#they just want an excuse to exclude other queer people

[queerasf4ck]

What really bothers me about the whole mspec gay and mspec lesbian debate is how quickly everyone forgets about nonbinary people because it becomes inconvenient to include us in it. Every single argument I see against it is a binary argument that claims lesbians and gays can’t be attracted to multiple genders, and everyone just conveniently forgets about nonbinary people because they immediately assume the multiple genders being talked about are binary ones. Being mspec means you’re attracted to multiple genders. It is incredibly telling when you say you hate mspec gays and lesbians and then say that lesbians and gays can be attracted to nonbinary people. I mean, you're really showing your whole ass. Either the labels lesbian and gay can be inclusive of mspec and nonbinary people, or they aren’t inclusive of either, but stop pretending nonbinary people don’t exist just because they’re inconvenient to your argument. It’s incredibly telling about how you really see us.

[washedoutwings]

hey guys!! just want to clear some stuff up when it comes to being aspec :)

recently we’ve been seeing some veeeeerrryyyyy incorrect takes, such as the following screenshot (no i didn’t blur the name, think of this as a blocklist for you)

as an arospec ace collective, we feel like we’re in a pretty good position to address this. this also isn’t the only person we’ve seen say stuff like this, but we don’t feel like hunting down other harmful takes :)

firstly, if we’re being loud it’s because we aren’t being heard.

[this is literally just how activism works, but go off ig?? -💖🐘]

secondly, who are you to comment on our struggles? we’re white, and as such we don’t pretend to understand the discrimination and struggles that poc face. we know that we have very different experiences and aren’t in a position to say what is and isn’t a struggle for them.

as for these struggles, parents maybe wanting grandkids is nothing. we are excluded from queer spaces for being too straight and not queer enough. we’re discriminated against by allo cishet people because we’re too gay and weird and immoral. when we create our own spaces we are told that we don’t deserve them. our only community is each other, and even then it’s filled with infighting because we’re all being told that we don’t belong anywhere.

we are told that we are fucked in the head, belong in a psych ward, are just trying to get attention, shouldn’t be allowed around people, are sociopaths/psychopaths (which is also ableist), are just naive/immature/ugly, just need an excuse for not getting laid, and are predators. these are literally all things that we (this collective) have been called personally.

we can’t talk about it in therapy or to doctors because now that’s the problem that needs to be fixed and we need to unpack the trauma that caused it. they are literally trying to tell us that our orientation is not real and is actually a problem or disorder that needs to be solved and changed. that is literal fucking conversion therapy

and we sincerely doubt that many aspec people would struggle with dealing with even worse aphobes because we do anyways. daily. from our family, our community, our healthcare, coworkers, classmates, and just about everyone else we interact with.

userboxes by @/inhumanliquid i think

[olderthannetfic]

So we're all sick of antis using asexuality as an excuse to censor sexual art and expression. But I'm also getting sick of everyone going "but lots of aces enjoy and/or write porn!" in response. We all know this is true, and it's important to not send a message to those aces types that they're doing ace wrong.

But at the same tim, we can do better for the aces who don't like smutty fanfic. Instead of telling the antis that plenty of aces don't fit their narrative, straight up tell them to stop weaponizing asexuality.

Aces who are squicked out by E rated fic exist and deserve support and respect as asexuals. When we see idiots going "this identity exists, therefore stop making art" the reasonable response is "stop being a dick" not to erase and ignore the very identity they're coopting.

We cannot allow trolls, bigots, and fundies to appropriate one queer identity in order to silence other queer identities. We cannot let them split the queer community yet again over something as dumb as the fact that some people don't like horny fanfic.

The antis who go "think of the aces!" are infantilizing and removing agency from responsible adults who filter their fandom experience to their preferences. The correct response is not to go "anyone who is squicked by sex scenes is a meany, real aces write kinky fic" but to go "stop infantilizing our fellow queers, we all know how to use an exclude filter".

