#they popped the fuck off

[lonesome-pear]

I love when women

[flower-seller]

So per Salem’s request, I was asked to share a snippet of my own from our Lord Arcanine battle rp because that shit was insane GEHDBDND God I loved every bit of it though, it was so hype I will not lie.

For the context a bit, Volo was with another ginkgo at the time of the battle breaking out (Salem’s oc Kanata we love Kanata so much in this house) but the poor kid kinda got dragged into the battlefield just a bit. With Euph having just kicked the Lord directly in the face, this is Volo’s reaction and subsequent actions that really threw this particular fight for a loop

While this isn’t exactly the most “just some guy” post, I feel it does showcase a little bit of his quirks here and there. There is another snippet I’d love to post from this particular rp as well but perhaps in another post sometime (I’m too shy for this BSBDBJDJD)

Volo and Kanata ran as fast as they could, Volo’s hand a vice grip of fear around the boy’s wrists as the clear sounds of battle raged just ahead.

Please please please—

Volo needed her to be ok. He wasn’t gone long. He wasn’t gone long, but he had left her. He wouldn’t forgive himself for that. The wall came into view, and right as they approached it, Volo heard the gut wrenching wail chill the air around him.

“Fuck!”

He was only gone a second!

Volo shoved past the wall, and his eye widened. Euphorbia had thrown herself into the lord’s jaws. His heart stopped completely, terror filling him, freezing him solid even as Kanata crashed into him from behind. The seconds felt like hours, watching her twist her form around so cleanly, so practiced…

She… Kicked the lord.

He could hear the impact from his position, and watched in awe at the incredible power Euphorbia displayed in that one swift blow. He watched the way her hair flowed behind her like a crashing wave against the raging inferno. The fierce expression she wore, that of pure fury to rival even the frenzy of the lord himself. He watched as she landed it skillfully. He watched her body heave from the exertion, her chest rising and falling with counted breaths.

“Volo!” Kanata shook the elder ginkgo by the arm, snapping him out of whatever momentary daze had overcome him, “You’ve got a plan, right?!”

… Plan.

“I-I…,” He hadn’t thought of one. But he opened his mouth as if to speak regardless. What came out wasn’t what he’d planned to say either.

“EUPHORBIA!” Volo screamed suddenly, watching in horror as she was tossed into the air, fire raking up her arm. He had no plan, but he didn’t need one. He was already moving, darting forward with one hand locked around Kanata, and the other reaching into his pocket. Volo pulled out a pokeball and threw it forward. He jumped up, dragging the younger merchant into the air with him.

“RrraaAAAH!” Exploding from the blinding light, Volo’s own Arcanine burst from her pokeball. His clawed hand grasped her mane tightly, landing upon her back as she surged ahead at an incredible speed.

“Holy SHIT!” Kanata gasped as he was pulled onto the sudden mount. He clung to Volo’s back as if he were the other man’s pack itself. They rushed up the side of the volcano itself, his Arcanine pushing off of the crater’s lip to leap into the air after Euphorbia. Volo released his hold of the canine’s mane to reach for Euphorbia herself.

He caught her in his arms, and clung to her tightly as they landed with an earth shaking impact of their own. For only a second was Volo able to hold Euphorbia close to himself before he, with a shuddering gasp of his own, passed her into the arms of Kanata. Arcanine lowered herself as Volo let the boy off upon the plateau.

“Get her to safety. I’ll keep the lord occupied,” Volo announced with determination himself. Without another word to the boy, he tugged at his pokemon’s mane and the pair bolted back to the fight below.

“Arcanine! Rockslide!” He commanded as they ran down the mountain’s side. His loyal companion barked in acknowledgement, her own paws slamming down against the volcano with even more force than before as she thrashed about herself. She stirred the loose rocks from the land, willing them into rolling down alongside her. The pair rapidly approached the arena once more, and Volo released his hold of his pokemon, allowing himself to fall back off of her as she rushed ahead like a boulder herself.

Volo hit the rocky ground unceremoniously, the wind rushing from his lungs as his back made contact. He didn’t let that stop him though as he quickly flipped over and pushed up off of the ground in time to watch as his arcanine crashed into the lord for a solid and rumbling impact, followed by a pelting of large rocks. The two dogs fell into the lava, sending up a big splash up in their corner.

“Twolo! Get Chamerion out of here!” He pleaded in a half wheeze. A hand already clutching his chest. The little jolteon stared at Volo for only a second before he was racing off towards the knocked out little fire type. The eeveelution grabbed Chamerion by the scruff and was quick to run the way Volo had come from now that the path had been cleared.

