#they make each other feel insecure!!!
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Mike felt like he lost Will and said the last year was weird for him because he didn't have Will by his side and he said he was worrying too much about his own personal insecurities regarding himself and his relationship with El and that he basically regrets not doing more to stay best friends with Will and we know he even called him a lot... so he tried so hard because he was feeling awful and SPECIFICALLY because he was missing Will...
Mike was missing Will more than he was missing El, and even if he was worrying about her it wasn't only because he was worrying about how she was doing there...
in fact, after she started telling him that everything was great...it was because he was worrying about how her doing good in Lenora while he was being bullied at school was making him feel like he should be more cool if he ever wanted to stay in a relationship with her!
and so he didn't even realize that there was something wrong with her in the past months because he was focused on feeling bad for himself...
their whole relationship was based on lies for those months, all those letters that El sent were her putting up an act with him and at the same time he was feeling like a loser back home and like he had even lost the only person that always made him feel better about himself
wow.
Byler is coming to us next season because that's what Mike needs the most (and even wants the most)
He's gonna realize that soon.
❤️
#byler#will byers#mike wheeler#this is monumental#because Mike and El make each other feel bad when they are in a romantic relationship#they make each other feel insecure!!!#that is not an endgame ship!#stranger things#el hopper byers
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I imagine Vasco and Ludovica have a big painting (portrait but with two people) in Vasco's house (probably his father insisted of getting one of these, people used to do it in the old days, especially wealthy ones). While it's very serious and formal, in the way all these portraits were, it is also very intimate (at least it's implications). I imagine Machete just staring at it sometimes, feeling small while looking at the big painting. And sad, maybe jealous but I don't think he'd resent Ludovica. He, most of all, understands.
.
#I have a feeling he doesn't visit Vasco's estate that often#the situation is crystal clear to him and everyone involved is on the same page#but he can't help feeling like an intruder in their home#it reminds him of what he can't have and makes him fear he will never measure up to Vasco's lawfully wedded wife#he's petty and insecure and watching the two play off each other so naturally still puts a pit in his stomach#he doesn't resent Ludovica on a rational level he thinks she's a smart brave and overall quite likable person in fact#but can't really relax in her presence either#plus even though she's friendly and welcoming she can be kind of assertive and candid and Machete tends to read that negatively#answered#anonymous#Vaschete scenarios#Vaschete lore#I don't think they interact often (why would they) but he could have a distant but courteous relationship with Ludovica's partner#if they ended up alone in a room they might eventually have a few sparse and impersonal intercharges#and maybe feel a sense of lukewarm kinship and understanding even though they don't know each other
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I refuse to go into more detail, but, I will no longer hold my tongue. my biggest gripe with this fandom is the way a majority of it erases Lo'ak's actual trauma and struggles (with his identity, his father/family, his clan, etc), and essentially gives him Spider's traumas/struggles in some idealized form (whether for over the top and oversimplified "hurt/comfort" scenarios, or max woobification), while absolutely dragging and/or ignoring Spider's entire character and the realistic depictions of those traumas and what that does to a kid.
like I can't exactly put words to it or go into a deep analytical post, but I've been thinking about it, and some other stuff I've seen online have been making me think about it.
stop doing a disservice to both of my boys. they both have such interesting and complex stories and you're ruining it!!!
#also. please stop acting like they hate each other deep down#idk why I keep seeing this. they are best friends and. more importantly. they're brothers.#they're dumb teenage boys and they get into squabbles and hold grudges and say the wrong thing sometimes. but they're brothers.#even if. *if*. they had moments of true anger or hatred or jealousy. they would be short-lived and come from a place of insecurity. and-#lead to insurmountable guilt immediately after.#and that bond. the understanding between them. even considering how distinctly different the circumstances of their daddy issues/identity-#issues are. is what makes them so interesting.#that bond then needs to be considered in conversations of the aftermath of Spider saving Q. cause Lo'ak will understand him best out of-#anyone in the Sully family. not to say that there will not be anger or fighting. but he will not immediately go to kill his *brother*#anywho. idk why I expect fandom spaces to be full of media literacy and understanding of complex characters. but I thought I'd throw this-#out there. feel free to build on this.#spider socorro#spider avatar#avatar spider#miles spider socorro#miles socorro#loak sully#avatar loak#atwow loak#lo'ak sully#lo'ak te suli tsyeyk'itan#lo'ak avatar#avatar 2#avatar the way of water
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Okay challenge mode. You are a therapist and Eridan Ampora from Homestuck has just walked right out of his intro page into your office. How do you fix him?