Anyone who is squicked out by E rated fic on AO3 can just filter it out, no matter the reason for their squick. Every single ace I've met who doesn't want to read horny fanfic simply filters it out without making a big concern trolling stink about how it shouldn't exist. These people should be respected, not erased, when some jackass tries to pretend that you have to write less gay sex fic in order to "protect" someone who already filtered it out.

It's the same exact thing as when they go "think of survivors!" when they tell you not to write certain ships or dynamics. Yes, many survivors are the ones writing that ship in the first place, but many others are uncomfortable with the ship and just filter it out.

Note that in nine times out of ten, the anti pitching the temper trantum is neither asexual nor a trauma survivor, they're just using a convenient demographic to shame people out of making art.

--

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

devils dont fly as andromeda tonks

bye

um

i cant take this seriously.

basicallyyy this song is very loss anger love helplessness and like what is andromeda black if not that right haha. so here's a random ass lyrical breakdown.

i heard the angels call again

the black family as the 'angels' of course. we know they canonically had a inflated sense of self, since no one really gives a fuck about the sacred 28 but they acted 'like royalty' (according to sirius). also, the purity aspect of it. she doesn't associate herself with them anymore, so it's 'the angels' - it's a them, like she's different.

i threw myself a party, chardonnay and oxy

grr she's an alcoholic and druggie. sorry. she didn't have support, i don't know what friends or anything she'd have excluding ted. she lost her sisters, her family, her name - she drinks to forget.

i stopped the screams inside my head

mentally ill queen purr

they say it's not the answer but i can't carry on

she's tired!! she can't go on with this!! it's hard!! it's not an answer to any of her problems and it's eating her alive but what can she do

'cause i got nowhere, no one, without you boy i'm done

she only really has ted right now. she doesn't have a place or a family without him/

and just because i fight don't mean that i never learned how to love

AHH okay. black family = toxic love. she knows how to love - she grew up spoiled and pampered. that being said, it's not the kind of love she wants to continue on with. she doesn't want to take food off of her daughter's plate or scream at her husband because 'it's for their betterment'. it comes off as fighting, as needlessly argumentative. so she leans into it - she fights, teeth bared.

you know devils don't fly (fly, fly)

she's the devil, now. she's tainted - no longer the pure girl she grew up as, she's fallen from grace by marrying a muggleborn, she won't be able to fit into the same societies she once did.

but i got chains and you got wings

queer andromeda queer andromeda queer andromeda

she's chained down by who she loves, it's not like she can help it. her sisters fell in love with people who wouldn't bring them shame, but she didn't. she fell in love with something that leaves her dirty.

you know that life ain't fair sometimes

self explanatory.

what's a girl to do when she's not strong

she's not strong anymore - she's an addict, she's depressed. she's lonely, what can she do?

when everyone that holds my hand gets cut from all the thorns

she fights with ted. she fights with nymphadora (or tonks, as she prefers to go by). she fought with narcissa and bellatrix. she's marked by her family, and instead of repressing it she spits venom - she goes for the kill, where she knows it hurts. they're trying to help, in what way they know, at least, but she doesn't need help. she doesn't want it. she needs a shoulder to cry on.

i used to put my ear against the wall to hear the screams, to hear the fall more reasons to escape it all

self explanatory. she's heard her parents' fights turn into her sisters' fights and she wanted to leave leave leave

and it's not the answer but i can't carry on i give my best smile, my last dime but i always get it wrong

self explanatory.

it's not 'cause i'm young or from a broken home

excuses, excuses. people tell her she's sad because of x and y. the bigger problem is>

maybe i just fight 'cause i don't know where i belong

<she's lonely!! she doesn't know where she belongs, she feels like a beginner in a master class as she's navigating life, it's new and scary and she doesn't know how to explain it.

angels were never meant to fall and you were the loveliest of all

narcissa @ andromeda or andromeda @ bellatrix . figure it out.

