#they needed to give us something good so we all didnt just end it ig

[nazurabbit]

vivinos trying to add that small cute baby tillmizi moment near the end like we arent all collectively destroyed

[kureasblog]

Tuesdayyy🧪🩼

First of all the car ride with my father wasn’t that bad and we didn’t even fight so it was good.

Is soon as I arrived I saw a friend who I love so much who is just glowing and authentic and she has that “I don’t give a fuck about other peoples opinion” mindset, that I really admire. She’s really an inspiration for me.

we had math which was fun and philosophy-boring asf. sorry but it’s the way my teacher is istg.

then we had physics, i hate our current chapter. at the end of the hour he gave us back our chemistry exams and i got a GREAT GRADEEE😙 (half of the class has below average) i literally took my face in my hands and said something so loud like « OMG YES » (kinda awkward) and when i left the class i was SMI-LING. the teacher said like ‘nice to see a smile on ur face’ does that mean ur calling me depressed??💀 i mean tbh im not doing well recently but i didnt know it was THAT noticeable god. i mean he s so sweet n really care about his students + im a special needs student (« handicapped ») so ig he kinda looks out for me.

then we had biology, nothing much. i was sitting just in front of L. it’d be cool if he was in front, i could kinda glance at him but if he is behind me i just feel anxious and overthink everything i do and im like ‘how do i look from the back’ ‘is my bun looking dumb’ ‘what if i have acne on my back’. Like girllll who cares. he’s human, so r you. relax. but i just CANT focus on the lesson. And when i looked behind he was manspreading (guilty of finding it lowkey hot) and talking abt how he failed his test.. (too badd for youuuuu personally i did NOT🤭)(yes yes i like him but i prefer being the best)

then we had lunch with friends (some bitches annoyed me but whatever) glanced at 🚪 M but he never fff notices me, then we went to study at the library (i got YELLED at for chatting when it’s supposed to be a quiet place when every body else was talking but i mean poor lady that’s literally her only job to shush people🙁 like- i was having fun, you’re never having fun, i get it. jealousy’s though.)

Then we had spanish, it was normal. Then we had english it was soooo funnnn🤭

So like no one laughed at our English project which we wanted to be funny but ppl in our class are stuck up and probably found it cringe butttt my group couldnt stop laughing so that’s what matters hehe. they all did serious projects but just filming themselves blank staring at the camera but that’s kinda the embarrassing part to me.

- basically we had to present a project that we filmed at home in groups about a festival we’d create so we were kind of all acting (I was the economic manager xD)and the video of L’s🧪 group was so fun and they were all embarrassed to watch the video in class and they were all red -because it’s awkward to see ur own face projected on the huge screen- which was soooo funny to watch. Personally, I wasn’t really embarrassed about my own face because we didn’t film ourselves from up close but kind of like a report and the camera was moving and I was just really exaggerating my acting n giggling.

also my hair was down and even though i was all red and puffy from sweat i felt pretty.

i just wanted to keep glancing at L, i had to stop myself. also he was so cute n funny in the video istg. he just does this eyebrow raise idk how to explain it but like when he’s proud of himself whatever. whateverrrrr😽 (CUTE >:D)

so then had a break before the 2 hour exam (im in the same exam room as 🩼A’s class)

basically he’s in the same class as one of my best friends so im often in his classroom. and i was hanging out with my friend and he was revising for the exam right after- well, there. i mean it’s his classroom after all-. And there was a former classmate talking with us and i was purposely laughing so cute and doing doe eyes bcs.. bcs leave me alone. I can’t function when he’s near. I HATE HIM. And his goddman black eyes. 😞

And istg i could feel his stare in my direction. but. am i crazy? am i schizophrenic? if he was indeed looking at me, was it positively? was he judging me? was he thinking ‘why is she always here omg so annoying’? like. i know what i gotta do. whenever i feel like he is staring at me, i have to look up and check if he really is. that way i’ll be sure. after tomorrow it’s Thursday, he always glances at me on the day when im waiting in front of their classroom, so that day i’ll actually look up and see if he is staring at me. If he is, i’ll do a little squint like -dude were u staring at me???? to make him embarrassed. or. do a double check. that’s SO a hint of ´i noticed you’. Idk what to doooo

Anyway. I failed my biology exam but everybody did. tomorrow biggg study day.

[moon-mine679]

putting what he did under a cut!!

i hate this fucker. ive been angry at him still even if what he did was like alright. but anyway, i was having a bad day and didnt wanna talk to some other friends, and i was jokingly saying 'omg we should skip!!' and he was like 'fuck it my life is over' whatever ig... thats like how he normally is. BUUUT, in our entrepreneurship class, we really needed to decide something by the end of class, and he was fucking just deadpan 'fuck my life' ALL BECAUSE I SAID 'LOL WE SHOULD SKIP.' ALL BECAUSE OF THAT. anyway, he kept bugging me about it, so i just left to walk around to avoid him, and when he came back he was like 'bluds gone for the whole period', YEAH I WONDER WHY. we ended up getting an idea luckily, but that was cause my teacher came to us first. Afterwards tho, he was INSISTENT i answered if i were to skip. he was soooo fucking annoying with it, and when he figured out i skipped without him he was angry with me. why do you care???? fuck off dude.

and everything else he did: constantly would follow me and my friends. is disgusting and constantly tells me hes constantly after revenge. in entrepreneurship class, wont do jack shit. made fun of my weight and when i said i was starving myself he said 'good'. constantly brings down the mood with his suicidal feelings. and when was writing a story, CONSTANTLY complains to me about how he doesnt know what to do, but when i try to give him advice hes like 'no' (sometimes acts the same when i give him suggestions for mental help). has a crush on me only because i comfort him, doubt hed love me when im bleeding and venting like i do with everything on this blog. and he would constantly dismiss my mood and feelings in order to talk about his own (kinda what he did)

i get hes mentally ill, and i think i should be open-minded and shit, and i really am trying to be, but hes pissing me off at this point. idrk what to do :(

idk if this poll will do anything to affect my final choice, but i really just dk what to do

[trash----panda]

So

I dreamed again for the first time in awhile, and it was like a space rangers thing, and the main character was a human (imma call her Pip cause it's easier)

Imma say injury, near death, and some scary stuff ahead, just as a trigger warning

Pip was responding to a destress signal from a crashed ship. Pip encountered a native alien who was pretty friendly and started insisting they should be friends. He is rather pushy about friends and his facial language being different makes Pip uncomfortable. So she tried to ask what friend means and he claimed "i get dibs to eat you if you die" she's just kinda more disturbed and says no, trying to leave him behind. Cause she said no he kinda slinks around but keeps out of sight now. She finds the distressed ship on a beach, it's super quiet and empty which isnt a good sign cause there's not even native birds out there, like feels like the sea is even being quiet. She goes into the ship and finds ample blood, the only survivor being a shivering child in the dark. They try to coax him out but he just screams and resists, saying something about a monster. Pip turned around to check only seeing some claws breifly before they tore into her cheek, whatever it was tackled by the dude that was following her earlier (I'll call him.... Harper i can redesign Harper). Harper is holding it's arm down with his teeth but what she can make out he's telling her to run, so she grabs the kid and sprints for it, as soon as they get out there's a crash and snarl. The thing ran after them but this time she had time to activate a shield, it was focusing it's attacks on her so she at least got the child out of the situation, trying to fight back without injuring it further. It looked like Harper but smaller, they probably stumbled on a nest so she didnt want to kill it. She didnt get a chance to think of solutions as it smashed the shield, grabbing her leg in it's teeth using it's other arm to pin her chest, trying to rip it off. Harper stumbled out, getting it in a head lock, asking her to spike it (ig stab in the head) but she kept saying it's a baby she cant kill it, and he told her she should cause babies are born with more muscle mass they burn off later from lack of food to sustain it so they cant kill it, but she insisted spike it without the spike. Harper still insisted on being friends so he did as he was told and knocked it out, needing to carry her back to her ship cause her leg was mangled. He insisted on coming with so she agreed and he got elected her temporary partner. They ended up in another rescue in a collapsing mine shaft but ended up getting trapped in seperate pockets. Harper eventually found Pip but Pip was impaled through the lower abdomen, he broke down crying, i vaugely remember what he said

"do you know why i wanted to be your friend?"

Pip mumbled "cause i was the only human there?"

"no, there was the child, but he would've died sooner, you could live, i thought maybe you would be around long enough for me to know what a friend is in other's culture, so i could not be alone anymore... i thought it was a new purpose when your friends died but i dont want you to die!"

Pip kinda laughed at him, urging him closer, giving him a hug "well the indomitable human spirit wont let me"

He had no idea what that meant and kept trying to stop her from talking so she'd last longer. They some how lasted 3 days until they were found, the medics dumbfounded someone was alive with rock in their body until they found out it was a human. Harper was too panicked to help them keep her awake while they sealed the wound so they removed him. He was basically in shock and dehydrated but otherwise ok. They ended up walking him to see Pip when she was in recovery. When he asked if she was ok the reply he got was

"we get osmosians, we get glekarites, and we get heckates, but they all have a higher mortality rate then humans, the humans keep calling it the indomitable human spirit and just NOT dying, it's the weirdest thing, so if that human dies i'll give you 500 units"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then i woke up, but im assuming Pip was ok

[thegeminisage]

WELL. it is time for the final tng update (until the movies ig). last night we watched the series finale, "all good things" parts i & ii.

all good things (not differentiating parts):

my main takeaway from this episode is that they somehow managed to bring back tasha yar, only to 1. have her do absolutely nothing 2. die again?? they have killed tasha yar three times. hat trick for dead tasha yar

second takeaway: old people makeup. i couldn't find any gifs for this episode because when you go in the tag they're all just comparisons with picard the show. which IS kind of fun, admittedly. losers in the old people makeup department: riker. winners: beverly. hers was kinda hot ngl. milf.

conceptually this episode kind of fucked. like, three eras of having to be in the same place, coordinating stuff over 4D space via rapid shifting...that's cool. there was a cool episode buried in here somewhere. i think the problem was 1. it took way too long to figure out what was going on 2. the three eras in question were season 1 of tng (bad), season 7 of tng (also bad), and tng 25 bad future. i have lots to say about the bad future in a sec but let's not get distracted. because all of these eras were bad, it wasn't very exciting to be coordinating stuff across them. i TOTALLY understand the temptation to bookend the show by going back to the pilot, but the sad truth is the pilot was AWFUL. q has largely been annoying and the trial was one of his MORE annoying appearances.

on the bad future: worf and riker fighting over deanna being DEAD somehow and us not getting any more information was pretty awful, especially since they sort of seemed to be having a fight about deanna in the present-day too. i don't like them fighting over her but i REALLY thing the deanna/worf was so rushed...riker is normally so chill too, it doesn't make any sense. plus it's absolutely bonkers that picard came back and DIDNT warn deanna she had 5 years to live. come on!!!

if geordi really grew back his eyes bc of the anomaly, why are they blue in the future? they look like prosthetics or something. also can't we just give him brown eyes cmon. also, it's SICK AND DISGUSTING they married him to leah. i like geordi, but his thing w women made liking him difficult, so thanks for reminding us of his absolute WORST moment right as we're saying goodbye to him forever

someone on the aos team did not do their research. romulus was destroyed in 2387, and the last season of tng is in 2370. that means this future era took place in 2395, eight years after romulus was destroyed. it would have been such an easy thing to avoid, too. you could have simply had spock and nero travel back from 2395 instead of 2387. like it's that easy. NOTHING would have to change except a number. this isn't even tng's fault like how could they know what crimes that man would commit. this is all on him. i like the aos movies but girl what the hell

wins for the future: data crazy cat lady. and everyone gaslighting picard. and beverly being soooo hot

the problem w this future is that it doesn't say anything about anyone except "you guys drifted apart without the mission to hold you together and forgot you needed each other." actually, it didn't say that second part, though i wished it had. the episode was also a bit muddied in that respect...like, what did it episode SAY about those three eras, other than "don't stop being friends later"? what did it SAY about picard and his crew? this is the finale, and there weren't any goodbyes or big character moments for anybody except picard, who had to have his big character moment in the fucking farpoint courtroom.

we did get canon worf/deanna and picard/beverly but she TURNED HIM DOWN EARLIER and only started macking on him when she found out she might die (just in time to get herself on the will and no that's not my joke). STAY STRONG...YOU DON'T NEED HIM...beverly crusher, i could be your man.

in a final act of hilarity, at the very end, picard INVITED HIMSELF TO CARDS. while i am always thrilled for poker games, and was feeling a genuine emotion about the last scene being a poker game, the profound silence when picard showed up at the door really dragged me out of it. "you were always welcome" HE LITERALLY TRIED TO DO THIS ONCE AND YOU GUYS THOUGHT IT WAS WEIRD

oh yeah. final note. can't believe they pussied out of shearing jonathan frakes for that flashback section. they just photoshop magicked that shit. it was clever, but it was cowardly

i really wish s7 of tng had been good...we had a few good ones near the beginning but the ones near the end were ALL duds. i could have forgiven so many crimes if we had gone out on a high note. tng WAS very good sometimes. i know they had it in them. unfortunately they generally chose to be ass instead, and as a result tng went out the way it came in: in the very worst courtroom scene in the entire world. rest in pieces.

