#they need to be guided regularly to get things done

[toastess-with-the-mostess]

Lion placements? Don't mind if I do!

Black lion: Jay goes here as the team doesn't often fight his plans and while he gets caught up in his work sometimes (a la vf Keith) he does care about his team and doing right by them

Red lion: Theresa! Jay barely gets ideas from anybody else when it comes to the next step in his plans, and she always hops in with something, especially if it's from her visions. She's a great fighter and is pretty hot headed if we specifically look at phantom rising, also again with the instincts guiding her and those count her 6th sense

Green lion: Atlanta! Green is pretty vague over what kind of lion they are (ex red is fire, blue is water) but we essentially get confirmation in v3d that green is the lion of life/nature! Nobody else is as connected to it as Atlanta is, she's a hunter, but she's also an environmentalist. Comparing her to Pidge, he wasn't always the genius of the team, he was just a kid with a big heart who always wanted to do good for others and have a good time. Though we could also argue that green represents curiosity since vld described something similar and only THEN will agree to Odie being there but as a co-pilot for Atlanta

Blue Lion: in a five-man team, one of them is ALWAYS the heart, what keeps the team together. Unfortunately, in COTT, the entire team is split up, and they seem like they're only there to fulfill their destiny and not because they chose to stick it out for their friends. However, only Neil shows the ability to be this, he was the last person for the team to find to make them complete, though he's narcissistic he isn't uncaring and often goes into the fight to protect the team and sacrifices what's important to him to make sure everyone comes out okay. Also, literally all of Golden Boy showing character development for him in this direction

Yellow Lion: through vld allura we learn that yellow like is the most caring and kind, able to take the most for others and support them through time times. That sounds like Herry because he's always there to help out and is a big softie <3, but this also includes Archie as a co-pilot in my eyes. He's hot headed sure but so was dotu hunk because he always got angry when something went against his morals of protecting those who can't protect themselves. In little box of horrors, Archie releases a little hope in the world and puts himself on the line not just to save hope but to help Atlanta who was slowly dying

this is also kind of ignoring the supporting role that allura originally had and coran who was an advisor but nobody fits those roles so until im convinced otherwise they're open

Voltron AU

So yeah. With the Vancouver VOs being in Voltron Force (2011) as well, this should be around sooner than later. Anyways, on with the thing.

Jay - black lion, since black is always the leader

Herry - yellow, fitting as well, since Ty Olsson did Hunk

Odie - green, since it's usually the bookish one. Plus Doron did Vince. Vince was a cadet, but after Pidge retired, Vince became the new Green pilot

Archie - red, since it fits his temper

Neil - I want to say blue, but water doesn't exactly fit Neil. So yeah... I could put in Atlanta, or Theresa, since sometimes Allura is usually the blue pilot. Oh, yeah and then there was Sven. All up in the air...

[bookishdiplodocus]

The Neurodivergent Writer’s Guide to Fun and Productivity

(Even when life beats you down)

Look, I’m a mom, I have ADHD, I’m a spoonie. To say that I don’t have heaps of energy to spare and I struggle with consistency is an understatement. For years, I tried to write consistently, but I couldn’t manage to keep up with habits I built and deadlines I set.

So fuck neurodivergent guides on building habits, fuck “eat the frog first”, fuck “it’s all in the grind”, and fuck “you just need time management”—here is how I manage to write often and a lot.

Focus on having fun, not on the outcome

This was the groundwork I had to lay before I could even start my streak. At an online writing conference, someone said: “If you push yourself and meet your goals, and you publish your book, but you haven’t enjoyed the process… What’s the point?” and hoo boy, that question hit me like a truck.

I was so caught up in the narrative of “You’ve got to show up for what’s important” and “Push through if you really want to get it done”. For a few years, I used to read all these productivity books about grinding your way to success, and along the way I started using the same language as they did. And I notice a lot of you do so, too.

But your brain doesn’t like to grind. No-one’s brain does, and especially no neurodivergent brain. If having to write gives you stress or if you put pressure on yourself for not writing (enough), your brain’s going to say: “Huh. Writing gives us stress, we’re going to try to avoid it in the future.”

So before I could even try to write regularly, I needed to teach my brain once again that writing is fun. I switched from countable goals like words or time to non-countable goals like “fun” and “flow”.

Rewire my brain: writing is fun and I’m good at it

I used everything I knew about neuroscience, psychology, and social sciences. These are some of the things I did before and during a writing session. Usually not all at once, and after a while I didn’t need these strategies anymore, although I sometimes go back to them when necessary.

I journalled all the negative thoughts I had around writing and try to reason them away, using arguments I knew in my heart were true. (The last part is the crux.) Imagine being supportive to a writer friend with crippling insecurities, only the friend is you.

Not setting any goals didn’t work for me—I still nurtured unwanted expectations. So I did set goals, but made them non-countable, like “have fun”, “get in the flow”, or “write”. Did I write? Yes. Success! Your brain doesn’t actually care about how high the goal is, it cares about meeting whatever goal you set.

I didn’t even track how many words I wrote. Not relevant.

I set an alarm for a short time (like 10 minutes) and forbade myself to exceed that time. The idea was that if I write until I run out of mojo, my brain learns that writing drains the mojo. If I write for 10 minutes and have fun, my brain learns that writing is fun and wants to do it again.

Reinforce the fact that writing makes you happy by rewarding your brain immediately afterwards. You know what works best for you: a walk, a golden sticker, chocolate, cuddle your dog, whatever makes you happy.

I conditioned myself to associate writing with specific stimuli: that album, that smell, that tea, that place. Any stimulus can work, so pick one you like. I consciously chose several stimuli so I could switch them up, and the conditioning stays active as long as I don’t muddle it with other associations.

Use a ritual to signal to your brain that Writing Time is about to begin to get into the zone easier and faster. I guess this is a kind of conditioning as well? Meditation, music, lighting a candle… Pick your stimulus and stick with it.

Specifically for rewiring my brain, I started a new WIP that had no emotional connotations attached to it, nor any pressure to get finished or, heaven forbid, meet quality norms. I don’t think these techniques above would have worked as well if I had applied them on writing my novel.

It wasn’t until I could confidently say I enjoyed writing again, that I could start building up a consistent habit. No more pushing myself.

I lowered my definition for success

When I say that nowadays I write every day, that’s literally it. I don’t set out to write 1,000 or 500 or 10 words every day (tried it, failed to keep up with it every time)—the only marker for success when it comes to my streak is to write at least one word, even on the days when my brain goes “naaahhh”. On those days, it suffices to send myself a text with a few keywords or a snippet. It’s not “success on a technicality (derogatory)”, because most of those snippets and ideas get used in actual stories later. And if they don’t, they don’t. It’s still writing. No writing is ever wasted.

A side note on high expectations, imposter syndrome, and perfectionism

Obviously, “Setting a ridiculously low goal” isn’t something I invented. I actually got it from those productivity books, only I never got it to work. I used to tell myself: “It’s okay if I don’t write for an hour, because my goal is to write for 20 minutes and if I happen to keep going for, say, an hour, that’s a bonus.” Right? So I set the goal for 20 minutes, wrote for 35 minutes, and instead of feeling like I exceeded my goal, I felt disappointed because apparently I was still hoping for the bonus scenario to happen. I didn’t know how to set a goal so low and believe it.

I think the trick to making it work this time lies more in the groundwork of training my brain to enjoy writing again than in the fact that my daily goal is ridiculously low. I believe I’m a writer, because I prove it to myself every day. Every success I hit reinforces the idea that I’m a writer. It’s an extra ward against imposter syndrome.

Knowing that I can still come up with a few lines of dialogue on the Really Bad Days—days when I struggle to brush my teeth, the day when I had a panic attack in the supermarket, or the day my kid got hit by a car—teaches me that I can write on the mere Bad-ish Days.

The more I do it, the more I do it

The irony is that setting a ridiculously low goal almost immediately led to writing more and more often. The most difficult step is to start a new habit. After just a few weeks, I noticed that I needed less time and energy to get into the zone. I no longer needed all the strategies I listed above.

Another perk I noticed, was an increased writing speed. After just a few months of writing every day, my average speed went from 600 words per hour to 1,500 wph, regularly exceeding 2,000 wph without any loss of quality.

Talking about quality: I could see myself becoming a better writer with every passing month. Writing better dialogue, interiority, chemistry, humour, descriptions, whatever: they all improved noticeably, and I wasn’t a bad writer to begin with.

The increased speed means I get more done with the same amount of energy spent. I used to write around 2,000-5,000 words per month, some months none at all. Nowadays I effortlessly write 30,000 words per month. I didn’t set out to write more, it’s just a nice perk.

Look, I’m not saying you should write every day if it doesn’t work for you. My point is: the more often you write, the easier it will be.

No pressure

Yes, I’m still working on my novel, but I’m not racing through it. I produce two or three chapters per month, and the rest of my time goes to short stories my brain keeps projecting on the inside of my eyelids when I’m trying to sleep. I might as well write them down, right?

These short stories started out as self-indulgence, and even now that I take them more seriously, they are still just for me. I don’t intend to ever publish them, no-one will ever read them, they can suck if they suck. The unintended consequence was that my short stories are some of my best writing, because there’s no pressure, it’s pure fun.

Does it make sense to spend, say, 90% of my output on stories no-one else will ever read? Wouldn’t it be better to spend all that creative energy and time on my novel? Well, yes. If you find the magic trick, let me know, because I haven’t found it yet. The short stories don’t cannibalize on the novel, because they require different mindsets. If I stopped writing the short stories, I wouldn’t produce more chapters. (I tried. Maybe in the future? Fingers crossed.)

Don’t wait for inspiration to hit

There’s a quote by Picasso: “Inspiration hits, but it has to find you working.” I strongly agree. Writing is not some mystical, muse-y gift, it’s a skill and inspiration does exist, but usually it’s brought on by doing the work. So just get started and inspiration will come to you.

Accountability and community

Having social factors in your toolbox is invaluable. I have an offline writing friend I take long walks with, I host a monthly writing club on Discord, and I have another group on Discord that holds me accountable every day. They all motivate me in different ways and it’s such a nice thing to share my successes with people who truly understand how hard it can be.

The productivity books taught me that if you want to make a big change in your life or attitude, surrounding yourself with people who already embody your ideal or your goal huuuugely helps. The fact that I have these productive people around me who also prioritize writing, makes it easier for me to stick to my own priorities.

Your toolbox

The idea is to have several techniques at your disposal to help you stay consistent. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket by focussing on just one technique. Keep all of them close, and if one stops working or doesn’t inspire you today, pivot and pick another one.

After a while, most “tools” run in the background once they are established. Things like surrounding myself with my writing friends, keeping up with my daily streak, and listening to the album I conditioned myself with don’t require any energy, and they still remain hugely beneficial.

Do you have any other techniques? I’d love to hear about them!

I hope this was useful. Happy writing!

[malusokay]

becoming a better student ₊˚⊹♡

Prepare for your classes ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Wake up on time. We don't want to be stressed first thing in the morning, right?

Eat breakfast. So you will be able to better focus in class.

Assigned reading and homework. Make sure you are prepared for your classes!! :)

Review your notes. Going through some of your flashcards before class is really helpful.

Check your bag and charge your devices. Ensure you have everything you need: Books, homework, chargers, pens, water...

In Class ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Listen and pay attention. You can save yourself a lot of trouble by simply paying attention, trust me.

Take notes. My favourite note-taking method is the Cornell method; I can make a separate post on that!! <3

"Quick notes." If you struggle with note-taking, try taking quick and messy notes. You can clean them up once you get home!!

Engage. If you have any questions or don't understand something, make sure to ask!! Most teachers really appreciate students who speak up. :)

No distractions. Turn off your phone, no chatting, you'll be glad...

After class ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Finish your assignments as soon as you can. Go home, put on a cosy outfit, have a snack, and get working!! <3

Prepare flash cards. A great way of reviewing your notes, too... :)

Update your Study schedule. Write down any assignment and due dates, reading you must do, upcoming tests, etc...

Clean up your notes. Review them, highlight the important parts, and maybe even make them look cute!! :)

Don't avoid topics/Subjects you dislike. I know it is tempting, but you can't avoid them forever, so you might as well get them done

Structure and routine ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Goals and Priorities. Keep them realistic and manageable.

Time management. Having a set schedule makes studying less overwhelming; it takes some discipline but is so worth it!! <3

Develop a routine. Figure out what works best for you; I prefer studying in the morning or at night.

No "zero days". Even if you can only do a bit, do it!! NO. ZERO. DAYS.

Remember your goals. Dreams will keep you motivated; remind yourself of what you're working for!! <3

Self-care and balance ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Don't forget about your hobbies. You need to do things that make you happy, so make time for those things!!

Maintain a balanced diet. I know chocolates and junk are tempting, especially when you are busy studying all day, but you're not doing yourself any favours.

Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. 8 Hours. Non-negotiable.

Exercise regularly. Even if it's just a walk, put on some headphones, listen to music, and give yourself a break. <3

Care for your social life. Reach out to your friends, make plans, and keep in touch; a good work-life balance is critical!!

Romanticising ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Study dates. Meet up with your friends at a cosy cafe, discuss your work, and have some fun!! Studying doesn't have to be all serious all the time ;)

Silly Pinterest boards. Visualising your goals will help you find motivation!!

Music to set the mood. I have a bunch of playlists on my Spotify that might help!! <3

Cosy sweater and candles. The cosy Rory Gilmore vibes haha...

Getting a coffee before class. A little treat before things get serious... Simple pleasures, you know? :)

Babes, The hiatus is OVER, and I'm finally back!! I got a lot of asks on studying, burnout, and school in general, so I thought, why not start off with a little student guide?? I Hope October has been kind to you, and school hasn't been too overwhelming (though I know it, unfortunately, has been for many of you), and I'm glad to finally be back!! <33

As always, Please feel free to add your own suggestions and tips in the comments!!

✩‧₊*:・love ya ･:*₊‧✩

[siyzuii]

shifting is self discovery.

excuse the yap but i think it’s very important that people realize how fundamental you are in your shifting journey and that you are literally the only thing you need to shift.

you do NOT need:

a method

subliminals

(guided) meditation

to look for advice hour after hour online

symptoms

the void state

lucid dreaming

to visualize

to use your 5 senses

a script

you DO need:

yourself

you can say fuck you to the universe, doubt as much as you want, and still shift. i say that because i’ve done it before even with doubts! so you can too!

“how do i shift?”

every time someone asks this i lose 5 years off my life span. i can’t determine that for you, nobody can. i can tell you what has personally worked for me and so can others, but there’s no guarantee it’ll work for you.

“so what do i do?”

sounds a bit harsh but you figure it out. and that’s what i mean by self-discovery.

of course, you can & should see what other people are doing to create a base line of what you think could work for you. for example try getting into the void state, see what happens from there. doesn’t work or you don’t like it? (because that obviously won’t do the same thing for everyone) try something else!

play around. add new things into the mix. affirmations. intention. you can visualize or use your 5 senses. keyword can. you don’t have to. because what do i think works the best? minding your business and shifting your own way.

remember that you can literally just say “fuck you i want to shift” and shift. you can shift accidentally. so who’s to say what you’re doing doesn’t work? (if it really doesn’t then you can adjust it slightly. look back on your behavior and think about what you want to change.)

seriously!

you can shift:

tired

awake

asleep

in the hypnagogic state (the state of the transition from wakefulness to sleep)

in the hypnopompic state (the state of consciousness leading out of sleep)

while dancing

sitting

standing

laying down

on the floor

accidentally

through a lucid dream

with doubts

and so much more i didn’t mention. seriously no need to overcomplicate it.

just remember that other peoples’ shifting journeys are not yours and that you’re the most important part of your own.

you are what makes you shift.

it’s not your subliminals or your method or whatever, it’s you. YOUUUU. subliminals? “methods”? those things? just helpful tools. they can HELP you shift, but there’s no guarantee.

for example, i personally have been getting more effective results after listening to specific subliminals regularly (psst.. i make sure they’re safe! to check if they are safe, look at the comments around the page and if you’re still not sure and you feel uneasy then do not use the subliminal. if it makes you feel unsafe or weird then do not use it. always read the benefits or what you can find in the description.) it works for me. it got me results (along with other stuff) but it might not give them to you and that’s okay. you don’t have to use subs.

just a reminder that you don’t need anything but yourself to shift <3

it’s self discovery because you’re learning from it and actively finding out (discovering) what works for you.

your shifting journey is yours so don’t make it rely on what someone else does.

THERE’S NO KEY TO SHIFTING EXCEPT YOURSELF.

[ceilidho]

prompt: price/reader bear shifter fic. PART 2. (part 1 here)

-

The urge sits right under his skin.

It’s a month out from hibernation, the torpor not quite sunk in all the way just yet. Plenty of time still to stockpile supplies, train the new rangers before his leave of absence, and chop all the firewood needed for the winter months. Plenty of time on the surface, that is—with only a month left to go, John quietly acknowledges to himself that maybe he bit off more than he could chew this time around. 

It’s exhausting work though. The new batch of recruits are fresh-faced, hardly experienced enough yet to last the season without him, but he hadn’t had much choice with Gaz taking the year off to go back to school. He’s been regularly putting in sixty to seventy hour weeks, hardly leaving him any time to cook or clean or prep for hibernation. Time goes by in a flash. He hasn’t even done a quarter of the repairs around the house that he’d wanted to finish before slipping into the winter torpor.

Hard to figure it out. He’s been putting it off without a real reason, getting lost in the forest for long swaths of time, trudging through the new snow up high in the mountains. Hardly ever in his bear form, conscious of not totally giving over to the animal, but occasionally he can’t help slipping into like tumbling down a snowbank, just losing his footing for a moment and sliding, sliding, sliding until hours have passed and he finally hears his own chuffs and feels branches crack under the weight of his paws.

He winces when he turns back, bones creaking and cracking back into place. 

John has been smelling something around town for weeks now, something sweet and delicate like sap over a branch, but work has left him too busy to start anything. Instead he stops by the grocers every other day, where the scent is strongest, to pick up miscellaneous items. Canned soup here, steaks there. He stockpiles canned and tinned goods in his den, preparing for the long winter when he’s lulled into sleep for extended periods of time, but every time he enters his den, it feels oddly bereft. Empty. Missing something.

The month or so before hibernation always leaves him feeling groggy and laconic; it makes his eyes go half-lidded and his speech descend into grunts and one-worded answers. He spends so many weeks hoarding food and blankets and firewood for the brief moments when he wakes that he can’t stop himself from eyeing even the pretty cashier like another thing to hoard.

He holds himself back, but just.

John wakes up on the couch after a particularly rough shift, groggy and out of sorts. Flecks of sleep stuck in the corners of his eyes still. He’d run into another bear (a real one) on the trail hassling a couple hikers during his shift and it’d taken a couple stressful minutes to gently guide the hikers away before dealing with the bear himself. It’s easier to deal with them in his bear skin, but he generally avoids shifting in the month leading up to hibernation for a reason. It settles him deeper into his bear, draws the sleep closer.

He’s full of cuts and bruises, his side covered in a barely healed, particularly nasty gash, the flesh knitting itself together slowly. His stomach growls. He hadn’t had a chance to cook himself any supper when he got home before collapsing on the couch—had barely eaten lunch as well. That’s part and parcel of his way of life; even during the summer, the days had been long, extending well into the twilight hours. 

