#they literally do not care abt anyone or want to 'help' anyone
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bunnihearted · 8 months ago
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me whenever a therapist/psychiatrist speaks
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twinknote · 20 days ago
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totally normal of me to start crying upon seeing that my uncle bought more apple juice for me. totally not indicative of my familial trauma btw. i’m sure that people cry over juice all the time
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la0hu · 1 month ago
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masha broke a bowl by accident in the kitchen and when i brought her the broom and dustpan and asked her if she was okay, she looked at me, straight-faced, and said, "no, i'm not okay." and then i realized she meant that she still feels emotionally abused by the house somehow, and i felt a flash of anger because i am so sick of her shit, and i rephrased, "are you physically injured?" and she gave me another look and said "i'm physically okay." and then when connie asked from her room "what's going on?" masha replied "nothing new." like fuck off ohhhhhhhh my god
#p#i'm actually sick of making room for people like this#it's not me being kind or understanding. it's me being a doormat and driving myself crazy for not making everyone happy 24/7#would masha feel better if i continually approached her and invited her to things and forgave her every time she acted like this?#yeah she would. and i can imagine the emotional place she's in right now is a terrible one and i empathize#which is why i feel guilty for being too tired to do the above. but also? but ALSO???#in her head she will always be the victim. everything we do she will always interpret in bad faith; choose the most unkind interpretation#it's gabe all over again. they live in an alternate reality from me and from the rest of the house and it is impossible to reconcile the tw#and i get this feeling of anger and a part of me thinks of it as me 'letting myself be a bitch' but it's not actually that#it's literally self-respect. it's me being so burnt out that i don't have the energy to pretend this is somehow my problem#the whole meme of 'aren't you tired of being nice. don't you wanna go apeshit' that's about being inauthentic not abt being nice#sure authentic/inauthentic is a loaded therapy term now but it's just accurate. i should be able to NOT do things if i'm not moved to#i don't feel like talking to her. i don't feel like inviting her to things. i don't feel like giving an apology for an imaginary wrong#she can hate me for the rest of time. she can be miserable for the rest of the year while she stays here. i don't fucking care#she is making herself miserable. it is absolutely 100% on her. in any way that matters it is up to her to fix her own shit#i am so sick of this idea that somehow through the healing power of kindness and friendship everyone can be lifted up#because actually some people refuse to be helped. and it is so hard for me to reconcile this with my worldview#but it's been proven to me over and over again that this is the truth.#i guess it doesn't necessarily apply to material realities but i think it does for emotional ones#but even that division between the material and the social/emotional feels false to me. they're always related#maybe the actual lesson is that you as an individual and sometimes even as a community#have limited resources. and while the world's ills could theoretically be solved with infinite generosity and kindness#you cannot singlehandedly make that happen.#and also if the other party isn't receptive there's only so much you can do.#god i've written like a fucking essay trying to justify to myself why i'm angry at masha bc i want to be validated for it#even though i know by now that i actually don't need to explain myself to anyone -- even to myself
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lavellane · 4 months ago
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ik the implication of the von valancius succession is that our RT is just some random fucking 7th cousin twice removed but i actually think its so funny if leda is theodora's daughter.