NEXT TIME: ds9's "tribunal" and "the jem'hadar."

[weirdcat1213]

ok i have an oreo on one hand and a shark plushie on the other, lets do this

trimax volume 8 (pls dont hurt me)

thoughts

BUT BEFORE THAT, ACTUAL QUESTION: how are the 1st timers holding up? yall doing good?

ok now long post is here

chap 1:

-oh that title page its SO FUCKING GOOD

-MY BOI HES HERE

-oh hes not....doing it by choice.....oh

-legato looking like a pizza pocket is the comedy relief we all need tbh

-GET HIS ASS VASH GET HIS ASSSSS

-oh my geesus i heard that, i felt that shit

-"they abuse us" and here you are knives...doing the same shit

-OH THANK GOD YOURE HERE

-could you look less happy while doing this shit knives? pls?

-something something divine punishment from the skies, something something yeah ofc not anyone can do that shit

-oh hey why is he with them i actually forgot

-aw :3 i wonder who taught him to not shoot to kill :3

-also pls leave him alone hes not just a killer pls youre hurting my feelings-

-:c

-STOP VASH DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT HOLY SHIT

-rem mention :c

-knives can you stop being right for a second, thanks

-the arm...wow

-OH YES ITS THIS MOMENT YES

-i dont remember what the other translation said but "that was the day we both lost our minds"....yeah im gonna sit with this one for a bit and cry cuz its true, they did

-oh yeah i didnt get this the 1st time lets try again :D

-ohhhhh....oh shit

-i hate siding with knives on this chapter but i cant help it. i also love the idea of being even

-also he looks so fucking cool while being evil, cool points for you knives

-"invasion" and it ends with him looking at the stars/nightsky? brilliant

chap 2:

-STOP BEING RIGHT KNIVES

-ALSO STOP DISTRACTING ME FROM WOLFWOOD TIME

-ah yes, the classic, sweetest, full of angst potential "i will remind of you of your home and how you dont belong there anymore" card, good to see you here

-oh god i forgot about this part, geesus

-ah crap i love this tho, gives you time to actually take in everything that knives is causing. its so easy to gloss over it with some quick panels but to actually take the time...i love it

-ok ik they get absorbed by knives but the idea of them flying away and being free (for a bit) is so pretty, im happy for them

-...geesus christ

-YES MY GIRLSSSSSSSSS :D

-it makes you wonder what they did to stay alive actually, like you never think of that stuff ig

chap 3:

-wait they didnt know???? hold up....yeah ig that makes sense but...hmmm

-YEAH YOU TELL THEM LUIDA >:D

-:c

-ALSO interesting how the borders didnt go black to represent a flashback, so maybe it wants to show how present is that memory in luida's mind. wow

-"maybe hes been waiting for us to come and help him" aaaand thats enough to make me tear up, im the weakest bitch on the planet let me tell you

-YES SEE LUIDA GETS IT

-GET WRECKED BY THE EXISTENCE OF GOOD PEOPLE ASSHOLE

-OH MAN HES BREAKING

-COOL ASS PANEL ALSO

-oh shit so he hit some plants oh shit oh damn

-AH SHIT

-omg she looks so epic while killing people <3

-THERE HE IS HERE WE GO YES GO GET YOUR HUSBAND

-oh look its the man in the tin can lmao

chap 4:

-KILL HIM WOLFWOOD KILL HIM

-HALF A YEAR???? damn i always forget, this is still going at the speed of light tho

-aw no :c my baby :c

-then again i like that you can see that even if it was just half a year (literally nothing for vash) it still caused him pain and suffering, 10/10

-GEESUS BRO HE JUST GOT FREE

-oh shit oh shit no

-im not really sure how he escaped legato but im glad :D also vash is longgggg i lvoe it :3

-well thats just depressing livio

-pls leave livio

-KILL HIM KILL HIMMMM

-ok but vash being basically a ragdoll rn while wolfwood is fighting and bleeding breaks my heart let me tell you

-wolfwood shut the hell up ok? shut up, i dont wanna hear it

-oh im going insane :) i hate wolfwood so much rn (his crime was to say sad things)

-OH IT WAS HERE I ACTUALLY FORGOT THIS WAS THE MOMENT AWWW HOLY SHIT MY BOY

-YES SAVE YOUR HUSBAND

-"youre not lost wolfwood" wolfwood saying all that shit outloud and IK FOR A FACT vash's heart almost broke ik it i feel it

-baby dont apologize :c

-............................................................ :c

-ah fuck hes here

-WAIT HOLY SHIT THAT LIKE SHADOW OF LIGHT???? AMAZING???

-oh oh im sick to my little stomach i fear oh geesus my boy, my baby, im so happy that wolfwood is all you need but also im so sad you dont have anything else, do i make sense?

-threatening you brother and begging him to not sacrifice himself in the same breath...knives the plant that you are

-woooooooooooooooooooooooooow i love that shit, hes so little...

-PLS GOD LET THIS BE IN STAMPEDE PLS PLS I WANT A SCENE WITH BOTH OF THEM IN THE SKY SO BAD PLSSSS

-im not entirely sure what is happening but damn thats nasty

-NO DONT FUCKING SAY THAT

chap 5:

-LMAO HIS FACE XD

-welp...this is terrible

-nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo :c

-oh righttttt, i forgot about that plan, so thats why people called him chapel

-oh that panel with livio thats fucking brutal geesus nightow. like the old livio seems so pure and far away while the current livio is so violent and present

-my god he looks like shit

-MARLONNNNNNNNNNNNN :D

-oh meryl my girl :'3 omg shes the best

-im so depressed rn :D

-idc if hes rotting, sadly the man looks majestic af

-ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh oh ok

-NO DONT LEAVE PLS DONT FUCKING LEAVE PLS NO STAY STAY STAY STAY STAY STAY STAY STAY STAY

OH SHIT THIS IS FREE BIRD OH SHIT OH NO HELP HELPPPPPPPPPPPP

free bird time ig:

-freeeee biiiiird yeaah tururururururu

-wdym congratulations cmon man

-oh honey......

-awww :c

-oh wow now im DEPRESSED :D

-ugh that fucking face

-hes so cool sometimes >:D

-aw you made her cry :c

-"tired of filling a space in other peoples lives"....hmmmm

-aw :c

I hate whats coming i fucking swear.

[just-some-random-blogger]

hello, modern!daemon nonnie's part 2 again (I'M SORRY) HFLDHNH i knew you'd written it unknowingly but outwitted?? i'm flattered. i'm just used to notice things like this. and i didn't mean that her office is literally shitty! when i was writing it i was like 'stop?? it's a museum it's not shitty.. but i don't know how to describe it in english?? ok. shitty' i meant more like the contrast? this meaningful, intimate, magical moment in JUST a PLAIN office? lovely. by 'waiting wife' i meant like more of the person who won't be able to feel the same for him? like darling you're a pretty boy but we have a dragon in tears who waits to be tamed ;) andand the spoiler? it's not that big of a spoiler, tbh? you've mentioned in the 'Never Before' that reader had met aemond as a child. but i love getting spoilers! really. i either forget them or they just don't affect my impression. and i love learning things about the process of the writing like you've mentioned about iron ring! it's always so interesting to know more about whatever you see in the end. i love crying over fanfics too! so yes, go on pls 'they really just want to be with each other so so so bad.' lovei, i hope it doesn't mean anything bad... i need to cry out of happiness too, you know.... so if you approve... (coming alive to destroy the world) hope you'll like it) i'm glad you didn't cut the story!! it feels so whole and complete. you've made a really good job! i'm still veryvery proud of you! i know about fanfiction but one shot? drabble? i don't know what is what so i'm like um-ah fic? i'm not as worried about mistakes as i was like...last year... but i still read your answer and realise i've typed 'then' instead of 'them' and so on... you'll never know what hour is ungodly for me bc i live in another timezone, i guess) but you can come to my house whatever hour you like! coffee or tea? overall, i'm glad i like your fic too) and thank you sm for answering me!! hope you're not annoyed with these ones. i just like talking to you ig. so!! waiting for the part 3, sending you all my love and breath and tears!! stay hydrated, eat well, sleep tight and don't overwork yourself!! love you! take care! <з (fanfact. as i always type 'fell' instead of 'feel', i tend to type 'tace kare' confusing 'c' and 'k'. like my brain goes absolutely blank when i need to choose a letter so a pick a random one out of these 2 TT)

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IM GLAD YOUR BACK SO SOON FOR THE SECOND PART HAHAHAHA I GOT SO EXCITED WHEN I SAW MY INBOX NOTIF WHILE STILL REPLYING TO YOUR FIRST ONE LOL AHHAHAHHA

ANOTHER LOVE LETTER!!!

FIRST OF ALL why are you saying sorry 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬😡😡😡 taKE THAT BACK DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR SOMETHING THAT ISNT EVEN BAD YOU CAN TAKE UP SPACE YOU CAN SPEAK WHO CARES IF OUTSIDE ONLOOKERS THINK YOURE ANNOYING THEYRE DUMB I DONT THINK YOURE ANNOYING TAKE THAT SORRY BACK RIGHT NOW 👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹

also you like me FR FR FR FR i also have a sending inbox anxiousness T_T which is why i rarely do so, but i always think about how I dont find it annoying so why would THEY think that??? alas i am still working on taking up space too FUCK ANXIOUSNESS IT BELONGS IN THE TRASSSSHSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

anyway

i knew you'd written it unknowingly but outwitted?? i'm flattered. i'm just used to notice things like this. and i didn't mean that her office is literally shitty! when i was writing it i was like 'stop?? it's a museum it's not shitty.. but i don't know how to describe it in english?? ok. shitty' i meant more like the contrast? this meaningful, intimate, magical moment in JUST a PLAIN office? lovely.

