissed your neck, jawline and face with deep, needy kisses.

“i need you.” he grunted. “i need you so badly. this heat, it’s so fucking uncomfortable. please… please let me touch you.. i promise i’ll make you feel good.”

ivy’s voice was desperate, almost like he was in pain. the aphrodisiacs that bastard gave him was making him so incredibly horny and hard. he couldn’t stop kissing you, trying to feel your skin on his.

fuck. you needed this too.

with a heavy sigh, you nodded, looking down at him with hearts in your pupils. “please take me.”

that was all the confirmation ivy needed, before he swept you away into a dark, secluded corner of the bar, away from the party.

from there, he could give you the fuck of a lifetime.

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[theboyzism]

[ATEEZ] friends with benefits | hongjoong

➳ genre: smut/suggestive, very light angst-ish? (minors dni!) ➳ ficstyle: bulletpoints ➳ pairing: fwb! hongjoong x reader (gn) ➳ warnings: friends with benefits relationship, very slight smut, masturbation, jealousy, hint of angst pls let me know if there are any missing!

HOW IT STARTED

you two had met at the birthday party of a mutual friend

you two hit it off immediately, growing to be really good and close friends

hongjoong always took extremely good care of you and was always there when you needed him

but more importantly, he was the person who would always boost your confidence and made you feel comfortable with who you are

that was something you loved the most about him

after a rough breakup where your hear was left shattered, hongjoong was the one who put the pieces back together, restoring your confidence and self love

he truly was your rock

one day you were staring at your phone, waiting for hongjoong to text you back about the plans you had made for later

the lack of reply showed you that he was probably busy, after all he was working on a new album

so you headed to the nearest convenience store, grabbing a few of his favorite snacks, and made your way to the company

when you ran into eden, who told you to just head to studio where hongjoong is in, you didn't expect anything out of the ordinary to happen

like usual, you knocked at the door before swinging the door open

you never waited for hongjoong to tell you to come in, he had assured you in the beginning you don't need to

but this time you really wish you did

hongjoongs face was flushed

his hands quickly pulling his pants back up in an attempt to hide the fact that he was just masturbating

for a moment both of you were silent, hongjoong desperately attempting to control his breaths taking over the whole room

maybe it was the fact that the slight glimpse and thought of hongjoong masturbating made you feel a certain way

maybe you were just sexually frustrated

but both of you were taken by surprise when you finally broke the silence

"i can help you with that if you want"

HOW IT WENT

you never laid down any rules

or had an official friends with benefits talk

usually you two would hook up after hanging out

sometimes, when he was especially frustrated, he would text you begging to come to the studio

he would experiment a lot with you and try different kinks as long as you were comfortable with it

would always give you the sweetest aftercare

it may be just because hongjoong cares about you a lot

but the way he cared made you feel things you haven't really felt before

he would be a little more protective than usual

and makes sure you're closer to him at all times as well

the members wouldn't even pick up on it tbh

hongjoong was always protective of you, so they didn't really notice any change

you did though

and so it went on for months

HOW IT ENDED

your friend had the ridiculous idea to set you up on a blind date

when you told hongjoong about it, laughing, you were taking back by surprise due to his serious reply

"i think you should go, give it a try"

was the last thing you expected him to say given his possessiveness and your whole situation

he didn't say any more than that, so you changed the subject

what you didn't notice is how hongjoong had to swallow his pain to get out that one sentence

that one little lie

just because he didn't want to hold you back by being with an idol who could not always give you the proper attention a boyfriend should always give

hongjoong distanced himself from you after that

too consumed in his feelings

you didn't realize why you were so hurt by this sentence until a few days later

when you visited him at a shoot

instead of his usual possessiveness he didn't give you any attention at all

not even when yunho was trying to turn your frown upside down

in your mind, he was too focused on his stylist to even bother looking at you

in his mind however, this is what he needed to do to control himself

and he needed to finally let you go

you were growing more and more jealous just watching hongjoong with the stylist

something that had never bothered you before

ah shit, then it hit you

you fell in love with him

and before you could get your act together, his full name had fallen of your lips, drawing the attention of everyone in close proximity

when you sat down in one of the empty dressing rooms with him, you told him your feelings

and despite his cold look, his heart was doing flips in joy, but also breaking at the same time while he had to rethink everything

would breaking your heart really be better than telling you the truth?

that he simply could not be in a relationship unless you were okay with the burden that comes with dating him?

didn't you deserve someone better?

"we should stop whatever this is" was all he had to say

and he knew he was being cruel

not even looking at you

but seeing your upset and pained face would hurt even more, he needed to go through with this

questions were racing through your mind

did he mean to stop your whole friendship?

were your feelings not serious to him?

you know you fucked up

falling in love with your friend with benefits is not what you should do

but hongjoong wasn't the type to blame anyone for their feelings

you were unsure what to say

wanting to end this conversation as quickly as possible

so you simply nodded and left

everything was unclear for you

you were left with a broken heart and so many unanswered questions

he hadn't made any effort to contact you after this

should you contact him first?

thinking back to where it all started, did you offer your help because deep down you already loved him?

but it didn't matter

because your broken heart that hongjoong had put back together, was now shattered again