#oc: leda#or granddaughter maybe . w the anti-aging shenanigans in this universe i have no idea how old anyone is#except for leda is who is a tiny baby infant 34 year old <3#sorry this is so unhinged upon rereading but#shes a psyker and she was unsactioned until caught when she was abt 21 or so . WAY older than most who survive the sanctioning process#and i was thinking abt HOW she couldve even survived that long and since the inquisition do routine scans#but i guess it makes sense if she was in the same boat as idira . best way to hide is to be on a ship thats constantly moving lol#anyway i think she literally grew up on theodora's voidship lmao. bc if theodora wanted to protect her ace-up-the-sleeve psyker heir#without actually caring abt her OR drawing attention to her. itd be pretty easy to just um send her downstairs lol#i just think it works! she has pretty radical views on technology bordering on heresy already#so expanding on that.. where else better to have fostered that curiosity than on theodora's own ship lmao#and bonding so quick with nomos too.. bc shes always loved the ship and she sees him AS the ship. like a big brother she always wanted lol#i also just think its funny imagining leda getting the call years after leaving the voidship + serving as a sanctioned psyker and being lik#''oh i wonder if that cafe on level IX is still there. the one next to the puppy incinerator and the Death-Gamma-Beta-Murder-XIV machine''#and she checks for sure. she goes down to the lower levels routinely i think. not that she has any friends down there lol theyre all dead <#but she likes to people watch <3 and feel like a human being again for once . not just a psyker or Her Ladyship yknow#but anyway. she absolutely has no clue who her family are which is why she answers the call. finding out she is a von valancius isnt so muc#her seizing a power grab . more just her wanting to find people to help ... navigate her way out of the dark i guess.#will expand on That later when i have brain cells. to my audience of like 2 people who care <3 JKFDGJK
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zoekrystall · 9 months ago
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Saw certain tweets and here once again a reminder which a twt mutual luckily wrote shorter than I could (plus public so I can rb bc no way I do that myself on that site)
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Also
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And if you want smth I wrote myself which is longer and not just abt that here you go
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#a wild lux appears#I think they're one mutual who is fine w being screenshotted ik some don't want that#I wrote that bsky thing while waiting for food. Reg the fellow person I talk abt don't bash ppl that already spoke up and stop for a bit#To rb more later. Or ppl that still go to work bc they can't afford not to bc the thing by these actions is community isn't there as net#Or like anyone that shows they care and didn't do anything harmful and just take recharge time or so#Educate willing(!) ppl nicely and don't bash them or send a internet mob to them etc#The ones posting they still go to/buy boycott stuff yeah they're awful but what does bashing them bring at the end of the day#Don't support those ppl yeah but them posting that shows how much they care for it. They prob just want cloud which you give them.#Pressure ppl in power in a way they can't ignore focus on that not no name individuals#If ppl you know talk in private and if they don't want to change literally just cut them out of your life if possible#Online just block. Don't argue w people that just want to stir smth up etc etc#Also I don't think it's too productive to be mad when a standard user anywhere doesn't share stuff. Like yeah give them info abt that but#some either just do smth offline (in that case maybe tell them in this case just sharing online is also helpful) or are mentally too done#and focus all energy to survive (which is intended by the ppl in power. make ppl so done they only have energy to survive themselves so they#don't have energy to speak up abt problems in the world). Bashing famous ppl is completely different bc backlash actually brings smth there.#More ppl could do more if strike organizations would include community care so more actually could not go to work/shopping#Also reg protests so they should know do you know how many don't watch news anymore (I don't watch tv since many years)#I'm sure some also just can't esp younger ppl if they're parents monitor their socials and are zionists#Ofc speak up. I'm just here to say there are explanations. If they read things and still don't care unfollow/block/mute/idc or if you know#Them talk and explain how if is important they speak up#This has been going on for a good while now idk how many still don't know I am mostly pointing that out for new or not as much shared things#Tho I'm sure many don't know bc the standard response is the gov knows what he does and they do propaganda#They think surely the gov takes care of that. If they shut down convos reg that then that is dangerous denialism and living in escapism n#All. Not if the ppl who follow this need a break w fiction or so. I am sure the ppl you try to reach w bashing already muted/blocked all#accs and words associated w that#Anyways I gotta shower now. Disclaimer my personal opinion be an asshole and it's block on sight yada yada.#I just woke up I'm hungry I need to shower but that is also when I decide to share my pieces so
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binders-and-beanies · 2 years ago
