#they know how to put on a show holy shit
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god that was so fucking GOOD
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never ever will i feel comfortable w how star trek fans who love mccoy rationalize the shit he says to spock its so fucking weird and uncomfortable
#'uh bones never made fun of spocks human traits- only his vulcan traits! which is okay bc hes proud of being vulcan!'#huge news everyone its okay to make racist remarks to ur coworkers if theyre proud of being their race! huge news!!!#look i fucking love star trek and i know that by the end spock and bones have a strong friendship#but a huge part of their dynamic is bones being an ignorant and annoying coworker who spock has to put up with#they have to butt heads to learn how to stop butting heads#and in a show thats all about challenging current day stereotypes thru metaphor#of fucking course they had workplace racism as a discussion. IT WAS THE 60's???#the fucking doctor character in the pilot who later became bones was literally questioning if women should even be on the ship#his whole vibe is being kinda backwards for the times#its actually so much more uncomfortable and weird to try to downplay racism with these weird loopholes#than to just admit that a beloved character made offensive comments#holy shit
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#He’s like the embodiment of a little shit. Like look at that. Holy shit.#That there is the human version of a thorn on ones side. Whose side? Just about everyones#Fuck I love him.#I love him I love him.#It’s his show RWBY is a weird semi canon spinofff full of sidechaeacters#Should I talk about the burns on the eye thing? That I came up with all on my own but I twist to fit everything perfectly?#It would be a thing. How he hides more and more of that eye over time even though the scars show up pretty early in his life.#Anyways I want to hug him so badly. Let me put him in the backseat and take him somewhere safe please.#Let me give him the chance he wanted so badly the one he worked for the one he was denied#Fuck I have feelings. He wanted to be good he tried to be good he tried again and again ext ext you know the drill#Anywyas#roman torchwick#rwby
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holy shit, out of 43 episodes of the mentalist, and considering what a chicken i am, i had not yet had a physical reaction to any of the crimes (i admit the red john ones scared me, bc serial killers scary), but i just started 2x21 (18-5-4) and not a minute in that scene with the camera moving in front of the clown's face...chills, LITERAL chills. I felt my whole body vibrate and my blood go cold AND IM NOT EVEN SCARED OF CLOWNS
#the mentalist#the mentalist 2x21#the mentalist 18-5-4#the mentalist s2 spoilers#(yes i know the show is 16 years old but some of us havent watched it)#holy shit#like yeah. im a coward#i get scared so fucking easily#BUT I HAD NEVER HAD THAT REACTION TO ANYTHING#not even the episodes where supposedly there's ghosts#and ghosts scare me!!#generally clowns do not!!!#tho that mask is a little scary i must admit#creepy ass clown#also it's literally almost noon#its not even a scary hour#but now my stomach is in knots#lune talks#i think i'll put the volume down bc im thinking 'how am i gonna keep watching now?'#i've heard part of the anxiety is caused by the music
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i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal
#''poor teachers!!'' yeah well at least they can fucking quit & go work somewhere else#''okay but times are different than when you went to school in the 1970's'' this was 2016 my guy. shut the fuck up#''well maybe you were a violent & severely misbehaving kid!'' i wasn't. i have ADHD & severe anxiety disorder & depression#my biggest crime was being too exhausted & dopamine deprived to do my homework#my dad talks about how he was treated in school & i'm like damn dude i went through the same exact shit#how is it that a majority of teachers & principals are still abusive power-tripping pieces of shit 60 years later#why haven't things changed#well actually the answer is simple & it's because they want disabled people to disappear#& if abled students that simply disagree with the way things are done get caught in the crossfire then that is acceptable#because anyone not fit to make billionaires a billion more dollars should just die!#anyways here are my original tags from that gravity falls post i just reblogged:#I know this is supposed to be an appreciation post but like. ''for being the ''dumb one'' he's surprisingly rational.'' seriously??