And bears need food. John burns calories faster than most, an enormous amount of energy expended when shifting into his other form. He’s a familiar face at every restaurant, grocery store, and market in town for a reason, even if that reason isn’t widely known. In the summer, there was at least some time during the day to gorge himself on berries or fish from a nearby stream, but the berries and fish have long disappeared with the coming of winter. It shouldn’t come as a surprise—hunger dominates his mind during the months leading up to winter—but it’s somehow caught him off guard this year. 

His head perks up when the doorbell rings. 

It doesn’t ring again, but he can hear someone on the other side of his front door, shifting from foot to foot. John isn’t expecting anyone and doesn’t remember inviting anyone over, but he gets up anyway to answer the door. 

There’s a pretty little thing waiting for him on his front porch with a bowl of stew and homemade sourdough bread. He recognizes her from the grocery store, the sweet smelling thing always looking over at him from the till. 

“Sorry to trouble you,” she says, peeking around him. Probably trying to be inconspicuous. 

It slots something in his chest into the right place. He shifts slightly to let her peer over his shoulder into the empty house; no wife or kids scurrying behind him. It eases some of the tension in her shoulders.

“No trouble,” John says. “What’s got you on my doorstep after hours bringing over supper?”

She’s exquisitely shy, almost nervous when she steps from foot to foot before holding the food out closer to him. He takes it, if only to avoid watching her strain. In his hands, it smells entirely too good; makes his mouth water. His bear huffs in his head. John can’t remember the last time he had a home-cooked meal. Certainly not since well before his mother passed. 

“You seemed like—I saw you come home. You looked dead on your feet, so I thought…well, I’d already made soup, so it wasn’t much trouble.”

“You saw me come home?” he repeats.

“Oh, I, uh—I live next door.”

“That so?”

She flushes prettily, just the slightest deepening of the colour over her cheekbones. “Yeah. Six months now. Moved in just before the summer. Anyway, I, well…sorry if you were in the middle of supper, I wasn’t sure if—I heard from Kate that you’ve been busy, so I thought you might appreciate not having to cook.”

“That’s mighty kind of you,” he says. There’s a pause where neither of them say anything. “Can I—I have, uh, a bowl in the kitchen if you want—”

She holds up her hands at that, taking a step back. “Oh no, sorry, I don’t want to…I don’t mean to intrude. I just thought I’d…you know…friendly neighbour and all.”

“It’s no trouble, really. Come inside.”

“No, I—I really have to get going,” she insists, finally turning away from him and descending back down the stairs. “Enjoy your supper!”

He watches her turn and scurry off back to her house, glancing down back once only to give a little start when she catches him still watching her. His nose twitches when he notices that even with the tupperware stacked in his hands, the distinct sweetness that had been hovering outside his door gradually dissipates in his neighbour’s absence. 

His bear rumbles inside his chest. 

In the mountains, he ruminates on his neighbour’s small kindness. It builds in his chest like a slow burning fire when he stands in the brisk cold and stares down into the valley below. The snow squeaks under his boots on the hike back down. The ache of hunger echoes through him again; he thinks of tupperware offered to him in two soft hands. Next time, he’ll invite her in. 

He’s pleasantly surprised when she comes by again not a few days later, this time bringing along with her a pan filled with berry cobbler, tinfoil crinkling under her fingers when she hands him the entire pan. The next day, she stops by with a jar of homemade apple cider. 

It takes awhile for John to coax her inside. She brushes off his invitations to join him for supper for days before he notices the cracks in her resolve. She lingers on the porch for longer than she should, body oriented towards his house even when she says that she has to go. John considers for all of a few seconds just dragging her inside, but there’s something immensely rewarding in reeling her in slowly. A slow hunt and the promise of a meal so decadent that it leaves his tongue heavy in his mouth.

When she finally concedes, his blood roars hot, the beast in his chest thickly nuzzled under his skin, satisfied. 

She’s skittish in his house. Hardly stays for more than ten minutes the first time he succeeds in getting her in. Just long enough to take a couple bites out of the gingerbread loaf that she’d brought over and he’d cut a few slices off before retracing her steps back to the front door. John holds back the instinctive urge to follow her and trap her in with a hand flat on the door when she tries to open it. It’s better to earn her trust. 

His interest just goes up and up as she continues feeding him throughout the week. Perfect mate keeping his belly full, keeping him nourished after a hard day’s work. She keeps him company on the couch when he invites her over on the weekend, dragging her little socked feet over the carpet and snuggling up on the other side of the couch like he might reach out and grab her. He might.

Part of John can’t believe that he’s been living beside this girl for going on six months and never scented her before. It permeates his house now, baked into the walls and carpet. He wishes sometimes she’d stop by and use his bed for a nap, if only so that he could come home to a bed smelling of her; he’d wrap a firm hand around his cock with the scent of her under his nose and tug himself off with his face pressed to his pillow, imagining her trapped under him, the plush pillows of her ass turned up to let him rut between her thighs. 

Her feeding him and spending time with him is confusing though. It confuses his bear, who associates all those things with mate. It’s nature to want to keep the thing feeding him. 

So he can’t help the way his bear expects her now. When he wakes up in his bed without a smaller body tucked away in his arms, it leaves him foul-tempered, short with his men. Picking up groceries becomes more difficult than ever when he instinctively beelines to her when he walks through the automatic doors, pleasure coiling in his chest at the sight of her staring wide-eyed at him. Always a bit shy, even as it slowly melts from her like old snow. Timidity from a season ago, still frosted over but shrinking. 

He doesn’t stop himself from dragging her into his lap before passing out on the couch after a long day at work, leaving her befuddled and uncertain. His arms don’t let her up though; they keep her pinned to his chest until he wakes back up an hour later, nuzzling the bristles of his beard over the soft skin of her neck and dragging a big palm up the inside of her thigh, seeking out the warmth between her legs even half-asleep.

His hand pauses its upward trajectory when she shifts. He’s slow to come back to consciousness, but far slower to move his hand. Mate, his bear rumbles in his chest when his fingers dig into the clutch of her thighs and John hears her muffle a yip. She should be soft and pliable for him, should let him drag his hand up into the space between her legs that she’s kept hot and tender for his touch. 

John lets her pretend at sleep until he finally moves his hand away, moving to sit up and leaving her curled up on the couch. He goes off to the kitchen to put on the kettle and comes back to find her awake, stammering out an apology for falling asleep. 

“None of that,” he grumbles, setting two mugs down on the coffee table. He sits beside her before she gets the bright idea to get up and leave. 

“Sorry, I didn’t plan on staying this long. I should get back—”

“Someone waiting for you at home?” John interrupts, curt despite himself. 

The idea of her going home to someone instantly aggravates him. Even knowing for a fact that there isn’t a man living in her house doesn’t tamp down the anger. He’s scented the exterior of her house once or twice; John would’ve caught the smell of another man by now if there had ever been one living in her house. He’s held off marking her house with come or piss, but that might have to change if she keeps dangling the possibility of there being another man over his head.

It’s his fault for not marking her yet. The trees in the mountains have been marked up over the years that he’s lived in this town, deep gouges in the bark marking the forest as his territory, but he hasn’t yet rubbed his scent into his mate’s skin. It’s his fault she’s still acting like an unattached sow. 

She hesitates; risks lying to him. He can see it plain on her face. “…No.”

His face softens, eyebrows pulling together sympathetically. “I’m not such bad company, am I? Stay for a little longer—all that food’s gonna go to waste otherwise.”

“I—I guess I can.”

“Brilliant. Drink your tea, honey.”

She picks up her mug and sips it quietly while John shifts her feet into his lap and digs his thumbs into her right sole. He shushes her when she jolts and tries to sit up, digging this thumb harder into the arch of her foot. 

“Enough of that. Back down,” he scolds.

“You, but you shouldn’t—you don’t have to do that,” she stammers, trying to pull her foot away and moaning inadvertently when he digs into a sore spot. Her hand clamps down on her mouth.

“Don’t give me that, aren’t you on your feet all day? And then baking for me after a long shift? It’s the least I can do, honey.”

She’s reluctant at first, but then squeaks again he rubs his thumb over the ball of her foot. Hardly able to deny the truth. It isn’t long until her little squeaks and moans start coming out unbidden, exhaustion opening her up. He can smell her sex leaking if he breathes in deep enough. 

“Promise to stay here and wait until I fix up supper?” he murmurs, keeping his voice low. 

She hums, eyes having slid shut. Without even really moving her lips, she mumbles, “Promise.”

“Good girl.”

Sleep warm, she finally settles into his house like she belongs, like she’ll be spending the long winter here as well. Her scent is as imbued in the couch as his. It’s cinnamon sweet. 

“Why do you even…buy so much food if you aren’t gonna use it?” she asks, drowsy enough that even if he were to respond, there’s a chance she wouldn’t hear it. “You hibernating or something?”

John smiles. “Something like that.”

[pupyuj]

→ “dreamlike.” || jang wonyoung x reader fic.

— with your forbidden thoughts and feelings plaguing your head, you failed to do the deed with your crush on a date. and so your stepsister gives you a taste of what you've been craving...

word count: 14.6k.

dynamic: dom!stepsister!jang wonyoung x sub!inexperienced!reader.

content warnings: stepcest, masturbation, mirror sex, unnie kink, praise kink, fingering, edging, voyeurism, exhibitionism (mildly).

requested? : yes!

‼️: this fic features ryujin of itzy as the reader's (second?) love interest!

a/n: i am so glad to tick this off my req checklist omg 😭😭😭 apologies to the anon who requested this months ago, this is for you! from pupyuj many months later 😭💔 i really didn't think i would write over 10k words since i predicted that i would only be writing 7k but i present you guys this big ass meal, i guess... 😭 sorry in advance for this long read but I REALLY HOPE THIS WAS AT LEAST FUN TO READ FOR YA'LL! expect the other requests to come soon 👀

for as long as you’ve known your step sister, which would be two years now, all she has done for you are good things. she helps you around the house, was quick to befriend you and get you comfortable around her father (your stepdad) and herself, made the effort to get along with your mother, and has treated you like family way more than some other immediate blood relatives of yours did. there was no doubt that you couldn’t ask for a better older sister than jang wonyoung, and she continues to prove that the more she hangs out with you!

wonyoung has done a lot of favors for you—some you didn’t even ask for. she didn’t have to make so much time in her schedule just to show you around the city after you and your mother officially moved in with her and her father, but she did. she didn’t have to become your personal campus tour guide when you enrolled at your new college (that she also attended), but she did. she didn’t have to throw a surprise birthday party for you in your first year of being sisters, but she did! you like to tell wonyoung that you would love to give back to everything she has done for you, but she always told you that it wasn’t necessary because she was just fulfilling her role as your older sister.

and today, you just so happen to need her god-given older sister wisdom and guidance… for a cute date! as soon as your crush turned a corner after you’ve agreed to have her take you out on a date in the coming weekend, you immediately turned around and pulled out your phone, texting your reliable older sister.

sliding your phone inside one of your pockets, you started leaving the building with a skip in your step. the hallways were silent with only muffled chatter and the thought of shin ryujin accompanying you on your way out. you blushed as you remembered her vibrant smile when you said ‘yes’ to her date proposal—it looked like she had been nervous before she asked you and was very relieved that you didn’t turn her down. but in what world would you have rejected her, anyway? she was your dream girl! and ever since your first date together, which was only three weeks ago, you have been wanting to see her again.

the two of you have only been texting and chatting in the halls regularly but being in different programs made it hard for either of you to make time. not to mention the nerves! you had no idea if ryujin wanted to go on a date with you again even when you knew full well that she enjoyed her last one with you. it was wonyoung who cleared you of your doubts and worries, told you that if ryujin wasn’t stupid she would absolutely want to be with you, and she was even the one who gave you good advice on how to initiate something she calls ‘the first-date skinship’! it was only wonyoung’s natural big-sister-instinct to want to help you with your second date, and you really couldn’t have asked for a better guide!

arriving at the parking lot, you spotted wonyoung in the sea of cars, leaning on her own sleek, cherry red chevy as she reapplied some gloss on her plump lips. you noticed that she was strangely glammed up on a tuesday where you knew her classes were fairly boring and totally not worth all the effort of looking decent, let alone fabulous. she must have plans—besides taking you out shopping, that is. she spots you once you were halfway across the lot, and her smile lights up the entire area, in your eyes anyway. 

you happily walked faster until you were right in front of her, “hi, unnie!” you greeted with a sweet smile that she returned with a pinch of your cheek.

“hey there, lovergirl. you look so happy! it’s cute,” wonyoung spots how your cheeks flushed. surely enough she now knows about how you kept thinking about ryujin on the walk towards this place, and speaking of the devil, she followed your gaze to the car a few spots away from her own, where ryujin and a few of her best friends were standing and chatting comfortably around in. as if she sensed that someone was staring at her, ryujin turns her head and locks eyes with you. you froze up, both embarrassed and terrified that you were caught practically drooling over your crush by… your crush! it was only when wonyoung subtly nudged you that you managed to give ryujin a shy wave, which the latter returned just as shyly and got teased by her friends for it. “oh wow, you two are so into each other.” wonyoung laughed as you turned away from ryujin with burning hot cheeks.

“i’m happy i trusted you and didn’t let my preconceived notions of her stop you from going on that first date. she seems like a good egg. now, anyway.” wonyoung says as she subtly studies ryujin. a once drop-out, repeater of classes, and a reputation for being the token ‘player’ of her little group… wonyoung had all the right to doubt ryujin when you first told her that you had a crush on her. it didn’t help that ryujin looked the part of a player too! even wonyoung herself thought that little smirk of hers was quite charming, but after hearing all of the things you said about ryujin and how she treated you so kindly… well, wonyoung had to give her a chance!

and clearly, shin ryujin did not disappoint.

“if this second date goes well, i’ll properly introduce you both. if you’d like! it doesn’t look like it but you guys have similar interests and i think you’ll get along well.” you said, immediately getting reminded of how much you talked about your perfect wonyoung-unnie to ryujin on that first date. thinking about it now was embarrassing, but it made your heart skip a beat when you remember how ryujin didn’t seem to mind anything ‘strange’ that you did. she just looked happy to be hanging out with you! oh, you could fall in love, really.

“whoa there, maybe save the introductions when you’ve been dating for at least two months.” wonyoung teased, smiling widely at how you just ducked into the passenger seat to avoid eye contact with her. wonyoung sits herself down in the driver’s seat, more than happy to let you hog the speakers with your music while she checks herself one last time in her mirrors.

“ah, do you have a date, unnie?” you asked, your eyes carefully studying your step sister’s every facial feature. in your eyes, jang wonyoung was the definition of ‘flawless’. perfect face, perfect body, perfect personality, perfect heart, perfect lips… sometimes you envied her, but every time you voiced out some of your insecurities to her, she would tell you to be quiet and that you’re perfect in her eyes. you appreciated her greatly because of that and she has increased your confidence in every aspect of yourself! add ‘perfect older sister’ in that list.

“oh, god no,” wonyoung says as she slowly pulls out of her spot. she waves at a couple students that were walking by, and you even spot some who waved at you as well. you returned their greetings with a sweet smile before wonyoung completely drove away from the parking lot, but she of course gave you some sweet seconds to wave at ryujin again before speeding off laughing. “why? did you think i would take you shopping not looking decent?” she asked.

“if your ‘decent’ looks like a pageant entry, then i’m afraid to find out what mine is.” you grumbled. it was almost an unhealthy habit of yours to nitpick your appearance, but wonyoung was quick to make all of that go away.

“yours is winning the pageant in question, of course.” wonyoung said. her words laced with nothing but sincerity, it made you smile.

“i appreciate the lie, unnie.” you replied, laughing.

wonyoung whines, “i don’t lie, (y/n)-ah. you know this!”

the ride to the nearest outlet mall was filled with casual chatter and laughs. you tried to convince wonyoung to go to a less… well, expensive mall but she insisted that it was the perfect time to spend her allowance! and then you begged her not to spend her money on you, and she blissfully ignored you. ever the doting one she is. the entire time you sat on that passenger seat, you were fixing your makeup using the little mirror in the visor, grumbling when you noticed how ‘off’ you looked with how your makeup had worn off throughout the day. and so you get to ‘fixing’ your appearance, but not before noticing that wonyoung’s eyes kept drifting from the road to you.

“what, unnie?”

you hear wonyoung hum, “nothing. you know you don’t need too much of that, right…? you’re so pretty.”

“i’m not about to go into a mall for rich kids with my gorgeous older sister looking like i just woke up from hibernation.” you joked, giggling when wonyoung scoffs and shakes her head.

“trust me. you’re more beautiful than you think.” wonyoung pinches your cheek and before you could deny or say anything back, she speeds off into the highway, giving you no choice but to sit back and relax. you already knew that wonyoung was going to be the one to dress you up for the entirety of this little outing so you didn’t waste your brainpower trying to think of any outfits to put together. instead, you opted to stare at the clouds with ryujin in your head, accompanied by a lovesick smile on your face which was made worse because of the romantic songs playing through the speakers.

once you arrived at the outlet mall, wonyoung wasted no time and took you by the hand before tugging you towards clothing stores that had prices worth more than you think they deserve for being merely… well, clothing.

“u-unnie, this is way too expensive for a skirt! please, i do not need this!” you said after nearly fainting looking at the price tag of a cute, frilly black skirt that wonyoung picked out for you.

“i told you already: don’t worry about it. and less talking, more looking!” wonyoung puts the skirt in a bag, moving on to a rack of some if the prettiest blouses you have ever seen. from the colors to the material—it was all very rich, and you haven’t even included the prices there!

“so! what kind of outfit would you like to wear for this date? preppy? cutesy? maybe even sexy?” wonyoung teased with a smirk. you blushed madly at the suggestion, looking away to hide your cheeks as well as your burning ears. “aww, baby, you think about ryujin in that way? how adorable!” wonyoung laughs.

“have you seen her in the engineering building? she’s so attractive when she’s all serious and focused…” you said with a dreamy sigh. you developed the peculiar habit of taking a long stroll around the campus whenever you had spare time and you just so happened to always walk by ryujin’s classroom on your routes. once in a while you’d see her—nose glued to her notebook or listening to the lecture with great focus… and it really was sexy of her! and now here’s a fun fact: the two of you actually met on one of your first walks around the campus, where you got lost in the engineering building and ryujin had been conveniently running late to class.

you asked her for directions but she insisted that she escort you back to your own lecture hall, and the rest, as they say, is history! every time you think about it, butterflies invade your stomach and turn you into a blushing mess.

“come on, try some of these on.” wonyoung leads you to a lavish (and huge) dressing room that looks like a monster made of pink goo puked all over it. nevertheless, wonyoung takes a seat in one of the puffy, pretty ridiculously pink armchairs and nods at the privacy screen, expecting you to put on a whole fashion show for her. you felt intimidated by wonyoung, but not the kind where you would tuck your tail in between your legs and hide like you usually did with other people that mildly scared you. this kind of intimidation just made you want to impress her—make her proud, almost.

and what would you be if you were not a people-pleaser?!

so you hid behind the privacy screen and stared at the four pretty outfits that wonyoung had arranged for you; they were all pastel-colored outfits. you didn’t have a problem, of course, but you did wonder if you could ever pull it off as flawlessly as wonyoung did. on your last date with ryujin, you wore a sundress embroidered with flowers, petals, and leaves along with a cute hat, one of wonyoung’s expensive purses, and bejeweled mary janes—the outfit made ryujin unable to make eye contact with you for ten minutes until she finally got the courage to tell you how pretty you looked. adorable, but what if she doesn’t think the same on this second date?

shaking your head, you decided to trust your sister.

the mini fashion show was enlightening! seeing wonyoung’s face light up with amusement and joy every time you walked out of the privacy screen with a shy look on your face made you a bit less embarrassed of yourself. wonyoung would sometimes ask you to do a little twirl for her and would giggle sweetly at you when you do what she says even though your face was beet red. regardless of how you felt bashful about being your older step sister’s living doll, you enjoyed everything. you ended up picking an outfit that you really liked too!