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If u tell a trans disabled person to call the cops or tell someone else to call the cops abt them u do not care abt that person’s safety
#or any marginalized group but this is in reference to me#thinking abt when a customer pulled a gun on me and i told my bf at the time abt it and rather than ‘omg are u ok’#his immediate response was to get upset w me for not calling the cops after the guy had already left#as if i could do so while he was there either like obviously he had a fucking GUN what was i supposed to do#cops would have done nothing IF I WAS LUCKY + i could have gotten in trouble at work#told my best friend at the time abt it and how my bf had gotten mad and my ‘friend’ was like actually he’s right and ur a horrible person#like it was part of what ended our friendship#neither of them acknowledged or cared that I’d just been thru smth scary. just immediate rage w no apology afterwards#not even a ‘I get that that was probably scary’ like hello?? instead of being relieved I’m safe ur gonna use it for ur cop agenda??#and then say acab online for clout??#also thinking abt when another ex for some fucking reason told her ex that i was having a depressive episode and that she was like stressed#and her ex (who has never met me) was like ‘your bf is abusive and if u don’t call the cops on him I will’#literally bc i had told her that like i was having a hard time and was going to seek help#anyways if ur like ready to jump at an opportunity to Insist on sending cops after a multiply marginalized person#then u cannot use our rights movements or anti cop sentiments to like try to get pussy#and u don’t get to claim it’s for our safety if we’re telling u explicitly cops make us feel unsafe. if the individual wants to then whatev#but if it’s a situation that affects me and not you then my consent matters and it’s a hard no#fucking anyone with education in these areas understands this! i told my psychiatrist abt these instances n why i feel unsafe w cops#and she was like ‘thank u for telling me this so that if there were ever an emergency situation involving you i would know to not do that’#WHAT A CONCEPT#now im scared to tell ppl in my life abt serious things bc i think they’ll say call the cops n then scream at me if I say no#and if I tell them these stories and they’re like ‘omg that’s awful’ LIKE A NORMAL PERSON then im like omg this person is safe <3 LOW BAR#mine#txt#gun tw#personal
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ozlices · 1 year ago
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really fucking sucks that it does not matter how openly we cry about how fucked up we are after everything this year has put us through, we are just. ignored. like. we're very open about having abandonment issues & a burden complex, but nobody gives a fuck abt ensuring that isn't. you know. constantly fueled in the aftermath of all the shit this year put us through.
we haven't suffered in silence. quite the opposite. but we're literally just. ignored. & left to rot. no matter how transparent we are abt how badly we're doing. & it sucks. like it's getting to a point where we're genuinely starting to get apathetic towards our friends & we don't fucking care to fight it off anymore.
if my friends were posting the kinda shit we do during our meltdowns, id be rushing to call them as soon as i could. maybe im just different. maybe im just a dumbass for caring so goddamn much! cause jfc it clearly isn't mutual no matter what!
how am i supposed to fight off my persecutor telling me nobody fucking loves me bc i don't deserve it when i can beg for somebody to lend their hand to me, & all i get is silence.
we haven't been checked up on. anyone we used to talk to daily has just decided we're too depressing or whatever to be around, i guess. like. idk what anyone wants from us anymore. i really fucking don't. all we want is to have somebody give a shit abt us & fucking MEAN it. actually be there for us. actually take care of us the same way we take care of everybody else.
but nah nah instead we're just. having our complexes fueled. our persecutor's ammo refilled, meanwhile we're left with nothing. absolutely fucking nothing.
the best relationship of our lives couldn't even last longer than a month & no matter what, we can't fight being made to feel like we just weren't worth keeping around.
we've never escaped being "too depressed to handle" as our token in a friend group, but like. idk. maybe if we weren't made to constantly feel so fucking alone & like nobody genuinely gives a shit abt us, we'd be able to At Least cope a bit better.
idek what to do or say anymore. like our persecutor gets on our ass for saying "nobody cares" like "oh well you're just being manipulative & fishing." bitch i GENUINELY fucking feel like nobody fucking cares about me & not a single goddamn person has tried to significantly fight that notion to any genuine degree.
it'll be fought with filler words in the moment, but again. nobody checks on us. nobody just randomly tells us they love us and care about us. nobody does the little things we've always done for our loved ones we know are going through rough times. even if we directly tell people it helps. so, what the fuck else am i sposed to say or think.
im tired of feeling like this. im tired of being lonely, and unloved, and uncared for, and like it's all fucking pointless. im tired.
i just feel like we're just forgotten about until we're needed. but when we are the ones who need someone else to help us? well, we can just fucking rot, then. i guess. we're just an annoying burden who's too depressing to be around. not worth any genuine effort. and we cannot keep fighting that notion when nobody gives a shit to stand with us against it.