if i thought god could fix it i'd pray for your forgiveness but i've been cast down, thrown out when i crossed to the other side

QUEER ANDROMEDA 🫵🏼

rip

bye

this was fun

[sigmas-split-hair]

rant but honestly what happened to wlw solidarity. I’m not quite well educated on queer history, so excuse me if I’m wrong

have we always argued about who is more oppressed? did people use to give a shit whether a dyke was bisexual or lesbian? did people think that the biggest problem in the community was bisexual lesbians?

i just feel like we have so much fighting within our community nowadays. honestly why do you give a shit about bi lesbians? bisexual sapphics were part of the lesbian community for a long time, and the word lesbian was often used to simply describe women who were attracted to other women, bi or not

you don’t need to call your wlw relationship lesbian if you don’t want to, but I’m just confused as to why the community suddenly became obsessed with excluding people and making strict labels. slur discourse is dumb too. homophobes don’t care if you’re bi or lesbian as long as are attracted to women, slurs don’t care about your sexuality

im not a mspec lesbian myself, but i don’t see how they’re hurting our community. bi sapphics are not straight, bi sapphics have a complicated relationship to their attraction to women just like us, and they love women just like us

isn't that what being a lesbian should be allowed to be? do we *have* to put boxes and criteria onto our sexualities? or could we just say that "we are lesbians! we love women (and enbies) too!"

[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

[paranoianist]

My only wish is that one day I will get as close of a bond with Jesus that I had before. I miss feeling like, even when most relationships with my friends, family, and even partners have their ups and downs, God would always be there for me. I always felt like there was someone looking over me and making sure that, eventually, I would love a safe and peaceful life. Someone who, even when my addictions got the worst of me, would still be there waiting for me with open arms.

Over time, our relationship has been ruined by my constant observations that, most Christians don't accept LGBTQ+ believers as "one of them", and they often tend to exclude most queer people from their family. Get this, no gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, or transgender is gonna want to be a part of a religion where they don't feel accepted. The whole point of being a Christian is loving others like Jesus loved them, making them feel welcomed instead of making them feel unwanted and burdened.

So no, being Christian is not an excuse to hate queer people. Just because one verse was translated incorrectly doesn't mean that it has to define your life. Leave us be, and then maybe we'll decide to follow Jesus.

[funishment-time]

for the ask game, Toko Fukawa :D

you got it! i'll include Syo as well. this is a bit Incoherent, but with any luck you all can Parse what i mean

Sexuality Headcanon: Toko's...tough, because she's got so much going on. regardless, i think if you strip everything away she's genuinely Bisexual, as is Syo. they lean towards Men, but Komaru is special. additionally, i say "comphet" for a lot of the girls, but in Toki's case it's a bit different: hers was less societal and more the abuse of her peers and parents. had she never met Komaru it may have never occurred to her that she could love and partner up with a Woman.

brief aside on this: i don't think Toko would ever identify as gay or queer or anything remotely accurate or healthy (ha). nor would Syo, but Syo would probably use a Slur as a label to get a rise out of people, avatar of rebellion and grunge that she is. Toki in particular is on my list of personal "what are you, gay or something?" characters while actively being married to a woman, next to Miu and a few others. good times

Gender Headcanon: okay, hear me out on this one, and sorry if this doesn't make sense, but...

the Fukawas are generally cis to me, though i've imagined a few scenarios where they're trans. when they're cis, however, i headcanon that, if they're with Komaru, only Toko ends up actually being cis. Syo becomes a sort of...genderweird she/her because she sees herself as the fantasy-masc Byakuya to Komaru's femininity. for lack of a better term: Syo thinks of herself as Komaru's husband (hersband...) a lot.

i have no idea how else to explain this without getting mildly NSFW. my thoughts on it aren't really pornographic so much as, like, Psychosexual? you know? and i want to keep the blog somewhat PG-13, so i'll leave it there!