“there are ways we can make this look a hundred times better!” wonyoung says, approaching you with a smile on her face. she gets real close to you, making you freeze on your spot and stare at her right in the eyes like a deer caught in headlights. her perfume was so sweet, voice so smooth as if it was made of silk, lips so full, plump, and pink that it was alluring. your breath catches in your throat when wonyoung lifts her hands slightly, undoing the ribbon of your blouse and then tying it back again—prettier this time. you couldn’t help your wandering eyes; you stared at her lips for too long! you hoped to the gods above that she didn’t notice.

(she did.)

“i’ll teach you how to tie your ribbon all cute when it’s date day. oh, and also raise this up a bit,” wonyoung lowers her hand, tucking both her thumbs underneath the waistband of your skirt and pulling your skirt up a bit. you don’t know what kind of sound nearly left your mouth when her cold fingers touched your warm skin but you were so fucking glad that it never came out. “for easier access.” wonyoung whispers with a suggestive wink.

you blushed wildly, “oh, unnie! ryujin’s the sweetest gentlewoman, please don’t put that in my head.” you promptly moved away from wonyoung, opting to stand in front of the full body mirror instead to observe your appearance. with a little bit of light makeup and some accessories, you’d look really cute. you were glad wonyoung was here to offer her expertise, or else you would’ve been panicking trying to find a decent outfit the night before the big day. both you and wonyoung ogle over your adorable outfit before you go back to wearing your regular clothes, realizing that you might like shopping and scourging for outfits more than you thought.

at the cash register, you still insisted on at least paying for half of the payments required for the outfit but wonyoung refused again. “keep this up and i’m going to have to lock your cards myself just to make it stick to you that i want to pay for everything.” wonyoung then pinches your nose and happily slips the receipt into the paper bag before gingerly walking out of the store with you following close behind. at least she allowed you to carry the bag, but that was only because she wanted to loop her arm around yours and tug you everywhere.

for the rest of your time at that outlet mall, you spent most of it window shopping and trying to stop wonyoung from buying you pricey things that you did not ask for. you managed to prevent her from getting you a shiny watch, some sleek heels, and fancy pieces of clothing that were too rich for your little closet, but you couldn’t say no to her when she brought up the wonderful idea of getting matching bracelets. wonyoung’s joy was contagious; it made you so happy to see her smile when you allowed her to put the bracelet on you. it was just another great day of hanging out with her, but the fun didn’t stop there!

“so, tonight! you, me, in my room, a pint of ice cream, iconic romcoms, and planning out your second date. sound good?” wonyoung asks once she had her car parked on the driveway. you nodded eagerly, taking a bite out of the donut in your hand before tidying yourself up. wonyoung wipes a filling off the top of your lips and licks it off her thumb, chuckling lightly at your bewildered expression before exiting her car. you blinked, and asked yourself just why did you think it was so… ‘hot’ of her to do that? shaking your head, you followed after your step sister, closing the car door gently and jogging up to the front porch of the jang family mansion.

the mansion was as posh and lavish as one would expect from the jangs; from the fine pieces of paintings, sculptures, and figures scattered all over the house to the intricately-detailed wallpapers and the expensive furniture. it was way too big for one family of four, three dramatic cats, and two live-in housekeepers but it was home.

“hi, unnies!” wonyoung excitedly greets the chipper housekeepers, giving them hugs and kisses. you stood idly behind them all, waiting as wonyoung chatted with them. “mmh… that smells really good. but why are you guys cooking a bit early tonight?” wonyoung asked.

“ah, sir jang or madam (l/n) hasn’t mentioned it yet?” the older one of the housekeepers, sunhee, said. you and wonyoung exchanged a quick look with each other, making you grab your phone just to take a quick peek to confirm that no, neither your stepfather or mother have texted you about any interesting event that’s supposed to occur tonight. “both of them are inviting some friends of theirs over for dinner. and they’re expecting you young’uns to join them!”

your smile drops slightly. not because you didn’t want to join the big dinner but because your little plan with wonyoung might have to be canceled depending on how long the dinner would be. seeing this, the younger housekeeper, norae, was quick to try and lift your spirits back up. “i’m sure it’s not anything too serious! nothing to be concerned about.” she smiles kindly at you and relief was evident in her face when you smile back, warm from the reassurance. afterwards, sunhee decided to go back to the kitchen but norae insisted on helping you and wonyoung with your bags.

“one day i’m going drag you and sunhee-unnie along to my bi-weekly shopping sprees. it’ll be so fun.” wonyoung tells norae as the three of you struggled climbing the staircases with shopping bags in your hands. while the two older girls get lost in their conversation, you feel your phone buzz in your pocket and your heart jumps at the thought of it being ryujin. she did tell you that she would tell you more about the date she has planned so you wouldn’t be too nervous about it. how considerate of her! you paused on top of the staircases to look at your phone, and you were correct!”

“come on, lover girl, don’t fall off the stairs,” wonyoung teased, her head peeking out from the corner of the hallway. “sorry, unnie. she has another hot date this weekend so she’s a bit… distracted.” wonyoung winks at the young housekeeper before laughing at how you blushed at her statement. shoving your phone in your pocket, you grabbed your bags and made a beeline towards your room, ignoring wonyoung’s giggles and norae’s calls for details. you thanked norae for her help with your bags before bidding your older sister a short goodbye—you had a ‘formal’ dinner to get ready for! and you wanted to see if you can glam yourself up without wonyoung’s help this time.

however, instead of going straight into the showers like you intended to, you decided to crash right onto your bed! ryujin didn’t seem to be camping in your messages anymore, possibly occupied with something. a shame since you wanted to chat with her just to know more about her so you wouldn’t be a total bore to talk to on your second date with her. beyond the cool girl persona, there was a not-so-hidden softness in ryujin that she doesn’t really allow just anyone to see and maybe it was her infatuation with you, but you were one of those people that she let see her adorable side.

for example! once in a while you would find three daisies taped to your locker with a small sticky note that had only a cute heart and ‘ryu’ signed at the bottom of the paper. on one of those days where ryujin pulled that stunt, wonyoung had been with you and you got such a big teasing from her that you had to pretend that the cute gesture didn’t affect you as much. every time ryujin gave you daisies you always made sure to take them home and appreciate them a little more before their time was up, and because of ryujin, you found yourself liking the flower so much that even your phone case was designed with daisies.

you hadn’t been able to get the look of awe in ryujin’s face when she noticed your new and shiny daisy phone case one day and you swore that when her face lit up with a bright smile, you had fallen in love.

you turned to your side and started scrolling through ryujin’s instagram page. you’ve probably seen every post at this point but you would never get tired of seeing her face… plus her pictures were pretty cool, okay?! you wondered who took them—maybe chaeryeong? you always knew they were pretty close, almost like sisters. as you scrolled through your crush’s feed, it started to get… warm. shin ryujin was simply too handsome for her own good; who could blame you for staring obsessively at a certain pic that you liked for so long that you didn't even notice your own hand slipping underneath the waistband of your pants and feeling your own clothed core?

rubbing the fabric of your underwear against your clit, you whimpered and pressed your face against your pillows as a means to suppress your noises. it would be a nightmare if anybody in the house hears you. they may not tease you as it would be embarrassing for everybody, but just the thought of the kind housekeepers and your very own step sister hearing you like this… well, it makes you want to pack your bags and move out. and so you bit the pillowcase and sighed blissfully at the pleasure, sliding your fingers past your underwear and squirming at the contact made with your bare clit. you were doing well for a while with only soft whimpers, heavy breathing, and sharp intakes of breath leaving your mouth, although every time you pressed on your clit too hard a slightly louder whine would slip out and you would have to bite harder.

you started to think about the possibility of your second date ending a bit… differently compared to your first one. what if instead of a sweet kiss on the cheek after ryujin drops you off to the gates of the mansion, you’d be underneath her? a helpless, moaning mess on her bed as she feasts herself on your cunt with her adorable eyes latched onto yours and calling you all the names you like and singing your praises? the thought makes a shiver run down your spine, sending waves of pleasure throughout your body even though you were doing the bare minimum at the moment.

you blame wonyoung for all of this. it was all innocent until she brought up the idea of you potentially dressing sexy for ryujin on your date. now fucking with her was all you can think about. feeling her skin against yours, her hands on you, her lips kissing you until every inch of your skin was covered with her marks, and to feel her own core in your hand…

“mmhn… god, wonyoung-unnie…”

your eyes snap open and all of your movements halted.

wonyoung? your step sister that was right across the door of your own room?

oh, god. you feel sick.

out of all the days you had to acknowledge these forbidden and super fucking weird underlying attraction you had for wonyoung, it had to be today—days away from your dream date with your crush. you can’t even defend yourself by saying that ‘nobody can blame you for being attracted to an admittedly attractive woman’ when the woman in question is your family! you felt disgusted with yourself, and the desire to catapult yourself out of your window only becomes stronger when you imagined wonyoung’s disappointed face in your head. she was scolding you… and it turned you on to an immense degree.

fuckfuckfuck, no!! bad (y/n)!!

immediately, you cleaned up your hand and did everything in your power to forget about what just happened. absolutely no one can know that you had pictured yourself getting intimate with wonyoung and that you moaned her name out loud while you were touching yourself! 

after choosing a decent outfit for the dinner, you headed straight into the bathroom to have a nice, long shower that you hoped would wash away all the thoughts you had in your head about ryujin, the date, and most importantly, wonyoung.

you don’t know why it was so hard for you to make your way down the stairs after you have been called to do so by your mother… until you were met with your step sister’s back at the bottom of the stairs. wonyoung had been waiting for you, refusing to enter the dining area without you (since she knew that if she leaves you to yourself, you would walk into the area with cold hands and shaking legs. and she knew you wouldn’t let yourself live that down). thankfully, as mentioned before, her back was turned to you so she wasn’t aware of your presence yet. and then you found yourself torn in between two paths: act like you didn’t ‘accidentally’ masturbate to the thought of her and that your life is merry and happy, or completely avoid interacting with her throughout the night.

the second option was a death trap, of course. knowing wonyoung, she wouldn’t let up until you spat out what was bothering you. especially if it involved herself. so you crossed that out immediately and found yourself in great peril. unfortunately, you didn’t have the luxury to practice your fake smiles and faux enthusiasm as wonyoung took a glance behind herself and finally saw you, flashing you a radiant smile before beckoning you over.

when you reach the last step, wonyoung loops her arm around yours and pulls you close, “what took you so long? and why do you look so scared?” she asked, chuckling at your peculiar state.

it totally wasn’t because of the alluring perfume that she was wearing and how her glossy, red lips were so inviting.

“unnie, you know i-i’m not good with people… especially mom and mr. jang’s friends. they always have such high expectations…” you muttered, opting to look at the lively dining area just to avoid wonyoung’s stare.

“expectations that you don’t have any problem meeting already because you’re amazing. stop downplaying yourself, (y/n)-ah. i’m gonna get really angry.” wonyoung pinched your cheek and laughed at how you scrunched up your face in pain. unexpectedly, wonyoung dives right in and gives you a kiss on the cheek that she pinched, making you stiffen on the spot.

“oh, crap,” wonyoung notices that she left a barely faint kiss mark on your cheek. “free blush for you, i guess?” wonyoung says as she wipes away the lipstick gently. you were hoping that she would just ignore how you have completely gone non-verbal because of her actions. and god forbid, she notices how you’ve clenched your thighs together in an attempt to stop that feeling in your core from getting stronger. this was so, so wrong.

“come on, now. it’s only mr. and mrs. naoi with mrs. ahn and mrs. kim—we’ve met them before and we’re schoolmates with their kids, remember?” wonyoung starts tugging you towards the dining table where your mother and stepfather as well as their friends have already settled down while norae and sunhee present the food they have cooked at the table. you hear the adults laughing about mr. ahn and mr. kim’s absence before their conversation was cut short due to your and wonyoung’s appearance. you felt small under the gazes of the accomplished people in the room, with your mother being one of them no less, until you feel wonyoung’s hand touch the back of your waist for support.

“good evening.” the two of you said at the same time, greeting the other adults with a sweet smile before giving your parents hugs and kisses on the cheeks. you were sitting in between your mother and wonyoung, facing the gentleness and warmth of mrs. kim who sat across from you. with a few more greetings exchanged and a brief ‘thank you’ to the housekeepers, the dinner officially started.

it turns out that you didn’t have much to worry about. it was mostly the parents that talked about their businesses and some anecdotes that happened in their respective workplaces, sometimes they asked about wonyoung’s studies, about your studies, and your love lives. both you and wonyoung denied being in a relationship even though you knew how glaringly obvious it was that you had been thinking about a certain engineering student. both your stepfather and mother exchanged a knowing glance upon seeing your red ears—you had told them about ryujin just a few days before you went on that first date with her, and from the looks of it, they seemed fine with you seeing people and going on dates.

it was mostly wonyoung that they all talked to, being the older between you two and they knew her better than they did you. it was fascinating to watch how wonyoung seemed to fit right in; she spoke with so much confidence that it intimidated you. at least you got to hear about her mysterious biological older sister. the one you haven’t exactly met yet if you don’t count seeing her in pictures and having to briefly wave at her through wonyoung’s phone screen when they had been video calling one time. you were more than content to just sit there and eat your food along with occasionally acknowledging and chatting a little bit when you were being talked to. even that proved to be a challenge.

especially when wonyoung’s piercing gaze made your hair stand on end, but you can’t think about that for too long or else you’ll malfunction where you sat.

when the dinner finished and your mother and stepfather have gone outside to send their friends home, you and wonyoung decided to help the housekeepers collect the dishes. you both insisted that you helped them wash it and clean up the entire dining area in general but they refused, saying that it’s already pretty late in the evening and that the two of you should just head to bed. you wanted to persist, but wonyoung takes a hold of your arm and starts tugging you towards the staircases. god, after you did what you did earlier, you really thought that you shouldn’t be alone with her at all. who knows what you might say? what you might do?

the two of you climbed up the staircases in silence. every step weighed heavily in your heart, and seeing the wide smile on wonyoung’s face, thinking that she was going to have another fun night hanging out with her only younger sister, broke you even more. you just had to utter her name that time, didn’t you?

it wasn’t until you had stopped in front of wonyoung’s bedroom door that you finally decided to speak. “u-um, unnie… shopping kind of wore me out earlier so i think i’m going to have to skip movie night,” you said these words while looking elsewhere, not having it in yourself to try to look at wonyoung in the eyes and lie to her face. “i’m sorry. i know you were looking forward to it.”

wonyoung wasn’t stupid. you knew that she knew something was truly wrong and that you weren’t planning on telling her about it anytime soon, but of course, it would be quite intrusive of her to push you into telling her everything, so she doesn’t question you. wonyoung merely caresses your hair and pats your back softly, “it’s okay, (y/n)-ah. we can do it some other time.” she said. you didn’t like how sure she sounded, because you knew that if wonyoung were to ask to have some time alone with you in the foreseeable future, you would have to decline.

when you parted ways with her and she finally disappeared behind her door, you stared at your own for a quick minute, immediately regretting your decisions but finding it useless to take it all back. what were you going to do? tell wonyoung that you were only momentarily freaked out because you touched yourself to the thought of her? no. it was much, much better to live with the intent to carry that secret to your grave than facing it.

you went to bed with unsettling feelings bubbling from the pit of your stomach that night and unbeknownst to you, your mistake was going to be much, much harder to forget.

it really hurts you to continuously avoid wonyoung for days on end. it was always terrible when it was daytime considering she’s driving you to school everyday. she would put on her music and try to start conversations with you, only for you to abruptly end it with mere hums, nods, and short answers. you couldn’t look at her when you have been struggling to get that pretty face of hers out of your head for days—at night, in your dreams and in the morning, when you make the mistake of spacing out and have the same image of wonyoung seducing you. many times at night, you woke up from a wet dream wherein wonyoung had been going down on you and you found your hand shoved inside your soaked panties. and that night, you let out a scream that alerted your step sister herself.

wonyoung had rushed to knock on your door thinking that you were in danger or something, and you had to try your very hardest to cover up that wet spot on your shorts while you reassured her that you just had a ‘nightmare’. she looked like she wanted to talk to you more, perhaps suggest that you sleep with her so she can spoon you like she had done so a few times before when you actually did have nightmares. but you made sure to talk to her for no more than five minutes before you bid her goodnight again and close the door on her face. that night, you actually sobbed quietly into your pillow. you were so horrible to her for no reason, and you hated yourself for it.

wonyoung had learned how to hide unnecessary emotions from showing up on her face as a means to avoid being too much of an open book to strangers, but you have learned to catch every little thing wonyoung does so it was easy for you to see through that veil of hers. this time around, however, it was a curse. every time you came up with some excuse to do things alone, you would see a flash of hurt in wonyoung’s eyes before she covered it up behind an understanding smile. she had gotten used to your rejection to the point that sometimes she doesn’t even bother to ask you to hang out anymore, and this morning she barely acknowledged you.

when you made your way towards your room to get yourself washed up, wonyoung had just come out of her own room clad in her running gear. you hated how attractive she looked wearing it all, but what you hated more was how wonyoung completely walked past you without a word, a smile, or even a glance… and yet she was wearing her pair of your matching bracelets. a familiar lump was stuck in your throat for a few minutes while you paced around your room trying to calm yourself, but you were able to get it together when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. ryujin had texted you, reminding you that she will pick you up from the mansion and so you shouldn’t bother taking a cab to your meeting place.

yes, it was the day and yet ryujin was somehow the last thing on your mind.

with a deep exhale, you decided that you were going to enjoy this day to the fullest and think about what to do with the mess you’ve created later. there has been a cloud stuck to your head for days now, and while that was mostly your fault, you still deserved a good day filled with butterflies in your stomach and cupid arrows shooting through your heart. with that in mind, you took the first relaxing shower you’ve had after days of being dramatic and moping while water rained down on your sad face. the date was hours away, so you had time to have fun playing dress up in your room. (although there weren't a lot of outfits to choose from thanks to your amateur sense of fashion.)

perhaps you had a bit too much fun ogling over your jewelry since you now only had an exact hour to get yourself dolled up before your princess charming pulls up at the gates. getting dressed up and prepared for the date was disheartening because you knew wonyoung would’ve loved to help you like she had done before, and judging by the fact that she hasn’t returned from her run yet, she was most likely avoiding seeing you leave without her sending you off personally. while this realization might have haunted you to the point that your heart feels hollow as a wave of regret washes over you, you simply had no time to dwell on it even further.

like you decided earlier: date first, problems later. especially when the date in question was apparently waiting at the gates for five minutes while you were busy picking out earrings that complement your outfit. you grabbed your purse and headed out of your bedroom with your heart racing from excitement. norae was sweeping the hallways in the upstairs area and she gave you two thumb-ups while you waved goodbye at her—you made sure to tell her all about it when you finally had time. your mother and stepfather were out on a quick grocery run with sunhee so they were nowhere to be found, which was a win to you because you knew that all three of them would just tease the hell out of you if they saw how giddy you looked.

but then, as you approached the front door, you saw wonyoung taking her shoes off and putting them aside. you watched intently as she took her thin jacket off and revealed her sports bra, which turned out to be the only thing she was wearing underneath. fuck, really? now?! shaking your head, you headed for the door with your head down.

