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kneelingshadowsalome · 2 years ago

Note

Hi !!!! I’m sorry if this is bothering you and if so you can totally ignore this but…

I’ve been thinking about how Ghost would react to reader gradually pulling away from him because she gained some weight and is self conscious and ashamed and doesn’t want to be seen by him, so sculpted and beautiful… but of course he’s feeling low because he wants to be close to reader and so he asks and she finally explains it to him (ready to be broken up with…)…. And I’d love to read your take on it !

You can make it female or gender neauteal I don’t really care !!!! Thank you anyway ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Wildflowers Grow in Ruins

(Ghost x F!Reader, word count: 5 k)

Summary: Reader tries to break up with Ghost because she thinks she's not good enough for him.

Tags/warnings: FLUFF, soft sensual smut 🔞, hurt/comfort, light angst, Jealous!Ghost, Soft!Ghost, self-loathing & self-body shaming. Good girl talk/praise kink. Reader is female and wears a skirt for smut plot purposes.

A/N: I hope you like this take & I hope you don't mind that I tweaked this request just a little bit!) Also: JFC I'm wordy. The "I need to explain why they're fucking!" meme comes to mind every time I write anything.

Wars are exhausting.

You know fighting for something can empower people. Fighting against something usually just depletes your strength.

But waging a war against yourself…

Now that is pure hell.

It started somewhere in your youth. You thought adulthood would take it away; that reason and tolerance would take it away. You were supposed to feel more confident in yourself, more positive about life. And for a moment, you thought you might just succeed.

But standing beside a god of war is no easy feat.

He came into your life like a walking myth, swept you away, and you only laughed as you went. It was fun at first. He was supposed to be your savior, the solution to all your problems. If a man like him found you attractive, perhaps it was the world that was crooked and not you.

But then you got soft: you started to gain pounds. Meanwhile, he became even more magnificent. It reminded you that it had all been just a dream.

Perhaps it was his eyes that seemed to worship you, that seemed to look past your every flaw. Perhaps it was the hands which never seemed to get enough of your skin. Whatever it was, it was too much. And at the same time, never enough.

The day has finally come to let him go.

You think yourself heroic. It's like it should be: it's only right that you finally release him to someone better than you.

But inside, the noble feelings twist and turn and curl around your throat and stuff your stomach full of ice - the kind they fill glasses of mojito with. The drink you'll always remember him by because he teased you about it: that you wanted an ice-cold summer drink even in the middle of winter.

Now you feel cold all over, and wish he could warm you like he used to.

You would forsake all the mojitos of the world to keep him. You would renounce the whole drink if it came to that; if you could make him yours.

But he's not yours. He never was: he was just on loan to give you a taste of what it would be like to have a man like him. That taste should be more than enough for a lifetime. You should feel grateful.

So why is it so hard to let go?

The key on the front door turns, and your heart shoots up your throat: you're supposed to settle this thing once and for all. You're supposed to let go of him today.

And still, when he arrives, you can't find the courage to say what you need to say. The words are stuck in your throat, but tears are not. He should already be a memory, but you find yourself suffocating on memories as you cry. You've learned to do even that in silence, like the rest of your suffering.

You take a few deep breaths, wipe the tears away, shove the rest of them down your throat – you save them for later, later, when he's far away and you can finally curl up and cry your heart out without no one there to look. Fucking later.

Good.

Great.

You put your heaviest armor on. It protects weak and soft flesh because you can't meet him all bare. Then you step forward with the knowledge that you’re a thoroughly wounded guerrilla while he is a seasoned, well-rested veteran. The fight is nowhere near even, but it's ok. You are not meant to be in the presence of immortals anyway.

The man looks at you warily as you finally enter the room. That haunted look has followed you for some time now as the distance between you has grown.

It should be easy, what is about to come, because he hasn't touched you in weeks. You haven't wanted him to.

Or you have… But it's not easy to have his hands on you when your body is only a vessel you hate. How can you even think about pleasure when all you think about is how it must feel for him to caress something as awful as this?

The man is a vision, and he settles for a peasant. It should be against the law, but it's not… so you figured a some time ago that you should simply find the strength and grace to do ii: do what's right.

"I need to talk to you."

Your voice comes out neutral, and it makes you more confident, if only for a second or two.

He lifts his chin: already knows what's coming, because he's not stupid. You've been shutting down for weeks, and he hasn't done much about it. But when the thunder rolls in, he doesn't flee. Probably because he fears nothing.

"Go ahead then," he says, equally as neutral, equally as icy. Got his armor on, too.

This should be easy…

It's really not, so you decide to rip the band-aid off in one yank.

"I think we should go separate ways."

The following inhale from across the room pierces the air like a bullet. You can hear his breaths gain depth and speed all the way to where you're standing.

"Ok."

It doesn't look or sound like he's ok. If anything, he looks like he's trying to process the sudden storm.

"Ok…" His eyes are on the floor as he rubs the back of his neck. Then he starts to pace around the little kitchenette you've shared for almost six months, just before you started gaining weight.

He stops to look out the window, then turns to you, and the hurt in his stare comes through like a thousand needles pushing through skin.

"Is it because of my work?"

"No."

"What is it then?"

Your breaths are getting out of hand, too. He looks like a lost, tired creature in an abandoned animal shelter for a moment, and it breaks your heart. It squeezes the organ inside a flaming fist until it shatters like it has never been nothing more than ice.

Your lip starts to tremble, and he notices, as per usual. Nothing escapes this man, except perhaps the true reason for your anguish.

"Hey. Hey."

He comes to you and hugs you like it's the only thing that matters: to comfort you when he sees you're about to cry, no matter how crushed he's feeling himself. The sudden warmth, the intimacy after weeks and weeks of pain is knee-buckling.

"Is there anything I can do to change your mind?"

His voice is soft, so soft… The tears rush forth now; there's no way of stopping them. What the hell can you even say to a question like that? That you wish he could grab a magic wand and turn you into someone gorgeous, the woman he deserves?

His embrace feels good, kind of. It also feels smothering because your self-hate makes you want to disappear from existence entirely. His eyes are equal to physical touch, a probing scan that sees every little flaw, not to talk about massive faults, the ones which make you feel like you're simply disgusting. His touch only reminds you how you must feel like to him: soft, too soft, weak.

And he must hate weakness.

"What do you need me to do? I'll do anything," he tries with a parched throat, then swallows.

It's fucking horrible. This isn't going at all like you had imagined.

"It's not about you," you struggle out of his hold, and he lets you go with reluctance. You have to basically fight your way out of a bone and steel prison. Why would he even want to hold a pathetic woman who's on the brink of ugly crying on top of everything?

"What do you mean?"

He's slightly breathless – and restless as fuck. He's usually so calm; nothing can get to him, nothing can rattle the tower of raw strength. Now you've not only pierced some invisible armor; you can hear pieces of it falling on the floor.

"Have you found someone else?"

What the…

"No." You put as much weight on that word as you possibly can. To imagine that he thinks you are cheating… Fucking cheating on someone like him. "Jesus Christ…"

He takes a deep breath and sighs deeply, sighs out relief, perhaps. Then his razor-sharp stare fixes on you again, and you can see the fear turning into something akin to concern. You suspect you have to tell him the truth, otherwise he will dig it out of you.

"I'm just…"

Jesus, this is just humiliating.

"I'm just not your type."

"What the hell are you talking about," he mutters, the impending fury giving way to momentary surprise.

He gets intense sometimes. This time, the ferocity is born of barely concealed distress. He's broad and magnificent, even in despair. He’s just so fucking fine… The perfect man, someone you had never even imagined yourself with. Pulled down to the world of puny mortals, evidently stressing about losing one.

Losing you.

"If you have someone new, you can just bloody well tell me."

"It's not that. You don't understand–"

"Try me."

"I just…" A tear escapes down your face as you finally break for him. "I'm fat. Okay? And ugly. And–"

"Stop right there."

The look on his face is just… It's priceless, you suppose.

"Bloody fucking hell…"

He looks at the floor, then runs his fingers through the short cut hair on top of his head. You've yanked those blonde strands more times than you can count, nearly every time he's been between your legs, and you miss it – you long for it, like fallen angels long for heaven.

And if there was a time this man was rendered speechless, you would say you were witnessing that moment right now. His brows knit together, then he looks up at you again with blaring disbelief.

"You're serious?"

"Yes."

"This is the reason you wanna break up?"

Ugh.

"Yes?"

His voice grows rougher with every question until it resembles thunder, and you suspect this is the commanding tone his soldiers are used to hearing.

But you're not: it's gravelly, harsh, and betrays the feeling of having been insulted. You feel even more devastated with yourself – it appears you can do nothing right.

"Where has this… idea even come to your head?"

"I don't know."

"And you never thought to ask my opinion?"

"Would you please stop yelling," you whisper and blink back some putrid tears. His mouth is snapped shut, his head pulls back just a little as he realizes what he's done.

"Sorry," he says with a half-whisper, and you catch the strain in his throat. You've never seen him cry, but now his voice is suddenly thin and frail. "I'm sorry."

He takes a step, then another, places fingertips on the counter as if to take the faintest support.

"Can I touch you?"

You don't really want him to do that, but you feel pity for the man. He's trying to find a way through this mess, and you want to help him.

"Yes," you whisper, and he immediately comes and takes you in his arms again. Hot tears disappear into his shirt, and you sniff a few times. He feels so good, so safe, even when you're about to lose him. His hold tightens around you, and the kitchen is silent; the whole world is silent. You don't know if you're being put to a grave or if you're in a deaf womb, waiting to be reborn.

"Now I don't know who's said this shite to you but ugly is the last fucking thing I'd call you," he declares above you. As if it was some bully whose fault it is that you were this way, a bully he could deal with with his fists or a gun. If only things were that easy…

"Have I said or done something? To make you feel this way?"

Then the blade is turned against himself. The man desperately searches for a culprit so he can deal with them.

"No," is the only thing you can say because it's true: he has never done a thing to make you feel like you weren't good enough; quite the contrary. But then again, he doesn't have to. It's enough that he exists and resembles a god.

"Then why do you think you're not my type?"

"Because you're so perfect," you hear yourself wail, no, cry into that shirt that smells of sweet safety and familiar musk – his scent, another thing you have missed like it's the only way to heaven.

"That for sure ain't true."

"But it is."

He seems to have the utmost difficulty in grasping what the issue here is. You can almost hear the wheels turning in his head with a rusty, laborious creak.

"Can't believe you wanna break up because of this," he finally says. You've chipped his pride, the ego that lives off of pleasing the ones he loves: the few chosen ones who he wants to give his whole life to.

"To me, you're perfect," he then says, and you simply… You stop breathing. "You're like… my dream woman. Ever thought about that?"

It can't be true, even if you vehemently, desperately want it to be. You reach out to his words like they're precious food after years of famine. Like they're sun and spring rain after being buried in the cold, dark soil whole winter.

"No…?"

"Never occurred to you that I might find you fucking beautiful?"

"Stop," you whisper, because it's too much to take in. He sounds so serious, so sincere.

"No, I don't think I will."

He pulls back a little and cups your face. Brushes away a tear, looks at you with so much love that it physically hurts; you feel like it's a lance that slowly drives through your heart.

"How about I kiss every part I love about you?"

You let out a soft little whimper. Fuck, that you want him to…

It would also be uncomfortable as hell. To try and let him love you and your body, which you have grown to loathe.

"It's gonna take all night, though. Wanna be as thorough as possible."

"Simon–"

"Love. I want you. Thought I'd made it pretty clear, but apparently I haven't. If you only knew how much–"

He sighs deeply. The man is frustrated with his shortcomings, thinks that this is all his fault. You cry a tear or two just for the sake of how absurd it all is.

"I don't want you to go. I fucking love you. Everything about you."