Volo pushed off of the ground, panting himself for a moment before he removed his hat and tossed it aside. He wasn’t fucking around this time.

[knockknockwhosthereartistism]

The worst trauma comes from those who you love

[lotus-pear]

lore accurate double black battle scene

[teaboot]

Kinda gotta admire the tiktok instagram cottagecore tradwife hoes a little bit.

Like. THEY know that the perfect pretty obedient natural-makeup gently-coiffed rural June Cleaver, barefoot-and-pregnant in a sweet little peasant dress, baking fresh bread24-7 housewife doesn't exist.

They KNOW she doesn't exist. They know she CAN'T exist- that nobody can maintain that façade without burning out eventually-

but they also know that the political divide between men and women is deeper than ever in North America, that men as a demographic are getting increasingly angry and conservative and lonely (fuck off terfs and radfems i can sense your bioessentialism coming), and that women aren't legally beholden to them anymore.

This is one of the first generations in North America where women aren't entirely reliant on finding a husband and keeping him happy to survive, to hold a bank account or live apart from their parents, and so what men are dealing with is several hundred years of being told that REAL men have hot fuckable agreeable wives and...a present reality where nobody is lining up to apply for that position.

So what these shills have done- and they ARE shills- is that they've seen that divide, that niche that isn't being filled, that role that's so unpleasant but so desired- and they've constructed a caricature for profit.

Women aren't naturally more gentle, or parental, or submissive. Women aren't naturally, effortlessly smooth and soft and hairless and desiring of simple tasks to fill their time and a big, strong provider to protect them.

But generations of marketing and media have told us it's POSSIBLE, if not for those pesky man-hating feminist libs and their oversensitive woke culture lashing out at Normal Folks for no good reason.

Like- they're selling themselves, the characters they're playing, as an IMAGE, as a FANTASY, and they rely on people BELIEVING in that fantasy to keep the money rolling in.

The people who buy into it sincerely, the women who give up their degrees and careers and financial freedom for this "simple, peaceful life" we ALL desire in some form, away from stress and technology and horrible things on the news... only to get trapped with six children and a partner with all the power who could up and strand them at any moment... they're just collateral.

Like, "Shame it didn't work out for you, have you tried losing weight and trying harder? Maybe some extra Adult Time? He wouldn't have to chase someone younger and prettier if you'd just take care of yourself and put out more."

I on't hate this faux-humble faux-simple wannabe-amish bullshit just because I grew up rural and know it's fucking stupid, hard work and blood and shit and cow piss and placement in the rain kinda crap.

I ALSO hate it because these women are straight-up class traitors, selling off not just their own image as people, but everyone else's, just to make some paper on a grift.

You know Marie Antoinette used to wear sweet little milkmaid-style dresses and play with lambs in the field, just like the poors?

Never mind that she OWNED the land, and the field, and the people, the cute little frocks, and didn't help the sheep birth, or bury the dead premies, or slaughter for meat, or fight off wolves and dogs, ferrets and foxes and rats with a stick in the winter.

It was just fashionable to pretend.

Sweet and coquettish and Quaint.

THAT is why I hate that shit, and THAT is why I give a fuck.

[cr3eks]

[gleafer]

Remember when you were a kid and sang 🎶 mama had a baby and its head popped off🎶 while popping dandelion flowers off their stems?

Yeah.

That’s how Jimbriel saves us all.

Another Metatron merk!

[connorsok]

before I played Disco Elysium, I thought Harry du Bois was a co-worker in the precinct you work at and, reading about him being such a fucked up guy, I was literally planning on avoiding him as much as possible in my playthrough... colour me surprised when I found the badge and found out the main character's name

[popppyfur]

EDIT: someone wrote a fic based off of this and im holding you all at gun point to read it rn

i did noooottt mean for this to be as long as it is lmao!! I LOVE THESE PINK BITCHES !!!!!

and their. questionable father

[sugarcoatednightshade]

thinking about how Humans Are Space Orcs stories always talk about how indestructible humans are, our endurance, our ability to withstand common poisons, etc. and thats all well and good, its really fun to read, but it gets repetitive after a while because we aren't all like that.

And that got me thinking about why this trope is so common in the first place, and the conclusion I came to is actually kind of obvious if you think about it. Not everyone is allowed to go into space. This is true now, with the number of physical restrictions placed on astronauts (including height limits), but I imagine it's just as strict in some imaginary future where humans are first coming into contact with alien species. Because in that case there will definitely be military personnel alongside any possible diplomatic parties.