A ship I have with said character: i am a diehard Tokomaru shipper and they're probably the one OTP i don't like splitting up in the whole franchise. they have a game together. they are the Girls of all time

A BROTP I have with said character: i've always loved the idea of Komaru being the entryway into Toko genuinely befriending (or at least earning the tolerance of) a lot of her fellow survivors in the main timeline. i do think Makoto would sincerely be Toko's pal, though, and i adore positioning him as the sweet bachelor brother-in-law in their nasty little family

A NOTP I have with said character: are there people out there who genuinely ship Fukawa System x Byakuya? if so...i'm sorry, but why? whyyyy. again, i try to Live and let Live in this fandom, but lorda mercy you chose poorly in this case, no offense

A random headcanon: to expand on my previous point...i will add, however, that my Fukawa Headcanons generally don't exclude Byakuya. i've said before that, for me, the Fukawas never really lose their crush on him, but it becomes purely, well, NSFW. if you excuse me being blunt for a moment: they still want to rail him, he figures in many of their fantasies, but they don't want to wake up next to him, and they certainly don't want to have his kids or make him breakfast.

Komaru, however, is the Fukawas' WIFE. she is Love, she is Healing, and she is their very best friend at her core beyond all the romance. she is pancakes and shitty manga and joy. Toko (and Syo) may not dream of Komaru kicking them around, but they do dream of creating a peaceful life with her. well...as peaceful as things can get in that timeline. some shit is always Happening

anyway: and Komaru just accepts this, because she knows she's got the girl(s) in the end!

General Opinion over said character: 10/10 i love my Toki so very much. Toki kinnie 4 life. stinky little insect creature. vile and perfect and lovable

[shiftingwithmars]

“reminder that visibly religious people belong at pride. that person wearing a hijab is not a threat to you. that person wearing tzitzit and a kippah is not a threat to you. someone simply wearing an item that is culturally or religiously important to them is not a threat to you. however, your aggression upon seeing a religious person at pride is a threat to them.” what about Christianity? Why are we always excluded when our ideology isn’t far from the other religions you mentioned? Why is Islam always okay but Christianity is never okay? I respect and love all religions, but I just want to know your take on this. Have a good day👍

First of all, get your wimp ass out of anons.

Second of all, that wasn’t my post. I just reblogged it. If you have a problem, talk to the original poster.

Third of all, it’s because Islam is a minority compared to Christianity. Muslims have have gone through literally mass gen0cide because of their religion, Christianity hasn’t.

Fourth of all, Christianity isn’t excluded. Never once did anyone ever say that queer christians can’t go to pride.

The people who aren’t allowed at pride are b!gots and homophobes. And, guess what? A bunch of “Christians” use Christianity as an excuse to be homophobic and a fucking jerk.

[oknowkiss]

So what happens when the show airs and more writers join the fandom? Are we going to gatekeep? Exclude them from fests? Because they found hp after we did? Should I tell my kids they’re not allowed to read or watch hp? What kind of parent would that make me when hp was such a joyous part of my life and I’m still in the fandom? How can I tell other people that the fanwork they make, based on new canon, is not right but mine is? Jkr is hellish, but this is not how we make the fandom more inclusive

what happens when the show airs and more writers join the fandom? are we going to gatekeep?

to be honest, i truly have not thought that far ahead. to be even more honest? depending on how this show goes/what choices it makes, i may not be in this fandom when we get to that point. i am queer and i am already so tired and there are so many other things to do.

however. i do not agree that it is not inclusive for me to make a statement saying that i, personally, have zero interest in engaging with people who value an entirely unnecessary tv show over creating a safe fandom space for the very people who are being persecuted by JKR. making sure the non-white, non-cis, non-straight folks in our community feel safe here is exactly what inclusivity is.

