#they lied to me about the situation and made excuses for themself

[simprocklies]

Simprock lies.

I've been watching this situation and I can't just sit by and do nothing anymore. I'm still too afraid to out myself because the recent stuff is really scary and shows the kind of things these people will do to you if you disagree with them. This is seriously scary psychotic behavior and I can't not say anything anymore. These people need to be stopped. Please don't support them.

These people posted a 470 page document calling someone out and it's extremely alarming. This document is way too long and organized to have been something they made in response to someone asking for evidence, which happened only a few days ago. It really feels like something they've had for a long time and have been planning to do. It also includes a lot of information from private places that these people aren't in, which means that they've been planting spies for a long time and stalking their victim for a long time to get all of their "evidence".

The person Simprock is going after isn't the only person they've hurt. In October, they kicked myself and around 100 other people who they decided weren't good enough. They could've made a new server for themselves, but they didn't care how the rest of us felt and gave some dumb excuse about how they couldn't delete the server because of NDA reasons. What NDA? They have a rule about never inviting Pathea staff and there wasn't even a valid official NDA for Sandrock. I'm sharing someone else's screenshot about the thing they put out explaining why they did it because it was already shared and I don't want to out myself.

This caused a lot of people to leave the entire fandom and myself and a lot of others really distrusted communities after this.

I've seen firsthand these people's actions. The same person who posted that thing also joined a server that the person they and their friends are harassing just to spy on them and to find ways to twist up their words. They accidentally slipped up once.

Yesterday, this new guy on what looks to be a sock puppet account suddenly appears in the server like literally before the Simprock people posted their 470 page document and only participated by supporting the harassers and twisting the situation.

These people have been harassing Snowy on all kinds of places, here's something from an official Pathea mod saying so.

Here's these people telling others not to participate in a zine that Snowy is involved in.

You can see that one of the Simprock people, the one pretending to be innocent and asking to be left alone, liking this post.

These are things I thought of now, there's a lot more but I'm not like these psychos who plan long extended things. I'm also afraid of talking about my own experiences because I don't want them to come after me like they're doing with Snowy. Please don't fall for these people's lies.

They're continuing a harassment situation going and as far as I can see, Snowy only talks about it in private places and only because the Simprock people won't stop trying to chase them out of the fandom, but apparently this isn't enough and they won't stop until they've chased them out of the fandom.

I'm really scared about what these people would do to me and my friends. My friends told me not to say anything but I can't because I totally see this totally happening to me and others and these people need to be stopped. A while ago another artist attempted to unalive themself because of fandom harassment and it's very possible that a lot of the same people behind that are behind this too. Simprock people are psychotic and dangerous. Please be careful.

Please think about how they got the information they posted and that a lot of it is probably faked.

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

searching up my username is super fun bc it’s like omg my friends and mutuals who have thought about me and tagged me or chatted with me over the years. crying real tears about it. love y’all. and then i see posts from the one person who i was so incredibly close with for two years in highschool before shit imploded (i was not involved but i was caught in the middle) and then nothing was ever the same. passage of time etc etc but also oughhhhghghgh

[taemcains]

do you think requiem's update was weak?

in general, now that there only final episode left, what are your thoughts on season 2?

what a mess.

not one thing i would've predicted about s2 months back is now true, nor does it even feel like the same story. everything i loved about hsr and what made it distinct and unique — the snowy landscape, a desolate small town crumbling under its own history and sins, how the setting perfectly reflected lane's insides, the mystery of the lis, not knowing who we could trust, if we could trust lane herself, her trying to understand and come to terms with the humanity ripped from her — all of it sacrificed for... what?

nothing is eerie, and with how the most horrific events happen so casually and are brushed over in seconds — the shredder, kira's death — the shock value is starting to wear off, and what's left underneath does not hold up. what i'm confused about is why and how it feels like she's both rushing through and at the same time it's snail paced.

i think she has a few major plot points in mind, and is filling the gaps between them with whatever (which is what the entirety of season two has been) which is fine but 1. she could've spread the events out over a longer timeline 2. she could've used this time to deepen our understanding of lane's psyche and her relationships with the lis instead of fitting in every apocalypse fantasy she can conceive of.

everything is stagnant. lane, the plot. i can't even call the lis stagnant because when have they ever felt vivid? they have a defining trauma and she ran with it — dmitry and pavel, greg and emma, and since anna doesn't have any we have a 'i'm a girl and i like girls?!' situation at their grown age in an apocalypse. she's following the same format as s1 for s2, but in s1 it worked as the equal parts allure and wariness made sense for two people born/made closed off and suspicious yet yearning for connection. but in s2, a time to deepen and split open the past, motivations, to provide a solid ground for the basis of their affection, they're staying afloat on physical attraction and half-assed omg their trauma 🙁

a main character like lane deserves character arcs to be treated with as much importance as plot progression. the mercy/no mercy stat feels like a convenient way to wash her hands off actually showing how lane gets to that point. it's unnatural, and it leaves me frustrated with lane who is still the same girl we saw in s1e1.

what has changed in two seasons, both plot and character wise? if s1 was utilized to set the framework for the rest of the story, such as by giving us glimpses of her childhood, then s2 should've delved into the emotional aspect of it. while the impact of it on her views and relationships is shown, nothing ever seems to challenge it. events pass by without a reverberation in her soul; all her inner monologues are some vague opinions she believes as fact about humanity and its nature and nothing, not the plot, not the lis, ever seem to make her question it. i'd thought the whole point of writing a character like her in a setting with high-risk, deadly, tense situations is to force her out of the shell she confines herself to, and make her look at her own light as well as darkness. what is the point if she's never forced to confront them?

so of course the romance routes are lacking in truth and depth. cain has the excuse of subtext and parallels and soulmateism, but what about the rest? i don't know too much about dmitry, but greg's route is both painful and baffling. on what basis does he dream of domestic bliss when he knows as much about her as any random member of the squad? at the end of s2 (2/3rd into the book!) their romance is still based off 'you're a fantasy, you're my reality.' while cute, is that all she can think of for them? some vague unexplained attraction and lane liking to be desired? greg has nice shoulders and a sister, then what?

she could've shown them seeing an aspect of themself in her (where i assumed dmitry's route was heading), or sympathise with her, but how are they falling for her without knowing her depths? based off an inexplicable attraction alone. more than halfway through. it's so unbalanced. does she even like them? does she even know them? (yan 😴) does it make sense for a mistrustful character like lane to fall for some rando? with cain, she shows affection in her own way but greg's scenes are just pitiful.

no need to speak of anna. i'd argue someone shouldn't be telling you to not be homophobic, but let's set that aside for now and look at writers who have at the very least heeded the fandom's criticism and concerns and took a step towards providing better representation. i don't care what vision she has (which isn't even counting how anna hasn't been given a consistent personality – why would she pull away in disgust when she made it abundantly clear she's into women in s1?) if the people you're attempting to represent tell you it's problematic and uncomfortable, you listen. it reeks of arrogance on her part.

the -2 female characters in this book get such... strange treatment. anna appears to plot dump about the infection, or be lane's walking wardrobe. kira... not to be the friend that's too woke but every single man in the squad sustaining some kind of injury and bouncing back but kira had to be explicitly sobbing and sniveling to lane for a chance to live, and still die, after that whole 'i'm going to move on' epiphany? nick and noah who were kidnapped and held by the cultists for forever, lestor who got eyeballed by an infected, but it was kira who had to die by falling into a pit?

the only defense i hear anymore is of the plot and it's unique, twisted charm and. well! we haven't made headway in an entire season, and keep getting dragged off into useless side plots. as a friend @cainlane 🤍 aptly put it,

i was talking to a mutual today ab how funny the plot looks when the entirety of s2 follows the formula of squad finds out something and goes there -> cult is (and by what means i have no idea) already there -> they fight -> cult goes away (once again by what means idk)

the foreshadowing is ridiculously vague, all required information is somehow conveniently preserved in documents, and it's getting exhausting to read it all over again every update, when we all know how the scintillating potential of s1 could've carried over into s2.

i tried very hard to think of a positive, something that has improved from s1 and nothing comes to mind. oh well. i'm still going to be (tentatively) seated for the rest of the book but know it's with a heavy heart.

also the diamond choices are ridiculously expensive for nothing ❤️ suck my dick

[dumplingsjinson]

Honestly, I really feel for you dealing w/ cat guy. My first relationship was also in my 20's. 21-23; I'm 28 now and if I had to give some advice that I wish I learned sooner. It would be that

"The people who deserve the benefit of the doubt, rarely fucking need it."

When I think back on that relationship and even old friendships, the only reason they sustained themselves as long as they did was BECAUSE I was constantly giving the benefit of the doubt and rationalizing their behavior probably more than they did. It wasn't until I was 25+ did I start to take those rose-colored glasses off and realize, we are adults here. You are conscious of your behavior, ESP when you have someone like you and myself, who gain the courage to communicate how their behavior is effecting us.

If they are not changing their behavior after said communication, there's your answer. You're not compatible, they are not mature enough to maintain the type of relationships you want to have in your life and that's fine.

My first partner and I had good communication, we did care for each other a lot, and tried to work on things as much as we could, but ultimately. We were growing at different paces and that's okay. It hurt, but it was for the best. 3 years in and we were still having the same conversations. I get wanting to work on things, so I stayed and was patient like you are doing now. kudos!

He began doing that thing, that I think someone else mentioned, where, they pretty much create a hostile environment within the relationship (coldness, ignoring, doing things they know you don't like, passively involved with dating/ bounding activities, entertaining other connections) until you address their behavior and eventually you break up with them. They put the weight and pressure on you to pull the plug b/c they are too passive, cowardly honestly, to do it themselves. I think that hurt the most b/c it doesn't matter how open and understanding you are. How patient you've been and encouraging.

A person who lies to themself, (makes excuses for themselves) will lie to you too. A person who doesn't want to face their demons will sabotage a relationship with a person like you, who will face them with uncomfortable conversations.

Now as I am older, vagueness and uncertainty is a red flag. Even if you are uncertain, that is something you can communicate. I date to marry and I don't go on dating apps so I can't give advice there. Although, imo the moment you became official, accounts should have been deactivated/deleted.

I also realized as "traditional" or "cliche" as it may seem. I want to be asked to be you gf. This generation started this thing where we play a relationship until one day were like, "Are we a couple?" and the other is like "Yeah. Isn't it obvious?" (my 1st was like this as well) NO! lmao Where was the declaration to be exclusive?? That is key!

I want ppl who are as considerate of me as I am of them and I am sure you are like this as well. Someone who will shoot me a text saying "hey, I'm going to be swamped with X-Y &Z this coming week so I won't be on my phone as much," or "Thinking of you," Even if that's the only text I get for a couple of days.

It was only in situations where I was going a week or two with nothing that made me get "clingy". I learned that the "anxiety" and overthinking was one, a defense mechanism, and two, indicated to me that there was some need not being met.

I applaud you for acknowledging your faults, but ppl who are the "problem" rarely even do that, so I am sure you're not over thinking. lol

Your intuition should not be ignored. "How a relationship begins, is ultimately exactly how it will end"

It's also fine to not do long distance. It doesn't work for some people and that's okay too <3

First of all, thank you for this, and for sharing your experience. 

Honestly, he did change his behaviour after the first time I told him about my overthinking and my anxiety, but he fell back on old habits recently, which is why I had to address the issue again. I do understand how draining work can be for him, and I’ve had bouts where I’ve done the same thing of not texting someone or just completely ignoring people (have done the same to him too, ngl) because I was too mentally drained to even want to converse with someone or reply to someone. Like, you’ll see me active, but I only have the mental capacity to mindlessly scroll and like things but not enough capacity to reply to you. 

I choose to believe he can sustain this behaviour, but obviously if I have to keep reminding him in the future then I do realise things aren’t going to work out. And I want to believe if he really doesn’t see things working out, he’s going to fucking tell me instead of not doing shit about it and finding someone else behind my back.

Perhaps he is conscious of his behaviour — we all are, let’s be honest, but the extent may vary — but I also think he’s genuinely someone who struts around, no thoughts head empty and I mean this in the least offensive way possible. And I also think being conscious of one’s behaviour doesn’t mean you’re conscious of how your behaviour could hurt someone, if that makes sense? And sometimes it takes a bit of a nudge for you to realise you’re fucking it up for someone else. Because I’ve been that person who’s been conscious of their behaviour, yet doesn’t realise the amount of hurt she’s caused with that behaviour until it’s been directly slapped in her face. It’s still something I’m trying to get better at, and I’ve failed many a times, and still fail at at times.