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zincbot · 2 years ago
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misfits and magic has me smiling like you wouldn't believe. i'm enjoying myself so so so much
#dimension 20#helps that i'm currently DEEP back in my latent dnd mode#and i know they're playing kids on bikes the system doesn't matter i just am completely and totally obsessed with ttrpgs#and dnd 5e is the only system i fully know#but no i'm like. kicking my legs and squealing. i'm so happy. i love this so so much#okay like. there's special interests. which take up every like. free moment of my brain. and then there's whatever happens to me#whenever i'm obsessed with dnd#where my like? emotions? become suddenly and powerfully tied to like. what's literally a game#and like the thought of being unable to play it or other people not caring about it as much as me irrationally makes me way too upset#and i'm not even lying like. okay every activity i've ever done in my life that's fun? i can only do for some amount of time before i need#a break. cause i get bored. i like activity cycling basically.#i could play dnd forever. if i didn't have physical needs like bodily pain from using a phone or like. need for food and drink.#i would play dnd forever. non-stop. it's my number 1 favourite thing in the whole world forever.#i've never met anyone who likes it as much as me.#i enjoy dimension 20 but i'm also. burning with jealousy. probably the strongest jealousy i've ever felt in my life#people who get to play dnd for a job. make me want to tear something up with my teeth#i would trade every organ in my body for that#sorry for being deranged in the tags#and i like dming fine#(as the person who is the most passionate in any group abt the game dming is something i've done a half-decent amnt)#but being a player is my ideal#dnd
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nomairuins · 24 days ago
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whining hours . sry
#like idk i try to like. imagine a future where i have like. friends. you know. Bare mimimum i have People i talk to. who arent lamp. and i#just cant imagine it happening again#like. i genuinely feel like i cant connect to ppl anymore and idk how id like. i dont see a way for me to do that ever again since i cant g#to school and like. sny job im able to get wouldnt be the kind where i like. meet people or make friends. and last year when i eent out wit#the express purpose of Making friends i literally couldnt. speak to anyone. like i just sat alone with my headphones on until it was time t#go home ... i dont know how to like. initiate casual conversation#+ like. i worry i get way too invested in any potential friendships bc i want so badly to be Normal and have friends and then i freak out#rly badly over something trivial. and thats entirely my fault like I need to work on not letting my freakouts effect the person im freaking#out abt. yk. like its my stupid brain that just gets rly rly overly defensive and weird abt everything its not like. I need to work on that#and thats another reason i dont knowif ill ever be able to make friends again is bc i genuinely dont trust myself not to get overly attache#way too quickly and then explode or something. idk#i also think maybe im just not meant to have actual lasting relationships with anybody ever. yk. like maybe im not meant to ever have roots#and maybe i just wont ever get to have stability and my life will always be entirely transient. Perhaps thats for the best so that i dont#have t like. lose ppl. and ppl dont have to deal with me#+ if i make bad decisions there r less ppl to care abt it. you know. which is a plus. idk#theres like. some parts of me r like desperate for friends and for love and to just . feel like i exist and Talk to people and like. have#stability. and then the rest r like No this is good bc we cant hurt as many ppl like this and also we dont deserve any of that so this is#for the best. and i just have to sit here like ok ! bc if i seek out friendships that part shuts it all down and if i dont the other part#makes me feel miserable and lonely. like damn i am destined for misery. but whatever. it doesnt rly matter DHRNFJFN im just being whiny#it just feels like i need like. ok this is my abdicating responsibility and is the reason i dont have friends disclaimer. i know that. very#aware. but i like. i need somebody to be the one to reach out to Me bc i like. i cant reach out to ppl like. i cant Try to initiate#conversations . but i think if there was a person who like. initiated conversations w me and started a friendship with me i like. i think#itd help me get used to Having a friend again and then id like. id be better at maintaining it and eventually id be able to pick up th#weight. but Obviously nobody wants to like. put in all that effort for somebody whos incapable of returning the favor possibly ever. yk#i need to just bite the bullet and humiliate myself and reach out even if its embarassing and even if it makes me have to throw up#<- happened one time when i tried to talk to someone new. which is so. oh my god. there r ppl who have avtual fucking issues and then im#just like boohoo i tried to think abt a conversation starter and got so anxious i fucking threw up. GOD. i hateit i hate it i hate it. but#wtvr. ik i cant actually expect that from anybody basically like. ik its a stupid wish. idk. i just wish i had somebody who could help me#like. remember how to mask and how to socialize Like a real person. and wouldnt mind that im like. weird right now. and would be willing to#talk to me until i got normal and stuff. wtvr. idk ... 10000 lashings
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dutybcrne · 3 months ago
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Okay Sc.arveh has been replaced in my mind as resident silly crack crossover ship potential of clashing personalities.