For the second time this afternoon, your lower lip starts to tremble as if this was some stupid, romantic movie. He can be so soft when he wants to, more romantic than the soft-spoken gentlemen in Jane Austen's novels. It doesn't even require any effort: underneath the cynical surface, there's fiery emotion, so powerful and raw that it almost bleeds out of him. Fuck… Does he even know what he's doing to you?

"I love you too," you whisper back, and the warmth that starts to bloom in his eyes is an entire sun on its own. It's hope, and you believe him, almost believe him.

"Then I'd say it's a bloody bad idea to break up."

You chuckle while few more tears push through to the surface.

"Simon…" You sigh and look back up at him, your armor falling to the floor too. "I feel like a wreck."

You allow him to see the pain, all of it. His breath is sharp as it hits him, but he still doesn't waver.

"Then let me help you."

The arms around you gain more strength, and you're crushed against a chest made of power. He tries to turn shit to gold, and threatens to succeed. You allow yourself to soften in his hold. How good it feels to be supported – no, loved.

"You don't even let me touch you anymore."

It's a filed complaint, but also heart-rending, soul-wrenching longing. You have evaded him for weeks now – hell, this shit began months ago and has escalated gradually, stealthily, until the moments together were a rarity, the space between you was full of frost; and not the crispy, happy summer drink kind.

"I thought you'd found someone else. Could've found out if that was the case in minutes, but honestly, I didn't wanna know."

Oh my God…

Has he lived with a growing suspicion and dread all these months?

That would explain why he has avoided you too…

He has allowed you to go to your supposed lover, has given you space to be alone and without too much attention. The man has shielded himself from pain.

Jesus fucking Christ.

"I'm so sorry," you say with a strained little breath. "I swear it's nothing like that. I just… I feel like a mess."

"Never seen such a gorgeous mess."

He speaks on your skin, the kiss on your forehead feels like an absolution.

Then you notice it's not only his words which try to assure you. He's growing harder by the minute against your stomach, just from a simple hug. Just from being pressed against you like this, after weeks of dry, bitter longing.

"Miss your taste," he murmurs to your skin, his voice like sand wrapped in burning velvet. "The sounds you make when you want it hard."

Oh God–

"Miss your smile when we go to shower after."

"Hmh…"

"Don't wanna live without that smile."

You don't have to.

God, you don't have to…

"How about we make a deal," he draws fingers down your chin, coaxing you to look up at him. His eyes are stripped from the cold distance that greeted you just moments ago: now they are filled with warmth that spreads to your chest and belly and bones. You drink him in like summertide.

"You come to me every time you feel bad and I'll make you feel good. Alright?"

"...Ok."

He tilts his head a little to the side, not entirely satisfied with your shy little answer.

"Come on. Make me believe it."

"It's a deal," you say with more grit to it, even if you're nearly crying again, this time from relief.

"That's my girl."

Oh fuck…

He knows exactly what strings to pull, the good girl talk being one of the things that instantly makes your legs feel like jelly.

And why does he always have to use that voice when he calls you a good girl or his girl, that sultry smoke that makes you want to swoon until he catches you and carries you to bed?

The man seems to be a mind reader as well, because he sweeps you off your feet and does exactly that: carries you to your bed which has mainly seen silent tears and painful sleep last months.

"Poor thing doesn't even know how lovely she is."

He sounds amused in the face of your darkness: sees it in full and still doesn't fear at all. He's ready to battle your demons for you, and you feel like shaking: from his touch and that voice, from the stress and loneliness that starts to release as he lays you down on the bed.

He looks so different from the man that has haunted this place for the past months, the complete opposite of the reserved soldier retreating into the shadows.

He moves to kiss you, and it's been – what? Weeks since your last kiss? And even that was only a quick peck, nothing like this… Wet, and desperate; a devouring. It makes you clench around nothingness, and you finally surrender.

No one can fake such fervor.

You try to accept it: accept the fact that even if you hate yourself, he does not. For some reason, he adores you. His breaths hit your face hot and urgent, and he can't keep his hands to himself anymore. They wander over your waist and hips, they even risk to steal a feel of your breasts, and then he groans in your mouth.

"I've missed you. Fuck, I've missed you..."

You taste notes of burning leaves; tobacco, his only weakness. You fantasize on the thought that you might be another weakness, too.

"Remember when I fucked you in my office?"

"I've missed you too," you utter softly in between the kisses that threaten to turn into a sloppy mess. "So much..."

He smiles at that, and it makes you weak, even when lying down like this.

"Yeah…?"

"You were so loud I had to put a hand over your mouth."

His voice is thick as he laughs a short chuckle. Your inner walls clench again at the sound, you throb among the warm syrup surrounding you.

"Never seen you so wet. Almost dripped all over my gear."

"It's that stupid mask you wear," you hear yourself breathe like you've just been underwater. Feel yourself throb some more, feel a burning sensation in the nether areas from the scorched desert turning wet again. You want him so much that it actually hurts down there.

"Knew you'd like it. That's why I kept it on."

If this man keeps talking, your underwear is going to be utterly ruined. And of course he does; of course he continues to pour more love in your ear.

"Everyone looked at you like you were a queen," he grunts in your ear, sounding almost… pissed.

"Don't be ridiculous," you try to form sensible words. It's only a faint breath, really, but he huffs at your modesty.

"You don't have eyes in the back of your head, love."

Wow… He is a bit pissed.

Had they checked your ass out when you visited him?

It was the first and, what you thought, the last time you got to visit him at his workplace… but you never would have guessed the reason for him not asking you to visit again would be jealousy.

"Don't worry. I put those fuckers in their place after you left."

Whoa.

Ok…

First, he had fucked you senseless in his office – a highly inappropriate move for a man in his position – then got jealous because some soldiers had checked you out as you left with his cum practically dripping from your cunt.

You put yourself in his shoes for a moment: he's had to live with thoughts of you running to some other man's arms when he's not home, and then watch you waltz around his workplace after making what was supposed to be the last effort to make him love you… When he has loved and adored you this whole time, has watched the sway of your ass with the rest of those home-deprived, horny soldiers, thinking you had fallen out of love and were on your way to go see some other guy.

Had he invited you there to try and win you back, too? By showing himself to you in all his puffed up, masculine glory? A desperate man in a skull mask, hoping to get love from you…

There's so many misunderstandings; they rip your throat. A sob escapes, and he stops his caress.

"Love… Tell me to stop if you–"

"No. No, I don't want you to stop."

Your request comes out with such demand that he hesitates only a second or two. Then he moves on top of you and tugs your skirt up. You don't even have time to realize what is happening before he has worked himself out of his pants.

He's hard and heavy between your legs, and your eyes go wide as you realize he's not going to bother to take your briefs off. He just slides a hand under the skirt and draws the fabric aside, and the fat tip of him is pushed in the middle almost clumsily. It's hot, and slips down to your opening with ease.

Oh f–

"Been jerking off to you nearly every night at the base," he says just before he pushes himself in.

"Uh–...."

Your thighs spread wide as he fills you slowly, inch after inch. The sound that leaves him is starved: a dry, painful sigh. He's been waiting for this for god knows how long, and you're just as hungry to take him in. He seems endless, the way he finally works himself fully inside, spreading you even wider as the thickening base of his cock reaches its end.

"Thought you were getting railed by someone else while I only get to fuck my hand."

"Oh god…"

There's really nothing else to say as his balls press against you, heavy and taut. He's not going to last long.

"Yeah. Imagine that," he admits, breathless like you.

You look at him with what must be the most helpless stare of longing in your eyes. Then he moves, and you want to grip him to keep him inside. The first thrusts are divine, they're pure heaven, and your head sinks deep into the pillow as you try to get enough air, try to not scream from pleasure already. Somehow, all you are able to utter is a desperate little whisper.

"Simon–"

His cock is good enough to bring tears to your eyes. You're starving too, you're pulling him in with fierce hunger, and he groans, then nearly falls forward, his weight pressing against you, swallowing you, until you feel like you're an idiot for thinking that you're too big. The thickness of his chest rubs against you as he makes love to you with passion that echoes the first times you did this.

"Just wanna adore you, love." He's panting desperate somewhere above you. A god and a man, both furious and gentle. "I wanna adore you. Just like this."

You answer him with what must be those sounds he told you about, the sounds you make when you want it hard.

You want him to fuck you, to wreck you after weeks of loneliness and hate. To love you until you break into a million pieces.

"Simon," you whisper. "...Love me."

He halts, huffs in your neck. It's almost a sob. There's so much emotion and desperation in the air that it could be scooped up and sold in the streets.

"Always," he rasps in your ear, then moves to kiss you again. "Always."

The promise echoes around you, it coats your lips as he loves you with all he has. It's been so long, and he feels so good that you nails dig into his shirt, his shoulder, you try to hold onto him even though he's the wave that rocks you.

"You feel that?" He goes deep; he's out of breath and desperate, even more desperate than you. "That's love. You feel it, yeah?"

"Yes," you sob in his shoulder, tears trying to escape your waterline as you're going dumb from the pure sensation, the sensuality of it all.

"That's it, love. That's a good girl," he turns to your neck and gruffs in your ear as you whimper and moan. "Always such a good girl."

Shit…

"I, I'm gonna…"

Your legs wrap around his middle, your muscles twitch and your hands reach and grab – they claw and yank and tug everything they can: his back, shoulders, shirt, something sturdy to keep you from drowning in a glorious orgasm.

He laughs in your neck and continues to grind you through your climax even when you're shattering, sighing, moaning, writhing under him. He just laughs, the man who never laughs: from witnessing you respond to him calling you a good girl.

Fucking bastard…

Lovable, infuriating bastard who knows you to your core.

You're an overstimulated heap by the time he comes as well, not long after you, but long enough to make you feel like you're only a tender bunch of nerves. Your legs have fallen to the side, he has open access to take what he needs: you, your love, all of it.

His whole middle goes tense as he cums, he groans and swears somewhere deep into your neck, rolls his hips over and over again like it's a must that his balls press against you with every thrust that shoot his load.

Then he falls slack, nearly collapses on top of you, reminding you of what it feels like to be small under a giant like him. You're throbbing together, you're full and fulfilled, and he is still lodged deep inside you, panting and broken in a sweat.

"Jesus Christ…"

He sounds dazed.

Relieved.

"Should've done this weeks ago."

You laugh at seeing him so done – a man in love, torn by jealous yearning, finally taking what's his. You stroke his neck, his back – it's so good to have him finally there… So close, with no barriers in between.

"I should've talked to you weeks ago..."

"Yeah. You should have."

"Are you going to punish me?" You giggle a little – the flirt is light and frees your heart further from its recent jail. He moves to look at you with all the tenderness there is. It's too much... His love is too much. But you won't run from it anymore.

"Nah. Think I'm gonna spoil you some more."

He spoils you right away with a kiss. You surrender to his treatment with happiness: happy tears, even.

The medicine to your anguish has been the exact opposite to what you had first tried, what you had originally thought. The true remedy for your sickness is mercy. Perhaps some spoiling…

And love.

#simon ghost riley #simon riley smut #simon riley fluff #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost fluff #soft simon riley #simon riley imagine #ghost x you #simon riley x you #fluff and smut #call of duty

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dreamytfw · 2 months ago

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Using one of @bardicious's tags as an excuse to nerd out about one of my favorite critiques ❤️

So late-stage SPN has a BIG problem with telling and not showing. It's ESPECIALLY bad in the Dabb-era, and Dean telling Mary that solitary was worse than Hell is THE example for this.

Let's start out by establishing that solitary confinement is a form of torture. Humans are a social species above all else and we tend to suffer A LOT of adverse effects if we're completely cut off from any and all social interaction. I am by no means an expert in this - I'm a just a nerdy information junky - so I'm going to leave a TedX talk here that describes what happens to prisoners who go through solitary confinement

youtube

I knew all of this before the episode aired, so I had no problem believing Dean when he said that being in solitary was worse than Hell. So I was genuinely shocked when most people walked away from that line going "pft, yeah right. Dean's tougher than that!"