And I think this distance thing has been a real struggle for him, as it is for me because as I’ve said before, I did think of breaking up during the whole thing. I did think maybe things wouldn’t work out and I should just call it quits. I did think maybe I should just find someone else instead, instead of staying and seeing if things could work out. I did think of upping and leaving and breaking his heart just to save my own. Many times. Even recently, few days before the whole Hinge thing. I’m selfish, in a way because I want to save myself from the hurt and I’ve seriously contemplated on that.

…Do you see why I need therapy? 

Anyway, it doesn’t excuse what he did because it’s wrong that he did that and I think he realises it, but I think it’s a mere plausible explanation of why he did that wishy washy slippy sloppy shit, especially considering how he broke up with his last ex because of long distance. 

I do believe he’s going to do better (or at least I want to believe he will do better) because from the amount of time I’ve known him, I don’t think he’s going to be someone who would, as you’ve said,  “create a hostile environment within the relationship.” I know it’s going to hurt like shit if it doesn’t work out even after I’ve been patient with him but I’m willing to try, and I’m willing to not give up for now. I choose to believe he can change and that he will stick to actually being more transparent with me instead of doing wishy washy shit, and if I can drag his ass out of that shell of his then I’m going to fucking do it. Maybe I’m just a stubborn piece of shit who’s willing to get herself hurt in the process.

As they say, DO IT FOR THE PLOT (where it perhaps may end up with me having to heal in the trenches AHAHA, but let’s hope that’s not going to be the case). 

Yeah, the accounts thing is also something I probably should have discussed with him the moment we became official, or even when we first became exclusive; would have avoided a lot of grief that’s happening right now LOL, so I do think I’m also at fault I didn’t immediately call for deletion because honestly, I was also wanting to keep my account paused and dormant but ready to be reactivated if things don’t end up working out. And I’ll be honest, I did occasionally check to see if he’d change up the details since he did that when we were casually dating, so I kind of kept my account up for that reason too. So this trust is definitely going to have to be rebuilt, and I also need to learn to trust someone more (just in general) because I’m someone who finds it hard to trust people easily which isn’t going to fly in any relationship. Constantly suspicious for no reason is tiring and damaging, I do realise that. (Which is why uh… THERAPY?) 

Again, I’ve done as he did with the whole “purely chatting and looking for friends thing”, which I’ve elaborated in my other post so yeah, I think that’s why I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt. 

As for the relationship thing, I personally am someone who doesn’t mind not being asked to be someone’s girlfriend; just as long as we’re on the same page then I’m good. But of course, personal preferences varies which is understandable lolol. I will say he did try to make a conscious effort of doing what you said; shooting me a text to ask how I am, and texting those other things as well. I’ll be honest, I’ve completely fallen short on that myself, simply because I find myself to be annoying when I message him with anything like that. Biggest flaw about me is when I start to like someone, I end up drawing back. And it probably makes me look like an asshole who doesn’t initiate conversations, or simply someone who doesn’t care. I am trying to do better on this front though, cause it would be hypocritical of me to expect him to do the initiating to ease my mind while I do nothing like that in return. I have been pretty hypocritical thus far since he’s usually the one initiating, usually the one telling me all that sweet stuff, usually the one being “considerate”. Maybe he doesn’t need as much as reassurance as I do but I can’t be giving him nothing in return. I’ve got communication issues myself (again, not just in romantic relationships) which I’m tryna work on. 

But he’s never left me hanging for a week, so I’ll give him that LMFAO. However, let me just go off topic for a bit and mention how long distant dude left me hanging for weeks? Months? Yep. So I know how that shit feels, and I’m glad cat guy is at least not that much of a fucking prickass bitch. 

The long distance thing is only temporary; it isn't like, permanent lmao, or I would have just broken it off with him completely (or he would have done that with me since we both know he can't handle that shit based on how he broke up with his ex last time). I also don’t think I can do long distance myself, and this whole thing right now is proving it. Long distant dude should have been a clue-in, honestly.

I thank you for saying I’m probably not overthinking, but I know my brain is wired a little differently and I’m just someone who overthinks literally everything. Not just in relationships. And then I end  up doing shit wrong because of my overthinking. I’m also not exactly squeaky clean myself in this whole thing; part of the problem, honestly. The only difference is I’m aware of it and I’m trying to be better, yet I still fall short. 

And I hope he can, too, if he’s willing to work with me on this. I honestly think he probably had shit going on when he was dating those two other people, and the communication was probably at rockbottom, which is why he’s never learned to communicate properly. And he also seems like someone who bottles up his feelings and emotions. Obviously these are all assumptions based on various observations of mine (such as me being around his family and seeing how he interacts with them; hearing him talk about how his friend group doesn’t seem to really open up about things — hell, they don’t even know who’s dating and who’s not LMFAO, etc.) 

What I am learning from dating is that a lot of people need therapy, myself included. 

Again, I don't really trust my intuition simply because I know I'm someone who overthinks everything, even the simplest of things, and honestly, I think social media and different opinions have made it harder for me to decide what's true and what's not. I've been seeing so many blanket statements made about the situation I'm kind of in, and it genuinely hurts because I want to believe things can be different and that there are exceptions, however small of a chance there is. Call me a fool, but I want to see if things will work out. And if I get hurt, that’s on me, but at least I know I’ve given it my all. Obviously I hope things don’t turn sour lol. 

I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt for my own sake at this point, because I need a peace of mind, and I want to move on from this and hope for the best in the future. Obviously if he fucks me over, he’s going to fuck himself over too because it’s going to hurt him if I break if off with him — I’m very confident of that, at the very least. 

But yeah, perhaps I’m a little delusional, but I’m ready to move the fuck on and parade on and hope for the best. It’s either heartbreak or triumph for me at this point wekfnfklewn

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Damn, Elf!Hawke goes hard. It also makes so many things in canon more interesting.

Aveline not letting Carver join the guard could have an extra layer of racism, due to him being sympathetic to elves even if Aveline saw him as human.

Hawke's rise to fame and the legit struggle of whether to tell everyone that their beloved champion is an elf, or keep quiet because the last thing elves need is for Hawke to fuck up and give them all a bad name. Possibly also protecting their sibling from the backlash they'd get from being outted as elvhen, especially a templar!Carver.

Carver also gets an extra layer when we consider that he probably was more afraid of how his elvishness would affect his FAMILY rather than himself. He couldn't risk outting himself without also risking his sibling(s) being made tranquil.

The Qunari situation, and how Hawke would be more sympathetic to them, because they know what it feels like to be disconnected from one's culture and yet be unable to return to it.

The entire conflict with the chantry and templars and mages. Hawke's resentment at the chantry's treatment of elves thrown into the mix. Malcolm's own history with the circle and how he was "rescued". The fact that the chantry attempted the genocide of their people and is still an active threat to them.

Fenris. Another elf that never really got to be an elf. Just. Would Hawke try to reach out? To say that Fenris may not recall his past, but he has a heritage and Hawke will share as much of it with him as they can. Would Fenris want to? Would he hum the songs and eat the food and learn the words if Hawke offered them, from equal to equal, lost child to lost child?

And finally, Hawke showing up in Inquisition and greeting a Lavellan Inquisitor with "Aneth ara".

GOD ANON YOU GET ME

Another huge factor to whether Hawke is open about being an elf though is class. The biggest thing protecting the family from the templars, especially after Hawke becomes Champion, is the fact that a wealthy and respected noble family is essentially untouchable, even when they spit in the face of everything the Chantry and Circle stand for.

But elves aren't allowed to be nobility, or at least there's definitely systems in place to keep it from happening. Elves aren't meant to be wealthy or influential, especially not in the city of chains. So what would happen to that protection if the Hawke kids being elven was public knowledge? I think the best-case scenario is that their family would keep their money and their nice house, but essentially become pariahs in society and laughingstocks in noble circles. Worst case scenario. . . they lose everything. They're stripped of whatever they have, any titles and political influence, legally or through some bullshit excuses and convenient "proof" of wrongdoing or theft or something to justify taking everything from the family.

Hawke's reputation as Champion is ruined through lies and slander, Hawke or Bethany or both get dragged to the Circle because they no longer have public opinion defending them. Are elves even allowed to be templars? Because we don't see any in the games as far as I'm aware of, so there's probably either an official policy only allowing humans to join or an unwritten policy meant to keep everyone else out. So that means Carver either gets kicked out of the Order entirely or will face horrible abuse and mistreatment by the other templars, especially if he's been more openly supportive of mages already.

After everything they'd gone through to get there, would Hawke be able to justify that to themself? After losing so much, the suffering their parents went through and their father's lifetime of trauma and pain and the sibling buried in a shallow grave in Ferelden, could they justify risking what little they've fought tooth and nail for? If their family being true to themselves means they end up dying in the slums, what was even the point of all the pain and suffering and grief? Could Hawke live with knowing that they doomed their family by sharing the secret that their father took to his deathbed?

It's a terrible thing to think about :(

I think an elf Hawke would absolutely be more sympathetic to the Qunari, especially the Arishok's desperation to just finish what he's there for and return home, get back to somewhere he belongs. Hawke knows what it's like to be an outsider, to be looked at as a threat just for existing, to be desperate to be around people like you. I don't know if that would make the resolution to the conflict kinder, with the Arishok getting the tome and leaving peacefully after connecting so much with Hawke, or if it would make the inevitable violence and tragedy so much worse.

I honestly don't know how Fenris would feel about Hawke being an elf. Canonly, he gets VERY angry when Merrill tries to connect with him over elf stuff, especially when she brings up Dalish things, but he's also very wary of her as a person because of the whole blood magic thing. Would it be easier if it was Hawke, someone he loves and trusts, even as a friend? Would he feel more comfortable sharing his feelings about being an elf and what that actually means in his life? Would he embrace the traditions that they share with him?

Or would it just make him feel more cornered, just another thing he can fuck up or another way for someone else to twist him into what they think he should be? Because one of the big issues he has with Merrill trying to appeal to that part of him is that he's not Dalish and he feels way more connection to Tevinter, all he ever knew growing up, than to the Dalish elves who were never part of his life. Maybe Hawke trying to connect to him through Dalish culture would just make him feel like they're not actually seeing him for himself and that Hawke is just one more person who has decided who he is regardless of his feelings about it.

Hawke and Lavellan would be attached at the hip. They start a club for Dalish and reconnecting elves in the Inquisition. Mother Giselle hates it.

[peppermintbee]

OMORI’s poor writing (Part 2)

Once again, if you are a big fan of OMORI, this review is not for you. Treasure this game, love it, recommend it, make fan art, buy the merch, do what you will with it. I am not here to take OMORI away from anyone. Based on the overwhelmingly positive reviews on Steam, I know that my opinion is in the minority.

However, just as the fans have the right to praise the game, I have the right to examine it, criticize it, and explain why it failed to provide a compelling experience. This is second part of my review where I will tackle OMORI’s problematic themes and disrespectful appropriation of mental health.

[ See Part 1: Plot Writing Lies ]

(Note: I use “OMORI” in all-caps for the game title, and “Omori” in title case for the character name.)

Spoilers and criticism below.

Part 2: OMORI’s message is mishandled and distasteful

OMORI provides a warning that it depicts scenes of depression, anxiety, and suicide. Because the game includes these scenes, I assumed these mental health issues are presented in a way that is meaningful and respectful.

However, that is not the case. 

Despite having depictions of such, this game is not really about depression, anxiety, or even suicide. It’s about committing a horrible crime, lying about it, and getting over the guilt.

1. Suicide as a game mechanic

Suicidal thoughts are intrusive, terrifying, and painful. As well as ending the victim's life, suicide wreaks havoc on the lives of those who once knew them. It is often a taboo topic, but discussing such matters is an important step to understanding and preventing it. Video games are a medium well suited to approaching such dark topics.

Unfortunately, OMORI does not handle the topic of suicide well at all.

First, suicide is written as a unavoidable game mechanic that seems to have been included for shallow reasons such as aesthetic and shock value. To leave Sunny’s headspace and wake up, you--as a player--must direct him to stab himself in the stomach. 

But why? It’s not like waking up involves some sort of major sacrifice. In fact, waking up is something that is more or less unavoidable. Reality should be something that snatches Sunny away from his headspace against his will, perhaps as an encroaching darkness that Sunny can run from, but never truly escape. But instead, facing reality is something you are forced to opt into in the most needlessly violent way possible.

Forcing you--as a player--to literally commit suicide just to wake up from a dream is a pointless, distasteful, and disrespectful action that sets a precedent for suicide not being taken seriously in this game. (And it isn’t.)

In the black space, Omori is pressured to kill a cat. In that scene, regardless of your choice, you are forced to kill yourself. However, the act of stabbing yourself has been seen so many times at that point that it has completely lost any impact. Who cares about suicide when it’s been reduced to just a means of travel?