#as ''the dumb'' but ''surprisingly rational'' one of my family this is THEE biggest misunderstanding & it drives me up the fucking wall#just because a person struggles in one area doesn't mean they're stupid & should be an irrational dumb dumb idiot baby holy fuckkk#sorry to OP but even when people try to ''appreciate'' stuff like this they can't help but throw in insults#simply because they genuinely believe that ''even though you're stupid you SURPRISINGLY act competent sometimes'' is a compliment#I'm less mad about this & more sad that this kind of shit is still so prevalent in 2024#both Stanley & Stanford are smart & competent & rational#they just show it in different ways & exceed in different (sometimes overlapping) subjects#this is normal for human beings but the big societal scam is that if you don't do it in the way Ford does then you're stupid & a failure#& being surprised that Stan is also smart & competent in his own ways is the biggest sing that you fucking fell for it dude#btw before i get @ ed for this. i WAS that kid#i was so much that kid the school actually diagnosed me with stupid & spiteful & i was told to quit while i was ahead (they failed me befor#obviously this is very personal for me but also i don't think people realize the language they use is on purpose & it's used specifically t#& it's still happening right now & that just. makes me wanna cry honestly#like why are people still surprised that people can specialize in something despite bad grades in school#you know. the thing we all know is literally rigged to either put you in jail or in a factory to make billionaires more money.#man sorry for the rant the original spirit of the post is super correct but like fuck HS grade-centric judging of people's entire character#Stan being able to defeat Bill is just not at all surprising if you were him or knew/know someone like him#or really paid any attention at all to the show while watching it
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this jelly filled fucker has bewitched me
#adventure time#distant lands#wizard city#blood#like fr so much blood. its purple except one clean little cut blaine made so they could make some kinda stupid wizard blood sibling pact#but theres a lot of blood all over this fucking canvas#not that tumblr lets people see tags if theyve filtered the posts tags anymore. unless maybe xkit does. good ole tumblr savior used to.#digital#spader#blaine#coconteppi#dont let that fucker near these kids holy shit. get him off this canvas.#how does a nosebleed work when you dont have a nose. you tell me this now.#hes spread it all over the place like an idiot. well he is an idiot. this is known#anyways him splashing his lifeblood all over that fucking gods skull bones is very much to me watch me make something of it#right next to 'spader has lost his baby tooth and proudly shows the bloody gap to everyone in town'#does coconteppi evenhave arms??????????? hang on. we dont know. puts my head in my hands.
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Me when The Walten Files:
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#it’s so good I can’t stop gushing about this series#I’m always on the edge of my seat wondering what will happen next#I love how the creator clearly puts thought and care into each episode#the hype for episode 4 is REALL#I’ll make more posts about this series definitely soon#it made me appreciate analog horror because holy shit it REALLY can be scary#findjackwalten.com#Martin walls#I bet episode 4 will be a masterpiece since Martin is going a different direction for the show now#it’ll be more cinematic and have a slow burn#the characters are all so interesting and we barley know them at the same time#this is better than fnaf I’m saying it now#I’m so invested in the story#I love how it’s all a mystery and there are things to figure out and things yet to see#the Walten files#analog horror#unrelated
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Ryan Murphy fucking die challenge
#stop! making! dogshit! exploitative! shows! on! real! people!#he was allowed to get away with it for far too long and has become confident that what he’s doing is even slightly acceptable#it started with asylum and he’s been getting worse and worse with it since#he’s been slowly uping the level of include real people in his shows#he was so very carefully testing the waters with asylum and including Anne Frank#but in a way he could be like well it was never intended to be her (or was it)#then the next season it was the axman of New Orleans#and Marie Laveau and Delphine LaLaurie#freak show as far as I know didn’t include any and just based characters on real people instead#and then oh holy shit Hotel is where he really started fucking pushing it good god#he wanted to know just how much he could get away with#and it’s just gone down fucking hill from there#he wouldn’t really go for it again until 1984#not to that extreme anyway#Roanoke and all the goddamn cult leaders (and thankfully I think none were in apocalypse)#and then oh my goddddd#he should’ve been put down after 1984. the fucking nerve. the goddamn fucking nerve#I cannot stand this man#I allow myself to have a burning fucking hatred for one man I do not know#and it is Ryan Murphy