So I went back and rewatched the scene. That's when I realized that the show does a fuck awful job at communicating what solitary confinement does to someone. Like, seriously. I would include a clip here, but I couldn't find it on youtube, so go and rewatch it again or look at a gif set if you need a refresher, I guess.

Their first mistake was breaking up the scenes of Sam and Dean in solitary. I don't know whose decision this was (probably Singer since he was director, but I don't know for sure), but it's a very bad one because it breaks up the mind-numbing tedium of solitary that the scenes should have been communicating. The first thing they do with the solitary scenes is have the anti-terrorism guy whose name I can't be bothered to look up tell Sam, Dean, and the audience that they're going to lose their minds before they get locked in. Dean counts the days with a loose screw (HAHA GET IT??? 'CAUSE HE HAS A SCREW LOOSE!! I hate you Andrew Dabb), Sam and Dean's different reactions to the prison food, them pacing their much too large for solitary cells, Sam working out a couple of times, and... that's it. Also who the FUCK decided Dean would have a razor in solitary that man would NOT have a razor jfc. A good chunk of the shots are wide shots of the cells, too, so the scenes don't even get across a sense of claustrophobia. The only thing they communicate is boredom. Probably because Singer himself was bored because he's a boring director who makes the most boring directorial choices 9 times out of 10.

I know what they were trying to do, though. They were going for that scene in that one Law and Order SVU episode where Elliot Stabler voluntarily gets locked in solitary for 3 days and starts to lose his mind from 2009.

youtube

I want y'all to pay attention to the choices made in both the SPN and SVU scenes. The solitary scenes in SPN are brightly lit with warm colors, they have a lot of wide shots, they have a guard talk when he delivers their meals, and the music wouldn't be out of place in an action movie. Hell, these whole scenes wouldn't feel out of place in an action movie.

Meanwhile, the SVU scene is dark and lit with green (green lighting isn't something that tends to occur naturally IRL, so a lot of the time green lighting in film is used to denote that something is wrong), the cell is A LOT smaller and more accurate to solitary cells in real life, the overwhelming majority of shots are TIGHT on Elliot's face to communicate the claustrophobia he's feeling, the shots that show all of the cell are shot through a grate to show how caged he feels, and the music is dissonant and off-putting with hallucination murmurs (I've had a couple of episodes of psychosis before, and SVU fucking NAILED what minor auditory hallucinations sound like). The SVU scene is shot like a horror movie.

I'd also like to look at the acting choices (or lack thereof. J2 stans, if this section bothers you, log off and go hug your pet or smth idk). imo Jared makes better choices than Jensen in the solitary scenes. Sam at least looks stressed and on edge. While Dean just... I'm sorry, but the man is blue steel-ing all over the place and it just makes him look bored and mildly annoyed 😭 Meanwhile, Chris Meloni goes from mildly bored when he first gets locked in, to actively stressed, to completely terrified by the end of the scene. This is not me saying that Chris Meloni is a better actor even though he is fuck you fight me. I don't know how many choices came down to the actors and how many came down to the directors. For all I know, Jared and Jensen would have also made similar choices to Meloni if they'd had a director who wasn't scared of doing anything interesting and could be bothered to collaborate with his actors like directors are supposed to do.

What I am saying (or trying to, at least) is that, in-universe, 6 weeks of solitary likely was worse than Hell for Sam and Dean. Like, at least Dean had some semblance of sensory input and got to interact with other people while he was being carved up. The problem is late stage SPN is incredibly lazy and can't be bothered to communicate that to its audience by showing us. Dabb and Singer just expected us to hear "you're going to lose your minds" before the solitary scenes, then hear "this was worse than Hell" after the solitary scenes, and expected us to just nod along and smile, no thoughts, head empty. Unfortunately for them, we're not stupid and SPN is a TV show, so if you don't show the audience, what you tell them is going to ring incredibly hollow. And that's exactly what happened for the overwhelming majority of fans.

TLDR: solitary confinement is torture, late stage SPN is bad at its job of showing and not telling, and we should abolish the American penal system in its entirety.

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cressthebest · 6 months ago

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Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 47

chapter 72:

1. “The day of Marlene's memorial is the first time Dorcas decides she's going to kill herself.” oh shit, oh fuck wait

2. bro dorcas is unwell. like holy shit. i forget that the war started because of dorcas’ love for marlene. like. this is just as much of a dorlene fic too

3. dear god i wanna help dorcas so badly

4. call it instinct, but i knew dorcas’ hair would be a crucial part of her healing journey 💃🏼💃🏼

5. i love well rounded female characters but at what cost. dorcas is well rounded but at what cost? she’s suffering and it hurts to read

6. god damn. finding out that dorcas’ mom was in charge of a quarterly quell is fucking insane. considering that dorcas all but ran the resistance

7. “”You said it first, didn't you? There are no good people in war. I lived by those words, did you know that? All that you were wrong about, but that…" She gives a brittle laugh. "You were right about that."”

foaming at the mouth oh my god. i wanna chomp glass

8. DORCAS NO! (she started drinking fyi)

9. dear god dorcas, you aren’t the only one who knew the “real” marlene. people other than you loved her.

10. dorcas finally admitting that if she could choose someone other than dorcas it would be lily hurts. especially since lily has mary.

11. “Marlene was the love of her life, and that's it. Simple as that. She'll never love another.” OWWWWW

12. “She will make sure Lily never knows that Dorcas looks at her now and thinks before this life, it could have been us; maybe in some other life, it is. And that's more than enough.”

DNDNSMMSJSKEJNS AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

13. brb i’m sobbing

okay i’m back. dorcas just found out marlene was gonna propose and now i’m a sniveling mess

14. so much thanks to bizzarestars making the effort to learn about the way war vets healed and dealt with ptsd

chapter 73:

1. sirius having an emotional support dog >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

2. also imma make predictions now: this is the chapter where sirius goes home. it’s time

3. YES YES YES YES THEYRE GOING HOME FUCK YEAH

4. “A homely little home with a porch-swing under the stars. Sirius is homesick for that, too.”

this is my dream too. like it’s been my dream for so long. i can’t even fathom how sirius isn’t bawling like a baby over this. IM bawling like a baby over THEIR porch swing

5. regulus saw sirius and was willing to risk it all just to hug him omg

6. “Barty was the sort of person who needed no outside guidance into being a bit insane.” LMAOOOOOO

7. they’re running a business together and they’re gonna do it forever and now i want to gnaw on wood and glass and plastic and anything i can get my hands on

8. lmao not sirius sitting like a spoiled puppy dog as james and regulus argue over him for the wedding

9. “"Oh, please," James scoffs, rolling his eyes. "One, I'm not stealing your brother away from you, and you know it. Two, who the fuck else would be my best man, hm? Who? Go on."

"Oh, you want to go there?!" Regulus shouts. "What about me? Yeah, didn't think about that, did you? My best friend is dead. Oh, and so is Barty. Who do I have, James? Hm?"”

FUCKING CACKLING

10. awwwww sirius’ compromise is so sweet omg. i’d literally cry if i was james and regulus

11. ugh gay people are so confusing. like you’re allowed to be freinds with the same people and freinds with any gender. so like, it makes wedding planning so hard. who goes on who’s side? what if i said that when i found out about gay people, my biggest hold up wasn’t religion or anything like that, but instead wedding side logistics

12. canonical genderqueer tonks!!!!!!!!!

13. regulus went to aberforth to cause a scene, and damn if he didn’t succeed

14. damn they’re both stubborn. and both got their way jfc

15. full circle. dorcas is designing their wedding clothes. i’m losing my mind, actually

16. the bookshelf. the fucking bookshelf from the first arena. i’m losing my mind oh my god

17. CACKLING OMG. REGULUS WAS WORRIED THAT JAMES WOULD BE SCARED OF THE DAGGERS, BUT INSTEAD HE GOT SO FUCKING TURNED ON OMG

18. STILL FUCKING CACKLING OMG

19. i didn’t know i needed insecure james, but oh i did

20. i get to read the crimson rivers jegulus wedding and oh my fucking god i’m losing it. i am so unbelievably happy

21. “For him, it's easiest to show love when it's a tragedy.”

dksjdjjsjdjsmdjske holy shit

22. “You're hesitating, love."”

AHDHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

23. “You might wish to know a lot of things about their wedding, and their love, but frankly, it's no one's business but theirs.” so feral over this. that’s literally one of the biggest themes of the story omg i love this

24. hi, anyways, i am so unwell

25. the authors notes about the wedding are golden

#marauders #regulus black #james potter #jegulus #sirius black #crimson rivers #james and sirius #dorcas meadowes

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boyslit-moving · 1 month ago

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ok now that i've remembered! and also gotten my adhd meds for the first time in years xD its time for

SHARK MECHANIC AU!!!!!

for @bearbait-adventures and @cryptic-ink, sorry this took forever 😭

anyway! the basic premise is of course a Sharkface Lives AU but this one has 'adopted by the chorus armies' 'close quarters rivalry with the freelancers' and 'Sharkface gets attached to his ducklings' flavors as well :)

Main plot points:

Instead of stopping and bracing, Carolina takes a leap of faith at the lake below the cliff and hopes to use the bubble shield to break their fall (instead of yknow ALL enhancements). Sharkface gets caught up in the avalanche and gets pushed off the cliff as well buttttttt..... lands in a heap, unconscious.

“Looks like the hill ate up most of that, at least,” Epsilon quips. They watch the pile of snow where ‘Sharkface’ disappeared. It’s quiet for a minute. “Think he’s dead?” Carolina makes a face at him. “I think you’d know if he was.” “Yeah, I was just fuckin’ with you, he’s knocked out from the impact.”

He wakes up in the custody of the New Republic, and Kimball wants what intel he's got. He won't talk in front of the freelancers, but he doesn't give a fuck about the mercs so he spills what he knows (which isn't much to be honest. He didn't pay much attention to anything that wasn't 'Freelancers')

Kimball needs all hands on deck so she's hoping there's other skills he has that they can put to use, if he can be trusted not to attack anyone.

Jensen drives past with a vehicle at that exact moment and they hear a loud crash and Jensen's apologies. Kimball gives a long-suffering sigh and asks if he's a mechanic. Luckily for her, he has some experience.

He gets assigned to their vehicle "bay" and starts fixing things up under the head mechanic's supervision. He's also got a second, secret job which is to prevent Jensen from test-driving or moving any vehicle by driving it lol

Everyone's pretty scared of him bc jfc did you see his face and he's ALWAYS scowling if he doesn't have a look of focus going on. But he's helpful if not congenial and to his dismay and confusion, Jensen takes a shine to him.

Palomo is worried and confused and jealous because he's told her just to call him "Shark" instead of Mr. Sharkface sir, um, Mr. Shark, I mean, uh. lol it also cuts down on the number of "s" she has to pronounce :)

He tries to confront Sharkface about 'stealing his girlfriend' that he's never asked out or even confessed to but Sharkface is like kid sit down and stop worrying. You guys are too young and I don't like girls. Palomo is like. ...oh. Sharkface is like you better hurry up and confess to her though either of you could die tomorrow.

Tucker comes by later and is like dude how the fuck did you do it. (Do what?) Get Palomo to make a fucking move instead of pining like some sort of pathetic teenager. (Aren't they teenagers?) You know what I mean dude, it was pathetic. (Just told him to step on it because one of 'em could die tomorrow.) ...shit, was that really all it took?