Lastly, if you fail to defeat the final boss, Sunny commits suicide in the real world. However, this is not a cutscene, it is once again something that you--as a player--are forced to do to progress. Putting these actions in the hands of a player is not as meaningful as the writer seems to believe, because there are no other options to progress. Any weight in making that decision is lost to resignation; a frustrated sigh of “Well, okay, fine. I guess I have to click Z here.” You are then rewarded with a SLAPPING pop song and a psychedelic cutscene of Sunny falling to his death. It’s tasteless to its core and appropriates the deaths of every suicidal person as a quirky, shallow “bad end.”

(Seriously, this is how the writer decided to depict a child taking his own life.)

2. Sunny/Omori is a poor presentation of depression

Sunny/Omori does not smile. Even in past photographs before The Incident, he still is not smiling. The contrast between Sunny and his friends stands out like a sore thumb, so I assumed this was the writer’s attempt to show that Sunny is dealing with depression, where he can’t be happy even in happy situations.

Of course, if that were the case it would be inaccurate since depressed people do smile and do hide their true feelings. They are often dismissed with, “You can’t be depressed, I saw you smiling once.” However, I was willing to let Sunny’s chronic frown slide because sometimes you have to oversimplify an idea to get your point across.

Much to my surprise, there is NO evidence of Sunny having depression before The Incident and there is very little indication of him having depression throughout the game either. The evidence of this is that while looking at a family portrait, Sunny comments that he's never liked to smile. Since he's a a baby in this portrait, this goes to show that his not smiling is simply a preference -- a quirky character trait that makes him stand out so that you feel an emotion during the true ending when he finally smiles. 

Everything in the game seems to point to him being pretty happy and well adjusted up until he killed Mari. Then, even after he killed Mari, he pretty much looks and behaves the same way. Wouldn’t it be more jarring and tragic if you saw Sunny was happy in the past, but depressed now?

Which leads me to my next point...

3. Sunny and Basil are not depressed, they’re guilty (and for good reason)

In the book I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t), Brené Brown explains the difference between feeling guilt and shame.

Guilt means: “I did something bad.” Shame means: “I am something bad.”

Guilt, when attributed to bad behavior, is actually a healthy emotion. It means that you have a sense of right and wrong, that you empathize with those you’ve hurt, and it motivates you to make things right.

Shame is an unhealthy emotion. It arrests growth, destroys self-esteem, causes poor decision making, isolates you from your loved ones, and is directly correlated with anxiety and depression.

OMORI should be a game about overcoming shame. All the right set pieces are there. Sunny’s walled himself off, his sister (allegedly) committed suicide, and he seems to be struggling with lifelong depression. However, this all falls apart, when it’s revealed that he killed his sister and staged her death as a suicide to escape blame (with Basil’s help). He DID do something bad. It’s not shame, it’s literally guilt.

All at once, OMORI stops being a game about recovering from grief and depression and becomes a game that demands the player to sympathize with a killer and liar who is hiding from his crimes. Because he and Basil feel bad about what they did, Sunny and Basil are presented as greater victims than their actual victim.

4. OMORI asks you empathize with villains (with ZERO self awareness)

Games where you are playing a character with a guilty conscience has been told before, but where OMORI really fails is that Sunny is not truly held accountable for what he did to others. Instead, the game focuses on HIS pain: since killing his sister he’s been isolated, he’s having nightmares, and he’s suicidal. 

The plot of the game is focused on helping Sunny forgive himself for ruining other people’s lives. The writing barely acknowledges how his friends/family feel about what he did. When his victims’ pain IS addressed, it’s either used to further victimize Sunny (ie: isn’t it sad for him that he made his friends so sad?) or it’s used to reassure the player that Sunny’s victims have forgiven him (or will forgive him). 

In fact, the game holds Mari responsible for her own death, citing that her "perfectionism" must have been what pushed Sunny to attack her. OMORI presents Mari, through headspace, as someone who accepted death gracefully and wants Sunny to live a happy life. She is never given her own voice and nothing in the game suggests she is capable of feeling bitter over her death and postmortem desecration. She plays the role of the Madonna archetype--and the perfect victim--allowing the player to empathize entirely with Sunny while accepting that Mari brought everything on herself.

[Mari suggesting that Sunny acting out his aggression on her was her fault.]

The climax of this game is NOT Sunny telling the truth to his friends. The climax is Sunny defeating his guilt and forgiving himself. We know this because the story does not even show how his friends respond to his confession, because-- once again-- what’s most important thing is resolving Sunny’s pain, not the pain he has caused others. (Though the game does heavily imply that his friends will forgive him.)

[Pictured: the boys shedding their guilt is the true happy ending ]

Imagine, for a moment, if this game was about an abuser, who caused immense pain to someone and got away with it. Then, the whole game was about how they felt bad for the abuse they caused, and-- as a player-- you help them forgive THEMSELF for their past abuse. Then, in the last few seconds of the game, they either apologize to their victim or kill themself. The victim’s response is not shown because it is not important.

This is the plot of OMORI, except with a bunch of excuses thrown on top to make it more palatable. Sunny and Basil are just soooo cute and sad. Killing Mari was an accident. Stringing her body up like a piñata was a juvenile mistake. The boys feel SO BAD that they want to kill themselves. And because suicide is so tragic, you-- as an audience-- are manipulated into empathizing them.

5. In OMORI, suicide is used as a cheap ploy for sympathy

As I mentioned before, suicide is horrible and tragic. People struggling with suicidal ideation need help, support, and respect. That said, let’s make one thing clear: being suicidal does not automatically make someone a good person. There are plenty of examples of criminals who kill themselves to escape the penalty or guilt for something they did. It is so common in the news that I don’t think I have to list out examples.

In bad endings, Sunny and Basil’s suicides are 100% motivated by guilt for their very real crimes. Now, it should be stated, Sunny and Basil do not deserve to die. And because suicide is such an extreme, permanent end for those two boys, we-- as players-- are invested in preventing that tragic end at all costs.

However, the looming threat of suicide is used as leverage to force the audience to dismiss the severity of what Sunny and Basil did. As I’ve said before, the plot of the game is about soothing and alleviating Sunny’s guilt and stopping him from killing himself as opposed to making things right. 

The worst thing is, this tactic actually works. The threat of suicide is so strong, it has distracted many players from the truth that this story is about sympathizing with a boy who has killed his sister, with little regard for those his actions have affected (see point #4).

It’s terrible because suicide is such a serious topic worthy of discussion, but when used as little more than pity-bait, it twists your perception of what the characters did and silences those who try to criticize how this game handles such topics.

6. Mari's suicide being fake is a terrible twist

Lastly, by revealing Mari’s “suicide” as an accidental death, OMORI misses an opportunity to tell a much more powerful story. In the first half of this game, when Mari is thought to have committed suicide at the young age of 15, is a sobering moment. That tragedy is something very real.

If Mari had killed herself as opposed to being killed, Sunny isolating himself after his sister takes her own life is realistic. Mari’s death coming as a surprise is also realistic; how often have we heard people saying that they never knew someone was suffering? That they seemed like such a happy person?

Losing a loved one to suicide does not just cause horrible grief, but crippling shame as well. Those left behind will blame themselves, tormented by thoughts of how they could have saved them, how they would do anything to get them back. That shame can follow you forever, haunting you like a ghost, threatening you with the same fate. Overcoming that grief and shame is no simple task, and I truly thought OMORI was going to be about grappling with grief and letting go of survivor guilt.

Instead, Mari didn’t commit suicide, her life was cut short by her brother. Then, her body was staged as a suicide, forever changing how her family and friends perceived her. Her hanging body did not represent a devastating loss of life and horror of teen depression, but instead is a cheap twist that represents Sunny’s guilt for killing her and tampering with her corpse.

Conclusion:

As I’ve mentioned before OMORI has a lot of potential. The set pieces of a depressed kid who escapes to a dream world to cope with his unresolved trauma is one that had the makings to be very meaningful. However, it fumbles these issues, creating a sloppy plot that results in a problematic message. It’s baffling that this even happened, especially considering the length of time this was in development.

[technofantasia]

coffee shop AU, enemies to lovers, fake dating, high school AU, hurt/comfort, hurt/no comfort, soulmates, time loop 🤔🤨🤔

(In response to this)

OOOO ooo ooo ooo this is many!! :D

But okay letsgo >:3

Coffee shop AU: Eh, C. Coffee shop AUs feel like the least interesting kind of domestic AU to me for some reason. Like, I won't AVOID them? But I feel like the author needs to really try to make it great. On its own, it falls a bit flat. Maybe because I don't tend to go to coffee shops myself, so it's not relatable...? Also whenever I do, I don't talk to the person working there. Like, they're doing their job, I don't want to bother them. Do most people have conversations with their baristas? idk maybe it's just because I'm not social. Either way, I think it's ok. A bit bland unless the author does something special with it.

Enemies to lovers: Honestly? D. I do not care for it at all. I like the fluffy stuff! Enemies to FRIENDS to lovers, I could get behind, but you CANNOT skip the intermediary step there. Otherwise, it's like, what is the relationship even based on, y'know? If they just flip from hating each other to being all lovey-dovey. Kismesisitude and non-hs relationships like it are another thing, and I do really like that, but only when it's done right, and it usually isn't. IT'S ABOUT THE MUTUAL TRUST AND ADMIRATION OKAY!! NOT THE RANDOM OUT OF THE BLUE LOVEY-DOVEY STUFF >:0

Fake dating: B! I can get behind it. It really allows for some great character interaction opportunities, all based around the premise of what you show to the world vs. what you actually feel, and how those feed into each other (which is a great hook). You get that good good private relationship and public relationship dynamic, until they inevitably collide!! Lots of fluff or hurt/comfort opportunity there as well. I don't tend to read a lot of it, but whenever I see it for characters I care about, it can be nice.

HIgh school AU: C. My interest in high school AUs plummeted after leaving high school, surprisingly enough. They're okay, to be sure, but the usual fare relies on a kind of rose-tinted glasses view of high school that I can't imagine anyone being able to slip into after going through it themself. It really depends on the fandom, though; some sets of characters work really well put into that kind of a structured social ecosystem, but for others, it just kind of feels limiting.

Hurt/Comfort: YESSSS YES YES SOLID A NO QUESTION. My drug of choice!! THIS is where the heart of fandom lies, in my humble opinion. It's alllll about putting characters in bad situations, and seeing the other characters help them out, be it physically or emotionally! Mostly because, while that kind of thing is central to the construction of any kind of story, most canons don't spend much time exploring the aftermath of the hurt they inflict. It would take up too much time. BUT it's exactly that aftermath that holds the deepest depths of the characters' emotions!! As fandomgoers, then, it is our duty, nay, PRIVILEGE to uncover those depths via exploring that hurt in the ways the original author didn't! And also sometimes creating new hurts in order to get to that same place of vulnerability, that works too. The best fandom trope, either way.

Hurt/No Comfort: Ooooh this can be great too. Another A. While the purpose of Hurt/Comfort is to use the characters' vulnerabilities to experience catharsis, Hurt/No Comfort (or angst? whump? all names for similar things) is all about a different kind of catharsis. It's to say, "what if the worst happened? what then?", and exploring that for a while, since the characters' true depths always come out the clearest in their darkest hour; then, you can come back from that, appreciate the fact that the worst HASN'T come to pass, and also appreciate the characters in a new, more meaningful light. When you're in the mood for it, that's the gooood shit.

Soulmates: F. Straight up. This is probably my most unpopular fandom opinion, but I hate soulmate AUs. It takes away all the interesting parts of a ship, waters it down into uninteresting, out of character, amatonormative nonsense, and flavors it all with shallow worldbuilding that falls apart into dystopia if you think about it for more than two seconds. Like... I understand WHY people like it. If you just want an excuse for your favorite characters to have a meaningful-feeling, adorable meet-cute, okay! Yeah, it allows for that. But if you care about ANYTHING deeper, soulmate AUs destroy that by its very premise. They don't allow for depth, because when you try to take the concept deeper, you start running into essential problems; things like "what if they ever have an argument? its not like they can ever split up. what kind of pressures might that inherent fact put on their relationship?" or "if these two characters MET knowing that they would be romantic partners, wouldn't that completely change their relationship? would their dynamic even be close to what drew me to them in the first place?" or "wouldn't a world where everyone spends their lives looking for their "soulmate", before meeting them and then not being able to leave that person no matter what happens, be fucking terrible? that sounds like a BREEDING GROUND for abuse." Not to mention that, as an arospec person myself, the idea of "everyone has one person who is made for them, who completes them" just feels... slimy. I can't enjoy it. No shade to people who do, obviously, but it makes me VERY uncomfortable. I have a whole big rant about soulmate AUs that I've touched on the basic points of here but I won't go into it any more than this, because hoo boy, this is already getting pretty long.