“have fun, (y/n)-ah.”

well, you didn’t expect that.

you stopped in your tracks, turning your head to look your sister in the eye for the first time in a long while. wonyoung didn’t avoid you this time, even going as far as giving you a soft smile. you couldn’t stop yourself—you hugged wonyoung tightly, not even caring that she was a bit damp from sweat. feeling her wrap her long arms around your waist and pull you close was the fullest your heart has been these past few days and when you leaned back to stare at her adoring face, you don’t hide how you were staring at her lips. always so appealing, tempting you to do something so unimaginable. and it seems like wonyoung had the same idea, tightening her hold around your waist with one of her hands resting far down your lower back. it even looks like she already had her head tilted, nervous eyes flickering back and forth between your lips and your gaze.

no. not now. much to wonyoung’s (and your own) dismay, you pulled away from her embrace. “i’ll see you later, unnie. i promise.” you said before swiftly opening the front door and leaving. wonyoung’s scent lingers before it is completely washed away by the smell of nature, reminding you that you had a cute date to worry about for now.

ryujin waits outside of her gray top-down car, holding a singular red rose in her hand while she paced back and forth nervously. smiling, you opened up the gates while she was busy mumbling some kind of mantra to herself, greatly startling her. normally, ryujin would be embarrassed but you laughed so cutely that she had to suck it up, opting to laugh herself before regaining composure. she looked handsome with her loose and silky dark blue button-up shirt while a pair of chic sunglasses pushed the front of her hair back—the look made your heart skip a beat.

“you look beautiful, (y/n),” ryujin extends her arm and hands you the rose which you gratefully accept with a shy smile. she then opens the door of the passenger seat, urging you to take a seat. “ready to go?”

you suddenly felt brave. you closed the distance between the two of you and gave her a swift kiss on the cheek, “thank you, ryu.” you said before occupying the passenger seat. you were glad that it took ryujin a minute to settle down behind the wheel because if she had seen how hard you blushed… you wouldn’t have looked as cool as you initially did! ryujin herself was blushing as well, and she couldn’t resist a wide smile from appearing on her pretty face. well, that was definitely worth the risk.

“oh, here,” ryujin grabs a jacket from the backseat and lays it over your lap. “wouldn’t want you to get cold now.”

from then on, you knew the date was going to be just as fantastic as the last one you had with her. and it really was! your first stop was an italian restaurant that you actually remember vaguely hearing about via overhearing wonyoung talking about wanting to eat there with her friends. you had a lovely time hearing ryujin talk about her studies, her friends, and the little moments in her daily life that she was willing to share, and the way she intently listened to you while you shared your own stories made your heart race. afterwards, ryujin tried to convince you to let her pay for all of the food but after seeing that you refused to back down, she ended up letting you share the bill with her. 

the next stop was a quick-but-heartwarming stroll at a lively and colorful park that had the most beautiful arrangements of plants and flowers as well as gorgeous water fountains. ryujin moved on to talking about some funny encounters at her part-time job—she seemed to love it when you laughed with her and at her stories. it took some time, but ryujin eventually found the courage to hold your hand while you were mesmerized by a particularly ravishing flower bed. the two of you toured the rest of the park hand-in-hand, sharing shy glances for a while until ryujin laughed at the ridiculousness of it all and kept the conversations going. you hadn’t heard about this wonderful park before so naturally you couldn’t wait to tell wonyoung all about it!

and the final stop was a quaint local bakery where you ended up buying two whole boxes of pastries to take home to your family and housekeepers. you and ryujin continued sharing your experiences with the most random things over a cup of coffee, tea, and the most delicious delicacies you’ve had in a long while. ryujin held your hand the entire time and her smile seemed brighter and wider, just like yours was. as you walked out of the bakery and towards the parking lot, the sun was well on its way down the horizon and there was a certain mood in the air… and a spark when you got the courage to look ryujin in the eyes.

there was the anticipation of a kiss… and something more.

then, you ask a question that you never would have thought to come out of your mouth ever, “w-would you… like to come over for a bit?”

ryujin was caught off guard by this and you wondered if those were the right set of words to say to her at the time, but it seems like she was more than eager to take up your offer. although, she does ask you a question with uncertainty and anxiousness, “won’t your family mind? i-i would hate to be a bother…”

but oh, you were chasing after something and you wanted to grab it with your hands firmly. “no, no. they would love to have you over! e-especially wonyoung-unnie!” you insisted. you felt pathetic and desperate trying to convince her like this… but it works. ryujin agrees and the two of you get inside her car for a quite silent and admittedly awkward ride back to the jang mansion. you were expecting the worst of the teasing to come from your doting stepfather and playful mother. norae and sunhee would most likely just laugh in the background and as for wonyoung, she would be smiling triumphantly knowing that she was right all this time!

right about thinking of ryujin touching you, she was!

ryujin parks her car on the spot beside where wonyoung’s car was, making the process excruciatingly slow as she was probably nervous about meeting your family so quickly. you comforted her by taking her hand and gently leading her towards the front doors. you intertwine your fingers, giving her a smile to calm her nerves before pushing the door open. where you would usually find your parents lounging around this time was just an empty big couch. you didn’t hear random laughs and chatter in the kitchen either, which means that wonyoung wasn’t hanging out with the housekeepers to kill time. and the housekeepers themselves were nowhere to be found. 

the mansion was completely empty. ryujin lets out a sigh of relief at the realization that not a single soul was present in the mansion and was a lot more comfortable going forward: making noises of approval and awe at the pieces of art around the house and the interior design as well as nodding as you tell her random facts about the mansion. eventually, the air was dead silent once again when you reached your bedroom. the two of you sit on the edge of your bed, quietly picking at the lint on your clothes and looking everywhere else but at each other.

this was a stupid idea, you thought. she probably didn’t even want to go here… what was i thinking?!

but maybe it wasn’t stupid! because when you find the courage to turn your head to look at ryujin, you find her already staring at you. her face accompanied with the expression of longing that you’ve seen very clearly on your older step sister just this morning before you left the mansion for this date. before you process anything thoroughly, ryujin leans in for a kiss… and so do you.

ryujin’s lips tasted like caramel and caffeine, and with the faint remains of the cinnamon pastry that she snacked on earlier, it all created a distinguished flavor on your tongue that you desired to have more of. so you got brave: softly grabbing a fistful of ryujin’s shirt and pulling her closer to you as you backed up further in your bed until your back was against the headboard. ryujin couldn’t resist her own urges as much as she tried to be a gentlewoman about this whole ordeal. not long after you’ve gotten comfortable, ryujin attacks your neck while pulling on the ribbon on your blouse. her kisses were almost intoxicating, making you release unheard sounds from your mouth that you could tell she greatly enjoyed hearing when you felt her smirk against your skin.

with your blouse now loose and exposing your shoulders as well as a part of your upper chest area, ryujin was now free to mark you however and wherever she desired. whimpers leave your quivering lips as ryujin trailed feather-light kisses down your neck, and a pretty moan follows when she sucks on a certain spot that feels better than the rest. having been distracted by her work on your neck, you don’t notice how she had a gentle grip on your thigh. that was until she slowly slid her hand up, all the way underneath your skirt until she could feel the fabric of your panties on her fingertips.

ryujin tugs on the material at the same time she leaves her first hickey on your neck, and you panic.

you promptly push her back, rendering both of you in temporary shock. you clumsily fixed your blouse, suddenly feeling way too exposed for your own good. a pang of guilt hits you in the chest when ryujin looks at you with widened eyes, “i-i’m sorry, (y/n). did i… was that too fast?” she asked, immediately putting some distance between the two of you just so you don’t feel scared any further.

truthfully, it wasn’t clear to you why exactly you stopped ryujin. but one thing was for sure: it felt… wrong. wrong for her to be the one to touch you. to kiss you. to even… like you. it was almost as if something in your head was telling you that she was the wrong person to pour all of your affection to. it scared you to think about the correct answer too much because you knew damn well what it was deep inside. you see ryujin’s mouth move as she frantically apologized and talked about how she didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable but you don’t hear any of it—you were way too occupied with the thought of your wonyoung-unnie and how she might react to this event, and how you… needed her right now.

“s-s-should i… leave? i’m really sorry if i made the wrong call, i—”

“it’s okay, ryu… i just—i don’t know, i freaked out. i’m sorry.”

ryujin shakes her head profusely, “no, no, please. don’t apologize for anything. i should’ve known not to do that shit. i mean, it’s our second date—god, i’m so sorry.” when she crawled closer, you flinched… but you allowed her to comfort you. not a lot of words were shared between the two of you for a whole hour as you didn’t find it in you to speak to ryujin again after embarrassing her like that. instead, you rested your head on her shoulder and wondered why, just why, out of all the people you wanted to be this close to you, you wanted it to be… wonyoung? from an outsider’s perspective, being temporarily estranged from her for a week straight would be the quickest answer to that question, but you knew it wasn’t the whole truth.

you wanted her. and while the mere idea of feeling so awfully attractive to her disgusted you to your core, you couldn’t stop your heart from trying to take what it desires. but the real question was would you really be willing to commit to such a thing just to see a sign if wonyoung held a similar attraction towards you, or in order to keep a family after enduring so many years of living in a house divided, should you just shove everything under the rug and instead, forever become distant towards wonyoung?

after ryujin quite reluctantly and regrettably left the mansion and you found yourself sitting with your knees touching your chest on the carpeted floors of wonyoung’s bedroom, it doesn’t take a genius to know that you found the answer to your myriad of questions from before. you nervously awaited wonyoung’s arrival; although her car was very much present in the driveway, you figured that she must’ve gone out with her friends or something considering she was nowhere to be found in any corner of the mansion at all. the entire place has been too quiet for your liking and on top of all that, you hated being alone inside such a big space.

before you sunk deeper into your personal pool of negative thoughts, the door slowly creaked open, revealing a casually-clothed wonyoung holding three large shopping bags with her phone against her ear. she doesn’t notice you upon entering, way too engaged in the conversation with whoever was on the other line. you watched as she dropped the shopping bags to the side and throw her purse to the soft bean bag in the corner before she finally took a good look around the room and spotted your pitiful self all balled up on the floor looking like a kicked puppy. wonyoung was only momentarily surprised, sending a confused look your way before briefly saying goodbye to her friend on the phone.

“i’ll call you back later, unnie. my little sister needs me,” wonyoung then ends the call and puts both of her hands on her hips, jokingly glaring at you. “who said you could come in here as much as you please? especially after being so mean to me for the past week.” wonyoung was pouting, but she was quick to drop her act and laugh at herself. as upset as you were about how things went down with ryujin, you found herself giggling along with her. instead of asking you to stand up, wonyoung sits down right beside you.

you could feel her staring at you and deciphering your expression while your eyes were glued to your feet. you figured that she must have questions for you, and you did have things to say to her obviously but you didn’t know where to start at all. do you start with ryujin? do you start with an apology? do you want to completely avoid deep conversations for now and ask where she had gone? you had no idea. luckily enough, you didn’t have to make that decision.

“did something happen with ryujin? you look troubled,” wonyoung said. her kind eyes refuse to leave your face, wondering just what might’ve disturbed you so greatly that you felt the need to run to her about it. she scoots closer to you and the way you tensed up slightly did not at all go unnoticed. wonyoung tilts her head inquisitively, notices the faint hickey that ryujin gave you, and her mood changes. “what did she do?”

you were to go on ryujin’s defense when you noticed the scary tone in her voice. “no, no. it’s nothing like that, unnie. it’s my fault, i…” you sighed deeply, cringing at the exact memory you pushed ryujin away from you. “i messed up and we couldn’t go through with… you know.” god, you sounded like a child and you hated it. it shouldn’t have to be so hard telling someone you trust about how you ended your date horribly.

“with…? oh! you tried to… oh, wow.” wonyoung seemed to be in complete disbelief. she probably thought you were too much of a prude to even try to initiate sex with a girl you had a massive crush on. you groaned and hid your face in your hands as wonyoung processed your words, and it was then you decided that hey, you weren’t completely innocent! hell, you’re not even a virgin, you should start there! but alas, you resorted to burying your face in your hands and groaning.

“i-it’s okay! what exactly happened?” wonyoung puts a hand on your shoulder for consolation.

“we… i took her here because i didn’t want us to separate just yet so we went into my room and… we kissed,” you remember how ryujin’s lips felt against your skin, how they tasted on your tongue but instead of feeling euphoric over it, there was almost a tinge of dismay that you associated with it. “i-it was getting a bit intense so we took it to the bed and… i don’t know. i didn’t… i didn’t like it when she touched me. and it’s not like i was scared of her or anything like that… i just—”

looking at wonyoung, you found yourself at a loss of words. there is no way you can admit everything you have been thinking about to her. despite her suspicious actions and lingering stares towards you, she wasn’t actually going to entertain such a disgusting act, right?

“hey, hey… don’t beat yourself up over it. you were going to take a huge step! it’s normal to chicken out when it comes to things like that. but i didn’t think it would take such a toll on you… come here,” wonyoung wraps her arms around your waist and pulls you close. in her embrace you start to relax a bit, although your heart is hammering against your ribcage and you refuse to hug her back. who knows what you might think of doing and where your hands might end up?! even when wonyoung was too close, you refused to move an inch. even when she rested her face in the crook of your neck and inhaled your scent. “did she try pushing you to do it?” she asked. her breath tickled your neck. it took you everything in your power to not whimper.

“n-no… she backed off. i felt so bad, unnie… she thought it was her fault and she went home guilty because of me.” you said with a quivering voice. you didn’t want to hurt ryujin like this. how could you even face her on campus and tell her that the reason you didn’t let her touch you any further was because the thought of having sex with her made you feel like you were doing something wrong?

“no, no, ryujin is kind. she’ll understand once you give her a proper explanation about it all. you don’t owe her one, of course, but if it’s bothering you this much then maybe it would help,” wonyoung leans her back, brushes your hair back and giggles slightly at how cute you looked pouting. “you’ll be okay, (y/n)-ah. let’s take your mind off of it, alright?” wonyoung kisses your forehead. at this point, you thought you were safe. as wonyoung leaned back on the side of her bed, you rested your head on her chest and allowed her to caress your side all she wanted. you were actually feeling much better about it all too!

and then wonyoung reaches into her skirt pocket and pulls out your pair of the matching bracelets you bought a week ago.

“you dropped this in the hallway when we were taking all of our bags upstairs after we went shopping,” wonyoung smiles fondly at the bracelet before turning her head and looking at you. it was her usual ‘sweetheart smile’ that you’ve come to know and love, but there was something sinister hiding behind her eyes that made you hold your breath for what she might say next. her hand felt cold against your skin—you weren’t even aware that she had slipped it underneath your shirt until now. “i was going to return it to you after i got all my stuff sorted out… but if my ears were working correctly that time… you were a bit busy.”

oh, fuck. she heard that?

as if she can read your mind, wonyoung nods. “mhm. i heard you. loud and clear,” a sadistic look takes over her expression as your blood runs cold. “i was right about you, (y/n)… i knew i wasn’t going crazy with all those hints that you were dropping all this time…” you don’t think wonyoung realizes how terrified you were at this moment. what was she going to say to you next? what was she going to do? and how the fuck were you going to explain everything to her? wonyoung takes your wrist and clasps the bracelet there before taking your chin in her hand and making you look up at her.

god, you must’ve looked pathetic. what with your eyes brimming with tears and the genuine fear they held in them. wonyoung doesn’t seem too bothered by the fact that she caught her younger step sister masturbating to the thought of her yet, judging by how she looks quite flattered instead. something inside you was hoping that she would just let it pass as a little joke and forget about it. as long as you get to hear her tell you that you shouldn’t think about things like that again, then you can move on peacefully and continue to be her lovely little sibling. but that… doesn’t seem likely. not when wonyoung raises your hand to her lips and kisses your knuckles, then kisses your wrist just a few seconds longer before putting your palm against her cheek, smiling at you so sweetly.

“i’m so happy you feel the same way as i do,” wonyoung said. before you could even process what she just said in your head, wonyoung leans closer to you until your faces were merely inches apart. your breath catches on your throat at the lack of distance, making you flinch back a bit. “it’s because of me, right? you couldn’t bring yourself to have sex with ryujin because you wanted me… don’t you, baby?” wonyoung places her hands on either side of you so she would have you trapped. when you don’t answer her quick enough, she tilts her head and gives you a kiss on the cheek… before her lips continue on kissing down your neck.

her kisses were pillow-soft. it was as if no matter how much she wanted you, she was still giving you room to completely push her away and run for your life. and you know what? you probably should. deep in your heart, you wanted to scurry away from her and lock yourself away from the world to completely forget that all of this even happened… but instead, you sat there. so awfully still that even wonyoung got frustrated by your lack of movement but regardless, she kissed you. she stops at the crook of your neck, nestling her face there for a moment. “you’ve always smelled so good…” she whispered.

wonyoung raises her head, finding herself chuckling lightly at how petrified you were. “don’t pretend to be so innocent. if you really gave a shit about all of this—about us being a ‘family’—you wouldn’t have shown your face here in the first place. you want this to happen… isn’t that right?”

you knew she was right. and what’s worse is that she knew she was right. that’s why she didn’t have a problem closing the distance and catching your lips with hers. if you weren’t going to answer her questions, then she might as well make you use your mouth for something else! you feel wonyoung smile into the kiss when you start returning it. it makes you sick how good this all made you feel… but you quickly forget about all of that once wonyoung slips her tongue inside your mouth, eager to explore every crevice like she has wished to do for a while now.

wonyoung places a hand on your thigh, and every ounce of hesitation you had evaporates into nothing as you cup her cheeks with both hands, kissing her back. wonyoung moans and your heart skips a beat, even more so when she pulls you closer towards her until her back meets the side of her bed again. and once you were straddling her, wonyoung immediately pulled your shirt off. she even stops the kiss just to lean back and rake her eyes all over your body. you don’t feel intimidated under her stare anymore—all of those feelings of insecurity and self-consciousness have dissipated into nothing as soon as she kissed you. now you only wanted her… and luckily enough, wonyoung was planning on giving you just that and more.

“i thought about fucking you in that changing room, you know,” you feel one of wonyoung’s hands glide across your back slowly, only stopping to unclasp your bra and throw it away to the side. her cold hands grasp your tits, squeezing softly and pressing her thumbs down your erect nipples. you bite back a whimper. “i was so close… do you know how hard i fought against myself knowing you were naked and the only thing stopping me was that damn privacy screen? i think we’re both lucky that i had some sense of decency and didn’t fuck you in a public space.” unconsciously, you rock your hips back and forth on her thigh, seeking for any sort of friction to ease the aching in your core.

wonyoung grins, “so eager… think you can be good for me and be patient, hon?” she asked. you wanted to say fuck no. you needed release and you needed it now but you knew wonyoung would probably fuck you better if you followed her every word.

so you nodded, “y-yes… i can do that, unnie.”

to get you riled up a bit more, wonyoung leaves a trail of hungry, open-mouthed kisses down your neck and across your collarbone until she wraps her warm mouth around your nipple. she hums approvingly of your whimpers which soon turn into blissful moans when she starts using her tongue, flicking and rolling your hardened bud in her mouth. wonyoung slots a knee in between your legs, squeezing your ass as you pressed down and start humping her thigh with the kind of desperation one would only see in a pathetic virgin eager to get bred. wonyoung sneaks her hand inside your shorts which you don’t feel until she presses a finger against your clit. with the added stimulation, it was hard to keep your voice low.

you had no idea who was home at this point in time. what if norae and sunhee hear you? or worse, what if your parents hear you?! wonyoung didn’t seem to care, however. in fact, with how hard she sucked on your nipple and how she rubbed your clit with her fingers, it was like she wanted you to make sounds. a death wish, yes… but perhaps one you were willing to fulfill.