Ly.cae is now my new best friend
#//Jkjk#//Nothing could match the disaster that is Sca.rveh. Bc ERRBODY comin outta that ship worse & that is delightful to me#//But there is certain je ne sais quoi abt Kind w a Bad Past Housekeeper Wolfman & Mr. 'Anti-hero with attitude problem' Cavalry Captain#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//For starters; that wolfman could outcharm Kae I'm afraid jdkngd#//And do so so naturally; he'd make Kae IMPLODE#//Mans could just be being courteous as per regulation; and Kae'd STILL find himself feeling los dokis in spite himself#//Esp with his combat style and how perfectly composed he seems; that rich voice and impeccable presentation#//Would make Kae a lil but obsessed as a result; wanting to see if he could fuck up Lyc's rhythm & MAKE him lose composure#//Kae would SWOON whether successful or not#//Tho Ly prolly wouldn't find it all amusing esp IF he's successful kjhbfgfgh#//The one thing that would throw Kae SO fucken hard would be Ly.caon genuinely coming to see him as someone to care for/dote on#//Like in those interactions with pr0xy; like the Moonwatching bit for instance sjdbhfkdrg#//Even if it was meant out of duty; Kae would still balk SO hard to be treated so sweetly#//But he'd also prolly trust Lyc to be serious abt/with any genuine feels far faster than anyone else BC of how sincere he is#//I do love the idea of Lyc getting to see more of Kae's noble side; past the facade he gives everyone else. Prolly would be the only perso#to really get Kae to accept some of the credit for the nice things he does/the efforts he puts in for others; even if just between them two#//Not to mention Lyc will find Kae's genuine willing to accept any and every part of him without qualm. ESP the unpleasantness#//Bc in a way; it would deffo comfort Kae far more to see shit like his more feral sides; even if bared at him#//That; and Kae can never resist a good dogboy type kjdbfgfdg#//Literally in this case as it may be lololol#//The absurd amount of doting and care kae would put into helping him maintain his fur silky soft & cooing & praising him for a good job#//And then just#//IMPLODE if Ly offered smth similar back khjdbgfkhg#//Fr tho; bet his claws would feel SO nice gently brushing along your scalp while he combs your hair- >.<
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mobgoblin · 6 months ago
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sorry i’m about to vague over something silly but
in terms of how my neuroses translate to my online experience—i never block or even unfollow people really. i’ve been on this site for over a decade and have only unfollowed one account after an odd exchange. so when i first saw this person appear in the dungeon meshi tag sharing their…opinions presented as Character Analysis Law i was like “oh geez”
but sure let’s reduce Marcille to Horny Super Criminal who only cares about her big titty gf and her PhD in dark magic and explosions, why not.
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guinevereslancelot · 8 months ago
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is there any worse feeling than when you feel like someone is mad at you bc they literally are mad at you
#i came into the living room and my dad was yelling abt how he basically hates everyone in the whole family#bc nobody got around to reqding the latest chapter of his book yet#but he was really upset and mad#i get being hurt by that but it literally is not a personal rejection people are just busy idk#he didn't let on he was upset at all until he completely flipped out#now he doesn't want anyone to read it anymore#he's really hurt tho bc we all always read my mom's stuff#and my brother and i talk abt what we're writing together all the time#and i get there's a special kind of hoy sharing your writing with someone but only when they're really interested and engaged#unfortunately the two people most likely to care abt hia book are my two oldest brothers and they dont live w us#so they cant really give him that feedback#he did send hia chapters to them but they arent around to talk abt it and havent responded yet#basically nobody actually cares abt his book#he's been talking abt writing one for like ten years or more and only started in the past few months#its a zombie book and full of his really weird and controversial political and religious takes tho sp its a stressful read#i dont really agree w him on certain issues and we're ok abt it usually but it makes reading it more stressful#anyway#he's really upset tho#and he can only express unpleasant emotions through anger so i shut down and cant interact#and he specifically said he doesnt want people do do the thing he's so hurt that we didnt do#so there's no real way to set things right to alleviate my anxiety#he's a very difficult person to love with sometimes but he's really generous and has done a lot to help me#so i can live my dream and start a business and he's not really pressuring me abt my job seaech and rent and stuff#so it does make me feel guilty that i basically didn't care abt his book#it wouldnt be as bad if literally everyone in the family hadn't also done that#when he does to much for everyone#he's mad at everyone but im the only one having a panic attack and im the only one he didn't yell at#he's not handling his emotions well but neither do i so we usually just dont acknowledge things like this until everyone is over it#but i hate that i literally need conflict to be resolved immediately or i go insane
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dragontatoes · 5 months ago
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Reading comprehension questions:
What does "zionist" mean? Think about how the previous commenter, mythica, is using it in context of OP, then quickly look it up via your choice of search engine. Do you notice any similarities or differences?