Time Loop: AAAAA YES I LOVE TIME LOOPS!!!! A, for sure. It's the PERFECT hurt/comfort and/or angst setup, with a heavy focus on character development. How will the character first react to being in a loop? What do they do? How do they feel? All with that slow rise in desperation, as their personal problems just keep compounding and compounding with the knowledge that, in order for anything to change, THEY have to be the one to do it.... aaaaa its such a good scenario!!! GUARANTEED to bring out the most juicy parts of the character, I love it.

And noooow we are done!! That was very long. But thank you so much for asking, I have so many thoughts all the time lol :P

[publickoccurances]

Female companions react to Sole breaking up with them out of the Blue: Part 2 ‘The Resolve’

Cait: It had been half a year since Cait and Sole had their breakup. Neither party seemed to have dealt with it well. But they went their seperate ways and they stuck to their guns. They were over. That was that.

Well. For six months maybe. See neither of them actually wanted to be apart. But they were both too stubborn to make first contact to figure things out.

“Excuse me! Hey! You!” A drifter called out to Sole as they were just walking into Goodneighbour.

Sole looked at the stranger, raising an eyebrow. “You need something?”

The drifter look relieved. Very relieved. “God... I hope I’ve got the right person.” They muttered to themself. “Look there’s a lady in The Third Rail looking for you. She told me if I didn’t get you to go see her she was gonna beat me to a pulp.

Sole was just getting even more confused. Who on Earth was looking for a them. “Whats her name?” Sole wasn’t stupid. They weren’t just about to walk into a trap.

“I don’t know pal- look shes Irish, red hair, very fucking aggressive.” They shook their head. “Look I’m done. She’s insane. Just go talk to her so she’ll get off my back.”

Of course it would be Cait looking for them. Who else would threaten a drifter just to get their attention. Looks like they’d arrived at Goodneighbour at just the right time.

....................

Cait took another swig of her drink as stared at the door. She’d been hanging out in Goodneighbour for about a week now. Trying to bully drifters into getting Sole to come talk to her. She felt pathetic that she couldn’t go find them herself.

She almost couldn’t believe her eyes when that familiar face walking into the bar. “Hail fecking Mary! I didn’t think ye’d actually come.”

Sole walked over to her, arms crossed against their chest. “Why are you telling people you’re gonna batter them if I didn’t come talk to you.”

Cait chuckled, taking another sip. She was clearly drunk. Hell. She’d spent the last six months drunk. “Because I knew it’d be the quickest way to get ye arse in here.”

Sole took a seat at the table she was sat at, sighing and shaking their head. “Cait.... you’re pissed.”

“No fecking shit... I’m in a pub aren’t I? What was ye expecting me to be?” She rolled her eyes. She hadn’t asked after Sole for them to just come in here and give her a lecture.

“Look Cait. Just tell me what you need-.”

Cait shook her head. “No. No I don’t need anything, alright?” She suddenly looked very serious. After the way Sole had walked out on her she had decided then and there to never rely on someone again. She wasn’t making that mistake yet another time.

“I just wanted to see ye again, okay?”

Sole nodded slowly. Truth was, they had wanted to see her too. They reached out for her drink, taking a sip from it for themself. “Okay... well here I am.”

“Here ye’ are.” Cait nodded slowly, slight smile on her lips. “I’d been thinkin’ bout what ye said.” She began, fingers tapping against the table. Her knuckles were bloodied and bruised, she’d clearly been in a few fights lately.

“Cait- about that... I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have spoke to you like that.” Sole mumbled sheepishly, rubbing the back of their head.

Cait shook her head, a grin spread across her lips much to Sole’s surprise. “No... no apologising. Because I’ve been thinkin’ bout it. And you were right.”

Sole looked shocked. Raising an eyebrow they took another sip. Maybe they needed to be drunk as well to understand what she was going on about. “I was right?”

She nodded her head. “That’s what I just said isnt it? But I’ve been thinking. And truth is love... I were using you too.” Cait knew she probably wasn’t making much sense now. So she sat up a little straighter, as though that was going to help her compose herself. “Ye were using me to make yerself feel good again- and I was using ye’ for the same reason.”

Sole nodded slowly. Okay, so they had admitted they were using each other for the entirety of their relationship. “So? That’s that. We’re good. No more bad blood?”

Cait let out a frustrated sigh, running her fingers through her red hair. “For the love of god... ye really don’t get it?”

“No Cait... I don’t get it.”

“That’s what love is!” She exclaimed, as though it was some giant realisation she had just recently had. “Well- part of it. Using each other to make ourselves happy... being there for each other to lean on... healing.”

Sole felt their heart rate speed up a bit. She was talking love now. She was talking about love and about them. This was certainly a development.

Sole managed a slight smile. “Cait- are you saying you love me?”

Cait rolled her eyes, punching Sole’s shoulder gently. “I’m saying ye’ was an idiot to leave me because what ye’ thought was unhealthy... was healthy.”

“Yeah?” Sole murmured, watching her carefully. “Think you can forgive me?”

Cait leaned back in her seat, shrugging her shoulders, but it was clear she was just playing a little hard to get. “Aye well, we’ll see. Ye’ve got six month of making up to do. So best start by buying me another drink.”

Curie: Curie sighed softly as she watched the door of her lab. Sole was due back today with some supplies she had asked them to get for her. They’d stayed friends after the break up. Well Curie hadn’t really had much choice. While Sole was breaking up with her she hadn’t realised what was happening until it was too late. But there was no point in dwelling on that now. They had stayed friends and the occasional work partners. That was better than nothing, no?

“Curie?!” A voice called from outside the door, and Curie recognised it immediately.

See sometimes she would be a bit petty. Whether it was pretending she didn’t hear Sole sometimes, or whether she was a little rougher when administering stimpacks. It was a little outlet for her. She was impressed because it was a very human way to deal with things.

“Curie... the door!” The voiced called out again.

Curie sighed and finally stood, moving over to open it. “Ah mademoiselle/monsieur!” She pretended to be surprised. “I did not hear you calling.... come in.”

Sole walked into the lab, placing the heavy boxes they had been carrying down on the floor. “Christ... they were heavy.” They puffed, taking a moment to catch their breath.

“Ah yes, sometimes I forget that weight is a factor when you bring me supplies.” Curie lied. That was nother new thing that had happened since the break up, she found herself able to lie.

“Next time I think you may be best hiring a caravan crew.” Sole half joked, taking a seat at the desk.

They had a feeling that sometimes Curie was playing them. She acted differently than she had before. Almost like part of her was angry? But they were confused as to why. When they broke up it had been on good terms?

Sole ran their fingers through their hair, wincing slightly. “Would you mind giving me a check over and a quick patch up?” They asked as they glanced to their friend. “I got into a few rough situations and I’m feeling a bit sore- plus I think I’ve soaked up a fair few rads.”

Curie would never say no to checking Sole over. Even though part of her was still mad, she loved them. Nothing would change that. “Of course... you know zhe drill. Up on zhe examination table please. Shirt and trousers off.” She instructed, getting her examination kit ready.

Sole did as they as they were told, stripping down to their underwear and jumping up onto the table. They’d been here a hundred times easily. Life in the wastes was rough.

Curie glanced at Sole for a second, she had to fight the blush that was creeping onto her cheeks. No. She could no longer look at them in that way. She had to be professional.

She tried to get through the examination as quickly as possible. She gave a few shots of radaway and cleaned out a few wounds. Nothing else was needed done.

She was just finishing up when she noticed a bruise on Soles neck. She knew what that was. It was something Sole had done to her many times when they were intimate. A love bite.

Every part of her being was telling her to act like she had not seen it. But the more human side of her was reacting differently. “I see you ave’ been busy.”

Sole raised an eyebrow. They had no clue she’d spotted the mark. “Well yeah. You did send me on a wild goose chase for those supplies.” They joked lightly.

Curie stepped away from the examination table, putting her supplies away with a bit of aggression. “Mhmm.” She mumbled coldly.

“Is something wrong?” Sole questioned, pulling their clothes back on. Curie seemed annoyed.

“It wasn’t enough for you, was eet?” Curie suddenly rounded on Sole. “Aving’ me here... I wasn’t enough?”

Soles eyes widened. Where on Earth had this outburst come from. “Curie- what?”

Curie crossed her arms over her chest. “You couldn’t be satisfied by just me... you ad’ to ave’ your fun out there?”

“Curie. I was faithful to you.” Sole raised an eyebrow. Getting a bit defensive. They couldn’t believe what Curie was insinuating here.

“Zhen how do you explain that?” She prodded st the mark on their neck. “You leave me. Confused. You leave me confused. I ad’ no idea what that conversation we ad’ meant until you left.” All these months of being angry and it was finally spilling out. “I didn’t want you to leave... but no, Curie must just smile and nod. And to top it off, you come in ere’ with a mark from someone else?”

Sole felt their face go slightly red, rubbing the mark on their neck. “Curie... I. This- I got bit attacked by a blood bug.” This was a lot of information to process. Curie hadn’t realised they’d broken up with her. And now she was mad because she thought they were out there screwing other people.

Curie felt her face go a deep shade of red. Oh no. She had made a fool of herself. All she could think to do was turn away, staring down at the ground.

Sole moved and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Curie... I’ve not even been able to look at someone that way since you.”

Curie shook her head slightly, they were just saying this to make her feel better. “You ave’ no reason to explain yourself to me.”

“No I do. Because... well I regret what happened.”

Curie looked up suddenly, eyes wide. Regret what had happened? Did that mean they wanted their current situation to change. “I wish for you to explain... to avoid any confusion.”

Sole thought for a moment. How to explain and avoid confusion? They moved a hand to Curies cheek, watching her eyes for a moment before leaning in to press their lips to hers. There. That should explain it.

Piper: Six months since Blue had walked out the door. Six months since she’d followed them outside and yelled she’d never forgive them. God she’d made a fool of herself in front of the whole city. But she’d been so worked up in the moment she hadn’t cared.

Six months later and things were different. She was mad. All the time she was mad. Why had life been so unfair? First her dad was taken from her, a whole city learned to hate her and when she finally found someone who loved her, they walked away?

The hardest thing about it was she still had to work with Blue from time to time. Nick would call them in to work a case with him. Even though they were at each other’s throats constantly now they still got results. And Nick needed that.

Something Piper had noticed the last few jobs they had done was how Blue had been conducting themself differently. When they’d been together Blue had been so compassionate, always stopping to help a stranger no matter how big or small the problem was. But now? Now they were cold, rude, a kind of bully. Maybe that’s what made her so angry.

She had been working on an article when she heard the front door open. That was odd. Nat wasn’t due back from school for another couple of hours. She moved to the staircase, to see who it was. Her stomach dropped when she saw Blue stood there.

“Nick asked me to bring you these notes. Needs a file made up for a case.” Sole placed the paper on the table, glancing up at Piper.

The reporter nodded as she moved down the stairs and to the table. “Anything else?” She asked as she had a quick look at the papers.

“He wants us to go check out a vacant house. Reckons it’s a lead for that case we were on last week.” It was strange how non personal their exchanges were now. They used to be so close.

“Yeah well you can tell Nicky I’m not working any more cases if you’re on them.” Piper shook her head, putting the papers back down.

Sole raised an eyebrow, their expression going from blank to pissed off in a matter of seconds. “That’s really mature of you Piper.”

“Oh trust me it has nothing to do about maturity.” Piper shot back, her voice getting that way it did when she was mad.

“Oh yeah? Then what the fuck is it about?” Sole didn’t have the patience for this. Not anymore. Every time they had to work with Piper it killed them inside. They still loved her. But now they couldn’t even have a conversation without arguing.

Piper took a step forward, she stood up straight, clearly showing that she wasn’t backing down. “Oh I don’t know. Maybe the fact you’ve been such an ass about things? You made a mother cry the other day because she asked you one question about how we were going to look for her missing daughter. You broke a settlers generator because they had the ‘audacity’ to question you... you ignored Nat when she-.’ She stopped herself before she could go any further. Blue just wasn’t worth this energy anymore. Not if they were going to keep acting the way they were.

Sole felt their entire body go cold. God. They really had been acting like that hadn’t they? But to hell if they were going to back down. Piper always had to have the last word. Not this time.

“Yeah well maybe if you weren’t constantly undermining every decision I make I wouldn’t have to be such a dick.” They muttered, taking a step towards her to match her defiant stance.

“Undermining your decisions? Blue I don’t get any say in the decisions you make- ESPECIALLY when they involve me.” God Piper was mad. Blue knew just how to push her buttons.

“Oh of course! It always comes back to this doesn’t it.” Sole shook their head, throwing their arms up in defeat.