DYING OF LAUGHTER HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA yes yes you totally outwitted me with that be 100% flattered the fact youre a genius and caught onto that makes me more so a genius and i think slay i think yas i think thats what we deserve AHHAHA. ok HAHAH im glad you didnt mean her office is shitty AHHAH. but youre so right with using that word to express what you mean it really did give the juxtaposition you wanted to convey, albeit not very accurately hahahah i appreciate the clarification. i understand the struggle of thinking in another language and having to change it into english. i loses something along the way, so again i appreciate the effort. and so true getting married to the love of your life in an office is such a paradox ahahahah

by 'waiting wife' i meant like more of the person who won't be able to feel the same for him? like darling you're a pretty boy but we have a dragon in tears who waits to be tamed ;)

i seeeeee HAHHAHHA THIS IS SO FUNNY SAUR TRUE MY BABIES SO CUTE BUT SHE BEEN WAITING TWO THOUSAND YEARS FOR HIM GIRRRRRLLLLLL T_T also lol it actually not 2000 years probably 1800?? give or take but its so much easier to say 2000 so imma just keep saying that

andand the spoiler? it's not that big of a spoiler, tbh? you've mentioned in the 'Never Before' that reader had met aemond as a child. but i love getting spoilers! really. i either forget them or they just don't affect my impression.

HAHHAHH SO TRUE YOU CAUGHT ME IM GIGGLING SO HARD I WAS TYPING THE SPOILER OUT then i thought, i already mentioned they met so this isnt too world changing HAHAAHH YOURE TOO BIG BRAINED I CANT AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I love/hate spoilers, sometimes i dont care, but other times i would rather not know because i want to enjoy the plot/plot twist in the moment when it happens

and i love learning things about the process of the writing like you've mentioned about iron ring! it's always so interesting to know more about whatever you see in the end.

T_T THATS SO SWEET AND NICE AND TOUCHING I ALSO LIKE LEARNING ABOUT THE PROCESS OF HOW SOMETHING CAME ABOUT WE BOTH TRULY SUCH INTELLECUTALS UGH! I WANT TO KEEP YOU IN MY POCKET

i love crying over fanfics too! so yes, go on pls 'they really just want to be with each other so so so bad.' lovei, i hope it doesn't mean anything bad... i need to cry out of happiness too, you know.... so if you approve... (coming alive to destroy the world) hope you'll like it)

I LOVE CRYING OVER FICS!! lets cry together sLAY!!! actually my teacher said crying once/twice a week is healthy for your eyes 😴 it flushes out the dirt but the only thing i hate about crying is when i cry i CRY i cant just like ~cry i CRYYYYYYY then my eyes get super puffy the next day (putting a cold spoon on your eyes help but please i cannot be bothered to go through that) it doesnt mean anything bad. like i say its better than aCTUALLY DOING SOMETHING BAD LIKE A CRIME OR DRUGS OR SMTH so shhh let's just enjoy our evil meow meow and YES COME ALIVE TO DESTROY THE WORLD WITH ME

i'm glad you didn't cut the story!! it feels so whole and complete. you've made a really good job! i'm still veryvery proud of you!

same im glad i didn't too!!! it does feel so much better like this because thats how i intended and saw that fic to be in the first place. I TAKE ALL YOUR COMPLIMENTS LIKE CHOCOLATE THANK YOU MY LOVE I LOVE HEAD PATS AND HUGS AND WORDS OF AFFIRMATION IM LUV U SO MUCH

i know about fanfiction but one shot? drabble? i don't know what is what so i'm like um-ah fic?

aHHH OK fanfiction is like the general umbrella term!!! its basically any work of fiction made for an existing story. one shot is for a fic thats only meant to be one chapter, thus one shot. it's not meant to be continued (which is why as a prominently one shot writer, i am very apprehensive for part twos) a drabble is basically a short fic, normally i think around 100-500 words??? a drabble can be a one shot, if its short enough. ashflashfsa i hope that made sense and that im right with my explanations. i highly suggest searching in case you wanna quote me T_T and i might be wrong lol

i'm not as worried about mistakes as i was like...last year... but i still read your answer and realise i've typed 'then' instead of 'them' and so on...

thats fine. i do that too. IM SO GLAD YOU ARENT AS WORRIED ABOUT MISTAKES!!! PROGRESS IS PROGRESS AND I THINK SLAY. i think as long as people get the essence of what you want to say, they really dont care about grammar mistakes. its fine!!!!!!!!!!!! but i feel you i cringe whenever i see a grammar mistake but lol when im not writing fanfics i kinda dont care AHHHAHH

you'll never know what hour is ungodly for me bc i live in another timezone, i guess)

yes you do i figured. i'll never know but i hope you still sleep RIGHT i will be so sad if you dont ):<

but you can come to my house whatever hour you like! coffee or tea? overall, i'm glad i like your fic too)

ok be there soon just gotta magic my way through the screen somehow. tea please! i love tea!!

and thank you sm for answering me!! hope you're not annoyed with these ones. i just like talking to you ig. so!!

IM NOT ANNOYED 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 I WILL ANSWER ALL YOUR ASKS 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡 BECAUSE I LOVE YOU 👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹 I LIKE TALKING TO YOU TOO 👿👿👿👿👿👿👿 SO DONT SAY SORRY ABOUT SENDING LONG ASKS OR THINK IM ANNOYED BECAUSE IM NOT

waiting for the part 3, sending you all my love and breath and tears!! stay hydrated, eat well, sleep tight and don't overwork yourself!! love you! take care! <з

same im waiting for the inspo to strike so i can write it im still not sure what i want to do. i was hoping you would tell me about your thoughts for aemond or aegon here but T_T NO WHERE IN SIGHT. anyway its 10pm im so sleepy i love you good night bye. YOU BETTER DO THE SAME THINGS AS WELL BECAUSE UNLIKE YOU I AM A WELL ADJUSTED 🤪🤪🤪 HUMAN BEING HOLISTICALLY 😡 TAKE CARE OR ELSE GRRRRRR

im luv u

(fanfact. as i always type 'fell' instead of 'feel', i tend to type 'tace kare' confusing 'c' and 'k'. like my brain goes absolutely blank when i need to choose a letter so a pick a random one out of these 2 TT

omg ur like me for really i get confused with spellings too omg HAHAHAHH EXCEPT I DONT STAY UP TILL LATE HOURS OF THE NIGHT ok sometimes i do BUT NOT OFTEN COS SLEEP IS IMPORTANT IM GONNA WRECK IT TAKE CARE I SAID OR ELSE

xxx

[sportsnet]

get to know me (tyler if you didn't know)

thanks @nicohischier for the tag...i guess...

do you make your bed

Like. when i clean my room yeah but i do that maybe once every few weeks so i guess no i do not make my bed. reason? lazy and also why im going to get right back into it the moment im home favourite number?

7 just like every other person bc im boring apparently but also its bc when i was a kid i needed to make a password for a device and my mom told me to do 7 bc her bday is on the 7th so my password was 7777 for YEARS (it is not anymore) and it just stuck what’s your job?

graduating hs in approx...6 days apparently so ig student(which isnt a job but shhh) but only for 6 more days but THEN once august hits im going to be a student once again (college...yay) if you could go back to school, would you?

this really wasnt meant for graduating hs students was it. can you parallel park?

i cant drive :( do you think aliens are real?

yes. and unlike rayleene it IS because i believe that there's a whole civilized society hanging out a few billion light years away. mostly bc i just think that the universe is so big (to put it lightly) that i just refuse to believe that there aren't other sentient lifeforms out there. plus the world is so big and scary and if we are the only ones out in that world then it gives the existence of humans more meaning than i think we need/deserve and then i start freaking out

can you drive a manual car?

still cant drive :( guilty pleasure?

honestly probably fanfiction at this point. multiple times ive considered the idea of seriously stopping consuming it bc i just feel that it takes up so much of my time. time that i could be using to do other stuff that are actually useful to me like sometimes people ask me if i have hobbies and i find that the answer is no? because i spend so much time reading fanfiction so in a way ig it IS my hobby because reading is a hobby its just that people usually mean books but unfortunately telling people my hobby is reading fanfiction violates the social norms of our society so i end up feeling guilty about it tattoos?

dont have any (underage. not that its stopped multiple of my friends lmao) and honestly dont plan on getting any for multiple reasons 1. on a surface level its bc im very very scared of needles 2. on a deeper level its bc im pretty scared of commitment and making irreversible choices and i dont think i genuinely have anything meaningful in my life that i would want to get put on my skin if i want to showcase my interest and love for something id rather just get a poster for it idk favourite colour? purple!! not bc of bts (preview for my answer to the next question) but bc i just think its neat :] favourite type of music? im a kpop fan i will admit ;-; but also i do listen to a lot of pop, rap, and hiphop in general do you like puzzles?

lowkey no bc i get really frustrated if it takes me too long to do something any phobias?

needles and blood. like one time (a few months ago) my school held a blood drive and i decided to do it bc if i did id get a cord for my graduation and also my friend was doing it. when i went i was a little anxious but it wasnt horrible. however, by the time they started checking my iron i was a little more stressed and by the time they finished checking my iron (which involved pricking my finger and getting my blood which i watched and this was my mistake) and told me i was good to go to the donation area i was feeling very anxious and stressed and this is all a long winded backstory to me saying that i fainted the moment i stood up after getting my iron checked before i could even start donating blood

fun fact: still ended up getting the cord because apparently i "tried" favourite childhood sport? i guess at some point i loved tennis as a kid since i begged my mom to play it as a kid. this didnt turn out well as i ended up hating it after a few years but was forced to continue by my mom to the point that i would get like stress stomach aches bc of how much i didnt want to do it and when i was finally allowed to stop i ended up hating tennis so much that to this day i refuse to watch it do you talk to yourself?

only in my sleep apparently lol tea or coffee? iced coffee >>>>> first thing you wanted to be when growing up?

when i was in middle school they asked my health class this question and my response was "something that would let me stay at home and do what i want with my time." obviously my 11 year old classmates took this as a sign that i wanted to be a stay at home parent (do not want kids but thats another story) and started teasing me for it however, now as im older i still think baby tyler was so fucking valid and lowkey i think a lot of those once upon a time 11 year olds would also agree with me now what movies do you adore?

