#they never let me know
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I genuinely don't know what's wrongn with me. I'm trying to fogure this our. First I thought I was wronged and now I feel ashamed of my horrible luck with people. People who call themseves my friends all seem to have out of sight out of mind attitude with me.
Noone in rela life seems to remeber I exist. If it's not me trying to organize a meetup – they don't text me, they don't ask me to their houses or to have a coffee on a weekend. And if it is me tugging on them and suggesting things – in most cases they are Busy even if I text a month in advance or they are hanging out with Better Friends.
It's not even about getting set up for a date anymore. I'm genuinely freaking out that I'm secretly a horrible person that noone wants me unless it's work-related where most my acquaintances these days come from.
Is it me not being on social media? Is it me not being able to give them my insta where they could comment on my photo of a coffee I'm getting? Is it me being opinionated?
I'm doing fucking everything I ever heard as an advice on being personable charming agreeable people-person. I notice their interests, I smile and give compliments and give praise when warranted and make sure all proper people get proper credit for their achievements, I recommend things I know about and am curious about things they can recommend, I've had one person not believe me saying I'm a lonely introvert, I look at baby pictures and congratulate people sincerely on getting their house or having their wedding, I have colleague who shares stories about her teenager kids and I listen and I offer advice and symathy. I'm fat and have been fat as a child so I had to be a clown to be accepted so I can make people cry with my jokes and I know it's not faked and it doesn't matter.
And yet none of those people want me elsewhere. Even if we have each other on whatsapp and with some we are even in group chats, but if it's not me tugging and timidly asking if they'd like to go somewhere sometime, maybe check out that new coffee place – it's radio silence. I try to start a concersation on how Someone is – I get an answer that they're fine, busy, and nothing else, not even a question back, no details, no offer to discuss over a drink or even have a bloody phone call just to chat away.
Noone tugs on me, noone asks me out, noone wants to make plans, noone wants me at their houses or in their existing friend groups, noone even sends any memes or anything. Nothing that I was told would happen if I learned to make friends.
I don't understand what is so horrible about me or what am I doing wrong or not enough of. Do I need an instagram account to be considered easier to reach or what? What is the secret that I'm missing?
#and yes i do openly express my enthusiasm#oh you do rock climbing? i've never tried it but can I tag along sometime to try it?#or you're throwing axes today? well maybe next time i can come to try? let me know!#they never let me know#you go on walks on weekends? wish we could go now that the weather is nice. let me know if you want some company#i haven't been hiking since summer camp! sounds so fun I'd love to check out that track you've found!#when you're going to a play next time - let me know i love thatre#and nothing nothing nothing#tumblr mutuals from 749394737 miles away will send me a post at least once every few weeks#i don't get it#i'm willing to work hard and break myself into pieces and put myself back into a different person#i effectively did that at the start of my 20s#but it doesn't work#nothing works#i've smiled my face into hurting and it works just as good as my resting bitch face#what is the science behind it#someone tell me the steps and i'll take them#i'm going insane from loneliness and shame
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also deciding to make stuff that 12 year old me would have wanted to draw
#i dont even care im never escaping the sexyman enjoyer allegations#cringe is dead let me draw the sexyman this is literally tumblr#gravity falls#bill cipher#dipper pines#mabel pines#i have more but i gotta go back to work so maybe ill post it tmr who knows
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Dungeon Meshi, or as I like to call it, Marcille's-increasingly-difficult-to-ignore-revelations-that-her-endless-devotion-to-Falin-may-in-fact-be-more-rooted-in-lesbianism-than-she-originally-thought
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon spoilers#dunmeshi#dunmeshi spoilers#farcille#marcille donato#falin touden#falin x marcille#let's go lesbians let's gooooooo!!!!#listen I fully respect those who ship farcille starting from their school days it is very good#but I find it FAR funnier to think that Marcille does not realize her feelings are super not-platonic actually until WAY late lmao#let's pretend i can draw#I. genuinely don't know if this needs a mature label or any cws or not. I never draw anything that normally toes that territory lmaoooo#tumblr please don't get mad at me if I tagged this wrong!!! T_T
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I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them
People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human
“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”
“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”
“Yeah!!”
“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”
“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“
“How illogical”
“That’s what I’m saying!!!”