Piper sighed and turned her back to them, rubbing her temples in frustration. “Of course it does. I told you Blue. I warned you that if you walked out on me and Nat I was never going to forgive you. I meant it.”

Sole sighed and slumped down on the sofa, looking down at their hands. The anger had gone. They were just filled with sadness now.

“I didn’t walk out on you and Nat... I walked away so you could be safer.”

Piper shook her head as she turned to look at Blue again, crossing her arms over her chest. “No. We were safe Blue. We’d never been safer than when you were here with us.”

Sole looked up at her, eyes wide with shock. “Pipes you literally got kidnapped because of me.” God. They hadn’t called her Pipes in a long time.

“Raiders take people all the time Blue... it wasn’t your fault.” She sighed, moving to sit beside them on the sofa. “Me and Nat were safer with you here. Because when you were here I didn’t feel like I had to barricade the doors every night. I didn’t feel like I had to watch my drink in the bar in case someone tried to poison me.... I didn’t feel like I had to watch Nat so carefully in case she turned into me.”

Sole ran their fingers through their hair, glancing to Piper. “I really made you feel safe?”

Piper gave them a sad smile, nodding her head. “Yeah. You did. But that doesn’t matter now. You made your choice Blue.” She went to stand up, but was stopped by Blue tugging on her hand.

“Piper... I made that decision because I was scared for you... I know you said you could never forgive me-.’ They began, but Piper cut them off.

“And I meant it Blue. I can’t forgive you for that.”

Sole shook their head. “I know. But give me a chance. Let me show you that I’m still me. That you can trust me again.”

Piper sighed. She wanted to say no. Wanted to walk away. But she couldn’t. She looked at her Blue and she just couldn’t say no. “Okay... but we’ve got to start from the beginning. Alright?”

[heteroflexiblebarneystinson]

I've been wanting to make this post for awhile, and I keep stopping myself because I know this isn't worth my energy, but it is getting harder and harder for me to ignore someone blatantly telling lies about me, my partner, and my friends. So I would just like to set the record straight, mostly to retain my own sanity. I'm only going to talk about the things that affected me specifically, since pretty much everything else has already been said.

Everyone probably knows who this is about, but I'm gonna leave it vague.

I was not one of the people they considered a "popular" creator. I had (and still do have) consistently fewer hits, comments, and kudos on all of my fics. This was already something that was discouraging to me, but I constantly saw them saying that their fics must be horrible and they must be a horrible writer because they don't get enough hits/comments/kudos. Given the fact that my fics got even less engagement, it felt as though they were saying I was a horrible writer, too. I told them multiple times that them putting themself down like this so often was hurtful to me, too, but they didn't stop doing it. They kept using an excuse to say that when they said those things, that it only applied to them, but I still felt worse about myself every single time.

Still, I always tried to reach out to them and encourage them about their work. I was a "small creator," too. I also struggled to get words out in my writing. I also had trouble feeling good about my writing. I also found it difficult to do things in order to improve my writing. We had a lot in common and I wanted to support them and their work because I knew how hard it could be. I read their fics. I had conversations with them about their fics. I gave them compliments, and I gave them constructive criticism that I thought would be helpful. And they did none of this for me in return.

That, in itself, would literally be fine. They don't owe me support or engagement on my work. I wasn't supporting them just so I could get support back. I genuinely wanted them to feel good about their writing and give them encouragement so they could improve. What bothers me, is that they insist that they did read my work. However, I have a very, very strong belief that they didn't. This part is frustrating because I can only speculate, and there's no way to prove whether or not they did, but it really goes beyond just that.

I have two versions of my only longform fic on ao3. The first version was a rough draft where I posted chapters as they were finished. When they read it, there were over 10,000 words. This can be a lot for someone to focus on, specifically for this person, who has said multiple times that they struggle with reading longform and focusing on reading in general. It is very hard for me to believe that they read my 10,000 word fic in one day, and didn't even mention that as being any sort of accomplishment for them. They left me a comment that gave no indication that they read it. I know it can be difficult to word comments or compliments, but even after that, it was clear to me that they didn't read it based on interactions we had in the server.

Specifically, I asked for an opinion on a scene I wanted to write, and they suggested I write a scene that I had literally already written and was already published on ao3 that they had already read. They chalked this up to the fact that they just forgot what happened in the fic. They assured me and promised me for months that they were going to read my fic, but they never did.

Finally, they have now told me that they aren't ever going to read my completed fic, because when they tried to last, they realized they were uncomfortable with the ship. I'm not sure how they read 10,000 words worth of my fic focused on that ship extremely easily, and then somehow realized months later that it made them uncomfortable actually.

I could be wrong about all this. They could've read it. All of these things could just be a coincidence. However, I take issue with their hypocrisy over this whole situation. They guilt trip people into giving them "book report" comments, but are unable to do the same for others. Which, in itself, is fine. You don't need to be great at leaving comments, but I don't understand why they can leave short comments and everyone else has to leave long, detailed ones.

Aside from all of this writing shit, they have had a history of ignoring me and my feelings. I asked them to stop making jokes about sex being wrong and bad because it was genuinely hurtful and damaging, and they made little effort to stop or understand my side of things. They made a xenophobic comment, and instead of recognizing this and apologizing, I had to tell them multiple times why it was wrong and hurtful before they even barely apologized. They made another awful comment implying trans men on hormones are I guess constantly horny.

I know they eventually apologize for these things. They backpedal and say they didn't mean it like that, or they didn't mean any harm, but that doesn't absolve them of the hurt they do cause. They will defend themself constantly before ever admitting any fault or responsibility for hurting others.

Anyway, I know that if they do read or acknowledge this post at all, they will give more excuses, and more defenses, and likely only focus on replying to one little detail in this whole long post. I know they won't acknowledge that I am an actual human being with actual feelings who was actually hurt badly by their actions. I've struggled immensely with making friends. I find it hard to talk to and socialize with people even just on the internet. I made a small Persona server with my partner so that I could find people who I had things in common with that I could just talk to and be friends with. It wasn't even a writing server. The only thing I wanted was a safe place where I could talk about something I loved with people who also loved it. I never wanted this.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

thank you for coming up with that ship name, it's so pretty <3 Anyway have a Faywood HC: Penny crushes on Aurelie in the early years before slowly realizing that Aurelie doesn't appreciate her (I agree with you she was so shallow) and realizing Luca lied about the trinket when Aurelie has no memory of giving it to her. But she's not mad ofc, she's touched <333

...I don’t know what inspired me to write this. I don’t even particularly ship Luca with Penny in general, but I guess you caught me in the right mood, and I’ve enjoyed our back n forth, and somehow this just came spilling out of my fingertips. I hope you enjoy - 

Dear Jacob,

I’ve told you this before, no doubt, but I really dislike lying. Especially to friends. A first year could tell you as much, that it’s wrong to deceive the people you care about...and yet I’ve done it, time and again. I kept my misgivings about Rowan a secret and that led to us falling out for months. I had my reasons, and Rowan themself has even said they were understandable, but that fight was still my fault. But there have been other times as well. I lie to cover for Talbott and Chiara virtually any time I talk about them. And in those cases, I genuinely think I’m doing the right thing. That’s the trouble, lying sometimes feels like it would be the right thing to do, for the best outcome all around, so that's what I wind up doing. 

It’s what I did to Penny, when her pen-friend visited from France. I lied, more than once, to protect her feelings. First by keeping my suspicions quiet, and second by giving her that ornament “from Aurelie” when it was not, in fact, from Aurelie at all. Well, it was from her...to me. But it should have gone to Penny if you ask me, so it did go to her...from “Aurelie.” and by that I mean me. 

Of course, I was only a second year at the time and I didn’t really think it through. Didn’t have a contingency plan for getting caught in the lie, and I probably should have thought of that. For all I knew, Penny could have immediately written to her pen-friend to thank her. But it never came back to haunt me like lying to Rowan did, so with time, I mostly forgot about it. Until tonight.

I’m pacing around the Hufflepuff Basement, looking for a certain Mitten who is not yet awake for her breakfast. With term having ended and the winter holiday begun, most of our friends have left school. Most of us. Rowan’s sticking around and we’re making up for lost time, (not like Mum wants to see me anyway, apparently…) and Penny’s parents would have to drag her home in chains - she’s not about to leave Beatrice stranded for Christmas. So there aren’t too many people to ask about my cat’s whereabouts. 

Just as I’m thinking about leaving to search for her by the dungeons, in case she’s seeing Bitten, I hear a familiar “Mrooow…” from within the girl’s dormitory. Door isn’t shut, so I peer inside to see Mitten on the floor, rolling around with whatever stray object she has claimed ownership of this time. It’s blue and looks far too fragile for her to be batting it around, but that’s Mitten. In another moment, I blink and recognize it - Penny’s ornament. 

I’m about to step inside and extract the makeshift “toy” from Mitten’s hold, when I see that Penny is already there, sitting on her bed and watching the show. Okay, well, that’s good - at least playtime has permission this time. I still owe Diego a new Ballycastle Bats poster...and to this day, I have no idea how Mitten knocked it down from the wall to convert into a scratching post.

“Hope you’ve worked up an appetite.” I call out to Mitten gently, holding up her breakfast bowl and waving it slowly. Mitten looks up, and I swear her eyes dilate before she dashes over to circle me, mrowing up a storm. “Okay, okay, right here…” I lead her away from the ornament, setting the bowl down and rewarding her with head rubs as she chows down, before glancing back up at Penny. “Thanks for that.” I really owe her one for her patience. 

Penny stares back at me with an odd, misty look in her eyes. She doesn’t say anything at first, and I don’t press her too. These haven’t exactly been easy times for her, Jacob. For the past two weeks, someone - usually me or Tonks - has to gently tug her away from Bea’s portrait so that she doesn’t sleep there. It’s no exaggeration to say that she’s a wreck. Still, she’s been brewing a calming draught to help quell her nerves, and when she takes it, that does seem to help. I can’t tell if she took some last night or not (I camped with Rowan) so I slowly approach, keeping an eye on her. “Did you sleep okay?” 

Penny doesn’t answer, and I feel fear rising in my heart that she may have had another nightmare. Like most things, they aren’t as bad when she takes the calming potion, but they still happen from time to time. Yet when I study Penny’s face, she doesn’t look upset. Emotional, maybe, but...not upset. Sitting down next to her I notice she’s holding something in her hands - a letter, by the looks of it. With very fancy handwriting. Penny has lovely handwriting, nothing like your wild chicken scratch, but she didn’t write this. She must have received it. Trying not to pry, I keep my face level with hers, before she folds up the letter and sets it aside. 

“You know, three years ago.” She speaks softly, and turns to look at me. “You told me that the blue ornament was a gift from Aurelie.” I feel my heart skip a beat. An old lie resurfacing, one I haven’t thought about in ages, and now I’m caught with no excuses. Yet Penny, predictably, doesn’t appear to be angry with me. She doesn’t have a mean bone in her body. “But we’ve been trading letters, and she asked about you. Asked if you ever wear the robes she got you, or if you kept the trinket she gave you.” I...have never worn those robes in  my life, I’ve only just realized. Not even sure where they are. But never mind that, Penny’s frown is a gentle one. “Why did you tell me it was for me?” 

I bite my lip, feeling the back of my neck heat up and I’m not sure why. But no, it’s time to come clean. “Because...because it should have been.” Maybe I’ve matured, maybe things are just coming together, but my fifth year has really led to a lot of conversations that should have happened ages ago. Making up with Rowan, making up with Jae...Tulip and Merula finally made up this year, in a sense...and now there’s this. “I’m sorry Penny, I guess I just didn’t want to spoil anything for you. But I…” Slowly rubbing the back of my neck, why is my skin prickling so much? “I feel like Aurelie should have gotten something for you, not me. You’re the one she’s closer to, and you were the one she lied to, back then…” I hesitate from going any further. Whatever my feelings, I’m not going to bash someone she cares about. 

Penny is looking down, her hair falling in her face. Jacob, have I ever mentioned that she has the most intense case of bedhead that any human being has ever had before? We both agree Tonks’ would be worse if her hair was actually long, but it’s not, and Penny’s practically hidden by a straw nest by now. Which is why...damn, I’m not sure what makes me do it, but it’s not like we’ve never been affectionate before. Still, I don’t know why I decide to start pushing her hair out of her face, but that’s what I do. 

Looking at me, she shakes her head, taking my hands. “No no, I’m not upset with you Luca. I just didn’t understand.” For the first time, she laughs a little. That is a good sign - she’s definitely still medicating with the calming draught. “Thought I may have just badly needed some morning tea. No, I...appreciate it. A lot, actually.” Her eyes meet mine, and I don’t let go of her hands. “Aurelie and I haven’t been writing to each other as often these days, though that’s at least partially my fault. I haven’t had the energy to write to anyone these days.” 