How to train your dragon and Ferris Bueller's Day Off are two that i think of right away

[hwanchaesong]

ok im abt to give u the best reactions ever !!! and this is the first time i ever do smth like this off anon so well ,, here we go reading the first masterpiece

“That's what everyone thought, if they want to talk to you, they just have to look for Jungwon and bam! You'll be right there as well. It was a common notion for you two to be inseparable, a matching set, the missing puzzle pieces that completes the picture.” that’s actually so cute what the 😭 matching set 🥹

“No.” what do u know ?? omg that broke my heart and im barely js a few paragraphs in 😭

never knew tasting cheese could be so romantic… i hate cheese though🧌

DAYLIGHT . but daylight is legit ynwon coded . well at least will be (but its golden.. )

“Mr. Smartpants used the refrigerator to cast a glow in the darkness, and now he is right there, situated right where he used to be, meeting you face to face and you're lost” WE RE DANCING AROUND THE KITCHEN IN THE REFRIGERATOR LIGHT SKSKDKLE I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE OMG OMG ALL TOO WELL REFERENCE ????? kinda the whole vibe of this fic ngl

"I did. So fucking much that I asked your brother to set us up." you’re so real for that won

"Y/N, I do not imagine you in my future." that stings, that shit hurts to the point that tears begin welling up, then your eyes are wide open at his next words, "You are not in my future because you are the future. My future. Do you get it? I don't imagine. I, indubitably, want you to be at the center of it all." i got goosebumps omg i need a guy like this 😥

“This film is something you have seen before, except tonight,” I THINK IVE SEEN THIS FILM BEFORE AND I DIDNT LIKE THE ENDING all these taylor references?? I LOVE IT OMG

oh wow. i cannot ??!/? express how much this fic means to me now idk IT LEGIT IS SO GOOD AND WELL WRITTEN I LOVE IT SM

it'S A BIG HONOR TO ME THAT YOU DID THIS W/O BEING AN ANON LIKE ?????? THANK YOU SO MUCH 😭😭

again, this means a lot to me. this is also my first time receiving this much feedback through an ask and i'm so happy about it 😔✊

this is my first time writing for enha and one of my worries is that it might not connect with the audience. i was re-reading the whole fic so many times to make sure that it has enough angst, fluff and all that 🥹

so, yeah. you're such an angel for doing this, legit shed a tear or two while reading your reaction 🙈

AND LEMME TELL U I AM IN MY TAYLOR SWIFT BRAIN ROT ERA. 🫠 SO IG THERE WILL BE A LOT OF REFERENCE TOWARDS HER FOR THE REMAINING FICS LMAO (i'm lit in love with u for noticing those easter eggs 🥺)

i am certainly baffled by how much you've made me giggle and smile like a teenager with a crush with only a few interactions. you're the boost of dopamine that i needed to continue writing—

[comas-are-for-sleeping]

alright part two 💀

13. jon is increasingly worried about martin's isolation and apparent alliance with peter lukas. martin is actually just trying to save everyone's life bc peter told him that there was another fear power trying to attempt its own ritual very soon (the extinction). jon reads a statement that tells him a way to leave the institute for good -- taking out your eyes!! cant see? cant work for the institute! he finds martin with his new Knowing powers and says, "we can run away together 🥺" to which martin basically says no i cant im sorry. jon also tells everyone else and melanie say bet lemme just do that real quick. (she does. and moves in w georgie theyre dating its great.) oh also at some point they get the bullet out of melanie's leg and jon gives up a rib to get another one so he can have an anchor when he goes in the coffin and rescues daisy (he tries cutting off his finger, but it keeps immediately healing itself). daisy admits to not wanting to be involved with the hunt anymore (which she was, cause like cop... yeah) and stays w jon most of the time. melanie also becomes besties w helen who was previously michael (not in a directly transgender way, it just decided to use a new body).

14. jon figures out what martin is doing and also knows that it's probably going to end badly and so decides to save him. elias is back somehow and reveals that he has the eyes of jonah magnus, founder of the institute. basically he is jonah in a similar way to michael/helen. his Knowing powers are much stronger than jon's (we knew of these powers before sorry i didnt mention them thats why they needed to distract him). jon follows martin into a fog (lonely powered fog bc peter lukas is a sailor guy and fog makes u lonely ig). martin is like "im better off alone" and jon goes "i can see you" and you cry. and they hug and martin is pulled out of the fog. the not-sasha is let loose because other hunters that jon met in america (he tricked them) show up wanting to kill him. daisy goes feral mode (basically ensuring she'll never go back to normal after) after the hunters and the not-sasha. jon and martin relocate to a secret cabin place to hide from the hunters (together they're together they're in love). i think basira went to look for daisy.

15. jon gets a box of statements and pulls one out that ends up being from elias/jonah and ends the world! it's not entirely his fault but like... maybe a little.

16. season five! jon and martin traverse the new Horror World trying to get back to the institute and... do something. maybe fix everything. jon kills all of the people who he encountered during his field research. they find basira and she kills daisy and then goes off on her own bc god damn she just killed her gf. jon and martin are seperated for a second when martin is like. taken to his own domain (the world is divided into little areas where someone is basically feeding off of a specific fear of others) and jon goes to helen's domain and kills her!

17. they end up in london, where they find melanie and georgie with a small band of people they've saved. (since melanie broke ties with the eye and georgie literally cant feel fear, they're kinda outside the new fear system.) martin goes off with this web lady named annabelle (she has been a character, v manipulative as is the way of the web) who tells him basically that all the tapes that have been appearing seemingly out of thin air have been her and that even though the eye thought it was controlling everything, it was really the web the whole time. their choices are to destroy the archives and push the fears into some new unsuspecting world (plus kill elias) or jon takes elias's place as One True Seer or whatever and *try* to make the world a *little bit* more bearable. they go with the former. but martin also has to stab jon and they kiss and the archives blows up and the world goes back to "normal." jon and martin's status of living or not was left ambiguous.

ok you have a special interest in tma (im pretty sure) and i do not want to relisten to the whole fucking series SO can you give me liek a summary (however detailed you want) of what i need to know beofre tmp please and thank you

what gave you that impression whaaat???

ok but i love this question bc i can procrastinate on my hw without catastrophizing yippee!!

i'll do like a timeline of main events without dates bc i cannot actually remember numbers for shit

Jonathon Sims becomes Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute (im going to stop with capitals bc it is too much work) because his predecessor, gertrude robinson, died. he's extremely skeptical of anything "paranormal" so it's kinda funny in the beginning bc his whole job is recording statements people have given of their encounters/experiences. Every episode at this point ends with a, "well, it could be dismissed except for this one spooky detail."

at some point a delivery made by breakon and hope (a delivery company that shows up in statements; two guys with suspicious cockney accents) to jon. it's a table with a hole in the center (also has shown up in statements multiple times). because of its association to, like, bad things, jon takes an axe to the thing and it is left in artifacts storage.

the events of season one are basically worm lady named jane prentiss is stalking the institute in order to take it over. she traps martin blackwood, the poor sweet boy, in his apartment for a week. now he cant stand the sight or taste of canned peaches! he moves into the archives temporarily because of this. jon finds him annoying/a nuisance but is very quick to offer the archives as a place for him to stay (spoilers they kiss). sasha james, another employee, meets an entity who calls itself Michael (an icon) who takes her to see a guy from a statement where his one night stand explodes into worms bc she had an encounter with jane prentiss. he is now a worm person. michael gets a worm from sasha's arm that tried to get into her arm w his finger which is Too Long and Too Sharp. The season ends with prentiss invading the archives and being burned to death! tim stoker (another employee, promise that's mostly all of them), martin, and jon are all Traumatized and end up covered in scars from getting worms out of each other with a corkscrew :) sasha and elias bouchard (everyone's boss) attempt to get out, but sasha is separated and ends up in artifacts storage. someone else is there and then the tape cuts out (everything is being recorded on tapes because something funky happens when certain statements come in contact with digital technology). the tape goes missing.

season two is jon's Paranoia Era. he's not sure who he can really trust anymore, since if jane was out there, there must be others and they could even be his own staff (how did she get in?? what are the underground tunnels beneath the archives??). at the end of each statement there is now a "supplemental" in which he describes his suspicions (which leads to him following some of his employees to their homes and they find out and... are not very pleased) and his findings in explorations of these strange tunnels that seem to move by themselves. there is someone down there, but who could it be?

oh btw another reoccurring thing are spooky books with the name "jurgen leitner" in them

the last two statements before Shit Goes Down are both about someone who's relative changes appearance, sound, and personality, except that no one thinks that this has happened and even pictures would suggest they had always looked like that (except polaroids and tapes). jon finds sasha's "missing" tape and listens to it. and... she sounds different in this recording. uh oh!! she isn't who she says she is!! she attacks him, he ends up running around in the archives (perhaps because of michael, who has a multidimensional door that enters into a spiral of confusing hallways) and meets the man himself, jurgen leitner (who, it turns out, has been the one living in the archives). they trap the Not-Sasha in the tunnels because leitner has a book that, if he reads certain sections, can move the walls/stairs/entryways/etc. jon Obviously has questions, so they go into his office and he keeps interrupting leitner (obviously). what he is able to tell jon is basically:

he found some spooky books and decided that he could collect them all. he built a library and put his name in all the books he owned, but one day it was too much and basically the whole thing burned down, all his assistants died, and the books were yet again scattered to the winds. he explains that he believes these books, entities, and items are all part of powerful beings. he also tells jon that elias killed gertrude. jon freaks out and decides to take up smoking again in that moment, so leitner is left alone. and elias goes in there and kills him with a lead pipe. jon comes back and is like wtf. he's pinned as the murderer bc all his coworkers were suspicious of his behaviors.

so now jon is on the run. he hides in his ex-girlfriend's apartment. he decides to do field research into something gertrude seemed to be interested called The Unknowing. we also learn that he encountered a leitner book as a child which led him to witness his school bully being taken by a spider behind a door (this is an animatic of said book teehee). also that georgie (the ex) also had an encounter separate from him which resulted in her losing all ability to feel fear. jon's field research leads him to find various entities from the statements and is kinda bullied by all of them tbh. hand burned by a woman who's basically made of wax (she likes destroying people's things and fire), simulated vertigo from a guy with a lightning scar down his back, and kidnapped by a clown manequine who wants his skin (as part of the Unknowing)! oh and also almost murdered by a bloodthirsty cop (daisy tonner my beloved plus her gf basira. idr if their relationship was ever established but). he tells daisy that he wasn't the one who killed leitner and that it was elias (i think he has proof?? bc she believes him). they corner him but hes like lol no u cant kill me if you kill me you all die rip teehee!!

oh! on his adventures, he ends up in america and learns that the powers are organized into types of fears. there are fourteen of them, jon works for the Eye. jane was the corruption (rot, bugs). the circus is the stranger (fear of the other, unknown, etc).

at this point i think also the clown + her circus have gathered all the materials for this "Unknowing," (a ritual of sorts). the crew (now including daisy and basira) devise a plan to end it while also distracting elias so that he can be arrested. jon makes martin and tim stay behind (as the distraction), but tim refuses bc his brother was killed by a clown (not the same one as the kidnapper) and hes Angry. I think at this point basira and melanie (she made a statement and then got fired from her job as a ghost hunter youtuber) work at the institute also.

they enter the circus Unknowing and martin burns statements to get elias's attention. all the circus people forget who they are so it's hard to blow everything up, but they figure it out enough for tim to detonate. daisy is thrown into a coffin (also a thing that shows up in multiple statements), tim dies in the explosion, and jon is catatonic.

season four! jon wakes up six months later in the hospital and is told that he was entirely dead except for brain activity. martin is distant, elias has been arrested and replaced by peter lukas, a name that has also shown up before. he is part of the lukas family, which is aligned with the lonely (they help fund the institute). jon pulls back up to his place of work and everyone's kinda annoyed and sad bc their friends are dead. melanie is increasingly violent, most likely due to a ghost bullet in her leg from right before she was hired (this is the slaughter, which is war and senseless violence/murder). she hates jon because she is stuck working for the institute forever (you cant leave or you'll like. get increasingly more sickly or something like that). basira spends a lot of time in the institute library. jon realizes that he can Know things randomly now. he also starts needing to read statements in the way that we need food and sometimes kinda is not so great to (random) people when he's especially lacking

oh my turns out there is a word limit to these things!! whoopsie doo there is more so get ready ig

[3liza]

do u know if that "data mining through fb posts asking yr address/first car/whatever" is like, real? it's always struck me as scaremongering since ive never seen any like actual evidence that ppl do that. and it seems kinda tedious like, from the hacker's perspective

it is absolutely real lol. the evidence is that people get hacked all the time! hacking is tedious, as a profession and a hobby, all serious computer touchers are doing tedious jobs. this is why adhd/autistic people end up computer touching for a living quite a lot of the time, because we can get into flow states where we can dig through social media posts for 10 hours without getting bored or distracted.