Jensen encourages Sharkface to join them for meals at their makeshift canteen but he usually has her bring him an MRE back to the garage and he eats it alone on a crate. Palomo now starts bugging him to join them too. And then Tucker. He's annoyed but they are wearing him down. One of these days he's going to let someone drag him by the hand to the mess hall.... 😩

Haven't written how he gets along with Lopez yet, but I suspect they'd be the sort of quiet bros who work next to each other, never say anything, but consider each other a quality friend lmao it's possible Sharkface knows spanish, but it might be funnier if he doesn't, but Lopez still takes a shine to him anyway because he 1. doesn't pretend he knows spanish 2. doesn't say weird racist/humanist shit to him 3. doesn't talk to him at all and 4. has mechanical skills on par with at least Jensen. he can't be as good as Lopez because Lopez is literally a robot

Carolina tends to avoid the garage so she doesn't inadvertently piss him off and also because Epsilon HAS to make snotty quips or he'll literally die, so she can't risk it. Wash is usually the one picking up a vehicle or checking readiness status down there, and Shark glares bloody murder at him every time he's in there even tho it scares the hoes (the other mechanics get jumpy when he's in murder mode lmfao)

Also out of his armor, Wash is 100% sharkface's type and he's SO FUCKING MAD ABOUT IT. "get out of my school" note type situation for real

Eventually this could probably become an enemies to hatefuck to ah shit I actually feel something for you situation but I just haven't written that far lol

Anyway, I'm sure there's more to plot out re: the actual timeline of the war but I wanted him to be somewhere safe and feel included :) he's one of those guys that needs people, but all his people were killed, and alone he's just going off the rails and a perfect target for manipulation *glares at Price*

ty for your interest, I've been really happy digging back into these 😊

also one last snip bc i like it

"How'd you do it?" Tucker asked, leaning on the open shell of the Warthog engine Sharkface currently had his greasy fingers in. "Do what?" he growled. Fucking stupid little cap was just out of his reach. "Get Palomo to ask Jensen out. He's been like awkwardly crushing on her for months." Sharkface gives him a weird look and shrugs. "Just reminded him they could die anytime so there's no point waiting." "Huh." There's a bit of silence in which Tucker watches him fish the piece out from where it was dropped in the assemblage. "I don't actually know if their gross weird teen nerd romance is any better than him insisting there's nothing going on, but he's not bugging me as much, so thanks." Sharkface squinted over at him. "That's what you came in here for?" "Yeah, why?" Sharkface snorts. "You guys really do just stand around and talk.” "Uh yeah?" Tucker grins. "That's kind of our whole thing, dude." Sharkface smirks back at him. "Hand me that wrench if you're gonna stand in my light."

#sir that's my emotional support shark #my writing stuff #ask game #sharkface mechanic au #ok now its finished i added a snippet lol #sharkface rvb

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juneisafantasyaddict · 2 years ago

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The writers of the SaB show seem to be pulling the exact same shit that lb did in the books. because there’s no way they think ignoring everything the grisha have been forced to endure, pretending that the darkling is the beginning and end of their issues and ravka’s, making sure alina never understands what she’s actually fighting for, etc is going to do anything except make me root for the darkling even more.

The entire second season gives me flashbacks to that insane trilogy because somehow they managed to be even worse than the books. they have alina telling the darkling that he doesn’t understand sacrifice?? really??? a man who has spent centuries of his life fighting for the betterment of his people doesn’t understand sacrifice?? the person who literally made protecting grisha his life goal doesn’t understand sacrifice??? does alina realize that the only reason she wasn’t killed the moment she was discovered was because of him?? because of the work he has done??

They had time for baghra to tell stories about her crazy family and how she killed her sister, but there was no time for her to say “this is what life was like before my son decided he was going to make it better for our kind?” if anything, they just pissed me off more because how the fuck is it possible that they are pretending the biggest issue they have is the darkling?? not the monarchy that has exploited grisha and ravka, not the fjerdans who hunt and kill grisha, not shu han who experiments on them??

Sigh, I can’t even write out my thoughts coherently because I’m so irritated by pretty much everything that happened this season. I’m irritated that instead of telling a complex story, we got this dumbed down garbage that tells us nothing, accomplishes nothing beyond “guy in black is bad.” the narrative condemns him for using merzost because he was so desperate to save his people, he tried forbidden magic, but 20 seconds later the hero is using that same forbidden power to bring her boyfriend back to life??? With zero repercussions?? I want to scream!!

If the narrative is so sure they are right, if they are so sure the darkling is wrong about everything, then why are they so afraid to expose the hero to the suffering of her people?? Let her see what they have to deal with, let her truly understand then. She has been a grisha for less than a year, and somehow she knows what’s best for them?? She doesn’t even know them. The show writers literally spent this season making her chase Mal around. Look what happened when they were going after the seawhip, two people died because she didn’t want to kill it, but they moment it went after Mal, suddenly killing it was ok. Her side of the war got attacked and instead of checking to make sure everyone was ok, including her friend’s brother who was literally about to lose his arm, she was screaming about Mal. You want to tell me about sacrifice?? She only cared about one person, and he was perfectly fine at the end. What does she know about sacrifice?? Why oh why is this fucking story just so determined to make her make all the worst possible decisions??

Incase you haven’t noticed, I haven’t talked about the crows at all, because I hate their presence in this story. They are a distraction!!! The grisha are fighting for their right to exist, Ravka is in the middle of a civil war, I do not have the time to follow the shenanigans of a group of criminals from a different country. I still don’t understand their purpose in this story, except comic relief?? 🤦🏽‍♀️

I love Alina, I really do, but jfc you cannot girl boss your way out of real solutions. They have her basically serving the monarchy and the whole time I kept thinking, if I were grisha, I wouldn’t follow her. She’s the leader of the second army but she’s wearing a first army uniform, she’s more interested in protecting the Lanstov throne than she is in protecting her people. She’s so blinded by everyone saying “the darkling is bad, the fold needs to go” she’s not stopping to say “what happens when the fold is gone?” “What happens after the war?” Because surely, she isn’t naive enough to think the people who started killing grisha as soon as they thought the darkling was gone are going to live peacefully with them now?? It took 2 seconds after the darkling died for Fjerda to send an assassin on jurda parem into ravka. Now that there’s no fold to stop them, what will stop Fjerda or Shu Han from sending an army?? Ignoring everything else the crows did, Kaz was right when he said “when they stop looking at her with gratitude, they’ll start to wonder if she hasn’t overstayed her welcome.” Which is basically what Aleksander kept saying btw, they are not going to love you for long, they are going to hate you eventually because they are afraid of what they don’t understand.

I don’t even know what the point of this was, but yeah, I guess it was a rant about how Fucking ridiculous season 2 of shadow and bone was.

#darklina #alina starkov #shadow and bone #aleksander morozova #the darkling #sab s2 spoilers #sab s2 #everyone involved in the writing of this story should have their head checked

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xf-cases-solved · 7 months ago

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S1E21: Tooms

Case: Guess who's back, back, back! Back again, again, again! Eugene Victor Tooms is back, back, back! Tell a friend!

Anyway, Tooms is back.

After being rehabilitated and made totally normal and non-cannibalistic by his psychiatrist, the Baltimore court decides that Eugene Victor Tooms is ready to leave the crazy house—where he was serving time for assaulting Scully (he was never charged with eating livers)—and is now free to rejoin society, despite Mulder's attempts to sway the court otherwise, by using his skills as an expert PowerPoint presentation maker. Tooms, of course, has every intention of finishing what he started before being apprehended, so that he can take a nice long hibernation in his bile cocoon, and Mulder has every intention of stopping him before he does. Mulder engages in some mild-to-moderate stalking behaviors; Scully tries not to kill Mulder and then herself out of pure mortification during the world's most uncomfortable slideshow presentation; a retired old cop in a wheelchair returns and makes fewer references to the Holocaust, and is slightly clairvoyant; I have a moment during the episode where I think, "Oh no, shit, wait, I think he does a gross thing here, is this where he—ah man, yep, it sure is," right as Tooms licks his fingers that are covered in roadkill juice; and, most importantly, ASSISTANT DIRECTOR WALTER SKINNER HAS ENTERED THE MFING CHAT!!!!

All rise for that big, bald, beautiful man!

Does someone die in the cold open: Ofc not, Tooms is a fully rehabilitated, mentally sound, non-homicidal freak of nature, who would never hurt a fly, because flies don't have livers. (It's entirely possible I just googled "do flies have livers"...)

Does Mulder present a slideshow: Unfortunately yeah, he does. Kinda wanted to die alongside Scully as he presented his PowerPoint presentation to the courtroom. I'm all for having the strengths of your convictions, babe, but c'mon, even you had to know that wasn't gonna work.

(^ me and scully suffering from immense secondhand embarrassment)

Does the evidence survive the investigation: Actually, yes, I believe it does. They have their findings, and the findings of the retired old cop in a wheelchair (who straight up just. had part of a victim's liver in his apartment? who let him have that?? mulder and scully are out here literally fighting for their lives just to hold onto one shred of evidence, and this hoe just takes biohazardous material with him after his retirement party and holds onto it as a keepsake of his biggest failure as a cop, smh)

Whodunit: Eugene Victor Tooms once again!

Convictions: Escalator did the justice system's work for them.

Did they solve it: I will say yes. The killings have stopped, the perpetrator is dead, they wrote a report with evidence to cite, and even though Skinner is skeptical, Smoking Man tells him he believes their take on things. It's more solved than most of their cases, anyway. WHICH REMINDS ME. There's a bit in the beginning where Scully tells Skinner that their solve rate is at 75%, which is ABOVE BUREAU STANDARDS, like????? Really FBI? The fucking *X-Files division* is doing better than the rest of your departments? And you wonder why people distrust law enforcement, jfc

[how do i determine if a case is solved? check the scale here: x]

THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: Escalators. Since 1892 [yes I looked it up], escalators have been a godsend for those of us who, for whatever reason, just don't feel like taking the gosh darn stairs. For well over one hundred years, escalators have been a convenient way for you to get around shopping malls, get to and from train platforms, crush your enemies to death with a conveyor belt, get through airports with ease, and so much more! So next time you need to get from one floor of a building or structure to another, or have someone you need to die quickly, consider using an escalator!

***

General Total Stats:

(green means stat has changed since last ep; red means new stat added to list)

Total Cases *Definitively* Solved So Far: 11 (first time they've solved two in a row for a while. must bc they're so high above bureau standards...)

Total Number of "Mulder/Scully, It's Me" Phone Calls: 1

Total Number of Times Scully Has Conveniently Not Seen Something Crucial: 5

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Been in Mortal Danger: 7 (i mean, tooms chased him through the escalator thingy with murderous intent, right?)

Total Number of Times Scully Has Been in Mortal Danger: 8

Total Number of Sexually Charged, Uncomfortably Intimate, and/or Flirty Moments Between Friendly Coworkers: 11 ("mulder, i wouldn't put myself on the line for anybody but you" 🥺 actually that whole little exchange is cute af. mulder's like "don't get in trouble bc of me," and scully is like, "don't tell me what to do, bitch, i love you," and mulder's like, "i don't know how to handle genuine compliments, so i'll just say that if you have iced tea for me i will go down on you right now, no hesitation, forget the stakeout, sit on my face" but then she only has root beer 🙁 or at least that's what i remember happening, i might be paraphrasing)

Total Number of Autopsies Scully Has Performed On Screen: 2

Total Number of Times Scully Plays Doctor: 2

Total Number of Times Mulder Talks to an Informant: 10

Total Number of Times People Making Out in a Car Are Hurt or Killed: 2

Total Number of Nosebleeds: 4

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Tasted/Sniffed/Touched Something Questionable Without Following Proper Safety Procedures: 2 (but tooms definitely did :( )

Total Number of Times Someone Says "Trust No One": 1

Total Number of Times Someone Says "I Want to Believe": 3

Total Number of Times Someone Says "The Truth is Out There": 1

Total Number of Cigarettes Cigarette Smoking Man Has Smoked: 6 (lol that stat hasn't gone up since the pilot, and then he shows up in one episode and smokes four of 'em)

Total Number of Maggie Scully Sightings: 1

Total Number of Lone Gunmen Sightings: 1

Total Number of Alex Krycek Sightings: 0 :(

Total Number of Times I Had to Look Up What State the Episode Takes Place in Even Though I Literally Just Watched It: 7½ (i remembered from squeeze, bc sometimes my memory works like how it's supposed to)

Total Number of Times I Had to Look at an Episode's Wikipedia Page to Fill This Out Because It Was Fucking Confusing and/or Too Boring for Me to Pay Attention: 5

#txf cases solved #s1e21: tooms #txf #the x-files

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slushiesandshowtunesat3am · 3 months ago

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people saying that rape is just a kink to them makes me so incredibly mad. Like how fucked up is that?

such an ugly and horrible and disgusting thing that sadly happens to way too many people. Something that can ruin someones life, damage it in such an irrevocably way. And it’s a kink to you?????

like how dare anyone even say that. It’s not like this could, in any way, be twisted into something enjoyable. There’s some kinks that weird me out (like pee kinks) where I can understand how someone could find it enjoyable because it’s not something inherently bad.