“That isn’t your fault. None of this is your fault.” I try to comfort her, but it’s never easy. There’s nothing that can be said to fix her situation, no spell to be cast. We simply have to break the curse - but we’ve done it before, and we’ll do it again. “You’re doing your best, and whatever that is right now, it’s enough.” I promise her. The room falls silent, except for the soft sounds of Mitten munching on her breakfast nearby. 

Penny shuts her eyes for a second and takes a deep breath. “I hope that’s true. It’s taken me awhile to realize it but, even when I give everything I have, people don’t always give the same amount back.” My stomach twists slightly. If she’s talking about Aurelie, I’m hesitant to agree even now, though of course I do...maybe I just need to listen and let her get this off her chest. I’m not sure. “I know that no one is required to give any amount of effort, but sometimes you-you’re led to believe they will, or that they want to, and...oh, I don’t know. Maybe she and I are simply growing apart. Maybe we’ve grown into different people. I’m certainly not the same.” 

“No, you’re wiser than you used to be,” I respond softly, squeezing her hands. “You’ve seen more of the world and not all of it is nice, but you still see the nice things. You ARE one of the nice things. Now, I haven’t talked to Aurelie in years, so, it’s probably not fair for me to make judgements, but...if she’s taking you for granted, she definitely hasn’t grown any wiser.” I had to hold myself back from saying that she was “still” taking Penny for granted, but it’s true. 

Penny sniffs. I don’t think she’s going to cry, but she’s usually closer to breakdowns than even I am these days. Bowing her head, she lets our foreheads nudge together and with no real rhyme or reason, we just stay like that for a while, still with our hands clasped. “Thanks Luca…” She finally whispers, sniffling again before sitting up more. Lifting her arms, I feel her cup my face, feel lips brush my forehead. After another moment’s pause, she sighs. “I need to start getting ready for my day, or I’ll lose my mind...am I keeping you from anything, or can you stay…?” 

I nod, knowing full well that Penny’s morning schedule lasts an hour at least. “I’ll be here.” 

Love, Luca

[softestvirgil]

A crappy review of Selfishness v. Selflessness

Reminder, this is called a crappy review because, it is really crappy. It only tells you things that I enjoyed in the episode and nothing more.

Virgil and Thomas in the same frame at the start made me geek out. It looks so cool!

Virgil is mad about Thomas not having purple hair, and to be fair I am too.

Alfrenhitchcova- what now?

Upon my first viewing, I was checking Patton's sweater and it threw me off so much that Deceit was pretending to be Logan this time and not him. Didn't think he'd do that.

“Lies!” “Yes definitely,” Deceit sucks at acting.

“Well your face ruined my day so we'll call it even,” That was very juvenile but it made me laugh so I'll give it a pass.

Roman unknowingly teaching Dee how to do his job better is so funny.

He's taking notes oh my god gET OUT-

“Bad Deceit! Oh, sorry Deceit!” He talks to himself what is he why is he such a dork I am yelling.

The bar is on the floor, man. It's on the floor.

“Deceit standing in the spot of one of my four best friends!” Patton, I love you.

Deceit is so sassy and gay what the-

“Wow, guys it's so cool how you never listen to Roman” Okay, you know what he has a point.

Psycho-Godfather-Wars sounds terrifying.

“I'm too emotionally unstable for jury duty can I be excused?” Mood.

Why is Patton full of Butterfingers?

“What does the Judge even do?” “His best!” Patton, I love you.

"I'm rubber you're glue, so whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you” “Curses…” “That was brutal, dude” What kind of court is this?

“Ahhh-ffidavit” Oh hello, Logan. I totally didn't miss you at all.

“Well maybe you shouldn't have been impersonated... did you ever think about that?” I missed that on my first time around and I just screamed.

“I don't feel anything,” “Oh, of course, you don’t” That… that was… that was a… wow okay cool.

Why does Logan operate the right arm and Roman the left? Is this how it actually works in a real brain?

I love when Logan started counting the seconds since Thomas heard about the callback and then just “TODAY”

“Objection! That is… bad for my case?” Patton should never be a lawyer ever in any situation.

“Wow, Thomas. It seems these days your moral compass is pointed south… towards hell!” Why are you so funny?

“Would you let Patton make his case?” I love best friends.

Smart move, not making Logan a bigger part of the trial. He would take the snake down so quick.

Virgil making a fart noise once again shows how juvenile he is, but it still made me laugh so I'll allow it.

“Objection! He's weaselling the witness!” “THE CORRECT TERM IS BADGERING!” Patton, you should know this, you're a Hufflepuff.

“Hi, Virgil!” They are best friends and that's all that matters in the whole world.

“The one and lonely!” Why are you lonely?

“REALLY OBVIOUSLY MUSCULAR AND NICE” Roman, can you not remember your name without that?

“No further questions… smirk,” “He just… said smirk…” They are all such dorks oh my GOD.

“Roman, imagine if you will-” “Done,” Best line in the episode do not argue with me.

Patton called Roman the most handsome prince. My royality heart.

“Sssssuck up” Oh, you.

Patton is really smart. I just wanna say that.

“Everything has a purpose and sometimes fulfilling your purpose means keeping things, close to the chest,” THAT WAS FORESHADOWING BECAUSE HIS LOGO IS ON HIS CHEST

Sanders Sides: We live in a society.

Virgil smiled at Patton's joke. They are best friends. Thank you.

Logan acting like a little kid in class raising his hand is so cute.

“You get it? He gets it!” Virgil smiled at Patton AGAIN. BEST FRIENDS. I LIVE!

The whole egoism thing really makes me think. How much do we do things simply because we feel that makes us a good person, rather than actually doing them because we want to?

“YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!” “PLEASE STOP YELLING AT ME!” I know this series is literally Thomas talking to himself, but this is a whole new level.

Every time Logan shouts from the back I'm like, oh yeah! He's here, and he's adorable.

“Roman wants me to win,” Well… I guess?

“This isn't even a real courtroom, you're sitting on the couch with your eyes closed!” This is so funny.

The wedding being Thomas’ punishment made my jaw drop. It's so smart.

“Why don't you just leave the teaching to me,” Finally.

These split screen effects are amazing. Holy crap.

“Oooh look at the little tongues!” Patton is us, once again.

“I would have been a more than worthy foil,” That's what I said.

I love how “freaking” is strong language to Virgil, yet he is one of the three who have canonically sworn before.

“Do not allow him or any of his friends to stick around that long ever again!” “I-” “Ever again! Cool?” “Cool,” This. This is the best part of the episode. I was wrong before.

“Saying something is a fact when you don't have the fact straight is dishonest,” More people need to hear that.

“Here's the thing, kiddo. People hurt all the time, by going to the wedding you are making sure two of your friends aren't hurt by the absence of someone they really care about, do you know why you're doing that? Because you can't help but put yourself in other people's shoes,” I love this message a lot. As someone who puts themself in other people's shoes all the time.

[land-of-classpects-and-analysis]

Hiya! I have an oc who happens to be a rogue of blood and I've been looking for some ideas to help flesh em out, anh chance you can give your inside to RoB?

Ohoh Anon, as someone with their own Rogue of Blood OC, this Classpect is most definitely one of the more interesting Classpects out of the bunch!

Rogues are those who, at first, invite theft of their Aspect, point-blank. There is no option to invite theft through their Aspect, as the Rogue is extremely lacking in their Aspect to the point where there is nothing to steal through. At least, not yet. Later on in their journey, they will learn that what they are truly meant to do is typically passively steal their Aspect or steal through it. In order to get to that point, though, the Rogue will have to go through quite the long and strenuous journey.

One of the most defining features of those connected to the Rogue Class is their personalities, or rather, the personalities they put on to hide their insecurities. Surprisingly enough, it is not only the Knight Class who has a facade, especially in regards to their identity and insecurities related to it. However, while the Knights often hide behind a facade for the sake of seeming either stoic and strong, or vicious and unbeatable, the Rogues are those who put on a facade to hide that they don’t actually have any real connection to their Aspect.

Rogues will talk a big game of how awesome and badass they are, often boasting about how cool their Aspect is and how they totally have a real connection to it. Whenever they are asked further questions on it, though, they’ll most likely click their tongue and remark how, well, they could do it, they just don’t want to in that moment. A Rogue will do anything if it means keeping up that facade - even if it means digging themself into a hole so immeasurably deep that they may not even be able to see all of the eyes looking down on them, waiting to see the Rogue in action. What the Rogue is trying to hide is that, not only do they lack a connection to their Aspect, but that they don’t know how to even use their powers or approach it. A Rogue will be as confident as a can be until they are finally faced with a situation that calls for them to rush into action, face their Aspect, and hone in on their powers. That is when the Rogue will often inadvertently shrink away, allowing that theft of their Aspect to take place.

The Rogue of Blood is one who would most likely brag about all of the friendships they have, all the bonds they have made, how powerful and capable of leading a group they really are. However, if they were to ever be asked to show proof of these friendships, these notches in their belt, all the people they have met, led, and bonded with, the Rogue would begin to fluster and flounder, making as many excuses as they could as to why they can’t prove this. The friends they have don’t send selfies, or they’re online, they don’t want to out someone’s love life, so on and so forth. However, due to the charismatic nature of Rogues, people would often believe and fall for these lies more often than not. Deep down in the Rogue of Blood, though, all of these lies would continue to weigh on them, even to the point of feeling as though they are drowning in a pool of their own lies.

Not only that, but because of the sly-dog the Rogue of Blood sets themself up to be, any social outings with the few friends the Rogue actually has would be extreme sources of stress for them. A friend may make a remark or comment about a nearby stranger, urging the Rogue of Blood to do their thing, even if the Rogue of Blood were to make a real attempt at talking with this person, using their charisma to the best of their ability, chances are the Rogue would get cold feet and instead scitter back to their established friend group. If they were to be asked what happened, they would most likely shrug and try to play it off as the stranger being at fault, not themself. They weren’t my type, they had lettuce in their teeth, they didn’t have a good vibe, excuses, excuses, and lies, if only so they can continue being seen as this cool and irresistible person.

Eventually, though, all of these lies would catch up to the Rogue, until one day they would be faced with a problem that would force them to make a decision: be the Rogue they are meant to be, and learn how to steal their Aspect or steal through it, or continue to live a lie until everyone finds out who they really are?

For the Rogues who step forth and accept the challenge of facing their Aspect, there will be the ones who will, of course, steal their Aspect - or rather, steal Blood. This is the route where it could become a little chaotic and perhaps even downright chaotic neutral, depending on the Rogue of Blood and their moral compass. To put it simply, they would be the ones capable of stealing away someone’s relationship with another person. However, due to the nature of Rogues and them being more drawn towards helping others than themselves, this stealing would often happen as a means of getting someone out of a rather horrible relationship. That being said, if the Rogue did want to be selfish, especially if they themself have feelings for a person already in another relationship, then they most definitely could steal that relationship away for themself.

In another way, the Rogue of Blood could also steal leadership, making themself the top dog of the group by taking it away from whoever was already in charge. Once again, though, this typically would be done because those the Rogue cares about had voiced displeasure in the current leader of the group. By taking charge of the mission, the group, the Rogue has shown themself to be more than willing to take on the weight of such responsibility, if only so that their friends have a far better chance of flourishing and being amongst a group.

Also, if you wanted to take it in a more literal and gruesome way, the Rogue of Blood could just as easily steal the literal blood of an enemy. Why any Rogue of Blood would want to do this other than to show off and intimidate their enemies is partially beyond me, but also once the Month of the Rogue comes rolling around, I would be more than happy to explore.

Then, of course, there are the Rogues who steal through their Aspect. This is a more puzzling perspective for the Rogue of Blood, but it might also raise a few hairs and send a few shivers down one’s spine. Since this answer has already been too long, and not many people like spoilers, here are a few ways in which this power may be used:

#1: The Rogue of Blood manages to band all of their friends and teammates together to steal something together. Whether it is victory or a prized item may range from group to group, but either way, this is most definitely a power heavily focused around teamwork, planning, and cooperation.

#2: The Rogue of Blood steals through literal blood, whether it is their own or another person’s is left to be determined. They could reach through puddles of blood and gore if it meant swiping up whatever item they may want.

#3: The Rogue of Blood turns themself into literal blood, or makes them become cloaked in the heart and veins of another person, wearing them as a type of puppet so that they may, once again, retrieve whatever they so desire. Both this one and the second option are both horribly disgusting, but if the Rogue of Blood senses there is no other way, then they will most likely turn towards these other options.

[444orbiter]

ATTENTION these are the signs of a psychological abuser.

If someone close to you in your life is doing the things on this list to you, then you need to cut them out of your life immediately before it’s too late.