there are many ways to get hacked. the most common way is using the same passwords on one site as you do on another site that gets their data stolen or leaked. thats easy mode. but if you piss someone off, advertise yourself as a target (like a lot of the influencers who have gotten robbed recently after showing off their stupid rolexes and shit on IG), or just get plain unlucky, you can end up on the receiving end of a computer toucher who will start with your tumblr bio and go something like this:

hm, Jessica is 25 years old and lives in Philadelphia and mentioned in a comment that she went to Smith Elementary school which is the aswer to one of the security questions at her bank, and i know what ban k she uses because she posted a complaint about that bank on her blog. i know her age which means that she graduated HS in 20XX and she says shes a libra so shes born in this month, seawrching for the word "birthday" on her tumblr didnt give me anything but searching the same on the twitter account she linked in her sidebar DID give me a post on her actual birthday so now i know when it is, oh she accidentally included part of a mailing address label in the backround of a pic of her nails so now i know her last name, searching FB with this last name in philadelphia i see she has a private profile but i now have every single one of her family members who AREN'T PRIVATE, including her mom who has her maiden name listed publicly (another bank account security question) and i can look up jessica and everyone she knows on voterrecords.com and whitepages.com and mylife.com and find all their mugshots and arrest records and addresses and maybe even pay a few bucks to get complete public records with even more information, it really ddepends on how much of a freak i am, and the internet has bottomless creeps with free refills.

everything i just typed out takes about 45 minutes to do and costs $0 except the advanced records search which is real cheap. i have done this to creeps and stalkers many times in order to get the information i needed to shut them down or threaten them. someone who actually is after your money or accounts can do a lot more and is motivated to do so because most of them are working out of places where a Steam account (for example) is worth the trouble. check blackhatworld.com and read what the instagram scammers are doing in the broad daylight, thats not even a private forum. to those guys, someone's organic and real instagram account is worth a couple bucks and they are definitely out there harvesting them to resell. another reason hackers take accounts is to hit up your friends and family for donations. sometimes they just use it to dump spam and you get banned for it.

edit: a BIG reason random women get hacked? creeps looking through your DMs for nudes, which they then sell or just swap for fun because theyre awful. people dont really need good reasons to do this terrible shit. a ton of women who ended up on isanyoneup.com had absolutely no idea how their pics got on there, and some of the content was stuff they had never even sent to anyone. every time one of my computers or phones shits itself and i have to take it into a repair place ( i try to avoid doing this but sometimes stuff is above even my pay grade as a computer-toucher myself) i am EXTREMELY AWARE that anyone at the repair place can and probably will dump every single photo from my machine onto a thumb drive and take it home. just because they can.

its not super likely that someone is going to walk in your front door and rob or kill you if you dont lock it every single night but like. you should still lock your front door. if you leave food lying around youre going to get raccoons.

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

Ig this would be the.. intro? I dunno. It's just gonna be a storyline of how I ended up here. I'm sorry that it's so long

I used to be mildly into benadryl when I was in middle school. I took it a few times for it's intended purpose not thinking nothing of it but then I started noticing I like the drowsiness of it

Which led me to taking some damn near everyday before school. It wasn't anything crazy. I think the most I did was 50 mg. But most days it was the basic ass 25

My parents started hiding our pills after I opened up about a suicide attempt in 8th and up until very recently, we had no medicine at our reach.

I guess I wasnt that addicted. I was slightly salty but I moved on pretty quick. And after a while, I looked back at that time like.. oh WOW uh. That coulda been a problem. Least I dodged it? 😅

Wrong.

I'm now 19 (was 18 when all this first went down tho). I went to visit my mom for Christmas and during the trip I got a bad sinus infection. Tho I didn't realize that was what it was. She ended up giving me some of my younger sisters benadryl. It was. So fucking gross. It was liquid and it was not as potent since it was for kids so I had to take what felt like gallons of it.

By the end of the trip she told me I could just take the rest cause she didn't need it really and I might have issues again from being around all those ppl again on my way back

I didnt really think nothing of it. I liked the feeling but I wasn't thinking about going to my old ways at the time

But there was this day that I was just bored. And I saw the bottle staring at me. And I was just like meh. Why not?

Which is what landed me here. I liked it so much. I decided to buy some tablets on my own so I could do it again. My best friend used to abuse dph so she was casually telling me about some concoction she took that had her feeling nice and I decided I wanted to try it too

It hit me hard those first few times. I was taking random doses with loads of Tylenol. I couldn't tell you how much I took half the time. I would just be dancing around my room, chugging whatever energy drink i picked and taking em as I felt like it was starting to taper some.

Those first few times were. Very weird. My memory was so bad I was forgetting things mid thought/sentence. I had a really hard time talking to my bsf when I was gone off it. My vision wss lowkey blurry and I would be thinking about something and forget that I'm just THINKING it and it's not actually happening and by the time I look back down, ive texted her some nonsense

She used to find it funny tbh. She did warn me against using Tylenol frequently as she fucked her liver at the ripe age of 17 abusing that. So I decided to stop mixing and just focus on benadryl and monsters. Then I started to run out of money for energy drinks so I decided to just up my dosages so I'd feel good off of benadryl alone

I think by this point I started taking... 500? Damn near everyday. Once it was nighttime, I would get high. Unless I didn't feel like it or I forgot, I was high

I used to doordash it to me so my parents wouldn't get suspicious about me going places and only walking out with pills and drinks. But I quickly ran through sm money doing that. Doordash is expensive as is but after a point the packs I was buying would last all of a day or two.

By the time this was going on it was still all jokes and I still felt like I wasn't doing any harm. And she didn't either. We both got high together at one point. We just talked and did our thing til we passed out on vc. I believe this was around... February?

This is gonna seem random but. You remember how I said I visited my mom for Christmas? I got there by flight. But in order to get a cheap ticket I had to sit around and wait for my next flight. There was like... 10 hours of downtime. At the time, me and my best friend didn't talk for that that long. We'd play games together and vc, but usually once we got bored we'd talk for a bit more and say our goodbyes. But this layover junk had me scared. 10 hours is a long ass time. Someone could snatch me up or rob me. I dunno. I guess I was being paranoid

But I asked her one day if she minded staying on vc with me during it. And to my surprise she said yeah. I tried to warn her and shake her off the day of. She seemed sleepy and I was honestly nervous to be talking to her for that long. I thought she'd get bored and just be mad that she agreed

I've always been really antsy and was always worried about people being annoyed by how quiet I am. So I usually overcompensate. But with everything going on, I really couldn't keep up the bubbly thing for that long. I think by hour 4 I was done. My thighs stung from me wearing these jeans I had to pull up every 5 seconds, I was hungry but I didn't wanna eat in her ear, and I was really sleepy.

But even with all that said, it ended up being.. so fun. I wasn't even doing anything particularly interesting. But that's honestly what made it fun. Being on the phone with her taught me what comfortable silence felt like. It was... really nice to have someone I didn't have to worry about doing all that for. She didn't act any different towards me whether I'm on 1000% or being a hermit. She said she'd be there and she was determined to be there.

And while I didn't realize it at the time, I now see that day as when I fell for her. It iss. Kinda weird to think about now. To sum up the rest, we started talking way more; to a point where we were on vc for days and days at a time and we could go hours talking about whatever. Our families started to be familiar with us, to a point where they felt comfortable talking to me and vice versa. Those few months were amazing really

But ofc. All good things must come to an end. I didn't really realize it but she started catching feels as well. But, her girlfriend broke up with her. I guess its fair. We were always talking and shed forget to text her back being busy doing shit with me. She actually said she felt the same way towards me. But she decided that she should be focusing on fixing/proving herself to girlfriend even if that meant ignoring what all happened between us.

It still stings a lot. But at the time?? It was. A huge shock. I already was kinda letting go entirely in front of her. It had gotten to the point where we were always on the phone. So having her just like. Hey yeah I did say I love you and I do, but I love my girlfriend more so we can't talk like that anymore. I was sobbing. I didn't understand what I should do. How could she literally sit there and do all that and just.. boom yeah no more of that. I enjoyed it and you enjoyed it but we can't. I can't lose her

I felt so pathetic and I just wanted to stop thinking about it. Which led me to try to forget it with dph. And it didn't work. At all. I was still scream crying into my bed wishing I could go back to the not so complicated times of before. We were just existing. Enjoying each others company and doing what we felt like. But now, I have to worry about stepping on toes and being conscious of how often we speak cause her girlfriend will get upset if we talk too often

I couldn't even blame the gf tbh. It was completely fair for her to be upset. Which made it feel.. so much worse. I didn't know who to be mad at

And i just.. couldn't figure it out. So I kept going to dph. It got to a point where it wasn't even helping much. It just felt routine. This all went down late february/early march and between now and then, I was almost never sober. I'd stop for at most a few days. Then I'd start crying or something and go back. Not even entirely cause of her anymore. Just everything. I was so fragile. Anything that even mildly irritated me would make me want dph. Plus, it didn't help that I have been genuinely haviing big issues going on anyway.

Before all this went down, I failed a course and lost a scholarship that was the only reason I could afford the in the first place. So I dropped out. Or tried to. My uni's semesters were structured where there was 3 months of school and 3 months of work but none of their job opportunities were close enough to be feasible. So I technically was in school but.. not? I dropped out late february. And after a while of slow back and forth about that, by the time they finally let me out the school, they decided to drop the bombshell that the charges on my account were not for the winter 2022 term, they were from the fall. I'm assuming it's payment for the lost scholarship but I now owe them nearly 7k and they won't give me my transcript until I clear that.

I already had to borrow money anyway so I now owe... 22k? I believe? From one singular semester.

That all coming together is what made me spiral. I had learned that all about late april and I only had a week left to turn in my application for my next school. But now? No chance. I don't have 7k lying around so I can't prove I went to school. So i'm fucked. Least til Summer term

But, I think I'll be on the hook for my student loan soon. I haven't been in school since January. So it just. piled up. I never wanted to be here anyway and now I'm going to be stuck slaving working off my debt for something I was never really that interested in.

I was constantly high around this time. I'd usually wait til nighttime but then? I couldn't stand to be with my thoughts period. I was taking 600 and up everyday. Sleeping whenever and waking up, taking more, then going back to sleep.

Towards the end of this months long streak, I was planning on killing myself. I saw that if the student dies, loan debt would be cleared and I figured my uni wouldn't be pressed enough to hound the family of a dead ex student over 7k. I had it all prepared and everything and I was fully ready. I had bought a 1000 pill bottle of dph a little bit before all the stuff between me and my best friend went down and I still had plenty. I had gotten used to taking grams and up atp as well. So I figured all I had to do is take a few grams and wait.

But, I tried to give my best friend a heads up as in the past, I said I would. I didn't want to lie even if that did mean scaring her for the moment. I didn't say it outright. I was just being real ominous and telling her to find someone cooler if I take too long to be online again and shit. But omg.. It stung so hard to see how scared she was. I thought I was doing her a favor for letting her know that I possibly wouldn't be around but she was so fucking scared. And I felt horrible for it. Ofc, I know that is better than hitting her blind and lying. But yeah.

I couldn't go through with it though. There was so many times where I was going to but I was dreading not speaking to her. I hated ignoring her. And I just started thinking on if I survived. I'd have so much to explain to my parents. Plus, they'd be babying me for however long they end up doing that this time and they'd be watching me for a bit. I wouldn't be able to get high for a looooong time if I get caught

So I just. Stayed. Not really cause I want to but cause I don't want to deal with the consequences of me not staying. And in the meantime I got even more fucked off dph. I was getting to a point where I could barely feel anything below 300mg and I'd for the most part being taking shit in the 750-1k range. I think the highest I've gone was 1.25k? I dunno

But it got... really old. After you get into super high dosages the dry mouth thing turns into a lot more than just dry mouth. It became routine to be using eye drops 24/7 just to read texts cause my eyes were so dry they were making everything blurry. I'd feel so sick and sleepy for days after. And I was always so fucking thirsty.