But rape/noncon is just bad. There’s nothing about it that could in any way be twisted into something that isn’t bad.

If dark writers seriously write rape fics because "it’s a kink“ then jfc, stop writing and get some help because that’s just so fucked up.

I think I really have to agree.

The ask above and the text below is a response to concern about the growing number of infantilization and dub con/non con content that is taking over certain fanfiction spaces.

I will be using tags from those spaces to spread the message and further encourage conversation, so if you do not want to see my posts, block me now

Like I said, maybe there's some underlying psycho-sexual understanding I need to be able to grasp it, but just from a point of empathy, I don't think I can understand why we're writing about this.

It's one thing to write about a form of violence, it's a complete other to seek any form of gratification, sexual or otherwise for it.

I know too many people who have suffered from form of sexual abuse or sexual violence to understand.

I remember I read a dub-con fic once, just to see if there was any form of understanding I could garner from it. I have explored kinks in terms of dominant and submissive dynamics, degradation, and power play, and although they're not something I receive much pleasure from reading, I understand that there is an art in letting go in certain sexual scenarios.

That fic was not representative of that mentality at ALL to me. It made me physically sick when I read it, angry, and although I didn't say anything to the writer because I understand that this was an issue far beyond her, I blocked her immediately and spent a months off of Tumblr to get my bearings.

I couldn't believe that we were sexualizing non-consensual and coercive dynamics, I mean, I was literally shocked. And I thought okay, some people will always lack some form of empathy and understanding for traumatic experiences -- we've seen people sexualize serial killers for fucks sake -- so there isn't much we can do but block and move on...but now it's like it's every other post in some communities and I feel like a conversation needs to be had.

I'm drawn back to an incident that occurred on TikTok months ago. There was a convicted felon, accused of murder, rape, and frequent abuse of his partners, named Wade Wilson. A video was shown of one of his court hearings and the comments were...atrocious to say the least.

I suppose he fit the "bad boy" image so many women in these comments were looking for, as they were comparing him to characters in dark romance novels they had read and explaining how they would happily be one of his victims, even vying for his release.

I do not want to see that continue. I do not want to see dynamics like this, even subconsciously, be normalized, and certainly not looked at for sexual gratification.

Thousands, if not millions, of women are victims of sexual violence and domestic abuse every year. It's quite literally an epidemic...and now we're turning around and making it into a kink?

As if victims aren't already afraid of speaking up?

Reading those comments, I couldn't help but think about the woman who finally had the courage to put that man behind bars, and how absolutely deplorable I would feel seeing those comments and realizing fellow women not only refuse to support and sympathize with me, but actively support and want to fuck the man who made my life a living hell. Because that is the type of content they choose to consume.

#x reader #jjk x reader #bnha x reader #joel miller x reader #fanfiction #writers of tumblr

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somereaderinblue · 2 years ago

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Gotham's New Stray

Gotham Menagerie Menace AU: 1 | 2

-Lila swore off the ‘sausage tails’ hairstyle but by god she’s breaking that vow if only so she could use them to strangle Marinette.

-The past month has been an absolute shitshow circus. Somehow, LB managed to defeat Hawkmoth who turned out to be Gabriel (jfc, just when she thought the asshat couldn’t sink lower) but *gasp* CN has betrayed her! Worse, Adrien is gone!

-So far, no one, not even LB herself, specified what ‘gone’ meant. Was he missing? Was he dead?? Nobody knows and it’s killing them.

-Poor Marinette is naturally heartbroken & worried sick and oh, it’s so romantic how she’s holding onto hope. Just look at the shrine she made for Adrien!

-(Lila will bet her entire Venetian Mask collection that she isn’t the only one who wants to burn the embodiment of a stalker’s delusions & entitlement to the ground.)

-Chloe was throwing money at PIs but with the Hawkmoth revelation, Andre wanted nothing to do with Gabriel, much less his son.

-Felix doesn’t believe he’s dead. Call it stubbornness, call it desperation, call it faith: Adrien was tenacious long before he got the miraculous with an animal said to have 9 lives.

-More importantly, Adrien would Cataclysm himself before betraying Paris (yes, he & the others know bcz secret IDs are bloody overrated).

-Lila, Chloe, Zoe, Nino, Nath, Marc, Felix & Luka are determined to get to the bottom of this but where do they start?

-Their first lead comes in the form of Nathalie.

-Nathalie, who tells them the instructions she gave Adrien; who also shows them the peacock & butterfly miraculous.

-When Adrien Cataclysmed his sperm donor (damn it, all of them would’ve paid to see that), Nooroo barely hid inside his miraculous in time to avoid damage. Luckily, his dormant state made it easier for Nathalie to snatch him & Duusu before LB could.

-Although very suspicious, they begrudgingly accept her help. An adult would make a better scapegoat cover anyway.

-While the others prepare to leave, Felix reaches out to his Gotham pen pal.

F: I’m coming to Gotham. D: And others say my humor is lackluster. F: I’m not kidding. D: And I’m not laughing. D: You’re also not the type to do something without reason. F: Damn right I’m not. I need your help.

-Before leaving, Nathalie tells them one last thing: she’ll hold onto the peacock (she’ll be damned if she lets another kid suffer for her mistakes), but someone has to wield the butterfly. It’s not combat-orientated but being able to empower someone in a place like Gotham? A boon they can’t waste.

Nathalie: Which one of you will accept this responsibility? Chloe: .....just to clarify, Hawkbitch was wearing that like, 24/7? Nathalie: Yes. Chloe: I love Adrien but ew, no, not it. Others: Not it! Nathaniel: Not- damn it! Lila: Twas fate.

-They could’ve sworn they saw Nathalie smile.

Meanwhile in Gotham.......

-Adrien was adapting.

-He’s found a decent building to stay in (Gotham was full of abandoned buildings), got a job at a hole-in-the-wall café & even better, the city was a fresh start for his alter ego!

-Rather than mope around, he’s more determined than ever to continue being a hero. His dad being a villain means he has more to atone for & Gotham may be a slaughterhouse but she never dictated who could play savior.

-He’s established a routine. Whenever he doesn’t have to work at the café/ run errands, he’s prowling around as Stray. He wanders around, helping wherever & whenever needed; saving a stray cat from cruel assholes with nothing better to do, stopping a mugger, befriending other kids who have it rough, he goes where there's trouble which happens to be everywhere.

-(Lots of crime means lots of work that requires lots of focus! Lots of focus means lots of time & less to be spent lingering on many repressed issues/traumas waiting to bite his ass.)

-He becomes a bit of an urban legend. Slowly but surely, he’s welcomed into the community. It’s imperfect & dirty but the slot he’s carving for himself fits him so much better than Paris’s ever did.

-Back home (...? Dare he call it that?), he’s trying his best to take care of all the kwamis. Each were unique & there was never a moment’s peace but Adrien loved them. These tiny gods gave him companionship & guidance despite what his father’s done to one of their kin.

-They try to teach him everything Fu didn’t & he’s lenient with them. His territory has more paraphernalia for their interests than his. When Adrien’s gone, they use fractions of their powers to chase away any would-be-robbers, giving Adrien’s building the ‘haunted’ status.

-Whenever someone he saves offers compensation, Stray usually asks for some food to feed himself & the kwamis.

-(They probably don’t mind giving food bcz there’s the saying abt feeding strays. But hey, him hanging around means extra protection. It’s a fair price to pay.)

-One night, while feeding a bunch of strays, he gets a visitor.

-Catwoman (he's totally not fanboying, he is.)

-Stray is surprised & a bit scared bcz shit, what if he’s done something wrong? Was he trespassing? Was he unintentionally mistreating the strays?!?!

-Catwoman was simply curious. She heard rumors of a ‘Stray’ lingering around the Narrows. She half-expected the mini menace to be some hotshot punk in over his head but-

-She knows.

-She knows how to spot the signs of abuse with a certainty as familiar as it is painful. She’s seen them all: abused animals, abused women, abused children, abused partners.

-The kit covered it with puns, cockiness & charisma but he wasn’t fooling her.

-It wasn’t just the matching theme. They clicked & before he knew it, they were sitting together on rooftops every night to feed & pamper the strays. Some nights, they sat in companionable silence; others they gossiped & bantered each other into a friendly spar.

-Maybe it was the loneliness & lack of human companionship but Stray found himself looking forward to their nightly hang outs.

-Selina knew it wasn’t her place to take him in like Batman would've; but she tried to teach him some tips before the city’s cruelty could. The first time he appears with a cut on his cheek & a split lip, she doesn’t hesitate to treat his wounds.

-Stray wouldn’t call her a maternal figure (she's neither Emilie nor Nathalie), but he comes to view her as a reliable cool older sister/aunt figure. She was nothing like LB. They were parallel lines: heading in the same direction but never intersecting.

-He’s glad that he’s made a friend.

-But some nights, when he thinks the kwamis are asleep, all of them can hear him cry for the friends & lover he never got to bid goodbye to.

To be continued

#adribat #gmm au #miraculous ladybug #adrien agreste #nathalie redemption #marinette salt #WE NEED MORE ADRIEN & SELINA CONTENT #LET THESE TWO MEET #they can have a deep meaningful relationship without it being full on mother-child from the get go #that's what development is for #they look out for each other but never look AFTER each other bcz both sides have faith in the others abilities #if that makes sense #au of an au #selina kyle

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lengthofropes · 8 months ago

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I hope this question doesn’t come off as insensitive, because I truly don’t mean it that way, but have you/your family ever thought about leaving Ukraine? Like was it ever a discussion when Russia started their attack?

If you don’t want to answer, it’s fine! Also, i know it’s not much of anything, but I do keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you. And its ok, I can answer that.

Yeah, we had a discussion. I’m pretty sure every Ukrainian family had at least one of those. But you gotta understand, it all comes to not what you’re leaving behind, but whom you’re leaving behind. Because no matter what you do your social circle will be torn either way. Every person has a right to make their own decision, and you just have to respect it.

I didn’t want to leave. My truth is I’d rather die here than leave, because my home is here, this is where I belong. And I kinda stick with this statement to this day.

My father didn’t want to leave too, and he also wasn’t allowed because he was 58 when full scale war started. He wanted to join territorial defense troops. Mom didn’t want to leave the country and nothing in this world would’ve make her leave him so… Also she couldn’t leave her mother and brother.

My sister was completely devastated cause her fiancé was in France, but she didn’t want to leave the country and she couldn’t leave us.

That all was so freaking insane when i remember it…

I also remember how our parents tried to persuade us (me and sis) to leave when the situation rapidly got worse. Jfc I even remember we agreed… and packed, and said our goodbyes… and then just… couldn’t do it…

My sister has left Ukraine in April. She was suffering from continuous panic attacks and nightmares, especially after numerous report of war crimes (r*ape and t*orture) russian soldiers commit on occupied territories. So we collectively decided she should just go and be with her loved one. That wasn’t an easy decision. Idk if you can imagine it, but seeing your sister crossing the border and knowing there’s a good chance you’ll never see her again it’s not something you deal with easily.

So uhh, yeah, now we’re like this. She visits once or twice a year, and we visit her. This year our dad turned 60 so he’s allowed to cross the border now, and he and mom went to see her in France ☺️.