If this list scares you or you are not sure PLEASE talk to someone, feel free to even talk to me. YOU DESERVE BETTER.

1.    Lying (by commission) : It is hard to tell if somebody is lying at the time they do it, although often the truth may be apparent later when it is too late. One way to minimize the chances of being lied to is to understand that some personality types (particularly psychopaths) are experts at the art of lying and cheating, doing it frequently, and often in subtle ways.

2.  Lying by omission: This is a subtle form of lying by withholding a significant amount of the truth. This technique is also used in propaganda.

3.  Denial: Manipulator refuses to admit that they have done something wrong.

4.   Rationalization: An excuse made by the manipulator for inappropriate behavior. Rationalization is closely related to spin.

5.   Minimization: This is a type of denial coupled with rationalization. The manipulator asserts that their behavior is not as harmful or irresponsible as someone else was suggesting, for example, saying that a taunt or insult was only a joke.

6.    Selective inattention or selective attention: Manipulator refuses to pay attention to anything that may distract from their agenda, saying things like “I don’t want to hear it”.

7.    Diversion: Manipulator not giving a straight answer to a straight question and instead being diversionary, steering the conversation onto another topic.

8.  Evasion: Similar to diversion but giving irrelevant, rambling, vague responses, weasel words.

9.    Covert intimidation: Manipulator throwing the victim onto the defensive by using veiled (subtle, indirect or implied) threats.

10.  Guilt trip: A special kind of intimidation tactic. A manipulator suggests to the conscientious victim that they do not care enough, are too selfish or have it easy. This usually results in the victim feeling bad, keeping them in a self-doubting, anxious and submissive position.

11.    Shaming: Manipulator uses sarcasm and put-downs to increase fear and self-doubt in the victim. Manipulators use this tactic to make others feel unworthy and therefore defer to them. Shaming tactics can be very subtle such as a fierce look or glance, unpleasant tone of voice, rhetorical comments, subtle sarcasm. Manipulators can make one feel ashamed for even daring to challenge them. It is an effective way to foster a sense of inadequacy in the victim.

12.    Vilifying the victim: More than any other, this tactic is a powerful means of putting the victim on the defensive while simultaneously masking the aggressive intent of the manipulator, while the manipulator falsely accuses the victim as being an abuser in response when the victim stands up for or defends themselves or their position.

13.  Playing the victim role: Manipulator portrays themself as a victim of circumstance or of someone else’s behavior in order to gain pity, sympathy or evoke compassion and thereby get something from another. Caring and conscientious people cannot stand to see anyone suffering and the manipulator often finds it easy to play on sympathy to get cooperation.

14.    Playing the servant role: Cloaking a self-serving agenda in the guise of a service to a more noble cause, for example saying they are acting in a certain way to be “obedient” to or in “service” to an authority figure or “just doing their job”.

13.    Seduction: Manipulator uses charm, praise, flattery or overtly supporting others in order to get them to lower their defenses and give their trust and loyalty to the manipulator. They will also offer help with the intent to gain trust and access to an unsuspecting victim they have charmed.

14.  Projecting the blame (blaming others): Manipulator scapegoats in often subtle, hard-to-detect ways. Often, the manipulator will project their own thinking onto the victim, making the victim look like they have done something wrong. Manipulators will also claim that the victim is the one who is at fault for believing lies that they were conned into believing, as if the victim forced the manipulator to be deceitful. All blame, except for the part that is used by the manipulator to accept false guilt, is done in order to make the victim feel guilty about making healthy choices, correct thinking and good behaviors. It is frequently used as a means of psychological and emotional manipulation and control. Manipulators lie about lying, only to re-manipulate the original, less believable story into a “more acceptable” truth that the victim will believe. Projecting lies as being the truth is another common method of control and manipulation. Manipulators love to falsely accuse the victim as “deserving to be treated that way.” They often claim that the victim is crazy and/or abusive, especially when there is evidence against the manipulator. (See Feigning, below.)

15.   Feigning innocence: Manipulator tries to suggest that any harm done was unintentional or that they did not do something that they were accused of. Manipulator may put on a look of surprise or indignation. This tactic makes the victim question their own judgment and possibly their own sanity.

16.    Feigning confusion: Manipulator tries to play dumb by pretending they do not know what the victim is talking about or is confused about an important issue brought to their attention. The manipulator intentionally confuses the victim in order for the victim to doubt their own accuracy of perception, often pointing out key elements that the manipulator intentionally included in case there is room for doubt. Sometimes manipulators will have used cohorts in advance to help back up their story.

17.   Brandishing anger: Manipulator uses anger to brandish sufficient emotional intensity and rage to shock the victim into submission. The manipulator is not actually angry, they just put on an act. They just want what they want and get “angry” when denied. Controlled anger is often used as a manipulation tactic to avoid confrontation, avoid telling the truth or to further hide intent. There are often threats used by the manipulator of going to the police, or falsely reporting abuses that the manipulator intentionally contrived to scare or intimidate the victim into submission. Blackmail and other threats of exposure are other forms of controlled anger and manipulation, especially when the victim refuses initial requests or suggestions by the manipulator. Anger is also used as a defense so the manipulator can avoid telling truths at inconvenient times or circumstances. Anger is often used as a tool or defense to ward off inquiries or suspicion. The victim becomes more focused on the anger instead of the manipulation tactic.

18.   Bandwagon effect: Manipulator comforts the victim into submission by claiming (whether true or false) that many people already have done something, and the victim should as well. These include phrases such as “Many people like you …” or “Everyone does this anyways.” Such manipulation can be seen in peer pressure situations, often occurring in scenarios where the manipulator attempts to influence the victim into trying drugs or other substances.

#alert #psychologicalabuse #relationships #lgbtq #love #help #boyfriend #girlfriend #talktome #aesthetic #nihilism #depression #rare #sad #iloveyou #abuse #abusehelp #therapy

#signal boost

#psychological abuse

#abuse

#relationship

#relationships

#love

#help

#lgbtq

#lgbtq positivity

#boyfriend

#girlfriend

#therapy

#talktome

#aesthetic

#nihilism

#depression

#abuse help

#rare

#sad

#please help

#i love you

#share

#follow

#share to save a life

[frost-skyder]

Lombun (Art Theif) Using Alts to Harass Artist

Note: This person is harassing an artist they stole from, and has done so multiple times already, and continues to threaten them. They have block-evaded by making multiple accounts, but it’s obvious it’s the same person just on writing style alone and behavior.

Hey, so the asshole I talked about in this post is at it again block evading by making new accounts to harass the original artist.

The first account they used was https://www.deviantart.com/nikoruthewolf to pretend to be a friend and to block evade when their first account was blocked.

Using this account, they left a very disgusting note: 

Then chose to make another account directly using the user’s username to harass them:

https://www.deviantart.com/fablokiiisahypocrite/art/--798762781

They are again faking being the “friend” like most people do when they can’t face problems they’ve caused. They are comparing using and crediting a base to art theft that they did, which makes no sense, and are showing that they are lombun just from the writing style alone. Here’s the screens down below in case they get banned for their behavior.

Basically they are proving that they are a scumbag, again! 

Below is the initial reason and callout I had on tumblr before they falsely accused it of a DMCA violation and art theft:

Note: The purpose of this journal is to make people aware of the situation, and to avoid the user mentioned. Please do not go out of your way to harass this person, or even contact them. Block so they don't do this to your artwork, and don't promote their behavior.

I’m doing this from a limited machine so it won’t be as thorough as most of my user warnings, but the deviant :devlombun: is heavy reffing/tracing the artwork of another artist I know. It doesn’t matter if the work is old, it’s still theft.

Original:

Traced Version:

https://www.deviantart.com/lombun/art/Mountain-Mist-AKA-Mist-or-Misty-781415012

Screenshot in case they take it down:

Literally in several areas the lines line up. It's obvious they traced parts.

They’ve done it even more after looking at their tumblr. 

Originals:

https://www.deviantart.com/fluffomaru/art/Agent-Coulson-319821181

Stolen:

https://lombun.tumblr.com/post/183087921096/lol-the-green-ones-leg-is-broken

They are absolutely blatant.

Original:

Traced Version:

Another version they just posted:

https://lombun.tumblr.com/post/183226994546/really-ruff-one-handed-sketch-you-can-even-watch

Read the description on dA. Astounding.

It's almost like...you can trace off a screen, and off your other work...or fucking heavily reference from a piece next to you.

This one is just as painfully obvious. Before I made this journal, they took it down because people commented saying what they did wasn't okay, but I saved the responses and how they treated the original artist who just said they weren't comfortable with their artwork being heavy reffed and traced. What they said and did shouldn't be swept under the rug, and I wouldn't be surprised if other pieces from their gallery are also traced from other artists.

When the artist said they were uncomfortable with their art being traced and heavily-referenced, they went on a disgusting diatribe and tried to make it about ableism, phobia, and criticize the artist for their own style.

They threw in "a learning disabled person" as if what Lokii said had anything to do with their neurodivergency. Also tried guilt-tripping by saying that their lineart is given to students their mom works with. As an educator, I'm going to point out that none of us want stolen work given to our children. We want to promote artist integrity and literally you learn in school to not plagiarize. Besides sounding like an absolutely fake scenario, it isn't something schools would tolerate if they were aware.

They also continue to use the word "trigger" like a buzzer, when the artist never referred to themself as this. They said they were uncomfortable and rightly so. Nor were they even aggressive in their comment, and Lombun chose to lash out. They also chose to compare the artist's old work to a random toy they found, when neither of them look similar to each other. Besides them looking like a horse, the drawing and the toy look nothing alike. None of it looks traced, or even referenced. The only similarity is that the toy is arranged in a similar pose, which is a common pose for toy horses.

Then went on a spiel about how they are trans, bisexual, having a bad ex, that they are a rape victim, and other bullshit that has nothing to do with their tracing. They went on an absolute rant, trying to use every single "I'm in a bad position don't expect me to be responsible for my own actions" guilt-trip, throwing people in those situations under the bus as well. I'm trans, gay, neurodivergent, and also a victim of sexual coercion but that doesn't excuse me doing terrible things if I commit them? It's almost like your identity and trauma doesn't justify being a horrible person...

Oh, not to mention the threatening about taking it to other social media to slander them, again using "Triggered Hypocrite" as if that's an acceptable term to use.

This isn't even where they ended their horrid rant.

They derail about it solely being about the pose, when it is obvious they heavily referenced and traced. I this nothing to do with the damn pose. It's the fact that they obviously copied.

The artist never alluded to owning the pose, nor was that the original issue. They continue to make it about them being personally harassed, refer to the artist as being entitled and "crying in a corner" because their art was blatantly ripped off.

The only reason the piece was taken down was because a few people were willing to point out how terrible they responded, and how obvious it was that they copied. Literally the only reason this piece is down now. I'm thoroughly disgusted by all of this. Thank you to the people who chose to speak up and notify the artist that they were being copied, and thank you to those who saw what this person said, and didn't look the other way.

The reason I'm still posting this journal despite the artwork being taken down is because of the reasons below:

1. Tried to use being trans and neurodivergent as some sort of bargaining chip and as if that somehow came into play with their tracing. Not to mention using trauma to derail why the artist was upset.

  • Being trans and neurodivergent myself, I'm absolutely disgusted by this. Don't drag all of us down by fucking using our identity and mental health as some justification of your thievery, and make us all look bad by acting as if your divergency and identity is somehow connected with how shitty you're being.

Being LGBTQ+ or neurodivergent is no fucking excuse to be a horrible person.

2. Pulled comparisons that were not connected, nor made sense to try and shame the original artist.

 • The art pieces they compared looked nothing like what they tried to compare it to, nor was it blatant tracing and heavy referencing. They compared an old art piece to a toy which literally didn't look similar at all. They also tried to use this to somehow shame the artist and make it seem as if they were the ones copying? Basically a red herring technique to distract from their behavior.

3. Threatened defamation, used ableist language, and basically lied about what the original artist said.

 • They threatened to post what happened on another site, calling the artist a "triggered hypocrite." If they are neurodivergent, or actually know what trigger means at-fucking-all, they'd know that using it in that context is extremely ableist, demeaning, and in this case not even accurate. Using that term to try to cause harm to others or shame them is inherently ableist due to what the word actually stands for, and what it has to do with PTSD, neurodivergency, mental illness, trauma, etc. Basically they were purposely being disgusting and threatening to cause this original artist harm.

This kind of behavior isn't acceptable nor should it be tolerated. Theft is already disgusting, but how they went out of their way to reach this low is absolutely stunning and despicable. I suggest that if this person tries to watch you or favorite any of your things, block them immediately. If you find out their Toyhouse or other media, I suggest blocking those too so they can't see your older art pieces or your characters. It's obvious that they show no remorse for their actions, nor care about artists.