“off,” wonyoung simultaneously tugs your shorts and underwear down. her eyes glinted with desire as her eyes traveled down from your stomach to your pussy—desperate and dripping, but not exactly ready for her yet. “did you have fun touching yourself to me that day?” wonyoung takes note of how tightly you held onto her shoulders, how your lips have formed a thin line with how hard you were trying to hold back from whining and pleading for her to touch you already.

“yes, i did…” you nod. being completely naked and vulnerable but looked at and seen like some irreplaceable treasure made you all the more desperate to please wonyoung. she was most likely expecting so much from you—she was risking a lot after all: her father’s happiness, your mother’s trust, and your entire relationship as siblings… you didn’t want this to be a waste of time for her.

you gently pushed her hair back and sat comfortably on her lap while she eyed you down with a whole lot of feelings in her eyes that you haven't seen before. and for a moment, you thought that you could have your way with her, even just for a little bit. tilting her head and kissing her softly, squeezing the back of her neck and hearing her sweet moans, allowing you to push her back against the side of her bed and get your hands as far as her toned stomach. the upper hand was only temporary since as soon as you felt wonyoung palming your pussy, you were back to being a whiny, adorable mess.

“why don’t you finish what you started, (y/n)-ah?” wonyoung looks up at you, batting her eyelashes and smirking. she was excited, but you didn’t quite understand what she meant. considering she was being such a tease and barely doing anything to your needy cunt, it was very hard to focus! “turn around.” wonyoung says. you didn’t have time to be confused or to question her as she makes you turn your back on her herself. now you were sitting in between her lap and facing the mirror across the two of you, and only then you finally got what she meant.

but that doesn’t make wonyoung telling you exactly what she wants to see any less hot though.

“show me how you did it.” wonyoung says, her beautiful brown eyes piercing through yours as you intently stared at her using the mirror. she spreads your thighs apart and puts your pussy on full display in the mirror for the two of you. god, you almost wanted to crawl in a hole, but at this point, you were too horny to stall anything. you started by doing exactly what you did that day: gently massaging your clit as a means to get yourself wetter. from behind you, you hear wonyoung’s breathing get heavier and although you weren’t looking in the mirror at the moment, you felt her state burning through your skin.

it doesn’t take long for wonyoung to make a move herself. she leaves a trail of kisses from your shoulder, your neck, and all the way behind your ear. her hands cup your breasts again, adding onto your pleasure by squeezing and pinching your sensitive nipples. “don’t be shy now, pretty.” using one of her hands, wonyoung reaches down and spreads your lips apart for you, clearly asking for more than just whatever you were doing.

you had to admit that this was pretty nerve-racking. you rarely touched yourself and when you did, it was just… this. you didn’t have any toys to help you, you didn’t know much beyond what people called ‘vanilla sex’, and as embarrassing as it was to say it, you’ve never known what you felt on… well, the inside. you wanted to believe that wonyoung would just take pity on you and fuck you already but she had a surprising amount of patience despite the pure lust that radiated from her. finding no other choice in the matter, you slowly inserted a single finger inside your cunt.

“see? doesn’t that feel so much better?” wonyoung’s laugh was music to your ears. it was enough to get you moving—sliding your finger in and out of your pussy at a slow pace, getting a feel of what you liked just before you went faster. a string of moans left your mouth as you steadily fucked yourself right in front of wonyoung, who was quite literally having the best time of her life watching such a pretty thing like you do all of this for her. of course she wanted nothing more than to have you crying and whining herself but she also wanted to appreciate the show you were putting on.

you slid another finger inside you and you ended up moaning a bit too loudly for your liking that wonyoung had to clamp a hand around your mouth. she shushes you gently and whispers to you to go slower. while it would be nice to see your legs shake as you squirt all over her carpeted bedroom floor, wonyoung wanted to do that to you herself. and of course you obeyed even though it was disheartening to lose that sweet pressure building up in your abdomen. you didn’t know how long wonyoung was going to have you fuck your own pussy while she just watches, but for now you were fine with it.

this felt good. getting to unwind like this after a fucking whirlwind of a week was just what you needed, alone or otherwise. actually, you probably wouldn’t be loving this too much if you were just by yourself. wonyoung kept you in line, made sure you were calm, guiding you to make this moment last longer so both of you can fully enjoy it before any sense comes back to either of you to stop all of this.

wonyoung, with her left hand, parts your lips with her fingers and slides two inside your mouth. she doesn’t need to tell you what to do; you just sucked on her digits obediently without question. she pushes her fingers deeper, making you gag and pull back a bit but she keeps her fingers inside of your mouth. after making sure your drool was dripping down her palm, she pulls her fingers out and then kisses you softly. oh, your mind was but a haze. wonyoung’s kiss was a drug on its own—intoxicating and addicting. you couldn’t have enough of it.

you weren’t sure which feeling you wanted to focus on. your quickly-building climax, wonyoung’s hungry kisses, her nails digging deep down your inner thigh, or… oh, fuck, she was sliding her spit-covered fingers inside you… while you were busy fucking yourself! the sudden stretch of your pussy caused by wonyoung’s fingers being inside you as well as your own nearly makes you wail, and that is when you realized why wonyoung was kissing you. to shut you up. because she knew you were going to be so loud. with four fingers inside of your cunt, how could you stay quiet?! especially when wonyoung made sure to match your pace, but making sure she was knuckle-deep inside before pulling out then doing the same thing again and again.

“ahh… mmn—unnie..! oh, go—” a pathetic squeak slips past your lips when wonyoung uses her thumb to press against your clit. she kisses you harder, doing everything she can to conceal every noise coming from you but ultimately, she’s enjoying every fucking second of this. the secrecy of it all, the scandal, the thrill of being caught… gosh, if the two of you weren’t ‘siblings’, she would have no problem making you scream and letting the housekeepers hear every goddamn vowel that leaves your mouth.

it was too much. you pulled your fingers out and grabbed wonyoung’s wrist in an attempt to at least slow her down, but it does nothing. having more room to move now, wonyoung only quickens her pace even further. and with her free hand, wonyoung grabs your jaw in a tight grip and forced you to look at you reflection in the mirror just so you can watch how well you were being fucked. wonyoung’s fingers being freakishly long didn’t help at all; her fingertips reached farther inside you than yours did and every time she hits a certain spot inside you, you lose more of your sanity. soon enough, a knot forms in your stomach and wonyoung knew.

well, with your face all scrunched up in both pleasure and pain, how could she not know?

“do you think ryujin could have made you feel better than this…? i know you better than anyone, (y/n)… so don’t feel so bad about her not getting to fuck you. unnie has everything you need…” wonyoung couldn’t believe how soaked she has gotten over the past few minutes she has been fingering you. but this wasn’t about her at all. her pleasure comes after yours, and she was counting on you to do anything and everything to return this favor to her… that thought alone makes her clench around her drenched panties. she couldn’t fucking wait to use your mouth.

“mmh…! u-unnie, i’m—ahh… i’m gonna cum.. please let me…” you whimpered weakly.

wonyoung had intended to edge you until you were a babbling, crying mess. but that would’ve been too mean. especially right now, when you were so cute squeezing her wrist and pouting at her. “you’re so cute… what am i gonna do with you?” wonyoung plants a kiss on your temple before increasing her pace. your moans get higher, the knot gets tighter, and it’s harder and harder to hold yourself back from screaming her name. wonyoung buries her fingers deep, and the pressure in your stomach finally breaks.

but oh, wonyoung made sure you made a mess. pressing her fingers against your clit and rubbing rapidly so you’d squirt everywhere, a sick look on her face forming while she watched you. “you’re so good… i won’t have to punish you ever, hm? because you’re unnie’s good girl, right?” wonyoung smiled sincerely when you agreed and nodded. sure you were most likely lightheaded and barely knew what you said yes to, but wonyoung knew that you meant it.

it takes you weakly pushing her hand away for her to finally stop, letting you calm down and try to come back to her. the whole time you were catching your breath, wonyoung sucked quietly on her drenched fingers while staring at your gaping, spent cunt. and then she started to wonder; when the day ends and another one starts, if she were to just walk up to you and your room and kiss you… would you let her do it? what if she just got lucky today? what if you grow to hate her for all of this? for not respecting your feelings for ryujin and taking you for herself? no… no, no, she can’t lose you like that.

“are you hurt?” wonyoung asked after a while. she snuggled closer to you, keeping you warm as you were still butt-naked sitting in between her thighs. you shook your head, not even finding any energy in you to reply with your voice. it was strange… you thought wonyoung would be more concerned considering that she just fucked you nearly out of your mind… but you should’ve known better. this was a completely new side of her that you were hilariously unfamiliar with, and you being shocked when wonyoung suddenly pushes you to be on all fours was enough proof of your stupidity.

you should feel violated. this was beyond everything that you expected to do with wonyoung, and not to mention that she didn’t look like she planned on asking for you permission to fuck you again… but you didn’t say a word. didn’t make a sound. didn’t even question anything when you felt wonyoung squeeze your ass before palming your once-again dripping pussy from behind. you liked this. when the time comes for you and wonyoung to answer for this situation, you can’t even say that she used some sort of manipulation tactic to get you to submit to her.

no. you needed this. you wanted this. and you loved it all.

with your vision being limited to only seeing your hands on the floor or your reflection in the mirror, it was hard to try and prepare for anything she was going to give to you. when wonyoung pushes two fingers inside your cunt so suddenly, you gasped loudly. it was easy for wonyoung to slip in and out of you; you were so wet that there was nothing that could stop wonyoung from having all the fun in the world. the faster wonyoung fucks you, the harder you had to bite down your lip. your head drops to your arms and beautiful moans leave your mouth but this time… they’re all for wonyoung to hear.

“unnie… unnie, it feels s-so—ah! so good… please, faster.. faster…” and with you being so cute, wonyoung was sure to grant your wish pretty quickly. she was getting extremely impatient herself… the wet sounds of her hand meeting your pussy, your enchanting voice, and the lovely way you moaned her name when she steadily inserted her thumb in your tight hole… god, it was getting harder and harder for wonyoung to not turn you over and ride you until you were both crying from exhaustion and ecstasy.

“the very first time i saw you… i called dad stupid in my head. stupid for bringing such a pretty and nice girl into this family because i knew i wasn’t going to last long before i did something idiotic like this…” wonyoung curls her fingers inside you while simultaneously grabbing your hair and pulling it up, forcing you to look at your face in the mirror again. “see? such a fucking angel. how could i ever resist?” and before you knew it, you were gagging on her fingers again. and you were getting desperate for another release, pushing back against wonyoung and meeting her thrusts.

“you made my dreams come true by coming here, you know… i’m just thanking you now. i’ll thank you again later. and tomorrow. and whenever i want.” after seeing just how willing you were to do such a thing with her, wonyoung simply couldn’t wait for all the things the two of you could do now. even if it will cost her everything.

“mmfh.. i lah… agh.. i love you, unnie..” it was hard to speak with her fingers stuffed in your mouth, but wonyoung heard those magical words loud and clear. you were visibly exhausted, and your body was weak to the point you couldn’t even keep yourself upright… but you made sure your ass was propped right up for wonyoung to fuck you without any complications. wonyoung had pulled her hand out of your mouth and allowed you to lay half of your body down, the side of your face pressed against the floor as drool dripped out of the corner of your mouth.

you think wonyoung was now holding your hand, whispering encouragement and praises in your ears that kept you somewhat conscious while she made good use of your pussy. another deep dive of her fingers inside you and you cum for the second time with a long, soft whimper that was more than enough for wonyoung that she didn’t feel like making you suffer through another round. you’ve gone limp on the floor; barely having any energy to keep your eyes open. you felt your juices seeping out of you once again, drenching your thighs and of course the soft carpet, but wonyoung made sure to not let the slick dripping down her hand go to waste!

a lot of the things that happened afterwards were a blur. wonyoung helped you to her bed, cleaning you up and making sure you were hydrated and clothed before tucking you in as the sun was starting to set. in direct contrast to how she handled you while she fucked you, wonyoung seemingly reverted back into her gentle, loving older sister self as she took care of you. her arm carefully draped over your waist and kept you warm better than her blanket, and even your own. occasionally, you would feel her kiss the back of your neck and it would give you goosebumps. she intertwined your fingers and at the time, you felt the need to kiss her hand… so you do. and wonyoung must’ve liked that because she pulled you closer to her and held you tightly.

you were torn. torn between wanting to face all of your feelings and the consequences of what you just did with wonyoung, but also wanting to hope that you’d fallen asleep in your bed after sending ryujin home and that all of this, having sex with your step sister and laying half naked on her bed in her arms, was just an insane wet dream. but if it was, surely enough it would have been a thousand times harder to face wonyoung with your attraction towards her kept hidden. although it was like it was necessarily better this way; how the fuck are either of you going to have a normal conversation with each other after this? with your parents?!

the idea made you scared. mr. jang was a man with power and influence; if you anger him (which is very likely considering you, his stepdaughter, slept with his biological child), what could he do to you? to your future? and what would your mother think of you if she were to find out about this?

perhaps wonyoung heard your soft sobs because she immediately made you turn around, “hey… what’s wrong, (y/n)?” she takes a hold of your face and wipes your tears away with her thumbs. you couldn’t believe how confident she was that both of you would get away with all of this scot-free. but then again, she is jang wonyoung. she wouldn’t go through with everything she just did if she didn’t have a solid plan in the back of her mind.

or maybe she didn’t need any plans. wonyoung simply loved you and acted on that. maybe she was scared too. she wasn’t perfect, after all. underneath the confidence, the money, and the strong walls she has built around herself, wonyoung was still a softie at heart. she acknowledges that this was a bad thing to do, that this was indeed a mistake… but at the end of the day, the deed has been done and all she can do now is to make sure that she protects you from everything that might come after.

that is what she swore to do the night you became a part of her family, after all.

“listen… dad, mother, ryujin, and everything… we’ll worry about them tomorrow, okay? i love you. we’ll face everything together.” wonyoung gives you a kiss on the forehead, and you automatically snuggle back in her arms and hide your face in her chest. you ended up falling asleep to the sound of her heartbeat and the way she ran her hands through your hair… it ended up being the most relaxing sleep you’ve had in this bizarre week. every lingering thought you had about ryujin just about faded away into nothing once you got completely lost in wonyoung’s dreamlike embrace.

one thing was for sure: you felt a lot braver with the promise of your loving step sister once again proving that everything and anything she will ever do for you are good things.

[fridgemissionmaster]

Barbatos x Reader Drabble/Ficlet: A Butler’s Excuses

In which Barbatos finds reasons to spend time with you.

Word Count: 1111

Warnings: N/A

AN: I really should get back into tap dancing, it's been too long.

@om-adventcalendar

You didn’t even need to look at your phone to know what that sound was, Lucifer reminding you dinner would be ready soon and that you needed to get back. Diavolo and Barbatos too knew that sound all too well, the merry making and chatter from before instantly silenced.

“Perhaps you could stay for dinner? Or the night! We have yet to discuss your report on the current exchange program.” The young prince’s smile was already beaming at his own suggestion, his butler nodding in silent approval.

You thought for a moment, ultimately sighing. “We already used that excuse last time, if we keep pushing this he’ll start coming over to pick me up himself or sit in on these things to make sure we ACTUALLY talk about that.”

These visits to the palace had become one of your favorite things upon your return to the Devildom. With how the exchange program was handled the first time you honestly didn’t think Diavolo took it at all seriously but it seemed since then the prince had decided to switch up his strategy, now having you drop by regularly to discuss you. How your time here has been, if there was anything to be improved on, anything demons don’t know about humans that they might need to, like how humans get depressed without sunlight and need special lamps so the eternal night of the Devildom wouldn’t make them miserable. However usually they end up being about ‘you’ as an individual and not ‘you’ humans.

To Diavolo’s disappointment Barbatos already began cleaning away the tea set and tiered biscuit tray.

After thanking them for tea and treats you quickly took your leave, little D no. two by your side to escort you out.

Even putting aside the lovely company these visits were worth it just for the walk. Upon getting through the front gates you rarely ever went through the palace itself, instead the gardens to get to your meeting place that gazebo beside the shimmering lake.

One could so easily get lost in the gardens at times the place more like a forest, or sprawling botanical garden. Dirt and cobblestone paths marked the way, a guide by your side just in case though you had long memorized it by now.

On occasion there was a surprise, like Barbatos off in the distance by the gates, an umbrella hanging off his arm.

“I shall escort you the rest of the way.”

“Oh, okay, thank you?”

The Devildom and the Human world may have many differences but at least one similarity they had was the weather and from what you could tell, it was rather clear out, a little windy but even if it did rain you should have had enough time to reach the House of Lamentation. Little D no. two too seemed confused but quickly scurried away upon understanding their duty was done.

And with that the pair of you left.

It was rather quiet for a Devildom… evening? Despite your time there your mind always wanted to think ‘night’ when referring to any time of ‘day’ in the place.

The distant buzz of city life could be heard but the sound you were focusing on was the tap, tap, tapping of Barbatos’ footfalls against the cobblestone road. Rhythmic and light, simple yet lovely.

They suddenly came to a stop, halting you in your tracks. With a pop the umbrella was opened and held above.

.

.

.

It was sprinkling.

“You didn’t have to get an umbrella for me just for this.”

“No, I did. It wouldn’t do for you to come down with a cold from your visit, the young lord would be so saddened by the thought.”

… What was that in his voice; the slight lit, the hint of playfulness on the tip of his tongue.

“Then I must inform him humans aren’t that fragile… in that respect at least.”

“Truly? Even so, it also wouldn’t do for you to return and be wet, that’d be a failing on my part.”

It was tough to gain a more animated expression from the man beside you, but you could easily see how he studied you, your quirked up brow and the giddy, mischievous smile pulling on your lips.

You took a step back out of the umbrella’s protection.

He took a step forward, a new smile on his face. The butler had many smiles, a neutral one, a polite one, a furious one, and now this new one you couldn’t recall seeing before.

You hopped back.

He hopped forward.

You slid to the side.

He slid to the side.

“Mc”

You could not tell the tone, if he was simply saying your name or questioning your actions.

You shuffled back, on the last step hitting your heel to the ground before kicking your foot up a little.

His foot slid forward before he hopped, landing on the toe of the other. He stood so close, just a hair’s width apart.

Sliding to the side he spun on toe before sliding his other foot out getting in front of you!

A small step, a strike of the toe to the ground before a strike with the heel, then a little hop, your back foot landing on the toe. Your partner did a larger leap, one foot sliding further back, maintaining that little distance.

Perhaps it was simply a reflection of the town’s lights on the shimmering stone but you could swear your partner’s eyes began to sparkle. You couldn’t repress giddy laughter as the pair of you continued to dance along, one always chasing after the other, never too far. The clacking of sole on wet stone, the light tinkle of water against the umbrella, and his quiet chuckle your music.

It was intriguing how his movements so differed from yours, something elegant, purposeful and natural in each of his movements, long strides, yours fast, short, bursts of step meant to tap along.

It was beautiful in his demon form, his tail trailing behind his steps almost like a ribbon. It too danced on occasion, lightly curling around you, making sure your differing styles didn’t accidentally take you too far apart.