Some of my friends who left and lived abroad for some time are now back. Some don’t. Some leave now.

I’m staying home. I can’t imagine starting a whole new LIFE elsewhere. Just… i cannot.

#askbox #personal shit

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ontodeathrow · 2 days ago

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NEWEST YELLOWJACKETS EP SPOILERS!!!!!!!

bro coach scott rest in peace. u were my fav and you deserved so so so much better. he was suffering so bad and when nat finally did it he looked so so happy and peaceful and that was all he wanted like almost the entire time they were in the wilderness. i knew he was gonna die since like season 2 but man his death was so sad bc he was begging for it every day. and STARVING HIMSELF SO HE WOULD JUST DIE AND THEN BEING FORCED TO EAT IN THAT WAY........ yeah god id want to be out of my misery too. he didnt deserve any of this. also tho where tf did the kids get plates and a funnel and tube?!?!?! am i crazy?!?!?!? oh and i believe he was lying about setting the cabin on fire. i dont think he did it. i think he just wanted nat to kill him so he was trying to make her mad. anyways ik the girls are a cult and they are fucked and crazy but man coach scott shouldve stayed alive and been treated good.

but him dying and the girls yelling and "singing" bc of it and then getting found bc those birders or hikers or whatever heard them and found them....he rlly was the bridge home but just......in a horrible way. but since the hikers saw his SEVERED HEAD DEAD.... AND THEM BEING CRAZY ....... i think the girls are gonna kill them honestly and refuse to go home. we already know the hikers died because when adult Shauna, Van, and Tai listened to the tape of them yelling and seeing the hikers as kids they said "the only ppl who know of this is us or they are dead" YEAH WE KNOW THEY ARENT TALKING ABOUT THEIR OLD AGE THEY DEF KILLED THEM AND STAYED IN THE FOREST. but it also has me thinking about.....HOW DID THEY GET THAT TAPE......ONE OF THE GIRLS MUST HAVE KEPT IT FOR THAT LONG?????? idk but the only person we know that kept those things for so long was Shauna 🤔.

im also thinking about....if ben just stayed alive maybe one more night............they might've gotten saved and ben couldve stayed alive but i do think it was bc the girls started yelling after eating him but idk weird to think man he literally couldve survived but idk 😭

ALSO the girls literally setting his head up as decoration as they ate him is crazy ik they are a cult but jfc this was ur goddamn coach from school. days before this he was expressing to u guys how much he cared for all of you and how he cared for all of you. coach scott i wish u just quit the team and stayed with ur bf pre-crash😭

and real tai being trapped sumwhere and evil tai like controlling everything shes doing..........BRO THATS SCARY I LOVE IT!!!!!! and the phone with no phone line and real tai saying she cant help or something i dont rlly remember rn 😭??? and the sleep thing too like real tai waking up and asking for help YEAH SHES TRAPPED SUMWHERE AND EVIL TAI IS KEEPING HER TRAPPED SOMETHING ISNT RIGHT HERE!!!!!!!

Im really wondering who is gonna die next in the adult timeline and who is gonna kill eachother bc every single time they die in the adult timeline its sum1 killing another............ hmmmmmmmm

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets spoilers #yellowjackets season 3

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notanotherdexaccount · 3 days ago

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last RB because yea. I don't think any one group or person is inherently completely evil and therefore deserves suffering of any type. I think all beings deserve kindness and to be given the things they need to thrive. I think making a person suffer doesn't actually make them better. you sound like saw or a fascist if you look at a group of people and think that their suffering will fix the world. you're just sort of wrong, imo. looking at the label cisharmful and automatically assuming that they are the same as an abuser bothers me. I've seen several beings just NOT use it that way. at all. I've not even seen it used for actual irl abuse. some use it talk about their source as an introject or fictionkin. some use it to refer to past shitty behavior (which I get bc like who has a personality disorder and somehow doesn't have outbursts or cruel breakups before getting diagnosed or realizing something is up). and even if they are a bad person, I'm not going to label them as the ultimate enemy. sorry. like maybe they could use transharmful instead but do you honestly want someone who uses cisharmful to mean like, I have caused harm in the past and have the capacity to do it again because I am not perfect and it helps me cope with OCD, to use transharmful when they don't WANT to cause harm. idfk. just spitballing. do you want recovering abusers who own up to their actions to use transharmful. idfk

no one person or small group is the ultimate evil, systems of power are. maybe it's semantics but jfc.

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kyogre-blue · 20 days ago

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Oh believe me it's WORSE (this is at the beginning of part 2, I don't think you'll care but warning you just in case) Lingsha goes "well, why don't you toss him into the sun like we do in the zhuming, there's always ways of killing the unkillable" and for hoolay the answer is "the people he hurt WANT him to suffer" but like...why didn't BLADE try that..........if it's an established practice in the zhuming........which Blade's master is arbiter-general of..............(I can't believe huaiyan is still alive jfc)

I actually really like fantasy politics, even with the xianzhou's bullshit I can just use the yarn to spin it in a way I like in my head, but their unwillingness to paint Jing Yuan in the wrong or unprepared even ONCE never fails to take the enjoyment out of it. The closest it comes is Sword Essence but since hoyo is allergic to their characters having flaws we're never going to really dig into all the ways Jing Yuan feels he has failed Yanqing. Hell, I'd take digging into the ways he feels he failed Dan Feng - I can't believe the fact that Jing Yuan was the one who had to read out the death sentence has never come up so far.

Reflecting upon it, it really says a lot that out of the hcq the one I like most is the one who accidentally created a monstruosity that killed over a thousand people.

lol

I do think politics stories can be interesting, but they're very brain intensive, and making it possible to keep track of who is who and what they all want without requiring the audience to actively keep notes on the side takes some pretty hefty skill from the author. So there's just so much room to do politics badly that it's kinda... hard to feel enthused.

But also I'm suuuuper basic in what kind of storylines I like. I like heroic stories about heroic characters where, maybe it doesn't all work out, but the sentiment and moral stance is important. What you did and felt mattered. The fact that you tried and reach out to help someone made a difference. That kind of thing. If things get too fucked up, I kind of start checking out because I don't see how any of it can be treated or resolved in a way I would find satisfying. Like Dan Feng, there's still no consensus on what actually happened, but he still used the corpse of an emanator, risking the exact consequences he got (or I guess you conspiracy theory that he was set up to a crazy degree, which instead removes the emotional weight of the story in a different way). He killed a hell of a lot of people and drove two of his friends insane. What do you even do with that? It's just "welp, guess that sucks" backstory and that's it.

I guess in a similar way, I find political plots to often devolve into the most petty and pathetic motivations, with a whole bunch of very petty and selfish people, but they have massive, sweeping consequences on a national level, and trying to resolve any of it is a micromanagement nightmare. It just feels stupid. Like Jing Yuan being accused of causing the Arbor to appear, we were there, we know he didn't, the accusations are being made by some faceless entities, so how seriously can you take any of this? And then it's resolved really quickly too, I think. I checked out of that part.

Jing Yuan in general is just... someone who is supposedly powerful, supposedly smart, supposedly morally upright, and he still can't get any shit done AT ALL. He's been serving longer than basically anyone, he should be actively outliving all potential problem makers, and yet his ship is infested with double agents, cultists, who knows what. He left Dan Heng to be raised in prison by people who hated him and sure didn't hide it (at best) and then kicked him out with basically nothing, like, he's lucky Himeko picked him up and not the actual slavers we know exist in the setting. (Dan Heng and Aventurine meet in a slave fighting pit AU, I guess)

Anyway, the Luofu is just soooo frustrating to me, I find it so unpleasant at every turn, and yet everyone completely under-reacts (imo) and we're going to be going back forever...

Kinda hoping that Amphoreus really does last the whole year and we just don't leave the entire time, so we can't be forced back to Luofu. (Well, I'm hoping that now, but who knows what Amphoreus will pull out soon enough.)

#playing hsr

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grumpycakes · 1 year ago

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SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE VOTE 2, DISASTER BOOGALOO CONT. **UPDATED

DAY 3 10/19/2023 • OOPS NO VOTE • 12 Noon EST

< Previous (Day 2)

So McHenry saunters in w the entourage, calls them to order, and the Chaplin leads in on prayer.

Chaplin’s prayer is basically “we’re over it but got grant us the compassion and wisdom to get our shit together and govern for the country, Amen” just flower-ier and less sassy.

Still hate that we gotta have a prayer before govt work but

Still gotta have them pledge allegiance

AND THEN MCHENRY IMMEDIATELY CALLS A RECESS.

So what TF happened?

Jim Jordan in a moment of clarity (and probably some shaming from his colleagues) realized he doesn’t have the votes, and won’t for a while. So he has TEMPORARILY pulled his bid for the Speakership.

In the meantime, it looks like they are working on a proposal for McHenry to take over some speakership roles for a LIMITED TIME. We won’t know how long until the proposal is made/put before congress.

This move is most likely JUST to get the budget done and agree on how much aid we’ll be sending to Ukraine and Israel. Otherwise the Government will shut down and shit will go into free fall. This covers the asses of the Republicans while still not having to pick a speaker.

It also is taxing to force them all in session DAILY for at least 2 hours to do these votes.

SOME TAKEAWAYS I’VE SEEN

We could still get a 3rd vote today depending on how fast they make up the legislation

This isn’t great for Jordan, it’s a weak move to let someone else do speaker things while you beg and bribe people to vote for you

A lot of the far rights/hardliners are mad about the move to give temporary powers. Basically advocating for making everyone stay and suffer multiple rounds of voting again (cannot fathom why when it just made McCarthy look stupid last time, unless they truly just would rather burn the govt to the ground than do anything helpful)

Reportedly McHenry doesn’t want temporary powers either rofl

While the republicans will whine and moan that the Dems should have bailed them out (either by voting present for McCarthy or by the same for the new speakership votes) it is not their job NOR DID REPUBLICANS HELP THEM AT ALL WHEN THEY HAD THIS NARROW OF A MAJORITY. And they didn’t devolve into this kind of chaos

Dems are just asking to pass budgets and aid, and are probably just stepping out of the way of this train wreck

This has never been an issue till this year (and this partisanship/far right monstrosity the Republicans have fomented)

The next speaker will most likely IMMEDIATELY reverse that dumbass rule that one person can force a vote to remove the speaker

APPARENTLY some of the republicans that did not vote for Jordan have been receiving “Credible death threats.” Over it????? JFC

Yes, since they called a session to vote, they HAD to gavel in, pray and get set up to CALL IT OFF. And that’s hilariously stupid

ADDED EDIT 8PM 10/19/2023

Lolll fuck. So Jim Jordan had a “Closed door meeting” with the rest of the republicans to work out how/if to give McHenry additional powers and CAME OUT AN HOUR LATER SAYING THERE WILL BE NO SPECIAL POWERS. HE’S GONNA GO AGAIN. (Didn’t happen today lol) They apparently were fighting over whether or not it’s LeGaL or cOnStiTuTiOnAl to give the interim speaker powers. Loll but according to McCarthy when Gaetz tried to argue they basically told him to shut up. So it sounds like some of the repubs are still mildly homicidal abt Gaetz.

But a few things,

1. It’s legal and constitutional if y’all MAKE LEGISLATION FOR IT. And you can make the legislation be like ONLY THIS ONCE CAUSE WE GOTS PROBLEMS

2. I cannot fathom why they are so down bad to embarrass themselves. This doesn’t look good, this isn’t inspiring confidence, and since no one on the repubs are willing to budge or concede for each other you’re fighting a losing battle. You have the majority, use it.

3 . This feels like weird toxic grandstanding of if you just stand your ground it’ll bend but like, it’s not HAPPENING. And people will hate you worse for fucking w the government.

4. OH AND IF YHEY PASS THIS AND DEMS JOIN IN FOR IT TO HAPPEN IS RHAT NOT A WIN FOR THE REPUBS????? That they can get ANYTHING DONE?????