So I tried to replace it with other shit. I tried to get back into dxm. I really liked it and that one time me and my best friend got high on it together made me chase that same feeling for a good while before I gave up on it and got back to dph. I tried to get back into it recently but swallowing all those damn pills is just. Too much. I tried delta 8. She really harped on it being good and she seems to really like smoking but for me? Delta 8 wasn't nearly strong enough for me to consider it a replacement to dph. I'd sit there and smoke all day and feel slightly different. It ended up getting used solely as a booster for when I took dph.

And that about brings us to now. I've gone a week here and there "quitting" benadryl but. I always circle back. I get really shaky and moody when I withdraw cold turkey so recently when I did it I made sure to taper instead. And it worked... relatively well. I was still was more irritable than usual but I wasn't ticcing so. Good enough

Uh is that offensive to say? I dunno. It's the firdt thing that came to mind. The first time I did it I kept jerking my head to left and I did it so much my neck was burning and cramping. I couldn't stop it unless I was in front of others out of fear of getting caught and even that was only to an extent. I couldn't control it at all and I couldn't sleep for 3 days cause my head just kept on jerking

I thought I'd be done for good after that last one tbh. But I was going to try dxm again cause I was falling off the deep end again and I wanted benadryl but I figured dxm would be a good replacement for the time being as I already had enough for 3rd plat on deck and I really don't have the money to buy anything else. So I took my usual nausea concoction so I won't puke up all the pills. 3 pepto bismol pills and a small amount of benadryl.

What I wasn't thinking of, however, is that my tolerance had greatly lowered since I wasn't taking high ass doses 24/7. at the time I was doing dxm regularly I was use to half grams of dph so 150 was really nothing

But that wasn't the case. I was waiting for the benadryl to kick in so that I'd know when I was good to get going with taking all 80 million of the damn dxm pills. But once the dph kicked in.. I really wasn't thinking about dxm anymore. It felt so good. I missed it sm.

I am. Kinda sad that I'm back to it. As I'm writing this I'm off a 3pm 200mg dose. It's really just the remnants atp but better than nothing ig. I've been trying to keep my doses as small as I can. But with that, I've been a lot more comfortable being high throughout the day so ig it aint that much of an improvement. It's gotten to the point where I'll take it when I'm out and about as well. I was just at the mall bout to pass out cause I decided to take some while I was there.

I just. I dunno. It just feels right atp. I'm so fucking sad all the damn time and this at least diverts my focus. I don't have to be sad about what a failure I've become. I can just focus on being sad about how sick I feel or how much I hate being dependent on allergy medicine. And people don't realize it but they prefer me high. I swear. Within the week I was off it I was told I looked sickly, depressed, and I bummed out my best friend a multitude of times.

I'm less self-conscious on it. I'm just so focused on staying up that it takes more effort for that sort of thing to poke through. So it usually doesn't. 99% of the pictures I take are when I'm high and everyone has been really glad I'm "getting out my shell" I've never been huge on pictures but. lol.

I've never really had too much off the hallucinatory effects benadryl is popular for. Ofc, I've had my moments towards the beginning but nowadays? Never. Unless I nap on it I'm pretty much normal. When I sleep uh. it gets fuzzy ngl. But all the shit about like. Hatman, static, spiders? Never. I just daydream more vividly and I do gotta put in the effort to not forget that's all they are. Plus, it makes music so much better. It's so nice to be able to listen to a song cause I like it rather than to drown out my thoughts. It makes all the basic shit just. Feel good.

Though, I know I need to stop at some point. I'm constantly dehydrated and I'm going to build a tolerance again. I've been good about not going over 200 lately but give it a week and I'm sure something's going to upset me to where I go over that

I'm going to use this page to go into specifics about my habit cause now that she's concerned about it, I don't want to talk to her on it more than I have to. So that will include, thoughts and feelings and possibly symptoms if I'm feeling up for it. It's mostly for me to keep track but if anyone wants to watch feel free.

Though, I'll say this much. If you are going to try and talk me out of it, don't. Not saying it like that but. I know what I'm doing is harmful. I already have an ulcer off the mere 5 months I've been doing this and my heart does it's own thing at times. And to the droves of ppl that love to scream oH sMoKe iNsTeAd!1!11! or jUsT dO dXm!!!1!!111!! pay for it and I will. til I can afford to casually drop the money to buy bottle after bottle of pills for dxm or the copious amounts of weed I'd need to replace dph, I'm just gonna do me and try my best. Sorry if that ain't good enough for yall as well.

[machinegunbun]

Hi, can you finish that blurb? Just curious

ok ok hold your death threats everyone :)

tw:smut, obviously. throwing up and Painal too ig, but also if you saw the first part of this blurb Colson mentions “making sure it hurts.” so we’re going by implied consent in this one. Some shit may be a little morally eh (as pimping your girlfriend out to your best friend goes) but its all in the name of smut so if youre not into it then just pretend it didnt happen? If that makes sense?  okay have fun drink water

---

shutting the door behind him, you hear a faint click as he twists the lock. Your eyes go wide as you look up at him from your place on the bed, mouth propped slightly open by the shiny red ball. 

Rooks hand is already massaging his hard cock through his jeans as he admires the sight infront of him, his free hand coming up to brush a piece of hair from your face. 

You just can’t help but look, your eyes trailing down to where his hand is stroking himself through the rough confines of his jeans

Flipping you on all fours. He doesnt bother to take off your skirt, opting to flip it up and out the way. You feel the tip of his dick against your entrance, a small pain as he tries to push himself in your tight hole and the shaft of his cock as it slips. 

After a few attempts he gives in with a sigh, his thumb slipping into your ass, bending it when he reaches the hilt. A moan comes from your throat at the new and slightly intrusive feeling.

It took him putting two fingers in your tight hole, switching from his thumb to pointer and middle finger and pumping in and out for a few minutes each before he managed to fit himself inside you. 

It hurt, but in a good way. You could feel him stretching you as he pumped in and out, but you liked knowing you were making him feel good at your own expense. Plus, the noises coming from him only worked to make you wetter. Laying down a bit so your back was arched, you reach under your body and play with your clit, moaning at the release of tension that had built in the bundle of nerves.

“Fuck, has Colson ever had your ass before?” He asks, a blush coming over your face. You go to respond verbally, quickly reminded of your current handicap. You shake your head, made slightly difficult by the grip Rook had on your hair. Groaning at your response, his thrusts increase in pace, along with your whimpers, your pleas quickly silenced by the shiny red ball in your mouth.

“Tell me how much it hurts.” He demands, removing the gag from your mouth and sliding it down to your neck, using it like a leash to pull you back towards him.

“Fuck,” you gag, getting used to the feeling of your newly empty mouth “It hurts. I can feel you stretching me.” Whimpering as you make eye contact with him, his eyes full of lost as they trail down your body, grip on the gag wrapped around your neck tight as his gaze lands on your fingers playing with your clit.

“Oh, but you like it? Colson’s right, you are a dirty little slut, and you’re getting exactly what you deserve.” He hums, whispering in your ear “You know, I actually felt bad for a minute, punishing your tight little asshole, but the whole time you were getting off on it. You slut” his tone so accusatory as he releases his hold on your gag, letting you fall to the bed.

“Do you think Colson would be mad if he knew I played in your tight little hole before he got the chance? That I fucked you in your tight little asshole and you liked it. That you’re such a horny little slut you’d let me go against his wishes.” Rook moans, placing a harsh smack to your ass while he relentlessly pounds away, his middle and pointer finger hooking into your mouth and pulling back.

“He’d kill us.” He groans, his pace quickening as he chases his orgasm “M’not gonna cum in you.” he hums, choking on his words “M’not gonna cum in your ass, okay? Colson will never know. And you’re not gonna tell him, yeah? Just gonna be our little secret.” He whispers, hot breath fanning over your neck as he moves a piece of hair from your face

“Ride me.” He says, breathless and laying back in bed, his hard member standing straight. You’re ontop of him, facing the door when you feel his hand come across your ass once more.

Reaching back, you wrap your hand around his hard cock, watching as he admires your body, his hand coming up to squeeze your breast. Lining him up with your hole, you sink down slowly, a small whimper falling from your lips. Rook groans at both the feeling and your reaction to taking him in your ass, your hips lightly bouncing against him. His gaze locked on your tight asshole taking him, the way it squeezes around his cock, the way you whine everytime you take all of him.

Rooks hands come up to grip your hips, pushing and pulling you to maintain the pace, forcing you to take him again and again and again. Soon his heels are digging into the bed and he’s thrusting inside you, eager to reach his high.

“Fuck, m’gonna cum. Get off me.” He says, not strong enough to pull out himself. You gladly do as he says, slowly turning around to face him, your asshole empty and burning, completely used. You relished in the feeling, knowing that you’d have to deal with it long after he’d came. 

The thought that he had just used your asshole and didn’t even bother to cum, causing you so much pain only to pull out at the last second. Fuck, was it hot. You were completely his and there was nothing you could do about it. He could do whatever he wanted to you and you weren’t allowed to object. His toy, his fuck thing, whatever he needed to reach his high. You could cry and beg for Colson, but it didn’t matter, he wouldn’t stop until he was done with you.

Rook took a moment to catch his breath, his abs lifting up and down as he attempts to slow his heart rate.

“Get on the floor.” He says simply, breaking the silence. Doing as your told, you feel your knees hit the carpeted floor, glancing up at him for further direction.

“By the wall.” He says. You crawl over slowly, your knees dragging against the floor as you make your way. Standing on your knees, you let your back rest against the wall, staring intently as he makes his way over to you.

He pulls your arms up over your head, ripping the shirt from your body and tangling his fingers in your hair, pulling back so you’re looking up at him, watching as he strokes his cock. Pushing down on at the base, he rubs his tip across your tongue before pushing all the way in. He falls into pace quickly, throat fucking you, gagging as you feel him hit the back of your throat with nowhere to go, trapped between the wall and his hips. 

Your head bumps lightly against the wall as he thrusts into your throat. You try your best not to gag, but his thrusts are relentless. You try to warn him by tapping on his leg, but he’s too lost in his own pleasure to notice. It’s not until you have an especially loud gag that he realizes what’s happening, a smirk coming across his face as he continues his actions.

“Is that too much? Are you having trouble breathing. Huh? can’t hear you through all that gagging. Lemme see, are you touching yourself again, slut?”

It’s not long before you feel something start to come up your throat. You can’t tell if Rooks actions are purposeful or not, so once again you try to warn him

“Are you gonna throw up on my dick? Good.” he hums in response, pulling a trashcan over quickly. You bend over it, throwing up in to the plastic bag within.

“Keep fucking going.” He says, pulling you back into place, sliding back down your throat. You continue to suck his dick, shakily. The burning in your asshole from being stretched and the burning from your throat starting to take a toll on you. 

Just when you think maybe you can’t do it anymore you feel him spurting down your throat, swallowing his load hastily. Rook remains full submerged in your mouth for a moment before pulling out, his head hung back in pleasure.

“Oh shit, are you okay?” He asks, laughing a bit, his hand coming down to support your chin. The action was soft and sweet in complete contrast to the last thirty minutes.

“Yeah, im good.” You squeak

“Awh, let me go get you some water. Poor thing.” He says, throwing on a pair of pants and making his way to the kitchen. Colson must’ve seen him leave, because he made his way into the room, his eyes falling on the bed first, eyebrows furrowing when he saw you weren’t there. His eyes begin to scan the room, eventually landing on you.

“Oh, hey.” He greets softly, making his way over to you “what are you doing over here? Did you throw up?”