Taking your hand you were spun around and taking his he was dragged into hops and heel brushes.

“AHEM!”

Lucifer stood there, arms crossed. “You’re late.”

When had you arrive at Lamentation’s front gate!?

Barbatos placed a hand on his chest, taking a little bow. “Mc thought to teach me a few human dance steps on the way here, it seems I got so absorbed in your lessons. I hope we may continue this soon.”

“O-of course! I’d love to!”

[writingwisterias]

The different eras of Leon and how you would be able to get him to relax with affection?

Hi Anon!

Of course, we have to make sure our touched-starved man feels loved! I hope you like it! Requests are still open for Eras Leon <3

Warnings: Tooth Rotting Fluff, drinking, GN!Reader

RE2, RE4R, Infinite Darkness, Damnation, RE6, Vendetta, Death Island

RE2:

We all know this is the softest version of Leon, so I think he would regularly accept it.

Before he joined the force he was still working his way through college. He would come and knock on your dorm room or drive to your house after a particularly hard exam.

Falling onto your bed as soon as your room's warmth enveloped you.

I think he would be more likely to hold you instead of wanting to be held in this situation. Sitting against the headboard watching over your shoulder as you continued to do whatever you were doing.

Studying at this time is a no-no, he's already used enough brain power he just wants to forget about all that for just a second.

After Raccoon City I think would be a different case:

He's older now so you both moved into a flat close to the area whilst he looked for one in the city itself.

He would return from that night covered in who knows what looking like a lost puppy with a young girl next to him.

You would help them both, letting him sit in the kitchen as you tended to Sherry first - he would rather you go straight to him but he's patient.

Once he's showered and freshly dressed he returns to the living room seeing you set up the sofa bed. You don't even get to sit down until he's in your arms.

Squashing you as he holds you close.

You can feel him cry, his tears wetting your shoulder so you just hold him. Stroke the wet strands of your hair until he calms down.

The next few days he's like a shadow, following you around the apartment holding you close whilst you cook/wash up. Showering with you. Doing the Laundry.

When they both get taken away you miss it, miss his form in the corner of your eye. Knowing that when he does eventually return he's going to be 10x worse.

RE4R:

So I would say Leon thrives off acts of service at this time frame of his life.

He just loves feeling needed and doing things for people.

So it would actually relax him when he's home and he does simple things around the house like tackle the huge pile of laundry ( most of it is his work clothes anyway, he doesn't need you touching them)

If he's home he would take you out for lunch on your breaks. Don't expect to pay for a thing because he won't let you.

I think the simpleness of doing chores would relax him. Just being able to solely focus on folding the laundry like you like it. Getting lost in the sound of the hoover. Even just chopping food for dinner.

He would do much larger things, making sure to keep busy - you have a leak in a tap. Don't worry he's got it. You wanted to repaint your wall, also done.

Even doing things just as simple as taking you to and from work, taking you out to work parties or going out with your friends.

He's already got a stable job, not the one he wanted sure. I think he would have had a fear of losing the idea of being able to have a stable home life so now he has you he works hard to maintain it.

I do think he would enjoy you sleeping on top of him like a weight blanket. Or sitting in his legs if you are watching Tv.

Infinite Darkness:

The most touchy feely man with you and only you. You walk past he's slapped your ass, Holds your hand in public, Hands on your lower back as he guides you around.

When it comes to his affection he's like putty in your hands.

I say he rarely gets nervous, or you rarely see any signs of it. So when you do it's bad. Something must be really bothering him.

In these times I dont think he's actually searching for a touch comfort instead actually a conversation, something to cling onto and focus instead of whatever is in his mind.

If you were his partner in a mission, I think he would be talking to you non stop about literally anything other than what you were doing.

When they saw his performance increase you were paired all the time, little do they know it's because he's telling you about some random advert he watched, the latest recipe he tried from a cooking channel

When it does come to intimacy, I think he would be at his most vulnerable, lots of kisses, hugs and just melts into your arms.

Damnation:

We all know he drinks to relax.

So I'm thinking he would like you sat on his lap, cuddled in close with a glass in his hand. You would prefer without the drink but knowing he's not going to give up that habit any time soon you accept it.

I think he would want to just have you there, that's more than enough for him at this current moment. Nothing fancy.

His hands would run through your hair, kissing the top of your head. Even as the drink starts to make his brain fuzzy and his co ordination begins to lack.

His hand misses your head every time he goes to stroke it again but the thought is there.

He's always off somewhere being called when he's on holiday or just taking a break so I think any time with you is where he just relaxed and smothers you in love.

He's a dick sometimes when the drink gets too much and he'll return to bed like a puppy holding you close to him.

RE6:

Leon just loved your house, it was always so much more welcoming than his place was.

Loads of soft furnishings, blankets, throw pillows. Candles making the place smell nice. Fairy lights everywhere.

Never understood the no big light rule until he came into your house.

There was one spot that you would always be dragged to for at least an hour. Your bed.

It was always filled with throw pillows, stuffies you had collected. Creating the perfect cosy corner.

He would always drag you there,practically throwing you in the mountains of soft furnishings before climbing into your arms himself.

Almost instantly falling asleep in your arms as you again light scrape his scalp as you work through his hair.

He's also the type of person where when you think he's asleep you move your hand away or stop the movements and he just picks it up and puts it back.

Vendetta:

The slightest touch would make this man cave, especially yours.

Even better just words of affirmation. Hearing that you love him and that you are there for him. That you will always be there for him will make this man instantly relax and cave

He could be having the worst day and you mention to him that you love him and the stress Is gone, almost forgotten about.

Holding his hand is a big comfort, just knowing that you are there and he is still here is big for him.

He's obviously drunk a lot but it doesn't make him careless, instead I think he would feel guilty for being like that and use it as fuel to comfort you until he relaxes or gives up on the bottle completely.

Huge cuddler but I think more in terms of spooning, like he just needs you as close as you can possibly get.

Shielding you from the world.

Like you are pressed into the back of the sofa and he's hanging off the edge holding onto you, back to the world because he'd rather go first than you.

Death Island:

I think he's at peace so it doesn't really get stressed or dealing with PTSD as much

He has more free time so acts of service, small things like re4r

I think he's changed from having to take care of the world to just you. You are his world after all.

I think just making sure you are happy and safe is his way of relaxing

You want to go to the mall for retail therapy. He's given you his card and coming with.

Want to go out for dinner? Booked you the fanciest place he can.

He's been so obsessed with the world that I think changing his mindset to just you was enough to relax.

His favourite cuddle position though is you laying on him, just the closest it gives. The weight of you is just as comforting.

It's his prime nap position

[zigrethsnotebook]

Writing a thesis

Ford x Reader

words: 1,968

tags: nsfw, they have sex in this, cockwarming

a/n: i usually try to write the reader as gn as possible but in here they're going to have a vagina, sorry:/

You and Ford both sat in his lab, him busy on whatever he was researching now and you busy doing some reading for your thesis. You were somehow massively behind schedule, even though Stanford Pines was your study buddy. Then again, of course you were when he regularly said things like he did today.

"Ugh, I can't focus! I need to be inside you." He turned his chair to face you. "Please?" Without looking up from your literature you answered him. "Love, that hasn't worked once and I really need to get something done today."

He rolled his chair over to you, virtually begging you to look at him. "We don't need to have sex. I just want to be inside you." This managed to pull your eyes out of your book and onto him. "What, like cockwarming? How would that help?"

Ford's eyes were hopeful and pleading. "We'd both get what we want? I'd get to be inside you and you'd get to keep working." You pondered this for a moment. If this would get him to be quiet it could be worth a shot.

Plus, there surely wouldn't be any negative repercussions of conditioning yourself to only be able to work on your thesis while you had Ford's dick filling you up. Surely.

You squinted at him. "Under one condition: You don't move inside me until I am done with this book. That's the very least I need to get done today and if you mess this up then I'm afraid I won't be able to be around you while I write this thing anymore."

Ford's eyes were big as he nodded eagerly. "I won't, I promise." You sighed. "Alright. Okay, so first things first. I want you to grab a blanket. It is too cold down here. I won't be able to sit here without pants and without a blanket."

He quickly stood up and went to grab a blanket out of one of the many cabinets in his lab. While he was doing that, you moved all your stuff to his desk as you would be sharing it for the next while.

Ford spread the blanket out on his chair. "Okay, pants off." You commanded and he quickly did as he was told. His dick was already rock hard and you could feel yourself clench around nothing in anticipation.

"Sit down." You told him as you got rid of your own pants. "And get comfortable. You'll be sitting there for a while." Ford gulped audibly. He was so needy already, even without words.

"Are you ready?" You asked him as you moved to straddle Ford, your back to him. His hands found your hip, guiding you towards his crotch. "Yes, I am."

You lined yourself up with his cock and slowly let yourself sink onto it, feeling him stretch you out in the way you loved so much. You moaned when you reached the end, feeling him fully inside you. Ford groaned behind you as well, already enjoying this a little bit too much for your liking.

After a moment of adjusting yourself to his size and relaxing around it you grabbed the sides of the blanket and wrapped them around your legs and exposed middle. In another swift movement you pulled your chair closer to the desk and opened your book back up.

Ford still breathed heavily behind you while also twitching pathetically inside you. You hadn't even done anything interesting yet. With his hands still on your hip holding you tight he tried to buck up once, making you gasp.

With a sharp tone in your voice you reminded him. "What did I say about not moving inside me?" You heard Ford whimper behind you, muttering a half-hearted apology. "Don't do that again," you grumbled as you turned back to your work.

The book had already been boring as hell when you started reading it, but now with Ford's cock pulsing inside you it took you twice as long to read it. After a few pages you could feel yourself starting to clench around him, your body betraying you in a desperate attempt to achieve some form of relief.

Ford just winced silently with every move of your muscles or anytime you shifted ever so slightly. But he held his promise. No more movement from him. He also kept mostly quiet. Ideal working conditions if it weren't for the fact that you were slowly starting to lose your mind.

His dick just felt so good inside you, already touching all the right spots, it just wasn't enough. You wanted to ride him until it was all you could think about. There was also a slightly wet spot starting to pool in your seat on your boyfriend, a mix of both of your fluids. Best not to think about it.

You turned the page of your book again, taking notes. Although, by now your notes were riddled with more references to your current position that you'd like. Scribbled beneath the lines of important texts were words like 'deeper', 'oh god' and 'can't think - dick too good' in an almost frantic handwriting.

By the third time you read the paragraph you were currently stuck at you clenched around him again, accidentally and quite strongly. Ford moaned behind you, digging all his twelve fingers into your hip. You hissed and pressed your eyes shut as he pushed you deeper onto himself.

After a moment he loosened his grip a little again. Breathless, he asked: "How many pages left?" You looked at your book, dreading the answer yourself. "About thirty." Ford just groaned in response. You turned your focus back on your book, determined to finish this as quickly as possible.

About twenty-five pages and a few more self-inflicted distractions later, you were so close to achieving your goal for the day. You were also so close to losing all control. The blanket was disgustingly wet where it touched your middle and Ford's cock was still twitching inside you.

Ford himself had started to softly caress your thighs as if his own weren't trembling beneath you, essentially turning his dick into a vibrator.

You turned the page again. "Just three more..." You barely got the words out, totally lost in the sensations. Ford whimpered in response, not trusting his voice at all.

When Ford heard you turn the page again, indicating that you were on the last one he decided to do something that would definitely make you mad at him. He moved one of his hands from your thigh to your middle, quickly finding your clit and putting pressure on it with his index finger.

Your already incredibly sensitive organ fired all kinds of reactions up to your brain, making you roll your eyes back and falling backwards into Ford's chest with a loud moan.

The movement on his cock made him wince but he still started to rub slow circles on your clit. Your entire body started shaking, the pleasure already too much for you. "F-ford... I'm not- nghh... not done yet." You were barely able to get the words out between heavy breaths and moans.

And even though it took all his strength to keep the statement true, he responded cockily: "And I'm not moving inside you." You wanted to be mad and glare at him, but you were so lost in his finger on and his dick inside you that your vision started to blur.

Your body now seemingly acting on its own started to grind against Ford's finger, making you also grind deeper onto his cock, chasing your own release. Ford's breath was hot and heavy in your neck as you could only lean against him for support.

He increased the pace on his finger a little, bringing you to the brink of your orgasm and then pulled his finger away, leaving you breathless and grinding against nothing. Well, his cock and nothing. "Wha... Ford, you ca... you can't stop."

"I have to. You haven't finished your book." He wanted to still sound cocky but his own voice was breathless and a needy beg to do it quickly.

It took you a moment to gather yourself, coming down from the brink of your orgasm with his dick still twitching inside you was no easy task. You clenched around him a couple of times, more or less deliberately. Ford whined your name behind you. "Please... read quickly."

You slowly sat back upright, making both of you moan at the movement. Your eyes found your book and tried desperately to focus on it but the words were still slightly blurry. A few deep breaths later you could read again.

A few minutes later you were done and closed the book shut. The noise made Ford open his eyes again, waiting for your signal. "I'm done." With that his hand shot to your middle again.

He let one finger poke underneath you to the spot your bodies were connected, feeling around your entrance. "God, you take me so well..." You whimpered and Ford traced the finger back up to your clit, resuming his previous endeavor.

You let your eyes roll back again and held onto the desk for support. "Ford... please." Ford hummed in your ear. "Yes... come for me. I want to feel you on my cock." You moaned loudly, letting him coax you to the edge again.

"Yes, Ford! I-I'm gonna..." You moved your hips against his hand again, the steady rhythm of his finger getting you to the brink of your orgasm again. "Yes! Yes!" Ford could feel you clenching around him strongly, your orgasm setting in, which Ford used to buck up hard, causing him to spill into you immediately.

You saw stars as your body shook and clenched and twitched all without your permission, the pleasure of your orgasm crashing into you like a giant wave. Meanwhile, it kept Ford hard and groaning as he came down from his own high.

You hadn't even come down from it yourself as you felt Ford buck up into you again, his finger still drawing excruciating circles on your clit. "Come on, you can go again. I know you can." Ford's deep voice said from behind you.

You tried to lift yourself off him ever so slightly, but your legs immediately gave out, causing you to crash back down onto him and both of you to moan loudly. Luckily, Ford picked up the pieces and continued bucking up and drawing circles like his life depended on it.

The needy moans and wet sounds your bodies made rang out through the entire lab and Ford mentally thanked himself for having soundproofed this area of the house.

Ford's rhythm became erratic as he panted into your ear. "Won't last... much... longer." And one thrust later he spilled into you again. "Ford... please don't- ngh. Don't stop."

Even though he was fully spent he couldn't deny you now. He managed a few more pathetic thrusts as he put more pressure on your clit, sending you over the edge again. Ford held your shaking form as you rode it out on him, both of you red-faced and panting.

As you came down you could feel his dick going limp inside you and you pushed yourself off of him on shaky legs. You managed just enough to pull him out and sit back down on his legs, the blanket around you both preventing you from going any further.

You felt his sperm drip out of you and onto his legs but neither of you cared, too busy trying to catch your breaths.

You let your body fall onto the desk. "Ford?" His hand reached up to your back and he hummed in acknowledgement. "I love you." He chuckled lightly, his voice still breathy. "I love you, too."

[ourhees]

A STONER’S GUIDE TO GET THE GIRL › LHS

TIP 0: don’t lose the girl of your dreams !

warnings: smoking mention

you and heeseung have been together for 2 years. heeseung was by far the best boyfriend you could ever have, your family loved him as well as your friends. but towards the ending of your relationship, you realized heeseung turned to cannabis and began to smoke weed regularly with his friends.

“it’s 12am where are you?” you answered heeseung’s call, his voice barely audible due to his high state.

“at.. uh.. the park with gyu and hoon.. just lost track of time..” he responds, his high clear to you. heeseung was more high that usual.

you sighed heavily, not knowing what to say. “heeseung.. please get home soon..we need to talk.” you demanded slightly.

you couldn’t handle this any longer, your boyfriend was getting high every other day. one day he was normal and his usual self, the next he was rather laid back and relaxed due to the intoxication of the weed hes smoked.

around 2am heeseung walks into the bedroom, his eyes blood shot red, his hair disleveled, and his movements were rather slow. he walks over to the bed, sitting on the edge. you sat up to meet heeseung’s level, looking into his red eyes, feeling a pang of frustration as well as feeling rather guilty.

“heeseung…” you felt your heart break, trying to meet your eyes with him once again. “we can’t keep doing this.”

heeseung, who was beyond the clouds, his eyes met with yours. “what…what are you talking about?” he responds, his mouth movements slow.

“i’m breaking up with you.” you got straight to the point, leaving space between you and heeseung.

heeseung’s brain couldn’t process the words that came out of your mouth, instead he looked at you, his expressions rather relaxed as well as his body. heeseung tries to pull you into bed with him, his eyes growing heavy.

“no heeseung, i’m leaving..” you removed his hands from around your waist, getting up from bed and grabbing your coat and shoes.

heeseung knocked out on the bed, still in his street clothes. your heart broke, as you finally realized what you have done. it was too late to turn back and make things right. “what did i just do..” you sob, trying to walk back to your car.

you call your best friend, hoping to receive some sort of support from her. “hello?” yunjin picks up the phone, hearing your sobs through the line. ���y/n… what’s wrong.” her tone drops low.

“i did it.. i broke up with him.” you tried your best to breathe, your sobs only getting heavier. “breathe, it’s alright.. how about you come over and we can talk about it?” yunjin suggests, hoping you’ll come around and talk to her.

that’s exactly what you did, you went to yunjin’s place and told her everything. she proceeded to comfort you and help you heal.

heeseung wakes up the next morning, his head throbbing from an ongoing headache. he picks up his cell phone and tries to call you, “the number you have dialed is unavailable now”

heeseung was confused, trying to process why his calls were not going through. that’s when reality hits him, “oh.. we’re over..” heeseung’s tone drops low? his semi red eyes filling with tears. “what have i done..?” heeseung wipes his tears, sitting on the edge of the bed as he processes reality.

you were gone, and you weren’t coming back.

MASTERLIST • NEXT • PREVIOUS

( 📌 ) :: TAGLIST @elysianiki @kairoot @flwrstqr @sakiimeo @myungjaesgf @aouii @payformycoffeeandleave @leeheesang @mioons @jae-n0 @unhakki @rikibun @mimismenu @sophi-ee @sakanelli-afc @dollyhoons @yeahthisisjustme @nikiswifiee @isabellah29 @mxhlvr @i03jae @luvqirls @onlyhyunjin @clampclover @coqhee @ikeublr @moons-v @iheartjayke @istphanie @felixbrownies @icewons (send an ask or comment to be added)

( 💌 ) :: SAV NOTES beginning chapter we hollered !! just from my planning i can tell this is gonna be great. just another reminder, i do not condone smoking and the use of cannabis. this smau is based on an irl event between me and my ex, but also is pure fiction. my plot does not reflect heeseung in anyway nor will destroy his idol rep !