#star trek#Vulcans#Humans#not based on a specific thing#but I used to know this annoying couple that were ‘family friends’#who would show up to potluck dinners and the like and would either bring nothing or bring something really just. out of left field?#like a bag of frozen chicken to a bbq#and then proceed to make sure they are first even if it was stated to let kids go first#would take HUGE amounts before anyone else got a chance to get a plate#and then make off with the leftovers again even if they were already claimed for#and it wasn’t a food insecurity thing trust me I would never speak bad about a person getting food if that was even a remote chance#the adults who raised us knew them really well and we’d been to their house a ton of times#they were just dicks#and yeah. they’d occasionally insult the food. while eating the MAJORITY of it.#it was so weird at their home they would go out of their way to get the healthiest options possible#you know the really bland tasteless expensive stuff that apparently was healthier#but then if they were visiting our house they would. eat all our unhealthy snacks.#that always pissed me off so much as a kid because we actually had a food insecurity thing going on#and also a variety of other reasons that are a bit too depressing to bring up on this post#but anyways we’d hardly ever get to have nice snacks#and this couple would just take them all??? even after we’d tell them repeatedly that it was ours and those snacks weren’t gonna be#replaced#hated that couple#if you’re wondering why they were ‘family friends’ it’s because the couple who raised us#(it feels weird to type it out like that but apparently legal guardians doesn’t fit since they never finished petitioning 💀)#liked having them around because it made them look like ‘such great Christian’s’ being nice to the people#that no one else wanted to be friends with#I always thought that was a really weird and fucked up reason to be friends with someone#this got long sorry 😭
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aang haters are so insane cause you’re literally hating on happiness personified????????
he is literally just a guy
who is five apples tall
and needs his sleep
#idk if yall know this but he is my child#that’s family right there#my own flesh and blood#atla#avatar the last airbender#aang#avatar aang#best character in the show let’s be real#aang they could never make me hate you
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Empurata!Prowl tries to actually communicate for the first time
What if he wants to say something but he can’t. What if he has no voice to speak, no face to emote, no hands to write. What if every attempt to communicate a message is essentially a puzzle of wit and creativity and yet, the first thing he goes through all these troubles for. Is to say “I love you”?
Don’t ask me how did they get in this room. I have no idea. They escaped the battlefield somehow haha
Next->
#maccadam#transformers#prowl#jazz#jazzprowl#empurata prowl#at first I thought hmmm well the guy like Prowl would probably say something practical#but then I realised that there isn’t anything more practical for him than feelings right now#because that one statement implies SO much. you know what I mean#it won’t let Jazz know if Prowl has his whole memory and personality and everything back#but it would let him know that hey#hey I feel. I feel and I’m being me enough to feel that I love you#the cold and logical shadowplayed machine would never start with this
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We didn't even get an answer, and we never will (at least it's not determination)
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#deltarune#undertale#utdr#crossover comic#undertale fanart#deltarune fanart#art#twin runes#twin runes comic#kris dreemurr#frisk#chara#ralsei#aaaaah chara is slowly figuring out what they are#are you onto it too?#but I'm with susie let's get on with the story already!#for those who haven't picked up on it#this comic and the last one are poking fun at the whole “what does the red soul represent” debate in the fandom#especially under the last comic i've seen people viciously arguing with one another on other platforms#or people from both camps yelling at me#fact is we know that every human soul has determination due to the log entries in the true lab and the amalgamates#some humans just can have more and others less of it#that is what chara is pointing out about kris specifically#they have a red soul but less determination than most humans#the comic ends on a non-answer because unless we get toby's word on it we will never know what it is#and that is kinda a toby fox move#we will never get his answer#all we can do is theorize#personally I like to think it's love#especially in the context of this comic series
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last one i promise(<—lie)
#let’s as a society think more about why adrien wanted to go to school#and what. perhaps. he thought school was#i think the way chloe describes it she really is just a beautiful rich girl with too much time on her hands#and no one at school is treating her accordingly.#abby got so mad at me today because she thinks it’s too cringe that i keep taking about adrien liking ohshc#which is like. how are you gonna know me my whole life and then be disappointed when i’m cringe.#i’ve never hidden who i am. it’s cringe all the way down#anyway#ml#my art#miraculous ladybug#adrien agreste#chloe bourgeois#ohshc#wait i am gonna tag this thirteen actually. just go with me#thirteen
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Hug
It's nearly impossible to have a quiet and peaceful day with the crew, like the strawhats. Nami is mostly used to the noise on Going Merry but one day she gets fed up with Zoro and Sanji arguing. Not only are they extremely loud, but they've also already broken way too many things during their fights.