i know that there are many, many people who exist outside of discourse and have no idea what she is about. those are not the people i was talking about in my original post, although when those people join fandom i do think they have a personal responsibility to understand why some members of our community may feel more exposed or targeted than others. the people i am talking about are the ones who (as i said) fully know what she is about, know that she is going to benefit from this show, know how she uses her money and power to actively harm people, and do not care, because they'd rather watch a fun show in 1-2 years. those people and i are never going to get along, there is literally no argument on earth that could get me to see their side, and that is all i was saying.

i, too, grew up with harry potter. and yes, these books brought me so much joy! i agree with you there! i don't have kids, but my friends do, and if they want to share HP with their kids that is their choice. this is, again, where personal responsibility comes in, just as i presume it would for any other form of media parents would share with their kids that has not aged well. because even if JKR was normal, the books do have obvious sour spots (see: the antisemitism, or the whole SPEW plotline, both of which may or may not be included in this show, which is supposed to be a faithful adaptation).

in sum: while it's true that there's no ethical consumption under capitalism, that isn't a blanket excuse to do whatever just because you want to. i can tell from your comment that that's not what you're saying, but i have seen people already who do feel this way. and those people are not people i want to be in community with.

[talknerdytome18]

Seeing all the shit regarding people's opinions on Seb after S4 that went down on Twitter just made me feel frustrated. Since I don't post on Twitter since I only use my personal account, I will just come on here instead.

You can dislike a character all you want. That's fine; I dislike many characters. Nobody is saying that you have to like a certain character; it's FINE to not like certain characters.

However, it is NOT okay to attack others who may like that character. It is NOT okay to erase the impact that character, especially with a character like Seb who is a part of the first openly gay couple in the HSM franchise. You can dislike Seb all you want; THAT IS FINE, but you DO NOT attack others who actually like his character. Stop calling Seblos stans losers all because you don't like Seb/think Carlos deserves better; we all know damn well that you never cared about Carlos until s4. I've seen your opinions about him TWITTER 🙄

Fandom is meant to bring people with the same interest together. People who may feel excluded may find comfort in fandom. By actively bullying others who have different opinions than you, that makes you a bully. You can go off and say "IT'S JUST A JOKE HAHAHA STOP GETTING UPSET", THAT MAKES YOU A FUCKING ASSHOLE. PEOPLE COME INTO FANDOMS BECAUSE OF THEIR COMMON INTEREST; THEY DON'T COME INTO FANDOMS TO GET HARASSED FOR THEIR DIFFERING OPINIONS. STOP WITH THE EXCUSES; I'M FUCKING SICK OF IT.

Seblos especially means a lot to many members in the fandom. To many, they have made many feel seen especially in a time where queer shows are being cancelled. Seblos was the first ship I had ever felt connected to and it makes me feel disgusted whenever I see people discrediting their impact all because of s4.

If you constantly make excuses as to why you're bullying others in the fandom, then you're just an awful person. You people are nothing but bark and no bite; you guys can dish it out all online, but are too scared to dish it out in person. This especially goes for a certain fanbase for a ship that, while is a beautiful ship, has the worst fanbase I've ever seen. I will not group all members as being bad as I've met some lovely shippers who have been kind and respectful. Why can't that be the same for Twitter?

All in all, this type of behaviour is fucking embarrassing. HSMTMTS is over and yet people are still arguing like children all because of Seblos being endgame. You can whinge all you about it, but you're not going to change it - they're endgame and that's that. You don't have a say and your non-existent spinoff will not change that.

You can be upset with the cheating storyline. Many Seblos stans are upset with it too, but it is not an excuse to harass us for still liking the ship.

You can dislike Seb. That is FINE, but it is NEVER an excuse to harass people who like Seb. This goes for anyone who likes a certain character (unless it's someone who is completely unredeemable).

This behaviour has gone on too long and was partially the reason why I deleted my fandom Twitter in the first place. Bullying others will never get you anywhere in life; stop excusing this behaviour all because it's a "joke" to you. It may be a joke to you, but it hurts for the person affected.