put him and karkat in a room with a pile of stuff and tell them they can't leave until they've jumped into it and talked about their feelings
#realtalk therapy doesnt work unless the person getting the therapy puts in the effort to make it work#eridan starts the comic in complete and utter denial that he's in need of help#so there's really nothing i nor any stranger could do about that#HOWEVER he does talk to karkat often about his feelings (and vice versa) and#the reason they didnt hang out during the game seems to be#1) they were on separate teams and didnt realize the teams were the same team until later on#2) by then it was too late and eridan had aggro'd all his angels#3) gamzee was deliberately keeping eridan away from karkat and vice versa (likely bc gamzee had a palecrush on kk)#4) karkat was too busy falling victim to his own insecurities abt being a leader to pay attention to his actual friendships#4a) eg. it shouldve been the time player doing the frog hunt with kanaya & not the blood player#like im not saying moirallegiance with karkat would have fixed all of eridans problems but i am saying#what eridan really needed was a friend who took his problems seriously and could see past his bullshitting#and karkat already WAS that friend - they just never hung out#so by the time the meteor rolls around eridan has spent WEEKS feeling abandoned anxious and alone on his death planet#and karkat has gotten used to not thinking about eridan too much#so karkat - who is basically eridans only actual friend at that point - isnt able to get through to him & eridan snaps#like the thing about sburb/homestuck is that it really stresses the importance of friendship and working together#letting each other help with each others' problems#thats why the smallest viable game is still two people by necessity#so when we see things like gamzee snapping or eridan snapping or vriska snapping#as much as these are the 'fault' of the person snapping they also need to be viewed as comprehensive team failures#the people who should have spent the game together didnt and the people who shouldnt have spent the game together did#vriska was allowed to bully tf outta tavros and nobody intervened#eridan was left all alone and nobody tried to help him#and everybody was mean to gamzee and nobody tried to connect with him#and you know whose job it is to make sure the right people are hanging out together? the blood player#and unfortunately our blood player was so insecure that he was doing jobs that werent his to do#im not saying pale erikar would fix homestuck but i am saying pale erikar is a symptom of things being fixed in homestuck
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@disastertourwaterdeepedition
Sorry for the weird fucking post but like tumblr straight up ate your ask?? I had to search and screenshot from my email??
Its like super fine I love big rants and big feelings (especially about the blorbo of the month).
Whoa buddy if you wanna talk about a rant. This got so long I'm putting it under a read more.
I'm not sure any of this is above board conscious thought process. When he looks to Orym, when he thinks about how he feels about Orym, I think Dorian, king of compartmentalizing, gets a rush of all three of the things in the post. He gets a little too lost in thought looking at the way Orym's hair now tries to curl against his ear or how well tailored the armor is to his body, he first gets hit with the Will guilt. Then he thinks about "ohmygodtheresawaron" and he'd shovel all of that down. Because its not time to think about Orym and him. But he knows by the way Orym watches him "sleep". He knows by the way Orym refused to be princess carried in Aeror. (Seriously dude Dorian princess carries everyone. It would have been less suspicious if you let it happen). He knows because Orym didn't see his husband when they were in Zephrah. But when he dares himself to actually think about a possible future together, he uses the big three to shove it down. And no, he has no clue that Orym thinks he doesn't return his feelings. (Wow you're right. Pronouns are hard)
Lol to finally answer your question: I'm not sure! Because the thing is! Orym has gone down twice in a battle with Dorian there! And honestly if Orym being on death's door doesn't make either of them confess, i'm not sure what will! (thats a lie I do have an idea). But like Orym went to the moon and back and almost died on the moon and all the count communicate to Dorian was "I miss you"!! Orym nearly died twice in one battle and he didn't think to give Dorian a sloppy, "If I die again I want to have kissed you once" kiss before going in for another round of getting hacked on. Dorian watched him go down and had to bring him back from death's door (one failed save scared the shit out of me) and he didn't think to give Orym a "We need you, I need you" kiss.