[honeytonedhottie]

HONEYS RESOURCE BUNDLE⋆.ೃ࿔*:･💶

a gift from me to you for the new year, to help give tips that can help u succeed 🫶🏽 a post filled with resources, and advice to help u guys improve in every aspect 💗 i love and appreciate u all and i hope u find it helpful.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ physical movement and activity

find something that u like and thats fitted for ur needs. for me, all of the workouts that i do come from youtube. a girlblogger that always has a lot of workouts to try is @4theitgirls-workouts. to motivate urself to move ur body i recommend buying something cute to workout in because it always makes me feel good. i rly like to do pilates, so since i enjoy pilates -> i'll wanna do it more.

so dont be afraid to try different things and see what u enjoy the most and stick with that bcuz u dont wanna be forcing urself to do something that u won't enjoy/that won't give u the results that u want. if working out in general isn't rly ur cup of tea at all, thats totally okay! try going for walks or start running. maybe try out for a sport or start a style of dance. the whole point of this category is to get urself moving bcuz its rly rly good for ur physical and ur mental health, and it'll serve u in the long run. another youtuber i rly recommend for pilates workouts is madeline abeid.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ self improvement youtubers that i love and watch regularly

the wizard liz

simonesquared

sammy ingram

simmonesimmo

hailey gamba

the freezia

persephonesmind

₊˚⊹ ᰔ law of assumption

of course if u wanna learn about and practice the law of assumption then u can learn and apply thru my advice, experiences, ideas and more. neville goddard is like, the guru of manifesting and hes written a bunch of books, here are neville goddard's books online for FREE so that that then u can learn and see it HIS way bcuz the thing with manifesting is u gotta figure out how it works for you cuz its your reality.

if u like subliminals this is my favorite subliminal maker on youtube. their subliminals r amazing and i enjoy them bcuz they dont have music layered onto it (i like subliminals that have soothing sounds like rain or water or anything asmr). last but not least my absolute favorite manifesting coach/teacher on the whole internet, sammy ingram - literally the best manifesting guide. she rly simplifies things and her channel is full of helpful advice, success stories, challenges and her perspective on manifesting is brilliant so i rly recommend her.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ mental health

journalling is honestly the best thing that i have ever done for my mental health, the ROI that i get from it is actually incredible so i highly highly recommend it. if ur someone who doesn't rly like to write a lot, use ur notes app or whatever just get the thoughts out of ur mind and onto a piece of paper/notes. i understand that sometimes when ur mental health isn't doing too well and u dont feel motivated rly to do anything (like u feel lethargic and stuff) forcing urself to do things ISNT always the answer. i rly recommend having alternate routines cuz we ask a lot from ourselves sometimes so some days, ask a little less.

give urself the break that u deserve. when u feel like crying, CRY. even if its for no reason, the body holds onto pent up emotions so when u cry u gotta CRY. with time you'll find the things that help u feel better. for everyone its different. for me, when my mental health is in a slump what helps me is : 1. doing one thing differently (i'll go for a walk maybe) 2. get ready (take a quick shower, or if i dont even have the motivation to do that i'll do a sink shower) 3. drink a cold cup of water and make myself a meal. dont ever have zero days. always give at least 1% or do at least one thing.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ hygiene

hygiene is so instrumental in mental health cuz like i've said before looking good -> feeling good. i make sure to get ready everyday even if im going nowhere. just bcuz the process of getting ready gives me so much momentum. smelling good gives me so much confidence bcuz im the type of person thats rly rly scared of smelling bad. im a hygiene JUNKY so im always buying soaps and fragrances. when u make self care a daily thing it'll feel so natural. dont neglect ur oral health, invest in quality products that are suited for your needs. be meticulous when it comes to ur hygiene cuz a solid routine is lowkey comforting. i rly recommend korean skincare, indian haircare, african body care, and arabic perfumes and fragrances. some of my favorite hygiene based youtube channels are : SARA BEQELE and anna renns world

₊˚⊹ ᰔ school

TAKE. SCHOOL. SERIOUSLY. the feeling that u get when u get a good score on an assignment or test is unmatched. at the end of the day ur responsible for ur education. it's not hot to be a loser. if ur someone who struggles to stay on top of assignments, write down the assignment as soon as its assigned and at the next possible chance do it. as soon as u get home from school. reward urself for good grades and for ur accomplishments cuz ur AMAZING. study effectively instead of excessively.

pursue excellence always. find ways to motivate urself throughout the school day (for me, i always try and incorporate girliness into school cuz that motivates me) all my pens and pencils and folders are pink and i get myself ready everyday before school. cuz when i FEEL good -> i perform well. if u ever dont wanna study remind urself that studying>failing. advocate for urself, dont be afraid to ask questions cuz ur responsible for ur grade if u need accommodations or longer time to take a test (even if u dont) always set urself up to have the most time possible and the most resources. the resources that u have USE THEM. the goal of studying isn't to "mostly" know the material its to know for SURE. when u can explain something thoroughly, thats when you can know if you've studied enough.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ organization + planning

of course for the new year and for life in general, organization is rly helpful. manage urself mindfully and intentionally. even if ur a messy person, organizing isn't difficult if u do it in a way thats right for you. for me, notion - is literally the best organizational tool. i have an agenda, calendars, school pages, and so much more.

with notion i rly organized my life on a whole other level. aside from notion, the notes app on ur phone is rly useful, when it comes to organizing ur day to day life, i think its important bcuz it helps u to maximize ur time. for planning out ur year, if u find it difficult to stay "on task" or achieve the goals that u set for urself, try this : dont see the year as 365 days, instead separate the year into 4 quarters (90 days each) and in each of those quarters choose one aspect to focus on and pour into. make sure to log and track ur progress on those goals. the idea to this is breaking things down. break down big goals -> to more digestible goals so that then its more believable for u. remember, your limitless.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ nutrition

if ur someone who has bad nutrition, or unhealthy eating habits in general and u wanna change that my biggest advice would be to NOT BE EXTREME. bcuz i feel like if u go fully extreme so quickly then the change isn't sustainable. take it slow. start off by introducing a fruit into breakfast and having a vegetable at dinner, then eating fruit with ur breakfast and having fruit as a snack, and eating veggies with lunch and dinner. ik it sounds repetitive and overdone but u need to be consuming ur fruits and veggies. if ur not eating it with ur meals then maybe have it in a smoothie if that works for u. take supplements for things that u dont rly incorporate into ur diet, and the key to a good diet is BALANCE. dont deny urself food that u love. life is WAY to short to be scared to eat the burger that u so desperately want. its okay to eat what ppl might consider "junk food" but everything in BALANCE and moderation. keep the 80/20 principal in ur mind. 80% of what u eat should be good for u and 20% of what u eat should be whatever u crave. DRINK WATER, dont go on extreme diets if ur not an adult and haven't consulted a doctor it does u more harm than good.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ informative

learn every single day. even if ur not in school anymore. a way to help learn and sharpen ur mind every single day is picking up a hobby that can help u do so. for me, the hobby i have is reading, reading keeps my brain sharp, it keeps me entertained, and when i read nonfiction it keeps me informed. so the hobby of reading has a high ROI. whenever u get an idea of any sort, ACT on it. u dont have to wait a billion years before acting on an idea. when u get ideas, its for a reason, ur mind is brilliant and imagine how many ideas that u wasted. thats why i recommend having a creative outlet of some sort. for me, my creative outlet is my blog where i can come and talk with you guys 🫶🏽 but ur creative outlet can be ur notes app or ur journal or ur sketchbook. just a way to get the ideas in ur brain -> onto paper.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ stuff i wish i knew

ur never ever tied down to one version of urself, u can always change ur mind/opinion, u can create a new version of urself whenever the heck u want. remember that u have free will and that ur always in control. bcuz it is your life it revolves around you and it is your responsibility. its not something to mess around with. take responsibility for urself, ur actions, ur reactions etc.

1% of progress is better than 0%, a little is always better than nothing. ur social anxiety or ur fear of being perceived is HOLDING U BACK. forgive urself for ur mistakes, everything that ur embarrassed of in ur past let it go and LET YOURSELF LIVE. become ur own project, ur own muse and if all else fails (which it won't, you'll be fine and everything will work itself out for u even better than u could've ever imagined) love yourself unconditionally.

[gatorbites-imagines]

Maybe a Steve Rogers x Male Reader with a choking kink???🤔

Steve Rogers x Male reader

Headcanons

i miss stevie so much, i still live in denial about endgame to this day.

I’ve had so little free time to write for the past while, and I’ve been living off of energy drinks for the past couple of weeks, but I hope y’all still enjoy this :3c

Now, there’s two scenarios that could be put. Who’s the one with the thing for choking? You or Steve? It would be pretty similar either way, but seeing as Steve is a super soldier can do a bit more than you, or needs a bit more than you.

If you are the one that likes to be choked, Steve is your guy. I mean, have you seen his hands? Big, sturdy and he has super strength, and the training to control said strength.

He would also be all about safety, meaning he looks up different guides and diagrams on how to choke a person correctly, where to put pressure, where not to put pressure, for how long, and so on. There would be no fun times without safety being there.

But when you guys have set everything up, made safewords and safemotions, and have discussed what needs to be done, Steve is all for it, in private of course. He wouldn’t be the type of person to do anything like that in public, since choking can be dangerous if done incorrectly, and since he wants to keep it private.

When you guys are in private though, I could imagine Steve being a bit of a tease. Like when you guys are cuddling on the couch, Steve will hook his arm around your neck in what seems like a casual hold, but you both know if he squeezed a bit, your air would be cut off just enough to leave you lightheaded.

Steve would also be bold enough to grab you by the throat, safely of course, to pull you into a kiss, where he would dig his fingers in just right to make you a bit dizzy. So he would steal the breath right out of your mouth with his kiss, and keep you from taking more in with his grasp.

Steve also gives the best praise, his words almost making you just as dizzy as his hands and arms. You would regularly find yourself in a headlock, your back against Steves sturdy chest as he whispers praise into your ear, his arm releasing just enough for you to gulp down air when you need it, before he cuts it off again.

Afterwards, Steve would make sure you are fine, get you something to drink, and what else you might need for your neck. Being the man he is, Steve would most likely also run a medical check, just to make sure it didn’t cause any lasting damage. He’s not above dragging you to medical, if need be.

If Steve is the one that likes to be choked, there would still be a focus on safety, but you might have to put your foot down and have to enforce it at times since Steve has a habit of pushing himself.

Being a super soldier also means Steve needs more than just your arm or hand around his neck most days, if he really wants his vision swimming. That is, if you don’t have super strength as well, where you could just pull the same moves as if It were Steve doing it to you.

You might have to use some professional assassin moves, if you don’t want to use any equipment. Natasha doesn’t question just why you want to learn how to take down a guy like Steve by choking, but you have a feeling she knows.

You guys would have to tie up his hands and legs as well, since the body tends to react when being choked, and he doesn’t want to accidentally hurt you with his flailing, unless you can withstand it. He doesn’t have a preference, sometimes he quite likes his hands being locked together, since it helps him get into whatever mental state he wants to go into.

Steve is as much of a sucker for praise as the next guy, so please praise him and coo at him as you choke him out with whatever you are choking him out with. Be it your arms, your legs, or some kind of collar or even chain.

He doesn’t mind degradation as well, so if you guys are doing some kind of play don’t feel too bad pulling some stuff on him, since it always just helps him give up more of the control he wants you to take.

You always have to keep an eye out when you choke Steve, since like I said earlier, he likes to push his limits. Its nothing against you, he just doesn’t want it to end even when he knows he should safeword or safemotion.

But if he does pass out, you know what to do, just like he would know what to do with you if you passed out. This is where Steves long talks about safety come in handy, since you can get him into the right position and get him comfortable so you can take care of him when he comes too again.

All in all, it can go both ways, and either way, Steve finds safety most important for both of you the entire time, as he should.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I see you are open to Ms Spade/Lilia prompts. I am seeing a lot of speculation that Ms Spade might have been a delinquent in her youth like her son Deuce. It would be funny if Ms Spade and Lilia got to talking and the topic turned to the crazy things they've done in their pasts. Who has the crazier story: delinquent Ms Spade or former General Vanrouge?

Referencing this unofficial blog event!

adklbaboiyfyegea It might be hard for me to write stories in headcanon form, so instead I ended up doing general headcanons for delinquent!Dylla and Lilia sharing their experiences with each other!

Curiouser and Curiouser...

Dylla is very shy with sharing about her delinquent days. She holds a lot of shame and guilt about that era of her life, especially since she blamed herself for being a poor influence and a bad mother to Deuce when he went down the wrong path. It's only when Lilia talks about his own past as a veteran that Dylla gains the confidence to let him in on her secret.

She's still not that proud to talk about her delinquency, but Lilia lends her the encouragement and the kind ear she needs to truly open up. When things get to be too much and the feelings overwhelm her, Lilia stays with her and holds her until Dylla has stopped sobbing. "There, there," he murmurs soothingly, a hand rubbing her back. "Let it all out. A good cry will set you straight."

With time and practice, Dylla becomes accustomed to sharing her stories. It's hard to believe that she was ever insecure about them to begin with, not when Lilia grants her so much strength.

She's surprised that Lilia fought in a war before--and not only that, was served as a general--because he's so tiny. (Huh, that's odd. Dylla doesn't remember there being a war or major conflicts in recent years. She wonders which war Lilia is talking about, but he doesn't elaborate.) But Lilia reassures her that it's the cutest ones you have to look out for.

He demonstrates a few of his moves from back in the day, each of which Lilia has lovingly granted an overly embellished (almost magical girl-esque) attack name. Moving with lighting fast swiftness, he very adorably chants, "Ora, ora, ora 🎵 Watch out, I'll kill you dead 💞 Take this! Lilia-chan's Super Special Axe-Grinding Roundhouse Kick~!"

He casually talks about all the people he killed--"My, I was quite the reckless roughneck in my youth. If only I could go back now and properly mourn their losses."--while squirting ketchup all over the omurice she made for him. Dylla awkwardly laughs, but only because she thinks he's making a dark joke. (Lilia was, in fact, not making a dark joke.)

One day, Lilia brings his magearm with him to show Dylla. He even encourages her to try swinging it around! ... Which she does, and nearly chops off some of his bangs in the process--but he took it in stride and came out of it unscathed.

Dylla was a self-described speed demon. She loved riding fast on her bike--a hobby Deuce also picked up--but seldom rides anymore. After all, she has to keep her driving safe and smooth, especially when she's on the job! "Oh? I would love to go out on a romantic ride with you someday," Lilia tells her. "Let's do it--and no holds barred, okay? I want to see how fast you can truly take me."

Her fashion used to be a lot more daring. Leather jackets, combat boots, bold animal prints. Now all that remains of that era is the roots and strands of her bleached her. "You should consider experimenting more!" Lilia suggests, fingering his own hair. "I used to have this much longer, up in a ponytail--and I regularly dye my streaks different colors."

Compared to him, Dylla thinks her stories are much tamer. Sure, she committed minor crimes (shop lifting, skipping school, drinking while underage, being a public disturbance, etc.), but the worst she ever did was get into fights with peers. "I think I was just lost," she admits to Lilia. "Lost and mad at the world for not guiding me." He takes her hands and looks at her tenderly, whispering, "... And I as well."

Lilia mentions that he used to have a crush on the person he was sworn to protect. "That story," he admits with a sad smile, "is one that ends in tragedy." Dylla's heart aches--not with jealousy, but for him and the pain he feels. She takes his hands--like he has done for her--and lets him know she's there for him too.

At the end of the day, both Lilia and Dylla understand that they're changed people, and they're so proud of each other for that. They have new lives, new children, new identities--and each other. They aren't lost or mad or alone anymore.

[sleepyparalysisdmon]

SVT with an ADHD partner

Requested? Yes!

Genre: comfort

Seungcheol

Whether you’re a student, taking on new responsibilities at work, or picking up a big project at home, Cheol always encourages it, especially if it’s something that you really want to do or are passionate about. But he’s concerned when you’re carrying a lot of stress related to these things. Over dinner, you lament that you’re having trouble prioritizing everything you need to do because everything feels both important and urgent. He asks you to make him a list and your eyes glaze over a little because you definitely don’t have one, but he’s insistent. So you jot down what you can remember and the meal is long forgotten as he helps you work through the order things need to be done in by due date or how long it will take, and how important things really are (is this for an elective class or a major class? Is this for your boss or for someone else? Is this part of the project a hazard to leave unfinished in the house for long or will it just be a little bit messy if it sits for a bit?). He does it in such a delicate yet detailed way that the next day you don’t feel so overwhelmed by the long list because you actually have a game plan. 

Jeonghan 

You two regularly play a little game called ‘Hannie, can you help me find something’. You never know where you last had it or saw it, but he always asks just in case. He helps you look, tearing apart the house if he has to, especially if it’s an important thing. When this lost item is found (and it almost always is), he’ll hand it back to you and teasingly say something like, ‘what would you do without me?’. But if you ever seem upset by this comment or having lost the thing in the first place, he’ll be quick to reassure you that he’ll always play this game with you. Still, he buys little things to give you visible ‘homes’ for things - like a hook on the back of the door so your favorite sweaters and jackets don’t get wrinkled in the floor, or a decorative bowl to drop your favorite jewelry into so you don’t lose your favorite ring, or getting clear containers for things and labeling them so you know where to look for something. These little things make your life easier, so he’ll keep doing them. 

Joshua

You often lament about how cluttered your space is. You say it’s an organized mess and it wouldn’t normally bother you because you feel that you can function in it just fine, but you’ve been shamed about it a few times, whether it be the wrinkled, free-floating papers in your backpack, or the haphazard stacks of random things on your desk at work, or a total inability to keep your closet organized and not all over your floor. Where as Hannie is worried about your object permanence and losing things, Joshua is worried about adding some structure to these things to take stress off of you and reduce the shame you might feel about it. He buys you folders for each of your classes in colors you like, or a few cute labeled baskets for your desk to sort things by status, or installing a new closet organizer that might be more user friendly. He also absolutely doesn’t mind to come behind you and pick up and straighten a few things here and there if it prevents you from stressing about it when you see it later. 

Jun 

When you ask him how to make that one recipe that you both really like, Jun mindlessly rambles off the instructions. You don’t answer and he notices that your eyes glaze over. You ask him to repeat it again, but your glazed look doesn’t change when he does. He asks if you’re okay, and you admit that it’s a lot of steps and you’re afraid you’re going to mess it up. You’re not a bad cook, not by a long shot, but he sees that you need to take one thing at a time. So he goes to the kitchen and cooks with you, guiding you through the recipe. The following week, you find a neat little binder with handwritten recipes and detailed step by step instructions. There’s even a long strip of tape on the margin of each page, allowing you to mark off what you’ve done and not done with a dry erase marker. (I’m low key emotional thinking about this level of thoughtfulness.)

Hoshi 

No matter what he’s had to do that day or how tired he is, he is never too tired to match your energy. If you’re restless and need to get up and do something, he’s going with you. No request is too wild. A walk around the block? Sure. A sprint around the block? He’ll laugh but say ‘why not’ and start a game of tag. Need to blast music? He’ll hand you his phone to pick what you want to play on speaker. Need something visually stimulating? He’s putting on some bright, flashy game for the two of you to play. Genuinely, his creativity knows no bounds. 

Wonwoo

Everybody has bad days and you’re included in that. Wonwoo might have a little bit of a temper, but does everything he can to squash it with you, even when you are particularly quick to anger. It doesn’t prevent every single fight, but most often, he’ll tug you over to sit with him and ask what made you so angry and what he can do to help. Sometimes it’s something he can help and sometimes it’s not, but he does his absolute best to meet you with understanding when your temper flares, knowing that it could be a thousand (sometimes seemingly unrelated) things that made it bubble up in the first place. When the fights are unavoidable, he’s so apologetic afterwards because he absolutely hates fighting with you.