And if I, someone who has been trying to move on from HSMTMTS to AGGGTM, have to come here and say this, then you know that I'm pissed. I'm sick of seeing people feeling pressured to leave the HSMTMTS fandom all because some certain members with holier than thou attitudes think it's okay to harass others.

To anyone who has been bullied in this fandom/any fandom space for a silly reason, I am sorry that happened to you. You deserve much better. This blog sees your worth ❤️

Do better HSMTMTS fandom. - Em

[themswritinwords]

ALSO I'm once again going to be a panelist, presenter, and moderator at the LTUE Symposium in February!

LTUE is one of the most affordable writers'/creatives' conferences out there (extra discounts for if you're a student) while still giving you a massive bang for your buck. They have eight different 'tracks' for presentations and panels (writing, world building, art, TMA, academics, books, gaming, and professional development), but you can attend literally whichever sessions, panels, or presentations you want, so you can mix and match interests and professional goals.

It's super educational and I highly recommend it to anyone trying to go pro with their creative works, but it's also fun. Like obscene amounts of fun. It's all the best of a convention while also providing genuine professional opportunities. People come in cosplay, Sunday Best, and/or street clothes; I was on a panel last year next to an author with electric purple hair and a real silver fairy tiara whilst I was wearing a t-shirt with a sunglasses possum on it, and the guy on the other side of us was in a full suit and bowtie. There was a life-size Springtrap cosplay out in the main lobby. I pitched for the first time ever to 3 actual literary agents and got 3 requests. I got personal career advice from a 25+ year industry pro. A 12 year old with a "future author" pin asked me questions on my presentation and took notes, and so did an octogenarian in rainbow suspenders. I was taught how to write a professional query letter-- that has a 16% positive response rate, where standard is ~10%-- by a former lawyer in a pirate hat.

It's good vibes only, man.

But you'll also find professional agents, editors, artists, authors, directors, game devs and so on. It's a huge geek-fest that puts people at all levels of the professional world on equal footing. They've even got gaming events and filking circles.

In short, it's networking, fun, hyperfocus material, and professional-level education in equal measure.

I seriously can't say enough good things about it (and not just because I'm involved). There's something for every type of creator/creative out there, 11/10 highly recommend.

Anyway, here's what I'll be up to as a guest during all three days under the read more. (tl;dr conclusion, if you plan to attend and want to meet up, message me!)

Thursday

Original presentation (academics track): Folklore of the American South. An overview of myths, monsters, and old wives' tales from the rich storytelling heritage of the Southern States. AKA I finally have a platform to yell about my cultural heritage and by golly am I gonna yell about it! 10 am (yes it's a bit early, but I swear it'll be worth it! Y'all know you wanna hear about the Rougarou the destiny-determining powers of cornbread!)

Friday

Panelist: Shellshocked: Writing PTSD. Injecting realism into and dispelling myths surrounding characters with PTSD. AKA how flashbacks do and do not work, how to avoid making your character a caricature, and how to be sensitive so you don't use peoples' actual lived experiences as a sensationalist, reductionist cash grab. 10 am.

Panelist: Life After Coming Out. How to feature queer characters in more than just coming-out plots. AKA OwnVoices is not an excuse to exclude the reality of queer people in your built universes; don't write a story that's not yours to tell, but for the love of all things holy there's more stories to tell about queer folks than just The Big Realization! 11 am. (whew mercy, they gonna have me hoofin it all across that hotel RIP my ankles and my asthma)

Panelist: Fat Doesn't Mean Unfit. What it says on the tin. AKA a bunch of chubby folks are gonna demolish your fatphobia and why that's an important and good thing. Also I have a degree in health so I will be demolishing that fatphobia scientifically. 5 pm.

Saturday

Moderator: Dining Throughout History. A panel about how food, meals, and feeding communities did and did not work throughout history. AKA ancient Romans absolutely DID have takeout on the regular, and you're not a failure for not making 3 square meals a day at home with all-fresh all-natural ingredients. I mean, your characters aren't failures.... Yeah. That. 9 am.