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kicking my feet and giggling (<- just got apologised to)
#guys i have worth??? im actually a human being deserving of basic respect and SHOULD be apologised to if i am not given that??? holy shit#ok but like i actually was pretty mad and i just wasn't going to talk to them when the weekend ended but to think they'd actually apologise#guys i am a friend worth apologising to omg this is so nice#(<- was fuming over how i was a “friend” not even worthy of her basic decency and respect an hour ago)#LIKE IM STILL MAD#okay i actually cant vaguepost to save my life but basically this girl whos a friend i recently got close to and formed a friendgroup with#shes really fucking whiny and ive been tolerating it for so long but on friday she was extremely whiny and rude whenever i just asked a#simple question#and it's really draining and humiliating to be spoken to like poop on the sidewalk in front of other people#but anyway other than that i was really upset because during pe i wanted to show her my hip injury cuz i thought it was funny#(it wasn't diagnosed yet i just felt my joints moving weirdly)#and like that involves her putting her hand on my hip#so i asked her to do that then she started whining about how she doesn't want to touch me and that i'm weird for asking ppl to touch me#then she started telling like the 3 other ppl around us i was weird and wanted ppl to touch me#then this other cool girl overheard and looked at us funny i guess cuz then the friend said 'haha now [cool girls name] is also laughing'#i was so fucking embarrassed and humiliated i still want to tear up thinking about it#like are you actually my friend wtf i don't even need enemies w a friend like you#i wanted to cry so bad then#ugh i hate it#like you couldve just said no thanks bro what is ur problem#this just made me realise how much i hate how she talks to me sometimes#and i know i need to stop surrounding myself with negative vibes in order to feel happy#but its still so frustrating#we were doing so well the other day and google meeting everyday#then this happened and then she got mad and started ignoring me on the way home#bro idk i hate ts i should just stop making friends#rant
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seeing the mario movie in like an hour letsa gooooooo
#id in alt text#i can Finally stop dodging spoilers now holy shit#i may not show it but i am a mario bros stan till i die#and i apologize in advance for the person i will become if the movie is good. its gonna do Something to my brain chemistry i just know it#like ok the sonic movie right? ive mentioned how i really liked those movies before right? well#going into it i a)had little attachment to sonic aside from just thinking hes neat and b)wouldnt have been shocked if it was bad#so when it was Good i was pleasantly surprised and found a new appreciation for the series#but mario?hes my good friend. my special little guy. the short king to rule them all. you dont know How Many hours ive put into mario games#and theres already been One bad mario movie. and this ones being made by illumination. and the whole crisp rat thing(still kinda salty btw)#idk man my guy needs a w here. he needs somethin good goin for him in the film department#and while ive been dodging spoilers what ive seen so far has been fairly positive??? but that doesnt mean i cant be worried abt it#yallre lucky im not constantly blogging my every thought here or else youd never hear the end of the same 3 thoughts about mario and luigi#smb#super mario#mario movie#capital says things#my edits
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thought id update to say; i survived opening night!!! and not only that, it went REALLY fucking well, and people seemed to REALLY REALLY like it omfg... god this is so crazy
#i was literally holding the script in a bigass binder for almost the entire show (sparing only the parts where i had to BULLFIGHT)#(bc i needed two hands -- one for the cape & one for the banderilla.)(yall i had to learn how to BULLFIGHT TANGO & SWORDFIGHT. in TWO DAYS)#but the audience said afterwards it was like i wasnt even on-book; they hardly noticed it was there??!!#yall this is my real life rn. im failing my classes but yknow what??#i can pull it together enough to emergency understudy in a highly physical show 2 days before opening even with a script ive never SEEN#and apparently we made people fucking CRY. HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT#this playwright is just. incredible. the script is INSANE. BEAUTIFUL & CLEVER & HILARIOUS & TERRIFYING & VILE & TENDER & TECHNICALLY PERFECT#and apparently our production is like. only the eighth time this show has EVER been produced. for real#but god EVERYONE should know about this playwright's work. fuck i actually think tumblr would really love her. holy shit.