Woozi

He absolutely understands that sometimes some things just can’t be finished in a timely manner or at all, but he gets a lot of satisfaction out of finishing things when he can. One day, you’re watching him put away things you’ve left out or closing things you opened but forgot to close. He does this wordlessly without an ounce of bitterness, but still, you lament because you can’t seem to be able to close a damn cabinet, much less finish a big project. Will not let you linger on that because he genuinely doesn’t mind doing these little things, but he’ll always offer to help you make progress on those big projects. Literally does not matter what it is, he’ll take an active role by working on it with you, or take a more inactive role by just accompanying you as you work on it. You’ll never turn it down because you enjoy his company.

DK

Now I promise I’m not recycling ideas here, but the concept mentioned in my bipolar reaction for Seokmin applies here too. You like to talk and he likes to talk so really, you guys are the perfect match. He gets you, but sometimes others don’t. If anyone ever makes a comment that you’re talking too much, he will go out of his way to be even worse just to prove a point, because no one makes his baby feel bad!! He will not let you feel upset by this for long because he loves that he can talk to you about literally anything. He’d skip almost anything if he could just to keep the conversation going sometimes. Will forever be both the #1 fan and #1 defender of your yapping. 

Mingyu 

Now he’s protective naturally and you fire up a lot of those instincts. At first, he thought it was just because of how much he cares, but then he realizes it’s your bravery (or rather your impulsivity) that makes him that way. Because you will walk home alone at night, or go out and overdo it on the drinks, or go toe-to-toe with someone twice your size just because you’re pissed off, or speed when you drive. He loves your bravery, admires it even, but dreads the thought of you getting hurt when you sometimes lack this sense of danger for certain situations. So he walks with you or drives you everywhere, and accompanies you to the club every single time he can, and deescalates a tense situation or pulls you away all together. It really is just another reason for him to never leave your side, like he needed another one. 

Minghao

He knows stress is unavoidable to some extent, but he’s sometimes very worried about how it weighs you down more than most people. While Cheol might help you manage the source of the stress, Mingaho will be more worried about reducing the stress itself because it’s a good tool to have when you can’t avoid stressful situations or prioritize your way through it. Again, I promise I’m not recycling ideas here, but I genuinely think he’d be all over making sure you eat and sleep and find ways to relax. Even if you aren’t into meditation, he’ll have you try things like deep breathing, painting, and tai chi. Will not let you feel bad for a second about how other people seem to be able to handle this sort of stress. It doesn’t matter if other people can because it’s you he’s worried about. 

Seungkwan

While you’re a big picture person, he’s a small details person. It’s never bothered him, he actually enjoys that you think differently than him and open his eyes to things. But the cool thing is that he can do the same for you. You’re overwhelmed by or totally miss details sometimes, but he’ll do little things to show you that it’s not so scary. Like if you’re watching a movie together, he’ll pick out a little detail and say, “Oh my god, did you notice that?” He’ll roll the movie back and let you focus on it. Or he’ll encourage you to slow down for a second and reread the email you’re about to send. Or he’ll assure you that it’s okay if you made a mistake and that you can fix it. He will never, ever let you feel stupid for needing the little reminders to take a moment and pay attention to the details.

Vernon

Now, here’s the thing. He’s forgetful and yet not. Let me explain. He knows you forget to pack your lunch, so he does. He knows you forget your laptop charger when you put away your laptop, so when he sees the lone charger, he’ll put it with your laptop. He knows you sometimes forget to put the cap back on the toothpaste and puts it back on wordlessly. But you help him too. You remember names when he doesn’t. You don’t complain when he forgets to put the toilet seat down. You sometimes remember his schedule better than he does. I’m actually really soft thinking about the way you guys might help each other out with your own versions of forgetfulness. 

Chan 

In the beginning of your relationship, he thought your impatience was kind of cute. Don’t get me wrong, he still does, but he has come to realize just how frustrated you are sometimes because of it. Sometimes it’s little things like something taking too long to bake in the oven. Sometimes it’s that it takes too much time to actually fold your laundry. Sometimes it’s that slow driver in front of you on your way home. Sometimes it’s that you have an appointment in a couple hours and you can’t fathom squeezing anything else in before that. He helps by trying to counter this impatience in ways, sometimes subtle, sometimes not. He distracts you while something bakes, or he offers to fold your laundry, or he drives you wherever you need to go, handing you the aux cord. And on those appointment days, he wakes up early with you to help fill the time in a way that doesn’t feel constricting, assuring you that you won’t be late because he won’t let you be.

[bloomzone]

hellooo, i have a silly question:

how can i be more productive and have a better mindset? i'm currently in high school, and my grades are terribly dropping. i have 0 motivation, and i cant seem to focus on anything. i really want to be productive, but uhhh i also have strict parents.. i need help!!

hi pookie AAAH u are going through a lot let's break all that into chunks first !

How to be productive !

1.Visualize Success

Picture the outcome of completing your tasks to stay motivated.

2. Plan Your Day

Make a To-Do List: Write down tasks in order of priority.

Set Specific Goals: Break larger tasks into smaller, actionable steps.

3. Create a Routine

Establish a consistent daily schedule to build habits.

Start with high-energy tasks in the morning and save lighter ones for later.

4. Avoid Multitasking

Focus on one task at a time for better quality and efficiency.

5. Minimize Distractions

Put your phone on silent or use apps to block distractions.

Work in a clean, quiet, and organized environment.

6. Use Time Management Techniques

Pomodoro Technique: Work for 25 minutes, take a 5-minute break, and repeat.

Time Blocking: Allocate specific hours for tasks or categories.

7. Take Care of Yourself

Sleep: Ensure you get 7-8 hours of rest.

Nutrition: Eat a balanced diet to maintain energy.

Exercise: Physical activity improves focus and reduces stress.

8. Avoid Perfectionism

Aim for progress, not perfection. Sometimes "done" is better than "perfect."

9. Reward Yourself

Celebrate small wins to stay motivated.

how to improve your mindset ?

I have a blog where I talked about that with details (click here!)

High school study method

I feel you I'm also in high school and grades are ONE AND FOREVER thing to care about .Improving your grades back in high school is completely achievable if U take small consistent steps and focus on progress rather than perfection as I said before .. First, create a study plan that breaks your day into manageable chunks of work and rest—this will help you avoid feeling overwhelmed. Start with your most difficult or important subjects when your energy is highest, and review class notes daily to reinforce what you’ve learned. Don’t be afraid to ask your teachers for help; they’re there to guide you and will appreciate your effort. If you struggle to stay motivated, remind yourself why education is important—whether it’s to achieve your dream career, make your family proud, or prove to yourself that you can succeed. Celebrate small wins, like completing an assignment on time or understanding a tough concept, and reward yourself with something you enjoy. Remember, you don’t have to do it alone .. study with ur friends (I mean ppl who have interest in studying), use online resources, and focus on one step at a time. You’re capable of so much more than you think ..

Study methods !

The Active Study Cycle

1. Preview the Material

Skim the chapter or topic you’ll study before class. Look at headings, subheadings, key terms, and summaries to get an overview.

2. Attend and Engage in Class

Actively participate, ask questions, and take notes in your own words. Highlight key points your teacher emphasizes.CHANGE UR MINDSET study = great future

3. Review and Organize Notes

After class, rewrite or organize your notes neatly. Use diagrams, bullet points, or flowcharts to simplify complex concepts. TRY TO REWRITE UR NOTES UNTIL THEY STUCK IN UR BRAIN

4. Apply Active Recall

Test yourself regularly by asking questions about what you’ve studied. Use flashcards, quizzes, or apps like Anki to reinforce memory.

5. Practice Spaced Repetition

Review the material multiple times over several days instead of cramming. This method strengthens long-term retention.

6. Teach Someone Else

Try explaining the topic to a friend or even to yourself . Teaching reveals gaps in your understanding and reinforces knowledge.

7. Use Past Papers and Practice Tests

Solve past exam questions or practice problems under timed conditions to familiarize yourself with the format and improve time management.

8. Break the shit Down

Divide your study sessions into 25-30 minute chunks with short breaks in between (Pomodoro Technique). This prevents burnout and keeps you focused.

9. Create a Study Space

Set up a clean, quiet space with all the tools you need (notebooks, pens, etc.)

10. End with a Summary

At the end of each study session, summarize the main points of what you’ve learned to solidify your understanding.

strict parents and motivation!

I FEEL YOU CUZ SAME

Dealing with strict parents while staying motivated as a student can feel overwhelming, but remember: Tough times never last, but tough people do. Your parents' strictness likely stems from their desire to see you succeed, even if their methods feel harsh. Instead of focusing on the pressure, channel that energy into proving to yourself—and them—that you are capable.

Your future is created by what you do today, not tomorrow Stay consistent with your efforts, even when it’s hard. Break your goals into small, manageable steps and celebrate every victory, no matter how small. Treat your studies as a way to build your dream life, not just something to satisfy your parents.

When things feel too heavy, remind yourself: You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think You’re not alone in this journey, and every challenge you face is shaping you into a stronger person.

Finally, keep in mind: Success is the best revenge cuz One day, when you’ve achieved your goals and created a life you love, you’ll look back and thank yourself for not giving up. Trust the process and keep moving forward—you’re stronger than you think!

Stay focused on your goals and remember that small steps lead to big results. Challenges, like dealing with strict parents or tough situations, are opportunities to grow stronger. Trust yourself, keep pushing forward, and know that your effort today shapes your success tomorrow. "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

© bloomzone

[stay-dazed]

stray kids as dads

notes: female reader, and you're married here. so sorry if anything came out repetitive!

chan: chan, as anyone would have expected, is an amazing father, thanks in part to raising 7 other men for a living. you're so happy to see your husband and your son taime bond together over the years, especially over chan's favorite thing - music. he takes taime to the studio fairly regularly, where uncle jisung and changbin are so excited to see him that they barely get any work done. and when chan works from home, taime joins him by sitting on his lap and asking him tons of questions about how all the colorful tabs on his laptop work.

chan patiently answers all his questions, even if he's answered some before. taime's only 7 years old after all, so he doesn't always remember what chan's told him. but he still shows a ton of interest, and always says he wants to grow up to be just like his appa.

chan really is a great dad. he's very patient and always willing to help his child when he needs it, although he doesn't always make problems just go away. he may just try to guide taime through it so he can learn to make good decisions for himself as he grows. he's also very playful with taime. they love to play-wrestle, play various sports together since chan grew up incredibly athletic himself, race each other, and so on.

actually one of chan's favorite ways they race together is when they come home from running an errand or from picking taime up from school, and they run inside to give you a big hug. you just love it when they do that, because it makes you feel so loved and appreciated. the hug may catch you off guard while you're busy working around the house, and it may almost knock you over now and again, but you wouldn't ever miss a hug from your favorite boys.

"okay, buddy, ready to see who can give mom the biggest hug first?"

minho: while minho wasn't initially expecting to be a father, at least not anytime soon, he still became a great dad to your daughter, jimin. she's 3 now and absolutely has minho wrapped around her little finger, though he'd never admit to that. she loves to play dress-up with her appa, adding clips and bows to his hair, messily painting his nails, and putting shaky lip tint onto his lips. and the entire time minho just sits there patiently, smiling at jimin's excited expression and encouraging her with kind words," i'm sure i look very pretty, sweetie. thank you." his face drops if he ever catches you laughing, though.

jimin also loves having lazy days, and minho never argues with that. so on the days he gets off from work, they'll both stay in their pajamas all day, watch cartoons, eat sweets for their meals, and take naps. the lock screen on your phone is actually a photo of them sleeping together; jimin in her little pink pajama set laying on her appa's chest comfortably, a little pigtail in both of their hair.

but what makes minho happiest is watching jimin play with the fuzzy trio - soonie, doongie, and dori. she'll take one of the feather toys and play with them for hours, if they have the energy. and minho could watch the entire time, sipping on his coffee and taking a couple videos. he's just so happy she loves the cats as much as he does.

"jimin baby, look at the camera. hi pretty! can you smile for me?"

changbin: changbin was so ready and so excited to be a father. he just knew he'd be a great dad, with how understanding and good at listening he is. and sure enough, he became a rock for your 4 year old daughter nari. whenever she's crying over things important to her, like spilling her juice or missing her favorite show on pbs, he listens closely to her while wiping her tears away with his thumb. he then reassures her that he understands exactly why she's upset, and that things will be okay. he'll just refill her juice or put on another show she loves.

changbin really is nari's superhero. you can just tell how much she looks up to him already. like the time she accidentally tripped and hit her head against the leg of a chair. she cried and ran to her appa, holding her arms open for changbin to pick her up, which he did immediately. he held her safe against his chest and looked closely at her head to make sure everything was okay. after confirming it just left a bump, he rocked her back and forth, saying softly," it's okay aegi, you'll be okay." you came in from the backyard to see him rocking her in his arms.

she looked up at him with starry eyes, slowly calming down. eventually, she actually fell asleep in his arms, completely forgetting about the pain. you smile as you watch them. changbin is your superhero too.

"let me give it a kiss, aegi. i have magic kisses that'll make it all better."

hyunjin: you could tell just how ecstatic your husband was to have a little baby girl, only a month old now. hyunjin holds joon in his arms as often as he can, without taking her away from your bonding time of course. he has a gentle, adoring look in his eyes as he watches her sleep, all swaddled up and comfy. he'll sit in silence for a bit before expressing a random thought like," she has your nose, love" or "do you think she's dreaming right now? what do babies dream about?"

he's confided in you before about how he's scared, wondering if he'll truly be a good father. but you have so much confidence in him. he's such a patient and loving person, and he's very protective of your little girl. you can see so clearly the happiness he has when doing even the most simple everyday things, like helping you choose her clothes in the morning or buckling her up in her carseat, cooing at her the entire time. and he's especially happy when showing her off to people. he just beams with pride as they also coo over her and say sweet things like," oh she's so beautiful, just like her mama."

it's the greatest when watching the members argue to see who can hold joon first, and who will be the best uncle. you and hyunjin both relax on the couch, leaning against each other and fighting against the fatigue that creeps in after many a sleepless night. you watch chan hold joon, baby-talking to her while jisung looks over his shoulder with the widest smile on his face. joon will be raised surrounded by so much love, and you couldn't be more thankful.

"my mom gifted us the socks she's wearing- changbin make sure you're supporting her head. i know you know, just be careful. she's so fragile."

jisung: jisung was so nervous to become a father, wondering if he could really raise a child. but even then, he couldn't hide his very obvious excitement. he couldn't believe he'd have a son of his own that would look up to him, just like he had his dad. and junseo, now 2, is truly the light of his life. besides you of course. though the both of you learn through trial and error, just as all first-time parents do, jisung is still the perfect father in your eyes.

he's patient and loving, and lots of fun. your son can be heard giggling all throughout the day as jisung plays with him, or tickles him just to hear that happy sound. he does the exact same thing in public. anything silly to make his baby boy laugh, even if people may look at him weird. you can tell jisung's anxiety, while not completely gone, has decreased significantly since becoming more confident as a father. he's not nervous ordering for his family at restaurants, or taking junseo to his doctor appointments on his own when you're busy visiting a friend.

he still panics inside just a little whenever junseo gets hurt or catches a cold, but he's fantastic at remaining calm and patching him up. he'll carefully clean the owie, put a bandaid on it, and give it a kiss to make it feel better. and he takes time to learn recipes from his mom that help battle a cold. jisung is growing so much and you couldn't be more proud of him.

like chan, he takes his son to the studio with him in order to raise him around music. though it's a little more difficult to concentrate than in chan's case, since junseo is really young and needs more attention to avoid getting himself into trouble (which he gets from jisung, let's be honest.)

"hey junseo, jagi, could you please not climb on appa's chair? thank you. wait- no no, don't pull those wires!"

felix: felix knew since he was in highschool that he wanted to be a father, especially of a daughter. the thought of having his own little girl had always appealed to him, making his heart feel warm. and after a long and complicated birth process that occurred a month early, you both welcomed your son theo into the world. felix could do nothing but hold his tiny miracle baby, his teddy, in his arms and cry happy tears as you recovered in bed.

now theo's 5 years old and while he's smaller than other boys his age, he's still a little spitfire with enough energy and curiosity to last him a lifetime. and felix is still absolutely head over heels for him. on his days off, felix spends time with theo by watching cartoons with him, dancing to music with him (usually stray kids), and baking with him, which often leads to some messy outcome. but at least they're really cute while doing it.

felix is a great father, so gentle and amazing at teaching. the moments you catch them in make your heart swell with happiness and gratitude. for example, the time you were looking out the kitchen window as you did the dishes, and you saw felix showing theo a bug outside, encouraging him to always be curious about the world around him.

or like right now. 8:00, theo's bedtime before starting his first day at kindergarten tomorrow. you find felix holding him safely in his arms, telling him a story in korean that his mom used to tell when he was theo's age. it's sentimental, as well as teaching theo to appreciate the cultures coming from both his parents. felix, just like you, is nervous about sending his baby to school tomorrow, but you know they'll both be just fine.

"okay teddy bear, time to go to sleep. you have a big day tomorrow. i love you so much, son."

seungmin: similar to minho, seungmin never expected to be a father. like at all in his entire life. but when it happened unexpectedly, he was supported by his family and closest friends. in time, he began to develop more confidence in himself. and as each day with his little girl chin-sun passed by, seungmin was filled with more and more love and comfort. chin-sun brought him comfort.

and she still does to this day, as she grows closer to turning 3 years old. you can see the comfort seungmin feels in the way he picks up your little girl to spin her around, or the way he lets her wear his shirt after bathtime even though it's the size of a tent on her. the way he kisses her forehead every night after she falls asleep, and the way he sings to her every day.

like right now. it's time for dinner, which means cleanup time in chin-sun's play room, and you can hear seungmin singing. it's a little distant over the bubbling of the food on the stovetop, but you know it by heart and hum along anyway. it's called "the cleanup" song. seungmin made it up himself to encourage your little girl to have fun while doing things she's supposed to do. there's also songs for bathtime, bedtime, driving to grandma's house, etc. it's incredibly creative, and one of the cutest things you've ever seen your husband do.

people who don't genuinely know seungmin may find him blunt or standoffish, but you know how he really is. he becomes a better dad every day, if that's even possible, and he'd do absolutely anything for his two favorite girls.

"okay silly, let's go eat. you did a good job cleaning up! did you have fun singing with appa?"

jeongin: jeongin honestly never put much thought into kids and if he wanted them. but the day you announced you were pregnant, he was filled with determination to take very good care of his wife and child. he worked so hard right off the bat, reading books on pregnancy and birthing, and calling his dad to ask for advice on being one himself. the farther along you got in your pregnancy, the more protective jeongin became over you. all he wanted was for you to relax and stay safe.

and the day your son haneul came along, jeongin was beaming with pride. he told you multiple times how thankful he was to you for providing him with something so precious. that night in the hospital, where you were kept until morning just to be safe, jeongin again promised himself to be the best father and husband he could ever be, before dozing off in a rickety chair placed next to your bed.

now, a year later, haneul is one happy little boy. always smiling and giggling, and he absolutely loves giving people hugs and kisses. jeongin was never the overly affectionate type, but now all he loves to do is give his son hugs and kisses. his uncles absolutely adore it as well and are eager to babysit him whenever possible. simply put, haneul just has a way of making everyone around him happy.

you're filled with joy every time you see your husband spend happy moments with your boy. moments such as jeongin picking little designer shoes for hanuel's outfits, or patiently letting haneul climb all over him as he sits on the couch. it's so sweet to see. jeongin really turned out to be the amazing father he promised to be.

"are you having fun, son? yeah? ah hannie, lift your leg, you got appa's hair."