Take up mythica's call to type "gaza" into the search on their blog. Do you notice a difference from zionism (as defined in your search by prompt #1) and the contents of these posts?
What call to action is mythica implying by saying "be critical with all these 'vote blue no matter who' posts"?
Which candidate do they imply is "literally committing genocide"? Refer to the graphic above. What is the difference between the candidate's policies on Israel and Palestine? Is it true that only one candidate supports the genocide in Palestine?
Who benefits or loses from Trump's policies, as per the graphic, and who benefits or loses from Biden's policies, as per the graphic?
Drawing from the conclusions of prompt #5, when they write, "This person is only concerned with how THEY are potentially to be affected by this election", what do you think mythica claims OP will experience based on the election?
In the phrases, "them and people like them" and, "the guy that is slightly less likely to take THEIR rights away"? What group/s are referred to as "they"?
Who are some groups that OP mentioned, and refer to in the graphic, that are likely to lose rights with a Trump win? Does this include groups that mythica does not acknowledge?
Check the timestamps on mythica's screenshots. How much time do you think they spent looking at OP's blog for these? Why do you think that mythica did this?
Look.
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I have made you a chart. A very simple chart.
People say "You have to draw the line somewhere, and Biden has crossed it-" and my response is "Trump has crossed way more lines than Biden".
These categories are based off of actual policy enacted by both of these men while they were in office.
If the ONLY LINE YOU CARE ABOUT is line 12, you have an incredible amount of privilege, AND YOU DO NOT CARE ABOUT PALESTINIANS. You obviously have nothing to fear from a Trump presidency, and you do not give a fuck if a ceasefire actually occurs. You are obviously fine if your queer, disabled, and marginalized loved ones are hurt. You clearly don't care about the status of American democracy, which Trump has openly stated he plans to destroy on day 1 he is in office.
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l-cereta · 11 months ago
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Like everything is pissing me off rn
#it’s like my body recognized the unspeakable amt of random sadness didn’t fix anything so now she has to make me hate literally everything#the just like backseat background constant dysphoria over not having any e in my body is like. sickening it makes me feel awful#and I’m starting to really properly run up against the cost of hrt for the first time which is SUPER awesome too#and ofc there’s stress over this STUPID!! FUCKING!! ACTING PROJECT!!!!!#and that makes me want to kill someone#but there’s also stress about like everything else. and world situation isn’t doing anything#and also everyone around me makes me angry#and also everyone makes me angry.#like if anyone’s reading this genuinely go fuck urself u have no ability to help me and you’re really!! really stupid for thinking you have#ANY#idea what it feels like for me rn. and let’s be real you don’t have a solution either so what’s the point#i really really reeeaaaaalllyyyyyyyyy just want to rip someone’s throat out if I can be real#god i need to get any kind of sleep at all#EVERYTHING SUCKS. GENUINELY EVERYTHING SUCKS. ITS BAD!!!! ITS BAD!!!!!!!!!#i like actually want to cry#& every time i start thinking abt it contextually like actually I don’t have it so bad and all of these feelings are transient or whatever#i want to rip someone’s throat out even more#& ofc that anger also turns inwards but for the most part I can just call that as stupid and move on#but like: why the fuck am i treating a Tumblr blog where none of the readers actually care abt me as if it were a fucking confessional#i don’t even want to think abt sleeping bc i know thatll suck too I’ll have some horrible stress dream#god I’m gonna start crying again actually yall i fucking hate emotions can I be real
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be-good-to-bugs · 1 year ago
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i will be in hell world forever and that is ok i guess