#maría irene fornés is her name -- she was a queer cuban-american playwright+director who made radical heartwrenching magical theatre#im so grateful to be doing this & SO fucking sad for the original performer im covering for... god. bc this is just such lifechanging work#this play is queer in EVERY sense. its off-putting loving repulsive peculiar passionate holy and GAY AS HELL. its real its farce its SO CAMP#((IRENE & SUSAN SONTAG DATED. SONTAG AS IN 'NOTES ON ''CAMP''' SONTAG. ITS FUCKING GORGEOUS.))#its gorgeous its gorey its glamourous its also literally the first part ive played that i think might truly fit my casting type exactly lmao#which is INSANE. bc the character is literally just described in the script as ''ISIDORE: an androgynous clown'' LMFAO#but honestly what could be more homoerotic than 2 ''men'' locked in a room together dancing tango+talking abt beetles+stabbing each other#hmm. maybe its the fact that after i stab the other guy i call him ''saint sebastian'' and then we LITERAL ACTUAL GAY KISS#which is crazy bc we only practiced that ONE TIME before opening#and youd think this shit cant get Any Gayer BUT. IT DOES. bc my scene partner+the director are gay+together irl... and uhh.#ive literally been their third. like. more than once.#ISNT THAT FUCKING INSANE. THIS IS MY REAL LIFE?? THIS IS MY REAL LIFE#ANYWAY#so now im headed back out to rehearse more before we perform it again tonight lmao#i hope it goes as well as it did last night#that audience was fucking incredible i really hope the next two like it as much as they did🤞🤞 knocking on wood#so. if u read this far. u should go find+read ''tango palace'' by maría irene fornés. mwah okay bye#bee speaks
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listen I may not actively have watched any airing rider since approximately the dawn of the reiwa era (sorry for being a geezer) but I am a kamen rider fan FIRST and all else SECOND I see something where characters awaken powers (bonus: powered gear) through emotions, I pog and go hoooooooly shit it’s just like kamen rider. I see someone who’s depressed still decide to fight for others I go holy shit this guy has no dreams but can still protect them. When a character has monstrous powers foisted upon them and despite it all they choose to use them for good. Despite said powers perhaps even turning them into a monster. I go hell yeah. Kamened Rider. I need you to know, this informs everything I’ve ever made or enjoyed. Ever. Ever ever.
#yknow how like for musicals they say you talk until the emotions get so high you sing#and then you sing until the emotions get so high you have to dance#for my friends who don’t kamen rider#that’s what it’s like except it’s you talk until you henshin and beat each other up#and then you beat each other up until your insert song starts playing#THIS IS WHY PROJMOON IS LIKE CRACK COCAINE TO ME WHEN THAT MILI KICKS IN ITS MAKING MY TOKUSATSU NEURONS FIRE LIKE CRAZY#this is both a kamen rider promo post and a ‘sorry I make everything kamen rider’ post#our xiv ocs? kamen rider. our projmoon ocs? kamen rider. of course#our non fandom ocs? kamened fucking rider.#ROBERTUS AWAKENING THEIR EGO AND BEING LIKE HOLY SHIT MY KAMEN RIDER MOMENT BEFORE IMMEDIATELY BECOMING THE MOTW IS STILL SO GIGGLES SMILES#TO ME. LIKE ITS ALL COMING TOGETHER#robertus is such a reiwa rider name like this bitch showed up in saber with a brunette bob and one green streak on the side#also lobcorp is personally crack cocaine to me bc i cannot deny that kamen rider ryuki did irreparable damage to me#something about a guy putting a rainbow colored cast into a timeloop bc he doesn’t know how to cope#ITS ABOUT SPEAKING THROUGH YOUR FISTS#ITS ABOUT TIGHT ASSES IN SPANDEX#ITS ABOUT PHYSICALLY MANIFESTING YOUR EMOTION#I miss kamen rider bro when are necro and I gonna fucking finish our w rewatch#not kamen rider but WHEN ARE WE GONNA FINISH DONBROS
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We need to ban non-lesbians from making lesbian characters until they can be normal about it. This shit is foul man i hate it here
#also i love how t/oh doesnt think lesbians are like progressive enough#theyll put the bi flag in the show in every episode but god forbid your only gay character have any fucking confirmation of that#cant have people KNOWING shes a gross carpet eating dyke ew#thank god that show is over. holy shit#it is steven universe 2.0 dont @ me
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absolutely beautiful holy shit
ALSO WHY WOULD YOU SAY SOMETHING SO HEARTBREAKING THIS IN THE TAGS LIKE THAT??