Panelist: Nonnormative Relationships and You. The whats, whys, and hows of all the different non-romantic/nonsexual relationships your characters can find themselves in. AKA no shade to the romance crowd, but can we please stop forcing characters to kiss just because they're in physical or emotional proximity??? 11 am.

Moderator/Facilitator: Do-It-Yourself Medical Care: Hands-On First Aid. Come learn how to effectively injure and care for your characters by actually doing it! The caring part, not the injury part. We do not condone irl violence in the Marriott and as mod I will be obligated to fight you if you attempt to injure another participant. I can tell you right now as a both a stress crying asthmatic and the parent of a toddler with professional experience handling and subduing dangerous animals, it will be highly embarrassing for everyone involved. I seriously cannot tell you how excited I am for this one! It's me and four other authors who are also trained in medicine/health, so we're working hard to make this an informative and relevant experiential learning opportunity. They're only giving us 45 minutes, unfortunately, but we're already coordinating to try and pack in the most opportunities and most interesting exercises possible. It's gonna be so fun!! 1 pm, do not be late, we can only fit so many people and training dummies into the room!

Moderator: A Brighter Future: Solarpunk Fiction. A panel discussing the Solarpunk genre, why it's relevant, the ways conflict and worldbuilding would be different in a Solarpunk setting, etc. AKA a bunch of neohippies walked into a bar professional panel and decided to rant about sustainable living. 3 pm.

The rest of the time I'll be flitting around attending panels and presentations, checking out the art show and vendors room, socializing/networking, generally vibing, and maybe getting in a few pitch sessions. If you want to meet up, shoot me a message! I'm always open to Friending, and I know all the good places to grab lunch.

[chaifootsteps]

i just want bad people to quietly fade away without trying to lie their way back to popularity with people excusing everything cause the bad person is queer and literally for no reason other than that excluding being suspect for the same exact things that the bad person is well known to do

You and me both, Anon.

[genderqueerdykes]

also wanted to say i really appreciate all the talking u do about asexual and aromantic inclusion in the queer community, growing up on the internet i gravitated towards a lot of exclusionist spaces bc i didn't really know any better (not meant as an excuse, being an adult now i see the error in my ways) and didn't realize how harmful it was to exclude these people when they're really just like any other lgbt person. hearing you talk about how being part of the queer community just gives them a voice and a platform and all the work you do to destigmatize ace/aro folks is honestly so awesome and you're doing amazing. i'm sure you're opening a lot of people's eyes. i hope u only ever get the cold side of the pillow when u go to bed xoxo

hi there!

thank you so much for sending this ask, i really mean it. a lot of people are so mean about aspec, arospec and acespec people and i spent a lot of time in those spaces, as well for a while, because they were hard to avoid. a lot of the predominant online queer spaces for several years competely shunned aro and ace people and the prevailing mentality was that could never be a form of queerness. it wasd hard to experience and i'm sorry you were affected by it, too

it means a lot to me, because i came out as aromantic in 2015, after a friend of mine came out as asexual. it hurt because nobody saw that my identity was just as legitimate as my friend's. nobody saw that i naturally just don't experience romantic attraction and have romantic desires like those who do. nobody understood that i wasn't just saying things to sound different. nobody understood that i wasn't being 'predatory' because i don't feel romantic attraction, but want to date people

there are parts of the queer community that wish to exclude others. there are those that want to make it the LGB community. there are those that want to push asexual and romantic people outside of their own spaces outside of the greater community. i'm not here for it, i don't stand for cannibalizing and chasing out our own. we are family, and we are stronger together

thanks for sending such a sweet message to let me know i'm on the right track. it means a lot. take care of yourself, i hope you have a wonderful week, if you need any help feel free to stop by any time

[kodiescove]

I feel so entirely alienated from certain communities because of my sex repulsedness and refusal to have sex.