She decides that If they want to act like brats, then she's going to treat them as such. So she makes them apologize and hug each other in silence for an hour. None of them are happy about this punishment, but Nami threatened to raise Zoro's debt, and Sanji couldn't say no to her. It could be worse.
It's awkward enough for them to not incite any fight for a long time and Nami is quite proud of herself. She knows it won't last forever but at least now she knows how to handle them. It inevitably happens again. And again. And again.
Much to her surprise, those fights became more and more frequent. And what's even weirder is that she could see the way both Zoro and Sanji occasionally glanced at her to make sure she was nearby. It's almost as if they wanted someone to make them hug each other. As if they needed an excuse.... these idiots.
Soon, they don't even need Nami's help. When they aren't busy training, cooking or fighting, they cuddle together. Sometimes Luffy or Chopper would join them, but most of the crew knew it was their time.
After two years spent separately, they became extremely clingy. It's no surprise when they start sleeping in the same bed. What is surprising is that despite them behaving like a lovey-dovey couple, those oblivious idiots are STILL unaware of each other's feelings.
#It's almost 3 am and I'm a little tired#I really hope that what I wrote here is somewhat coherent#It's another idea that's been stuck in my head#I wanted to make a comic about this but I never have the time#so for now all I can give you are these notes and a quick sketch#and as always if there's already a fic like that please let me know I would love to check it out#sanji x zoro#sanji#roronoa zoro#zosan#one piece
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Drew this real quick because I fucking love these two so much ???? Especially Bee. I wish they interacted more so badly. PLEASE.
Also learning how to draw these guys.. slowly.
#IT WILL NEVER NOT BE FUNNY TO ME HOW DELIGHTED B GOT ??? FOR VIOLENCE?#the brainrotsreal's art tag ✧˖°:*♡#like okay you have d17/megatron okay#d17 got consumed by vengeance. iconic of him. you SEE him grow more ruthless/ violent........AND THEN YOU HAVE B 127#he got knife hands for 0.00937 seconds and immediately KILLED PEOPLE SO EASILY IM SCREAMING SDJKJSDS#did by accident and then did it gleefully. AND SO WELL TOO LIKE ???? bro got that hunger for violence ig. got that delight.#i wish we got to see d17 and b127 interact more cause imagine b got his knife hands early and d17 was like.... alright start stabbing#and b127 is LONELY. mf is deprived of interaction and CLEARLY clingy. i see him telling d17 to stand down so he isn't hurt.#not necessarily because he has the SAME morals as orion/optimus#like look me in my eye. tell me if d17 didn't say something like “needing an ally not a leader” (friendship bait)#AND UR TELLING ME BEE WOULDN'T FOLD AND HELP HIM? HM? HMMMMMMMM?#like i feel like b's morals are mostly match whoever he's around. if he was around d-17 more? WELP? let's assassinate together bestie!#anyways optimus and elita gotta watch b fr cause mf is already an incredible ally on the battle field SDKJKDSS#like just tell him where to go and that place would DESTROYED. NO WITNESSEES LEFT. LIKE HELLO#transformers one my beloved#d 16#megatron#tf one#tf one megatron#tf one b 127#b 127#transformers one fanart#never know how many actual tags to use istg.#imagine being isolated for years and all that shit went down like what is going on in b's brain rn. mf got 3 friends and then lost one#SO QUICKLY
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how ive been feeling the past couple of days. i have no shame
#also if i misunderstood or missed any details on my mini analysis PLEASE LET ME KNOW#i love her sm you can never make me hate you uzi doorman#murder drones#uzi doorman#murder drones uzi#ALSO IM WORKING ON ART TRUST I TAKE SO LONG TO DRAW sigh...#stbc rambles
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some epilogue vibes (an excuse to draw some hugs. and my durge so many times)