“Rooks a fucking freak.” You reply, wiping your mouth. Colson snorts softly at this, picking you up and carrying you to the bathroom. The bath was already all set up for you, bubbles and all. 

“Clean up real quick and then we can cuddle.” He says, placing a kiss on your cheek as he allows you to stand on your own “Need any help?”

“No, thank you.” You reply, climbing into the bath.

Eventually, you were out and dry, wrapped up in blankets next to Colson while he rubbed your back, Rook sitting at the end of the bed.

“Wait, so what all did ya’ll do.” He asks, straining his neck a bit to look over at you.

“I dunno,” you blush, burying your face in his shoulder “we fucked.” Both of the boys laugh softly

“Yeah we just like- Fucked,” Rook laughs again as he explains “she blew me for a little bit.”

“That’s it? She just, like, blew you?”

“Nah, I mean, we did anal at first.” Rook admits, Colson’s jaw dropping in shock as he looks over at you.

“You didn’t tell me you were into that.” He says softly, pouting. You glance down at Rook, who’s rubbing his eye “I’m not mad, I just didn’t know it was something you’d be into.”

“That’s okay, now that he knows he’ll be sure to use that information to his advantage.” Rook adds, smirking.

“Yeah, exactly.” Colson laughs, booping you on the nose and taking a moment to look at you before placing a kiss there aswell. 

“Alright I’ll leave you guys to that, i’m tired.” Rook says, yawning and stretching as he stands up.

“Really? It’s only 12Am, you never go to bed this early.” You say, glancing over at the digital clock next to you and colson’s shared bed.

“What can I say, you tired me out.” He winks, getting hit in the back of the head with a pillow as he goes to leave.

“Hey, watch it.” Colson jokes, “and give us our pillow back, please.” He continues, mumbling the last part.

~*~taglist~*~

@kidtheekid @cclynn88 @lonerlee @friedwangsss @rumoured-whispers @nichmeddar @sunflowerbebe107

[everythings-a-feather]

ok so now that we have the whole season I redid the tier list (I belive by @polkadotbrat)

and very quick thoughts, these were supposed to be a sentence each but I couldnt help myself

ma poule tier- its all the felix episodes cuz I am only invested in him at this point) strike back may be my overall fav this season cuz I was torn between wanting felix to be the dog and the peacock but strike back let me have my cake and eat it too also ik that felix giving hawkie the whole miracle box is like an awful betrayal or whatever but the miraculous zoo is gone thank god tho the ladynoir moment had me feeling empty and I just cant empathise with marinette at all at this point because none of the things she actually fucked up this whole season blew up in her face she just got played by felix and honestly good for felix. Also isnt lucky charms whole thing "it gives you what you need not what you want" and it pointed at felix, when Marinette could have picked up Adrien from the past TM before risk was active instead of Felix whos just unaffected. tho maybe its just that in Felix the episode its established that he can throw with dead accuracy so the lucky charm lead her to felix because hes good at throwing??? idk man ML is weird with this stuff

silver medal- Psychomedian almost made it to ma poule because ladynoir my formerly beloved but as my investment in them as of end of season 4 is dead its getting knocked down a tier. Crocoduel, purple tigress my beloved. Glaciator 2, Marichat shenanigans were very fun. WIshmaker, I like luka in this one and if the show pretends ephemeral never happened and he gets to do actual things I might actually like luka overall. Rocketear, angst my beloved, spawned good fics, detective nino was funny.

did something for someone- Gang of Secrets, eh honestly idc but the adressing of Marinette being stressed is nice, Hack-san, I liked scarabella and chats dynamic, please let there be canon bridgette so that felila is guaranteed to never happen tho canon bri will also need a personality shift (maybe be more Lawful Good than she already was to balance Felix being chaos energy?). Optigami- smart plan ig. Mister Pigeon 72, all it did was convince me that it should have been Marigami and Lukeadrien not Adrigami and Lukanette tbh, Hawkmoth x Mr Pigeon my... I wanna say crack ship beloved but I seriously think Feluka could work and Im not sure if theyre aware of each others existence since Luka isnt in Adriens class (Im not rewatching "Felix" to confirm this). Sentibubbler, congrats Alya stans? closest to being in the next tier

(un) bothered- Dearest family, I had hopes but the episode is eh. Furious Fu- Order of the guardians should have stayed dead. Guilt trip- Marinette... please Adrien almost has this covered. Penalteam, eh, powers underutilised here, tho I really like Penalty. Megaleech, SAMG was wasted on this episode. Truth and Lies- (total deadpan) oh no Lukanette and Adrigami the two ships we saw develop so much on screen and I was completely emotionally invested in and that the NY special didnt tell us broke up immediately after they started dating, seriously tho I cant take lukanette seriously as a pairing and Adrigami has potential but im kinda eh also Kagami literally has the "I will lose the love triangle" hair so.

Incredible anger- EPHEMERAL MY BELOATHED "BUT I DONT LIKE CHAT NOIR" GIRL WDYM WE SEE THE WAY YOU TWO LOOK AT EACH OTHER LUKA SPEEDRAN MY BELOVED TO MY BELOATHED EPHEMERAL LOOKED UGLY THE WRITERS DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIKE CHAT BLANC. Kuro neko, almost everything @parismystere has said about this episode, I was clowning and hoping it would be a "adrien I need you to be a temp cat while I find Chat Noir" while Felix is in town idc about the middle but Adrien does tell felix he is chat so Felix as adrien says "oh well I happen to know chat noirs identity-" and gives the ring back to adrien while also solving the "we cant reach chat cuz no one knows his identity" problem cuz 'Adrien' knows who chat is, also this would tip them off to something fishy going on with Felix' well... Id say betrayal but for that Felix would have had to have been on their side and Felix doesnt seem to be interested in LB and CNs miraculous anyway. Sole Crusher and Queen Banana- Zoe my beloathed, also Id watch Chloes movie over whatever garbage they were actually filming any day, a chaotic bad movie is always better than a boring one.

I couldnt finish Qilin or simpleman and I dont wanna waste energy on them

[frenchphobic]

long fucking post on why a c!dream is a shitty person and probably should not have a redemption because it is unpog

honestly i just want to refute dream apologists thats why im making this post. i think that dream as a villain is interesting but i think that trying to make him out to be secretly a good guy is just bad ngl. also /roleplay and all

tw for abuse and mentions of suicide

dream as a villain

dream is a villain. he is chaotic evil according to wilbur, deliberately does not stream to appear less sympathetic (and yet), and is set up as an antagonist to tommy who bears the title ‘hero’. dream is not a good person, no matter how you look at it or try to justify his actions.

‘but he wants to unite everyone to be a big family :((’ the ends dont justify the means believe it or not. having a vaguely positive goal does not excuse the actions you’ve done. it also goes hand and hand with saying dream is correct for punishing tommy the way he did because he acted up. if i socked you across the face and then suddenly said ‘sorry there was a roach on ur face’ does that make it okay? probably not i still punched you, enacting an unnecessary amount of violence. thats a very simple analogy i will admit and there are more complex comparisons. another example off the top of my head is say a child just scribbled all over you walls with crayons. would hitting them be a justified answer? if u said hes thats really fucked of u go seek help u loon. violence as a punishment is very toxic, just because it gets the job done does not mean it is okay. at the end of the day, you still committed this act and the harm you caused is real, having a good motive doesnt suddenly make it okay.

‘but tommy causes all of the conflict’ the disk war wasnt even caused by tommy, it was sapnap and then tommy got involved. and the reason why tommy even caused conflict was because of the discs, because he wanted them back. and most of the time there was a level of antagonism from another party, such as schlatt exiling him, dream taking the disks in the first place, dream threatening l’manberg. and if dream wanted to end the conflict so badly, why didnt he just give tommy back his disks? tommy upfront said everything started with the disks, so he wants them back so he could end the conflict. notice how after tommy got his disks back he has been staying out of conflict, apologizing to everyone, and the only bad thing hes done is try to scam people but everyone does that. this would have been the most peaceful option, yet dream chose the path that would further antagonize tommy which then draws everyone else into conflict. why did dream need to have leverage over tommy so badly? why did he want to hold power over tommy so badly? its because of control, and that’s ultimately dreams end goal. sure he wants a big server family, but would said family have a free will?

‘but dream is sad’ the thing is dream is completely at fault for everything that happened to him. he pushed away sapnap (and george ig). he tried to take control over the server and their possessions. literally everything that happened to tommy. literally everything involving ranboo. villains can be sympathetic, i am not arguing against that. but it does not mean that they should be left off the hook. that doesnt mean u should ignore the shit theyve done because ‘oh no theyre sad’ because it doesnt make anything better. dream had this shit coming for him.

now people also skirt around calling dream an abuser. which is fair ig, its a very loaded word. its much easier to say manipulated. that being said, dream can classify as abusive. and no, tommy is not abusive. abuse is about control and a power imbalance. dream has power over tommy, but tommy does not have power over dream, at least not in the way dream does. he’s taking back power to stand up for himself, dream uses power to control.

the reasons i listed for why dream is from the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project so if u want a source on that, there you go.

using coercion or threats: dream often threatened tommy, such as the pit thing and often employed violence on him. while normally this could be attributed to Normal Minecraft Player Go Smack. minecraft mechanics cannot always translate to real world since violence is pretty normal in minecraft however we also need to consider the context of the scene. dream gave an order, tommy refused, dream applies violence, tommy submitted. thats why its a threat, it has tangible effects that can correlate to real life.

using intimidation: dream blew up logsteadshire as a punishment. dream also destroyed tommys items anytime he visited. dream also hit tommy with his axe i believe. he killed mushroom henry, one of tommys pets.

Using Emotional Abuse: dream guiltripped the shit out of tommy for just hiding things and pinning the blame on tommy for just wanting his own private items. he definitely played mind games on tommy, pretending to be his friend. honestly i probably dont even need to go as in depth because it was so obvious.

Using Isolation: putting him in exile in the first place. destroying the bether portal so no one could visit tommy anymore. i really dont think i need to expand upon that.

Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming: dream in tommys stream when he got trapped said that exile wasnt that bad. he does shift the blame onto tommy for logsteadshire being blown up, even though dreams reaction was entirely unjustified for not listening and hiding.