My unfortunate thought process, which I can't decide if I want it to come true or not, is that Dorian has to get hurt. Like when I say hurt I fucking mean it. Taken down in a round or two, two failed death saves, hurt. Because then Orym will have to face losing Dorian again. Face losing the man he loves, again. He pours a healing potion into Dorian's mouth because warlocks don't have a single healing spell. (Just checked). Orym feels so helpless in saving Dorian, because a healing potion isn't nearly enough to keep him up. He starts to cry over Dorian's (now conscious) body. He whispers between sobs "Not again, not again. Dorian you can't leave me. I love you, please, I never got to tell you, please stay alive." and Dorian, having heard all of that, reaches up to cup Orym's cheek and says. "Alright, just for you though."
Or something like that.
As much as I would love for them to be adults and just talk to each other. I know thats not going to happen. (Please, Robbie, Liam, prove me wrong.) So I think major tragedy will be the reason they confess to each other. Because they're idiots in love with a lot of weight on their shoulders.
#sleep drunk stage door#orym of the air ashari#dorian storm#dorym#written before watching 106#these two are going to be the death of me#i was thinking about DORIAN DYING all the way home from work#almost cried a few times#but like the thing is with these two idiots is that theyre both hell insecure#maybe not with each other in a way that makes them avoid each other. but orym defo does not think he deserves dorian#in whatever way you want to take that the answer is yes for all of it.#and dorian is insecure in the way that i dont know if he expects orym to get over will for him#he doesnt doubt that orym loves him. and he'd never blame him for still loving will. but dorian doesnt think hes worthy enough.#or that hes worth the effort of moving on#does any of this make sense? I was up too early and worked hard today#so sorry if this is a rambling mess.#i feel like i didn't answer your question i filled out a writing prompt.#my b#i like hearing myself talk if you couldnt tell#certified yapper
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truly i love all of you and i'm so grateful for all the support i get on my vanilla milkshake posts here because i've just seen the way people talk about vanilla milkshake and mysticao on twitter and its genuinely taken 50 years off my life. now i've been reminded as to why i should never join the crk fandom on twitter
#its not even just twitter but the comments i get on tiktok all the time make me want to blow myself up genuinely#on twitter i just saw a thread about mysticao going like Oh durr how can u ship it after reading ep 4#and then proceeds to post a reply saying “enemies to lovers is really good if its done well!! but theyre just torturing each other here” ??#so you dont like enemies to lovers then . what do you think enemies to lovers means ??? they just argue sometimes? lol#also wdym “if its done well” we haven't gotten the full lore of the beasts#and its implied that they only turned this way because they were wronged somehow#that + the amount of power and responsibility that having the full soul jam put on them it was literally a recipe for corruption#its not even as if dark cacao thinks mystic flour was just evil to be evil he literally CALLS HER OUT on being insecure#she wanted to create a world without individuality and without personal interests that could lead to harm of others#which i think is heavily tied to her backstory we havent seen yet#imo. this would in fact be enemies to lovers done well#i dont even ship them btw. but i feel obligated to defend it since i just hate ppl who take this stuff at face value#its such a shame that twitter people have the literacy skills of a 1st grader because i would love to post my crk art on there#and make some friends#but if ppl would be like Erm you cant ship shadowvanilla its hashtag toxic and a red flag!!#then like oookay lol whatever man#sorry for the yappathon#txt#not art#discourse
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one of the things that fascinate me about thawne: yes, he CAN be normal with kids! surprisingly normal!