Can't date because people don't want a partner who won't have sex with them, will threaten to rape me.

Can't be in the kink community because people don't want a partner who won't have sex with them, will threaten to rape me.

Other queers argue whether my sexual identity is actually queer....

People will make excuses for why it's okay for people to exclude me, and why it's okay for people to coerce and threaten to rape me because I'm sex repulsed and have panic attacks at the thought of having sex.....

It just sucks.

[to-junipterandmars]

hi. i saw your tags on the post about vaspider/prismatic-bell/starlightomatic etc and how you had questions about whether they were actually zionist or how to tell if their claims to be pro-palestine were performative. i want to believe you genuinely are curious so im going to try to respond in good faith.

those three have claimed to not be zionists, yes, and they occasionally reblog a palestinian fundraiser here or there, but they far more frequently reblog from israeli extremists, including people who directly serve in the iof. their claims to record israel's crimes on the israeli side fall flat when they frequently deny that any genocide or war crimes are happening at all, and even justify the imprisonment and murder of children. since last october many of these zionists have instigated outright harassment against outspoken palestinians on this site (el-shab-hussein, fairuzfan, ibtisams, etc) talking about their own experiences with friends and loved ones who are still stuck living under the occupation. you can look at any of their blogs and you'll see them explain much more articulately than i can how insidious these types of liberal zionist arguments are.

finally, as an ace person, the part of your tags where you claim the woc who vaspider and others harassed were being aphobic and ask how that isn't just as bad as being zionist: I agree that aphobia is awful and that it hurts to be excluded from the community, but there is never any excuse or justification for sending harassment. nor are the two comparable imo. aphobia is a bigoted belief, to be sure, but zionism is not only bigoted, it is being used to support and maintain a genocidal occupation.

most aphobes are just kind of assholes, and there's a non-0% chance that maybe they'll learn from their mistakes as they grow. by contrast, there is blood on the hands of every zionist, including the ones who pretend to be neutral, because palestinians are dying as long as the zionist occupation remains without the structures that maintain it being dismantled.

sorry to bother you with this ask, but again, im sending this in good faith and i really hope you'll look into more palestinian blogs on tumblr and listen to palestinians when they talk about their experiences.

Hi yes thank you for this. I guess I'm not familiar enough with the stuff that any of those three blogs post. When i looked up their blogs what i saw from a few posts was that yes they definitely were zionist, but seemed to claim to be zionist in a believe-both-israel-and-palestine-should-exist way, which from what I gather is still being complicit in israels oppression??

After thinking about it more I think my question was more along the lines of But if they use the label of zionist, but still want a ceasefire and believe palestine should exist, is that bad?? (I see a lot of posts about how when you're fighting for a cause you don't have to be entirely morally aligned with every single person as long as they want the same thing yk) Of course you don't have to help me answer that, I can look up other resources/look at their blogs/the palestinian blogs you mentioned more closely myself - at the time, I also did not see this harassment of palestinians on these three blogs when I scrolled through them.

On the part about the vaspider acephobia discourse, I wasn't around when it was happening so I found a blog that seemed to have recorded the entire thing, which is where I found out what the entire dispute was about. (Supposedly some kind of list of ace-exclusionists was released, the woc in qstn said that jewish people and nazis being on the same list was anti semitic, vaspider defended the list etc) I wasn't 'claiming' that they (the woc) were acephobic, I think posting that ace people arent part of the queer community because we're cishet passing very much *Is* Acephobic - I'm not trying to drag up old dead discourse here but (at least as far as I saw) I don't think it's possible to prove concretely that vaspider did actually fake their own doxxing - it's entirely likely they were mistaken. I also hadn't seen any record of them harassing this woc (maybe I didn't scroll far enough). Regardless you're right that harassment is never okay, I just didn't see enough myself to say they were transmisogynist.