Using Economic Abuse: see this is where i attempt to parallel minecraft mechanics to real life. obviously, there is no monetary system in place, so when i mean economic, i will use valuables such as armor, food, etc in place of currency. the idea behind economic abuse is to limit the victim’s resources so that they are dependent on the abuser and cannot escape. dream only really allowed tommy to have the armor he gave him while not giving access to armor so he does not regain a sense of power, and in the prison stream, dream holds all the potatoes which puts him in a position of power over tommy. this argument is more ambiguous i feel cause the whole minecraft mechanics thing is kinda weird so u don’t necessarily have to take this part in.

i feel like i need to emphasize this very strongly because dream is not a good person. abuse cannot and should not be a response to someone. its an awful mentality to have. i just want to prove the point that dream is not a good person, his reasons absolutely do not justify his actions.

what makes a good redemption

redemption arcs are tricky. when done right they are great. when done poorly, its a slap in the face. rn im going to establish a formula to what makes a good redemption with an example.

the most well known example of a good redemption is zuko from atla. first, its the magnitude of what theyve done and why. zuko did commit some shitty actions, since he was in a position of power in the fire nation but its because he is a child being abused and wanted to regain honor. zukos real awful acts was season 1 and the whole betrayal thing. thats not to say that zukos actions suddenly are okay, he did shitty things. but its something that can be traced to a higher entity or seem less malicious then the other villains. the thing also about the magnitude of actions is that there is a certain point of atrocities that there is no redemption. some people simply cannot be redeemed because the actions they commit are so ingrained in their character or the action itself has serious moral issues that it would just be wrong.

the next is acknowleding what they did was wrong. a genuine reflection on the self and analyzing what they did and why it was not okay. zuko realized what he did to uncle iroh was bad for example. he turned his back on his father, realizing he didnt and shouldnt seek acknowledgment from someone as heinous as him. its pointing out your actions and going ‘hey, this wasnt right i should not have done this’ and not even excusing ur actions. its also going straight for the root of the problem and figuring out to stamp it from the source. just because a character is sad does not mean they are reflecting, sometimes they are attempting to garner pity. it has to be direct and clear acknowledgement of the injustice.

and finally, an important part about redemption arcs is the actual redemption part. its when you make amends. zuko made amends with katara by trying to help her get revenge, he fought against the fire nation and tried to make things more peaceful in his rule. he apologized to iroh. an important part of the amends section is that it does have to be a genuine desire to change and become a better person, not to change a person’s perception of you. the thing is u cant expect a person youve hurt to forgive you. you cant expect people to be sympathetic towards you nor should u attempt to make urself sympathetic. u shouldnt be expecting a pat on the back or an award. redemption is about internal and character change.

why dream should not be redeemed

ive already established the key points to a good redemption (imo) but heres where dream falls short. his actions are extremely heavy so redemption may not even really be possible. abuse is not something you can wave off so it does cross to the point of fucked up. acknowledgement of what he did was wrong? all he said was that he changed, yet never explained why he changed or was too vague. he needed to label specifically what he did and bring it up. attempting to make amends? he’s been doing the exact opposite in fact he continues to manipulate tommy and ranboo. its not a genuine change. he is still repeating the cycle and has given no indication of ceasing. at the moment he does not have any signs of redemption.

and the thing is most of the attention around a dream redemption comes from either justifying his motives (which i do want to emphasize does not make anything suddenly okay) and because he is sad in prison sad face. these are not good reasons. its gonna pain me severely to bring this up but snape from harry potter does have some form of sad character ig yet he very much abused his authority to bully children as old as 11 just because he said ‘aight gonna die’ doesnt suddenly make his general bigotry and abuse suddenly okay there is a threshold. again im so sorry for using harry potter as an example none were coming to mind and i needed a popular one i do not like harry potter please dont say i do i would pass away.

and the last thing to consider is the audience. keep in mind that the audience is composed of minors and while yes there are adults, minors are the main component of the fandom. keep in mind that there are quite a few people who can relate to tommys character because they might be in the same position or have gone through his experiences. tell me what kind of message does it send to that audience that abusers can be redeemed. this is not a narrative u should push to this audience in these situations and the writers are seemingly aware of it. remember how in exile tommy spiraled into a suicidal mentality? consider how fucked of a message it would be if he just committed suicide instead of escaping abuse and attempting to recover from his experiences. tommy did an excellent job in not going that route and having a message of ‘it will not get better’. its the same thing here. victims are not obligated to care for or forgive their abuser, and portraying an abuser as sympathetic might fuck with the message a lot, even change their perception in that ‘oh, maybe my abuser was right, maybe they had a reason for treating me the way they did’. this is not to say that every victim watching this will internalize this message, but people also look up to these characters. there can be a degree of influence from the story onto oneself and thats the dangerous part.

conclusion

all in all dream is a shitbag asshole and probably shouldnt get a redemption because it would not be pog thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[neoraso]

royal guard!minho

requested | some gender neutral hc for how he starts to wish he was maybe more than just a guard to you 

to put things lightly, minho was the ace of your entire guard

like he was better than anyone …at everything

so originally he was on (your father) the king’s immediate guard

he was nothing but professional and saved the king too many times to count even from like stepping on rocks idk 

when you turned like 17 and had to do more public appearances obv u were in a lot more danger so ur father jumped at having minho reassigned to u as the head of your personal guard “nothing but the best for his child”

the first time you met him… he only nodded or said yes or no to everything u asked him n ur jus like ok not much of a talker that’s not so bad ig haha ʕʘ‿ʘʔ

he was so quiet and “polite” for months despite you constantly trying to get something out of him

ur other guards always tried not to laugh bc if only u knew he had like two friends and was generally a pretty serious guy

but one day there was a festival in your kingdom’s central city so obv you had to make an appearance which u were very excited abt bc you only get to go into town like twice a year and THIS was one of those times

being “of age” and that much closer to taking the throne you might as well have painted a big red target on your head to signal people against the throne

everything was going fine, everyone was having fun and you decided to visit some of the booths and musicians around the square

minho was already suspicious of the situation and tightens the rest of your guard without u evenn rlly noticing but like

just as you turned to show these cute little candies to minho to maybe get a reaction for once -

the second he looks at you, someone moves to grab you but the flash of a knife in his other hand causes minho to jump immediately into action

honestly who knows what rlly happened minho moved so damn fast but the next thing you know, ur in the middle of your whole guard squad

looking through the gaps of their shoulders you see minho pinning down your assailant with a blade against his neck waiting for someone to arrest him even though he rlly wanted to just execute the guy right there 

the festivities were kind of killed for u after that bc you and your family were rushed back home which u might’ve been more sad abt if u werent in so much shock :<

obv minho was the one to escort you back but like all he said was “you’re okay?” and after u dumbly nodded with wide eyes he walked with you but kept a hand around your shoulder

no one really talked after that which wasn’t unusual for him but in his mind he was rlly like 

“?? ok i know its literally my job to protect this family but?? hm whyyyy do i seem to care sm more rnnn??//?” help him sdhskjd

u just looked so shaken up and disappointed and suddenly he was like damn </3 they rlly have no fun in their life and this one time they could was ruined :///

u had to stay inside for weeks after that bc it turns out there was a whole conspiracy to “eliminate” your family line so you waited in safety until the criminals were “taken care of” 

minho had everything triple checked around the castle for your safety and secretly made sure you had extra treats and warm drinks sent to your room sometimes with little notes that he had the cook pretend to have sent because lately he’d heard you had trouble sleeping sometimes he’s shy boy aw

he started to realize how much he had gotten used to your smile and your little jokes and the way you sometimes tripped on the corners of rugs. and he thought maybe it was a good thing you guys didnt have many interactions lately because he was way too attached

you on the other hand, couldnt even rlly complain about having to stay inside so much bc you had everything you needed and- you knew it was for ur safety but- it wassss kind of suffocating at times

u tried sneaking out at first ((just to the garden!!)) which obviously was a bad idea bc it’s impossible to get past minhos fcking hawk eyes lmao

he STILL didnt say anything like he would just follow right behind you

n like u kinda huffed but whatever honestly at least it was just him and not 15 other guards like everyone acted like you needed

plus it was somewhat comforting to have someone so solid around even if he never talked smh

one night you sat near the little pond and tried to calm your mind by watching how the moonlight rippled in the water

you can feel him behind you so u just turn around and look at him ignoring how he was already looking at you

 “would you at least sit with me?”

he kind of hesitates bc …what if someone tried to come up behind you? but with the sad look on your face he cant help but give in and sits on the stone bench at the opposite end of you

it becomes actually somewhat peaceful until you just decide to ask everything you’ve been wondering n u just blurt out-

“would it kill you to talk with me once in a while? i mean, talk like a normal person and not a machine? i dont bite i promise..”

he furrows his brow bc he’s shocked you cared at all and also he doesnt rlly know how to respond without being like “its not really in my job description to make conversation” but he honestly just thought you were being talkative out of niceties.

 before he could even form a sentence you continued,

“i mean- i’m always trying to get your attention. i dont get to meet many people for obvious reasons but my guards are the closest people to me-literally, and i dont want there to be a big gap between us just because of my status..”

he cuts you off before you ramble yourself to death 

“i didn’t know you were this troubled by it… i just take my job very seriously and i dont want to risk anyone’s safety for the sake of conversation”

u almost roll ur eyes but not wanting to be rude ur just like “even at home? i know you’re serious about your duties, believe me, i just… i get lonely.”

smthing inside him literally breakkkssss when you say that like u are such a pure and sweet person that deserves to have all the love and friends and fun in the world so he just gets quiet for a second and looks down

“im sorry.” he said it so softly you almost didnt hear him “i’ll be there for you more- if thats what you need. im essentially in charge of your safety and care and i’ll do anything to fulfill that responsibility.”

ok.

well this was good right? so why did you still feel unsatisfied?

“i dont want to just be a responsibility, cant we just be like friends? or…”

you cut yourself off before talking too much again

you had to admit to yourself you had developed a bit of a liking for minho, not just because he was probably the most handsome person in your kingdom, not even just because he saved your life, but he had really been a pillar of security in your life and you respected his loyalty and ambition.

he was more than admirable and everything you wanted as a standard for your kingdom

sometimes you let your mind wander to him getting on one knee and leading alongside you..

no, now youre getting sidetracked and delusional and he can practically hear the gears turning in your head so he stands up and reaches his hand out for you to grab 

“of course you’re more than a responsibility to me, come on, lets go inside it’s getting cold.’

taking his hand and realizing the conversation was over, you moved to link arms instead  as he walked you all the way to your bedroom door 

u slept a lot better that night 

from that point on you could not get rid of minho 

like everyone was borderline uncomfortable with how jarring his change in attitude was 

like he was constantly behind you looking right over your shoulder or grabbing your arm to stop you from bumping into things

even when he wasnt technically on duty he had taken it upon himself to give you little lessons in archery and even some defensive moves to help you protect yourself in case someone wasnt fast enough to help you 

your tried not to get flustered every time he adjusted your form and the way you could feel his breath behind your ear

or the head pats when he walked you to your room at night

or his hand on your back when you guys would take walks in the garden

honestly it did not take long until one night you were sat next to your pond and after some comfortable small talk you noticed how close his face was to yours

but he noticed you didn’t pull away even as he leaned in closer and finally just kissed you

when he pulled away and saw your eyes still closed and how soft you looked his heart almost exploded

“i didnt mean to make things weird i just,, couldnt help myself, sorry”

his rushed confession pulls you out of your daze and you’re so happy (a little shocked) but you’re quick to reassure him

“it’s ok, i’ve been wanting you to do that for a while …”

he’s jus like “rlly?😳”

obviously this complicates things a lot and you aren’t really sure if you would even be allowed to have a relationship with minho bc of ur position

or if he would get in trouble for breaking the rules of attachment to u

all of this is kind of racing thru both of ur minds as you look at each other but you laugh after u both start talking at the same time

you prod him to go first so he grabs your hands and says like

“look i care about you a lot, and i know we’re not really supposed to be doing this but if i can be by your side … beyond my duties…i would really love to. but if we can’t, i can survive with just being here to protect and serve you in anyway i can”

he’s so honest and genuine and earnest it shocked u a little

even tho you were uncertain abt the situation as well you knew you had grown a little too fond and dependent on minho that you would do anything to make it work

luckily an arranged marriage was not required for you so that wasnt really the issue, but falling in love with someone not at all royal..? it was a daunting thought how the idea would be perceived 

you wouldnt have said anything if you both weren’t completely sure of your feelings;  but you really could not imagine being content or safe spending your life with anyone else so you mustered up the courage to ask the king and queen…

when you brought it up to your parents they looked pretty concerned

minho went on the whole “i’ll do anything to protect them and this kingdom” speech and your father just waved him off and was like

“i know u would …. i’ll allow it because there’s really no one better to represent the kingdom and because i want only the best for my child ;)”

u and minho were literally in shock but just quietly said thank u and left the room

when you had privacy he immediately pulled you in for a kiss (maybe several all over ur face)

you had a lot to figure out and many responsibilities but now you had an amazing person by your side to help you through it :.) <3