((not at all times, though. his mental illness still spills through and as usual he, in trying to manipulate or hurt others, spits out at them the exact stuff that would hurt him (or have in his childhood/barry's rejection interpretation) the most in the first place lmao))
but at the same time. his like second instinct when doing his bullshit is FUCK THEM (as) KIDS
(and, well. whatever this classifies as)
#whats wrong with him. seriously. he loves picking fights with literal children So Much#AND NONE OF THEM WITH WALLY ON THE MATTER OF BEING THE BIGGEST FLASH FAN. HOW DID THAT NEVER HAPPEN#about the middle page. honestly i DIDNT remember he is a Jerk in that way too until i checked his interactions with bart for this post#this man officially should not be allowed near children as a mentor.#just straight up drops ALL his insecurities on a poor kid in trying to make him feel ashamed. NO breaking the abuse cycle for this bad boy#the only thing he doesnt say is the direct 'you are a disappointment' altho the message is still the same 💀💀💀💀💀💀#AND I BET HES HELLA PROUD OF THAT. I MEAN CONSIDERING THIS FACT IG HE DOES TRY TO BE BETTER THAN HIS PARENTS. SOMEWHAT.#and omg he formulates his point like in problem based learning (leading the child to making the correct conclusion themselves)#im dying. professor to the fucking core.#and the way he feels the need to bring up flash facts in his appeal?? EO YOURE SO HOPELESS. THIS IS 100% HOW BART SAW HIM THROUGH#and god knows what he told thad promising to get him out of the speed force if he fought barry there and whether he was going to fulfill it#and do you even IMAGINE how FUCKED barry's mental condition would be growing up if thawne fulfilled his button threat#and i really REALLY wonder about the tornado twins and their relationship with 'uncle eobard' but that will be a separate post#he doesnt know any other way tho. and he might be actually mad at bart for not supporting his every action as The Flash#like. he tries to play family but the second they question he just goes WHATEVER. I DONT NEED IT. FLASH OF MY VISION RUNS ALONE#his problem is that he just wants attention. he doesnt see family/heroing for what 'its really about' or downsides that may come with them#everything is so idealized in his head. and the moment he faces reality with its complications the concept immediately gets antagonized.#and then he reconsiders and changes the conditions but fails each time never realizing the problem is his mindset and not everything else#black white at its finest yall#and man. RELATABLE.#also WHY is he standing LIKE A STATUE when appearing in front of bart????😭😭😭😭#poor museum rat has no idea what heroes in real life stand like#eobard thawne#professor zoom#reverse flash#the reverse flash#bart allen#the flash#dc
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Thinking about Lestat seeing Louis’s eating patterns as a waste of his gift/himself while Armand gives Louis food that he literally can not enjoy or digest just so he has something on his stomach
#if i had to give each of louis relationship a theme loustat would be shame and loumand would be enabling#which are both really bad ways of “helping” a partner with an ed#lestats shame and anger tactics only make louis more resentful and less likely to eat#while armand having the little drinks and exotic animals and the human food dont actually deal with louis problem head on-#cus at the end of the day louis is still not eating enough#and i think they really exemplifies both of their trauma and abandonment issues#both of them came up chronically food insecure#lestat was put into the role of provider at a very early age and stayed in that role until he died/was turned#so for him rejecting what lestat gives is like rejecting lestat cus he doesnt have anything else to make him “useful”#and lestats reaction to rejection is anger and control so he tries to shame and control louis into eating more/human#while armand has been abandoned by literally everyone he loves up till this point so for him its like#ok i can make people dtay if i give them what they want and what louis wants is to not feel bad about eating and so armand does that#but it still doesnt get to the root of the issue which is louis having poor coping mechanisms for his grief and other emotions#like either way you slice it. louis is not meeting his nutritional needs. he eats drinks from one guy eats a fox or some other small animal#when he should be having like two dudes at least#and then he has human food which according to anne rice makes vampires vomit up their whole stomach content so...#louis imma send you to my therapist shes great#interview with the vampire#iwtv#louis de pointe du lac#amc iwtv#lestat de lioncourt#ldpdl#iwtv 2022#armand iwtv#armand#loumand#loustat#like armand gives louis food he cant eat just so he knows theres something in louis stomach even for a short while
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When I suggest Mike’s arc is in part a queer coming of age story and not just him being some prize to help El or Will defeat the big bad—
Angry anons:
#byler#mike wheeler#I’m sorry but you don’t turn off your protagonists pov and expect to get away with it#you do it to hide something and save it for the end#if mikes arc ends with I love you will or them just having feelings for each other#all that does is equate to El and Mike’s love saving the day#it’s more than compatibility or lack there of#it’s the fucking 80s and their queer okay#let’s wake up and smell the roses#s5 is going to be rated m it’s going to be dark#everyone is going to reach their limits#if you think mikes limits are that he’s insecure bc he can’t save everyone and what will resolve that is him saving someone…#and that’s it…#what…?#that’s not… that’s not worthy of confusing your audience the entire show and especially the last two seasons#there needs to be something to make all those moments in previous seasons feel more impactful#and Mike and Will both assuming their alone in going crazy in the 80s#only to find out they’re not#but that they’re actually going crazy together#that’s a slow burn worth waiting until the end for#slow burn is about slowly burning#that’s what they’ve been doing for the last 4 seasons#I don’t get making their end look identical to milkvans by just recycling their scenes in the last season#the whole point of milkvan is to show what not to do#so anything that happened between them#we can pretty much rule out for byler#the truth is a lot more complex than what s4 presented#if it was really as simple as presented#s5 would offer no surprises#it would just fall flat
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mutually overprotective
#see tiziano can handle himself even when hes not the best in fights but squalo fights for his honour anyways#because tiziano is the closest to perfect a man could be in squalos eyes so he gets offended on tiz's behalf 😭😭#on the flip side tiziano knows squalo is insecure and oversensitive and he lets squalo fight for him and for himself mostly#especially since squalo feels an unhealthy need to be tough and masculine so people will accept him as a man#and tiz just comforts him when he's upset after because thats what actually helps most#but yknow tiz gets really fucking sick of people being an asshole to squalo especially just to get a fucking rise out of him#and it makes him ESPECIALLY mad when he can tell squalos trying not to cry#hes diplomacy first for most things but get him angry and tiziano is scarier than squalo lol#i love them they love each other#golden wind#vento aureo#jjba fanart#jjba#squatizi#jjba squalo#jjba tiziano#Squalo#Tiziano#amby draws#my art
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another snippet from the Grand Princess novel. I am going to be SO ANNOYING about this. (spoilers for their first life! )
Although he didn’t want to admit it, Pei Wenxuan still remembered that at the beginning of their marriage, when he lifted Li Rong’s veil, she raised her head and looked up at him with embarrassment and curiosity. Then, when they exchanged cups of wine, she said in a frank manner: “Wenxuan, no matter how we came to be together, having become husband and wife, I still want to live with you for the rest of my life.” At that time, he also seriously thought that he would live with Li Rong, have children and live peacefully for the rest of their lives.
That was, until Li Rong found out that he liked Qin Zhenzhen.
In truth, he didn’t even know what kind of feelings there were between him and Qin Zhenzhen, whether it was love or merely responsibility. They grew up together as children, and he only had her in his heart and hoped to live with Qin Zhenzhen for the rest of his life, but he could not do so.
Later on, Qin Zhenzhen married Li Rong’s brother, Crown Prince Li Chuan.
As Crown Prince, Li Chuan was a good Crown Prince but not a good husband. He married for political reasons, so although he was just the Crown Prince at the time, he already had a Princess Consort and four concubines. Qin Zhenzhen had a mild temperament and was unfamiliar with Palace affairs. If not for the Crown Prince’s favor and Pei Wenxuan’s help, she would have been long buried in the schemes of the Eastern Palace.
He helped her. Li Rong naturally knew about it, but she didn’t mention it at first. Later on, when he secretly rescued Qin Zhenzhen at a palace banquet and almost was exposed, Li Rong could only step in and help him with arrangements.
That day, they were sitting in the carriage on their way home, and Li Rong was silent. He was a little panicked at that time and wanted to explain, but he didn’t know what to explain because he felt that no matter what Li Rong said, she would be right.
Then, Li Rong returned home and after entering the bedchambers, she walked to the table and poured tea for herself. She turned her back to him and asked: “Do you like her?”
Pei Wenxuan stood at the door. He actually intended to say no, but he felt that it would not be completely truthful, so he replied honestly: “I can’t forget her.”
“What is your relationship with her?”
Li Rong held the cup of tea and looked very calm. Pei Wenxuan still told her the truth, their engagement when they were young because they were childhood sweethearts. After his family had fallen, the Qin family annulled the engagement, and Qin Zhenzhen was forced to marry into the Eastern Palace…
“I just wanted to help her,” He said in a low voice, “No other intentions. She’s the Crown Prince’s Side Consort now. There’s nothing else I can do.”
After he had spoken, Li Rong didn’t speak for a long time. That silence became a deeply engraved impression of that night for Pei Wenxuan.
He saw that Li Rong kept drinking water, one cup after another. After a while, Li Rong seemed to calm down. She turned her head, stared at him and only asked: “Will you betray me?”
“No.” He answered immediately. He looked at her, “You’re my wife.”
“I’m not your wife.”
Li Rong looked at him with a serious expression: “I’m just your ally.”
These words stunned Pei Wenxuan. Li Rong turned and looked out the window and calmly continued: “In this marriage, you and I had no choice and only did it for power. Truthfully speaking, there’s not one bit of love between us. You have someone in your heart, and I have someone in my heart. It’s just that we didn’t make it clear before and had some misunderstandings. Now that it’s clear, it doesn’t matter.”
“It’s not a big deal either,” Li Rong laughed, her tears seemed like they could fall at any time, “Why didn’t you say so sooner?”