[yoolee]

if lee wrote otome | #6 Spaghetti Hot Mess-tern (in Space)

The whole genre of Westerns is problematic at best, and I recognize that without knowing the best way to address it, and I want to at least acknowledge that before diving in here. My grandpa and I would watch them when I was little, and then college introduced me to Firefly and y’all, I’m sunk on Space Westerns, so here we go.

Premise:

At the raggedy edge of the galaxy is a planet that’s little more than rocks, dirt, rattlers and folks with nowhere else to call home. Some came to get as far from the law as they could, some ran out of money on their way to somewhere better, and some folks are just plumb crazy enough to like it. It’s where you can’t trust the lawmen to be on your side or their own, where missionaries sing from street corners and saloon girls pour you a whiskey and charge you for two. Money talks here, not that anyone’s got much of it. It’s the end of the line (maybe even yours)

Heroine:

The new sheriff in town. Or, well, planet, as the case may be. From the inner planets—far more technologically advanced, far more rightly reined in by law and order—she knew she wanted to be a part of the big picture from a young age. A promising, brilliant cadet, she was on track to be the top graduate, assigned to the cushiest position, when a test of obedience showed that she is not above taking the law into her own hands, and with her own interpretation. She’ll do whatever it takes to keep peace and order, even if it means being a little shady. There was a massive scandal, and now she’s being shuttled off to a backwater planet no one’s ever managed to keep lawful—but you can bet she’s going to. A competent, cool-tempered diplomat who believes, despite the evidence, that there’s a small dose of reason in everyone’s heart, and has made it something of a personal mission to bring those bits to the surface of the people in her new home, and such is her stubborn, creative nature, that through hook, crook, or xanatos gambit, she often succeeds. And when she doesn’t, that’s what laser guns are for.

Supporting Cast

THE DEPUTY: A trembling, timid coward. There’s just no way around it. They are paranoid and pessimistic, morosely convinced of their own ineptitude. The depth of their terror is outmatched only by the size of their heart, which is squishy and generous and so terribly large that it often gets them into trouble (or terrifying, horrible situations like facing down outlaws). It’s their heart that is filled, perhaps more than anyone else in the abandoned planet, with a veiled courage, because while every bone and drop of blood in their body hollers at them to run for the hills every time they’re called on to do their job, somehow, it always gets done, because the thing they fear most is failing the people who depend on them. Equal parts relieved that they’re finally getting a sheriff and horrified that she’s not exactly as upstanding a citizen as was expected – and that she’ll get herself killed trying to clean the place up.

SALOON OWNER: Though she’s fond of playing the damsel-in-distress, she is anything but. It just suits her to not be seen as a real threat. She is as sweet, loving, and feminine as she presents herself, but she’s also independent, rational, and when the time calls for it, absolutely ruthless with a level-headed calm in the protection of her property, business, and people of interest. She runs a tight, tidy ship so that she can afford to be charitable and generous when she chooses too, and her friendly free-spirit belies a shrewd mind for business and making deals that are inevitably skewed in her favor, and though her feistiness is dressed in a firm sophistication, make no mistake that it’s there. Luckily for town, this poised lady is steady believer in spreading the good stuff around (not the least because it keeps everyone on her side when it comes to outside threats), and she’s considered something of a motherly figure to more than a sizeable chunk of the town.

THE REGULAR: A former fighter with his heart ripped right out of him. He’s been drunk for a decade and seems determined to stay that way. He functions surprisingly well for someone who always has whiskey on his breath and in his blood, which probably has something to do with building up a tolerance. Gregarious, friendly and good-natured, he’s the town fool and he doesn’t care. He has a plan to drink himself to death and just hasn’t gotten there yet, and if he can make a few people laugh in the meantime, well, someone oughta be able to. Sober—not that you’ll ever see him as such—he’s a steel-eyed soldier who survived four years of hell strictly on the basis of skill with his weapon, and as hard as any bounty hunter in the territories.

THE MAGNATES: (also possible LI’s MAYBE)

‘Railroad’ Baron: sole control of transport around the planet - actually a decent human being, but running a rough, tough business so can’t always give into bleeding heart because it would mean going under.

Port Authority: sole spaceport on and off the planet - greedy, greedy, pays off just about everyone and since no one ELSE has any money, they’re all too eager to take what’s offered. Leader of what amounts to a bunch of space pirates that they allow to dock - and wreak havoc on nearby systems - with the excuse that no one ELSE is paying to land on this rock

Arms Dealer: cold, cold, cold as ice. Takes advantage of the desperation, limited oversight, and lack of options to build an empire out on the middle of nowhere. Works closely with Port Authority, even though all three are in uneasy alliance at best, mostly only united in keeping the sheriff out of their business.

The Mine Owner: Majority property owner of the lesser-explored reaches of the desert planet, they’re keeping it under wraps just what’s under those mountains - and what they’re making from it. Philanthropist, but slippery slippery.

Love Interests

THE POSTULANT: An aristocrat from the inner planets, stranded out in space after a bad business deal destroyed her family and they had to hide from the debtors. Ladylike, but back her into a corner and you’ll find she’s as feisty and scrappy as her brothers (the saloon’s piano player and an outlaw, respectively)—not that she’ll ever admit a day in her life that they’re related to her. She may love them, but her position in the town is precarious enough without letting it get around she’s got a drunk and a criminal as her only living kin. She hasn’t got a penny left to her name, so she falls heavily back on manners as her strongest defense, and has the elegance and propriety of any lady in town, though she longs for her spoiled, pampered life back on her home planet, and daydreams about it frequently. She has moments of clever, curious sarcasm… when she’s not being a prissy miss. (sibling to Accidental Outlaw)

THE ACCIDENTAL OUTLAW: In over his head and going downhill fast. A funny, friendly artist by nature, he got tired of being teased for his love of painting as a kid and insisted someday he’d be big, bad, and tough. Only now he’s living it, and he just wishes he could be home again with a brush and a pad of thick paper. But on the raggedy edge of space, with the gang he runs with, that’s an attitude that will get you killed. His skill with his hands has shifted from holding a brush to pulling a gun, his eye for detail keeping him alive and alert. Each day he gets a little bit harder, a little less laid-back and easy- going, but his kindness hasn’t been stomped out yet. When he can, he tries to smuggle a few credits to his sister and brother, though for their own safety they can’t claim him as a brother anymore. And sometimes, when everyone else asleep and it’s just him and his horse, he draws in the sand, and remembers what it was like. (sibling to Postulant)

THE ‘BODYGUARD’: Competent. Frighteningly, efficiently, competent and doggedly persistent. All of which, perhaps, would be admirable traits, if it weren’t for his rather (to all appearances) complete and entire lack of a moral compass. Cold to their core, utterly ruthless and unswayed by social order or cries for mercy, their cruelty is almost casual, as efficient as anything else they do, and they’ve taken lives in the name of their employer without so much as batting an eyelash. When called upon to be by that employer, they are als adaptable – able to change themself into whatever is needed: thief, an enforcer, a smuggler, a searcher, a bodyguard, a body burier or a straight out murderer. Doesn’t matter, one way or another. Perversely loyal, in their own way, but to whom and why is something only they know. Runs too cold to have any temper to speak of, and their even-keeled approach to everything can be unnerving. (works for Arms Dealer)

(may swap gender) THE SMUGGLER (idealistic outlaw): Reckless, selfless, arrogant, sly as fox and chivalrous as a knight, always ready to stand up and for those whom authority ignores or oppresses. She is clever, heroic and undaunted by the law, and, due to her talent for making frequent escapes from perilous situations, often arrogant and a little too sure of herself. She is good-natured and merry, a generous optimist at heart who would give her last credit to a hungry traveler if she so much as heard their stomach grumble. She is incredibly idealistic, and while outlaws aren’t often noted for their morals, she has hers, and sticks to them. She has a knack for disguising herself, and charisma aplenty to convince other to go along with her. When she wants something, she can come up with a plan as wild as she is, and so far, she’s had incredible luck in making them come to pass…(officially works for Port Authority, but is spiting them)

THE HOMESTEADER: Prideful, stubborn, organized—some would say obsessively so—practical and quick-tempered, a control freak who insists on doing things exactly right, in their precise way and in the proper order. Everything has a place and its place is particular, and woe to the unwary who tries (intentionally or otherwise) to disrupt that structure, particularly when it comes to their farm. Harsh, unforgiving, and abrupt as the land they live on, their mercurially tempestuous nature is somewhat legendary in town, as is their minute attention to details no one else will notice. In fact, the whole town might have written them off as an unhappy hermit, save for their habit of taking in and caring for strays no one else wants, though they’ll and grumble about it the entire time. That soft side, though, is reserved strictly for children and small animals, and those rare, few friends who sometimes get a taste of it through snarling stubbornness. Anyone stupid enough to think that those small kindnesses by a small-time farmer make for a weak target will find themselves sadly mistaken—they guards their farm and their charges with double-barrel shotgun and an aim as spot-on as their attention to detail.

THE INVENTOR: A self-taught genius, who learned from scraps and clips of lectures when the planet actually gets intergalactic service. Mostly designs weaponry, because that’s where the money is, and they’ll compromise their morals and ethics a bit if it means they can afford to buy equipment and build their dreams. Incredibly creative, prone to talking to themself as they work, able to make do with scrap parts and trash. Has a bit of a complex about the fact they never went to formal universities. Quick-tempered but also super, super easily distracted. Less reckless than they used to be since one of their inventions took off part of an arm. They learned how to make their own prosthetics/assistive devices and are constantly fiddling with them. Really just wants to be left in peace to invent but also likes to explain, at length, all of the exciting STUFF everything can do so is in constant war with themself over introverted and extroverted tendencies.

See the rest here or if that doesn’t work, from my masterlist

[wasabisarabi]

Being there even when you've proven yourself to be a legitimate enemy.

A nigga goin thru a lot right now. I wanna blame you, everyone around me does, too. But allowing those terrible pieces of you to consume me isn't going to make me the person I want to be. I can only recognize all the truths if I'm fully dedicated to being better, doing better, feeling better. It is obvious from your actions that you lost this, too. And now, it WILL NEVER be the same, if it EVER even happened again. That, you can for sure blame yourself for. Your hurt is no excuse for doing me the way you did on multiple accounts. You always showed a bit of true color when you were hurt, and I swear you just wanted it to come to this because you always begged me to stay. I hope people catch on next time you call me crazy. And I hope they're real enough to just guide you through these tribulations. You never listened when I told you they were not good, but I'm hopeful you will not have to find out the hard way one day, but instead, you will just grow into someone capable of loving themself too much for people's obvious lies, or the things you say I put you through..

I wanted to be there for you but you jaded yourself into believing that you already gave me all the courtesies I supposedly never deserved- and you know what? It's fine that you feel that way; but I allowed my life to be dragged through the dirt just so you might feel okay one day enough that you no longer felt like you needed me. I'm free from that type of manipulation now. I'm free from allowing you to destroy my mind body and soul any longer. I never said you were a bad person and I'm not even saying that now, but I never lied when I said you did the things you did, never lied on you to try and take away what little you have, never tried to make you feel wrong when you were right... I never lead you down the wrong path and I never made you do anything you didn't want to do. Anything you feel I made you do was with good reason and still took too much convincing for me to say that I'm proud we made it this far, because in those situations, you should have known it was wrong for you to push me through. It should have been over long ago. But I loved you as hard as I could until I began breaking down. I'm not looking for an apology from anyone, anywhere. I'm not looking for sorrow and woe. This is my last attempt to guide the lost before it's too late, whatever "it's too late" may constitute, as I have a feeling it was too late before it even had a chance to begin.

I feel ugly these days but I have hope beauty will come again 10x. I hope you blossom. I hope you can put your bullshit pride aside, just once, to not make me have to jump hoops just to make sure you're alright. I hope you mentally mature to your own age in the next 24hrs. You'll probably feel disgusted at ever having thrown yourself at me, yes, but you'll handle life much better and I think it may finally give me sooner peace of mind. I'm always going to wonder about you. And I'm always going to have to wonder because of this. If you ever loved me, you'd understand that you're not being very fair and you never really were. If you weren't so concerned on winning and being right, maybe things could have at least worked cordially at this point. Had it happened sooner, maybe you'd actually love me enough to not put the last of your energy into something to trivial as tarnishing my name at the point that I'm not even supposed to see your face again. I already knew better than this, and you think I'm smart, but if you never thought I was smarter than this situation, then you definitely underestimated me. I'm sorry to me for being here, where I am today, and I'm sorry to you for what's coming next because you don't leave me much choice...

I still love you but I have no choice but to let that pass now, too.