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My Great Grandma who loved her babies very much
Reference that I used for the face!
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#holy shit#how have you managed to just perfectly upscale her from the the show#like if you put this next to a picture of her in the show snd told me to spot the difference i couldn’t#like how is this just her#its gorgeous#also i just noticed the signature in her hair that is such a creative watermark#someone needs to write a fic of stanleys ‘funeral’ with their mother knowing somethings up
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DND IS SO FUCKING COOL
#played my first session!! my friend rlly wanted to dm a session he’s been planning for weeks so we did it!! and holy FUCK#can I. play more game pls#I made a character extremely last minute and showed up with a druid who thought we were in a Very different kind of story#he thought this was fun adventure journey of self discovery and I am going to minimise details#bc I know at least one of the other players is on tumblr#but anyway dm hits us with like children in danger and people being tortured and seeing your friends die and holy FUCK#and that changes a character!! instantly!! and it was so cool to experience that shift#like Oh this is what it feels like to be about to die#the dm was also honestly like. playing into a bunch of normal fantasy tropes and it makes you realise More how fucked they are#also as predicted playing a druid is so insanely fun#I love spellcasting actually and ALSO predictably control spells are so fun. there was a chase scene for my character specifically that#probably was Not meant to happen I just turned out to have misty step and entangle and sleep which Really helps#can’t believe I forgot about hiding with wild shape but I think that would’ve actually broken the dms plan entirely.#GOD I wanna play more dnd#this may or may not become a regular thing and I Really hope it does bc I’m obsessed with my friend’s character#and this group had such a fun vibe#will see what happens!! gonna talk to the dm abt it later#devastating that I’m now going home and won’t be able to play at all until the new year + there straight up just isn’t time before I leave#I could potentially plan a session on like. Tuesday but that would be insane and I now have greater doubts abt dming#I am truly not the same guy I was at the start of this term and I don’t know if I could do that anymore. will think abt it!#dnd tag#I was ALSO right in thinking I’d be frustrated by warlock 2 spell slots bc resource scarcity brain was chafing at 6#OH and the moral calculations I had to do in the scenario the dm put together were So interesting. you learn shit about your character#+ also yourself#ANYWAY IM DONE TYPING IF ONE OF THE OTHER PLAYERS SAW THIS NO YOU DIDNT PLS KEEP SCROLLING LOVE YOU BYE <3
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#like I feel like im screaming to the void#which is helpful but like i know people don’t follow me here because it’s my fangirl tumblr and im not super vocal about it#but holy shit im just having a very hard time this weekend#i feel very alone and wish i just wouldn’t wake up#the thought of going to work tomorrow and having to put on a fake face and a show for my kids sounds absolutely exhausting#I don’t have any friends I can go to#can’t go to fiance because I feel like im just an annoying broken record who can’t express how she’s feeling#im in the hot tub rn and just wish I could fall asleep and drown#BUT CANT say that becuase I don’t wanna get locked up for a mental health stay#I should go back to therapy but having to start all over from the beginning sounds EXHAUSTING
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