Pei Wenxuan stared blankly at her. He wanted to deny it, but he felt that Li Rong wasn’t wrong either. There was no such love between him and Li Rong because it was impossible for a person to truly love two people at the same time. He already had Qin Zhenzhen in his heart, so how could he make room for Li Rong?
Seeing that he still had not spoken, Li Rong lowered her head and softly said: “If you make it clear, then it won’t be a problem. We will live as we have in the future, but I hope Pei daren remembers this in his heart:
I’m not your wife, and you’re not my husband. I don’t care who is in your heart, and you don’t need to care about who I am with. You and I will have our own lives, and we will each have our own happiness.”
“As long as Pei daren promises me,” Li Rong looked at him, her eyes sharp as a hawk, “You and I are allies, so we must never betray one another.”
That evening, it also rained.
Just like now, the rain was pouring down.
#cdrama#the grand princess spoilers#the princess royal spoilers#the princess royal#the grand princess#this scene has lived in my head since i first read it last year#this is so classic silvia: i would compartmentalize and shut off my emotions in exactly the same way#and try to move forward smoothly with minimal dramatics#so i can deeply empathize with both characters#i just really like both main characters#and all of their mess and insecurities#they try so hard and do their best#their best was not that great in their first life lmao#but damn they did try#like even in this scene!!#they both handle the uncovering of his emotional ties to another woman in Not Great ways#but they are not intentionally being cruel to each other or out to damage each other over it#each wants to be fair (within their own concept of it)#and never intends this to be something to be used to ruin the others life#this is a royal princess like Wanning in The Double#but her reaction is certainly not to try to have this lady murdered#his reaction was perhaps naive and doomed the marriage but his intent was to not be misleading#and he wouldnt make promises that couldnt be kept#this scene crystalized me really liking these 2 and feeling an emotional stake in their happiness#(just becoming good friends or developing as more was fine with me)#cdrama spoilers
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She heard me doing things so she came up to the side of her baby bin and blelelelele'd at me until I noticed her. She greets me every morning where we spend the first hour of every day together, her just resting in my hand and me holding her, often gently petting her head and tiny scales. If there is a heaven, that first hour we spend together is it.
She is getting a larger enclosure for her birthday in a month and a half. :D Hopefully I can get it done in time, as I haven't sculpted a custom enclosure before and will be trying some new artistic critiques. I do have experience sculpting though. My biggest worry is the paints and sealing them properly! Art I can do- but food safe art that will be in a moist bioactive enclosure is new for me.
#From her enclosure camera#hognose#hognose snake#snake#pets#She is getting a bigger enclosure soon it is preordered and we need to wait#She greets me like this every morning#She ate yesterday and should be in a food coma!#You can even see her lump#So I gave her pets and told her I love her#From inside her enclosure the photo of her being held is from yesterday#She really enjoys pets#Especially after a big meal#I need to get a video of her asking for pets#She will pet herself with her chin#And when I stop sometimes she will pet herself with her chin asking for more!#And then I will pet her and she will relax looking like she is in heaven#Those posts saying “snakes cannot enjoy being pet and will only learn to tolerate it” are absolute BS outdated information#from people who are insecure that they are less valid as humans if animals are capable of feeling love and asking for affection#My snake will LITERALLY ASK TO BE PET#And she will pet me too!#I think she saw me petting her#Thought “This feels nice. Is this what we do for each other?”#And when we are snuggling she'll wiggle over to my arm or shoulder and start petting me. She doesn't pet me in any other places.#It is a lot of effort as she has no hands and has to use her chin#moving her whole upper body#So she'll only pet me maybe 20-10 times and take a rest#Does anyone else's snake pet them?#It is unusual but I think maybe she learned it from copying me and it makes her happy ^_^#What a wonderful world we live in where snakes enjoy being pet
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oof other people doing their selfship is so wholesome and romantic and cute
and im here like,,,, yea they're like two wet cats and it's funny
#ik there isnt a 'wrong' way to selfship#but sometimes i do wonder if i should make it more romantic focus#even tho its super ooc for both of em#like imagine them smiling and calling each other sweetie--#ugh no no no oh god no 💀💀#im not saying they dont care abt each other or that theyre toxic to each other#its just that i feel like slowburn fits them more#love at first sight isnt my fav trope so i cant imagine any of my ships being that rlly#uhh anyway tee hee#ignore these weird insecure rant oops#.txt
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also i really shouldn't have written stp because now i have a million ideas for spirit's adventures in new hyrule that I will never have time to actually write :((