And I imagine that all interactions aliens have ever had up until this point have been with trained personnel. Even basic military troops conform to this standard, to some degree. So aliens meet us and they're shocked and horrified to discover that we have no obvious weaknesses, we're all either crazy smart or crazy strong (still always a little crazy, academia and war will do that to you), and not only that but we like, literally all the same height so there's no way to tell any of us apart.

And Humans Are Death Worlders stories spread throughout the galaxy. Years or decades or centuries of interspecies suspicion and hostilities preventing any alien from setting foot/claw/limb/appendage/etc. on Earth until slowly more beings are allowed to come through. And not just diplomats who keep to government buildings, but tourists. Exchange students. Temporary visitors granted permission to go wherever they please, so they go out in search of 'real terran culture' and what do they find?

Humans with innate heart defects that prevent them from drinking caffeine. Humans with chronic pain and chronic fatigue who lack the boundless endurance humans are supposedly famous for. Humans too tall or too short or too fat to be allowed into space. Humans who are so scared of the world they need to take pills just to function. Humans with IBS who can't stand spicy foods, capsaicin really is poison to them. Lactose intolerance and celiac disease, my god all the autoimmune disorders out there, humans who struggle to function because their own bodies fight them. Humans who bruise easily and take too long to heal. Humans who sustained one too many concussions and now struggle to talk and read and write. Humans who've had strokes. Humans who were born unable to talk or hear or speak, and humans who through some accident lost that ability later.

Aliens visit Earth, and do you know what they find? Humanity, in all its wholeness.

[shima-draws]

Just got back from seeing Sonic 3 and HOOOOOOLY SHIT y’all. Oh my fucking god. OH my god. Ohhhh my g o d

[stormte]

In a sky full of stars, I think I see you

Just finished this piece in under 5 hours because of @somerandomdudelmao ‘s series. I’ve had this planned out for months, I just never got around to painting it until now. If you can’t make it out, the silhouette is Mikey with Leo’s jar next to him from a couple issues ago.

[psqqa]

yes, yes i know edgeworth’s big wet eyes and loser boy personality have captivated us all, but listen. listen.

phoenix wright

phoenix “genuinely unable to reconcile the girl on the stand with the girl he dated for eight months, a cognitive dissonance so profound it’s ultimately explained by them being literally two different people, but which he first sits with for five years and does not talk about at any point to anyone” wright

phoenix “don’t mention that name to me. i don’t want to talk about it. i don’t want to think about it. i am just going to keep myself in this state of perpetual crisis mode focus on other people’s problems until eventually i die and get to hang out with mia on the astral plane and never have to deal with any of these emotions ever again” wright

phoenix “overnight loses his career and reputation and sense of identity while gaining an adopted, probably pretty traumatized eight-year-old daughter, and rather than leaning on his friends for help, or getting therapy, or taking any time to process any of this, he *checks notes* spends seven years dedicating all his free time and energy to investigating the weird fucking circumstances around it and maintains a friendship with the guy he suspects was behind it all” wright

phoenix "runs across a burning bridge and falls through it, half a day after the game establishes that he is terrified of heights, because his friend is on the other side of that bridge" wright

phoenix “i sure felt surprised. maybe i had my poker face on” wright

phoenix “looking back on it that was actually a pretty dark period in my life” wright

phoenix “don’t ask me how i got started. i don’t remember” wright

phoenix “only you stood still, your eyes calmly watching” wright

phoenix “sometimes, life just sucks” wright

just

phoenix wright

crunchiest man in the world

and all i wanna do is chew and chew and chew on him

[evilkaeya]

skk au where they actually develop telepathy but it happens after Dazai leaves and during the four years they don't see each other. Chuuya is washing dishes one night and Dazai's voice pops up in his head. "I wonder what the slug is doing right now? Judging by the time maybe he's washing dishes." Chuuya goes still, mouth hung open and goes "yeah I am mackerel." He hears a "what the fuck" ten seconds later.

[rotating-hyperfixations]

Do yall ever think Shauna talked about Jackie and Callie had the unfortunate realization that her mother was in love with her dead best friend, and worse doesn’t know it and thinks they were just normal besties. Or did she inherit her mothers’ obliviousness.

[iiraae]

bax-man

hehe i like this guy . he is quite Charming or whatev

full piece below the cut ♡

is he putting the tie on or taking it off ? idk:3