McCarthy talked to reporters and said it’s the fault of Gaetz, the “Crazy 8” (really classy dude) and the dems. And that he was taken out by less than a quarter of the house. But my dude. If it was 8 of your Repubs and then ALL THE DEMOCRATS. That’s. That’s a MAJORITY OF THE HOUSE.

Jim Jordan apparently did denounce the death threats agaisnt republicans.

END ADDITION

So that’s where we are @ u @ chaos-ville. I’ll make a new post or update y’all if they do a vote today.

Next (Day 4 Vote 3) >

#speaker of the house vote #October 19 2023 #10/19/2023 #day 3 #us politics #disaster boogaloo #oops no vote

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meimeikyu · 2 years ago

Note

Do you have any Bad Sanses headcanons? If so give 👀

(its completely chill if you don't by the way /gen)

I HAVE. TOO MANY. THIS WILL BE VERY LONG! STARTING WITH SOME PREFACING; A lot of these are more fanon or my versions of the bad sanses instead of just headcanons (considering i have a dislike of a large bit of their canons) (my geno ones were kinda like this too but my geno version is much more similar to canon then my bad sanses-)

So these are more just, me ranting about my versions of them which is basically me taking them and. burying them in my headcanons and story rewrites- canon doesnt have to be real if i dont look at it /j AS WELL; For this my bad sanses will be; Nightmare, Killer, Dust, Horror, and Cross. I like having cross as a part of them, and though i like bad sanses error, i consider him more his own entitiy that would work with them sometimes! ALRIGHT! LET THE RAMBLING BEGIN!!!!! (im so sorry for how long this is-)

OK SO. I could have a whole seperate rant about how i think theyd interact and work together and how they are brought together n everything so. im gonna try to keep it to my hcs directly about them n i can do a seperate thing for that if ppl r curious (this did not stay true there r interacting bits but its mostly about them solo)

Cross

ANXIETY. thats literally all i can start it with. i think this is the most anxious man to ever exist actually. also. transmasc cross is canon to me forever <3333 ANYWAYS HOLY THIS GUY. NEEDS THERAPY. well they all do but like. he need anxiety meds or something jfc someone help him TuT. I think hed dislike killing so he would mainly do supply runs, or be the distraction on missions. Hed definately fight but hed try to avoid killing at all costs. So. transmasc cross. im going back to that i have rambles. ok i think hed have like, more round bones if that makes sense?? so hed like to wear big baggy clothes n layers to try n hide it bcs he doesnt like it. I think hed have really scarred hands from fighting, but i also think hed have an x on both of them that gaster (oml i wanna punch that bitch) left on him. thinks. i wanna hug him. i think he has older brother vibes. i have like. a way i sort these ppl by age that makes no sense but i like it. but i think cross would be older. i think hes really bad at cooking. like comicly bad. he is not allowed to cook. he tall. not tallest. but tall. i think he has one really big sword, then 2 smaller hand swords. i think hed be decently powerful, basic sans magic but i think hed be good at combat from guard training and is pretty strong. i dont have as many cross thoughts as some of the others (its bcs i cant make him suffer as much /joking) i think hed like puzzles. like picture puzzles. oh he wouldnt let ppl touch his hands except for some certain ppl (the ganggg, they r family to me <mentally ill) i think his magic would be a light purple and i think he DESPISES it and avoids using it as much as possible. he keeps a tin pocket mirror on him so he can check if his eyes r purple constantly and he freaks out if it breaks (i think itd get broken on a mission sometimes). i kinda think of him n dust as opposites with this. i think cross always has to have mirrors on him and checks them constantly whereas dust despises mirrors and has definately destroyed many. uh. i love him loving chocolate n tacos. i think hed speak spanish. this is. more than i thought i had down- anyways overall i love him but some1 get him anxiety meds please- oh also i forgor to add this until later but. i think both cross and killer would have an army of plushies.

Horror

HORRORRR!!!! THE SQUISHY!!!!! i do not like his canon but fanon horror is my lovely. I CAN NVR DECIDE ON THIS BUT TRANSFEM HORROR HAS MY HEART I CAN JUST NVR DECIDE IF I WANT MY VER TO BE SO I MIGHT SWITCH PRONOUNS LIKE. 10 TIMES LMFAO. but anyways transfem horror is amazing n i love her. horror is the tallest by far. i think of horror like a polar bear i cant decribe this any other way. i think shed have big thick bones like how polar bears have lots of fur n fat to keep heat in? i think horrortales underground would be very very cold in snowdin so her magic mutated to give her thicker bones to keep warm. despite this, i think shed still be kinda cold all the time due to lack of magic post head trauma and i think shed wear big fluffy thick clothes all the time. theyd have to be custom made bcs regular clothes wouldnt fit her. i think the others would borrow them sometimes bcs. big n warm. RUBY EYE HORROR HAS MY HEART N I HAVE LOVED IT SINCE I SAW IT!! so i have a whole little thing i imagine of horror right after eye removal barely alive crawling through a cave system n finding a gem and basically ripping it out of the wall and using it as her eye. this also means she can take it out. and she does do that to terrify people- ok so basically i think she still has a small amount of magic/eye where her eye was, and the gem basically magnifys it so shes able to see? but without the gem she cant see. i also think she gets motion sick really easily bcs of this. UGH MIGRAINES. I think shed get them a lot and theyd be well. *nightmares* (hahah). i think shed have something to put pressure on the cracked skull bit without damaging it to help when it hurts. I love horror picking at her skull/dead eye socket as a stim and i add, i think shed randomly like, lightly bite herself. she would definately have like a necklace or something to chew on as well. i love like. big soft caretaker horror yknow. i think shed like to hug n like, touch the others. and COOK!! Cooking and baking horror is my fav. i think shed have someone help her read the recipes and with small bits like when you have to pour a certain amount of liquid. i dont think shed have great vision- like fine for most things but reading is not her strongsuit. I think shed also have shakey hands. i dont think shed have great mobility in general but oh boy i think shed be strong. like. could bend a metal pole strong. very strong. She doesnt use magic for like. anything because it takes a big strain on her, but i think shed have a huge heavy axe, that looks like. funnily light weight when she uses it but anyone else trys to and they cannot pick it up. I think she would pick the others up. She would put stuff very high up and have to help the others get it if the need it- I also think shed be (i cant think of the word. hyperflexible? i think double jointed is what im looking for?) basically i think shed have very bendy joints that go far in the wrong way but its not really good for her or give her an advantage its just kinda. there. if they ever run low on supplies i think shes the first to try to take smaller portions/stop eating because she puts the others before her, and i think they would very much try to stop her from doing that.

i love when horrors brother is alive so i def think her brother n au would still be alive! her or one of the other gang members would bring them supplies. i think shed visit there a lot. i dont like thinking of any of them as trapped at the castle tbh, i just dont think the others have many other places theyd want to go. i think shed have one of those like. big long pillows ppl hug. I think shed process things slower and would talk slowly but the others would be patient. i think shed be quicker with sign language bcs i imagine her have better like. skeletons dont have muscles but. muscle memory than (i dont know what to call it? active memory? i genuinely dont know what its called but like actively thinking for something memory). shed put little tabs and like. stickers everywhere with pictures to remind her what is where. i think shed listen to audiobooks or. calm music and or happy music. I also think shed like to listen to music in languages she doesnt know bcs then she doesnt have to try and process the lyrics

(i have this specific type of music i think shed like that i call light music but. i have no way to describe it. it has to do with the instrumental not having as much sounds. i think? or it. sounding more light? i literally dont know how to describe it its the vibes. Impurities - Le sserafim is an example i can think of off the top of my head for the vibes) I. think about horror a lot. as you can tell- i love her.

Dust

OH BOY HERE COMES THE ANGST!!!! Killer n dust r the ones i like to make suffer the most so expect like. a lot of angsty stuff. they also r the ones that have the most like, me adding stuff story wise- anyways. oh boy trauma! this guy is. not okay. n i love him for it. but also omg he is not. I think dust would be the most physically weak. like just entirely. I think he would have a very damaged soul due to LV + Determination. i hc he has a combination of the 2, due to his determination to escape the resets, and i also love dust being the scientist of the group and. i think he would most definately experiment on his own soul in secret. anyways i think bcs of soul issues hed be very physically weak, and would probably entirely rely on magic for fighting, as well i think hed probably use it for things outside of it bcs of soul issues. i think hed probably teleport everywhere instead of walking except for very short distances, and i think hed sit or lean on things instead of standing most of the time. But magic wise? oh fucking boy, i think hes a powerhouse. i think the way deterimation n lv would change people is different for everyone, and for him? i think it boosted his magic through the fucking roof, but also made it very unstable. i think hed pass out from overusing it too much, and would have times where theres just so so much and he has no way to get it out. i think hed constantly be slightly in that state unless like. actively fighting. part of why hed use magic for everything. also i think his main weapon for any close up combat would be 2 long pointed bones he summons. hes definately the quietest of the group, i think he wouldnt talk much and when he does his voice is very quiet and scratchy. I also think of him as one of the older ones of the group. Him n cross r the older ones whilst horror would be a bit younger and killer would be the youngest. i think horror would be physically older than them, but cross and dust would actually be much older due to resets/overwrites.

Also i dont know what dust is but its not cis. i dont know why i just cant see any of them as cis LMFAO. anyways i feel like genderfluid dust fits for my ver. primarily he/they. hed def be the scientist of the group, i think hed have a lab somewhere in the basement of the castle and hed use it for so many things. i think hed experiment with his magic a lot, but also with permission get samples of the others and test things on it, to see how they react to things. i also feel like hed have some machine he built to extract excess magic/determination from himself. i also hc hed like painting. i dont think hed paint anything in particular, probably more abstract things but i think hed use it to distract himself during a flare up. i also think hed use some of his own magic to paint at times. both his lab and the painting room would be connected, and i think they would both be a mess- i think all his spaces would be messy tbh. just. stuff. everywhere. but he could tell you where pretty much anything is in that chaos- i also think hed react differently to healing bcs of his soul. I feel like although things would heal, theyd never heal "fully". theyd almost scar, but the would have like visible unhealed magic in them. i think if he had way too much magic it could accidently reopen them since they cant fully heal. he found that out the hard way. i also think theyd 'heal' much faster though, and with enough magic/high tension he could probably force them to close. He definately does not like to sleep. he probably has nightmares most of the time when he does. he is also very much the type of person to stay up a week straigh then collapse and sleep for 18 hours. the others do not like that he does that-

i think hed probably be more. self destructive? like hed shove the others out of the way to take a hit instead. or overuse his magic during fights when emotional. i think he thinks hes somewhat invicible, due to the weird way his magic reacts to injuries. maybe hes right. who knows. i definately think he zones out all the time, and dissociates. i also think hed have a bad sense of time. hed probably be very. twitchy? he jumps if anyone touches him or gets too close, and is probably very on edge a large majority of the time. i think hed also say random facts, just out of nowhere. i think he would have at least some medical knowledge as well, from a combination of experiment with his magic to testing the limits of what it can heal. i think he might be able to force others to 'heal' the way he does with enough magic, but itd be very hard so hed only do it if one of the gang was like. actively dieing. even then hed probably remove it to let them heal normally once they could. i think thatd just. fully reopen the wound if he removes his magic. his magic is weird. i also think hed be hot. constantly. like all of the time due to his magic. (horror constantly cold x dust constantly hot :3c) as well i think his eyelights would be brighter, but i also think hed be more sensative to light. idk why i just like that. I think hed have the typical genocide sans scar. but i also love the idea of him having like. tally marks. (not a metaphor way like literally tally marks) as a way of counting resets. i think about him so much omg. despite the fact theyd probably hate each other in canon my killer n dust are close, due to the fact they both have very similar experiences. (i could probably write a whole thing on that ngl) I think dust feels somewhat responsible for killer since i like dust as like. the older one of them. so dust would get really stressed if killer is hurt. ok i think thats all for now. im so normal about him (blatant lie)