#i freely admit that the whole 'spirit met jean at work' thing was an on the fly idea i didn't put much thought into#and then when i was writing stp i impulsively added that bit about jean and linebeck being family friends and you know what? that changes#things. like jean and spirit totally had to have known each other really well before they dated#and that thought has led me down a rabbit hole of thinking about who spirit dated before jean. and i know spirit was a serial dater before#jean (and would try to change his personality to make his partner like him more) but now i have a specific idea about Spirit's horrible#situationship before jean that is making me crazy (hint: spirit pulled a warriors and found someone who reminded him of warriors in the#worst way possible)#and i knew before stp that jean was a very calm person if only to highlight how over it he had to be to dump spirit after 6 months of his#bullshit BUT now that jean feels like a real character i kinda understand how much spirit would have been attracted to jean's stability#and how jean is this caring family guy and how much spirit would both want that stability for himself while feeling so insecure about#not needing to fight jean all the time or not needing to change himself to be someone jean liked that he would pick fights because#spirit is self destructive like hell and if his life and happiness is going to be destroyed no matter what he might as well do it himself#like god. goddamn.#you know the way everyone was obsessed about ickywars after i first brought it up? that's about i feel about jean and spirit#and i'm the only one who cares :)#me rambling#lu ctb
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knowing communication is vital to a healthy relationship but never knowing how to start a conversation or holding back because you don't want to burden them with your emotions or say/do something that will push them away and just generally being socially inadept is such a fun time! :)
#i was so content being single why did i sign up for this again?#i like this person so much and i'm already so attached#and they've reassured me that they want to be with me also#but things are going so fucking slow and i think right now they have to#because of their mental state and things they are just trying to figure out about themselves and what they want#and i just want to be there for them through it and help them sort things out#but i guess some of the issue is they are mourning a relationship that they wanted but that didn't get to happen#but that apparently after we basically established yeah let's be a thing the other person reached in hopes they could meet each other#which like they told me it's more an issue now of letting the other person down easy and let them know they found a person to be with#but i'm just not coping with this knowledge very well at all#despite the reassurance from them that i'm the one they wanna be with#and i think i'm struggling because i'm probably jealous because they are friends and have been for years#and i don't want to be jealous i just wanna be chill about it#like i'm not going to be the person who makes them feel like they can't maintain their long term friendships#i won't be that person#but it makes me feel insecure like i'm competing against someone i don't even know#and i worry they're going to realize i just fucking suck and decide that to leave me to try something with that person instead#but i don't know how to even start a conversation or convey these feelings to them without fearing it's going to start some bullshit#that i don't want tainting the relationship#even outside of that like#i wanna know so many things about them but i don't even know where to start or if i can just ask them questions#everything scares me relationships are scary#i'm so fucking scared of being hurt again#ugh#personal#sorry i just needed to dump this somewhere because i've been bottling it up for a fucking week now#it did not make me feel better but at least i got the words out
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i wanna post my skip to loafer art but i cant do it knowing ppl are gonna put it on tiktok and pinterest bc itd be like. bringing an invasive species ykwim
#my meds just kicked in so im feeling talkative but truly idk how to explain it#its like. with anything else id be more than happy to introduce it to ppl like monkie kid and mp100. witch hat maybe but its personal to me#but skip to loafer is special to me. and i feel bad for saying this bc other ppl do deserve to watch smth they will enjoy#hell the reason i got into it was bc my friend was kind enough to lend me her copy and i got hooked#its so ironic im saying this esp given how insecure i am abt depicting characters wrong. but i really dont want to look thru the tags#and see them on a 'can i copy your homework' tier list. or ppl getting mad abt why egashira mitsumi and shima cant just be a throuple#its just!! i wont stop you if thats how you like to engage with the show or how you interpret it bc ill just ignore it and leave u alone!!#and theres no objective wrong way of doing it!! and i know that interacting with the work is what forms a community after all!!#but keeping it tight knit is just easier for me bc nobody has to worry abt making each other laugh and we can enjoy it for what it is#fully aware im saying this as someone whos drawn monkie kid art with text post memes and owl house draw the squad templates#but at the same time i just. dont want to explain myself or give ppl reasons why shima and mitsumi are ace coded just bc it 'feels right'#fandom is a communal thing and it feels so hypocritical thinking this. too many conflictng thoughts that idk what to act on#yapping
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