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#wyll#karlach#astarion#shadowheart#lae'zel#minsc#jaheira#durge#oc: noon#anyway as said attempting to tag late game stuff more just in case#spoilers in the tags also bc i'm gonna ramble lol ->#i'mm😔having played embrace durge for most of the game all the sweetness punched me in the face (affectionate) like girllllll lol😔😭<3#tho let wyll be hugged damnit >:(#(i wonder if they added wyll hug in the new patch? doubts i don't trust like that but huge if they did)#also idk why minsc got that ending lmao. i didn't even know there were diff outcomes just found out looking for his ref for this pic LOL#i helped nine fingers and the guild helped in the endfight?? idk what happened but godspeed my guy#also loved jaheira's ''good to see you please for the love of gods remember to never have kids''#minsc in the bg: ''i'm getting executed tomorrow💯💪''#also i didn't even know why karlach glowed blue then looked it up like oh😭😔🥺 ohhhhh
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sometimes you gotta lure your overly-studious ravenclaw gf into spending time with you 🥰 📚 ( from 'Every Teardrop is a Waterfall' by Kat_12739 on ao3, GO READ IT!!! the first story is about seb falling sick and still pushing himself/not admitting he's sick until he ends up in the hospital, the second story is about the birth of seb and clora's daughter and seb's reaction to clora almost dying in childbirth, and the third is about dealing with a fussy newborn lewis😭🥹THEY'RE SO GOOD AND SWEET AND SOMEWHAT SAD (not to mention beautifully written) so go check it out!!💖💖 )
#READ SO I CAN YAP TO SOMEONE ABOUT THEM🙏😩💘#the seb sickfic made me realize how much i needed barely functioning and sick seb (but him still trying to be tough)#theres also a part that cracked me up bc at one point seb is so sick he cant even see straight but he just thinks to himself:#eh its fine.... ill just ask ominis how HE functions without vision later🤷 LMFAO#so stubborn...JUST LET CLORA TAKE CARE OF YOU MFER🤺🤺🤺#defs gonna be drawing more from it especially sick seb LMAO but also seb having a tea party with celeste🥹🥹#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian x mc#hogwarts legacy fanfiction#sebastian sallow fanfiction#hphl#choccyart#also i was never planning on writing anything about clora giving birth or abt the kids so to be able to read it WAS AMAZING#THERES A PART WHERE SEB IS HOLDING CELESTE AND CRYING AT CLORAS BEDSIDE THAT I NEED TO DRAW😭😭#LIKE SRSLY seb being conflicted and not even wanting to HOLD celeste bc he doesnt know if clora is alive or not... IT WAS SO SAD BUT GOOD#i honestly dont know what seb would do if clora died in childbirth tbh.......i could honestly see him resenting celeste#esp since she looks so much like clora😭😭#LETS JUST NOT THINK ABOUT IT!😃👍#(still thinking about it)#like this line in the fic: “Sebastian hesitated; if this was Clora’s last gift to him he wasn’t sure he wanted it.”#😭😭😭ITS SO GOOD UGHHHHH😭 TY AGAIN FOR WRITING THESE💖IM SO TOUCHEDDD💖💖
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Basically what's happening, right?
#i know im late but let me enjoy#titanic#russia#stock market#supernatural#destiel#spn#never thought i would come back to this but#10k#my friend made me do this
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Oh wow I didnt know chapter 249 already leaked lol
#LET ME DREEEEAMMMMM#i'd kill for shoko to appear the airport#omg i know gege will never do this because gege hates shoko but liiiiiisteeeeeennnn#i want them three to be happy together once more#shoko ieiri#satoru gojo#suguru geto#sashisu#jjk manga#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#what if#fanart#IPMSSA_Shoko!Fanart#IPMSSA_Panels#IPMSSA_SaShiSu!Fanart#IPMSSA_canon!Fixit
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really? right in front of my karaage?
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more windbreaker comics
#im ngl this scene cracked me TF up when i rewatched it#umemiyas talking to choji but right as he says this specific phrase he looks STRAIGHT AT SAKURA#almost as if he's flexing like “hey hey sakura. hey. did u know. id never lose. winks. isnt that hot of me. isnt that cool. are u smitten”#like dude you met this kid just YESTERDAY and youre immediately letting him decide the other teams punishment and giving special treatment#damn bro i know hes a cutie cat but CHILL OUt#(i say as if episode one sakura didnt have me on my fucking KNEES)#anyways thats enough out of me onto tags winks#umesaku#umsk#wind breaker#wbk#wind breaker comics#comics#thecmart#hajime umemiya#haruka sakura#ive had this in my wips for a while now but the latest wbk chapter spurred me to finally finish it.. umsk real guys... umsk real
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