#the bin#i am resigned to my fate unfortunately#maybe its easier to believe itll be like this forever. idk.#ive been so desolate for so long and i just cant get myself out of it at this point. and there is absolutely nobody to help me#people will say when youve reached a low point like that how important it is to reach out to the people around you who care about you for#help but who is there for me to reach out to? my sister? ive tried and it didnt matter and i dont want her help anymore#honestly. theres people caring about your concept because they know you and youre family and then theres actually caring about YOU#and there isnt anybody who cames about ME they just acre about the concept of me. not even the version of me they have in ybeir head#its just routine to 'care' about me. lik3 you would anybody. but its very surface level. doesnt go beyond wishing i SEEM ok#and not wanting particular harm to come to me. but they dont care about ME. the oerson i am. i guess it makes sense cause im not close#with literally anybody. i was never even actually close to my sister. i just felt pressured to tell her private stuff about me#every time after it felt coerced tho. like i felt tricked into doing it or forced to because shes so weird about everything#ugh. her being so weird has made it so much harder to socialize with anyone else#i dont even want to ask her for transportation to places to socialize because she makes me so uncomfortable#and the only other people i have to talk to are family members who i cant talk to about it becasue shes their family too#:( ive hit a new low somehow! yay...#ugh. i dont even have online friends to talk to. i wish i did but i could never. im not interesting to talk to online at all#just like. objectively. my anxiety makes my type like the most boring person ever online and ut sucks#maybe i could try again if i used voice chat but idk. then id have to meet people. im tired of being so lonely though :(#i wanna just play minecraft or smth with some people and forget abt how sad i am for once because i havent been able to for years
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zwei-rhunen · 1 year ago
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two adventures
d1. >in hullbreaker isle as monk
>me staring at the mobs/my hotbar bc it lit up and i’m now trying to line up the mobs for a sick Howling Fist move
> look up aaaand the tank is dead
me: aaaa?? aoeaoeaoe! before th-
>aaaand the other dps is dead
>”oh shit maybe i can still salvage this and run in circles until the tank -” and dead
> me softly @ the screen watching the poor surviving newbie healer get swarmed: “:O run, RUNN-” and dead. LMFAO
2. > in roulette as AST, not a healer main but I’m trying my best /crying cat face with thumbs-up/
>honestly i feel fairly confident!
> ya know.
>as long as i dont get something like-
> mfw get Aurum Vale
>ah fuckkkkk.jpg
we wipe twice (once at the trash mobs, once at the first boss bc morbol bullshit) before i give up on trying to dps in the beginning lmfao
i was able to get into the rhythm of dealing out cards, over-healing everyone and applying Gravity onto crowds after we got past that first boss tho so i think i came out pretty good despite the rough beginning T-T
#mmmm i like playing AST in specific conditions but i think its bc im not really a healer main material. not ready to juggle everyone#on my screen like a healer does. yet. LOL#zwei writes#bt healer and tank i think i like tank? literally the only thing i dont like abt tank is that ur the defacto leader and everyone follows u#which is bad for me bc i do NOT know 75% of these dungeon maps lmao#if im tank and u know where we're going then by all means run ahead of me. im actually the minority that prefers you do that actually LMAO#just give mobs to me so you dont die that's all i ask for#i pull i tank. u pull i tank. i really like that blurb that other player had bc thats just idk. that makes sense??#like who cares who pulls as long as it ends up next to the tank lol???#its called teamwork! lets get 'er done and kill the mobs :D!!!#like you're the tank. not the puller. its in the job title so idk why ppl get mad abt it lmao#who cares how the mobs get to the tank as long as THEY GET to the tank ykwim#and like on the other side of the coin. if anyone tries pulling and dies otw to the tank then we are all free to point and laugh at them lol#but if they do it successfully without dying then thats great lets keep it movin#why feel frustrated at making ur job easier like i dont get it#unless the tank is super new or for some reason isnt able to handle many mobs at a time bc of the mechanics or whatever#but usually i hear abt this during trash mob pulls where i believe it wouldnt matter (unless healer is new too ofc) and its like...#bro just accept the help its okay lol ur still the leader dw#no one is challenging u or tryna out-star u. we all just want to get thru the dungeon or whatever its all good#like if the wannabe tank succeeds. tank shut up! and if the wannabe fails. the wannabe better shut up and not complain if they die since.#yknow. u put urself in that situation in the first place lmao why u complaining abt dying tryna do part of the tank thing#just look at the extra mobs that u didnt pull as a GIFT! yay! more to add to the party for tankin'! awesome#zwei pug fun
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