Killer

OHH BOY THE OTHER ONE I LOVE TO TRAUMATIZE!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!! If i traumatize them more it means i like them. i promise. i just love making them cry :D Uh pangender killer will forever be canon and real to me. hes transmasc and pangender yknow. moving on. i think killer has very bad eyesite. i hc due to the (liquid hate? corrupted determination? either works tbh but i use liquid hate) anyways bcs of it it damaged his eyelight to the point he can barely see, he can mostly just see bright lights and blurred colors, and hed probably have no peripheral vision. i think this would have been a slow process, so when he first came to that castle, though his vision was slightly worse it was much better than now. (because of course he didnt tell anyone about it until it was very bad bcs. careless). i think he would have slowly been reworking his fighting style bcs of this. During fights, he uses a blindfold/bandages/literally anything to cover his eyes, blocking out any light he could see, because of how glowly magic is it would hinder him. i think instead hed relay on 'magic detection', not really like seeing the magic, but more just being able to physically feel where magic is around him, the more magic the more 'intense' it would feel. best way i can describe it is like sound. he cant see the magic but can feel what direction its coming from. i also think all types of magic would have a slightly different feel (so like hed be able to tell dream from cross). I think inks would be harder for him to detect since the easiest amount of magic to be able to detect would be souls, and well ink doesnt have one-. i think hed fight both close up and mid range, and use a combination of magic and physical objects. for physical objects hed mark them with small traces of magic so he can find them (and aim them). i think hed probably make a habit of running his hands over everything and leaving small magic trails to help map things. I think the others wouldnt know about the vision stuff until he ends up telling nightmare and eventually telling the others. nightmare would probably not let him do missions till killer had found a way to not endanger himself (by using his magic detection stuff) I also think his fighting would primarily involve protecting his soul over all else, since its extremely vulnerable with how it stays out. I think hed be a pretty all round, with good magic and decent direct physical fighting skills. i think hed have a very energetic fighting style, a lot of movement, both from him and him moving his opponents. i also hc hed be super flexible, and would probably know a lot of 'gymnast' tricks, and would do them during fights. this man would do an aerial in the middle of a fight no questions. i think hed dislike his sould. despite not really showing it, i think hed feel weird about the fact its always out. i also think hed feel weird about wearing colours that really clash with red bcs of it, so he usually sticks to the same outfit.

OK. BASELESS HEADCANON. so. i dont know why but for a long time ive had the hc that he has a prosthetic left arm. basically yknow in underverse 0.6 fight when he gets his arm broken? imagine that but. completely broken off. i imagine itd happen in a fight where he was already tired at that point, so when it happened the arm couldnt stay formed apart of him and just dusted instantly. i have this little idea of the prosthetic having like. these tubes that connect into his arm at the top? and it runs his magic through the prosthetic, so he can control it fully. itd definately take a while to get used to but after a while he can just use it like a regular arm. KILLER IS 100% YOUNGER SIBLING ENERGY! i hc him as the youngest of the group (despite still being an adult, i think hed be younger than the average sans.) I feel like killer would be very. emotional intense. I dont think of him as fully emotionless, i think hed be like. extremely (insert any emotion here really) then just. crash. and be empty. his hate would definately run a ton at that point. also i dont think he could cry. i think if he is he only crys hate, he doesnt have the ability to cry like the magic tears anymore. i do like him being very very energetic, but i feel like hed almost purposefully try to crash his emotions before very important missions? so he would be emotionless for them. of course, this probably would not end well- i think hed also probably be self destructive, doing 'dumb' but not really dumb things, just. reckless. they work. most of the time. but sometimes he gets stupidly injured because of it. and yet he will keep doing it. i think hed listen to like. a bunch of different types of music. pop, rock, random obscure song no one but him has ever heard of, you name it!! i feel like him n cross would like to watch like, legal and cop shows. idk why but it fits them to me. i think theyd watch it with like the audio descriptions for killer, and cross would definately pause it and describe other stuff it misses (side note, i have decent vision but OMFG I LOVE THE AUDIO DESCRIPTIONS? they r so cool fr) Killer would have no consistent fashion. the only common factor is they are either work outfit (his modifyed fighting outfit) or. for fun. in which case they are extremely over the top! no straight ppl fashion here (joking tone). Rainbow decora one day, extremely gothing the next, really anything as long as it looks cool, hed try it! he definately has a large wardrobe! oh also. my version cant summon his eyelights at all, the hate ate them :(

Nightmare

fINALLY!!!! MY EXTREMELY UNCANON NIGHTMARE!!! I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!!! any pronoun agender nightmare is here and real!!!! i dont like.. mean nightmare.... i like family bad sanses or bsp so... niceish nightmare? also i just call her mare n mainly default to she/her so. get used to that for this LMFAO uwahh,,, so i lov eher thats all (joking) SO. i think mares corruption has somewhat of a mind of its own, but its directly linked to her. the corruption would usually be solid but if shes very upset it will start dripping, and the tentacles will always be a telling sign of her mood- i honestly dont think shed fight that much. shed mainly stay to the side and moniter, but would intervein if anybody got very hurt or if the others were getting too intense SO. HER MAGIC :3c. I associate nightmare with water. like very intensely. and dream with fire but this isnt about dream- i imagine nightmare would have 3 main types of magic; her corruption magic ofc, emotion magic, and illusion magic. the corruption magic is tentacles, the general appearance, and the *slight* modifaction ability. i think she could make herself taller or shorter, and horrifyingly, move her bones arround indivudually- i think from when the apple event first happened, her body is basically completely destroyed, so if she was ever to be 'saved' or uncorrupted, she would die before it was even done. i think she can safely uncorrupt small parts for small amounts of time, but she never really does. i love shapeshifting nightmare, but for my ver, that isnt from her corruption magic, its illusion magic, so ill get to it in a minute :3 The emotion magic has 3 states id say, influencing, changing, and directly controlling. Influencing is just that, shifting emotions slightly, either negatively or positively (i hc dream and nightmare can both do both sides of emotion magic), or influencing them slightly towards something (making them calmer, happier, sadder, ect.) Note; this wont completely change the emotion, just shifting it slightly one way. shed probably use this one subconciously, and only does it on purpose sometimes. the influencing emotions can also be affected by her own. Next is directly changing them, which is. well what it sounds like. making someone whos panicking calm. making someone whos upset feel okay. directly changing their emotion, but without controlling it if that makes sense? if she makes someone whos panicking calm, but the thing that made them panic is still there, they can panic again. VERSUS! directly controlling, which is the strongest of the 3 states. this would be making someone sad and making them stay that way, or with any other emotion. this one can be useful during raid missions, where she can force the residents of the au to be calm and ignore it while the others get supplies. this one she only really uses on those outside the gang, or in very specific situations for the gang. the direct controling emotions is also very closely tied with her illusion magic, which i now get to explain :3c

So the illusion magic has a pretty self explanitory name, but i think theres a few different ways she would use it. 1, for personal shapeshifting, basically using illusions to make herself appear different. 2, illusions on others, which in itself has 2 main ways to use. she could use it the same way she does on herserlf, making them appear and look different, or she could do whats more like 'delusion' magic or mind control. basically her physically taking over their mind, locking them in a dreamlike state, whilst she is able to influence their body. i think shes mainly use this one on enemies, and not very often as it takes a lot of power. i think shed either have to touch them to be able to active it, or thru another way ill explain in a bit:3 i think all her magic would be closly tied to water. her illusions would have a watery ripple effect when they are put in place, the mind control causes a watery swirl in both her eye and theirs, i also think all her portals would have a watery effect, and if she ever teleports, the way she sinks into either like a wall or the floor to move has a watery ripple. I ALSO LOVE NIGHTMARE N DREAM HAVING DREAM MAGIC!!! i imagine there is sort of a pocket reality called the dreamscape, where the dreams physically are, in sort of like little bubbles. they would have different swirly colours convenying the tones of the dreams, and nightmare and dream would be able to enter dreams, or influence them from the realm (though the can have a more direct influence if they enter). I think the bubbles would all float around in this sort of endless flower field, and at the center would be the tree of feelings, except its now a stump, reflecting the tree of feelings in the real world. this place is definately neutral ground, and i think dream and nightmare would talk to each other here sometimes, even just for a minute. my versions dont actually hate each other, but more think the other hates them for what happened. (communication would solve so many multiversal issues im just saying).

ANYWAYS! I think nightmare would spend a lot of time in the dreamscape, just roaming, viewing dreams. and i feel like if you went far enough it would slowly start to bleed into showing things happening in the physical world. the dreamscape would be a lot darker in thoses areas. i imagine itd start to bleed into the void, which is why it shows that. i think nightmare goes there to moniter things when she doesnt want to be present physically. i think they could also take other people to the dream realm if they choose. I think itd be less of a physical realm though. I think dream and nightmare can enter it fully, physical bodies and all but if anyone else is brought their body stays in the regular world. oh i also imagine nightmare have water ripples around her feet when she walks. no matter if theres no water there, it just always happens. i imagine nightmare with burn scars on half of her bones (same side as the covered eye), bcs i love the idea of the villagers trying to burn her at the stake. i think nightmares bones look smooth and shiny mostly, but if you touch them you can feel the thousands of cracks and breaks and burns n ect. i also think shed feel cold to touch. also the goop would taste like rotten sour apples. i just like that idea.

i think shes able to touch people, but she has more influence if she does, so she trys to be careful when doing it. with that being said, i think shes touch starved!!!!! n i feel like her tentacles would constantly go towards wrapping themselves around the gang. i think she wears a crown, but its a new one she made herself. though she still has her original, hidden away. i LOVE the idea of nightmare having a shit tone of hobbies shes amazing at from having hundreds of years to learn things. ive nvr seen anyone else suggest this one but i hc shed make jewlerly. rings necklances brooches pins, her own crown, ect. i feel like shed make something special for each of the gang members. ALSO!! HERES WHERE THE OTHER MIND CONTROL METHOD COMES IN!!!! i hc nightmare would be very good at singing. but. siren style. i think she really enjoys singing, but usually only gets to do it in private or in the dreamscape, otherwise she risks controlling someone with it. however, i think the gang has little sound blockers shes given them, in case she ever need to use it on a mission. in addition, i think shed enjoy dancing, and can do it more because it has no risks. i think she definately knows a bunch of ancient styles lost to time. i also love the idea of her having a bunch things collected from over the years, tons of paintings, artworks, collectibles, so many things. i think a lot of them would be spread around the castle, but some special ones would be hidden in a small room only she had access to. i also think shed play a ton of instruments, but espcially violin! ALSO! BOOKS!! oml. books. she has. too many. i imagine her having a huge library. like im talking spanning multiple floors of the castle giant library. there is at least 2 secret book doors in it im sure. shed definately meticulously sort it. i think shed be very very organized. also. i bet she speaks like. 12 languages. 6 of which are completely outdated. also she wears a dress. i dont make the rules (i do, this is my version, i make them all. and she wears a dress-) i imagine itd be a very dark black, but like, basically floor length and very. regal looking. i think itd be slightly ripped up at the bottom as well. it would be very fancy. not pratical, but fancy. she doesnt do much fighting, it doesnt need to be practical- i think shed be very. other worldy- like, seem almost (for lack of a better word, delusional) to regular people. in reality she just. knows a lot but does not know how to properly convey herself in a way that seems normal, and she doesnt really care to either. also i think shed be up to date with modern tech, because nothing is funnier to me than the idea of nightmare texting the gang missions and ending it with a kaomoji (this is canon to my version because its so fucking funny to me-)

ok theres. theres probably more let me be honest but ive been writing for. like 3 hours. and this is already way more than i planned! but tysm, this was super fun to do!!! and now i finally have a shit ton of these written out!!!!! i need to. draw them sometime bcs of my design modifications. but anyways. if you actually read all of this i am. so impressed- TYSM AGAIN FOR THE ASK!!!! I LOVE THESE HC ASKS AND WILL GLADLY DO MORE :3c

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